#why cant i be better

[princess-of-darknessx]

“ how are you? “

“ i’m good! “ ( i haven’t been okay since the peak of my childhood and i don’t mean my childhood entirely i mean like the beginning where i was way too young to remember anything, i internally cry now everyday because i’m too numb to physically cry and produce tears , i disappoint everyone i love, i’m an adult now and still don’t know what i want to do with my life i genuinely see no future for myself, i look in the mirror and want to shatter the glass into a million pieces because i hate what i see, i’m never satisfied or happy with anything and i use substances to cope with the pain but i come right back to an endless state of depression once the high is over, i genuinely feel like i was a mistake and have no purpose, my own mind hates me more than anything or anyone could. i constantly think about isolation and running away from everyone and everything because i’m in a loop of endless suffering. )

#im not mentally stable #mentally tired #sad thoughts #depressing quotes #depeession #why cant i be happy #why cant i be better #i want to cry #god why #what’s wrong with me #bpd feels #traumatized for life lol

[abcbxx]

imagine like you just decide that one day youre gonna live the life you always wanted, and you let go of all the things that are holding you back, and free the wei --- I JUST GOT MY RELIGION BACK I GOT AN A- YIPPEEE. why not a full A ugh bitch, anyway --- ght off your shoulders lmao

#save me #i wish #why cant i be better #kms #help #school #good grades #but depression #lmao

[la-lil-alien]

#mentally unstable #hello darkness my old friend #state of me #mental health #wtf is wrong with my brain #wtf is wrong w me #self deprecating meme #why am i like this #why cant i be normal #self deprecating humor #depressing memes #depressing shit #anxious #actually agoraphobic #insomniac #i need help #the struggle is real #why do i do this to myself #why cant i be better #self preservation #self care #send help #lost #lost in life #spaced out #alien #life quotes #life memes #lifehack

[a-bouquet-of-yellow-carnations]

hand me a bouquet of yellow carnation

i'll take it and breathe in the bitter fragrance

at least carnations are pretty

at least you can look at them and smile

i can't say the same for me

#i am a disappointment #a genuine disappointment #to myself and to my family #why cant i be better #why cant i even TRY to be better #i hate myself

[avocadoghost0]

I kinda feel like no one cares about me except for if I do well in school and am a model student but I'm not. I used to be but not anymore. What if I used up all my talent in like first or second grade and now I'm worthless?? I try to be perfect because then people might like me but I just can't give 100% and it makes me feel broken. What's wrong with me and why can't I fix it?

#help #ive been crying for hours #why cant i be better #people keep saying theyre proud of me but not for anything other than what a good kid i am #or used to be anyway #ihatemyself #why #i know itll pass and i know im weak for thinking like this #but i cant help it #whyyyyy

[999999999inadream]

toby fox needs to add like a bit of narration in deltarune abt kris like "they themmed they/themily down the stheirs" cus i cant go on seeing them constantly get he/himmed in yt comment sections

#this is my punishment for actually looking at yt comments isnt it #deltarune #kris dreemurr #maybe im looking too much into things but... #it also feels sorta. misogynistic when ppl default to he/him for androgynous/non binary characters #like ive seen multiple ppl use “well its understandable that ppl assume kris is a he when they have such masculine behaviours/hobbies” #the masculine behaviours and hobbies in question are being a prankster #i shit you not #like they called pranking... masc?? huh #can girls and others not get their silly on anymore?? #also like i said before with the exception of like frisk and chara like almost every nb character is masculinised #like napstablook monster kid #god there has to be more but my memory is shit atm and i also have to go eat dinner #but i wanna talk more abt like why it feels so misogynistic to me #i thinnk it has to do with the fact that defaulting to he/him just makes women feel like an afterthought. ig like unless its confirmed then #they must be a guy to be relevant or smth #and also like how much they gender entirely non gender specific things (see: pranking) #ofc it wouldnt be BETTER per se if they imagined these characters as girls but its smth ive noticed and i just get frustrated cus #it feels sexist but i cant FULLY articulate why #i feel like i had the answer a lil while ago but i forgot #i might come back to this who knows #wow ok rant over #for now

[puppyeared]

axolotl

#covers my face. this is dumb theyre dumb idk what was going thru my mind making this.h #i like this brush tho i think ill keep using it #i had this thought awhile ago that axolotls kind of remind me of macs ears. and i had a nice thought that if wukong ever saw one #he'd say the same thing. and thats why im sitting here with my head in my hands #macaque doesnt know if hes embarassed amused or straight up smitten. its all 3 #i have such a hard time drawing necks and shoulders.. mac is supposed to kind of hunch up his shoulders #the way some ppl do when they bow their neck down kind oflike. defensive-tucking in position when theyre making themselves small #i cant really get it to look right so it kinda looks like his head is sunken too close to his shoulders. so i guess ill keep practising #maybe if i brought his head closer to the collarbone it will look better. but i struggle with foreshortening so theres a chance itll #just look like his neck starts at the collar. ughhh #god have mercy if i ever draw hugs. i hate positioning the shoulder i hate hate hate it. 10 dead 17 injured #i have new design note ideas for em but ill post another time #myart #doodles #lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #shadowpeach #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #lmk liu er mihou

[the-witch-down-the-hall]

Man I really must love fucking up my life because that seems to be all that I'm good at.

#im over today #why cant i be better #this is why i dont have friends

[nothingbizzare]

To be a sunflower looking at the sun

#ah welp this was planned to be an animatic or an fanfic but like i love this idea so much about sunflowers looking at the sun #so here have this just because i love them #nothingbizzare art #i am really tired so i cant explain all in all character analysis why sunflowers and sun but if i feel better i will write hehehehe #i love sunflowers #not my best art i am just really trying to get back to drawing full art #teruki hanazawa #terumob #shigeo kageyama #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho fanart #mp100 fanart

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

#pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?'' #and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus #but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3'' #and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to'' #only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it #and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book #Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out'' #Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.'' #''this has been so bad for my health'' #Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested. #Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him'' #Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him. #and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE #though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it. #he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure'' #nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards. #which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for

[yendts]

messing around with their designs cause this interpretation is growing on me. might change them more later idk

#thalia i can see literally any race #unfortunately i don’t think jason as a character is cool enough to be anything but white #like he’s a dorky oblivious white boy but like. visually this version is so cool #this is better than white boy jason with ‘mediterranean’ thalia like why cant they look like siblings #but with show zeus i’d love to see his kids resembling him #also w show annabeth if jason looked like this percy would still have a type👀 #who said that #jason grace #thalia grace #grace siblings #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #hoo #jason hoo #thalia pjo #daughther of zeus #son of jupiter #jupiter pjo #zeus pjo #rick riordan #riordan universe #riordanverse

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

finally colored that Eddie scribble <3 rough day p.2!

#am i happy with this? no! but im tired of messing with it so this is what we get #i mean its not Bad but. sigh #i gotta get better at coloring stuff its my Art Weakness #no matter how much i try i cannot understand color theory #my brain simply says No <3 #i have perfect color vision and yet. and fucking yet. cant use it for shit! yeehaw! #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #eddie dear #i hope he enjoys that ice cold soda - sold exclusively at howdys for a stellar deal only one hundred percen- *gunshot* #i would like everyone to know that i unironically initially wrong 'seld' instead of 'sold' #and genuinely didnt know why there was a little red squiggle friend underneath it for a solid minute #the brain is rotting <3 i go outside and the ravens start divebombing <3 #i am living up to my url of 'carrion' #dead meat walkin babeyyyyyy #i think the chronic migraines are actually frying my neurons!!! yee! haw!

[give-grian-rights]

for anyone who doesn't watch any minecraft youtubers that do lore/servers, please.

try to imagine a show where every single character has their own point of view show, with their own shenanigans, storyline, editing-style, etc.

you go from watching a happy little man with elf ears and a whimsical smile who's a theme park owner. go to another pov and it's a giant fucking green guy with horns and cyborg parts with funky music as his intro and the sound of a goat crying and he's cackling madly explaining how he's about to shoot a missile at his neighbor every day for the rest of their life because the neighbor dug a hole on his property. he's neighbors with the whimsical theme park owner

i cannot watch normal shows anymore

#now i just watch a show like hmm. HMMM. WHY CANT I SEE WHAT THAT BLORBO BACK THERE IS UP TO ON A DAILY BASIS!!!! #mcyt is for the bitches who always liked the comedic relief character or antagonist better than the main character #mcyt #hermitcraft #mika-posts

[la-lil-alien]

#hello darkness my old friend #mentally unstable #mental health #state of me #wtf is wrong w me #self deprecating meme #alien #im sad okay #wtf is wrong with my brain #mental health memes #why cant i be better #why am i like this #i need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep #i need help #send help #lost in life #lost in space #just losing my mind #existential dread #i hate my brain #i hate my liiiiife #self deprecating humor #depressing shit #anxious #actually agoraphobic #insomniac #i feel sick #i feel numb #just why #i wanna disappear

[wild-west-stucky]

How many versions of my mother lie under her grave?

what dreams did she give up when she had me?

what lives did she set aside to help me live mine?

(how many people will be buried with me?)

#poems and quotes #poets on tumblr #my mother gave so much #why cant i be better

[skeletonrxle]

i just posted a pic on instagram and none of my friends commented i wanna die

#wtf #i wanna die #why is this happening #i just want to be loved #why cant i be better