#this is all very special to me in unexplainable ways | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seivsite · 11 months

Text

SWEET NOTHINGS.

includes: itoshi sae x fem!reader. hurt/comfort ( it’s mostly the latter ), established relationship, he calls you spanish petnames, lowkey self indulgent — wc: 620

It was 3:56 am, and she had lost track of how long (Name) had been sitting on the couch, eagerly awaiting Sae’s return. Earlier, she had attempted to find solace in sleep, but restlessness took hold, leaving her uncomfortable and yearning for Sae’s tender embrace. She’s acutely aware of her obligation to be in bed, particularly with morning classes awaiting her on the horizon. Yet, an unexplained surge of melancholy envelops her, its origin a mystery dancing in the shadows of her consciousness. Unaware of the silent tears that have slipped from her eyes, she remains lost in the depths of her emotions, unable to decipher their cryptic whispers.

The bedroom doors swung open, unveiling the figure of Sae. Snapping out of her trance, her gaze locked onto Sae, her eyes shimmering with tears. Sae instinctively closed the distance between them, his thumb tenderly wiping away the cascading tears. Kneeling down, he sought to truly see her face and softly inquired, “What’s troubling you, mi amor?”

She averted her gaze from his eyes filled with concern, and Sae, recognizing her need for solace, gently enveloped her in his embrace. Guiding her head towards the shelter of his chest, he tenderly wove his fingers through her hair, seeking to offer solace and comfort, silently whispering reassurance with each gentle stroke.

Mumbled apologies escaped her lips as she nestled her head upon his shoulder. Sae tilted his head in perplexity, his voice gentle as he inquired, “For what?”

Tears welled in her eyes as she continued, “I don’t understand why you’re with me. What makes me special? I feel undeserving of your love and presence—”

Without hesitation, Sae silenced her worries with a tender kiss, unwilling to entertain her self-deprecating thoughts. For in his eyes, she was a radiant, captivating presence, the embodiment of love and beauty that surpassed all measure.

As their lips separated, Sae delicately pressed his forehead against hers, their closeness becoming a profound expression of his unwavering devotion and genuine care.

“Do not let those words escape your lips,” Sae implored, his voice a gentle caress. “In my life, you are the very essence of perfection, the embodiment of all that is extraordinary. My love for you knows no bounds, and it shatters my heart to witness you question your worth. Please, trust in the love I hold for you.”

Tears continued to flow down (Name)’s face, not borne of sadness, but instead fueled by overwhelming happiness and gratitude. Sae tenderly cradled her in his arms, pressing gentle kisses upon her forehead, whispering sweet nothings. With each passing moment, her sobs began to subside, finding solace in his comforting presence.

Sae suggested they freshen up, leading (Name) to the bathroom. While he took a swift shower, (Name) tended to her tear-stained face, indulging in a long overdue skincare routine alongside him. Giggles escaped her lips as Sae’s serum threatened to spill onto the counter, a lighthearted moment amid their shared intimacy.

By the time they were done, the first rays of the rising sun painted the sky in a soft palette of colours, heralding the dawning of a new day. (Name) had made the decision to call in sick, and Sae, sensing her weariness, insisted that she take much-needed rest by his side. They found their way to the comfort of the bed, where Sae enveloped her in a tender embrace.

“Sleep well, mi sol,” he whispered, planting a gentle kiss upon her lips.

She responded with a contented hum, the weariness from her earlier emotional release finally catching up with her. Drifting into the realm of dreams, she found solace and tranquillity in the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat, surrendering herself to a peaceful slumber.

NOTES. i forgot i had this in my drafts unfinished, so, here’s the finished piece! mi amor means my love, mi sol means my sun. i think sae calling his s/o his sun while he’s like the moon ykyk its kinda cute to me i rly like the idea heheehhe

TAG LIST. @yanqingisim @rintosei @m8bius

LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! ‹3

440 notes · View notes

marvel-ous-m · 11 months

Text

Eddie Munson’s Guide for How to Adopt a Jock in Four Easy Steps (5/5)

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four

AO3 Link

A.N.: I’m actually kind of emotional posting this! It’s the first multi-chapter fic I’ve uploaded for ST and y’all have been so lovely this week. I hope you enjoy this 2,776 word ending (damn) to this fic that I’ve SO enjoyed writing and sharing.

I want to give a very special shoutout to my best friend @lamoabss for being my beta for this chapter and also just being an all-around wonderful person. Please give them a follow, they’re so insanely talented and we’re planning to do some collabs over the summer!

Okay, onto the last chapter!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first part of Step Three is easy enough- with all of Hellfire onboard, Eddie just needs to figure out the basics of Steve Harrington: likes, dislikes, allergies, school schedule, etc. All the things that high school students share with each other in the cafeteria over lunch or between class periods. So, Eddie makes like glue and sticks to Steve’s side. For the classes they share, Eddie moves to sit in the desk next to Steve- which is, sadly, pretty easy- no one is keen to sit next to the fallen king, probably out of some dumbass fear that they would catch whatever social pariah-ness that Steve had suddenly taken on. They trade notes during the classes that Steve zones out during- which, Eddie makes a mental note, are English and Math. (The other class they share together is Chemistry, and Steve can barely take his focus from whatever their science teacher is talking about to say ‘hi’ to Eddie when he comes into class five minutes late, which he does on a fairly regular basis. Eddie also files that information away for later).

By some unexplainable miracle, for the classes that Eddie doesn’t share with Steve, some member of Hellfire can fill in that space. Jeff takes Spanish 2 with Steve, Gareth has woodshop, and Grant has art and P.E.. Eddie employs them to run reconnaissance as they work together to make sure that Steve never has to sit alone in a class, and they begin to compile information through their various efforts.

Steve can draw pretty well, but he only uses pens to sketch. He loves art class and sits at the front to see the board better, so he probably needs glasses. He talked to the P.E. teacher last week and now all he does during class is sit in her office and file papers, I think she’s making him sit out for a few weeks because she thinks he has a concussion. Based on his behavior, he probably does. -Grant.

Steve hates woodshop. He sits in the back of the class and doesn’t pay attention, and if the professor catches him and makes him actually do work, he gets this look in his eye and panics a little. He does this thing with his right hand where he clenches it a couple times until he can breathe better. He won’t go near a hammer. I don’t really understand it. -Gareth.

Steve sucks at Spanish. He said something to me the other day about the letters not making sense. With the way he squints at his paper and the way he writes… I’m going out on a limb here, but he might be dyslexic? -Jeff.

Steve doesn’t pay attention in Math but he has an A, so he’s actually freakishly good with numbers. He doesn’t pay attention in English for the opposite reason, I think Jeff’s onto something. He loves Chemistry but he doesn’t have the best grade in that class. I think he pays attention because he wants to do a better job. He’s well rested on Monday and Friday morning, but Tuesday, Wednesday, and especially Thursday he looks like he’s about to fall over all day. I catch him nodding off in Math those days, and, maybe coincidentally, his shoes are really muddy on the mornings when he comes in tired. -Eddie.

With the new information, the boys get to work. Gareth makes himself Steve’s woodshop partner, doing the majority of the building and letting Steve relax for the most part, having him only do whatever wood staining that needs to be done. Grant shares some of his sketches with Steve in class to try and make him more confident about his art skills, which works surprisingly well. Grant also brings up his dyscalculia seamlessly over lunch one day and answers whatever questions Steve has. Jeff gives Steve his Spanish notes and asks to study together on Thursday nights. Steve turns him down- apparently Thursday nights he actually babysits Dustin so that Dustin’s mom, Claudia, can go to a Bingo thing with her friends, but Steve offers up Fridays after class in the library, which becomes a new tradition for them.

Eddie can’t offer much in the way of English notes (why read Shakespeare when there are hundreds of Sci-Fi and Fantasy books out in the world?) but he does make time to talk with Steve about English during lunch on Tuesdays. They go to the library instead of sitting in the cafeteria with the rest of Hellfire, and they work their way through whatever assigned reading their teacher gives them. Steve’s pretty tired, but not as tired as he is on Wednesdays or Thursdays, so it works, and they both find themselves actually understanding the subject matter for once. As for math- well, Eddie has Steve answer whatever questions he has rather than the other way around, but that seems to help Steve’s confidence about his math skills- which really are quite impressive. Eddie also finds himself as Steve’s lab partner for every Chem project. It’s a little bit chaotic- turns out that Steve understands Chemistry to a certain extent, but prefers to mess around more than actually learn something- which, yeah, dangerous, but also fun… very fun. (Eddie especially likes to play with the Bunsen burner- call him a pyromaniac- but his antics always pull a laugh from Steve, a bright sound that makes Eddie’s heart sing, so he keeps at it despite many, many reprimands from their Chem teacher).

The winter months turn to Spring, and Steve begins to bloom at the same pace as the flowers and trees around town. He contributes to conversations at lunch, plans to hang out with the guys when he has spare time, attends their band practices and cheers them on- hell, by March he even agrees to play a character in Eddie’s newest campaign. Eddie makes him a Paladin, which he claims fits Steve the best out of everything he could think of. Steve loves the character and picks up on what it’s like to actually play the game rather than strategize pretty quickly- unsurprisingly, Steve loves it.

The Hellfire boys seem to take Steve’s blooming personality in stride- Jeff goes over to Steve’s to bake chocolate chip cookies one-on-one, which they bring to the next campaign. He and Grant bond over art, swapping sketches and gifting each other art supplies. Every time Steve receives something, his eyes get this look- and every time that Eddie witnesses it, he’s reminded of why they brought Steve into their small-but-mighty crew, and is extremely grateful that Steve is acclimating so well. Steve and Gareth are fast friends, which takes all of them by surprise. Apparently, Steve gave Gareth some hairstyling tips, and that was that.

Steve’s personality isn’t the only thing that’s changing come Spring. Eddie finds himself staring at Steve’s mouth much more frequently. In fact, he can count a number of times where he could swear that Steve was doing the same to him. They laugh at each other's jokes more frequently, share stolen moments by Steve’s locker in between classes where they speak in hushed voices about whatever comes to mind. It’s… nothing that Eddie’s ever experienced before. At the same time, Eddie can’t imagine life without these moments with Steve, and while Jeff’s cautionary words are still at the forefront of his mind, he can feel himself falling harder, and it’s slowly reaching a worrisome point-of-no-return.

Time flies, and in the blink of an eye, it’s June. Steve passes all of his classes with the help of Hellfire, Eddie fails English and P.E. again (which he unfortunately expected- another year in this hell doesn’t sound all that appealing, but he figures that he can at least hang out with the guys for another year, and with Jeff in Senior English maybe he’ll actually pass). The four of them attend Steve’s graduation, where they meet some of the middle schoolers that Steve had spoken so highly about over the last few months. They all sit together and cheer as loud as they can when Steve walks across the stage and gets his diploma, even earning a few hushed whispers from surrounding parents to sit down and be quiet. Steve’s parents were nowhere to be found, but when everyone caught up with Steve after the ceremony to congratulate him, it was clear that he didn’t mind- in that moment, he had everyone that he cared about surrounding him.

Hellfire presented Steve with a club T-Shirt as a graduation gift, which he took with a wide smile on his face and that same look in his eye. Eddie took a moment to mentally pat himself on the back- Step Three: Get Steve Fully Integrated Into Hellfire, complete. (Yeah, he fell harder for Steve, but he kept that to himself and got Steve through the rest of the school year while also giving him a new group of friends- and, theoretically, Steve was none the wiser about Eddie’s feelings. All in all- not bad, Munson. Not bad.)

The kids had to leave pretty quickly after congratulating Steve- something about getting Dustin packed for summer camp and Claudia having been the one to drive all of them to graduation- but not without Dustin and his friends making Eddie promise to let them into Hellfire when September came around, while simultaneously gawking about him letting someone like Steve into the group. (Their bright personalities and excitement about Hellfire helped Eddie feel a bit more optimistic about the year ahead- who knew, maybe ‘86 would be his year).

Once the crowd dispersed, the rest of the boys of Hellfire also going their separate ways to get a start on summer plans, Eddie invited Steve over to the trailer to share a joint and spend the night. Wayne was pulling a 24 hour shift, and Eddie figured Steve needed an opportunity to let loose before starting work at the new ice cream shop, a job Steve was dreading. (Although, Eddie was secretly pretty excited about Steve’s new job, given the embarrassing uniform that Steve had described).

Steve took Eddie up on his offer, which is how they ended up splayed next to each other on Eddie’s bed, legs tangled together and giggling through the soft haze that came with working through some of Eddie’s stash. One thing led to another, and, at Steve’s quiet, embarrassed request, they tried out ‘shotgunning’, which turned into a very heated makeout session.

The development was entirely unexpected, but, as was later revealed during a conversation at sunrise, mutually very welcomed. So maybe Step Three wasn’t entirely completed in accordance with Jeff’s warning, but whatever. This was good- actually, scratch that, this was perfect. Best-of-all-possible-scenarios, win-win situation. They started dating- keeping it secret, only sharing it with the other members of Hellfire, and then only because Jeff clocked it within three minutes of one of their summer D&D sessions starting. They were all very supportive (save for a warning glare from Jeff that Eddie was on the receiving end of), and for about a month, Steve was the happiest that Eddie had ever seen. And yeah, Eddie was the happiest he’d been in a long time, too. Sue him, Steve was a great boyfriend- and was fucking perfect in the bedroom. (12/10 stars, give the man an award, kinda perfect. And that sailor suit? Goddamn…) Eddie didn’t know how he got so lucky, but he was going to do everything in his power to keep this gift from the universe in prime condition.

June turned to July, and Eddie’s understanding of the world as he knew it completely changed come Independence Day. Eddie was woken up by a phone call in the middle of the night from Steve, who, sounding beyond exhausted, asked for a ride home for him and his coworker Robin. Eddie arrived at the scene and was shocked by the sheer magnitude of what he had unknowingly stumbled upon. There were at least five times as many emergency response vehicles than Hawkins had, the newly-constructed mall was actively burning to the ground, there was a huge crowd outside a long yellow barrier of police tape, and a few faces Eddie recognized beyond the police tape: specifically Steve’s middle schoolers, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, and-

There was Steve, holding a blanket around his shoulders, sitting in the back of an ambulance next to his coworker Robin, who Eddie knew from theater, band, and the handful of times he came in to visit Steve at work. Eddie ducked under the police tape without much fanfare and made his way over to the ambulance, pulling Steve into a hug the second he was within arms length.

They left pretty soon after that, Steve quietly explaining that he had told Robin about their relationship after vomiting their brains out in the movie theater bathroom. Which- Eddie wasn’t really sure how to unpack all of that, but that wasn’t exactly important at the moment. He drove Steve and Robin to Steve’s house, and, at their request, Eddie laid in Steve’s parent’s California King bed with the two of them. After a few hours of all of them trying to sleep but coming up unsuccessful, Steve finally started speaking. Once he started, he couldn’t stop, and an explanation of the hidden dark side of Hawkins came spewing out.

It was dawn by the time Steve finished recounting everything, and Eddie believed him without question. He trusts Steve intrinsically, he knows Steve would never lie about something like this- something so life-altering and burdensome. Besides, Steve’s story matched events that Eddie could place: Will going ‘missing’, followed by Barbara Holland, then Will magically re-appearing around the same time that Steve had his falling out with Hagan and came back to school with a beat-up face from Jonathan Byers. Steve walking the tracks with Dustin as he’d explained all those months ago in November took on a new meaning- they were searching for a monster from an alternate dimension that Dustin had accidentally let loose. The clenching motion Steve made and his aversion to woodshop suddenly made sense, too. In the middle of recounting the events of early November 1984, Steve left his parents room and returned with a wooden bat filled with nails that fit perfectly in Steve’s hand- he explained with an embarrassed flush on his cheeks that it kept him grounded, that he couldn’t sleep without it- that sometimes, when he was anxious, he felt himself reaching for the thing- but if he was relaxed, the idea of holding something even vaguely similar made him sick to his stomach.

Steve then moved on to describe the sleepless nights, how he made himself patrol Hawkins from sundown to sunup on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights, often trudging through the forest with his bat, ready to kill the next ‘big bad’ that came from the dimension existing under their feet.

Robin contributed what she could when Steve reached the events at Starcourt. After hours of talking in hushed whispers under the covers of Mr. and Mrs. Harrington’s bed, the three of them passed out, too exhausted to keep their eyes open.

The next few weeks were hard, but the three of them got through the nightmares together. Before Eddie knew it, the school year was starting, Robin and Steve were inseparable, working together at Family Video (because the two could barely spend a minute apart), and July 4th, 1985 felt like a distant thing.

As the months passed, Eddie and Steve’s relationship only became stronger, and in March of 1986, when Eddie watches Chrissy Cunningham be killed by seemingly supernatural forces, he knows who to call.

With a proactive start on things, they kill Vecna on the first try. No one dies- really, the worst that happens is a couple of scratches here and there. They live.

They love.

One day far in the future, as Eddie watches his husband play with their daughter, he thinks back to that November day in 1984, and sends a quiet thank you to his younger self. That Eddie in the library may have had no idea the long-lasting effects that his plan would’ve had on his life, but Eddie couldn’t be more thankful. Steve was nothing like the ‘lost sheep’ Eddie had initially assessed him to be- he had grown so much, found himself, accepted himself. He was Steve. Eddie’s Steve. He was his own, beautiful, intelligent, kind, sometimes-awkward (yet adorably so), person.

Secret, Unplanned Step Four: Make Steve Harrington Fall in Love with Me (While I Fall Irresistibly in Love With Him), complete.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @ellietheasexylibrarian @cuips-not-cute @melodymeddler @i-have-three-feelings @sc00ps-ahoy @singmeyoursimpsong @patchworkgargoyle @spectrum-spectre @devondespresso @thesuninyaface @obsessivlyme @angeldreamsoffanfic @carlyv @nburkhardt @inspirationorinsanity @rebelspykatie @my2amgaythoughts @lavenderagenda @just-a-tiny-void @mamafaithful @breadboi66 @beholdingloser @randomfandomcontent @oftirnanog @yellowdevilkitten @steves-strapcollection @keep-er-steddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bisexualdisastersworld @jinxjinn @copingmechanizm @blackpanzy @failedstarsandgoldenclouds @evix-syne666 @crisisinverted17 @satan-is-obsessed @shrimply-a-menace @anaibis @trashcanniballecter @thoughtfulbreadpolice @awholedamnmesstbh @chaoticvictorianspirit @jcmadgirl @satan-is-obsessed @tommyvelvet @sleepdeprivedflower @fruitmix @carvingsnowdogs @annabanannabeth @rhyswritesreadsandcries @a-little-unsteddie @goodolefashionedloverboi @escapingthereality @aellafreya @lololol-1234

#stranger things #stranger things fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #my writing #1984 steddie meeting au my beloved #steddie fic #pre s4 #pre s4 meeting #s2 rewrite #steve harrington needs a hug #hurt/comfort

481 notes · View notes

rheasonly1 · 5 months

Text

You and Daryl had been in the dating game for 4 months and it was safe to say it was going well. You enjoyed your time with Daryl even more ever since you decided to push your relationship to the next level. However, recently you seemed to notice something different about him. Considering the fact that you two we’re together he didn’t half disappear on spontaneous runs and be gone for days on end.

You tried to convince yourself it was normal and that this had been happening before you two became close. It didn’t work you still felt that funny feeling in your stomach every time he returned. It would take a while for Daryl to become comfortable with you again after one of his trips. He would sleep on the couch for a week or two and barely speak to you until one day he’d go back to normal as if none of it happened.

You decided to turn a blind eye, scared that if you confronted him about it that he would shut down and distance himself further away from you.

That time had come again where he was packing his bag in the kitchen and not saying a word. After months of this happening you started to feel frustrated, the relationship felt very one sided and you needed to tell him how you felt.

He zipped his bag closed and picking it up he went to leave.

“Not so fast.” You said loudly.

He spun on his heel almost stumbling over at your strong, confident sentence. He shifted uncomfortably under your gaze and started fidgeting with a strap on his bag.

You rested one hand on the counter and one on your hip.

“You gonna tell me where you’re going this time? Or maybe where you’ve been going all these months?”. His eyes widened and his mouth opened to speak but no words came out. You jerked your head gesturing for him to speak.

“Just out fer supplies.” He mumbled.

You snarked at his very lame excuse and shook your head in disbelief.

All of a sudden Daryl found the floor very interesting and it was as if his eyes were glued to the ground.

You scoffed to yourself.

“You know what? Who am I to pry? I’ll see you…whenever I see you next.” You said enthusiastically but sarcastically, suggesting you didn’t know when you were going to see him again.

He slowly turned back around and walked away and soon enough hours had passed after his leave and you were left alone in the house again.

You had cried a river of tears throwing ideas about in your head. Was it something you had done? All the way to. Had he found someone new?

No. You wouldn’t blame yourself for his unexplainable actions. Swiftly, you got to your feet and grabbed some of your belongings.

After shoving it all into a bag, you quickly put on your boots and lazily knotted the laces. Without a second thought, you strode out the door letting it slam behind you.

You swung your bag over your shoulders as you sneaked out the gap in the wall, leaving the commonwealth behind for a couple of hours maybe even days. Who knew? Not you.

Night had fell upon you leaving you using your only useful senses to track down the archer. His dense footprints you had no sight of since the sky had been consumed by darkness.

A crunch of a tree branch snapped you out of your focused manner and you spun around immediately with your weapon in hand. You cautiously scanned the area for any threats.

The place of a firm hand on your shoulder made you do a full 360 as you attacked the stranger behind you. You were quickly stopped in your tracks with an arm secured around your neck.

“Watch it tiger.” That familiar voice invaded your head once again and drove you crazy. You had forgotten what you had intentionally came for and had gotten easily distracted.

You didn’t bother to try and get out of his grip you knew his touch all too well and it wouldn’t be mistaken.

He let go and turned you around holding you by your shoulders.

“Why are ya out here?” he asked suspiciously.

You huffed and dug your boot into the ground kicking some gravel around with your toe.

“I wanted to see what was so special about it. You know because you’re always out here.”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging it with the tips of his fingers.

Suddenly he had you pinned against a tree, the bark digging into your shoulder blades causing you to groan and squirm. He hummed in your ear getting hard at the sound of your moans. Holding your two arms up above your head, he used his free hand to trace the outline of your curves. He went up and down your torso all the way to your hips going slower each time. It made you tense every time his fingers lingered at your waist.

“yer wanna know why I’ve been pushing myself further away from ya?” He whispered close to your ear.

You nodded your head squeezing your eyes shut as he continued to feel your body with his big calloused and rough hands.

“It’s because ya keep me up at nigh’. Can’t be in the same bed as ya without touchin’ ya.”

His words made you freeze in your spot. For a minute the world stopped, you could hear your shaky breaths and your heart beating through your chest. He placed his hand on your heart.

“This is how ya make me feel. Can’t keep m’self composed when yer around.”

Before he could say anything else you pulled his face to yours and you crashed your lips against his. You ripped off his flannel shirt and he pulled off yours chucking it on the floor.

Your bra quickly landed on the ground and you had both entangled yourselves into one hot steamy mess. There was no time to waste. You had both longed for this moment and there was no stopping the two of you. His hands roamed all over your body like an explorer in a jungle.

His mouth attacked your nipples, sucking and biting, swirling his tongue around them. You grabbed a hand full of his hair and guided his head following the circular shape of your breast as he played with it inside his mouth. As he let go, a long thick stretch of saliva still travelled its way between his lips and your nipple.

A loud pop escaped his lips as he stopped sucking on your nipple like a baby with its dummy. Slowly he got down on to his knees leaning back on his heels. He admired every part of you, head to toe. He shuffled closer to you and ran his hand along the back of your right thigh. He lifted it and placed it over his shoulder, placing kisses along the inside from the bottom to the top.

He paused and stopped at your already throbbing cunt which was concealed by the denim shorts you were wearing. He quickly undid the button and pulled down the zip revealing you not wearing any panties.

“Ma dirty girl.” He growled against your skin, his voice acting as your own personal vibrator.

Pulling down your shorts, he gripped your thighs tight which now had your leakage dripping down them. He used his tongue to clean up the mess on your legs humming at the taste of you. You groaned at the feeling of his wet tongue against your skin making you all hot and bothered. He teased you placing kisses just out side of your lips before actually running his tongue along your clit.

That was it. Just him even slightly wetting your folds with his tongue sent you into a frenzy. Your eyesight went blurry and all you could see was doubles of everything. You didn’t care where you were as long as you could feel him.

Soon he started pushing his tongue in and out of you making you gasp and let out sounds you never knew you could make. He gripped you tighter digging his fingernails into your skin like a wild animal claiming it’s prey. He was a lone wolf after all.

The feeling of pain was overridden with pleasure as your head was racing and you were filled with nothing but pure ecstasy.

As much as you enjoyed Daryl fucking you senseless, you craved the tender feeling of him making you feel good, not just in pleasure but in appreciation. He wanted you to know he was yours and yours only and he loved you for who you were.

———————————————————————

Well hello there! This took a turn into a totally different direction to what I originally planned…but who’s complaining?? (Not me). I’m very VERY proud of this and I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it. I don’t know if I’d count this as a comeback because I wasn’t even gone that long but if it was it would definitely be a strong one.

#daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #daryl imagines #daryl x reader #daryl x y/n #daryl x you #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon fanfiction #twd daryl #the walking dead

246 notes · View notes

bedoballoons · 3 months

Text

Please!! I wanted to do more so badly because not having the full spectrum of fairies was killing me!! So thank you for this request and I hope you enjoy!!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️

{༻~Wink Part 2~༺}

CW: Fluffy except for the tiniest bit of angst in Dilucs! I used the rest of the fairy types I knew for this part!! Also I know the light fairy technically counts as sun and moon, but I wanted one more character so moons a separate fairy type in this 😭

First part

(Includes: Diluc, Kaveh, Heizou,and Wriothesley!)

𑁍༄Diluc: <Fire fairy>

You stared into the fireplace, your wings almost glowing in the flickering light...the flames had always captured your attention, made you feel warm and safe...but even they couldn't calm your racing heart. Your bravery had finally showed it's full force...your once hidden identity now in plain sight for the man you loved. Wether he accepted this version of you or not was purely up to fate...

"Diluc..." You felt your voice crack in fear, you were so vulnerable right now, something you weren't very often and he usually wasn't either, one of the reasons you got along so well..or used to if this ended the way you wished it never would.

"I'm not upset, or mad. I'm not even that surprised...I've seen lots of unexplainable things and I've always figured there were creatures no one new about, but I am worried. I care about you alot, I care about your safety and I don't want to see others coming after you for being something they want to learn more about...so regrettably, I'm going to ask you to keep this secret from everyone else."

He took your hand in his as you nodded, what he said was reasonable and you weren't really worried about keeping the secret from everyone else, as long as he knew the real you...that's all that mattered.

𑁍༄Kaveh: <Animal fairy>

"I'm speechless.." Kaveh sat in front of you, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide with shock...you were surrounded by over a hundred animals, but that wasn't even the craziest part. You'd sprouted wings, full blown, glittery, shiny wings...and honestly they were so beautiful he was getting inspired to sketch a new window design from the sparkle alone. How could he even accept this reality though...that you were a fairy...with actual powers and everything??

"It's really not that bad is it..." You moved so you were sitting next to him...birds leaping from your shoulder to his and furry creatures like red pandas and baby boars taking place in your laps. You were scared of what he might think but you couldn't keep the secret any longer. How could you...he was the man you loved.

"It's not bad at all...it's actually really beautiful, you're beautiful and though this is alot for me to handle, I love you the same as I did when I didn't know....does this mean we can have extra pets around the house?" He tapped the boars snout, earning a little squeak that made him chuckle,...of all the ways you'd expected him to react...this was better.

"Yes! We can even have crystal flies take shelter in our house when it rains and the Aranaras-"

"Wait- Those are real too??"

𑁍༄Heizou: <Technology fairy>

Heizou had a smirk on his face and honestly it was leaving you more than confused..why was he so smug? You'd only shown him your wings and told him what you were... certainly he hadn't...figured it out.. "You're not surprised at all?"

"I apologize if you wanted me to be, but being in a relationship with a detective comes with it's price. I knew something was different about you the second we met...your ability to build certain machines...how ones would suddenly work or not work whenever you were around. You had a special connection to them...and pair that with the few times I've mentioned fairies. You'd always comment about how I was wrong, they didn't act the same way fairytales portrayed them. How could you know unless..."

"Unless I was one.." You looked away, feeling slightly silly for making such a big deal of it..., "You never treated me any differently...even after you'd figured it out."

"I never would. I love you. Wings won't change that."

𑁍༄Wriothesley: <Moon fairy>

You sat in front of the large thick glass window...the moon a blur shining on your wings, making the rest of the room appear dull as your legs dangled from the viewing railing. It wasn't often you saw this place empty...it was almost eery, showing your secret after being in hiding for so long..., "You too me your secret....and now I've told you mine...so what do you think Wrio.."

He was leaning against the wall, the darkness of the room almost leaving him completely out of view, you couldn't even read his expression if you tried. "I think...my secret wasn't nearly as good as yours." He pushed off the wall and walked slowly towards you...his hand reaching out to touch your face, "I think,..you thinking I wouldn't like this version of you was the worst guess of the century. Seeing what I do everyday, I didn't think magic existed anymore...you've proved me wrong."

"Wrio..." You smiled softly and leaned down to kiss him, feeling like you could float away. Nothing was hidden between the two of you anymore...his past was his past and you were you and the two of you...were happy and free.

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day!~*⁠.⁠✧

134 notes · View notes

queerfables · 8 months

Text

What is Maggie?

I've been rotating a few different Maggie related posts in my head, because I don't know what she is, but I'm absolutely convinced she's something. Our very first impression of her is a spelling mistake, a quirk that's later connected to demons, and I absolutely refuse to believe it's a coincidence. It's too conspicuous and unexplained. I have at least one more detail oriented posts to come, but I'm starting with my big picture theory, because it's short and sweet and gives me something to build on.

I don't think Maggie is a demon - or, for that matter, an angel. She talks about having a childhood ("I've loved this shop since I was a baby") to Aziraphale, who presumably must have known her as a child, even if only peripherally. That supports the truth of the things she says when she talks about her background: the record shop has been in her family for generations, she wasn't the sort of teenager who drank and stayed out late, she grew up with brothers. She has a past and a family beyond the world of what we see. But she also resists Aziraphale's attempted miracle, and okay, I have no actual evidence for this, but I'm convinced that even if Crowley was the one who locked her and Nina in, she was unconsciously responsible for their phones going out and the passers-by ignoring them ("It’s funny, I was sort of hoping we’d have a chance to talk...")

I think Maggie is something like Adam. Maybe she's a nephilim, the child of a human and an angel, or maybe she's a cambion, the child of a human and a demon. Given the "institutional problem" that heaven definitely doesn't have, maybe she's the offspring of an angel and a demon. Whatever the precise lore, I think she is something not quite human, halfway between heaven and hell, and therefore, like Adam, humanity epitomised. I think she has the power to bend reality around her and that suspicion slides off her like - well, you know. But I think she grew up a normal kid with a normal life, experiencing the world the way any other human does. And although there are a couple of details that give me pause, I ultimately don't think she has any affiliation with heaven or hell. I don't think she's aware that she's anything special at all.

If I'm right, there might be others like her out in the world. If it's coming down to The Really Big One, heaven and hell against humanity, earth could use a few hidden aces. And just personally, I don't want the world saved by invested angels and demons alone. I want humanity front and centre of that fight.

#good omens maggie #good omens #good omens meta #fable talks good omens

233 notes · View notes

crystaldivination · 1 year

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔

‹ 𝑃𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑 › ♥︎ 𝑂ℎ… 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢

⤷ Valentine’s special ⁀➷ ⤶

Hello beautiful souls ♡︎ it’s been a while. I’ve planned to go after my pick a card schedule but since it’s Valentines’ Day 💌💘 I decided to squeeze this in between. For those who have already found their other half I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. Make romantic and beautiful memories with your lover. As for my single souls who is looking and waiting for love especially on this day, don’t worry because there is someone waiting somewhere out there for you already. When the time is right they’ll show up. For now we can find other way to celebrate love that doesn’t involve romance right? I hope you get to spend time with your loved ones on this day and do something fun. Have a beautiful time for yourselves. You deserve it ❣︎

That to be said, I hope to provide you with some lovely messages from the person of your mind or anyone who is thinking about you with this intuitive pick a card reading. In this reading we will be looking at who is secretly having feelings for you and how they feel about you. Check out the 2nd part of this Valentine’s edition here.

⭒ masterlist • paid services • tip me

How to choose a pile? Take a few deep breaths ＆ look at each piles separately. Trust your intuition to pick your pile.

The piles ┊

left ➜ right

Disclaimer ┊this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn’t. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏

"Oh tell me if there is anyone like her. No, there is no one like her."

This person might be someone you know or someone near your orbit. They seem to believe there is a connection between you both right before seeing or meeting you. Love at first sight. They feel something unexplainable when it comes to you. They find you captivating and attractive, not to be said, very intelligent. In their eyes you embody the person of both beauty and brain. You actually are. They are very romantic and a dreamer. They’d want you to notice them if you haven’t already. For some I guess this might be a crush who is too shy to approach you and just like to observe you from afar. They like to fantasize about you and how it’d be like if you guys were together. I heard the word "each other’s" so they might be slightly possessive or just want you guys to belong to each other. It doesn’t seem to be toxic. I just feel like they’d want a love that’s like a fairytale. They have a heart of an artist. You could even be their muse. Their source of inspiration. You literally inspire them everyday. I heard something along the line "You are so beautiful and smart that I could write a million unique poems for you". Aww pile 1 they are so sweet. It’s a shame that they’re keeping it to themself. If they could only show it to you just like how they’re willing to tell me this… I’m also getting that you occupy their mind 24/7. Sometimes you could be popping up out of nowhere and they might even see hallucinations of you in front of them. Omg. They’re that in love with you. I’d even say you are one of the rare people that they admire every bit of. They really want to cherish you with all their heart because they believe you deserve every of it. You’re so kind and just a dream person for them. They’re putting you on the pedestal fr. They wouldn’t want to come out of their dream any soon but they do know that it’s not the reality so that’s kinda sad. If they could be yours they’d want to provide and cater you with love and everything you need. Your desires are theirs to fulfill. They’d want the best out of the best for you. They really seem like a giver.

Some hints to know who they are:

Masculine energy, books, glasses, tall and brown haired, casual looks, notebook with a pen, twirl pen, might like to rest on a bench, connected to nature

The song matches the vibe of this connection from their pov ⭒۟ ׁ

Especially this part ⌵

{It's you, it's you, it's all for you}

{Everything I do}

{I tell you all the time}

{Heaven is a place on earth with you}

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

"They got me thinking about them"

This is a little bit confusing to me because the person I’m getting for this pile seems to be…how could I say…a little bit out of their mind? Maybe they’re quite oblivious in general or they don’t really care about most things. They aren’t the type to chase the high or hang out in groups to be part of something. They prefer to not be influenced by anyone and to be on their own. Not a loner or anything, they just don’t need other people or stimulations to function well or to build confidence. To them those things seem a little "superficial". They know what they enjoy and who they value so they only keep the minimum of what’s important to them and who they want to be surrounded with. Despite that they’re actually quite warm on the inside and do seek sincere connections. They usually appear detached or try to portray a cold demeanor, sometimes out of this un-/disinterest but also to shy away other people from approaching or getting to close to them. This might stem from their past but then YOU came into the picture.

You might be quite the opposite of that person. You’re social, open and friendly. You might make friends easily. For some reason I’m getting that they might be a new person for you. You guys might've met at school/courses or at some sort of work related places. You might even be a transfer student/worker etc. The first moment they saw you they don’t seem to be interested at all like their usual self but you on the contrary are always curious to meet and get to know new people which led you to approach them first. Tbh your first impression of each other wasn’t really great. They might’ve been quite sassy or even "rude" to you but something might’ve happened later on and I’m getting that it was you who showed kindness to them which made them open up to you more. Over times you guys got more comfortable with each other and seem to be quite close. They didn’t seem to even realize their feelings for you at first but they do noticed a feeling being evoked in them by you. Every time you’re near them or with every encounter with you they feel a shift. You might have recalled a feeling that was familiar to them but it seems like it’s a feeling that has been forgotten for so long that they themself might not even remember what it was. Because it feels so easy and natural with you, all they suspect was them being out of their mind or that something is wrong with them. They noticed that their heart beats faster lately whenever they’re around you, they think more often about you and every symptom one gets when being in love. They slowly realize your effect on them. I heard "Is that her…is she the one who’s making me feel this type of way?". Their close friends might’ve pointed it out to them how they have changed. They could be more lively and their behavior are much more out there. Again I heard "They changed me…?" They start to notice and pay attention to their surrounding more but mostly to catch YOU, to be exact to get your attention.

Some hints to know who they are:

Detached, appear cold and un-/disinterested, athletic style, animal lover, likes to watch birds and the sunset, analytical, great at debates, quite funny or humorous, would like to tease you for fun or to get a reaction out of you

The song matches the epiphany and how their feelings develop ⭒۟ ׁ

Especially this part ⌵

{When you're with me}

{Be honest}

{Let's just be honest}

{You got me in my feelings} …

{Never understood what it feels like}

{Like the way that you're turning me 'round}

Ps. For this pile I felt like I should give some background information since it’s a new person so that’s why it’s a little longer than the other two piles.

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑

"Oh heaven please send me to her"

Pile 3, I feel like this person's heart is aching for you. It longs for you but not in a selfish way but more in a protective way. You might have gotten out of a relationship recently or broke up with someone and then heading into a new relationship maybe to ease the pain or to forget about the earlier one, either way there seems to be a third party going on. This person just want to take you in their arm and hold you until you feel okay again. They think they could be so much better than that person who’s hurt or disappointed you. They can treat you better than that. They want you to notice them because you don’t deserve that kind of connections. You should have someone by your side who cares about you, who is there for you and who will always stick with you until the end. Not half hearted or not just for a while. They are tired to see you fall down over and over again searching for the love that you need. They know that all you want and need is someone who can carefully hold your heart and held it dearly without letting it fall when it feels too heavy. That heart will loyally and obediently beat for the one who is willing to mend it. It might take a while but it’s always ready to sacrifice for you. They know all this but they’re angry and frustrated with how you could let yourself feel so worthless just for the sake of love. They just want to run to you and protect you from anyone and any danger that could harm you in anyway. You deserve so much. They are sure of it and if they could they will make sure you get all that. Pile 3, I feel so emotional rn. My heart literally pains a bit. They are really determined to get what they want for you. I’m shaking 😳. Don’t you know who I am talking about? But I feel like they can’t show themself to you rn. There might be hindrance or a distance between you guys which makes it hard for them to get to you. BUT know that they’re watching you, helping you indirectly by sending you positive energy, they really wish for you to be safe and to align with your inner self before anything. They think you’re a little out of balance and drained. Take care of yourself and try to recover first. They want you to know that you should be able to prioritize yourself, do the things you didn’t get to do before. I heard "you can love and be in love with yourself, right?". That’s so thoughtful of them, pile 3. They really care about you and your well-being. And once you’re fully yourself again, they might dare to come closer to you. This seems like a great person, don’t you think pile 3? I don’t get who they are but based on the information I guess it might be someone who is aware of you and knows a lot about you. Could be a one sided crush as well.

Some hints to know who they are:

Muscular body, feels powerless, heart ache, would fight for you, phone, take walks to ease mind, fitness studio, look a little like a "player" but is mindful, might have siblings, quite responsible, a little impulsive but knows how to hold back

The whole song matches their frustration and protectiveness over you ⭒۟ ׁ

Especially this part ⌵

{I know I can treat you better than he can}

{And any girl like you deserves a gentleman}

{Tell me, why are we wasting time}

{On all your wasted crying}

{When you should be with me instead?} …

{I'll stop time for you}

{The second you say you'd like me too}

I hope you enjoyed it! Likes, reblogs and follows are highly appreciated! I’d love to have some feedbacks as well! Thank you ・❥・

◛⑅·˚ Remember. You’re loved!

728 notes · View notes

frogchiro · 1 year

Text

Please tell me that i'm not the only one who thinks constantly about monster!ghost cuz he's been living in my mind rent free for like two weeks ;;

Like....imagine ghost being something like a primordial entity, a true eldricht horror in the form of a seemingly normal human....or is he?

Ever since the first meeting with task force 141 and seeing ghost for the first time in person you felt a weird, unexplainable feeling raise up in you chest; it felt primal for the lack of better wording, like a deep primal fear when you can feel a predator eyeing you but you have no idea where or who it is, this was the feeling when you first met ghost.

Maybe it was his sheer size, like a behemoth; too broad shoulders and chest, muscled waist and hips, thick and strong legs supporting his overbearing, too-large body. Or maybe it were the deep, black, seemingly soulless eyes felt like they were looking right through your very being; when his large, heavy frame came closer to you, you could swear you heard him inhale and let out a quiet appreciative rumblr from deep within his chest, his heacy eyelids closing for the first time you ever saw and then opening half-way lazily before resuming their unforgiving stare at you.

Soap luckily caught onto your subtle fidgeting under the lieutenant's gaze and quickly stepped in, dissolving the slightly tense atmosphere. He wrapped a stong arm around your shoulders and gave you a charming smile before inviting you in for a 'bonding session' since you 'needed to get to know your new comrades bonnie!', his words not yours.

Gaz was quick to joint your little party and offered to get his cards and some cheap booze he kept hidden for such special occasions. You smiled a little, the previous feeling of dread forgotten when you saw the smiling faces of the seemingly intimidating men openly inviting you to spend time with thwm and get to know each other. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all and you were only overreacting? Yeah, that's it for sure, no worries whatsoever.

......

If only you would be able to hear the thunderous threatening growl rumbling deep withing ghost's chest, black eyes narrowing and razor sharp teeth threatening to snap under his mask at the sight before him of another male touching something that he's already interested in.

Simon licked his lips and ran his tongue over the pointer fangs before snuffling and turning his back, retreating into the shadows. He'd have to keep a close eye on you from now on but he'd have to be subtle about it. You already noticed that something's....not exactly right with him and he had to physically contain himself from letting out a frustrated growl from the delicious scent of fear the emanated from you.

Patience and resilence will reward him, it always did. And he'd get you.

#kin speaks #this is propably crap😭#but it's like 4am here #BUT I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD #i promise if this will get any attention i will write something way better than...this #cuz i love the idea of eldrocht horror simon ;_;#if anyone out there also likes this concept and/or writes for it #pls let's be friends😭#call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader

622 notes · View notes

inventedfangirling · 10 months

Text

Pran's Growth : from pran-so-cool to pran-in-love

Since I did one for Pat I thought I should do one for Pran too although this one turned out slightly different than Pat's and far faaaar (im talking crazy levels of scrolling far) more detailed because i'm only human idk how to be brief about Pran FORGIVE ME.

Look at him he's my baby, i just CANNOT. So that now we have established that I have unexplainable levels of fondness for him, and so can only view his actions through love tinted glasses which means i'm basically Pat which means I'm super qualified to write this post, lets move on to what i actually wanted to say.

The first glimpse we get of Pran's mind (if you look in the chronological order of events in the show's universe) then its during his conversation with Pat where they discuss what song to perform for christmas.

Here we see the normally closed off Pran share his feelings (albeit about the topic of the song) with Pat with an ease that feels uncharacteristic of the Pran we come to see later. Because while Dissaya was still overbearing and controlling, Pran hadn't had to bear the worst of it yet. For a single child without friends that he could really open up to, it was natural for Pran to feel a pull towards Pat boisterous though he was, because he offered him a space where he could for the first time in his life open up in.

It could be argued that Pran didn't reveal anything to Pat (it could be argued otherwise too i will get to it soon) but for a person of Pran's nature, who finds expressing himself difficult the space Pat offered for him to express his creativity and his passion for music and song writing was by itself a lot. But it's not just that. Pran is not only talking about a random song is he? He is talking about putting his actual feelings into the song. How he likes the feeling of hesitation of wanting to jump in but being afraid to be heartbroken.

He is knowingly or unknowingly speaking about his own feelings with respect to Pat. I say unknowingly because it is hard to imagine Pran really revealing his heart like that if he really knew what he was going through at that very moment.

And how does Pat react to Pran's words. He pays attention, listens intently and encourages Pran's idea. Pran opened up and Pat let him and Pran actually felt great about it. Its one of the rare moments in his life where he could be honest about something so special.

And then Pat goes on doing random thoughtful acts like making the guitar pick out of his own ID just cos he saw Pran was struggling to play the guitar without it. He had nothing to gain and he still did that. He is nice to him. He says hi to him by the juice stand, he tells him he'd see him in the music room. Like he wants to see him there. Pran almost forgets their family feud. He was falling in love after all. How could he not?

The feeling being new to him, Pran like any teenager was curious to see what would happen?

What if I step closer? What if we spend more time together? What if i was more nice to him? Could something actually happen?

But then he sees InkPat in the music room and Pran loses the spirit he had suddenly gained.

Maybe not. Pat probably didnt feel the same way.

And then the bracelet thing happens.

Of course he didnt feel the same way.

And then the christmas show happens and they practice together again, they play music together again and music and his feelings for Pat have somehow been inextricably intertwined ever since that conversation they first had about the song. And so here he was finally singing the song in front of people, declaring his feelings out loud, and the crowd was actually cheering and grooving to their song and the whole vibe of it puts him in a space where he feels anything could happen and in a rare moment of indulgence he turns to smile at Pat while singing the song he wrote about them.

But then before he could even taste the feeling of freedom that that performance was potentially offering him, it all comes crashing down as he sees his parents standing in front of him, face aghast and anger writ large on it. And before Pran knows it he's shipped off to a boarding school away from everything he ever knew.

For any teenager that's a harsh change. For a neurodivergent gay introvert like Pran it would have been an even more isolating experience. Finding himself in an unfamiliar environment with no friends, no family and just a bunch of strangers, his only companions the anger and frustration at the whole situation at his mother and the boy who broke his heart (oblivious though he was of it).

How could Pran have let this happen? How could he have ever thought there was something there? And even if there was, that something could happen? How could he let him in? Of course it was gonna end up like this.

3 years at the boarding school pass and we can assume that Pran makes his own set of friends during this time. But we know that none if any are close enough for him to even bring up later on. Which means the one person who got him to open up, who gave him a safe space to talk and share feelings was still Pat. The one person he didn't have to be anything other than himself was, Pat. The only person who he ever felt comfortable enough to open up to was Pat. And Pran can't believe his terrible luck when he sees him stand across from him.

Unlike Pat who has seemingly gone back to acting like a spoilt child fighting for no reason who is trying to hold onto the person he had become the past 3 years when Pran sees Pat all his feelings come rushing back to him. Despite it all, despite the three years of gap where he swore to never let himself be in such a position again, the moment he sees Pat he is gone again. Because the three years felt like nothing suddenly. And he's once again standing across from the boy who broke his heart.

Why the hell did this have to happen? Out of all the universities he could go to, why this one?

And this time things are more conducive to their budding friendship. And Pat soon gives up his macho act and somehow keeps finding excuses to spend time with him. Of course Pran's feelings sprung back up in twice the ferocity.

His defences were still up but what the hell was happening?

Why is he helping him out for no reason? Why is he offering to do that? What the hell is being like this way for? Why is he smiling at his dimples like that? This possibly can't be real.

And yet. Day after day Pat keeps coming back and Pran's defenses are slowly threatening to come down and it's scary but its also exhilarating, but it's mostly scary.

And then he's proven right. To have been scared.

Because of course Pat never feels the same way. Of course he likes Ink. Of course that's what was happening all along. Silly Pran letting himself hope again. How foolish of him.

Episode 5 is Pran scrambling to pull back and secure his defenses, Pat is never getting through this wall again. He's done with this. He can't possibly be heartbroken over and over and over again for the same oblivious guy who probably has not a single clue what he's doing to Pran's heart.

And then the freshy night happens and then Pat acts a confusing combination of angry and hurt at the bar and Pran is supposed to be celebrating but he can't wipe Pat's betrayed face from his mind and then if that wasn't enough the confrontation with Wai happens and things come to a shrieking halt in the rooftop where Pran has finally had it. He tells him.

He finally lets it out, in the most Pran way he could at that point, telling Pat to not give him any hope to not do this to him. But instead of the final nail on the coffin that he expects Pat to hammer in, he knocks the winds out of him as he tells no, because no he actually does not want to be friends. He actually wanted what Pran wanted?

After all this time?

And then they step closer and wait for a while before Pat finally leans in, giving him the kiss that he had been dreaming about since god knows how long. Except the kiss is too short and maybe Pat had only that much to give, but Pran had years worth of love and want and longing he had been carrying around and he wanted nothing more than to let it all go. And so he does. He pulls Pat closer and gives him the kiss that he's been wanting to give him forever.

Pran tells Pat every single one of his feelings through that kiss. Because he was never going to ever be able to put them into words was he? But alas...if Pat wasn't putting the final nail on the coffin, then the wave of realizations that follow the kiss tells Pran that he needs to be the one to do it.

It's never gonna work out ever. This is the most they could ever have. And knowing that Pat returned his feelings doesn't make it any easier.

Because what the hell was he doing? Letting himself go like this!? Setting himself up for getting hurt again? Pat may have kissed him, but he liked Ink too didnt he? And even if he didn't any longer, their families hated each other. And the last time they knew they got close, Pran had to go through hell and back.

How could he do this to himself again? No.

It is over. It has to be over. He can't keep getting hurt again.

And he pulls back.

By miles. He is done letting his guard down and getting hurt and causing hurt. This is best in the long run. He should just stay away from Pat. No matter how much it hurt. It was never gonna work out anyways.

But then Pat comes back. Pran pushes him away. He has to give up at some point. He has to. Why would he keep coming back? But Pat keeps surprising Pran. He keeps coming back and butting in and being a pain in the ass and Pran is at his wit's end because he just doesn't know how much more he can withstand. He could see how much effort Pat was putting just to have a conversation with him. And eventhough he was staying away to protect himself he also thought he was doing it for Pat's sake too. That it was better for everybody in the long run. But Pat's steadfast efforts finally get to him.

He was still the one person in the world he could truly be open in front of. His defenses were somehow at his weakest. And sitting there on that beach dreaming of a reality where their parents don't have a life consuming feud going on Pran actually lets himself open up once again. After that it was just a matter of time before Pran was lured into the who falls in love first challenge bet. Bringing their love for competing with eo into this was the only way Pran could be eased into this.

Pat knows him so well. They've come so far. What the hell, he could win this challenge couldn't he? Pat followed him all the way to their hostile architecture trip didn't he? He would cave in.

Pat keeps surprising him though he keeps finding new ways to flirt and stump him, and Pran never to be beaten has a few tricks up his sleeve too.

Neither end up winning and things stay in that will they won't they when will they limbo and there was all chance of it continuing indefinitely and then Pat surprises him again.

He doesn't take Pran's easy out. Pran had basically offered to confess and end this bet. Pat was being handed an easy win. But he declines it. And then he surprises him even more by walking into the loss, showing up to play Kwan in a drama he didn't even need to act in, in a play he signed up for just to flirt with Pran and now the play he is offering to do, entirely and completely for Pran. At this point Pat really had the upper hand in the bet. And he still willingly volunteers to lose. He puts himself out there, knowing he will lose. Because on the other end of it Pat saw a relationship with Pran. Why prolong it any longer? And how could Pran not melt at that. Bet be damned.

And that's why he cooks curry for Pat and when Pat tries to eat it himself, Pran stops him, looks at him meaningfully and then feeds it to him, as if signalling to Pat that if you lost for me, i'm losing for you too.

And so they start dating. And Pran now has to get used to this feeling of his defenses being down. His vulnerabilities exposed and his heart basically out there to be hurt. It was absolutely terrifying. And he wouldn't have had the courage to go for it if Pat hadn't done what he did. Showing him that he valued Pran and his feelings over his own ego. Pat's consistency and sacrifice proved beyond a shadow of doubt as somebody Pran could actually trust himself with. Over and above his overwhelming love for Pat, I believe it is that trust that helped him take that step.

And Pat keeps showing him every step of the way that the trust was given in safe hands. After every fight, every disagreement, they stop and they talk and they communicate. Pran asks for time. Pat gives it. Pran asks him to keep it under wraps. He's okay with it. Pran compromises on a lot of things himself. He steps out of his comfort zone, willingly does things he wouldn't have dreamt of otherwise just to make Pat happier.

Because he realizes that if the relationship has to work, they both need to put equal effort. By being with Pat, Pran while being in a safe space gets to open up his heart in ways he would have been afraid to otherwise.

It is implied that Pran is the one who cooks for both of them, he leaves cute notes to make Pat smile when he's upset, he does random thoughtful things like putting the paste on the toothbrush for a waking Pat, he hurries home immediately to comfort an upset Pat, and even if it made his friend mad he still showed up to practice sessions and games because he wanted to support Pat and be there for him.

When Wai outs them it is the tremendous trust that he has in Pat and their relationship that helps Pran go over to assuage Pat and helps them get through it together. Every step of the way every block in the path they handle it together. His trust in Pat, his belief in their love growing more and more.

And that's why when Pran sees that Pat is quite serious about staying on at the beach, despite his reservations and fears and wanting to be there for his mother too he still goes all in. Of course he does. Of course he goes all in for the boy he has loved ever since he knew what love was. The one person who kept showing up over and over. The only one who he had complete and utter trust in, to be there for him.

Because finally, finally Pran could see what he couldn't even dream of when he was young and a life he didn't dare let himself think about in their few months of relationship. A life with Pat, the kindest warmest love-shaped boy he knew, no matter how silly he could get, he would always want to be there for him, with him and he no longer felt like he had to clutch onto his defenses like they were the only thing he really had, because no? He had Pat didn't he?

The only person who knew what it was like being in Pran's shoes, and who loved him nonetheless and maybe even all the more because of it, the way Pran did with him, because he knew Pat would never hurt him knowingly.

He could do this.

He could do this with him.

His belief in their love, his trust in their relationship, the commitment that Pat expressed to him in that conversation, ensured that no matter what challenges came up later in their fake break up era, things would still be okay. It's because of that faith that Pran knew that he could afford to go to Singapore for a couple of years and they would remain strong though it all because of that assurance and confidence he felt in himself, in Pat and this relationship that they had nurtured and cherished.

We see him grow up from a boy who was scared of feeling things to a boy who was brave enough to overcome that fear to let himself be open to hurt to crying in the arms of Pat, letting himself be his most vulnerable to braving hurt to fighting for what he loves and doing what he feels is right.

We see his growth from when he went from being afraid to express his feelings to expressing that in actions and then in words and asking Pat to do the public confession and writing a song for him and asking him how good he was in bed and demanding Pat call him sweetly.

Unafraid of his wants or desires and no longer averse to expressing them. We see him growing beyond childish hijinks to buying a gift for the man who had once hurt his mother, because two things can be true at once ( Ming was an asshole, but he was still Pat's father). He was building a life with Pat, and a meticulous planner like Pran was obviously not going to leave his relationship with his future father in law to chance.

And that's my take on how Pran went from "You still owe me" to "Every time i'm near you, nothing good happens" to "Can you please stay away from me?" to "You know that fact (that you aren't my friend) now leave" to "Someone like you what's to like?" to "You've got to stop doing this to me Pat" to "Why start when you know how it's gonna end" to "It's the kind of relationship i always avoid" to "I care about you more" to "if you want my hand be brave" to "If i do that (thinking of it as a song for Pat) then how can i ever really quit" to "Being with you already feels like freedom" to "We like each other. Why does it bother anyone?" to "I can be anywhere as long as i have you" to "I wrote this song for him." to "Give it to him for me" to "If not you i won't allow anyone else to use it" to "Call me nicely" unafraid of expressing his feelings and desires, heart more open and loving than the one he started off with.

To conclude and in short throughout the show the growth we see in Pran is perfectly illustrated in his password change from the Pran (who was uber protective of his own self and was emotionally repressed and closed off trying to appear cool and unaffected) of Pran So Cool to the unabashedly in love Pran (having made rapid progress in expressing his feelings and braving fears) of Pran in Love, and it's Pat's love and kindness that helped him along the way.

The world didn't change him. Pat's love did.

#bad buddy #pran x pat #pran parakul #bad buddy meta #patpran #bad buddy brain rot #bad buddy the series #i may have projected a bit #okay a lot #but im also probably right

154 notes · View notes

sendpseuds · 2 months

Text

WIP Wednesday: Perfect Spiral

In honor of everyone being so helpful in my quest to find Anakin's perfect ass tattoo, we've got a pretty long snippet from the beginning of chapter three [Practice].

Extra special shout out to @amadwinter and @palfriendpatine66 whose suggestions I combined for the final ass tattoo design.

Enjoy 🖤

[PERFECT SPIRAL]

It’s not difficult to understand why the locker room is so often a setting found in porn.

A room full of men in peak physical condition, shamelessly stripping down to nothing but their naked flesh, standing beneath the steaming spray of the shower to wash sweat and hours of excretion from their skin.

On paper, it sounds downright erotic.

In reality, there is nothing even remotely sexy about a football locker room.

There is nothing seductive about several dozen flaccid dicks parading around.

Nothing arousing about catching an accidental eyeful of a teammate’s hairy ass crack.

There is absolutely fucking nothing enticing about that smell.

There is, however, something strangely, stupidly, unexplainably comforting about the whole sordid situation.

Already, the little cubby emblazoned with Anakin’s nameplate feels a bit like home.

Already, this team feels a bit like family.

It’s part of the reason, Anakin assumes, that even professional locker rooms — which are otherwise decked out in all kinds of luxuries like TVs, couches, gaming councils, etc. — still have communal showers. Because if hours of training to play a sport that is, essentially, the modern equivalent of a gladiatorial game doesn’t bond you with your teammates, showering together sure as fuck will.

A form of forced vulnerability to balance out the violence.

It’s all part of the game.

And it’s always the same.

Confidence is, obviously, extremely important, but it’s never good to tip over into arrogance. Being surrounded by men who look as if they should be on display in a museum makes humbling oneself a bit easier, but overcompensating is not hard to do, and no one gets put in their place faster than a cocky rookie.

So far, Anakin has managed to fly under the radar for the most part. There were a few pretty predictable whistles that first day, and more than one mention of fattening him up from Jabba and the other linemen — whatever the fuck that means — but most of the comments have been about his tattoo.

Not the tattoo on his arm — the one that extends from his right elbow to his knuckles — black ink in the broken blistered pattern of burnt wood turned to coal, cracked and carved apart by flame. The one that had taken months to design and three multi-hour sittings to complete.

No.

Most of the comments have been about the tattoo on his ass.

The one he got his first year at Mos Eisley State because when the five coolest guys on the football team tell the scrawny redshirt quarterback that something is a great idea, it’s very easy to believe that it is, in fact, a great idea.

As it turns out, it had been a terrible idea.

The next day in the locker room, the same teammates who had encouraged him to get his own lip print tattooed in bright red ink on his left ass cheek tore him to pieces in front of the entire team.

Anakin had gone back down to the tattoo shop as soon as the lips healed to add BITE ME in big black letters.

None of them could have known the monster they created that day.

He knows better than to shy away from it — honestly, he’s grown quite fond of the little tattoo and the way it seems to disarm people — but trying to cover it up would only draw more attention to it in the end.

It’s not that modesty is an issue, a lot of guys are certainly more on the reserved side — a wrapped towel is totally normal, no need to strut around bare-assed just for the sake of it — but hiding, turning away, avoiding the showers altogether — that will draw attention and comments faster than just about anything else.

Well.

There is one thing that is almost guaranteed to make someone the butt of every locker room joke.

There’s always one guy with a big dick.

#i wonder who it could be #wip wednesday #perfect spiral #obikin #football au

31 notes · View notes

mimisempai · 17 days

Text

Just a bad day

Summary

Even for an angel with a rather cheerful disposition, there are sometimes bad days, but fortunately at the end of the day, there's the comfort of his demon's arms.

Notes

50 Types of Kisses - Writing Prompts

Kiss #39: Kissing tears from the other’s face

On Ao3

Rating G - 672 words

Aziraphale didn't often have bad days, so when he had one like today, it hit him hard.

On days like this, doubt came to haunt him, he wondered if his happiness was real, he wondered if he really deserved it, he wondered if he was worth anything.

Aziraphale had gone through the day avoiding as many people as possible and immersing himself in the most boring tasks or reading book after book to avoid having to think.

So when, at the end of the day, the angel heard the bookshop door open as Crowley returned from a session at the planetarium, he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.

"Angel, are you in there? Today was really fantastic, it was a special session for kids, and they were absolutely enthralled, drinking in my words, and I have to say it's very refreshing to be listened to like that. Angel?"

Aziraphale smiled at first at the sound of the familiar voice, happy to hear the demon recount his day with such joy, but just as he was about to answer, his throat tightened and he couldn't hold back the unexplained tears that ran down his cheeks. It was an emotion he couldn't hold back, a mixture of joy, relief, too much happiness, he didn't know. He had an irrepressible need to cry, and knowing that he didn't need to wear a mask with Crowley, he let the tears flow.

He made his way to the center of the bookshop where Crowley's voice seemed to be coming from, but with his vision blurred by the tears, he didn't see that Crowley was already there and bumped into him.

"Angel, did you miss me so much that you threw yourself into my arms?"

The demon put his hands on his shoulders to steady him, then, seeing the angel's tear-stained face, asked in a worried tone, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Aziraphale shook his head, unable to answer.

Crowley asked him softly, "Can I hold you?"

The angel nodded, and that was all it took for the demon to wrap his arms around his lover and hold him tight before asking quietly, "Did something happen?"

Aziraphale shook his head again and murmured, his voice muffled by the demon's chest, "No, it's just, you know... one of these days..."

Crowley nudged Aziraphale a little before cupping his chin and asking thoughtfully, "Do you want me to take care of you? "

Aziraphale shook his head, uncertain, "I don't want to be a burden. "

The demon replied tenderly, "I'm not asking what you don't want to be, I'm asking what you need now. "

Crowley planted a soft kiss on Aziraphale's forehead before leading him over to the sofa to sit down.

Then he pulled the blanket from beside him and, once seated next to Aziraphale, pulled the angel into his arms, wrapping the blanket around them.

Aziraphale buried his face in Crowley's neck as his tears continued to flow. Crowley said nothing, just continued to hold Aziraphale, kissing his cheeks from time to time, catching the tears with his lips.

The two of them remained in this comforting embrace until the tears had dried and Crowley felt Aziraphale relax against him.

Then he asked him softly, "Are you feeling better, Angel?"

Aziraphale lifted his head and, with a trembling smile, responded to Crowley with a kiss.

He did indeed feel better, thanks to this demon who understood him better than anyone. Since the beginning of time.

The demon that allowed him to be himself.

The demon who accepted everything from him, even on bad days like today.

The demon he didn't have to hide his tears from.

He snuggled up to Crowley again and murmured against his chest, "I love you."

The demon wiped away a last tear with his thumb and kissed his hair before holding him tight again.

"I know... I love you too."

And there, just like that, the last remnants of the angel's bad day vanished into the comforting embrace of the demon who loved him.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable kisses series : here

Ineffable Growing Love - Series post S2

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

#good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #aziraphale #crowley #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #50 kisses

42 notes · View notes

eccentric-nucleus · 2 years

Text

so back in the day i read HPMOR, right? like many people. and as it went on (& yudkowsky kept talking about his writing process on tumblr) it became more and more clear that this was fiction approached from an angle i had never really considered before. i had been vaguely aware of places like the spacebattles forum or the dark lord potter forum, where apparently people wrote stories that were mostly just a long-form way to debate "would the USS Enterprise win against a star trek star destroyer", or whatever. yudkowsky kept saying wild things like "the point of this scene is to vicariously enjoy somebody solving a problem" or "all characters should always do smart things so the reader doesn't get frustrated with them" or "i wanted to add a short arc where this character doesn't instantly solve all his problems but i was worried it would alienate the reader". (see also.) just like, expressing this conceptualization that the point of fiction was to... write a character stomping through a little fake world going from victory to victory so that the reader could enjoy the vicarious glow of having a hard problem presented to them and then immediately resolved. how smart you are for following the line of thought of the main character, who did this smart thing!!

so that was very weird, but it was mostly a singular kind of weirdness. another weird, out-of-touch artifact from the rationalists, like roko's basilisk but harry potter fanfiction instead.

anyway a while back i stumbled across "Mother of Learning", and i think my initial response to it was 'this is less a story with a plot and more a series of obstacles that are presented to the main character to be sequentially overcome'. there was a furry webcomic years ago that was a calvin & hobbes knockoff -- small child, stuffed animal companion who became alive when they were alone, whimsy, etc -- only where calvin & hobbes left the premise unstated, this comic, roughly 30 strips in, had a whole plot explaining: okay so these are a special kind of magical creature that bonds with children. in this metaphor susie's mr. bun is also a magical creature. eventually they start going on adventures together. my overall thought was like, oh i guess i was assuming this was a narrative framing device structured around the themes of the work, but actually this was all meant to be fully diagetic and fully explained as part of the work's "worldbuilding".

anyway mother of learning is like that but for groundhog day. the time loop isn't an unexplained device used to inspect a character through a lens, it's a dragon ball-style training chamber. there are "plot developments" as more information is revealed, but all of that takes a back seat to extensively and exhaustively describing every ability and technique that the main character learns and how they use them to be more powerful. mother of learning is 800,000 words long. the time loop is because they're actually duplicates of the 'real people', in a pocket universe constructed inside of an eldrich monstrosity that was designed to be used every x years by some kind of fated hero to keep it sealed. the main character has to escape partly to make sure some evil cultists don't unseal some stuff, but mostly so he doesn't lose all his experience gains.

anyway so reading that brought me to royal road. (i've always found the name very funny since my main familiarity with the term is the phrase "there is no royal road to geometry - euclid", aka there is no shortcut to learning something; you always have to put in the hard struggle of comprehension. it's actually named after... something from a light novel or something? it used to be a fan forum for a specific work before branching out into a publishing platform.) anyway it's a place to post stuff, like fanfiction.net or fictionpress or whatever. there is a strong genre constraint: they mostly want to hear about their protagonists getting endlessly more and more powerful, and sometimes collecting a harem of sexy women. it's for that kind of fiction. reading a few stories there was very illuminating, in that finally i could place HPMOR in a genre: that of the 'progression fantasy', a profoundly self-indulgent and formulaic genre that's mostly just an action story with a lot of the bits stripped away so they can describe how much more powerful the protagonist is getting. a subgenre of this is the 'litrpg', which are stories with a diagetic video-game-mechanics layer. people are checking their stats and getting experience from killing monsters and leveling up and all that. a lot of them read like text LPs of videogames that don't exist. where the author is, of course, executing a min-maxed run.

(there's a lot of overlap here between progression fantasies and like, xianxia stories? cultivation stories are generally all progression fantasies, and so there's a lot of overlap thematically.)

anyway so that was kind of a grim awareness of a dark corner of the literary world. this stuff is popular. royal road is pretty aggressively farmed by publishers wanting to license stuff so they can make ebooks or w/e; there are author patreons there that make like, thousands of dollars a month for writing chapter 1394 of "my character with a cool spear levels up more". i've read a bunch of progression fantasies but i wouldn't say i really enjoyed any of them, partly because a lot of them are really bad at like... constructing a narrative with any kind of stakes. it's all gonna be jettisoned away in favor of talking more about level ups. it is actually almost exactly the experience of grinding for levels in an RPG: it's not really fun, but it can be engaging in the moment, and also you get to see a number go up, so that's like a reward.

(i started writing one of my own as a writing exercise b/c i wanted to try some short-paced serial work that wasn't porn, and it shot up to uh #40 top-rated on the entire site. it was in the top 10 for a few days. i have some complicated feelings about that.)

recently, i've been reading a lot of, uh, gay incest teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction. a lot of it is incredibly overwrought. 200k words of characters pining guiltily over each other! soap opera antics with miscommunications and secrets! genre cliches piled up in a big heap and remixed! and like, fanfic as a genre can be real formulaic too, right? a lot of people who read&write fanfic don't read much else, and there's absolutely a 'house style' for most fanfic. but when i read fanfic i get the sense that the authors are, you know, aware of some literary conventions, of the various aspects that make up a story, and they're struggling to convey concepts and themes. apparently i'm responsible for inspiring somebody to write what i think is the only sincere donkey/shrek porn fanfic in existence, and personally i think that porn fanfic has a million times the literary and artistic merit as chapter 1400 of randitly fucking ghosthound, because porn, overwrought incest soap opera dramas, is at least saying something about the nature of human desire, whereas most progression fantasy stuff is an utterly self-absorbed thesis on "writing somebody cool and powerful is escapism so i can feel cool & powerful", stretched out to a million words.

like i guess 'i want to feel powerful' is an expression of human desire but it's a particularly flat one. i think a lot about that bit in dead zones of the imagination:

Violence’s capacity to allow arbitrary decisions, and thus to avoid the kind of debate, clarification, and renegotiation typical of more egalitarian social relations, is obviously what allows its victims to see procedures created on the basis of violence as stupid or unreasonable. One might say, those relying on the fear of force are not obliged to engage in a lot of interpretative labor, and thus, generally speaking, do not.

[...]

To be more precise: violence may well be the only form of human action by which it is possible to have relatively predictable effects on the actions of a person about whom you understand nothing. Pretty much any other way one might try to influence another’s actions, one at least has to have some idea who they think they are, who they think you are, what they might want out of the situation, and what their aversions and proclivities are. Hit them over the head hard enough and all of this becomes irrelevant.

a fantasy of having power is, i think, fundamentally a fantasy of never having to know anything you don't want to, of never having to deal with the consequences of your actions. i feel it's a particularly grim thing to enshrine into a millon-word epic.

anyway, hi, i'm back on tumblr, i guess. who can say if this will last. i'm still not happy about the porn ban! for reasons hopefully partially explained by the whole bit about porn above. also the increasing sidelining of custom layouts in favor of a uniform interface. sadly even with that it seems like tumblr is basically the only well-travelled social media site that's not a total algorithmic nightmare, although the first thing i did when i remade this account was to go into the settings and turn off like a dozen algorithmic switches that were all defaulted to 'yes'.

i ended up moving cross-country during the peak of covid b/c my former housemate started having screaming panic attacks literally any time somebody stepped outside the house (literally literally, not emphatically literally). i would not recommend it. now i live somewhere where 'fire' is a season, which is introducing new complications to my life. we'll see how things go from here.

oh yeah, also my icon has more points now. i leveled up V:

511 notes · View notes

resonancewitness · 2 months

Text

Falling down the rabbit hole (or was it the lion’s den?), becoming a turtle

I have to admit that I owe getting to know about yizhan to a completely unrelated fictional character. Blame it all on Yoshikazu Miyano and his obsession with BL manga :)

The story of Sasaki and Miyano (manga/ anime by Shou Harusono) reminded me of some of my own personal untold stories and led me to writing fanfiction — creative retelling of the canon story in the form of first-person narrative. It was easier to do Sasaki’s POV first, but to write a companion piece from Miyano’s POV, I had to do writer’s research on BL, which was mainly out of my orbit before (except for some great Harry/Draco stories I read, gosh, more than 15 years ago).

Reading and watching BL led to Netflix recommending me tgcf donhua. The sense of “wow, this is something special” led to purchasing the books and watching “The Untamed”, digging up fandom(dot) com while waiting for the books to be delivered. I have been learning Chinese recently, so I also started to try to read the manhuas.

Watching “The Untamed” was a very special experience. Something was there, in the playing of it, that rang truer than mere acting. I could not name it, what it was, but I could tell that I can recognise something genuine, authentic and exceptionally beautiful. I could not leave it be, it was like this feeling of “really real and special” was calling out to me, leaving me with questions I felt the need to find answers to.

The Facebook algorithm, which is too clever for its own good, but to which I owe some really good recommendations, started showing me reels made of cql bts footage. What a beautiful mess these reels are. Exceptionally befuddling. Sometimes obviously altered — cut, edited and mistranslated. I understood that there are more where those came from, and spent some time on Youtube. It is to a significant extent a clickbait-ey and money-hungry garbage dump, but I was lucky to see some long unedited fancam footage from the first big fanmeet and from the t-cent award night at the end of 2019.

The thing that turned me into a bona fide turtle, I think, was

watching the way one’s face transformed when the other arrived at the t-cent award night, and the way their movements synchronized, and the body language at the fanmeet. I have not been a counsellor for longer than the younger of them is alive (scary to say that, I feel old :)) for nothing. I do read body language very well and I can tell genuine expressions from schooled ones. And I can tell a good relationship from a bad or non-existent one.

I saw that what I was witnessing was something precious, exceptional; each of them looked at the other as if the other was a miracle — undeserved, stunning, adored, beautiful, worthy of all love possible.

And then it was time for the “Tomorrow Will Be Better” recording, which I witnessed as the footage appeared. I saw that the resonance between them was still there, even if they weren't physically side by side. I could see that what they have has been transforming them, making them into better people, expanding inwardly, as beautiful in their inner worlds as their outward appearance is beautiful. And at the same time, I knew by then they could be silly and playful and dirty-minded, which I also appreciate a lot in people. Very human, very genuine, very pure in unexplainable ways. Capable of overcoming difficulties without becoming jaded or conceited.

And yes, I can tell where and when what I am reading into what I am seeing is my own collection of projections and inferences, — and where and when it isn't.

I felt that my world has become brighter when I got to know about these brilliant young men. Their steadfastness and earnest commitment to choose what is worth doing, and to do it to the best of their ability, gives me hope.

I wanted to know more about them, to sort the edited versions from the real story as it had happened.

And so I found that there is a whole international community of people who treasure an untold story and carefully put it together to confirm what they felt in their hearts as true. And some part of the most thoughtful and careful core of the international part of this community is here on Tumblr.

This is an exceptional phenomenon — a community of readers of an untold story, for whom this story is so important that they hold on to it for years, reconstructing it from tiny crumbs, without much hope of ever entering into true, deep, expanded dialogue with the heroes/authors of the real thing. The readers that are themselves, obviously, transformed in some important ways, quite possibly — very precious ways. Sharing the resonant values with the heroes/ authors. Creating beautiful friendships with each other across distance and differences. Paying it forward.

I am happy I have found the turtles. I am happy I got to know about yizhan.

The resonance I felt seeing their eyes and smiles, was something so unusual that I felt an urge to make sense of what I was feeling. I created this space to write my reflections. Maybe something that I write will make sense not only to me.

If there are errors in what I write, please kindly forgive me. English is not my first language.

#yizhan #bxg #bjyxszd #witnessing something precious #sacred reading of visual texts #finding ourselves in their story #resonance #bjyx #how reconstructing an untold story transforms us?#we are made to love #becoming a turtle #mxtx #tgcf #the untamed #bts

50 notes · View notes

clockworkouroboros · 5 months

Text

Now that the 60th anniversary specials are all out, I guess I'm gonna share my thoughts about them all, because it's the internet or whatever. Overall, I do think there's a lot of good in these specials. The fan service is absolutely there, but it's been done in a different way than some of the past special episodes, and it really acknowledges I think the many different kinds of Doctor Who fans, from the people who just watch the revived series (or even just bits and pieces of the revived series) to fans of Classic Who and even those of us crazy enough to get into the extended universe. I mean, featuring Beep the Meep and the Toymaker as your two Big Villains is both ridiculous and speaks to the nature of Doctor Who fans that we were all so excited for them. So. A lot of really nice things about these specials all around.

In The Star Beast, we got a really nice blend of nostalgia for the original Tennant era with new, interesting characters and a healthy amount of fan service towards Beep the Meep's half a dozen fans. Between those three things and RTD's obvious love letter to and heartfelt (if perhaps a little clunky) support of queer (and especially trans) people, it's easy to look past the episode's flaws; namely, that it's very light on the plot, and the handwavey bullshit that retcons Donna losing her memories completely undercuts the emotional heavy hitting of Donna losing her memories. You mean it was *always* that easy? Fuck right off.

Wild Blue Yonder really brought in, for me, more than a hint of Wilderness Years Who. The bottle episode slightly claustrophobic feel, the terrifying unexplainable Not-Things, the goddamn salt—I thought this story was the strongest in the set. I think RTD, like many writers, has a tendency to try and make things bigger and bigger and bigger, when really, his best stories tend to be like this. Consider Midnight as another example—brilliant, terrifying, and also very similar to some of the more experimental stories of the wilderness years. If I had a complaint about this story, it's that I would want it to play into more of the sense of sensory deprivation that stories like Midnight and Scherzo did. But honestly, that's a nitpick. It infuriates me a little bit—RTD likes to go in for some spectacle, as seen in The Star Beast and especially in The Giggle (and also the s3 and s4 finales, and also DT's regeneration story, and also and also and also)—but some of his best work is done when he doesn't allow himself the spectacle and instead really pares everything down to the barest of bare bones.

And, honestly? The Giggle was a bit of a letdown. There are so many ways you could bring the Toymaker into Who again, and he ended up sort of being an afterthought. Neil Patrick Harris was obviously having a grand old time in the role, which is great—so why not give him a little more to chew on? I thought there was a lot that was great—Donna and the Doctor in the Toymaker's domain, as an example. I think, building off of Wild Blue Yonder, coming back again and again to just how much the Doctor has been through and how that has affected them, was also a really nice thing to include, and something that I wish had been brought up more during Thirteen's run, because she really went through it.

But that also brings me to my biggest issue with The Giggle, and that is the way David Tennant's Doctor (Fourteen? TenThree? TenTeen?) has been written in a way that still is overshadowing Ncuti Gatwa's Doctor. This was honestly one of my biggest concerns as soon as Tennant's return was announced, and one of RTD's past issues in Who has been his chronic overshadowing of characters of color in favor of a white fan favorite. (Martha and Mickey both get this treatment.) The regeneration scene pissed me off in a way that I didn't think Doctor Who could piss me off—generally speaking, I'm pretty level-headed about most Doctor Who things because this show is ridiculous enough that you sort of have to just roll with it. I already adore Ncuti's Doctor (from his extremely limited amount of screentime), but I can't help but feel that he's been cheated out of a proper introduction because he had to share his limited screentime with David Tennant, the most popular Doctor to ever exist in the show's 60-year history. Likewise, because of this ridiculous Journey's End 2: This Time It's Stupider nonsense, I'm genuinely concerned RTD will randomly bring DT back for some fun multi-Doctor fanwanks, and sort of write all over the first Doctor of color's era with David Tennant. Not that that will happen (I certainly hope not, anyway), but the fact that he's leaving it open as an option already has me worried.

So. Yeah. Maybe I'm being harsher on RTD than I would otherwise be, because the nostalgia for having him back is so ridiculously high that it's driving me a little insane, or maybe these are genuine issues. I'm not upset that he's back, but these specials—and especially The Giggle—left me extremely wary that we're going to get the same exact issues that he brought to Who in his first run. Overall it'll be fine, and again, I did get a lot of enjoyment out of these specials! There's a lot about RTD's writing that is objectively both good and consistent. That doesn't mean I'm not holding my breath going forward.

#dw spoilers #the star beast #wild blue yonder #the giggle #russel t davies #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor #sorry for the wall of text #and a reminder to everyone that you do NOT have to agree with anything that i say even a little!#i genuinely am not trying to shit on rtd i'm just concerned #so. yeah.

50 notes · View notes