#this is partly being a beach boys fan
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Soft Serve 13 // Flavor 1
Flavor 1: Rainbow Sherbet (Suna x Reader)
Tags: Romance, Fluff, Awkward Romance, Summer Romance, Growing & Learning, Miscommunication
A/N: I started writing this more than half a year ago and decided to pick it back up and finish it but I forgot where I was going with it. I initially wanted to write something more light and introspective, on the pains of growing up and the awkwardness and inability to communicate many of us have, as this fic is partly based off real life experiences, and thus it is a slightly personal fic to me as I reflected on my own past, experiences, and regrets, and hopefully, growth. Then, I had a breakdown and lost the plot lmao. Anyways, have this melting cone of chaos and idk's.
(This fic is cross-posted to my AO3)
Suna Rintarou doesn’t believe in love at first sight.
He thinks that people who fall head over heels for someone at first glance are fools. Love is something that is grown into, to be slowly nurtured with time and dedication. To his logic-based brain, the entire idea of smashing head first into love at a glance is ludicrous, like a bad car crash where you never see it coming until it's too late. And that doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it?
But you know what else they say about love at first sight?
That everyone becomes a believer when it happens to them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suna first meets you in his hometown of Aichi in the summer of his fifteenth year.
He is there for summer break, helping out at his uncle’s ice-cream shop a stone’s throw away from the nearest beach. He didn’t want to be but his parents had insisted, claiming that it would be good for him to spend time with his grandmother and uncle.
Had he been given the choice, he would be spending his break lazing at home playing video games instead of being dressed in this ridiculous pink and yellow striped ice-cream boy cap and uniform, scooping out cones of ‘Soft Serves With A Smile.’ He’d rather be slamming hard serves into the twins that made it onto the same volleyball team as him.
AC doesn’t even exist in the shop as a silver lining. There are only three fans on maximum power, twisting and churning air as they swivel. With the unbearable heat amplifying his discomfort, days at his seaside hometown pass slowly, thick and syrupy from dawn to dusk.
It doesn’t feel like summer at all.
That all changed the day the shop bell chimed and you walked in.
“Welcome to Soft Serve 13–”
People often say that love at first sight is similar to a lightning strike, fast and purple hot. But there was no purple summer lightning electrifying him, no volcanic eruption setting his heart on fire for Suna.
There is only a great void, white and silent, that descended upon his mind unforeseen; a tsunami that crashes down his frozen body, washing away all sensible thought and bodily functions before leaving him stranded on unknown, pristine shores.
For the next twenty seconds that stretches like a lifetime as he is caught in his first glance of you, Suna is suspended in that void. White sand in his ears, and his eyes sees nothing and everything simultaneously in an ivory world.
(It feels exactly like the moments before a car crash where life flashes by in a white blind)
Suddenly, his hand is freezing hot and Suna is dragged from that sandy void.
“Shit–”
Dulcet chocolate covers his hand, trickling from the melted cone he was supposed to hand to the perturbed, waiting customer in front of him. Uttering a quick string of apologies, Suna sets about serving a fresh cone whilst enduring your barrage of giggles as you wait next in line, his face hotter than summer itself.
The door chimes again, and he is left alone with you in this tiny, humid shop with fans blowing revoltingly loud and you’re still grinning teasingly – blinding – at him. He pulls his stupid pink and yellow cap down over his eyes.
“If mine melts, can I get a free scoop?”
‘No,’ his mind says but his mouth fires off a “Yes.”
He didn’t think it was possible for your smile to grow any wider. Windchimes jingle in the timbre of your pleased laughter, not expecting his answer. “Guess I’ll have to make sure to distract you long enough for it to melt,” you chirp, browsing the display with an impish smirk.
Suna knows right away he wouldn’t mind getting ice-cream all over his hand again if it means you’ll stick around longer.
By the Gods , was he always this much of a chump?
He’s not a casanova (that’s Atsumu’s shtick), but Suna never gets nervous around the opposite sex, and he likes to think he can pull in girls if he wants to. However, between school, games, and volleyball, there was no space for romance in his life yet Suna finds himself pulling and fanning at his collar as he tries to maintain eye contact with you. He’s strangely nervous and it shows in the way he continuously drums his fingers on glass.
Suna never talks to customers beyond what is necessary but he continuously finds ways and topics to keep you around. Usually, he works fast to have all his customers served so that he may return to his phone. Yet, thirty minutes has passed since you entered the store and you’re still standing without a cone in your hand and he’s leaning across the glass, handing you your thirteenth free taste.
In that period, he’s found out that you’re visiting the area with your mother for two weeks, that you’re his age, and attend school in Tokyo. And he’s shared that he’s originally from Aichi but goes to school in Hyogo, is working here for the summer, and this is his uncle’s shop. Favorite music, recommended sights and places, food, hobbies, and a slew of other random tidbits about each other were also mutually exchanged in between.
(He wonders if he can entice you to stay with the other flavors available.)
Another ten minutes later and you finally settle on a flavor, but Suna knows by that curl in your lips that’s been there since twenty-five minutes ago that you already knew what you wanted the moment you stepped foot into the shop.
“I’ll have Rainbow Sherbet.”
He makes a face. “I’m judging you.”
“It’s a good flavor!”
“It’s sour–”
“And sweet.”
“–and leaves this tart, prickly taste in your mouth. It’s terrible.”
“No it isn’t! Here, try some!” You bring a small spoonful to him.
“No–” he swats your hand, “I know what Rainbow Sherbet tastes like. I work here.”
You press against the glass– he’s going to have to clean it of your grubby hand prints later – but he doesn’t mind it one bit when he sees you straining over the display in an attempt to reach him. Honestly, if his uncle saw him now, he’d get an earful for ‘messing and flirting’ with a customer but Suna is unable to stop himself from gravitating towards your hand and the spoon pinched precariously between your fingers.
“Just try it!” you insist.
Suna frowns at your persistence, adjusting his cap with one hand as if he’s about to tell you off. But he tips it up instead, so that he has a clear view of you when he grabs your wrist and leans in to close his mouth around your spoon. His cheeks hollow and Suna sucks the sweet ice with an obnoxious slurp that has him smirking around the spoon and you, gaping.
Zesty lime and sour raspberry goes off like fireworks on the roof of his mouth before melting with a trail of fragrant pineapple on his tongue.
Your eyes widen, clearly not expecting him to do that, thinking that he would at least take the spoon from you first.
To be honest, Suna didn’t expect himself to do that either, especially not with the rapid pace of his heart. It’s worth it though, to see the obvious flush racing up your neck to fill your cheeks. It matches what is on his but he tells himself it’s the heat.
He releases the spoon with a pop but keeps his grip on your wrist. He can’t stop grinning but forces an impudent gag through the stretch of his cheeks.
“Yuck.”
He lets you go, fingers sliding soft on the back of your hand.
The spoon is brandished at him. “You liked it. Don’t lie. I also demand a free scoop.”
“But it didn’t melt?”
You stick your hand out and sure enough, there’s a trail of sticky green and orange running down your arm.
“You took too long,” you murmur, avoiding his eyes. “Could have just eaten it normally.”
Another smug smirk. “Where’s the fun in that?”
The fans are deafening but its winds are cool on his hotter-than-ever skin and lovely in the billow of your dress. The bell chimes and a gaggle of children rush into the store alongside a woman that taps your shoulder with a call of your name. He guesses that’s your mother, wondering where her daughter’s been for almost an hour.
He realizes then that neither of you introduced yourselves.
Your mother leaves and your eyes flicker to the tag pinned to a strip of pink right above his heart. “I will collect my free scoop tomorrow, Suna Rintarou.”
The promise of your return lingers in this tiny, breezy shop, and tomorrow can’t come fast enough.
It finally feels like Summer.
(And he’s on his way to a car crash)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why here? There’s not much to do in Aichi in general, needless to say here.”
You shrug. “We just wanted some place a bit more slow, more relaxing, you know? My mum’s tired of the city and I don’t really mind. She’s paying for everything anyway.”
“Where would you choose to travel though?” He steals a spoonful of colorful ice-cream from your cup and you let him.
“Hmm, I don’t know for sure,” you muse. “Probably somewhere outside of Japan. I’ve always wanted to go abroad. What about you, if you’re not working here?”
He shrugs. “Nah, too much effort.”
“Can’t believe you got scouted for volleyball with that lazy-ass attitude.” You fling your crumpled tissue at him.
Suna catches it and shoots it straight into the bin without moving from his seat. “Work smarter not harder.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two weeks whirl by quicker than a sunshower.
Suna spends it chatting with you during your frequent visits (your hotel isn’t too far) to the store, hanging with you at the beach (the one a stone’s throw away), and texting with you till late night in the comfort of his bed.
Your mother definitely gave him a few looks during the times she came to the store with you. Her flavor of choice is caramel coffee and yours, rainbow sherbet.
He gave her a free scoop once, and now she praises him, “You’re such a good kid,” every time before leaving. You’ll roll your eyes and he’ll give you a peace sign.
He stays in touch with you for the rest of summer break after you leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When school restarts, the two of you are still in contact. You don’t use social media, but you’ll send him photos of your life in Tokyo and he’ll send you links to his posts and stories.
September wind blows and this gradually peters out in autumn as the Inarizaki High Volleyball Club shifts into full gear for Nationals in winter.
[Good luck preparing for Nationals! Maybe we can catch up in Tokyo when you’re here!]
He’s so tired from practice, he tells himself he will reply tomorrow. But Suna forgets, and he does reply, only two weeks later. Yours come in another week. Then his, the week after.
Eventually, rainbow sherbets and the girl he met over summer fades to the back of Suna’s mind, just as the last leaves of autumn sheds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It momentarily crosses his mind to contact you again, two nights before Nationals.
In the rush of prepping for the games and packing for the trip to Tokyo, it slips his mind until he’s standing outside the stadium gates. But they lose to Karasuno, and the message is never sent as he is once again packing to leave.
He suddenly feels like eating rainbow sherbets, but it’s too cold for ice-cream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next time Suna sees you, it is once again in Aichi, in the summer of his sixteenth year.
He didn’t plan on coming back here, but after their loss at Nationals and the rigorous training in the following months, Suna decided he needs a break away from Hyogo and the goons he calls his teammates.
He definitely did not expect to see you again.
The sight of you, fingers waving timidly from the sunlit entrance accompanied by bell-chimes, melts the cone in his hand. A fuzzy, sticky repeat of last year.
He’s in that void again, where everything else seems to vanish and there’s hot sand in his ears, between his toes, warm wind in his stomach running up his throat– déjà vu has never felt more full yet it’s different. It’s the same blank space, only less… empty. Less white. There’s color to the sand this year, and he can hear rustling in trees that weren’t there before, only it’s not the wind but fans.
“What’re you doing here?”
“I had fun here last year so,” you shrug, small and shy, head tucked into yourself. “I asked my mum if we could visit again.” A finger twirls a lock of hair.
Suna’s heart leaps as his mind races, jumping and wondering if it was fun because of him because he remembers how you brought Summer into his August. Even if he hasn’t tasted rainbow sherbets since he last saw you, and cannot remember what you talked about under the cover of night and cotton sheets.
In a close replay of last year, Suna feels rejuvenated with your presence in this tiny, warm shop. The fans are a godsend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He wonders if he should apologize for not responding about Tokyo and his haphazard responses until that point. It’s probably weird to do that now.
You don’t mention it either so he figures it doesn’t matter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I wondered if you would be here, but didn’t think that you actually would,” you say, licking at your rainbow sherbet. Typical.
“Me? I’m more surprised you’re here again. There’s nothing to do here.”
“That’s not true. My mum liked it. She likes that it’s close to the ocean but she can still hop on a train and go shopping.”
Suna side-eyes you with doubt but finds you facing him with a grin. His body naturally turns towards you.
“Besides, you’re here too!” you giggle, meaning nothing more than a joke easily said between friends. His chest thrums all the same and white shores seep into his vision.
Suna flicks your forehead in response.
“Hey–”
“Gimmie a bite.”
“I thought you hated rainbow sherbet!” you protest, but bring your cone up anyways.
“Maybe I’ve changed my mind.”
He grabs your wrist as if to steady the cone and prevent any attempt to smash the entire thing into his face. The way he looks at you, steady and unwavering, from underneath the hood of his uniform cap is telling you something else.
Cracks dance up the cone from where your fingers press tightly into the biscuit, raining crumbs onto the space between your bodies. Suna pulls back and you take a large bite opposite of where he sunk his teeth into yellow.
“Yep, it still sucks.”
His face scrunches and you punch his arm. At least he didn’t gag this time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suna keeps in touch with you regularly through the year, until the following summer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On his seventeenth summer, Suna plans to go back to Aichi again. This time, he knows you will be there because the two of you planned it.
Now that you’re older, your mum is allowing you to travel on your own; she also trusts the ‘good kid’ to take care of her daughter, to your chagrin.
The Miya twins are constantly bothering Suna this year, wondering why he keeps going back to Aichi when all he’s done is complain about how boring it was in previous years– which it is, besides you. They’ve heard about you before though, the girl he met in the summer of two years ago.
“Ya’ know, she must really like ya’ if she’s goin’ all the way there again to visit ya,’” Atsumu comments, chomping on yakisoba bread. Osamu makes a garbled sound of agreement through his food.
“We’re just friends,” Suna says, face straight, but he wonders if you know how the world vanishes into nothing when he’s with you. He feels anxious merely thinking about it.
“Sure, friends,” Atsumu waggles his brows and Osamu nods.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This year, his uncle invites you to join them for dinner at his grandmother’s home.
He’s spotted you a few times over the years, and gives Suna much grief about the girl his nephew's constantly loitering around with outside of work, and during work. He often says with a wink, “I’m paying you to work, not to flirt!”
Suna never says anything in response, only squints his eyes and shakes his head at the older man that acts younger than Suna himself; he knows he does the work expected of him even if he may slack here and there.
Dinner with his uncle, grandmother, and a cousin that decided to join them last minute is a simple yet loud affair.
Suna’s uncle is rowdy with a positive outlook on all things in life; says he chose to open an ice-cream shop because ice-cream makes everybody smile. His grandmother is along in years, silver crowning her demure frame and lovely smile. She absolutely adores you.
“I’ve never seen Rinrin bring a friend, much less a friend, around. You are his girlfriend, yes?”
Suna’s never had miso up his nostrils before but there we go. A first time for everything.
“Grandma–” he groans but says nothing more; doesn’t attempt to deny it, only glance at you snickering next to him. He notes with a little shake of his leg that you didn’t either.
(He’s overthinking, he’s assuming, he definitely is–)
It’s late when you finally leave, and Suna volunteers to walk you back to your lodge before his uncle can offer to drive you. He can feel their grins burning into his back as he puts on his shoes after you, and throws them an exasperated glare before the door closes.
“Your family is really nice.”
He rubs the space between his brows. “I’m glad they live here and not in Hyogo. They’re too much.”
“What are your parents like?”
“Like that . My mum had to get it from somewhere. My father’s quieter.”
You laugh and conversation flows easy as it always does when he’s with you. He doesn’t have to think about anything in particular; colors naturally flow to color the void without his intention. It’s all peaceful, the world vanishing and leaving a blank canvas that’s meant for you to cover with pale cream footprints, and greens, pinks, and oranges.
Night zephyrs slap a leaf onto your face and you throw it at Suna. A splotch of green spreads on the canvas.
You’ve long since walked by your lodge and Suna follows without question, trailing gravel crunching beneath your shoes and the ocean breeze in your hair. The stars are out in full force tonight but the brightest star is next to him, voice shimmering with August life.
His Summer.
The ocean, pulsating in deep indigo, stretches beyond concrete barriers erected on the road side.
Suna watches when you ignore the barrier’s sole purpose and climb onto it, inviting him to join you with the beckoning of your hand and a pat to the empty space next to you; a space he gladly fills.
“You don’t see stars like this in Tokyo,” you whisper, afraid of shattering the quiet seaside.
Suna takes his phone out, wiping at the black of his screen. You tilt your head, asking doubtfully if he can even snap a photo of the stars with that, but it changes to pleasant surprise when he flips the camera and shifts closer to you.
The dim light from a nearby lamp is barely enough to illuminate your features but if he squints and zooms in, barely – just barely –, you can make out the ridge of his nose below glinting chartreuse through prismatic noise. And Suna can somewhat trace your teeth glowing baby blue and the push of your cheeks.
“It’s so shit,” you guffaw, snatching his phone to zoom around your unrecognizable faces.
“It’s natural lighting. None of those disgusting filters you kids like to use.”
“We’re literally the same age!”
His phone is returned, and Suna’s fingers tap on the back of his case as he deliberates, jittery under the universe and you, wholly unaware of his nerves.
In another 3 hours, the sun will rise and when you finally stand, he finds the courage to blurt the words that have been spooling in his head since midnight.
(He wishes for a longer Summer with you)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the nervousness that hounded Suna when he invited you to the local fireworks festival a few nights ago? It’s all gone the moment he sees you in your yukata, the folding fan his grandmother lent you slipped neatly into your obi.
Never mind that you packed one for your trip. “Swimsuits are not the only essentials for a summer vacay~”
So you say. Suna isn’t complaining.
Festivals have never been his thing; it’s hot, humid, crowded– moist . Yet, he looked forward to this one with you. He’s never been to this festival until now, walking next to you with a cooler in his hand.
“What’s in there?” you peek curiously at the box, reaching for the clasp.
Suna lifts the box up high where your grubby hands are unable to grab them.
“Later.”
You pout; long fingers poke your cheeks but later comes sooner than you expected. Sitting on a green picnic sheet that has seen better days, Suna opens the box. A pint of rainbow sherbet beams from a bed of ice, to your great pleasure.
“I thought you hated rainbow sherbet!” you exclaim, heartily accepting the spoon he hands you.
Suna shrugs, struggling to keep his expression even at your simple joy. “It’s alright,” he says coolly, popping the lid off and letting you take the first scoop.
A triple-colored wave curls against your spoon just as the first boom goes off, splashing starlit skies with fiery flowers of red, green, and gold.
The plain skies above white shores he shares with you, too, are filled with bursts of rainbows.
(Perhaps it isn’t purple lightning. Instead, it is a pint of ice-cream between your bodies. Love at first sight is a trifecta of colors, exploding)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
Your jaw drops, not expecting that question from Suna Rintarou. Nonetheless, you pause, and Suna can see the gears churning in your head. He doesn’t know why, but he appreciates that; a certain pair of twins wouldn’t have given him the same courtesy.
When you finally answer, Suna leans in. “It’s hard to say for sure but I probably do.”
“Probably?”
“I mean, I don’t know if it is love at first sight, but maybe more like wanting to know a person more. Way more than other people, right away.”
Your answer, though not bad, makes Suna a tad nervous.
“It’s like discovering a new place, you know?” You nod to the world outside the shop window, sweltering in the unforgiving sun. “I didn’t think I would love this place the first time I came here. Now I’m here for the third year in a row!”
“With this shop or my hometown?” Suna wears a teasing smirk but it feels like he’s about to have a heart attack.
You smile furtively and Suna never gets an answer. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
He very much does.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On your last night in Aichi before you take Summer away with you, Suna unlocks the door to his uncle’s ice-cream shop. He has received express permission to “help yourselves” to a buffet of ice-cream as your farewell gift (until next year).
He’s never eaten so much ice-cream in one sitting before in his life, and likely, neither have you judging by the way you’re massaging your stomach. His own hurts, and the sugar running in his blood makes him want to grab your hand and run out onto the beach.
You groan, poking at the remains of your rainbow sherbet. “Rin~ help me finish this!”
His tongue juts out. “Ew, rainbow sherbet. No thanks.”
“Please! I’m struggling,” you bemoan, listlessly swallowing another spoonful.
Torn between sighing and chuckling at your torment, Suna moves his chair next to yours. His acquiescence revitalizes you, and you immediately bring your spoon up to feed him in a familiar repeat of the first time you met him.
And just like the first time, Suna wraps his hand around your wrist, pulling the spoon– you– closer as he leans in. His palms burn like the mid-August sky over your midsummer skin.
His lips part.
Lime and raspberry. The sour taste makes him squint.
His expression makes you grin, causing the little stripe of green lime on the corner of your mouth to stretch.
It’s that damn stripe’s fault.
It compelled Suna, pulling him beyond the spoon falling loose in your hand to touch his lips on that stripe of green.
A soft taste of lime. Sour. It makes him squeeze his eyes shut, or so he tells himself.
It’s not the hard beating of his heart, the panic that lances him when he realizes what he has done, the fear of seeing your reaction and feeling your mouth tremble against his.
Surprise and nerves, he likes to think, and tells himself.
Suna keeps his eyes squeezed closed, the layer of sweat between where his hand meets your skin palpable as the damning taste of lime on both your lips.
Hours seemed to come and went in the seconds he allowed his hormones and stupid, summery feelings get the better of him and you only sat there, still and silent. Suna still has his eyes sewed shut, and can’t see your expression. He can’t see jack shit and the only thing telling him that you’re still there is the unbroken touch of your lips against his and your shaky, warm breaths.
It was only seconds but it felt like an eternity to Suna, before you finally moved and saved him from his spiraling mind and the awkwardness that was creeping upon him.
It’s tentative, unsure, and Suna wasn’t sure if he imagined it at first but there’s no mistaking the light press back and gods, Suna would have heaved in relief if he wasn’t still connected to you by the mouth, featherlight it may be.
At seventeen, you and Suna shared your first kisses with each other. It was awkward, weird, sticky and tasted like lime. Short. But sweet.
Perhaps rainbow sherbet isn’t as bad as he thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He’s not sure why but in the weeks, then months, following that kiss– unaddressed, unspoken of henceforth– the two of you don’t speak as much anymore. The messages petered out like the end of a summer shower, muggy and uncomfortable, and clings to him long after summer and rain have gone.
The last exchange had been amiable.
‘Good night.’
Yet, it was excruciatingly hard picking it up again as the days slipped by.
The last of autumn’s leaves fall and Suna wonders if it would be strange suddenly messaging you out of the blue. He stares long at the ‘seen’ and timestamp from hotter days.
Gods, he’s seventeen and thinks it’d definitely be lame to do so. Besides, if you wanted to talk to him, you could always message him first too.
And you haven’t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You too, stare at the ‘seen’ and timestamp recollecting balmy days. With cheeks pressed deep into your arms and blankets wrapped tight all around against the encroaching winter, wondering what it’d feel like if it were the arms of a certain ice-cream shop boy instead.
But you’re seventeen and the future is scary and uncertain.
The letter confirming your acceptance to your chosen study abroad program peeks tauntingly at you from underneath stacks of books.
You were happy– still are– when you received the news back in July. You had planned to share that joy with Suna when you met him in Aichi in the summer. Yet, something held you back, kept the words from being spilled even as ice-cream melted and foolish secrets were shared under starry skies and blanket of waves.
You were resolved to tell him and had been prepared to do so on your last night in Aichi–
Then he kissed you. And you kissed back, with surprise and an elated heart.
And you didn’t say anything after that.
Stupid.
It’s all so silly. This crushing in your chest– you want to stay, to visit Aichi and see Suna again. You want to go, pursue your dreams and studies abroad as you have always planned before him and his damn pink-yellow cap ever appeared in your life.
You want more summer days with Suna, and autumn, winter, and spring! You want all the seasons with him, to explore this undeniable attraction but–
‘Good night.’
It’s been weeks since either of you said anything. They always say that if a guy truly likes you, he would reach out no matter what.
And he hasn’t.
You’re going abroad. You already know that, deep in your mind, despite what your young heart longs for.
You’re seventeen and decided that it would be illogical to pursue anything with the ice-cream boy, with the most brilliant, unforgettable set of eyes you met over summers.
And just like that, it was as if neither of you were ever in each other’s lives.
Like fireworks, the two of you splashed and burned brief, shared months and dispersed in wisps of smoke to the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On his eighteenth summer, Suna returns to Aichi again to work at his uncle’s shop.
He has since moved to Tokyo to pursue his own ambitions, but something he wishes to not name pulls him back to his uncle’s shop, like it had every year, for the past three years.
His eyes constantly dart to look at every shadow that passes by the windows, and his head zooms up with every ding of the bell. The days pass slowly, more excruciating than usual, thick and syrupy from dawn to dusk.
You never showed up.
(It doesn’t feel like summer at all)
The bell chimes for what would be the final time for Suna. As the last customer of the summer and the rest of his life ponders what flavor they will have, Suna impetuously stabs the tasting spoon he had been holding into the swirly tub of green, orange, and pink– and takes a bite.
Yuck. Rainbow sherbet isn’t as good as he thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are eighteen and abroad, young and excited.
Yet everytime you come across an ice-cream shop, hear waves and feel the sand between your toes, see the occasional, miraculous starry sky–
From halfway across the world, you are reminded of brilliant yellow eyes and a boy in pink and yellow stripes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On your nineteenth summer, you return to Aichi.
With a thudding heart and hopes and young daydreams of what could be.
Will it be awkward? What shall you say first? Something witty or nostalgic? What will he say when he sees you? Will he be happy to see you?
The bell chimed and none of those mattered when it wasn’t Suna at the counter but his uncle instead.
“Didn’t he tell you? He isn’t returning to Aichi this year.”
“Oh.” Your throat is closing up. “I wanted to surprise him so I didn’t ask him in case it tipped him off–” You rub your neck to alleviate the embarrassment burning hot there and blink multiple times, forcing away the rising pressure in your eyes.
“You silly kids!” Suna’s uncle laughs. “He was here last year but you weren’t! And now you are! Wait till I tell him–”
“Please don’t tell him! He might feel bad if you did, and it was entirely my fault for not checking with him.” In truth, you called but the line didn’t go through. His number has changed.
“You sure? Knowing Rintarou he’d just scratch his bum about it–”
You giggle despite your falling heart. “I’m sure. Perhaps next year.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You return to Aichi again on your twentieth summer. And your twenty-first.
Unlike previously, it was less for the specific purpose of seeing him and more to visit a place, and its inhabitants, that has grown close to you.
But the hope that he would be there never truly died, and each time you entered the ice-cream shop with a full heart close to combusting, that does, inadvertently burst.
For Suna never visited Aichi again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s been four years since Suna last visited his hometown. He is now twenty-two.
In his defense, he presently plays for EJP Raijins and has been incredibly busy with his career; the last few years have been tough: training, press, tournaments, and everything else that comes with becoming an upcoming pro athlete.
His family understands that. Still, it has been a while since he saw his grandmother and uncle; his parents visit him in Tokyo every year. So he’s invited them all to his game this year, fully paid for by him.
Only, in place of his grandmother, he saw you instead when he went to greet them in the hall before the game. There you were, shuffling nervously next to his uncle, looking as if you haven’t changed at all in the last four years, even if you have grown up. The both of you have.
Suna felt it again, the same feeling he had when he saw you all those years ago. It’s faint, dimmer than when it first manifested in his fifteen year old self; a white void, great and silent, cascading onto him. But it’s the same one, he’s sure of it. Because he’s never felt it with anyone else he’s met, and he’s met a lot of people in recent years.
Suna doesn’t know why; it’s illogical, but he supposes that everything concerning this feeling is, though he is reluctant to name it. He’s always thought that, long before it happened to him.
Long before he met you.
“Hi,” you say shyly.
It feels like he freshly emerged from an overtime match when he breathes out, “Hey.”
These two words are all that is said between you before he is marching off to the locker rooms with an empty head– white shores– ‘Hi’s and ‘Hey’s etched in the sand. Suna wants to ram his head onto the lockers for reasons he cannot comprehend.
Seeing you again after all these years…he is transported back to his uncle’s shop, wearing that stupid pink and yellow striped uniform with chocolate dripping down his hand. The EJP Raijins jersey he’s quietly proud of melts away in the face of you, an occurrence he never fathomed.
The void stays when the whistle blows, but he isn’t distracted. On the contrary, the thought of you in the crowd, watching him, sustains the quiet shores inside of his mind and heart; its peace drowns out the cheers.
And Suna played the best he has ever played since he joined the team.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Rintarou, stop being dumb. I thought you’re smarter than this.”
“Uncle, what are you talking about–”’
“You know what I’m talking about! Watching you two during dinner was embarrassing! You barely spoke! Your grandfather’s rolling in his grave!”
“...no one asked you to look,” Suna counters weakly. “And leave grandpa out of this. Have some decency.”
His uncle rubs the palms of his hands into his eyes before carding them through his graying hair.
“I’ve watched you dance around each other since you were fifteen! Especially you, Suna!” he complains then repeats, “Fifteen! I didn’t let you have an ice-cream buffet for it to turn out like this!”
“We weren’t doing anything–”
“Rintarou.”
The serious tone his uncle took on made stops Suna mid-sentence. “She visited Aichi the last three years that you haven’t. She says it’s not to see you but she always asks how you’ve been doing.”
The information stuns Suna. You went back to Aichi? Why didn’t you say anything– oh. He changed his number. Well, why didn’t his uncle say anything?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he inquires.
“She told me not to tell you, says she didn’t want to bother you and that ‘it’s weird.’ You kids and your social taboos. Still, I promised and I don’t break my promises.” He jabs Suna on the chest and adds, “You better not too!”
“It’s why I don’t make promises,” Suna mumbles and swats his uncle’s hand away. “Anyways, there’s nothing to say–”
His uncle lets out a loud, garbled cry of random sounds. “Your grandmother didn’t give her tickets away for you to chicken out! Your parents raised you better than this!”
“I can’t believe even grandma is in on this…”
Strong hands clasp him on the shoulders and Suna is forced to look his uncle in the eye.
“Go and talk to her. Properly. Like an adult.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
knock knock
‘Talk to her or I’ll tell grandma about the things you post on your Instagruel, Instrument– whatever it’s called!’
Suna sighs as he wonders why he never saw his uncle as the extortionist that he is. The man quite literally made him promise, with linked pinkies and all, to go talk to you before the night is over.
Suna doesn’t make promises but he keeps those that he does.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you. But what is there to say? Things weren’t exactly… clear , the last you and him spoke and saw each other, for that matter. He kissed you, you kissed back, and then poof. In modern dating terms, it’s safe to say that you mutually ghosted each other out of sheer– he doesn’t know what on your end– but definitely young stupidity on his.
“Rin? It’s getting late, what are you doing here?” You blink at him, surprise plain on your face at the unexpected guest.
Suna almost smiles at the nickname. It’s been a while since he heard you address him by that. At all, really.
He takes in your appearance, notes your fingers tugging at the hem of your shirt and the drumming of the other on the doorknob. Have you been as restless as he was this entire evening?
“I was wondering if you’d like to go for a walk with me?” Suna winces at his unnatural politeness. It’s you; he’s never this polite with you, not even when you were a customer. It’s bizarre.
There’s a brief moment of hesitance, unconscious, in the way you took a small step back before you’re nodding and asking him to wait whilst you went back inside your hotel room to change.
The winter air is crisp, wind tunneling between the buildings whipping at your figures as Suna leads you around aimlessly. Truth be told, he had no idea where to go or what to say.
“How have you been?” You break the ice.
Right, that’s a good place to start.
“I’ve been good. You?”
“I’ve been good too.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“Yeah.”
Suna wishes a truck will run off the curb and hit him now. His fingers are freezing off in his pockets and somehow they’re still sweating.
This is absolutely terrible.
A ray of hope cuts the grey path ahead, and Suna manages to peel his eyes away from his shoes to gaze upon his salvation–
Oh. It’s an ice-cream shop.
The irony isn’t lost on him. You don’t miss it either, for you peek up at him shyly, scratching at your cold cheeks, and ask, “Do you want to get any? For old time’s sake.”
When he nods, you turn and lead the way, grabbing the handle and missing how Suna stops following you just shy of the shop’s awning. He prefers to quickly rip the bandaid off.
“What happened?”
“Huh?” You look over your shoulder, confused. “What do you mean?”
Suna buries his face into his scarf as if to hide the burning ridge of his nose. “That night… you kissed back,” he mumbles. He has to force himself to look back at you, to discern and verify the rapid changes in your expression as you look for an answer.
Surprise, self-consciousness, bashfulness, nervousness, nostalgia–
“I–,” you clear your throat, the shop light shining like a beacon on your blushing skin, “I did.”
“Why did you kiss me back?” he addresses the giant, tri-colored elephant that has been slumbering in the back of his mind for years.
You sputter. “Why are you asking this all of a sudden? It was so long ago.”
“Tell me.” Suna persists, taking a step forward with narrowed eyes, pushing for a reason, an excuse, to justify the cloudy feelings he has been harboring for all these years and now jostled up by your unannounced appearance in his life again.
He’s not mad, he doesn’t not want you here, but the lack of closure for his young feelings, your reaction, and the lack of events that followed all those years ago isn’t pleasant. It leaves a muddy clog in his chest and quite frankly, he dislikes it. There was so much left unsaid and unexplained; perhaps he should have let it go and Suna thought he did. Until he saw you again.
And Suna knows, he just knows, that you feel the same way as he did.
Why else would you come see him play? Why else would you go back to Aichi the last couple of years?
Why did you two simply drift apart?
He’s so close to you now that he can see the perspiration beading on you, feel your warmth radiating and seeping into the folds of his clothes. You refuse to meet his eyes, looking here and there and everywhere but him right before you. Similarly, his heart is beating so loud that he’s sure you can hear it.
“Tell me.”
“Because I liked you! Okay?!” You finally cave, admitting with eyes squeezed tight. It reminds Suna of how he too kept his eyes closed as if his life depended on it when he first kissed you.
“Then why didn’t you say anything!? Why did you stop responding?”
“Don’t try and pin it on me. You didn’t contact me any further!”
“Neither did you!”
“Well, you changed your number and didn’t tell me!”
“That’s because I thought we’re no longer speaking with each other!”
You’re both breathing fast, hearts and emotions rising, and Suna glimpses the shop staff staring in concern through the glass. He deflates with a sigh and steps back before the staff misunderstands the situation and calls the police.
The streets of Tokyo are rarely silent yet somehow, this little area in the big city is exactly that. There’s only the sound of distant cars humming like waves on distant shores, and the muted chatter of people buzzing like summer cicadas; it reminds Suna of the times he went on late night walks with you along the beaches of his hometown.
You slap your hands over your face. “Oh my god…”
He snorts and laughs in turn at the incredulous conversation that took place. It doesn’t take long for you to peek through your fingers and join as well, chortling in disbelief.
“We were fucking dumb ,” he states.
“In our defense, we were young.”
“Still dumb.”
“Yeah, we were.”
An embarrassing silence follows as you stare at each other. Sunca can see the gears in your head churning, processing the revelation that the two of you had been, well, dumbasses for years. He can empathize, for his brain hurtles through the same process.
You break eye contact and look down at your shoes, scuffing them against concrete. “I guess there’s also another reason why I was hesitant to contact you after,” you begin mumbling, and Suna reflexively curls his hands into fists within the confines of his pockets.
“Yeah? Besides being a teenager incapable of communication?”
“It’s a better reason than that!” you pout furiously, head sinking into your scarf. “I was going abroad. I have been abroad, the last few years. College.
Suna whistles, sincerely impressed. “Nice. Where at?”
“Irrelevant. I’ll tell you later,” you brush off his question to continue your explanation– reasoning– to why you stopped contacting him.
Suna watches intently as you take a deep breath, idly noting how the ice-cream store staff are still staring at your figures with too much curiosity and intensity, the shop door failing to completely mute his conversation with you, bits and pieces filtering through the little vents at its foot.
One male staff even holds a cone in his hand, watching the scene unfold as if this were a movie. The man takes a long lick, eyes all the while glued on your figures.
“That night when you– we, well, you know–” you stumble over your words and Suna finds not much has changed; you were still as bad at communicating your feelings as you were at seventeen. You clear your throat of the clogging shyness, “At that time I already knew I was leaving Japan as soon as I graduated. I planned to tell you but then you–”
“I kissed you,” he supplies plainly.
“Yes. And, well, there didn’t seem to be a good moment to tell you after that,” you finish softly. Regret isn’t the right word to describe your feelings in this moment, reflecting back on that summer night and the next four years without closure. You do not regret ever following your aspirations abroad, especially not over a boy in your youth. You weren’t that dumb. However, you admit that you could have handled it better, communicated it, talked with him– “I should have handled it better.”
“Yeah, you should have.”
A disbelieving gasp leaves you, head whipping up angrily to tell Suna off but the teasing grin that greets you has your anger easily deflating.
Suna understands. He really does, because he would have done the same thing in your position. Had he known you were going to leave the country, would he still have kissed you? Probably, only because his body moved on its own that night. Though it doesn't mean he forgot the flutters, the want, whenever he was with you back then. It’s not too far off from what he’s feeling in the present; it’s dimmer, but it has grown, matured with him in age. He’s no longer as jittery and blinded by white shores.
He’s grown. You’ve grown.
“I should have done better too.”
A cloak that has long rested on the depths of his heart– of gray clouds and why’s, unnamed yet felt, ignored but not forgotten, existing as surely as he does breathes– lifts the moment he utters these words. He feels revivified– released, of this midsummer memory that has crawled into his mind countless times in the minutes before sleep takes him (his brain has a penchant of replaying it for him unbidden at 2am). Suna shudders to think that had his family not invited you to his match, he and you would have continued on with your lives carrying overcast hearts caused by something as silly as simply being teenagers still learning and growing.
Judging by the smile dimpling your cheeks, Suna knew you felt the same.
He nods at the shop door behind you. “We should probably go inside. That is…if you still want to?”
Your answer comes in a shy smile burrowing into clothes and a blast of hot air that his chilled body welcomes. The shop bell chimes and you are both transported to past summers and the first time you met in a wave of nostalgia.
Suna hasn’t gone to an ice-cream shop since the last time he worked for his uncle, having subconsciously avoided them in the shadow of his volleyball career as an excuse; your love for ice-cream shops developed because of many days spent at one with a special boy, and many more visited over the years in reminiscence and perhaps regret.
“There’s a buy one free one scoop deal for couples.” The male staff, the audacious one from before, announces when you reach the counter.
“Oh, we’re not–” you begin but Suna nudges you sneakily.
“Pick whatever flavor you want, honey. My treat.”
You had been his first love at first sight. And likely, you are the last.
Because Suna thinks that people who fall head over heels for someone at first glance are fools. Love is something that is grown into, to be slowly nurtured with time and dedication. To his logic-based brain, the entire idea of smashing head first into love at a glance is ludicrous, like a bad car crash where you never see it coming until it's too late.
He knows because he’s experienced it. Both the unexplainable, ridiculous butterflies sprouting into existence the moment you stepped through the door and into his life, and the subsequent 7 years it took to nurture it.
There was no car crash however, only teen folly and human imperfection.
You glance up at him with a cheeky grin as you answer, sing-song and all-knowing.
“I’ll have a rainbow sherbet.”
“Yuck.”
“It’s a good flavor!!”
An expression you’re not sure you have ever seen Suna make before lights his face for but a transient second. It’s one of those laughter-smiles, all teeth with wide lips and wrinkles accompanied by tuneful joy. Suna knows it too because the muscles pulling at his cheeks are unfamiliar, straining wider than he usually lets them in his side smirks.
“In that case, two rainbow sherbets please,” he tells the staff. He can feel your gaze pressing onto the side of his face with a question unspoken, and this is when Suna brings out his infamous smirk.
He takes both cones and turns to you with green, pink, and orange in the palms of his hands. A trifecta of colors.
They say that everyone becomes a believer of love at first sight when it happens to them. Well, Suna rightly doesn’t know.
All he knows is that, instead of purple lightning striking, there was only a void filled with empty white shores whenever he saw you; it didn’t matter how many times or how long in between. All Suna knows is that the world fades away in the presence of you.
As he hands you your cone, Suna sees colors dyeing the white shores below his feet once more.
And Suna knows he will do it right this time.
#suna rintarou x reader#suna x reader#haikyuu x reader#suna rintarou x you#suna rintaro x reader#inarizaki x reader#hq x reader#suna rintarou#suna x you#hq!! x reader
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TTPD Notes - The Manuscript (Pt. 2)
TTPD Notes Glossary
"Down Bad"
Recorded June 2023
There's a call back to 1989's "New Romantics" where she says, "Please take my hand and / Please take my dancing and / Please leave me stranded / It's so romantic." In this song, she says, "How dare you say it's romantic / Leaving me safe and stranded?"
Since she didn't meet Matty until after 1989 came out, if this callback is a clue to the muse, then it's not Matty. It's Harry.
Also, doesn't that just sound more like a Harry Styles sentiment? ("You're better off without all the additional intense spotlight on you right now") than something fucking Matty Healy would say? Barf. God, I really just can't stand that guy.
Additionally, Matty ghosted her, per “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived,” he didn’t give some somber-eyed “loml” explanation
ANYWAY, it's obviously not about Joe, because she left Joe, and this muse left her. So, if not about Matty and not about Joseph, who else is left?
Why would Harry say it’s over? Because he had met Taylor Russell? Because he was mad about Matty?
The alien abduction metaphor reminds me of the “eyes like flying saucers from another planet” comparison from “Snow on the Beach.” But, as you may recall, those eyes are aurora borealis green.
The line "They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you" is also really interesting to me.
Do some people think Taylor talking about Matty on this record is nuts? Probably. But I think it's more that the public is surprised by her choosing him in the first place, not that they don't believe it happened. While they dated for only like, four weeks, they did date. So, I wouldn't say people think it's nuts for her to talk about him. Those rebound situationships hit you hard.
But, on the other hand, if she were still talking about an ex from a decade ago, who a lot of people erroneously believed she'd only dated for three months? Now that ... that some people might think she was crazy over.
“But Daddy I Love Him”
At first blush, I really thought this one was about her being mad at the fans over their reaction to Matty; and maybe she revisited the tune a bit during their fling and it is partly about that. But...after multiple listens, and timeline-ing, and re-watching her sing “Sad Beautiful Tragic” at Arlington N1 and the little speech she gives before it. (“And when I love something, I don't really care what the feedback is—so I didn’t really check..”)
I think she got some flack, like major flack from her family and/or her team for having Harry show up at the tour. Maybe somewhat unannounced? And she wasn’t having it.
Speaking of her “wild boy” who might have been in attendance that very night…
The woman who named a song “Style” certainly is cheeky enough to know some of us would catch the “But Daddy I Love Him” T-shirt reference.
“If all you want is gray for me...” because the opposite of gray is, say it with me now, “screaming color.”
“Fresh Out the Slammer”
I would bet good money this was written, if not recorded, pre-Eras Tour. Was she seen in the studio at all in mid-March 2023? I know she wore the Conway Recording Studios merch while rehearsing for the tour around then.
Aside from pointing out the references to “the girl of his American Dreams,” and “the park where we used to sit on children’s swings wearing imaginary rings,” I don’t have too much to say here, other than this song makes my heart bleed.
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Yeah.. So I'll have to watch Alice In Borderland soon too. Maybe not right at this moment. But I will have to pay attention to certain details just in case too.
So apparently certain characters have the different counterparts from the manga and show, and if they do have different counterparts.. That's so annoying.
For starters. There was also a Dodo character in the manga, that was never adapted in the show so even that could be a character for someone to write.
Apparently... Heiya's character would be the March Hare in the manga, but so many fans speculate that she is actually the dourmouse in the show though.
Apparently... Aguni's character would be the Knave Of Hearts in the manga but so many fans speculate that he is actually the march hare. And a very small percentage of fans believe him to be another types of counterparts that aren't even that fitting to him.
Niragi's the Jub Jub Bird in the manga.
So that gave me a fucking migraine thinking about this. If this is true.. That's fucking annoying to me.
I'll have to look over the list of characters in AIW so I could see what might inspire me the most, for what type of characters I might want to have in the story.
So far.. One romantic ship might be with either boy, Chishiya or Niragi. But I'm not really sure who it can be yet. Because I do like both characters. And Arisu and Usagi might stay together. And depending on if I have any male character since I don't know yet. If I have only female characters, maybe some would be queer. Maybe a ship with either Kuina or Ann? But I might not completely sure yet. I'm still just thinking what could happen with some romantic ships since there isn't that many character I'd ship anyone with.
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Protecting her modesty is still protecting her so it's an action that would not surprise me if Rocky did it.
Kizzy's other way of blackmail. Obviously she would never show anyone because she's not that horrible.. Especially towards Rocky's girlfriend because Kizzy actually likes her. But the thought of her being even the slightest bit exposed with cause Rocky to be so easily blackmailed. Besides the handcuff blackmail.
Yes. That's exactly what I was thinking for the whole scale.. In that order. Which doesn't surprise me too.
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Gangster need to find new projects to work on, just so they aren't working on redeveloping businesses.
- 💋
i’ve already watched two episodes today and i just. god. it’s so good. it’s so good. i love this show.
first of all, karube’s hot as hell. literally the hot one in the friend group. sucks to suck, arisu and chota. something has to be said about how i have zero attraction to arisu, but have thought kento was hot in like. some photoshoots.
and idk if it’s just me but chota and shibuki make me so uncomfortable. like the way she was touching him and looking at him and then she sleeps with him. i just. bleugh. it feels like the gender swap version of some older manipulative creep dude hitting on a virginal naive younger girl.
also i’m so gd right in saying karube would be aguni’s favourite. there was literally no reason why karube couldn’t be the ‘bait’ in the tag game when aguni and jin (the other militant in the game) were trying to lure and kill the horsehead tracker. jin could’ve been in karube’s place, he was already aguni’s gd teammate! but aguni let him die and then fought to protect karube. he didn’t even snatch away the beach radio when he could have! he so wanted karube to find the beach! iirc aguni even asks about karube when arisu shows up at the beach!!! he liked the guy right off the bat!!!! we were robbed of karube + aguni interactions!!!!!!
the dodo character was merged partly into arisu and heiya. a bit of a shame since apparently he was a bit of a fan favourite from the manga.
i’ve seen heiya compared to both the march hare and the dormouse, so i’m not sure about her either. i guess it wouldn’t be too uncommon to double up on wonderland characters, since i’ve seen people call last boss and yaba ouki the jabberwocky equivalents.
i still can’t see aguni as the knave. he fits better as the march hare.
definitely fits that niragi would be the jubjub bird if last boss is the jabberwocky.
i’m slowly developing my two as i watch the episodes again. the dormouse more than the card soldier, because i’ve already written a couple of fics for the card soldier so. he’s all good as is. i do already have some basis for the dormouse since this is my third time revamping her, but i am switching up a lot from her last iteration because i was re-reading her fics and just. hmm. don’t really like them actually. need to overhaul a lot of her. so she’s got a new fc and name too.
i can really only see ann and kuina as queer idk why. ann especially gives me lesbian vibes. kuina i could see as being bi, but definitely some kind of wlw. and trans obvi.
~
i feel like rocky is also private with his affections because it could be seen as a weakness he has otherwise? if that makes sense? like if his enemies knew there was someone he cared deeply for - more than the other rascals and the heaven girls - then that would be trouble for both him and his girl? so rocky keeps his romantic relationship under wraps for her protection.
kizzy would tease rocky about it. like to joke around with the other rascals and poke fun at him and try to embarrass him. just regular lil sister teasing.
yea it seems a bit obvious in retrospect. cobra and rocky are the private types, smokey and takeshi don’t have a lot of privacy in nameless but they know some places, and murayama and hyuga are a bit further on the perv scale.
~
gangsters get some power and control and money and go ‘i need to do some kinda city redevelopment’. like bossman actively has control of most - if not all - of gangnam but it still trying to expand across korea.
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REVIEWING AND CHARTS: 17/12/2022 (SZA’s ‘SOS’, Christmas Garbage)
“Last Christmas” by Wham! is back at #1. I’m not complaining, it’s a classic and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!
Rundown
I figured this would be a short episode but there’s actually a decent amount to cover here. Most of that is found in our bizarro batch of new arrivals, but first – as always – we need to start with the notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. As with all Christmas weeks, we’ve got a pretty hefty list, including “Alone” by Burna Boy, “Snow on the Beach” by Taylor Swift featuring Lana Del Rey, “Ghost of You” by Mimi Webb, “Celestial” by Ed Sheeran and some big ones – “CUFF IT” by Beyoncé, “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)” by Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal, “3 Lions” by David Baddiel, Frank Skinner and the Lightning Seeds, “I Ain’t Worried” by OneRepublic and finally, “All for You” by Cian Ducrot.
All of our highest-charting Christmas songs are in the top five, and there are 13 in the top 20 alone, with “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl making it to the top 10 at #9, surprisingly late this year but it has been an early breeze in terms of holiday music overall. In terms of those returning to the top 75 for the first time this year, we only have two and they’re both dreadful: “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud at #71 and “Let it Snow!” by Michael Bublé at #68. We also see a return for the vaguely festive-sounding “Until I Found You” by Stephen Sanchez at #72, partly because of the remix version with Em Beihold going viral but I also think it just sounds like a Christmas song. In terms of notable gains outside of our Christmas classic, we see boosts for “golden hour” by JVKE at #67, “Christmas Drillings” by the Sidemen at #41 off of the debut last week, “Shirt” by SZA at #36, thanks to the album, and that’s pretty much it.
The top five on the UK Singles Chart this week consists of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee at #5, “Merry Christmas” by Ed Sheeran and Elton John at #4, “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake at #3, and of course the duo of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” at #2 and “Last Christmas” at #1. It’s a good top five but it’s also hardly current... and funnily enough, the same could be said of our new entries.
NEW ARRIVALS
#75 – “A Holly Jolly Christmas” – Burl Ives
Produced by Milt Gabler
It really is disgraceful that Michael Bublé’s version of this song first charted in 2015 and peaked at #24 in 2020, yet this is the first time the original has ever even charted in the top 75. Well, at least we’ve got the 1965 classic charting this week, and whilst it’s technically not the very first version of the song written by Johnny Marks, it’s the canonised version that always does well this time of year in the US, being a common top 10 hit there. It deserves it too, being the theme song to the Rankin/Bass TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and having about as much cheer as that special, with the infectious chorus ding-dong-dinging the refrain, iconic guitar riff and Ives’ rich, jolly voice just giving off all possible Santa Claus vibes. The scratchy acoustics may have not aged as well, and it’s pretty one-note, but it’s way too optimistic for me to have many negative opinions. I mean, come on, it’s Burl Ives’ “A Holly Jolly Christmas”, are you going to complain when this comes on?
#74 – “Together This Christmas” – Maisie Peters
Produced by who cares?
I like some Maisie Peters songs but not nearly enough for me to accept her audacity in making an Amazon-exclusive Christmas single, connected to a soundtrack from an Amazon-exclusive film. At what point is dystopia not a looming threat and instead just the present day? This isn’t even a cover, it’s an original track so this just feels like a dick move to the fans, and sure, it’s on YouTube but it’s not on her channel and it’s not on Spotify or Apple Music. This is our first of two this week and like always, I took some suggestions.
Callum suggested “This is what it feels like” by Norwegian singer Amanda Tenfjord, and I’m sorry, Callum, but I kind of hate it. Sure, there’s some genuine swell with the strings, even if they feel really inauthentic and compressed, but with Tenfjord’s very typical smoky indie girl voice not even having the weight to it that most have, all of that goes out of the window. The song even starts with the only trick in its book of boring climaxes, so it’s just a bit disappointing when I realise that the song has nothing really to say other than some unnecessarily wordy verses and platitudes of love. Maybe if I were in love, this would mean something but since I’m not, I can’t tell the difference between this and any given mid-tier Coldplay track. I hope the song she represents Greece with at the Eurovision Song Contest is better than this or at least more unique.
Jade, as you’d expect, suggested “Black Mascara.” by RAYE and I’ve known of this for a while but was surprised when it didn’t end up charting. It’s awesome – it may not be as ambitious as “Escapism.” but the atmosphere is solidly witchy in a way that may be a bit on the nose but perfectly fits the unfinished nature of the song, which is actually a compliment here. Half the lyrical ideas feel like broken half-sentences in RAYE’s inner struggle to come to terms with what this man did to her, which is kept vague but feels sinister. Considering that the production is echoing and sporadic amidst the pulsing house groove, it reads much less like a story but instead a view of RAYE’s mind at a particular moment, with the listener kind of having to fill in some of the narrative details, especially since RAYE spends her entire rap verse essentially just drowning in her insecurities and deflecting over a sparse blend of synths before it once again delves into that velvet drop. I’m honestly more excited for a RAYE album than I figured I’d ever be, I love the growth and I’m hyped to hear what comes next.
#66 – “Jingle Bells” – Sam Ryder
Produced by—wait a second
“Jingle Bells”? You are pay-walling “Jingle Bells”? Seriously? I guess with a #1 album that charted zero new songs, you’d resort to such absurd strategies. Anyways, Piran suggested “If We’ll Ever Be Remembered” by Martin Garrix featuring Shaun Farrugia, a song from the DJ that starts with a surprisingly raspy and acoustic folk guitar alongside Farrugia’s Chris Martin impression, before succumbing to a swell that his strained falsetto can’t exactly match. The weak, bendy synth that tries to replicate the guitar just sounds terrible, especially when Garrix tries to place some weight against it with the bass beat in the drop. If Tenfjord is mid-tier Coldplay in their pop rock mould, this is like when they did songs with Avicii. In fact, if I didn’t know the writing credits, I’d assume this was written by them. That’s not to say that this is all that awful, but that synth tone is really annoying and nothing outside of it is unique enough to make it tolerable. Sorry.
Finally, Jade also suggested “Emotions” by Ella Henderson, a completely fine pop song. I like the breezy indie guitar that undercuts it, even if the loop feels a bit drowned out by Henderson’s echoing vocals, and the motivational content about emotions getting in the way resonate... but the drums don’t hit that well, and it all feels a bit too calculated to actually have those emotions come through. In fact, the percussion is my main issue, as they are so stiff for a song that should be more driving and may need a tempo shift upwards – any drum and bass producers could really get on this and make something special. I like the little details like the backing harmonies in the second verse and post-chorus that deserve a less compressed mix than this, but I’m not over the Moon about it.
These suggestions may have not been as good as last time, but they can’t all be winners, and I appreciate everyone who gave suggestions to further my silly little protest against Big Bezos. If you want less silent protesting, just wait until next week... it’s a lot.
#57 – “Bloody Mary” – Lady Gaga
Produced by DJ White Shadow and Lady Gaga
I’m going to take a guess and say this is not about the mother of Jesus, though it’s not entirely separated from Christianity so I guess it fits the season. This album cut from Lady Gaga’s 2011 album Born this Way has gathered some viral attention on TikTok because of course, and here it is on the chart. It’s a bit less wholesome than “Holly Jolly Christmas”, mostly because Lady Gaga is preparing herself to play the Mary Magdalene to her man’s Jesus Christ and be close enough to him that it’s complete worship, even calling Pontius Pilate, who killed Jesus, “Punktious”. I’m not super religious so some of this falls on a deaf ear, even if I sense some parody or irony considering Gaga’s never shied away from romanticising the rebel – or the Punktious – but it’s still a killer, grimy electroclash track with gurgling, oily vocal loops and a flat, dated clap that feels as loveably cheap as 2010s EDM-pop could get – especially those album cuts you don’t remember. Even with the really infectious chorus, the post-chorus screech and the incoherent breakdown with Gaga vocalising over Gregorian chants of “Gaga”, I didn’t really see how this became a thing on TikTok because of its kind of slodgy and absolutely not 2022-sounding production, but because it’s 2022, and on TikTok, there’s a nightcore version. At least Gaga hasn’t made it official – that always bothers me. Oh, and there’s a connection to the new Addams Family series with Jenna Ortega, so I guess nightcore versions of avant-pop songs by ground-breaking women released at least a decade ago featured in Netflix shows about teenagers are just the oddly specific trend. The original is genuinely great and whilst I honestly can’t see it sticking around in any way bar maybe making its way into the Halloween canon of songs, I’d love to see it have a little run. It’s already debuted high, so I wouldn’t put it past it.
#48 – “50s” – Headie One
Produced by Kyle Evans and Tyrell 169
Like on most weird weeks, once we get higher into the chart, the new arrivals get a bit less interesting, and considering that we just have this and two album cuts from SZA, it feels like a pretty standard week from here on out. You almost wouldn’t know it’s Christmas – though there’s a Winter feel to them at least. This new Headie One single relies on a pretty cheap-sounding loop that’s pretty lazily sequenced on a drill beat that goes for unique in its finger snaps and funkier bass, but it ends up not having either bounce or violence and losing most of the appeal that drill should have. With more focus on those choral vocals, this could go for atmospheric sample drill, or eschew drums entirely even because Headie One gives a career-best performance on a pretty mediocre beat, yet when everything drops out for the piano-lead second verse, it sounds cold and dramatic, and Headie’s honest lyrics about his place in the industry and scene resonate as well as they can. His first verse has some funny turns of phrase too and the typically menacing delivery undermines them in the best way because it increases the replay value – half of the jokes you won’t really catch, like him getting culture shock visiting Ghanaian relatives, thoroughly roasting his “opp” in a very specific way that’s pretty funny if not all biting and my personal favourite: saying that the people he deals too liked the heroin but are like Nigel Farage because they prefer cocaine... since it’s white. It’s been done before, but I’ll never get sick of that kind of bar. As is, I really wished this was a good beat, though honestly the experimental nature of it may end up growing on me. Headie’s great on this, and I figured this would be exemplified by a remix with a better beat but there actually IS a remix with scruz. It’s called the “headiokart” remix and replaces the beat with a house beat that sounds like it’s from the Nintendo 64... it’s awful, but in a comical way that I genuinely couldn’t stop laughing about. I’d almost recommend it.
#27 – “Nobody Gets Me” – SZA
Produced by benny blanco and Carter Lang
SZA has released her newest album SOS, and it’s likely to be #1 in the US, hit #2 here in the UK, and has two new debuts... but I didn’t listen to it. Sorry, if I get the time for 23 tracks, I’ll update, but other than the singles – two of which I liked, one of which I didn’t – I’ve only heard “Forgiveless” with Ol’ Dirty Bastard purely out of curiosity and I did like the dusty sampling and SZA’s commanding lyricism, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m prepared for 67 minutes of it. Apparently there’s a grunge song featuring Lizzo so I’ll check that fascinating concept out after this episode, but I’m not sensing grunge from what actually charted, I’ll say that. This seems to what she’s pushing as the single, given the video, and it’s really serviceable. I like her earnest delivery in a song that’s a pretty pleasant love song, but it may be a bit too much as it gets into cooing on a frankly sickly acoustic guitar melody. I know that the song is about a failed engagement, and she’s still longing for that relationship, thinking that nobody will take the place of that guy in any of her future relationships, but with the harmonies that feel kind of pasted on instead of implemented into the song, and the mantra of the chorus, it’s not exactly hard to lose yourself in the frankly boring atmosphere than to pay attention to those lyrics. It does annoy me when a song that can go into detail and tries to ends up with a more universal chorus to sell, and we could have really used a bridge for variation or some intensity, but considering how deflated the song is, I don’t hear any stakes and I’m not really interested as a result.
#15 – “Kill Bill” – SZA
Produced by Carter Lang and Rob Bisel
This is the opening track bar the one-minute introduction, and I like this a lot more. The sinister beeping keys open the track before that overwhelming, dusty funk groove comes in, with some of the most organic sounding basslines in R&B laying a foundation for the dissonant chorus wherein SZA plays with the sing-songy inflection whilst also saying that she might just kill her ex so she doesn’t think about him anymore. The content mirrors the film as she tries to reckon with yourself about the morality of the whole thing, whether she should act on love or selfishness, with a toxic possessiveness that may alienate some people but sounds venomous on this almost Wall of Sound production. These murderous intentions eventually get realised as the chorus changes and the bridge elaborates that she did this all sober and didn’t need anything to influence her to just outright kill him – AND his girlfriend – which does put into question how “sober” one can really be amidst heartbreak. I do wish it was a bit less unmoving, even if that would break up the nonchalance of the song, since a bit more tension would make the final chorus pay off a lot better, but it’s good as is.
Conclusion
Best of the Week goes to Burl Ives for “A Holly Jolly Christmas”, and since we’re not including Amazon original songs, I’m basically down to four to pick for the other categories. I suppose Lady Gaga gets the Honourable Mention for “Bloody Mary”, but it should be telling that the older songs are out-shadowing the new crop pretty hard. Worst of the Week goes to SZA for “Nobody Gets Me”, even if my main problem is just it being boring and on the edge of good rather than actually bad, and the same goes for the Dishonourable Mention, which goes to “50s” by Headie One. Seriously though, check out that remix. As for what’s on the horizon... well, I’ll say thank you for reading and next week, we see what the Christmas #1 of the UK Singles Chart of 2022 ends up being. Given that LadBaby’s contesting, there’ll be at least two – or three – familiar names and faces. It’s the most important chart of the year, so let’s hope it makes no sense. Top off a bad year with a bad case of the “I have no idea what is going on” disease. See you next week!
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jeff wittek imagine where the reader and jeff go on vacation together like to vegas or miami???
Holiday
Summary: Throughout your mini holiday in Miami with your boyfriend Jeff, he realizes just how special you and your relationship are.
Word Count: 2.3k
Warning: Tooth rotting fluff, mention of alcoholism and Jeff’s accident
A/N This is also inspired by KSI’s song Holiday!
I wanna wake up every mornin', feelin' better
'Cause I know you're sleeping by my side
And every moment we're together
I remember just to keep it all for you and I
Jeff’s brown eyes slowly open, being awoken by a crying baby that was a few rows behind you two. He lets out a yawn before looking over at you who were fast asleep on his shoulder.
Something that not a lot of people knew was that Jeff hated flying despite being a certified skydiver. Ever since he was younger he was never a fan of flying, only now he was a bit more comfortable with it due to his experience skydiving. Nevertheless his initial nerves after waking up quickly wash away just from being in your presence.
Wanting to capture this seemingly perfect moment, Jeff slowly grabs his phone out of his pocket without disturbing you and takes a quick picture. As he analyzes the picture his heart swells at how at peace and comfortable you looked sleeping on him and in one of his sweaters. The two of you were extremely tired from catching a red eye flight to Miami so no wonder why you both fell asleep.
Saving the picture Jeff puts his phone away and slowly opens the blind of your window seat. The rising sun shines into your row, the rays illuminating your face making your features and long lashes more prominent. The purpose of the trip to Miami was to watch the Logan Paul vs Floyd Mayweather fight. In fact you were ecstatic when Jeff told you he got you guys tickets to the event since you grew up watching boxing with your family and you were a huge fan of Mayweather. With that being said you had no idea how close the tickets Jeff got were to the ring.
Jeff’s breath hitches as he admires you. He was so in love with you and was so excited to see your reaction to being ringside. As Jeff softly moves some stray hairs out of your face he realizes everything he does is for the benefit for not only you, but your relationship as well. It was you two against the world.
I see that body in the sunlight
Feelin' the heat and it feels right
I wanna do this for the rest of my life
“I know you guys are dating and all, but you seriously need to stop staring before you sink the boat with your drool.” Mike Maijlak says walking over to Jeff’s side and handing him a La Croix.
Jeff booked your mini holiday to last a few days before and after the fight which gave you guys the opportunity to explore Miami and let lose. With that being said neither of you were going to turn down Mike’s invite to join him on a yacht to party. So there you were talking and dancing with some girls you knew from LA while sipping on a La Croix.
Jeff lets out a laugh while opening one of his favourite drinks. “I can’t help it man, just look at her.” He says taking a sip of the bubbly liquid while continuing to admire you from afar.
The Miami sun that shined onto your skin paired with your infectious laugh, seemingly gave you a golden glow that made you standout. Not only that, but the bikini that you were wearing flattered your body type so well.
After feeling as if someone was staring at you for the past few minutes you finally turn and look around the boat to find the owner of the eyes that were on you. Quickly your eyes find Jeff’s brown ones and you realize it was just Jeff staring at you the whole time, causing heat to wash over your body at his gaze.
You shoot him a smirk and wink in return before turning back around to continue your conversation. A smirk of his own falls upon Jeff’s face as you do so, along with a light shade of pink on his cheeks.
“You’re so whipped.” Mike laughs shaking his head, finally speaking up after watching the whole interaction.
“Well I wanna be whipped for her for the rest of my life then.” Jeff says without realizing how big of a statement that was while his eyes remained on your beautiful figure.
Oh, I know, I know, you know the vibe
I wanna stay with you every night
You and me underneath the lights
I'm always good when you're by my side
I know, you know you're on my mind
You really make me come alive
I wanna be here for the rest of my life
“Jeff look at my hands I’m literally shaking I can’t believe we’re this close!” You exclaim while glancing between your boyfriend and the boxing ring in front of you.
“Only the best for you doll.” He says sending you a wink while laughing. For the past hour and a half as you two watched the undercards you continued to gush about your seats making Jeff happy to see you happy.
Without wasting another second you roughly grab Jeff by his green shirt and pull him in for a passionate kiss. Just before the brunette could immerse himself into it fully you pull away. Some of your lipstick was smudged and Jeff knew without a doubt he had some on his lips, but he didn’t care. In that moment it truly seemed as if you two were the only ones there under the rings bright lights and in an arena full of screaming fans while you two stared into each others eyes lovingly.
Your attention on your boyfriend is torn away when the already loud arena becomes even louder as Mayweather starts to walk out. Quickly you start to cheer for your favourite boxer while jumping up and down and clapping excitedly. Jeff glances between you and the boxing legend before his gaze finally lands on you.
You look over at your boyfriend with a smile that was from ear to ear. “It’s Floyd fucking Mayweather!” You exclaim pointing over to the undefeated boxer entering the ring.
A smile washes over Jeff’s face as he laughs at your excitement. You truly resembled a child in a toy store. Seeing your excitement only made Jeff more excited, causing him to join in on cheering for Mayweather despite being friends with Logan.
There was no one else Jeff would rather be with to witness the fight and this thought only made him realize he wants to be by your side for the rest of his life.
Looking for sun rays, needin' them good days
Fly me away-away, you're my holiday
Cool like the ocean, lost in emotion
Fly me away-away, you're my holiday
Whenever you're here it's a good time
Strawberry shirts in the sunshine
Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight
You're my holiday
Whenever you're here it's a good time
Strawberry shirts in the sunshine
Ice-cold drinks 'til the moonlight
You're my holiday
The next few days after the fight was a whirlwind, but in a good way. Despite having a good time underneath the Miami sun and it’s nightlife Jeff wouldn’t be having as good of a time if you weren’t there. You truly made the trip for him, making the sunny days that were good for his mental health even better and the dreary days full of life from your infectious positivity and smile.
You let out a loud laugh as you and Jeff wrap your arms around each others, mimicking a toast before brining your drink to your lips while your boyfriend did the same. At the same time you two sip at your virgin drinks while maintaining eye contact with each other in the close position. You gulp down the rest of your cold drink despite it being alcohol free before untangling your arm with Jeff’s and ordering another at the outside bar.
Over the past four years of knowing Jeff the two of you created a special connection that no one in your friend group had with each other. And that was being sober. Jeff turned to alcohol after his break up with his ex girlfriend while you on the other hand turned to it to deal with the death of your mom. To say you were there for each other was an understatement. When the temptation to drink was too much Jeff would call you up and the two of you would go on late night hikes and talk about everything and anything, and vice versa for you. There was always a mutual pining for one another, but neither of you acted on it due to how broken you both were at the time. However, as the years went by your feelings only intensified along with Jeff’s. Though it wasn’t until a few months after Jeff’s accident when he took a leap of faith and finally confessed his feelings to you after realizing how short life truly was.
Jeff places his glass on the bar as well, placing his hand on the small of your back while looking around the crowded club that was partly inside and partly outside. Once you get a refill of your drink you turn around sipping on the paper straw, your back leaning against the bar causing Jeff to redirect his attention back to you.
“You look beautiful.” He says looking down at you in his arms.
Heat washes over your face and Jeff’s smile widens at how flustered you still got after all this time together. He loved showering you in words of affirmation and he meant every thing he said to you. Although, you always look beautiful the way the moonlight reflected off of your skin made you look angelic. It was a great contrast to you earlier in the day at the beach wearing a strawberry printed bikini that made Jeff feel a certain way.
“Thank you baby you don’t look too bad yourself.” You say placing a soft peck on Jeff’s lips before pulling him towards the dance floor.
I wanna stay up 'til the mornin' with you talkin'
Just to listen to the things you say
And every time we're in the middle of the city
I imagine us so far away
The two of you sat down in a booth with Mike Majilak and Logan Paul at a random Denny’s that was in between your hotel and the club you four were previously partying at. By now the jet lag and the numerous activities you and Jeff participated in was starting to catch up to you. However, that wasn’t apparent to anyone other than Jeff as you talked the boys ears off while eating.
“We’ll see you guys later! And once again Y/N text me when you’re free to film an episode of ImPaulsive.” Logan says as him and Mike get out of the booth, placing money on the table and getting ready to leave the restaurant.
“Of course!” You exclaim before picking up your lemonade and drinking what was left. Jeff bids his goodbyes to the two influencers and once they leave you quickly rest your head on his broad shoulder, letting out a loud sigh.
“You okay doll?” Jeff asks placing his hand on your thigh.
“Yea just tired.” You say kissing his neck and placing your hand on his cheek. Similar to Jeff you were able to pick up on the energy of situations and that affected how you acted. So once Mike and Logan left you felt as if you could finally wind down from their partying aura.
A comforting silence falls upon you two and your eyes slowly flutter close as the rising sun shines in through the Denny’s windows. As cliche as it sounded Jeff felt as if it was only you two in the quiet breakfast place. The brunette rests his head against yours and his eyes follows your lead by shutting close.
The two of you remain in this position for a few minutes, cherishing not only the first quiet moment of the trip, but also the little moments you two shared.
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, you're my holiday
Scratching at his eyes and stretching Jeff slowly and quietly gets out of bed, the sun filtering in through the hotels curtains and onto your sleeping body. You looked so peaceful and he didn’t want to disturb that. Once you guys returned to your hotel room from a night out partying and a very early breakfast at Denny’s the two of you instantly fell asleep.
Jeff glances at the analogue clock on the bedside table which read 2:34pm before he slips on a pair of pants and a t-shirt. Making sure to not wake you Jeff grabs his phone, wallet and room key then quietly leaves your shared room. However, before he leaves he makes sure to place a gentle kiss on your forehead and whisper to you how much he loves you.
Throughout the trip he was constantly reminded of how much he loved you. You helped him through some of the darkest times in his life and after all this time of knowing and being together Jeff finally knew what he had to do.
Remembering a shop that was a few buildings away from your hotel, Jeff quickly walks over to it wanting to be back before you woke up. The Staten Island native hands become clammy as he approaches the store, his tough guy persona seemingly crashing down with every step he took.
The bell above the shops door dings as Jeff walks in causing a sales representative to walk over to him with a welcoming smile.
“Good afternoon how can I help you?” She asks. Jeff takes a look around the quaint shop and all of the glass casings before redirecting his attention back to the worker.
“Hi uh yea, I was wondering if you guys have any engagement rings?”
#jeff wittek#jeffrey wittek#jeff wittek imagine#jeff wittek fluff#jeff wittek angst#jeff wittek smut#jeffs barbershop#jeff fm#jeff wittek x reader#jeff wittek x you#mike majlak#logan paul#fic recs#vlog squad
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Azula’s Luck At Love: According to the Fandom
Is it only me and @mydelusionpanda that have noticed how often the fandom seems to ‘accidentally’ portray Azula as though she’s asexual? And like she’d want to spend the rest of her days taking care of her brother’s child? I ask because, I don’t think any other character from the show is portrayed that way to a greater or equal extent.
I personally think Zuko could be read just as much if not more as asexual than her (though I don’t think either of them were intended to be interpreted that way). Yet I’ve never seen a fanwork where he helped raise her child/ren. (I did once find a video where a fan made a theory that Izumi is Zuko’s adopted daughter and Azula’s biological one, which he raised when she was unable to do it herself. I guess because she relapsed?)
I don’t think it’s wrong or anything, to be asexual or read her that way. But every time I see yet another fanwork where Azula is with Izumi, but has no child or partner of her own, I get this very disappointed, even defeated feeling. Did people watch The Beach episode and take that to mean that Azula actually is hopeless at love because some bum-bottom, spoiled beach jock was scared of her enchanting flames (that he should have been amazed by as a Fire National!)?
Do people actually think she’s considered unattractive in-universe even though she’s said to be so many amazing things by Lo and Li, called attractive twice (once by Lo and Li in front of a huge audience of cheering Fire Nationals in the same instance that they presented her and Zuko and talked highly of her), is a MFing princess, and outside The Beach, is implied/stated both in and outside of the show, to be considered the perfect little girl (unintentional Powerpuff Girl reference!) and adored by many? What could be behind this impulsive urge to represent her this way?
My guess is that’s it’s a combination of the usual sexism and misogyny (because no woman that goes outside the realms of gender stereotypes is worthy of love, according to some portions of fandom); the hidden need to use other characters to prop up one’s fave’s story; typical ableism that says no one (especially not a female) that implies in anyway s/he struggle with something mentally should even think about starting a relationship until that person is in his/her 60′s;
wanting to write Azula as ‘selfless’ and capable of a domestic life like everyone else, but assuming it has to be tied to those the show framed as being ‘the good guys’ and people she ‘wronged’; feeling personally threatened by the idea of a women of Azula’s tier being able to find love (since she’s already ‘perfect’ she has no right to be any more happy) and thinking she needs to be brought down a peg; and other reasons that I may think up later.
The reasons aren’t random, but that’s precisely why this is upsetting to me to see so often. Azula is a person. People are imperfect. Some people have trouble with love the first few times (Chan may have been her first time near a boy that wasn’t her brother and her first kiss!). Some people have trouble for years before they finally rectify the issue and either decide they’d rather be in a healthy relationship with themselves (this is fine!) or just aren’t interested and only want friendships or to be solitary (also fine!).
Some are partly the above, then try again one day and that time around it works out for them. Azula is still young, she has so many years ahead of her, so much to experience and learn. Must we write her off as unworthy of romantic prospects too, just to make her subservient to those from the show who were closest to her in another, more covert fashion?
(And fwiw, there’s an entire subreddit that exists solely for explicit art of this girl. Like it or hate it, it’s clear that a lot of people irl do find her and her personality (whether they understand her or not) to be very attractive.)
#Azula#ATLA#Questions for fandom#Sexism#Misogyny#Ableism#Struggling people find love too.#character-centrism#fake healing/redemption#Azula is not your bully#She reminds me of a spinster in these fanworks.#Spinsters are amazing women#They've always existed and deserved rights and respect#But Azula doesn't have to be one#ATLA Romance#ATLA pairings
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On Allegory, Imperfection, and Inadvertent Subversion: A small essay about Akimi Yoshida’s Banana Fish and Salinger’s “A Perfect Day For Bananafish”.
In the story of Banana Fish, Yoshida references Salinger’s short story “A Perfect Day For Bananafish” (which henceforth shall be addressed as “Perfect Day” simply for ease of reading) several different ways, both in-universe and out. It is exceedingly evident that the character of Ash Lynx is heavily based on Seymour Glass, and one might surmise that Banana Fish is an allegorical retelling of “Perfect Day”, especially given that in the original story, Ash Lynx dies of what is arguably a “passive suicide” – that is, when faced with an injury that isn’t immediately fatal, he chooses to bleed out rather than seek help, which when framed as a suicide, parallels the much more violent and sudden suicide of Seymour Glass.
However, this surface-level allegorical reading ignores a very important variable in the story of Banana Fish, namely the counterpart to Ash’s Seymour: Eiji’s Sybil. While Ash and Seymour share many similarities (both are traumatized, troubled geniuses with partly-Irish roots who grew up in New York City), the similarities between Eiji and Sybil are very few. Eiji does symbolize a world of innocence to contrast with Ash’s world of horrors, but unlike Sybil, Eiji is an adult with agency of his own, and though he retains some of Sybil’s childlike innocence and is able to connect deeply with Ash as a result of it, Eiji’s agency and decisions ultimately change the narrative and its meaning.
That is to say, by introducing Eiji as an imperfect Sybil, one who has agency and can actually provide Ash with understanding and support of the kind that Seymour never got from Muriel or others around him (and which Sybil, being three years old, was in no way equipped to provide), Banana Fish directly subverts “Perfect Day”’s original message of cynicism in the face of a material world unconcerned with the horror of lost innocence and its resulting isolation.
To understand what this means, it’s important to first understand the meaning and context of “Perfect Day” and the circumstances in which it was written. “Perfect Day” is a story written first and foremost as a critique of American materialism in the wake of WWII; Salinger echoes the concerns of the Lost Generation before him, in a way, by really driving home the alienation from modern adult life felt by those who were exposed to the horrors and traumas of the battlefields in wartorn Europe, only to return home and find a culture completely removed from it all. Seymour Glass is a stand-in for Salinger himself—Kenneth Slawenski, in his 2010 biography of Salinger, notes that on returning from the European theater, Salinger “found it impossible to fit into a society that ignored the truth that he now knew.”
If that sounds familiar, good, because it should! This is precisely the motif of “Perfect Day” (as well as some of Salinger’s other work featuring members of the Glass family, such as Seymour’s younger brother Buddy, which, as an aside, is a name that might stick out to Banana Fish fans. Whether this is an intentional reference or a coincidence, I can’t say for certain, but given the depth of other references within this allegory, I’m inclined to think it’s intentional).
As a quick summary for those who may need a refresher, “Perfect Day” is a story about a deeply traumatized man who feels isolated from the rest of society because of the weight of the horrors he has been exposed to. Muriel Glass, Seymour’s wife, is the epitome of this: she represents the materialistic culture that Seymour feels so alienated from, always talking about brand-name things and luxuries and upward mobility. Seymour rejects her company in favor of playing the piano for children and spending time on the beach, where he tells three-year-old Sybil Carpenter a story about bananafish, fish that gorge themselves on bananas in holes under the sea until they’re too fat to escape the entrances to these little banana dens, and then they die. Instead of dismissing this story as something bizarre, Sybil claims she sees a bananafish in the water, which endears her to Seymour, until she leaves, at which point he returns to his hotel room and shoots himself in the head.
In “Perfect Day”, this interaction (between Sybil and Seymour) is the center of a set of dualities. Sybil represents the state of childlike innocence that Seymour longs to return to, and because of her innocence, she can “understand” him in ways that the material adults like her mother or Muriel do not. Seymour’s isolation is a product of his society and the lack of support and understanding for traumatized veterans returning from war, and it shows in the way that adults his age cannot connect with him, and he cannot connect with them. This disconnect between worlds is what eventually results in Seymour’s suicide—he can fit neither in the world in which he wishes to be, nor in the one in which he must reside, and it ends in his death.
The question is, then, how does this relate to Banana Fish?
As mentioned previously, Ash Lynx is a very clear parallel to Seymour Glass. He’s a young man faced with immeasurable trauma from which he believes he can never recover, and there is a clear motif of duality in his entire character arc: his world (one of violence and trauma) versus the “normal” world (where innocent people who have “regular” lives may reside). Like Seymour, Ash feels trapped in a world he can’t escape, knowing “the truth” that he knows, about the horrors that people are capable of.
It follows, then, that Eiji Okumura is a parallel to Sybil Carpenter, who represents childlike innocence and a world that Ash longs to be part of but can’t reach. And to an extent, this is true: Eiji is sheltered and innocent, comparing real-life to TV shows and being completely unexposed to kidnappings, drugs, guns, and violence. However, there is a sharp contrast between Eiji and Sybil, one that fundamentally changes the relationship between Eiji and Ash and makes it radically different from that between Sybil and Seymour:
Eiji is an adult, and as such, he has agency of his own.
Unlike Sybil with Seymour, Eiji can make his own choices and face Ash as an equal. Where Sybil is a child who runs back to her mother after playing with Seymour at the beach, Eiji actively and consistently chooses to stay with Ash, over and over. He even explicitly tells Ash “you are not alone”, which is a huge and direct contrast to the message of inevitable, devastating isolation from “Perfect Day”. Whereas Sybil’s innocence serves as a reminder to Seymour of what he’s lost and cannot regain, Eiji’s innocence is a beacon of comfort and companionship to Ash. Eiji is someone with whom Ash can relax and be playful like a boy his own age, as noted by Max and Ibe watching them interact.
This communication and connection are present between Sybil and Seymour, but in a very different way. Seymour prefers to play make-believe and tell silly stories to kids, because he went from being a wide-eyed innocent to being traumatized and longing for a place to belong, and Sybil as a child represents what he wishes he had, while the adults around him (most notably Muriel, his wife) are a world he doesn’t understand that feels false.
This is not the dichotomy of worlds that Ash faces. Ash faces a world of trauma and suffering that he sees himself as trapped in, and a world of peace and security that he thinks is beyond his reach. Where Seymour yearns for a return to innocence, Ash yearns to escape his pain, and the combination of this subtle difference with the effect of Eiji’s agency and the narrative structure of Banana Fish results in a subversion of the themes in “Perfect Day”.
Banana Fish is a long-form narrative, while “Perfect Day” is a short story. Part of the inherent structure of a long-form narrative is character growth and development, which for obvious reasons is much less prominent in short stories. As a result, Eiji’s impact on Ash is clearly visible over the course of the narrative, and it becomes impossible to declare that Ash is firmly rooted in the world he sees himself as trapped in. By the end of the story, even Ash wavers on this assertion; although he ultimately succumbs to suicide, a narrative choice that been criticized ever since its publication, in the moments leading up to his stabbing, he does believe that Eiji is right, or at least right enough that he wants to see him one last time (this is ambiguous and open to interpretation, of course).
Why did this narrative choice spark so much controversy and outcry from fans? Not every story that ends in tragedy is criticized as poorly written for it; examples range from Shakespearean tragedies to “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”, a film in which the entire cast dies in the climax. Yet just about all fans agree that it fit the narrative. Clearly, then, it is possible to craft a story that ends in death and tragedy but still feels well-written. What makes Banana Fish different?
I would argue that the answer lies in this imperfect allegory. By creating a Sybil-esque character that can interact with the Seymour-esque character as equals, can stay with him, and can listen to him and support him through his grief and pain, Akimi Yoshida inadvertently turned “Perfect Day”’s message on its head. The tragedy of “Perfect Day” is Seymour’s isolation. By giving Ash a warm, compassionate relationship in which he is assured over and over that he is not alone, Yoshida upturns this entirely.
Ash is led to believe in this dichotomy mostly by his isolation. He believes that since Eiji is in mortal danger as a result of being special to him, he needs to send Eiji to safety, i.e. somewhere far from him and far from the reach of those who would hurt them both. This isn’t a miscommunication issue or anything of the sort; this is Ash being afraid for Eiji’s life; Eiji isn’t averse to returning to Japan itself. Eiji is averse to returning to Japan without Ash, as he mentions when he talks about how Ash could be a model, and tells him about kami. In establishing this as a consistent tenet of Eiji’s character, Yoshida ensures that Ash is not isolated in the same way that Seymour was.
In addition, Eiji can move freely between both worlds set up in Ash’s perceived dichotomy, a motif made explicitly clear when Eiji leaps the wall to freedom and light at the beginning, leaving Ash (and Skipper) behind in captivity in the dark. Despite this escape from the world of violence and crime, Eiji returns of his own volition and stays with Ash, experiences his own fair share of horrific traumas, and still leaves in the end to return to his world. This makes it clear that the dichotomy is less stark than Ash is led to believe, unlike the repeated validation of his isolation that Seymour receives, and is another reason that the ending of “Perfect Day” is inconsistent with the ending of Banana Fish
A quick sidebar: Banana Fish has no real Muriel, but if pressed, I would posit that the closest parallel to Muriel that exists is Blanca, whose main purpose in the narrative seems to be to reinforce to Ash that he can’t escape the world he feels trapped in and longs to leave. But where in “Perfect Day” Muriel symbolized the materialism of American society after WWII, Blanca has no real established reason to be so invested in keeping Ash down, and in conjunction with the fact that despite his own traumas, he can retire peacefully to the Caribbean, his role in the story falls to pieces entirely. Where Muriel represented a lifestyle that Seymour fundamentally could not reach, thereby reinforcing his isolation, Blanca is supposed to parallel Ash to a degree, but his words to Ash do not match his actions whatsoever.
Therefore, if anything, Blanca’s assertions serve only to strike a contrast with Eiji’s (and Max’s, to an extent, since Max and Eiji both agree that Ash can escape this and they want him to heal). Moreover, Blanca’s relationship with Ash is that of a mentor and a student, a relationship that is shown to be fundamentally unhealthy, given that Blanca willingly worked for Ash’s abuser, a mafia don who he knew trafficked children. Some argue that Blanca was blackmailed into this service, but given that Blanca chose to betray Golzine at the end and work with Ash with seemingly no real provocation or change in his relationship with Golzine, this supposition seems flawed. Blanca’s assertions about Ash and his ability to forge bonds and leave his world the way Eiji does, and indeed the way Blanca himself does, are simply incorrect, and the narrative itself provides us all the tools we need to realize that Blanca is wrong, even without the extended context of a parallel to Muriel Glass.
Returning to the main issue at hand, i.e. that of the imperfect allegorical connections between Sybil and Eiji, and the dichotomy between worlds that Ash perceives, it’s clear that in creating a positive, nurturing relationship between Ash and Eiji rather than a one-off encounter, Yoshida inadvertently created a story about connections rather than isolation. Ash’s attempts to keep Eiji safe from harm by sending him home are countered by Eiji’s assertion that he only wants to go to Japan if Ash comes with him, which is a kind of selfless devotion that reaches through Ash’s isolation until he decides that he won’t try and separate himself from Eiji anymore, which is a massive blow to the dichotomy of his supposed two worlds. This is the narrative acknowledging that both worlds can coexist.
Not only this, but also Eiji, who has his own trauma—he’s kidnapped several times, shot at, drugged, sexually assaulted, attacked with a knife by a drugged friend, exposed to several deaths, shot at people in fights himself, and ultimately nearly killed by a gunshot wound—despite all of this, Eiji is still allowed to exist in the world of peace and regularity. Eiji’s innocence is sharply tempered by traumatic experiences, and he can still walk between worlds. If Eiji, Max, Ibe, Jessica, Sing, Cain, and Blanca can all experience traumas, why is Ash the only one who cannot escape? Is there some kind of magical bar of “too much” trauma, like an event horizon on a black hole?
Obviously, no.
So it comes to this: Essentially, the reason that the ending is so controversial, and why I personally believe that the open ending of the anime is an improvement to the original story, is that the allegory between Banana Fish and “Perfect Day” falls apart because of Eiji’s agency. Ash wants to protect Eiji, and to protect Eiji’s innocence and light, because he feels that it’s beyond his own reach, but Eiji forges a bond with him that is rooted in mutual respect and care, and in doing so, undoes the devastating, painful isolation that led to Seymour’s suicide. This is why Ash’s death can feel so hollow—it doesn’t follow the pattern of “Perfect Day”; after the entire story is about Ash’s bonds and those who love him unconditionally, it feels almost like a shock-value plot twist tacked on, rather than a tragic inevitability.
I don’t believe that Yoshida intended Banana Fish to be a subversion of “Perfect Day”. I believe she meant it as a one-to-one allegory, and this is why she kept the ending as Ash choosing death. However, due to the changes in themes because of the characters and their relationships, Ash is not isolated in the profound way Seymour was, and his death is therefore not nearly as impactful.
#this is 2600 words i am so fucking sorry but also im not sorry im just verbose#banana fish#banana fish meta#asheiji#ash lynx#eiji okumura
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Longing for You | JJ Maybank
Okay guys, here goes! First fic for outer banks with none other than my future husband JJ Maybank. God, look at him what a cutie!!!! <3
Requested: Nope
Trigger warning: Little bit smutty (mentions), foreshadowing of abuse but other than that a whole lot of good vibes only
Word count: >2k (went a bit over the top with that one oops)
Everybody in the pogues seems to be bood up except for JJ and Y/N which have been crushing on each other for ages but are too afraid to take the next step. Maybe some healthy competition will do the trick...
Waves crashing on the shore, warm sand under your feet and the summer sun shining while you sipped on a can of beer. You decided life could definitely be worse. It was just another summer day for you and your friends on the outer banks.
Kiara had worked on a killer mixtape the past weeks and you were currently enjoying her musical genius while relaxing on the beach.
John B was dancing with Sarah, the newest addition to your group, to some song from the Neighbourhood and you had to admit they were disgustingly cute together. The others were quite skeptical at first towards the kook princess, mostly because of Kiaras attitude towards her.
Back when Sarah and Kiara had broken things off you were the one to catch Kie and she introduced you to the other guys, which were quite happy to not only have Kiara back but also a new addition. Which honestly quite surprised you since you belonged partly to the kooks as well just like Kiara.
But you had to admit it, Sarah was the sweetest girl you’ve ever met besides Kie. And all in all your squad was more in synch with her. John B had Sarah and Kie and Pope had that weird thing, nobody talked about, going on and then there was JJ.
You had a crush on JJ since the first time you laid eyes on him. How could you not with his gorgeous blue eyes, blonde surfer hair and that charming humour of his.
But things with JJ would never happen, you knew each other too well. A little flirting here and there was to be expected when all the friends in your group had the hots for each other.
You wondered whatever happened to the no pogue on pogue macking rule.
“Who wants a hit?” JJ asked and pulled you out of your train of thoughts by offering his joint to the rest of the group.
Kie happily accepted and sighed with the first drag before handing it to you.
“I’m good thanks,” You declined and showed the beer can you were currently sipping on.
“Oh c’mon sweetheart a little blunt never hurt nobody,” JJ laughed and tried to encourage you. Pope just rolled his eyes at his remark.
“If I’m drinking it does though. Or need I remind you of last weekend when you were nearly passed out because you mixed it up and I had to drag your ass home?” You raised an eyebrow at JJ, recalling the events of the weekend before and watched him turn a deep red.
“Shots fired, bro!” John B. laughed as he took the joint from Kie’s hand and took a drag himself.
“Actually yes please do remind him because I don’t think he can remember a thing.” Pope grinned at his friend who got visibly more embarrassed.
And god you were glad JJ couldn’t remember a thing. Because the stuff he said to you that night weren’t things you wanted to get into. Sure, Kie had always sad that JJ had a thing for you but he never made a move. Only ever small flirtations or stupid things when he was drunk or high or both. And that wasn’t enough to risk your friendship.
“Oh it’s fine J Bae, happens to the best of us,” You winked at him and felt quite smug using your private nickname for him.
His cheeks were still a bit rosy but you saw a smile sneak on his lips when he looked at you.
“But not to Y/N apparently,” Sarah commented and saluted you with her own beer as soon as she nestled in between John B’s legs.
“Well not everybody can hold their liquor like Y/N,” Kie agreed and gave you wink. She knew well enough of some evenings where the both of you were too drunk to even walk a straight line.
“Oh c’mon, I can definitely drink more than Y/N!” JJ argued and got up, clearly in a mood to prove himself.
“You wanna bet?” You argued, biting you lower lip and leaned back in the sand while looking up at him through your lashes.
You saw JJ’s Adam’s apple pop as he swallowed hard looking down at you.
Sweet Jesus, he looked heavenly with the sun behind him surrounding him like a halo. More than anything you wished the two of you were alone so you could have your way with him.
“Guys if you drink all of our beer I’m gonna strangle you,” John B warned with his dad authority.
“Oh kinky, I like it,” JJ joked and gave JB a coy look.
You couldn’t help thinking if that would really be something JJ would be into but the thought quickly vanished when you remembered the bruises you had seen more than once all over his body when he came back from a few days home.
He never told you anything about it, just joked around but you were pretty sure there was something hidden below the surface.
“Who says they have to drink all the beer? Let them just chug one and see who’s faster.” For that argument from Pope he quickly got a slap on the arm from Kiara.
“Ouch, why?” He complained but Kiara just shook her head while you giggled at Pope’s obliviousness because she didn’t want to support JJ getting drunk once again.
“Fine by me.” JJ grinned at you and stretched out his hand to help you up.
You took his offer but as he pulled you up abruptly you stumbled a bit and were soon pressed against his chest.
His arm grabbed around your waist to steady you and shivers went down your spine at his touch. You looked up into his baby blue eyes and watched them wander all over your face before they landed on your lips.
“Not so steady after all, are we Y/L/N?” He whispered and his breath fanned your face, that’s how close you were. You also realised that your hands where on his naked chest.
Being this close to JJ did things to your body you couldn’t understand and it drove you absolutely crazy. You realised you were staring at him and the others were staring at the both of you so you tried to quickly regain your composure.
You moved one of your hands slowly up his body and around his neck as you pulled his head down.
“Eat shit, Maybank,” You whispered in his ear, grazing it lightly with your lips, before releasing him.
JJ’s smug smile from before was replaced with a slightly shocked and kind of aroused expression on his face. That gave you enough satisfaction for now, to know that you could have that kind of effect on him.
You thought you heard a little ‘fuck’ escape him when he turned around to get you two beers.
You looked over at the others who had all witnessed the little scene. Kie and Sarah gave you excited glances and thumbs up whereas the boys looked utterly confused and bewildered.
“Well let’s do this!” John B got up and clapped his hands together before standing in front of the both of you.
“I’ll count to 3 and then you start chugging and whoever finishes first has to put the empty can above their head to demonstrate it’s really empty.” He explained.
“Yeah, yeah we’ve got it, it’s not our first time,” JJ said impatiently and popped his beer open.
“You’re going down,” You warned the boy in front of you.
“On you? Anytime sweetheart,” He retorted with his usual charm and the thought alone threw you off a bit.
Concentrate Y/N, you’ve got this.
“1…2…3!” JB counted down and you began chugging while the others cheered. The carbonic acid made it hard for you to swallow fast but as JJ said this wasn’t your first time.
In 5 seconds you had downed your can and put it over your head where only a single drop fell onto your hair. You screamed with joy as you saw JJ finish just behind you.
“YES!” You shouted and did a little happy dance as JJ looked at you perplexed.
“You know, I’m not even mad that was seriously hot,” JJ admitted in defeat and bit his lower lip while he stared at you. Once again you wished the others would just leave right this second.
“Well I guess we know who’s more badass,” Kie commented and grinned at you.
“Hey just because Y/N can chug beer faster than any frat boy on spring break does not mean she’s more badass then me,” JJ pouted and tried to regain some of his lost pride.
The way he looked right now was just undermining his statement at the moment though since you couldn’t believe how cute he was.
“It does though,” You disagreed and patted his cheek lovingly. A smile quickly made its way onto his lips as he looked at you. More than anything you just wanted to kiss him.
Maybe it was the alcohol that made you think like that but you knew better than that. You had wanted JJ for ages now.
“I want a rematch,” JJ suddenly said and turned you around, his arm around your waist and his chest pressed against your back.
You had no idea where this confidence in touching you suddenly came from but you liked it.
His right arm sneaked across your shoulder and he pointed towards a cluster of rocks a few feet in the ocean.
“Whoever reaches the rocks first wins the grand badass competition between you and I,” He announced and giggled at his pompous accent.
“I don’t know how that proves that I’m more badass than you but sure,” You agreed, never one to back down from a challenge.
You were also pretty sure that JJ in his intoxicated state forgot that you were captain of the swim team and were usually working as a life-guard during summer. It was really not fair but there was no way you could let him win, he would never shut up about it.
“You guys, I swear just fuck already,” You heard John B murmur as he positioned himself between the two of you to give the start sign.
You chose to ignore his comment as you got ready but not before slipping out of your clothes and leaving you in the tiny swimsuit you were currently wearing.
You saw JJ stare out of the corner of your eye and heard Sarah whistle behind you which made you laugh.
“Wouldn’t want to ruin my clothes or slow me down,” You explained nonchalantly and watched as Kiara and Pope were getting out cash probably betting on the winner.
Once again John B counted down to three and you started sprinting into the water and swimming for your life. JJ was close you knew that, he was a fast runner and had an advantage the first feet.
But you couldn’t let yourself get distracted so you pushed yourself onto your very limits until you felt the rock under your hand and climbed on top of it.
JJ didn’t even come out of the water as he watched you, out of breath, as you victoriously waved to the others on the shore. From afar you could see that Pope gave Kiara his money with a sour gaze.
“Who’s more badass now, J Bae?” You laughed and sat down on the rocks in front of him and watched him swim in-between your legs.
“You distracted me, that wasn’t fair!” He argued and let his eyes wander over your body.
You felt hot all over as his gaze swept over you and at the view of his head between your legs.
“Distracted hm? Why would that be?” You giggled and leaned forward to jokingly grant him a better view. He inhaled sharply and realised he was staring at your boobs a little too late before his eyes drifted to yours.
“At least help me out of the water,” He pleaded and struck out his hands. But as you reached out for him and were about to hoist him up, he pulled you into the water with him.
You screamed because of the surprise and clung to JJ’s shoulders to hold onto something.
You don’t think the others on the beach even noticed as they went back to their own business and were distracted.
“You are insufferable!” You complained and got the wet hair out of your face as you clung to JJ with one arm and he had you secured with an arm around your waist.
You were definitely both sobered up by now, thanks to the cold water and exercise.
“Well, at least we know who’s stronger,” JJ commented and his second hand grabbed your waist as well.
You were practically naked, chest to chest and only the ocean between the both of you. The ocean and the fear of rejection as you looked between his lips and his eyes.
“I’m still more badass than you,” You giggled and your hands moved up his shoulders to his neck like the most natural thing in the world.
“Would you just shut up?” JJ grinned and pulled you even closer to him if that was possible.
“Make me!” Was the last thing you whispered before JJ’s lips crashed onto yours.
He wasn’t timid and didn’t hesitate but kissed you passionately like he had waited to do so for weeks and was finally allowed to. And you kissed him back just as feverishly as your hands tucked on his blond hair and your legs locked around his waist.
He bit your lower lip softly and a moan escaped your mouth which only made him grab you harder, one of his hands now on your butt.
Kissing JJ was igniting a wildfire, like the most dangerous and reckless thing in the world. But it also felt completely right, like the stars all had aligned just for that moment.
After a long time the both of you caught your breath and simply stared at each other.
“That was…” You began but couldn’t find the right words. How do you even describe the best kiss of your life?
“It was,” JJ agreed without you having to say anything, he understood. “So… I wouldn’t mind this becoming a regular thing.”
You looked at him shocked, not because you didn’t want it but because there were so many other things to think about.
“I wouldn’t either,” you agreed “but let this be our little secret for now. I don’t want to give the others the satisfaction of being right all along.” You could practically picture Kie’s little happy dance by mentioning this to her.
“Agreed!” JJ laughed and pecked you on the lips one last time before swimming back to shore.
You grinned the rest of the whole day and ever so often sneaked flirty little glances and touches with JJ that drove your heart crazy.
#jj maybank#jj fanfiction#jj imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj x reader#outer banks netflix#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#John b#john b routledge#kiara#pope heyward#sarah cameron#jj smut#jj fanfic#by poguesforlife
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Seeing Their Crush Half Dressed
Kim Hongjoong:
Hongjoong was lost for sure. He didn't understand why. As an idol, he should remember his way backstage where they hold the Music Bank performances.
"Fuck......where is it?"
He scratched the back of his head, trying to remember where Ateez' waiting room was. He kept walking until he finally reached a door that he felt was familiar. Without thinking too much he opened it and widened his eyes. It definitely wasn't his waiting room. It was your group's waiting room and you were currently in the process of putting on your stage outfit. You both just stood there, too stunned to say anything.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry Y/N-shii! I was looking for my dressing room!" He finally found his voice.
You simply chuckled and quickly threw on your shirt.
"Stop the formality, we're friends you know. I'm glad it was you and not someone else who bursted in."
Hongjoong let out an awkward laugh before saying sorry again and closing the door. Once alone, he face palmed himself and dragged it down his face.
"Hongjoong you stupid idiot!"
Park Seonghwa:
Seonghwa just wanted to watch his currently favorite drama that he was hooked on. Except the 99 liners decided to hog up the tv and he was mad. Then he remembered you lived right next door. Why not just go over and watch it with you? It gives him time to spend time with you as well. Win win situation if you asked him.
He texted you and you of course told him to just walk in. You underestimated how long he'd take though, and he came faster than you thought. So when he walked into your living room, you were still in your workout attire, and it wasn't exactly much either.
"I brought you the gummy bears you-"
Seonghwa sucked in a breath when he saw what you were wearing, his mouth dropping as he stared at your body.
"What?" You asked as you took in his reaction.
He simply pointed to your clothes.
"I was exercising. Geez no need to make a big deal out of it." You rolled your eyes.
Seonghwa snapped back.
"Oh no! Don't take it the wrong way! It's just.... your body...."
You raised an eyebrow at him. "What about it?"
"It's just.........Wow! Amazing!" He giggled.
Jeong Yunho:
It was Yunho's day off and he decided to spend it at a sauna to relax after working for long hours. Mingi decided to join him as usual. It was all fun between them, just laughing and joking amongst themselves. Mingi was definitely teasing him about his crush on you, which Yunho could only blush at his comments.
After a bit, they decided it was time to leave. Yunho walked out of the sauna room first, Mingi staying for just another minute. Upon walking out, the door to the sauna room next to his opened as well and you walked out.
"Yunho?" You asked, surprised to see him there.
"Y-Y/N?"
He was shook to find you there, and even more since you were wearing nothing, only towel draped over your body to cover you. He felt his face getting hot and then he remembered that he himself only had a towel tied around his waist.
"So nice seeing you here. Maybe I'll see you some other time." You smiled and waved goodbye to him.
Yunho chuckled nervously and waved to you, not knowing what to say. Right at that moment, Mingi came out and took in Yunho's state.
"What's with you? You're acting stupid. Like the kind of stupid you get around Y/N, but 5 times worse"
Kang Yeosang:
You often spent time at Ateez' dorm cause of Wooyoung, he became your friend and he loved having you over, partly because he enjoyed your company and partly cause he knew of Yeosang's crush on you. So of course, he liked torturing the poor boy by making him flustered by your presence.
On a particular day, you accidentally spilled your drink on your shirt and Wooyoung offered you one of his shirts, and left you in his room to change. Except Yeosang didn't know about this, and it was his room too. So he went looking for something and found you topless.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"
He didn't wait to see your reaction. He just covered his face and slammed the door behind him, too shocked to say anything. He ran into the living room, where Wooyoung was and judging from his friend's face, he could guess what happened. Wooyoung started laughing at him.
"Warn a guy you imbecile!" Yeosang threw a cushion at him and made his way to the kitchen.
Once alone though, he replayed your image in his head and giggled softly. He's not totally regretting it.
Choi San:
By no means was this an accident, coincidence or simple unfortunate circumstance. Nope. San knew what he was doing and he was not regretting any second of it. He simply saw the opportunity and decided to take it.
The boys were spending time at your place. You were all planning on watching movies the entire night. Sometime during one of the movies, you got up and decided to change into something more comfy. That's when the light bulb switched in San's brain.
"I'm going to the bathroom." He announced, not that anyone was paying attention.
Instead of the bathroom though, he curbed his way to your bedroom door before smirking to himself. Putting on an innocent expression, he opened your door and walked in on you in just your underwear.
"Choi San!" You exclaimed as you covered yourself.
"I thought you were done!" He said while faking a shocked look.
"Get out!" You yelled as you threw the nearest article of clothing to him, which he dodged.
"Ok ok!"
He closed the door and walked back into the living room, a tiny smirk on his lips.
"You're a perv." Seonghwa told him.
Song Mingi:
This day could not get worse for Mingi. First he woke up late for practice, then he kept messing up at said practice, which resulted in him having to stay extra time at the studio to make up for his mistakes. And now he's lived one of the biggest embarrassments of his life.
It wasn't your fault. He didn't know your plumbing was being fixed and San offered to let you shower in their bathroom. He also forgot to mention that to Mingi when he came home. So naturally when he walked into the bathroom, he was not expecting to see a half naked you in front of him.
"Aaaah!"
You both yelled. Mingi slammed the door closed and ran back to where San was, who upon hearing the commotion, realized he messed up.
"Ooops. Forgot to tell you about-"
"Yeah I noticed." Mingi cut him off.
Mingi sighed and slumped his tall body next to San, feeling so embarrassed.
"How am I ever going to be able to look at them in the face after I saw them half naked?"
San patted his friend's back. "Come on, it's not so bad..... I've seen them completely naked and I can still look at them."
Mingi whipped his head up at San's confession. "You what?!"
Jung Wooyoung:
Feeling bored and wanting to go out, the boys dragged you to the mall with them. They were so excited to get out and enjoy the world, not to mention they all wanted to buy things for themselves. So there you were, watching them all try on clothes and endlessly asking you for your fashion input.
Hongjoong couldn't stand to see you sitting there though. He picked out a few things for you to try on as well, secretly hoping you'd get them so he could customize them for you. So you went inside one of the dressing rooms to try them on. Wooyoung had been looking for his jacket though, which he misplaced.
"Maybe you left it in one of the dressing rooms." Mingi suggested to him.
Wooyoung thought that everybody was done trying on clothes though. That's why he didn't know you were currently in the one he just casually walked into.
"Holy Jesus!" Wooyoung screeched when he saw you half naked.
"Haven't you heard of knocking?!" You yelled as you pushed him out and slammed the door.
Wooyoung walked back to where Mingi was.
"What happened?" Mingi asked, noticing how awkward Wooyoung looked.
Wooyoung looked at the taller male and smiled. "Nothing that I regret."
Choi Jongho:
You were planning a trip to the beach with your family. You were so excited to see them after so long, and even more to see your favorite cousin, whom you were currently texting. Both of you were swimsuit shopping and trying to get each other's opinion on what to get and what looked better on you both.
Unfortunately for you, you weren't really paying attention when you sent a picture of yourself in a very revealing swimsuit to Jongho instead of your cousin.
Y/N: So what do you think? Do you like it?
Jongho dropped his phone when he saw your text, fanning his face that was getting hotter by the second.
Jongho: I mean..... I do?
You screamed when you realized your mistake.
Y/N: Oh my God! Jongho I'm so sorry! I was trying to send that to my cousin! :(
Jongho: It's ok. Don't worry :)
Out of respect for you, he quickly deleted the picture, only thing left was the memory of your body now engraved in his mind.
"Damn are they hot though." He said to himself.
Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.
#ateez#ateez reactions#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines
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SethKate for the ship questionnaire!
So...I got a little wordy on this one. Under the cut!
How did they first meet?
Well, Kate almost ran Seth over her family's RV, if we want to be technical, where she called him, "just some weirdo", not knowing that she's going to one day become...his second wife! (I will never be able to stop myself from referencing we don’t make the future, we just know it). But actual real meeting was when Richie dragged her back from the Dew Drop Inn pool at gunpoint and found Seth in the hotel room with her dad and brother.
Who felt romantic feelings first?
So Kate had a moment of "oh shit I just had a sexual awakening and I don't know what to do" when Seth punched out the doorman for being a creep (which, also, she had another one of those when Kisa had Richie drink tequila off her foot, so like, it was a VERY long day for Kate and she didn't really have time to explore any of THAT, what with the whole, vampire of it all) and Seth just had NO clue why he was so drawn to Kate during the Longest and Worst Night Of Their Lives TM.
All the same, I think Seth felt more, real, "oh shit, Kate is my forever PERSON" feelings first, during the Mexican Honeymoon and it SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF HIM, because she was taking to criminal life like a duck to water and was like, the most perfect partner he could imagine outside his brother, which then sent his brain on a tailspin because Richie was supposed to be his only ever perfect partner. Which was a big part of why he thought it was right to send her away for her safety in 2x02.
And while Kate definitely had feelings at the time, more of her feelings developed after she died and was fighting off Amaru in her body, and she saw Seth's soul when Amaru tried to kill him, and then saw all the efforts he was making to save her after he found out she was alive.
You! Made! Them! Into! Heroes!
Like, that's when she KNEW she was totally and completely done for.
Did either of them try to resist their feelings?
Hahahaha SO MUCH. Like I said in the last answer, Seth liked Kate so much it scared him enough that he thought the best option was just to send her away for her safety (forgetting that she's so fucking stubborn and is basically the human form of the "fight me" emoji--which, was probably because of the heroin fucking up his what little complex reasoning skills he has.)
And Kate definitely resisted any feelings back in Mexico because of the heroin and she was NOT going to ever commit herself to a junkie.
Who initiated their feelings first?
SETH GECKO JUST WANTS TO HOLD KATE FULLER'S HAND AND I THINK THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
(yes, I'm referring to 3x04)
It was Seth with his actions throughout season 3, especially once he confirmed that she was actually still alive in 3x04. But it was Kate who said the words first and hit him with the metaphorical 2x4 before she walked through the gate in 3x10.
Who said “I love you” first?
Like I said, it was Kate in 3x10 before she walked into the gate. I also think it's Kate, AGAIN, post-canon, because Seth loves Kate so much he doesn't have sense, but also has a martyr complex a mile wide and is too scared to make a move because...did she mean in general? was she just talking to Scott? did she mean like love in the romantic sense or platonic???? why couldn't she be more clear it's not like we were facing the end of the world or anything.
And Kate had to be like "yes I actually love you, you donut"
Who gets jealous easily?
While Kate may have some insecurities about Seth's history and the women he's been with in the past, Seth really doesn't like other men who are closer to Kate's age to talk to her, especially at Jed's. He's not a caveman about it, but there are times where he'll get a little huffy about it until Kate sets him straight. It's not something that happens often, and it helps that Kate doesn't look like she was just recently a teenager thanks to the red hair.
Who is more protective?
Seth is SO protective. SO protective. A lot of it is because of what Kate's gone through and Seth really wants to shield her from having to deal with anything even remotely like what she went through over those two years. But at the same time? NO ONE fucks with her boys and gets away with it. Kate can be pretty vicious when she wants to be. Do no harm, but take no shit. And Seth LOVES it.
Who remembers the little things?
Seth feels like he can't afford to forget anything because of everything that happened to them since they met. While they both remember like, all the things, Seth is the ones who brings it up the most, like off-hand comments that Kate made in Mexico about things she likes or dislikes, and it always throws her when he remembers things that she didn't expect him to remember.
Who talks about their feelings more?
Kate is the one who instigates the conversations because Seth can kind of be emotionally constipated. He always feels like he feels WAY more than she does and doesn't want to overwhelm her, and Kate's just like, "shut the fuck up, I'm so stupid about you its almost embarrassing".
Who uses the cheesier pickup lines?
Seth, 1000000%, because he loves him some old movies and can't help but quote them. And then he dies a little on the inside when Kate doesn't understand that reference. But she likes the pickup lines all the same.
(Richie, on the other hand, is disgusted by them both.)
What does a first date look like for them?
Because of, you know, everything, they don't really do a traditional first date. They just go from not together (because she was dead, and then possessed) to extremely together, very quickly. The first time they go on a traditional date is probably one night on a trip they take to Galveston some months after season 3. Seth's like, oh shit, we haven't actually gone on a DATE, and Kate's like, whatever you want to do sounds nice (partly because she doesn't want him to feel obligated to do traditional relationship things since from what she knows about him, he's never been about that life), but Seth pulls out all the stops (really nice restaurant out by the beach, brings her flowers, etc) and it's awkward for all of five minutes because they feel like they should be doing traditional early-relationship date things, until they remember everything they've gone through together and Kate makes some comment about Richie which reminds Seth of a funny story about them and one of their early heists and suddenly it's all back to normal.
What do they like to do together?
Crime. They both saw the potential of what they could be as partners with the mercado heist, but of course didn't have time to think about it all what with everything that happened after, but when Seth let himself accept Kate as a partner, it opened up Los Tres Geckos to a hell of a lot more successful and lucrative crimes to pull off. Kate's REALLY fucking good at crime, and Seth loves it.
(Richie, on the other hand, is kind of disgusted by how much Seth loves how good at crime Kate is)
Which one gets angry the most, leaving the other to calm them down?
Kate is definitely the one who tends to be more even-keeled, especially with her "violence is not the answer" upbringing. She knows better than to let Seth get lost in his own head for too long, and with them being together Seth gets a lot better at handling both his anger and his anxiety.
Do they like PDA?
Seth is much more comfortable with it than Kate is. Kate is just really not a fan of how their culebra family and staff have heightened senses and like ALWAYS KNOW thanks to pheromones, so she tries to be as even-keeled as possible and PDA-free around them. Seth doesn't always let her get away with it.
(This may or may not play into the events of House Hunters: Culebra Properties Edition....just saying.)
What are their big spoon / little spoon arrangements?
More often than not, Kate is the big spoon, but it also depends on who's having the worst nightmares and when. Kate just tends to sprawl, and most of that sprawling ends up being on top of Seth.
Does one like the cuddle more than the other?
Seth Gecko is a WORLD CHAMPION CUDDLER. World. Freaking. Champion. Kate is a little surprised by it, but she's super into it. They're pretty much always touching in one way, shape, or form when they're around each other.
Who hogs the blankets?
I don't think either, so much as Seth runs so warm at night that he tends to kick the blankets off both of them and he uses his both heat to keep Kate warm at night.
Who’s more likely to initiate sex?
Seth, 10000%. Kate's always into it, because Seth is DAMN good at what he does, but he tends to initiate more.
Who’s the kinkiest?
Kate is 10000000% not aware of her kinks because of her upbringing, but she finds she's pretty much into whatever Seth suggests. It's all pretty vanilla, but there are some positions that Kate never would have thought of and she's here for it.
Who is the top and bottom in their sex life? Are they interchangeable?
Seth is usually the one who takes control of things, but the times where Kate's in charge, well, are some of the best sex that Seth has ever had.
Who likes giving and who likes receiving oral?
Definitely both. Seth does it more because he doesn't like to let Kate, and also prefers to finish inside her, but Kate is also very good at what she does, on those times.
Can they last more than one round?
Oh definitely. Y'all, despite the fact that Seth started going gray in his late 20s, Seth is NOT that old. He can keep up.
Which one is a morning person?
Kate is slightly more of a morning person compared to Seth, who is absolutely NOT, but considering their lifestyle is mostly nocturnal, but tend to stay up pretty late.
Do either of them like to cook?
Seth knows how to cook fast food-type food from his time at Big Kahuna, and Kate likes to bake more than she likes to cook. But Kate does know how too cook thanks to her upbringing in Bethel and "traditional woman things". They'll split the difference for breakfast, but most often lunches and dinner are either brought in or eaten at Jed's.
If they get married, who proposes first?
This is one of the times in Kate's life where she is pretty traditional, and lets Seth do the proposing. It's also a lot more of a traditional proposal than she expected, with Seth setting up a fuckton of candles on the balcony of their beach house in Galveston and surprising here with takeout from her favorite restaurant and getting down on one knee before dessert.
What kind of wedding do they have?
It's small, and not technically legal since they're all technically dead. Richie officiates, Scott shows up with his culebra girlfriend, and Kisa comes with a very nice gift that Seth is kind of a dick about accepting from her, because they're very much those antagonistic type of friends and he feels awkward about any sincerity from her and being sincere in return. He's also not comfortable with how much dancing Richie and Kisa do together at their small reception, which Kate thinks is hilarious.
Does anyone object to their relationship?
Freddie isn't a fan, but he doesn't get a vote. Scott doesn't like Seth because of how their families first came together (kidnapping is kind of a bad first impression, I guess), but grows to accept their relationship especially after all the efforts Seth took to get Kate back and how Seth did ultimately save Kate's life while Scott was busy freaking out in the church.
Do they have any kids?
Their lifestyle isn't conductive for children (read: crime is illegal), and also Seth is terrified by the idea of treating any potential children like his dad did, or fucking them up in some way. Along with her fears of potentially going through what her mother suffered before she died, Kate is also scared of passing on any potential leftovers from Amaru. They just mutually decide to pass on that.
They do end up taking in the newly turned culebra teenagers that come their way, because Kate has some experience with encountering culebras at a young age, and Scott is always available for consults as an eternal 16-year-old. They stay at Jed's for a while to acclimate before moving on. It ends up being a handful every year, and Kate always keeps track of them and stays in touch. It's as close to motherhood as it gets for her, and she loves it.
Do they have any pets?
One day, Seth finds an injured cat in their backyard, and just like that, they have a cat. Once she recovers, she becomes the queen of the house, and she loves cuddling with them both on the couch in the evenings.
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Joke headcanon or family / childhood headcanon für Justus, Peter, Bob und Skinny
falls das zu viel ist, such dir gerne jemanden aus :D
Joke headcanon
Justus: I think he has quite a dry and also sophisticated sort of humour so most people don't even get half of his jokes
Peter: very dumb stupid jokes, will laugh at the silliest things - and definitely nfect at least Bob & Jeffrey with his laughter. Definitely a big fan of dumb puns!!
Bob: Bob is a sarcastic little shit and we all know it. Usually it's all in good fun but boy does he know just which insecurities to tap in if he isn't in a good mood or doesn't like someone
Skinny (just answered this one ^^)
Family/childhood headcanon
Justus: considering his early acting career, he probably grew up somewhere in the LA area with his parents but not in Rocky Beach. when he was still small Mathilda & Titus were the fun aunt & uncle he got to see a few times a year and who doted on him. after his parents’ death that dynamic obviously changed, not only because he withdrew for quite a while but also because now Titus and especially Mathilda just couldn’t go with a “you can have and do everything you want” kind of parenting style. instead there were strict routines for the first year or two (no matter how hard it was for everyone involved) so that he had at least some stability in this new life
Peter: with his dad’s super busy work schedule and his mum being a social butterfly (Frauenclub und so), Peter’s parents weren’t/aren’t home alone a lot - meaning when he was little his mum & Bob’s agreed that he’d spend most days the Andrews’ place after school (partly because Bob would not stop bugging his own mum) but on the weekends Bob was constantly at their place
Bob: his mum’s a stay at home mum and probably was a bit overprotective when he was little because she knows a bit of the quite risky investigative journalism his dad was involved in (also didn’t help that Bob is just smol.) so she was kinda glad when Peter & him became such good friends cause he always looked out for Bob (Sandkastenfreunde, yay!)
Skinny: SO many. and all of them involve a pretty fucked up family life & childhood because a) that’s at the very least supported, if not explicitly stated in canon on occasion and b) I love me some damaged boy. with a mother who only cared about appearances due to their high social status (and possibly was pressured into having a son by her husband so she wouldn’t leave?) and a father who was barely ever home and expected nothing but perfection, he did not have a good time growing up. he probably realised (or at least felt) pretty soon that to his parents he was basically just something to be shown off - not that hard when you only get rules and expectations pushed upon you, never any actual love or care - and obviously he despised it so he started rebelling in any way possible very early on
#dankeschön!! :D#keeping me busy & getting me back into thinking! :D#...ich hab irgendwie alles automatisch auf englisch geschrieben ups...#und skinny + childhood kann sehr schnell sehr deprimierend bei mir werden... sorry#die drei fragezeichen#headcanon ask
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Tehee! The Frostiron Holiday Wishes challenge ❆ is officially closed for submissions, and OPEN FOR CLAIMS! 🎅🎄 (Wishlist)
Sorry for the delay in posting the wishlist! And thank you so much to everyone who’s submitted prompts! :D ♥ ♥ ♥
For those not aware of the challenge, you can see what it it’s all about in the original post here! :)
*** This post was last updated: 12/8/2020 ***
Rules for Claiming a ‘Wish’
❆ Artists can claim as many ‘wishes’ (idea/prompt) as they want and fill them (as all prompts are not designated to a specific artist)!
After you’ve picked up a ‘Wish’ to Fill
❆ Please be sure to contact me (lightneverfades) via message which one you chose!
❆ When you finish creating the artwork for the wish (ideally before Dec 24), please be sure to send me the art/fic/etc you’ve made! (If you need help sending it to me, let me know and I’ll help!)
❆ I know you might be excited, but the surprise is what makes this fun, so please keep your artwork a secret until Dec 24 & 25!
❆ On Dec 24 & 25 (Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!) 🎅🎄, I will post a MASTER POST including links/photos/etc of all the artwork/completed fills received for the prompts below! :)
Types of Fills ✨
❆ Any type of fan works is allowed - That means fan fics, fan art (drawings, digital graphics), fan videos and fan mixes!
Note: *= Anything with this means I couldn’t directly tag the user’s name. (Please contact me and I will edit it so that it works!)
FAQ ✨
Q: Is there a word limit?
A: Nope, there is no word limit! ;) Although it will be ideal if the fic in general is a complete work!
Without further ado, here are the wishes received for the challenge! ♥
Requester: @kimmycup
Rating: G (General audience)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Invasion fic where Tony figures out Loki was mind controlled before Loki does: "But I WAS in control. Thanos didn't control me like I did Clint."
"Yeah sure. And if you wanted to take over the world, what would you do?" Loki spluttered, fully aware that plan was dumb. Still, he would KNOW if he were controlled... Right?
"But I wasn't mind controlled! It was me!"
Requester: @kimmycup
Rating: G (General audience)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki in Tony's MIT sweatshirt.
Requester: @worstloki
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences)
Trigger warning: nothing nsfw please >:)
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Tony and Loki both having panic attacks at the same time. just make it wild. whatever the reasons are, maybe it's the same reason? maybe they have shared triggers? maybe it's separate reasons? maybe the other avengers are around and don't realize the incoming attacks and keep bringing up bad memories? maybe one of them notices the other is freaking out and defends them? maybe drags them away only to also start having a panic attack? whatever. they're both freaking out and just kinda do that. they then bond over it. (this can be crack or angsty I don't mind)
Requester: Nivael *
Rating: E (Explicit)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): I’d always had that idea in my head, that Loki somehow took notice of Tony during the events of Thor 1, when he was on earth/watched Thor on earth.He fell in love with the mortal that was at the same time so different yet similar to him. So when he fell from the Rainbow bridge and into Thanos’ hands he planned to sabotage earths invasion from the very start to save Tony. Fast forward to at least after the end of Thor 2, (when Loki takes Odin’s place in the MCU) Loki escapes to earth after Thor thinks he’s been killed by the dark elves. He knows Thanos won’t rest until the infinity stones are his and the earth is still in danger. So he watches Tony to keep him save. With all the self hatred and lack of self esteem he harbors, he does not plan to actually act on his feelings, because he does not think he could be worthy of Tony. Plus, he invaded earth, caused lots of casualties, he’s an ugly Frost giant and the god of lies...so... yeah. He cannot think of one reason why Tony could be interested in him.But his feelings draw him to Stark and one day while following him, Loki gets careless and Tony discovers him. (Maybe Loki even discreetly intervenes a few times when Tony is in danger and Tony doesn’t notice until one day he does...?). So Stark confronts him and bit by bit (because Loki is not very cooperative and the least he wants is for Tony to discover his "ugly" emotional secret) he uncovers the truth about Thanos, the invasion and how Loki feels for him. I can imagine Loki to react ashamed, dismissive and maybe aggressive when Tony finally finds out. Tony, not being stupid, already suspected something to be fishy about the invasion. With how much Thor told him about Lokis wit and cleverness, he finds it hard to believe that Loki would make so many obvious mistakes. But now that he knows, all makes sense.Loki still watches over Tony, but keeps his distance. Until one day he saves Tonys life during a (random) attack and gets badly injured. With Lokis life on the line Stark realizes he has feelings for Loki and he takes him in to take care of his wounds. Healing takes some time so the two have plenty of time to get to know each other and deepen their feelings. Smut may follow :D (Oh... I am SO SORRY this became so much. God, it is too much, isn’t it? And sorry for my english o.o)
Requester: Nivael *
Rating: E (Explicit)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki and Tony are in an established relationship. Things go great, but Loki is still unaccepting of his Jotun heritage and body. While Tony is completely fascinated by it, partly because Loki tries to hide it so hard. So he gets a fancy magical gadget from Strange (amulet, bracelet,...?) to be able to avoid frostbite so he can touch Loki even when he's in his Jotun form. Then there will be smut! :D
Requester: @brianadoesart
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): MERMAIDS. I like mermaids. Either a fic or art, but I just want more content of mer-Loki or mer-Tony. I always enjoy versions where Loki is an underwater prince who falls in love with a stupid human inventor by the name of Tony. He's never been 100% happy in the palace with Thor and the others, so he often would go to the shore to watch the humans. He sees Tony working on the beach one day and becomes interested in him from there on. Basically a little mermaid type thing... I am easy to please. I just like mermaids.
Requester: @brianadoesart
Rating: G (General audience)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): A.... Among Us au....... Impostor Loki protecting his crewmate friend Tony from the other impostors.... I..... Tony and Loki as Among Us beans...
Requester: @arandomsewer
Rating: M (Mature)
Trigger warning: Mentions of trauma and past abuse and racism, maybe sex? Just some drama and comfort
Wish (Prompt/Idea): I just want him to live on and being supported by his Friends and his brother recognizing him, that's basically the prompt. Tho here's the details of the Idea I had: Loki is living at the tower with the others (of course) too proud to say out loud how much he likes life on earth... The usual.Something happens and suddenly the magic that made him look Asgardian is just not working anymore. Understandably, he freaks out. Im talking hides in his room, crying, anger, hate, on himself and others... The whole lot, he just throws a major fit.The others know him and kind of understand and are patient... But it’s not getting fixed. Days pass, and he's stuck like this. After a while Tony snaps him out of It, and he slowly calms down and starts learning to accept this side of himself. It’s specially strange to him how he can just walk in a room and no one treats him different. How the others are even fascinated by this form. I expect Thor being shocked and curious and snapped at and reminded how he (and his people on general) have been unfair to Loki... And of course, there's the romance with Tony, Who loves him in all his forms (and they fit together 'cause he's kinky and Loki a shapeshifter)Also imagine Loki being terrified of touching Tony and then finding out he's cold to the touch but not actually dangerous (my headcanon: he's the son of Hella. Half giant and half Asgardian, and the actual heir... But that's for another fic)
Requester: @brianadoesart
Rating: G (General audience)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Tony has been living alone for so long that Pepper and Rhodey decide to find him a roommate. They've tried living with him themselves, but they're both so busy it didn't really help Tony's loneliness. So they put out an ad for someone who specifically works from home. Choosing to keep it secret WHO they need a roommate for, they get some applicants, but not the crazy amount they normally would. Rhodey and Pepper go through all the applicants, even meet with them, and they choose a nice, smart author named Loki. He's the perfect candidate- he's even excited by the idea that his new roommate has no idea he's even GETTING a roommate. He finds it funny. They introduce Loki and Tony and sit back and watch everything unfold. Obviously it ends up with Tony and Loki falling for each other in the end, but seeing the shenanigans of them trying to cohabitate would be hilarious. Just watching them learn each other and begin to care about each other. I would like to see it.
Requester: @brianadoesart
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Cupcake shop au!!! One of our boys owns a cupcake shop and the other one is a FREQUENT visitor to said coffee shop. Lots of people think its because they have a sweet tooth, but they're just hopelessly in love with whichever one owns the shop.
Requester: @loufeysson
Rating: M (Mature)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Hi! my prompt is teenage Tony and android Loki in a futuristic universe (in the style of Black Mirror, maybe?) 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 Thank you!
Requester: @blancoluna
Rating: M (Mature)
Trigger warning: CRACK, haha
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Basically Friga wonders where she went wrong, asks the Oracle and goes on a guilt trip realizing she messed up to Valhalla and back. The idea is, being a queen-godess of family, she should be able to do something about it, maybe traveling in time or something... And Loki's gonna need powerful allies and Friends, like the Avengers, for example Now the same, but with detail. This is the way I imagined It. Perhaps it’s too much drama? I just don't know how to tackle It or how to go from here:After everything that happened, Frigga wonders where she went wrong, not just with Loki, but with Thor who didn't appreciate his brother, Odín, who treated him unfairly and even the servants, Who didn't respect him.She wonders if she could have done anything, and the guilt wont let her sleep until she goes to the well of wisdom, the Oracle, to seek answers.She is warned the truth may be even more painful. She may not like the answer... But she goes in.It is way worse than she thought: in one second she is reminded of all the times she should have acted, and chose not to, and she sees how It affected her family.She could and should have done something, and she had plenty of time, but at every chance she chose not to. And its perhaps worse than what Odin did because she knew It was wrong but chose to do nothing about It.But even more: It is confirmed to her that not only Odín never gave Loki a chance: he didn't find him. He stole him from the temple where he was guarded. He is not just the son of Louffey, but also of Hella, and thus, the actual heir to the throne of Asgard.She was supposed to be the godess of family, and here she was, consumed by guilt and shame, by having followed blindly a King Who abused her children and betrayed his own heir, aside from many other crimes.But Frigga can't just spend the test of eternity crying. She must do something. She was raised by witches!!Will she manage to get her hands on the time Stone? Or Will she just travel to another dimension to warn a younger version of herself? Will this be the beginning of a new multiverse? The possibilities are endless, when the godess of family must avenge her child...But first: for him to have a better Life he would need support, allies... Friends. (Enter the Avengers)
Add-on: Frigga having this vision was just meant to be a one shot that would connect many different alternative stories, all with the 'what if Frigga did something for Loki' as a common base. All of them would be Frostiron 'cause I honestly believe they are just meant for one another! It is just so open to so many possibilities... That I never got to writing any of them.
One of the first ideas I had following this concept was of Frigga introducing Tony and Loki early on somehow: as kids they would be like 'imaginary friends' then Tony manages to contact him and they are webcam buds... As young adults, they would help each other go a different path than they did in other lives.... and when Loki needed help, he had allies to back him. (The Avengers, whom Tony may have introduced to him earlier)
Requester: @snarkyship
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Human/no powers AU. Sort-of-enemies to friends to lovers.Tony rents this house/bungalow by the sea for the summer, with a kind of private beach where there is also a cute gazebo. Only that the gazebo is exactly halfway with the other property (by some mistake?). And the tenant of the neighbour bungalow is Loki, who's not so keen on sharing. So Loki&Tony will start a "war" to gain possession of the gazebo, doing their worst using the excuse of "this is my half, I can use it as I want". ((Optional: there is a table right in the middle, so at the beginning they sit at their own side glaring at each other, before starting deploying more convoluted tactics)).Mischief after mischief, they will start to know each other and of course everything will end with one of them inviting the other to their half for a romantic dinner and they'll end up sharing more than the gazebo <3((I hope it's enough clear and but also not too detailed??))
Requester: @snarkyship
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Finally Tony has managed to locate Loki's whereabouts. And it turns out the godling lives in a pretty loft in Manhattan, with all the comforts and the most advanced midgardian technology ((lighting, temperature and everything controlled by a tablet - the Stark latest model!- , appliances linked to the wifi, and has that roomba a knife??)).Tony decides to have a little fun: who said Loki is the only one who can do a little mischief?? So he takes control over Loki's apartment hacking its system; he starts with some flickering lights, the roomba changing suddenly trajectory to stab him, then blasting music in the middle of the night and so on.And Loki would be so frustrated: at the beginning he thinks about some failure in the inferior midgardian technology, then he'll think to be under attack, but he can't feel any magic signature!! Maybe he'll freak out a little, because there is some kind of unknown entity??? ((And while he may be using all the technology without problems, it doesn't mean he fully understands its working)).Tony will have fun, but he also will discover some cute aspects of Loki's personality, like he sings to his plants and he likes to wear fuzzy socks ((ok it sounds voyeuristic, but Tony would respect part Loki's privacy, maybe he'll spy on him only when in the living room or kitchen)).((And maybe he would help Loki as well? Like, the godling had a nightmare after falling asleep on the couch, and Tony would gently woke him up with music))Loki will eventually understand that Stark, the most clever midgardian, was behind all of this, and well, he's the God of Mischief, he can appreciate a well planned trick. Time to return the favor ;)
Requester: @martiszcz
Rating: M (Mature)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Someone is trying to break them up by making Loki jealous, mentioning Tony's playboy years, talking about the time they slept with Tony, talking about how much time he spends with some friend (Pepper, Rhodey, I don't care who) but Loki doesn't react - they trust each other.
Requester: @shinindragon
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): The Avengers + Loki fight a villain. Loki uses a lot of his magic, eventually almost draining his energy completely when he protects Tony from getting hurt. When the battle is over, they return to the tower, all of them exhausted. Tony notices Loki doesn't look well, he asks if he's okay. Loki barely gets a word out before he collapses into Tony's arms, unconscious. Thor carries Loki to Tony's and his bedroom, explaining to Tony that he'll be alright, it's just exhaustion from an excessive use of magic. Tony stays with Loki, taking care of him. Fluff and with a sprinkle of angst.
Requester: @lightneverfades (Lol yup, shamelessly requesting as well haha!)
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences) or M (Mature)
Trigger warning: N/A
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Detroit: Become Human AU -
Young Tony Stark is neglected by his father, who is the CEO of CyberLife corporation. He craves for his attention and approval but doesn’t get it, causing him to become so bitter one day that he sneaks into one of the labs to sabotage whatever work he is doing. Tony comes across an abandoned RK800 model (also known as ‘Loki’), about to be taken apart for parts. He salvages the model before it gets destroyed, feeling sorry for this inanimate object that’s being thrown away so carelessly. He rebuilds Loki again in secret, and Loki becomes his friend through lonely times (Tony is there to help Loki understand humans, life, language, etc and Loki just keeps Tony company). Tragedy strikes the Stark family though, when his parents die in a car accident. Loki is there to help him and as Tony starts to grow up and become a man (he continues to fix Loki when he breaks down or updates him), Loki’s system starts to show signs similar to that of human emotions, although Tony is completely unaware of this.
At a certain point though, Tony - in one of his bad moods - decides that he doesn’t need Loki anymore and shuts him down and puts him away in storage, resolving to move on with life without these ‘distractions’ to keep him company (image a scene where Tony is angry and throws that frustration and loneliness onto Loki, who tries to calm him down and sooth away his anxiety (’I understand you’) but Tony’s all (‘But you’re just a machine!’) and although Tony isn’t aware, Loki feels a spark of hurt, though even he can’t explain what this emotion means.)
Years pass and eventually Tony forgets about Loki. He earns a name for himself, having taken over his father’s company (which still creates androids and in addition, creates weaponry of mass destruction as well). Obadiah is watching over Tony’s company (he is the one who ‘suggested’ he focus on building a name for himself and to shut out any ‘distractions’ that get in the way: namely Loki. Over the years, he saw how Tony interacted with the android and he had the uneasy sense that the android had matured into something more than its primary use. He considers Loki a threat).
The events of Iron Man happen, with Tony being captured by the Ten Rings and then escaping. During his days confined at home to recover, he stumbles upon Loki and decides to reboot him again (partly out of guilt and partly because he’s lonely again). He finds comfort with Loki once more.
Tony decides to crash the charity party by making an appearance with Loki as his ‘bodyguard’. Obadiah sees this and is not happy about this strange attachment Tony has over this android.
Loki helps Tony build his first prototypes of the Iron Man suit, and they get to reacquaint themselves. One day, Loki sees on the news that there are a number of deviant android cases and is confused by what he sees, but it soon dawns on him that he might be feeling emotions for Tony, finally understanding the true meaning, especially when Tony is injured (while Loki is out on an errand) and Obadiah ambushes Tony by stealing the mini arc reactor in his chest.
Shortly afterwards, to spite Tony, Obadiah hacks into Loki’s system and tries to eradicate the ‘deviancy’ he sensed in Loki years ago and turn the android against Tony (he tries to make Loki kill him). It doesn’t work - on the contrary, it finally frees Loki. Together, Tony and Loki go against Obadiah, who is intent on destroying them and taking over CyberLife corp.
Requester: @lightneverfades (Lol yup, shamelessly requesting as well haha!)
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences)
Trigger warning: Sickly, happy song cliches! xD Hah!
Wish (Prompt/Idea): In which Tony or Loki (you can choose) is cursed by Amora to relive a week in which their lives suddenly become a musical and everyone around them spontaneously bursts into dance and song. (I have this image of Loki bursting into song about something ridiculous and Tony’s like, “What the HELL, what’s going on!”). This could either be enemies-to-lovers or it could start from them already being in a relationship.
Bonus points if the Avengers team all burst into song together and there’s actually lyrics!! (Then I can actually make up a tune/sing it during the last month of 2020 so this year ends with rainbows and fluff and HAPPY FROSTIRON THOUGHTS! XD)
Requester: @lightneverfades (Lol yup, shamelessly requesting as well haha!)
Rating: T (Teen and up audiences) or M (Mature)
Trigger warning: FLUFF OVERLOAD! <3 Mpreg (might not be everyone’s cup of tea)
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki has a kid with Tony (eeehehe, go all in with the loving and caring Tony fussing over his pregnant enemy-turned-boyfriend-turned-husband), calls her Morgan. Tony is obsessed with buying baby clothes for their daughter to the point where he has a closet dedicated to socks (lol he can’t get enough of small baby clothes and the potential to make his daughter look like a rainbow?!). Lol, I don’t even know! Just domestic bliss I guess! <3 Bonus points if Tony buys Christmas sweaters for his fam, including the Avengers, who dote on baby Morgan like their own (Thor with his anime eyes). Or even better, if baby Morgan grows up and plays little tricks on Uncle Thor and Loki and Tony chuckle in the background as Thor lets his niece do whatever she wants, cause he loves him too much to care, lol~
Requester: @lightneverfades (Lol yup, shamelessly requesting as well haha!)
Rating: M (Mature)
Trigger warning: CRACK, haha
Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki is a yoga instructor and one day Tony goes to one of his classes and finds out the best positions to ‘relax’ - body, mind and soul >:D. (I love puns, so go crazy hahaha!)
#frostiron#frostiron holiday wishes challenge#christmas#yayyyy#challenge#tony/loki#ironfrost#loki/tony#au#fanfic#prompts#fills#requests#so many cool ideas#i am shameless in that i have submitted four prompts to my own challenge lol but i am selfish hahaha
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Some Context
I keep referring to BTMI! songs’ critiques of the “punk scene,” and I realize that I should give some context on what that meant at that particular moment in time. My account is going to be a little muddled because I didn’t actually live through most of what I’m about to recount (well, OK, I lived through it, but I was too young to understand it until I became a teenager at the very end of the era), so I apologize if this comes across as inauthentic or second-hand – the best I can say is that even if I wasn’t “there,” I felt the ripples and aftershocks of the tensions within the punk scene throughout my teenage years and beyond.
I don’t want to sound like I’m idealizing the past too much, so I’ll say that if my study of the genre’s history reflects any kind of reality, we can safely say that punk rock, for all its rebellious posturing, has always had a commercial aspect to it. Hell, everyone knows the story of how Malcolm McLaren assembled the Sex Pistols as a kind of “anti-boy band” specifically to make money. But it wasn’t until the 90s that punk became a business institution. And this turn of events revolves largely around the rise of a “sub-genre” of punk that has now become the first thing most young listeners think of when they hear the word: pop-punk.
The biggest pop-punk bands of the 90s (Green Day and Blink-182 being the most notable examples) enjoyed a steady rise to mainstream popularity from the time of their origins until many reached the kind of “superstar status” previously reserved for what were known in the 70s and 80s as “arena rock” bands. This was largely unprecedented, and it fundamentally changed how punk as a genre was approached from a musical and political standpoint. By the mid-2000s, punk became an opportunity to make big money, upping the stakes for anyone trying to get a piece of the pop-punk pie.
At the same time, pop-punk began a fragmentation into increasingly stratified subgenres that attempted to alter what some saw as a disappointingly formulaic approach to counter-culture. Thus we got emo*, metalcore, and, of course, ska-punk. The irony of this genre stratification was that the subgenres proved to be just as restrictive and formulaic as pop-punk, if not more so: metalcore bands must have tuned-down guitars and screamed vocals, ska-punk bands must have a horn section, downbeats on the 2 and 4, and sections that alternate between ska and hardcore, etc. And with these subgenre divisions came further divisions of punk fans into cliques that frequently fought amongst each other for the spotlight, each claiming to be the true successor to the iconoclasm of the original punk movement. On top of all this, some punks with noisier/avant-garde leanings that could smell the stagnation coming found solace in rejecting any kind of commitment to pretty much anything, adopting a cheap irony to shield themselves from the self-parody they might otherwise be accused of. But instead of opening up new creative avenues, this stance tended to lead only to a callousness that encouraged making fun of almost anyone who claimed to take what they were doing seriously, creating a race to the bottom for who could appear to care the least.
This is the scene I imagine Jeff grew up through; I merely grew up in the midst of it. This was already the state of punk rock by the time I started listening to it in the late-2000s. Naturally, Jeff had a lot to say about it. His music and lyrics in BTMI! frequently challenged the apparent incoherence of playing punk rock in the 21st century. Perhaps the fact that he started from a position in it considered (by the mid-2000s, although Propagandhi had already released “Ska Sucks” in 1993) to already be deserving of mockery, that of the much-derided ska-punk scene, is part of what gave him the vantage point he had. BTMI! started with songs in a genre already considered to be obsolete, and Jeff sounded like he was fully aware of this from the start; he sings and plays with irony, but it’s a different kind of irony than that of the callous hipster types that had started to dominate the scene at that time. BTMI!’s sense of irony feels like it’s laughing both at and with itself, like a person who knows exactly how ridiculous they look in doing something but goes ahead and does it anyway. And there’s a freedom in this, the freedom that comes from both self-awareness and shaking off the chains of shame simultaneously.
Granted, BTMI! didn’t just play ska-punk – over time, their sound grew more and more diverse as they branched off into different experiments and new arrangements. This was another challenge to the punk scene of the time: a refusal to be pigeonholed and restricted to a single genre. Jeff mentions in some of his notes how much he was inspired by music that falls pretty distinctly outside of the realm of punk, like Neutral Milk Hotel and the Beach Boys, and his own music reflects those influences. BTMI! was more than a ska-punk band, and, against the limited measure of what a punk band could be at that time, more than a punk band as well.
In addition to its ironic malaise, BTMI!’s lyrics also tackled the punk scene’s in-fighting problem and general hostility to anyone perceived to be coming from outside of the culture. Jeff decried gatekeeping and violence at shows, pushing instead for a community based on kindness, positivity, and recognition of what members of the scene have in common. Punk rock is still angry and political in his vision – during the Bush years, how could it not be? – but that anger is also therapeutic, helping to lift up those who come to punk seeking some kind of release from mainstream capitalist drudgery. And even those that don’t care about punk deserved respect; Jeff was a big proponent of not being cruel to the “boring nice people” who weren’t a part of the scene.
One final note for context that doesn’t inform BTMI!’s music as much as my own understanding of it: by the late 2000s, another development occurred within punk, once again to its detriment. The worst aspects of the emo and metalcore movements came together into something that would become known as “the scene,” populated by “scene kids.” Though rejected by most “traditional” punks, this quickly became the most popular subculture of its time, and is likely how the majority of kids in the last couple generations ended up learning about punk as a culture and musical form for the first time. BTMI! didn’t necessarily explicitly address this development (though there are hints of some recognition of it in their lyrics), but their music did stand out in stark contrast to most of the “scene” music of that time. This is partly what attracted me to them so much: they were a punk band that had nothing to do with “the scene,” independent thinkers with a musical vision of their own, willing to mock anything (including themselves) but still seriously committed to what they did because they knew that was what they wanted.
*Yes, I know that the roots of emo reach further back, but I’m talking about when it began to solidify into what we recognize to be “emo” today – let’s face it, Rites Of Spring is a far cry from My Chemical Romance, or even, I don’t know, Cap’n Jazz.
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Dedicated to @unbiddenrhythm for getting me hooked on this seriously rare-pair. Although our Assistants have slightly different names, Rea is heavily inspired by her head cannons, so she's like, 99% hers.
This started out as a short drabble for OTP prompts, and just...evolved. the prompt was: Which one gets jealous more often.
Short answer: Rea does, partly because she often feels like she Reeve is far out of her league.
Long answer: well, this:
Fluffyish piece of ReevexAssistant below. Mentions of jealous, hints of slight sexual harassment (not between the main couple). Spoiler free!
Oddly enough, Rea tends to get jealous more often.
Reeve Tuesti was really the poster boy of Shinra directors. Granted, compared to the other three males that made up the board of directors, it wasn't that surprising. Anyone would look good compared to Palmer, Heidegger, and Hojo.
The only other Shinra Executive the gossip columnists wrote more about was Rufus, and since his assignment to Junon and virtual banishment from Midgar, he had been forced to the limelight. Leaving Reeve to endure the spotlight and rather unwanted attention.
Rea knew she shouldn't be reading the trashy magazines that were little more than fluff pieces that barely disguised Shinra propaganda. But when Reeve was on the latest cover, it was hard for her to resist. Her official reason was to study the gossip and figure out if she needed to give the poor man a heads up about the latest rumors (like when they published his favorite cafe and the 'fans' were flooding to the small cat cafe in Sector 3 to catch a glimpse) or start counter-arguments derailing the misconceptions that tended to sprout from time to time (like that he was yet another Shinra bastard son).
It was just a coincidence that the side bonus was to be able to.study her boss's appearance without the risk of being caught. (Not that the paparazzi ever got a picture of his true smile, or really captured the small little glint in his eyes he got when he was amused. But they did get a rather good side profile when he was jogging on the treadmill on the rec floor that she was rather fond of.)
However, this time the articles left her more than a little disquieted. It was a special edition covering President Shinra's birthday party from the weekend prior. It had been a through who's-who affair, with everyone dressed to impress. She skipped over the details of the designers, and briefly wrinkled her nose at the image of Hojo and Palmer and their suits. Not even the best tailors in the world could make them half-decent, though she questioned who thought to let Palmer wear a suit that was a rather gross mix of brown and green that reminded her of things that belong in a toilet.
She did have to admit lingering on the first couple images of her boss in the well-fitted black suit made his long legs and thin form even more prominent than usual. The remaining articles that weren't dedicated to praising the President were focused on the Urban Development Director…
...and questioning his relationship with Scarlett.
Nearly every picture had the two in close proximity, and in more than a couple, Scarlett was hanging from Reeve's arm, a sultry smile on her shimmery lips and a smug look in her eyes that made something akin to anger flare in Rea's chest. As if the older woman was looking straight at her and boasting at achieving what Rea could only dream about.
Looking at those pictures...Rea had to admit to the small ember of jealousy that burned in her stomach. She wanted to be able to wrap her arm around Reeve like that. To gaze up into his eyes and see that warmth and tenderness looking back at her.
And unfortunately for Rea, the rumors of Reeve and Scarlett spread like wildfire through Shinra's fertile grapevine. Sure Scarlett was a few years older than Reeve, but many people pointed out that it wasn't that much of an age gap. Then there were the counter-arguments that she had undeniable looks and 'experience', musing maybe it was something right up the soft-spoken man's alley.
The conversations down that particular path made Rea feel physically sick. Few were privy to just exactly how ruthless and abusive the lone female director was, and she had a hard time thinking anyone would find that...attractive, let alone her boss. Granted Reeve did his best not to speak too poorly about his peers, but she was sure she didn't imagine the scowl that graced his features whenever he returned from meetings with her. She had thought that Reeve disapproved of such things...but all the pictures of the two together and the gossip that followed suit made her start to question that maybe she was wrong?
It made her question if she was reading all the signs between her and her director wrong. Over the last few months, she had started hope that maybe this feeling wasn't quite as one-sided as she had first thought. But maybe he was just being kind and helpful and she was just seeing things through rose-colored glasses. Maybe she wasn't at all his type.
And if Scarlett was his type...did she really know him that well?
"Oh please," Reeve groaned, making Rea jump slightly in her chair as he entered the office and caught her flipping through the infamous magazine, "I will literally buy you a fire materia if you promise to burn that wretched thing.
"Sir?" She squeaked, not used to hearing him speak so...candidly. Never through the months of her 'research' had he commented so negatively. Usually, it was a bemused 'really?' Or a 'what are those scavengers lying about now?'
"Those pictures of me and Scarlett," he gestured tiredly. "I swear I am going to retch if I see another one. First I had to endure her pawing at me that entire night, and the nightmare only continues. 'Older and experienced, ha!' The woman is a money digging cougar."
Rea bit her lip trying to contain a smile as that sickly feeling evaporated. Everything suddenly seemed better, and the world once more made sense. Jealousy and doubt had really made her think crazy ideas. Reeve, interested in Scarlett? That was not the man she admired and respected. "...I do think they sell fire materia downstairs, actually…"
Reeve paused for a moment, his dark eyes meeting hers. His expression was serious, but she swore she could see some amusement and gratitude in them."Don't tempt me, because I don't know if I can resist."
Those words made butterflies flutter in her stomach, and she had to look away to regain her senses. The magazine was open to a page where Scarlett was pressed against his side, her cleavage prominent, and now she could see the reserved annoyance on her Director's face as he pointedly looked away from the woman. " ...usually I wouldn't condone such acts, however, this time is a little different." Rea gave a small impish smile as she looked back at him, and was delighted when he started to grin back at her.
"You, my dear, are the best," there was a pause as he glanced at the offending text. "...would you think any less of me if I asked you to use my account to buy the last of those magazines? I could reserve the SOLDIERS' VR training room for after hours. I think it's fireproof."
Rea was shocked by his words temporarily before realization sunk in. He really hated the rumors floating about him this.time, and it struck a nerve. Righteous anger flared along with determination.
"It would be my pleasure. In fact, I'll split the cost with you."
---
It was close to eight at night, and the bonfire of every magazine they could find reached into the simulated night sky. Was it petty? Possibly. Poor use of time to go to every floor and search for every copy they could find? Absolutely.
Did she regret any of it? Not a bit. She felt younger, lighter as she and Reeve snuck about after hours, taking turns keeping watch as the other sifted through the magazine in the numerous lounge areas, stuffing the offending copies into a bag.
Neither were very surprised when the reached the archives, and one of the many library bots merrily greeted them with a stack of magazines. "Scarlett is a whore," it chirped innocently, making them both break out in surprised laughter.
"You know the techs still don't know how or why those bots are 'faulty'," Reeve said as they left the archives, the thick stack split between them.
"Grandad mentioned they keep trying to fix them," she hummed. "Mr. Hart has caught newbie techs trying to hack their system so many times he thinks its a hazing rite."
"I wouldn't put it past them. Their funding for AI is geared towards military purposes, but many of them are interested in creating true Artificial Intelligence. And well, their programming was actually the basis for my own side project."
"You keep hinting at your side projects," she pouted playfully, feeling daring. "But you never talk about them much."
There was a playful light in Reeve's eyes as he winked down at her. "Maybe one of these days I'll introduce you."
---
While the techs of the VR room did give them odd looks, nothing was said as they brought in the bags of magazines and Reeve asked them to generate specific coordinates before they entered.
It always amazed Rea to watch the silver room give way to the virtual reality. The ceiling rippled into a cloudless night sky, the steel floor becoming gently rolling hills that led to a picture-perfect sandy beach. She could even taste the salty air of the ocean as the waves gently crashed near her feet.
"Where are we?" She asked as she helped pile the magazines into a decent mound.
"A beach not far from where I grew up," he answered easily, surprising her. "I spent many nights here stargazing when I was stuck on problems when I was younger. I admit, when I'm facing a challenging situation I'll use this place after hours to help brainstorm. It's still not quite the same though. Usually, you would be able to hear crickets chirping and the occasional seagull."
"Sounds beautiful." Rea pulled the new fire-materia from her pocket and held it kut to him once he was finished organizing the magazines into a suitable pile. "I believe you should have the honor, sir," she insisted when he hesitated. "All things considered."
He looked at the small green orb twinkling with an inner light, illuminating her plain but well-manicured nails. He placed his hand over hers, enveloping the materia.
"How about we do it together?" He offered. "Granted, I haven't dual-casted since I first learned how to use materia, but I think we could manage it."
Rea was thankful it was dark enough to hide the blush she felt creeping across her cheeks as she shifted to stand next to Reeve, their fingers brushing as they cradled the materia. "One...two…" Reeve counted, and on three she felt the magic flow into the materia. Dual casting was usually only used to teach another person how to use materia, because you had the odd sense of the other person's magic, and it was often too distracting to focus.
And it was very distracting, as well as oddly intimate to feel his magic mix with hers as fire erupted from the magazines. His careful arranging assured an even and thorough fire that reached up to the stars.
"I didn't think this would be this relaxing," Reeve admitted as they watched the pages begin to curl. While their arms were no longer stretched out, neither seemed willing to let go quite yet.
"Fire is rather cleansing," Rea replied softly, wondering if it was wrong of her to feel a little smug. Scarlett may have pushed Reeve into allowing her to hang off him against his will, but here she was, more or less holding hands with him...and he didn't seem at all bothered by her close proximity.
"It is… thank you," he added a moment later, looking down at her, his soft expression lit by the flames, "for indulging my moment of insanity."
"Happily sir," she tried for a light tone while her throat was blocked by her heart. Gaia, she though, he was handsome like this. Hair just a little messy, the weight and stress lifted from his shoulders and a true smile pulling at his lips. He looked so...happy. Content. And she was at least partly responsible.
Take that, Scarlett.
There was a long pause before Reeve cleared his throat. "So, um, I heard one of the techs from the science department had asked you out the other night."
"Oh, yeah." Rea wrinkled her nose at the memory of the man she had barely met trying to pressure her to go kut on a date when she had turned down all his subtle advances before.
"How did that go?"
"Mm, it didn't. He's not quite my type."
Rea was sure she imagined the relieved sigh and his shoulder relaxing. "Ah. Good. Well, I mean, I'm glad you know what your type is," he quickly added on, sounding a bit flustered, making her raise a brow. "It's good to know that. I think."
Rea laughed as she looked over at him, wondering if his cheeks were pink due to the fire. "What about you, sir? Do you know your type?"
He paused, his eyes meeting hers for a long moment. "I think I'm finally figuring it out."
"But it's not Scarlett?"
That made him laugh, the rich sound flowing over her along with the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the sand. "Oh Gaia, no. Absolutely not! The woman I like is...kind, and caring. She always puts others before herself, and can be a little bit of a hypocrite for lecturing others on their workaholic behaviors."
Rea's heart thumped in her chest and tried to keep her mind from jumping to conclusions. She forced herself to focus on where the tips of the flames met the night sky. "Sounds less like a type and more like an individual, sir."
"Yeah, maybe," he admitted quietly. A peek towards him revealed he was still looking at her with that expression from before. The same expression she had daydreamed of since this infatuation of hers begun.
Surely not. Surely she was just seeing things through rose-colored glasses again. Except his hand drifted from the materia to brush shyly against hers, almost to ask for permission.
Only to drop away as reality forced its way back in, the sky and ocean disappearing in a violent ripple. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" A scientist barged in, using a fire extinguisher to put out their makeshift bonfire as the two jumped away from each other. "YOU JUST CAN'T BURN THINGS INSIDE THE TOWER! WHAT WERE YOU TWO THINKING?!"
#Reeve Tuesti#reeve#Director Tuesti#Final Fantasy 7#final fantasy 7 remake#Reeve x assistant#Cait sith is briefly hinted at#So is Mayor Domino
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In Defense of Anakin Skywalker (and Hayden Christensen)
I grew up with Star Wars, my whole family loves Star Wars. I was 8 when I saw Episode I and afterwards, I was completely immersed in the Star Wars universe. Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi was probably my first fictional boyfriend and I'm unashamedly still in love with him too.
Episode II: The Attack of the Clones came out when I was 11 and so naturally I was excited to see the continuation of the Star Wars prequel universe. However, nothing could have prepared me for the absolute utter gorgeousness of Canadian actor, Hayden Christensen who was cast to play the adolescent Anakin Skywalker.
My memories of first seeing Episode II are fond because I got to see the movies with my older siblings while on vacation in Myrtle Beach. It was probably my first experience of being accepted among my older adult brothers and sisters or the feeling of 'grownupness' as I like to call it.
So Attack of the Clones has always been an special film to me because I saw it at a time when I was no longer being viewed as a child, but as a growing teenager.
It's also why I've always been rather defensive of the film too. While the film was titled Attack of the Clones, it may as well have been re-titled, "Attack of Anakin Skywalker (and subsequently, Hayden Christensen)". For over 20 years, there has been an absolute and indescribable hatred of Anakin Skywalker and many people blamed both Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen's supposed poor acting as the result of a badly done Anakin.
And to be honest even though I had a massive crush on Hayden Christensen and was hardly a movie critic at the time, I felt that at times that Anakin could have been better acted. However, I was young and didn't care about the script or the acting. Yet, for years I constantly defended, Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker and Hayden Christensen. Partly due to nostalgia, partly to being a teenage girl and most of all partly to do with understanding the character of Anakin as being misunderstood, misinterpreted and not being treated as an adult by the elders in his life.
Did Anakin have problems? Yes.
Were most of these problems his fault? No.
Did Anakin ever try to fix these problems and better himself? Everyday of his life.
He had nothing, but he gave everything
The prequels were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. Anakin's life is a story arch of sacrifice and redemption. Life has not always been good to Anakin. He was born a slave with no father. He was raised in the strong love of wonderful mother Shmi Skywalker. While Shmi may have been scared and confused as to how she conceived a child without a man, she raised her son in love and simple contentment.
Chances are Anakin and his mother probably faced terrible abuse in their time as slaves and more than once, Anakin may have been separated from Shmi as leverage for greedy slave owners. Although a slave, Anakin was never a victim. He may have been physically owned, but his heart and mind were free. He was his own person, always thinking outside of the box, building, creating, questioning everything and everyone. Not to mention a little wild and rather reckless.
Even as a child Anakin was a little strange to people. For a slave to have such a hopeful and positive attitude may have seemed bizarre to outsiders, but that was just the norm for him. Shmi once remarked that her son knew nothing of greed. For a boy raised with nothing, all he had were his talents as an inventor and growing pilot. And he used his talents for other people. He built C-3PO to help his mom, he entered the podrace to help Qui-Gon Jinn, he always gave without any expectation of being thanked.
A spirit that refused to surrender
After Anakin is freed and sent to train as a Jedi, that wild spirit was still intact. Much to his by-the-book master's dismay. Anakin didn't have the opportunity to grow up in the strict Jedi Temple that was built on order, rules and tradition. As a child, Anakin was use to being himself and not fitting into anyone's mold. His original dream was to be a pilot, not a Jedi. No one asked him if he wanted to be a Jedi, no one asked him if he wanted to be trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
While Anakin may have been grateful for both opportunities presented to him, overtime he may have seen this new life as not to different from the one he left. A life run by others. Telling him what to do, where to go, how to dress, how to behave. He survived as a slave because he dared to dream and imagine and refused to be defined by others.
Now he's thrown into a culture where individuality is looked down upon. He lived through the stifling Jedi order because he still held onto those qualities. He was going to be himself on his terms. He would nod his head and say yes when he needed to, but off the clock he would live by his own rules. Something that Obi-Wan and the Jedi order could not understand. And Anakin is getting frustrated by this.
So now we get to Attack of the Clones (and the Attack of Hayden Christensen). Critics came down hard on both Anakin and Hayden. Constantly complaining about Anakin's constant complaining, his tantrums, broodiness and being a crybaby about everything. Critics blamed the disaster of Anakin Skywalker on the terrible miscasting of Hayden Christensen. The only redeeming quality Hayden Christensen had that saved him was the fact he was so easy to look at.
For years, fans were desperate to know who Anakin Skywalker was. And so the pressure to deliver a good character that could measure up to the icon of Darth Vader may have seemed insurmountable. And so when people got this confused, overemotional 19 year old, who has no experience in love or sex, but is madly in love with a beautiful young women; and who wants to be respected in a highly established culture, without losing himself or conforming, well people were just disappointed. The disappointment can be explained in one of Anakin's most famous lines.
"HE'S HOLDING ME BACK!"
He, being George Lucas who was holding back Hayden's actual talent to create a good three dimensional character. Plus his bad script writing. Poor Hayden was just made to read lines on a page and somehow make this sad character somebody that people can root for. Unfortunately fans and critics ate him alive. It's only in recent years that people have begun to realize that they were blaming the wrong person. And by blaming Hayden, they were completely misunderstanding Anakin as a character.
His most beautiful gift, his most fatal flaw
Of all of Anakin's gifts, his ability to love deeply was probably his most profound and his most dangerous. The Jedi Temple forbade romantic attachments to others and for good reason. When you become attached to or love someone beyond the boundaries of platonic friendship you become afraid of losing them. The end of my review for the Star Wars prequels sums it up the best:
In The Phantom Menace, Yoda warns Anakin about the dangers of being afraid. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Anakin's most beautiful attribute is also his most fatal flaw. His ability to love deeply. Yet, if you love someone you will always live in fear of losing them. Anakin was created by darkness, but raised in the light of his mother's love. His own love was made manifest by Padme and then by their unborn child/children.
However, Love no matter how strong can be weakened and even be destroyed by the evil of fear. If the prequels taught anything about life, it taught how fear (even in its smallest form) can be be our most detrimental enemy. Living alone in fear and not seeking help is a signing of our own death warrants. What might have happened if Anakin had gone to Obi-Wan and seek his help? Would things have been different?
The prequels were not meant to tell a happy story. They were written as a timeline of a boy's journey from goodness into darkness. No, they don't have the silliness or humor of the Originals, because there is nothing humorous about someone's self-destruction. Yet, the story of Anakin Skywalker's transformation had to be told in a way that was real and heartbreaking.
To take Darth Vader and make him a human who could feel and understand and love could be an insurmountable task. Yet, you only need to watch his death scene at the end of Return of The Jedi to see that the humane part of Anakin Skywalker had always been there. The prequels were made to be built on that final scene of redemption and human love. A husband's love to save his wife became a father's love that could overcome darkness and hate. An extreme love that defied fear and held on to hope. That was the love of Anakin Skywalker.
Anakin could be a bratty and immature young adult. However, to only base a character by his few annoying flaws is overlooking the bigger and better picture. Anakin was an outsider his whole life and yet that never seemed to bother him. He never cared about fitting in. He was content being himself and he refused to let Obi-Wan or the Jedi Order or even Padme change him. He held onto who he was for as long as he was able to. Then the tragedy of losing his wife changed that. The indomitable spirit wasn't broken, it was destroyed. Anakin re-entered a life of slavery for over 20 years.
And he was ultimately freed by one person. An orphan who once had nothing but a talent as an inventor and dreams of being a pilot. A young Jedi with an unbreakable spirit that refused to surrender to evil or fear or pain or loss. A son who loved his father so deeply that he would fight to the death to free Anakin Skywalker forever.
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An Impromptu Proposal 26-27
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26. Sacrifice
Marinette had spent a good portion of the day making a huge, fancy meal for her and her husband. Today was the day that Adrien would be free of the company, having chosen a buyer and arraigned to meet with him today to sign the company over. Things were looking up for him. Now, he’d have more time on his hands to… well, first to relax and recover from all this superhero drama, then figure out something else he wanted to do with his life.
When he came through the door, he collapsed back against it, looking paler than he should be. Marinette was quick to abandon her cooking, hurrying over and wrapping her arms around him, partly to welcome him home, and partly because he looked like he could pass out at any given second. “Hey, how’d today go?”
“Lila confessed my father was Hawkmoth before her.”
Marinette blinked at her husband, somehow thinking she couldn’t be hearing correctly. “What?”
“The police went to go pick him up today.”
Her heart swelled with sympathy. “Oh, kitty…”
He sniffed, tears welling in his eyes.
She hugged him tighter, holding him for a while in silence. He clung to her, barely being held together by anything other than her touch.
“Well,” she said after a long while, only once she was sure he wasn’t on the verge of breaking down. “I made you dinner to celebrate today, but… how about we build a blanket fort in bed and snuggle while we eat?”
He sniffed once, before huffing out a weak chuckle. “Really?”
“Of course. I know my kitty loves snuggles.”
“I do.”
“Then how about it?”
“I think it sounds nice.”
She smiled. “Okay. Then how about you get started on the fort and I’ll put two plates of food together?”
“I like that idea.”
“Okay,” she said. “Then you’re gonna have to let me go for a moment.”
He didn’t. “Give me a minute.”
She didn’t argue; she just continued to hold him. “Okay. Take however long you need.”
…
It was all over the news by the next day. Last week, the media had been in a frenzy when Ladybug and Chat Noir had announced on the Ladyblog that Mayura had surrendered. But then the media became obsessed over Lila being Butterlie. That was the only thing they could talk about for days. After all, she’d been a media darling. People loved her for reasons Marinette couldn’t understand. But now, that high pedestal she had been on had crumbled, leaving her in the ruins and leaving her fans devastated.
Now, with Gabriel being exposed to be the former Hawkmoth, everything was spiraling downhill faster than Marinette could blink. Her husband was on the brink of losing his sanity with all the news stations wanting an interview with him and the Agreste name being smeared every which way. And then there was a very disgruntled buyer who was none too happy to have a now floundering company on his hands. He had called Adrien afterwards, demanding the deal be called off, but Adrien had just directed the man to his lawyer before hanging up the phone.
After a short conversation with her husband, Marinette had quit the company alongside many other workers. With the company being sold as well as it coming to light that Gabriel had been Hawkmoth, there’d been a good number of people deciding to leave. Marinette decided that for Adrien’s sake, it would be best if she didn’t associate herself with that company anymore. She’d find work elsewhere; Adrien had insisted she was plenty talented enough. But she also decided she’d go back to work only after she had enough down time to recover from all this chaos.
Honestly, Marinette was very sick of it all.
“So, I think you were talking about a two-week vacation?” Marinette asked one day after she had been forced to turn off the radio in her car because every single station was talking about the same thing at the same time. She swore if she heard one more station talking about the supervillains and how amazing Chat Noir and Ladybug were for all their sacrifice for the city, she was going to scream.
“Yeah,” Adrien said. “I was.”
“Could we make it, like… three weeks? To somewhere that doesn’t get a radio signal. Or phone signal… or wifi.”
Adrien chuckled. “I think that sounds like a fantastic idea.”
“How soon do you think we could get it?”
Adrien hummed. “With a couple calls, I’ll have us on a flight tomorrow.”
“Sounds perfect.”
...
27. Comfort
Adrien booked a flight out of Europe for the two of them. He honestly wanted to be as far away from all the chaos as he could be. Far away from all the superhero nonsense and his father and everything.
Marinette swore she didn’t care where they went, meaning that when he told her to get her passport, she was giddy with excitement. Honestly, his wife’s enthusiasm was a huge pick-me-up, helping him forget his troubles by giving him something else to focus on.
“To be honest,” Marinette said as they were driving to the airport. “I thought you would maybe book a vacation somewhere tropical and by the water. That seems like the kinda thing that rich people do.”
Adrien snorted at that. “Really?”
“Yeah. I just feel like every super wealthy person has sat on a beach somewhere in the sun while making a phone call while pretending not to be on the beach.”
“I mean… I have done that.”
“Case and point.”
“But I thought going to China and seeing the sights and country would be interesting. And it’s a language I speak.”
“I cannot believe that the white boy can speak mandarin better than the half-Chinese girl,” Marinette mumbled.
Adrien laughed at that. “Think of this as a learning opportunity.”
“I think of it as embarrassing.”
Adrien reached over to grab his wife’s hand. “You’ll be fine. No one will care.”
Marinette grunted. “I hope so. Last thing I need to do is be laughed out of China.”
…
It took a while to adjust to the time change as well as adjust to the fact they had spent a day and a half just traveling. And even though they were in the beautiful countryside of China, they did not want to leave their hotel.
More specifically, the bed.
Marinette was running her fingers through her husband’s hair as he dozed, his head on her shoulder and arm slung around her waist. She was two steps away from falling asleep herself. She hadn’t realized just how hard things had been in Paris the last couple weeks. Everything had ended so suddenly, quickly, and with a bang. The news was overwhelming. and she hadn’t had time to fully process that they would no longer have to fight akumas anymore. Things were over.
It was all over.
Now, she could live a normal life with her husband who had once been her superhero partner. He would always be her partner, but now… now they didn’t have to play superhero anymore.
That was going to be hard to process.
“What’s wrong, bug?”
Marinette glanced down at her husband who hadn’t moved from his spot. “How do you know something’s wrong?”
“You got really tense and stopped petting me.”
“Sorry,” she said, running her hands through his hair once again.
“What’s wrong?” he asked again.
“It’s nothing.”
“Liar.”
“You’re not even looking at me.”
“I still know when you’re a liar.”
She hummed in surrender. “You know me too well.”
“Hazards of being superhero partners and best friends for nine years. Spill.”
“I guess everything is just hitting me. Like… it’s over.”
He finally shifted, propping himself up on his elbow so as to meet her gaze. “I know. My body is still wired, too.”
“So much has happened.”
“I know.”
“We can live normal lives now.”
“What does normal even look like?”
“Heck if I know.”
Adrien chuckled. “Well, that will have to be our next big adventure.”
“Figuring out what ‘normal’ is?”
“Yup. Most I’ve got is we find work and raise a family and that all that superhero jazz isn’t involved.”
“I think that’s a good start,” Marinette agreed. “But after we spend these three weeks unwinding from nine years of this superheroing stuff suddenly ending in the span of a week.”
With a sigh, Adrien collapsed on his back beside Marinette. “Is still can’t believe it,” he said, rubbing his hands down his face. “Like… we were running at full force for so long and suddenly, everything came screeching to a stop and the world crashed down around us and it feels suffocating to weed through, you know?”
“I do,” Marinette assured, rolling over so she was the one laying on his shoulder now. She reached over to grab his hand, holding it tightly. “I know that learning your dad was Hawkmoth couldn’t have been easy. Or that Nathalie was Mayura and that they were working together. And with Lila, to boot.”
“How long does it take to process the fact that your only remaining family were both supervillains who, at one point in time, tried to kill you on a daily basis?”
“I don’t think that’s a scar that will ever fully heal,” she said.
“I hate to agree with that, but I think you’re spot on.”
“Was that pun intended or coincidental?”
“I think they just pop out habitually now.”
“Yeah, I believe that.”
They slipped into a comfortable silence, relishing being here with the other, both safe and well and together.
“I’m so thankful for you,” Adrien eventually said, giving her hand a squeeze. “You have no idea how thankful I am to have you be in my life, to be by my side, through all this.”
“I’m glad to be here with you, Adrien,” she returned. “I don’t think there could be anyone else I would have rather gone through all of this with.”
“Yeah, but Marinette, I’m talking about how thankful I am that you… you’re here with me now, after finding out my dad was… It’s just a comfort that I have you and you won’t abandon me or—”
“Oh, kitty,” she cooed, taking his cheeks in her hands, rubbing her thumbs in slow circles.
“Thank you,” he finished. “For being my family.”
She felt like she could cry looking at the raw, open, broken expression on Adrien’s face and feeling the earnestness of his words. “Of course, my love. I’m so thrilled to be your family. And so so thankful to be able to be by your side. I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know,” he said, a tear slipping down his cheek. “And that is more of a comfort than you’ll ever know.”
#miraculous ladybug#fanfiction#ladynoir july 2019#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#these poor kids#hurt/comfort
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