#this is the ugliest thing i've ever made and trust me there's a LOT of competition there

[irishmammonagenda]

Death is a Debatable Thing-Obey Me x Reader

Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as an angel, as per usual; chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: Mention of Death, Cursing, Torture (mentioned, no torture happens) Michael is featured heavily in this, I just made up a personality for him, I don't play NB a lot (it makes me too sad) and I think he shows up there so if this is different to how he's portrayed there then L for me. Everyone except Luke was written as and can be read as Romantic(/platonic if you prefer)You can read Michael as Romantic, but I wrote him more Platonically.

post dividers from @saradika-graphics on tumblr (their dividers r really cool check them out if u havent fr (sorry for tagging you btw i just wanted to give credit)

"Absolutely not." You say, looking at your new found wings. "I did not die just to be reincarnated with the ugliest clothing I've ever seen."

"Would you have preferred to have been reincarnated as bare as Eve was in Eden?" The man you'd come to know as Michael. His dark skin shone in the blessed light of the celestial realm, his thick curly hair was pinned back in such a delicate fashion you wanted to unpin all the ornaments in it. Your fingers twitched at your sides.

"Isn't that against modesty rules or something...?" You paused, Simeon was an angel, he essentially had his ass out at all times anyway. Whore.

Michael stares at you weirdly, before playing with one of the loose strands of his hair, pulling the tight coil until it was completely straight before letting go and letting it spring back up again. Now you really wanted to mess up his hair. Just to annoy him.

"So anyway..." You start, sitting on a cloud that you fall through. For a moment you think you're about to pull a Lucifer and fall through the sky, but you manage to grab onto something and pull yourself up. That something is Michael's ankle and he's laughing at you, wiping a tear from ruby red eyes that shine just like that of his fallen brother.

"Stop laughing at me! Anyway, when can i go to the Devildom?" You inquire, watching Michael's face turn stern. He glares down at where you're lying, still gripping his ankle

"You're not returning to the Devildom anytime soon." He says sharply.

Your breath hitches. "Why not?! I have to let the brothers and Dia and Barbs and Sol and everyone else know I didn't die!"

"You did die. Why do you think you're an angel." Michael sighs, "and no. You're not letting them know you've returned."

"Why not?!" You repeat, outraged. "No offence though MC, but you´ve just died." "So?" You reply with indignation. "So," Michael says in a mocking tone, pitching his deep voice up high before letting it fall down the octaves once more. "You're barely able to walk on clouds or do anything yet. Letting you down to the Devildom is the equivalent of sending a baby bird into a den of lions."

"But...they'd protect me." You said softly, Michael's tone softens as well, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"They'd also over-protect you, they've just lost you. I don't think you're ready for that smothering just after your death."

You nod. Michael's soft expression turns devious, "Plus, this way, you have plenty of time to think about how youre going to scare my broth-...the brothers and everyone else whilst proving you're alive...well an angel..."

You grin too. "Amazing point Mr Michael."

He plays with his golden locks again, an idiosyncracy. "Anytime" He grins before beginning to walk again, you grab onto his ankle tighter. "Oh and Mc?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me Mr Michael again and I'm shaving all you hair off. And trust me. Angel hair does not grow back." He smiles evilly. You shudder.

Well it turns out Michael is a fucking liar.

After being a little bit too bored during your second month of being an angel and first month of learning not to fall through the clouds in Michael's private garden that consists purely of clouds and a singular harp he stole from some poor Irish Deity, you go bored and snipped your unnaturally long angel hair up to your waist. You didn't want to go too short just yet.

In the time frame of a week you learnt two things.

One: Angel hair does grow back, maybe a tiny bit faster than human hair, and Two, Michael was babysitting the harp. Turns out the Deity was called the Dagda and he was visiting France on holidays for some reason, poor man, having to go to France and deal with all the French People there. Turns out he left the harp in Michael's hands, something about Fomoranians not being smart enough to see this one coming.

You just nodded and slowly backed away. Michaels red eyes followed you. He and Lucifer had to be twins.

Another day passed. The more you thought about it, the more Michael and Lucifer had to be twins. After having cut your hair to just below your shoulders, you found a piece of unnecessarily fancy parchment paper and a quill on Michael's desk

Holding the black quill in your hands you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. Was that?....

No fucking way.

Michael was using one of Lucifer's feathers as a quill. You cackled.

After much deliberation you'd realised you could not write with a quill, but also that you were very good at ripping paper and making blotches of ink on said paper with a quill.

You decided to snoop in Michael's desk for a pen, instead you found a drawer titled, 'LUKE ONLY' in cursive letters, the label was stuck to the drawer so obviously you opened it.

Colouring books, letters written by Luke from the Devildom, Report Cards, Crayons, Drawings, and a pack of stickers were left in the drawer, a notepad lay next to it, Michael's cursive handwriting all over it 'Activities to do', it had things like 'Bowling' and 'Baking' and 'Gardening' and 'Teach him how to knit' and 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Prank Jesus' and 'Take him to Human Realm Cinema' and and anything else really. You cooed, your ivory wings rustling happily.

You grabbed a crayon and began to write.

WHY MICHAEL AND LUCI ARE TWINS one; same eyes two; both evil three; both hot four; satan is basically luci's son if you think about it and michael has blond hair too, if luci and michael are twins that means that blond hair is in the gene pool and thats how satn has blond hair even though luci has black hair five; both like wearing dramatic cape coat things six; both of them baby luke seven; they ha

"What are you doing?" Michael asks, startling you, and ruining your next point of 'they have hands', "Why is my drawer open?" He grabs the parchment from you, reads it and bellows out in laughter.

"We are twins you could've asked." He smiled, "also put the crayon back thats Red and Luke likes colouring in Teddy Bears red."

"Yessir."

You were a master conspiracy theorist.

In the end, you and Michael had decided on visiting the Devildom for 'diplomatic' reasons, but upon seeing the glint in his eyes it was probably more for 'dicklomatic' reasons seeing as he's an utter dickhead.

You had a veil covering your face, seeing as you were still kind of legally and widely believed to be dead.

You know, the usual.

You walked behind Michael, attempting to kick at the back of his knees, it never worked sadly. You took a deep breath as you reached the RAD council room doors.

Michael grabs you by your shoulders whispering into your ear. "Now remember MC im going to use you as a bargaining tool, so keep that veil on till i say so, got it?" He grins.

You nod, knowing that 'bargaining tool' in Michaelish translates to 'im bored and want to see a dramatic reunion'

Michael opens the doors.

You walk in with him but stand at the door awkwardly, steeling yourself so you don't immediately run into any of your idiots' arms.

Luke apparently had the same idea, as when he saw Michael, he let out a happy 'yip!' kind of sound similar to a puppy's and then ran from where he stood beside Simeon and Solomon into the Archangel's arms.

Michael catches him happily, petting his head as the young angel nuzzles into his hair, blabbering on about who knows what. Asmo takes a photo of it, everyone else stares with varying levels of fondness, awkwardness and 'meh'.

Sadly for you however, once Simeon is done greeting Michael, and Michael is now distracted by Luke introducing him to Barbatos who is apparently the 'bestest baker in the world!' (you could agree with that sentiment), Simeon walked over to you, his serene smile on his face.

"Hello, I'm Simeon, forgive me for asking, but do I know you? You have a familiar aura."

You shake your head.

"Oh, never the matter" Simeon smiles, "What's your name then. my friend?"

You clear your throat and put on a deep american accent, "Rupert...Pleasure to meet you...Simeon.."

"Are you sure we haven't met before?"

"Certain." You say in the same ridiculous voice.

Simeon nods, he excuses himself after Solomon calls him over, you turn to glance at Michael who is carrying a now sleeping Luke in his arms and gently stroking the boy's golden hair while stressing out Lucifer with questions. Satan looks on with a smirk on his face.

Glancing around the room you see similar scenes, Mammon and Levi are playing a game on the latter's switch, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are talking, sometimes glancing at you. Barbatos and Diavolo were watching Michael annoy Lucifer, with both sometimes adding their input, causing Michael to laugh loudly then stiffle it, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. Beel and Belphie were near the others but still off in their own twin world, Belphie was awake and watching Michael bully Lucifer from where his head laying sleepily on his twin's leg.

Raphael, Thirteen and Mephisto had been sent out on a top secret mission the day before, Michael had said it was because he didnt want to die and also did not want his death to be put in the RAD Newspapers, especially a picture of him that was less than flattering.

Even though everyone seemed joyous, you noticed an air of sadness, like something was missing. Looking at your old seat in the student council you see the amount of flowers set on it.

Against your better judgement, you walk towards it. Not noticing a few pairs of eyes following you.

When you reach your former desk, you notice a photo of you framed, it was you and everyone, a family photo, everyone was either in their demon, angel or reaper forms, you wore really cheap red horns with a halo you shoved on one of them whilst also wearing an old reaper robe. It looked ridiculous, you loved it.

"Enjoying yourself? Rupert.~" a honeyed voice startles you. Asmo, although, somethings in his voice, maybe anger, maybe suspicion.

"Uhhh.." You say in your fake american accent.

"I'm Asmodeus, avatar of lust.~ Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Guess so." You shrug Americanly, thankful once more the veil covers your whole face.

Asmo's eyes have some hurt in them, he seems...catty, probably because you, who he thinks is a random stranger is just standing at his dead loved one's desk.

L.

You open your mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, especially not when another familiar voice is added to the mix.

"Well hello. I don't believe we've met before. The name's Solomon. You must've heard of me."

Oh shit.

"Oh...I have, briefly! Hello Solomon, my name's Robert." You say in your fake deep american accent voice.

Asmo tilts his head, "I thought your name was Rupert?"

Shit.

"Oh. Yes" You quickly bullshit, "My name's got the hyphens, Robert-Rupert." You avoid eye contact despite the fact you have a veil covering your face that only lets you see out of it, so the sorcerer and demon can't even make eye contact with you, even if they wanted to.

This was getting awkward.

"You seem very familiar Robert-Rupert." Solomon says, you did not like that crafty smile.

"I get that a lot." You nod before walking away.

You walk towards Michael who, has a now awake but sleepy Luke in his arms, he sits on one of the sofas in the council room beside Simeon, with Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer facing them on the other sofa. Atleast you'll be safe from Solomon over here. As you walk, you notice Satan, Beel and Belphie have left. Either Lucifer was going to get pranked or Lucifer was going to get pranked but not as prankily because Beel unknowingly made puppy-eyes. Mammon and Levi were bickering quietly in a corner (shocking they could do it quietly) about who won the lat round of Devilio kart.

When Michael saw you approaching he waved you over, beckoning you to sit down in the empty space beside him, "This is an angel I'm currently training, their name is.....Steven."

Simeon tilts his head "I thought their name was Rupert?"

Michael clears his throat awkwardly.

You make your voice the deep horrible American accent, "My full name is Robert-Rupert-Steven...it's hyphenated."

Michael nods aggressively.

Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos side-eye eachother. Something was going on here.

"So, Robert-Rupert-Steven," Barbatos begins, his polite smile a little jagged at the edges, "I saw you at MC's desk earlier, how so?"

At the mention of your actual name, everyone there tenses up, Luke, thankfully is too sleepy to have realised, Michael quickly stands up with the small angel in his strong arms, knowing if he heard the conversation about to occur he would be upset, "I should probably go, give this one a walk around to wake him up a little. Simeon, would you like to come with me?"

Simeon nods, Michael and Him leave the council room, with Luke sleepily holding both of their hands and walking slowly along with them.

Now you were stuck with the Prince of the Devildom, the Scary Butler and the Scary Single-Dad. All of which haven't realised that it's you, and all of which thinking you are a random stranger.

"Well, Robert-Rupert-Steven?" Diavolo asks, his friendly demeanor the tiniest bit strange,"What captivated you to go towards MC's desk."

"Who's MC?" You decide to play it dumb. Bad decision, seeing as all three stiffen, Barbatos' being the most unnoticeable.

A very long 3 hour conversation went by, wherein, Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos as well as a certain Mammon and Levi who joined 10 minutes in, and an Asmo and Solomon who joined 12 minutes in talked about you, for 3 hours straight.

'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.' was an accurate reprenstation of your mental state actually.

The urge to just rip your veil off right there was almost stronger than the urge to dropkick Maddi anytime you remembered she existed. Keyword being almost.

You just about made it out of the council room with your life. Now for your master plan. Scare the absolute shit out of the Anti-Lucifer-League. That'll get them back for never listening to your amazing prank suggestion of leaving random origami swans around the house in random spots. It was genius!

Breaking into the House of Lamentation was always easy when you knew that Mammon hid his emergency house key behind the garden gnome that now you saw it....kind of looked like a really bad rendition of Michael. With its dark skin, A DnD-esque robe and, a horrible smiley face painted on it, and the worst crime of all, bright yellow, almost neon hair, and also a princess tiara.

You almost cackled.

Taking the key you slowly open the door to the kitchen and sneakily sneak in. Sadly for you, it was they key to the kitchen door to the outside of the back of the house, which meant it opened in the kitchen, and since it opened in the kitchen, you awkwardly waved at Beel, who was having a midnight feast.

Beel tilts his head. "You're the Angel from earlier. What are you doing here?"

You once more, fake your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice and say, "I have Materials for the Anti-Lucifer League as they've suggested."

You are such a good liar.

"Oh," Beel nods, normally he wouldn't let a stranger into the house, but something felt...familiar...and safe with you. "Okay then, do you know where you're going?"

"Yes."

Beel nods, and goes back to eating the pudding labelled 'MAMMONS: BEEL DONT TOUCH THESE'

After much searching, you do not find the Anti-Lucifer-League, but you do unfortunately, open the door to Lucifer's office. The place where Lucifer currently is.

He looks up immediately on guard. You are not prepared to die a second time,

"What are you-" He begins, in demon form and standing up.

You interrupt him, making 'woooooh!' sounds and waving your arms about, and in your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you say "Wooooh! I am the....ghost of christmas past!...Woooh! and I am..." You pause, not noticing your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice has began to slip away, and your natural one has taken its place. "I am here to tell youuuuu.....to woohhhh! Take breaks more! Woooh!....and not overwork yourself! Woooh!"

Lucifer pauses, the danger in his eyes fades into disbelief. He knows that voice. He's spent the better part of a year listening to recordings of that voice and praying to his Father for the first time since the celestial war for that voice to return to him.

"..MC?.."

You've been found out. Quickly you put your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice back on, except it's gone up 12 pitches. "Who's MC?! Haha! What a weird thing to sa-"

You don't get to finish, as Lucifer pulls your veil off. His breath hitches upon seeing your face.

Your covers been blown. All because you pretended to be the ghost of Christmas past. Great.

Lucifer immediately pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you, as if he's afraid you'd disappear. He chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes, his frame shakes. "I thought-thought I'd lost you forever...I always thought your face was angelic...-...it's fitting."

You hug him just as tightly.

But ever the menace, after about an hour or so, you look up at the Avatar of Pride, "Say, Luci?"

"Yes, my dove?"

"Wanna help me prank the rest of them?"

"Perhaps...I might help with...some setups..." He pauses, "You are telling Barbatos outright though."

You shudder. "Of course I am. I don't have a second deathwish."

Lucifer's grip on you tightens slightly, you kiss his cheek in apology. "Sorry," You grin, "Too soon?"

"Try again in another century dear."

The next day, the first thing you and Lucifer do is travel to the Demon Lord´s Castle.

Barbatos greets you in the Entrance Hall, "Oh, Lucifer," He nods in greeting at the eldest of the brothers (second eldest actually, seeing as Michael enjoys bragging that he's older by a whopping total of 2 minutes) he turns to you, who put the veil back on, "And Robert-Rupert-Steven, Welcome to the Demon Lord's Castle, although, I must ask, why you have shown up today?"

In your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you accidentally, against your better judgement, and rather impulsively state; "I'm here to assassinate Dia-...volo."

A portal opens, dragging you through it, and you land in the feared rumoured dungeons. Barbatos follows gracefully, now in Demon Form. Leaving a sighing Lucifer in his wake in the Entrance Hall. He decides to just journey to Diavolo's office and discuss things related to work. Barbatos wouldn't hurt you when he found out it was you so he really had nothing to worry about. Maybe you'd finally learn to stop joking about assassinating Diavolo, especally when other Noble Demons were around at Balls.

Sadly for you, you were now alone in Barbatos' Dungeons. Now what's scarier than being alone in Barbatos' Dungeons? Being alone with Barbatos in Barbatos' dungeons.

Time to run away.

As it turns out, running away isn't very easy when magic chains pin you to the wall. In your panic, you blurt out, "You know, I'd rather you pin me to the wall haha!" in your normal voice. The fear forcing your horrible puns and jokes to slip out.

Barbatos, who had been approaching menacingly calmly with a torture device pauses so fast it gives you whiplash. (Better than getting whiplash from the whip he was previously holding.)

In some display akin to a cockroach kind of squirming about after you crush it, in your chained up state you manage to twitch enough that you were able to pinch a piece of your veil's fabric just enough that it falls to the ground.

Immediately, the magic chains fall away, strong arms catch you as you stumble. "Hi Barbs..." You say breathlessly.

Barbatos looks like he'd seen a ghost. (You were an Angel, thank you very much.) After your death he had tried and tried to pull a you from another dimension. It would never work, some force stopped him each time. (To be fair, it was probably your jealous ass. No way in Diavolo were you being replaced by yourself from another dimension.)

His bottom lip trembles, much like the rest of his body, as he leans in, "May I, my dear?" You nod, giving him your consent as he kisses you so gently, as if he feared you would break or fade away.

He murmurs apology upon apology for the fact he had no doubt frightened you, he couldn't risk a threat to Diavolo, your 'death' had left him a little...tethered and emotional.

You close your eyes and kiss him again, now noticing you're in the kitchens and not in the spooky scary dungeon.

"Wanna bake cookies? Like we always used to do?"

Barbatos nods softly. "You do have to tell Lord Diavolo you're actually alive though, little lamb."

Your eyes light up. "We could make a cake! And hide me inside it!"

Barbatos sighs, but looking at your puppy eyes, he agrees. Gently he picks a stray ivory feather from your wings, making them rustle at the touch. Devil...you looked angelic.

Baking with Barbatos was always fun, but sadly he did not agree with your attempt at throwing flour at him.

"MC?" He catches your attention, bringing an ungloved hand to caress your face, "Have I ever told you that you shine brighter than all the stars in the Devildom?"

You blush and try to cover your face when he turns away to add more eggs into your batter only to find flour on your face. That sneaky bastard! Psychological warfare is illegal. And that sure felt like it.

It was on.

Apparently it was only on for you though. Though you did get a speck of flour on Barbatos' apron. That was a win, especially if you ignore the fact that your face and apron were covered in the white powder, which you were ignoring! So take that Barbatos!

In the end, the cake was beautiful, Barbatos helped you into the cake, and cut out a you shaped hole out of the layers made.

He then helped you out again, and the Flour War began again only this time with icing.

Hiding in a cake is quite a fun experience. Especially when you can take bites of your hiding space. Yum yum.

You feel Barbatos' wheeling of you stop as he reaches Diavolo's office, he knocks on the door, and as you requested, begins to film on his DDD (you had to promise the video would never get out of your hands.)

Diavolo sat alone, Lucifer had had to leave an hour before, Beel had went on a rampage in Hell's Kitchen again apparently.

"My Lord, I feel you have been feeling down, so here is a treat." Barbatos says, "And as a special treat, I will allow you to cut it yourself." He nods at Diavolo who you can just picture has stars in his eyes as you hear the demon butler walk to a corner of the room, still filming.

Diavolo brings the knife to the cake, as it cuts into it, you grab the blade and pull it forward. Upon hearing Divaolo's confused murmurs, You peek through the tiny hole the knife made, seeing Diavolo distracted, tilting his head like a child and asking Barbatos what he should do now.

You however know what you should do now.

Quick as a flash, you shove your hands through the cake, reach for Diavolo's arms and pull him in face first.

You didn't even care if it was probably treason. Diavolo's suprised screaming and Barbatos' slight surprised chuckle was so worth it.

It was worth it for Diavolo even after 4 hours, as he held you in his big arms, whilst the both of you were still covered in cake. Barbatos, the traitor, snapped photos of this and sent them to Lucifer.

On a great note, Diavolo agreed to help prank the rest of the brothers with you, much to Barbatos' dismay. (The butler was definitely going to help you with a certain sorcerer, however)

After a night and day at the castle and a very extensive bath, you recollected your veil, and snuck out (read: Barbatos and Diavolo waved goodbye to you and gave you some left over cake for the journey home) of the castle, you began your walk to Purgatory Hall.

Michael was staying there, and you needed to tell him everyone's reactions so far.

It was also a Saturday, meaning that Solomon would be out in Sorcerer's society meetings all night and morning.

When you got there you made use of the tree there and climbed up it until you saw something in Luke's room. You paused your climbing and looked in through the window.

Two figures were in the Young Angel's room.

As Luke lay tucked in in his bed, cuddling the dog plushie that Mammon had given him at a carnival last year that he claims to have thrown away, Michael and Simeon sat on his bed, the nightlight on the boy's bedside table created a gentle glow that the two elder were using to read the storybook strew across both of their laps aloud, they appeared to be acting it out ever so slightly. When Luke finally drifted off. Both Angels kissed his forehead then dimmed the nightlight down slightly, dim enough where it wouldn't hurt the boy's eyes but bright enough that the dark wouldn't scare him if he woke up in the middle of the night, keeping the curtains open for added light.

You cooed silently, your white wings rustling.

Snapping out of it, you scale across the wall before finding the spare room Michael was staying in and breaking in.

"Hello Motherfucker." You greet the Archangel.

"You couldn't pay me to fuck your mother."

"Harsh. And here I was about to tell you my escapades..." You sigh dramatically. Michael immediately smiles sweetly. Buttering you up. You cave.

After about an hour of Michael laughing at you specifically, and then changing your contact to 'ghost of christmas past' the bastard finally fell asleep.

Feeling thirsty, you snuck downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink, and also a sharpie so you could draw a mustache on Michael's face. Not bothering to put your veil on seeing as no one would be awake anyway.

As you filled up a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter drinking it, lost in your own plans, mainly of who to prank nest and how to do it.

You don't hear the little pitter-patter of feet until it's too late.

"MC?" A sleepy Luke stands in the doorway in cat themed pajamas no doubt gifted to him by a certain someone, he holds his dog plush loosely as he rubs his eyes with a tiny fist.

He walks slowly towards the cupboard, pouting sleepily when he realises he can't reach it, you immediately grab his favourite mug,(the one with the red tractor on it) knowing to put milk and some sugar in it before placing it in the microwave for 2 minutes.

Luke walks over to you still half asleep, resting his face on your side, you bring him in for a hug. "Simeon said you went to a happy place after you left, he always got sad when I asked when you were coming home..."

You bite your lip and speak softly, "My flight got delayed for a little while," You lie. Luke didn't need to know you died, Simeon hadn't told him in the best of ways to shield the young boy, that worked out in your favour.

You catch the microwave before it beeps, taking the warm milk out and stirring the hot-spots out of it before handing it to Luke. With his teddy now in the crook of his elbow, he sleepily took the mug before putting his tiny hand in yours.

"C'mon Luke, let's get you back to bed." You say softly, he nods tiredly.

"Will you tuck me in? And read me a bedtime story?" He yawns quietly.

"Of course."

After closing his curtains and tucking Luke in, he snuggles up to you and you read him a bedtime story, after drinking his warm milk, he falls asleep quite quickly, so do you.

A mistake, really. Seeing as in the morning when Simeon comes in to wake the small angel up and sees you there he lets out a shriek very out-of-character for him.

A shriek which wakes both you and Luke up.

Luke smiles toothily, "Oh Simeon! MC came back last night! Did you not see?"

Simeon collects himself, "I must've been asleep Luke, why don't you get dressed then come down for breakfast? Michael and I made pancakes. M-MC, why don't you come downstairs now?"

Luke nods and gets up dutifully.

As soon as you leave the room and Simeon is sure you're both out of the earshot of Luke, he pulls you into a hug which you return.

"I thought I'd lost you.." He breathes out softly.

"Me? C'mon Simmy...you know I'd never let death keep me." You laugh, he laughs breathlessly.

"I suppose not...." He captures your lips in a soft innocent kiss before leading you downstairs, hand-in-hand.

When Michael sees the two of you he offers you a pancake, far too casually for Simeon's taste.

Simeon looks between the two of you and glares at Michael. "You knew about this."

"Haha! Funny story actually! I need to go help Jesus! He's gone and ventured into another desert!" Michael laughs nervously before booking it, only coming back when Luke appears, knowing then he's safe from Simeon's wrath....

....for now.

You took out your super serious napkin and crayon that you stole from Diavolo (read: Diavolo gave you) and crossed out Simeon's name.

Your list was now as follows:

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

For Satan and Belphie, you could knock out two Anti-Lucifer-League Birds with one stone. It felt a little mean to prank prank Levi and Beel...Mammon and Asmo were debatable, but you were going all out on Solomon. That'll teach him to turn you into a sheep that one time 2 years ago.

After careful deliberation and planning, (20 seconds of thinking.) You'd decided to sneak into the Sorceror's society and jokingly attempt to assassinate Solomon, and maybe fully assassinate Maddi if she was there. Not maybe, definitely.

Veil over your head, you walked in, when the sorcerer guards stopped you, you just pretended to be Michael then walked further in. Apparently they were terrified of the Archangel. Damn this society needs better sorcerers securitying it.

After stealing schedules you realised Solomon would be in a meeting right now with a bunch of no names. Oh well.

You crept into the meeting and attempted to plunge the butter knife Barbatos' gave you from the castle kitchens specifically for this in his neck, knowing he'd dodge. "This is for the Sheep Potion you Rat Bastard!" You screech like a Bean Sídhe. After half a millisecond of shock and slight anger, Solomon realises who it is behind the veil, laughing he grabs the arm you're holding the butter knife in and drags you into his lap, gently ripping the veil off of you and giving you a peck on the forehead, before he turns to the shocked and slack-jawed sorcerers that looked older than he did. "Sorry all, my adorable partner," He puncuates the word partner by pulling you closer to him, "missed me a little too much. and has-" He kisses you on the lips passionately for a moment, leaving you very much breathless and him very much chuckling, "-strange ways of showing their affection."

Bastard.

Some time into the meeting you whisper, "How are you not more shocked?"

"Well Robert-Rupert," He whispers teasingly back to you, "Remember that binding spell we did back when you were alive? It never broke. I knew the moment I saw you."

Your heart stops. "Did you tell anyone else?"

"I debated telling Asmo, but I suppose you wanted to on your own terms." He teases.

"I should've tried to stab you with a sharper knife."

Solomon laughs, "Oh and MC my love?"

"Hmm?"

His eyes glint predatorily, "You look absolutely ravishing as an angel. I can't help but want to corrupt you..."

You bury your face in his chest to hide your blush.

Bastard.

On the bright side, now a rumour that Solomon the Wise and Michael the Archangel are secret lovers has spread around the Devildom. You're counting that as a win.

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

After your encounter with Solomon, you'd decided learning to just hide your angel form was the best course of action. Luckily it was fucking easy and you could've done it ages ago. Strange how Simeon and Luke never mentioned it....meh. You're pretty sure Luke just thought Michael thought you were super cool so he made you an angel. You weren't telling him anything otherwise.

´Satan and Belphie watch your fucking backs.´ was the pedal note of all your thoughts currently, you´d snuck back into the House of Lamentation, thankfully Beel was not in the kitchen, he was at Fangol at this hour.

Walking through the halls stealthily, you heard whispers as two sets of feet seemed to enter the room at the farthest end of the hallway. Lucifer´s room.

You fucking caught them.

No time to be caught in Lucifer´s room, seeing as if you were there long enough and Lucifer caught you, you would not be leaving for a good while.

So you crept up to the attic, the official Anti-Lucifer-League headquarters, you climbed the pillars to get on the roof and you waited.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, snickering could be heard coming up to the attic. Satan opens the door, letting Belphie in, both brothers in various fits of sniggering as they walk into the room.

"He'll never see this one coming!" "This is our best one yet."

From your place on the attic ceiling, you spot Lucifer filming on his DDD from the shadows of the doorway. Of course he found out about this.

"Of course it's our best one yet!"

You swing down off of the ceiling beam, swinging lightly upside down. "And you didn't invite me?" You pout.

Satan and Belphie scream, clutching onto eachother, before noticing that it's you and running to pull you down and clutch onto you instead. You notice Lucifer chuckle and put his DDD in his pocket before leaving. Traitor.

You cuddle into your two Anti-Lucifer League Brethren, maybe this wasn't so bad. (Of course it wasn't, you loved your idiots.)

Safe to say, you didn't leave the attic for a long time. Apparently people need time to process that you're not actually dead. What madness.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

You had long unentangled yourself with a sleeping Belphie and Satan, making sure to leave a:

it wasnt a dream dont worry lads im alive.

note on their chests just in case.

Sitting in the attic with your napkin and crayon in hand, you ripped the Purgatory Hall part off of it and used the back of it for that note, you scanned through the list. You should save your First Man for last, so your next options were Beel, Asmo and Levi.

Seeing as you've shown yourself to Belphie, it's only natural your gentle giant is next.

Watch your fucking back Beel. Literally

Speaking of, it's been a few hours, Beel should be coming back from Fangol practice any moment now.

As was routine at this point, you crept through the House of Lamentation's halls and quickly ran into Beel and Belphie's shared bedroom.

As Beel walked into the room, his Fangol bag slung across his chest and a pile of after Fangol snacks in his hands, you braced yourself, made a run for it, anf landed right square on his back, arms around his neck to keep from falling.

"Oh hi MC!" Beel hummed cheerfully, before his eyes widened and he dropped his snacks. "MC?!"

"Hi!"

Quick as a flash, Beel maneuvers himself in 'dying cockroach you in Barbatos' dungeons part two' and grabs you into his arms.

"I thought you died..." He said, smelling your hair as he cuddled you.

"I did. I just came back as an angel."

"Really?" His breath hitches, "Can I see?.."

You take a deep breath and your wings and halo pop out, he strokes them gently.

"You're beautiful..." He whispers, enraptured...."I think...out of all of Father's creations over the years since the celestial war...you're the most precious...."

He speaks softly, always the gentle giant, the moment lasts for just a moment, before the moment, like all moments do, has passed. Beel's stomach rumbles and you giggle.

"You should eat your snacks, Beelie.."

"They always taste better when we share." He nods seriously.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

Levi or Asmo? You bit your crayon in thought then immediately made a face. Crayons did not taste nice.

Speaking of things that did not taste nice, you remembered that one time you tried to eat Levi's controller because you were bored.

Levi it was!

You had to time this perfectly, waiting in the shadows until Levi went down to get a snack, you snuck into his room, saying the answer to his password out of pure habit, before sitting on his gamer chair and maneuvering it in such a way he would not be able to see anyone on it from the door.

When Levi walked into his room, a bag of crisps in hand, he took a few steps before you swung around "Boo!" and he screamed. Dropping his crisps.

After convincing him you were infact not a ghost (Unlike Lucifer's), you sat with him in your arms, watching anime, and getting caught up on the new episodes released.

You cuddled up to him in his bathtub that night. You grinned evilly. This gave you an idea.

House of Lamentation Mammon LeviSatan Asmo Beel Belphie

It was no secret that Asmo bathed a lot. Funfact, Angels can hold their breath for 30 minutes!

As Asmo was busy picking out which pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath, you tiptoed behind him and slowly got in his bath, hiding under the bubbles.

It took a total of five minutes before Asmo closed the door to his bathroom and got into his bath, this was your chance! Reaching out, you grabbed his foot and pulled him under.

He screeched, when got back above the surface of the water, he grabbed your hand and pulled you over.

He squealed this time, hugging you tightly.

"Oh MC darling!~ I thought you were...well never the matter~...." He punctuated each word by kissing your face all over, leaving you squirming in his grasp out of embarassment. "How naughty!~ Sneaking into my bath like that...~...not that you arent always welcome my lovely!~"

"A-asmo," You say, your clothes soaked, though you couldn't find yourself caring. "Asmo, I love you..." your voice is soft and the Avatar of Lust coos.

It was a nice night.

Time for your final victim. Your First Man. Feeling nice, you decided not to do something too mean.

Painstakingly, you made a trial of grimm from the front door to your First Man's room, more specifically; to his bed. The plan was to hide behind the door and jumpscare him while he was busy collecting the grimm.

Unfortunately for you, seeing as you weren't sure when Mammon got off his modelling shift, you'd finished far too early, and since you and Asmo were up the entire night, you were quite sleepy.

Surely a little 5 minute nap wouldnt hurt?

You woke up hours later to a sobbing Mammon on top of you, cuddling you in his arms like his life depended on it. It seems you'd falled asleep on his bed, more specifically in his nest.

In the nest you would normally sleep in while alive. (While Human technically, seeing as you are alive, just not human.)

You bring a hand to his snowy locks, he sobs harder. Like his brother, kissing all over your face softly, "Thought I lost ye' forever Hum'n" he gasps for air, his sobs quieting down, "Though' you were gone....I prayed ev'ry nigh'...." he says, voice barely above a whisper as he strokes your cheek, looking into your eyes. "I prayed ta Fath'r ev'ry nigh' since ye' died...that he'd bring ye' back te me...."

"And he did..." You say just as softly, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes, sharing a soft kiss with him. As always, your greedy lovable bastard would want more, and you'd want nothing more than to give them to him.

And the next day when you told Michael you'd be staying in the Devildom he cheered, then told you to include him in this 'Anti-Lucifer League business' because it 'seemed fun'.

Wow. Now you knew where Satan got it from. Poor Lucifer, he just barely got away from Michael in the Celestial realm, and now he has to deal with Michael 2.0 in the Devildom.

Satan and Michael really were kind of similar....maybe it's a good thing they've only met in passing.

Moral of the story kids. Death sucks, don't do it. If you do do it, reincarnate. Bam! Problem Solved.

This is the longest ever fic I've ever wrote and probably does not make a lot of sense so I apologise for that. I also apologise for any ooc behaviour i'm still learning how to write characterisation😔✊

also i love thinking of Michael being a father figure to Luke and its very obvious

#obey me imagines #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me mammon #omswd #obey me mc #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me levi #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me michael #mammon x reader #lucifer x reader #levi x reader #satan x reader #asmo x reader #beel x reader #belphegor x reader #diavolo x reader #barbatos x reader #solomon x reader

[transmascutena]

For their birthday, favorite headcanons for Utena Tenjou?

late reply again, these posts always take me a while to make.. utena is my favorite so i have a Lot, but uh here are some of them

her favorite color has always been red and it still is even though it has some really bad connotations for him now

winter is her favorite time of year. (unrelated to my headcanon about her short-wearing habits, summer just reminds her of ohtori)

post-canon utena is not doing very well before anthy finds her. she feels incredibly guilty over her percieved failure to save anthy, and also just misses her all the time. sometimes she finds herself missing akio too and hates herself for it. her depression gets worse because she can't be as physically active during and after her stay in the hospital as she used to be. she went to therapy as a mandatory part of her stay at the hospital, but it didn't help all that much. it made her understand things better but she still doesn't know what to do about any of it

when she goes to school again, she doesn't have many friends due to having a hard time trusting and being close to people, and also because a lot of people find her kind of weird and off-putting. she's also failing all her classes.

when anthy does finally find her they kind of run away together and utena never goes to school (or therapy even though she still probably needs it) again

butch !!!!!!! i've obviously talked about it before and i will continue to forever and ever. he has a very long and confusing journey of figuring out gender stuff but this is the term that makes everything click. (i have many thoughts on stone butch utena in particular, and the relationship between sexual trauma and identity and stuff. maybe i'll elaborate in another post sometime, but either way, complicated as fuck relationship to both gender and sex.)

also she's genderfluid

failed his driver's license test three times in a row and then kinda gave up. anthy drives them everywhere

he has NO sense of fashion. wears only the ugliest or most boring outfits (but it's cool anyway because he's butch)

i've mentioned this one before but he eventually starts doing fencing as a hobby, because she did actually enjoy swordfighting and wants to learn it properly. he's pretty frustrated that he's not as good as he used to be though

i am also such a sucker for utena meeting juri again after ohtori. maybe it happens at a fencing tournament (utena doesn't do it competitively but he goes to watch his friends from his fencing team)

utena and anthy then go on the world's most awkward double date with juri and her wife

#revolutionary girl utena #headcanons #utena #asks #m

[bettsfic]

SNS? I had a panic attack the other night and asked someone I thought was a close friend (we've previously been open about mental health stuff and they had told me directly that I can always call them if they would) for help getting through it. They agreed and talked at me for a bit while I cried and did breathing exercises. Now it's a few days later and they texted me to tell me they didn't want me in their life anymore. (1/2)

Everyone is on their own journey and I respect that and I respect the boundary that they've drawn. I guess my question is how do you handle trusting sometime and showing them the ugliest part of you and then getting rejected? I'm finding it very difficult not to go down the spiral of "I'm a horrible repulsive person and should try to minimize my negative impact on the world by isolating myself"

i'm so sorry that happened, anon. that sounds devastating. if it helps, i struggle with a lot of the same negative self-beliefs especially when i think back on relationships and friendships that didn't work out.

the first thing to do is to let yourself be hurt by their behavior. even though i agree that everyone has a right to draw their boundaries, that doesn't mean you can't have an emotional reaction to them. right now it sounds like you're turning that hurt onto yourself, when i think it's more productive to acknowledge that, regardless of how you see yourself, someone you cared about betrayed your trust. you don't have to attribute any logic to it or build a case against yourself. just let yourself feel hurt.

as far as the negative self-beliefs that develop from these situations, i really do think positive reinforcement is a good go-to coping strategy. just earlier today i was in an appointment with my psychiatrist who asked me, "what do you do when you're at your lowest?" to which i said more or less that (very reluctantly and with profound irritation) i begin listing off all the people who love me and all the good work i've put in the world. there is cold hard evidence that not even my self-hating brain can deny that i've been a positive influence on some people, and if i don't lock myself away, i can continue to be a positive influence. even if you have to write it down just so you can see it, make your list. make it as objective as possible so you can't twist it. cold hard facts of the positive influence you've had.

i remember when i started therapy, my big question was, "but what if people hurt you?" i asked that question over and over. no one ever had an answer for me. it's hard to find therapists who understand C-PTSD and the reality that we struggle to process betrayal and abandonment, so we carry it with us from relationship to relationship, piling on armor, until we can't form real relationships at all. the image i always conjure is barbed wire around a teacup. something fragile and made to be loved, but unable to be touched.

the answer i came up with is that you just have to love everyone as well as you possibly can knowing that they can hurt you. they can reject you, abandon you, blame you, and berate you, but you have to remember that the reward of loving is worth the risk of pain.

and lastly, the truth of the world is that there will always be people who simply aren't strong enough to hold you. it doesn't mean you're too heavy; it means they're not willing to put in the work to be strong in the way you need. this can be hard especially if you're the sort of person willing to put in the work for others. but everyone has a breaking point. it's just that some people are a steel beam and some people are a tightrope. it's easier to fall off of one than the other. the weight they're willing to carry has nothing to do with you.

where the negative self-beliefs come in is thinking, but what if i'm too heavy for anyone to hold? what if i'm an unreasonable burden? my instinct has always been to make myself lighter, smaller. if i can make myself easy to love, then people will love me easily, and if people love me easily then they won't hurt me. but the truth is that i am hard to love, not because there's anything wrong with me, but because loving is hard no matter how light and small you are. you can be the happiest, most stable person in the world and that still doesn't make you immune to the hurtful behavior of others, and it doesn't exempt you from behaving in hurtful ways. we are all flawed beasts looking for a place to belong. in order to find where we fit, we have to find where we don't.

i hope you've found some of this helpful. again, i'm sorry you're going through this, and i wish you the very best.

#sns #psych

[bumblewarden]

Ambient dialogue between Radka and a disguised Novhen at Haven. She is in on the disguise. They are in Leliana's canopy and speak with an often teasing familiarity.

⛺️

Radka: Who do you think it was behind the Herald in the Fade?

Novhen: Not Andraste. We're agreed on that much, right?

Radka: Ancestors' tits, yes! You're a real breath of fresh air, salroka, you know that?

⛺️

Novhen: Lot of Chantry folk here.

Radka: That's what I'm saying! Why are there so many Chantry folk at this Chantry splinter?

Novhen: Ach, you know what I mean.

⛺️

Radka: What exactly are you doing?

Novhen: Codebreaking.

Radka: And how does that work?

Novhen: Well, it's maths mostly.

Radka: That's all I needed to hear.

⛺️

Radka: Still nothing from the Orlesian Wardens.

Novhen: Feh. Can't trust them to do anything right these days. Blight or no, there are certain communication channels they're supposed to keep open.

Radka: Have you had any luck with the Fereldans at least?

Novhen: About as much as you might expect.

⛺️

(If dwarven Inquisitor)

Radka: I can't believe a Carta's supposed to be the one to save us.

Novhen: You disapprove?

Radka: I used to work for them back in Orzammar until they made me their fall guy and threw me in a cell. Those nug humpers would toss us all to the fire for a single silver piece.

Novhen: I'll keep that in mind.

⛺️

(After recruiting Blackwall)

Radka: What do you think of Warden Blackwall?

Novhen: There's something odd about that one. I need to look into him.

⛺️

(After recruiting Blackwall)

Radka: Have you ever met a Grey Warden before?

Novhen: Of course I have. I was in Denerim when they ended the Fifth Blight.

Radka: So was I. I accompanied the Hero of Ferelden even, but when it came time to actually kill the thing, he left me to defend the city gates. I didn't even get to see the archdemon.

Novhen: You aren't missing out. I snuck a look before it got hauled off. Ugliest bastard I've ever seen.

#novhen tabris #radka brosca #au: hof at skyhold #banter #the overdramatized pain i inflict upon myself by writing maths instead of math OTL #i wish i could've worked around by saying the full mathematics but that does not fit in novhen's voice TuT #not very polished but i don't intend to get very polished with these since it's probably noncanon #i just love these two staunchly non-andrastian characters hanging in the heart of the inquisition headquarters and complaining

[datrosamelapibus]

A whole set of lore because I was lazy to post on time when it happened

Yesterday his friend of a few years that he once decided to vent to about me and the same girl who told him to break up with me (which later he blocked) has posted a pretty provocative picture and it's worse when I know that she is his type and not only that but she looks way better than me at least in terms of body, she's not skinny, I never wanted to be skinny, the only reason my ED exists is to cope, but in terms of ideal body I have a completely different view, but I could never achieve that since I can barely gain 100 pounds. I still remember how bad my ex was about that. He would constantly compare me to girls with much more weight than me (which got distributed to all the right places) and it sucks knowing I could never achieve that. Anyway I'm going off the point, I called him a pick me over that and it hurt so much that he thought I was dissapointed in him. It hurt, the way he said that made me cry instantly. I have a fear that everyone will betray me and I start hating my closest friends the second they do something slightly againt my views. I eventually get over it but I never forget that I only have one person (my best friend of 11+ years) who NEVER did anything to make me view her differently. We talked a lot last night and I still feel terrible for hurting him with everything I've said. But he did the same thing like that time I cried over what my ex did. He told me to breathe in and out as he counts and it was so cute just like last time. Im genuinely happy. But I will keep an eye on his friend, as I am a very petty individual and even though he blocked her I'm still hurt by the fact he was ever friends and even decided to vent to someone like that about me (for context she's not the best person).

///////

I got so stressed over my latin exam thinking I'll get a D but I got a B somehow??? Was literally crying and got yelled at by mom lmao

///////

My friend disappointed me. We've been friends for about 2 years and I genuinely loved her company. We agreed on most things and she's fun to be around, but since we know a lot of people that's where this story starts. I realized a pattern of her constantly rejecting every possible guy, and we casually talk about it and she confirmed to me on several occasions that she's into girls. I've been through my ex making me block her thinking that I'm cheating on him with her even, overall that question has been settled a long time ago. She's kind of a close friend that I really cared about and almost trusted on not disappointing me, untill our mutual friend for no reason at all sent me something. That guy is the ugliest most morally fucked try hard and also kind of desperate, yet acts like a ,,top g" fuck boy or whatever. Overall a very disgusting individual in every way. And what I've seen is her calling him daddy a few months ago. And no she doesn't anymore and she doesn't like him or anyone. He said he doesn't remember the context but I think he's full of shit. I was genuinely disappointed and I lost my respect for her. A few days earlier I snitched on some guy in a gc who talked badly of her telling her not to say anything yet she did, I feel like she's not actually into girls and did and would betray me over a man, so I have not said anything about the recent incident. I don't know what to think honestly.

///////

My huge fuck up of the day, few days ago I unblocked my recent ex, the one I wrote about, the whole pool incident etc., Well, I needed that Netflix password badly, but I think mom called me and then I went to shower and sleep and completely forgot, so next day I get a call and I instinctively pick up. ,,I'm not blocked anymore?" ,,no" ,,alright just checking...so how are you?" Followed by asking about my current relationship to which I said all positive, but when asking about his he said they have issues where he's basically an asshole towards her, genuinely sucks, anyhow we ended it there. Next day another call where he was crying how she broke up with him, and just said he's going to sleep. So I message him telling him to fix it with her, he didn't reply for a while untill 3rd day comes, we are texting about it, he's drunk and high and what not and is telling me how every aspect of his life is at it's worst. Then it ended on him begging me to come back to which I said obvious No. I felt way too guilty for talking to him in the first place, so I told my boyfriend about it as I promised not to lie anymore. Let's just say it didn't end well.

Silliest update he found my fake profile I made to stalk his terrible friend and I played stupid and he actually believed me lmao, although that bitch doesn't accept my request for days already for whatever reason.

Today he got upset over what I did a few days ago. I hate when he's upset and I hate knowing I am what caused it. He has every right to be upset of course, but I wish sometimes he would let me help and be there for him without attacking me, and If I say anything about how he is at the moment he'll immediately accuse me of trying to turn the blame on him and make him the bad guy which I would never even think of. I love him and I'll never get fed up or anything, I just need to let it out somewhere. No one made me happier than he does so it's better if I keep it in this diary instead of constantly just making everything worse. We quickly made up and he reactivated his old profile from which he texted me jokingly and I made it pretty sexual, to which he got upset again saying what if I was willing to do things with my ex just so that he doesn't tell him that we talked. I am honestly not a very sexual person, as I was only ever pushed into it and forced. I don't have good sexual memories. He knows it and I got pretty comfortable with him, he makes sure I know that I don't and never will have to do anything I don't want to and he makes me feel cared about. I feel safe. But I'm ashamed after what he told me today. Not only this but when I tried to reassure him that it's not true and that I'm not like that he said he doesn't believe it. He keeps pushing this hypersexualized image of me when he's upset and I hate it. I hate being precieved in that way and it hurts the most when the one I feel safe around does that. I still love him but I wish he didn't see me as a whore. I hope one day I can try being that way with him without feeling shame over the way he sees me. He then told me he knows someone who's always sad, his ex, and that, to make us even, he should let her vent. I just give up when I'm too upset honestly so I said go for it. Then he went on telling me how his ex shouldn't suffer in silence as she's been through a lot (her eating disorder) and I told him that I too keep quiet about those things. He was mean to me over my disorder. I told him that by doing all that he'll just trigger me and I don't usually talk about my issues, and as I was about to say how much it hurts that he's implying his ex has it worse he quoted what I said before how it's triggering to be compared or even see someone who has it worse when you have an ED.

So how I talked to my (recent) ex, I unblocked him wanting to ask for a netflix password, which I forgot to do so he stayed unblocked for a few hours, then I woke up and he called, we talked a bit and he was telling me how his new gf sucks, we end it. Next day he calls me crying as I'm oiling my hair to tell me she broke up, to which I texted him saying he should fix it with her. We talk a bit the next day and he's begging me to come back, which I obviously say no to. And guess what, now he's telling my old friend group that I called him instead of the other way around and him and his friends are saying I don't have any friends ☠️

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I watched: September 2023

Final bunch until I start my real big annual marathon! Here we go!

Night of the Demon (1957) So this is where the plots we've seen popularized in ones the Wicker Man and Drag Me to Hell came from. Personally, I prefer those, but probably because they were made in a time audiences could handle the leading man losing. Most of this movie is this smug know-it-all jackass mocking people for their religious beliefs pretty much. I'll admit, his final gambit to switch the curse back onto the main villain was a maneuver that would make Columbo proud. Though I still don't know what Karswell's whole plan outside of his demon hitman was.

Speaking of which, as iconic as that design is, it hasn't aged too well. The far away shot is the stiffest puppet ever seen, and even the closeup shot is...honestly, adorable. The most effective shot of it is near the end when it's tearing apart it's last victim. The claws not withstanding, it's head is in darkness with it's eyes glowing and you actually see the tearing even from a distance.

Though that was probably the key to it being one of the more effective horror films of the decade. Most times, the monster has to die or reveal to be secretly good. This is a demon, with no good bone in it's body, and it "gets away". Sure, the only real punishment it could've gotten is being chased away by a priest or an angel or such, but even that doesn't happen here. The devil is real. Demons are real. We might've escaped them this time. But by our own wit, not God's. If He is even real.

Side note, if I knew there was a Halloween party in this, I would've waited. Eh, close enough.

Christine (1983) It's surreal watching this after Halloween Ends. Sure, I think I've seen reviews saying that movie felt more like a remake of this movie plotwise. But now I see what they mean. Granted, the themes were handled with a bit more nuance in that film. I don't know; it's weird seeing a sequel to John Carpenter's most famous movie is used as a "backdoor remake" for one of his lesser known ones. It's at least a more interesting idea to handle a Halloween movie then a lot of the previous ones.

As for this movie; I never liked the 1950s. Even before and without knowing the awful political, racist, sexist shite that happened during it, I thought the aesthetics associated with it (cars, fashion, music, attitude, etc.) were the ugliest of any decade in the 20th century. Good ole days, my ass! The amount of similarities and homages to it in the 1980s were strikes against that decade too for me, in a weird guilt-by-association way. So it's oddly comforting that during a time where people, all the way up to the white house, were thinking "boy, don't you wish we could go back to such a time?", Both Carpenter and Stephen King made works that were responses in the fashion of "No! What are you, crazy?!"

But yeah, this does feel to me one of Carpenter's lesser efforts, not surprising since he practically saw it as a work for hire. It's a pretty typical King story, given a Carpenter coat of paint. I wonder if King gave him shit for being the second director of one of his adaptations that didn't redeem it's main character at the end. You wouldn't think the directors of book adaptations would make them more cynical then the produced-for-less-people source material.

Relic (2020) This film needs to be studied. by film scholars and then by students in film schools. It established a threat, a horror, that is unique to this movie, but you can follow what it's supposed to symbolize, and get a good handle on what it's doing in-universe to the grandmother. All without a single line of dialogue of exposition!

I really am so tired of films expecting to explain every weird thing in it, that I'm starting to love it whenever one just trusts you enough to get it and not raise arms about the small details that don't actually make or break a story. This is why the past few years have been seen as a golden age of the genre. It trusts us.

Another sidebar. Houses that turn into a magical maze that keeps you trapped might be one of my new fascinations. Simple, but super effective. I've seen it before in Grave Encounters, I heard it's in House of Leaves, which is on my reading list. It doesn't scare me, but I find oddly captivating. Got to try and figure out why.

Crawl (2019) If I covered Alligator, I'm going to have to cover this one. Though there's not much to say. A half hour of building mystery and tension, then once the gators literally explode onto screen, it's about surviving them and surviving them only and then credits. Not sure those many regular gators would have that strong a hankering for human flesh but whatever. Credit where credit's due, this movie made me jump the most out of any in recent memory. So it pretty much succeeded in it's main mission. Also, happy the dog made it, but it must've been miserable being wet for like 90% of the shoot.

Swallow (2019) Well this is new; body horror being the lesser of two evils. Hell of a pro choice message; "I'd literally feel safer putting anything else in my body". Many uncomfortable moments throughout, not all of them involving what she put in her mouth (though that freaking push pin!). Honestly, it's great to see a movie commits to that even the most egregious of supposed attention-seeking self harm is a symptom of a much larger problem. And that a film can be feminist and violent while actually looking pretty feminine. Though you probably all know that. We've all seen Barbie at this point.

I'm also watching Hot Fuzz. I'm not going to count it but I am watching Shaun of the Dead next month so I might mention it there.

Next month is the big one. Wish me luck and stay safe!

#christine 1983 #Relic 2020 #Crawl 2019 #curse of the demon #swallow 2019

[beautifultragic]

taylor swift has created a new perfume called ‘venom’  based on her new album reputation. with a strong and bold scent, this is definitely something you would want to wear if you wish to feel mysterious. there's no other way to say it: this fragrance is just straight-up flirtatious. It's a little bit wintery, a little bit smoky, a little bit sultry - like ‘so it goes’. the packaging shows a snake wrapped around the perfume’s bottle with the nozzle in the snake’s head. 

#tswiftedit #this is the ugliest thing i've ever made and trust me there's a LOT of competition there #idk i just liked the idea when i got it but then ://// it was all downhill from there #also the presentation? no❤ #taylorswiftedit #tscreators #networkthirteen #userelena #usersar #usergabbi #shouldvesaidno #newrcmantlcs #seegoldendaylight #taylor swift #reputation #perfume #perfume design #graphics #graphic design #tperfume

[heart-forge]

at the risk of opening a huge can of worms,, care to rant about ao3 or talk about what you don't like about it? i don't know a lot about it and im super curious + i trust your opinion,, if that sounds like a lot of mental energy of course no worries,, love you n take care

tw mention of common controversial fic tag topics like child abuse, sexual violence, racism etc...because when you talk about the site, these things inevitably crop up. Anyway, time to swing a bat at a beehive.

I mean, first and foremost I want to point out because it doesn't really need to be hidden behind a tw, that when you're consuming content and not signed in then you have to agree to their terms of service which includes "if you reveal your race or religion or sexuality then you might open yourself up to harassment based on that, click here to agree" and from the very second they put that up I've thought it was the ugliest and most hateful thing I've ever seen in my life. I stopped using the site for a long time because it was so hideous to me that rather than put any basic effort towards moderation they just made you agree to a disclaimer that you understood that being gay or black or muslim would get you bullied and they won't do anything. Fuck them to the depths of hell for that, but I'll get into why the site is still used despite it's god awful garbage policy on washing its hand of all the content it allows to be on there.

I guess the tl;dr of that is both I don't think that using the site is morally worse than using any other social media site (ie I think all sites are equally as guilty as ao3, not that I think ao3 is not any worse than any other site), but I also understand why someone would individually decide to not use the site because they find it morally repulsive.

If you read this and feel the need to tell me about the old days of the internet when fanfiction was subversive and dangerous to post because of copyright, please go outside and touch some grass because you're an adult and you should have better things to do (not specifically you anon, this is a blanket warning).

tl;dr not every triggering piece of media is a masterpiece and should stop pretending like it is, not every person who writes about trauma is brave and indeed some of them are the reason people have to write about their trauma later on, "writing as therapy" is only valid insofar as you ask yourself if your mental health is better or worse after exposing your vulnerabilities to a fandom for public validation, and then you have to ask yourself if it was worth the reader's mental health as well, we as a species are responsible for other people (especially children) whether we like it or not, and finally ao3 has abdicated that responsibility in favour of pretending they're doing something vital by hosting and taking oodles and oodles of donations for...what exactly? Are they in a constant state of being sued? Is someone getting paid, because they have a lot of volunteers and no paid humans to moderate complaints/reports?

I know people have a lot of valid financial criticisms about how they run their business (I’ve seen posts but I didn’t memorize them so I’ll just skim on by these: I’m sure if you searched AO3 tag on Tumblr you’d see...well a lot that probably isn't worth the effort, but maybe find someone who has the proper mileage to talk about business practices).

I mostly, very frankly, don’t really approve of “well it was tagged” methodology behind allowing people to write whatever crosses their mind no matter how triggering or poorly thought or harmful it is overall. Stick with me here, people like to react at this point.

This shouldn’t be very surprising as I’ve at least posted snippets of blogs pointing out that I think people who claim basic moderation of content is censorship are stupid and as annoying to engage with as your garden variety Reddit troll, and that not every piece about controversial topics is a stunning deep dive into morality and the human mind and a lot of it is just trite garbage that hides behind the reputation of much better pieces of media as if every fic containing CSA is Lolita (which in itself struggles to be understood in a world that mostly supports child abuse and hates girls and women, but that’s a discussion you can hear from the Lolita Podcast, tw for...well it’s about the book Lolita so CSA at minimum), which they aren’t.

Again, is an AO3 anime fanfic the best platform for trauma content in general? And that’s without even asking “is this something that’s present in the text being explored by the author” (for example, the Elder Scrolls has sexual violence baked into vampire lore: I tag for sexual violence, therefore, if I mention topics directly pertaining to it, even though I never and will never write explicit sexual violence just because that's not my deal), versus "was this added by the author to an unrelated work" and "why did they do that?" (and "which character did they do it to" and "why that character" and "is this author enacting a violent sexual fantasy against as marginalized group because it makes them horny because I gotta tell you, not interested in the rights of those people overall let alone to do so in a public space where there's kids and also normal people").

People talk about fic as therapy which is valid to a point, but you have to ask yourself if therapy needs to be posted for public consumption. It's entirely possible that people are writing and posting therapy fics in good faith, but that doesn't mean that they have a get out criticism free card: they need to ask themselves if that's an appropriate and healthy way to approach theraputic writing (if it's for therapy, do you want it to be subject to public opinion? do you want it to be subject to people who aren't critically engaging with it and just think it's sexy? is that healthy for you? is that healthy for the person reading it?), if it's a valuable deconstruction of your feelings or literally just venting (ie did you want to deep dive on a topic, did you want to show it as a multifaceted thing, did you want to show the effects it can have in a healthy and safe space, or were you writing it to just get it out of you? if you just wanted it out of you, did it need to be posted for others to interact with? again, is that healthy for you? is that healthy for others?), or if it's really for theraputic purposes or if that's another wall that predators are hiding behind to validate themselves (which I gotta say, I see "turns out x person in fandom was a predator" way more often than I see a fic like this and think "wow they really got at something here").

Now, here's where people with the instinct to react to all that have my permission to calm down because I have a very obvious answer to the people who are screaming CENSORSHIP, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE ME A LIST OF TOPICS IT'S OKAY TO WRITE ABOUT at their screen. Real people doing real moderation work is the answer, but much like literally all large scale social media sites, ao3 doesn't do that. If they want to allow for topics like that to be engaged with, if they want to allow for people to have the space to do this, it has to come part and parcel with people moderating for users who will abuse the system. For example, it gets grey around sexual violence, as it can be framed in a consensual and sexual way (BDSM, for example, is something that could both be consensual but should be tagged as sexual violence if it includes such a thing)—a human moderator can see that. A tag leaves that up to the writer and the person who's consuming it without really knowing which it is.

I'm just saying, but for a site that takes in so much money through donations, they should be able to invest in a real team of real (diverse!) people paid to moderate fic to make sure that a fic tagged underage is addressing something in canon (allowing for the extremely insignificant statistical chance that a victim is reclaiming a character from a fic and not just writing underage because they're a young teenager who wants their self-insert to be their age but doesn't want to age down a canonical character, or again the visibly more significant portion of people who think it's sexy) and not glorifying child abuse because the author is a child abuser who thinks that publically posting such a thing "doesn't count" because there was not a physically alive child involved (that they know of).

Which is a segway into the next point, you only have to be thirteen to sign up to a website that proudly hosts not only these topics (which, like it or not, it shouldn't be up to a child to self-moderate full stop; I don't care who "turned out okay" in the end, I don't care who thinks its good for kids to be exposed to intense and/or explicit topics (speaking from experience, go to hell), I don't care if every day TV shows and movies are just as bad so who cares, I don't care if "well they'll find it somewhere", it is not their job to self moderate as a feature of the website and it's not for a website run by adults to trust that children will stick to their lane once they've already been told that this is a space that includes them) but also just garden variety explicit content. You can never guarantee that nobody is lying about their age, and it's not good practice to assume that someone who seems like a child online actually is one: it is, however, your responsibility to do your level best to make sure that you've made clear that a child isn't welcome in the space that you've created explicitly for adult content. My games are all tagged as NSFW on itch, even though there isn't explicit boning. I don't love to associate my games with what is a GENEROUS swath of fetish porn, but I also don't want kids there in case I ever do want to get a little dicey with the sexual content, or violence content. I don't want to write in the responsible kind of way that one does when there's kids around, so I use the tools I have to do my best to make sure that kids know it's not their space.

It's what makes being a content creator difficult, on ao3 and on every website: every site is technically like this. You know children are there, and you know they're happy to lie about their age to get at restricted content. As a user, all you can really do is tag it and hope that people abide by those tags, because there are no content moderators there for you to get help from and the original purposes of these tags (as warnings) is being twisted by people (many of whom I think would absolutely get the ban hammer if there was a real and dedicated team of moderators and a useful and meaningful way to report people) into being used as advertisements.

Now, there's plenty to say about how functional an actual team of moderators would be (cog is proof of that, plus the basic human knowledge that putting a team of cis white people on the job isn't going to represent the interests of targeted parties), but contemporary internet has at minimum proven that 1) doing nothing, and 2) letting a robot decide, isn't working. Every website is just as culpable as ao3, but ao3 is in the extremely dubious position of being proud to host the things that it does, refusing to moderate and putting full responsibility for consuming content on a userbase that includes children, and only just now (I've heard: rumours swirl) giving people a way to block others? Other companies (YouTube another big "we're happy to traumatize children for dollars") at least have the smokescreen ability to restrict that content, even if they don't exercise it (or exercise it very badly, but the point is ao3 was built for adult content).

I don't think everyone who uses ao3 is being willfully ignorant or negligent in some way (obviously: I still use it). It's the most popular and high trafficked fic site and out of the three big ones (WattPad, fanfic.net, and itself) has the better reputation as far as "hosting work for people of a certain age" (ie, there's nothing for me, in my mid twenties, on WattPad, even if I'm not looking for sexual content). Engagement is just as terrible as it is on somewhere like Tumblr (the evil you know) but on ao3 you're not competing with visual art which is a huge problem on multi media sites (not to pit artists and writers against each other, but I'm sure many text game authors are happy to talk about how poor their engagement is compared to games with visual sprites).

I think the owners of ao3 are being extremely negligent and doing so on purpose because they come from a pool of people who think that 1) they turned out fine (which is subjective on a huge scale and I would definitely argue that adults who figure they blanket turned out fine after exposure to even casual internet usage among mostly their peers should reexamine; you don't have to have full blown PTSD to recognise that something deeply affected you as a child and where exactly you found that shit), and that 2) they have no means of for sure keeping out children and therefore they're clear to do nothing (which is a terrible abdication of responsibility, all the way down to greedily including children (with a wealth of spare time, potentially spare income depending on the household, and willingness to believe that a site that caters to their interests is therefore interested in them as an individual) in their userbase while claiming not to cater to them).

I think every dogshit fic on their is on their shoulders far more than the handful of inoffensive stuff or the stuff that they get praised for hosting (ie, good fic). I also don't think there's an ice cube's chance in hell of their policy ever changing, simply because you can't tell anything to people who think getting bullied for liking fandom is the same as structural oppression, and at this point the site has been allowed to grow so far without moderation that the effort to bring it under control would be an insane expense in both time and recompense for people who would be setting themselves up to purposely dig through traumatizing material in order to weed out the shit that should never have been allowed to be there in the first place.

My work and the work of my friends and peers on there is not a reflection of them having done something correctly, only that they have a stranglehold on sites specifically for hosting writing where fic writers are able to at all engage with fandom, versus multimedia sites where we're largely ignored for the much for aesthetically straightforward (ie "make the blog look nice") and optimized (Tumblr is NOT optimized for long text posts, not from a posting perspective and not from a display perspective) visual art (which still struggles with engagement!).

#Anonymous #talkForge #people with higher stakes in the game (ie people who've been targeted with racial harrassment and all kinds of shit on the site) have been #far more eloquent on the topic but I am both unwilling to open them up to even more wanking than they probably sat through in the first #place and also as I'm sure you can imagine I don't save posts about it on the regular #longpost #like EXTREMELY long post

[demi-angel-novel]

Chapter 5: Time to fight with rocks

     As I walked out of Mr.Watts class I looked at what my next class was and apparently it was rune studies, and I became interested in it because I think I read about them in a book once so seeing this as a class got me interested.  So when I  went towards the class a little quicker and as I walked I noticed the world seemed a little clearer now that I've unlocked my S.E.

“Huh, cool.” I thought aloud.  After about two minutes I made it in front of another classroom, except this one had vines and grass on the door spreading across the walls until it reached the next classrooms.  When I walked in entered the classroom I instantly noticed the ground was jungle-like with soil and tree roots as well as grass.  This time this room actually had desks but they seemed to be jutting out of the ground.  They were long connected desks in a U formation with two sets of tables.  They were made of a polished light brown wood with grey styluses inserted in holes with jade colored smooth stones in front of each grass chair.  I walked over to a petite girl with shoulder-length black hair.  She looked about my age.  She wore a light blue shirt with a black jacket with a dark blue horizontal blue line running through the middle and she wore yoga pants with a shoulder bag resting beside her.  From that, I noticed her wings they seemed to resemble an Owl’s and they had a creamy color with brown patterns that transformed into ripples across both of them reminding me of sound waves.

“Hey is it okay if I sit here?”  she turned her head and I got a better look at her face.  She had a pale complexion with Asian facial features and pale white blind mystifying eyes that if I were to look at long enough would be trapped in.  She gave me a friendly smile and said

“Sure go right on ahead.”

“Thanks,” I said as I sat next to her.  “My name’s Thomas what’s yours?” I asked trying to strike up a conversation.

“My name is Noel and nice to meet you Thomas” she held out her hand

“Likewise Noel,” I said accepting her gesture when I saw her with a silver violin bracelet which with my new vision radiated a hidden power.  “So-”

“Are you blind?” she finished for me.

“Uh, yeah, sorry if I was rude”

“No worries people ask me that all the time and yes I am but don’t worry I can see you clearly with my spirit energy so don’t worry

“Ah, I see, so what is that on your wrist because I’m seeing a lot of energy coming off of it”

“Oh, this?  This is my weapon it’s actually a violin.”

“Huh, cool!”

“Thanks!  What about your necklace?  What kind of a weapon is it?”

“It’s a mix of a cane and a sword and a scythe I think”

“That sounds nice I bet its useful”

“I don’t know I never used it before but apparently from Ariana it’s really useful.  So it probably is.  So what do you think of school so far?”

“Hmm, it’s certainly interesting…Like it!  What about you?”

“Yeah I like it too,”  I notice in front of us a few guys were giggling and appeared to be making fun of Noel.  LIke imagining to be blind.  For some reason, this made me extremely mad despite only knowing her for a limited time and I was about to get up but I found my wrist getting grabbed by Noel.

“Thomas, don’t worry its fine honestly let’s just ignore them and get back to our conversation”  she seemed to calm me down instantly so I sat back down and we continued talking for a few minutes until the teacher appeared in a swirl of leaves.  When they all fell to the ground they revealed a woman in her 30′s.  She wore long bell bottom jeans with a horizontal white and black blouse that was tucked into the jeans with a short denim jacket that reached the bottom of her chest.  She had a curvy build with brown ebony skin with a large black afro with light brown highlighted tendrils that made it look like an explosion.  Her eyes were wooden brown with green highlights, and behind her were green and black wings that resembled palm leaves.  To me, every part of her screamed sarcasm.

“Okay, class~I am your Rune-studies teacher. Ms.Hill”  even her speech drenched with sarcasm as in mid-sentence some of her words were drawn out unnecessarily long. “My job is to teach you how to use, create, and summon runes and learn of their us-”  She stopped suddenly because of the same boys from earlier who were making fun of Noel were now making fun of her.  She looked unimpressed and had a look of attitude and annoyance. 

“Excuse me, gentlemen, it seems you have a question”  The idiots giggled like school girls who would probably take offense for that analogy.  The ugliest of them said.

‘Hey share some of that ice cream on your back”  they each laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.

“So you got jokes, do you?  Well, have you ever heard of slapstick”  She made a thick tube of leaves and vines and smacked them each on the head. Probably lessening their intelligence even more.  The whole class laughed at this and on their faces were fiery red blushes.

“Now I trust that there will be no more interruption, now as I was saying.  I’m here to teach you how to use, create, and summon runes and their uses and secrets.  Runes are symbols of power, among other things, they can create elements, summon objects, heal, rebuild, defend, attack, enhance and much more.  For now, we’re focusing on the basics.” 

      From one of the roots on the ground, she made a wooden stylus with a black point that glowed light green.  From this, she drew 26 symbols with a letter for each underneath.

  “Now fun fact about runes and styluses.  We can use a variety of materials to make either one but to our knowledge so far wood makes the best styluses with plastic being a close second.  For runes, stones are best but truthfully these stones are mostly for storage and reuse because you can write your own with only a stylus but these stones are recommended because they don’t drain your own spirit energy they just store what you’ve written.  Like this”  

She wrote runes that spelled out Light and from the symbols appeared a blinding harsh light that caused us to cover our eyes until it ended.  

“Remember class for what incantation you use you will have to memorize it because if written or cast incorrectly they become dangerous and unstable most likely being a danger to you as much as your enemy.  For when you go into the field or are in a fight I recommend having a variety on standby as well as a mixture of materials for sudden uses and to always have a spare stylus.  Now for the rest of class time practice working on your own runes and uses for them.  And don’t interrupt my reading okay?”

     I went to work practicing on runes and what to write when I and Noel got sprayed in the face by jets of water from the idiots from earlier.  I was boiling with anger and annoyance.  I really didn’t like bullies especially those that will do things to people I care about so I devised a plan and told it to Noel.  And I convinced her to join me in a prank.  I drew a rune that was to bind and Noel would follow up with a rune that would make them float so I finished them off with a rune that would kick them in the air with them screaming for it to stop so, me and Noel obliged their request and  sent our S.E into one last Rune and sent them flying into a hole in the many trees and vines around the room and all you could see was there backsides and legs struggling to get free.  We both laughed at this and high-fived each other and practice with each other until the damned trumpets blared again signaling us to leave.  We both said our goodbyes to each other as we walked to our next classes with me having a slight blush as we separated.

#chapter 5 #Noel #Noel Echo #Ms. Hill #Rune class #thomas #thomas di angelo #demi angels