#this fucking shit it’s ridiculous

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

#kai rambles #so like #i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like #i dont really care for warships #i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them #apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod #or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter #like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED #but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water #william d porter #uss william d porter #ww2 #world war 2 #world war ii #warships #again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny #uss iowa #fdr #franklin d. roosevelt #this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck #shipposting

[teaboot]

Kind of a random hill to die on rn but "You'd eat this thing you hate if you got hungry enough" does not set a reasonable expectation of what "hungry enough" means for people with food problems.

Like, are we talking "stomach grumbling" hungry enough, or "can't stand up" hungry enough? Cause personally, I can make myself eat a bit of a pork chop if I'm barfy and shaking and can't see straight anymore, but if it's down to "black out for three days and wake up angry and confused" or "willingly swallow prosciutto", I'm having sleep for dinner. And I know this from experience.

People without food problems don't seem to understand this and it drives me insane. "Hungry enough" is for shit like chewing drywall because the alternative is death or cannibalism.

If I say I can't eat something, It means I can't eat it. It Is Not Edible To Me. It's not even appetizing. It literally does not register as food. You might as well hand me a rubber duck.

And it's frustrating!! Trust me, I wish I wasn't like this, too!! This isn't a choice!! I know it can be rude!! It's embarassing!! It's complicated and annoying and irrational!! That doesn't fix the problem!!

I just wish people didn't treat this sort of thing as "being picky" or lacking willpower or basic manners or something. I can't make myself eat certain foods the way you probably couldn't cut your own fingers off. Does that make sense? It's not just food. Fuck

#Food #Venting #Rant #Hunger #Disordered eating #texture issues #Food issues #It's ridiculous enough to live like this as a kid #I shouldn't have to put up with this bullshit as an adult too #Fucking shit

[saturnrin]

I love the idea that everything (positive) that Lila lies about somehow comes true for Marinette.

Lila lies about having connections to the queen of England? Suddenly, Marinette is getting regular commissions from the queen herself and forms quite the acquaintance-ship w the royal family.

Lila "is practically family" to an Italian mafia? Marinettes grandmother has quite an eccentric background, and through her, Marinette somehow manages to get a local Italian Mafia to pseudo-adopt her. (Only because she refused to actually be adopted, much to their disappointment)

Lila "went on tour" with Jagged Stone? Guess who wants his favorite designer to accompany him for his U.S. tour during the summer?

Oh, Lila says she acted in a movie for Graham de Vanily Films? Guess who ends up accidentally staring in a Graham de Vanily film?

I just want all the positive things that Lila lies about to happen to Marinette, who is sufficiently surprised every time (you'd think she'd be used to it by now), meanwhile, in the background, Lila gets progressively more pissed.

And the worst part? Every time she tries to upstage Marinette with something even bigger and grander than Marrinettes' own accomplishments? No matter how ridiculous, Marinette somehow ends up stumbling upon That. Exact. Opportunity.

It's incredibly frustrating.

You could say Marinette has some miraculous luck, despite how adamantly Tikki denies any involvement in these increasingly ridiculous turns of events.

All in all; Lila is frustrated, Marinette is frustrated, and Tikki is very amused (as are Adrien and Plagg, who watch this shit-show from the background).

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #mlb #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ladybug #chat noir #lila rossi #tikki #plagg #tikki and plagg #tikki blames marinettes luck on her finding a face up penny on the ground two months ago #marinette thinks tikki is full of shit #tikki knows shes full of shit #this is tikkis way of protecting her lil' bug #adrien catches onto the patten and encourages lilas more ridiculous lies #adrien asks lila about her relations to american superheroes just to see how the fuck fates gonna pull that shit off #then their class wins a month long trip to gotham and/or New York #adrien thinks its funny #marinette wants to smack adrien across the head everytime she sees him talking to lila #because she just knows hes asking her about something thats gonna flip her life around for the hundreth fucking time #Marinette is so done #she wants out of this hell hole #tikki says no #all luck au

[front-facing-pokemon]

#more snootiferous angle under the cut that shows off the shape of their face more but holy shit guys this was the worst one yet #this one took me multiple Days of learning too much about how the switch renders models to do #fucking! ridiculous. for this fish. does anyone even like this fish? if you like this fish please like this fish very hard because they wer #not easy to bring you #arrokuda

[be-queer-do-arson]

Yall ever think about how Riko forcing Neil to play backliner is ultimately the reasons the ravens lost to the foxes? If he hadn't done that the foxes defense would never have been able to keep up with the raven strikers and Riko would've won. But Riko was so obsessed with his perfect court and Neil playing the exact position he did at age ten that he handed the foxes the keys to victory.

#that was truly the dumbest most dramatic shit #he was really like since you played this position at ten or eleven or smth it is your destiny and where you belong and playing any other #position is defying the will of the moriamas #like shut the fuck up that's the most over the top ridiculous shit i've ever heard #riko moriyama #neil josten #aftg #all for the game #the raven king #the kings men

[meyerlansky]

#hboww2rewatch timestamp roulette: MASTERS OF THE AIR, PART TWO ↳ rank has its privileges, boys.

#masters of the air #mota #motaedit #mastersoftheairedit #hbo war #hbowaredit #hbowardaily #hboww2rewatch #perioddramaedit #appletvedit #appletvsource #dailyflicks #violaobanion #userbells #gale cleven #buck cleven #curt biddick #curtis biddick #john egan #bucky egan #harry crosby #everett blakely #bubbles payne #joseph payne #timestamp roulette #will ANY of you believe me if i tell you i did NOT game the randomizer to get both the fight AND the wing scene in here. because i didn't. #How Many Ways Can I Color That Fight Scene #also PLEASE let me draw your attention to bucky batting croz' hand away because it makes me lose my shit every time #i'm not putting actor tags this is already fucking ridiculous #gradient text

[honeyed-lemonade]

“give us more fucked up angry female characters” you couldn’t handle s4/5 glimmer

#ridiculous. if you saw the fucked up angry women I want you’d shit yourself #spop #glimmer

[killerandhealerqueen]

This is just a PSA: do not EVER put any of my fics, unfinished or not, into AI or I will block and report your ass to everyone. You will never read another fanfic ever again.

I am dead fucking serious

#sass rants #this shit is fucking ridiculous #if you want to know what happens next in a story #FUCKING ASK THE AUTHOR #don’t put our shit into ai because it’s basically saying that you don’t care about us and our hard work #you’re lucky i didn’t threaten you with death #but i’ll do that too #put my shit in ai and i’ll fucking kill you #deadass

[mugiwarah]

Sam: Okay, you know what? You’re in TIME OUT! Get on top of the fridge! GET UP THERE!

Sebastian, climbing on top of fridge: This friendship is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

#stardew valley #incorrect stardew valley quotes #sdv #stardew #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #i like ti think their friendship is just fucking ridiculous #stupid shit like this

[p4nishers]

love ships where its like the silliest person alive and their special little meow meow the guard dog

#'gently' 'go ahead' loki is mobius' guard dog confirmed its already canon bbg was on the leash this ep and i will not get over them only #doing shit after mobius basically gave them premission nope never moving on #and then there's ofc edward 'no no no it's me u want i'll fucking kill u' teach #and also mx 'if anything happens to aziraphale i will–' crowley #like it's ridiculous how alike they r in some regards and also how i relate to each and every guard dog character out there ever #lokius #gentlebeard #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #aziraphale #crowley #good omens #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #loki series #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd

[dizzybizz]

my favorite k-pop artist turned exorcist

#crystal i would do absolutely anything for you #ok but wtf would exorcists do in a world where demons are just a thing in normal society #get the rogue ones?? do they kill them??? or send them back to australia aka hell????? #if youve never read/watched all saints street imma need you to go do that #its fucking ridiculous #10/10 i love everything about it #gordon ramsey is in it and hes the only demon not from australia and its amazing #i could go on and on and on about the shit that goes down in it but i will spare yall.... for now #all saints street #wan sheng jie #wsj #all saints street crystal #wsj crystal #all saints street fanart #my art #crystal is the most character ever holy shit

[dreamofbecoming]

amazing to me how much geralt’s vibes are carried by the two little pieces of hair in the front that get let out of the ponytail

like

this guy?

revolting. hideous. definitely runs an insurance claims department and gets off denying payments for sick kids

but this?

300/10 could get it. sexy as hell. would pull over to help u change ur tire on the side of the highway and give u his number in case u ever need help without once hitting on u or being skeezy

go-to guy for frat bros looking to lace the drinks at their parties. multiple accounts banned from tinder for harassment. horrible little man.

stunning. ethereal. is it lust? is it gender envy? yeah probably! who cares, when we can just stare at him instead of figuring it out!

nightmare. fox news commentator. lucius malfoy procreated with a spy kids thumb.

my husband. my muse. the printout i’ll hand to my top surgeon.

it’s all in the bangs. too much forehead and the sexy drains right out of him like a paper cup that got left out too long and started to dissolve. incredible.

#the witcher #twn #geralt of rivia #henry cavill #i hate the mountain scene on principle bc obviously #but also bc he looks so fucking bad #fucking shit this became my most popular witcher post in less than a day #y’all are ridiculous ily

[mod2amaryllis]

posts I've seen recently that i like and agree with but just don't have the balls to reblog because the potential of inviting a blog curse is too real:

1) Steven universe was a good show and the level of hate was weird

2) fuck astr*logy

#the desire to be public with opinions vs the fear of weird anons #m2a #with Steven universe i had absolutely zero fandom involvement or interest so it's all stuff i hear second hand after the fact #i never even finished future. because I'm a ghoul who drops good shows for no reason when my attention span fails. #so as someone who just like. watched a show. hearing the reasons it was 'controversial' is outright ridiculous #as for astr*logy yeah fuck that shit

[dragonsdendoodles]

Oh good lord are we doing this now (yes. Yes we are)

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #husk #huskerdust #pov you have a ridiculously different art style from your source material #very glad this is a slow burn relationship angel has ISSUES #speaking of. fucking despise valentino #you could not pay me to give a shit about him i hope he gets fucking murdered #make vox cry. he deserves better #dragon’s doodles

[twistedappletree]

The fact that Jiang Cheng pops up on Jin Ling’s night hunts just to insult him then probably hides in the bushes and watches him the entire time to make sure he’s safe is so fucking funny to me I juST-

#the ridiculous mental imagery that thrives from JC being a protective jiujiu #I keep picturing him with a little set of binoculars sticking out of plants and shit ajdhajAHDJQJDJKW #giving JL disembodied combat tips and criticism #he just hears his voice come out of nowhere every now and then like #‘straighten your arm! keep your knees bent! aim for the head!’ #meanwhile JL thinks he’s losing his fucking mind ajdhajjsdhdh #mdzs #the untamed #jin ling #jiang cheng #apple babble 🍎 #I say fact only for the first bit btw I just headcanon that this is absolutely what JC does on JL’s night hunts ahahhaHAHAH #jin ling and his jiujiu

[greenbergsays]

I've realized over time that I don't tell you guys too many stories about my mom so here's something that's developed over the past few weeks that I absolutely love:

My mom has taken the Teenager to school since the day he started kindergarten. This is very important to her as a Grandma Thing. She's tried to do that with all of her grandchildren but it's not feasible for 2 of them, my little sister's kids have never stepped foot in a school, and while she did it for the others at one point, they are now homeschooled, too.

Only The Teenager and E are still in public school, for Reasons, and they go to the same school

So every morning, my mom comes to my house for coffee before she takes the Teenager, picks E up, and drops them both off before she goes to work.

I used to always be awake before she got there, but I've been having trouble with my sleep schedule for a few months now.

So now, every morning, she now sneaks into my room and wakes me up the same way she did when I was going to school, with snuggles and lots of soft "time to get up, sleepyhead." (My mom was never one to wake us up with loud noises or abrupt declarations, she didn't want us starting out our day being annoyed or upset.)

This has escalated to the point where 1) I have refused to get up if I hear her coming in the house until she came to "wake" me up because I do what I want

and 2) there have been a few mornings where I've gotten up at like 5am and when she gets to my house, she'll sneakily open my door and turn off my bedroom light and that's my Signal to Pretend I'm Asleep

One morning, my grandmother was like, "She's already awake!" And my mom said, "No she isn't!!! She doesn't wake up until I wake her up!!!"

When I was growing up, my mom's life motto was, "I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid," after the commercial and even though she turns 53 this year, she has kept that mentality

Her children, obviously, follow in her footsteps

#rl shit #my mom #Am I an adult? Only on a technicality. Will you ever get me to act like one? Absolutely fucking not. #yes we are ridiculous #no we will not change