#to visibly hating life is sad to me idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luvrxbunny · 2 months

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churn

pairing: knight!Miguel O’Hara x princess!reader

summary: Your royal knight helps you in a way your fiancé never could.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader has hair that can be pushed over her shoulder, reader has visible collarbones, infidelity, miguel seems to have a little thing for readers collarbones.. Idk, f! masturbation, IMPORTANT LINK (ill be refering to this throughout the fic)

wc: 4.9k

a/n: i don't even think this is good guys cry i just needed to post something but i tried ilya 🫶🏾 (not proofread one bit)

He hated this part of the day.

Miguel isn’t allowed to feel many things, he is even more limited in who he can feel them for, but he hates this part of the day. When you finally finish your chores and duties. You always tell him that you’re not going to get excited this time, that you know he’s busy but he always sees the excitement build in your face as you search tirelessly for your fiancé.

Ser Isaac was one of the more well-known lords of the land. He’s known for his outstanding looks and entertaining charm. Everyone has heard of his endless generosity, empathy, and care for others. But in Miguel’s experience. He’s a selfish dick.

He doesn’t hate Ser Isaac, of course not, that’d be treason. He is allowed to hate his actions, however; the way he neglects you. He hates how Ser Isaac is using you for your position, stature, and admiration throughout the kingdom. He spends all his time sucking up to your father, thanking him for his daughter's hand in marriage rather than worshipping the daughter for tolerating his artificiality.

You round the corner to find your father and fiancé at the bar, once again. This is where they’ve been for the past few weeks. You’d asked them to try to spend less time together, to make some room for you, but they both laughed you off and continued their boisterous chatter.

Miguel watches your smile melt off your face as you take in their inebriated state. You turn to him for a moment with a small smile, knowing he’ll give you the same pitying look you get every time this happens. It’s a small comfort; knowing that at least one person in your life cares about you, even if that person is your assigned guard.

You approach the pair of drunks with a brave smile. “Have you saved any for me, my love?” The two men pause to look at you before slowly turning back to one another and breaking out into a fit of laughter. Miguel can see your expression flush into one of embarrassment and anger. You open your mouth to speak again but their laughter raises in volume, drowning out anything you would’ve said.

Miguel sees a heartbreaking sadness flash over your face before you compose yourself.

In his mind though, it’s the same as you begging him for help, so he steps in. He moves from his corner by the doorway to stand at your side. His presence gives you a small boost of confidence and commands the men to give you more than 3% of their attention.

Your fiancé is the first one to quit his laughter and sober up a bit. He takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes at Miguel’s presence. “Is he necessary?” He doesn’t even look at Miguel, his eyes don’t flicker in his direction once. Miguel does the same, keeping his eyes forward and surveying his surroundings. He can’t help the slight smirk that worms its way onto his face, however.

You stand up straighter at the acknowledgment of your muscle. “Miguel is mine, therefore he stays by my side.” Miguel’s eyelids flutter and flicker to you for a moment. He tries his best to ignore the swirling in his stomach but his breathing stutters. “I’d like to confer with you about your schedule, dear.”

Your fiancé smirks maliciously at you before changing it into a faux kind smile. “Of course, sweetheart. I’ll make so much time for you.” He stands up, looming over you but not taller than Miguel. “When I’m finished organizing all of our affairs, paying all your maids.” His voice gains more and more venom as he stalks closer to you.

Your confident gaze is gone, now looking at the wall rather than your soon-to-be husband. “Yes, dear. I’ll spend time with you when I’m done with cleaning your messes.” His voice raises to a shout, screaming right in your face as your eyes stay on the ground. Miguel’s hand goes to rest on the hilt of his sword, just as a reminder of what could happen if Ser Isaac decides to do more than yell. But that negatively catches his attention.

He scoffs loudly and turns to Miguel, who still isn't meeting his threatening eyes. “You think to strike me? You?” Miguel hears you take a breath, like you’re preparing to speak up for him but he can’t allow that. “I only mean to protect the Princess, Ser.” Miguel keeps his smirk from crawling onto his face this time, he keeps his expression stoic and straight ahead.

“Oh? OH? I’ll I have you know that I shall do whatever-” He raises his hand. “I’d like-”

It comes down toward you “with MY wife.” Miguel grabs his wrist, stopping all movement. You watch his grip tighten before your eyes, so tightly you swear you can hear Isaac’s bones cracking.

“You will not. Not in my presence, or ever, if I can help it.” You’ll never forget the look on his face. The pure shock on his face, the look of disgust and disdain. You don’t even want to think of Miguel’s face. The anger, and unwavering confidence. He exudes this certain dominance over Isaac that you can’t help but admire.

Isaac’s face shows a look of embarrassment once he sees how easily Miguel can hold him back, so he scoffs and goes back to his seat, grumbling about your ‘big oaf of a guard.’ He complains about the both of you to your father as if you aren’t even in the room. You’re not too sad about it, you’ve grown a bit used to his rejection, and it doesn't sting as bad.

A clock in the corner of the room catches your eye and excitement runs through you with a soft gasp. Miguel looks over to you and follows your gaze to see the time, 3:00 PM. The swirling in his stomach returns as you clear your throat and begin to leave the room. Although you know Mguel will follow, you keep pace with him once you both exit the room, choosing to walk by his side.

You’re always different for the next two hours. You linger by him more, find more excuses to touch him and talk with him. He knows why, he knows how princesses like to play their games, how they love all their suitors. But sometimes he slips up, sometimes he believes your advances are genuine, that you honestly wish for him to whisk you away from your castle life, your perfect, royal life. Then he comes back to reality.

You enter your chambers and stand by the foot of your bed, Miguel by the door. His heart is racing because he knows what comes next. It’s- unfortunately, his favorite time of the day. You stand by your wardrobe, just looking into the mirror before catching his gaze in the reflection. “Mig?” Your soft tone sends a suppressed shiver through his body. “Do you think you could help me?”

He’s walking towards you without hesitation. “I- I’d ask one of the maids but they’re all busy and-” He doesn’t need a justification, you don’t need an excuse. “Of course, Princess. I understand.” You do this every time. Your maids are always ‘too busy’. You both know it's a ruse, but neither of you wants it to stop.

He lets his hands rest on your side for a moment, relishing the way he can feel you expand with the deep breath you take. He slides them back to where you’re laced into your dress and takes his time untying the strings. You wish you could see his hands, the way they’d thread through the strings, how careful and gentle they’d be. Or how small the strings would look between his thick fingers.

Once he finishes loosening your corset he opens it for you, reliving the extreme pressure it puts on you and you thank him with a soft sigh. He’s in a trance though, he slowly removes the fabric from your body. Your spine seems to compress itself, making you seem even shorter than usual now that you don’t have this brace forcing you upright. You’re just watching him in the mirror as his hands come up to your shoulders and slowly turn you around. He’s not looking you in the eyes yet, he’s just looking at you. He looks at your collarbones and slowly pushes your hair over your shoulder to reveal more of you to him. But something snaps him out of his trance and he puts distance between the two of you before you even take a breath. “S- I’m so sorry, Princess.I—” You cut him off before he can say more.

“There's no need for an apology! I didn’t say anything, did I?” There’s a shy flirtiness in your tone that causes Miguel’s face to sink into a dark red color, bringing a giggle to your lips that only worsens his condition. He turns and walks back to the door while you finish undressing.

He keeps his eyes dutifully out the window. Pretending he can't hear the fabric sliding against your naked skin. How he yearns to look, it's like you have your own gravitational pull. It’s a constant struggle to hear you undressing and redressing yourself into something he knows is going to screw with him. You’ll probably change into your favorite nightgown. It’s an adorable sleeved gown with feathers at the top. You always mention you don’t like how long it is, and that it’s “unflattering” but in truth, everything you wear is flattering. You make it so.

Miguel suddenly becomes aware of the silence in the room. No rustling, no sliding fabrics. He risks looking over at you and his heart almost beats out of his chest. It’s new. You must’ve gotten it tailored because he’s never seen anything fit you so well. It’s a night dress, flowy but short, very short. It barely reaches the halfway point of your thigh. It has no sleeves, your neck, collarbones, and shoulders on full display, and the top hugs your breasts in a way he’s never witnessed.

You watch him admire you for a moment before speaking up with a soft “Hmm?” and his eyes fly to yours. “I think it’s quite cute!” You smile at him brightly, waiting for his opinion. He doesn’t give you one though, he just stares at you for a little longer. You grow conscious under his stare and anxiety begins to eat away at you. “W- What do you th—”

His face twitches before he blurts out. “Yes. Yes, you look-- It’s very- You look very cute. It’s beautiful. You- You look amazing, Princess.” His sentence ends with a sharp inhale that's followed by a calm exhale as Migusl straightens out. He’s been slowly leaning down, subconsciously trying to get closer to you. “You look incredible, Princess.” He tries to place his eyes forward again, trying to turn the environment back to professional, he can’t help but look at you one last time as you thank him.

Your eyes are on the ground and your hand sliding up your arm, uncomfortable with all the skin you’re showing. “You do.” Your eyes snap up to his upon his third confirmation. You seem to be searching his eyes for something, looking deep into him in a way he’ll never get used to.

Your brows furrow and you chew on your lip for a few seconds before declaring that he follow you and starting a rapid pace. He follows behind you urgently before realizing where the two of you are headed.

The castle has a lot of tunnels and hidden passageways, these passageways sometimes lead to other rooms in the castle or secret rooms in the castle. One of your handmaidens was kind enough to show you a passageway right by your washroom that leads to a secret chamber. You’d instantly fallen in love with what you found.

Miguel was there the first time you saw it, you laughed so loud it echoed off the walls. You thought it was a novelty. He was there when he saw it pique your interest for the first time. It had been late at night, and Miguel hadn’t retired to his quarters yet so he was guardian of your door. Inside your room, he could hear you giggling with a drunk Ser Isaac. Your giggle soon turned to breathy whines but they were interrupted with a dull ‘thump’ before a very disappointed sigh from you. It was a matter of seconds before you opened your chamber doors and told him to follow you with about the same amount of urgency that you just did.

You told him to guard the door and quickly shut it before you could see any opinion on his face. He was almost hyperventilating at his post. First of all, he was uncomfortable being out here, staring at your drunk, passed-out, fiancé, while you’re in that room doing god knows what. The other thing that bothered him was how he could not stop thinking about how he’d be so much better for you than that machine.

You opened the door again far too quickly with an even more frustrated expression on your face. “I cannot figure it out. It- It doesn’t work.” Your words come out as an exasperated whine that tugs at his heartstrings. “Show me.”

You chew on your lip for a second before opening the door to let him in and shutting it behind the two of you. There’s a single, yellow light overhead, shining down on where you would be sitting, where the heavy, metal rod protrudes from the seat. “This thing? It will not move, no matter how hard I try!” He examines the churning lever, immediately spots the problem, and starts removing his gloves.

“It’s rusted over, Princess. I can fix it.” You watch as his thick fingers curl around the lever and his biceps tense as he pushes, trying to break it free of the rust. There’s an awful screeching sound and Miguel grunts roughly as the lever begins to move. You try to hide your smile of excitement as Miguel rotates the handle a few more times before letting go. “There.”

You rush over to test for yourself and make sure you can operate it on your own. You smile and turn to Miguel after moving it around with ease. He smirks back at you while he brushes his hands together to remove the rust, and something about the whole scene does something to you. His hands are dirty, his knuckles hairy, his hands huge and thick as he stares at you with something you haven't seen before. You still have one more problem.

“It also…” You trail off before clearing your throat and starting again. “It doesn’t seem to fit.”

Miguel has to shut his eyes for a moment as arousal floods his veins. He takes a deep breath before looking up at you with the softest expression he could muster, hoping it would hide his lust. “You need to start with your fingers, Princess.”

Your eyes widen at his answer and you quickly nod despite him being able to see the confusion written all over your face. He smiles fondly before explaining further. “That.” He gestures to the machine. “Is too big for most girls.” He looks you directly in your eyes as he speaks, slowly bending to your height. “So you have to start with your fingers.” Your eyes dart to his dirty hands for a moment. “You put them inside you, however many you can take.”

You start blinking rapidly like your innocent little brain is having trouble processing what he’s telling you. All you respond with is, “Oh.” Miguel chuckles quietly before standing upright and putting his gloves back on. “Yes. I hope that helps.” You walk up to the door with him, to open it for him or accompany him out but you both pause when you hear a bit of commotion on the other side of the door.

You watch him as he identifies the noise, and breathe out a soft sigh of relief when you see his tense expression relax. “They’re cleaning up Ser Isaac.” He states with a certain disdain that makes you smile softly. You stare at him.

“Okay, then you stay here.” You walk over to the seat and churn the lever a few times to ensure you could do it yourself before sitting on the edge, not quite on the metal penis but close. Miguel is watching from the corner with wide eyes, unable to rationalize what’s going on. You simply tell him “Don’t look.” And he whips his head back around.

He stares at the dark wall, unknowing what he’s waiting for until he hears it. A soft sigh leaves your lips. He waits. He receives more. You grow in volume as you become wetter, he can hear it, the little squelching sounds getting louder, and faster as you get more desperate. Miguel is using all his willpower to not turn around and take in what he has no doubt is a beautiful sight.

He hears your whines muffle as you bite your lip and he wishes you could tell you not to, that he wants to hear them all and more. He heard you let out a ragged breath as you added another finger and he couldn’t help his desire to do it for you, but he happily settled with only hearing your beautiful sounds and movements.

He thanks the Gods every day for letting him stay in that room, for giving him the saccharine memories of you pleasuring yourself for the first time.

This time feels different though. You’re all dressed up and giving him that look. The one that swirls fantasies into his head and makes his hands clam up.

He follows you to the room and assumes his position in the corner, but never hears the metallic clink of you situating yourself in the seat. He waits and waits but hears nothing, no movement from you. So he turns around. He has to see what you’re doing, even if it's only for a second, just to make sure you’re safe.

He finds you standing directly behind him, staring right at him so you guys make eye contact the moment he looks over his shoulder. He instantly turns back around, embarrassed that you found him looking, and worried you might get the wrong idea.

Miguel tries to explain himself, stumbling and stuttering over the start of his sentence before you cut him off. “How come you never look?”

The question silences him.

“Do you have no desire to?” He turns around again. You seem genuine in your questioning, he feels like he detects a bit of hurt in your voice as well, but that’s most likely in his head.

“You know I cannot desire.” He states softly. He, as a knight, cannot desire any woman, and most definitely not a princess. Yet he sees anger flash through your eyes at his statement.

“Just because someone tells you you’re not allowed, does not mean you can’t.” Miguel stays silent, not knowing what you want him to say in response. He can see you scanning his face, examining his features to try and find any crack in his exterior. You must find whatever you’re looking for because you suddenly nod and take a step back.

“Who are you more loyal to, your oath, or me?” The question baffles him. “If I, your princess, were to tell you to disobey your oath… Would you?”

His eyes widen and you can see the gears turning in his head, trying to understand where his loyalties should lie. His mouth opens and closes with unsaid words and you decide to give him a break.

“Come here.” You demand, pointing next to the machine, by the churning lever. You take a deep breath, seat yourself by the metal phallus, and slip a finger under your gown before you can give it a second thought.

You slide your fingers over your panties for a moment, teasing yourself. Through a lot of trial and error, you’ve found that this is your favorite part; exploring your body, what makes you feel good, and feeling yourself soak your panties throughout the process.

You hear Miguel take a sharp breath of air, reminding you of his presence and sending a jolt to your core. You’ve never been like this in front of someone, aside from what Miguel could hear and the few times your fiancé was sober enough to attempt to get you off. But even then, it didn't feel like it does now.

You can’t help but imagine what it would be like if Miguel was the one touching you. If it were his thick fingers sliding under the satin fabric of your underwear to finally slide into you. There’s a burning stretch due to you using two fingers instead of one but it only furthers your fantasies of Miguel’s large hands. You peek your eyes open for a moment, your gaze still on the ground but you can see his feet, a small (or rather large) reminder that he’s right there.

You can’t help the whimper that slips out, louder than usual. You’re more desperate. You can’t think of any other reason aside from him. You’re soaking your fingers in a way you haven’t since your first time and it’s driving you wild. “Miguel” His name comes out with a small whine, pitching your voice up and scrambling his brain.

He has to take a deep breath before answering you out of fear that his voice will shake. “Princess?” His voice is rough and gravelly. He hears you take a sharp breath at the sound of it before clearing your throat in hopes of composing yourself.

“You will churn the lever for me today.” His heart stops. “Understood, Ser?” His eyelids flutter as his eyes burn holes in the wall he’s facing. He goes over your sentence in his head, assuming he must’ve misheard you. His brows furrow and twitch along with his face before accepting that he heard you correctly. “Un-” He takes a shaking breath. “Understood, Princess.”

His hand comes up to wrap around the lever without him even looking in your direction.

You stare up at him as you pull your panties aside and slide down the cold metal, your teeth digging into your lip to try and keep any noises inside. You only let out a satisfied sigh once you’ve sunk to the bottom before pushing yourself to the tip again.

You can’t help but focus on him. He’s right there. You can see the curve of his nose and the plush of his lips, the way they purse before his tongue comes out to wet them and pull one into his mouth to bite. He doesn’t have his helmet on so you can see his rich brown curls, the way they frame his face and dance over his neck. You can see his thick, bushy brows, and behind his beautiful lashes are his warm, chocolate-brown eyes looking down at you.

You gasp once your eyes meet and Miguel goes red. He just wanted to see you for a moment. You’re right there, practically whining in his ear as you impale yourself on what should be his cock.

He can’t take it anymore, he can’t hold his feelings back as he feels a ripple flow through him and blood rush to his dick. His head decides to conjure every arousing, heart-warming, lovable memory he has of you. He hears you whine again at the loss of eye contact, even if it was only for a moment. Another ripple flows through him, settling in his lower stomach, and creating a painful pressure as your whimpers grow. He tries to redirect his thoughts and focus ahead as he keeps churning for you, cranking the lever again, and again. Your moans pick up as he regains his steady pace.

He tries not to imagine that it’s him. He tries not to think about the fact that your moaning aligns with the throbbing of his cock. He definitely doesn't think about the way his dick is pressing into the metal plate covering his cock. He doesn’t note the way his free hand twitches behind his back, wishing to provide any sense of relief to himself. He doesn’t get distracted by the thought of him touching himself with you sitting right there.

You feel your orgasm building before Miguel starts to slow down again, his timing uneven again and you look up at him in confusion. He’s staring at the wall, his chest heaving and that same expression on his face. You don’t care to decipher what it means in your impatience. Miguel just feels your delicate hand on his, pushing his hand, forcing him to churn the lever.

You moan as your seat becomes functional. Your chin collides with your chest as you release all the moans and whimpers you’ve been trying to quiet. It almost feels like he’s been toying with you, with all his starting and stopping. You’ve been pushed to the edge of your sanity.

You can’t comprehend how embarrassing this might be for you, a princess burying this rod inside you again and again, wishing it was someone other than who you’re set to marry.

You shake the thought of Isaac from your head and replace it with Miguel. Just thinking about the life you could have with him has you tensing over the metal. Your fingers lace with his before you can even think about what you’re doing.

Miguel’s gaze is now on the ceiling, his eyes already slipping shut as your nails dig into his hand. His dick is leaking behind his crotch plate now, begging for your attention, a feeling he isn’t used to regulating. He feels himself pulse painfully and his free hand twitches again.

Just for a moment. He thinks. Just one second.

His hand comes from behind his back to crush itself against his crotch, trying to relieve any pressure before he loses his mind, but you hear the clink of the metal hitting and open your eyes instantly. You spot his hand over his dick before slowly looking up to meet his eyes. Miguel lets a moan slip out as he massages himself more thoroughly, squeezing more precum from his tip before pulling away and forcing himself to break your stare.

“Please.” Is all he hears from you. It’s weak, pathetic, and punches him in the gut, taking all the breath from his lungs. His eyes wander back to you before he can think better of it and he’s instantly stuck, locked into your eyes.

He watches your body catch alight. You tremble over the steel cock, holding eye contact with Miguel and pushing his hand, forcing him to churn, fuck you over and over as you cum. He can’t do anything but watch. He doesn’t even think about touching himself, not wanting anything to take his attention away from this moment.

He watches you come down, your body melting into a puddle before him. You drape yourself over the front of the machine as you huff. Even out of breath and covered in sweat, your hair a mess and your dress surely mussed, he thinks you look like an angel, and it breaks his heart that he’ll never be able to keep you.

He takes a deep breath before releasing the lever, relishing in the whine that leaves your throat as the rod slides out of you one final time. Despite better thinking, Miguel pats your head fondly, almost petting you before speaking as softly as he can. “Come on, Princess. Let’s get you to bed.”

You only hum and bury yourself in his neck as he lifts you from your seat. He takes his time getting back to your room, letting you rest in his arms for as long as he can allow.

He lays you on your bed gently, propping your head up on the pillow and even going to cover you before you stop him. “Mmm Mig..” You begin sitting up again and stretch before opening your eyes to look at him.

Your eyebrows twitch, furrowing for a moment before he sees recognition in your eyes, quickly accompanied by mischief. “Sit down.” Your voice slurs adorably with your fatigue. He doesn’t get to hear this often. Normally, he’d do anything to stay with you, talk with you just a little more.

But Miguel is still harder than steel in his suit, so pairing that with the hard metal of his armor, and sitting down? It sounds like the most painful thing he could do right now. “Princess… You should get some res-”

“ Sit down, Miguel.” He stares at you, debating his options again in the face of your stubbornness. You, however, take this as more defiance. “Please?” You beg him.

You should know you never have to beg him for anything.

He’s seated before your mouth even shuts. Your mouth is shaped into a smirk before he can take a breath, and you’re in his lap before he can blink.

“Wha-?” Is all he can breathe out before your mouth is on his. His hands find your hips on instinct, grabbing all that he can and pulling it against him. You pull away. “Thank you.” And dive for him again.

He places one hand behind your head to ensure you don’t do it again.

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist or send me some motivation here!!

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beforeimdeceased · 1 month

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ENTANGLED IN YOU — FLOWER KNOWS BEST!

click me!

ellie williams x reader

a/n: this is definitely something! idk do you guys like dialogue heavy parts? i wanted it to feel very tense and rushed like it would in a scene. whatever this is just for fun!

tags: @onlinelesbo, @seraphicsentences

masterlist

“holy fuck! holy fuck.”

“shit.”

you both scream out in terror at the sight of each other. before you, the freckle faced woman is tied to a chair with rope. eyebrows furrowed as she regains consciousness and realizes where she is.

“who are you? are you looking for the cure?” you point the pan at her, using it to size her up.

“this has got to be some kind of sick fucking joke. cure? who are you?”

“i asked you first.” you reply snarkily, holding the pan closer to her face.

she struggles with the rope a bit, reaching for the switchblade that’s usually in her pocket. once she realizes it’s gone, she visibly becomes angry. “i’m a person who wants to get out of these fucking ropes.”

you back away a little bit, putting the pan down. her face softens as she studies yours. it’s clear that you’re just scared. more than she is. you look around for a pair of scissors.“i thought you were someone else.”

“someone else, huh? i’d hate to see what you do to them.” she slumps further in the chair, surrendering to the restraints.

“where are you coming from? i thought that everyone out there was infected.”

“how long have you been up here? infected have been dying out since the cure was created. there are settlements everywhere.”

“i knew it was a settlement! the one with the festival lights.”

“yes. alot of them have those.” she deadpans.

you revel in excitement and prepare to rapid fire questions, especially ones about the cure she mentioned, but you’re interrupted by the sound of doctor calling from below. you look at the mystery woman, and she looks at you. before she can scream for help you jump on her. the two of you fall to the ground with your hand on her mouth. she licks it, causing you to give her a disappointed look.

“if she finds you here she will kill you. you need to-“

“flower!”

“you need to shut up. i’ll hide you in my room. please, don’t make any noise.” you plea.

you look into her eyes, an iridescent verdant, light shining into them. they meet yours and she sees you. all your fear and confusion. she nods, and you lift her up, dragging her into your room.

“flower? flower!”

“coming!”

the world begins to move in slow motion. possibilities unraveling themselves in your mind. you pull the lever, and put on your best inconspicuous smile.

“did you check on the lights?” you rush.

“no hello? don’t be rude flower i-“

“hello. did you check the lights, doctor?”

she lets out a deep breath, looking over at you with compassion and sadness in her eyes. “i did. i understand you were excited but i was right. nothing out there but remains and infected. no viable life except for the land.”

you don’t know what to say. you’re not sure if she’s aware or if she’s lying to you. the former is somewhat comforting but you’re leaning towards the latter, following a feeling in your gut.

her watch goes off and she rushes to hug you. “i’m sorry sweetheart, i have to go again. i’ll be back in three days time. i promise, i’ll make this birthday extra special.” she places a kiss on your forehead and quickly rushes back down the tower.

you have to stand with yourself. soaking in the moment. questioning the person you’ve been with your entire life and putting their word against the stranger you just met. a series of scenarios running through your mind-

“where’s my switchblade?” the mysterious woman interrupts.

“fuck- sorry. i forgot you were here.”

you watch as she rubs her wrists. you always did tie terrible knots.

“you forgot i was here? you tied me up and told me your friend was going to kill me if i didn’t stay quiet.”

you shake your head. “we don’t have to go over the details. i’m sorry. i hid it somewhere.”

“well, can i have it back?”

the gears begin to turn in your mind. cooking up an idea so cartoonishly that you can swear a lightbulb formed over your head.

“i will give you back your knife-“

“switchblade.”

“whatever. i will give it back if you take me to see the lights.”

“i could just kill you.”

“and you’ll leave without your knife-“

“switch. blade.”

“because i’ve hidden it where you’ll never be able to find it.”

she rolls her eyes. “seriously?”

you inch closer to her. “please. i promise i’ll give it back to you, i never break a promise. i just need to see the outside world. i’ve never been allowed to leave this place.”

she stares at you for a moment. eyeing you up and down. “did you hit me over the head with a frying pan?”

you suck your teeth, crossing your arms and huffing. “listen. i will give you whatever you want and more if you show me the festival lights .”

“they’re normal lights?” she corrects.

you can feel your patience waning. “i should’ve kept you tied up and taped your mouth shut.”

“i should just kill you.”

“no!” you shake your head rapidly “please. what’s your name? doctor calls me flower. what’s your name?”

she hesitates. “ellie.”

“ellie. it’s nice to meet you ellie.” you smile but she’s not in the mood.

“i will give you back all your stuff, some paintings and sweaters i’ve made. even a portion of a cure doctor made using my blood if you-“

“your blood?”

“yes, i’m immune. i actually shouldn’t even be telling you that…”

everything else is a blur for ellie. thoughts race through her mind as she realizes the seriousness of what you’ve just confessed. and she thought she was the only one.

“okay. fine, whatever. i’ll take you to see the ‘lights’ and then when i bring you back you give me my stuff. and the cure.”

this is an offer you can’t refuse. a chance at uncovering the truth. an opportunity to explore the world in a way you never had before. and you must make it there and back in three days time.

“deal.”

#bunnie can speak? ☆#ellie williams #・❥・ bun’s sweet ellie #ellie williams x reader #bun’s asks ꕤ #bun’s anons ˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐 #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams imagine #princess au #tlou fanfic #tlou headcanons #ellie williams tlou #fanfic series #wlw imagine #wlw fantasy #wlw fanfic #ellie x reader fluff #ellie williams the last of us

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artsyannierose · 7 months

Text

Nene’s Dead Corpse and her ghost bf

randomly made a crap ton more sense to me

why?

fricking school (screw school I hate you (no not rly I’m just stressed))

Anyway I’m a biomed class where unit 1 is studying medical investigations forensic science style

and one of the things is like, what happens to a person after the body has been dead for a while (post mortem or sum, see im learning :D)

Things like algor mortis, livor mortis, I’ve heard of. In fact I’ve even studied the clouding of the corneas before, but it never got to me till today

maybe it’s cause I cannot for the life of me study forensics without my wild imagination giving me nightmares or just panicking when I’m alone but aNyWays

I tend to imagine characters associated with death in these scenarios so I don’t lose it in class💀

*cough* Nene *cough cough*

So as I was taking notes on the slideshow, some of the images of clouded corneas reminded me strangely of something familiar, but at that point I couldn’t tell. There’s something haunting about the eyes (or maybe it’s just my over-analytical brain loving small details like this) they’re GORGEOUS

IDK THEYRE PRETTY

Maybe it’s ‘cause the true color of the iris is completely visible in all its glory, without the pupil obscuring it

(something like this?? A little vivid tho lol)

but like

there’s no

life

no reflection, no emotion…nothing (which is so hauntingly beautiful leave me alone I’m a sucker for this now)

it’s literally just an eye with nothing but color

and then it hit me…it’s exactly the look Nene had when Mirai fast-forwarded her time

you can see in the image it’s just her plain magenta eyes with a fuzzy de-saturated blob in the center…aka clouded corneas

And that honestly made me realize that in this scene she’s not—she’s not even unconscious

No she’s literally, physiologically dead

THAT IS A CORPSE HE IS HOLDING

she is literally a dead body this hits me so hard😭😭

and I can imagine algor mortis kicked in by then, her body was probably cold to the touch

so imagine how he felt, and I’m aware people have analyzed his emotions but just think about it

he’s always seen her so full of life and hope, and now all he has left is an empty shell of her, cold and dead with no life left inside

…just like him

the more I think about it Hanako is just an animated corpse

he has no reflection in his eyes most of the time because he is ✨dead✨

I mean Mei, Mitsuba, and Hanako don’t have a little white reflection dot like Nene and Kou

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and Nene’s eyes are just super reflective

even for someone who presumably took his own life, he probably never saw tsukasa’s body start postmortem and actually feel dead bc it looked extremely bloody ngl (I’m guessing he killed himself right after 💔)

and now he’s holding someone he cares about like this for the first time and I’ll bet that scarred him

and he figured out that never, never ever did he ever want to see his sweet assistant like this again, lifeless in his arms

and so after that, cue Hanako in his villain era who basically became a yandere the entire picture perfect lmao

and he was unbelievably adamant about it too

I mean honestly if I held anybody I knew lifeless like that I’d be scarred for life and crying for days

seeing the light drained from someone’s eyes is so interestingly sad to me

Look at the difference:

Happy

vs Sad/Determined

vs Depressed (ig??)

vs Dead

She still has so much emotion in her eyes

and then d e a d

literally looks like a porcelain doll

wait she looks so pale in the last image compared to the others now that I think about it

I love aidairo’s eye for detail it’s so fun to figure out

Well anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk essay atp-

IT’S PAST 1 AM AND I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR SAID BIOMED CLASS AND HERE I AN GOING ON A TANGENT ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER’S EYES

send help

anyways excuse me while I grab a box of strawberries to munch on and cry my eyes out all over my homework before I sleep-

#hananene #tbhk #jshk #hanako kun #toilet bound hanako-kun #yashiro nene #tbhk manga spoilers #aidairo #my ramblings #my rambles #i literally have to wake up in 3 hours what am I doing #Yknow screw school Hananene is more important #i love angst #they’re so bittersweet #and beautiful

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sincerelyhannahx · 6 months

Text

To celebrate Asexual Visibility Week (which Happy Asexual Visibility Week by the way omg), here is a list of characters who are now asexual because I said so:

Crowley and Aziraphale (Good Omens) I mean, this is basically canon for me already but their relationship genuinely means so much to me because it's not inherently romantic or sexual or even strictly platonic, they just have such a strong emotional bond and love each other in a way that I think could only be asexual. And being fairly new to my sexuality (not even a year yet) I really needed them in my life. Maybe I don't want an allonormative relationship - maybe I just want what they have. Idk they're just really special to me.

Belle (Beauty and the Beast) Belle being ace removes the beastiality aspect of the story so I think this is best for everyone involved. (This goes for Tiana too, actually - ace!Tiana, let's go). But she literally fell in love with the Beast because of his personality after spending a long time getting to know him (and because of a Library but ykw me too girlie). And it helps that I've had a strong attachment to Belle since forever (and I actually played her in a school production when I was 6).

Peter Pettigrew (Harry Potter) Right, so I do hate Peter and I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to, but omg he is so asexual. And definitely not saying that asexual people are going to betray and murder their best friends but I feel like not fitting in with his very allonormative group and maybe not even knowing what the term asexual means could be an interesting motivation for his actions. Peter feeling like he's broken somehow for not feeling what the others are feeling, thinking there must be something wrong with him since everyone else is falling in love, viewing himself as unloveable because platonic love isn't enough when everyone else has a brilliant romance, turning to the Dark Lord because he's been left behind but maybe this will fix him... and then losing that platonic love too and realising he didn't need fixing after all and his friends were enough, but now it's too late. So, anyway, ace!Peter makes me sad.

Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) "There's never been anything romantic between Gale and me." This is 100% because Gale is a walking red flag but I'll take it as an aroace thing too. “Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me any time you feel like it.” The fact she didn't fall head-over-heels in love with Peeta as soon as he said this is honestly all the evidence I need. Also trying to act like you're madly in love with someone? I know it was for survival but, again, I'll take what I can get. "What I need is the dandelion in the spring... And only Peeta can give me that." This is not an allosexual relationship, I will not change my mind. Personally, I think Katniss is probably demisexual and I love her for that.

The Doctor (Doctor Who) If I had a nickel for every time David Tennant played an 'immortal' genderfluid asexual non-human who loves the stars and humanity, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. And if I had a nickel for every time I was in love with those characters, I would also have two nickels. But, yeah, the Doctor is asexual, that's just canon for me (and David Tennant said it too soooooooo).

Zoe Nightshade (Percy Jackson) The Hunters of Artemis are a sisterhood that requires you to swear off love and relations with men. Oh no, what a sacrifice! Come to think of it, she also has a connection to the stars - this is becoming a recurring thing.

Artemis, Athena, and Hestia (Greek Mythology) The fact there is a trio of asexual goddesses will never not make me so happy. In the Homeric Hymns, 5, To Aphrodite, Aphrodite is described as having "no power" over these three, which basically just confirms what everyone was already thinking. Artemis is quite literally the Maiden Goddess, who asks her father, Zeus, to forever remain a virgin and protect those who wish the same. Athena never took on any lovers (and in the Percy Jackson series, her children are conceived through her thoughts and born in the same way she was). And Hestia just wanted to be left alone with her hearth, also never marrying or having children.

Barbie (Barbie) "To do what?" Girlie literally has nothing going on down there (for the majority of the movie, idk what happened at the end) and doesn't understand why Ken wants to stay over because they're girlfriend boyfriend. The point of the Barbies is that they show women can be everything so, legally, no one can stop me saying she's an asexual icon.

Regulus Black (Harry Potter) I apologise to all the Jegulus stans out there but you can pry Regulus from my cold, dead hands. Asexual and Bi/Pan friendships are my absolute favourite (shout out to me and my bestie <3) and that is exactly what he's got with Pandora. Also, after Sirius was disowned, the responsibility of continuing the Black family line would fall to Regulus and that aroace pressure makes for some beautiful angst. And it means he's okay with sacrificing himself because at least he won't have to force a life he doesn't want. Why does the Marauders era always turn so sad so quickly?

Inej Ghafa (Six of Crows) Again with the Asexual and Bi/Pan friendships - I'm really just projecting myself and my best friend onto Inej and Nina, but who's going to stop me? I could say Ace!Kaz as well but I think his is more just a trauma response than a sexuality.

Elsa (Frozen) and Merida (Brave) Watch out, Disney; I'm coming for all of your princesses. I'm putting these two together because they could be asexual but I could also see them as lesbians - or maybe they're both.

Charlie Weasley (Harry Potter) He is the blueprint. Mum wants me to get married and settle down? Yeah, okay, but have you heard about dragons?

Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts) He is also the blueprint. Yeah, okay, but have you heard about every beast to ever exist ever?

I could keep going but I won't (for now). These characters mean so much to me and my asexuality and these headcanons honestly make me so happy. But honestly, we need more asexual characters in media because we're so underrepresented and it's such a serotonin boost. Like, in S4 of Sex Education, I actively gasped and had such a big smile on my face when O came out as ace (at the representation, not the being forced to come out). Anyway, Happy Asexual Visibility Week!

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romantichomicide95 · 1 year

Note

“You’re the one avoiding me.” for Levi? 👀

Drabble Prompts

“You’re the one avoiding me”

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Why was this so hard. It’s not like Levi acting weird was new to you. You’d known him for so long, loved him for so long. You didn’t think he felt the same so you buried it deep inside you, as to not ruin the friendship you’d built. But you had a friendship, a strong one. So him acting weird may not be new, but him completely avoiding you was.

But ever since that night he’d been avoiding you. That night, a week prior, when you both had stayed up way to long. When sleep was calling you but you weren’t answering. The night you kissed him and he didn’t kiss you back. It was stupid. You knew that. But looked so good that night, and his eyes looked like he wanted it. The way he was looking at you. And his muscles, almost popping out of his shirt, collarbone visible, hair messy. You couldn’t help yourself. You just kissed him. You opened your eyes and he looked almost sad. So you ran off, and he hadn’t talked to you since.

You couldn’t take it anymore, so what if he didn’t like you back? He was your friend first, and you wanted that friend back. So here you were, in front of his office door. Thinking of any excuse not to knock, to just leave it alone. You were scared, this was hard.

“Come in.” You heard his voice call from the other side of the door. It was now or never.

“Uhhh Hey Levi…Captain…Captain Levi.” This was starting our great you thought.

“Y/N.” He nodded for you to take a seat at the chair opposite his own.

“Hey.” You said again “Uhm. So, I was hoping we could talk.”

“Talk about?” you hated that you couldn’t decipher the tone of his voice or the look in his face. Even after knowing him all this time he was so hard to read.

“Uh. Why you’re avoiding me.”

“You’re the one avoiding me Y/N.” Avoiding him? No. You weren’t the one doing the avoiding, you thought. No way. Sure, you hadn’t tried talking to him. You didn’t wait for him after training like you usually did to help him with horses. You didn’t make him a cup of tea in the morning when you knew he had a rough night. But that was because he was avoiding you. Right?

“No. I mean…maybe. I-I kissed you Levi.”

“I know. I was there.” Sarcasm. Always laced within his words. If he wasn’t so cute you could just kick him.

“Right. Well. I guess I don’t know who’s avoiding who…” him, you thought “but I don’t want our friendship to get thrown out because of some dumb kiss. I’m sorry, I was caught up in the moment and, and, and idk I like you Levi. But I can push that away to have you as my friend.”

“It wasn’t dumb.”

“What?” You were confused.

“The kiss. It wasn’t dumb.” He pulled your chair closer to his own, so your knees were touching.

“Oh. Okay…wait what does that mean?”

“It means I like you to dumbass. You’d know that if you didn’t avoid me for a week.”

“Really?” You felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. For the first time you saw him look at you, the way he looked at you. You didn’t know how you couldn’t see it before. Before you could say anything else his lips were on yours, and in that moment it felt like the world just stopped spinning, there was a deep pressure in your chest, butterflies maybe.

“Yes. Really.” he said as he pulled himself away from you. You were still for a moment, reveling in your first real kiss with him. “You ran off that night, you didn’t give me a chance to say anything.”

You did run off. Only because he looked weird, or you thought he looked weird. Maybe you read him wrong, maybe it was shock. You did it out of nowhere.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I just, I thought you couldn’t possible like me back. Than you were avoiding me and I thought that was why.”

“You were avoiding me.”

“Levi. It doesn’t matter who was avoiding who. What matters is, we have these feelings. Where do we go from here.”

“I’m not sure. Our lives are a mess. I just know I don’t ever want you out of my life for a week or anything more.”

“Okay. Yeah. We can like, idk spend some more time together. Alone.” You suggest.

“Only if we can keep doing this.” He says pulling you in to kiss again, this time more passionately. With more vigor.

“Always keep doing this.”

#levi ackerman #attack on titan #captain levi #aot #levi aot #levi x reader #snk levi #levi attack on titan #levi headcanon #drabble prompts #levi drabble

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otherperson12 · 1 year

Note

First of all I am so excited about someone taking requests for this beautiful fandom with beautiful characters! And idk if anyone picked it up as well but I found Kiri x Spider so cute, could you write a first kiss and/or shy love confession for them? <3

Thank you for your request! This was the first one. It wasn't very fluffy but I hope you liked it. Any comments are welcome

The truth you deserve (Spider x Kiri)

He didn't know how to feel, he felt like he couldn't process it all. So much in so little.

After the battle and being with the Sully's again, seeing Kiri safe made his heart a little loose; to take her hand and feel it warm and trembling next to his, to know she was alive.

The next thing was hard, he knelt down between Kiri and Lo'ak to contemplate the body of his friend Neteyam, for some reason, Spider didn't feel it real, even with the big blood stain on the rock and on his still chest. He felt that at any moment Neteyam would get up and hug his parents and greet them, scold his brother for being a jerk and lovingly ruffle Tuk's hair. But he didn't. It was Tonowari who carefully approached and told Jake that they should move the body. All that time, throughout the funeral process, Kiri clung to Spider and he let her, but the human felt a bitterness he couldn't explain. Something didn't feel right. It didn't feel right. Unworthy.

"I don't think I can do it alone." Kiri told him, taking his hand to join him, Spider saw her now sad eyes and joined her. Kiri, daughter of Grace, his dear friend who always held her head high, who tried to stay strong for her parents and siblings, was now asking him for help, companionship and comfort.

Seeing the body of her friend from life, falling into the sea and being embraced by the sea grass, was hard, but the next thing was worse. He could hear the bubbles emerge from Lo'ak's mouth in tears; as he emerged from the water, Neytiri's empty eyes and Jake's defeated ones, Tuk's crying as he hugged his father. But Kiri's eyes, bathed in silent tears was the worst. And her hand always steady, now trembling...but she never let out a hiccup or a sound. She just cried silently. Needless to say, no one slept that night. Spider realized what he had done, what he was guilty of.

The Sully family stayed with the Metkayna's and Spider stayed with them.

With guilt on his mind and a broken heart, he walked away from everyone. Could he really stay? As the days passed, the grief stopped being very visible. Lo'ak would go for walks with Tsireya, Tuk would go swimming and Kiri would go to the ocean. It seemed that battle, blood and death were left with the passing of the sun for most, but not for Spider.

One beautiful morning, the scent of the ocean and sand, with the sea breeze calling you to explore it, Kiri invited Spider to see Pandora's sea.

"Come on, Monkey Boy. It's beautiful," she invited him with a smile.

"Maybe another time, Kiri." He replied muffled as he tried to get as far away from her as possible.

Spider didn't feel worthy of anyone's kindness, not the metkayna, not the Sully and certainly not Kiri's gentle and sincere smiles. He often wondered what would happen between them when he told her how he had helped Quarich and his kind, those who had hurt his family, those who had taken the life of his older brother. How he had saved him and let him go?

Would Kiri hate him?

Would he yell at him?

Or would she ignore him?

"It's your fault, Spider. It's your fault I'm dead," Neteyam was telling him, "you helped the one who tried to destroy the Na'vi, who tried to kill my family and who caused my death."

"It's your fault, you killed Neteya! You're just like all humans, I thought you were my friend, Spider!" Lo'ak shouted at him, enraged.

"You will never be one of us, you will never be my son." Jake told him with disappointment.

"No, stop! Listen to me, I'm sorry, okay?" demanded Spider desperately trying to explain himself. Moving around trying to give a face to everyone around him. Until he heard her, her voice. No, not her.

"Is that true, Spider? Did you help him?"

"Kiri-," he tried to speak as soon as he turned to see her. Her ears were drooped in grief, her eyes full of anguish as she hugged herself for shelter.

"Tell me, Spider, did you help him?"

"I can explain-"

"Answer me!"

Embarrassment and fear of the reaction she might get caused her to lower her gaze before answering, "Yes."

One by one they turned away from him, who in desperation, clutched his head and hair and in cries of despair tried to apologize. And he was left alone. Once again he was alone, without parents, siblings or friends. Without Kiri, who didn't even turn to look at him one last time.

"You're just like me, son."

Spider woke up startled, luckily he didn't wake anyone. He wasn't alone, everyone was still there, Kiri was close to him. No one knew, but he wasn't sure how much more he could keep the secret. More than one. Spider spent the rest of the night watching Kiri sleep, his dear strange girl. He wasn't ready to tell Jake or Neytiri, or Lo'ak, but Kiri, she deserved the truth. He didn't feel deserving of her gentleness and generosity, he couldn't go on with his heart wrung out in guilt and if telling her the truth meant he would never be the same again it didn't matter. She deserved the truth and someone who was capable of speaking the truth.

The next morning Lo'ak, Tsireya, Tuk, Kiri and Spider went to ride the sea in the ilus. Spider stayed with Kiri all day. For hours, he enjoyed her company and had fun with her, as if nothing had happened. But deep down, the sadness of being rejected and hated consumed him.

Kiri showed him the creatures of the sea with enthusiasm and fascination. His eyes sparkled and a toothy grin adorned his face, Spider was not looking at the fish in front of him, but at her.

"Isn't it amazing, Monkey Boy?" she waved her hands at him.

"It's beautiful," Spider replied looking at her.

She was going to swim away when he stopped her by holding her hand. He guided her to the surface and they stood there, floating, looking into each other's eyes. Kiri was used to Spider's witticisms, so she waited. Spider simply looked into her eyes, those green eyes that reminded her of the forest that was her home.

When Kiri noticed that Spider seemed to struggle to speak, she walked over to him and with a hand on his shoulder asked if he was okay.

"Kiri, I-"

"You...?"

"I must confess something to you and it terrifies me to think that- that you will hate me after I tell you. But you deserve the truth and- I do it because I really care about you and if telling you means you'll hate me it doesn't matter because I can't keep it from you, not you." Spider's heart was beating fast and thundering in his ears. He finally dared to look her in the eye.

Kiri watched him with a frown of concern but she thought she knew where this was going. Since Neteyam's funeral, no one, not Lo'ak or her had asked Spider what had happened in his time with Quaritch. Kiri wasn't quite sure why she didn't ask, but she didn't or didn't. Now she feared the words that might come out of Spider's mouth.

"When I was with Quaritch, I helped him." he confessed without hesitation, staring at her. He didn't wait for Kiri's response before continuing. "I don't know why I did it, I just did it, but when I was on the ship, no! When they attacked the tulkun I didn't do anything..I just stood there looking like an idiot. But when I saw you I felt so happy...And- and Neteyam, I- I'm so sorry, Kiri." He paused and continued, "I really didn't mean for anything bad to happen and I've regretted it all these days. I- it's my fault that your brother is no longer here.

"..."

"I had to tell you, you're too important to me to keep such a thing from you. I couldn't look you or your family in the eye without feeling guilty. I couldn't help but regret that I had caused you great pain and I- I'm so sorry, Kiri." Without realizing it, tears had begun to sting his eyes, he could no longer see her but the water beneath him. Silence gnawed at him, she would hate him, everyone would hate him.

He cried silently until Kiri hugged him, and Spider to her, he burst out crying disconsolately into her shoulder apologizing between hiccups and sobs. He had stopped apologizing to her, he was apologizing to his friend.

"I'm so sorry, Neteyam. Forgive me, friend." He begged through tears.

Kiri hugged him, feeling his pain. She had watched him succumb in pain and mourning, never letting out a tear to care for her. How could she not love her cute boy? She stroked his hair as he slowly calmed down.

"It's not your fault, Spider. It will never be your fault or Lo'ak's or anyone else's but the one who pulled the trigger." He assured her gently.

Spider pulled away from her shoulder and stood watching her.

"I would never be able to hate you, my Monky Boy." she said as she stroked his hair.

They stood for a few moments like that, close to each other, with the water as their only company. Spider hugged her again, this time letting her rest on his shoulder as he tenderly stroked the opposite hair. Kiri had a lot to process but she would never hate Spider.

She felt the human move his arms, she stood up a little and watched as Spider took a big breath of air and removed his mask, before Kiri could get scared or worried, he held her cheeks and kissed her tenderly. Just enough to get her to respond and he didn't choke. Spider put his mask back on and smiled at her with complete joy.

"Don't ever do it here like that again!" She scolded him, "You might die or something!" He exclaimed as he pinched the boy's arm.

He obviously knew it was dangerous but he would certainly do it again.

In the same way, they both knew that recovering from the loss, the guilt and the use would be a long and difficult road, but they would be there for each other.

#original writing #fanfic #Spider #kiri sully #spider x Kiri #neteyam #lo’ak #avatar the way of water #jake sully #neytiri #angst #avatar request

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tristitia · 6 days

Text

i really loved these ask questions by @archivoasks which I found thru @svnarin and I wanna answer them all! they literally reminded me of my time on quotev where I used to take those free answer surveys! ughhh! I miss making quizzes 😭 but here we go <33

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

guilt. isolation. and my own will to better myself after 10th class.

2. show us a picture of your handwriting?

3. films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

the hangover, pt 3. the campaign. the conjuring 2.

4. what made you start your blog?

I had started so many blogs and deleted them over these 3-4 yrs on Tumblr 😅 but I made my first blog (@demeto-anima) to post astrology incorrect quote, somehow it turned into TR blog, then I started posting my writings on it. When the list of my works started to grow, I made my side-blog @emotioball, then in December of 2022, I deleted both. Then in Jan 2023, I made my beloved @tristitia, on which I used to post my writings on my beloved Taiju, in March I guess, I deleted it too 😭 Now I'm here again, with the same name, but this time posting nothing because I lost that content maker streak in me somewhere back in September of last year 😭

5. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

The best part is, you enjoy what you create and the sad part it, it hurts when ppl don't appreciate what you made with your whole heart 😔💔 (and also that to be visible, to become a bigger blog, you have to be socially active which on so many occasions I had failed to achieve because I'm scared of talking to someone else outside my circle (which is a semi-circle tbh)

6. what scares you the most and why?

My sister dying before me 💔 She is the only person on this planet who loves and understands me without any condition, she's my soul mate, I'll die if she's gone 💔

7. any reacquiring dreams?

yeah... this big road that never seems to end. I always find myself standing alone on it

8. tell a story about your childhood

once a boy in 2nd grade wrote my name on his arm with blade, principle thrashed him so bad (Idk why such things happens to me all the time, something like this repeated I'm 11th grade too)

9. would you say you’re an emotional person?

Yes, on a scale of 0 to 10, I'm 15.

10. what do you consider to be romance?

understanding each other, being honest to each other. random acts of services. making time to meet up at the park or cafe. long walks together, sharing stories, all kind of them, good, bad, embarrassing— this is love

11. what’s some good advice you want to share?

don't ever do anything half-heartedly

12. what are you doing right now?

recovering from typhoid 😭 mustering courage to complete my notes

13. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

get into politics, I love it so much, I'm serious when I say I want to become Prime Minister of India 😭

14. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

books, TV, good movies to watch with my family

15. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

try to be more confident

16. name 3 things that make you happy

books, writing, finally understanding a complex topic

17. do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

I believe in ghosts! I've a whole theory that they live in the lower electromagnetic spectrum of light, yk in the UV range and we cannot see them because we see things in visible range

18. favourite thing about the day?

it's lively, and I'm more productive during this time

19. favourite things about the night?

you got to make vivid scenarios before bed

20. are you a spiritual person?

not right now, but I want to be. achieve that state of peacefulness and satisfaction

21. say 3 things about someone you love

they stuck with me when I thought they'll leave. they respect my opinions. they never judges me.

22. say 3 things about someone you hate

you're mean. you're arrogant. you'll never know love if you'll keep making everything about yourself.

23. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

I know when to distance myself from things that are running me mentally and/or physically

24. fave season and why?

summer, because there are lots of flowers and butterfly and green grass and blue sky and basically, lots of colors and life

25. fave colour and why?

yellow, because it reminds me of warmth, sun, sunflowers and that everything will be okay if it's not already, also Taiju's eyes are yellow so that's why too 🤭

26. any nicknames?

yeah, my one friend calls me Ashi and other calls me Asubaba

27. do you collect anything?

foreign currencies!

28. what do you do when you’re sad?

I watch TV 😭 and cry

29. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

writing, especially when it turns out the way I wanted it too 🫶✨️

30. are you messy or organised?

mostly organized

31. how many tabs do you have open right now?

34 right now ♡ last week the number reached 80

32. any hobbies?

writing, reading, journaling

33. any pet peeves

i hate it when ppl talk to me in a way that they are demeaning me. homophobes and ppl who don't respect other person's culture, religion, ethenicity, etc. also irks me a lot

34. do you trust easily?

yeah 😔

35. are you an open book or do you have walls up?

according to my sister, I'm the most obvious person on this planet

36. share a secret

I think I'm bi

37. fave song at the moment?

coney island by taylor swift ft. the national

38. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

Dhruv Rathee, he is so brave and speaks the facts about the current situation in thr country. logical and presents his view without applying any bias biasness

#[🥀] tris's personal universe #this was rotting in my drafts since ever lol 🥲

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r26yz · 5 months

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Rambles incoming :D

idk, i just... I FREAKING LOVE the dazaku writers in pixiv and lofter. I am not fluent in japanese or chinese, heck im not even fluent in english, i read them using google translate (i want to thank google for dazai obama) and its wonky af but THE FEELS!? It hurt, it grabbed me in the lungs and heart. The translation is off but damn the emotions are conveyed perfectly.

And... hm.. i noticed that, how hopeful they are about dazaku relationship? Yeah, they are not good-ish, kinda, sorta abusive. But like, there's hope? You understand? By no means there are lot of writers that don't hesitate to dunk on dazai for what he did to akutagawa. But the things, there's still something.

Im thinking how to say this.

Akutagawa's hate.

Dazai's taunts.

Akutagawa's want for approval.

Dazai withholding that approval.

If dazai don't like akutagawa that much, shouldn't he just gave him that approval and be done with? I know he already acknowledge him way before. He even gush on him to odasaku. akutagawa would probably wont bother him again. But then he doubled down on him, Atsushi is better than you ;). Why taunt him with Atsushi? Atsushi is his coworker, not a student specificaly (something that a lot of writers emphasize, very neat).

Why dazai? do you need him to go crazy for you :D bahahaha loser. Is it because akutagawa the first thing you own that is actually yours? yours that you got to choose yourself? you freaking gave him a mating offer by killing his friends' murders. you idiot. you sad man. what a sad little man. do you want akutagawa to kill you someday so its still considerd suicide by your own hand/creation? you sad sad wet man? you really think that he'd hate you enought to kill you? really? you, the man who gave the akutagawa sibling a home and warm meal? really? hmm? hmm?

see, that's why... call it shallow, but i don't think akutagawa could ever really hate dazai? ish? kinda? the man did save him, even though then he got thrown to another kind of hell on earth. He gave him home, meal, and hope. The meaning of life. Hahahah indeed he's like a dog. that makes dazai that type of dog owners who made a shitty job at taking care of their puppies. the kind that was excited first and (sorta, kinda, idk) neglect/abuse them when they don't do their tricks properly.

i only know games bcs i watch rtgame's youtube, and when he played "Slay the Princess" and then proceed to search about them on tumblr, yeah. "The opposite of love is not hate, but indiference" and yeah, i believe that it also true to dazaku. because in a way, they are in this two person tango of chasing, taunting, i need you to be my eyes, you've become stronger, can you give me the meaning of life. Hate is really visible and the love is so between the lines. But they are not really indifferent to each other.

The love is there! the love is there. yeah, the love is there.

also.

i'm not sure how i came into this conclusion but, "akutagawa doesn't need dazai, but dazai need akutagwa" and yeah, maybe their bsd counterpart is reversed from their real life, but the essential part is still there? Thats my delusion is. I just wanna said that in the end.

if you manage to reach this part. Uh, thank you for reading. Sorry for the typo. I hope its understandable. suffer with meeeee!

#dazaku #bsd #bungo stray dogs #in case you want to block

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chipped-chimera · 19 days

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I am ... Idk man. I'm pissed. I'm sad. I'm angry. So the Green Neon Tetras I got absolutely came down with ich and there was so much fucking conflicting information out there ... well it delayed me treating it. Heck I was trying to just be sure I was seeing what I was seeing at first.

Anyway I've lost 3. I think it might be 4 this morning. By tomorrow I suspect it'll be two more. If any manage to scrape through it'll be down to 4. If I'm lucky.

Everyone else (Corycats, Starlight Bristlenose) are fine. Though the Corycats show some signs of being itchy, nothing's become visible and they were on the tank the day I started treatment. Yeah I know, quarantine tank yadda yadda. But considering a 100ml bottle of medication costs 40 bucks and I need to use it for 14 days minimum at 4.5 mL a day - no way was I doing two tanks. It's likely I'm going to run out soon and money is tight since this decided to happen right around me replacing my HDD.

I cried when the first one died. Now I just feel ... numb. My mood has been awful, which isn't looking great for my very expensive rTMS treatment - I'm literally at halfway today. I should have seen results. Instead I'm bouncing between hating myself and angry at everything else because information is so diluted and despite researching this tank for over three months straight, trying so goddamn hard not to fuck up - I fucked up. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but a part of me deep down does. Because maybe I was too stupid to realise on such tiny fish the situation was only going to get worse faster. Then I'm angry I feel stupid because the information isn't clear, or that I feel stupid for crying over a fish because that's what normal people think. I hate how everything is really affordable but then medicines are so prohibitive it'd be more cost effective to let them all fucking die. I hate how people regard fish as objects, decorations for their goddamn bathroom or some kind of 'investment' for rarer varieties, swimming in sterile tanks like their a goddamn floating gold bar - not a life. A living, breathing, thinking little life. That I let down. So yeah I'll fucking cry because no one else will.

This tank was supposed to be a source of relief while I went through this intense treatment but now it's just a trigger for me ruminating over and over. I worry with the tetra population so depleted it's going to cause them more stress making them more likely to die. I'm scared to do water changes, though I need to keep doing them.

I'm angry this parasite is so common it's considered to be encountered by anyone new to the hobby within 6 months, because it takes no prisoners - any kind of fish can get it. I'm angry research only revealed the possibility of a vaccine a few years ago, despite fish being the most owned pet globally. I'm angry the reputable, best aquarium shop in my entire city had tetra carrying this and there's jack shit I can do. I don't know whether to tell them or not even bother. Given the entire shop runs on what I suspect are the same sumps, it's likely everything has the risk.

Maybe I'm just stupid and this is all my fault.

I'll keep trying. I'll buy another 40 dollar bottle and treat them for the 14 days and aone more week just in case. I put too much work into this to give up.

#kerytalk #ventposting #pet death tw #pet death #only saving sliver of hope for me right now is im being cleared for anxiety treatment with rTMS #so they'll flip the coil to the other side of my brain and start working on disrupting the neurons where my likely overactive anxiety is #hopefully it does something because after this ... idk man. it feels like the end of the road.#either get brain surgery or accept I'll always feel awful #part of me feels it wont work anyway because its the world that makes me feel this way #I'm this way because of what they did to me #to get better ... i feel the world would have to change. but every day it just seems to get worse #depression #sorry i just ... had to yell somewhere. im sick of holding all this pain so quietly by myself #yes i am seeing a psychologist but im literally on last resort before brain surgery here

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hazelcephalopod · 1 year

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Some thoughts on Carnival Row (spoilers both seasons)-

- this show feels like a remake of a late 90’s to early aughts cartoon but with a gritty adult vibe. I say this with affection.

-I think if this was maybe a movie or maybe they had just gone a slightly different direction this would have really taken off. Even as is though it think it’s vastly underrated, like it has problems -oh boy does it-, but the steampunk-ish early 20th century vibe plus fantasy set in an entirely new world is cool. Just the vibes, they are great. (Ps it could actually be gaslight punk or something).

- I really hope the “New Dawn” revolutionary group from the Pact might be good guys? Like not perfect, but I’d like the communists to maybe make some lasting good change on the world? I’m probably putting my clown make up on with that a little. On the other hand I am deeply pessimistic they are going to also be the villains. I hope I’m wrong, I hope they are a nuanced faction which does offer support but maybe is doing some fucked up stuff too, which just pales in comparison to the rest of the world atm.

- I wish the Fae were more like, visibly on screen queer and poly instead of just minor lip service to back up the mostly obscure world building for that. The poly part I get is slightly more… a sign of some progress in that even talking about it as a good thing is a positive. But this could be more queer. (I got a whole thing about how it seems like Amazon especially doesn’t like mlm on screen but that does extend to queer people as a whole).

- there is a fuck ton of worldbuilding and I’m sad we won’t be able to see much more of it. I think it could be really neat.

Ok so, plot opinions time.

- I enjoy Imogen and Agreaus but they really are just in a different show, I’m hopeful their involvement with the New Dawn is going to lead to them being used to support the Row and the Fae in the Burgue. Tbf I’m not really annoyed by them just off doing whatever, I just think it’s kinda funny, but it is a show.

- plot point 2. Flying into the Burgue State dinner was… a choice. A very dangerous and likely deadly one. The core “show them what is happening to us and how we are suffering” is good but like… these people are just inches from, uhhh, mass murder -well, more of it? Dahlia deciding she *had* to be the one to go was odd to me, because it seemed like a death mission right? The power play of showing up to that dinner, when they aren’t even supposed to be able to leave the Row, well that’s a threat and like I said solutions in the Burgue are, um, very death oriented at the moment. Which, I thought maybe Dahlia might be smart enough to try a “how about you do that and I will coordinate from here (and hopefully you die because I hate you)” to Vin. But, nope she went herself with a handful of others most of whom died -though I think it wasn’t at the dinner, I need to rewatch. The woman with Bas Dubh (is that black death? It’s not translated for me, but it’s pretty much just Irish yea? I don’t recall the meaning of “bas” If any [edit yea it’s Black Death]) anyway she was shot. So. Idk if the garnering sympathy worked. Personally I think maybe a gathering of both common people and some of the politicians would have been most ideal. But I know the point was stopping Philo, bringing us too-

- Philo, really dude? You hid you half fae status your entire life -because the discrimination is so bad in the Burgue- and now it’s “oh now that I’ve revealed that, I can totally uh, convince all these violent bigots to listen to me -someone they no longer see as a person- that their leader is, illegitimate and murder-y?” What? Again, the solutions are very murder oriented and idk, doubt they will listen. Maybe I’m being the asshole pessimist here idk, but I just don’t think that’s how a systems like that works.

- counterpoint to the general murderous political environment in the Burgue. Primarily from seeing some of the Burgue owner class being like “this whole confining our workforce with a police state is really hurting our bottom line” was something. I hope, but doubt, it will be explored more. For instance, some of them should be plotting a coup. B/c when the government begins to threaten their bottom line many companies will decide “how get rid of this?” And choose “overthrow the whole government, consequences be damned”.

- I think it’s was a Pact (feudalist) dignitary or soldier who shot the woman with Bas Dubh, which could indicate that they are in fact the worse guys in that conflict and the New Dawn could be primarily helpful later on.

#carnival row

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aeipathcy · 5 months

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11. what’s something that you don’t get to express with your oc often? [ for reanne! ]

MEME┊accepting.

What’s something that you don’t get to express with your oc often?

OOC. tldr, ended up being an unorganized ramble that probably isn't very well organized or cohesive. I lost sight of some ideas as I was typing (big sad).

call out/acknowledge Reanne's bulimic eating habits if muses end up going out to eat somewhere

sibling dynamic conversations/conversations about siblings

idk how to express this but maybe someone noticing something behind the confidence she always has? I don't think muses really see her glaring issues despite how open she is with a lot of troubling things.

I believe I've mentioned this one in the past on random blog posts but I haven't gotten many opportunities for other muses to actually call out how abnormal Reanne's food-related (bulimic) tendencies are or even just acknowledge said abnormality (she still has them, and yes she is very stagnant with her therapy—honestly at this point I believe she stopped going since it wasn't helping, just haven't made it official until this post ig). Like, I can allude to them but they're never the focus of threads outside internal thoughts. I recall there was one muse I was able to kind of touch on that with but that mun decided to cut ties with me out of the blue. I was saddened by it since we had a good, but not so perfect/smooth dynamic building which is prime for exploring not so nice aspects of muses.

Lately, I haven't done anything related to it, but it is still a huge aspect of how Reanne copes with and processes her emotions (eating to chase away anxiety or sorrowful moods, depriving as form of punishment/dealing with guilt, purging out of guilt when she eats too much, freaking out when she weighs herself despite knowing she's supposed to weigh a little more to be healthy, constantly hating her body despite progress, etc.). Despite being better about anger, lashing out, and trauma dumping, Reanne cannot seem to cut the unhealthy eating patterns out of her life. She still carries trauma related to her body and appearance no matter how confident she acts—her outward confidence and almost ideal skinny body shape make it hard to actually see this, especially since Reanne would never step out of her house if she felt less than presentable. And considering she still obsesses over making sure her freckles are never visible, there's obviously still an issue that's unresolved there. I mean, Reanne is a walking contradiction that's hard to explain.

Even though Keith outwardly shows his issues more, Reanne is probably in a much deeper trench than he ever would be as the difference in their support systems is massive—she doesn't have anyone to help her through any of her impulsive binges or get through emotional spikes, and she is much more likely to relapse because of how quickly she turns to binge-purging as a coping mechanism. She cannot forgive her family for everything they've done to her, and she cannot confide in them, making it more than difficult to combat a habit that's been ingrained into her since well before her teenage years. Fashion industry, going out to eat, and clothes shopping are all very large potential triggers depending on her mood. Kinda forgot about this modern verse addition (alcohol cw, binge drinking cw, alcohol poisoning cw) but she also has an alcohol issue (underage drinking + binge drinker). Thankfully, she doesn't drink, and the most she does is threaten people with the cost of a hospital bill if they try to entice her that way.

This also brings me to a second point I don't get to explore. Sibling dynamics. I don't know what it is, but I want more of these conversations. Reanne's story is definitely triggering for people so I understand if others don't want to write anything that steps on the field of landmines that will come up, but this helps explore underlying drives behind how she acts (as all her responses and beliefs all lead back to her sister and upbringing). I've mentioned it before but Reanne does everything in her power to be someone different from her younger sister, Elanor. She is the older one, but at the same time, she feels completely inferior to Elanor. I have a number of posts talking about the contradiction surrounding this entire sibling relationship so I won't go into it here. Err, maybe I don't but I'm not making a new one or anything anytime soon.

Now that I think about it, nobody has seen behind her outward confidence and demeanor or thought to look beyond it (because of how straightforward she is) except for Keith (mainly because of the lore behind modern verse and he's technically known her for two lifetimes already). I find it funny how Keith is the person who tries to pass lies to hide problems and issues but everyone can see through him and acknowledges his issues, but Reanne is the person who openly shares almost everything so clearly yet nobody really bothers to acknowledge the issues and problems she's been blurting out to the world.

#disordered eating cw #purging cw #bulimia cw #bulimia nervosa cw #alcohol cw #* ✭ ❪❪ asks ❫.#unladielike #;; why did this turn into a long ramble about nothing important?#;; the more I use Keith & Reanne to compare situations the more I realize they really are just two polar ends of coping with similar issues #;; and even though they're friends at best they both go really astray if one of them dies #;; I mean their canon endings for main verse are SUPER DEPRESSING AND TRAGIC

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howtowearblackinthesummer · 7 months

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So today:

1. I had a breakthrough with an *interesting* Prek child

2. I got to watch monsters university as part of the curriculum (bcuz I make the fuckin curriculum and they are earning their Master’s in Markers)

3. I had a filling lunch

4. I could actually eat at lunch time

5. I got fucked (VERY WELL) right after lunch

6. I got 2 free tickets to an Orioles game and invited one of my best friends

7. The liquor store I went to was engraving bottles so ours said “Goddess Queen Princess Energy” 😂

8. We successfully smuggled in SO MUCH alcohol and snacks

9. The Orioles fuckin WON 🥳

10. There was a barcade on the way back to the car

11. It was also free book day at the Book Escape so we stopped for some free books and made out w some Gems

12. We got home safe

13. I properly prepared for work tomorrow w an energy drink and breakfast

14. I was taught about “We Didn’t Start The Fire”

15. I generally go into Thursday’s expecting the worst and today was pretty lucky tbh.

Im SÚPER grateful for my life and the abundance that comes with it. While I may get sad when I feel like I don’t have anyone to share these things with, I hope I’ll remember this post and that there are some people who care.

No im not talking about you weirdos lol but my loved ones KNOW that I love them unconditionally and without a single doubt. They know that I may be a lil late but i will ALWAYS be there for them. They know their happiness, successes and wins are celebrated alongside my own in my eyes. I love them and they love me; without hesitation or questions they know my heart and I know theirs. It’s the romantic partners I’m not too sure about lol but the real ones are actually tangible and I love that for me.

Today was great 💖 this is around the time I had an abortion so I get cyclically sad before I realize why fr. I’m just getting hip to that pattern in my life lol BUT this is definitely tipping those scales towards happiness and I love that for me 🥰

Any naysayers can go fuck themselves honestly lol this page is for my own records since SWBK is temporarily gone (bcuz if it’s banned I could just use the same domain…right?) idk about that but I’m just happy to not be using bum ass Twitter anymore I fuckin hated it I felt so visible and not seen and that’s a weird fuckin feeling lemme tell you

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eliastheflyest · 1 year

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Vent post. Kinda nasty too if you got a weak stomach. First real independent vacation and it wound up so foul

flew halfway across the country to meet my online bestie and our other friend & turns out other friend has the literal worst hygiene I have ever been adjacent to in my life. And we all got an airbnb together. I have wretched several times a day for the past several days. For various reasons. And I shall try to spare you some of the details. But idk I gotta let this out

He smells SO bad that he stinks up entire rooms and the smell does not go away when he leaves. He was gone for hours today and we opened windows and doors—in winter in the Midwest— sprayed air freshener (WHICH I HATE BUT ANYTHINF WE COULD DO WAS WOrth it fjsjdjdjfj) and it took hours to even become alright.

I’m embarrassed. For him and for me. I should’ve kicked him out. He lives here he could’ve just gone home. But I’m pathologically conflict-avoidant. It has always been an obstacle that drastically reduces my quality of life. I don’t want to make things awkward or hurt someone’s feelings—god it would’ve been easier if he wasn’t a nice person—so instead I choose to suffer for days on end and borderline ruin my vacation instead. I’m really trying not to be disappointed in myself, but... ugh. Learning experience? I wanna say that but what’s the point of the learning if I don’t utilize that to stop this type of thing from happening.

It’s understandable my reluctance though. It’s so bad with this person that I don’t know how to even address it. It triggers my anxiety so much it’s paralyzing. How on gaia’s green earth can an adult person capable of showering when they want SMELL THIS BAD? How are you pissing all over the floor so consistently? Why is your urine so sticky? How can a bathroom floor get this sticky so quickly? How do you not know you smell so fucking disgusting? Why did you put shitty TP in both bathroom garbages and not at LEAST cover it up a little bit so we don’t have to look at it??

Why did I not face the mild awkwardness of covering the couches in towels to stop the inevitable disgusting ass-stain on the couch that I may have to pay for in damages now that it surely happened?

All y’all Chicago motherfuckers were weird. I will not be back any time soon, and if so you will not be aware

-K: I knew you were abrasive and a self-proclaimed asshole but could you at least read the room? I just met you, why would you feel the need to say rude shit like joke about my “tired sad dead eyes” or that I’m “no offense, a little awkward?” Why would you need to say these things to a person you just met, completely unwarranted? The awkward comment at least had relevance to the conversation but why would you say mean things about someone’s appearance when you don’t know them and should really know by then that my sense of humor was not revolving around deprecation and negativity? You don’t know how shitty this is huh? Or do you just not care?

Please don’t offer to pay for pizza then ask everyone to chip in on the bill when I ordered literally nothing, you ordered a second round of drinks for two other people who did not ask for them. Please don’t overshare about your husbands libido as the first but if information we learn about him.

Please don’t literally buy second beers and literally push the beers on someone who A) said they didn’t want them and B) is so visibly hungover the first words out of your mouth were “are you okay?” Hair of the dog is not a valid experience for me. I don’t understand people who have essentially overdosed on alcohol remedying it by doing more. That’s kind of addict behavior, but I digress. It doesn’t work for me. I said I didn’t want it. Listen to people’s responsesz

Worst of all: you worked at a vet clinic (NOT practicing medicine I’m pretty sure) you are not qualified to administer drugs unprescribed to your kitten to save money and not go to the vet. Nor dress its wounds. You didn’t sterilize anything when their bandage came off you didn’t even wash your fucking hands first. Negligent. Dangerous. Really unfortunate, and not cool. And negligent.

God I hope that cat is okay. Also the cat isn’t stupid for slicing its foot on something, YOU were irresponsible for leaving something sharp out in such a manner? Stop endlessly insulting and shit talking your cat it may not understand your words but that negativity is translating.

-A: I know you have a crush on me and I understand you were prob nervous but when someone is out of town and ubered clear across your town to meet you at your bar you like, you should really try harder to talk to them. I’m too dense to realize why you’re avoiding me but why not at least engage with the other out of town friend? Weird, dude.

-B: you stink you stink you stink you fucking REEK you smell so fucking bad there is no excuse for this as you are physically capable of cleaning yourself!!!! You can’t just let water run over your body you need to scrub your fucking body!!! Why is that so hard? Please you are a fucking biohazard also you’re paying the damage fee on this couch if they can’t get the nasty ass stain out. You’ve gotta be aware of you have swamp ass at LEAST put a fucking blanket or towel down or ??? Anything?? Wipe your ass?? Wet wipes??? Something?? Diapers!? I dunno you’re a grown ass man WASH YOUR ASS MORE

Also why would it have been okay to bring someone over to our airbnb to sleep over? Without? Asking?? This person I don’t know?? When the place is rented in my name? Granted they ditched us at the bar (HMMM I WONDER WHY) but I was really gonna have to be that buzzkill guy like uhhh hi I don’t know you you can’t sleep here

I was mortified every time we got in an uber. My mom is in a care home wearing diapers and the home smells like piss—noticeable through my mask—and it still smells less bad. I haven’t been able to look him in the eyes for the past day. I know I should say something just out of concern for his wellbeing but it feels too intense. I find it very hard to believe he doesn’t know. Smelling kinda bad can go unnoticed but this is otherwordly.

ALSO READ THE ROOM STOP GRABBING MY FRIENDS UPPER THIGH? He tenses up when you hug him? Hint hint? Don’t put your head in his lap? DONT TRY TO OPEN HIS BEDROOM DOOR WITHOUR KNOCKING??? How are you so socially unaware dude we’re all not that close yet? Also staring is rude lol like sure flirt a bit and shoot your shot but if it’s not returned or reciprocated or encouraged or received obviously well then STOP HALT CEASE

TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF!! IF NOT FOR YOU THEN FOR OTHERS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#*labored breathing like I just finished a dragon ball z fight pushing myself to the limit*

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baekhvuns · 2 years

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My wifi was acting up so if you got the same message twice just ignore!

God poor Hwa it was the first thing I saw in the morning, I'm glad he knows it wasn't his fault, but he was still upset 😭 thankfully he wasn't hurt <3. Yesterday I was sad watching San struggle, then he talked on universe about feeling angry at himself.

I'm gonna give Hwa all the praise tomorrow, watch me. Come on Baek we need to do this. BUT AT LEAST THEY WON OMG DID YOU SEE MATZ, SEONGHWA'S FACE BBY :"( and Yunho and Yeo?! They were so shocked and cute awwwww

Absolutely 2021 and 2022 are for the hags, especially ggs stans 🥰 SNSD's 15th anniversary can you believe?! And Minho is an MC for their showcase AAAAAAA. The song is pretty GG, SM didn't do them too dirty, but they definitely have better songs, I'm just gonna be happy they're back, also WHERE ARE THE ALIENS?! Btw, I saw you were watching Big Mouth with Yoona, I like it! And so true Bilibili is a life saviour for dramas and anime as well, I've been using it for months 😌

Deja the panther pls suyshdjsuahhsus I would be honoured

I'm honestly so baffled by your Noddy gender discovery I'm seriously wheezing 😭😭😭 yeah fuck that little clown looking guy even more, before I felt bad for hating him, but #noddyisoverparty

It was Wonderland Hwa - the 1st pc 😳 I bought so many albums for myself and my friends in SK, not only I got Hwa, but also got into a fan sign not so long after seeing them at KCON and falling for Seonghwa, the universe knew what it was doing...

If you send me your address I'll come and fight you for your crimes (Khronos ending)

Please I was embarrassed for them especially Baek, Taemin and Kai I was like "I'm so sorry guys" but yeah they can make everything look cool, can't relate though

I always clown the glazed arms or abs (I can't with Fireworks San it's too funny), but the Hwarms are doing something for me, his melanin makes the oil even more visible and I'm spiraling 🥴🥴🥴🥴 everyone's down bad for Hwa this era as well. Mingi you're not normal my guy, you need to be stopped

The nose post, truly life changing omfg. Exactly LOOK AT ALL THESE SIDE PROFILES

Pls 1D wasn't even a band, leave them boys alone, but yeah they're like every indie UK group I was into back in the day

Well yeah I'm gonna gatekeep bodyguard I'm afraid, though I feel like I should guard Hwa instead 😭

I have no clue about Person of Interest, but I got Lionel Fusco???

Well fuck the government so true, but not when you're rich already, like be fucking serious... Yes there were a few scandals and Spain is extra with their punishments too, since I support one of the Spanish teams I always see a lot of tax talk 👀

Everything is coming out at once and their new show too?! I only managed to watch Showterview, cause I had to and honestly it was wholesome, they had great chemistry and everyone had fun. I also liked the questions, pretty spicy ahhahah

So much Seonghwa recently I need to look away for a moment and feel normal BUT HOW???!!! The whiplash is killing me, we're getting oiled up sexy demon and 5 minutes later a small baby running around or mommy Hwa helping everyone

Oh I knitted for my plushies and dolls when I was a kid sushhsydjnabsjhs maybe I'll go back to knitting soon since I'm ancient

I know red Woo when?! More hair colours in general when???

Idk that must be some other guy, perhaps a twin of my uber driver???

Baby baby

P.S. idk if we manage to talk before my fan call tomorrow, so wish me luck, cause my throat is fighting for its life </3333 - DV 💖

hi hello!!

My wifi was acting up so if you got the same message twice just ignore! God poor Hwa it was the first thing I saw in the morning, I'm glad he knows it wasn't his fault, but he was still upset 😭 thankfully he wasn't hurt <3. Yesterday I was sad watching San struggle, then he talked on universe about feeling angry at himself.

it’d working just fine!! ☺️ RIGHT 😭😭 i wish the electrical team checks the ear pieces every time bc wtf was that 😭🤚🏼 im glad he realized it as well!! aND THEY WON!!! DID U SEE FBWNDHWK WOOYOUNGS REACTION TO THE 12 DIGITAL POINTS FBDBDB AND THEN san too?? 😭😭🤚🏼 _SlQgfPkMA

they won the second baekhyun started tweeting and it was like my two worlds colliding 😭😭

YOU BETTER BESTIE GIVE HIM ALL OF IT GIVE HIM 2 EXTRA FROM A USERNAME CALLED BAEKHVUNS !!! DEJA WE ARE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW PLS SHOW HIM THAT TOO FBFBF 😭😭 PLS THE WAY HONGJOONG WENT TO HIM 😭🤚🏼🤚🏼 YEOSANG WAS SO BLOWN AWAY PLS

I SAW THE SHOWCASE AND IT WAS SO FUN FBFBF the song is pretty but i rly don’t like the pre chorus i thought after hearing it multiple times i might but it?? like the part right before the “i love” fbdnfb the album tho does sound better! YEAH WHERE ARE THEY WHERES THE KWANGYA 🤌🏼 OH MY GOD YES ARE U WATCHING IT TOO??? GONNA WATCH THE NEW EPS TN omg no fr bilibili is a true life saviour i just hope they don’t brung the ads there too 😭🤚🏼 and all of that for free in 1080p?? 😩😩😮‍💨

Deja the panther pls suyshdjsuahhsus I would be honoured

LMFAOOOO YOU GOT IT I WILL NAME IT THAT BDBD

I'm honestly so baffled by your Noddy gender discovery I'm seriously wheezing 😭😭😭 yeah fuck that little clown looking guy even more, before I felt bad for hating him, but #noddyisoverparty

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭 WHY HIS NAME NODDY THEN #bamboozeled 😭🔫🔫 NAH FR THAT KNOME LOOKING GUY CAN FUCK OFF #noddynevercomingback

????????????? U HIT THE BIGGEST JACKPOT ON THE FIRST TRY????? UR LUCK??? HELLO HELLO GIVE US A LITTLE BIT OF THE LUCK 😭😭😭🤚🏼 i have a luck in avoiding things fbfbfbfb BRO IT WAS FATE FROM SOME WATER HATING GOD 🤚🏼🤚🏼

If you send me your address I'll come and fight you for your crimes (Khronos ending)

LMFAOOOO THE WAY I SCREAMED AT THIS FHWNFHWJHFWKHDWK if u think khronus was a bad end, bestie what will that villain yn’s ending do to u?? 🥰

Please I was embarrassed for them especially Baek, Taemin and Kai I was like "I'm so sorry guys" but yeah they can make everything look cool, can't relate though

BRMWBDMWBDKW NO LITERALLY SAME BUT THEY MADE IT LOOK SO COOL tbh unpopular opinions, superm songs may sound chaotic but they do have good songs 😭😭 tho the seniors did carry,,, wish u were here is so good 😭🤚🏼

LMFAOOOO SANS GLAZED DONUT ABS WERE SO DBDBD 😭😭😭😭 they fr looked baked 😭😭 hwarms, hegs (legs), hwabs, hace (face), hwips <3 all of them be triggering me atp THIS ERA IS 2HO HWA AND MINGIS TBH 🤚🏼,,,, mingi is not normal and i won’t be either with his au in my drafts screaming at me dbdbd

The nose post, truly life changing omfg. Exactly LOOK AT ALL THESE SIDE PROFILES

Pls 1D wasn't even a band, leave them boys alone, but yeah they're like every indie UK group I was into back in the day

TRULY LIFE CHANGING I WILL BE LOOKING AT EVERYONES NOSES TO SEE WHO’S GOOD 😭😭🥰🥰<3 FBDNDB 1D WAS LIKE A 5 YEAR CONTRACT TO RULE THE WORLD AND THEN BOOM GONE,, he’s so stunning??? a very elegant guy, hand in marriage 🤲🏼

Well yeah I'm gonna gatekeep bodyguard I'm afraid, though I feel like I should guard Hwa instead 😭

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 I THINK WE SHOULD GUARD HIM TOO NOTHING BAD SHOULD HAPPEN TO THAT MAN 🔫

I have no clue about Person of Interest, but I got Lionel Fusco???

i have absolutely no idea too and so i got john reese <3

YEAAAHHHH FRRR !!!!! no bc if u rich, just pay the tax like bro u got the money?? 😭😭 oh??? u do??? which team 👀

showterview was so funny !!! it was fr like a sibling chemistry BFKWHDKWHDKW THE “SHUT UP” TO MINGI SCREAMED DBDB omg the questions about rivalry w different groups i was like “sunmi 👀 ayo 👀”

ITS ABSOLUTELY NOT POSSIBLE ANYMORE EVERYWHERE ITS HIM 😭😭😭 am i complaining tho? no ☺️ but my wips are dhdbdbdb OILED SEXY DEMON LMFAOO 😭😭😭😭😭 no ur so right that mommy hwa thing he did with jongho 🤚🏼

Oh I knitted for my plushies and dolls when I was a kid sushhsydjnabsjhs maybe I'll go back to knitting soon since I'm ancient

im. when are we starting this knitting club im on my way we should make seonghwa a shinestar scarf <3 BBWMFJEK “IM ANCIENT” I FELT THAT DBDB

I know red Woo when?! More hair colours in general when??? /// Idk that must be some other guy, perhaps a twin of my uber driver???

i swear to gOD if they dye it for the concerts im genuinely gonna be sobbing 😭🤚🏼 OH??? TWIN OF UR UBER?? SURE ARE ALIKE ARENT THEY?? have u ever confused them <3 ☺️ this your guy?? your ceo?? omg here is a ceo taehyung series which i die for fbfbfbf ceo seonghwa’s arrange marriage is like that in the aspects of richness

Baby baby /// P.S. idk if we manage to talk before my fan call tomorrow, so wish me luck, cause my throat is fighting for its life </3333 - DV 💖

BESTIEEEEEEEEE OH MY GOD ITS TMR???? PROBABLY ALREADY FOR U RN OH MY GOD FBFBFB PLS GIVE HIM ALL THE PRAISES AND SHOW UR CATS 😭😭😭🤚🏼 PLS <3 pls ask them to do a stop in cn not toronto one day <3

quiz !!

???? dilf.

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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