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#what if in every universe we were meant to be together but the only universe were we actually got to be happy was the one we were both boys
cutielando · 2 days
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mr. and mrs. ~ oscar piastri
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Summary: Wedding of the year is finally here between the two favorite youngsters on the grid. Everyone is invited!
Words: 1.3k+
Other works: my masterlist
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Oscar and Y/N.
Y/N and Oscar.
Everyone knew them, everyone loved them.
Ever since the young Australian lad had entered the Formula 1 world, Y/N had entered it with him. Always by his side, always attending his races while also attending university.
They had been together for many years, practically having invented the term “highschool sweethearts”. Despite Oscar’s busy schedule and Y/N being at university, they always made it work, never letting the distance affect their relationship.
Moving together to the UK had represented the first sign that they were both in it for the long ride. Packing up their entire lives and moving across the globe to follow their dreams proved that their relationship and the love they had was real.
Real and pure.
When Oscar got the opportunity to drive in Formula 1 and Y/N started her studies, the time they spent together shortened by a significant amount, but they managed to make it work.
They talked on the phone every day, texting when neither of them could speak on the phone, they took every opportunity to visit each other when they had free time, with Y/N visiting Oscar at his races or Oscar coming home when he would have 2 weeks off between races.
They made it work.
But Oscar wasn’t satisfied. He needed something more. He needed something that would put his mind at ease when he would be away.
He needed to officially make you his.
Towards the end of the season, you had a few weeks off uni and decided to join your boyfriend in Qatar for the Grand Prix.
You hadn’t really chosen the best race to attend, the heat and the humidity making it really strenuous on your already tired body. But seeing the smile that Oscar had while doing the grid walk with you by his side made it worth it.
Being there for Oscar’s sprint win had been the highlight of your entire year. Seeing him cross the checkered flag first, seeing his name on that first position on every monitor around the paddock, the feeling was unlike anything you had ever felt before.
Up until the moment Oscar got out of the car.
He made his way over to where you were waiting for him after he celebrated a little with the team, taking off his helmet and balaclava and giving them to one of his assistants.
“How about that?” he asked, chuckling as he pulled you into his arms, careful not to squeeze you too tightly because he was sweaty.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Os. I can’t believe I was here for your first win” you said, your voice muffled because you had your face buried in the crook of his neck.
“It’s technically not considered a win bec-”
“Shut up and enjoy the moment” you interrupted, making him chuckle and continue hugging you.
As he let go of you, you didn’t notice him reaching for something behind his back, not even his assistant subtly handing him something as he appeared again from the garage. All you could focus on was him, and nothing else around you.
It only really hit you when Oscar lowered himself down on one knee in front of you, a red velvet box in his hand.
“Oh my God” you said, your eyes widening and your hands flying up to your mouth.
All around you, the McLaren team gathered in a circle, phones ready and cameras rolling to catch the sweet moment on camera.
“Y/N, I don’t even know whether words will suffice to say what I want to say right now. You’ve been by my side since we were kids, you moved to the UK with me and left your entire family in Australia just for me, and I can’t even begin to explain how much that meant to me. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, I frankly don’t think I could survive on my own if you weren’t here. I want to grow old with you, I want to have kids with you and build the life we’ve always talked about having. Y/N, will you marry me?” the words got stuck in your throat, so you settled for nodding feverishly.
The entire team around you cheered, but you could only see Oscar. As he got up and slid the ring on your left hand, you threw yourself into his arms and softly cried, the moment far too emotional to be able to hold back.
Your engagement had become national news in a matter of a couple of hours. Every media channel from the world had written about Oscar’s proposal in Qatar, speculating about when the wedding would be and whatnot.
It didn’t even feel like it had really happened when you stared at the ring on your finger, the feeling foreign but so welcome and like it was meant to be.
You and Oscar had multiple talks about when you would get married, where you would have the wedding and many other problems that came with being away from home and everyone’s families.
Which is why you decided to have the wedding back home in Australia.
After the season was finished and the winter break came, you and Oscar had started planning the wedding, which you settled to have after the last race before the summer break. He had already sent invitations out to the rest of the drivers, all of them very eager to attend the young lad’s wedding.
Lando was especially thrilled, but couldn’t help making jokes about how he had never thought Oscar would be the one getting married so young.
“What did you do to him, Y/N? You charmed him pretty damn well” he’d always joke whenever you guys would hang out in the garage before a race.
Yours and Oscar’s mothers took care of most of the things regarding the venue, the flower arrangements and catering, wanting to take the load off of you while you were halfway across the world.
The only thing that you had to worry about was picking your wedding dress and flying over to Australia to get married.
And when the day had finally come, excitement flowed through your veins.
Nicole and Oscar’s sisters had helped do your hair and make-up, your mother only watching as she sobbed quietly in the background.
“Mom, you’re gonna make me cry too if you don’t stop” you told her as you watched her through your mirror, making the other girls laugh.
“I just can’t believe my baby is getting married” she laughed, wiping her tears and walking up to stand behind you.
You smiled and took her hand, mostly to calm your nerves as well.
You were really getting married. And to the love of your life, which was a plus.
After you were prepped and ready to go, your father came to fetch you to walk you down the aisle. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest as you held his arm tightly and clutched the flower bouquet tightly in your other hand.
But your nerves disappeared like they had never even been there when the doors opened and you locked eyes with Oscar waiting for you at the end of the aisle, Logan beaming behind him as his best man.
The ceremony went by in a blur, the only focus on your part being on Oscar. You only vaguely remembered saying your vows and saying “I do”, your memory only having imprinted the first kiss you two shared as husband and wife.
You were positive that nothing could ever top this moment, getting married with all of your friends and families present, stepping into your new life with Oscar by your side.
Nothing could ever be better.
Nothing could top you becoming Mrs. Piastri.
Being Mr. and Mrs. Piastri.
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casiavium · 7 months
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soft yaoi toxic yuri I'm actually foaming at the mouth and not in a good way
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explicit-tae · 6 months
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Ungodly Hour: Day 1
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You and Jungkook are together for the whole weekend. All he truly wanted from you was to admit you were his girl - but like always, he had to fuck it out of you. @swga-ficrecs @rrrapmonste-rr @xtrataerrestrial @bangctans @danielle143 @taekritimin123 @thelilbutifulthings @jksjx
Series Masterlist
word count: 3.675
warning: dirty talk, nipple sucking, slight kissing, neck biting, edging, face-slapping, cocky/jealous/possessive/dominant jungkook, bitchy/shit-talking but submissive reader, creampie, crying, begging,
“You cooked this?” your mother is first to ask once she bites into the meat, eyes growing slightly wide. “It tastes amazing.”
Jungkook gives a toothy grin and nods. “I added a secret sauce that my father has taught me.” 
You want to roll your eyes at Jungkook.
Dinner was going by smoothly. Around 20 minutes ago, your parents arrived. Your father appeared much the same, nonchalant and just ready to eat. Your mother did most of the talking. Her eyes roamed the apartment with prying eyes. She asked Jungkook and you questions after questions, all of which Jungkook responded to quickly and without hesitation. 
“How did you two really meet?” your mother asks after a moment. “I assume it couldn’t have been tweeter.”
You scoff. “No. It was not twitter.”
Jungkook places a hand atop yours and laughs. He wraps his fingers into your own and eyes you. He then brings your hand up to his lips and places a gentle kiss. “We met at the University.” Jungkook nods. “She was so cold to me at first.”
Your mother shakes her head. “Typical of her.”
“I must’ve asked her out a million times. I was shut down each and every time. Right, baby?”
You want to snatch that smirk off of his lips, but you only roll your eyes. 
“I think she got tired of my begging and agreed to a date.” Jungkook turns to your mother. “Ever since then, I’ve been attached to her like a lost puppy.”
Your father listens, not interested in speaking, but interested enough to appear apart of the conversation. “I’m glad.” your mother speaks. She takes a sip of her water. “Y/N can be a little mean.”
You knit your brows, but before you can speak Jungkook cackles. “She can!” he agrees.
Oh wow, you think. 
“But that’s what I love about her. She’s feisty and stubborn.” Jungkook looks your way, his eyes burning into you. You glance away from them and grunt, feeling hot. “And she always speaks up for me at restaurants when they get my order wrong.”
“That was once.” you quip. “You asked for extra sauce…”
“I did.” Jungkook nods. “I thought she was going to rip someone’s head off.” he tells your mother jokingly. “At least I know she cares.”
Jungkook was right - he had won over your mother.
That was expected, however. Your mother was easy to please. Jungkook was the equivalent of tall, dark and handsome. He’s easy to speak with and was such a smooth talker that it even had her swooning. He was affectionate, often kissing your hand or your head - more than usual, but you told yourself he was milking this to the very end. 
Now, your father was a different story. He was able to engage the man into conversation and actually hold it, having your fathers full and undivided attention. That is when you realized that Jungkook meant what he said - that even if this fake dating didn’t end with the both of you actually dating, that Jungkook would be there regardless. Your mother was already inviting him to dinner the following week and even hugged him before leaving - before she hugged you. 
“I’ll see you two next week?” your mother asks as she’s strolling out the door.
Jungkook wraps you in a tight embrace, his head resting on your shoulder. “You will!” he responds to her, waving curtly. “Y/N tells me about your cooking all the time. I can’t wait!”
You grumble - it was all the time, but you weren’t aware Jungkook was actually listening to your random ramblings. He was slowly winning your mother over that you were sure she would have him for dinner even without you there.
“You think you’re cute?” you push Jungkook off of you once the door is shut. 
“Is that the thanks I get for making a good impression?”
You cross your arms. “You know what you were doing complimenting her the entire night.”
Jungkook smirks. “Like mother, like daughter. You both like my praises.” Jungkook’s hands are on you again, bringing you closer to him. “I have to keep myself on top if I’m going to be competing against these boyfriends.”
Your hands are against his chest to push him away. “Ugh, take me home.”
“You aren’t staying the weekend?” Jungkook pouts his lips slightly. “We have to finish binge watching Law & Order.”
“You’re right.” you sigh for a moment. “And here I thought I had a chance to get rid of you.”
“You never can.” Jungkook’s right hand slaps your ass. You yelp, but it was only a gesture to bring you closer to him. He pecks your lips. “Let’s get going. We have the entire weekend ahead of us.”
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The night shouldn’t have ended like this. You told yourself that you and Jungkook wouldn’t be entangled together - especially since you were watching Law & Order - there was no way Jungkook could ignore such an amazing series to get his cock wet.
But Jungkook had. 
It started with light touching. Jungkook’s bed is soft and it’s easy to be comfortable. He had gave you a shirt to wear - even if you had a weekend's worth of clothes - he insisted it would be best. You were certain he just wanted you in his shirt to appear more domesticated. 
Your first mistake was not wearing anything but the shirt and panties. Jungkook’s hands wandered upon your skin, his body dangerously close to yours. His hips would rut against your ass, prying hand going beneath the oversized shirt. “Just one kiss, Y/N. Don’t be like that.” was what he said - and you caved.
Of course it could never be one kiss. One peck led to him begging for more - and more. It led to him flipping you to face him, his hand squeezing the flesh of your ass to bring you closer to him. It continued with you being on top of him, tongues fighting against one another. His hands stayed upon your ass, rubbing gently as you and he kissed.
“We’re missing the show.” you protest, breaking free of the heated kiss. 
“We can always go back.” Jungkook eyes you with hooded eyes. “You look so pretty in my shirt.” he murmurs.
“Shut up, simp.” you roll your eyes jokingly.
“I can never compliment my girl without getting called a simp.” Jungkook tsks. His hands rub up your rib back down to your waist to your thighs. “It’s true, though. I wanna wake up with you like this every day.”
“I would have to actually be your girl for that to happen.” you retort. You gently grind against him, lips flashing him a mischievous grin. 
“You are my girl.” Jungkook hisses low, hands squeezing your hips to keep you firmly against him. “I got you in my shirt, don’t I?”
Jungkook and his logical comebacks. Damn him.
“I got you to stay with me this weekend, right?” Jungkook continues, his tongue coating his lips with moisture. 
“So?”
Jungkook manages to lift himself up without disrupting you. You and he are face to face now, your thighs caging him in between you. 
“So that makes you my girl.” Jungkook pecks your lips. “I know you like being called my girl, Y/N. Each time I say it you grind against me a little harder.”
Truly, fuck Jeon Jungkook because damn was he right.
“Exactly.” Jungkook murmurs, and for a second you believe he’s going to say something else - a comment that would indicate just how “down bad” you were for him. But no, Jungkook continues to stare at you.
You shift in his lap and with that, Jungkook blinks. “You’re really pretty.” 
You frown, knitting your brows together in an attempt to be annoyed - even if your heart did jolt. 
“My pretty girl.” Jungkook continues, his arms embracing you. “Far too stubborn to admit.”
“Is this how you ask out all your girls?” you snort, but feel yourself melting in his warm embrace. “Just demand for them to be with you?”
“There you go, Y/N.” Jungkook chuckles. “You go in that head of yours and start being delusional and fantasize me being with other girls.”
“Excuse me?” Delusional?
“Why are you adamant on me having multiple girls?” Jungkook gently kisses your forehead just because he knows it annoys you - his random acts of affection or kindness in a situation that is deemed “serious”.
You shrug your shoulders. “You fit the fuck boy aesthetic.” was all you say.
Jungkook snorts. “You think I have girls lining up to suck my dick in exchange for streaming services?”
You gasp. “We said we wouldn’t bring that up!” you hiss. 
“You’re right, baby. I’m sorry.” Jungkook smiles. “I just don’t see how you think I’m a fuck boy even now. I barked in order to meet your parents. I’m still getting laughed at in the groupchat.”
You suppress your own laughter, only giving Jungkook a grin.
“I basically fund your whole lifestyle. I think that’s far beyond a fuck boy.” Jungkook adds - but not in a way to throw it in your face or to appear as though you need him to. 
“A sugar daddy at best.” you shrug, but even you can’t help but laugh at the bewildered look on Jungkook’s face. “You do know you aren’t obligated to buy me things.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes - it was the same song and dance as before. He’d get you something he heard you speak about once a few days prior - you would insist it wasn’t a need, but the sparkle in your eyes was enough for him to keep doing it. 
“As my girl…” Jungkook places a kiss at the nape of your neck. “...it’s required of me to.”
“Until you get bored and throw me to the side.” you feel Jungkook’s teeth bite down on your neck. 
“You do everything but admit you like me, baby.” Jungkook presses you firmly against him. “I’m beginning to think that’s what you want me to do so you can remain in denial.”
Jungkook’s hands go beneath the large shirt of his you wore. Your skin is so soft and smooth - the both of you shudder. 
“You’re okay.” you murmur, biting your lip when you feel both of his hands engulf your breasts. 
“Just okay?” Jungkook’s tongue twirls on the spot he bit. “I can have you on your back begging for me in seconds, baby. Nothing about me is ‘just okay’.”
Your play hard to get was not going to last - especially not now. The cocky Jungkook was creeping in, and he knew that your words were nothing but bluffs.
“I’m sure I would be the same way with someone else.”
You couldn’t help it. It was a game for you at times to rile up Jungkook. He was the jealousy and competitive type - he had to prove that he was the best at any and everything he did. 
“You want me to fuck you so bad.” Jungkook chuckles, but you can hear the slight irritation in his voice - deep and raspy; ready to prove you wrong. You shudder slightly as goosebumps ride across your skin.
You really did. You were already wet enough, his hands and mouth adding to it. There was nothing like Jungkook fucking your petty words right out of you.
“You do this every time, Y/N.” Jungkook bites your neck harshly and you yelp, squirming. “You love messing with me. It must turn you on seeing me fuck the submission into you.”
You swallow thickly to suppress a moan. “I just give you what you want.” you shrug slightly. 
“What do I want?”
“Someone to moan for you no matter if it feels good or not.”
You were playing a dangerous game with Jungkook, but it just brings nothing but excitement through you. 
You yelp once more when you feel your hair being yanked. “You’re being a bitch again, baby.” Jungkook murmurs, but even he is amused by your attempts. You can never just tell him that you want him - never tell him that you want him to dominate. Instead, you deny or insinuate the opposite just to give him a reason to prove you wrong.
But Jungkook said it once before, he loved your ‘play hard to get’ game you played with him; when he had you it was much more satisfying. 
“Isn’t that what you like about me?” you tease, and even in the dim room - law and order playing ignored in the background - you are beautiful to him, eyes sparkling with mischief. 
“Love it.” Jungkook presses his lips firmly onto yours, his tongue sliding past your mouth. It’s quick and he’s rough, but you cannot protest. His hands are gripping your flesh so hard that you feel as though they’d leave a mark.
Jungkook yanks the shirt off of you, tongue instantly finding both of your breasts. Your legs are wrapped around him, his clothed cock pressing firmly against you.
“Why can’t you be normal?” Jungkook’s lips pops from your nipples, his tongue licking it furiously. “A normal girl would just tell me she wants me to be a little rough and not provoke it out of me.”
Jungkook grips both of your breasts into the palm of his hands and brings both of your nipples into his mouth.Your back arches at the warm sensation pooling through you. 
“I-I have to tell you how to fuck like a man?”
There was a new sensation when the words left your mouth and hit Jungkook’s ears. It’s a sensation that shoots straight to your core and leaves your cheek stinging.
The room is silent, Jungkook’s eyes wide watching your reaction for a moment. He’s ready to apologize for not thinking before he slaps you, but it’s your moan that draws him back to reality.
“You liked that?” Jungkook murmurs and you nod, biting your lip. Jungkook grunts, his mind wandering just how far you’d let him go.
Jungkook unwraps your legs from around him and removes himself from the bed. He drags you to the edge of it, you yelping at the sudden movement. Jungkook removes your panties and widens your legs. He’s cocky - through the flashing television light, he see’s how wet you are for him.
“Keep your eyes on me.” Jungkook demands.
You swallow, finding it difficult underneath his intense gaze. Jungkook lowers himself, burying his tongue deep within your folds. He forces your legs open each time you threaten to close them. His eyes are locked onto your fluttering ones, watching as you moan and cry for him. You were so beautiful for him - if only you’d allow him to admire your beauty. Oftentimes when he looked your way, you were quick to respond with a witty remark.
“Fuck…” you groan, breaking eye-contact just as he enters his fingers inside of you. You lay your head back and continue to pant. 
“You never allow me to treat you nicely.” Jungkook removes his tongue from your clit to spit on it, continuing his pumping. “If you’d let me, I would take good care of you.” Jungkook licks his lips, the wet sounds of your pussy like a melody to his ears. “But instead, you want to be a bitch. I don’t get it.”
“K-Kookie…” you draw out a moan, a hand cupping your breast. You can feel the familiar churning in your stomach. “I’m gonna cum-”
“No you aren’t.” Jungkook removes his fingers from inside of you, hand slapping your clit. 
Your eyes shoot open, your pussy clenching around nothing. “W-What-”
Your mouth is stuffed with Jungkook’s fingers, your tongue twirling around them. 
“See how good you taste?” Jungkook questions, removing his fingers to grip your chin tightly. “I would let you cum but…I’m sure you can always find someone else to do it. Since you enjoy faking so much.”
Your heart is pumping and you flush hot with embarrassment. You aren’t sure what to say - Jungkook had you beat. 
“Aw,” Jungkook chuckles. “You look so sad, baby. I can let you cum.”
You swallow, glancing away from Jungkook. 
“Is that what you want?”
You nod your head, but Jungkook wants to hear you. 
You yelp when your clit is slapped once more. “Use your words, baby.”
“Y-Yes!” you try not to moan and sound too desperate, but it’s inevitable. 
“Yes what, baby?” Jungkook’s already tugging his bottom half off, his underwear going along with it. His shirt is next, chisel abs in your line of vision that you groan at just the sight. “Tell me what you want, Y/N. You have a mouth any other time.”
Fuck Jeon Jungkook. 
Fuck Jeon Jungkook and his cocky attitude.
Fuck Jeon Jungkook and his amazing dick that has you following along with him. “Please fuck me.” you sigh in defeat. “Please make me cum, Kook.”
“With pleasure.” Jungkook is delighted. He slaps the top of his cock against your clit, licking his lips. “So wet. To think you said someone else can have you like this.”
Jungkook wasn’t going to let that go - you can only imagine how hard he was going to fuck-
“J-Jungkook…!” you shout in surprise at how hard he enters you, his thrusting increasing by the second. Your back slams against the bed with each thrust, and it only bounces back just as hard. 
“You can handle it, Y/N.” Jungkook hisses, fingernails digging into your flesh. “You don’t want me to be nice, you don’t want to be my girl…”
Your eyes roll to the back of your head, panting heavily. Jungkook’s tone appears serious - you’d have to ask later on if your words really got to him like they appeared to have. 
“I let you…fuck…” Jungkook’s head hangs, eyes unsure where to focus. Your breast bounced furiously in rhythm with his pounding. Your face is scrunched with pleasure, a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth. “...I let you sit on my face. I let you spend as much of my money as you’d like with no limit. I…”
Jungkook grips your chin once more, forcing you to focus on him. It’s difficult - Jungkook doesn’t allow you a second to breathe, but you don’t want him to. 
“And all I really ask you to be is my girl.”
It pains for him to remove himself from you - all he wants is to cum deep inside of you like you’d allow him before. But - his pride and ego got the best of him. If you were going to front as if you didn’t need him to cum, then you weren’t.
“Kook…” you cry in defeat, pussy once more clenching around nothing. 
Jungkook laughs, a dark glee in the tone. “And like I said before, Y/N…” your eyes flutter a bit looking at his face - dark lust filled eyes staring right into yours. “...I can have you on your back begging for me, can’t I?”
Fuck Jeon Jungkook.
Your chest heaves. “Fuck you.” you curse at how meek your voice appeared.
“I bet you’d like that baby.” Jungkook plays with your clit slightly. “You’re my girl, right?”
You lick your lips, thighs quivering. 
“Say it and I’ll let you cum.” Jungkook centers his tip at your entrance, thumb circling against your wet bud. “That’s all I want from you, baby. You can have anything you want from me…”
Jungkook enters you slowly this time. Your groan is long and deep, your hands reaching out to grab Jungkook’s bicep. 
“J-Jungkook.” you trail off - the pleasure now getting to you. You just wanted to cum by him - his hands, mouth, cock, whatever it took.
“Yes, baby?” Jungkook breathes - he’s unsure himself if he’d be able to last long like this and then his ego would be hurt (but then again, he wouldn’t have blueballs).
“Please make me cum, Kookie.” you wail, hot tears falling down your face. You had to look utterly pathetic weeping for dick. Jungkook’s ego was now going to skyrocket and this moment is something he would forever hold over your head - no jokes from you could ever be taken now. “I had you on your back crying for me, baby” - you can hear it now.
But - you were desperate. Jungkook was hot, his dick was amazing and you’d allow him to have this over you. 
“I’m your girl, Kookie.”
Jungkook shudders - and now he’s truly satisfied. He pounds into you sloppily, certain that neither of you were going to last long. You’re clenching around him so heavenly, moaning and crying his names that he cannot help but want to cum inside of you each and every time. 
“I know you’re close, baby.” you hear Jungkook say, his forehead - moist with sweat - pressed onto yours. “We can come together, okay?”
“Y-Yea…” you nod, but you wrap your arms around Jungkook and press your lips against his. You’re groaning against the kiss, already cumming on his cock.
Jungkook feels the electric shock go through him and he shudders. With a few more thrusts, Jungkook cums inside of you, trembling at the sensation.
Ten minutes it’s what it took for you and Jungkook to come back to reality. You’re sweaty and you haven’t even done anything.
“You wanna shower?” Jungkook’s voice pipes in. “Are you okay? I didn’t go too overboard, right?”
You nod your head. “I’m okay.” you murmur. 
Jungkook nods. He kisses your temple. “I can start the shower for you-”
“You aren’t coming?” you ask once you feel Jungkook shuffle on the bed.
“I-I..” Jungkook’s eyes are wide and doe like. He appears completely surprised that you offered such a thing. “You’d like me to?”
You laugh at his expression. How you manage to remove yourself from the bed is beyond you - your legs are shaking with pain that you’re not upset about. 
Jungkook feels your hands against his bare chest and he tilts his head, awaiting your response. “I said I was your girl, wasn’t I?” you murmur, sending a kiss to his chest.
In seconds, Jungkook is erect again at just the admission. 
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dudeitiskarev · 26 days
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I Want to Hold Your Hand | Aaron Hotchner
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x bau female reader
Summary: Hotch sends you home and you almost die, which only makes him realize how much he truly loves you.
Word count: 2.4k.
Tags/warnings: hurt/little comfort; season 1 Hotch my beloved <3; canon typical violence; Haley and Jack don’t exist in this universe oopsies; angst with happy ending; Hotch is a baby; probably very inaccurate medical talk bc all I know is from Grey’s; not beta read + English isn’t my first language so good luck with that.
Author’s note: remember when I said I was probably done writing for a Hotch? Turns out all I had to do was stop taking my antidepressant 🙄 anyway, don’t get your hopes high. I just needed to take a break from my never-ending Spence fic so I wrote this. Which is basically a rewrite of what happened with Elle. I just wanted to make Hotch suffer a little so I hope you like it!
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A few hours ago, Aaron kissed the top of your head and sent you back to the hotel with a police officer.
Now, he was in a hospital waiting room with his heart in his throat, hoping the doctor would show up with good news.
You’d been attacked in your hotel room, and it was his fault.
“They’re gonna set up a bed for you in her room.” Jason walked in with a cup of coffee for Aaron. His fourth one already.
“She’s… not out of surgery yet,” Aaron shut his eyes. “We don’t know if —”
“The hospital chief, I know him.” Gideon sort of smiled. “I asked him if he could go check on her. All I know is that they’re closing her up now.”
The words began to sound far and faded as if Aaron was underwater. His vision blurred and his legs would’ve given up if he wasn’t sitting down already.
It was his soul returning to his body.
He didn’t want to get his hopes high, though. If they were closing you up it meant you were alive, but nothing else. There could be a hundred things wrong with you while being alive.
All he could do was nod and put his hands together over his lips like a prayer.
You were alive.
“The doctor should be here with the updates any minute now.” Jason sat next to Aaron and gave him a gentle tap on his back.
Gideon knew. Even when Hotch hadn’t told anyone about his feelings—not even you—he spent most of his day with profilers so of course the best one in his team knew about it.
“I’m heading back to the hotel soon,” Gideon continued. “See what the hell happened. Why… How did they let the unsub enter her room. Garcia should be landing soon. We need to check every security camera.” He smacked his tongue in disappointment and shook his head.
Aaron rose from his seat and tried his best to at least let his shoulders relax but every bit of him had turned into concrete.
“Where are Reid and Morgan?” He asked, pacing back and forth and stretching his neck from one side to the other. Even in moments like this, he needed to know where the rest of his people were. Especially in moments like this.
“Back at the local PD,” Gideon answered.
“JJ?”
“She’s talking to the hotel manager, making sure none of the employees makes any declaration to the press before we catch the guy.”
Aaron nodded, and soon, the doctor walked into the room with the updates.
“Surgery was a success,” he began. “We managed to repair all the damage and save her lung. Now, she flatlined once in the ambulance and then again during surgery so her brain has been through a lot.”
It wasn’t the time to profile anyone, but the way the doctor couldn’t keep eye contact for longer than two seconds told Aaron he was aiming at something more serious.
“Just tell us.” Aaron rubbed his thumb with his fingers.
“She’s not breathing on her own yet and according to her EEG, her last exam, her brain is swollen. It may take her a while to wake up.” The doctor gulped. “If she wakes up.”
Aaron’s entire world crumbled once again. He pinched the bridge of his nose and walked to a corner to pull himself together.
This was his fault. You might never wake up and it was his fault.
“When can we see her?” Gideon asked for him.
“You can see her now but… you need to be prepared. A machine is breathing for her. There’s a tube down her throat and it might be a lot to look at.”
Just picturing you like that turned his stomach upside down.
God, if you don’t ever wake up—
“She’s gonna wake up.” Penelope’s voice entered the room and so did the light she carried everywhere.
She was one of Aaron’s comfort people. If Penelope was there, there was hope.
“Garcia,” Jason said in a don’t tone.
“She’s strong.” Penelope walked up to Hotch anyway. “And people wake up from comas. Miracles happen and—” Her eyes filled with tears once she touched Hotch’s arm to get his attention. “She needs us, she needs you. And we need her.”
Garcia also knew, apparently. And if she knew without being a profiler, everyone else knew.
“I found this.” She handed Hotch a Polaroid picture of you. You were leaning on Garcia’s desk, your arms folded over your chest and with your sweet, sweet smile. There was the hope. “I took it a while ago and kept it on my desk along with the others but…”
Aaron took it with a shaky hand. You were mesmerizing.
“García,” Gideon insisted.
A nurse interrupted to let them know they could see you now.
“You go,” Gideon said to Hotch, taking a step back. “Just call me if anything changes. Garcia, you’re coming with me.”
“Yes, sir.” Penelope gave Hotch one last hopeful smile before following Jason out.
Aaron looked at your photo again and took deep breaths to gather himself as walked to the endless hall that took him to you.
“We’ll set up your bed in a few.” The nurse smiled at him, gesturing for him to go in. “She looks good. It might not look like it because of all the machines but she’s doing good. She’s a strong woman.”
Aaron said a quiet thanks before the nurse left.
It was just you and him.
The steady beeping of the machine brought him a sense of comfort—it meant you were alive—yet his feet were hesitant to take him next to you. He stood at the door for a moment, watching you from afar.
As the doctor had said, it was a lot to look at. It reminded him of the last time he saw someone close to him like this: his father. The difference was that back then, he couldn’t wait for his dad to die.
Today, he’d found himself praying multiple times to a god he wasn’t even sure existed most times.
He dared to move and when he reached your side, he almost crumbled. You had a few bruises on your left cheek, your knuckles were split—you even had a broken finger, and you looked beautiful as ever. He wished he could see the twinkle of your eyes, hear your voice, catch you smiling at him.
Guilt brewed at the pit of his stomach again. He should’ve gone with you. He should’ve been with you.
He lifted one hand to stroke your head and tears welled up as soon as his skin touched yours. His chin quivered and he sniffled quietly as tears threatened to spill. He used the heel of his hands to dry them away. He couldn’t cry, even if you were in a coma and couldn’t see him like this—broken. You believed people’s energy had effects on others, and you needed him to be strong. He needed to be more like you.
His bed was set soon after, right next to you. His eyes were heavy, and his muscles were sore. Even then, he couldn’t bring himself to lie down. He was scared to close his eyes. What if you died while he was asleep? He stayed sitting down, holding your hand and never losing sight of you.
“It’s raining,” he said out loud, talking to you. “Every time it rains I think of you.”
He smiled at the memories. You’d shown up at his office for your interview drenching, and he was smitten from the very first moment he laid eyes on you.
“Agent Hotchner,” your perky voice caught him off guard. No one inside the BAU building was perky—besides Garcia.
You stood by the door, both hands behind your back waiting for his signal to come in.
“Please.” He gestured with his hand to the seat across from him.
He took half a second to study you quickly. Raindrops were gathered over the shoulders of your blazer and your mascara was a bit smudged under your eyes.
“Forgot your coat, agent?” He commented, peeling his eyes off you and reading through your resume.
“Didn’t think I’d be raining by the time I arrived, sir. I don’t keep an umbrella in my car either. I apologize for my… appearance.”
It wasn’t your appearance that got you on his team, it was your outstanding resume. It made him wonder why you chose to apply to the Behavioral Analysis Unit instead of staying at ViCAP. Your performance there was impeccable.
“I wasn’t feeling comfortable there anymore,” was your answer. “And I want to seek other paths, sir. And I know I’m a good fit for your team.”
You started the very next day, and he partnered up with you to keep an eye on you during your first cases. You were a quick thinker, were fast on your feet, and stayed calm under critical situations.
Not once he felt at a disadvantage in the field for working with the new kid, which only showed him how good you naturally were. He was drawn to you and it wasn’t just because of your professionalism.
It was your fast food order. It was the first joke you ever made that only made him laugh. It was your perfume, the way you spoke with your hands, and how you raised your brows when making a point.
Everything about you made him take a deep breath. You made him dizzy. Lightheaded. Drunk.
Exactly how he felt right now while holding your hand, except that now, the room was spinning at the mere thought of losing you.
“I love you,” he murmured, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your bruised knuckles with shaky lips. “I love you.”
He’d never said it before. He didn’t know he did until now.
“God, I love you so much. From the moment I saw you, you lit up my life. You made it better, made me better.” He kept talking to you, hoping that his voice would heal everything inside you. “I can’t lose you. I won’t make it.”
Please wake up. Please wake up. Please wake up.
The rain stopped, the hours passed, and the sun never came out.
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It’d been two weeks and he’d already made the habit of reading you at night.
“Studies have shown that playing music they really like and talking to the person in a coma increases their chances of waking up,” Spencer had said the day the entire team came to visit you.
Most nights he read case files. Others, he liked to read poetry.
You still hadn’t woken up, but the music, the poetry, and the flowers didn’t stop.
“I hope you don’t mind if I read something by Neruda,” Aaron said as he sat on the chair next to you. “Maybe not Neruda.”
It was one of those nights where hope had watered down with his tears.
He put the book down next to you and held your hand. He hadn’t stopped holding your hand; he hadn’t stopped kissing it either. He sighed deeply and stood up to draw the blinds, turning his back to you.
A loud smack against the floor startled him, making him turn around. The book he’d left next to you had fallen. He didn’t think he’d left it at the edge of the bed, but he picked it up without much curious and went to put it where it was.
Your hand twitched when he grazed your knuckles casually.
Then it twitched again—harsher—and a soft whimper came from your chest. That sound definitely came out of your body.
Aaron was quick to check on you, towering over you and watching you closely. Your eyelids started to move and the next thing he knew, he was making eye contact with you.
Those beautiful twinkling eyes took his breath away.
“We need a doctor in here!” He was quick to react, pressing the call button.
Nurses stormed inside and moved him out of the way to assist you.
“She’s awake. She’s fighting the tube,” was all he heard before a thousand tingles rushed through him.
You were awake.
Your doctor arrived soon after to examine you and Aaron stood there as they took the tube out.
You coughed and writhed with discomfort.
“Can you tell me your name?” Your doctor moved a small flashlight in front of your eyes.
You blinked a few times and searched around the room. Your eyes landed on Aaron. “Hotch?”
Your soft voice traveled to him and enveloped his heart, mending every bit that was broken.
“Hi,” he merely said.
You shook your head and said your name instead. Your doctor asked some more questions like your birthday, where you worked at and what was the last thing you remembered, and the entire time your eyes were trained on Aaron.
“It’s vague.” You took a sharp breath. “I think I was attacked but I don’t know how. I can assume by this unglued scar, though.” You put your palm on your chest.
“We’re still going to do some tests,” Your doctor said. “But you’re great. Pupils are responsive, your lungs sound healthy and there are no signs of brain damage. No memory loss. No speech loss either.”
“How soon can she go home?” Aaron asked, taking another step closer. He finally stood by your side, and you reached for his hand.
This was you. Sweet and caring even at your worst.
“I’d like to keep her under observation for a couple of days, then she can go. But just so you know, you can’t fly for at least two weeks after open-chest surgery.”
The doctor gave you some other indications before leaving, then it was just the two of you as it’d been for the past two weeks. Though now he got to see the twinkle of your eyes, hear your voice, and catch you smiling at him.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, tilting your head to the side like a puppy.
“I sent you away and—“ he raised his brows.
“Don’t.” You squeezed his hand. “Don’t do that. Don’t… blame yourself.”
“I should’ve come with you. I should’ve— god, you almost died. You almost died,” he repeated in a whisper, shutting his eyes with pain.
The guilt was still there.
“But I didn’t.”
“I was so scared,” he admitted, daring to look back at you.
“I… don’t remember much. Just bits and pieces but I do remember that I wasn’t scared. I think. I… channeled you at that moment.” You laughed. “I remember thinking, Hotch wouldn’t be scared, he would put up a fight, so I did. I fought the guy, which got me almost killed but I wasn’t scared.” You lifted your hand and cradled his face, rubbing your thumb over his cheek. “You have a beard.”
He chuckled. “Barely.”
“It looks good. I like it.”
He didn’t like it much, but he was grateful it was there so you wouldn’t see how hard he was blushing. He poured you some water and handed it you to distract himself from it.
“Where are we?” You then asked, taking a sip from the straw.
“Seattle.” Aaron raised his brows while licking his lips.
Last time you two were in Seattle, you’d kissed for the first time.
“Oh,” you mirrored his smirk. “So that’s gonna be like a three-day road trip back to Quantico?”
“It’s either that or two more weeks in Seattle until you can fly there,” he responded.
“Both sound amazing, don’t you think?” you scanned his face up and down and heat rushed to his cheeks again. “Thank you for staying with me, Aaron.”
I love you, he thought.
“How could I not?” he said instead.
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Never said there would be a love confession now did I 🤭 But don’t worry, hotch confesses his love during the road trip <33333 also the title is a The Beatles song bc he played The Beatles a lot while reader was in a coma. And bc he held her hand a lot.
I hope you liked it!!!!
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outofconcheol · 4 months
Text
not yet (ksm x gn!Reader)
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pairing: Seungmin x reader
genres/au/rating: angst, fluff, friends (idiots) to lovers, pg
summary: "Not yet" was a phrase that came to define Seungmin's life for the longest time. Until you came along, and changed everything.
warnings: swearing, kind of fake dating, emotionally stunted Seungmin, kissing, a smol but significant fight, Minho being a menace but also the voice of reason
word count: 2.8k
a/n: this was something cute I wrote on a whim and tell me why my whole heart is fluttering (probably bc Seungmin is bias wrecking me a lot lately). This is me being a space and time nerd on main, but I imagine Seungmin as lowkey a math nerd in this too. it'll make sense when you read! i hope you enjoy!
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To Kim Seungmin time was always infinite, the universe stretching out like a vast abyss that he sought to understand. He’d grumble when his mother stretched the too-tight party hat around his ears on every birthday growing up. Because what was the point, when every day was a birthday for someone or something?
An infinite series of moments made way for an infinite number of chances, and Seungmin became fearless. Fearless because there was no way he could mess up at life, not when there would always be another chance to try again later.
And so, Seungmin’s favourite phrase, whenever his mother asked him to do anything, was “not yet.”
It was a phrase that came to define his life for the longest time. Until you came along, and changed everything.
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“Seungminnie, don’t you ever get tired of showing up to dinner alone?” his mother laments over the yukgaejang, while Seungmin stares blankly at her, unable to comprehend her question. What did she mean, alone? The whole point of family dinners was so he wouldn’t have to resort to eating ramen in the dim light of his own apartment, or risk begging Minho for home-cooked food, fearing the smirk on his older roommate’s face.
As if on cue, the doorbell sounds, and Seungmin is the first one up, spoon clattering on the table and stew abandoned. Within a few strides, he’s swinging the door open, only to be met with burning in his nose and scratching in his throat, the tell-tale signs of a sneeze making themselves known.
Your face peeks out from behind the flowers, flustered and eyes growing wide with concern.
“Damn it, I thought you wouldn’t be allergic to these ones,” you whine, and Seungmin sniffles, ushering you inside. “Sometimes I think you’re faking it, Minnie.”
“___!” his mother runs to the door at the sound of your voice, nearly smushing the bouquet as she wraps you in the biggest hug. “We haven’t seen you in so long, I made extra yukgaejang, come!”
And as she leads you by the hand into the dining room, Seungmin hangs back, a smug smile on his face. The universe had his back, once again.
The dinner table conversation turns lively once again, his parents and sister pestering you with updates about your life in the city, like you and Seungmin aren’t still attached at the hip like you were when you were children.
There’s a lull in the conversation, silence falling over the table with only the clanging of utensils to fill the void, broken only by a heavy sigh. Seungmin knows what’s coming next, and so do you, judging by the way you sink into your seat.
“I always thought the two of you would end up together,” his mother blurts out, tears forming in her eyes.
You pat her on the back, dancing around her confession, telling her you’ll always be ready to show up uninvited to dinner as long as there’s an extra bowl of yukgaejang waiting, and all Seungmin can do is stare into his bowl.
No matter how many times he reminded her that you were just friends, that the realistic probability of you and Seungmin dating moved closer and closer to zero the older you grew, she stubbornly refused to give up hope. 
She’d throw it back in his face, repeating his favourite phrase. “Not yet.”
And Seungmin couldn’t tell her maybe some things were just meant to never come to life. 
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The two of you walk back towards your apartments in silence, your shadows dancing on the sidewalk, creating a far livelier scene than the comfortable silence that exists between you.
Seungmin doesn’t notice you’ve fallen behind until he’s at least ten paces ahead of you, turning back to see your lonely figure under a streetlight, staring up at the stars. He resists the normal impulse in his brain to leave you behind, knowing you’ll catch up, and instead backtracks, stopping to stand next you.
“Do you really think it’d be so bad?” you ask the darkness, not turning to meet Seungmin’s eyes. “If we were to actually date?”
Seungmin’s mind is sent reeling at your confession, the neat box in which he’d compartmentalized your relationship suddenly bursting open, exploding with chaos.
“We’re getting older, Minnie,” you ponder. “Don’t you ever feel like you’re running out of time?”
Seungmin’s face darkens, and he knows he can’t answer the question without hurting your feelings. Because to him, time was never something he’d run out of. If he fucked something up, there’d always be something new, something better waiting for him on the horizon.
“You shouldn’t think like this, ____,” he breathes out. “You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
The two of you are sitting on the sidewalk now, long legs hanging off the curb. Seungmin instinctively pulls you into his side, making sure your body is shielded from any stray passerby that happen to be inhabiting the sidewalk or the wild people in the bike lane. 
“It’s always yet, Seungmin, but what about now? What are we doing with our lives?”
Seungmin’s never thought about now. He’s thought about the past, like the time he showed up to your house on your 16th birthday, a copy of your favourite novel clutched behind his back. Only to go ungifted when you’d barreled into his arms, raving over the used car your parents had gotten. He’d thought a lot about the future, the two of you going on to end up with faceless partners, settling down in houses whose walls he couldn’t picture, kids whose names he hadn’t thought out, maybe a dog or a cat. 
But he never stopped to think about the present, and looking into your eyes, he remembers exactly why. It terrified him, the faint glistening of tears, the way your breathing sped up, your fists clenching and unclenching. And he’d never had good advice to give, just always ranting on about how “tomorrow is a new day.”
Seungmin bows his head, long strands of hair falling into his face, hopes you don’t see the way his own lip quivers when he thinks about right now, the two of you sitting on a city sidewalk, together but still lonely.
“Okay,” he manages to choke out, and your head whips around in shock.
“What do you mean, okay?” you sniffle, and Seungmin pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Let’s do it. Let’s try dating.”
He feels your body go still next to him, arm going limp when you suddenly decide to let go, hoisting yourself up.
“Minnie, I was just kidding when I said that. You don’t have to date me if you don’t want to.”
“Who said I didn’t want to? I mean try, at least?” Seungmin rises up to his feet, heart thundering at the blank look on your face. “If we try and it doesn’t work, there’s always another chance, right?”
Your face twists in a strange expression, so brief Seungmin could have almost imagined it, before you let out a dazzling smile, one Seungmin thinks rivals even the brightest star he sees in the sky tonight.
“Right.”
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“You’re actually fucking insane,” Minho mumbles through a mouth stuffed full with dumplings, stealing the container away when Seungmin reaches over with his chopsticks. “I shouldn’t be offering you food, I should be signing you up for therapy.
“Everybody always wants ____ and I to end up together,” Seungmin grumbles, snatching a dumpling anyway, much to Minho’s dismay. “Now that we actually decide to date, it’s suddenly a problem?”
“Dating isn’t some science experiment, okay!” Minho grows flustered, the tips of his ears turning red. “It involves real people, and real feelings! Have you even asked ____ if they’re okay with this?”
You were fine, Seungmin convinced himself.  In fact you’d been exceedingly chipper, brighter than usual, chatting about anything and everything under the sun. It gave Seungmin confidence that maybe this could work. That maybe things didn’t have to change between you two, because maybe you’d been right for each other all along and he’d just missed it.
His phone vibrates with a text from you, and Seungmin is shoving the last dumpling in his mouth, ignoring Minho’s disapproving look as he throws his coat over his shoulders, bounding down the stairs to meet you outside his apartment.
“Want to go to a coffee shop—” the air is knocked out of your lungs when Seungmin crushes you in a hug, your fists banging on his back to let you go ten seconds later. Your face is flushed, an eyebrow raised in confusion, and Seungmin thinks you’ve never looked prettier.
“Isn’t that what couples do when they see each other?” Seungmin asks innocently, only to be met with a sigh.
“You’re paying for my coffee today,” you grumble. 
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Dating you is easier than Seungmin imagined — the years of friendship provided enough experience in how to spend time together, but now he gets to tell everyone that you’re together together. He thinks his mother’s joyful scream nearly splits his eardrums the moment she finds out, rushing to the phone to dial up your own mother. The conversation between them lasts a good hour and a half, and a smile pricks at Seungmin’s lips at the pride in her voice.
He gets to catch you off guard by randomly deciding to pay for your smoothie, or to wrap an arm lazily around your waist when you’re talking to someone, the subtle squeak in your voice sending his heart aflutter.
Dating you is everything Seungmin could have imagined and more, because those infinite moments he’d always thought about, are moments spent making you laugh at his deadpan jokes, moments spent clinging to your back, begging you to make him some food since Minho stubbornly refuses to, and he thinks there’s no way he could mess this up.
Until he kisses you. The two of you are cuddled up on the couch, the soft soundtrack of the film you’d chosen together lulling Seungmin to sleep in your lap, his eyes heavy-lidded. It’s when your leg shifts that Seungmin wakes up, sleepy eyes blinking up at you, only to realize your hand is resting against his cheek, thumb softly stroking his skin. He wonders if the stars in your eyes are from the reflection of the movie on the screen, or whether they mirror the ones in his own. 
Seungmin moves without thinking, his forehead collapsing against your own, and he feels your surprised gasp against his cheek before his lips are brushing against yours softly. Warmth blooms where your fingertips still rest on his cheek, lighting up his entire body with an unspoken feeling. 
He breaks away from you, still holding you close, but the smile that grazes his lips is gone as soon as it appeared, your downcast face in front of him. Seungmin waits one second, then two, then a whole minute, but it feels like an infinity while he wills you to meet his eyes.
“I can’t do this Minnie,” you finally whisper, your voice bubbling and breaking, a lone tear streaming down your face.
“I don’t understand,” the words feel heavy on Seungmin’s tongue, like he’s numb and struggling to get them out. It was just one moment, there’d be another that followed, but how could everything have gone wrong?
“I can’t keep pretending like this doesn’t mean something to me,” you finally let go of his hoodie, and Seungmin felt the cold he hadn’t noticed before seep in. “To you, this is all infinite, like it’s always been. There’s always a yet, because every moment is temporary. It’s meaningless when you have tomorrow to worry about, right? Wondering where we’ll go on our next date or what random thing you’ll do next to knock the breath out of me?”
“But this,” you continue. “Right here, right now, it isn’t just something to me. It’s everything. It’s everything because I love you and because I’ve always loved you and because you’ve never been able to see that in your infinity, there has to be some kind of beginning and end. And you’re it for me. But I’ll never be enough for you.”
Seungmin wants to tell you you’re wrong, that he’s stopped thinking about infinity and mere moments, because he realized the same thing, that he never started actually paying attention to time until he met you, and you injected all the moments of his life with meaning. But the words that come out instead are wrong, so wrong.
“You’ll get another chance,” he watches you flinch at his words, rushing to slip on your shoes. You linger at the door, hand twisting around the doorknob. “You just haven’t met the right person yet.”
The knob clicks, and the door slams. And Seungmin is left alone, in the vast abyss of his infinity once more.
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Minho spares him the lecture, and Seungmin is grateful. He doesn’t need to hear the “I told you so”, doesn’t need to face his mother’s concerned face when she asks why you haven’t been coming by lately. The loneliness cuts into him like a knife, and he wonders if the imaginary future he’d dreamed of all his life would be enough to take the pain of right now away.
The weather grows colder, and Seungmin’s heart freezes along with it. Time stretches out before him as he looks at his phone, waiting for a call or a text, teasing him, threatening him, as if to say - don’t you wish you had enough?
He spends his days staring out the window, watching the world pass by around him, realizing he’s tired of moving alongside it without you by his side. And then the snow begins to fall, a few flakes to start out, until it turns into a sea of white, and he can’t even see outside anymore.
The door clicks softly behind him, Minho’s voice echoing behind him while he stomps the snow from his boots.
“It’s really coming down out there,” Minho pauses, his voice clipped. “I saw ____ at the grocery store just now.”
Seungmin’s head whips around at the mention of you, but Minho, ever the menace, keeps his mouth shut, not knowing whether the next sentence that leaves his mouth will send Seungmin spiralling or not.
It’s silent between them for a few moments, Minho putting away his food in the kitchen cupboard, while Seungmin runs through endless scenarios in his head about whether you’re happy or sad, whether you’re doing fine or falling apart, whether leaving tore your heart in pieces as much as it did his.
And that’s when he spots it, tucked between the cushions of the couch. Your scarf, blue patterned and worn. You must have left it the last time you were here.
Seungmin knows that rationally, you’d probably have a backup scarf. Knows that rationally, with how much he’d chewed your head off about the future, that you’d have planned ahead.
But you’d never been the rational one.
Minho jumps in surprise when Seungmin leaps to his feet, yanking the scarf out from the couch.
“It’s cold outside,” Seungmin breathes out, and Minho raises an eyebrow. “Right now. Right now it’s cold outside, and ___ left their scarf here, and they, and I– shit!”
He’s running out the door before Minho can stop him, your scarf against his chest like it’s a lifeline.
. . . 
He sees you just outside the grocery store, struggling with the heavy load of groceries you’d bought for the storm. The tiny shiver that rakes down your spine is enough to send him running your way.
“Seungmin?” you call out to him in shock, seeing his frantic figure bound towards you in the snow.
“Your scarf,” he heaves, shoving the crumpled fabric into your hands. “You left your scarf.”
“Minnie,” you can’t help the nickname that slips out. “It’s okay, I have another one for next time–”
“This isn’t about next time,” Seungmin interrupts you, wrapping his arms around you, not caring that you drop your bags into the snow. “This is about right now. And right now it’s snowing.”
“Yeah,” your breath comes out in a fog. “It is.”
“And right now,” Seungmin’s voice cracks, unshed tears filling his eyes. “Right now I love you. I think I probably always have and I probably always will, but that doesn’t matter. You’re my past, you’ll be my future, and I hope you’ll be mine, right now in this moment.”
“What about not yet? The infinite possibilities of the universe?” You whisper, clutching his coat while he wraps the scarf around you.
“The universe is infinite because you’re at the center of it - an infinite number of ways to make you smile, to be whatever you need, to tell you I love you. You’re the beginning and the end, and everything in between.”
Your lips are crashing onto his, mouths colliding messily through the veil of your tears, and Seungmin never wants to let go. When you break apart, it’s to lay your head on his chest.
“Come home with me,” he whispers into your hair. “Let me make you some tea.”
You shake your head, burrowing into Seungmin’s neck, humming your response.
“Not yet.”
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a/n pt. 2: As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜
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jade-jini · 4 months
Note
HI been thinking abt g!p loser yunjin getting emotional during sex 😭 can i request a somno one where she comes home drunk late at night, looking for reader only to see her asleep on their bed! yunny getting hard at the sight and emotional as she remembers their argument, she couldn’t help herself but touch her gf, soft “sorry’s” and “don’t leave me” leaving her mouth as she fucks reader 😖
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TW: somno, angst, happy ending ig. Dubcon. Dacryphilia. Yunjin is insecure.
Can I give you g!p loser somno Yunjin? Yes. Is it from the same storyline as the previous posts? Hell no. That baby would never. That one is fluffy fluffy this is a completely different one ok? Ok 🤨. After clarifying that…😈
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“Hey, a*hic*nother one, please…” Yunjin said, raising her empty glass, her vision not good enough to catch where the bartender actually was. The guy sighed as he dried a washed glass with a towel.
“Listen kid, we’re already closed. Why don’t you go home already?”
“Home?” Yunjin asked unconsciously, the memories of that day hitting once again.
——————————Flashback—————————
You guys were supposed to get home together after a long day. Yunjin was gonna pick you up after your last class of the day, the orange sky and sunlight hitting against her own hair as she waited for you. She had a nice flower in hand, excited to give it to you. Softly placing it near her nose to smell it one more time, she made herself blushed thinking about your smile once she saw you. However, you were not alone. Her smile dropped right away as she left the flower fall somewhere.
There you were, standing with a friend she very well recognized. It was this one girl from the women soccer team of the university. Yunjin knew her name, everybody knew her name. But she never liked using it, making it clear she did not like this person at all.
“She seems to like you a lot…” she murmured after the first time she saw you talking to Yeji.
“I like her too, she’s a good friend, and she’s friends with Yeojin already so it’s cool” you explained, apparently not getting the message right away.
“Hmmmm, not what I meant but whatever..” she said as her pout got bigger, letting go of your hand and crossing her arms in front of her chest. That’s when you finally noticed.
“Huh Yunjin, are you jealous?” You asked, trying to stop a giggle.
“Maybe? I mean she’s athletic and popular, and you’re so pretty, baby. Who wouldn’t want you? I wouldn’t be surprised if one day you decide you want to give her or somebody else a chance…”
“Omg shut up, that could never happen. I love you. You, Yunjin.” You told her, taking her hand and kissing her cheek. You didn’t have eyes for nobody else but Yunjin, so you didn’t wanna hear none of that nonsense.
“Yeah but still…” she murmured, and you simply sighed and continued walking hand in hand, trying to be extra sweet and clingy to your girl to distract her from those thoughts.
You thought it was cute the first couple times, but then her attitude started becoming more serious every time. It wasn’t your cute girlfriend being a little jealous and protective. It was like a completely different person taking over your sweet girl. You guys have already had more arguments about this situation. They were never too bad.
Until today.
“Oh, hi baby!” You greeted your girlfriend once she met you guys, smiling at her like you did every time, with love and excitement like it was the first time you saw her.
“Hi, Yunjinie.” Yeji tried, as always, to be on the good side of the taller girl. Yunjin just looked at her, nodding at her and humming. She looked back at you.
“Ready to go? Maybe we can go get something to eat at your favorite restaurant before getting home.” She asked while smiling at you only, not wanting to acknowledge the other girl’s presence more than necessary.
“Oh nice! Wanna join us before going home, Yeji?” You asked your friend, knowing she lived very close to your building. Yunjin’s smile left again, rolling her eyes.
“Oh! Actually-”
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be today?” Yunjin murmured, a bored tone that she didn’t try to hide. In her mind, this was the least rude she could be towards Yeji.
“Huh Yunjin…” you warned her, a challenging tone growing in your throat and your eyes telling you weren’t gonna tolerate that.
“It’s ok, y/n.” Yeji said with an awkward laugh, trying to avoid yet another conflict. Unfortunately, she has been present before when your girlfriend showed clearly discomfort with her presence near you. “I can’t go anyways, Lia’s class must be almost done, and we have a date today so…” she commented, a slight blush appearing on the girl’s face. “Anyways, see you later.” The older girl said with a smile, waving her hand as she walked away quickly to go pick up her own girlfriend. You smiled and waved back at her, and once you turned back at Yunjin, her face was still showing she was upset. You shook your head, starting to walk. She followed you behind.
“What, you’re gonna leave me here now?” She asked as you didn’t give her a chance to walk beside you. You rolled your eyes.
“What the fuck, Yunjin?” You asked her as you slowed down a bit so she could catch up. “I’m tired of you being rude to every friend I have. First it was Chaeyoung and Yeojin and now-”
“Yeojin wouldn’t stop touching you! Am I supposed to be ok with that?!” She interrupted you, her voice getting a little louder and shaky.
“And now!” You interrupted her back, making her go quiet. “She barely looks me in the eye when you’re present ‘cause she knows you get easily jealous.” Yunjin scratched the back of her neck as she opened the car’s door for you. Once she got in the driver’s seat, she spoke again. Her voice changing to a sadder one.
“I’m just scared of losing you, y/n. You know that…” she said, as she started driving. You looked at her, examining her face. You could tell she was in distress about this. However, being insecure didn’t give her the right to treat your friends bad. You stayed quiet for a little while as she drove. Once you were walking to your apartment, you spoke again.
“I’ve told you Yeji has a girlfriend, yet you’re still treating her like this.” You heard her huff.
“Am I supposed to believe that?”
“Excuse me?” You looked at her with a frown, clearly offended.
“If she had a girlfriend she wouldn’t be stuck to your side all the fucking time.” Yunjin said, her voice getting deeper than normal. She was very upset, but so were you.
“Because she’s my friend, Yunjin! Friends spend time together! Why can’t you understand the concept of that?” You told her in the same tone, seriously tired of the constant fighting about such an insignificant thing as you hanging out with your friends.
“I don’t spend all the time stuck to my friends.” she remarked once you opened the door.
“Even if you did, I wouldn’t be making these scenes because I actually trust you. Do you even trust me?”
“It has nothing to do with that-”
“Do you even trust me, Huh Yunjin?!” You asked her again in a louder tone. You were not gonna let her evade this question. Yunjin didn’t like your tone nor the accusations. So instead of processing what she actually felt, she acted impulsively.
“No! I don’t trust you nor your fucking flirty friends! I’m tired of all this!” She yelled, her breathing becoming irregular.
You went quiet, feeling your heart hurt. The girl you loved didn’t trust you. You’ve done everything in your power to show her she’s your one and only. That nobody else comes even close to her in your heart. Yet her insecurities were hurting you both.
“Then go.” You said after you swallowed the lump in your throat, your eyes already getting watery.
“What…” she whispered, starting to panic as she felt her heart sink.
“Trust is the most important thing in a relationship, with honesty. If we don’t have that, we don’t have nothing.”
“Oh my god I am so sorry, y/n… I didn’t mean to say any of that.” She tried apologizing, the weight of her words hitting her. Hard. She fucked up.
“If you don’t even trust me, then why haven’t you left?” You asked her, feeling that even speaking was hard at the moment.
“I’m sorry. I’ll work on it. Please give me another chance, baby. Please.” Your girlfriend said, trying to hold your hands but you put them close to you avoiding this, such action breaking her heart a little more ‘cause you’ve never rejected her touch before.
“I’ve been patient and understanding but your jealousy just keeps getting worse. I need some time right now…”
“No! Please don’t.. please baby, don’t say that…” tears were threatening to come out already, her hands trembling at the idea of losing you.
“At least for tonight. I need to think about us, please go Yunjin.” You almost begged, voice getting softer due to the sadness taking over the anger now.
“y/n, please…”
“Just leave, Yunjin. I need some space today, please.” You said, not even looking at her. You couldn’t, because if you did you would ask her to stay and you actually needed some alone time to calm down. You heard her hesitate, but nevertheless her steps resonated in the now empty room.
————————End of flashback————————
“My home doesn’t want me at home…” Yunjin said as she began sobbing again. The bartender, weirded out, tried comforting her after calling a taxi for the young woman.
“Listen dude, I don’t know who hurt you, but you gotta go home. There’s a taxi outside ok? Just tell them where to go and I don’t know, get some makeup sex or something.”
“Makeup sex? Hmm..” the idea of it already causing an effect on her intoxicated mind. She quietly went home, with only the image of you in her thoughts, feeling her friend reacting to it.
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“y/n? Baby are you h*hic*ome?” Yunjin asked once she stepped foot on the living room of your apartment, clumsily looking for you. “I-I’m sorry baby… please I l*hic*love you. Let me show you I love you.”
When she didn’t get a response, she made her way to your shared room. Her messy hair in front of her eyes making it a little extra complicated for her to see where she was going, but she wasn’t that messed up yet. Once she got to the bedroom, she found you deep in your sleep, looking beautiful as ever. She always thought you looked cute when sleeping, but tonight when she noticed how you were using nothing but her big shirt, the blanket barely covering your naked legs, cute wasn’t the word she’d use to describe you.
“God you’re so sexy, so perfect… I could never lose you…” she said as she got closer to the bed, falling sat next to you. The new weight made you move a bit, but it didn’t wake you up. “Please w-wake up, darling. I need you…” she whispered as she fixed her member, that was already getting hard by the view in front of her. Her other hand traveled to your thigh, caressing the skin as she slowly made her way to your ass. With the shirt going up a bit, she could see that you really were using nothing but her shirt.
“You knew I was c*hic*oming, Hmm?” She hummed, getting rid of her jacket and unbuttoning her pants to get her hand inside them, touching herself on top of her boxers. Soft groans escaping Yunjin’s lips as she felt her member getting harder and harder. She couldn’t help but put your shirt a little higher, leaving kisses on your stomach. Her lips slowly going up until she was kissing your chest, going from one nipple to the other. She was straight up moaning against your chest as she slowly sucked on them. With her dick already out of her pants, she needed to have you. She needed to prove to you she loved you always. As she made her way between your legs, she slowly started stroking her cock, licking her own lips before starting to eat you out. Yunjin could feel you softly moving under her, but you were a heavy sleeper. “So good.. tastes so good, baby.” She said as she made out with your pussy in such a messy but sensual way. The little whimpers coming from her as she stimulated both of you, and the little groans you’d let out in your sleep, were the only sounds Yunjin’s ears could catch. “P-please don’t leave.. if you do.. You’d break my heart..” the taller girl said, kissing your thighs, the idea of you actually leaving being an option got her sad again. As her eyes got watery, she fixed herself better between your legs, her member against your now very wet cunt, making sure to get herself wet too so she doesn’t hurt you. More soft sounds were coming from you, similar to the ones you do when awake. Yunjin’s clouded mind was thinking that maybe, if your body was reacting to her like this even when asleep, then you didn’t really want to leave. “Oh fuck…” she moaned as she slowly entered you. “Please don’t leave, I’m gonna miss this pussy too much…”
She started thrusting inside you slowly, sighing as your tight pussy grabbed around her so good every single time. She loved how well your bodies understood each other, and the thought of it being like this even when you’re not awake got her dick twisting inside you. This didn’t stop her from being sad though, knowing that after your argument that day, you probably wouldn’t have accepted this so easily.
“Please…” Yunjin whispered, her voice breaking in between pleads, tears threatening to fall “please d-don’t leave me.. I can be better than them.. p-promise..” she sobbed, the warmth of your body bringing both comfort and sadness, scared the next morning you’d be gone.
“What.. what the.. fuck? Hmmm.. Jen?” You murmured as her rougher actions slowly started to wake you up “w-what are you-”
“Please l-let me do it, if you’re gonna leave..” she said in between sobs “let me have you one last t*hic*ime..”
“W-who said I- fuck~ was gonna leave, baby?” You asked her, confused in between moans. Your hands automatically hugged her shoulders as you felt her cock reaching those spots inside you only Yunjin could ever get to know.
“I r-ruined it.. but please don’t go. I’m s-sorry, y/n. I love you…” she said, her moves now a little softer and slower. However you weren’t angry at her, how could you when she felt so good deep inside you, and her tears making her look so cute and pathetic, turning you on so much for some reason. You didn’t care to understand it though, your mind also getting clouded by desire for her.
“So cute when you cry. Do you feel sorry, baby?” You asked her, grabbing her face. She nodded eagerly, tears running down her face. “Why.. why are you sorry, tell me.”
“Hmmgh y/n.. I’m sorry for b-being mean, and jealous…” she dragged her words, but you were able to make out what she was saying. “S-sorry for not asking for permission first…” her sobs became more intense, but so did her thrusts inside you and you weren’t sure if her tears were more sadness or pleasure, probably a mix of both. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry y/n.. Hmm please…”
“Shhh, keep going baby, don’t you dare stop.” You threatened her, her teary eyes making your pussy clench around her cock, making your girlfriend moan loudly “such a fucking good cock, feels so good…”
“Hmmm fuck… you feel so good too, wanna be inside you forever…” she said as she pounded your pussy so good. Even when drunk, she knew what your face was saying, knowing she was hitting you in a spot you really like, getting you closer. “Like this, baby? D-does my cock feel good here?”
“So good… don’t you fucking stop.. Hmm fuck, baby!” You came intensely as her name kept coming from your mouth again and again, music for her ears. The sensation also making her moan, feeling herself too close.
“y/n, I’m gonna come…” she warned you, but you weren’t done with her punishment. You turned you guys around, holding her wrists against the mattress and riding her “oh god…” she moaned as she bit her lip. When you felt her dick inside you twisting, meaning her orgasm was just seconds away, you quickly got off her, ruining her orgasm as she finished untouched “Ahh! F-fuck.. nooo.. fuck!” She whimpered and cried as her cum ended on her thighs and some on her abs. “Why… that hurt, y/n..” she complained, hissing a bit when a cold wet towel made contact with her skin to clean her.
“That’s what you get for being a bad girl.” You told her, receiving a groan for her. When you turned around to see her, her eyes were still full of tears, a pout on her face. You simply laughed before holding her closer to you. “Don’t worry baby, tomorrow when you’re sober I’ll make sure to take care of you good.”
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theemporium · 6 months
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You thought your boys were being dramatic when they first told you about their heats.
At first, you thought it was a joke they were playing on you. You were new to the lycanthrope world, you weren’t sure of the logistics and there wasn’t exactly a ‘werewolves for dummies’ book you could check out in the library. You thought maybe this was just your boyfriends pulling your leg to have some fun.
When other sources confirmed it was real, you thought they were exaggerating the whole thing to gain some sympathy points. Max had a tendency to sometimes dramatice stuff and Daniel usually went along with it because he thought it was funny. And truthfully, you just assumed that was at play here.
But then you saw it and realised they hadn’t prepared you enough. 
The only good thing was that for as long as you had been with the boys, their heats have never once matched up. One was always before the other and it meant you usually had a few days in between to rest before you dealt with the next shift. It felt like the universe was on your side. 
Until this month. 
You hadn’t even noticed their heats moving closer and closer together. It hadn’t even crossed your mind as a possibility. But then suddenly you were waking up to one boy pawing at your tits and the other one trying to tug your pyjama shorts down your legs and you realised just what you were in for for the next week. 
They were fucking relentless. Somehow the possessive nature and horniness combined to make some weird, twisted competition between them both to be the one to make you feel the best. No matter where you were or what you were doing, one of the boys was always on you.
And sometimes they both were.
“Oh fuck,” you let out a moan as you felt Daniel press up behind you, warm and comforting and overwhelming all at once. You could only let your head roll back as his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, a small growl vibrating across your skin. “I thought I banned you both from the shower.”
“But you smell so nice,” Max whined as he nosed your jaw, his hand tracing down your body before hiking your leg up around his waist. “And you were all alone. S’not nice.”
“We just wanna take care of you, darlin’,” Daniel murmured as his teeth scraped along a sensitive spot on the base of your neck that made you whine out loud. 
“You both are fucking relentless,” you moaned out, your nails digging into Max’s shoulders when the head of his cock teased your poor, used cunt. “You’re gonna fucking break me.”
“Never, schat,” Max murmured before he lifted his head, his lips tracing over yours and you could have whined when he didn’t kiss you right away. “Just gonna keep you nice and full, remember who you belong to.”
“And you’re all ours, honey,” Daniel whispered from behind, his lips brushing against your ear as his hands began to explore your body. You let out a choked noise of surprise when his fingers brushed against your other hole, teasing you as you whimpered at the thought. “Every single part of you.”
“Please,” you begged as the water cascaded down onto the three of you, hot and fast and adding to the burning need you had to have both of your boys inside you. “Shit, please.”
“Look at you,” Max cooed as he slowly thrusted into you. “S’like you’re in heat with us, just as desperate.”
Daniel’s free hand groped and squeezed your tits as his fingers slowly worked into your other entrance. “Because she’s a perfect match for us, baby. She’s our mate.”
“Our mate,” Max growled as he nuzzled his face into your neck, listening to your racing heart as they spread you open. “Ours.”
“Yours,” you cried out when Daniel pulled his fingers out, only to be replaced with the head of his cock teasing your whole. “All yours. Just yours.”
“Atta girl,” Daniel cooed softly when you let out a sob, his arms winding around you as he sunk into your ass, until they were both bottomed inside you and pressed against each other. “Such a good girl for us.”
“So good,” Max praised with a kiss pressed against your pulse point.
“Please,” you whispered, your nails leaving dents in Max’s skin but you didn’t think he would care. “Move. Use me. Fuck me. Fill me up. Pleasepleasepleaseplease—”
“Shhh, don’t need to cry,” Daniel cooed, something soft but patronising in his voice as he slowly pulled out before thrusting back in. “Gonna take such good care of our pretty mate. Just gotta trust us, darlin’.”
.
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haggishlyhagging · 19 days
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It took about two hours for Daina Taimina to find the solution that had eluded mathematicians for over a century. It was 1997, and the Latvian mathematician was participating in a geometry workshop at Cornell University. David Henderson, the professor leading the workshop, was modelling a hyperbolic plane constructed out of thin, circular strips of paper taped together. 'It was disgusting,' laughed Taimina in an interview.
A hyperbolic plane is 'the geometric opposite' of a sphere, explains Henderson in an interview with arts and culture magazine Cabinet. 'On a sphere, the surface curves in on itself and is closed. A hyperbolic plane is a surface in which the space curves away from itself at every point.' It exists in nature in ruffled lettuce leaves, in coral leaf, in sea slugs, in cancer cells. Hyperbolic geometry is used by statisticians when they work with multidimensional data, by Pixar animators when they want to simulate realistic cloth, by auto-industry engineers to design aerodynamic cars, by acoustic engineers to design concert halls. It's the foundation of the theory of relativity, and thus the closest thing we have to an understanding of the shape of the universe. In short, hyperbolic space is a pretty big deal.
But for thousands of years, hyperbolic space didn't exist. At least it didn't according to mathematicians, who believed that there were only two types of space: Euclidean, or flat space, like a table, and spherical space, like a ball. In the nineteenth century, hyperbolic space was discovered - but only in principle. And although mathematicians tried for over a century to find a way to successfully represent this space physically, no one managed it - until Taimina attended that workshop at Cornell. Because as well as being a professor of mathematics, Taimina also liked to crochet.
Taimina learnt to crochet as a schoolgirl. Growing up in Latvia, part of the former Soviet Union, 'you fix your own car, you fix your own faucet - anything', she explains. 'When I was growing up, knitting or any other handiwork meant you could make a dress or a sweater different from everybody else's.' But while she had always seen patterns and algorithms in knitting and crochet, Taimina had never connected this traditional, domestic, feminine skill with her professional work in maths. Until that workshop in 1997. When she saw the battered paper approximation Henderson was using to explain hyperbolic space, she realised: I can make this out of crochet.
And so that's what she did. She spent her summer 'crocheting a classroom set of hyperbolic forms' by the swimming pool. 'People walked by, and they asked me, "What are you doing?" And I answered, "Oh, I'm crocheting the hyperbolic plane."' She has now created hundreds of models and explains that in the process of making them 'you get a very concrete sense of the space expanding exponentially. The first rows take no time but the later rows can take literally hours, they have so many stitches. You get a visceral sense of what "hyperbolic" really means.' Just looking at her models did the same for others: in an interview with the New York Times Taimina recalled a professor who had taught hyperbolic space for years seeing one and saying, 'Oh, so that's how they look.' Now her creations are the standard model for explaining hyperbolic space.
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-Caroline Criado Perez, Invisible Women
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petit-etoile · 7 months
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everything i see, everything i feel (you are my universe)
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pairing: astarion/tav wordcount: 8746 content warnings: astarion is not a vampire nor ascended & tav is not the dark urge but i use pet names from his ascended route because i think they fit & some of the dark urge connections are necessary, brief mention of tav being raised as a child soldier by gortash, tav is gender neutral, nearly 8k of pure smut other tags: alternate universe - royalty, character study, porn with plot, dom/sub undertones, mi.ssionary style, do.ggy style, riding, cr.eampie, marriage proposal, sort of archiveofourown: here. note: depending on reception & if i have time, there may be a part two or a prequel. i ended coming up with lore for this verse so i like it a lot. summary: ‘We are the Prince and his Shield,’ Astarion tells you sweetly, voice melodic in your ear. ‘This will be our world. You were made for me, and I was made for you, and we will do as we are meant to do.’
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      𝐈. ﹕previous fic    𝐈𝐈. ﹕next fic
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You can already tell what kind of evening it will be just from the way Astarion looks at you from beneath his eyelashes, so coy and pretty and unabashed in the way he glances over you. Whatever happened tpday at court has pleased him. He practically purrs when he steps past you to enter the sanctuary of his expansive bedroom.
‘You’ll come,’ he murmurs, ‘won’t you, darling?’
You’ll play his game because he likes it. You keep your lips pressed together in a firm line despite the way his hand slides gracefully across your waist, warming the chainmail that you wear dutifully every day so that you can keep the crown prince safe. He pouts when you pretend to not notice the playful mood he’s in. And when you change your mind after only a few minutes, Astarion will wear the same mischievous frown and think he has claimed victory over you once more.
You recite your vows to yourself to keep your mind from wandering, but it’s difficult. I am the Sword of the Crown, the Shield of the Realm. I serve no one but the Rightful King, the First of His Name, the Soul of Truth, Astarion Ancunin. It’s…admittedly hard to remember the rest. You’re distracted by the most impure thoughts. Memories of nights before. The taste of him on your tongue, the feel of him between your thighs, the sight of him as he grinds above you, the gleam of his skin as dawn begins to creep over the horizon. You squeeze your thighs together and try to wait out at least five minutes before you cave.
You peek down the hallway. There are no other guards skulking around at night. You’re not technically supposed to leave your post, but if the prince commands it… Well, it’s an excuse. You rush inside before you can feel the call of your valor and close the door after you with a soft click. Astarion sits with his legs crossed at the edge of his bed. He grins. It’s almost as predictable as you are, but you would never admit it.
‘You called, my prince?’ you ask carefully, trying to keep your tone even.
‘I did,’ he says with a delicate shrug. ‘I thought I could use entertainment, and you were there…’
You smile beneath your helm. You were always there. Astarion tries to hide it a little too much, but there’s no one else he would seek out to keep him entertained when his mood is like this. He tries to play into the expectations everyone has of him. That he’s ambitious, unpredictable, easy to rile up. The truth of the matter is that Astarion longs for you in a way that he will never admit except into the curls of your hair when he thinks you’ve fallen asleep. You care for him  —  love him  —  and there’s nothing you adore more than the way he laughs around you as though you were born for him and him alone.
‘I take it the court wasn’t too uneventful,’ you say.
He grimaces. ‘I saw Lord Gortash, unfortunately. I believe the sight of him has ruined my week.’
‘So cruel,’ you hum. You touch the buckles of your cape and release it from your bodice.
‘It’s true, isn’t it?’ Astarion asks defensively, playfully.
You touch the latch of your armor. ‘He’s head of the city guard.’
‘I ought to fire him,’ the prince says darkly. ‘Hire a new one.’
‘Who would protect the city instead?’
‘You,’ Astarion says without pause.
‘Alas, I am duty bound to serve the prince,’ you disagree. You pull the weight of your chest piece off your shoulders and drop it to the floor. ‘How can I serve the city when my mind is filled with nothing but you?’
Astarion smiles, a true smile. ‘Oh, you honor me. You truly mean every word.’
‘Without question,’ you promise.
You think about kneeling before him and looking up at him, but your chest piece is still in the way. You pull and untangle and twist until it all slides to the floor, leaving you in a simpler top. His honor, a single white rose, is pinned to the front of your shirt. You can still remember the day he gave it to you, the day you knelt in the throne room and he pressed his sword to your shoulder to claim you.
‘You are mine,’ Astarion says slowly.
‘I am yours,’ you repeat fondly.
‘Until the end of time?’
‘Until the end.’
‘And,’ Astarion begins playfully, ‘if I asked you to please me?’
‘I would be duty bound,’ you reply.
‘Then may I ask you to please me?’ he murmurs, eyes dangerous.
Astarion practically preens under your careful attention, his eyes unwavering as he watches you. You take your time. You remove the rest of your armor slowly, savoring the hungry way he watches. Even in court when you are his shadow, Astarion barely hides it. The hunger. The longing. The darkest of desires. He would claim you in public if it wouldn’t be a scandal.
You lower yourself before him, groveling on your hands and knees. You place your head in his lap and sigh when he threads his fingers through your hair. These are the moments you live for. When he is no longer a prince and you are no longer a knight. You are you, and Astarion is Astarion.
You don’t have to wonder where his mind is. Not during times like these. He’s anxious to feel you, but you take your time in this. You slip his fancy boots from his feet then take your time undoing his belts and buttons, sliding everything down his lean legs with careful intent. His cock greets you, already half hard and growing still.
It still makes you nervous, deep down inside. Astarion is a prince and the pinnacle of perfection. He could have any duke or duchess he wanted, yet it’s you he takes care of when the standing watch for hours on end from dusk til dawn has caused your bones to grow weary. The least you could do is love him like this. You lean forward and kiss the side of his cock, and Astarion’s fingers tighten in your hair.
‘Please, your highness,’ you whisper.
You are perched at his feet still awaiting commands. Like a good little pup. You shiver.
‘Go on,’ Astarion encourages.
You barely stick the tip of your tongue out and watch as his cock throbs in anticipation. This is dangerous. Obscene, even. You’ve seen him hundreds of times yet it still excites you. Carefully, you take him into your mouth and admire his debauched moan.
You have half a mind to tease him, but when you glance upwards at him, he’s as pretty as an aasimar. Or something worse, but you don’t give yourself much time to think about it. You know his desires. What he enjoys. What he tolerates for you. You know Astarion likes your little hums as you glide your mouth over his cock. He likes being pampered more than anything.
Astarion’s hand is tender as he moves your bangs out of your eyes. It’s the eye contact he wants. He likes to see and always acts like it’s the first time. He holds the edge of your jaw while you rub the tip of his cock against the inside of your cheek, eyebrows scrunching. It’s divine for you as well.
Astarion lives for the pomp and circumstance, absolutely devours court rumors with a delight you barely understand  —  but he would let his kingdom fall into the Underdark if it meant he could spend every hour of every day fucking you.
It’s the same for you.
It always has been ever since your coronation.
You were not like the other knights who were born into houses of servitude, second born sons and daughters who were the spares of their family names. You were given to Astarion by Lord Gortash as a way to buy favor from the crown. You were once his favorite, well-trained dog.
But unlike Lord Gortash, you are coveted by the crown in a way no other knight has been before. Astarion kisses you every morning and finishes against your spine every evening. But he is your salvation, your savior, and you are on your knees to show what that means to you.
Astarion stirs beneath your ruminations, his thighs tensing beneath your elbows, his hips doing those unconscious lusty jerks that you like so much. His head falls back as he gets lost in the feel of your tongue and mouth and he moans so sweetly that it almost distracts you from your ministrations. You take his cock as far back into your mouth as you can manage, closing your eyes to squeeze out any embarrassing tears that might threaten to fall. Like the prettiest bird, he sings for you.
‘Wait,’ he moans. ‘Not yet, I want  —  ’
You pull away from him as commanded, licking your lips clean of spit. His hands dance frantically against your shoulders as he pulls you up against him, cock hard against both of your bellies. He kisses you hotly, one hand fisting in your hair and the other tugging uselessly at your shirt.
‘You are needy today, my prince,’ you whisper against a barrage of kisses.
‘You were too perfect,’ he whines. ‘Always perfect for me.’
You laugh against his cheek. ‘You did say to please you.’
‘And now I’m saying to get on the fucking bed,’ Astarion fusses. ‘Oh, and clothes off. I want to see you.’
‘Yes, your  —  ’ you begin.
‘You,’ Astarion accuses with an affectionate pinch to your side, ‘are being quite the obstinate charge tonight. I want to taste you and be tasted in return, but be familiar with me, my love. Come back to me. Share my bed.’
You are in the middle of doing as he requests, sitting with one leg on either side of his thighs when he slides his hands to your waist and forces you to roll to the side. He pushes you further into the many adorning pillows of his bed and starts devouring you, his mouth dancing from your neck to your collarbones while he tears your shirt apart with his hands, though he does slow down enough to place the white rose on the bedside table. He pushes his palms flat against your chest and leaves bite marks and bruises across your chest and down your belly, chasing after you as you try to squirm away. Astarion finally takes interest in leaving his mark on your throat.
You set to work pushing your leggings and small clothes down your thigh, but Astarion, in all his impatience, gets in the way of that too. He presses his thigh between your legs on purpose, rolling his cock against your hip while his thigh applies almost perfect pressure to the most sensitive parts of you.
You moan and turn your face away, but Astarion chases the sound. He nuzzles your noses together until you look at him, bleary and dazed, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. He rolls his hips again with intent. He catches the sound of your moan on the tip of your tongue and returns it, his own ragged breath warm against your cheek.
‘There you are, my love,’ he whispers deliciously. ‘I’ve missed you. My treasure, my pet…’
‘Yours,’ you moan.
‘Mine,’ Astarion agrees. ‘All mine.’
He drags his fingernails across the swell of your hip, and you can’t help but chase the curve of his wrist. Your cheeks burn, but you’re tempted to beg him. To ask if he’ll please you with his hands. You want to feel his fingers pressed up inside you, to feel them curl and twist. You want it more than anything else you’ve ever wanted to. Astarion watches the way you twist and turn with a small smile on his face. He pets your hip and slides his fingers between your thighs. You can feel the cool of his jeweled rings against your heated flesh.
Astarion is grateful for your reckless display. He acquiesces to your silent begging, brushing his fingers between your folds and pressing the tip of his middle finger against you. He watches with delight as you grind against the pressure. His cheeks and the tips of his pointed ears are ruddy, and though he’s pretending to be controlled right now, you can hear how shaky his breath has become.
And then, like a god answering a prayer, he presses a finger inside of you so painstakingly slow it’s almost maddening. You mewl, watching his expressions in fascination, because his own mouth falls open as he cranes his next to watch. He adds another. He twists and twirls his fingers as deeply as he can reach it. His eyes flutter with desperation. He’s so beautiful that you can hardly stand it. You want more, so much more, and you press your wrist against your mouth to keep from begging.
‘Don’t hide from me,’ he says hoarsely. ‘I want to hear everything. Please, sing for me.’
‘More,’ you whisper thickly. ‘More, I need more, I want more.’
He kisses your jaw sloppily. ‘I’ll give you everything.’
‘It’s not enough!’
‘You’ll take it,’ Astarion tells you. ‘You’ll take what I give.’
‘Astarion,’ you weep. ‘I want you. I want  —  ’
This time, he might as well have ripped the rest of your clothes with his haste. You aren’t sure what he does with them, you just know that you’re naked and in his bed, surrounded by all his pillows with your thighs slick from how wet you are.
Your eyes watch your star’s every movement. He rids himself of his finery as well, shrugging out of his layers until there’s nothing left. The moonlight hits his skin prettily, almost as dainty as the way his eyes catch in the candlelight. He chases you, chases your mouth, presses his cock against you and ruts for a moment. You can’t help but be dizzy with lust yourself. You leave your own marks across his collarbones and chest, mindful of his neck and what skin would peek above his elegant collars. You wonder how he’ll take you. Astarion has always been the creative type. Sometimes you’ll ride him, and sometimes he’ll ride you until you see stars. Despite his urgency, he seems tender tonight.
Astarion wants to make you feel good. He wants to find your heat and bask in the warmth. You can tell in the way he watches your face ever so fondly. He’s always been so good at masking how much he prefers you to anyone he’s spoken to before. You’ve stood and listened as the perfect guard during meetings with dignitaries from neighboring cities, and Astarion always spoke to them with practiced politeness bearing a practiced albeit bored undertone. Yet with you, he seems to hang onto your every word. He takes it in until there was nothing left to share. He cares when you are supposed to be nothing more than a knight at his door.
‘I have a gift for you tonight,’ Astarion says suddenly. He blushes. It’s adorable how much it’s unlike him.
‘What is it?’ you ask.
‘Patience,’ he complains, but he doesn’t mean it.
Astarion reaches for something just beyond your sight, and when he sits back up, you feel as though someone has released a cage of birds in the pit of your stomach. He holds out a small silver band for your inspection. ‘A warding ring,’ he explains. ‘I had my Master of the Arcane enchant it for you  —  for us.’
‘Kiss me,’ you whisper. ‘Please.’
‘Put it on first,’ he insists. ‘For me.’
Something must show on your face, because he’s quick to show you his own hand. There is a matching silver band there, and it causes your heart to swell so much you think your heart will give out. Astarion, with great care, slides the band onto your finger and then looks at you, hopeful.
‘Whatever you feel, I shall feel,’ he says like a promise. ‘You and I, together.’
You guide his mouth to yours before you can do something silly like cry. When you touch his chest, intent on finding his heartbeat, you can feel it so frantic against your palm.
What is a better story than a prince and his knight? A savior and his sword? The bards will sing forever about the prince and his favored knight, their matching rings, their sacred vows. You ache with longing. You surge with love. It is all Astarion’s fault.
You push your hands through his thick curls and guide him to lie on top of you. You can feel the ring humming with magic. Though you are sure this isn’t its intended use, you can’t help but feel nervous.
You take him into your arms. He collapses into you and your only thought is that it’s a little poetic. You have caught a star as it fell from the sky. Now, it rests in your hands again and again and again until, slowly, you cannot exist without one another. His mouth finds yours, and your hands with the matching rings reach out for one another as though choreographed. Astarion presses you against his sheets and you willingly let him devour you once more. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.
Astarion kisses down your chest again. He kisses your tummy and all the muscle you’ve earned from being a knight. He kisses every scar from every battle you’ve ever endured all the way down to your hips, to that warm core that lies between them. You moan unapologetically, head rushing until you’re almost positive you’re going to faint. Astarion presses a kiss between your legs, growls as though he was a man starved before finding you, and takes you into his mouth.
It’s a little romantic how you’ve grown together. You were each other’s firsts  —  Astarion taught you how to kiss, and you taught him how to fondle someone else’s body without feeling shy about it. You had first used your mouth on him, but he had taken all of the knowledge you had given and weaponized it against you the next moment that he could. He’s determined to please, desperate for compliments, hopeless in all his endeavors to please you almost as much as you’ve pleased him. But unlike you, Astarion is selfish and he reaches for fruit to pluck that anyone else would have discarded as soon as something better came along. He chose you.
He licks and bites and nuzzles and feasts upon the very fruit of you, groaning at how you taste. It’s his favorite taste in the world, and he would brag about it if it didn’t make your cheeks flush. He laps at your folds hungrily and squeezes the thickness your thighs until they’ve bruised.
‘Little star,’ you whine, pressing your hands to your eyes. ‘Please, please.’
His tongue is like torture. Astarion never does anything without fully committing, and from your time together, you know he’s memorized every little thing he can do to drive you absolutely wild. He’s pulled your legs over his shoulders, his fingers moving on after bruising them to dig into your hip bones, and he hums so prettily for you.
Even you aren’t sure what you’re begging for. You want Astarion to stop teasing you so insistently. You want to feel his heartbeat, you want to taste his lips. There’s a part of you so empty and full of longing that if you wait any longer, if you withhold anymore, you might lose yourself. The only thing serving to ground you to this world is depravity, twisting carnal lust, and the depths of your love. You shiver under his touch and moan even as you try to hush it.
‘  —  star!’ you cry sharply.
You try to twist out of his grasp, crying at how determined he is, but Astarion simply drags you back down to where he is as if it’s nothing to him. He doesn’t stop torturing with your tongue until you’ve choked out a sob and chased your release, chest heaving from the effort. He doesn’t let you go for long either, climbing up your body so that he can press encouraging kisses to your jaw, pushing your damp curls back from your temple.
Astarion pushes his nose against your ear and breathes in, almost so desperate to have memorized your very scent. It’s always been his little habit. As if just by knowing your smell, he is able to do whatever he needs to accomplish in this world.
‘You,’ he murmurs between kisses, ‘are always so magnificent for me.’
You reach for his hip, the back of your knuckles sweeping against his sharp bone. ‘I want to do the same for you,’ you say shakily. ‘Let me have you, please. It’s all I want.’
He moans, soft and quiet, and settles between your legs. He kisses you again with that same hunger. The same, almost desperate kind of lust. He presses you so far into his sheets that you’re not sure you’ll ever be released from them again. And you think you would be fine with that. There’s nothing more that you want than to stay here with him. His hands joined with yours, your hips pressed to his, forever until the world has ended.
You slide your hands across the broad sweep of his shoulders and feel as his muscles shift. He is so gentle with you even when he doesn’t have to be. He’s cautious, meticulous, almost ridiculously polite because it’s you. His love is like an apology for everything you’ve been through, and when he cradles the back of your head, you lean into his touch.
‘You are mine,’ he says tenderly. His thumb sweeps across your cheek.
‘Take me,’ you say hungrily. ‘I am your prize.’
‘You were created by the gods for me,’ Astarion tells you sincerely. He sits onto his knees and pulls your hands flush against his stomach. ‘Look at how well you fit against me.’
You were never one to be shy before, but his praise causes you to turn your cheek aside and look away. He pushes his hands up your thighs, searching, admiring. He says pretty words, but he’ll never understand if you were to repeat the things he’s said back to him. Underneath that prestigious bravado and practiced façade, Astarion still understands little of his own divinity and worth. You’re thankful for him as much as he is for you, and you allow him this. He finds his worth at your core and marvels in it, allowing you to see him as Astarion. Like a mortal making a deal with a cambion, he reaches for you.
‘Do you want me inside of you?’ he asks in a graveled voice.
‘More than anything else,’ you reply, choking on how thick your want is. You think about how it feels every time he’s claimed you and shudder. ‘Please.’
‘I am going to get lost in you for hours,’ Astarion promises. He smiles, dangerous and dark. ‘When you return to your post, you’ll feel me still. You’ll be sorer than you’ve ever been.’
You are so aroused it’s painful. You ache and twist, spreading your legs so that he might take you then and there without so much as a second thought. You need the closeness. His grounding touch. His cock, as much as it would embarrass you to say aloud, has been on your mind ever since he invited you inside his room. He strokes your hip.
‘You’re shaking,’ he says fondly.
He leans forward and kisses you. He connects with you like that, nose brushing yours affectionately, before he stares at the little shivers you’re now aware you’re doing. He sees everything, knows everything. It delights him.
And then he slides his cock into you. Slowly, agonizingly, inch by inch. He squeezes your hip in encouragement, but you’re too full and he’s too thick for you to manage any coherent thought. He’s determined to reach the deepest parts of your core.
Astarion speaks through gritted teeth. ‘You are perfect.’
‘No,’ you say. ‘You are.’
‘I like to watch,’ he says honestly. ‘I like to see how you take me. You’re so tight here, did you know?’
‘More  —  ’
‘Use your words for me.’
You swallow. ‘I want you  —  to fuck me.’
‘You’ve been a good pup,’ Astarion says with a small laugh. ‘I’ll make love to you until dawn calls.’
For the faintest few heartbeats, this is the only way you want to exist. He is pressed inside of you, and you are surrounded by nothing but him and his scent and his bed and his pretty words, longing so intently to memorialize this moment. Astarion is haloed by the silver moonlight. He shines prettier than the crown he wears at court.
He shines brighter than the stars.
You’re aware of how fragile your breathing sounds. You forcefully drag air down into your lungs and hold his gaze, so warm and soft when he looks at you. You don’t know why it’s so different this time with him, but you reach out until he entwines your fingers together and you lose yourself in a way you haven’t before. You don’t realize you’re crying until he coos at you and calls you beautiful.
Astarion only moves once he’s assured you’re not in any pain. He’s conscious of the way you tense, but you shake your head and try to dry your tears.
If you’re being honest, you aren’t really sure why you’re so emotional tonight.  You’re ignoring what the rings promise on purpose. A meaning that you are too nervous to confront. You know it’s how much you wish this was your fate. It all comes to a boil when he leans forward and kisses the tip of your ear. Astarion wraps his arms around you and moans softly in your ear, the heat of his cheek flush against your temple.
‘I love you,’ he whispers.
‘I can feel you,’ you whisper back, voice uneven. ‘All the way inside.’
‘Our souls are touching tonight,’ Astarion promises you. ;This is what I want to give you.’
Once he’s assured that you’re fine, Astarion begins moving inside you. You still feel overly full. It’s almost difficult to breathe, that you’re so aware of how deep his cock is inside of you  —  as if it’s the first time you’ve experienced him before. He murmurs encouragement into your hair and ruts further and further, but when you press your fingers against his biceps, you can feel how he’s shaking too.
‘Let me be yours,’ you say softly, eyes fluttering closed. ‘Let me be with you, Astarion, please.’
‘You are my pretty consort,’ Astarion says fiercely. ‘You belong to me, and I to you.’
His consort, his knight. The one he comes home to, that he ignores all the other lovely people at court for. The idea of it makes your blood warm, makes you feel a little wild and different. You rock your hips back against Astarion’s. Feeling him lose what little of his control pushes you over the edge. You start mumbling nonsensically, thank you, thank you, my prince, my star, thank you, I feel it, Astarion and he growls low in the bottom of his throat. His hips stutter against yours and you know with a little wiggle, you could make him spend then and there.
It’s only when Astarion pushes into you as far as he can go, the tip of his cock pressed as deep into your core as you can handle it, that you remember what a devout worshiper you are. You’re fully aware of how your spine protests the way your back arches up off the bed. You feel Astarion’s mouth hot and desperate against the side of your throat, his hands slowly sliding down your skin to grip your hips, the tips of his fingers digging in harshly to the curve of your ass.
When you dare meet his gaze, you’re mesmerized. 
Astarion has always been the most beautiful person you’ve ever set eyes on. The height of his cheekbones, the way they flush when you moan his name. His uneven smile, the way his teeth point when he laughs. His intense eyes that take in even your faintest moves. He is sharp and calculated, cunning and keen on dramatics  —  but underneath, you can see the gentler side. The warmth in his gaze. The way he laughs ugly with you instead of with practiced finesse. You fit rather well together. Perfectly, like a puzzle. Intoxicatingly. He catches you staring and his breath catches in his throat.
You must be quite the sight as well. Astarion always lavished you with the utmost attention, often buying you things you’d never need as a knight. Rings, gowns, circlets and other finery to wear with him on your occasional strolls through Baldur’s Gate when you were off-duty and carefree.
You feel nearly feral at this moment. It takes all your self-control to not rake your nails down his spine or bite his shoulder because you’re too full and he’s too much and you’re almost certain you’re going to explode, but you wrap your legs around his hips and pull him tighter to you until there’s almost nothing else he can do that grind uselessly, desperate sounds coming from both of your mouths as you try to hold on just a little longer.
Without thinking, without caution, you whisper, ‘Inside  —  Tonight, I want you to  —  ’
‘Gods,’ he chokes out. ‘You’ll be the death of me.’
‘Please,’ you beg. ‘I’ve been good. I’ve been  —  ’
Astarion burrows his face against your collarbone, whining unceremoniously. That’s when you can feel it, his cum, hot and warm, so wonderful and dizzying that you also forget to be dignified. Your fingers stutter against his skin, and if it was painful to experience, the only proof is the way Astarion hisses at the burn and coils dangerously beneath your touch.
‘That’s it,’ he soothes proudly. ‘You’ve done well, my sweet.’
You murmur, ‘So much.’
‘Don’t tease me,’ Astarion says. He pouts his bottom lip. ‘You’re quite beautiful, you know.’
‘Not as beautiful as you,’ you say.
‘Well,’ Astarion allows with a small laugh, ‘I am rather perfect, I agree.’
He groans when he pulls away from you, brow furrowed in concentration. He trembles with exertion, and whatever other plans he might have had are forgotten, for Astarion drops down into his sheets beside you in all his naked and exhausted glory and presses close to you, an arm thrown over your waist.
A pang of guilt hits you at the sight of his closed door. Your armor is thrown carelessly across this floor, and while you wish you could enjoy this moment of bliss with him, you must continue to do your actual duty of guarding the prince. You move, delicate, to stand up. Astarion wraps his other arm around you.
‘Where are you going?’ he demands tiredly. ‘The sun is not yet up. Come back.’
‘My post  —  ’
‘Fuck your post,’ he snorts. ‘Your only duty is to lie in my bed and look pretty.’
You open your mouth to protest, but Astarion fusses. It’s hard to deny him even though you know only what the Captain of his Kingsguard has instilled in you. The moonlight is a gorgeous embellishment on his skin, and the ridges of his body are enticing enough that you forget your vows for the time being. Your heart squeezes at the tenderness. Astarion welcomes you back into his arms without further complaint. It’s your turn to tuck your head against his shoulder, basking in the warmth of his body as he cradles you close.
‘This is where you belong,’ Astarion tells you plainly. ‘You and I belong in bed having forgotten our other duties forevermore. The kingdom may fall to rot and ruin for all I care. As long as I have you, I care not.’ He touches your hip.  ‘I know what you must be thinking. That it isn’t that easy. But it is that easy. I’m the prince and I want it to be so. I see our fate in my dreams.’
You allow yourself to daydream and doze for the moment. He’s murmuring sweet things into your hair, and your eyes are so heavy you know when you close them, it’ll be hard for you to wake up if you give in. The ache in your muscles is comforting. It’s a reminder of all the ways Astarion has ever had you, and you can’t help but wonder if this really is where your life was always meant to head.
You do fall asleep. Despite your best efforts to stay awake, you fall into a peaceful slumber with Astarion’s hand petting your spine. When you next awake, Astarion is no longer at your side. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed staring out of the window watching as dawn begins to peek through.
He hasn’t left you entirely alone. He’s draped his many fancy satin blankets over you and somehow managed to coax your head onto a pillow without waking you. You’re almost inspired to fall back asleep at the sight, but the view of Astarion basking in an orange glimmer keeps you from entering the depths of your mind once more.
‘No,’ Astarion says. He’s smiling. ‘Don’t move. I like the way you look.’
‘And how do I look, your highness?’
‘Sated.’
‘Come back to me, my love,’ you say. You try to hold one of your hands out, but you’re still so very tired from before. You press your cheek further into the pillow. ‘’m cold.’
‘I was thinking,’ he says.
‘Enough thinking,’ you whine. ‘I miss you beside me.’
‘Promise me something first.’
‘What shall I promise?’
‘That when I am king, you will help me create my new world,’ Astarion says, peering affectionately at you from over his shoulder. ‘A world where you are both my shield and my consort. A world where no one else like us has to get hurt.’
You start to sit up at that, blood suddenly rushing to your head as you try to think of what he means. Were you not already his Shield, extending your Sword to his greatest foes? Were you not already his Consort in all but proper name? You furrow your eyebrows, too sleepy and overwhelmed, but Astarion is quick to come to your side, to press kisses into your hair and against your ear and at the tears on your cheeks.
‘When I am king, there will be no need for us to hide like this,’ Astarion promises, petting his hand comfortingly down your spine. He shushes you. ‘I will sit on the throne and you will sit beside me.’ When he’s certain you’re done crying, he adds, ‘Or in my lap, if you prefer.’
Somehow, there’s only one thing you can manage to say. ‘I love you.’
‘And I love you,’ Astarion says. ‘That’s why I will do this for us.’
‘Will it go well?’
He hums. ‘Of course it will go well. I will be king. I will make it go well.’
You say again, ‘I love you.’
‘We are the Prince and his Shield,’ Astarion tells you sweetly, voice melodic in your ear. ‘This will be our world. You were made for me, and I was made for you, and we will do as we are meant to do.’
‘I promise,’ you say, ‘to help you.’
‘Then say no more, my love,’ he whispers. He kisses the side of your throat again and slowly pulls his silk sheets away from your skin. The cold morning air leaves a trail of gooseflesh down your spine, and he tastes every knot of it with his mouth and tongue. He gives you commands, ‘Let me have you again. You’re so beautiful in the morning light. I need you now more than ever. Gods, the things you do to me.’
You rock your hips back to meet his. It’s an alluring situation straight from your wildest, most longing of dreams  —  a world where you might sit alongside Astarion as he rules, no longer a simple guard dog to follow commands, but something else. Something sweeter.
It was like marriage but better. The thought of you and Astarion rising to godhood through his own determined means rather than falling into the same song the bards often liked to play on unrequited love. You allow him to trace his fingers down your stomach to that place between your legs, your warm core where you’re certain he’s found his divinity. Astarion presses his cock against your lower back and gives into his own avarice. He bites your shoulder almost a touch too rough and leaves a bruise in the shape of his teeth, reveling in your shocked cry.
You want him.
You want to be by his side, to kneel at his feet. You want to watch him dress in the mornings and fall into his arms every evening. You want to place his crown atop his brow. You arch your hips against his waist, and ponder about the creation of the empyrean heavens above. You will guide him to become celestial.
It’s with a near untamed fervor that Astarion tears through his sheets to get to you. He slides his knee beneath yours and pushes it forward, his breath warm and hiccuped against the blade of your shoulder. He doesn’t hurt you and he never would, but he slides his cock inside, the tenderness of earlier forgotten.
‘Be loud,’ he encourages you, groaning, his hand still scrambling against the arc of your belly. He sounds debauched. ‘Let them all hear. Let them know.’
He fucks into you like he wants you both to grow together. One body and one soul. You’re glad for it. It only intensifies the burn from the evening and pushes you to a place you’ve never been before. You’re almost certain you see sparks in your vision, but you do as asked. You don’t swallow down your moans. They’re taut, sharp, staccato ah-ah-ahs that match the sun’s rise.
It’s almost sweet how hard Astarion fucks into you. His princely demeanor is gone now, the control he tries to exhibit. He moans freely as well and kisses without meaning. Your shoulder, the back of your head, the nape of your neck, and he’s babbling things that don’t make sense. But you’re no better. Your cheeks are so warm you’re feverish, hands clenched in his sheets, and the pleasure borders on welcomed pain when he sits up behind you, knee still forcing you to be pliant, as he drags his cock in and out of you from behind. Astarion is watching again, one hand on your lower back, the other on your ass. When you try to hide your face in mild embarrassment, he scolds you.
‘Let me see you,’ Astarion rasps. ‘Let me see, I want to see everything  —  ’
So you let him, shifting and arching as much as your back will let you. Your muscles feel strained. Your mind is hardly there. But the prince has asked, and it would be rude of you to not heed his call. It’s not as though it matters. You’re easily distracted by the way he presses himself in and out of you, intoxicated by the gravitational pull he’s created between you. You can’t help but lean into his every touch, to mewl, to whine the exact way he likes.
You wonder what Lord Gortash would think of his loyal dog if he saw it now. You were taught the blade and the bow, how to use a lance and a shield, and you were never meant to be anything more than a warrior given to the ground so that he could get on the good side of the king. There isn’t much of your life you can remember before you were brought to the steps of the throne room and thrown down before the prince and his father. All you remember is looking up and seeing an angel smiling down at you.
So you arch your back and push up into your elbows, looking over your shoulder to catch Astarion’s eyes. He’s constantly looking between your face to make sure you’re alright and looking down at your hips where your bodies meet. He has the audacity to blush. It makes him look sweet and less severe.
‘More  —  ’
The fairest thought you have is that you’re not sure you can take more. There’s something ferocious building in the pit of your stomach, a volatile hunger unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. Your almost delirious with how much greed is inside you, how you long to do this all day if you could. Sitting pretty on your hands and knees and belly while Astarion ravishes you  —  forgetting your duties and the kingdom  —  but it’s somehow worse than before when you’re aware that he would do the same. Gone is any sense of decency, replaced by something carnal, something infernal.
Just when you think he might be done with you, Astarion pulls out and drags your body along. He lays handsomely in the center of his pillows, a deep blue and rich satin and silk display, and pulls you into his lap. His bottom lip is ruined from where he’s bitten it in an attempt to maintain control.
He arranges for you as he likes. He tilts his head to the side as if looking upon a painting. Finally, he coaxes you upwards and whispers kind encouragements as you guide and slide his cock back inside of you. You aren’t sure how far it can go, but then it goes deeper and deeper and deeper until you’re sick.
‘Oh,’ you cry sweetly. ‘It’s too much. It’s too much, I can’t  —  ’
‘You can,’ Astarion promises, rubbing his thumb across your hip. ‘You can do anything. You were made for me, and I was made for you, and we were created for this.’
You sit atop him, your ass flush against his hips, and try desperately to not squirm in his lap. The wiggling makes it worse, you think. You feel swollen around him. He feels thickest inside of you. And you can’t help but lean forward as he rubbs his hands up and down your spine, kissing your temple and cheek and jaw. You can kiss him better this way. You can taste the sweetness of his mouth, taste his words.
‘I love you,’ you say over and over.
‘I know,’ he murmurs, kissing your tears.
And you do cry in this position, overwhelmed and stuttering. Astarion guides your hips back and forth across his so that he’s not necessarily drilling inside of you, but watching how you dance across his cock. He always watches so intently as if he’s afraid to miss anything you do. He guides you intently, humming, tensing beneath your thighs as you try to balance yourself with your hands on his belly.
Astarion moans at the sight. He sounds positively wrecked. You decide that you want to hear him sing for you again, so you raise your hips this time and slide them back down. You squeeze your eyes shut in concentration, treating it more like trying to hit a tricky shot with an arrow rather than taking and un-taking every inch of his cock. You’re trembling so much that you seek out his hands, guiding them away from your hips so he can tuck them under your thighs for help.
‘Ah,’ Astarion says hoarsely. ‘Fuck.’
And that’s how he helps you, his hands helping carry your weight so that you can bounce on his cock and enjoy every minute of it. The physical strain is worth it. You know Astarion likes to watch, possessive of the way you look and ride, and his eyes shine with a certain kind of deviance that you’ve grown to love.
It’s a long way from where you started as a poor soul standing on the steps, but you lean forward and kiss your raison d'être on his open mouth, savoring the way his bruised lip tastes in your mouth, enjoying just how much he enjoys you. The sunlight warms your skin and basks Astarion in a golden glow, so impossibly handsome that they should write songs about the way he looks after a night of lovemaking. He groans, trapping your bottom lip between his teeth and bites down hard enough you’re almost certain he’s drawn blood.
You don’t mind it. You welcome the rougher things, enjoy them as much as he does. You lean back, hands now behind you on his thighs, and try to not feel too self-conscious about how open you’re being with your body. You’re encouraged to do it. His reactions are what drive you to be better. Because Astarion’s eyes widen slightly to take in the sight of your legs spread apart as you sit on his cock, your skin shining with a delicate veil of sweat. He comes with a rough moan.
Gods, you could listen to the sound of him all day.
You fall forward onto Astarion’s chest. Your limbs feel like nothing after a night of increasingly more difficult sex, but it’s worth it for the way he spoils you after. Astarion kisses you nice and slow, lips and tongue and teeth, as if an apology for the roughness you willingly endured. He cradles you close to his body. He always seeks your warmth, always tries to press as close as he can.
It’s your turn to preen under his careful ministrations. Astarion pushes your sweaty hair back from your face and runs the tips of his fingers across your cheekbones and forehead, following the delicate lines of your bone structure. He lightly pinches your cheeks as if to savor the heat of your blush, but it doesn’t hurt when he does it. He kisses them better. He helps you slide back down into his sheets and takes note of the mess, smoothing his fingers against the bruises and love bites he’s left as gifts against your skin.
Astarion takes gentle care as he lifts your hand. He admires the ring on it and watches as he slides his fingers into yours so that his ring can crowd the empty spaces of your fingers. He kisses the back of your hand like a proper prince and then unceremoniously collapses down by your side, boneless and lazy.
‘You’ve made a mess,’ you accuse him sleepily.
‘I made you happy,’ Astarion corrects.
You reach out and touch his throat. ‘You’ve ruined your sheets.’
‘These sheets are perfect, my love,’ he murmurs. ‘Just like you.’
Later in the morning, after you’ve rested again despite your attempts to stay awake, you’re coaxed back into existence by Astarion’s lips dancing softly against the nape of your deck. You’re almost certain he’s going to ask for more  —  a thought that startles you  —  but instead he lifts you from the depths of his blankets and carries you to a bathing tub in the corner of his quarters. He lowers you into freshly warmed water, and you try to not let how much you long for him show.
‘The maids  —  ’
‘They’ve seen you,’ he says with a shrug. ‘But they did not care. You should have heard the way they swooned over us.’
He lavishes you again with rose petals and fancy perfumes and soaps. He guides a cloth over your skin and even massages a rather determined knot in your hip. You lean into his touch, eyes fluttering closed. You’d let him pamper you for the next month if you could.
‘I will have you like this often,’ Astarion warns. ‘Tonight. Every night. You have no idea what you’ve done to me. It’s like you’ve enchanted me.’
He’s climbed in with you at this point, tucked behind you so that he can style your hair in a plait. He likes the way it’s gotten long. You can tell how hard he’s thinking by how silent he is. His fingers trickle water down your spine and occasionally trace the shape of a petal against your skin. You shiver and allow him these idle distractions, basking in his touches and singing while he allows himself to wander in his lost thoughts. You fall asleep again briefly, lulled into a dream by the warmth and the relaxing scents of the many perfumes and Astarion humming softly in your ear.
Astarion washes your chest again to avoid having to leave the bath. He’s in one of his contemplative moods, eyes somewhere a thousand miles away, lips twisted in curiosity. You would’ve stayed forever as well, but the water is slowly getting colder and you’re beginning to shiver. You look over your shoulder at him. You watch as his eyelashes flutter and close as if he too is moments away from falling asleep, but then you see it. A sign of melancholic hope.
‘You and I belong together,’ you tell him.
‘We are the greatest match together the world has ever seen,’ Astarion agrees. ‘There is no one else.’
‘It is an honor,’ you say. You catch a petal in your palm and show him.
He pulls your fingers up to his mouth with his own hand guiding you. He kisses your palm and the petal, and then each of your fingertips one by one.
‘I’m doing this for you, you know,’ he murmurs.
‘You are doing this for us,’ you say, shaking your head. ‘We are a family.’
‘We are more than a family,’ he insists. ‘We are more than lovers. Our souls belong together.’
‘I’ve never been happier,’ you say.
Whatever world Astarion is imagining, you’re beginning to see it too. A world where being a king means more than throwing extravagant parties and hosting masquerades and balls and ignoring those in need. Astarion cares because you care, and that makes your heart squeeze dangerously. You are with Astarion when he usurps his father’s court. He had called them weak-willed men in front of his own council, his lip curled in distaste. They had allowed a shadow ruler to take his father’s place for years, had controlled the crown like a puppeteer would his prized puppet. And now, Astarion has pulled together enough favor to overthrow those who had betrayed him, who had betrayed you, and who had betrayed Baldur’s Gate most of all.
‘I believe you are sitting in my chair,’ Astarion calmly tells Ketheric Thorm.
The removal of the pretenders is fairly certain. Ketheric’s own daughter Isobel aids in his arrest. The installation of Astarion’s council is relatively easy with such esteemed replacements. Wyll Ravengard takes his father’s place as Lord Commander of the Flaming Fist. Karlach takes Enver Gortash’s place as leader of the city guard, betrayed as you were, and her eyes burn with heat when she pulls him from his tower. Gale and Shadowheart had been planning the entire thing for years behind the scenes, favoring Astarion against the old court. All you do is stand beside Astarion with your hand on the hilt of your blade though no one dared raise their arms against him.
Astarion’s coronation takes place later that week, and even with all the planning, he does not allow you to stray from his side. You are with him when meeting with the emissaries Lady Lae’zel and Lord Halsin and Lady Jaheira. You are with him during his fittings. You are with Astarion the night before when he fucks you so hard you see stars.
You are there the day of his coronation. He is dressed in brilliant reds and off-whites and wears a crown with rubies. You stand alongside him in the armor he commissioned for you styled after Dame Aylin’s and hold the sword gifted to you from the crown.
It is a wedding as well.
A wedding of peace and resilience. A wedding of love and understanding.You drop down before him to one knee and swear anew your vows, though now they taste sweeter on your tongue.  I am the Sword of the Crown, the Shield of the Realm, the Consort of the Chosen. I serve no one but the Rightful King, the First of His Name, the Soul of Truth, Astarion Ancunin. When you rise, Astarion kisses you.
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lundenloves · 6 months
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IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE, I MEET MY FATHER WHEN HE IS A CHILD
〔 yeah this had no idea being as emotionally intense as it was, and for that, i will take a swig of this wine i’m drinking. a rhône red. this is based off the poem by nikita gill — and dedicated to all the girlies who relate. i love you, you are seen. 〕
˗ˏˋ i have a lot of requests in my inbox. i’ll take ages to do them because all of my time is stolen by the ceiling whom i stare at lovingly. it’s been really rough lately folks, i won’t lie.
⇀ warnings of brief abuse mentions | 1.7k
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A father and his youngest daughter. Simon and his youngest daughter. A concept so simple but also complex. The last one to need dad, the last one to be embarrassed of him, the last one to scoff after consoling kisses to her temple, the last one to say bye to him and the last one to move out. Every of his efforts landed enough for surface satisfaction, though not deep enough to reject tears over TikTok slideshows. Father quotes, embedded between photos of old and new paintings, some of animals hugging and others of people. 
What if you met your father when he was a child? It said, eleven words that joined together to create a swell of pity in her stomach. The clock turned three and darkness welcomed the girlhood routine of small houred upset. 
In another universe,
I meet my father
when he is a child. 
Her chest hurt. She hadn’t said bye to him, too busy on the phone with her friend. Undoubtedly another teenage drama, one that lasted only an hour at best when saying goodbye could’ve taken mere seconds and lasted forever. He stood in her door frame, camouflage clad and knocking to enter. 
“Bye.” She’d mumbled, now touching her shoulder at the invisible feeling of his hand. A touch that she had learned meant love from her father, his calloused fingers padding twice before pressing a kiss to her cheek and walking out. He always closed the door behind him, a fatherhood instinct he had picked up from the years. 
She viscerally pictured his youth. An image near scolded into her brain from the single photo she had seen. Stood without a smile, hand raised to bite on his nail. He was small against his older brother who looked just the same, a distant hand placed on Simon’s shoulder. It was something that she thought about often, about how even in his childhood she hadn’t seen one smile.
It was telling.
We play catch in the woods
and as we play he tells me
he isn’t allowed to cry
but sometimes the world 
hurts him and he doesn’t know
what to do with all that pain. 
One tear fell. She could hear the young voice, something so untainted but so far from happiness. A nonchalance sprouted from a young age, said with a shrug and a wide eyed stare — something like an animal in headlights. Her own childhood easily caught up to his, passing him by without a look back. The boy dropped his arm and watched her walk by, dark circles made home under his eyes and the bruises on his arms harbored, making their place known for years to come. 
So I give him the shoulder he needs to cry on. 
And he does. He does 
Until the tears are done. 
Her lip tasted salty, one or two more tears dropping for the thought of her father at her age. Still and silent, an observant soul with a foul temper. One tested more than he would’ve hoped or had energy for — if not his father, then school peers, finding joy in persistent teasing for his solemn stares and aggressive responses. 
It was something he had carried to adulthood, to parenthood. Dropping the bag of trauma at the door and doing his best to avoid the handle, locking the door and throwing away the key to avoid stepping near or on anything delicate. Anything that could set him off, for anger and upset had been merged into one. Because it wasn’t right to be emotional, it wasn’t right to cry or show visible turmoil because that’s not what men were like was it? Nevermind a five, nine, twelve or sixteen year old boy. 
Tears were the crime, anger was the fine. Even now, his rare despair came laced with anger and she couldn’t help in finding similarities to herself. She was her fathers’ daughter. Her smile, her eyes and her cry. Silent. Her ears went red the same way his did, her pitch raised when on the defence and her tears came at night when no one was around to see them. 
Like now. 
As she lay in bed, wiping tear-stained cheeks in a house bought from what was ultimately Simon’s life. Every deployment it seemed far fetched to assume he wouldn’t come back, though it was easy to forget the very real possibility. His texts kept her mind from wandering too far, a simple text of good morning or night. Something he knew was reassuring, because as much as she was his daughter he was also her father. 
Afterwards, I buy him ice cream 
and I listen to his laugh, 
the glowing warm laugh
of a child who knows he is safe. 
Isn’t it weird how you can feel it in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings? A sinking feeling, one that you can’t seem to shake until your head decides to alleviate you of the weight. Her head spun at the thought, her father as a child and this continuous feeling — something that happened so often he almost found comfort in it. 
Familiarity runs a person. It’s undeniable, anything merely familiar is a driving point for the average individual. Though it was easy to forget the definition was different for everyone. For some, it was being born into a burning house with spits of fire. The inclination to find a human equivalent of petrol just to start a riot, finding home in forever arguments and turbulence. Simon was scared that’s what he would create, a lineage of trauma and anger. 
But he hadn’t. Not to the extent he was worried for anyway, instead, his girls were extended parts of the warmth he feared yet craved so deeply. The feeling of safety was a necessity growing up, it’s grounding — something he wasn’t a party of privilege to and it made his daughter sob. 
It made her sob how his hugs were forever tainted by his childhood. A fear to hold both arms tight in favor of a one armed distancing method, one that was abolished when drunk and she received his longing. Constant drunken smiles, laughs, hugs and words of affirmation. Her phone was pulled from the bedside table, scrolling to find his contact and phoning him without a second thought. 
It was even later where he was, but still the phone barely had a chance to ring once before he had answered. “Hi, you alright?” Voice hoarse from sleep, forever in concern. 
She imagined him sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing at his eyes with a mighty frown across his brow. One that would soften as she began to cry down the line, “I feel bad I didn’t say bye to you.”
“You did.” He’d almost laugh instantly, his own attempt to lift her up from thousands of miles away. “Don’t cry over it.” A pause. “It’s late where you are, eh?” The creak of his bed sounded over the phone and she knew he was getting up to start his day rather than go back to sleep. 
I wish someone could 
have done that for him. 
She hated it. The way he would throw emotion away by retreating to his room for days after coming home. It was something she hadn’t paid any attention to being younger, but the older she got, and the older he got, it became obvious. The undeniable anxiety in his shaky hands, all pent up worry from being so still on the field releasing. He couldn’t hold a mug for days, growing red faced out of frustration and subsequent embarrassment over the inability to do something so simple. 
“Are you alright dad?” She’d ask, watching from the threshold as he clinked the ceramic against the counter — a crass sound filling the room and then his puff of anger. The tea spilled across the surface, his fist encouraging the flow with a thump against the marble. “I’ll get it.” Voice quiet, wary eyes catching his own.
His jaw tightened at her presence, pushing both hands up through his hair and down to rub his face. “No, it’s—” He cut himself off with a timely blink. “Sorry.” He motioned to the spillage, taking steps backward to lean against the surface behind him, instantly zoning out. 
Sometimes he wanted to cry. 
But it didn’t ever happen. 
Been a kind, safe place
for the child he used to be. 
Would it have made a difference? 
Would it have made a difference? 
The worst feeling in the world was that of neglect. The feeling of loving someone so hard, on your knees in front of them begging for them to love you back, and yet, only receiving a familiar feeling of disappointment running cold in your veins. Nothing but abuse and torment, the pining for warmth becoming redundant against each icy spit. It was worse coming from someone you looked up to. Anyone from a friend to a sister and a brother. But worst of all. A parent. 
Because there was something devastating about the lack of parental love for a youth. Those key years are knocked for six by the physical blows and emotional hits. It shapes you. Molds each crevice in your brain to whatever badness it feels, manifesting in forms of wrathful anger or complete silence, a primal human instinct to protect yourself. 
Not that it ever worked. 
It never does. 
Instead, it works in tandem with the abuser. Silence aiding an escalation of the inevitable. But one or two hits isn’t so bad, right? The purpling of your cheekbones feels like home and it’s not something you can ever leave.
Simon recognised that from a young age. 
And if the tears hadn’t been beaten out of him and he was able, he would’ve cried. Ten years old, yet his tears had already run out.
But would it have made a difference?
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as always, comments are reblogs are highly highly appreciated! if no one pats me on the head every now and then, i’ll fall down a hole.
simon 'ghost' riley taglist: @vamppxncess @crowbird @tallrock35 @fluffmonster @islanderr @blueoorchid @lea3773 @coldflapjack @rayhawk05 @han11dh @liishook @melovetitties @fallonx @rvjaa @fuckmelifesucks @bhayatsara @takeomisbitch @local-spidey @konigsblog @penutjuice @babychoi03 @sheluvzeren @sparklingtragedy @maviee @wiserebelpartypie @daddylorianisastateofmind @bhayatsara @mistydeyes @writingmysanity @johfaam0 @idkbbyx3 @gressseyy @shibble @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @airghostlyfox @hotgirlsshareaccounts @simpxinnie @cliosunshine @bloobewy @lazybutsmexy @iluvoaldmen @yyiikes @tieflingteatime @cosmoscoffee @lilvampirina @cinnabeanz @bubbyblob @spencerreidisbae123 @paperbag-prncss @cookiecutta
i cant tag more than 50 people, so will tag in comments!
i tag x reader as it’s your family with him, your daughter.
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diorctrl · 2 months
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OH NO! I ACCIDENTALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU park sunghoon x fem reader 𓂂 ˳ warnings: college au, yn is a mess, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers, sports rivals, kissing, some swearing
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YN AND SUNGHOON HAD BEEN RIVALS since their first year at hybe university. both of them were captains of their respective soccer teams and they constantly teased each other, trying to outdo one another on the field.  yn was pretty popular on campus, not just because she was the captain of the girls soccer team, but also because of her charming personality and athletic abilities. She was often described as chill, goofy and easy to get along with. however, her beauty was often overshadowed by her best friend, aeri.
aeri was the school's queen to put it in exaggeration, she was beautiful and had a way of getting what she wanted. she was also yn's roommate and the two of them had been inseparable since their freshman year. however, aeri's popularity often made yn feel invisible, especially when it came to guys.but that was the least of her worries, as she had her eyes set on soccer and soccer only.
as aeri’s best friend yn had hear the girl talk on and on about the man she hated most.
sunghoon.
sunghoon was the captain of the boys soccer team and was known for his good looks and popularity. He was often seen hanging out with his teammates, jake, jay and heeseung, yn liked to call the four of them dumbest , dumb, dumber and the smart one.
you can guess which is which. It was warm outside, the sun beaming down on yn as she wiped the falling sweat off her forehead and drank the water from her bottle, letting out deep breaths. aeri watched her friend with her face scrunched in disgust, unable to hide her disdain for yn’s athletic pursuits.
on the other side of the field, sunghoon was practicing with the boys' team, his every move drawing admiration from aeri. she watched him with a dreamy look in her eyes, completely enamoured by his presence.
"yn, can you please help me get with sunghoon?" aeri asked suddenly, breaking yn’s concentration.
yn turned around in bewilderment to make sure aeri was talking about the same sunghoon, the same annoying sunghoon that she couldn’t stand with her being, “him?” she asked awfully loud.
she scrunches her face at aeri’s nodding, "what? why? would you want to get with sunghoon? you know I can't stand him," yn replied, confused.
aeri rolled her eyes and leaned back against the bleachers, “can you put this petty rivalry behind you for a second and help me get with him? you know how much I like him and you know I would do the same the for you.”
yn stubbornly looked off to the side, her mind running fast, does she really want to help her friend get with the man that’s the main reason why she has stress acne? aeri let out a sigh and grabbed one of yn’s hands, “please? when we get together you’ll be able to brag to him that you’re the very reason why he has a girlfriend, that would for sure bruise his ego and I know how much you love doing that.”
aeri's words echoed in yn's mind, and despite her reluctance, she couldn't deny the appeal of bruising sunghoon's ego. She let out a sigh, knowing that aeri was right - she would want the same kind of help if she were in aeri's shoes.
"fine, I'll help you," yn finally relented, giving aeri a small smile. "but you owe me big time for this."
aeri's face lit up with excitement, and she hugged yn tightly. "thank you, thank you, thank you! You won't regret this, I promise."
as they walked off the field together, yn couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. helping aeri get with sunghoon meant spending even more time with him, something she wasn't looking forward to. but for the sake of her friendship with aeri, she was willing to put aside her feelings and help her friend achieve her dream with being with the boy.
little did yn know, this decision would change everything, leading to a series of events that would test her loyalty, her friendship, and her heart.
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MOST OF THE TIME, the boys and girls soccer practices are joint together which was the main reason for yn and sunghoon’s dislike for each other but that’s a story for another day.
the captain’s argument got them a day where both teams have their own days where it’s only their team that has the field, today was tuesday which was the boys team day, and was also the reason why yn was looking at aeri in confusion as they walked onto the field.
“what are we doing?”yn asked has aeri linked their arms, “starting the process of me winning sunghoon.” aeri whispered back.
as aeri and yn approached sunghoon, yn felt a knot form in her stomach. she knew this interaction would be awkward, to say the least.
"hey, sunghoon," aeri greeted him with a bright smile. "we just wanted to say, your footwork out there is really impressive."
sunghoon looked at aeri, then glanced at yn, a puzzled expression crossing his face. their rivalry was well-known, and compliments from yn were unheard of.
"uh, thanks," sunghoon replied, a hint of confusion in his voice. "I didn't know you were into soccer."
aeri shrugged. "I'm not, but we can appreciate talent when we see it," she said smoothly, shooting a quick glance at yn.
sunghoon's eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was trying to figure out aeri's angle. “well, thanks for the compliment," he said, his tone slightly guarded. "Is there something you wanted to talk to me about? I’ve never seen your big mouth so quiet yn.”
yn has to stop herself from lunging at him as aeri laughed at his words.
“we do actually,” she starts “I had to drag her over here, because we both know how stubborn she is, yn needs your help with some soccer technique.”
as aeri pushed her towards sunghoon, yn stumbled slightly before regaining her composure. she shot aeri a glare that could have frozen lava, but aeri just grinned back at her, unrepentant.
"actually , I don't need any help," yn said, trying to salvage some dignity. "I'm perfectly fine on my own."
sunghoon raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by the situation. "really? because aeri seems to think otherwise," he said, a smirk playing on his lips.
yn felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. she hated being put on the spot like this, especially in front of sunghoon. but she knew she couldn't let aeri down, not after agreeing to help her win him over.
"fine, I'll admit it," yn said, reluctantly. "I could use some help with my technique."
sunghoon's smirk widened, clearly enjoying Yn's discomfort. "well, lucky for you, I'm always happy to help a fellow soccer player improve," he said, stepping closer to her, “especially the great yn.” he says sarcastically, “we can start after practice tomorrow, now get off my field.”
“your field?!” yn asks enraged, she opens her mouth to say some not nice words but aeri pulls her away before she can say anything, “yeah we better get going, see you around sunghoon.” she says sweetly.
as aeri pulled yn away from sunghoon, yn couldn't help but feel a surge of anger. she hated the way sunghoon always managed to get under her skin, to push her buttons with his arrogant attitude.
"can you believe him?" yn fumed as they walked away from the field. "who does he think he is, calling it his field?"
why did she even agree to doing this in the first place, she’s already regretting it, “how can you even like him?” she asks aeri who just shrugs.
as they walked back to the dorms, yn’s frustration bubbled up inside her. she couldn't understand how aeri could be so blind to sunghoon's flaws, so enamored by his charm.
"he’s just so cute and determined," aeri had said, as if that excused his behavior.
"more like a pain in my ass," yn muttered under her breath, earning a curious look from aeri.
"what was that?" aeri asked, tilting her head to the side.
"I said, he's more trouble than he's worth," yn replied, trying to keep her temper in check.
aeri just laughed, clearly unfazed by yn’s attitude. "you're just upset because he got the better of you today. don't worry, you'll get him back while you help me tomorrow.
yn couldn’t believe that she’d have to deal with him tomorrow.
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the next day, yn reluctantly went to the field. sunghoon was already there, waiting for her. yn tried to avoid making eye contact with him, but she could feel his gaze burning into her.
“so..” his voice filled her ears, “what do you need help with?”
yn hesitated, unsure of what to say. She had been so focused on helping aeri win sunghoon over that she hadn't thought about what she actually needed help with.
"I...I'm not sure, actually," yn admitted, feeling a flush of embarrassment. "I guess I just thought it would be good to get some tips from you."
sunghoon raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by yn’s request. "tips, huh? well, you're already pretty good, but I can always help you get even better."
yn felt herself get smug at what he said, “pretty good huh, did sunghoon just tell me that I was good? this is an honour.” she teases.
sunghoon chuckled, a lightness in his eyes that Yn hadn't seen before. "don't let it go to your head, yn. you're good, but there's always room for improvement."
yn grinned, enjoying the banter between them. She had never imagined that she would be joking around with Sunghoon like this.
as the afternoon went on sunghoon gave yn some tips on how to control the ball, obviously yn already knew how to do that.
it seemed like the universe was conspiring against her. as she tried to implement sunghoon's advice, she found herself tripping over her own feet, stumbling and nearly falling.
sunghoon, ever the quick thinker, reacted instantly, reaching out and catching yn before she hit the ground. His touch was gentle yet firm, and yn couldn't help but feel a jolt of electricity shoot through her at his close proximity.
"careful there, yn," sunghoon said, a teasing smile playing on his lips. "I don't think falling for me was part of the plan."
even though her heart was racing, yn pushed him off her and scrunched her face in disgust, “weirdo.” she said as she patted her self off.
sunghoon laughed at yn's flustered state, clearly amused by her reaction. "come on, yn, lighten up. It was just a joke," he said, holding his hands up in surrender.
yn rolled her eyes, trying to hide the fact that her heart was still racing from his touch. "yeah, well, next time, try a less hands-on approach," she quipped, trying to regain her composure.
sunghoon grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Noted," he replied, stepping back and giving Yn some space, “it’s getting late let’s get a drink from the cafe.” he offers.
yn hesitated for a moment, unsure if accepting sunghoon's offer was a good idea. after all, they had just spent the afternoon together, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to spend more time with him outside of practice but then she remembered the main reason on why she’s with him, to help aeri win him over.
"sure, a drink sounds nice," yn said with an awkward a smile.
sunghoon grinned, clearly pleased by her acceptance. they walked to the cafe together, chatting about soccer.
once they got to the cafe and ordered their drinks they sat together at a table near the window.
“so,” sunghoon starts, “what made you want to ask me for help? that’s something that I could never think of you of all people doing.”
shit, yn thinks to herself, now what lie what does come up with?
"well," yn started, "I've always admired your skills on the field. I thought, who better to ask for help than the captain of the boys' team?"
sunghoon raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. "really? You've never shown any interest in improving your game before."
yn felt herself sweating under his gaze. she knew she had to come up with a better excuse, and fast.
"I guess I just wanted to challenge myself," yn said, hoping he would buy her lie. "I thought, why not learn from the best? I know you of all people would give me a challenge.”
sunghoon seemed to consider her answer for a moment before nodding. "fair enough," he said, a small smile playing on his lips.
yn let out a sigh of relief, grateful that sunghoon had bought her lie, she opens her mouth but is interrupted by the buzz of her phone, its aeri
aeri babe🤍: how’s it going?
oh right, yn clears her throat and looks at sunghoon, “you know aeri right?”
“your friend?” sunghoon asked, “yeah I know her.”
“she’s pretty right?” she asks which results in Sunghoon looking at her weirdly, “she’s alright, not my type though.”
“what’s your type then?” she asks leaning forward, maybe this will help.
sunghoon leaned back, a thoughtful expression on his face. "my type?" he repeated, as if considering his answer carefully. "I guess someone who's confident, independent, and knows what they want."
yn nodded, feeling a sense of relief. Sunghoon's answer seemed to align with Aeri's personality, which meant that Yn's plan might still have a chance of succeeding.
"Interesting," yn replied, trying to keep her voice steady. "well, I should probably get going. thanks for the drink."
sunghoon smiled, a warm expression that made yn's heart flutter. ew what’s happening? “anytime," he said, standing up to leave. "I'll see you around, yn."
as yn walked away, she felt her mind racing, she had to remember who this is for, aeri.
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as the weeks turned into months, yn found herself enjoying sunghoon's company more and more. despite her initial intentions to help aeri win him over, yn couldn't deny the growing attraction she felt towards sunghoon.
It was like sunghoon had taken up residence in her mind, his teasing and playful banter becoming a welcome distraction from her thoughts. Instead of wanting to smack his smirk off his face, yn found herself wanting to kiss him, to feel his lips against hers.
but every time she felt herself getting too close to Sunghoon, she would remind herself of her loyalty to aeri. she had made a promise to help her friend, and she intended to keep it, no matter how difficult it was becoming.
and it was becoming really difficult.
“sunghoon invited us to jake’s party.” yn says to aeri who laid on her bed on her side of the dorm, “I don’t know if I want to go.”
“are you kidding me?!” aeri shot up, “we totally have to go, it’s been months of you helping me this party can be my chance of getting with sunghoon.”
yn knew that attending the party would be a crucial moment in their plan to get aeri closer to sunghoon. despite her own feelings, she couldn't let aeri down after all the help she had provided.
"okay, we'll go," yn said, forcing a smile. "It'll be fun."
aeri squealed in excitement, already planning what she would wear and how she would approach Sunghoon at the party. yn tried to push down the unease she felt, reminding herself that this was all for her friend.
as the night of the party approached, yn couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that settled in the pit of her stomach. she knew that this party would change everything, and she wasn't sure if she was ready for the consequences.
music filled yn’s ears as she stood in a corner and took a sip out of her drink, aeri ditched her not to long ago to talk to her other friends, not that yn mined though , she liked being alone sometimes.
after a while yn felt like going to the washroom, just to get away from the crowd, as she made her way through she bumped into someone causing her drink to fall all over her shirt.
sunghoon.
yn gasped as her drink spilled all over her shirt, the cold liquid seeping through the fabric. she looked up to see Sunghoon standing in front of her, a surprised expression on his face.
"oh shit, my bad" Sunghoon said, reaching out to help her. "here, let me help you clean that up, let’s go to the washroom.”
yn nodded, grateful for sunghoon's offer. they made their way to the bathroom, the loud music from the party fading into the background.
“wait in here, I always keep extra clothes here at the frat.” he says leaving the washroom and coming back with his jersey.
yn's eyes widened in surprise as Sunghoon handed her his jersey. "are you sure?" she asked, as he nodded his head.
“here let me help you,” he gestured for yn to lift her arms and he lifted her shirt off.
as sunghoon helped yn take off her shirt, she couldn't help but feel a flutter of nerves. his touch was gentle and warm, sending a shiver down her spine.
"thank you," yn said, feeling a blush creep into her cheeks. she quickly put on sunghoon's jersey, the fabric soft against her skin.
sunghoon smiled, his eyes meeting hers. "you look good in my jersey," he said, his tone soft.
yn's heart skipped a beat at his words. “shut up.” she whispered flustered earning a laugh from sunghoon.
he leaned closer to yn, “do you remember when you asked me what’s my type a couple months ago?” he asked and nodded her head.
“I forgot to add sporty girls.”
yn felt her cheeks flush at sunghoon's words. she tried to think of a witty response, but her mind was blank. all she could focus on was the closeness between them, the way his breath brushed against her skin.
"sporty girls, huh?"yn said, trying to keep her voice steady. "well, I guess that's lucky for me."
sunghoon chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "yeah, I guess it is," he replied, his voice low.
yn's heart was pounding in her chest, her mind racing with thoughts of sunghoon. she knew she should pull away, remind herself of her loyalty to aeri, but in that moment, all she wanted was to lean in and kiss him.
it seems like he was thinking the same thing because before yn can say anything sunghoon is giving her the eyes, the eyes that are asking for permission.
and in this moment the only thing on her mind was him, yn nodded immediately and sunghoon pressed his lips against hers, yn kissing back immediately.
he trails his hands down to her waist and lifts her up to sit on the counter.
as sunghoon lifted yn onto the counter, she wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. the world around them faded away, leaving only the two of them in that moment.
sunghoon's hands trailed up and down her sides, sending shivers down yn's spine. she had never felt so alive, so consumed by desire.
when they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless, their hearts racing. sunghoon rested his forehead against yn's, his eyes locked on hers.
"that was..." sunghoon started, but yn silenced him with another kiss, craving more of the intoxicating feeling he gave her.
as they kissed, yn couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt. she knew she was betraying aeri, her best friend, but in that moment, all she could think about was sunghoon and the undeniable chemistry between them.
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it has been a week since the party, yn remembers after her kiss with sunghoon aeri found her when it was time to leave and complained about how she couldn’t find sunghoon the whole party.
yn nodded, trying to hide her guilt. "yeah, it was pretty crowded," she replied, avoiding aeri's gaze.
aeri frowned. "I know, right? I was hoping to talk to sunghoon more, but he seemed to disappear," she said, her tone disappointed.
yn felt a pang of guilt. She knew she should tell Aeri about what had happened between her and Sunghoon, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was torn between her loyalty to her friend and her growing feelings for sunghoon.
and let’s say yn was making some pretty bad choices.
as sunghoon pressed his lips against yn's, she couldn't help but melt into the kiss. they were sitting on her bed, surrounded by textbooks, but all yn could focus on was the feeling of sunghoon's lips on hers.
earlier that day, sunghoon had asked her if he could come over to study, but yn knew that studying was the last thing on his mind. she had agreed, unable to resist the pull she felt towards him.
as they kissed, yn's mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. she knew she was making a mistake, betraying
as sunghoon pressed his lips against yn’s, she couldn't help but melt into the kiss. They were sitting on her bed, surrounded by textbooks, but all Yn could focus on was the feeling of Sunghoon's lips on hers.
earlier that day, sunghoon had asked her if he could come over to study, but yn knew that studying was the last thing on his mind. She had agreed, unable to resist the pull she felt towards him.
as they kissed, yn’s mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. she knew she was making a mistake, betraying aeri's trust and jeopardizing their friendship. but in that moment, all she could think about was the intense connection she shared with sunghoon.
“oh my gosh, the I have had.”
as the door opened, revealing aeri standing there, yn and sunghoon quickly pulled away from each other, both looking flustered.
aeri's eyes widened in surprise as she took in the scene before her. "oh," she said, her voice filled with disbelief. "I didn't realize you two were...studying together."
yn's heart sank as she saw the hurt in aeri's eyes. she knew she had hurt her friend, betrayed her trust, and she didn't know how to fix it.
"aeri, I can explain,"yn started, but aeri just shook her head, her expression unreadable.
"I don't want to hear it," Aeri said, her voice cold. "I trusted you, Yn. I thought you were my friend, you were supposed to help me get with him, not the other way around.”
with that, Aeri turned and walked out of the room, leaving a tearful yn and a confused sunghoon.
“what is she talking about?”
“aeri has had a crush on you for a while and she asked me to help her get with you,” yn sniffed, “I have to go talk to her.”
“wait- wait is that why you asked me about her all those months ago? you lied to me.”
yn nodded, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "yes, I lied to you," she admitted, her voice cracking with emotion. "I'm so sorry, sunghoon. I never meant for any of this to happen."
he shook his head and got up from the bed, “and I really thought that you had put your ego aside and wanted to be my friend, but all you did was lie.”
sunghoon's words hit yn like a ton of bricks. She felt the weight of her actions crashing down on her, the guilt and regret overwhelming her.
"I know, and I'm so sorry," ym said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was wrong to lie to you, and I understand if you can't forgive me, it was just the first time a guy looked at me first and not aeri.”
sunghoon looked at Yn, his expression unreadable. After a moment of silence, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to say, yn," he said, his voice filled with frustration. "I trusted you, and you betrayed that trust, how do I know if you even like me?” he asked giving her the opportunity to pour her heart out and say how much she likes him because that’s what he wanted, but her mind was to frantic to pick on up that.
yn felt her heart break at his words. She knew she had hurt him, and she didn't know if she could ever make things right.
she hurt him but most of all she hurt aeri.
"I just wanted to help aeri," yn said, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "but I ended up hurting everyone instead."
“oh my gosh, I have to go find aeri, I’m so sorry.” yn says before walking out the room and leaving sunghoon.
as yn hurried out of the room, her mind raced with thoughts of how to make things right with aeri. she knew she had to find her friend and apologize for everything that had happened.
she found aeri sitting alone on the floor looking at her phone with a pained expression. yn’s heart broke at the sight of her friend's sadness.
“aeri, I'm so sorry," yn said, her voice trembling with emotion. "I never meant to hurt you. I was wrong to lie to you and to sunghoon.”
aeri looked up at yn, her eyes filled with tears. "why? just why? was this your plan the whole time was it just to get close to him?"
yn shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "no, that was never my plan," she insisted. "I only wanted to help you because I knew how much you liked him. I never expected to develop feelings for sunghoon myself."
aeri looked at Yn, her expression softening slightly. "I understand that you were trying to help me," she said, her voice soft. "but you should have been honest with me from the moment you started gaining feelings for him, I would’ve understood yn, it doesn’t matter how much I like him, if I saw that you guys liked each other and looked happy I would’ve let him go.”
yn felt a pang of regret at aeri’s words. she had been so focused on helping her friend that she hadn't considered the consequences of her actions.
"I'm so sorry, aeri," yn said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I was just afraid of losing your friendship if I told you the truth."
aeri reached out and hugged yn tightly. "you'll never lose my friendship, yn," she said, her voice filled with emotion. "I value our friendship too much for that. but please, promise me that you'll always be honest with me, no matter what."
Yn nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "I promise, Aeri," yn said, hugging her friend back. "I'll always be honest with you from now on."
with that, yn and aeri sat together, talking and crying, but also laughing and forgiving.
“I left sunghoon at our dorm, he’s probably never going to forgive me.”
aeri looked at yn, her expression softening. "maybe he will, maybe he won't," she said gently. "but what's important is that you've learned from this experience and you're willing to make things right. That's all anyone can ask for."
yn nodded, grateful for aeri’s understanding. "I just hope he knows how sorry I am," she said, wiping away her tears. "I never meant to hurt him."
aeri gave yn's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sure he knows, yn," she said. "and if he doesn't forgive you, then it's his loss. you're an amazing person, and you deserve someone who sees that, let’s head back to the dorms.” yn nodded and they made their way back to the dorms when they entered, sunghoon and his stuff were gone.
“talk to him tomorrow,” aeri said making her way to her bed.
yn felt a mix of relief and anxiety at Sunghoon's absence. She knew she needed to talk to him and apologize, but she was afraid of what his reaction would be.
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the next day, yn walked onto the soccer field to find sunghoon alone cleaning up soccer balls.
as yn approached, sunghoon looked up, a faint smile playing on his lips. yn felt a mix of nervousness and relief. she had hoped he would be willing to talk, but she wasn't sure how he would react after their conversation.
"hey, sunghoon," yn said, trying to sound casual. "mind if I help?"
sunghoon looked surprised but nodded, handing her a ball to clean. they worked in silence for a few minutes, the only sound the soft thud of the balls hitting the ground.
finally yn broke the silence, “I’m sorry sunghoon, I just wanted to help aeri but as the time went by I started gaining feelings for you, I realized that you aren’t some annoying guy and that you’re a person with a big heart and I’m sorry for lying, I like you so much, but I under-” yn rants as she looks down at the ground not even realizing that sunghoon dropped his ball and made his way over to her until he grabbed her chin and tilted her head up before pressing his lips against hers.
as their lips met, yn felt a rush of emotions—relief, happiness, and a sense of completeness. she wrapped her arms around sunghoon, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. sunghoon responded eagerly, his hands gentle yet firm as they held her close.
When they finally pulled away, yn looked up at sunghoon, "I'm sorry," she whispered again.
he laughed at the girl and shook his head, “I forgive you.”
yn smiled, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. she knew that their road ahead wouldn't be easy, but she was willing to face it with sunghoon by her side.
and as they stood there, on the soccer field where their story began, yn knew that their journey together was just beginning. but this time, she was ready for whatever challenges came their way, as long as they faced them together.
267 notes · View notes
explicit-tae · 7 months
Text
Metamorphosis
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An alternate world in which you encounter someone in the middle of the night - a man seemingly hurt. Much to your luck, you were extremely wrong. (Teaser)
@juju-227592 @seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @darkuni63 @castlewolfsbane @babycandy111 @chimmy-licious @whipwhoops @chimmisbae
Word Count: 8.669
Warning: demon jungkook, unsolicited touching/kissing/groping, ass slapping, humiliation kink, degradation kink, public sex, dirty talking, slight coercion, fingering, oral (f receiving), spanking, unprotected sex, blood play/licking, biting, creampie, squirting,
Alternate Universe | Halloween Masterlist | PART 2
“W-What’s happening?” you want to hold your baby close to you once more, inhale the soft baby scent that even a half demon like he had. 
The six men surrounding you began to chant. You’re unsure what’s happening, but your heart sinks. There’s an uneasy feeling in your core.
“Jungkook…” you murmur, reaching out for him.
“It’s alright, my beautiful human.” Jungkook takes a step back with the baby, rocking him gently. “The bond has been completed. Now we can be together for eternity. In Hell.”
The room begins to shake, as if an earthquake was beginning to happen. The candles on the stone walls all fall, falling onto the ground and erupting around you.
“Jungkook!” you shout, your nails clenching the thin sheet surrounding you. What in the world is going on right now? 
“The pain will not last long, my beautiful human…” Jungkook trails off. His son begins to cry, feeling the distress coming from his mother - noted seeing as he was just as connected to you as he was to Jungkook. “...once it’s over, you can reunite with us in Hell. We will be waiting for you.”
You cross your arms in front of yourself firmly, shivering as the heavy rain fully engulfs you. You’re soaking wet and obviously pissed. You had gotten off of work late due to your boss being an asshole - you had stayed hours past your scheduled time out. Usually you would have not cared because extra hours meant extra money - but today was different. Every Friday you made it your mission to visit the cemetery and place flowers onto your mothers grave. Since you have gotten off of work late into the night, there was no time to stop for flowers (and it would be useless due to the rain).
Not only were you stuck in the rain, but you had to walk the entire way to the cemetery, then home. There were no buses running at this time and that meant you were in for an hour walk home after the already 30 minute walk to the cemetery. Let’s not forget that you saw your boss drive right past you without any eye contact.
The sky is dark and starless and there appeared to be little to no street lights on. The only light you do get comes from the moon high above. You've seen this before in a horror movie. A lone girl walking at night and bam, a killer chasing after her. Maybe you shouldn’t be thinking like this at this time, but you couldn’t help it. You were utterly hopeless with no one to call at this time - and even if you did, it’s pouring rain and your phone is tucked deep into your purse to not get it any more damage than it already was.
Your feet ached as you reached the cemetery. The rain was dying down, but you were already soaking wet and it was the least of your concerns now. It took a few more strolls until you reached the familiar headstone belonging to your mother. You sigh, dropping to your knees. You would regret it later while getting the mud stains off of your work clothes, but you were off the next two days and that was enough to not think about it further.
Visiting your mother was bittersweet. Sometimes you’d go just to pay your respects, other times you would speak as if she was there with you - talking about your day and what was new in your life. Now you were exhausted and your body ached, you remained silent and enjoyed the quiet company. 
You’re unsure how long you’ve sat there, but you noticed that the rain began to pick up once more. You knew by tomorrow, you would be sick and decided to call it a night. You’d probably even decide to visit once more when the rain cleared up the following day to bring the flowers you couldn’t bring today.
You got off of your knees, touching the gravestone lightly before making your way out of the cemetery. Your eyes remained forward as your feet strolled through the grassy field. You cursed at your luck - your clothing stuck to you and it was becoming uncomfortable to walk.Your shoes are covered in mud and grime and it’s nearly pitch black in said cemetery, the moon shining but so much.
Your feet halt in their tracks. You blink your eyes, zoning in on a figure not far away from you. The figure appeared to be hunched over, on their own knees. You clench your burse tighter, eyes blinking away the droplets of rain to try to get a better look. 
The moonlight shines off of the figure and it appears to glow - it’s a person, no doubt. You ponder if they’re there for the same reason you are - but not everyone would be caught in the rain paying respect to a deceased loved one, right?
You begin to step closer to the figure, unsure of what your body is doing. Your mind is screaming out alarm bells, that something wasn’t right and this could end up going completely wrong. 
The figure’s head lifts up, shining eyes glowing in the dark. A man, you note, just as drench in the rain as you were. Black hair sticks to his scalp and covers the majority of his forehead. Just as before, he appeared to be shining underneath the moonlight.
“Are you o-okay?” you stutter out, uneasy with the intense stare of the man. You can make out his features - chiseled jawline, sharp eyes and full lips. 
Your throat swallows a lump, body visibly stiffening upon noticing the man's eyes turning a shade of crimson. There was no possible way you were seeing things.
The man begins to lift from his knees and once onto his feet, your mind is screaming at you to run. The man is tall - and athletically built. He wore a suit of the sorts, completely black that it nearly disguises him in the dark scenery. 
Your heart is beating outside your chest, your mind coming back to reality when he begins to step closer to you. His feet snap a twig beneath them. You want to run - you can even feel the way your body jerks to do so, but you cannot.
What?
What the fuck?
Your heart beats even louder that even the pouring rain is no match for it. Your hands clench your purse tighter against you.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Why is it becoming harder to breathe?
Your throat tightens.
Your body begins to shudder, trembling. You’re unsure what in the world is going on with you right now. You’re trembling, feeling a rush of cold air go through you one moment and the next, you’re burning up. Your body temperature hightens, as if your blood is boiling at a rapid pace. Your clothes being wet and sticking to you already didn’t make anything better.
“You,”
Your eyes widen hearing the man's voice so clear - as if there wasn’t rain pouring. The wind kicked up, swirling around you, yet still, his voice was coherent. 
“are such a beautiful little human.”
Air filled your lungs once more and finally, you were able to breathe. Your mind swirls around on his words - a beautiful little human? What did that mean?
The man appears in front of you in a blink of an eye - how you didn’t fall back with a scream, you’re truly unsure. He’s tall, towering over you with his menacing gaze - eyes appearing even darker with a mysterious glint to them. Those eyes…they weren’t human, you note, they couldn’t be. Even if his overall appearance to be that of a human man - there was no man you met with such crimson eyes. 
The man offers you a smile - no, a smirk. It didn’t appear genuine like a smile someone would give you upon introducing themselves. This was a cunning one; devious.
You do not realize that you’ve dropped your purse until it hits your feet. Your body still feels hot, temperature rising every second. 
You feel the man's hand place itself against the skin of your cheek - they were calloused and even hotter than your own skin. His thumb traces the outline of your lips and you can hear he’s humming to himself.
“Your heart is beating so loud, beautiful. Are you afraid of me?” the man questions. “Do I frighten you? Or do I make you nervous?”
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” you manage to say - more stutter. Breathing was difficult enough, but speaking appeared to be a battle. 
The man chuckles. “A prayer?”
“I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers-”
You feel your throat tighten once more, this time by the man's hands. He forces you closer to him. “Shut up.” he hisses. “Your prayers do not affect me, beautiful. It makes me want to ruin you even more.”
Your body was feeling weird. Goosebumps prickled your skin - you can feel it beneath your clothing - and your stomach was beginning to bubble. You closed your eyes to not look into his eyes, but even then you could see them glaring at you.
“Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before-” your prayer is cut short when a pair of lips are against yours. You’re struggling against the lips, a muffled scream dying in your throat.
The man removes himself from you, but he holds you close. His hands wrap tightly beneath your chin. Your eyes squeeze shut, heart thumping rapidly.
“You can feel it, right, beautiful?” The man's words are sultry, coming out more as a moan than a regular statement. “I know what it’s doing to you. I know you can feel it…right here…”
You gasp, feeling a tense grip between your legs. Your eyes snap open, the crimson eyes .boring right into your own. You want to jolt away from his prying hands - to push this man, no, this monster away.
“I know, beautiful…” the man sing-songs. “...the arousal feels amazing. Doesn’t it feel like you’re sinning for me, Y/N?”
You froze. Your eyes couldn't even grow wider. This man knew your name.
This man, whoever he was, knew you. He knew you’d be here visiting your mothers grave - that or he followed you.
“Yes, beautiful, I know your name.” the man chuckles, his hand rubbing along your clothed head. “I’ve always known your name. I’ve known of your existence since the day you were born.”
This man wasn’t human - your heart told you. His eyes, his words; he was something otherworldly. 
“Dear Father, Thank You for protecting me. Thank You for the angels that you assign to watch over me. I can be at peace today knowing that my very life is in Your hands-”
You squirm feeling a sickly substance upon your cheek. The man is licking you now - up your jaw, to your chin and now your cheek. His fingers hold your face in place in a tight grip. He reaches your ear, flicking the lobe. “Praying won’t stop me from having you, beautiful.”
This monster was doing something to you and your body. You would never feel this way. He had you under a spell - your legs are clenching against his prying hand. You could feel a pool of slick sticking to your panties - and so does the man.
“I need your help in this battle. I cannot walk alone, Lord-”
“Ah, that prayer!” the man cackles. “You feel it running through you, beautiful. The lust. You’re moaning right underneath my hand, beautiful. I can smell the sweet smell of your pussy.”
The man's words are so vulgar that you’re unable to respond. His hands cup your clothed heat even tighter. The hand that once grips your chin now loosens so he could push you closer against him.
“You’re a monster.” you hiss - but it’s not a regular hiss. No, the man notes this tone. It’s a moan of disgust, but a moan nonetheless.
“I am.” the man chuckles. “A demon straight from Hell, beautiful.”
Your throat releases a scream when your hair is yanked backwards. Your eyes are towards the sky, the droplets of rain blinding your eyes. You continue to scream when you feel teeth against your neck, biting down.
You want to fight the man - this predator. This demon. Your prayers aren’t working and appear to be falling on deaf ears. 
The man shudders at the taste of your blood. So pure and not laced with any impurities. But he wasn’t here for your blood - no, this was just a part of the ritual. 
“My name is Jungkook.” the man purrs, licking his lips of your delicious blood. “Finally, you’re mine.”
You cough. Your hands are clenching onto Jungkook’s chest unwillingly. You’re trembling, eyes fluttering. 
“You’re afraid of me, beautiful?” Jungkook tsks. His tongue licks the wound of your neck, twirling it up to your chin and to your lips. He presses an open mouth kiss onto your lips and moans. 
“I’m not yours.” you wheeze out.
“Oh…” Jungkook could only laugh. “...but you are, beautiful.”
Jungkook’s hand squeezes your ass. “I can smell your arousal. You’re so wet for me, Y/N. You’re clenching and unclenching around nothing.”
You feel ashamed by how true Jungkook’s words were. You want to cry out - you didn’t belong to this demon! You were a part of your local Church and attended said church with your mothers for years. You prayed constantly, remained God as your main priority and prayed away whatever petty sins you committed. 
“You belonged to me the day your mother gave birth to you, my love.” Jungkook’s hand pulls at your clothes. Your shirt rips in seconds, revealing your bra beneath. “That was part of the deal, after all.”
Deal?
Your hands grasp Jungkook’s wrist when his hands tug along your pants. You didn’t match his strength, and like your shirt, your pants are ripped to pieces. 
“I won’t submit to you, demon.”
Jungkook wants to coo at your cuteness. No matter how many times you denied him, he wouldn’t listen. You were going to be his regardless of what you felt - he had waited decades to get what he was promised. You had no skill, will or strength to deny him anything - you were already aroused. Soon, you would be begging for him and he would give you what you’ll be begging for.
You are turned away from him and flipped. Your face meets the muddy ground. You squirm when you feel your hips being lifted by Jungkook’s arm. The position is filthy and you want to be removed from this humiliating state.
Jungkook marvels at the sight of you - face down, ass up. So cute and exactly how you were expected to be. One hand grips your ass, gently rubbing before he brings his hand back and slaps it roughly.
You scream once more at the impact, and again and again. Jungkook continued, crimson eyes darkening at the sight of you squirming beneath him. 
“P-Please stop!”
Jungkook hums. “Why?” He slaps your ass once more, the sound like a melody to his ears. His hands trail between your legs to rub gently. “You’re so wet for me.”
Your eyes squeeze shut, teeth biting your lips to repress a moan. You can feel yourself grow wetter at the second and that’s what frightens you. You didn’t want to fall into temptation due to the demons hold against you.
“Let’s see just how filthy you are, huh?”
“N-No!”
Jungkook fingers hooks between your panties. He pushes them aside and finds his mouth watering. “Such a whore you truly are, beautiful. So wet and clenching around nothing.”
You couldn’t help the groan that comes from your throat when he rubs a thumb against it. Your thighs quiver to close, but Jungkook only slaps your throbbing ass once more to punish you.
Jungkoom continues to rub along your clit, fingers sliding between your folds effortlessly. He can feel his pants tightening at just the sight of you.
“So wet.” Jungkook grunts. He smirks, fingers dangerously close to your opening. “I can just slide…”
“N-No!” you gasp, but even with your pleas, your legs widen for him. 
“...right in.” Jungkook enters two fingers inside of you. So warm and wet - and inviting. He pumps his fingers inside, marveling at how you take him so well. “You’re milking my fingers, beautiful. Good little whore you are, huh?”
You shake your head, eyes squeezing shut. 
Why?
Why were you moaning for this demon? Why was your body not cooperating with your brain? Why were you so wet and aroused with such sinful acts?
“J-Jungkook…please!”
Jungkook groans. “That’s right, beautiful. Just give in.” he murmurs, his fingers picking up the pace. “It’ll be over if you just submit to me.”
“N-No…” You don’t want to moan any more. You can feel a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Jungkook removes his fingers from inside of you. He doesn’t allow you to fall forward. He lifts you and presses you against him. “Taste yourself.” he hisses and before you can protest, he enters two of his fingers inside of your mouth.
Your tongue swirls against his fingers unwillingly, your juices hitting your tongue. 
“I wonder if you taste as divine as you smell, beautiful.” Jungkook whispers in your ear, popping his fingers from your mouth. “Give me a taste.”
“N-No…”
Jungkook hums. “No?”
You nod your head. 
“Then why are you leaning against me, beautiful? Why are your hips jerking for more pleasure?”
Jungkook flips you once more. He’s laid against the ground and has you hovering above him. You’re firmly in his grasp, unable to escape. His teeth - so sharp and canine like - bite at your underwear until they’re as ripped as your shirt and pants were. 
You gasp when Jungkook places you on his lips. You’re sitting directly on his tongue, palms back against his abdomen for balance as he licks between your folds. 
Jungkook grunts. “So sweet, beautiful.” he murmurs before going back to ravishing you. 
Your eyes are unable to remove themselves from the sight before you. Jungkook’s tongue - long with and split at the end, rapidly lick upon your clit and between the folds. You could no longer hide your moans, allowing the pleasure to run through you.
This was wrong.
This is a demon - no matter how attractive he may be, this was a demon.
You consider yourself a child of God, fully committed to your faith.
But Jungkook using his tongue to pleasure you felt far too amazing to not moan - too amazing to protest his advances any longer. And, as sad as it sounds, far too amazing for you to utter the word of God in hopes of stopping him.
Jungkook’s nails dig into the skin of your inner thigh. Your scent intoxicates his mind, your slick sliding against his tongue. Finally, you were his - and now you weren’t refusing him. Your moans are loud - even with the rain starting up once more. You were giving in to your rightful urges as his.
Jungkook’s eyes flicker to your face. Such a beautiful face contorted with pleasure. Mouth agape and moaning with pleasure, the droplets of rain trailing down your skin. It glistens beneath the moonlight.
“My beautiful human.” Jungkook growls. His tongue swipes at your clit once more. “Pleasure yourself against my tongue.”
Jungkook slaps your thigh in encouragement. He wants you completely submerged in pleasure that you would willingly participate in.
Your hips jerk forward and onto his tongue. A deep moan comes from your throat and you now find yourself thrusting onto Jungkook - a demon. Your eyes squeeze shut, wanting nothing more than to feel your release.
Jungkook’s hands roam your body, tongue laying flat while you use him. They trail up your thighs to your hips, wrapping around them to encourage you to go faster. He then slides them up your sides to grasp your breast from your bra. He squeezes them, pinching the sensitive bubs of your nipples.
“J-Jungkook, I-I can’t take it!”
Jungkook pinches your nipple once more. He clamps down onto them so hard that you scream out, lifting yourself from his tongue, juices releasing.
And Jungkook’s laps every drop, a groan rumbling deep within his soul.
Whatever soul Jungkook had deep within Hell that was.
You fall limp against his legs, legs quivering.
“My poor beautiful human.” Jungkook moves your body so that he is on top of you. “Came so hard that you can barely function.”
Jungkook leans down to swipe his tongue against your cheek once more, the reason you’re unsure of. 
“I’m going to make you cum over and over again.”
The rain falls even harder, but the majority of it is hidden beneath Jungkook’s body. He kicks off his pants along with his underwear.
You can’t see it, but you feel how large Jungkook is when he forces himself inside of you. You feel like you’re being stretched to the max. Your arms wrap around his neck tightly, breathing hitching.
“Beautiful human…so tight.” Jungkook growls. “Made just for me. My perfect little human.”
Jungkook doesn’t allow you the luxury to adjust to his size. He thrusts deeply inside of you, cracking his hips harshly. Your back hits against the muddy dirty roughly with each thrust. You were going to be filthy once this ended - if it ever did. This was a demon here with you? Did a demon’s stamina ever go out? It wasn’t like he was human.
“Jungkook, please!” you plead with him, but Jungkook doesn’t want to hear it. His teeth clamp down onto your skin, biting it harshly enough to release blood. “I-I can’t handle-”
“You can!” Jungkook hisses. He leans back to admire your disheveled appearance. You were covered in mud, blood and soaking wet. Your hair is sticking to you and your eyes are struggling to stay open. But to him - you were perfect. “Finally mine.”
There’s a bulge in your stomach, reminding you just who you were fucking. Jungkook is a demon.
A demon.
You were going to Hell surely.
There’s blood trailing down your thigh, but still Jungkook refuses to halt his abusive thrusts.
“Your soul, your mind, your heart and your body belong to me.” Jungkook growls, appearing utterly animalistic. “All mine, Y/N. My beautiful human. And all it took was a deal from your father.”
Your father?
You didn’t have a father - physically. You were raised with two mothers; when you grew up you never had a reason to look for who your biological father was. You asked your mothers, sure, but it was stated he was someone who provided them sperm and nothing more.
“He got what he wanted and in return…”
Jungkook flips you onto your knees. He wraps an arm around your neck and enters you once more. He continues the brutal pace, skin slapping and echoing off of the trees. You’re not sure if you were going to survive this. Your insides hurt - even if it came with brief pleasure. Your body was aching just as bad and Jungkook showed no chance of stopping.
“...in return…I got you, beautiful human of mine…” Jungkook grunts. “...you’ll be coming back home with me to Hell.”
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It was your alarm that had woken you up that following morning. You jerked upward, eyes scanning the room. Your room.
You were in your room.
You inhaled deeply and exhaled just the same. Your ears are ringing and your fluttering eyes are attempting to adjust to the sunlight coming from your bedroom window.
Your aching legs manage to move. You swing them around your bed and lift yourself. You managed to make it to your mirror and you gasped.
You weren’t dirty nor covered in mud like you expected. That couldn’t have been a dream - everything felt far too realistic to be one. You were intimate with a demon - he had told you that you were his because of a father you never met.
Your eyes scan the scars and bruises littering your body. There’s hand marks upon your throbbing skin, one around your neck and two on both sides of your waist. You can see the bite marks that drew blood on your neck and another between your thighs.
You want to cry, but felt that even that would be hypocritical. You allowed a demon into your body - to have something precious that should have belonged to your human partner. You have learned from an early age that demons were tricksters and you had fallen into their trap.
You shower until the hot water runs cold - and even then you did not want to remove yourself. You washed your skin countless times in hopes to rid yourself of the sick feeling, but it never left. You could feel his hands on your body now as if he was here - his teeth and his tongue grazing along onto your skin.
Your mind betrayed you as did your body. There’s flashes replaying the long night Jungkook had bestroved for you. How he had taken you so roughly against the cemetery ground, both of you covered in blood. How he had flipped you and taken you against a tree, allowed you on top of him - almost every inch of the area you had been fucked on.
You clench your legs together and clench your fists. You dried your body, trying to rid your thoughts of the sinful encounter - but they wouldn’t leave. You were beginning to feel the uncomfortable throb between your legs once more.
Pray.
You had to pray. 
You dressed in fresh clothing and went towards your vanity. Your rosary would be there. You grasp it in your hands, ready to send a prayer when the rosary begins to burn in your hands. You screamed, dropping it to the floor and watching with wide eyes as it began to burn through the hardwood floor. 
“No…”
You trembled, not taking your sight off of the burning rosary.
You were too far gone - you were damned to Hell.
The tears finally came. You have dropped to your knees now, praying for forgiveness for the sins you committed. Your God would understand - he had to. You didn’t want to sleep with the demon that was Jungkook. You had no choice. He had you underneath a demonic spell that had you moaning his name, crying tears of lust and pleasure…
Had you been screaming his name, claiming how much you wanted Jungkook…
You wrapped your arms around him and begged for more - each and every time…
The feeling was returning. The familiar arousal between your legs and the warm feeling against your skin. You lay upon the cool hardwood floor, wanting nothing more than for your temperature to subside.
Why you?
Why were you being cursed by Jungkook?
What was the supposed deal Jungkook made with your biological father? And even so, you didn’t even know the man. Was he even still alive?
“Beautiful human.”
Your body jerks at the sound of Jungkook - his sultry voice.
Jungkook leans against the nearest wall of your bedroom. He’s sporting all black once more, this time a fitted shirt and slacks. His eyes are the familiar shade of crimson and they watch you closely. 
“Look at you. In a pool of your own arousal once more.” Jungkook shakes his head, a smirk placed on such beautiful lips…
You shake your head. This wasn’t your mind thinking - it had to be the demonic spell.
“I have not put you under any spell.”
Can he read your mind?
“I can read your mind, beautiful.” Jungkook states. “You can learn to read mine. Once we venture to Hell.”
You aren’t going to Hell. You were going to ask God for his forgiveness - to be allowed to be underneath his guidance once more. 
“God…” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “...will never take you. He never had you to begin with, beautiful. Why do you think it was so easy for me to get my hands on you?”
The familiar tightening in your throat, the heat radiating your skin and the goosebumps were returning. Your clit throbbed uncomfortably as if your body knew Jungkook was near. 
“Your body will always submit to me, beautiful. As it belongs to me.”
No.
No.
No!
“I know you feel the arousal once more. How wet you are. You’re such a needy little thing, huh?” Jungkook cackles loudly. “Touch yourself, beautiful. See how wet you are.”
No.
You weren’t going to.
If so, why were your hands going beneath your shorts to touch yourself?
“It’s okay, beautiful. Touch yourself and watch me.”
You want to deny him the satisfaction of watching you, but you’re already succumbing to his demonic spell. You were positive that he’s done something to your mentality that you could never deny him.
“I-I can’t.” you snatch your hands from your shorts, feeling flush with embarrassment.
“That just means you want me to, huh?” Jungkook is kneeling down beside you in the blink of an eye. You want to ask how he does it, but you’re afraid of the answer. You weren’t ready to go down a rabbit hole of demonic entities and powers.
“No…?”
“Is that a question, beautiful?”
Jungkook’s already tugging your pants down and taping your thighs aside. He’s amused by how easily you give into him.
“Go ahead and tell me no.” Jungkook plays with the lace of your underwear. Your clit is visible to him - wet and inviting as always. “Then I'll leave.”
“You’ll leave?”
Don’t sound disappointed, you think. You wanted this demonic entity gone - right?
“Of course. Tell me to leave, Y/N. And I’ll go.”
Jungkook hooks a finger inside your laced panties with a shake of his head. So divine and so sweet - even after he completely ruined you not long ago.
Tell him to go.
Tell him to leave you alone and to never return.
Be stern, you think. Resist him and the impure thoughts of this demon.
But you don’t. Those words never leave your lips. 
“Already so wet, my beautiful human.” Jungkook enters a finger inside of you for a second. He then removes it and enters it inside his mouth. “And taste so heavenly.” he cackles. “Heavenly for someone going to Hell.”
You don’t respond to Jungkook’s words. He’s already entering his fingers back inside of you. He pumps slowly at first to get you comfortable - and then he’s rapid. The sounds of his moving fingers echo off the walls of your bedroom - mixed with your moans of pleasure. It sends shockwaves throughout your body.
It’s so sinful, you think. How when you were a child with your mothers going to church, even if the three of you got awkward stares - how you read the bible alongside them. You prayed every night before bed, before every meal - you needed to know where exactly you went wrong.
“Still blaming yourself, sweetheart?” Jungkook’s so beautiful, you think. You recall many times hearing that demons were often beautiful to trick you into sinning with them. “I told you, you were destined to me long before you were even born.”
You feel Jungkook’s fingers hitting your g-spot, curling inside of you with each thrust. It’s as if he was going deeper and deeper each time. You don’t want to look at the beautiful man, but it’s as if he compels you to. His crimson eyes - so captivating and inhumane. You were told that you were under no spell, but that had to be a lie - demons always lie.
“I never tell no lies, my beautiful human.” Jungkook comes closer to you, licking his lips. “What you feel right now is not due to any spell, but your own body submitting to me.”
Your soft moans only fuel Jungkook on further. His tongue licks along the skin of your collarbone. Your thighs tremble with pleasure when you feel his teeth once more - he’s biting you. It doesn’t hurt, you note, not like it did when he bit you at the cemetery. 
You’re breathing quicken and your eyes snaps shut; you were going to cum. You cannot remember when you ever felt this much pleasure in such a short amount of time until now, and all you can truly think about was succumbing deeper and deeper into the pleasure.
“I know you feel it coming.” Jungkook’s breath tickles your neck as he speaks. “Say my name, beautiful human. Who is the demon who’s going to make you cum?”
“J-Jungkook…!” you shout, feeling the wave of pleasure shoot out of you. It engulfs your entire body, shuddering up the back of your spine and causing goosebumps to litter your skin.
It was when you opened your eyes did you think you were going crazy - completely insane. Jungkook was gone, seemingly never in front of you. Your fingers were inside of you instead of his own, completely soaked in your slick.
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“How did you find me? I know your…mothers. They wouldn’t give up that information.”
It took a week to track down your biological father - a week of torment each night with Jungkook. You cried after you realized that you masturbated, not because you thought it was wrong - you’ve done so before. But because you weren’t sure what was real and what was fake anymore. No prayer stopped Jungkook from returning to you each night - and you never told him yourself to stop; your body submitting to him each time like he’s stated.
You visited your mother on the third day and even she saw the bags beneath your eyes. She questions your appearance, but all you could think about was the very man before you - it took hours to convince her, but she eventually caved. 
“Well…” your father murmurs, sighing after a moment of silence. “...what do you want? Money?”
Your eyes roam over the large estate he lived in. Money would’ve been nice if there wasn’t a literal demon fucking you every night - but even you wouldn’t think to ask him for money. He was nothing but a donor for your mother’s to have a child, never truly intending to be in your life. 
“What deal did you make with the demon?” you ask bluntly.
Your father’s eyes widen slightly at your choice of words. He turns to close the doors to the office you sat in before turning back to you. 
“What…are you talking about?” he coughs, turning back to you. 
“What deal did you make with the demon that’s tormenting me?” you don’t mean for your tone to come out harsh, but it does. You were upset - rightfully so. “What are you? A musician? You promised that son of a bitch your first born child for a record deal-”
“I’m not a musician.” he raises his hands in an attempt to calm you. “H-How did you find me-”
“Are you not listening?!” you take a deep breath, again, not wanting to appear too angered. “There’s a demon tormenting me every night. He said that my…father,” you didn’t want to call him that. He had no intentions of ever being in your life, he was nothing but a donor. But it didn’t matter to Jungkook. “made a deal with him. What the fuck was the deal you made with the demon? Why am I the one being tormented when I know you have other children-”
“You are my first born daughter.” the man caves. His voice comes out in a whisper and barely audible. “I have a son older than you before I made the deal.” his voice is cracking - was he guilty? After all these years did he feel bad for whatever he’s done? “I…I needed money to support my family. The demon said if I had a daughter that I…” the man blinks away from you. “...my wife fell pregnant with another son after we made the deal. That demon was upset. I’ll never forget those eyes. He threatened to kill my wife and kids if I didn’t give him a daughter. That was the plan. I never knew demons were specific with gender.”
Your blood runs cold as his words ring in your mind.
“I…what’s your name?”
You’re taken aback by his sudden interest. “Y/N.” you murmur.
“I thought the demon…I don’t know what I thought.” he sighs. “I kept tabs on you for years now and you remained alive. The demon didn’t take you when you were born like I initially thought he would. Each year passed and I began to think that maybe…he forgot? He didn’t want you anymore.”
You want to laugh. To think your life was given away before you were ever conceived. Your eyes roam the large office space and linger on a picture - a family one. The man before you with a woman, his wife, and two boys - his sons. They appeared happy as a small family of four. 
You sniffle, unsure truly if you could be upset with him. He was only doing what he thought was right at the time, trying to provide for his family. You ponder what would happen if he did have a daughter instead of a second son - would Jungkook have been tormenting her instead of you? 
You shake your head. 
“I have to go.” you exhale. “I-”
“I am…so sorry.”
You glance at the man’s way and nod your head. 
“So am I.” you murmur to him, your legs already walking towards the door of his office.
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Your body is sweating, beads of sweat pooling down your skin. Your shirt sticks to you thickly and you’re sure that this is how you were going to die - or pass out. Whichever came first.
Your eyes snap and you lean your head back, cupping your forehead. You sat at your desk, your work forgotten about.
It’s been two months now since you've been tormented by Jungkook - though he had been missing for the last week. You were grateful - in a way - that he has not returned. Your body needed the rest.
Your throat closes up and your eyes snap open. You never ran as fast as you did now, pushing past your co-workers to make your way into the restroom. You slam the stall door open and hurl right into the toilet. You felt physically ill, vomiting for the next ten minutes.
You were sent home once a co-worker found you like that, crying and vomiting - you weren’t even sure you had enough in your stomach to continue, but your body kept on.
It was the following day - you were given a few days off to recover - when you noticed that something was terribly wrong with you. You visited your mother that night for dinner - she claimed that you looked both hungry and ill. She was just going to start dinner - steak - and that you needed to relax while she finished up.
You thought the smell of raw meat would disgust you, but it didn't. While your mother washed dishes in the sink, humming to herself, you opened the fridge to find yourself something to drink. You were parched and now growing hotter by the second. You smelt it first - the raw steak your mother had placed in the fridge for another day. She hadn’t seasoned it yet like she usually did and it caught your eyes almost instantly. Your eyes glanced before the fridge door to your mother, scrubbing along the dishes.
You grasp the bowl the steak was placed in and sniff it, your stomach rumbling. Before you can process what you’re doing, you sink your teeth into the raw meat, the blood oozing from the corner of your lips. It tasted delicious - finally something you could smell or taste without vomiting it up moments after.
Your mind suddenly clicks on what in the world you’re doing. You slam the fridge door shut and hurl the bitten steak in the trash. You feel ill - not because you just ate raw meat, but because you liked it.
“You ate raw meat?” your doctor asks, chuckling awkwardly. “That cannot be good.”
“That’s why I’m here.” you murmur, playing with your fingers to not look your doctor in the eye. “There must be something wrong with me. I-I sweat constantly. I always feel sick. I can’t sleep most nights-”
“That’s what we were looking into.” your doctor nods, offering you a kind smile. “We ran some tests and a part of the problem can be answered. You’re pregnant.”
Pregnant.
Pregnant?
You shake your head slowly, eyes now widening at the doctor. “I can’t be…” you trail off. 
The only person - were demons even people? Your mind races at the word pregnant. You were only sexually active with Jungkook - an act you weren’t sure if you had complete control over. 
Demons had to be infertile - you were a human woman. There was no way you could be pregnant by a demon.
“We took multiple tests, Y/N. Would you like for me to perform a sonogram?”
You’re starting to feel ill again. 
“Y-Yea.” you whisper. 
The gel placed upon your stomach is cold. You don’t want to look upon the screen, but you’re drawn to it. 
Your doctor hums. “That’s weird.” he murmurs. “The baby appears large.”
You’re unsure how to read the screen, but you try your hardest. 
“But you’re rather small. You are still in the beginning stages of your pregnancy.” your doctor continues.
You pull your eyes away from the screen.
You shake your head. 
“I can’t have this baby.”
Your doctor glances at you, but he doesn’t say anything but nod. 
“Is there a way I can set up an appointment?” you continue. “I-I can’t keep this baby.”
Your doctor nods again. “We can set one up as soon as we have available. Let me speak-”
Your doctor coughs, and then begins to clench his chest. You lean forward as he begins to cough blood. He proceeds to fall to the ground, sonogram equipment crashing alongside him. 
You swing your legs around to get up from the hospital bed. You swing the door open and scream out. “I-I think he’s having a heart attack in here!”
The room swarms with nurses, all pushing you aside. You couldn’t take your eyes off of your doctor as he’s being ushered out. Even as you make your way back home, did you feel as though you were at fault.
You swing the door to your home open and walk in. You close it behind you and wake your way towards your bedroom.
“Y/N.”
You come face to face with Jungkook.
“Welcome home, my beautiful human.” Jungkook offers you a smile, small dimples on display. “I’ll allow this realm to be your home for now.”
You shake your head. 
Jungkook takes a few steps closer to you. “You’re glowing.” he hums.
“You did this to me.” you hiss his way. “You put this…thing in me-”
“Thing?” Jungkook cackles, red eyes glaring at you. “You mean our child?”
“This isn’t a child.”
“But it is, my beautiful human. Made with our flesh and blood. A product of our love.” Jungkook is in front of you in a matter of seconds. He turns you around so you are facing the floor-length mirror in your room. He places a hand upon your stomach. “Such a powerful being to rival the strongest and most powerful demons of the underworld. I can feel it.”
You feel your throat tighten.
“You cannot feel such power yet. But as he grows throughout the months, so will his powers. They’ll be similar to my own.”
He?
“Yes. He. It’s a boy - I can feel him. He can also feel your disappointment, my beautiful human. You don’t want our child to feel hatred while he’s not yet been born.”
You shake your head. You didn’t want a child - not with a demon. You had your life planned the best you could. Find a man that you loved, get married - have children when the time was right. 
This time was not right.
“It is right.” Jungkook lifts your shirt to reveal your stomach. You feel disgusted that it begins to move. You’ve never seen anything like it. Women in early pregnancy didn’t look like you now. It was as if the child inside of you was attempting to claw its way out.
“Our childs power has shown itself today. He had his first kill.” Jungkook appears proud, crimson eyes shining. “It was self-defense. You tried to get rid of him, Y/N. He knows you did.”
Your heart sinks. Your doctor having a form of a heart attack, bleeding out in front of you. That was you - the child you were pregnant with. 
You blink rapidly to not cry, even if you desperately wanted to.
“Everything would be fine if you would stop fighting your destiny. You were destined to be mine - to submit to me. You are now having our child.”
Jungkook removes his hands from your stomach and lifts it in the air. From his reflection, you witness a small box appear in his hand.
“How do you feel, Y/N?” Jungkook asks, opening the box. “Do you feel nauseous? Headache? Hot?”
You shake your head, watching Jungkook remove a ring from the box. “I know,” he says. “you haven’t felt that way since you walked inside the room. It’s because our child feels welcomed with me around him. He isn’t on alert. He feels safe.”
Jungkook turns you around, holding up the ring. It’s large, a dark stone at the center surrounded by smaller diamonds. He grabs your hand in his own, sliding the ring onto your finger. “You humans enjoy jewelry as an act of commitment.” he states. “Now here it is. Consider us…married.” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. 
Jungkook offers a smile, unbeknownst to you, a cunning one. Humans were always easy to manipulate.
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Your chest is ready to explode into small pieces. Your chest is tingling, you unwillingly inhale hoping that your lungs would be filled with air - the perfect amount of oxygen needed. Instead, it fills with water. Your head begins to feel numb and light, almost as if it’s going to crack open.
You feel dizzy, as if it dawned onto you just now that you were going to die here. Your arms flapped around for anything, but the weight of the water just brings you down deeper and deeper.
You managed to open your eyes, but the water isn’t clear. It’s hard to make out your surroundings and you cannot fathom what you’ve done to get here. 
You clenched your eyes shut in hopes the ringing in your head would go away, but it didn’t. Instead, it got louder and louder.
There’s no air left in your lungs, nothing keeping you alive. 
Your flaring hands cup your stomach - the bump that grew larger throughout the months. Your baby. Your heart sinks at the thought that not only you would be dying right now, but so would your son - even if a part of him was Jungkook, a demon, he was still a part of you.
Your chest burned while the rest of your body ached. You could no longer fight your kicking legs. You feel yourself sink deeper and deeper into the abyss, your surroundings only growing darker and darker.
Your mind, what little left you had of it, screamed for Jungkook to save you - that he was truly your only hope left. Not just for you, but for the child you both shared.
Your screams echo and bounce off of your ears. Your body begins to frail once more, feeling yourself being restrained. Your eyes finally focus and you realize that you are not deep in the abyss anymore.
Cries are heard throughout the room and finally, you stop fighting against the hands restraining you.
“I-Is that…”
You aren’t in a room. You aren’t sure where in the world you are. The walls are stone and high. There’s candles that are lined around your cot and on the walls. Surrounding you are several men, all unfamiliar except one. Jungkook. He’s holding something in his arms, wrapped in a clothed blanket. 
“Our son.” Jungkook rocks the wailing baby until he’s quiet. 
“Can I…hold him?”
The six men surrounding you all watch as Jungkook places the baby into your arms. Your eyes are fixed on him. He doesn’t appear to be that of a newborn - yet, he was half demon, so you wouldn’t hold anything against him. He’s still so small in your arms and against your chest and warm to the touch. There’s a mop of dark hard atop of his head.
Your son's eyes are open - and they are the same as Jungkook’s. Crimson, shining right up at you.
Your finger touches his skin, feeling your heart feel warm at just the sight of him.
Jungkook hums, feeling himself smile. He had you now - fully. Now more than ever would have if it was not for the child he’d given you; you had called for him while in the abyss to save the both of you. Even if there was never any direct harm to you physically, mentally you were calling for him. Him to protect you and his son.
“It’s time.” one of the men said. Jungkook takes the baby back into his arms, shushing when the small infant begins to sob at your lack of contact.
“W-What’s happening?” you want to hold your baby close to you once more, inhale the soft baby scent that even a half demon like he had. 
The six men surrounding you began to chant. You’re unsure what’s happening, but your heart sinks. There’s an uneasy feeling in your core.
“Jungkook…” you murmur, reaching out for him.
“It’s alright, my beautiful human.” Jungkook takes a step back with the baby, rocking him gently. “The bond has been completed. Now we can be together for eternity. In Hell.”
The room begins to shake, as if an earthquake was beginning to happen. The candles on the stone walls all fall, falling onto the ground and erupting around you.
“Jungkook!” you shout, your nails clenching the thin sheet surrounding you. What in the world is going on right now? 
“The pain will not last long, my beautiful wife…” Jungkook trails off. His son begins to cry, feeling the distress coming from his mother - noted seeing as he was just as connected to you as he was to Jungkook. “...once it’s over, you can reunite with us in the Underworld. We will be waiting for you.”
The chants only get louder and the room hotter. When you managed to take your eyes away from Jungkook, you looked towards the shaking ground. It erupts, pits of flames crashing through the ground. You scream, unsure of what was going on.
Jungkook’s words ring in your mind - you would be reunited with them in the Underworld.
Your blood runs cold, feeling your arms being pulled upon from an unknown force deep within the pits. 
Your eyes lock with Jungkook for a last time, crimson eyes staring right into your own. You’re unsure how to read him - he was a demon and could demons ever truly be trusted? They were cunning and selfish; only truly anything for personal gain.
‘I’ll be right down there when you arrive, Y/N. We both will.’ 
You’re shocked for a moment, hearing Jungkook’s voice directly into your thoughts. Now your body is being dragged down into the Earth, swallowing you fully and yet, all you could hear are Jungkook’s words in your head.
‘You have my word, my beautiful wife.’
PART 2 | Divine Intervention (Taehyung Version)
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through-a-blackhole · 16 days
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to natsu, nalu is basically canon
i've had this thought for a while now but
i think natsu dragneel already has it in his mind that he and lucy are.... Together together. Girlfriend Boyfriend. Husband Wife. Married With Kids.
one day lucy gathers enough guts to confess to natsu and he just goes "lucy i dont get it why are you confessing are we not already together but yes i love you too you weirdo"
and lucy is like ... "what did you just say"
and we finally figure out that natsu basically thought they were dating this whole time. and lucy's losing her mind and going "why didnt you SAY anything???" and natsu, dumb dork that he is, just goes "you have to say it???"
AND I GET IT!!! like,,, she's his number one priority every time, sleeps at her house, spends most of his time with her, puts his head in his lap when he's motion sick, saves/catches her multiple times, basically has seen her naked (and only ever showed physical attraction to her and no one else), considers her his best friend and with happy they make this little quaint family, and he doesn't understand why she thought they weren't together. she rewrote his book ffs and saved his life.
HE UPROOTED A WHOLE RAINBOW TREE AND SAILED IT DOWN A RIVER FOR HER. even natsu dragneel, "i love my nakama" incarnate, wouldn't do that for anyone else. so of course he thinks they're together. and lucy just thinks they're tethering on the edge of romance and friendship.
in every universe there was, natsu and lucy were always together. edo-natsu and edo-lucy who have a kid now, and even in "fairy nail" nakku and lusha.
they're just meant to be Together in every way sense and form. natsu knows that!!!
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joeys-babe · 19 days
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Joey B Blurbs: Angel Eyes
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Summary: You attempt to prank Joe, but his angel-like eyes and all-convincing pout have your prank backfiring.
Warnings: Fluff, pranks!
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagine Universe: Into the Mystic
A/N: Part 5 of blurb night!
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No particular date for this blurb!
“Dinner time!” - you
Grinning as I paused the music playing over my speaker, I couldn't help but feel nothing but happiness watching my three boys run into the kitchen from the living room.
“Looks great, baby.” - Joe smiled
“Thanks, but I'm sure it won't look too good when you're cleaning it off plates later.” - you
“I don't care, that's our rule. If someone fixes it, the other cleans it. If we both cook, we both clean.” - Joe
I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a big kiss.
“Crap, I forgot drinks.” - you mumble, sighing
“You sit down, I’ll get ‘em.” - Joe
Before doing as Joe said, I got the twins into their booster seats and then sat down myself.
Joe walked back into the dining room just a moment later, his big hands allowing him to hold all four cups.
“Thanks.” - you
“Of course.” - Joe
Joe then put food onto all our plates, taking one of my hands in his when we started eating.
“Love you.” - Joe
“Love you too.” - you
——
After dinner, it was bath time for Tyson and Miles.
“We seriously need to order wet suits.” - Joe
“Why?” - you laughed
“They splash!” - Joe
“Oh, suck it up. Let's go.” - you
The tub was filled moments later, and Tyson and Miles climbed in. They were still young enough to bathe together - not like they would agree to do it separately anyway.
“Look!” - Tyson
Ty held up one of the plastic bath toys in Joe’s face, showing off his little tiger toy.
“That’s cool buddy. It’s like the mascot for the Bengals.” - Joe
“Yup!” - Tyson
Joe grabbed their mini basketball hoop out of the bath toy drawer and suction-cupped it to the shower wall.
“Can you make a basket, bubs?” - you
I handed Miles a mini-basketball, and he nodded and launched the ball across the shower.
Somehow making it in, Joe looked at me shocked.
“Gah-lee! Draft him to the league.” - Joe
“He’s got a cannon of an arm like his daddy does.” - you winked
Joe smiled and playfully rolled his eyes, handing Tyson a ball in the process.
“Let's start actually washing.” - you laughed
——
After getting the twins completely washed off and dried Joe and I headed to their room to get them dressed and ready for bed.
They wore matching pajamas, of course.
Miles and Tyson climbed into Tyson’s bed like they did every night for Joe to tell them a story. I laid down next to them and buckled up for the story Joe was about to tell.
“What kind of story do you guys want to hear tonight?” - Joe
“Lo- ve.” - Tyson
“A love story?” - you
Tyson nodded, so Joe continued.
“Okay. I’ll tell you my favorite one.” - Joe
He grinned, and not only did I know his devious smile was directed towards me, but I knew it meant he was up to something.
“One day, this boy, we’ll name him Joe, went to school.” - Joe
“That's your name!” - Miles
I immediately knew where this was headed, and I felt butterflies swarm my stomach.
“Yup. It was the first day of his senior year of high school. Not thinking much, he went to his first-period class. His teacher always made a boy and a girl sit together, and Joe thought he’d hate it, but it ended up being the best thing to ever happen to him.” - Joe
Both of the boys gasped, making Joe chuckle before he continued.
“Joe found his seat and saw that a girl he'd never seen before was sitting there. He thought she was beautiful, but Joe was focusing on football. Joe would soon find out that her name was y/n.” - Joe
“Like Mommy!” - Miles
“Yup, like Mommy. Joe and y/n talked the entire class, and they did that every day. They quickly realized that they had a lot in common and became best friends. Fast forward a bit, y/n wins homecoming queen, and Joe escorts her on the field. There, y/n called Joe her best friend… and told him that he was cute.” - Joe
There was another gasp from the twins, and I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face.
“Woah!” - Tyson
“I know, right? Not too long before that, Joe realized that he had a crush on her, but he just didn't know how to drop hints. After a little brainstorming, Joe asked y/n to the dance at school, but she already had a date.” - Joe
“Oh no!” - Tyson
“That's what Joe thought too, but the dance ended up being the best day of Joe’s life. The guy y/n went to the dance with ditched her, and Joe went alone. Y/n found Joe walking around in the hallways by himself, and she asked if he wanted to go see which teachers left their classroom doors open. Joe said yes, and y/n held his hand as they walked through the hallways. The chemistry door was open, which was the class they met in. They sat down at their table, and Joe realized it would be the perfect time to tell her how he felt. Joe told y/n he liked her, and y/n liked Joe too.” - Joe
Another gasp from Miles and Tyson, and I giggled at the look on their faces as Joe told the story of him and I getting together.
“Joe then asked y/n to be his girlfriend, and she said yes. Guess what happened next.” - Joe
“What?” - Miles
“They kissed.” - Joe
“Ew!!” - Miles
“Aww!” - Tyson
I laughed at their differing opinions, which were stated at the same time, and Joe did too, before giving me a wink.
“They live happily ever after?” - Tyson
“Yup. They got married and are still together to this day. They love each other very much. They're parents too, to twin boys.” - Joe
“Like me and Ty?” - Miles
“Mhm, and y/n is pregnant with a baby girl.” - Joe
“Like Mommy!” - Tyson
“Wait… is it about you and Mommy?” - Miles
Joe looked at me with a tiny smile on his face, the bling in his eyes making my heart flutter.
“Yes. That's how we met. The best day of my life.” - Joe grinned
——
“That was super sweet, Joey.” - you
“The story?” - Joe smiled
We had just walked into our bedroom from putting the twins to sleep, and my mind was stuck on Joe retelling the story of how we met.
“Yeah. I'm glad I got it right the first time.” - you
“Get what right?” - Joe
“Picking a boyfriend. We really said one and done.” - you laughed
“For real, but I’m glad too. Thank god for boy-girl seating chart teachers.” - Joe
Joe plopped onto the bed onto his stomach after pulling his shirt off, asking without words for me to lay down and scratch his back.
I walked over and leaned down, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades before waking over to the bathroom.
In our usual routine, Joe and I would shower together. We took the time to share some non-sexual intimacy while spending our uncommon alone time exclusively together.
But today, Joe’s getting pranked.
Walking into the bathroom, I shut the door and locked it behind me.
I rushed to set my phone up to start videoing, then turned the shower on.
Almost instantaneously, Joe was knocking on the bathroom door.
Looking at the camera and laughing, I let him knock a couple of times before opening the door.
“Baby? Are you showering without me?” - Joe
He had his bottom lip stuck out in a pout, giving me his classic pleading angel eyes. Joe knew that combo got him anything.
“I just felt like having some alone time.” - you
Joe’s mouth fell open as he stared at me, honestly looking offended.
“What?” - Joe
“I wanted some alone time.” - you chuckle
“You seriously don't want me to shower with you?” - Joe
I stepped up on my tiptoes and pecked Joe’s lips, patting his chest when I pulled away.
“Maybe next time, babe.” - you
Making sure I was off-camera, I started undressing and the look on Joe’s face made me feel sad.
Once I was fully undressed, I hopped in the glass shower and shut the door behind me.
I looked over at Joe only to find him staring right at me with the same pout on his face.
“Aww, c’mere. I was just joking. You can shower with me, baby.” - you
“That's what I thought.” - Joe mumbled
When Joe undressed and hopped into the shower, I pulled him into my arms and pressed kisses all over his neck and face.
“You were videoing that entire thing weren't you?” - Joe
“Of course.” - you grinned
“You’re going to be the death of me.” - Joe
“Good way to go out though, right?” - you
“The best.” - Joe smiled
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Authors note: Next fic at 9:25!!!
Requests for this fic;
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mystcldydrms · 8 months
Text
SOMETHING BETWEEN US - SIRIUS BLACK
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prompt: "there is something between us."
pairing: young!sirius black x fem!reader
word count: 1.6k
warnings: slight angst & fluff, cursing
notes: thank you for requesting. it took me a while to find a good start to the fic but I got there in the end.
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He was your best friend. He was your soulmate. Sirius knew how you felt. You knew how he felt. However, you were scared. You didn’t want to lose him. He was one of the most important people in your life. You knew that trying to push your feelings away was the safest option, as of now, but how long would you be able to keep them locked up?
You tried to tell yourself that you and Sirius would be awful together. But every time a thought like this crossed your mind, you knew it was a lie. He would treat you like a princess. You could laugh together; he would still make fun of you, and you would do the same to him. Whenever the two of you were together, it felt natural. It felt like the universe knew that you were meant for one another, but the more you thought about it, the more anxious you got.
Another precaution you took was to spend as little time with Sirius as possible. It was easier said than done, seeing as though both of you were Gryffindors and you had mutual friends. However, for the last couple of days, you had been quite successful, only catching a quick glimpse of him whenever you entered or exited the Great Hall.
Today you weren’t as lucky as the other times.
You were one of the last students to pack up your things after another lesson on Transfiguration when you turned around and bumped into another person. You instantly knew who it was without even looking at him. Just his smell made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.
“Sirius, hey.”, you said to him as if it was the first time you’d seen one another all day. Of course, you had seen him walk into the classroom. You had stolen glances at him every few minutes during Transfiguration, and you knew he did the same thing, yet whenever he looked your way, you quickly averted your gaze and looked at Professor McGonagall again.
It felt like a lifetime ago that you had a proper conversation with your best friend, and you had to be honest with yourself, you missed him. You missed everything about him. His smile, his laugh, his touch. But there was still that pinch of anxiety in the back of your mind.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”, Sirius stated matter-of-factly.
A sad sigh escaped your lips as you shook your head, pushing another book inside your bag before you heaved it onto your shoulder. For the first time, in what felt like forever, you looked up into Sirius’ eyes, your heart breaking into small pieces once you noticed the worried expression on his face.
You absentmindedly bit your lower lip as you nervously started to play with your fingers. You knew you couldn’t lie to him. You have known each other ever since your first train ride on the Hogwarts Express. The two of you sat opposite each other. You were a rather shy little girl who wasn’t great at making new friends, however, Sirius was different. He started to talk to you as soon as your bottom hit the seat. He wanted to know everything about you, and although you had only given him one- or two-word answers, he kept talking until you had arrived at Hogwarts.
“y/n”, Sirius whispered your name, snapping you out of your daydream as you felt his hand grab one of yours, trying to make you stop fumbling.
“I don’t know what to say. And I really have to go.”, you announced quietly, pulling your hand away from his before you marched past him, your eyes getting a bit glassy.
“You’re not running away from me.”, you heard him say as he grabbed your arm, preventing you from exiting the classroom and getting as far away from him as possible.
“I really have to get to my next class.” “We don’t have another class until this afternoon, and you know this, so stop running away.”
You had never seen or heard Sirius be this serious before. The only time he had been this way was when he had told you all about his family and the way they had treated him once they found out he didn’t get into Slytherin.
You quickly wiped away the tears that were trying to spill out of your eyes, your hands shaking as you carefully turned around, not yet daring to look into the eyes of the boy you loved.
“There is something between us.”
Sirius confirmed something that the two of you already knew. Everyone knew it. All your friends talked about it. James and Remus once had a bet going on about when you would finally get over yourselves and start dating. James had lost that bet a long time ago. However, neither of them nor any of your other friends had lost hope.
“I know there is.”
You felt Sirius’ hand glide down your arm until he was able to grab your hand, slightly intertwining your fingers with his and this time you didn’t pull away. You even let him pull you closer to where he was.
“I’m just scared.”, you confessed.
“Why? There’s nothing to fear.”
“Yes, there is.”, you stated. “What if the two of us really started dating, and after a while, we notice that it isn’t right and we should only be friends? But we can’t be friends anymore because it would be too weird, and it would break my heart to ever see you with someone else. So, we can’t ever spend time with one another again, and our friends have to choose a side and – “
“y/n, stop. This is madness!”
You looked up at him with wide eyes, your lips lightly trembling. Sirius’ hand left yours, only for him to cup your face, his thumbs gently tracing your cheeks.
“Can’t we start worrying about it when it happens, which it won’t?”
“No, Sirius, we can’t. You know I can’t. I’m not a young, reckless boy like you who always thinks life is a joke. I worry all the fucking time.”
Sirius leaned forward to press his lips gently on your forehead, instantly calming you down. He didn’t always know what to say, but he always knew what to do, and he knew that his touch calmed you down.
Once the warmth of his lips disappeared from your forehead, you opened your eyes again, noticing that the young Gryffindor smiled at you. His eyes were full of adoration for you.
“Okay, let’s talk now.”, he told you honestly.
“If you’re willing to give us a chance, I will be the happiest man in the whole universe.”
“Man? You’re a boy.”
The two of you couldn’t help but laugh, and you immediately knew everything would be alright. You just felt it.
“Let me talk, woman.”
“Alright, go on.”, you said while you wrapped your arms slightly around him.
“Like I said, once we’re a couple I won’t let you go again. You’re my y/n. You have been ever since we first met on the Hogwarts Express, and that won’t change. James already hates me because I talk so much about you. Nothing will ever tear us apart, okay? We both know how to talk; we can communicate with one another if there's ever a problem. You’re the love of my life. There, I said it. And I mean every single word of it.”
Your cheeks were already as hot as they could get, the blush on full display. Why did you ever think you could just turn off your feelings for him? You must have been out of your mind. Sirius was the love of your life. He was the man–boy – of your dreams.
“I love you, Sirius Black.”
“I love you too, y/f/n.”
And there it was, the moment you had been waiting for.
Sirius slowly leaned down, his eyes never leaving yours. You were able to feel his hot breath on your lips before he finally pressed his to yours. His lips felt like magic. You could hear fireworks explode inside of you as you kissed the man of your dreams for the first time. They moved perfectly in sync while Sirius’ hands slid down from your cheeks, only for his arms to wrap around your body, squeezing you gently. You let out a slight giggle against his lips, not once pulling away from him. You knew you had to breathe at one point, but for now, you were okay with just being in the moment.
Until you heard someone clear their throat.
The two of you instantly pulled away from one another, your heads turning to the right, only to find Professor Dumbledore standing in the entryway to the Transfiguration classroom. One of his eyebrows was raised, and an amused smile graced his lips.
“Shouldn’t the two of you be on your way to lunch in the Great Hall?”
You nodded your head one of your hands holding your bag while the other one took Sirius’ hand, guiding him and yourself out of the classroom.
“Of course, Professor. We were just on our way.”, you stated embarrassedly, walking past the Headmaster of Hogwarts, your cheeks still as bright as a tomato.
“See what you did.”, you whisper-shouted.
Sirius only shrugged his shoulder, pulling his hand out of yours before he swung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close against him as he dropped a swift kiss on the top of your head.  
“What can I say? If you hadn’t ignored me for the past week, we might’ve had our first kiss somewhere private.”
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minastras · 3 months
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we fell apart when the sky was orange (and now every sunset reminds me of you) // beomgyu
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Two long years after he broke your heart, Choi Beomgyu remains your first and only love. Unfortunately he’s now also your colleague, and you’re not sure if you ever really got over him.
at a glance: gender neutral reader, exes to lovers, office au, angst, fluff, ft. enhypen’s heeseung, itzy’s ryujin, and p1harmony’s keeho
words: 6.5k
warnings: swearing
notes: happy valentine's day!! i'm like an hour late but shh hope u enjoy <3
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Your one-and-a-half year long relationship with Choi Beomgyu, the first serious relationship either of you had ever had, ended abruptly during a lovely evening in the East Coast Gardens. You’d gone there together with some of your friends for a picnic and to watch the sunset, celebrating finishing your second year of university.
At some point, you and Beomgyu left the rest of the group to take a walk along the beach. The sky was tinted that showstopping blend of pink and orange only seen at dawn and dusk, and he was holding your hand.
“We have to break up,” he blurted out, letting go.
When you two walked together, it was typical for neither of you to speak for long stretches of time. You weren’t exactly sure what you expected him to break the silence with, but it surely wasn’t that.
“What?”
“We have to break up,” he repeated, barely even looking you in the eye. His voice was flat, but his jaw was so tight he was slurring all of his words. “It’s, uh, it’s been real.”
The glow of the sunset, as breathtaking as it was, faded into the background for you. “It’s been real?” you echoed in disbelief, your mind still lagging ten paces behind your mouth. “Gyu, you can’t be serious. What happened?”
He took a step back from you. “Nothing happened. We just aren’t right for each other.”
“But- but we’re in love,” you protested, hating how childish you sounded. Maybe you were. Maybe it was your juvenile foolishness that had convinced you he meant it when he said ‘I love you too’, as if the ‘too’ tacked on at the end wasn’t a clear enough sign he just said it to agree with you.
You couldn’t remember what happened after that — what he’d said in response, if anything, whether you’d stormed off first or if he’d left you there in the sand, if you had cried. All you remembered was the heartwrenching drive home, shoved in the backseat next to a friend you’d long since lost touch with, periodically tipping your head back so your tears wouldn’t spill over.
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Two years later, everything worked out in the end. You’d like to think so, at least, because you and your best friend Ryujin had just graduated from university at the top of your cohort. With your grades, you both easily secured jobs at the biggest accounting firm in the country as recruits in their prestigious Graduate Talent Programme. It was your first day on the job, and you were about to meet the other GTs.
“No way,” Ryujin muttered.
“What?” you asked, but as the question was leaving your mouth you saw what she was pointing at. Or, more accurately, who.
Beomgyu saw you at almost the exact same moment you did. He locked eyes with you too quickly for you to have pretended not to see him, so you stood rooted in place as he made his way over to you. The expression on his face was unreadable.
“Hey, Y/N,” he greeted. You couldn’t recall the last time you heard your name come out of his mouth. Even though the office was stuffed with people more important than you two, people you should’ve been introducing yourself to, you saw and heard and felt no one but him.
“Hi, Beomgyu,” you returned, his name heavy on your tongue.
He rocked back on the heels of his black dress shoes — so opposite to the sneakers he used to wear everyday back when you dated, the white ones you had given him for his birthday four years ago and he refused to replace despite them just about falling apart — and put his hands in his pockets.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he said. You sensed a degree of wariness creeping into his tone now. He looked exactly the same, barring his slightly shorter hair with his icy grey highlights taken out.
“Yeah, what are the odds?” you asked, making casual conversation as if you couldn’t hear that same wariness in your own words.
He wore a crisp white button down, starched impeccably into perfect plains that wrapped around his broad torso, a thin black tie, and black slacks. He’d clearly gotten better at tying ties. You remembered struggling through the How to Tie a Windsor Knot WikiHow article with him before one of his job interviews, both of you flailing around helplessly for nearly an hour before you succeeded.
He nodded to someone standing behind you, prompting you to turn around. “Nice you’ve got Ryujin with you. Heeseung got in too, if you remember him.”
You did. When you and Beomgyu were still together he often told you about Heeseung, an old friend from high school he gamed with online. You wondered what he had told Heeseung about your breakup.
Thankfully, someone else called for everyone’s attention right then, and you booked it to the other corner of the room.
“Good morning everyone! I’d like to introduce our brand new GTP recruits. GTs, if you would please come to the front.”
You and the four other GTs awkwardly shuffled forward, and you ended up standing right beside Beomgyu. The universe hated you; that was the only explanation. Ryujin was too busy stifling her laughter to feel sorry for you.
“Joining our auditing team are Shin Ryujin, Lee Heeseung, and Yoon Keeho. Joining our advisory team are Y/N and Choi Beomgyu. Please give them all a warm welcome!”
The rest of the office clapped politely while your world crumbled around you (fine, you were being hyperbolic). Of all the people on the planet you could’ve been paired with, it just had to be him.
He still smelt the same, wearing the same cologne he’d worn when you were together. The same cologne which clung to your bedsheets for weeks after you broke up.
You closed your eyes for a split second, looking down so no one would notice, and took a deep breath. Then, you raised your head again, turned to Beomgyu, and held out your hand.
“I look forward to working with you,” you said with a polite smile.
He raised an eyebrow but shook your hand anyway.
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Your new team lead whisked you and Beomgyu around from office to office, throwing more information at you than any normal person would be able to process, giving you no room to breathe — let alone talk to the man who’d broken your heart two years ago and was apparently not over you, either.
Clearly, not talking to him didn’t mean you weren’t thinking about him.
Perhaps he was thinking about you too, because you’d catch him watching you out of the corner of your eye when he thought you were distracted. But your interactions with each other were limited to curt, perfunctory statements and uncomfortable glances.
After clock-off, your new colleague Keeho suggested all the GTs go out for drinks. He claimed it was so you’d get to know each other better, but it was clear he just wanted drama. You were at the bar ordering another mocktail when Beomgyu pulled out the barstool next to yours.
“Make that two, please,” he told the bartender, sitting down. Neither of you said a word. You snuck a glance at him to find him already looking at you, so you turned away and stared straight ahead.
Were you over him?
Truthfully, you weren’t sure. You couldn’t tell the difference between being hung up on an ex and grieving someone who’d been such a pivotal part of your life. Maybe it was the whole ‘you never really get over your first love’ thing other people talked about.
He cleared his throat. “Hey.”
You winced, bracing yourself for awkwardness. “Hey.”
“So, uh, you look-” he hesitated, cutting himself off, “How’ve you been?”
“Good… good. You?” You were starting to regret ordering a non-alcoholic drink, because he was just as pretty as you remembered and it was doing your head in.
Ryujin always said you needed to date again, that you’d never move on unless you put yourself back out there. To your credit, you did try. But you ran all your attempts at dating into the ground with all the same flaws of yours that had ended things between you and Beomgyu two years ago.
“Good…” He paused again, and then straightened his back and put his hands on the bar counter, open and declarative. “Can we not do this? Can we just start over?” he asked.
“Start over?” you echoed.
“What happened between us happened so long ago. We don’t need to dredge all that back up again,” he said.
The bartender returned with your identical drinks and, before you could say anything, Beomgyu handed over his credit card. He waved away your surprised gratitude, raised his glass, and held the other one out to you.
Maybe to another person, someone who knew him less well than you did, he’d seem cool and confident. But you could see a tentativeness in his eyes, a slight shake that told you he was worried you wouldn’t respond well, that you wouldn’t take the olive branch in his hand.
You let out a small laugh, the group chat revelation from this morning still rattling about in your head, and tapped the rim of your glass against his.
“Sure, Gyu. Let’s start over.”
——————————
You and Ryujin spent the entire night and most of the next morning’s commute to the office debating what ‘start over’ meant. She thought it meant going back to the courtship stage (whatever that was), and you thought it meant erasing yours and Beomgyu’s history entirely and beginning anew. As strangers.
“But he isn’t over you!” she protested, drawing ire from the elderly couple sitting in front of you on the train.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” you mumbled. “Nothing’s going to happen between us. We literally didn’t say a word to each other yesterday at work.”
Ryujin shook her head. “You’re wrong. There’s something there. I don’t know what, but there’s something.”
Nearly a whole week passed before you began to admit she was right, when even you could no longer bury your head in the sand and pretend you didn’t see it. You kept telling yourself you were content with carrying on your ostrich roleplay for as long as humanly possible, but it was starting to grate on you.
Every year, the GTP recruits were expected to put together a proposal paper and presentation on what they felt the company could improve. The deadline was in two months — how were any of you supposed to be familiar enough with the company by then to make policy recommendations?
“Our team lead keeps saying the company needs ‘fresh eyes’,” Keeho said during your first meeting for the project a week later, already careening off topic. “She stares right into my soul whenever she says ‘fresh eyes’. It’s fucking creepy.”
“It is creepy,” Heeseung agreed, twirling his pen between his fingers.
“Do we all have our notes ready?” Ryujin asked, wrangling the meeting back on track.
Beomgyu helpfully gathered up each of your notes and passed the stack over to you. You were friendly now after that night at the bar, but there was so much tension between you two that even your team lead pointed it out.
“You’re in charge of this, right?” Beomgyu asked. You had volunteered to do the boring work of collating all of your ideas and suggestions into a draft skeleton outline for the proposal paper.
“I’ll help you,” Keeho offered, smiling at you from across the table. “I’m happy to do the auditing parts.”
Beomgyu folded his arms and leant back in his chair. “They can manage.”
You had to stop going giddy every time you saw him in a shirt and tie.
“Actually, help would be useful,” you said to Keeho, ignoring Beomgyu not because you were annoyed, but because you didn’t know what to make of his interjection. Unbeknownst to you, Beomgyu scowled.
——————————
You and Keeho had arranged to work on the report after lunch that day. Beomgyu wasn’t keeping tabs on you or anything, he just made sure to remind you that you had a 3pm advisory meeting with him the same afternoon. Yes, that was the only reason he cared about what you did with your time.
And the only reason he was hovering around by Keeho’s office cubicle was to make sure you weren’t late for the meeting. Not because you were there. Not because you were with Keeho. Not because you and Keeho kept laughing and playfully pushing each other. What could possibly be that funny, anyway?
“Can I help you?” Keeho asked Beomgyu, finally noticing his presence.
Beomgyu ignored him and looked straight at you, tapping his watch. “Let’s go. It’s 2.50.”
“Ah, already?” you mumbled, mostly to yourself, gathering your things up from Keeho’s desk. “Sorry, Keeho. I’ll finish it tonight.”
Keeho smirked as his gaze shifted from you to Beomgyu and then back to you, before he let out a quiet laugh. “Don’t worry about it; I’ll take it from here.”
“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” You scrambled to your feet to follow Beomgyu to the lift lobby.
The meeting room was just three floors above you, and as soon as Beomgyu led you into the lifts he braced for you to ask him why he was in such a rush. It only took a minute to get there. But you didn’t; maybe you would have a couple of years ago.
——————————
Beomgyu waited until you and him were alone in the office — an hour or so after the end of the work day — when he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“There’s so much weird sexual tension between you and Keeho,” he said, trying and failing to sound casual. To both his amazement and relief, you didn’t seem to notice.
Your lips twitched, like you were about to reveal something but quickly decided against it. Beomgyu remembered when he was able to read you like an open book, but those days were now long gone and he couldn’t tell what you were thinking anymore.
“He’s hot. And tall. And he seems nice,” Beomgyu continued, unsure what he was trying to accomplish.
“I don’t really date anymore,” you blurted out, seeming to regret saying that almost immediately.
“Why not?”
You shrugged, now regaining your composure. “I… I don’t think I’d be a good partner. For anyone.”
It was Beomgyu’s turn to falter. He watched you carefully as the realisation started to sink in. The walls of the now quiet office felt like they were closing in on him. You’d blamed yourself for the breakup. He’d made you think you were too broken for love.
“Oh, god, did I do that to you?” he asked, so quiet it was nearly a whisper.
“…It was a long time ago,” you replied after what seemed like forever, a non-answer if ever there was one, glancing up from the desk and flashing him a tight-lipped smile. It didn’t even get anywhere near your eyes. “We don’t have to get into it. I’m sorry I brought it up. Like you said, we should just start over.”
He swallowed his pride and shook his head firmly. “No, I was wrong. We should talk about it. I don’t want to leave things unsaid.”
The version of him that had broken up with you would never have said that. That version of him refused to even admit when he had a headache. That version of him dumped you because he couldn’t handle you ‘always needing to talk about feelings.’ It was hard for him to stomach that fact, even all these years later.
“I don’t know- I had so many issues and I expected you to be my answer to all of them. I just figured that if even a guy like you couldn’t stand me, I was beyond redemption,” you shrugged.
Once, during a particularly hectic exam season back in university, you had completely shut yourself off from him, all your friends, even Ryujin. You didn’t talk to anyone for a week. You didn’t leave your room. You didn’t answer any of his texts or calls. He knew your parents were fighting and your rent had gone up past what you could afford and you were struggling to pass your classes. There was nothing more he wanted than to drive over to your place and hold you, to tell you everything was going to be fine, but you refused to let him.
“Do you still think that?” he asked, his throat feeling exceptionally tight.
“Maybe. I’m not sure,” you admitted.
Even back then he knew why you refused, although he wasn’t ready to admit it at the time. Whenever you did try to open up to him he would shut down, so eventually you stopped trying.
Your phone alarm went off before he could think of a response, a generic default ringtone. It used to be a recording of him quacking like a duck, because for some reason you found that hilarious and he liked doing it to cheer you up.
“I should go. My train’s coming,” you told him.
He blinked, blindsided. “Oh- okay.”
You packed your bag and stood up, walking to the lift lobby and pressing the button. Then, in a fraction of a second, you dropped the facade.
“Don’t take what I said too seriously, Gyu,” you assured him. “I’m alright now. I’m in a good place.”
He stared at your eyes, trying to decipher them, but you seemed to be telling the truth. After a second or two, he pulled his shoulders back and nodded. There was still a weight on his chest.
“I’m glad to hear it,” he smiled.
The lift doors behind you opened, and you smiled back. The weight lifted.
“See you tomorrow, Gyu.”
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The GTs were meeting before the work day officially started to discuss the progress you and Keeho had made yesterday. You and Ryujin got on the train an hour earlier than usual.
“Are you gonna say yes?” she asked, after you told her Keeho had asked you out on a date yesterday. She had a slice of buttered toast in her mouth in flagrant disregard of the ‘no eating’ sign right behind her.
“I don’t know,” you groaned, dragging out your last word like a whiny child. You only acted like this in front of Ryujin. “I should, right? He’s nice.”
“I don’t think you should date people on the basis of niceness. I think you should date them based on whether you actually like them,” she said, never being one to sugarcoat the truth for you, before her eyes widened in realisation. “Don’t tell me it’s because of Beomgyu.”
“It’s not,” you said, and she gave you a knowing look. “Well, it’s not not. What if I’m broken?”
Your conversation with Beomgyu hadn’t left your head since yesterday. You were still bewildered that he’d insisted on talking to you about your breakup; it was so unlike him. Or at least the version of him you remembered.
“I don’t understand how you can take him breaking up with you the way he did as an indictment on you and not him,” Ryujin said. “He always acted like you were some big emotional burden when most of the time you were just a bit sad and needed a hug. And he couldn’t even handle that.”
——————————
Beomgyu, Heeseung, and Keeho were all already in the meeting room when you and Ryujin showed up, even though you were five minutes early yourselves.
“Keeho brought doughnuts,” Heeseung announced instead of saying ‘good morning’, pointing to the box on the table. Ryujin grinned and skipped over to the box to grab one.
“Y/N, do you want Oreo or cinnamon?” Keeho asked, checking to see which flavours were left.
Beomgyu looked up from his phone and said nonchalantly, “Y/N doesn’t like eating in the morning.” The statement was addressed to Keeho, but he looked right at you as he said it.
You stared back at him. He remembered, but of course he did, because you used to watch him eat breakfast while only nursing a giant thermos of coffee every morning. He always nagged you about not skipping ‘the most important meal of the day’, and you always insisted that that was a myth. (For the record, you were right.)
“Uh- yeah. I’m good, thanks,” you stammered after far too long a pause.
Keeho cocked an eyebrow, looking between you and Beomgyu like he had yesterday with a slight smile on his face, before taking the last cinnamon doughnut for himself.
Five minutes before nine, you wrapped up your meeting. Beomgyu and Keeho offered to stay and reset the meeting room while the rest of you hurried to your desks, until you realised you’d left your phone behind and circled back to get it. Right as you reached for the door handle, you heard something that made you freeze.
“Y/N told me you asked them out.” Beomgyu’s voice was barely muffled by the closed door.
Peeking through the tiny window of the door, you saw Keeho shrug. “I did. But I’m not holding my breath.”
“Why? They think you’re hot,” Beomgyu said.
You were so going to kill him. That little-
Keeho laughed and shook his head. “Nah, I’m doomed by the narrative.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Beomgyu asked. That was the man you recognised, defensive and immediately assuming intent to offend. You heard them walking towards the door and scrambled to hide behind the wall around the corner, holding your breath.
“Relax, man,” Keeho chuckled, opening the door. The two men walked right past you, not noticing you. “I’m just saying you should go for it.”
Beomgyu frowned. “What?”
“Yeah. No regrets, right?”
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Beomgyu was acting differently with you now. He was smiling more, joking around more. You were trying not to think about it too much — you didn’t know what it meant, and, more worryingly, you didn’t know what you wanted it to mean.
You two stayed late one Friday night to work on a presentation deck, being the only people left in the office by 8pm. You ordered kimbap and fried chicken and ate dinner together at his cubicle, balancing paper plates on your knees while he typed and you peered over his shoulder.
“This feels familiar,” Beomgyu mused, turning around to look at you. You must’ve looked like a deer in the headlights to him, because you instantly forgot whatever you were about to say when he smiled at you.
In university you had spent many a night in his apartment sitting beside him at his desk, watching him game with Heeseung (whom you only knew at that point as a disembodied voice that lived in Beomgyu’s headset). You were usually snacking on something and you’d feed him whatever it was while he was playing.
“So, did you say yes to Keeho?” Beomgyu asked, sounding flippant, but you could tell he’d been waiting for the right time to ask you that for a while.
“No, he- that’s weird,” you frowned, after you pushed the ground floor button and it failed to light up. Then, the entire lift rattled. “That’s weirder.”
He reached over your shoulder to push the button again, his hair brushing against the back of your neck. Once more, it didn’t light up. But you were worrying about other things, namely how broad his button up made his shoulders look and how good he smelt.
“Answer my question,” he pressed, all while repeatedly poking the button like an impatient toddler.
You would’ve laughed, if not for how close he was standing to you making it impossible for you to think straight. “We decided against it- are we actually stuck in here?”
It was silent for a few seconds as you looked at each other, confused. And then he began to panic.
“No, we can’t be,” he insisted, jabbing his finger at the lift button over and over so hard you thought he’d break his knuckle. His eyes were wide and his breathing was shallow and fast.
“Gyu-”
He cut you off with a loud wail and slapped his hands onto his head, throwing his back against the wall behind him and sliding down it dramatically. You bit back a laugh, the feeling of his body right by yours a second ago now a distant memory.
“We’re trapped! We’re gonna die!” he shrieked, his voice amplified by the tightness of the space you were in. The lift rattled once more.
You stifled a laugh. “Dude, chill.”
It had been nearly four years since your first date, but you still remembered it vividly. He’d brought you to a night carnival, and one of the first attractions on the itinerary was the haunted house. He confessed to you months after you started dating that it was all part of his grand plan to make you fall in love with him: that you would get scared and cling onto his bicep and he’d heroically protect you.
The actual experience went like this. You and him made it about a fifth of the way through the haunted house — with you taking the lead and him screaming bloody murder the entire time — before he tapped out and you turned back. Upon shamefully emerging from the haunted house’s entrance like a couple of quitter chickens, he sank to the floor with his head in his hands, exactly as he was right now. Of course now he was in a button up, tie, slacks, and dress shoes rather than a university sweatshirt and jeans, but the pose was nearly identical.
“I’m too young to die! But I’m too old to get on the news for dying young!” he babbled. Maybe he was delirious from the stress of the job. Ignoring the meltdown unfolding by your feet, you dialled the emergency number above the lift door and gave the man on the other end of the line your lift’s reference number.
“The maintenance guy will be here in a few minutes,” you relayed, hanging up the phone.
He took his head out of his hands and stopped screaming. “Oh. I might have overreacted.”
You laughed, joining him on the floor on the opposite side of the lift. “You think?”
It was silent for a while, save for a few odd creaks from the lift here and there. He had his legs stretched out in front of him and they looked about a billion miles long. You couldn’t really look at him too much without your heart feeling weird.
“Hey,” he started, kicking your shoe to get your attention. “What happened with Keeho?”
He was still on that.
“Nothing. We decided it wasn’t a good idea,” you answered, pausing for a moment to mull over whether you should admit to the conversation you had eavesdropped on last week. You choose to keep your mouth shut.
Beomgyu stayed silent for so long that you got over your refusal to make eye contact and looked up to see if something was wrong. He was frowning. The lift was so small and quiet you swore you could hear your own heartbeat echoing off the walls.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know? Us. How we ended,” he said, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. “I was always shutting you down when you needed to be comforted. I even said you had too many issues.”
You winced at his last sentence, words that still stung nearly three years after he’d first uttered them to you. He must have seen it on your face, because he closed his eyes and looked away.
“Maybe we both met the right person at the wrong time,” you offered, trailing off as he silently got up from his spot opposite you and sat down next to you instead. If he moved even a millimetre closer, his shoulder would’ve touched yours. You held your breath and turned to him, your face so close to his that you could count his eyelashes.
“Yeah, maybe.” He held your gaze, unwavering.
The lift rattled even louder this time, but although you jumped he didn’t even flinch. Instead, his eyes drifted down to your lips. You used to rest your head on his shoulder when you two sat next to each other like this, whether it was on his sofa or at a restaurant. It was your ‘thing’.
He leaned in, and you found yourself drawn towards him. There was something magnetic about him that seemed to pull you forward, a compulsion of sorts. He used to taste like the pomegranate lip balm you kept in your pocket that he constantly nicked because he was too lazy to buy his own. You wondered if he’d bought one for himself after you split up. His nose brushed against yours and your eyes fluttered shut.
BANG!
You jumped apart, exchanging alarmed glances at the deafening metallic clang of the lift door.
“Maintenance! You guys okay in there?”
Beomgyu recovered from the shock before you did and sputtered out an, “All good!” But he was looking only at you. Beside him you were frozen, certain you could still feel the warmth of his breath on your face.
“Stand back from the doors!” the maintenance man continued.
You scrambled to your feet first, straightening your jacket and grabbing your bag. Your face felt like it was on fire. After (in your estimation) about a billion hours, the lift doors finally parted to reveal a beaming maintenance man.
“Thank you so much, sir. Have a good night,” you rushed out, mumbling a goodbye to Beomgyu without turning to look at him. He didn’t get a chance to return the pleasantry before you were gone.
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Neither of you spoke of the lift incident after that night. You acted like nothing had ever happened, and Beomgyu seemed more than happy to go along with your charade.
Your team lead had invited you both to tag along to a meeting with another company’s headquarters; neither of you had any direct involvement in the project, but he’d asked you to prepare a short presentation on your suggestions for the project anyway. It would be a good experience for you, hence why you agreed to it, but now you were starting to question your judgement.
“Are you nervous?” Beomgyu asked you under his breath as you walked down the corridor side by side to the conference room.
“Is it obvious?” you asked. Your thumb drive loaded with presentation slides was burning a hole in your pocket. Your palms were sweating, but you didn’t want to say that out loud. He’d just start rapping Eminem’s Lose Yourself at you and ruin your focus.
Truth be told, you didn’t really know why he was here — he wasn’t giving a presentation and had nothing to do with the project.
“It’s obvious to me,” he answered.
If you read into that even a little, you inferred he meant that he knew you better than other people did, that he saw more of you than they did. If you read into your own relief when he told you this morning he was coming for the meeting, you inferred having him with you made you feel more secure.
You needed to stop reading into things.
But how could you, when he checked where the air conditioning vents in the meeting room were the second he walked in so he could get you both seats far away from them, knowing you got cold easily? And how could you, when he swapped your chair with his own on instinct to give you the one without any broken wheels?
After the meeting ended, you took the train back home with him. It was a two hour ride.
“You did great,” he praised, leading the way to an empty train carriage. As he walked, he slipped his fingers under his navy blue tie, loosening the knot and popping open the top button of his shirt. You tried not to stare.
“Thanks.” You sat down in the window seat, and he took the one beside you. His shoulder touched yours. Were train seats always this narrow?
There was a part of you that wished Ryujin were here to knock some sense into you and/or crush your delusions before they became too well fleshed out, but she was starting to warm to Beomgyu more and more these days. She was even encouraging you to talk to him. Ryujin? Encouraging you to talk to Beomgyu? Maybe you’d fallen into the matrix.
——————————
“I’m on my way home. How was work?”
You hadn’t dreamt about Beomgyu in a long time, but your dreamscape’s recreation of his voice still remained accurate. Warm and melodic, with a smooth lilt that made anything he said sound poetic.
“It was alright. Are you with Y/N?”
Heeseung’s voice. Hm. Dreaming about Heeseung was weird, but not entirely out of the question. You’d gotten to know him pretty well-
“Shh, man. They’re sleeping right beside me.”
At that, you finally woke up. Your head was resting on Beomgyu’s shoulder instead of the window pane, somehow having found its way to him while you were asleep. Perhaps he’d shifted you there himself, like he used to do whenever you dozed off on the wall of yours and his favourite study booth in the back of the university library.
He didn’t notice you were awake. You kept your eyes shut and remained perfectly still.
“Have you guys talked?” Heeseung asked on the other end of the phone.
“No. What am I supposed to say? Sorry I almost kissed you, I think I’m still in love with you?” Beomgyu said quietly.
“Yeah. Literally.”
“I can’t do that, man.”
“Why not? The universe gave you a second chance. No regrets, right?”
Beomgyu was silent for a few seconds.
“Yeah, I’ll see you at home.”
He hung up without giving Heeseung a chance to reply, and you felt him shifting around as he slipped his phone into his pocket.
Still. Not that he fell in love with you again, but that he never stopped. He was still in love with you.
His hair brushed the side of your face when he turned to you and called your name softly.
“Y/N, wake up.”
You’d never been a particularly good actor, but you pretended to wake up as best as you could and hoped he didn’t see through you.
“Look,” he said quietly, even though there was no one else around, pointing out the window.
The sun was just beginning to set, glowing a brilliant warm orange and glazing the clouds around it in red and yellow. Pink streaks spanned across the sky and through the window into the train carriage.
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered.
When you turned back around, Beomgyu was watching you instead of the sunset. He looked away immediately, clearing his throat and shifting around in his seat. You wondered if he was thinking of the same thing you were.
“Sorry I woke you. I didn’t want you to miss the sunset,” he mumbled. His hands sat folded awkwardly in his lap like he didn’t know what to do with them.
Still. Still?
You could count on one hand the number of times in your life you’d been well and truly speechless; this was one of them.
He seemed to mistake your silence for something else — you didn’t know what — because he turned away and dropped his gaze apologetically.
“Hey, about the other day,” he said, trailing off, “I’m sorry I made things weird.”
You weren’t going to lose him again. You’d had enough heartbreak.
“You didn’t,” you rushed out, placing your hand over his. The movement was sudden and uncoordinated, an impulsive lunge forward rather than a measured and gentle reach. “I wish I hadn’t run away like that.”
Beomgyu’s eyes were wide, his lips parted slightly in shock. You didn’t know if your words or your actions had caused that.
“Really?” His voice was all breath and no depth.
The melting light of the sunset behind you poured into the train carriage through the window, lying across his face in ribbons of gold that made his skin glow. The hue was almost indescribable, the type of colour only found during sunsets, and the colour you associated only with Choi Beomgyu.
His fingers curled up to lace themselves with yours, and you felt a coldness on your skin that gave you a jolt. It was a ring. Plain, thin, silver.
You bought him matching rings for your six month anniversary, thick patterned silver ones with intricate carvings and twisted rope trimmings. They were cheap costume jewellery — you lost your job around then and that was all you could afford — and they stained your fingers green after a few days.
You gave up and wore your ring on a chain around your neck instead, but he wore his on his index finger every day, all the way to the end. You used to call him 1% Shrek.
He squeezed your hand.
Now or never.
“I don’t want to… I don’t think I can pretend I’m not in love with you anymore,” you admitted, your heart battering against your rib cage like it was trying to burst out of your chest.
Beomgyu’s grip on your hand tightened. “Me neither,” he whispered.
You looked at him, at the softness in his brown eyes and the gentle slope of his nose. He had made all the first moves in the past. He asked you out on the first date, he initiated your first kiss, he introduced you to his friends and family first. You were done with waiting for him to lead the way.
“Can I kiss you?” you asked.
All his nerves appeared to melt away. He grinned cockily, the exact same grin he donned right before he was about to do something annoying.
“Kissing on public transport is so passé,” he said with a dramatic sigh, even though you were the only people on the train. “We aren’t horny students anymore, we’re grown adults with serious jobs-”
“There’s a juice box sticking out of your bag,” you pointed out, suppressing a laugh.
He moved towards you, his free hand coming up to rest on your cheek. Like your muscles had held onto the memory of his touch all these years, you leant into the familiar warmth of his palm.
“You make a compelling argument,” he muttered, before bringing his lips to yours.
Peppermint. He used peppermint lip balm now.
When was the last time you’d kissed? You couldn’t remember. But you remembered how it felt — the way his lips slotted perfectly between yours, his curve of his hand on your face, the angle of his shoulder exactly where you always held onto him.
When you separated, he pressed a final quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. That was his trademark; he never kissed you without doing that.
“I can’t believe you came back to me,” he said. The diffuse amber of the sunset glazed over his face, making his eyes sparkle. Something about the way he looked at you slowed your heart rate, made you feel sedated.
You ran your thumb over the ring on his index finger, now warmed from the heat of your locked hands.
“Always.”
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thanks for reading!
-minastras <3
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