#there's a lot about timing in that book im like .... did this author ever have any

[inkskinned]

it's the levels of scrutiny too.

a movie that has a largely-female cast has to be well-written, well-shot, well-acted, well-advertised. people will spend 2 hours on youtube talking about a single plot hole; about a moment of bad pacing, about a singular background character's poor scripting. if there isn't something obvious, they will say - well there's nothing specifically bad, but it wasn't specifically good either.

they will turn out another all-male movie, and it's just a movie.

a book that has queer representation in it has to defy every convention of writing while also being true to traditional plot, structure, format, and pacing. it must have no boring chapters, no missteps, no awkward dialogue. it must be able to "prove" that any queer relationship "makes sense", their sparks must fly off the page and their love must be eternal. the writing must be clear and beautiful, the storyline original and fresh, the values traditional but with an undercurrent that is modern and saucy.

they will turn out another book without queer rep, where a man and woman just-fall-in-love, and it's just a book.

i am latinx. i am queer. i am nb & neurodivergent. my father said to me once: you will need to be exceptional to be just-as-good, and you will need to be beyond exceptional before they see you as just-a-person, and not your labels.

i am not beyond exceptional. i am a human person. i am skilled because i worked my ass off to be skilled.

i am currently reading a book that's so-bad-it's-good about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. i was 64% of the way through the book before she figures out tall-dark-fanged is not natural. i like books like these, i like letting myself relax while i just enjoy the read. but i do spend a lot of time wondering - would this have been published if it was about queer people? would this have gotten past the editors if the characters weren't white and sexy?

i want to write a movie about being a woman in a male space, and i want to start that movie with a 10 minute scene where the woman is lectured with the exact same whining that occurs in the youtube comments of even the trailers for those movies: "haven't we had enough diversity?" "we've had enough girl power movies" "sorry, this is just pandering. it's boring."

here's what's fucked up: it shouldn't matter, you're right. my identity shouldn't fold after my name like a battalion of stars: a cry of what i've gone through. what we all know i had to move past and through. i should just be a writer, plain and simple, without my work being shifted through with tweezers - i know everything i make, always, i am incredibly responsible for. beholden to. i don't like knowing that if i fuck up, i am also fucking up for every person like me. every person in a community i belong to.

once, back in undergrad, i wrote a short story about a girl who had been kicked by a horse. it was my first time writing about my experience with my ocd; i felt proud of it. the story was mostly about grief and slow recovery. the queerness of the main character was not important to the plot, my main character was just-queer. there wasn't even a romantic interest in it.

i remember one of my classmates being disappointed. "i just feel like you always write about girls who like girls, and i'm bored of it," he said. "you're a beautiful writer, but i'm like - oh, at some point, it's gonna be gay again." during the workshop, he folded his hands over my story and said, "and okay, i'm just going to say it. she's ocd, she's gay, she's depressed - it's a little much for me to believe is all happening to one person."

it is a little much to be that person (and more besides). i have therapy weekly, after all.

over and over, belonging to exception.

#spilled ink #poetry #prose #warm up #idk what this is #maybe more of a confession #btw the book is called crave it's OKAY #it's very straight #main character keeps being like totally okay with situations where dude is DEF #being a stalker villian #she's known him for a WEEK and shes like #'hes all that matters' #girlfriend ur parents only died a MONTH ago #there's a lot about timing in that book im like .... did this author ever have any #actually bad experiences #like main character being like ''i shouldn't cry over them it's pathetic'' a mONTH after her parents die #btw this isn't bc she's in denial/suffering/etc it's bad writing #the narrative is instead like #'' .... bc the author doesn't want to remember to discuss it'' #she forgets she has a sprained ankle a lot #tbh im THIS close to saying ''fuck good writing'' #and writing my OWN stupid supernatural school YA romance #and YES!!!!! IT WOULD INDEED BE GAY #''oh this school? we're all... different here....bc... of the witches??oh . i mean yeah but no actually we just really believe in a diverse

[pub-lius]

my biggest problem with a people’s history of the french revolution by eric hazan is that he keeps like. implying that lafayette defected to the enemy (meaning Austria and Prussia), but like. mf was immediately arrested bc he was seen as the cause of the revolution. the only people who saw him as a conservative were in france

#marquis de lafayette #lafayette #lowkey feel like the french revolution has so many figures who are misrepresented by people bc they were more conservative/liberal #like robespierre got the same treatment as lafayette but like reversed #i feel like the american revolution wasn’t so controversial as to have the same effect #and on top of that people have been working since it happened to counter balance whenever that happened #obviously some figures are still glorified but like there’s always been a lot of historians treating them as less one dimensional #but based off the books i’ve read about the frev at least one party is portrayed as one dimensional #and they’re always the villain too #like no one in the frev is overglorified GWKWBWKWN #they’re either a complex person or a one dimensional villain #like hazan shows different elements of robespierre’s character but doesn’t do the same to lafayette #the last author i read (forgor her name lol) showed all parts of marie antoinette and king louis’ characters #she did touch on robespierre a little bit showing his qualities but she didn’t go in depth on any of the revolutionaries really #but like brissot and co were portrayed as just bad guys who never did anything good ever #idk im just kinda used to authors at least attempting to show good and bad #even if its just ‘one time he helped an old lady cross the street and then he slaughtered someone’s entire family’ #no hate to hazan tho this book is awesome #i just wish it wasn’t trying to push such a black and white narrative in this particular instance #for the most part he doesn’t do it with anything else #but tbf i did start reading this bc i needed a more leftist sympathetic book to counteract the strongly royalist one i read before #imma tag this as #books #and #resources #in case anyone wants my thoughts on this book #this rant was longer than anticipated HEKWHWJ

[elliespeach]

you belong to me | part two

 

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: ellie’s crush seems to spiral out of control one day on patrol and now she’s left to face the consequences.

warnings: 18+, strong language, sexually explicit descriptions, ellie and reader smoke weed together, possession and jealousy, david bowe? sandra

wordcount: 3k+ (periodt)

author note: thank you guys for so much love on the first part, i appreciate it more than you know that people enjoy my writing! i saw a tiktok about how moonage daydream is probably one of ellie’s favorite songs and i HAD to jump on it (i dont know who made the tt im sorry) i love that song and personally, i totally see ellie loving it so u know i had to incorporate it somehow. i hope you guys like this one! w loveeeeee

ellie held open the door for you once you reached her garage behind joel’s house. the small but cozy little apartment was familiar to you, the smell of weed and ellie was pungent but delightful as always. a small smile appeared on your lips as you glanced around ellie’s room, you’ve seen it a hundred times but it just screams ellie and you loved every knick-knack. ellie couldn’t help but stare, twiddling with her fingers ever so slightly but when you caught her eye she dropped her hands and her eyes darted to the wall. 

“uh– dina and i smoked my last blunt, gotta roll a new one.” ellie stammered, suddenly really aware of her movements. she made her way to her small couch, gathering her supplies to make the perfect blunt for you. she could roll with her eyes closed, but you made her so nervous and she was worried her shaky hands would spill her stash. 

normally, ellie wasn’t like this around you but given the circumstances, she couldn’t help it. 

fuck oh my god ellie just fucking roll like you’ve done a thousand times. she made the mistake of glancing at you, seeing you looking around her room. her heart nearly lurched from her chest, you fiddled with her paint brushes, leading your finger to the comic book she had open on her desk. rollrollrollrollroll.

“what’s this?” 

“my amazing-spiderman comic, i read it like a thousand times already.” ellie had regained control of her shaky hands, putting all of her focus into it. you let out a small laugh, causing her to lose focus and look up at you.

“nerd alert…” you said under your breath in a joking tone, locking your eyes on her stereo. 

“excuse m–” 

“what tapes do you have?” you searched through her tape box, landing on david bowe, you let out an exaggerated gasp “oh, perfect!” 

ellie scoffed lightheartedly, “i have the blunt ready, when you’re done bullying me.”

“oh please, i could do worse,” you skipped to moonage daydream and pressed play. the music erupted through the speakers and you turned it down to a reasonable volume and turned back to ellie, who was watching you diligently. “thank you.” 

ellie held out the blunt for you and you took it while settling in on the couch, the song vibrating throughout the small garage. “don’t sweat it, anything for you.” 

keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe, put your ray gun to my head

“no, really thank you, for everything.” you said, taking a hit from the blunt. feeling what little nerves you had left diminish into thin air. being around ellie had calmed you down a lot more than you had anticipated, and this was noticeable to ellie as you got more comfortable on her small couch. she watched your every move, fuck you look good hitting the blunt. 

press your space face close to mine, love, freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah

“like i said, anything for you,” you reached out, offering her the blunt next and she took it with ease. “can i ask you something?” ellie asked, her confidence coming back with the high creeping up on her. 

“shoot.” you responded.

“what did you see in her?” along with her question, she passed the blunt off to you, and you hit it while contemplating your answer. 

don't fake it, baby, lay the real thing on me

“i don’t know, if i’m being honest. she asked me on a date and we had a good time,” you took a beat. “it was nice, for a little. i guess.” 

“she didn’t deserve you, you know?” ellie remarked, taking the blunt back. “i’m not saying that because i kissed you, im saying it because i really mean it.” and because i kissed you. because you deserve someone like me. 

not someone like me. just me. 

“yeah, i know.” you answered softly. 

the church of man, love, is such a holy place to be

a silence fell between you and ellie, and she took the time to inhale the smoke into her lungs and back out. it was nearly out now and she ashed it into the tray. you loved the way she looked when she smoked, her hair in a messy bun, eyes red. your mind raced to the thought of her hands on you like they were a few weeks ago, aggressive but polite. the way she treated every curve of your body like it was a piece of artwork, you’d never admit it but you yearned for that feeling again. 

“well, can i ask you a question?” you asked her and she nodded bringing the blunt back to her lips, which somehow gave you small flurries in your stomach. “why did you kiss me?” 

she raises her eyebrows slightly, cocking her head to the side with a smirk. “you kissed me back you know? didn’t we just vow never to speak of it again?” she said in a mock accusatory tone. 

“i asked you a question,” you demanded, half joking. “and we're high, so it doesn’t count.”

make me, baby, make me know you really care, make me jump into the air

she looked down to the blunt between her fingers, choosing her words carefully. “heat of the moment, i think.” lie.

“c’mon ellie, i was honest with you.” you persisted with a laugh, knowing she was keeping the truth from you. 

she breathed out your name and her red eyes bore into yours, “why do you think i kissed you?” ellie spoke softly, as if anyone else would hear. 

she wanted to kiss you again and images of you on your back and your arms wrapped around her neck flooded her mind. it clouded her to say the least, as if the weed wasn’t doing that already. the way your body felt against hers, the electricity she felt when she kissed you and above all, you moaning in pleasure by ellie just simply touching you made her weak in the knees. 

keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe put your ray gun to my head

“i wish you would’ve done it before i went out with her,” you stated, unsure if that was the right thing to say. ellie’s eyebrows raised and you admired her eyebrow slit and how it suited her face well, even if it was an accident. 

“i wanted to ever since you got here,” ellie remarked, thinking about the day you arrived in jackson, she smiled at the memory. “but you were so…you, it made me nervous.” admitting that to you made her cheeks flush bright red and she could feel the heat she was radiating off. 

“oh, wow. i make the infamous ellie williams nervous?” you flaunted, theatrically throwing your hair over your shoulders. 

“shut up.” she playfully pushed your upper body.

“you shut up!” you laughed, pushing her back which resulted in her dropping the small blunt on the floor. you both immediately went to go pick it up, your hands touching as they reached the blunt. you were leaning further over than ellie was, face close to hers and you could swear you felt her breath on your face. 

press your space face close to mine, love, freak out in a moonage daydream, oh

the feeling that came over her the day in the woods was back again, this time in fuller force. every nerve in her body was heightened and her mind was screaming, kiss her you idiot! over and over again until she couldn’t fight the urges anymore.

swiftly, she cupped your face in her hands, pulling you into a deep kiss. it wasn’t hungry or lust filled, it felt sweet and you all but smiled as she did. your hand involuntarily moved up to grab her forearm, desperate for her touches again. and as if she could read your thoughts ellie gently pushed you down so she was over top of you on her small couch. 

the song in the background faded out slowly, the only sound was the heavy breathing of both of you. your legs went around her waist and she lowered herself into you. she pulled away from the kiss, staring at you longingly. a small smile splayed across her face and she reached up to brush away a loose strand of hair from your face. she pushed it behind your ear, following your hair down to your neck with her finger, just looking as if she was committing you to memory. and she was. 

“els?” 

“yeah baby?” she cooed, still hovering her eyes all over you a new found confidence in her, knowing you were just as crazy for her as she was for you.  

her green eyes found yours, “i have patrol in the morning,” you all but whined and ellie groaned playfully, burying her face in the crook of your neck. “i should try and get some sleep,” ellie kissed your neck, sucking on one spot below your ear which made your body twitch. “williams!” you laughed and her face was in front of yours again. 

“stay here tonight?” she asked, almost begged, her puppy eyes nearly bulging out of her head. 

“course,” you replied and she very hesitantly got off of you to go to her dresser. as you sat up on the couch, you noticed the blunt still on the floor. picking it up and seeing it was definitely ashed by now you looked around for her trash can. 

when you went to throw it away you saw crumpled up papers in the bin, ellie wasn’t one to waste and when you reached down to investigate she yelled from across the room, “don’t!” but it was too late, the paper was being unfolded in your hands and when you saw what she didn’t want you too, you understood why.

she had drawn you, on your horse looking out over jackson from the patrol look-out. ellie came up behind you and snatched the paper away from you, replacing it with a large t shirt of hers. “you’ve been drawing me?” you asked sweetly. 

“maybe,” she tried to deflect, “cmon, change. you need your sleep.” you obliged, letting her take the picture which she flattened out on her desk instead of throwing it away again. she was embarrassed about it but you adored it and wondered if that was the first time she had done that. it wasn’t. 

ellie often found herself sketching you, even if she didn’t mean to. she was practicing eyes and thought they looked familiar until she realized they were yours. those were crumbled up as well, probably long gone by now and she cursed herself for it. 

you changed and despite the moment(s) she had with you, she turned away as you did letting you have some privacy. she was waiting patiently, looking at her old books on her shelf when you came up behind her and took her hand in yours. she felt electricity in her hands as you touched her, the feeling not going away as you pulled her into her own bed. 

you fell asleep listening to ellie’s heartbeat in her chest, her arm wrapped tightly around you. there wasn’t much said, the high putting you both to sleep and when morning came ellie was alone in her bed, her clock reading 9:06 am. 

for a scary moment, she thought she had dreamed the whole thing. she got too high and hallucinated you flirting back with her, kissing her sweetly and wearing her t-shirt. she rolled over and noticed a small indent in the bed and could still smell the springy smell that belonged to you. not a dream…

right, you had patrol. but why wouldn’t you wake her? ellie groaned and sat up in her bed, regretful she wasn’t able to say a simple goodbye before you left. she knew from previous trips you’d be back in about an hour, so ellie got up and got ready for the day and set out for the front gates. it was the middle of spring, she decided to wear a short sleeved blue button up with ripped jeans and her converse that desperately needed replacing.

as she approached the gates, the familiar sound of bustling jackson townies filled her ears. she could smell the breakfast from the only restaurant in town and her mouth filled with water, but she was determined to make sure you got back safely first. 

she was approached by dina, who looked tiresome. “thank god we have the day off, im exhausted.” normally, she would agree. patrolling could get boring as often as she did it, the same routes she’s always taken, fighting small groups of infected here and there. but today she wished differently, her eyes darting from dina and the still closed gates, she wished she could have come with you. 

“yeah,” was all she said at first, contemplating telling her friend about the events of last night. sandra breaking up with you, taking you back to her place, how you kissed her back passionately. it made ellie think about how you could have ever been with sandra, and if you ever kissed sandra like that, felt her the way you did with ellie. a feeling of jealousy swarmed over her, glossing over her thoughts and destroying them. had you done all of that with her? did you think about me when you were with her? were you with her like that?

she decided against speaking about it, scared that she would burst into flames on the spot. “i’m switching back to morning patrols next week.” ellie announced to dina who raised her eyebrow in question before coming to her own conclusion about why. 

“so things are good with you guys again?” dina asked, biting into a sandwich and the sight made ellie’s stomach grumble. 

ellie looked everywhere but her friend. “yeah, i guess so.” she figured dina had no idea what transpired last night being so enveloped in jesse, but dina knew something was off even if ellie had stated you two were okay. 

“so, what happened? all the gritty details, please.” dina said in between bites, ellie’s eyes still wandering to the gate. 

“where’s jesse? shouldn’t you two be off, i don’t know, making babies?” ellie said defensively, having no effect on dina being as she's used to ellie’s snarky remarks. she glanced back from the gate to look at her friend whose mouth was agape. 

“oh my god, ellie williams what did you do?” 

ellie scoffed, crossing her arms. “i didn’t do anything!”

“tell me right now, ellie. malcom owes me some favors and putting your name on horse clean-up will be no problem.” dina threatened. 

she sighed, looking to the ground in defeat. “sandra broke up with her and i made her feel better, okay? that’s all.” 

“you boned her the night she got broken up with?” dina asked, astonished at her friend. 

“jesus christ,” ellie sighed. “no, i didn’t bone her, asshole. we just smoked and talked for a while and…” 

“and what?” dina cut her off quickly. 

“she may have spent the night.” dina’s shocked expression changed into a soft one and ellie immediately huffed, looking back to the gate. still not opening. 

“dina!” they both heard jesse’s voice behind them, dina turned to see her boyfriend waving her on. 

“i have to go, but i want details when i see you later!” she stated swiftly before patting ellie on the shoulder and sprinting to jesse. ellie said a quick goodbye before hearing the familiar sound of the creaking gates, indicating you had returned. 

before she knew it herself, her legs were moving her towards the gate as the horses started to stride in. she waited anxiously, scanning faces of all the morning patrols before landing on your beautiful face, but when she glanced over to see your patrol partner, her hand clenched into a fist by her side. 

it was sandra, her horse keeping the pace next to yours as if on purpose. ellie’s face went red, feeling the heat burning her cheeks she thought she would have burn marks from it. she watched as you looked at sandra, laughing. that laugh you had been blessing her ears with the night before. “the fuck…?” ellie said to herself in a low whisper. 

you made eye contact with a disturbed ellie, quickly glancing back to sandra as if to say bye. and as ellie approached you and your horse, she helped you dismount without a word. “hey els,” you said happily, hoping to see her face relax. it didn’t, but ellie handed off the reins to a stable keeper before taking her hand in yours. 

she basically dragged you away from the stables, taking a quick look back to see sandra looking at you two with an unrecognizable expression. “ellie, she was already scheduled–” 

jealousy pouring out of her, ellie responded, “i don’t care about that, what i do care about is her playing with your feelings.” she said in a huff. her hand was still firmly in yours, leading you away. 

“she’s not playing with my fee–” 

“what was that, then?” she turned to you, stopping both of you in your tracks. “did she even apologize to you? does she even know how much she hurt you?” 

“well– uh… not really.” you responded shyly.

“exactly,” she let out a deep breath, she had stopped you in a small alleyway between unoccupied houses, the sound of the town around you seemed to drown out behind ellie’s heavy breathing. 

“i know what this is,” you said with a playful smile. “you’re jealous.” you pointed a finger at her chest and poked her jacket. 

“what?” she asked, half listening. her mind was racing with the thoughts of you and sandra on patrol together, laughing together, being together. 

“you’re jealous,” you said simply, reaching your hand up to her chin gently, redirecting her eyes to you. “its sweet really. but you don’t have to worry about her anymore.” you planted a small kiss on her burning cheek. 

ellie’s eyes closed in comfort at your touch. you pulled away, your intoxicating scent leaving her swiftly before her eyes opened again, peering at yours intensely. your faces just inches from her’s, ellie pulled you into a kiss. wrapping her arms around your waist to bring you even closer.

“okay,” she breathed, finally feeling herself relax with your reassurance. suddenly feeling a little self-conscious of her actions she cleared her throat. “let’s get some breakfast, yeah?” you nodded before wrapping yourself around her arm and continued walking further into town.  i don’t have to worry about her anymore, she repeated to herself. you belong to me.

#ellie williams #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #tlou2 #tlou #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fic #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams imagine

[abbyslev]

JUNE BABY PLS I BEG YOU PLS WRITE SOME YELENA SMUT PLS I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE IM TOO FAR GONE I NEED THIS WOMEN TO SLAM ME AGAINST A WALL AND MAKE OUT WITH ME AND LOVE ME AND PUNCH ME AND MAKE ME HER WIFE AND SPIT IN MY FACE AND NEVER LET ME GO PLS I BEG YOU PLS IM SO DESPERATE PLS

𝑭𝑶𝑪𝑼𝑺- 𝒀𝑬𝑳𝑬𝑵𝑨 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

A/N: the craziest part is that no one gets my love for yelena like lea does. @lejayooo GETS IT. SO GOOD. i wrote this for her bc i love her and ofc i need to feed into our delusions TOGETHER??? THIS WAS INSPIRED BY LANA TOO LIKE THE WAY I WOULD LET YELENA FOLD ME IN HALF AND DESTROY ME??? I HOPE ALL OF YOU ENJOY OK IM GONNA GO FANGIRL W LEA NOW OK GUYS

WARNINGS: pure smut bro

Your name left her mouth once again, an annoyed sigh from your mouth leaving as you looked up. 

       “I need you to focus.” Professor Yelena gave you a stern smile before pointing to the board. “Answer.” She added. Your cheeks turned red, your ears hot. You had been thinking about Professor Yelena's long fingers touching you in such soft ways, mouth meeting yours as your hands tangled themselves in her soft hair. You practically dropped at the thought. 

       “I- uhm…i’m not sure.” You cleared your throat as you could feel the stares of your peers. “Like yesterday? And the day before that?” Yelena shook her head, sucking her teeth. You look down, picking at your fingers. “Stay after class.” She let out a soft chuckle before turning back to her lesson. 

        This must have been the longest lesson in the world. You couldn’t stop thinking about how badly she was going to scold you, how she was going to shame you for your skills. You bite your tongue, the people around you moving as Yelena yelled out what pages to read tonight. You stuff your bag with your belongings before slowly dragging yourself to her desk, a shy smile on your face. 

         Yelena waved off her last student before turning to you. She walked past you, opening the door to her office. She extended an arm out, letting you go in first. You stood there shyly as she removed her coat, rolling up her sleeves.

       My god, her long, pale veiny arms made you practically drool again. You tore your eyes away from her arms, looking at her exposed collarbones, wishing nothing more than to kiss them. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Yelena chuckled, tapping her head. 

       “Erm, nothing. Just a hard time focusing.” You lied. “I think not. You seem to have a perfect score in every single class, so why is mine the issue? You passed Zoë’s class easily enough last year.” Yelena sat down, typing on her computer. “I don’t like this book. I only like books that i’m interested in.” You lied. “You told Zoë you loved anything by this author, which is why I chose it. Is that an issue?” Yelenas brows furrowed. 

        You stayed quiet, eyes wide. Why would she ever pick anything you liked? She didn’t even know you last year. “This is your major, I expect more from you. You did pretty well up until a while ago.” Yelena rested one hand on her chin, her cold eyes trailing down your body. 

        Yeah, that was a couple of months before you started realizing how hot she was, before you started thinking unimaginable things about her.

        “Zoë says you’re perfect, I was really expecting that kind of participation in my class.” Yelena smiled. “I just have a lot going on right now.” You say quickly. “Want to talk about it? It stays between us.” Yelena gave you another warm smile. “I’m ok. Thank you.” What else were you supposed to say? How you want her to fuck you so bad? 

        “Well, come here, i want to show you some alternative assignments, maybe we can get that C to a B.” Yelena waved you over. Oh my god, were you really about to be right next to your hot professor? 

         You sit next to her, body stiff. She smelled like cologne. You inhaled deeply, trying not to be obvious. You were so close to touching her.  Yelena spread her legs, her knee touching yours. Neither of you moved. “You could write me a six hundred word essay on this book. Unless you’d rather just read it with us.” Yelena looked over at you. 

        She noticed your stiff  body, your hands slightly shaking as you avoided eye contact with her. “I can just read.” You blurted out. “What, sweetheart?” Yelenas brows furrowed again. SWEETHEART? Your heart pounded, eyes shooting to the floor. Her hand lifted your chin up, forcing you to look at her. “Answer.” She whispered, leaning in. 

        You squeeze your legs,  lips parting a bit as Yelena leaned in, thumb playing with your lower lip. “I can read.” You whispered back. “Good.” Yelena kissed you, hand softly caressing your jaw. You embarrassingly whimpered, holding her wrist. Yelena brought you into her lap, hands massaging your thighs. 

       She kissed your neck, nose tickling your neck. “Is this what you think about?” Yelena played with your waistband, holding a fistful of your hair, making you look at her. “Tell me what you think about, baby.” Yelena brought your lips down to hers. “I think about your fingers inside of me. I think abou- fuck.” You throw your head back as Yelena squeezed your breasts.  

        Yelena helped you pull off your pants, pushing you on her desk. “I always think about you. How you’re mine. Not Zoë’s dirty little pet, you’re mine.” Yelena shoved her fingers in your mouth. You drooled all over them, face pouting as your legs shook. Yelena tapped your clit softly before starting to do slow circles. 

       Your nails gripped the edge of the desk, eyebrows furrowing as Yelena slowly sank a finger in you. You close your legs, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. Yelena's free hand tugged on your shirt. You threw it off, hands locking around Yelena’s neck. Yelena kissed you, fingers pumping in and out of you and her thumb continued to circle your clit. 

      “You get all embarrassed when I call on you, do you like that? Do you like that I think about punishing you when you’re wrong?” Yelena mumbled in your ear, fingers quickening with every word. “Yes, fuck, yes!” You scream, your head laid in between her shoulder and neck, teeth sinking into Yelena’s shoulder, quiet pleads leaving your mouth. 

     You rock your hips upwards, hoping for more. Yelena pressed your body down with her cold hand, shaking her head. “Please,” You look at her. Yelena ran the same hand down your face, softly caressing your bottom lip. She kissed you softly, capturing your bottom lip between her teeth. 

       You grasped Yelena's upper arm, feeling the soft curve of her muscles. She could feel you about to cum. “Beg for it.” She slowed her pace, pressing her forehead against yours. “P-please, professor.” You try to keep your shaking legs open. “Please what?” Yelena kissed the corner of your mouth, tongue tracing your lips. “Please let me-shit!” Your fingers dig into her back. Your nails scratch her soft skin, decorating her pale skin with your red love marks.

        “I wanna hear you, pretty.” Yelena watched as you moaned out loud, lips quivering as you called out her name. “How bad do you want it?” Yelena hummed. “S-so bad! Bad!” You shut your eyes. Yelena slapped your face, hand grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you forward.

        “Look at me when I'm talking to you.” Yelena mumbled. That sets you off. Your legs gave in, chest collapsing as loud, breathy moans left your lips and hands tangling themselves in her hair, forehead against Yelena’s, your cum all over her desk. 

       She helped you come down, pushing your hair out of your face. “You’re a mess.” She chuckled as she handed you your bottoms. “Thanks to you.” You sit there for a moment. “Do you really think of me that way?” Yelena traced soft circles on your inner thigh. You blushed, pushing her hand off. 

      “Oh, don’t be embarrassed now.” She caressed your cheek, leaning down to your level. She pressed a soft kiss on your lips. You pull away, standing up. “What?” Yelena smiled. You kiss her one more time before opening her door. “I’ll see you tomorrow after class.” You smile, shutting the door behind you. 

#attack on titan #yelena snk #yelena x reader #yelena x you #yelena attack on titan #snk yelena #yelena smut #yelena headcanons #yelena #yelena aot #aot x reader #aot smut

[chiiyuuvv]

XIKERS WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT YECHAN IS DATING

• PAIRING — xikers x couple female reader (uses her a few times) and yechan

• GENRE — silly, unserious, mentions of tongue, just how the members would react

• WORD COUNT — 641

•AUTHOR'S NOTE — (request on wattpad) debating on if i should make a minjae version..

MASTERLIST!

MINJAE ☆

It was 3 in the morning when yechan knocked (banged) on the door

"Hyung, im no longer a single pringle." He'd say quickly but minjae was still half asleep

So yechan would have to repeat himself

I kid you not, minjae would sit up straight, looking dead into yechans eyes.. and bursted out laughing

"You-youre kidding! How could you get a dat- oh my god.." ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Yechan had brought you over to the dorm as junmin was in the kitchen

Since hes the "mom" of the group, we all know how he would act

Knocking on the door to give out some homemade (store bought) cookies

All nice and sweet until yechan leaves the room and you're all alone with junmin

*pulls out a book of yechan as a baby and all his embarrassing moments, showing you page for page* ♡

SUMIN ☆

sumin would give out the weirdest advice

"When you hug her make sure your hands are wet." "Why?" "So you'd have the excuse to hold her hand"

He says its from personal knowledge

When hes never had a date before

And long story short, his advice didnt work </3 ♡

JINSIK ☆

jinsik was shocked at first, but nevertheless is he happy for his little bro

Loves listening yechan rant about you with the most doe eyes, its so cute watching yechan fall in love

And if youre ever out together, and show the tiniest bit of pda, the amount of "aw's" jinsik would let out

A little teasing, whenever you're alone he'd tell you how much yechan likes you

And his heart would melt when you would let out the softest of giggles, your cheeks red

HYUNWOO ☆

"You're dating who now??" His over protective side comes out a little bit

Asks a lot of questions and if you're out on a date he wants to come with

Kinda like the "dad." If you do anything wrong you WILL see him in your room at midnight

But after learning that you're a sweetheart

He threatens yechan instead ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

"hyung im dating-" "i know." "What?! How did you know what i was going to sa-" "you wouldnt shut up about her."

They were roomates

Unlike jinsik, he wasnt intrigued with yechans yapping. More so grossed out

Had to tell him plenty of times that you liked yechan back. And he should just man up and tell you his feelings

But behind his sarcastic aurora, he was pretty proud ♡

SEEUN ☆

"YOU'RE DATING WHO NOW?!" his jealousy side comes out.. a lot a bit.

It felt like his whole world had stopped when he watched the two of you hold hands

He was supposed to hold his baby's, yechan's hands. With a big kiss on the cheek

"Stay away from him." He'd randomly grab yechan and hug him, and pouts at him when yechan wants to let go

"Dont worry, he's just like that." -yechan ♡

YUJUN ☆

That teasing smile when yechan tell him. Yechan was actually trying to avoid him

"Oh my god, do you use tongue?" "YUJUNN!!"

hes defo the type of guy that would wiggle his eyebrows whenever you two are together

"OMG YOU GUYS LOOK SO CUTEE!!" he'd shout from across the room, and everyone's eyes would shift to you, the two of you getting embarrassed

He would also defo take pictures of the two of you doing the usual pda, snickering like crazy ♡

HUNTER ☆

hunter isn't offended that yechans dating, his offended that he wasnt the first to know

"Why didnt you tell me?" He'd hit yechans shoulder

Hes really sweet towards you, that you see him as a brother

And so you always talk to him when you want to get something for yechan, but you dont know what

And he makes a deal. If he tells you what yechan likes, you have to give him your friends numbers ♡

#xikers #xikers fluff #xikers drabbles #xikers imagines #xikers fanfic #kpop #xikers fanfiction #xikers au #xikersau #minjae xikers #xikers minjae #xikers junmin #junmin xikers #xikers sumin #sumin xikers #xikers jinsik #jinsik xikers #xikers hyunwoo #hyunwoo xikers #junghoon xikers #xikers junghoon #xikers seeun #seeun xikers #xikers yujun #yujun xikers #xikers hunter #hunter xikers #yechan xikers #xikers yechan #spotify

[aleeyenn]

SHAKING YOU hi more Bedtime Story(Pillowbook) headcanons please you can't just go in tags and say the BEST Pillow headcanons EVER then go "that's enough headcanon rambling" WRONG!!! LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. ITS NEVER ENOUGH HEADCANON RAMBLING

OMG THANK YOU FOR YOUR CURIOSITY!!! i don’t have many headcanons off the top of my head since they usually come up during convos about them with my friends But! i am currently writing a pillowbook fanfic and it has mentions of some sweet headcanons/scenarios in there!!! here is your teaser:

- when pillow and book clean up after a g&d or yoyle chess session, pillow brushes her hand against books and book gets a bit flustered and apologizes each time, but pillow reassures her saying that it’s okay and that she did it on purpose

- pillow asks book to read her her favorite stories so she can know more about her interests and what she likes. as she does this, pillow kinda like cuddles up to her and book messes up her words because of the closeness (she is soooo touch starved) and pillow thinks it’s amusing but she doesn’t say anything

THATS KINDA ALL I CAN GIVE YOU FROM MY FIC … it’s at 7.4k words right now (it’s my first actual written piece OMG!) and i find that i’m a slow writer and i can only write when i get bursts of motivation so it’s taking a while BUT THE TENSION IS BUILDING! it’s definitely a romcom and i’ll announce when it’s out! (i’ll probs publish it on ao3 btw)

aside from stuff from the fanfiction i’m writing i think i can pull a few extras out of my sleeve

- pillow would look into books history to learn about her more and she would find that she received a little gold star her cover in bfdia 10. she would put a gold star on book when she thinks she’s doing good at something as encouragement for her to keep it up and book would be motivated by this

- book knows oragami. after she finds out that pillow is doing things for good luck she shows pillow how to make paper cranes and she tells her if she makes 1000 paper cranes it’ll give her good luck… and so she does! in a single day somehow… and gives them to book to wish Her good luck

- pillow generally picks up on every little detail about books mannerisms … but that’s a given when you’re talking about pillow LOL

- naily and price tag are like. the number one pillowbook fans HEELPPP LIKE THEY SET THEM UP AND STUFF and read into them together… they’re their instigators brah. they’re their wingmen. this headcanon came from the pillowbook fic “who cares?” on quotev PLEAASEEE IF YOU ARE A PILLOWBOOK FAN READ IT ITS THE BEST FANFICTION IVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE I AM NOT KIDDING i would go on more but i’ll go on forever… i love it so much Please read it(and author of it, if you are reading this HIIIII YOURE THE BEST)

IM SURE THERE ARE A LOT MORE BUT ITS REALLY LATE AND I HAVE TO GO TO BED SO I CANT THINK HARD ANYMORE… THANK YOU FOR READING AND YOUR INTEREST IN MY HEADCANONS! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPYYY

#joyjibberjabber

[haecien]

literature obssessed reader × author minghao

Come see the screening.... 🎥📷

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA??? Hello oh my god

Reader would definitely be a big fan of Minghao's works, they've collected almost every series that Minghao has published. Including special limited edition books other collectors would KILL for.

I have a feeling minghao would hide his face, sure he'd attend a few interviews but the interviewer would only be able to hear his voice, this was intentional ofcourse. Minghao wanted to go out in peace, he never wants interviewers and paparazzi to swarm him whenever he stepped out of his house. It's annoying to him. He only revealed his face to trusted individuals like his publisher. Other than that almost no one has seen his face, But there are times where he has almost gotten caught due to his distinctive voice, but he just argued that he has a similar voice and swear he isn't him.

Reader and Minghao would definitely run into each other by accident, of course reader doesn't know shit and thinks is just some random person they bumped into well... " What's the rush? " Minghao asks.

" Oh! Haha there is this book sale and they're featuring one of my favorite authors LIMITED edition book! It's the last one I need and I would do anything to complete my collection... Plus I really adore the author! He's such a good writer, his poetry books are also so good. "

Minghao's raised an eyebrow, he seems intrigued. " So, What's this authors name? " he leaned down and grabbed your bag which you've dropped. " OH! His name is Xu Minghao! But, now checking the time I don't think I can make it in time... My best bets is that the book has already been grabbed.... Awh man "

Minghao was a bit shocked to hear his name mentioned, he feels a bit bad so he proposed an offer " Oh Xu Minghao? I have some extras of his limited edition collection, Which one are you missing I could lend it to you. "

You were shocked since literally people would pay THOUSANDS for this, and hes giving this for free? Jesus christ is he your lord and savior or something. You tried to refuse but minghao didn't budge, eventually you gave up. " Im the reason why you're late, this is my apology. " You were touched how he was this considerate for a stranger you just so happend to bump into. " You never told me your name by the way? Hehe but my names y/n. " Minghao stood there thinking if he should tell you... " Oh uh, my name? Its Seo myungho. "

" Seo myungho? I see, nice to meet you Myungho! " you would not suspect a thing.

You both spent a lot of time after that, half of your conversations were about Minghao... on the inside minghao is giggling whenever you mentioned him, like. His cheeks got a bit red but you didnt notice it. You were too busy rambling about minghao, but if your conversations weren't about minghao you'd genuinely enjoy talking with "myungho " it was always the highlight of your day

I mean you did find out eventually! Haha in the most embarrassing way ever tho... you and "myungho" were talking and suddenly the topic of minghao was mentioned again and he said " Oh yeah I... " I? Haha ur fucked now minghao. Your eyes widened when he said this, you just connected the dots... Bye this is so embarrassing all this time you've been ranting about minghao to minghao

Minghao eventually came clean and he did confess it but, he made it very sure that you wouldn't tell ANYONE about it, well maybe also minghao had a tiny bit of feelings for you but thats beside the point... he trusted you enough to keep this a secret and you swore you'd take this secret to the grave.

Minghaos "little crush" never left tho! He waited awhile before confessing, like maybe 5 months... you were a bit oblivious to his feelings but eventually you started to catch feelings too... the confession was so sweet tho, he took quotes from your favorite book of his. And made a little love letter, you cried on the spot and hugged him so tightly.

(This ws suppose to be a drabble but its so long LMAOAO)

#ciens100event.mov #gloss!🍊 #seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #svt imagines #seventeen imagine #svt fanfic #minghao

[whumpshaped]

hey i’m really sorry if this is dumb but do you ever feel bad about enjoying whump? if so, how do you deal with it? i’m having a hard time with liking it. i love reading it but it occasionally makes me feel like a terrible person

its not dumb! i have some disorders that make it hard for me to feel bad abt stuff just for moral reasons alone, but i do get the terrible feeling sometimes when im afraid others will think im a terrible person lol if that makes any sense- so yeah i get the shame around it. i was lucky enough to be the quirky fun guy anyway so having slightly stranger interests wasnt a big deal for me.

this got very long bc i always have many thoughts on this

let me just start this by saying u totally dont have to feel bad for liking it. at all. everybody tends to like some form of whump, even if they dont call it that. the middle aged christian woman reading her 100th romance novel packed with fucking angst is an avid enjoyer of emotional whump in my book. and the guy who jokes about whump enjoyers being crazy and then turns around and watches marvel movies with blood and beat up heroes in it, well-

humans are just fascinated with pain. physical, emotional, all of it. it's just how we are, i think. we love to explore pain in fantasy, through characters separate from us, while we sit in our room comfortably (controlled danger! like rollercoasters). it can be cathartic. it can be how we find and understand ourselves. it can be comforting to know hey, this character went through something like that, that means the author must have some experience with it. there's at least one other human who gets me.

enjoying/reading/writing whump can be a perfect outlet, like hitting a punching bag repeatedly. it can be how someone digests their own trauma. it can just be a kink thing. it doesn't have to have deep moral things attached to it, sometimes seeing fictional characters hurt just tickles the brain and that's that. it doesn't matter, because it's all fictional, it doesn't hurt anyone. unless your preferred media is like, literal hate speech and propaganda against real life people, (in which case it DOES hurt ppl), there's literally nothing wrong with looking at a character being beaten and going "hey, thats cool".

also i will never not say this but even the fucken bible is straight whump and no one will ever change my mind. i tried to be a good christian and what did i find? whump.

also, there's like... a huge portion of people who read whump for the comfort of it. yes the character goes through shit, yes it's horrible, but guess what, they come out on the other side unquestionably changed but still worthy of recovery. they find peace, they heal, they find friends and family, they're comforted and listened to. that's something a lot of people read whump for. there's a reason it's called hurt/comfort. and there's also a very good post about how so many of us read it because the whumpees' trauma is always acknowledged. maybe not in the story, but we as readers understand that they went through some shit, and thus their trauma is always validated in some way. that can be a comfort as well, in a world where so many people's issues get brushed under the rug and ignored and overlooked and straight up invalidated.

but even if you're not into the comfort aspect (which i wasnt for a long time!!!!! i was strictly here for the hurt!!!!!!) you're not some sort of monster for it. i'd say quite the contrary. i'd say if you regularly engage with media like this, where the character's emotions are laid out so bare, and explored so deeply, you're more in tune with your own emotions too. i couldve punched holes in walls like some people i know (i have anger issues), but instead i grabbed my laptop and wrote about a character being beaten to a pulp. no damage to person or property. done. others read it and enjoyed it, and i even got serotonin from likes and reblogs, which lifted my mood, so that was a whole net positive.

seriously look at the most popular media too. it's whump. always has been. a good friend of mine whos a little weirded out by some of the gore i write is OBSESSED with game of thrones for example. and he recommended it to me because hey i love bloody stuff dont i? and i loved the torture scenes and he loved to hate and be enraged and a little grossed out by them. we enjoyed the series together. neither of us was terrible for it.

all this to say, you're not the odd one out. even if your interests count as more "taboo", like some of mine, unless you go out there and punch someone in the face, youre good in my books. and again, even punching someone in the face can be morally neutral or positive between consenting adults so. HUMANS JUST ENJOY EXPLORING PAIN. THATS MY HOT TAKE FOR TODAY.

thank u for coming to my ted talk

#asks #i hope u find peace in regards to ur interest in whump #because the thing is. if u had a good friend who has been nothing but kind and helpful to everyone around #but then it came out that they enjoy reading gorey horror stories #would u actually say they were then a bad person? #give urself some grace. im sure ur a good person. like. consciously. putting in effort to be good #and thats what matters

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Phullo there, I’d like to ask you a question! I hope I won’t be such a bothersome.

So, I’m planning to write a story about Laughingstock and since I find your storytelling very pleasing I figured it’d be a great idea to ask for your advice about the writing!

My Idea in general for this story is just Howdy taking a day off from working in his bodega. And basically, he’ll be just wearing normal clothes.. shocking truly.

And thennn, Barnaby and Howdy accidentally stumbled into each other’s path. They later then of course had a very long conversation that lasted until evening maybe.

Of course there’ll be some fishy moments like them looking at each other with goggly eyes and other cheesy romantic nonsense- but it’s just mainly them having their usual conversation with a ‘couple’ of jokes here and there. It’s supposed to be a sweet memory for them to remember basically.

So, what I’m really trying to ask you for is- how the heck do you start a story exactly and not make it into just the dialogues? Like, I want my story to be kind of long but I’m afraid it’ll be just them, y’know, talking and I really don’t want it to be boring.. therefore, I really need your help.

I am so sorry if it’s such a bad timing considering the fact that you just had an interview which I am very proud for you for that! Even if it didn’t go as expected at least you did good half of it.

Soo, yeah! I’d very much appreciate your advice and I am sooo sorry that this was soo long!!! And again, a bad timing too.. but hey if you got any time, please consider answering. Thank you..

Also any response yet? On the interview of course.

hmmm... in my experience and Knowledge Accumulated Over The Years via reading And writing... the best place to start is to just drop in. no story introduction, no "it was a dark and stormy night", just Start. it sounds like your story begins with Howdy taking the day off, so maybe kick off with him getting ready / choosing an outfit, or w/ him reflexively almost opening the store before he stops and chides himself for almost forgetting that he's taking the day off

to combat the dialogue, maybe detail him leaving the bodega to go into the neighborhood. what does he see? hear? feel both physically and mentally? is there anyone else out and about? set the scene! ive been struggling with this too lately since i haven't seriously written in a while and i haven't been reading actual books

WHICH! IMPORTANT TANGENTS!! read well-written books, Not fanfic! im not saying dont read fanfic ever or i'd be the world's biggest hypocrite, but also read actual books. it's important to study how published authors write, how stories are structured, dialogue and action. because these books have more often then not gone through a Rigorous screening process. multiple drafts, beta readers, publishers reading it with great scrutiny before agreeing to publish - of course there are exceptions, but a lot of books are the highest quality they can be, and will outshine most fics. because, and i say all of this as good things, fics are unregulated. most dont have beta readers. a lot are from amateur authors new to the scene. there will be spelling mistakes, weird grammar & sentence structure, etc - most fics have Entirely different writing styles from each other. so if you only read fanfic, That is what your brain will learn, and it's gonna be harder for you to write. published books have less variation in styles, and the styles are subtler. there's less spelling mistakes if any, so your spelling will improve. your internal vocabulary will expand. even if you don't consciously study what you read, your brain will pick up on & internalize patterns, how action works, how dialogue works, how to structure a story, all that good stuff. if you want, i can recommend well-written books! i've been an avid reader since... like, ever. i've got recs galore! you can tell me your preferred genre & literary interest and i'll probably have something for you! and if you're not big on books, well... get out of your comfort zone lmao, books are fucking awesome and i guarantee there are plenty out there that you would love.

and when you're writing dialogue, intersperse it with little actions or the main povs' internal dialogue. if there's a natural lull in the conversation, explore that lull! what do the characters do in this moment? what's going on around them? sprinkle bits of setting in so that your reader knows where they are and what's going on.

plus, exploring the non-dialogue sections of your story can, and often will, spark inspiration in your brain for scenes and actions to fill out the story if you want it to be long (but also! if you just want to write the scene of their conversation, that's the beauty of fanfic - there's no requirements. do whatever you want lmao). when Howdy is going into town, maybe Wally calls him over for a quick pose - does Howdy say yes or no, and how does that decision change the story? maybe Julie invites him to join her in a game, or Eddie stops to talk to Howdy about him being out and about. maybe there are some complaints over the bodega not being open. what's the lead-up to Howdy and Barnaby running into each other? do they literally run into each other? what happens when they do? those are just a few possibilities of many!

remember, when you're writing, you're that story's god. you can do literally fucking anything. you decide what the characters do, where they go, what happens in their world. that mindset should help you bolster the plot instead of just "these two characters have a conversation", yk?

i hope this helps!

#im so serious i am talking from personal experience #the quality of my writing improves after reading an actual book / when im reading one alongside writing #which is why im getting myself back into it #i spent a while not reading books and boyyyyy howdy have i suffered for it! #i miss when i was in elementary school reading at least one full length book a week... #BUT BOOKS HELP. GOOD BOOKS #not the fuckin cookie cutter booktok recs that're just a bunch of tropes slapped together #im talkin about the quality stuff. #im talkin about authors who really see the art in writing & storytelling #rambles from the bog #but also do take everything i say with a grain of salt #i have a lot of room for improvement myself & as with my art im an Entirely Self Taught Writer #so im by no means an expert on the subject! im a medium level writer at best <3 #and im not saying that in a derogatory way! it just means i have a ways to go in becoming a legitimately good writer #& reaching the level that i want. its something to strive for! #also thank you! ive never done an interview before so i really have nothing to compare it to!

[fandxmslxt69]

CLEM!!!

Happy birthday, lovely! I hope you're happy and healthy! So sorry I didn't see your post earlier, I've been having a very hectic year with studying, working and just generalized stuff! BUT BUT I couldn't send you a inbox!

So like a said: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! you are one of the sweetest mutuals ever! And to celebrate that a gotta ask

What is your latest read?

And I want to know your all time favorite Jason fics, please with links and all!

LOVE OF MY LIFE HELLO!!!

OMG PLS DONT APOLOGISE I KNOW HOW HECTIC LIFE CAN GET!! i hope you are taking good care of yourself, resting and relax outside of studies and work!!! remember that none of it matters if you aren't feeling good <33

MY LATEST READ OKAY

um truth be told my love i have been in SUCH a slump lately,,,, its been tough out here.

i only read like 3 books very recently (last month or so)

I did read All The Little Raindrops by Mia Sheridan my QUEEN. its like a mystery thriller with a side of romance!!! Sheridan's books are ALWAYS a hit (she's very popular for her booktok famous Archer's Voice? And Travis !!) I've read like. most of her books at this point. I have never devoted myself to an author so much. She got me into the whole thriller genre and I LOVE her. so much. ITS SO GOOD AAAA. its not for the faint of heart and on more than once i find myself with the need to throw up with how HORRIFYING and messed up some of this stuff is (most of her thriller books are not for the faint of heart. lots of horrific stuff that is all too real and it makes it 10x more disturbing). Anyway i loved it i think i gave it a 4/5 stars it was so so good

2. i ALSO started Ana Huang's If Love series. I literally never shut up about Ana Huang like. EVER and i had been wanting to read this for a while and IM SO GLAD I GOT IT STARTED !!! Its a LOT less popular than hr Twisted and Kings of Sin series; she wrote it well before she got popular/published but its so good. its def not Twisted/Kings of Sin series but it makes it sooo clear how much she's grown in her writing, character development and general story telling!!! I read the first 2 books and UGHGUGHUFGHUFGHG yeah. new comfort series fr fr fr fr.

I also got digging through Lynn Painter's works (Love Wager, Mr Wrong Number, Better Than The Movies, etc) 10/10 her rom coms are sacred to me. this was a while ago though like. months ago lmao but i think abt her books always!!!

OH OH OMG I READ BIRTHDAY GIRL BY PENELOPE DOUGLAS !!!! SOME TIME AGO!!! yeah it changed my brain chemistry. i dont remember if i told you or not. but it changed my life. i think about it always.

edit: omg shut up i forgot i read some banger books months ago that i did not mention. i ate up Liz Tomforde's sports romance series (Windy City series) it was SO FREAKING GOOD. she had hockey romance, she had basketball romance she had BASEBALL ROMANCE. 10/10 amazing vibes

I ate through the latest of Lauren Asher's (Love Redesigned) IT WAS ALSO HELLA GOOD!! Ana Huang's King of Greed was also a vibe. not my fav but it was good. I ALSO delved into hockey romance SOOO DEEP. Fav series is probably Becka Mack's Playing For Keeps. It's the silliest stupidest fluffy no plot head empty series ever. the first book is 90% porn. its just for the giggles. the second is a bit better but the third is def the best in terms of actual plot & character development for example but the vibes are astronomical and i live for them

i ALSO started reading Sarah Adam's small town romance series (very very good). All fluffy fall vibes. CHLOE GONG HAD COME OUT WITH A NEW BOOK IN THE SUMMER AND I GOT TO IT AROUND THE NEW YEAR AND IT WAS SOOO GOOOD. Immortal Longings mm......she destroyed me once again.

OKAY ALL TIME FAV JASON FICS ok i dont have links (is lazy to go find links) but i will tell you two blogs im like religiously stalking:

@in-som-niyah has AMAZING THOUGHTS on Jason 10/10 i love getting all my jason content from her GOD BLESS THE HARDWORKING PEOPLE OF TUMBLR DOT COM

@fcthots also has some kick ass Jason stuff....like....from smutty to fluffy and domestic its....yeah. oooghgubjgubgn yeah yeah.

anyway i've probably forgotten to mention a bunch of books but thats all i can remember that was actually good. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN READING !!!

#clem talks <3 #Clem's Birthday Hang Out #loml <33

[roseamongroses]

its called the parker curse not the morales curse 😒

atsv spoilers under cut

ok...jokes aside. after a certain point when miguel was going in on miles, i don't think he was talking about miles anymore.

and to be clear, what he said and how he said it can't be easily taken back--scorched earth yada yada-- so its impact still stands. but if you've ever had an argument as a child with a traumatized + unhealed adult-- it felt like that.

had me sweating in the theatre because you can feel him projecting HEAVY mid-way through. the way he dealt with miles, even before he started the hunt, def felt like he was punishing his past self / trying to stop his past self rather then understand a new situation +person

the assumptions he was making about miles and how he handles multi-dimensional travel, seem to lean heavy on fear. and that makes sense considering his past, but i do think only viewing justice within the lens of fearing what may happen isn't productive in the long run.

they still don't know how these initial dimensional slip ups happen before the collider exploded and bagel guy showed up. (or do they???lol) nor do they know what decides canon and non-canon (i remember the comic book authority approval at the beginning of the film and i wonder if they get mentioned again or if its just a one off joke)

(getting a lil meta there, do you think we'll get a lego movie esq ending next movie???mfkers wake up and realize they're comic book characters)

-

on the conflict

personally i love a good "hero tries to save them all, and realizes their innate limitations" type storyline, but i don't think that's the conclusion they're going for.

for example i thought Pavitr would def get his shit rocked after his spiel about being spiderman being easy and that he's happy. and he did go through something (and probably will go through something else considering he has a living girlfriend )

BUT he was able to reach out for help instead. he couldn't do it all, but he didn't have to. and i think that plot line is just as compelling as him failing outright and dragging himself out of the trenches as a lonely hero.

the "save one person vs. an entire dimension" conflict is interesting because miles is a believer in "why not both". often times with these trolly problem esq. situations, the person who questions the existence of the dilemma is dismissed.

miles is considered naive because he thinks he can "do it all". but i don't think thats the case. miles considers both because despite the trauma, he's been surrounded by a loving community who sees the best in him.

so he knows (consciously or not) that he can do both because he's not alone. he is the lone spiderman, but that doesn't have to be the case. that's why he was so excited for the spider-club cause he thought he wouldn't have to endure alone, but instead he was met with the fact that the club was meant to reaffirm their loneliness rather then circumvent it.

(also the possibility of this franchise introducing other heros later on is something im begging for btw but ik copyright will nuke that)

if miles is an anomaly, the possibility of his events deviating from the norm does exist. miles had the right to question if it was really the only way or if miguel just didn't want to try otherwise. and to be honest im questioning if miles was really the first anomaly considering we don't have all the details about miguel's backstory

-

on comics

what does it mean to be spiderman? to uphold goodness? to be a compelling hero?

For a lot of the characters explored, their justice is tied to their suffering. they are good heros because they've seen the worst and wil. endure the worst and that's what makes them compelling. but with this "new" generation of heroes, that doesn't hold up when we consider intersectional identities and what the audience desires to see from their hero's.

if the audience is already enduring and suffering in their day-to-day lives what can they get out of a story that only reaffirms the daily injustices of their reality. i don't want heros that look like me if they only uphold the status quo "suffer, work, live, be good". that isn't enough. i love me some angst, but what else makes the story compelling???

i read the superhero genre because i want better. I want to be able to fight back, to question, to explore. to stretch the idea of what goodness and justice looks like for communities that are used to being told to accept the bare minimum and just survive.

#atsv spoilers #atsv #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #miles morales #miguel ohara #Pavitr Prabhakar #hobie brown #peter b parker #gwen stacy #marvel #comics #marvel comics #long post

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/29/2023

my ENTIRE SUMMER has been either worrying about moving or actually moving. ALL OF IT. however an incredibly hot butch milf on the gay community bulletin board/dating app lex has finally answered my piteous call for gun safety classes with an invitation to her private range. unfortunately she is a landlord who owns a VERY large apartment complex. houston is a land of contrasts

listening

more joywave! one of my favorite bands bc they are best listened to in full album format, and i did a fuck of a lot of driving this weekend. little lies you’re told has an opening like a big machine warming up while you are in a control room way high up on a gantry somewhere. spotify

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reading (2x bonus round)

All The Trimmings by Tesni Morgan (published 2001 in the UK) is a gift from @believerindaydreams. it is “erotic fiction written by women for women” (debatable) and “the publishers recommend that this book should be sold only to adults”. also, “Black Lace novels contain sexual fantasies. In real life, make sure you practise safe sex.” idk i’ve ever seen that kind of notation on an american novel before? fascinating precursor to the saccharine little “stay safe kids” ao3 authors notes

i do find the premise genuinely fun and compelling— two divorced milfs opening a hotel/bordello with historically themed rooms. i have had to look up a lot of british purple prose and i refuse to believe anyone says “rogering” in real life.

im being edged with glimmerings of bisexuality. every time one of the milfs gets turned on and goes out roaming to distract herself from being turned on, i go “oh?” like at a pokemon go egg, but so far all the dalliances and encounters have been dudes.

had a very strange experience with cormac mccarthy's blood meridian. i don’t normally interrogate whether or not i am the intended audience for a work except when it’s literally made for children, bc i as a modern bisexual woman am the intended audience for vanishingly few works. for example, many entire genres (westerns) are very challenging to enjoy.

a western has never made me go "wait so why DO i like westerns at all" so hard. like, what AM i doing here in this genre that is often deeply fucking uncomfortable to consume as a woman, and where the most foundational american and european works of the genre often uncritically embrace the worst parts of the american mythos in the most violent way possible? i do believe critics when they say mccarthy is not embracing violence for the sake of, and in fact has something to say with his revisionist western, but my god is it hard to wade through. anyway, dad media will not fuck me and i still have only a tenuous grasp on why i try so hard to glean enjoyment from it.

i know what mccarthy is trying to do and the overall tone of “weird old maybe-uncle” spinning a yarn to a big group of you and your cousins around a fire somewhere is pretty effective. unfortunately I have less tolerance for mccarthy’s style now than when I read The Road thirteen years ago in high school. i was immediately super invested in The Road’s single dad and how he and his kid were surviving, which does not need a lot of interiority.

blood meridian also has very little interiority. the first five chapters are a teen falling in and out of various fights. i was not, and am still not invested. if im reading A Man Goes On A Journey western (as opposed to A Stranger Comes to Town western) i would like to know two or three things about the man, especially if it seems to be angling at a bildungsroman. i don't typically care for third-person objective narration when it is this closely focused on one guy, and i really don't care for loving descriptions of maggots. comforting to know a lot of critics were also squicked out by this book. so it goes.

-

watching

finished watching s1 of spy x family! a Legally Not West German spy in Legally Not East Berlin has to go into deep cover and pose as a family man in order to gain access to Legally Not Erich Honecker, because the only social events Legally Not Erich Honecker goes to are the ones at his son's elite prep school.

this man FLINGS himself into being the absolute best husband and father possible. for the mission, of course.

i found the first few episodes the best, which is generally the opposite of my normal anime experience. i think it does a really good job of balancing high-octane spy hijinks and chases and explosions with very domestic concerns (he PROPOSES. with a THE RING OFF A HAND GRENADE. AFTER THROWING IT), and once you're really hooked on these characters it turns into a bit of a curtainfic. curtainanime? i had fun with all of it and anxiously await season two, but the actual applied spycraft does drop off significantly as the series goes on.

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playing

we're going to continue with out of context genshin screencaps for the duration. the watery land of fontaine has a neat smorgsabord of visual style-- freshwater but also saltwater but also the aquarium section at petsmart.

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making

unpacking mostly. acquired this coffee table and its mother. needs a very deep cleaning and some touchups but is intact. the individual tables are a bit large for like individual party drinks tables but all six together are QUITE large. four tigether would be a comfortable coffee table size for many apartments imo but! bc everything truly is bigger in Texas including my apartment it works for right now. for the first time in my life i am considering a sectional sofa bc the living/dining room is that dang big.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

[burningvelvet]

to cope with my post-binge blues from watching black sails, i just finished the treasure island audiobook. it's my first time with any treasure island media - now i have to watch the muppets movie. any way here are my thoughts:

- i knew the character of trelawney had to be based on the romantic era edward john trelawny of byron/shelley fame and I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sources: WONG, AMY R. “The Poetics of Talk in Robert Louis Stevenson’s ‘Treasure Island.’" A Sandison Robert Louis Stevenson and the Appearance of Modernism

- i know that black sails isn't fully intended to be a perfect prequel or meant to be taken as filling in all of the gaps to treasure island but i'm still going to compare & contrast the two lol

- billy spending his whole life obsessed with flint and having alcohol withdrawal induced hallucinations about him. OMG. and i'm shocked that they just casually dropped that he visited flint in georgia to get the map like did flint request to see him before he died, was it just about the map, or did he want closure about the whole thing, did billy seek flint out, why didn't they kill each other, how the fuck did that whole thing go? i need more information dammit

- saw another post on here talking about how in black sails flint has that speech about the drunk guy named flint asking his grandpa for rum before disappearing into the sea and then in treasure island we find out flints last words were asking a "darby mcgraw" for rum before he died SO IN THE BLACK SAILS UNIVERSE DARBY IS HIS GRANDPA and so im wondering DID FLINT 1.0 EVER EXIST AT ALL OR WAS IT SIMPLY FORESHADOWING ALL ALONG but at the same time it doesnt matter because the black sails creators said the ending is intentionally canonically up to interpretation and black sails canon and treasure island canon dont match up any way but still it gives us so much to think about bc we never canonically find out who the fuck darby is

- the doctor is the funniest character ever and him giving zero shits about billy or silver is hilarious LMAO

- rly enjoy the descriptions of the contents of billy's pockets and chest. i love old shit and that whole nautical aesthetic ugh. im currently wondering about the significance of the five sea shells billy had (jim wonders abt them too) if they were souvenirs from the island or what... but we never find out!!

- and what the fuck was up with those black spots I NEED ANSWERS! It worked on Billy but not Silver?

- having grown up on PotC i'm very enthused at the references (the song, the rum, "dead mens chest," etc)

- wish we saw more of jims mom, she was lowkey a badass for a moment there telling everyone off and willing to face the wrath of the pirates with her son lol

- love how the men just take jim on for his valour and then decide to make him a cabinboy and the mom just gets a replacement son to help her around the house lmaoooo i wonder if that was a common thing for single women to do though?

- long john silver has a sort of jekyll/hyde personality (btw the author stevenson also wrote jekyll/hyde for those of you who dont know!) - also why the fuck did they leave him to his own devices toward the end and not have a gun on him 24/7 like? i was also shocked that he didnt run off with all the gold only some of it. most chaotic character ever

- my biggest questions are why did black sails take out the alcoholism and the sea shanties? but importantly the alcholism - if they were going for gritty, as they were? flint and billy's alcoholism is integral to their characters (defines their characters actually) in the book as contrasted by silvers moderation & thats rly interesting. and the lack of singing is just boring - pirates rly did have sea shanties - however i can understand for time constraints per episode and whatnot them taking out the singing for practicality - but the alcoholism again is integral to those characters as well as being historically accurate and realistic & would have added a lot imo

EDIT: immediately after posting this i realized that since there are a few years between the treasure burial and flint's supposed death in georgia, he could have become a drunk in that time if we're creating a black sails to treasure island timeline, and billy wouldn't have become a drunk til later on since black sails is set roughly 20 yrs before treasure island.

HOWEVER - by the talks of it in treasure island, and all the pirates referring to flint as a drunk etc., it would still seem that flint was always that way when they knew him, prone to drinking... but at the same time i guess you could say all the characters are jollier than in black sails as indicated by their singing and their more stereotypical piratey ways.

however i still think the alcoholism & addiction theme would have added an extra layer to everything especially after flints sad drunk scene with eleanor. also in toby stephens deep fathoms interview he said flint is essentially like an addict when it comes to his delusion & desires. anyway i digress

transcript here, audio is on youtube: https://www.justsaypodcast.com/blog/2018/12/18/transcript-interview-with-toby-stephens-of-black-sails

#queue #black sails #treasure island #currently reading #book review #book thoughts #age of sail #pirates #piracy #book opinions #robert louis stevenson #starz #billy bones #long john silver #captain flint #analysis #thoughts #my writing #my thoughts #my analysis

[bulbabutt]

I love you’re little 2003 comic series and Mikey being to queer! Would you ever draw Mikey and Leo (since you did one with Mikey and don and Mikey and raph?)

Or would you do all 4 of the turtles and them taking about Star Trek while being queer?

Also author, I would like to hear you infodumps/rant about Star Trek :)

thank you! and yeah i have more plans for it dont worry haha

in terms of me info dumping or ranting, well im gonna leave my turtles to do any proper star trek takes lmao (donnie shall be my mouth piece, as i am the voyager stan)

but what i can say is star trek to me is not like a thing i ever actively watched as a kid, but something both my parents had an interest in. so i recognized ferengi and klingons before i knew what they were based on my dads graphic tees, i knew what the ships looked like cuz we had model ships. i have memories of watching star trek characters without having any idea what was going on, specifically janeway lol

and ive not finished any show, though i feel like ive seen all events in most shows? because the way star trek was intended to be watched was episodically on television, and thats how i consumed most of it.

and the other thing ill say is me and the editor (my sibling) came up with the idea based on like a silly thing i said which was simply "hey if the turtles love star trek canonically and 03 is the right age for the next gen - ds9 age, i bet they each have a different favorite, what would they be?"

we didnt have to think two seconds about mikey, mikey would love TOS its a classic it fits the vibes of mikeys classic comic book collection.

leo would love next gen because he would see picard as the best captain and want to emulate that. also think its interesting based on the fact 12 leo trys to emulate the picard parody (who is...a bad leader to emulate lmao, if 12 leo had proper star trek so many leadership issues would have been solved /j)

the real discussion came in the form of between raph and donnie whos voy and whos ds9. as im the raph and theyre the donnie, i wanted to offer up the donnie ds9 cuz thats their favorite show and voy is mine, but they said that raph would like ds9. specifically the politics and more intense war plot lines would speak to him. and that (maybe spoiler for something id wanna draw but oh well) during leos depression arc leo would like to sit and watch that with him because it would speak to him too at that time.

and as for donnie we didnt have the best reasoning for him loving voyager most, what else could we say but donnie has rizz (03 donnie is the only one who has a maybe romance in a one off episode, and i just.... yeah) but then i kind of thought about it more, and something about everyones favorite donnie episode same as it never was (and other donnie central plots) something about the crew of voyager trying like hell to get home even if they might be dead before they make it? i think it speaks to him.

but yeah! i have a lot of thoughts about it, kind of cuz of the age 03 is set in and the way that specific family unit is, that star trek speaks to them for a multitude of reasons! so im kind of making this little series thing about representation without knowing thats what youre looking for ? if that makes sense.

#turtle trek

[the-monkey-ruler]

Going back to that anon that ask about the pain swk went through bc of the fillet

—yea theres r no time ever that this fainting ever happened in the novel nor do the bleeding. Yes it does happen in various other adaptations when the fillet does that but not in the novel.(not in the Anthony c yu verse at least. Idk about the tge other but im less likely to recommend them bc they either miss a fuck ton of jttw thing OR Very icky authors who is sinophobic af)

I think ppl who already tends to have a more negative idea of tang sanzang(bc of OSP iteration n more)tends to make his character far worse than it actually is.

Like w the fillet.(no hate to various adaptations who do the usage of the fillet that make swk faints. Love me that honestly but my gripes is w those who make it that it applies to alll swks and even in the og novel.) even going so far as to make tang sanzang as the abuser to swk. <that could not be more farther than the truth. It is in fact a very skewed power dynamics that make both characters be in the same but different positions of powers depending on the situations>

Im pretty sure he ended up doing it less as much as ppl assume he did pre-LEMH ARC. (Bro did not use the spell day to day basis pls ppl stop using it in argument bc its not even supported in the og txt itself. He called his disciple as good guys yet are ugly af—hes a asshole but not that much of a asshole. Hes so so naive but he trying his best even if he get swung w traumatizing shit every arc back to back. He like a perfect example of how imperfect traumatized person would act.

My gods these pilgrims need sm therapy

He didn't use it for years before the Six Ears Arc and didn't use it years after either.

It always surprises me when people say he used it too much considering that he only used it in frequency in a single day and then did not touch it for literally YEARS cause he really doesn't use it that often in the book.

The only real times he does overdue it is in the White Bone Demon Arc where he uses it multiple times and in the Six Ears Arc as well. Otherwise, there was that one-off with like Sanzang being misplaced with a fake Sanzang and they had to find out who was the real one, I think with the Black Wind Demon on their first adventure solo, and maybe the Lion-Lynx Arc with the dead king. Otherwise, that's about... 30 other arcs. (that is about 5 arcs out of 30~ other demon arcs)

So over the course of 14 years, I really don't think that should be considered 'every day whenever he could' ....cause he really doesn't. Wukong pulls a lot of tricks and schemes that do give him a mischievous air but the point is that the pilgrims had distrust for one another at the start that is question and put them to the test. And it's only when they face that collective battle and do they come out with a deeper understanding, not only of each other but themselves that they gain their merit.

Sanzang says they are ugly yeah (rude) but he always defends that they are good people to humans that are terrified of their looks, always trying to help even if he can't offer much but a helping word and an ear to listen. He always trusts they will save him and even not he has prayed over them because he thought they died and wanted blessings in their next life for being such good people in this one. This is his journey too and I think it's unfair for people to ignore how his character also comes to get closer to the gang. Especially after he found his long-lost family only to imminently lose them again. I mean even at the start he was made fun of for being an orphan and found his parents, but one commits suicide just weeks after meeting him and the other is the same age as him since he came back from the dead unchanged and he can't even rely on as a parent.

He was kinda put through it with that family drama.

It was just one thing after another at the start for him and I think he never had a chance to have a close group of friends to rely on.

And I hate when this idea that Sanzang is a bad person or that is an abuser when there are so many ways that they are similar and both trying to overcome their challenges on this journey while learning how to rely on other people. They mean too much to each other and while it is hard for them to see eye to eye they have that bond of loyalty that was hard won and grew with time. Sanzang is just a mortal man that can be killed with a single blow in charge of three demons and a dragon on their parol. While each one of his disciple (one that more likely than not ate his past lives) have unthinkable magic and power that no mortal can dream of fighting against.

And he is supposed to lead them to enlightenment?

It is so funny it could be sad.

And they still did it.

It was literally them against the world.

And I hate how people are comparing the fillet to a shock collar as well considering its lore with Buddhism. Like it has so much more meaning both culturally and literally but people always want to overlook its real meaning as 'it's a torture device' like... no... it's really not.

No, I agree that pain is not a good answer nor that I condone that behavior but people got to remember that this was written 500~ years ago when training the body was having a similar mindset to training the mind. That doesn't make it right but it was also to show that Sanzang was never meant to be an abusive teacher and that yes while he is wrong on multiple accounts that weren't meant for him to be seen as a bad person, jut a misguided one.

The fillet does have more history to it as well even seen in other Buddhas as a symbol of self-discipline. It was to be a sign of restraint when it comes to bettering oneself and Wukong need to accept that the world doesn't and shouldn't revolve around him. I understand it’s not as common to see in America and but it's far more than just a symbol of pain, it holds a lot more meaning when it comes to personal growth and being able to recognize flaws within yourself to better them.

That's why in the end only Wukong can be the one to take off the fillet. There is no Fillet-Loosening Spell. There never was one. The Fillet is a part of Wukong and only when he has that full control over himself, that he masted his impulsiveness and attained true enlightenment and immorality did the fillet disappear because it wasn't needed anymore. Wukong at first has to overcome his own ego and arrogance to accept that he has a problem in order to overcome that.

I thank that’s why GuanYin also gave Wukong a fillet because she knew Wukong could overcome his anger and take it off she believed in him that much.

It reminds me of that Wizard of Oz with the red shoes scene where the good witch was like "You could have gone home the entire time" and the same way Wukong could have taken the band off at any time if he learned to control himself and his impulsive. The band wasn't there to teach him to learn through pain, but rather that he can go on the journey and go through that personal growth of facing his inner demons and being able to mature as a person.

At least that's how I always saw it.

#jttw #journey to the west #xiyouji #anon #anon ask #anonymous #tang sanzang #sun wukong #ask

[thesungod]

their theme is so inconsistent like at the beginning it feels clear, being who you are and accepting each other’s darkness, but the way its done is 😬 and then it switches up to being literally budget toa saying “well everything can change yk??? don’t stay in the darkness” but in a horrible fashion and they’re acting like this is what they’ve been trying to tell me in the past 400 pages when it ISNT dont LIE to ME

i don’t think EITHER of them was reading the book as they write they were just mashing words together bc im watching a book promo for it rn and rick’s saying that will likes nico bc he likes nicos ““darkness”” and how intrigues him and mark’s saying neither of nico or will wants to change that core part of the other. which explains away him in BOO trying to tell nico that nobody disliked him—being that will was projecting his own feelings about nico onto others—and also relates will to apollo even more with their need to reach out to outcasts and love them. but then they didn’t write that they literally wrote that will doesn’t like it and he wants to fix it. thats my STEP SON and they did that to him.

rick did not want to write this book at all, and mark probably projected their nico stanisms onto the other characters without justifying the stanisms. you can really tell when rick has a passion for writing something and when he could not care less. the subtle toa promo in one of the gorgyra scenes and apollo’s updated glossary—he wants you to read toa so bad he could not gaf about this book. and yet apollo is never mentioned positively like give him back to me.

speaking of mark i think this is just a consistent issue they have when writing. i read reviews of one of their books (anger is a gift) and some were very negative about the way the narrative made the protagonist the most righteous person ever and completely revolved around them. ifl that issue bleeds into this book as well.

i saw people (including the writers) say this book is darker than a lot of rick’s other books and i really need them to shut the fuck up; THO literally had kids tied up in crucifixes to be burned at the stake 😭

ok sorry for the ramble i see the letters tsats together and i go on a rampage

you absolutely ate this up!!

also laughing at you calling it “budget toa” because that’s exactly what i said to a friend about this book once. i felt almost offended over the authors trying to fit the “everyone can change!!” narrative last minute and make Nico the symbol of re-invention after five whole books of ToA. i was very “how dare you stand where he stood” about it which is childish but alas.

i’ve also mentioned several times how will and nico’s conflict in the book was not intriguing to read about because it was inconsistent. not to mention that according to the timeline they’ve been together for a year!!! an entire year!!! and the book still has Will acting #shocked that Nico, idk, likes darkness.

the Mary-Suing of Nico literally the worst thing to ever happen to me. i’m usually all for my faves winning, but that’s after they’ve been through the mortifying ordeal of losing, yk. and i get that Nico has been through a lot but the book was basically a 400-pages-long ass kissing and i couldn’t do it.

i couldn’t even feel particularly moved or vindicated by Bob pledging loyalty to him in the end because it wasn’t cathartic at all. i was like we get it dude lol

same with his “friendship” with Piper tbh. not everyone needs to like Nico😭 i would have totally loved it if the book had shown a friendship progress organically through their grief for Jason or common interests (even if just briefly narrated through a recollection!! i’m not saying we needed chapters of flashbacks or Piper as a third main), but Nico does not mention her once ever. they didn’t even like each other in HoO!! then at the end of the book he calls her and he is all like “of course she wouldn’t be angry at me for not calling after Jason died <3 she understands that grief is complicated <3”

my king Piper isn’t angry at you for not calling because she dgaf about you. why would she. who are you to her

another thing I’ll never get over re: Nico and Will’s relationship is how, per the book, Nico encouraged Will to come out and was the first one of the two to do so, when every. single. thing written about them in the Hidden Oracle suggests the opposite.

why the fuck is Nico so reticent and embarrassed about admitting to be Will’s boyfriend in the first book of ToA if it’s Nico who came out first? IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP might I add?

because i get that coming out to someone doesn’t necessarily mean being comfortable coming out to everyone, but Nico announced his crush IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CAMP. and asked Will out. and Will wasn’t out at the time. so whyyyy is their dynamic on THO literally the opposite of this? with Will pushing Nico to be more open about their relationship while Nico plays coy? because Apollo is Will’s father? idk, maybe i guess😭

but it’s pretty obvious the change in the dynamic was established later on and that the impression we were supposed to have while reading THO is that Will was the one more comfortable and in tune with his sexuality. like, come on.

#ask #solangelo book