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cowboybeepboop · 10 months

Text

The only one

“Kili, you can’t tell anyone about this.” “So it’s our dirty little secret then?”

Paring: Kili Durin x afab reader

Genre: romantic smut

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: You’re Bilbo's adopted human daughter and he takes you along on the journey. Kili has his heart set on you and after getting involved in the fight he gets angry with you for putting yourself in a dangerous situation.

Warnings: public sex, arguing, jealous Kili, hickeys, p in v sex, hickeys??? Idk what else I always forget

a/n: I did not proofread and its lowkey a summary of the first movie? This is my first smut regarding anyone in the tolkien universe but I did write some sad fluff at some point lmao. Anyways, please like and send any requests if you want <3 tags go absolutely wild

You’ve been an adopted hobbit for the last 18 years of your life, Bilbo was always comforted in the known so when he brought you along with him and the dwarfs on their journey you were beyond surprised. Your presence was unexpected for everyone, except Gandalf of course, and most of the company was against your involvement. The dwarves saw you as frail and weak, the only one on your side was your dad, but of course he was.

Kili has kept an eye out for you since you joined the company, he makes sure you're safe and also just enjoys looking at you.

__________

When Elrond and his fellow elves come back the dwarves pull you and your father behind them and create a circle around you. You stay behind your Bilbo as the elves talk with Gandalf.

Upon your entrance to their dining room you look around with wonder, you sit down between Kili and your dad. “They're so beautiful,” you whisper to Bilbo, he nods with a gentle but awkward smile. Kili’s ears twitch as he looks around, his eyes narrow on an elf who has his eyes on you, he moves closer to you wrapping his arm around you.

“You think so?” Kili questions, his jaw clenching slightly, “I think us dwarves are better looking, stronger too.” he says pridefully, you chuckle in response.

“Is it a competition now?” you cock your head, “You’re very good looking too, Kili.” he smiles wide.

“Is that so? I am the best looking of all of the company, aside from Thorin of course.” you laugh, putting your hand on his arm.

“A bit full of yourself huh?” he shoves your shoulder gently in response. Kilis arms finds its way around your waist as he continues to glare at the elf who dared to look at you, who did he even think he was.

Gandalf, Bilbo, and Thorin wander off with Lord Elrond, leaving you with the dwarfs. You watch quietly, laughing with them and listening to their conversations before you feel yourself drifting off to sleep. Kili quietly sits next to you letting your head fall to his shoulder he smiles, covering you up with a blanket.

__________

After the company left the palace Thorin led everyone to the Misty Mountains, Kili keeps you in front of him. He insists that it’s better that way so if you fall he can catch you. As the rain picks up your feet slip under you, Kili and Fili grasp your arms quickly, pulling you back onto the ledge.

“Thank you,” you say softly as your eyes look over the ledge. Kili keeps a hold of your arm tightly as you all try to avoid the stone giant's blasts. The ground splits under your feet as the mountain takes shape as a giant, you grab onto the stone behind you before everyone begins to slide forward.

The stone giant slams into the mountain, throwing everyone off of it and onto the ground. Thorin yells for his nephews as the rest of the company runs over, Kili helps you up dusting your clothes off and checking to make sure you weren’t hurt anywhere.

After all the commotion everyone settles into the cave, Bilbo pulls you off to the side and quietly talks to you, he tells you about his plan to leave once everyone is asleep. “Why dad? What's wrong?” you whisper to him.

“Thorin is right, we never should've left home, I’ve put you in danger and I can’t let anything else happen to you.” he sighs as he runs his hand through your hair, “It’s okay, we’ll be fine.” he smiles reassuringly.

You both gather all of your stuff and sneak out, he leads you by the hand. He pulls you behind him as he talks with Bofur, you stay quiet looking around the cave. You didn’t really want to leave the company, I mean they were becoming your friends, you enjoyed the company.

“Y/N?” Kili mumbles as he looks up at you, he yawns. “Where are you going?” You crouch down putting your hand on his shoulder.

“Go back to sleep Kili, you need your rest,” you smile sweetly.

The floor splits and you slip down with everyone, Bilbo gets away but you are guided off with the dwarves. Your eyes fill with terror as you look around, you take a hold of Kilis hand squeezing tight as the goblins push you all around. You cower behind him, holding onto his shirt tightly.

Once you get out the dwarves all argue over where your dad went, your head drops as you think that your dad couldn't possibly have left you all alone. He reappears and you rush over to hug him, his hands drop to your waist as he smiles.

“Y/N!” Kili and Bilbo yell at you as you try to defend the dwarves with your small blade; it goes into the center of the wargs head, and Kili grabs you and pulls you up to the tree with him. His hand wrapping around your waist as he holds you close.

“Don’t move,” Kili’s voice is angry as he demands you to stay put. His hands dig into your slides as you look below your feet. Kili’s hands slip away as they start to throw the pinecones, the tree begins to fall, you grasp onto the trunk as tight as you can. His hands wrap around the tree, his eyes focused on you.

As Thorin and your father begin to fight the orcs, your eyes squeeze shut tightly, you try to focus on anything but the attack of Thorin. Kili pulls you up and onto the ground, insisting you stay put as they go to fight. You look forward, clutching the blade you retrieved from the corpse tight. As all of the commotion ensues you feel yourself being picked up by an eagle.

Once you all are in a safe place you watch as Gandalf helps heal Thorin. You stand next to your dad, holding onto his arm, as Thorin goes in for a hug you let go of him and move back. Your eyes wander to Kili who turns his head in order to avoid eye contact with you.

As the company moves forward you come across an area close to a river, Gandalf suggests that you all take a break and bathe. You and Kili were the last to go, you were paired up at the recommendation of Fili.

Kili guides you to the river, holding his weapon close to his chest, he’s been giving you the silent treatment after you got in between a fight. “You can bathe here, I’ll keep watch.” his voice stern.

“Kili..” your voice trails off as you look at his back, trying to pull his attention to you.

“Y/N, just take your bath. It’s getting dark.” Kili’s tone is extremely cold. You pout your lips as you begin pulling your clothing off slowly, once you finish you slip into the cold water.

“You can turn back now,” you say softly before you dip all the way under the water, holding your breath and squeezing your eyes shut. After a while you break the surface of the water sliding your hands over your face pulling the water back with your hair. Kili had turned around keeping his eyes on everything but you.

“Kili,” you wave him over, “come here, please.” you bite your lip as he gives you a bored expression.

“What is it?” he walks close to the bank of the river, his eyes scanning your face.

“Shouldn’t you join me? You're supposed to bathe as well,” he sighs, turning his back to you again.

“Fine, turn away.” he sets down his sword and strips quickly. You face the other way as he slips into the water with you.

“Kili, what is your problem?” you huff, spinning around with your arms crossed over your breasts.

“What do you mean?” his eyes are half closed as he looks at you with a slightly annoyed expression.

You move closer to him, “I mean, you’re acting so rude for no reason. You won’t look at me, you barely talk to me, you’re being so dumb” you glare at him, “So what is your problem?” he rolls his eyes at you.

“I don’t know maybe the fact that you threw yourself into harm's way? You could’ve gotten yourself killed,” he yells at you while running his hand through his hair.

“Calm down Kili,” you move close to him, putting your hand on his arm. “I didn’t expect you to get all worked up like this, I know I should have been more careful but I just wanted to help.” your eyebrows furrow as you look down.

His warm hands grasp your upper arms “You really worried me Y/N,” he presses his forehead against yours.

“You worried about me?” a sly smile paints itself on your lips, “does that mean you like me Kili?” your voice is soft and teasing. His ears turn a deep shade of crimson as he turns his head up.

“Y/N cut that out,” he puts his hand on the side of your neck, his eyes flick to your lips.

“Cut what out?” you wrap your arms around his neck pulling yourself close to him.

“You know what,” he clenches his jaw, your hands running down his back as you wrap your legs around his hips.

Kili pulls your face to his, hovering his lips over yours “Quit teasing me,” he whispers. Your hand snakes up to the back of his head, cradling it as you push your lips against his. His hands move to your waist, his fingers dig into your soft flesh as he hugs you tighter against him.

“Mahal,” he pulls away, pressing soft kisses down your face and onto your neck. You lean back letting his lips trail over your body, your nails scratch his scalp softly as you arch into him.

“Amrâlimê,” he whispers against your collarbone, “you’re driving me insane,” Kili groans. He grasps your face pulling you in for an intimate kiss, he’s getting more intense with his affections, his hands squeezing your hips roughly.

Your hand trails down his chest tracing every muscle on his stomach, he begins grinding against you while holding your hips against him. Pulling away from the kiss you gasp for air, leaning your head against his shoulder, you wrap your hands in his hair pulling it off to the side. Kissing his neck roughly you begin to leave soft marks on his flesh as he massages your ass.

“Y/N..” he mumbles into your ear, you moan softly as he picks you up, moving into shallow water. “Can we..?” his ears flush as he looks away, “I mean, would you mind?” you chuckle softly.

“Mhm,” you move your hips against his thigh, feeling him twitch underneath you. “But we’ll have to be quick..” you kiss his shoulder as his hands pull your hips up, he lines himself up with your hole, pushing the tip in.

“Let me know if it hurts,” he says gently, his hand finding its way to your neck grabbing ahold of it pulling your head back as you moan softly. He bucks his hips up into you, leaning forward you bury your face into his nape hugging him tight as you moan into his skin.

“My precious girl,” he groans as he slowly begins moving your hips up and down, his fingers digging into your soft skin, leaving red marks. You moan into his ear as you begin riding him, your arms wrap tight around his neck, eyebrows furrowing as you squeeze around his dick.

Kili cradles your head against him, holding you as close as he can, thrusting up into you pushing as deep as he can. Your head falls onto his shoulder, he moves a hand down to your sensitive clit, rubbing circles into it.

“I’m so close,” you moan, Kili nods in response.

“Me too,” he groans, his hands exploring every part of your body as he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

“Hey, Y/N, Kili, hurry it up.” Fili yells to you, causing the both of you to jolt up. Kili pushes himself into you as deep as he can. You bite your lip as you cum around him, your hole pulsing.

Your back arches, silent gasps leaving your open mouth as you ride out your high. Your whole body seems to tense up causing Kili to groan while he cums deep inside you. He pulls you off of him giving you a sweet kiss.

“Now we really need to clean up, and fast.” He says lowly, his hands creep up from behind you gasping your sides as he pulls you into deeper water to rinse off. You sigh contently as he holds your body close to his.

After quickly cleaning yourselves up; you both get out, drying off before putting your clothes back on.

“Kili, you can’t tell anyone about this.” you bite your lip as you turn to him, his eyebrows furrow. “Bilbo might actually get so mad he tries to kill you,” you giggle softly as his face relaxes.

“So it’s our dirty little secret then?” coming close to you he wraps his arms around your neck giving you a deep kiss. “But we will get to tell everyone later, right?” he pulls back, eyes scanning yours.

“Yes, Kili,” you kiss the tip of his nose, hands resting on his shoulders, “but let's wait it out for a bit, okay?” he smiles in response.

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cxcewg · 9 months

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here with you

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!model!reader type: social media au author’s note: first time writing a social media au, hope you enjoy! lots of high school musical references in this haha but this was sm fun to make (took some time since it was my first time) and i did spend some time raging at tumblr before realizing id messed up i was gonna release this on tuesday, but because of charles's pole and then p3 i just had to get this out early so 😘 warnings: none! masterlist

liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, and 88,855 others

yourusername good times

tagged francisca.cgomes, pierregasly

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verstoppn1 liked by pierregasly?!

verstoppn1 oh he’s tagged im stupid

francisca.cgomes sm fun 😂

yourusername haha a bit too much francisca.cgomes pierre was not happy pierregasly my head still hurts 😔

indy019 wasn’t charles there?

yourusername he couldn’t make it sadly 😭 indy019 OMGG IM SCREAMING ILYSM

charles_leclerc wish i could have been there

yourusername ❤️ charlos4life omg the red heart? sharl.lecf1 i lowkey ship im ngl charlos4life ok chill its just 1 red heart

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 125,307 others

pierregasly 🌃

tagged yourusername, francisca.cgomes

view all 3,917 comments

yukitsunoda0511 where was my invite?!

pierregasly you told us you were busy yukitsunoda0511 oh right i forgot

yourusername same time next week?

francisca.cgomes yesss

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerusssel63, and 225,206 others

yourusername take 2 (ft. charles)

tagged francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, pierre_gasly

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carmenmmundt ill bring george next time

yourusername yes carms!!

lilymhe so sad i couldnt make it 😭ill see you at silverstone though!

yourusername gl at shoprite ❤️ lilymhe 😘 f1vibes she’s going to silverstone?

cnlarlslec wait they’re so cute together

gaslypxiere fr, kika and pierre are a match made in heaven cnlarlslec i was talking about charles and yn but yk that works too

lannorrizz id give my liver to be a part of this friend group

mclaren.fan01 double date?!

nightsanna yn and charles arent dating tho? mclaren.fan01 shut up and let me be delusional ty

ynfan.1 you have to admit theyd be one bombass couple

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yourusername silverstone you were amazing

tagged francisca.cgomes, pierregasly, alpinef1team

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charles_leclerc come to ferrari next time?

yourusername get me a paddock pass and i will charles_leclerc already done lestappen4lifx OMG WHAT

alpinef1team happy to have you, come again sometime!

rosiesangel who is she?

f1luvr she’s a model who works at the same agency as kika and shes friends with the grid through pierre

hppycharles dang she should take up photography

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 211,923 others

yourusername spa i love you (p.s. congrats on pole charles)

tagged scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

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carlossainz55 it was amazing to meet you :) charles has told me so much

charles_leclerc CARLOS naatt03 DAMNNN LMAO OK CARLOS

scuderiaferrari we loved having you!

charles_leclerc ❤️

username THE RED HEART AGAIN IM DEAD

lecharles bro the second yn shows up charles gets a pole, does ok in the sprint too, AND THEN P3 IN THE ACTUAL RACE

lechairxx fr shes like his lucky charm or something yukisan he wants to impress her 😉 pierre_gasly yes he does lecharles PIERRE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

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lando.jpg he got some moves

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charles_leclerc i didnt even know that was being taken

lando.jpg thats because you were too busy flirting with yn essiebessie DAMN LANDO AIRING OUT CHARLES’ BUSINESS LIKE THAT bellie02 wait so is this confirmation? applebottomjeans lando you’re so screwed lmao

pierregasly gvmve mewqeo photo ofre chslr aasdk yn ksifn

yourusername someone take his phone away charles_leclerc on it pierregasly smtgnfrn yudont wnna say snarls? yourusername where is kika 😭 lechres1 pierre had way too much champagne lechres1 wait lechres1 THE ;JLSDKGJRELNJKTWL lechres1 YALLL DID REWENJ JSUT GET CONFRIMATION lechres1 HOLD UP IM POSTING THIS ON TWITTER

comment has been deleted

amhyy lando being charles’ biggest fan

gusgus208 yn and charles again?!

1vstarpen the f1 grid is suc a vibe tbh

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charles_leclerc Home GP video on my YouTube channel now 🇲🇨🤍 Link in bio

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lechres1 DID YALL SEE YN IN THAT BECAUSE ISTG IM NOT SEEING THINGS

lechres1 at 7:10 timestamp estie.bestie WAIT I THINK THATS HER

indy019 anyone else hear about yn in this and came straight here to check

amizesgrace ✋ sleepininspa ✋ paddockgirlie ✋

nlsonarp we love you charles!

isa.bel are you and yn dating?

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 712,127 others

yourusername ive never had someone as good for me as you ❤️

view all 11,993 comments

pierregasly 👀

verstoppn1 PIERRRE DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DONT KNOW

dannyric3 IS THIS CONFIRMATION

ln4444 THAT HAS TO BE CHARLES RIGHT

ashlili HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL QUOTE?!!

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes and 1,099,328 others

charles_leclerc I've never had someone that knows me like you do

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lechres1 OK THIS IS DEFINITELY YN

ynluvr1 SIMULTANEOUS SOFT LAUNCH

landohasrizz4 SKIP THE SOFT LAUNCH WE KNOW ITS YN

liked by charles_leclerc unliked by charles_leclerc landohasrizz4 ASDAFGHJKGFDSD HE LIEKD IT ITS YN

happyinlove ALSO HSM LYRICS

hungrif1fan im more surprised that charles has watched hsm happyinlove HE SURPRISES US EVERYDAY

sharl.lecf1 STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS IS IT YN

charlos4life wait yn didnt like is it actually not her?

lechres1 BOTH OF THEIR SOFT LANCHES ARE FROM WHAT IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR FROM HSM ITS DEFINITELY HER lechres1 if its not her i will break osmething tho

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,401,416 others

yourusername it feels so right to be here with you ❤️

tagged charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc I've never had someone that knows me like you do

charles_leclerc je t’aime i love you your_username mon amour my love

pierregasly AHAHAHH PAY UP LANDO

landonorris fine landonorris charles you really failed me supamaxvst1 i love that the grid is just as happy as we are your_username YOU GUYS BET ON US?! landonorris uhhh pierregasly yea we bet which of you would hard launch first charles_leclerc sorry lando

landonorris great now stop making out when im literally in the room

carlossainz55 yeah its disgusting yourusername you guys are literally in love dont even

sharl.lecf1 HAHA I KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING

charlos4life ok shut up sharl.lecf1 😌

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and 1,806,784 others

charles_leclerc you might be ready to say good bye to east high but ill never be ready to say good bye to you

tagged your_username

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yourusername the high school musical quote ❤️i’m so proud of you

charles_leclerc je t'aime tellement ma chérie i love you so much my dear

justpeachy SCREAMING I CANT HANDLE THIS 😭

charlos4life WHEN IS IT MY TURN

sharl.lecf1 IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM OMG

josieeeee why don’t you do this for me?

maximx_ because the last time i tried to do a cheesy instagram launch you broke up with me josieeeee yes but we got back together didn’t we? maximx_ someone save me please

liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, and 909,412 others

yourusername 800k likes and i’ll force charles to watch high school musical 2

view all 19,175 comments

yourusername god that was fast

yourusername kk we’re gonna watch it yourusername will update y'all l8r

charles_leclerc il n'y a rien que je ne ferais pas pour te faire sourire mon amour theres nothing i wouldnt do to make you smile my love

yourusername 🥺 landonorris whipped pierregasly whipped yukitsunoda0511 whipped carlossainz55 whipped charles_leclerc what does whipped mean?

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc fanfiction #charles leclerc imagine #f1 #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x you #formula one #pierre gasly #lando norris #charles leclerc fic rec

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fandxmslxt69 · 1 month

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CLEM'S BIRTHDAY HANG OUT!!

Hello friends!

As March comes to an end (my birth month wooo) I thought it would be a fun idea to have a little hang out during the last week! So from March 25 - 31 we are PARTYING !

Sort of!

My askbox is open to all sorts of silly dilly fun time! This is my first little hang out so PLEASE BE KIND TO ME i'm just a silly girl who wants to make friends and have some fun! I'm also hoping this might get me back into writing!

Yes, the poster is all Loki NO HE'S NOT THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION!! Here's a little info I guess (I am just winging this as we speak, it is not very thought out):

Rules & Info

The event will run from 03/25 to 03/31 - you can send in as many asks and hang out as much as you would like!!! No I will not kill you if you drop a hello in my askbox start of April - to be honest, I love friends so I won't ever turn anyone away

You can stop by my askbox to say hi, share some thoughts (or thots...) tell me anything, or play a game! (will talk about that in a bit)

Anyyyyoneeee is welcome I don't care if we aren't mutuals or we don't even talk, STOP BY AND SAY HI :D If you are rude or disrespectful in any way, I will kick your butt and break your nose.

This is a positive, fun zone. I just want to have my fun and mind my business, please don't be trying to cause problems. I'm a relatively small blog so thankfully no one really looks my way but I've had some bumps in the past.

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME DOING THIS AND IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE FROM NERVES SO BE PATIENT WITH ME OKAY

Games:

Fuck, marry, kill - send me any three characters that you want me to decide a fate for....oh my god please don't make me kill anyone I love dearly....

Blurbs!! - send me a little prompt/kink/thought & a character and I will try SOOOOO HARD to put out a little itty bitty something of writing! Like 500 words or so!! Can be fluffy or smutty. Angst is not allowed unless its just a LITTLE sad and with lots of fluffy stuff after

Character Association - tell me about yourself and let me give you a character. This is literally my favourite game ever, and I swear I'm super good at it

Book Recs - tell me your reading vibes/popular tropes you like and I will give you FIVE (not one, not two, but FIVE!!!) book recs because I like talking about books. If you show up talking about non fiction, then sorry but I am not your gal at all.

Chat - Come talk!! Come chat!! Come say hi and giggle with me about anything!! Come be crazy with me over narratives and themes and character arcs!!! Tell me about school or your day, your OCs, latest WIPs or anything currently on your mind!

Okay that's all I could come up with but literally any and all games are free game. I am keeping this as chill and lowkey as possible.

Characters/Fandoms:

You guys already KNOW my vibes and what I'm around and what I'm not, so feel free to send anything! I float around Marvel/DC (just send in any character and if I don't vibe with it I'll just let you know or leave it unanswered), I think it's obviously I'm Oscar Isaac obsessed....um. Pretty much anything. It's free game and I'll put my foot down if I'm down okay with something or don't want to answer :D

I'm..about to tag some friends...if that's okay...

@divine-knight-hand @romanarose @sarahscribbles @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @sailorholly @in-som-niyah @fictive-sl0th @mischief2sarawr @saturn-rings-writes @superficialdomina @planetwaynez...and I can't remember anyone else now I'm sorry LMAO

KISSES EVERYONE <3

Clem

PS: If you're worried whether I'm comfy or not or familiar with a character or not, just send it in anyway and we'll figure it out from there!

#if i did not tag you its either im going to harass you on discord or i forgot or im worried you'll think im crazy #which i may be a little bit but not entirely #kisses everyone (panicking going to throw up)#clem talks <3 #Clem's Birthday Hang Out #<- NEW TAG !!!!!!!!!!!#when this finishes maybe I'll finally get to updating and revamping my masterlist!!!!!!#jason todd #loki laufeyson #moon knight #dc #dick grayson #marvel #oscar isaac #joel miller

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giganonyx · 2 months

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TBB SEASON 3 SPOILERS

HEADS UP- I WILL BE TAGGING EACH OF MY EPISODE REVIEW THINGS WITH “tbb s3 spoilers”, AND OTHER SPOILER TAGS, PLEASE BLOCK THESE TAGS SO U DONT GET SPOILED!!!

AHHHHH OMEGA MY BABY. She has a pony tail stoppp my child is all grown up I will cry. Ok but she ate the new hairstyle she is slaying.

ERGH SHE HAS BEEN THERE 150 DAYS. Sick and twisted. She contrasts SO heavily with the whole sterile, orderly environment, it’s literally heartbreaking to watch. Forced into this mindless routine, her hopeful attitude constantly being beaten down on?? HURTING. GET HER OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE.

GOD seeing Crosshair look so broken BROKE ME. His shaking hands??? They took away the ONE thing he still had- his superior sniping skills, his steady hand. They took that AWAY from him. FUCKED UP. THEY TORE HIM DOWN. I can’t I’m so sad.

DADDY’S HOMEEEJWJWISNWIANQOQOQB (Hunter was on screen for the first time this season) (He is SO FINE)(MY HUSBAND HAS RETURNED FROM HIS HIATUS IN A TRAUMATIZED STATE BUT NONETHELESS HAS RETURNED TO GRACE MY SCREEN AND BE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE)

I had a horrible sense of dread overtake my body when he said something like “our mission isn’t over yet”… like idk I felt so ILL. PAIN. WHY do I have the feeling my man isn’t going to make it SHUT UP.

ALSO HIM MAKING RECKLESS DECISIONS???? The kidnapping of his daughter and the death of his brother have done a NUMBER on this man.

WRECKER my cutie patootie!! Yk it’s bad when Wrecker starts to become a voice of reason (which, Hunter in his desperate mindset, promptly ignores 😭)

HAHBANQKNSJQQKO CROSSHAIR IS SO FUNNY DURING HIS ESCAPE WITH OMEGA- literal snark fest

Need Omega bullying a mouse droid on repeat.

Stop mouse droid bullying 😭

OOOO NALA SE’S WARNING TO OMEGA TO LEAVE?? I’m scared. And Omega ate it up tho. She said “say less lmao I’m gone ✌️”.

Did palpy not feel a disturbance into the force. Was bro so into the “project Necromancer deets” he couldn’t tell his vessel was peacing out. Common Palpy L.

RUN OMEGA TAKE YOUR SARCASTIC BROTHER WITH U

JUST A GIRL AND HER DOG AND HER GRUMPY BROTHER EHEHEHEHE

OUGAHHH OK OK IM BOUNCING AROUND EPISODES HERE BUT STAY WITH ME

WHEN CROSSHAIR SAID “forget the hound, Omega.”, it lowkey felt like he was talking about himself. He was telling her to forget him, he was a broken animal, with no point in nurturing back to health. She needs to give up on him if she wants to move forward. BUT SHE DIDNT BECAUSE MAMA DIDNT RAISE NO UNLOYAL LOSER. NO. OMEGA IS THE REALEST ONEEEEE.

EMERIE you confuse me. I hate u yet am intrigued by u. Looking forward to her character development ahhhh.

HUNTER MY POOKIE BEAR BACK TO HIM BC that man was doing FLIPS chopping off the eldritch horror vines. They snatched his brother and he said “hell naw hoe let go of my BRO” and just. Went to town. Me when Hunter exists 🎉🎉🎉🎉

OH OU OH IHHIWHAIANQO ALSO THE MYSTERY GUY IN THE GREEN TACTICAL ARMOR?? IS THE ONE DOING THE “TORTURE” OR WHATEVER TO CROSSHAIR AND THAT GROUP OF CLONES??? If that’s really tech I’m gonna scream. You’re telling me he’s torturing his own brother. Tech would never even THINK about doing shit like that the man just wants to read nerdy newspapers. Desecration of the nerd lifestyle. OK I REALLY HOPE ITS HIM. LIKE I REALLY DO. OOO PLEASE I WILL CRY. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY SHOW THIS MYSTERY CLONE. NO NEED. IT HAS TO BE BROWN EYES (delusion).

OK I AM SO TIRED MY HEAD HURTS MY LIFE IS CHANGING Jesse we need to cook (I need to make tbb art) BUT I AM GOING TO BED FIRST

#the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb #star wars tbb #hunter tbb #tbb s3 spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #bad batch season 3 #bad batch season 3 spoilers #spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch season 3 spoilers

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tendou-satori-chocolatier · 11 months

Note

please give me your iwaoi fanfic recs 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Help I'm so dead. I just freaking deleted my iwaoi recs list and now I have to make it again 🥲🥲🥲 freaking Tumblr. You guys better eat this up cause im remaking this all over again. Okay anyways, ver 2: my iwaoi fanfic recs list:

(Not in any particular order, most have smut, all can be found on ao3)

1.) Coffee king- oiivkawa- the starting point for my love of cafe au's, best coffee au fanfic ever period, so so so fluffy, oikawa is the cutest cafe server and he falls HARD for the cafe's new kind-of-regular, Iwaizumi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10721739/chapters/23756658

2.) Wedding ring- crazychipmunk- angst, heart-rending, surprisingly made me cry, happy ending tho, super good angsty iwaoi fanfic, I promise its not ALL angst tho😭, it's super fluffy too

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393174/chapters/61577038

3.) The courtship ritual of the Hercules beetle- kittebasu- bugs? Oikawa is still a nerd its just for bugs now, I'm just gonna copy and paste the summary cause I love it and it sums it up perfectly: "Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right." I love fics like this that preserve the characteristics of the characters even though it has nothing to do with volleyball

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6422014/chapters/14701168

4.) That's your husband?!- a_very_smolfrog- just😌🤌, iwaoi being simps, oikawa is a physics professor and iwa is a volleyball coach au, makki is iconic as always, iwaoi being the iconic: childhood friends to lovers and we adore eachother but we will definitely expose eachother if need be trope, I'm so sad this is so short (2000 words), it should've been longer😔, I adore them all

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412615

5.) Conquering the great king- suggestivescribe- this fic is actually so iconic, just perfection at its max tbh, just iwaoi being iwaoi but make it smutty and make it at the office, iwa is an editor and tbh I don't remember or know what kawa is, it's some office job, not kuroo being a slay as always, honestly has to be one of the best iwaoi fanfics of all time

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3301085?view_full_work=true

6.) Until the sky opens up- iwaoidk- the summary lowkey did them dirty, not really tho cause I still read it😋🙄 but this was way better than I thought it was going to be, like iwaoi accidentally gets kissed by every member in his team, I'm still convinced that they did all that to make oikawa GET A MOVE ON, oikawa confesses and he's a little dense but so is iwa so whatever, they're perfect for eachother like that😻

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008225

7.) Looks like it- ivyfics- iwaoi have been dating for a while now, they just didn't know it, iwa is very competitive in his knowledge on tooru, cute and short, recommend if you want something to speed read for some lighthearted fluff

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729118

8.) Six month lover- afuzzyowl- I'm gonna be completely honest, I haven't finished this fic yet BUT I PROMISE ITS NOT CAUSE IT WAS BORING, IT WAS SO GOOD, I just never got to finishing it cause I was busy but thinking about this fic makes me actually want to finish it, oikawa makes iwaizumi a PowerPoint presentation on why they should date, oikawa is absolutely utterly in love with iwaizumi (same, like who isn't?), oikawa is trying to convince his best friend to fall for him, I adored this and now I need to go finish it, edit: HELP IM BASICALLY FINISHED AND ITS SO GOOD BEHESKJSA ITS SO SO SO GOOD I CANNOT EVEN FIND THR WORDS

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100501/chapters/32488506

9.) Kilometer zero- internetpistol (orphan_account)- a classic iwaoi fic, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn, it's just them in a class well done iwaoi fic, there's nothing else to say, it was really good, "just gay yearning"- the author's ao3 tag

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732224/chapters/70448769

10.) The Pda jar- orphan_account- iwaoi is obliviously in love, everyone knows it but them and they're all tired of their pda so they make a pda jar, it's really the only way to make them see their idiocy😌, this is why I love aoba johsai folks, live love laugh seijoh, highkey hilarious

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230951

#here you guys go!#sorry for procrastinating while making this😭#iwaoi fanfics #haikyuu fanfics #iwaoi fanfic recommendations #haikyuu fanfic rec #haikyuu fanfic recommendation #haikyuu #iwaoi #iwaizumixoikawa

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corporatefrog · 11 months

Text

꒦‧₊ ꒷ Team Stan w/ a reader who can shapeshift into animals! [Headcannons] ✧.*

✧.* tags: college au, superhero au,

✧.* Charactions: kyle broflovski, stan marsh, kenny mccormick, butters scotch

a/n: this is an old request but i think i was able to get pretty silly with it

masterlist

Kyle

FLYING TOGETHER PLEASE

Imagine soaring through the sky with fucking human kite

And being such a better flyer than him

Literally cliche flying through the clouds and kyle traces his hands through them

“Stop going so high! I can’t gain altitude that fast!”

“Uh… lame power? Get better? Don’t be a human kite?”

“I fucking hate you.”

“SORRY CAN'T HEAR YOU AIR PRESSURE TOO LOUD”

Yall probably fight really well together

He thinks up the plans and you shapeshift and attack

Dynamic duo vibes fr

DROPPING IN ON A VILLAIN FROM ABOVE

BLOCKING OUT THE SUN OR SOME SHIT

Coolest duo

Stan

“Dude I TOLD YOU not to go in the radioactive lake”

“Oh… I thought that was code for go into the radioactive lake”

“In what world is telling you not to do something code for doing it?”

“Uh- YOU CANT CONTROL ME I CAN TURN INTO A BIRD NOW”

Tries to not be impressed because he’s supposed to be annoyed

But he thinks its so fucking cool

Lowkey wanted that to be his power if he could choose anything

After the veal thing he volunteered at animal shelters

This is real because I said so let me be delusional

Asks you to turn into a cat and talk to the other cats to make sure they don’t hate him

Because ferguson always glares at him from the corner and he is NOT interested in being attacked by a bunch of pissed cats

Convinced they’re scheming against him

Still mad at you for going into the radioactive lake though

Kenny

He cannot comprehend it

Like you try explaining it to him and it is just NOT clicking

The only thing that works is telling him it’s like Beast Boy from Teen Titans

“Oh so you can shapeshift into animals while still regaining your consciousness?”

“I literally said that fifteen times- You anger me so much every day.”

Wants to make the teen titans

He is robin (obviously)

Probably has the costume from halloween a few years back

PLEASE turn into a bear and pretend to fight him

He wants to say he fought a bear

And cartman bet him $100 that he couldn’t

Choreographs an entire battles scene in the middle of town

Because it’s not like south park animal control actually does anything

Kenny now owes you 10 favors that can be cashed in whenever needed

Butters

Turning into a tiger whenever he gets bullied and scaring the shit out of whoever is bothering him

(usually it's eric)

Or turning into a little puppy whenever he’s sad

“Everything alright, butters?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“So you don’t want me to turn into a husky and play with a frisbee?”

“Well you didn’t mention that. That changes everything!”

Just being his lil animal buddy

Turning into an elephant walking to a doctors appointment to get there in like 2 seconds

If he’s professor chaos, he refuses to attack when you’re an animal

It’s animal abuse 🙁

He’ll punch you in the face as a person but he REFUSES to hit a cat

Even if you’re a mountain lion lunging at him

Heart of gold fr

Overall

NO ONE TELLS CARTMAN

A rat got into his sock drawer and ripped holes in all of them?

What a shame :( so sorry that happened to you

Suddenly all of his clothes have cat piss on them

How could that have happened??? Poor poor eric

What do you mean you’ve found spider webs everywhere but no spiders? Hopefully there aren’t spider eggs everywhere. That would be terrible.

Really just looking for excuses to ruin cartman’s day

#south park #south park x reader #corporatefrog #stan marsh #butters stotch #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski

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heartfullofleeches · 2 years

Note

this whole school is full of mentally unstable ppl. im here to make it worse

theres this goth girl that sits in the very back of all your classes, an inkblot against the wall- she managed to change her schedule to match yours. if anybody asks, she'll say she put some of sort of love spell on you but really shes just got blackmail on the principal. she sits at the table next to yours at lunch even if its full of ppl she hates (which means anyone who isnt you), even trails behind you as you walk home despite living the complete opposite direction (and its a miracle you dont hear her- her boots are very loud !) she practically materializes from your shadow just to sit next to you at all those stupid pep rallies

shes never managed to work up the courage to speak to you, but my god is she smitten. just wants to wrap you up in her long coat and never ever ever ever let you go ! -esoterica (lowkey tumblr has been Devouring all my asks lately i'll be so sad if this one doesnt make it 😔ive known unnamed yandere goth gf for 12 seconds and i love her already)

Regina tosses the small rock in her hands a few times as you walk ahead of her. The smaller zipper on your backpack was unzipped - like you were expecting and wanted her plan to work out in the end. Coming up in a group of trash cans, she lifts her hood over head and hurls the rock as hard as she can against one of them.

As you inspect the source of the vibration, Regina runs up behind you and shoves something in your backpack before trying to speed away. She doesn't move fast enough as you feel the tug on your bag and turn to face her. She blushes as your eyes meet hers.

"Your backpack was unzipped. Pay more attention next time." She says in a monotone, slightly deeper voice in hopes you won't recognize her. She wont be able to wear her colored contacts for a while, but it's worth it if you don't know she's the one who left the gift in your bag - despite it being a secret confession of her love.

Regina scampers away before you can even thank her.

At home, you find a keychain in your back with a skeletal kitten holding its open dismembered tail in its mouth and the tag line, "You've got me by the tail."

You don't think much of it more than a kind gesture by a potential admirer, but it's so much more - embedded with the love she held for after all the missed opportunities to hand it over to you in the past. In the classroom, by the bleachers, outside your house at night. It was just a silly little trinket she got as a promotional prize that became a charm and symbol of her love.

The following day, Regina was more quiet than usual at the sight of that little keychain on your zipper - utterly shell-shocked and in prayer that one day she'll get over her nerves and tell you how she feels.

#yandere goth #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere insert #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere x darling #yandere #Yandere blurb #yandere x y/n #yandere fic #female yandere #yandere drabble

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iovnyu · 2 years

Text

ೃ enhypen’s reaction to you getting a rose from a random stranger

genre: fluff?

pairing: enhypen x f reader

a/n: i am back with another headcanon! i got this idea from tik tok a while ago LOL but i hope you guys like it! it is lowkey a little rushed but that is fine... anyways remember to look at the request guide here before you ask for one !!

「 heeseung 」

immediately grabs it out of your hand and chucks it into the nearest trash can. he will grumble to himself and furrow his eyebrows. he can’t believe a man had the nerve to come up to both of you and decided to only give you a rose. he rambles on about how if the stranger wanted to give you a rose, he should have received one too. he doesn’t let that bother him though because next thing you know, he is driving you to the closest grocery store to get you a bouquet of flowers.

「 jay 」

this man will stare at the flower like it is the damn devil. he will poke at it with a stick when he finds out someone else other than him gave you a flower. he loves to gift you flowers anytime you want so its weird knowing that you got that flower from a random stranger. he won’t be mad at you just frustrated that the flower lowkey looked prettier than the flowers he gives you. he would put on gloves and quickly dispose of the flower, remembering the tag that showed where it came from. he’ll get you the prettiest flowers you have ever seen the next time he sees them.

「 jake 」

becomes sulky. he sees you with a flower in hand and his heart just breaks. he becomes quiet for a little bit before asking you where you got the flower from. once he figures out that a person gave you the flower because you are attractive, he becomes even more sulky. he will ask if you would accept his flowers if he were to give you one. of course you said yes and immediately threw away the flower the random person gave you. next thing you know jake is back to his old self and runs to a flower shop to get you an arrangement of flowers.

「 sunghoon 」

he is literally flabbergasted. as soon as he picks you up from wherever you were and sees that rose, he immediately asks questions. he will keep saying he doesn’t care and it doesn’t bother him that some man gave HIS girl a stupid red rose. he won’t admit he is jealous or mad but he will keep trying to convince himself that it doesn’t bother him. he would tell you that if you wanted a rose you should have told him and he would go out to get it for you. he becomes sad for like a few seconds until you kiss his cheek or something.

「 sunoo 」

he is honestly so shocked because a random person on the street gave you a rose and winked at you. you’re shocked as well because anyone else would have taken one look at you two and immediately know you guys are a couple. you look at sunoo, with the rose in hand, and tell him to not overthink it. but let me tell you, this man is already fuming and staring down the guy who gave you that rose. taking it from you, he throws it in the trash and tells you that he will deliver flowers to your doorstep tomorrow.

「 jungwon 」

jungwon seems to be the one who is more civil about it. but on the inside he is screaming his lungs out. when he saw you walking towards him with not just one flower but a whole bouquet of them, he’ll simply tell himself to breathe before asking you anything. he will ask you a couple of questions about who gave it you and when they gave it to you. once he sees you put the bouquet down, he quickly grabs it and tosses it in the trash. he did not want to see that anymore. he’ll ask you if you want flowers, tell him and he will deliver them to you himself. hell, he will buy a whole flower shop for you if you asked.

「 niki 」

this one sassy mf. he’ll just glare at whoever just gave you the flower. he saw the person coming from a mile away, having their eyes set on you. when the person comes to your guys table, niki immediately holds out his hand to shut the person up. he tells them that if they want to gift you a flower, he would have to have one first then he will see if they are worthy of giving you a flower. the person actually gives niki the flower and runs away. niki will just look at you and tell you to not accept any flowers unless it is from him.

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milflewis · 1 year

Note

Hiiii do you have any lewis/jenson fic recs maybe…..I was going through your tag for them and I am intrigued !

always happy to get more ppl into the brainrot that is slagclaren! starting with the bible and holy grail:

(get a little) closer by @thelittlebirdthatkeptsomanywarm: literally the first lewis/jenson fic i read and i have reread it so many times that if it was an actual book it would probably be falling apart lmao. this is mandatory reading for anyone who likes slagclaren btw !!!!!!!! it’s funny and clever and hot and it’s a so the writing is as fantastic as always and her jenson voice is chefs kiss

(History Has Its) Eyes On You by @effervescentdragon: akira loves me and i am her favourite and this is proof. who else would write me slutty angry lewis vs pissed off jenson who is soft despite it all and lowkey highkey hates it and do it so well? perfection

when they were young and veins were tight: THE fic about THE commercial ! full of jenson in a dress (hot!) being annoyed that lewis is so good at sex as lewis is all endearing and Focused and Serious at the task in hand (read: getting jenson off). delightful and hot and hilarious and brilliant

i’m also going to shamelessly self-rec don’t mind me: just a tumblr bite-sized fic of jenson and lewis being friends with benefits with no communication while all lovely and stupid and just a little sad

#jenson n lewis my beloved #i am finding it v interesting to realise that all the slagclaren i’ve either read or written has been jenson pov #if anyone has anymore fic recs for them pls let me know ! or feel free to reblog this #slagclaren #rpf fic rec #anon tag #niamh.asks

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sips-tea-cutely · 2 years

Note

Can I request playing animal crossing with the DrV3 boys 🤧🤧

NDRV3 boys playing Animal Crossing

a/n: I LOVED WRITING THIS OMG

#Kokichi Ouma

named his island equestria…/j. in all honesty it was probably named DICEland

HE LOVES zipper so much its lowkey concerning

probably decorated his house with all the easter furniture JUST to piss people off

ALSO has a love-hate relationship with tom nook cause on one hand, he loves how cheeky nook is but on the other, kokichi is so lazy to farm any bells he couldn’t expand his house after paying debts 😭😭

loves to hit his villagers with his net to make them angry (esp bam, reminds him of kaito….)

lowkey vengeful too??? if there was a loot floating around and he was talking w a villager, he would hit them with his net as ‘payback’

his ac profile pic is him w a flimsy axe behind you… ITS /J PROMISE 😭😭

speaking of you, he LOVES to co-op w you, gonta and maybeeee kirumi. his fav thing is to play hide and seek or tag in the game (he always wins at h&s ☹️)

#Korekiyo Shinguji

named his island the default name (Mytown)

he doesn’t rlly have opinions abt his villagers but he really favors blathers, respects his work ethic and likes to listen to his rambles abt the insects

im only /hj when i say that even his house is a dedication to anthropology… like you could walk in and you’d just say “yep this is kiyo’s house.” he used the imperial set + the fossil plaque and incense burner omg lowkey aesthetic tho

i feel like he didn’t know you could have more villagers so for like 9 months, he just stayed there talking to his two villagers BYEE 😭😭😭

LOVES TO FARM!!! omg i wouldn’t be surprised if he could pay off his debts one after the other (although his fav is to look for the fossils)

he also wouldn’t mind if u needed help farming too he just.. REALLY likes farming

he loves co-op!! only requirement is that you must be beside him so he can also see your screen and see him walking around its so cute 💀💀

#Gonta Gokuhara

named it… the island i did NOT ask a gonta bot how dare you

loves blathers!! when i say love, i mean LOVES blathers. loves to bring him bugs but got sad when he saw blathers disliked them

HE USED THE SANRIO SET!!! his fav part of it is the kerokerokeroppi tray ITS SO CUTE <333

FAVE THING is to catch butterflies and tarantulas tbh wouldn’t be surprised if he filled his inventory w them

OH speaking of bugs, instead of running away from wasps, he tried going towards them and had a meltdown when they stung him…

HIS AVATAR’S FACE IS SO MESSED UP….. he honestly didn’t know that you could heal your face until u saw his avatar omg 😭😭 (kokichi then told him you could die and he started to be more careful ☹️)

omg dont let me get started about co-op + gonta… HE INVITES YOU TO ONLINE DATES AND AND YOU RUN AROUND HIS TOWN 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏

#Shuichi Saihara

named his town clair de lune (bc he was playing at night and he liked the music at night (clair de lune meaning moonlight))

his fav is bam, likes how hes so much like kaito 😭😭. might even challenge him occasionally

also he HATES tom, timmy and tommy ☹️☹️ reminds kokichi 🤬🤬🤬

OFDKDKREJH he loves to interact with villagers and decorating his house (he def has island togetherness and DIY furniture lv. 5)

tbh his house isn’t rlly much to gawk at but it does def look like a stereotypical detective’s office (coffee, corkboard) w just… a bunch of wreaths in every room

doesn’t like co-op??? he prefers to switch nintendos w you and letting him explore your island while you explore his AHHSSJSJ 🙏🙏

^^ STILL DOESNT MIND IT!! would def love to play w you and kaede. omg and when he found out you could emote? “you paid off your debt? that’s great, s/o! *clap emote*”

#Rantaro Amami

HE NAMED IT [insert your ship name]’s island 😭😭🙏🙏

loves shari, thinks its cool how she can make leaf umbrellas!! thinks her ‘cheeky’ catchphrase is rlly neat

DESIGNED HIS HOUSE FISH RELATEDDD (so many aquariums + the fishing boat flag..)

unlike ppl like kokichi or gonta he doesn’t login daily, he logs in on weekends and when u wanna play tbh

in shsl adventurer style, he likes hunting! i wouldnt put it past him to show you all around his museum tbh, ITS SO.. FULL 😧😧😧😧

he also.. BUILT A PARK FOR DATES??? there are so many flowers of your favorite color, it’s placed nearest to the stars— he’s such a romantic… 🙏🙏 (gotta find myself a rantaro…)

#K1-B0

named it World001.. i love being robophobic 🤭🤭

loves the wisp, kokichi was talking abt how knowing they were annoying for being a scaredy poo and kiibo WENT‼️OFF‼️

tbh hes the type of player that never does the main quest, JUST the side quests, id be so angry…

def is the type who gets motivated for a ‘complete’ profile. naww cause he has so much nook miles…

dislikes zipper, thinks hes creepy.. he heard about the thing where you go out of the screen and zipper starts acting normal and it just gave him the heebie jeebies

he *cough* “cries” when he gets mail… ESP THE ONE FROM MOM!! s—shes so kind?? like he was professor idabashi’s experiment so he never received maternal love it’s just so nice 😭💖

#Kaito Momota

named his island space fantasy (after the universal studios jn ride…)

fav is gullivar, likes his pirate get up and the way he speaks

hes the type of player who has to google everything 😭 like at first he tried doing it without a guide but then after the debts, he gave up

i bet his search history is a lil like ‘how to get abs 1 month’ ‘why is it bad to forge your age’ ‘how many years do you go to jail for age fabrication’ ‘animal crossing step by step’ ‘how to get gullivar on my island’ ‘how to challenge bam’(/hj)

def always fights w bam too (fishing, bug hunting, etc) 😭😭 but like its healthy competition so its ok

HATES THE WISP 🤬🤬 he has the wisp quest and is NEVER finishing it (also lowkey reminds him of pre-workout shuichi and yea… 😨😨😨)

LOVES TAKING PICS WITH YOU?!?!?!?! he saved so many photos of him and you looking at the sky, your avatar smiling, and a pic of bam locked in a fence square (don’t ask…)

#Ryoma Hoshi

he he honestly didn’t put much effort into it since he wasn’t interested at all at first (just named it island…)

omg his house is either all or nothing at all; he mightve just inserts the decor he thinks looks neat or didn’t see the reason why to lose sleep about it and just left it at the default furniture ☹️☹️ (ryoma have some fun plz)

his favorite is saharah cause he appreciates how she makes the own living (he bought alot of rugs but didn’t hv enough space 😭😭 (he didn’t wanna fall for toms schemes & expand))

he also relates a lot to totakeke not the hippie part but the mellowness i something he likes alot

tbh he plays only maybe 6 times a month? he likes to check in on his villagers 💖💖

ngl he doesn’t prefer co-op, he mostly likes to watch you instead and give you advice based on his own experience

337 notes · View notes

smallpapers · 1 year

Text

Updated profile pic!

Thanks to everyone for your support through the past year <3 I can't believe TOH has ended...

Some updates/ personal notes under the cut!! Like, its really personal its almost narcissistic!

PRONOUNS: I go by she/they now!!! I've always had a lowkey gender crisis (fueled by an existential crisis really) so I am FINALLY trying this out. Feel free to refer to me with they/them pronouns :) (I guess I should have seen something coming when I made my first proper OC over a decade ago as an aro ace agender lol)

TOH ENDING: I'm really sad that the owl house is over...but I'm so glad I got to meet so many cool people in the TOH fandom!!! I even had the pleasure of sending a few friends stickers as a small token of appreciation. I'm like super grateful for all the encouragement and notes! I don't talk much here but I do read the reblog tags :) The brainrot was so serious that it made me draw basically everyday the past year (even if its a small doodle) and i really feel like i grew as an artist, and I honed my skills although I still have a long way to go! I can see improvement in my framing and colouring skills :) I think I might do some funny compilation video in the near future...

A BREAK/MINI-HIATUS: I am considering taking a small break from fandom. It might be a few weeks or maybe less, depending on how quickly I get out of this slump. I am guessing its a burn out from all the negative news regarding AI 'art' and being tussled round by the twitter algorithms. Also maybe because i did two epic pieces back to back... I have a lot of ideas and I really don't want to stop posting art online! I want to do sort of a post-WAD/pre-epilogue HW comic series, as well as a grom animatic :)

THANK YOU HUNTLOW ugh they mean so much to me... I know its silly because its a silly little fictional ship. But its really unlocked some creativity in me that I lost? Along with such a lovely community, it has really inspired me to keep drawing! Maybe its a right place at a right time thing, but after watching ASiaS, it gave me brainrot so much that it kicked my other bad habits out the window! I got to do so much cool stuff i always wanted to do including making an animatic, comics, being in a fan zine, epic pieces, making stickers... I can't believe they are canon now its been such a journey to watch this ship and the shippers blossom :)

THANK YOU!!!! If you've ever liked or reblogged any of my drawings, especially leaving funny tags, I just really want to say thank you <3 I really do cherish all the comments I get!!!! and if you've read this far, I'm super impressed!

That's all from me for now!!

<3 papers

#smallishpapers #its a lot of personal stuff and some thoughts hahaha

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vacantgodling · 4 months

Note

hi hi hi i would like to know about.... piper/keevan, piper/saith, saith/keevan, and the final boss.... saith/keevan/piper

(basically just talk to me as much as u want about the dynamics with those three)

MULTI HEWWO THANK YOU <3

these three i do be rotating in my brain a LOT. (also tagging @void-botanist cuz you mentioned in your ask wanting to hear about some of the saith stuff! so this is some of it lmaoo)

so for general context for the three of them:

PIPER is an orphan (heavy asterisks but that's backstory and plot relevant stuff LOL) who grew up in the city of kingsburrow. she decided that she would make a name for herself and decided to join guilds (with zero formal training mind you) and epically failed her guild exam the first time she tried to take it. this is when she meets SIR KEEVAN (who is a full-fledged knight) and SAITH (keevan's protégé and a page) who are in easthollow (the guild city where the guild exams take place) on some business. the two of them end up extending their stay and devote a year to actually teaching piper a LOT of things from better combat techniques to lathsburian history, the works. and the three of them get close!! so without further ado.... all the ships:

and the rest under the cut cuz this is finna be LONG

PIPER / KEEVAN (status: canon... ish)

so this ship is technically THE canon one of the bunch. technically the beginning of tcol starts with these three and its very very evident that keevan and piper have the hots for each other they're flirting out the GATE. however, keevan has a particular sort of "reputation": as a strong, kind, charismatic and dashingly handsome knight so so many people are chasing after his affections and swooning over him at every step, but piper doesn't want to be just another damsel to him, she wants to stand on equal ground to him, and she doesn't feel like she'll be able to do that until she becomes a knight of her own merit. keevan really admires piper's reckless passion and drive (though he sometimes worries because she is Very Reckless LMAO), and she's not like anyone else he's ever talked to. she doesn't view him as Sir Keevan the knight in shining armor or the respected officer or an object. she views him as keevan, a man she respects but just a man, and one that she wants him to be able to rely on her just as much as she'll rely on him. whenever the two of them are together its kind of like no one else exists (saith lowkey ends up third wheeling HARD a lot of the time, rip poor baby). a lot of their teases come from keevan flirting with piper and piper playfully rejecting his advances, but both of them know she's into it lol. she gets super pissed whenever people flirt with him esp in front of her and she's not shy about making a big deal about it LOL. though obvs people will remind her that they "aren't together" but tbh they're basically together.

however... they never do actually make their relationship official..... for reasons.......

PIPER / SAITH (status: canonically one sided)

piper and saith are best friends tbh. both of them are studying under keevan (though saith has more formal training than piper), the two of them tend to bicker playfully, saith is the voice of reason and steers piper away from yknow. violence when its not necessary. he acts like he's exasperated with her but really piper makes him laugh. piper loves being around saith because she loves teasing him and she's on his level so she feels comfortable going to him for advice and spars with him the most often to test her skills (and saith never goes easy on her lol). but the only "wrench" in this is saith develops a crush on her... pretty quickly. but because he's close to both her and to keevan, he keeps it to himself for like. so long. he's content to watch the two of them be happy and tries to avoid getting sad or upset about it because at the end of the day he loves both of them, they're the most important people to him. and even though pipes and keevan never get together, saith never tries to shoot his shot out of respect for both of them, he can't bring himself to. as far as he's aware and hopes, he never wants piper to know how he feels about her. and thankfully for him, she's not the most observant.

SAITH / KEEVAN (status: crackship)

its the teacher/student boss/subordinate relationship to me ok like its just kinda Hot. saith and keevan have known each other for at least 7 years, and saith has been training under keevan as a knight for a good while. saith feels like he'll never measure up to keevan because even though keevan works hard everything seems so effortless to him?? he can clear dozens of enemies or foes with a single sword strike, he's the perfect noble and everyone relies on him... and saith is just the seventh son of his family. no one expects anything out of him and he has a hard time believing in this "potential" that keevan keeps talking about that he sees in him. meanwhile, before saith keevan never took on a protege. he admires how saith is extremely humble and because of that he's very teachable. he doesn't have "natural talent" he's just a hard worker and that's better. plus, because a lot of knights do tend to be nobles (or end up staying in low positions if they're not of high birth) saith being a down to earth person is really refreshing. a lot of people don't realize that keevan is constantly putting on a performance for people. yes, he is charismatic and dependable and charming, but people Expect it of him and he never has a break to... not have to do that if that makes sense. saith is someone who he feels like he doesn't have to put on that much of a performance for, and eventually gets to a point where yes keevan is saith's senior, but they're close friends. he tells saith more of how he feels than anyone else. and i think that closeness could've very very easily sparked something More tm if saith wasn't so "i'm not much" energy didn't exist lol.

SAITH / KEEVAN / PIPER (status: crackship aka perfect world ot3)

REALISTICALLY THE THREE OF THEM WOULD BE A REALLY GOOD THROUPLE FOR A LOT OF REASONS. saith is the voice of reason and the milder one between keevan's optimism and piper's recklessness. keevan has people he can be himself around and who he depends on without feeling like he can't ever be real with them. piper has people who value and understand her and appreciate her strength and want to grow with her. THEY WOULD'VE ALL BEEN SO GOOD TOGETHER BUT FUCKING.... ALAS......

#if its not obvious but what i'm saying - something negative does happen that keeps any of these ships from coming to be #but oops i've said too much #i love these three sm crying and sobbing #s: tcol

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theerrorofmylife · 1 year

Text

Witch Queen Ch.3

Thorin x Witch!Reader

See Masterlist for chapter listings and descriptions as well as other fics and series I have in progress, requests are always welcomed and let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list :)

Hahaaaaaa I really like this chapter, its just so.... gah. Cuteness, Thorin and the reader lowkey acting like a couple already, and trolls. What a lovely concoction; please enjoy ~ Error

Warnings: Mentions of death, grief, PTSD, Thorin being a simp for the reader, soul-crushing cuteness, Gandalf being a little shit, injuries, mentions of nausea and broken bones, etc etc

That night there was singing. The dwarves had gathered by the hearth, each staring hauntingly into the fire. They sing of that day, when Smaug came and destroyed Dale, when he destroyed the mountain… that day… The more time that passed since then, the more I remembered. In dreams I saw things more clearly, I saw what really happened. I saw the fire, buildings falling all around me, bodies piled in the streets… Nightmares were a recurring problem, and I knew some small things that helped, but they never really went away. Over time it just got… easier. It was better to rationalize that everything I saw was in the past, that it couldn’t hurt me, that it was all over. But it never really was over. It’s never over when Smaug is still alive.

I don’t remember falling asleep, but I woke with someone’s hands lightly patting my arm. I had to blink several times to clear the blurry haze of dreams from my eyes, but when I was finally able to focus, I looked up to see Thorin. He gave me such a soft, sad smile before telling me they were getting ready to leave. Nodding blearily, I began mentally preparing to leave when I noticed daylight had only barely glinted through the windows.

Navigating through the small space full of dwarves, I made my way back to my stuff tucked away in a corner. As I situated my bag on my back, tucking my satchel to my side, I noticed that Bilbo was missing from within the mix.

“Thorin…” whispering, not to draw too much attention or disturb anyone, I held my hand out to motion him towards me. “Is he not coming with us?” Thorin sighed heavily, his eyes closing.

“No, I do not believe so. We are down to 14 members.” I sighed. Our odds weren’t great, even with Bilbo. But at least we had the element of surprise because he didn’t smell like a dwarf. Now,

we have nothing, nothing but brute force and maybe Gandalf if he didn’t leave us halfway through.

“Then we leave… maybe he will catch up, change his mind,” Thorin rolled his eyes at this, and I lightly hit him in the chest. “He might! He deserves the chance to change his mind. He’s not like you and I; I came here for you, and you had no choice but to go on this quest for your people. He has a choice; he has a life here that means something to him. And if he stays, if he chooses not to come with us, then we respect his decision.” He tilted his head as he listened to me, watching me with mock offense and astonishment. In truth, no matter how much he’d act like he was upset with me, he knew I was right. And besides, I doubt he could be upset with me for long.

“We are leaving now. If he joins us, then so be it. If he stays here… I will do as you ask.”

Within the hour we had loaded our ponies up with bags and sleeping rolls, and slowly made our way out of Hobbiton. While neither Gandalf nor I rode here he assured me that he told a few of the company members to bring two extra ponies for us, and I was not disappointed with my gray one. She was sweet, clearly well into her age, a bit snappish at the boys but she got on well enough with Myrtle and Minty. Balin called her Fenen. Morning had broken and covered the woods of the Shire in beautiful golden light, flittering down through branches, warming my back.

“Wait! Wait!” The young hobbit came running up behind the group, “I signed it.”

“Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield.”

“Give him a pony.”

“No, no, no, no. That…that won’t be necessary. Thank you. I’m sure I can keep up on foot. Yeah, I…I’ve done my fair share of walking holidays, you know? Even got as far as Frog Morton once.” I have no idea what he’s talking about, and I don’t think I’ve ever met a frog named Morton, but as I looked back to the hobbit, he was lifted off the ground and placed on a pony. It was like they had practiced it; the action was so precise and seamless.

“Come on, Nori! Pay up!”

“What’s that about?” Bilbo road up beside Gandalf and me.

“Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you’d turn up. Most of them bet that you wouldn’t.”

“And what did you think?”

“Well…” He paused as a small pouch flew in his direction. He caught it effortlessly, gauging the amount by the sound of the coins clicking together, “My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second.”

Days passed, and with them the beautiful peace of the shire. We went east, across open plains stretching for miles, the golden hills tumbling ahead, and the land faded into thick pine forests and sharp juts of stone. Night hung heavy over the company. We were tired, not to the point of exhaustion, but definitely tired. We had climbed up a small cliff side, settling ourselves on a vantage point looking over the treetops. While the ground was covered in pine needles, I found a way to roll out my bedroll and lay down without dragging any in with me. I laid on my stomach, cloak rolled up as a makeshift pillow under my chest, my mother’s spell book open in front of me as a flick through the pages. Along the margins, little scribbles, tips, and doodles littered the pages, all in my mother’s handwriting. Time had faded the paper yellow, and the ink was gray instead of black now. The leather cover was faded, the edges worn down and fuzzy, the latch on the front no longer closing completely. I missed her, in a deep, strange way that only comes with losing a parent you loved. I don’t know what drew my attention to him, but I looked up to see Bilbo silently walking up to his pony Myrtle. He gave her an apple, smiling fondly at the small horse and I couldn’t help but grin. No wonder Gandalf loved Hobbits so much; if all of them were like Bilbo, the Shire must be an absolutely wonderful place to live. In the darkness beyond, howling echoed in the distance, disrupting the peaceful silence, and turning it tense.

“What was that?” He looked to Fili and Kili, a bad choice of informants in hindsight.

“Orcs.” Kili whispered, as if merely saying their name would call them to us.

“Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there.” Fili built off the tense atmosphere his brother had created. These two will be the death of me, I swear.

“The lone lands are crawling with them. They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood.” Bilbo was afraid, and these two couldn’t seem to get enough enjoyment out of it. They laughed as Bilbo glanced around, terrified that the orcs were closer than they sounded. As cruel as they were for making it out to be a joke, I knew there was some truth to what they said. It had been years, 20 something to be not-so-exact, I had made to mistake of traveling east along the forest river to get to Framsburg, a small town on the edge of the Misty Mountains. It was abandoned now, long since, when the Éothéod left to make their home in the Calenardhon. I didn’t make it far outside the Greenwood before I was attacked. I don’t remember much about it, but there were a lot of them and only one of me. I tell myself I did what I had to, and that’s the truth no matter how you look at it. It was ugly, THEY were ugly, I barely got home afterwards.

“You think that's funny? You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?” Thorin spoke up, and I was suddenly reminded that the orcs weren’t close, and that as far as we were concerned, they weren’t our problem. My eye shot up from where I had been staring at the ground. Thorin was pacing across the camp, making his way to the edge of the cliff.

“Ara nín… please.”

“We didn’t mean anything by it.” Kili lowered his eyes, guilt written across both of their faces.

“No, you didn’t. You know nothing of the world.” He was being harsh, and I don’t blame him, but it reminds me how much he’s changed. I always see him as the young prince sneaking through the city, desperately trying to swoon the naïve little witch he’s guiding. It’s not fair to him, I know. Thorin has grown as a person and a king, to see him as anything less would be an insult.

“Don’t mind him, laddie.” Balin spoke from his place by the fire. “Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs, led by the most vile of all their race: Azog the Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began...by beheading the king.” For the first time, I was hearing the story that started it all 56 years ago. “Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing. Taken prisoner or killed...we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him. A young Dwarf prince facing down the pale Orc.” This wouldn’t have been too long after Dale. He still would have looked the same as before. “He stood alone against this terrible foe. His armor rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield. Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the Orcs back. And our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, nor song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then ‘there- there is one who I could follow. There is one...I could call king’.” A stunned silence followed, a reverence for everything Thorin had done for all of us, for his people. Bilbo broke the silence, finally.

“And the Pale Orc? What happened to him?” I looked to Thorin before looking to Gandalf. Something about the way the old man’s eyes darkened told me that we didn’t want to know.

“He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago.” Thorin walked back to his bedroll, passing mine as he did, and he looked down at me with tired eyes. He swept the foot closest to me out to the side, gently brushing my elbow as he did, and I smiled only a little. I guess that was enough because he also began to smile just a little too. That night, the darkness around us seemed alive, violent, like the air itself was trying to crawl into camp and suffocate us. The next couple of days consumed us in thick pines and narrow paths. And rain. So…much…rain. I was never a fan of being IN the rain. Sure, it was beautiful, and quite peaceful at times, but being IN the rain, freezing and dripping with a runny nose and no feeling in my fingers, this was not ideal.

“Here, Mr. Gandalf? Can’t you do something about this deluge?” Dori piped up from the near end of the party trail. We were all soaked, hoods up but not doing much anymore. I wish I had done something, cast a spell to keep us dry, or perhaps enchanted our cloaks to keep us dry, but little could be done when it rains for 4 days straight.

“It is raining, master dwarf. And it will continue to rain until the rain is done! If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard.” Gandalf was far ahead, riding near Thorin and Dwalin in the front.

“Are there any?”

“What?”

“Other wizards?”

“There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, The White. Then there are the two blue wizards. Do you know, I’ve quite forgotten their names.”

“And who is the fifth?”

“Well, that would be Radagast, The Brown.”

“Is he a great wizard or is he…more like you?”

“I think he’s a very great wizard, in his own way. He’s a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forestlands to the East, and a good thing too, for always evil will look to find a foothold in this world.” He slowed his horse to ride alongside mine. He lowered his head, leaning over to whisper.

“My dear, I must ask something of you.” By his tone, I immediately looked over to Thorin. He was far ahead, leading us forward, and there was little chance he’d hear us from back here.

“Mithrandir, why are you whispering? There is no secret worth keeping from him, you know that.”

“Yes, well, this is more of… a favor. Because we both know how stubborn he can be, and his distaste of Elves will be a hindrance soon enough.” Now this caught my attention.

“What does this have to do with the Elves?” He pulled the map to the mountain from his pocket.

“I may or may not… have asked for Bilbo to borrow this from Thorin last evening. You still read Sindarin, Quenya, and some ancient Dwarvish, yes?” I was fluent in the common tongue as well as Sindarin, the dialect of the Elves of the Greenwood, however my Quenya was iffy at best and I could only read ancient Dwarvish, not speak it.

“I don’t understand what that has to do with this, it’s written in modern Dwarvish, not any dialect of Elvish.”

“Yes, but there are hidden pieces to this map, and I believe there may have been some Elvish tricks used to hide them.”

“So, you want me to try and decode this? Wouldn’t it be better to stop at Rivendell? It’s along our way and would make things a lot easier.” He sighed.

“Thorin will not go to Rivendell, not of his only volition anyhow. No, it would be best if you could decode the map yourself.” I sighed, tucking the map into my cloak.

“I will try, but I make no guarantee of success.” He nodded, seemingly pleased, and rode ahead. This felt like going behind Thorin’s back, but the more I thought about it the less harm I found there. I was helping, I had convinced myself, and as long as I was helping and not hindering then maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. That evening we stopped at an abandoned farm some miles up the hillside. Moss and vines had grown wild over the broken stones, the roof heavy with shattered wooden planks.

“We’ll camp here for the night. Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them.”

“A farmer and his family used to live here.” Gandalf muttered, examining the remains of the house. If I didn’t see the house for myself, I would have thought he meant recently.

“Oin, Gloin, get the fire going.”

“I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the hidden valley.” I knew Gandalf would try to convince Thorin to go to the Elves.

“I’ve told you already. I will not go near that place.”

“Why not? The Elves could help us, we could get food, rest, advice.” I placed my things down on the ground, kicking my bag to keep it from tipping over. I wouldn’t mind going to see Elrond, I had not seen him in a long long time.

“I do not need their advice.” Never mind.

“We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us.

“Help? A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing! You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather, who betrayed my father.” I felt a punch in my gut at that. Thranduil was the one who abandoned him, not Elrond.

“You are neither of them. I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past.”

“I did not know they were yours to keep.” Gandalf left in a huff, stomping away without a word of where he was going. Thorin moved on from the conversation entirely. He kept giving out assignments, making sure food was going, the ponies were taken care of, etc. My legs were killing me from the ride, but I approached him all the same.

“Ara nín…” He turned to me, and his eyes lit. The way he had to look down slightly to meet my eyes gave me a chill. I need to stay focused.

“You heard us then,” I nodded. “I know the elves are like kin to you, but I cannot go to them. They will try to stop us…”

“Or they will aid us.” He rolled his eyes at me, but I ignored it. “Gandalf is trying to guide you to Rivendell, to Lord Elrond. He is a good man, a great man even, who has aided others in Middle Earth so many times. He was a good friend of Durin the 4th, he knew his children and his wife, Disa. Elrond is my friend, he will be yours as well, but you must trust me.”

“My Lady…. I trust you, but I do not trust elves.” I felt the conversation slowly die and I knew I could not convince him… so I pulled the map from my pocket. His eyes went wide with confusion and shock, but thankfully not anything close to betrayal.

“Don’t be alarmed, Seronil, Gandalf had Bilbo lift it from you a few days back. He asked that I investigate it, try and find its secrets that may have been invisible to the eye. Thorin…” He was so close to me, a few inches between our chests, and his eyes were soft again as I looked up at him. “There is hidden text, but I cannot see it. I know you hate them, but if there is a chance we come across the Elves, even by accident, I beg that you take advantage of their tools and knowledge. I could not do it, but maybe they can.” He sighed but lifted his hand to brush my jawline with his knuckles.

“I will do what you ask, but do not hold it against me if I retain my distaste for them.” I sighed with a smile. Only a dwarf could be this stubborn, truly.

“Is he coming back? He’s been a long time.” We turned to look at Bilbo, who was watching in the direction that Gandalf left with growing anxiety.

“He’s a wizard! He does as he chooses. Here. Do us a favor, take this to the lads,” Bofur reassured him, but I saw it didn’t ease Bilbo’s nerves in the slightest. Quicker than a flash, Bofur turned and smacked Bombur’s hand away from the pot, “Stop it, you’ve had plenty.”

“C’mon,” I laughed a little, “Lets eat. There will be time for talk of your distain for elves later.” He smiled, and it was a tired, happy smile that I could imagine seeing only late in the evenings, after a long day. The kind that I’d look up and see as he crosses the doorway into the room, his eyes brightening as he sees I stayed awake, waiting. Heat moves up my neck straight to my ears. I’m getting too ahead of myself. Far, far too ahead of myself. We sat together, eating and speaking of times we lost while apart. I spoke of my times in the forest, dedicating every moment I could spare to expanding my abilities. I elected to keep the fact that I became a horrible recluse during that time to myself. He spoke of his time traveling with his people, moving from place to place, working where he could. He spoke highly of many of those he met along the way, those who helped his people where they could or offered them work for decent pay. The other members of the company recalled their own stories, and even reminisced about their families they would return home to see. Then, Balin began recalling Erebor, the great city under the mountain, the glittering emerald halls, the mines burning so bright you could feel the warmth from anywhere in the city, and the beauty that the dwarves dedicated to their homes. I found myself lost in the wonder of what Erebor must look like, and suddenly felt sick. I felt robbed, without having a right to feel robbed in any way. Erebor must be such a glorious place and it was taken and destroyed before I ever got to see it. I wonder if Thorin would have walked with me through the thousands of halls like he did in Dale. I wonder what kind of people we might have been if Smaug had never shown up. I would have continued to wonder, if not for the sound of Fili and Kili dashing into camp.

“Trolls!! Irak’Adad! Irak’Amad! Trolls have taken the ponies!” Thorin was on his feet within seconds, and he rallied the others as well.

“Weapons! Now!” time felt like it was moving too fast, and suddenly we were all running at three, very large, trolls. Ducking past Dwalin as he swung his ax high, I moved my hand in a sweeping motion, starting from holding it straight out in front of me and ending directly to my side. A small blade that had been dropped to the ground stuck itself into the ankle of the troll closest to me. He stumbled back, shrieking and making a weird squealing sound, and in his flailing he knocked into one of his brothers. I didn’t see it, in hindsight, but I probably wouldn’t have been able to avoid it either. An arm the size of a large horse hit me and knocked me into a tree, crushing my ribs and causing my head to snap forward into the bark. Rolling to the ground, the stillness that followed was soothing in a way. Nothing moved, and not moving was preferable. After a few seconds, the stillness became nausea became the dizzy spinning sensation as I tried to push myself off the ground.

“Lay down your arms! Or we’ll rip his off!” Bilbo was above the fire, arms pulled out in either direction, and with a great huff every dwarf threw down his weapon. Still holding Bilbo hostage, they picked each one of us up and put us into what looked like Potato sacks. I was still trying to stand when a large hand grabbed the back of my head and lifted me up in the air before dropping me into a sack. Being dropped like that made my stomach turn and my head hurt way worse. They didn’t have enough for everyone, but I was lucky to get my own. I was tossed down onto the ground near the others, and if I tilted my head back far enough, I could just barely see Thorin. Everything was still so blurry, and my chest hurt when I tried to breathe.

“Don’t bother cooking ’em! Let’s just sit on 'em and squash ’em into jelly!” Gross. Gross, gross, gross. I tried to stop listening, tried to think of a way to get out of this. If I could, I’d cut our binds, but even moving my shoulder hurt.

“Wait! You are making a terrible mistake.” Bilbo was standing in his own potato sack, hopping around and talking with the trolls. “I mean with the…uh, with the…with the seasoning.” I understand he’s trying, at least he’s putting up the effort to be cunning in the face of being turned to food. But arguing about the type of seasoning was not a good start.

“What about the seasoning?”

“Well, have you smelt them? You’re gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up!” This was hardly the time to be offended, but nearly every dwarf, including those spinning on the spike above the fire, began yelling about how they don’t smell and how rude Bilbo was being. I couldn’t bring myself to disagree with him though. I had spent weeks with these men, and I could attest to the nasty smell we were all slowly accumulating.

“What do you know bout cooking dwarf?”

“Shut up, and let the…uh, flurgerburbur-hobbit talk.” I felt shock, like my heart was falling into my stomach but in reverse. Maybe they would listen to him.

“It’s, uh…” No… no don’t hesitate now.

“Tell us the secret!”

“Ye-yes, I’m telling you. The secret is…to…skin them first!” Oh, Vanar help us. He was going to kill us faster.

“Tom, get me filleting knife.”

“What a load of rubbish! I’ve eaten plenty with their skins on. Scoff ’em I say, boots and all!”

“He’s right! Nothing wrong with a bit o’ raw dwarf. Nice and crunchy.”

“Uh…not…not that one, he…he’s infected!”

“You what?”

“Yeah, he’s got worms in his…tubes.” That… was worse. That was so much worse, it’s a wonderful plan, but the concept of worms in tubes was just… worse. “In-in fact, they all have. They’re infested with parasites, it’s a terrible business, I wouldn’t risk it, I really wouldn’t.”

“Parasites? Did he say parasites?” Oin spoke up from behind me. The others began protesting loudly, contradicting Bilbo’s claims, and I felt hope die a little inside me. If the stubborn pride of dwarves is what kills me today, I swear I’ll never forgive any of them. Suddenly they all stopped talking altogether, and after a quick pause began agreeing with Bilbo.

“I’ve got parasites as big as my arm!”

“Mine are the biggest parasites, I’ve got huge parasites!”

“We’re riddled! -”

“Yes, I’m riddled!”

“What would you have us do then? Let ’em all go?” The largest of the trolls asked, wiping his hand under his nose.

“Well…”

“You think I don’t know what you’re up to. This little ferret is taking us for fools!” Damn it, this one actually had some brains. Our transformation into tonight’s dinner began again and the shouting and jostling was making me sick.

“The dawn will take you all!” Looking up, Gandalf was standing atop the great stone behind the trolls, his staff raised. He brought it down into the stone and cracked it in half, light glaring though the two halves. The trolls screamed in pain, trying to shield themselves from the sunlight as it turned them to stone. In seconds the trolls were nothing more than statues, and the danger had passed. Wiggling out of our potato sacks was a slow process, and I elected to sit and try to fix myself. I heard Gandalf walking near and looked up just as he kneeled beside me.

“Hello my dear.”

“If I could lift my arm, I would smack you.”

“Ah,” he chuckled, “Let’s see what’s the matter.” He lifted his hand with his palm towards me and let it hover where my collarbone would be.

“What is wrong, is she hurt?” Thorin was on the other side of the mayhem and he still managed to notice that I wasn’t standing like the rest of them.

“Just some cracked ribs and a small head injury. How in the world did you manage this though?”

“I was thrown into a tree. Where were you?”

“I had gone to look ahead.” He wheezed as he stood to his full height. Thorin walked over and offered me his hand. I wrapped my hand around his arm, crossing our forearms together, and he pulled me to my feet.

“Sanâzyung…” He moved his hand up to my shoulder, looking down at me as he assessed what he could not see. He turned to the wizard. “What brought you back?”

“Looking behind,” He went to poke one of the stone trolls with his staff. “Nasty business. Still, they all are in one piece.”

“No thanks to your burglar.” I kicked Thorin’s foot with barely any effort.

“He had the nous to play for time. None of the rest of you thought of that.” He was right. Without Bilbo we’d all be dead, made into barely tolerable food, being eaten by barely tolerable trolls. At least we weren’t dead.

~~~

Some translations for you:

Ara nín = Sindarin for “My King”

Seronil = Sindarin for “My love” yes I added this in, Thorin doesn’t speak Sindarin hehe

Irak’Adad = Khuzdul for Uncle

Irak’Amad = Khuzdul for Aunt

Sanâzyung = Khuzdul for “Perfect Love”

~~~

@mrsdurin, @dontaskmehowdontaskmewhy, @emmapotato88, @capricorn-anon, @undecided-about-everything-ever, @dark-chxos, @artemis-the-ace, @floatingintheshire, @kingkamiou

(If tags aren’t working, let me know <3)

#thorin #Thorin Oakenshield #thorin x you #thorin fanfiction #thorin x reader #thorin durin #thorin and company #thorin fic #the hobbit #The Hobbit fic #the hobbit thorin

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