#which takes place chronologically around Year 2 as well

[distort-opia]

Alright excuse my compulsion to situate everything within a timeline, but. I love that now there's more than one story taking place before The Killing Joke that establishes Bruce empathizing and relating to Joker, and that Zdarsky clearly took inspiration from the one before his own for this aspect of Bruce and Joker's relationship.

The events of Zdarsky's I Am A Gun take place while Dick is a boy and still Robin, early in Batman's career... and so does Darwyn Cooke's amazing-showstopping-spectacular Batman: Ego. In Ego, we get another instance of Bruce's mind being split in two; there being a separation between Bruce and Batman, with the embodiment of Batman arguing for Joker's murder:

-- Batman: Ego

But Bruce says no. He says he isn't a killer:

Forever obsessed with how Darwyn Cooke so efficiently conveys how Bruce understands Joker, and relates to him. He knows Joker chose madness to deal with tragedy, that he was faced with the same choice Bruce was, and that Bruce could've become him. Because that's what Bruce lapsing into laughter and acting like Joker shows.

But the story is centred around Bruce in Batman: Ego, while in I Am A Gun... perhaps the best line to summarize it is Bruce thinking to himself, "Is the Joker broken too?" in Batman (2016) #128. It's not just the two facets of Bruce vs. Batman in this story, it's also the two facets of Joker: a human being, and a monster.

The conflict in Bruce is mirrored in Joker, and I am kissing Zdarsky on the mouth for acknowledging it and portraying it so beautifully. There's a monster in Bruce made out of hollow anger, and there's a human being crying for help buried inside Joker:

-- Batman (2016) #130 -- I Am A Gun

"He'll fix you." And Martha being the one to say this, the one who becomes Joker herself in a different world, a different Universe... perhaps it's not intentional, but it feels so relevant. In Flashpoint, Thomas Wayne is a Batman who kills. In New 52's Earth 2, he's a Batman who killed Joker himself. And in Bruce's head, it's Thomas Wayne arguing for Joker's death.

But I just love that keeping both I Am A Gun and Ego in mind, knowing that these thoughts and emotions were there for Bruce for years, makes The Killing Joke... even more poignant.

Bruce has been thinking about this for a long time. And all of it coming to a head with the iconic offer for help, with the one time Bruce offered Joker his hand despite what Joker had just done...

-- Batman: The Killing Joke

[clenches fist] It's beautiful.

#long post #and this not even mentioning Bruce going up to Joker's cell and showing him the playing card as revealed in DotF #which takes place chronologically around Year 2 as well #or freaking Going Sane which takes place before Dick came along #fascinating how all these stories shape the early years of Bruce's relationship with Joker. BEFORE Jason's murder #because that changed so much for Bruce. for both of them #I'm also going [WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN] about Batman 130 itself and Bruce thinking of Joker before ''dying'' #I Am A Gun and TMWSL tie in thematically TOO WELL #identity crises! identity crises everywhere #hnng. anyway. I'm sorry I had to exorcise the Thoughts #batman #batman meta #bruce wayne #bruce wayne meta #joker #batjokes #batjokes meta #my meta #batman: i am a gun #batman: ego

[sunbloomdew]

Love Confessions in the Baxter DLC

Because i am very unwell, thank you. Part 1/3

After over 70 hours of playing the Baxter DLC – and despairing over that one monochrome guy, you know who – I wanted to take a moment to talk about all the possible love confessions in Baxter's version of Step 4. I find them all lovely and each of them made me squeal and smile like crazy, and i just gotta express my appreciation for them somewhere.

In Step 4 there are three love confessions. Two of them can be initiated by the MC, and the third one will be proclaimed by Baxter, if the MC doesn’t confess first. I tried all of them a couple of times, and they are all very cute (although my personal favourite is the confession the morning after the wedding)!

Before we begin i want to warn y’all that i wasn’t sure about the approach i wanted to take when talking about these moments, and as a result this post might not be a "put together careful game analysis" thingy. It's mostly just my ramblings and feelings that hopefully are a-okay to read haha. Without further delay, let’s begin!

Spoilers for specific moments in Baxter's version of Step 4!

All of the confessions take place after the wedding ceremony, so if you hadn't gotten there and don't wanna spoil those great moments for yourself i don't recommend reading further. I will go quite in depth about each option.

In chronological order, the first feelings declaration is the confession immediately after the wedding has ended.

Or as i've been referring to it in my head, The Wedding Confession!

Everybody is busy cleaning up, and MC hasn’t had a chance to have a one-on-one moment with Baxter since they split off in the morning. Naturally, they want to talk with him after the event is over. There is this underlying fear, that Baxter will leave again and they can't let that happen.

The two talk and Baxter apologises for his actions towards MC, five years ago in Sunset Bird and now, after they met again. I need to add that this apology is very well written and it definitively pulled on my heartstrings. Here the player can choose to confess on their own, accept his friendship hoping for a different type of relationship later on or just become friends.

Since i’m yet to play Baxter’s version of Step 4 with platonic feelings, i don’t know if this option appears if you have him at Fond. If anyone of you has done it, i would love to hear what it looks like! For example, does the player get to confess either way, in case they changed their mind (just how here you can choose to be friends)?

Moving further, if we choose to confess right away we get to pick how we want to do that - with words or by kissing him. Each choice will be preceded with an internal monologue from MC about their and Baxter’s relationship and what he means to them. I really like the way it's written. They go through all of the stages they've been around each other. If you met him at the Cypress in Step 2 Soiree Moment they mention how he was a boy in their memories, becoming real when they meet again by chance during summer of 2016. How he made this summer into everything and more and how he left. The years apart and finally the summer they reunited. I can't explain my feelings well, but i find this monologue very sweet but also full of longing - it makes me smile and it makes my heart ache at the same time.

Depending on when the MC confesses, Baxter has a different reaction to their silence. Since now he is waiting for them to accept him into their life again, he gets nervous the longer MC is lost in their thoughts, which is reflected in the expressions of his character model. It’s described as cracks of anxiety appearing on his face and him slipping back into his professional pleasantness. He chose to be vulnerable, and how MC replies will affect him.

After the character’s musings end the player gets one last chance to reaffirm the decision to confess.

Personally, I really like that we have the option to do so. Not only is it useful in case the player suddenly changed their mind, but also helps create the response you want from your MC.

If you back out then you no longer can confess in that moment. The story progresses the same as in the case of choosing not to confess. You can confess later in the game, or not confess at all and have Baxter do that.

If you pick the option to check if he means it, Baxter will reassure MC about wanting to stay by their side. It’s really adorable - especially since in response to MC he says “I do” (ya know, the famous wedding catchphrase) which he immediately follows up with: “You’ll have to excuse me for using that answer at someone else’s wedding, but I am entirely serious.” What a dork. After picking this option only two of the three are left - you can go further or back out.

And finally, you can confess. MC makes note of how now that the wedding was over, there would be no complications for the newlyweds (although they thought Miranda proposing to Terry at their wedding would be a great idea, so they really wouldn't mind lol). They think that since Baxter asked them out first, five years ago, it’s only fair that they do it now. It's one line, but for some reason i like this sentiment a lot. Like hell yeah, go MC! Ask him out now, make him speechless!

When it comes to spoken confessions, there is an abundance of choices to pick from. But my absolute favourite option is to echo Baxter’s own words from Step 3 Sightseeing Moment back at him: "Could I consider all the time we've spent together a date?". Chef’s kiss, it’s all coming together like a beautiful piece of tapestry. Simply iconic of them.

Confessing with a gesture has less options to choose from, but all are equally cute! If you choose to confess in this way, MC will have a short revelation about how different kissing Baxter now feels to kissing him five years ago. Baxter reacts a bit differently to this type of confession, since MC enters his personal space. My favourite is confessing by kissing Baxter on the forehead. It's absolutely precious.

The way Baxter reacts to MC confessing to him is… very interesting to say the least. He was ready to be friends them again or accept their rejection (there is no option like that in the game, but realistically, you just know he would prep himself up for this possibility) but he was not ready for a love confession. Baxter gives MC a moment to move past this and pretend that nothing happened, but it’s not going to work. I find that a curious thing to do. Baxter isn't hoping that MC doesn't have feelings for him and he himself does for them, but there is still that feeling of insecurity in him, that prevents him from accepting the confession right away.

We have the option to have MC sweep Baxter into a dance, or keep talking without that. I love the former choice and i always pick it for my character haha. It’s especially cute how Baxter stumbles and is so out of his depth. Both because of the unexpected movement and the sudden confession.

You can pick an option to tell him, that MC wanted to be with him even five years ago. His reaction to it is just. He is stunned and he doesn't believe it. But he knows MC isn't lying as well. I can feel the conflicted emotions he must have been experiencing upon hearing that just in one line of dialogue. And i think that's pretty powerful writing.

But then he fires back. He is full of disbelief and he doesn’t understand what could he have possibly done to deserve MC's affections. He doesn’t want to call MC a liar but he can’t accept that outcome either. Baxter’s old ways of dealing with relationships are resurfacing, because he can’t believe that he has the right to form such a deep connection with someone. It’s pretty heartbreaking to witness.

It's... so sad. "What did i do to make you like me?" he asks, because there must be something, because simply being himself is not enough, when Baxter inherently believes that he doesn't contribute anything. And if he doesn't contribute anything to somebody's life, he has no place in it.

MC decides to change tactics. Instead of trying to make Baxter accept their feelings, they ask what they mean to him. Whether they end up together is secondary - their goal is to help him overcome his mindset. I find that a really powerful act of love - helping the person you care about understand that they deserve to be loved without extravagant outings and carefully constructed barriers.

I really love Baxter’s response in this confession because it is very true to his character arc. His hesitance, how he withdraws and tries to appear unaffected. He reciprocates MC’s feelings, but he is too ashamed of himself and afraid. His view on himself makes him think that he can't be in a relationship with someone or friends with them, and that is something i find deeply sad. Still, he answers MC’s questions, with a few prefaces. He cites his inability to do things in the morning, less financial income and his past relationship management as reasons for why MC wouldn’t want to be with him. It’s him giving MC the chance to resign, to take back the love confession while they can. It reminds me of declining a meeting with your friends, because you believe that they will have more fun without you. It's self-preservation of your own feelings and diminishment of your impact on others, which comes from some form of dissatisfaction with the way we are.

But MC doesn't take their feelings back. They assure him that they want to be with him.

And once that is done, they ask him:

(I usually can comment on writing/art, but when i can't that's how you know it's the shit. i sat with my mouth open and my hands flapping around just cause this confession got me that excited <3)

This is the dialogue you get when you have Baxter on Crush. If you pick Love, instead of "I want to be with you" he will say "I'm in love with you".

Just like that, he accepts. I was totally shocked when that happened, but well, it does make sense. It was never a question, and Baxter admits so himself. He never stopped wanting to be with MC. He further expresses that he wasn't happy pushing them away five years ago and when they met again. It's quite sad to hear him admit that he didn't think staying together (in more than a romantic way) was an option until moments ago. But he got there ultimately and that's worth celebrating. Growth isn't linear, and sometimes we fall back to our old habits.

I really adore how openly Baxter expresses his affection for the MC, in the confession and later. Compared to Step 3 it feels more mature (no shit, sherlock) but also self-assured. Because he is finally starting to believe, that this - a relationship with a person who really knows him and chooses to stay - is something he can have.

These two lines of dialogue? Murdered me in my sleep with love and care. Sir, how dare you do that to me.

After that the two sillies finish their dance. Their story has a happy ending, they have been reunited. I adore how warm and happy this situation feels, and the descriptions make it feel so light and cheerful, like the moment with MC failing to catch their breath because they are laughing gleefully or Baxter holding them in a gentle embrace.

I really like this confession. Like i said before, it’s very true to Baxter’s character, and it also shows, that despite having good intentions and doing everything you can to change, people can still slip back into their old habits. But there will be people around you that believe you can learn and do better, and will stay with you and help you through it.

I also adore the overall silliness (after the angst is over, but i do love my fair share of angst as well) and the emotional beats. The characters banter, joke around.

And express how much they care about each other.

Also the fact that Miranda, Terry and Cove just gawked at the pair while they were having this huge emotional event is just hilarious. They are very nosy friends and i love them for that lol. Of course, Baxter is completely unaffected. GB Patch knew that if they made this man blush more than he already does in the game, they would actually kill us.

I'm not kidding, i die every time he blushes and get revived when he snorts. That's just the circle of life.

So yeah, that was one out of the three confessions! It's amazing and i hope i was able to convey what i love about it! Prior to playing the Baxter DLC i had around 50 hours on Steam, and after i got it It turned into 120 hours so... Yeah, Baxter Ward.

I'm splitting my confession ramblings into three posts for convenience. Parts 2 and 3 will be finished soon... Hopefully. Once they are i will place links to all the parts in each post (if i learn how to,,,,). Also wow, this post took me way too long to write, holy shit.

Peace out <3

Part 2!

#baxter ward #baxter dlc #our life beginnings & always #our life beginnings and always #olba baxter #olba #gamer hours #sunbloom talks #our life #gb patch games #haru's surname is going through a crisis #in that playthrough i used “nakamura” but i often use “kealoha” as well #i'm working on step 1 haru drawings so you'll see in sometime!!

[adrian-sheppy]

ur timeline post is insane and fantastic do the others have a grasp on or figure out, or even believe, that the prime timeline is just that—the original? or is that just the naming system? how would they react to that sort of explanation? who wants to return to their timeline first/is that the goal overall for any of them? :’0

to preface, i tend to use timeline/universe interchangeably.. ok . long post time. be warned.

1. do the others understand they're in the prime timeline?

as of right now, this system uses "interuniversal" passports planted on everybody by gee-man as they enter the prime timeline. this was to get around the problem of people having the same name. I love freemanverse but i could not understand how they came to the conclusions of accepting our third-party naming conventions. why would freemind call himself freemind when his name is gordon freeman? martini (who can go by his middle name) doesn't get the "feetman" name joke until way later, so calling him that off the bat would be weird (his passport changes  from gordon "martini" freeman to gordon "martini" feetman when the feet pic bit occurs). No one's name is ACTUALLY barmey, mindrian, freerun, freemercy, etc... but it is on the passport! and they use these names when referring to each other.

okay, so. the naming thing was the main function of the passport, but it has other standard information on it

Dates of birth - explanatory

date issued - release date of their IN REAL LIFE series (I.e Gordon is Nov 19 1998)

date expired - res cas day according to the prime timeline

(These three dates are often conflicting and confusing, which is as intended. They all exist in different years BUT the events of their universes are taking place at the same time. Timelines are synced up.)

AND THEN! place of origin. Every timeline gets assigned a number based on when they were chronologically conceived (for the most part. it's not a strict rule. it can be bent for convenience or funny/cool purposes).

ips: 000

og gordon: 001

freemind: 002

gorgeous: 003

so on and so forth. i like to pair these letters with numbers (HL-001, M-002 (M, not FM, because it's "Mindverse."*) G-003, etc)  seeing as HL-001 is One, they can come to the conclusion themselves that it's the "prime" timeline. whether they ACTUALLY call it that is debatable. i just do it because star trek does, but this requires a more "robust" naming system since it's more than just "prime," "alternative," and "mirror."

*Mindverse technically has alternative timelines too, but we're going with the one where gordon enters the test chamber (not stark) and gordon would've been taken by g-man (not felix)

2. How would they react to that sort of explanation?

Everything is very overwhelming and nonsensical. Since the collisions take place (for the most part) over the course of the rescas, most of them are too stressed to try to fully grasp the situation. They have their interuniversal passports, which just materialized on their person/with their belongings when they get sucked into the prime timeline, so they know SOMETHING IS UP. Some care more than others, like Freemind and Martini (not a game au) both freak out. Freemind probably thinks he's high for a bit even though he doesn't FEEL high. Martini thinks he's going crazy or hit his head, which doesn't help when the science team acts like this is a perfectly normal thing (while it's not a game, they all have their "npc" quirks). The science team is also the narrative vessel which can help explain the phenomenon. emphasis on can. Coomer understands the framework, while Tommy has a more intimate knowledge. But neither explain anything too quickly. Coomer wants playcoins and Tommy would acknowledge the "glitching" and correctly identify it as dangerous and warn the others about it.

The timeline information is accepted. There's not much they can do. They're in an alternate universe? Ok. Well, first things first, don't die from rescas. It's not until later that the information is DIGESTED. This would be during any downtime they have while going through Black Mesa (think how the HLVRAI crew took the occasional nap) and then when they enter the domestic arc. For the most part, everyone thinks that they've somehow JUMPED universes, not that their universe and another have collided together. I guess this could be considered a "plot twist" and if I was writing a comic (comic ver 2.5!) there would be a somber moment where everyone who cares realizes that THIS is there home now. it's familiar and unfamiliar. they know it but they don't. No one is devastated, but it's a very aimless feeling. Characters like Freerun, Gorgeous, Freecat, and Freemercy are "emotionally detached"   from their timelines, so their reactions range from not caring to easily adjusting.

3. who wants to go home and is that an overall goal?

I think Martini, Freemind, and Cicero would all want to go home, Martini more urgently since he has Joshie. No one really understands the depth that Cicero wants to go home due to language barrier, but it is assumed. Freemind wants to go home moreso out of paranoia that being in a different universe was harmful to him on a molecular/quantum level (it's not) and that having multiple of him around is WEIRD and he wanted to go back to being the one-and-only while reveling in the fact he was cosmically significant enough to have parallel universes based on him.

Everyone makes the assumption that there is a home to return to. Their first goal is to survive the rescas. Once they get through that, they awkwardly all move in together (where else are they supposed to go?). This living situation is considered temporary... but.. it's not.

(malmo by mook is one of THE freemanverse songs no i do not take criticism)

Their expectations are curbed quickly. At this point one of the gmen (likely mr.coolatta or gee-man) or tommy would just come out and say yeah there is no other (relevant) universe. it's just this one now. (the merging process is... difficult to explain so I'm not going  to try right now. maybe later..). Cicero wanted to go home because people understood them there and thats where all his friends were. but Molly and others (sugar man , corp) are here now, and his new friends are making the effort to break the language gap. Martini wanted his son and he got his son. Freemind has an actual group of people who care about and support him, something he's not used to having (and barmey is there too. giggles. grins.). No one is particularly upset at learning the prime timeline was now also THEIR timeline since their . liek. hierarchy of needs gets filled. it's like if your house burned down but it didnt ACTUALLY burn down, it just FEELS like it did, and then there was an exact copy in its place with miniscule (but noticeable) differences. like something changed and there's a feeling of loss but you actually haven't lost anything. it's sobering and might be upsetting for a little bit, but it's also familiar and comforting. its ok. they all have gained something now. f... family. found family . grins. smiles even.

#we can figure out how to fit any of the new HLVRAI2 characters into the timeline when we get there. #im a freemanverse and buttermind fan. making shit up is my specialty #i tried to make the mechanics of how everythign works open ended enough so that new gordon/other characters can join with little alteration #of established “”“canon”“” #...canon used lightly #half life #freeman's mind #mindverse #freemanverse #gordonverse #hlvrai #asks

[blueepink07]

I decided to look at the calendars and the timetable in Muu's MVs and I think I found some interesting things!

Taking in chronological order, the first calendar should be this one, which has the cherry blossoms. In Japan, usually, the flowering cherry trees come into full bloom around the beginning of April. It is the month when the new year of school starts for students.

So it seems that the friend group started the bullying, since the beginning of the school year, Rei's clothes being wet and her items being splattered on the floor. (the calendar in this scene also shows the cherry blossoms)

Remember this is the moment when Rei decides to turn "upside down" Muu's reputation at school, when she considers that enough is enough.

So then it raises the question... How much time Muu was bullied at school?

Well to find out we have again to look at the calendar.

This one should be a month from autumn, more exactly early September.

To understand better my line of thoughts, I will explain how did I reached this conclusion!

Beginning with the timetable!

Considering that the murder takes place during sunset, I thought that it was important to find when Muu finishes her classes.

"In a typical high school in Japan, teachers gather each morning at 8:30 a.m. for a brief meeting. Students meet at 8:35 a.m. for a 5-minute homeroom period. Regular classes begin at 8:45 a.m. and there are four 50-minute classes before lunch. High school students eat in their homeroom. "

With this information, I figured out that the empty space between hours is for lunch, because there are already four classes before it.

"Two afternoon periods are followed by school clean-up and a 5-minute homeroom meeting, after which students are dismissed at 3:30 p.m."

Muu has, after lunch, one or two afternoon periods.

Also, interesting she also has four classes on Saturday, something that is pretty common in Japan. "On Saturday the day ends after four periods, at 1 p.m."

Getting back to the topic, the classes usually end at 3:30 pm or 4 pm most of the time. However, it's pretty clear that it's not the hour when Rei goes home and the murder happens. Not only the sunset will not start so early, but also Muu's phone gives us a hint of the time.

But why are they at such a late hour at school, if the classes should end at around 3:30 pm? Simple, club activities after classes, at which most students in Japan attend to!

"Club activities are held after school and run until 5 or 6 p.m. One hour per week is devoted to mandatory club activity. Other club activity is voluntary."

They last around 2 hours, so, if we take into consideration Muu's timetable, the clubs should end at around 5:30 - 6 pm. (might depend on the club)

Now, I want to point out this specific interrogation question:

"What kind of kid where you?"

The past tense it's very interesting to me: "I did many extracurricular activities". Yes, it might refer to her younger self, but, considering that, even in high school, clubs are heavily encouraged in Japan, it's rather odd that she doesn't say that she still attends them.

That's because, in reality, she probably stopped going to those once she started to be bullied, which explains why she is the only one in the classroom, waiting for the club activities to be finished, so she can go home.

"School club activities, commonly known as “bukatsu” in Japan, play a significant role in the lives of students. These extracurricular activities are an integral part of the Japanese school experience, providing a platform for personal growth, skill development, and fostering a sense of community."

Club activities are a good way to spend your time with your friends, while doing something that you like. Because Muu started to be bullied, she had no reason to attend to these anymore. Not only she would spend her time alone, but also risk being picked on again, preferring to stay in the classroom.

With the idea that the clubs from Muu's school should end around 5:30 pm, we can decide the month based on when the sun fully sets.

I will admit that it took me a while to notice the yellow dots, which should resemble the leaves, so, because of the warm colours, I thought that the calendar showed July. Not August, because, in most schools in Japan, there is a summer vacation which starts from July 20 to August 31.

However, considering that Muu lives in Minato Ward, Tokyo, as seen in this post, the sun should fully set at around 7 pm, during July. Which doesn't really makes sense, because Rei should be outside of school, after club activities and some time spent preparing her herself to go, at around 5:40 - 5:45 pm, when there is not a sunset.

What made me, at first, not consider autumn as an option, where the green leaves from this scenery. So I researched a little and found put that in Tokyo, the leaves don't start to fall until late November.

Which left me with two options: September and October.

October was easily out of the question, because, in the first day of October the sun fully sets at 5:26 pm, which is too early.

Which leaves us with September, when the sun sets at around 6 pm. Taking into account the minutes before Muu reaches Rei in that day, I think it's safe to assume that early September, should be the time when the murder took place.

I hope I gave a good explanation and found some interesting things about Muu! Thank you for reading!

Sources if anyone is interested!

#took a while to this but I'm quite pround! #milgram theory #milgram #muu kusunoki #milgram muu #thoughts

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

FourRaccoonsInACoat Masterlist

Thanks for stopping by my masterlist, I am thrilled there are people who are interested in my writing! You may be asking, did I really create a logo for a nonexistent book series that only exists in the BG3 universe and features Malta the crime-fighting cat, all for the sake of a gag?

Yes. Yes I did. I will speak no more on the matter.

My fanfiction is centered around Baldur's Gate 3 and explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge. The Durge MC in my works is based on my first BG3 Durge, a female half-drow warlock named Eli. I currently have one ongoing chapter fic, as well as a few one shots that all take place in the same universe.

I write fanfiction for myself as a way to decompress from life and because I enjoy sharing my stories with others. It legitimately makes my day when someone is entertained by my writing, so thank you for every comment, like, message and kudo. Much love and appreciation to you all!

Also, if you're here for BG3 Incorrect Quotes, follow that link for the masterlist.

____________________

AO3 Account - All of my works are crossposted to AO3.

Ongoing Work

Head Full of Ghosts:

Current Rating: M

Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Eli has spent a lot of time combing through her fractured psyche, trying to piece together any semblance of facts about who she was before she awoke on a mind flayer nautiloid. In all that self-reflection, she has concluded there are two things she is very good at. Killing people and drinking.

Neither of which is proving very useful as she tries to navigate interpersonal pitfalls after being appointed leader of a ragtag group of maladjusted misfits who are trying to source a cure for the illithid tadpoles in their heads. As if that isn't problematic enough, she's also having to contend with the growing affections between herself and the group's resident vampire spawn, Astarion.

Between fanatic cultists, goblin raids, murderous urges and cryptic memory loss, Eli figures a relationship is the last thing she ought to get herself wrapped up in. And from what she's seen of Astarion, the cavalier rogue seems to have his own breeds of specters haunting his steps.

Neither one of them has any business mucking about with romance. But, neither one of them is particularly good at staying away from things that entice.

____________________

One Shots

In chronological order:

Fall for Me ---> Faint of Heart ---> Midnight Prayer

Fall for Me

Rating: E NSFW18+

Astarion wakes from a nightmare and goes to Eli, seeking reassurance as he struggles with the denial of his feelings. The last thing he wants to do is give someone else control over him, not after he’s so recently regained a taste of freedom. Over the past 200 years, every relationship Astarion was involved in had been nothing more than a means to an end, with Astarion either playing the role of manipulator or the one being manipulated. Attachments were leverage, giving someone a hook they were able to dig their claws into in order to gain ground. Isolating himself from connecting with others was how he had survived.

This, however…this was different. 

Rating: M

Faint of Heart

Somewhere along the way, more and more truth has begun to slip into the words Astarion has been using to charm Eli into his bed. He's not sure when it started, but sometime between their passionate nights and hard fought days, genuine feelings began to stir.

It all comes to a head after the crew stages a prison break out of Moonrise Towers. Now, during a rare evening of respite, Astarion is determined to make a confession, regardless of his fears over the fallout.

Rating: M

Midnight Prayer

Neither Eli nor Astarion knows what they're doing when it comes to romance. Their combined histories with healthy relationships adds up to an unsurprising total of zero. Astarion once admitted to Eli that he couldn’t remember ever bedding the same person twice. And Eli…well, she can't remember anything, frankly. Her memories of past lovers are nonexistent…at least…

At least until today. Today, when they’d finally met the infamous Enver Gortash.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur’s gate iii #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion romance #astarion fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion x dark urge #astarion x durge #astarion x tav #astarion headcanons #bg3 headcanons #bg3 fanfic #bg3 fanfiction #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic

[anderscim]

✦ another (even wilder) theory with bagel

similar to my teruko theory, this one also has a lot of room for rebuttal. to be honest, a lot of the evidence i have for this is quite flimsy (_ _;)

this theory is mainly about mai akasaki’s connection to the cast, and how it relates to the killing game in general.

take this with a grain of salt as always

//spoilers for up to chapter 2 part 1 of drdt

//additional spoilers for bonus content, such as the bonus episodes and the new “literature girl insane” MV

there shouldn’t be any tally5 spoilers if i’m not wrong ( ・∇・)

here’s one question i have for you all: how many members in the cast, right now, actually know mai akasaki?

it’s definitely implied in the bonus episodes and the quotes on her character page that she’s connected with everyone in the current cast, but there was a paradox i noticed—if it even is one, that is (-.-;)—that led me to think that this question…may actually be a lot more complicated than it seems.

let’s bring up the bonus episodes first. min’s bonus episode is definitely during their time at hope’s peak. they’re literally at the school, studying about it, discussing min’s “role” as an ultimate compared to the other students, etc. basically, many details point to min and “unnamed classmate” (who is presumably mai, based on the flowers in the dialogue box of the bonus episodes matching up with those on mai’s tattoo) being students of hope’s peak academy in the united states. though there’s no physical evidence or exact basis for this, i would personally like to think that xander’s bonus episode is placed during spring break at the academy. he is talking to his “classmate,” after all—and in that case, it would also chronologically line up with min’s (whose bonus episode takes place a week before spring break).

presumably, the other bonus episodes will follow a similar pattern, and we will see mai/UC talking to other members of the DRDT cast to get to know them more. i will assume this means that the whole cast, not just min and xander, have been to hope’s peak before—and attended class as students there. after all, it would be the only way the bonus episodes would make sense.

however, the dialogue from the first few episodes of the series suggests something else.

as implied from the dialogue, all of the students believe they are only entering the entrance ceremony of hope’s peak as freshmen, and had no previous affiliation with the school. including xander.

obviously, this means that at the very least, their memories have been tampered with to remove anything regarding their experience at hope’s peak academy.

— sorry, very quick side tangent (*'▽'*) going by this theory, if the drdt cast genuinely went to hope’s peak, it’s very likely that they had to do a bunch of paperwork and submit a lot of information for their enrollment—which probably includes medical information and any accommodations that were necessary for their well-being. additionally, if we assume that the cast attended hope’s peak for a year or a few years, it’s likely that whoever the mastermind is, they had the time to know the rest of their classmates well enough to be able to identify their preferences either way, this would actually be a pretty strong explanation as to why many components of their environment seem to be extremely fine-tuned to their preferences and necessities, despite no recollection of sharing that information with anyone involved in the killing game. though i bet this was already obvious, i felt like it was something i probably should bring up.

—

in that case, however—how would it affect their memories with mai?

as i can’t exactly speculate for the other students, i’m going to trace back to what i know. at the very least, it seems to be implied that min only met mai after being admitted into hope’s peak academy. min essentially drove her entire life around schoolwork, and studying for the “ultimate contest for eminent students,” the test that allowed min to receive her title—it’s likely that before then, she never surrounded herself with friends nor had any time for herself to explore her own hobbies. which probably means that she wasn’t acquainted with mai before enrolling into hope’s peak.

her backstory is really sad, by the way. i really wish she lived longer ( ´△｀)

as for when it comes to the other characters, i would like to remind you that hope’s peak scouts across the country for their students—so it’s more logical to assume that many of them resided in hometowns that were very far away from each other. so unless mai’s talent was the ultimate traveler or something, i think it would be very improbable for her to know everyone in the cast before their admittance into hope’s peak.

taking this into account, and assuming that the cast’s memories of hope’s peak were completely erased, there’s a possibility that the cast doesn’t remember mai akasaki, despite her connections with them. the only exception would be teruko, who clearly remembers mai—and seems to have been helped by her when enrolling into the academy in the first place, pointed out by this theory here by @laly-481.

…or at least, that’s what i thought at first—until someone decided to kick in the door while holding a new music video.

i guess in that case, the biggest question i should answer is this—why does david remember mai?

getting into very, very wild theory territory here. take what i’m about to say with a grain of salt assuming that the music video is really a reflection of david’s worldview and thought process, please ignore the fact that i’m acting like the antithesis of occam’s razor right now, then there’s no reason for mai akasaki to be featured in the video—much less have a photo of her placed in a wooden frame—if he didn’t remember her.

yet, there she is, on the right:

she even has a little description about how she was “someone dearly loved,” which fits perfectly with her character and the secret quotes on her profile page.

this is indicative of the fact that david remembers mai—and knows her well enough to even make an accurate statement about her. but, how?

obviously there’s the simpler explanation of “david knew mai before they went to hope’s peak,” which is of course a totally valid explanation—however, some details about the new music video made me consider a possible, different theory.

a grain of salt? more like, a mountain of salt from here on out

when i was watching the “literature girl insane” music video earlier, i noticed something interesting about this frame: 

here, xander doesn’t have his eyepatch. though i’m not throwing away the possibility that this was just a technical error on the artist’s side—personally, this could be a indication that david knew xander before the killing game. 

seeing as all of the cast are connected by the unnamed “classmate,” after all, it’s a likely possibility that the current participants of the killing game were originally in the same class at hope’s peak academy. which means, they all probably knew each other before this whole killing game went down. 

in an earlier theory, i talked about how xander may have been the person in the opening prologue cutscene, and how he probably had his eye injured at that time. given that the person speaking during that scene is aware of the killing game (and is expressing their desire to end it), this event likely happened right before the killing game started—otherwise, it would be pretty imprudent for the mastermind to announce it and then wait for an entire month to set up everything, then make everyone fall unconscious, then remove their memories, etc. 

what i’m trying to get here is that the cast, had they still retained their memories from hope’s peak, would definitely remember xander with both eyes. however, we know this to not be the case—from his introduction, we all see that xander had already lost his right eye from the beginning of the killing game. therefore, for david to remember xander from before he got his eye injury, he must’ve had at least some partial memory of hope’s peak—otherwise, it would be highly unlikely. this would give a possible explanation as to why the frame of xander without his eyepatch appears in the “literature girl insane” music video. and maybe give a possible explanation as to why david cared about xander despite only knowing him for ~three days. and defended him passionately during the first trial even after a lot of evidence pointed to him attacking teruko.

this also would explain why david remembers mai—assuming they were in the same class, since mai likely had incredibly close connections with the cast (including david), it’s more than likely that david cared about mai and possibly (vaguely) remembered her even after having his memories tampered with.

well, the “no-eyepatch” deduction completely hinges on the assumption that xander didn’t like, take off his eyepatch in front of david like he did with teruko, so i may be completely wrong about this. however, it is interesting that such a small detail was included in the mv.

so is this one:

i don’t know how it is for you guys, but that fork seems suspiciously similar to the fork in the prologue (which i theorized to be the item that caused the injury to xander’s right eye). additionally, the fork literally stabbing the “face” of the clock is… quite symbolic. it may be just me. i’m not sure. (-_-;) though, it could suggest that david remembers that scene—and perhaps knows about the “possible escape” of killing teruko? i highly doubt he was the one who wrote the note (rather i think that was xander himself), but it may account for that 2nd vote for teruko in the first trial.

my personal (unhinged) theory (with really no way to back it up) is that david may have retained partial memories of his experience at hope’s peak—but probably only a little, definitely not all of them. this may explain why he remembers mai and seems to recall xander before his eye injury (despite xander seemingly not remembering that they’ve met before)—but hasn’t called out the true mastermind nor seems to remember an escape yet. also, though his current behavior in the 2nd trial may imply that he’s trying to end the killing game early via wrong vote, i personally think he’s just breaking down and acting suicidal without that objective in mind, based on his actions.

little side note at the end: it would be absolutely amazing (and ironic) if the two people with the most distant character relationships with the rest of the cast (as of now) happened to remember the single person that had the closest relationships to all of them.

minor clarification/add-on: i just realized that i never said this, really sorry about that. m(_ _)m but basically, i don’t think david has any sort of clear memories regarding xander and mai at hope’s peak—rather, when i say “partial memories” i meant more along the lines of “vague nostalgia you can’t quite place.” he might somewhat recognize their faces at most, but likely not any clear sequences of events. and honestly, what i wanted to talk about more in regards to this theory is more about the fact that only teruko (and maybe david) remember mai in the first place—the rest of the cast probably can’t, with the way their memories were wiped.

uh, this was quite the ride. i truly felt like the antithesis of occam’s razor as i was writing this

however—this theory likely has a lot of points that can be argued against, as well as many other possibilities i didn’t consider. please, don’t be afraid to drop them in your reblogs or comments, i would love to read them!

and as always, take this with a (larger than usual) grain of salt

#bagel’s train of thought #drdt #danganronpa despair time #despair time #mai akasaki #david chiem #xander matthews #fangan #fanganronpa #welcome to “i make random connections and lots of assumptions hourly” #this was definitely fun to make though #i’m probably wildly wrong about all of this #…why is this 1.7k words (￣ ￣) #sorry about that last part by the way. it’s incredibly disorganized #min jeung #(kinda) #(i talked about her a little)

[dmwrites]

2023 fic roundup! Thanks for reading my stuff this year!

Below is all of the fic links, summaries, and any additional notes (in chronological order) from yours truly:)

NPC Bdubs: an in-game explanation to why Bdubs didn’t upload his Limited Life pov- Cleo notices that Bdubs is acting a little weird, almost like some kind of non-playable character.

The Coral Kids’ Keeper: Martyn and Scott live out on a island on the sea on the Limited Life server, and a sea creature that calls himself xbcrafted take interest in them. He protects them. He is here to protect them, right? (Dm note: oh my goddd I love this one still I love the horror at the end [I may just be biased to xb tbh lol])

Impulse’s post-death affirmation: Impulse got second place in Limited Life, and Skizz is so proud of him.

Clock Full of Love: Impulse gave Bdubs a clock in the beginning of Limited Life. At the end, Cleo adds her own touch to it.

Grian and Scar’s punishment: It all started when Grian and Scar touched his (Doc’s) redstone (tunnel bore). Their punishment? Zombiecleo scolding them.

Talks of Adoration on the Tower of Team TIES: Etho and Impulse have more in common then they think, and reflect on it all one sleepless night in the Team TIES base

Big and Handsome God Has A Big Sad: the empires s2 server can’t be empty, right? Sure, Joel hasn’t seen anyone in forever, but people still love him, surely, right? They wouldn’t all leave him. They wouldn’t. Right? (Dm note: this idea wasn’t executed as well as I would have liked, but I really like the crumbling reality vibes of this one)

Cuddling with the Homies: Grian, Impulse, Scar, and Skizz playing Sons of the Forest. They get one tiny-ass tent to all sleep in. It’s if the “only one bed” trope was four dudes being idiots in the woods in a tent.

I know how to keep you warm;)): the new life smp folks wonder if Chillager Martyn will freeze up if he gets flustered. Scott is up to the task. It’s all silly.

Copper Pearlo takes on The Button (2): Grian and Mumbo stumble upon copper golem Pearl

One Year Later: Double Life ended one year ago (when I posted this fic lol). Impulse makes Bdubs another clock

The CuteGuy Who Stepped Up: Scar needs a CuteGuy sidekick, and Grian does not want to be a sidekick in the slightest. Enter Joe Hills from Nashville, Tennessee. (Dm note: the CuteGuy main character was decided by a poll. This is also my second most-liked fic of 2023)

The Slime Code: Gem is a slime in New Life! She calls Jevin on Hermitcraft to ask about any slime rules she now needs to follow

A Dream of Pink: Joel has a dream of showing a pretty girl with pink hair (who roasts him) his hardcore world builds. She seems familiar…

3rd Life x NightVale: the radio transcript when Cecil Palmer from the town of NightVale interviews a strange man with a red sweater and split knuckles and keeps talking about something that happened in a desert. (Dm note: love this one, definitely caters to a very specific audience, but this one shows up in my notifs almost every day. I think I did a good job at the ad breaks and such.)

Sacrificial Impulse: Grian, Scar, and Skizz died while hunting ghosts with Impulse. Impulse wants to bring them back, no matter the cost. Also, EvilNotion is the ghost hunters’ boss.

xB’s Revenge- a Blood on the Clocktower story: based on the first session of hermitcraft’s BOTC, Iskall accuses xbcrafted of being the demon, and xB becomes the first innocent to die. But xB sticks around after death, and wants the sweetest revenge on Iskall. (Dm note: this one is long as hell but man the concept was so good. Drowned!xb is so good.)

Bdoubledown? How Cute: a brief conversation between Impulse and Skizz about Impulse’s brand new soulmate in Double Life

GIGS gets another G: Gem is jealous that Grian, Impulse, Scar, and Skizz are hunting ghosts, and wants to join in. Pearl, local odd woman, has a way. Possession is fun among friends! (Dm note: this is the most liked fic of this year, which is definitely not what I expected lol)

The Dungeon Is Hungry: Hypno thinks all the superstitions around the Decked Out 2 dungeon are stupid. That is until everything goes sideways and Cub is covered in sculk and pointing a sword at him down in level 4.

The Impossible Task: Martyn gets a very simple, two-word task in Secret Life: find RenTheDog. But Ren isn’t here… right? (Dm note: when I thought of this idea I literally said “ouch!” in my head lol)

GIGGS Hunts a Ghost!: the GIGGS crew gets called on by Zedaph to find and capture evidence of a ghost he claims he has seen haunting hermitcraft. (Dm note: the b-plot grian and zed rivalry is so funny to me idk why I decided they hate each other lolll)

A Moment of Peace: Martyn and Cleo are estranged soulmates in Double Life, and they take a moment to drink some tea and talk about what soulmate they’d like to have if they had a choice.

It Feels Different Now (and that’s a good thing): Pearl has to hurt people on the Secret Life server as part of her task, but she takes no joy in it now. She harkens back to what has changed between Double Life and now.

Jimmy’s Grave: Cleo made Jimmy a grave before he died in Secret Life. He did end up dying that very day, and a mourner comes by his grave when it’s all said and done.

Red: Pearl’s favorite color is red. She is made to be a red name, even when she’s not.

Becoming the Villain of the Server: (secret life) Scar digs up Jimmy’s grave to take his spine, to sell it to Joel, pretending that it’s Lizzie’s. Hey, what else is a man to do? (Dm note: this one fucks so hard, i love how fucked up the idea of it is, what Scar would have to do to make it happen. Eating this.)

From One Lonely Winner to Another: Scar wins Secret Life. Sunflowers grow from his skin to be with him as he goes to succeed the final task. (Dm note: another one I love, I just love the aesthetic of it all.)

#seriously thank you #I honestly can’t believe anyone reads my stuff at all #it’s been so fun and rewarding #here’s to another year of putting blorbos into situations

[dib-thing-wannabe]

Okay, since you guys want it, I'm giving it! I may not be making a separate blog for it, but I am taking asks for it! Oh, and the name of the au is:

Chemical Overdose! Captain Underpants Au

Things to know before sending asks:

✨The only ones who will be answering asks are: George, Harold, Mr. Krupp, Captain Underpants, and Melvin! Don't forget Captain Underpants sidekicks, Flaming Ink and Polar Painter! (Yes they are color coded to make things simpler, and Captain Underpants's text will always be bold) (Also Flaming Ink is the same as George, and Polar Painter is the same as Harold. Those are just their superhero personas.) ✨

❌No Nsfw asks! These are children for crying out loud!❌

💕If you want to make fanart of my au, please do so! Just give credit to the au and tag me in it so I can see it!💕

⏲️This takes place around a year after the movie, and in that time frame Mr. Krupp knows and now accepts the fact that he is Captain Underpants, they have all fought multiple monsters, and the relationships between them are closer! I will incorporate some things from the show into the au as well, but not everything, as not only are they not the same timeline, I also haven't watched the show yet.⏲️

🔊I will occasionally posts things that doesn't have any asks, which just simply means that when the event happened, you guys were just not able to reach them during that time! (During the night, talking with another character, ect.) It means that it was meant to happen and that it couldn't have been prevented by any of you!🔊

📴If I randomly turn off asks, that's because I have reached the post limit and didn't want to be bombarded with asks while not being able to answer them!📴

⭐Do not think that I would find it annoying if you are sending me constant asks, whether I'm online or offline, I actually enjoy knowing that you enjoy my au that much! So send as many as you'd like!⭐

🧪Main premise of the au currently: George and Harold have accidentally fallen into unknown chemicals, and it's seems to be taking some strange effects on their body's, including giving them new powers that they could only ever dream of. Though we still don't know why all of their comics come to life...🧪

Links to check out for some more deep-seated lore and some things you need to know about the characters! (They are all in top to bottom chronological order except for the first two links shown)

Characteristics of the mains for the CO! Au!

The looks of the main CO! Characters!

Only a wish, not yet reality...

Just a simple thing to ask...

A mishap in the night.

It's been told, or rather, shown.

New looks for new heros.

The realization.

The First Fight.

Another Gift.

A poem.

The Neverending Nightmare.

An official thank you.

A memory in their sleep 1/2.

A memory in their sleep 2/2.

This will have unexpected consequences...

The fine line has been burned.

Just so everyone knows, by the time this blog thingy first takes place, it's around two to three days before the event that really cements the fact that it's an au, so there will be mentions of events that happened during that time.

So, with that being said, start sending asks and have fun!

The asks are currently open for: George, Harold, and Melvin!!

(Incase someone wants to read my other little fanfics, here)

The Villain's Untold Moldings (Fandom: Pj Masks):

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

The Evil and The Genius (Fandom: Jimmy Neutron):

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

#chemical overdose! captain underpants au #CO! Captain Underpants Au #george beard #harold hutchins #melvin sneedly #CO! George #CO! Harold #CO! Mr Krupp #CO! Melvin #mr. krupp #tetocu #mr krupp #co! captain underpants #Flaming Ink #Polar Painter #Charred Ink

[mlove44lh]

For a lifetime Part II - En/USA version

Part I here

Warnings: NSFW, +18, smut, angst, fluff, original character.

Words: 12.486

Summary: Lewis and Angie met in their childhood and after a short time they were already inseparable, the relationship escalated and soon they became more than friends. But life happened to both and they ended up following different paths. Nine years later they meet again. Is all that love really gone?

Notes: Some events are out of chronological order.

To read the second part, it is not necessary to have read the first, but you might not understand some things.

August 2015

I adjusted the necklace with my initial on my chest and took one last look in the mirror. The red lipstick highlighted my lips in a way that I wasn't sure if it was pretty or obscene. But I tried to push that thought away since I had already changed my lipstick 3 times in the last few minutes.

-Calm down. -I whispered to myself as I stared at my reflection. 

I was still in disbelief at everything that had happened in my life, everything had gone so well in the last few years, but I didn't think it would reach this point. Being part of the creative direction of a brand the size of Valentino is much more than I dreamed of. But here I am, in London, my new home since the last year, working with much more than I dreamed of. The work is wonderful, and even though I don't use my own designs, I help manage everything that involves the brand and the collections.

When all that happened between me and Lewis, for a moment I thought that my plan was not going to work, I was afraid of having given up the best thing in my life for a dream far from coming true. It was hard at first and to this day I think a lot about how it could have been, but I don't regret for a second the decision I made, even though it hurt for years.

I needed the maturity that time brings to be able to remember Lewis with a smile on my face, and I admit that I haven't stopped cheering for him at any moment in all this time. Seeing him win 2 world titles and go on his way to 3rd makes me the happiest and proudest person in the world. But I know that our story had an end, and it took me a while to accept that, but eventually, it happened, I was able to make peace with my decision and the end of our relationship. And today I only feel gratitude for everything we've experienced together.

I took out my phone and checked for one last time the address of the location where the cocktail presentation of the new Valentino collection would take place. As much as I've been at this job for a while, I still haven't gotten used to all the extravagance around it, cocktails like this are something I don't know if I'll ever get used to.

❀

I got out of the car and thanked the driver before closing the door, I looked at the large building and felt intimidated by its size. The marble stairs and columns of the hall only showed a little of all the majesty contained within the place. All the decorations in the party hall were in the beautiful shade of Valentino pink and I couldn't imagine anything more than such good taste.

It didn't take me long to find my coworkers near the bar, the place was full and I didn't know most of the people. There were guests, employees, and other stylists from all over the world. Valentino didn't skimp a bit on this cocktail.

-Angie! -I had left my colleagues and gone to explore the hall when I heard his voice calling me.

-Paolo, my dear! How are you? 

Paolo is the head director of Valentino, he was the one who discovered me in Paris and called me to work for his brand, and over time we ended up becoming great friends.

-Oh I'm good. Everything is perfect. -Paolo handed me his arm, which I accepted. We started to walk together through the hall. -What a wonderful dress, I wonder what talented hand signed it. 

I chuckled at his statement and patted my hand lightly on his. My dress screams Valentino.

-The best of all, of course. 

Paolo was leading me around the room and he seemed to be looking for someone. 

-Come bella, I want to introduce you to our main model of this new collection.

-I thought we would keep on with Miles, no?! 

-Oh no, I think this new collection deserves someone with more…Personality, you know? And luckily we managed to find someone that is perfect for the job.

I was looking at Paolo while walking, so when we got to that person, I didn't notice who it was until I heard his name. 

-Lewis, let me introduce you to our creative director. - He turned to us and I could see the panic in his eyes as he landed on me. I wasn't any different. No fucking way. -Angie, this is Lewis Hamilton. You must know him, great formula 1 driver, and our newest model for the new campaign.

Oh no.

No.

Please no.

The pain I was feeling in my feet because of the high heels disappeared from one second to another. Suddenly I don't feel anything anymore, the huge hall became a small room the moment I realized who was in front of me. I squeezed Paolo's arm unconsciously, I have no idea how my face is at that moment, but if my shock is showing, I'm letting everyone know how surprised I am to see him again.

I feel like I might pass out, it's like all my blood has been drained from my body, I'm freezing, trying to process everything and not end up throwing up right here in front of everyone.

Lewis looks so different. But at the same time, he looks exactly the same person I left at Stevenage nine years ago. It's almost an insult to how the passage of time has only served to make him even more attractive.

I want to run out of this room and not look back, but at the same time, I could also stay here for hours, looking at him and marking in my mind everything that changed in his body and everything that remains exactly the same. Like his eyes, those beautiful eyes that I would recognize anywhere in this world and at any moment in my life, those same eyes that cried with me, and that same lips that made me promises in vain.

I want to cry, I want to hug him and then punch him. All at once. But of course, I won't do any of those things, instead, I'll just stand here, looking at him and pretending that I'm fine and that the memories of years ago don't affect me anymore. I was very wrong to make myself believe that I could get over this man who is now standing right in front of me.

I can't stop looking at him, but from my peripheral vision I can feel Paolo's gaze beside me, burning me, I know I have to do something, but I don't know how. But then Lewis does it for me, and I see his hand move from the side of his body, and extend it in front of me, waiting for a handshake.

-Nice to meet you, Angie. 

Wait a second. What? He will pretend he doesn't know me? If I looked confused before, it's only increased now. Why would he do that? 

why the fuck is he acting like he doesn't know me??

I was static and it took a little push from Paolo to bring me back to reality. I quickly shake his hand, trying not to stay in contact with him any longer than necessary. And hoping my shaking hands would go unnoticed by him and Paolo 

-The pleasure is mine.

I don't know why I didn't deny it either, I could have said something but I didn't. I just followed his game, whatever it is. I don't want to extend this one second longer than necessary.

Lewis smiles at me, which makes my stomach churns with anxiety, that's not his smile, I know him. That smile now is like a programmed, studied, and rehearsed smile. I was there when the smiles were real and unscarred, I spent hours on end looking at that smile and laughing with it, analyzing every detail of its features when there was just enough happiness in it for me to tattoo in my mind. And there's a big difference to that smile now. I hope with all my heart that this is a consequence of his nervousness and not a change that came with these years we spent apart. It would be mean to the world for people not to have the opportunity to see the perfection of his true smile.

I don't smile back at him, if I try to curl my lips into a smile the chances are I'll get the exact opposite and start crying.

I can hear Paolo's voice in the background, but when I start to pay attention Paolo has already stopped talking and is now looking at me with a face that I can't interpret as being too angry or too embarrassed, either way, I can see it in his face how screwed I am.

-Yes. I can't wait to start working with you, I've already had the opportunity to see some pieces, and from what I believe it will be a great collection. -Lewis says looking intently at Paolo. At this point, I no longer know if the question was directed at me or Lewis.

They start talking about the brand, but I can't pay attention to anything. I took my eyes off Lewis and since then the noise in my mind seems to have gotten even bigger. I don't take long to find an excuse and get out of there.

I go to the bathroom and lock the door, the high collar of my dress manages to make me feel even more suffocated, I take one, two, twenty breaths before trying to get my thoughts in order. This is not right, he is a formula 1 driver, I work in the fashion industry, and our paths would never cross, I know that. I thought about it for a long time. I planned my steps so as not to run into his, it was supposed to be a safe field and away from Lewis. Why is this happening? Why now? Just when I was thinking less about us, imagining us less. Suffering less for us.

Us...

And now it's all gone, all the effort I've made to get him out of my mind, and he appears right in front of me, in flesh, blood, and Valentino.

I should have been part of the decision for the new model. I think about talking with Paolo that I don't like Lewis as our principal model, but I couldn't do that, and it's too late for a change like that anyway. I even think about resigning, but that is out of the question, not when it took me years to live this dream, and not because of a ghost from my past that I insisted on keeping alive.

At the end of the day, I'll just have to deal with it and live the next few weeks running from Lewis. And just thinking about it makes me feel suffocated again.

I take out my phone and check the notifications, I come across an angry Paolo in my messages.

"What’s wrong with you?" 

"Why did you treat our model that way, Angie? Are you insane?" 

"You're lucky I love you and your work is phenomenal, otherwise I swear you were out. I'm so pissed at you." 

-Shit.

God, I could scream right now, everything happening all at once. I type and delete a reply to Paolo several times, not sure what to say to him. What excuse can I make for what just happened? 

"Sorry, I don't know what just happened to me. I promise it won't happen again."

I send the message to Paolo and check the hours before locking my phone screen. Two more hours and I can go home. Two more hours, that's all, and I'll go home, throw myself under the covers, and never come out. 

I leave the bathroom and go back to where I was before my night turned into this craziness.

-Can I have a whiskey on the rocks? -I ask the bartender as soon as I lean against the bar counter. He didn't take long to serve my drink. I swallow all of the amber liquid in a few sips, the burn of the alcohol going down my throat doesn't have the immediate effect I'd like it to, I can still feel my whole body tense. I don't think even an alcoholic coma could calm me down at this moment.

The bar is emptier, most people are now on the dancefloor. I try to spot Lewis but he's nowhere to be seen, I want to make sure I'm at a safe distance from him.

After putting down my glass on the marble counter, I get off the stool and walk outside, which is even emptier. I light a cigarette and try to dissipate him from my mind. Don't blame me, 4 years in Paris makes anyone a smoker.

I try with all the tactics I've developed over the years to put him out of my thoughts. Even after all this time I still haven't found the secret formula for it.

I smell him before I hear his voice, the smell that's been imbued in my brain since the last hour when we meet again. His new fragrance is enjoyable, certainly an expensive perfume that he can now afford it without any difficulty.

-That's not a healthy habit. As I recall you hated that sort of thing. 

I turn to face him. 

-Oh, so you remember me.

He gives me a wanton half-smile that makes me mad. 

- I'm sorry, I didn't know what to say there. I don't want people to start to assume anything.

Pretentious.

-And why would people start to assume anything? -I put out my cigarette and throw it into the ashtray beside me. 

His half-smile disappears. He doesn't answer me. I wait a few seconds before realizing that that was the end of our conversation.

So I walk past him to head back into the party. 

I feel his fingers wrap around my wrist and 

by the surprise of the contact, I stop immediately to look at him. Lewis is inches away from me now, and if it weren't for the whiskey and the cigarette I would probably already exploded from the tension by now.

He's so close, too close to make me intoxicated, too close to stop me from thinking clearly. 

-Let's talk. Please. -His voice is so low that I have to think twice if he really just said that, or if it was just my imagination.

-We don't have anything to talk about, Lewis. 

I calmly let go of him and start climbing the stairs to enter the hall. 

-We meet again like this, after all this time, after everything we've had, our whole history. Don't you think it means something?

I laugh at his comment. I go down the few steps I managed to climb before being interrupted and return to the position I was before.

-It means you agreed to be a model for the brand I work for and now I'm going to have to deal with you for weeks until this is all over. That's all it means. -I went back up the stairs while holding my dress so I wouldn't end up stepping on it. How dare he say that kind of thing when I was the one suffering for him while he was with someone else this whole time? I turned myself to him one last time. -And we didn't have anything. No “history” at all, Lewis, for God's sake. We're childhood sweethearts that ended up nowhere.

I leave Lewis behind and return to the party even more nervous. It doesn't take long for the cocktail party to end and everyone starts to leave the area. I was already leaving the place when Paolo pulls me to the corner.

-Are you okay? What happened there? 

Paolo doesn't look nervous anymore, he looks at me with curiosity.

-I am. I'm sorry about that, I really don't know what happened to me. I already managed to apologize to him too. -Lie.

-Yes, I saw you talking out there. -Shit. I didn't need one more thing to worry about today -Do you guys know each other? 

-No. -I lie. - I've seen him before but we've never been introduced.

I wish like never before that Paolo had not heard our discussion, I don't know how I would explain to him everything that happened. But Paolo doesn't seem to have any doubts about my answer, and that calms me down. 

He nodded and was already walking away from me when I called him back.

-Paolo.- I didn't think I would have the audacity to ask him that. -Why didn't I participate in the meeting to decide on the new model? I should have participated, it's part of my job.

-Cause there was no meeting. He was the one who offered to be a model, and we just accepted. I didn't know that this could be a problem for you.

I freeze for a second before answering him. Why would Lewis do that? Of all the brands in the world and he offers fair sponsorship with Valentino. I can't help but think he already knew he'd find me here, and thinking about that makes my stomach churn.

-No. It's not. I was just curious.

I smile trying to hide my perplexity from Paolo. 

-Alright. See you on Monday then. 

I say goodbye to Paolo and head out of the hall. Still confused. Still unable to believe everything that just happened.

I get in the car and greet the driver. I thank heaven for the end of the night, I close my eyes and wait for the car to start moving, but instead what happens is the door next to me opens. I look at who it is and I can't believe who I find getting in the seat next to mine.

-No fucking way. -At this point, I'm not even trying to keep my composure anymore. 

-There are no more cars available and my hotel is close to your destination so they put us together. -Lewis slams the door and settles down next to me.

-No more cars available? In such a huge event like this? And you want me to believe that?

-I do. Because I'm telling the truth. I would call a taxi but we're in the middle of nowhere, it's two in the morning and I'm tired.

I'm too physically and emotionally exhausted to do anything, so I stay in my seat and hope the time passes quickly. Even before the car leaves I close my eyes and pretend I'm sleeping so I don't have to talk to him. But even with my eyes closed I can feel his gaze on me and it makes me mad with anger.

-Stop it. -I say with my eyes closed. 

-Stop with what? 

-Staring at me, stop it. 

-I just want to be able to talk to you and explain myself.

-Why? For what? -I don't want to open my eyes and have to deal with him. In that way, I can pretend this is all just a dream.

-Cause I know how much it hurts you, and it hurt me too. And I want to be able to explain myself and make you understand my side of it all. 

I opened my eyes finally facing the reality standing next to me.

-I think you're a little too late for that. -Lewis looked the most serious I had ever seen in my life, and with every word that came out of my mouth, his attention seemed redoubled. -You never came after me for anything. And after that last call, I stopped to exist in your life. And you just appeared now by an unfortunate coincidence of fate.

-Stop it, Angie. 

-Stop with what? -My voice is higher now. 

-Stop treating me like that. 

I laugh in an amused tone, even though I'm not amused at the moment.

-You treated me much worse than that. 

I could barely look at him anymore. Suddenly all those sensations from the beginning invaded me, everything that I thought was healed was shown to be even more harmed. I open the window in a frustrated attempt to breathe better inside that car.

-For someone who says we had nothing, you seem to be pretty upset. 

I glared at him when I heard those words. 

- Forget it, Lewis.

-No. Please. I want to listen to you, and I want you to listen to me. Let’s do this. But with a clear head. Let me take you to lunch tomorrow. 

-Forget about it. No. You lost your chance.

-Please. Please, that's all I ask of you. We're going to have to deal with each other for the next few weeks. Let's at least try to work it out and get out of this situation as friends. 

My laugh echoed through the car. 

-Friends?! Do you really think there's any chance of us being "friends" someday?

-Stop being defensive. -He's angry too. I can see it in his eyes. I don't know if he's angry at the situation or me. But I hope he's angry at himself.

-It was you who put me here. It was you who did this to me. 

His expression changed to concern. 

-I'm sorry.

-Listen Lewis. Here is the thing. Let's act like we really don't know each other. Let's deal with each other during these weeks and when it's finally over, we go live our lives like we were doing until today.

We get in silence for a couple of minutes, I thought the conversation was finally over, but it didn't take long for him to go back to talking.

-Just a lunch. And I promise I'll leave you alone. Just have lunch with me tomorrow so we can talk. -Lewis looks at me with a puppy face that I didn't know was capable on the face of a man in his 30s. -I'm a different person now. And so are you.

I sigh in defeat and finally give in to his request, I just want him to be quiet. 

-Okay. A lunch. And nothing more. 

-Perfect. Nothing more.

Suddenly he can't keep his smile to himself. Me on the other hand come back to close my eyes and wait for the end of the trip.

It doesn't take long for the driver to stop in front of the building where I live. I thank him and get out of the car. I hear the other door slam as well and I know that Lewis has come after me.

-This building looks great. -He says while pulling his hands in his pockets.

-It's not mine. My boyfriend lives here.

A huge lie, there is no boyfriend. After Lewis, I had only a few relationships that didn't pass from a one-night stand that didn't result in anything. The truth is that I never felt the way I was used to feel by his side. And when I learn that nobody could ever take his place in my life, I just gave up trying. But obviously, I won't admit this to him. And besides that, I wanted to see what would be his reaction to the false information.

-Oh. -He couldn't even hide it. It's ridiculous that he would even consider getting upset over something like that. We are complete strangers now. -I understood. 

I give him a forced smile. At least one point for me tonight.

-So. Anyway. At what time I can pass to pick you up tomorrow?

As soon as possible so that this ends soon.

-I don't know.

-Noon sounds good?

-Yes. Noon it's fine.

-Okay. Deal. See you tomorrow.

I saw him returning to the vehicle and watched him leaving the street. I take a deep breath, already regretting my decision.

❀

How to look stunning without seeming like you've spent hours trying? 

Not that I've spent hours trying. It's just that... Whatever.

It's past noon. I've always hated being late, but this time I confess it's kind of on purpose. There's no message on my phone because I didn't get to give him my number yesterday. We agreed it would just be a simple lunch, there's no reason for him to have any form of contact with me.

I should change this outfit, all this blue is not matching. But anyway it's ridiculous to put that much effort into it.

I grab my purse and look at myself in the mirror one last time.

 Blue will have to do.

I find Lewis leaning against his car at the entrance of the building. His casual outfit makes him even more attractive than he was yesterday. Now in the sunlight, I can see even more details, I notice the tattoos on his skin and how they only add to the fearless aura he's adopted over the last few years. As much as he looks completely changed, I still see that boy in front of me, so it's hard for me to believe in this whole new person he built.

-You look beautiful. 

-Thank you. -He didn't realize I spent too much time getting ready, did he? He's just being nice. -Sorry I'm late. 

-Don’t worry. Can we go? -Lewis opens the door of his car and waits for me to get in.

-Where are we going? Cause there's a restaurant around the corner that is amazi... 

-Actually. -He cuts me off mid-sentence, leaving me gesticulating in the air. -I already have everything planned. 

-Oh...Okay then.

I get in the car and wait for him. Allowing my ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in 9 years take me somewhere "surprise" is as scary as it sounds. 

We've been traveling the streets of London for some time now, the silence inside this car it's loud, not embarrassing, but it's like there's an elephant in the back seat that neither of us wants to talk about it.

-You still drive a manual. -I say, cutting the silence. 

Lewis laughs before answering me. The first laugh from him I've heard in person in 9 years, and it sounds exactly the same. That's his real smile, without any mask, I'm happy to see it's still there.

-Of course. If I don't shift gears, it doesn't even feel like I'm actually driving. 

-Apparently, that hasn't changed. 

-A lot of things stay exactly the same, Angie. -He looks at me, taking his attention off the road for a few seconds. I feel myself burning in my seat and try not to make eye contact with him for those few seconds.

-You seem calmer. -Lewis waited a while to talk to me again. Maybe he was waiting for an answer. 

-I had more time to try to understand the situation. 

-So? What conclusion did you come to? 

-That the universe hates me.

Lewis's smile faded and I immediately felt bad about it. As much as he hurt me, I don't want to be mean to him. What happened was a long time ago and I know better than anyone how time can change people, I do believe he is a completely different person than the one who did that to me. Anyway, I knew what was going to happen, I have no right to get mad and take it out on Lewis, not after nine years of all that shit. 

I don't apologize to him. But I promised myself that I would try to be pleasant.

Lewis took the highway and we were moving for a while, I wasn't paying attention to the road until we passed the London exit. 

-Lewis, why are we leaving London? Where are we going?

-Calm down. You will see it soon. Another 40 minutes and we get there. But you'll figure it out before that.

-You're not going to kill me and throw me on the side of the road, are you?

Lewis laughed before answering me.

-Naah. My time is too precious to spend that way. If that were the case, I would pay someone to do the job or something. -I giggled at him and slapped his arm lightly. -Relax. I think you'll like it.

I took the freedom to turn on the radio but regretted it as soon as I did. The melody of in my place by Coldplay started to play through the vehicle. I was washed over again by memories of years ago. My laugh from seconds before was replaced by sadness, I promised myself that I wouldn't think about what could have become of us anymore, but it's impossible when he's right next to me, humming a song that we used to listen to and sing together all the time.

Calm down. It's just lunch. In a few hours, this comes to an end. 

I started to get anxious when I realized which way Lewis was going. Suddenly the highways began to feel more familiar. I was already out of breath, and when we passed the sign that indicated the arrival in the city, I was restless.

-Lewis, why did you bring me here? -I had difficulty speaking, and my voice came out in a whisper. 

-I thought it would be a good idea. Remember the old times. 

There was joy in his voice as if being back at Stevenage by my side didn't bring him all the suffering it brings me.

I look outside and try to focus on the streets of Stevenage, it's been so long since the last time. I don't come here too often cause everything in this town reminds me of Lewis and our moments together. If I want to see my parents, 

I always end up sending tickets for them to come to visit me. 

We passed my old neighborhood, then his. I don't know where exactly he's taking me, but it's already clear that he wants to go through all of "our" places before talking to me. It didn't take long before Lewis parks the car, and only then I do realize where we are.

-Is this place still up? -It's the first thing I've said since we entered the city. 

-Of course. Tony's is the best place in town. -We used to come here all the time. Lewis would pick me up at the school exit and drive me here religiously every week, sometimes more than once. -We used to come all the time, remember?

I nodded without looking at him. How could I forget? We spent our best moments here, eating cheese pizza and reading old copies of the Rolling Stones magazine that Tony kept in the back of the little diner.

Lewis gets out of the car but I stay there a little longer, trying to prepare myself for God knows what's going to happen next. I'm taken out of my thoughts with Lewis opening the passenger door, my stare that until then was fixed on the facade of the place goes to him, who is bent towards me, holding out his hand and waiting for me to get out of the car. I take his hand and I don't know how, but I manage to keep myself firmly on the ground as I get out of the vehicle.

I cut off our contact as soon as I exit the vehicle. Lewis gesticulates for me to go ahead of him, which I do. I take slow steps until I reach the diner entrance door.

I can't remember the exact moment I realized over 10 years ago that I was in love with Lewis. But I remember all the times I looked at him and got butterflies in my stomach, I remember all the times I thought "this can't be" when it came to my feelings for him. And a lot of those moments were here, after class, sitting next to him watching him talk about some weird band he was into at the time. Him bringing me here, after all this time, is such a low blow. Very low blow.

I knew accepting this lunch wouldn't be a good idea, I know I won't be strong enough to say no if Lewis decides he wants to be part of my life again in any way. Not here, not at Tony's.

I walk into the restaurant and it's like I've gone back in time, I know this place has become traditional here in Stevenage, but keeping everything exactly the same that way is bizarre. Even the colors are the same. The beige walls that were out of fashion 13 years ago are still intact.

Lewis comes right behind me and I can see how that took him by surprise too. 

-They didn't even change that stool that sticks the ass of everyone who sits on it. - He whispered close to my ear. 

The sound of my loud laughter echoed throughout the place. There was hardly anyone there, but I ended up drawing unnecessary attention thanks to Lewis's joke. But he didn't look angry, on the opposite, he started laughing with me.

We went up to the counter and saw Tony coming out of the back of the store. Tony is one of the few things here that have changed. When we used to come here, he was a middle-aged guy, too skinny, and he had a huge mustache that covered his mouth. He's much older now, with a protruding belly and gray hair, but the mustache is still there. Tony came over to us with a frown.

-Good afternoon. Are you guys ready to order? -His features immediately changed as soon as he laid his eyes on us. -My God. Angie?! 

-Hi Tony. - I feel shy about his reaction. 

-And this boy. No. It can not be. Lewis? Is that you son? 

-Yes sir. In flesh and blood.

Lewis came out from behind me and walked over to the old man, giving him a handshake.

-Oh, it's great to see you two. It seems like it was only yesterday that you came here almost every day to test my patience. So does that mean you guys are still together? How life is. When is it supposed to be...

-No Tony. - I interrupted him. If he keeps saying these things I'm going to freak out. -Actually, we met again yesterday after a long time. And for some reason, Lewis thought it would be a good idea to bring me here today.

Tony turned red, probably embarrassed by this situation. But definitely not as embarrassed as I am right now. Both Tony and Lewis stare at me without knowing what to say. 

-So. Can we order now? - I asked trying to get their attention back.

-Yes of course. -Lewis says while going back to where he was before going to the other side of the counter to greet Tony. 

-Let's see. Two large slices? What flavor?

-Cheese. Obviously. -I said smiling are the man. Lewis nodded behind me.

-Okay. Your table is free, you can go there. I'll bring the food in a minute. 

-Thanks, Tony. -We say in unison and walk to "our table", which is right in the corner of the restaurant, near the large glass window.

Anxiety comes back to me as soon as I sit down and face Lewis. Lewis sat in the back while I sat in the front seat. We decided on these places when we were 14 years old, and after all this time we're still loyal to them. It's impossible to look at Lewis now and not see that boy that I fell in love with, with the addition of braids and tattoos, but still, it's Lew.

Lewis picks up the menu on the table and starts flipping through it, he looks relaxed, the complete opposite of me right now. 

-What are you doing? -Lewis takes his gaze off the menu and directs it at me. 

-Choosing something to drink. 

-No. What are you doing? Why did you bring me here, Lewis?

My voice doesn't come out as calm as I'd like, I don't think even if I tried hard I could sound less nervous than I am. My hands are clenched so tightly together that I'm already cramping. 

-I told you why.

-No. You gave me a half-baked explanation that I didn't believe for a second. -Lewis lowers the menu and starts paying full attention to me. And I don't know if that's better or worse. -It's not like I'm an old friend that you lost contact with. We ended things, and it wasn't even in a friendly way. I'm just trying to understand what the hell you're doing.

-Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring you here. 

His voice is lower than normal. 

-Maybe not. But here we are. 

Lewis no longer looks at me. His stare is now at my hands. I take a deep breath before asking the question.

-Lewis. - He turns his gaze back to me. -Why did you come back? 

I can feel my eyes burning, I can't let myself cry, but here in this place, and with him, I want to burst into tears.

-Because I realized I should have never left.

I look at him in disbelief, I can feel my vision beginning to blur because of the insistent tears, but I soon wipe my eyes, not letting him see for one more second the effect he is having on me.

-Here it is kids, Two large slices of cheese.

I didn't even notice Tony coming towards us. I don't look at him while he serves us. I look at Lewis, trying to digest what I'd just heard, trying not to freak out right here, and ended up walking back to London. Lewis thanks Tony and then turns his eye to me. He looks just as scared as I am, as if he's shocked by his own spoken words. I'm static, a million thoughts run through my mind, I need a few seconds to try to put everything in order and answer Lewis.

-Do you realize how mean this is to me? 

I lean back in my chair, pulling myself distant from him, unconsciously trying to feel safer.

-It's just the truth.

He also looks perplexed, his eyes sparkle but there is also a lot of sadness in the black orbs staring at me. 

-I don't want that, that truth doesn't interest me anymore, Lewis. Do you have any idea how I was? The state that you left me in after all?

The memories I try to forget come back in maximum intensity, and this time I can no longer hide the tears. Fortunately, I know that there's barely anyone around, but even if there were hundreds of people in this room, I wouldn't be able to tell.

-I never stopped thinking about you, never. I was placed in a completely new environment, with new people, with the life I had always dreamed of. And I talked about you all the time to everyone. But you told me yourself that it wasn't going to work, and I suddenly started to believe it. I started to believe it because it seemed like a completely different world from the one I lived by your side. And I wasn't sure if you would fit into this new life.

He's fussing, putting words on top of words, gesticulating as if his life depended on it. He took a few seconds but then returned to explain himself.

-And I made the wrong decision. I know, I act like an asshole. I was with someone else and I knew the pictures were going to leak. I did it because I didn't want to make the decision, so I put it in your hands, and you made it for me. And it was a ridiculous and childish attitude, I know. I see this now. And I hated myself for years because of that. But it was the only way I found at the time. -I can see the tears in his eyes and I get a little surprised after I realize that. -And again, I'm sorry about that, Angie. I apologize to you, and I apologize for us and our past. What I did wasn't right.

He stopped, he had to, his voice was getting louder, that way everyone would hear. I remain in the same position, motionless, but now with my arms crossed and my face wet with tears. It's not over, I know that now comes the other part, the resentment part, the part that's gonna kill me.

-But you didn't try it either. -Now his voice is much lower. -You were the first person to try to leave, you said it wouldn't work even before you left my room that night. You looked into my eyes and told me it wasn't going to work. And that was the image that haunted me during those months.

His hands go up from the table to his eyes, wiping away the tears that have started to fall. He looks around for a second before leaning across the table towards me.

-I'm here now and I brought you here because I want you to forgive me. I want to be able to start over with you, because I'm done torturing myself with this. And I want to resolve things with you. I want to listen to you, because I need to listen to you, I need to know how you're doing. I want to die every time I think that everything we've had has come to nothing, I don't want it to be like this. I don't want it all to be in vain.

With tears in his eyes, Lewis smiles at me before continuing.

-I think every day about how our conversations would be, and how you would tell me every little thing that happened in your day. I want to know everything about you. I feel like I'm facing a woman who was the love of my life and who is now a complete stranger, and it hurts so much. I suffered too, Angie. So please forgive me. I don't want to live with these thoughts anymore, I want to make it happen. But if you tell me no, if you don't want to forgive me, I'll understand, and I'll be able to put an end to it no matter how much I don't want to. I just need something, anything from you. I can't accept this torturing me anymore. So you can send me to hell if you want. But if you feel, even in a tiny part of you, that you can forgive me, then please forgive me.

I stare at the table and the two untouched slices of pizza are blurred because of my tears. I don't know if I can look at him. I don't know if I can formulate a sentence right now. I want to get up from here, I want to hug him and then ask for his forgiveness. But I don't do anything, I'm frozen in my place, and I only move to breathe so I can cry more.

I don't know how long we remain in silence before I started to speak. 

-I want to be able to forgive you. And I'm sorry about all of that. But what do I do with the old Angie that is screaming inside of me begging me to run from here and from you?!

I lean across the table and take the same position as Lewis.

-I went through a lot, and the beginning was so hard that I thought that I wouldn't be able to get over it. I was having the worst time of my life because of you while you were exhibiting her off in the paddock. I want to forgive you, and I believe you’ve changed. But I don't know if I would be strong enough to see it with my own eyes.

-Let me show you that I'm worthy of a second chance. Let's start over as if we just met. Just give me a few weeks like this, and if after that you decided that you don’t want to look at me anymore then we never have to talk to each other again.

I can see the suffering on his face. I can see his transformation in every speech and gesture. And all of this only manages to make me even more confused. 

-I need a minute.

I leave the table and walk outside the diner. I don't look at him while getting off the place. When I reach the open area I take a deep breath. As if until now I had been underwater and had finally managed to reach the surface.

I control my emotions and manage to stop crying, the lump in my throat feels a little smaller now. I needed to listen to him, needed his explanation. I spent all those years believing that everything we had was not reciprocated. I felt like an idiot this whole time. Hearing those words from him made all difference in my way of seeing our situation.

I'm glad I accepted this date.

 I don't know how long I spent out here. I only get out of my thoughts when I hear Lewis calling me. 

-Are you okay?

I nod as I watch Lewis coming out of the diner door and walk towards me. He sits next to me on the curb right after. He also looks composed. The street is empty, and apart from his Mercedes, there are no cars around. I look straight ahead, while he's staring at me.

-Valentino didn't invite you to be a model. You volunteered. -It's not a question. I say without looking at him. 

-That's true.

He doesn't seem shocked to hear that I know about it.

-Why? 

-I knew you were there. And I knew this would be the only way to get close to you without you running away from me. I like Valentino. But there was a greater force.

I pull my gaze away from the road and look at him. There must be confusion on my face because it doesn't take long for Lewis to explain himself.

-Not that I'm a stalker or anything like that. -He chuckles. -But since I found out that you worked there, I haven't gotten you out of my mind. And those memories got even stronger. I didn't rest until I called Paolo and offered myself as a model.

-Why now? I understand you spent all this time thinking about it. But why just now? -My voice is low. I feel shy after his confession.

-Cause If I had come earlier, you wouldn't have accepted me. You needed your time to heal as I needed mine. And if I came before, would you listen to me? Would you come here with me? You would run away, I'm sure of it. Because Whether you like it or not, I know you very well.

-So it was all a plan? 

I play with a piece of dry twig I found on the ground so I don't have to look at him.

-No. Many things happened by fate. But since the moment I hung up the phone that day 9 years ago, I've been thinking about how to get you back.

I know what I'm going to end up doing the moment I hear the words coming out of his mouth, I have to do this not just for myself but for both of us. I would be supposing what would become of us for the rest of my life if I said no. I need to know if this is going to work out or not. I deserve it, and so does he.

-As if we had just met? - I look at him to wait for the answer. I see his face lighting up before my eyes, and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach.

-Yes. As if we just met. 

His smile makes me smile too. I nod to him, accepting his request. Lewis extends his hand to me in a greeting form. 

-Nice to meet you. I'm Lewis Hamilton. 

I laugh at his performance but soon join in the fun and shake his hand. 

-Nice to meet you, Lewis. My name is Angie Woods.

❀

I get up from the chair I've been sitting in for hours and go to my bag so I can pack my stuff.

Paolo and the rest of our team say goodbye to me and then leave the meeting room. I make my way to my office and run to finish some paperwork before calling it a day. The pre-season is consuming me all over. I've barely had time to do anything else that wasn't work related in the last week. I saw Lewis a few times at the company doing some photoshoots, but we haven't had time to talk in person since our date because of all the work that surrounds us.

But the text messages haven't stopped coming since that day. It ranges from a simple good morning to complex conversations about our life. I was able to try to understand him more during these conversations, and I am happy with the new person he has shown himself to be. He manages to put together the same essence as before, with all the learning from now, and all of this ends up forming a wonderful person.

I'm not putting expectations related to what I feel for him. I promised myself I would let it happen, and that's what I'm doing. He's given me the space he promised to so I could get used to this new idea, and that's what counts.

I was startled when I hear the office door being opened, it’s past eleven at night, and I didn't think there would be anyone else in the building. I turn quickly to the door and find Lewis staring at me, halfway into the room.

-Jesus! You almost scared me to death. - I put my hand on my chest as a way to calm myself down. - You don't knock anymore? 

-Sorry. - He laughs at my despair. -I wasn't sure if you were still here.

-Still here. This pre-season is killing me. But at least it's almost over. 

Lewis was still staring at me in the same position. 

-I wanted to talk to you. 

-Sure. Come in.

Lewis finally enters the room and closes the door. He comes calmly towards me, getting very close. Way too close. I'm leaning against my desk and observing him intently. He looks gorgeous. The casual outfit only makes him even more beautiful, as if that were possible. But I soon realize that something is bothering him.

He takes a deep breath to start talking but stops before emitting any word. His stare goes to my chest and lingers there for a few seconds. I see his features go from confusion to happiness in seconds. His hand goes to my chest, so he carefully takes the pendant from my necklace. The same necklace he gave me the year we met. I feel my cheeks burn with shyness.

-You still have it. 

We are so close that even though his voice comes out in a whisper, I can hear it perfectly. 

-I swore I'd never take it off, and I never did. It's been with me ever since. - My voice comes out in the same intonation as his.

Lewis drops the pendant but doesn't move an inch away from me. I'm starting to get used to and enjoy his proximity. His gaze moves from my necklace to my eyes, and I can see genuine happiness in his features.

-You really are the same Angie as always, aren't you?! -I don't quite understand what he means by that, so I don't answer his question. -Since always with the same passion for everything, even if it hurts you sometimes.

-I believe in benevolence. 

-I know, and that's one of my favorite things in you. 

His smile suddenly fades, and then he starts talking again.

-I will be back to racing in two weeks. I finished all work with Valentino today. I must go back to Monaco in a few days.

-Oh. Got it.

Lewis comes even closer, I'm already in amazement at his figure so close to me after all this time. His scent makes me dizzy and I can feel his breath on my face. I should walk away, all this closeness is getting dangerous, but I don't want to move at all now.

-I won't stay away for too long. -His hand goes to my hair that was resting on my shoulder and throws it back in a slight movement. -I'll be back in the second week of September. You will be here, right? And I will be able to see you. 

-Of course.

At this point, I'm not even paying attention to what comes out of my mouth. All my focus is on him and his movements.

-Great. -His hand comes to my face very carefully, I feel a shock the moment his skin touches mine, ah that touch, how I thought of it, sometimes I swore I could feel it. I close my eyes for a second to enjoy the feel of his warm touch on my skin.

That Lewis, with all this seduction, self-assured, is a new personality that I am appreciating very much. My head tilts to the side a little, to get more of his touch.

God, how needy I am. 

Lewis comes up to my exposed ear and whispers to me.

-I want to give something to you, A recent memory of the two of us. 

-What kind of memory? 

My eyes open, and I find a look of lust in front of me. I feel his hand moving from my cheek to the back of my neck.

I can't let this happen. That will end with my critical sense, I know that. But this trance is so good, I don't want to be over. 

His hand lands there and pulls me a little closer to him, he moves even closer to my body, placing himself between my legs. I put my hands on his arms, as a way of preparing myself to push him away, or as a way of feeling more parts of him.

-Lewis, we can't. 

My head resting on his hand, my hands holding his arms, his legs in the middle of my body, and every inch of my body screaming for him, it's clear as day how much I want this, and he can see it. Satisfaction is printed on his face. 

Who am I kidding?

-How can we not if you're calling for me right now? 

I don't know who takes the first step, but soon we connect in a kiss full of hunger and longing, the kiss is fast as if we were trying to make up for all the lost time.

He's even better at it, his hands roaming strategic places to drive me crazy. I don't think about what we're doing, I don't think about the possibility of someone coming in and seeing this scene, I just think about him, and how he got better, about his heavy body pressing against mine, and how this is going to drive me completely crazy.

I sit down at the large wooden table, and his hands roam my body as if he wants to memorize every little thing that has changed in me. The hand on the back of my neck pulls my hair back, putting my neck in evidence, Lewis grabs it and distributes kisses and hickeys that I know will leave marks, but I don't care at all about that.

I take my hand to his pants on his lump. Lewis groans and then goes to the hem of my shirt, taking it off soon after. 

-You have no idea how much I've waited for this. I spent all this time thinking of you, missing your taste, crazy waiting for this. -He says to me with a voice more rough than usual, his excitation implicit in every word spoken.

-Show me, Lew. Show me how much you missed me.

Lewis gets rid of my pants quickly after that, and shortly after I manage to help him take his underwear off. There's desperation in our movements, we want to connect like we've been waiting our whole lives for this, and the feeling is like something that. 

I'm already soaked from the moment he walked into this room, so there's no difficulty for him to get inside me. We'd like to linger for hours in kisses and foreplay, but the need to feel each other is so immense that there's no room for anything else.

Lewis put himself inside me without hesitation, and our moans echoed throughout the room. He holds me and stares at me as I get used to his size. He seems even bigger than the last time, and the feeling borders on pain, but it is an immense pleasure that completes me, in every sense of the word.

-God. That pussy is so good. So tight for me.

Our eyes are connected from the beginning. The feel of his body on mine and his words make my body shiver. The lunges start at a diligent pace and our moans are released without any attempt to hold them back. Not caring about anything other than the two of us right now. Lewis picks me up and carries me to the small leather sofa in my office, I get on all fours and wait for him again.

-You look so beautiful like that. So beautiful to me. Ready to get this dick. -His words are followed by a slap on my ass. A loud moan escapes my lips along with the sound of his hand smacking me. 

-Then come and fuck me the way only you know how to do it.

A grunt comes out of his mouth and he quickly positions himself on me again. The feeling is even more pleasurable. Lewis gives a few lunges and then pulls me close to his chest, his hand goes to my clit and stimulates me even more. My mouth is close to his, and our moans come out as one.

-I missed this so much. -He whispers in my ear. I can barely ratiocinate anymore, but I smile at his confession. 

-Oh, I'm so close. 

-Come. Come to me, my love. Come in this dick that is yours.

After that, I can't hold it in much longer, and the strong wave of orgasm hits me. Lewis connects his mouth to mine to quiet down the moaning sound since we're not even sure we're alone here.

My tremors made it clear that I couldn't take any more stimulation. I can't remember the last time I had an orgasm so fast and that powerful, it's like my body was waiting for him, and when I finally had it, I exploded with excitation.

Lewis gets out of me and sits on the couch. It doesn't take me a second to lower myself between his legs to finish what we started. His head falls back the moment I put my mouth on him. I take him where I can and with the help of my hands I stimulate his base, he's big and I end up choking a little. My saliva mixed with his pre-cum and my lubrication that's still in him.

-Oh how I love your mouth, my dear. -His voice comes out in an exacerbated exhale.

I could do this for hours, kneeling in front of him and feeling his cock fucking my mouth is like heaven. I play with my tongue on his glans before taking him back to the back of my throat, he moans loudly and takes his hands to my hair, starting to guide me in the movements. He squeezes my strands and starts to twitch and I know he's getting close.

-Angie, I'm gonna come. -I keep my mouth on him, and then I feel his jet going down my throat. -Yes. Swallow it all like the good girl you are. -He says between moans. It's so dirty and so good. And is with him.

Lewis pulls me up when he's finished and kisses me, we put our clothes on soon after, only then do we realize the risk we're taking with all of this, I feel ashamed and afraid that someone is still in the building and heard us, in this case, the dismissal would be least of my problems, but after what just happened I can say it would be worth it.

After getting dressed, we returned to the sofa to catch our breath. Lewis tucks me against his chest, and I remember how we loved staying like that all the time. Having that back for even a little time is incredible. I didn't think I would ever have that feeling back in my life.

-I didn't know you were the cheating type. -He says after a few minutes. 

His comment confused me for the first few seconds, but then I remembered the fake boyfriend I made up.

-Great. Cause I'm not. -I feel ashamed even though I don't have a boyfriend, ashamed for making him think that I would be capable of doing something like that. 

-What about your boyfriend? 

-He’s not real.

I put myself away from his lap and look at him. Lewis laughs as he stares at me. 

-Why did you lie about that? -His tone of voice is playful.

-I wanted to see the effect it would have on you. It was something of the moment. I just decided to say it, even though it was a lie. 

I was honest with him. He looks at me intently but doesn't seem angry. He pulls me back to him, and we seal our lips. We kiss for a long time, and still, the feeling is that it will never be enough.

-We need to go. - I say in the middle of the kiss. He moans sadly. 

-I don't want this to end. -His lips are still touching mine as he says this. -Come and spend these days with me.

I pull myself away a bit and look at him. 

-I don't know Lew. I still have a few things to conclude, and I don't think this would be a good idea.

-C’mon. We can just hang out, we do good for each other, Angie. I know you can see that. And no matter what happened, we ended up here anyway. -He connects our lips quickly once again. -Let's surrender to this

As if we weren't already surrendered to each other right now. 

I nod to him. 

-Okay.

❀

I feel the weight of his body on top of mine. I smile before I even open my eyes. His kisses start at the back of my neck and work their way down to my bare back.

-Good morning. -He returns to my ear and whispers to me with the voice of someone who has just woken up. 

I turn to him and open my eyes.

-Good morning. -The sight of Lewis, lying on my bed, with his unclothed torso full of tattoos and his face yet with traces of sleep makes me feel butterflies in my stomach.

I bring my hand to the lion drawn on his skin and trace it with my fingertips. My smile fades as I remember what day it is. The day he returns to Monaco. 

The days that we spent together were more than perfect. I managed to finish my work before the deadline so we spent all the time together, sometimes in his hotel room, sometimes at my house, but always together somewhere, alone, and in a bed.

We talked about how we're going to do it after our schedules get full again because of work. We didn't put a label or expectations in our relationship, we don't want to make the same mistake as the first time. So we decided that we'll let ourselves go with the flow. Today traveling is much easier, and we do it more frequently. We're going to see each other when we can, and meanwhile continue living our lives, with our goals and objectives in priority, as it should be, and as it always was been.

He takes my hand from his chest and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss on my fingers.

-What time is your flight?

-At five. -Still, with my hand in contact with his, he interlaces our fingers together. 

-You have to go pack your things, don't you? - The disappointment in my voice is evident.

-Uhmm. -He sounds as sad as I do.

-I didn't even see the days go by. 

-It's because we were too busy. - I accompany Lewis in a laugh. -You could come with me.

-You know I can't. Fashion week will start soon, these days were a little break before the marathon to come.

-Okay. I understand. -He smiles at me. -It's great to see you conquering what you've always dreamed about.

I can't see myself, but I know my eyes light up when I hear his words. I'm relieved that Lewis understands and takes my dream as seriously as his own.

-Thanks. - My smile is sincere. At that moment, I'm completely exposed to him, showing how I've waited for this, even if deep down, how I've always been with him despite all the distance. I can't say that I have no doubts about any kind of relationship with him, but I can say that I'm happy to have received him back into my life. I feel at home in his arms like never before, and that hasn't changed even after all this time.

-You wait for me? -His hand tightens on mine as he utters the question. -I can come back in two weeks, just for a few days but at least we'll be able to see each other for a little while. If you want. 

- I'll wait for you, Lew.

My voice cracks, and he notices. All of this feels like deja vu. I can feel part of my pride going down my throat. I don't want to feel that way, I know I gave him an opportunity I really wanted, and I don't regret it for a second. But I'm afraid of happening again. I don't know if I could go through all that again. 

-I won't let it happen again. -It's like he read my mind. -I'll come back and get you. 

❀

And he came back, after two weeks, as agreed. He came back and brought with him a bouquet of peonies and all the love in the world. It was only for a few days but the goodbye was different from the last time, this time there was no hesitation or fear, just the certainty that we would see each other again, and again, and again.

When he couldn't come to me, I went to him. We learned to deal with the distance and enjoy every day we had together. I got to know his coworkers and his life as a driver, I remembered all the times we spent in karting garages, but there's almost no comparison. Formula 1 is another level.

I celebrated each victory as if it were the first, just like he celebrated with me when I managed to open my studio and left Valentino. As time went by, living with him only made me more confident that I made the right decision, it didn't take long for any doubt to be solved. And suddenly everything was perfect again. As if we were still those two 13-year-olds. As if nothing had ever gone wrong.

I became the happiest person in the world by his side, and with each passing day, it becomes clearer that it was meant to be. It was supposed to be the two of us. 

For a lifetime.

November 15, 2020. 2:52pm – Istanbul, Turkey

Tears rolled from my eyes. I've never felt so euphoric, so happy, and so proud in my life. He did it, he did it again, for the seventh time. I'm almost shaking with so much euphoria.

Angela walks over to me and hugs me. The whole garage erupts in celebration. Everyone's emotion is as if it was the first. 

That will never get boring.

I hear his cry and his words as he crosses the finish line, and I cry even more. I watch him get out of the car, go to the podium and celebrate his masterpiece, I watch closely, with my eyes full of tears and with a pride that does not fit in my chest, after everything I have seen in person, after all the struggles I've seen them go through, after all the times I've watched him racing on TV and swore it would be the last time, but I just couldn't stop rooting for him.

I never stopped believing, not even for a second. Witnessing him get there, and achieve this feat, makes me the happiest woman in the world. 

His eyes find me in the crowd and shine even brighter, he proudly shows me the trophy as if I haven't noticed it in his hands yet. I just want him, here with me, but for now, I watch him enjoying his victory. Today's celebrations begin with a champagne shower on the podium.

00:46 

We entered the room laughing. Our eyes are still teary with emotion. The noise of all the celebrations still echoes in my head. Finally alone. I stop the moment I close the door, and look at him, who is in the middle of the room, hands on his head, still in disbelief. Our eyes connect, and we start laughing together. At this moment it seems that finally, the penny dropped for both of us. I never felt like this, it seems like this time was different, like he finally proved to himself that he made it.

He runs to me and hugs me tight. Even sticky with champagne, I can't imagine a better contact. We stayed there, stuck together, for minutes. I feel Lewis crying into my neck, he's not the type of guy to show his emotions, but in the face of it all, it's impossible not to get emotional. I hug him back even stronger, and the tears of joy come back to my eyes.

-You did it! I knew you'd make it. - I said.

Lewis then pulls away from our embrace, but he still has his arms around me, his teary eyes shining brighter than ever.

-We did it. -His euphoria is almost palpable. -You stayed, supported me all this time, and never let me stop. You understood all the moments when I couldn't be present. My God, I love you so much Angie, so fucking much. 

I wipe the tears from his face with the palm of my hand.

-I love you. And it couldn’t be different. I've been here since the beginning, and I'll be here until the end, here by your side, no matter what. Seeing you achieve everything you ever wanted makes me beyond happy, Lewis. 

-But I still don't have everything I want.

Confusion shows on my face. Lewis walks away from me, going to his suitcase, which is thrown in the corner of the room. He picks something up but I can't see what it is at first.

-I've been carrying this around with me for the last few weeks, waiting for the perfect moment, and I think this is it.

He sounds nervous and a little shy. My heart bumps when I realize that what he's carrying is a small Tiffany box.

-Lewis... -My voice comes out tearful. I can no longer contain the tears at this point. It can't be that. We never talked about it, even though he knows that this is one of my biggest dreams.

Lewis calmly walks towards me, I can barely stand still, my heartbeat must be over 150 bpm. I watch him getting on one knee and taking my left hand. I realize what’s happening, he's going to do it, he's really going to do it right now, covered in champagne and more euphoric than ever.

-I promised you that I would make you my wife years ago in a hotel room in Monza, remember? -I consent. In my mind, it's like a few days have passed since that moment. -I love you more than anything. I want to be able to give you the whole world and even then it still wouldn't be enough. I love you for who you are, for all your kindness and empathy, I love you for your perseverance and hope in everything and everyone, I even love you for your stubbornness because that's what moved me sometimes. Angie, I can't imagine myself without you by my side, I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with you, I want you to be the mother of my children, and I want to be able to take care of you until the end. -My sobs are already audible and I can see how hard he is trying not to cry. -You would make me the happiest man in the world by calling me your husband. Will you marry me?

I kneel in front of him, getting the same height as him, I look at the box that is now open and come face to face with an oval diamond ring, big and shiny enough to catch anyone's attention. Lewis looks at me expectantly. I put my hands on his face and kiss him as I've never done it before, Lewis's hand which isn't holding the box wraps around my waist.

-Yes! Of course. -my voice comes out tearful. -It's all I want. 

Lewis pulls away from me, takes my hand again, and carefully places the ring on my ring finger. He takes my hand to his lips and places a kiss. 

I feel like all my life and phases have brought me here, at this moment. I remember all the moments in our lives together and apart that made it clear to me that he is my soulmate, and there is nothing anyone can do when fate is sealed.

-I can't wait to spend the rest of my life by your side.

Final note

Thank you to those who read this far :). I'm happy with the story even though I wanted to add more details to it, but because it is a one-shot divided into two parts, I ended up incapable to give all the profundity I would like, so you might find it too rushed. But I'm still super happy with the result and I hope you enjoyed it too. I'm completely in love with these two so I might end up writing more about them soon. <3

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton fluff #formula 1 fanfic #formula one fanfiction #formula one #lh44 #smut fanfiction #au fanfiction #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #mercedes amg f1 #Spotify

[filthy-vigilante]

Since the fact that the current bat family ages makes no sense and absolutely infuriates me, here are my headcanon ages

For Bruce a lot of sources have him becoming Batman at 25, that part makes sense but that would mean, on my personal timeline, he would be 44 now and that just seems kind of old to me to still be a vigilante. So I headcanon him as becoming Batman at 22 and adopting Dick at 23. This puts him at 28, for Damian's birth, with Dick being around 17/18 and off with the titans and probably college. It also puts him at 32 for Jason's death. Currently, he's 41

Tl;dr Bruce became Batman at 22, adopted Dick at 23, conceived Damian at 28, and is currently 41

Pre-reboot established that Barbara was a couple years older than Dick, also that she became Batgirl around the time she was starting college. She graduated high school early at 16 meaning she was about 17/18 when she became batgirl. Dick would be around 15 at this time. I've seen some sources say that the events of The Killing Joke (and Death of the Family, which happens a few months after) took place when she was late 20s. This doesn't quite work with the Robins timeline as she was only Batgirl during Dick and Jason's time as Robin. 23/24 makes more sense on the greater timeline. Currently she is 33.

Tl;dr Barbara became Batgirl at 17/18, got shot at 24 and became Oracle shortly after. Currently 33.

Several different sources give different ages for how old Dick was when his parents died, ranging from 8 to 15. We do know that Tim was 3 when he saw Dick's parents die at the circus, so if Dick was 8, the timeline wouldn't be big enough for his and Jason's career as Robin before Tim at 13 takes up the mantel. 12 seems like the most reasonable age for Dick to be for the timeline. This puts him at 18/19 when he goes off to college, quitting the Robin mantle and taking up Nightwing. At 28 he takes up the mantle of Batman with Damian, age 11 as his Robin. He is currently 30.

Tl;dr Dick gets adopted by Bruce at 12, becomes Nightwing at 19 and is currently 30.

Jason's timeline is fairly straightforward. We know he died at 15 and was only Robin for about 2 years. So it makes sense for him to have been picked up by Bruce at 12 and trained for 6ish months and debuted as Robin by the time he's 13. Post death timeline is a little more shaky. He came back to life a few months after his death and wandered the streets for about a year. Talia found him and tried to help him recover, with little results. After about a year or so of that Ra's wants to send Jason away so Talia throws him in the pit. He's around 18/19 at this point. He does travel, training like Bruce did but I don't think it was for nearly as long and he makes his return to Gotham at 20/21. He's currently 24.

Tl;dr Jason became homeless at 10, adopted at 12 and debuted as Robin at 13. Died at 15 and returned to Gotham at 20. Currently 24

Cassandra Cain is slightly older than Jason, by a few months. We know this as she was stated to be 18 in a batgirl issue released in 2004, and a few months later in another comic run Bruce and her visit Jason’s grave and he tells her that it would be Jason’s 18th birthday. With comic timelines this could mean she is anywhere between 1y3m or just 3m older than Jason. Unfortunately I am not too well versed in cass’ history to make a chronological breakdown of her life events. 

 Tl;dr Cass is approximately a year older than Jason. Currently 24

Now that we are further down in the list the ages are a lot clearer. DC was a lot more willing to give specific ages to characters during the era. So we know that Stephanie Brown is firmly 15 when she becomes Spoiler because she states it. We know that she is still 15 when she is pregnant. After this her timeline has no exact age assigned to it except her death. Stephanie died at 16. This was of course later retconned out and she is discovered alive at 17/18ish and shortly after starts her freshman year of college at either 18 or 19. This is also when she becomes Batgirl. 

Tl;dr Stephanie is approximately a year older than Tim and became spoiler at 15. Currently 22

Tim Drake’s ages are fairly clear. He became Robin at 13 approximately 6 months after Jason’s death. He’s a year younger than Stephanie. He takes up the red robin mantle around 17/18

Tl;dr Tim is a year younger than stephanie. He became robin at 13 and is Currently 21

Duke of course is still a relatively new character for DC and one they don’t utilize quite as much as others. They have mentioned his age multiple times in the past several years but is always 16. I do find this hard to let be, as I believe he was also stated to be 16 during the Robin War/We are Robin…. Personally, just to give the guy some range and growth for his age, i do headcanon him as 15 during robin war, where he became a more recurring character in DC and probably about 13 when he is initially introduced. Currently he should be around 17.

Tl;dr DC hates Duke and refuses to think about his age. He was 15 during the Robin War arc, and is currently 17

Damian is another one that is too straight forward as DC is spoon feeding us every next birthday of his. He was 10 when introduced and shortly thereafter became Robin. Most sources state that he also died at 10 but I don’t find the timeline big enough for that so I am going to place him at 11 for that . He was only dead for a couple of months before being resurrected, which would be around 11/12. I believe he just turned 14.

Tl;dr Damian was 10 when introduced and became Robin, Died and resurrected at 11 and is currently 14

TL;DR

Bruce 41

Barbara 32 

Dick 30

Cassandra 24

Jason 24

Stephanie 22

Tim 21

Duke 17

Damian 14

#batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #barbara gordon #jason todd #cassandra cain #tim drake #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #mp #meta

[another-bts-blog]

I just want to say how impressed I am with the way Face works as a complete story. Jimin said it was a chronological depiction of his feelings during the pandemic, but I didn’t expect that to be so ACCURATE. It really told the full scope, back to back, and I’m still reeling from it.

We start off with Face-off and it’s anger personified, it has a reactive, volatile energy. It’s harsh and hard-hitting and aggressive and at the core it’s just Jimin so so so hurt. 

We move into this tranquil, but haunting interlude with the sounds of running/panicking, the last concert all the boys had together, shuffling around as you come home from a long day, and ending with a drink to numb it all. It just feels like getting lost in a trance and trying to cover up all the mixing emotions, bury them away and ignore them but they’re all fighting for dominance in your head. 

Then we lead into Like Crazy, which is in every single way the embodiment of a dream. This fantasy that he doesn’t want to end, saying he wants to stay in the light, feels better in the light, begging to not be saved, to not be woken up. It starts with that line from the movie, saying “I’m afraid of everything disappearing” and it’s so clear that’s the core of this song. Jimin said in an interview his dream is BTS, that he wants to keep that going as long as he can. I don’t think it’s a reach to say this song is about wanting to be on stage, be in the light, be performing, and being afraid of it all going away. 

Alone starts with an alarm, being torn from that dream, forcibly awoken as it’s pulled out from underneath you and you have to face the consequences of reality and your self. Here, more than any other song, Jimin seems to grapple with truly facing his emotions and fears head on and hoping to come out the other side the victor. In his Rolling Stones interview he talks about how this album came about after talking to the members, after they encouraged him to harness his emotions and heal through creating music, after he confessed to feeling like he wasn’t doing well, to being lost, and that he was worried he was the odd man out, that everyone else was doing fine while he was struggling to keep up the mask of being fine. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first song he worked on, when he got back. The lyrics sound so similar to the things he describes in that interview. 

And finally, Set Me Free Pt. 2, the culmination of it all, the victory. He comes out on top, reborn. He faced everything in Alone and stepped out the other side with a new outlook and strength. He’s healing, he’s fighting, he’s not discouraged in the way he was at the start of this all. We’ve all seen it, too, how much happier he seems, how he said he felt like he was really, truly happy, how this album was FOR HIM and he just hopes we all like it. He really used this as therapy, to work through all those complicated feelings, and now here he is smiling, laughing, giddy with excitement and I don’t know about you guys but he just feels so much brighter than he did a year ago. 

I’m so proud of him. I’m so proud of him, not just for making an incredible album that lets us into such a raw and real place, but for trying. For facing everything dark and twisted in him and taking back control and repurposing it as something beautiful and triumphant. I’m so glad this helped him heal and I’m so glad he’s allowed us to experience it with him.

Oh, and let’s not forget that hidden track, eh? Because above all else Jimin has always been and will always be our sweet, tenderhearted angel who loves us 10x more than we could ever love him. I cried, you cried, we’re all going to continue to cry every time we hear it. It was absolutely beautiful. 

#park jimin #jimin #face #face album #thoughts on face #album analysis #bts

[lewkwoodnco]

Cruel Summer (Part 2) - Lockwood x Reader

A/N: continuation of the cruel summer fic! Also refer to the gif in the first part for the bit where Lockwood looks up at the reader :))

Chronological order: timeless cruel summer (pt 1, pt 2) august (tsitp version) the alcott

After much effort Lockwood had surprisingly managed to secure the agency invitations to the Fittes ball, even after the ruckus they had caused the previous year. He walked in and presented them with a flourish, practically skipping around the room.

“I don’t know how you managed it, but these are very much real,” said George, after examining them carefully. “Pity it was all for naught.”

“All for naught? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I already told you before you left; I’ve looked over our plans and there is simply no way we can sneak past the guards swarming the place after the stunt we pulled last year.”

“Come off it, George, there has to be a way.”

“We can’t, not with them watching.”

Lucy broke in. “What if we don’t go? We can scale the walls, everyone else will be occupied at the ball, no one would even notice.”

“After I sold my soul for these tickets? Fat chance. Besides, Fittes would sniff it out if we don’t turn up.”

“As interesting as all this is,” she yawned, standing up, “I’m going up to get some rest.” She was still injured from her fall a few days back, and she hadn’t stopped wincing enough for Lockwood to let her come on any new missions. Part of her liked to think it was because he worried about her, and another part knew it was probably some sort of punishment for not being completely honest that night.

She was thinking of the puzzle she would break out while the rest went over to Fittes when she caught Lockwood’s eye. His expression was that infuriating mixture of daring and smugness that made her want to plant her face on his. He quirked a smile, and the shadows outlining his face made her breath catch, which she tried to pass off as a cough. For a man who prided himself on saintly values which bigger agencies lacked, it was remarkable how good being devilish looked on him.

“What? What?”

————————————————————————

“We’re going to get caught.”

“No, we won’t, because we all know what to do. So quit it.”

“I’m going to get caught. They’re going to take one look at me and head straight for the library.”

“Which would be fine, since we’re not going there anyway.”

“Then where?”

“Like I’d tell you, Miss Blab-a-mouth.”

“That’s just as well. I’m going to get piss-drunk and make a fool of myself.”

With that, she let out a desperate wail, burying her face in her hands while Lockwood unsympathetically walked around the room, collecting chains.

“No, you won’t, because there’ll be mocktails.”

“Just hurry, please?”

“We’ll be quick.” Lockwood stood up from the dusty corner he was huddled in with a little streak of dirt on his cheek. Without thinking, she reached out to wipe the dirt off, tracing his cheekbone delicately. His lips parted, and the ghost of whatever he was about to say hovered, but then they heard George’s footsteps getting closer, and they shifted away, the tension melting. All summer long, it was just one disappointment after another, she thought bitterly. She knew he felt something, he had to, but he would never admit it. It was irritating.

The plan was that only she would go to the ball, claiming the others had fallen terribly ill with chicken pox, and the only reason she was here was out of gratitude for the invitations. The others would go in, find what they needed, then signal her to leave to ‘check in on the poor things.’

They wanted to arouse as little suspicion as possible, so they rented a car instead of flagging down a cab this time. George was driving, scolding Lockwood for fiddling with the radio, who defensively insisted that he was ‘only playing around,’ which was more than enough entertainment for her and Lucy. But her laughter didn’t last long - Lockwood didn’t seem to know much beyond ‘playing around’ in general.

That must have been where the bitter feelings started. They parted ways at the back of the Fittes building, Lockwood winking at her as they started scaling the wall, but for once she didn’t feel all fluttery on the inside. It felt like a weak surge that fizzled out quicker than it had started, leaving behind the resentment brewing over the past couple of days, ever since that night at the library. Lockwood was so stupid, acting like he actually cared about her bruise, something she hadn’t been able to get him out of her head, something that made her want more with him. More than whatever two-step they engaged in, always dodging any real signs of affection or desire.

She had started with the mocktails, but they were too diluted to have any real sort of flavour. Besides, it just wasn’t doing it for her, not after the past couple of days she had, and so it was time for the cocktails. She had to pause occasionally to remind herself what signal she was supposed to be looking out for. Unfortunately for the poor waiter she had accosted, she began dumping all her emotional agony on him.

“Listen - Jeeves, is it? - imagine this hors d’œuvre is, say, the light in your life, the burning sunset you never want to end…”

As the night wore on, she grew drunker and drunker at such alarming speed that there was simply no room for suspicion towards Lockwood and Co. she had reached a point where her words had started to slur, not that it stopped her from talking the waiter’s ear off.

“His eyes, they shine like summer, or like that glint on the wall…”

The glint shifted back and forth sharply. It was almost too intentional for it to coincidentally look exactly the same as the signal they had agreed on.

“Oh-oh! Jeeves! I have to go! You did distract me with your chatter. Bye now!”

Jeeves glumly waved at her as she rushed down the narrow stairs, as mute as he was when he first sat down. She gripped onto the banister for dear life as the floor shifted below her feet. What felt like just a few seconds to her had apparently been a full half minute.

She didn’t exactly remember how she ended up in the car, just the relief of getting off the stairs and the panic that set in when the floor continued to swim, and suddenly she was in a cushy woollen seat with the blurry image of Lockwood on her left.

————————————————————————

“Wha- where’s everyone?”

“We had to split up in the end; George and Lucy exited on the other end of the building so they’re probably taking a cab from there.”

She nodded, trying to cool her rosy face with her hands, watching Lockwood drive out of the corner of her eye. That feverish feeling was back, and she was beginning to think Lockwood was some flu she could never recover from, a bad habit she didn’t even want to kick. He drove her crazy, and it was all his fault.

That’s all she’d ever to be to him - crazy.

It was like a dam broke, and she started sobbing a bit too noisily, sending Lockwood into a confused panic.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine.” Her voice cracked even as she bit the lie out, as if Lockwood was forcing her to lie to him. But in a way, wasn’t he? He couldn’t expect her to just come right out and say it, could he? That just stressed her out even more, making her dissolve into more sobs.

The rest of the drive was silent but fraught with tension, interspersed with the occasional hiccup from her. When they finally pulled into the driveway, he switched off the engine and cut the headlights, but made no intimation to exit the car. She could almost see the balmy air outside, hear the cicadas chirping, a world so peaceful and happy - so very different from the world inside this car. She wished it was simple and easy and comfortable, but just looking at Lockwood was a stab in the gut.

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’ve been acting…off, lately.”

She rolled her eyes; it was so like him to be purposefully vague. Lockwood never was a man of details, just vague plans which tore her apart and always kept her waiting for him to cut deeper, say something that actually mattered.

“I don’t know what you mean. Off how? If you have something to say, then say it.”

He bristled. “Fine. I don’t like it when you lie to me.”

That was the last straw. She opened the car door and was through the gate, halfway up the stairs by the time Lockwood caught up to her.

“Y/N- wait! I didn’t mean it like that, you know it.”

“You think I’m just going to sit there and listen to you talk to me about lying?”

“Y/N, you’re being ridiculous.”

“You make my mouth dry and my head spin and you won’t even acknowledge it, but I’m ridiculous?”

Lockwood presses his lips together, but she was too far gone to stop now. Loving him was electrifying, terrifying and so, so cruel.

“I see the way you shrink, the way you return to whatever shell you’ve made for yourself the second things get too real. And I’m tired of it. I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you. And maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I’m the one who sealed my fate when I started sneaking around with you, dancing around us. Loving from balconies, in the glow of vending machines, in the dark of the night…t’s exhausting and makes me delirious, but I’ll probably keep doing it anyway.”

And then there was nothing left to say, except for probably the worst thing. “There’s no other explanation. I love you, Lockwood.”

#fanfiction #anthony lockwood imagine #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you #fanfic #lockwood & co #lockwood and co #lockwood and co netflix #lockwood x y/n #cruel summer #taylor swift #lover

[bonefall]

how long is the gap between the clans being founded & firepaw arriving?

About 80 years

I'm working with the authorial assertion that Turtle Heart (canon: Turtle Tail) got flattened by a Model T, which had its height in popularity in England around the mid 1920's.

So, Bonefall DOTC, which takes place over a span of 10 years, is somewhere between 1925 - 1935. In terms of my History Lesson, that is called the Dawn Era of the Ancient Period.

The Ancient Period is chronologically the longest of any age, because it's not very well remembered. The Clans didn't really teach history until post-Ripplestar, many years later, so it's more of a collection of parables.

Anyway, Code Era of the Ancient Period lasted from about 1935 - 1950, and yes, overlaps World War 2 lmao. The geographical region I model experienced carpetbombing.

But here's where it gets interesting-- the Skyfall Era overlaps with the postwar boom, the worst ecological disaster since the Victorians back in the late 1800's. If you remember my other redux, Hollyleaf's Century? I mentioned my plans to model Victorian environmental destruction for that one. The first British motorway, the Preston bypass, was completed in 1958.

Logging, road construction, suburban expansion, it got REALLY bad in this period. That's what canonically happened to SkyClan too-- Chelford expanded. Seems to line up perfectly. It's safe to say that the Skyfall Era was something like 1950 - 1970, bringing us up to the modern age.

First Era of the Chivalric Period was the Ripple Era, and Ripplestar was an experienced cat when he took over from Dawnstar, so we can say that it was at least 1976. One year of war later, at least 1977.

We had another generation between this point and the events of Darkstar's Commandment, creating the Queen's Rights and starting the Crusade Era. 7 years is a reasonable amount of times for all 4 leaders to be dead, so it's safe to guess that the Crusade Era takes place around 1984, funny meme number

Attacks on Chelford, BloodClan forms in response, Pineheart is born towards the end of this era, Heatherstar kicks off the Campaign Era by challenging ShadowClan over the Mothermouth Moorland. The year is looking like 1991, it's been 7 years.

(side note: it's too bad that my timeline didn't line up perfectly for the Great Hunger to happen around the height of DDT's popularity in the early 70's. I would have loved to have talked about the environmental impacts of pesticides... maybe I'll bend it a little bit just so I can. Then again, I am basing my desire to talk about DDT off being American, maybe there was a different pesticide that was prevalent in England? Will do more research.)

Bluestar, Rosetail, and her friends are looking at retirement by the point TPB opens up, which in this redux, is about 10 years of age. We're going to say that Rusty enters the Clan in the year Into the Wild came out in England-- 2003. Seems right on time! Bluestar being born around 1993 lines up.

#You're gonna have to make do with rough estimates #I don't have a month by month timeline planned out #yet #Bonefall Rewrite #Bonefall Rewrite History Lesson #Bonefall Timeline

[penroseparticle]

📚 📣

A song or album you could write a term paper on

Caravan Palace's debut album (Self Titled) came out in 2008. A refreshing, large ensemble album that included some truly talented producers, writers, and talent (did you know Delaporte is a credited writer?). Caravan Palace has had mostly niche success in the United States, as they've developed into one of the more well known Electro Swing bands out there, with their crossover US hit being Lone Digger, from Robot Face (I can't be assed to look up how to type it so take a copy: <|°_°|>, although Robot Face is an accepted title of the album as well) a song made famous not just for how fucking much it slaps, but also for its distinctive music video of anthro people in a club where everyone gets fucking killed in a bar brawl. The songs are snappy, catchy, and clearly evoking the genre and decade they're from, while still bringing something fresh and new. Caravan Palace is known for their dedication to music videos as a direct dialogue with their music- while the live music is great (I've seen them live 3 times now), and the songs stand alone on the album proper, you're really missing out if you don't watch the videos. For instance- you would have no idea that Moonshine from their 2019 album Chronologic intentionally riffs on Lone Digger 2/3 of the way through the song or why, and the music video (About a flat earth truther) looping around to the iconic music video all over again really drives home how even setting out and avoiding your rut can end you up in the same place- something of a Cassandra style warning despite the lyrics being much more open ended.

The band seems utterly massive at times, at it's largest it had... 9 members I believe? And the sound variety that they can produce is unbelievable for a group that size- I feel like everyone is doing 3 different jobs.

Also, their cover of Black Betty is my favorite cover of that song. Unimpeachable, and honestly might be neck and neck with the original by Ram Jam (I always liked Keep Your Hands On The Wheel way more anyways, sorry not sorry).

Anyways that's just my starting salvo for going into Robot Face, which was one of my first live shows in DC I actually chose to go to myself, and I CANNOT overstate how much it was a good choice. Caravan Palace is great give them a look.

A lyric that feels like it is specifically calling you out

Uh ok uh. Well. Let's just say that I really, really didn't understand Semi-Charmed Kinda Life by Third Eye Blind until this year, and I did not hear "Doing Crystal Meth Will Lift You Up Until You Break" a single fucking time in this song until this year either despite listening to this song on loop for fucking years, to the point where I am investigating whether this was a Mandela effect type moment for me personally and specifiically.

Anyways, the number of songs about drugs? Astronomical. Hard to avoid

#ask meme #neednothavehappenedtobetrue

[morningstargirl666]

THE LITTLE WOLF UPDATE

It's here. The new improved chapters 1-3 have posted. Read The Big Bad Wolf's prequel from the beginning here. Chapters 4 & 5 should be posted a week from now, either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, depending on when I finish it.

Think of it as my little gift to you all - I hope you all have a Merry Christmas (or a Happy Hanukkah!). And for those who don't celebrate either, then Happy New Year!

If you want more details on all the changes I made to The Little Wolf, read below. It's not too spoil-ery but it's not exactly spoiler-free either, so by all means come back later to see if you found all the changes I made! Extra kudos to those who notices them all.

Over 20k+ of brand new content. This includes two new chapters (chapter 2 & 4 respectively) and around 20 or more new scenes to devour across the entirety of the fic.

Original scenes have been tweaked and expanded upon, with longer conversations or scenes between characters.

All punctuation, grammar and spelling has been proof read repeatedly. I won't say it's all perfect, because I've probably still missed bits, but its in a much better state than it was before. Dialogue grammar in particular has had a complete overhaul, which should make everything much easier to read.

Each chapter has song lyrics at the beginning, fitting the vibes or themes of the chapter. This is a part of a playlist that I will share in Running With Wolves after completing the editing to The Big Bad Wolf (which has it's own share of songs, compiled with a mix of the music I listen to while writing and music I feel embodies each chapter).

In a similar thread, new timestamps have been added whenever there is a time or location jump. Again, this is a change that will be happening to The Big Bad Wolf as well to make flashbacks clearer. Upon completion of TBBW's edit, a timeline will be added to Running With Wolves so you can see all of the events that take place in the series in chronological order.

Historical accuracy has been given a bigger focus. Obviously, there's still a need for suspension of disbelief (vikings never travelled that far south in America, horses weren't introduced to America until the 1500s etc) as I'm no history buff and I personally believe you can allow a little leeway for sake of creative freedom. However, that said, I've tried to right the most egregious wrongs by Julie Plec: the white washing of the native Americans, the almost European-Christian culture of the Mikaelsons' village (views on bastards, women like Rebekah not carrying arms and being all innocently feminine even though they were warrriors too in viking culture, lack of historical accuracy in settings/costumes/props etc) and of course, the complete lack of explanation behind how the vikings arrived in Southern America. Hopefully it should feel more alive, and I'll probably add even more in the final FINAL edit that will happen once I've finished TBBW.

The Little Wolf's main focus is Klaus' characterisation arc. However, in this rewrite, all the Mikaelson siblings get more screen time and you get their characterisation arcs in the background, as a treat.

Henrik is much more fleshed out as a character. He's mischievous and playful, a lot like Kol, with other attributes from the other siblings thrown in. He's also got more Youngest Sibling energy, just as the other siblings have Middle Child/Eldest Child energy, because in a fic about family, really that's the most important detail of them all.

I've delved deeper into Mikael and Esther's treatment of Klaus and how it wasn't much different to how they treated the other siblings after all. Don't get me wrong - in my mind Klaus was dealt the worst of Mikael's physical fury, but I don't believe 'he was singled out' is as black and white as the show would lead you to believe. That's not how abusive households work.

Talking about Klaus' characterisation, think of this fic as the death of Niklaus Mikaelson, leading to the birth of Klaus, The Original Hybrid. The Little Wolf leading the way for The Big, Bad Wolf. You'll get innocent baby boi Niklaus of course, but that same innocent kid has a feral side. When you become a vampire, it heightens who you already are and Klaus - he had that fury and violence in him all along, and it wasn't just because of the wolf.

In a lot of human-era Originals fics and the actual shows, when they're turned into vampires its all very planned out. Idk, like Esther and Mikael are evil villains twirling their moustaches? Turning their children into vampires, its all very pre-meditated, oh the horror and everything. And although there is elements of that in this rewrite (they ARE shitty, evil parents after all) I tried to do something a little original myself. In this fic, more focus is given to the family's grief and how Henrik's death becomes the shatterpoint for EVERYTHING. His death causes every bad decision made by the family from that moment on. It's less of "I planned to make my children the most powerful beings to ever walk this earth" and more of "I tried to save my children and didn't expect ANY of this so wtf do I do now, another bad decision? Yeah let's do that". You feel me? Hopefully that comes across anyways.

Okay what haven't I mentioned yet... WEREWOLF LORE. Yeah that's been expanded on and fleshed out some more. You get a glimpse into my take on how the werewolf gene is triggered, along with a coming of age ritual, general culture, outsider prejudice against werewolves etc...Klaus' views on them is much more explored, especially in relation to his heritage. Kinda playing with the idea that him being a bastard was never the problem to Mikael or Klaus - it was him being a werewolf.

Since I started re-writing this I watched way too many of Mike Flanagan's series'. So I kinda went all 'Midnight Mass' on the Mikaelson's village. Oopsies.

In a similar thread, the raven from the Fall of The House of Usher left a bigger impact on me than I like to admit. That's something so sexy about an omen of death okay leave me alone I NEED THE FORESHADOWING

There's probably more, I'm disclaiming that now, but I've forgotten. Go forth and devour my lovelies ✨

#the little wolf #the big bad wolf #tbbw #fanfiction #morningstar writes #klaroline fanfiction #klaus mikaelson #the originals #the mikaelsons #kol mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #finn mikaelson #esther mikaelson #my;fics #update #does anyone know why tumblr is being so god damn slow lately #took me forever to load this post #i am not amused

[tmntkiseki]

The miscellaneous recurring 2003 turtle thoughts

It's ironic that one of the complaints I've seen regarding the 2003 series is that it's too serious and the turtles don't act like teenagers enough, yet the two seasons where they have the most opportunities to behave like normal kids—Fast Forward and Back to the Sewer—have mixed to negative reception among fans.

Overall, the turtles are one of those "tragic teenage protagonist" cases. The fact that they're giant mutant turtles already denies them a normal social life with other teenagers their age, but they're constantly being thrown into traumatic life or death situations that would break the toughest of trained army soldiers and rarely get a moment to breathe. It makes the brief moments where we see them goofing around, joking with each other, and otherwise just acting their age that much more meaningful. (And also why Leo's PTSD arc from Season 4 hurt so bad; the All Hallows Thieves filler episode in particular stands out because it's a Halloween episode and yet Leo is the only one not having fun.)

Side note: It really is difficult to tell how much time passes in 2003. The first five seasons take place over the course of about two years, but sometimes it feels like they apply seasonal weather such as snow not because it makes sense chronologically, but because the plot of the episode wouldn't work otherwise ("The Golden Puck" from Season 2, which is a very good episode btw, is a prime example of this.)

I haven't actually watched a whole lot of Demon Slayer (I think I watched through episode 20 of the first season before I forgot about it) but the opening themes fit the turtles so well. NateWantsToBattle's English cover of Gurenge is especially good if you're imagining it as being sung from Leo's perspective.

How does Silver's theme from Sonic 06 fit Don so well? Maybe not in terms of lyrical content, but in terms of instrumentals. The LB vs JS Remix and Nightlight versions especially.

I know I was giving The Next Mutation grief for giving Venus plastron boobs, but I was looking through the official character art for the 2003 series and the way the turtles stomachs are shaded on occasion... I'm not denying that they have six packs hidden inside of their shells considering how well built they are, but I don't think those muscles are capable of bulging through their plastrons.

Demisexual Leonardo. I have made my final decision on this and will stand by it.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2003 spoilers #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello