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green-enby · 9 months

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Heyo! Have you watched Koisenu Futari (恋せぬふたり, Two people who can't fall in love) yet? It's a great series, just 8 episodes long! I binged it in one day :) [smiley]

It focuses on two aromantic asexual people living together. This is a little appreciation post, containing some thoughts that it evoked in me as an aroace.

If you don't want spoilers, please don't read!

It's so relatable how Sakuko keeps blaming herself all throughout the show… Insecurity stemming from societal expectations that dictate romance is for everyone, and that people who don't date are somehow "failing" in life; I think this affects allos as well.

When I broke off my romantic relationship, I too felt like it had been my fault, for not having been a good enough partner, for not being able to love them in the same way they loved me.

To finally learn that you are not "defective", that there's other people like you…! I love how the two MCs don't grieve their lack of attraction; Sakuko is perfectly happy discovering she's aroace. She and Takahashi are living their "best life" together.

Sure, many aroaces do wish they were allo, and that needs to be represented too, but this series to me really shined a light over why they want that: it's because amatonormativity is rampant in the world, not because lacking attraction is inherently sad. The main conflicts in the series stem from the clash between allo society and the aroace experience, after all. I think that's neat! It gave me a good dose of aroace joy—while still showing the hurts that come with it, realistically—and I really needed it.

I didn't expect her to come out to her family so soon, but whoa, that was intense. Her mother's negative reaction is what all people who exclude a-spec people from the LGBTQIA+ community should see, to understand that we face the same issues they do.

I haven't come out to my parents as aroace yet, and watching this made me realize how awful it actually feels to be in the closet. I somehow hadn't realized I am. I've always felt safe coming out to them as other things, as bisexual back in the day, and as trans non-binary.

It might be because my confidence disappeared when they reacted badly both times, but this coming out feels almost impossible.

Comparing it to coming out as bi, it's really not that different: if you're bi, you're promiscuous and date too many people; if you're aroace, you're a prude and cold-hearted. If you break away from the status quo, you're wrong either way.

But at least, most people do eventually understand the bi experience, if they understand same-gender attraction, and fuse it with straightness, even though it's a flawed method.

With aros and aces, instead, it's such an alien concept for an allo, which makes it way harder to come out and have to explain to them how to deconstruct allo-amatonormativity. It's exhausting. Thankfully, there's people like Kazu who are actually willing to learn about us. That gives me hope.

I feel like it's super eye-opening to find out the concept of romance didn't even exist in the past. Pretty sure that in Europe, it originated during the Middle Ages from the ideal of chivalry. So it's really just a social construct, and opting out of it shouldn't be so controversial!

It's just a set of pointless, annoying rules like having to kiss eachother, having to say "I love you", and doing it all a set amount of times, otherwise it's not good enough. What if we don't want to? What if it doesn't come natural to us? If it's just a social construct, fuck it, I'm not adhering to that! We do whatever makes us happy!

Even in the series itself, Sakuko too goes through a heartbreak, even if it's not the romantic kind: she valued her friendship and future cohabitation with Chizuru above all else, but Chizuru abandoned her, because of romantic love. It's not true that aroaces have it easy.

Like our MC, we have to deal with fear that we'll come off flirty when we're just being friendly, confusion over concepts that we feel we should understand, shame over the fact that we're different, fear of loneliness, frustration and pain that we'll always come second to our friends' romantic partners, or even trauma from a relationship or sexual encounter that we didn't really want. I could go on and on.

These last scenes really got to me. Especially the second one… I admit that I cried, when she had to turn her down, and it seemed like her aromanticism had ruined their relationship. It hurts that the way I am could seriously harm someone I care about. It hurts that most people work differently and that they can't help it, and that we can't help it either. I don't like being put in that position, to cause someone a heartbreak. I have with my ex, and had to watch them spiral down… It was horrible.

Still, I wouldn't change my orientation for the world. I'm confident in my identity, I love being aroace.

In the end, we can all reach our full potential, reach a point where we feel fulfilled and that we're living our best life, find ourselves a family if it's what we want, have our dream job and house. Being aroace doesn't condemn us to a life of unhappiness. That's what this series left me with by the end; it gave me so much hope for my future.

(I'm aware I'm coming off as a bit toxically positive here haha, sorry if I'm striking a bad chord; I'm just in a really good period right now, and riding this wave for as long as I can! Hopefully I can rub it off someone else as well.)

That said, I really loved this j-drama, it was funny and relatable and emotional, I wished it had lasted longer! It seems like the author isn't even aroace herself, so I'm amazed at how good the representation was! So much thought and research has gone into it, and it shows; the result is amazing.

Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts about this! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

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sirthisisa-wendys · 1 year

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Sis, I need Mistuya x reader x Draken smut PLEASE! On my knees crying

the dragon bros need some loving

Draca: Mitsuya Takashi x Fem!Reader x Ken Ryuguji

wc: 741

tw: smut, fantasy AU

masterlist

Laughter booms in the tavern as you post up near the knights in the back, spreading mugs of mead into the circle.

"I've never seen a basilisk that big," a blonde man chuckles, tipping the mug back and listening to his friends continue the story. A purple-haired knight picks up the tale, giving props to each member at the table for their part in the battle.

"Another round?" you wonder, sweeping by and filling the empty mugs. "It's on the house."

"Here, here," the blonde laughs, raising his cup. "A toast to the lovely barmaid!" Everyone echoes the cheer, and you giggle. It's not long before a few take off, but you keep the knights full with mead as the night goes on.

Once the tavern is close to closing, you notice only two are left. There's a purple-haired one and the same blonde who cheered you earlier, both seeming unphased and stone-cold sober.

"Are y'all doing alright?" you wonder as you pass by, smiling at the handsome men.

"I actually have a bet with my friend here," the blonde begins, pointing at the purple-haired one. "Mitsuya thinks you've been at this business for a while, so you've seen many knights pass through here. Were you here when the Black Dragons were the knights of the land?"

"That was before my time," you chuckle, leaning over to grab their empty cups. "I learned the business - right before the group ended their first generation - from my father about how to run a tavern when I was just eight."

"So you're not too old," Mitsuya jokes, and the blonde swats at him. "What, Draken?"

"Be a gentleman!"

"I'm not too old," you smile, wagging your brows. "I've seen a few things here and there."

"Have you ever had someone try to flirt with you as you're working?" Draken wonders.

"Sure," you shrug. "I have two knights trying to flirt with me right now." Mitsuya and Draken blush, but one tries to hide it while the other smirks. "I'm gonna shut this place down for the evening, but you two can stay for a nightcap if you want." You wink and sashay away, expecting them to scurry out of the tavern and never reappear. But when they remain long after you've closed, you know they want something you've got to offer.

You find yourself stuck between them, making out with Draken as Mitsuya fucks you from behind, his hands holding your hips with care. Draken's fisting his cock, stroking it leisurely while you suck on his bottom lip.

"Bend over," Draken urges you, his dark eyes watching as you bow at the waist and hold onto his hips. "Pout for me." You obey, and he taps his dickhead against your lips, humming while staring at you. "So pretty..."

You open your mouth and let him slide his length over your tongue, tasting the salty precum with pride. Draken slowly thrusts into your mouth, holding your head and angling his hips back and forth. "Ah, fuck." Draken leans his head back and groans just as Mitsuya deepens his strokes. You bob back and forth on Draken's girthy cock, saliva trailing from your lips as you gag.

Mitsuya speeds up, and you moan around the cock in your mouth, making Draken hiss and buck his hips. You reach a hand down to play with your clit, the tips brushing against Mitsuya's balls while he fucks you.

"Such a sweet girl..." Mitsuya mumbles, reaching up to tweak your nipples. "Haven't felt the warmth of a woman in so long, have we, Ken?"

Draken grunts in agreement, pulling out his cock and jerking it in front of your face. It isn't long before he cums in your open mouth, each ribbon of cum coating your tongue. You swallow, then show Draken your empty mouth, to which he hums and pats your cheek lovingly.

Mitsuya doesn't take too much time cumming on your ass, pulling out just in time to get every drop right where he wants it.

"We'll come back at the end of every campaign," he promises, huffing softly. "You're truly skilled at being a good host."

"If anyone asks, this place has the best hospitality," Draken grins. "The kind we like."

"Come back anytime," you urge the two of them, standing up and wiping your ass off with a bar towel. "I'd be happy to have you here to keep me company."

taglist: @bertholdts--butt

#ken ryuguji smut #mitsuya takashi smut #mitsuya takashi x reader #takashi mitsuya #ken ryuguji x reader #ken ryuguji #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers

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maochira · 1 year

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Working at Blue Lock/father figure!Ego introduction

Tags: gn!reader, overworker and overachiever!reader, reader is a graphic designer, artist and assistant at Blue Lock

A/N: I want to make this a series so feel free to request more for father figure!Ego!! A part two to this will come soon as well! Also, this originally goes for one of my Blue Lock OCs, but I want to write it as an x reader for you guys to enjoy and because I prefer writing reader inserts💟

Working at Blue Lock is your first job ever, so ever since the beginning you swore to yourself that you'll put all of your power and passion into this. Especially because of how passionate Ego is about Blue Lock, you want to do your best to help him

Ego tends to give you very tight deadlines almost all the time. It's to be expected that at least once a day he'll tell you something like "You need to do this until tomorrow", or "I have this speech planned later, you need to do this until then", but nothing about that ever bothered you. It's on the opposite side, you've always been happy about getting tasks from him and feel good about being helpful to the project.

Most of your work consists of designing and drawing player icons and all the graphics Ego shows on his screens during his speeches. Every time he holds his speeches, you're in the back of the room to watch. To you, it's like seeing your work come to life, and that's always been your dream.

Ego often criticizes your work when you show him your ideas or sketches. But that's part of working as a graphic designer and artist. Even though his criticism tends to come off as harsh and cold, you're always happy to follow his wishes. And hey, in the end, it's always worth it because you get at least a little bit of praise. It's never much, usually just a simple "Good work, (Y/N)-chan" but for you, it's enough.

But due to your hard work, you pull at least one all-nighter a week. You'd still be able to finish all your tasks on time even if you got a healthy amount of sleep, but you always get so lost in your work that it keeps you awake all night. A part of that is passion, but another part is your overworking nature.

You rarely tell Ego and Anri about your all-nighters, you either act as if you got up extra early or just briefly mention something like "I couldn't fall asleep" and laugh it off. Ego never showed any concern over it, but Anri certainly did.

And for the first months, sleep deprivation didn't have that many effects on you. Surprisingly. Your passion kept you going. Well, until you pulled an all-nighter after a night with only 3 hours of sleep. Even caffeine couldn't save you anymore. You really try to keep your eyes open, but they get so heavy that they just close on their own and you end up falling asleep at your desk.

In the meantime, Ego is rewatching recordings of Blue Lock matches, until he sees you asleep at your desk. His first instinct is to wake you up and yell at you to continue your work, but he's so hesitant about it, he changes his mind after second thought. He remembers how you've been working extra hard lately and knows your current task isn't that urgent, so he simply lets you sleep.

But when you wake up, a rush of panic runs through your body. You immediately look up at your computer which has gone into sleep mode by now. You turn around to see Ego, still sitting on his chair.

"You finally woke up, huh?" His voice doesn't give off any particular emotion, but you automatically think he's mad at you for falling asleep during your work hours.

You open your mouth to apologize, but your mind is still a bit fuzzy and not properly awake yet. Before any words actually get out, Ego continues: "It was about time you got some proper sleep."

"Sorry, I've been-"

"No need to apologize," Ego interrupts you, "Just don't let this happen again."

"I won't, I promise." You answer before turning your computer back on, ready to finish whatever you were working on before you fell asleep.

"You really need to take better care of yourself." Ego tells you in a stern voice. "Get more sleep and pay attention to your health. I don't want you to get sick."

"Oh?" You turn around to face his direction. What he said makes you laugh a little. "Aren't you the one with eyebags who only eats instant noodles?"

Ego is slightly taken aback by your response and for a moment he struggles to find an answer. "Are you talking back to me?" Is the only thing he manages to come up with.

"I wouldn't call it talking back," you answer as you turn your head back to your computer, "I'm just surprised why you'd care more about me than taking care of yourself."

And with this, you've got yourself your own personal Ego speech.

"Listen, (Y/N)-chan. I 'care' for you in a way an employer cares for one of his workers. Because that's what you and I are. I can't have you getting sick or breaking down because you exhaust yourself too much. That would mean I would have to look for a temporary replacement which would cost time and money. Plus, your work is great even under these conditions and I doubt I'd find anyone else who's as passionate about this as you are. But even with that, I don't want you to exhaust yourself this much again. It's true that I appreciate your hard work, but with your hard work comes the need of taking care of yourself. Understood?"

Halfway through his speech, you turned back to look at him again. His expression and tone are not much different from how he usually is, but what he says still surprises you in some way. You and Ego never had a deeper conversation on anything, but this is starting to pick up your curiosity, so you decide to continue.

"That still doesn't explain why you'd tell me to take better care of myself when you uhm, you know."

"Leading Blue Lock comes with its sacrifices." Ego responds, "If I'll lose sleep over it, I'm willing to sacrifice that. But I'm not willing to let you sacrifice your health."

"So you're worried about me?"

Ego lets out a short frustrated sigh. "As I already said, I care for you in a way an employer cares for their worker. You're not much more than a tool to help my dream come alive."

You only nod in response and return to your work. You want to continue this conversation, but Ego's frustrated sigh is a sign to stop.

Even though what Ego said could definitely hurt someone's feelings, especially because of his stern tone, just him mentioning he cares about you in some way makes you happy. Sure, to him you're not much more than a tool to achieve his dream, but that still means you have some sort of important role for him. Be it in an employer-worker way, you're just happy to be useful.

As you continue your given task, Ego finds himself unable to concentrate on his own work. He thinks of his own words he just said to you moments ago and they keep repeating in his head until he wonders if he even spoke the truth.

Sure, in theory, you're not much more than an employee to him. But something about seeing how you overworked yourself and even sacrificed a lot of sleep just for the tasks he's given you made him truly realize how hard you've been working ever since the beginning of Blue Lock. It awakened some sort of protectiveness over you inside of him.

And even when he's back to focusing on his work every now and then his gaze wanders over to you with slight concern. He can't help but ask himself: Is this the kind of protectiveness a father feels about their child?

#honestly this is also a self insert thing for myself but psh #bllk #blue lock #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #blue lock ego #bllk ego #ego x reader #ego x you #ego jinpachi x reader #ego jinpachi x you #jinpachi ego x reader #jinpachi ego x you #ego jinpachi #jinpachi ego

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chiskz · 1 year

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▶️ Felix and Chichi being a duo you can't resist (FeliChi cute moments)

♡𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @alyszaen , @smh-anon , @neohyxn , @stealanity , @alixnsuperstxr , @juliawritingblog , @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs , @qtnoaly

《♡》

🎬🎬🎬

Felix's messages on Bubble from the time Chichi had a bad cold and had to stay alone in her room. Felix sent a photo of his dinner on the table, opposite which his tablet was leaning against a bowl of fruit. A video call with Chichi was going on on the tablet, who was also eating her dinner.

"Eating with Chichi! We are separate, but still together. I hope she recovers quickly having us and STAY's love!"

🎬🎬🎬

skz-talker. felix speaks into the camera, and chichi hides behind him, making first horns, then rabbit and teddy bear ears, and finally a heart behind his head with her fingers.

🎬🎬🎬

skz-talker. backstage at one of the concerts. chichi sits on the couch next to felix, who is drinking a fruit shake. chichi touches him gently with her finger a few times, and he gives her a taste of it. her eyes beam all the way, suggesting that she really likes it. at this, felix immediately walks over to the food table and picks up second straw, which he puts in the drink, then returns to chichi. she looks then at the drink then at him, her eyes beginning to shine with tears by how moved she is by this gesture.

🎬🎬🎬

YFNChichi! episode. Chichi shows off her new phone case.

"Do you see it? It's a heart, a blue one. Or actually half of it. The other half is pink and Felix has it."

She laughs briefly, a little embarrassed.

"Cute, isn't it? We bought it once in a store in Tokyo, but only recently remembered about it. It's cute..."

🎬🎬🎬

tiktok. chichi and felix did the "sorry for being cute" challenge together. chichi planned to do it alone, but she was too shy and it didn't work out for her every time because she started laughing from embarrassment, so she asked felix to accompany her.

🎬🎬🎬

concert video. felix walks around the stage and waves to STAY as chichi runs up to him and even bumps into him as she fails to brake. she then takes him in her arms and lifts him up to spin around with him a few times. felix laughs, patting her playfully on the shoulder.

🎬🎬🎬

YFNChichi! episode. Chichi is in the kitchen of the other dorm wearing an apron.

"So, it's Felix's birthday soon."

Chichi claps her hands briefly.

"Felix always bakes us so many delicious things, so.... I'd like to return the favor somehow. I've never baked anything, so we'll see how it goes. In the end, I'll probably just buy some cake."

She laughs briefly and pulls two bowls out of the cabinet.

"After all, Felix might see it. He won't see it! He doesn't watch my lives. No member does. Besides, Felix is now filling his schedule..."

She nods her head determinedly. 15 minutes pass, Chichi opens the fridge to take out the eggs then goes back to the phone, reading the comments.

"What? Felix wrote on Bubble that you are doing well."

Chichi covers her mouth with hand, staring at the screen for a long moment, then slowly hides under the countertop in the same position.

🎬🎬🎬

video from the event. chichi and felix are standing next to each other posing for pictures, then they try to make a heart together. first chichi makes half of the heart from her fingers but felix makes half of the heart from his whole hand... then the other way around... and again the other way around until they finally give up.

🎬🎬🎬

skz-talker. felix sits at the makeup counter to have his eye shadow touched up. chichi, however, asks the makeup artist so she can do it. she sits down on the counter in front of felix and does his eyes makeup with concentration, felix is trying not to laugh. the makeup artist gently instructs her from the side.

🎬🎬🎬

one from MAXIDENT behind the stage episodes. felix starts talking about "Taste".

"Chichi did all the choreography herself. When she showed it to us together with the dancers we were like... wow, we're supposed to dance this? The choreography is really good and satisfying to dance. It's not too energetic, focusing more on controlling smooth body movements. The learning process was really interesting..."

He laughed briefly, glancing over his shoulder for a moment.

"Yeah. I'm more and more proud of her with each choreography, even though she's the one who's the most skilled at it. I don't know, I can't help it, I just always feel proud."

🎬🎬🎬

fansign footage. chichi sits down in front of felix pretending to be his fan. she puts her hands on the transparent thin wall between them, and felix can't resist and traces her hands with a pen marker.

🎬🎬🎬

felix's interview.

question: which member texts you the most these days?

felix thinks about the answer.

"i'm sure it's chichi. she recently started playing a game i've been playing for a while, so she often texts me with different questions. it's cute, especially because i know she really listens to my answers. every time we play together i can see she's getting better and better."

🎬🎬🎬

behind the stage to season's greetings. chichi poses for a moment with a lollipop for photos, then looks into the camera that is recording her. she smiles and waves the hand in which she is holding the lollipop. there is a transition to the interview part.

"ah is lollipop my favorite candy? noooo, my favorite candy is Lee Felix!"

she laughs then embarrassedly hides her face in her hands.

《 ♡ 》

#stray kids 9th member #kpop addition #kpop added member #kpop oc #stray kids oc #idol oc #stray kids female oc #stray kids added member #stray kids addition #stray kids extra member #skz imagines

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jackharlou · 2 years

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i was hoping youd do a full story or a blurb but hopefully a full story based off thumbs by lucy dacus?

Warning: mentions of a deceased mother and a bad father.

Your dad has come to town

He'd like to meet

"he's coming" - you murmured with your eyes glued to yo out phone, to the opened message on the screen of your phone.

"who?" - jack asked trying to look at your phone, but not being able because of the position he was in.

"the man who created me"

he knew the story. he knew how you loved that man with every cell in your body. he knew how one day he cheated on your mom and decided to create a family, leaving you two alone. he knew how bad it broke you to see your mom in pain, but trying to hold it together for you. he also knew you were alone when your mom passed, because he was on a trip with his a lot younger new wife.

he understands your insecurity issues come from that man, the man that was supposed to love and protect you.

So we meet him at a bar

He ordered rum and coke

I can't drink either anymore

"i'm getting a rum..." - the man you could never forgive asked the waitress, not without flirting a little with her. apparently she couldn't see the mark of a wedding band he has on his finger. you knew that if you asked he would say he took it off for some made up reason, but you know very well that he takes it off so he can freely flirt and get women everywhere he goes, or at least try, and you know that because he used to do the same thing with the ring your mom once slided on his finger.

he pushed you two to drink something with him, but you both declined the invitation. jack doesn't drink anymore and you can't. if that man knew you he would notice your swollen cheeks, how long your nails have gotten, how you complain about your back... but he didn't know you. he couldn't notice how the baby has been changing your body and the way jack acts around you.

Your nails are digging

Into my knee

I don't know

How you keep smiling

"sharon is so good with the kids, you should come home one day and meet them. i've told them about you" - he said, getting from you only a fake smile. you knew the kids weren't the issue, they weren't responsible of the fucked up things their dad have done, but you honestly didn't want to be a part of that lie. maybe one day when they're older you'll look for them but not now, not through that man.

jack could notice your fake smile, your sad and angry look, the way your knee bounced, just like you do when you're getting anxious, so he placed his hand on it and gave you a light squeeze, letting you know he was there with you. you looked at him and smiled while placing your hand on top of his.

I love your eyes

And he has them

"it's crazy how you have the same eyes but at the same time the way you look at life is completely different" - he said while driving home after that uncomfortable night.

"what do you mean?" - you asked.

"you look at everything and everyone around you with so much love, patience, peace, and you can just tell he isn't a nice person by the way he looks at things and people. i don't know, you seem so pure and warm and he seems so evil and cold"

I wanna take your face between my hands and say

"You two are connected by a pure coincidence..."

later into that night jack woke up to an empty bed, which he found odd, so he got up to look for you.

he knew something wasn't right when he found you sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall, looking at the pouring rain sliding on the backyard glass door - "baby, what's wrong?" - he asked sitting next to you.

"what if i turn out to be a bad parent, just like him?" - you asked with a shaky voice and tears falling down your cheeks.

"the way your eyes shine when we get to see our baby at the doctor's, the way you speak to our baby when you think no one is watching or listening, the bunch of books you've read and the hundreds of online classes you've taken, those and so many more things show how much you want and love our baby, and you haven't meet him or her yet. you already are a great mom and partner, you're nothing like him. and i promise you i'll never be like him. i will never leave you or our baby behind" - one thing you love about the man in front of you is how sincere and transparent he is, so it was very easy for you to soak in his words and believe him, your heart and soul really wanted to hold on to something and just be hopeful - "please, don't agree to see him ever again" - he asked.

"i won't, i won't let him hurt me again"

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fic #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow angst #jack harlow x reader

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minimoefoe · 9 months

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doctor who rewatch thoughts (eleventh doctor)

for each episode there is:

for each episode there's two things I like (✅️) and one thing I dislike (❌️) (sometimes more/less) and general thoughts overall along with a rating out of five stars

there's a quick list of ep ratings and average series ratings at the bottom of the post

🍎 5.01 the eleventh hour

✅️ not to be dramatic but 'why did you say five minutes' gives me literal chills every time I watch it ✅️ the scene on the roof, seeing all the prev doctors, 'im the doctor. basically, run.'

I just love it so much like... how can you not stan

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🐳 5.02 the beast below

✅️ the whole 'old, last just made it kind' thing is my fave thing ever and I love that amy figures it all out ❌️ I've always liked liz 10 but she made me cringe a bit this time round rip

overall love it a lot, the smiler things are creepy, the resolution is cool, I love star whales

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🪠 5.03 victory of the daleks

✅️ eleven losing it and attacking the dalek lmao ❌️ why is he best buddies with winston churchill

it's just a bit boring like.. I literally sometimes forget this ep exists

⭐️⭐️💫

🪖 5.04 the time of angels

✅️ eleven's attitude towards river, like annoyance but also intrigue idk ✅️ amy rubbing her eye and dust falling is v cool ✅️ eleven's lil speech at the end and the music

love it a lot, cool vibes, I'm a big weeping angels stan

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🪨 5.05 flesh and stone

✅️ amy and river's dynamic is cool, I kinda wish I could watch without knowing they're mother and daughter ✅️ the doctor losing it a lil bit and shouting. mixed feelings about it, could be a negative on a different day but rn I think it's good ❌️ I understand that amy has been through a lot and her feelings for the doctor are confusing but how hard she goes tryna kiss him is insane. like attempt once, get rejected, move on. we didn't need all of that

idk which part I ike more, they're both bangers

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🐟 5.06 the vampires of venice

✅️ rory's first proper adventure, him clocking and calling out the doctor instantly, you love to see it ✅️ the moments where eleven and amy just get really excited about the stuff that's going on ❌️ amy thinking its weird for the doctor to be seen as her brother but not rory. dumb as hell

overall it's a decent ep. not obsessed but also don't hate it. has some good moments

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🥶 5.07 amy's choice

✅️ when rory dies and amy shouts at the doctor and then decides that world is the dream ✅️ the dream lord being the doctor is very cool and idk I like seeing how the doctor really thinks of himself ❌️ far too many jokes about amy being big like.. planet? having rory call her chubs? not my fave

this is a great ep for getting clarity on how strongly amy really feels for rory, it's a shame the show back tracks and continues doing 'ooh who does she really love' moments

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🌏 5.08 the hungry earth

✅️ I like all the side characters ✅️ the doctor talking to/shouting at the silurian

overall a decent ep, not much to scream about but I like the vibes idk

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🦎 5.09 cold blood

✅️ them talking about how they could try and make humans and silurians live in peace was interesting ✅️ the doctor silurian guy was cool ✅️ nasreen

a decent ep, don't have much else to say. rip rory

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🌻 5.10 vincent and the doctor

✅️ how much vincent likes amy ✅️ the end scene with vincent at the gallery, obviously

the end doesn't get me quite like it used to, presumably bc I've seen it so many times, but it's a certified banger ep despite the mild sadness it causes

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🏠 5.11 the lodger

✅️ no companion (kinda) eleven is fun and I like seeing him trying and sometimes failing to be normal ✅️ I like craig sorry ✅️ the scene where eleven gibes craig all the info about who he is and why he's there ❌️ telling craig he looks like his sofa is a bit gross innit

overall a fun ep that I like a lot

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🛸 5.12 the pandorica opens

✅️ eleven realising rory is back ✅️ amy and rory chatting, amy crying, cut with river telling eleven what she's finding out and the kinda creepy music that plays

I don't think I praise this ep quite like some ppl do but I do like it. I've always just felt like there's a lot going on that my brain for some reason no matter how much I watch it, cannot fully take in so it feels a bit messy

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

💥 5.13 the big bang

✅️ obsessed with eleven hopping back and forth with the vortex manipulator ✅️ eleven punching rory ❌️ amy tryna kiss eleven at her wedding. literally piss off

there's something about the s5 finale where my brain refuses to retain whats going on. I mildly understand it but I couldn't explain it and anytime it's been explained to me I forget it pretty quickly afterwards. based on vibes and what I do know tho, it bangs

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🦈 a christmas carol

✅️ I love seeing the doctor interact with kids, especially eleven bc he basically is a kid lmao ✅️ silence is all you know is a BANGER ✅️ the idea of the doctor re-writing someone's life and that person watching it happen is pretty cool ❌️ idk if kazran and abigail really needed to get together, it's not the end of the world but does feel a lil weird that she's seen him grow up and then suddenly is like damn

overall a solid ep, always been a mild fave of mine. I like the music, I like the vibe, I like the story (for the most part), shoutout dumbledore

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

👩‍🚀 6.01 the impossible astronaut

✅️ the whole beach and initiations thing ✅️ river talking about how one day the doctor won't know who she is ❌️ americans

I feel like this is never really an ep I think much about but then when I watch it I'm like wait this does slap, ppl are right

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

📺 6.02 day of the moon

✅️ the resolution with the message within the moonlanding is cool ✅ river and the doctor kissing and river being sad when she realises it’s the doctor’s first time kissing her ❌️ the bit where they try and make us think amy might be talking about the doctor and not rory, literally stfu !!

preemptively gave it four stars when I still had like ten mins left, but there was some cool stuff in that last ten mins so

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

⚫️ 6.03 the curse of the black spot

✅️ rory high on siren song is funny ✅️ eleven has a lot of funny moments, specially early on, idk I like his vibes

I was not looking forward to watching this ep but it was fun actually, maybe I stan

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🦴 6.04 the doctor's wife

✅️ amy and rory running round the tardis is fun bc seeing more tardis is cool and it's also kinda creepy at points ✅️ the end where idris dies and eleven cries

funny, spooky, emotional. it has the range

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

😠 6.05 the rebel flesh

✅️ rory is so nice, I love him ✅️ the gangers have a couple of spooky moments and I like the cliffhanger ❌️ amy is mildly annoying

good ep

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

👬🏼 6.06 the almost people

✅️ the doctor(s) ✅️ more spooky moments ✅️ the moral stuff idk ❌️ I get feeling weird about the gangers but amy comes off as really nasty with the 'don't call me that please' bs and her general attitude in both eps. glad she changes her opinion in the end but making her be that strongly against them was defo a choice and makes rory look wayy better than her bc he accepts them as ppl almost instantly (which tbf didn't work out amazing for him but yknow)

I find eps with difficult moral questions really interesting but also really frustrating. overall a good ep but felt like it went on a bit

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🪖 6.07 a good man goes to war

✅️ vastra and eleven's mildly awkward chat about melody etc ✅️ the reveal that river is melody will get me every time ❌️ the fat and thin husbands moment was a bit weird

this isn't an ep I really think too much about spare for the river reveal but it is good idk. everyone coming together to save amy and the baby is cool

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🪼 6.08 let's kill hitler

✅️ the reveal that mels is river ✅️ the doctor and his cane, falling all over the place ✅️ river finding out who she is and saving the doctor ❌️ mels is really cringe and annoying sorry.. other than her final moments I am not a fan of her vibe at all

there's defo stuff going on in this ep that I'm not obsessed with but overall I do like it a lot, I think more than most ppl

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

😨 6.09 night terrors

✅️ rory being like 'oh my god we're dead aren't we' ✅️ eleven interacting with kids is always cute

actually better than I was expecting (last time I watching this ep I got bored and ended up skipping most of it) and is kinda creepy, but idc that much idk

⭐️⭐️💫

🤚🏻 6.10 the girl who waited

✅️ rory getting mad at the doctor ✅️ amy and amy talking to each other ✅️ rory and old amy talking at the end ❌️ amy pressing the red button.. embarrassing

overall I stan. obviously a great amy ep but also a great ep for rory too

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🦍 6.11 the god complex

✅️ rita, the fact the doctor instantly likes her and their interactions throughout the ep ✅️ the ppl who'd seen their rooms being all weird was cool ✅️ the reason they're there being bc of amy's faith in the doctor and rory being immune

an absolute banger, love it all, no choice but to stan

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

👶🏻 6.12 closing time

✅️ eleven interacting with children is so cute, I love him and alfie ✅️ the love confession distraction

there's actually so many small funny moments in this ep and i love craig and eleven as a duo, it's great idc

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

💍 6.13 the wedding of river song

✅️ amy killing madam kovarian ✅️ the wedding and river talking about how ofc ppl would be willing to help the doctor

an ep i've always had a love-hate relationship with bc there's aspects I enjoy but generally I thought it was just a bit odd. there's still a mild vibe there that i don't looove but I liked (and probably understood) it a lot more than I usually do

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🌲 the doctor, the widow and the wardrobe

✅️ eleven and the kids ✅️ the power of being a mother??? kinda cool ❌️ some guy following you home 'every day til you marry him' is a bit weird actually

I was not paying attention for most of it but the stuff I did pay attention to was fine

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🥛 7.01 asylum of the daleks

✅️ owsin ❌️ 'it was a phase' comment

I have mixed feelings about some of the stuff going on in this ep, and there's a couple things I straight up dislike, but overall it's fine idk

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🦕 7.02 dinosaurs on a spaceship

✅️ brian is such a legend ✅️ amy, nefertiti

don't have much to say but it's a fun ep. I like amy and eleven's chat too

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🌵 7.03 a town called mercy

✅️ the doctor losing it and tryna kill that guy and amy being the voice of reason ✅️ the ending

a solid ep

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🕋 7.04 the power of three

✅️ amy and eleven's talk about if her and rory are gonna leave etc ✅️ the doctor's dodgy heart ✅️ brian!!

like this ep a lot for the emotional stuff and I think it's really cool to see eleven hanging around. the cubes are cool but idc about the ppl ngl idek what they were doing I wasnt paying attention. also shoutout kate

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🗽 7.05 the angels take manhattan

✅️ when the doctor reads the chapter title and loses it a bit ✅️ amy and rory's 'deaths'

love this ep a lot!! thought I was kinda desensitised bc I've seen it so many times but turns out it still makes me sad as fuck

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

⛄️ the snowmen

✅️ clara and the doctor's general vibe ✅️ clara and vastra ✅️ clara first seeing the tardis then getting dragged out

good ep

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

💻 7.06 the bells of saint john

✅️ the scene where elevens outside the house and clara is talking to him out the window ✅️ eleven's weird little dance when he's telling clara she should be doing 'young ppl stuff' ❌️ clara's clearly empty mug that she waves about on the plane and tardis annoys me

I am not that passionate about the villains of this ep, they're fine idk, but I love clara and eleven's vibes a lot

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🍁 7.07 the rings of akhaten

✅️ the long song is a certified banger and low-key makes me wanna cry ✅️ the doctor's speech

cool vibes, I like seeing all the aliens, the kid was good, clara and eleven are cute as usual and I liked her kinda calling him out at the end

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🥶 7.08 cold war

✅️ eleven and clara are cute

was not paying attention icl

⭐️⭐️⭐️

🏚 7.09 hide

✅️ clara getting freaked out in the tardis about her dead body probs being out there and the convo they have ✅️ 'every lonely monster needs a companion', eleven putting his arm around clara, it's a love story !!

there's a lot of great moments in this ep, I like it a lot

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🔥 7.10 journey to the centre of the tardis

✅️ seeing more inside the tardis is always cool, need more of it tbh ✅️ when the doctor freaks out at clara and she obvs don't know wtf he's on about ❌️ the doctor slapping clara's ass, and the fact she doesn't react at all, is kinda insane

I'm too stupid to understand how that 'big friendly button' actually reset stuff and idrc about the brothers but there's some stuff in there that I like for sure and the vibes are cool

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🟥 7.11 the crimson horror

✅️ eleven and clara had some good moments ✅️ ada ❌️ eleven kissing jenny and being generally creepy

wasn't as painful to get through as I was expecting but still wasn't that great idk like I just don't care

⭐️⭐️💫

🏰 7.12 nightmare in silver

✅️ clara being in charge ✅️ everything with the cyberplanner ❌️ the tight skirt comment

the kids are mildly annoying but overall I think this is a pretty decent ep, a mild banger

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🪦 7.13 the name of the doctor

✅️ the doctor crying when clara mentions trenzalore ✅️ clara going into the timestream and the montage/narration ✅️ river, eleven seeing her ✅️ war doctor reveal

literally a banger idgaf

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

🖼 the day of the doctor

✅️ eleven, ten and war all meeting each other ✅️ all thirteen!! ✅️ the curator

there's just so many good moments in this ep like woah I have to stan. funny but also emotional, changes something big without taking away from what came before, love it a lot

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🕛 the time of the doctor

✅️ eleven and clara's vibe ✅️ the timelords giving him extra regens ✅️ the regen speech !!

best regeneration episode by a mile I fear

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

series five episode ratings:

the eleventh hour - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the beast below - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 victory of the daleks - ⭐️⭐️💫 the time of angels - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ flesh and stone - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the vampires of venice- ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 amy's choice - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the hungry earth - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 cold blood - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 vincent and the doctor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 the lodger - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the pandorica opens - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the big bang - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 a christmas carol - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

series five average rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | 4.1428571429

series six episode ratings:

the impossible astronaut - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 day of the moon - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 the curse of the black spot - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the doctor's wife - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 the rebel flesh - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 the almost people - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 a good man goes to war - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ let's kill hitler - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ night terrors - ⭐️⭐️💫 the girl who waited - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 the god complex - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ closing time - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the wedding of river song - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the doctor, the widow and the wardrobe - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

series six average rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | 4.00000000

series seven episode ratings:

asylum of the daleks - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 dinosaurs on a spaceship - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 a town called mercy - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the power of three - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the angels take manhattan - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the snowmen - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the bells of saint john - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the rings of akhaten - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 cold war - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ hide - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ journey to the centre of the tardis - ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 the crimson horror - ⭐️⭐️💫 nightmare in silver - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the name of the doctor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 the day of the doctor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the time of the doctor - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

series seven average rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | 4.00000000

#doctor who #nataliechats

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dotster001 · 2 years

Note

Hi, are matchups still open? If not just ignore this request. And if they are open could I get a match up for Twisted wonderland? I would like a romantic one, my sexuality is straight . I am a 18 y/o female. I am 5’6 (168cm) and I have a slim hourglass figure with big 🍒. I have long wavy brown hair and a babyface. My clothing style is a mix of femme fatale, bimbo and academia (both light and dark). My big three and MBTI type are Aries-sun, Virgo-moon, Aquarius-rising and ENTJ 8w7.

My love language is for giving and receiving both acts of service, I want someone to show me they love me rather than just tell me. (But for giving I adapt to what my s/o wants).

I love reading and seeking mental stimulation. Like watching and solving true crime cases. I love everything horror; books, comics, movies, stories and games. I also love theorizing random things.

People describe me as cold, harsh, mean,distant, arrogant and closed off. I am very bubbly and cheerful around the people I love which isn’t many. I am also the mom friend of the group I make sure no one gets lost, I am the one who cooks because the kitchen has been burned down before by one of my “children”.

I also LOVE everything feminine! Like getting dolled up just to take the trash out. I love the color pink and the whole bimbo aesthetic. I am very smart (straight A student as well as an IQ test results to prove it) but somehow I say and do the dumbest things 😭.

(as an ex gifted child, I feel the being smart but doing dumb things aesthetic 😂 okay okay, anyway, I kind of knew immediately who I wanted to pair you with, but honorable mentions to Jade and Vil)

I match you with Rook Hunt.

He is incredibly perceptive, and sees right through the "cold" facade that most people think you have. A hunter is patient, and he'll wait things out until he's someone you love, and then he'll bask in the reward that is "your sweet radiant soul."

Your love language is acts of service. Rook adores telling you how much he loves you, but he also adores showing you. He'll wax poetry of your beauty while he brushes your hair for you. He'll organize your room, while he praises your intelligence. All he asks in return is to allow him to bask in your presence, and to hold you close "to ward off the night's chill."

He will solve true crime cases for hours with you, his smile never leaving his face. He's a little too good at it. You almost want to ask him who he's killed, but whenever you get up the courage to maybe ask, he throws you a dazzling smile that totally distracts you.

He knows how smart you are, and he'll never take it for granted. But he also thinks it is adorable when his precious trickster does something outside of the typical realm of "smart". He accepts both aspects of who you are, and relishes in every moment he can spend observing you.

"No." You say firmly, holding up the spray bottle as Rook enters the kitchen.

"Mademoiselle Trickster, have mercy on me! I am not here to cook, but if I was I am sure I would not set the room ablaze...unless...Mon amour would ask it of me," he ends his statements with a flirtatious wink, and you sigh.

"Look, I trust you. I do! It's not about you though, I've been burned before, literally, and it's easier on me this way," a timer goes off and you set the spray bottle down to check the food in the oven. It probably needed another minute.

However, by the time you finished this quick action, he was already at your side, smiling roguishly at you. He majestically took your hand and placed a kiss to it.

"I am only here, because I have a gift for you, and am too excited to wait until dinner to give it to you," he said, pulling out a choker made from pink ribbon, with a locket in the middle.

"May I?" He asked. You nodded, and he turned you so you faced away from him. He lifted your hair to hook the choker. Before he released you, he left a kiss below the ribbon, and to your hair as he returned it to its place flawlessly.

He twirled you so you faced him again, and heaved a lovesick sigh, "Oh, ma beaute, how did this humble hunter ever become worthy of basking in your light?"

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, and hummed, "Since you are cooking a delightful dinner, I am going to wash the dishes for you."

You giggled a "thank you" and you both just went about your way, just enjoying being together.

#twisted wonderland #matchups #500 followers #rook hunt x reader

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thunder-and-fireworks · 3 months

Text

if i have to pay for a single more appointment where a doctor doesn't take the time to read my medical history again, i'm going to riot.

i fell off a horse and broke my back 14 years ago. the doctors at the time called it a "burst" fracture, if that gives any insight into how bad it was. i lost 2" of height in this accident.

miraculously, i wasn't paralyzed, but i've dealt with a lot of chronic pain since then, and in later years, i've had some radiating pain, numbing, and tingling down my legs as well. over that time, i have been varying weights, varying levels of physical fitness, varying job types (on my feet/sitting). in that time, i've tried: cognitive behavioral therapy, physical therapy (5 times), massage therapy, acupuncture, biofeedback therapy, a whole cabinet full of medicines (a vast majority of which were not n*rcotics in any way), heat packs, cold packs, exercising, losing weight, rest, diet changes, 3 different kinds of injections, and surgery.

of the things that have worked, they have ALL been treatments for nerve pain, which i haven't been able to continue with due to the side effects. i'm currently working with a pain management doctor who is wonderful and is actually fighting for me to get treatment in ways that actually alleviate me of some of the pain.

all of this is in my medical records, which i have requested and reviewed in the past to ensure its accuracy.

today, i went to see a 4th neurosurgeon (in 14 years) to review my scans at my pain doctor's request, to ensure that there wasn't something surgical required or available to relieve some of my pain.

she did a minimal exam of my legs/feet, then sat up straight and said, "your scans look great." i can't tell you how frustrating this is to hear. please do not open with this. start with, "i hear you've had some pain for quite some time, let's see if we can help you through that." the doctor did not choose compassion today. that is, in and of itself, not that uncommon, particularly in neurosurgery (in my experience).

"do you have pain/tingling in your legs?" "yes." "is it all the time?" "only when [the pain is] really bad."

i'm really not sure why she bothered asking me questions at all because her next words were: "i really think what you need is more exercise. have you tried yoga or pilates?"

my brother in christ, you could have watched me physically deflate from that. as an overweight woman, i can't tell you how many medical professionals have listened to my problems and come to the exact same conclusion. (my weight is important here, because i never had this issue when i was thin.) as someone who is in incredible pain on a day-to-day basis, i find it very difficult to exercise. (i am, however, working out with a ROWER when i can, so it's not like i just don't move.)

this pain has impacted every single aspect of my life. i can't sleep because i'm in pain. i can't play with my son or dogs the way i want to because i'm in pain. i can't exercise to the extent that i want to because i am in pain.

but i have never been so insulted in my life by a medical professional than i was in that room today. how disconnected from your patients do you have to be to assume that someone has been enduring pain for fourteen years and hasn't tried literally everything they could before showing up asking about invasive surgeries? not to mention she clearly didn't even look at my file because all of the things i've tried are listed in my medical records with this hospital.

and then this fucking awful doctor had the audacity to tell me at the end of the appointment (that i waited 4 months for), "if your pain ever goes into your legs, give us a call and come back in."

after i literally told her that i was experiencing that at the very start of the appointment.

i fucking can't stand the way i've been treated in the realm of medicine. i can't fucking stand the way that women, particularly women who are overweight, are constantly dismissed and told that all of our problems are because of our weight. fuck off, doctor. you fucking suck. i really thought that seeing a female doctor would help me get more compassionate care, but that clearly wasn't the case in this situation.

#vent #medical tw #chronic pain tw #weight tw

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sadrockandwaltzes · 8 months

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American Psycho

:readmore:

SPOILERS----------------------------------------------I haven't seen many horror movies so I thought I should watch it! Ngl it's actually interesting so far. All the other horror movies I've seen have been really boring or unlikable, but there's enough life to the characters and setting that it doesn't feel like everyone's sitting around waiting to die.

I also appreciate this man normalizing (well clearly not since he's a weirdo and it failed) guys taking care of their skin, although his concerns about looking young border on vampiric.

Minor complaints so far- the opening scene is him defending Jews and correcting his ignorant colleagues- something I was not expecting at all, and can see why some people might like him. He wasn't complete scum! He takes the time to educate himself and learn how to pronounce names right, he unabashedly talks about the problems that exist in the world that we need to help fix. But why- why would he mention women's rights when it's so clear he doesn't care about them?? I'm not looking to like this guy, but if he's gonna have multiple good points about him, can we add _not a misogynist_ as one of them? Why are so many serial killers misogynists (in movies and on the news, I mean) -_- Also he's so gossipy XD just an observation

Oh also his secretary (?) Is seriously pretty. Don't tell her what to wear! She'd kill it in anything anyway, and I don't know how he can muster up some attraction to her yet still fail to see that. But mostly just stop being a misogynistic creep

Generic rich guy, talking big game among other rich people but immediately shouting and making death threats at anyone under him😒what an @sshole. Also hate to go there, but doesn't he know you need to run blood stains under cold water soon after the stain? He has the nerve to show up with a heavily bloodied sheet and act all high and mighty about it. Anyway, it does look like cranberry since cranberry stains pinkish purple and blood stains brown so he's probably telling the truth. In which case I retract all of this😅

How many women is he seeing? [Imagine putting on p@rn when you're not even interested/watching it -_- ] (Donald Trump?) Why would he bring a heavily drugged up woman to a high-end restaurant? He doesn't think it might look suspicious and possibly be a huge waste of his money when she barely registers the experience? Now he's masquerading as his doppelganger.

Arguing over shades of white. Rich people @'[]'@

"Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god. It even has a watermark."- Patrick Bateman, who always speaks like a dubbed anime protagonist

I really thought he just pulled out a gun! Never touch creepy people, Al! You never know what they might do. Like... Stab you. -_- does he just carry that kind of stuff on him all the time? First kill at 22 minutes in.

"Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly blood lust has overflowed into my days. I feel lethal- on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip" This is actually interesting though. Why now? He's in his 30s, right? Why's he suddenly feeling like this all the time?

AHH WHAT A CUTE PIG!!! did you know they'll eat live humans? Keep away from babies

What's up with the mullets everywhere?

And now Ivana Trump? Is he obsessed with them or something?

He uses a tanning bed and is still that pale?? Dang this guy's drunk. Insults a serial killer and follows him home 😓not a night of good decisions

XD I never needed to see him dancing but thanks

Dude... wash your face before you take the raincoat off. What if it gets on your suit? Also... WHY CAN HE JUST WALK OUT DRAGGING A BODY BAG WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!! Rich people😭

...[YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CLEAN THAT!! THAT'S SO UNHYGIENIC!!] My heart goes out to these women, and the rest of his victims. Al, the other guy (Paul!).

Is he gonna strangle her : ( Don't s#x workers have the right to refuse tasks they're uncomfortable with? I mean I know it doesn't matter with it being this guy, but they clearly don't want to be here :/

Checking himself out in the mirror while banging two ladies🙄

IS HE HOMOPHOBIC??? BOY JUST SCRUBBED HIS HANDS AFTER FINDING OUT XD Note to not get assassinated: mistake his creepy advances for flirting and go into extreme detail about your interest in him dating back years. With luck, he will get uncomfortable and leave. Seriously though, CHILL BRO, IT'S JUST A BUSINESS CARD!

"Huey's too black sounding for me" tiny uncomfortable pause before man hurriedly packs things "to each his own." As if you weren't going on a whole rant about how great his music was just the other day... isn't it more suspicious to say you don't like that kind of music and have never listened to it, but when they search your apartment they find you have multiple albums?

Is she planning on dying?

Why do him and his coworkers keep meeting at this queer friendly party scene? Is it just for drugs?

Bro how do none of these people know any of the serial killer names he's mentioning. Bro. They're not even red flags since no one knows who he's talking about. The duct tape is though. (Ngl though, I'm with him about the cleanliness. Why would you put the dirty spoon on the clean table when the empty carton is right there? Basic tidyness 101.)

Please go, Jean. Please. Thank you!

DON'T SAY "I DON'T THINK SO" LADY! GO! RUN! Forget social niceties, protect yourself against creeps who put you in the emergency room! She better get out alive. Anyway he really has a type.

I don't like how music for him is associated with killing. He's giving music a very bad name.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STAIRS IN THIS PLACE!! WHERE ARE THE ELEVATORS??

NO!!!!! OF ALL THE WOMEN!!! WHY HER????? Figures they already fulfilled their quota of one woman surviving so now they can kill the rest. Hasn't she suffered enough??? She was the only character I actually cared about. Well also Al, the first guy he killed. The rest not so much.

Is his fiance Reece Witherspoon?

Does he feel some kind of shame or worry about his actions? Aiyayai

How many bullets does his gun have??

How did they realize it was him?

He killed a gay guy with a dog? Who?

What was with the doctor mask?

Bateman's a really awful artist. Also I think these guys need to start looking more recognizable if they want people to stop mistaking them for other people when they've been dead for a month.

That was... an ending? Was this based on a book? I was kind of imagining he'd be arrested? There's certainly enough people around to incriminate him.

Weird movie.

#spoilers #movie review #movie commentary #american psycho #Verdict: it was a little funny? That was about it. Now I can say I've seen it though

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its5amandimstillawake · 2 years

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So! Me and my brother are watching season 4 of miraculous ladybug, at one point we forgot what had happened in style queen so we decided to rewatch that before watching optigami and I pointed how proud Gabriel looks when audrey compliments Marinette on her hat design

Which made my brother think of an interesting idea. Back in season 1 Marinette was very interested in fashion design, and although that's basically disappeared throughout the show it would've been interesting if that had actually been a plot point and played a role in the show. So In season one we see Marinette win a contest with her hat and Gabriel compliments it and seems impressed by it

What if she didn't just win that competition, what if that had an actual impact on the show and plot? What if they added another episode in season one where Marinette once again does something, maybe wins another contest on fashion design and Gabriel recognizes her as the hat girl. Impressed by what she's done so far and seeing potential he decides to take her on as a apprentice of sorts, she takes on the role of an intern, she helps Gabriel with things while also learning things about fashion. This would open the door to a very interesting dynamic

1. The idea of the hero and the villain both spending time together and learning from each other and forming a bond without even knowing who the other is an very interesting idea and dynamic

2. When the reveal does happen. When they learn who hawkmoth is it actually impacts BOTH characters. Marinette really doesn't give a shit about Gabriel at this point and I know they're going to make her sympathize with Gabriel whenever that reveals does happen but that doesn't make sense. But if we go with this idea it absolutely makes sense. She would've bonded with him by that point and formed a connection with him so both Adrien and Marinette would have conflicted feelings and would be emotionally impacted and it would make sense

3. In every episode where Gabriel finds out who ladybug and chat noir are (before the time is reset or they go back in time and fix things) he goes "my son!! And... Some random girl! Ok!" There's no emotional impact. If he has a connection to BOTH our heroes suddenly it's a lot more emotional and he has more conflicting feelings about it

4. Instead of having Lila keep an eye on Adrien which makes no sense and was also dropped almost immediately after.

We can have Gabriel slowly manipulate marrinete (I've said it before and I'll say it again I would love to see Gabriel be more manipulative and clever) into giving him information on Adrien

5. It helps the ship. Right now the two barely speak to each other or know each other. Adrien going "my love is also my best friend!" Doesn't make sense right now. They're not best friends they barely speak to each other. But if she's always at his house we can have more scenes of them talking, maybe bonding over how cold Gabriel can be, her learning more about Adrien and comforting him when he's sad and him talking to her when she gets stressed. It would give them common ground, stuff to talk about and a opportunity to make them more vulnerable and open up more to each other. So when the reveal does happen them both being happy and excited at finding out who it is makes sense from both of them.

6. We can see more of Gabriel and make him more sympathetic. We mostly see hawkmoth and we rarely get good scenes of Gabriel talking about his grief but if we have Marinette there it could make for some really good scenes of him at least starting to open up a little. Could make him a bit more sympathetic. We can have Marinette question why Gabriel is being so strict with Adrien and have Gabriel explain that while he knows it's hard on Adrien, Adrien is all he has left so he can't help but be strict and over bearing. Making him seem less like an asshole and more sympathetic making him a more complex villain.

The entire idea seemed great and opened up so many doors. But then we had ANOTHER idea!

Let's stick with all of this. Marinette becomes Gabriel's apprentice but let's also say, the episode "wish maker" happened in season 2 instead of the season 4 and it takes a slightly different route. This time Adrien is still trying to figure out what he wants to be but at the end of the episode he's talking to plagg and plagg makes some joke about how Adrien likes sweets and likes making people happy why not combine the two and become a baker? (This can also be plagg trying to set up marrinete and Adrien lol) he thinks about it and the episode ends. Next episode he's asking Tom and Sabine if he can help them out and they feel bad, they know a bit about this kid's home life since Marinette talks to them about it, so them being so caring, decide to give him a safe place after school to relax and just be himself and also teach him how to bake. He helps out around the bakery, cleaning and learning how to bake a bit. This once again provides opportunities for the show

1. It's kind of symbolic that Marinette and Adrien lives are intertwined. Marinette becomes a part of Adrien's life by working for his father, Adrien becomes a part of Marinette's life by working for her parents

2. Once again gives them more to talk about and time to be together

3. At first I think Adrien would still try to be the perfect kid but after a while he feels he can be himself with this family and we see him acting more like chat, we see him making puns, being silly, cracking jokes. Then, again, when the reveal happens it's not such a shock to Marinette cause at that point she can see them being the same person, and she'll actually KNOW Adrien, not the persona he plays when he's out of the mask, but all of Adrien. Making the relationship and reveal way more satisfying when it happens.

4. We Can have Adrien learn and develop and grow more. All he knows is toxicity. All he gets is shit advice. Imagine Tom and Sabine actually giving him advice and giving him a place to be open and vulnerable and learn from them and become a better person both as Adrien and chat noir

All in all I thought this was a great idea and would improve the show so much and if done well would solve the majority of the problems I have with the show. It would stop having Marinette be fucking creepy and putting him on a pedestal and allow her to actually talk to him, get to know him, and be friends with him. We could actually see some development. We could have them learning from the adults around them and we can see how your environment influences who you become. We could see more of Gabriel and actually get some development there. And it would also make for some great scenes.

Me and my brother were watching wish maker and just Imagine these scenes.

Except instead of Luka immidietly resetting the time, say he gets distracted, has to fight something off. They BOTH detransform and hawkmoth sees BOTH of them. He has adopted Marinette as a apprentice and formed a bond with her at this point and he finds out she's ladybug and his son is chat noir. At this realization we see him have a mental breakdown and he starts to question if he should keep doing this. If it's worth it. He loves his wife but is he willing to hurt two children he cares about and also loves? He begins to question this and he starts to realize, no it's not worth it, Luka, unaware of this resets the time.

This makes an impactful scene, makes a sympathetic and complex character, and would've made a very emotional reaction from the audience (for this to work we'd also have to change chat Blanc.)

I don't know I just feel like this would fix the majority of the flaws in the show. What do you guys think?

#miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #adrien agrest #adrien and marinette #love square #adriennette #ml #ml season 4 #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth

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minahoeshi · 3 years

Text

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima scenarios #ushijima angst #ushijima fanfic #ushijima reader insert #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi

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asavt · 3 years

Text

Another cookie squad Headcanons

Featuring Sparkling, Vampire, cellphones and the Espresso and Madeleine Story of how they came together. Consider it an AU now baby!

-As a note, when I say the squad I'm mostly referring to the adults, so no worries about Walnut or Creampuff useless I mention them too

-Each one of the squad has been in Sparkling's bar at last once. There's no need to say who has been there the most. Sparkling has a time every time someone besides Roguefort comes, because to him it's mostly like "Oh I'll finally know the continuation to the burnt toast accident or maybe the cat catastrophe? Maybe a new POV of the--"

He practically knows a lot of what happens in between the squad.

-As another note, Sparkling's bar is called Milabo (You know, like the song from Zutomayo of the same name, which, btw, I relate a lot to Latte)

-*A great part of this “AU” is kind of inspired by the song. Part of its lyrics and vibe.

-Vampire is there most of the time when the squad visits the bar (it's almost as if he never leaves the bar and this is definitely not me low-key putting sparkvamp in this oh no--) Sometimes the fakes his sleep to listen to the things others say (Which is how he knows most of Rogue's pan-ic).

-Walnut has been in Sparkling's bar too, but at day and for case-solving purposes only. Sparkling will give her some alcohol-free drink for free sometimes (mostly because he gets along pretty well with the nut family and because Almond usually pays him whatever he serves her).

-If the squad had cellphones (and probably an app like discord because.), their group chat would initially be called "Coffee mage appreciation group" and then be changed to "Coffee bean appreciation group"

Coffee Bean: Can we please change the group name and mine?

Guided by the Devine: No <3

Coffee Bean: Fuck you.

-*And they all would dedicate half their time to make fun of Almond but with love.

-Espresso has been mistaken for a dark mage before by Almond. It was how they meet actually. Almond had pulled him to interrogate him and got a long lecture on the differences between black magic and coffee magic.

-Madeleine gets along rather well with Roguefort. Rogue seems impressed by Maddie’s acting skills.

-Madeleine is currently living with Espresso. Out of his armor most of the time. He usually takes care of keeping the house clean and preparing meals (He never really had to cook before but the first dish he made wasn’t bad at all). Sometimes he will tag along Almond in the detective’s work, or Almond will ask for his help.

-I’m still unsure if I want the Almond/Roguefort/Latte to be romantic or platonic. But honestly? Both are good. Latte is pretty close to Almond and Roguefort but not in the way she is with Espresso (that makes them look like siblings jkashduawhu). Perhaps I’ll keep it platonic.

-The Espresseleine/Madespresso story of how they came together, because I seem to not be able to write it down JSHALDHUIWADWA-

--It happens after the Puppet Show mini quest. Madeleine starts to ask for Espresso's "assistance" in different mission that are given to him. Angel is there too, of course.

--During these missions is that Essy clarifies that no, they are not friends, no, he does not like Madeleine. Bringing up the knight begin too prideful and self-centered if not all then most of the time.

--Is not until one of their missions goes wrong, were Angel is knocked out and Espresso (seeing and knowing that if Madeleine is knocked down too they might not be able to go back to the kingdom ever) pretty much receives a rather big attack for Madeleine is that he kind realizes the facts given by espresso true. All while he is carrying Essy and Angel back to the kingdom, running and exhausted too.

--Clover begin kind of a mediator between the two (I want to see more of my son--)

--"Devine, protect us" Should happen too after this. An scenario like, Madeleine coming to think something like "I'm the shield, the one who goes on the front line and receives the blows for those who can't, always looking straight ahead... but if I am doing that then who watches my back? Who do I rely on and trust to take care of most enemies so the damage received is not overwhelming...?"

Power of team work baby!!!

--As a note to this, Maddie getting his cape damaged as well as his hair. So, you get short hair Maddie~

(I've been drawing him with short hair in secret now I have an excuse to show)

-- "You...cut your hair..." *Madeleine touches the points of it with one of his hands, pensive* "...pft it'll grow back!"

--There's also this "Search for your own light" thing between Angel and Maddie. Angel encouraging Madeleine to do so. Maybe Madeleine giving his best wishes to them for their wish to fly before they decide to part ways.

--Madeleine trying other ways to befriend Essy. Which at first Espresso mistaken as the knight usual attempts to befriend anyone he sees out of habit and attention seeking, but once they realize the feeling is completely genuine, Espresso is rather perplexed.

--"You can't just befriend people by buying them gifts (although I do appreciate them)" "Then what?" "hmm..."

--Said gifts used to be rather expensive things, simple though. Eventually Madeleine settles to just pass by Espresso's place, give him any food he had bought that day (which usually is glazed donuts), ask if he needs any help with something (getting a vase, materials, moving things), and if not then he just says his good byes, best wishes and silently leaves. (A note on the "silently leaves": Madeleine is pretty much used to speak loudly and enter loudly anywhere, he still does this at this point, but when it's about Espresso he is a bit more quiet, a bit showy over his entrances still, but less loud, and he actually knocks the door)

--Madeleine eventually manages to go out with Espresso to other places that aren't some place in the forest full of enemies. Probably after some more visits to his place and more calm talks between the two, Madeleine brings up that Espresso tends to act a bit cold or distant towards a lot of people, and that, although he understands his discomfort at begin in public spaces or too long out of his work, he should try and open up a bit. This reminds Essy of a certain friend he hasn't seen in some time, and from whom he keeps getting letters.

--Shenanigans.

--There's still some bickering between the two, always with a playful undertone though.

--Espresso explains Madeleine, one time the knight has gotten Espresso wrapped in a blanket burrito again and got him to bed, that sometimes, no matter how tired he might feel, he is simply unable to sleep. Part of a headcanon of mine that coffee magic has this side effect on it's users, prolonged usage of this kind of magic will induce a high caffeine kind of state, which on the long run can fuck up the user's sleep schedule. Madeleine understands this, but remains stubborn about keeping Espresso in the bed so at last he can get some rest from his work and clear his mind a little, the idiot falls asleep in the process and Espresso doesn't try to wake him up.

--This happens several times after, neither of them thinking of the implications of not begin bothered by the sudden closeness they share until it's too late.

--Espresso realizes first that he has slowly, yet nicely, fallen for Madeleine. I think I talked about this before but I'll do it again: Is in one of the times Madeleine has gotten Espresso to bed to get some rest, Espresso not begin able to fall asleep and Madeleine doing again. Is while he thinks of how he has gotten to know Madeleine for real, not the Knight Commander from a noble family or the Chosen by the Devine, but as he is, that he comes to think that "Ah.... I love him" and he remains calm about it.

--Espresso doesn't overthink it, just thinks that, if Madeleine ever got an interest in him, he would surely show it. So he waits. Even if in the end his feelings aren't mutual he knows he'll do just fine remaining friends.

--Madeleine realizes not many days after. And the realization hits him like a truck. Alone in his place and probably in bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Espresso. Once he realizes and thinks about it a bit more his face gets all red and chooses to scream in the pillow.

--He would think about telling Espresso as soon as he can, after all, he doesn't want his feelings to make their friendship weird. He values it, a lot. Maybe because his friendship with Espresso it's the first one where he genuinely wanted to become friends with someone.

--Espresso takes the confession calmly, gets all flustered after they kiss for the first time.

--As a few extras of this: Madeleine goes back to the Republic, asked to be seen by his family and Espresso goes to Parfedia, where a few students have applied to his class to his surprise. When they see each other again is at Parfedia (Madeleine sending a message to Espresso beforehand about his arrival) -there was this one drawing I did once of Maddie running to hug Espresso, something like that happens-. Madeleine gets very clingy for some reason, which they speak later and comes out as “Home doesn’t quite feel like home…” “Why is that?” “I don’t know… maybe I’ve become used to be around you”

--Espresso lets ends up letting Madeleine stay with him until he either feels like returning to the Republic or is called back, whatever happens first (though none will happen for maybe a year or a little more).

--Ends with Madeleine meeting Latte and Almond.

#Headcanon time baby!#The cookie squad #Espresso Cookie #Madeleine cookie #espresseleine #madespresso #Roguefort cookie #Almond cookie #Latte Cookie #Sparkling cookie #Vampire cookie #Walnut cookie #Bar gays

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ageoffeet · 3 years

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My Heart, Your Hands - A Jake Kiszka Fic

A/N: So I'm going to be adding parts to this and I'm honestly excited to see where it'll go! I've had this idea for a while and I'm finally writing in down. This first part doesn't contain a whole lot of gvf, it's more of an introduction of what's to come.

synopsis: slow burner fic with Jake Kiszka x fem!reader. Greta Van Fleet invites your band to open for them on tour.

word count: 1.2k (short and sweet to start off)

content warning: mentions of alcohol, cussing, brief mentions of sex, sibling bickering.

taglist: @way-to-go-lad @flowervanfleet (if you want me to add or unadd you from my taglist just let me know!)

Your fingers plucked the strings of your bright yellow bass and your foot tapped along to the notes that came pouring out of the amp.

"Hey, can you help with my drum set?" Jack sets down his snare and walks away, not giving you a chance to answer. Not your fault he has to put his set together every gig, especially when he acted like an ass in the van on the way here. You reluctantly swing your bass strap over your head and set your pride and joy on the stand.

"Y/N!"

"Oh my god, I'm coming!" You set off into a half jog towards the back exit where you parked the van. Miles gives you an equally frustrated look and continues helping Jack lug the pieces of his set out of the back of the van.

You just landed in Nashville, the last stop on your little America tour. This little band you started with your brother (Jack) and mutual friend (Miles) really started taking off after Miles graduated from high school so you all planned a "tour" which was more of a road trip with gigs at bars along the way. It had gone surprisingly well so far with more and more followers finding your socials and Spotify every week.

"Hey, are you guys MHYH?" You look toward the voice at the same time as your bandmates and nod. You guys thought your band’s name was cool but people hardly ever said the full name, preferring to use the acronym instead.

"Yeah, you coming to watch the show?" Miles turns away from Jack handing him another part of the drum kit to engage with the olive skinned girl standing at the opening of the alley.

"For sure! I was wondering if I could request a song of yours that might not be on your setlist." Miles smiles and walks away from Jack and I and towards the pretty girl. Jack lets out a loud huff and rolls his eyes at Miles' back.

"Fuck boy," he mutters. You laugh at his annoyance and pick up where Miles left, grabbing cymbals and stands and bringing them inside.

"I'm serious. He better be back in time for sound check." You set down what you're holding and turn towards Jack.

"You're just jealous you couldn't go talk to her first."

"Well I was crouched in the back of the van like a cave man." Jack was used to getting all the girls since Miles had been in a serious relationship but in the past month, things went sour between Miles and Katie so now Jack had some competition.

"I'm sure there will be plenty more at the show you can talk to." As much as Jack's banter was entertaining you, you couldn't get the sad thought out of your mind that this was your last show on this tour. With all the money you guys spent on gas and food, you barely broke even with tips and your share of ticket profits. It would be a while before you guys could afford to do this again.

Instead of watching Jack put together his drum kit, you decide to pick up your bass again and start plucking out the beginning notes of your most recent song, singing along in your head.

“I told you I had to leave this town

heaven knows you'll be alright

need to get away from here

start focusing on my own life”

"So Denim Dreams has been requested," Miles hopped up onto the small stage and started taking his guitar out of its case.

"Ew dude," Jack pauses setting up his snare to reply. "That's our worst fucking song."

Miles just shrugs with a ghost of a smile on his face and Jack sighs.

"If you make me play that song you better at least be getting laid tonight." You laugh at the two boys and turn to face them fully.

"We need to make our setlist." The three of you always waited right before a show to make the setlist but with thirty minutes to go before the doors opened, you were pushing it tonight.

"Fuck, I forgot we didn't do that yet. Y/N you're the lead singer, it's your job." You roll your eyes and grab your phone from your back pocket to make an impromptu setlist in your notes app.

"Make sure Denim Dreams makes it on there for our beloved fans," Jack replies, sarcasm dripping from his tongue. Miles flips him off and they both laugh at their bickering.

After you're happy with how the setlist looks, you pass your phone to Jack and then Miles to get their approval.

"Looks good, y/nic." Miles goes quiet for a moment. "Let's make this a show to remember, it'll probably be a while before we get to be on a stage again." You note the sad look in his green eyes and solemnly nod your head in response.

Your manager, aka another one of your mutual friends with a degree in business, hops on the crowded stage and hands you a beer.

"Thanks, Kay." After promptly taking a long gulp from the cold bottle, you give her a smile. She was the first one to suggest you guys needing a manager and she handled everything off of the stage, which you were very thankful for.

Miles motions for you to pass the bottle to him and you do so, earning a grossed out look from Jack. He wasn't much of a drinker, but what he didn't indulge in alcohol-wise he certainly made up for in dope.

"You guys got the setlist and everything?" Kay continues to take the bottle from Miles and chugs the rest of the amber liquid. After deciding nods were a good enough answer, she continued, "Hope you guys are ready because there's actually a crowd outside."

You can't hide your shocked expression and she laughs.

"How many are here for us and how many are just here for the booze?"

"That I do not know, Jack, but I guess we'll find out," she winks and walks down the wobbly stairs to the main floor. "I'll tell Bill you guys will be ready in ten. Make it happen."

"Shall we check our sound?"

You could feel the sweat dripping down your brow but that didn't matter in this moment. What matters is the screams and the yells from the crowd as you finish your song.

"This next one is called Denim Dreams," Miles speaks into the mic which elicits a scream from the left side of the bar, no doubt from that girl from earlier.

You turn and watch Jack for his cue to start when he gives you a nod. You pluck out the familiar riff of the song you had written about some guy you met years ago, Miles following with the strum of his guitar, and finally Jack with a few stomps to his bass drum.

As you started singing the lyrics, making yourself sound as if you were still in love with the man you had written this song about, you didn't notice the door to the bar open. You certainly didn't notice four boys walk in and make their way to the bar, their eyes on your band the whole time. In fact, it wasn't until you finished with Miles’ solo that you spotted the members of Greta Van Fleet clapping along with the crowd and smiling at you.

#gvf #greta van fleet #sammy gvf #danny gvf #jake gvf #josh gvf #jake kiszka #fanfic #my band

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honesthammie · 3 years

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Prompt 39: Death wants you to be terrified. But the scariest thing is wanting death.

13th Doctor x female curvy reader

Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts, alcohol and drug abuse, domestic abuse, fat phobia

I'm sorry for this. Its really depressing and I've been hesitant on letting you guys see it but I kinda like how it's written. I've made the abuser gender neutral as females can also be abusive. I promise the next one will be much happier!

"Come on (y/n), you can make it! Just jump across and reach for my hand. I promise you won't fall." The Doctors voice echoes across the widening canyon. If you looked down, you would only see pitch black. You didn't know how long you'd fall. Maybe this would be the perfect time to just go for it. Its not like you'd matter, you're only slowing the team down as is.

They wouldn't even be in this mess if you didn't slip and hit the world shattering drill, turning it on full blast. Unfortunately, you smashed the button making it unable to turn it off. Of course the only way you'd be able to turn it off is to actually go towards it. Everyone in the room screamed at you and some raised their tentacles to attack you if the Doctor didn't step in front of you. You know the Doctor noticed you flinching and your eyes gloss over and noticed you bracing for the impact.

You learned over the years to just accept your fate. You can't run from anyone when you weighed this much. You couldn't hide either, which often left you to just accept what was coming and hope nothing broke. Bruises were always easy to cover and so were any cuts but broken bones, that was always on display and you'd have to break your number one rule: never lie. You hated lying. The truth always comes out anyway so why hide it? If you hide it, you get punished worse anyway so why bother?

If you jumped and actually went with the team, you'd get questioned about earlier and about hesitating at jumping. But if you fell, would the Doctor miss you? As much as you hated to admit it, you were absolutely in love with the adorable alien. Why did you hate to admit it? Because she was a goddess and you were a waste of skin and bones. You weren't skinny and you didn't fit in with the team at all. You were only here out of pity.

You remember when you first met the team. You were the only person alive when they searched underneath the hotel. Even the spiders didn't want you. You were at the hotel because you heard about killer spiders and you wanted an out. You could never do it or something would come up stopping you from ending all your misery. You were the complete opposite of the Doctor. She was so brave and said whatever she wanted and didn't really care for the consequences.

You focused on the Doctors sparkling eyes. Despite the situation, she still sparkled with hope and encouragement. She wasn't upset with you. You really wished she was. This would be such an easier decision to make. Your head was pounding and your heart was going faster than her two hearts. Did you even want her upset? You couldn't tell, your head was spinning wildly, one thought going to another without a chance to process the last one.

You had come to a clear decision. You ran back and let momentum do its thing as your feet left the muddy gravel. You felt so free as you glided in the air for a few seconds. It was the most beautiful feeling. No punishment, no tears before going to sleep and no terror of going back home. Just you and gravity.

Then with a clearer mind you regretted your choice. You were horrified. You weren't ready. It wasn't time yet. Graham can't lose you. He'd only recently lost his wife. He'd feel the same as you and that thought terrified you. He'd survived cancer and gained himself a new family. He can't be like you. Ryan needed him, wether he was willing to admit that or not.

Suddenly you panicked and last minute reached your hand out hoping you'd grab something. Anything. You felt a soft warm object and latched on for dear life. You were then lifted up and onto soil. You focused on your breathing a moment and waited for your heart to calm down. You looked up and saw what, or rather who, saved you. You shouldn't have been so surprised to see the Doctors worried face above yours. She gave you a questioning look, knowing the question, you nodded your head and she straightened herself and helped you up.

"That was great (n/n)! So brave of you! Let's go gang, we've gotta turn this drill off before it splits the planet in half!" She shouted as she ran forward, seemingly knowing the way. She didn't let go of your hand until you reached the drill about 10 minutes later. You couldn't help the blushthat formed on your cheeks. The Doctor quickly opened a panel on the side of the drill.

The drill was massive, bigger than the Eiffel Tower and that what was on surface level, it went down much deeper that it had reached halfway to the liquid nitrogen that ran in this cold planet where our magma centre would be. The drill itself was purple and spherical. The panel box was the size of a human head which was about the size of the civilisations sucker pads. Inside were 3 buttons and 1 lever. You needed to type the pattern that would gain the access to the drill and force stop. If it goes wrong, it speeds up rendering this planet uninhabitable.

You watched as the Doctor quickly typed the pattern in. Red,blue,red,red,red,blue,black,black,blue. That was the pattern she quickly pressed in and held the lever down for 10 seconds. Soon the drill came to a halt and the planet was peaceful once again. You all let out a sigh of relief as it stopped.

You made your way back to the chief of the race and explained that they should dismantle and never use that drill again unless they plan to empty the panet of everything it has within. He quickly agreed and the fam made their way back to the TARDIS.

As soon as tye TARDIS was parked on the edge of your solar system, you got into your comfy clothes ready to nap or maybe play a few games to slow your adrenaline until you were tired enough for a full nights rest. You played a few rounds of uno and some poker where you used some bits of metal instead of chips. Eventually everyone had left except you and the Doctor.

You made your way to the doors of the ship and settled down just watching the stars in front of you. If the sentient machine hadn't already been aware of your darkest thought, you would have jumped out there and been amongst them. Just floating eventually turning to nothing but bones drifting, maybe to never be found. All the sights you've seen and yet this is where you were the most impressed. This was your home, your galaxy and because of all the light pollution, you had never been fully aware of how many neighbours you had because you had been literally blind. This was only stuff captured and faked and now, it's forever in your mind.

You heard movement and a shuffle next you. You knew who it was because she was the only other person awake and you knew she was going to ask and not let it drop until you tell her truth. And you were going to give her it but that doesn't mean you were ready to do so but you had to, someone had to know. Maybe you wanted help or maybe just someone to listen and know everything making you mentally naked in front of them.

The Doctor waited a few moments. She was figuring out how to word it without sounding horrible. "Is everything alright at home?" She asked her voice laced with genuine concern. "Sorry if this sounds a bit abrupt but let me explain. You've been really weird lately. You hardly speak and when you its with as few words as possible, you keep going elsewhere mentally and Rassilion forbid anyone getting angry with you! I also noticed how you hesitated today when jumping and I saw your worry and panic when you jumped. I think I know but I can't help you if you don't at least tell me what is going on! And don't change the subject or anything, just answer me please. I lo-. I can't lose you too." Her voice raised a little as she panicked just speaking about it. Halfway through she grabbed both of your hands and continued her speech.

You looked deep into her eyes for any sign of a lie but there wasn't one. Just like at the canyon, her eyes showed nothing but love. Maybe you should tell her, just her. No Yaz, no Graham and no Ryan. Just you, The Doctor and the TARDIS. You looked away for a moment as you collected your thoughts. However, as you opened your mouth and tried to speak, you found no voice. You couldn't tell her about them. Lord knows what she's capable of. But you've been looking for an out for so damn long. Maybe this is it. She's your out, no death involved.

You walked towards a panel in the console and pushed your hands inside and focused. You focused on the worst time it happened. You concentrated on the fear and everything attached. You couldn't tell her, but you could show her. The TARDIS disappeared into the vortex but didn't seem so sure on landing. She was picking it all up, she felt everything you did and she did not like going. "Please baby girl, I need her to know. I need help but I can't tell her. She's my only out that doesn't involve death and that terrifies me! Please. I understand your hesitation but she needs to see." You spoke mentally to the sentient blue box. She made a sad sound as she gently landed in the moment.

The Doctor looked at you bewildered. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. You walked up to her and grabbed her hand reassuringly. You led her to the doors that separated her from your darkest secret. You took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.

You appeared to be in the basement of your house. You walked up the stairs and took her to a storage room where she could see it happen. You sat in silence for a few minutes only the sounds of breathing and your heartbeat could be heard.

You knew this day off by heart, it plagued your nightmares often. It all started to sweet and went sour so quickly. At this time you were currently on your way back from doing your weekly shop to Tescos making sure you didn't forget their vodka and gin on your way to pay. Thankfully, the shop was only 10 minuets away and you doubted that the TARDIS would make you wait longer than nessacary. Just as the Doctor opened her mouth to speak the door opened and in walked an 18 year old you.

You set the bags down and started sorting the items into their new places. The canned foods go in the cupboard and the meat goes into the fridge. There were loads of food and stuff to go through and place properly. After you placed the last can of baked beans into the cupboard, the door swung open, nearly breaking the door.

They came home from their dealers place early. They stunk of weed and alcohol and had a little white powder around their nose. They looked like they had a good time until they had to come home. It was their dealers birthday so he was having a brothel themed party meaning there were strippers, pole dancers and prostitutes as well. The dealer was a rich guy who practically ran this city. The cops couldn't do anything as he could always bail himself out of jail.

They looked you in your comfy clothes and scoffed. They looked angry. "Why aren't you in your normal clothes babes? I thought I told you to throw away all of that shit. Come on now. Don't tell me I wasted all my well earned money on those clothes I specifically chose for you?"

You shuddered, both in the past and now except now they only made bile rise into your throat. You were so young and vulnerable. Now you know better.

The past you quickly scampered off to get changed. After only 5 minutes you reappeared in what was sexy school girl. The blue miniskirt covered less than most underwear so you were forced to wear a thong. The shirt was a bralet that barely covered your nipples. Your hair was in pigtails and you wore thigh highs. The sight made you silently sick in your mouth. You looked pathetic and weak.

You looked at them expectingly. You were waiting for your next order from them. They seemed to drool at the sight of you. "That's better babes. Why didn't you go shopping like that? Show the world your fat ugly figure? I want you to walk out there and see that no one else wants you but here I am, loving you. I am the only one who will ever like you in the way we have now. Your lucky I've had some fun tonight. All I want is my vodka and a new blunt darling"

You quickly went and grabbed their stuff and walked towards them as they settled in front of the TV. They turned the TV on and put Love Island on. How you hated that show. It made you feel bad for being the size you are. The women on there were beautiful but you also knew that, that kind of beauty costs money. So while your partner had fun watching the show for the romance, you watched it to spot what part of them was bought and what was real. Almost all the women had fake teeth and breasts. You hated how your partner would make snide comments on how they looked compared to you.

"You should be looking like Becky ya know. Beautiful teeth, big perky tits and a fucking great ass. What do you have? Flabs!" And there was the first comment of the day. The first of 30, you counted.

"Yeah well you are fucking broke so I can't look like fucking fake ass Becky or the others!" You thought. Then the Doctor gave you a look of shock and pity and then you realised you said that aloud. Not loud enough for them to hear you but enough for the Doctor.

"Make yourself fucking useful and make me some dinner. I fancy a steak and chips." They ordered as you got up and waddled over to the kitchen. A few minutes in you realised you put too much oil in the pan for the steak but the steak was already in and cooking quick. So quick that it started to smoke just a little bit. You tried blowing it away from them before they realised that you fucked up their dinner but ut was too late. They were already on their feet a marching towards you.

"I'm so sorry. I accidentally poured too much oil in. I'm so sorry. I have a spare steak, you can have my meal for tonight, I could do with skipping a meal anyways, helps me lose weight!" Past you was panicked and present you wasn't much better. Even though you were safe from them, they still made you uneasy. If you were to ever see them again, you'd freeze. They made your blood run cold. Even their voice sent unpleasant shivers down your spine.

"You better make me another steak but I still have to punish you. You fucked up, a lesson needs to be learnt." They said scarily politely. They grabbed your left arm and marched you towards the sink. They also grabbed the burning pan and pinned you so you had no escape as they poured the boiling oil onto your skin. You knew not to scream do you bit into your other arm knowing a bite out of it is better than causing more punishments for screaming.

When they were done left to watch the TV and you knew what that meant. You had to cook the spare steak and make there meal before you can get proper treatment at the hospital. Through your tears of agony, you quickly ran your burnt and bleeding arm under the cold water of the sink. You bit deeper into your other arm and tasting blood, but thay didn't stop you until the left one had cooled down. Then you got an old shirt, ripped 2 pieces of fabric off and wrapped them around both arm Injuries. You then continued their meal.

Once they had the meal they kicked you and punched you in the stomach because the chips were slightly cold and then they drove you to the hospital as they promised. When you had left you didn't realise you had been crying until a drop fell on your arm. You walked out of the storage room and sat on the sofa, turning the TV off.

The Doctor looked shocked for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of you. The Doctor went silent for a moment. Before she could speak, you decided to speak first.

"I couldn't tell you because I couldn't think if a nice way of telling you. I didn't want to appear weak to you." You cried as your voice cracked in the middle due to the tears and the strain. The Doctor looked at you in pity and disappointment.

"This does not make you weak. Being abused does not make you weak. Because being abused is like being tortured by someone who supposed to love you and cherish you. They are meant to protect you from danger not be the danger. I would never hurt you. I know that I put you in risky situations but believe me, I would never intentionally put you in danger. You mean too much to me" The Doctor softly spoke with tears making a little river down her soft cheeks and onto your black carpet below.

"Before I met them, I was like you or Yaz. I was so happy at everything. Very little could bring me down. But I met them and started dating them and suddenly, my world of sunshine faded to grey. There was no light. I wanted to die Doctor. When you found me at that spider hotel, I wanted to be free from them as I couldn't do it. I can't because they'd kill me. I don't want to be alive whilst I'm with them. I have so many scars from either them or me trying to end my own life and that the scariest thing. Death wants us to be terrified but wanting to die is so much more terrifying Doctor, I know that." You cried as you emptied all you could to her. The Doctor was silent for a moment, taking in everything you said. Waves of emotion flashed through her, anger, sadness, pity and something you couldn't quite place.

"You said wanted. That's past tense. You said wanted to die. What changed? What made you want to live?"

"You did. You saved me from the spiders. You gave me a temporary out of the relationship for a while. You made me smile for the first time in 3 years! You made me laugh. The world of grey is now full of sunshine and rainbows Doctor. You also saved me today. When I jumped across that canyon, I jumped to end my life. I made a mistake that nearly ended a planet! If I wasn't so fat and clumsy maybe i-"

"Don't you dare say that! You are not fat (n/n). Yes you have more plush to your body but you are not fat. I hate that word. Its such a nasty word. You are gorgeous, amazing and so brilliant. You can't see what I see and I really wished you could for just one moment. You are worthy of being loved and cared for. You are precious, rare, one of a kind. I've never met anyone like you. There's always some skinny, fake bodied and caked up women but there's no one with as much natural beauty as you! Let's get back to the TARDIS and we'll talk more when looking at the stars because I can see that being here isn't doing you any favours" The Doctor spoke with such passion that you started to believe that her words held more than those of a supporting friend would.

Once the TARDIS was parked in the Milky Way you settled by the door once again and found yourself accompanied by the sweet alien. You both sat there for a moment just content with wrapping your heads around what's just happened. You looked over to the blonde and noticed how the stars made her glow in such an ethereal way that you felt almost compelled to worship her. Maybe you should after everything she's done for you. Her eyes sparkled with si many emotions from the past senario.

"Are you still with them?"

"Why do you think I never left this place? I mean even if could, I wouldn't want to but it's mainly because if I go back home, I'll come back with more injuries. I feel safer with you. You are my sunshine and rainbows and they are my storm clouds. Whilst I'm here, I'm alive and mostly unbroken. Whilst I'm there, I'm as alive as a puppet and severely broken. I can't leave, not on my own anyway."

The Doctor looked at you in thought. "The starlight compliments you. You look so pretty and almost angelic. I just wish they never hurt my angel. My innocent angel had broken wings and I'm going to fix what the Devil broke, I promise. Just hold on, I'm going to take us somewhere."

You held the nearest crystal as the TARDIS transported you somewhere but it seemed like the sentient machine was determined to take you there as quick as she could. As you opened the doors you noticed a familiar smell of weed mixed with alcohol. You heard the familiar tune of Love Island and knew exactly where you were. You were home. The Doctor saw your hesitation and whispered softly, "I want you to pack everything you want. I've written a note for them to find. I'm going to put it on the bed. If they notice you scream for me and I'll be there. They will not hurt you much, hopefully not at all. I just need to do something in the TARDIS before I help you." She turned and left into the TARDIS and disappeared down a corridor.

The atmosphere sent chills down your spine and you were frozen. The TARDIS seemed to notice and words of encouragement were sent into your head which helped you move towards your bedroom. You quickly buy quietly opend your suitcase and started to fill it with clothing and hygiene products. As you entered the bathroom a bottle of their shampoo fell into the tub giving you away. You knew you only had so long before they came in and hurt you so you closed the door and barricaded it with whatever you could.

As you pushed the last cabinet to the pile they roared through the wooden door. "Let me in you fat dumb bitch. You've been gone for 3 weeks and you've got some balls coming back! You're lucky I haven't burned all your shit! Where have you been?"

Your heart ran at an extremely fast pace nd you knew only one person could help you now. And so you screamed her name so loud it hurt your throat bit that didn't stop you. You screamed until you heard talking. You couldn't understand what was said but suddenly a thud was heard and then silence.

"Hey Starlight! It's only me. I've taken care of them. They're not dead but in a venishion aikido. They can't move, they're paralysed. You can come out and finish packing"

You moved everything out of the door and opened it to a view you expected. The Doctor with 2 fingers to their pulse point on their neck. The Doctor smiled at when they saw you. You finished packing and zipped the bag up. Then Yaz walked in with her police uniform on and arrested them for domestic violence and many other things. Now you understood why The Doctor left, it was to get Yaz as a back up option to completely take them out of your life.

The Doctor helped open doors for you as you got your room and you set the suitcase to one side to empty another day. You both sat down on your bed. The sound was filled with nothing but 2 lifeforms breathing and the TARDIS faint buzzing. You two stayed like this, staring into each other, trying to read the others emotions. But we all know what The Doctor is like, she can't stay silent for long.

"I had to save you because as long as you were with them, you weren't ever going to be truly happy. I didn't want my big bright star to turn into a black hole, I wanted her to be a supernova. My Starlight deserves to be happy."

"You keep saying my Doctor. And you asked if I was still with them and then when I basically said yes, you quickly, as in a rush, sent us home so I could leave them. You keep saying all these things about me. You held my hand from the canyon to the drill. You are always the first to check on me and you always make sure I'm OK first even if I'm the farthest person from you! Doctor, be honest, I don't want any more bullshit. Doctor why?" You spoke softly but with determination. The Doctor blushed and shifted her gaze to the stars and quietly gulped. She knew this day would come. The day her secret was revealed. And she dreaded her answer and she dreaded your reaction. And whilst she figured out what to say, you already knew the answer.

You gently grabbed her chin and made her look at you. Once her gaze caught yours, you smiled and placed your lips to her soft ones. Quickly she caught up and kissed you back with all the love and passion she could muster. She wanted to relay that she did love you and that she would do exactly as she said earlier, she would cherish you.

As for you, you smiled. You finally had an out that didn't end in death but instead ended with the same love that you yearned for, for years.

#13th doctor #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #depressing post #im sorry

30 notes · View notes

writteninkat · 3 years

Text

vii - stargazing idiots

word count - 2,854

warnings - reader goes through what is caused by past trauma, mentions of death, mentions of murder

"Angels like you can't fly down hell with me. I'm everything they said I would be."

index

Right after All Might showed up, your body gave up on you and Tsuyu and Izuku had to help keep you up. Your eyelids felt heavier than ever and your head felt like it was going to burst. Your breathing is ragged and the last thing you see is Aizawa's bloodied body before darkness swallows you hole.

It's cold. So very cold.

You open your eyes only to be greeted by a never ending darkness. You feel like you're floating in water.

"Y/n." You hear his all too familiar voice. It's deep, if you could feel it it would feel like rubbing against sandpaper, it's also very cold and a sound that's void of any emotion.

"You did this to me." All of a sudden, Aizawa is standing in front of you, face bloodied and brusied, arms broken and turned to numerous directions. "Why are you so weak?!" He yells as tears begin streaming down your face.

You curl your body, placing your hand on your ears to try and block out your teacher's voice, but it's as if they're everywhere. They're around and inside you.

"I died because of you!" Aizawa yells, gis voice echoing inside your head. "The nomu didn't kill me, you did! You are a murderer! It's because you're so weak that I died!"

You scream, your body feeling immense pressure as hot tears stream down your face. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You yell.

"You killed me. You can never be a hero. You are a murderer, you hear me! I murderer!" You open your eyes, your body shaking as you watch his hand about to grab you.

"I'm not a murderer!" You yell, your eyes opening to the sight of a white ceiling. "Y/n! Calm down! It's just a nightmare!" You hear his gruff voice beside you, it always managed to calm you down. As you turn your head to face him, Katsuki can't help but feel his heart break at the sight of your cheeks wet with tears and eyes red and puffy.

"Suki..." You sob, your body immediately being pulled into a warm hug as Katsuki whispers shushes into your ear. His hand strokes your hair as his arms tigten around you. "It's okay, just let it all out. Cry to me. I'm right here."

Your loud sobs and yelling fill the rooms, even alerting some of the nurses but Katsuki motions for them to leave you two alone.

Your heart feels like it's being crushed and it feel difficult to breathe. Despite this, you don't want Katsuki to let you go. You don't want his familiar warmth to leave your side, not now when you're feeling especially vulnerable.

When your sobs quiet down, Katsuki slowly pulls away, looking into your eyes. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here." He shushes, wiping away your tears as his eyes analyze yours.

"You're okay. What made you cry out like that?" He asks, thumb caressing your cheek softly. You place a hand on his wrist, melting into his touch as you closed your eyes, letting your tears fall.

"Aizawa sensei... He... I killed-"

"We heard Y/n was yelling. What's wrong?!" Midnight barges in, making you immediately turn to her. Behind her she has Present Mic and someone else who's wrapped up in bandages.

Your eyes widen, "Aizawa... sensei..." You mutter, the bandaged-up person tilting his head to the side. "Yes? Are you okay, Y/n?"

Tears fill your eyes again, but this time, there's no longer weight on your shoulders or heart and it feels much easier to breathe. You start sobbing once again, Katsuki looking lost and confused as to what he's supposed to do.

"You're not dead!" You sob, "I thought I killed you- hic- because I was too weak!" You cry out, using your knuckles to wipe away your tears only for them to be replaced by new ones.

"I thought I became a murderer-hic-because I was too weak to protect you, and you died because of me!" You don't even notice Aizawa walking up to you. Despite his bandaged state and the casts he has on both arms, he pulls you into a slightly awkward hug. You wrap your arms around his torso, careful not to hurt him with it.

"Why are you carrying such a burden? Why do you have such thoughts, little girl?" Aizawa asks, his tone hurt. "I have these injuries because I chose to protect you, my students. If I ever get hurt, never, and I mean never blame yourself for it."

You bury your face onto his chest, tears rolling at his words. "Heroes go through stuff like these every time. We sacrifice ourselves to protect the weak and also to keep the peace. In your journey to becoming a hero, you will encounter many situations like these, some are even more worse. But just remember my words-" he pushes you softly, looking down at your swollen eyes. "-have courage, have faith on yourself and the people around you. Trust in them to prevail through just like how you will. Remember that we are all strong because we are heroes but that doesn't mean we have to carry all the burden by ourselves. Be good to yourself and let go if you need to. You're only sixteen, it's okay to act like a child sometimes."

You never thought you'd hear those words from your homeroom teacher who always seemed so indifferent, but at the end of the day, he truly does care about his students from the bottom of his heart.

"Good evening, visiting hours ended five minutes ago. Only miss L/n's guardian if allowed to stay with her." A nurse knocks on your open door, catching everyone's attention.

"I'll be her guardian-" Katsuki cuts off Midnight's words, "Not so fast. I'm her guardian."

"None of you are my guardians." You sigh, "It's been a tiring day and I just want you all to rest. Especially you guys, Aizawa sensei and Katsuki." You move to lay on your bed, but Katsuki raises you a questioning brow.

"What do you mean long day? You've been out for two days." Your eyes widen at his words. You turn to look at the teachers and they all giving knowing nods. "Wait- so does that mean-" You point at Katsuki who rolls his eyes, "Yes, dumbass. I've been watching over you this whole time." At the realization of his words, Katsuki turns away to hide his blush and yet again, fails to notice the red tips of his ears.

"Anyway, the doctors say that you'll be discharged tomorrow morning so you can-" You cut of Aizawa, "Finally go back to school!" You sigh, stretching your arms out and then letting out a sigh.

"I was going to say stay home and rest but if that's what you want then I won't stop you. Bakugou." Katsuki turns around, his face and ears no longer flushed and is back to it's natural scowling state. "I'm not sure how or why your parents allowed you to stay here at the hospital but I'm glad at least someone is taking care of her. There are many qualified pros scouting this area especially at night so you two can rest easy."

With one last nod, the teachers all walk away, bidding the two of you good night. The door closes and you reach over to take your phone from the bedside table, unlocking it. Your eyes widen at the sight of forty-seven missed calls from your mom and just as many number of unread text messages.

"Your mom was called by the school about your situation and assured her that you were alright, but I guess that didn't stop her from blowing up your phone." Katsuki says, eyes on the apple he's peeling.

"Sorry about that, I bet you didn't get enough sleep with all the calling." Your eyebrows knit together in cringe as you force out a smile to which Katsuki shakes his head at. "Your mom is probably the one who didn't get any sleep at all. You should call her and ensure to her that you're alright." He points the knife at your phone before returning back to peeling the apple.

You call your mother in facetime and it rings twice before she answers. "Y/n oh my god! Are you alright, baby?! No, don't answer that. I'm on my way there right now-"

"Mom, what do you mean on your way- here in Japan?" Your eyes scan her background, heart falling to your stkmach as you recognize the airport.

"Hold on! Stop, stop! Mom! You have work back there in the states, you can't come to Japan."

"But you're hurt-"

"Mom," You sigh, "Look, I'm sorry for worrying you. But I swear, I'm fine. Just a few bruises and scrapes but what's a hero without scars, am I right?"

Your mom looks like she stopped walking as she sends you a wordied expression to which you smile reassuringly at her. "I'm fine, mom. Don't worry about me. I'll be able to take care of myself."

"But who's taking care of you in the hospital? I'm going there right now and-"

"Mom, even if you did come here now, I'll be discharged by the time you get here. Plus-" you look at Katsuki who's busy slicing the apples into little slices, designing them to look like bunnies. "-Someone's already taking care of me here. I'll be fine."

Your mother sighs, defeated as you watch her turn around. "Just- stay safe okay? I don't have anyone else."

"I know, mom. I love you so much."

"I love you more, my baby girl."

The two of you pucker your lips for a kiss before ending the call. You lean your back onto your now inclined bed, looking down at the bunny slice Katsuki is offering you. He still has that glare in his eyes, but if you look into them even more, they're much more softer. You take the slice from his fingers, letting out a soft thank you before taking a bite.

"When you blamed yourself a while ago." He starts, making you flinch at the topic. "Don't do that again."

"Suki-"

He slams the knife onto the table, "Please. It's not your fault. Even the strongest people have weaknesses. Don't put all the weight on yourself, please."

Your eyes widen at how vulnerable his voice sounds right now. You reach over, placing a hand on his soft hair. You smile softly, "Alright. I'm sorry I did that. I promise to rely on you more."

Katsuki looks up at you, eyes glassy and face flushing. "I never said you needed to rely on m-"

"I wanna look at the stars." You cut him off quickly, hopping off your bed to saunter towards the window. You push the glass window open, leaning in and taking a deep breath of the cold night air, smiling. You look up at the stars, wishing you had access to the rooftop since the view would be better up there.

"You know, we are at the twenty fifth floor of the hospital." Katsuki says, folding the fluffy blanket that you didn't even realize you were using. You don't think it's yours given that you've never seen it before. Was it Katsuki's?

"What are you saying?" You ask, letting him put on a sweater on you. Again, this piece of warm clothing wasn't yours as well. But by the sweet caramel scent it gave off, you come to a conclusion that this belonged to the angry blond gremlin who is currently standing on the window why the hell is he standing on the window?!

"Bakugou! Are you crazy?! Get off the window now!" You yell, pulling at his pants. "Oh stop being a square." He pushes the warm blanket on you, pulling you with him off the window and out of the hospital room. Before you let out a scream, he uses his quirk to push you two upwards, his hand gripping your sides tightly as your feet land on the cemented rooftop of the hospital.

At the notice of you no longer in the doorstep of death, you resort to hitting Katsuki's arm, letting your mouth run as you lecture him about how dangerous that act was. He responds to your reprimanding with a loud, milky, genuine laugh. Your hand comes to a hault as well as your mouth and you just stand there, awestruck at how handsome Katsuki actually looks when he's smiling.

You place a closed hand on your chest, feeling as your heart thumps against it vigorously. Ah, there it was again. The butterflies in your stomach that made your body feel lighter than it usually felt and your drying throat as well as your sweating palms.

"Come on, I find stargazing relaxing." He says, the usual angry tone of his voice gone, catching you off guard. He wraps his hand around your wrist softly, pulling you towards the center of the rooftop. He places the soft blanket on the ground, folding it once so it isn't too thin before laying down, patting the empty space for you. You mirror his actions, laying down beside him as you gazed up at the stars.

"You ever wonder what the alternative universe us are like?" You ask, eyes staring up at the twinkling stars as Katsuki raises a brow, turning his head towards you. "You believe in that bullshit?" He chuckles, making you gasp. "Don't call it bullshit! What else are the stars for??"

Katsuki presses his lips together to stop his laughter, "I don't know~ What are they for?" He asks you, tone sarcastic and pushing you off the edge. "To tell us about the future, and to show us how many other worlds are there other than ours!"

Katsuki can no longer hold in his laughter, clutching his stomach as he laughs his heart out. You narrow your eyes at him, pouting and crossing your arms against your chest. "Let me guess, let me guess." Katsuki wipes a tear away, "You also believe in the red string of fate?"

"How could you not believe it when-" You stop yourself from continuing your words. How could you not believe it when it caused the two of us to meet?

"When what? Come on, tell me! I promise not to laugh." You turn away, sitting up. Katsuki is still laughing as he follows you, taking your hand in his. "What else do I not know about you?" He asks, curling his four fingers with yours as he stands his thumb up, preparing for a thumb wrestle. You follow his actions and the two of you start the game. "I can't swim." You start.

"I had a pet goldfish but it died after a week." Katsuki chuckles.

"I only ever had two friends growing up- they were my mother's bodyguards. Eliot and Andrew."

"I like to cook."

"I still have my stuffed toys from when I was young."

"I tried to learn how to drive but after almost running over a cat, I swore never to drive again."

"I was pretty popular in middle school."

You chuckle, "I was bullied in middle school."

Katsuki stops moving his thumb, allowing you to pin his down. Your face brightens up as you smile, "I win!" You look up at him, smile almost immediately falling at the sight of his grin expression.

His head drops, covering up his eyes. "Hey, what happened? Did I say something wrong? Come on Suki, talk to me."

"I'm- Do you hate bullies?" He asks, his head still hanging.

"Well, hate is a strong word..." You look up at the stars, as if they were going to give you the right word you were looking for. "But I dislike them. What's the point of putting down someone especially when they've done nothing wrong to you? I don't use the word hate because I don't want to use it incorrectly, but to me bullies are sometimes just misunderstood or something. They have that superiority complex and I like to think that they have it because of their past that we don't know about or the thoughts they have in their heads."

You feel him padding his thumb over your hand. "Hey, you okay?" You ask, cupping his jaw to make him look uo at you. The look in his eyes, takes you aback- he looks so sad and regretful which only stirrs up more questions in your head.

"You're so good. You're such a good person, Y/n." His words cause you to furrow your brows in confusion. What was going on inside his head?

He drops his head to your shoulder, "You're an angel, Y/n. People are so lucky to have you in their lives."

You don't even think twice before the words leave uour mouth. "Even you?"

It takes him a few moments to respond and you begin to think that you made a mistake asking him that, but you feel him nod on your shoulder. "Especially me."

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