#until you ask me to make you baked potato soup

[vurelly]

listen i cannot cook but i can apparently make a bussin soup that i will not shut the fuck up about for days

#vu talks shit #im having the best day ever #i am a pathetic little wet boy #until you ask me to make you baked potato soup

[najia-cooks]

Hey Najia! I love this blog so much! I have a question. I find cooking pretty difficult sometimes. I'm chronically ill and also the kitchen stresses me out a bit because I'm very scatterbrained and there's knives and fire and stuff. I also fuck things up in the kitchen pretty easy. Are there any recipes on here you find particularly easy to make? That you'd recommend for when you just cannot be arsed? Hope you're having a wonderful day, I know it's your birthday 😄🎉

Thank you!

I can understand your stress—cooking can involve things that are objectively dangerous and also time-sensitive. I'd recommend:

Try recipes where you don't have to come into direct contact with the blades you use. Some Indian dals, for example, cook lentils in a sauce made from blended onion, tomato, and garlic; you could process them using a food processor or blender. A lot of things (fresh salsa, guacamole, a duqqa of garlic, chilies, and spices that you can throw in to cook with some lentils) can be prepared in a mortar and pestle, too.

I've never used one, but a vegetable chopper might help in a similar way that a food processor would, by reducing the amount of knifework that you have to do. There are a lot of recipes where a chopped onion is the only knifework required.

Also try recipes that are cooked in the oven, and not on the stovetop. Something that gets thrown into the oven on low heat to cook (like a casserole or fukharat dish) takes longer, but is more hands-off, than something that's cooked on the stove.

Do all of your prep work first. Read through the recipe and see what chopping, blending &c. needs to be done, prep each ingredient, and put it in its own little bowl. This includes anything in the ingredients list that says "1 onion, diced" or similar: do that right off the bat. If the recipe says "meanwhile" or asks you to do prep for anything while anything else is cooking, you might choose to disregard that and do all the prep first, depending on how long the cook time is and how much attention it needs (e.g., soup on a low simmer for half an hour can pretty much be left alone; anything in a frying pan cannot). This way you won't be rushing to chop anything quickly while worrying that something else is going to overcook.

Look for vegetables, like broccoli / cauliflower / romanesco and green beans, that can be broken up with your hands rather than chopped. Rip up cilantro and parsley rather than chopping them.

Admittedly "simple" is not the guiding principle of this blog, but here are some recipes that I think could be easily adapted:

Fukharat l3des: just one onion to chop. Cooked on low heat in the oven.

Fried tofu sandwich: just mixing sauces and spices. You can skip coating the tofu in cornstarch and frying it. Instead try freezing the whole block, thawing it, cutting into two or four pieces, and then marinating it in a plastic bag with your sauce overnight. Then bake the tofu for 15-20 minutes, turning once, at 350 °F (180 °C).

Roasted celery and potato soup: requires only very rough chopping; the cooking methods are baking and simmering. The fried tempering could be skipped by just adding those ingredients into the simmer earlier.

Carrot salad or chickpea salad or tapenade: you could throw all of the ingredients in a food processor.

Moroccan lentils: just an onion and tomato to grate or process.

Kashmiri lal chaman: the only thing you need to cut is tofu; the gravy is just water and spices. You could bake the tofu instead of frying it.

Black bean burgers: no chopping or frying if you omit the onion and carrot and elect to bake the finished patties.

'Chicken' and olive tajine: the marinade is blended or pounded, and there is no other prepwork to do other than chopping one onion. Everything can be simmered on low heat until cooked, so it's pretty hands-off.

Chana pulao: mostly rice, chickpeas, and spices. Some aromatic prep, but you could crush instead of chopping those.

Romanesco quiche: no knifework at all if you omit the aromatics and break aprt the romanesco with your hands.

Spanish garlic mushrooms: just crush garlic instead of slicing and buy pre-sliced mushrooms. There is frying, though.

Eggplant cooked salad: the eggplant is broiled and then spooned out. No knifework required if you use tomato puree.

Butternut squash soup: just roasting and simmering. No knifework required if you omit the aromatics and buy pre-cubed squash.

Dishes with a base of lentils, chickpeas, beans, rice, and/or noodles are great because there's no knifework that needs to be done to prepare the beans &c. themselves.

#newsreaderyaoi

[fandom-blackhole]

hi, i really liked your work in ao3, so i’d like to request about joel where reader is pregnant and she’s freaking out a bit about telling joel, afraid he’s not going to take the new well, mostly cause of his traumas, but also cause it’s not a safe environment to raise a kid. thank you!

So sorry this took me absolutely forever to get to my lovely, school has been super busy for me! But I'm so happy that you liked my other Joel works and came over here send a request <3 I hope you like this!!

WC: 3.6K (this one got away from me woops)

Warnings: afab!reader, pregnancy, set in Jackson, no real spoilers (that i noticed), one cuss word, mentions of doubts and intrusive thoughts over the pregnancy, very unedited (i am tired and i am sure there are a ton of mistakes sorry)

When the sickness first started you chalked it up to food poisoning from the twenty some year old can of Cambell’s baked potato soup you had found and eaten while out on a three day supply run. Joel had warned you about eating it, but you had been too excited over the soup and the nostalgic memories of before the outbreak that it brought with it. So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when two days later as you were hunched over the toilet, Joel rubbed your back gently and waited until after you were finished and he passed you a glass of water, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the door frame and sighed, “Told you not to eat that soup.”

You had only huffed at him and lifted your hand, motioning for help, to which Joel helped you up off the floor and helped you to bed. He left you there with your glass of water and a small trash can, but not before he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead and whispered, “Rest up. I’ll come check up on ya in a few hours.”

Of course when a week passed and you were still running from bed each morning, Joel insisted you visit the doctor in town. You pushed back at first, saying that it was probably just the flu, it was that time of year right before winter fully sets in and the weather bounced from warm and cold and almost everyone had at least the sniffles. Joel, however, kept pushing and eventually he won out after a particularly rough day where you could barely hold down water and you couldn’t handle Joel’s worried glances anymore.

So the next morning, before he left for his patrol, Joel walked you to the building downtown that had long been converted into a doctor’s office. The whole walk there Joel kept fretting over you.

“You sure you’ll make it back home alright? I can ask Maria to come and walk you back when she’s finished, or have her grab Ellie to do it.”

”I’ll be fine. I swear you act like I am gonna walk out of there knocking on death’s door.”

Joel of course gives you an exasperated look as the two of you turn the corner to the main hub of Jackson that was downtown and he gives a huff before saying, “You just have me worried. I’ve never seen you this sick and you haven’t been getting any better. It’s been two weeks, you should be getting better by now.”

“Joel, I really think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here,” you reply to his worry, trying to reassure him just a little, but as he opens the door for you to enter the doctor’s office he just shakes his head while looking at the ground. When he meets your eyes again, he says with full seriousness, “I don’t think you ‘re taking this serious enough. Maybe I should stay an’ make sure you don’t downplay everything.”

At that you take a step forward towards Joel and stick a finger on his chest with your eyebrows raised.

“Oh no, you are going to go do your patrol with Tommy. I can do this like an adult,” you pause and meet Joel’s hazel gaze, reading into his worry with a sigh, “and I promise I will tell the doc the whole truth, leaving nothing out. You aren’t going to lose me to something as small as the flu Joel Miller, you’re stuck with me.”

That earned you a small quirk of Joel’s lips, before he sighed again before nodding. You gave him a small smile back and pressed a kiss to Joel’s nose before whispering a goodbye and walking into the doctor’s office.

---

Well, Joel was right it would seem. It wasn’t the flu like you had assumed. You weren’t even sure how to wrap your head around what the doctor had come in and told you. He had told you that he ran the test twice just to be sure, but both had come back positive. You were pregnant and there was no doubt in your mind whose child it was.

You didn’t mean to start crying, but once it started you couldn’t stop, the tears cascading down your cheeks as your shoulders shook with silent gasping sobs. Your doctor held you, letting your tears soak his shoulder as he ran a comforting hand up and down your back. From his reaction, you doubt this is the first time he’s comforted someone with news like this, afterall who wants to bring new life into a world like the one surrounding you now, it wasn’t a safe environment for children. 

Once you had calmed, the doctor pulled away and with a gentle voice started giving you the pregnancy spiel- avoid this, don’t drink that, try to eat more of this. All of it was a blur in your mind, shock clouding your thoughts. The doctor told you he estimated that you were about six or seven weeks in, which is when morning sickness tended to make an appearance. So he gave you a bottle of multivitamins to start taking as well as a chamomile and ginger tea that is supposed to help the nausea. He also gave you a small bag of honey and mint candies, saying he was a little worried about your lack of calorie and fluid intake over the last week, telling you to drink the tea and try and suck on a few candies until you thought you could hold down actual food. 

As you got ready to leave, your tote of goodies, as the nurse had called it, slung over your shoulder, the doctor gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a small smile telling you, “Try not to worry too much, you’re in the best spot in the whole country to be going through something like this, and you aren’t alone, you have a whole town at your back. Not to mention the hardest fighter in town beside you.”

You returned his smile, though your’s was hollow and full of worry, and nodded. You wished the doctor and the nurse a good week and walked home, not stopping until you were alone in your bathroom sobbing as you slid down the wall in your shower.

---

Weeks passed and your nausea and morning sickness eased with the help of the tea which you drank in the mornings, smiling over the rim of your mug as Joel drank his coffee, always offering you some and you always declining. He never seemed any suspicious of your condition. He believed you that evening when you had told him a lie, told him that you had been right, that the doctor said it had been the flu making you sick. He didn’t question you when in the mornings after saying you were better you still drank the tea telling him you had really liked it and just didn’t want it to go to waste, when in reality you were still waking up with a queasy stomach each morning.

You aren’t completely sure why you continued to hide the pregnancy for Joel. He didn’t say it much, but he had told you that he loved you, he showed it to you almost daily through small things like bringing you fresh eggs when you mentioned a craving for cookies but you were missing that one ingredient, how he brought home you favorite food from the dining hall once you were finally able to hold down food again, how he surprised you with a gift yesterday- a small wooden bird carving he’d started for you when he noticed you’d been feeling down. He loved you, you knew this, and you loved him, but you were terrified of telling him. What if it changed how he felt? What if he didn’t take the news well?

You should know to ignore these doubts, you really should, but they cloud your thoughts anyway. Joel had already been through so much with his daughter, Sarah, and his adoptive daughter, Ellie. He’d long since confided both of their stories to you, he had told you how the death of his daughter had shattered him and how his cross country trip with Ellie had broken him back down once more. What if the pregnancy brought up all the bad memories and traumas for him? What if it was too much for him to go through the process of raising, caring, and protecting another kid?

That’s not even mentioning your own personal worries of the pregnancy. You knew Jackson was one of the safest places left, but that doesn’t mean that it is completely safe from the outside world. The town often had enough raids from hunters to remind you of that fact, and the hordes of infected wandering up north and getting closer to town were of no comfort to these worries either. And what about all the possible complications? Things could always go south and put you at risk. You could die giving birth, the baby could die, both of you could die. You both could end up as just another name on Joel’s list of loss. You didn’t want to be another source of pain for him, you didn’t want to hurt the man you loved like that. 

So you don’t tell him. You continue to smile at him over the rim of your mug each morning. You continue to live your life around Jackson like nothing is different and you live in fear of the day you can no longer hide yourself from the man you love.

---

Months pass and you continue working. You continued patrols with Joel and you kept putting on the facade that everything was fine and like there wasn’t a constant fight going on in your head. Joel of course ever observant gave you worried looks like he could see through your mask, but never brought it up nor asked you what was troubling you. It was tearing you apart being the only one that knew and unable to bring yourself to say anything. 

The nausea and morning sickness started to fade around the three month mark and you were truly overjoyed to not be waking up feeling ill each morning. But of course there had to be a downside. You only got another two weeks without the morning sickness before you noticed the thing that was going to be your undoing. 

You had been pulling on your jeans, getting ready for the day’s patrol- one of the longer routes and you’d be accompanied by both Joel and Tommy- only when it got to buttoning them, you couldn’t. You’d noticed them getting a little tight, but had hoped that you’d have more time. Luck had never been on your side however, so as you struggled with the button you could feel your heart in your throat as your panic started to take ahold of you. 

After several minutes you gave up, knowing your struggle was going to stay fruitless. Looking around your room for a solution, you paused on your spare pair of boots. As quickly as possible you dethreaded both sets of shoelaces and slipped them through your jean’s belt loops as many times as possible before tying the sides together and zipping the jeans closed as much as you could. 

After shoving your boots that still had their laces on, you raced downstairs and rushed out an apology as you slipped your coat on, the weather still holding its chill.

“Sorry I couldn’t find my warm sweater. Let’s go before Tommy starts complaining about us holding him up.”

Joel just shook his head with a fond smile, holding your bag out for you to take as you passed to leave the house. 

The walk to the front gate was quiet, the morning sun just gracing the horizon as you rubbed your hands together and slipped them into your pockets for your gloves which you hurriedly pulled on. Like you had predicted, once you reached the gate, Tommy stood next to his horse with his arms crossed and he spoke up as you and Joel approached, “What took you both so long? Coulda slept in in my nice warm bed if I’d known you’d be late.”

You rolled your eyes as Joel helped you up onto your horse and he replied, “Someone couldn’t find their warm sweater even though it was hanging right there in the closet.”

Gasping, you nudged Joel’s shoulder with the toe of your boot as he walked away, grumbling, “Just throw me under the bus why don’t you. See if I agree to go on anymore patrols with you two.”

Tommy laughs as he swings onto his own horse before leading the three of you out of Jackson and out towards your path for the day.

The three of you travel in silence for a little bit, you yourself enjoying listening to the early morning bird songs. Once you all get to the first sign-in point, you all take the chance for a pause and a stretch. You walk around the converted home, stopping to look through the bay window in one of the upstairs bedrooms. The room was clearly a kid’s room, the walls painted with fields and a barn and farmhouse surrounded by houses, cattle, chickens, and bison. The bed one of those that grew with a kid, going from cradle to toddler bed. Toys and stuffies long forgotten and scattered around the room. You leaned down and picked one up, a weathered build-a-bear wearing a pair of faux denim overalls and a red handkerchief. Gently you wiped the dirt and dust off the eyes, letting the black plastic shine once again. 

Without realizing it, one of your hands drifted down to lay on your lower abdomen as you swallowed heavily and your eyes start to water. But you don’t get too far, as a soft knock on the door behind you brings you back. Turning, you find Joel looking over you, eyes slightly worried as he holds out a small pack of dried fruit. You give him a small smile and set the bear down on the bed before grabbing the food, noticing the hand on your stomach, quickly laughing and patting the hand there saying, “You must have heard my stomach growl downstairs.”

Taking your lead Joel gave you a grin replying, “Thought there was a runner up here from all the noise it was making.”

You huffed a laugh, kissing Joel’s cheek as you walked back downstairs and let out a sigh of thanks to whoever let you get away that easily with such a terrible lie. But you didn’t dwell on it, the three of you hopping onto your horses and setting out on the trail once more. 

As you went this time, Joel and Tommy passed the time with conversation. You though just listened to them, eating the fruit Joel had given you and occasionally adding little input when prompted. 

Tommy made mention that the meat stores were running a little low and he’d been asked to try and catch a deer if he could. That led the two down a conversation over how the food stores as a whole were doing and if there needed to be any supply runs anytime soon. You however zoned out at this knowing they would probably get wrapped up in the conversation. Instead you looked around as you rode, both to keep an eye out for anything and to keep your mind busy. Not that it worked as your mind drifted.

You were starting to show and while it wasn’t too noticeable right now, it would only be a matter of time before nothing fit and you’d be forced to tell Joel, or he’d figure it all out himself. At this point you're worried over his anger at being left in the dark over this for so long as well, adding to the number of worries you already held. The doctor had told you on your last check up that all your stress and worrying was causing your blood pressure to raise and that worried him. He had urged you to take a break, to try and relax but you couldn’t, not when relaxing meant your thoughts would be given more time to circle and bring you more stress and worry. You just wished all of this would disappear, that everything was fine and you only had to worry about the usual things like hunters and infected. You hated yourself for it, because you had truly not wanted it, but in the beginning you had hoped and prayed that something would happen, that this would go away and you wouldn’t have to tell Joel. But here you are and you should have known that this child being part Joel meant it wasn’t going to give up, that it was going to be there no matter how hard they had to fight, and fuck did you already love the little devil, but the worry it brought left you breaking apart. 

Hearing your name shouted pulled you from your thoughts. Jerking your head you met Joel’s worried and confused look as he said, “Come on, Tommy is gonna go start a fire for us all to warm up an’ I spotted some deer tracks so you an’ me are gonna go see if we can find anything…..you good?”

Looking around, you noticed the three of you had reached the next sign in spot on the patrol route while you had been lost in your thoughts. Turning back to Joel you nodded before sliding from your horse and tying her up.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just got a little lost in thought. Sorry.”

Joel just nodded slowly, his worried look not leaving, before he nodded his head to the right, saying, “The tracks lead this way.”

You nod, and grab your rifle from your shoulder, and start to follow after him, watching the tracks as the two of you go. It didn’t take long to catch up to the deer, the pretty female gazing on an open patch of grass only a fifteen minute or so walk from where you both had left Tommy and the horses. Quietly, both you and Joel looked through your scopes that the deer as she slowly stepped and ate at the patch of grass. You had had a clear shot, and were about to take it, knowing Joel’s own was blocked by a thin tree in front of him, but you paused when you saw movement next to her and that’s when you saw the small fauntling clinging close to its mother’s legs.

For some reason all of your worries came to a head as you saw the two together, and your hands shook as you put your rifle down. Joel turned to you confused as he had yet to notice the baby, so you just turned to him and shook your head and pressed your fingers to your lips before pointing to the deer and cradling your arms, signing to him that she had a baby with her. Joel took another quick look and sighed, putting his rifle down as well when he finally saw the fawn. 

The two of you started back to Tommy to tell him that the prints had been a dead end, but halfway back you couldn’t help but pause, and say, “Do you ever feel jealous of them?”

Confused, Joel turned to look at you where you stood and shook his head as he said, “What?”

You sigh and refuse to meet his eyes as you motion back to where the deer were, clearing your throat.

“The animals. Do you ever get jealous over how they aren’t chased after like we are, how they can’t turn into monsters that become murderous and hunt down the rest of their species? They just have to worry about running fast enough away from those of us that are living so they don’t become some terribly seasoned stew.”

Joel takes a step towards you, reaching a hand out to cup your shoulder, and says your name, “Where is this coming from? Does this have to do with what’s had you so stressed lately?”

You opened your mouth to reply, to brush it all away and just say nevermind, that it didn’t matter it was only a thought, but you met Joel’s eyes, the hazel swirling with concern and his voice laced with the need to help. In that moment every reply is lost to your tongue and your eyes swell with tears as you utter the words you’d been so terrified to share.

“Joel, I’m pregnant.”

The seconds ticked like hours as you realized you finally let the truth slip. As you watched the emotions filter over Joel’s face. Surprise, confusion, worry….wonder. His eyes danced around your figure as a single tear finally slipped.

“You’re sure?”

You nodded choppily and you gave him a timid smile.

“Yeah…turns out you were right months ago, it was never the flu,” you paused, taking a shuddering breath before continuing, “I…. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I-I just didn’t know how and my head kept fueling all these ‘what ifs’ around my thoughts and I just didn’t know how to handle it but god I should have told you and I am sorry.”

Gently, Joel cupped your face and wiped away the tears that had fallen as you apologized. He looked at you like you had just whispered to him the secret cure to the infection, one that didn’t involve Ellie. 

Joel’s eyes bounced between your own as he asked, “How far….how far along are you?”

“Almost three and a half months,” you reply, your stress slowly fading to the background and slipping away.

Joel, as if he could see all of your doubts over the last three months, looks you right in the eye as he says, “You don’t have to worry anymore. Nothing will happen to either of you, not under my watch.”

Have an idea or headcannon you want written for Joel? My askbox is open! Feel free to send it to me! Thanks for reading and check out my other Joel fics! <3

Masterlist

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader

[elisela]

an introvert's guide to falling in love on thanksgiving derek x stiles, g, fluff, thanksgiving, 1.6k for @nerdy-stilinski ... just barely getting this up in time haha

.

It’s not that Derek doesn’t like being charitable; it’s that Derek doesn’t like people. What he does like is cooking, which is why, every Thanksgiving morning since high school, he’s found a reason to make himself useful in the kitchen and just …. not leave.

All day. 

Slowly, throughout college and grad school, he was put in charge of more and more of the meal, until the only thing he wasn’t responsible for was the appetizers his mother set out early and kept refreshing throughout the day. He has his timeline down to a science at this point, though the menu has evolved over the years to keep up with the guests his mother invites and the new additions always necessitate some last-minute juggling. He starts with the soups a full week in advance; butternut squash and split pea, made in huge proportions and kept frozen until the night before. Same with the gravy, though he’ll add in drippings for extra flavor just before it’s served. He preps the casseroles the day before and lets them sit until the morning, bakes at least half a dozen pies, and usually goes to bed the night before already exhausted for what’s to come.

But as tiring as it all is, he’ll gladly do it when the alternative is mixing with a bunch of college students he doesn’t know, all of whom don’t have another place to go for the holidays. The kitchen, at least, is his refuge.

A refuge that’s invaded far too quickly the next morning.

He hears the humming first; he’s been able to tune out most of the conversations since he was a teenager, though the more repetitive and annoying noises tend to break through occasionally. And while the humming is definitely repetitive, it doesn’t alarm him until it gets closer, closer, and abruptly turns into a low whistle at the threshold of the kitchen. 

Derek grits his teeth and reminds himself that while charity is important to his mother, genuine kindness is more so, and she won’t hesitate to voice any disappointment.

“Does the cooking or the clean-up take longer?” a voice asks, followed shortly by footsteps.

“Not sure,” Derek says, wincing when the potato peeler slips and cuts into his finger. He flips the water on with his wrist, hopefully hiding the blood from sight until his skin knits itself back together seconds later. “My sisters are in charge of cleaning.”

There’s laughter from behind him, and the sound of the wooden spoon he’d been using to brown the butter as it clinks against the pot. “So it doesn’t matter much to you is what I’m getting out of that.”

Derek feels his lips quirk up, despite his reluctance to have his space invaded. “If there’s a single clean dish in this kitchen at the end of the day I’ve failed.” This time, when he hears laughter, he turns around to look at the source of it and almost immediately wishes he hadn’t. If there’s anything that makes Derek a little weak in the knees, it’s pale skin and big, dark eyes, and he looks away before he can take the man in fully and find even more appealing details.

“Need any help getting dirtying them up?” the guy asks. Derek’s about to decline—politely, of course, or God help him if his mother overhears—but then he adds, “Because to be honest it’s kind of awkward being out there, I’m pretty sure everyone knows each other? There are groups, at least, and I was supposed to come with my buddy because we decided it was a Christmas-only trip home this year, only his girlfriend invited him to Tahoe literally this morning and he didn’t tell me until I got here and it also felt awkward to leave, so …”

Derek starts peeling the potatoes again and tells himself to stay strong, but he can feel his resolve crumbling. “I don’t really need much help,” he says; a weak protest, but still true. He does so much of the prep ahead of time that it’s really just managing the timing of it all. The disappointment that radiates from the man is so palpable that Derek caves almost immediately. “But you can cube the potatoes, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, anything,” he hears, and then, “I’m Stiles, by the way.”

Stiles … doesn’t shut up. He talks as he cuts the potatoes in a way that makes Derek think he’s going to lose a finger by the end of the night, an abbreviated life story that gives just enough details to get Derek interested in hearing more. But for every small fact about himself he gives out he asks at least three questions of Derek, everything from his middle name to the first flavor of ice cream he’d ever considered his favorite, and Derek finds himself talking much more than he does to anyone he’s ever met. He doesn’t even realize he’s answering the questions until suddenly they’re knee-deep in an argument over the relative merits of the Wildcat formation and he realizes he’s ignored the timer on the oven going off for a solid two minutes while he details his very short college football career.

“So how’d you get stuck with all the cooking?” Stiles asks hours later, just as Derek’s pulling the turkey out of the oven to rest. He’s holding a casserole dish in his hands and although his body is still, he also seems to be vibrating with energy. “I’m just assuming this isn’t the first time because you seem to have everything under control, whereas I would have probably burned the turkey to get it to cook faster and forgotten like, the rolls or something.”

Derek pauses, still holding on to the roasting pan with both hands. The words send a jolt of adrenaline through him—not the good type, not the type that comes with elation or something equally serotonin-boosting—but dread, and a mild sense of panic.

He couldn’t have forgotten the rolls. He gets the frozen type, bags and bags of them, because once they defrost and rise they only take a few minutes to bake. It’s the last thing he does every year; he takes the casseroles out of the oven and puts four cookie sheets worth of rolls in, and by the time they’re done everything else is on the table. 

“I forgot the rolls,” he says, letting go of the roasting pan and twisting to look at the island, where the shelf he typically keeps the cookie sheets on is depressingly empty. His heart feels like it’s sinking, even though he knows at the same time that there’s plenty of food and it’s not such a big deal. “I forgot to take them out.”

The oven door closes, pulling him out of his head, and Stiles taps at the buttons to set the timer. “I can grab them. Where are they?”

“In the freezer,” Derek says, probably too short, because Stiles raises an eyebrow in response. “Fuck, I never took them out. They take hours to rise, it’s too late. Shit.” 

“So we go without,” Stiles says, shrugging. “If anyone complains, kick them out.” 

He can’t keep himself from frowning. It’s such a simple, little thing, and he tends to get stuck on those at times and the unsettled feeling in his chest can stick around for hours. But then Stiles moves into his line of sight and reaches out, hand closing around his shoulder. “You’re cute when you’re upset,” he says, and grins even though a faint blush appears on his cheeks. “It’s not rolls, but I can make biscuits pretty quick if you’ve got flour and extra butter.”

Some of the pressure lifts off his chest. “Flour’s in the pantry,” he says, and Stiles nods once and turns around, further discussion not needed. Derek still needs to assemble the salads, but he takes a moment to find a clean mixing bowl and the pastry cutter so Stiles can get to work. It takes longer than the rolls would have, but everything is still hot when they come out of the oven, and he can’t even bring himself to care that his sisters will definitely make fun of him for messing up when Stiles breaks off a piece of a biscuit and holds it out for Derek to try.

They’re simple, but good—but even better is the way that Stiles kisses him back when Derek pulls him in, a little overwhelmed by the way the day turned out so differently than he had expected, but grateful.

“Thanks for that,” he says, quietly, when they part, gesturing to the basket Stiles had just piled all the biscuits into. “And everything else.”

“Thanks for letting me hide in here all day,” Stiles says with a grin. “Do you have to stick around for a while after dinner, or can I convince you to get late-night ice cream with me?”

“I could be convinced,” Derek says, picking up the last of the casserole dishes to bring to the table, “but I could also just forget to bring out that cherry pie you’ve been looking at all day and we could keep hiding.”

“Hiding’s good,” Stiles says quickly. “Hiding is great, let’s do that. Just not in here where I assume your sisters will be cursing our names as they clean, so—my place isn’t that far, if you wanna just … hide there. Instead. With the pie. You know, we could always get ice cream to go with the pie, that’s probably the best decision. Do people do a la mode with cherry pie?”

Derek shakes his head and grins, and uses his elbow to urge Stiles in front of him; they’ve only known each other a few hours, but he knows well how easily he can get distracted. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s go get this over with and we can find out.”

#sterek #fic #thanksgiving #fluff #eli writes #legit thought of this around 8:30 and started writing it around 10 #just needed to write thanksgiving fluff i guess!

[baohanhanesel]

Mom of the TF141

Mentioned: Simon Ghost Riley, John Soap Mactavish, Kyle Gaz Garrick, Captain John Price.

It was the fact you knew how to comfort each one of them. They loved some homemade goods after a bad mission. The freshly bandages wounds, aching pain and the headaches were best cured with homemade lentil soup and homemade meatballs with potatoes. You knew they didn't remember the last time they had a homemade meal. So you took the opportunity and comforted them with it.

Ghost liked to be silent while he ate the goods and after that he'd disappear to his room to rest for the day. You'd make sure to send him a bowl of the biscuits you baked so he has snacks to munch at night if he can't sleep.

Soap was the type of guy to talk everything out and you'd listen. You'd listen to him tell you about everything in his mind mission related or not. Most of the time it wouldn't be mission related, he would just want to move on quite fast. You'd sit across from him, see him down the second plate while he talked. He'd occasionally get tired of stuffing his mouth and talking so you had to do a bit of talking as well. "You say so?" "That sounds interesting." "Oh wow. I haven't seen you talk about that before!" "Johnny..." "What? For real? What happened after that?"

Gaz sometimes had tears in the corner of his eyes while he stuffed his mouth shut with a spoonful of lentil soup. He'd never let them fall, not before you gave him the flag to do so. "Kyle, it is fine. You are fine." You wouldn't mention his tears while he ate, or when he decided to talk to you about the mission and how it could have been successful. You could see he valued your words a lot. And that made you feel special, as special as you were for him.

Price was the grumpy type. He had the furrowed eyebrows until he started to eat. After he got that done, he'd soften a bit but you'd still notice the subtle anger in him. You knew at those times joking wasn't a way out, so you just gave his shoulders a pat. "You did everything you could have, John. You know you did." If he denied so, you'd hush him. "No talking back. Why don't you go lay down?" He wouldn't be against the idea if it came from you. He trusted you and the comfortable warmth your words made him feel was indescribable. He could never put a word on it.

It was the fact they all respected you a shit ton. A recruit badmouthing you or even talking to you as an equal? They were very quick to jump at them.

Ghost would glare at first, cursing them in his head for thinking they are your equal. They were not. They didn't have the right to think you were like the others in the base. You were much more important. You were a warmth he never thought that was left in this hellhole of a world. If they went as far as to insult you, he would threaten the recruit behind your back. Grabbing the back of their throat and whispering in a deadly tone. That they were nothing other than a piece of shit on the sidewalk and they would better remember their place before Ghost would teach them where it was. Every time without an exception you'd never see that recruit look into your eyes ever again.

Soap threw a dirty look, asking the recruit overwhelming tons of questions and humiliating them. If they thought they were your equal that was embarrassing. Soap would make them realize how embarrassing they were by asking questions. "Ohh name three times you calmed down an angry Captain after a 48 hour mission." "Name me one time you walked up to Ghost and got him to talk." If they insulted you, it was nothing but a fist straight into their face. No warnings. Nothing. Just a good punch. After that? That recruit wouldn't be seen anywhere within your eye range.

Gaz would openly say they were stupid for thinking of themselves as your equal. He would give them many reasons why they are not. When he witnessed someone insulting you? He rolled his sleeves and prepared his fists but never got to attack the recruit before they ran away. Gaz didn't waste his time tracking the fucker down. He would have. If you hadn't stopped him and told him the recruit was just a rookie.

Price would lecture the recruits. "This woman right here saw more blood than any of you did. She saw more dead bodies than more people you got to know in your pathetic lives." There was no stopping him if he started his lecture already. He wouldn't stop without seeing the shame on the soldier's faces. You would try stopping him though, even if you knew he wouldn't. When would you not try? When he heard you get insulted by someone. That was off limits for you because you knew he saw red when it happened. He'd get very scary with the strict voice and if necessary a collar grab. He'd only calm down after seeing tears in the recruit's eyes or hear their babbles of apologies. If he could fire soldiers for disrespecting you, he would. But he was a smart man and instead of giving up on a lost cause he'd just bend them into manners with more force.

It was the time you called them your boys. It was a calm evening and they had made you so happy, talking and joking peacefully with each other. Seeing them so good and well mannered with one another had made you so happy back then you called them your boys. "I am so happy my boys are so good with one another. Wouldn't change anything for your team bond."

Ghost paused, looking at you in disbelief. He felt a huge crash in his heart and a huge smile on his face matching it. He didn't remember the last time he got this emotional over being mentioned before. He was a grown man, for fuck's sake. He didn't say anything and only kept joking around with the way you said it. Your phrase made him realize that he was one of your boys indeed and that he has been seeing you as his mother figure.

Soap laughed so damn loudly. "Yeah? Seeing our lady happy makes me damn happy." He would get next to you and hug you. As much as he tried to seem he was cool and he totally wasn't affected with the way you called them your boys he was affected horribly. He was so damn happy that you saw him as your boy. He had made peace with the idea in his head before, the idea that you were a mother figure for him. So hearing you say that so casually made him feel like a little child.

Gaz felt his cheeks flush. He was embarrassed. He didn't think hearing that from you could get him this embarrassed, but it had. He wanted to hear you say it again but he would rather dig himself a hole than to ask that of you. He already had a hard time not calling you mom, you were making it very hard for him to not make that mistake. Granted if he accidentally called you mom, he'd disappear for a few days to process what he just did.

Price smiled lovingly. Looking you in the eyes with admiration in them. He admired you so much. You were a brave motherly woman and for him you meant a lot. Hearing you say "My boys" got him so happy you had no idea. He had always seen this team as a family, and you not speaking otherwise gave him the flag to freely call you "mom" even as a joke. You'd take the joke well, that much he knew it. He thought of you as a comforting mother since the day you got close with him. Your smile, your words and your pats on the shoulder. You made him want to cry because of how comfortable you made him feel.

#cod modern warfare #cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod #kyle gaz garrick #gaz cod #captain john price #captain price #john price #price cod #kyle garrick #john mactavish #simon riley #reader is female #mom reader #fluff and feels #cod headcanons #tf 141

[tunastime]

the various skills of ethoslab and how he learned them and when. the list of a man who's lived a bit longer than he should have. (inspired by this post)

field meals: it's just soup. he never makes them for anyone else, not until they lose the grainy texture they start with. he learns from a man in a village that questions why he covers his face. etho laughs, but he never tells him why. the man doesn't ask again. he tells him that if he lets the vegetables soften for longer that they won't make a gritty soup when mashed. he learns spiced pumpkin, beetroot, chicken and potato.

(he stays for two weeks. he rids the nearby temple of infestation in repayment. when the temple master tries to repay him with gold, he tells him that he only wants a written recipe of how to bake bread. the baker’s son gives him one with honey in it.)

soap making: is something he learns pretty early on in his career in machinery. it's no good just to rinse your hands in water and it's still no good just to be buying soap up-charged, and lye isn't any good alone. lye doesn't smell, or worse yet, smells heavy and thick and doesn't come off your skin or out of your clothes properly. he picks up a book somewhere about it. one part lye. one part oil. one part anything else. beeswax and honey. pine tar and coconut oil. he learns what mixtures get redstone out of his clothes and what he can use to wash his hair with so it doesn't frizz. he washes his clothes in a basin of warm water and honey and rosemary soap, as he does his blankets and his sheets until his whole home smells like rosemary and honey and lye and beeswax. he washes his hair and it smells like pine.

plant identification: it takes one bad meal. one bad berry before etho starts learning. pause gets sick in the snow, really sick. he doesn't cough up blood but the sheen of sweat never leaves his face for the entire week that he lies shivering under two coats and a blanket. every time etho and beef try to say something comforting, he says, “stop fussing over me, i'm fine, just food poisoning. beef cooked the chicken wrong.” (it wasn't the chicken. it was the elderberries. etho spends time figuring out what the ripe ones look and taste like. he learns mistletoe, nettles and hogweed, rosary peas and lily of the valley. he doesn't see any of them except the lily again. but he keeps the information for later.) pause gets better after a week of his eyes far away, glazed over, sweating, of him unable to keep down fluids, of shaking awake in the night, holding etho's hand. they get sick, but nobody gets sick like that again.

sewing: pause steadies his hands. he tells him that if he messes up he'll poke himself and beef tells him to stop fussing. etho can thread a needle, can't he? (he can't.) he stabs his index finger three times poking it through the fabric to make a crude patch with their initials on it. then he sews shut a tear on beef's jacket, then he affixes a handful of new buttons to an old shirt of bdubs'. bdubs has him sewing squares within the week, and they stitch together a quilt of scrap fabric big enough for them both. there isn't a cold night that the quilt doesn't stave away. it's in a different spot each time etho sees him: draped over a chair, lovingly folded on the bedside, pulled over his shoulders. they wear it threadbare.

braiding: his hair gets too long. he ties it back himself the first time, some loose thing that falls out as soon as he does it. he says to himself (a reminder): “you break it into three. you're always crossing over the middle most strand. right over middle, then right becomes middle, so left over the middle. and repeat. pulling tight.” he gets better at it, until he can tie a strong three strand braid that he learned from tying twine together to make a stronger rope. bdubs sees him pull it back a few times and braid it like that, and one of those times, late, when they're both tired and leaning on each other, he turns and takes his loose hair and asks if he can braid it. etho shrugs and says “sure.” (and his voice says only you can do that). bdubs says “sit still.” etho sits in front of his crossed legs and bdubs combs out his hair. he tells him as he works: “it's different than the three, but not that different. you pull an extra strand in each time. it looks like fish scales, so people call it a fishtail.” bdubs braids and pulls it tight. he leans forward into etho and etho leans back into him.

(etho spends two days knotting fraying ropes in fishtail braids so his hands learn (and he fidgets, and he fidgets, and it becomes his new fidget, to tie rope together) before he attempts it on his shoulder-blade length hair. bdubs guides his hands, starting him off until he can braid the top too. he only cuts it once—right before the second death games, and even then, bdubs manages to braid a little braid into his hair.)

tea specialist: it's methodical. that's what he learns, when he travels out further than he had in a long time and wanders into the city. he, like many adventurers, takes refuge, and he, unlike many adventurers, stumbles into the tea shop and takes it all in. steady hands (beef taught him that) keep him from crushing the leaves too fine to strain. he learns what hot water feels like in a tin kettle and how to prop it properly on the coals so it heats even and doesn't char the underside of the tin. he buys two wooden cups there, sealed with wax, and brings them with the kettle. it stays on the countertop.

(he uses it every night. later, in a snow fort in the middle of nowhere, he sets one of the wooden cups into the calloused hands of his partner and friend, and bdoubleo looks at him with eyes wide and round and red. he doesn't kill him when he sleeps.)

staving off the effects of sleep deprivation: there's a body sleeping next to him that needs him awake. there's a place someone can sit between wake and dream that makes sure that the body doesn't tire and it's here where he stays. his heart slows way down, but his eyes stay alert through a bleary haze. there are things he hears that aren't real. when his partner (partner, the word feels weird on his tongue now that bdubs is a red life. if they were anywhere else, he would be safe to sleep) wakes two hours from now, then he will rest. he will lie there and listen, waiting to hear him stop breathing. he never gets to that point, but he certainly sleeps very little. beef and pause never told him off for doing it, but when there were sections of the day that he didn't remember and he sat up and there was a coat draped over his knees with a tag that had VB written in chunky letters, he smiled to himself. he's tired now, but he's good at pretending he's not.

separating the things that are dreams from the ones that are not: he's still waiting for someone to tell him how to do that

#fics #text #ethoslab #etho #the life series #last life smp #llsmp #team canada #etho's modded minecraft #im not gonna tag it but mindcrack is in here #vague references to various ethoslab things #oh wait and a reference to captive minecraft 4 :) #peep the hot tea reference i care them #yeah i'll tag them actually #ethubs #mcyt fic #mcyt fanfic

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

So…forgive me if you’ve done something like this before but Steve/Nat/Bucky have been living rent free in my head for a while now and I thought…what if Nat was just having a really lousy time and Steve and Bucky just cooked her an authentic Russian meal to cheer her up but they can’t cook. So they keep practicing and tasting until they get it right…putting on weight as they go because…decadent cuisine, amirite? She notices her little pelmeni getting bigger but she doesn’t mind. She keeps tasting, taunting them, saying it’s not right, try again. Until they get it right, only they’re not the only chubby ones anymore…but Nat doesn’t realize it until she indulges in one of their truly amazing meals and ends up popping a button. Sexy times!

Completely ignores the fact that the last writing I did here was all but a month ago and returns like nothing happened.

I haven't done something like this before! I dig it! It's giving this scene between Wanda and Vision

Also, it reminds me of this Steve and Natasha fic that I adore "Shaping Happiness"

Inspiration/reminders aside... yes! This idea is great!

I went off the prompt a little bit because I couldn’t help myself, I hope it’s still enjoyable!

Warnings for Steve × Natasha × Bucky belly kink below the cut. Unbeta'd. Stuffing, weight gain, dirty talk, etc.

At first, all the food Steve and Bucky attempt to cook for Natasha to cheer her up is truly terrible.

Steve has never been much of a cook, so he claims it’s not his fault. Listen! He's unlucky enough to burn water! So, as Bucky rediscovers Steve’s kitchen ineptitude, he's quickly relegated to boiling water at most and tasting as Bucky cooks at least. Steve cannot be trusted with knives and veggies most of the time (Bucky will never understand how he’s a superhero who can hold his own in combat), nor can he be trusted to measure something correctly (he’d much rather just "eyeball" it), and there is never a time where it is acceptable to allow Steve to cook something. He will turn up the temperature, thinking it’s not cooking fast enough, and accidentally attempt to burn the entire apartment to the ground. So, Steve gets to taste.

Only taste.

Bucky will give him spoonfuls or bits and pieces, and Steve will greedily take them. Praising Bucky’s cooking ability (re: his non-disaster existence in the kitchen that Steve occasionally envies, lmao) and asking for more, please? Weaponizing those pretty baby blues when Bucky’s successful enough for things to be edible.

Obviously, Bucky is a better chef between the two of them, but he's out of practice (years of being the fist of HYDRA will do that to you) and unfamiliar with these kinds of foods. So, even though he's still got a few of his Ma's recipes in the very back of his brain (not that Depression-era foods to keep the family fed are very good compared to a lot of these Russian delicacies), nothing is really… right… when they first begin making comfort food for Natasha.

They try all the staples:

Solyanka (sweet and sour beef stew), zharkoye (beef (or whatever extra meat you have around the house) and vegetable stew), zharkeo (chicken stew), etc.

Borscht (red beet soup), okroshka (vegetables, egg, potato, and meat soup), rassolnik (beef, barley, and pickle soup), shchi (cabbage soup), ukha (fish soup), etc.

Pelmeni (meat dumplings), pirozhki (savory baked or fried puff pastries), blini (wheat crepe-like pastries with sweet or savory fillings), borodinsky (dark rye bread), vatrushka (sweet pastry with cottage cheese and raisins), shashlik (kebabs with cubed meat and vegetables), ikra (caviar on bread/blini), pirozhki (yeast dough stuffed with savory or sweet fillings), etc.

Morozheneo (extra creamy Russian ice cream), pashka (sweetened cheesecake), kartoshka (basically Russian cake pops, often chocolate), kissel (cherry soup), medovik (layered honey and condensed milk cake), etc.

Steve will often spend the time that Bucky is spending cooking by looking up new recipes, and new foods, making sure to take them from credible sources so they don’t end up in a “diner situation”

The diner situation was what happened when Bucky was first recovering and they were surviving on takeout because Bucky was too afraid to allow himself around knives again and Steve was struggling (unsurprising), so no cooking for him, and they went to an “all-American diner.” Hoping for a taste of home and instead finding that the diner served food that was God fucking awful and worst of all, nothing like the actual food of the day it was claiming to represent! It made them both feel worse - lonelier. No one understood what it was like. What the food was, what the culture was, what it was like.

They don’t want that.

They will not be making some bogus “Russian food” that isn’t actually authentic.

Anyway -

All traditional Russian cuisine that Bucky attempts while Steve watches and tastes and researches aren't any good at first.

Like, they suck so much that Steve and Bucky don't even serve them to Natasha. Tasha doesn’t even know what they’re doing. She’s always out on missions or on Capitol Hill with Fury whenever they try their hand at making her familiar Russian foods by their design. While alone together in the apartment, Steve and Bucky quietly try each creation themselves, can barely swallow it at first, and decide… not yet.

Not yet.

They both want it to be perfect.

So, even when Steve begins to use his puppy-dog eyes for evil, begging for more treats, more tastes, because, holy shit, Buck, that’s great! That has to be what that is supposed to taste like! They don’t share the plan with Natasha yet.

Not yet.

Natasha catches onto the fact that something is going on as she starts to squint her eyes and pinch Steve’s hip or ass, gratefully sighing, “at least between the two of you, someone is fully embracing the house-husband lifestyle.”

Embracing the house-husband lifestyle by packing on a few pounds. Just enough to soften Steve’s usually perfect abs into a flat belly (unless he’s stuffed or bloated) and turning his thighs and ass into soft, squeezable shapes.

Bucky and Steve have both retired, giving them all the more time to spend experimenting and practicing recipes for Natasha as house-husbands and homemakers. But Steve is the only one beginning to plump up. He’s stopped going for his morning run and afternoon workouts cold turkey. Bucky still goes to the gym. He finds it meditative. Cooking and working out seem to be some of the only things that completely clear his mind. Steve, on the other hand, has always been single-minded. And it seems like eating has taken up all of his focus.

There's no room for anything else.

Steve tastes as Bucky goes, describing the flavors the best he can, telling him what he might try adding and how the flavor compares to what his research has told him the dish is supposed to be like. Then, when the dish is done, Steve tries it first, while it’s still hot (even if it’s supposed to be served cooled, Steve can’t help but have a healthy serving before it goes into the fridge). He gives notes again. Bucky tries it when it's fully ready. He has a nibble or two, just enough to taste - nothing like the full servings that Steve takes. Bucky has already had his lunch, and he doesn’t want to spoil his dinner. Then, if it’s good, Steve eats the rest of whatever they’ve made.

All of the rest.

Bucky’s taken to telling Steve to “hide the evidence” since they don’t want Tasha to know until they’re ready for her…

Is it really hiding, though, if they both know where the extra food is ending up in the form of a pretty, shaping-up pot belly? Sticking straight out from Steve's well-defined chest.

Food for thought. Ha.

“What is Bucky feeding you when I’m away?” Natasha purrs, on her knees, her sharp, white teeth digging into the new slope of Steve’s belly. He chugged a whole, huge pot of stew when Natasha texted an approximate 10-minute ETA. Getting rid of the evidence except… the stew was full of melt-in-your-mouth meat and potatoes and salt. Heavy. This stew isn't fucking around and it's apparently delectable (Steve's word). So, it’s obvious where the stew has gone. Right into his pot belly.

Swollen.

Once Natasha arrived, Steve was still sweating and just beginning to bloat up like a balloon from the excess sodium. And Tasha's always present 6th sense for knowing how best to drive Steve up the wall, complained about how hungry she was.

A devious grin split Bucky’s face, asking what she was craving because they’d be sure to order lots of it. Whatever she wanted.

She said Indian food.

Perfect.

That’s not something Steve can resist. He loves Indian food. And, sure enough, he wolfed down a whole ‘nother dinner. Getting red in the face from the spice heat and temperature heat, his poor belly gurgling loudly in a fit of digestion.

Steve shrugs in reply to her question, biting his lip out of arousal but also out of desperation to hide the overfull groan that wants to come out of him. He’s been fighting burps and moans and hiccups all evening. Trying to not make his packed state so fucking obvious.

Bucky thought he was into seeing Steve like this - bloated and round - because he loves seeing his fella happy and healthy and fulfilled. Bucky thought he was into cooking and baking and experimenting with food for Natasha because he loves her, and he wants to make her happy and bring her comfort and just do something sweet for her. Those things are true. But, watching Natasha dig her painted nails into Steve’s soft parts…

There’s something else here, too.

Woo, boy.

“Mm,” Natasha is half-asleep, exhausted from yet another mission, yawning, and curled up like a cat in a sunspot between them. Her head is cushioned on Steve’s chest, “‘m pretty sure we could get rid of our pillows and be just fine.” She squeezes the pec that her head isn’t pillowed on in her hand, groping him, “got enough right here.”

Steve inhales shakily, turning bright red.

Bucky can tell by looking at him that he’s not insulted, far from it, that’s his this-is-making-my-dick-hard face. He's squirming, too. Blood going straight for his dick with a vengeance.

“Eh, just wait a little longer 'fore we make any rash decisions, m'kay, doll?” Bucky murmurs, amused, running his metal fingers through Tasha’s fire-red hair.

She grumpily frowns but then snuggles more into Steve’s jiggly chest, taking it as being warned about how tired she is rather than waiting because Steve’s going to get plumper. More cushion.

Good.

The more blindsided she is by the comfort, the better. Bucky wants it to take her out - to make her feel so much better that all she can do is accept it. She has a hard enough time allowing herself simple pleasures.

She deserves it all and more.

“Damn, Rogers, you ever think about doing a centerfold? I’m pretty sure Playboy would make an exception for you if we asked.” Natasha husks, her face all up in Steve’s business. Lips and teeth and tongue working at his little hole while her hands spread his extra full cheeks apart.

Steve simply whines, high-pitched and pathetic.

It’s a damn good response, considering her question and considering how Bucky has his cock rammed down his throat. Stuffing him.

Steve is suspended between them, face-planted onto Bucky’s cock, choking, his arms useless, half crushed under his chest against the bed, and arching back against Tasha. His legs shake under him when Natasha does something special with her sharp tongue. Steve’s in heaven. Choking on dick, throat full, and getting fucked with a hot, wet tongue deep inside his sweet hole.

Now, after weeks and weeks of practice, not just Steve’s big, heavy dick hangs down toward the bed... now his belly does, too. It jiggles when he squirms. Every time Bucky squeezes his growing gut, Steve makes a sound like he’s dying. It’s a different sound to what he makes when Natasha gropes his thickening ass or widening love handles. Also, different from the sound he makes when they feel up his expanding tits. All his sounds are sweet, but the sound he makes for his belly is especially guttural and desperate.

“Curves for days,” Bucky bites out, thrusting in hard. “Better than any of the girls in those pages.”

Steve chokes.

Tasha laughs, just this side of cruel. “Mmm-hmm,” she spanks his ass just to watch the fat flesh ripple, “getting more and more curves these days. I guess retirement is good for somethin’.”

The growl Bucky lets out is unintentional. It’s barely been a year since they retired. So, what will Steve look like in a year? What will Natasha look like when she’s face-first in his ass then? Will Natasha have to buy a longer strap to reach Stevie’s hole, much of the plastic length getting swallowed by his monstrous ass? How fat will Steve be if they keep going, his perfect, little, superhero figure ruined?

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Bucky can’t take the thought. He ends up coming down Steve’s throat with a shout from behind gritted teeth.

Steve doesn’t mysteriously grow forever, though...

When they’re ready, Bucky and Steve arrange with Fury for Natasha to have a full three-day weekend off, no interruptions unless the world is literally being torn in two. Then, with the guarantee, they prepare.

First, Steve does research into the traditional Russian foods that would be used for a celebration - a feast - and arranges an entire multi-course menu for the occasion. His poor belly, so used to tasting and now able to recognize most of the dishes he comes across, wails the whole time he works. He’s not hungry. Not exactly. He just wants something in his mouth. He wants to taste. He can’t wait for the feast. Bucky has to remind him again and again that this is Natasha’s feast. She’s going to eat what she wants, and then Steve can destroy the leftovers.

Second, Bucky prepares all the dishes. One last time. Every detail on point. Practicing. Getting everything as perfect as he can. Making sure the dishes and drinks in each course compliment each other well.

Steve gobbles it all up, stuffed like a traditional American Thanksgiving turkey by the end of it. Panting around his bounty, all of it shoved down his throat, turning his belly into a red, tight beachball that Bucky wants to worship.

And for once, Bucky is relieved that Natasha is currently, before her long weekend, on a multiple-day mission. She’s out of the apartment and not returning tonight. He’s relieved because it means he doesn’t have to explain this to her.

Steve. Stuffed. Food-drunk and hard and moaning about it.

There’s no way this would be an accident. No one gets completely, illogically gorged like this without trying.

When did tasting bits and pieces become vacuuming up the entire dish Bucky made anyway? Bucky doesn’t exactly know. But he can’t complain. All he can do is rub Steve’s skin with lotion then jerk him off slow and tight, dragging it out until Steve is sobbing, holding his taunt gut desperately like he can keep himself together, keep himself from splitting at the seams, and then blacking out when he’s finally allowed to come because it feels so good.

Third, they prepare all the food before Tasha is set to arrive home. She’s been in debrief most of the morning, but before that, she caught a cat nap on the quinjet and then showered at Stark Tower. She should be refreshed. There’ll be no reason to delay the feast. Bucky doesn’t want to have to reheat it and ruin some of the delicate flavor.

He wants it perfect.

Steve waddles around, helping Bucky to set the table the traditional Russian way - including the shot of vodka next to the water and wine glasses. Steve waddles because Bucky had to make sure he had his fill of food before the feast. Otherwise, he would’ve probably been helpless not to hoover up all the decadence laid out in front of him. He’s created a monster. Even if it’s been hotter than sin to watch him lose self-control after so many years of being perfectly in control of every little part of himself and his life - but, there needs to be an intervention of that new habit today.

So, Steve is stuffed, barely holding himself together. Panting. Flushed. Sweaty. Aroused. Filled.

Bucky is so focused on the stew in front of him, steaming on the stovetop, as he ladles it into an appropriate bowl for serving that he doesn’t hear Natasha unlock the apartment door. The first thing he hears from her is a pleased moan.

“What is that smell?” She asks, her husky voice bright.

“I think you know what it is,” Bucky chirps back, charming.

“Mm-hm,” she hums. Bucky hopes he isn’t projecting when he thinks that she sounds delighted.

But, before he can get anything else out of her, he hears her gasp. He’s about to round the corner and check on her, make sure nothing is wrong after her mission, when -

“Oh, маленький поросенок,” she purrs, “this is why you’ve grown so plump, isn’t it?”

Bucky shivers, setting down both the ladle and the bowl, quickly stalking toward the dining table. Little piglet. God. Did he hear her correctly? Did - is… is that what she really just called Steve?

Little piglet.

The meaning of the words themselves, along with the sound of smooth, purred Russian in Natasha’s voice, leaves Bucky’s heart pounding in his chest.

This was part of the plan, too. Making Steve irrestiable, putting him on display, was part of the plan. He just didn’t -

He didn’t expect it to affect him so much.

He wanted it for Tasha.

Just for her, he left Steve at the dining table, sitting back in one of the heavy wooden chairs with his big belly wedged between the armrests as a gift. Huffing and puffing, stuffed as he already is. His hands resting on either round, bowed-out side of his tummy, rubbing himself lazily. He’s in a tight white t-shirt that’s been pushed up by his swollen middle, exposing a delicious, pale slice of his lower belly that’s been marked by hot, pink stretch marks. Even the serum can’t keep up with the ravenous appetite inside of Steve. The elastic of his grey sweatpants has been stretched to its limits and crushed under his gut. If his heavy belly is lifted up, jostled enough to make him moan, it becomes obvious just how low his sweats are on his hips because the top of his neatly trimmed, blond pubic hair is right there.

Sweet.

He looks delicious.

He looks like one of the Russian pastries Bucky has prepared. Golden and puffy. Hell, he might look more like the dough for the pastry before it’s baked - he’s certainly doughy and soft and he’s expanding out of his clothes like he’s expanding, growing from too much yeast.

Natasha is standing next to him now, her mouth open, staring at him, trying to figure out where to begin. A cat with a mouse, all hers to play with.

The moment she touches him, Steve arches his back, pushing into her touch. Hungry for even that.

Gluttonous.

He’s so gluttonous.

More. More. More.

More of everything. Anything.

“You gonna sit down, doll?”

Natasha shuts her full lips with a click but nods, almost shy with how her eyes flick toward him, then away. Demure in a way that she never is. Normally, if she wants something. She’s going to get it.

This is a different side of her, and Bucky already likes it.

Bucky pulls out a chair for her, the one directly across the table from Steve. She sits, and he pushes her in. He leaves quite a bit of space between her and the table, hoping her gluttonous side will appear and flourish, too. He wants to see her belly grow until it touches the edge of the table.

Christ.

He wants her to eat until she can��t have another bite.

Maybe she’ll let him feed her like Steve lets him.

Maybe she’ll grow as round and fat as Steve has.

He enjoys having one little piglet as a lover, so what could be better than two?

Fuck.

More than excited, Bucky sits himself at the head of the table after bringing the first course. He serves Steve just as much as he serves Natasha, unable to not feed him when he looks so sweet. Even if the plan had been to stuff Steve beforehand so he would be sated (and also to allow him to sit for long enough that he’d be ready to play by the time Natasha was done eating).

Steve is...

He's perfect. Irresistible. Blue eyes dazed, eyelids heavy, cheeks red with heat, head hanging low enough to give him a full double chin. A preview of what’s to come if he keeps blowing up like a balloon. It’s delicious.

Tasha eats everything that Bucky serves her. Everything. Practically licking each plate or bowl clean. She praises his dedication, obviously noticing the care and preparation of the presentation but also tasting the care and prep. These are not flavors that are easy to attain. It’s not perfect. But Natasha is glad it isn’t perfect. That means they can do this again. And again and again and again. Until they have it perfect. Then. Even after that, they should do it. This is good.

Natasha is enjoying herself because, perfect or not, it does settle her. She feels like she could close her eyes and be in one of the rare moments of her childhood where she felt safe and comforted. Better than that, too. With her eyes open, she’s here with her lovers. Her маленький поросенок [little piglet] and her… her кормушка.

Кормушка.

That feels right.

Her feeder.

That’s what Bucky is doing, feeding her, stuffing her, giving her everything she wanted and beyond. More than she could’ve imagined.

The fuller Tasha gets, the farther they get through the courses, the more settled she feels.

It’s hard, she realizes, to allow her abs to let go and expand with the bulk of the food she’s putting down, but, when they make it to the third type of stew, Bucky pauses to rub her belly over her tightening blouse and she moans and breathes heavy and let's go.

She unrounds.

She didn’t realize she was sucking in every moment of every day. Exhaustive. Letting go makes her toes curl. She watches Steve across the table and does as he does, mirroring him, squirming.

“Oh, Джеймс,” Natasha moans his name in Russian, James. Moving side to side, squirming, she can feel the food sloshing inside her. It’s so akin to the feeling of being fucked that it’s shocking. Full. Every sweet spot inside her hit. No wonder Steve loves this enough to have plumped up so deliciously, so rapidly.

She must be making a wet spot on her chair. The heat between her legs is so intense. She would love to squeeze her legs together and feel the throb of her pussy, stimulating herself, but she’s afraid she can’t move her legs. They’ve fallen apart. Spread. Making room for her belly to grow between.

Grow and grow and grow.

Until it’s inhibited by the size of her shirt and the band of her pants, belted tightly to her skin. Her blouse is too tight. The belt is cutting her in half. Without the belt, she’s sure her pants would be giving her trouble anyway. Together, it’s all agony. And these pathetic sounds she only makes when her lovers spend their day working her up and up and up, not letting her come until the sun has begun to set and all she can do is weakly clutch at them, crying, sobbing, and whimpering for her release. Begging to have it. And making a massive mess when she does, squirting hard enough the first time she was convinced she pissed herself. Just. Drenched. Broken like a dry branch snapping.

Crack.

How does she feel like she’s there already?

Steve is watching her from across the table with this obscene, blatant, animal desire etched into his pretty face. She’s not sure she’s ever seen him look so dumb and dominant at once. Like he wants to take her, to devour her, but he doesn’t know how.

Not a thought in his head.

She doesn't blame Steve, though. It is exquisitely difficult to think when so stuffed. She's full up to her eyebrows, and every swallow is forcing her brain out of her head. No thoughts.

Bucky reflects the look on Steve’s face, just, without so much of the stupid. He’s clearly awed, but he knows exactly what he wants.

What he wants to do to her.

What he wants from her.

Pop.

Before she can even realize what’s happened, Natasha is moaning, gruff and loud, and breathless all at once. She has a mouthful of food that she’s having a hard time swallowing, and her body doesn’t want more food. Her mind wants more food. She needs. More. Just a little more. Please? This feast has to end at some point, doesn’t it? So she might as well take all she can get while she can get it, right?

What happened? She turns her head towards Bucky, feeling entirely shit-faced drunk in a way that she… she hasn’t maybe ever felt.

Tasha swallows her mouthful of food, moaning as it slides into her. Stuffing her more. Deep. And -

Pop. Pop.

“AH!” She moans again, twisting her head too fast when she hears an answering clink, clink.

Her eyes follow the sound and find Steve’s plate and her answer.

Two of the three buttons she’s just popped off of her blouse, each feeling like an orgasm in their own right, has landed on his plate.

Steve is staring at them. Chin doubled. Hungry and dumb with his mouth open.

Oh.

Natasha squirms as much as her overfull, clothes-breaking gut will allow for, crying out when she feels her bare skin come into contact with the edge of the table.

She's grown so huge.

Please, please, please.

She doesn’t know what she’s begging for, what her little, hurt, desperate sounds mean. She just knows she needs.

And the second Bucky pulls out her chair, rips her blouse open to allow her to fully expand, tears her belt out of the buckle, shreds her pants, and gets his head between her shaking thighs, she’s coming. Coming and coming and coming. It feels endless. Steve’s eyes are hot enough on her to feel like a physical touch that throws her over the edge that much more. The hot, wet press of Bucky’s mouth against her, her soaked tight core, is too much.

“Oh, oh, oh!” She can’t stop moaning as she orgasms, entirely swept up by the tide of pleasure and excess.

This is absolutely happening again. She's already -

Yeah.

She already knows.

Absolutely.

She gets off so hard on it, stuffed to glutted at their dining table, Steve in the same condition, that Tasha thinks she may never get off on anything else ever. She's been ruined. She already knows.

She's ruined, and this is going to ruin her figure. All she can think about is how decadent Steve feels, fat and soft and lush, and her own body being that? Oh, it blows her mind. Their bodies together, both fat and soft and lush and curvy and round, next to Bucky - all solid, hard muscle. Oh, fuck, that obliterates her mind.

😳

#ask #mylevisdontfitanymore #belly kink #text #stuffing #weight gain #bucky barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #stevebuckynat #chubby steve #chubby natasha #fic rec #fanfiction recommendation

[yaboyhoney]

Could I request a post-Hisui Ingo with a s/o who is a YouTuber?

I can just imagine this scenario where Ingo pops in sometimes to give his s/o food while they're recording and at some points, his appearances make it to the final video but here's the thing, no one knows where he went for the last 2-3 years so imagine all of the comments when they see him again.

Like-

'Ayo??? is that subway boss Ingo???'

'Your partner looks suspiciously like Ingo from the Battle subway in Unova"

"Guys I think we just found out where Ingo has been for the past 2-3 years!"

'why does your old man partner remind me of Ingo lmao'

and it goes on and on, it gets to the point where it reaches Emmet, and he goes looking for the channel himself, wanting to know if these claims are true. They are. That's his long lost brother.

aside Bonus: the reader is a bit dense and when he first met Ingo, he just assumed he was a look alike

YOUTUBER READER... Ask and you will receive, thank you for asking! And sorry about the wait.

Post-Hisui Warden Ingo x Youtuber Male Reader

You grew a large following with your Youtube career, not entirely expecting it to happen.

What started off as an avid interest in just history became a whole spiderweb of other accounts dedicated to a certain topic of choice.

Ofc you had your video game channel, a cooking/baking channel, sewing, and your gardening channel. You have a dedicated team of support staff that helps you make your videos and you're effectively deemed to be the visual living representation of "cottage core," having a busy but interesting life to the point where people just got curious and excited to see you.

You came across Ingo in your garden, in a messy state of mind, having fallen through the roof of your greenhouse. You immediately help him into your home and call the local doctor to discover that Ingo has been severely injured from the fall and broke his leg.

When Ingo shakily admits he doesn't know where he's from or how he got there, just extensive knowledge of Hisui and your eyes light up. You've finally gotten someone to talk about your special interest! But Ingo is frightened by the ordeal he's gone through and especially doesn't know where he's supposed to stay...until you give him a smile, pat his shoulder and offer him a room in your house for him to recover in.

Ingo refuses at first, it seems terrible to destroy one's property and take a place in their home! But after your constant insistence, he eventually wears down. You make a delicious pumpkin soup with vegetables grown from your own garden and Ingo's heart begin to race.

Though you have your busy career, you always ensure Ingo's safety and well being first. Making sure he's cleaned, fed, and taken care of. Ingo had been so lonely during his time in Hisui and he knew nothing of your online celebrity status...you two grew a love for each other during his recovery and after he was well, he asked you politely if he could stay.

your fans begin to notice that you've been happier, you've been mentioning here and there of a new boyfriend that you're dating. But you don't give out too many details....you think your chat would call you crazy for falling in love with a homeless man. lol

but one day you decide to entertain the idea of making Hisui food with him, you do a livestream of you two making potato mochi and the chat goes nuts of comments of him being the former Subway Boss.

this eventually gets reached out to Emmet, who's been searching for his brother for the past three years.

after getting some connections, you manage to get into contact with Emmet and agree to visit him, the two of you together. You don't tell your chat because you don't want fans to interrupt their reunion.

You hesitate, wondering if Ingo would leave but he promises to always stay loyal to you. You're his boyfriend and he doesn't want anyone else.

#ingo x reader #nobori x reader #pokemon x reader #my writing #youtuber reader #this was uhhhh in my head #i had no idea how to write this lol

[bjurnberg]

Ahhhh I was reading your November challenge post and I must ask if you would be willing to share the cranberry balsamic cookie bar recipe and/or the leek butter because they both sound so good!!

I’m always happy to share recipes. Any time you want one just ask.

Leek Butter:

Fine chop a pile of leek stems (about 3 cups worth) and rinse them to remove all the sandy dirt. Pat dry then dump them in a sauce pan with 1-2 Tbsp butter. Sauté until dark golden brown. (You don’t need to stir constantly, you can kind of ignore it for 10min while you make something else.)

Once the leeks are all cooked up add a full cup of butter. Melt it all together to let the flavor mix, then strain it into a serving dish (I used a large ramekin). Take a Tbsp of cooked leek and stir it in, and reserve another Tbsp to put on top as garnish once it’s re-solidified. (Save the rest of the cooked leeks for soup or stock.)

You’ll need to stir the leek infused butter a few times while it settles to prevent separation. Don’t just stick it in the fridge right away to harden.

I used Miyoko’s vegan butter cuz I was making it for a vegan friend. The flavor is fantastic but you can also use normal butter. Don’t use margarine, that’s a sin. This leek butter tastes divine. I would feed it to Jesus if he came to dinner. Got rave reviews from vegan and non-vegan friends alike at Friendsgiving.

Now for the

Cranberry Balsamic Cookie Bars:

I got the cranberry balsamic sauce recipe off tiktok from Username “Cook Fast, Eat Well”

Recipe -

1 cup fresh cranberries

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 cup salt

Cook all this together on high heat in a pot for 10min or so until it gets thick. (Once it starts boiling the cranberry skins pop like popcorn and that’s fun to listen to. If you’re impatient like me you can use a potato masher to speed up the process and make the sauce smoother.)

Cool for 5 min before adding:

1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

1/4 tsp black pepper

Zest from 1 orange

Stir together and cool before use. You can leave this in a sealed container in the fridge for a week if need be.

Recipe creator puts it on top of cream cheese as an appetizer dip, but I turned it into cookies using a family recipe my grandma made. Gma would use a 21 oz. can of pre-made cherry pie filling for these bars (and that’s dope, I recommend it) but here I substituted the cranberry balsamic sauce. (You can use any pie filling on this cookie base. I’ve done blueberry bars with a few drops of lavender extract mixed in and lemon zest in the dough, or peach pie with pecans and cinnamon. All variations I’ve tried are boss.) I used almonds in the cranberry bars cuz that’s what I had but walnuts would taste good too.

Cherry Pie Bars:

1 cup butter

1 cup white sugar

2 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

2 cups flour

1 cup nuts (almonds, pecans, or walnuts)

1 can cherry pie filling (sub cranberry)

In large mixing bowl cream butter and sugar, then add vanilla and eggs until smooth. Mix in flour, then nuts.

In a 9”x13” pan, spread 3/4 of the dough flat, pour the whole can of pie filling over the top, then take 1” pinches of the remaining dough and drop them all over like little floating islands.

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 30min.

Dust with powdered sugar while still hot so it melts into the pie filling and stays white on the dough islands. It’s pretty. Cut into bars and enjoy!

Hope you enjoy these recipes! Feel free to share them with anyone you want, and make any variation you please. These cookie bars are great for whatever fruit is seasonal, or that stray can of pie filling you found while cleaning out the cupboards.

#recipes #sharing recipes #cranberry sauce #cookie bars #leek butter #bjurnberg #Bjurnberg answers #food #love me some good food #I get real boujie for the holidays

[firesmokeandashes]

Hello, and happy Blorbo blusday!! I'm well *checks clock* 1h late gasp! As an excuse I can only say that today I have been packing and I forgot it was Thursday. (As usual I am @writeblr-of-my-own) ANYWAYS. For today's question, I'd like to know about food preference and cooking skills of your blorbo(es)! What can they cook, what they like to eat, whether they are good in the kitchen, or better away from it and close to a fire extinguisher!

Hello! Happy belated Blorbo Blursday!

Today, it seems the gang will either be cooking in a kitchen or burning it down TwT

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Jordan isn't really a cook, though he can make a few basic meals without setting the house on fire. But his real skill is baking! His Chocolate Haupia pie is to die for. Even his Tina and Tinamatua nod their head in approval when Jordan served it to them.

Unlike Jordan, Amelia isn't very good at baking. But she is a wizard when it comes to cooking! Anyone who has tried her food will tell you so! From traditional Irish dishes to spaghetti and meatballs, she either knows how to cook it or will learn how to. But her favorite dishes to cook for her friends, family, and herself are colcannon and potato soup.

Nala, on the other hand, should not be trusted to make anything other than toast, cereal, scrambled eggs, and a basic sandwich. Otherwise, she will burn down her entire house, and the neighbors!

Aiden is the opposite of his girlfriend when it comes to things in the kitchen. Not only can he cook, but he's also pretty darn good at baking. He can cook all sorts of traditional Brazilian/Portuguese dishes. From, feijoada, picanha and

Kaine is an okay chef and a semi-decent baker. He knows how to make a few basic meals like soup, spaghetti, and meatloaf, and can bake things like cake, cookies, and cupcakes without burning the house down. Though he did set a batch of cookies on fire once. Butt hey! Doesn't every baker at one point set something on fire?

Martha will just straight up burn the house down. And she knows this, but somehow, her mom and Grandmother just can't seem to get it through their heads that she should not be allowed in the kitchen. Because no matter how many times Martha says she can't cook or sets a dish on fire. Her mom and grandma will drag her back into the kitchen and try to get her to cook.

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If you would like to read more content about the gang click one of the links below!

The gang going to a fantasy world

The gang going on a car trip

And a special thank you to @writeblr-of-my-own for the tag and my bestie for helping me research dishes for Aiden to cook :)

○○○○○

So, I asked my best friend to help me research the traditional dishes for Aiden, and she copied down the recipes for them, so I told her to send them and that I would use them here. So, here's some traditional Brazilian and Latin recipes that my best friend found for me TwT

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Corned Beef Empanadas With Pickled Cabbage Slaw (Curtido)

The traditional way to enjoy corned beef is usually boiled until tender with green cabbage served with potatoes and carrots.

FOR THE EMPANADA DOUGH:

1 CUP SHORTENING MELTED

6 OUNCES COLD LIGHT BEER

1 ½ TSP BAKING POWDER

1 TSP SALT

3 TO 3 ½ CUPS FLOUR (PLUS MORE FOR DUSTING )

1 LARGE EGG, PLUS 1 TABLESPOON WATER (WHISK TOGETHER FOR EGG WASH)

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FOR THE EMPANADA FILLING:

OLIVE OIL

½ RED ONION, DICED

1 CUP WHITE POTATOES, PEELED AND DICED

1 CUP CARROTS, PEELED AND DICED

1 JALAPEÑO, MINCED

1 CLOVE GARLIC, MINCED

4 CUPS COOKED CORNED BEEF, CHOPPED (ABOUT 1½ POUNDS)

2 TBSP APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

½ TSP PEPPER

SALT TO YOUR TASTE

4 TO 6 OUNCES SWISS CHEESE, SHREDDED

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FOR THE EMPANADA FILLING:

OLIVE OIL

½ 
RED ONION, SLICED THIN

1 POBLANO PEPPER, DICED

1 ORANGE BELL PEPPER, DICED

1 JALAPEÑO PEPPER, MINCED

1 CLOVE GARLIC, MINCED

1 CUP SHREDDED CARROTS

5 CUPS SHREDDED RED CABBAGE

5 TBSP APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

SALT AND PEPPER TO YOUR TASTE

¼ CUP CILANTRO CHOPPED

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Steps:

Add the cold beer to the melted shortening, and stir gently. Add the baking powder, salt and gradually add in the flour until the dough forms. Transfer dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, adding a little flour. The dough should be a little tacky but not sticky. Transfer to bowl, cover and set aside.

For the filling, preheat 2 tablespoons of olive oil to medium heat. Add the onion, potatoes, carrots, jalapeño, and garlic. Cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until potatoes are soft. Add the corned beef, vinegar, and pepper. Stir well to combine, season with salt to taste. Remove from heat and let cool. Once cool, fold in the shredded cheese, cover, and chill until ready to use.

When the filling is cooled and ready, preheat the oven to 395ºF. Roll 24 dough balls, transfer them to a plate, and cover them loosely with plastic wrap. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside. On a lightly floured surface, roll out each dough ball to about 5 inches in diameter. Fill with 3 full tablespoons of filling, fold over, pinch, and seal. Transfer to a baking sheet. Slice a 1/2 slit on top of the empanadas, and brush with egg wash. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes on the lower rack of the oven until golden brown. Move the pan of empanadas up to the middle of the oven and broil for a minute or until the desired browning is reached.

While the empanadas are baking, prepare the curtido (slaw). Preheat 2 tablespoons of olive oil to medium heat for a few minutes. Add the onions, poblano pepper, bell pepper, jalapeño, and garlic. Cook for 6 to 8 minutes. Add in the carrots, cabbage, and vinegar. Toss to combine, season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook for just another minute, fold in the cilantro, cover, and remove from heat until ready to serve. Serve empanadas with the curtido.

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Sopa de Res con Fideos

This soup normally takes more than two hours to get the stock nice and rich with the broth from the bones. That said, this is not the “full” version of the way the soup is actually made; this is the “condensed” version. Still, it's a recipe that uses many ingredients that are typical to Puerto Rico.

Recipe:

1POUND BEEF SHANK

1POUND BEEF CUBES

4 CUPS BEEF STOCK

2CUPS WATER

1GREEN BELL PEPPER CUT IN HALF AND SEEDED

1 SMALL ONION CUT IN HALF AND PEELED

2 CLOVES GARLIC

1 RIPE HASS AVOCADO CUT IN HALF AND SEEDED

2 MEDIUM-SIZED CARROTS DICED

1 MEDIUM-SIZED YAUTIA DICED (THIS IS ALSO KNOWN AS MALANGA OR TARO), OPTIONAL

2 SMALL POTATOES DICED

2 TABLESPOON TOMATO SAUCE 1
BAY LEAF

1 TEASPOON DRIED OREGANO

8 OUNCES FIDEOS OR FINE EGG NOODLES

SALT AND PEPPER TO TASTE

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Steps:

1. Season your meat, both beef shank and beef cubes. I use my adobo seasoning mix which I make homemade, but you may use your own seasoning. Just make sure that you remember this will be covered with beef stock plus water, so you will have to season it well so the salt doesn’t wash away.

2. In a large kettle or Dutch oven, pour your broth and water in with the seasoned meat, then add bell pepper, onion, garlic cloves and celery. Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer on moderate to low heat for about an hour.

3. Transfer the vegetables to a blender and blend (use caution and place a damp towel over the opening so as not to have a catastrophe) until it turns into a puree (excluding the celery, you’ve just made a partial version of recao!) BE PROUD, BE VERY PROUD!

4. With a sieve, pour this puree back into the soup. You just want to extract the liquid, not the solids.

5. Now add in your carrots, yautia and potatoes. Gradually bring to a boil. Taste for salt and add pepper to taste. Add the oregano, bay leaf and tomato sauce.

6. Stir to mix in added ingredients. Cook over moderate high heat, stirring occasionally, uncovered for about a ½ hour more or until the potatoes, carrots and yautia are tender.

7. Add the noodles (fideos) and cook until they fideos are al dente.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

Grilled Beef Ribs with Brazilian-Style Salsa.

FOR THE RIBS:

1/4 CUP COARSE STEAK SEASONING (CHECK LOCAL STORES FOR A BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE BLEND)

1/3 CUP GRAPESEED OIL OR OLIVE OIL

3 TABLESPOONS RED WINE VINEGAR

1 LARGE LIME JUICED

SALT TO TASTE

2 POUNDS BEEF RIBS BONELESS, IF AVAILABLE

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FOR THE SALSA:

1MEDIUM GREEN BELL PEPPER DICED

1BELL PEPPER ORANGE OR YELLOW, DICED

1/2 RED ONION DICED

3 LARGE ROMA TOMATOES DICED

1/2 CUP PARSLEY OR CILANTRO, CHOPPED

2 TABLESPOONS AGAVE NECTAR OR HONEY

1 JALAPEÑO MINCED

1/3 CUP RED WINE VINEGAR

2/3 CUP OLIVE OIL

SALT AND FRESHED CRACKED PEPPER

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Steps:

1. In a bowl, mix all of the ingredients for for the marinade. Let sit for 10 minutes.

2. Transfer ribs to a baking dish and cover evenly with marinade. Cover and marinate for 4 hours. 

3. When ready, remove ribs from refrigerator and let come to room temperature for 30 to 40 minutes.

4. Prepare your outdoor grill for indirect cooking. This means you will only light one side of your grill, so there will be a cool side and a hot side. Preheat to medium-high heat with the lid closed. The grill temperature should be between 350-400º F.

5. Brush the grates to clean and then brush with some oil on the hot side. Place the ribs on the hot side just long enough to get a nice sear on all sides, 3 minutes per side. Transfer the ribs to the cool side of the grill and close lid. Cook with lid closed for 1 hour and 20 minutes.

6. Transfer ribs to a small metal baking pan or disposable baking dish. Cover tightly with foil paper and place back onto cool side of grill.

7. Cook for another 50 to 60 minutes or until ribs are tender. The internal temperature should be at least 170º F. Remove from heat and let stand for 10 minutes. To plate, add a nice even layer of salsa to the plate. Top with the ribs. Garnish with fried potatoes.

The salsa:

1. In a large bowl, combine all of the ingredients for salsa one hour before the ribs are done cooking. Cover and set aside at room temperature.

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Sirloin Steak With Chimichurri

• FOR THE SIRLOIN STEAK

2 POUNDS SIRLOIN STEAK

PASILLA CHILE POWDER OR ANY OTHER MILD CHILE POWDER

GRANULATED GARLIC

SALT AND FRESH CRACKED PEPPER

OLIVE OIL

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

FOR THE CHIMICHURRI SAUCE

1/3 CUP FINELY CHOPPED FRESH LEMON BASIL OR REGULAR BASIL

1/3 CUP FINELY CHOPPED CILANTRO

2 TABLESPOON FINELY CHOPPED FRESH OREGANO

1/2 TABLESPOON DRIED OREGANO

1 SERRANO PEPPER MINCED

4 LARGE CLOVES MINCED

JUICE OF 1 LEMON

5 TABLESPOONS RED WINE VINEGAR

1/3 CUP OLIVE OIL

SALT AND FRESH CRACKED PEPPER

ꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬ

Steps:

1. Finely chop the herbs, chile and garlic by hand — it really makes a difference! Set aside.

2. Combine the lemon juice, red wine vinegar, salt, and pepper in a separate small bowl, whisk together, and taste for salt.

3. Combine all of the ingredients, cover and let sit for a good hour or more, stir well before serving and taste for salt. At this time, season the steak on both sides with salt, pepper, granulated garlic, and chile powder, and drizzle with olive oil. Set aside.

4. When an hour has past, position the top rack in the oven about 10 inches from the broiler. Preheat broiler for 15 minutes. Transfer the steak to a foil-lined baking sheet. Cook under the broiler for about 5 to 6 minutes per side for a medium/rare done steak. If you like it more well done, add 1 to 2 more minutes per side. Remove from oven and let the steak rest for 10 minutes before slicing.

■■■■■■■

That's it! That's all the recipes! Word for word from what my best friend sent me in a very long text message TwT

Anyways,Im hungry and my hand is beginning to hurt byee!

#writeing #writeblr #answered ask #ask answered #blorbo blursday #my ocs do not steal #writing prompt #writing things #writer things #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #food #recipes #traditional food #traditional dishes #i love writing these sm

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

ASK GAME ASK GAME ASK GAME

(feel free to leave some out, I know it's a lot)

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

67. good luck charms?

70. left or right handed?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

HELL YEAHHHHHH ASK GAME ╰(*°▽°*)╯

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

I love a good coffee mug, especially one with a fun little design on it.

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Plastic cup. I’ll usually buy them in soda cans and pour them into a plastic cup because I hate drinking from the cans. I’ve never figured out how the fuck to do that hfkafhakjfhsahjf.

16. Most comfortable position to sit in?

Cross-legged and hunched over my computer like a gremlin

23. Strange habits?

Sometimes I drink lemonade with a spoon. As if it’s soup or something

I avoid the number 9 if possible. For example, I’ll refuse to sit in the ninth seat of a movie theater. It’s silly and superstitious, but I can’t help it

I avoid saying certain words linked to phobias of mine

24. Favorite crystal?

Ametrine

33. Most used phrase in your phone?

How do you tell that???? I have no idea lol. Probably just “Ok"

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Weirdest thing to ever happen at my school was that I never went to school lol. I’ve done online schooling my entire life (up until college) due to medical issues and severe anxiety

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Maybe a peach? Because I’m soft and sweet and fuzzy like a peach. Also because I write smut and people think peaches look like butts. Or maybe a blackberry. It’s a very goth berry imo

49. What saying or quote do you live by?

“Common things being common…” It’s a medical phrase that generally makes the case that less severe things are far more common than major deadly things. I.e., the pain in your abdomen is probably your period, not appendicitis; the back pain is probably just your chronic back issues acting up again, not a sign of kidney failure. That sort of thing. As someone with the unfortunate combination of OCD, germaphobia, extreme medical anxiety, and chronic pain and medical issues, it’s a really helpful phrase to remember.

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“The only thing that’s impossible is impossibility!” – Phineas Flynn from Phineas and Ferb. It’s a quote that inspired me a lot when I was younger.

67. Good luck charms?

An Irish pendant from my Grandmother, my hippo plushie, the number 13, other things I’m forgetting….

70. Left or right handed?

Right-handed

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

French fries for sure

85. Fairy tales or mythology?

Oooooo tough one. I’d have to say mythology! I love learning about the beliefs and traditions of different cultures, and it’s something I love to develop in my own original stories as well.

95. Favorite app on your phone?

The Notes app and music app are my besties

96. Desktop background?

Concept art of Kopaka from Bionicle Gen. 2 (under the cut)

#thank youuuuu these were fun! 💜 #ace rambles #ask game #friendo cylas <3

[eghost-dnd]

Legend of the fish of everlasting pt.1

Residing in the town of Udon, the bard known as Gipsy Mo, makes her way to the tavern.

"Whatcha need girly?" 

"What's today's special?"

"Baked potato soup, 25 gold"

"Yes please!"

She hands over the gold and receives her soup.

Mo = gold 75

She peacefully eats the soup until

SLAM

a bandit enters the fray

"Give me your gold or face my wrath"

Roll for initiative

Mo = 7

Bandit = 1

Mo goes first

She leaps up and un sheaths her long sword

"You're asking for a fight? I'll give you a fight"

1d20 = 2 +1 = 3 =miss

She swings her sword but the bandit dodges

Bandit= 1d20 = 1 + 3 = 4 =miss

He swings his scimitar and Mo dodges

Mo = 1d20 = 6 + 1 =7 miss

She jabs at the bandit who dodges just in time.

Bandit = 1d20 = 15 + 3 = 18 hit

He swings his scimitar 

Bandit = 1d6 = 5 + 1 =6 damage

Mo health = 1

Mo = 1d20 = 7 +1 = 8 miss

She misses again, worried that she might fail to save this tavern from the bandit she leaps back to the tender.

"Do you have any health potions?"

The tender shakes their head.

A bag is tossed at Mo. 

Inside are 5 health potions.

She looks around and sees a woman with black red and blue hair 

"Kick his butt!"

Bandit = 1d20 = 1 + 3 = 4 miss

The bandit lunges toppling over some bar stools as Mo leapes behind him.

Mo uses a potion 4d4 = 8 +4 =12

Mo health = 7 temp = 5

Mo drinks one potion of greater healing and feels stronger than normal.

Bandit = 1d20 = 9 + 3 = 12 hit

The bandit turns around and readys his scimitar

Bandit = 1d6 =5 + 1 = 6

He slashes at Mo causing her to angerly chatter.

"No gold for you Mr. Bandit man!"

Mo = 1d20 =16 + 1 = 17 hit

Mo = 1d8 =7 - 1 = 6 

Mo slashes back with her long sword

Bandit = health 5

The woman from before stands and looks at Mo.

"I got your back girlfriend!"

Celine = 1d20 = 13 + 6 = 19 hit

"FIRE BOLT!"

Celine = 1d10 = 8

Bandit = health -3

Hit by the fire, the bandit collapses to the ground. The tavern is a mix of startled, relieved, and on edge. 

XP + 25

"Whew we did it. You had a close call there!" Celine turns to Mo.

The guards enter and take the bandits body. One guard heads to the girls.

"Thank you for stopping him. Thankfully he was wanted dead or alive. Here is your reward." He hands them both 25 gold.

Mo = 100 gold

Celine = 95 gold

As the guards leave chatter fills the tavern.

The tender also thanks the girls by giving them a free bowl of soup. Mo is EXTREMELY happy and Celine offers to pay for hers but the tender insists.

Mo "dang such good soup! What was your name? Did we reach that point in conversation?"

Celine " Im Celine, a sorcerer. I have seen you around town before but fate must have caused this event"

Mo holds out a paw

Mo "Gipsy Mo, you can just call me Mo though. I'm a bard who wants to travel the land looking for the best food!"

Celine shakes the little paw of her friend

As they sit and eat soup Mo overhears a conversation

Roll for investigation

Mo = 1d20 = 12 + 1 = 13

Mo overhears something about a fish. A good tasting fish.

She looks around and spy's a man in the corner of the tavern. He is an old fisherman.

Mo "I'll be right back."

Mo heads over to the fisherman. Celine finishes her soup then follows.

Mo "hello sir! Hope you are well!"

He grumbles

Mo " did i overhear you talking about some special fish?"

Roll for persuasion

Mo = 1d20 = 6 + 7 = 13 pass

The man adjusts himself then speaks in a low rough voice.

"Ah… the fish of everlasting. The mythical fish of the darkest swamp. It is said you can prepare the fish as food and within a day where the bones lay a new everlasting fish will stay." He leans back in his chair. "In all my years… I have never been able to locate or catch the thing. Keeping it to its mythical status."

Mo's ears perk up at this.

Mo "So this fish…do you have any other information?"

The man shakes his head.

Celine "thank you sir-"

"You can speak to the fishery guild for more information. The guild base resides in sashimi." He pulls out a map and points to a seaside town to the west. "Keep the map, i'm finished with my adventuring."

The girls thank the man and leave the tavern.

#d&d #d&d 5e #dnd #dnd 5e homebrew #eghost dnd #ttrpg #momo dnd #pt 1 #writing #d&d homebrew #dnd campaign

[tearsandbloodstain]

finding the person you want to be in the kitchen with

someone once said that love is finding people to be in the kitchen with. that brings me back to you and I standing in your kitchen while you cooked and you told me about your day. Oh how I wished that moment could’ve lasted forever. I dream of a day where I could cook for the people I love with such true enjoyment. Just look at you as I stir my homemade potato soup, or bake a cake with your arms wrapped around me from behind, or sit and drink coffee with you in the morning. Someone also once said that eating an orange shows how much someone cares about people, if that makes sense, it does to me. Because if I were to have an orange, I would give you every other piece I peeled from the center, just so you wouldn’t have to peel your own. I would love to love you in the way you deserve, with patience and a strong heart to protect you from the pain that is pushed onto you. I would wait for you to be ready and whole but i’m scared that when you get there, I won’t be a thought. It’s a painful fate to always be reminded of your failures. but i can’t tell you how painful it is to watch your failures happen over and over and over. I wish I could hold you until all your broken pieces become one again because you don’t deserve to hurt. When you ask me what my definition of love is, it is the strength to hold your partner up when they feel like falling, or coming up with possible solutions for their irrational fears, or being there for every high and low, love is never going to bed angry but also knowing things cannot be perfectly better within a night. When you’re building something with someone you are gonna see everything, you are gonna see their flaws and their pain and their happiness and their hurt but the beautiful thing about that is that you learn how to be your partners rock, their lover and their friend all at once.

~ a.s.d 2023

#poetry #love #love poem #poemsbyme #poem

[thedisneychef]

What Recipes Use Heavy Cream? Delicious and Creative Ideas

Hi there! If you're looking for something delicious to make, heavy cream is a great ingredient to include. It adds flavor and richness to so many dishes, from creamy sauces to decadent desserts. In this article, I'll give you some ideas of what recipes use heavy cream that are sure to please your taste buds. Heavy cream has been used in the kitchen for centuries - it's definitely one of the most popular ingredients out there! Whether you want an easy dinner recipe or something special for dessert, chances are good that adding a little bit of heavy cream will do the trick. Read on to learn more about using this versatile dairy product in all kinds of tasty dishes. Soups And Stews I'm a big fan of soups and stews, especially when I want something warm and comforting on a cold day. Slow-cooking is the only way to go if you're looking for an amazing flavor. With some heavy cream thrown in, your soup or stew will be even better! Adding heavy cream gives any dish a rich and creamy texture. It's also great for thickening up all kinds of recipes, like chowders or bisques. You can use it as a topping too - just drizzle over the top before serving and you'll have folks asking what your secret ingredient is! When life gets busy, nothing beats coming home to a cozy dinner with family and friends. Soups and stews are perfect for those occasions because they require minimal prep time (thanks slow cooking!) but still provide that delicious comfort food feeling we all crave from time to time. Adding heavy cream takes them to the next level - enjoy! Dips And Sauces I love making dips and sauces with heavy cream because it adds an amazing richness of flavors to them. The creaminess of the ingredients helps to create a velvety smooth texture that's infused with aromas I can't get enough of. Whether its garlic, basil, or any other herbs or spices, they all come together perfectly when you use heavy cream in your recipes. One dish I make is a roasted red pepper sauce that turns out so delicious every single time. It starts by roasting some bell peppers and adding them to a blender along with onion, garlic cloves, olive oil, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper. Then I add a few tablespoons of heavy cream before blending until everything comes together into one creamy consistency. As soon as this sauce is ready it's like no other! With such intense flavors from the peppers combined with sweetness from the sugar - this recipe will have you coming back for more over and over again! Baked Goods When it comes to baking, heavy cream can be used in a variety of recipes. Its high fat content makes it perfect for creating light and fluffy cakes, cupcakes, and other desserts. Biscuits and scones are also popular treats that benefit from the addition of heavy cream. While some recipes call for simply adding the cream to the dry ingredients prior to baking, there are plenty of ways you can get creative with cooking methods and flavor combinations. For example, try replacing part or all of the butter in your favorite cookies recipe with heavy cream. The result will likely be an even softer cookie than usual! You could also whip up some homemade ice-cream or frozen yogurt by combining sweetened heavy cream with various fruits or flavors like chocolate or vanilla extract. For something more savory, use it in place of milk when making mashed potatoes; they'll come out extra creamy and flavorful! No matter how you choose to incorporate heavy cream into your kitchen creations, these rich and indulgent recipes are sure to please everyone's taste buds! Puddings And Custards I'm a sucker for puddings and custards. Not only are they delicious, but you can dress them up with all sorts of flavored creams and cheesy fillings. Whether I'm entertaining guests or just looking for a sweet treat to indulge in during the weekend, these recipes have me covered! Take this classic vanilla pudding recipe as an example: it calls for heavy cream combined with eggs, sugar, and cornstarch until thickened. The result is a creamy and smooth dessert that's made even more delightful when topped off with fresh whipped cream or chocolate shavings. It's simple yet oh-so-satisfying! If you're feeling adventurous, why not give my spin on tiramisu a try? This version uses mascarpone cheese mixed with egg whites instead of the traditional heavy cream mixture. A dash of coffee liqueur gives it an extra kick while cocoa powder keeps it light and fluffy - perfect after dinner indulgence! Ice Creams And Frozen Treats I love making frozen treats at home, especially when I can use heavy cream. With a little bit of creativity and some simple ingredients you can make delicious desserts to enjoy all summer long. Fruit smoothies are one of my favorite recipes that require heavy cream. By blending fresh fruit with ice, sugar and the cream, I have an amazing treat in minutes! It's also easy to get creative by adding different flavors like vanilla or even chocolate for something extra special. For those hot days, nothing beats homemade ice popsicles made with heavy cream. All you need is your choice of juice or puree mixed together with the cream – it's so creamy and delicious! You can try experimenting with different flavors as well as mix-ins like coconut flakes or nuts for added texture. And if you want something healthier, why not try yogurt instead? Whatever way you decide to go, these frozen treats will be sure to delight everyone this summer! Frequently Asked Questions What Is The Shelf Life Of Heavy Cream? When it comes to storage solutions, the shelf life of heavy cream depends on its fat content. Full-fat heavy cream typically lasts between two and three weeks when stored in the refrigerator or up to 12 months if frozen. Low-fat options may last a little longer since they have less fat that can go bad. It’s important to note that while these are guidelines, you should always check for signs of spoilage before using any type of dairy product. What Is The Nutritional Content Of Heavy Cream? If you're curious about the nutritional content of heavy cream, you can rest assured that it's packed with fat and calories. A single tablespoon contains 51 calories and 5.3 grams of fat, so if you're watching your calorie intake or trying to maintain a low-fat diet, try to limit how much heavy cream you use! How Can Heavy Cream Be Substituted For Other Dairy Products? When you need a dairy substitute for heavy cream, there are plenty of options! If you're looking to make creamy sauces, yogurt or sour cream can be substituted in equal parts. For baking, evaporated milk is a great choice that'll still provide your dish with the right texture and flavor. Coconut cream is also an option if you want something vegan-friendly. Whichever one you choose, these substitutes should work as well as heavy cream! How Much Heavy Cream Should Be Used In A Recipe? When it comes to using heavy cream in a recipe, the amount you use will depend on what the outcome should be. If you're looking for a creamy texture, then you'll need more than if you were just substituting it for another dairy product. Generally speaking, when substituting heavy cream for other dairy products like milk or yogurt, start with about half as much and adjust from there depending on your desired consistency. Can Heavy Cream Be Used In Savory Dishes? Yes, heavy cream can be used in savory dishes! Heavy cream is a great way to add an indulgent richness and creamy texture to any dish. It's particularly suited for sauces, as it adds a wonderful thickness that makes the sauce extra luxurious. However, if you're looking for dairy free alternatives or just want to lighten up your meal, there are plenty of other options to make creamy sauces. Try using almond milk or cashew cream instead - they provide a similar velvety texture without all the added fat. Conclusion In conclusion, heavy cream is an incredibly versatile dairy product that can be used in a variety of recipes to add richness and flavor. It has a long shelf life when stored correctly, making it the perfect ingredient for any kitchen. Heavy cream packs a nutritional punch with its high fat content, so it should be enjoyed in moderation as part of a well-rounded diet. When substituting it for other dairy products, keep in mind how much heavier it is and adjust accordingly. Finally, don't limit yourself to just desserts – there are plenty of savory dishes that make delicious use of heavy cream too! With all these benefits, why not try adding some heavy cream into your next recipe? Read the full article

[ekoilemartinwrite]

Journal January 5, 2023

I just left after volunteering my time at the data center the first time. The day center at my church, I arrived at nine and left at about 150 in the afternoon. Barbara is correct, you could not make up the stories if you try. No one would believe that. I can already tell that some people there are absolute characters. I heard about someone and took her son at this moment son who, they both need a walker in order to move unless they've had alcohol in which case they can move freely and completely.

I wore my boots, I need different boots. I want to say I need to open toed boots, but I think what I need is zero trough boots, that will let my toes appropriately spread out. I've worked all day on my feet

Once, I know what being on my feet should feel that I hello, my lower back hurts.

I got woken up this morning earlier at Ornish, Sucre. I pray for about an hour that I feel like I got told to go back to bed. I chose in and out of sleep until around eight. I had not set my alarm, which I will do now on. Ashley is actually one woke me up phone call at 8 AM.

– And I seem to have come to a reasonable meeting of the minds regarding money. She's going to continue paying the rents, and that technically will be my income from which I will time. That I think will actually handle most of my monthly expenses not counting taxes. I still need to check to see what my guy has said about my savings.

In the past week Ash and I had been fighting about it a lot. She got hired, but I congratulated for a number four, then five minutes later I started talking about tithing. I do not handle it well. She is understandably upset, considering that she justifiably feels that I lied to her which was not consciously intentional, but practically, for all practical measures is what happened. She proposed the solution of just continuing to pay rent, and from that I will try.

For my first day in the day center, I started off by wiping down tables, and then I spent most the day in the kitchen just serving coffee serving whatever meal people asked for. We had some soup we had some toast with the, with the options of peanut butter, jelly, butter, we also had oatmeal, soup, baked potato, baked sweet potato, those last two were microwaved., Several different kinds of bread. I currently find it striking that I am more easily able to list off the food and items I dealt with rather than the people I dealt with. I know that it used to be true. I feel like I stored a significant chunk of my brain into memorizing the names of people and their faces.

Really was there today, I also saw Pastor Heather. I wish them both a happy new year. Barbara, saw, and Donnie were there. I also saw Garrett's, who is in charge of social services. Donny and I talked a little bit about poetry, and the next poetry meeting. Barbara is a gem. She may have the attitude of being the class clown, but she also has a knack and skill, of interacting with people. Right now, I feel like a wet blanket. I don't feel like I have the skill of interacting with a lot of different people, or bringing moods up.

I'm not certain that any particular tricks for tips are going to help me with this group. I don't think trying to be or charismatic will help. I mean, it might but only to a certain extent. It still something worth looking into. But I think maybe learning this group of people will be more helpful. Just this learning people's names, I know I recognize faces from people of the church, not being afraid to just stay in the kitchen. They mentioned how on Tuesdays there are Mormon missionaries who come to spend time it be helpful.. They would worth it would be worthwhile to be there to observe and learn that.

I am beginning to realize what I have done. I left my job. I have not been without one, really, since I left school. And even that, searching for a job was my job. And before school, school was my job. I have yet to actually figure out what my job is right now, beyond writing, and obeying God. The second is it's a job, it's a joy. At least I keep telling myself that, sometimes it is not fun. I'm just realizing how much of who I am as a person, and how much my job dictated my time.

#journal #unedited audio journal #reflection #journey #prayer #unedited #audio journal #unedited journal #writer #writers on tumblr #journaling #journalling

[reciperesolutions]

Feast of the Seven Fishes!

I think from now on, each year, I’ll just copy notes from the year before’s post and add to/edit accordingly. That’ll make it much easier to track and then look up for reference in the next year to come! :)

Most of the courses were good enough that I just carried them over from last year. I did my big shop the Wednesday before and was going to plan out my day-of strategy ahead of time...but just ended up using the same guide I scribbled out last year. (It was so effective - no need to reinvent the wheel!) I started prepping/cooking at 9 am morning of…and basically didn’t stop until nearly 7 pm. It was a long - but stress-free - day, as I mostly had enough time to get everything done. We added arranged seating with name cards, which took a few minutes to work out - luckily, though, almost everyone was late, haha, so it all ended up working out fine. For a 6 pm dinner, though, better to start closer to 8:30 and limit breaks!

All of my notes from last year’s recipes + a few updates are included below, including how many multiples I recommend for each recipe based on number of guests (keeping in mind these portions are in the context of a 7-course dinner). General notes follow!!

COURSE 1: Drinks and appetizers - guest supplied! I considered trying a new recipe - like bite-sized crab cakes - but ultimately decided to just leave this to the guests. It turned out great! All apps were fish themed in one way or another, and asking for white wine worked out perfectly, too, to kick off the night (with extra bonus points for fish-theme-labeled wine)!

COURSE 2: Seafood Chowder. Based on recipe comments, I modified the original recipe by substituting the evaporated milk for 1 can of creamed corn + 1 cup of heavy cream, seasoned heavily with S&P (like, probably 1 tbsp of each - taste to confirm!), and 3 tbsp of Old Bay.

I didn’t peel the potatoes (totally fine!) and chopped rather than diced them - they and the fish will break up once you start mixing/transferring things. After it was basically done cooking, I transferred from the stove to the crockpot and kept on warm - this was great to free up my big pot, as well as get it at perfect serving temp. Ultimately transferred it to my soup serving bowl and had my sous chef walk around the table with me for serving: people served themselves from the bowl, then I topped with crumbled thick cut bacon (prepped the morning of) and a dash of Old Bay.

15 people or fewer = x1 recipe is plenty

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/12732/fish-chowder/?internalSource=hub%20recipe&referringContentType=Search&clickId=cardslot%203

COURSE 3: Caesar Kale Salad. This year I made the dressing in the morning and didn’t add it to the kale until right before serving. Julienning the kale was a great task for early party arrivers :) I also accidentally doubled the amount of garlic year 1 (half was supposed to be for the croutons) but it was just as fantastic as you’d expect - this is the only way to do it.

I just did a sheet pan of large-chopped sourdough bread to make fresh croutons. Right out of the oven, I tossed them with some XVOO, S&P, and a lot of parm. Might be better to toss them with XVOO before they go in the oven? But they were good, and one large loaf of bread from Wegman’s was the perfect amount to match 15 people.

Also, don’t bother trying to use tongs to mix the dressing with the kale and croutons. Just dig right in with your hands. Sooo much faster and more effective. I also used 100% of the dressing to dress the salad, not a spec leftover. This was perfect. If you change the proportions, just go generous on the dressing side of things and store anything that’s leftover for another meal. (#worthit - though it starts tasting a little weird after 1-2 days.)

15 people = x3 recipe for dressing (use all garlic and parm called for); 2 large bunches of kale; 6-8 cups of oven-baked croutons

6 people = x2 recipe for dressing; 1 large bunch of kale; 3-4 cups of croutons

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/14172/caesar-salad-supreme/?internalSource=hub%20recipe&referringContentType=Search&clickId=cardslot%2010

COURSE 3: Mediterranean stuffed, roasted red peppers with homemade ricotta. Always a win! I cooked these in the afternoon, then warmed the oven to 300 as we were nearing guest arrival time. That kept them good and warm (which is excellent), also out of the way. Tenting them with foil is also handy once they’re out if they aren’t served right away!

15 people = x2 recipe (genuinely only x1 recipe for ricotta, though)

https://reciperesolutions.tumblr.com/post/186616160460/roasted-red-peppers-and-cherry-tomatoes-with

COURSE 4: Charred asparagus with citrus bagna cauda sauce. This is a fantastic dish - but I HAVE to pay attention to making the sauce right! It’s sooo simple yet I keep misstepping (messed it up year 1 by adding the juice too early; messed it up this year by only doing one portion of juices or zest for an otherwise quadrupled recipe!).

Best way is to make the sauce a few hours ahead of time (up to the point of removing from heat THEN mixing in ALL the citrus juices) then just reheated it all right from the pan right before serving.

Don’t bother trying to broil the asparagus - it’s not worth it if you’re making more than one batch. Just do it all on the grill! Then throw the asparagus into the oven at 300 with the roasted red peppers to keep them warm prior to serving. Used my mini food processor to chop the almonds, and this worked really well for the right texture: a lot of little crumbles and just a few medium chunks. This is an AWESOME dish!

15 people = x4 recipe

6 people = x2 recipe

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/char-broiled-asparagus-with-citrus-bagna-cauda

COURSE 5: Girelle and shrimp with sundried tomato cream sauce. Consistently a showstopper, no question!! For a double batch, I used the beer boil kettle (giant pot) on top of a stepstool with the giant beer brewing spoon we have in order to mix it all...this probably could have been managed in my regular pasta pot, though it would have been close.

Key is to remove the shrimp when they are about half cooked (and no more), as to really get the sauce to the right glistening consistency before serving, it requires ample time and patience stirring with the shrimp and pasta all together. I think next year, I might try sundried tomatoes in XVOO rather than from an airtight bag - maybe also throw in a little Romano to give the sauce some extra body. ¾# pasta to 1# medium shrimp is also the correct portion (I’ve done large shrimp in the past but I think med would be a little better), so this does require a little math given the unusual pasta bag sizes.

I used the wok for the shrimp, which worked perfectly, and basically cooked the shrimp as people were coming in (then tented the big beer pot I was mixing things into with foil). When I served the asparagus and peppers, I put the water on for the pasta and also started working on the sauce. All of this becomes super easy and pretty fast if you have the ingredients portioned out and ready to go before everyone sits down at the beginning of the feast!

15 people = x2 recipe

12 people or fewer = x1 recipe (by the time this course comes around, there’s not a lot of room left!)

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/pasta-with-shrimp-in-tomato-cream

COURSE 6: Salmon with red pepper-walnut sauce. Definite crowd pleaser (even to the non-salmon-lovers)! For 11 fillets this year, I bought FRESH salmon from Wegman’s (never been frozen!) and I think it was worth it. We cut the fillets in half so they were square (a non-traditional cut from the traditional fillet shape) and this was great, both for cooking and serving (sauce on top). Came to 4-6 oz fillets per person. And you can definitely cook to the minimum times recommended for the fillets.

I prepped the fillets ahead of time (as people were arriving), and the sauce was whipped up in the blender, ready to be cooked down once the fillets were finished. This turned out great, as it meant minimal time away from the table for the final course prep. (Just tent the fillets as the sauce is cooking down.)

15 people = x4 recipe (just math it to max 1 piece of salmon per person - by the time we get to salmon, no one has room for anything more than that lol)

https://reciperesolutions.tumblr.com/post/613784150286237696/pan-seared-salmon-with-red-chili-walnut-sauce

General notes:

1) Prepping it all in advance is gold. Reusing my general schedule (reviewed the night before) of when I’m prepping/cooking what day-of is gold. Having salad stuff for people to help with upon arrival is gold. Having all cooking ingredients portioned out for the final two courses to just throw on the stove while everyone’s eating is gold.

3) When people ask what they can bring: “White wine or a fish-themed dessert! Or if you’re feeling really ambitious, an appetizer (but it’s gotta have fish in it)!” We also bought an extra box of white wine in advance, and that rounded us out perfectly.

4) Drinks at 5:30. Dinner at 6. Make sure this is included in the initial invitation so everyone knows when to show up!

5) I served the courses in waves again this year: app as people arrived, then soup + salad, then peppers + asparagus, then pasta + salmon. (I like the waves concept rather than just everything on the table at one time.) This year, thanks to good advanced prepping (/extra time since people almost all arrived late, haha) and things warming in the oven, I got lots of table time - and the break before the main entrees was barely noticeable! (Though we had a party game planned just in case.)

6) I used 46 cloves of garlic. Bought it peeled and ready to go. Worth it, lol.

7) Best to do the big shop Wednesday the week-of, at the earliest (Thursday is probably better). Gives you enough time in case they’re out of anything, yet ensures the integrity of some of the produce; if you do it Thursday, it also means you can buy the fish fresh instead of frozen (salmon and cod). The cod can probably be frozen no problem, but the fresh salmon was really excellent if a reasonable option. (If high quality frozen’s the only option - good option still! - just keep in mind it’s super annoying to tear apart individual wrappers.)

8) Expect leftovers. Reserve leftovers for us FIRST, then give away at will! :)

9) 15 is a big number to cook for. Double check all ‘staples’ being used: we had to do a last minute run/neighbor call for Old Bay and Vermouth, since my regular on-hand stash was only half of what was needed for so many portions. Also, I slept in an extra five hours the next day: Plan for nothing the next morning and a generally low-key Sunday.

10) We did seat arrangements this year with little handwritten nameplates. Took a few minutes to work it out; it turned out great to balance the table! With 11 people, people on opposite ends didn’t interact much with each other (good place for the introverts!) but basically everyone else had a larger interaction-radius than I expected (2 people L&R, 3-4 people across).

11) After all the main courses, I did a cute little trivia (‘guess how many pounds of fish,’ ‘guess how many anchovies,’ ‘guess how many cloves of garlic’), then had the people with the closest guesses reach under their chairs - for a little trinket prize! (Spoiler: all the seats had trinkets under them :) For people new to the table, there were cute little pop-open mini-cards. For veteran Feasters, I printed out little photos (~2″x3″) of them+us from sometime over the last year. Everyone got a little candy cane wrapped up, too. It was great! I was originally trying to find crackers to put on everyone’s place setting this year (since I’d done the pop-up cards last year - didn’t want to repeat) but couldn’t find any. Not a big deal, though - I really liked how the photos turned out! I liked this little layer added in, and the nameplates worked well to personalize everyone’s.

I’ve hosted a LOT of potlucks in my time but really liked the sit-down-dining style of this dinner party with the multi-courses. Definitely a lot of work to do regularly but worth it once a year! Also one of the most interesting observations for me was being very full by the end of the night but not totally overstuffed and feeling grossly overeaten. I like to think that’s a testament to the well designed menu and dishes that - save one or two with some cream - were really pretty healthy. We also had a GREAT turnout for appetizers (goldfish snack!) and dessert (two parties brought tiyaki)! All in all, a WILD success and I can’t wait until Christmas next year!!

#feastofthesevenfishes #fishesdishes #feast #xmas #fish