#why are you hurting me

[bigboobyhalo]

this is not muffin this is not muffin this is not muffin this is not muffin this is not muffin this is not muffin

#WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME

[obsessed-fanatic]

#you never got what i was trying to say #im trying to reason with you #why are you hurting me #i love you god #and world #and hunicast and jonah scott and all fandoms #why is life a lying nightmare #happy 13th anniversary Rio 2011

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ro1971]

Yo so it’s April 27 you know what that means. Happy Death Day, Jason Todd

#jason todd #dc robin #Why ain’t you in your grave? #the red hood #The Joker has a Deathwish #“I thought I'd be the last person you'd ever let him hurt“ #Bruce I forgive you for not saving me. But why why on God's earth... is he still alive

[swordheld]

do the silly thing. if you do not do the silly thing time will pass and it will not be the same silly thing it could have been. it will still be silly, and it will still be yours, but it will not be the same. this is both a blessing and a curse, but so is living; and if you do not do it now when will you? who will? it has to be you, it was always meant for you, waiting for you.

#this is about writing for me but could be about anything (that is not hurtful to urself or others. very important) #that's why it is silly (affectionate) or cringey (affectionate) like u gotta just let yourself go sometimes. you have to do the thing. #even if it is terrible horrible (not what you want) bc at least then it EXISTS. at least it holds space in the universe and it lives outsid #you can let it sit and rot and gather dust but at least then you can go back to it. even if it's horrible there is at LEAST at least - #one kernel of it that you can bring into the next piece. at least one shining pearl of something. #even if it needs work or months in those lil funky rock tumblers for geodes and gemstones and all. even if needs SO much work. #at least it is there!!! and it is yours!!! #it's your call to action if it's something u want w/ all your heart. #or even a piece of it. if it's something you want? well - it's already yours. it always has been. #you just have to take the first step / the first breath / and begin. #scribbles.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i saw them in the cookbook pages and Immediately thought of this meme:

#barnaby: this is so nice. just me and my buddy whipping up a tasty treat #wally: *having six simultaneous crises* #anyway. huh? #this was a pain to scribble and i Dont Know Why #i had to redraw barnaby's face literally five times #but im trying to Expand my skillset by attempting more backgrounds #or background adjacent things... Props! #im very proud of the counter & flower vase off to the side! #and uh. Filters! those as well. i wanted to make this look somewhat like its aged... #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #man. these two. squeezes them #halloween update made me love them all the more #name a better pair of best friendsssss you canttttttt #they are Top Tier and i hope they get torn apart one way or another #you see i live for the drama the pain the agony the devastation #i see my favorites and i want them to Hurt. #anyway thinking about them baking together melts my stony heart #theyre bonding 🥺 #oh man why is that emoji So Fucking Detailed on my laptop. its scaring me. kill it kill it kill it

[yashley]

"Yeah, but we talked about it and I didn’t want it." "Why not?" "Because it scared me."

#critical role #ygifs #cr3 #fearne #she got me fucked up #her leaving her treasured cherished postcards at the altar of the raven queen where so many memories are left #leaving the one thing that had been her lifeline and her hope. the most important thing to her and she leaves them behind #because they weren't what she thought they were. #her innocence growing into sadness and that's the reason why she feared the dark versions of herself #because she was sad and angry and alone #this faun wearing her heart on her sleeve and running from what hurts her and it's just. ms johnson i'm #''do you think it’s the world changing you or do you think it’s you changing in the world?'' ''yes.'' girl i'm on my knees #I couldn't be more grateful fearne continued from exu this growth hurts so so so good I'd die for her #fearne angry? delicious. fearne sad? delicious. fearne tits? del- #fearne this episode you can really taste the If I'm Not Pleasing People It's My Fault When They Leave and it bit me

[aroaceleovaldez]

random nico power headcanon of mine is that he can overhear things through shadows, particularly if he really focuses in and listens, and if anyone says his name it'll catch his attention through the shadows no matter where either of them are.

the angsty half of this hc is that it means Nico is unfortunately extremely aware of all the negative things people say about him, because he's forced to hear it constantly even when no one else is around unless he's actively tuning it out.

the funny half is that it means Nico knows way too much gossip, and the shippy portion is that it means Nico is far too aware of when people are saying nice things about him and he doesn't know what to do about it.

#pjo #nico di angelo #riordanverse #headcanon #hc #its a very fun hc for me. there's so much you can do with it #explanation for why Nico knows so much random stuff! why he's so good at espionage! #explanation for why Nico is hyperaware of all the hurtful things people say about him and has such bad self-esteem about it! #potential use for ship goofs! it's an op power for sure when you think about it but so fun

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #lan wangij #jin ling #LWJ shifting into fight mode was so damn cool. He is always ready to start throwing hands. #It's in a way that befits someone with a bit more bloodlust that his calm demeanor lets on - but nearly always in defense of someone. #What a great synergy with his personal philosophies! see that he is a Genuinely Noble Guy time and time again! #Is is also way more hilarious and unhinged than most people give him credit for? Also yes. #Nothing and no one ever said he did not or would not rip off JGY's hat mid-fight. I think LWJ needs to snatch more wigs LITERALLY. #Yes I'm delaying the part where I have to address the emotional turmoil of Jin Ling stabbing wwx. It gutted me terribly. #What is worse that realizing that someone you respected has done horrible things #than discovering someone who did horrible things being a kind and trustworthy person? #What is more horrifying that realizing other people are extremely complex and cannot be categorized into black and white? #When people hurt us or our loved ones we very much want to make them out to be irredeemable monsters. But they are not. #It is not actually such a terrible fate to just be a person. To be forgiven and forgive is possible. To change is possible. #This lesson is hard. It is something you have to actively challenge yourself to do. Black and white is the innate path to go down. #And its *why* I love Jin Ling so much. He is the character who fights the longest and hardest to challenge social and personal beliefs #He gets a pass for stabbing wwx for being so deliciously conflicted and tormented by it. #And with wrists THAT limp I can't imagine the wound was particularly deep

[whump-is-love-whump-is-life]

Screaming.

Please do not do this but I just screamed for 30 minutes so here’s what you should know.

Can’t do it continuously for very long, have to stop to breathe (amount of time and breaths it takes to recover depends on how long you hold it)

It is EXHAUSTING. Seriously, if your whumpee has been screaming for more than thirty seconds multiple times, they won’t have ANY energy to fight back against the whumper. My head was hanging down for a bit because I was just so tired. The exhaustion also caused dizziness when I stood up. Also it’s been around five minutes and my throat still hurts super bad.

Oddly, I could still talk, maybe a bit of rasp in my voice but still effectively and fairly easily. (Again, about thirty minutes with tiny breaks)

Seriously when the exhaustion hits, it hits H A R D

Mouth kinda hurts too tbh

Heart beats pretty rapidly during and shortly after

My head hurts

Both hurts and helps to cough

Update an hour later: slightly hurts throat to talk

Moral of the story:

Don’t scream so much that you exhaust yourself,

Make your whumpee scream to the whumpers content

#my whump #my posts #so yeah #imma bed now #whump #whump community #whumpblr #screaming #whump ideas #whump prompts #kinda #exhaustion whump #update: did it again #because #me = stupid #stomach and throat hurt #mouth hurts too #update much later: throat still a bit sore but I am ok #someone’s going to read my fic and be like ‘why was there so much detail about the screaming tho??’ #and I’m just over here 😀😀😀’YOU MERE MORTAL COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND MY SACRIFICE’

[dovelywind]

ꕥ| Rocket Raccoon & Nebula — GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

#Why you so quiet? What’s on your mind? #this — rocket and nebula’s relationship #i don’t know what this is #but vol 3 has me in my feels #because I was hurtin for her #I was hurting for him #and rocket for that split moment might’ve thought he was alone before carol got nebula and Tony #and went back to thinking about llyla teefs and floor #five years these two were alone #and she misses her sister #and they had to deal with grief #grief is something different and I don’t think they ever really let all of them deal with gamora’s #because hugs #rocket raccoon #nebula #rocket gotg #how he calls her ‘nebs’ #guardians of the galaxy #avengers endgame #guardians of the galaxy vol. 3 #gotg spoilers #gotg vol 3 spoilers #gotg 2 #gotg3 #marvel #mcu #mcu art #my art

[taikk0]

the unspoken broflovski family curse

#added the doodle late oops #taikko art #dont ask me what happened to my old sketchy painted ish style when i first started making sp art #did you know?? that i enjoy?? not? hurting??????????? #its south park let me take it easy ugh finally i can draw in a style thats easy rottmnt artstyle kicked my ass #'why is kyles son wearing a different outfit?' i headcanon that kyles daughter is actually wearing hand me downs from him!! #i desperately need confirmed names omfg #I LOVE CHARACTERS WITH BARELY ANY CHARACTER TO THEM!! IT MEANS I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!! #me when i get to slap personalities and headcanons on characters that were on screen for less than a minute <3 #i need to read peoples headcanons on them please im so uncreative and i need to eat i am NOT self sustaining #south park #south park art #south park fanart #sp fanart #sp art #sp fandom #south park fandom #south park post covid #sp post covid #post covid #kyle #kyle broflovski #sp kyle #south park kyle #pc kyle #post covid kyle

[localpizza-bot]

Time to finally admit it, I adore these two

Square ver bc tumblr killed the quality

Here have some music

#Tell me why this took 19 hours help me #Anyway so I decided to finish the wish concept art redraw #Everything hurts I need a nap #Background design is my passion please don’t bully me too hard #Mario #mario rpg #smrpg #geno #do I dare tag #genario #why not #If you’re gonna ask what’s up with the shading I couldn’t tell you myself

[turtleblogatlast]

Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.

My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.

I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?

And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.

Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.

Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.

So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)

He even gave up his prized possession! His room!

Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.

Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.

Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.

He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.

He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.

Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #everything Leos do almost always ties back to Splinter send tweet #anyway imo if I was Leo winning every lair game I would be bored as hell #and add on to my own dad joining in with my brothers on being disappointed when I do well? #yeeaaah id be my own biggest fan too #tbh Leo’s big brain plays both in Lair Games and Many Unhappy Returns are his real victories #I will say I was proud of Donnie for doing so well! #he deserves a win definitely #but looking at this from Leo’s perspective and realizing this is JUST before the ‘why don’t any of you trust me’ line hurts #wanna make this hurt more? #how about Leo purposefully wanting to lose…but he was a bit miffed that DONNIE out of anyone won #why? #because Leo makes jokes all the time but Splinter says DONNIE is the funny one #because althroughout Many Unhappy Returns Splinter says how he’d prefer if DONNIE were there instead of Leo #makes me wonder y’know? if there’s any scratchy feelings there #nothing that Leo has against Donnie so much as the assumption that Splinter would prefer him over Leo #which if I was Leo…I’d definitely think so even if Splinter absolutely loves his sons equally #just as Donnie probably assumes the opposite as well #splinter bro plz talk to your sons #but yeah victory for Leo imo is equivalent to acknowledgement #just *seeing* him #so he very easily gets wrapped up in the obsession for being the champion #*lou jitsu* always wins and Splinter wants them more like Lou Jitsu so LEO has to always win or… #or…

[flufflecat]

this is the most beautiful creature on earth and I will kill someone if it asks me to

#horseshoe crabs #I had a fun day at the beach #60% of my time was spent looking for horseshoe crabs #sadly I didn't find any tagged ones so no horseshoe crab pin for me 😔 #God I love these creatures though #shoutout to the girl and her boyfriend who were very interested in hearing my Horseshoe Crab Facts spiel #especially bc the girl let me teach her how to hold the crab so she could take a pic with it #I respect you random beach girl #and your lack of fear when faced with a creature that looks like a facehugger #I'm obsessed with how utterly chill and harmless horseshoe crabs are #they just scoot along like little roombas #and look so creepy but have no ability to hurt anyone #(I don't think they're creepy though. I think they're adorable perfect little angels) #and the way they move is perfect. it looks fake #I wish I could spend the next 7 hours at the beach staring at horseshoe crabs #why oh why must I be here with my family. these losers want to do things like 'go back to the hotel because it's getting dark' #booooo cowards #join me in some nighttime horseshoe crab excursions #cute animals #crabs #(not actually a crab)