#there is an entire essay under that --keep reading-- thing btw

[lingering-paperwork]

The off string anatomy post.... it's real....

Ok so the description of the figures is Way way longer than I thought it would be so I would like to apologize (I literally had to write it over the corse of two days) there's a lot of stuff missing from this example but I Hope you can forgive me, I was a little lazy and wanted to get the most important things out of the way. So now that I'm done rambling about my rambling, please enjoy, more rambling!

(Below cut is headcanons and rambling galore!)

Fig. 1 & Fig. 2: appear three separate times on the sheet. So let's talk about their eyes first. Iterator eyes are the same as overseer cameras (probably higher quality but they're so similar it's hard to tell). There's a layer of privacy glass over their eyes, meaning that you probably couldn't see their pupils dilating unless you removed the plexiglass. (Which happens a lot for models off string, see: blank slate). If their eyes are damaged it's easy to just rip apart an overseer and replace the eye, it surprisingly doesn't seem to hurt them when you remove it. At least, it doesn't hurt the mechanical models, organic models might feel just a tad more pain when it comes to eye removal. There has also been documents of disorders in individuals with generalized anxiety, schizophrenia, and tic disorders, where one of their pupils gets stuck dilated (or undilated). This can also be fixed by replacing the eye, but it is likely to happen over and over in the same eye. (No replacing eyes does not get rid of their hallucinations and other disorders)

Fig. 3: nothing important to add here--it's an artificial olfactory organ (Organ?). THE SMELL SLAB!!!

Fig. 4: THIS is the thing I'm most excited to talk about However I feel like Figures, 8, 9, and 10 will be a better time to explain it. So for now: it's the mouth of the iterator. I call it a "proboscis" because to me that's the word that fits best! It rests coiled up underneath the face plate until needed and connects to the rest of the digestive tract (which is not very accurately drawn in this image, unfortunately.)

Fig. 5: this is something that acts like an iterators nose (breathing wise). They cant breathe from their mouth so they have large holes in the sides of their necks that basically allows them to do so. Organic iterators have more breath capacity under water than mechanical ones do, since they have larger lungs and more space in their chest for air. Basically a mechanical iterator would be more susceptible to drowning (gasp). The reason they need separate places to eat and breathe is: it just works better, plus there's less of a choking hazzard. (Also it looks cool, and things need Oxygen to exist :3)

Fig. 6: so I'm not sure if there should be a brain or neurons here, but since this is an au where iterators are basically just "guy hooked up to largest pc" I feel like a regular brain would make more sense. And for modified off string iterators, they can have their brain cage stuffed with neurons (as a treat /j). (Side note: started writting this and called an iterator skull a 'Brain Cage' so now it's real and that's what it's called, fight me over it) Anyways, The Brain Cage (tm) does unironically help connecting their mechanic parts, like eyes, ears, antenna, ect. To their brains.

Fig. 7: audio inputs. Ears. Whatever you'd like to call them. I guess in here I'll put the speaker as well--iterators speakers are found on the front of their puppet, usually high up on their chest. It is in the drawing, but the organs were more important to me when I drew it so Sadly the speaker is hidden under their lungs. :']

Fig. 8: this is the process of an iterator getting ready to eat (yay!!) Their neck muscles move aside for the proboscis, to which they either 'take a bite' of the food, or just rip it apart with their hands and put in their mouth (which is the easier option for them). The proboscis itself is made of a tough rubber, which allows food to go down easier, and makes 'chewing' easier as well. The act of an iterator chewing is just them spinning around their proboscis violently before bringing it back under their face plate to swallow, like a garbage disposal. Probably sounds like one too...

Fig. 9 & 10: Figure 9 shows the inside of the proboscis, which is basically just a Large amount of teeth. they're usually covering every wall of the proboscis for a good feet or two, in a circular pattern, until they slowly fade into the esophagus. Figure 10 shows what the end of the proboscis looks like, which is basically just a small 'beak' used for bitting, when necessary. Because of the way they're built, if they eat something like crumbs or fish flakes, it can get stuck on their teeth or on the side of their esophagus. If they eat enough of it, it could cause a build up and cause a blockage. Blockages can be removed but it's uncomfortable and gross to do so. (This makes me wonder if iterators can vomit? I mean they probably Could but it definitely wouldn't be comfortable or safe.)

Figure 11 is both figures at the bottom, so I'm going to split it into: talking about the mechanical iterator puppets and the organic iterator puppets.

Fig. 11a: (left model) mechanical iterator puppets have a very difficult time off string. Their organs are tightly packed into their carapace, making it hard to breathe and digest large amounts of food. Speaking of food, they also have a harder time growing, which leads to lots of growing pains and headaches. They can also overheat quite easily, (which could literally boil their organs, depending on the color of their carapace and their model type), their cooling systems are horrible, since they just bring in air from the outside which is obviously not very effective on hot days. though older models have an easier chance since they don't have as many fans as newer generations do. (I also put patterns on there because I have a headcanon about those as well, mainly that robotic models have more on their face and organic models have more on the rest of their body.)

Fig. 11b: (right model) organic iterator puppets have a much easier time off string, though they are more susceptible to things like overstimulation. They're also just more fragile over all, getting grave injuries like broken bones and deep wounds is particularly common for them. Though they do have an easier time growing to adapt to their diet, furthermore their organs have more space and are less sandwiched together. They don't have Vents like robotic puppets do, but they regulate their temperatures almost the same way we do. They also have a thin layer of furr on the backs of their puppets, that grows in the winter and shortens in the summer. (I forgot to mention this but: every iterators organs and eye color is what their system color is, so while it might not realistically be as vibrant as in the drawing, it would still be their system colors.) (Homestuck ahh headcanon ik)

Right, now, I've mentioned a lot about how iterators 'grow according to their diet' so I'll discuss that now. Iterators are naturally omnivores, much like their parent species, so their body can fully digest both plants and animals. However, if an iterator were to eat more than the other, their bodies get more used to the one they eat more commonly, and might entirely lose the ability to digest the other. This leads to a lot of changes in their personality and, of course, their size.

If they maintain a vegetarian diet, they'll grow malnourished and scrawny, becoming something similar to Saint in terms of speed and weakness. Though they do get more 'attuned with the earth' and might start desiring ascension, or seeking out echos. If they maintain a carnivorous diet, they'll get taller and stronger, think gourmand/artificer in terms of strength. However this does lead to a never ending desire for flesh, and might lead to the iterator forgetting almost everything about themselves, more worried about their next meal than who their actually killing. Last but not least: if they eat their own kind, they'll turn into an insane cannibalistic murderer. it takes around 10 cycles of eating straight meat/veggies for the effects stated to take place but, they only have to eat one member of their kind to kinda lose it a little.

AND IM DONE thank you for your time, lord knows I'll retcon this in the future, I hope you have a Wonderful day. Adios!

#there is an entire essay under that --keep reading-- thing btw #just wanna warn you #anyways #SPECUALTIVE BIOLOGY MY BELOVED #so what if theres plot holes you can fill them in with your imagination #speculative biology #rain world iterator #rain world headcanons #rw iterator #[angels writting] #[angels art tag]

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SEMI FINALS

*NOTE; propaganda is out of order due to the post length!

Eugenides Propaganda:

the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time

Kim Dokja Propaganda:

I haven't read orv but he's fucking gotta be from what I've osmosised

He tries to remove his emotions out of the narrative soooo much, literally the most repressed guy ever. Okay so for context orv is about how this guy, Kim Dokja, has been the only reader of an obscure post-apocalyptic webnovel for years and the novel suddenly becomes reality. And at first you'll probably get the weird impression that his behavior is pretty strange for, you know, a literal apocalypse happening in his world - like yes, he is concerned with survival but he doesn't seem all that scared and he kinda treats it like a video game where he has to grind to make himself stronger and he also treats his companions like a party in an rpg. Then there's also the way he approaches the protagonist of the webnovel, from the start he just kind of describes him as a ruthless psychopath and jerk that is unfortunately a pretty useful ally. And also there's the fact that he carefully omits any mention of his past and when somebody asks if he's worried about his family when the apocalypse starts he just kinda... brushes it off? Anyway so yeah, this bastard is definitely traumatized, although I don't know how much of spoiler territory that would be, considering the fact that literally when he first reveals his trauma he's also unreliable about it. And turns out he does indeed, care A LOT about this world and the people around him. Because well, he kinda didn't care to mention that this webnovel that has become reality was like... literally his whole world before it literally became his whole world. Like, it was the only thing keeping him going for 10+ years and the protagonist that he likes to call a stupid jerk was his comfort character who he pretended to be when he felt like he couldn't handle something in his life by being himself. The protagonist is also canonically the person he loves the most according to a prophecy and he literally can't fathom the thought of him dying, even the timeline versions of him that directly oppose him. And I haven't even mentioned the Fourth Wall yet but I feel like this propaganda is a little long already

misreading the intentions of his companion (yoo joonghyuk) so many time.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDDD DOKJA IS SUCH A UNRELIABLE NARRATORRRRRR GOD I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE DOKJA TOO BUT OMG HE'S JUST SO AAAAAAAAAAAH

Rest of Propaganda under cut!

he is the worst like actually. he starts the story talking about how normal and average he is. he is not. he is constantly mischaracterizing his friends and he's so good at lying to the readers that you don't even realize it at first. almost every single time he cries we have to be told by other characters because he never says it himself. there is literally a scene where his narration says "i wasn't crying" and then the in-universe entity that narrates the actions of people (orv is really weird and meta) says that he was, in fact, crying. honestly genuinely anything he says about himself (or doesn't say) cannot be trusted. he is just so frustrating. he drives me mad. i love him dearly. but he drives me so mad.

Dictionary definition of unreliable narrator. Does not tell the reader anything and then things happen and he's like oh yeah btw there was also this and this earlier but i just didn't feel like mentioning it. There's even a thing called the "Fourth Wall" that is able to see through kdj's bs so occasionally you get gems like,

Kim Dokja: I didn't cry

The Fourth Wall: [Kim Dokja was crying]

Imagine being so unreliable as a narrator you need a more powerful narrator to call out the actual narrator.

^ same submission, just spacing it out

This goes into spoiler territory, but; Kim Dokja is in possession of a skill called the Fourth Wall, which on the surface seems like it appears because he read the book that reverse-isekai’d into his own. However, as the story goes on it becomes clear that it’s pretty much a souped up version of his pre-existing dissociation. You cannot trust him to be honest about his feelings, his past traumas or his feelings about his past traumas, not to mention his tendency to just outright omit information that only gets revealed later on either when it becomes relevant or when an outsider POV reveals what’s actually happening.

Exhibit A: he says (in 1st person POV) that he’s not crying. The Fourth Wall immediately contradicts this (as it is literally words of the novel) by saying (in 3rd person POV) ‘Kim Dokja was crying’.

Exhibit B: Fails to mention entire actions when it shows him emotionally honest even in the slightest; we had to read from another character entirely when Kim Dokja was being physically affectionate with his companion. It’s so bad that there’s this entire paragraph about Kim Dokja describing himself hiding his eyes in his hands in jerky, weirdly specific detail and just AVOIDING EVERY WORD THAT MIGHT SHOW HE’S CRYING. The brilliance of ORV is that when you re-read the entire thing you get hints that ‘yes, this WAS hinted at the entire time’ but you have to dig it out of Kim Dokja’s repressed, depressed self-hating internal dialogue with your own two hands.

^ same submission, spacing it out (i really should've done this earlier.)

i am a simple man (not a man). i see a tumblr text post with the words “unreliable narrator in it”. i read nothing else. i reblog & tag #kim dokja okay but in all seriousness i’m just going with the musty basic example: so there’s this moment where he sacrifices himself to save this guy. as he lays on the ground bleeding out, he says “hey, you don’t like me, right? you should kill me to get some money” the guy says “no kim dokja i cant do that (going through the five stages of grief except there’s only one and it’s anger)” the constellations (twitch viewers irl) are like omg he (the guy) doesn’t want to kill his companion (kim dokja) and shower him (the guy) with money kim dokja: oh, he’s not killing me for the money. smart!

as i quote a brilliant youtube video (all of omniscient reader’s viewpoint in 6 minutes) “yoo joonghyuk sees kim dokja as a c_____”

yoo joonghyuk: companion

kim dokja: cunt

^ same submission, once again. spacing it out.

Hides his true feelings, tells the readers what he thinks is convenient for the plot and that his own personal feelings don’t matter or are not so significant. Has unreliable thoughts abt his companion and is a liar. And is also an omniscient reader.

Kim Dokja always perceived his companions in this like nonchalant way like “oh yeah we get along but really we’re just fighting to survive (apocalypse setting) it doesn’t run that deep” when they all do genuinely care for him and he does in turn. He just, doesn’t think of it as an equal relationship? Dokja’ll sacrifice a lot for them but will get seriously flabbergasted if they do the same thing, so fricking problematic. Not to mention Yoo Joonghyuk, his “Life and Death Companion” (read: husband). Kim Dokja always seems to think that Joonghyuk has it out for him, which is kinda true, but he is literally blind to the fact that he’s attached to him. Like, it’s so obvious??? Also they have hella sexual tension but that’s another thing entirely

se get some many pov changes where kdj in his pov just assumed things based on what he knew the characters would do. however because of his interference the characters have changed and he wouldn’t know that if it hit him in the face

He's an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and thus the audience. He literally rewrote his own childhood core memory. If someone says, "this guy is my friend!" He will go through so many hoola hoops in his mind just to rationalize it. Because he fundamentally believe that no one could love him and even if they did they couldn't know him and he's just gonna hurt them. He cries sometimes in canon but a lot of those times it's not even mentioned as crying he's that unreliable of a narrator. No joke, one time this guys he has a gay thing with called him his "companion" to someone who had just killed him (long story) and this bitch thought "oh wow he's doing it for the coins (another long story) he's so smart i wish I'd thought to that. He's terrible. He literally has an exchange with something called the Fourth Wall (an even longer story) where it said "you're crying" and he said "no I'm not" but he was crying. He makes me insane because the reader is supposed to project onto him. He made me see how much of an unreliable narrator I WAS. ORV is just like that tho.

#kim dokja #kdj #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #once again #if kdj gets this poll blacklisted again im blowing him up #eugenides #the queens thief #queens thief #unreliable narrators battle #unreliable narrators #polls #semi finals

[aromacaque]

tumblr you get this too. i am always sending mini essays unprompted on discord servers

in text under read more

"rewatching lmk again don't worry about that but just thinking. about how when mk was like "so monkey king really was a bad guy?" "that's what i believed" in past tense "wukong was on a path of self destruction. we all were" THESE AREN'T NEW REVELATIONS BTW I JUST THINK ABOUT THEM so i always feel a bit crazy when i rewatch MORE THINGS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I REWATCH PART 128934843

macaque actually reaching out for the memory of wukong even though he KNOWS it's a memory

"i just wanted to be strong enough to protect the people i cared about... i lost sight why i was doing any of it. i know i've made a few lifetimes worth of mistakes, but living them over and over again like this" and it's macaque and him together with macaque looking sad and conflicted

"good thing you're immortal then. there's plenty of time to do things over" basically summarizing macaque and wukong's entire relationship and why it works tbh

"we can't fix everything, we just need to leave it a little better than we found it" AND HE LOOKS UP TO MACAQUE. WHO IS GIVING HIM SUCH A SAD LOOK LIKE THAT'S NOT HIM BROODING THAT'S HIM JUST LIKE. THEY'RE BOTH SAD IDK!!

"i need you to be the monkey king" AND HE BASICALLY LOOKS TO MACAQUE FOR PERMISSION?????

also the implications here that macaque has started to see wukong's side of things a little more. do you hear me. can anyone hear me

the way after they're being like ????

THEY'RE STILL LIKE . YOU KNOW.

but they're being objectively more friendly with each other, done with each other but friendly, but both are very much still keeping their distance. EXCEPT THEY'RE ALSO BOTH MAKING STEPS TO BRIDGING THAT DISTANCE??

BUT THEY CAN'T BECAUSE . UM. WELL. MACAQUE DIED AND THEY HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT THAT

sorry i am staring so hard at season 5

season 5 you want to get these two to actually have a proper conversation sooooo bad please please please please please please please please plea

#lego monkie kid #wukong #macaque #shadowpeach #if you want it to be #this is my tumblr and i get to infodump here if i want #<- i remembered i have free will

[toxicclonehightakes]

adding onto that toxic topher take, i already said this all on the other ch takes blog but it was in an essay that im sure not many people read, but i say the show swept the blackmail under the rug because they barely focus on it after episode 8. hell even after they address it in the finale its only like 10 seconds of jfk breaking the phone and they dont even say anything about it afterwards. i dont entirely blame the fandom for not really talking about the blackmail because the show itself barely focused on it. even i didnt really think much about the blackmail thing until i thought about it weeks after the finale came out, and it still doesnt really change my opinion on tophabe. no hate to tophabe fans btw i just think this is so interesting

tophabe nation.... LEND ME AN EAR!! i dont mind seeing fluffy tophabe, i dont mind seeing completely toxic tophabe... but do NOT forget how OBSESSED topher is with abe! even if in the show, canonically, topher really does like joan and thats why he did that blackmail, he is still so obsessed with abe to the point where he would fucking drop down chimneys to keep him in check. it's not like HE was gonna ask joan out, cause he's shameless enough that he would've already! and it's not like he's doing it just to spite abe, because he literally rides on his back for no damn good reason

#clone high #topher bus #tophabe

[luonnonvalinnat]

I enjoyed your art and fluffyvenom family stories and I want to support them. But I feel like I can't. I am okay with non-binary/trans characters, but when you push a non-binary/transgender identity on a CHILD character, that makes me feel really uncomfortable. Children do not have the maturity to understand gender identity and any choices regarding it should be made when they are of age. When they are able to understand what it means and the life changing decisions that are involved. Decisions that can be irreversible. Changes that one might not agree with later in life and regret. Cathy should be non-binary as a grown adult as she would be mature enough to fully decide who she is, not at 10. I cannot call her "they" because she is only a child.

Okay. So

I'd suggest to anyone who feels this way to read more about the whole topic, since I'm sure there's a lot better written and more in depth sources out there. I can only try my best to give a satisfying, if maybe a brief response, while trying not to spend a whole week writing some hot mess of an essay about non-binary identity.

First thing first, a lot of the "gender identity should not be pushed onto kids" stuff stems from people conflating gender identity with sexuality

Which

Are COMPLETELY different things

Like NO.

So ok one can't call a kid "they" cause they're only a child, and not an adult, because "trans/non-binary kids are too young to know/decide what they are, they might change their mind later".

Most sources I've seen show that over 70% trans kids start to experience gender dysmorphia around the age of seven. Of course let's say a 13-year-old and older kids and teens would have a more advanced understanding of different gender identities and a better access to terminology and stuff, but are they still too young to "decide" what they are since they arent grown adults?

Children, pre-teens, teens and adults all do have an understanding of gender identity, but they all differ, obviously. Trans/non-binary people, no matter their age, can determine the crucial thing that is what makes them feel comfortable and good about themself, and what upsets and irks them.

As for the "life changing decisions that can be irreversible" that would come from not identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth... I'm,, getting the impression that you're referring to the actual gender affirming via healthcare...? Which btw is not performed on younger children. And is something that only starts to become relevant to think about when one enters puberty, at the earliest. And I am in no way saying that a person stops being a kid once they enter puberty or anything of sorts, but we all probably know what absolute hellhole surrounds this topic around the world and frankly I don't think I'd want to bring that to my dumb art blog.

I think all I can say about that is that it's a matter that's completely different and unique to every person who's identity falls under the trans umbrella. I feel like I can really only speak for myself. Im non-binary myself, and also person that isn't very keen to share much details about my personal life here. Cathy is not a perfect reflection of myself, even if they hit pretty close to me, especially adult Cath's character.

The thing is

Yeah, sure, a child saying that they feel or don't feel certain way can very well be a phase, but that's fine. Figuring out who you are literally consists of phases, they're parts of a journey. A journey that is different for everyone.

Of course a kid's identity, gender and otherwise is bound to change as they get older. Heck, even if a person identifies with the gender they're assigned at birth their whole entire life without ever having to give it much of a thought, their understanding of gender identity, their own and otherwise, still keeps changing through time. Figuring out who you are starts very early and goes well into adulthood and way past the age when it's considered you're "mature enough to decide". In the end, shutting down a kid trying to figure themself out is bound to do more damage than being willing to hear them out.

Tldr: non-binary kids exist and are valid. I am in no way an authority or a perfect encyclopedia

Alright

Now I think I wanna get my thoughts out about Cathy spesifically

If I ever wrote a bigger story about them (which I'd like to) the following stuff would be part of it. This might not be crucial to all that stuff mentioned before, but I feel like it's something that would be nice to add here, y'know

Some other kid might ask Cathy "wait, so, are you like a boy or a girl?" perhaps completely innocently. They don't really know what to answer.

They think they're supposed to answer "a girl" that's what everyone around her has treated her as their whole life, but something about that just doesn't feel like... themself. They feel like they like plenty of more "boyish" clothes and stuff, but answering "a boy" does not feel right either. Cathy has briefly wondered if she could actually be a boy instead, since they know that's possible, but no. It's something like both, or neither, or some third thing? Either way, it's like this feeling in their gut, that they are... something. Something that they can't quite put their finger around.

Whenever Cath voices this feeling they're usually met with "Oh, you're just a bit tomboyish, doesn't mean you aren't a girl" and that she just shouldn't think about stuff like that, but that doesn't make that feeling in their gut go away. If anything it makes them feel worse. Like whatever they are feeling is wrong, and others know better than they do, even if they aren't willing to listen thoroughly.

But when this happens with Cathy's new foster, - later adopted parents, they instead react with something more like: "okay, there are plenty of people who feel that way, some of our own friends have similar experiences." And that makes Cath feel surprised, and a lot better.

Someone, for the first time is willing to hear them out and explain that there are more options. And later they get to meet people who went through the same feelings when they were young, and hearing those things makes her feel even better.

Cathy asks if it was possible that they too, could be someone who is neither a boy a girl. "Sure it is, and you have plenty of time to figure out what suits you the best." Cath then asks if it was possible for them to actually be treated in that way? Not as a girl nor a boy but what they really feel like they are.

Cathy's fine with being referred to with terms like "daughter" or "little sister" on occasion, their name doesn't bother them, they do not mind being called "she" every now and then by people (which by the way are things absolutely valid for non-binary folks I gotta mention, many labels fall under the enby umbrella, and in the end Cathy feels like non-binary is what just feels most like themself)

They now have adults around them whom they feel like they can trust and tell everything to. Who would be ready to correct someone mistaking them for a boy, even when that person insists "well why does that kid dress like one then", or says that " "they" is not a correct way to refer to a person in the english grammar".

And Cathy's reminded that what matters the most is this moment and what feels good right now, and that they will always be loved unconditionally.

#really tried my best with this. english is hard and putting thoughts into words is harder

[woofdrm]

I am so incredibly mad and frustrated, and I cannot believe that no one has published a full 2-hours video essay on the dehumanisation of Dream yet.

The fact that most "antis" are fans of other CCs and pretend to be saints-of-morality leftists while always behaving like puritains and conservatives is absolutely mind-blowing and needs to be studied, like they just keep calling Dream a racist, homophobic, mysogynist ... based on old views of him he has clearly evolved from, but no they HAVE to use right-wing rhetoric and refuse his growth because it helps them demonize him even more! They can't help but behave like kiwifarms users because they feel justified because it's Dream and for them there is no such thing as reformative justice when it comes to Dream!

I'm honestly extremely worried seeing people's absolute lack of empathy when it comes to him, he is way too loving and kind for his own good, despite everything he went through.

They don't even care about the truth or about real victims, they just want him gone or dead. Yes it is important to support a victim at first but not BELIEVE everything until there is another side, like recently with the Inquisitor situation (tiktoker had grooming allegations and killed himself, then it was proven he was innocent), they can't help but twist everything he says. Even BBH said he believes him and now everyone is harrassing him despite the fact that he HAS BEEN SHOWN the proof that will come out soon, but they don't believe him and they don't want to wait and see it because they WANT Dream to be a groomer just so they can justify their hatred.

Let's not even talk about the fact that "big" stan and troll accounts and small CCs (some of them known by the CCs they stan) are leading the harrassment campaign and that some of them interact with leaktwt when it's convenient to them and helps their cause (ruin Dream's life)

In the end it was never about supporting the alleged victim, it was always about having one REALLY damaging reason to hate, harrass, bully, dehumanize him. He doesn't talk about it? GUILTY! He talks about it extensively and will release proof? GUILTY! Let's not even mention the amount of grooming jokes they make about him but when he jokes ONCE about the trauma he had to endure for this entire past year he's getting crucified. (Let's not forget that people like Tommy or Jack etc have also made jokes about "miners" but no one said anything to them). Regardless of what he does or say they are never gonna believe anything he says and it pisses me off so bad because it causes so much damage to actual victims. It's always "always believe victims! all of them!" but when they hear about Mascara or time suddenly it doesn't apply to them.

The way all these people behave really brings me back to 2020-2021 MCYT where every CC was put under the microscope but it feels even worse this time. I seriously hope Dream has a really strong support system because things are clearly going out of hand. I can't believe he is receiving worse treatment than actual proven groomers (James Charles, Colleen Ballinger...) and they also keep changing the definition of grooming to fit their narrative... Media literacy is DEAD.

(sorry for the length of this btw I just had to rant about it)

Rant away anon, this was an enjoyable read.

#offerings

[highdefinitions]

Rain being a prick (lovingly) is my new favorite thing ever I think and I really don’t think there’s a better way to sum up the bastard than that lmao

but oooo would love to hear your hcs!!

LMAOO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO EXPLAIN IT OKAY!!

also...apologies in advance but i have a GOOGLE DOC of my ghoul hcs and well...rain's section is like the second or third longest so don't say i didn't warn you... going to put them all under the cut for space reasons... it gets pretty long... apologies in advance for the fuckin essay i gave you to read but like YOU ASKED FOR IT YOU OPENED THIS DOOR..

like i said, prick (lovingly). he's a charmer, a sarcastic prick and sometimes breaches the level of being an outright dickhead, but nobody faults him for it. it's who he is, how he is. he's lovable almost, he turns it into something different that anyone else is able to (i'm way better at writing it than i am explaining it, i think... comes out better in dialogue)

so this was like the first thing i ever wrote about rain btw but... although he's super friendly and has never really given anybody issues about anything or picked a fight about something, something is...very off about him. like waaayyy off. he's super off-putting sometimes in a way that nobody can really describe but sometimes it's super duper jarring to everybody. because he's Nice!! but he's so fucking Weird!! and not even in like a super obvious way but in a way where if you spent too much time around him you really start to notice it.

and i have reasons for this!! drumroll please.... it's because rain's not from hell, but rather from limbo! yeahhh he's not all the way normal. and that's okay. everybody still loves him. sometimes he freaks the fuck out of dew and swiss but they Love him!! ALSO he's got the tiniest bit of quintessence in him that's he's not been able to control because he didn't entirely know he had it (aether figured that one out) ((copia's never been able to summon a Normal ghoul))

but despite all this weirdness and off-puttingness (? that's not a word), everybody loves him. he doesn't necessarily bother anybody, it's almost like he's not even different to anyone anymore, but sometimes, you notice his ways are a little unconventional. he's definitely different from everybody else, but it takes a lot more looking into now. when he was first summoned, he was a disaster. the only people that didn't seem at all bothered by him were aether, mountain, and copia. cumulus tried, she really did, and for the most part it worked but sometimes...

most definitely the scariest when he gets angry. doesn't happen often and it takes a lot to really break to that point, but holy fuck when he's angry it's terrifying. mostly because it doesn't happen often, but also mostly because he goes Cold (physically and figuratively)

he's just about as good of a troublemaker as dew or sunshine or swiss are. he's just better about keeping himself out of trouble. he's a sneaky bastard. and 9/10 he feigns innocence so well everybody just turns the other way because "rain would never." but he would. every time. he would. conniving prick. sometimes if he's good enough about it, feeling particularly like an instigator, he'll line it all up so dew gets into trouble for it.

now i guess some weird & random hcs i have about him... he likes to drink saltwater, mostly for headaches (don't ask him how it works, it just does)

he's very good at puzzles, like disgustingly good

loves apples, but not the peel. and he doesn't like to cut it up himself, but much rather prefers when somebody else does it for him. he'll just carry around an apple until somebody takes it from him and cuts it. it's usually mountain. he'll cut it up into slices too ...i definitely did make this hc into a fic

he's the best at pool. it drives dew and swiss up the wall that they can't beat him—even if they're on a team together against him. rain sometimes like to hustle the siblings that don't know about his skill. he thinks it's funny. he's definitely hustled copia a time or two about giving him a break from band practices.

really likes horror movies but he gets scared when he watches them alone so he always drags somebody into his room to watch them with him. but he's also always grabbing onto them and subconsciously squeezing a little too tight during tense parts. ALWAYS jumps at every jumpscare but pretends like they don't get him.

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG IF YOU READ THIS ALL YOU DESERVE AN AWARD I THINK I AM SO SORRY I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT RAIN OHMYGOD

#percy’s asks #rain ghoul #do not leave me alone in a room with a computer that has access to google docs or else i will hc your rain water ghoul #sorry that this is actually longer than most crucial government documents

[the-knife-consumer]

Is Hardenshipping canonn?

Honestly wanna say no bc. Like. Obviously it's never been explicitly stated. So. No.

HOWEVER it is very fun and personally rewarding to speculate so. Thats under cut

Hehevwgeh they do have a lot of overlapping themes in their characters that i really love pointing out so whhhgh i'll just list them because surprise surprise (not a surprise this happens every single time) once i talk about something i like my brain turns to mulch and i can't essay like i usually do.

So, interesting things (minus images for most bc i dont feel like finding them)

-there's a mention of how they apparently used to be on the same team at some point in the past (i have a funny hc/au for what this "same team" is but i've yet to even mention or draw for it oops)

-the end of the main story where they reconcile. Just that entire scene (i've only really seen the alpha sapphire ver. Of this scene but whatever. Have seen the omega ruby one but i forgor what they say help)

-not really a. Like hardenshipping thing but OUGHGJJ MY GOOODDDD.... the very prevalent parallels between them and their respective legendaries. The constant feud and anger that kyogre and groudon hold for each other- the only break from their fights being brought on by rayquaza FORCING them to stop (the player being the rayquaza in this situation, hint hint). Rayquaza coming down from the sky to keep two idiots from killing everybody. Small child blasting through an entire evil corporation to keep two idiots from killing everybody. Literally the same.

Theres no way this could be just subtext, i feel like they kind of intended for people to make this connection its just one of those things thats SO obvious but still so fun to point out. I love symbolism and subtext and reading between the lines and *explodes*

-Another thing i find interesting is their outer shell compared to their actual personalities and ideals.

Archie seems very friendly and lighthearted (at least compared to maxie being an uppity dick). He uses more kind language when referring to the player- kind being less professional and less detached. He comes off as much more relaxed, but he holds a concerning amount of apathy towards humankind. Team aqua's goal was to drown everyone, thinking that if they did then the world would be perfect for pokemon to thrive in. Archie wanted to flood the world with the wellbeing of pokemon in mind. (Which. How the fuck does that even work) (also opens up the speculation of what could've possibly made him care so little for people's wellbeing, and what made him care for the lives of pokemon so much more)

Maxie comes off very cold. He tries to be professional. While archie saying scamp comes off as playful, maxie calling you "child" just instantly hits as condescending. (Can you tell i love-hate this fucking toxic slutch monster) (another btw, in his defeat animation he loses his cool for a sec and freaks out before composing himself, when you'd expect something like this from archie. Archie's lose animation is leagues calmer. Although this is a really small detail i feel like it gives great insight into their actual personalities. I love small details hoohoo) and even though he acts like this, he cares a lot for other people and made his team's goal to dry up all the water so humans had more land and could advance quicker. maxie wanted to dry everything up with the wellbeing of people in mind.

(Which, again, HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK????? PEOPLE NEED DRINKING WATER???? HELLO???????????????)

-as per previous points, they are both very, very dumb.

-and oh yeah. The model boats. Oh my god. I lose my MIND over this little thing they share in particular because uuoiuuhsaaaaaaaagh. AAAAAGHHH.

Archie having a model ship makes sense, you know? He loves the sea- wants to drown everybody- yeah. It makes sense that he has a model ship.

But maxie. Woagh. Woauagh. Bro. What if we had matching model ships. And we were both boys (i say matching bc the 3ds overworld isn't very detailed so they look the same. Could be different for all we know.)

Why would maxie have a ship? He wants to dry up the sea. It's pretty safe to say he's either indifferent to sea-based travel, or he hates it. Boats, ferrys, ships, those wont be needed in the world he wants to create. But he has a model ship in his bedroom. A model ship that is absolutely spotless, not a single mote of dust.

Why does he take such good care of something that- according to the rest of his character and motivations- he shouldn't care about?

(Could those matching model ships that they have be something significant from their past when they were on good terms? Maybe something to do with that same team they were on?)

-also there's this which is worth mentioning i think because damn.

Theres more stuff that i could mention but paraphrasing is exhausting and my brain has shriveled up.

#pokemon #knife's brain puke #hardenshipping

[cowboyb1ues]

if you’re taking requests can i request a dating kieran tierney includes? he doesn’t get enough love😩😩😩

Ohh, I have never made one of these before so sorry if it sucks. And you are 100% right dear anon, that man doesn't get enough love, it's a crime.

also, since there’s not a lot of kt content on here i would highly recommend all of you check out @tommyspeakycap and @narchoe since they have some wonderful pieces for him.

also also, sorry this turned out so long but my silly little brain just simply couldn’t stop,,, my love for this man is too big smh

Kieran Tierney x fem!reader

my masterlist :)

He strikes me as someone who just adores his partner so much.

Like he genuinely believes you’re the greatest person he’s ever met.

He’s just constantly fascinated by you and everything you do.

And he’s the most supportive bf ever and you can’t change my mind.

Like if you go to uni you can bet that he’s there as your number one supporter and will bend over backwards to assist you in any way that he can even if it’s proofreading essays he has no idea what is about.

His heart is absolutely on the brink of bursting out of his chest when he sees you in the stands during games - whether it’s for Arsenal of Scotland nt.

And he just can’t stop himself from giving you a deep kiss when he finally sees you in the tunnel after a win, flipping off his teammates as the shout at you to get a room.

But the comforting hug and back rub he gets after a lose also warms his heart beyond belief.

Any time he goes grocery shopping he buys something for you, whether it’s a bouquet of flowers or your favourite chocolate bar. It’s a tradition that has lasted the entire course of your relationship and he refuses to ever break it.

He has a picture of the two of you that his mum took when you visited Scotland for christmas as his phone’s lock screen. He had his arm over your shoulder and one of yours was around his waist and both of your smiles were almost as blinding as the christmas lights around you.

He insists on teaching you all the scottish lingo btw, just so you can keep up when you go home to visit his family but he always ends up laughing when you try to mimic his accent.

And when you’re there he takes you on the grand tour and shows you all the places he holds dear to his heart, desperate to integrate you into every part of his existence.

Also, his accent is 100% the most deep in the morning when his head buried against the fluffy pillows and your fingers run through the short strands of hair.

If you get a dog you can be sure that evening walks become an integrated part of your daily lives the days he’s not training or playing a game.

Just walking hand in hand down the sidewalks while one of you have the leash in your other hand and you just talk about your day.

He takes so many photos of you, just at all time. Some of them turn out wonderful and he claims that they should be hung in a museum, while others are of you mid sneeze or yawning.

He airdrops/sends the bad ones to you when you both just lay on the couch or in bed and laughs and jumps up when the inevitable pillow is thrown his way.

He always tries to convince you to go on runs with him, insisting that it will be a cute couple thing that you can do together. But after you tried it one time you are quick to always decline his offers with a laugh and small kiss to the cheek.

Before you move in together he absolutely loves to spend time at your apartment. You don’t really get why bc it’s small and you have a roomie while he has a whole ass house to himself.

But he just shyly admits that he likes the normalcy and anonymity he has there while buried under your light pink bed sheets and surrounded by university books.

He feels like he’s living in the space that you had carved out for yourself in his heart when he just gets to lay on your soft bed and watch you write essays or read your books.

And when you move in together his heart swells as he sees how your lives get merged together into a home.

He tries to teach you football tricks and rewards you with a kiss whether you fail or succeed at doing kick ups.

Also, he always insists on being the one to carry bags when you’re out shopping, never wanting you to lift a finger.

And if at some point you decide to have kids he would just be the sweetest most attentive partner, always making sure you’re comfortable and getting up in the middle of the night to go to Tesco to get your weird 3 am craving.

And when your little baby finally makes its grand debut he just falls even more in love with you as he sees you hold the little one the two of you had created together in your arms, tears swimming in your eyes as you traced the nose you already can see looks just like his with your finger.

And yeah, as i said he just loves you so much

And you just love him just as much bc how could you not?

#sorry anon if this is shit but i have a fever and this is the best i can do but i loved the request so much that i had to write it asap #<333 #football #football imagine #arsenal fc #scotland nt #kieran tierney #kt #kieran tierney fluff #kieran tierney smut #kieran tierney blurb #kieran tierney blurbs #kieran tierney imagine #kieran tierney imagines #kieran tierney one shot #kieran tierney fan fic #kieran tierney fic #kieran tierney x reader #kieran tierney x you

[enjennie]

In The Limelight [chenle x reader]

Summary: Tutoring the CEO’s son, when you’re barely interested in business. And falling for him, when you knew nothing about love.

Genre: Fluff. Rich kid!Chenle Tutor!Reader

Warnings: None

a/n: not proofread! I’ve been in a slump lately ☹ my works haven’t been satisfying me but I hope you enjoy this! btw omg this is a reupload bc the first time... somehow, the paragraphs were jumbled up? 

 “Y/N, there are flowers on your desk,” your classmate gestures behind them to the classroom you were headed to before quickly passing by. You could only nod, a little taken aback by the sudden information you received. Flowers? As far as you know, Valentine’s had passed, so has white day and it’s definitely not your birthday.

But as you enter your classroom, the bundle of flowers catching your eyes, you knew one thing for sure was from who it was. As you approach your desk, you lift the thoughtful gift and inspect the small card attached to the string that tied it beautifully together. ZCH, it read in cursive.

 “How was your day?” Chenle’s voice can be heard from the other line, the smile on his face almost something you can hear along with it.

“It was great! Thank you for the flowers, by the way. They’re delightful,” you beamed, eyes landing at the arrangement that now sat on your vanity. Chenle chuckles, his laughter sending serotonin to run through your body.

“Not a problem, I’m glad you like them,”

“Though I’d appreciate if you gave them to me yourself,” you cheekily continued. Chenle could only smile, his face softening at your request. It was a simple request. Yet, he couldn’t do it.

When you notice the silence that follow, you immediately regret what you said. You desperately try to backtrack, sputtering out words. “Well- I mean-, It’s fine- Thank you, still! I love them,”

Chenle hums, “I know. Don’t worry. You’ll wait though… right? It won’t be long,”

You plant your feet to your carpeted floor and nod, even if he can’t see you. “Of course, Lele,”

 Zhong Chenle is the son of the most respected CEO of one of the biggest corporations in Shanghai the entire world. Chenle was the next in line to the company. After his brother had expressed how the business world didn’t interest him, the responsibility immediately fell into Chenle’s hands. And even if music was his love and calling, he had to let it go as to not disappoint his father.

Chenle had accepted it some time ago, going to school only for the degree so he could be eligible to own the business. He accepted the fact that he was going to be living the life his father made for him, not one he made for himself and it was the hardest pill to swallow. But things changed when he met you. There was more purpose to the things he does, it wasn’t just for nothing. Life had gone from monochromatic to colorful.

 “Miss, Y/N. Mr. Zhong just moved and he has to take this class to pass the semester. I trust you can fill him in with our module? Mr. Zhong, this is Miss. Y/N, she scored the highest during midterms,” your world economics professor had marched towards you after class, a tall boy following behind her. He looked just as oblivious as she did, to the sudden weight and pressure being put on you.

You merely nod and say a simple hello, not being able to say anything else. It wasn’t a question, this was a demand. Jeez if I was gonna teach your student I should get a portion of your pay. You thought bitterly. At the time, you were struggling to juggle a part-time job at a café while also maintaining your grades to keep your scholarship.

When your professor left you two, the boy kept his hands buried in his pockets. His clothes were semi-casual and his hair was styled nicely. Who the hell moves halfway through the year?

“So, Mr. Zhong-“ you take your books into your arms and lazily sling your bag over your shoulder, heading towards the door with him trailing behind you.

“Chenle-, You can call me Chenle,” he finally spoke, startling you a little with how cool and soft his voice is as opposed to his striking visual that intimidated you at first.

“Nice to meet you, Chenle,” you give him a smile.

You were gonna be around this guy for who knows how long, might as well try to be his friend. Maybe it’ll make the teaching less of a chore.

  “Wrong,” you huffed, marking his essay and adding in annotations. “Chenle, remember there is a specific way to start these essays and that’s by defining the terms you’re using,”

The boy sat opposite of you, arms crossed and back against the couch comfortably. You were in a café. The café you worked in, to be precise. Your schedule today overlapped with Chenle’s and as much as you didn’t want him to see you slaving around, you also couldn’t miss this paycheck at the café. You gave him an essay to write just to check on his phrasing and structure and left to buss some tables and serve orders. But when you came back, Chenle barely wrote anything and could care less about it.

“Can we not study today?” he whined.

You and Chenle have been meeting each other for a month now, and you’d soon learned about the type of boy he is, the life he led. In ways you didn’t expect to.

 The first time you found out about Chenle’s reputation was through the newspaper. No, not the school newspaper. Not even the local newspaper. But on the Wallstreet Journal, when you had to grab material from any recent article for a class. Chenle’s name floated along with the words ‘Young entrepreneur’ and their company’s name. You gasped so loud you had to excuse yourself from the library and leave in a hurry. That afternoon you smacked him on the shoulder with your thick world econ textbook.

“You’re from a family of business corporates and you’re learning world economics from someone who crammed the exam?” you exclaimed. He stared at you blankly, book in hand and pen in the other.

“And you don’t pay me!” you added. The fact that you’ve been tutoring someone as rich as Chenle just didn’t make sense to you. Why not go to a professional? Instead, he was here with a sleep deprived college student who sometimes mixes up business terms just because she couldn’t care any less. World Economics was a mandatory for you. You studied to pass, sadly.

“I could start paying you, name the price,” he said easily. But you shook your head.

“I didn’t mean it that way, sorry. I actually don’t care about the money,” You led him to the picnic bench with the table outside school grounds and propped your book on it along with your bag before taking out your bento box. “Just blows my mind how you won’t just pay for the classes. I don’t teach that well-” you continue.

“I like you, though,” Chenle calmly interjects. You look up at the boy, movements being halted by his bold statement.

“Pardon?” you felt the need to have him clarify what he said.  The boy leaned across the table, over your textbooks and notes. “I like you,” Chenle repeated himself, but the impact it had on you was just as powerful and hit you hard. Your heart was doing somersaults.

Chenle’s eyes grew thin as he smiled, backing away from you and sitting back down.

“So, chapter 12,” he starts flipping his book nonchalantly, leaving you out of breath with a heart hammering in your chest.

  “What do you mean not study today? You have an upcoming quiz with Mr. Byun this Friday and mind you, that man searches for wrongs, not rights,” you raised a finger at him, shaking it matter-of-factly.

“No, let me help you. Do you usually run the café on your own?” he closes the book and takes his essay from your hand. You’re left slack jawed.

“No. I- Johnny couldn’t come in today,” you explained. Suddenly, you were stammering as if explaining to your boss. At first, you were doubting if it was the same Chenle you were reading about in the articles. The boy you were tutoring didn’t come off as someone who would be running corporates and buying stocks or whatever. He was more laid back and relaxed. Aside from the way he dressed, nothing gave it away that he was indeed the CEO’s son. But there were times where you got a dominant feel from him. Times when he stood with much authority and didn’t accept no for an answer. In those moments, you realize how Chenle’s presence alone demanded respect.

Soon enough, you found yourself behind the counter with Chenle beside you tying the apron to himself. He looked cute, somehow. The way he smiled at customers and tried giving them their recommendations set butterflies run free in your stomach, you almost swooned. He didn’t get much studying done that day, but you surely did. You learned the fact that you falling slowly but surely with Zhong Chenle.

  There were two chapters you’re left to cover. In the short month and a half, you managed to teach Chenle six month’s worth of topics. Seeing him every other day made Chenle a familiar face to see around. Of course, you never actually got to see him around campus when you weren’t tutoring him. It left you wondering if you were actually teaching a ghost. But all doubts went away when the girls in your class started whispering about the cute boy waiting outside class. You quickly found out it was Chenle who they were talking about, and he was there for you. It was safe to say he wasn’t a ghost and is in fact real.

Carrying his book bag, he was stood against the wall with reading material under his arm.

“Chenle, we don’t have a schedule today,” you walk up to him, trying to avoid the dozen pairs of eyes that watched you. Chenle nodded, “Sorry, I won’t be here tomorrow. My father is bringing me on a business trip,” he states.

It wasn’t new for you to hear this coming from Chenle. Just the other week, his father brought him along to Japan for a company deal and Chenle came back with a little keychain souvenir for you. The same keychain dangled from your bag now as you both walked to the exit of the building. “Are you free?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t bring my book with me tod-“ you begin searching in your bag, even if you knew it wasn’t there. You were just trying to ignore the way his question made your heart jump.

“I mean… for dinner. Are you free for dinner?” he places a gentle hand on yours, stopping you from looking further in your bag. Chenle’s bold movements sometimes took him by surprise as well. He quickly retracts his hand, shoving it in his pockets. You let go of your bag, placing your hands on either side of you.

“Why?” you squinted at him suspiciously.

Chenle’s smile is small, but doesn’t go unnoticed by you as he turns his head towards his car then back down at you. “Listen, you don’t have to overanalyze this. I just want to treat you,”

  Chenle had thought about it a hundred times or more, before finally making a decision. Although you’ve been seeing each other in cafes and libraries for some time now, he didn’t want to consider those as dates. Sure, it gave him time to admire you up close and get to know you but he wanted you to know his true intentions. The only problem was boy, was he a wuss. And were you oh so dense!

Despite the subtle and not so subtle hints he’s given you, you remained clueless about his feelings. Unsure, confused and just downright oblivious. From the way he looked at you to how he vocally told you he liked you. You shoved everything under the rug, afraid that this boy was just toying around with you and having a laugh. He found it cute.

 It didn’t matter that you were in your school clothes, carrying about three thick books in your shoulder bag. He thought you looked stunning. You ate at a pizzeria just in town and he expressed how it tasted just like pizza from Italy. You said you wouldn’t know the difference since you’ve never been, and had a laugh about it.

The walk from his car to your apartment wasn’t that far, it’s just that he had to park a little further since there was no more space left in front. As you walked together, you noticed how the vibe and atmosphere between you two that developed as the night deepened, was different. More lax, comfortable. Like friends? You were both silent, until Chenle piped up.

“I lied, I didn’t just want to treat you,” he muttered, looking into the distance of your quiet street.

You turn your face towards him and you catch a glimpse of his face in the moonlight before looking away. He’d taken your bag from you and had it around his shoulder now. Him in his white polo shirt and brown suit jacket. He was always dressed like he was attending some kind of formal event. That’s Chenle for you. Mr. CEO’s son.

“Then?” you prompted him to continue.

Chenle averts his attention towards you as you finally reached the front of your apartment. You both stop walking, facing each other with the moon as your spotlight. You look at him from the light of the moon, it illuminated Chenle’s features perfectly. You would be able to inspect him when he studied, but each look at him made you breathless every time you had to look away. Much like right now.

“I wanted to take you out. Like, on a date,” Chenle confesses.

You could never wrap your head around how bold Chenle could be. Always leaving you flustered after saying such things, this boy was your weakness. But you didn’t give in. At least, you tried not to.

“Oh,” was your only response as you put your hands together, looking up at the tall boy. You hoped it wasn’t obvious that heat was rushing to your cheeks and ears by now. You could practically feel your blood flowing through your body, making you feel warm all over. “It was fun, I enjoyed it,” you shyly admit.

Chenle takes a step forward, raising his hand to palm your cheek gently. It’s the first time he’s ever gotten this close. “But I’m not sure you’re ready for my world yet,” his voice is lower, cool. Like wind.

You part your lips slightly, willing yourself to breathe. Your breath is unstable, shaky. This time, you take a step forward. “Are you underestimating me?” You don’t know where the surge of confidence came from, but you were thankful for it. The look of surprise is quickly melted into amusement as this was definitely the first time you ever made the second move to the dozens of times he’d left you flustered.

Chenle dips his head down close to your face. Eyes trained on each other, you tried to get yourself to breathe. He looked alluring, and you watch his eyes drop to your lips. Your head had become blank, nothing in mind. Just him. Chenle, and nothing else. His calm eyes, button nose and plump lips that you so very badly wanted to press against yours. “Are you sure?” he whispers.

You close the space between you and Chenle, lining your lips with his and connecting them together. The sensation almost sending you on your knees, you grab onto his shoulder for support and he holds you up by the waist, swiftly wrapping his strong arms around you. It felt like such a big relief, you almost sighed.

When you pulled away, Chenle’s smile comes into view as you fluttered your eyes open. He places his hand at the back of his head and scratches, suddenly becoming shy. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“You’re something else,” you giggle, smacking his arm before snatching your bag from his shoulder and turning on your heel to leave. You feel his hand against yours, forcing you to stop. “I’ll see you after my trip?” he asks.

“Same time… for class,” you reply, looking back at him with a cheeky smile. Chenle lets your hand go, a smitten smile on his face and a warm feeling in his chest. Zhong Chenle wished things were simpler. He wanted to give you the world.

 “It’s just a black tie party and my dad’s forcing me to come with a date,” he fixes himself in the mirror. He looked handsome, as always. In an all-black suit that fit him perfectly. Dressed like he had someplace to be, people to meet.

You sat on your bed behind him, arms folded and face scrunched up into a frown. A date. Probably someone from a rich family, better than you, his future spouse. They’d have perfect little babies together. All these bitter thoughts were flooding in your brain. When he notices your unusual quietness, Chenle turns to face you and gives you a goofy smile.

“What’s on your mind?” he approaches the bed, placing either hands on the side of you and leaning in close. Chenle could tell when you lied and knew exactly how to make you crack. You pull your knees to yourself and don’t bother hiding the scowl forming on your face. You couldn’t do anything about it. After several talks with Chenle, he explained how much pressure he gets from the media and his family. How dating even became a hassle because of how the pressure would then be shared with his partner.

For years, it wasn’t a problem. He didn’t find anyone that sparked his interest, and only had meaningless one night stands. He was fine with it, really. But all of that changed when he met you. For once, he wanted to go after something he loved. Not let it go, unlike what he did with his own passion for the sake of his father’s dream and business.

You shook your head, ridding the thoughts in your head and throwing them out. “Nothing. I know it’s just business. Message me when you get home?” you didn’t need to ask, but you still do. Chenle always kept you updated, whether if it was how the party he’s in has a chocolate fountain or if the bathrooms have automatic toilets. It was always bizarre hearing about his stories and taking a peek of what his world is like. The world of corporates. You weren’t ready for it, and Chenle knew.

 The secrecy of your relationship didn’t last very long, soon enough it’s got media questioning who Chenle was seeing and your status. After a few run-ins with the paparazzi, you both decided it would be best if your meetups were more discreet. Luckily, the cameras hadn’t captured your face yet, but it was only a matter of time until they did.

To top it all off, the news had spread across campus. Girls left and right claiming they were the one dating Chenle, it didn’t bother you too much. You had a scholarship to keep and a job to go to. Sometimes, you’d find a single rose and a letter waiting for you in class, or at the café. Of course, you and Chenle had wrapped up the tutorial classes and he was able to pass the exam. He was one step closer to his degree, but happy wasn’t the word to describe him.

He yearned to be with you, have you in his arms and spend hours together just like you used to before things got complicated. Chenle grew lonely without your presence as months passed. Nonetheless, you hung onto the string of hope that maybe one day people wouldn’t care so much. That you could take all the criticism, the heat.

 It was around 2am when your phone rang, disturbing your slumber. It was a Friday night and you took it upon yourself to catch up on some sleep after the horrendous exam week you just faced. Chenle had said goodnight hours ago. You wondered who could be calling at such an ungodly hour.

You pick up without checking the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Y/N,” Chenle’s voice filled your ear. Your eyes snap open and you shot up from your bed, pulling the phone away from your ear. Sure enough, it was him. Lele, with a little heart beside the name.

“Hey, are you alright?” You ask worriedly. His voice sounded slow and there was rustling behind him.

Chenle lets out a groan, and your heartbeat picks up its pace. You knew better than to think Chenle would cheat, but it was definitely worrying hearing this without any idea what was going on. “I miss you,” he breathed, voice raspy and low. You couldn’t keep the smile from appearing on your face. In the darkness of your room, your heart swelled with joy. “I miss you too, Chenle,” you whispered back.

Distinct voices come through the line, and you make it out to be Jeno and Jaemin. They’re bickering and you hear a guitar in the mix. “We’ll leave you here, Chenle,” Jaemin calls to his friend before you hear a door close.

“Why did you call?” you ask but you were happy that he did.

“Because I can’t be there with you. Even if it’s all I want right now,” he confessed. Your smile faltered and a hint of sadness falls upon your face as he continues. He was obviously drunk, but Chenle has always been really honest because he couldn’t lie. These days however, you haven’t had the time to talk much and you knew there was a lot on his mind. It hurt to know that it’s been this, and you couldn’t do much about it. “I just want to tell everyone about us. Screw what they think, YN. You’re perfect to me,”

Hearing his words gave you a glimmer of hope. You wished he was right, you wished you could believe it.

“Chenle-“ you sighed. “I want that too,”

There was a moment of silence before his voice came through again and you thought he’d passed out drunk already. “I love you, Y/N. I’ve sacrificed so much for my father, but you’re not going to be one of them,”

His words brought the smile back to your face, tears welling up in your eyes from how happy you were to hear them. It seemed at this moment that you could battle anything, because you were with Chenle. Everything would be alright. He was here and you are too, it’s the two of you against the world.

“Tomorrow, let’s make it official,” Chenle proposed.

You bring your hand up to your lips and bite on your nails, now fully awake more than ever. “Okay,” you agreed. Chenle grins, getting up from his bed. “I’m coming over,” you can hear him walking around now, keys jangling and shoes on his wooden floor.

“You can’t drive-“ you hurriedly try to stop him, keeping in mind his state.

“I don’t drive a Tesla for nothing,” he chuckles. “I’ll be there soon,” The outgoing beeping of the call followed afterwards as he ended the call. The realization hit you a moment later.

 The next day, you and Chenle arrived in school together. He stayed the night, carrying a change of clothes in his bag. For someone who was smack drunk, he sure did pack well.

From the moment you stepped out of his car, many students were around to watch. Exchanging whispers and staring, your cheeks set aflame when Chenle pulls you by the arm, your hands connecting between you and threading together naturally. It drew the attention of many onlookers and you chewed on your bottom lip, not used to the attention.

“They’re staring,” you whisper close to him.

“Let them,” He responds. Chenle tilts your head up to meet his gaze before planting a lingering kiss on your lips, confirming people’s already forming suspicions. “You’re my girl, aren’t you?”

#zhong chenle #chenle #chenle fluff #nct chenle #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream scenarios #nct fluff #chenle au #nct dream au

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

#dsmp fandom critical #kind of? #jic #ask to tag #I am technically defending Kn1fetrick on this post #I am not nice to it but I am defending it technically. If people start being rude abt it I am going to set myself on fire #this IS ludicrously long but I have tl;dr'd it as I do with all my ludicrously long posts. I think I have salient thoughts

[anasticep]

Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine

NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.

NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.

Part 1.

Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.

A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist

Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.

Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.

1. Origins

Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.

Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.

All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.

But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.

“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:

But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.

So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:

On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need

And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.

Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice

Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):

Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie

Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex

Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:

A tomb with a view

Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.

Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.

2. Recruitment

It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.

Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.

Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!

Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.

Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.

What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.

But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.

“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”

But we sidestepped a bit.

3. Pulling the strings

After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.

Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.

What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.

Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».

While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.

Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.

But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?

Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)

Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)

That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).

Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)

4. The Hero’s journey

That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down”. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.

Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.

_______

So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.

Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #jatp meta #jatp analysis #my gifs #my edits #don't crop #please be nice #caleb covington #ana's meta #am i smart? i am #having more brain cells then sunset curve

[dinosaurtsukki]

BSD x university au hc’s | pt. 1

hi i am an absolute slut for university au’s in case you couldn’t tell so i just had to write some for my first BSD post. also this is going to be slightly ooc because i am a crackhead

check out pt. 2 here

***********************************************

Atsushi Nakajima:

he’s definitely the kind of guy who still had no idea what he’d take up in university even after he was accepted 

either wants to not major in anything at all or just major in everything because he’s also scared that he’ll eventually not like what he’s majoring in

so for his first two years you’d probably find him jumping around different classes 

also he still calls the professors ‘teacher ____’ like a high school student and everyone laughs but thinks its cute

eventually, because of his *cough cough* traumatic childhood he decided he wanted to help children by becoming a guidance counselor

he ends up taking Child Psychology and bOY does he love it so much

well he actually just loves all of his classes because Learning is Fun

although because of his *cough cough* traumatic childhood he’s the one in class that people are all like 👀👀

atsushi: *talking about children’s responses to fear and emotional abuse by talking about his own emotional abuse*

the professor, under their breath: wait, do you need help?? 

i can definitely see atsushi as a Roommate of the Year kind of guy. he’s just so polite and tidy with his room. also he’d definitely be the type to take care of plants inside the dorm room and put them on the windowsill

in terms of extracurricular activities, he’s definitely a sporty type of person so i can see him joining a varsity (something like Frisbee because he likes things that go whoooosh) but he’d probably join a student org that does stuff like community outreach

because of all this, he is a Very Busy Boy but his friends do manage to drag him out to parties once in a while

although atsushi would probably sit in a corner and drink only one beer for the entire night 

he’s notorious for helping drunk people though. most of the time he’ll be putting blankets on people and making them drink water

if he knew how to drive he’d definitely be the designated driver

Akiko Yosano:

omg i’m so excited for this i love yosano so much 

she’s the friend who’s just effortlessly awesome all around and a fricking MED STUDENT to top it all off

she gets a bit too excited when it’s dissection time but it’s alright she has good intentions 

probably the only one in your class who doesn’t go and throw up whenever a cadaver is being used (actually do they still use cadavers i have absolutely no idea)

she also interns at the local hospital as part of her degree program but OMG yosano will not stop telling disgusting stories about the patients she’s had

everyone: *eating lunch peacefully in the dining hall*

yosano: so i pulled a guy’s toe out of a meat grinder this morning

everyone: sHUT UP

for some reason she still has a social life despite being a med student and it’s one of the mysteries of life i guess

yosano LOVES going out clubbing on friday nights. if you have the fortune of being her roommate, be prepared for make-overs and being dragged with her out to the city

she’s such a social butterfly like at every bar you go to, the bartender knows her name and her regular order. she’d probably end the night befriending a couple more people

also she’s amazing at karaoke i kid you not

as for extracurricular life, i don’t think yosano’s the type to join an org that’s related to her major cause like ‘what’s the point?’

instead, she’d probably go wherever her friends are because to her, she’ll enjoy any activity as long as she’s with people she loves

but when it comes to her own interests, i can definitely see yosano as someone who loves the outdoors, especially hiking after having to be cooped up inside clinics

it just makes her love and appreciate the value of life more

Kunikida Doppo:

ok, i KNOW he was a math teacher before he joined the ADA bUT i can’t help but think of him as a political science major ??

i can definitely imagine kunikida as someone who’d want to become a lawyer someday and would take political science as a pre-law

he does like the idea of following in the footsteps of great men but omg kunikida would absolutely hate the exclusivity of white, male political theorists

he is such a good student except for when his professor has some sketchy values then kunikida will !! fight him !! every !! chance !! he gets !!

raises his hand constantly to contradict his professor if they even tRY to defend thomas hobbes and authoritarianism

but other than that he’s probably the most diligent student out there. kunikida genuinely enjoys doing the readings for class and writing essays

also has such a balanced schedule that he can make time for anything and everything

except for when his friends dazai drag him out to parties and get a social life

despite how rigid he is, kunikida has absolutely no problem helping out others with learning. he often holds study sessions in his dorm room or in the library before exams

he also likes to volunteer in tutorial centers because he’s just like that

OH OH some of his ‘students’ suggested that he make crash-course type videos for political science and it took some convincing but eventually kunikida decided to go for it

he’s not the most tech savvy or photogenic person so it took some time for him to get used to things but after seeing all the comments from people who benefited from it, he decided to continue with his crash course videos

whether or not he’s the best or worst roommate is completely up to you. if you like someone who’ll basically micromanage your life from your daily schedule to your study habits, you’ll absolutely love him

he doesn’t like to go out for parties that much but he will if his friends convince him enough (kunikida’s an utter lightweight when it comes to drinking though)

Osamu Dazai: 

i genuinely have a hard time thinking about what this guy’s major would be and tbh even his friends have been wondering what dazai’s major was for TWO YEARS

that’s because he keeps taking the most random ass classes like Basic Pottery or Intro to Molecular Biology in the same semester

idk how he even plans to graduate at this point

although to be honest, i can definitely see him as a philosophy major despite the fact that i LOATHE every male classmate i’ve had who’s a philosophy major (idk they’re always so condescending)

i feel like dazai’s just taking that because it’s somewhat challenging for him but to him, university life is just more of crazy experiences rather than learning

and oh my god has he gotten up to the weirdest shit

the number of times he had to climb gates or sleep on benches at three a.m. is too many to count

dazai also loves volunteering for random things like people’s thesis projects (once, he offered to be a snake venom tester to a bio student and they told him that was illegal) or even being the school’s mascot in games

also he and kunikida probably met each other in freshman year at an intro to philosophy class and oh my god did dazai get on his nerves

what’s worse was that they had to work on a group project together and dazai was MIA most of the time and it drove kunikida crazy

that is until dazai showed up last minute to pull an all-nighter with him for their paper and kunikida just couldn’t help but be impressed by dazai’s ~~intellect~~

they don’t exactly get along but they do have some mutual respect for each other enough to work on projects well

omg if dazai ends up being your roommate I WISH YOU LUCK 

the first time you walked into your room dazai was microwaving a metal bowl and you had to run to stop it in time

also he has a tendency to wear his headphones and sing his favorite double suicide song out loud 

kunikida please come pick him up

Edogawa Ranpo:

i love this one man so much i swear to god 

ranpo is definitely the kind of person who just didn’t like school so when college applications came around he was just like ‘why bother though ???’

his friends did convince him by saying that he wouldn’t have to do subjects he wouldn’t like and just focus on his major (this is a lie btw)

is it a surprise that ranpo would choose forensic science ?? NO

he thinks its cool that he can learn about something he’s already super good at and it just gets him really pumped up to show off how good he is

LOVES getting praised by his classmates and professors

ranpo probably thinks lectures are boring as hell so sometimes he just,,, doesn’t,,, come,,, to class

if attendance IS required you can bet he’s bringing snacks and game consoles with him and sitting WAAAAY in the back of the room

Mukbang at a Lecture Hall with Edogawa Ranpo

his classmates think its cute that he puts on glasses before doing exams or answering his prof’s questions as a way to hype himself up

everyone calls him ‘The Greatest Detective’ and ranpo LOVES IT

despite that, he’s not too overly social he just likes being with his close group of friends UwU

he’s also someone you can drag around to places like the fair or an aquarium, but he’s not into clubbing or drinking for that matter

he DOES enjoy seeing his friends get drunk and mess with them though

ranpo isn’t into joining student organizations BUT he gets scouted a lot by detective agencies and he likes interning for them

i’m saying detective agencies because police are gross

ranpo did end up joining a baking club with the assumption that he would just be EATING the cake and not BAKING the cake

yeah he was just there for less than half a semester

***********************************************

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @tpwkatsumu @laure-chan​

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #atsushi nakajima #akiko yosano #kunikida doppo #osamu dazai #edogawa ranpo #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bsd writing #bungou stray dogs writing #bsd university au #bungou stray dogs university au #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs imagines #bsd scenarios #bungou stray dogs scenarios

[risingsunresistance]

I've been listening to red vox (since you recommended it) and I was wondering what your favorite song by red vox is? so I have somewhere to start

im sorry but there is no easy way for me to answer this because i’m Like That so prepare for an essay JFHSDKJ, i dont have one favorite i just have a ranked list within every album lmao. i’m putting it under a read more just to keep it contained,,,

ok so basically, you need to listen to the entire realign album. it’s so... YEAH. god it’s so good. if i had to pick just a couple songs on that album, it’d be i don’t mean to complain, anesthesia, and the reason this is happening

another light is my second favorite album!! the whole things blends together well so it’s another i’d say you should listen to the entire album for, but if you don’t wanna do that the SONG another light is also rlly rlly good. also settle for less, in the garden, and forgive and forget... also very good ones

define me and kerosene from the kerosene album are so painful in the best way, they make me wanna SOB for some reason jfkhdjg. ghost page is (in my opinion) the coolest song on the what could go wrong album. flat on your face is a VERY good song from their lost for a while EP, same with patiently undone (great song to drive to btw, it hits different in a car)

also!! stranded. it’s a 9min single and i know that’s very long but i promise IT’S SO WORTH IT, IT’S INCREDIBLE IN EVERY WAY

oh and they have more songs that weren’t recorded under “red vox” but they’re still on spotify! highly recommend listening to room to breathe if you wanna quietly have your soul ripped apart. ruminator and walking illusions/counting sand are two other bangers from there <3

god i hope all these links worked

tldr: please listen to the realign album, it’s so good. it’s the first link in this essay JFHDSKJG

#thank you for making my night but im sorry i cant answer like a normal person DJKSHJKFG #asks #n1ghtangel #edit: i'm listening to what could go wrong rn bc of this ask #and i forgot how GOOD it is #i usually dont listen to it like i do the other albums... idk it's just not my vibe most of the time #but MAN it's good..... in a dream is just <3 !!

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] (American) College!AU Demon Brothers

Scenario: Headcanons on the demon brothers as college students (specifically in the US because I don’t know how college works elsewhere), their possible majors, career goals, extracurriculars, ~GPA~ and whatever else I could think of + how meet you in college

Note: I’m hoping to do a Part 2 with the Undateables but honestly… we’ll see lol. This is based off something ~A~ and I thought of for our specific university but we’ve made it broad enough to share HAHA this turned out VERY long

- 

Lucifer

Majoring in Political Sciences with a minor in Psychology

Pre-Law-- most likely immigration law or child custody (there’s definitely a backstory here)

Initially went to community college for the first two years to save up money to take care of his younger siblings

Rejected an offer to go to an Ivy League because it was too expensive; if his siblings ever found out they’d be furious that he’d give up on that chance, but he knows he can succeed wherever he goes (and besides, family is first) 

Transferred into a 4-year university his junior year 

Very high GPA-- VERY

In a professional fraternity with Diavolo and Barbatos 

He didn’t think he’d join one either but Diavolo was the vice chair when he transferred in and the president the year after so… ~nepotism?~ and also Lucifer is charming as heck so no surprise he’d get in

Also rooms with Diavolo and Barbatos

Goes to the gym regularly just to keep fit; gets goaded by Diavolo and Satan into joining an IM team with his frat brothers and actual brothers-- probably basketball or flag football

Probably meets you at a interclub council meeting and mutters under his breath how useless the board members are and you overhear 

“Never have I met more incompetent people.”

“Lmao mood”

“!!!”

Keeps sitting next to you at every interclub meeting then after because at least there’s someone that can keep his mind stimulated (thinks you’re hot if you’re competent btw)

If you somehow meet him on campus, he’s the type of guy to put his hand up and pretend he didn’t see you (just kidding, he always ends up saying hi anyways) 

Will Absolutely Lecture You if you are procrastinating on studying especially if your midterm is, like, TOMORROW

Always ends up studying with him because he’s actually focused on studying and glares at you if you get distracted (but hey you get good scores in the end)

Mammon

Majoring in Business Econ/Economics, Minoring in Statistics

(always ends up in the middle of the “is econ a humanities or a STEM major” debate that leaves him left for dead) 

Planning to work in Business as Finance -- probably has been treasurer or finance director for a club; can even see him being a banker if it suits his plans better

Goes to a four-year university

Decent GPA (or Lucifer would absolutely destroy him), and does REALLY well in mathematics classes

Would room with Lucifer and his posse if they all go to the same school 

Probably in a Business Frat as well because he’s pretty charismatic when it comes down to it but  was an RA for some of his years for the free rooming and dining hall privileges 

Is a very chill and understanding RA (as in he smokes weed with you when he’s off-duty) but is surprisingly well-versed in dealing with roommate issues

Works part-time (gasp) to buy stuff off of Amazon and go out to places 

Spends a lot of time exploring places with his friends, going hiking, rock-climbing, clubbing-- which is expensive, as it turns out, so he needed to be able to afford it somehow

Meets you when you’re eating your lunch outside somewhere and he asks you if you have a dollar he could borrow for a vending machine snack

You exchange numbers with him so he can pay it back (even though you honestly don’t really need it, but why not) and turns out he’s in your GE class

“Heyyy wassup! So glad I have a friend in this class” 

“Oh by the way, did you finish the homework? Haha, I forgot it.” 

Mammon always repays you for your help in food though so you aren’t complaining

Leviathan

Majoring in Computer Sciences

And honestly that’s too much for me already-- the man is doing computer programming, coding-- WHEW-- and they do NOT rest

Goes to a community college but honestly has no problems cinching internships. The computer is his domain-- online applications are EASY, doing projects NOT as easy, interviews? HARD-- REALLY HARD (someone help him)

Probably intends to work with a big company like Google if only to help supply his income so he can live his life going to AX and buying merch 

Most likely moved out of his house mid-college with his online friends (who are luckily compatible with him living-space wise) and visits home once a week 

There’s two potential sides you can meet first: 

Either you meet him at a convention and you both gush about the same character and anime and somehow find each other online (not college related) 

Or his favorite Ruri-chan keychain gets broken off in the computer lab, and you’re the one running after him to give it him

He may or may not owe you his life after that (and if you enjoy anime, well that’s a bonus)

Both of these meetings can happen if he doesn’t recognize you in class because you were in cosplay-- imagine the surprise

The two of you as friends are MASTER PROCRASTINATORS at every assignment the two of you have-- so low-key not a great influence-- but you have fun together watching animes, playing games, talking about life-- anything but actual work 

Always ends up scrambling to finish things-- but he keeps doing it because it’s been working for him so far

You help him prepare for interviews because he’s always nervous before each one regardless of how well his application looks

Satan

Majoring in Comparative Literature AND Anthropology (ya boy is doing the whole nine yards)

Planning to get his Master’s and then a PhD in one of his majors (whichever proves to be more engaging for him)-- visibly excited to become a Professor

College was meant for Satan-- like REALLY; the man is in LOVE with learning; most likely to go and be accepted to an Ivy-League after Lucifer but... truly believes you can get a good education anywhere so it depends on his financial standing (and how much scholarship he gets)

Does get a little disgruntled when his classes aren’t available but doesn’t mind learning something new-- if the professor bores him to death, he’ll read the book

Really good at tutoring people; someone suggests that he works as a peer-learning facilitator/writing tutor and he does-- might as well make bank doing something you always do anyways   

Joins a writing/journal club as an extracurricular and a club that provides tutoring services to the underserved community-- surprisingly good with kids!

He knows friends in high places, so if he wanted to, could get into any party without batting an eye and his favorite professors love him

Spends a lot of his time going out to the city and exploring places, similarly to Mammon, rock-climbing, hiking, paragliding-- anything

He is VERY well-rounded as you can see; competes with Lucifer to see whose GPA is better though

You probably meet him during office hours, and you can only stare in awe as he asks questions that you had in mind, but better; if you’re visibly confused about something, he’ll take his time to help you too (it’s habit at this point)

Ask him for his contact info and you’ll get it, and maybe repay him in coffee? (You always see him at the cafe on campus.) 

Most likely to have a specific spot in a cafe that he is always at that the workers actually save a spot for him or give him his usual order before he even arrives-- may or may not have helped them edit their essays or with their homework as a thank-you so you KNOW they’ll love him forever

The type of person to help you make flashcards and cram if you need it

Asmodeus

Majoring in Dance and Fine Arts (I HC going to NYU specifically)

Considering going for an Master of Fine Arts degree but he might just move to New York and go for being a Broadway Star

College is mainly just training for him and hoping to land gigs in local theater-- and the university theater if there is one-- and building his resume for his big break 

Has SO many extracurriculars, all pertaining to his career choice, but also because he enjoys what he does: drama, competitive dance team, acapella, fashion design

Makes an unbelievable amount of friends, incredibly good at networking

The first time you saw him was when he was performing for a local theater and you were in love with his performance, and the next time you saw him in the hallway of a classroom building, you told him how much you enjoyed it

Always accepts compliments about his looks with grace, but there’s something about truly being admired for his acting and singing that has him preening

Invites you to come out to his next performance, and if not his, then to another play-- and it can be a date, but up to you ;) 

The man is the KING of Multiple Talents and has big dreams to match 

Always finds a way to hang out with you and drag you to every club that he can use his fake-id for (and when he’s actually 21 and above, gets a little offended that he doesn’t get ID’d) 

A night in the town with you is always a good night! 

Sometimes when he has practical exams coming up, he asks you to watch him perform-- and he likes your compliments but actually takes getting all the moves seriously so you better pay attention!

Most likely to move far away to reach his dreams, but he would take you with him if he could-- his little star

Beelzebub

Majoring in Physiological Sciences

Pre-Nursing or Pre-Sports Medicine 

He’s a little undecided, but he’s definitely going to go into the health field because he likes the idea of being able to use his strength to help others

Gets a scholarship from the university because he’s part of the football team, which is actually pretty hard on him because Fall Semester/Quarter he has to keep skipping classes for games  

Always brings a snack to eat with him during lecture-- and is not afraid to bring his entire lunch and make it right in the front row, though he tends to stick to the back because they tend to have electrical plugs 

You most likely meet him during lecture: he offers you an entire sandwich (not a chip bag, not fruit snacks, an entire LUNCH) because he heard your stomach growl during class 

From then on, you collect notes for him when he’s gone from games and even go to games if you aren’t usually the type to just to see how he’s doing; it’s hard trying to find you among the huge bleachers, but he always asks you where you’re sitting anyways 

Really appreciate it if you help him study into late at night because it IS hard balancing sports and academics 

He most likely doesn’t really have any time for anything else so he usually makes up for it during the rest of the year when training is less to volunteer in the hospital or at the gym as a personal trainer 

If you ask him to teach you how to properly lift weights, he’ll definitely help out and the both of you can work out together-- though you feel bad when he has to add four extra weights to each side after you finish your reps

Belphegor

Majoring in Computer Graphics/Animation

Intending to go into making animation or game design-- is one of the brothers who doesn’t really know exactly what he wants to do yet because he’s afraid that doing what he loves as a job will ruin it for him

His family reassures him that they’ll support him whether or not he continues with his path in life, but he’s considering art school and then taking internships in places so he has a better idea on what he wants

Most likely to sell his own original work and become a full-time artist regardless

I think you already know how you meet him-- he’s sleeping in a lecture hall-- either against the wall or on the small piece of wood they call a desk when class ends and he’s still sleeping; and you wake him up 

Sleepily thanks you and continues to sleep through every class that you wake him up to; when you ask him why he doesn’t just go home and sleep, he tells you he’s too lazy to walk back and forth from his dorm/apartment to campus (mood) 

When you add each other on Snapchat or something, he sends you pics of ‘places to nap’ on campus

You always end up studying together because he’s actually pretty good at understanding lecture stuff despite not being awake for most of it-- apparently he’s used to teaching himself 

Will make you art for your birthday and will vehemently refuse payment so he just tells you to take him out for dinner instead 

If you talk about how you’re not sure on what you want to do in life too, he’ll probably say ‘mood’ but is most likely to encourage you to do whatever you want to do in life too 

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me shall we date? #ngl i would date beel in this au 100%

[awed-frog]

Do you have any advice for someone who’s really struggling to study? I’m really stressed and demotivated, and I can’t seem to sit down and just study. In my country we only have virtual classes so maybe It has something to do with that, it’s really sad that it’s my first college year and I haven’t attended one single face to face class. Anyway, If you have any kind words I would really appreciate it. Love your blog btw <3

Hey! Thank you for this! And I’m very sorry you feel that way...just know you’re not alone, I think we’re all a bit ‘what’s the point’ rn, and for students (and teachers) this period must suck especially hard. I don’t know exactly what can work for you, but here are a few things that come to mind. I hope you can find something useful!

Have habits and routines. Our days are all over the place, which is not good for motivation or mental health. Instead of procrastinating, feeling guilty, working in a hurry and then feeling even worse, decide on a schedule that works for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself - give it as much time as you need to do the work well, and devote the rest of your day to stuff that makes you feel accomplished and serene (maybe learn or practice a non-screen skill, such as cooking or painting?).

And: at risk of sounding like a yoga mom, don’t forget about your body. Very often stuff like bad mood or exhaustion has physical, not mental, causes. Try to make time for sport - dancing in your underwear, running outside, walking the dog, online pilates, a 7-minute app - and, if you can, a few minutes of meditation, singing or breathing exercises every day. I’d recommend the ‘cardiac coherence’ stuff - lasts about 3 minutes, makes you feel really great. And: remember to stretch, smile and drink water throughout the day. If possible, go outside or have plants and flowers around you.

When it comes to habit, try to understand what kind of person you are and react accordingly. Some people work best when they change cold turkey (new day, new me), while for others it’s better to adjust things more slowly (for instance by moving the alarm clock forward five minutes every week or two). If you’re the second type, a method like Pomodoro could work well to organize your work schedule. 

Have pretty things. Try switching to ink or coloured pens, have nice stationery, organize your Word documents so they’re neat and tidy, use candles, plants, ‘good mood’ incense - whatever makes you feel your work has meaning and worth.

Try background music. Some people work better with noise, and you can find all kind of noises online, from stations to coffee shops to purring cats. Others like classical music. For me, what works is video game music, which is designed to keep you alert and focused while being unobtrusive.

Try to keep your workspace as similar as possible to a ‘real’ workspace. No stack of dirty mugs and plates, no abandoned pajama bottoms. If you can manage it, start your day as if you were actually going outside - dress for actual human company, put on make-up if you like to - and remember to prepare your desk the night before: textbooks, charged laptop, notebooks, water bottle, possibly a diary or a motivational quote or anything you find useful.

If it helps, study with friends or classmates. Have video meetings, chats or shared Google docs and work together. Rant with people who’re going through the same thing, but also find a way to help one another. If you live with flatmates or family members, maybe you can find a moment to work together on your separate things? Dad does admin, mom prepares a work presentation, you do your homework and that’s ‘work time’ for everyone?

Divide your tasks. Make clear lists of what you have to do - as detailed as possible (not: shakespeare essay, but: 1. read book, 2. write essay, 2b. introduction and so on) and pay attention to when the stuff is due, either writing it down in agendas or post-its or creating alerts on your phone. Some people also like the square of doom (you know, that ‘important + urgent’, ‘important + non urgent’ thingy).  

Keep track of what you’re doing if you find it helps you. There are good apps for this, or you can use a nice journal or an Excel sheet. Track whatever you want - minutes of study, words learned, tasks accomplished...a favourite of mine is ‘a time logger’, which can track your entire day. When I was in uni, it made me realize I was working a lot more than I thought, and reaching daily goals kept me motivated.

Rethink your internet consumption, especially news, TV shows and social media. Try having periods where you go off-screen whenever you need a break. Stuff like, ‘no TV before 6 pm’ or ‘no tumblr on weekdays’ can automatically make you a lot less stressed and a lot more productive. 

You can also decide to modify the way you engage with these things. For instance, if your studies involve a language, you could watch only TV shows in [language], or turn on [language] subtitles, or you could switch to Buzzfeed [country]. If you like IG, pinterest or tumblr, try having a separate ‘weekday’ account which is about healthy escapism and/or accountability: landscapes and poetry instead of fandom content, or a personal blog about your day - use the right tags and connect with others who’re going through the same thing.    

Imagine you’re teaching someone. I’m guessing you’re passionate about your subject, so turn your study sessions into imaginary conversations. Teaching a lesson (or making a speech) is often the best way to see what you understand, what you need to work on, and what you’re interested in learning more about.

Websites like b-ok can help you find books about your subject (or not) - possibly stuff you’re not actually compelled to read, but which sounds interesting nonetheless. Broaden your horizon, discover different stuff, and sooner or later you’ll find yourself making connections between the exciting stuff you’re basically reading for fun and the actual subject you’re studying.

And: remember why you’re studying this. What are you passionate about? Why did you fall in love with your subject? Why are you studying it? Sometimes we have to endure a few boring classes to get to the good part, and that’s okay.

And finally: visualize the future. The world will get better, and at some point you’ll be glad you’ve spent a few (or many) hard and boring hours getting your degree. What are you going to do after this? Make a ‘future’ board, write a fake Wikipedia article about yourself, give a Nobel or graduation speech, give a pep talk to your (imaginary) future children about the hardships you faced on Zoom and how you overcame them to become the mom they know and love. Whatever works, no matter how ridiculous or narcissistic or far-fetched is a good thing!

I hope this helps! Remember to remain calm and positive, and talk to yourself as if you were talking to a child or a best friend. Less You suck and the world is going to end and more Yes, you didn’t do great today, but we can always do better tomorrow, it’s okay to have an off day! Uni is hard enough under any circumstances, and right now...do your best and resist the bait of dark thoughts: we will get through this, and everything will be alright. It’s how it works.

#ask #studying #students problems #life tips #life advice #motivation #anxiety #mental help #singing about the dark times #you can do this <3