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bosbas · 16 days

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Chapter 6: in a world of boys he's a gentleman

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pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 4.2k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, Eloise being the best, Colin finally having brain cell(s), but then very quickly losing aforementioned brain cells

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

May 30, 1816 – One week has passed since the unfortunate revelation of Lord Barlow’s true nature, and Lady Y/N Montclair has yet to make an appearance at a ball. Could it be that the Duke’s betrayal has left her too disillusioned? Perhaps the eligible gentlemen of London have failed to meet her exacting standards. One can't help but wonder if Lady Y/N be present at tonight’s ball, where the ton's most eligible bachelors will undoubtedly be vying for her attention now that she is decidedly searching for a new suitor. Who among them shall be lucky enough to capture her attention? This author does not know, but hopefully, this evening reveals more of Lady Montclair’s intentions.

Colin was grinding his teeth, his right eye twitching slightly as he glared at Eloise, with whom he had been arguing for the better part of the last hour.

“It’s not like I haven’t tried to be agreeable! She’s just impossible,” he ground out.

Colin was about finished with having to face criticism from his sister when you were the one who had ignored his attempt at a truce.

“It certainly doesn’t help that you rile her up every single time you see her. She’s trying to find a husband, mind you!” Eloise shouted back.

She had grown quite close to you in the past weeks, and she knew the kind of pressure you were under tonight. It was your first ball after finding out the Duke had sneaked away from the Bridgerton ball with Miss Barrington, and your full focus would be on finding a new suitor. Eloise generally preferred to stay out of your neverending conflict with Colin, but she knew he would never understand what you were going through. The very least she could do was ensure that he acted decently toward you, though it seemed like even that would prove a challenge.

“Exactly! I was the one who wanted to warn her about Lord Barlow’s betrayal, and now she thinks I’m the one who gave him access to our courtyard,” snapped Colin.

He couldn’t believe Eloise. How could she not see that you were one of the most infuriating, unpleasant, and insolent people in the ton? Why was she so intent on defending you? Colin was irritated beyond belief, and he wanted nothing more than to never speak with you again after the horse races. You had promptly ignored him after accusing him of orchestrating Lord Barlow and Miss Barrington’s escapade, and he spent the rest of the afternoon angrily stealing glances at you as you chatted pleasantly with his sister.

And to learn that you still wanted to find a husband? You could become a spinster, for all he cared. And he didn’t. He didn’t care. About you or about Lord Barlow, or frankly, about anything that had transpired since the Bridgerton ball. All he knew was that tonight, he would be forced to watch you bat your eyelashes and giggle softly as you talked to countless men when all he got from you were angry stares and sarcastic laughs.

“She’s the one who doesn’t want to be on good terms with me,” he added stubbornly, crossing his arms.

Eloise let out an exasperated groan and rolled her eyes. “Colin! Can you not find it in yourself to set aside your dislike for her and understand that she is an unmarried lady who just lost a titled man she was practically guaranteed to marry? She is in a precarious situation, not to mention feeling heartbroken and betrayed.”

In truth, Colin thought, he didn’t understand. He couldn’t even begin to. He had never faced that kind of pressure before, certainly not about something as trivial as marriage, and suddenly he felt guilty for wanting to spend the entire evening tormenting you so he could avoid watching you amass suitors.

Sensing that her words had struck a nerve, Eloise took advantage of her brother’s waning resolve. “You are Colin Bridgerton, Mayfair’s sweetheart! I don’t understand why you can’t act that way with her.”

“She doesn’t want that! She doesn’t want me!” Colin yelled, pinching the bridge of his nose as he screwed his eyes shut in frustration.

But Eloise didn’t let up. “I’ll wager she wants that tonight. You don’t need to kiss the ground she walks on. Just be civil and refrain from any ungentlemanly conduct. It’s her first ball since the Lord Barlow scandal, and she doesn’t need to look bad in front of a crowd of eligible bachelors.”

“I don’t ever do it on purpose!” he defended.

“You could’ve fooled me,” scoffed Eloise. Then, softening her tone, she added, “Just tonight. Please.”

“Fine,” he relented.

If it was so important to Eloise, he would do it. He supposed he would want someone to do that to Eloise if she was ever in your same position. But he was already dreading the night. He had never particularly enjoyed balls, and he knew tonight would be especially dreadful. Usually, your arguments provided prime entertainment, and if he wasn’t allowed to fight with you tonight, he would just have to endure the monotony of the ballroom without any respite.

---

You drew in a sharp breath as you entered the ballroom, looking around at the crowd nervously. Charlotte placed a comforting hand on your shoulder and led you toward the back of the room. Had she chosen to go to the furthest place from the entrance simply to torture you? You were nervous enough as it was; you didn’t need the added anxiety of having everyone’s eyes on you as you walked through the crowd.

You had opted for an elegant white gown tonight. Well, your mother had suggested it and you had inevitably agreed to wear it.

“It’s meant to look like a wedding dress!” she had exclaimed earlier. “It shows you’re still in the marriage mart despite everything that’s happened, and you’ll have gentlemen queuing up to dance with you.”

Whatever the reasoning behind the gown, you had to admit that it was beautiful. It accentuated your figure, and you could already feel plenty of keen eyes on you and more than a few furtive whispers. Though you couldn’t make out exactly what people were saying, you were sure you heard your name mentioned several times. However, you smiled gracefully at everyone anyway, wanting to avoid being seen as a complete laughingstock after losing Arthur. The Duke, you corrected yourself. He was no longer Arthur to you.

“Y/N,” you heard Eloise’s excited voice beside you.

You turned to see her smiling face and squeezed Charlotte’s hand to let her know she could go on without you.

“Hello, El,” you greeted, smiling wide.

“The balls have been torture without you! I’m so glad you’re finally here,” she gushed, taking your hand and leading you to a less crowded part of the ballroom.

You relaxed slightly. At least one person here didn’t hate you. But perhaps she was the only one. As you kept speaking with Eloise, you realized that not a single bachelor had come to ask you for a dance. Usually, you had to reject quite a few gentlemen within the first few minutes of being at a ball, but your dance card remained empty tonight.

Swallowing nervously, you looked around the room and assessed the gravity of your situation. Plenty of people were staring at you, but no one had moved toward you. Were they waiting for someone else to walk up to you? Did they not want to be the first to dance with you? Or did this mean that Lord Barlow’s actions had well and truly ruined you? Feeling the familiar beginnings of tears forming in your eyes, you quickly started to panic. What would your parents say?

You were trying to focus on Eloise’s words, but all you could hear was your rapid heartbeat, and you were surprised people around you couldn’t hear it, too. Your stomach flipped uncomfortably as you realized that you might have truly fallen out of favor with the ton. The thought made you feel sick. This wasn’t how you wanted the season to go. How you needed it to go.

Just as you were ready to bolt outside in search of fresh air, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Your stomach clenched, and for a fleeting moment, you hoped it was Colin Bridgerton. As much as you weren’t looking forward to the inevitable antagonism you would face from him, and as much as you knew that he wasn’t interested in anything from you other than an argument, the thought of engaging with someone of the opposite gender provided a fleeting sense of relief. Anything to momentarily divert your thoughts from the Duke's betrayal and the disheartening realization of your diminished standing in society. Although knowing Colin, he would probably bring up the subject just to spite you.

However, as you turned around, you came face to face with your brother. A tiny rush of disappointment coursed through you, and you crinkled your face in confusion. It was a disconcerting realization, indeed, to find yourself yearning for the company of Colin Bridgerton, the very individual you despised most in the ton.

Leaning down close to you, Louis asked lowly, “Ça va?” (Are you alright?).

“Louis,” you rolled your eyes and nodded, trying to convince him–and yourself–that you were fine. “Ça va” (I’m alright).

“Excuse me just a moment,” spoke Eloise as she looked between you and your brother. She squeezed your hand and turned around, leaving you with Louis.

You cringed, internally hearing your parents scolding you for speaking French around her. But Louis, unphased by Eloise’s exit, spoke again. “Non, j’suis serieux. On peut y aller,” he insisted (No, I’m serious. We can leave).

It was nice of him to check up on you. But it only left you feeling worse, a sobering reminder that your situation was dire enough that your brother was actually being sweet to you.

As much as you would have liked to, you knew you couldn’t leave the ball. It would only make it worse to flee now. Your parents had already allowed you a weeklong break from social events, and they would be most displeased to find out that you were giving up so soon after your re-entry into society.

So, you steeled yourself, forcing yourself to keep your tone light. “Leave the ball? For me or for you?” you asked Louis, poking him teasingly.

He relaxed upon hearing your light tone, letting out a breath as he smiled down at you. Your parents had asked him to be especially careful with you tonight, and he was left with sickening worry. You were his little sister, and as much as you had your differences, he still thought himself in charge, at least partially, of your wellbeing.

The worst part was that he knew exactly the kind of man Andrew Barlow was, and he was beside himself with guilt that he had even let the man near you. But you seemed to be getting through it, he noted, relieved.

Colin was rooted to the spot across the ballroom, staring at you as you engaged in easy conversation with your brother. How you could be so disagreeable toward him, and completely pleasant with everyone else was absolutely beyond him.

But what really caught his attention tonight was your attire. You were wearing a white gown, and he briefly wondered if that was what your wedding dress would have looked like. He couldn’t help it; you looked positively stunning, and he was angry because he knew if he even attempted to talk to you, you would most likely bite his head off.

Colin jumped as he felt a tap on his shoulder, slightly embarrassed at having been discovered staring at you. He turned around to face his mother and Eloise smiling far too innocently for his liking.

“Colin, go dance with Y/N, please.”

“Can’t Benedict do it?” Colin pleaded. He would do anything not to have to speak with you right this moment. It was far better to look at you from a distance, where he could pretend you didn’t completely despise him.

“He’s dancing with Penelope Featherington at the moment, so no. Colin, it’s one dance!” Violet responded, exasperated.

“It’s not like she won’t have anyone else asking her,” grumbled Colin unhappily. Though, come to think of it, he hadn’t actually seen anyone ask you for a dance tonight.

“Colin,” Eloise pleaded. “If they see you dancing with her, they’ll be more inclined to speak with her.”

Remembering his conversation with his sister from earlier, Colin accepted defeat, mumbling a low “just this once.”

He found himself growing increasingly nervous as he made his way over to you, and he clenched his fists to keep his hands from shaking. What had gotten into him? This was merely a dance like any other. He’d done it many times before, and he could do it with you.

He cleared his throat as he reached your side, drawing you out of your conversation with Louis.

“Not you, too,” you sighed upon seeing him. “I’ve had enough of a difficult time today without your input.”

Colin was momentarily unable to speak, though he quickly recovered. At this point, he didn’t know why kept being so surprised that you thought so lowly of him.

He was not like the rest of the cruel members of the ton, he thought defiantly. And he would show you just how unlike them he was. This was the real Colin Bridgerton, not the insecure, combative version of him that seemed to slip out whenever you were near.

“A dance, Lady Montclair. I came to ask for a dance,” he said patiently, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t act like you’ve got a full dance card,” he rolled his eyes. Alright, maybe he couldn’t completely shake his hostile demeanor.

"Mr. Bridgerton, that is-”

“Please.”

“Why?” came your indignant response.

“We can say we’re both doing it for Eloise if that will make you feel better,” he said, eyebrows raised.

Unsure, you turned to look at Louis beside you, who gave you an unimpressed look and gently nudged you in Colin’s direction.

“Fine,” you huffed.

He let out a breath and reached for your dance card. “Thank you.”

Suddenly, Colin became hyperaware of his surroundings. Every sensation was heightened, and it was almost too much for him to hold your hand as he led you toward the dance floor. He had never had this much physical contact with you, bar the times you had not-so-accidentally stepped on his foot, and he was struggling to maintain his composure.

Your hand felt so delicate in his, and he was actively resisting the urge to interlock your fingers with his. Where had that come from? Why was it that he could never get a grip when he was around you?

Colin was forced back to the present moment as you reached the dance floor, and he carefully set one hand on your waist and used the other to hold your hand, getting into position before the music started playing.

His stomach was in about a thousand knots, and he awkwardly shifted his hand placement, unsure about whether he was making too much physical contact with you. With the way you looked tonight, Colin would have been happy to keep his hands on you all night, but he was sure you did not share the sentiment, and the last thing he wanted was to inadvertently make you uncomfortable. If he was going to make you upset, he would much rather have done it on purpose and off the dance floor. But that’s not what Eloise has asked of him, so he settled for gingerly holding your waist, his fingers carefully touching the smooth fabric of your dress.

Much to his chagrin, Colin stumbled slightly as the music started in an attempt to begin dancing with you. This was not at all how the most charming member of the ton was supposed to act, he scolded himself, cringing. Perhaps it was a good thing you had never agreed to dance with him before this, and that he never got the chance to properly pursue you as a suitor. If merely a turn about the dance floor with you had him feeling so out of sorts, he couldn’t even imagine what kissing you must have felt like.

Except now he was imagining what kissing you would feel like. His gaze suddenly fixated on your lips, and he wondered why he had never noticed how inviting they looked. It would be so easy to simply lean down, ever so slightly, and touch his lips to yours. Perhaps it would cause a scandal, given that you were in the middle of a ball, but he rather thought it would be worth it. Just a few-

“Keep your hands to yourself, Mr. Bridgerton” your sharp voice cut through his musings.

Colin blinked, brought back to the present moment in an instant. It appeared that, in his rather improper daydream, his hold on your waist had tightened considerably. Irritation bubbled up inside of him as he softened his grip. It seemed that nothing had changed between the two of you, after all. His attempts at playing nice had been, as per usual, futile.

“I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the concept of dancing, Lady Montclair, but it necessitates at least some level of physical contact,” he snapped, glaring but still unable to look away from your lips.

Unfortunately, his words were punctuated by another stumble as he fought to stay upright and keep moving to the music, and he had to hold onto you to avoid toppling over.

“What is the matter with you?” you hissed. “Did you never learn how to dance?”

Colin looked down at you, grimacing and expecting to find the furious glare on your face he so often received. But your eyes were elsewhere. They were skittishly looking around the room, and your mouth was settling into a deeper and deeper frown.

He noticed you anxiously chewing on your lip, your hand slightly shaky in his, though you were doing well to hide it. He felt like an idiot. Of course you were uneasy. It was your first dance trying to find a new suitor, and he was making you look like a fool in the middle of the dance floor. Colin felt his own anxiety melt away, replaced by a strange protectiveness he wasn’t sure he was familiar with.

“Just look at me,” he whispered as he twirled you.

You were too anxious to do anything but follow his instructions, and your eyes shifted to him instantly. He looked concerned, and you wondered whether it was concern for you or because he had almost fallen face-first in the middle of the dance floor. Either way, you were grateful you had something to focus on that wasn’t the constant obvious stares you were getting from everyone around you.

But, as Colin twirled you once again, you made eye contact with a man you had danced with on a few occasions. Before you could smile politely, he turned away to whisper something to the person beside him, and your face fell. As you returned to face Colin, you couldn’t help but look over his shoulder to see who would be the next person to prove that you were ruined.

You felt a squeeze at your waist, and your eyes came back to Colin’s.

“They don’t matter. Pretend it’s just me and you,” he said softly, reeling you in effortlessly. “Well, perhaps your sister as well, just in case you attempt to murder me.”

You couldn’t help it, you let out a soft giggle and bit your lip to keep from bursting into laughter. And though you were still surrounded by people surely itching to see you stumble and fall, you felt the rest of the ballroom fading away. As long as you kept looking at Colin, and he kept looking at you, there was nothing that could distract you.

“I haven’t been in England that long, but I’m fairly certain murder is illegal here,” you quipped, smiling warmly at Colin for what was probably the first time.

“I’m fairly certain it’s illegal in every place I’ve been to, but I’m not so sure that would stop you,” he said back, a positively rakish smile on his face. But you were far too distracted by his mention of his travels to notice.

“You’ve traveled? Eloise hasn’t mentioned much,” you said curiously.

“I’ve mostly traveled by myself,” he explained, now completely composed, previous stress forgotten, and finding himself enjoying your company. “My family doesn’t have the same penchant for adventure as me, so I usually set off on my own.”

You hummed thoughtfully. This, you hadn’t expected. Now you knew that you and Colin shared a love for travel, and it was a very unpleasant feeling, indeed. You had spent so long trying to distance yourself from him, and it was slightly disconcerting to know that the two of you had something in common. Especially something so embedded in who you were.

“Where was the last place you went to?”

“Greece,” he answered, smiling down at you. “I came back just before the season started. My mother was quite upset with me when she saw my tan.”

You laughed, perfectly picturing Violet’s hand over her chest as she saw her son after spending weeks in the sun. “You’re mad! If I had your kind of freedom, I certainly would not have stayed in England for as long as you have. Why haven’t you left since?”

“I- I’m not sure,” Colin answered. Why had he stayed so long? Usually, he liked to travel during the summer months, but he had stayed put so far and had no upcoming travel plans. “I suppose I am enjoying the season this year.” Was he really, though?

But you had already moved on to your next question. “The language is quite challenging, no? Did you learn at all? How long were you in Greece?”

Colin could have kissed you then and there. His family rarely showed interest in his travels, seldom responding to his letters, and once back in the ton, no one else bothered to inquire about his time abroad. Thus, he found himself pleasantly surprised by your curiosity, even if it was you—of all people—who displayed it.

As your conversation unfolded, Colin realized he was thoroughly enjoying himself. The effortless banter, combined with the tingling sensation that coursed through him whenever your hand grazed his neck, made him feel as though he were soaring high above the ballroom floor.

What if you had said yes that night at the Danbury ball? What if you had accepted his invitation to dance? Would it have felt as remarkable, as natural as this moment? Or was the allure of having you in his arms heightened simply because you had already rejected him?

Colin supposed he might have fallen for you that very night at the Danbury ball, had the circumstances been different. He could have seen himself, in a fit of romantic fervor, asking for your hand in marriage mere days afterward. Perhaps, then, it was lucky that you seemed to have an instant disdain for him. It likely spared him from acting the fool. Though truth be told, he often found himself behaving quite foolishly in your presence regardless.

As the dance ended, Colin found himself yearning to continue speaking with you. He grabbed your hand in his, feeling much more composed this time, and led you away from the dance floor. But he barely had time to turn back around to face you and continue your conversation before a trio of suitors came up and asked you to dance. Before he knew it, you were being swept away once more, this time on the arm of someone else.

Colin congratulated himself on a job well done as he made his way back to where Eloise stood, deftly declining a gentleman's offer to dance. It was a triumph, he thought, that Colin had gone more than five minutes without arguing with you, and you had even laughed at something he said! It felt far better than whatever hostile rapport the two of you usually had.

“Thank you,” Eloise smiled gratefully at her brother. “Now, was that so difficult?” she added in a teasing tone.

“I will have you know that yes, it was,” answered Colin stubbornly, but he knew he was lying even before the words came out of his mouth. Gliding across the dance floor with you in his arms had felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Even now, as you twirled gracefully in the arms of another, Colin found himself not seething with jealousy as he might have expected, but rather in a state of awe. There was something enchanting about the sight of you, and he couldn't tear his gaze away.

Then, unexpectedly, your eyes met his over the shoulder of your current dance partner, and you bestowed upon him a heart-stopping smile, silently mouthing a 'thank you'. Colin had to feign a cough to cover up the giggle he had just let out. A giggle? From Colin Bridgerton, certified rake? What on Earth were you doing to him?

—

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imasoftieforbarb · 6 months

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hey there! you kinda have seen me already by freaking out about Floyd he’s actually is what I wanted to request!

if it’s possible, could you write a little fic on how reader could be when they (pronouns are your opinion) found out about floyd being captured? OR HEAR ME OUT PLS—

reader is Floyd‘s partner (girlfriend/boyfriend, again your opinion) BUT was captured WITH him, bc all the time I was watching the movie I imagined them being with Floyd since young and bc of cliché drama I love *cries*

again it’s your option on doing it or not !!

I LOVE THIS IDEA! Okokokokok

You were childhood best friends- and when he joined the band? You became their manager!

You wanted to support him and you didn’t want to interrupt the whole boys only band so you went with next best thing!

After the failed show you try to keep everyone from leaving

JD tells you to move, and shoves you out the way when you try to block the door

Clay just shakes his head and leaves

Spruce lays a hand on your shoulder and whispers “look after them for me”

At first Floyd tries to leave without you- after giving Branch his vest, he asks you to look after him

You nodded- but the minute he was out of sight you started crying

“What are you waiting for girl? Go get him!”

Grandma tells you she’ll be fine looking after branch on her own so you run off after Floyd

“FLOYD! FLOYD WAIT!” You shouted, seeing his figure turn around, his eyes widening when he saw you running towards him.

“Y/n? What are you doing? I thought you were gonna look after Branch”- he started to say before he saw your tears

“Im not gonna watch the boy I have loves since who knows when walk out the door without him knowing how I feel” you panted taking his hand in yours and meeting his eyes shyly “we could be so good together, we can make this last forever!”

Floyd blinked a few times before laughing slightly “wow! I never thought that you’d like me- I mean I’m not the heart throb or the fun one”

You interrupted “I don’t like them! I like you! A lot”

“I like you a lot too-you sure you wanna come with me?”

You nodded and he grinned, intertwining your fingers and starting to walk away from the pod together, hand in hand as you talked about the future

Ok now- I’m gonna mix ideas here

Let’s say when he got captured you were still with him but not present at the time

So when you got back to the pod you and your long term boyfriend had made to see it wrecked with big foot prints leading away from it

You immediately assumed he’d been eaten by a Burgan

Absolutely heartbroken you fixed the pod back up on your own and fell into a grieving depression

Everywhere you looked you saw memories of him

And then far into the future one day- you get a letter

Supposedly from your dead boyfriend!

You- despite thinking that he was dead- were desperate to see him again, and if that lead to your death then so be it!

You got in your catterbug van called Chloe and head straight for the ‘mount rageous’ that the letter had specified

Once you got to the place this “Velvet and Veneer” we’re singing at you snuck in and noticed the dressing room door open a smidge

You peaked in slightly and felt your eyes water

There he was- Floyd was alive! You couldn’t believe it- you took a few steps back to grasp what you were seeing before a bumping into something.

You looked up and Veneer looked down at you before snatching you up and laughing slightly

“Wow! Another troll? I wonder which one you are? Either way- more talent for us I suppose!” Veneer muttered before entering the dressing room

Floyd looked up from his crossed legs as one of his captors Veneer walked into the room with something in his hand

He had been thinking of you- he always thought about you- between the torture of having his talent drained he dreamed of being back in your shared pod- in your arms

He startled from his thoughts as another diamond perfume bottle was slammed down onto the counter next to him, and felt his heart drop and eyes water when he noticed who was in it

Floyd waited for veneer to leave the room- probably to go get velvet to tell her the good news of having another troll to drain before standing up and pressing his hands to the wall of his prison

“Y-Y/n? Is- is that you?”

You nodded, already crying your eyes out just from looking at him

“What are you doing here? You shouldn’t have come- they’re gonna drain you-“

He stopped when he noticed your tears streaming down your face and had a déjà-vu moment of when you first told him you liked him

“I thought you were dead”

You whispered, dropping to your knees-

“There’s no way I would pass up a way to see you- I love you!” You pressed your hands against the diamond as well and he felt his eyes well with tears

“I love you too-“

Velvet came storming into the room and cackled when she saw your face fill with fear

“Oh- you are gonna be mine!” She said grasping the bottle and starting to walk back out

“NO!” Floyd shouted “not her, drain me first-“

Velvet sneered slightly

“Seeing as you’ve said that- no, I’m gonna drain her, veneer can have you. I want a newer talent”

She left the dressing room and the door slammed shut on Floyd- his tears finally falling

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

AAAAAA- should I do a part 2 taking place during the family harmony at the end of the movie? Let me know what you think!

#trolls band together #brozone x reader #brozone #brozone floyd #brozone floyd x reader #trolls Floyd x reader

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kedsandtubesocks · 2 months

Text

dance away your cowboy blues

Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel

word count: 6k

a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡

A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.

He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.

So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.

Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.

Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.

When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.

From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.

A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.

It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.

You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.

Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.

Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.

More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.

“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.

Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.

“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.

“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.

You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.

It’s a trait you gained from Joel.

Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.

Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.

“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.

The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.

Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.

You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.

The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.

Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.

The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.

Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.

The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.

And the lead singer is Joel.

Your knees almost give out.

Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.

Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.

Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.

“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.

You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.

“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”

You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.

Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.

Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.

“We can stay.”

Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.

“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.

“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.

When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.

A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.

The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.

You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Then Joel speaks.

“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.

“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.

His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.

Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.

You now fully soak in Joel.

He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.

During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.

He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.

You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.

There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.

“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.

The crowd cheers back at him.

“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.

That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.

It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.

However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.

If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…

It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.

At the chorus, your throat tightens.

I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you

The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.

Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.

There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.

Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.

The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.

A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -

And that’s when he spots you.

Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.

But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.

His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.

He knows it’s you.

Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.

You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.

The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction

But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.

His focus stays on you.

It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.

“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.

You think maybe it’s a hallucination.

Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.

If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…

Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.

Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.

You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.

Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.

“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.

He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.

Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.

Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.

He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.

Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.

The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.

Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.

Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.

Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.

It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.

But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.

You made him laugh.

On stage.

Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.

Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.

Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.

A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.

“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.

“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”

You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.

You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.

You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.

Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.

You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.

“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.

“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”

So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.

Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”

She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.

“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”

He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’

What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.

Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.

The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.

Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.

It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.

The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.

“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”

A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.

“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.

“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.

“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”

The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.

“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.

“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.

You even perk up curious.

“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.

Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.

The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.

The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.

This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.

The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.

I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…

His eyes never leave yours.

The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.

Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.

It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.

Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.

Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.

“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.

Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.

“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.

You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.

Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.

“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.

It’s a keychain.

Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.

It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.

Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.

Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.

You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.

“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.

“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”

You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.

“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.

“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.

You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.

“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”

You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.

The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.

No, Joel isn’t that type of man.

Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.

The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.

He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.

A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.

“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”

You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.

The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.

You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.

Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.

It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.

“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”

You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.

It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.

“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.

“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”

“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.

There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.

So you turn the conversation back to him.

You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.

“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”

“As usual.”

You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.

Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.

“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.

Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.

Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.

You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.

“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”

You turn to walk out.

That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.

“I miss you.” He exhales.

“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.

When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.

“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.

“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.

Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.

“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.

“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”

Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.

“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.

“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.

“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”

“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.

“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.

The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.

“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”

Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.

“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.

“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.

“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”

“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”

“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.

“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.

Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.

Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.

“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”

Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.

Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.

He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.

His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.

Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.

“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”

Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.

Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.

“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.

“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.

“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.

His arms squeeze you tighter.

“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.

“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.

“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”

You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.

“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.

You nod a soft yes.

Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.

“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”

Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.

He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.

“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.

“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.

You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.

“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.

Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.

“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”

His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.

“You what?” You stammer out.

“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”

Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.

Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.

“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.

“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”

You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.

“Baby,” he begins.

“Hm?”

“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”

“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.

“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.

“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”

His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.

Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.

But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.

Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.

Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.

It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.

Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.

Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.

“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.

He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.

“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.

You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.

Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.

“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.

“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”

From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.

“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.

“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.

It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.

The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.

“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.

“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.

You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.

“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”

Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.

Twisting in his arms your lips find his.

“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.

You snort, shaking your head.

“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.

“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.

“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.

In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.

But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.

#my heart is so full and I can’t thank yall enough I wish country singer Joel could perform for you personally in your living room #let’s rodeo fic series #country singer!joel miller #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller x f!reader #Joel miller fic #Joel miller fanfic #Joel 🤎

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blushweddinggowns · 8 months

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It had started as a rough few weeks. A rough few weeks that turned into a rough few months. It was weird, because in all honesty when it came to social standings, Will was doing a lot better here than he ever did in Hawkins. There were no Zombie Boy stories following him here, and he even managed to get a few girls to have a crush on him. He…still wasn’t quite clear how that worked out and he really wasn’t a fan of it. But they were also the only people he could talk to at school. He was way too paranoid of getting close to any guys. God forbid he got another crush on a friend, having none of them just seemed like the better course of action.

It didn’t help that Mike had basically stopped acknowledging that he existed after they moved. He didn’t write to him, he didn’t call him, and it felt like the only time he heard his voice was when he politely asked for El over the phone. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. Especially when he still put in so much effort to get ahold of El all the time. He’d resent her for it if he could, but the only one who was having a worse time than him with the move was her. Maybe Mike was a shitty friend to him, but at least she had someone to talk to.

But whatever. Lucas and Dustin cared, and so did Eddie and Steve. And when Jonathan wasn’t busy being high as hell, he had him too. Even Max called him more often than Mike did. Even when she was just trying to get ahold of El she’d take the time to ask him how he was, a courtesy that his best friend from freaking kindergarten couldn’t even offer anymore.

So maybe Will didn’t have many friends in California yet, but he didn’t feel very lonely.

Just a little heartbroken.

But he could get past it. Especially when some of his favorite people were only one phone call away. Sometimes it made him feel a little guilty, that Steve and Eddie were his go to for talking about his problems. Especially since Jonathan was always trying to get him to open up. Even when he was zoinked out of his gourd he never failed to ask Will how his day was. Though…he did have a hard time following the plot when Will told him.

But that didn’t change the fact that Jonathan always wanted to help. But what could Will say? I’m depressed because I’m in love with my best friend who doesn’t care about me? And oh yeah, I’m gay? Yeah, no. That wasn’t going to happen. If Jonathan of all people hated him for that…he’s not sure he could recover. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t think about it.

It was kind of pathetic, but he’d fantasize about it sometimes. Coming out to his family, everyone smiling and saying they’d love him anyway, no matter what. And if he was being honest with himself, it was technically possible, right? His brother had never said a bad word about Steve and Eddie. His mom never failed to shut the homophobic crap down when his crappy sperm donor had still been around. But it was different when it was your own kid, right? Will wasn’t quite sure. But he did know that he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

So he called who he always did when he had a problem. It only took a few rings before someone was picking up, Steve’s familiar voice on the other end, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Will sighed, flopping face first into his bed, the phone pressed to his ear.

He could hear the smile in Steve’s voice, “Hey kiddo, what’s up?”

God, he was such a dad. Will wouldn’t be shocked if he started wearing socks with sandals by the time he hit twenty-three. He went straight to the point, “Do you think that living happily ever after is like a real thing? For people like us?”

Steve laughed, “It better fucking be after all the shit we’ve seen.”

“I don’t mean the Upside Down stuff,” Will sighed, “I mean like…y’know. The gay.”

Steve snorted, “The gay? I’m going to have to tell Eddie that one.”

Will rolled his eyes at the redundant statement. He had learned a long time ago that telling Steve something meant telling Eddie something, and vice versa. He sighed a tiny smile on his face, “Oh what, like he’s not already next to you listening in?”

“...touché.”

Will laughed, turning over to stare at the ceiling, “I’m serious though. Like…is it even possible? It’s not like everyone gets to magically find their soulmate at eight.”

“Is that such a bad thing though?” Steve asked, “Because no offense dude but honestly? I think you could do a lot better than Mike-”

“Be nice,” Will interrupted, torn between being defensive for Mike’s sake and amused at Steve never failing to find a way to come at him.

“I will when he starts being nice to me.”

“Well that’s just not going to happen,” Will laughed, “I’m starting to think Eddie’s right to call you a brat.”

Steve gasped, loud and scandalized. He’d been hanging out with Robin too much, “Me?! Never!”

Will could barely hear it over the receiver, but he could hear Eddie’s faint voice coming through, Yes he is!

And it was making him laugh even harder. Will missed this, so much. He missed having a place where he could just say whatever he wanted, with no worries. Even now he was looking over his shoulder, anxious at the chance that his mom or a sibling could come bursting in at any moment to catch him in the act of being comfortable. It was a confusing and weird feeling, and probably a little unfair to assume they’d prefer him to be sad and quiet over happy and queer. But he still did.

But for now he was safe. And he might as well take the chance to speak on all the things he couldn’t with anyone else, “But what if I don’t want to do better than Mike? Like…it’s stupid but do you think that um, I would ever have a chance?”

The answer was a strong no, but sometimes Will just needed a reality check from someone else’s mouth.

Steve sighed, “I think the odds are pretty low bud. All jokes aside, even if he was playing for our team, I’m not sure if he’s the type who could even accept it. Y’know?”

Will did know, unfortunately. And if he’d never met Eddie and Steve there was a solid chance he’d be that guy. The truth stung a bit, but it was necessary, “I know, I know. But…do you think he would accept me? If he ever found out?”

“He fucking better. Otherwise I’ll-”

Will heard a shuffle on the other end, paired with something that sounded suspiciously like whining before he heard Eddie’s voice, “Will? You there? Sorry about that. I had to take the phone away before he started talking about beating up a child.”

Will grinned, happy to hear Eddie’s voice, “You made the right call. Do you think they’ll ever get along?”

“Not in this lifetime,” Eddie sighed, “And I know Mike’s not perfect, but if he’s okay with us why wouldn’t he be with you?”

“But it’s different when it’s a friend, isn’t it?” Will asked, “I’m not even sure if my mom would accept it, let alone him.”

“Well first of all, you don’t have to tell anyone shit, okay? But I can promise you that Joyce would be fine with it. And so would Jonathan for that matter. And I don’t even know if El is aware of what homophobia even is.”

It all sounded a lot more believable out of Eddie’s mouth than what was going on in his own head. But still… “What if they don’t though? What if I tell them and they kick me out or something? Or make me go to therapy?”

“Okay, on the off, off chance that you tell them and Joyce suddenly became a monster overnight, we’ll go to plan B. Steve and I will drive up there to kidnap you and you can live in Indy with us.”

Will grinned. He could live with that, “Can’t we just make that Plan A?”

“No, because your family loves you, as they should by the way. And this won’t bother them, I swear. Plus, telling them on your own terms is a lot less awkward than getting caught in the act.”

Will didn’t even want to know what Eddie was alluding to with that one. Poor Wayne, “But what if we’re wrong?”

He wanted to believe him, he really did, but stranger things had happened outside of gay people being disowned.

“Will, listen to me,” Eddie said, his voice confident enough to make Will perk up, “I swear on Steve’s life, okay? There is no way in hell anyone in that house is gonna reject you for this.”

Will blinked, a little shocked at just how much faith he had in his family. More than he did, “Really?”

“Really. Trust me on this man, you’re going to be fine.”

They hung up pretty soon after that, mostly because El started knocking on his door for the phone. The conversation made him feel a bit better, but also…nervous. Could he really tell them? Would it all just work out? Just like that? Will wasn’t so sure.

He decided against doing it right away despite Eddie’s own confidence. But he did start to drop a few feelers. He started with Jonathan, waiting until he was high enough for him to forget the conversation if it didn’t go well. And that wasn’t a long wait.

He found him and his new friend sprawled out in his room, Fast Times playing in the background as they both stared into space. Though Will wasn’t quite sure he could count what Argyle was doing as staring. He’s eyes were barely open, and Will was 90 percent sure he was passed out. But that was good for him, now was as good a time as any.

Jonathan smiled at him as he wandered in, his words kind but slurring, “Hey! What’s up? You never come in here. You wanna watch something or…?”

Will shook his head, his heart aching a little at the way it made his brother frown. Maybe he really had been neglecting him, too caught up in his own head to spend time with the closest thing he had to a Dad.

It made him feel a little bad, but that wasn’t what he was here for, “No thanks. I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Sure!” Jonathan said, way too excited at the prospect of a simple question, but maybe that was the weed, “What’s up?”

Will shrugged, casually leaning against the door. Or at least he hoped it looked casual, because his heart was beating a mile per minute, “Steve said that his and Eddie’s anniversary is coming up soon. Do you think I should send them something?”

Jonathan tilted his head up to look at him, his eyes bloodshot with a tiny smile on his face, “That’s like…so nice dude. You’re always so nice. How are you so nice?”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” Will pressed, hope fluttering in his chest, “To be, y’know, celebrating them like that?”

Jonathan shook his head, “Nah man. It’s like…romance. Y’know? It’s sweet.”

“Yeah dude, gay guys are cool,” Argyle agreed out of nowhere, his eyes still closed, “Good for Stu and Eggie. Gay people got like, the best hair.”

Will didn’t really know what to do with that one. But Jonathan was impressed. He jerked his head back to stare at Argyle, his voice in awe, “How’d you know he had good hair? I never told you he had good hair.”

“I bet they both have good hair,” Argyle sighed, “They alway do.”

“Are you like, psychic?” Jonathan asked, like that made any sense at all.

“Shit, you think I could be?”

Will watched as the two of them started to debate the idea, his brow raised. God, weed sure was a hell of a drug. He left them to it after that, deciding to slowly back out of the room. But he was going to chalk it up as a positive.

preview for the next chapter (kind of) of this fic

#steddie #stranger things #will byers #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #the universe trapped in your skin #she's coming along #so fucking slowly #but she's coming #just a little preivew to prove she still exists

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coryosmin · 3 months

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exes and oh’s - sejanus plinth x fem!reader

summary: being heartbroken after breaking up with coriolanus, you’ve not left your house in a few days. but your best friend sej knows exactly how to make you move on from his best friend.

word count: 3,200

warnings: nsfw, mdni, coryo’s ex x sejanus, smut, p in v, shy reader, soft sejanus, praise kink, soft sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), sejanus plinth lives AU because he never died in my heart, crying during sex, sejanus is so cute, coryo makes an appearance at the end, NOT PROOF READ BECAUSE ITS 3 AM AND IM TOO TIRED SO I APOLOGIZE FOR TYPOS AND GRAMMAR ERRORS

being coriolanus’s girlfriend had been both great and bad. he always treated you relatively well, bringing you out on dates, getting you gifts, he was always so good in bed. however, he was also very jealous and possessive, constantly thinking you were cheating on him with everyone in the capitol. it got so bad that when you were out having lunch with your father, you came home to coriolanus in your apartment asking where the hell you had been and saying you were lying when you said you were with your father. so ultimately, you broke up with coryo, unable to handle the whole possessiveness thing any longer.

you were heartbroken to say the least. your breakup had been quite the blowout. when you mentioned coriolanus’s possessiveness and how toxic it was, he yelled at you, accusing you of cheating on him and that you were just looking for an excuse to leave him. so here you were, sitting on your couch crying to sejanus, yours and coriolanus’ best friend, about the breakup. sejanus held you close to him, letting you cry on his shoulder as he had his arms wrapped around you.

“i just don’t understand why he would say such hurtful things, you know?” you sniffled, leaning away from sej’s touch to look at him. your eyes were so red and puffy from crying, sejanus felt his heart break at your heartbroken look.

the curly haired boy sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “that’s just how coryo is, unfortunately,” he said, taking your hands in his. “he’ll attack first and regret later.”

“i just thought he really valued me, you know? he always treated me so well despite the possessiveness,” you exclaimed, taking a shaky deep breath.

sejanus looked at you with his soft brown eyes. he breathed in before replying. “i think, instead of dwelling on it, you should take this opportunity to forget about him,” he exclaimed.

you let out a dry, breathless laugh. “and how do you suppose i do that, sejanus? sleep with someone else? i’m not going to just sleep with anyone.”

“you could sleep with me,” sejanus said, looking at you seriously.

“what?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

sejanus took a deep breath before clearing his throat. “you don’t want to sleep with just anyone,” he said, his voice neutral. “why not sleep with someone that cares about you?”

you shook your head in response, laughing in disbelief. “i’m not going to sleep with my ex’s best friend, sejanus.” you said.

“i’m your best friend too,” sejanus replied. “besides, you need to forget about him. and i’d be more than willing to help you.”

you thought about it for a moment, unsure of how to reply. sejanus was indeed your best friend. however, he was coryo’s before he became yours. wouldn’t he be betraying his best friend? “coryo would be so angry if he found out,” you replied, frowning.

“what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” sejanus replied softly, bringing your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

you couldn’t help the blush on your cheeks, looking at sejanus. his brown eyes looked into your eyes. his eyes were so soft and loving. you bit your lip. you couldn’t deny that part of you wanted to do it. sejanus was of course an attractive guy and very down to earth. he may be from the districts but that didn’t matter too much to you. you took a deep breath before replying. “okay, sej,” you whispered. “but only if you promise it won’t ruin our friendship afterward.”

sejanus let out a chuckle, nodding his head. “i promise,” he said, smiling at you. he leaned in, moving his face closer to yours. “are you sure, though?”

you licked your lips, nodding your head. “yes,” you murmured, your hot breath hitting sejanus’s face. and without anymore hesitation, sejanus kissed you gently on the lips. his kisses were so much more different compared to coriolanus’s. coryo had always kissed you hungrily, as if you’d disappear if he didn’t hold you close to him. sejanus’s kisses? well, he kissed you like you were delicate. like you were something to cherish. his lips were soft against yours, almost meaningful. and you couldn’t help the fluttering in your heart. though maybe that’s just due to being in an emotionally vulnerable state.

sejanus continued kissing you as he began to unbutton your blouse. and of course you let him. you did the same to him, unbuttoning sejanus’s dress shirt. ever since he had come back from district 12, he had focused on maintaining a specific image within the capitol, is clothes included. and therefore, he wore mostly button up and slacks most of the time as casual wear. you don’t know what had happened when he and coryo were away but you do know that sejanus came back more reserved than ever before.

sejanus finished unbuttoning your shirt, pulling it off of you and tossing the shirt to the side. sejanus pulled away from the kiss, looking at you with a small smile before looking down at your skin. you wore a simple black lace bra that cupped your breasts nicely. sejanus looked back into your eyes. “you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to your lips. “always so beautiful.”

you couldn’t help the blush on your cheeks as your heart fluttered. of course coriolanus had always called you pretty. but his words were never as sensual as sejanus’s are right now. “thank you,” you whispered bashfully. you bit your lip nervously.

sejanus smiled. “do you still want to continue?” he asked softly.

you nodded your head. “yes, please.”

“shall we move to your bedroom?” he asked gently.

you nodded your head once more. “yes,” you said. sejanus stood up, the tent in his pants quite obvious. his shirt was mostly unbuttoned, not all the way as you had stopped when he pulled away from the kiss. but you could see the toned muscles of his abs. he looked absolutely handsome. his curls had grown back a while ago, adding to his handsome look. you were about to stand up as well when suddenly sejanus stopped you. you looked up at him confused until he slid a hand underneath your legs and the other on your back, lifting you into his arms. “what are you doing?” you asked as he picked you up.

“if we're doing this, darling, we’re doing this the right way,” was all he said as he began carrying you. he had a grin on his face as he looked at you. you simply wrapped your arms around his neck, unable to help the smile on your face as you let yourself be carried to your bedroom.

sejanus placed you down gently onto your bed, your head on the pillows before standing back up. he unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way before letting it fall to the floor. he wanted to make tonight special for you because you deserved to be treated respectfully and with adoration. sejanus knew that coryo was a harsh lover. you deserved to be cherished and taken care of. he moved onto the bed, positioning himself on top of you by holding himself up with his arms as he captured your lips with his again.

the kiss was sensual, slow, and gentle, just like sejanus was with you. you weren’t used to this gentleness, truthfully. with coryo, he would of course kiss you and take his time with you but his touches were rough, needy, desperate. coryo was a fantastic but selfish lover. but so far, with sej, it was opposite.

sejanus pulled away from the kiss, moving to kiss your neck. you moved your hands to caress sejanus’s back, feeling his muscles as he pressed gentle kisses to your neck. he pressed a kiss to your pulse point before licking it, causing you to gasp from the sensation. sejanus brought a hand down your body to the waistband of your slacks. he sucked on your pulse point, his fingers going underneath your pants and panties, using a finger to spread around your arousal.

you let out a soft moan, your eyes fluttering shut as you spread your legs for sej. sejanus began to gently rub your clit with two fingers, causing you to buck your hips. he pulled away from your neck, his lips moving gently down your body. he kissed your collarbone as he rubbed your clit. sejanus then stopped rubbing your clit, dipping one finger into your hole and thrusting it in and out gently. you moaned, looking at sejanus.

“you’re so wet for me, sweetheart,” sejanus murmured against your skin, looking at you with his pretty brown eyes. “does it feel good?” he asked you, curling his finger inside of you, causing you to moan a bit louder.

you nodded your head. “feels so good, sej,” you said, looking at your best friend.

sejanus smiled at your reaction. “i’m glad, beautiful,” he said, adding another finger. you mewled in response, your eyes fluttering shut. sejanus thrusted his fingers a bit faster, the digits curled to hit your g-spot repeatedly. you felt yourself getting closer, arching your back. “close already, beautiful?” he asked, placing a kiss on top of your right breast. “you’re doing so good for me. cum for me.”

and you came with a loud moan, clenching your walls around sejanus’s fingers and trying to clamp your thighs closed. he fingered you through your orgasm. and when you came down from your high and relaxed your body, he removed his fingers from inside of you and out of your pants, smiling at you. “you did so good, baby,” he said. his praise made you shutter. you always had a thing for praise and sejanus gave it so willingly. it warmed your heart a lot.

sejanus pulled back, kneeling at the end of the mattress as he unzipped your slacks, pulling them down along with your panties. he threw them to the side. he then leaned down, pressing kisses to your thighs. you watched him, biting your lip. “want you, sej,” you murmured.

sejanus smiled at you, looking up at you. “and you’ll have me,” he murmured back. “but let me take care of you first, yeah?”

and who were you to say no? so you nodded your head in response.

“take your bra off for me, beautiful,” he said, going back to pressing kisses onto both of your thighs. you reached behind yourself, unclasping your bra. you threw the bra off the bed, not really caring for where it landed. sejanus looked up to see your breasts, unable to help the moan that escaped his lips. “god you’re so gorgeous, sweetheart.”

you couldn’t help the blush forming on your face as sejanus looked at you. you were completely naked in front of him and he looked at you as though you were a piece of art that needed to be worshipped. and you absolutely adored it. sejanus spread your legs, moving his head between your thighs. you took a breath in anticipation before sejanus licked your slit, causing you to let out a shaky breath.

sejanus tongued your clit, looking up at you with his beautiful brown eyes. you let out a whine, your eyes fluttering shut. sejanus couldn’t help the small smirk on his lips as he looked at you. you were just so amazing and perfect. he absolutely adored you. sejanus began sucking on your clit and you reached a hand to grip his hair, arching your back. your other hand gripped your boob, massaging the flesh as sejanus continued eating you out. you couldn’t help tugging on sejanus’s hair, causing him to moan against your pussy.

you ground your hips against his face, adding more to your pleasure and sejanus loved it. “so close, sej,” you whined, bringing your other hand to his head. sejanus continued his ministrations with his tongue, sucking on your clit to help bring your release. and soon your thighs were clenching around sejanus’s head, a loud moan escaping your lips as you came for the second time that night.

when you came down from your high, sejanus lifted his head, getting up from the bed. his face was covered in your juices and his eyes were most certainly blown out. “gonna fuck you now, okay?” he breathed out, palming himself through his pants. he couldn’t help it at all. you were just so pretty and the noises you made were just so so sweet. and you tasted absolutely divine.

you nodded your head at sejanus. “please,” you said, breathing heavily from your orgasm. “need your cock so bad, sej, need it.” you practically whined.

sejanus cooed, unzipping his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. “don’t worry, beautiful, gonna fuck you so good,” he said, revealing his cock to you. it was average but so girthy. you mewled at the sight of his cock, your pussy clenching around nothing. sejanus couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips, moving back onto the bed and crawling on top of you.

he pressed a kiss to your lips, bringing his cock to your pussy. he spread your wetness around with the tip, letting out a shaky moan as he did so. you shuttered in overstimulation as he ran the tip on your clit. he then brought his cock to your hole, slowly pushing inside of you. you let out a moan at the stretch, it stinging due to the girth. sejanus pressed a kiss to your lips to distracted you from the pain. you kissed him back, your hands gripping sejanus’s back as he continued to ease his cock inside of you.

when he was fully in you, sej stayed still, not moving so that you could adjust to his size. you guys continued kissing as you waited. and after a few moments, you pulled away from the kiss, looking into sej’s eyes. “you can move,” you whispered.

sejanus let out a shaky breath, nodding his head. he moved his cock out of you before thrusting it back in gently. the both of you moaned, your mouths agape in pleasure. “fuck, you’re so tight and wet, beautiful,” sejanus said, still looking into your eyes as he moved his hips slowly.

“so thick inside me, sej,” you breathed out.

sejanus leaned down to kiss you again, maintain a slow pace as one of his hands moved to grip yours, intertwining your fingers. “you’re so gorgeous,” he murmured against your lips. “you deserve to be treated good.” he said.

your heart swelled from sejanus’s words, an onset of emotions hitting you. he was treating you so good with holding your hand, being so gentle, giving you words of praise. you couldn’t it when tears welled in your eyes, feeling emotionally vulnerable in that moment. a few tears escaped your eyes, causing sejanus to frown and stop his movement. “what’s wrong?” he asked, looking at you with a concerned expression. “do you wish to stop?”

you sniffled, shaking your head no. “i’m sorry,” you apologized. “you’re treating me so good, got emotional,” you said softly, looking up at sej with teary eyes.

sejanus let out a breath of relief, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “it’s okay to get emotional, princess,” he said softly, his free hand that was holding him up moving so he could rest on his forearm. “do you want to continue or for me to stop?”

“please continue,” you said, bringing a hand to wipe your tears.

sejanus gave you a small smile. “you sure?”

“more than sure.”

and with that, sejanus continued his thrusts, causing you to moan and arch your back. he moved his hips a bit faster, not enough to be rough but just enough to make a really good rhythm. “you feel so good, princess,” sejanus murmured, bringing his head down towards your ear. “taking my cock so well,” he said.

you moaned in response, closing your eyes in pleasure. sejanus angled his hips a certain way, causing his cock to hit your g-spot repeatedly. you let out a loud whine and moan, gently scratching sejanus’s back. he let out a groan of pleasure, burying his face in your neck. his hips continued their gentle but fast pace, making the familiar heat tighten in your abdomen. sejanus’s cock stiffened inside of you, signaling he was close.

“you’re clenching around me so good, beautiful,” sejanus breathed out, his lips brushing against the skin on your neck. “gonna cum on my cock?”

you nodded your head in response. “yes, sej. i’m so close,” you moaned out.

“such a good girl,” he grunted, moving his a bit faster as he chased both of your orgasms. “go ahead, baby, cum on my cock.”

his words brought you over the edge as you let out a sob of pleasure, arching your back as you came hard around sejanus’s cock. the clenching of your walls made sejanus moan loudly as he released inside of you. “oh fuuuck,” sejanus moaned out, thrusting his hips to ride out both of your orgasms.

and when you both finished, sejanus pulled out, laying down next to you. you both breathed heavily, relishing in the post orgasmic bliss. sejanus turned his head to look at you as you looked at him. “i hope that helped,” he sighed.

you smiled, nodding your head. “it did, a lot,” you murmured. “thank you, sej.”

“anything for you, beautiful,” he replied.

suddenly, you heard a knock on the front door. you frowned as you hadn’t expected anyone to be coming over tonight, let alone at this time of night. “i’ll be right back,” you said, getting up from the bed. sejanus nodded his head at you as you walked over to grab your robe, putting it on and tying the belt around your waist to cover yourself up.

you walked out of your bedroom door, making your way to the front door. taking a deep breath, you opened the front door. and there, tall and blond, stood coriolanus snow with a bouquet of roses and red-brimmed eyes, looking down at you. you stood there shocked, your heart pounding in your chest at the realization of what you had just done.

and at that moment, sejanus walked out of your bedroom, dressed in his clothes but hair clearly disheveled. “who’s at the door?” sejanus asked, walking to stand behind you before looking at who was at the door. his eyes widened as he saw coriolanus standing there with now a confused and angry look on his face.

“what the fuck is this?” coriolanus asked angrily, his voice cracking as he spoke. and in that moment, he didn’t care because it most definitely does hurt to find out that his best friend fucked his ex girlfriend.

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wintfleur · 5 months

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ꔫ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ tis’ the season of snow and soft launches — Stella Hughes AU!

au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!

°. — asks about stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!

°. — pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X Rutger McGroarty )

°. — summary ( snow, soft launches, and confused brothers! )

°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )

stellahughes

liked by jamie.drysdale, adamfantilli, nicohischier and others

🏷️ lilybaileys, carmenbarlowe

stellahughes; lots of mallows are necessary ⛸️

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Lilybaileys I’m never skating with you two again, my back still hurts

carmenbarlowe it’s not our fault you’re a clumsy bitch

Lilybaileys ITS NOT MY FAULT I DON’T LIVE ON THE RINK LIKE YOU DO!

stellahughes @/carmenbarlowe she just said you don’t have a life 🤓☝️

username SOFT LAUNCH?!?!

username I want a group of friends like them 😿

username it wouldn’t be winter without stellas hot chocolate posts

carmenbarlowe thank you to that really pretty girl who took our group picture 😽

Lilybaileys quick! Stella’s thousands of followers please find this mystery girl, it’d be embarrassing if she was alone for another Christmas

stellahughes @/Lilybaileys phone now 👇

jackhughes UM EXCUSE ME?!?!

jackhughes ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE THE LAST 2 PICTURES?!

jackhughes ESTELLA HUGHES ANSWER YOUR PHONE RN!

username not jack raging in the comments 🤣

username2 I know it’s so hilarious

lhughes_06 hahah Stella answer your phone hahah.

lhughes_06 WE DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE STELLA, WHO IS THAT??

lhughes_06 @/markestapa IS THIS YOU??

markestapa i wish 😕

lhughes_06 nahh wtf

trevorzegras Currently heartbroken 💔

stellahughes ur so dramatic trev

jackhughes @/stellahughes YOU CAN RESPOND TO TREVOR BUT NOT ANSWER MY CALLS???

stellahughes OMG GO AWAY @/jackhughes

trevorzegras @/jackhughes it’s hard being the favorite 💪🏻

username so cute!

username that has to be Trevor!

username omg what if it’s Ethan?

luca.fantilli tiny hughes can pull??

stellahughes more then you 🫶🏻

Username UNCALLED FOR

lhughes_06 I leave and suddenly you have a boyfriend?!?!

username he’s not letting this go

colecaufield umm when did you start talking to boys?

stellahughes i’m not 12 anymore

colecaufield you sure dress like you are

stellahughes NAW

stellahughes @/colecaufield …I miss you ig 😕

colecaufield I miss you too stells

markestapa that should be me 💔

Lilybaileys okay Justin Bieber 👍🏻

username guys we all know

edwards.73 umm bestie, when was this 😁

lhughes_06 THATS WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.

stellahughes @/lhughes_06 ur obsessed go away

rutgermcgroarty marshmallows are the best

liked by stellahughes

username stella you look so pretty!

stellahughes thank you lovely, so do you 🫶🏻

username she’s not even pretty

username shes such a pick me

username her friends are probably using her for her brothers 😽

Lilybaileys bitch please

_quinnhughes glad you had fun! hot chocolate looks delicious

stellahughes thank you quinny! And it was I’ll make you some when I come and visit! 💙

jackhughes @/_quinnhughes ARE YOU BLIND?! SHES TOUCHING A BOY. A BOY IS TOUCHING HER.

_quinnhughes I can see? @/jackhughes

jackhughes OMG YOU KNOW WHO IT IS @/lhughes_06 QUINN KNOWS WHO IT IS!

lhughes_06 @/_quinnhughes WHO IS IT

lhughes_06 @/_quinnhughes ANSWER OR IM CALLING MOM

stellahughes I can’t stand you

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lhughes_06 replied to your story ‘what is with all the soft launches’

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( I hoped you guys enjoyed this! I’m super excited to write more about Stella and her life! Please don’t be a silent reader, I’d love to hear what you guys think so far! )

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mvltisstuff · 11 months

Note

Hey there! Idk if you write stuff like this, but what about an Evan Buckley coma fic? When he’s trying to come back he finds out reader is pregnant, while in the coma, and then when he wakes up he tells her he knows. If not that’s totally okay! 💛

put a little love on me - e.b

summary: request:)

evan buckley x reader

a/n: this was so fun to write, i loved how creative this is!

sitting in the hospital room with maddie and the buckley parents, y/n’s red eyes had cried more tears than ever. watching buck swing between life and death had been one of the lowest points in her life. she’s faced bad things before, but this was hell. she had a strong hold on his hand, praying that he would breathe on his own.

she thinks back to a few nights before, casually sitting at home after days of feeling ill. her husband had been at work, and she had called out from constant headaches. her curiosity had gotten the best of her.

pulling out a box from the back of the cabinets, she took the test out and placed it on the counter. she waited for what felt like hours for the damn test to say a word or two. the flashing was intolerable on the small screen.

she was sitting on the cold tile of their bathroom, running her hand through her hair. she swears she’s a patient person, but this was completely different. she stared at the test before the one word had been displayed across the test. pregnant.

meanwhile, bucks head had been mixed with his imagined life. a confused mix of the life he always wished for as a boy, and the one now that he wouldn’t change for anything. everything he had known had changed, for worse and for better. he felt loved by his parents, but y/n was gone.

the ghost of himself had his eyes painted on his still body. he was ready to climb back into himself, wanting to be with his wife until the end. everything else wasn’t important in this version of his life. he looked over at his brother, who he had no clue of before the last few years. he was tired, he wanted to stop fighting but seeing y/n’s heartbroken self on the chair, how could he stop?

“you have everything you could imagine here,” his brother says.

“no i don’t, i have to go back,” buck tells him. “i need my wife, i need y/n.”

he turns around and spots her behind him. she had a bright smile on his face, and was holding a little boy in her arms. she had been laughing with this child, and her eyes were shining. buck stared at them, looking at the boy with the same light blue eyes and full, pink lips. he had a small grin grow on his face, as the boy looked at him and smiled. the second he blinked, they faded away.

buck didn’t even feel the need to look at his brother again. he knew that was his life that he just saw, his future. the feeling he felt in his heart was something that had never happened before.

without second guessing himself. buck smashed through the glass window of the false reality he had snuck into. on the other side, y/n watched as his chest abruptly rose and fell again, the monitor beeping steadily. a light sob of relief left her lips, her head falling down with the tears on her cheeks. the same with maddie, who had come over and gave her a massive hug. suddenly, the lump in her throat and the boulder in her chest had vanished. he was going to be ok. she lifted his hand with her own, kissing the matching rings.

after an agonizing wait, buck had opened his eyes and softly spoken back. his monotone expression had finally disappeared at the sight of the love of his life sitting next to him. he forced out a toothy grin at her. “welcome back, baby.”

buck didn’t know what to say, something felt different. he looked her up and down, and felt a rising anxiety in his chest. he knew that the lightning has changed him, and he’d never be the same, but there was still a gift hiding under all this. “i know,” he says with a raspy voice.

“what?”

“baby, i know,” he says, smiling once more. “i’m gonna be a dad, and you’re a mom. and we’re going to be perfectly ok.”

it was y/n’s turn to be speechless. she was still calculating how he would know in his head. she hasn’t told a soul, but the ecstasy of the moment had overwhelmed her. her eyes had become glossy for the millionth time, and she passionately kissed him. she nods before she speaks again.

“yeah, yeah we are, buck.”

#911 #911onfox #bobby nash #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buckley fanfic #athena grant #evan buck buckley x reader #evan buckley x reader #henrietta wilson #howie han #maddie buckley #evan buckley x y/n #evan buckley fanfiction #evan buckley one shot

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midgardian-witch · 9 months

Note

i saw you made a moon knight fic based off an ethel cain song, and i was wondering if you could make one based off her song michelle pfeiffer idk it just screams moon boys to me 😻🫶🏽🫶🏽 i’m so sorry for bothering you with this i just HADDD to ask

have a lovely day and don’t overwork yourself 🫶🏽

You are absolutely not bothering me with this! Thank you so much for your kind message and your request 💙 I really hope you like this drabble and that you're having a lovely day yourself ☺️

Home's Not Home Unless You're There

ships: Moon Knight System/Reader

AO3

Marc was the one that started it all.

One morning you woke up and he was gone; bags packed, wardrobe and bookshelves cleaned out. He even took his toothbrush with him. He had left you with only the memories of your time together, nothing else.

He took one last look at your half-naked, sleeping form and then left. He turned into a ghost, laying low, not moving too far away but always just out of reach. This wasn’t the first time he did something like this after all.

It was for the best - or so he told himself.

Marc knew that if he would have stuck around longer, he would drag you both down (and with his luck ‘down’ meant 6 feet under). He didn’t deserve you. Everything he touched turned to ash and he couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you too.

He couldn’t hurt you if he was gone.

So what if he spends endless nights alone, drowning his sorrows in booze (just like his mother; she’d laugh at him, tell him what a pathetic, selfish boy he was - if she was still alive) and thinks about all the different ways he could crawl back to you?

He won’t. He can’t. If he did all of this was for nothing.

In that space between tipsy and blackout drunk he wonders if maybe he is addicted to suffering. If it was just another fucked up part of his brain that needed to feel pain to live, or maybe it was his heart? Why else does he keep running away?

When those thoughts start he just cracks open another bottle.

Steven was the one that suffered the loudest.

When he woke up in the morning, having to deal with another of Marc's hangovers, he felt like crying.

He missed you. Everything around him reminded him of you and your absence in his life.

Marc got them a new flat and even here Steven saw you in everything; everything conjuring a memory of you together. They lived here now but it wasn’t their home. It could never be their home if you're not there with them.

He wants to call you but Marc deleted your number. He wants to go and see you, apologize for what happened and fall back into your arms but everytime he tries he blacks out, loses time again and finds himself back at their new flat. He wants to scream at Marc, beg and reason with him, make him see that this was all a mistake, that they need you in their life but everytime Marc hides in the darkest corners of their headspace.

He feels more lost than he did when he first found out about Marc and Jake. He feels alone, so utterly alone even when Jake tries to reassure him that they will be alright, that things will get better.

Without you there he doesn’t believe any of it.

Jake was the one to end it.

Jake had been patient. He waited for Marc to see reason but instead he watched his brother hurt himself more and more until all that was left was a heartbroken, sad shell of a man. He watched Steven rage against Marc’s decisions until he couldn’t anymore, until even he was a burned out husk of his former self.

He was their protector and he had been idle for too long.

And he missed you. Even inside the headspace all he could think about was the sound of your voice, of your laugh, the feeling of your skin and lips on his, the way you smell in the morning after a long night of lovemaking.

Did you think about them too? Did you hate them? Did you miss them the same way they missed you?

He was tired of wondering, tired of watching his brothers fall apart when there was a simple solution to their suffering.

So when his brothers were sound asleep Jake took over. With a clear goal in mind he got into his car and made his way to you. He drove like a man possessed until he reached the familiar building. It was late, the sun had already fled the sky hours ago. For a moment he worried he would wake you, or worse, that you would not be there. To his relief there was light in your window.

An old neighbor let him into the building, recognizing his face. He thanked them with a smile before continuing on his path. When he finally reached the door to your flat, his hands were shaking - all his calm gone just by the thought of seeing you again.

Before he can overthink his plan he knocks on the door. He can hear your footsteps, and even something so trivial is making his heart ache. But nothing prepared him for the way his heart stops beating for a second when he sees you again as you open the door.

You look like you hadn’t slept in weeks, like you had been crying every day since they had left - and yet you had never looked more beautiful.

Your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. He takes a step forward, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I am so sorry, mi vida. We are sorry. Can you forgive us?”

He can’t hear your reply, muffled as it is as you all but tackle him with your embrace, your face buried in his shirt. Your fists pound against his chest with no energy behind them. You’re angry, frustrated, but most of all relieved.

They are back. And they won’t leave again.

The four of you had a lot to talk about: worries, feelings, fears. There are so many questions unanswered but that was for later.

All he knows is this: You will get through this; you’ll survive whatever comes together. Because they are finally home now.

#moon knight x reader #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #moon knight system x reader #moon knight/reader #marc spector/reader #steven grant/reader #jake lockley/reader #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #moon knight #moon knight fanfic #fran-writes

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iiconicxpersona · 9 months

Text

Whatever It Takes.

Javier Peña x f!Reader

Warnings: this fic features a scene from s02e03 Our Man in Madrid and that episode is a trigger warning in its own, but if you need specifics then this fic includes ANGST, mvrder, su!c!d3 attempt, depression, alcoholism. MINORS DNI & READ AT YOUR OWN RISK (I cannot stress that enough)

Word count: 3.4k

Summary: You and Javier get tagged along in a manhunt gone wrong with the return of Colonel Carrillo. After the tragedy that occurs, you look to Javier for comfort only to get heartbroken when he seeks comfort from another woman.

From the moment you were assigned the Escobar case in Bogotá, you prepared yourself for the best and the worst. You knew that once this case was finally over, and God only knew how long that would take, you would not return to Texas like the woman you were when you left. However, it didn’t seem to matter exactly how much you prepared yourself ahead of time in all aspects; nothing was ever going to prepare you for all the horrors you had witnessed and the ones still yet to come.

“We’re all in. Whatever it takes.”

Words you, Agent Javier Peña, and Agent Steve Murphy repeated to each other almost frequently to remind yourselves and each other that this is what you signed up for when you agreed to do whatever it took to catch Escobar and every single person whoever took a single dollar from him. Of course, Messina and the entire force did everything they could to keep your missions restricted, but to catch a bad guy; you must be willing to break some rules.

━◦○◦━◦○◦━

Colonel Carrillo was the King of playing by his own rules. His methods were cruel and relentless, but they were effective in one way or another. But those same methods ultimately led him to be transferred to Spain. When he was brought back on the team by the Colombian government, it shook you to the core, and the only problem was that you could no longer tell if that was good or bad.

━◦○◦━◦○◦━

The first mission at hand with Colonel Carrillo is to track down every spotter Escobar had hiding in the area. It seems simple enough, considering the spotters were mainly children under eighteen.

“Peña, Y/L/N, you come with me.” Carrillo orders.

You and Javier exchange looks of concern to each other and then to Steve, who's disappointed when Carrillo tells him to stay behind for radio contact.

“You be careful out there,” Steve adds as you and Javier follow Carrillo to one of the unmarked cars.

“You got your vest on?” Javier asks without looking at you.

You nod and pat your stomach hard enough to make the bulletproof padding audible. “I never leave without it.”

“Good. This could get ugly, so I want you to always stay beside me. Understand?” He finally looks at you while still walking forward.

“Jesus, Javi, this isn’t my first rodeo.” You scoff.

He rolls his eyes, clearly not amused by your comment. “Cariño, I’m fucking serious. These kids are dangerous, and the last thing I want is for you to underestimate one, and he holds you at gunpoint or worse.”

Just then, you remembered what Javi had told you the day Steve’s adopted baby girl, Oliva, was rescued, and you instantly regretted trying to be sarcastic. He never told Steve, but while they were chasing down the two men responsible for murdering Olivia’s biological family and you were in the house guarding her, Javier came close to catching one of the men until a little boy caught him off guard from behind and held him at gunpoint. Javier was sure that at any moment, the kid would pull the trigger and kill him, or worse, he would miss his shot, and Javier would have to kill the kid instead. Thankfully, once the guy he was chasing got away, so did the kid, and ever since then, Javier knew that with the right amount of money and power, Escobar could make anyone do anything.

“Always stay beside me. Understand?” Javier demandingly repeated.

You nod. “I understand.”

━◦○◦━◦○◦━

One by one, each kid that Escobar hired as a spotter was taken into custody. However, Carrillo had other plans instead of taking them straight to the station for interrogation like you and Javier thought.

Given Carrillo's extreme methods in the past, you should’ve known that this wouldn’t be as simple as you had hoped. Though you figured that because they were just kids, what could go wrong?

Everything.

One right next to the other, at least seven boys are lined up in the middle of a dark alley with their hands behind their heads and sitting upright on their knees. You stand next to Javier off in the distance while Carrillo paces slowly in front of them. As you examine their faces, it breaks your heart to see how young they are. Some look at least sixteen, but the youngest looks six or seven.

They try to keep stone-cold faces on while Carrillo attempts to scare them straight. A couple of the boys laugh at him and make insults in Spanish.

“Shut up, kid.” Javier mumbles.

You do your best to look as emotionless as possible, but mentally, you are frightened to know what is going through Carrillo’s mind, especially when he pulls out his gun and begins loading it in front of them.

One of the older boys laughs and asks Carrillo if he should be scared.

“No,” Carrillo replies.

BANG.

You stood there and watched the now young lifeless body slowly fall to the ground. Aside from the streetlights, the alleyway is pitch dark due to the summer evening, but you’d swear you could see everywhere the boy’s blood had splattered as if it happened in daylight.

It took every fiber in your being not to lose your cool or vomit at the scene. You were even too afraid to reach for Javier, who was only a couple of inches away from you, for some comfort. Although judging from how his body tensed up and the look on his face, he was just as distraught inside as you were.

What was Carrillo thinking? Even if the kid tried to be a fearless macho man about it, he was still just a kid. There were plenty of other ways Carrillo could’ve tried to prove a point to them about the dangers of working with someone like Escobar. Regardless of whether you liked it, he gave them a harsh reality check.

Carrillo then takes one bullet from his gun and hands it to the youngest boy, telling him to give it to Escobar and let him know who it is from. You watch helplessly as the boy takes the bullet with tears running down his face and stuffs it in his pocket. Then Carrillo finally sets the remaining boys free. You immediately cling to Javier once they are out of sight.

He hesitates for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around you, still in shock from what just happened as you tried your best to hold back your sobs.

“Cariño…” Javier struggles to find the right words. How could he comfort you when he couldn’t convince himself that everything was fine? “We have to go.” He finally said.

Whatever it takes.

━◦○◦━◦○◦━

This is one of those nights you wish Javier wouldn’t depend on a cheap hooker to help him forget.

About six months ago, after almost losing you during a shootout mission, Javier suggested that you move in with him “for your safety,” which you hesitantly accepted two months later. Murphy always teased how Javier always had a soft spot for you, and although you couldn’t deny you also had a soft spot for Javier, you tried to keep your crush precisely that: just a crush. Even if it nearly killed you inside when he would come home late smelling of sex, cheap perfume, and cigarettes.

While staring blankly at a pile of paperwork, your mind couldn’t stop replaying what happened less than an hour ago. Steve tried talking to you about how frustrated he was about Carrillo not trusting him to tag along with the mission, but his words only went in one ear and out of the other.

“You should be grateful.” You finally spoke up, still not taking your eyes off the paperwork.

At that moment, Steve gave up on his argument. As much as he hated feeling like an outsider because of his looks, nationality, or poor Spanish, he knew his troubles were nothing compared to what you and Javier were going through at this very moment.

You could hear Javier mumbling under his breath on the phone at his desk, which generally meant he was talking to one of his hookers. At that point, you were already two shots deep in tequila and resting your head on your arms to hide your face like the game you used to play at school as a kid.

You hated the jealous feeling that crept up inside you as he talked to her about meeting with her in the next half an hour.

Why tonight of all nights? Or if he needed a good fuck to help him forget, then why couldn’t it be with you? You were there. You saw everything happen just as he did. Did it ever occur to him that maybe you needed a night of meaningless sex to help you forget everything too? In all the years you had known Peña, he had no shame in screwing every woman in sight, but he never once offered to put his hands on you. Sure, you flirt with each other almost every day, but would there ever be more? Were you not pretty enough? Or not skinny enough? Or because you didn’t open your legs to every man in sight?

“Cariño, you all right?” Javier’s low voice startles you out of your thoughts. He places his hands on your shoulders and begins to massage you once you sit up and lean back into your chair, feeling your body relax under his touch.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You lie. Your voice is now hoarse from choking back all the tears and emotions.

Javier leans down and wraps his arms around your upper body with his chin resting on your shoulder. “Don’t you disappear on me, okay?”

You nod, and he kisses your cheek and gives you one last squeeze.

“I gotta run a few errands, but I’ll be home late.”

Desperation kicks into high gear, and you cling to his arms for dear life. “Wait, you’re leaving?”

“It’s just for a few hours. I need to clear my head. You understand, right?” He pulls away from you once your grip loosens, but you still reach for him.

“Well yeah, but…”

“But what!” He snaps at you in frustration.

Then it hits you in that very second like a ton of bricks: you and Javier Peña will never be more than just friends.

You let go of his hand when the tears build up again. “You know what? Just go. I won’t wait up.”

Realizing what he had just done, a wave of guilt washes over Javier, and he slowly steps towards you. “Shit, cariño I’m sor…”

“I said go!”

━◦○◦━◦○◦━

By the night's end, you had already downed most of the tequila. Murphy knew Javier would kill him if he had let you go home by yourself, so being the southern gentleman he is, he gave you a ride home.

On the inside, you were trying to fight off too many emotions. You didn’t dare to let Steve see you cry, especially after witnessing your little moment with Javier. For what? So that he can tell Javi, and they can laugh at how pathetic you are behind your back? Though you knew they would never do that, it was still a fear that helped keep your emotions in check.

“Thanks for the ride, Murphy.” You half smiled at him.

“Of course.” He could hear the pain in your voice, but he tried his best to keep cool. You’re already going through enough as it is. “Hey, just know I’m right next door if you need anything.”

“You’re a good man, Steve. Connie’s a lucky girl.” You lean in to give him a small peck on the cheek before letting yourself out of the car.

You dread every single step toward your shared apartment with Javi. You dread it so much that if you were stable enough, you’d walk to your old apartment two buildings over. Most of your stuff is still there, considering you had just moved in with Javier four months ago. You had only brought essential things like clothes, makeup, bathroom stuff, and a few sentimental values. But the fact that you were barely making it on your own to Javi’s front door was enough to make you rethink.

Once you stumble inside, the first thing you noticed was how quiet it is. Too quiet. Not that you and Javi were noisy people when he didn’t have women over, which thankfully wasn’t often ever since you moved in. But even then, the apartment is never this quiet. You hate the silence. It only made the events of tonight replay louder and louder in your brain.

Throwing off your coat and shoes, you let them land wherever as you make your way to the radio and turn it on to a local rock station with the volume on full blast. You swerve over to Javier’s liquor cabinet and mindlessly scan around at each of his selections. The one bottle of bourbon he saved for special occasions had caught your eye. Judging from how rich the bottle looks, it must be one of his most expensive liquors. Your conscious told you to stop, but the music and your drunk state of mind were enough to tune it out. You grab the bottle from the glass shelf and gnaw the cap off before downing the liquor like water.

You never smoked a cigarette, but once you found Javier’s carton in the cabinet, you pulled out a fresh pack and ripped off the plastic wrap. Javier was already a heavy smoker as it was, but he seemed to smoke a lot more when he was stressed out, and you wanted to know what it was like. If it helps Javi calm down, why wouldn’t it help you?

You flick the first white stick out of the small paper box as if you were already a natural to smoking. Not that you would admit it out loud, but after seeing Javi do it a few times, you were tempted and tried it for shits and giggles.

Lighting the stick between your lips, you inhaled deeply only to choke out the nicotine and smoke immediately. “I can’t believe Javi likes this shit.” You gag.

The first few puffs were disgusting, and if it weren’t for the bourbon making it easier to wash down the horrid taste, you would’ve thrown up after the first puff. But soon enough, you were already on your second and third cigarette. Each smoke is smoother than the last.

Dancing around in the living room in a tank top and panties, with a cigarette in your mouth and another bottle of whiskey in your hands, you were on cloud nine, and for the first time that night, nothing else mattered. You weren’t aware of how much you had already drunk or how you were already almost finished with the first pack of cigarettes. You even forgot you were in Javier’s apartment until the clock caught your attention. It’s 2:30 am, and Javier still isn’t home. If you were sober, you probably would’ve been worried sick about him, but his delay made you angry. He didn’t have to spend the night with another cheap hooker, and if he did feel the need to, he could’ve at least called you to let you know he wasn’t coming home.

How dare he? After everything you two had been through tonight, how dare he leave you alone? How dare he not be here so you two can try to comfort each other? How dare he yell at you in front of Murphy, embarrassing you when you only wanted him to stay? How dare he be a typical douchebag and leave you just to get his dick wet by some random bitch he barely knows? How dare he not see that you care about him so damn much? How fucking dare Javier Peña!?

At that moment, you refused to reason anymore and instead let your anger-fueled adrenaline take complete control of your body.

His precious liquor cabinet is the first item to fall victim to your rage. You push it off the wall with full force and watch it slowly crash to the ground, just like the little boy did in the alley. Then you grab every bottle that didn’t break in the fall and throw them in random areas of the living room. Only the shattering noise, your cries, and the loud music fill the void that is Javier’s apartment.

━◦○◦━◦○◦━

You don’t remember how you wound up on the bathroom floor next to the toilet with more bourbon in one hand and your pistol in the other. Your adrenaline was still pumping through your veins uncontrollably, and you couldn’t feel any of the cuts that formed all over your body from the broken glass. Miraculously, none of which were too deep to leave a permanent scar.

There’s no telling how long ago your rampage began, but suddenly the radio that was once blaring rock music had gone silent. You didn’t care. You sat there hugging your knees with the hand holding the pistol while continuing to drink.

You could hear heavy footsteps slowly inching closer to the bathroom, and then he turned the corner with his pistol pointing directly at you.

“C—Cariño…” Javier mumbled in shock.

He was about to rush to you, but then he froze in place the second you extended your arm and aimed your pistol at him. “Don’t. Come. Any. Closer.” You demand.

Suddenly, every ounce of color was flushed from Javi’s face. He slowly put his gun down on the sink and raised his hands in surrender. The image made you chuckle as he slowly dropped to his knees before you.

“Baby, plea—”

“SHUT UP!” You scream, and it catches you both off guard. “All I wanted was for you to stay with me. To help me forget. But no! Typical Javier Peña; you had to think with your dick! You didn’t even care enough to call me to let me know when you’ll be home or to see if I was all right. Do you realize that I probably would’ve never made it home if it wasn't for Murphy? Thank God he’s a fucking decent human being, unlike you!” At this point, you couldn’t hold back the tears as you cock the gun, making Javier tense up in fear for the second time.

“Cariño, I’m sorry. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I should’ve been here for you, and I know that now. But please don’t do this.” Javier pleaded.

“It’s too late.” You choke out.

Javier felt his heart stop when you pointed the gun barrel at your temple. In his mind, he had already snatched the gun from your hand, but physically he couldn’t move.

However, once you pulled the trigger, the only sound filling the apartment was a click.

You gasp at the reality of what you were about to do and drop everything in your hands. Only then did Javier find the strength to stumble over and embrace you tightly in his arms.

You hyperventilate and bawl into his shirt as Javi tries to calm you down. Once again, your hands cling to him for dear life. “I’m so sorry, Javi!” You cry.

“Shh. Shh. It’s all right, baby. It’s all right. I’m here now.” He strokes your hair and slowly rocks you back and forth in his arms until you finally fall asleep.

Javier gently picks you up bridal style and carries you to his room, where he could grab a wet towel and some hydrogen peroxide to clean some of your cuts off before tucking you into bed. He took a second to sit there and stare at you as you slept peacefully. If he didn’t feel guilty before, he does now.

Javier sometimes liked to think of himself as a sharp man, but he was blind when it came to you. Murphy often told him that anyone could see you two were head over heels for each other, but he never accepted it as the truth. He never thought you cared about him as more than a friend. And he blew it when he finally had his chance to prove to you that he was worthy of your heart.

There was no telling how long it would take you to forgive him, but he was willing to do whatever it took to regain your trust. He’s all in now, and this time, he wouldn’t make this mistake again.

#narcos #narcos fic #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x y/n #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 1 month

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Never Say Never

Chapter 14

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 8.9K

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

You grinned, holding out your arms when you spotted Eli coming out of the school with Jeremiah, waiting for the usual running hug you received that almost knocked you over now that your boy was getting bigger. But instead, your little boy just trudged slowly over to you, his head hung down toward the sidewalk beneath his feet. Your heart seized, just like it always did when your son looked anything but happy.

It was one of those moments of being a parent that reminded you how inextricably your heart was linked to theirs, your happiness, your very life. There was nothing that would smash through a good day with the force of a wrecking ball like seeing your child heartbroken. And right now, Eli looked like someone had taken a sledgehammer to that beautiful little organ in his chest.

“Uh-oh, it doesn’t look like someone had a very good day,” Steve muttered softly next to you as Jeremiah walked up to him, not looking much happier than Eli. He ruffled his son’s hair. “Hey kid. How was school?”

Jere shrugged, “Okay.”

“Just okay? No crazy stories to tell today?”

“Not really.” The boy sighed, the sound so big it took up his whole body, glancing over at Eli who was standing stiff and quiet next to you.

You didn’t like this. Both boys were far too subdued. Their usual excitement and chattiness after school was nowhere to be found. Eli’s arms were wrapped tightly around his middle as if he were protecting himself from some unseen danger or trying to hold something in that was threatening to fall out.

“Hey buddy,” you said softly, placing your hands on your knees, leaning over so your eyes were at his level. “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” he snapped shortly, turning his body quickly as you reached for him, rejecting your touch. “Can we just go home?”

Steve shared a worried look with you. You stood up straight, offering your son your hand but he didn’t take it, your heart breaking just a little at his refusal of even this small comfort.

Steve stepped forward, dropping to his knees in front of Eli, “Did something happen at school?”

“I said I want to go home,” he stubbornly replied, refusing to look at Steve.

“I know and your mom’s going to take you home but you know, if something happened, you can talk to us. Talking about stuff usually helps me feel better.”

“Nothing happened and even if it did I don’t want to talk to you about it,” Eli growled and then stomped away.

But he paused when he got to the curb, remembering he wasn’t supposed to walk into the parking lot alone. So instead he just stood, arms folded, glaring off into the distance. It should have been comical how he still followed the rules even when he was so angry but you were unable to find anything remotely amusing about this situation.

You could see the hurt etched across Steve’s beautiful face. But he recovered quickly, rising to his feet. Stepping into him, you kissed his cheek, offering him a sympathetic smile. You appreciated that he was trying to help but this one might have to be on you. You just hoped he wasn’t taking Eli’s rejection too hard.

“Thanks for trying. I’m sorry he said that. He doesn’t mean it. Not really. He’s just upset right now. He adores you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” He was trying to shake it off but not doing the best job of it. You could see Eli’s dismissal had rattled him. It had to be jarring when the kid usually worshiped the ground he walked on most of the time. “Yeah. It’s fine. I just thought…you know…maybe he’d talk to me guy to guy or something but it’s fine.”

“I’m going to talk to him,” you assured him, resting your hands against his chest. “I’ll figure out what’s going on.”

“Sure looks like he might be a tough egg to crack.”

You smiled, “This isn’t my first rodeo with moody Eli.” You winked. “Trust me. I’ll get him to tell me.”

Jeremiah spoke up, “Brent told him he doesn’t have a dad.”

“What?” Steve turned to his son.

The boy shrugged, “We were at recess playing superheroes. We were wearing the capes that Mrs. Perry always lets us borrow from the dress-up bin and Brent was picking on us like he always does. He said we were gay because we liked to dance around in capes and that we were gay for each other. Eli got mad and said he’d rather be gay than be a jerk. Then Brent said at least he still had a dad and that was why Eli was running around in a cape because he didn’t have a dad to show him how to act like a real boy.”

A boulder the size of a small town was pressing down on your chest, a tidal wave churning your stomach, as you took in Jeremiah’s words. You swayed on your feet, your eyes darting to the pink shirt with flamingos that the art teacher was wearing, the bright yellow shoes on a child’s feet running past, the rainbow painting that adorned the window of a kindergarten classroom.

Steve hand found yours, fingers slipping between your own and he squeezed tightly, grounding you. You focused on the pressure of his hand, the tips of his fingers pressing into your palm, as you listened to the sound of children talking, bringing yourself slowly back from the brink. Steve was murmuring something in your ear and as your heart rate calmed, you could finally focus on his words.

“I know you’re upset and you have every right to be. But I’m right here with you. You’re safe. Breathe for me.” As you opened your eyes and nodded, he gave you a small smile before turning back to his son. “Brent? Is his dad the one that has that giant American flag attached to the bed of his pickup truck?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that explains it,” he grumbled. “His parents are ignorant assholes. Of course they’re raising a kid who’s a little jerk. They’re probably proud of his bullying. His mom was the one at the PTO meeting yelling about the kids reading James and the Giant Peach because it promoted mysticism and that went against the bible.” He rolled his eyes and then began looking around. “Are they still here? I’d be more than happy to have a talk with them.”

“Steve…”

“Seriously honey. That’s bullshit. How dare that kid say something about his dad. How cruel can that little shit be? He’s going after a kid for having a dead parent?”

“Steve…” you tried again.

“That’s his truck.” He pointed. “It’s hard to miss. He’s got to make sure everyone knows what fucking country he lives in. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he knows just what an asshole he’s raising his kid to be.”

He began to step in the direction of the truck and you jumped in front of him, holding your hands out to block him. Those hazel eyes met yours and the fury you saw there, the absolute anger for your son and what someone had put him through, knocked the wind right out of your body. Because that four letter word began flashing like a beacon in your mind, the word you were trying so hard to ignore.

“Steve, stop. I appreciate what you’re trying to do. Really I do. But you know as well as I do that nothing you say to that dad is going to change the way he thinks. You can’t change someone who doesn’t see anything wrong with the way they think. Those kinds of people are convinced they’re right because they have God on their side and nothing you say will make a difference. It’s only going to cause a bigger problem. I’ve got it, okay? I will get Eli some hot chocolate with marshmallows when we get home and he and I will talk. I’ll have him right as rain before you and Jere come over later.”

“Are you sure? Because I can handle myself. That guy doesn’t scare me. I know he’s big but you know what they say? The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

“I am not doubting your ability to take him down,” you smiled, reaching out to squeeze his biceps assuringly. “You are a very strong man, Steve. I am sure you could lay him out but I am sure. I would rather focus on what I can change which is Eli’s reaction to people being mean. There will always be awful people in this world and my son has to learn how to navigate that.”

“Okay. If you’re sure…” His hands came to his hips, eyes down on the sidewalk before he finally looked back up at you. He was letting it go but you could see how much it pained him to do so. “I’ll be there around five so you can head out to meet the girls, okay?”

“I’ll see you at five.”

A quick kiss and then you were walking next to your surly child across the parking lot to the car. Your stomach rolled, knowing this was going to be a tough conversation to have with him, knowing it was going to be difficult to even get him to tell you what happened.

Your sweet boy, always concerned about you. You already knew why he was keeping it secret, why he felt he needed to just squash it down and live with it. He thought that telling you would make you sad. Eli lived with the fear that his mom would disappear on him again, retreating into that dark shell you had disappeared into for a while after Justin had died. But you needed to show him that you were strong, that you weren't going to fall apart at the mere mention of his death, that you could be there for him, that he didn’t have to shoulder so much of it on himself.

The car ride home was silent. You kept stealing glances in the rearview mirror but your son kept his focus out the window the entire time. You kept the music off, allowing him to feel what he was feeling, to stew in it for a bit before you tried to get him out of it.

Your therapist was always telling you not to fight your emotions, to let them come. It was okay to feel. It was okay to be sad. It was okay to be angry. We had to allow it in, recognize it for what it was, and only then could we try to move past it. Eli’s therapist had told you much of the same thing.

You'd had some rough moments the first year after Justin’s passing. Eli had lashed out, throwing things and screaming. He would burst into tears over the simplest inconveniences. He was feeling big emotions that his five year old body didn’t know how to handle. Sometimes those things still reared their head for no logical reason whatsoever. But as you'd learned, there was no time limit on grief and it would hit in the weirdest ways at the weirdest times and it was okay.

You pulled in the drive and before you could even get out of the car, Eli was stomping up the sidewalk and waiting on the porch. You quietly followed, unlocking the door, watching as he unceremoniously dropped his backpack to the ground. He tried to escape up the stairs but you stopped him.

“Eli, please don’t go up to your room yet. I would like to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Because I can tell that something is bothering you. If something happened that made you mad, that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel mad but you still need to talk about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he grumbled.

“I know you don’t but if it’s because you think that you’re going to make me sad…you know, that’s okay. It’s okay if I feel sad. I am not going to crumble or hide in my room anymore from being sad. I don’t want you to be scared to talk to me.”

“I’m not scared. I’m just angry. I’m furious! I hate Brent!”

“Hate is a really strong word.”

“Well, I feel really strong about it!” he screamed, his little face as red as a tomato. “He’s so mean! He said I’m not like a boy because I don’t have a dad! He said I’m gay like gay is bad but it’s not! He’s always saying stuff like that to people! He told Chris that it’s no wonder he has poor people shoes because his mom spends all her money on beer! He smacked Beth’s cookie out of her hand and told her she didn’t need it because she’s fat! He’s always mean! The teacher sends him to the office and calls his parents but it doesn’t change! He’s still mean!”

“And that makes you angry.”

“Yes, it makes me angry! I wish I was bigger so I could punch him in the nose but he’s so much bigger than me. And if daddy were here then he could teach me how to be tough because he was a soldier and he was tough. Or he could go punch Brent’s dad and tell him to have Brent leave people alone but he’s not here!”

“Oh honey…your dad was tough but he wouldn’t have punched somebody like that.” You moved toward him, dropping down in front of him. “Your dad would have tried to teach you how to handle people like that and violence isn’t the answer. A kid like Brent, he just wants to hurt people. He wants to see them sad or angry. Maybe because he’s so sad and angry that he thinks it will make him feel better but it won’t. But when people like him don’t get what they want, they move onto someone else. You have to be confident in who you are and know that nothing he says means anything. No one gets to define who you are but you.”

“But he shouldn’t be allowed to say that stuff!”

“No. He shouldn’t. And in a perfect world, no one would ever be that cruel but it’s not a perfect world. You’re going to come across people like Brent your whole life. Eli, I still come across people like that. It doesn’t stop. You can’t control what they say or how they act. All you can do is control how you respond.”

“Well, that just sucks.”

“It does,” you agreed. “But you can choose to be a good part of the world and I believe the more good people there are, they can outweigh the bad ones. If you all stick together and stand up to him, not just you but all the kids he’s picking on, he’ll back off. There’s strength in numbers and bullies don’t like an unfair fight.”

“So we should all beat him up together?”

“No,” you chuckled, shaking your head. “That’s not what I’m saying. But if you all stand together and tell him you’re not taking it anymore, tell him we feel angry when you call us names and say mean things and we want you to stop. Isolate him. Try to get the rest of the class to stick together at lunch and recess and don’t include him. Show him that if he acts that way then no one will want to be around him.”

“But what about Travis and Ricky? They follow him everywhere.”

“Well, maybe if you all ignore them too that will change. They’ll see that hanging out with him doesn’t have the perks they think it does. People who stick to a bully usually do it because they’re getting something in return. Sometimes it’s simply because then the bully isn’t picking on them. But if he has nobody else to pick on, I am betting he will turn on them and they’ll change their mind pretty quickly.”

Eli considered your words for a minute and then nodded, “Okay. I still think he needs a punch in the nose but I won’t do that. Monday I am going to try to get all the kids together at recess and tell them the plan.”

“There you go.”

“Thanks mommy.”

“Anytime sweetie, you know that.” You pulled him into a hug. “Don’t ever be scared to tell me what’s going on. It’s my number one job to make sure you are safe, healthy, and happy.”

“I know.”

“And I know that it scares you that I am going to go to that dark place again.” You ran her hand over his hair, breathing in that little boy scent that was fading far too quickly. “But I’m not. Mommy’s done a lot of work to get to a better place and I know what to do now if I’m feeling that way. I have my doctor just like you have yours and I can call her any time. I am not going to disappear on you again, okay?”

“Okay…I just don’t like to see you sad. And I feel like you’re always sad when we talk about Daddy.”

“I’m not always sad. But yes, sometimes it makes me sad because I miss him so much. Just like you do. But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about him. We do that all the time. I tell you stories about him all the time. Because while it’s unfair that he was taken from us, we were so lucky to get to have him for the time we did.”

“I just wish he was still here. It sucks not having a daddy.”

“I know it does, baby.” You squeezed him harder, wishing you could make all that sadness disappear but unfortunately this was one thing you would never be able to fix for your son. “I know it does. But remember, you do have a daddy. Sadly, he’s not here anymore but you do have one. And he never would have chosen to leave you. He loved you more than anything in the world.”

“Even more than pizza?” Eli asked with a smile.

You laughed because you'd shared with your son how much his dad loved pizza. It was why they ordered it every Friday night. Justin had always wanted pizza. Even for his birthday dinner he would request pizza and you would tease him, telling him that wasn’t special because they’d just had it last week.

“Yeah, even more than pizza.”

The sound of the phone ringing broke up your moment and you pressed your finger gently to your son’s nose, earning a smile in return. Rising to your feet, you grabbed the cordless from the end table, pressing it against your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hello dear. Is Eli there?” Judith asked sweetly and you handed your son the phone without even responding, making your way into the kitchen.

“Hi grandma!”

His words flowed into the kitchen as you made yourself a cup of coffee. After your conversation with her just three days ago, you had nothing to say to Judith right now. Nothing that you trusted yourself to say anyway. The woman had immediately started in on you because Eli had told her that mommy had a boyfriend. The questions came shooting at you, one after another, so fast you couldn’t have answered them if you tried.

Who is this man?

How well do you know him?

Is he educated? Does he have a good job?

How long have you been seeing him?

Don’t you think it’s a bit soon for him to be meeting Eli?

It didn’t matter that you had told her that Eli had been friends with his son before you started dating. She wouldn’t listen to the fact that Steve was Eli’s baseball coach so he already knew him. Judith was already digging in her heels, convincing herself that this man would not be good enough to have around her grandson. And the cycle just continued itself with the focus on Steve now instead of you.

“Yeah. He said at least he has a dad and I don’t have one so I don’t know how to be a boy. But I told him that I was going to have a dad soon because Steve’s going to be my dad.”

The mug slipped from your fingers, smashing against the tile floor as your son’s words reached your ears.

“Mommy, what was that?” Eli called.

You stared down at the shards of ceramic, the creamy brown liquid spreading across the gray floor. Your hands shook as you robotically crouched down, grabbing at the pieces. You had to pick them all up before Eli came in. He couldn’t cut himself. Wrapping your hand around a large chunk, the letters apolis oo all that was left of the mug that Justin had bought you when the three of you had gone on a long weekend to Indy with Eli, visiting the zoo and the children’s museum.

“Mommy?”

You stared at the letters as they slowly went fuzzy, your grasp on the piece tightening.

“Mommy, you’re bleeding!”

Your eyes moved to your hand, red trickling from within your closed fist, a slow scarlet river making its way over your wrist and down your arm to drop and mingle with the coffee on the floor.

“I don’t know grandma. Mommy broke a mug and she’s bleeding.”

“I’m okay,” you finally managed, opening your hand to release the jagged piece of ceramic. Your son. You kept your focus on your son. “Just stay back, honey. I don’t want you to cut yourself.”

“Grandma wants to talk to you.”

“Well, I can’t talk right now. I need to clean this and myself up,” you stammered, standing up. Moving to the sink, you turned on the water, allowing it to run over the cut. It was deep but not so deep that it would require stitches. “Just go sit in the living room. I am going to wrap my hand and then I will clean this up.”

“Grandma, mommy can’t talk. She has to get a bandaid and clean,” Eli explained as he walked away.

Inhaling slowly, releasing the breath between pursed lips, you leaned against the sink. Jesus, this was just what you needed. Judith was going to have a field day with this one.

___________________________________________________________

“What should we do tonight?” Steve asked Jeremiah as they rode over to your house.

He was watching the boys while you went out with all of the girls for a few hours. What had started as a casual suggestion at Eli’s party turned into a plan within the course of a couple days. Nancy had been the one to call him and tell him he needed to watch Eli for you because they were taking you out Friday night. He just hoped they all took it easy on you. He loved his friends but they could be a bit overwhelming, especially for someone who wasn’t used to them yet.

“I don’t know.” Jeremiah shrugged sadly, that despondent look still on his face that had been there since Steve had picked him up from school. “I’m not sure if Eli will even want to play with me. He wouldn't even talk to me after Brent said all that mean stuff. Do you think he’s mad at me?”

“No. Why would he be?”

“I don’t know.” The little boy sighed, the sound filling the interior of the car with his misery. “I didn’t say anything when Brent said all that stuff to him. I should have told him what a big fat meanie he is.”

“Well, why didn’t you?”

“Because he’s scary, Daddy. He says the meanest stuff all the time and he’s big. What if he wanted to fight me or something? I know I pretend to be a superhero but I’m not really one. I don’t think I could win.”

“Being a superhero isn’t about hitting somebody, Jere. Sometimes it’s just about using your words to let someone know that what they’re doing is wrong. It’s about doing the right thing even when it’s hard. And I know that can be scary because then they might start saying those mean things to you. But if you and Eli stand up to him together then you won’t be alone. He needs to know that what he said isn’t okay. It was a really horrible thing to say to someone who experienced a loss like Eli has.”

“I know. Daddy…?” Steve’s eyes caught Jere’s in the mirror as his son asked, “Will you go to heaven like Eli’s daddy did? Because I don’t want that to happen. I would be really sad if I didn’t have you.”

His heart sank faster than a rock in the lake. Everything in him wanted to promise his son that nothing like that would happen. But there were no guarantees in life. No he wasn’t in the military but life was not promised. One day you could be fine and the next you were gone, sometimes without any warning.

“Well, buddy. Everybody dies eventually. You know that. But I don’t do a dangerous job like Eli’s daddy did. And I am a pretty healthy guy. I eat all my vegetables and exercise. So, I don’t see that happening any time soon.”

“Good.”

Jeremiah seemed satisfied with his answer and Steve was grateful for that. He hadn’t lied but he’d also assured him. And chances were he would be around for a long time but he couldn’t promise it. And he’d sworn to himself a long time ago that he wouldn’t promise his son anything that he couldn’t follow through on. The amount of broken promises that his parents had made to him as a kid could fill an Olympic sized swimming pool.

He pulled in the driveway and they were barely out of the car before Eli came racing out to grab Jere, much to his son’s surprise and joy, the two of them darting into the house and up to his room before Steve had even made it in the door. At least the kid seemed in better spirits. Whatever you had managed to do must have turned his mood around.

When Eli had said he didn’t want to talk to Steve, it had damn near gutted him. He knew he hadn’t been around that long but he felt like he’d bonded with the kid already. Clearly not enough for him to turn to him for comfort yet but they’d get there. He chose to set it aside and believe that one day Eli would allow him to be that person for him.

“Hey there.”

You came out of the kitchen, a smile on your face that didn’t quite turn up in the corners, tight and closed on your face. Eli’s mood may have been lifted but it appeared yours had taken a sudden plummet. He noticed your hand was wrapped up with white gauze and stepped toward you with concern.

“What happened?”

“Oh, nothing. Just me being clumsy as usual.” You laughed, the sound hollow, not at all the usual melodic sound that he found so pleasant. “I dropped a mug and when I was cleaning up the pieces, I accidentally cut myself.”

“Is it deep? Do you need stitches?” He reached to take your hand but you stepped back.

“No, no.” You waved him off, grabbing your purse from the hook with your good hand and draping it over your shoulder. “It’s not deep at all. I cleaned it and everything. It’s fine.” Your eyes darted around before you made for the coffee table, grabbing your keys. “Anyway, there’s a frozen pizza in there if you want or whatever. You’re welcome to anything you can find in the kitchen. I don’t think I’ll be out too late.”

Steve snorted. “You’ve never hung out with this crowd. Robin will keep you there forever just talking.”

“Well, I’ll try not to be out too late so you can get Jeremiah home.”

He shrugged as every nerve ending in his body was firing, letting him know that something was going on here. Something was definitely wrong and you were doing your best to not show it but failing at it miserably. He could read it in the way your shoulders tensed up by your ears, the way you gripped your keys in your unbandaged hand until your knuckles were white, the forced way you were trying to sound casual but was anything but.

“I don’t mind. He’s easy to haul. Once that kid is asleep he is dead to the world.” You went to move for the door and he placed his hand on your arm, stopping you. “Hey, did everything go okay with Eli earlier?”

You paused, the tip of your tongue running over your lip, “Uhh…yeah. I mean, he was sad but we talked about it. We talked about ways he could handle the situation and I think he’s feeling a lot better now that he has a plan.”

“Plan?”

“I told him to try to get all of the kids in class that this kid picks on to band together against him. If they tell him they won’t let him treat them like that and choose to stay away from him, who knows? Maybe that will be enough to change him. Bullies like that love attention and they love to get a reaction. If you take away their motivation, then it loses all the fun.”

“Huh…” Steve hadn’t ever really thought of that. He’d thought about teaching the boys some nasty comebacks or possibly even teaching them how to throw a punch. “How very diplomatic of you.”

“Well, I don’t want my son thinking violence solves everything. Besides, the kid has only used his words. As far as I know, he hasn’t put his hands on anyone. Mind you, they’re nasty words but you don’t have to put more evil into the world to win. I prefer to believe you can do that by being kind while also standing up for yourself. I want my son to set boundaries with people but I don’t want him swinging every time someone says something he doesn’t like.”

“No. I mean, that’s great. I just never thought of that. I mean, when I was in school, you always dealt with those people a certain way. You had to be faster with the insults or swing to show you were tougher.”

“Yeah and that’s the problem. You swing on someone when you’re an adult and you could find yourself in the back of a cop car.”

“Well…” He grinned, eyes rolling to the side with amusement. “Unless you happen to know the Chief of police.”

You stared at him, deadpan. “Even then punching someone like a neanderthal doesn’t solve anything. This world has enough violence in it. I would prefer my son didn’t add to it.”

“I get it. I’m just glad he talked to you.” Steve stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoe as he toed it against the carpet. “He obviously didn’t want to talk to me.”

Your bandaged hand fell gently on his arm, “Please don’t let that bother you. You know he thinks the world of you. Eli adores you. He just…stuff with his dad is going to be tricky. I don’t know if he knows how to talk to you about that just yet. I know he’s told you what happened to Justin but…this is different. He was embarrassed. He felt like he didn’t know how to handle this kid because he didn’t have a dad to show him.”

“But he has one hell of a mom who knows exactly how to handle it,” Steve told you, one hand running over your bicep, the other settling on the side of your waist. He could feel that tension he’d been sensing since he’d walked in the door seeping from your body, your muscles releasing under his hands. It made him feel ten feet tall to know that just his touch could help you relax.

“Maybe. That’s yet to be seen. I don’t want to have to storm up to the school and be all mama bear but it’s not beyond me. We’ll see if this plan works. If not, then the principal will definitely be hearing from me.” You glanced down at your watch and then reached up, your hands cradling his face. “Look, thank you. I mean it. It means so much to me that you care enough about Eli to try to help.”

“Of course I care about Eli. I love that kid, almost as much as…”

He cut himself off, cursing himself. It had almost slipped out. Just that quickly he’d almost broken the rule he’d set for himself. The rule that he would not say it first. He would not push you. He didn’t want to make you feel like you had to say it back. He didn’t want to freak you out by moving too fast.

But you knew. You knew exactly what was about to come out of his mouth. You stared at him, those lips like cotton candy parted in a perfect little o, those beautiful eyes like two big mirrors reflecting the panic he knew was written all over his face. Shit. Was this it? Were you going to run? Were you going to tell him this was all too much, too fast? You'd agreed to take it slow and he’d just revved the engine into high gear.

Taking a step back, your hand ran over your hair and you winced as your wound pressed against your scalp. Clearing your throat, you lifted your purse higher up on your shoulder.

“Anyway, thanks. I uh…I should really get going. I’m supposed to meet the girls in fifteen minutes and I’m going to be late if I don’t leave right now.”

“Right. Yeah. Don’t wanna be late,” he stammered, suddenly unsure of himself, feeling like he was walking a tightrope, staring at the ground, seconds away from teetering too far to the left or right.

“I shouldn’t be back late.”

“We’ll be here.”

Jesus. He had to get control of himself. The words came out way too high, syllables cracking like a prepubescent kid whose voice was changing. Trying to gain back some of his cool, he leaned, resting one hand on the wall, nodding and smiling at you.

“I got this. Go have fun.”

“Right. I will. Yeah. Thanks…” you mumbled, reaching for the doorknob.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” You halted your rush to escape, glancing up at him.

“Kiss goodbye?” he asked hopefully.

“Oh. Right.”

Leaning up on your toes, you pressed your lips to his. But instead of balancing him, it left him feeling like he was tilting, ready to crash. It was quick, forced, almost uncomfortable as if you were being told to kiss your uncle that you really didn’t want to.

“Umm…bye…”

And then you were out the door as it clicked closed behind you. Steve’s hand curled into a fist that he bounced against his forehead.

“Idiot!” he muttered angrily.

____________________________________________________________

Your hands shook against the steering wheel as you drove toward Brewed Awakening. Had Steve really been about to say what you thought he was about to say? No. He couldn’t have been. It was probably just a slip of the tongue. He’d been talking about Eli. And who wouldn't love Eli? You might be biased but your son was very lovable.

But you couldn't get it out of your head. If he felt that way did you feel that way too? Was he going to say it? If he did, would he expect you to say it back? Should you say it back? Should you say it first? Did you even want to say it yet?

Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden began playing on the radio and you quickly flicked the dial down. Your brain could not handle lyrics about dreaming someone into life right now. Hadn’t you thought the same exact thing about Steve? That he couldn’t be real. That you'd somehow wished him into existence because he was too perfect to actually exist?

Did you love him? That word had crossed your mind more than a few times when you'd been together, in fact as recently as this afternoon. But you weren't sure if you could trust your feelings. It had been so long since you'd been in a new relationship. Didn’t your brain release serotonin that could make you feel like it was love when it wasn’t? Or was lust clouding your emotions? Making you think you were feeling things you really wasn’t yet.

But what was love, really? At the most basic level it was an emotional bond that brought two people together. But there was nothing basic about love. Love was feeling like the dullest day was made more exciting just because you got to spend it with them. It was how every minute was made brighter by their mere presence. It was having someone that made the worst moments better just by being next to you. It was having someone you wanted to share everything with. It was missing them when they were away and wanting to spend every moment you could with them. It was knowing that you were safe. Love was realizing that home was not some structure made of four walls but a person.

“Holy shit…” you breathed, your grip on the steering wheel so tight that your cut on your palm began to throb and you had to remind yourself to relax. “I love Steve…I am in love with Steve.”

The realization threatened to send you into a tailspin, wildly whirling out of control. You pulled into a parking space in front of the cafe and sat, staring out the windshield because you just couldn’t wrap your head around it. Somehow it had happened without you even truly realizing it. It had snuck up on you. Janice had asked you and you knew you felt a lot for him but you hadn’t allowed yourself to consider that word. It was too big for something that had just begun.

Now what? Did you tell him? No. You couldn’t. You would wait for him to say it first. Steve had been with that crazy Janet lady who had latched on far too quickly. You didn’t want him thinking you were like that. No. You weren't even sure he’d been about to say it to you. You would wait. That was the right call.

“Shit!” you screeched when someone banged on your window, jumping so high you almost hit your head on the ceiling of your car. Turning, you found Robin grinning at you.

“Hey! What are you doing sitting in your car?”

Inhaling a long breath, you attempted to steady yourself. You had to set this life altering epiphany to the side for now until you could talk to Janet. You sure as hell were not divulging this information to Steve’s friends. Shutting off the car, you opened the door and stepped out.

“Sorry.”

“Is everything alright? We were all waiting there for you. We saw your car but you weren’t getting out so I said I would check on you. You appeared to be deeply lost in your own thoughts.”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.” You grasped for an excuse and realized you already had a ready made one. “Eli’s just having some issues with a boy at school and he was really upset about it today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Robin replied as you headed into the cafe. The other girls were already at a table, smiling and waving when they saw you.

“Hey. We thought maybe you were scared to come in after I told you we wanted all your deep, dark secrets,” Max teased with a laugh. “You know I was joking, right?”

“Yeah. No, I wasn’t scared.”

“Some kid’s being a dick to Eli and he was sad,” Robin explained for you as you took a seat.

“I didn’t say anyone was being a dick.”

“Well, it was implied,” Robin replied, tracing her finger over the swirls of the pattern on top of the table. “I assume he was upset because some asshat was being a bully. Trust me, I can read between the lines.” She pointed to herself. “I was a band geek in high school. I’ve dealt with my fair share of assholes.”

Nancy leaned in, hands cupped together on the table. “What happened?”

Your cheeks puffed up before you blew out a long breath. “This kid and him got into an argument on the playground. The kid was saying that him and Jeremiah were gay for each other because they wear capes and run around. Eli got mad and told him he’d rather be gay than be a jerk.”

“Oh, nice comeback! I love your kid!” Max grinned.

“Yeah. Well, then this kid said at least he still had a dad and that Eli acted the way he did because he doesn’t have a dad to show him how to be a real boy.”

Nancy’s jaw dropped, “He didn’t!”

“That’s so mean,” El added softly, hands tucked into the sleeves of her shirt, fingers playing with the edges.

“It’s also bullshit. Eli has a dad. He just passed away. He didn’t take off or leave,” Max muttered. “What a little dick. Eli should have punched him right in the face.”

“Now you’re sounding like Steve,” you sighed, shaking your head. You picked up a napkin, pulling at the edges in an attempt to keep herself calm. “I don’t want my son to hit people. I want him to learn how to use his words to stand up for himself. We have a plan. He’s going to try it and if that doesn’t work then I’ll go up to the school myself.”

“Steve? Steve, who lost a fight against Billy Hargrove in high school wants to show someone else how to fight?” snorted Robin.

“Billy Hargrove?”

Max sighed deeply with a roll of her eyes, “My step-brother who was a complete ass in high school. He didn’t like that I was hanging around Lucas. I was…having a hard time. My parents had split and then my mom moved me from California to here. It was nothing like what I knew. Some small boring town in the middle of nowhere without a real beach. And she’d moved me away from my dad. I snuck out one night to see Lucas and my mom was worried. My step-dad, who was a total dick, sent Billy to find me. He wound up at Mike’s house where we were all hanging and Steve was there with Nancy. Billy grabbed Lucas by the shirt and slammed him against the wall and Steve tried to protect him. Unfortunately he got his ass beat instead. Billy wasn’t really the kind of guy you wanted to mess with. He could be scary.”

“He attacked a kid?” you questioned. You didn’t want to offend Max by insulting her brother but what kind of jerk attacked a child who was probably less than half their size?

“Yeah. He was angry…really angry. All the time. He hated moving from California, too, and he blamed my mom for it. He couldn’t take it out on her because Neil would have kicked his ass so he took it out on me instead.”

“Damn. That’s still no reason to hurt a kid.”

“Well, there was a lot of other shit too. His dad was mean. He hurt Billy a lot. He used to beat up Billy’s mom and one day she couldn’t take it anymore and she left but she didn’t take him with her. He always felt like she’d abandoned him because then Neil had no one else to loose his fury on. Billy became his punching bag. He wasn’t allowed to show any kind of emotion because that’s not what boys did.”

This guy sounded awful. No wonder his son had grown into such a jerk. You weren't excusing his behavior but when that was all he’d known…it painted a little different picture. Still, people had choices in life and regardless of how you were raised, you could either choose to break the cycle or continue it.

“Is he still like that?”

“No,” Max answered with a smile. “Actually, you wouldn’t even recognize him if you’d known him back then. Our parents split. Not surprising given that their relationship was toxic as hell. I was relieved to have Neil out of the house but my mom had a really hard time for a while. She had to work two jobs just to keep us afloat and we had to move into this run-down trailer. It got really bad for a while but I kept telling myself it would get better. Billy and Neil had moved away. I didn’t know where. Then one day, out of nowhere, Billy showed up on our doorstep.”

“Yeah, Lucas told me he almost pissed himself when he opened the door and saw him,” El chuckled.

Max snorted, “Yeah. Well, Billy hadn’t exactly left the best impression. Anyway, the minute he’d turned eighteen he took off. He didn’t know where else to go. So even though he’d blamed us for all of his problems, there he was. My mom took him in. He got a job as a bartender and helped out with rent and groceries. I finally convinced him to go talk to someone, a shrink, you know? I had been talking to the school counselor and at first I hated it. I shut down. I refused to tell her anything but finally I opened up and it did me a lot of good. I thought it would do him good too.”

“Did it help?” you inquired, suddenly feeling invested in this guy you didn’t even know.

“Yeah. It did,” she answered proudly, nodding. “He’s married now. The girl he’s with, Val, she’s amazing. She’s really good for him. They have three kids and live back in California. We talk on the phone every week and he seems really happy. If you would have told me back then that one day I would be proud to say Billy Hargrove is my brother I would have told you that you were insane. I hated him. I wanted nothing more than for him to go away but I think we both were just so broken we couldn’t see how hurt each other was. If we would have turned to each other instead of pushing each other away maybe things would have been different back then. But he’s turned out to be a good person in spite of how he was raised.”

“Wow. That’s amazing. It takes a pretty strong person to pull themselves out of the darkness like that.”

“Steve’s still not his biggest fan,” joked Nancy.

“Well, he gave him a broken nose and a black eye,” Robin stated, instantly rising to Steve’s defense. “Can you blame him?”

“Hey ladies! What can I get for you?”

Robin’s face drained of all color, her skin resembling a sheet of paper as June appeared at their table. She wore the customary red apron and held a pad of paper in their hand. You noticed how her eyes went straight to Robin but Robin suddenly became very interested in the menu, snatching it from the table and holding it so closely you’d think she’d forgotten her glasses even though she didn’t wear any.

“Hey June!” you greeted brightly. “Can I have the chicken salad and an iced hazelnut coffee?”

“Chicken salad, huh? I was sure you were going for the turkey pesto.”

You shrugged, “I figured I would switch it up. The fact is every sandwich you make is delicious. Don’t you think, Robin?”

“Huh?” Robin mumbled, her eyes as wide as saucers as she peered at you over the top of the menu. “Oh. Yeah. I mean you’re delicious.” She squeaked, the color rapidly returning to her cheeks in a blaze of brilliant red. “I mean, you make delicious things. Coffee…food…sandwiches. Yeah. So good.”

June’s lips pressed together, concealing a smile that you knew was there. Yeah, she definitely thought Robin was cute. Now you all just had to get Robin to be brave enough to make a move. Or somehow get June to do it.

“Thanks Robin. My sandwiches are pretty good.” She grinned, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Of course, I have been told that I’m a pretty nice snack too.”

Oh damn. Maybe you guys wouldn’t need to intervene in any way. Robin gasped, her shoulders drooping forward as if she thought she could disappear. Make herself as small as possible so June wouldn’t be able to see her anymore.

“Robin loves snacks,” Max said with a mischievous grin.

Nancy nodded, “Yes she does. You know where they have great snacks? The movie theater. Who doesn’t love that delicious buttered popcorn? Or a pack of M&Ms. And I hear Slums of Beverly Hills is playing this weekend. You wanted to see that movie, didn’t you Robin?”

Robin nodded, the move barely perceptible, holding the menu so tightly you were surprised it didn’t tear in half.

“Yeah. It’s too bad we’re all busy this weekend,” El sighed. “We wouldn’t want you to miss out.” Whipping around in her chair, she smiled up at June. “June, would you happen to be free this weekend? Say…oh, I don’t know. Tomorrow night around seven?”

Her lips curved up on one side, the pen in her hand tapping against her chin. “Actually, I am.”

“Huh. How convenient,” Max gasped, reaching into her pocket. “And would you look at that? We’ve got tickets and everything.” She slid one across the table to June as Robin sat as still as a statue. “Why don’t you meet Robin in front of the movie theater?”

“Yeah. Definitely!” June bounced on her heels, looking down at Robin. “I mean, if you want me to come with you.”

Robin jumped, her eyes finally looking up at the raven haired beauty who was waiting anxiously for her answer. You nudged her with your toe under the table and she finally opened her mouth but no sound came out. She resorted to nodding.

“Is that a yes?” urged June.

“Yes!” Robin shrieked, causing all of them to jump. The poor girl winced, her fingers curling into a fist. “I mean, yes. That would be okay. No. I mean, that would be great. I would love…I mean, I would really like it if you came with me.”

“Okay. Great!” June took the rest of their orders, unable to keep the smile off her face, stretching from one end to the other. It was so damn adorable that you could scream. Robin had no reason to be nervous. This girl was definitely into her. She’d just been waiting for Robin to show the same interest. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She winked at Robin before she walked away and the girl melted down in her chair, almost dribbling off of it and onto the floor as the tension dissipated from her body.

“You did it! You finally did it!” Nancy squealed, grabbing her arm excitedly.

“I didn’t do anything!” she protested, glaring over at Max. “You all did this. You conniving little sneaks! You even bought tickets already? What if she’d said no?”

Max shrugged, “She wasn’t going to. But even if she did then I would have gone with you, you dork.”

“I thought you were all busy,” accused Robin, glaring at each of them in turn.

“Of course we’re not,” El laughed. “But we knew you’d never have the guts to actually say something to her. So, we came up with a plan to help you.”

“I didn’t need help.” Robin’s arms folded stubbornly like a child.

You laughed, ‘Oh girl, I hate to tell you but you absolutely needed help.”

“I hate all of you. Well, maybe not you." She pointed to you and then her eyes narrowed. "Unless you were in on it too.”

You held your hands up in front of you, “I knew nothing about any of this but I do approve of it.”

“And you don’t hate us,” Max grinned, placing her head on Robin’s shoulder. “You love us and you’ll love us even more when all of this goes well and you’re all in love and gross like the rest of us.”

Your stomach clenched at that word and you quickly looked down at your silverware, toying with the spoon. You couldn’t allow any of them a chance to see what was turning you inside out written all over your face.

“That remains to be seen. I still have to make it through this date. How am I supposed to talk to her without all of you? I barely managed a complete sentence with you all here.”

“You can do this,” El said, placing her hand over her friend’s. “I have faith in you. Just be yourself.”

“Myself!? Are you kidding me? Have you met me?”

“Yes,” Nancy stated, “we have and we all love you. June will too. Just try to relax. You get in your head and think you have to impress but all you do is freak yourself out and act all weird. Just let her see you because she is going to love you. I know it.”

“And if she doesn’t, I can always have Billy come talk to her. It worked with Lucas when he was being a turd,” Max joked and they all laughed.

“You have a date!” you cried with a smile.

“I have a date!” Robin agreed, looking far less enthused than the rest of them. In fact, the poor girl looked downright terrified.

Chapter 15

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Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. 😊 And replies and reblogs are always appreciated if you enjoy it. ❤️❤️❤️

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beautouslysandy · 1 year

Text

Reunion

Dallas Winston x Fem!Reader

By-Sandy

Warnings: None, just fluff as per usual

Word Count: 382

______________________________________________

______________________________________________ -You and Dallas were childhood friends, in and out of the cooler together. You both got kicked out of your homes, parents never tried to reach you again. At least that’s what you think and almost what you hope. - When Dally left New York for Tusla you were heartbroken, your partner in crime was leaving you. -He told you that you could come but you said you had some unfinished business. That night Dallas kissed you and said “I love you, Y/N. So finish up that business and get my doll down to Tusla.”

-It’s been a 1 year, and you were finally ready to see him. You found out an address from a townie.

“What have you gotten yourself into that makes you infamous” You chuckled as you muttered that to yourself. You pulled up to what was supposedly his friends house. You got out, your black heels hit the pavement. You were wearing a black dress and sliver hoops. Your h/c hair was down, you had a little mascara on. You had your St.Christopher necklace on, you and Dally bought matching ones when y’all were 15. Or so more stole them. You closed your car door and headed to the front door. Your heels clicking, you muttered to self what you were going to say. You had a thicker accent then Dallas and people who weren’t from your town had trouble understanding you. You got to the porch and knocked on the door. You took a deep breath, the door opened revealing a short boy probably around 5’5. He had dark brown hair. You realized you were staring. “Oh, hi..I am looking for Dallas…Dallas Winston.” You said in your angelic New Jersey accent. “Oh he’s not here yet but your more then welcome to wait” he said polietely

“Who is it?” Another voice said as you walked in.

You took off your sunglasses to reveal your siren-like e/c eyes. “Woah.” A voice said

You chuckled “I’m-“

“Your shitting me…”That familiar voice said

You turned around to see the tall brunette

“Doll?” He said with a sparkle in his eyes

“No, it’s Santa Claus, you idiot.” You laughed as he walked over and pulled you into a bear hug

“So you finally got that shady business finished, huh?” He said laughing

“Yeah, a little messy but oh well.” You joked

“So?” A dirty blond said with an awkward smile

“Oh yeah, guys this is Y/N my childhood best friend” He introduced

“Hey” You said with your blinding smile

———

After introductions the guys got pretty comfortable with you. You began to wonder if Dallas still had those feelings he had a year ago. “Y/N” he whispered into your ear

“Yeah?” You replied softly

“Your still wearing your necklace?” He asked looking you in eyes

You looked at him flirtatious and winked, his face got pink. “Stupid doll.” He turned away

You laughed

Those feelings were definitely still there.

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders imagine #dallas winston x reader #dally winston #dallas winston

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feralfather · 1 year

Note

Omg hello!! Always nice to see new people in the Spider corner of the fandom 🥹

Could I perhaps ask for Spider getting comforted by Quaritch after a village raid? The boy is angry, heartbroken and crying, all while Miles with his military man brain is trying his best to be vulnerable so he could properly comfort his boy 😭

I kinda ran away with this one- oops.

“Spider…”

The boy didn’t even acknowledge the Recom as he jumped off the Irkan, landing hard on the deck below, before storming towards the air-lock that lead to the interior of Bridgehead.

Quaritch quickly detached his queue from Cupcake and took long strides to catch up, paying no mind to what the others were up to. Right now, he needed to talk to his son.

The boy hasn’t looked at him nor said a word since the raid. The licking of the flames and the screams of the people and Spider begging for their lives were still fresh in everyone’s mind… Miles knows all of this has been taking a toll on his boy, and he knew their relationship would take an irreversible blow… but he still tries to cling to the illusion of the normality they’ve created over the last few months, in hopes that it will help sooth himself everyone.

He wasn’t ready to let go. Just the thought made him grip tighter.

But it seems Spider isn’t keen on playing along anymore.

“Spider! I’m talkin’ to you!-”

The Recom grunts in surprise as he has to catch the thick door with both hands and pulls it back open, which Spider had just tried to tug closed before he could reach it. His ears perk up at the sound of an angry mumble as he ducks into the air-lock, and shuts it. “What was that?”

Spider says nothing and keeps his head turned away from him and arms crossed tightly over his chest, but with their close proximity, Miles could see the boy’s throat bobbing every few seconds.

The Recom could feel frustration bubbling in his chest, his tail involuntarily lashing behind him and ears twitching to be pinned back. Ever since he woke up in this new body, he’s hated how his emotions are on display, and now wasn’t a good time to show how frustrated he was getting.

“Damn it, boy! Look at me!-”

“Fuck off!”

Both parties stood in silence, for two entirely different reasons.

Quaritch could only watch in shock as his son sucked in a shaky breath, eyes rimmed red with tears and face blotchy, an undeniable anger in his eyes as he glared up at the Recom.

The air-lock buzzed and the light turned green.

Spider rushed out, and Quaritch needed a few seconds to mentally catch up and chase after the boy yet again, nabbing an Avatar breathing mask along the way. “Spider!” He calls for, what felt like, the hundredth time today, thankful for his long legs as he got close enough to grip the human boy’s shoulder. “Quit runnin’-!”

Miles will never admit that he flinched when Spider whipped around and hissed at him, but he did, if only slightly. Spider lunged at him with a furious cry, and he was forced to wrangle with the boy in the middle of the hallway in front of everyone nearby.

Heads began to turn.

He took a few blows to the gut before he could get ahold of both of the boy’s hands- and then there were the feet. He hissed as Spider kicked him in shin, before getting fed up. “Cut that shit out!” He gritted out as he hauled the kid into his arms as best he could with the boy struggling so fiercely, and began the unnecessarily difficult journey to the Recom’s Quarters, all the while, Spider screamed Na’vi curses and wiggled like a snagged fish.

The moment they got into the room, and the door shut behind them, he let Spider go. The boy immediately jumped away and started pacing like a caged animal. “Let me out! Move, skxawng!”

Quaritch’s ears perked at the familiar curse, but did not rise to the bait. “Spider. Just calm down, so we can have a civil conversation.”

Spider let out an an angry noise and jabbed a finger in his direction, teary with rage. “No! You- you butthole! You’re a Demon! You’re horrible! I hate you!”

The boy’s eyes widened the moment the words slipped out, mouth opening and closing a couple of times.

The silence was heavy, and Miles felt like the air had just been punched from his lungs. He felt like he couldn’t breathe… he took a deep breath through his mask, and steeled his expression, falling into a familiar mask of neutrality. “Do you mean that?”

Spider clenched his fists and turned away.

As he waited for the boy’s answer, he couldn’t help but focus on the mask still firmly in place over Spider’s face, even though the room was oxygenated for Humans, the hissing of the mask filling the silence as Spider struggled to give him an answer.

When he did finally say something, it was so quiet that Miles had to strain his ears to hear it. “You keep doing terrible things.” Spider’s voice was so quiet and wobbly with emotion, it broke the Recom’s heart and filled him with an instinctual need to comfort the boy, which he forced himself to ignore like all the other times the strange instinct washed over him.

“I do what I have to do, for the mission.” The response sounded so robotic that Miles swore he could taste metal on his tongue. ‘I do what I have to do- they’ll take you away from me if I don’t’ is what his heart wanted to say, but the words were too revealing and got stuck in his throat.

“You killed Eywa’s children for no reason!” Spider hissed, shoulders tensing. “You destroyed villages- their homes.”

“I was authorized to use legal force, to find Jake Sully at any cost... It’s the only thing that matters.” Miles feels so tired, like the words he forced from his mouth were physically draining him. ‘If I don’t show my dedication to the mission, they’ll put you back in the machine’

The words were once again on the tip of his tongue, but it was like something was choking him anytime he opens his mouth to say the words.

Spider side-eyed him for a long moment, before turning to face him, and what the boy seen, Miles had no clue. “Do you mean that?” Spider threw his own words back in his face, an almost curious look showing through his anger.

Now, it was Quaritch’s turn to go quiet.

He has to mean it, he has to. Without it, he has no purpose, no direction, no meaning. He has to believe wholeheartedly that bringing in Jake Sully at all costs was the only thing that matters, that it’s what he wants to do. He has to want to live up to his predecessor’s legacy. To want to kill Jake Sully for being a traitor. The higher-ups will probably discard him if he doesn’t, like a broken tool… because that’s all he is now. Property.

“You don’t, do you?” Spider tilts his head, brown eyes deeply searching his own yellow ones. He must have found what he was looking for, because he got this desperate glint in his eyes as he takes a step towards the Recom with every word. “You don’t have to. You could- we could disappear. Go somewhere.” Spider was standing right in front of him now, looking up at him with a fire burning in his eyes, one of defiance and longing for freedom. “We can fly to the other side of the world,”

“..Spider..”

“Go where no one would ever find us!”

“Spider.”

“I could teach you everything- we could be a fam-!”

“That’s enough!” Miles snapped, cutting off Spider before he could say the words that would doom them both. His shoulders slumped, tail drooping as he forced the vile words from his mouth. “We can’t.”

The fire flickered, by was still present in Spider’s eyes. “We can.”

Miles took another breath from his mask, before shaking his head and gripping the boy firmly by both his shoulders. “No, we can’t…”

Frustration brewed on Spider’s face again, but instead of slapping Miles’ hands away like he was expecting him to, the kid only grabbed onto his forearms, eyes searching his face yet again. “..why?”

“There ain’t nowhere I could run where the RDA wouldn’t find me… I-..” Miles got down on one knee to be level with Spider, trying to find a way to voice his concerns. In the end, he decided to be blunt. Straight forward and to the point. “I’m property, Spider- probably got a tracker in me an’ everything.”

Of course, they’ve never been able to actually prove the Tracker Theory, but so much money was put into creating the Recoms that it’d be a shock if they didn’t track their investments.

‘And without the RDA, I am nothing…’ He didn’t dare voice that thought, not wanting the truth to be revealed- that he isn’t as confident and sound of mind as he makes himself out to be.

He frowns, feeling like shit the moment he sees the fire die from Spider’s eyes once again. He wanted so badly to reassure the boy and tell him everything would be ok, that maybe one day, this war would be over and Spider and him could retire somewhere peaceful… that maybe one day, he could allow himself to indulge in his strange instincts to run off into the trees and be the father Spider wanted him to be… but he didn’t want to lie to the boy, so he kept his mouth shut.

Spider scrunched his face and looked to the side. “This isn’t fair.”

“Life ain’t fair, kid.”

Spider’s grip on his forearms tightened, and Miles couldn’t stop himself from reaching up and gently pulling the mask off Spider’s face, before drawing the boy closer until his bare tear-streaked face was pressed into his shoulder. Spider’s arms raised to loosely hang over his broad shoulders, and Miles arms were wrapped securely around Spider, one hand splayed comfortingly against his upper back.

“You wouldn’t be doing any of this stuff if you didn’t have to… right?” Spider mumbled into his shoulder, gripping the back of his vest tightly, which he never got the chance to take off.

Miles’ arms tightened around the boy, as it was the only answer he could give without choking on the words he didn’t realize he wanted to say.

‘Everything I do, I do to keep you safe.’

The words were always on his lips, ready to be said, but something always makes him bite his tongue and swallow them.

#recom quaritch #spider soccoro #avatar quaritch #avatar spider #miles quaritch #na'vi quaritch #spider socorro #avatar wotw #father son #father son relationship #father son bonding #avatar #miles quaritch struggles with emotionally vulnerable words #spider just wants to run away with his dad-not-dad #answered asks

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sunflower-lilac42 · 4 months

Text

✧ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 || flowers au ♔

summary: connor and violet go on a little winter exploration

warnings: none, i don't think

notes: here's some connor and violet after a long four hours of pain. i am so sorry to anyone who was heartbroken from the tweets i posted, i hope you can forgive me. we are in this together, i promise. justice for jamie! anyways story notes -> we are pretending it snowed in november in chicago even though i know it didn’t. I got bored looking up the hawks’ wags so you only get two which is janelle and megan. milana is janelle and nick’s daughter. feel free to ask anything for the au because i love hearing from you guys and i hope to answer some questions if you have any. add yourself to the taglist ➵ taglist!

au masterlist | nhl masterlist | main masterlist

The day of Thanksgiving, Violet didn’t know what to do with herself. She never really celebrated American Thanksgiving, so it was just another day of November to her. This is why her parents allowed her to stay with one of her friends over the break, she just never really specified which friend.

Connor and Violet sat in his apartment watching football, Violet not really understanding it. Connor attempted to explain it to her but she held her hand up, “Con, this is making absolutely no sense, so I’m going to go make dinner.”

Connor frowned as she left, watching her walk away. His eyes went back to the TV screen when he heard her call out, “Connie you have like no food here.”

“I didn’t think you were going to offer to make dinner. I thought we would just go out.”

She came waltzing back into the living room and looked at him, “I am not living off of takeout until Sunday. And also, I don’t even know what would be open on Thanksgiving.”

Connor shrugged, “I’m going to go out and see what's open.”

“No, you aren’t. You could get hurt.”

“Connor, it’s Thanksgiving and almost dinner time, who do you think is going to be out right now.”

The boy stood up, “It’s snowing outside. You could be blindsided or spin out or-”

“Fine you can come with.”

He smirked, “I’m driving.”

Violet rolled her eyes and nodded, “Hurry up. I’m starving.”

“Right away, princess.” He winked at her, running into his room to change into more weather-appropriate clothing.

He came back out with a hoodie in his hands, “Here.”

“Yay!” She threw the hoodie on and the two headed out of the apartment, Violet linking arms with him.

Connor couldn’t help but keep sneaking glances at the girl as they drove, she was humming along to the Christmas playlist she had put on. Despite growing up in Canada, the girl was always cold which explained why he felt like he was roasting in his car, “Connie?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t know.” She went back to looking out the window, swinging her legs back and forth as much as she could, “Uh uh, what’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours?”

She blushed, thankful that due to the heat in the car, her cheeks already had a pink tint to it. She thought for a minute before asking, “Do you think you could teach me how to skate?”

Connor looked at her in amusement, “You want to learn how to skate?”

She nodded, “I’ve always been too afraid to. Adam and Luca tried but I was scared. But I feel safe with you.”

He smiled, “Of course I can, V.”

She smiled back and continued looking out the passenger window. Connor felt bold, reaching over to grab her hand. She jumped at first but relaxed immediately after. She looked over at him but he was focused on the road, his left hand resting atop of the steering wheel.

They got there five minutes after and both of them felt a cold rush through them as soon as they let go. When they got out of the car, she looped her arm around Connor’s and they walked into the store, “What do you want?”

“I don’t care. Whatever you want I guess.” Connor wasn’t the best person to help with dinner.

She rolled her eyes and took off towards an aisle, Connor rushing to follow her. This was one of Violet’s favorite things to do when they went out together, she would run off somewhere and every time she even thought she saw Connor she would move so she wouldn’t be found. The one time this happened, Connor wasn’t able to find her for a whole hour and that’s when he decided to publicly embarrass her and call her out over the intercom.

She headed down the soup aisle and looked for something to make. Her eyes landed on the cream of chicken soup and she thought of chicken and dumplings. She ran around the store, gathering everything she needed and even picking up some cinnamon rolls for dessert.

She wandered around, trying to find Connor when all of a sudden she felt arms wrap around her, “That better be you, Connor.”

“It is.”

“Good, because I have dinner for us, kind sir.”

“Why thank you, m’lady.” He took the basket from her, looking over everything, “Don’t worry, there’s no nuts in anything.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead, “Well then. Shall we get home so we can start?”

“Yes, please!”

✧༺✎༻∞

Violet felt lonely before the game on Friday, all of her friends were at home with their families and she was in Chicago. Connor had already left for the United Center and she didn’t know what to do for the next couple of hours. She knew Connor would have a fit if she went out to the city alone, so she didn’t. He was the only one who could act possessive towards her and she would allow it.

Earlier that morning, Connor had asked her if she wanted to meet some of the wags so she wouldn’t have to be alone during the game and she said yes. So, Connor had texted his teammates and asked if they could introduce their wives and girlfriends to Violet and they all happily said yes.

Janelle was the first one to meet Violet as Nick and Connor had created a bond earlier in the season. She then met Megan, Tyler Johnson’s fiance, who was extremely nice to the girl, complimenting her nonstop. She met more of them when she got to the stadium, sitting next to Janelle as she felt the most comfortable with her.

Janella had brought Milana and Violet played with her throughout the game. Every time the Hawks would score Melanie would look up at Violet and say, “Look Violet, they scored!”

Which she would reply with, “Oh! That’s so exciting!”

During overtime, Violet was extremely anxious, shaking her leg up and down as she watched the players skate back and forth across the ice. When Connor shot the puck towards the net she saw his head tilt back in disappointment and frustration. She tried to send positive thoughts to him mentally and could only hope that he saw her smiling at him in the suite.

When Connor went back out with Kevin and Phillip, her body tensed. She watched as they skate to the Leafs zone, the puck gliding on the ice between their skates. Her eyes focused on the puck as it went from Kurashev to Connor, to Kevin who hit it into the net.

The whole arena stood up and cheered as Connor and Kevin jumped onto each other. Milana started singing Chelsea Dagger and Violet sang with her. Everyone in the suite held smiles on their face and Violet pulled out her phone to take a picture.

Janelle and Violet stood next to each other in the tunnel, watching Milana run around. Violet had her back faced to any of the players who came out, talking about school with the older woman. She saw Lukas and Kevin walk out together and waved at them, “Hey guys.”

“Oh, hey V! We didn’t know you were coming.”

“Yeah, kinda hard when Connor texted me about it time after time again.”

She felt an arm wrap around her shoulder, “So not true. I only texted her once, maybe twice.”

“Maybe five hundred. Con this game could go on forever.”

He nodded, fixing his suit jacket, “You guys going out?”

The two boys nodded and so did Janelle, “This one wouldn’t stop complaining that she was hungry.”

“You guys mind if we tag along? If that’s okay with you, V?”

“Yeah, of course.” She felt nervous about impeding on their time out, “Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Of course it is! I know that Milana would love it.”

“Yeah! Yeah! I want Violet to come!”

“Okay then, I guess it’s settled.”

Throughout dinner, Violet couldn’t help but look at Connor. Anything that anyone said fell deaf upon her ears as she just couldn’t stop thinking about Connor in his suit. Sure, she’s seen him in one before but this was the first time she has since she recognized her feelings towards the boy.

Connor looked over at her and smiled, “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just, happy.”

He placed a hand on her thigh and gave it a little squeeze before going back to the conversation with his teammates.

✧༺✎༻∞

The next day was filled with Connor and Violet going around the city doing a bunch of random things. Looking at the Christmas decorations, going ice skating, and trying all different kinds of sweets from different bakeries and restaurants. Violet was amused by snow, mostly.

She had never seen snow in this environment before. In Canada she had found it so common that it just looked like it was normal to her, but after spending months in Illinois, she learned to appreciate the snow’s beauty.

“I can’t get over how pretty the snow looks here.”

Connor only nodded, trying to keep Violet upright. The two were in the middle of skating when two boys skated up to them, “Hey guys!”

Violet looked up and grinned, “Hi!”

“Fancy seeing you guys here. Can’t believe we’re skating on an off day.”

Connor shook his head, “In my defense, this one wanted to learn how to skate.”

Kevin looked appalled, “You literally have hockey players for brothers and you don’t know how to skate.”

“Don’t make fun of me! I was always scared of getting on the ice.”

Lukas and Kevin held their hands up in defense, “We’re not. And we will continue not to only if you let us hang out with you guys.”

“Of course, you guys can!”

The two looked over at their teammate and noticed the tiniest bit of annoyance in his eyes. They smirked before pushing him out of the way and skating off with Violet, her laughing but also yelling at them to not let her fall.

✧༺✎༻∞

violetsdiaries

liked by lukasreichel44, kevinkorchinski, _connorbedard, and 523,095 others

violetsdiaries I spent my break in Chicago because I don't understand American Thanksgiving :) please enjoy the snow in the windy city

view 104,237 comments

user01 the snow is so magical there!

user02 she's been spending a lot of time in chicago recently...

⤷ user03 and there's some new faces in the likes

lukasreichel44 i thought we were good enough to make the main

⤷ violetsdiaries i'm sorry, lukas. i promise i'll post you in the non-aesthetically pleasing photo dump

⤷ kevinkorchinski are you saying we're not aesthetically pleasing to look at 😥

⤷ _connorbedard that's exactly what she's saying

kevinkorchinski happy to host you

⤷ violetsdiaries happy to visit you, sir 🫡

adamfantilli you ditched me for Chicago?

⤷ violetsdiaries correction, i ditched you for pizza

luca.fantilli i missed you

⤷ violetsdiaries i missed you too luca

user04 does anyone else find it weird she didn't go home and see her family

⤷ user05 yeah, but maybe she had family in Chicago that we just don't know about

⤷ user04 yeah, that's true

⤷ user06 i saw her at the Hawks game on the 24 so maybe she's dating someone on the team 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷ user07 if it's not connor i'm suing

lhughes_06 you should've come and seen us

⤷ violetsdiaries i've had these plans made for like two weeks, lukey

⤷ jackhughes i will personally drag your butt here to jersey the next time you can come to a game because i wnat to see you

⤷ violetsdiaries guys! guys! it's happening. jack's becoming obsessed with me 😱

⤷ ollie.barnes it's about time, honestly

⤷ jackhughes i'm not obsessed with her, i just miss her

⤷ violetsdiaries i miss you too jacky

markestapa thank you for visiting me

⤷ violetsdiaries it had been a long time coming

⤷ _connorbedard did you just make a taylor swift refernce

⤷ violetsdiaries he's learning!!!!!!

⤷ markestapa ...we were having a moment

⤷ violetsdiaries don't be mean to connor

user08 violet protecting connor 🔛🔝

_connorbedard the snow is pretty, but you're prettier

*this comment has been deleted*

user09 please tell me i'm not the only one who saw connor's comment

⤷ user08 definetely not

⤷ user07 oh my god... bantilli stans unite ✊🏻

⤷ user10 what did he say??

⤷ violetsdiaries he said, and i quote, 'the snow is pretty, but you're prettier.' excuse me while i go hide in my closet 🤪

⤷ user11 bantilli comfirmed

⤷ adamfantilli i do not like this

⤷ luca.fantilli not approved

⤷ user12 adamfantillii, luca.fantilli did anyone ask you two???

✧༺✎༻∞

messyviolets

liked by _connorbedard, kevinkorchinski, lukasreichel44, and 148,231 others

messyviolets so... this happened. also the boys taught me how to skate! which i kind of regret but i now know a new skill. also there's a new video out now!

tagged lukasreichel44, kevinkorchinski, _connorbedard

view 4148 comments

kevinkorchinski o m g guys! we made it instagram official!!! _connorbedard, lukasreichel44 🤩

⤷ lukasreichel44 the famous violet knows us, i could die happy now 🥳

⤷ _connorbedard seriously, messyviolets, we are you're biggest fans 😮

⤷ messyviolets you guys are so embarrassing, i regret posting you now

user13 new group alert!!

⤷ lukasreichel44 trust, you're going to be seeing a lot more of us 😏

⤷ user14 what does this mean??

⤷ messyviolets that three teenage hockey players have managed to wiggle their into my hearts and i regret to inform i can't let them go now 😔

⤷ _connorbedard awwww, we made her soft 🥹

⤷ lhughes_06 sorry bud, that happened a long time ago

⤷ adamfantilli yeah, i think we were the inventors of it

⤷ luca.fantilli she was like this before she met you

⤷ markestapa you three aren't special

⤷ messyviolets stop it you guys, i'm not condoning this hate to them. let me have my friends.

user15 is anyone else mad that violet's brothers and friends are trying to get violet to stop being friends with other people

⤷ user16 yes! i get being protective but both the illini hockey team and connor, lukas, and kevin seem like good people and i think they should respect their wishes

⤷ messyviolets call them out on their shit 👏🏻👏🏻

⤷ user15 she responded!

⤷ user16 we do as mother says adamfantilli, luca.fantilli, markestapa, lhughes_06

⤷ user15 we do as mother says adamfantilli, luca.fantilli, markestapa, lhughes_06

⤷ user17 we do as mother says adamfantilli, luca.fantilli, markestapa, lhughes_06

⤷ user18 we do as mother says adamfantilli, luca.fantilli, markestapa, lhughes_06

*view 98 more comments in this thread*

messyviolets i hate people

*this comment has been deleted*

user19 i feel so bad for violet, she can't even post her own friends because of her brothers and her umich friends

kevinkorchinski i think our snowmen turned out pretty well 🙂

⤷ messyviolets me too 🙃

⤷ lukasreichel44 are you okay v?

⤷ messyviolets no

⤷ _connorbedard call me

⤷ user20 protective connor!!!!!!! 🔛🔝

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

#sunny lune writes #hockey #nhl #sunnyluneflowers #connor bedard #connor x violet #connor bedard x reader #connor bedard x fantilli!sister #connor bedard x fantilli!reader #cb98 #adam fantilli #adam fantilli x reader #adam fantilli x sister!reader #luca fantilli #luca fantilli x reader #luca fantilli x sister!reader #nhl blackhawks

117 notes · View notes

toasttt11 · 2 months

Text

worth it

January 20, 2023

Vera and Nico were sitting on her couch drinking a cup of coffee in the morning as they caught up with each other after the long road trip the Devils were on and Vera was out of town for her competition as well and they haven’t seen each other for two weeks.

Nico rose an eyebrow seeing Vera distracted and zoning out a lot as well as fidgeting quite a bit as well, he smiled knowingly sipping his coffee, “Go see him Schwöschterli.”

Nico knew all about Jack’s feeling for his sister and Nico knew Vera had quite a lot of feelings for Jack as well, truthfully he always wanted them to he together and Nico thought that there wasn’t anyone better for his sister than Jack.

Vera’s head snapped towards her brother, “What?”

“Please, did you think i didn’t know you have feelings for Jack.” Nico smirked teasingly as his sister drinking his coffee.

“You’re okay with that?” Vera questioned confused, knowing how protective and against Nico was when she was dating Fredrick.

“Yes, You two are perfect for each other.” Nico smiled softly having seen the many times Jack and Vera just balance each other out extremely well and the way they seem the happiest with each other.

Vera gulped nervously, “I, i don’t know if i’m ready.” Vera was heartbroken when her relationship fell apart with Fredrick but also the fact she not only lost her best friend but his whole family as well that was family to her too.

Nico set down his mug on the coffee table scooting closer to his little sister, he held onto her hands comfortably, “Vera it’s okay to be scared but you can’t let that stop you from being happy. You like Jack a lot and you light up around him with a smile i have barely seen the last few years and you have this light in your eyes around Jack. I want you to be happy and Jack makes you happy.” Nico spoke honestly to his sister, he’s hated how much she lost her spark being with Fredrick and appreciated how much Jack makes Vera herself again.

Vera slowly nodded and knew her brother was right, she couldn’t let fear stop her from being happy.

“Now go get your boy.” Nico smiled at her in encouragement gesturing to the door.

Vera nodded and quickly got up and slipped her slippers on and rushed out of her front door and to the elevator, she clicked the floor above her and rushed out once the doors opened and rushed down the hallway towards Jack’s apartment.

Vera knocked multiple times on Jack’s door anxiously waiting and what felt like an eternity, The door unlocked and Jack opened the door looking like he just had woken up.

“Flower?” Jack smiled at the sight of her at his door as he rubbed his face trying to wake up, “What are you doing here?”

Vera took a deep breath biting her lip nervously, “I’m ready.” Vera blurted out before she could stop herself.

Jack felt his eyes widen in hope and stepped closer to her, “Ready?” Jack asked hopefully as he started at her.

Vera nodded softly still biting her lip nervously.

Jack let out a breath of relief as his beaming smile filled his whole face and he rushed forward cupping her face and pressing his lips to hers frantically, doing the thing he has been dreaming of for years.

Vera felt the tension fall from her body as her lips touched his and her hands frantically held onto Jack neck desperately, Jack held her face in his delicately as he pressed his lips so passionately and desperately to hers trying to convey years of emotions and feelings to her.

They let out watery laughs as they both pulled away from the kiss and was just smiling at each with beaming smiles.

Jack felt his heart beating with happiness as he just watched her look at him with the beautiful beaming smile and the bright sparkle in her eyes.

Jack just let out a breath of disbelief and started pressing a kiss on every inch of her face, making sure every inch is touched by his lips. Vera giggled as Jack kissed her every where.

Jack pressed the last kiss of the top of nose, “Please let me be your boyfriend.” Jack practically begged looking at her desperately.

Vera slowly nodded not feeling nervous like she thought she would but more happy about the idea of Jack being hers, “Yes, Yes.”

Vera giggled louder as Jack wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around as he let out a whoop of delight.

Jack gently set her feet back on the ground but kept his arms wrapped around her waist, he yawned slightly, “Sorry i was sleeing.” Jack apologized to his now girlfriend.

“I woke you up.” Vera frowned slowly and gently grabbed his hand and walked them into his apartment.

“Yeah, but it was worth it.” Jack flirted smiling at the red on his Vera’s cheeks.

Vera shook her head and walked with him to his bedroom, she slipped off her slippers and laid down on his bed patting the spot next to her.

Jack grinned and jumped right onto the bed next to Vera, he layed his head down on right onto her chest cuddling closer to her and wrapping his arm over her stomach.

Jack let out a happy noise as her fingers starting rubbing through his hair and his whole body was relaxing in Vera’s arms and he pressed a soft kiss to her collar bone before letting his eyes slowly flutter shut and before he knew he was fast asleep in the comfort of Vera’s arms.

Vera face was incredibly soft as she played with Jack’s hair and watched him slowly fall asleep in her arms.

Vera hummed softly and turned her head letting it rest against his pillow and her chin on his head as her nose was filled with his scent and she could feel slowly falling asleep as well.

38 notes · View notes

maknaeswrld · 5 months

Text

love is worth the wait | l.mh

wc: 2.4k

genre: best friends to strangers(?) to lovers; idiots to lovers

cw: angst; depression/mentions of having depression; ✨miscommunication✨; roomies are based off my irls and Jun isn’t based off anyone specific; roomies are trying their best; fluff!!; please let me know if I missed anything

part one: when you loved me

You stayed in bed for much longer than you would have liked to admit. Depression had never really been something you struggled with, but it seemed to be the week for new emotions so why not sprinkle in some other things too?

You knew your roommates were ridiculously worried about you, you’d be worried too if any of them just randomly shut down one day over a boy. But between the depression naps and sad cereals and binging romcoms, you knew step by step you’d pick yourself up again.

Part of you wished you could go back to believing you never had been and never would fall in love, but you also knew now that it was bound to happen eventually. Some people don’t fall in love, and that's okay, but no matter how much you fought it, you weren’t one of those people.

Your co-workers at work knew something was wrong. No matter how hard you tried to hide it, your sluggish movements and the dreadful bags under your eyes gave you away.

You were heartbroken. You never thought you’d be one of those girls from high school that learned love and heartbreak in the blink of an eye at the hands of Lee Minho, yet here you were, years later, doing just that.

Jun had tried to reach out to you a few times, but as much as you cared for your friend, you didn’t want the painful reminders of Minho that he always brought with just his presence alone.

You stopped everything Stray Kids related. You couldn’t bring yourself to listen to their music, you turned off their youtube notifications, you’d even taken down your photocards and hid away your Leebit Skzoo. Your life was missing a large part of it without your unwavering devotion to keeping up with the band.

You didn’t want to see him and be reminded of your years of stupidity, or even worse, see him with that girl. Learning you’re in love with someone by seeing them happy with another person isn’t exactly the best way to go about figuring things out, and you knew it’d tear you apart to see him laughing because of her again.

You assumed she was his girlfriend, there had been rumors floating around for months that he was seeing someone.

You came to the conclusion that you didn’t want to ruin anything for him just because it took you this long to realize his childhood crush on you.

All you wanted was to go home and take a nice long shower and maybe a nap. You had a three day weekend and you were planning to milk every second of sleep and relaxation and moping you could out of it, but when you walked into your house, you heard a voice you dreaded laughing in the kitchen with your roommates.

You shouldn’t have been surprised to find Jun in your apartment, he and Lia had been best friends since diapers so of course they still spent time together, but that didn’t make you any happier to see him.

You tried to tiptoe past the kitchen doorway so you could make a mad dash to your bedroom without having to talk to Jun or any of your roommates, but you didn’t succeed.

“Oh, Y/n! Look, Jun came to see you. Have you really been ignoring his texts and calls because you’re moping about Lee Minho?”

Sometimes you had to really stop and ask yourself if Lia was your roommate and best friend or your mother.

“In my defense, I’ve been ignoring everyone.” She shoots you a sharp look and you slump. “I’m sorry. I just thought it’d be too painful to talk to you when pretty much all of our memories together include him.”

Jun’s eyes were soft and understanding as he took in your appearance.

“Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll fix up something to eat? You look like you could use a home cooked meal.”

“You don’t have to do that, Jun,”

“I want to, and it’s no worry at all.” He gave you a kind smile and gently started pushing you in the direction of your bathroom. “Go on, take as much time as you need.”

You wanted to argue but your stomach growled and your muscles ached, so you gave in and grabbed a change of clothes and your dance team jacket from your room before starting up the water in your bathroom.

A hot shower was definitely what you needed, the warmth soothed you all over and you felt yourself truly relax for the first time in weeks. You ran the water until it was cold before finally getting out and getting dressed. Stepping out of the steamy bathroom, the aroma of a fresh, home cooked meal flooded your senses and your stomach growled.

You slowly made your way back down the hall toward the kitchen. You hesitated to enter when you heard talking.

“He should be here any minute.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Jun? I mean, she’s trying to get over him.”

“Trust me on this one, will ya? You didn’t have to sit through two years of high school with them and then deal with Minho ever since.”

“That’s fair. Eve, hun, you met Y/n in university so you didn’t get a front row seat to the full extent of the no relationships thing. That girl and Min, they were such a disaster in high school.” Lia rolled her eyes.

Before you could really stop to think about what they were saying, there was a knock at your door. You peered into your kitchen to see that they were all too busy talking to have heard it so you made your way to the door yourself.

You didn’t bother to check who it was, swinging the door open with zero hesitation and freezing immediately upon the sight in front of you.

Lee Minho was standing outside your apartment with a sheepish grin and an oreo mcflurry.

You blinked at him twice and then shut the door.

Slowly turning on your heel, you see Eve, Lia, and Jun had finally noticed and were watching from the kitchen. You weren’t sure if you wanted to hug them or smack them.

“Hey! Don’t be rude, you can’t just slam the door in peoples faces!” Eve scolded.

Jun covered her mouth with his hand, not even flinching when she immediately licked it. “Open the door, Y/n. Trust me.”

Taking a deep breath, you turned back around and opened the door again, this time seeing a dejected Minho.

“Hi.”

You weren’t really sure what else to say. It had been so long since you last interacted with him that you felt like that scared new girl looking for a sports credit all over again.

“Hey.” it was a lot more nervous than you were used to.

He seemed to be in a trance, as if he was seeing you for the first time. Raising a brow at him, you held the door open a little wider.

“You gonna come in or what?” His eyes sparkled as he smiled and walked into your apartment. He looked around, not really sure what to do, and then he looked at you again, but this time he really looked at you.

“You’re wearing the jacket.” He whispered in shock.

You blushed and pulled it closer into yourself. “Yeah. I uh, I wear it a lot.”

You crossed your arms self consciously and dropped your gaze to the floor.

The hand holding the mcflurry came into view, and you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I used to bring you these all the time, don’t you remember?”

You smiled slightly. “Of course I do. Thanks.”

Taking the mcflurry, you shyly brushed by him and headed for the kitchen.

“So, Minho, what are you doing here?” You tried to sound nonchalant, but you knew he knew you better than that, even if you hadn’t seen each other since high school.

He took a deep breath and gently grabbed your arm, pulling you toward him.

“I came for you. I wanted to talk to you before the show the other week but by the time I got out the door you left through, you were gone. I didn’t know you could walk that fast, especially without tripping.” He laughed shyly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I was kinda sad you left without so much as a hello, but Jun said he could get in touch with you so I wasn’t too worried, but then you never picked up. If I did something to upset you, I’m really sorry.”

Your heart melted for him, and you looked at your shoes, suddenly feeling very guilty.

“Sorry about that. I’ve kind of just been going through a lot lately.”

He nodded understandingly and didn’t push it.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed you by your shoulders and made you look into his eyes.

“Did you find the note?”

You were nodding before you could stop yourself, you had never been able to lie to Lee Minho.

“I found it the day after I ran out.”

His face shifted from nervous to disappointed. “Is that why you stopped coming to my events?”

You froze, taken aback.

He knew you were there?

“If it makes you feel any better, I wrote that in high school, ya know? I thought when you found it, we’d still be by each other's sides. I’m sorry if it freaked you out. I’d take it all back if it meant you go back to attending my events”

His words registered in your head faster than the sentiment behind them did and tears welled up in your eyes. You heard him curse and ask what was wrong, but you were lost in your thoughts.

You were so happy to hear he noticed you, he knew you were at his events and he noticed when you stopped coming, but then he told you he wishes he never wrote the letter that made you realize everything in the first place. It was all too much to handle in your fragile state.

He gently cupped your cheeks and wiped away your tears.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?”

You stared up into his gorgeous brown eyes and wished you could stay drowning in them forever.

You had to distance yourself. He regretted the letter, he has a girlfriend, he only saw you as a friend.

Shoving him away from you, your heart ached at the gap between you and the sudden loss of contact.

“Why are you here?” You hated that your voice cracked, that your emotions were so close to the surface.

“What do you mean, Y/n/n, I’m-”

“Don't call me that! Please, don’t call me that.”

It was taking everything in you not to run and lock yourself in your room. His presence was too much for you to handle.

He just scoffed, brows furrowed. “Well then what do you want me to call you? Y/l/n?”

“Why are you here, Lee?” You asked again, your voice steadier than you expected this time.

He scoffed, his agitation almost palpable as he rolled his eyes. “I’m here because the girl I’ve been in love with since first year ran off when we finally could have reunited. I’m here because some part of me was hoping that maybe you finally realized how you felt.

“I spent every single day of my professional career trying to perform my best because I knew you’d be watching. I kept hoping that one day you’d come down from your seat in the stands after a show and hug me. I naively hoped I meant something, anything, to you.

“I’ve spent years waiting for a text or a call, anything that would prove to me that you missed me as much as I missed you, but I figured you’d finally had your dream life, and there wasn’t any place left in it for your fuckboy best friend from high school.

“I’m here because Jun said you haven’t been doing well lately and I figured the best medicine to cheer you up is an oreo mcflurry. I thought I could see you again, and we could talk, and I could finally have my Y/n back. But instead, I just learned that all those years of watching my performances didn’t mean what I’d hoped they did because the second you learned the truth, you left me behind.”

There were tears in his eyes now. He respected the distance you’d placed between the two of you, but you wished he wouldn’t.

You tried to process what he was saying, what it meant.

“That’s not true.” You whispered. His eyes were watery, proof of how hurt he felt, yet he refused to look away from you. “That’s not true at all. The letter didn’t scare me away, in fact it did the opposite. It made me realize I was always in love with you. I never wanted to admit it because I was scared, but there’s never been anyone else I’ve ever wanted to be with more than I want to be with you.

“I’m exactly what I never wanted to be. I’d give up everything to be with you. But I’d also give you up if it meant your happiness, and I didn’t want to be the girl to ruin your relationship because I was a few many years too late. I was just trying to let you go, Min. I needed to be apart from you in order to accept the truth of my situation.”

The room was quiet for only a few moments, you could see the gears turning in his head as he put together what you had said.

“You love me?” His voice broke, as if the weight of the world had just lifted from his shoulders. “Wait, hold on, you think I have a girlfriend? And that's why you stopped coming to my events?”

“I saw the way you laughed with her, Min. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh that genuinely.”

He was thinking now, trying to remember. You could see when it clicked and he started laughing.

“You saw me with Nari. Y/n, Nari is my cousin, we’re both only children so we’ve always been close, like siblings. She was in town to visit for her birthday.”

You blinked emotionlessly as you thought about it. How could you have been so stupid? A blush spread furiously and you hid your face in your hands. You were beyond embarrassed and wishing for the floor to open up and swallow you whole right about now.

Minho gently pried your hands away from your face, a lovely smile gracing his lips.

“I only ever loved you, Y/n.”

a/n: thank you so much for reading my silly little story, reblogs/comments are a great way to interact and always appreciated🫶

Alternate Ending: heartbreak is a part of life

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids fics #lee know #skz fanfic #skz x reader #lee know fanfic #lee know x y/n #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #lee minho

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