#tumblr has been a bitch today when it comes to posting for some reason

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

On the topic of people I haven't written about. I have...many feelings when it comes to Mingyu. Homeboy was my first bias in Seventeen lol. This was heavily inspired by his Nephew TV episodes with Jeonghan. I thought about writing something involving Jeonghan but, I realised I haven't written anything for Mingyu yet so, voila. I also like how everyone just agrees that Mingyu would be great dad lol.

Heads up: Kim Mingyu x Fem! Reader, unprotected piv sex, Big dick! Mingyu, breeding kink, Mingyu is a caring sweetie, reader thinks Mingyu being a good dad is hot pretty much lol, this ended up being softer than I anticipated, established relationship (they're married with two children). I wasn't kidding when I said Kim Mingyu makes me feel some type of way.

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Watching your husband with your daughters always made a deep warmth settle into the very fibre of your being. Seeing your three favourite people together was a sight you've come to cherish deeply, if the hundreds of photos of them on your phone were anything to go by. There was something also so incredibly attractive about just watching him be a dad. Getting them dressed for the day, making adorable lunchboxes for them, putting them to sleep are just a few examples of the things he did, and took pride in doing, for your girls. The butterflies were especially bad when he'd hold them, carry them and play with them. You suspect your husband knows how this effects you because sometimes he'll send you a knowing smirk when you're staring at him a little too long. It was one of those knowing smirks that got you in your current predicament.

Even with three orgasms and making sure he stretched you out on his thick fingers, Mingyu makes sure to be careful when he aligns his cock with you and slowly sinks in. It's no secret that he's a huge man, in every sense of the word, so he tries to be careful when he first enters you. You think it's sweet most of the time, him still being concerned after being intimate for years but, right now you're more frustrated than anything else. "Mingyu, babe, I'm okay. You don't have to be so careful," you pant out, fingernails dragging into his back as he splits you open inch by agonising inch. He stills for a moment, hesitance clear in his eyes, his cheeks a slight red and his inky hair sticky to his sweaty forehead. If your legs weren't partially jello from all the orgasms he made you take earlier, you'd push him down and ride him until both of you couldn't move. He just looked so cute and his concern did warm you. It's been awhile since you two have had the time and energy for sex, between work, the girls and taking care of the house. You know he gets a little extra cautious when it's been awhile. "Are you sure?" He asks just to be certain, gently stroking your hair. You don't know why but, the gesture chokes you up for a moment. You just love him so much. "Yes, I'm sure. I'll tell you if gets too much, okay?" You reassure him, rubbing his back and trying to hold as still as you realistically can half stuffed with his cock. He still looks unsure but, he knows you'd tell him in a heartbeat if he was doing anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. With that, he pushed the rest of the way into you until he eventually bottomed out. It's hard to tell who moans louder at that moment. His hands shifting to grip your thighs firmly and, yours digging into his back so hard you're fleetingly worried that you may draw blood. "Always so tight for me. So good," he groans low into your ear, slowly stroking into you. You keen at the praise, holding him as close as possible before meeting him in a messy kiss. It's all tongue and teeth and spit, moaning into each other as he picks up the pace. "You're so deep," you moan out, tears springing to your eyes when he angles his hips just right while fucking into you. "Yeah? You love taking this big cock, don't you, baby? Love when I fuck y-you stupid," he groans out, his own eyes rolling into the back of his head with how you try and milk him for his cum. "Maybe I should fuck another baby into," he says, sounding almost delirious on desire. You clench around him hard at that, barely able to form a coherent thought, let alone utter an actual word in response to your husband. You love when he gets like this. All arrogant and lost in pleasure with you. Chasing nothing but your respective releases. "M-Mingyu p-please," you beg, you're not sure for what but, his answering smirk makes it seem as though he's well-aware of what you want. Moving down to take one of your sensitive nipples in his mouth, his other hand moves from where it has imprinted itself on your thigh and, begins to draw quick circles on your swollen clit. The reaction is instantaneous. Your orgasm rips from you before you even realise what's happening. Mingyu has to move quickly from happily sucking and nipping at your nipple to kissing you so, you don't wake the girls. Swallowing your hoarse cries and tasting salt on your respective lips from the tears that falls from your eyes. "F-fuck, cumming," is all the warning you get before you feel him pulse violently inside of you and fill you with his cum. If you hadn't already cum so hard you almost blacked out, hearing, feeling and seeing Mingyu fall apart would have easily sent you over the edge. Your quiet panting fills the air. The scent of sex and sweat permeating your bedroom but, you're both too spent and pleasantly wrung out to start cleaning up just yet. Content to cuddle for atleast a few moments before the discomfort settles in.

#kim mingyu smut #kim mingyu #mingyu smut #seventeen smut #seventeen #minyu smut drabble #mingyu smut fuc #seventeen smut drabble #seventeen smut fic #mingyu #this was a pain to post #tumblr has been a bitch today when it comes to posting for some reason #either way enjoy my lusting after kim mingyu #I'd like to think there's a reason he was the first bias lol

[phoenixyfriend]

A lot has been happening today that rep calls could affect. UN vetoes, KOSA, Julian Assange, UNRWA's funding crisis and Israel's demands that it be completely dismantled, the large number of bills we just learned are on the docket for the coming week, and even the good news that is recent successes by the BDS movement.

And like... I care about this stuff. I want to talk about it. But it takes an emotional and mental toll to do it, and it takes time, and... there are two reasons to write up reference, update, information posts:

Compensation. I'm not a journalist, but if I were, I would in theory be getting paid for the information I collect and share to my audience. However, I am not, and am doing this for free. I have gotten maybe $5 in donations since I started this project, and while I recognize that this is probably because people are (quite rightly) donating instead to Palestinian charities or local campaigns or something, it's a basic fact that I am not actually being compensated for this work.

Promoting change and activism. This is in fact my main goal: to have a positive impact on current events by giving people a guide on the news and politics because there's so much happening that's hard to keep track of, and if I'm already doom-listening to half a dozen political podcasts, I might as well save other people the trouble, right?

The thing is, like... most of the reblogs on my guidelines and helpful posts are from me, to me. I am the one reblogging. I am desperately trying to get these things to circulate so I can make a difference, but... no dice. Some of the posts are admittedly pretty long (my 'how to call your reps, here's some verbiage' post is 3.4k words), and I can imagine some people are saving it for later, and then maybe forget, or they don't want to share something controversial, and like... I do get that. I do.

But it does mean the posts aren't circulating, and thus they're having less of an impact, and I can't help but feel like there are other things I could be doing to help that would be more effective. More bang for my buck, except it's my time and effort instead of my money. Like, maybe it would have more an effect if I hunted down a wider variety of elected officials I could bother instead of instructing other people on how to bother theirs? Maybe going to protests (which would be a huge commitment due to distance) would be more effective than trying to help ensure that the effectiveness of "I actually have a vote and you are losing it" of calls has the weight of numbers behind it.

Especially since I did try to blaze it, and tumblr mods rejected the post. I don't know why. It's not against ToS, since none of it was disinformation or election interference, which is the only reason given on the FAQ for why things might not be approved for blazing, but who knows.

Maybe tumblr just decided the possible blowback on them for blazing a pro-ceasefire post would be too much.

I don't know. I just... it's just really disheartening to try to help and it gets stymied because, as much effort as it might be, it doesn't reach more than a (comparatively) tiny audience, especially when my relatively low-effort polls and shitposts get easily ten times as many notes with way less energy put in.

EDIT: This is not a post that I need to have reblogged. this is just me bitching. This a vent post. What I am asking people to reblog is my activism posts that I spend hours on to try and help nudge things in a better direction. Please reblog THOSE. This one doesn't need reblogging unless you have an actual comment. Reblogging this post just to reblog, with neither useful comment nor encouragement, is not helping me with my issue of 'not paid, not making an impact' or helping with any important causes.

#personal #vent post #phoenix politics

[cerridwen007]

Put him in his Place.

        

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word count: 3k (18+)

Summary: Javier comes home from a particularly hard day at work and instead of being able to help him relax and take his mind off work like you usually can, he snaps at you causing you to put him in his place.

Notes/warnings: SMUT,established relationship,oral (female and male receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, slapping, rough sex, switch reader, switch Javier, powerplay, dirty talk, Javi being a cocky little brat.

A/N: This is the very first smut I've finished and am posting to Tumblr, so please let me know what you think/ what I can improve on. I'm pretty shit at editing but I looked over it a few times so hopefully it's okay/easy to read. Also when I was writing the start I kept thinking the song Sunny by Bobby Hebb would work really well with it for some reason. Like I was picturing it like a scene in a movie,(spoiler) Javi and reader just aggressively making out to that happy song haha, which I honestly don’t know if it's been done before. So if you wanted to maybe play that song just as you are about to start reading and see if it fits. Sorry for the long author's notes. Hope you enjoy it!

Javier and you have been rocky ever since Pablo Escobar got put in prison, a jail of his own design that was basically the opposite of a jail. Yes, Javier has been stressed since you met about work but now more than ever his stress has been through the roof.

Usually you were able to calm him down with a drink and some "relief" and he would be fairly relaxed till something else at work came up. You understood it was a stressful job and a stressful case. You just hoped it would be over soon because seeing Javier stressed all the time killed you a little inside. Although you didn't mind one bit helping him relax in more ways than one. Tonight was a bit different though.

Javier opened the door hard, making a loud bang, he slammed his fist against the door shutting it. "Fucken hell!" You cringed a little at the loud noises before walking over to greet him in the most soothing voice you could. "Hi Javi, baby, how was your day?" It didn't work. Instead of responding "not the best but atleast I'm here with you now" like he usually did before giving you a big long kiss, he angrily walks past you.

"I need a drink"

Before you can go to pour him one he grabs himself a full glass of whiskey and knocks it back in one go. He then starts pouring himself a second glass. You chime in trying to calm the lion. "Honey I made your favourite tonight! And after dinner maybe I could run you a nice hot bath, and then maybe I'll let you have a little show of my new lingerie set!"

Instead of scooping you up and taking you to the bedroom with a sly smirk on his face like you expected him to do he scoffs and shoots down his second drink of the night. He gets up and walks over to the door not even making eye contact with you.

"I'm going out, don't wait up."

You grab his wrist gently, "Hey I don't know what happened at work today, we can talk about it if you want but we don't have to but I don't think it's a good idea to drink your troubles away.

"God, nothing happened at work okay, stop mothering me and leave me like the rest do okay!"

His words hurt a little and they hurt hearing knowing he is hurting and that for some reason he doesn't want to confide in you about it or let you help him. But still you brushed them aside knowing that Javier struggled to open up sometimes.

"Okay I understand your upset Javi but please don't take this out on me okay I'm just trying to help you cause I care about you."

He pulls his wrist away from you  and looks into your eyes with an anger you haven't ever seen in your shared home, a look that is only used when dealing with the most terrible criminals in Bogota.

"I’m not fucken taking anything out on you okay bitch, you're just being a clingy whiny child that won't leave me alone, for God's sake I need my space."

Something overcomes you, you are not ever an aggressive person even in the bedroom, and you knew that it was not the normal Javier speaking, no disrespecting, you like that and that he must have had a hell of shitstorm day at work but still, you needed to put him in his place.

You raise your hand and slap him fairly hard across his cheek. You immediately feel bad and go to apologise. " i...i...sorry I didn-"

"Do it again"

"What?"

"Slap me again, harder this time"

" if this is trap I don't want-"

"It's nothing like that, don't get me wrong I love how much you care despite what I said but this what I saw in your eyes as you slapped me, that passion, made me wanna ravage you all night."

Each word he speaks you see the desire grow in his eyes and the wetter you get.

"Stop talking."

You slap a little lower and harder on his jawline leaving a red mark that stings his smirking face. You both lunge at each other holding each other's face in your hands, lips pressed firmly against one another's, tongues slip in and out of eachothers mouth dancing around, encased in wetness.

Javier pushes you against the wall hard, smashing the glass of the picture frame behind you. You moan out in pain and pleasure. You push off the wall walking Javier backwards and your hands start roaming to each other's bodies each trying to get each other's clothes off as fast as possible. Your lips only break to catch your breaths and to get a better look at the buttons.

You push him up against the wall this time keeping you body close to his. He groans a little in pleasure as you do. He pushes off the wall and the shirts come off. In one quick movement he undoes your bra and hoists you up so your legs wrap around his hips. Throwing you against the wall harder times you both moan, you can feel his hard cock pushing against your waist.

He kisses down your jawline, down your neck to your breasts where he fondles them in his hands and sucks on the left nipple, the stimulation of one of your most sensitive areas causes you to moan loudly. You brace yourself with one hand on the wall palm flat. The other hand on the nape of Javi's neck moving up to his soft dark short hair.

He switches nipples, you grind against his cock hinting you want more as the desire builds up in you more and more. He takes the hint and pulls you off the wall putting his lips back against yours, hot and wet. His hands go down you back to your ass where they hold on for dear life. He backs into the bedroom. Your hand that was on the wall now holds his jaw. He turns around and throws you both down on the bed, him on top of you.

He strips your pants off you quickly before doing the same to himself. The heat between your legs rises seeing his toned tan arms flex as they literally rip your panties off you, pulling the shreds down your legs out of the way. He looks like a wild animal about to sink its teeth into prey, eyes alive with anger, hunger and lust. But you're not backing off in fear.

You pull him close to your body and roll so you're on top of him, and grab his member in his boxers firmly, he raises his hips and head up, his brows crease together overcome with pleasure with a tinge of pain. You grab the top of his head, his soft warm brown hair gripped between your white knuckles. Pulling a little you put him in his place.

"You won't do any of that till I tell you to.” you harshly whisper into his face, releasing his cock from your firm grip.

He stares in your eyes not breaking contact, his lips slightly turning into a smirk while his eyes are still very much alive with passion and hate.

"Oh yeah?" He growls

He flips you over so he is on top now. He grabs your wrists with one of his hands and raises it above your head. This is a play for power now. Javier liked your fire and control just as much as he likes having his own. So he wants to test to see how far you will go before you give into him.

"You're going to regret that" you say with a firm tone.

"Make me" he smirks

You lift your head to kiss him. He goes in for the kiss. You swerve and sink your teeth semi lightly into the crevice between his neck and shoulder, leaving a mark that will last a while. Javi pulls away and groans in pain, but is turned on more than ever. While he's distracted you pull your wrists apart from his hold and flip so you're on top again, straddling him.

"You're being a very bad boy," you hiss.

"Can't help it" he smiles, grinning.

You push firmly down on his chest and go to kiss the mark you gave him seconds before. You leave a trail of kisses and bites into his skins down his chest and stomach. He groans with every contact, each making his cock pulse in need of release. You make it to his boxes and pull them down slowly. You lick your lips and purse them around the tip of his dick. He whimpers quietly.

"I haven't even started yet baby and you're already whimpering, can't wait for you to start screaming my name."

You say smirking before putting your lips back on his throbbing dick, pushing the tip past your lips and adding a hand to his thick cock.

You start slow but quickly build momentum and his dick becomes slick with your spit and his precum. He fights the urge to buck his hips up and instead grips the sheets with one of his veiny hands and pushes some of your hair behind your ear with the other.

"F...fuck sweetheart.... you're too good at that!"

You smirk around his cock, your teeth lightly graze him for a second causing him to groan loudly. You fasten your strokes as he moans in total pleasure. You smirk to yourself knowing you almost got it out of him. 

Moaning your name turns into incomprehensible whimpers as you bring him to his high, but you're not finished till you milk out every last drop with your hands firm around him, licking everything he has to offer.

Both of you breathless, you go up to his face and passionately kiss, exchanging the taste of him and his pleasure to his own tongue. He goes to sit you up and switch positions before kneeling in front of you so he can offer you some release now.

"Oh... no baby you don't have to do that... tonight's all about making you feel goo-"

"Please... let me... please let me make you feel as good as you just made me feel... let me taste your sweetness."

He was begging you to let him stuff his face between your thighs. God it made you feel powerful, to have a man like Javier on knees before you, you couldn't say no to that. Not to mention that everytime he ate you out, (which with Javier was often because he couldn't get enough of you) he left your legs trembling for the rest of the night from his fucken godly tongue.

"Okay baby, you've begged enough." You tease.

Before you can say another word his face dives between your warmth, head first into your wet folds. He licks a tender strip up your pussy before teasing your pulsating clit with the tip of his tongue. You throw your head back and uncontrollably moan out.

“Fuck!”

He wraps his hands around your thighs and pulls your centre closer to him. He slips a thick finger into you slowly causing you to arch your back into his touch.

"Javi" you breathily moan, totally succumbing to the divine pleasure that this man was devoted to giving you just with his mouth and hands. The pathetic whines you make as he slips a second finger into your hole, pumping them in and out of your pussy make his cock twitch. But he pushes down the need to be buried deep inside you till he fully repays the pleasure you gave him.

Knowing how close you are by the more strangled and loud moans coming from your pretty little mouth, he fucks you harder and deeper with his fingers and further stimulates your throbbing clit with his tongue, very gently biting down occasionally, blending the lines of pain and pleasure.

"Cum for me cariño, give me all your sweet essence to drink.  He breathes against your wet centre.

Those words push you over the edge. A series of loud breathy moans escape your mouth, your legs trembling, threatening to crush Javi's head, but he doesn't care or notice. He is too busy working you through your high, licking up every sweet drop of your liquid pleasure he can get from you.

He eventually comes up and crawls up to you cradle your reddened face between his hands, passionately kissing your plump lips.The taste of both of your pleasures are exchanged, dancing around each other tongues. You break away, both of you still out of breath from the previous activities. He lies down on his back next to you.

Your mind flashes back to the start of the night, the events that ultimately led you here. You feel the heat rise in your cheeks once again as the anger you felt overcomes you once again. You think Javi still needs to be taught a lesson, and just thinking about putting him in his place makes your pussy ache in need for his cock to fill the emptiness his fingers left moments ago filled.

Noticing a shift in the air, Javi asks you what you're thinking about.

"Oh just how I still think you need to be put in your place Peña." You growl.

He smirks, loving every second of this new power dynamic he gets. "Oh you gonna teach me a lesson baby" he teases waiting for a reaction out of you.

"Oh you fucken bet, smartass" you snap back. Quickly you move on top of him again and slap his face. 

“Your a very lucky man Javi, to be blessed with such a patient partner who is used to dealing your shitty attitude, offering every ounce of love and care she has to you every time you have a bad day at work, sucking your dick so hard you forget all you problems for the night.”

“Oh yeah I sure am lucky-”

You push your thumb to his lips while holding his chin in the rest of your fingers, shushing him. 

“I wasn't finished talking!” you snap.

“Someone better teach you a lesson about manners before someone permanently shuts that dirty little mouth of yours.”

Javi gulps, his cock straining against your warm weight above needing more and more to release his show of affection in your tight wet cunt.

You tip his chin up, pulling your thumb down his lips slowly. You push your face close to his, mouths almost touching. 

“What, cat got your tongue?” you whisper seductively in his mouth, licking your lips. Your hot breath causes his cock to pulsate even more and goosebumps to emerge over his neck. He swallows hard, a quiet moan escaping his throat.

“Good boy, you finally learnt that it's best to shut up then let your sly tongue ruin the fun for you.” you joke.

You once again firmly grab his throbbing boner and stroke it a few times before guiding it to your entrance, you slowly sit down on it, letting your cunt adjust to his wide length. Breathy moans fall out of both of your mouths. Once you reach the base, you let half of his cock fall out before taking it all again. You fasten your pace, arching your back as the angle his cock hits every time causes your breath to hitch in your throat, making strangled moans. 

He becomes a whimpering mess below you, both from the pleasure you were bestowing upon him and because of his overwhelming need to turn you over and fuck the shit out of you himself, fueled by the need to appease and pleasure the one good thing in his life.

“Please let me fuck you baby make you feel way better than you can make yourself feel bouncing on my dick.”

You stare at him, at first annoyed but then smile knowing that nobody can make you feel as good as he can, even yourself. You felt you had teased him enough tonight not letting him take full control like he usually did. You smirk nodding and give a playful slap on his chest.

“Okay but you better fuck the shit out me pretty boy, make my cunt ache for days after this.”

“Oh mi amor, you won’t be able to even walk for days after this.” he said with a smirk twisting into a devilish smile.

He swiftly sits up to embrace you tightly, his pace quickly surpassing that off your own. The new angle hitting you somehow even deeper than before, causing your eyes to roll back into your head. You now are the one who whimpers pathetically, love-drunk on every mind numbing thrust Javi provides you. Chills run throughout your body as Javi brings you closer and closer to your orgasm. In between his deep grunts and breathes he whispers dirty, dirty words into your ear. 

“Yeah that’s right… nobody can make you feel as good..as…I can cariño.”

“I love your tight little cunt….and those little desperate sounds you make… when I fuck the shit out it.”

“God you look so fucken pretty…. when you're about cum on my cock… wanna stay like this… with you forever.”

The both of you are so close, to help you finish he squeezes to tighter, closer to him, kneading one of your breasts with one hand and circling you clit with the other, using his hands as the anchors to enter your pussy as hard and fast as he can. Your hand reaches up to behind his head as you both simultaneously reach your high.

“Ahhhh…. fuck…. Javi…. you feel so good!”

You turn your head and look at him, he leans forward and kisses your forehead, panting hard as he rides out his high. He carefully slips out his softening dick out of your aching, sensitive pussy. You both fall into the bed holding each close as you catch your breaths yet again. 

“Fuck I think i’m going to need you come home from work angry more often.” you laugh out of breath.

He laughs against the back of your neck. “Yeah also feel free to slap me whenever you want cause fuck… that was hot.”

You both laugh, nodding. This night turned out better than expected, and you wish to be nowhere else except here entwined closely with the love of your life, hot,sticky and tired after you extraneous activities, slowly drifting to sleep with nothing but the sounds of busy Bogotá and Javi’s deep breaths caressing your neck.

#javier pena narcos #javier pena #javier pena smut #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #smut #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x reader

[laurfilijames]

All week I told myself that on Sunday, I was going to write all day.

I opened my laptop up for the first time in two weeks. I haven't written a word since I finished editing Expensive and tried for over an hour to work on my series Like My Dreams.

I thought about it all week and have been so eager to continue it, only the words won't come.

I know it's not for lack of passion or wanting to; I think about this story (and all the other ones) constantly.

I've been trying to deny some feelings for a while, or chalk it up to getting too much in my own head, but today it's come down heavier than ever and what is ultimately responsible for blocking my creativity and turning my love for my stories from thoughts into actual sentences.

I'm lonely.

I've never felt so alone.

The Charlie fandom seems to be relatively non existent, or just extremely quiet.

I have no space. No where I fit in.

I'm on the outskirts, trying to find a spot, constantly seeing if there is a way I can have a place for my ideas, stories, and even friendship, and have it hold some value to the others I'm around.

The more I post on here, the less I feel seen.

Engagement on this platform has reduced drastically across the board, and it's effecting so many artists.

It's not about numbers. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking "your last fic has over 100 notes". Yeah. It does. Almost all of those notes are likes, and more than half the reblogs are my own.

What I'm seeking is engagement. Conversation. A likeness and kinship started by a common interest that blooms into simple conversations and thoughts shared.

Comparison is a bitch. I see so many people living the Tumblr life I wish to have. Asks, comments, reblogs of teasers and moodboards for upcoming fics screaming of excitement and praise and how eager they are to read it. People dropping everything they're doing to read the latest chapter of their friend's new fic.

I realize the many reasons why I'm in a different position than they are, but lately it's been screaming at me louder than ever that I'm lacking something meaningful or whatever I'm doing on here isn't enough.

I've tried creating a buzz around my stories. I am aware that most of the time I write for unpopular characters with a smaller fan base, so I set the bar lower but am still left feeling inadequate even when I write for the popular ones. Whenever I've shared snippets of WIPs in hopes to gain some excitement from my readers, it falls short. Usually it'll inspire me to keep going, to write better than ever and make this next fic The Best One that makes me so happy and excited to get out. (For Charlie, I'll say, and write something I'm so unbelievably proud of) and then sometimes it makes me wonder if I should bother continuing at all.

I know I am not owed anything by anyone and no one is obligated to read or comment or anything of the sort, and I am beyond grateful for the comments and support I do receive, and the friendships I've made, old and new.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting at here, I just needed to write it down and "talk" it out.

I've been battling the decision to continue writing but not share it. I don't want that to happen, because as much as I write these stories for myself, a lot of the fun of it comes from being able to share it with all of you.

Nothing dramatic is happening. I'm not leaving, and I will be writing again because I'm not at all done with what I have to say about these characters, I just felt this needed to be said and already feel a little lighter by sharing it.

Write your stories, comment on your favourite fics, scream with your mutuals about a photo or gif that inspired something in you, tell your writer friends and writers you've never spoken to but love their stories just how much you do... I promise it makes more of an impact than you know. 💗

#personal

[ashsostrange]

hey y'all so i wasn't initially planning on talking about what rashad posted earlier today bc it's literally all bullshit, but i might as well! i’m not actually tripping over anything that’s going on. if anything, i’ve been laughing my ass off all day at this foolishness.

this is gna be long as hell, so don't even grab popcorn, i suggest a five course meal.

for some background, rashad became mutuals w this girl. right off bat, he’s making hella race jokes ab this girl being white. i b doing the same, but with my FRIENDS. people i am CLOSE WITH. and i don’t over do it because that’s lame and annoying. anyway, she eventually stated that she was uncomfortable and rashad blamed his behavior on the fact that he was on pain meds. she eventually blocked him and told one of her mutuals, and to rashad, that’s her “spreading rumors” about him. he did the most on his page and in ppls inboxes crying and complaining, saying he was gna eat glass and shit.

so now let’s look at his fuckass post:

number one, how can a rumor be started about you if nobody.. knows you? like, you are not a celebrity. nobody talks about you. and nobody was talking about you “being on drugs” other than the girl you made uncomfortable and her two mutuals. i know you send yourself anons too. you make it seems like anyone actually cares about your “hot takes” for some strange reason. don’t even try to deny it, bc there’s no way you’re getting more anon msgs than my friends with larger platforms than yours.

you’re also messier than a mf, sending your own mutuals anon msgs. me and lia know you were the one sending her anon msgs bc she blocked you, and you know it too! talking ab how her username is “corny” then reblogging the posts of her clocking your ass??? acting like it wasn’t YOU.

you tried to turn two writers who were already arguing against each other even more. we sat there and defended your ass even though you were the anon the entireeee time. you made a post saying “war has begun” to try and get us to attack bree’s friend. your weird ass stayed in that girl’s inbox after i told you to block her instead of doing the most. you’re lame and you’re bored.

it doesn't matter if you tagged her or not, you still said it. sliding into sb's inbox and telling 'em you're going to eat glass bc you made someone else uncomfortable is ABSURD. it doesn't matter if it isn't my drama, if i see bs ima say something, and there isn't a thing in the world you can do about it. your "rants" are a form of guilt tripping/manipulation. you're trying to victimize yourself and make us feel bad for you. well, we do not! i checked you once on discord. you said thank you. you said you were going to make an apology, but in that same “apology”, tried to justify your actions. i clocked that and unmutualed you. you then went to lia talking ab some "tell ash i said thanks for checking me" nd now you switched up. your thanks was revoked. all of a sudden, you're the victim again. all of a sudden, i’m ableist?? okayyyy niggaaaaaa 👎 boooo

you say you're "blocking me for your safety" when i wasn't even planning on talking ab your lame ass again. i won't baby you about your behavior because you're not a goddamn baby! and yes, you CANNOT be the victim every time. you bitch and whine on your page when you get into it with somebody, and unless we're defending you, you don't want us getting involved! it doesn't work like that. nobody else was calling you out, so me n my girls did.

idk why my name stays steady coming out of your mouth. my "daily activities" that i "broadcast" are what i ate for lunch/dinner and complaining about school. you run your mouth about all sorts of mess. you put every aspect of your life on your blog. we are not the same, so don't even try to make it seem that way. the people on my blog that i don't talk to outside of tumblr don't know everything about me. you cry in people's inboxes unwarranted and say explicit shit with tw's in your TAGS. i'll say what we're all thinking, NOBODY IS TRYNA SEE ALL THAT!!! coming from someone who struggles with mental health, venting on tumblr will not do anything for you. these people are not licensed professionals. invest in a diary, don't you have a boyfriend to vent to?

you are quite literally the only one looking for drama. we never defended that girl bc we don't know her.. we know you though. and you were venting about catty, but i never said ALWAYS, so don't lie in my face like i'm stupid bc i'm not. ion know what you thought you were doing with the last part, but god bless.

i am a good person my nigga, i don't need confirmation! i know who i am. if you're debating suicide because you're confused about something, you just need to get off the mf internet bro. it’s never that serious. you're not gna sit here and tell me you were debating suicide bc me n my girls put you in your place. you made your own mental worse by refusing to take accountability.

he also made an edit saying he has nowhere else to go… if you have nowhere else to go, then i'd be happy to buy you a damn journal so you can write in there and leave the rest of us the hell alone. and there isn't shit to be sorry about bc you're not putting jack shit on me, all of it is on you. you wna be everything but wrong. 🚶‍♀️should’ve just kept it cute and kept it quiet.

allat being said, good riddance, r*shad. leave me and everybody else alone! and if you fw him, then there’s the door 👉🚪 good riddance to you too.

#ash spills 🌺 #rashadisoverparty #LMFAOOO #you were dealt w #don't try it again lil nigga

[elizmanderson]

"a kiss to anger a third party," perhaps from this post? elizmanderson. tumblr. com /711617943947067392

okay so fun fact, I am actually an idiot who read right over “another kissing prompt” on the post this kissing prompt came from and rb it just intending to like save the list of different kisses for later

but then I was too embarrassed to admit that in response to this ask WITHOUT writing something so long story short instead of researching lighthouses today like I was supposed to, I wrote a 1,700-word short story about fake girlfriends who kiss in the hallway outside grandma’s sewing room to piss off some shitty relatives

so. yeah. uh. enjoy I guess.

A KISS TO ANGER A THIRD PARTY STORY THAT I DIDN’T MEAN TO WRITE BUT HERE WE ARE

Fake dating has been going shockingly well, considering you’re terrible at real dating and also at lying, and somehow faking dating is both. Then again, family get-togethers are always awkward as fuck. Your cousin and his wife always share a chilly silence; your uncle has a casually off-color comment for every occasion; your mother judges everyone like doing so is an Olympic sport; and your grandparents desperately try and fail to keep the peace. So no one notices that you and Maeve stand across the room from each other instead of holding hands and melting into each other’s bodies the way two lovey-dovey newlydatings should allegedly do.

Rather, if anyone notices, they figure it’s normal. That’s how relationships are in your family, grandparents aside, and everyone has long since written them off as sweet old weirdos. The only reason you don’t think the lingering gazes you share with Maeve are more action than your relatives have ever had is the existence of multiple generations of biological children.

You share a gaze now. Not because you’re actually into Maeve, although you’re not not into Maeve; you picked an attractive fake girlfriend. Tall, with an undercut and dark eyes and a crooked nose and muscley arms that sometimes you think would be really great for picking you up and throwing you onto a bed, before you remember this is fake and please brain do not.

The corner of Maeve’s mouth turns up. You look away, biting back a smile.

You would like to stand here not-smiling at Maeve all night—or at least until the end of the torturous family cookout, which hasn’t even technically started yet because your uncle decided to “help” Grandpa with the grill and ended up setting all the food on fire instead, and the second attempt at dinner just went on the grill three minutes ago—but you seriously have to pee. In lieu of food, you’ve downed three cans of Coke from the drinks fridge in the garage. You cross the kitchen, accidentally-on-purpose brush against Maeve as you exit, and head down the hall to the half bath.

When you come out, you hear voices. Snatches of words. Your mother and cousin-in-law, sitting in your grandma’s sewing room. They’re supposed to be organizing it for her, but instead they’re sitting on bolts of fabric, gossiping.

“...tried to tell me they’d found someone, but they look absolutely miserable with that girl they brought,” your mother says. With a jolt, you realize she’s talking about you. “Maybe they’ll sit together at dinner, but with how far apart they’ve been standing since they arrived, I doubt it. And that girl has been scowling at everyone.”

“She’s worse than Luc,” your cousin-in-law says smugly. “And god knows he has the worst resting bitch face I ever saw. Sometimes I don’t know why I fell in love with him. No offense.”

“None taken. He’s not my kid.”

You don’t even like Luc, but your fingers curl into fists. As usual, you wonder what the fuck you did in a past life to be born into a family of people who spend all their time hating each other.

“Anyway” —your cousin-in-law examines her nails, fresh from a day at the salon, where she surely treats the staff hellishly— “I don’t think it’ll last. They’ve hardly spoken two words to each other all afternoon.”

Your fists tighten. She’s one to talk. She and Luc have hardly spoken to each other since the day of their wedding; on the rare occasion you do hear them speak, they’re picking fights. She gushes about her perfect marriage to anyone who will listen when her husband isn’t around, but their marriage—your uncle’s marriage, your parents’ marriage, every marriage around you except your grandparents’—is exactly the reason you’ve been so reluctant to date. The reason you asked Maeve to fake being your girlfriend, so your relatives would stop offering to set you up with someone. They all make each other fucking miserable.

And they think you and Maeve won’t last?

Okay yeah sure fine, you and Maeve aren’t a thing in the first place. Not really. You’re neighbors, and coworkers, and maybe friends now.

But since Maeve agreed to fake-date you, you’ve shared more with her about yourself than you have with...anyone, maybe. Definitely more than you’ve shared with anyone in your family. Definitely more than they share with their respective spouses, or each other.

Silly things, mostly. You like it when the front door of a house is painted bright, aqua or magenta or chartreuse. Your favorite flowers are all the yellow ones, like dandelions or forsythia, even though otherwise you’re not that fond of yellow. You always like the sad songs and love ballads more than the fun, fast-paced songs that steal the show. Things that don’t matter, except that they do, because now Maeve points out all the brightly colored doors when you walk back to your apartment building together after a shift.

Your mother and cousin-in-law are still talking. The conversation has moved on now—apparently your uncle has cheated on his wife, again—but you’re angry. Your skin prickles. Your nails bite your palms. You could nudge the door open and confront them, but confrontation has never been your forte.

Instead, you tiptoe to the kitchen and touch Maeve’s back.

She half turns, an eyebrow quirked. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I just. I need you to come with me.”

“Why?” Maeve asks, but she’s already following you back down the hall.

“Because my relatives suck and I need you to kiss me.”

You stop far enough from the sewing room that your mother and cousin-in-law probably won’t hear you. You turn toward Maeve, leaning against the wall with your arms crossed. It hasn’t occurred to you that the words I need you to kiss me actually just crossed your lips. Maeve’s dark eyes flicker over you, but she mirrors your posture and waits.

“They’re all in shitty marriages,” you say in a low voice, “except my mom, because she’s in a shitty divorce that was so shitty it was almost as bad as the marriage, except that it was over faster. But because we’re not attached at the hip or making googly eyes at each other, they think my relationship with my new girlfriend is a dead-end that’s going to end before it’s begun.”

Maeve snorts. “Fuck them. I may not make googly eyes at my fake girlfriend, but they’re nuts if they think I wouldn’t go to the ends of the earth and back for my fake girlfriend. Or, like, bring home takeout every night after work, or always do the laundry because they hate doing laundry, or whatever.”

That gets you for a second, because okay yeah sure fine it’s all fake, but Maeve still just kind of said she’d go to the ends of the earth for you. And bring you takeout. And always do laundry, which honestly might as well be a marriage proposal, because someone doing the laundry so you don’t have to is well and truly your love language.

“So.” Maeve’s eyes rove over your face. “Not that I object to kissing you, but how exactly is kissing going to help this situation?”

Right. You asked her to kiss you. Or more accurately stated slightly desperately and angrily that you need her to kiss you. You tense, trying to sound cool and nonchalant when you’re now thinking about kissing Maeve.

“When my mom and cousin-in-law come out of that room,” you say, nodding back toward the sewing room, “I want them to see us kissing. Like, really kissing. You know.”

The corner of Maeve’s mouth lifts again. “Really kissing. Gotcha.”

You flush. “Yeah. That. I just. I want...” You want some really great kissing. Focus. “I want them to see that we’re actually fucking into each other and super affectionate with each other even if we don’t feel like turning it into a performance so everyone else will believe we’re in love.”

Maeve tilts her head. “Even though it’ll literally be a performance so everyone will believe we’re in love?”

Your flush deepens. “Yeah.”

Maeve shifts closer, her eyes flickering over you. God, her eyes. Dark and intense and always just a little bit sad.

“I think I can sell being fucking into you,” she says quietly.

Shit, you think vaguely, poor choice of words on your part, because fucking and you are the only things you can think now that Maeve has repeated them back to you. But the thought slips away, because now Maeve is an inch away, her tall body curving over you, and her hands are cupping your face and oh my god she is actually really for real going to kiss you.

Her lips brush over yours, soft and sweet. Your breath hitches.

The door opens down the hall. As your relatives step out of the sewing room, Maeve crushes your lips under hers. Her hands slip into your hair, your arms wind around her neck, you pull her down, closer, closer, and now you’re kissing her back, your fingers playing in her hair just because they can, your eyes closed, your skin glorying in the warmth of her breath, the press of her body against yours.

Behind you, Luc’s shitty wife makes a sound of disgust and says, “Oh my god, get a room!” Your mother hisses, “Do you want to give your grandmother a heart attack? Right outside her sewing room!”

But (a) your grandma is safely outside by the grill, far away from the sudden make-out session, and (b) your grandma, if she saw you kissing a pretty girl, would almost certainly say something along the lines of “isn’t that sweet!” or “good for them!” And frankly you don’t remember why it was important to kiss Maeve where your mother and cousin-in-law would see it. Or whether there was a point to kissing Maeve at all, unless kissing Maeve was the point.

Your brain is preoccupied with Maeve’s lips on yours, her hands cradling your head, your body crushed beneath hers. But as your relatives slink past and disappear, as the sliding door in the kitchen opens and slams, as Maeve goes on kissing you like her life depends on it, as you fail to say something along the lines of okay we can stop now—as you fail to say, in fact, anything at all—you think, distantly: maybe this dating is less fake than I thought.

#answered #writing prompts #kissing prompts #short story #e's writing

[ovaryacted]

HIIIIIIII!!!!!! How you doing Nic <<3 I haven't been on Tumblr for ages so idk if I missed any new fanfic from you? (Though I guess I'll find out soon enough cause I'm about to stalk ur blog again)

What have you been up to besides simping for Leon? And has the holiday mood hit you yet? I hope you're doing great!!! My days have literally been PACKED with exams I'm so exausteddd. I'm really proud of myself today cause I think I did very well on an exam I literally started studying for this morning (gonna get that stupid degree 🫡🫡) the exam was a nightmare cause the professor was literally like fifteen minutes late and she made it so damn difficult for no reason 🤧🤧 FUCK PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY I'M SICK AND TIRED!!!

But anyway, ur blog always gets my mood up tho!! Even though I don't have a lot of time lately I love binging ur posts whenever I have a second to breathe. I know I've said this before but you're my favorite blog on here! Keep up the good work pookie <33

Also I just got a notification of you saying you want someone to bully you into writing so I guess I gotta make this ask meaner like...

START WRITING RIGHT THE **** NOW YOU ******* PIECE OF **** DON'T BE SUCH A ***** *****🤬😡😤

Did that help ☺️?

Anyhow yeah, just felt like sending an ask cause I haven't in a while. I'm really proud of you btw, don't overwork yourself Nic! Quality over quantity is te way to go <33 byeee lovelieeee ❤️❤️❤️

-🌑

MY NEW MOON ANON BABY HI HOW ARE YOU I’VE MISSED YOU!! 🩶

I’m decent, kind of just trying to survive and go through the motions. November’s been rough, December is kinda worse BUT I’m chilling for the most part. I hope you’re doing alright especially with your studies!! I’m super proud of you for focusing on school work and getting good grades. And yes, fuck physical chemistry, but the real bitch in the sciences is physics (I love biology and chemistry lmao, but absolutely can’t stand physics!). I’m sure that you will do great for this semester, I wish you the absolute best on your finals. Take care of yourself, eat well and stay hydrated, and do get your rest. I remember how I was during finals when I was still in school, absolutely tore me apart I was running on lattes like it was water LMAO. But I hope you get your break very soon!

I always love seeing your messages, they make me happy. But I also feel ashamed I haven’t written anything new though I am in the process of getting back in the groove of things. My brain just hasn’t kicked in when it comes to smut and it’s like I know what to write, just never know how?? I have so many ideas, and usually I’m very good at creating intricate hcs or plot points or need be, but when it comes to writing it out it just takes me forever to do it now. It’s a process, but I know I’ll have something for you to read soon. The bullying is working tho, I will say that because the second you sent me that message I actually opened up my computer and wrote something 😭 So thank you!

And btw, I got your longer ask, I didn’t forget about you wanting more sub Leon. I have two WIPs in the process, jumping between them, but now I’m changing the way I’m seeing and writing for Leon so I have to tweak some things out. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten. Thank you for the lovely message seriously. 🫶🧡

#ovaryacted asks #₊˚⊹♡ ─ new moon anon 🌑

[hiemalstar]

niragi x reader - same thing, different font: disgusting kinks?

introduction

oh boy, this one is going to piss people off. hello tumblr, im back again to rant about alice in borderland; however, this time, it has to do with the fandom itself.  niragi x readers. lets talk about it. DISCLAIMER 1. i am aware that it is called fanfiction for a reason. this is just my opinion, and my personal views on the niragi fanfiction community.  2. todays post contains topics that may cause discomfort such as rape. now that youve read the disclaimer, lets begin.

fanfiction - what are the stereotypes?

if youve read the title, you can see this will be discussing some stereotypes. now, like i said in the disclaimer, i am aware that fanfiction can be anything, and i have nothing against those who write it; i write fanfiction too! its fun to do so. though, when it comes to niragi x readers, or any niragi fic in general, there is absolutely no fucking differences. same thing, different font. to be more specific, the same reoccurring smutfic keeps coming up. niragi is at the beach, female y/n walks in, niragi fucks around w her, he rapes her and y/n gets off on it. oh my gods i gagged a little writing that last part. 

though, the rape is not what this section is about. that will tie in later, so keep it in mind. the stereotype is a pretty average thing to find; if you try to find a flufffic of niragi, you will find likely nothing. if you look for a niragi x m!reader fic, you will probably find at most three to four posts. the same thing.  the stereotype of niragi fanfics encourages the stereotype of niragi himself and his characters image. because most of these writers try to make it as accurate as possible to the media, it usually comes across as “aggressive bitch edges girl and she likes it”. what a headline guys! 

now if youve been on my page before, you already know i have a strong opinion on niragi and i think hes a pretty complex character that people dont pay attention to enough.  with a stereotyped fanfic around a stereotyped character with a controversial fanbase you end up with something like this. though, at one point, i started to notice that people writing these fanfics were not writing this out of the intentions of something i would have, like enjoying his character outside of stereotypes. no honey, i was wrong.

rape “kink” ; the ongoing interest in niragi fanfics

trigger warning this section is absolutely fucking vile and disgusting. scroll away if you find yourself disturbed with this topic.

heres where the rape ties in. the majority of these writers were NOT into niragis character because they see beyond his stereotypes, but because of his actions and stereotypes.thats right guys! this majority of writers im talking about are into rape. thats right! rape! the thing that traumatizes and even kills people!! i even saw some creators of niragi fanfics containing rape post or note on their work that “if you dont have a rape kink, what are you even doing looking at niragi smut??”  i am not a rape victim, but i am an sa victim. you do NOT want to be raped or sa'd. it is not erotic at all. it ruins you and has long term effects on your relationships and self.  please, if you are someone claiming to have a ‘rape kink’, i am begging you, to get help. this is not a kink, and i swear it has to be some sort of mental disorder, like people who are attracted to serial killers. 

conclusion

the reason why we have fanfics like this iss because of people identifying like this.  please be sure to share your opinion; i know this one wasnt exactly the most detailed, but lets be honest... i shouldnt even have to say this in general. 

anyway, considering the topic, how would u guys feel if i made niragi fanfics on ao3 outside of his stereotypes??? just an idea, if youd like to see that, lmk :) this is hiemal, signing outbye guys, make sure to leave suggestions!! <3

#alice in borderland #niragi suguru #niragi alice in borderland #aib #rant #smutfic #fanfic #fanfiction #niragixreader #niragi fanfiction #rape is not cute #stop romanticizing rape #antirape

[moonlightdancer26]

Heya, I'm this anon -> https://moonlightdancer26.tumblr.com/post/697464103339524096/im-a-trans-man-myself-ive-heard-some-of-the

Don't let any lost followers get to you. That follower you mentioned may have completely different reasons for unfollowing than you might think.

For many of us, fandom is an escape from a shitty reality, and it's understandable if a trans person doesn't want to see reminders of transphobia, including posts that defend trans people.

I unfollow fandom blogs who start posting about certain social issues not because I disagree, but because it's simply too taxing to constantly be reminded of all the bad in the world.

They also simply could have misclicked unfollow by accident!

Now, here's a hug (づ ´• ω •`)づ

Hi again!

Losing followers isn’t that big a surprise to me, this isn’t the first time something similar’s happened. But I got upset because it was that one specific person—who’s not only trans but also whose blog I really enjoy.

I agree with what you’ve said: People definitely don’t like seeing constant reminders of things they’re hated/oppressed for, I certainly don’t. But I think I should’ve clarified more in the tags; they defended her. They were understanding about it and of course I don’t have any problem with that, but the issue I have is… they’re able to empathise with her and forgive her, but the fact that they also unfollowed me after this implies I’ve done something wrong. So the issue I have is, if you can empathise with what she did, then why can you not understand why I reacted the way I did? I know I sound like a fucking child right now but this has been bothering me too much (there’ve been other instances like this) to stay quiet. This has happened many times before, when anything’s happened with another tumblr blog and I genuinely am in need of support, 99% of them turn their backs on me. 🤷‍♀️

How do people want me to go about the situation? “You know what, Ladykardasi? You’re right, I’m SO sorry for trying to defend trans people! I totally shouldn’t have informed you that it was offensive to imply trans men aren’t “genuine” men! 🥰 and I should TOTALLY forgive you for calling me a bitch and trying to silence me after you supposedly did nothing wrong! ☺️” Is this what people want me to say? I’m not trans nor am I a male, and even I found that hurtful. If people can forgive her, then why not me? I’m not forcing anyone to continue following me—nor am I refusing to unfollow someone after they asked, unlike a certain someone :)—or even like me, but please just understand where I’m coming from.

That being said, I’m not even angry at the person who unfollowed me, nor do I resent them; I’m just upset and very confused.

I honestly don’t want to know why they unfollowed me—because of my attempted defence of trans folks, or because of my blog as a whole. I don’t think either answer will make me feel any better.

+ Misclicking the unfollow button at this time seems a bit too much of a coincidence, but I really hope you’re right. 😭<3

Now, here's a hug (づ ´• ω •`)づ

thank you so much, anon 🥺❤️ I saw your ask yesterday right after I arrived home and I was already on the verge of tears (because of something that happened), so when I saw this I actually shedded a few tears 😭 (but today was great! I’m much happier now <33)

#ask #asks

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary107

12/29/2023

friday

here's a photo i found in a magazine on internet archive today that feels too apt to not put on tumblr dot com:

anyway i emailed me resume to that kbbq place.. i can't wait to wash dishes and think about killing myself every day. i already do that but it's less, i dunno, meaningful, it's just like, yeah that's something that happens sometimes. maybe it'll just be that when i wash dishes again. it probably will be. i'm just a stupid dramatic bitch.

anyway that picture is really funny, it's too much, it's probably been posted like a million times, it's such perfect fodder for what people put up here usually.

anyway here's some other stuff i was finding from old gyaru fashion mags (looking for references for cover art):

a very young girl thing of me to do, stare at fashion mags to absorb their ways of expressing / presenting reality, graphical means and so on. but i guess everybody is like that in their own ways. guys staring at old mde videos for inspiration are more young girls than me, at least i know these are kind of psycho. this is a vapid way to think but it's funny, which is why i am doing it.

mde is on the mind because my gf started watching fishtank recently. it seems mostly insane and evil, but that's fascinating to see so i get her watching it. it's the next generation of jerry springer, i think, or other shit like that. drama youtube and fishtank, that's the next generation of trashy reality tv. it's scary to me that this stuff just won't disappear, an evil impulse in spectacular societies, to not ever look away from these kinds of systems that make people behave certain ways, and to goad people into being insane to feel like you see the evil parts of culture or whatever. or not just evil, the ugly degenerate stuff, to feel like you can always sense that. fishtank really seems to love that for its 2nd season.

anyway sam hyde is such a piece of shit, too much breath here has been wasted on that freak pedophile.

anyway today, since i got to every song re: mixing finally, i decided to listen to the album as i have it rn, at first i was a little over an hour but i cut songs, now it's 48 minutes. i'll say there's room for +/- 1 min (really like 1 min 30 w/ short songs). but idk. i should see if i can shorten some of the songs here naturally, like if they have parts that repeat too much, take too long to get to their points, whatever. there's one song that's a maybe, it depends on if i can get it to sound right and find the right place for it. i love the song, so i want to keep it in the album. i should see if there's any short song rn that i don't want to keep, but i feel really attached to them all. actually there's another maybe too, both need to be placed right i think. they both kind of stick funny in the album. they need to fit in a bit better, idk how to do that w/ the second one but i like it a lot, there's just a part that's not right yet i think, in terms of how it sounds, it could be a bit crazier, louder, noisier maybe.

when i listened i took notes on some of the songs that needed special attention at the front of the record, i got through 6 of those, the list is of 8, so 2 more tomorrow and then i go through and listen again and try to see what else needs to change.

there's like 33 songs, so there's still a lot to get through but if i can maintain this pace/something like this pace, i'll be very happy.

right now i am just thinking about how my misanthropy comes in waves, but for a long time now, it's been given no reason to recede. something about pessimism is basically addictive but i don't think i'm in some mental-opiate haze, where i am, about people, at least some of them. it feels solidly under my feet, i know something totally pyrrhic, so many people i know, i have to keep asterisks on my relationships with them, because they just say awful things or reveal things. communist friends, even, maybe them especially. it's not about my feeling that i'm better even, it's just this overwhelming being used to finding out someone you know says "i'm glad (x) is transphobic too", to someone you know, a closer friend meeting someone from online. it's like, i knew he felt that way, i knew the person he was talking about felt that way too, my friend probably knew too, he is frustrated because it's stupid that anyone would decide to confide this in you. when pushed on it, this person who i guess is still basically something like a friend said "well it's because of andrea dworkin. it's feminist," which is so stupid and gross. i hate what radical feminism means now, or in the hands of people like that, i also hate that i basically know and expect this kind of thing from people who are close friends w/ this other friend (with asterisks) because she sort of becomes their whole moral/political compass because she's the kind of person who you want to agree w/ you or tell you that you're fine and whatever.

beyond this, other insane social failures that have left my friends, my closer ones who i don't have to put asterisks on, miserable and paranoid. not a terrible sort of paranoid, like this other guy i knew, who believed the satanic panic was real and all kinds of other shit. he also was vaguely transphobic, worried about the biopolitical consequences of hrt. seeing that problem and not questioning the broader circumstance that put us here, and instead accepting the reactionary assumption that this kind of thing is wasteful and dangerous from the jump, and feeding a fantasy or whatever. messing with your body is too far. he accepted people otherwise though, the paranoid guy, he was very catholic and maybe just not sure of things entirely. transphobic is ultimately only half right for these people, he really did accept people, when i told him about diy hrt, he was shocked and it seemed to change his mind on something, i couldn't tell what. but his obsession with child abuse cults and conspiracies broadly made him impossible to really talk to. he was also a communist. i am not complaining about communism, just expressing that these are not fascists.

i don't really know what i'm talking about. a lot of these people are just so frustrating. i don't know why they are like this.

i am getting tired now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!

[threeletterslife]

Hi baby!! I've been pretty busy because of exams and stuff, so I'm only just getting time to read chapter 10!

From what I remember we left off on a cliffhanger... I'm so scared to read on 😭 Let's just do this-

He would never feel for a Darlarean, so you must be the firthest thing from one — SOBBING SOBBING SOBBING HE ADMITTED IT I'M GONNA CRY

When the man admits to the love first >>>>>>

Oh... it's kind of sad to me how Yoongi is subtly refusing the fact that she's a Darlarean. I understand that he hates them, and for good reason, but it's like... it feels kind of desperate to me. I understand that he's consoling both of them but damn it hurts to read

If he's not too careful he might just- — babe, you're already too far gone

"I suppose this is war" — MOTHERFUCKER YOU WILL NOT HAVE TAEHYUNG (I'm assuming that's him) BEHEADED UNDER MY WATCH GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND STOP THIS SOMEHOW

I do not CARE if he's a Darlarean, so are you bitch get a grip I'm not having any deaths in this story

Don't get me wrong, I am SO glad she feels at home in Solaria and loves her country. She found herself and it makes me incredibly happy. But I don't want her to push her Darlarean side away and act as if it never existed, though I understand why she would want to do that. And I don't want yoongi to act as if she's just not Darlarean, and just ignore it. You can't ignore these things :(

Okay back to the lighthearted mood. This mock interrogation is so adorable i love them!! They're so cute 😭

"I also noticed the shitty posture right away" — it's not a proper chapter if she's not giving him shit about his posture 🥲✋

Oh the story of Haneul was actually quite beautiful. It sounds like an actual folk tale you would hear! I love how Solaria has a whole history to it, with culture and traditions and even stories, you really outdid yourself with the world building!!

NAYOOON best girl 😭😭😭 lovely lovely lovely, I love her. Another character I have a crush on now <3

Y/n seems like someone who's very easy to talk to. Literally everyone is sprouting their life stories to her. This sounds weird but I'd love to talk to her, or at least someone like her. She seems very... I don't know how to describe it, easygoing? At the very least a good friend

NAYOON SAID THE SAME THING LITERALLY TWO SECONDS AFTER I TYPED IT OUT LETS GO TELEPATHY

NO OMG THAT MAN IN THE END WAS TAEHYUNG (still assuming that guy is taehyung argue with a wall)

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I'M GOING TO CRY. THEY WERE PROBABLY SUPER CLOSE AND WHEN SHE DIDNT RECOGNISE HIM HE MUST HSVE BEEN SO HEARTBROKEN CHANA I AM GOING TO START SOBBING

THAT LAST SCENE AHHHH it was so sad and just absolutely brimming with emotion I'm going to FUCKING cry

Ah :((((( ahhhhhh :((((( gwiavdisbdwigdiejdhdhsjssjjsosjsjsjsjsjshisoqsojssjxvsj nsjsosjsjsisihzjsjshsjss

Okay now that they keyboard smash is over, a little announcement !! It is currently my eid holidays, (Ramadan ends either tomorrow or today, we're not quite sure yet). After eid we're gonna have exams, so I'm trying to limit myself and not go on tumblr for the duration of the exams. Which means I won't be able to read any chapter you post from now till the end of May :/

Very sad, but just hope that I do good in my exams 😭 i can't wait to come back in June <33

Also 1) ASSAULTED?? YOU WERE??? when I get my hands on that dude istfg a bitch is getting slapped 2) please tell me that's past tense. The guy you WERE seeing. PAST TENSE. Tell me he's gone, a dude like him doesn't deserve a queen like you 3) (about the yacht party, not the campus lockdown-) GET YOURSELF A SUGAR DADDY. Find the son of some mafia/ceo/gang leader, bump into him, get your life settled miss y/n 🥳 (but seriously have fun!!) (Or i hope you had fun, I'm very late)

Love youuu MUAH <3

i am SO SORRY i responded to this so late 😭 it's the week before finals for me so things have been *quite* hectic! so you and me both babe LOL exams have got us in a chokehold :')

lod is FULL of sadness and heartbreak and hurt 😳 this def won't be the end of it, unfortunately,,, but we do get happy moments here and there 🤩

"I'm not having any deaths in this story" 💀💀💀💀 you are in for a ride, honey <3

"it's not a proper chapter if she's not giving him shit about his posture" I AM SCREECHING LMAOOO it's not like HER posture is impeccable either 🤨 idk why she gives him so much shit for it 💔 my theory is that she just has to find something imperfect in him... otherwise he'd be too good to be true 😟

THANK YOU! I SPENT A BAJILLION YEARS WRITING THIS CHAPTER JUST BECAUSE I WAS WRITING OUT HANEUL'S STORY LMAO 😭 i'm so so glad you thought it helped with the world-building because that was exactly my intent!

everyone has a girl crush on nayoon. she is the moment. an icon (much like doyun 😩)

YES!! oc is the epitome of an 'easy to talk to' person! she is all-ears for everyone! and she has this sort of very ~trustable~ aura that allows people to ~lower~ their guards around her! (#infj things)

LMAO YOU AND NAYOON ARE ONE 😳😳

good good luck with your exams and stay happy and healthy during your month off of tumblr!!!

yes. i still can't believe it happened

i'll tell him after finals that we're DONE

the yacht party was a success 😩 i just became elected as the director of my club so i'm really excited for next semester too :))

thank you for another amazing commentary!! i literally appreciate you SO MUCH <3 i can't wait to hear from you again! i'm telling you every time i get your ask, i read it AT LEAST five times before i respond (and it's a serotonin boost every time 😩)

#ask #chimchiekookie #lod #legends of darlaria

[esther-dot]

it is your side that has been crosstagging for years now and posting negative, offensive, and frankly disgusting content. even when people tag posts with "anti sansa stark" your side comes seething out like jobless harpies to attack the person and call them names such as "stupid sluts/bitches" and this is without mentioning all the buzzwords your insensivitive asses ascribe to people who disagree with your nonsensical headcanons and misogynistic theories. stay in your lane, stop offending people by posting anti content in the "asoiaf" tag to circumvent the specific character tag so you can claim that you're innocent and we would have no problem. better yet, stop harrassing individuals, and kindly fuck off to your regressive circle of dumbasses <3 instead of wondering why your friends have to resort to changing the text from the books to supplement your poor excuse of "metas" you are all crying about how a fictional character, sansa stark, is driving people crazy. newsflash your ignorant fuck: nobody cares about your fave so much as the behaviour you people, her fans, have been showing for the longest while now.

Do you really think you’re in the position to lecture me about tumblr etiquette? Because it’s impossible for you to make me feel bad about other people’s behavior while you’re behaving this way. Like, let’s just sit here and think how funny it is that you’re complaining to me about the proper use of tags in a hateful anonymous message. Come on, that is really funny!

Actually, let’s just pause and think about how your anon hate undermines your argument, not only for that reason but also because my asks are not usually tagged with any of the main tags, so I know you’re following me (or my mutuals who reblog my stuff) which means you’re just camped out on our blogs for the sole purpose of making a nuisance of yourself. And while you’re doing that, you think you can convince me that we’re the ones creating drama.

Personally, I don’t like the insults you mentioned, so I know I haven’t used them in reference to characters and certainly not in reference to other fans, and I’m not responsible for other people’s choices or behavior, and I certainly can’t dictate what they say, so I’m not even sure what your goal is. I mean, you expressed your rage (yay!), but technically, as long as we’re keeping stuff on our own blogs or using the anti tag, we’re following tumblr etiquette no matter what horrible names we call the rest of the fandom. You’re the one engaging in targeted harassment. Oops! 😆

Speaking of tags, it sounds like you’re confused about how people use the tags? Everything ASOIAF related is allowed in that main tag. If it is “anti” a character or ship, it should also be tagged “anti (insert character or ship)” so people’s filters prevent them from seeing it, but it isn’t the case that people aren’t allowed to post negative content there. That isn’t some scheme to “circumvent” anything, it’s how all sides of the fandom have used the tags for as long as I’ve been active. Now you can even filter the content of the post, so it’s up to you to turn the filters on.

Lastly, that claim that “nobody cares about my fave” uh, y’all do. That’s why yesterday and today Sansa fans have been getting anon hate. You’re obsessed with her. Instead of blocking me and others in my fandom, instead of filtering tags to avoid our offensive takes, you’re here, reading our stuff and choosing to interact with us. I can only assume y’all care, and that you care a lot. One day, when you truly don’t care about our opinion, when you’re over worrying that we’re right about Sansa and her endgame, you’ll stop reading our stuff. If you truly didn’t care, you’d leave us alone. How do I know? I block y’all. I go through the anti Sansa tag and block all of you because I truly don’t give a fuck. Try it. You’ll be happier for it, I promise.

#ask dot

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

#long post #rant #i almost deleted this #but you sent it on just the right day and instead i let loose #this is unedited and unbetaed lmao but ENJOY #or don't #whatever #writing stuff #i should tag it #writing SHIT #but that's not really a tag i keep cause who wants to keep track of the negatives #not me

[honeymilkk00]

Haikyuu Boys: You Flinch

yooooo so my first post on tumblr,,, kinda scary but here goes nothing. if the characters are too ooc i apologise but it’s because this is my first time writing a haikyuu one shot. also i’m fucking obsessed with angst to comfort hmu with some good ones (hopefully i haven’t read them). also pleaseeeee this isn’t an attack on the reader, you all are so fucking gorgeous. i’m trying to write this angst with my personal insecurities in mind so it can be more realistic. remember to drink water and eat 3 meals a day.

characters:

-tanaka

-ushijima

---------------------------------------

Tanaka

Recently, you had noticed a strain in your and Tanaka’s relationship. Of course, you were always pretty self-conscious in the relationship- he always hung out with Kiyoko when he went to practise and spoke about her like she was a goddess.

That didn’t mean you didn’t like Kiyoko. In fact, you looked up to her a lot, heeding her advice every time she spoke to you. But, who wouldn’t be insecure? Kiyoko was everything you were not. She was smart, she was pretty, she was organised, and she had a great personality to go with it. Sometimes, you’d sit thinking that maybe Tanaka would be happier with her. 

And today was one of those days. It was lunch and, as usual, Tanaka was at practise. You didn’t mind and grew pretty accustomed to it, often sitting to the side of the sports hall, watching and cheering. You were happy that your boyfriend had such a deep interest in something. 

As you sat next to the coach, taking small bites out of an apple, you noticed Tanaka’s wondering gaze. Following his eyes, you frowned slightly when you noticed him staring at Kiyoko with a small blush on his face. An uneasy feeling in your gut made you stop eating, just watching. When Tanaka walked over to her and tucked her hair behind her ear after helping her pick up spare balls, you felt bile rise in your throat. Suffocating. It felt like suffocating as you watched your boyfriend touch and blush around your friend whilst right in front of you. 

Biting your lip nervously, you packed away your lunch and stood up. There was still 10 minutes left of lunch. If Tanaka asked, you could’ve dismissed it as simply wanting to get to class early. Nodding to Coach Ukai and Daichi, you swiftly exited the sports hall and walked to your next lesson.

_

Somehow, you had avoided Tanaka for the rest of the day. You knew you were probably overreacting, but the way he looked at her with such a loving gaze made you feel sick. He didn’t even look at you with that much compassion, and you were his girlfriend. 

So, you slung your backpack over your shoulders and made your way home. Normally, you would walk with your boyfriend, but not today. It was silent without Tanaka making small comments here and there and laughing. Insecure thoughts filled your mind, and, with no one to distract you from them, you listened.

You listened to every single thought that crossed your mind.

Why were you not pretty enough?

Why did Tanaka love Kiyoko more than he loved you?

Why were you so petty?

Why were you running away instead of talking to him?

Why were you not good enough?

You swallowed the bile that slowly rose in your throat and looked down at your hands that clenched together.

Just get over it. You can’t be better than her. 

A hand placed on your shoulder, snapping you out of your thoughts. Swiftly, you head diverted to look at whoever touched you right in the eyes. 

Shit.

“Hey, you’ve been ignoring me since lunch. Did something happen? Why are you walking home without me?” Tanaka let go of your shoulder and raised a curious brow at you.

You weren’t ready to talk to him yet.

Forcing a smile, you looked down at your hands instead of his gaze-his piercing gaze that left you weak and helpless. “Nothing is wrong,” you started, pausing for a second to recollect your thoughts. “I just wanted to get to class quickly after lunch... And I was walking home by myself because I have a lot of homework to do.” You lied smoothly, but of course, Tanaka saw through it.

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Tanaka sighed and tilted his head, “are you going to tell your boyfriend the truth or continue to lie straight to my face? We’re partners- a team- you’re meant to trust me and communicate. Wasn’t it you who said that was important?” His voice gradually got louder with every sentence, his patience wearing thin. 

You looked back at him and opened your mouth, before closing it. Of course, trust and communication is key in relationships but... Your eyes glanced up at Tanaka. Opening your mouth again, you spoke, “It’s just...” You started and licked your lips, taking a deep breath, “You seem to be close with Kiyoko. Very close..” You whispered the last bit, but he still caught it. 

Clenching his fists, Tanaka frowned, “well excuse me, but she’s been my friend longer than I’ve dated you. I don’t see why it’s an issues now.” His voice was firm and loud, making you shrink into yourself.

“I get that, I do. But you can’t just get all close like blushing and tucking her hair behind her ear when you’re in a relationship.” You tried to reason with him. Yes, you know they were friends longer than you and Tanaka had been in a relationship and you respected that. That was why you never mentioned anything before. 

Tanaka made a ‘tch’ sound and took in a deep breath, glaring down at you. Like this, he looked like an alpha- strong, in charge, dominant. In normal circumstances, you might’ve blushed or even squirmed, but in this situation, all you felt was your fight or flight impulse going crazy. “Well I’m sorry, but just because you’re insecure about yourself doesn’t mean you can be a selfish bitch! Grow up (Y/n)!”

That was what made you snap.

“Excuse me!? Tanaka, you told me to communicate and so I did, but when I do my opinions and feelings are immediately shut down!? I’m not saying you can’t be friends with Kiyoko! You can! Just please don’t keep touching her intimately because it makes me think you’d rather be with her!” You shouted back.

Letting out a deep growl, Tanaka leaned over you with a menacing glare and quickly lifted his hand, which made you flinch violently and close your eyes tightly, lifting you arms to shield yourself. 

Snapping out of his rage, Tanaka’s eyes widened.

You flinched. You flinched at him.

Did you seriously think he was going to hit you? 

Taking a shaky breath, he gently placed a hand on your cheek, which made you flinch more and slowly open your eyes to look into his. Your eyes held nothing but pure fear. You couldn’t help it- Tanaka was big, strong and intimidating. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes.

“Please don’t look at me like that, baby.. I’m sorry.. I’ll never hit you.” Tanaka whispered softly and pulled you in for a gentle hug. “I’m so sorry I scared you like that..” He murmured lightly.

Shakily, you took a breath, letting your tears slip down your cheeks. “Ngh.. ‘M sorry I annoyed you Tana...” You whispered softly, crying into his shoulder. “’M just... Scared. Kiyoko is beautiful and has the best personality and I’m just... Me.” You admitted, finally calming down when you realised that Tanaka would never ever hurt you, no matter how much you angered him.

Tanaka’s eyes softened and he gently stroke your hair. “Exactly. You’re you. That’s why I love you, baby.” He whispered gently and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

Slowly, you leaned into his touch more, “Okay...”

Tanaka sighed gently, “I didn’t realise I was being too touchy with her, but I’ll stop for you baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled weakly back.

“Icecream?” He asked.

“Please.”

__________________________________

Ushijima

You always knew volleyball was his passion. It was his everything, and you respected that. 

Still though, when you became his girlfriend, you thought that maybe you’d at least tie with volleyball in importance. However, you soon realised three months into the relationship that what you believed didn’t seem to be the case. In fact, it seemed as if you were more of a chore for Ushijima than something he enjoyed spending his time on. 

Eventually, it all got too much.

You watched him practise from the side-lines, frowning since he barely even glanced at you, let alone said hello. Of course, you didn’t mind. He was focused on practising, so it would make sense if he didn’t acknowledge you.

Ushijima paused his practise to get a small drink and you took this opportunity to encourage him and drop off his lunch since he had a tendency to forget his. “Ushi, you’re doing so-” You started, but was soon cut off by your blunt lover.

“(Y/N), can’t you see I’m focusing right now? I’ll talk later, but right now volleyball is all that matters. You’re irrelevant right now.” He retorted swiftly, before shrugging you off and going back to practise his spikes. 

Biting your lip slightly, you swallowed thickly and looked down at your feet in shame. Those words hurt, even if they weren’t the most aggressive. Maybe he did only see you as a burden. The thought made you shiver and deepen your frown. The last thing you wanted was to hold your boyfriend back, even if it hurt you. Taking one last glance at Ushijima, you set his lunch down by his bottle and turned away, hiding the tears in your eyes by looking at the ground. 

It felt as if someone was squeezing your heart in your chest, and a lump soon formed in your throat. You choked on a sob and headed home, turning off your phone completely. 

Once you had reached the comfort of your house, you collapsed on your bed and sobbed silently into a pillow, curling tightly into a small ball. 

_

You were unsure as to how long you had been crying for, but you soon awoke from a slumber when you felt the bed dip and a large arm wrap around your waist. Biting your lip, you turned your head to come face to face with Ushiwaka. “Ushi...” You whispered quietly.

“My love, you have been crying. Your eyes are red and puffy.” He stated and frowned lightly. “What happened?” The male gently brushed his thumb against your hip, caressing it tenderly.

Tensing up, you sat up and pushed his hand away lightly. “Ushijima..” You started and looked down, clenching your fists together. “Is volleyball really that important to you..?” You whispered out, barely loud enough for him to hear.

The brute frowned and also sat up, narrowing his eyes slightly, “(Y/N), why are you so annoyed over my passion?” He asked and let out a scoff. “What, are you jealous of a ball? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” Ushijima’s voice raised slightly, but he soon shut up when he noticed you flinch and sink deeper into the bed. 

You avoided eye contact from your lover and gripped the sheets tightly in your hand, “’M sorry..” You whispered out as tears filled your vision. “Maybe I am being ridiculous.. I just think that...” You choked on a sob. “That you’d be better off with someone else. All I seem to do is hold you back from doing what you love. ‘M just a pain..” Hurt filled your voice and you swallowed thickly.

Ushijima’s eyes widened slightly and he frowned, gently taking your hands into his large ones. “Darling... You are all I want. I am sorry if those comments I said earlier made you feel insecure, but I truly do care for you. You are the only person I want in my life.” Gently, he placed his forehead on yours and kissed away your tears. “You are anything but a pain, my love.”

Looking into your boyfriend’s eyes, you smiled lightly and pressed your lips against his delicately. “You’re forgiven, Ushi..”

#haikyu #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu angst #angst #haikyuuangst #tanaka angst #ushiwaka angst #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima angst #requestsopen #haikyuu comfort #tanaka ryuunosuke

[avtrbee]

Unexpected Secret

inspired by the tumblr post above!

this fic defies almost everyhting that is canon but its really cute and fluffy in my opinion so idc idc idc

Petra was furious.

I’m gonna kill her, Petra thought, mopping away the last of the dirt from the stables. I don’t care how but I’m going to make it look like an accident.

Petra was furious.

Putting her anger on the mop she had gripped in her fist she aggressively wiped the stable floors clean, but her thoughts were somewhere else. Y/N L/N was the reason why she was stuck cleaning the stables during a Friday night when she could’ve spent the day in the market with Oluo buying cute clothes or enjoying a new café or getting drunk or just about anything. 

Petra loved her friend but no matter which way Petra tried to twist the situation, Y/N was the sole reason to blame. Y/N was the one who suggested getting drunk in her room that night, Y/N was the one who suggested the game, Y/N was the one who proposed the punishment, and Y/N was the one who called her a pussy for backing out, so of course Petra had to do it. Petra had to run through the hallway, from the stairway and back to the room naked. 

It didn’t help that Y/N’s room was the farthest room from the stairwell. Petra didn’t have a problem getting naked around Y/N and their friends- they’ve seen each other’s bodies enough with the communal showers and the occasional first aid outside the walls. Petra isn’t ashamed of her own body either, she may look petite but she was hardened muscle from all the training she endured to become the one of the best. Though Y/N had her own private room as one of the Survey Corps’ Section Commander, her floor was also near the other superior’s private spaces. 

Once Petra made it out, she dashed to the stairs as fast as she could before turning back and running like there was a titan behind her to the privacy and safety of Y/N’s room. Until Hange, Levi and Mike came out of Erwin’s room from their own private party only to stare at Petra like she was a dog with three heads. 

Petra could’ve died right there. In fact, she would have preferred it if she did. Hange laughed (“Oh, it’s one of those nights, eh?), Levi looked away with disgust evident in his face and walked to another laughing Y/N, who witnessed the entire incident, instead. Mike just stood there with his brain probably short circuiting and nose occasionally twitching. To make matters worse, Erwin came outside to see what Hange was laughing about.

I’m gonna kill her, Petra thought, mopping away the last of the dirt from the stables. I don’t care how but I’m going to make it look like an accident.

Petra looked up from her hard work and wiped her forehead. She smelled like horse shit and probably looked like one too. A few yards away from her clean stable stood Y/N and Eren together under the sun with Mikasa not so far running towards them.

Petra watched as Mikasa hastily put herself between Y/N and Eren with a glare on her face. Was it really a glare or was it just Mikasa’s usual stoic face? Petra didn’t care- a plan was slowly starting to form in her head. 

-

Petra didn’t bother rushing to the cafeteria to get first in line like she usually would. Instead she ate some heavy snacks before and took her time. Thinking back, Y/N was the only one out of her superiors to sit on another table other than the space designated for them. She usually sat with Eren, with Levi occasionally joining them. 

Once she strolled inside, the place was packed with soldiers along with hundreds of conversations going on at the same time. Perfect. Just as she planned. Just as she thought, Y/N and Eren were chatting away alone on one table with Mikasa several tables away shooting them looks every now and then.

Petra smiled. Victory tastes so sweet. She slowed down her steps and savored her way to victory as she walked over to Mikasa. “Oi, Mikasa.” she said obnoxiously loud, gathering the attention of several people.

Mikasa turned her head from Eren and Y/N’s table, and stared at her with her cold gray eyes. “Yes, Petra?”

Petra giggled, unable to keep her mood down. “Y’know, Y/N told me a secret.” She said, voice getting louder with every word.

Behind her, Petra heard Y/N speak. “Done from the stables, darling?”

Faint snickers from around the hall erupted. No doubt the story has already gone around. Petra felt a nerve in her head pop. That almost got her. Almost. 

Ignoring the rest of the people, Mikasa kept her eyes on her. “What did she say?”

She crouched down and put a hand on her cheek like she was about to whisper. “She told me that she loves Eren, very, very much.”

Silence. 

Utter silence. 

From the corner of her eye she sees that Sasha had a spoon halfway through her mouth filled with seconds of today’s dinner, while Jean and Connie’s eyes were darting back and forth to her and Y/N, who had gone up from her seat and was walking towards her.

Petra stood back and let herself smile a truly evil smile. That’s what you get, Y/N. You bitch. To be honest, Y/N was probably going to beat her up. Petra didn’t care. She could try if Mikasa won’t get to her first.

Mikasa blinked. “Well, I sure hope so. Eren and I love her just as much.”

Wait- “What?” 

That wasn’t the reaction she was expecting.

“Oi, oi, Mikasa. You’re going to make your mother cry. I’ve never heard you speak like that before.” Y/N clasped a hand on Petra’s shoulder. Y/N had this smirk as if asking oh is this what you planned?

Huh, wait- “Mother? You mean-”

At the same time, Mikasa looked at Y/N. “Okasan, I have told you I loved you many times.”

“What do you mean okasan- are you-?” Petra turned her head to Y/N. 

Y/N leaned shifted her weight on one leg and crossed her arms. She was smiling, probably enjoying Petra’s confusion. “Yes. I am.”

“But-” Petra stuttered. “Eren too?”

“Yes.” Y/N laughed. Petra should’ve been furious, but at this point she was too focused on solving this familial situation she accidentally uncovered. Plus, everyone was listening in. They were curious too.

Petra shoved her hands in her hair. “They’re siblings?”

“Well, I thought we’ve established that before.” Y/N replied. 

“But I thought- Mikasa was charging at you because you were with Eren just a while ago!” 

Y/N deflated. “Oh, that. I was scolding the brat. He was reckless during the last expedition again. You’d remember, you were the one who saved him.” Fuck. Yes, Petra remembered very well. She almost lost her right hand because of that boy. “Mikasa just came over to protect her brother. I might’ve gone overboard too…”

“Then why isn’t Mikasa sitting with you?”

“Oh, I’ve been encouraging her to interact with people other than family. She barely has friends, y’know.”

“Don’t they have different last names?” Petra asked. She was losing her sanity. 

“What, Jeager? L/N was my dad’s. Jeager my mother’s name, I had him when I was young. And, well, technically, Mikasa isn’t mine by blood.” Y/N sat down beside the girl and slung her arm around Mikasa. “She came with my marriage. She’s still my daughter though.” Petra saw Mikasa hide a smile under her scarf.

“Married?” Petra asked. “You’re married?”

“Yup,” Y/N replied, popping her words. “When are you and Oluo gonna tie the knot, by the way-”

Petra couldn't even be bothered to blush at the question. She saw Oluo choke on his food from their usual table though. “Is he in the military?” 

“Yes. We met years before he was in the military though.”

“Is he in the Survey Corps?”

Y/N grinned. “Yes.”

“Is he a superior officer?”

Y/N’s smile grew wider. “Yes.”

Petra felt dread creep down her spine. “Is it Commander Smith?” If Petra really did just try to call out the commander’s wife in front of everyone, she’s dead meat. She’s probably gonna clean the stables on Fridays forever. 

To her relief Y/N said, “Pssh, Mikasa isn’t blonde y’know.”

Petra was losing her patience. “Then who the fuck is it-”

“They literally have the same last name Petra.”

Silence.

Only this time, Petra wasn’t smiling. Her brain was probably overheated from all the information Y/N gave her.

“Oi, Petra” said Levi who was coming inside the cafeteria. “What the hell is going on?”

“Captain!” She squeaked, not expecting his voice. Perfect timing too. 

“Don’t tease her anymore, Levi. It’s my fault, I was just telling her about our familial situation.” Y/N said. 

“Tch,” Levi lightly slapped Y/N at the back of her head. “What happened to keeping it a secret?” 

“Oh, well, they were bound to know anyway. Your son over there can’t keep his mouth shut, I’m surprised he lasted this long.” Y/N nodded to Eren back to her table while the latter hid his face on the table, occasionally banging his fist on the wood. “Though I didn’t expect them to find out this way though...and the entire Survey Corps for that matter.”

“You’ve caused us a nuisance.” Levi deadpanned at Y/N- at his wife? Petra was still trying to comprehend everything.

“Let’s go home.” Levi announced, heading out of the cafeteria. “I can’t stand to be stared at any longer. It’s making me feel like a pig with fucking wings.”

At the words of their Captain- Father?- Mikasa and Eren stood up and picked up their empty food trays. 

Oh, that's right. Petra knew that Y/N and Levi had a separate house somewhere near their HQ; she just didn’t even consider the possibility that they were living together. Fuck, she has seen them leaving too, but she just assumed that they were walking each other because they lived in the same neighborhood or something. 

Petra even spotted Mikasa and Y/N together in the market shopping for vegetables, but she thought it was only a kind gesture. Y/N can be like that sometimes. She even spotted Eren and Levi inside a cleaning shop when she was buying a new mop once. And Mikasa and Levi’s surnames? Petra didn’t even suspect anything because it was common knowledge in the Corps that two of their strongest soldiers had the same last name- had none of them suspected anything?

Looking around, Petra spotted similar confused faces like her own. Ah, so no one did. 

She felt her legs give up on her and plopped on the seat Mikasa previously sat on. She watched as Levi, Y/N, and their children walked out the cafeteria with a blank stare. What the fuck just happened? 

btww,,,the vibe of reader and petra here are like really close friends that tease each other a lot. i can understand why people think that petra seems like the “villain” here but i swear its just that kind of friendship 😭 im sorry if it didnt deliver properly but ill try better next time !!

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #snk levi #levi ackerman

[itsallyscorner]

Shapes In The Clouds

Request: can I request a Sebastian x reader (age gap) where he proposes?

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings: nun

A/n: Reposting because tumblr wants to be a lil bitch and not put my posts under the tag🙄 Hope you like it lovely, I’m so sorry for the long wait!💛

(Source: Pinterest)

You were a simple girl. You didn’t need anything extravagant or too loud just to appreciate something. You found joy in the smallest of things even if it was a bad situation you found the brighter side of things. You didn’t like being the center of attention. Honestly it terrified you if all the attention were on you. The eyes of everyone on you watching your every move made you want to sink into the floor and hide away from it all. You were quiet but you weren’t shy, your personality was the epitome of sunshine, as Sebastian would say.

Weirdly enough you ended up being the girlfriend of an actor. The opposite of everything you avoided. He had a different lifestyle. Movie sets, red carpets, bright lights, and parties were what his life consisted of. While yours was made up of offices, magazines, cups of coffees, and sleepless nights of endless work. Thankfully, Seb was one of the private ones. Yes, he was active on social media but that didn’t mean he shared every second of his life on Instagram.

Soon the messages turned into dates, and the dates turned into overnight stays at each other’s apartments. Now a year and a half later you two are living together in a homey apartment in the hidden streets of Manhattan.

You heard the sheets rustle as the human furnace beside you shifted in the bed. The arm resting on your chest tightened its grip around you, pulling you closer to their body. A content sigh left the body beside you.

“Sebba.” You groggily mumble, sleep still evident in your voice. You interlaced your fingers with his, cuddling his arm.

“Buna dimineata iubirea mea.” He greeted you with his morning voice that you were oh so fond of. You lazily giggle and turn in his grip, snuggling into his chest. A low chuckle emitted from his chest as he breathed in your familiar scent mixed with your shampoo. The scent together made him feel like he was home. You are his home.

“Don’t go jogging today.” You tangle your limbs with his and made sure to hang onto him like a sloth.

“Give me a good reason not to.”

“I’ll cuddle the fuck out of you.” You finally open your eyes and rub the sleep out of them. You were greeted with Sebastian’s crooked smile and his steel blue eyes. His hand reaches to brush some hair away from your face, his hand settles itself on your cheek.

“Hmm, I don’t know.” He feigns a thoughtful look as if he were debating with his options. Jogging or cuddling? Although Sebastian had other plans besides jogging or cuddling.

“But you’re a huge softie when it comes to my cuddles.” You stare up at him with puppy eyes. Sebastian nuzzles his nose against yours before answering, “I am, but I have other plans for today.”

“Like what?” You ask sitting up, “Today’s not an anniversary or something…right?”

“No, it’s not don’t worry.” He assures you. But it will be, Sebastian thought to himself.

You move to sit on his lap. Naturally, Sebastian shifts and rests his hands around your waist, his palms press against your lower back as he gazes up at you.

“Well, what did you have in plan, babe?” You ask threading your fingers into his hair. Sebastian hums in content.

“How about we pick up some food from that cafe you’ve been wanting to try near Central Park and have a picnic?” He suggests with hopeful eyes. He really hoped you would agree to his plan.

“Ooo, I haven’t been on a picnic in a while now. Let’s do it, I’m down.” You instantly perk up at the mention of a picnic. You missed being outside and sitting on the grass eating while admiring the view.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence.

“I guess that means we should get up now, huh?” Sebastian scrunches his nose.

“One more minute.” He mutters pulling you down so your head is resting in the crook of his neck.

“Make it two.”

🕗 Time Skip

You and Sebastian walked hand in hand on the streets of NY. The weather was perfect. There was a nice autumn breeze and it wasn’t too cold nor too hot. Sebastian knew this was your favorite kind of weather. Only because you got to wear knitted sweaters, ankle boots, and one of his jackets that were quite big on you.

The two of you walked towards the park. A bag of pastries in one of your hands and a tray of iced coffees in Seb’s free hand. When you guys finally found a secluded spot to sit at, Sebastian took out a blanket from his backpack. You guys sat across each other on the blanket, the pastries and coffees in between you two.

You open the bag and pull out a pain au chocolat (basically a chocolate croissant) from the variety of pastries. Holding it up to Sebastian’s mouth you ask, “You want first bite?”

He answers by opening his mouth wide and taking a huge bite. He moans as he chewed.

“Holy shit, that’s good.” You decide to take a bite yourself. When the buttery flakes of the croissant mixed with the chocolate filling entered your mouth it was like pure Heaven.

“Oh, wow.” Sebastian took an iced coffee out from the tray and gave it shake. He takes a straw out of the bag and pokes it into the lid. He held the cup up to you and motioned for you to take a sip. You hum in delight as you take the coffee from his hands. The next few minutes consisted of the two of you eating breakfast, feeding each other food, or wiping crumbs off the other’s face.

The pastries were now long gone. The two of you laid back on the blanket. Your head was against his chest and his arm was wrapped around your shoulder. You listened to his steady heartbeat as you two pointed out shapes in the clouds. Though his heartbeat began to quicken as you pointed at a specific cloud.

“Hey, that one looks like a ring!” You laugh as you point at the cloud. Sebastian freezes at the mention of a ring. His eyes widen for a millisecond before he regains himself.

“Where do you see that?” You gently place your hand on his chin to navigate his attention towards the cloud.

“Look, there’s the band and then there’s the diamond!” You trace out the shapes with your finger. Sebastian feels his breath get deeper and his hands getting clammy.

This was a sign from the universe that you should do this NOW, he thought to himself.

He pats his jean pocket to see if the box that held forever was still there. He let out a sigh of relief and adjusted himself so he was sitting up. While doing so he sat you up so you were sitting across from him.

“Funny you mention a ring.” He chuckles as he lovingly gazed into your eyes. A smile was on your face but the questionable look on you had was obvious. Sebastian takes your hand in his and runs his thumb across the top of it. He brings your hand up to his soft lips, his scruff tickling your fingers as he presses a kiss on it.

“I love you.” He began eyes admiring the different aspects of your face. “I love you so damn much.”

You laugh as you pat his cheek, “I love you too, baby. What’s going on?”

Sebastian takes both your hands into his.

“You are, the greatest thing that has happened to me. Sure, I’ve been in big movies and have a successful career. But that can all go away one day. One thing that I know for sure is that you won’t. For the last two years you’ve been the only constant in my life. You’ve stuck with me through thick and thin. You’ve been so patient and understanding with me and my horrendous schedules. Even when people hated on us for our differences, you didn’t give up on us. You’re the most amazing, beautiful, and talented woman I’ve ever met. I admire you and everything about you. Every little thing you do, that little nose scrunch, the way you hang onto me like a koala, everything.” Sebastian pauses as a nervous chuckle emits from his chest. You look at him in awe, tears forming in your eyes.

“You deserve the absolute world. I don’t know how I got lucky to deserve someone like you. I know this is a really shitty way of doing it but I just couldn’t help myself. I can’t hold it in any longer. I want all of you, for the rest of my life, if you’ll have me.” Tears are full on streaming down your face as Seb briefly lets go of your hands to get the box out of his pocket. He wipes the tears from his eyes to see you clearly.

“Wait, stand up. I have to at least do this part properly.” He helps you up to your feet as he kneels before you on one knee. He opens the infamous blue box from Tiffany’s. A store you’ve been fond of after watching Audrey Hepburn’s Breakfast At Tiffany’s. The box reveals a ring with a fairly large diamond that shone in the sunlight.

You wipe the tears from your face as you look down at him. Sebastian’s eyes shone in the light as they held your gaze. With one hand in his, he asked you, “(y/n) (m/n) (l/n), will you marry me?”

You immediately nod your head as you move to cradle his face in your hands.

“Yeah. Yes! Oh my god, yes, I’ll marry you!” You lean down as you bring his face closer to yours. Your lips meet in the middle. Time stopping when they touched, as he pulled you down for a passionate kiss, ignoring the taste of the salty tears that ran down your faces. You pull away for air, Sebastian quickly pecks your lips before you’re out of arms length.

He takes your left hand and slides the ring onto your ring finger. The ring fits you perfectly.

“I can’t believe you’re my fiancé oh my god!” You say in disbelief as you wrap your arms around Sebastian.

“Me either. I finally did it.” Sebastian says, mostly to himself. He’s been holding onto that ring for two months now, it’s about time he popped the question.

You lovingly stroke his cheek as your other arm is draped around his shoulder.

“Te iubesc mult.” You whisper against his lips, a smile making its way on your face. Sebastian’s smile grows even more when he hears you speak in his native language.

“Si eu te iubesc.” He replies as he smiles fondly at you.

“Also, are you crazy, Tiffany’s? Seb, that’s so expensive, I would’ve been fine with something else!” You scold him lightly smacking his chest. Sebastian chuckles as his arms squeeze you into his chest.

“I don’t care. You deserve the best.”

“As long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters.”

translations

Buna dimineata iubirea mea - Good morning my love

Te iubesc mult - I love you a lot

Si eu te iubesc - I love you too

#ally’s requests #marvel #mcu #avengers #Bucky barnes #winter soldier #james buchanan barnes #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan oneshot #sebastian stan headcanons #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fan fiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #marvel cast x reader