#there . i'll add more if they come to me LOL

[withleeknow]

how he would take care of you during shark week. ⤷ chan / minho / changbin / hyunjin / jisung / felix / seungmin / jeongin

pairing: jisung x f!reader genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff, mentions of periods bc duhhh erhm note: ok so i'm REALLY not sure what this is lmao but i switched up entirely compared to the first installation (with minho) and i think this is the format i'll be sticking with for the rest of the members. i'm still just experimenting and trying to figure how i want to approach doing drabbles/drabble series like this so pls bear with me a little for now lol

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

main masterlist / blurb masterlist / ko-fi

jisung, who can't be trusted with even the simplest of tasks. you should've known better. (and honestly? you did know better, which probably makes the whole thing so much worse.)

jisung, whom you ask to run to the store just because you were too lazy to brave the evening chill yourself and get the shit you need.

jisung, who texts you what size pussy u wear? while he stands in the middle of the aisle, feeling like he's illiterate as he's surrounded by products of different colors and shapes and sizes and wings.

jisung, whose eyes catch a specific pink packaging with pretty flowers that makes him pull out his phone and snap you a picture. this one looks better. yours is boring, he'd text you, to which you'd replied with a dozen question marks before calling him an idiot and telling him to leave the fancy pads and hurry home with the ones you usually use.

jisung, who returns about thirty minutes later holding two large bags in his hands, which definitely contain a lot more than what you had sent him out for - just a pack of overnight pads and some sweets.

jisung, who kisses you in greeting as your eyes narrow suspiciously, then he'd proudly show off the goodies that you didn't need - an assortment of sour candies and chocolates, chips, ice cream bars, your favorite cookies, and lastly, a random purple pouch.

jisung, whose love language looks a lot like making you get diabetes whenever your time of the month rolls around.

jisung, who beams like a kid in a candy store when you ask him about the pouch with a brow raised. "look!" he'd beam, holding the little thing up like it's the most magical invention he's ever come across in his entire life. "it holds your pads! and it has unicorns on it!"

jisung, who doesn't deflate at all when you tell him that you already have one, but instead, he'd tell you to ditch the one you have because it's too "boring" (re: it doesn't have unicorns.)

jisung, who volunteers to carry the pouch for you the next time you go out together, musing to himself about whether or not he should add a little strap so he could wear it like a crossbody bag, not even batting an eye when you stare at him and gape in disbelief.

jisung, who really uses your shark week as an excuse to buy dumb shit for himself and stuff you full of treats.

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 25.04.2024]

#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #han x reader #han jisung fluff #han jisung scenarios #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagines #han jisung x you #stray kids #han jisung

[wixenburr]

Saw some ppl talking about Reverse Robins and i had thoughts

Talking abt u guys @eldritchdreamss @brucewaynehater101

Why kill Tim when you could kill baby Jason? What I want is for all of them to keep their own backstories and personalities (Developed in line with the story of course) So ofc i had to write a 1,000 word brainrot abt it.

(Also i'll only be going over the main 4 batbros for now i will add more later but these guys are the ones im most passionate about so here we go)

Damian

Let Damian come in, desperate to be of use and be worthy of his father, only for a softer, less jaded bruce (since jason hasnt died yet) to help him open up his heart and let him act as a kid. With no competition for so long, I imagine he and Bruce get along very well while he works with him. Yeah, they need to work on the no killing deal and Damian's... i guess impulse control? But i think it would be easier with very intensely focused reparenting; no distractions of other kids you know? No favoring or anything.

I see Damian growing up as a stoic, jaded adult. He's had a rough life. Maybe he sticks with the vigilante business. but I really love headcanons where he gets out of it, and focuses on something calmer, like his art. (I do appreciate and love the veterinarian Damian AUs, but im going for FULL calmness, you know? And doctor/vet work is Not calm lol)

So yeah, maybe he grows a real passion for heroism, maybe he doesn't? Maybe he goes on to be an artist and that's just what he does. Bro is ready to settle down as a scarred, veteran trophy husband and i adore him for that.

(Sorry lol i just love Damian and i love the idea of him growing out of both of his parent's legacies. Let him live his own life!!! He fights so so hard for at least 15 years. ALL 15 years of his life. He deserves to have some peace.)

Tim

Tim i think would need a much different story to join the Batfam. He still starts out as a stalker who follows batman and. . . . . . . Redimar (meaning Redemption iykyk (I just spend 17min researching names rip)) at night, takes photos, etc... Since Damian doesn't die, maybe he finds Tim? and like, tim is like 11 and Damian is 17 or 18. He's started going out as Redimar less and less, not that B really minds? In fact hes probably happy for his son so...

But then Damian finds Tim, and now he has to keep going out because he can't let this kid get himself killed like this. He would hold himself accountable since hes the only reason Tim keeps going out so much- also i imagine Tim follows Redimar more than Batman.

Cue a classic Tim Joining The Batfam plotline. They get to know each other better, get a grasp on Tim's situation, Damian finally introduces Tim to Bruce... (Probably something like Dami: "Father, this is my new brother. Timothy, say hello to Father," Tim: "Hello, Father," Dami: "Perfect." Bruce: "*falls off the batchair*)

Anyway, so, Tim ends up kinda just merging with the Waynes. They start training him, its all good and nice, and Tim makes his own little hero team unlike Damian, which is actually pretty interesting here; its Tim who made the first young hero team. Damian only ever had Jon (Superboy 1 in this!!) and he finds Young Just Us and becomes a great leader and its all fine and dandy.

Tim and Damian get along well. Damian is the sage older brother whos kinda distant, but only because he has such high emotional walls (but secretly a softy). He is very much like Bruce- nope, nevermind, hes definitely worse than Bruce in this AU, since Bruce is depicted as being much more agreeable before Jason's death, you know? So yeah, Damian is the emotionally constipated bitch in the fam and we love him for that. But hey!! Tim does manage to get through his walls! And Bruce does sometimes too!! (Tho i imagine Bruce and Damian's relationship to be very.. idk let me try to expalain. Dami: "Father." Bruce: "Son :)" Dami: "Tt." Bruce: *nods* "Hrn." Dami: "Hmph." Bruce: "Hm.") DO U PICK UP WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN--- lmfao. They hardly need words.

Tim ends up growing up very very capable. Once his parents die, he gets a little jaded, but hes still Tim. He and Damian become kind of an... ice prince duo? If you get what I mean. But Tim is the one whos actually the ice prince, Damian is secretly a HUGE softie. He is Delicate and Tim protects him lmfao.

Jason

Jason comes along like he does in canon. Has the same backstory. Tries to steal the Batmobile's wheels. Tim is sleeping over at Damian's flat for the night, so its just Bruce. They bond. Shit happens. Jason joins the fam.

I don't imagine them not getting along, but they don't immediately hit it off either. Jason is wary of all of them for a time, but he ends up warming up to Damian pretty fast after realizing what a softie he is. He pokes fun at Damian and Damian just freaking takes it lmao. Hes an adult he cannot be disturbed. Bro has seen too much and he finds Jason adorable. (Dami: "You were never this cute, Timothy." <- he is lying. Tim: *offended* "What the fu- flip!?" Jason: "Lmao Tim just say fuck." Dami: *deadpan stare* Tim: "JASON NO DONT SAY THE FUCK WORD-") ahem.

anywho and then Jason dies rip skill issue ratio.

The whole batfam is heartbroken. Genuinely shattered. Jason was a light in their lives. Not that they were WITHOUT any light, but Jason was the epitome of a sunshine child.

It's been too long since Damian has killed someone. Bro's god oodles and oodles of trauma. He can't bring himself to kill the Joker.

but Tim can.

It's a whole dramatic thing; Damian feels awful that he made his- now only- little brother kill. Bruce is hella upset but feels responsible for not seeing how badly both of his kids were handling the death of their brother. Tim goes a little off the deep end.

Things turn out.... okay. sort of. but not really. Tim changes his hero name to Red Cardinal. He feels pretty lost. Maybe he stumbles into Ra's al Ghul or smthn idk maybe smthn happens there perhaps. Maybe Damian has to put on Redimar again and rescue him? But its less of a rescue and more of a "Stop joining the dark side Tim jesus christ-" (and it does work).

They go home. Tim gets a boyfriend or two. Damian falls into his art. Bruce is throwing himself into work. They're all kind of a mess, but they keep moving.

and then

Dick

(lmao that sounded wrong)

ahem; and then the circus comes to town. The batfam- well, Tim, Damian, and Bruce- all decide to get together to do something fun. Take the opportunities given, yk? So they go to the circus together.

Wham bam rip the falling Flying Graysons.

They see Dick, breaking apart, and they know they have to do something. Bruce is the first to move. Then Tim. Damian is the last.

It's pretty quick getting Dick home, since Bruce is already a foster parent cuz of Tim yk. So Dick doesn't have to suffer in Juvie at all really. But that doesn't change the fact that he is ANGRY.

Dick is SO angry. he wants to kill the person who murdered his parents. He knows what he saw.

The fam of course do their best to investigate. Mostly Tim, who feels unworthy of being around an innocent little kid after his whole.... villain era, i suppose lol. (ofc Dick thinks Tim doesnt like him lol misunderstanding arc GO)

The whole "Dick accepts that justice is better than murder kinda maybe FOR NOW" storyline happens, and Dick becomes the conniving, bright, little Robin we all know and love. (Thinking of the Young Justice Cartoon Robin (but not the characters- just Dick's character) aaaand

Womp womp GUESS WHOS BACK

Jason's Back

but i'll leave that for later.

#my writing #personal #batfam #reverse robins #batman #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #dick grayson #batbros #batkids #batfam fanfic

[cerebralabyss]

i don't think i'll ever get used to that feeling of pure happiness when the people around me acknowledge my system/plural identity .. in a good way, of course.

it's just not the same as someone remembering things about you collectively. it tells me that i matter to those people enough for them to remember and recognize me as different people.

whether its "subtle" like how my partner tends to greet us by our specific name when we text them, or a friend being able to remember things a specific alter said/did as an individual. or more specific things, like the times our boyfriend/partner sys forgot for a second we aren't in separate bodies. and how he sends us random images near daily captioned "this is so (alter name)"

really, no matter how subtle it is, we do notice. and it makes us just as happy every single time. every little thing adds up and makes us feel happy and comfortable being "we" and not "i."

plural validation matters!! whether coming from a non-system or another plural, it all means a lot.

this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks, oops. i remembered it because another friend specifically wanted to show reffy something because they knew he’d appreciate it (they said “get the goober” lol) and it made us both really happy. so i wanted to add that.

- 🥀

#pluralgang #plurality #plural system #plural #system #multiplicity #plural community #plural positivity #actually plural #plural culture #plural things #system things #system stuff #sysblr #system community #plural stuff #system positivity #endo safe #endo friendly #pro endo #crbrl jax

[verflares]

(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:

"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for��"

#now. how on earth do i begin to tag this. um. #link #loz #totk #totk spoilers #light dragon #dragon link #loz au #totk roleswap au #there . i'll add more if they come to me LOL #um i can talk about some of my insps i guess?? might make another post too #so mostly i just dont really like turning him into 'light dragon but male' and giving him slightly darker colours or something like that #this also obviously isnt exactly like the botw dragons either though and its a bit more of a mix of other creature concepts i enjoy #since everyone agrees he'd have a farosh horn i wanted to make him a kirin/unicorn :) which is why his tail looks like that #aside from the obvious eastern dragon insps and what ive picked and chosen from the botw dragons #and obviously this looks a lot like wolf link. thats on purpose #i wanted to give him some fierce deity design refs too but because this is so dark/earthy they didnt look very fitting #but honestly you could do a whole fierce deity dragon design on its own i think #okay lots of tags but IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. okay. let me have this. #my art

[everyitachi]

Happy birthday Itachi!

Hi! It's me again Laetitia @beatriceportinari from @everyizuna.

To the surprise of no one I couldn't live too long without another little screencaps blog, and I've chosen Itachi for this next one!

This will be similar to how I ran everyizuna: 2 (now 3) queued posts per day until it runs out.

Again don't hesitate to send me an ask for any clarification abt the inclusion of a panel, or if you think I've missed one!

Big thanks to the person who let me have the url and happy screencaps summer,

-Laetitia

#now for the tags: once again every post will be tagged #naruto #uchiha itachi #and the chapter number #i'll just add #itachi uchiha #for this first post so itachi enthusiasts can find me #I'll also tag other characters if they show up in full #this will probably happen more here lol #anyway did the prepared tobirama blog fool you? sorry it was too tempting to plan out a meaningless trickery. #getting into the itachi spirit you understand #I did consider him! but itachi's birthday coming up was too tempting #maybe we'll get to tobirama later :)

[cityrun]

i was gonna joke that i'll start judging people by how they view the babylon rogues and then realized that would mean like everyone because most people dont bother to familiarize themselves with the japanese versions of the games

#if your only perception of them is via idw... get out of here #snapdub fans get a pass for jokes bc somehow they manage to be decent out of character depiction compared to those comics #do NOT talk to me about free riders its not real #anyway i think the babylon rogues as depicted in the first two riders games are a really interesting group & fun rivals for team sonic #i do think that the jp dub adds a little more depth to their unique dynamic & characterization that doesnt come across quite the same in en #maybe i'll make a post about it but im also a little shy lol i'd probably just repeat what ive said in the server #sth #babylon rogues #text

[celestial-sapphicss]

10 songs on your playlist right now!

rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs, and then tag ten people. no skipping!

OH this feels like baring my soul!!!! thank you for tagging me @heart-ming & @justafriend-ql 💗🫶

because I'm a weirdo i have different apps for different music, like i have bollywood songs pirated downloaded on my phone, prime music for english + other music and spotify for everything i can't find on prime music (which is mostly thai music)!!! and i don't do playlists, i just add all my songs to my library and hit shuffle 😶‍🌫️ so here's all three!!!!

tagging: @i-got-the-feels @wanderlust-in-my-soul @writtenalloveryourface28 @sorrowfulliming @deshimango @chinzhillababy @pondphuwin (no pressure though ✨💌)

#tag game #music #my personal achievement is having more than 2k songs in my library lol #perks of being bilingual 😆 #who is surprised that my thai playlist is mostly MSP OST? not me sksksk #im sad jeff satur didn't show but ok #don't @ me for the p!atd song okay that was before i knew urie was trash 😩 #nothing will ever ever really beat my love for Bollywood music GOSH #like WHAT song can even come close to ek dil ek jaan? #kehti hai ishq duniya jise meri jaaneman? uss ek lafz me hi chupi kayenaat hai!!!! #like my taste in english music is pretty bland i know but my choices in bollywood music? unmatched #anyways thank you for tagging me mel & sufa 🥺💗 I'll add all your recs to my playlist!!!!

[rainbowcolored7]

Jak! Dearly beloved, I'm thrilled to see you on your Musketeers bullshit, you've reminded me how overdue I am for a rewatch. Would you happen to have any fic recs? 👀

Fleet my love! 🥰

*chants* rewatch rewatch rewatch!

I absolutely have recs! (they say as they check their bookmarks to find there is only one and the rest have fucking disappeared?!?! In my search to track them down again I may have missed some sorry...) My otp is Athos/d'Artagnan, Porthos/Aramis, and poly Athos/d'Artagnan/Porthos/Aramis (with Constance occasionally in the mix). I hope that's okay! And in an attempt to keep this list from being horrifically long I'm going to try and share one fic per author, but most have written several wonderful fics that are favs, so definitely check out their other works as well. (says this and immediately fails)

Une histoire de bleu by ceeturnalia (traveller) - This is my top favorite of all time for this fandom. I can't count how many times I've reread it, I have the dang thing nearly memorized lol. Rated E, D/s, Athos/d'Artagnan.

kairos & logos by ceeturnalia (traveller) - Rated E, soulmates and reincarnation, OT4. This fic lives rent free in my head nearly as much as Une histoire de bleu. It's not a coincidence they're both written by Cee, who is an incredible story teller.

Multiples of Three by Q__Q - Rated E, OT4. I'm a huge sucker for fics where d'Artagnan is unsure of where he stands with the rest of the gang until they all have to kiss about it.

Ye Heirs of Glory by Kyele - Rated E, a/b/o, Athos/d'Artagnan, Porthos/Aramis etc.. I will admit I never actually finished this one. If I remember correctly I got about halfway and was yanked into another hyperfixation and forgot all about it, but the world building is exquisite, and I have every intention of finishing it soon.

every time i see your face by cherryfeather - Rated E, OT5, just absolute sexy mouthwatering fivesome filth. Also highly recommend going through the rest of this author's works because they're amazing.

The Fruit of Knowledge by breathtaken - Rated E, Athos/d'Artagnan, undercover shenanigans that gets really real super quick. This is another I am constantly rereading because it's one, incredibly sweet, and two, spicy spicy spicy om nom. Also check out the rest of this author's works bc just wowza. The talent.

Forever (in Ink) by Isidore - Rated M, OT4, soulmates and soul marks. This fic is just a full course meal from start to end.

Pas de Quatre by zelda_zee - Rated E, OT4, incredibly written, clever, gorgeous, stunning, no notes.

Fate Will Bring Us Home by rthecynic - NR, OT4, soulmates and soulmarks in the form of flowers. So, so many flowers! The imagery of this one is just so delightful, and istg one day I'm going to draw them all.

#answered asks #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #musketeers fanfiction #musketeers fic recs #athos x d'artagnan #aramis x porthos #the musketeers ot4 #i wish i knew what happened to my bookmarks #it pains me knowing i missed some really good ones #but this list took me far too long to compile and i can't keep searching rn #if i come across more i'll make another rec post #anyone else feel free to add some of your favs too! #i hope you enjoy fleet!!!! ilu *chu* #now if you'll excuse me #i have a lot of fic to devour so i can update my bookmarks lol

[solomonssock]

🌠 Solomonssock's masterlist 🌠

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Obey Me! One Master To Rule Them All:

✮•✮Lucifer✮•✮

I Know Joy Because I Know You

✮•✮Mammon✮•✮

To Capture A Demon's Heart

✮•✮Leviathan✮•✮

n/a (for now)

✮•✮Satan✮•✮

n/a (for now)

✮•✮Asmodeus✮•✮

Delicate Love

The Art of Reassurance and Reframing

You Will Go Nowhere Else

✮•✮Beelzebub✮•✮

n/a (for now)

✮•✮Belphegor✮•✮

n/s (for now)

✮•✮Diavolo✮•✮

A Promise [imagine]

✮•✮Barbatos✮•✮

n/a (for now)

✮•✮Simeon✮•✮

That time when you have dinner with Simeon and it's Wednesday night

✮•✮Solomon✮•✮

n/a (for now)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

#figured I would do some housekeeping! #hopefully this makes it easier for everyone (and myself LOL) to find stuff #since I keep burying it under beautiful art and based writing #let me know if anything is funky!! #this feel way more official now...kinda scary #solomonssock speaks #masterlist #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #I'll add more fandoms if it comes down to that #but that seems good for now #anyway hi :)

[cherry-colored-petals]

Context: me and Esther (@mixed-kester) were discussing about our yanderes from Ansy's Pen Pal event on @throwaway-yandere (gonna fix the tag with it soon oops)

Anyways I think Esther doesn't want to be with Dorian but I am perfectly fine with not having Wanderer yet hahahaha God help me if he finds out—

#🌸🍒 - navi speaks #;; I'll add more tags tomorrow its late rn and im tired lol #;; anyways i hope y'all dont mind the tags I just think its funny HAOSJSISJ #;; imagine having a fake alchemist on your tail and the other is hiding their existence from their yandere #;; crazy shit #;; .. okay sorta HAKSNSKSNSB #;; sorry Esther your (yandere) husband (Wanderer) is busy with a possessed umbrella idk what to tell you man #;; at least he aint on my ass and im not dead but damn imagine if he knows #;; terrifying thought fr #;; anyways time to get ur ass back to your husband and for me to get my revenge by visiting Dragonspine #;; if i dont come back in 2 weeks call the authorities /j #;; (in all seriousness my sleep deprived brain is speaking here and Im in a crackhead mood) #;; (very smooth brain and also somewhat sneeby wwww) #;; (thats all for my ramblings ill think abt writing about this shit again because like hell Wanderer is gonna get the actual me lmao) #;; (try harder bottom /t)

[galaxietm]

hi! hopping on for the first time in almost a week to say:  

i originally planned to be online more this week, but i’ve gotten a tad busier than i expected due to the fact that we’re getting the house ready for our roommate thank.sgiving that we’re having saturday morning. basically, there’s currently 6 of us living here (5 adults & 1 child) and we’re planning to have 5-8 people come over on saturday for our own version of than.ksgiving. so i’ve been doing a bunch of cleaning / organizing this week and my roommates have been prepping for the food that’s going to be made (our kitchen’s going to be very busy tomorrow and early saturday morning lol) it’s going to be my roommates’ daughter (the one living with us) first actual thanksgi.ving  (i’ve been friends with her since high school and i know she’s had a hard time since we graduated, but both her and her daughter are excited) my first real one where i’m excited and actually involved in basically since i moved out (in part thanks to the former toxic roomies) and another roommates’ first one in a while after her hard few years, so we’re all excited but working hard to make sure that it goes off okay, haha 

but tl;dr i’ll try to hop online tomorrow when i’m less busy? i have a 2am shift at work and have to grab a few groceries when i get off work, but if i have time i’ll try to hop on and write a bit. basically, i may not be online much until tomorrow afternoon / evening or saturday afternoon / evening!

i hope the rest of yall are having a good day / week! and if not, i hope it gets better soon! 

#tbd later // #// maybe i'll also nerd out about p.ersona stuff more with my roomie's younger sis again lol #// also hi don't be surprised if i add some more muses soon #// will i specify who? maybe not until later #// but honestly;; i'm excited just to be in company of people who i care about v much #// only 2 people who are gonna be here i'm related to #// but everyone else i've come to care about like they're family in the short time i've known them #// it's sappy of me to say lol #// but i'm excited

[sysig]

Honestly shocked that Jonathan Harker hasn’t been requested as a Friend Shape up to this point

#I don't know the guy but isn't he literally y'all ''Good Friend Jonathan Harker''?? #I also don't know that I would be able to find a suitable visual representation of him so I'm just as fine either way lol #But I do think it's funny #Anyway time for a completely unrelated update post #I don't think this upcoming week is gonna get a TV Guide - although Vargas very nearly qualifies #I was thinking about making one that was literally just | Monday: Vargas | Tuesday: Vargas | Wednesday: Vargas | lol #If I'm able to finish whichever digital idea happens to come first then it really will make a week but I'm not holding my breath :P #Why is digital so hard >:0 #I am thinking about doing another stream tho - nothing fancy just a sketching and lining stream if it's a good art day #But last time was fun #I also - shock to everyone involved i.e. just me lol - somehow managed to bang out another ~1.5k of my DAX/ZEX fic #The ending is done! Surprise! #I got an unplanned alien detour that ended up very silly and I get to add a joke tag if/when I finish and post to AO3 lol #Which I now see as a VUX emoticon wearing is hat I am very SCII-poisoned lol ♪ #I blame the prompt that popped into my head and literally every time I look at it I'm like ''Gods what an excellent idea'' #I'll forget and then I'll pull it back up and be like ''So powerful.......so beautiful.............'' lol #If this all ends up being a side effect of the sun finally sticking in the sky for more than two minutes a day I will Laugh #I am very happy to have ideas and projects

[piplupod]

the urge to change my name and make a new account to have a fresh clean slate is so big off and on lately djfjkl idk why

i would miss friends and mutuals though and followers i see in my activity feed so i won't do that but like. i kind of wish i could like. not be held down so much by how i feel ppl perceive me, i want to say things or do things that would be considered "out of character" bc i have a lot of shifts going on in brain rn (like things are shuffling around and being re-organized almost?) and i just want to be able to let myself exist without feeling like i need to be consistent fdsfjkl

idk if that makes sense. i probably won't be posting anything to do with that here until its more concrete and i can slowly shift towards that instead of the current state of being, but also i really wish i could share the cool things i'm realizing or piecing together or thinking about, but i just feel like it would be weird or cringe or whatever. but god i feel like this might be really healthy finally and i might be able to like,,, not be literally constantly running shame and suicide in the background of my brain, those might be able to shut down for a bit which would be so nice

#idk fhsdgjkl this doesnt make sense probably but im just #things are changing in brain finally i think and im able to explore it a bit better and learn to work with it #this brain is definitely not anywhere near normal or average which. makes sense. traumatized child setting things up for life and- #-then add dissociative disorder on top of that and all the egostates or whatever not coming together like theyre supposed to and now #you've got scattered pieces all across the board #also i think there IS an inner world more than what i've realized but i've been unable to see it properly or access it bc of my- #frankly insane amounts of shame. like it would've been extremely distressing for me to realize i had that before now #it is still a little scary and distressing which is why i can't like. access it still but i have been feeling glimpses of it #maybe im making this all up idk but... it doesnt feel like when i make things up fdsjkl it feels like when theres smth true that- #-i dont want to acknowledge is true. like im trying to shove it away and pretend it doesnt exist bc im ashamed and feel cringe #but it isn't going away so. i would like to try to work with it #and just let myself be curious instead of ashamed #maybe i'll post on our system sideblog about things idk fsgjkl it feels too public here but i DO want to share bc its interesting- #-and god knows i can't journal for the life of me (there is... trauma around that) so dsgjkl maybe that would work best #okay cool i'll stop rambling about DID and brain stuff bc ppl will think im being weird probably fshdfjkl thats why i never talk about it- #-here bc i know its seen as ''cringe'' to have this disorder and its weird and strange and not normal #which yknow. it isn't normal. it is a bit strange. but thats trauma babeyyy lmao #but i just . dont want ppl to think badly of me. unfortunately the others in system dont think that way and dont care so they post here LOL #SO much more than i post about things which is totally fair and i'm not going to get upset at them bc i DO need to work thru this shame #its unhealthy for me and also it can be harmful for OTHER pwDID/systems if im being embarrassed about having this disorder #okay im done now for real HDHGJKL sorry abt the ramble #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #delete later probably

[onepiexe]

what dah hell

#logbook #dn was kind of rude while gci is being very nice to me. . .actually terrified LOL #im going to sit in my car for another 5 min and then walk back inside. just decided to eat lunch out here. #i redid all the front tables and spruced up some of the display and found more signage to store andddd consolidated one table under canopy #debating if i go thru trees today or tmrw. so its shrubs today or tmrw. #ORRRR i mess with the display some more. add more mums change up how it looks etc. #md never got back with me on what 'boss of his boss' said. ik who that boss is tho ive never met him. #if he said sure get rid of it i'll do it tmrw. if not idk what im going to do. . .need to go thru smth. i'm going to explode. #i may get so bored i start asking every person who comes thru if they want plants LOL #in other news im wesring my drink water frogs shirt with my dead insidr but still screaming possum shirt.

[southislandwren]

ive gone back into full dorm mode. i need ice for my water bottle but i cant leave my room because i might encounter someone which is the worst possible scenario in the world

#anxiety spiking whenever i hear a door or voices. feeling trapped in my room. insane fear someone will know im here. etc #and im starting to plan for tomorrow. ill wake up and take a covid test. #if its negative ill go to hotel breakfast then go out and get some vegetables #if its positive i'll hunker down and see about getting my boss or uncle to bring me some vegetables and some vitamin c or something #i already have tylenol but depending on what symptoms i get i might need dayquil etc #im on the ground floor and my window opens so ill just get them to come to my window and pass it through and ill give them cash #oh yeah because i have $0.00 in my bank account! two of my aunts and my mom gave me cash so im dealing in strictly cash right now #which makes me feel conflicted bc i can feel the judgement from store clerks. but i love not being tracked #diary post #i just cant decide if its more humiliating for my boss or uncle to bring me food #maybe i'll just starve until thursday lol #ill probably ask my boss if she comes to town to swing by the grocery store and grab me some lettuce or something #she goes to town almost every day and worst case i can text her husband who passes thru 2x a day #i havent gotten any symptoms yet but mom tested positive on day 4 i think #and i have a powerful immune system (fingers crossed) so i might test positive but not have symptoms #oh and im learning c++ which is super fun actually. i used to be pretty good at html but i lost most of it over the years #ive just been watching tv and playing games and coding all day #so really not a bad day at all i just want to be with my boss :( #edited to add the paranoia is setting back in. hopefully the hallucinations and rage dont come back too #its crazy how i absorb trauma thats barely even trauma. i was like this with all my high school issues too #im just easily traumatized i guess

[faust1926]

I'm not 'evil' but I do think theres something deeply horrific about me. which is sexy

#^prompted by me thinking ''hmmm yeah I'm very frankensteins monster core. we'd be in the same genre'' #relatedly; and this is gonna probs sound darker or edgier than I intend it to. so heres ur warning for that + imagine this like fun gossip #but sometimes when I'm thinking bout things like This I'll get that sense of like ''this shouldn't exist'' #like in that good horror way. something about a creature is /off/ its /wrong/ it Shouldnt Exist. but!! #what if abominations arent just mistakes slipping through the cracks of what was ''intended''. what if they /were/ supposed to exist #in the broad sense. like... so many people fear the possibility of an absent g-d #but have u considered the (imo) more horrifying possibility of a g-d who IS present and is in control. and who did all this on purpose? #LOL. food for thought. I think he made my father on purpose so I think he mustve known I was inevitable too. hm #its whatever to me but its also weird and freaky to me in a fun way #idk if that comes across like this tho. maybe the full context adds something to it