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wormstacheangel · 3 years

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When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty, he expected a happy reunion. He envisioned a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long-awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken, but that would have been too easy.

Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end.

So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself—staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He whispered something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words, but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.

Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own, but he quickly realized that Cas wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was distant, seeing something Dean can’t even imagine. He then noticed the white film over his eyes dimmed the once bright blue.

His fingertips gently traced over the skin he had only dreamt of touching for months before he took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. With that slight pause, Dean used whatever desperate strength he had and dragged Cas back to the portal.

Back home.

As they got closer, the light of the portal seemed to startle Cas, and he started to shove Dean away. Dean had to put Cas down so he could take his green jacket off and place it over Cas’s head to calm him before he slowly continued to walk through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them.

When they walked through, Dean quickly shushed them as he fell to his knees with Cas still in his arms, hidden under the jacket, and covering his ears at the sudden loud voices surrounding them.

Dean looked around at his family, all sharing the same worried glances knowing they were on the same page. Cas’s welcome home party would be pushed back until further notice.

Cas didn’t cry. His expression didn’t change much at all. All Cas did was sit or lay on Dean’s bed with the lights off. All but the desk light. It was an old lightbulb, so the light wasn’t a bright white like the rest of the place. Instead, it illuminated a soft golden glow against the wall.

Cas squinted at it at first, blinking so inhumanly at it, until all Cas did was stare at it. Whenever Dean made any move to turn it off or even just get near the lamp, Cas made a little whine at the back of his throat.

Little noises were the most Dean can get out of Cas. At least it brought him a little relief. It meant Cas could see him at that moment.

Cas still did that rapid talking or singing whenever it was a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes.

It was only the end of the second week when Dean broke down.

[continue under the cut or on AO3]

He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together, especially in front of Cas, but one night he just lost it. He can blame the lack of booze in his system, or as he wants, he can blame Sam, who came up to him about a stupid case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave the bunker while Cas was like-well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone.

Eileen had to step in and tell him to cool off.

Dean stormed off without a glance back and went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Cas. He laid on his stomach as he wrapped one arm over the top of Cas’s waist, scooting close enough so that he could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. He then opened his mouth to wish him goodnight just like every night, but something in Dean just broke.

He felt the pressure rise up his throat as he tried to hide his face into the familiar body beside him, but the sob still came.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Fuck, Cas, please.” Dean took a shaky breath, sniffling as he reached to hold Cas’s hand closer to him. “We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean brought Cas’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles before letting the hand rest by his head. His eyes closed as he sighs, “I love you. So come back to me, okay?"

The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand, which was enough hope for the future, and more than Dean could have ever asked for at that moment.

As the days went on, Cas didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel, so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth, but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing, so he liked shaving him at least once a week. Cas seemed to like it by the humming noise he made.

They did learn a couple of things as the days went on.

One, peace and quiet are not what they strive for.

It only brought Cas anxiety, and his humming or singing became much louder and more desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop, and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.

A month after Cas got back, Dean's phone died in the middle of the night, and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest while softly sing to him in his still half-asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct, but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then, Cas held him back for the first time—tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.

Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch; if he were honest with himself, he would admit he was trying not to cry because he was busy singing. Busy, not wanting to disrupt this moment.

That night Dean sang all night long until Jack checked on them in the early hours and connected his phone.

Two, always have a light source on.

The lamp was the first one they had. Cas constantly wanted it on, but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back, watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept through the night.

Three, never leave Cas alone.

Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean, who would say, “This is my room. I get to come and go as I damn well please.”

Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while cleaning his guns or doing research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one-way conversation to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm, wanting to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together, and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.

Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas out loud and signed so he could hear her voice. Even then, she didn’t talk much. Instead, she let the laptop do the talking as she pets Cas’s hair while sitting on the chair by the bed.

Jack came in the most next to Dean. He liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved thanks to Amara.

"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas, who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming.

It was almost the end of the second month when another big mile-stone happened.

Jack was lying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk, cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack was reading him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story.

Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"

Cas smiled back at him- a genuine smile- and Dean almost dropped the piece of metal in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders tightening up while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.

Instead, he quietly composed himself as he asked in a shaky voice, "You want me to read the rest?"

Cas only blinked at him, keeping the slight smile, and Jack took it as a yes. Jack sat beside him again with a big smile plastered on his face, wiping his eyes every other word, as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair.

He had to excuse himself again.

After that day, Cas slowly started to open up a little more.

Once Dean woke up with Cas out of bed. Dean was already in full panic mode, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket inside out as he called out for Sam.

Then just as quick as the panic came, relief flooded him when he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles, but it filled Dean with such solace that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Dean held his arms open to press Cas into him, and without a second thought, Cas fell right into him as if it was an everyday normal occurrence.

That was the start of Cas now being up and around the bunker. It was like when a baby starts crawling, everyone keeping tabs on the baby’s first steps, except this baby was an eon old celestial being.

The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were Cas’s favorite places just to sit. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet, and it took a while for him to be able to walk around without those.

It was the sixth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean fought the lump in his throat, but Cas instantly pulled him in, his arms wrapped securely around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to listen to his voice again, but instead, he kisses Cas’s chest before saying, “I love you, too.”

Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little more, but then those days would come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder, and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.

“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide-eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open. “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again!”

Dean took Cas’s face in between his hands to hold his gaze. Only talking when he knew Cas was seeing him. “It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”

“Promise?” Dean felt Cas’s grip at his shoulder, holding him with desperation.

“Promise.”

That’s how Cas became human.

The nightmares have him waking up screaming some days, but at least Cas knew he was safe from the Empty’s clutches.

He was going to live his human life being loved and taken care of, and Dean was happy to say he felt Cas was doing the same for him.

#i am reposting this fic i wrote in October cause i didn't realize all my suptober fics are kinda gone #and i really liked this one so here you go #i edited just a little but not a lot so sorry about mistakes if beta's wanna beta with me that would be dope #destiel #wormstachewrites #my writing #fic #deancas #destiel fic #dean saves cas from the empty #selective mutism castiel #cas deal with the trauma of the empty #castiel is scared of the dark #dean #cas

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yutahoes · 3 years

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Thunder

main characters: childhood enemies!? Yuta Nakamoto and Y/N other characters: brother! Lee Taeyong word count: 2.2k words genre: fluff summary: You hated Yuta Nakamoto all your life. warnings: crotch kicking, Yuta is shirtless in one part, Y/N is in a diet, Y/N is scared of thunder, Yuta teasing Y/N about her chest, cursing inspired by the anime ‘Ouran Highschool Host Club’

Czennies’ Anime Boy Birthday Project - Day 2

You hated Nakamoto Yuta all your life.

No, scratch that, you loathed him.

It stemmed from when the two of you first met. He, 'accidentally' he claimed, ripped the head of your favorite Barbie doll. While you, intentionally you knew, kicked him in the crotch. It wasn't a big deal. You always see girls do that in TV but your dad had to ground you for doing that which is totally unfair. Yuta still gets to play with your brother, Taeyong, while you're inside the room when it was clearly his fault.

And that started the cat and dog attitude you had towards each other.

It doesn't help that your family is close to theirs. So when your family went to Japan for a vacation, the Nakamoto family welcomed you to their beach house. It was a pretty house, you thought, with an exclusive beach behind.

This will be the best vacation.

"Yuta!" his mom called which made you frown. Oh yeah, the devil is here. "Where is that boy? He should be helping you with your luggage, Y/N." You gave her a smile, dragging your suitcase in hand. Everything is going on smoothly, you don't want to see him just yet. "Yuta!" she called once again.

"Yup?" He asked and you clearly heard the footsteps accompanied by that annoying voice. Your jaw almost fell in surprise. Yuta's hair is damp as if he just came from a swim. His bare skin lightly tanned. "Oh, hi auntie and uncle." He greeted your parents before walking past you. When did he get taller than you? He gave Taeyong a brotherly hug which made you pout.

Your dad laughed. "When did you get so masculine, Yuta?"

"Had to charm the girls in town," Yuta whispered which made you frown once again. A ladies’ man. Why aren’t you surprised? You felt someone tugged the suitcase in your hand and turned to see Yuta smiling at you. "You're still ugly as ever." he whispered, which made you throw a punch at him. Yuta only laughed. When did his arms become muscular?

"When will the two of you ever change?" Your mom asked, followed by the others laughing.

-----

"Yuta, why don't you tour Y/N and Taeyong in town this afternoon?" his dad asked while they're eating lunch. He nodded then lightly glanced at you who were eating small portions of your food. His attention was disturbed when your dad asked some questions about his college education and his recent hobbies which he answered eloquently.

Taeyong took his dad's car keys to drive to town, Yuta in the passenger seat and you in the backseat. "Y/N," your brother called. "Stop thinking about your ex-boyfriend. This was supposed to be a vacation." You glared at your brother through the rearview mirror.

"Ex-boyfriend?" Yuta asked. "Someone actually had a crush on you?"

You gave him a fake smile before rolling your eyes, crossing an arm against your chest while huffing. "Can we get something to eat? I want some matcha cake and macaroons."

"Are you pregnant?" You only kicked Taeyong's chair in annoyance.

The market in town isn't that crowded even if it's afternoon. Maybe because the weather is too dry to stroll. Taeyong said that he'll just go to the comfort room, leaving the two of you looking for souvenirs. You already bought a lot of stationery yet your brother didn't come back. "Do you think he ditched us?" Yuta asked while you’re paying for the things you bought.

"Probably." You answered with a shrug. "We can get a cab back home, can't we?" The guy nodded before opening the door for you.

You were just enjoying the market, not caring about Yuta. Luckily, your parents had given you money to spend. Maybe you'll buy small gifts for your friends back home. Your attention was on some bracelets when Yuta told you to come with him. Although hesitant, you just went with him.

The pastry shop looks so pretty with its pastel shades. The pictures in the menu look so delectable that you're quickly hungry. "Order a lot, you didn't eat properly earlier," Yuta claimed, looking at the menu. "Are you on a diet or something?"

You glared. "Yeah, yeah. My ex broke up with me saying I'm fat so I'm trying to lose weight."

"Then you're dating the wrong guy. It's your body, he shouldn't care." He turned the menu to look at the cake selections. "Eat lots and be a cute piggy instead." You stepped on his foot which made him glare at you.

When the waitress came, she smiled at Yuta and he flirted back. You rolled your eyes, such a ladies' man. You ordered a chocolate cake and he ordered matcha, claiming that you wanted that in the car. Well, Yuta isn't that bad. But he's annoying.

The clouds turned darker that surprised you. It was alright earlier, why is it so gloomy now? "Do you think it will rain?" Yuta nodded, there's a high possibility. "I hope it isn't a thunderstorm." You whispered.

You walked around one last time, buying things that you might need at home when you bumped into someone familiar. He was Yuta's friend, you remembered, the one who talked to you in the playground when Yuta refused to let you join him and his friends back then. "Y/N," he greeted and you smiled, calling for his name. "Long time no see. You've grown up." It really has been a long time since you saw him. "Are you here for vacation?"

You nodded and made little chats with each other. When he excused himself to leave, you turned to find out that Yuta is gone.

Fuck! Where is he?

When you glanced at your phone, the battery was dead. Another fuck!

The raindrops fell on your skin that made you hiss. Third fuck!

How are you going home now?

------

Of all the people to meet, why does it have to be that guy? Yuta knew that he had a huge crush on you and seeing how you smiled at him, you probably had a crush on that guy as well. He just went inside the store and bought some macaroons that you kept on asking for since earlier.

When he returned to where he last saw you, you're nowhere to be seen. Maybe you went with that stupid guy. He was about to call you when he realized he didn't have your number. You're with that guy, right? He'll bring you home safely.

The raindrops fell. Maybe he'll just stay under a shed and wait until the rain stops. But as the minutes passed, it grew heavier.

The sky was so dark and little rumbles could be heard. A flash of lightning can be seen followed by large raindrops falling on the pavement as thunder came rolling in. A thunderstorm. He might stay here for a long time.

Yuta was tapping his foot along the music in his headphones when his phone rang, indicating a new number. When he took the call, it was Taeyong's voice. "Where are you and Y/N? I'll come…"

"I'm not with Y/N."

"What?" he asked, shouting through the phone. Yuta explained that he left you with a friend but it was his mom who answered on the phone that his friend came and you were not with him. "Yuta, my sister is scared of thunder. She can't move at all when she hears thunder. Please…" Yuta doesn't need to hear the continuation, he knew he had to find you.

He kept on running under the pouring rain, asking people he passed if they saw the girl he kept on describing. He kept on looking inside shops opened to see if you were inside. The sky is getting darker, it's almost nighttime. He needed to find you, quick.

A flash of light came followed by rumbles of thunder that startled him. If he's surprised like this, how would you feel? Maybe you're too scared now. Where could you be? He stopped in front of the town chapel, a puddle of water can be seen by the entrance.

Yuta ran the steps of the chapel, opening the door widely. "Y/N!" he called. "Are you here?" A bolt of huge lightning illuminated the place, followed by a loud rumble of thunder but he heard the small whimpers coming from the altar steps.

He stood there, watching you under the table. Eyes closed, both hands on your ear, shaking, soaking wet. Another thunder and you jolted in surprise, crying louder while calling for your dad.

He pulled the linen above the table, wrapping it on you which made you look at him. He put the headphone on your ear as you gaze at him with tear-stained eyes. "I'm sorry, Y/N." he whispered before you wrap your arms around him, relieved that someone is here. That he is here. You flinched when the lightning struck, loud thunder echoed through the walls of the small chapel that made you clench tightly on Yuta's shirt. "I'm here now, Y/N. I won't leave you."

----

You woke up with the sound of chirping birds outside, the sunlight hitting your face that made you groan. When you turned to the side, away from the sunlight, you felt something warm. Surprised, you opened one eye and saw Yuta's bare torso lying next to you. "Yah!" you shouted, immediately checking your clothes under the blanket then pulling it up to cover your clothed body.

The guy rubbed his eyes, "What? It's still so fucking early."

"Why are you sleeping in my bed?"

He stared at you dead in the eyes. "This is my room." He stated as a matter of fact and you glance around the unfamiliar room full of L'arc En Ciel and Ultraman posters. "And you were the one who didn't let go of me last night." He claimed while lying on his bed again, groaning.

The happenings that night came to you. When his dad and Taeyong came to pick you up in the chapel, you kept clinging on Yuta under the warm blanket in the backseat of the car. After showering, you cried in his arms in fright. Maybe, you slept like that.

God, it's so embarrassing. Why are you like this? "Nothing happened, right?"

Yuta chuckled before pulling the blanket to cover himself. "I won't ever touch your non-existent breasts." This guy, really. You lightly kicked him off the bed, startled that instead of his thigh, you felt something hard by your foot.

Then he disappeared from the bed.

He stood up from falling on the floor, glaring at you. "Why do you keep kicking me there? Will you be responsible if I can't have a child?" What? "If something happens…" You heard the door open behind you, "Will you marry me?"

A gasp can be heard followed by your mom's voice shouting, "Honey, Yuta already proposed." What? You glanced at the doorway, his mom was there with a wide smile on her face. "Oh my God, you two. We've been waiting for this for so long."

"No, it's not…" But the door closed before you could finish your sentence. You were about to go out the door when Yuta raced you to it. He closed the door, trapping you between his body and the door. "Yuta, our parents will…"

"Let them misunderstand," he whispered that made you look at him. "Be responsible for me. I have the biggest crush on you since we first met."

"You broke my Barbie the first time we met."

"Because you spend more time on that toy than playing with me." he revolted. "You only look at me when I tease you so I kept doing that." He stepped forward, removing the distance between the two of you. " Please take a chance on me, Y/N. I'll hug you during thunderstorms. I'll let you eat all your favorite food. Just please, take a chance on me."

There's nothing wrong with taking a chance with Yuta. Both your families are friends. Your mom seemed so excited at the idea of the two of you together. And his mom already said that they've been waiting for this for so long. He's handsome, has a nice body, has a nice smile, and did you mention that he has such a nice body? You nodded and he flashed his million-dollar smile, hugging you. "Wow, you really have small breasts." You lightly pushed him, kicking him in the crotch.

"You're really unbelievable."

Yuta crouched on the floor, repeatedly punching his lower back. "That's the third time. You'll really be responsible for me." He stood up but you opened the door and ran outside, him chasing after you.

Your parents were both looking as you got out of the house and into the beach sand outside. He hugged you from the back, lightly raising you. "Caught you." Then proceed to throw you in the water.

"They look really cute together." Yuta's mom commented that made the older men nod.

"Nice job, Taeyong." your dad claimed, tapping your brother's shoulder.

The younger of the five chuckled while watching you and Yuta playing tag on the water. "I just hope they won't be too lovey-dovey."

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #hotpinklists #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #nakamoto yuta fluff #nct yuta #czennie's anime boy project

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hockeyboysimagines · 3 years

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Till the end of time

Chapter 4

Warnings: there’s a lot of kissing in this chapter(some of it gets very heated) mentions of partying, consent(it’s sexy)sexual references,talk about virginity, and swearing.

Hola! I hope you enjoy this chapter. It’s a little shorter, because the next one will be longer. There will be no smut until probably the next one, as in this chapter they are both still 17, and I am not going to write about sex with teenagers. Either way, there’s some good stuff in here for you all😉

Leave me some feedback or asks anytime!

-💕

Joel and Libby returned to school 3 weeks after that Christmas Eve kiss. They hadn’t spoken of it and they only kissed once after that. He really wanted to talk to her but he couldn’t get more than a minute alone with her during the remainder of break and once they got back to school it had been almost impossible.

He chucked his clothing back in his drawers. He had planned on making a move or at least trying to talk to her on the drive back to BU but his parents had bought him a desk and hers had also bought her a new dresser so their solo ride back to Boston had become a little crowded. He begrudgingly agreed that it would be easier to drive with his parents, and let Libby’s dad pack both items in his truck. He sat with his arms folded for the whole ride, headphones jammed in his ears. His mom kept eyeing him in the mirror.

While his and Libby’s dad unloaded the stuff, his mom cornered him by the car.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What? Nothing.”

“You’ve been pouting for the last 4 and half hours in the backseat. Does it have anything to do with where you snuck off to on Christmas Eve?”

Joel snapped his mouth shut with a gasp. How did she know about that?

“I didn’t-why would I sneak out?”

“Joel. I’m your mom. I know everything. And your not that quiet. Were you at Libby’s?”

She didn’t sound or look angry, and at this point, there was no reason in lying.

“Yeah. Yeah mom I was.” He mumbled, glancing at Libby before looking back at his mom.

“I see. And did you-“

“No. We didn’t.” His cheeks turned red and he rolled his eyes. He wasn’t about to have the sex talk with his mom when Libby was standing ten feet away. His mom didn’t say much else because Libby’s mom came over to talk and Joel made his escape. He walked past her brushing her shoulder.

“Can we talk then?”

She nodded, a small smile spread across her face and Joel was reminded of just how beautiful she was. And then his dad was yelling at him to come help carry the dresser up to Libby’s apartment.

He had been in a bad mood since they had said goodbye to their parents and headed to their own separate living spaces. Heather had returned home only a few hours before they did and was waiting in the living room to greet Libby.

“Hi chick! How was your Christmas?”

Libby smiled tiredly and fell into the recliner leaving her bags by the door. She was happy to visit home but she had missed Heather and just really needed to talk.

“Fine. How was Florida?” Heather had a tan and her hair looked lighter, and she smiled. Libby had always felt comfortable talking with Heather about anything and everything, but she had always felt less than when she was around her. Boys broke their necks just to talk to her, and Libby was used to being in the shadows. But never with Joel. He had never shown any romantic interest in Heather. He had never shown any romantic interest in her either but here they were.

“Warm and Sandy. It was nice but I heard we had snow at home. Kind of missed Cicero you know? I’m sad I missed your Mom’s party. That’s like the highlight of my year.” Libby chuckled and shifted in the chair. Her parents threw a party every year, and every year she, Joel and Heather stole some wine or whatever they could get their hands on and snuck out to the roof before midnight to welcome Christmas Day. This year there had been no Heather at midnight, but instead she and Joel had welcomed midnight by kissing in her bed.

Heather lived at the end of their block, in a big white colonial house with a pool and a large yard. Her parents were gone a lot, leaving Heather to be raised mostly by nannies and Libby’s parents. They were great people, but had missed most of Heather’s most important parts of her life. They made up for it by showering her in expensive gifts and trips, but Heather craved parental affection and spent more time with Libby and Joel’s parents than her own. She had become like another child to both sets.

“So what did Santa bring you this year?” She asked sneakily.

“Just ask me Heather.”

“Okay fine what did Joel bring you this year?”

“He didn’t bring me anything.”

“Well that’s rude of-“

“He kissed me.”

Heather dropped her phone, and her eyes flew open. She choked out a laugh.

“HE DID WHAT?”

Libby nodded and rolled on her side, cheek resting on the arm of the chair. She was so mentally exhausted, and confused she didn’t know how to feel. But the look on Heather’s face caused her cheeks to heat up, and she stifled a giggle.

“When? Where? How many times? Was there tongue?”

“In my bed, in my room, twice and a little. It was at midnight.”

“Wait hang on.” She held up a hand and rubbed her forehead with the other “You were in bed together and you only kissed once? That’s weird. And rude you didn’t invite me.”

“We were laying in bed-fully clothed-“ she added and Heather deflated “ And I don’t know. He just kissed me. He told me earlier he wanted to do it but my house was full of people so he climbed in the window later. The second time was at Max’s.”

“I-wow. I’m shocked. Good for Joel. Why are you not more excited about this? It sounds like it was a pretty big deal.”

“Because I’m still in the same boat I was before only now I have more questions than answers.”

“Well let’s worry about that later. Let’s get back to this kissing part. Was it like a make out or just like a kiss?”

“Both? I don’t know I don’t really have a lot of kissing experience so. It was nice though.” She ran a finger over her upper lip remembering how his had felt there. It had been short, but incredibly sweet and slow, his tongue just tracing her lower lip before he pulled way from her leaving her breathless and wanting to do it again.

They had laid in her bed for a while, not saying a word, Joel’s hand running through her hair. When she woke up the next morning he was gone, and she was unsure of where they stood. She saw him mostly in passing the next few weeks, always occupied with family visiting and catching up with her other friends from home. They had one other moment after that but had been interrupted yet again.

Max of all people had thrown a small get together, and Joel had gone searching for her after he arrived and didn’t see her, but saw her car in Max’s driveway.

“Where’s Libby?”

Max rolled his eyes “She’s upstairs in the bathroom. Have you two come to your senses yet? We’ve got a bet going.”

“What?”

“Come on Beezer seriously? The rest of the world has been waiting on you two idiots since freshman year. And don’t bother denying it.”

“I’m not.” Max’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead. He had expected him to put up more of a fight than he did, to deny deny deny, but Joel really didn’t see the point. No one had ever believed him when he said there was nothing between them, and now that there was he wasn’t going to continue to lie to himself or anyone else. He turned to walk towards the steps but Max called his name.

“For what it’s worth, I knew all those years ago that she wasn’t staring at me playing football that time. It was always you buddy.”

Joel chuckled and climbed the stairs, turning the corner to walk down the hallway to the bathroom. The door opened and Libby stepped out, phone in hand. She had on a deep grey turtleneck, and dark jeans and boots. Her hair was straight today, thick strands falling down her back and shoulders. She had her eyes on her phone as she exited the doorway.

“Hey.”

She froze and smiled softly when she saw him, stopping and leaning back against the wall. The hallway was small and dark, the distant noise and laughter from their friends downstairs seemed to be further and further away as he moved closer to her. She was like a magnet, pulling him in before he even knew what was happening. He wasn’t usually this bold but something had taken over his body since he kissed her in Christmas and now he couldn’t stop.

“Hi.” He reached a hand out to grasp at her sweater, running his fingers over the fabric on her waist.

“You look nice.” The other hand came up to push her hair over her shoulder and slide up the side of her neck and he pressed himself up against her. She could feel his breath in her face and her eyes slid closed as his lips barely brushed against hers, just starting to connect.

“BEEZER!” Joel jumped, turning his head hands still on her.

Fuck

He turned back to her and sighed, head falling forward. He pushed away from her and stared for a moment.

“Well. I guess you better go.” She said quietly, still against the wall. He shook his head. Whoever was yelling his name would have to wait. He stepped forward again, this time moving right in for fear of being interrupted again. Libby’s arms came to rest around him as he pressed his lips to hers, letting them rest there before he moved them. He had been holding out on her on Christmas Eve. His hands came to hold either side of her face, mouth moving against hers. It turned heated after a few moments, as he pinned her against the wall. She let out a breath, as his mouth moved to her neck.

“Joel.” She had his T-shirt fisted in both of her hands, and pulled him back to her. Joel wanted her so bad, but not in Max’s house and not like this. They broke apart finally, both breathing raggedly still pressed up against the wall. Her world was spinning.

Joel leaned forward and pressed another very chaste kiss to her lips before he took her hand and led her to the stairs.

“Come on. Let’s go see our friends. We can finish this later.

But they never got the chance. Libby was slightly nervous to return to school simply because there would be no interruptions this time and she wasn’t sure what would happen the next time they were alone together.

“Joel knows your a virgin right?”

“I assume so. My lack of dating growing up should be his first clue.”

“Well….true. I think it’s kind of endearing though Lib. Just make sure that your comfortable with whatever happens. That’s the most important thing.”

“I know. But it’s not a conversation I’ve had with him yet.”

“So what’s gonna happen now?” Heather had her legs curled under her, looking excited.

“I don’t know honestly. Guess we’ll have to just wait and see.”

“You guys are totally gonna bang.”

Libby picked up a pillow and chucked it at her, but they both started laughing till tears came from her eyes and she felt better.

“Look. I’m happy for you. We’ve all been waiting on this a long time. I really hope you guys can figure this out.”

“Me too Heather. Me too.”

*******

“So how was break? “ Jake asked from his stall. They had worked out in the morning and were hanging out in the locker room after. Joel had avoided talking about break for the most part, especially since class had resumed. He saw Libby during class mostly but he hadn’t been able to be alone with her yet. They were buried in catch up work and his coach had been extending practice and making them watch a ridiculous amount of game tape. By the time he had any free time he was exhausted. They were 2 weeks into February, and the guys on the team were planning a party for his birthday. Jake had passed the message to Libby, Heather and their roommates who then invited all their friends. Joel hadn’t been able to talk to her, but he had been thinking about her all morning. That kiss, even after a few weeks was still driving him up the wall.

“Fine.” He shrugged.

“Just fine?” Jake was fishing for information.

“Yeah. Just fine.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“Uh- kind of? I don’t know.”

“Oh Beezer.” Kyle was chuckling from spot “Your a fucking sap.”

Joel glared at him and chucked a ball of tape, hitting him in the chest with it.

“Just tell her you like her dude.”

“I don’t know why your talking about-“

“Stop. Just stop.”

Joel huffed. He had never been so short with his parents or his friends, but this situation was twisting him up.

“Listen. I get it and it makes sense. We’ve all had our phase of crushing on Libby. With the hair, and the eyes and the-“

“Ass.” Kyle added in.

“I’ll kill you.” Joel growled lowly, but Jake smiled.

“But yours is lasting significantly longer than the rest of us.You gotta make a move here Beezer. Before someone else does.”

“That’s not gonna happen. She’s hung up on him and that’s never gonna change. I don’t think Libby even knows what a boy is if it’s not him.” Kyle said.

“It’s not that simple.”

“No Beezer it is that simple. Stop being a puss and go get your girl.”

*******

Libby was home alone, doing homework when a loud banging on her door startled her. She was already buried in school stuff and studying and had been at it for over an hour. She hopped off her bed and hurried to the door, not bothering to look through the peephole to see who it was. She pulled it open and Joel came barging past her “Alright listen I-“

But he stopped mid step when he got a good look at her, a surge of heat shooting through him. She was wearing a T-shirt that he was pretty sure had been his once upon a time, that just barely covered a pair of black boy-shorts. Her long hair was hanging loose, slightly wavy and her glasses were perched on her nose. She blushed still holding the door open, mouth open slightly. Joel blew out a breath and closed his eyes, reaching behind her and slamming the door shut.

“You can’t-you can’t answer the door like that.” He was breathing through his nose, head down, eyes still closed hand braced on the door behind her head.

“And I can’t have this conversation I need to have with you until you go put pants on because I can’t even think straight right now.”

Libby pulled at the hem of her T-shirt, trying to cover herself. She ducked out from under his arm and hurried to her room ripping through drawers. She settled on a pair of jeans, yanking them up her legs and buttoning them. She let out a shuddering breath and raked her fingers through her hair fluffing it, and tossed her glasses on her bed, fanning herself before leaving her bedroom. Joel was sitting on a chair forehead pressed against his clasped hands. He looked up when she cleared her throat and pointed at the sofa.

“Sit.”

She sat, hands folded in her lap and looked up at him from under her eyelashes. The muscles in his jaw were working as he stared at her, hands still pressed together. Even in jeans and T-shirt he was having a hard time not grabbing a hold of her. It was amazing how someone he had known most of his life as his best friend had suddenly changed into someone he couldn’t handle being in the same room with, without grabbing her and kissing her.

“Are you okay?” She asked. He looked downright uncomfortable and stiff in the chair, eyes squinted at her. He scoffed and shook his head.

“No. I am not okay. What-what is this?” He said gesturing between them.

“I don’t know Joel, you tell-“ but before she could finish her sentence he was out of his chair like a rocket, and had pulled her to her feet slamming his lips to hers. She was surprised, letting out a squeal before getting her bearings, and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He pushed her backwards and they stumbled into her room, landing on her bed with a thud. He ran his hands up her legs to her hips and slid them under her shirt. Libby had only ever kissed one boy besides Joel but she was pretty sure she never wanted to kiss anyone again after this. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth, causing her to gasp as he ground his pelvis into hers. She hurriedly reached between them, pulling at the zipper on his jeans.

Joel knew for a fact that Libby was a virgin, or at least he was pretty sure. She had never had a serious boyfriend , and the only person she had ever kissed had been like 2 years ago.

“Are you still a-“ he asked as she pulled the zipper down and opened the button. She nodded slowly, fingers pulling his jeans down slightly, but he stopped her again.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? We don’t have to.”

She nodded but Joel shook his head “I need to hear a yes Lib.”

“Yes Joel I’m sure.”

Her shirt had hiked up, she was shivering and she had his hoodie halfway off when the door to her apartment opened and they froze. There would be no explanation for this. Her clothing was ruffled and her hair was a mess, a deep blush across her cheeks and Joel’s jeans were unbuttoned. They stayed in that position, until she heard whoever it was move towards the room on the left.

Jenna

She moved around her room for a minute and then walked back through the apartment and closed the door locking it behind her. She definitely had no idea they were there, and Libby let out a long breath. Joel was still on top of her, one of his forearms braced by her head hand tangled in her hair, the other hand under her shirt, holding her by the waist. His forehead came to rest on her collarbone, breathing heavily against her neck.

“Fucking Jenna.” He mumbled against her skin, shaking his head. She could feel his heart rate slowing, but hers was still knocking around in her chest. He made no attempt to move but instead picked his head up to look at her, and leaned down to kiss her again slower this time. She pulled his hoodie the rest of the way off and his shirt over his head. Just as his hands gripped the bottom of her shirt and began to pull it up, the door flew open again, this time louder and banged off the wall behind it.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” He snapped pushing himself up with an angry huff to let her slide out from under him. He walked to the doorway of her room, her following close behind to peek over his shoulder. Heather and Jake had fallen in, attached at the lips hands everywhere. Their mouths fell open as Jake bumped into the arm chair and nearly dropped her.

“Jesus-“ he grumbled and as he regained his footing, he looked up and spotted them staring from the doorway of her room. He gasped and froze, causing Heather to turn, eyes taking in Libby’s messy hair and ruffled shirt and Joel’s unzipped jeans and shirtless body she dropped her purse in surprise from her arms the contents spilling across the floor. They stared at eachother for ten seconds before Heather sputtered out “What the fu-“

“Attaboy.” Jake said cheerily giving him a big smile and a wink. Joel was scowling, Libby’s eyes were huge as the four of them stood stock still. It might have been funny any other time, but Joel was tired of getting interrupted. He had finally worked up the nerve to do something and every time he got her alone someone felt the need to ruin it.

“We didn’t know you were here. Do you want us to leave?” Heather asked. She was fighting back a smile, eyes locked on Libby’s. Jake was glaring murder at Joel shaking his head back and forth behind her. Jake had been trying to get Heather to go out with him for months and he wasn’t about to let this get in the way.

Libby peeked up at Joel from his shoulder and he gave her a long look, before he turned back to them, with a small sigh.

“No. It’s fine.”

“We’ll talk later.” Heather pointed at Libby smiling gently. As Jake followed Heather down the hall he turned gave Joel a thumbs up and a big smile. Joel gave him the finger back before he took a step back and shut the door, still shirtless and turned to her, head bowed hands on his hips. The mood was gone now, but the tension still hung heavy in the air, especially since their friends were right down the hall doing the same thing they had almost done just a few minutes ago. He wasn’t about to let Libby lose her virginity with an audience even though it was physically painful for him to make that decision. He wanted it to be perfect for her, especially if he was the one she was trusting with it. He tipped his head back and breathed in heavily, before expelling it back out slowly.

“We can’t do this right now.” She nodded and patted her hair trying to smooth it down. Her skin felt hot and sweaty under her shirt, and she reached down to pick his up and hand it to him. He took it and pulled it on before buttoning his jeans and running a hand over his face.

“You can stay.” She said quietly, looking at him hopefully. She was still flushed, looking so innocent sitting on her bed. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea, unsure if he could keep his hands to himself but he wasn’t about to leave when she was looking at him like that. She motioned for him to sit down on her bed and stood, digging through her drawers to find a pair of shorts. She flipped the tv on and turned the lights off before turning to him. She slowly unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs, Joel swallowed thickly. She was trying to kill him he was sure of it. She pulled the shorts on and walked around to slide in next to him, her body pressed up against his. They had never slept in the same bed before and the last time they had been here they were fighting.

“I’m sorry about them.” He said looking at the tv. He wasn’t even sure what was playing, he was too busy trying not to stare at her bare legs that were pulled up to her chest. Jake fucking owed him his life after this. But he would worry about that tomorrow. His mind was racing. They had come so close in an instant, almost taking a step that would have changed the course of their whole relationship. It was going to happen, he had come to terms with the fact that things would never go back to how they were.

“It’s okay. I understand if you don’t want to.” She was fiddling with a lock of hair, a nervous habit, and looking at her feet. Joel’s heart sank. He turned to look at her. Libby had never been good at recognizing how people felt about her. She thought he didn’t want to. She was so wrong.

“What? I want to. More than you know. But not with them here.” Her eyes were wide and watched as his hand came to rest on her knee giving it a squeeze. She sighed letting her head fall against his shoulder, but she smiled slightly.

“I really hate our friends.”

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tommodirection · 3 years

Text

After All This Time

Liam Payne x Reader

Word Count: 7.8k (I don’t know what happened guys)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of divorce, bullying, angst (but only with one t), not proofread

Masterlist

When your mum had told you that she and your little sister were moving up to Wolverhampton, you had thought she was joking.

But when your father came into the room and confirmed that they were separating, and that you were meant to go with her, you knew she really wasn’t. You had protested profoundly at first, not wanting to move away from your mates, but your mother was firm in her choice, and so, off you went to Wolverhampton, a town you didn’t even know existed.

The day you were moving in, you sat on the curb, pouting and refusing to help. It was childish, you would admit, but you were only twelve at the time. Your little sister, Mariana, looked up to you, and followed in your footsteps, so you were joined by her a few minutes after they began moving boxes inside.

You had both sat, you were glaring at the road in front of you, and Mariana was copying, although she kept looking at you out of the corner of her eye, seeing if you had stopped yet.

“Y/N! Mariana! It’s time to start unpacking!” Your mother shouted from the door. You stayed put, as did Mariana, watching the large truck pull out of the driveway.

You weren’t sure if you were more upset about your parents separating, or moving to a whole new town, one across the country from your father. Mariana was nine at the time, not much younger than you. She was a sweetheart, she looked almost identical to your mother, same eyes and hair, even the same nose.

“If you don’t come inside in the next thrity seconds, you won’t get any cookies!” Your mother shouted again.

They were probably just store bought ones, there was no way she had already unpacked all of her supplies and made something, so you stayed. Mariana did too, for the first ten seconds, and then she broke, running into the house to get cookies. You shook your head, you knew she’d break.

“Y/N, love, are you coming in?” Your mother asked, and you didn’t respond, you kept looking ahead of you. You heard her let out an exhausted sigh, and seconds later, you heard the door close.

You tucked your head into your knees and sat, pushing back tears even though you were alone. You weren’t sure how long you were sitting out there, could’ve been a few minutes, could’ve been a few hours, but what you do remember about that day, was meeting him.

He had approached you, a little plate in his hands. He had tapped you on your shoulder, and you had quickly stood, brushing yourself off.

“Can I help you?” You asked, your voice wavering a bit.

“Hi,” he gave you a shy smile, “My family lives next door, and my mum told me to bring your family this,” he gestured to the plate.

“Oh uhm, yeah,” you tucked your hair behind your ear, “You can just bring that up to my mum, she’ll take care of it,” you pointed to the door, and sat back down.

You tucked your head back into your knees, expecting the boy to go drop the plate off and go back to his house, but instead, he sat next to you, setting the plate aside.You looked up, giving him a small smile and turning back towards the road.

“Are you alright?” He asked, and you let out a small laugh, which probably threw him off.

“I don’t know, I guess,” you shrugged, and he squinted at you.

“I don’t think someone who was okay would be sitting on the curb when the sun’s about to set,” he chided and you flushed. His accent was delightful, something you’d never heard before, different from where you were from, a good different.

“I guess you’re right,” you admitted, and turned to the boy, sticking your hand out. “Y/N,” you introduced.

He shook your hand, “Liam, Liam Payne,” he smiled and you bit back a giggle. “So, Y/N, what are you doing out here?” He asked, leaning forward on his knees.

You took a second to answer. What were you doing out here? “I don’t know, protesting, I guess,” you shrugged again, suddenly embarrassed of your behavior.

“Protesting what?” He probed further, you didn’t blame him.

“I don’t want to be here. I want to be back home, where we were fine, and where my dad was,” you picked at your jeans, feeling tears swelling again.

You had known their marriage wasn’t a perfect one. You were twelve, you weren’t dumb, but you had tried to ignore it. You had tried to block the endless fights and countless hours of lost sleep out of your mind.

He was cheating on her, well, that’s what you had picked up from their fights. It’s not like you were trying to eavesdrop, their voices echoed through the whole house. You usually sacrificed the one pair of sound-proof headphones to your sister, trying to protect her.

“Well, there must be some sort of reason you’re here, it can’t be for nothing,” he reasoned and you shook your head.

“I don’t think there's a reason.”

“I can be a reason,” he offered. You quickly looked at him and saw his face turn pink, “That’s, that’s not what I meant! I meant I can try to make moving here nice, try to make it better!” He explained and you laughed.

“Yeah, I guess that would be nice,” you agreed, and he raised a playful eyebrow.

“You guess, or you know?” He teased and you gave him a light shove. He chuckled and sighed. You heard a light voice call for him, assumingly his mother. “I’ve got to go, I wasn’t meant to be out this late,” he stood, offering his hand to help you up.

You took it, and he pulled you off the ground. You grabbed the plate, a plate full of sweets. “Thank you, Liam,” you whispered, and he nodded.

“No problem, Y/N, now I’ve got to get going, or she’ll have my head, you’re going to St Peter’s, right? Year eight?” You nodded in confirmation. “Great! I’ll see you tomorrow then! Goodnight!” He yelled as he ran away, you looked at the small plate of food in your hands. You looked up at the new house, finally deciding to go inside.

You stepped inside, the house already smelling of your mother’s candles, a few were scattered around the house. Laughter echoed through the hallway, coming from the kitchen. You made your way in, your sister’s face lighting up when she saw you.

“Y/N!” She yelled, running to wrap you in a hug. Your mother turned, smiling at you, and then her eyes settled on the plate, concerning quickly overcoming her face.

“Where’d you get that?” She inquired, and you felt a smile tug at your lips.

“The neighbor boy, Liam, he says it’s from his mum,” you handed her the plate, and she instantly relaxed.

“Well isn’t that just sweet!” She exclaimed, setting the plate on the counter beside her. “We’ll have to go thank them later, but now,” she narrowed her eyes at you, “little Ana was nice enough to bring your boxes to your room, along with hers. You’ll be sharing a room for now. Would you mind going to go unpack, my dear? Or at least get your school stuff set up?” She asked, cocking her head to the side.

You nodded, not wanting to argue further. Mariana led you down the hallway, all the way to the room you’d be sharing for a few more years.

She had already unpacked, her Madonna poster on the wall above the bed she’d claimed as hers. Your boxes were all stacked neatly, your comforter already on the bed, and the closet already half full of Mariana’s clothes.

You sighed, beginning to unpack all of the boxes. The first box was just full of clothes and hangers, most of the boxes having similar content. You hung all of them up on your side of the closet, putting your folded pants on a shelf towards the bottom. You set aside the new school uniform, putting it on the nightstand next to your bed.The rest of the boxes were filled with decorations, a Mariah Carey poster, going above your bed like your sister’s. You had a few pictures, setting the one of your family at the zoo, years ago, on your nightstand.

About two hours later, you had fully unpacked, not that there was much. You had a dinner break in the middle, but then went back to work.

Now, you had pajamas on, and teeth already brushed. You went to bed that night, well, you tried. You honestly tried, but sleep just didn’t want to welcome you.You laid awake, staring at the ceiling, drumming your fingers on your blanket. You heard Mariana shuffling a bit, but brushed it off, she always moved in her sleep.

The next morning was a rush, your mother was hurrying to have both of you dressed and ready, quite a struggle when you had two kids and you had never done this type of thing alone before.

You had tried to be as helpful as possible, getting dressed and ready quickly, you even tried to help make breakfast, but when you had burnt the toast, you had been instructed to help Mariana get dressed and ready.

You walked into the shared room and saw Mariana, her polo and skirt on, but nothing else, not her vest, socks, or headband.

“Alright, Mariana, you’re nine, you should be able to get dressed on your own,” you scolded lightly, and pulled her vest and socks out, grabbing the headband from her nightstand. “What’s up?” You asked when you saw her frowning and staring at the ground.

“What if they don’t like me?” She asked, gently swaying her feet. You had felt like this was going to happen.

“Listen, Ana, they’re going to love you, you know how I know?” You asked and she shook her head. “I know because I love you, you’re pretty, funny, smart, kind, there’s no reason they won’t like you, alright? But if someone doesn’t like you, don’t let it bother you, but let me know, okay?” You asked again, and she nodded, giggling lightly.

You handed her the vest and she slipped it on over her head, adjusting it. You put in her socks, grabbed the black Mary Janes from the end of her bed. You slipped them on quickly, and she stood, running to get out the door.

“Ana! Aren’t you forgetting something?” You held up the headband and she giggled, quickly running over to you. You placed it on her, making sure all of her hair was brushed and out of her face. “Perfect!” You complimented, “Now let’s go!” You grabbed her hand and ran to the kitchen, inhaling your breakfast.

Your mother was slipping on a pair of heels, dressed for her interviews today. She grabbed her purse and ushered both of you out the door and into the car.

She dropped Mariana off at the primary school, giving her a kiss and a small hug before setting her off to a teacher for help. Once she took off again, she asked you the routine questions, about if you were nervous, if you knew your schedule, if you knew anyone yet, the only question you were able to truthfully answer.

You couldn’t get out of the car soon enough. You ran inside, gripping your backpack straps as you looked for Liam in the crowd.

You were quickly giving up, not seeing a single brunette in the crowd, a little odd.

Someone tapped on your shoulder, and you spun around, smiling when you saw Liam standing there. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him a long hug. You pulled away, Liam was blushing profoundly and a wide grin was spread across his face.

“Hey,” you greeted and he laughed.

“Quite a greeting,” he teased and you playfully rolled your eyes.

He was smiling at you, until he looked over your shoulder, his smile dropping. You were about to turn around, but he grabbed your arm, “Hey! How about we go this way?” He jerked his head in that direction and began leading you away, but someone stepped in front of him before you got far. “Shit,” you heard him mumble under his breath.

The boy in front of you wasn’t very big, definitely shorter than Liam, bright blonde hair and his sleeves on his uniform were pulled up, almost in an attempt to look cool. He really looked like an angry three year old at church.

“Hey Liam,” he smirked and Liam took a deep breath.

“Can we just head to class?” You whispered in his ear and he shook his head.

“Y/N, you should go to class, I’ll just meet you there,” he said, desperation clear in his voice.

“Liam, I’m not leaving,” you said, detecting a bit of fear in his voice.

“Yeah, why don’t you just leave me and little Liam alone for a bit?” The boy sneered, hooking an arm around Liam.

The student body continued doing their business, almost as if they were used to whatever was going on.

“Little?” You spat, looking the boy up and down.

“Yeah, he’s little Liam, loves to sing,” he added, squeezing Liam’s cheeks, Liam was obviously trying to pull away, but another boy was standing behind him, this one a bit taller than Liam. He held him in place.

You had never actually witnessed bullying, you were just taught about it and how to avoid it and how to address it if needed. This was nothing like the movies about bullying you’d been forced to watch. Those bullies were dedicated, relentless. These bullies just seemed lazy.

“Little Liam who loves to sing? What kind of half-assed name is that?” You asked, and the short blonde was clearly thrown off guard. “He’s certainly not little, he’s a whole foot taller than you, so I don’t think you really get to speak,” you scoffed and the blonde glared at you.

“I call him what I want! I-“ you interrupted him.

“Why is that? Why do you call him what you want? Did he say you could call him that?” You prompted and you saw the boy becoming more furious with each second.

“I-“ he began. “Just shut up!” He hissed and you laughed. This dude was like, three feet tall, why the hell did he think he could tell you what to do?

“No, I won’t shut up! Back to the half-assed insult, why is it bad he likes to sing? If he likes to sing, then get off his back. You listen to people on the radio, they all started where he is at one point. Don’t make fun of someone for a hobby,” you watched as he became embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red.

He stayed silent for a few moments, trying to come up with a witty comeback. “Why do you even care if I mess with him, eh? Is your little boyfriend or something?”

You didn’t see why that should bother you, “I care because you’re being a dick,” he reeled at that word, “he’s my mate, and just cause you hate yourself, doesn’t give you a right to belittle him.”

It was such a second-grade argument, and you were winning. You had learned a trick from your mother, she had been a lawyer before the divorce. You always question their points, you try to point out faults in their stance, and nine times out of ten, it worked.

“Now, if you’ll stop acting like an eight year old, I’d like to go to class with my friend,” you finished, a polite, fake, smile on your face. He scoffed and walked away, the other kid following behind him closely.

Liam walked next to you, his head low, he seemed embarrassed that that had just happened.

“Why did you tell me to leave?” You asked and he turned his head, trying to avoid your eyes.

He mumbled something, but you didn’t hear it, so he repeated himself. “I didn’t want you to see that, I didn’t want you to think any less of me,” he continued looking down at his feet.

“Liam, I would never think any less of you, unless you became famous or something and started acting like that blonde little Rumplestilskin,” you joked and you saw him smile out of the corner of your eye. “It takes a lot of bravery and strength to tolerate that, I admire that. I don’t think any less of you. In fact, I respect you a lot more now,” you reassured him.

“Thank you Y/N,” he said, his voice light.

“Anytime, Liam.”

Two years later, Liam went on the X-Factor for the first time, and you were there with him, well, for his audition.

You had stood outside, waiting with his family as he went in. You knew Liam was an amazing singer, he was funny, charming, attractive, they were going to love him. You were proven right when he came out of the audition room, a wide smile on his face.

“Three yeses,” he said, and all of you erupted into cheers.

You were the first to hug him, wrapping your arms around him and bringing him close. He buried his head in your neck, laughing as you squealed.

But just as you watched him succeed, you had to watch him come crashing down.

He had went home from the judge’s house, absolutely crushed. He stayed at your house for a week, mostly staying in bed and crying while he was curled into you.

Time had been a bitch. Less than a year later, your mother lost her job.

You knew she was struggling with money, which is why you had gotten a job, trying to help with the bills as much as possible, but two minimum wage jobs couldn’t pay the bills. You had to move again. This time to Paris, where your mother had found a job.

You had tried to convince her to let you stay, to let you buy your own place, you even offered to stay with Liam, but there you were, right back at the start, packing your stuff again. Liam had helped you, he cried when he found out. You’d been fighting off his bullies for the past two and a half years, he was afraid of what was going to happen.

That wasn’t the only thing. He was going to miss you, you were his best friend after all. His parents had allowed him to stay at your house for the week before you left. He spent every night in your bed, despite your sister’s teasing. You knew you wouldn’t completely lose contact, you had each other’s numbers, and followed each other on Twitter, something you hoped would keep you close.

You’d never admit it to anyone, not even Mariana, but you had fallen in love with Liam. Maybe it wasn’t love, you were only fourteen, you didn’t know what love was, maybe.

Moving day was the worst. Worse than the last one. Your image of your dad had been ruined, but you still loved Liam, he had become one of the most important people in your life, arguably more important than Mariana. The truck was already packed, as was the car. Your sister and mum were sitting in the car, waiting for you to finish. You had been holding onto each other for the past thirty minutes. His head buried in your shoulder as you rocked back and forth.

“I don’t want you to go,” he mumbled for the millionth time.

“I don’t want me to either,” you felt your voice crack.

“I wish we had more time,” he whispered, and you broke.

“Me too, Liam, me too,” you cried and pulled away, knowing if you didn’t leave now, you never would. You pressed your forehead against his head. “I’ll miss you, so much Liam,” you said and he blinked back tears.

“You have no idea how much I’ll miss you,” he let out a shaky sigh.

“I want you to promise me one thing,” you said, waiting for him to look you in the eyes, “I want you to keep singing. I don’t care what those dickwads at our school say. You have talent, Liam, and you can’t give up on that. Okay? You’re too amazing for that,” you ordered and he nodded rapidly.

“I promise,” he placed his hands on your cheeks. Your heart sped up, the possibility of him kissing you making your body buzz. Instead, he placed a small kiss on your forehead.

“Bye, Liam,” you said, pulling away from him, turning to walk towards the car, more tears brewing in your eyes.

“Y/N-“ he started, and when you turned to look at him, tears strolling down your face, he pursed his lips, “Take care.”

You smiled at him, nodding before climbing into the car. Your mother began driving away, you looked out the window as you watched your world fade away with each passing second.

For a few weeks, you had kept in contact, talking every night, but as activities started consuming both of you, your already short conversations became even shorter. Soon, it just turned into birthday texts. That’s how it was for a year after you moved, but it started to change, slowly, but change nonetheless.

You had been sitting in your bedroom, one you now shared with your mum and sister, working on an essay. In the middle of the third paragraph, your mother had excitedly called you, her voice an octave higher than it usually was. You had rushed into the living room, scared something had happened, but instead, you saw your best friend on screen, standing in front of the X-Factor judges once again. You sat down next to your mother, watching the TV in awe. A sense of pride had washed up in you, but you pushed it down, there was no way he was doing this for you. The judges began asking him the routine questions, who he was, yada yada.

“Why did you come back?” Simon asked, leaning forward on the table.

Liam smiled at the ground before looking back up, “I made a promise to someone,” and you saw one of the judge’s put a hand on her heart.

You melted. He really was doing this for you. That cheeky son of a bitch. You had raced to your phone, immediately opening his contact and sending him a text, not expecting a response anytime soon.

You heard his voice echo through the living room, a voice you loved dearly. You and your mother both began screaming in excitement when he got four yeses, although you had expected that. You glanced down at your text, maybe it was too random, maybe too arrogant.

Y/N: You kept your promise :)

Deciding that it was good enough, you set your phone aside. You settled back into the couch next to your mother. You watched a few more performers, quite a few of them were extremely talented, but none of them even compared to Liam, at least, from your perspective.

You went to bed that night, your essay completely forgotten. You were about to drift off, when your phone went off, your ringtone echoing through the small room.

“Ay! Could you at least turn the ringer off?” Mariana complained and you heard your mother grunt in agreement.

“Sorry,” you whispered, quickly turning the ringer off before looking at it. Liam had responded.

Liam: Of course, I always keep them

You smiled down at his message, tucking your lip into your mouth.

Y/N: I’m really proud of you, L

The response was almost instant.

Liam: Thank you, that really means a lot, I wish you were here with me though, it was cold without you :(

You felt a pout beginning to tug on your smile.

Y/N: I do too

That was the last text message you’d received from him for a couple more years.

Soon after that, he went on to become a part One Direction. You had sent him a few congratulatory texts, never receiving a response, but you didn’t care.

He was caught up in the rush, he was busy, you understood that. You watched him and the band work their way through the competition, getting a bit frustrated when they lost.

You still felt an overwhelming sense of pride fill you, that was your childhood best mate, smashing it.

About a year later, you were driving, on your way to your university dorm, and had the music on, blaring through your speakers.

You almost stopped the car when you heard Liam’s voice. You thought it was maybe a coincidence, but no one’s voice sounded like he did.

You felt a smile spread across your face, once you had finally reached your dorm, you pulled over, scrambling for your phone, sending another text to him.

Y/N: I just heard your song on the radio! Almost crashed the car! I’m so proud of you, bubs! I can’t wait until the album comes out!

You didn’t receive a response then either.

For the next few years, you had followed One Direction’s story, almost always being the first one to memorize a song, or buy an album. Yet, you hadn’t bought a concert ticket, you couldn’t afford it.

Liam’s success overwhelmed you, and you were just watching from the outside, so you couldn’t even imagine what it was like for them.

You had begun to worry he had forgotten about you, but you were proved wrong when the Story of My Life music video was released.

Mariana, now seventeen, had rushed to the kitchen, phone held tightly in her hand, she seemed out of breath.

“What’s up, Ana?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You’re not gonna believe this!” She exclaimed and shoved the phone in your face. The Story of My Life music video.

“Why are you showing me this?” You asked, watching as the song began playing out, Liam’s voice still giving you chills.

“Just watch!” She ordered and you turned your attention back to the screen.

The video was recreating a picture from each of the boys’ past. Liam’s part came up, and you smiled, looking at his family, his sisters grown now. He stepped away, picking up a picture frame, and you nearly dropped Mariana’s phone.

It was a photo of you.

Well, you and Liam. It was your first concert together, your parents made you take a picture together before you all went on the road. He’d been wearing the band’s shirt, and some black jeans. You had some skinny jeans and a nice blouse on, your face flushed and hair pulled back.

What you’d give to go back.

“Thank you for showing me, Ana,” you handed her the phone and left the room, not waiting to hear what she had to say.

You rushed to your phone once again, wanting to text him.You opened his contact, scrolling through the messages you had sent that hadn’t received responses. You bit your lip, turning your phone off and throwing it back on your bed.

If he wanted to know what you thought, he would’ve texted first. You were done chasing someone who didn’t care, at least, that’s what you thought.

You didn’t know that Liam had been on high-alert for several weeks following the release of that video, he was waiting for you.

A few months later, Liam finally decided to text you. You had been baking with Mariana, trying to make a cake for your mother’s birthday. Mariana didn’t know what she was doing. She had already dropped something fours times, smiling sheepishly after she did so.

Your phone had been playing music, mostly One Direction, and you both heard it vibrate. You had quickly wiped off your hands, giving Mariana a playful glare.

“Don’t break anything when I turn my back!” She rolled her eyes and got back to baking, much to your terror. You shook your head and picked up your phone, opening your messages.

It was Liam.

You almost didn’t read it. After all this time, now he wanted to talk? But you knew if you didn’t read it, you’d regret it. You hesitantly clicked on his contact, sucking in a short breath before reading his message.

Liam: Hey Y/N! It’s me! But you probably already know that! Anyways, I’m sorry I haven’t responded to you, I really want to explain, but I can’t do that over the phone, so, I have two backstage passes for you and Ana for our show in Paris, if you want them! Also, normal tickets are included, front row!

You set your phone down, running your hands over your face. Of course you wanted to go, and you knew Mariana would want to go too, but you were scared. You were scared that Liam had turned into the blonde bully from all those years ago, maybe he just wanted to shove it in your face. The Liam you knew wouldn’t do that, but you weren’t sure what to expect. You knew that fame changed people, and you were scared to find out how it had changed Liam.

Mariana sensed the tension, and leaned over your shoulder. She was eighteen now, a full adult. “What’s wrong?”

“Liam wants to talk, he got us backstage passes,” you grumbled and her face lit up.

“Really! That’s awesome! Why do you sound so upset?” She began talking her finger against the counter, a nervous habit of hers you had picked up on.

“Just a little scared s’all,” you mumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose.

She seemed to pick on it immediately, “Listen, I know you probably are scared about his attitude and stuff, but if he becomes a problem, not that I think he will, we’ll just leave! Simple!” She clapped, and you nodded.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right, now, tell him we’ll be there, and help me finish these cupcakes!”

That’s how you ended up here, front stage of a One Direction concert a week later, Mariana clutching your arm with one hand, holding a box of cupcakes in another.She had insisted on bringing them, claiming she was an expert now after having made them once. She looked gorgeous, as always. She was wearing simple jeans, but ones that fit her perfectly. The shirt had taken over an hour to pick, but she settled on a yellow crop top, with a little bee on it and the word kind written under it. She had a black and yellow bandana pushing back her hair.

You knew she’d dress up for Harry, she wouldn’t stop talking about him. She was bouncing up and down, trying her best not to shake the cupcakes. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, some lyrics, some nonsense. Meanwhile, you were watching Liam as he danced around the stage, waving at some fans as he sang. A sense of pride washed over you, he had really made it this far.

You had missed him, no doubt in your mind. None of the friends you had made since moving to Paris even amounted to him. You had tried going on dates, but nothing clicked for you, not like it did with Liam. It was stupid, you knew it was. You were young, you shouldn’t have compared everything to him, but you did anyway, no matter how hard you tried to avoid the thought of him.

He really was everywhere. Your house, decorated with pictures of the two of you, he was on the radio, he was on billboards, he was on magazines in the store, he was on your social media, everywhere. You couldn’t avoid him. Eventually, you just gave up on trying to stop your intrusive thoughts of him.

Now here you were, a place you had always hoped you’d be, but you’d never imagined that it’d be this big.

They were in between songs at the moment, Harry and Liam entertaining the crowd while the others set up. Liam was collecting stuff that fans were throwing on stage, modeling some of them, catwalk included. He walked towards you and Mariana, a tiara on his head. He waved and Mariana held up her box. His face lit up and he crouched at the edge of the stage.

He reached out for the box, nearly falling over. Mariana did her best to pass the box to him, leaning over the rail a bit to reach him.“Got it!” He yelled in triumph, opening the box to see the cupcakes, only a few of them remained intact. He laughed at them and turned back to both of you, “Thank you Y/N and Ana, I’m sure we’ll enjoy these,” he gestured to the cupcakes, and the crowd erupted in confusion, the boys all looked at Liam at once, more confused as the audience.

“What?” He asked, freezing when he saw everyone looking at them.

“Oh Payno,” Louis mumbled and cringed, looking away quickly.

Liam continued looking between the boys, still confused as to why they were staring at him. He locked eyes with Harry and they stared at each other for a few seconds.

Harry raised his eyebrows at him and sighed into the microphone, more of a laugh. “How the hell do you know their names?” He asked, laughing.

You saw Liam flush as he realized what he had done, “Ah,” he said, the audience roaring behind you, mostly questions. He cleared his throat and gave a nervous laugh, “Well, you see, uhm, Y/N’s my childhood best mate, I guess you could call it, and little Mariana here is her sister, well,” he laughed, looking quickly at Ana, “She isn’t that little anymore!” He threw his hands up, and laughter echoed through the stadium.

“Wait a minute mate, is this the Y/N who…” Louis trailed off, spinning his finger.

“Yes, yes that is this Y/N,” Liam rushed and you watched Louis begin to smirk.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled and you gave a polite smile back.

Why did he smirk? What had Liam told him?

The boys continued their show shortly after. Liam and Louis behaved themselves, well, as much as they usually did. But then I Should’ve Kissed You came on.

Every time Liam began singing, or the chorus came around, Louis would begin elbowing Liam, a shit-eating grin on his face as he nodded in your direction each time.

What the hell was happening?

Harry had kept walking back towards you guys for the rest of the concert, each time he would wink at Mariana. He was towards the edge of the stage during Kiss You, one of Mariana’s favorites from Take Me Home.

“You can get, get anything that you want,” Harry winked at Mariana again, grabbing his crotch as he shuffled past.

You looked over to see her reaction, she was biting her fucking lip. You slapped her shoulder lightly and she looked over at you, giving you an innocent pout.

“What was that for,” she yelled over the crowd.

“Are you really thinking about sleeping with him?” You said into her ear.

She grabbed your hand, “Let’s go to the bathroom quick!” You were about to protest, but she was already leading you into the aisle. She found the bathroom only about a minute after you left your seats, impressive for never having been in that arena. She ushered you into the unisex bathroom and quickly locked the door, turning to you with a satisfied smile.

“Now, no one will hear us,” she grinned and put the toilet seat lid down, taking a seat. “What were you saying earlier?”

“I asked if you were really thinking about sleeping with Harry,” you crossed your arms over your chest, deciding to lean against the sink.

“Okay, listen, if Harry fucking Styles wants me to ride his dick, I will not hesitate to do so,” she answered, quite confidently.

You scrunched your nose in disgust, “Ana, you’re only-“ she cut you off.

“I’m eighteen, Y/N, and I love you and everything, but this is my decision to make. I’m an adult now, whether you think so or not. If I want to sleep with Harry, I’m going to do it,” she said, no longer tapping on her legs, she wasn’t nervous.

“I know you’re right, I’m sorry,” you apologized, “I still just see you as my little sister who needed help making breakfast in the morning,” you admitted shyly.

She stood and opened her arms. You walked over and she wrapped you in a hug, “Don’t worry, I still need help making breakfast in the morning,” she mumbled in your ear, causing both of you to laugh.

“Let’s head back,” you said, grabbing her hand as she led you back to your seats.

The rest of the concert was fun, the songs combined with the boys’ chaotic energy really gave it it’s own special appeal, one you wouldn’t trade anything for. Next came the part you were the most nervous for. Time to talk to Liam.

The boys disappeared beneath the stage, girls beginning to pour out of the arena, several shoving you on the way out, you couldn’t help but feel as though it was intentional.

You and Mariana pulled your passes out of your bags, you didn’t want them stolen, so they were kept at the bottom below your jackets. You fidgeted with the pass, hesitantly slipping it over your head. Mariana was already admiring her pass, a small smile on her face. She was much more confident than she had been seven years ago, the last time Liam had seen her.

You were much more shy than the last time Liam had seen you, you became quieter and less demanding than you had been before.

Mariana practically skipped through the hallway leading you to security. She waited for you at the conveyor belt, setting her bag down in a bin. She turned to look back at you, a wide grin across her face. You came up behind her, setting your bag in a different bin, pushing it in when hers came out on the other side.

She stepped through the metal detector, collecting her things when she was cleared. You stepped through when the guard waved you in. You held your breath, an irrational anxiety creeping up your spine, this happened every time you went through security. After clearing the security guards, you were led backstage to the lounge area.

“The boys will be right out, they’re just changing,” the guard told you, walking away before he even finished his sentence.

“Let’s sit!” Mariana waved and sat on a leather couch against the wall. You sat down next to her and rubbed your hands on your thighs.

“Okay, listen,” Mariana turned her attention to you, completely serious. “If tonight doesn’t go well, just look at the bright side, one of us will get laid,” she nodded, and you chuckled. She sensed your nerves and put her hand on your knee. “But seriously, if tonight doesn’t go well, I’m willing to ditch with you.”

“You’d leave Harry fucking Styles for me?” You placed a hand on your chest, faking surprise, quoting her words from earlier.

“Definitely, but if you tell him I said that, I won’t hesitate to kill you,” she promised and you held your hands up in mock surrender.

“I would completely understand,” you nodded and she gave a low chuckle.

She was about to say something, but you heard five rowdy voices and footsteps coming from down the hall. You both immediately straightened your backs, Mariana touching up her lipstick as you adjusted your sleeve.

The boys walked through the door, Liam being the last one to enter. Harry was front and center, currently devouring one of Mariana’s cupcakes. You both stood, smiling at the boys. They walked towards you, Liam giving you a big bear hug, nearly knocking you over. He pulled away, giving Mariana a small hug and a pat on the back. Meanwhile, Louis was running his tongue along the inside of his bottom lip, looking between you and Liam.

Liam cleared his throat and pointed behind him, “Do you wanna go talk?” He asked, biting the inside of his cheek.Your breath caught in your throat, preventing you from talking, so you just nodded.

“Whatcha gunna talk about, mate?” Louis asked Liam, smirking at him.

Liam was about to answer, but Mariana answered for him, “Probably about how he’s been in love with her since they were fourteen,” she blurted.

The room was silent, just for a second. Louis let out a loud laugh, placing his hand on his stomach. Niall’s obvious laugh encompasses the room. Zayn smiled and shook his head, all while Harry was looking at your sister, with what looked like admiration in his eyes.

“This one,” he pointed to her, beaming, “I like this one, let’s keep her.”

“I would be completely fine with that,” she said, making Niall laugh even harder.

You finally came to your senses, “Mariana Kate!” You scolded, you rarely used her middle name.

She shrugged, “I’m just telling the truth.”

You sent her a playful glare, turning back to Liam, “Sorry about her, she’s a little horny, and when she’s horny, she’s brutally honest.” You heard her gasp as you said that, and seconds later, she had thrown a pillow at you, you held your hand out, preventing it from hitting you.

“Let’s just,” you pointed to the door, and Liam led you out of the room, both of you doing your best to ignore the cheers and catcalls coming from the boys and your sister. Liam led you to what you assumed was his dressing room. He opened the door for you, allowing you to go in first, ever the gentleman. You sat on a small futon, smiling fondly at the small mess in the room.

He began picking up the clothes, throwing them all in a corner, “Sorry, I’m sharing a room with Louis right now, we’re a bit messy,” he chuckled and you bit your lip.

“It’s fine, I like it, it makes you seem more human,” you admitted and he cringed.

“About what your sister said earlier-“ he started.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s horny and just wants to get in Harry’s pants,” you tried to excuse your behavior.

Liam snickered, shaking his head, “I assure you, Harry’s feelings are mutual,” this caused you both to giggle. “But I was going to say, she isn’t really wrong,” he looked you in the eyes, rubbing his hands together.

“What?” You asked, not quite believing what he was saying.

“I fell in love with you when we’re fourteen, and I never really stopped loving you,” his eyes never left yours.

No fucking way. He had loved you too, and he still did? You knew Liam was the one for you, no competition, but for him, there were millions of other girls who’d kill just to date him, and he wanted you?

“Did you write a song about me?” You quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

“Actually, yes,” which is the best answer.

“Oh really?” You asked, genuinely shocked. “Which one?”

He broke eye contact with you, looking down at his hands before looking back at you, “I Should’ve Kissed You,” he said, a small smile settling on his face.

“Is that about the day I left?” The pieces started coming together now.

He nodded, “You’re taking the news of someone being in love with you extremely well,” he teased.

“It makes it easier when you never stopped loving them either,” you confessed, and his whole face lit up, he shot out of his seat.

“Are you serious right now?” He questioned, frozen in place.

You stood, taking a few steps to be in front of him. “I don’t joke about this type of stuff, Liam.”

“Are you sure this isn’t just because of fame and money and stuff? Not that I think you’d do that, but I just never know,” he mumbled, bringing you back to the day you met him.

“Liam, I fell in love with the boy who was bullied and didn’t want anyone to know cause he was scared, I fell in love with the boy who would scream Mariah Carey lyrics with me, I fell in love with the boy who loves my family almost as much as I do, I fell in love with the boy who made me feel at home,” you placed your hands on either side of his face.

“I make you feel like home?” He asked, his voice a whisper. You nodded, tears sweeping up in your eyes.

“I don’t want to miss my chance again, can I kiss you this time?” He asked, his breath fanning your face, but you didn’t mind. Instead of answering, you wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him closer until his lips met yours. It was like your missing puzzle piece had finally been found, his lips moved perfectly with yours, your bodies molding together. It wasn’t desperate or needy, you both knew now, you had all the time in the world. You pulled away first, placing your forehead against his this time.

“N/N, can you make me a promise?” Liam asked, his hands on your waist.

“Of course, L,” you whispered.

“Promise me you won’t leave me this time, promise you’ll stay,” his voice lightly shook.

“I promise Liam.” And like Liam, you never break your promises.

Permanent Taglist: @everything-is-alrightt

#liam payne x reader #liam payne #liam payme #one direction x reader #one direction #louis tomlinson #harry styles #zayn mailk #niall horan #liam payne fanfiction #payno

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mysteryartisticwriter · 4 years

Text

Being Crowley’s daughter and dating Jack Kline would include...

Not my gif!! (Please tell me if you, the owner, would like me to take the gif down!)

Of course you were half demon, your mother was human but died when you were 10

You met the boys way back when you were a teen; maybe around 15 years old in season 8 or 9

You were half demon but your mom showed love, taught you to give it back and be kind

You were the ultimate princess of Hell duh

While the boys were hesitant around you, they eventually grew to love you

And ohhh...your dad always threatened them if you tagged along in hunts

“You let a monster lay one finger on my little bear’s head, and I will end you two.” “Daaaaaad….”

Rowena never admitted it, but she utterly loved and adored you. She thought of you as an apprentice since you sometimes practiced spells with her

During Kelly’s pregnancy with Jack, you became her protector as well as Jack’s

Kelly was also hesitant around you since you were half demon, she didn’t want you to maybe end up killing her and her baby or even using Jack as a weapon once he was born

Just like the Winchester brothers, she grew to care for you too. Kelly knew Jack liked you from the start because he always just happened to kick whenever you touched her stomach

You were there when your dad killed himself for the boys, Sam was the one holding you back

Your dad’s last glance at you was a small, simple smile. “Goodbye boys. Take care of my little bear.”

When he stabbed himself, you screamed so loud that Sam and Dean winced at the pain in your voice

When Cas died a little later, you were crying right next to Dean on the ground because he was practically an uncle to you just like Sam and Dean

You mourned for three people that night; your dad, Castiel and Kelly

You vowed to avenge your dad no matter what, you were angry and sad just like Dean for so long

You never went back to Hell and you were sure that you weren’t even the next ruler of Hell anyway, not that it mattered to you

When you guys found Jack, it was strange to see that he was actually your age

You barely talked to him, angry at him for what his father did to Cas and made your dad do

Soon, you slowly began to open up to Jack more and more because he was really one of the only people you could talk to

His innocence was actually kinda adorable, his questions about life were funny too

“(Y/n), what is this?” “That is a pair of headphones, Jack.”

You were still a little bitter towards him until you literally cried on his shoulder one night about how you felt

“I was too weak to save my father, to save Castiel and soon, maybe I’ll be too weak to save you and the boys.”

You half expected Jack to be a little angry at you but he was actually really kind and gentle about it

That was when you realized you were gaining feelings for the nephilim and you didn’t even bother denying it

Unknown to you, Jack was feeling the same way

Castiel coming back was amazing to you and Dean, your uncle came back from the dead!

“Two salty hunters, a half demon princess, one half angel kid, a guy who just back from the dead. Team Free Will 2.0, here we go.”

But the happiness didn’t last long when Jack ran away because he didn’t want to hurt anybody after he accidentally killed a man

Once you found him again, you almost slapped him and yelled at him

“How dare you leave like that?! Do you know how scared and worried I was for you?!”

That was when you had your first kiss with him

He was trying to calm you down but you just caved in and smashed your lips onto his own

Jack didn’t really know what to do but went along with it anyway since he really liked you too

Rescuing Jack and Mary (the Winchesters’ mother) from the other dimension was tiring but you did end up saving both of them later on

Seeing Lucifer again and Jack went off with him, you felt mildly betrayed and hurt

Lucifer tried to convince his son that you didn’t really love him, that you were just using him to get back at his father

Jack never bought it though, he knew you loved him more than anything

He felt so powerless without his grace, Jack was so tired and all he wanted to do was be with you again

When you were trapped in the church with Jack, Sam and Lucifer, you tried your best to kill the devil with your powers

“Poor little girl…left all alone by her daddy.” “Screw you.”

You felt so weak not being able to defeat Lucifer, so vulnerable and weak

Lucifer finally tired you three out and gave a small proposition; one of you dies by the archangel blade and the other two walks out alive

Sam gave you and Jack the blade and told you to kill him but you weren’t having it, so you took the blade from him and pressed it against your own stomach

“I love you, Jack. I love you both so much.” “(Y/n) no!”

Just before you could finish the job, Dean came in and began to fight Lucifer with Michael

Jack was holding you from collapsing becuse the blade had drawn some blood

“Why would you do that?” You smiled weakly at him. “Because I’m not letting either of you die for someone as worthless as me.”

The battle was won by Michael!Dean and finally after all these years, Lucifer was dead

The victory was short lived when Michael had taken full control over Dean and left

Dean was MIA for so long and Jack was feeling worthless without his powers, it was all so much

You, of course, comforted Jack about how he felt. He didn’t deserve to have his grace taken away by someone he thought cared about him

You were so scared when his illness was starting to take him over. Jack was dying and there was nothing you could do to help

When Jack died and went to Heaven, his own Heaven was with you and the boys until he (sadly) had to leave it to go to his mother’s

Jack brought you up to her, telling Kelly that he was in love with you to which she just smiled

“I’m in love with her, mom.” “I know, Jack. I know.”

Rowena was used as a suit for Michael and when he went to attack at the bunker, Jack killed him and gained his grace back….at the cost of burning his soul out

Soulless Jack was saddening to you, he was empty and wasn’t the same boy as before

You weren’t even sure he loved you anymore since he couldn’t feel anything at all

You set your feelings and concerns aside and continued to act the same as you normally would with Jack in your relationship, but it was never the same

After he killed Mary Winchester, you became much more worried about his condition and mildly scared at his actions

Jack being locked away by Sam and Dean was torture to you. Yes, he didn’t have a soul anymore but he was still the same boy you fell in love with. You missed him

When he escaped, God/Chuck came back and was the one who told you that you needed to kill Jack or it could be very dangerous

Instead of Dean, you were the one holding the gun to Jack’s head while he kneeled on the ground, ready to die

In the end, you couldn’t kill him. He was still Jack, he was still your everything and still the love of your life

But before you knew it, Chuck killed Jack himself and raised the souls from Hell

As you and the boys were trapped in the tomb with no way out, you sobbed and mourned over Jack’s dead body with his eyes burned out

The amount of anger you had for Belphegor when he had the audacity to use your boyfriend’s body as a vessel was only felt once for when your dad died

Sealing off the town was hard enough when you had a demon in your ass the whole damn time. Belphegor never left you alone

“Hey sweetheart...” “Belphegor, I am half demon and I will literally send you back to Hell no matter what.”

You went with Belphegor and Castiel down to the rupture in Hell in order to finally get rid of all the ghosts and souls

While down there, you found out that Belphegor was really planning on sucking up all the souls to be as powerful as God

You managed to get him down and punched him so many times that his lip was bleeding and his sunglasses came off, showing Jack’s full face

“Please (Y/n)...stop. It’s me...Jack.” “....You’re not him. And you’ll never be him.”

You killed Belphegor using your powers and needless to say, Dean was not very happy about going off-plan (which was stupid to you because you would’ve had to kill the demon anyway)

You had never felt so depressed and empty in all your life. Your mom and dad were dead, Rowena was dead because of the spell she had to use and Jack was dead as well. Everyone you ever loved was dead and you were just an empty shell of who you used to be

But when Jack was resurrected by Billie the Reaper, you felt the same way as Dean did when Cas came back

It wasn’t until you realized that he was the exact same as before, soulless. You couldn’t bare it, Jack didn’t love or care about anything anymore.

As much as you still loved him, you finally broke things off with him because no matter how much you tried to deny it, your old Jack was gone

When those hellhounds were after you all, Sam and Dean were the ones holding the doors shut while you, Jack, and Cas were in the main part of the chapel trying to activate the Occultum...until Jack swallowed it

“Where’s the Occultum?” “I ate it.” “YOU WHAT?”

Just before the hellhounds could maul the four of you to death, there was a bright light that killed them and Jack’s unconscious body appeared onto the floor

Later, Jack was found awake in the bunker’s kitchen, crying to himself and Cas told the rest of you that his soul has been restored

You couldn’t help but let a small tear escape your eye. Jack was so innocent and new to the world but already was introduced to so many horrible things within three years

You loved Jack, and you always would no matter what happens to him or you

A/N: Most of you might know about the BLM protests and the unjust murder of George Floyd but if you haven’t donated or signed any petitions yet, I would strongly suggest that you do! Black Lives Matter! I hear you and I stand with you.

Justice For George Floyd - https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd

TAGGED:

@shortwinchester

@coltcas

@urlaslongasafalloutboysongtitle

@irinazatyk

@meadow-melody

@eleventhdoctorsangel

@xsweetnsour

@gay-drian-cain

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pinkhairedlily · 3 years

Text

i'll be with you (but it'll be a different kind)

pairing: yoonkook/yoonjin | rating: G | ao3 read here

a short study on moving on

Yoongi broke the vinyl like he would a plate, a quaint awareness of a disaster but the quick denial of letting it fall – on the floor, in pieces. He swept each shard, vacuumed, and threw them in the bin. He crushed his music sheets and notes, thought better of it, and lit them with a scented candle.

Well, for fuck’s sake, the candle was his gift too.

So Yoongi walked to the collection area at three thirty in the morning, against the gusts of cold November wind, carrying all the evidence of the killer and the remains of its victim. He stood in front of the stack with an impulse to do something. Say a prayer? Curse them? Curse himself and bring them back to his apartment?

Ah, he wasn’t that stupid.

He truly wasn’t.

His stupidity was drained when he decided to fall in love with his roommate and friend that couldn’t be his in this lifetime.

So he came back to his home rid of everything Kim Seokjin owned and touched. Yes, even the bedsheets he washed yesterday.

“The couch it is.” He plopped down to its uncomfortable mattress and was immediately lulled not by the comfort of sleep but by the escape it offered.

He lost track of time in the next days… or probably weeks because the next time he went out for a walk to the mart, he was greeted by imposing Christmas decorations and too tall synthetic trees that wouldn’t look good in apartments that only housed one.

He came back, still alone, but at least joined now with ingredients for proper homemade food. He won’t be lonely on Christmas, not with two bottles of wine, a variety of seafood (which Namjoon hated the most, and Yoongi would order in the largest serving just to spite him), and his good old comfy socks.

He switched on the television to watch Melancholia, a fitting holiday movie in his honest opinion, and turned it up to the highest volume to tune out the looping Christmas carols outside his window and across the hallway where other occupants have rooms over to tide away the lonesome.

It was two thirty and two disaster films later that he heard the ghost of his broken heart.

It was one of the songs he wrote for Jin, the notes not at all the same, but the melody line was correctly embodied. He started up from his drunken stupor on the floor and trudged towards his kitchen sink where he dabbled his face in water.

It wasn’t the alcohol. So it certainly must be the crazy in him… well, until he realized the notes were coming from next door. The walls were thin anyway.

He nonchalantly knocked on the door of his neighbor, not caring at all if it was the devil’s hour, not when the tenant itself did not care about public disturbance.

It opened a crack wide enough for Yoongi to sweep the whole place up in seconds. Tidy floor, unmade bed, three monitors on a desk, neon lights, a christmas tree unabashedly decorated with the most frivolous pieces beside the dining table, and a guitar on top of it.

“Did I wake you?” He was taller than Yoongi, buffer, and very decorated like his Christmas tree. Daith, lobe, and eyebrow piercings, sleeve tattoos on his right arm, and shoulder-length electric blue hair tied in half-ponytail. But what caught his attention the most was the doe eyes that seemed too innocent, but Yoongi was familiar with the pretension that hovered on the surface. This boy knew pain enough to effectively cover it.

“That was my song,” Yoongi said in his usual deadpan delivery. He couldn’t get any cheerier than this.

John Doe perked up (if it could be any more possible). “Ah so you’re the one!” Then his expression immediately shifted to wariness. “Oh wait, you might be offended. I should apologize – “

“Some notes were mismatched, yes. Couldn’t be helped when you learned it by ear.” Yoongi looked at him for confirmation, and John Doe nodded enthusiastically. “But it’s all right. You played the piece so beautifully for someone who did not know it was a love letter.”

The way John Doe changed his smile to a thin line Yoongi knew at once that this was a person who simultaneously wore their heart on a sleeve but chained it before it could truly fall.

“Is it safe to assume the letter’s non-reciprocation when you haven’t played those songs for a month?”

“What else could there be?”

The neighbor bit the inside of his cheeks before answering, “Maybe you just didn’t need love letters anymore?”

Yoongi sighed. “Just keep it down. It’s three in the morning.”

“But it’s Christmas?” John Doe’s eyes suddenly widened. ��Oh my manners! Merry Christmas Sir!”

“I don’t believe in Santa Claus. Or Jesus. Or capitalist splurges.” Yoongi shoved his hands into his sweatpants. “I have marinara surplus. Do you want a plate?”

-----------------

When New Year rolled again, Yoongi knocked on his neighbor’s door. He slept with headphones in full volume, god be damned his hearing, on newly bought bedsheets that did not smell of Jin and pillows that did not have a strand of his hair. He really couldn’t turn down John Doe’s question of whether he could still play the cursed song or maybe he was two-bottles-of-wine-disoriented enough to put up a rather good argument why he shouldn’t.

“So will you cover your ears when you go to sleep?” John Doe asked after his second slurping of seafood marinara.

“Why should I?” Meanwhile, Yoongi surfed Netflix for his disaster anxiety fix.

“Try Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.” John Doe finished his plate clean. He let out a burp with an apologetic smile to his temporary Christmas host. “Well, I was wondering if I could still play the song. It’s yours anyway so you have all the rights.”

Yoongi’s eyes glazed over the first few seconds of the film, slightly amused at the insurance agent selling an apocalyptic package. “When music is released to the public, it never becomes the composer’s alone. It is also owned by the listener…and whatever they deem the music to be.”

“I’m Jeon Jungkook.”

“I just let you eat my food.”

“I’ll be your friend for the end of the world.”

A beat. “Fine. Min Yoongi.”

But it was a week of listening to ragged notes and misplaced sharps, and his (still) perfectionist ass wanted to right it.

“It’s open,” Jungkook yelled from what Yoongi presumed was his computer chair.

He sauntered inside with measured caution and watched his neighbor tick away in codes on three different screens. Yoongi silently slid the music sheets on a small free space on Jungkook’s desk.

“Software developer?”

“Not really. I’m a solutions specialist, the yes-boy,” Jungkook replied with a smug grin. He hit enter and the lines start to jumble together as he swiveled to face Yoongi. “You re-wrote your notes. You must be a producer or something.”

Yoongi clucks. “Close. A film composer.”

“Do you go to Hollywood?”

“I’m not made for performative limelight. The shadows are bright enough.”

“Cool. I want to make a film someday.”

“You have a day job.”

“Can’t a man have two dreams?”

“Touche. One can never have too many.”

“What’s yours then, Yoongi?”

“Just one but it won’t be mine.”

-----------------

March. Spring coming alive, and for the first time in months, Yoongi genuinely thought he was getting better and over him. Jeon Doe (maybe he’ll always call him this) was a light companion – not imposing, a bit fluttery, but steady in his essence. Perhaps it was the continuous wonder that ebb in his eyes or the utterly soft disregard of pain for something nonchalant.

On the eve of March 1st, he stroked again the keys of his piano, and Jungkook came into his unit and accompanied him with a guitar. It was an improvisation of chaotic notes in Yoongi’s head and by magic, Jungkook floated with that tornado. The contrast and the blend gave way to an unlikely partnership of melody and rhythm.

And on March 1st, Yoongi felt butterflies again when Jungkook joined him on the bench and giddily watched his fingers dance on white and black.

But on the second day of the month, the butterflies were replaced with quicksand.

Kim Seokjin called and wanted to meet. It was funny how in a moment of hesitancy, it was his heart who doubled and his feet that led. Their favorite bar, whiskey on the rocks for Jin, dry scotch for him, and an expanse of silence of between them.

“He’s too busy with production at the moment.” Jin downed his drink in one gulp. Yoongi didn’t even need to ask.

And I’m the only one who’s available. “At the moment is how many months?”

“For three months now.”

“You should break up.” An unsolicited advice Yoongi gave more than twice with not much success.

“If I was a music company, maybe he would do me,” Jin jested, holding the empty glass in his hand. “Should I buy one?”

“Buy his affections as well and monopolize them.” It was a banter Jin was used too and maybe by now, he should have known that Yoongi hid half-truths in them.

“They’re too intense for me alone. He’s always destined for the world.”

What could Yoongi do but surrender at the unspoken request of comfort. “There’s someone who treats you like you’re his whole world.”

“I wish I did too.”

Yoongi never had a sip of his scotch, but Jin’s languid kiss was enough to get drunk on. He lost the flutter and the lightness, and dove headfirst in heavy, steely waters. Yoongi missed the suffocating pressure and the sensation of bursting at the seams. If his heart would burst at this moment, it would shatter a hundred times more for the many touches and whispers to follow. He would gladly die in this misshapen illusion.

-----------------

“Your door was always locked,” Jungkook greeted a month after, carrying a big tub of fermented kimchi. “My dad dropped by to give me spares.”

Two weeks before this, Jin left in a hurry to go to the airport, saying Namjoon had been in an accident, and two weeks after, Yoongi never heard back from him.

He accepted the side dish from his neighbor, but nothing went past Jungkook. Realization was plain in his face, but he chose not to comment on it.

“Yoongi.”

“Hmm.” It was danger meeting Jungkook’s eyes so Yoongi kept his downcast.

“I told you before.”

“What?”

“That I’ll be your friend for the end of the world.”

Yoongi didn’t respond, and Jungkook took the cue to leave.

He repeated that same line later that night when he heard Yoongi trash his place, his bare arm catching the brunt of a baseball bat just before it landed on the piano keys.

“Why would you go so far?” Yoongi sneered, anger seeping through his controlled demeanor.

“Why would you go so far?” Jungkook cradled his arm like he cradled his pain. Like it was nothing. “It’s the end of the world.”

“I need a friend.”

-----------------

It was easier being with Jungkook – lighter, happier, with no care in the world. He was also honest in a straightforward, unassuming, and endearing way especially when those doe eyes of his were used to an advantage.

When he told Yoongi in the middle of Battle Royale, out of the blue, with no precedence whatsoever that “I don’t want to be just your friend”, it knocked the air out of the latter. And when Jungkook followed it with “You can use me, however you want”, Yoongi knew he had to get things sorted.

Lest he wants Jungkook trapped inside the vortex of unresolved feelings.

So Yoongi didn’t give him a tangible response. He just skidded closer to him on the couch and Jeon Doe took the cue to lay his head on the crook of his neck as another student was slashed to their death on the screen.

When credits rolled in, Yoongi dipped his head and found Jungkook already waiting with bated breath.

-----------------

“Ah, you found me.”

Jin was back in his penthouse in Seoul, alone with no Namjoon in tow.

“Am I a week early?” Yoongi asked.

“I just got in today.” True enough, unopened suitcases littered his living room. Too many suitcases for a vacation. “I’m relocating back. Is there such a thing?”

Yoongi went to one luggage and punched in the password Jin used when Namjoon and him got together, it did not open, so he tried another combination. Ah, only his birthdate. Yoongi packed the first of his clothes to cabinets he was all too familiar with. He went on with this rudimentary task with Jin at the kitchen, cooking up something for the two of them.

In a parallel universe, Yoongi would have been happily contented with this.

Tidied up, folded, and free, the two went through a simple steak and pasta dinner.

“We broke up.” He twirled his fork endlessly. “It hit me when I saw him go to an award show. I could never keep up with him, Yoongi, not when I’m taking a backseat while his dreams sit in the front.”

“Don’t be silly.”

Jin stared at him like he was betrayed.

“Don’t be silly,” Yoongi repeated, drawling each word. “Namjoon and his goals sit in another sports car while you drive a rundown secondhand.”

That made Jin laugh. “You’re merciless.” And then he grimaced. “I never felt this neglected. It was never this way when I was with you.”

“We’ve never had anything, Jin. You didn’t let me have anything,” Yoongi finished clean his pasta. He folded his napkin like a good guest and waited for Jin’s retort.

But he just sighed, defeated. “I destroyed what good we had. I’m afraid I also lost the friendship.”

“You know I can’t go back again to you.” Yoongi didn’t know if he threw a question or a statement.

“I saw it the instant you came through that door.” Jin put down his fork and trained his eyes on his best friend. “Happiness looks good on you.”

“You would have known already if you had just looked at me.”

Jin gave him a sad smile. “And it would have been the best sight had I tried harder.” He picked up again his fork, his lips pursed, his eyes brimming with tears. It was a foreign scene, Jin coming undone in front of him, not because of Namjoon, because of him. “So who is this guy?”

“I call him Jeon Doe.”

Jin kept brushing the side of his eyes while he twirled strands of noodles in his fork. When he opened his mouth to eat, tears brushed down his cheeks, breaking in rivulets as he chewed. “That’s a stupid name.”

Yoongi noticed the upwelling – the comeuppance of what was lost trying to mask itself as the crescent emotions. He knew it when Jungkook kissed him back that night, that he could never go back to this uncertainty. “And stupidly in love with me too.”

Jin continued to chew with salty tears. “I’m sorry, Yoongi.”

His hands clenched at the name that left his lips. “I got tired of being your placeholder. You couldn’t just leave and expect me to stay in one place. I also crack every time you touch me, and I shatter every time you go. I broke, Jin. I got torn apart, and I wasn’t sure whether I could still handle your overspilling love for someone else when I couldn’t even hold any for me.” Yoongi’s fingers stretched to touch the dam that escaped his friend’s eyes. “You must understand.”

“I’m sorry, Yoongi,” Jin repeated. “And I understand it. I get it now. I see it. It’s just overwhelming – this mountain of regrets and what-ifs and utter disregard I made for my own happiness.”

“I got in the crossfire.”

“A victim willing.”

“But not anymore.”

Jin shook his head. “No, not anymore.” He intertwined his fingers with Yoongi. “I hope it works out for you and Jeon Doe.”

Not a minute longer, Yoongi pulled away from Jin’s touch. “I hope you heal.”

-----------------

Jin saw them on the same piano bench, playing a duet in the middle of a wedding reception, hands flying about, touches fleeting but enthralling, releasing captivating, fluttery sounds – almost akin to freedom.

He was seeing now in full high-definition panorama the gravity of his consequences. He let go of his two great loves, one he loved with no fail, the other he took to fail.

And so he welcomed the splendor of pain. He had two great loves, and regardless of how they ended, they deserved a thorough journey of grief. He could only hope that at the end of it was what he saw in Yoongi.

Freedom.

#yoonkook #yoonjin #bts fanfic #bts fic #min yoongi #jeon jungkook #kim seokjin #mention of namjin #fic!pseudolily #fic!pinkhairedlily

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blacksurvivalnostalgichanges · 3 years

Text

immortal soul:black survival characters as dankpods

Adela:You’ve had a kitkat, right? But you haven’t lived until you’ve had a WW.

Adriana:Well, I guess we should plug it in and put Scarlet Fire on it.

Aiden:Oh, they’ve got Ninja- oh, sorry. Ninj a up.

Alex: (throws a batman mp3 player at a vaccum) Oh no! It broke on the first one! Wasn’t even a good throw, mate!

Arda:(touching the eye button repeatedly, text on the screen reading “MY EXISTENCE IS SUFFERING”)

Aya:(plugging a spongebob eye mp3 player into a speaker) Don’t you hurt her. Don’t you do it.

Barbara:(jiggles cheap headphones like castanets on a wire)

Bernice:It’s like.... Dad’s footy shorts... Cut into a case.

Camilo:My IPod’s trapped in the disco!

Cathy:”Do not overuse this earphone or put it under heavy pressure.” (holding a big rock) Hmmm.... I wonder what heavy pressure means?

Celine:Come on pukcells, you’re needed! Eh? I don’t just keep you around because of the name that I find funny for some reason.

Chiara:Is it any wonder no one bought you?

Chloe:This says “sound by AKG”! Why does it sound like it was made by OkayG?

Daniel:What an unusual perspective of this thing you have right now.

Echion:Chord, hit me up mate, I wanna try Hugo. Mainly because it’s called a Hugo.

Eleven: Oh, New Potato Technologies! How I love that you’re called New Potato Technologies!

Eva:I need instructions on how to take it apart, but it’s just like USE ANTI-GRAVITY AND JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN ON ITS OWN!

Emma:Warning:you’ve just wasted your money.

Fiora:I remember when Ipods had a quartered pizza for controls.

Hart:And we all know his theme song! Duhhh dabaruba di di daaa.... batmannn

Hyejin:(voice cracking) Oh, isn’t it- isn’t it lovely....

Hyunwoo:(stabbing plastic box) Give me my dog!

Isol(handling earphones through the Mojo) Ahahaha! It’s happened, everyone. Notice that awful buzzing stopped? The left one died. It’s gone.

Jackie: ‘Please keep away from children’? Keep away from everyone.

Jan:Has he morphed with his pants?

Jenny:(putting the earphones away) Yeah, okay. All right. All right. Yep. Now they work. Oh yeah. Oh yeah they work. Oh boy do they. So.

Johann: Look, it stands up for... reasons unknown to me, to be honest.

JP:(putting a headphone jack that was described as being for IPods into a Samsung Yepp) Haha, no one tell the police! Ooooooo!

Laura:(turns on a tablet with a shrek background, enters a photos app, and scrolls through superman, wonder woman, a bad wolverine cosplay, fat spiderman smoking sitting on the curb, and mike wazowski) Superheroes.

Lenox:Yeah, direct me there. How do I get from Adelaide to the middle of the ocean? Whaaat, I can’t cycle from there?!

Leon: “I appreciate those headphones you bought me, especially since it’s the only thing you’ve ever bought me” “That is true, I even made you buy your own clothes after birth”

Li Dailin:I mean, I really like it. It’s a piece of junk.

Luke: Oh no, it requires two AAAAAs!

Magnus:Racing attack? That’s just called traffic.

Mai:You can still buy... flip phones!!

Nadine: I don’t remember ducks having docks in their bellies!

Nathapon: ⁿᵃ ⁿᵒ

Nicky:(holding an MP3 player) It got karate-chopped at some point, i don’t remember that, I’m so sorry theo.

Rio:I bought a Dell MP3 dingus. [...] And only upon getting it did I realize the previous owner scribbled “iPod” on it. It’s like always being in the shadow of your older cousin or something.

Rosalio:Well, there’s only one way to know if it’s a real Nokia, mate. (uses the corner of one phone to hit the other’s screen, shattering it) The answer is no, mate.

Rozzi: (pointing at packaging) It includes everything you need! There’s no oxygen or food written there, so you know.

Shoichi: So you’re meant to “look after” it, and touch it and interact with it, otherwise it “gets mad” and does a bad job at your atxes or something. I don’t know, I’m just- I’m an adult now, so all I can think of is adult scenarios.

Silvia:(sniffs) Smells like the early 2000s.

Sissela: Ughh, this is hard to do while crippled.

Sua:(using Youtube on a flip phone) How do I search??

William:Silly box is wrong, mate. Americans don’t talk in metric, it should say “over 500 feet of music”.

Xiukai:Tutorial? Pfft. Like I need to learn how to play Crazy Eggs.

Yuki:It looks like a witch’s curse! Like they turned your best friend into a talisman that you have to wear all the time! You still hear him screaming in there!

Zahir:(uses a photo translator app to understand the text on a box) Oh good! Oh good- oh, there it is! So it’s tac 16, optopannahéhu, E! Cuhtepeodohyeckue.

#god whenever there's a new guy i need to add to this list i forget the alphabet #immortal soul incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #happy season start! good luck with early season hell! i know you all will need it!#realized they DID do that in time as expected once i tried to queue and it said server maintenance would start soon

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misskatieray · 3 years

Text

Fearless (Taylor’s Version): What It Means To Me

The day I bought this album, I could never have known how it was going to guide me, follow me, and change me.

1. Fearless:

A song that perfectly describes something I had not yet experienced at the time. And now, 12 years later, it reminds me of what it felt like falling in love at 17 with the man I now fall asleep next to every night.

These song lyrics were EVERYTHING to me at age 13, so much so that I made them my Facebook status about 5 times a day. They actually became the ice breaker for me and a boy I had a crush on (seen in the comments below), who later broke my heart and became a little more “Forever & Always.”

2. Fifteen:

Being 13 when this song came out gave me a lot to look forward to. When I turned 15, this song became my anthem. I started age 15 with a boy that said he loved me and entering high school. I ended 15 playing guitar and performing on my own. It was honestly one of the most formative years for me.

3. Love Story:

My mom, my best friend and the best human, was such a good sport about listening to me go on and on about my obsessions. T-Swift was one of the biggest. She fully invested herself into the things I loved. And while many young girls would be ~sooo~ embarrassed by it, I loved every second of it. She got the songs I would blare in the car stuck in her head, like Love Story.

4. Hey Stephen:

This was one of my favorites. I felt every lyric in my soul at age 14. And looking back, its funny how applicable this song became. I’ve been with the man I love for 8 years now, but we were only 17 when we first started dating. And he had multiple girls chasing after him, so he had some choices to make. But I wrote a song. And he heard the song. And I think that’s when he really understood how strongly I felt towards him. So the lyrics really came true for me...

“All those other girls, well they’re beautiful, but would they write a song for you?”

And now I live in Nashville with this man, chasing my dreams in country music. I even got to meet THE Stephen. My teenage self would be on cloud 9.

5. White Horse:

It’s been 12 years and I still can’t play this song on guitar. But I’m going to learn soon, I swear.

The lyrics “My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand” STUCK WITH ME. I had really only known how to express any negative emotions through fighting, something my early relationships reinforced. But this man, the man I love, helped me learn early on how real communication works. And it makes life with him so wonderful.

6. You Belong With Me:

OKAY, LISTEN. I first heard this song blaring from my CD player, alone in my room on a typical Tuesday night. The boy my heart ~ached~ for was dating someone else; someone that genuinely did not understand him the way I did.

“I’m in my room, it’s a typical Tuesday night. I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like.”

When that line played, I was FLOORED. IT WAS LIT-ERALLY ME. my 13 year old self was s h o o k. About 6 months later, this boy would realize he did belong with me. So this song has a special place in my heart. (More on that relationship in my coverage of “All Too Well.” Stay tuned.)

7. Breathe:

I first learned about the phrase “clean break” while reading Twilight (New Moon). So to this day, this song always reminds me of Twilight. And I was, of course, a Twilight fanatic in 2008. So I had this song on repeat.

8. Tell Me Why:

Remember “Fearless” guy? Well, he makes a comeback here, folks! Literally about 2 weeks after the Fearless statuses, he inspired some Tell Me Why statuses (please excuse the typo). Teenage love: burns bright, and burns fast.

9. You’re Not Sorry:

Some days, I sit down at the piano and just sing this song. Because it feels so damn good. This song has a piece of my heart, because it is so raw and well-written. I will never tire of it. I can’t wait for 2021 Taylor to absolutely slay it.

10. The Way I Loved You:

This song is so funny for me to listen to now. Because it was very accurate for teenage me. I had a 7th grade boyfriend who was sweet, and nice, and polite. But the spark was NOT there. Nope - instead, I wanted to be with the moody, cynical, mysterious guy. And I was only 13! So, I’d listen to this in my headphones on car rides and create music videos in my mind starring these two boys. I am so thankful I found my man at 17, because I’ve learned that the deepest love doesn’t need a roller coaster to be exciting and wonderful.

11. Forever & Always:

I am not emotionally able to handle this one. I felt ALL THE THINGS when this came out. It was sassy, it was emotional, it was savage, it was real. I was #TeamTaylor. And the PIANO VERSION??? I was never the same.

I’ll never forget my dad constantly asking me, “But WHY does it rain in his bedroom??”

“Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide, like a scared little boy?” - My relationship at age 14 was one that really impacted me for years. It was exactly what this verse implies - I had to watch every word I said, for fear he would run away. Because it felt like I would say ONE word out of line, and it was emotional chaos. This song really got me through the rough days during that.

12. The Best Day:

This song has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I recently played it on a Mother’s Day live stream I did, and I couldn’t get through it without crying. My mom is my best friend on this planet. When I felt like I had no one, I had her. And she’s supported everything in my life. There is absolutely no way I could ever thank her enough. And now she lives 900 miles away. When I need to cry about missing her and our car rides and our Netflix binging, I just listen to this song.

13. Change:

I wanted to print these lyrics out and put them in my locker freshman year. I had a good life: a good family, a couple close friends, stability. But I never really felt like I quite fit in at school. I didn’t feel like the people around me actually understood me at all. I had undiagnosed OCD and anxiety, and I knew I had dreams bigger than my suburban junior high could provide. But when I played this song, I felt inspired and hopeful.

And these things DID change. Hallelujah.

It’s the character development for me.

------------------------------------------------------

Honestly, I would not be who I am personally or musically without this album. Seeing the Fearless tour showed me everything I wanted in my music career. Having these songs gave me an outlet for all the crazy teenage emotions I didn’t know how to handle. It’s nostalgic to hear all these songs again, 12 years later. But even more than that: it’s a beautiful opportunity to see the growth we’ve all experienced in the past 12 years.

Head first, fearless.

(Catch me covering all 13 songs on my TikTok: @ katieraymusic )

#fearless #taylors version #taylor swift #fearless taylor’s version #fearless (taylor’s version)

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

What would you tell to your eighth grade self? Keep the friends you have. Also, stop hair spraying your bangs and making them stiff--it’s not cute.

What did your last text message read? “Thnx, and yes I got his text.” --My Nana.

Something you really want right now? Coffee and food.

Will you regret your next kiss? Uh, I hope not? Who knows when that will even be, though.

Do you like how things are going? No.

Are you a cuddler? Not really to be honest.

What are you doing tonight? Same stuff as always. My aunt ended up staying another night, but I think she’s going home tonight.

Three months ago, can you remember who you liked? I wasn’t interested in anyone 3 months ago. It’s been a few years, actually.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. We never were.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? I mean, I certainly didn’t envision wasting away after graduating college almost 6 years ago now.

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? No.

What color was the last pill you took? White.

Do you believe “drunken words are sober thoughts”? Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just nonsense.

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? My aunt. We’ve had a lot of deep conversations these past few days that she’s been staying with us. She and I are very close and she’s someone who easily opens up and shares a lot. I’m definitely more of the listener, but still.

Have you hung out with any guys recently? My brother.

How tall are you? About 5′4.

Who will you be with this Friday? Today is Friday and I’ll be with my family. As of now, my aunt is here as well but I think she’s going home tonight.

Last time you laughed really hard? I’ve laughed a lot these past few days with my aunt. More so than I have in awhile.

What are you currently listening to? Myself typing and my TV.

Who was the last person you had a face to face conversation with, apart from family? My doctor.

Have you ever wasted too much time on a guy/girl? I don’t consider it time wasted despite things not working out. What are you looking forward to? Right now, I’m thinking about eating lol.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope.

A lyric from the song you’re listening to? I’m not listening to music.

What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? We last bickered a bit about some stuff I was being stubborn about and should have been doing regarding health related things but I wasn’t.

Would you tattoo someone’s name on your body? No.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? Yes.

Do you bite your nails? I don’t bite them, but I pick them and use nail clippers constantly.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Zero.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, not at all.

How do you feel about your hair right now? Ugh. It’s a mess and in serious need of a dye job.

Whose hoodie did you wear last? My own.

Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? Nah.

Whose birthday is coming up? My brother’s was yesterday. Next up is my dad’s next month.

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I tried to be, but I couldn’t.

The doctors just told you that you are pregnant - what’s your first thought? They clearly mixed me up with someone else cause that’s impossible. There’s zero chance.

Who was the last person you hugged? My aunt.

Do you have any saved texts? all of my texts save unless i delete them. <<< Yeah, the phone just keeps them. I’ve never deleted any.

Anything you want to tell someone but can’t? Meh.

What’s the last thing you drank? Water.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? I don’t have friends.

Do you like pulp orange juice? I don’t like orange juice at all. Or any juice.

Do you prefer the tanning bed or sun? I don’t go tanning, but I’d just try to get one from the sun if I wanted to. I do get a tan whenever I go to the beach since I actually spend a significant amount of time outside when I go. That’s the only time.

Who was the last person you talked to last night? My aunt.

When was the last time you cried? About a week ago.

Where are your siblings? My younger brother is at work and I’m assuming my older brother is at home.

What about your mom and dad? My mom is here at home and my dad is at work.

Can you go in public looking like you do? Ew, no.

Would your parents care if you came home at 4am? No; I’m 31 years old. They’d be concerned, though. Especially since I never go anywhere or hang out with anyone anymore. If I was out that late it would definitely be unusual. However, I would have checked in to let let them know cause that’s how we are in my family.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? No.

What will you be doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

What’d you have for dinner last night? I had Wingstop.

Did you eat all of it? No, but a lot of it.

What temperature is it outside right now? 48F.

What color’s your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I’ve been dyeing it red. However, I’m a year overdo so my roots are quite overgrown and it’s like half and half now. :X

Do you like flowers? Sure.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up? Checked the time.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? It was likely tequila. I haven’t drank in 8 years, so I don’t really remember.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yes.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I’m sad I didn’t get to see Linkin Park with Chester. :(

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? Hmm. It’s been awhile, actually.

What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? I didn’t buy them, they were a gift, but they’re black.

How many people do you live with? Are these people related to you? 3 and yes, they’re my parents and brother.

Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? I’m not confident at all.

Do you wash your own clothes? No, I need help with that so my mom does it.

Are you afraid of thunderstorms? No, I like them.

What type of soups do you like? I’m a ramen gal, but broccoli and cheddar soup is pretty good.

Would you go 2 days without eating for $200? I’ve gone a day without eating and a couple or so days with very little food because I was sick or having appetite issues, which I have a lot. If I was feeling like that I could do it. But there’s times my body feels like it’s starving and acts all dramatic even if it hasn’t been long since I last ate, so in that case it would be really hard to do.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Not that I know of.

Can you cook? I can make a good bowl of ramen, ha.

Have you dated the person you texted last? Uh, no. That’s my Nana...

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? I’ve gone almost 10 years since the last time and when I did do it it wasn’t a regular thing, so yeah I think I could. I haven’t had any desire to do it.

When’s the last time someone made you feel like you mattered? My family does that.

Do graveyards thrill or terrify you? Neither.

What’s the next thing you have to do that you’re dreading? My next doctor appointment.

Do you ever wear polos? No.

Do you look pretty today? No. Not today or any day.

Are you going out of town soon? No.

Who was the last person to make you mad? My doctor.

Do you have nightmares often? No, thankfully.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope.

Will you be in a relationship in 50 days? No.

What happened last time you got drunk? I got really drunk and then threw up on myself in front of my friends and it was super embarrassing. My best friend at the time thankfully helped me clean up, but still. Ugh, it was awful. I was so sick that whole night and felt like shit the next day. I don’t know what happened that night because I honestly don’t remember drinking that much. I don’t know if I had a bad interaction with my medicine or what I did drink was really strong. I was completely turned off to alcohol after that, though, and haven’t drank since.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yeah, I don’t share drinks or food. Like, I’ll break off/cut/pour out what I’m eating and share that way, but I don’t let people bite off my food or use my utensil and vice versa.

Do you want to know the date of your death? Absolutely not.

Do you miss the way things used to be? I miss the way a lot of things used to be.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many times.

Do you like being called babe? Not really.

Is the last person you kissed more than 2 years older than you? No, he’s a year younger than me.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings, no.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you? No.

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you? Yes.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. I don’t see that happening anytime soon at all.

Were you happier 7 months ago or now? Neither then or now.

Have you ever just felt like you could cry an ocean? Yeppp.

Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes. I don’t plan on getting married, but even IF I did I would still want to see how things go living together first.

Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? My best friend is my mom, who is with my dad.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox? Mostly from my parents, especially my mom, but some from my brother, some from my Nana, some from my aunt, and some old ones from one of my cousins.

What time did you wake up today? I first fell asleep around 3AM, woke up at 530AM for a bit, fell asleep until like 730ish, and then fell asleep again until like 9 and I’ve been up ever since (it’s 10:27AM now). Sighhhh. I hate when I get up off and on like every hour or so like that and hardly get any sleep at all. I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep. :(

Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? Most definitely. I’ve changed a lot and not in a good way.

What were you doing at 4 am? Sleeping.

Do you reply to all of your texts? No, not all. It depends on the text. Not all need a reply or I just didn’t for whatever reason.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Bananas or chocolate.

What were you doing before you got on the computer? Sleeping.

What is the last thing you said out loud? Something to my aunt last night.

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back? Forward.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? Hand over the cash, please!

How bad are your hangovers? I had a few bad ones. The worst was definitely after the time I talked about earlier.

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? I’m fine with it during the day, but I wouldn’t be at night.

Do you have any bruises on you? I don’t think so.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I don’t know.

Is there anything in your room that reminds you of the past memories? Uh, yeah. Like everything.

How do you respond to being nervous? I get very fidgety and squirmy and anxious. I mess with my nails, I bite my lips, I play with my hair, twiddle my thumbs. My heart rate goes up. I have a hard time breathing. My stomach feels like its in knots. I sweat. ...not a fun time.

Who is the most recent addition to your contacts? I don’t even recall the last time I added a new contact.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? My mom has a purple heart.

Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor.

Have you ever thrown a cell phone in anger? No.

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you? I’m not wearing one.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Haaaa, no.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with an A? Nope.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk about? My mom when she called the other day to see if I wanted her to stop by somewhere on her way home to get me something to eat.

Do you have tan lines? No.

How are you feeling? Right now I’m tired and hungry. I also feel kind of sick cause I took my medicine on an empty stomach, which bothers me more sometimes than others. Today seems to be one of those times. :/

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to ASMR and scrolled through Tumblr.

Ever feel like you’re not good enough? Many times. It’s been a constant feeling these past few years.

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? Yeah.

How many funerals have you been to? Three.

Movies or bowling? Movies.

At the beginning of September who were you "with"? I was single.

Is there a girl you can tell anything to? I could, yes.

What do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph.

Do you dye your hair? I get it done at the salon.

If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? I’d have to pay off my debt first and foremost.

Something you really want right now? I should drag myself outta bed and try to eat something.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with the person you like or best friend? My best friend, which is my mom.

What color shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a black sweatshirt.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip piercing? No.

Has anyone told you they were in love with you? My first boyfriend (and technically only).

Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit? Noooo. I have a hard time with even my own.

Name a time you thought you were going to die? During my last surgery my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and the doctors freaked out.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? No, not always.

Have you ever kissed a blue-eyed person? Yes.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

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