#whats with me and making terrible and/or miserable characters and situations

[atopvisenyashill]

Is Lyanna really as terrible as some people portray her as?

no, not even a little bit.

the absolute most important thing about lyanna is that when she dies she is only 16. i am someone who works with kids - i work in a library so i spend most of my days cleaning up after tweens and asking teenagers to please stop doing dumb shit- and the first thing anyone who has ever worked with kids and especially teenagers is that they may look like adults but they are NOT. they don’t understand boundaries, they have next to zero impulse control, and every bad thing that happens feels like the worst thing ever because it very likely IS the worst thing they’ve ever experienced bc they have not been alive that long!

and this goes for every single teen & tween character in this series, not just lyanna! shit, i am someone who feels an immense amount of sympathy for joffrey! on one side he’s got his mother telling him he can do anything he wants with no repercussions and on the other he’s got his father hitting him so hard that stannis thought joffrey was going to die. and then he is given unchecked power and told not to abuse it! EYE cannot even guarantee that i wouldn’t use unchecked power to do shady shit and i am a fully grown adult, not a traumatized, irrationally, and deeply vindictive 13 year old boy.

but honestly the most important thing about lyanna is that we have ZERO CONTEXT for what happens between her and Rhaegar. What we have is

Ned’s sparse & guilt ridden thoughts about Lyanna and one (1) comment about Rhaegar

Robert’s angry, entitled, and grief ridden outbursts about Lyanna and Rhaegar

Barristan’s incredibly romanticized, guilt & grief ridden take on their relationship

Meera’s second hand account of Lyanna, told to her by a father who is likely just as guilt & grief ridden as the others, who likely has his own view of Lyanna

What’s important to note is that our view of her is heavily filtered through the eyes of the men that knew her. Robert loves an idealized version of her that never existed. Barristan never actually knew her. Ned is not only viewing her under 200 layers of guilt and grief, but very obviously does not understand his sister, or why she made the choices she did, and struggles constantly with knowing that he will never know her the way he wishes he could, the way he thought he did. Given the way Meera describes Lyanna, I actually think Howland is our most accurate look at her but even that is buried behind years of grief & a fair amount of hero worship and affection (“that’s my fathers man you’re kicking howled the she-wolf” is a line that makes me WEEP for this exact reason; Howland sees Lyanna as his hero above all else!).

All of that to say - we don't even know what Lyanna did that was so terrible! Even if she was a grown woman capable of making rational decisions, we have no idea what her decisions were. She could have been lied to, misled, kidnapped, threatened, just as surely as she could have walked into the situation with open eyes. Even in the show, with a slightly aged up Lyanna - we get, what, just Sam's opinion on Rhaegar and Lyanna being in love because they got hitched? Completely ignoring the fact that we had several women in this series get married not because they were in love or willing but because someone more powerful decided on it and that was that, so there's still no evidence that Lyanna had enough information about the situation to make any sort of informed, consensual decision.

so no, i do not hold lyanna responsible for anything at all that happened regardless of how it happened because she was not mentally mature enough to understand what the hell was going on. a 15 year old is just not mature enough to think “if i run off with this married man, it’s going to cause a cascade of political issues that could have disastrous consequences.” what she’s probably thinking is “this man says he can help me and i am fucking miserable and no one else will listen.” it’s why we don’t throw 15 year olds who run away to meet up with old dudes they met online in jail when they’re caught (or theoretically why we don’t punish them at any rate). There is one person and one person only who is responsible for the massive fuck up that is the Elia-Rhaenys-Aegon-Lyanna-Jon mess and that is RHAEGAR, the person with the most amount of power who used it in the dumbest way imaginable and got himself, most of his heirs, his wife, and his teenaged mistress killed. The only other people responsible are the Kingsguard who kept Lyanna under lock and key while she lay dying and pleading for her brother to come save her.

#lyanna stark #anti rhaegar targaryen #valyrianscrolls #gender politics in asoiaf #mariages in asoiaf #asks #anons

[petit-etoile]

Congrats on 200 followers! :D For drabble ideas, how about one where Tav is becoming overwhelmed from being the leader of their group and they end up having a bit of a breakdown in camp, so Astarion whisks them away and dotes on them for the evening to help soothe some of their worries.

i  am  tired  of  being  brave

pairing: astarion/tav wordcount:  1,036 content warnings: none other tags: canon compliant, introspection, character study, idiots in love, established relationship, gender neutral tav, human!tav archiveofourown: here.

tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils,@8-opossums, @worryknotdear, @abirdaboxandachippedcup, be added to the taglist here

summary: All you want is to get away from everything. Astarion indulges you.

‘Enough!’ you shout.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart have the decency to look properly chagrined when they peer over at you, frozen as if turned to stone. Shadowheart’s knife dips underneath Lae’zel’s chin, but the pretense of applied pressure goes away. You have no idea what hour it is or how long they’ve been going at it but the little patience you have snaps like a fine thread.

‘We have only gotten this far because we trust each other,’ you snap at them, pulling your nightshirt tighter around your shoulders. ‘But if you want to ruin that, leave me out of it!’

In what is likely the silliest mistake to make, you turn around and march to your bedroll to pick up your hunting knife and then march beyond the outskirts of camp  —  beyond Halsin and Jaheira and Gale and Wyll and Karlach, and Withers who seems to be musing over the situation with faint interest.

If Shadowheart and Lae’zel want to fight to the death, let them! You’ve done all that you can to get the group this far. You’re tired, you’ve been woken up two nights in a row, and you’ve had it with the drama.

You plunge yourself through the nearest bush you can find and sit next to running water, your arms pulled across your chest to keep the breeze from chilling you to the bone. You’re miserable beneath the moonlight. You can’t remember the last time you’ve slept more than four hours.

You almost doze off in the underbrush beneath a tree, but then there’s a hand sliding over your mouth and a body behind yours, somehow wedged behind you once your eyes closed. You gasp and try to reach for your knife, but Astarion tuts and continues sliding between you and the tree. It would be annoying if you weren’t relieved it was him. You relax back against him despite the feeling that your heart is going to leap out of your throat.

‘You shouldn’t fall asleep in the woods,’ Astarion warns you. ‘There are terrible beasts that have made this place their hunting ground.’

You shiver. ‘I didn’t mean to fall asleep,’ you say. ‘I just needed to get away.’

He hums. ‘Did something happen back at the camp?’

It doesn’t do any good to keep secrets, and your other companions had already witnessed it. You tell Astarion about Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s never ending fight. It doesn’t make sense to keep attacking one another, especially since the Artefact is the only reason the worms haven’t burrowed deeper into your skulls. It wears you down every day to keep making decisions for everyone when there are people with better experience. Everyone looks to you no matter how much you wish they’d look elsewhere. You never wanted this fellowship to hang on your every word. You just wanted allies.

‘It’s hardly fair,’ Astarion agrees. ‘To have the weight of this…Absolute sitting on your shoulders. I can’t imagine what it must be like to wrangle us all into cohabitation.’

‘Some discomforts are easier to resolve than others,’ you say. ‘It was easy making everyone throw their stakes away.’

‘I’m fairly certain Wyll kept his,’ Astarion snorts.

‘Yes, but he doesn’t wake us all up holding it at your neck,’ you say, elbowing him. ‘They don’t have to become friends or lovers or anything of the sort. They just have to get along until we arrive at Baldur’s Gate.’

Baldur’s Gate still seems so very far away. Acknowledging this drags you down more than you wish it to. You’re tired of walking and fighting and lying your way out of every other conflict. You miss your family and your life before the worm. The only good that’s come of it is Astarion. He lets you lounge on him when you please in exchange for some blood, and…

It’s more than that.

Astarion lets you do whatever the hell you please as long as it doesn’t annoy him. You’re free to nap in his tent or sit at his side while he reads, and he’s even allowed you to style his delicate curls with pomade. He lets you kiss him if you ask, holds your hand. If you asked him to kill someone for you, you’re certain he would without question.

Reluctantly, you sit forward. ‘I should probably head back,’ you admit. ‘I should make sure everyone is still alive.’

‘To the hells with it,’ Astarion disagrees. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back. ‘You close your eyes and sleep. Let them come looking for us if it troubles them that much.’

‘And if Shadowheart kills Lae’zel?’

‘I’m almost certain Lae’zel would win,’ he says. ‘But, I have no doubt they’ll behave. You, on the other hand, are being naughty.’

You laugh but you do as you're told. You worm further in the roots and lean back against him. It’s chilly, but having someone else there does wonders for how willing you are to fall asleep. It’s almost nice how secluded you are away from the drama and stress. You almost wish you were a vampire so that you could sneak out and use hunting as an excuse.

The respect for all you do is nice. Sure, Halsin and Jaheira have both commended you for how hard you work for your age, but it isn’t the same. You still stand in the middle of camp trying to handle things on your own. The planning, the decisions. They somehow fall on your shoulders. A little more input would be nice, or a sign from a god that you’re doing the right thing. You try not to think about it as you feel sleep edge toward your consciousness. Astarion hums softly in your ear, and though it’s uneven, you can’t help but think it’s so off-tune that it’s lovely.

You yawn so hard your jaw pops, and Astarion hushes you, kissing idly behind your ear. It lulls you into an ease you haven’t experienced for a while. You melt into the touch. If you could purr, you would.

‘This,’ Astarion says, ‘is what you deserve. To relax here in my arms. Sleep now, and we’ll deal with what shall come in the morning.’

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x reader #astarion x oc #from ，carcosa . #my fic #anonymous #* a thousand lives，and one #foreshadowing for the sake of this verse? #mayhap .

[yu-huuuu]

Could I have an imagine/a little scenario of Madara, Itachi, Sasuke and Hashirama explaining to his son that his wife is pregnant again and that he'll have a little sibling soon? Thank you! I hope I'm not bothering 😅

[ 🌸 ] these four give me vibes of being mayhem with a little kid around them… pfff-

characters: madara uchiha;; itachi uchiha;; sasuke uchiha;; hashirama senju;; some character mentions

genre: fluff;; lovely-family comedy;; sad moments?

warnings: none;; grown men trying to explain to a child where babies come from (it goes wrong);; pregnant reader;; is a happily married couple a warning?

. - - -

𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀: 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘵

. - - -

. - - -

. - - -

. - - -

madara uchiha

*welcome to see the scariest man in the ninja world being a puddle of nerves with his son.

*He does not know how to explain this topic to the child 💀

*The only reason he does it is that you talked him into it.

*And he, being the good husband that he was, succumbed to your wishes lmao

"But darling, I don't know how to explain this to our son-"

"You will do a good job, love, besides, who would be the best to explain this than you?"

*Letting out a dramatic sigh, your imposing husband - who didn't look so imposing now - sat down with his boy, and spoke

"You're going to be a big brother"

*He would try to explain your pregnancy situation to the best of his ability to his four-year-old son.

*What it entails, the burden your body will carry. How in your precious womb you carry his son, his beloved youngest son, who will be born in a few months.

*But, despite everything- it fails miserably.

*Your son, oh, your precious and clearly confused son, innocently asked his dad, “But daddy, how did mommy get pregnant?”

*Madara.exe has stopped working- Seriously, the question leaves him paralyzed for a full minute.

*You think he just stopped breathing because he just doesn't move anymore.

*But no- there's nothing to worry about… he just doesn't know how to function anymore.

*His mind went blank, and he forgot the steps to follow to exist.

*He's had his Windows reset, just give him a moment- and yes, he'll be fine, I promise.

*When he comes to, he gives you a 'helping' look as he adorably babbles nonsense.

“I-…uhhh well I…”, he tries to speak as you try not to laugh at his unfavorable situation. How could you avoid it? The only times he's been like this is only when you annoy him-also when more racy things happen, and you're the dominant one... but that's a topic for another day-

*But seriously, help him or send help please... He's going to collapse at any moment, pfff-

*Also remembering his younger brother, Izuna. But he trusts that his son will not make the same mistake that he did, which was not protecting his younger brother.

. - - -

itachi uchiha

*Actually, it happened unexpectedly.

*You had not yet told your son about your pregnancy.

*And One night you were having a hard time with the terrible vomiting of pregnancy. And Itachi, like the loving and protective husband that he is, was by your side comforting you and holding your hair so it wouldn't get in your way. Your beloved partner was so focused on you that he did not notice that his son was at the entrance of the bathroom door watching what was happening.

*He only became aware of his son's presence when he helped you up because your body had been very weak.

*He could see the worry and fear in his son's eyes, the little boy was worried about you, his loving mother.

*After helping you get clean, he took you to your shared room to tuck you into the soft bed, after making sure you were comfortable and that you were asleep, he went to where his son was. When he approached his son Itachi's heart ached, his child looked like he was about to cry. With quick steps he approached the small body of him to hug him.

*With a trembling voice, his son, soon to be five, asked, "Daddy, is Mommy going to die?"

*Itachi had to hold back the amused smile that was about to appear on his face. After all his son was genuinely worried about you, he had to calm down those worries first, and then the next morning he could tell you and laugh along with you about his son's innocent question.

*Stroking the soft hair of his son, he spoke, "Your mommy will be fine, little one, it's just that she's pregnant."

*And congratulation's! You now have two official bodyguards; your loving husband and son.

*"I'll protect you mommy!" //Itachi supporting from the back//

*Rather, you and itachi protect him, but- don't tell him, okay? Your baby is proud and Itachi only feeds your son's pride lmao

. - - -

sasuke uchiha

*He is proud and happy to have another child (he vaguely wants it to be a girl)

*Since he wants to break the news to the boy, he tries to mentally prepare himself to explain to his son about your situation (you support him deep down).

*When he feels ready, he goes to where his son is and sits next to him.

*He starts off softly preparing the boy for the big reveal.

“Have you ever… wanted to be a big brother?”

*The question brings out everything his son has imagined, when he thinks about what he would be like as a big brother.

*How he would always protect his little brother or sister, how he would play with him or her and how he would always be there for them.

*Vaguely, his own son reminds him of Itachi, his beloved older brother now deceased. And Sasuke remembering his family again wonders if his father and his brother had this talk before he was born.

*He swallows the urge to cry just remembering Itachi again.

*but, he is happy just thinking that his son will be a good big brother, just like his uncle.

*And Sasuke knows that, if one day he and his beloved wife are no longer in this world, his eldest son will take care of the youngest… just as itachi took care of him.

"You're going to be a big brother"

*Yes… his son is going to be a good big brother.

*And that same afternoon a happy Sasuke, but a little sad, returned to your arms along with his son, very excited who kept asking you about your little belly.

. - - -

hashirama senju

*He's nervous, you'd think it's just because of your pregnancy

*but it's not like that

*is he nervous?, yes

*but he's scared too, you know?

*His father was not the best father figure, he was not a good husband either

*and you would really think that being the head of the village he would be sensible regardless, but no.

*He's just afraid of becoming like his father, he's afraid of hurting you one day and hurting his children.

*And even though you're always reassuring him that he'll be a good husband, there's still that little pressure on his chest of fear.

*But surprisingly, he gets up and talks to his son.

*He knows that if one day the fear of becoming like his father comes true, his eldest son will be able to protect you from him.

*According to him, he is avoiding catastrophes… pfff-

*His son, seeing his not so animated state, asks him what he has, and despite only being five years old, your husband tells him about his fears.

*And the child in his innocent little head assures him that he would never be a monster, he could never be like that, because he is his precious daddy.

*the one who always tells bad jokes and makes his beloved mother laugh.

*Your husband, being the sentimental man he is- cries, cries like when you said the same thing to him the first time while he hugs his son.

*When the hugs end and the thoughts and fears leave Hashirama he can rest in peace. He no longer sees himself as someone who will be bad one day.

*And most importantly, if he ever disappears or dies, he knows that his older son will protect you and his younger brother.

#naruto headcanons #naruto x reader #sasuke x reader #itachi x reader #hashirama x reader #madara x reader #madara uchiha #uchiha sasuke #itachi uchiha #uchiha #hashirama senju #naruto shippuden #itachi uchiha x reader #naruto hashirama #hashirama senju x reader #sasuke x you

[voxtek-enterprises]

Okay okay forgive me if this is incoherent I don't rant very often. I've been seeing a lot of posts shitting on Husk for Loser, Baby, saying he was being an asshole and he was in the wrong or whatever, and that Husk and Angel Dust are bad for each other and toxic and yadda yadda yadda.

And you know? Maybe it wasn't the standard sunshine and rainbows way of going about it. But the show already took the time to show you that Charlie's way, the way that would make these people happy, wasn't going to work! Angel's fucked up as shit. So is just about everybody else in hell. The NORMAL way of going about things isn't gonna work because everyone is jaded, distrustful, and cynical. Hell's denizens think about things differently than we do because their experiences are vastly different and worse than ours. They have to be distrustful to survive.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: the same approach isn't gonna work on everyone because everyone is different. So is it strange and fucked up? Yes. Was it the only way for Husk (who is strange and fucked up) to get through to Angel (who is also strange and fucked up)? Yes.

At the beginning, before Husk calls him a loser, Angel's clearly miserable. He thinks Husk is gearing up for some "Things suck now but they'll get better! Things aren't as bad as they seem!" speech á la little miss Bleeding Heart, Charlie. He thinks he knows what's coming, and he's kind of just waiting for Husk to get over with it and shut up.

"You think your life is wrecked. Well let me just say that you're correct!" Husk has intentionally subverted Angel's expectations, using surprise to get through to him. You can see Angel is annoyed for a little bit while he's trying to figure out what Husk's trying to say. He's starting to think Husk only came out here to make fun of him.

And yeah, Husk sings for a little while about how Angel is a loser. He's not trying to tell Angel that his life is okay or things get better or some 100% positive but ultimately meaningless pleasantries. They've both probably heard shit like that before, like "I hope it gets better" "Things aren't as bad as they seem" whatever. They both know it doesn't mean anything, even if it's well-intentioned. It means nothing to Husk, and since he understands Angel, he knows it wouldn't mean anything to Angel either, so he doesn't bother.

Slowly he starts singing more about how he and Angel are similar. "You're a loser, just like me." "You're a power bottom at rock bottom, but you've got company!" "There was a time I thought no one could relate to the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged." He's not trying to exclusively shit on Angel, he's trying to acknowledge the true shittiness of their situations and how they're similar. He's doing it in a fucked up way because they're both fucked up and it's the way they understand.

This is where Angel is starting to understand what Husk is saying.

Husk: "We're both losers, baby, we're losers! It's okay to be a-"

Angel: "Coked-up dick-sucking hoe?"

Husk: "Baby that's fine by me!"

Husk is accepting Angel for who he is and the situation he's been forced into. They've both made very similar, very terrible decisions that have led them to their respective shitty predicaments, and Angel is realizing just how similar they really are now.

Both, singing at the same time: "You're a loser, just like me!"

Husk has managed to break through Angel's shell and get him to open up. They're friends now! I could go on and on but I'll skip to the end because I think I've made my point.

Ultimately, Husk's point is "We're both kinda pathetic and in terrible situations, and we may both be losers, but there's no need to hate ourselves or self-destruct or pretend we're anyone but who we really are." And he goes about it in a way that may not make sense to normal people, but makes sense to each other because of how similarly they're fucked up. It works.

It's really annoying when I see people who think you can't like a flawed character or a relationship (friendly or romantic, doesn't matter). Like oh no, the weird little freaks are doing weird little freak things and understanding each other in weird little freak ways. I don't really get what their point is anyway. So what if they're weird? So what if Husk is kind of an asshole about it? Nothing else was gonna work. Real people who are scarred as much as Husk and Angel are usually sick of the sunshine and rainbows bullshit anyway, many of them would much rather hear the truth and receive support than be hit with the Charlie approach. I'm not shitting on Charlie because I love her and her approach is great (and also normal) but as I said before: the same approach won't work on everyone. Hers worked on Vaggie and Sir Pentious but didn't work on Angel Dust, hence why Angel's character development was really kickstarted when he became friends with Husk.

I think these people are just chronically online and media illiterate tbh. Anyway, sorry if this was long or drawn out. I have too many opinions about people who don't exist and they're very disorganized.

#huskerdust #husk #angel dust #hazbin hotel #tbh im not a huge shipper of angel dust. i care more about their emotional connection #(platonic or not) #than whether or not they're fucking #personally i think if huskerdust becomes canon it should be after they both have time to heal #neither of em are ready for a relationship #and if they don't date? thats cool too!! deep important friendships are highly underrated in media. both r good

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Part two thoughts on an ani x bpd reader? Like, when things get that bad, does either of them wake the fuck up and realize things need to change? Remorse or guilt? The reader leaving? Ani leaving or falling into a self loathing hole, doing bad stuff again and again whether to himself or reader) and not taking care of himself?

It’s interesting to read some of your takes on BPD relationships, because I obviously have no idea what that’s like, but you do. You can make it seem very addicting, but also very terrifying and unhealthy, depending on which way the pendulum swings (I hope you take that as a compliment. Tone is hard through text. Lol. 😅).

I personally do not believe abuse is justified in any situation, whether you have a disorder or not. There’s lots of ways to deal with feelings without taking it out on someone else. On the other hand, I know some BPD’s have described feeling horrified with themselves after an episode like that, and so I’ve never really known just how much ‘control’ someone has in that moment. Either way, I still believe it’s the person’s responsibility to find a way to deal with it. Nobody deserves to be miserable around them just because they can’t handle something.

Anyway, I kind of went off on a rant. Apologies. Lol. My main request was for a part two of Ani x BPD reader! ❤️🫶✨

Not offended at all bby.

I think after I’m done with stalker!ani I’ll write a fic on this. Just cause so many people have asked about it.

100% BPD X BPD would be a terrible pairing. Coming from me as a bpd gal.

Now, personally, I’ve never physically abused anyone during an episode. But I HAVE done lots of property damage and I also broke my hand when I used a concrete wall as a punching bag. I split a wooden bat at the tip from whacking a fence once.

When it gets that bad, I don’t really remember what I said or did. I just feel really jittery, almost like an extreme caffeine high you know? (Imagine old cartoon character drinking coffee and their whole body vibrates, eyeballs and all)

But if it doesn’t get to that point, which it rarely does now that I’m medicated correctly and have a good support system, I IMMEDIATELY feel regret. Like horrible sorrow. Bpd means big feelings and when I feel regret, which isn’t often, it feels like I’m grieving a death that I’m to blame for.

For the smaller, more snappy or short outbursts:

My mouth works faster than the logical part of my brain that tells me not to say something mean.

Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of saying something awful and then I just have to finish it because the damage is done and I may as well spit it out. Then I’ll lock myself in the bathroom for an hour until I’ve hyped myself up enough to apologize, then I’ll go back to the bathroom until the big feelings from my apology die down. I’ll be quiet, basically selectively mute for the rest of the day and be super irritable.

It’s exhausting. But it’s even more exhausting to have to continually remind myself not to spew the first thing that pops into my head or not to chuck the bag of shredded cheese at the wall because I can’t get the ziploc to open.

It’s so stupid that something so small as getting my hairbrush stuck on a knot in my hair could set me off into a teeth gritting, foot stomp and shriek. Like wtf? That’s embarrassing. But it happens before I can even think about what I’m doing.

The best way I can describe it is: I’m a bratty toddler when it comes to emotional regulation.

But you’re so right tho, your illness doesn’t give you an excuse to be an ass. It just proves the person doesn’t want to put in the work to get better if they use it as a justifying reason.

BPD might cause my reactions, but I’m in charge of my actual actions. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to recognize that though. I’m an adult now, I’m medicated, I’ve spent my fair share of days in the loony bin. Looking back at my teenage self? It’s horrific and sad. For me and everyone around me back then.

#anakin fanfiction #star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars #anakin x you #sw anakin #darth vader #darth vader smut #actually bpd #bpd vent

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #14 – And Put Away Childish Things by Adrian Tchaikovsky

This book I basically came across by chance. Or, well, not exactly chance, but I’d never even heard of it before until I checked what Tchaikovsky books my local library system had copies of and saw it. Which in a sense is a terrible way to come into this – it’s an incredibly dramatic swerve from any of Tchaikovsky’s other stuff that I’ve read – but coming in totally blind pretty much worked, I think. Genuinely very fun read.

The story follows Harry Bodie, a children’s TV presenter facing down middle age with a career that’s never really lived up to expectations. Somewhat desperately, he signs on to a tabloid-ish program about digging into the family tree, hoping to use the residual fame of his grandmother and her fairly famous and successful series of postwar children’s fantasy novels as a career boost. Instead he gets his face rubbed in the fact that his great-grandmother is only recorded as an indigent madwoman, and the famous author was born in a sanitarium. That the famous Underhill stories were, in fact, based in large part on delusions told as childhood fables and family histories.

Somewhat unsurprisingly, the stories turn out to be less delusional than previously reported. Bodie is in quick succession accosted by a faun, approached by a suspicious PI, and kidnapped by a surprisingly moneyed fan-club-cum-occult-coven. Soon enough he’s getting his first taste of Underhill first hand – or, at least, what’s left of it after a century and change of economizing and entropy.

I’m on record as being fairly dismissive about the whole category of ‘stories about stories’, and I guess I need to eat my words a bit because I actually really enjoyed this. To an extent that’s probably just because it doesn’t get too meta – storyland is a work of deliberate artifice, the stories themselves don’t shape the world or do magic, it just generally never tries to get too cute or didactic about it – but still. This is a book where the hero at one point describes his situation as ‘Five Nights at Aslan’s’ so there’s no real principled distinction for me to cut here. One of the main characters is literally a folklorist.

Though, it’s less about stories than one specific story in particular. The unremarkable schlub plucked out of their mundane life and told that they’re special, that they’re the hero or the true heir and possess some inherent numinous essence that makes them the most important person in the world. This is a terribly appealing story, and one Harry feels the lure of very keenly – he’s self-aware enough to say quite clearly that he goes back to the frozen, decaying world full of half-dead monsters less out of morality or rationality than simply because it was a place where he mattered, for good or ill.

It’s probably not reading too deeply into the book’s themes to note that the story is a lure in a fairly literal sense, or that the true heir is destined to ‘save’ the world by being hollowed out and possessed by those who came before them.

Of course as much as this is in conversation with Narnia et al, it owes at least as much to whole genre of ‘what is nostalgic children’s property, but fucked up?’ creepypasta. Fairyland is choked with fungal growths and creepy, staticy not-snow. The scampering, troublemaking faun is miserable and worn out with bad knees. The Best Of All Dogs is a rotting, terrifying hellhound. There’s even a titanic evil scary clown. Aesthetically the book owes far more to r/nosleep than Lewis Carroll.

Harry himself is an absolute delight as a main character. By which I mean he just sucks so bad, but in very mundane and endearing ways. Who among us can not relate on some level to a failing middle-aged actor who always made a point of not trading on his family name but is secretly pretty resentful it hasn’t helped him more? He refuses the call to adventure then decides his life’s kind of shit and he’d rather get stabbed to death by goblins, so he comes crawling back and begs for a second chance. He’s left a glowing magic sword that will defeat all enemies, but it’s stuck in the body of one of his kidnappers so he just runs screaming and it spends the rest of the book in an evidence locker somewhere. I love him.

I really have no idea to what degree it was intentional, but it also does rather muse me that – okay, you know the standard bit of feminist media analysis where male characters are the actors, while female characters are generally walking set decoration and plot devices? It really deeply amuses me that Harry spends the better part of the story as a magical blood bank getting led around or terrified and awaiting rescue, whereas Seitchman (our counterfeit PI/folklorist) repeatedly forces herself into things through obsessive research skills and a complete disregard for her own safety (and at one point an enthusiastic if unpracticed willingness to sword people). Though to be clear this was mostly amusing to me because it was absolutely never highlighted or commented upon.

This is probably the first book I’ve read that’s recent enough to be set during lockdown without really being a COVID novel, if that makes sense? You could set this the year before or the year after without really losing much, and it lacks the ‘this was written in quarantine’ vibe of a lot of books I read last year. But it definitely adds a sense of specificity and timeliness to it that I rather enjoyed.

So yeah, do not open it expecting anything like Children of Time, but good book!

#book review #and put away childish things #adrian tchaikovsky #sff #urban fantasy #novella

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 叛逆者/The Rebel.

The Rebel is a 2021 period drama set during the 1930s and '40s as seen (mostly) from Shanghai by a patriotic young man who just keeps getting injured, ow, that poor baby.

It's a fairly realistic spy drama, by which I mean, there's not a bunch of cute costume changes or fun fake identities. Instead, this is a story about people who live entire other lives for years, keeping their true allegiances under wraps, doing what they can to help their side while sweating out what they can’t. It's way more John le Carré than Ian Fleming -- no James Bond flashiness or gizmos, all George Smiley subterfuge and paperwork. Actual spycraft is tough, kids!

Full disclaimer up front: This show is not a happy fun good time. It's a fascinating, gripping, tense piece of work about a thirteen-year period of history where a whole lot of miserable things were happening. The body count is frighteningly high. Be very careful about which characters you get attached to. Exactly one man has plot armor, so God help the rest of them.

However, if you're up for a quality drama with a serious tone that's so full of HISTORY! it's bursting at the seams, I have five reasons you should give this one a shot:

1. Starring the veins in Zhu Yilong's forehead

Do you feel like watching a beautiful man have a terrible day for 43 episodes straight?

This show is absolutely a Zhu Yilong vehicle. The rest of the cast is great (and more on them later), but he's the star -- and the show just loves to beat him up, both emotionally and physically. His character, Lin Nansheng, exists in a Murphy's-Law situation where if anything bad can happen to him, it will. If you like seeing this gorgeous gentleman in distress, this show has you covered.

Someone please care him.

2. Daddy Issues

Chen Moqun is a bad, bad man. He's a bastard in his first scene, and he's a bastard in his last. He is loyal to exactly one thing, and that is his own survival. He will ally with anyone and fuck anyone over if it means he gets to live another day.

He is also scaldingly hot in his bastardry.

Chen Moqun is the spymaster who pulls Lin Nansheng out of the regular military ranks and into the world of the intelligence services, despite Lin Nansheng's lack of experience in the field. This means that Lin Nansheng is Chen Moqun's little golden boy -- and that means Chen Moqun feels justified in making Lin Nansheng do whatever the hell he wants, and in getting all up in Lin Nansheng's business when he doesn't do it perfectly.

I know there are several of you out there whose tails just started wagging. Good, you've got it.

Alas that he is not in nearly as much of the series as his top billing suggests he would be. He's a major figure in the early arcs, but pretty soon after, Circumstances relocate him to somewhere Lin Nansheng isn't -- and because Lin Nansheng is our POV character, Chen Moqun all but vanishes from the show. He reappears later, but as a much less prominent figure. Still a self-serving bastard, though! Don't worry about that.

I like Chen Moqun as a character for a lot of reasons. He's slimy, but he's effective. He's smart, but he's not a supervillain. He's the kind of competent bastard that it's very fun to watch the good guys outwit. He kind of has to leave the narrative, because he's so sharp that much of the plot would be impossible under his supervision; he gets replaced by [spoiler], whose general incompetence makes him dangerous in a very different way, but who is so self-absorbed that he can't see when he's being played. Pulling the wool over Chen Moqun's eyes is a much nastier business.

At the same time, though, he's a coward. He'll sell out anything and anyone to save his own skin. His lack of inner conviction eventually reduces him to something pathetic, leaving him at the mercy of people he once abused, Lin Nansheng included. ...Ah, your tails are wagging harder now, I see.

Now, for those of you who are not into a Bad Daddy dynamic, may I sell you on how Lin Nansheng also has two Good Daddies?

Honestly, if this show had not been laboring under the weight of [gestures to the state of Chinese media and culture], I'm pretty sure they would have made at least one of these two Older Lifelong Bachelors textually gay. I'm just saying, throw-yourself-into-the-cause-style patriotism is a great cover for never marrying and being cagey about your entire personal life.

Also, I know their super-secret espionage meetups on park benches aren't intended to look like dudes cruising, but come on.

3. A startlingly good love story???

And I say "startlingly" because the love story comes in multiple stages, and I haaaaaate the first one. Fortunately, so does the show!

When Lin Nansheng and Zhu Yizhen start off their romance, she's a wealthy college schoolgirl (which comes off as more than a little creepy, since Tong Yao is clearly in her late thirties) and he's a TA at her school -- except she's actually a student activist working for the Communists, and he's a member of the KMT sent to seduce her and infiltrate her cell. It goes exactly as badly as you'd expect! And when it was clear it was over for good, I breathed a sigh of relief. I liked them both as individual characters, but as a romantic pairing, the amount of malicious deception involved really wasn't doing it for me, to say nothing of how I dislike teacher/student as a trope. (Also, they really have no chemistry together, but whatever, I'm used to c-drama hets by now.) Well, I thought, thank goodness all that's over and we'll never have to come back to it!

But here's the thing: They come together again later under different circumstances, and oh, that's some good stuff. She gets a haircut, he gets to be himself, and the two of them have to learn how to work together even when they can't entirely trust one another.

That amount of deception is great, because that's not lies -- it's opsec. They are both withholding colossal amounts of information from one another, and each one of them knows the other's doing it, even if they don't know what information is being withheld. They both want to know what the other person knows, but they also know that person would die before giving up their secrets.

This does lead to a number of points where you're hollering JUST TELL HIM/HER at the screen, which can get a little frustrating. But, like, you get it. They've got reasons for not sharing information, and grim little reason number one is, the bad guys can't torture out of you what you don't know.

This is not a romance drama; this is a drama that happens to have a complicated romance stitched all the way through it. Sometimes it's the main focus, but much of the time it's a side note. The two of them go years at a time without interacting. They each spend a fair amount of time believing the other is dead. When they do get to work together, they're great partners. When they're separated or at odds, they don't collapse.

I said earlier that Lin Nansheng is the POV character, which is mostly true. However, we do get a not-small amount of the story told from Zhu Yizhen's POV when he's not around, which goes a long way toward making her an actual person and not just an accessory to his story -- and that goes a long way toward making this romance something between equals, and not just a case where a nice guy feels real bad about how much he fucked over the girl he liked.

I'd say that if you're looking for a drama where the love story is a central point of interest, or for a drama without any love story at all, you'll be happier elsewhere. However, if you're a Goldilocks who enjoys a fraught love story when it's there but doesn't miss it when it's gone, this may strike a good balance for you!

This pair is also about as much as the show gets in terms of textual, onscreen romance. Howerver, there are also a number of couples in this show who have to pretend to be married, if that's a trope that does it for you. And speaking of those...

4. My Fair Lady

Lan Xinjie turned out to be maybe my favorite character in the show, which surprised the hell out of me, considering how she was introduced as a pretty throwaway character: Oh, look, a pretty and sophisticated woman at the dance hall, she can use her refined and wordly ways to make The Virgin Lin Nansheng sweat, it's great.

But then she comes back. In fact, she keeps exiting the narrative and then showing up again a couple episodes later! Her continued involvement with these spy boys keeps both ruining her life and saving it. Every time you think she's gotten out, circumstances pull her back into Lin Nansheng's catastrophe orbit, making her maybe the most tragic character in a series full of them.

Here's a thing that impressed me about the drama: Lan Xinjie is a sex worker, but the show never shits on her for that. The show presents what she's doing as negative, but mostly because she doesn't particularly enjoy doing it. She keeps doing it, though, because sometimes it's the best way for her to make money, and sometimes it's the only way for her to make money.

The thing is, Lan Xinjie herself never talks about what she's doing like it's some tragic fate. It's a job. She has to play nice with jackass men from all over the world, and she can do it because men fall all over a pretty girl like her. Whenever Lin Nansheng makes a sad face about it, she basically rolls her eyes at him. She has a very solid grasp of the way the world works, and she's going to do what she needs to do to keep herself and her loved ones alive.

Now: Lan Xinjie definitely functions in the narrative as a contrast to how Good and Pure Communist Girl-Next-Door Zhu Yizhen is. Lan Xinjie is a little too much of a Fallen Woman, so she's never going to threaten Zhu Yizhen's position as the main love interest. However, it would have been so easy to go all in on slut-shaming Lan Xinjie to make that contrast even starker, and the show does not do that. It does not judge her for her choices, in part because it understands that women like her very often doesn't have any.

On top of all of this, Zhu Zhu can act her damn face off. There are story beats that could have been melodramatic and unintentionally comic, but she sells them and makes them devastating. Arguably the best scenes in the entire show are when she and Zhu Yilong are working together, because the two of them consistently turn in stellar performances. This show is not exactly a font of subtlety (see my next point), but both of them manage to play their roles with restraint and dignity that make their moments together shine.

I won't spoil where exactly this goes, but to me, the complicated relationship between Lin Nansheng and Lan Xinjie is one of the highlights of the show. It's a lot of guilt and obligation intertwined with genuine affection, and because it can't be The Love Story, it winds up being a very fraught, intimate friendship that lasts through the best and worst parts of both of their lives.

Also, everything she wears is stunning. Marry me, Miss Lan.

5. Makes you feel real smart!

Hey, nerds! Do you like history? Because boy oh boy, is this a show about history!

It's so much a show about history, in fact, that it occasionally has to break into little documentary-style interludes, where you get to watch pictures of actual historical footage while one of the cast members narrates a small summary of what's going on with the geopolitical situation at that moment. Everyone in the main cast is fictional, but there are plenty of real names dropped all over the place. You aren't expected to know everything already, but you're definitely expected to keep up.

I will admit that I don't know the ins and outs of that historical period well enough to fact-check a lot of the particulars, so I can't swear to the accuracy of its various smaller moves. I do know enough about it to know, though, that this story is a little biased.

And by that I mean: This show is propaganda through and through. It’s all about how well the Righteous Communists did in their battle first against the Terrible Japanese, then against the Wicked KMT (the non-Communist Nationalists). Characters give stirring declarations of their principles at a rate of about one every other episode. There’s a whole scene where two dudes sit on a park bench and talk animatedly about what a great and prescient writer Mao was. Be prepared to be serenaded by a number of (what I assume are) stirring Communist anthems.

This all has zero emotional resonance to me. There were several points I could tell it was making references to events and people and speeches that are surely real historical things, but I lack most of the cultural competency that I’d need to recognize them without explanation. The climactic moment of Lin Nansheng’s joining the Communists (this is not a spoiler, you know it’s coming from the get-go) mostly seemed goofy to me, especially with the closed-fist salute that looks like you’re about to punch yourself in the head.

See what I mean?

All of which is to say: The propaganda did not bother me, because I mostly found it abstract and funny. And for heaven's sake, I'm from the US; I learned how to laugh my way through unsubtle pro-government propaganda watching Saturday morning cartoons.

However, I can imagine people closer to these cultures and events having MUCH stronger reactions. If this is you, yeah, be careful.

What's kind of sad (and by sad I mean funny) is how much the blatant Communism! Fuck Yeah! just turns the show into the "How do you do, fellow kids?" of propaganda. If it had just told the story, it honestly would have done a better job of making the Communists seem like the cool underdogs against the overpowering forces of authoritarian jackassery. But when you have someone all but turn to the camera damn near every episode to make sure you, the viewer, know how good and noble and smart its brave communist characters are, it sure spoils the effect.

I honestly don't know enough about the production team to know how accidental or intentional this was. Is it possible the drama is actually subtly lampooning these hyper-patriotic tropes? Sure, maybe! Is it possible that it actually believes this cringe with all its heart? Could be! Is it maybe neutral on matters of personal belief but playing up this version of history to get the show approved by party censors during the 100th anniversary of the founding of the CCP? Ah, yeah, that's the most likely one. Believe what you want about its motivations. Those who are inclined to be moved by its ideologies probably will be. The rest of us, probably the opposite.

All that said: I actually think it's useful and good to hear obviously biased takes on historical events, especially from unfamiliar and non-western perspectives. This is because all takes on historical events are biased, and it's dangerous and stupid to pretend they're not! Looking at how someone tells a story is as instructive as looking at the story they tell. If you go into the Rebel with that in mind, it adds a meta-layer of interest that I (a historian) find fascinating.

Ready to watch, comrade?

This one's an iQiyi exclusive -- and it's not a VIP exclusive, so if you're willing to put up with some ads, you can watch it all for free.

This is a show I'm probably never going to watch all the way through again, on account of how heavy it is. However, it is also a show I'm very glad I watched, because I find myself thinking about it a lot. Even when it's being hokey and jingoistic, it never stops being interesting. It's just a well-made drama that contains multitudes.

And, of course, one of those is this beautiful man's beautiful face.

#the rebel #叛逆者 #lin nansheng #i made this #rec post

[badaziraphaletakes]

Hello!

Omg yes, thanks for bringing that out. The fact that Aziraphale was already aware of the dangers of Heaven as early as Before The Beginning is SO important for the story imo. It really bothers me that ppl's selective memory tends to forget that scene when analysing s2. It feels like they're cherry picking evidence to build a version of Aziraphale that fits their opinion instead of collecting all the data to try and understand his actions.

If you look closely, Before The Beginning and The Final Fifteen are parallels of each other up to some point: in the former, Crowley is saying that he can make a difference ("if I was the one in charge I'd like it if ppl asked questions", "hey boss this is a really terrible idea", "how much trouble can one get into for just asking a few questions") and Aziraphale is saying it's dangerous. In the latter, their roles are reversed, Aziraphale is saying they can make a difference and Crowley saying it's no use bc they're toxic (and it IS dangerous). It's funny bc Aziraphale is agreeing with angel!Crowley now, and Crowley is agreeing with cherub!Aziraphale now (showing once again that aziracrow are one and the same), but they're probably not seeing it.

Aziraphale never had this never-ending belief in Heaven ppl attribute to him (he probably thought that he should have that belief, even pretended to sometimes, but he didn't, his actions show us that he didn't). If anything, angel!Crowley trusted Heaven much more than Azi ever did, bc he was sure nothing bad would happen to him. BUT I also don't think he was naive for that, bc he was trying to make a positive change on things, and that's NEVER a stupid thing to do. He also didn't believe Heaven was always right just bc it's Heaven (his questions are evidence of that), even if he trusted them. For characters like Aziraphale and Crowley, in a situation like theirs, we must look at what they do, not at what they say.

Yes, it also bothers me that some ppl think he's always wanted to go back when in s1 we've seen that he was miserable when he was there, and not wanting to go back to Heaven was the reason for him to help stop Armageddon!! It makes no narrative sense. AND he said it in no uncertain terms "I don't want to go back to Heaven." He said it to the Metatron, but he was retelling this conversation to Crowley, so he said that in front of Crowley, with his own mouth. Crowley knows.

As for not loving Crowley as a demon, I absolutely agree with you and it's all part of the last thing you write about and I think it's an absolutely on point badass take, and it's:

You are SO DAMN RIGHT about this and it grinds my gears. We are supposed to analyse The Final Fifteen using the whole context of the story we got in the previous eleven and a half episodes! We're not meant to re-contextualise the rest of the show bc of The Final Fifteen? That makes no sense in this story?? Especially bc The Final Fifteen is full of biases. Us being heartbroken, the characters being triggered and emotional, the storytelling trying to hide stuff from us, the fact that they were threatened... There are Clues there, I'm sure, but we have to know the whole context of their relationship to understand them.

It's like trying to analyse your whole self when you're having a panic attack. It's not an accurate depiction of who you are. Analysing a couple using only one of their fights and erasing all of their good moments bc of it is pretty fucking dishonest to them.

Thanks so much for your take, I really, really loved your last paragraph and be sure I'll use it again to comment on other takes here 😁😁😁

#mod M😇 #asks #badaziraphaletakes answers asks #before the beginning #badassaziraphaletakes #the final fifteen #goodomens #good omens

[pagannatural]

2.12 Night Shifter

-Although Dean is impersonating an FBI officer when the jewelry counter girl asks him what it’s like, his answer is a truthful description of his life: “it’s dangerous, and the secrets we gotta keep…but mostly it’s lonely.” This wouldn’t be anything wincest except that he looks guiltily over at Sam twice while getting her number. The theme of loneliness between them and the brothers’ yearning for closeness from each other has come up several times this season, most obviously from Sam needing Dean to open up to him. But Dean is feeling it too. Sam was hanging off of him drunk last episode and Dean walked away from him so it makes sense that he’s trying to get someone else in his bed, and clearly thinking about Sam while he does it.

-Sam lies to Ronald. In the past he’s been the one who wants to tell civs the truth, while Dean lies. Dean’s instincts appear to be right here, and Sam’s sour impression with Ronald becomes an obstacle moving forward in this episode. It serves to highlight that Sam is still just not as experienced at this. They’re both really good with people and have high interpersonal intelligence, just in different ways.

-Dean feels “naked” without weapons. He’s been living in fear since he was four so that makes sense but it’s so bleak.

-Dean takes control of the situation with Ronald and Sam looks scared for him, then miserable when he’s locked in the vault and separated from Dean.

One of the bank employees asks “who is that man?” and Sam says “he’s my brother” as if that answers her question even a little bit. She wistfully says he’s brave and Sam looks even more miserable. He’s so sick of women fawning over his brother.

-a second scene of this woman fawning over Dean at Sam! I could watch this all day. Sam becomes increasingly perturbed with each passing moment. Listening to someone wax on about the person you’re secretly and wretchedly in love with but can’t have is terrible but especially when it’s someone who doesn’t even know them. He looks like he’s holding back on an emotion. Sam could just be irritated by the way Dean is overshadowing him, but I would expect him to respond by rolling his eyes or looking irritated rather than conflicted and sad.

Sam looks up to Dean. He doesn’t admit it until later on in the series, but Dean is his hero. His hero and guardian and brother and the only one who can kill him.

-Sam bumps his shoulder against Dean’s on his way out of the bank vault. He didn’t need to do that, there was space. People like to accidentally touch their crushes. And right in front of the fawning woman, like a cat rubbing its cheeks against its human’s legs to mark him.

-Sam points out that Dean is wanted by the police and is visibly upset. I love that Sam is the one panicking about this. Dean is too but he’s trying to be brave and save face for Sam.

-oh this is where they walk up to each other like they’re going to kiss. They’re making eye contact as they get really close and Sam kind of half circles Dean, looking into his eyes. It has the same vibes as the scene from Silver Linings Playbook where the love interest is teaching the main character a dance and instructs him on how to walk to her like he’s in love with her. You can see Dean moving his lips telling Sam he knows who the shifter is, but no sound, making this moment feel even more private

-the way Hendrickson says “there’s a monster in the bank” and then it cuts to Sam gives me chills

-Hendrickson mentioning that Sam is “the bonnie to your Clyde” makes Dean smirk. Sam is his wife. “That part’s true”. They could’ve said the butch cassidy to your Sundance or something but they went with a romantic couple and had Dean smile like aw yeah, that’s us, like he’s still so happy to have his baby back with him on the road.

-“they’re dangerous, smart, and expertly trained” god they really ARE. This show really earns their reputation.

-Dean is mid-action bringing a knife down on what he thinks is the shifter when Sam says in a near-whisper “Dean waitwaitwait”and Dean pauses to look over his shoulder. He’ll do anything Sam says. Sam’s gentle protest is more important than killing the shifter.

-Sam fights the swat team duo and wins. They escape and drive away knowing that they’re fucked and being hunted by the FBI. Their ascension from petty criminals to most wanted outlaws is so good because they are dangerous and fucked up and doomed and yet they’re together. I also love that Sam solved Dean’s problem by getting the uniforms and gear off of the two SWAT guys. He’s protective of Dean.

#samdean #wincest #supernatural #spn 2x12 #supernatural meta #sam and dean

[thestobingirlie]

interesting thoughts about steve re: the triangle and being the boy that helps nancy relax. i agree completely.

for me, as someone who was very much into stoncy and now leans more stancy (they are so cute holy shit), i have always been fascinated with the similarities and differences between steve and jonathan.

it is so clear to me, that jonathan could never truly take care of her in the way she needs, not on his own. not as a husband (in the future). nancy is very much the caretaker in that relationship, and natalia said so herself. i do love jonathan, and he is a strong caretaker for will and joyce obviously, but when it comes to nancy—he is unfortunately a burden to her in a way that steve will never ever be *or* even let himself be. jonathan has so much emotional baggage. its heartbreaking of course but its baggage that he makes no effort to tame or heal (besides smoking i guess), and i would argue he is absolutely selfish for fostering a committed relationship with nancy and expecting her to deal with that on top of her own issues. (i do get though that teenagers are selfish naturally.) but he knows he isn’t ready to support a girlfriend, he knows that. he also has to know how much heartbreak the inevitable end of his relationship will cost her, especially since she began her relationship with him in what was arguably the most depressed point in her life in the second season. jonathan, god bless him, is self-pitying but not proactive (see: following around your girlfriend with your tail between your legs like a wet sad dog wordlessly begging its owner for food) (but hes my wet sad dog). he is her perpetually passive accomplice and while that may be appealing to nancy when she’s in tunnel vision mode, even she is shown to be resentful of his inability to step up for her. he is malewife in the absolute worse way (i promise i love you jonathan).

then let’s think about nancy’s other dumbass malewife. steve is absolutely her caretaker, and let’s be real that is what she needs, whether or not she knows it (she does deep down). i dont mean that in a “nancy can’t take care of herself” way but in a “he wants her to have fun” way! he’s got to have a ton of shit haunting his dreams at night but like ken in barbie (lmao), does not let her see his pain. he is so selfless, always making sure he can be a light presence for her, a calm easy presence. jonathan doesn’t do that. jonathan doesn’t know how to take control of a “nancy wheeler is so deep into this truth journey she might get herself killed” situation—i see the (bad) “feminist” take often that steve holds her back and jonathan supports her but that is such watered down feminism. nancy is a badass but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t put herself into danger (she does.) and jonathan isn’t a feminist hero for supporting her dangerous endeavors (though ofc most of her endeavors save everyone’s ass).

any way: essay complete. i just really am falling deeper and deeper in love with stancy because i realize that nancy, as my favorite character, needs taking care of! like noooo one takes good care of her! let her bejeweled (taylor swift ref lmfao)!

i think what it comes down to for me, is that jonathan’s priority will always be will, and nancy deserves someone who will prioritise her.

jonathan’s gone through a lot of abuse, he’s been majorly parentified. he doesn’t put his own happiness first, and i think as a result, he doesn’t put nancy’s first. he thinks they’ll both be miserable and hate each other and their kids in the future, but he’s still with her. because that’s what you’re “supposed to do”. and i really, really don’t see him working through that anytime soon. especially not if he’s still in a relationship with nancy.

but steve. he makes her laugh! even in terrible times. we see this calming and happy effect that he has on her in s4. he tries. even if it wasn’t enough when nancy was deep in her grief. he was trying.

like you said, nancy deserves to be swept off her feet and romanced. for someone to want to take care of her. for someone to want a future together, instead of resent one.

i think it’s insane to say it’s anti-feminist to ever question a woman lmao. steve wants nancy to be safe, that means he doesn’t always like her plans. her plans often put herself and others in danger because she gets all in her head. i think she needs someone to stand up, and lay out what might be wrong with the plan. to go toe to toe with her.

(and the irony of people criticising steve for not immediately liking nancy’s plan in s4 when that plan did not work lmao. two people died. and neither of them was vecna.)

obviously all three of them are imperfect. they’re teenagers! they’ll fuck up and do harsh things. but what matters is that they care about each other. steve cares about nancy, so he laid out his feelings, and stepped back. jonathan cares about nancy, and he kept secrets, didn’t explain to her what he was feeling, and allowed this… resentment almost, to fester. he’s an avoider! it doesn’t mean he’s a terrible person, but it does mean he shouldn’t be in a relationship.

#steve harrington #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #stancy #anti jancy #stranger things #asks #anon

[wordsandrobots]

I just don't get it.

I've been dwelling all day on the times I've seen someone claim/state that the characterisation in Iron-Blooded Orphans Season 2 is inconsistent with Season 1 and I still can't understand how people get to that conclusion. Clearly they do. But everything about S2 reads to me as a really straightforward acceleration of the flaws established in S1, and we know from the writing side, the intention was always to have this end in tragedy, even if the timescale changed. (Which, to be clear, is something I think was entirely to the show's benefit, allowing for a midway 'hope spot' where everything works out by the skin of its teeth, driving everyone to greater levels of reckless confidence.)

Most of the major personality rug-pulls happen by the time we hit the build-up to the climax of S1. We go from seeing Orga in his element -- the charismatic, clever military leader taking control of a miserable situation for the sake of his comrades -- to seeing what he's like in the wider world -- winging it, latching on to new ideas like a limpet, chasing the biggest rewards as fast as he can -- to seeing what's underneath it -- his awe/fear of Mika, his inability to do what's smart in the face of what his friends want, and the way he crumbles under the weight of casualties before stubbornly keeping onwards in an effort to turn the loss into a meaningful sacrifice. There is a straight line from the Dort Colonies where Orga gets pressured into becoming involved, to the point everyone insists on going after Jasley, to what happens in the middle of the battle with the Arianrhod Fleet. It's practically the same scene three times over with the desperation on Orga's face dialled up each time.

Same for the others. Despite his light-hearted presentation, Shino is deeply affected by his friends' deaths and commits himself to fighting so they don't have to, ego driving him to do reckless shit that doesn't quite work. Gaelio is a prideful dick who, while he has various good instincts, ultimately acts based on his emotional reactions alone. Hell, Mikazuki is literally introduced firing a gun that knocks him clean off his feet, his body too frail to withstand the violence he's committing on behalf of Orga, who watches with a mix of terror and amazement, that morphs into a teeth-clenched determination to keep going -- because what else do you do when faced with *that* level of devotion at your command?

McGillis is the only one where I can kind of grasp why it would seem inconsistent, because the reveals about the exact shape of his past are left to the back half of S2, and the twist that he was rooting his entire world-view in childish mythology is (deliberately) dissonant with his ruthless manipulation of the rest of the cast. But, like -- he treats Tekkadan as this amazing, miraculous event from the word go. He is heavily invested in imagery (around them, around Kudelia, around the Gundams) and waffles on endlessly about the Calamity War. His wearing of a mask is explicitly framed as playing dress-up, in which he takes a giddy delight. The revelations set all this in a new light, sure. They're hardly inconsistent with it. Not in a show chock full of people caught up in their own ideas about other people and what a better world would mean.

My point is, Iron-Blooded Orphans is about messed-up people in shitty situations making actively terrible life choices because they're trapped inside the event horizons of their own trauma. It is about everyone crushed by indifferent systems of power, shouting loud and proud that they are human beings with hopes and dreams and loves and fears, and smashing them to pieces regardless because that is what *happens* in an unjust world. It runs on its characters' flaws, like any good tragedy, on their flawed reactions to the very real problems they struggle against. Season 2 is an escalating series of runaway trains, each crisis shaping the reaction to the next in worse and worse ways. I could spend ages breaking down how it goes from Tekkadan at the peak of its ability to brazen through problems on sheer guts, to their strength actively working against them even when they are saving the world with it, to where it ends, a tragic, bittersweet peace that, as cynically as it could be read, still contains small triumphs.

At no point does it seem to me to be anything less than extremely clear and consistent about what it is saying. I've had people comment on my fic saying I've fixed the characterisation for them, and I have to state openly, that is not what I thought I was doing! I'm just taking what I saw in the series and extrapolating from it. There *are* parts where I've added stuff, to fill in the gaps you need to when you're making secondary characters into leads. But I know which bits I made up whole-cloth and, well, maybe I'm fooling myself but I don't think I ever had to introduce something to explain anyone's actions in the series itself.

Anyway, sorry for waffling on so long. Please don't take this as me calling anyone daft for where they landed on IBO, it's just that these reactions always make me twitch and wonder if I've hallucinated something over a gap somewhere. Then I go back to all the times Orga rides rough-shod over Biscuit's good advice and -- no! No, the text very firmly set up why this all goes horribly wrong and pays off each and every point like the world's most appalling check-list! You are 100% free to not enjoy that, but it's clearly working as intended

#gundam ibo #gundam iron blooded orphans #g tekketsu #tekketsu no orphans #I am the furthest thing from an unbiased source on this show #I love it so much #but I have also spent two and a half years picking it to component parts #it really is an incredibly solid piece of #*here's why X is doing Y even though Z is right there* #and I admire that a lot on a technical level #spoilers #more rambling

[hana-no-seiiki]

お客様は神様　(THE GUEST IS GOD)

HOST CLUB PREPARATIONS / PROLOGUE - 女中 [THE MAID]

YANDERE GUEST X GENDER NEUTRAL! HOST CLUB WORKER! READER X (IMPLIED) YANDERE/YANGIRE BOSS + COWORKERS

waiver: the place is set in “japan” ,characters speak in japanese, so if you don’t like honorifics or terms (e.g. senpai, san, sama) then uh yeah. this doesn’t mean your character has to be japanese though! i’ve added a lot of “foreigner”characters so it wouldn’t be weird for you to be one as well.

mc is a total bitch and a half. like an absolute asshole.

sexual harassment, sexual assault, yandere guest gropes your everywhere and forces you to grope him, violence.

Reminder that the Guest is God Host Club isn’t responsible for any injuries and/or deaths that happen. please take proper precautions, honorable guests!

host description: drunk out of his mind, your apparent “ex” starts harassing you in the host club you happen to be serving in.

and as much as you’d love to punch him into oblivion, it is imperative you show him as good time.

the guest of this place is god after all.

host status: unedited, will add images later on.

more about the host: THIS IS AN INTRODUCTORY POST TO MY OCS AND MY WEBTOON CONCEPTS. Final OC designs might be incredibly different in the webtoon itself.

although reader may be called a maid, they aren’t explicitly fem. they will be using gender neutral pronouns.

MINORS / PEOPLE WITH NO IDS (AGELESS BLOGS) AREN’T ALLOWED TO ENTER.

If you’d like to be updated for when we next open, please reply to this post to be subscribed to our taglist!

YOU WERE AWFULLY FORTUNATE WHEN IT CAME TO FINANCIAL MATTERS. You had rich benefactors (whoever they were) and enough money to live several lifetimes in comfort. Despite not knowing where all this wealth came from, you learnt to just be content with your ignorance. It wasn’t as if it was threatening your life, and the stream of money was always consistent in terms of amount and the dates it came in.

But that is exactly why you found yourself in this situation.

It started from one of your days lounging at your extravagant penthouse apartment. With nothing to do but play games and throw money at fictional characters, and escorts. You were fine with your lavish yet miserably lonely lifestyle. So, it was safe to say you were surprised to have suddenly received an envelop on your doorstep.

It was red with shiny accents of spider lilies. You open it to see a letter (what a suprise!). It seemed handwritten, judging from the slight differences some letters appeared but still high quality none the less.

You’ve watched enough survival games to know where this was going.

And sure enough, you were forced into a job as someone that serves and accommodates guests.

These guest varied from people you’ve never even met before, to friends and even people you loathed.

Like the one you’re facing right now.

You weren’t supposed to accommodate this guest at all, in fact, you were already done with your shift. But as you were unzipping the maid costume you were forced to wear during workdays, you hear timid voice from behind you.

“U-uhm…[L/N]-先輩…”

Hazu, a tall but extremely shy co-worker of yours called your name.

His costume was completely different from yours. Sporting a suit with fetish-wear straps that accentuated his long legs, and a pair of short whore gloves, Hazu was forced by your employer to play the “Dom/Sadist” archetype.

And, like you in the beginning, was terrible at it.

“Let me guess, your guest is a hard sub and you’re having trouble keeping up?”

“N-no. I think they were mi-mis-categorized!” Hazu made fists and shook them in air in frustration. What a cutie. “I mean, seriously! He seems more like a sadist! He kept insulting my height! I’m just a little above average d-damn it!”

You placed a hand on his hair. Soft, and fluffy brown, you always tried to make an excuse to touch it before. But nowadays you just touched it whenever you two had overlapping shifts. Which happened to be most days, lucky you.

“Your 先輩 will take care of it then.” Hazu melts under your touch. You always managed to disintegrate any and all anxieties he faced. It was miraculous really. He’d always been a nervous person. But the way you almost parented him, checked on him every step of his journey towards graduation, provided him with his favorite food just so he gains that extra bit of comfortability… you…you were just perfect in every way.

If only he knew the side of you that comes out after shifts.

“If he tries to hurt you…”

“If he tries hurting me our boss and/or bodyguard will deal with it. Don’t worry too much okay? Take care.”

And you left, not bothering to wait for a response. You wanted this night to be done and dealt with. You had hobbies to get to, and your darling spouse (that is your bed) to greet when you came home.

You sighed as you left the staff room.

“Useless piece of shit.”

“お客様—“

“[Y/N]? Hah! It is you!” The man, Hazu’s ex guest, yelled into your ear. His breath reeked of alcohol.

And you had no recollection of ever meeting him.

He had white hair, shaved at the sides, and green eyes that reminded you of pine trees. Piercings on his ears, nose and below his lips. He wore jewelry all over his hands and a collar.

With your name on it.

Shit.

“What, yer family’s money finally gone down the drain?” His hands moved to grope every part of your body. It was that moment when you realized he might not be the delusional asshole you pegged him to be.

He knew just the places you were sensitive in. His hands felt so familiar,

yet so wrong at the same time.

“Nah it couldn’t have been, shit like that is impossible to lose easily.”

He was right. Even if you tried to blow away all the money you held it was almost impossible to go into debt. Any time you went past your budget and checked, it would have been already been paid by your anonymous benefactor.

You wondered if they knew the situation you were in, and why the hell they haven’t done anything to save you yet.

You eventually broke out of the man’s hold, it wasn’t hard considering he was drunk. “お客様, kindly move aside so that this lowly servant may be able to clean your seat.”

“You’re doing this for some weird fetish aren’t you? Just like how-“ He gagged, and you were about to bolt in case he threw up again but thankfully he didn’t, “Just like how you used me *hic* so that you’d be the most popular or whatever.”

He pulled you closer again. In a few moments, you found him atop the mess he made earlier and you above his lap. You took a deep breath and prayed to everything that is holy for him to not barf on you or your uniform touching whatever it is he vomited on the couch.

But he only stared at you. Your features. Traced every part with a soft look on his face that you wanted oh so dearly to rip off of him for some reason.

Scratch that, you did have a specific reason and that was his hard-on that you can feel poking your ass.

“お客様—“

“Fuck, I’m hard.”

Yeah, you could tell.

“[Y/N]. You feel this right?”

‘Yes.’ You glared at him, biting your lip to ensure you didn’t say anything that would go on record and make your boss go nuts again for going out of character. Whoever this man was, he was definitely lucky he found you in uniform. In any other place or situation you would have definitely destroyed his family jewels at this point.

“I fucked *hic* so many whores but none of them where like *hic* you.”

‘Fucking horndog.’

“Hey, [Y/N]. Let’s get back together, alright? I miss you baby. I know you miss me too.”

He leaned forward and your lips almost touched if it weren’t for metallic claws ripping him away from you.

His mangled body, though still alive, would definitely have to go through several months in the hospital if not a whole year to recover. His blood mixed with the filth that covered the floor and furniture.

‘Finally.’ You adjusted your uniform and began sanitizing everything.

“Excellent show of self control, Mx. [L/N].” You heard clapping behind you.

“It is all thanks to you, sir Melchior.” You stood up and immediately gave him a 90 degree bow. Your tools hidden behind you.

“Oh, you flatterer!” His golden eyes shone even under the dim lighting.

Although Aurum Melchior, your boss, was old enough to be your grandfather at this point. The years adored him. He looked breathtakingly handsome for a man whose silver hair overtook his blond ones ages ago.

He wore a dark grey suit, with a long fur coat on his shoulders. The threatening grin on his face never left him whenever he faced your form.

“But it seems that I’m who’d like this fool gone. You know, murder is quite a big sentence to deal with . . .”

“Oh but is it really murder if there are no witnesses?”

“Touché.” The cane he always brought around despite being able to walk properly poked and prodded at your guest’s unconscious face. “Bear. Get rid of the drunkard.”

A woman with a bear mask behind him nodded, carrying the body and quickly making an exit. How she did so with those sharp claws, you never knew nor did you ever want to. Ursa wasn’t really much of a talker anyways.

Besides, you preferred her silent yet efficient attitude in comparison to blabbering messes most of your co-workers are. Seriously, the amount of times you had to comfort Hazu was uncountable. You could unconsciously feel the tears and snot running down your shoulders. Why couldn’t he just get a move on and get with the persona given to him already?

“Au revoir, Mx. [L/N]. There are still many shifts until your graduation.”

“Have a pleasant night, boss.”

“Have a pleasant night.”

THANK YOU FOR VISITING THE GUEST IS GOD HOST CLUB!

Have these, free of service!

先輩 - senpai - senior (work/school)

お客様 - okyakusama - honorable guest/visitor

If you’d like to be updated for when we next open, please reply to this post to be subscribed to our taglist!

[opening schedules] [next opening]

If you’d like to be updated for when we next open, please reply to this post to be subscribed to our taglist !

If you’d like to be updated for when we next open, please reply to this post to be subscribed!

We hope to see you soon.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere ocs x reader #yandere ocs #yandere imagines #yandere oc imagines #yandere harem #yandere reverse harem #female yandere #male yanderes #fem yandere #yandere original character #yandere original characters #yandere oc fic #yandere fic #yandere fiction #x reader #yandere original character fic #yandere various oc #yandere various ocs #yandere oc harem #yandere various ocs x reader #various yandere #harem yandere #harem x reader #various x reader #yandere blurbs #yandere harem scenario #yandere scenarios #yandere blurb

[enassbraid]

i see that angst post, ask and you shall receive

it's a bit more character than reader centric, but what about akito/ena spilling their guts about how their father is?

Wounds That Last & Last

Featuring Akito Shinonome and Ena Shinonome

Anon ily for this thank you, I hope you like this though sorry it’s not as angsty as you or I hoped it’d be, i was in too much of a good mood…

Cw) cursinggg, papa shinonome we no likey papa shinonome in this, akito’s was kinda self projected tbh

Akito Shinonome

You couldn’t say you were too surprised when Akito showed up in your house without much warning, he does it too far often for whatever reason. But what you thought was going to be a relaxing meeting quickly burnt out in your head as your boyfriend started spewing out a string of curses.

“I fucking hate him, holy shit. I fucking hate him so much- he’s such-“

Akito was shaking with anger and was unknowingly pulling at his hair, you felt terrible for cutting him off while he ranted but he needed to take a breath. He seriously looked like he was ready to fight whoever he was talking about.

“Akito, breath, I’ll get you water… who are you talking about and do you need to stay the night over here?”

“Yes- fuck… my dad, my fucking dad. I can’t stay in that shit hole of a house with that bastard.”

He gulped down the water the second you placed it in front of him, Akito looked really out of it. You weren’t sure if he was okay with physical contact right now, not knowing exactly what situation he just left.

A moment of silence hung over the two of you as Akito was still trying to calm himself down from his anger; not wanting to take it out on you or for you to feel like it’s targeted at you.

“(Name), I can’t go home- I can’t. He’s gonna tell me the same things everyone else tells me, I don’t wanna hear it from my dad… I don’t wanna give up music.”

Although he was giving you the pieces out of order and context, you were slowly started to piece the story together in your head. Akito’s dad must of commented on his music, and clearly it wasn’t a good comment. And Akito must have fired back, leading to a fight. You didn’t wanna ask if it got physical or if Ena got involved, but you had a feeling one of the two did if Akito is this pissed.

“I’m gonna go up to your room, I just need to lay down and be with you. I feel like I’m about to break and I fucking hate it.”

You didn’t muster up any words yet, only following him up to your room where he flopped himself on the bed. The poor boy looked exhausted and drained.

“Akito, you know how much I love you right?”

“Mhm.. I know..”

“You can stay here as long as you need, I won’t leave you alone. As long as you need to get away from your father, my house and room is always open to you. And even if you just wanna stop by- of course.”

Although his faces was buried in the mattress and pillows, Akito was blushing like an idiot and for a moment he forgot all about the fight. As long as he had you by him, he knew things would be ok.

“(Name), get over here, you know I can hardly sleep without you..”

Even in all his anger and sorrow, Akito can’t help but see you as his sun. The miserable clouds in his head getting shined through when your around. And though he can’t say it out loud, he hopes the way he hold you tight against him says it for him.

Ena Shinonome

Ena isn’t fond of talking about her struggles, let alone her relationship with her father. So when she comes knocking on your door with tear stained cheeks, you knew it had to have been bad.

She practically collapsed into you when you allow her to enter your house, breaking down into a fit of tears and choked sobs. You didn’t move, only placing your arms around Ena while giving her a soft “Shhhhh.” She didn’t want to move nor leave, wanting to get as far away from her father and struggles as she possibly could.

Her cries quieted down and her sobs became less frequent, making you feel more comfortable with guiding her towards your room. You knew better than to ask her too talk about her problems, so you silently waited while keeping your arms around her until she was ready to speak up.

“My dad- my dad- I hate him (Name), I can’t fucking stand it when he’s there!”

Ena’s breath started to pick up as her eyes started watering again, you squeezed her hand gently and didn’t pry if she didn’t want to continue talking. You just hoped your presence and physical comfort was helping her.

“I was painting something- I really liked it actually..! it was a human heart growing flowers with an eye in the middle, I thought it would be something my dad wouldn’t comment on, since it’s ‘real art’ in his eyes. But he- he told me to give up on it- and to just throw it out. He pointed out every last thing that was wrong with it until I couldn’t even see the good parts of the painting. And he had the fucking audacity to tell me I was too sensitive and if I couldn’t take ‘constructive criticism’ I should just give up!”

She felt herself start to crumble again, too tired to cry but not tired enough to close her eyes. All Ena could do was cling onto you for any sort of security and comfort, what you always gave her just by being there. You softly rubbed her back and held her hand, an act to help calm her down and relax her.

“Ena… I think your art is beautiful, it always feels like a blessing to my eyes whenever you show me a sketch or finished piece. He’s too harsh on you sweetheart, because what I and anyone else see in your paintings is perfection. Do you wanna stay the night to avoid him?”

“I’d like that, a lot. I don’t wanna go back..”

“And that’s okay.”

Ena found comfort on your mattress and under your comforter, the same comfort she always finds with you. It was something that made her life feel less worthless and more bright. She may not say it out loud, but it’s only with you that she can feel this sort of happiness.

Without realizing, she clung to you in her sleep as she washed today’s sorrows out of her mind.

#project sekai #prsk #pjsk #project sekai x reader #prsk x reader #akito shinonome #akito shinonome x reader #akito #akito x reader #ena shinonome #ena shinonome x reader #ena #ena x reader #shinonome siblings #akito angst #ena angst #angst #dor writes

[hoshipills]

Double-crosser- Part 3

Wicked plans

" I wish we never met."

Pairing: Mafialeader!mingyu x Fem!reader

Warnings: MCD( Main character death, weapons, mentions of gunshots, profanity, let me know if more.

Genre: mafia, angst

Word count: 2k

Synopsis:The sudden news of information leak of a secret mission leaves all the members of mafia perplexed. They closed their eyes and the next second, their leader was arrested. Someone betrayed and the taste of betrayal wasn't sweet.

Note: Not proofread yet so sorry. And guys, I wondering if I should put the warning about MCD in the teaser or Masterlist or will it be a spolier?

Masterlist

|Previous| |next|

The door of the black room opened, almost so quietly that it wasn't even audible. Somehow, that sound waked up Mingyu who was sleeping. Truthfully, he was just closing his eyes. Ever since the arrest happened, he haven't slept.

" Get ready.", Y/n's voice was sharp. It had taken away all the drowsiness in Mingyu. He got up and walked closer to her.

" You and the boys will get shifted to affliction rooms.", She said dryly. Mingyu left a chuckle, surprising her. His face was stoic as he moved it closer to her, their noses almost touching.

" Affliction room? To torture us?", he licked his lips.

"What's more of a torture than knowing that the person you love is the reason for your suffering?", Mingyu calmly stated while his eyes were boring through her figure. He swore to God that he saw her face twitch but decided to assume that it was his imagination.

" Speak something. Got no words to reply?", Mingyu said. Y/n stiffened a smile. Mingyu hated that it reminded him of the same smile she showed him when they first met. The forced smile she tried to give but couldn't.

"I just came to say that you'll be transferred to affliction rooms. Not to deal with your bullshit." Mingyu looked away after hearing her words. He wondered if she really felt nothing at that moment. He tried to search for some emotion on her face but failed.

Is she even human?

He scoffed upon seeing her turn away from him and walk towards the door.

" Bullshit?", He said, making her stop.

" This is bullshit for you?", his voice now displayed nothing but pure agony.

"I have no idea how this situation is making you feel but in my case, it's making me hate you.", he finally spit those words. " you know what? I never thought there would come a day when I'll say this to you.", He gulped the lump in his throat.

" I wish we never met."

Y/n's back was facing Mingyu, still he could sense her body stiffening at his words. Mingyu hoped it was because of his words. She resumed her movements, walking towards the door.

"She has always been good at this.", he mumbled to himself, making sure she didn't hear him.

Y/n exited the room, her face not visible to Mingyu all the while.

He heard the door getting locked and the keys jingling faded away second by second.

She has a business to warn all the members about this, right? Mingyu stared at the closed door for few minutes before going back to the corner of the room. He slid his body on the wall to fall down and sit against it.

He pretended that he wasn't effected by the news but he was. Affliction rooms were the rooms for the most notorious criminals. They would be tortured, repaying for the sins they have committed. Some would call it hell on Earth.

He was worried, he was worried about the boys. He didn't know what they were doing in the other rooms. They must be feeling as miserable as him.

He felt terrible.

He shook his head trying to clear his mind for a while. On the positive note, they will finally get to see light, he tried to think.

The hopes about the not-arrested members saving them still remained in his heart. He knew his team. They would save him and the others.

--

The whole atmosphere of the hideout was filled with silent chaos. There wasn't a single sound but everything was all over the place. There was hastiness in the room but it was in absolute quietness.

Hansol and Chan were sitting side by side, trying to break into the security system of ICS. Their fingers worked on the keys of the keyboard vigorously as their eyes focused on the screen Infront of them.

Wonwoo settled beside Minghao and Jeonghan who were sitting in the corner, carefully examining the layout of The black room prison.

When the members got arrested, they made an assumption that they would be taken to the Black room prison. They were right. Thanks to Jihoon and his information finding skills.

Even then, Jihoon was still sitting in his usual spot, eyes glued to his laptop. God knew what the laptop held. He seemed to find anything with that.

Chan's eyes glowed up suddenly. His fingers stopped their movement and closed into fist. He smirked, lifting his hands.

This made Hansol look into Chan's computer briefly. Hansol stopped his actions and bought the attention to them." He did it, guys."

There it was, Lee Chan managed to crack his way into the system. He could see all the files lined up. He quickly checked all of them while the others waited for him to find something useful. Chan's smirk suddenly dropped, followed by Hansol groaning in frustration. Chan cleared his throat, ready to shock the members with his words.

" The boys are getting shifted to affliction rooms tomorrow.", He said. A few disappointed sighs were heard. Most of them thought it was over. However, the planners had a different idea.

" Its a great opportunity for us to get them out.", Jeonghan spoke. Minghao nodded, agreeing with him.

" Don't be ridiculous", Wonwoo said, shaking his head.

" While they are on their way to the affliction rooms, we can get them out pretty easily.", Jeonghan said as he went near Chan and Hansol.

" Tomorrow is a special day, President is coming to the town. The security will be focused on him. Sure, Mingyu will have security for obvious reasons but the security will be easier to tackle compared to that of The Black room prison." , Jeonghan said in one go.

Everyone still looked hesitant, wondering if it's good to go. One wrong move, all of them will be in hell. They can't fuck up the last chance they have.

Its a do or die situation.

Jeonghan seemed confident that it will work. He also mentioned how it's their last chance and once they reach affliction rooms, it'll be harder to get them out.

Yeah, they could get caught but suffering together sounds better than not even trying to save them. Just when the others were about to leave comments, Minghao got up and started to set things for the plan. All of them fixed their eyes on him.

" What are you looking at? We have no better option."

--

Mingyu was brought to the vehicle with his figure surrounded by bodyguards.

By the time he was near, he saw his members there. They were just like how he expected. They looked worn out. Their faces narrowed and their muscles didn't look defined anymore.

Mingyu doubted if they even ate anything the past few days. At the same he had no right to ask them when he himself didn't care about food for a long time. His profile reflected the pain he felt. That explained the worried expression on the members' faces as they saw him. They got in the vehicle and started driving to the affliction rooms.

They passed an ungodly number of gates and security passes, making them realize how well built and safe this place was.

The vehicle finally reached the roads which were empty. They saw a poster, the information of president coming to town written on it.

Bang.

The sound of the gunshot emerged out of nowhere, they noticed that the car Infront of them was shot in the wheel. It flew in the air and dropped on the road, its roof hitting the ground.

The vehicle they were sitting in abruptly stopped. The officers in it got down while the members tilted their faces to look around.

It must be them.

Before the officers could do anything, the place was filled with smoke.

Nothing was visible except for the light figures the members saw. They could see Wonwoo coming forward, with some guards behind him, while his hands held a gun.

The members were finally out of it.

--

Mingyu entered the meeting room, his figure more confident than the previous time they saw him. He seemed to be fully recovered from the past betrayal and his face was a proof of it. Nevertheless, the need to take revenge still didn't leave him.

That was the reason why this meeting was being held. It has been almost 6 months since the grand escape. They could find no trace of Y/n or her dear friend, Yangyang.

They have been waiting for a right chance to get hold of her and believed it was finally the time. They can't go against such a big organization like ICS, though they might have the enough power to do so.

Well, they had to develop it.

The security to the number of guards, everything has increased after the incident, everyone got more cautious and private.

He sat on his chair, the 12 others waited for him to speak. " We all know the reason for this conference-"

His words were interrupted by the door opening harshly, revealing a guard, trying to catch is breath.

Mingyu was ready to erupt in front of the guard but stopped when some words left his mouth." Someone from ICS came to meet you, boss. He is currently surrounded by around 30 of our people. We are waiting for your orders."

Mingyu's pupils dilated, wondering who took the risk to visit such a dangerous place. He looked around at the members, finding them with the same expression as him. " Get him here."

Mingyu tapped his fingers on the table as he waited for the guards to bring the supposed member of ICS. If a ICS member took such a risk, it either must be something important or a threat. If ICS really planned to attack, it would have been done by now, he couldn't see a reason why they would use a member of theirs as a bait.

As the door opened, they found a familiar person entering the room.

It was Yangyang.

Except he didn't have his annoyingly large grin plastered on his face, neither he had the enthusiasm in his eyes. He wasn't the same Yangyang the members encountered 6 months ago.

Mingyu ran his fingers through his hair, slowly getting frustrated.

"Yangyang?", Seokmin whispered, not expecting to see him.

Even the members who weren't arrested knew about him, they immediately recognized his name as Seokmin spoke.

Yangyang showed them a little smile as he said, " I have to talk to you."

Mingyu got up from his chair and made his way towards him. The guards around Yangyang moved away to give him way.

" Give me a good reason to let you have a conversation with me." , Mingyu stated.

" Y/n was the reason you guys escaped.", as soon as these words left his mouth, Mingyu backed up.

" We are not stupid to believe your lies.", Junhui said.

" Do I look like I am lying?", Yangyang continued as he saw the members not convinced, " How else do you think you did this? Of course, you all are capable but ICS security system is one of the toughest systems known to the world."

Yangyang moved the gun that was pointed towards him by a guard.

" She managed to remove most of the security from her side, arranged the transfer of members to affliction rooms on the day of president arrival to divert security and recruited uncapable guards to send along Mingyu. she was able to do this as ICS put immense trust on her. She broke it.", Yangyang seated himself on one of the chairs without permission.

" If you don't believe me, see this.", he threw some papers on the table which showed the details of Y/n's arrest reports, the stamp of ICS clearly on the corner of the paper. " She got arrested the next day you guys escaped."

Mingyu rushed towards the table to see the papers, only to know its the truth.

" Where is she now?", Soonyoung spoke up in the midst of the tension.

Yangyang diverted his gaze downwards and left a sharp breath.

" She is dead."

Taglist: @calssunflower @woo8hao

#kim mingyu #seventeen x reader #svt fic #seventeen #mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #seventeen angst #seventeen mafia au

[tossawary]

Hi! Just wondering, for you what is the difference between transmigrating in as an infant and regaining memories of your past life later, and transmigrating in as a character who a bit older but remembering the past of the character you’re in? I guess it’s kind of moot considering he still feels the weight of both those lives either way, but I was curious about your thoughts on it.

Hey! I think this is a pretty complicated and broad question. Overall, as with any story, there are different ways to write both of those things, different directions to explore, which could make them feel very different or functionally identical. My personal feelings on this can change wildly from story to story, and character to character. SPOILERS for SVSSS.

Let's say that Airplane Bro is the first case (reincarnated as an infant and gained his memories of his past life on the way) and Shen Yuan is the second case (transmigrated into an older character's life and later unlocked some of Shen Jiu's memories). Just to use their particular situations to look at some of the practical realities. I know that it doesn't fit precisely, but it's useful to have examples.

I think that a big element here is personal life choices and personal relationships. Airplane never has to feel like he replaced someone else. He's Shang Qinghua now, sure, but there was never an Original Shang Qinghua in this world. Being there from the beginning, he's been able to control his actions and responses, and build his own personal relationships. His relationship with Mobei-Jun, for example, is entirely his own.

(We don't actually know how much the System interfered in his life, but he does seem to have a degree of freedom that's much more significant compared to his fellow transmigrator. The vibe I got by the end of the Airplane Extras was that the System probably would have let him do whatever he'd wanted if he'd really gone for it, honestly.)

Shen Yuan, on the other hand, knows that he replaced someone else, and Shen Jiu had a miserable life and then made some cruel choices. Shen Yuan has to bear the burden of things he didn't do, even if other characters are willing to sweep it under the rug of amnesia, which has permanently colored his relationships with Luo Binghe, Yue Qingyuan, and Liu Qingge. (The System then forced him to do something terrible to Luo Binghe, whom he loved very much. At the very beginning, it temporarily controlled his every single interaction with any other human being during the OOC restriction period. That's just fucked up.) By the end of SVSSS, Shen Yuan fully inhabits the new Shen Qingqiu he's created and has made peace out of the story he's been given and the relationships he's inherited and made his own, even though he owns a life that partially belonged to someone else (Shen Jiu and the System). He has to live with that history.

Rambling on about Airplane Bro for a little bit to take a look at these two different approaches from another angle...

I typically imagine Airplane Bro slowly regaining his memories over the course of his childhood, because I personally can't fully suspend my disbelief over a fully conscious adult in the body of an infant. I mean, I've read that kind of thing before, and some of the stories have been good. But brains just don't work like that. Newborn babies are such little fragile aliens, barely able to see the faces less than a foot from their face. It's important to me to physically ground fantasy (and sci-fi) somewhat to make magic (and tech) feel both believable and compelling. This is a personal nitpick.

(You could have the reincarnated/transmigrated mind/soul being held mostly separate, slowly integrating, and essentially controlling the body remotely, I guess? But yeah, the "adult stuck in a child body" thing inherently has powerful horror elements (and political elements in regards to children's rights) that a lot of reincarnated stories seem to take on unintentionally and don't always handle well. When I'm writing reincarnation stuff, I usually skip over that backstory stuff in part because it's just so complicated, and also because there are other plots I'd rather explore that I find more interesting. Getting bogged down in early childhood stuff generally isn't really my thing, reading or writing it.)

If Airplane is essentially haunted by the memories of his past life for his entire childhood, I think it would make him strange, unnerving, and generally unpalatable to other people. I think it would be confusing and scary to know things without being sure how you know them. To remember things that seem to belong not only to another life, but another world. It would contribute to his isolation, his emotional detachment, and his choice to identify strongly with his previous life in terms of personality.

And if it's a more gradual process, then he doesn't have to feel like he replaced someone else. He knows (as much as anyone can know anything) that this body has always belonged to him.

If he suddenly remembered a past life, then that would also lead to his detached Airplane Bro personality. But if he suddenly remembered a past life, depending on how you write it, it might feel functionally identical to transmigrating in in that moment but still retaining the body's memories.

Of course, even if it was a gradual process, depending on how you write it, it could seem to him that it was a gradual transmigration and that he replaced someone else. Both approaches are cool.

Transmigration and reincarnation must be such a disorienting experience, liable to make a character doubt reality or their "sanity". When a character transmigrates in but has access to the body's memories, there's often some plot device dream sequence (the transmigrator briefly gets to meet the ghost of the person they're replacement) or System interference to let both the character and the readers know that there's been a switch. What if there's no System popping up to explain exactly what happened? What if the character just has to guess based on these vague memories that they may or may not be able to tell came from another person?

Either way, transmigrators are usually dealing with feeling like an imposter. But I think the transmigrator generally might feel guiltier over taking up or ruining any pre-existing relationships if they know for a fact that they replaced a separate person.

Back to some physical practicalities between our two transmigrators in SVSSS... Airplane Bro has just had... more time to get used to his life here. Coming in as an infant, presuming a gradual adjustment of awareness, he's used to his own body. He's at home in it.

SVSSS isn't fully interested in exploring this topic, so we don't really see Shen Yuan dealing with it, but... suddenly being in a different body would be a WEIRD experience. I can handwave away a lot of brain stuff on "magical System weirdness", so sure, Shen Yuan's mind is somehow his own while retaining some Shen Jiu memories, and he has special muscle memory and spiritual memory that allows him to continue being a powerful cultivation with only minor adjustment.

But... what about things like taste buds? The physical human experience is so wildly varied. Humans are incredibly adaptable, but surely it would be weird at first to potentially have different favorite foods. To like different drinks. To maybe enjoy different smells. To dislike things you used to love. To be a different height. A different weight. To be far more physically fit. To have different teeth. Personally, I move slightly differently and have slightly different mannerisms depending on the length of my hair, having to keep longer hair out of the way. Shen Yuan would adjust in time, sure, but that dysphoria must've been something else at first.

As someone interested in these physical realities of magic, I was a little disappointed when none of these came up more extensively when Shen Yuan switched into a body made out of a plant. I think that even little things like breathing and sunlight would feel intensely different. I'm now tempted to write something exploring Shen Yuan enjoying the sensations of his super magical plant body now.

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with my rambling now, so I'm signing off. I think the weight of different transmigration experiences can feel very, VERY different depending on what you're personally interested in exploring when you write.

#goldroitelet #ask tossawary #tossawary svsss #shang qinghua #shen yuan #airplane bro #fic ideas

[hyperactivewhore]

Hello, so a couple of things I wanted to address regarding your takes on Hope and the Mikaelson family. So, I don't take anything from TO or Legacies as face value. I didn't even watch Legacies, because I was over TVD universe by that point. And I didn't even finish TVD or TO, because of how unbearingly bad they got. But I know enough about how the rest of the show turned out to give my take on things too. 

For a show that was supposed to be centered around redeeming Klaus and Hope being the source of redemption for the Mikaelson family, the writers failed miserably in that aspect. For one, they rewrote history, retconned their entire backstory, and made the characters incredibly out of character. Worst thing the writers could've done. There was no redemption or character development whatsoever for anyone. In fact, everyone got worse and became more unlikable as the seasons went on. 

You're saying Rebekah and Freya would've been terrible mothers and claiming that they were bitter, jealous, and resentful of Hope or even of their own kids, when we never saw anything that supports that notion. And it's unfair you single out the women in the Mikaelson family, but say nothing whatsoever about the Mikaelson men, who were just as unfit and unstable to be a parent or have any child under their care. How do you justify saying Rebekah and Freya would've been bad mothers, but justify Klaus and Hayley's shitty parenting? 

If we're gonna call a spade a spade, Hayley was the very definition of a terrible mother. She constantly endangered herself and Hope while she was pregnant and even after she gave birth and just pawned her kid off to Eve or whoever else to involve herself in dangerous situations she really had no business getting involved in, when she could've been there with Hope. Same with Klaus, he most definitely wasn't father of the year. And there's also all the times they neglected Hope as a baby countless times and would often leave her alone during the most dangerous situations too.

If Rebekah and Freya didn't deserve to be mothers or to have a chance at a normal human life, Hayley and Klaus deserved it even less. Overall, I don't get why you or anyone else are so surprised at the Mikaelsons turning out to be deadbeats and abandoning Hope, when their entire family history and dysfunctional family dynamic speaks for itself. You even pointed it out yourself, that the Mikaelson family are unstable. So, why so surprised at this outcome? What else did you expect? And that's the epitome of why having a spinoff about the Mikaelsons centered around a baby of all things failed miserably. It was the worst mistake the writers could've made and the worst route the writers could've gone.

I'll make sure to let this clear for anyone who decides to read through: I didn't finish The Vampire Diaries, I only got to watch season five before the plot bored me and I just watched season one and half of season two of Legacies, but I have read enough over the years and I know all that happens in the three shows, what characters appear and etc.

Is funny how you complain about the Mikaelson and company being "out of character" as if they hadn't been already ooc in season three. Klaus loved witches and the writers completely erased that from his character because recognizing it would mean having him go for Bonnie. Caroline was mean before turning into a vampire, and if they had followed the established lore and canon of vampirism, she would have been just worse than she was as a human instead of the preppy girl she turned into. They completely trashed Elena's character to have her fall for Damon and forget about Stefan, so the fact that you're complaining about this sounds like just an excuse to shit on both shows.

I don't know why you're so pressed about Hope's existence. I have never said she was her family's redemption, I have always said she wasn't and that it was completely unfair of Elijah to put that burden on a baby. She was a plothole and I have stated that her character shouldn't have been made no matter how loved she is. But saying she had no impact on her family is stupid: Hope didn't made them stop being monsters, that's true, but she played a big part on making them change themselves.

Her existence forced her father to stop seeing only for himself, she united Klaus and Rebekah after they literally tried to kill each other by making Bex look after her when she was only a baby, Elijah finally stopped taking his brother's side in everything and she made their toxic codependent relationships slightly better. But at the end of the day, Hope was just a kid and a kid would never erase a thousand years of trauma, abuse and toxicity. It's true, she wasn't her family's redemption but she's the only reason why they stopped being shitty to each other.

There is evidence of why Rebekah would be a bad mother, just see how she behaves around children/teenagers. Marcel was ten and she groomed him, the moment her niece grew up and she couldn't play house with her any longer she left her in the dust, all while remembering how she spent "glorious months covered in dirt" because she spent less than a year with her as a baby and that is what she wanted, a baby, not a child, and just look at how she acted with Elena and Caroline. Rebekah was jealous of both of them, she was jealous of Hayley and Freya herself even made a joke about how she would be jealous of their own niece - it was about how she would stay nineteen forever hence beauty forever, but my point remains.

Rebekah would be a bad mother as far as we know in canon because everything suggests that. She's a child herself, just seventeen and her brain isn't even fully developed yet: she's easily jealous, tends to have emotional issues and has a low self esteem. What would be weird is that she wouldn't be jealous and a bad mother to her child, not otherwise. I love her, but she is a bad person and doesn't deserve to be a mom.

Freya is literally the same. She was traumatized with the child she lost and she viewed him/her on Hope, but she never gave a damn about making sure her seven years old niece didn't grow up traumatized and she completely forgot about her the moment Nik was born so yes, this information is enough for me to think she would be a bad mother. And look at what she did to Davina, who was barely eighteen.

The Mikaelson didn't and still don't deserve a normal happy life simply because they aren't good persons. They would be shitty parents, the two canon parents we have (Klaus and Freya) are bad parents and they don't even know how to behave around teenagers.

Saying Hayley is a bad mother is wild. Did you want her to stay home with Jackson while her daughter's family was being attacked every time they breathed? Hayley never put herself in a dangerous situation while pregnant willingly, it was always people coming after her and their child because she was carrying a Mikaelson kid. I don't know how she "pawned" her kid to somebody else to go help the Mikaelson, she was fighting with them because once again, they were Hope's family. She made some shitty choices, yes, but she was stuck in the most dangerous family to ever exist and the only way out was death: she never had the chance to decide if she actually wanted to have Hope. Both Elijah and Klaus forced it on her, they never asked her if she wanted an abortion and it was quite clear she would have died if she tried getting one.

I guess you pulled all of this information from your ass, because I never justified Klaus’s shitty parenting; I've always said time and time again he was a bad father, and I never said I was surprised at the Mikaelson being deadbeats when they already were in The Originals.

I don't know why you say the show "failed miserably" when it didn't: the rankings are good, it was nominated for awards a plenty of times and it is the favorite show of more than half of the fandom.

#honestly 💀 #klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #hope mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #hayley marshall #marcel gerard #camille o'connell #caroline forbes #elena gilbert #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to