Demolition Lovers Part 6 Sebastian x Farmer Stardew Valley Fanfic
(Chapter 6 is here finally. Chapter 7 will be here soon. Credit to Heir of atticus for the photo used. Like and follow for updates on the story. More to come. Please enjoy.)
"(farmers name) Wait Please!" Sebastian yelled.
"Good bye Sebastian. I'll see you around..." You left and walked home.
Once home you went directly into your farm house. You locked your door and went into your bedroom. You flopped down on your bed and threw off your bunny ears. You let out loud sigh and just closed your eyes. Tomorrow would be new day right. Right??
You woke up bright early. Like clock work went to work on the farm. You spent the last couple of days just doing the same routine. Fishing and mining. You had really only one thing planned. Just make that money. You decided you'd head into town square to go see Clint for a little bit. Not that you liked Clint. You kinda found him annoying with all the self depreciating jokes he makes constantly. He was rude to you too. You honestly couldnt decide who annoyed you more Clint or Lewis or Abby. You sighed as you started walking through town square.
"Hey (farmers name)!" Alex was calling for you.
You turned around and walked over to him.
"Hey Alex..." You waved at him.
"Whats up? How you been?" He smiled staring at you.
"I've been fine. Just been working making money." You said.
"Yeah I bet busy with the farm. Do you have plans today?" He asked.
"I need to see Clint today... But I should be free after." You replied.
"Oh great. Want to hang out today after your done?" He grinned.
"Sure.. Let me go see Clint. Bye Alex I'll see you soon." You waved bye and walked to Clints shop.
You went inside and Clint was waiting there at the counter.
"Oh hi (farmers name)." He said quietly.
"Hi Clint.." You sighed.
"Don't you have work to do?" He glared at you.
"Just crack these geodes." You huffed handing them to him.
He started cracking them and you waited patiently for him to finish. He handed you all the crystals inside them. You waved bye and left. You went back over to Alex's house. He was outside standing next to dog house fenced in.
"Hey Alex... Im back.." You waved approaching him.
"Welcome back beautiful." He smiled waving.
"Why are you by this dog house? Is this your dog?" You asked walking over beside him.
"No he's the towns dog. I like to take care of him though. His name is Dusty. He's really sweet." Alex smiled wrapping an arm around you.
"Oh... thats nice of you..." You said slowly taking his arm off of you.
"Yeah.. he reminds me of myself.. You want to go eat?" He asked winking at you.
"Sure..."
You were unsure about him. Mixed feelings to say the least. You followed Alex to the Saloon. He sat down in the booth and you sat down across from him. Gus walked over to you both.
"Good afternoon Alex and (farmers name). What can I get for you?" Gus asked smiling eyeing you both.
Before you could even say something Alex responded.
"Yes I'll have the Salmon Dinner and (farmers name) will have the vegetable salad." Alex grinned.
"Wonderful I'll get that in for Alex. You two enjoy." Gus smiled walking away.
"Uhh... why did you just order for me?" You asked blankly looking at him.
"Yeah a gentleman should order for you. Sebastian wouldn't know anything about that. Hes a freak." Alex said blankly staring back at you.
"Uhh.. no he's not. I can order for myself. What if I don't like salads. You're just gonna assume I like that. Just like how you assume Sebastian is a freak. Have you ever just tried to talk to him?" You asked glaring at him.
"Of course not. Why would I talk to him? He's boring and weird. He lives in the basement like vampire." Alex huffed.
"God.. You're just like every other man. I can-" You were cut off by Gus coming over.
"Here we are the Salmon Dinner for you Alex. And a vegetable garden salad for you (farmers name). Enjoy please." Gus smiled.
"Uh thank you Gus but-" Alex interrupted you.
"She wanted to know if she could get more salad dressing." Alex said.
"Of course. I'll be back." Gus smiled walking away.
"Alex stop inter-" He cut you off again.
"Relax. Just enjoy your food baby." He smiled eating.
"Okay... Wow... I'm done." You hissed.
"Shut the fuck up and eat." He hissed.
"Fuck you. It's already annoying as fuck Sebastian cuts me off. I can't deal with someone else doing to me." You hissed standing up.
"You will sit down and enjoy your salad." He demanded.
"Here you want it so bad. Fuck you Alex. Bye." You said throwing the salad on him and walking out of Saloon.
You were upset and walking not paying attention. You started to make your way down to the beach.
"(Farmers name)! Wait!" Someone called out after you.
"I said I was fucking done Alex." You yelled back till they grabbed you.
"I'm not Alex.." Sam was looking at you smiling faintly.
"Oh my God. Sam I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you." You said apologizing to him.
"Hey its all good (farmers name). What were you doing with Alex? How come you weren't with Seb? What's going on with you and Seb anyway? Not to be nosey... well I'm being nosey. You don't have to tell me anything haha." Sam stuttered.
"Sam... It's okay. I don't know what I was doing with Alex... I'm mad with Sebastian... I don't know what to do Sam.... I like him... but he makes me so mad sometimes... he's difficult to deal with... but I really like him.... like really really like... And Abby... guh she won't leave me alone... Sebastian does things with her and won't tell me... I don't know if I can trust him.... I shouldn't be telling you this... sorry Sam..." You were rambling and stuttering.
"Hey hey hey calm down (farmers name). Everything is going to be okay. I said it before but Abby has had a crush on Sebastian for like ever. She really likes him. I don't know why she's obsessed but she is. She's told me. I don't know how to help you with her. She gets mad very easily. And as for Sebastian. He's tough character to love. He's stubborn and loyal. But his stubbornness gets the best of him. Sometimes space from him helps. I know you like him. But I'm sure you're mad because he said something stupid. He says a lot of stupid things. But if you show him he was wrong and how it made you feel he'll understand. Anyway it's getting late. Let me walk you home." Sam explained smiling.
"Yeah. Thank you Sam." You smiled following after him.
You both walked back home to farm house in silence. Once you got there he stopped and looked at you.
"Hey... He likes you too... you know. He talks about you alot. I think he really really likes you too." Sam smiled and waved bye to you.
You waved back to him and walked inside the farm house. You sighed and got into bed. You closed your eyes and went to sleep. It was now 2 days till the flower dance. You woke up at 6:00 am and went outside to water your crops and feed the chickens. After you were done watering your crops you went into town. You checked the bulletin board and saw Sebastian had put a request in. He wanted 10 rocks for something. You rolled your eyes and started making your way up the mountain.
Demetrius was outside again watering the plants when you got there.
"Oh hello (farmers name). You're not here for Sebastian right?" He asked glaring at you.
"Uhh... actually I am..." You said blankly.
"You could do better you know." He said just staring at you.
"We're just friends.." You said.
"You could still do so much better." He huffed.
"Why do you hate him so much? Yeah he's annoying but why?" You huffed.
"He's useless. And-" You cut him off.
"Enough. I don't want to hear your sad excuses. You should be respecting him." You glared at him.
"Do not talk to me about re-" Demetrius was cut off again but by Sebastian.
"Why the fuck are you here (farmers name)?" Sebastian hissed coming out the door behind Demetrius.
"I'm here... to drop off your bulletin board order." Your eyes met his rage filled eyes.
"I'm just gonna... go." Demetrius said walking away quickly.
"Well.. do you want it or not?" You crossed your arms glaring at him.
"Yeah fine... thanks I guess.." He huffed standing in front of you.
"Whatever. You're a fucking asshole." You were talking with your hands.
"Yeah whatever... I don't have time for this..." He said huffing and turning away.
"Fuck.... You... Sebastian... I don't fucking have time for you either!" You hissed flipping him off and started walking away.
"Yeah whatever... fucking walk away bitch.." He hissed strolling up the mountain.
You felt your eye twitch when he said bitch. You whipped back around picked up a rock and threw it at him. It hit him in the head. He whipped around and glared at you.
"Really?" He asked glaring at you.
You marched up to him and pushed him.
"Fuck you." You huffed feeling your eyes tear up a bit.
""Stop... (farmers name).." He grabbed you and pulled you close to him.
"No... Sebastian... I'm upset with you..." Your eyes met his. He put his hands on your face gently.
"I know... I'm mad at you too..." He huffed. His face was close to yours. Your heart and mind were racing.
"No you don't get to be mad at me... You embarrassed me... You don't want to dance with me... You hang out with Abby and then lie about it to me... How can I trust you.. You're a hard man to love... You never tell me what exactly you want... I can't believe I was dumb enough to hang out with Alex today because I am mad at you... I.." You were rambling.
"Wait.... what the fuck you mean you hung out with Alex?" Sebastian eyes flickered with anger.
"I... uhh.." You tried looking away from him but he pulled your face to look back at him.
"Answer me." His eyes were fixated on you.
"Don't do that to me." You hissed.
"I said answer me." His voice was stern.
"You left me.. what the fuck was I supposed to think. I didn't think we'd talk anymore." You tried pleading with him.
"So you go out with that scum bag. Smooth.." He hissed.
"Yeah I did.. But I left asshole. Believe or not but when he started calling you a freak I lost it and left." You huffed.
"Right... sure you did. Why would you do that if I'm just an asshole to you." He looked away from you.
"I never said that... Sebastian... I like you a lot please..." You grabbed his face making him look at you.
"Then why call me it all the time?" His eyes met yours.
"I'm sorry... I'll stop... But you need to stop the arguing and yelling at me. I'm trying Sebastian I really am. I would like to go with you to the flower dance." You said eyeing him.
"Okay.. I'll try to be more calm. You will NEVER see Alex again. We will be going to the flower dance together. I've missed you (farmers name)." He moved his lips closer to yours.
"Great... so it's a date now. I've missed you more." You said wrapping your arms around him playing with his hair.
"Perfect... I'll pick you up at 8:00 am. Look beautiful." He smirked.
"Oh do I not look beautiful everyday?" You asked raising an eye brow. You felt his arms wrap around your waist.
"You look perfect and beautiful everyday. But you don't need me to tell you that." He grinned.
Your heart was racing. He smelled so good. All you could smell was him. It was so intoxicating. His eyes looked perfect. You were so close to him. Your lips were so close to his.
"(farmers name).." Sebastian said taking a deep breath brushing your cheek with his thumb.
"Sebastian..." You whispered slowly.
"Will..." To be continued...
11 notes
·
View notes
Six of Crows re-read
(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)
spoiler alert obiously
i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)
JOOST HI
oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey
so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared
i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok
joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood
anyone wanna teach us how to???
i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..
but i won't don't worry
(won't I?
"I think Yuri may be quarantined"
aaaand?
so are we you are not special
i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first
and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro
Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio
Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores
for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)
say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af
another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"
(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf
i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter
anya is super badass tho
skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej
Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
KAZ
INEJ
I MISSED THEM
omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING
we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice
ok moving on!
now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias
hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!
AAAAA
AAAAAAAAAA
JESPER FAHEY
JESPER LOVE HI
SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF
I MISSED HIM OMG
OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT
can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?
i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen
he´s such a nerd
i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets
AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG
picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns
Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."
"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."
ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s
honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)
nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means
in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass
no hate tho i like the dregs
but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever
and it said "the dregs"
which in the translator means something like shit or something
anways moving on:
If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy
i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now
imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people
cute
"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty
"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".
YES
YESSS
i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))
i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov
the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((
Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.
ma'am
marry me please
i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg
me simp
That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.
idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper
it makes me soft
But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.
underrated saying from Inej's father right there
"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"
"You're a thief, Kaz."
"Isn't that what I just said?"
i-
i see no lies here
not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)
jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity
Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"
"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.
he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)
hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it
i would've been mad too
"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"
KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS
this is one of the best quotes in the book by far
YASSS KAZ POV
Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.
cute
but kaz is petty af
he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!
i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready
i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs
idk why but it's so good
And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.
wonder what that could be!!! /s
He grinned at her (...)
"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.
KANEJ YESS
HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG
this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered
"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."
YES WYLAN OMG
One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder
happens to the best of us :/
"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"
if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot
agreed?
it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang
NINA'S POV YESSS HIII
nina and inej omg
their friendship is just perfect
POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES
i would straight up cry
Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her
i'm gonna cry damn it
this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed
jesper has adhd part 2:
"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy
"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)
"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch
the time blindness come one
(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)
i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly
its so unnecessary lmao
yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan
and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao
as he should
"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina
"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"
THESE TWO OMG
JESPER IS THE LOML
INEJ OMG LOOK:
She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones
(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.
i-
that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch
AAAAAAA
PEOPLE
PEOPLE
TIME TO FREAK OUT
WYLAN IS HERE
AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE
ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:
"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.
ok first of all: stimming
second of all: hyperactivity
i rest my case
ok 2 or 3 things here
"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"
"Raske is better," Inej said
The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"
"He knows his trade"
"So do I"
ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej
2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF
2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af
3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself
like i wish i could do that
i would be crying like a bitch
AAAAAAAA
"Meet Wylan Van Eck"
KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL
HI WYLAN BABY
YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW
I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov
Jesper stared at Wylan
do i sense some wesper?????
ok everyone is being so mean to him right now
they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit
poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read
it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now
"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."
(...)
"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"
GET READY
ARE Y'ALL READY?
OK THEN:
"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.
She nodded. "Definetly."
THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG
AND THIS QUOTE
I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US
"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)
"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?
"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.
"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.
"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.
"You're all horrible," said Matthias.
tag yourself i'm jesper
KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company
and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????
AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)
AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS
ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up
idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter
but stiiiiiil
LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ
nice try
demjin
*insert spongebob voice* demjin
WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA
BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T
The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.
*ugly crying*
Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.
*uglier crying*
TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME
jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):
That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.
do i really need to explain this?
ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much
i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"
like sir
have you seen yourself?
you're tall af
HE GOT SHOT
WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE
"Close your eyes!"
"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"
"Just do it!"
i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES
YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS
inej just stabed some guy int the d
good for her!
KAZ YESSSS HI
AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE
KANEJ FOR LIFE
oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)
my Wraith omggg
ok 3 things about this:
Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.
"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)
Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."
"It's not right-"
"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"
1. wesper yasssss
2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him
3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad
he's brave and a good person and i just-
"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.
"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him
this had no right being so funny
AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T
nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong
unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it
like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya
jesper has adhd part ??:
Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions
hyperactivity right there
and restlessness
"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)
"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)
this conversation must be so stressful to him omg
LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY
AND HE SHAVED HIM
ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid
like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?
AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)
and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????
the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM
THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY
i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now
it's because theya re idiots
"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"
wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad
Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."
Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."
"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.
i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom
jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX
"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."
i love this because it happen when they had just met
he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)
Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)
"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."
I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN
and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad
"And you don't belong here, either."
"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"
"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"
He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."
Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"
DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM
also
"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."
"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)
aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding
Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.
ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd
wesper
aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him
"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."
Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"
LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there
(and i can see why people ship them romantically)
STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)
Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters
"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."
should i kill him? anyone want to join me?
Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)
"You're too good for him, you know?"
"I know. So are you"
jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy
Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.
jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore
this chapter is full of kanej i love it
"What do you want, then"
You, Inej. You forever.
jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf
kaz's backstory makes me sad
"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)
"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."
Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."
"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.
JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS
i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg
"It's not natural for women to fight."
"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."
QUEEN
YOU TELL HIM
oh no the dead grisha
this part breaks my heart every time
"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"
.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here
anyways acab
stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it
and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry
and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them
"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"
..........
i'm gonna leave this here again
do with it what you will
"Don't mock what you don't understand."
"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"
i- this conversation is so important
AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM
WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT
INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO
THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)
Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."
Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"
YES BABY YOU DID GREAT
kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy
but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect
"Remeber our friend Mark?"
HELP I CAN'T
"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"
The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."
once again jesper and kaz being besties
unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other
the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled
"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."
DAMN
ma'am marry me please
kaz fainted damn poor boy
unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone
like you can tell leigh improved so much
her characters are better and their arcs are better developed
the writing itself it's better
or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved
INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON
I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH
Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.
Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"
inej is smart af
Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.
ok i got a couple of things to say about this part
first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time
i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough
an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)
and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).
and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough
one more thing and i'm done i promise
unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz
ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs
oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have
"My father used to take me everywhere with him"
this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit
it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck
"You're cuter when you're smart"
(...)
"Definitely cuter when you're smart"
wesper yesssss
i love them so much
ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals
and he was going to the university at like 15
AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR
amazing plot twist
also:
Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.
oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush
and you love him
who said that? definitely not me, nope
awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute
imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist
cute
Better terrible truths than kind lies
just leaving here more of inej's wisdom
ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???
Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)
"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."
Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"
a bad working memory? sounds familiar
kaz loves puzzles
it's canon
"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."
this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time
I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?
this makes me want to cry so much
another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them
"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"
"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."
"We could wake them up"
WYLAN
NO
damn the boy needs therapy
it's amazing how nothing went like they planned
not a single thing
PEOPLE GET READY
ARE YOU READY?
NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES
"What do you like?"
"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."
ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it
"If only you could talk to girls in equations."
There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"
Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.
wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me
this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that
btw i love the slow burn
like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck
i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"
like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters
matthias fake betrayal killed me
i tought it was real
I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.
this is just-
also foreshadowing?
YAYY KUWEI HI
There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.
She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.
if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it
He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her
THIS
THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE
they are the only straight couple that matters
everyone else go home
Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.
so cute omg
"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"
KAZ
i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it
KAZ IS SMILING OMG
EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME
HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM
"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"
"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"
this part breaks my heart and i love it
"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"
"And after," he said. "And always."
i just- helnik is perfect
AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN
my daily dosis of wesper :)
ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him
Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)
Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.
*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???
btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK
this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why
I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW
"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."
YES TELL HIM
the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg
"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.
SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF
THAT IDIOT
I HATE HIM SO MUCH
I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME
Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.
YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT
JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW
"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"
"Not as a rule"
Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"
"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.
THIS WAS PERFECT
THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT
(...), and Jesper flinched
baby he recognized wylan's voice
The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"
BITCH THIS IS AMAZING
THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM
AND HE WON THE BET
A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.
i love it when they compliment him
my boy deserves all the compliments ever
AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS
Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read
this is taking me to some real places
i may cry you've been warned
WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI
this is making me cry
"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."
EXACTLY
YOU TELL HIM WYLAN
Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.
BABY
i would've done the same tho she's pretty
amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out
Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"
nothing to say here except: wesper
You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"
"Every time."
i want to cry so bad
"Why does it matter?"
"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."
a very staright and platonic thing to say of course
i know jes we all liked his stupid face
"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."
YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND
And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little
even kaz know they like each other come on
Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.
wylan give him a hug fro me please
he needs it
"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.
"Definitely," agreed Wylan.
i miss inej already
And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.
i'm ugly crying and so what?
and now we're done....
i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy
79 notes
·
View notes
all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:
romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10
honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10
vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10
drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10
sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10
halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10
turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10
monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10
best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10
cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10
demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10
helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10
give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10
to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone
prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward
i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10
ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10
jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10
interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)
venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10
hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10
deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10
cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10
never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10
desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10
the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10
dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10
how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10
sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10
wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10
i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10
house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10
cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10
mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point
sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10
teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10
disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10
famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10
blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10
kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10
heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10
my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10
astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10
desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10
common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10
emily: NO!!!! -50000/10
party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10
not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10
all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10
jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10
na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10
bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10
sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score
planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10
the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10
party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10
save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10
s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10
summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10
destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way
kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10
vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10
we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10
black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10
f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10
mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10
boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10
tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10
ambulance: no. 0/10
gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10
the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10
the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10
kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10
make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10
surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10
burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10
fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU
2K notes
·
View notes