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#whew this was LONG
lilithess · 1 year
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS III
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water moons are just so … love naive. it breaks my heart how much these people get taken advantage of. if you come across a manipulative, hard cored water moon, know that they’ve already been hurt too much. this especially goes for cancer moons. like when a crab closes its shell
i already spoke about capricorn and scorpio placements getting the most hurt in this life but i’ve noticed it’s somewhat different. capricorn’s pain is obvious and “logical”. these people couldn’t catch a break because saturn and pluto have been transiting the sign of capricorn and now aquarius so it’s decades od having two malefics going up and down on your placements. mother died, father left, grandma got ill, parents divorced.. whatever it was, naturally, when you hear their life story, it makes sense as to why they behave as rigid or even pessimistic and frustrated with others, with themselves. they’ve been through so much and their childhoods were one of the most difficult i’ve seen (especially aquarius/capricorn stellium). burdened by everything that happens, they usually buckle up and dig themselves in their work. work is the most favorable medicine for saturnians.
scorpio, on the other hand, might not even have any of these life circumstances. i’ve noticed plutonians can create their own misery. they can be healthy, employed, even have both parents, a house, friends../ yet somehow they’re suffering. this is because scorpio needs the wound to keep it going. it needs something to die over, then be reborn, because without it - there’s no point. it wouldn’t be a scorpio to begin with. say you might be going through a heartbreak. and you hurt, you buy icecream, you go shopping, cry for a while, then move on. regular life, it happens. plutonian going through a break up is like peeling the skin of your bones. it goes on and on. it can be years over something that can be finished in a month. they hurt with every cell in their body. everything is deep, everything is big, everything is an apocalipse. this is how scorpio/pluto processes hurt and betrayal and most often in secrecy. i say - the rest of the zodiac suffers, and then there’s scorpio
venus being harshly aspected by saturn could manifest as having an extremely low self esteem that you’re not even aware of. it could prolonge a happy relationship or any sort of relationship at all. if you do get into a relationship, make sure they are treating you right. there’s a good chance you have to work on your confidence a lot
i’ve witnessed libra mars be so peaceful about an issue that i wanted to pluck their words out with pliers. they can really swipe things under the rug and just stay aggressively silent. my father has this placement as well and i’ve seen him stand up for himself and loose his cool maybe - two times. other libra placements don’t have this sort of passiveness (except maybe libra rising) so idk where the stereotype on libra suns is coming from. also, i find libras to be much darker than people see them to be. maybe because there’s a good chance they’ll have some scorpio placements as well but. i think this sign needs a deeper analyses
SYNASTRY TIME! there is one guy who has loved me for the past three years no matter where he’d been and who he’d been with. whenever he sees me it all starts all over again and these are most significant synastry aspects that we have: - my saturn and mars square his moon (he is hurt all over again every time. i have a situation where i’m the moon and i was the hurt one. beware of malefics on your moon!) - my sun conjuncts his venus (this aspect seems very powerful be it in synastry or composite, but i don’t feel it much. my venus also conjuncts his sun and i see him as nothing but another friend) - his neptune opposite my venus and mars (he is the infatuated one, not me) - my moon, venus, mars and jupiter in his 8H (feels possessive over me, stares at me to the point i have to yell at him to stop, looks at me like a lost puppy, has no control over his dignity and if he sees another man flirting with me he gets mad and the rest of his night is ruined) - my ascendant conjunct his moon and my mc conjunct his sun (i have no idea how this plays out but it seems important)
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Yknow what? I’m getting really tired of Gus being treated as a throwaway character who just third- or fifth- or seventh-wheels for his friends. It’s really upsetting, especially as an aroace, when people make jokes about him being “forever alone” or whatever, because it’s just not true.
First of all, yes, he isn’t in a romantic relationship, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have someone who appreciates him and loves him for who he is. And secondly, his friends already are those people! They care about him!! Sure, they have romantic interests as well, but that doesn’t mean they love him any less. Luz, Amity, Willow and Hunter aren’t going to abandon or ignore him just because they’re in romantic relationships with each other. Sure, they’ll want to spend some alone time together, I’m not denying that, but it doesn’t mean they’ll all go out as a group and then turn it into a double date where Gus is the odd one out like some of you are suggesting.
it’s also pretty disheartening when people respond to Gus’ third-wheeling with something like “that’s what Matt is for!” Sure, Matt could be a solution if Gus was feeling lonely, but he isn’t necessarily feeling that way just from the basis of him third-wheeling. And even if he was, the assumption that a character just needs a romantic interest to be happy is glaringly amatonormative, especially when it’s paired with the assumption that it would “make up” for his friends ignoring him.
in conclusion, let Gus be happy with his friends, please. If you want to make fanart of the group doing something together with Lumity and Huntlow themes, no one’s stopping you, but some of the jokes about him being a third wheel are hurtful to people like aromantics or others who don’t want a romantic relationship. Gus isn’t just a silly side character there for comedic relief. Don’t treat him like one.
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lancerious · 4 months
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Blab about Lancer
Ah yes, always a grand idea :D!
I'm gonna try and keep what I say here reasonably fresh as I don't feel like repeating what I've said about the bounciest boi in the past, though if anyone wants me to repeat myself lemme know because I'll definitely do it hehe :>.
I just wanna gush about Rouxls Kaard in terms of Lancer for a bit, firstly because I haven't done this much to begin with, and secondly because I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THESE TWO. Rouxls I don't care how much you complain about Lancer it's obvious you care for the kid's well being and you SHOULD because said kid is a pure precious cinnamon roll who couldn't hurt a mosquito. Every time I see fanart depicting Rouxls as being a parental guardian of sorts for Lancer it makes me melt because it's so PRECIOUS, honestly keeping an eye on Lancer is one of the only things Rouxls Kaard is good--or at least decent--at. And you can't tell me the "Lesser Dad" nickname isn't adorable, if you don't find that adorable then you have issues. I don't know if I've ever brought up this "surrogate guardian" sort of thing going on between these characters but I am now! 10/10, both Rouxls Kaard & Lancer are too beloved for this world, 'nuff said. (<- I still prefer Spade King as an overall parent/guardian don't worry lol.)
Speaking of Spade King though, I really like the situation he & Lancer are currently in father/son relationship-wise. It is pretty depressing at the moment, but that's honestly what makes it work. I love seeing new family dynamics in Deltarune, something fresh y'know? It's an entirely different scenario with more recent characters. I know how beloved the Dreemurr family are in the UT/DR community, and they're amazing characters for sure, but I really prefer Spade King & Lancer's dynamic. It feels more REAL. The events themselves aren't that realistic ofc, but the emotions & reactions both sides have feel more reasonable. I'm not sure if this is even making sense and I'm going on a tangent anyway.
But yeah, back to Spade King & Lancer. I love how we're actively going to SEE both characters (hopefully) work out their differences and begin to mend that relationship. And we also will likely see how each side's current situation affects them, likely in more ways than one. Sure, both Lancer & Spade King are mostly hiding such things behind a facade, but you KNOW it's there. And THAT is what makes it so impactful. You know both characters are going through such inner turmoil, especially Lancer. His father literally hates the only friends he's ever had, and that puts poor ol' Lancer smack in the middle of everything. It's like that feeling you get when two close friends are fighting and you're the mutual third party, but multiplied SO many times. Honestly, I've said it before, and I will say it again; a breakdown of SOME sort HAS to happen to Lancer at some point. I doubt Spade King will have such a moment because Spade King, but he'll still feel it inwardly I'm sure. There is no feasible way a literal CHILD can carry on the burden of so much without crumbling under the pressure.
Which brings me to something that I admittedly have mentioned before, but I just have to bring it up again. Lancer has gone through SO MUCH for a child his age. It's doesn't matter what age you headcannon Lancer as: What he has and is currently going through are things NO child should experience, EVER. I'm not even talking about only the Spade King situation anymore, I'm talking about EVERYTHING. What makes all Lancer has been through that much worse is the fact of him being AWARE of it all. He's not oblivious, and he's not clueless either. He's ASTONISHINGLY observant, ESPECIALLY for his age. I would even argue Lancer is one of the most observant Deltarune characters so far, even if he never announces it. He certainly hints at it here and there, like when he told Kris, Susie, & Ralsei that the other Darkners aren't major fans of him.
This entire thing makes me think of a line Lancer said during his battle alongside Susie with Kris & Ralsei. The first time you, as the player, tell Ralsei to "give the final blow of kindness" to Lancer, Susie blocks it off so Lancer can't hear. And Lancer says he's "blissfully ignorant". Call me crazy, but I don't think that specific phrase was an accident. Of course, Deltarune is only a game after all, so it was Toby Fox who put that line in. But if we think about this through the perspective of Lancer himself, I see him stating what he WISHES he was. He WISHES he was "blissfully ignorant" from everything around him: knowing the fact of the other Darkners not liking him to dealing with an impossibly complex parenting situation and everything in between.
See, I think there's a very unique tragedy with Lancer. One that most characters Toby Fox has created haven't been able to replicate. Think of Asriel from Undertale for a minute. Asriel had loving PARENTS, plural, and he even got a sibling in the form of Chara for a time. Asriel's entire family was well-respected and loved by the other monsters, and for the longest time, Asriel didn't have a lot of burdens to bear. It was only at the short time leading up to & including his own DEATH, & what came after, where things started to go downhill. Asriel essentially had it all while he was alive, then lost it upon death.
And now, think of Lancer. I would say Lancer is the exact opposite of Asriel in this way. First, Lancer's family is a crumbled mess. He barely knows his mother--Queen--has a biological father in the form of Spade King, who was (and certainly is) likely not a perfect parent, and that really only leaves Rouxls Kaard as a somewhat decent parental guardian. Already, we see a major difference. And once we broaden our view and see both kingdoms with their citizens, well, Asriel and Lancer could not possibly be more opposite. There was not ONE Darkner Lancer felt appreciated by, save for those above him in power & position, which is really only Spade King (ignoring the other Kings when they ruled). The ONLY time Lancer felt genuine connection with others was the day Kris & Susie first appeared in the Dark World. That is IT. Generally, in terms of how his current life has been so far, Lancer's is far from ideal. Hence, Lancer & Asriel are opposites in this case.
I think I've run out of things to say as far as this post goes lol, and it's already preeetty long. Though, let's end this post on a high note! Lancer has actual friends now, friends who will stand by for whatever support he may need. Heck, if Kris, Ralsei, & Susie--especially Susie--were all willing to respect Lancer's wishes and attempt to resolve everything peacefully with Spade King in Chapter 1, who KNOWS what's to come in future chapters! I for one can't wait to see where Lancer's story goes :)!
Anyway have a random Lancer fanart image :>.
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si-cucumber · 23 days
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Oh that aspec post has me fuming. Rantings of an AroAce artist below
I have been lucky enough irl to have never gotten the "oh you've never met the right person" talk when I tell people I'm AroAce. I find the "let ace/aro people have sex/relationships" infuriating for obvious reasons. If someone does not want to have sex/be in a romantic relationship, we need to fucking listen to them.
But as a Horny-But-Sex-Averse Ace™, I'm in a weird position. Do I enjoy writing about my incubi getting it on? Yeah! Do I personally want to do the same? Nah! I'll pass!
I feel like people see asexuality as an all or nothing thing. You either are ok with having sex or you don't want anything to do with it at all. Being...in the middle of the spectrum makes you feel very invisible at best, and treated poorly at worst.
I often fear that people don't believe I'm ace because I enjoy engaging with adult subjects, especially in my own art/writing.
And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have felt incredibly infantilized when in adult spaces. When it came to RPing with my OCs, when I told my partners I was ace, all of the sudden, we would just...never write about adult subjects again. I was never asked "hey, you're ace, are you comfortable with writing smut?" or anything. They just assumed my uwu soft boi self couldn't handle writing dirty things or didn't want to.
While we do absolutely need to respect those who are sex repulsed and listen to their boundaries, every aspec person is different. They should be the ones calling the shots about what they engage in or with. Not you.
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x-lovely · 8 months
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Friday
1. Worked 9-8
2. Went to the bar with two friends, met two more new people
3. Was out 11 pm - 2 am
4. Slept at 3 am
Saturday
1. Worked 9-7 pm
2. Target run with cousin
3. Hosted a party at my house 10 pm - 1 am
4. Was out 1:30 am - 3:00 am
5. Napped somewhere not at home from 3 am to 6 am
6. Went home at 6 am and neighbor saw me
7. Showered
8. Slept until 9:20 am
Saturday into Sunday
1. 10 am went to cousin’s house
2. Drove to another state
3. Went to cousin’s
4. Ate x Dunkin run x dollar tree x family dollar run
5. Kids came over
6. Ten of us having fun
7. Costco run
8. Dinner
9. Walked around downtown
10. Came home
In bed.
I had an amazing past three days.
I’m also off on Mondays now. Switched my work days. It was very much needed.
I can’t wait to sleep tonight.
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astrumocs · 1 year
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🌅🎭🔮🧿 🎄🐚⚖️🌃 ❤️ and... ♣️ for my man jules,
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🌅- Do you have a certain routine for starting your night?
"Generally, I try to follow the same routine at the start of the night, it's good for keeping myself focused and gives the kids a consistent start to their day. I also check on my couple of other subjects around the time that I first bring food around."
🌃- Do you prefer to live in a rural area or more populated places with communal hive stems?
"I used to live in the suburbs, but now I live in a fairly rural area. I don't mind it, I think I like parts of both better than the other, but my current situation is much more suitable for my work and life as it is."
♥️- Do you think that pity should still be considered the normal feeling for a red or would you say love is a more common practice to look for in a mate?
"These days it's hard to say, I'm not so in touch with the way people see it currently. When I still entertained red romance, though... I found you could have a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship with or without pity, but not without love."
> His voice goes a bit quieter at the end there.
----- Rest under the Cut! -----
🎭- How do you access entertainment? What is available to you to do for fun?
"I have a reading tablet as well as some actual books that I'll read in the mornings. Sometimes I order new books to read, but the process of retrieving physical deliveries is a bit of an annoyance. I also take breaks from work to restore pocketwatches for fun."
🔮- Do you believe those who claim to be gifted with the ability to see ghosts or talk to lusii telepathically? Or do you think they are lying?
"...Considering I can speak with my lusus telepathically, it would be a bit hypocritical of me to claim that sort of thing to be false. I'm sure there are trolls who can speak with or see the dead as well."
🧿- Do you believe in horrorterrors? Or do you believe they're just scary stories?
"No, they're simply scary stories. If I chose to believe otherwise, I think the stress would give me a perpetual migraine."
♣️- Do you have any interest in an ashen, or do you see it as obsolete in the current day?
"I wouldn't say obsolete so much as 'niche'. It was always the least common quadrant that I heard about or that I saw people partaking in, and I know I certainly wouldn't be interested in it myself. Some want it or need it, and others do not."
⚖️- Do you believe the justice system works, or do you feel justice has to be taken into your own hands?
"Most of us are aware that it has its biases and open weaknesses. I think that should tell you my thoughts on the system itself. But also to think the average troll capable of enacting their own justice in a reasonable way is hardly better."
"There is no good option, in my opinion."
🎄- Do you celebrate holidays of any sort? If so, what ones?
"If those around me wish to celebrate something, then I may consider it, but I have never been much of a holiday person."
🐚- Are you afraid of the beach or ocean? If so, what reasons?
"I don't think it's an unreasonable fear-- the waters of Alternia are incredibly dangerous, but most especially for those who are not seadwellers. They can be quite territorial at times."
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ah sorry for neglecting the blog!!! the holidays kept me a lot busier than i thought they would. i’m back now though, and i’m three episodes behind in reviewing jupiter-men! so i’m going to put all of my thoughts on this one. think of it as a trilogy i guess? buckle up, because this will be a long one!
episode 24
so in this episode, we learn that “jessie” (who arrio referred to in a previous episode) is his little sister. and she’s adorable! arrio always felt like a “big brother” character to the twins so him having a little sibling of his own makes a lot of sense for him.
we also meet arrio’s dad who, in the middle of arrio’s “angsting,” gifts his son a journal from his mom as an early 16th birthday present. it seems like his mom left this for him before her death (or disappearance?), with the stipulation that he waits until 16 before receiving it. this is pretty common in the YA /coming-of-age genre, and it makes me wonder if there was more to arrio’s mom than meets the eye…
but we don’t get the answer to that yet, as arrio throws the gift under his bed before opening it.
arrio is understandably getting increasingly frustrated by the avalon twins flaking on him and not-so-subtly hiding something from him. of course we as an audience understand why jackie and quintin are doing so, but since arrio is in the dark, their sudden behavior changes are hurtful and worrying to him. arrio’s interaction with mr. khan (the school counselor) highlights his worry, as well as giving more insight into arrio’s past.
mr. khan is downright fearful of arrio, and there’s even mention of a past restraining order. it’s clear that arrio was (and i’m sure still is, in shades) a deeply troubled kid. seeing the reactions the adults at school have to him now, two years later, makes me wonder how supportive they were of him during the roughest part of his life. at least it seems like his dad had his back the whole time, though we still don’t have many concrete details of the things that happened back then.
checking on the twins, we see they are exhausted and their bodies are in pain after two weeks straight of training, without breaks. geez! these are two 14 year old kids. watch-dog’s training is intense.
nathan seems like a taskmaster when it comes to training the twins, and while i’m sure part of it is him wanting to rush the process to get his dad back, it also makes me wonder what kind of training jupiter-man may have put nathan through. is this kind of tireless training…NORMAL for nathan? is he putting them through grueling training because he’s single-minded in his goal and doesn’t care if it’s extremely difficult for them, or does he really not see anything wrong with pushing them so hard because he may have gone through the same? i wonder if when we eventually meet jupiter-man, the story will take a “never meet your heroes” direction and we learn he may have had some serious flaws behind the scenes.
it seems inevitable that the twins will experience serious burnout at some point. at the end of the day they are still kids, and they’re now neglecting their friends and family for their duty as superheroes. this is an enormous burden for them to carry, and i really hope they will be able to find a better balance and support than they have right now!
in the end, we see the mysterious glitches we saw in a previous episode expand into a portal, from which a mysterious new character emerges. they have fire powers and seem to be looking for something. this is so exciting! i’ve been looking forward to seeing beings from the other dimensions and getting more lore on these other worlds.
i really enjoy this kind of worldbuilding and crafting of different systems. i like that they never really feel repetitive as long as the author puts a distinct spin on them. for instance, in the separate webtoons “four leaf” and “lone,” witches play large roles. but their magic systems are totally different! the witches in four leaf gain magical strength based on the number of bells they collect with the type of abilities being determined by their exact number of bells, while the witches in lone use wands to channel different innate magics with specialties in different forms depending on the individual.
it’s that kind of variety i love about exploring different worlds and the people / creatures that inhabit them, which is why i can’t wait to see the various worlds and dimensions of jupiter-men!
episode 25
it’s arrio’s birthday! and he opens his mom’s gift!
it’s a blank journal with a mysterious cover. arrio reads the inscription, which refers to enchantment and speaking from your soul. this seems to clearly indicate that arrio’s mom was from another of these dimensions (of magic?! awesome), and probably the exact one that the mysterious character from the previous episode came from.
a ring falls out of the book, and when arrio puts it on (and subsequently can’t take it off), his eyes fill with fire for a moment. so arrio will gain access to powers at some point! i would love for him to join gusher, powerhouse, and watch-dog on their team, but i’m wondering if the mysterious person will manipulate arrio and turn him against the twins…i don’t want arrio to become a villain, but with all of this tension and misunderstandings, i think it’d be easy for him to become a pawn in a villain’s game.
(also, arrio’s snappy orange socks he always wears are presents he gets from his baby sister; such a cute detail!)
however, at school, arrio’s small friend group gives him a cupcake in celebration while the twins are nowhere to be seen. when they finally approach him late in the day, they blow off his request to hang out (again) and ask that he cover for them (so they can train without their mom asking questions). they completely forgot his birthday (they think it’s the next day because they’ve been so preoccupied with everything else).
arrio confronts them on their lies and demands to know what they’re busy with, as he’s afraid it could be a gang. things get heated between quin and arrio while jackie tries to mediate. arrio tells quin that he’s concerned because he’s like a brother to him, and quin snaps that they *aren’t*so he can stop worrying.
this was a really sad and well-written argument. arrio definitely has reasons to be upset and worried. quintin snapping was a bit shocking to see, because while he can be somewhat intense when expressing his emotions, we’ve never truly seen him this angry. and i think a lot of that is because of the stress of constantly training and lying. it’s taking a toll on him even if he doesn’t really want to admit it.
after the argument, watch-dog calls. jackie (rightfully) goes off on him, but he interrupts to say that this isn’t a drill, it’s a real attack.
i think this episode did a good job showing the conflict between the twins and arrio come to a head. they can’t just pretend everything is okay while leaving him in the dark, and i hope they’re all able to talk openly about what’s going on. before it may be too late…
episode 26
arrio is still hurt by quintin’s comment, then he’s confronted by rick chang (the bully we met wayyy back in eps. 1 and 2). rick is pushy with trying to get information to go after jackie while arrio asserts her autonomy (w friend arrio), so rick picks a fight, arrio fights back, bada-bing-bada-boom, arrio gets detention on his birthday. plus we get more clues to his backstory, like the fact that he was in a gang. now we know why he was so concerned about jackie and quintin getting pulled into a gang; he knows what it’s like and feared they’d go down the same path he did.
sidenote, we also learn that rick has some sway in the school due to who his mom is. the principal says that while isn’t innocent, he’ll “call it even” and let him go without punishment so long as he doesn’t get his mom involved. which, scummy as heck. maybe we will meet his mom someday and get some proper rick lore, but for now i’m perfectly content hating him haha.
the heroes meanwhile sense an anomaly, and it’s coming from…the school?!
the mysterious person enters the detention room arrio is in. while there, they mention that “the star guardian is losing his touch if we are both here,” which makes me wonder a bit about the purpose of the star guardian. this character doesn’t appear to be a starstruck monster, but a person from another dimension. are star guardians meant to keep ANY interdimensional beings from crossing over into other ones? even non-harmful ones? do they enforce this dimensional segregation at any costs?
because if that’s the case, that DOES NOT bode well for what could have happened to arrio’s mom. did she flee here from her dimension for some reason, and once she was discovered by the previous star guardian, jupiter-man, nathan’s dad, daejung mun, did he banish her back to her home dimension (or KILL her)? separating her from her HUSBAND AND CHILDREN? this is realllly making my theory of jupiter-man hiding some skeletons in his cape look a lot more likely if that’s the case!
the episode ends with the mysterious person chasing arrio down the halls in an attempt to get the spellbook. we know the heroes will show up to save him, but their appearances will be cloaked due to their costume technology. will the twins choose to share their identities and truth with arrio before their relationship spirals further out of control? i hope so.
these chapters were really enjoyable, and i liked learning more about arrio’s backstory. the clues of it were spread out and we still don’t have the full picture, which is more interesting that just info-dumping all of it at once. this way it’s like putting puzzle pieces together. though i have to admit that i missed jackie, quintin, and nathan these past few episodes, because even though arrio is great and i’ve been itching to know more about him, it left the rest of the cast out-of-focus and i just really missed seeing more of them. that’s not a criticism of the story, though, because i think it was a good choice so we’d feel what arrio was feeling, about them not being there for him and leaving him feeling isolated from them. so bravo, author!
i’ll be getting back in the swing of posting my reviews weekly, so i won’t have to deal with writing three at once again, lol.
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dlartistanon · 5 months
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Fellas is it gay to top the Radiant Knight
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orlaite · 3 months
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"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state from a little city." Peter O'Toole as T.E Lawrence LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
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disneyprincemuke · 4 months
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kiss all your tears away
alternatively: we haven’t talked in almost 4 days (next)
in which she and logan don't walk into the paddocks together for the first time all season and sends everyone speculating about the status of their relationship friendship
(series masterlist)
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she hikes her bag up her shoulder, pushing the sunglasses up her nose. she taps her card against the reader before she can step into the paddocks.
when she'd woken up this morning, she laid in bed with two packs of ice over her eyes to try and reduce the swelling of her eye area. when she’s gotten up to look at herself in the mirror, it did depuff but didn’t entirely erase the evidence of all the crying she did.
she dropped george a text message early this morning, asking if it was okay to be wearing sunglasses everywhere on the paddocks without looking like a complete fool — it’s just a rehearsal, after all.
george simply assumed she’s hungover or something of the sort, so he didn’t ask questions. he just told her he does it all the time.
so, here she is walking into the paddocks by herself. with her stupid bag on her stupid shoulder and a pair of sunglasses over her eyes to hide away from everyone.
oscar, who comes in right after her, almost walks right past her before he realised who she is. he just almost barely recognises her entering the paddocks with a bag on her shoulder and logan next to her.
oscar taps her on the shoulder gently, flashing her a bright smile. “alone today?”
“yeah,” she answers simply, a smile of gratitude stretching her lips when oscar slows his pace down to walk with her.
“oh,” oscar nods to himself. while he’s been slightly out of touch with her out of respect of their relationship, he still did grow up with her. he still knows her telltales when she’s got a problem. “fought?”
“yeah.”
“that bad?”
“pretty bad.”
“i won’t ask about it. but are you okay?”
“i guess.”
“i’m sure it’ll be okay.”
“hopefully.”
“let me carry your stuff,” oscar mutters, circling around her to her other side. he doesn’t wait for an answer — he just slides her backpack off her shoulder and throws it over his shoulder on top of his bag.
she opens her mouth to protest, but oscar is quick to shut her down. “i used to do it before logan. don’t act like it’s so new to you,” oscar laughs, shaking his head. “and it’s weird seeing you with a bag in the paddocks.”
“that’s true. i haven’t walked into the paddocks with my bag on my shoulder since i joined you guys in f2,” she grins shyly.
“let’s put your stuff down then come and hang at mclaren? lily’s just got a taxi to arrive from the airport.”
“oh, she’s here this weekend? she didn’t tell me that…”
“she was going to surprise you after the rehearsal,” oscar giggles. “so, what do you say?”
“okay, but only if lando makes me a cup of coffee.”
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george tilts his head at the empty seat alex has left in the corner. “move to the corner, we’re going to hog the space and be shat on for acting like boyfriends.”
“logan’s sitting with us tonight,” alex answers simply with a shrug. “can’t fully commit to being your boyfriend tonight, mate, i’m sorry.”
“oh, how come?” george asks, furrowing his eyebrows. typically, logan would sit in the middle rows with his girlfriend. “doesn’t he usually sit with (y/n) or oscar?”
alex shrugs, bottom lip pouted out. “think they had a friendly squabble a couple days ago. he’s been weird since he arrived in vegas the other day.”
george surprisingly held on to the unspoken agreement he has with them. he hasn’t told a soul about seeing her in the gap between his door that one time. nor has told alex about it.
but he does talk to lando, which wasn’t a great conversation to start when he came up to him with a 50 pound bill in his hand. they danced around the information of knowing something particularly specific, and lando eventually blurted excitedly that he saw them on a date a few days back.
so maybe they fought. or worse, have they broken up?
logan arrives literally a second after the worst thought passes his mind. he takes the empty seat next to alex, greeting george with a small smile before leaning in to start a conversation.
he watches the door, curious at what’s exactly going on. he completely tunes out from the conversation, feigning intelligent answers and short reponses. his eyes dart over to the door whenever it’s pulled open, and sighing when it’s not the driver he expects.
he looks down at his watch. there’s about 10 minutes before the briefing starts for them. and, vegas is a race that had them come in a couple days prior to be briefed and conduct a short rehearsal for the opening ceremony.
luckily, there’s not much media around today, which would make tiptoeing around this issue a whole lot easier.
when the door is pulled open again, george lifts his head quickly, as he’s genuinely quite invested now. he raises an eyebrow and is taken aback by the girl holding the door open with a pair of sunglasses resting on her nose.
he’s absolutely forgotten the fact that she had texted him this morning about this issue.
she takes a step forward, but then takes two back. instead of walking in, she stays back outside the room with the door in her hand. pierre and charles walk in, thanking her softly before returning to their conversation.
there’s a momentary pause as she looks inside, where they’re seated, before she looks at somebody who’s in the hallway with her. oscar appears, motioning for her to walk in, but she shakes her head and simply points inwards to the room.
alex has chosen to settle for the wrong seats today, obviously. having logan sit right next to the door might be a bit more detrimental than he thought. but what would alex know? he doesn’t even know of their relationship.
oscar tries to fight with her, but she simply purses her lips. the australian slumps his shoulder before sharply turning on his heel and just walking into the room, followed by a distressed looking lando.
lando looks around, catching george’s curious eyes, so the man in orange simply shrugs tiredly at him.
she beckons for someone else in the hallway to walk in, but it seems that it’s a losing fight by the way that she’s continually waving her hands in the air to persuade them.
sighing, she just visibly sighs and winds her hand back to act out a punch. she drops her hands before finally turning around to take a step forward again.
if there’s any way that she announces her arrival, it’s typically by the scent of her strong perfume. her floral scent fills his nose, and it’s obvious that logan finally takes notice of her arrival.
because logan turns around, eyes trained on her as she walks in with an orange paper cup in her hand. what’s made everything stranger is that she simply walks ahead: she doesn’t spare logan another look as she walks down the side aisle to join max, oscar and lando who unfortunately only landed the front row seats.
george watches logan’s eyebrows furrow and press his lips together. logan shifts in his seat uncomfortably before turning back to continue their conversation.
“did you catch that, mate?” alex asks, nudging george’s arm with his elbow.
“what?” george tears his eyes away from the girl in front to look at the two men next to him. “sorry, i didn’t catch what you were saying.”
“right, so basically…”
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she looks up at the giant yellow circle in front of her. she momentarily lifts her sunglasses to gawk at the ever changing expressions of the emoji face being projected.
“that’s so adorable!” she points out, reaching out to roughly pat max’s shoulder to get his attention. “look, it’s looking at us!”
“hey, your hands are not as light as you think!” max scolds, his arm darting out to catch her wrist in his hands. “you’ve got to make up with logan.”
she pouts, retracting her hand roughly from the older man’s grip. she drops her sunglasses back down to her nose and folds her arms over her chest. “what do you mean? you don’t like hanging out with me?”
“i do. trust me, i have the time of my life annoying the shit out of you,” max laughs dryly down at her. “but you are all over my hater hours. gawk at this… thing,” he points at the sphere, “with your boyfriend.”
“no,” she scoffs, simply shaking her head. she huffs and tries to walk past him. “forget it — i’ll just go and find yuki and hang out with him. he doesn’t try and push me away when i try.”
max sighs, rolling his eyes. he grabs her elbow and drags her back to him. he puts her in front of him, hands on her shoulders.
max reaches out and takes off the sunglasses, clipping it to the collar of his shirt. “you’ve got to talk this whole fight out with logan. stop ignoring him.”
“i’m not ignoring him. he’s ignoring me,” she insists, throwing a hand into the air.
“no, he’s not!” max cries, pinching the bridge of his nose. honestly, he didn’t want to enjoy this race in vegas. in fact, all he’s done leading up to this grand prix has been openly hate on the thought of even being here.
he didn’t factor in that he’d have to suddenly play the part of being an older brother and a therapist to the girl standing in front of him.
he has grown to be fond of her, yes, but he very much preferred not being put in the middle of all this.
“what?”
“yeah! he was literally boring holes into you when you walked into the rehearsal briefing earlier,” max points out. “and then he only left the room after you left; after you just walked right past him again without a flinch!”
“okay, listen! if you had the fight that we had, you wouldn’t make up so easily either, okay?” she rambles, hands on her hips in frustration. her puffy eyes are finally nowhere in sight. “you don’t even know what we fought about.”
“fine, then enlighten me.”
“we fought about this,” she circles her hands around them, motioning to the track setup around them. “about all of this! formula 1! it’s caught up to us!”
max furrows his eyebrows. “what do you mean?”
“i mean like i literally had the sebastian vettel vouching for me to get a seat this season,” she sighs, shaking her head as she recalls the fight they had before flying to vegas. “i mean like i’ve been in the points consistently since i crashed in baku and he’s struggling to even be on par with alex!
“how is that my fault, max? it’s not my fault!”
“you’re right: it’s not.”
“why does it feel like it is? i hate that this is happening to him, of all people! but how is it my fault that i’m delivering and meeting everyone’s expectations of me entering the sport?”
tears rush into her eyes. she presses the bottom of her palms into her eyes as her voice cracks, shaking her head hopelessly. “like, it’s not my fault we’re performing differently. i’m literally driving for my reputation and seat — i’m on probation with my team just as much as he is.”
max suddenly regrets poking her button. from what oscar tells him, they’re not typically the couple to have very big fights. it seems that he has misread the severity of the situation.
“oh, (y/n),” max frowns, stepping forward to wrap his arms around her. he puts his hand on the back of her head, gently letting her nuzzle his face into his arm. “i’m sorry. i didn’t know.”
“it just gets increasingly difficult to comfort him weekend after weekend. i’m at a high, and he’s just-“
“i’m sure it’s not easy for him either,” max cooes, swaying side to side in an attempt to comfort her. “i am sure that it is not his intention to… make you ‘feel bad’ of what you’ve achieved thus far.”
“it’s just so hard,” she cries harder into his chest. “i want to be there for him, really. but it’s hard! it’s hard when my team is out celebrating after every race because of my points finish and he’s down with what’s happened with his race.”
max looks up at the sound of footsteps against the gravel, catching lando and george trying to make their way towards them.
he holds up a thumbs up to them, nodding gently enough for her not to feel it, to send them the other way. it’s bad enough she’s crying at the f1 track four days before a race with majority of the teams still in the paddocks.
he turns his head to the side, by the grandstands, catching oscar and sebastian’s stare of concern. he simply flashes them a smile and a reassuring nod. in return, he gets a firm nod from the race engineer and a thankful smile from the young driver.
from what he knows, she hasn’t told anyone about this issue. perhaps that’s why she’s stuck to him all evening?
“i don’t think we’ll get past this, max. that’s the worst part,” she sobs, pulling away to rub her eyes. she heaves as tears flow out of her eyes, lips quivering and voice cracking with every word she speaks. “how can we even? i don’t know what to do.”
max frowns. he pushes her head into his chest again, this time, resting his chin on the top of hers. he doesn’t exactly know what to say.
their situation is so unique, that even he — with as much trauma as he carries around — does not know anything he can say that would make her feel better. so, he just rubs circles on her back as he sways.
“i’m sorry this happened to you,” he sighs, readjusting to now press his cheek on the top of her head. “i really don’t know what to say. there wouldn’t be any words i can string together to make you feel better about this.”
from the distance, he can see alex walking out of the pitlane. the bright blue shirt didn’t really make him hard to spot in the first place.
alex is the least of his problems. because behind alex is logan trailing behind him quietly, completely taken a step away from the conversation alex holds with some of their team members.
“do you want to go somewhere more private? teams are coming out to scout the track, i think,” max whispers, moving his head to look at her face. “let’s go?”
“okay. it’s kinda weird i’m crying here anyway,” she manages to mutter a joke. “my sunglasses.”
max almost wants to laugh when she cries even harder, reaching out for the sunglasses he’s confiscated from her a while ago. she removes it from his shirt, then replaces it on her face.
while she had paraded about with her chin in the air all evening, now she walks with her head down. her hair is out of the braids that blythe had styled her with, now falling to her cheeks to hide her away from everyone else.
if max could have continued walking the other way to simply avoid the williams racing team, he would. but if he did that, they’d have made a complete round of the track on foot. which doesn’t seem like a good idea at all with her state.
max slings a protective arm around her shoulders, walking around her body to hold her away from the prying eyes of those that walk past them.
as they slowly approach the team in blue, alex grows mildly concerned at the weirdly silent girl. “is sh- oh, okay.” alex nods understandingly, holding a hand up to wave max for an apology. all because she’s heaving silently in her sob in max’s arm that immediately told alex to not intervene. “sorry.”
and max just knows they’d eventually find a way out of this fight they’re in. because he turns around to gauge logan’s expression: he’s stopped dead on the tracks with a lingering stare on the crying girl.
max just gives him a small smile, to which logan forces a grin before turning away to catch up with alex who calls out for him.
surely, there’s a way around this. right?
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yudol-skorbi · 2 years
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continuation of epic saga about Eddie's pathetic crush (there will be p3 (and maybe even soon) i promise!!!)
part 1
part 3
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cosmicdreamgrl · 29 days
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bangtan gif challenge ☆ ↳ stage mix (one song) + your bias → jungkook x dionysus stages
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fumifooms · 1 year
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Analysis of Laios’ succubus and theories on what it means - deep dive on Laios’ desires in human connections
Laios’ succubus is a very odd incident. I have some particular interpretations of why it was Marcille, and why things went down the way they did.
We know that a succubus shows what one desires, stated in canon as “an alluring form”; yes often in a romantic or sexual sense, as seen with Chilchuck’s succubus being entirely set on looks and seduction, meanwhile Marcille’s does have a focus on chivalrous noble demeanor as well, showing romantic behavior and personality. BUT with Izutsumi we also see that the liaison doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual at all, either, in Izutsumi’s case it’s a familial bond she craves. So perhaps we can say that the succubus exploits a desire based on connection, in whichever form that takes. Marcille wants an emotional connection foremost(which is also reflected in how it’s a character she knows very well and not a stranger. Perhaps romantic.), Chilchuck wants pleasure(a simple pleasure not unlike alcohol, perhaps such a connection is free of the more risky or unpleasant parts of a relationship, he doesn’t have to worry or to think and can just let himself go. Sexual.), Izutsumi wants a mother figure that can offer her warmth and comfort with who she doesn’t have to be tough (Familial), and I believe Laios’ is platonic and centered on his desire to have people with who he belongs and can be himself with…
But Laios’ case is more complex, it has layers. The thing is, even if Laios wanted to have someone able to turn him into a monster—which it didn’t even have to be, could straight up have just been a monster with such powers—, it didn’t have to be someone he knew. You could say the succubus wanted to disarm Laios’ suspicions with someone he knew and that was nearby, but the succubus seem very direct in every other case, simply appearing with someone’s greatest appearance even though both Marcille and Chilchuck were fully on guard and the succubi knew it. "Believability" isn’t an important factor. No, his succubus being someone he knew was important. It being Marcille was important.
There’s a TLDR at the end of this if you want to cut it short. For everyone else, strap in everyone, if you don’t know me hi I’m Fumi and I made this 3k words long analysis and theorizing bc I am autistic much like the character in question and I think this is both fascinating and has a lot to say. In this I offer both platonic and romantic reasonings and I do go rather in depth in Laios’ psychology and relationships to dissect what ever could this damn cryptic event MEAN. Spoilers for the succubus chapters obviously and also the last few arcs of the series so… Spoilers for the series as a whole!
So attraction wise it’s kinda unsure where Laios stands. He does sort of logically list off aesthetically pleasing traits of the orc’s wives, but besides that… Not really, or he never voices it anyways. He and Marcille never share like “omg you’re pretty” moments or anything. Senshi gets more compliments than either of them through the series lmfao. Maybe Laios is asexual, maybe he simply doesn’t show outwardly his attraction much or even maybe isn’t self-aware about it, regardless… Laios HAS implied preference for Marcille’s looks in the past. With the orcs, he said that “tallmen like long ears”. Laios’ shapeshifter of Marcille has her hair down just like her succubus, which by Kui is explained to be because she had it down when she revived Falin and it really marked him, though it could also be interesting to see it as his mental image of her as her most authentic self, I’ve seen it theorized that it’s a preference too but I think that’s disproven. But of course the most damning evidence itself… The succubus scene. It could have been anyone else in the party, certainly Senshi shares Laios’ interest in monsters much more already. We shouldn’t discredit the way Laios was blushing madly once she revealed she was a monster, that made her more attractive to Laios for sure, but he still wouldn’t have reacted that way if it was just anyone. The contexts are very different, but we can compare it to how Laios reacted when Lycion turned into a wolf man in front of him for instance. Laios certainly doesn’t act that way with Izutsumi- and it’s confirmed like a page later that he does see Izutsumi as a monster already. AND!! Laios starts blushing madly BEFORE she says that she can turn him into a monster- and we can safely assume that the blush isn’t out of simple fluster but out of desire/infatuation since he clearly wants her to bite him in the next page and his blush does not relent at all.
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There’s something we could say about Laios’ liking of Marcille being born out of companionship rather than aesthetic attraction, on familiarity and intimacy. As members of the same party they’ve spent a lot of time together and we’ve seen that Laios trusts in her and relies on her for her skillset and avice. If Laios’ interest in her developped more naturally and gradually, valuing the familiar bond they have, I don’t see why he’d be acting all blushy and lovesick every time they interact or whatever, which is the explanation I have for Marcille genuinely being Laios’ most alluring form but him not freezing at the sight of it. That could also be a reason why he physically rejects succubus!Marcille instinctively, because something about her feels off or different (which is sorta the most direct interpretation of the scene, since Laios’ first thought is that it can’t be Marcille and must be a monster).
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 [Edited in: Oh my god. The picture above is the last page of the dullahan chapter, chapter 57, a chapter that centers around Laios and Marcille’s relationship through flashbacks as Laios is on the brink of death and sees his life flashing before his eyes (he remembers how they first met, etc, which is also interesting to note that on the brink of death he reminisces about her the most). The last page of that chapter, more or less the thesis of the chapter in which we see Laios opens up about the real reason he and Falin go dungeon diving to her after them having a rough meeting but she turns out to also have an interest in dungeons, has Laios go "she starts out frowning but she ends up smiling! Wether its’s about eating monsters or about me :)”. That chapter is the one right before th succubus chapters. Laios’ most alluring form wasn’t “just” Marcille, it’s a SMILING Marcille. Which is why the succubus had such a weird and off demeanor right away (which gets knocked off once it doesn’t work and becomes a more Marcille-like Marcille)! It was only focused on smiling because it was the angle it was working from.
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Oh my god it makes sense. It’s a direct narrative link, it’s as explicitly put with its story structure without Kui just stating it, besides, you know, the many times Laios says how precious her smile is to him. He’s like “I love her smile” and right next chapter the succubus is like “yes this is what he likes seeing most”. But… This also does mean that the focus might be less romantic, like Marcille’s significance doesn’t diminish, but then the alluring form might be less about her and more about the smile itself. About having a friend who looks at him like that, about someone who smiles after eating monster dishes or surpassing obstacles together… Or it can actually be so much more romantic. Like, maybe the smiling Marcille doesn’t work is because well, it’s not like Marcille, she wouldn’t just be smiling like that and behave like that (esp since his musing is about how her smiles are sort of “earned”, that she doesn’t smile right away but it’s sort of like a rewarding sight when she does). So then the most alluring form of Marcille doesn’t work because she doesn’t convincingly BEHAVE like her. His most alluring form isn’t a Marcille-lookalike, it’s her as a whole. More on the succubus shifting/switching in its approach later.]
Anyways.
Where was I. Ah yes, “It could have been anyone else in the party, certainly Senshi shares Laios’ interest in monsters much more already.” But then that’s the point isn’t it. I think Laios’ succubus being Marcille is because his wish isn’t so much focused on her, or on becoming a monster, but on not being alone. On being understood. On having others finally share his interest. On not only becoming a monster, but having someone to share that with. A trusted friend, a companion, or a lover, it matters little in my interpretation, the bedrock of it stays the same. And this is why it’d be someone he already knew instead of someone new, because it’d defeat the point, and it was maybe Marcille because she’s the most vocal about finding monsters disgusting: it’d have finally been a shift in her that she now liked monsters. And again this brings back to when he talks about her smile, when he says that she starts out unhappy with eating monsters, but ends up smiling by the end of it. Her smile itself represents that though first impression or reflexive dislike, someone can turn around and end up liking it anyways, it’s hope for his interests to be liked and perhaps for him to be lovable as well, that it’s possible to be accepted.
But I do think it would be a mistake to say that there’s absolutely no romantic interest, that it’s plainly platonic or another kind of interest misplaced and idealized in her. What we saw with the other succubus is that they 100% act in ways that the person desires, sure Izutsumi’s start attacking after a while, but that was after pushing them over the edge, and succubus Marcille wasn’t being agressive nor did she have a reason to be (even when she could have with Laios’ choking, she didn’t turn to violence, so she was 100% still in seduction mode). Ultimately the goal of the succubus is to make physical contact to be able to suck their essence, but the way they go about achieving that is tailored to the individual’s desire, Marcille’s kissed her hand and Izutsumi’s offered a hug.  The succubus can identify and embody complex desires, often subconscious ones, shown with Izutsumi’s. They go straight to it without complex subterfuge either. Chilchuck’s succubi were very direct because that’s what he wanted, Marcille’s was courtly because that’s what she wanted, Izutsumi’s offered motherly comfort and affection because that’s what she wanted, and Laios’ is Marcille attempting to kiss him. Let that sink in.
Laios why are you choking the supposed key to your heart?
Ok so the theory that Laios’ desire is to have a deeper companionship from an existing companion is pretty tame and surface level I’d say, but strap in… The way Laios reacted violently to Marcille trying to kiss him is VERY interesting. The first thing he thinks about is that she isn’t Marcille so she must be a succubus, then confusion at to why it’s her. He’s even afraid of what the others would think, feeling… Shame? With how he imagines Marcille would be horrified that he likes her that way. Fear of rejection?
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But no no, what interests me is the shift that the succubus makes. It seemed very confident at first, went straight in, but when overpowered shifted the direction it was going in- shifted from a desire for Marcille to a desire for a monster Marcille and whatever deeper desire that hides. But??? Succubi did not make mistakes as to what someone wanted thus far, possibly that has never ever happened before by human records. Could the succubus truly have miscalculated what Laios desires? It’d be hard to imagine that the succubus would misunderstand what type of companionship someone wished for or what approach to take, since it’s done complex cases before too, Izutsumi being very much in denial before it & at first. In Izutsumi’s case, even with her complex feelings over it and her two souls desiring different things, the succubus did not miss its mark, and ultimately it was having a second soul for who the succubus wasn’t alluring that allowed her not to be frozen to the spot. But with Laios the succubus fully switches strategy.
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The thing is that succubi don’t usually need to switch strategies, because the form and approach they take always work and always leave the victim frozen. Izutsumi bypassed this because of her two souls, but was still frozen and struggling to reject the succubus at first. And yet? Laios did. A succubus’ victim is supposed to be instantly frozen, and yet Laios acts on instinct and defensively agressive as soon as his reaction time allows. And well, it’s hard to really come to a logical conclusion as to why, since we have no idea of what rules can override a succubus’ temptation besides multiple souls… C’mon regular Marcille can’t be the winged lion/kenksuke’s desire bc of the loose hair being Laios’ mind-Marcille we’ve gone over this /hj Although, since it’s confirmed that the winged lion was watching with the dream Laios gets induced right after, maybe he’s what allowed Laios to be moving? It’s possible that it’d have frozen him otherwise, even if Laios with his full rationale wouldn’t have accepted the kiss faced with supernatural allure he might have gotten paralysis from being overwhelmed, similarly to how if Chilchuck had his full rationale he wouldn’t allow a woman like his succubus to kiss him (he’s always stayed faithful to his wife even after 4 years of separation, give the guy his earned credit). Getting somewhat offtopic, but something to say about how if that’s the case once again the theme of ‘irrational desire you crave vs what you truly want/need’ that is present throughout the manga would be reflected.
My best guess however on why Laios reacted so quickly and forcefully is: trauma. The more recent arcs with Laios suggest that Laios has deep-seated trauma over humans. He dislikes humans as a whole, that was like, pretty much stated, though perhaps exaggerated. As a kid he fantasized about monsters wiping out human towns. We know Laios has been ostracized for most of his life by others, in his village and in the military, and beyond social rejection it’s shown he got beaten in group too and it was implied that it happened regularly. But damn, disliking humans to the point of wanting to be a monster and murderous genocidal reclusive envies and all of that stuff? That is massive trauma, massive identity & belonging issues and hint at massive trust issues.
So then, the negative reaction could be because of Laios’ deep trauma with humans. Because of trauma getting activated, not due to a miscalculation on the succubus’ part but due to a contradicting dislike of the desire that makes the form inherently and straight out of the gate un-alluring, Laios’ repression being so strong that he’s able to affect his own desires in that way, or an instinctive defense response to the trigger (a human).   Even though Laios hides it well, once again recent arcs (and some other moments) make it clear that Laios still has some innate dislike of humans, which in canon is a term that all races like elves fit in. He has a bias against them, perhaps even an innate distrust of them. Who knows how aware he is of it, or how much control and will he has over it. What if Laios reacting agressively to it was his defense mode tied to this kicking in, a survival and security instinct, stopping any possibility of Laios wanting a romantic relationship with a human? Any chance of that human getting close and being hurt by it, either rejected or stabbed in the back? It’d then make sense if Laios is unaware and doesn’t understand his attraction to Marcille then, if it’s a sort of self-made blockage, denial. And that’d make full sense with how, when Marcille is suddenly a monster, then all of Laios’ reluctance is gone and he’s fully enthralled, all that it took was taking away that one blockage for Laios to be utterly charmed. It takes away the trigger element, humans, and replaces it for something safer. A desire for connections, but connections with people that are ‘safe’, people who also don’t fit in with society, who are part of his interest in monsters, who would accept and understand him. I think that Laios does desire human connections, specifically, but can’t allow himself to pursue them either from conscious or unconscious trauma, so though he does desire it he can’t accept that he does/can’t accept the relationship even if it’s handed to him on a silver platter.
Conclusion
The succubus’ shift could then be either that it switched from one wish, a wish for Marcille, to another, a wish for companionship in monster-liking, or that it stayed on the same fundamental wish, but had to improvise with the new information (that Laios is human-averse)(not bc it didn’t exist previously but bc it wasn’t manifested) to take out of the equation the thing that was holding Laios back (from giving in).
But well, the fact that the rest of the party is included does lean towards the former, but in any case that doesn’t erase all I’ve spoken about, all about how Marcille is 100% the focus of this whole thing. It could still be a bit of both. But it is interesting that he worries about the party’s reaction to seeing his succubus being Marcille, and when she shifts into monster Marcille he *still* worries about the others: “b-but what about the others?” He’s a mess, with his most alluring form seducing him, and he still has a shred of resistance in him to question how the others would react, and it’s only when she says that they’re already monsters too that he truly gives in. Is he really so afraid of ostracization? Of losing the people he cares about due to judgement? Then the mention of the others in the party can simply be something the succubus added on top to unlock another “blockage”, the same way she added Marcille being a monster on top of the basic premise of Marcille; Take out the immediate dismissal of humans first, and then the fear of loss and judgement from other friends so Laios can finally stop worrying and give in. That worry/framing I’d say makes the latter more credible, because it’s not the premise of the alluring form but an extra.
In the end, like the recent arcs kind of spell out, the thing central to Laios’ character is less so a love for monsters and moreso a dislike for humans, and this is what this puts on full display.
Laios’ most alluring form is Marcille, a human that doesn’t understand his interests and thus him, and regardless of everything else that Marcille is, that is so traumatic to him that all of his being immediately rejects it.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk! I’ve spent so much time thinking about this and wording and rewording this same train of thought, also it’s the end of my college semester and I’m going crazy
Tldr: My personal fav theory for Laios’ succubus is that Laios really values Marcille’s smile a ton like it’s often mentioned, and that’s what his most alluring form centers on. I’ve got a ton of different interpretation on the why it’d go for a kiss? Since it tailors its approach to the person’s desires, but obviously something goes wrong with Laios’, which is really interesting because even with Izutsumi who resists because she has 2 souls so one part of her can always remain unaffected, the succubus hit bullseye on her most alluring forms. But regardless of that, I think his desire for Marcille (either her or what she represents, wether as a platonic ideal or something else) isn’t wrong/untrue perse, but that Laios has such a complex with humans and intimacy and connecting with others that his defense mode kicks in and that’s when the succubus has to shift into a different, safer desire: one that doesn’t involve humans but that still shows connections and acceptance and belonging. Also Laios realizes that it isn’t Marcille when she goes in for the kiss, which if his allure for her is based on familiarity since they’re friends and all could make sense that it’d break him away from it, or since it’s a liking based on familiarity he doesn’t freeze, or maybe it’s because the winged lion has its eye on him. I think that’s so much more likely with how Kui makes even her jokes be character moments or at least consistent, and also with the tension of the scene, than just the scene being a gag about how Marcille doesn’t mean much to Laios actually.
I think there’s a lot to be said about why Marcille is special to Laios, why her smile means something to him, etc, and I don’t think saying Marcille is special to him is exaggeration or reaching at all. Laios, Marcille and Falin are the golden trio, she’s the deuteragonist, she’s the only other character in the main party whose goal in going back for Falin is Falin and who has a bond with her and Laios outside of being coworkers, in post-canon they live together, happily, in the anime’s ending they’re emphased on by dining out all three together... I could go on.   Marcille has the benefit of being very trusted by Laios, not only with the time they’ve spent together but how she was Falin’s friends first, the person he himself feels so protective of and has been so consistently ostracized throughout her life. Marcille represents a positive odd one out that’s like, the good example of "humanity can be good and safe and warm actually".  Which is a big reason why imo Marcille is like, the secondary protag and with Falin they form the golden trio. She’s central to the story in many ways including making Laios see that humanity is worth saving and sticking with, but that’s a topic for another analysis. One such reason is how his first meeting with her went: it started really badly but ended with her coming around and unexpectedly sharing their interest in dungeons, which made him and Falin open up about the real reason they go dungeon diving, perhaps for the first time. There is just so much that goes into it but Laios seems generally very expectant of rejection: in the climax chapters after he transformed back as a human and was hiding out in the woods, pre-canon in an extra where we see him battling himself on if he should suggest eating monsters or not. But another one, the one I truly want to bring up in this post, is how genuine Marcille is! And funnily enough, how dramatic she is, and how her elf ears change position depending on her emotions. Like, let me compare her affectionately to a dog for a second, but dogs move their ears and use whole body language to communicate, and I think that part of Marcille, really strong emoting, with her ears and body language on top of her often dramatic facial expressions, reassure him. Like ok, maybe he can’t tell when Shuro and Kabru would lie to him, but Marcille? She wears her heart on her sleeve and her feelings on her whole self. And that takes away some of the stress and trauma he has with humans, explains why her smiles would “put him at ease”, doesn’t it?
I don’t remember wether I’ve mentioned this somewhere or just in my reblog linked at the end of the post, but while at first I thought the succubus going for a kiss on the lips heavily implied a romantic desire in Laios,  now I have a couple different theories on why the succubus would have gone for that approach. I think the most likely is that, if the principal allure of his succubus is her smile, the succubus is like "as long as he sees her face right up until i can suck up his blood and he passes out I’ll be gucci", so it’s not about the kiss but about him seeing her face all the while until the very last moment, so he stays charmed.
Btw chapter 34 explores Laios’ relationship with touch too imo, and we see that he is uncomfortable with touch to some degree, very unsure and hesitant and tense. I feel like it’s something more shown in a bigger picture sense with his whole struggles with humans and extras, than just in any one page so go reread the beginning of that chapter if you want I’d say, but putting a page below as example anyways. I think it’s notable that it’s a character moment shared with Marcille too, she acts sort of like a bridge to humanity with social propriety and being extroverted in many cases. In the chapter Chil and Marcille point out how awkward he is with touch, but he learns to be casual/comfy enough about touch to do healing magic with her (something that was also enforced through him having to practice magic on Marcille turned to stone, he got a lot of touch exposure and magic practice done in those days. Dammit Laios, MArcille and touch is worthy of a whole analysis of its own). She’s just like, his human comfort zone, even if they aren’t that close at least at first, besides Falin he has literally like no friends and I think that itself shows how he doesn’t fit in well socially and that it’s a significant struggle for him. But yes what I was saying here is I believe there’s setup for him recoiling from touch like he did with the succubus (due to an instinctive aversion to touch made especially intense due to the succubus’ oddness and forwardness).
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I have even more theories and rambling on details on the succubus here in a reblog, but unless I want to put in some pictures of Laios repressing himself around others and such I don’t think I’ll be touching this post again in a while
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chthonicarcher · 24 days
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hi archer can u draw equius & nepeta sharig a twin pop im dreamin of summar
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♌️♦️♐️ first request of the day!! ♌️♦️♐️
I thought about doing them all in jspaint, but this one took me literally all day yesterday 😭 so I’m gonna go ahead and use Procreate for the rest LOL
thank u randy for the tips n tricks AND for making the pretty background gradient for me <3 (jspaint why cant u do the neat gradient trick HUH?? c’mon man)
anyway!! send me an ask if you’ve got a request and I will do my best to get to it today! 🥰
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miniiieevee · 1 year
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Let Me Explain Everything
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pleuro · 5 months
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summer went away, still the yearning stays
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