#the way that even 'i've heard that' in first line sets the situation up as being an uphill battle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pathologicalreid · 4 days

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gemini | S.R.

two emotionally wrought people collide at a wedding, and a sexual escapade ensues.

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut (18+ mdni) content warnings: softdom!spencer, use of the term "good girl" (i couldn't help myself), unprotected sex, reader on bc, alcohol, spoilers for 14x15 truth or dare, lowkey idiots in love, fucking against a wall?, fingering, heavy petting, r has an oral fixation, r is wearing a dress and makeup, explicit consent (hot), public sex, i think that's all word count: 3.42k a/n: this is a little self-indulgent and i don't care! based on literally just the first line of the song gemini by del water gap. probably not ever gonna get a part two. i've never done angsty smut (smangst?) before, so this was fun.

so, here's the setting, we met fucked up at a wedding

Swirling the drink you held in your hand, you watched your friends as they chatted. The pink liquid in the cup, concocted by Penelope Garcia, was far too sweet for your taste, but you needed the liquid courage to make it through the wedding.

It wasn’t that you weren’t happy for Krystall and Dave. It was that weddings oftentimes left a bitter taste in your mouth – one so bitter that not even Penelope’s drink could offset it.

In your periphery, you saw a blur of purple in the corner, looking up to see Spencer. His hand still bandaged from his most recent brush with death, he used his free one to grip a glass of water. Raising your eyebrows, you gave him your best attempt at a smile before you greeted him, “You look good, Dr. Reid.”

He was fully donned in his favorite color, and you tried to pretend that you didn’t notice that your dress matched the purple hue of his suit. “Thanks,” he said shortly, not quite meeting your eyes.

Noting the way he was looking past you, you demurely leaned your head down, glancing over your shoulder so that you could see what he was looking at, only to see JJ. She looked gorgeous in her red dress, laughing at something her husband said before her eyes caught something.

She was staring back at Spencer, and not for the first time, you found yourself wondering what happened in that pawn shop. Bringing your eyes back up to Reid, you watched the confused look in his eyes bloom as he peeled his eyes away from JJ.

Sick of it, you spoke up, “Alright, I had dibs on being the mopey one tonight. What’s wrong?” You had wanted to brush it off as long-lasting nerves from the hostage situation, but he was acting strange.

You knew you weren’t his best friend, that was a title that JJ had been the reigning champion of since the beginning of time. Yet, you still noticed the rigidity in Spencer’s shoulders as he displayed a clear discomfort with his surroundings. You tried to think of something to say to him. How could you ask him if he wanted to get out of here without it sounding like a sexual proposition?

“JJ told me she loved me,” he said, his voice so low you weren’t even sure you had heard him correctly.

Your head snapped up, “Oh.” Swallowing thickly, you tilted your head curiously, letting loose hair tumble to the side. “Do you love her?” Likely not the right conversation for the wedding of everyone’s favorite right-person-wrong-time couple, but you were desperate for a rope to pull yourself out of your wallowing.

He took a sip of his water before setting the empty glass on the bar counter, “I did.” The admission hit you like a ton of bricks, until her continued, “but now…”

Filling in the blanks, you shrugged, “She’s married. They have kids.” Spencer was always doing the right thing, so pushing his feelings aside for the sake of JJ’s family made the most sense.

Furrowing his brows, he pondered this for a moment before speaking, “It’s not just that. I have feelings for someone else.”

“Oh,” you repeated, and somehow the thought of him being in love with an unfamiliar figure hurt more than him being in love with your mutual friend.

The both of you let the conversation lag, watching as Penelope came back up to the bar and poured more drinks. After she accused you of being boring for not wanting another drink, everyone returned to the tables. “Have you dated anyone since him?”

You choked on your newly acquired water, cupping your hand underneath your jaw in an attempt to stop water from getting on your dress. “Uh, no. I’ve kind of sworn off dating ever since,” you replied, shaking your hand out and letting water droplets fall to the floor.

Sighing, you slouched in your seat, remembering that all you’d ever be was a jaded bride. Left by your fiancé on the day of your wedding, doomed to never love again. Until you met Spencer Reid.

“For everyone?” Spencer asked, and you cursed his natural curiosity.

His question caught you off guard. Despite yourself, you shook your head, “I have like… one person who, if they asked me, I’d say yes.” Your skin started to feel warm, and you weren’t sure if it was your proximity to him or Penelope’s drink coming back with a vengeance.

Spencer stepped a little closer to you, leaning casually on the counter as if he wasn’t affecting your ability to focus. “Who’s your person?” The question was innocent enough that it made your heart ache.

“It doesn’t matter, he’s into someone else,” you told him, reaching behind your neck to pull your hair up, haphazardly twisting it. You didn’t have a hair tie, so you let the locks fall once you felt some semblance of relief.

This statement seemingly bothered Spencer because he looked into his glass, “Did he tell you that?”

Nodding, you chewed on the inside of your lip. “Yeah,” maybe not in so many words, Spencer was rarely crass enough to say he was into someone, but you understood well enough.

The conversation lagged between the two of you once again, your own private thoughts were only interrupted when the music changed. It was a slow song, one for the couples of the night to dance to.

You took a chance, “Do you want to go explore the building with me? It’s getting stuffy in here,” you said, taking one final swig of your water before jumping up from your stool.

He looked back at JJ, who was there with Will, and then forward to the girl who was asking to take him away, “Yes.”

David Rossi had spared no expense for his second wedding to his third wife, and the manor that you found yourself meandering within felt never-ending. Something about following Spencer as he led the way and told you facts about the history of the building felt so normal, and you wondered if it would hurt when the night was over. Maybe this would just end as another memory to loathe about weddings.

Trailing him into another room, you stumbled into his back. Quickly, Spencer spun back and caught you before you could fall to the ground.

Steadying yourself, your heart thrummed at the way he was touching you, tightly holding your waist so that you wouldn’t trip. Once you were no longer wobbling, Spencer reached up and gingerly lifted the fallen spaghetti strap of your dress back over your shoulder. Before you had fully thought out your actions, you leaned up on your tip toes and kissed him.

It was hesitant and gentle, but once you registered that you were kissing him you soon realized that he was kissing you back. What started out as a small peck on the lips quickly morphed into full, open-mouthed kisses.

You thought Spencer might eat you alive, and for a moment, you thought you might let him.

Without separating your lips, he herded you over to the wall, pinning your hips to the wall as you felt heat grow between your legs.

Pulling at your bottom lip with his teeth, Spencer pulled away ever so slightly, your faces just inches apart. “Is this okay?” He asked you, his eyes flickering down to your lips like he was holding himself back from kissing you again.

There was fear. A fear that if you moved forward tonight, nothing would ever be the same, but you took a chance and nodded quickly, “Yes.”

Your answer acted as a release as Spencer dropped his head back down and the two of you reattached your lips. Despite your attempts to ignore it, you felt his hardened length pressing into you through several layers of clothes.

Twisting your head away, you gasped as Spencer took the opportunity to place his lips on your neck, gently suckling on the tender skin as you tried to catch your breath. “Are you sure about this?” You breathed, running your hands underneath his suit jacket, wanting nothing more than to push it off of him.

“Yes,” he answered, giving you the same consent that you had already given him, and it was enough for you to reach for his belt buckle. No matter how badly you wanted to see him entirely bare in front of you, this just wasn’t the place for it.

Gently, you slid your hand down his front, savoring the way his breath hitched against your neck as your fingertips precariously lifted the waistband of his boxers. He gently nipped at your earlobe as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock.

You let your head fall backward, allowing him better access to your neck as you moved your hand. Moving your hand up so that you could swipe your thumb over the tip.

You dragged your other hand down, pulling his boxers down so that you could get a good look at what you were working with, and biting your lip at the sight of it. Slowly, you started to pump his impressive length, noting how his breathing patterns changed with your movements.

Dragging a knuckle up the underside of him, he dropped his head to your shoulder as you collected his pre-cum on your index finger on your way up, bringing your hand up to your mouth and licking the droplet off, peering up at him.

“You’re so good at that, baby,” he told you, sighing as he reached up and placed his hand on the side of your neck, skimming his thumb over your jawline as his free hand started to make its way up your dress, pausing when he only met bare skin. “No underwear?” He questioned, furrowing his brow at you as you bit your lip, trying to refrain from pressing into his hand.

Whimpering almost indiscriminately, you shook your head, “Couldn’t, panty lines would show under the dress.”

Spencer hummed in recognition, moving his hand up to cup your sex so that you could feel your own wetness on his hand. A pathetic whine escaped your throat as your walls clenched with need, still stopping yourself from grinding on his hand. “What do you need?” He asked, a teasing lilt in his voice, “Come on, you can tell me.”

“You, please,” you answered, your voice dangerously bordering on pleading. “Your hands, anything,” you squeaked out, breathing heavily as you awaited his next move.

Gently, he slipped a finger inside your wet hole, causing you to release a satisfied sigh. “You’re so wet,” he whispered in your ear as you tilted your head back and pressed your lips to his.

As his hand picked up in pace, so did your breathing. With each movement of his hand, you struggled to keep your volume at a respectable level, small whimpers continued escaping you even as you bit down on the inside of your lip. “Spence,” you whined, moaning aloud as he slipped a second finger into you, “Oh, god.”

The silence of the room around you only exacerbated the wet sounds that were emanating from your sex, and if it didn’t feel so good, you might’ve been embarrassed. In fact, as you felt a familiar coil winding in your abdomen, you found that you didn’t have the capacity to feel anything other than pleasure.

Crying out, you nodded as Spencer continued to thrust his fingers in and out of you, “Fuck,” you said, caring less about your volume levels. Even less so when he responded by pressing the heel of his hand against your clit, the pressure proving to be enough to send you over the edge.

“It’s okay,” Spencer whispered in your ear, “Let it go for me, baby.” His words continued as you felt your walls spasming around his fingers, his ministrations had slowed, but he worked you through your orgasm before withdrawing his fingers and lifting them up to your mouth.

Accepting the invitation, you leaned forward and sucked the sweet juices off of his hand, slipping your tongue between his two fingers as you looked up at him. You half expected him to be watching you with lust-blown eyes, but he was watching you just as attentively as he had when you started this escapade.

He retrieved his fingers from your mouth with a satisfying pop and reached down to ruche the fabric of your dress up around your waist. “Wait,” he said suddenly, gripping the silky cloth, “I don’t have a condom.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head, “I don’t mind.” Still breathing heavy from your previous orgasm, you shook your head again, “I mean. I’m on birth control – and I’m good at it. I mean I keep up with it.” Now babbling, you hoped he’d say something. “I’m clean. I trust you.”

Nodding in understanding, he placed a hand on the side of your neck and looked at you intently. “I’m not going to do anything until you catch your breath,” he told you, taking up an authoritative tone.

Blinking rapidly, you evened out your breathing as he ran his hand up and down your torso, “I’m sorry,” you whispered, taking another deep breath as you looked up at him.

Spencer shook his head, “Don’t be sorry.” He leaned his head down, pressing soft kisses down the side of your neck as you finally pushed his jacket off of his shoulders. “You’re so pretty,” he murmured, leaning down to grip the backs of your thighs.

“It’s okay if you can’t lift me,” you rambled quickly, getting his attention as you aired your concern.

He raised his eyebrows expectantly, pressing his hips into yours and lifting your feet off of the ground. The leverage that he had, along with the support of the wall behind him, allowed him to get both of your feet off of the ground. You would’ve spent more time being impressed by this feat if you weren’t so distracted by his painfully hard cock that had now slipped between your folds.

Leaning down, you desperately kissed his lips, wanting him to give you those open-mouthed kisses that you had started out with. Instead, you cried out when, without warning, his full length slipped into you.

Placing gentle kisses on your collarbone, Spencer murmured, “Are you okay?” He whispered, seeming like he was using all of his self-control to just stay still.

You nodded, feeling his cock throbbing so deep in you that you were almost afraid you’d come from just that pressure alone. “Been a while,” you murmured, taking a deep, shaky breath.

He hummed in understanding, “I’ve got you, take your time.”

His words filled your stomach with butterflies, and it wasn’t just because he was fully sheathed in you. “Spence,” you whimpered, “Move.”

On your cue, Spencer gave a tentative thrust, permitting your resulting moan to mix with his grunt. “Fuck, baby,” he said, continuing to thrust in and out of your cunt, filling the room with the crude squelching of your actions. “I’m not going to last long,” he informed you.

Throwing your head back in ecstasy, you moaned helplessly when Spencer dropped one of your legs to the ground, hooking his arm underneath your other knee, providing a new, deeper angle. You swore as the sensations started to feel overwhelming.

The new angle gave him more control over his movements, enabling him to use his free hand to pull at your breast through the fabric of your dress. As you tugged gently at his hair, you tilted your head back, “Spence, I- shit,” you cursed, recognizing the tell-tale signs of your second orgasm approaching.

If it weren’t for his words of encouragement, you would’ve been embarrassed by coming too quickly, and if anything, the words only spurred you closer to the finish line. “Come for me,” he said, thrusting harder into you as he tried to reach the same point. “Let me know how good I make you feel,” he said, continuing his thrusts until his hips stuttered.

“Coming,” you whimpered, dropping your head forward onto his shoulder as you felt your walls tightening around his hard length. Crying out as he continued to pound into you, you buried your face into his neck and nipped at the skin to muffle your sounds.

Now he was solely working toward his own orgasm, having given you two of your own. “You’re such a good girl,” he panted.

Suckling gently at the skin on his neck – not hard enough to leave a mark, you littered kisses on his sensitive skin. “Come in me, baby,” you murmured, trying to spur him on.

Your success was apparent as his movements faltered and his cock started throbbing, feeling the pulses of his cum as it filled you, your eyes rolled back at the feeling while Spencer slowed to a halt, waiting for a beat before he pulled out of you entirely.

Shuddering at the emptiness you now felt, you leaned against the wall once both of your feet were on the ground. As your legs trembled, you watched as Spencer crouched to fish something out of his jacket, leaving you with your mixture of fluids running down your legs.

As he grabbed the handkerchief from his breast pocket, you gasped slightly as you realized his intentions. “Spence, you’ll ruin it,” you insisted.

“Would you rather go back out there with my cum dripping down your thighs?” He asked, knelt in front of you with his brows raised in mock innocence.

Swallowing thickly, you shook your head, “Jesus.”

He chuckled, using the handkerchief to wipe up the mess the two of you had made on your legs before carelessly tossing it into a nearby trashcan. Noting the way your legs were still shaking, he lifted your chin ever so slightly, “Are you alright?”

Nodding, you offered him a tired, but genuine smile. “I’m great,” you told him, wiping underneath your eyes where you were sure there was a mess of mascara.

Taking your hand in his, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, Spencer led to toward the French doors that led to the balcony, taking you out into the fresh air.

As you leaned up against the railing, Spencer shook out his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, doing his best to keep you comfortable. “Hey,” you whispered, “I really am fine. Are you? How’s your hand?” In all of the hormones, you had forgotten about his injury.

Spencer nodded, looking over the property that Rossi had rented. “I’m good, Y/N. I feel good.” You wished he’d call you baby again, but maybe that was too much to ask for. His eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked him, recognizing the look from years of working together.

He hummed, reaching up and sweeping a strand of hair off of your forehead. “That guy? The one who told you he’s into someone else? I can confidently say he’s an idiot.”

Flushing, you smiled to yourself at the fact that Spencer was calling himself an idiot, especially when he was anything but. Shrugging, you waved him off anyway, “Nobody’s perfect, Spence.”

“No, I suppose not, but even so…” he told you, allowing his voice to trail off like he wasn’t totally sure what he wanted to say to you. “If he can’t see what’s right in front of him, then maybe you need to turn your attention elsewhere.”

Sighing, you leaned your chin in your hand, “Thanks, but I don’t know. Maybe there is better out there, and I’m just not worth it.” No, after tonight, you’d likely never get over him. It might’ve started as a workplace crush, but you felt in your heart that it was now something deeper.

Spencer shook his head, “Now, that’s where we disagree.”

“Spencer, I can’t-“ Your voice is cut off when you hear someone calling your name from inside the building, smoothing out the front of your dress one more time, you step back into the room, coming face to face with JJ.

She smiles in recognition of you, but the grin immediately fades from her face when Spencer walks out behind you, “Hey, we’ve been looking for you guys,” she said flatly. “They’re about to cut the cake.”

Nodding, you took another quick look at Spencer before following the blonde out of the room, leaving your secret in the room behind you.

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getosbigballsack · 2 months

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Random thought!

But just imagine 35 years old CEO Gojo Satoru falling in love with the young woman whom he hired to be his surrogate.

Desperate at this point to fulfill his role as CEO and the heir of his family clan, he knew he had no other choice but to find someone who would be willing to give birth to his child.

He thought his ex-wife was the one. After all, she was pregnant when they were still together. When the due date came around and Satoru heard that she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, he was over the moon until he saw the baby for himself.

He knew that that wasn't his baby. Blonde hair and green eyes? No one in his family had blonde hair and green eyes. So he asked for a DNA test. His ex-wife refused at first, but then she gave in, and when the test came back, the baby was 99.99%, not his child.

He was broken. He served her divorce papers the following day, and after everything he had done for her, this is how she chose to repay him. As if cheating wasn't enough, she had to get pregnant and gave birth to another man’s child.

So now here he is sitting in a cafe waiting for the surrogate.

...

You didn't have much of a choice. 26 years of age and still struggling to get your bachelor's degree just so that you could live a comfortable life and be financially stable.

But with the way things are right now, you knew that it was an impossible task to complete your final year. You could hardly manage to pay your school fee. You kept on getting rejection letters from student loans, and let's face it, you barely had time to study to even try to get a scholarship.

So now you're stuck looking for a quick and easy way to make money. You had little options, and prostitution just so happened to be one of them. And you almost turned to it, that's until you heard that a "rich" CEO was looking for a woman who was willing to give birth to his heir.

So now that's how you ended up in the situation to you're in currently. Nervously playing with your fingers as sat across from no other than Gojo Satoru.

"Your name is Y/N?"

"Yes, and you're Mr. Gojo Satoru."

He shook his head yes while taking a sip of his coffee. "I hope you don't mind meeting like this. I thought it would be better to meet in a more casual setting instead of my office. I don't want to intimidate you."

"That's fine, Mr. Gojo."

"Before we get started, are you sure you want to do this? I want you to be absolutely sure because once you sign the contract, there is no backing out of it."

You shook your head yes before responding, "it's something that I've thought about deeply, Mr. Gojo, and after reading through the contract a few times, I came to the conclusion that I would rather have a baby for a stranger who is willing pay to me more than what my school fee is worth than go and become a prostitute."

He was shocked by your words but said nothing of it. It wasn't his place to say anything or have any comment about your personal life.

"Well then, I guess we can go ahead and meet with our lawyers and sign the contract."

"Lawyers? I thought... I can't afford a lawyer right now," you said to him.

He chuckled, "I figured that that would be the case. No worries, I had already hired a lawyer for you."

"You did?" You asked. Just then, the door to the cafe burst opened, and in came a man and a woman dressed in suits.

"Ah, there they are. Right on time."

Gojo stood up and greeted the lawyers before he introduced you to them. The man, Mr. Nanami Kento is his lawyer, and the woman Tetsu Akari is your lawyer. First impression she has a kind and calm aura around her.

But let's move down the line.

You four all sat and discussed what was on the contract, and before you signed it, Gojo asked, "Is there anything that you need to clarify before signing the contract."

"Yes, uhm, it's about the procedure. Are we going to uhm... have... uhm intercourse to conceive the baby?"

"We could since it's the safe way to go about this, but no," he answered with a small smile on his face.

"Ok then, where do I sign."

This is the beginning of how Gojo Satoru fell in love with the woman he hired to be his surrogate.

#gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk gojo #gojo satoru

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apomaro-mellow · 4 months

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Every Baby Needs a Daddy 7

Part 6

The idea of sharing space on a tour bus was a little daunting, even though Steve had met the rest of the band. He was glad to see how big it was, and especially glad when Eddie led him to the back of the bus where the bedroom was. It had a bed big enough for two, but that was about it. It was more than enough for him.

"The boys will be bunking on the pull-outs out there", Eddie jabbed his thumb back to the rest of the bus.

They were setting out for the first destination on their tour, New York, which would take them about half a day to get to.

"Can't believe I get to go on tour with you. I feel like an actual groupie."

Eddie hopped onto the bed and laid on his side. "You gonna toss your underwear to me?", he grinned.

"Why would I? I already got on the band's bus", Steve smirked, hands on his hips. He glanced out the bedroom door to where the rest of the band was pretending not to be interested in their conversation.

“And they’re really okay with giving us the only actual bedroom on the bus?”

“Sweet thing, they insisted”, Eddie said, laying back to spread out on the sheets. “I think they’re enamored with you.”

Steve beamed as he sat on the edge of the bed, lasting only a few seconds before Eddie grabbed at him. Joy bubbled forth from Steve and he didn’t even mind if Jeff and the others heard Eddie macking on him right now.

“I’ve never been on a tour bus before.”

"Well allow me to give you the official welcome", Eddie said before rolling Steve onto his back and kissing at his neck. "We got hours to ourselves, baby."

"Oh, whatever will we do?", Steve sighed.

Eddie rose up on his hands and knees to look down at the gorgeous man under him. And just in time for the bus to lurch forward and make him fall over the side of the bed with a yelp. Grant came to the door.

"You guys, uh, want this closed?", he asked, ignoring Eddie crumpled on the floor.

---------------------

For about the first hour, Steve watched the scenery go by the window and Eddie went over the basics of their itinerary. Starting from New York, they'd be cruising down the east coast.

"It's probably not as grand as the worldly traveling you've done before but I intend to show you a good time", Eddie promised, tracing the lines in Steve's palm.

"Actually, I haven't traveled all that much", Steve admitted. "When you're raising up a proper omega, you can't just let them loose unsupervised. I've been to California and Washington a couple of times with my parents but besides that..."

"Then I'm really gonna show you a good time."

"You can start right now. Bus isn't stopping for a few hours, right?" Steve pushed Eddie onto his back and rolled on top of him. In preparation for this trip both of them had been tested and been given a clean bill of health. Steve's cunt was already clenching at the thought of finally getting Eddie's bare knot. Of feeling his cum coating his insides.

There was something primal about it this time, as Eddie was fucking Steve. Not in any way that was ferocious or intense but in the setting and situation. Grant, Jeff, and Gareth had only great things to say about Steve, seemingly already accepting him as a pack omega. Being given the only private space on the bus, this room was like his own personal den, admittance to him and his omega only.

With his best friends just outside the door, surely knowing what they were getting up to even though there was plenty of noise to cover it, it was like they were sentinels guarding. How could his hindbrain think of this as anything less than a breeding session?

Steve was on his hands and knees, arching his back as Eddie thrust into him. He had started out trying to be quiet, but was sobbing now, begging Eddie not to stop.

Delirious with desire, Eddie started biting at the moles on Steve's back, leaving marks of his own. When he got to his neck, he put his teeth away but nudged at Steve's mating gland. A move so bold and unexpected, it had Steve crying out as he milked his cock. Eddie's teeth itched to sink down and make it official but he bit into Steve's shoulder instead, almost but not drawing blood.

He was still thinking about it hours later, when they arrived in New York and started preparing for the show. Tonight was just rehearsal and sound check for the real thing tomorrow night. Steve wanted to go and even pouted to get his way, but Eddie was certain he'd be bored and not so subtly told him about the hotel's spa.

After a massage, he went into the sauna and saw that there was another omega already inside.

"Did your alpha miss?", she asked the moment he sat down.

"Hm?"

She tapped the bite mark on his shoulder. "Did he miss?"

It wasn't proper to ask about bite marks in any capacity, only for the own of such marks to offer if they felt the information relevant.

"I don't have an alpha", Steve said, though it felt wrong to say.

"So just someone who's keeping you for now?", she asked.

Steve thought about it. Between the gifts and traveling and shopping, he was being wonderfully kept. "I suppose so."

"You must be new at this. I'm Heather. Can I offer you a bit of advice?"

"Steve and um, sure I guess."

"You can't let your generous sponsor bite you like that. The next one that comes won't like it. Might even give you something more permanent just to compete."

"You've had a lot of... 'sponsors'?", Steve asked.

"Mostly CEOs, an actor once. You?"

"He's a musician."

"Really? Anyone I know?", she looked intrigued.

Steve thought about how he'd known zilch about Corroded Coffin or Eddie before meeting him, but then remembered how his attention on the latest music trends was also next to nothing.

"You might. I'm not actually sure how popular they are." He hadn't seen the venue to know how many concert attendees to expect.

"Oh, well, you know what they say. If they haven't got a million than a half will do."

"Right", Steve gave a half-hearted laugh. It had him thinking for the first time if he'd be into Eddie at all were it not for the money. If all he had to offer was that one drink the night they met...

Steve thought about how they'd spent a decent part of the trip discussing chocolate chips versus chocolate chunks and how they'd gotten the rest of the band involved to the point where they had to make the bus stop at the nearest grocery store. It felt safe to say that even without the money lining his pockets, Eddie would have charmed him some kind of way.

That night, they got in bed early but were awakened by the sounds of the others coming into their hotel suite to make breakfast.

"And how did you know we weren't in the middle of coitus?", Eddie flicked a grape at Gareth.

"That was a chance we were willing to take", Jeff said.

Eddie was shirtless, walking around in Garfield patterned pajama pants. Steve had the decency to put one of the hotel's bathrobes.

"This is a CC tradition", Grant said. "Breakfast before the inaugural show of a tour. Then dinner after the last one."

"Everyone shows up, no exceptions", Gareth said.

"None?", Steve asked, accepting a mug of coffee that Eddie had made.

"One time Jeff got into a brawl right after the show. We had our dinner at the hospital", Eddie said.

"Well I'm honored to be a part of such a hallowed tradition", Steve smiled at the implication.

Day turned to night and they arrived at the venue. Steve looked out into the vast sea of empty seats and imagined them filled with screaming people. Eddie gave him a quick tour of backstage and even let him come up on the actual stage itself.

"Can't believe you actually perform like this, I could never."

"Oh I was born to entertain", Eddie grinned. And tonight, he planned on showing out. It would be Steve's first time, seeing and hearing them live. His blood pulsed as the hour got closer.

Show him my talents. Show him I'm worthy. Worthy to be his alpha.

Steve was all set up in the green room but of course had a pass that allowed him to roam backstage if he pleased. The boys also used the space to get ready for the show and he saw that they all had a pin with a horned red demonic head.

"What's this?", Steve asked, fiddling with the pin on Eddie's vest.

"Something from our old high school club. Keeps us from forgetting our roots."

"That's...really sweet." They'd known each other for so long. Steve was realizing how incredible it was that he'd been allowed into the fold like this.

The show finally started and at first, Steve watched a feed from the green room. He'd listened to a few songs but it was still a surprise to hear the way Jeff growled into the mic. It was hard for him to take his eyes off Eddie though. And soon, watching from a TV, no matter how clear the image was, wasn't enough. He put in the earplugs Eddie had given him and he left the green room.

Like a magnet, he went to the wings of the stage, still mostly hidden, but he could see everyone in the band from where he was standing. The crowd was a sea of energy and Eddie looked like there was no place he'd rather be. That is until he caught sight of Steve. His feet were frozen in place now but his hands kept moving against the guitar.

Steve bit his lip, thinking about how those same fingers moved on his body and made him sing in much the same way. Tonight he was going to give this man the ride of his life. His thighs rubbed together just thinking about it and Eddie's eyes caught the movement. Then his gaze met Steve and Steve just winked coyly.

The song ended and both of them were brought back to the present moment. Taking a breath, Steve took a step back and returned to the green room. It was a lot, being right there. He couldn't imagine how it must feel to actually be on stage. The concert went on and after thanking their fans for a stellar time, Corroded Coffin bid them good night. Eddie was the first one through the door which was good because Steve had been standing right behind it.

"Well?", he asked, wrapping his arms around the omega.

"You guys were great! Incredible!"

"Aw shucks, you're just sayin' that", Gareth smiled.

Steve was saying something in response, but Eddie only caught part of it. He was always keyed up after a good performance and needed something to help him burn off the extra energy. Usually in the form of an after-party or sex. He nuzzled at Steve's neck, holding him close. He did good. Steve thought he'd done good. No, he said great. Incredible. Steve had even come to see him with his own eyes. And he'd gotten turned on watching him play, Eddie knew it. He'd responded to his call.

"Are you, are you scenting me?", Steve asked quietly.

Eddie paused. They always carried each other's scent for a little while after sex, but this had been more purposeful. Eddie finally recognized the familiar itch under his skin and pushed Steve away, nearly throwing him at Grant.

"I gotta go", he said, leaving the room quick as lightning.

"What was that all about?", Steve asked, looking to the others. But they were just as confused as him.

Chrissy came in just about a minute after, her face like stone as she closed the door behind her. "The schedule's going to need some adjusting", she said. "Eddie just went into rut."

Part 8

Tag Team

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @sllooney @starman-jpg @oxidantdreamboat @xxbottlecapx @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord @beckkthewreck @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi @abstractnaturaldisaster @ellietheasexylibrarian @eyesofshinigami @dragonmama76 @marklee-blackmore @greatwerewolfbeliever @chaosgremlinmunson @blackpanzy @millseyes-world @batxsignalsx

#apo writes #stranger things #fanfiction #steddie #omegaverse #a/b/o #soon it'll be my turn to write crying sobbing whimpering eddie

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qiwoomi · 1 year

Text

ii. unexpected gesture

warnings: trauma, death, mentions of blood

series masterlist main masterlist prev next

You don't even want to recall how you end up having a dinner in a fancy restaurant with your husband in the first place.

Or rather, it is actually the first time that you both eat dinner together.

Only the clinking sound of your cutlery could be heard, making the silence between you both all the more obvious. Gods above, it's as if the universe itself turned its back towards you.

The silence drags on, until both of you finally finished your meals. Alhaitham looks up from his plate, grabbing a tissue as he wipes his mouth. You do the same, anticipating if you should say anything.

"I... want you to postpone the divorce." The man before you uttered, finally filling the uncomfortable silence. His gaze focused on you, searching for your eyes. You internally shrink under his eyes, his sudden suggestion to eat dinner with you is already enough to make you feel out of place, and now he is trying to make an eye contact with you.

The statement alone left you taken aback. "...Why?" You finally replied. There is so much you want to say, but you could only dream of mustering up the courage to say it to him. After all, he's quite unpredictable. What if you said something stupid? He would probably internally mock you, thus it's better for you to keep it to yourself. It's why you never try talking to him first.

It's laughable really. Maybe, even the moon and stars above would be entertained. What a loser. It's humiliating to think that you would end up in a loveless marriage when you've always been a hopeless romantic.

What's even more embarrassing is that the exchange of conversation between both of you is comparable to a regular discussion between business partners.

However, what Alhaitham says next is what fully caught your attention. "To be honest, I've never thought of our marriage as something out of convenience. It's no wonder that you would think that of course, since our situation itself is quiet... eh." It's the first time that he talks a lot. Usually, it would be either just a short request, question or reply. Nothing more than that.

"Like I stated. It's neither you nor is it my fault that we end up like this... So if you are planning to apologise, you shouldn't." You finally look at him in the eye. His mouth forming into a thin line, his brows furrowing. It's evident that he's already coming up of a reply.

"I want you to give me some space to think," Alhaitham folded his arms, his face morphing into his usual poker face. "it is to make sure that I don't make rushed decision. Moreover, I have yet to manage your alimony."

To make sure that he doesn't make rushed decision? It's not like he's the one who wants a divorce. Your relationship was fake anyway, what decision is there to make?

As if reading your thought, Alhaitham adds, "By the way, I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings in any way. I just... nevermind. Just give me 6 months."

Now that you think about it, you also do have to prepare for some things before the divorce. You still hadn't thought of which place you're going to stay at and etc.

Though a logical part of your brain wondered why would he need about 6 months to make up his mind. It's not like he's the one who requested for a divorce anyway.

You still agreed however. He might just want to exaggerate the time. Knowing him, he probably didn't take that much time to make up his mind... Alhaitham is known for his cleverness, he's the type to make a final decision immediately after hearing about them. Though, this is a different case.

As if last night's scenario isn't enough to leave you internally gag, you find yourself waking up to breakfast that is already prepared on the dining table.

A sticky note was then found beside the plate. 'I made you breakfast. — A.' You read.

You set yourself down, placing the glass of coffee as you start munching on the food. It makes you feel somewhat guilty for eating something that he make. After all, both of you mostly eat individually. Except when there's a special occasion of course.

Finishing the food, you immediately clean them up as usual.

Unexpectedly, you finished your class earlier than you thought. Your lecturer had business to do, so the class had to end at 3PM.

Your friends invited you to go out with them, but you refused. You want to head home and rest.

Stepping your foot inside the apartment, you went straight to your room. Immediately going for a warm shower. After that, you cooked some meal, and eat it inside your room while facing your laptop, which contains drafts for your assignments.

After finishing your meal, you clean them up and put it back to it's usual place, while also tidying up the living room for a bit. You continue where you left your assignment, typing away on your laptop now in a prone position on your bed.

Without your will, you inevitably pass out from exhaustion.

"You will lose everyone Y/n. Everyone will turn their backs from you. Just like me. " A voice echoed in the unknown room.

"You... Who are you?" You questioned. The woman in front of you has her face blurred, her body hidden from the mist. She's far from you, but her voice is loud enough for you to hear.

The figure only drew closer, your eyes widen at the sight of bloods dripping from her dress. As she draws closer and closer, you instinctively step back from her, as her face finally shows what you didn't expect. "Silly little girl, can't even remember her mother..." She then laughed maniacally. Her face was distorted, as your breathing becomes out of control.

"NO! Stay away from me! I don't know you!"

"You can deny it if you want but every time you remember about what happened, you'll always think about me. I'll always haunt your mind."

You covered your ears at this, shutting your eyes. "Please, leave me alone. I don't want to see you. Go away!"

"You know Y/n," She calls your name in a sing-song voice, "I've always wished you were dead. If only you were the one to die, years ago..."

Images of the incident years ago flashes through your mind, as you hyperventilate. The woman then walk towards you, her pace now increasing. It's as if she's chasing you.

"GO AWAY FROM ME!"

"Y/n! Hey, wake up!" Your body was shaken up. You quickly opened your eyes, only to see Alhaitham next to your bed. You don't even realise that your eyes are dripping with tears, your cheeks stained.

You are still recollecting what happened, but your body instantly reacted against your consent. As it reaches to hug the man beside you.

The man flinched, before resorting to pat your back.

taglist: @odevote118 @levisbebe @hitomi-inaru @no3hg3nshin

author's note: the first few chapters are a bit boring but it gradually gets better i swear 🤫 also taglist is open if u guys want

est. 020323

do not copy, translate and repost my work.

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin angst #alhaitham #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham angst #alhaitham x reader

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howtobecomeadragon · 2 years

Text

Posters, drawings, lookalikes, and more!

This post goes all over the place but I promise it's interesting!!!!

SO: I've seen these go around: the moment that Mike finds El in a trailer, we get a voice-over from Mike saying "that's not Will." And then this idea of maybe Mike's arc paralleling these lines from Hopper: from what Hopper had heard, Will could've been El and vice versa, they looked alike, and maybe he was chasing the wrong kid, like Mike has been doing the past couple seasons romantically.

But I actually found an on-screen example of a lookalike being weirdly in the mix of a scene with a romantic pairing. Again, round of applause to the set design:

Nancy takes off her shirt in front of Steve, and she's standing right in front of a poster featuring a woman with a white bikini to match Nancy's white bra. She's blonde while Nancy is brunette but that doesn't even matter in this scenario and here's why:

Nancy makes it clear in s1 that Steve seems to sleep around a lot, he has a big poster of a woman in a bikini right over his bed, in s3 he flirts with every cute girl that comes into Sccops Ahoy, he starts liking Robin after Dustin suggests it in s3, and then he starts to like Nancy again after Dustin suggests it in s4. He's looking for a woman, any woman.

When Stevw is about to hook up with Nancy, he's free to check out this other woman right behind her. He says "damn" and she says "shut up" and then they go to bed. This isn't to say Steve wasn't into Nancy, but maybe suggesting that Nancy is in over her head with him, foreshadowing them not staying together, suggesting that he isn't good for her. Basically that something about this situation isn't right.

I made a joke when I first noticed this: who is he even saying "damn" to?? Nancy or the poster? And that's the whole point here. Steve says "damn" when Nancy takes off her shirt, while looking at Nancy but the poster was very clearly in his field of vision. That reminded me of a couple things that aren't brand new, but I wanted to connect here:

Mike looked at El in s1 and saw someone who looks pretty similar to Will. This visual similarity comes up twice, iirc, in s1. And then it happens again in s4. They gave El bangs so that she looks similar to Will, making the situation from s1 (IF they had the same hair, would they look similar? Well now they basically have the same hair when El's is up in a ponytail) a reality. They also dressed El in a plaid shirt in 4x04 so that she looked similar to Will (which was stated by the costume designer in that one video).

While Steve is looking for a girl, any girl, Mike had feelings for Will as a child, and latched onto a girl that looked similar to him, as that made the most sense to a repressed queer kid in the 80s. That's why it's important that Will and El look similar while Nancy and the poster woman don't look similar.

Bringing this back to posters behind a love interest: we get this from s3. Initially, we only see that Mike's hawk poster from his basement is in his field of vision and a butterfly is in El's field of vision. Mike is looking for masculinity and El is looking for something feminine, childish? But later in the episode, we see Will's drawing is right next to the poster. I'm not 100% sure if this is Will's D&D character (bc of the fire) or Mike's (bc of the sword), but either way, Will's drawing is there for Mike to look at while being with, kissing El, similar to the bikini poster.

Additionally from s4, we have this post by @willbyerssupremacist, with the picture below: Will's drawing again in Mike's field of vision behind El. And Mike looked up after reading El's "from, El" letter to look directly at Will's drawing, noted in this post by @chirpsythismorning.

Bringing this back to Steve saying "damn," it also made me think of Mike's speech to El in 4x09.

Mike hears Will call him the heart, he turns around, and says "I love you" to El.

I don't think we focus on this enough: Will didn't say "tell her you love her." He said "you're the heart," boiling down what he said in the van: "you guide us, inspire us, hold us together, and we'd fall apart without you." But Mike took that prompting from Will and told El he loves her. Partly because he knew that was what their last fight was about, but could it also be a case of feeling his feelings towards Will, looking at Will calling him the heart (the poster in this scenario) and then turning to El and spitting out his version of Steve saying "damn" to Nancy?

Looking at another example that I found of posters behind a love interest signaling something negative about the couple:

The introduction of Max to the party is very focused on Dustin, we don't get close ups on the other boys during this initial intro, and what does he see behind her? "Extra! Extra! First Woman." Dustin's first crush. But it's just the first, showing that there's going to be more, she's not it for him. Which reminds me of El saying that Mike is her first boyfriend, right?

And we have this imagery at the Snowball: Dustin just panning his vision to see what's next after Max isn't an option anymore: more women after the First Woman! Similar to how Steve and Mike could've just panned their vision over while looking at Nancy or El to see what else is there: hot girl in a bikini, a reminder of Will.

So basically, there's something here with Will's drawing being in Mike's field of vision when he's with El. It's a parallel to two other failed romantic matches. And I just think that poster behind Nancy is so interesting!!! I'll be posting more about some Nancy parallels soon. 🙂

-----

Edit: Some Nancy-Byler parallels all kind of loosely connected: part 1, part 2, part 3

#byler #st parallels #st set design #st cinematography

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thecameronchronicles · 1 year

Text

Once In A While

TW: Smut. Language.

SUMMARY: Overhearing you complain about not being taken care of enough, Rafe sets out to rectify the situation.

WORD COUNT: 1000

REQUESTED

Anonymous Asked

holy shit i think your writing is the best thing I've ever read. no lies.

you do such an amazing job at writing rafe. literally INCREDIBLE.

I have an idea for a rafe fanfic from reading another one of your fics.

rafe evesdrops on a phone call or something and hears you say something along the lines of "i give rafe head a lot and he only does the same for me if its my birthday or something" and then he fixes that??? does that make sense????? lol.

THANK YOU YOU SLAY SO SO SO HARD

*THANK YOU SO MUCH! WOW! WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO START MY DAY TO SEE A MESSAGE LIKE THIS. THANK YOU! I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT DAY AND I HOPE THIS FIC IS EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND MORE!*

Once in a While

"Once in a while?! I thought Rafe would be the kind to always give good head..." She spoke on the other side of the phone as you let out a deep breath.

"He only makes me come with his tongue if it's my birthday or he fucked up or something..." The response from your friend was silenced as you caught sight of Rafe in your peripheral vision. You were foolish enough to hold such a private conversation in the living room, where not only Rafe, but anyone, could hear you. And now you would be forced to endure the consequences.

"Bedroom. Now."

He demanded as your jaw clenched. Your ass was already prematurely sore as you were prepared for the dominant order he would direct you to remember. You could already imagine how he would make you apologize for describing such intimate details to someone who wasn't him. At least five slaps for this.

"Lay down. Everything off but your underwear." He didn't even look at you as you watched him close the door before obeying. But he would only look at your legs as you had them pressed tightly together from nervousness, suddenly feeling anxious. Virginal.

"Only once in a while?" He asked as you went to speak as the sudden force of his knees taking your knees apart would silence you into a gasp.

"I only savored you because I didn't think you would be able to handle it every time...but now you know..." Your legs were pulled abruptly towards him until your thighs came to a rest at his hips.

"I have a lot to make up for...." He teased, humor illuminating eyes that belonged to the part of an otherwise deadpanned expression.

"And I don't care if you are shaking...screaming...threatening...I'm not stopping until I've more than made up for it."

"Rafe-"

His hand came to your cheek.

"No, no, baby...I've heard more than enough from you tonight. The only thing you need to tell me now is how good it is...because I'll know when you come...I always do…" Although he could have maintained the integrity of your panties by disposing them off of your hips, he would tear them instead. All to gain your reaction.

"Wider." He guided as he moved to his knees, eyes focused on you as he made those first stripes of his tongue.

Rafe Cameron was a generally verbal lover. Always needing to feed his own ego with an interrogation that prompted you to praise him. But in this instance, he would only speak in that predatory narrow of his usually wondrous eyes, his tongue otherwise invested between your lower lips as your eyes rolled in approval. But just as he was devoted to prove his point, he was just as motivated to remind you that he was dominant. So with any shift made to become more comfortable or guide him to the most sensitive patches of nerves making up your clit, he would station you flat with that long forearm effortlessly domineering in its weight.

And this was where he would keep you for hours. Pinned beneath his arm, edging you without so much as a single stroke to his cock. And this was all because as much as he throbbed for you, he was a proactive man. He couldn't let his girlfriend be left unsatisfied. Not even if she begged. Which you had begun to, to which he would only slow his strides.

"Please!" You belted in finality, edged to your limit as you groaned and thrashed beneath him.

"Please make me come, Rafe"

"I have so many nights to make up for...afternoons...business meetings and lunches...not to mention all the times I could have woken you up-" He was now hovering over you, your slick dripping shamelessly off of his jaw as he spoke against you.

"All you had to do was ask, baby, but now I'm gonna have every asshole your blabbermouth bitch of a friend will tell them I'm not doing right by you...making them think they can do better." He scoffed, forcing you to rise to your knees and palms, but only to continue this pleasure from a new angle.

"And from here on out, it will only be once in a while that you ARE able to walk. And you keep fucking questioning me and I'll make it hard for you to talk, too. Make it real clear for everyone that you misspoke, yeah?" You nodded.

"So for now, scream before I take away the chance for you to do that-" You allowed your body to bask in every single sensation he had allowed. Pain and pleasure unified by overstimulation edging, and his trained touch, while you groaned and arched over him. You were vulnerable and desperate, his name as curses building you to that crest of madness, as he finally pulled you over as you trembled. The release was too much as he now threatened you with his fingers.

"Rafe, I already came!"

"Think you have to tell me? I know those moans. I know that clench...these trembling thighs..." He scoffed. "But that was only once. You're in for a long night-"

"Please, Rafe..."

"Good girl. Get used to saying that. But just understand I'm still not stopping..."

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @camilynn @sweetestdesire@belcalis9503

#rafecameron x reader #rafecameronfanfiction #rafecameron #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #outerbanks #obx #outer banks smut #obxsmut #outer banks #obx fanfiction

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schmedterlingfreud · 5 days

Text

Better late than never, finally Luca had his cinema release even here in Italy! 25th of April, a National Holiday. This makes perfect sense, right? I wonder if that was a marketing strategy or something like this. No school, no work? Come to the movies, Italian people!

I booked my ticket online. Ticket for one, please.

This is my first all alone cinema experience. In truth, my brother offered to come with me, but I denied. I have nobody else (friends, relatives) to ask for, but I think I would have come by myself regardless. I wanted to be alone with my emotions only, like I was always been while watching the movie alone, in my home, thousands and thousands of times. Or, this is what I believed.

The day before I had my night shift at work. Came home at 6 am, after being excited all night thinking about this experience. I'm very tired, so I try to sleep a little bit. I don't want to be exhausted, I want to enjoy myself, and I set my alarm clock just in case. When I woke up I don't bother myself for breakfast/lunch. My stomach is knotted in twists, and popcorn for brunch sounds nice.

It's a gray and chilling April day. A perfect weather for a cinema date, even if I was hoping for a little bit of sun.

Anyway, I immediately buy myself my favourite popcorn: toffee flavour. :)

This place is nearly desert. Just the two guys collecting tickets, one of them behind the snack bar, and few families, or just father and son. What kind of movie are they gonna watch? Luca? Godzilla? Kung Fu Panda?

I try to entertain myself with this kind of questions, slowly nibbling my popcorn, because my heart is beating faster and faster, my belly hurts and my legs are beginning to shake. My head is heavy, like filled with water. My eyes blurred for a certain kind of sadness.

I wonder how this experience would have been if I wasn't alone. It would have been nice to have a friend to share this joy and happiness with. A friend to laugh with, to cry with, or just to enjoy the moment, this little and meaningful sparkle of life.

I think about this singular situation: going all by myself to watch a movie that talks about the gift of friendship.

In the cinema hall I'm not alone but there are very few people. Ten or less people?

It's 2 pm, nobody go to the movies so soon, so our room is small. I think it's better this way. It will be just like at home, intimate, quiet, but with a bigger screen and a better sound. And with my popcorn bowl :)

I chose the last line of chairs to not have someone behind me. Maybe I'm gonna sob a little, and I don't want to embarrass myself. Fortunately, nobody seems to care about a single little girl sitting all alone during a family movie. That's cool, I think.

Every time a movie trailer ends and there's that little black space before the next one, my heart skips a bit and my hands grip the armrests. I'm sweating cold.

"Ohmygodohmygod, that's it, is it time? Another commercial? Is the movie starting?"

And finally it starts.

At the beginning, I was already sobbing. A drunk smile printed on my burning lips. I was waiting for this moment for months, or even for years, from the very first summer when the movie aired on streaming only.

During the introduction scene, underwater, in the fish village, the background music stabs my chest and pierces my poor little heart, opening a window to the first time I've heard it. Memories about that happy and lonely summer, so dear to me.

I still think about that surreal summer of 2021, about that sweet and burning feeling of love, melancholy and sadness this movie gifted to me.

After that, things went downhill for me. What followed was in fact the worst period of my life. I think about how Luca was one of the little joys that remained close to me. The friend I didn't have. An hour and a half to feel less alone, to find a place where I could pretend my problems didn't exist. I think back to the deep feeling of nostalgia I used to experience every single time, returning in Portorosso. The happiness of a place and a time where everything is simpler, just like a world imagined by a child. Many criticized Luca for being a "too simple" movie, yet it has always been that simplicity that comforted and moved me, that gave me a peace of mind that I thought I couldn't find on my own, and I will always be grateful for that.

Luca is a movie about friendship and inner growth, of that troubled time between childhood and coming of age where you have to choose your path, your own way of life.

For many of us, childhood is a time remembered with sweetness and nostalgia. I'm not sure if this is the case for me. Too shy, too quiet, too introverted… even as a child I struggled to make friends and be among them. I've never found a place, or a group of people, to belong to.

Maybe this is the reason why this movie touches me deeply. It gives me back something, a connection, that I have never had and that perhaps I am still looking for, despite having resigned myself to my loneliness. I'm still alone on my tower, I guess.

When I exit the movie theater, it's not so cold anymore. A chilling wind is still blowing from the mountains, but clouds are thin, and a surprisingly hot sun is smiling at this spring afternoon.

I don't immediately jump in my car, even if I have to go the supermarket for my grocery shopping. I wait, I sit on the steps, I lick my lips indulging in that sweet caramel popcorn taste, and I think. I think about my life, my past battles, what the future is holding for me. I fear this question, I fear my solitude, I fear myself, my insecurities, and all that hard paths I will have to cross all by myself because, deep down, I know I will be alone.

In my adult life, I wonder if I still have the right to hope or to wish for something or someone.

To hope for a friend, someone to make me feel important or special, or simply to share a hug with after a bad day. "I'm here for you, no matter what. You don't have to stay hidden in your tower of solitude anymore."

I have no idea what life will hold for me from now on, but I know that Portorosso will be there for me. And I won't be so alone anymore.

... thank you for reading. :)

Remember to take care of yourself, always. 💙

#my post #luca #pixar luca #luca 2021 #luca paguro #disney pixar #pixar #cinema #dan romer #Spotify #portorosso #luca pixar #personal

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egg-emperor · 7 months

Note

One thing I found particularly interesting in Final Horizon is that in one conversation with Amy, the doctor seems to express sympathy for the remnants of the Ancient's consciousness that only come out at night due to their fear of The End even many years after their extinction. I dunno, it adds dimension to his character IMO that even though he's an awful person through and through, he's still capable of at least expressing some sympathy towards others.

I don't mind if this was the intention with it or if what I'm personally hearing it as was for reasons I'll explain in a moment buuut- I honestly kinda can't really hear it as being genuine sympathy. His tone and the little "hmph!" before saying it sounds slightly amused almost. I keep trying to unhear it and read it as sympathy but I can't.

Putting with sound here to see if anyone else can see what I mean with that in mind:

youtube

That's not just me saying this out of wishful thinking or anything as like I said, I don't mind if that wasn't that the intention. He absolutely has low empathy from all I've observed but that doesn't mean he couldn't ever have any at all in any situation ever hypothetically, so I wouldn't be mad if it was the intention for him to feel slight sympathy.

Though I think it'd be a liiittle ooc in this specific way as he's never given a shit about anything bad happening to anyone before, so why would this be the time and way? It'd be a strange way to suddenly throw in now this way after many opportunities before. Cute little creatures don't make him care and feel bad, otherwise he would've felt that way about those he captures and uses in robots.

But it doesn't sound like he genuinely feels really bad for them exactly to me. His tone and his "hmph!" makes it sound like he's more a little amused and says it with a lilt, that was my first impression and I can't unhear it. With subtitles alone, you can imagine a sadder tone more along the lines of what Sonic and co express when saying such things but that isn't what it sounds like from him in comparison. That's why it didn't raise any brows at all when I first heard it.

Going by tone, I'd say the delivery on the memo where he acknowledged The Ancients dying out sounded more like they could've set it up for him feeling sympathy as his tone would've been more appropriate. But instead three memos after, he's just like "Sure it wiped them out but I could handle The End because I'm just built different I'm a genius!" -

youtube

He basically brushes off the severity of the tragedy and insults their skill and intelligence with that, like they just needed to get good like him, so he clearly wasn't actually sympathetic then either.

BUT if he somehow was even just a little bit sympathetic for even a second, it would be an even more of a deliberate fully aware choice of his to still be an asshole about it like that, so that would just make him worse and would mean he has a very low amount if any at all to still be able to do that. And that would potentially make him even more dangerous and threatening if he had the emotional intelligence to feel that sympathy, yet he still chooses to be a jerk about them dying out and still choosing to be horrible person. So that's why it's good and funny either way to me lol

But it's not like he changes in tone when talking to Amy like he's just pretending not to care about them or something, if he was feeling sympathy then I don't think he'd even say that in front of her at all. And especially because in the memos he made it even obvious that he doesn't feel sympathy for The Ancients getting wiped out and still chooses to be a dick about it a few memos later- and that's when he's alone speaking to himself and could've been honest and open.

So I'm currently interpreting it as an example of his low empathy shown through a way where he's saying something that could be sympathetic coming from anyone else with the feeling and tone, but he just doesn't have it to match the words he's saying and it just seems detached. Since usually it's through him blatantly stating he doesn't care about something or brushing something off as insignificant. The latter is there a bit by how it sounds like he's bemused and detached but the words don't match like with the common former with him.

But the way it sounds a little amused and attached just almost loops back around to his cruelty because while he doesn't particularly revel in it, him sounding even slightly amused at the idea of them still being in hiding in fear... and how he talked about how he could've handled it better than the ancients... well. XD That kind of makes it seem almost the opposite of sympathetic to me. Not amusement to the point of it being another case of his sadism, but rather just an example of him being a lot more detached and a little apathetic really.

To put it simply, the vibe I'm personally getting is that it's like he's just going "ha! funny how it's like it's just happened and they still hide in fear of what wiped them out." And that alone is far from "he's actually showing sympathy towards something" to me. But as I said, even if that was the intention, it's not a bother to me and I'm willing to entertain it for how it could make him even more dangerous for that (though he absolutely is enough already if not of course). But I can't say I can hear it as being a moment of genuine heartfelt sympathy from him.

#dr eggman #dr robotnik #eggman #dr. eggman #sonic frontiers #sonic frontiers the final horizon #sonic frontiers spoilers #sonic frontiers the final horizon spoilers

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eclipse15 · 1 month

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Recently I had a nightmare of everyone around me being part of some kind of cult. Really notably, I desperately went to our mother and she acted incredibly concerned just for me to eventually find out that she was part of it. It was specifically a child exploitation group. Before this point. Ai felt nothing about the concept of possibly being a victim of ramcoa before. The only thing even close to cult like that could've possibly fueled that dream was a game that talked about a kinda ritualistic group, nothing more.

Ever since, I've been full blow paranoid. I can't tell anyone about the dream or the fears I'm having over it because then they'll report me to group. The more I research, the more things line up with my experiences and struggles.

I have no memories, but I've had this collection of unexplained trauma responses. Like, sometimes during breakdowns, our wrists will get stuck together, as if they're bound.

I don't know, I'm rambling but I'm scared cause I don't know where to start for answers. I'd go to my therapist but we're at a rocky point and I've recently lost trust in her. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

TW: IN DETAIL TALK OF ESCAPING A GROUP, WHICH MAY TRIGGER CHI PROGRAMS IN SOME. ABUSE TALK

Okay I can’t understand if you mean that you have this information from a dream, this information from your mother and trauma responses, or both. I’m going to respond as though it was clear you chose the middle.

If you are currently living in a situation that is putting you at risk for abuse I would focus on getting out of that situation. For example, if you are still living with your mother and she is an abuser like she says, I would recommend moving out and not telling her where. Same goes if you are living with any other abuser.

If you absolutely need to escape, if your life is at risk, or if you cannot simply move normally without remaining in the group, here are some escape tips. Only attempt this if you’re a legal adult in your area AND the area you will be leaving for. Also, if you are certain extreme omega will be triggered by this, try to move the “normal way” first.

Moving out can be done when you know the abuser(s) will be gone or unavailable-if they’re at work, on vacation, etc. It’s important to do lots of cleanup before you leave, as it’ll make it easier for you to do so. I’ve heard of people trashing their room (if it’s safe) and passing all the clean up off that way. I’m pretty sure U-Haul is cheapest in terms of cargo add-ons for cars, but you can decide if you wanna use that. If you don’t have a lot of stuff to take a packed car or a van will work fine.

I know it may be hard, but don’t take your phone. Get a burner or stay tech-free until you can get a new electronic.

If you need to cook, bring a bowl, other cooking supplies, and something like a hot plate. Public water fountains and some ramen can provide easy food. A fire could work but you’d need a legal place to start it.

Save up money. You could take on a bunch of odd jobs, mow lawns, do chores, get a job and make it clear it’s temporary, etc. If for some reason you can’t work set up a go fund me for something inconspicuous like “a new phone” or something believable to both internet goers and irl people-lie, especially if your worried about group members finding the page. (Don’t exploit human rights go-fund me’s such as Palestinian evacuations, though.)

Getting money could also contribute to you purchasing a tent or even apartment if you get a lot. Go to a camping ground far away, unassociated with anyone you know.

Keep mind if you get reported missing you can pass it off as a rebellious act and say that you’re an adult so you can make your own decisions.

If you are worried about a group tracking you, don’t share any identification in spaces where you are talking about your RAMCOA. No irl name, no face, no age (other than maybe if you’re a minor), no state/county, hell even no country if you’re really worried. Don’t show any pictures of others in your life either, such as friends or pets, it could be traced back to you.

Also, I’m only mentioning this since you say you’re paranoid, but you could be experiencing psychosis. I’m not gonna say it’s likely or unlikely, but I would recommend checking for markers of psychosis and if you check boxes using psychotic grounding techniques.

Sorry if this was a long-winded rant. I just want everyone to be safe. Hope this helped.

#🧩#did alter #did osdd #osddid #polyfragmented #polyfrag #polyfrag system #ramcoa #ramcoa system #hc did #actually mentally ill #endos dni

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skyloftian-nutcase · 10 months

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For anyone who wants to check in on the Healthcare Boys, here's what they're up to :)

As soon as he stepped outside, a smile immediately lit up his face. The day was a beautiful one, air crisp, wind prevalent but not overwhelming, and the sun was just hidden enough in the sparse clouds to offer reprieve from the heat without losing daylight. His red motorcycle was waiting for him, and Sky eagerly hopped on. At first he gently guided his bike through the gravel driveway, enjoying the way the breeze blew across his face as he hadn't put his helmet on yet. Once he reached the main road on the mountain, he got himself situated, settled his helmet over his head, and gunned the engine.

The air was so loud he couldn't hear anything but the sky's constant push. The world whirled around him, his worries and heaviness and exhaustion left behind in a whirl of adrenaline and speed and air. He laughed, leaning into a turn before straightening out and nearly spreading his arms out like he was flying.

Heavens above, it felt so good to go out and ride. He couldn't wait to get to the skydiving site.

XXX

Four glared intensely as he moved his hand slowly. Legend watched him scrutinously.

With the utmost concentration, Four slowly drew a circle. Then he slashed a line through three circles, smirking. "Three in a row."

Legend did a double take. "Wait, wha--"

Three in a row. Three in a row! How had he gotten through his defenses so easily?! This wouldn't stand!

Crossing his arms defiantly, Legend huffed. "Rematch!"

Four laughed. "If you say so. I've beaten you twice already."

"Yeah, and I beat you three times before that! I'm a king at tic-tac-toe."

"We'll see about that," Four said with a challenging smirk as he drew out a new board for them to play on.

XXX

The day was perfect for swimming.

Not that Warriors was a particularly good swimmer, but Wind was, and the boy was so excited to go to the water park.

So excited, in fact, that he kidnapped Warriors for all the attractions.

The nurse had to admit, though swimming wasn't exactly his favorite pastime, seeing Wind giggle in delight as he dragged him up the stairs of the next water slide was worth it.

XXX

It was a slow, comfortably warm afternoon as Time traced over Malon's temple with a finger. He slipped his hand into her hair, brushing it out of her face and onto the pillow as she smiled up at him. He dipped in for another kiss, feeling her rise up to meet him, and the world slipped back into ecstasy for the lovers.

XXX

"I still can't believe this ratty motel actually has a hose we can use," Wild muttered as he watched Twilight set up the little pool.

"Miracles never cease," Twilight commented before saying in a higher pitched tone, "You ready buddy?"

Little Wolfie stared between the two, his head cocking to the side as Twilight talked to him. Wild swore he heard his friend squeal in delight at the sight of it, especially since one of Wolfie's ears was halfway perked up.

Wild himself still wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of the puppy, but... by heaven, even he had to admit it was being unbelievably adorable right now.

That didn't mean he was going to help with this, though.

Twilight turned on the hose to a gentle trickle, easing his fingers through the puppy's thick fur as he soaked the little one. Wolfie, to his credit, took it, seeming to enjoy the cool water, though he trembled a little. Wild felt bad for the little guy. He was probably scared.

"You mind gettin' the shampoo?" Twilight asked.

Wild grabbed the item and held it out.

Twilight took the item, releasing the puppy for a moment, and chaos immediatly ensued.

Wolfie decided now was the time to not only dig and pounce around in the water, but try to escape the pool and eat the hose. Twilight yelped, catching the pup before he could get far, and Wild laughed.

"So, you still think this is a good idea?" Wild asked.

"You could help, you know!"

"Nah, I'm not getting bitten. Nor am I getting fleas. No thanks."

Twilight huffed, an annoyed pout crossing his face, and Wild had to laugh again. His mirth didn't last long, though, when Twilight grabbed the hose, cranked up to full throttle, and sprayed him in the face.

Yelping, the amnesiac tackled Twilight, and both young men fell into the pool alongside the puppy.

XXX

It was damp and chilly, a nice reprieve from the daylight as Hyrule held his flashlight carefully. He stepped gingerly over rocks and tried not to touch the stalagmites and stalactites all around him, as delicate and old as they were. The cave practically sparkled as he shone the light around, moisture glistening in reflective delight.

Hyrule's lips pulled into an enormous, excitable grin. He'd mapped out the locations of six different caves in this area, and he was going to explore them all.

He loved spalunking so much.

#everyone's having some fun and a nice break :)#lu in healthcare #writing #told ya all y'all had to do was ask about something and it would poke my muse lol #someone asked about the healthcare au and here we are #not much but I had a good day so I gave the boys a good day #kind of want to go to a water park now #definitely want to go cave exploring with Hyrule #Legend lost again btw

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verbforverb · 1 year

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Eurovision ranking, part two! The set of entries I have stronger opinions about. You will note this post is uh somewhat more verbose than the last.

AGAIN, PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG

Cat2: Your choices are not my choices, but I respect them

Croatia: My initial note on this was "I appreciate that they are trying to make a point which I’m sure will be clearer when I can look up the translation but also this is, sort of, 4 different songs in one, and not in a good way." And I still stand by all of that. Love the energy! Love the mood! Parts of it are even catchy! Unfortunately, do not actually enjoy the experience of listening to this song.

Finland: This has grown on me more than I expected. I still wouldn't say I like it, but I don't mind it as much as I thought I did, the live performance is extremely compelling, and I do at least respect its choices. While I wouldn't seek it out, but it's definitely not forgettable, and I could see myself liking it eventually, maybe. But whichever way it definitely brings a certain something to Eurovision.

Ukraine: I am so close to liking this song. It's got that Bond energy, momentum, lyrically I've certainly heard worse. But the synth is just a bit grating to me still. There are also several parts where I swear it sounds like a Wilhelm scream, extremely distracting.

Israel: On first listen, the hysteria set in somewhere around the first "power of the UNICORN" and did not let up at any subsequent point. What IS the power of the unicorn? The first thing that comes to mind is the power of being an attractive young bi woman who is happy to be a no-strings third in an otherwise straight relationship. For all I know that IS what she means, it certainly adds another element to the song if so. I loathe the attempt to make "femininal" happen like few other things in this competition and resent this song for making me hear it multiple times. Musically it's all over the place, it feels like at least two and maybe three different songs trying to be one thing. And yet. AND YET. It is catchy! Noa Kirel blows the performance out the goddamn water! I guarantee I will not forget about any element of it, not for want of trying! Makes no goddamn sense. Compels me though.

Spain: So I do get the appeal. The layering of the sounds, the repeated lines, the almost sampled-sounding chanting which is a cool effect. Maybe this just needs longer to grow on me. For whatever reason, probably a large part underexposure to the style, I find this hard to listen to. Which is a shame, because it's the most interesting thing Spain has entered in years.

Serbia: I want to like this so bad. I love the aesthetics, the energy, the ridiculous 90s video game synth intro, and I can get behind what it's going for, thematically. Unfortunately I cannot deny the experience of my ears, and I do not like listening to this song. But I very much appreciate its existence!

And finally, Cat1: songs I feel positively about! With an actual ranking!

15 Cyprus: This would have faded into the mush of broadly-forgettable Eurovision ballads for me if it had not been extremely, inescapably reminiscent of Britney Spears' If You Seek Amy. But, like, a lounge version intended for background listening in a fancy restaurant. Once heard, this cannot be unheard, and that definitely gives the whole experience a certain indescribable something, the only reason I've ranked it so high.

14 Romania: Unfortunately there was no way to divorce this song from what I watched in the national final. This is a real shame, because I like this song! It's a jazzy waltz, we never get those, it has drama and range, and the guy can pull it off, vocally! In another universe I could see this making my top 10. Unfortunately, this is the world that we live in, and it contains... that whole situation.

13 Czechia: This was so close to being in the "I don't like it, but I do respect it" category, but you know what? I do sort of like it! The spoken word / chanting is just about on the right side of annoying for me, and you can't deny it is memorable. And you have to have a deranged song about feminism and/or national solidarity from central europe, it's the rule.

12 Poland: LOOK. I am not immune to a thirst trap bop. Is this song and its background as an entry ridiculous in all ways? Yes, absolutely. It's still stuck in my head now and forever. Plus I find the "VISIT POLAND. WE HAVE SWIMMING POOLS AND HOT GIRLS AND... FRUIT" music video extremely funny.

11 Slovenia: I'm not saying this is good. But I am saying a solid chunk of the foundations for my music taste were 00s pop rock, and this is a pitch perfect example. In Slovenian. It's upbeat! It's catchy! It's got a drop! If the lyrics are bad I can't tell! Just a fun time all round.

10 Moldova: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit? God I love a good flute/whistle line. Sometimes you are creeping through the woods towards a giant bonfire circled by sillhouetted dancing shapes, human? more than human, or perhaps just somewhere off to the side? you are unseen yet all-seeing, and you crave the perfect soundtrack to that moment, and you know what? Moldova have you covered.

9 Belgium: This is great fun, it's got those synthy disco vibes, and it's lyrically touching as well. A bit of a dark horse in that it's crept up my rankings every time I've listened to it. It's just a little too one-note - not a unique problem for Eurovision songs, but to me it kinda feels like listening to the same song two or three times in a row.

8 Norway: Sometimes, a song can just be a good bass drop and a fun hook. It's not clever, but it is absolutely a good time. Similar to Belgium, it just doesn't do quite enough to climb higher - feels a bit repetitive - but what it has is very pleasing.

7 Sweden: I do fully enjoy most things about this song. The tune is good, love the synth, Loreen is a fantastic performer and I'm here for any staging which can be described as "surprise! you lift up a paving stone and discover a eurovision performance". There's just one problem, which is that it occasionally falls back on the most godawful rhyming, and then hits it as hard as possible complete with musical emphasis and pauses. Like, first listen, "It will come a - day, when we will find our ..." "don't say way" "WAY". And then by some combination of singing style or mixing choice those rhymes were all I could make out at first, like "mumblemumble PAIN mumblemumble RAIN mumble YOUUU mumble TATTOOO", and, just, infuriating. It's a real shame because I really do like everything else about the song but those bits are so incredibly distracting. The only other note I have is that the repeated "all I care about is love" just makes me think of the song from Chicago, which is a VERY different vibe.

6 Portugal: Love the energy, love the high-tempo cabaret feel, catchy as hell, and god, what a performance! I don't know whether to be impressed, terrified or both. The only place it falls down for me is that it just doesn't lend itself, really, to humming or singing along, because it is SO high energy and high range in every sense. Instead I'm just sort of watching open-mouthed, so the song itself doesn't stick with me the way some of the more conventional entries do. But without doubt a great entry.

5 Australia: First things first: it is incredibly weird to me that I managed to straight up forget these guys existed after listening to their music quite a bit some 8 years ago. I do like them! And this! They have this crisp progmetal sound that really works for me, and you always have to love a keytar. Add to that, I think these guys can pull off a performance, god knows they've been hyping up crowds for long enough. My only complaint aside from the harsh vocals (see also germany - why?? you can do metal without them! they won't take away your hardcore card!!) is that repeatedly asking "have you ever done anything like this before?" completely out of context - and not given more context that I noticed - is one of the most baffling ways they could have chosen to open the song, and mostly makes me want to yell "like WHAT, voyager? anything like WHAT?" But that's a detail.

4 UK: To anyone accusing me of pro-UK bias, I would say that this year and the previous year are the only times in the past decade, or maybe more, I would have ranked us above the bottom 5. I would not go so far as to say this year's entry was worth the wait, or worth having had to know that Teenage Life exists, but I do love it a lot. It's a bop! A minor key bop! It's catchy! It has deranged energy! It's got an inexplicably London spoken word bit that I even think adds to the song! Ranked only on craft, it wouldn't make the top 10, but on sheer enjoyment I have to have it up here.

3 Austria: When we first listened to this, I was making noises about how it was just kind of a meme, while my wife was fully into it, proving that ultimately she is right about all things. This has grown on me so, so much to the point where I love it both as a song and a meme, and we do just occasionally say to each other in the worst attempt at an american accent imaginable, "who the hell is EDGAR?". It's catchy, funny, it has a great synth line and it's about creative control and reward in the music industry! What more could you want? No idea how this will play on stage, but I'm officially a fan.

2 France: Ough. The moment I saw this I said "that's @docholligay bait" and you know what, I don't even care because it's fantastic. The confidence? The voice? The BASS? It's simple, elegant, and it could not possibly be more French if she was holding a baguette and smoking four cigarettes simultaneously. Even the fact that she's Canadian adds to this, because there's somehow something even more French about leaning into it all so hard despite not actually being from France.

1: Germany: You knew it was coming. Germany has hosted the biggest metal festival in the world for over 30 years, and is just now thinking "hmmm, we could send some metal to Eurovision." It was worth waiting for. This is maybe the only time I've ever been pleased Germany will auto qualify, because I do NOT think this will play well with the general public, but I love it.

Brief interlude while I'm a nerd: extremely Nightwish-esque instrumentals - to the extent that I spent the first two listens just trying to figure out which song the instrumental line reminded me of, maybe Bye Bye Beautiful or Storytime? - with the crisp vocals. I don't love the harsh vocal parts, but they're a minor enough part of it that I can deal. Lyrically excellent, love a song about the duality of humanity and the ways people choose who to be and how to act from the same set of parts. There are exactly two songs this year where I still find myself mulling over the words and the other one is a criticism of the music industry through the medium of spiritual possession, so. I didn't even think until @keyofjetwolf put it in her comments that the piano / rhythm playoff mirrors the lyrics, but I like it even more now if possible. One of my first comments was "never thought we'd get metal in eurovision, the guitar solo would take up most of the 3 minutes" and then Lord of the Lost released an extended version with an extra minute-long guitar outro, so I feel especially vindicated. To conclude: hell yes.

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filmfunction16 · 7 months

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Emma- an iconic period drama (10)

Emma, is the fourth novel written by Jane Austen and personally one of my favourite Jane Austen movies, right after Pride and Prejudice. The movie starts with the life of a spoiled rich girl named Emma, and her matchmaking quest. She tries to set up everyone with their so called perfect- pair, and in the process hope she could find her own happiness. But what exactly makes this movie so influential? Aside the fact that it was written by Jane Austen, known for her AMAZING romance novels. It has some of the most poetic and comedic lines I have seen in a period drama! Let's first talk about some of the most poetic moments in the movie. First the most ICONIC scene every!

" If I loved you less, then I might be able to talk about it more" I kid you not the first time I heard this I near fell out of my seat! The simple yet deep meaning to this one line add so much to the move in my opinion. And honestly this scene is so beautiful it keeps me up at night! It such a simple confession, that manages to get his feelings across. The part of this line that really hits me the most, it's the fact that this is something that we can all relate to. Being so in love with somebody, that even talking about it seems so difficult, and we're at a lost for words. The reason this scene means so much to me is because, it real speaks to my romantic side. I remember the first time I watch the movie in the theater, and it came to this scene. I was so moved especially since at the time I was in a situationship. And this was exactly how I felt about the person at the time. You just feel so much for a person that you're not even able to speak about what they mean to you. Another reason I really connected with this movie, especially this scene is how it really discribes my personality. I feel like I'm usually the one that cares more in a relationship. So hearing this really touched my personality and that emotional side to me. While this quote made me realize I was more in love that I should be, it also make me realize that I deserve better.

Now for the comedic part, I absolutely love the comedy in period dramas. They're very subtle yet, but I still feel like the comedy is relevant. I think I mainly find it funny, because it's reminds me that they're still human and we're people like me. Like Mr. Elton, confession scene to Emma. They've just come back from a ball, and Mr. Elton misread the signals and thought that Emma was in love with him. He decides to confess to her and is immediately rejected. What makes this scene especially funny, is Emma's bluntness. Giving that she grew up rich, and is extremely spoiled her reaction to normal stuff is absolutely hilarious. She will make the most out of pocket remarks and will have no hesitation to tell it as it is. Her snide remarks literally carries the movie. When I watching movies specifically comedy's, I always look for this kind of humor. Not one where the jokes are put of there plainly. But ones that the comedy derives from the fact that the characters are taking this situation serious, but we as the audience knows it not that deep. I personally think that Emma did an amazing job at this.

Scene such as Mr. Eltons new wife, stopping her husband from eating all the deserts, and his over reaction to it. To us as the audience it's a silly scene, but to the characters it's really important. Or another good example is Harriet ( Emma's friend), being completely clueless at all times! She falls in love with almost anyone that looks her way. When she was posing for an art piece, drawn by her friend Emma. She thought Mr. Elton was complementing her on her looks and was extremely faltered. Meanwhile, he was really complementing Emma and was telling her that she has a skill for making the ugly things pretty.

Another thing I love this movie is it's pastel like colour pallet. Not only is it easy on the eyes but is aesthetically pleasing. I've always been a fan on these they of colour pallet , because it gives this nostalgic feeling. My mother was always obsessed with that colour scheme, and even my childhood home had the same colour scheme. Which honestly ties to why this movie is so important to me and is one of my favourite moments in media. Growing up, my mother was obsessed that royalty scene. She would always have me and my sister dress up in those extravagant ballgowns and have mini tea parties. So when I was watching this movie, it strangely made me miss that time in my life.

Beyond Nostalgic reasons, I love this movie since it really touches my romantic side. I love the enemies to lovers, that happens between Mr, Knightly and Emma. And even though early on in the movie it's obvious that they are going to end up together it's still nice seeing the development. I also feel like compared to most movies that try to do this troop. Their reasons for hating/disliking each other seemed genuine. I felt like their hate was real and wasn't so forced. Mr. Knightly hated Emma because she was always trying to set people up and was extremely spoiled. Emma hated Mr. Knightly because he was stuck up and cynical. Which is what makes their love story different. Unlike most movies they didn't just accept their flaws and move on. Both characters tried hard to remove those flaws in their personality and work hard to make themselves better people. With or without the possibility of ending up together. Which I feel like that something almost everyone should do. Truly work on themselves with out without the possibility of ending up with who they want. But is doing it for themselves so that their partner can benefit.

To critique I have for this movie is the pacing. The movie is 2 hrs and 4 minutes long. And giving that it's that long because there is more than 1 main character. The actual plot between Mr, Knightly and Emma started off strong in the beginning of the movie, and later switch the focus to Harriet. Than the last 30 minutes of the movie returned back to Emma and Mr. Knightly. Which at that point I always forgot all together about them and their love story but was more interested in the side characters. That awkward pause between their love story made returning to it weird. I feel like they could've continued both romantic plots without interrupting each other and leaving that gap. Because I personally lost interest and when it returned back to them I just wanted to skip ahead to the end to see what happened. Since the development was paused. I think in movies especially period dramas, it's important to not leave gaps like that in the pacing. In most period dramas, there are more than 1 main character and a lot of names and events that are happening. So abandoning one character plot to focus on another can leave the audience confused on what's really happening. But since, the plot of Emma is truly simple, it wasn't hard to come back to their romance.

To conclude, I absolute loved Emma, apart from some pacing issues, I think the film is the second best adaptation of Jane Austen's novels. It still manages to get the comedic part of the novel despite it being written almost 208 years ago! And created some relatable character and iconic lines that I still quote to this day! Emma will probably always remain in my Top Ten favourite moments in media especially when it comes to rom-coms. I rate this movie an 8.5/10. And think that it's a movie that a lot of film makers can learn from not only for it visual settings and placement. But character development, especially when it comes to romance. Having the characters change not to please each other, but to become better people and hoping that the other will notice. To end this blog post we'll end it with the most popular and one of my favourite lines in the movie.

"You must be the best judge of your own happiness." -Emma

xoxo

~ filmfunction

#jane austen #romance #novel #emma movie #movies #reviews #2020 #1815 #perioddramaedit #old #films #cinema #girlblogging #it girl

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campgender · 11 months

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ROY KENT? toxic masculinity-roy fuckin kent? oh hell nah, sorry in advance, this is gonna be long, you just jinxed yourself mentioning that. ;_; whoever said that did NOT watch enough of that boy because his masculinity is beautiful and there's genuinely nothing toxic about it at all. like, we did not watch him suck all his bitchiness up to have a relationship with his girl just for him to get called toxic. not to mention...

FIRST on my list of his display's of butchness: this is Roy "I gave my girlfriend head while she watched a video of me crying my head off" fuckin Kent! Y'all are not gonna pin him for toxic masculinity, c'mon. If that ain't the most butch-ass shit I've ever heard of...

SECOND: I'd put a lot more weight into the suggestion of toxic masculinity if he'd stayed the way he'd been at the beginning of the show but this is a man who grew a fuck-ton even in just the first couple episodes, not to mention throughout the show (which I haven't finished).

He's not a bully, which is surprising for such a hyper-masculine character. Hair as far as the eye can see, with a beard, furry thighs and arms, a low growly voice-But for all his swearing and other foul language, he isn't a bully. He doesn't pretend, he says no, and he sets clear boundaries, but even with children who he has loads of power over, he's very careful to never cross the line into bullying. He jokes, clearly knowing the children, barking orders and playing ball. He has a niece and even though he doesn't understand the book wrinkle in time, he reads it to her and only after getting three quarters through does he go to ted to demand what the fuck its supposed to be about.

THIRD: the way sometimes he looses speech and yet he STILL. FUCKING. COMMUNICATES. beautiful. Which rolls straight into FOUR, which is the way he communicates! He's very clear, very blunt, obviously. But its not just that. Its how as we get to know Roy Kent, more and more, we see how when he gets overwhelmed or annoyed, he often steps back from the situation so that he doesn't blow his temper at someone he likes or someone who doesn't deserve it...which is very, dare I say it? chivalrous! Its not a word you think when you think of roy kent, but he is! He's chivalrous! He isn't quite comfortable around rebecca, think of early season 2, but when he sees she needs it, he tells her she deserves the goddamn world in a partner, not just "fine", and he didn't tell her that because he had to! Keeley would've left it and he could've gotten away with a minimal answer. He told her because she deserved to hear it and he knew that and he's a fucking kind person!

just like that time at the end of season 1 when he and keeley were photographed by that man and he stole the photos and then handed them to keeley and gave the man back his camera. he could've smashed the fuckin camera. he's exactly the type of person to smash the camera! but he didn't. why? because they cost a shit-ton of money and because he wanted keeley to have photos of their first date. ;_; its called CHIVALRY. which. is. BUTCH. AS. FUCK. need i go on?

roy kent's masculinity is beautiful, it's a joy to behold, it's butch as hell, thank you, i hope you don't mind me dropping an essay in your askbox, sorry abt that.

OH SHIT YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED IT. you haven’t seen what they did to my bestie in the finale 😭😭 how they MALIGNED his NAME — if you do watch it come hmu though bc holy shit am i still livid.

anyway. yes to all of this!!!!! especially how he communicates while also losing speech <3333 i get so fucking upset every time someone calls him repressed bc like. he literally isn’t!!! he’s very aware of & in touch with his emotions!!!!!!!!!! what he is is stoic & it’s bc 1) he’s autistic 2) y’all are assholes. like. i feel like fucking crying every time i think about the scene in s1 when he’s just been benched: keeley’s excited but kind of impatient “oh, so you are ready to talk about real stuff now!!” and the way it makes it seem like a bad thing for him to need some time to process. & then her really sarcastic & dismissive response when he says how scared he is of losing what the entire fucking country has made his sole identity:

I think men that feel sorry for themselves are so sexy. And if you start telling me how hard it is that you play a game for a living, I think I might come.

i see fucking red!!!!!!! the show multiple times (including in the finale) belittles his feelings and/or throws away his characterization and then treats that like a #Feminist moment. & like in the previous example, yeah keeley prompts phoebe to say how she sees roy & that’s a sweet moment, but keeley never actually apologizes or says how she sees or thinks of roy outside of sex.

& then in s3 honestly his apology letter to her made me feel ill. like there’s a difference between owning your shit — which i do think she deserved an apology for him breaking up with her out of nowhere — and saying everything is your fault. that’s not growth, that’s still self-hatred. and like i understand keeley was going through a lot but i don’t think it was fair to him for him to confess his love & her fuck him while like. presumably knowing she doesn’t want to get back together.

i’m also so fucking livid about the show comparing roy and FUCKING RUPERT????? in that scene, again for some sort of shallow #GirlBoss moment. fuck that fuck the writers fuck like most of the fan attitudes i’ve seen.

also the way the “roy is sorry for not understanding keeley” scene is played — yeah, he should’ve communicated better, but she just started yelling at him out of nowhere & revealed she’d been complaining about him being clingy to all their colleagues. and she never apologizes for not talking to him sooner & her bottling her feelings until she exploded at him???? instead he apologizes for doing….. something she’d never told him she had a problem with.

i’m working on a fic about this aspect but the show has no fucking sympathy for his becoming disabled and it’s so transparent. obviously ted lasso in general is really bad at acknowledging systemic issues — “just be a goodfish!!” :))) — it’s a liberal show & you should overcome adversity by individual work ie therapy & forgiving your oppressors. but like there’s literally no acknowledgment after that scene when he gets shut down by keeley in s1 of how ableism affects roy’s self-image.

as a disabled person whose mobility impairment started with a knee issue in sports, i also think the show did a fucking shit job with his disability in general. like they played it for a laugh — you might not have watched 3x11 yet so feel free to skip this paragraph but “i played injured all the time / you can’t go up stairs!!” followed by jamie still playing injured to, what, make a point about forgiveness?? shows how fucking seriously they took that, and roy was walking up stairs earlier in that very episode.

similarly, “everybody run to the bus… except roy!” earlier in s3 was an emotional moment for me bc like oh they’re acknowledging how this affects his life!! …..and then they showed him running (on pavement!!!) with jamie all the fucking time. like sure not every knee issue is the same as mine, okay, whatever, but either be consistent or throw in a line about him having a good day today or something. jesus fucking christ it’s so ableist & careless & disrespectful.

anyway my hot take is that as they’re written, keeley & roy shouldn’t be together not because, as brenden fucking hunt put it, “he has work he needs to do on himself first,” but because she doesn’t respect him & fundamentally you can’t make compromises with people who think how you are is wrong.

i do really like keeley especially in s1, i think a lot of this is fuck-ups on the writers’ parts that keeley were she a real person either wouldn’t have done or would’ve apologized for. but as it’s written? fucking yikes.

anyway that got really off track from your thoughts lol but i absolutely adored reading this, it was a delight & i would love to hear more any time 💓💓💓

#asks #roy kent #ted lasso tv

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