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soulwillower · 3 years

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semi-charming • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested: Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :) + AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH + don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝

i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj

also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh !!!!!!!!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au,

(losers + reader are 19+.)

4.1k words

♡

the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional.

it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that.

but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake.

a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise.

it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door.

your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes.

three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.

"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either.

“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music."

you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off."

then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation.

"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding.

"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give.

"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in."

your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it.

"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him.

you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?"

you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms.

but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?"

that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person.

but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst.

your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg.

you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.

it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall.

but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!"

his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him.

"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either.

"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts.

he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet.

"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack."

he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf.

he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot.

you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you.

he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip.

it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane. "y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly.

whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth.

he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away.

you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid.

his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh.

you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from.

when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done."

"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated."

you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly.

he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.

"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are, i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk.

"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out.

"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you.

you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you.

then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own. "fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving?

he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants.

he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes.

"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down.

he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate.

he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once.

you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure.

"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.

"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?"

you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to."

you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock.

and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back.

“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly.

he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.

“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.

"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan.

his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.

you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums.

your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.

your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out.

he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce.

"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building.

"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours.

your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.

"you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to.

you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already.

he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple.

you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours.

“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close.

"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters.

you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall.

"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous.

"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease.

you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @sft-core @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie @decafcoffeew

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough smut #losers club x reader #losers club smut

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theflyingfeeling · 2 years

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So I don't know what you've already heard of the Lahti concert from other sources but here's my report anyway 🖤

The first thing I need to tell you is that in front of me there was this sweet sweet girl who needed a hair tie so I borrowed her mine because I wasn't using it and as a thank you she filmed me so many, long videos and she had an EXCELLENT view to the stage!!! 😭

I mean, I did too, holy shit they were close, my breath was taken away when Porko suddenly appeared what felt like mere metres away from me 😵

I could see all their expressions and omg 🥺 they were all so happy to be playing a show again 🥺🥺 I especially loved the look on Niko's face and in general I was happy to see him a little better, I feel like I didn't see much of him at the Tampere gig

Joel did lots of interaction with Joonas as per usual and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 sometimes he went up to stand next to Aleksi and just 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 smile and look at him 😭😭😭😭

OLLI SANG!!! ........except that he didn't 🤡 They/we hyped it up and everyone was like omg he's gonna sing HE'S GONNA SING--- and then he fucking lipsynced to the opening of a Bon Jovi song 🤠 I swear to fucking god. This man is such a troll and I hate him 💞

Also, getting fucking rickrolled at a BC concert is NOT what I thought I'd ever experience, and yet 🤠 thx Porko <3

Aleksi had a little DJ solo of his own and everyone was happy 🥰 He also jumped around the stage during Sharks Love Blood 💓

Speaking of which, The Kiss was 💀!! It happened right in front of my salad and I died, I'm actually writing this from the grave

The setlist??!?! They played SO MANY SONGS I DID NOT EXPECT THEM TO, such as Giants and Enemy For Me 😵 Giants especially was a special moment to me personally, will post a video tomorrow 💗

And they STARTED with Balboa of all the songs, blasting my brain right to the back wall 👌

Niko/Joonas flirting, but what else is new (Niko @ the crowd: "I've been looking at you all evening." Joonas @ Niko: "I've been looking at you too 😏" Niko: "who's surprised, hands up" lmaooo these guys 🥰)

Tommi didn't say a single fucking word the whole gig lol go on give us nothing, #onsealfa

Probably forgot something, will add later

I've had a shit past two months due to work stuff, but this kind of made up for it all. I love this band so much and oh god I'm gonna cry

Anyone with whom I talked about the gig beforehand knows how nervous I was (thanks for all the nice words btw <3) but, as per usual, everything went perfectly fine, I had possibly the best night of my life so far, and I'm so so happy that I went. I wish it would never have ended.

Some time ago someone sent me an ask asking what's the best concert I've been to. Back then I answered Antti Tuisku @ 2017 SuomiPopFestarit and BC @ Tampere back in August. They have now been replaced, and only another BC gig will ever compare. They are amazing live, and if you are given the chance to go to their concert, TAKE IT AND RUN 🖤

But let me tell ya, one of my absolute favourite moments happened AFTER the gig at the merch stall 🙈 This is the interaction I had with Miki, roughly translated:

Miki: *struggles to find the size tag of the WANS hoodie I'm buying*

me: it's an S

Miki: S, got it. *tells me the sum of my purchases*

me: *hands him my credit card*

Miki: *takes the card and inserts it in the payment terminal* it's a busy night!

me: yeah, but it's good you got your hands full am I right

Miki: yes, it's a positive problem! *tells me how to navigate on the payment terminal*

me: *barely manages to choose debit instead of credit and then just stares at the machine when it asks for my pin code because 1) the machine looks completely different to those in grocery stores for example, and 2) I had not expected to get to do small talk with Miki lol)

Miki: ..did you blackout?

me: YES, the numbers are in different order, you know, from the ones they have in grocery stores?!

Miki: *takes out that exact kinda payment terminal I'm talking about* no, they're in the same order

me: *upon seeing the more familiar-looking machine, remembers her pin code, THANK HEAVENS, and the payment is accepted* Y E S

In conclusion, you are all invited to our summer wedding 🥰🤣

#blind channel #blind channel @ lahti 3.12.2021 #pls understand the last part is a joke 😅#i had the best time 🥰#my concert #gig reports by theflyingfeeling

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darkandstormyart · 3 years

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Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

#xicheng #fic rec #Jiang Cheng #lan xichen #mdzs #the untamed #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi

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tinyyoungblood · 3 years

Note

don’t be shy,

post sum of those drafts

pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader

a/n: you asked and you shall receive. here are very random scraps that i pieced together and somehow it worked lol enjoy x

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the avengers on long bus rides

long bus rides are the only times where the world is balanced and at peace (forced smile from steve)

it’s also the only times when everyone will chime in on those sea shanties that steve loves so much, so that’s a plus

the team knows that their captain is a sea shanty WHORE so they always go all out for him and do harmonies and quite impressive choreos

once they’ve run out of sea shanties, they switch to musicals and it’s kind of like football jocks meet theatre kids

everyone has their troy bolten moment at some point, but it’s loki who really shines

he gets really passionate and ends up singing all parts and no one can blame him because mans got the voice of an angel and he knows it

nat is super supportive and cheers him on while recording everything. no one questions why she has a folder on her phone that is called “blackmail material”

tony likes to show his support by throwing money at loki

the others reenact that scene from harry potter where harry tries to catch hogwarts letters falling from the ceiling although there are loads of them perfectly lying on the floor

they fight tooth and nail to catch the money with a ferocity that puts the gods in shame

peter shoots his webs to pin the dollar bills to the wall like he suddenly got a lifelong supply of them and clint acts like his arrows are made of harmless rubber

rhodey joins in, puts on his suit, and almost blasts happy ✨to death✨while trying to catch a one-dollar bill

happy swerve the bus off a cliff and someone screams

(it was loki)

wanda has to save them and proceeds to bench them all for an hour

bucky, friend to no vehicles, is grumpy the entire time but y/n has made it her temporary calling to cheer him up

“i don’t like vehicles and this is why” *y/n whips out a duffel bag and slaps it* “yea, well, but what are your thoughts on sudokus”

bucky curls up in the back like the senior citizen that he is, sandwiched between y/n and bruce with a lifelong supply of sudokus scattered around him

they quietly help each other out and it’s very wholesome

tony and peter can fall asleep anywhere on the bus with their necks and limbs turned at all kinds of unnatural angles and sam winces before tearing his eyes from them

he makes a mental note to buy them neck pillows

nat suggests playing ‘i spy’ because it seems less lethal than the yellow car game but clint, sam, and thor get way too enthusiastic about it

they have their faces pressed against the window, eyes wide and unblinking, unaware that they’re frightening half of the people sitting in the passing cars

at some point, they lose all sense and just randomly name everything

“i spy with my little eye something that is red” “that car” “no” “that car” “no” “clint’s sweater” “it’s not—” “bucky’s pen, the flowERS, MY SHOES, THE SKY”

rhodey and nat are surprisingly good at that game and their calm demeanour drives the others insane

“fine. i spy with my stupid little eye something that is amber—” “bottom left button on the inside of loki’s overcoat, try again”

wanda and vision are in charge of lunch and handing out lunch boxes to everyone is a delight to them and a very. scary experience for the rest of the team

“here you go, buck. a turkey sandwich with cut off crust and extra tomatoes” “oh you didn’t have to cut off—” “😠but you like it. don’t you😠” “...yes”

peter and y/n are sharing a seat and y/n shows him her online purchases on her phone. peter is really sweet the entire time and comments on everything with genuine interest until rhodey pipes up from behind them

“you ordered new shoes? y/n, you don’t even go outside enough to justify wearing shoes”

they shush him and proceed to share headphones to listen to peter’s current favourite songs

at some point, tony announces, “alright ladies and gentlegerms, cap is making us stop the bus so we can get out and go for a two-mile jog through the woods *unenthusiastic jazz hands* if anyone wants to fling us off a cliff again, now is the time, i repeat—”

they still end up running and it’s insufferable. it’s hot and musty and just ~unpleasant~

somehow the avengers have evolved into a chaotic Debate Team and now they’re discussing who gets to be carried by thor and bucky

at an intersection, the two of them stop to catch their breath and they’re both just staring at each other, sweaty and covered in avengers hanging off their limbs

thor, prying loki off his back: “i’m sorry but we’re gonna have to do something different here”

y/n is hopping off bucky’s back when there’s suddenly a loud, ugly sound reverberating through the forest, followed by many footsteps that seem to come closer by the second

they run

branches keep tearing at their skin as they bolt through the woods but they’re not stopping because it’s clear what is happening right now

they’re being chased by wild boars

at this point they’re just embracing death and if they survive it’s a bonus

a boar comes running towards bucky and wanda but bucky “i have been falling for 90 years and i’m sick of it” barnes stares it straight in the eye, daring it to knock them over and the boar just squirms and make a u-turn

another wild boar seems to have decided that clint is not part of the herd because it sends clint FLYING in a quite impressive and beautiful arc

steve tries to ditch clint and train the boar

clint wasn’t hurt by the fall, but he stares at steve as if he might as well have broken a rib

they’re back on the bus and happy cocks a brow when he sees that everyone is exhausted and covered in dirt. he chooses to say nothing when nat climbs in with loki half-leaning on her for support and glaring broodily at the floor

everyone just wants to sleep and forget that the avengers were almost defeated by boars but bruce and sam keep bickering in the front row

“it’s too bright in here” “it’s the sun” “the lights get too noisy” “…what” “make it stop” “what do you want me to do?? turn off the sun???”

peter and y/n are huddled in a seat again, sharing headphones to drone out the noise and the moment he hits play, y/n looks at him blankly

peter, shrugging: “what? my 7 songs still go hard”

* * *

what are your seven songs that still go hard? pls tell me bc i desperately need new music <3 stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

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we-are-inevitable · 3 years

Text

OKAY BIG AU RANT BUT I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS (even though i posted all of this in the discord last night) AND UH:

modern au where most the newsies are straight and in a frat and jack is the frat president

very stereotypical frat bro, wears his letters everyday (whether it's a t-shirt of a cap or a pin on his bag), throws a whole bunch of parties and is really respected and stuff

he gets around, and has been with a bunch of girls throughout college- nothing really serious, but whatever.

everything is going great, until he meets David Jacobs at a party the frat is throwing.

and obviously jack has seen him around campus before (they're in their fourth year of college by now), and they had a few labs together back in like. freshman year, but they've never *talked*

and now, here's david, at a party with Katherine, and jack decides to talk to him.

they actually hit it off pretty well, but then jack mentions something about david taking Katherine home and David laughs and says, "Yeah, she's gonna help me weed out my grindr matches."

cue jack being like "???" because OH! jacobs is gay. huh. okay

and jack obviously makes a big show of it ("oh, sick! being gay is okay, bro, y'know, love is love and shit like that") and it's so obvious that he's out of his element but he doesn't wanna be like. homophobic or anything

and they kind of talk for a bit longer before jack drifts off to another group of people, and he doesn't think much of the interaction- at least, not until he runs into david at another party on campus the next weekend. this time, they're alone; jack is only there bc one of his buds in another frat told him to come, and david has lost Katherine in the crowd, so jack and david talk in the kitchen and get to know each other a bit more. again, everything is pretty New and they kind of friends now but they're talking and that's fine.

later on that night, jack sees david making out with some guy on the staircase, and to get his mind off of it, jack makes out with a girl in the kitchen.

over the next few weeks, david and jack run into each other a lot- enough times for them to exchange snapchats, and follow each other on Instagram. and they talk more on social media; jack invites david to some parties and david always comes, and they always end up talking- for longer and longer each time, like ACTUAL conversations about the past and their future goals and stuff

about three months after their initial meeting, though (after they've become good friends, who talk/snap everyday and hang out at least once a week), they're at a party, and jack gets pretty drunk, and he sees david making out with some guy on the couch. and jack doesn't know why, but he feels bad. angry. kind of upset. he approaches and tells david he needs to talk to him, and David says no ("uh, i'm kind of in the middle of something?")

and jack tries getting him to move and the other guy- the one David is making out with- starts getting in jack's face and calling him names, so jack... decks him.

he decks him, and he's immediately feeling guilty and bad and the commotion has stopped all around him and everyone is staring and david looks so confused and pissed off

and all jack can do is say "i'm so sorry" and run off

it's not until he's home that he realizes that, the reason he punched that guy in the face, was because he didn't like the idea of him having his hands on david.

because jack wants to be the one with his hands on david.

as soon as that realization hits him, though, jack basically has a meltdown. he's frustrated and crying and kind of throwing shit around but not really because, no. he can't be gay. right? he can't be. he literally has like 3 gay friends and he doesn't know anything about being gay and he's never been into a guy before but, fuck, he's into david.

naturally, though, jack avoids david for as long as he can. he avoids him like the plague

until one night, about six days later, when jack is drunk again (not from a party; more like self pity) and around two am one night, he walks to David's dorm room and knocks really loudly. and it takes a minute, but David answers, and as soon as the door opens, jack starts talking.

"Davey! Hi!"

"...Jack, what are you--"

"Listen, I'm very drunk. Very drunk. and I get it, ya probably don't wanna see me ever again, but I need to talk to ya, because- cause I ain't talked to ya in days, and I miss you, and I'm sorry."

"Jack, it's late, and--"

"Y'know, no one has been talkin' to me since the party. None'a my friends, no one from class... I fucked up, and I'm sorry, and I don't have an excuse, but I just... Do you know what's goin' on right now? 'Cause I sure as hell don't."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you been flirtin' with me?"

"I- I'm sorry, what--"

"'Cause I can't tell if you've been flirting with me or not, and I can't tell if i like it or not, but if you're flirtin' with me, then I've been likin' it, and thats fucking terrifying. Seein' you with that guy... I- I know we ain't a thing or anything, but it fuckin' sucked, and I don't even know why! Okay? Because I think I like you, but I've never been into a dude, and you're a dude and that's- that's fuckin' scary, man. But it'll be fine, and I'll deal with it, and I'm sorry. Night, davey."

and all david can do it watch jack stumble back down the hallway, and pray that jack remembers this in the morning.

and obviously jack remembers, because around noon the next day- a sunday- david gets a message from jack that says, 'we need to talk.'

so, david meets jack at one of the benches in front of the library, and jack looks so... broken, and defeated, and hungover as fuck.

"...You remember last night, huh?"

"Unfortunately, yeah. Look, Dave, I... I'm sorry. All of that was- was a lot, and you shouldn't have had to deal with my bullshit, and--"

"Did you mean it?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, I did."

and they're silent for a long time, until david rubs his arm and says

"For the record, I don't even know the name of the guy you punched."

"You two ain't--?"

"No, we aren't together. I... I've sort of had my eye on someone else."

and then david slowly takes jack's hand, and he san feel how tense and how shaky jack is, and he can see how scared he is, but then jack squeezes david's hand, and things start looking up. obviously they still have to deal with the fallout (and david is still very ,, Not Happy about jack punching that guy), but for the most part, they take things slow and figure it out as they go.

when jack comes out to the rest of the guys, he's really nervous and he does it in one of their weekly frat meetings, and of course there are a few of the guys who try to start shit, but the majority of the frat (other newsies included) are fine with it and are proud of jack.

i imagine all if this happening around,, December, so then once second semester hits, jack is less focused on partying and more focused on developing his relationship with david and working on accepting himself for who he is.

also HUGE shout out to the discord server for dealing with me spamming the chat with these paragraphs last night, namely @tarantulas4davey , @starz-in-our-eyes , and @santagae !!!!!

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thepoodlepack · 3 years

Note

What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.

#long post #anti doodle #text #my post #yes this took me like an hour #yes i do hate myself for it #Anonymous #oh anon im being grumpy mostly for comedy thats only funny to me #you're fine as long as you werent trying to bait me

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cattles-bians · 3 years

Text

exes au part 13

post directory

em: if anyone asked id deny it but secretly i think dani teasing jamie abt viola is The Funniest thing

[em note: this is what we in the biz call ‘dramatic irony’]

em: jamie not only did u sleep w two trust fund babies they’re Sisters and it was a weird rivalry thing

obsetress: jamie for someone who hates vi so much you sure were happy to be a pawn in her weird psychosexual power play

obsetress: "didn't say i was happy" "oh, you didn't need to. vi told me "

em: PSYCHOSEXUAL POWER PLAY

em: thinking abt 5’8 kinda buff viola featuring scrawny mf 5’3 jamie taylor no reason

obsetress: no reason

em: not thinking abt viola being able to easily lift jamie

em: no reason

obsetress: oh

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: oh no

em: clenches fist no reason

em: jamie couldn’t top her even if she tried violas like haha that’s cute (yoink)

obsetress: right before you said that i was thinking about like

obsetress: jamie hooking up with perdita pillow princess then jamie hooking up with tops the shit out of her viola and like

obsetress: the duality of willoughbae

obsetress: and now im like. yeah

em: jamies in for a Surprise

em: first she’s like oh thank god i’m not gonna do all the work- and then the monkey paw curls inwards

obsetress: just like um

obsetress: thinking

obsetress: jamie straddling vi on the bed n then vi just way too easily flips them and pins jamie's hands above her head

em: oh

em: thinking thoughts

em: jamie's dumb little surprised face

em: she’s into it tho

obsetress: like full surprised pikachu and then slow grin

em: jamie's dumb ass starts to say something like ‘oh haha i figured since-‘ and then she cuts herself off bc she’s like no actually i should not mention perdi right now

em: viola fills in the blanks w whatever feeds her ego the most tbh

obsetress: god yeah

obsetress: jamie's just like

obsetress: we've talked about this she's fuckin chatty and she's just like running her fucking mouth and then vi's head is between her legs and she's like "o–– oh" and then she shuts up

em: danis like so um you never. suspected anything? like you didn’t think the timing was weird? and jamie's like we have been over my self worth issues i was jsut happy to

obsetress: dani, chinhands: so which one was better

obsetress: jamie gives her a withering look

"you know which one was better"

"maybe. but i wanna hear you say it"

em: jamie: you cannot repeat this to her she’s already insufferable about (insert funny gaffe here)

em: jamie knows dani is going to repeat it

obsetress: dani knows jamie knows and still smiles sweetly and says she won't anyway

em: i love these idiots hannah

obsetress: the next time they see vi she is. SO smug

obsetress: em i love them so much

em: kinda weird to be so invested in ur sisters sexual prowess vi

em: it’s about the principle of the thing sweet jamie

obsetress: dani is just smug because she wasn't even a player and still ended up winning the weird psychosexual rivalry

obsetress: jamie: actually, uh

jamie: don't you all think i'm the real wi––

dani and vi and perdi: no

em: she is in my heart,

obsetress: dani, kissing her into the mattress later: i think you are jamie: no, you think you are dani: mm

em: jamie and vi and dani and rebecca and even perdi goddamn perdi we are gonna get you so laid

obsetress: lmao rebecca just in the corner with a drink like what did i ever do to deserve this

obsetress: perdi showing up to vi's christmas brunch w the five of them and being like

obsetress: "good news everyone. i met someone"

obsetress: and vi's sickly sweet condescending like "oh, what's their name?" and rebecca's already shooting her a look

obsetress: and perdi's like "pet––" and rebecca's like actually you know what absolutely the FUCK not

em: thinking about perdi bringing violas EX HUSBAND to christmas for the drama of it all

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i think both of these things can happen

em: perdi almost goes after eddie for yet another deranged power play but dani just grabs her arm and says ‘you absolutely fucking will not’

em: leave that dumb gay boy out of it

obsetress: god and like of COURSE dani's the only one she actually listens to bc again

obsetress: terrified

obsetress: the dubm adagyagladsjkf aldsjf kbyoh

em: Terrified

em: rebeccas like ‘wow i didn’t realise dani could be that intense’ and jamie just sighs dreamily into her egg nog

obsetress: rebecca's pausing, Realizing

obsetress: turns to look slowly at vi

obsetress: cocks her head

obsetress: raises an eyebrow

em: jamies like oh don’t worry ur plenty intense becs

em: because she thinks that’s what becs is concerned abt

obsetress: wow

obsetress: anyway i'm about to pivot

obsetress: tahirah posted some insta story of some zipline place and it just made me think about exes au group vacations

em: omg

em: the Chaos

obsetress: dani and jamie just wanna like. chill

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca are up at six am at the resort gym

obsetress: doing lunchtime spa treatments

em: dani and jamie having a tasty little beach nap

em: dani draws a smiley face on jamies stomach so she has like. a weird smiley face tan for Too long

obsetress: ,jakljkdsf

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: jamie's like "chicks will dig this right? it's like a scar"

obsetress: and dani just laughs and swats at her

obsetress: jamie, deciding to have a little fun: vi, chicks will dig this, right? do you dig it or

em: comically slow wink

obsetress: rebecca's catching dani's eye over the top of her sunglasses and they're exchanging a look

em: i KEEP thinking about 'i fucked ur ex'

em: and danis lil 'did you though bc i really dont think' like it CRACKS me up jdshfbanf

obsetress: nddndnndndndnd

obsetress: it’s so funny to meeeEEEEEEE

em: like i know we have the silly little tumblr posts but thats canon to me now bc it tickles me so much

[em note: ;/ ]

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: it's canon to me too

obsetress: dani, sitting in jamie's lap one night, all of them absolutely shitfaced: hey rebecca? becca: hmm? dani: do you ever think–– no. no, nevermind

#‘weird psychosexual power play’ is my fave combo of words ever fwiw #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #this ones silly! and short! theyre all silly but #this ones pretty short so ill post another in idk 8 hours sajhfsb #when i wake up #Sorry For Crack Shipping Jamvi On Main

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attack-on-kiwi · 3 years

Note

Alphabet for floch alphabet for floch??? 😳😳😳

This got kind of lengthy, so I’m putting it under a cut:)

This was open on my computer all day and I just remembered I never clicked post lmfao

Floch Forster:

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Floch loves to go for walks in the districts at night. If they’re not in a town, then he likes to sneak into their barracks and convince them to go on a walk during the late evening. He won’t tell his s/o, but he likes using the cold air as an excuse to latch onto their hand or attempt to have them hug him because he is C O L D and if he freezes, it would have been a preventable death on their part.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

A bit cliche, but Floch truly admires everything about his s/o. He believes them to be the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on, and he’s no stranger to bragging about them to anyone and everyone. Chances are, he’ll even brag about his s/o to his s/o. “You’re so unlucky because you have to live not knowing what it likes to be someone that loves you” He’s a little shit.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Floch’s not that great at comfort. If they’re panicking, his first instinct is to tell them the situation sucks, but they can’’t seriously be freaking out NOW, can they? Honestly, he never grows out of the blunt and borderline arrogant and pragmatic sense of his, but he knows seeing his s/o upset doesn’t make him feel great. If he can get his hands on some tea or take them away from what is triggering them, he’ll do so.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Floch is idealistic about their future. He believes once everything is in control, he can offer his s./o a life of ease and treat them like the royalty they are. He doesn’t care about kids, but would agree if his s/o desired so. He pictures himself living in a nice multiple story home with a large garden where his s/o and he picnic while watching said potential child (or furry companion) make a mess of themselves.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He tries to be dominant, but he can be cunning when it comes to the relationship. He likes to impose himself and look bigger than he is by having his arms around his s/o and walking straighter. Most of their decisions seem to be based on mutual agreement, but Floch has a way of guiding his s/o into agreeing with his point of view. Call it toxic or call it being persuasive-- he usually gets what he wants.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Being in a relationship with Floch means almost always having a debate. He’s confrontational and speaks his mind. He’s also quite stubborn when it comes to his beliefs, so it’s often that he and his s/o will have a dispute.

Floch is really good with his words, but the poetic ring of his voice can quickly turn into venomous jabs at his s/o. He’s relentless-- especially if the conflict involves doubt of fidelity or his morals. He’s also a suspicious person, and without meaning to, he may hurt his s/o by questioning their loyalty.

Forgiveness is difficult for him. He and his s/o will need space, be it a f ew hours or a few days, before he’s ready to clearly discuss.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He truly is grateful- he just can’t express this in a manner that isn’t him bragging. He loves to be cradled in their hold and eats up any sweet nothings they want to throw at him. Words mean more to him than anything else. His s/o gives him something to believe in, and he’s latched on. He doesn’t tell them how much he appreciates them, sadly.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Floch doesn’t think he keeps secrets,-- he just doesn’t divulge in unnecessary details. He will tell them information relevant to them, but won’t go in detail about his work or other affairs. For example, he won’t care too much about telling them about his missions in specifics, but he will speak to them about Jaegerist ideology and how it makes for a true future.

He prefers to be honest with them, which can be interpreted as rude or blunt.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Floch wouldn’t say they have. If anything, he’s more obnoxious. His s/o truly learns how to be more open minded and patient when dealing with him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Yes, Floch gets jealous at the drop of a pin. Whenever anyone is giving his s/o attention that’s even the slightest bit suspicious, he’s going to be both on their asses and on his s/o’s ass. He’s quick to intervene and blow a fuse. He won’t blow up at his s/o in particular, but he’ll tell the perpetrator to fuck off and if they need something, they have to get it through him. He deals with it by just having his s/o near him. Whether he shares his concerns or not depends on his mood.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Floch’s kisses are surprisingly gentle and he likes to rest his lips on his s/o’s when he’s out of breath. He won’t pull apart, just catch himself and continue.

Floch’s first kiss was awkward. He noticed his then not-s/o was getting close with another person he didn’t like that. He remembers waiting for his crush outside the barracks. He’d gotten one of the other cadets to call them for him. When they were in his presence he just blurted out “I want to kiss you” and when there was no objection, he did. He remembers missing their mouth, whispering curses right in their face then trying again. Whenever they bring it up, he denies any memory of it.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Well, if his first kiss was anything to gauge from, it’s a bit of a mess. It’s not really on his mind to tell them he loves them. His s/o is the one who has to smack some sense into them and confess to him after a mission. He’s nearly bursting from that really weird warm sensation in his chest, but he’s also taken aback. Do they need to be so embarrassing about it?

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Floch wants to get married for the reason of just fulfilling a desire of having a family. To him, being married signifies that his life is on the right track and that he’s winning. He won’t by any means rush into it, though, waiting for the right person is important. After all, he’s not trying to be miserable.

He’ll propose by the sea side, traditionally, of course. He makes it a point to wear a relaxed outfit and he looks quite dashing in the sunset, waves reflecting in his eyes. He’ll just approach his s/o and mumble something about how he loves them and wants to see the rest of their lives play out before popping the question. The way his brow is furrowed, one would think he’s irritated.

Marriage with Floch is like normal. He’s still just as possessive and relentlessly teasing. Unless something dire happens, there’s no notable change. (He’s the type of guy who gets really upset if you don’t wear your wedding ring but he won’t wear his bc ‘it’s gonna tear off my finger if I’m called to action’).

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Prince/Princess, Majesty, very fantastical names that often allude to royalty and etherealness

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Possessive? Possessive. Easy for him to get in his head. He means well, but he’s not at all skilled in displaying so with his words and actions. He wants to be with them at every waking second and gets extremely protective. It’s easy for others to see that he’s claimed his s/o, what with his constant hovering and making sure he’s got eyes on them. Part of this is due to a fear of losing them at any given moment, which simply magnifies his desire to be in their presence.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Floch doesn’t go out of his way to hide his relationship, and he doesn’t consciously try to flaunt it. He’s going to praise his s/o, and this translates into him bragging about them at any given chance. He’s not going to outright make out with them, but he will have his hand on their back or try to have them attached to his hip when the two are together-- especially if it’s in a group setting.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Due to his paranoid nature when it comes to his s/o, Floch is quite skilled at detecting when they’re not being honest with him. He’s not completely accurate, but he’s well versed enough in their tendencies to predict their next move or how he can help take the edge off. He’s particularly good at detecting any anxieties they might be experiencing.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s romantic in the sense that he will get his s/o whatever they want and shower them with more affection than they know what to do with. Once he’s loyal to someone, he puts his all into the relationship, though this can come off quite strong should they not be prepared.

One of his favorite ways to uplift his s/o is by going on evening walks and talking about their future. He won’t bring the topic up himself, but he’ll subtly guide them to the topic. He likes to come up with scenarios, and his s/o will indulge because it’s not often they get to see him with such a hopeful look in his eyes.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

If his s/o’s goals are realistic in his perspective, then he will do whatever he can to help them achieve it. However, if he deems their goal too unrealistic for them or thinks they aren’t suited to it, then he will straight up tell them. He’s not going to humor something he doesn’t believe will turn out well. If they continue to strive for whatever it is, he will watch and comment, but he won’t stop them.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Floch wants a mundane romance. He wants someone to come home to. He wants to cook breakfast together. He wants to know that they’ll be reading at the park at noon. He wants there to be a structure that lets him know what to expect. Part of it due to the uncertainty of life in general, but part of this also stems from his desire to be in control.

That’s not to say that Floch isn’t adventurous or spontaneous. He just likes to know what to expect.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Floch likes to think he knows his s/o more than they know themselves. He’s in tune with their mannerisms and various quirks. He can tell when they’re upset and how to guide them into being more energetic. He likes to use his way with words to keep them as happy and fulfilled as he can.

Floch isn’t empathetic, though. He’s quick to disagree on topics and it’s hard for him to understand why his s/o may be reacting the way they do. He doesn’t mean to upset them, he just can’t fathom viewpoints and opinions that might differ from his. He’s also emotionally guarded and pragmatic, so he will respond to most situations as such.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

As dedicated to the cause he is, Floch would put it in front of his relationship. He loves his s/o, but the eradication of evil in the world holds just a bit higher to him. His reasoning is that the bigger picture is what matters, and the two will be much happier once the world is peaceful. Whatever that means..

His s/o is just a notch less important than the mission he’s convinced himself is top priority, but he never speaks about it. There’s a silent understanding that he’ll do what he must.

Maybe in another life, he wouldn’t have to choose.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Floch is the grumpiest after waking up and will get irritated if people try to talk to him. He refuses to get mad at his s/o first thing in the morning. If they want to tease him, they’ll start asking him questions about a paper they read or an interesting rumor they heard. He literally cannot process that for shit and gets increasingly irritated, but he’ll just sleepily nod and twitchily smile at his s/o.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Floch absolutely loves physical touch. He won’t be all up on his s/o in public, but he’s damn near close. Behind closed doors, he’ll pull them into his lap just to kiss them. Whenever he’s bored, he’ll bury his face in their hair. Sometimes walks up to his s/o just to admire them before hugging them. He’s genuinely sweet when he’s like this. Catch him in a sleepy mood, and it’s even softer.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He doesn’t. He’s irritable and masks it by claiming someone fucked up and he’s gotta clean up a mess.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Part of the reason he’s working with the Jaegerists is to secure a better future for him and his s/o (again, whatever the hell that means). He’s willing to 100% kill for his s/o. Post time skip Floch won’t even bat an eye. It’s safe to say he’d do a grand amount of evil deeds just to keep his s/o happy.

~~~

Based off @snk-warriors fluff alphabet prompt

#floch forster #floch forster x reader #fluff alphabet #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin imagines #attack on titan headcanons #shingeki no kyojin headcanons #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan x reader

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wehatejulietsimms · 3 years

Note

This is an Andy appreciation post. I’m re-listening to Vale because I never understood.

It has much religious imagery but it’s *more* than just metaphors and analogies.

There’s four views I’ve understood finally and maybe more.

I will not mention anything of the specifics BVB is fighting against in Vale because like I said, this is an appreciation post and I don’t want to bring up anything negative if I don’t have to make it a point. If anyone wants me to go further into detail about what specifically I feel is going on, just ask because my gut has a keen reception on lyrics and events.

1. Religious persecution:

To the unawakened folks or the ones that progressively sin in the name of God.

Fighting for equality that when people fuck up, it isn’t the death of them. Just the death of an ego and awakening into more self compassion.

2. Talking to the fans that are blind to reality

In many songs off Vale, Andy always talks about preaching but never fully being heard from the blind and innocent. He’s tired but he will keep fighting, because he wants to make an active change to the community in a way he can but feels weak from time to time, yet never giving up!

3. Ashley

When Ashley was outed publicly, Andy never dedicated this song to him but posted the lyrics with no caption when Ashley was accused. Throw the first stone.

4. Letter to self: acknowledging this is an end of a cycle. Hint: the album name and song lyrics.

Our Destiny is a big one. It’s not just a rock love song about trying to save a destiny between two people. It’s saving himself from his past “sins” “fuckups” and saying it’s not too late to heal, which it’s never too hate to heal from the past and present. I feel like it’s “hey, I’m going into ashes now but I’ve already made amends with it and I’ll rise again and again, however many times to make it out of mental and physical surroundings.” Also, I feel it was referencing Lost it All in a way, like most of his songs do, it’s a personal and universal message that there’s so much shit in life that will knock you down and you will heal while STILL in a hurt place physically. I really want to appreciate that truth that there’s a lot of healing that still is in the midst of pain. (Props to you, Andy!) Many abusive childhoods can resonate with that as well as being stuck in relationships/friendships/or generational curses including being in debt. (Which he mentions a lot in interviews) I really do think he’s gonna get out because he’s such a wise soul and nobody gives him props to healing, and being such a mature wise man even though he’s not at his highest or best surroundings. I mean, I don’t know any other artist that’s stuck in a shitty situation and is still uplifting, real, and promotes healing and is why so many BVB army members resonate with the music. I really respect he says that people heal themselves but use his music as a resonating device to heal, when fans say he’s their hero.

Andy has overcome addictions, has had to protect his life many times, has written so much uplifting and real wisdom from a dark place of mind or just straight up otherworldly strength and vulnerability which I admire because it’s beautiful and real, doesn’t have many real helpful people around him, has been a real role model by himself, is overcoming shame and lies & generation healing, he’s really had to rely on himself and I’m glad his band members really allow him to take control of the lyrics in such an inspiring way. Even though he’s still dealing and people pleasing to toxic people, remember everyone, people in abusive relationships and are trapped have to people please in order to stay alive and not get harmed. Many don’t understand that if they’ve never been abused. (They don’t need to understand, Andy! We see it) His perseverance is real and don’t judge someone for figuring out their own life. Sometimes freedom comes from music (even though other aspects from the rock industry contradict it). Let’s be supportive of him right now because he’s branching off into a new territory and finding out what’s working for him SAFELY. Yes, I don’t agree with a lot of what he says in his insecure moments in interviews and lies in his book/irl (gotta remember that’s a trauma brain response), but his music speaks in a way that is truth and can help many people going through many things and express it in a healthy way. Also I believe many fans live in denial about his life due to the fact that they’re probably living through it in their own life and can’t recognize it in another person. Or are attracted to his light but want nothing to do to help keep it alive as in tearing him down (secret haters). Anyways, I respect him for going above and beyond and it’s really admirable because like I said, nobody in the industry has ever done what he’s done. His art is perseverance.

5. He’s been a role model for so many hurting depressed people because they resonate to his own story and his strength is a catalyst for their own strength. I dislike when people deny he’s been living in trauma and overcoming many times in his life because that’s literally what this band was formed into. There’s so much evidence in his life and in the music. He’s had to take on a role for his (hurt & healing) self and it naturally became a safe space for BVB army to interact and resonate with him. He had to do that at 18/19 and if anyone’s that age or older, you know that age is just a child. I applaud him for being that young while having no parental guidance while creating something beautiful and divine, though I do empathize for his inner child. His albums are art that are darker, not evil, and is a place where children/adults who were rejected in any form can find solace in their own mind and thus can create healing. His words are moving and you have to applaud the man for keeping it together when people of all directions were hating on his every move and it was because he has such a big heart and everyone around him wants to keep him caged out of selfishness. Even when he had meltdowns and (not saying he couldn’t also be toxic because everyone has the capacity but meltdowns get overlooked because it’s a spur of the moment thing and everyone thinks it’s a violent episode but it’s due to triggers as well as not being sober) still wanted to show up for everyone including his own self that he knows himself to be, that he didn’t want to let rot. He’s really a strong soul and it gets overlooked a lot. He’s striving for betterment of himself for more than a decade (with so much persecution even in his own circle) and people keep wishing that “I hope he gets out” and this is how he’s helping himself for the moment until he can actually get out. So again, props to him. We’re proud of you, Andy! Keep going! We believe in you. Keep taking care of your overall being. Thanks for believing in us all of these years. Some of us even made it out of the hurt place we were in and are living happy, peaceful, healthy lives after trauma.

^^i literally almost teared up reading this. this is exactly why i love him so much (& what made me fall in love with him/BVB in the first place) you said everything perfectly. i honestly wish i could pin posts on here bc i really want this to be the first thing people read on the blog. as much as people think this blog is supposed to be outright hateful, (although it contradicts the name of the blog lol) i can assure you it's not. as fans we want the best for our favorite artists and when an artist has helped/continued to help you and so many other people out of dark places it sucks to see that through that they can't help themselves. i just want the best for him and for him to be 100% happy again. that's the purpose of this blog.

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yenah-on-top · 2 years

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Updated my pinned post again so I figured I might as well do a song thing cuz. It's right there that I want to do it. I'm gonna do my favorite song of my favorite kpop idols

My #1 listen this year was 0x1=love song by TXT, I figured as much, if you haven't heard it I'm surprised you're here, but listen!!!! It's very good!!!!

BTS didnt come out with much this year sadly, but of 2021, my apple music replay says I liked permission to dance more, idc what everyone says, I stand by it. I love it a lot. It came out right after I had finished my sign language class last semester and I was So Happy to see them doing the sign for dance in their choreo. It makes me so happy.

Stray kids is hard, I really liked the no easy album, my favorite was mixtape: oh, but red lights was also fantastic. And then they dropped winter falls and Christmas Evel and well. I have many favorites this year, I liked all their songs this year.

Seventeen, I'll be honest I haven't listened to much but rock with you is one of the best songs I've ever listened to. I love it so much I can't recommend it more. It just itches my brain right.

Red velvet is another one I'm not even at the point of really trying to Stan yet, but bad boy, especially the English version, is great. It's not from this year, but I don't listen to them enough to have a recent from them

Oh my girl!!!! Y'know I thought dolphin or secret garden would be in my list, because I was sleeping on. All their other songs for so long, but dun dun dance is just. So good. I love it so much it just makes me happy even when I'm super sad, I love it a lot. Big recommend!!!

Dreamcatcher Dami grabbed me by the throat the first time I saw her and I only loved her more when I actually heard her voice (my first exposure to them was their lucky strike cover) and black and white is simply chefs kiss. I love it so so much!!!!! I don't know what it is about it but it's just amazing

Day6!!!!!! I love zombie an unhealthy amount. It was one of the first songs my friends showed me when they decided I needed to expand my kpop groups. It is so pretty and it's a mood and I just really really love it.

Another group I'm not really trying to Stan, weeekly!!! After school just makes joy happen, again I don't know what it is, it has to be laced with something.

Mamamoo, oh my goooood I love them. Especially hwasa, my queen. My favorite so far of their songs is probably where are we now? Its very different from what I usually listen to and I love it!!!!

Stayc is iconic, stereotype, stereotype is just perfect, chefs kiss, immaculate, I love it

Ok last for now, twice, scientist. I love it a lot. I am a super science nerd and the aesthetic was gorgeous and it was an adorable song and jeongyeon was just. So pretty. So pretty. I love her.

Ok I might do more later, and update things, cuz these are still from me as a new fan (except my top three). This became really just my favorite of the groups lol, BTS TXT and SKZ were just of this year bc I can't choose just one favorite at this point cjchdhndbd

#fe forte #fe recs

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slytherinbarnes · 4 years

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Sub Rosa [18]

v. human trials

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Violence, mass murder, fighting, language, blood, death. A slightly spicy moment.

Summary: Finn goes off the rails, and you arrive just in time to witness the aftermath.

a/n: one day late on posting this, bc yesterday was just....not the day for me, so apologies! it’s starting to get crazy for our friends in the 100, so I hope y’all are ready! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

You stoke the fire, and the flames rise a little higher, sharing their warmth. You lean back against the fallen tree behind you, turning towards the cave when you hear someone leave, smiling when your gaze falls on Bellamy. He smiles back and settles down beside you. “They’re both asleep.”

You hum in response. “Where’s Octavia?”

“Keeping watch.” He’s silent for a minute, before he reaches over and grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You look down and smile, before turning your gaze to search his face. “I really am sorry about earlier and not agreeing with you at first about Mel.”

“I think you made up for it when you lowered yourself over the side of a mountain.”

His fingers trace patterns over the back of your hand, and you close your eyes and drink in the feeling of his skin touching yours. You feel electrified, every nerve awake from his body being so close to yours. He shifts beside you and you open your eyes to find him turned towards you, facing you fully. His eyes rove over your face, mapping it, and you do the same with him, cataloging each cut and bruise from the last few days that mars his skin.

He reaches up and brushes a bruise that darkens your cheekbone, fingers tracing over it lightly. You lean into his touch, and he whispers, “You’re so beautiful.”

You smile, melting from his words, melting beneath his gaze, and he leans forward, closing the space between you. You allow him to press his lips to yours, and his kisses are soft at first, so soft that you wonder if you’re imagining the whole thing. But when you peek one eye open and see his face close to yours, you know you aren’t dreaming.

After a while, his kisses grow hungry, his lips pressing harder against yours. You open your mouth to catch your breath, and he uses the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth. As soon as your tongues meet, a fire starts to grow within you, and your hands start to roam up to his hair, where you give a light tug, causing him to moan into your mouth. You swallow it greedily as his hands drop from your face, skating down your neck, over your back and chest, before settling on your waist. He tugs you towards him, lifting you slightly until you are sitting in his lap, straddling him, one leg on either side of him.

His lips shift from your mouth, over your chin and down to your neck, where he latches onto the sensitive spot there. A breathy moan slips past your lips, which only seems to encourage him harder as he nips and laves over the spot. You almost let out another moan when you hear a throat clearing behind you. You and Bellamy fly apart, and you jump from his lap and stand, both of you looking embarrassed about being caught. Octavia smirks at you both and Bellamy pulls himself to his feet, stammering, “Uh, I’ll go stand watch. You two get some rest.” And he practically scurries off, leaving you and Octavia alone. She walks towards you and you hope the dark of the night hides your blush as she settles down against the log, patting the spot beside her. You lower yourself down, avoiding eye contact. “So.”

“So.”

“You and my brother.”

It’s not a question, but you answer like it is. “Yes.”

“Hm.” She doesn’t say anything else, just gazes in the direction Bellamy left in.

“It’s still new.”

She reaches out and grabs your hand. “He deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy. And I think you're good for him, so I approve.”

You’re more pleased than you thought you’d be to hear the words, and you let out a quiet laugh. “Well, I’m glad we have your approval.”

You’re both quiet for a minute, before she tugs on your hand, and you turn towards her. “Is that why you didn’t go with Finn to find Clarke?”

“Yes and no.” She looks confused, so you add, “Honestly, I'm a little scared of Finn right now. He went a little...off the rails once we lost Clarke and the others.”

You pull your hand free from hers and push your sleeve up your arm, revealing the bruises. Octavia gasps, “Finn did that?”

“Not on purpose. But yes.” You take in a deep breath, and let it out as a sigh. “I just didn’t want to be alone with him, even if it meant finding Clarke. I’d rather be a few days late to the party and have other people with me, just in case.”

She nods in understanding, and you stifle a yawn. She laughs and motions towards the cave. “You should probably get some rest, we have a long walk ahead of us tomorrow.”

“You’re probably right.” You stand, stretching out your limbs, before you start to step away. You pause and turn towards your dark haired friend, giving her a smile. “I’m glad you’re back, Octavia.”

“Yeah, me too.”

And then you both wave goodnight before you head into the cave and settle in beside Mel and Monroe, letting sleep take you.

Much of the walk back to Camp Jaha consists of catching up with Octavia, and hearing all about the things she’s seen since you last saw each other at the battle at the dropship. She tells you about Lincoln and Nyko, fighting the Reapers, and the few bits of Grounder culture that Lincoln had taught her before she lost him. You take it all in with excitement, despite the sadness you have about Octavia losing Lincoln.

It’s near midday when the terrain starts to look familiar, and the sounds of camp reach your ears. Everyone lowers their weapons and puts them away, not wanting to be seen as a threat as you burst through the treeline and out into the open, following the path to the front gates. Up ahead, you can hear Guards jumping into action, training their guns on you. You send up a silent prayer that Shumway isn’t among them. As the gate opens, the guards start to yell, “Weapons. We need your weapons!”

Bellamy and Mel pass through first, and he gives up his pistol. You and Monroe hand over the rifles, but Octavia keeps the sword strapped to her back. They don’t press her for it. Your mom jogs up to the group, ignoring you all and focusing on the injured girls. She reaches Mel first, reaching up to brush the hair from her face. “I know you. Factory station. Where are the others?”

Mel whispers back, “There are no others.”

Bellamy drops his arm from around her, and turns to your mom. “Found her a day from here. No survivors. Lots of supplies.”

“Get her to medical.”

You and Octavia step forward with Monroe, and your mom reaches out for her, taking her hand. You see a pin on her jacket glinting in the sun, but you don’t get a chance to ask her about it, because she’s already turned and heading back to medical, thinking only of the injured. You look at Bellamy, about to say something, when you hear the sound of feet thundering towards you. You turn just in time for someone to collide with you, and your mouth stretches into a grin when your eyes catch on a head of golden hair. She whispers your name, and you feel tears prick your eyes. “Clarke.”

She pulls away to look at you, and you feel your expression harden when you see the cuts and bruises all over her face, but she gives you a watery smile, making you forget. “I thought you were dead.”

You shake your head and pull her in for another hug, shocked that she’s here, shocked that she’s alive. She pulls away and gives Bellamy and Octavia equally strong hugs, all of you happy to be alive and reunited. As you watch the reunion, Raven steps up beside Clarke, crutch under her arm and brace secured over her leg. You feel a pang of sorrow in your chest and you reach forward to hug her, happy that she made it through the surgery. When you pull back, Bellamy is turning towards Clarke. “How many are with you?”

“None.” Your face falls, and you see Bellamy and Octavia’s do the same. Clarke looks behind you, and then around you, before her eyes meet yours, searching. “Where’s Finn?”

You shake your head, thinking of Finn, unhinged, looking for your twin. “Looking for you.”

Her face falls, and she thinks a moment before reaching out to grab your hand. “Mom is the Chancellor.”

“What?”

She nods at the others, “C’mon, we need to tell her everything. We have to get to Finn and we have to get back to Mount Weather.”

Four heads whip towards her at the same time, shocked. “Mount Weather?”

“I’ll explain everything, let’s go.”

She pulls you towards the Medical tent, already talking of Mount Weather and escape plans.

An hour later, you, Bellamy, and Clarke stand outside of the council’s meeting room, waiting, pacing. Clarke told them everything, about Mount Weather, and the harvesting chambers, and the Grounders. And you and Bellamy filled them in on everything you had seen and witnessed, leaving out the parts about Finn losing his mind. Because they don’t need to know right now. Because we protect our own.

Finally, when it seems like a lifetime has passed, the council exits their meeting, and you and Clarke approach your mother, expectant. Bellamy lingers behind you, still pacing. “Well?”

She turns to Clarke with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but they’re on their own.”

Clarke shakes her head and you make a sound of protest. “What? No. You can't just cut them loose!”

She adopts the Mother Tone. “Sweetheart, we don't have the manpower to send out two separate rescue missions and protect our camp.”

“They're in trouble,” you cut in, forcing your mom to look at you. “They’re either gonna get themselves killed or they're gonna make things worse with the Grounders.”

“Who we need to get our people out of Mount Weather,” Clarke adds.

She looks between you both, “I know you both feel this is unfair. But our priority has to be with Chancellor Kane if there is any hope for peace.”

“If you wanted peace, you shouldn't have killed the only Grounder who was gonna help us.” Your twin’s voice is hard, and she glances over at Major Byrne, who is standing nearby listening.

“I’m sorry. The decision's been made.”

Bellamy stops pacing, and steps forward to join the conversation, jaw clenching with anger. “You’re sorry? Finn and Murphy are out there looking for Clarke with guns you gave us, and now she's home, you're just going to abandon them? If you can't spare the guards, we know the terrain, we have a map. We can do it ourselves.”

You and Clarke start nodding, agreeing with him, but she immediately shoots him down. “Absolutely not.”

“Mom-”

She cuts Clarke off, voice hitching with emotion. “I just got you both back!”

And before either of you can argue, Jackson comes running down the hall, stopping beside your mom, looking sheepish. “Abby. I’m sorry, we need you in medical.”

You glare at her and step back. “You better go.”

She appraises you, and then Clarke, picking up on both of your anger and frustration, and as her gaze bounces between the pair of you, she yells, “Byrne? No one leaves this camp.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

She gives you one last hard look before brushing past, and you grab Clarke’s hand and pull her over to Bellamy, the three of you standing close. You look at each of them, and set your jaw. “We’re leaving this camp.”

They both nod, and Clarke adds, “And we’re gonna need guns.” She steps away, “I’ll go find Raven and Octavia.”

“We’ll go get supplies. Meet at the back of the camp, behind the prison.”

And then you break apart, leaving Clarke to head towards the engineering station, while you and Bellamy search for packs and food.

Less than an hour later, you and Bellamy are standing behind the prison, waiting, when Raven walks up and sets down a large duffel bag. “I scored you a couple extra clips.”

Bellamy reaches in the bag and starts pulling out weapons when Clarke jogs up to join you. “Hey. Our mom's in surgery and the team going after Kane just left. We should, too.”

Bellamy hands you a gun while he looks at your twin. “Did you find Octavia?”

“No. I found you.” You all turn at the sound of her voice, watching as she jogs closer to you. She comes to a stop beside her brother. “I’m not letting you leave here without me.”

Behind you, Clarke starts, “Octavia-”

“Finn and Murphy are headed for Lincoln's village. I’ve been there. Have you?” She turns and looks at Clarke. “Has she?”

Bellamy tips his head to the side, a smirk on his face. “You done?”

You bend down and pick up the backpack at your feet, passing it to him so he can offer it to her. She eyes it with suspicion. “What’s this?”

“Your pack.” She smirks at him and takes it, and he holds out his arm in front of him. “Lead the way.”

She steps towards the fence, and you start to follow, but Raven holds out her crutch, blocking her path. “Whoa. Not so fast, Pocahontas.”

She touches her crutch to the fence and it sparks with electricity. You turn to Bellamy, your brows lifted, and mutter, “That’s new.”

“I thought you said it was handled.”

Raven turns to Clarke. “It is.” She pulls a radio from her pocket and lifts it. “Shut her down, Wick.”

She waits a minute and then tests the fence again, and this time, there is no reaction. She smirks, “Handled.”

Octavia tosses her pack through the fence and ducks through, and you all follow, immediately heading toward the trees, using them for cover. You run through the woods for a few miles, before slowing to a walk. The sky grows darker earlier than usual, and a rumble of thunder tells you why.

You smile when the first drop touches your skin, still just as in love with the rain as the first time you saw it, months ago, when Bellamy was still a jerk and Wells was alive. You wish he could be here to see everything now. Because despite not knowing him well, you know he was a good man. He protected you and Clarke from the truth about your mother, and your father’s death. Too bad he didn’t realize it was your fault all along. Because I’m cursed.

Bellamy pulls you from your thoughts when he reaches out to grab your hand, lacing your fingers together. “What are you thinking about?”

You shake your head, dislodging the bad memories, only focusing on the good as you smile at him. “The first thunderstorm.” You see his smile lift and you ask, “Do you remember it? After your talk with Wells?”

You see his face fall a little at the name and his smile grows sad, but he nods. “I wish he was here to see this.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

You both keep walking in silence, following behind Octavia and Clarke, watching the way the rain falls through the thick canopy of trees and soaks the ground below. After a while, the rain lets up, and the sky grows darker, this time with the setting sun. You shiver a little as night falls and the air grows cooler. Bellamy drops your hand to shrug off his jacket and drape it over your shoulders, and you push your arms through the sleeves, smiling in appreciation. He looks around before turning to you. “I think we should stop for the night, get some rest.”

You smirk, “Whatever the hell you want.”

He laughs, surprised, before calling ahead to the others and relaying the message. They both agree, and soon you have a makeshift camp, complete with a fire. After everyone has eaten, Octavia is the first to lay down, already fast asleep before her head hits her makeshift pillow. You see Bellamy’s lids drop, and you fight back a smile. “I’ll keep watch.”

“No, I’m-”

You cut him off, “Bellamy, seriously. I’ve got it.”

“Wake me up in a few hours, and I’ll take over.”

“I will.”

He lays down beside a log, facing the fire, and you watch him drift off to sleep. Clarke leans against you, watching the fire. You sit in silence for a long while, enjoying each other's presence when you suddenly remember. “Oh.”

You pull up your sleeve, revealing the watch, and take it off your wrist, before reaching out to grab Clarke’s arm. She lets you take it and reattach the watch, now with its rightful owner and situated beside her bracelet. Your brows lift when you see it. “Mom gave it back to you?”

“Yeah, right after she stitched me up. They took her necklace too, because when I woke up, it was gone.”

“We didn’t see it with the bracelet or the watch.”

She nods, before she suddenly sits up and turns to you. “Earlier, when you were telling Mom about Finn and the Grounder you kidnapped, I felt like you were leaving something out.”

“I was.” She looks at you, expectant, and you let out a sigh. “He killed the Grounder. We were all arguing about what to do with him, when Finn just picked up his gun and executed him like it was nothing. Then he walked away, acting like he hadn’t just killed a man in cold blood.”

“That doesn’t sound like Finn.”

“It doesn’t. But losing you, and the others, the war… It changed him, Clarke. He’s not the same peacekeeping Spacewalker that we met on that first day.”

She turns away from you, glancing over the fire and out into the woods around you. “We’ve all changed.”

You shake your head, “Not like this.”

She says nothing, thinking it over and you both resume your earlier silence before she eventually lays down beside you. “I’m gonna get some sleep.”

“Goodnight stars.”

“Goodnight moon.”

Her eyes slide closed and you stay on watch for a couple of hours, scanning the woods around the camp for any signs of danger. You start to consider waking Bellamy soon, from boredom or lack of attention, you don’t know, but as usual, he beats you to the punch, and is already awake when you swing your gaze towards him. He lifts his gun and stands, motioning for you to take his place. You nod in thanks and lay down, shifting his pack around a few times until you get comfortable, before sleep takes you quickly.

Your eyes slide open slowly, greeted by a fire, brain working to remember where you are. It comes back to you in a flood, and you shift your gaze up, locking eyes with Bellamy across the blaze. His eyes drop away, and you swear you see a tinge of pink across his cheeks when you sit up, stretching your limbs out and to the sky, shaking the sleep from them. You couldn’t have gotten more than a few hours of sleep, but it feels like enough, your body finally learning to adapt and work with less.

You stand and walk over to Bellamy’s log, dropping down beside him, before leaning back to look at the stars. His gaze follows yours, and he’s quiet for a minute, before he lets out a short hum. “Hm.”

You turn to look at him. “What?”

“Do you remember when you told me the story about Orion? How he was killed by his lover Artemis because her twin challenged her, and then she put him in the stars because she felt so bad about it?”

“Yes.”

He turns to you, fighting back a smile. “You weren’t trying to warn me or something, were you?”

You let out a quiet laugh, surprised, before hitting him lightly on the arm. “No!”

He laughs too, and you marvel at the pretty sound, something he rarely lets out into the world. You’re both looking at each other, his amusement still twinkling in his eyes, when Clarke shifts on the ground beside you. You both turn to her, and she meets your gaze, starting to wake up. Bellamy watches her for a minute, and then offers, “When we got back to the dropship and no one was there, we assumed it was the Grounders.”

“Of course, you did. You couldn't have known it was the Mountain Men. No one could have.”

He shakes his head, thinking of the 47, thoughts jumping to the worst. “How long until chocolate cake turns into being hung upside down and drained for their blood?”

“I don't know, but we don't have much time.”

You look between them. “First we find Finn, then our friends in Mount Weather.”

“And Lincoln.” Your gazes all shift to Octavia, now wide awake and sitting up. “I think we've slept long enough.”

She stands and grabs her things, already walking away, and you all follow suit. You kick dirt over the fire, making sure it’s put out before you follow the others through the woods, using only the moon for light.

The moon gives way to the sun, partially hidden behind clouds heavy with rain, and your group travels together mostly in silence. By the time the sun is high in the sky, it has broken free from the clouds, shining bright through the trees around you. Octavia starts to gradually speed up as the area becomes more and more familiar to her, and soon she breaks out into a run, leaving you all to catch up.

She comes to a stop at the bottom of a small hill, gaze locking on a large white statue in front of her. Bellamy checks the map and nods in confirmation, coming to a stop beside her. “This is it. Which way to the village?”

Octavia says nothing, her gaze never leaving the statue as tears start to well up in her eyes. She whispers, voice breaking, “The Reapers came from there. I couldn't save him, Bell. I couldn't save him.”

She starts to cry and he pulls her into a hug, comforting her, as you and Clarke watch on, hearts hurting for her. You know Clarke is thinking of Finn, and you’re both thinking of your father, and you step closer together, wrapping your arm around her and pulling her close.

You are all pulled apart when a burst of gunfire echoes through the trees nearby, and everyone takes off running, lifting their weapons as you do. Bellamy pulls ahead, but you are all right on his heels, fighting through the burn in your legs and ache in your lungs as more shots echo around the woods. You can hear screaming as you draw closer, and you feel fear tangle in your stomach and chest.

You see Bellamy pull to a stop ahead of you, now at the edge of the forest, and the shots pause, no longer punctuating the air. You, Clarke and Octavia stop beside him, and the fear in your stomach turns to horror as soon as you see the scene before you.

Finn stands on the other side of a fenced in pen, a group of Grounders trapped inside. All around the pen are bodies, some still moving, some dead, bleeding from a variety of gunshot wounds. Octavia runs forwards first, recognizing a few of the Grounders, and you, Clarke, and Bellamy follow at a much slower pace, shock dulling your senses and slowing you down.

Clarke comes to a stop in front of Finn, and his face pulls into a dazed smile. He steps towards Clarke, but she steps back, keeping the distance between them. “I found you.”

She shakes her head, in horror, disbelief, shock and turns away from him, lip quivering. You can no longer ignore the sound of crying around you and you drop down to the nearest body, searching for a sign of life. When your finger fails to find a pulse, you move to the next, relieved to see the rise and fall of the woman’s chest. You search her body for injuries, finding three gunshot wounds.

You pull your pack off your back, searching for medical supplies, when someone drops down on the other side of you. You look up and meet Murphy’s eyes, and he whispers, “Let me help.”

You nod, pull out antiseptic, tools, bandages, and direct him on how to pull out the bullets and bandage them properly, taking a page from Clarke’s book. Bellamy joins you when you move to the next body, and out of the corner of your eye, you see Octavia and Clarke doing the same, Murphy now at their sides assisting. Finn stands amongst the bodies, frozen, watching everyone move around him.

When you finish administering first aid, you look around, watching as the Grounders care for the dead, wrapping them in cloth and then securing it with pieces of rope. You and Bellamy exchange a look before you both walk over and help them, working silently with the Grounders, attempting to clean up the mess that Finn made.

When everyone is cared for, Octavia walks over to Nyko and talks to him briefly before joining your group again. “He says we should go, before the others return.”

You all heed the warning and leave the village, alternating between walking and running back to Camp Jaha, but never stopping until you reach the inside of the camp, secured behind a wall of guards and an electric fence.

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