#the way you articulate their VIBES their Faces with such . intention

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I know it would probably bring a lot of hate comments but I am begging you to roast the hazbin character designs because I'd love to have someone properly articulate why they don't work so I could send it to people who won't believe me when I tell them. 🫠 Understandable if you don't want to get into it though.

I don't think there's that much there to roast, honestly?

Those designs are clearly an extremely specific stylistic choice, and because that style is consistent throughout the show, it ultimately feels coherent with itself.

There are trade-offs being made. Because Hazbin's design style is SO stylized and so heavy on decoration and detailing, because it puts a lot of emphasis on costuming, it isn't as good at communicating specific character storytelling as a more grounded style could be (it's kind of the same tradeoff that stuff like Genshin Impact makes).

Like, why does Sir Pentious' hat have an eye and a mouth on it that makes its own expressions? Apparently not for very much reason at all, except that Pentious has a bit of an eyes-motif going on in his design and it was one more place to put an extra eye. And that's a valid criticism of his design, but also the entire show is designed like that, so frankly it would be weirder and more out of place if his design alone didn't have that kind of overelaborate decoration going on.

It does create a situation where I have a hard time "reading" the character designs sometimes. For example, Vox, Alastor and Pentious all wear a similar style of suit with upwards-turned shoulders, butterflies and pinstripes. Now, am I meant to read that as Vox imitating Alastor due to his crippling need to replace and outdo him, and Pentious imitating the style of powerful Overlords because he thinks that possessing their level of power will finally give him relief from his paranoia and self-loathing?

Or is it just a design fixation of the creator who keeps putting their characters in suits because that's just what they like? I can't really be sure, because sometimes design elements are used to intentionally tell stories about how characters relate to themselves, their world and one another, but plenty of other times designs look the way they do Because Of Vibes.

But again, that lack of clarity is clearly an intentional trade-off - and the benefit of that trade-off is a design style that is extremely varied, wild, expressive and memorable. Hazbin Hotel seems like a very easy show to draw fanart of, and a very fun show to draw fanart of. Those designs (especially the hyper-expressive faces) are begging to be the subjects of traumatic headcanons, unbearably cotton-candy soft fluff fantasies and weird, taboo, homoerotic power dynamics. Slaps roof of character design, this bad boy can express so much vicarious emotional intensity.

It's very exuberant, very excited about itself and very self-indulgent, it's a style that prioritizes visual impact and visual interest over readability (something which the animators of the show navigate with real skill, props to them) and individual aesthetics over worldbuilding.

And I don't blame anyone for being turned off by that (I certainly was the first time I started seeing those designs going around), but I would struggle to call the show's designs "bad" when they are clearly achieving exactly what they want to achieve.

I have some criticisms, especially re: how the show treats skinny bodies as an unquestioned, desirable default, and employs fatness as a means of alienating and abjecting the audience. That sucks very badly, and is a serious disappointment, and one of the few places where the show feels like it is being cowardly in its design philosophy. But I don't have it in me to do some kind of Hazbin Hotel Sucks And Here's Why takedown, its problems are not unique or extreme enough to warrant it, at least not as I currently understand them.

#tb answers #hazbin hotel #character design

[lumizwrld]

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 🂺

"𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙜𝙪𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨."

➢ ¡Switch! Ryohei Arisu ♥︎ Black Fem Reader

☕︎ word count ・4.0k

(no cuz there's barely any smuts of him, so I gotta be the one to make some because he's so fine and nobody wanna give him love fr)

⚠︎NSFW WARNING⚠︎

cw ✐ intoxication, shy Arisu taking control of you, fingering, dick sucking, missionary, deprived reader and Arisu, submissive and dominant Arisu, whimpering, dirty talking, riding, overstimulation, teasing, nearly caught, sex in a hot tub, drunk sex

✍︎ Summary = Arisu and you had accompanied a blowout party right before Hatter's death and the 10 of Hearts game, he proposed you both ease and take some time into partying away the night, sipping your desperations away, and soon after you both ending up in a hot tub together. During your time, you both don't speak until the silence is broken, all these emotions end up being confessed, and soon after you find yourself on top of him, confessing a love of desire for each other. ✧

✄ This is literally my first ever smut LMAO but I've spent months trying to articulate this shit and IT'S FINALLY FINISHED. ♡ Sending much love to all who read this and like it #yallfrthebest♡

Tranquility, the littlest ripple of water or even taking the slightest breath would disturb the moment of solitude between Arisu and you.

The pool deserted hours ago, leaving nothing but clutter and the two of you intoxicated. Unwinding in a hot tub, out of sight from the Beach. Nothing but emptiness appeared to run across your minds, speaking not a single word to each other in the past hour but rather the language of eye contact.

How deliberately his eyes had wandered on your frame, tilting his head with parted lips as his arms folded. He kept wondering what ran through your dazed mind, minding the fact of how lethargic you occurred to him. Your inanimate body sat in the same position for the past hour, eyes lost in the waves of the water while running your fingers through the tangles in your hair. Seemingly, at this moment, he had gazed intensely at your beauty, gradually scrutinizing every subtle part of you. He didn't comprehend why he felt so fond of you in this very moment, nor did he comprehend why his body began to erupt with ardor, nonetheless, he just felt so guilty to think of you in such a way. But how was it that this wasn't the first time he had thought of you like this before? How tensive the yearning of attaining a slight touch on your body besides your hands seemed like a wish come true to him, to feel the weight of your body rest on his lap, caressing your hips while you reflected down on him so passionately. Well, even the innocent-looking guys appear to have the heaviest thoughts.

Regardless, Arisu was way too shy of a guy to express any of that to you, considering how close you both were. So there he sat, withering in a lustful pool of desirable intentions of you, rewinding themselves in a constant motion. Curiouser and curiouser he thought, how would you feel if he were to make a slight move on you? What type of feelings did you have for him? Did your feelings fall in unison with his? He sighed, catching your attention accidentally.

“You tired Arisu?” You questioned, a small grin appearing on your face.

“Kind of.” He grinned in unison, “Are you?”

“Yeah, but I like it out here.” You responded, “It's peaceful, but it's been quiet for too long. How about we break the silence, do you know how long has it been since one of us has said anything?”

He chuckled, “I can’t even remember, but break the silence huh? In that case, how do you like it here?” He questioned, resting his elbow on the rim behind him.

“It's a vibe, most of the time. Then again it beats me how after the games everyone can just go back to normal and party as if nothing happened. Somethings up about this place but I can't seem to put my finger on it.” You claimed, embracing the sides of your body as you averted your eyes toward the water and then back to him, “What about you?”

“Yeah, it's the same for me.”

“It's so crazy, I still can't believe you're an executive, it shows how special you are Arisu.” You grinned.

“Heh, special? They only need me for the games, I'm not that important. Why do you think that?” He questioned, tilting his head curiously.

“You're able to figure a game out and win no matter the difficulty, I mean...I'm pretty good at solving games but I tend to have a bit of trouble.” You asserted, watching him smile softly.

“Hey! You're just as smart! Your confidence is what makes you special. Y'know sometimes I can be confident, well- barely most of the time. But with your confidence and how you get right into the game without needing help, it seems as if you don't even need me. Now that's something, I would say, special about you Y/N.” He conversed, slouching forward to you.

You giggled, “Thanks. Honestly, without you, I don't know where I would be.”

“Anytime. I can say the same for you Y/N.” He giggled in unison, gazing at you. “Hey...What are your thoughts right now? I know it's a bit off-topic but I wanna know what goes through your mind?” He uttered in curiosity.

“Well, nothing right now besides the next game.” You responded.

“There has to be something you're thinking about...I-I mean It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it I understand, but we can never just talk and have serious conversations that much, I wanna take this time to understand you more.” He expressed.

“Understand me more? That's so adorable of you to say. I...I really--Well, actually there is something.” You articulated as his eyes glistened, “Recently, I've been having these emotions...About someone. It's not that important but, I wonder what they feel about me.”

“S-Somone?”

“Yeah. I don't know...I’ve been feeling so heavy with keeping this building up inside me.”

He had maintained his breath, wondering, was this feeling towards him? Did she...finally find someone else? Who was this person, and what did she see in them? He brushed his chin, “Can you tell me about them?”

“Well, he’s a nice guy, but that's all I can say.” You grinned.

“Oh…I-I don’t know what to say I-" He stammered, "Do you have an emotional connection with him? How does he treat you? Has he ever made it evident on how he feels toward you?” He questioned, evidently uninterested yet uncomfortable to admit.

“Well, he never admitted it, he preferably holds in his feelings someway like me. However, I can tell he sees something in me…I-I might be wrong but…” You expressed, reflecting your gaze into his. However, he sat there so oblivious. Slowly averting his eyes from yours, he could feel nerves run down his spine as he observed you gradually swimming towards him, “He has to confirm it to me, otherwise, there's nothing else I can say about him.”

“T-Then you're gonna have to speak to him about it...” Arisu stumbled with dilated eyes, “Y/N, w-what are you doing?”

You tilted your head at him, relaxing your hands on his thighs, “Nothing, it's just funny how clueless you can be sometimes.”

“W-What do you mean? Clueless? Me?” He stuttered.

“Arisu, I love how innocent you are,” You emitted, softly giggling as a faint gasp fled his mouth. “You have something, that I never knew I could be so tempted to before. You think I don't know how you feel about me, yet...I see it all over your face.”

“I...I don't understand what you m-mean.” He stuttered as you watched his pale complexion shift.

“I hope you don't find it weird of me but, I hear you every night. Sweat runs down your face as you whine and groan in your sleep. I don't want to be weird but, I tend to observe you once in a while. There have been times I heard my name fly out of your mouth in a way that...Made me feel things at night. I see the way you are with me, that's why I have to be the one to initiate things. You’re so shy yet...You’re so bold with yourself that, you show it to me without even noticing that you're doing it.” You spoke softly, watching his eyes roam all over your face.

“Is…That bad?” He doubted, choking up with surprise.

“It’s adorable, really.”

“I…I-"

“Why are you nervous? Is it because I finally called you out on it?” You giggled as you slowly crept closer to his face.

“Y/N...I-I don’t know what to say I-” He spoke with chuckles in between, concealing his agitated state.

“Confirm it. Confirm those thoughts you have of me, Arisu.” You urged, lust sparkling in your eyes. “Why is that, you being so shy right now is making me feel so needy.” You expressed with your lips scarcely touching his.

“N-Needy? I'm making you needy?” He asked, embracing your arms tightly.

“Is that bad?” You reverted, watching him resist the urge to kiss you.

“N-No! I-I just didn't expect you to be so turned on right now...Y-You didn't have to call me out like that you know? For a second, I-I thought you were talking about someone else.” He doubted.

“I don't know. Maybe I was, maybe I was talking about-” You teased, sensing his hands bind your waist profoundly and arrange you on his lap roughly. “Who? Don't play around now” He asserted, evidently more confident than before, “You can't just take back what you said now can you?”

“Arisu-”

“What's wrong? You can tease me but I can't?” He uttered mischievously, releasing your waist and repositioning his hands on your wrists. “I don't think it would be fair now, would it?”

You deeply sighed, abruptly sensing the pounding of your heart. Surprisingly, he had reverted your energy. You didn't acknowledge how turned on you made him, scrutinizing his eyes satisfy themselves with lust as his breathing heightened. “What are you doing Arisu?” You contested, knowing his intentions with a grin.

“What you want me to do, confirm my feelings to you.” He whispered, seizing a kiss from your lips. He hauled your wrists to his neck, signaling you to grasp him as his hands went about on your waist. His words were assertive, yet, his kisses were subtle and deprived. You felt so vulnerable, sensing his trailing hands up your back towards the string of your bikini top.

“You say I'm bold? Then, let me express these feelings I have for you.” He pleaded, trailing his roaming hands down to your thighs gradually. “Let me show it by pleasing that deprived pussy of yours.”

“I-Arisu-” You whimpered, racing your fingers through the back of his hair.

“Was I too forward? Heh, I'm sorry about that. Do you want me to beg? How about I just beg- let me touch you, let me please.”

“I…I-" You choked, averting your eyes back and forth from his hands to his face.

“Please Y/N…I’ll do anything for you.”

You felt appalled, your pumping heart racing to a burst as you desired to risk it all for him. It was all your fault, teasing him was amusing until he revealed to be so deprived. Apparently, you adored every extent of his pleading.

“I was only teasing, I-I didn't mean to make you so-”

“Turned on? Horny? Eager to fuck you? Awe, but this is what you wanted Y/N.” He pleaded, reaching his face toward your neck “You say it's all over my face but...Your beautiful face says it all as well." He teased, darting his eyes at your adorable flustered face.

“Fuck.” You whined.

He delivered a giggle, fondling your inner thigh. “I know how shy I can be but, you made me think things through with myself and...” He spoke before, drawing aside your bathing suit and gliding his fingers into the folds of your pussy, “At this moment, I'm permitting myself to be confident with you.” You bounded your arms around his neck, feeling his fingers explore your pussy as he kept his eyes on you. Circling your clit gradually, he watched your body squirm slightly, making himself comfortable when he discovered the right spot to attend to.

“Ari-Arisu!" You gasped as his lips seized your neck, leaving kisses and subtle bites all over to overstimulate you. Your breathing became erratic, uncomprehending on whether to respire or moan. However, he carried support with which to focus, picking the momentum up when he caught your struggling state of fixation.

“Awe- keep saying my name beautiful. Your cries, the way how your body responds to my fingers, it's showing me how much you're enjoying this.”

“Stop being so cocky- fuck- please” You whined, bucking your hips as his free hand groped your tender breasts.

“Yeah? But your loving every moment hani, swaying your hips to the rhythm as you make beautiful songs along the lines? If only you could see how gorgeous you look right now Y/N.” He teased as he grasped your chin, seizing another kiss that forced you to moan in his mouth.

(Hani ~ Honey) inspo goes to @usetheeauthor

You could feel his fingers reposition themselves, his thumb this time circling your clit as two fingers began to entreat the entrance of your hymen. At this point, you had given up, permitting himself to stick his fingers all the way inside your needy pussy. His rough fingers, fucking your insides, making you toss your head back, whining his name as he reached closer to watch your reaction, “Yes Mommy, you like that huh? Fucking you like this with my fingers?” Arisu questioned with pleading eyes.

“Mommy?- Fuck- You are enjoying this aren't you-” You moaned in between your words, observing his innocent smile which made you smile in unison. You felt like such a slut at the moment, giggling intently while moaning for him to fuck you faster.

“Is making me feel like a slut turning you on? Is watching me ride your fingers like this while you sit there, make you throb?” You teased, watching his eyes dilate in shock. “You don't think I can’t see how badly you want to touch it?” You giggled.

His head was thrown back by your words, stopping the pace which allowed you to pose next to him. Squeezing your warm body next to his, wrapping your leg around his as your arm wrapped around his head, forcing him to look at you as you slowly trailed your fingers down his chest. This was all a little trap. “I see right through you, catching at all that confidence exposed like that, how I loved every bit of it. However,” You spoke, sensing his heart race, “You will always be a shy guy to me, and I tend to have a weakness for guys who-” You spoke whilst caressing his hardened bulge, “are so shy to even let a word form out of their mouths, Arisu.” You asserted.

“Hah-” He whimpered, with worried eyes and quivering lips as you kissed his cheek.

“You taking control yet, trembling immediately is so hot to me Arisu.” You whispered, reaching your way into his shorts.

“R-Really?” He trembled.

“Oh but yes puppy, so hot to where...I was desiring to fuck you so badly, letting your cum drip out of my pussy."

“Y-Y/N fuck-” He whined, sensing your hands grasp the tip of his dick.

“Yeah, just imagine, my pussy fucking you like this.” You insisted, stroking the tip.

Arisu jerked up instantly, huffing out a moan to the sensitivity while all you could do was giggle and stroke him faster. His tensive body rapidly reacting to your strokes made you torture him even more, whispering lustful lullabies as he could do nothing but whine for help.

“F-Fuck mommy, please don't focus on the tip s-so m-much.” He begged, shoving his head into your shoulder as you fondled faster, hearing his whines all in your ear.

“Awe, but baby you're enjoying this though. I bet if I keep going, keeping all my attention on your tip just like this might make you cum like a good boy huh?”

“Yeah?” He moaned, “You wanna make me cum Mommy?” He moaned again, tossing his head back as you compelled a kiss on his lips. Keeping a fast pace, his face was as red as a rose. Watching him catch his breath as he could feel his essence grow nearer, you could only imagine how hot he would sound when he cums. How could only a little tease from you, end up at this point? How was it that, you both went from sitting across each other with no communication to him begging, whining to cum for you? He wrapped his arm around your waist, signifying how close he seemed to be.

He exhaled deeply, “W-Why am I starting to feel it-”

Your eyes glistened, just hearing those words made you focus even more on his tip. Gradually edging him then giving him a ruined orgasm was your plan, like just imagine, his cum spewing all over your hands as he begged for more, whining to fuck your pretty body and treat you like the fucking slut you were…However, he grasped your hand and stroked it himself at a rapid pace.

“A-Arisu?” You questioned as he attained a kiss, feeling your body maneuver slowly closer to him.

“I-I don't wanna cum y-yet.” He stammered, quitting his strokes. It seemed to be all a blur because, you didn’t imagine yourself looking up at his pretty face while his dick stood tall in yours. You were stunned, feeling your body shiver and your cheeks flush up with warmth. Abruptly how close his dick was towards your lips, you didn’t even expect him to be big since he was skinny compared to you. Sweat was rushing down his face as he caught his breath, looking downward at you so innocently while you slowly grasped him, lips parting until he gently grasped your hair, pushing you closer to the tip.

“Is this what you want?” You spoke whilst subtly leaving kisses.

“Y-You don’t have to…” He stammered.

“You want me to though, you wouldn’t be holding my hair up like that unless you wanted me to-” You spoke, suckling gently.

You watched him struggle to pull the bottom hems of his shirt up, munching down vigorously as your hand trailed up his stomach.

“You’re gonna have to use your big boy words, tell me you want me to-” You teased, licking him as he groaned in his shirt.

“M-Make me cum in your mouth Mommy.“ He whined indistinctly, surveying you to consume him slowly as his eyes rolled back in pleasure. You sensed how hard he was inside your mouth, tasting his surging pre-cum as well as how nervous he seemed to be in this situation. His straining body, veiny hands tightening on the grip of your hair as you mouth fucked his dick sloppily, you knew for a fact he couldn’t think straight at all. You had made full eye contact with him, however, he couldn’t force himself to stop tossing his head backwards from all the pleasure you were tending him, it made you smile because you knew that if he were to keep his pretty eyes on you, this session would last for only a minute utmost.

“Look at me Arisu-“ You demanded, trailing your tongue on his shaft.

“I-I’m trying hani-" He whined, breathing heavily in between words.

“I'm sorry, I got carried away. I just want you to last a little longer okay?-“ You pleaded, suckling the tip again.

“You doing anything will make me cum quicker Mommy.” He whined, “B-But if you want me to last,” He indulged, positioning his hands on your jaw, signaling you to stand up, “Don't put all your attention on me please, I don't want you to sit there unsatisfied.”

“H-Huh?” You startled, feeling his hands grasp yours and then drag you to the rim.

“C-Can you sit on the rim for me?” He questioned, watching you sit for him.

“Arisu? What are you doing?” You questioned as he grasped your thighs gently, spreading them apart and pulling you close to his hips.

“I've never expected this to happen,” He uttered, grasping his dick and slowly entreating the lips of your pussy, “Watching you while you're in pleasure...I-It does something to me Y/N...”

“Arisu-” You moaned, locking your legs around him, “Tell me what you want- don't be nervous please.”

“Let me f-fuck you please, listening to your pretty moans knowing they're from me, watching your pretty face make those expressions that I-I-”

“Love? Then, don't tremble to puppy.” You uttered, feeling his free hand grasp the back of your neck, forcing your upper body closer to his, “I want all of you, give it to me…Ryohei.” You begged.

You watched him throw his head back. It was something that had set him off, your pretty voice begging for him to enter you and the way how you cried out his name. Regardless, you couldn't waste any time, feeling so needy that you penetrated yourself with him. Hearing him moan in unison with you as your eyes averted directly at each other. He whimpered, slowly thrusting himself. How sensitive he became inside your soaking pussy, gripping your neck tighter as you begged him to fuck you profoundly. He completely submitted to you. You couldn't focus on anything in this moment, not even his face, you tried to block out his moans but he pushed you further into a breaking point where you couldn't do anything but respond vigorously, surrounding your arm around his neck, bringing him closer into a sloppy kiss while singing in each other's mouths, increasing his pace inside you.

“S-So aggressive-” You panted, “Keep going my love.” You panted again as you brushed his damp hair away from his beautiful face, wanting to see him in action.

“I wanna see your pretty eyes while you fuck me like this.” You begged, biting your lip as he grasped your neck gently.

“Yeah-Keep talking like that Hani, I love it when you fucking tease me.” He whimpered, struggling to catching his breath, “M-Mommy s-stop squeezing me l-like that.” He whimpered once more, elongating a fuck from his mouth as you marked his neck.

“W-Why? Are you starting to feel it? I'm sorry it's not my fault your s-starting to make me--” You whined, sensing his twitching body strain from exhilaration.

He groaned, pulling you closer, almost picking you up off the rim. “Do it on me please, I want you to please Hani.”

He soon begged you to stretch out your legs for him, arranging his arms to your sides as he slowly thrusted deeper inside you. Watching his face strain with every stroke as you couldn't take the pressure, gradually playing your clit in front of him.

“Oh fuck- l-let me do it, let me do it for you Mommy please.” He begged, shoving your fingers away as his thumb was thrown on your clit, circling you in rhythm with his strokes.

“Ryohei--you're so desperate.” You moaned in anticipation, “S-Stop- I'm starting to feel it--” You stammered, however, he responded with a kiss.

“Do it all over me please hani, be comfortable with me please.” He huffed, pulling away but resting his forehead on yours while gazing into your eyes. “F-F-Fuck-” He exclaimed, “I'm starting to feel it too-”

“Keep going my love, drain yourself into me please, you're doing so good. I want you to give me all of you please puppy.” You begged, seizing your sporadic breaths out your mouth as his tongue instinctively entered.

“Y-You want me to c-cum inside you momma?” He pleaded, sensing an abrupt warmth about to surge out of him. “M-Mommy- I...I feel...it...Y/N.” He whimpered.

“Yeah? You feel it Ryohei?”

“Yeah- I-I feel it Mommy I feel it-”

“Then cum inside me Daddy, please.”

“Ohh fuck- M-Mommy I'm gonna cum I'm gonna-”

“Y/N...I...I love y-”

....

For a second, you thought you had seen things. (That's when you knew, he had fucked your brains out completely.) A beam of light had flickered on his face. As he kissed you again, you kept your eyes open, and that's when it happened again. To make sure you were correct, you turned around to see a flashlight in the far distance...

That's when you shoved him away from you.

What, the absolute, fuck...

“Who the hell is still out here?” A voice spoke, flashing his light on Arisu's face, he covered his eyes from the high beam while you quickly shoved his shaft back into his pants, fixing yourself up afterwards and pretending as if nothing happened. The guy soon flashed his light on you but you couldn't make out who it was until he laughed.

That's when you realized.....

“I would never expected a fuck fest to happen out here now.” The voice spoke, you quickly presided your eyes at Arisu, watching his eyes widen with shock.

“No...N-Niragi?” He stumbled.

Niragi soon made himself visible. He watched you both stand there like complete idiots while he obnoxiously laughed, “What could you both possibly be doing eh? You virgins need to go the fuck to--wait--” He hesitated, taking another look at you both once more.

“What?” You spoke, watching his jaw drop.

“No--No--NO--I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE IT-ARISU-YOU-FUCKED-HER?” He exclaimed as Arisu had glanced at you innocently, “NOW I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD HANDLE A WOMAN WITH CURVES.” Niragi exclaimed again.

“Cut the bullshit we weren't doing anything.” Arisu claimed, leading you out the hot tub.

You watched Niragi walk over, scanning you both down as he took a slight whiff, “Bullshit? Oh but I smell nothing but sweat and sex. It’s all over your faces.”

“Don’t go near her.” Arisu claimed, pulling you closer to him as Niragi looked downwards at you with a snarky grin.

“Y/N, tell me, how good was his fucking eh? I don’t know what you see in his loser ass, but I bet if I had my way with you, you wouldn't be standing here so pretty.” He commented, laughing as Arisu stood in front of you.

“She wouldn't go near you at all, what makes you think you can say that bullshit huh? We were just leaving.” Arisu snapped, grasping your hand generously.

“Arisu, oh Arisu, the only thing that was leaving was that cum you've been saving for how long now? Watch yourself, don't make it a habit of fucking in public, unless I'm in it.” He laughed, winking at you then soon after glaring down at Arisu.

“C’mon Arisu, lets go inside now.” You insisted, hauling him away from Niragi.

“Hmph, are you okay?” He questioned.

“Yeah I'm alright. I am so sorry for what I am about to say but--Niragi ate you up with that comeback.” You spoke, covering your mouth as his eyes averted to your face.

“WHAT?”

“I'm sorry!” you giggled, watching his serious face break down into a light grin.

“Because it's you, I'll let it pass. Your mean.” He uttered, lightly pushing you away before grasping you and pulling you in close, “He could've at least waited, I don't feel it anymore...”

“Oh? So what I'm hearing is, your desperate and you still wanna cum huh?”

“NO I-I”

“I'm playing! Sorta.” You giggled, watching his face fluster.

“H-How was I anyways, I feel like I didn't do good enough.” He doubted

“Oh puppy, you were spectacular. However, I still wanna finish you off.” You uttered.

“F-Finish me off?”

“You thought cumming inside me was gonna be it? Oh love, you will always remember how good we fucked, even when I'm not there, I want you to throb every time you think about it.....”

#alice in boderland x reader #aib arisu #arisu ryohei #aib x reader #imawa no kuni no arisu #aib s1 #lumizwrld #alice in borderland #aib smut #smut #arisu alice in borderland #arisu x y/n #arisu smut #aib x you #hornyposting #kento yamazaki #arisu x reader #ryohei arisu #jeong jin man

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Trying to start a giant-ass meta on why I ship Mycroft/Albert and what there is to see of it and right off the bat I'm like...I want people to look at every single panel of their interactions.

No, it's not Sherliam levels. And BIG OLD DISCLAIMER: very little of what I'm going to present here is like "We were clearly intended to read it this way." I'll always argue that Sherliam is meant to be romantic: it hits so many well-established notes and tropes it's almost impossible to think otherwise. MycAl is a bit different. I do think it's definitely like...we're welcome and even invited to see it. But a LOT of my shipping it comes from the way I personally read and interpret things. So this is about explaining what I'm seeing that makes me ship it, rather than trying to be like "This is canon and you should agree with me." Anyway, for reference, I'll be using the official translation as far as it goes and then swapping to teawaffles' wonderful translation for the rest!

So...like right off the bat throughout the entirety of their Chapter 4 interactions their body language and expressions and ways of talking are so flirty? (Also, I still find it funny that in the manga Mycroft is introduced before Sherlock and thus Mycal is introduced before Sherliam. Older bros first lol.)

Maybe it's just that 2 decades on the internet have skewed me towards reading suggestiveness into everything, but the way Mycroft addresses Albert feels so flirtatious even if he's literally just being normal. "And what would an Indian Army official such as yourself want from an intelligence official such as myself this late in the evening?" Like...am I crazy? Does that not kinda sound like a porn intro? 😂 (This could also be Sherliam Side-effects. The way they call each other Professor and Detective in That One Scene is like...almost undeniably foreplay. Now every time anyone calls each other by title/profession/rank is this series I assume they're hitting on each other.)

But also Albert is just so...handsy throughout that scene. He's touching Mycroft's knickknacks, and just sort of limp-wristing all over the place. And I mean, I think that's just one of Albert's public-facing personas (customer service peeps, you know what's up) but it definitely lends itself to the existence of Vibes.

Anyway, there's this parallel of "You have my attention. What do you want?" that I think is kinda neat. (But look how comparatively sad Mycroft looks in the second version!!!)

Chapter 4:

Chapter 23:

Btw, in Scandal in the British Empire...why does Mycroft introduce himself to the Queen? Never mind, not why we're here. Again, my weird innuendo sensors perk up in Chapter 17 at "I did not drag you out of bed this early for nothing." Maybe it's because my perception of Victorian niceties, whether it's factual or not, is that there was this sense of avoiding talk of physical realities. We don't speak of pregnancy, we speak of "her condition" and "confinement." We don't "go to bed," we "retire." And so on. So conversely, it feels almost suggestive to even acknowledge that someone was in bed. In whatever state of undress the might imply. *Kellen Goff Sasaki voice:* OOOH how sCanDaLOus. (Mind you I DON'T believe there is anything of authorial intent in this, again, just trying to explain the factors that make me read things a certain way.)

The little mind games: Albert immediately recognizing that he's being tested, and Mycroft well aware that something is off, that he and Albert are using each other to their own ends. All juicy ship ingredients.

Then there's this...I can't articulate why it's important. But it is. Something about mouths and thoughts. If I wasn't terribly lazy, I'd go digging for examples in various manga series and I have a pretty firm suspicion that I could prove that, often, Mouth-Focus Thinking Panel + Name = Ship.

Jumping forward to the start of The Riot in New Scotland Yard (Chapter 29), Mycroft's demeanour has really changed. During the meeting at the British Museum he's radiating "I'm not angry I'm just disappointed" energy. He's tense, he's not sure if the Moriartys are enemies and when he understands their plan he seems understandably sad about it even as he accepts it. But now, he's radiating an almost Sherlock-like excitement. He's just gotten to see a miniature version of The Plan in action during the Jack the Ripper case, and it worked. He says he's just visiting Albert as an acquaintance (read: friend in Mycroftian), and that's what it feels like. They're chummy. It's cute. Also Albert teasing Mycroft over his squabbles with Sherlock when he leaves? When did Albert find out about that, hmm? (I mean, could be spying of course. But I like to think it just suggests they've talked more than we've seen.)

Annnnnd....cutting this part off here because I'm bored of it for now and it's long. I'll do the rest when the mood strikes. 😂

#yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot #mycal #alcroft #meta or something #been a while since i've done one of these 'not meta so much as just a disorganized stream of consciousness' long-posts lol

[ignitesthestxrs]

assassin's apprentice by robin hobb (review? thoughts?? experience???)

Sometimes you read a book and are reminded of all the reasons you loved a genre when you were a teenager.

I love an unfolding - a book that is character-focused, but considers a character's place in the world to be a part of that. We learn about the world we're in, the magic and the social structure and the political situation, from the way these things relate to Fitz, and the way Fitz relates to them.

Magic (the Wit) is tucked naturally into the narrative voice, because to Fitz, it is natural - like thinking, like breathing. Any terms he uses relating to it (repelling, questing) are presented like they're terms he came up with himself, rather than a Magic System or Special Abilities - not that I don't also love a magic system, but it can be grating at times, to be asked to memorise the rules of a game before you get to play. Hobb plants Fitz firmly in the middle of his own experience, and the reader there with him.

Any additional information is provided by the voice of an older Fitz, writing the openings of each chapter with both the knowledge of hindsight, and the withholding of that knowledge. We get enough detail to elaborate, without infodumping. The world is allowed to be bigger than young Fitz's experience of it, while still being firmly rooted in the character. The reader grows as Fitz does, and there are enough hooks of interest - Fitz's parentage, the introduction of new characters and new dilemmas, the steadily growing threat that is being a royal bastard - that I'm inclined to let the book take its time winding through the plot. The point is Fitz - we're interested in what's happening, because it's happening to him.

Reading a book written in the 90s in 2023 is a weird kind of time-travel. We can put the book in the context of its contemporaries, and we also have a lot more information about the series (serieses?) that contain it, and the perspective of the author. Was the queer reading of the Wit as slap-in-the-face obvious in 1995 as it is today? I was 3 years old, I couldn't say. Reading it now, it seems obvious, even intentional - but that same Additional Context means that we also have the authorial protests to the contrary. I came to the series curious about this disparity between author and audience - having seen enough excerpts from the books (this one and later entries in the series) to slowly drive me insane (as an outsider!), it was clear that fandom was picking up on some kind of vibe from the text, but also, fandom is fandom. We love a ship.

The thing that struck me about this first book is that the queer reading exists outside of the Fitz/Fool dynamic. I'm aware that this dynamic uh, intensifies in later books, but in this first entry in the series, the queerness comes directly from Fitz alone. A young boy who connects with the world in a way he can't articulate to other people, who gets clocked by someone who knows what his Difference looks like, whose foundational experience with even this small-circle outing is traumatic and horrifying and is not made any less so by the fact that it was done out of an urge to 'protect' him. His Difference, textually, on the page, makes him less of a man, is comparable to bestiality.

Beyond all of that, the thing I found most resonant is the obvious love between Fitz and Burrich, his guardian-figure who wants him to suppress his affinity for the Wit. This particular heartbreak is a familiar queer experience, and the book doesn't pull its punches - again and again and again, Fitz seeks welcome, comfort, safety, acceptance from Burrich, even after (he believes) having unspeakable violence inflicted upon him as a direct result of his 'otherness'. Burrich is clearly shown to love, care for, and protect Fitz - but he cannot get over his fear and disgust of the Wit. He loves Fitz in spite of, not as well as, this difference. There are distinct moments in the book where it seems as though Burrich might be able to see things from Fitz's experience, might be ready to accept Fitz as he is - but he can't.

This experience of being loved as though your difference is something distinct from your person, like it can be excised from you and set aside, is one of the quiet devastations of being queer. The 'hate the sin not the sinner' version of tolerance, articulated via fantasy metaphor. Burrich is horrified to realise that Fitz thought he was capable of killing an animal because of his disgust, only understanding after many years that the kind of fear and digust he has exhibited towards the Wit is personal, does exist on the same level of abject hatred and rejection as murder. And even then, he can't move past it. He stares the consequences of his bigotry in the face, understands that it has made his ward fear him, understands that the lens he has viewed their relationship through all these many years has been clouded, understands that he made a monster of himself in Fitz's eyes, and he still can't change.

I don't think queer readings have to be blessed or even acknowledged by the author, and I don't think they even have to exist in the text for us to take the characters and themes out and play around with them. But there does exist this sweet spot of interpretation where the reading is there. Situations where Death of the Author slides neatly into play, where you take a story and wrap it around yourself and declare 'this one's for me, actually', and it simply doesn't matter what the intent was, because the text is there.

The book is not like, Gay Representation (TM), and I don't think it's something that should get credit or applause for its queer reading. But I also don't think queer readings are about credit or applause. My queer reading is based on me, as a queer person, reading queerness into the text of a work, of encountering art that resonates with my own queer experience. The book builds on this reading, supports it, threads it into the worldbuilding and the plot and the character relationships. Fitz's experience with the Wit is meaningful and fleshed out and a part of who he is, and the resonance with a queer experience improves the experience of the book without leaving me feeling baited, or pandered to, or kind of hollow.

Obviously I don't think this is an experience that everyone can or should have when encountering the book, but for me, it fucking hit. I'm glad I did this book to myself, am looking forward to throwing myself into a 16 book hole.

#the farseer trilogy #han reads #book recs #rote #rote spoilers #realm of the elderlings

[spurgie-cousin]

Just saw the video and commentary you posted around the poverty cosplaying and I just want to add that there used to be a different place in Arkansas that did a similar thing, sorta. It was through a charity organization that shifted focus so they no longer run the program, but they used to have a "global village" where people would get assigned different regions of the world to live in by lottery with a couple key differences. First, they used actual names of actual countries and provided actual information about the country/culture. Secondly, it wasn't for mission training but instead was meant to be an educational tool to help middle school and high school students to consider how existing in different global and socio-economic circumstances change your decision making etc. and in depth discussion and educational activities were facilitated frequently. I went there as part of an overnight high school trip and while in retrospect the "poverty cosplaying" does give me the ick I still feel like that particular program was informative. Mostly I'm shook that two distinct programs like this exist in AR? I've literally never heard of the Harding one from the video until now and went on a Google deep dive to see if they were connected in some way, but not that I can tell. Anyway, no deep thoughts really, just thought it was super interesting/weird.

There is something in the water over there in Arkansas man lol. I can never learn just some normal fact about AR, it's always something weird.

I totally understand wanting to create more empathy for those who live in poverty, especially in teenagers who are in a really formative years of their lives. And it's one thing to replicate conditions in your immediate area which you are intimately familiar with, but I just can't get on board with play-acting poverty in different areas of the world. I just think about how I'd feel if some religious group in another country tried to replicate my life experience for shock value.

Even replicating the conditions semi-well can't replicate the actual stakes faced by the people they're cosplaying. You can't replicate the stress of a single mother working 2 jobs and supporting 3 kids in a one-room house, you can't replicate the stress of food insecurity and legitimately being worried about when your next meal will be, etc etc. And something about pretending to do them when you can just go back to normal life at any time just feels disrespectful in a way I can't really articulate.

Idk if people get something from it that's great and I do get the thinking behind the one you described at least, I'm mostly still ranting about the first camp lol. I don't have any doubt that some of the people running the camp you went to had good intentions (the other one though I'm really not sure based on the town names) I just have a lot of mixed experience in Christian missionary culture where poverty is treated voyeuristically which is just definitely the vibe I got from the first camp.

#idk my dad grew up really really poor and i live in an area with a lot of poverty and so maybe i'm just overly touchy about it #but so much of the “philanthropic” culture i experienced in Christianity was making an other out of poor people #it's hard for me to really articulate well i feel but it was just this disconnect like we are different. we are the saviors. #we're on a different level. when in reality i mean everyone is an arm's length away from being in a bad situation in the right circumstance #i think the fact that a lot of the missionary work we did too was just classic surface level stuff like putting a bandaid on a gaping wound #kind of stuff that never addresses the root issues of poverty left a bad taste in my mouth for the community too #my church in particular has had this fundraising event every year for 80 years for the same area in africa building infrastructure and its #like....it's been damn near a century. how has this goal not been accomplished yet like where is this money going too?? #why have the missionaries in question seemed to make so little progress #idk ok im done lol i havent ranted in the tags in so long

[lostmarbles0]

The Crucible, Arthur Miller

I recently went to a showing of The Crucible by Arthur Miller. And it wasn’t just a simple production from your local theatre, I had to go out of town to get there. It was a pretty big theatre, lots of seats, staggered kind of like a stadium. I’m going to have to polish up on my drama terminology to make this, but it’s worth it to make a more uh articulate post.

Staging: 

The stage used was a type of thrust stage, that had a passage(much like a promenade stage) towards the back that connected to  a sort of thin proscenium arch that the audience could see free at times. For most of the play those last two areas were pitch black, terms of lighting, and the stage the furthest away from the audience was sometimes illuminated to add to what was being said    (sort of like flashbacks). For example when discussing the details of what the girls were doing at night between the adults, you could see behind them the scene of Tituba and the girls around a pot. This use of a unique stage was very ingenious, and something I’d personally never seen before. The only inconvenient was that at times you couldn’t see certain actors’ faces depending on where you were seated, but that didn’t bother me that much. The different sets for each act were also quite well done, with Act 4 ‘s stage looking incredibly desolate and bleak, Act 2 having a food with table, act 3 kind of looked like a classroom with how they arranged the chairs, but it was the backroom of a courtroom so it makes sense and Act 1, was neat with the light coming in from one specific place, to indicate the window described at the start of the text.

Lighting:

Not much to say here, good lighting choices. White a cold for Acts 1 and 3. Yellow and warm lighting for Act ( the scene between John and Elisabeth in their home). For Act 4 there were small lanterns scattered through out the stage and the lighting was a lot dimmer. The lights that were used for the last Act were white. Each act ahs a reason for these lighting shows, which if you’ve extensively studied the Crucible (like I have) they are scene appropriate.

Casting:

I was quite surprised by the casting choice, specifically John’s, but only because I had already seen the film adaptation and another play showing with a very good looking John actor, so my expectations were very biased. In terms of how accurate to the character however, the casting for John was quite reasonable, just an average scruffy farmer in his 40s. Giles was as usual, hilarious, and the actor donned the role very well. Abigail’s actor was very well chosen. Not only did she look annoying, in her poster, and the vibe she gave off, she fully sounded annoying as well. Props to her for her accent and the costume techs. What was also quite fun was the way they portrayed the multitude of hysterical girls, who could also sing. So at the end of Act 3 we had very ominous vocals as they left the stage. They reminded me of the chorus in Greek plays. The other characters were great, and the cast was very ethnically diverse! 

Content:

This playwright or director really took some creative liberties in the content. As I’ve mentioned, I studied the Crucible, so I could recognised when key quotes were being said, and if it adhered to the plot. The risk in my opinion with deviating from the original text is accidentally erasing the original playwright’s (here Miller) intent or text that could be interpreted and acted in different ways. They changed much of the dialogue and the plot stayed the same, however I wondered if these changes and additions were just a means to elongate the play: it did last 3 hours after all. Also the way they wrote the dialogue clearly conflicted with Miller’s style, because at times you could just tell that Miller’s text felt out of place. 

Something else was the interpretation of some key scenes, specifically the “it is my name” scene at the end. We were given a very defeated, and meek John Proctor, whereas the adaptations I had previously watched were very intense, having John scream and yell the words, instead of just almost whispering them in disbelief as they did here. Another thing that stood out to me was Abigail’s lack of presence? The actor was incredibly good, but I don’t think the dialogue did justice to her almost omnipresent presence, even when she isn’t in the scene, like you might see in the original play. It felt more like she was there to cause problems, then an actual threat. I still hated her by the end of it, and is probably the only character in literature I would call a nasty insult with no hesitation. She was really horrid, and had no redemption arc, unfortunately.

I had a splendid time with the play though, and the overall atmosphere created, made it worth it to coming back home at midnight. Really good play with brilliant actors!

#the crucible #playreview #review #play #theatre

[rueyam]

Salam <3

Thank you so much for answering my message, I really appreciate it. May Allah bless you <3

I think I’m going to end it with him, it just doesn’t feel right. At this point, after 7 meetings I should have felt something grow emotionally but it has not. Last time he told his feelings and was very kind and open about me but I don’t feel anything back. It’s so sad, so sad that I don’t feel anything back, sad to leave a great guy like him. He’s been paying for food and coffees every time. He even bought different board game for us to play so it gets easier to talk to each other and bc I brought up in one of the meetings before that we’ve got some board games at home but I have no one to play with (I just said it without any intentions, I wasn’t even thinking about it, I was just talking when we were talking about different board games). Like that’s how he is.

It feels like Allah brought a good guy like him to me after a long period of prayers for a good potential spouse, but here I am throwing away such an opportunity. It feels like I’m not appreciating what Allah has sent me. But I can’t help it, I don’t feel any attraction. What if my feelings doesn’t grow after marriage. Sometimes I start imagining how things could be and I get like mini moments of excitement but later on getting back to reality and realizing it’s only fake scenarios that gives me these good feelings but in reality I can’t go and strive for these fake scenarios that might not even happen. Like I tried to talk myself into it, you know when they say “fake it till you make it”, but nothing happens emotionally only like tiny tiny excitement but those disappears fast.

Last time I told him that it feels like he’s way further than me emotionally, he said what he felt but later said that he doesn’t attach himself fast to people, but from what I’ve seen and heard from him he does (Allah know best ofc). And that’s what I’m afraid of, making someone grow feelings for me and me prolonging this situation just bc I want to see if my feelings grow towards him but only to end up not wanting it and at that point him being much more emotionally invested in me. Even tho I was open about this and said that my emotions are not there yet and it could take a long time he’s said it’s ok that I shouldn’t worry, but I do. Do you see how good he is just him saying that?

I don’t even know how to tell him that I don’t want to continue in a good way. It sounds good in my head but whenever I speak it’s harder to articulate everything in clarity when it comes to these kind of things. He took my number last time which I actually didn’t want to give (at least not now, so far it has been our brothers whos been helping us to meet). I want to escape and just write it through a message but that wouldn’t be nice. It’s better face to face to show respect, not only for him but also for his brother (best friends with my brother) and his family.

uuuuugggghhhhhh

You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to. Salam <3

hi luv wa alaykum salam i wanted to answer at a time where i feel emotionally capable. i think you needed a last closure or sign to make this decision clear for you. please don’t feel sorry for not having feelings for him, that is not something to feel bad for. it is not something you can control! sometimes people can vibe and share the same energy w someone without developing romantic feelings for them and you not having them for him doesn’t make him a bad person either! i can tell he is a good guy from what you said, but some things just don’t work out, no matter how much you think it would be right. think as this; God has another plan for me, a plan that will satisfy me a lot more in the future. inshAllah. your feelings are valid and will bring you closer to what you are meant for. i hope you are doing good, always <3 thank you and may Allah bless you too! 🩷

[taurusupremacist]

Astro Notes #2

Welcome back everyone ! I’m sorry for not posting a lot but I have new tea for you. Also, my two next posts will be more like a crossover of astrology and Pop culture (two things I love) and don’t hesitate asking me any question I’d love to interact with people. ❤️

Gemini/3H moons are so unintentionally funny. There’s something about the way they tell stories and say the most out of pocket stuff that make people laugh. Usually, they have a specific vocabulary that people tend to repeat as a reference/private joke because they think it’s hilarious. They are walking memes.

Saturnian dominants (esp. Capricorn/Aquarius moons) are so sarcastic. Their jokes are so dry and they have the ability to say the funniest stories with a straight face while dropping a few scathing expressions by using intellectual terms. If they sound mean, then It was their intent because they think it’s the best way to convey their message. Especially if the person has an Air Mars.

Cancer women with a Scorpio Rising look great when they adopt a dark feminine persona when it comes with the way they dress. (Ex : Lana Del Rey)

Talking about personal style and astrology, I think someone would look great if they mix their Sun (personality, the self), their Ascendant (appearance) and their Venus Sign (taste, textures, fashion).

Ex : Zendaya has a Virgo Sun (her looks always manages to look perfect in her to the details and gives BOSS vibes), Aquarius rising (every red carpet is a moment. Always wears something unexpected, especially with her hairstyles) and Cancer Venus (Etheral and feminine style).

Neighbors signs compatibility is so overlooked. I usually see people saying Gemini and Taurus aren’t compatibles but many Geminis have Taurus placements and vice-versa. Same goes with every neighbor sign pairs. Aspects and where your placements fall in their houses are more important.

Romcoms give off very much Mutable Venus energy to me. I will probably elaborate more for each sign-a trope in an other post.

Asteroid Fama conjnct any placement in your 3H, you were likely to be popular at school or at least friends with some of them.

Lilith in the same sign as your venus you are more likely to be catcalled by random men on a daily basis and more sexualized than others by your own family.

Earth Lilith + earth Venus = people in your entourage have a hard time imagining you in a relationship because you’re seen as untamable.

Sun conjunct Moon in a friendship synastry is so cool. Best placement for long night conversations. Both of the parties understand each other and the friendship between these two is usually instantaneous.

Mars/ASC aspects = being seen as reckless, rebellious and the one who has to take the blame for other people’s faults because they look « more mature » and « tougher » even if the person has a quiet nature.

Pluto in the 2nd House and the urge to save money because of the fear of being in financial insecurity again but spending it in a short amount of time by saying « you know what F* It I’ll figure it out tomorrow ».

I’ve never seen a stylish Libra. No offense but the ones I’ve met only go for trendy stuffs. Same for their approach of life, they won’t wear clothes that can go against their charming and sociable image. They follow the trends but it still looks good on them.

Mercury rx people usually get gaslighted when they argue with Aries placements because they have a big confidence in what they say and make Mercury rx people doubt because they know they have a harder time expressing an very articulate thought and use that as an excuse to win an argument.

#mercury rx #mercury retrograde #astro notes #astro observations #astrology #spirituality #movies #zendaya #lilith #gemini moon #aquarius moon #capricorn moon #moon in the 3rd house #saturn #libra venus #cancer venus #pluto in the houses #sun conjunct moon #earth venus #mars ascendant aspects #mutable Venus #asteroid fama

[barzzal]

between halls and thin walls → part four

summary: friends who fool around almost never works. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: idiots, that’s all <3

↳ genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+

↳ length: series; part one, part two, part three, part four (6.7k), part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: my favorite part by mac miller, addicted by jorja smith, someone to spend time with by los retros

note: finally got myself to update this fic oml zzz quick psa tho, this will now be a six-part series! hope that’s okay and yenno as always, would love to hear what you think about this (validate me in the tags pls im lonely) happy reading babes! <3

“Yo, grandma. Haven’t you had too much tea to drink?” his voice echoes in the room as soon as he walks into it. You carefully set the cup down on the dining table and looked at him exasperatedly. 

“Haven’t you had too much care to give?” you snark back, earning yourself a disappointed look from him. 

“Really, y/n? That’s the best you’ve got?” he shakes his head at your appalling retort.  What a shame.

You were good at pissing him off to be fair. You just weren’t in the mood to throw teases back and forth especially now that you’re feeling particularly vulnerable.

The week has been far too dreadful for you and you know that you’re willing to grovel your way into the weekend to finally have the time to slack off, not worry about taking a bath, and just go crazy with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

However, just like always, Mathew seems to never run out of ways to get on your nerves. 

He carelessly puts his stuff on the table, causing a fairly loud thud on the surface. 

You let out a deep breath, massaging your temple. 

“Somebody’s cranky.” he grins. Not necessarily the kind you’d want to see from him. 

You try to ignore him for a few minutes but you can’t help noticing how his build easily took over much of the space you’ve already been occupying. You irkingly look up at him, closing the book you were reading. You meet Mat’s eyes who just innocently looked back into yours. Waiting. Possibly plotting on yet another sophisticated way to toy with you.

“You’re a child.” you roll your eyes and return to your reading. He says nothing and instead rests his chin atop his enclasped hands, continuing to bother you with his ridiculously beguiling eyes. He presses his lips together before sighing dramatically. 

“What?” you snap, finally shutting your book down as you look at him. 

“I wanna go out.” he looks up at you in an effort to make his huge physique smaller than it really was. 

“Then go out. You’re a big boy.” you breathe. 

“You just said that I’m a child.” he coos, mimicking a five-year-old’s voice. 

“Stop that.” you glare at him. Mat props himself back and laughs, “Come on. I’m bored.” 

You open your book again just as you reply in a tone that Mat’s getting used to hearing. “Boredom doesn’t give you the right to pester me, Barzal.” 

And as an exchange, he speaks in the same tone rather mockingly, “And so is that attitude, Y/L/N.” 

“Come on, y/n. Let’s go out.” he now pleads, looking up at you with what seems to be his worst impression of a ‘puppy eye’.

“Fine.” you finally concede and you see Mat’s beaming smile instantly. 

“Where’d you want to go?” you ask as you take your reading glasses off.

“Dunno.” He shrugs, obviously teasing. 

On the edge of being irritated, you say, “Are you kidding me?”

“Grandma.” he mumbles before saying, “Do you have anything you want to do? And please don’t say book hunt.”

You suppress a smile and maintain your composure. “I’m craving for pancakes right now but I also wanna drink. Go to a bar or something.”

He nods in agreement. Already stitching his game plan.

“We can do both.”  he bobs his all too fine brows.

He didn’t have a hard time getting you on board with his spontaneity. You actually haven’t gone out in a while and the thought of a possible night out doesn’t seem to be so bad of an idea.

You’ve been with Mat to parties and while the two of you don’t mingle as much as the other guys did, he does know his way around the club. The dance floor, however, he tries. He really does.

For about an hour Mathew waited patiently in the living room as he scrolled endlessly on instagram liking a few photos and laughing at posts the fans tag him occasionally. His eyes were peeled away from the screen when he heard the door to your room click. His irises trail onto your body even if he didn’t plan to originally. 

Mathew, albeit dressed simply in his black turtleneck sweater and a beige overcoat exudes just about the right ‘swag’ (as per how he puts it) to stop you in your stupor. Although what you didn’t know was how you weren’t any different in his eyes. You were dressed quite nicely in a black lace bodysuit with a pair of blackpants accentuated by the black boots you usually wear on a night out. Your coat was slung on your forearm whilst you held your clutch purse in your hand so you could close the door with the other. 

“What?” you blink just as you look down to eye yourself. Feeling a tad self-conscious under his gaze.

Mat immediately breaks it off. He clears his throat, pretending to wipe off the non-existent dust on the accent table. 

“What?” he mirrors with an arched brow.

You shrug off his demeanor, snatching your keys from the accent table before putting it in your purse. 

“Have you called a lyft already?” he nods, absentmindedly scratching his temple. 

“You ready? You look— decent.” He says, trying to act casual and distant when he gives you the compliment.

Not noticing the unfamiliar look his eyes had, you return the compliment and say,  “And so do you. Good job for not looking like you came straight out of an H&M catalogue.” you wink at him with a grin. A thing which was then reciprocated by a deadpan look on his end. 

Before he could even come up with yet another clever way to come at you, you start walking towards the door, looking at him once as you motion the way by curling your finger.

“Haul ass, buddy.”

𖥸

10:15 PM 

Mat decided to bring you to the usual place he goes to when he wants to be alone and just enjoy a couple of beers while he chats with River, the bartender he eventually befriends after years spent drinking in solitude. 

The bar had a rustic feel filled with wine barrels in the corner of the room. The seats were leather (mind you, it wasn’t the kind that gets easily worn out through time) and everything looked new to you regardless of all the vintage stuff displayed articulately on the brick wall. A turntable was set on the table stacked with vinyl records, most of which were from the 70s to 80s underneath.

It was obvious that it wasn’t the kind people would know about. Aside from it being located at such a secluded street leading to the suburbs, it wasn’t the type of bar kids would want to hang out in. It only had a few customers and most of them wore suits and came with company. No one really gave a hoot when you walked in with Mathew, aka, the face of the New York Islanders. Which is basically the reason why Mat kept coming back to the place. He felt comfortable and at peace. Almost in retrospect to being at home hanging with his father. 

“I can’t believe this place exists.” you say, mouthing your thanks to River as he hands you both of your drinks. The man that’s definitely aged like fine wine smiles, nodding his head over to Mat who was doing the same before he headed back to mix another set of drinks. 

“Me neither.” he grins, reminiscing about the time he’s found the small pub by accident. 

“This place looks expensive though.” you whisper, making Mathew laugh. 

“Well, it kinda is.” he sheepishly chuckles. “River’s filthy rich.”

“Is he really?” your mouth falls and you look back over the build of the old man. The way his salt and pepper hair was neatly slicked back makes quite a compelling case for what Mat had just said. 

Mat eventually explains who he was. Apparently, he was just another bored fancy man who happened to love making people drop dead and drunk with his over the top mixes. His dark deep set brown eyes are quite of a crowd favourite too. Case in point, the group of ladies seated from across you and Mathew.

“Hey.” you absentmindedly call on Mat who had just sipped on his drink. “I know what we should do.”

“All right.” he puts the glass down, “Lay it on me.”

“Let’s fix you up with one of the girls over there.” you suggest, leaning towards his body so you could get a better view upfront. Mat does not move and instead follows your finger subtly pointing at the other end of the room.

“What’s with the sudden fixation of getting me bagged tonight, huh?” he smirks, shaking his head at the idea of having to go home with some random girl. You give him a side eye as you move away from him. 

“Fixation is an overstatement. We’ll be here long enough for us to get sick of each other.” you explicitly told him. 

Mat eyes you intently. Searching if there was even the slightest doubt in your eyes. 

Long enough to get sick of each other. 

He clears his throat instead and looks across the room. “Which one?”

A gleeful cheer erupts from you just before you look over the girls in question. “What’s your type?” you ask him, not sparing a glance.

Mat looks down on you underneath the bar lights accentuating your features. Your eyes had a certain glint in them that Mat still can’t get a grasp on. Something that was just enough to spark something inside him. He didn’t want to overthink it nonetheless. It must have been just the lights. 

Once Mat sensed that you were about to look at him he immediately turned his gaze forward, squinting his eyes a little pretending to check out the women you’ve been eyeing for the last minute. 

“I don’t really have a type.” he shrugs, casually taking the fragile glass to his mouth. 

You dismiss what he said at once, “Do I look like a child to you? Just answer it.”

Mat shakes his head, “I told you. I don’t have one. If we vibe then we vibe. Simple as that.” 

You did not believe him but you decide to drop it off. Instead, you look back and return to your new found mission. Across the bar, seated were three girls busy talking to each other. 

“Got it.” you tell Mat, nodding your head towards the clueless girl sitting right across from where Mathew was. “The one in the center.” you add. “The one wearing a white bodycon.”

“She’s pretty.” he nods, validating your taste as his potential wingman. “Nice smile.”

Your hand met a firm slap on the table as you went on cheering for him. “Well? Go then!” you give him a nudge, taking it back quickly when you feel a slight hesitation on his part, “Don’t tell me you need me to introduce you?”

He takes the remainder of his glass and shaked off the kick it had in his throat. “You just sit and watch, babe.”

You do as you’re told and lean towards the bar, your elbow carrying all your weight whilst you sip on your half-full martini. 

Mathew’s stance and the way he carries himself immediately caused the girls to notice him coming. Of course, you weren’t really surprised. You watch him approach her,– reading along the words leaving his mouth. There was an exchange of proper ‘hello’s’ as Mat introduced himself to the girls. He reaches out his hand and the curly noirette in the center gives him a firm shake. 

Mat’s eyes momentarily locked with yours just as you see their hands linger in the air— tangled long enough for him to make a quick segway. He winks your way as he sees you grin from your seat, shaking your head just after you felt the need to take a deep breath. A thing you assumed to be because of the drink. So, while Mat leads the girl to one of the empty booths and sits across from her, you call on River and ask for another drink. 

Mathew must have lost track of time by the second drink he shared with Zoe. He learns that she’s from upstate and was just on the island to visit her friends. She’s still working on her major at NYU; coincidentally in the same field as Lianna so that was one of the things they’ve talked about first hand. She wasn’t really into sports so Mat steered clear of his job because he didn’t want to bore her. 

“So…” Zoe smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. “What’s the deal with you and the girl you’re with?” 

By the time she asked about you, only then did Mat remember who he was originally with. 

“Oh! She’s—” he looks over to where you’re seated only to find you laughing— no giggling with a man that was obviously a few years older than you. He’s wearing a neat black suit and a button down shirt with a couple of its first buttons opened. Zoe sees him frown, evidently losing his train of thought. 

She calls him with her sweet voice, “Mat?” 

“Yeah?” he absentmindedly answers, not wanting to take his eyes off of your hand that was now gently pushing the man’s arm whilst the two of you continue to burst into laughter. 

“Are you okay?” she asks.

What’s so funny? 

Finally, Mat hears Zoe’s distant voice that eventually took him back to his seat.

“Oh. Y-Yeah.” he apologetically smiles. “Sorry. What were you saying again?” 

She hesitates to ask about you after taking a quick glance your way upon seeing the way Mathew looked at you. Nevertheless, she decides to go for it.

“Aren’t you two together? I don’t want to come off strong here or anything. It’s just that I don’t want to get in between something if there ever is.” 

Mat looks at you one more time and as if you’ve felt his eyes all along you turn your way and meet his gaze. You shoot him a quiet smile, eyeing the guy sitting beside you, mouthing what he assumes to be an exaggerated “So hot!” on your end. He reciprocates your smile and gives you an approving nod.

Once you looked away, that’s the only time Mat finally answered the woman waiting patiently for his attention. 

“What?” Mat shakes his head wildly, blowing out air off his lips defensively. “No no no. We’re just friends. She’s my roommate actually.” he shrugs you off his mind and instead tries to put his entire focus on her. 

The remaining hours were spent with you and Mat getting along with your respective potential hook-ups. Not that it wasn’t the endgame either of you were hoping for at the back of your minds. 

He’s got to admit that Zoe was the kind of girl he’d be interested in. Another fact he’s kept a mental tab not to mention to you because he knows you’ll just get cocky. 

She was sweet and obviously eloquent. He knows she’s way smarter than he’ll ever be. But out of all those qualities, she was just as passionate at her craft as someone he likes to think he knows well enough. And that alone made a small smile creep on his lips. 

Nonetheless, despite all the aforementioned, Mathew found himself a bit more reserved than he usually is whenever he gets to meet and talk to his potential ‘lady friends’ as how you’ve put it countless times. He just wasn’t his exact self.  And he was beginning to question it. 

There were no fancy hockey plays thrown subtly into the conversation. Neither mentions of golfing nor over the top league events.  No butchered french pet names swiftly tucked in his sentences. And no endless questions that would eventually lead to something along the lines of ‘Do you want to get out of here?’

Well, not until Zoe’s friends got up their seats and she told him herself. 

“Hey. The girls and I are meeting up with some friends in Brooklyn. D’ya wanna come?” 

Mat’s eyes trail down to her hand now gently caressing his. He raises both his brows thinking of a possible ‘out’ because he wasn’t sure if it was a smart thing to leave you alone with a stranger. 

He hums, “Sure.” 

Zoe shows him a delighted smile before eventually sliding out of the booth to walk towards the bar she and her friends were formally seated. 

“I gotta use the restroom first. Please excuse me.” she gives him a nod before going back to chatting with her friends. 

You, on the other hand, see Mat leave the table aiming for an archway you presume to be where the loo was. 

“Hey,” you call the man whose name you’ve already forgotten. Your pause was long enough for him to acknowledge the chances that you actually did forget who he was. Obviously.

“Chris.” The man in his early 30s answers with a submitting grin. 

You shyly laugh, squeezing his forearm as you try to apologize for forgetting. 

“Would you mind if I use the restroom?” you politely ask. 

“No, not at all.” he replies and immediately stands to help you get on your feet. Gentleman. 

Once you are in front of the men’s room, you anxiously wait for your wingman. You hug your purse close to your chest. Not a whole minute after, the door finally opens and you meet Mat’s irises with quite a gleeful look. 

A look he wasn’t a fan of for he knew what’s about to come next. 

“Are you taking off?” you eagerly ask, almost hopping on your feet. 

Mat eyes you from head to toe, looking for signs that would stink from a drunk y/n. When he sees none, that’s when he decides to say that he was. 

“Mkay good. I’ll be on my way too. Chris is taking me to New Jersey.” you tell him, briefly looking through the archway to see if there were people listening.

Once you know you’re clear, you lean towards Mat, your lips dangerously close to the sensitive skin of his ear. Mat feels your heated breath sending a familiar tingle up his spine. “I’ll get to ride a yacht tonight.” you bite your lower lip and giddily smile as if you were a cheeky 16 year-old usually depicted in a coming of age movie. 

“Who’s Chris?” Mat, in spite of taking rounds observing you all night, finds the need to ask. “And why are you coming with him to NJ?” he further questions. 

“Uh– okay, dad.” you step back for a second. You let out a scoff, checking if he was being serious about it. “I thought we’re supposed to go get laid tonight? Weren’t you about to take off with that girl yourself?” 

Mat averts your gaze and starts to scratch the corner of his brow. “Well yeah. It’s just that— he looks sketchy.” he pauses, “plus… isn’t he a little too old for you?” 

You roll your eyes as you’ve already expected to hear the words from him. 

“He’s 31. He’s not that old.” you say rather defensively so you turn the ball back on his court. “And what if he was?  Didn’t you ask one of the moms out??”

Mat’s eyes widens and you try to bite back a laugh. He whispers with a biting tone, trying to save himself. “She didn’t look like one! I’m gonna kill Beau I swear to god.”

“Come on Barz. Don’t be such a killjoy. Text me if you need anything, okay? Wrap things up while you’re at it.” you say at once. Mat doesn’t get the chance to talk you out of such a stupid idea because before he even could, you’ve already planted a kiss on his cheek and started walking away. 

Mat waited for the sound of the heavy doors of the bar, signaling that you and your friend have gone, before stepping back to where Zoe was. She waves him near the coat closet. 

“Hi.” Mat greets her friends before eventually turning his attention on the unsuspecting lass. She meets her with a smile (just like what she’s been doing all night). The same smile, however, drops the second Mat opens his mouth. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” 

Zoe nods and willfully abides, letting Mat take her gently by the arm. 

“What’s up?” she innocently asks. 

“Something came up.” he says a little too fast than what he’d originally intended. He was going to let her down either way might as well get it over with and rip up the asshole band-aid. 

“Oh.” she says in a tone Mat knew that she completely understood. 

“No worries.” she looks at him with a knowing look in her eyes. “I’ll see you around then.” 

He gives her a kind smile and nods. “Take care.” 

Mathew walks towards the bar, catching River’s teasing grin whilst he cleans up after the bottles left on the center of the counter. 

“What?” Mat reacts defensively, taking a seat in front of the lone bartender. River faintly shakes his head to leave just enough curiosity in Mathew’s mind. 

“You’re such a tool, old man.” the kid says aiming for the cold beer River has put away for himself. River did not mind because he’s grown fond of the star player for the past years he’s spent going on late night drinks at his bar. Years that even justifies a proper amount of time for him to know the in’s and out’s of one Mathew Barzal. 

“I haven’t said a thing.” he shrugs amidst the already wide grin on his face. 

There’s wisdom in his eyes that Mathew has always admired. He wasn’t the guy who’d want to talk about what’s going on inside his head but with how River’s pub seems to be just the right place, he eventually concedes and takes a shot to pick on the old man’s brain.

“Come on, spill it out. I know you’re going to anyway.” Mat gives in, running his thumb on the moist label of the bottle. 

River wipes his hands before resting it atop the counter. “Well, it’s just that– I ain’t used to seeing you turn down ladies like that too often. And you’re definitely not one to stick around watching me clean up.”

Mat stays silent for a moment, as if to gather the exact reason as to why he chose to stay. He still has a long way to go before figuring that one out. He wasn’t exactly as sharp as he was on the ice.

“I don’t know, man.” he chuckles tirelessly, “I guess I wasn’t in the mood. That’s all.”

“You?” River shots a brow and dismisses him, shaking his head. When Mat doesn’t answer, he carefully picks on his choice of words and lays it down carefully for him. After all, Mathew should have known that River was old enough to not know what’s going on.

“Though I gotta be honest with you, hijo. Never imagined you’d bring someone here.” he starts. 

What must have been a shot in the dark for the old man was just enough to tear Mathew’s eyes away from staring at the water beads on the bottle.

“What?”

“The girl, Barz.” he says, banging on the head of the bottle to knock the cap off. “She a friend?” 

“What? Y/N?” Mat quirks his brows trailing off where River was exactly headed, “What about her?— Oh, her? Yeah, no. She’s just a friend.”

“She pretty.” he speaks in a sound accent, not wanting to let Mat know he’s growing to like catching the young lad off guard. Mathew nods casually despite the continuous blabbering. “She’s y/n. But yeah— I guess, she is pretty.” 

“Then what are you doing being just friends with a pretty girl?” River inquires, taking a sip of his beer. When he sees him trying to register what he’d just said he then adds, “Why not be with her? Date her?”

“Psh. What? Date y/n? That’s crazy.” Mat shakes his head furiously, “You’re crazy.” 

“What’s so crazy about that?” River takes offense, laughing at the child’s naivete. 

“I can’t date her. I mean— I won’t date her.” he takes the bottle to his mouth, taking a large gulp before continuing, “We’re in this weird relationship thing. A setup, actually, and it’s— it’s crazier than dating her. I swear, you of all people won’t get it.” 

“What makes you think I can’t?” he smirks, “I’ve had my fair share of crazy.” River points out despite the hesitation in Mat’s eyes. “I got all night, kid.” he adds, letting him have the floor to himself. 

“You really want in on this?” he second guesses, not wanting to bore the man with his personal life.

River leans against the brass counter just below the lit rack of vintage scotch displayed on the bar. He then gestures him to give a piece of his mind and Mat finally submits to his offer.

“We’ve been in a few… prior engagements,” he starts trying to find the appropriate word. “Well, sort of.”

River hums, not necessarily getting on the same page as him so he decides to be upfront about it.

“We’ve… slept together.” he confesses.

“So you used to date her?” the old man asks. 

“No.” he answers, “I told you we’re just friends.” 

With furrowed brows, River takes a minute. And once Mat hears an all too familiar “Oh.” he sees him break a chuckle, shaking his head at the thought of what Mat had just told him. “You kids have way too much fun these days.”

Mathew shrugs, “Hey, I warned you. Told you you wouldn’t get it.”

“Okay, make me understand something here. You two sleep together, fool around, do all that shit.” he says, “and you swear you’re not in a relationship?”

“Nope.” Mat answers with pride, popping out the word with a hard ‘p’.

“Huh.” River clicks his tongue, “How long have you two been… engaged?” 

He rolls his eyes when River uses his word, “About two months.” he answers shortly.

“Is she seeing anyone since you two started this thing? You know, casual dates, the ones I presume she’s been getting before you got her into this mess?” he asks him in a tone that only fathers would ever dare to use.

Mat thinks for a moment, trying to recall the last time he’s seen a guy pick you up for dinner besides the old man you’ve successfully bagged for the night. He firmly shakes his head no and simply says, “At least not in my recollection.”

River willfully nods, walking Mat right into the trap. “Well have you been seeing anyone lately?” he asks again, this time slipping a hint of assertion. He hears a crystal clear ‘no’ from the forward and that’s when he broke a goading grin. 

“And you’re telling me you two aren’t together?” he asks yet again, getting on Mat's nerves as he continues to flood him with biting queries, building up the final point he was about to break on Mathew.

“Rivs, for the hundredth time, no. We are not.” he clarifies. 

Mat watches River pour himself a glass of scotch, still wearing a smug grin. “Imma give you a piece of advice, yeah?” he smiles rather teasingly and doesn’t wait for Mat to rebut, “I’m a happily married man so I don’t know a single squat about dating nowadays, but if you’re telling me that you kids aren’t sleeping with anyone else but yourselves? Looks like a damn relationship to me.”

With his brows all quirked in confusion (and denial in the very least), Mathew gathers all his might just so he could refute whatever madness River was trying to inflict on him and screw him up in the head. But before he could even open his mouth, the sound of the heavy doors was all it took to tear up both River’s and Mat’s attention.

“Hi.” you say the moment you were welcomed by unsuspecting men talking by the bar. River acknowledges you by raising his drink, his gaze landing on Mat the moment yours did. 

“Hi.” Mathew mirrors you in an attempt to drown his already racing heart. A smile impending to break loose at any moment but he manages to suppress it. Instead of dealing with his adrenaline, he gestures for you to take a seat beside him. 

“Where’s the sugar daddy?” he laughs the moment you drag yourself from across the room, mocking every word he said. 

“His wife called when I got into his car.” you cringe.

“Oof. Lovely.” Mat makes the distinct expression on his face just before the two of you share a laugh.

“He’s not very smooth with adultery. He needs more practice.” you casually state sarcastically, clicking your tongue. 

As you find the narrative funny, you take a sip on Mathew’s beer. “How are you not drunk? You’ve been drinking way too much the entire night.”

“Well. I’ve got some things to think about—” he cuts himself off upon seeing your mouth ajar, “And no, you’re not allowed to ask because none of it concerns you.” 

“I wasn’t going to.” you dismiss him, excusing yourself to River which he gladly took as his cue to leave.

When he disappeared into the kitchen, you turned your gaze on your friend wearing another one of your mischievous grins, “Hey, wanna get pancakes?” 

“Y/N, it’s almost 3 AM.” Mat sighs, the tiring night starting to creep up to him. 

“So?” you question, swatting his hand away when you catch him checking on his watch. 

“Come on. Stop drinking that.” you insist and take the bottle from his hand before putting it over to the side. 

The two of you said your goodbyes to the lone bartender who was just starting to clean up again. River gives the two of you a nod of acknowledgement before landing a knowing look on Mathew. One that he’s thankful enough not to be discerned by you. 

As you walk alongside Mathew, he unconsciously places a hand on the small of your back— feeling it graze on the fabric of your coat as if to guide you towards the door in an almost romantic type of way. Perhaps, a way someone would behave if they were actually in a relationship. 

Mat notices your body tense but he doesn’t move an inch. Instead, his hand travels to the curve of your waist just as he leads you through the brass doors.

Once you’re out on the streets, he lets go.

𖥸

After almost half an hour of fighting over which diner is better to eat and get sober at, you and Mat decide to just try the new diner three blocks from your apartment. Being that it was an ungodly hour, the diner was good as closed when you got in. There were a few people inside and besides the student studying alone in the corner booth, the people lounging in the vacant seats were mostly just staff. Too bad they had to work the grave shift.

Mathew, who was rather preoccupied digging in his breakfast platter, gets interrupted when you call his attention. 

“So tell me,” you ask as you take a forkful of syrupy pancake into your mouth. Finally satisfying your cravings. You put the food modestly in the insides of your cheeks when you ask him a question, “What are you like on dates?” 

Mat disgustingly looks at you. You easily get what such a look meant and you immediately roll your eyes. You let your hand fall in mid-air amidst still holding a fork in it to prove a point. “I’m not trying to ask you out, dumbass. Don’t be so delusional.”

He puts his silverware down and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Why the sudden interest?” 

“Just curious.” you simply say.

He hums, thinking about how he pulls off a first date. He then clears his throat as he takes you down that road. “First, I’m not bringing her to a 24/7 Diner.” you nearly gag. “She deserves a formal one just in case there won’t be a second date.” he explains. 

You sit there, nodding your head every now and then as he further goes on the details of how he’s like on a date. “Of course, I’d put my best foot forward all the time. Talk about her stuff more than mine and make sure she has a good time.” 

“Have you ever had a bad first date?” you curiously ask. To which he only answers with a stubborn look on his face, the one only Mat Barzal could pull off. “What? me? I don’t do bad first dates.”

“Oh, fuck off.” you flick his forehead as you laugh. The sound of his laughter echoing in your ears, drowning all the existing noise inside the lone diner.

But as the laughter dies down, Mat catches your eyes as soon as it falls on his. And just like that, there it was again, the exact same glint it had back in the bar. This time, illuminated by the pink shaded light lining up the wall accents of the diner. 

When he realizes that he’s been staring for too long, he settles on turning the tables on you. 

“How about you?” he props in his seat, “What are you like on dates?”

“You know, apart from the fact that you’re obviously into old men.” he snickers and you throw a curly fry on his forehead.

“Excuse me, I don’t.” you say sticking up for yourself.

Mat takes the curly fry that has fallen on his plate and proceeds to eat it. “Sure you do.” 

You roll your eyes, finding it hard to suppress the fact that you might actually do. “There’s a reason why women like old men, chico.”

He leans back and answers with a level headed and quite teasing reply, “And why’s that?”

“Because they’re men.” you look at him with a jerky grin as you continue, “And men, especially of River’s kind, definitely knows how to eat his french fry.”

Mat’s mouth falls wide in disbelief, appalled that you’ve actually found a way to pick up a stone and throw it straight to his face just to rub more salt on the fact that you had to teach a 23-year-old grown man how to eat cunt.

 “You’re an ass.” he says, rolling his eyes. You let out a laugh and shake your head. You were proud of yourself, sure; but showing just that is far too much for a boy’s already hurting ego. Who would have known humbling this man was such a task. 

“I’m playing! You know how to now.” you tell him, “Thanks to me, of course.”

He scoffs and takes a bite off his pancakes, “Cocky.”

“But you still haven’t answered my question.” he reminds you whilst he wipes off his lips with a napkin. 

“There’s not much to tell. You know I’m not high maintenance.” you tell him, ignoring the fact that you haven’t been on an actual date for so long you’re almost sure you’ve forgotten how to be in one. 

“I know it’s cheesy and corny but I do think it’s still in the littlest things, you know?” you sigh. Trying to remember the last relationship (date even) you had wherein those little things, the ones that are merely the bare minimum, were actually given to you. 

“You know, it’s not much, really. Maybe just a good talk without having to watch him watch me talk all night when he’s really thinking about how I’d look naked, you know what I mean?” you laugh it off, “I know, it’s stupid.”

The arrogant man sitting before you was silent for once, profusely wanting to wash the pool of melancholy he sees in your eyes. There must have been a shit ton of guys who overlooked how great of a woman you actually are just because they couldn’t stop thinking with the head in between their legs even just for a second. 

Mathew knows. And he hates that he’s been ‘that’ guy at some point. Probably until now considering him thinking with his balls on was the very thing that got the two of you here in the first place.

You take a deep breath, smiling. “Anyway, that’s better than almost getting with a married man. Right?”

“Right.” Mat laughs, his gray eyes bright under all the lights as he plays with his silverware,— devoid of how much he looked like as if he was utterly and undeniably in awe of not just the energy of the woman sitting in front of him alone nor the fact that she was by far the most unbelievable woman he’s known, but most importantly, he’s yet to realize how much in deep he’s beginning to be for the woman she actually were. 

Just as she is. 

𖥸

You left the diner a good hour before the sunrise and what must have been a quick five minute drive if you had only taken a cab, became a twenty minute foot race between you and Mathew.

You knew that walking was a bad idea but somehow, Mat’s charm and persuasive antics had a better hold than you thought you had on your very capable cognition. 

As you drag your feet into the confines of the elevator in your complex, you hear Mathew chuckling behind you with a firm hand securely placed on your waist supporting your balance. 

“You know— and not just ‘cause I’m an athlete, can I just say that you’re in a very bad shape?” he says almost a whisper in your ear, his voice low and deep.

You roll your eyes, leaning on the steel cold mirror once he pulls away, “You do it in heels then tell me who’s in a bad shape.” 

“Fair point.” he chuckles yet again, shying away. He presses the number for your floor before resting across from you. As Mat watches you catch your breath, he jokes in the hopes of breaking the ice between the two of you. 

“So…” he clicks his tongue, playful eyes looking at you, “Wanna tap?”

Disgusted to your very core, you let out a scoff just as you shake your head. “You’re fucking sick.” you laugh upon meeting his dumb grinning face. Seconds into laughter, Mat’s silence kills off the humor. The two of you exchange glances, the smiles on your faces receding into quietude. 

Mathew didn’t want to end the night letting you in the apartment not knowing what he’s been feeling the moment you’ve let him drag you out for an impromptu night out. And stupid as it was, the only thing he could think of was to slide his foot across the enclosed space embracing the two of you, nudging on your boot. You on the one hand were rather puzzled as to what caused such language. You send him a mental query by arching a brow. He lets his head fall back on the cold metal surrounding the elevator finally deciding to speak his truth.

 “I’m glad we get to hang out now. You know, just like friends do.” he genuinely says. 

“Me too.” you say, smiling. “I really had fun tonight. Thank you.”

As you meet his eyes, you see a glimmer of softness in his gaze. 

“Good thing I got bored, eh?” he says with a smirk. 

“Good thing I came back for you.” you reply.

A quiet smile parts from his lips.

“Yeah. I’m glad you did.”

It was a few seconds when you and Barzy parted from your respective walls to meet the sliding doors as it opened on your designated floor. You were pulling him closer by the tie of his coat whilst his hand was instinctively placed on your hips letting him press his body on you. Your faces were inches from each other’s, evident of not wanting to prolong the totally unplanned foreplay that’s about to go down in a communal lift. 

But just like every film you’ve watched your whole life, the inevitable cliché befalls the two of you when the next words that filled the enclosed walls you’re currently caged in came from the man who has yet to miss a morning jog. 

“What the hell is going on here?”

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal smut #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #hockey fic #nhl fic #hockey smut #letters to barzy #barzzal imagines

[stariwrites]

👀👀👀👀 Ship your moots

Alright I’m putting this under a readmore because I’m going to try and include all of my moots so let’s see how I do. They’re going to be split up half and half so this is the first half. I’m determined also I may have gone overboard but it’s chill

Edit: adding more here!

@dabitdabi Keigo for sure, they’d be so powerful it would be insane😩, he’d be so cute and flustered and Cheshire is such a sweetheart he’d practically drop everything for her if she needed it. The type of couple who compliment each other, she’d remind him to take care of himself and make sure he knows that shes somebody he can depend on/talk to at the end of the day. And he’ll take care of her too, make sure he remembers her favorite food, flower, blanket you name it he’ll remember.

@sleepyrintaro (ik you’re on a hiatus love but I wanted to include you too) Kuroo, another absolute unit. When I tell you they’re both geniuses and when they’re together they’re either the most intelligent people or have one brain cell shared and there’s no in between, there’s no in between. Rin is amazing and is so kind/has such a big heart the two of them would have so much fun together and be so fun to be around. Kuroo would love hearing about psychology and it would basically turn into talking about hyperfixations going back and forth.

@rukunas Sukuna hands down. Rue is so sweet and has the best vibes and I feel like Sukuna would be drawn to that. The soft but only for you trope definitely comes into play here. Sukuna would look so intimidating and tease Rue but then get flustered half way through. King of curses or not he can be really intimidating one minute but as soon as you need him he’s instantly like ‘what’s wrong baby what happened?’ (Basically the Gordon Ramsey with kids vs with adults comes into play here).

@kkodzvken Dabi or Toga, Lune is a sweetheart and I feel like both Dabi and Toga would look at them and instantly think ‘I want to protect them.’ This relationship would be very cute in its own way because they’d all watch out for each other. Dabi would smile so fondly it would be a crime, but if he’s ever called out on it he would 100% deny it and you can’t convince me otherwise. He’d let Lune wear his coat around if they wanted to. With Toga, she’d do skin care (if you wanted to) and would adore shopping dates! Loves cuddling and just snuggling up to you too!

@katslutski I cannot stress this enough: Nanami Kento. They both value independence and Nanami would take care of you if you needed it. He’d love chilling and watching movies or reading quietly with Kat and nobody can convince me otherwise. Slow dancing in a kitchen would be a must at least once. They’d have separate apartments but spend a lot of time at the others. He’d send texts from time to time asking how she is and would enjoy making dinner together with her. Nothing relaxes him more than the time they have together. Kat is so fun to talk to and is honestly amazing and so is Nanami so they would for sure have the best convos too.

@pupimouto Chuuya hands down. Babi is honestly amazing and Chuuya would be so enamored. He’d also have the thought of ‘Must protect.’ Adores her, the red and pink aesthetic for sure. He’d get into a fight if anybody looked at her the wrong way. If there’s a bad day he’d be there to hold her close to her and reassure her and if she kisses him or holds his hand/tells him she loves him? Gone he has ascended, he’ll smile for the rest of the day.

@oilivia Oikawa. Liv deserves the best and who is Oikawa if he doesn’t provide? Their relationship is super fun, he’d listen to her playlists and playfully tease her a bit but it’s all in good fun. (He makes sure not to go too far and cross a line) the type of relationship where they both bicker playfully, but also have really deep convos. They also balance each other out and help each other to either break out of their shell or relax and just focus on the present. Communication between them is amazing, they make it look so easy. Both of them are able to confide in the other knowing it’s a safe space and there will be no judgement. Oikawa also loves to fluster her in public by calling her cute pet names.

@bakugohoex Jean Kirschtein, they’re able to be independent but also comes together. The best friends before being lovers type of thing. Ria is amazing and Jean would be there to hang out with her and makes sure to call her beautiful everyday. He adores the little domestic moments the most and would love hearing about her day and would check in throughout the day with ‘Hey baby how are you doing?’ Attentive and he’s a very good listener. They’d both work so well together! He seems like the type to theorize movies and so they’d both exchange their own and see who’s closer to what’s actually going on.

@chaos-night *deep inhale* ATSUHIRO SAKO please they’d be so perfect I’m not even kidding! He’d take up ballroom dancing lessons so they could dance in the kitchen and their relationship would be so soft and wholesome. Chaos is a wonderful person and is a great listener as well as fun to talk to so they would both revel in each other’s presence. Atsuhiro would shower her in praise all the time. He’d adore her so much and everyday would fall a little more in love with her. King of romantic dates whether it’s extravagant or just hanging out and watching movies either way he adores it. Will hold her close to his chest as they sleep whispering how much he loves her and how lucky he is to be with her.

@raes-still-rambling the sweetest I can’t even articulate. Tamaki Amajiki they would work so well together. He’d find so much comfort in them. His favorite would be if they just cuddled together and watched a movie. He isn’t big on romance but he’d put his all into it regardless. Loves holding their hand and would smile softly whenever he sees her. They’d definitely have a cuddling playlist and he’d show them he loves them through small actions

@m-mortimer Christa and Ymir 100%. Izzie has such a big heart and I feel like she’d fit into this dynamic so well! They’d both take care of her, Ymir has strong mommy dom energy and would make sure both her girls are doing well. They would all live the cottage core lesbian dream I guarantee you. Would dance around and just have a lot of laughs together, making flower crowns would be an absolute must. They’d all take care of each other and would help if any of them got into a bad headspace. This relationship would feel like a home.

@deludedimagines Levi Ackerman, Sorcha has to be one of the coolest people ever and who better to match that energy than Humanity’s Strongest. Their relationship would be comfort. Both of them would find solace in each other whether it be making tea late at night to playing games in the morning. The two of them would work so well together, completely content to dwell in the comfortable silence they’ve created. They’d also clean together with soft music playing in the background and Levi can’t get enough of it. Their relationship is full of understanding one another. The phrase/lyrics “Life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with” very much applies here.

@fuwushiguro Toji Fushiguro no questions asked. The most interesting and fun relationship ever, Venus is a goddess and is so kind/compassionate Toji would start out being like ‘I have no intention of falling in love’ and then before he knows it he’s in love. Would protect her no matter what, they would have amazing stories. Their life would be like a movie. He’d hold her and in the soft moments tell her how much he loves her and how he feels complete with them together. He’s the type to use action instead of words so if he sees her sad? He’s off to get ice cream and put on her favorite comfort movie. He grumbles about her making him soft but when she just gives him a smile and says he likes it he can’t help but smile fondly, he can’t argue with that.

@fushigurocockslut Mahito, they too have a fun relationship. Tessa is one of the chillest people I’ve ever had the joy of knowing and her and Mahito would be so chaotic im living for it. They share one brain cell and it’s to wreak total havoc, both of them have the friendship dynamic down to the point where people have to ask if they’re dating or just close friends. Mahito loves spending time with her and they both would absolutely prank the hell out of Nanami. Also they’d find/have the coolest hang outs to chill and listen to music, eat snacks and vibe. Although they may be chaotic they’d also have really chill moments where they would just relax and stargaze. The two of them could talk about everything and anything.

@doinmybesthere Shoto Todoroki. Emme has a huge heart with so much love and she deserves to receive all that love back and more. Shoto is not big on pda, but behind closed doors he loves intimacy. In the quiet moments of just waking up he’d kiss her forehead with a groggy ‘Good morning love’ their dynamic is ‘Two sweethearts in a room they might love each other unconditionally’ and then they did. Slow dancing in the kitchen? Absolutely. Shoto is also attentive and adores Emme’s beautiful singing voice, on bad nights he loves nothing more than to feel her fingers in his hair and hear her voice as he drifts off. If the roles are reversed he holds her to his chest and hums softly while rubbing soothing circles against her back. Their relationship is wholesome and they bring out the best in each other.

@izukine Takemichi for sure. Both would try and protect the other and they’d both be flustered by the other since they’d both of the thought process of ‘Theyre so cute my heart feels like it’s about to burst’ Liyah is so friendly and awesome and I feel like Takemichi would be drawn to that. Whether it be walking around or just chilling both of them would just like the time they spend together. Every time Takemichi sees her he instantly perks up and has a cute smile on his face. Their relationship holds solid communication and trust.

@cupcake-rogue Bakugou Katsuki without question. King of making sure Star is taken care of and has a soft spot for her. Everybody makes fun of him for it, but he doesn’t care. Star would mean the world to him and knowing that he comes home to see her face would relax him and keep him calm. He loves holding her in his arms and if she runs her fingers through his scalp he’s gone. Instantly falls asleep. Uses actions over words so he’ll make sure he has her favorite foods/drinks stalked in the fridge. If he notices it’s a bad day he’ll ask how he can make it better. The two of them would have a relationship that’s all about care.

@nomadmilk Kirishima Eijirou both of them take care of each other and have so much fun together. Matching outfits? Sure. Cute couple photos? Absolutely! They’re the definition of couple aesthetic/goals. Love being affectionate, it doesn’t matter if they’re in public or not. Kirishima will constantly praise Noma and be like ‘that’s my baby!’ Whenever you do something. He loves supporting you and if you ever comfort him/do the same he’ll be so happy. Loves to hold and cuddle Noma a lot. Both of them together would radiate so much love they both deserve wonderful things.

If I didn’t get to you this round just you wait cause tomorrow is part 2

#starianswers #beautiful anons

[qitwrites]

growing pains 

Fandom: Boku no hero academia 

There’s an absolutely atrocious, disgustingly gooey feeling curling around Bakugou’s chest.

He wonders if Recovery girl has any medicine for feels.

OR

5 times the Bakusquad tells Bakugou they love him + the one time he says it back

(AO3)

Ashido is many things. Book smart isn’t one of them.

No really, she’s got so much going for her with her dancing, her strength, her versatile quirk, her perky attitude and even her distinctive appearance, but she’s not one for the books. She doesn’t like them, and they clearly don’t like her back.

Her grades thoroughly reflect this hate-hate relationship.

Ashido tries though, she really does- even if it’s just cramming a few days before the exams, she tries to study. Yao-momo had even gone out of her way to help, but it just doesn’t do the trick. She knows she needs to get her act together and figure this out because she can’t be a hero with a failing grade, and the anxiety and fear starts taking its toll, leaving her restless and upset.

So, when Bakugou sees the pink-haired, pink-skinned pain-in-the ass sulking in the common room, he’s horrified by the words that leave his mouth-

‘Want my help?’

Ashido doesn’t even glance at him at first, choosing to stare at the wall forlornly. She slowly looks up to catch his eye, looks around, realizes that they’re all alone, snaps her eyes back to his and her jaw drops.

‘Me?’ She points a finger at herself. ‘You’ll tutor me?’

‘What did I just say dumbass?’

‘I just- BAKUBRO, THANK YOU!’

‘Shut the fuck up and get your shit. We’ve got our work cut out for us. And raccoon eyes?’

Ashido turns to look at him, eyes bright and shiny.

‘Tell anyone about this and I’ll kick your ass.’

Ashido beams. ‘It’ll be our little secret!’

To her credit, he sees her try. She’s distracted and constantly jumping up and down, too jittery to be in one place, but she also pushes herself to focus, to really absorb the material. Bakugou’s rough with her, the way he is with Kirishima, but he’s generous with the praise too, or as generous as he’s capable of being. It makes him feel all kinds of gross, disgustingly soft and gooey things when Ashido’s eyes go warm with pride when he pays her the smallest compliment.

They work hard for the two weeks leading up to the exams. Kirishima joins them for every session in addition to the stuff he does with Bakugou separately, and between the three of them, they manage to cover most of the syllabus quite thoroughly.

The day before the exam, Bakugou sees the nerves rolling off Ashido.

‘Oye!’

She flinches and turns to look at him, throwing him a sheepish smile. ‘Yes, Blasty?’

He bristles at the nickname but recognizes that there’s no malice, no intention to mock, nothing really- just a nickname meant for a friend. She isn’t provoking him- she’s just nervous and falling back on old, comfortable habits.

He grunts, ‘You nervous?’

Ashido chuckles. ‘Course I am! Don’t wanna let you down, you know?’

Bakugou smacks her lightly on the head with a roll of practice sheets.

‘Who do you think tutored you? Don’t underestimate our sessions. Get in there and fucking obliterate those stupid tests.’

Ashido’s smile grows more confident, and she gives him a huge thumbs up, bumps hips with Kirishima and jogs over to her seat. The bell rings, and the exams begin.

The tests are not bad. Bakugou notes that a good majority of the papers contain material that he’s covered with the two properly, and works his way through the problems, the equations, the literature, all of it. In the very back of his mind, in a place he barely refuses to acknowledge, he hopes that they’re doing ok.

A week after their final exams, Bakugou is walking back from the training centre when he sees a ball of pink approaching him at an alarming speed.

‘BAKUBRO!’ Mina hollers, arms raised over her head as she outright sprints at him.

Bakugou furrows his brow, chest expanding as he gets ready to yell at her when she interrupts him-

‘I passed EVERYTHING!’ Her smile is humungous, wide and warm and genuine to its core. ‘AND I ACTUALLY DID WELL!’

Bakugou doesn’t even realize he’s smiling back, that feral, triumphant grin he has when he beats someone during training or takes down a villain. He’s proud of himself, and he realizes, with a surprising amount of acceptance, that he’s proud of her too. Really damn proud.

He’s a bit slow to realize that she hasn’t stopped barreling towards him though.

‘RACCOON EYES, DON’T YOU DA-‘

Ashido collides right into him, sending them both tumbling to the ground. Bakugou curses the entire way, but Ashido out-laughs him, her body shaking with joy.

‘Thank you!’ She beams down at him, pulling him into a warm hug. ‘You have no idea what this means to me.’

Bakugou wants to push her off, wants to stand up, spew out some curses and stomp away, back to his room.

But he’s also proud. He’s also happy for her. He’s also glad she did ok. That she worked hard and was determined to make him proud and that she isn’t going to get held back or expelled or something.

So, he blames it on the summer heat when he not only doesn’t push her off but rests a hand on her shoulder, gives her a quick pat, counts to 10 and THEN shoves her away.

Ashido pulls off easily enough, still laughing. She bounces back to her feet, dusts off her track pants and offers him her hand. The blonde looks at it, huffs, and takes it with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

Ashido yanks him to his feet with a strong, firm grip and her eyes go soft and warm and radiant.

‘Thanks again, Bakugou.’

‘Tch, whatever. Fuck off.’

Ashido giggles. Her phone suddenly starts ringing and she pulls it out of her pant pocket.

‘Oh, it’s my parents, I gotta take this!’ She starts walking back to the dorms. ‘Let’s go out this weekend, get some food at the mall. My treat!’

‘I don’t want to fucking do-‘

‘Bye babe. Love you!’ And with that, she’s gone, her laugh echoing around the courtyard.

There’s an absolutely atrocious, disgustingly gooey feeling curling around Bakugou’s chest.

He wonders if Recovery girl has any medicine for feels.

---

Bakugou knows for a fact that Sero is 90% memes and 10% tape.

He has no scientific evidence to back up this claim of course, but he’s definitely right.  

The thing about Sero is that the longer you spend time around him, the more you can appreciate his stupid sense of humour, his great taste in mangas, and his ability to make the people around him smile.

Bakugou hates him completely, or so he tells himself. There’s no scientific evidence to prove on the contrary either, thank god.

So, with his shitty sense of humour and his easy-going nature, it’s natural to find Sero with a smile on his face. Not the kind of sunshine happiness that Kirishima has, but more of a mellow, easy joy. His body language exudes a relaxed vibe, immediately making the people around him lower their guard, and he shares a love for healthy food with Bakugou, earning him the blonde’s begrudging respect.

Bakugou finds the tape hero sitting at the kitchen island on a Tuesday night. It’s past Bakguou’s bedtime, but he’s hungry enough to warrant a midnight snack, though he’s not expecting any company. Turns out, neither is Sero.

‘Oh, hey.’

Immediately, Bakugou’s shackles are up. Because Sero isn’t smiling. He isn’t teasing him, there’s no humorous lilt in his voice, no mischievous glint in his eyes, nothing. He’s hollow almost, his skin pale and his eyes sunken in. Even his breathing seems off, too fast and too shallow all at once.

‘What are you doing up?’ Bakugou asks, quirking a brow.

‘Could ask you the same.’

Sero is barely looking at him. He has his phone in a vice-grip, and he looks like he’s going to throw up.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

Sero jolts at that, eyes darting all across the room, and he can’t seem to look at Bakugou. Can’t seem to sit still or calm down. Bakugou can taste his anxiety, and it’s making the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He feels protectiveness - strong and vicious and ridiculously overpowering - all the way in his toes.

‘Nothing, ha, I’m fine.’

‘Tapeface, I’m not fucking blind. If you don’t want to fucking talk about it, fine. Just don’t lie to my face.’

Sero finally looks at him, and he looks lost and scared and helpless. Bakugou’s never seen him like this, and the protectiveness surges.

‘I- I didn’t expect anyone to be awake. I’m not sure, you know, how to talk about it. I don’t even know what to do.’

Bakugou grunts to show him he’s listening before turning around and slowly pulling things out of the fridge. He remembers Sero’s love for fruits and soy and all things healthy and decides to make some Mapo Tofu. Not because Sero will like it or anything, the blonde just really likes Mapo Tofu, ok?

Bakugou begins the task of pulling pots and pans out of the cabinets and gets to prepping the ingredients. He keeps himself busy and fills the space with the comforting sounds and smells of food because he is an expert at being unable to talk about his feelings. To articulate his thoughts sans anger and rage and panic. And he finds that it's easier, even if only a little, to talk when the focus isn’t just on you. When there’s stuff going on, when there are other focal points. It’s less scary.

‘My mom is getting surgery.’

Bakugou pauses in his movements. He stays still long enough to indicate to Sero that he’s listening but goes back to work so the focus is still on the food, so Sero will continue to speak. His voice is uncharacteristically soft and so pained, and something in Bakugou churns horribly. He works more softly, so he can hear everything.

‘She’s had medical issues all my life, so it’s nothing unexpected. She gets surgery pretty often, but it’s never any less scary.’

Bakugou can’t even imagine what that’s like, to have a parent regularly undergo medical treatment and surgical procedures.

‘It’s the first one since I got to the dorms. I’ve never been this far away, and I can’t-‘ Sero’s voice chokes. He breathes deeply and continues ‘-I can’t calm down. I begged them to let me come home but they refused, said I need to see this UA thing through, do my own thing, all that.’

Bakugou continues to cook. The kitchen smells warm and spicy, and the sound of sizzling spices saturates the space between them, and he thinks he can sense Sero calm down a little.

‘I get it. I do. They're right and logically, I can accept that. I just. Fuck, this is horrible.’

Bakugou doesn’t offer any words of comfort or advice because what does he know? He has no idea what Sero is going through, and anything he says might sound insincere or plain insensitive. So instead, he cooks. He cooks the meat, mixes in the spices, and tastes the broth. He works fast and efficient, his movements practised. When it’s done, he plates up two bowls, and sets one in front of Sero, taking the seat next to him. Sero’s at the head of the table, so Bakugou ends up on his right.

Sero stares at the bowl and then looks up at Bakugou.

‘Mom makes me Mapo Tofu when I’m upset,’ he grumbles by way of an explanation. The blonde proceeds to douse his serving in extra chilli oil and peppercorns because he made the overall dish at a much more tolerable spice level. NOT for Sero or anything, just because. You know. For the fuck of it.

Sero stares at the bowl of food silently before picking up the spoon.

‘I haven’t told the rest because I couldn’t find a way to talk about it.’

Before Bakugou can figure out a way to respond to that, Sero continues, ‘I’m glad you know, is not so bad to have someone to talk to. Or at, I guess.’

Sero digs in, and after the first bite, his eyes light up.

‘Holy fuck,’ he breathes, ‘this is so good.’

Bakugou smirks, digging into his own bowl and humming in agreement. It’s probably the best Tofu he’s made so far.

‘Shit man,’ Sero says in between big bites, ‘I freaking love this. And you. But mostly this. But also, you. Like 65-35? Maybe 60-40.’

The blonde snorts and Sero’s grin gets wider. They eat in relative silence, with the occasional comment from Sero and the sounds of them kicking each other playfully under the table. When they’re done, Bakugou rinses the bowls in the sink and joins Sero on the couch in front of the TV. It’s gotten ridiculously late, but he doesn’t want to leave him alone.

Sero rubs the back of his neck. ‘I uh, I don’t want to go to my room right now.’

Bakugou leans over the couch, grabs two throw blankets from a bin nearby and flings the yellow one at Sero.

‘Play that cool documentary on speedcubing,’ he barks out, tucking himself under his own red blanket. Sero gives him a wide-eyed look before navigating to the right piece on Netflix. He gets comfortable under the throw, and they fall asleep to the sound of people solving Rubix cubes at inhumane speeds.

Shoji finds them like that in the morning and gently shakes them awake. Sero’s phone has a message from his parents, telling him everything’s alright, and that’s the only reason Bakugou forgives him for gathering the blonde in a big, warm hug before the sun is even up.

He crawls into his own bed 5 minutes later, and his heart feels lighter than ever.

Maybe an antacid will help with all of these stupid, horrid feels.

---

Bakugou doesn’t like people.

As a general rule of thumb, he dislikes them almost instantly. People are loud. They’re invasive, annoying, clingy, and they never smell good.

People are also cruel and selfish and use you as they please.

Bakugou doesn’t like people; until he comes to UA.

Because the people in UA are loud, invasive, annoying, clingy, and never smell great either.

But they’re kind. They’re smart, driven, capable, funny. They work hard, they play hard, and they’re mostly selfless. They don’t flock to him simply because he’s got a great quirk or something. Truth be told, they’re all pretty formidable themselves. Grossly underdeveloped and years away from being at his level, but Bakugou knows that with time, all of his classmates will reach insane heights. They wouldn’t be in UA otherwise.

So Bakugou tries. Mostly because his stupid squad won’t leave him alone, but he tries.

When people hang out in the common rooms, he’s downstairs with them. If there’s a stupid Christmas party, or it's someone’s birthday, or the class wants to go out shopping or to play in the pool, Bakugou tags along with them more often than not.

There is a compromise though. With a social battery as small and easily drained as his, it isn’t uncommon for the class to find Bakugou chilling in a corner with his headphones in, simply taking in the vibe rather than actively participating. There’s no bad blood over this though- they kinda get it. Not everyone is as friendly or as vibrant as Kirishima or Kaminari. They’re honestly just glad he’s there at all, so they do their best to make sure he’s included while letting him set his own pace.

Bakugou’s in one of his recharging phases when he spots Jirou.

The earphone jack hero is wandering around, looking a little worse for wear. There are people from both 1A and 1B milling around, talking and laughing in the common areas, and the energy in the room is almost stifling. The blonde doesn’t miss the way Jirou covers her ears at one point.

From what he can tell, Jirou is an ambivert. She enjoys the company of others often, but she’s also perfectly fine being on her own, with a book and some music to keep her company. Right now, she seems exhausted, her own social battery running dangerously low.

Bakugou catches her eye. She gives him a small wave and he sticks his tongue out at her, pulling the skin under his eye down on one side. It’s petty and dumb, but he sees her huff a laugh and slowly meander towards him. Bakugou goes back to closing his eyes and tipping his head back, enjoying the familiar texture of the common room couch and the sound of the music in his ears drowning out everything else.

He feels the couch dip next to him, close but not too close. Jirou doesn’t touch him, doesn’t bother him, doesn’t shake or poke or otherwise engage him. She just sits there, stock-still.

When his eyes slip open again, Bakugou sees that she’s got her hands in her lap and she’s mimicking his posture, comfortably seated on the couch with her head tipped back. Her signature headphones are nowhere in sight though, and her eyes are open and red.

Distantly, Bakugou wonders if she’s forgotten them. That would suck ass- he’d be lost without his own pair. And Jirou’s relationship with music is on a level no one else can fathom- it’s literally part of her DNA, her quirk, her identity.

Bakugou isn’t sure what compels him to do it- maybe it’s because they both like bugging the hell out of Kaminari. Maybe it’s because Jirou is no-nonsense when it comes to hero work, which he can respect. Maybe it’s because, beneath all the teasing and smart-ass comments, Jirou has often looked out for him, advocating for the need for personal space when the idiot brigade drains him.

Whatever the reason, Bakugou finds himself pulling out his right earbud and holding it out for her, a silent invitation.

It takes maybe 4 seconds for him to feel the bud lifted gently from his fingers. Jirou is careful to not jar his own earbud when she adjusts his in her right ear, and Bakugou moves to raise the volume a little.

It is a bit annoying, yes, to have one ear open to the noise around them, but it’s not unbearable- far from it. He’s got some reggae on right now, a genre he indulges in when he needs to calm down and just relax his body.

When he turns to look at her, Jirou’s got a smile on her lips. Her feet are tapping to the beat effortlessly, and her fingers are mapping out the tune on an invisible fretboard. She opens her eyes and looks over at Bakugou, and her smile widens, crinkling the edges of her eyes.

Thank you, she mouths, flashing him another blinding smile. It makes Bakugou huff.

‘Whatever,’ he murmurs under his breath. The look in her eyes could not be mistaken for anything else- unadulterated gratitude and a heavy dose of love.

These gooey feelings are going to give him an upset stomach, Bakugou’s calling it right now.

---

Bakugou doesn’t even notice the pattern till Kirishima points it out to him.

It goes a little something like this- Bakugou feels off during training, or maybe doesn’t do as well as he’d expected on a test or project, or something just doesn’t go right. So naturally, he’s in a piss poor mood.

The squad’s antics don’t do much for him then, doesn’t really raise his spirits or anything, and he usually goes back to his room, slamming his door shut and pacing around like a caged tiger.

And that’s when his phone rings. The caller ID reads Pikachu.

‘What the fuck do you want?’

‘Bakubrooooooooo,’ Kaminari croons, and Bakugou wants to break something.

‘Fuck of-‘

‘You ever wonder if cereal is soup?’

All the fight drains out of Bakugou, leaving only confusion in its place. ‘What?’

‘Yeah, I mean, is cereal like a sub-category of soup or something? Wouldn’t that make sense?’

‘Dunce-face, what the fuck? That doesn’t even make sense? You don’t cook cereal?’

‘Yes, but you could eat it with a soup spoon. That should count for something.’

‘I hate you. So much.’

‘Aww, love you too bro. Ok, gotta go, byee~’

Bakugou stares at his phone, shocked and confused and annoyed.

But no longer angry. No longer pacing about, no longer in a foul mood.

Another time, after a particularly bad bout of training, ending with aching forearms and snarls of frustration because he needs to get better but it’s not happening fast enough, Bakugou wants nothing more than to scream into a pillow and maybe eat some hot sauce.

Again, he gets a call from Kaminari.

‘Wha-‘

‘Do you ever just think about pizza and cry?’

‘Huh?’

‘Yeah, I mean, I think humanity reached its peak when it invented pizza, you know? And that makes me cry. Such perfection.’ He can picture Kaminari making a chef’s kiss gesture, and it pisses him off.

‘This is why you called me? Are you fucking with me?’

‘It’s really an honest question Bakubro. Don’t you ever tremble at the sheer magnificence of pizza?’

‘Delete my number.’

‘No can do. Gotta go, love you, bye!’

And again, he’s gone, just as quickly as he arrived. And again, Bakugou is left feeling baffled and miffed but no longer angry, no longer itching to scream and claw and break something.

He still eats some hot sauce though.

Kirishima is with him after one of his bad days, sitting on his bed and trying to pacify him.

‘It’s ok, it-‘

‘Shut up, Shitty hair! Fuck-‘ His hands tremble with the need to just do something, vent somehow, to break the tension in his spine. He doesn’t want to snap at Kirishima, which is why he never lets him tag along when he stomps away to his room after a bad day, but the redhead can be ridiculously caring sometimes and Bakugou doesn’t want to hurt him.

He doesn’t know what else to do though.

‘Shit, I- you need to leave, get out before I-‘

His phone rings. Pikachu, it says.

‘Dunce-‘

‘I’ve decided that, in the event of an apocalypse, you and I are teaming up together.’

‘Wha-‘

‘I know you’d much rather team up with Kirishima, cause he’s so strong and handsome and he’s your best friend, but he’ll be fine. I, on the other hand, will die immediately. So, it’s just you and me Blasty.’

‘Fuck right off, why would I-‘

‘We could name ourselves the atomic blondes.’ Kaminari suddenly makes a whooping noise. ‘Damn, that’s perfect Bakugou! I gotta print tee shirts right now, we’d look amazing.’

‘I am not wearing anything that matches you, miss me with that shit.’

‘I promise it’ll be black, and like, soft, with skull patterns or something.’

‘Fuck off.’

‘I gotta go anyway, but you’re stuck with me Bakubro. Anyway, bye, love you!’

They end the call, or rather, Kaminari cuts it before Bakugou can get an insult or two in there, and when he looks back at Kirishima, he sees a big, goofy smile on his face.

‘What?’ he grumbles, tossing his phone on his bed.

‘He does that often?’

‘What, call me and say really random, really stupid shit? Yeah, all the damn time. I need to block his ass.’

‘Kinda sweet though, huh?’

Bakugou cocks his head. ‘What’re you talking about? It’s a fucking pain.’

‘Yeah, but you don’t seem as mad anymore.’

‘I-‘ And yet again, Bakugou is disgruntled and confused and irritated at himself, for getting swept up by Kaminari’s pace, but he’s not angry. All the fight has mostly bled out of his limbs, and he feels more or less normal if only a little on edge. Nothing too difficult to deal with.

‘Son of a bitch,’ Bakugou breathes. Kirishima’s smile is a tad wider, and he scoots over on the bed, making some space for Bakugou while he pulls out his laptop, ready to load up some shitty videos.

‘Tell him about this and I will never speak to you again,’ Bakugou grumbles finally, settling in next to Kirishima, leaning most of his weight into the redhead.

He feels Kirishima’s chest rumble with laughter.

‘Your secret’s safe with me.’

Bakugou wonders if anyone’s ever tried to harness the power of feels to run turbines or some shit, because this stuff’s turning out to be overwhelmingly powerful.

---

In terms of quirk compatibility, Bakugou has found his perfect match in Kirishima.

The blonde’s quirk is perfect for offence. Granted, it’s exceptionally versatile and he can handle his own just fine, but with Kirishima, he feels invincible.

Red Riot is unmoving, unabashed, and utterly unbreakable. He knows Bakugou inside out, knows his moves, his tactics, his signals. They fight like a well-oiled machine, adjusting and improvising with ease. Fighting alongside Kirishima, alongside Red Riot, is like breathing. They almost dance around each other, and between taking down villains and conducting search and rescue, they’ve made themselves a formidable hero pair even before graduation.

So, it’s not uncommon for them to be paired up even when they’re working and interning under different heroes. They’re that good.

They’re on a mission together when things take a turn for the absolute worst.

Most of the pros are down, caught in the crossfire or too busy protecting the civilians to engage in combat. There are fires blazing everywhere, smoke congesting the air around them so much that Bakugou can barely breathe.

Riot stands next to him, breathing slightly laboured but otherwise unhurt. Bakugou has a cut on his forehead, blood running down his face, but he feels ok. Good enough to rush into battle and do his part in subduing these shitty villains.

But experience has taught him better than to run in with no plan, even when he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, eager to rush into the action. Experience has taught him that without a moment to catch his breath and restructure the plan to achieve their goals, he’ll be doing a lot more harm than good. It’s frustrating as all hell, but he’s a hero in training. You learn this stuff on the job.

‘What do you think?’ He asks the redhead.

Kirishima straightens out his back, hands on his hips. ‘The elemental quirk user will probably be the biggest pain in the ass.’

Bakugou nods. ‘It seemed like a water quirk. We need to get her away from the buildings, away from the piping. There was also that shitty smoke user, he’s the reason the air is barely breathable.’

‘Yao-momo’s masks would’ve come so in handy right now,’ Kirishima muses with a smile.

Bakugou grunts in begrudging agreement but doesn’t comment further on it. ‘There should be three other villains, all with high-level quirks. I’m not sure which other pros will free up to help, but we have to isolate them, move them towards the construction site,’ Bakugou points somewhat East of their current location, ‘as per the plan.’

Kirishima nods in agreement and catches Bakugou’s eyes and the blonde’s breath hitches.

They don’t talk about it, but here’s the other thing- they’re probably going to get hurt, maybe even fatally. Not because they’re weak or they want to or anything, but the villains seem endless. They’re fucking strong too, and even with an army of heroes, the villains seem to come at them harder and faster the longer this battle goes on. Bakugou can feel his own stamina start to vain, and he knows Kirishima will hit his limit too, slower than the blonde but still. There will come a point when Kirishima’s skin won’t harden and Bakugou’s blasts will lower in intensity till all he can manage are sparks.

And even then, he knows they will fight with their fists and their bodies and their teeth. That’s what heroes do- they put everything on the line, for the people and for justice.

More often than not, they lose their lives for it.

Well, for what’s it worth, Bakugou could not have asked for a better partner by his side in such shitty, dire times. Kirishima’s soft smile seems to reflect his sentiments.

‘Hey, Katsuki?’

The hero code of conduct frowns upon the use of personal names in costume. You have a hero name for a reason, and it helps preserve your sense of anonymity and privacy, even if it’s pretty useless at its job.

For Kirishima to name him, and first name him at that, just goes to show how serious the situation is.

‘Yeah, Ei?’

‘Make me some hotpot when we get back, ok?’

Bakugou inhales deeply, coughs because of the stupid smoke, and his fists clench tight enough to leave crescent moons in his palms.

‘Only if I’m in the mood, Shitty Hair,’ Bakugou retorts, his voice far too soft for the King Explosion Murder hero. But that’s ok- here is only Eijirou, Katsuki, and the world burning around them. Soft is ok here.

Kirishima’s familiar belly-deep laughter gives him a boost of energy.

‘Let’s kick some ass.’

Bakugou feels, for one glorious moment, like he can take on the entire world.

They take their first few steps before Kirishima steps in front of him, blocking off his path. When he looks up to catch his eyes again, the blonde’s protests and insults die in his throat.

Kirishima’s gaze is trained on him as he slowly reaches forward and grabs Bakugou’s right forearm with his right hand, fingers digging into the muscle. It’s a firm, solid grip, reassuring and warm and so very familiar. His eyes are bright, bold, and wine-red. And they’re so full of love, brimming with the kind of affection, respect, and adoration that Bakugou never thought he’d be subjected to. Kirishima opens his mouth as if to say everything his body is already telling Bakugou.

‘I know,’ Bakugou interrupts, voice hoarse. Because he does know. The redhead is his best friend in the entire world, his person, his rock. ‘I know, Ei.’ His own fingers wrap around Kirishima’s wide forearm, gripping tight with calloused, too hot fingers.

Kirishima flashes him another soft smile past his headgear before letting go. He waits for Bakugou to catch up and they walk together, side by side, equals.

When they see the first villain, doing her best to uproot an entire building, Bakugou casts one last look at Kirishima, sees his positively feral smile, and charges with the force of a wild beast.

There are no feels there, just adrenaline, rage, and trust so thick, even concrete would crack under its weight.

---

When you’re training to be a hero, things can go wrong.

Accidents happen. People don’t move out of the way fast enough, or there’s a domino effect of some sort, or the aftershocks of one attack reaches a place it shouldn’t.

Bakugou’s switched up his training partner, choosing to train with Iida to fine-tune his aim and work with a fast-moving target. His blasts hit the mark sometimes, but not always. The gym is huge, so they aren’t really risking anyone with their training; at least, that’s how it is for a while.

But then, Bakugou takes aim and blasts at Iida, Iida dodges swiftly, the attack takes out a portion of the rock formations in the gym, and suddenly there’s a landslide headed right at Hagakure and Kaminari.

Bakugou doesn’t even think about it; his body moves before his brain catches up, and he’s suddenly in front of the two, arms raised to obliterate the debris when he realizes that a portion of the mountain had been laced with explosives for someone else’s training, and his quirk would make things exponentially worse. With the last few moments he has, Bakugou shoves Chargebolt and Invisible Girl away roughly and gets buried under the avalanche of debris.

The last thing he thinks he hears is a chorus of voices yelling Bakugou before his vision goes black.

---

And that’s what Bakugou remembers when he wakes up to white. White walls, white curtains, white sheets.

Unfortunately, the noise isn’t white. It’s annoyingly and stupidly loud.

‘There are too many of you here,’ Recovery girl says, sounding exasperated. ‘He will be fine, he just needs to regain his strength.’

‘Sensei, a whole section of a mountain fell on him, how can he just be fine?’ Jirou questions, sounding severely distressed.

‘Plus, this happened while he was saving me,’ Kaminari chips in. ‘I’m not leaving him.’

‘I have a secret healing quirk of my own,’ Ashido bullshits. ‘He’ll feel so much better when he hears my voice. I have to stay, it’ll be a crime for me to go.’

‘I can tape his wounds?’ Sero offers sheepishly.

He can hear Recovery Girl’s sigh from the other end of the room. ‘And you?’

‘He’s my person.’ Kirishima says it like it’s enough of an explanation.

Recovery Girl clicks her tongue. ‘Overdramatic, the lot of you. Play rock paper scissors or something, but I’m only allowing one of you to stay. The rest of you are going back to the dorms.’

The room bursts into noise again and Bakugou’s head feels like it’s splitting open.  

‘HOLY FUCK, SHUT UP!’ The blonde roars from his bed. ‘I LOVE YOU GUYS, BUT IF YOU DON’T STOP YELLING, I WILL BODILY THROW YOU ALL OUT THE DAMN WINDOW.’

His own yelling does more harm than good to his throbbing head, but the noises stop completely so at least it did its job.

He’s alone for a blissful second before a crowd of five idiots surroundS his bed. Kirishima’s face peers into his, smile wide and eyes crinkled around the edges.

‘Hi, how you feeling?’

‘Like someone ran me through a garbage disposal and then put me in a microwave.’

‘Such details, much prose,’ Sero quips, earning him a chop from Ashido.

‘Blasty my love, can we do anything?’

‘Yeah, shut the fuck up and let me sleep.’

Jirou squeezes his calf from the foot of the bed. ‘You gave us a real scare there.’

‘I’m fine,’ Bakugou grumbles.

‘He will be,’ Recovery Girl reiterates, pushing them away and standing next to him. ‘I’ll do another bout of healing once you’ve recovered some of your strength. You can go back to the dorms before bed.’ She turns to his classmates. ‘Only one of you.’

They look at one another and everyone but Kirishima starts shuffling away reluctantly.

Kaminari lingers behind before quickly giving Bakugou a gentle hug. ‘Thanks,’ he whispers into his ear before pulling off and following after the others. Bakugou rolls his eyes and curls onto his side, yelping when he puts some weight on his tender side.

‘Easy,’ Kirishima mumbles, easing him onto his back. When Bakugou is finally comfortable, Kirishima drags one of the chairs lined up against the wall next to the bed and plops down, exhaling. Bakugou opens a tired eye to look at him and sees Kirishima with a stupidly smug smile on his face.

‘What?’

‘You love us, huh?’

Bakugou had hoped they hadn’t caught that, even though he’d screamed it loud enough for the entire building to have heard. Apparently, a cliff falling on you doesn’t stop you from blushing.

‘Fuck off, you were hearing things,’ he says anyway, because what is Bakugou if not in full denial about so many things?

Kirishima’s laugh is loving not mocking, and he puts his hand on Bakugou’s elbow.

‘Good to have you back Kats.’ He gives it a gentle squeeze. ‘Get some rest huh? I’ll be here when you wake up.’

Bakugou gives him a weak glare, but he can’t muster enough rage and anger because the absolute worst part is, he meant it. Because apparently being a rage-filled hero in training doesn’t make one impervious to feels.

Bakugou feels so betrayed by his own thoughts and emotions.

But right as he loses consciousness, he finds himself wondering if he minds all that much and he decides he doesn’t, almost not at all. The answer doesn’t really surprise him either.

He falls asleep to a cool breeze brushing over his skin and the sound of Kirishima humming under his breath.

#boku no hero bakugou #boku no hero academia #boku no hero headcanons #bnha #mha #my hero academia #bakusquad #bakusquad shenanigans #katsuki bakugou #kirishima eijirou #bnha ashido #sero hanta #denki kaminari #jirou kyouka #jirou is in the bakusquad #bonding #bakusquad bonding #fluff #so much fluff #and so many feels #all the feels TBH #this is platonic kiribaku but also who am i kidding looooool #bakugou has his potty mouth #but he's trying ya'll #supportive squad

[touchmycoat]

For your 679 fic (which btw is fantastic and painful), do you have headcanon about why LQG and SJ are so at odds? I definitely got vibes that SJ was jealous of YQY and LQG's relationship and it sounded like they spent a decent amount of time together even if it was just sparring.

THANK YOU MY DEAR <3 and hell yeah, what an absolutely juicy ask

SJ loves to front, right? He's a teeming cauldron of bad temper and insecurities—i'll need to review the canon content in the extras but maybe the first time LQG gets on his nerves is a public correction. I'm thinking something like, the Old Masters are holding a public forum of sorts and the Head Disciples are all there to learn and participate. The Qing Jing Peak Lord poses a dilemma and asks for SJ's solution, which is masterful and well-articulated. Before the Qing Jing Peak Lord can approve though, the Baizhan Peak Lord tosses the same question to LQG, who gives a more incisive, experienced response.

There's got to be class and privilege stuff all entwined, so the way SJ sees it, the posed dilemma was not something he could've possibly experienced, having been born on the streets. Nobody gives him a hard time for it or anything, but he still feels upstaged and mocked—就結下樑子了, and a grudge is born. He finds LQG arrogant, and thinks all LQG does is sit cushy in his privilege.

Then there's the competition/spar. The only thing SJ hates more than losing is losing in front of so many witnesses—again, nobody's really giving him shit for losing to the rising star of Baizhan, but he just doesn't think LQG deserves all those compliments and all that success! The only reason LQG's good at fighting is 'cause he was born into it after all; prodigies aren't born, they're paid for. If SJ had anything like LQG's 後台, he'd have no fucking competition at all. LQG embodies everything SJ hates and hates that he doesn't have, so gradually, everything he does in LQG's presence becomes barbed and pointed.

LQG's perspective, on the other hand, is this: he loves and lives for fighting, and as he's taking down senior after senior on Baizhan, there's another formidable opponent rising to the top of Qiong Ding. He's sparred with YQY and admires how in the arena, YQY's attention is completely fixed on improving himself. Other people get caught up in the winning and losing (cough SJ cough), and LQG does not care for that kind of attitude at all. And as he gets to know YQY, he likes YQY more and more. He admires YQY's social graces and how earnestly attentive YQY is toward fellow disciples. He loves and trusts this man for be his commander.

Then one day, SQQ shows up, and YQY...changes. LQG has said to YQY once or twice before that there's no need for all that patience, but now it's dialed up to eleven. All he sees is YQY's 苦口婆心 and SJ's 不領情, and he just doesn't understand why YQY is wasting all this time on someone so unappreciative.

Then SJ starts targeting him in particular—and LQG never meets a fight he doesn't swing a fist at. The rest is history.

But yeah, LQG and SJ are just a pair of vicious contrasts. LQG fights to win but doesn't let losing get to him (see: challenging and losing to LBH for five years), SJ will let one loss fester and hold a grudge about it for the rest of his life. LQG doesn't know betrayal and puts out his loyalty, SJ knows nothing but betrayal and jealously guards his loyalty. SJ hates losing face and resents the fact that losing face just doesn't seem to be something that happens to LQG. LQG hates petty, snide, passive-aggressive jabs (because why do all that when you can just have a straightforward fight) while SJ is 1) a foul-tempered mess, and 2) willing to use every tool at his disposal to survive.

SJ's actions are coming out of his PTSD and unresolved resentments, while LQG has the luxury of not knowing why SJ has to act the way he does.

And I mean, I fucking love romance and misunderstanding tropes. LQG and YQY have standing spars, but one day, SJ (unknowingly) steals YQY for one session. People whisper about it, YQY doesn't explain it, LQG frowns about it, SJ gets defensive. YQY lends SJ his old sparring sword (an item of minor fame among the disciples due to Yue-shixiong's overwhelming strength), SJ refuses to use it, LQG grabs it during a spur-of-the-moment fight and ends up breaking it, YQY only sees it broken, SJ doesn't want to explain that LQG breaks it because that would sound like he gives a crap about YQY's feelings, YQY cancels on LQG to go on a long mission he hadn't wanted to take before, LQG misunderstands and thinks YQY is upset with him bc he'd broken something YQY had given to SJ (where YQY had never been upset at LQG before for broken stuff).

Anyways, the narrative rule is, LQG always misunderstands SJ's actions, assuming worst intent, and SJ always resents explaining himself, because why the fuck should he.

#679 #asks #anon #liujiu #also LQG has no patience for social niceties and finds SQQ fake as fuck #SQQ's purpose in socializing always seems to be trying to climb up #LQG and SQQ simply do not play the same game #SQQ loses the game if he doesn't play but LQG doesn't have to play at all to win #and SQQ resents him for that #also i've been binging chinese novels so lsjdkfasd my head is just filled with sparklers of little chinese phrases that keep popping up

[funkymbtifiction]

About the Enneagrammer videos: I've watched all of them and I was honestly laughing when it came to Tom because eventhough I spotted his 2 core instantly, he's being SO SUPER subdued by his 9 that it's really comical to me when they described him so "pushy" while I would have desribed him as "mellow and nice". (I'm way more lively than him which probably translates as "extremelly pushy" to them *lol*) I mean the 4 cringed by the closeness of the hugs he gave which again, is pretty funny to me when I use hugging and physical touch as a sign of affection. I think that some of them having their heart fixes last doesn't help too much, especially with 2s because we tend to be feelers and their stacking drives them to super analyse everything in an almost pure 'head-spacey" way (almost). I do find that helpful though because they can articulate in a way that's more precise what I'm thinking about a person because to me most things are just 'feelings' and "vibes" and "I just know" while they actually break it down so it can be a quick learning experience that can help people making more solid arguements about typing and knowing "what to look for" faster. Just don't be offended guys, they honestly don't mean bad for any type and if you listen to them long enough you'll know their "connections" to each type and that they actually "trash" every single type if you want to see it from that angle, so try to see where they're coming from each time they say something :)

He's also sp/so and you're not. Sp/So, as I'm finding out, is way more standoffish and a little bit more private than So/Sp, or So/Sx, or Sx/So, so even as an outgoing 2, he's still somewhat withdrawn in his energy.

I thought the funniest thing in the entire video was the remarks on ENTP Jeff Goldblum's "cringe-levels" of so/sx 972, because as much as I like him, he really does have this "creepy uncle" vibe. He touches everyone and everything constantly and will get right up close to someone, practically in their face. If you've ever seen Criminal Intent, he was flirting with the entire cast the whole time and invading their bubbles. He has no sense of personal boundaries whatsoever. xD

#jeff goldblum #enneagram #enneagrammer

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: purple lilac (shine a little love) 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: usui masumi/gn! reader (not director) 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.3k+ words

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: basically masumi working up to a confession  𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this was a normal fic which got combined with a flower fic, hence the alt title. full a/n + dedications at the end of the fic.

It was strange. He was being strange, or at least that was what he thought of himself. Even with his headphones positioned atop his head, blasting one of his favourite songs in the playlist, he found it difficult to block out his thoughts. Specifically, his thoughts of you.

You shine a little love on my life You shine a little love on my life You shine a little love on my life And let me see

Masumi was surprised by himself. When it came to Izumi, he had always been vocal about his adoration for her, romantic or otherwise. Previously, he had little to no issue with bombing her with (ultimately pushed aside) proposals, (not taken seriously) confessions, (failed attempts to give her) gifts on days that weren’t even special occasions;

yet he couldn’t so much as speak up on his growing affection for you.

Having approached him for the pure intention of wanting to be friends, with enough persistence it wasn’t very difficult for you to worm into his heart, different from the rest in the sense that it was something beyond the friendship he’d slowly come to know during his stay in the dorms.

“Family, then?” when he expressed those feelings to you some months ago, you quickly turned away from him, gaze avoidant as you closed your eyes. It was a befuddling reaction, but it seemed like you were just taking your time to think before coming to a conclusion.

“Family…” he repeated those words to you, testing out how it sounded but more importantly, testing out the idea of family with you in the equation.

“Yeah, like siblings or something… oh, nevermind! Guess I won’t be calling you onii-chan~ any time soon.”

He must have cringed visibly, because you were quick to laugh it off and bounce back with a different topic ready at the tip of your tongue.

Family and siblings were an entirely different thing.

Masumi hoped you didn’t take it the wrong way, that you took it as him not liking you enough to be on the same level as the Spring troupe or even the other actors in Mankai Company… he wouldn’t spend so much time talking to you otherwise, but there was no way in hell he could see you in the same light as Sakuya or Tsuzuru, or heaven forbid Chikage or Sakyo. Gross. Just imagining himself being all affectionate with the latter two makes him sick in the stomach.

Remember, tonight We're gonna say, we'll never stop We got a good thing going on

Hours after that conversation and finally in the comfort of his room, he pressed his face against his pillow, finally coming to the realization that he was thrust upon a familiar situation once again, similar and yet all the more scarier.

Masumi wasn’t the type of person to joke around or play with someone’s feelings, you knew that well. The moment he finally articulated into words how he felt for you, then everything would change.

Would you feel the same? Yes or no?

He didn’t want to ruin anything.

So he lets the months pass by and though he remains mostly quiet about it, his actions speak differently. He neither wanted to just sit quietly and wait for his feelings to go away (they weren’t any time soon, by the way things were looking), nor was he about to wait for you to make the first move (you didn’t look like you had any plans to). The nosier guys in the dorm quickly found out and tried to help him, but he’d this time… he’d rather just do things his way.

Making you a playlist of songs he thought you’d like, offering to help you pick out new earphones after you broke your old ones, late night calls and messages.

It wasn’t like there was no pay off either.

Everything he’d do, you’d respond in kind.

A day after he sent you his playlist, you quickly followed up with one of your own, a playlist of songs that made you think of him, apparently, and with your words alone you rendered a blush out of him, not that you were physically there to see it. However, his roommate looked far too amused for his liking.

Then you wanted to test your new earphones by sharing the two pieces between yourselves, and though he was more of a headphones guy there was something heart fluttering about the distance (or lack thereof) between the two of you, shoulders pressed together as you listened to the same song (coincidentally, a song from the playlist he made for you).

And on the nights that he chose to stay up with Tsuzuru as the latter wrote the night away, you’d be there a call away, keeping him company for as long as you could before eventually falling asleep. Your steady and quiet breaths, a telltale sign of your slumber, warming his heart as he lingered for a few more seconds before ending the call.

Even if you somehow got the hint and tried reciprocating, as Muku and Kazunari so often insist, nothing would be official until one of you said something.

I know you've heard it all before But I really need you, darling Every day, I need you more

“Do you know about flower language, Masumi-kun?” Tsumugi asked him, on the way home after doing street acts together all afternoon.

He was being pretty sus. Normally Izumi would decide for them, but Tsumugi had specifically requested for the two of them to be a pair under the guise of having a specific idea for an improv, which while interesting wasn’t exactly groundbreaking.

“Only a little bit.”

Tsumugi hummed in response, and the younger boy couldn’t help but wonder what the Winter troupe leader was up to.

“Not everyone expresses their feelings the same way. Flowers are a good example– it’s indirect and subtle at first glance, but the gesture and meaning of whatever you choose make your feelings clear as day.”

Though his nonchalant tone implied otherwise, wasn’t his small talk actually a disguise for something else?

He’d been pretty doubtful of the “confession techniques” suggested to him by the others, from a poem (he’d rather just straight up confess) to a kabedon (wouldn’t that just confuse you?) to getting down on one knee and– (a proposal?);

Coming from Tsumugi, however, the suggestion didn’t seem that bad. Actually, you might like it– he didn’t doubt that you’d at least appreciate both the aesthetic and thought put behind the present.

“What if they don’t get it?” although the blue haired man’s smile remained perfectly serene, but something hidden within his eyes spoke volumes about his true intentions.

“Then you either, A, explain out loud and confess, B, tell them to look up the flowers online, or C, mix some red roses within the bouquet. Nothing’s more obvious than red roses.”

Tsumugi’s pace slowed to a stop, looking somewhere thoughtfully. Even without glancing back, the flowery scent quickly invaded his senses. Taking this route home… even this much was planned, then?

“Masumi-kun, is it okay if we take a look here before going home?”

Can you understand (yes, I understand) Can you feel it's right (I know it is) Will you be the same (I'll do it all again)

When he presents you the bouquet he’s chosen, you make the same expression you did all those months ago, shut eyes and head turned sideways. The only striking difference being the red patched across your face, matching one of the flowers in the bundle of 12.

The sight gives him more confidence, squashing some of his nervousness and giving him the courage to keep talking.

“The meaning of the red roses should be obvious, but you said you liked purple so I added lilacs to the bouquet, too… I thought you’d find them pretty. Do you like it?”

You peeked at him first, before focusing your gaze on the red and purple ensemble as you stumbled to say yes. Cute… if you keep acting this cute, he’ll just buy you flowers every day, then. Anything to get you this flustered again.

You shine a little love on my life You shine a little love on my life You shine a little love on my life And let me see

“Then, do you like me back?”

“ thank you for your hard work today at the flower shop! here, feel free to take home this purple lilac with you~ ”

【 purple lilac 】 represent the beginning of love or a first love, and are a perfect gift for new couples

“ maybe you’d like some more flowers before heading home? ”

-ˋˏflower series masterlistˎˊ- |  -ˋˏregular fic masterlistˎˊ-

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: for inspiration I listened to progressive rock bands, and I honestly… really vibed with them. Electric Light Orchestra was one of the bands I liked most. the meaning of this song is different, but I decided to just pick and choose the lyrics that have a more innocent/pure pining connotation, please don’t fight me progressive rock fans ue ue.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i realized that going “hey, this fic is dedicated to xyz” kind of put off people from reading huhu, even though i still made sure it was written to be readable by anyone so i’ll just put all the dedications below huhu. again i apologize if you didn’t get your favourite character huhu

𝐝𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: aish, ☔M~, lyd

#a3! #a3 #a3! x reader #masumi usui #masumi usui x reader #cafe: dessert menu #nathya's flower shop #a3! act! addict! actors! #usui masumi #a3! masumi #act! addict! actors! #reader insert

[all-hail-the-witcher]

jaskier’s breakup album

alright full disclosure i probably went into way more detail than i needed to. but jaskiers a dramatic little shit and therefore so am i. but this album slowly became my baby and I've been listening to it for the last 2 weeks while I've been doing homework and its a good sad bop. these are just my opinions, but i think it would be cool to see what other people think (esp because im fairly new to this fandom). also this post is really long. sorry about that. 

so. we all know jaskier is a bard. he traipses around writing songs about whatever fling he's having or about his witcher. netflix canon makes it pretty clear that geralt is one of jaskiers muses (and probably one of his more reliable ones given what we know about jaskiers dating history). jaskier is also very, very dramatic (as I'm sure everyone knows cause he's the damn comic relief that show desperately needs). in particular though the scene at the beginning of 1x05 where geralt is djinn hunting and jaskier stumbles upon him, drunk, singing off key, and rambles about how "the countess de stael, my muse and beauty of this world, has left me. again. rather coldly and unexpectedly, i might add. i fear i shall die a broken hearted man” and jaskier is clearly half muttering some sad attempt at a breakup song he's trying to write at the beginning of the episode so the question is, wouldn't he do the same thing post mountain scream down with geralt?

the answer is of course, yes he would because jaskier is nothing if not a dramatic little shit. and i am proposing that he writes not only one but an entire album (or set if this is canon era, but if this is canon i think he would keep a great many of these songs to himself, only playing a few select ones with the hopes that someday geralt will hear one and realize how badly he fucked up) of break songs and lamentations about geralt, because say all you want about what their relationship is, but one does not simply go traipsing around the entire continent with someone for 20 years and not grow close to them in some way shape or form (and the show makes it clear that geralt is at least one of jaskiers close friends so). now what is on this breakup album? well I'm glad you asked.

i peg jaskiers music (modern or canon honestly) for this album as being a combination of taylor swift’s folklore/evermore albums and james arthur and ill explain why. 

taylor swifts folklore/evermore albums have this almost ethereal, floaty, reminiscent, indie vibes. there are many metaphors, recurring themes and its overall kinda dramatic at points which i feel is exactly what jaskier would be doing right now (it also just kinda gives me canon era vibes, idk). but james arthurs music is much more emotionally intense which i think is definitely in character for jaskier at this point because he strikes me as someone who copes with things through his music. both artists do the sings through story telling in an almost monologue manner which goes along with that kinda bardic music and all that. i also think that jaskier would want geralt to know that these songs are about him because hes dramatic like that (kinda like how taylor swift writes her stuff). anyway here's what i think would be on his breakup album: 

heres a link to the playlist

1. the lakes - taylor swift 2. from me to you i hate everybody - james arthur 3. maybe - james arthur 4. sad eyes - james arthur 5. hoax - taylor swift 6. naked - james arthur 7. right where you left me - taylor swift 8. all too well - taylor swift 9. impossible - james arthur 10. exile - taylor swift 11. illicit affairs -taylor swift 12. safe inside - james arthur 13. quite miss home -james arthur 14. my tears ricochet  -taylor swift 15. phoenix - james arthur 16. this is me trying - taylor swift  17. happiness - taylor swift 18. death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 19. empty space - james arthur 20. coney island - taylor swift 21. new years day - taylor swift 22. the 1 -taylow swift

so theres 22 songs which im sure jaskier would do on purpose cause hes a dramatic little shit ( “one song for every year i wasted on you” or something of that sort). jaskier being a dramatic little shit is going to be a recurring theme. some of them work better for modern era than canon era but as a whole this can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic. anyway lets unpack. 

1. the lakes by taylor swift (more canon era interpretation)

this song is the bonus and final track off of folklore. the song is actually about how she wants to go live in seclusion with her boyfriend out of the public eye but that is not what it means in this interpretation. i think that this song is about how jaskier feels as though his career as a bard is tainted now because he spent so many years singing geralts praises and there is no way he will be able to escape that part of his life because undoubtedly hes going to get requests for toss a coin and others he wrote about geralt and people will probably know him as “the witchers bard”. so this song is him talking about how he wants to run away and live out his life in seclusion because geralt took from him one of the only happinesses in his life. 

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse 

the line “i dont belong and my beloved neither do you” references the fact that jaskier feels like an outcast now that he’s spent years traveling around with a witcher, notoriously outcasts from society, so he feels that he doesnt belong anymore either.

I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow Right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here

the second stanza references his idealization of living out his life in solitude, with nature, where no one can judge him (and geralt cant yell at him). 

jasper would have started this album with that song because it states his intentions: he feels as though he’s done with singing. it could also refer to him leaving the public eye (in modern era) to write this album.

2. from me to you i hate everybody by james arthur (more canon era interpretation) 

songs 2-4 on jaskiers album are ones that he wrote at various points while he and geralt were still together/best friends/etc. these three songs establish what the relationship was like before everything went downhill, but they are kind of melancholy, like looking back on a past love (which is what jaskier is doing). this one jaskier wrote about when they met. geralt would have heard him play it before and he would have known that this song was about him (he probably also secretly liked it and jaskier putting it on his album would have been like a slap in the face because it wasn't one that he had shared with other people, thinking it to be too personal). if this album had been released in modern era, jaskier would have released this song as a single to get geralts attention. he would have definitely wanted geralt to know that this album was about him. 

I used to come here on my own and drink So I didn't have to think or hear the whispering I stand with people telling lies again In suits and ties again and I just need a friend

they meet in the tavern and its clear that jaskier is Not having a good time and really just needs a friend, hence why he decides to go talk to geralt.

You walked into the room and cut the atmosphere like a knife, alright Sobering mind 'cause up to now, I've just been wasting my time, ooh yeah

the “wasting my time” part is of particular interest because it clearly articulates that jaskier feels as though adventuring around with geralt was the best part of his life and before that he'd just been a bard with debatable songs. the song as a whole makes it sound like geralt was jaskiers lifeline.

3. maybe by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song, while geralt would know immediately it was about him, was not one jaskier ever shared with geralt. it would have been written a few years after he and geralt had met initially. the reason that jaskier never shared it was because it talks about destiny and geralt made it Very Clear that he does not want to fuck with destiny.

I don't know what's going on Where you came from and why you took so long All I know is that I feel it Like it's the realest thing, I mean it Something changed when I saw you Oh, my eyes can't lie You said, "They're so damn blue And I love how you're so forward Is it too soon to say I'm falling?"

this would have been what young jaskier felt over the course of a few years after traveling around (or befriending if this is modern). There was probably a slip up somewhere, or jaskier just thought that he got really good at interpreting geralts grunts and the line about the eyes is what he hoped/imagined/thought geralt was saying to him in return. 

So maybe Maybe we were always meant to meet Like this was somehow destiny Like you already know Your heart will never be broken by me So is it crazy For you to tell your friends to go on home? So we can be here all alone Fall in love tonight And spend the rest of our lives as one

jaskier probably thinks that destiny is some wildly romantic thing hence why he compares them meeting to destiny. the line about heart break would have also hit especially hard after the mountain scene. also i think its pretty clear that jaskier wants to spend as much of his life traipsing around with geralt in the show (modern era wouldn't have been any different), hence wanting to spend the rest of his life with geralt. 

Oh, is it too crazy For you to tell your brothers about me? They told me they'll protect you But I'll look them in the eye Tell them you and I will be as one

this is the part that sells it for me. i think that geralt lambert and eskel would all be very close (admittedly i havent read the books but i kinda get that vibe from the fandom so). this part about geralt telling his bothers about jaskier and then jaskier probably meeting them would have been an Important Moment. 

4. sad eyes by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

aright so im not sure if geralt has heard this one before. i can see it going both ways. its a possibility that jaskier wrote it at some point and then would kinda sing it softly when hes patching geralt up after a particularly rough hunt so its one of those where like geralts not quite sure what the song is but then he hears it on this album (cause say this was modern era and jaskier actually did release this album geralt would totally buy it after a few weeks and then realize how badly he'd actually fucked up) and is like shit thats what he was singing all along?? but anyway this one is essentially about how jaskier thinks geralt puts too much pressure on himself and all that stuff

You wear the burden World on your shoulders, babe So let me hold the weight I know you're hurting Deep as the coldest pain But this is the order sayin'

essentially jaskier can see through geralts bs and hes calling him out on it and wants him to just take care of himself for once (see: the scene in 1x05 when geralt says he cant sleep) 

5. hoax by taylor swift (canon or modern works)

so this song begins the plethora of break up songs that jaskier wrote about geralt. this one would have been written some time after the incident, after jaskier has some time to reflect on the whole thing. i know that taylor wrote this  song about enduring a toxic relationship, which kind of works if you think about the way that geralts treated jaskier and how jaskier interpreted it (but im not implying that their relationship was toxic or abusive or anything) 

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire

jaskiers plan was to reinvent geralts image and geralt did not think that it was worth it. jaskier is just sorta his side kick (who gets him into trouble, as geralt points out) and geralt kicks him aside like he doesnt mean anything to him (like ash from a fire

Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do

this is a little more literal with the screaming on the cliffside. jaskier wanted a reason to stay and geralt didnt want him to. jaskier knows that witchers dont feel emotions (or at least not like humans do) so hes been tricking himself into believing that geralt actually liked having him around, knowing that it was probably going to blow up in his face at some point. but he doesnt quite regret it, and doesnt want to be sad over anyone else.

6. naked by james arthur (modern or canon works)

this kind of goes along with hoax, jaskier probably wrote them around the same time. he’s admitting in this song that he would be willing to try to work it out with geralt, but geralt needs to change first (needs to actually communicate and let him in and all that stuff). 

'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can But all you ever do is mess it up Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear That getting half of you just ain't enough

hes quoting geralts words back at him here ( “all you ever do is mess it up” is pretty similar to the line about shoveling shit), saying that all hes ever tried to do is be good and kind to geralt, but geralt hasn't really done the same in return and while jaskier may have dragged him into some things, geralt also needs to take responsibility for what hes done as well. 

7. right where you left me (modern or canon works)

this starts the Real Sad Boy Hours songs. this would refer to how he felt pretty much right after, not knowing what to do because geralt had been so much a part of his life for so long: 

Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight" I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

this is kind of the processing of the event. and also the moment on the album where the audience would realize that this relationship that he's been telling about until now definitely ended. this song isn't super super emotional, its more a jumble of thoughts cause he didnt know what to feel after the breakup happened. although he didnt write it right after the break up, it was written much after as a looking back.

8. all too well by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

(the link to this one is from a live performance because i like the emotion in this one better) so this song is not off of folklore (its off of red) but its such a powerful, painful breakup song that i had to include it in the lineup because it seems like something that jaskier would have written very very soon after the incident. the memories especially that she touches on in the song (driving upstate, dancing in the fridge light, looking at the photo album, etc) are all very powerful and real and i can see jaskier doing the same thing. again, if this were modern era i think that he might release this one as a single. theres so much to unpack in this song, this ones gonna be a little longer oops.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

this clearly references the mountain scene. they were a pretty good duo until geralt blamed him for all his problems. and jaskier was effectively stuck on the top of a very dangerous mountain that he would have had to navigate down by himself. 

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

jaskier spent half of his life following geralt around, its likely that he doesnt know what to do with himself or his life now that he doesnt have geralt to follow around on adventures. he doesnt know what to do anymore (see the first song).

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

this is more of a hope that jaskier has. he hopes that geralts held onto something of his that he left behind. maybe he left a shirt in one of roaches saddle bags (canon) or a notebook in their apartment (modern) that geralt just cant seem to get rid of. he would like to think that he had an impact on geralts life and that it wasn't just all for nothing. in the beginning, he wants geralt to be just as hurt as he is.

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

this is a dig at geralt. he'd never had someone to follow him around on adventures before, much less a human. as far as we know it seems like jaskiers the first human that has even given him the time of day. this is jaskiers way of throwing it back in geralts face

9. impossible by james arthur (canon or modern works) 

this would have also been written very soon after the incident. it is more jaskier being mad at himself for not seeing the signs than him being mad at geralt. it is almost like his admittance of the event and like hes finally accepting what happened.

I remember years ago Someone told me I should take Caution when it comes to love, I did And you were strong and I was not My illusion, my mistake I was careless, I forgot, I did

jaskier is someone who clearly falls in love (or at least screws around with people) easily so its likely that someone would have given him some advice along these lines once. but when he met geralt its likely that this caution went to the wind. 

When all is done, there is nothing to say And if you're done with embarrassing me On your own you can go ahead, tell them

Tell them all I know now Shout it from the rooftops Write it on the skyline All we had is gone now Tell them I was happy And my heart is broken All my scars are open Tell them what I hoped would be impossible

this hints at the first song on the album. jaskier has no stomach for singing for audiences asking to hear about the adventures of geralt of rivia. this is his way of telling geralt that, almost as his punishment, he should have to deal with the people who ask why hes not traveling with his bard anymore, because jaskier has no intention of doing so. this is pretty brutal because (as we know) geralt doesnt really enjoy talking about feelings, or talking at all in general.

10. exile by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a fictitious conversation that jaskier wrote as occurring between him and geralt. it can be looked at either way but i think it makes more sense if bon iver is jaskier and taylor is geralt. 

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

this first chorus is from jaskiers perspective. note the use of “homeland,” as home becomes a theme on jaskiers album. in geralts version of the chorus the line instead is “youre not my problem anymore” which is probably what jaskier took the whole mountain thing to mean. 

All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

(the () in this are geralt) this is jaskiers lamentations about how he didnt notice geralts abject discomfort in their relationship and also his regrets in not being able to remedy the situation. 

11. illicit affairs by taylor swift (modern or canon works) 

so this song is clearly and obviously about an affair. however, i have seen interpretations of the song where people view it as being in a relationship that is  so intense and well hidden that in a sense it is almost like an affair, like in the aftermath you’re not even sure if it was real or you deemed it because there isnt really a trace of this other person anymore, and that is the way i think jaskier would have written this song. 

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

the dont call me kid, dont call me baby part would reference jaskiers humanity, he has a normal human lifespan at least in canon (very much unlike geralt) so geralt might brush him off as being young and stupid. jaskier would have made this album to show geralt that hes not being young and stupid, that this did screw him up, and hes suffering cause of it. kind of like a reality check or a slap in the face.

Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

the secret language would of course refer to geralt himself. hes a hard man to understand (especially cause half his vocabulary is grunts) and hes also a witcher. so jasper had to learn to understand him and now he has no use for that anymore. and the ending line about ruining myself. that would be jaskiers admittance that he would do it again, he'd do it all again, which comes back up in later songs.

12. safe inside by james arthur (canon era interpretation)

this is one that jaskier would have written maybe a week or so after the incident. the song itself deals with distance and coping with not being in someones life anymore, and i think that that is something that jaskier would struggle to cope with because hes not sure he wants geralt to be alone. this song is more for jaskier than for geralt. 

Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life

obviously geralt can take care of himself, but its kinda clear that he doesnt much like his life as a witcher (the part where he talks about them getting slow and killed). so this is kind of jaskiers way of almost reminding geralt that his life on the path is still beautiful and important now that he back by himself. 

Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

this is more jaskier worrying about geralt being by himself. he hopes that hes okay in the aftermath of this this and that hes taking care of himself still. because of course jaskier would write a whole breakup album but still write one song about how he hopes the person is doing well.

13. quite miss home by james arthur (modern era interpretation)

this song. oh my god. its so amazing. if you dont listen to any of these, at least listen to this one (actually im pretty sure no ones read to this point so if you have thanks). this song is kind of more along the same vein as the previous one, how jaskier misses geralt but its more for him than geralt. he would have probably written it at like 3am in a fit of tears and weakness, and debated long and hard about whether or not to put it on the album, but done it anyway because what does he have to lose? theres a lot to unpack here tho so this is going to be a longer one. (sorry)

I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside You're careful not to let the smoke inside I always tell you it's poison But I know it helps you take the edge off the day We get a drink before it's closing time The one on high street with the blinking sign All these memories feel poignant I won't be there to see the snow melt away

this is a very very clear picture of an event that seems to have happened a great many times, so much so that it seems like second nature. its like a little glimpse into what their life was before this incident. its intimate, but it still is melancholy.

Whoa I'm in another city I got nobody with me And it just really hit me

this is where jaskier is now, it provides some opposition. its like a culture shock almost, like hes so used to this intimate lifestyle with another person that its jarring to be by himself.

That I quite miss home And I miss you telling me To leave my shoes at the door 'Cause you just swept the floor And the dirt drives you crazy Yeah, I quite miss home 'Cause it feels like poetry When the rain falls down on the window While you're in my arms And we're watching the TV Yeah, I quite miss home

the key here is what jaskier is referring to as “home.” it's not the place, its geralt himself. all these memories center around him, not an establishment. (calling geralt “home” comes back in later songs.) again, this mosh of memories is like theres so many of them that its almost overwhelming but its stemming from jaskiers need to feel something other than lonely and hes craving this reality that hes lost.

14. my tears ricochet by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a song that really emphasizes jaskiers dramatic little shit tendencies. this is something that he wrote, trying to predict what geralts reaction would be if he found out that jaskier died. this is really just jaskier fantasizing that geralt didnt actually mean any of what he said and does still care about him. theres many lines in here that are jabs at geralt (if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? and Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?), but i think this is the most important one:

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

this is again, jaskier referring to geralt as home. as seen in the last song, he clearly wants to go there, but he cant. this could also refer to where he grew up, which he cant go to either because his parents still view him as a disappointment (as seen in finally). jaskier saying he still talks to geralt is completely in character, he probably still curses him and the whole thing. but the part about geralt not being able to sleep at night and hearing his stolen lullabies is really hard hitting. jaskier likes to think that geralt wouldn't be able to sleep without his banter or his lute playing or something of that nature. over all its a very powerful song.

15. phoenix by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

this is a fictitious apology that jaskier wrote from geralts pov, kind of what he wished that geralt would say, but knows that he won't. 

Let me, let me begin Let me begin, with an I.O.U Who I owe everything to Lately, lately my friend Lately, you think I'm ignoring you But I've been trying to pull through All of the pain, I know you're looking down, down on me I could have been someone I hurt everyone Pushed away everyone who got near

in this “geralt” outlines what he did wrong, and that he didnt mea what he said at all. again, this is more for jaskiers benefit because he knows that even if geralt were to apologize to him, it wouldn't be to this extent.

16. this is me trying by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is jaskier trying to articulate the fact that hes trying to pick himself back up after everything, his way of showing his “healing process” and that he can do it, he doesnt need geralt (as the song shows, its not going very well)

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying

its showing that jaskier is having trouble enjoying things that he once did (like parties) because hes still so distraught over what happened with geralt, but at the same time he also wants to show geralt that he doesnt need him. it has a very i dont care kind of attitude, but jaskier at the same time is having a hard time showing geralt that hes doing okay, hence the “maybe i dont quite know what to say” which is out of character for the very talkative bard

17. happiness by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is more him convincing himself that things will be okay. he's clearly trying at this point to move on, but its proving difficult because geralt was his happiness for so long:

There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness

he also repeats the line “havent me the new me yet” a few times, which i think is again him trying to convince himself that its going to get better and he will move on from it. but this line is the one that i think hurts the most:

No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

this implies that 1. he still thinks geralts a good man (not a monster) and 2. that he knows he hurt him to and doesn't know how to fix either of them. this is also kind of him giving up on how to fix it, but him recognizing they were both at fault is important for the arc of the story.

18. death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is another song that is not off of folklore (its from lover), but i wanted to include it because it think it has a little bit of anger to it (especially in this live acoustic version that i linked) which i think that jaskier would feel a few weeks post incident in a fit of rage, like why am i still feeling this way? why did you think that this was okay?? and its right after happiness, which shows that his healing really isn't linear. there's many lines in this song that pertain to geralt and jaskier and i could talk about the whole thing but im not going to

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

this i think is very jaskier. its so raw and like, i know this is over, why am i still writing about it? why am i making an album about this? why should this still matter to me? its very angry and again, like many of the songs, like a slap.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave up on me like I was a bad drug Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

this part, especially if you listen to her sing it, (which i would HIGHLY RECOMMEND BTW) is very passive aggressive and the the last line is like quite sarcastic and downplays it, like, yes you put me through all of this, but i guess its *just* a thousand cuts. this really shows that in many ways geralt was a part of jaskiers life, and his sudden removal from it would have stung in many ways, and thats not something that you can get over quickly. 

19. empty space by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song starts the beginning of jaskier getting over geralt. these last 4 songs would have been written much after the incident, after hes had time to think, but there's still this nagging in the back of his head thats like, well what if im being stupid and he is the one and im supposed to go back?

I don't see you You're not in every window I look through And I don't miss you You're not in every single thing I do I don't think we're meant to be And you are not the missing piece I won't hear it Whenever anybody says your name And I won't feel it Even when I'm burstin' into flames I don't regret the day I left I don't believe that I was blessed I'm probably lyin' to myself again

this is more what jaskier wants to be, not what he actually is. he thinks that hes over geralt, but hes not (the chorus gets into it more but im not going to talk about it here, but it essentially says “only you can fill this empty space”) clearly jaskier is further along in his healing process, but hes still having second thoughts. he wants to be over him, but he knows hes lying to himself, very deep down. 

20. coney island by taylor swift (more modern era interpretation)

this is the true moving on song. it’s still laced with memories and speculation, but it puts clear distance between the two of them, much more so than empty space does because it lacks the longing. it just shows things for what they are. 

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

its apologetic, but nothing more than that. it dwells more on what could have been rather than what he wants it to still be. 

The question pounds my head What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

this is interesting because it addresses their immortality and how they've been together for years and also the way in which they left things (paradise). but it also implies that things were on the downfall. and the last two lines about forgiveness is interesting because it then calls geralt “too wise to trust me and too old to care” meaning its more a wish of jaskiers rather than something he knows geralt will do.

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line By the gold clock Did I leave you hanging every single day? Were you standing in the hallway With a big cake, happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? A universe away And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name

these are all very specific, very intimate moments that would clearly mean something to geralt. and it further implies that jaskier is uncertain if he actually made geralt feel appreciated when they were together. but again, its more what could have been rather than what jaskier wanted it to be, which is a nice segway into the last two songs. 

21. new years day by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

this is another one not from folklore, this song is the closing track on reputation, but i like the nostalgia of it so i decided to include it (and it also has good parallels to the last song). initially jaskier intended for this to be the last song on the album, but decided to add another one last minute (and we will get into why). this song is more jaskiers muted longing to still be with geralt, albeit in the far future. 

There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before but Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

this interpretation is very much like the actual songs interpretation: the desire to stay with someone through the unexciting parts of life, like cleaning up after a party on new years day. additionally, wanting to start something new with someone (being there with them past the midnight kiss and actually starting the first day of the year with them). additionally though, there is the line of “dont read the last page” which refers to the last song on the album, which we will get to. 

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

this is more jaskiers reality. hes torn between holding onto these memories and hopes and actually facing reality. he wants to hold on to geralt, but he also kinda wants to move on. and the last line about the laugh, thats more jaskiers own hope, he hopes that he will come across geralt again and things will work themselves out.

22. the 1 by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

the decision to make this song the last one on the album was a very last minute decision, and it was written significantly after the rest of the songs. the reason for this was without this last song, the album ends on a note of hope “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” but this last song is more of a reality check and acknowledgment that what's done is done and that it will never be again. 

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

this refers to the fact that its been some time since the whole thing and jaskiers kind of changed a little bit. he claims hes doing good, and maybe is going to try out a new career (since the first song references wanting to put music down for awhile). seeing geralt at the bus stop is a reference to cardigan where he says “chasing shadows in the grocery line” where hes not actively looking for geralt anymore and it doesnt upset him that he didnt see him.

I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now

this is jaskier saying that hes almost glad that it happened because it gave him a new perspective and it was a learning experience. he also says that its alright, which is the second time that hes said hes okay, which probably means he isnt completely, but hes much closer than he was on the rest of the album because hes not still looking for geralt at every turn

I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now I guess you never know, never know And it's another day, waking up alone

this is jaskier acknowledging the fact that geralt has probably long since moved on with his life, either with other romantic people or with his life entirely (the first time he does this on the album). he says that while their love or friendship was unconventional it still was definitely something (implying that it may have been one of the greatest loves of his life). and the waking up alone part references quite miss home and being by himself, but it isnt sad, its just a fact at this point.

But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one

this is the part where we see that jaskier has grown. hes recognized that his wanting to be with geralt was never anything more than a fleeting wish or a moment that couldn't last. but he knows that it had potential and it could have worked but it didnt and thats okay. in the last chorus the pennies line is “rosé flowing with your chosen family” which implies that he and geralt were close enough to know each others family (chosen or real), meaning that it meant something. and he wouldn't have minded a long term relationship with geralt, but its not what happened.

in new years day jaskier says “dont read the last page” this song is that last page. part of him still doesnt want geralt to know that hes put aside the hope of it working because he wants to still keep himself open for geralt, but knows that  its not healthy and ultimately he needs to move on. hes essentially giving geralt the choice: remember jaskier as wanting to get back with him (since the last line of the album would have been “please dont ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere” or let him have the knowledge that jaskier is done with him (since the official last line of the album is “but it would have been fun if you would've been the one”)

anyway thats jaskiers breakup album. i put way too much effort into this. and if you actually read through the whole thing, thank you and please let me know what you think!! if you use this for fics or have your own interpretations please please tag me, id love to see!!

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #wow this took so long #literally so long #id recommend listening to the songs tho theyre all kinda vibey #there's like a million songs i could have used but i liked these ones cause i think they have a very nostalgic vibe #also dont get me wrong jaskier would also eventually release some sones like uhh #truth hurts by lizzo #like very fuck you breakup songs #but this is him being sad first #anyway im literally only posting this cause witcher anon said they wanted to read it #i hope you like it my dude

[saharamae21]

All of My Wrongs - Chapter One

Pairing: Topper x OC and Rafe x OC

Summary: As her first day in the OBX comes to a close, she finds herself getting to know one of the two boys. She begins to analyze him and articulate certian feelings and she likes the dynamic they have going on. Yet, she’s still cautious. She doesn’t want to just dive into the first friendships she’s ever had.

Word Count: 2.7K

A/N: Sorry if these first chapters come off as boring. Its going to be a slow moving fic in order for me to really build connections with the characters. I really like it though and I hope you do too... Let me know what you think! I really want some feedback on this...

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I sat on the edge of Toppers bed and stared at the two boys in front of me. They put off extremely different auras. Topper was softer, less guarded than Rafe. However, he was much sadder in a way. He seemed troubled and anxious all the time. Rafe just seems frustrated with the world. He had tense muscles and rage in his veins. Both of them let their flaws surface. They didn’t know how vulnerable that made them. They didn’t know how their flaws could be used against them.

“So, Aurora,” Rafe said. “You never answered me. What’s your story?”

“What do you want to know?” I asked. Rafe took a seat next to me on the bed. He pretended to make a thinking face and if my eyes could roll any harder, they would’ve. He told me to tell them whatever I was willing to. That was so vague, where do I begin? Is this how normal people make friends? By asking vague questions and judging their answers.

“If you’re so interested in her, can you take her back to your house? My mom will kill me if she found out I snuck a girl in,” Topper said. “Especially if that girl isn’t Sarah.”

Topper basically shoved us out of his front door and I sighed. I knew my parents were going to kill me for not being at home in the morning, but Skip did lock me out… I listened to Rafe ask me if I was coming. I scoffed and ran through the rain to his car. I slipped in and shivered a bit. His car was messy and filled with fast food wrappers. My nose wrinkled at the smell of gym clothes in the backseat. He apologized upon seeing the look on my face and told me that he wasn’t expecting company tonight. He laughed and asked if I was hungry. I felt my nose wrinkle up a little bit and wondered if he was going to offer me a leftover, but instead we pulled into a McDonald’s. I hadn’t even noticed I was hungry until he mentioned something, but I also didn’t have any money.

“What do you want?” he asked. He glanced over at me and I told him I was fine. He continued to ask and told me it was on him. He didn’t seem like the handout type though and I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to be indebted to him or not. Finally, I gave in and told him I would take a mcnugget meal. “Was that so hard, buttercup?”

I rolled my eyes at his sarcastic tone and reached for the bag. He easily pulled it away before I could grab it though. This was a game to him. I could tell by the way his eyes stared at me. I felt my stomach rumble and crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t like the fact that he thought he would toy with me. Usually, I wouldn’t be so irritated, but it was late. I was wet and tired, but more importantly, I was hungry. We pulled into his house and somehow it was even bigger than Topper’s. He snuck me up to his room, which was surprisingly neat compared to his car. I sat down at the desk and waited for him to give me my food, however, he only took out his and unwrapped it.

“Let’s play a game,” he said while taking a bite out of his burger. “You can have your food when you answer some questions for me, fair?”

“What do you want to know?” I asked again. This time he looked at me with intent. He asked me why I moved here and how we had money. It felt almost like a business inquiry more so than the beginning to a friendship. He was curious about my status and trying to figure out if I was a good addition to his inner circle. He was looking at me as if I was an investment. He opened his mouth to ask another question, but I interrupted.

“Are you aware that you give off a Chuck Bass vibe?” I asked. He asked me who that was. I asked him if he had ever seen Gossip Girl and he shook his head. He said it had “girl” in the title and therefore it wasn’t for him. The more I observed him the more I saw it though. The cold exterior that hid his deserve to be accepted or some other insecurity. He was definitely the type to put people down or push people away to cope with his own issues. “Don’t worry about it, Bass. Know this though, I’m no Blair Waldorf.”

He asked me if I gave everyone bad nicknames. I ignored him and asked him if I could have my food yet. He wasn’t done with his questions though. He asked me about why I moved so much. He asked me things that were a little deeper than the general get to know you questions. He wanted to know what I wanted after high school. He asked about my dreams. He asked me what made me insecure. He was trying to find my weaknesses. He was one step behind, because I had already figured out his.

“Rafe, can I please have my food? I'm really hung-” my words were cut off by a sneeze. I shivered as his ceiling fan blew cold air down on me. Even though I was in Topper’s sweatshirt, my shirt underneath and my shorts were soaked and freezing. His expression softened as he tossed me the bag. I opened it up and ate some cold fries. I watched as he rummaged through his drawers. I shoved a chicken nugget in my mouth as a pair of sweatpants smacked me in the face. He told me to change and walked out of the room. I let out a small laugh as I realized he was trying to be nice. I slipped out of my wet clothes and into his sweatpants. I removed my top and bra before sliding Topper’s hoodie back onto my smaller frame. I let out a yawn as I finished up my meal. I looked around and wondered if he had just left me here for the night.

Just as I was about to lay down on the bed in front of me, he waltzed back in with nothing but a towel around his waist. I covered my face, embarrassed, causing him to chuckle at my innocence. He closed himself in his closet to get changed as I tried not to think about his finely painted abs or how his hair looked wet. I had to admit that Rafe was handsome. He came back out in boxers and a t-shirt on. He plopped down on his bed and waited for me to lay down.

“Um… is there like a guest room I should go to?” I asked, nervously.

“You’re not as snarky now,” he pointed out. “Just lay down, I’m not gonna touch you. Well, not unless you want me too.” If I could smack that smirk off of his lips I would. I hesitantly got into bed, my mind swirling with all the thoughts about waking up next to a boy in the morning. I pulled the covers over me and tried to find warmth, but my skin still felt like ice. I shivered a bit and heard him sigh.

“C'mere,” he mumbled, opening his arms up a little bit. I looked at him and he let out another dramatic sigh. “It’s just for body heat. You can push me off whenever you feel like it. I just can't have you getting all sick in my house. It’s not like I’m into you or anything.”

I moved closer and his arms wrapped around me. I smiled knowing that this was his attempt at being nice. My body unconsciously cuddled closer into his chest. I breathed in the sweet smell of his body wash as he held me against him. Everywhere his body touched mine was burning now. It felt like flames against my skin.

“You’re weird…” he mumbled to me with a chuckle. I pushed at him a little bit. “Hey, not in a bad way… Just not in an Outer Banks way.”

“Sorry I don’t fit your standards,” I said sarcastically. I was used to not fitting in. That was nothing new to me, but when he said that, my heart sank more than usual. I wanted to fit in here. I wanted to stay here until I went to college.

“If you want to fit in, you have to come to Midsummers,” he said. I asked him what it was and in all honesty, it sounded like a nightmare. The rich kids and their families getting together to honor people for doing nothing? It sounded like a joke. “Trust me, you’ll hate it. But, if you wanna fit in, I’ll take you. Show you the ropes. You can be my plus one.”

“Okay,” I said, after thinking for a while. I glanced up at him and his eyes were closed. His face was so close to mine though. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to think about how I was cuddling with a boy I didn’t even know. I tried not to think about how I just agreed to see him again. Instead, I just kept my eyes closed and drifted off.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of his door opening. My heart leapt out of my chest as his arms tightened around me. He groaned as the light filled his room.

“Dude, were going to be late for our tee-time!” I heard a familiar voice say. “Holy shit, man. Hey Aurora… You coming golfing with us?”

I pushed Rafe off of me and sat up embarrassed. I greeted Topper and tried to ignore the embarrassment burning my checks. I told him I’d rather die than go golfing. He smiled as he looked back and forth between Rafe and I. I rolled my eyes and told him I had to use the bathroom. I walked down the halls when a girl popped out. She looked my age and she stopped in her tracks when she saw my sweatshirt.

“You must be the girl who was with my boyfriend last night,” she said, sizing me up. I let out a laugh as I recognized her from photos in the house. She must be Rafe’s sister and Topper’s girlfriend.

“Actually, I’m the girl who’s accompanying your brother to Midsummers,” I said firmly. I didn’t want her to see me as a threat. I watched as her face flushed with pink and her words then became flustered.

“O-Oh! I’m so sorry,” she said. She extended her hand. “I’m Sarah Cameron.” “Aurora Lansing,” I said. What was with everyone and handshakes here? She smiled at me and told me that she had to run, but it was nice to meet me. She seemed nice, but something about her gave me the impression that we wouldn’t get along very well. I went to the bathroom and made my way back to Rafe’s room. The boys were in there, waiting for me. I gulped, knowing that I was about to get my introduction into country club life.

I shifted uncomfortably as I say in the golf cart. My arms were crossed over my chest as I watched them joke around. I could name at least six different places I would rather be than at a golf course. I pulled awkwardly on the short skirt I was given and sighed. I narrowed my eyes on Topper. So, he was dating Rafe’s little sister. She seemed into him from the impression I got this morning, so why was he so worried? Then my eyes shifted to Rafe. I noticed that there were endless pictures of Sarah in the house, but how did that leave any room for him? I just couldn’t quite figure these two out.

“You having fun yet, buttercup?” Rafe asked. He leaned against the cart and swung his club a bit.

“Ha as if, Bass,” I muttered. “Why am I here?”

“So we can bond, obviously,” he said, with a chuckle. He threw his head back when he laughed. It made me smile. “So, do you have plans tomorrow?”

“No…” I said.

“Great, let’s go dress shopping for Midsummers. You're going to need my help. Plus you have to match my suit,” he said. I laughed when Topper yelled over that it was awful. I watched as Rafe’s expression changed. “Hey, buttercup. Can you go get me some water from the clubhouse? Just put it under Ward Cameron’s tab.”

I looked around to see what he saw, but there was nothing there. I nodded and drove off. I parked outside of the building and looked around. This was nothing like what I had ever done before. Usually I would be helping with hurricane relief right now, but instead I was partying with the upper class. It felt a little wrong to be honest. I wondered what my parents would think when I got home. I grabbed a water and told them to put it under Rafe’s dad’s tap. They didn’t even think twice.

On my way back, I was driving down the path when I saw a boy on the ground. I slammed on the breaks and got out, helping him sit up. He was bleeding pretty badly.

“Are you okay? Can you walk?” I asked. He looked at me with a confused glance. He told me he was fine. I wondered why he was being so cold. “Hold on, I’ll go get a first aid kit!”

He stopped me though. He told me that he didn’t need my help. He dismissed me quickly, getting up on his own. He told me he did take handouts and that I should go back to sipping lemonade by the pool. He walked away quickly as I stared at his back, jaw dropped. I was just trying to be nice. I scoffed at the interaction and slipped back onto the cart, trying to find Rafe and Topper again. They were finishing up their hole.

“Took you long enough,” I heard Rafe say. “Did you get lost?”

“No…” I muttered. “There was this boy on the ground. He was really curt with me, but I was just trying to help him…”

Rafe asked me what he looked like. He asked me if he looked like a golfer or a worker. I told him neither. The boy was in everyday clothes. He was in a brownish/red shirt and swim trunks. Rafe sighed and sat down next to me. He told me that I had probably seen a Pogue. He told me about the island rivalry and how they always would pick fights with them. He told me the Kooks were the good guys.

“Us, Kooks, we work hard,” he said. “They’re jealous of us because we have money. Money that we’ve worked our asses off for.”

I didn’t know what to believe, but that boy was so rude to me for no reason. What kind of place was this? He told me not to worry about it or them. I sighed and nodded, watching them finish their round. I tried to push all the thoughts from my head, but I couldn’t.

When it was all over, the boys dropped me off at home. I walked in and was met by my parents. They stared at the outfit I had borrowed from Sarah and told them not to ask. I knew that wasn’t going to stop them though. I told them about how Skipper locked me out of the house and how I made some friends. I left out the part where I stayed the night at Rafe’s, but I filled them in. I told them about the island rivalry and Midsummers. They looked at me with an expression I’ve never seen before.

“It’s nice to see you breaking out of your shell, Rory,” my dad said. He was right. I was breaking out of my shell.

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