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atzfilm · 3 months

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— from eden; (m) part one

there's something wretched about this. something so precious about this, oh what a sin

— yeosang/f.reader, seonghwa/f.reader

— vampire!au, angst, smut (15.3k)

— you never thought you'd fall for your best friend. and yet there you were, stumbling upon him in a lover's embrace. heartbroken, you escape to a quiet bar not far from where you work. a man with a pretty mark on his face distracts you.

— content; mxm content, cussing, blood, blood drinking (it's painful, not sexy 😭) heartache, injuries, anxiety, death, violence, slightly descriptive murder (?), attempted assault (nothing happens aside from brief arm touch), insults, smut: unprotected sex, mention of threesome

part two (finale)

you never lived in the moment, never think about how the rain falls, how the streetlights seemingly has an otherworldly feeling to them. you're sure that many of us never do; so deeply involved in our own lives that we never second guess, never take a pause to truly see our surroundings. to hold in a breath and just take that second to stand, to look. you were one of them, until you met him. he's ordinary in every sense of the word. quiet, calm, brown eyes soft in their gaze, lips plush, reddening around the spot he bites into. he is so irrevocably ordinary that it makes no sense as to why you feel like this. park seonghwa should not be making you feel like this.

you sit on the opposite bench from said man, coffee lukewarm as you grip the reusable plastic, desperately trying to look anywhere but directly in front of you. should you feel this way? he's always been the one man you can count on, the one man who never hesitated to help. kindness seemed to flow through his skin as if it was his own blood. he's the opposite of you, the person you've desired to be. your lips tremble as you take in another exaggerated amount of air, eyes glued to the way his pen glides along the paper, glasses resting on the tip of his nose. you can remember the day you joined him on his exam; his eyes wide in shock when the optometrist told him his sight was worse than yours. oh how you wish you can turn back time, forget everything after that moment. somehow change things.

there are often times that you wish that you did not feel the way you felt. that your friend of four years did not make your chest ache so painfully. you hated liking someone, hated the dread, the anxiety that filled your body in every little interaction. you cross your legs, pulling a stray strand from tickling your cheek. your heartbeat fills your ears, your mouth dry.

maybe if you were able to turn back the clock – never stumbling upon him in that bathroom with san, lips pressed together, arms in a tight embrace. maybe if you were not insistent on checking up on him, things would be different. you would still only look at him as your best friend.

"surprised you haven't run over to him," your other friend slides next to you, his own coffee up to his lips. his headphones are his scarf, pale cheeks coated with a light blush. he wiggles his brows, nudging your shoulder as he continues. "traumatized just like the rest of us?"

"how so?" your brow lifts, finally shifting to him. "something new happened?"

"much of the same. san fucks another coworker, it spreads. seonghwa seems to be the victim this time, though. a bit sad, you know. he really thought they had something."

another thing you've forgotten. seonghwa told you of his own crush. choi san. everyone knows how he is, the endless list of conquests not ending anytime soon. you've warned him that san never took things like this seriously, but he refused to listen to you. insisted that it would be different. that he himself is different from the rest. there was no jealousy behind your intentions until you saw it in action. san making eye contact with you. the smirk crossing his lips. it's just something you can't get out of your head.

"i haven't spoken about it with him yet," you admit, sighing. "i should have already, it's just been so busy and–"

"and he needs his best friend," hongjoong lifts his cup, gesturing to him. "he has been knee deep in that project, distracting himself. it's been days already."

you want to say you know, but it'll only make matters worse. you aren't sure what san said to seonghwa, if he ever told him of your presence just on the other side of the door. and it scares you that he might have. there was no hiding the look you gave the two of them no matter how much you tried to hide it. envy? jealously? bitterness? in the end they are all one in the same.

"i'll talk to him."

—

you didn't. hands folded in your head in the staff library, staring at the endless shelves, a pout on your lips. you are not short by any means, but the shelves are high enough to touch the ceilings. and the one book you need rests at the very top. your eyes shift to the ladder next to you, immediately tensing. climbing up over eight feet is not on your agenda (and in fact, never was), so here you stand. anger rising.

"you could have called me."

seonghwa stands there in all his glory – black turtleneck tucked into his pressed slacks, familiar black boots covering his feet, pretty round glasses resting on top of his head. how have you not noticed how effortlessly handsome he was before? he tilts his head at you, a small smile on his lips.

"we've been over this plenty of times. can't read into that big mind of yours. gotta say it out loud." he slides the ladder as you step back, slowly ascending to the shelf you need. you don't even tell him which book it is that you want, his long fingers delicately plucking it off the shelf.

"you’ve been so involved with the project i didn't want to interrupt because of my fear," you frown. "if hongjoong or mingi came around i would've asked them."

"mingi?" he snorts. "he's as afraid of heights as you, maybe more."

"you are too and yet here you are," you gesture to him as he makes his way down. "my knight in shining armor, always."

"it's my job when it comes to you, pretty," he laughs, finally back on the floor. he's always called you pretty, but with your growing feelings it only makes you sink further into regret.

just as he's about to pass the book back to you he stops, smile slowly fading. "you think i haven't noticed your lack of appearance, birdie? it's been over a week and you've barely texted me. your hourly knocks on my office door haven't happened, at all."

this isn't the way you wanted to do this. in all honesty you didn't even mean to avoid him, but your fear of how you feel is getting to you. especially as he stands here now, worry in his eyes as he waits for you to say something. anything.

"i’m sorry about san."

his hold on the book tightens, brows furrowed. "birdie–"

"i know you're going to say that i don't need to worry or that you'll be fine. and i know i messed up not speaking about it with you until now when i know how you felt about your relationship. i've been a horrible friend, hwa. and that feeling grew inside of me to the point where i was scared to speak to you."

seonghwa looks at you, eyes flicking between yours. he swallows slowly, tucking the book beneath his arm. without another word he takes your hand, pulling you through the stacks of books, weaving in and out the rows. you see plenty of people on your way with him. if they find it strange they don't say a word about it. he opens the balcony door, guiding you through. the wind blows past the two of you, bumps rising on your arm.

the two of you often ventured out here. away from prying eyes. away from lingering gazes. some nights you would stand next to each other and let your hearts speak untainted words. after this conversation surfaces, you're not too sure how this place would be comforting anymore. seonghwa stops pacing after a moment, eyes meeting yours.

"san told me."

"what did he say?" you ask softly. you know. it would be foolish for you not to.

"y/n," seonghwa sighs. "he told me."

no.

"i mean, i just thought it was nothing. i thought you were freaked out seeing us like that but–"

no. no.

"–maybe it's more than that? is it more than that, birdie?" he stops pacing, looking to you. "am i more than that to you?"

the hollowness of your chest grows as he stands there, putting the pieces together. it was fine, everything was fine. you were okay with feeling this way for him. everything was supposed to be okay. should you lie? will it make him stop?

"i know what you're thinking. and don't," he holds up his hand, shaking his head. "don't you dare lie to me."

"we've been best friends since we were kids, hwa."

"don't do that to me." His voice cracks at the end. "please."

"san is just talking, trying to mend things over between the two of you. there's nothing more to it."

he shakes his head, "we always tell each other the truth, so i can tell when you're lying."

"we can't do this, hwa." you're not sure if he can hear your words over the wind. "i don't want to do this with you."

"so we just pretend it's nothing? i pretend that you don't like me more than a friend and you pretend that you never saw san fucking me? is that it? your bright solution?"

you hate this. it's becoming more tainted.

"seonghwa, please–"

"no," his voice rises, and he stops, tongue dragging across his lips. his words are calmer this time. "no. i waited over a week for you to come to me and say something but you didn't say a word. and i thought that you were just embarrassed, you know? i thought that was it so i decided to come see you myself. but when you looked at me, you were afraid. you looked at me with fear, birdie." the cracks are forming. "and that's when i knew. i knew that despite how much of an asshole choi is, he was not lying when he said that you were probably in love with me. just, please. how long?"

"i don't know."

"y/n–"

"i don't fucking know, seonghwa! i'm not lying. i didn't know until i saw the two of you and..." you look away from him to the city landscape. though you've always felt small, it's never been this apparent. "and i felt it. i felt it, and i didn't know how to react or what to do so i stupidly thought it was best to ignore it. hoped that it would go away."

"love does not just go away, birdie. not like that."

you look back at him, your lips growing drier as the wind gusts hit the two of you. his hands are fists, eyes flicking between yours. love does not just go away. he said that and yet why is he looking at you with everything but?

"push me away," you say. his face finally gives you some sort of emotion. brows furrowed in confusion, lips parted. "you didn't ask for this and neither did i. so tell me to go away. tell me you don't want to be friends with me anymore. tell me to leave."

"birdie–"

"tell me to fucking leave, hwa, or ill do it myself."

"go, then. just, go."

you close your eyes. "okay." there's no reason for you to look back at him, let yourself fall into a deeper hole. so you move past him, ignoring what you believe is a sob escaping his lips. you ignore it despite everything you've been through. you ignore it because you're not sure how you will ever be able to fix this.

sliding back into your chair, you stare at the glass on the marble top. is it your third? fourth? you told the bartender to cut you off at some point, but it all feels like a blur now. you feel a bit of the buzz, but it's still not enough to pull you away from your thoughts.

"you look broken."

"is that the pickup line you're starting with? must be a rough night."

his chuckle is surprisingly low, seeping into your ears. "not quite a pick up line, no. but you look afraid, hurt. not uncommon at bars, but yours looks different."

you still have not turned to him. "how so?"

"it looks like your world was taken away from you."

your eyes flick to him. the soft light of the bar makes his skin glow, eyes on yours. they're a deeper brown, a marking on his temple, fading into his eye. if it is a scar or a birthmark you're not too sure, but it makes his face only more interesting to look at. handsome is an understatement, the curl of his lips, lift of his brow making you look away. devilishly handsome men just seem to never leave you alone. fortunate for him though, your heart is too broken to jump into the bed of another.

so you tell him as such.

"if you're trying to fuck me just give up now. this sad, broken woman isn't going to cry into your arms."

"if i wanted that i would have gone to someone else, miss," he takes a long sip of his drink, humming. "just conversation."

"why?"

"you looked like you needed someone to talk to. but if I'm being presumptuous, tell me, i'll go away."

quiet.

"you're not far off."

"hm?"

"about my world falling apart, being taken away from me. you're not far off. my best friend found out i was in love with him and i told him to get pissed at me and leave. he never did. i was the one who ran. i was the one who ran, and yet here i am. drowning my heartbreak in whatever the fuck this drink is," you eyeball the glass next to you. "a whiskey sour, maybe?"

"you're right."

you hold your face in your hands. "and now i'm confessing my fucking woes to a stranger because i have no one else. everyone i know knows him, so they'd probably tell him what i'm doing, and he'll come over and yell at me for being irresponsible and call a taxi home for me and i'll have to pretend that i don't want him–" you stop in the middle of your rant, glancing to the side.

"i'm sorry."

he waves you off, "never apologize for your feelings. you needed to let it out. who am i to stop you?"

"just a bit shocked you haven't run yet."

he snickers this time, rolling his eyes. "you are quite something. you're pissed that someone might come here and force you back home. and yet you're telling me what to do with my time? a bit ironic."

"i…" you trail off. "fuck, you're right."

"thank you for thinking so," he teases. "and if i can, i'd like to comment on your dilemma. though i doubt the words of a stranger will do much, i hope i can be of some help."

"take it away, stranger."

he gives you a brief smile, before looking at the glass in his hand, thinking. "in my long life, i've had many heartaches and regrets. i've hurt myself as well as others along the process. but what i have learned is that letting your thoughts linger on their own only hurts more. so your choice of telling him was the right thing to do despite how it may have ended. and from what you're saying, he still loves you just the same. he's kind."

"waiting for the advice to kick in," you note, and he only laughs.

"he loves you. he would be a fool not to. there are few men who would do as you say if they didn't. i know this is the opposite of what you want, but speak to him again. he may be at another bar crying over you as you are over him. actually, i’m sure he is."

"he wouldn't cry over–"

"he would," the stranger interrupts, taking another sip. "if you listen to none of my words then listen to this: you are giving yourself no credit. he loves you. if your relationship is as special as you say, he will be crying at the end of the bar, swallowing his sorrows, just as you are now."

you swallow slowly. your mouth feels dry now, the alcoholic drinks somehow making you feel utterly sober. you push the glass further away, taking the last sip of the bottle of water in front of you. the stranger watches as you think.

"i'm not sure i'm ready for that. the confrontation, that is. i'm scared."

"and admitting that is brave in itself," he glances at the drink near you, waving the bartender over. "may i request another bottled water for the lady, and a coke for myself?"

the woman disappears down the bar after hearing the order. "i'm not usually this bad at drinking."

"i can tell. you've tended a few glasses already, love," he thanks the bartender, passing you the water. "it's cold, perhaps it'll wake you up sooner."

"drowning my sorrows, uh…" you blank on his name. "wait, did i just go on a rant without even introducing myself?"

"that you did."

if you could shrivel away into nothingness you would. "y/n. yourself?"

"kang yeosang."

“nice to meet you, kang yeosang,” you smile.

“likewise, y/n.”

“and thank you for the drink. you shouldn’t have.” you take a sip of the water. “i owe you.”

“do you?” he raises his eyebrows, taking a sip of coke. “then i ask only this: take care of yourself, and don’t listen to other strangers’ advice. and,” his eyes glance at the open bottle in front of you, hand moving over the top of the glass as he slides it closer to him. “don’t leave your other drinks out in the open, please.” he takes it away from you, “i saw a man pour something into it while you were gone.”

the buzz washes away at his words, “what?”

“that’s why i came over. he’s been watching you for a while now. i’ve already alerted the bartender, and the police should be here any moment now,” he covers the contaminated drink with a napkin. "I couldn't find the right moment to tell you, so i decided to let you speak while i watched your drinks."

insults at yourself begin to swirl in your head. how could you be so oblivious to it happening right in front of you? yeosang just stumbled upon it on his night out. if he wasn't here… you could only guess what would happen.

"is he still here?" your voice is lower now. body rigged.

yeosang pauses for a moment, before nodding. "yes. but he hasn't approached you since i've been lingering around you."

is it wrong of you to ask for him to stay?

"i won't leave until i know you're safe," he acknowledges the worried look in your eyes, a small smile gracing his lips. "we don't know each other well, but i'll keep my distance. if you don't mind it, of course. this situation is uncomfortable enough. i can leave you–"

"no!" your voice comes out louder than you'd like, your face warming briefly. "no. i want you to stay. if that's okay with you."

he nods. "it is."

the police arrive quickly, yeosang helping them identify and apprehend the suspect. he never leaves your side throughout the whole process, piecing things together that you haven't noticed at all. he keeps the same calm demeanor as before, giving the officers as much information as he can. you're more than grateful for his presence, soothing the long night you've had. eventually though, the police leave with the man.

the quiet air surrounding the bar is a bit unsettling now, knowing what you could have suffered. the two words you've wished to say to him throughout this ordeal are stuck in your throat. is it nerves? maybe. you were just never good with things like this. but still, he saved you. he didn't need to, but he did.

the thought makes the words come easier.

"thank you."

"not necessary," he waves you off easily. "anyone would have done something if they saw."

"but no one saw except for you. so i’m more than grateful. i don't know how to repay you–"

he shakes his head again. "no repayment. nothing. i've settled my thoughts now knowing you're safe. i do want to say something though. it may be overstepping my position as a little more than a stranger, but i do hope you stray away from the alcohol tonight. you're drunk, and it… may bother me a bit, knowing you're here alone."

the words of a stranger shouldn't make your chest float.

"alright."

time passes by fast as yeosang stands with you outside, the two of you watching the perpetrator being placed in handcuffs. though the police asked if you would like to ride with them and you explicitly stated no, yeosang offered to help you to the police station. pressing charges against a stranger on a night like this is the last thing you want to do, but having him attempt to do this to another innocent person would riddle you with guilt. you’re quiet throughout the small diatribe that the officer gives you, that overwhelming feeling again settling within you.

“must she go?” yeosang asks the officer, glancing over at you. “i was the one who witnessed it. there isn’t much for her to say other than she ordered a drink.”

“is that so? then are you willing to come instead?”

“of course. i’ll follow after you.”

the police officer thanks him again before leaving, disappearing into the oddly quiet night. yeosang looks you over, concerned. “would you like me to walk you to the train station?”

“that’s not necessary,” you say quickly. “it’s only a block or so away.”

he nods again. “well, please stay safe. don't,” he pauses, looking away. “don't follow strangers around. you seem to be sober enough, but still.”

“worried?” you ask, a bit cheeky.

“i am.”

there is no teasing in his voice, jaw tightening as he looks at you. conflicting emotions cross his gaze. you're not sure what to think of it yourself.

“you’re a stranger you know.”

he sighs, “i am.”

“can i have your phone number?” you ask. “just to let you know when i'm home safe. so you don't have to worry. and you can give it to the police if they need it.”

his smile is cheeky, the plush of his cheeks lifting. it makes the hard angles of his face softer, eyes rounder. you aren’t one to call men adorable, but there’s no other description you could think of. he digs into his jacket pocket, a sleek black phone appearing in his hands. without a response, he holds it out to you. you quickly type in your number underneath his quiet gaze, texting yourself. once confirming, you hand it back to him.

he stares at it for a moment, then hums. “perfect. don't forget about messaging me, y/n.” he tilts his head slightly, bowing. you do the same back, giving him one last glance before heading to the station. the itch of not looking back irks you, but you do so anyway. unfortunately in those brief seconds, he had already left the front of the bar. hm.

he must walk pretty fast.

–

you don’t message him.

it’s not like you promised the man that you’d do it, it was merely a suggestion. and he has your contact information, he can reach out if he'd like. once you arrived home that night you came to your senses. one - speaking to strangers about your personal problems should be saved for therapy - and two - you should not give said strangers your personal information after trauma dumping. the thought of you crying your heart out to him is embarrassing enough, you’re only glad you were too intoxicated to realize how embarrassing it was. sobriety may be in your future.

you push the cart down the tight aisle, careful not to push it into one of the shelves. you’ve left your job since telling seonghwa. but books have always been a home for you, so it took a bit, but you were able to find another small library placement not too far from your apartment. it didn’t pay as well since your position was based on seniority, but it’s enough for you to be comfortable.

you stop in one aisle, glancing down at the book in your hand before looking ahead. it is just your luck that you see the man of the hour.

he holds an identical copy in his hands, sunglasses tucked in his hair, resting on the top of his head. prescription glasses - this is your assumption - on the brim of his nose as he reads. his blond hair is as alluring as that night, the redness of his birthmark seen behind a few strands. his clothing is lightweight aside from the open brown trench coat; collared cotton button up, pleated pants, white shoes. a simple outfit and yet he stands out amongst the rest. your mind wasn’t making things up - his beauty is beyond what you can comprehend, just like your old best friend’s. hands flip through the book, lips slightly curved as he skims the pages. his soft brown eyes look up from his reading, meeting yours. you hope that he does not remember you, but recognition flashes in his gaze, cheeks lifting as he smiles. he lifts the glasses off his face, slipping them into the lining of his coat.

“it seems that you have gotten home well,” is the first thing that leaves yeosang’s mouth, book shutting. he places it back in its spot.

“i did,” there is no use lying to him that you couldn’t remember. the stillness of your body alone is enough for him to see the guilt hanging around you. “i’m sorry i didn’t let you know.”

“you had no obligation to a stranger,” he shrugs. “it would have been nice, but i didn’t expect much.”

“still, i should have said something,” you step closer to him, placing the book on the shelf. how awful that he smells really good too. sickening, even. “i was too scared to. after that night.”

his brows furrow, “scared? did i do something to upset you? or did someone else bother you?”

“no no,” you say quickly. “scared was a bad word to choose. maybe, embarrassed? i mean, i can’t believe i spilled my guts to a man that sat next to me at a bar on a random night,” you can feel your face warming. “i don’t think i’ll ever live it down.”

he smiles, shaking his head. “i told you it didn’t bother me. and i was glad to be your comfort, stranger or not. are you alright?”

he is still caring, even after you’ve decided not to message him. you nod, holding the book between your sweaty palms, “i am.”

“then all is well,” he steps around you. the wool of his coat brushes against your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. his perfume stuns you for a brief moment, grip tightening on the book. he glances at the shelves, before stepping out the aisle. you cannot help but think this may be your last chance of running into him — you’re not sure what reason you have to keep him around you for a while longer. but you step out the aisle, mouth ready to call out to him.

instead, your body almost collides with his, his hands wrapping around your upper arms to steady you. the touch is brief, though your stomach twists at his touch. he’s a bit cold, letting go once he sees you adjust yourself. he tucks a stray hair away from his face, cheeks lifted in a smile.

“this may be presumptuous of me, and i didn’t want to make any suggestions that night because of the situation. and i know you’re in a bad spot right now and it may not be a good time, but…” he clears his throat. “would you like to hang out? not a bar, not drinking. but a cafe maybe?”

your smile matches his, “yes.”

his small smile is endearing as he nods, looking away from you. “great.”

“good.”

he laughs, “seems like we’re both not good at this.”

“not at all. but at least we’re not good together.”

though he does not blush, his lips tremble, eyes scattering across your face as you say the words. perhaps he does not blush at all, but you can tell your words flustered him. he licks his lips, “i’ll message you, i’m free tonight.”

“so am i.”

“then it’s a date.”

he holds out his hand, and you take it, ready to shake. instead he lifts yours, his lips lightly brushing against the back of it. “a date.”

—

the air is calming between the two of you. shy glances back and forth, your fingers playing with the lining of your shirt, his dragging along the thin layer of shirt he wears. he is not cold, he told you this several times. his laugh echoes around the small cafe, cheeks lifting when he notices how loud he is. neither of you say much but it is plenty enough. he makes you forget about your heartache, your hurt. he shines rather brightly in the low light. you haven’t the need to focus on him fully, his presence effortless in comforting your heart. it is equally enjoyable and terrifying all at once. who would have though that after several dates you’d still feel terribly shy in front of him.

“can i see you again?” you ask after a moment of quiet laughter. it is something silly you’ve asked each time you’ve met up. it’s become a routine now, his smile too hard to resist each time you utter the words.

he takes a sip of his coffee. black. not something you’d choose for yourself, but he seems to enjoy it. it’s his second already. “of course. i hoped you would ask,” he admits jokingly, fingers pushing his hair away from his face. “i do enjoy being around you.”

“flattery only gets you so far,” you frown, though it is anything but irritation.

“it is only the truth,” he shrugs.

if your face could turn red it would at his words, it would. your lips enclose around the metal straw, its cool temperature soothing. “have you had any partners recently?”

he shakes his head, “not in a long time. relationships were never something i considered.”

oh.

you try not to show how that affects you, but it seems to be spelled out in the expression you make. he continues speaking.

“but i think i’ve changed my mind rather recently,” he adds, avoiding your gaze completely. “and if that person is still… mending themselves, i am willing to wait.”

“even if it is long? what if it’s years?” there is no teasing in your tone, now. you are undoubtedly serious. you enjoy yeosang, you enjoy him being around you. but you wouldn’t ever want to hold him back from something he wants. no matter how much it’d hurt you - that devastation you felt yourself was enough. having the kind man in front of you experience even a fraction of what you have felt is terrible to fathom.

“love,” his hand reaches out, covering yours. though he insists that he’s not cold, you can feel it on his skin. but the word that he’s just said, let slip from his lips. love.

he called you love.

“i will wait for you,” he does not look away from you. “i will wait years if i have to.”

“yeosang, we’ve known each other for only a few months,” you shake your head, “it’s ridiculous to hold yourself back from someone you barely know.”

his fingers wrap around yours, humming, “right? i, i’ve met so many people in my life. but relationships were something i just did not desire. but,” he laughs. “your presence might have changed it all for me.”

you could only giggle, placing your free hand against your face, holding in your embarrassment. you are not one to declare your feelings as forward as he could. after a couple of seconds of letting his words sink in, you look back at him. his gaze is so clearly unswayed, held tilted barely as it rests on his hand.

“okay.”

“okay?” his brow raises.

“okay, i’m okay with that.”

his smile only grows, “so am i.”

though the two of you have never uttered that you were partners, you are exclusively seeing one another in a sense. he often rested at your place – on the couch, never in your room. you never went inside his place, though you’ve seen the outside of it. a tall building, one in a district you’ve avoided your whole life. yeosang never bragged about how much money he earned, but he told you that he was wealthy. enough so that he only traveled once or twice a month for work. he said it was business but again, didn’t elaborate. at the time you should have questioned him more about it but he changed the subject before your mind could truly settle on it.

and one night, out of the blue, he invites you to his place. you decided to go to the convenience store just before, stepping inside the well-lit area, scanning the ramyeon shelves. a startled oh pulls your attention away from the assortment, looking to your side.

if it were possible for a heart to physically shatter, this moment would be it. choi san stands there, eyes wide, hands wrapped around a bag of chips. he looks nervous and worried, glancing back then looking at you. your smile is strained. you grab whatever is in reach, turning down the aisle and going to the register. the employee greets you but you can’t muster a response, hand gripping the curve of the counter. thoughts elsewhere.

you never thought you’d run into any of them ever again, especially since hongjoong told you yourself that no one really ventured in this neighborhood. you wish he were here now to distract you from your inner turmoil. you thank the employee with your eyes, not bothering to look around and exiting the store.

“y/n, please wait!”

you hear his voice behind you. running would be silly, and you’re an adult right? dealing with your issues in person, rather than running from them. that’s what you’re supposed to do. so despite the sorrow and hurt that is merely simmering at the surface, you look at san. he looks as handsome as he always does, though his eyes are moist now, hands wrapped around his bag. he stops once he sees you turned around.

“hi, san.” you say, “i have somewhere to be–”

“i didn’t think it through,” he starts promptly, not bothering to greet you properly. “i thought it was just another hookup, y/n. fuck, i mean, i didn't know he liked me like that. or had feelings that were more than just wanting to fuck. everyone around that place knows how i am, i just," san sighs loudly. his fingers trembled as he pushed them through his hair. "seonghwa is a good guy. one of the best i know. i'd never break his heart on purpose. i didn't know what to do anymore. i wanted to tell you what i felt so i was going to. and then you left the place entirely so i couldn't even talk to you about it and–"

"i don't blame you, san," you say softly, noticing his spiral. "i don't think he blames you either. he takes stuff like this hard, that's all. seonghwa doesn't hate you, he doesn't hate anyone. but i doubt you'd be the same if the person you like rejects you. it takes a while to get back to yourself. this is him taking that time."

he rubs his face, nodding at your words. "you think so?"

"we were best friends for longer than i can count. i know– knew, him better than i know myself. i'm more than sure."

“i didn’t know you had a thing for him, y/n. i said it at the time because i didn't know how to let him down easy. i really didn't know it was true.”

there it is. the conversation you’ve avoided for months now. the heartbreak that you’ve hidden so deeply inside of you. yeosang never mentioned it and neither did you. but seeing san, knowing that his hookup with seonghwa is what started it all. it’s not his fault, but seeing him again now, in front of you, makes it harder. you rub your face, closing your eyes.

“i didn’t know either, san. but it’s been a long time since it happened. we shouldn’t let something so long ago bother us now. i’m okay.”

relief seems to sink into him, “i’m sorry. and i’m sorry for telling him, it was shitty of me.”

“it’s okay, you don’t need to apologize. things happen. but i’m okay now. it’s okay.”

“right, you are,” his gaze flicks to how your hand trembles as you hold your bag. “there’s so much more to say, but i don’t want to hold you up any longer. you probably have somewhere to be.”

“i do, but thank you,” you pause. “thank you for stopping me too. i hope you’re well. i hope you and everyone else at the place are healthy. send them my greetings.”

“i will,” he smiles, dimples intending his cheeks. san has always been a kind man. you’ve never had any ill will towards him, he just ended up in the middle of it all. “i’m sure seonghwa would like to hear that.”

–

your hair sticks to your forehead. makeup trickles down your cheeks, staining your shirt. your plastic bag grew too heavy for you to hold, sitting on the side of you as you stare out into the streets. you haven’t moved from the front of the market.

your phone ran out of charge long ago, tucked inside your bag. you tried to grab it, knowing that yeosang probably called, but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer. the incident with seonghwa was months ago, it was so long ago. you shouldn’t be this upset.

you shouldn’t be this hurt.

hearing his name after such a long time, you thought you’d be okay. you thought that you would handle it easily. but his name, along with seeing san? it was all too much.

is there something wrong with you? he didn’t die, he’s probably living well without you. and yet you mourn. your tears hidden beneath the rain, body shivering. you should try to get to yeosang. let him know you’re okay.

you should do that.

you look down at the sidewalk beneath you. people walk past. some have glanced at you, but none have pulled you from this. what is this? why can’t you describe it?

you’re cold.

“hey.”

you barely look up from where you are. an older man stands there, vaguely familiar. you think back for a moment – ah, the employee in the store. mustering up words is just too much effort now. so you meekly nod, water splattering against your face. his hand touches your shoulder and you tense up.

“a pretty woman like you shouldn't be out here alone.”

your lips tremble, nudging his hand away. he only tightens his grip, your eyes widening. your chest tightens, body unwilling to move. you've never been in such a situation, filled with too much fear to force your mind out of its despair. just as he begins to lean down, a loud sound fills your ears. you close your eyes, the ringing harsh against your temple. enough so that it consumes your thoughts.

you should call him.

the hum of a car stops in front of you. the door slamming should have startled you, but you’ve grown too numb from the sound to react. you feel those familiar cold hands on your cheeks. it’s enough for you to look up. the mark looks darker in this low light, brown against his temple, fading into the curve of his eyes. his thumbs rub your cheeks, eyes flicking between yours. neither of you say a word, but you feel how he pulls you into his chest. you cannot remember when the sobs began. but they engulf you, hands finally able to move, arms wrapped around his body as he pulls you into him. you’re too overwhelmed to say anything, but you hear him. you hear his words.

i’m here for you.

i know, i know.

it hurts a lot, i know.

let’s get you somewhere warm.

–

you sit on his sofa. he’s given you his clothing to change into, an older pair of sweats and sweater. he hasn’t touched you since bringing you back to his place, careful to avoid your skin. a cup of steaming medicinal tea sits on the small coffee table, cookies you love next to it. your eyes flick to the screen, television playing your favorite cartoon.

yeosang does not say a word as he cooks in the kitchen, humming every once in a while. he has not broken the silence and neither have you. your heart has settled down a bit, enough for you to speak. are you scared to start? yes. yeosang has never been once to pry, always allowing you your own space to say what you wanted. it’s something you’ve admired since you’ve met him. there was never any pushing from him. he let you open up yourself.

“it was san,” your voice is low. you’re afraid that he has not heard you at all, but his humming stops.

“the hookup?”

you thank him silently for his good memory. “yes. he… we ran into each other inside that convenience store. he said sorry for everything. then he said his name, and i…”

you couldn’t breathe.

“it hurt.”

“it did,” you murmur. “i thought it’d be fine, speaking to him. since it’s been so long, i thought i’d be fine. but i wasn’t, yeosang. it felt like the first day that i told seonghwa to never speak to me again. it just felt like too much.”

“you have yet to mourn what you’ve lost, love,” yeosang enters the living room, sitting on the couch across from you. “it will hurt for a while even if you’ve accepted that he was no longer in your life. he’s your best friend.”

“was,” you correct. yeosang doesn’t comment on that, continuing.

“it will take time.”

you hide your face, sighing. “and i’ve only just opened myself up to you because i was afraid of my hurt. i cannot believe i let you see me that way.”

“you know that that doesn't bother me. we care for each other, y/n. i hope that we can see each other at our best and at our worst.”

“that’s the thing,” you look up. “you’ve been seeing me at my worst this whole time, you haven’t even seen me at my best and yet you’ve stayed.”

yeosang looks at you, hand resting on his knee. he closes his eyes for a moment, breathing slowly. “that is because i haven’t told you all of what i’ve been dealt, y/n.”

you can feel that ill feeling slowly come back. he seems to sense it, quickly speaking.

“it is nothing against you, that i assure you. but this might not be the best time to say anything more. you are still hurt. i’d rather you not be overwhelmed with it all.”

“are you a criminal or something?” you joke, though there is a bit of curiosity within the jab. yeosang has not shown you anything negative so you cannot quite guess what he’s hiding. you haven’t seen his family yet or friends, so maybe it’s that? letting your mind wander will only make it worse.

“no.”

“yeosang–”

"i’m a vampire."

"and i am a fairy," you snort, rolling your eyes. yeosang thinks for a moment, eyes flicking over yours.

"i'd believe it since your beauty matches one of the fae, but your personality does not. there's not a conniving cell in your body, love."

“you’re joking,” your brows furrow, staring at him. he does not give you the usual small smile, nor does he laugh at your confusion. no, all he does is stare at you, waiting for a response. you can only look at him, eyes flicking over his face. oh, you’ve fallen for a man who lost his mind, then?

your luck just seems to continuously run out.

“you look like you’re going to run,” he says, attempting to reach you. you move away, and he does not try to chase you. he observes you as you stand from your spot, body tensing the more you look at him.

his beauty has always been something you’ve noticed, something that’s occupied your mind more times than not. but you’ve seen him eating, seen him drink coffee and swallow slices of pizza with you. from what you’ve learned of vampires (via various forms of media), they cannot stomach human food.

“how?”

he shrugs, “it has been a millennia, y/n, and i still don’t have the answer to that.”

“i mean,” you wave your hands around. “you’ve eaten food with me, you’ve had drinks with me. you’ve done all of that, and not once have i seen you drink blood.” your stomach turns at the thought. “yeosang, you’re joking with me, right? this is just a weird test or something?”

“what would i be testing on you, love?”

“i don’t know–”

“y/n, listen to me carefully.” he still does not move from his spot, but his eyes meet yours, his lips trembling slightly. “i was born as a vampire. i was not turned into this creature. i have met several of my kind over the centuries. most of us avoid one another since we are not really friendly. we stay on our own most of our lives. there may be times where you see one or two together, but rarely more than that. i am alone,” he says slowly. “i have not told a human soul what i am since i was a child. you are the only one who knows, on this earth.”

“because people would think you’re out of your mind?”

“that,” he agrees. “and because i am rare, one of less than a hundred. and humans are fond of dissecting things they do not understand. though my life has been long, i have still a lot of it left. i’d rather not die early.”

his words are just unreal. no matter how he explains it to you, you just cannot accept them as true. he seems to know that as well, sighing softly. “you do not believe me?”

“i believe that you think that’s what you are. have you ever seen a doctor for your condition?”

“y/n, as i have told you–”

“right,” you nod slowly. “the whole i’m-the-only-human-who-knows thing.”

“would you like me to prove it to you?" he does not wait for an answer, standing up from his spot and walking off. you do not follow, eyes widening when you see him come back with a knife in his hand. he sits down at the coffee table, legs folded. “this is the only way you’d believe me.”

“yeosang, i believe you,” you watch as he lifts the knife. “yeosang!”

his eyes meet yours briefly, smiling, “don’t worry.” he drops it, the chopping sound echoing around you. you scream, hands rushing to cover your eyes. the sound is horrid, there is no description of how the slicing of flesh resonates. the metal clings as it hits the floor. there is no howl of pain, no sound of him falling to the floor with the knife. nothing at all. you’re terrified to open your hands and see what he’s done.

“you have to look quickly before it heals, y/n,” he says softly. “please, do this one thing for me.”

“i swear, yeosang,” you hesitantly look at him, flinching once you see what’s in front of you. there are no splatters of blood. his hand is not on his wrist at all. but what you do see, oh, it’s indescribable. his amputated hand slowly slides back to his wrist stump. the sound is like bones cracking as it attaches itself. the two of you watch, skin sinking into each other, smoothing over until it appears that nothing has happened at all.

you’re stunned.

“you are all i can trust,” he says, wiggling his fingers. “this might be a lot to take in but–”

you raise your hand, “hold on.”

as moronous his confession is, it makes sense, oddly. sure, there’s no possible explanation for how he could possibly chop off his wrist, especially without as much as a scream from him. but what is his purpose - has he planned this all to entrap you? you care for him dearly, possibly love him. is this his goal all along, have you involved enough so you’re unable to leave his side? unable to make rational decisions? you from months ago would have ran out the room from a confession like this, but you just cannot. you look at your yeosang sitting on the floor, waiting for you to speak. he has not moved ever since you have, has not attempted to stop you from going anywhere. you’ve even tested it, taking a slight step back. still, not a muscle twitches.

there are several conclusions you can come to, but one is certain - yeosang at least believes that he’s a vampire. and that should utterly terrify you. but he is still your yeosang, even if he indulges in blood once in a while. and he just chopped off his hand.

for fucks sake, are you that desperate for human connection that you'll hang around a blood drinker?

are you mad?

“y/n?” he interrupts the quiet. “you can leave if you want to. i won’t stop you if this is too much.”

that’s your yeosang, ever so caring, ever so thoughtful.

“you’re not lying?” you ask again. “you’re a vampire?”

“yes.”

“a good one?”

his lip twitches, “that's subjective, but i try to be.”

“why are you telling me now?”

he looks away from you for the first time tonight, gaze out the windows. you haven’t had the chance to look around his place because you’ve been too stuck in your sorrow, but it is him. a penthouse, but him. the city looks into the apartment as he begins.

“after seeing you so destroyed tonight, i couldn’t let myself go another day without saying it. i should have told you so long ago, but i didn’t know how involved we’d be. i thought it would be a short time we’d see each other. but i enjoy being around you. there has not gone a day since we’ve met each other at that bar that i haven’t thought of you. and it is utterly terrifying. so hiding this secret from you… i could no longer do it. i needed to know that you were not scared of me before continuing to be around you.”

“how do you know i’m not afraid?”

his smile is small, not reaching his eyes. “i have seen true terror in my lifetime, y/n. i know it when i see it.”

“if i decided i didn’t want to be this with you? what then?”

“it would be hard, but i would let you go, y/n. you’re not trapped here, you’ll never be,” he rubs his face. “do you hear me, truly? you can leave now and never come back, and that would be the end of us.”

you don’t want this to end. in fact, the mere thought of never seeing yeosang again makes you ill. you care too much for him to just go, even with information like this. so, he’s a vampire. he drinks blood. there could be worse things, no?

you cannot even believe your own thoughts.

“this is fine,” you say aloud, nodding slowly. you think back to when you were outside of the store, when that older man began to bother you. you look at yeosang. he came within seconds of that happening, barely a minute passed. it wasn’t him who helped you, was it?

“did you hurt that old man?”

yeosang stares at you, eyes flicking between the two of yours. “no.”

“are you lying?”

“i did not hurt him, y/n. i grabbed him, yes, and pulled him away from you. i told him to never touch you again, to never touch anyone else again, or else i would hurt him,” he looks down at his hands. “i wanted to kill him, if you were going to ask that next. i wanted to very badly, but i didn’t. you needed me, and i couldn’t let anyone distract me from that.”

you believe him. despite the strange circumstances, you do. you take a step closer to him, his movements frozen. your hand reaches for his, the obvious cool temperature of his making more sense now. “thank you.”

he lifts your hand, lips pressing against the surface. “you’re welcome.”

things changed after that.

neither you nor yeosang bring up anything that occurred that night. he does not press you about san and you don’t bring it up at all. things have progressed slightly. his tenderness is never ending; hands caressing the soft skin of your hips, lips brushing against your neck and collarbone. there’s a bit of excitement when he does that as well – knowing his true nature. he hasn’t hinted that he wants to feed off of you. you know it is due to your fear, deep down. he drinks from blood bags stored in his freezer, heating them up in the microwave. he avoids you entirely as he does so, brushing his teeth and washing himself before settling in the same room with you again. you’ve told him he didn’t need to do anything like that, that you care for him as he is, but he confessed that it’s difficult for him to be around you after drinking, bloodlust at the surface. and he’d rather you not see him that way.

“alarmingly disturbing,” he notes, nose wrinkling at the movie poster. you merely roll your eyes, passing him his small cup of soda as you walk through the outdoor mall.

“i’m sure i saw you cry at the end.”

his eyes widen, “i cannot cry, you know that well.”

“yeah yeah.”

you insisted on him going with you after his confession that he’s never entered a theater. it is magical to be with someone when they’re doing something they’ve never done before. his soft eyes widening at the large screen, words mumbled into your ear at certain scenes. his hand still hasn’t left yours after it ended.

his fingers tighten around yours as he points at the decorations, “it’s the middle of january and yet the decor is still up from the holidays. i never celebrated much but,” he takes a sip of his soda. “it is heartwarming.”

“remind you of the movie?” you grin, and he only frowns. you laugh, nudging him slightly. “it was a pretty somber ending, i know.”

“they both followed different paths, but they met each other again. i…” he sighs. “i know it’s supposed to reflect a realistic path, but they could have been together. they both wanted it.”

“some things don’t work out even if they do want each other.”

his gaze slides to yours, and your smile slips slightly, already suspecting where his thoughts lie. you look away from him, “don’t give me that look.”

“what look?” his voice is smaller this time.

“you know what look i’m talking about.”

“y/n…”

“i can’t, not right now.”

“i’m not pushing you to say anything, you know that.”

“i know.”

“but i want you to settle your feelings. it’s not good to keep it all inside of you,” he stops walking, straw away from his mouth. his brows furrowed in concentration, thinking. “i cannot believe i’m about to say this.”

“yeosang…”

his fingers loosen slightly, but he does not let go. “i fear that my love for you is much more than what should be allowed,” his eyes are moist, unable to leave yours. “surrendering myself to you is a choice i have made, but it is quite mad, is it not? committing my heart to you without knowing what you feel about me. i know you like me, i know that. you wouldn’t let me be around you otherwise. i have now trusted you with my secret, with all of these things, and not once have i felt fearful of you telling someone. the only fear i've felt is losing you.” he shakes his head slowly. “you are a human. i have fallen for a human. a human who is heartbroken over a love that she has lost. i know this, and i stand here telling you that i love you. is it not stupid?”

it is not a question for you to answer, rhetorical even, but you decide to respond. “it’s a bit stupid.”

he laughs dryly. “it is.”

“but you have done it anyway. it’s stupid, but maybe even idiotic,” you go on, his expression worsening at your words. “you know what is even more stupid? me, watching you struggle to confess in front of me and not admitting that i feel the same way for you.” his eyes widened. you swallow slowly, blinking slowly. “we shouldn’t love each other this way, yeosang. not after that night, not after me breaking down from hearing seonghwa’s name.”

“we shouldn’t, love.”

“but we do anyway,” you smile. “stupid.”

“completely.”

his gaze settles on yours, before flicking down to your lips. your breath hitches at the glance, until he looks away. “i must warm up the car before you enter, i can be back quickly,” just as he is about to step away from you, you grab his arm. he does not move, even as you move closer.

“can we…”

his body trembles at your hand against the skin of his neck. “y/n…”

“it will be quick.”

his resolve is breaking the longer he looks down at you. his hand reaches up, pulling your face closer to his. "i would love to, y/n. but your heart still belongs to him, even if it’s small," he whispers, a breath away from your lips. he feels how your breath hitches, how your hold on him loosens. he would have pulled away but he knows you need this. knows you need to hear what he has to say. "i know you're still in love with him, y/n. pushing it deeper and deeper will only make it worse when you see him again. don't pretend in front of me, please."

you move your face away, eyes moving to his. you expected hurt, anger, sorrow. regret, even. but nothing like that meets your gaze. empathy. brows furrowed, lips parted. his thumb brushes against your cheek, wiping away a tear that falls.

oh, you're crying.

you touch your cheek, swallowing slowly. "i thought it would go away."

"if only that were so easy," his face relaxes. "you have to go see him again."

"i can't do that."

"he's your best friend."

"was," you correct once more. "he was my best friend. then i pushed him away because i was afraid. i let my phone ring until i blocked his number because he wouldn't stop calling. i let him move on, yeosang. i let him go."

he presses his forehead against yours. you welcome the cool temperature of his skin, shivering slightly. "that's not letting him go. that's removing him from your life with force. he never wanted to leave your side."

"you don't know anything."

"i've seen seonghwa, pretty."

you still. “what?”

"i saw him not too long after meeting you. he was broken," he admits. you've known him long enough to tell when he's choosing his words carefully. for your benefit. "he was with a friend crying at the bar. weeping. his body shook. i didn't know who he was at the time, but it looked as if he was struck by grief. i planned on walking over to confront him, perhaps take away some of his burden, but then i heard your name slip from his lips. i've lived long enough not to believe in coincidences. he was sobbing your name. a man sobbing another's name with such raw emotion could not be angry with you. he was mourning the relationship the two of you had. i know i may be overstepping, but please see him. just one time, speak to him. i need you to."

no.

san saying his name in front of you tonight was enough to stun you. seeing seonghwa again… you cannot.

you won’t.

“no.”

his hand leaves your face. he presses a light kiss to your temple, your eyelids fluttering at the contact. in typical yeosang fashion, he says, “okay, pretty.” he makes sure you’re looking at him when he smiles, squeezing your hand as he pulls you along with him. his humming fills the silence as you walk, as if nothing happened.

you cannot help yourself.

“yeosang, you’re not upset? about any of this?”

"why would i be?” his brow raises.

you’re not sure how to answer that.

he continues, “i am yours, y/n. that is why i am so persistent on you seeing him. i don't want you to live in regret being with me when the man you also love is not too far away."

"i don't want to leave you." and it's true. you've spent the last few months with him, by his side. having him ripped away would only make your mental condition worsen. yes, you shouldn't depend on another's presence for comfort so deeply and you're learning slowly not to, but leaving him now will only make it worse. you love him without ever uttering the words. you love him more than you can describe. "i can't leave you."

"listen to my words carefully, love," he stops moving, looking up at you. "i am not leaving you. i will never dream of it. i am in love with you, y/n. i've never said it before tonight i know, but i am. and i do not plan on ever leaving your side unless you want me to, understand? so i don't mind, if something happens between you and seonghwa, i don't mind it."

“nothing is going to happen.”

he nods slowly, “alright. shall we go?” he gestures to the guards in front of you, the sounds of stores dropping their gates and locking their doors. “we’ll discuss this more at a later time. i can make you something when we get back.”

that night is the last time he has ever pushed you, though slightly, into confessing your feelings to seonghwa, and your apology. hongjoong is elated when you tell him of your new relationship status, though you could see the slight worry dwelling as well. he knows as well as yeosang how badly your heart is hurt. you trust yeosang not to hurt you - he has never done anything remotely close to battering it. but that’s not what they’re both worried about.

his words linger. the two of you flourish in your relationship, though he has never once let his lips touch yours. you’re not sure if it’s his gentle nature or if he does not want to touch you that way until you’ve settled your feelings, but it does sting a bit. each time you initiate he turns his cheek for your touch to be placed there.

the intimacy avoidance just continues to grow.

after one of his after-feeding showers, you sit at his counter. head resting on your folded hands, watching the world just outside this apartment. too consumed in your own thoughts. you don’t bother leaning into his touch when his lips kiss the back of your neck. thumb rubbing the back of your arm. you don’t flinch at all, that in itself is concerning enough for yeosang to stop at the fridge.

“y/n? are you alright?”

“fine.”

he closes the fridge, moving around the counter to stand in front of you. he wears a loose graphic tee you’ve gifted him, his sweatpants that you wore that night covering his legs. his head tilts. you’ve always found that habit of his endearing, but right now you’re too annoyed and frustrated to have it affect you. his frown deepens when you don’t meet his eyes.

“pretty girl.”

those words almost get you. you close your eyes now, moving your head to rest on your hands instead, face hidden. “fine, yeo.”

the guilt of this situation begins to riddle within you. there is no obligation for him to do anything with you and you’d never force the situation, but your own desires are sitting at the surface. yeosang walks around the table, his hand brushing over your skin, draping himself over your hunched over body, it’s comforting, his sweet scent wrapping around you. you feel the brush of his nose against the back of your ear, breath tickling your skin. you tense.

yeosang stops, though he does not let you go. “you’re upset with me?”

“i’m not.”

“i can’t read your mind, but i can tell when something’s up, y/n. did i do something?”

“yeosang,” you sigh, body trembling when you feel the brush of his lips on your earlobe. unable to take the closeness without your mind wandering elsewhere, your chair slides harshly against the tiles. you stand up and move away from him, fists tucked to your sides. his brow furrows as he looks at you, head tilting. “i can’t concentrate when you’re that close.”

“okay, that's fine. but we can’t move forward if you don’t tell me what’s upsetting you,” he takes the spot you were once in, sitting on the edge of the stool. his legs are apart, fabric tight against his thighs. leaving nothing to the imagination.

oh how your suffering continues.

“are we moving too fast?” he asks after a moment. “should we take a moment to think this through?”

“no!” your voice is louder than you’d like, the teasing of a grin on his lips. “no, we don’t need to go slower than we already are.” you stop, sighing. “i don’t know how to say it.”

“you want me,” he says simply, taking a sip of your water. “since you said ‘slower than we already are’, you want us to take a larger step in our relationship. am i correct?”

flustered at his quickness, you nod. he hums, thumb rubbing the condensation of the small glass cup. your gaze follows his movements, room temperature increasing by the second. you only look away when yeosang speaks up again.

“it’s not like i don’t want you, pretty,” he places the glass on the countertop, looking at you. “do you know how difficult it is for me to not touch you? i am a predator, my smell is heightened. everytime i’m in a room with you all i smell is you, all i want is you,” he says simply, laughing at the expression forming on your face. “it’s not all i think about, but it’s very prominent in my mind.”

“then what’s wrong?”

his smile wavers, “you know what’s wrong, pretty girl. i said it when we confessed to each other. i need you to speak to him again.”

“yeosang, i told you how i felt.”

“i know, and i accepted your choice. but i just,” a long exhale escapes his lips. “i want you so badly, so desperately, but i cannot move forward until you settle your own feelings with seonghwa. i don’t want you to think i’m forcing you to do anything because that’s not my intention at all. i’m sorry if the thought crossed your mind about me not wanting you sexually because i truly do. but you’re not fully here with me, y/n. and i fear you never will be unless you see him again. i don't want you to live with the regret of what could have been.”

you hate it. you hate that you want to accuse him of manipulating you into a conversation with seonghwa, though he is not forcing it upon you. you thought you could hide your feelings, thought that with time, you would no longer think of him because you have the man in front of you. but you have. you haven’t stopped thinking of him since you ran into san. it is like he’s embedded himself in your brain. you thought you’d be okay enough to move forward with yeosang, love him with everything you have, but you can’t. he’s right. it wouldn’t be fair to him if you let this feeling continue.

yeosang lets his words settle within you.

“okay.”

“okay?” his brow raises.

“i think i’m ready to talk to him.”

he looks at your eyes, nodding slowly. “it will be good for you.”

the question still lingers, though; what’ll be the outcome? what if seonghwa breaks you - what if he repairs you? what if at that moment, you forget about yeosang, forget about all of this? you can’t do that to him. you love him more than you can describe, but feelings can change in a moment.

“y/n.”

you’re not sure when he stood up, coming closer to you. he holds your head in his hands, eyes flicking between yours. “i love you too dearly for me to be upset if you left me for him.”

“how did you…”

oh. you definitely said that all out loud.

“i don’t want anything to happen,” you whisper. “something could happen.”

“it may. but i myself, i am not…” he thinks for a moment. “i wouldn’t mind opening this relationship for you, if your feelings match one another's.”

now this is something the both of you have never discussed. he picks up on the alarm in your expression, continuing. “i never really desired anyone like this before. i’ve fucked, yes, but relationships didn’t really happen for me. that is something i’ve glossed over a bit in the past,” he looks away. “my relationships consisted of me only having sex with another, but not really a partnership. nothing that i would consider to be a full blown relationship. but with you, i wouldn’t mind sharing you. you are too wonderful for me to ever deny your desires for humans. there are some things that i’ll never be able to give you,” his hand brushes against your cheek. “like warmth. and someone to grow old with, a child. i will remain this age and you won't.”

that thought lingered in your mind as you've spent time with him. being a vampire isn't something you want for yourself, even if you love yeosang dearly. you're not even sure how that process works because you didn't desire it so you never asked. but opening your relationship? you never thought about being polyamorous.

“this is confusing,” you murmur. he presses a kiss to your forehead. “i don't know yeosang, this is a lot to take in.”

“it is,” he agrees. “i'm here for you if there are any questions.”

the conversation turns away from seonghwa a bit as you have an open conversation with one another. yeosang explains how he does not really have a label for himself, living his immortal life with eyes open. you yourself have attraction to all sorts of people, fitting for how yeosang views himself. it is odd that though you two haven't spoken about it, you're so similar. he also explains that he does not see himself seeing anyone but you in your lifetime, and insists that he tell you if something changed. you aren't quite sure how you'll handle the seonghwa feelings, if he even considered your own after all this time. yeosang only assures you that whatever you decide he will accept, whether it be a polyamorous relationship, monogamous with either him or yeosang, or nothing at all. his acceptance is astonishing, but he only explains that his long life has told him not to worry about small things like this.

if only you could say the same.

yeosang does not make any sort of move towards you, holding you close as you sleep in his bed. the long day brings exhaustion to settle on your shoulders. soon enough, in the cool embrace of yeosang, you fall asleep.

—

the cold chill seeps into your wool coat. yeosang insisted that you wear your thickened sweater while you were out and about, but you ignored his worried gaze and told him you'd be back soon enough. but now that you stand outside the café, hands tucked into your pockets as you wait for it to open, you regret ever not listening to his advice. you can imagine him now, soft lips protruding from their usual small smile, nose flared and brows tight with concern. the mental image only makes your own lips lift.

“he was right about the temperature,” hongjoong's eyes peer between the thickened cotton scarf wrapped around his neck and forehead. he's covered completely from head to toe in clothing his partner made for him, rosy nose the only sliver of skin shown. it's endearing to see him loved this dearly, knowing that he's sought out someone for much longer than you have. he digs into his pocket, handing you his spare mittens and a heat packet. you thank him, slipping your hands into the soft material.

“think it's an immortal thing to predict the temperature?” he asks, whining when you lightly hit his calf with his boot. “what!”

“i told you not to speak of it in public,” you discussed it with yeosang about telling your best friend. he was a bit hesitant at first, but agreed. hongjoong believed it much easier than you had, nodding in content and murmuring something about yeosang being a bit too beautiful and kind for a human. it was ridiculous reasoning at the time, but you were glad he believed you. hiding it from him would have weighted on your mind.

“I barely said anything,” he shoots you a glare. “but seriously, you should have grabbed a scarf.”

“i didn't think they'd be closed at 8am on a saturday!”

“you should have checked,” hongjoong whines, stepping closer to you. he pulls you into his side, arm wrapped around your shoulder. it’s not enough to subside the freezing temperatures, but you find it endearing nonetheless. “i used to hate it when customers waited outside just before opening. started off my day wrong.”

“we can walk around or something,” you murmur, and he laughs, nudging you slightly.

“it’ll be fine, we’re not staying long anyway.” he looks around, his laugh disappearing swiftly. you look over your shoulder to see what's caught his attention, but he turns your body away, forcing you to look the opposite direction.

“joong, what the hell?”

“it's seonghwa.”

your throat tightens up. seonghwa? he's here? fear begins to climb in you. you haven't readied yourself to approach him. it was going to happen soon, but not now. not early morning, body shivering from the brisk air. not when you're still afraid to speak to him. hongjoong moves you further away from the store. you would thank him if you could.

“hongjoong?”

seonghwa's sweet voice carries through the air. hongjoong hesitates, looking at you. he does not say a word, but his eyes tell it all. should i ignore him? should i let you go and i speak to him alone? they're still friends, that you know. you encouraged hongjoong to stay friends with him, your hurt was never his. but now, here you stand. you can either face it, deal with it, or run away again. no one would scold you for it, protecting your feelings. but how much longer can you run?

you shake your head at his questioning eyes. he settles on you for another moment, before turning around. you follow his lead.

seonghwa is as beautiful as he always is. beanie pulled over his head and covering his ears, black hair barely peeking from beneath. glasses likely tucked away in his bag. he matches the gloomy morning, long navy coat, black boots. the slight flush of his cheeks due to the low temperature. he smiles, and your heart races. his gaze moves from hongjoong’s, shifting to you.

his eyes widen, flicking over your face. eyes, nose, lips, hat, body, eyes again. his lips part, a sigh leaving them. his brows furrow, hand clenching, then relaxing. you've seen this happen before. that day on the roof, the last time you saw him. the look in his eyes is different though. it is not filled with hurt. confusion, worry.

you’re not sure what emotion has settled in his gaze.

“birdie…?” his voice cracks, looking at hongjoong briefly. how that nickname almost breaks you completely.

“hwa,” your lips tremble, but you force them to smile anyway. “hi.”

“hey,” he drags the word, blinking quickly. “hi.”

“the café is open, i'll grab a few coffees,” hongjoong looks around seonghwa. “be right back, alright?” be looks between the both of you, before leaving. the air only thickens as you two stand here alone. your rub your fingers on the hot pack in your gloves, gaze on the ground.

“i didn't think i'd ever see you again,” he admits. “it's been a long time.”

“it really has,” you agree. awkward. you were never this awkward with him. the two of you walk around the issue, the uneasiness only growing. “i–”

“i'm–”

you speak simultaneously. his cheeks darken. “you can go first.”

“no, you. i’ve said plenty since we last spoke, didn't i?”

a smile appears, though it doesn't reach his eyes. another cloud leaves his lips as he sighs, hand tugging on the loose strap of his bag. “did i fuck up back then? did i hurt you so badly that you didn't want to deal with me anymore, birdie? is that why you wanted to leave me alone?”

how easily he lets the nickname roll off his tongue. as if it hasn’t been over half a year since you’ve seen each other. as if you didn’t remove him from your life. but no. you didn’t want to leave him. you never did.

you shake your head, “never. i couldn't handle it all, i couldn't handle the way you were looking at me. it was a lot.”

“how did i look at you?”

“like you pitied me. like you were about to tell me how you felt, and i,” you weren't ready to hear his rejection. “i was scared. i didn't think that my feelings for you would be told that way. i wasn't ready for it.”

“so you then decided that it was best that you never deal with it at all?” he frowns, brows furrowing. “you didn't let us talk it out, and you ran from me. you didn't let me say anything else.”

“i messed up. i was too insecure to hear what you had to say.”

“want to go to the park for a bit?” he gestures behind the two of you. you take out your phone, sending hongjoong a quick message that you’ll be gone for a while. he sends a thumbs up back. likely aware that this was going to happen anyway.

you two walk next to each other, your hands tucked in your pockets, rubbing the heat pack. seonghwa glances at you, worry about his features. he does not say it, probably due to the situation, but you can tell it’s at the tip of his tongue.

“you look cold.”

oh, so he does say it.

“i thought we’d be out here for a few minutes,” you admit. seonghwa’s lips lift slightly.

“you are always underprepared.”

“i really am,” you shake your head. you should have grabbed that coat like yeosang asked. the two of you walk a bit further, finally arriving at the park. it’s a place the two of you have spent plenty of time at on breaks or excursions, from children to adults. seonghwa wipes off the seat of a swing, gesturing for you to sit. you do, thanking him as he takes the spot next to you. the sun is peeking above the clouds now, temperature rising slowly.

"i didn't know how i felt until you were gone, birdie," his hands are wrapped around the chains of the swing, eyes glued to the snow beneath your feet. seonghwa always radiated confidence, sureness. it was rare that you've ever seen him so vulnerable. so afraid. it makes your heart ache knowing that though it was not entirely your fault, you cause some of his anxiousness. "i was too forward when we spoke about it. overwhelmed, i think. i was so heartbroken over san that i didn't take your feelings into consideration. i let my thoughts get to me. i made you close up, i made you run. and i can tell you're about to interrupt me but just let me say this okay birdie? give me this one thing."

you nod, holding back your words.

"i fucked up when i confronted you. you were right when i didn't want you to be. i let myself get lost in the attention of the guy that i liked. but i think, no, i know that losing you made me see what i've really lost. i lost my best friend, and the one person in this world that has been by me my whole life. i was blind, i think. wait, is that right to say?" He curses himself, taking another breath. "for fucks sake, i thought id practiced this enough to say it right but it just doesn't make sense."

he peeks through his covered face, eyes softening when they meet yours. "i'm in love with you, birdie."

you shake your head, blinking quickly. "you're–"

"i'm not letting you do that," he interrupts with swiftness. "i'm not letting you say that my feelings aren't real when i know they are. it's been months of me thinking about it. this isn't some sudden epiphany. you're not a rebound to me. i wouldn't do that to you, i care too much to even consider that. not that you have to accept my feelings," he adds in. "you can tell me to fuck off and i’ll do it. a little teary-eyed, but i’d still do it."

“seonghwa.”

“i just,” he swallows, “if you don’t want anything like that with me, it’s okay. i just can’t lose you again. it’ll take time, but i’ll move on if you don’t want me that way. we can still be best friends. or at least something. i just… i can’t lose you again.”

yeosang's declaration repeats in your head over and over as you decide how to respond. your heart and head are fighting one another. there's no doubt in your love for yeosang, not even slightly. and he was right – you still love seonghwa no matter how many times you try to push the feelings away. him confessing this to you now, how does that make you feel? and how will he react once you tell him about your partner now? not taking the leap now when you're so deep into it all will only lead to regret later. and you've done enough of that the past few months to last a lifetime.

"i’m still in love with you, seonghwa," you whisper. "i thought i would get over it but i haven't. it scared me how attached i am to you, especially after a while. maybe the years have caught up to me, i’m not sure. but i still love you."

he opens his mouth to speak but you hold out your hand, stopping him. "i can't continue this conversation though, without telling you."

his brows furrow. "tell me what?"

"during our time apart i met someone, hwa," you look at him, his face crumbling immediately at the information. "i met him and i fell in love with him. and i know it hasn't been that long but it's serious. i can't imagine my life without him now."

he nods slowly, "it was presumptuous of me to think you just stayed stagnant this whole time. im sorry–"

"wait, seonghwa. yeosang and i, well, he told me to come to you. he knows how i feel about you and thought i should see you in person again to figure things out. and he is so considerate of me and my feelings, as well as your own. i don't know how to say this," you swallow, closing your eyes as you say the next words. "he knows i’m in love with you and encouraged me to pursue you while still being in a relationship with him. he doesn't mind me loving you and him at the same time. do you understand what i’m saying, hwa?"

he nods slowly, "...yes."

"and as you just said, i don't want to be presumptuous and think that you would be okay with it because it's a lot for someone to consider. it was a lot for me to even think about because i would never want to hurt either of you. if we were to decide that we would like to continue on in a romantic sense, i’ll still be dating yeosang while we're together. and vice versa. i want you to think about what i said to you and consider it before anything else is said, okay?"

"what i decide?" he repeats.

"yes. and then we will take it from there, whatever you decide seonghwa. but i just want to let you know that i love yeosang too much to leave him, if your thoughts start moving in that direction. i'll never break his heart."

“i understand,” he says simply. he digs into his pocket, glancing down at his phone. “your phone number? it’s still the same?”

you nod, and he mimics the movement. he stands up from the swing, tucking his hands back into his pockets. “okay. i, just give me a few days, y/n? just some time to figure this all out.”

“that’s fine,” you smile, and he smiles back. you stand up from the swing and without another word he pulls you into him, hands wrapping around your torso. his body is trembling as you hold him back, his face tucked into the curve of your shoulder. as quick as he holds you he lets go, giving you one last look before leaving the park.

seonghwa doesn’t call for over two weeks.

it worries you - he did tell you that he’d contact you soon. it hurt that there isn’t as much of a greeting sent to you, but it makes sense. you confessed to him that you were in love with someone else and said that your partner was okay with it. that could confuse anyone. so despite the circumstances you hold out hope. yeosang comforted you once you told him what happened - made you your favorite soup and desserts. it was a lot when you arrived at his apartment. not on the brink of a breakdown like before, but it took a lot out of you to suddenly have him in front of you. to confront those feelings head on without preparation.

you're resting your head on yeosang's thigh when he messages you. it's pretty simple, just a few words.

hwa: can we meet up? with your partner too.

you look up at yeosang and he's already looking down at you. his focus turns to your phone when you show it to him, brow lifting. “both of us? think he's considering it?”

“maybe,” you look at the message, hovering over the text box. “he could just be letting us know that he doesn't want anything like that.”

“he could do that without me,” yeosang points out. “there wouldn't be any reason for me to come.”

“right,” you sigh. “why am i scared to message him back? are you okay with this, yeosang? seriously okay with all of this?”

“my love,” his hand resting on the side of your face, tilting it ever so slightly. enough for your eyes to settle on his. his thumb slowly strokes your skin. “in what ways could i convince you that i am all for you? that there is next to nothing that would make me change my mind about this? you are my happiness. i have never been more okay.”

you lean into his touch, “you always know what to say.” you open the conversation, texting back.

you: i'm available and he is as well. lmk ♡

hwa: friday? joong told me you didn't work that day and either do i. if yeosang is available too.

you look up at him, and he nods.

you: yep yep, i'll see you. at the old café, right?

hwa: the only place birdie ♡

“done?” yeosang asks, finger still stroking your cheek. you nod, and he hums again, moving off the couch. he moves your head softly to the cushions where he just sat, walking over to the fridge. you never open it, watching as he grabs a blood bag.

yeosang is careful as he opens it. grabbing scissors specifically for this task, sliding it against the plastic. his hands move slow as he pours it into the small container. you never bother him as he does this, pupils dilated, locked in his own world. he never told you to not speak to him, but it felt like you couldn't interrupt the routine of his. he is already on edge whenever he does so.

you flick through the channels, until a loud splat pulls you from your surfing. you stand without thinking twice, running over to the kitchen. red covers the floor tiles, splattered against the fridge and covering the legs of the table. the harsh smell of blood fills your noise as you step back, running to the closet to grab his mop. yeosang grabs a paper towel when you come back with the device. just as you're about to help wipe it up he grabs the pole of it, stopping you in your spot.

“it's blood,” he whispers, eyes closed. “my pretty girl, would you mind going back into the living room?” his words are strained as he says it.

“yeosang-”

“now,” his eyes open, shifting to look at you. you’ve never seen his gaze look so odd. the wood cracks beneath his hold, his nose flared. you waste no time, grabbing your bag off the chair and running towards the exit. yeosang does not stop you, though you are sure he hears your frantic panting as you slip on your shoes, grabbing your coat before running out the apartment. leaving him alone to deal with the mess.

—

it's monday.

three days since you left yeosang alone.

you were petrified.

seeing yeosang that way, almost animalistic as he held himself from doing anything more – any reasonable person would be afraid, right? anyone would run from the situation entirely, not let it escalate further. this is not like a movie, you won't survive because of his adoration for you. you did not see his eyes because he hid them from you. but it wasn't a wild guess. he wasn't himself at that moment.

or, he was. it's just not something you've experienced yourself.

none of this is okay.

as you stare at your phone, his name appearing across the screen, a small heart next to his initials, your own aches. it isn't his fault, what happened. he did what he needed to do. you trusted him enough to control himself. to hold himself back from his own thoughts as the blood filled his nose. but right then, you weren't too sure. you were scared of yeosang.

admitting it only makes you feel worse.

you open his messages, several sent over the past few days.

i’m sorry.

i shouldn't feed when you're around, i made a mistake.

please answer my calls, dearest. please let me explain it to you.

i am afraid that you're afraid of me now.

i love you.

it hurts, reading them over and over. you haven't mustered the courage to listen to the voice-mails. you know yourself. you'd take off running to his apartment, not caring about your own feelings, soothing his own. it'll only lead to something like this happening again. and you're not sure you'll be able to accept the second time. or live, frankly.

“fuck you,” you murmur at yourself, holding your forehead in your hand. “call him, y/n. call him and let him speak to you.”

despite the words said aloud, despite the way your thumb hovers over the dial button, you close it completely. you grab your bag and bus card, locking the doors of your apartment.

you haven't told hongjoong what happened. he'd make sense, he'd tell you that if you're afraid now at something like blood spilling, it'd only get worse. you'll find yourself in a situation you wouldn't want. and he'd be right, partially. you will find yourself again, around him when an incident occurs. and you'll have to decide again, if you trust him enough to stay with him.

you step onto the bus, sending the driver a small smile as you scan your pass, sitting down.

yeosang explained to you simply at the time, to stay away from him when things like this happen. at that moment you weren't thinking, your over helpful nature taking over. it was your fuck up approaching him like that. but there will be times it will happen and he wouldn't be able to tell you to go away.

what then?

—

the door swings open before you get the chance to knock.

yeosang stands there. his clothing is barely on his figure, loosely thrown against his body haphazardly, barely leaving anything to throw imagination. blonde locks every which way, likely due to him running his fingers through it again and again. if it were possible for him to have eyebags you would have seen them, usually brown eyes slightly lighter in color. his eyes flick over you, his hand pulling the door open farther.

“my friend is over,” yeosang's voice is hoarse, blinking slowly. “i smelled you when you entered the building, but he didn't leave quickly enough. he'll be out of here soon.”

you hesitant to enter, already filled with anxiety from this encounter. yeosang's face breaks at the fear in your expression. there is nothing you can do to hide it – open book as always.

“his name is wooyoung, he's a vampire. he's a bit younger than i,” yeosang glances behind him. “but i trust him. he is one of few that i do.”

you trust yeosang. you do, aside from the fear. you nod simply, taking off your shoes and entering.

you spot the vampire packing up his things. he does not turn around as he does so, shoving items into his duffle bag. his appearance closely resembles yeosang's in stature, though he is a bit leaner, a black head of hair. he zips up the bag, throwing the strap on his shoulder as he turns. his beauty is not shocking from what you've experienced with yeosang. moles decorate his skin, slightly tan. his head tilts, eyes traveling over you.

it is not in appreciation.

“you are the human that frazzled yeosang,” his smile is bright and wide, though the warm greeting does not reach his eyes. “interesting that you are quite unremarkable.”

“another word of offense and i'll kill you myself,” yeosang murmurs, eyeing him from his spot near you. “leave, now.”

wooyoung rolls his eyes. “fine. but remember my words, hyung. i'll be around town for a while if you need me. goodbye, human girl. make sure to keep your window locked,” he steps past you, door slamming once he exits his apartment.

the air is solemn between the two of you. you don't blame his friend for insulting you, in fact, you'd probably do the same if places switched. but still, it did sting. quite painfully. you sit where his bag just was, looking down at your hands. it has never been awkward with him. you were able to solve simple arguments with ease this whole time. communication has never been your strong suit, but his ease of speaking helped you gain the confidence to speak up for yourself. though now, it seems as if all the progress has faltered.

“i should have warned you how i am when my mind shifts,” yeosang says softly. you watch as he sits at the kitchen island. he hasn’t looked away from you despite your hesitance to look at him in the eyes. “it was my fault that you ran away.”

“i should have left you alone. i slipped up.”

“you don’t have to blame yourself for this, y/n,” he shakes his head. “i haven’t been around humans this closely. i forget that you aren’t used to how i am when i’m hungry. i could have hurt you if you took my words for granted. i am thankful you listened when you did,” he admits, looking away. “i can control myself well, but i didn’t expect that scent to hit me so strongly. i messed up, you didn’t. you did the right thing.”

“i ignored you for days because i was scared. of you, of what you are,” you hate saying these words to him. you hate that you have to explain how you feel about it. but there’s no other way to continue if you don’t tell him. “it took me some time to let those feelings settle before i had the courage to even appear in front of you. your friend, wooyoung,” his eyes twitch at the name, but you continue. “i can tell he doesn’t like me. it makes sense, since i’ve ignored you for so long now. i’m sorry.”

“you don’t need to apologize, y/n.”

“but i want to. i want to because i can’t lose you, yeosang. i let myself dwell in my emotions again without telling you. i ran away from the problem instead of confronting it,” it is not something you’ve moved on from. “i did it again.”

“i would have went over to your home eventually,” he admits, a sly smile on his lips. “warning you beforehand, of course. but i was never going to let you slip away without an explanation. i know you care too much, and i know i care too much. neither of us would walk away from this without at least a few minutes of conversation exchanged. but,” he rubs the back of his neck. “are you still afraid of me? honesty, please.”

“i don’t know. right now, i’m okay with you being in the same room with me.”

“you haven’t looked at me since you’ve walked in, pretty girl.”

you look up from your hands. his brown eyes warm when they meet yours. you’re not afraid of this yeosang, of the sweet man in front of you. but you are somewhat scared of when he shifts into his feeding mindset. he stands, and you watch as he crouches in front of where you sit. yeosang brushes his fingers across your cheek, hands shaking, eyes flicking between yours rapidly. somewhere in your body is telling you that you should run away. But the look yeosang is giving you stops you from saying anything. he hesitates, touching the corner of your eyelid. Your eyes are moist, and you shiver under his grasp.

"how does it feel?" he asks softly.

"like I should push you away, like, like you're going to hurt me." you admit under your breath, eyes down. he leans, meeting your avoidance.

"i won't hurt you, pretty girl. i won't do anything to hurt you, please know that. do you trust me?"

you nod. he leans forward, eyes moving from yours to your lips. you clutch the chair underneath you, closing your eyes.

*are you scared of me?*

You're ripped from your thoughts, and you open your eyes. yeosang is centimeters away from your lips, his breath fanning your lips. you move one of your hands off from the chair, touching his chest. your fingers stretch out, feeling the smooth skin underneath them. you twist your fingers, trailing the curves of his muscle. your curiosity getting the best of you.

“y/n,” he breathes, chest rising and falling quickly. your mind is telling you to run, but you don't. not now. not after you're this close. you touch his adam's apple, and he gulps. he opens his eyes, their red gaze trained on yours. you stop, shocked at the change.

“i can't, i can't handle being this close to you without…” His words trail off, hands now on the back of your neck, playing with the small hairs. his hand seemed stuck in its place, not daring to move. “if you don't stop, i won't be able to stop myself from fucking you into the chair.”

you drop your hand from him, and he groans at the loss of contact, not moving. He lifts his free hand, touching your thigh. his hand travels up slowly, and you quiver, the warning signs gone within a moment. he stops at the zipper of your jeans. You close your thighs around his grasp, and his lips curve devilishly.

“do you want me to ?” he leans close, his lips brushing against the soft skin by your neck. he trails his tongue along the curve of your neck, biting lightly. “you taste so good.”

you lean into him, his lips moving up your neck, closer to yours. he smiles against your cheek, and you feel the corner of his lips touch yours. your grip on the chair tightens, almost impossibly so. he moves closer, their soft touch brushing against yours.

your eyes lock onto his, searching for any sign of doubt or hesitation. you know when he’s conflicted, the furrowed brows, the concerned gaze. often you could sense the conflict within him, the fear that something beyond his control might destroy the two of you. at that moment, none of it mattered.

“i want you to want me, y/n," his tone is desperate now, “please tell me you want me.”

his yearning hands in the air. your heart swells with a mix of emotions — desire, a bit of fear.

“i want you, yeosang.”

his lips smile against your skin, anticipation as his lips meet yours. his breaths are heavy, lip soft and cold. the chill sends a shiver down your body, but it is anything but discomfort. his tongue sliding against yours, cool temperature only making your body warm. his fingers hold the back of your neck, pulling you deeper into the kiss. soon enough. when your fingers reach up, tighten in his hair in response he grunts and deepens the kiss, spurred on by your initiative. the deeper, heavier kisses pull ragged breaths out of you, and he only stops when he senses your loss of breath.

"I need more," he confesses, his lips and breath flowing over the back of your neck. a hand slips from the back of your neck, his tongue pushes into your mouth, moving earnestly as his other hand unclasps your bra. you moan into his lips as it releases. his cool fingers move down your back slowly, tracing the curve of your spine. the shiver causes you to pull away from his kiss. “already sound so pretty,” he whispers. his other hand lets go of your neck, both sliding along the line of your body, soft grip settling at your hips. his lips are greedy against your skin, light licks and pecks left in his wake. your hands are wrapped around him, holding him close. your legs tremble as he presses you forward into the couch, hovering above you. you can feel as he leaves a mark just off your neck, your fingers flexing, nails gripping his skin as you try to keep yourself steady.

he lifts you easily off the couch, lips against your neck as he guides you into his room. though this is your first time inside, he does not give you a chance to look around, moving over to the futon and laying you down. yeosang barely breaks the kisses between you as he leans over you. his soft hands move over your exposed breasts, gasps escaping your lips. you cover your mouth with the back of your hand to repress the moan that rises up when he kisses your sensitive nipple. your body writhes beneath him as he speaks.

"hands on my shoulders," he says, trailing kisses from your lips to your ear. "keep them there please, pretty girl."

you nod, unable to hold his stare as his gaze stays on you, his hand slipping under the waistband of your sweatpants. your breaths are heavier as his fingers slip between your thighs. he’s hesitant at first, index finger dragging along the lining of your underwear. he watches you carefully as he pulls it to the side, a finger slipping over your clit. your hands tense and you let out a plea of surprise and pleasure, covering your mouth as your eyes go wide. his finger slowly rubs your clit, coaxing warm moans from your lips. his movements are erratic; slower, faster, one finger slipping inside, two.

you're shivering under him, "yeo…"

"let go, pretty," his voice is sweet, “look at me when you do.” your eyes focus on him as best they can. there's a pleased hum that comes from him, your fingers and toes flexing as the pleasure that's been building the last few minutes peaks.

"y/n," yeosang mumbles, his breath tickling your neck. his lips drag across your skin, your chest throbbing in anticipation. You place your hands on his chest, pushing slightly. Despite your heart whining at the loss of contact,

"i want more of you, y/n," he says softly, “and that is so terrifying.”

he sighs, and you stop talking. he pulls your hand, guiding you towards him and letting you fall on top of him. his back is against the bed, his blonde hair scattered across. you hold yourself up with both of your arms, hovering above him. he closes his eyes, his hands gripping your hips softly.

"this desire to please you, it consumes me. i want you to want me the same. But," his fingers slowly dances up your waist, tracing your skin, "you may not ever feel the same as I."

he rolls over, and this time, he cages you beneath him. his pupils dilate, and he looks down at his chest, "if you could only know how hard my heart would beat for you.”.

his shirt drops to the side, and you gasp, seeing the scars that cover his chest. against his skin, the ridges curve and meet each other at odd angles. many are faded over time, but you can see a small glimpse of them. yeosang doesn’t say anything, letting you take in his body. the hurt. you reach out, finger ever so lightly tracing a more prominent one. yeosang sucks in a breath but doesn’t move his eyes from yours. he lets you follow the path. your eyes swell with tears, and he brushes one that falls from your eye.

“please don’t cry,” he says softly, “all of it is from long ago, i’m okay now.” you shake your head, bringing your fingers away from him.

“it looks so painful, yeosang. i’m so sorry.”

yeosang leans down, brushing his lips against yours. he breathes in your gasps, stroking your cheek as your tears fall. your eyes flutter as his tongue slides along your lower lip. his lips move from yours, slowly dragging across your shoulder. despite just moments ago when his fingers were inside of you, you cannot help but let embarrassment sink in as he observes you.

“i cannot believe you’re here in front of me. staring at me, willingly letting me see you,” he’s holding his weight up on his knees to keep it from crushing you. “what have i done to deserve you? who knew that you would allow me to see you in such a vulnerable state?”

“i am just a human, yeosang.”

with that he smiles, hand trailing down the curve of your torso. “divinity would faint underneath your gaze.” he moves closer to you, and you feel his bulge straining against his sweats. if you look close enough, you can see a small wet stain coating the outside of the fabric. his lips continue their slow descent down your body, light pecks each time he lifts up slightly. his hands press firmly into your hips, his nails leaving small indents.

you hesitantly reach out, letting your fingers drag through his hair. he shivers at your touch, eyes darkening as he lets his tongue trail. you clench your thighs at his approach, and he whispers onto your skin. inaudible, you ask him to repeat himself once more.

“tell me if you want me to stop,” he says, finger dipping between your folds once before. It didn’t sound the same as before, but you couldn’t question him at the moment. your breath shakens, mind clouded with only him. he drags his middle finger slowly over your clit, enough to keep you on the edge, but not enough to arouse you further. you sigh in frustration.

you begin to stroke his cock, nails scraping against his skin lightly. he leans his head into the crook of your neck, sucking on your skin as your hand moves up and down his erection. yeosang stops your hand in place. he moves back away from you, kicking his slacks off his legs. you see the scars extend from his chest down his legs, and some disappearing onto his back. he sees the sadness in your eyes, and presses his lips between your brows.

“i’m okay,” he repeats, “i have you, pretty girl. i’m okay.” he wraps his arms around your torso, letting your heartbeat slow. he presses his lips to your forehead once more, before pushing you back down.

you look at him, the moonlight shining on his blonde hair, turning it into a more silver shade. he scared you before, an uneasy feeling each time you stood next to him. now, you couldn’t even remember how it felt.

yeosang looks down at his cock, his erection still prominent against his stomach. he looks back at you.

“you can still say no, and I will stop.”

he waits for your response patiently.

“i won’t say no,” you reply back, and he leans down. his cock presses against your cunt, slipping inside with a low pop. you moan, throwing your head to the side. the low moan that escapes his throat is otherworldly, his girth stretching you to your limits. every stroke to move further in has you gasping, his small whimpers barely heard over the sound of your wetness, his cool cock slipping through.

your hands reach out to touch his shoulders, and he leans closer to you, wrapping his arms around your torso. he holds you tight as his cock settles in you, his breaths shaky. you feel his hands wrap around your thighs and his body, forcing your cunt to pull him in deep. you widen your eyes as you feel his cock pulsate, almost shaking inside of you.

after you adjust to his size, he goes slow; long strokes moving in and out of your cunt at a leisurely pace.

yeosang pauses, “may i move faster?”

“please.”

he grins. he slams his cock into your cunt. you gasp, his strokes quick and deep. your muscles ache as he continues his relentless pace. fingers digging into his back, whimpers of pleasure falling from your lips.

“i love you.” you’re voice is barely above a whisper.

yeosang’s pace is already relentless, but when he hears those words fall from your lips, it’s like a switch flicked inside of him. he rears back, and slams. you squeeze tightly, and he rewards you with another slam, filling your whole completely. his pattern is erratic, moving quickly and dragging his cock along your cunt. it’s thick; you can feel every vein and lump that covers him.

the bed strains under his pace, forced away by the strength of his stroking. his lips press against your skin feverishly, his desperation to climax overwhelming. the quickness of his skin rubbing against yours, crotch smacking against you and grinding relentlessly will definitely have you sore in the morning.

yeosang pressing into you, your cunt pulsating as your nails tear the skin of his back. you yelp. the intense sensation of yeosang’s thrusts make you fall into your climax, your moans echoing around the room. your eyes flutter as he pulls you tight against him, and you feel his cock explode with cum strands hitting your walls.

you two sit there for a moment, until yeosang shifts, his body still hugging you but this time, laying on your side. his cock sits in you, slowly softening. he runs his fingers down your cheek, rubbing your skin softly. the temperature of his body pressing against yours is cool, your skin seeking his. he presses his lips to yours lightly.

"we should clean up before we sleep." you say into his skin, though unmoving.

"i'll take care of it." he says, covering you with a nearby blanket as he gets up.

he holds you closer to his body, breaths tickling the hairs on your neck. hours have passed, most filled with your combined sounds of pleasure. enough so that you’ve exhausted yourselves sheets in the washer, new ones beneath your freshly showered bodies. he didn’t leave you alone in there either - not that you wanted him to, of course. his stamina is endless, your flushed body against the wall as he pressed into you. the thought of it makes your body warm, legs wiggling slightly against his cool chest pressed against your back. his lips drag against your shoulder, soft kiss brushed against it.

“again?” he whispers. though you cannot see his face from this angle, you can hear the smile in his voice as he says the word.

your body aches at the thought. “yeosang, you’re insatiable.” you murmur, his arms wrapping around your center, pulling you closer into him.

“mm,” he agrees simply. “now that i’ve had you i’m not sure i can let you go that easily. and we have to christen my apartment.”

“that’s a bit blasphemous,” you snort, and he laughs. “what, i’m sure there’s at least a vampire afterlife of some sort.”

“unfortunately for me, pretty girl, if there is one, i doubt i will be experiencing it anytime soon.”

the conversation lulls after that, soft giggles and laughs filling the silence every few minutes or so. the anxiety of being around him before diminished into nothing. his chin rests on the top of your head, the rumbling of his throat as he hums vibrating against you.

“wooyoung wasn’t serious about what he said,” he says after a few minutes of silence. “he worries for me.”

“he should, he’s your friend.”

yeosang pauses for a moment, before continuing. “we were partners a long time ago.”

oh. a long time could mean so much more to him than to you, but you don’t dare interrupt, intrigued on what else he’s going to say.

“the last time it happened was about a little over a hundred years, give or take a few years. we’re well now, but in the beginning it was rough. we used each other for satisfaction every couple of decades. he came to my apartment today and mentioned our past,” yeosang’s fingers slightly tighten. “i told him i have you now. it didn’t upset him, but it did bewilder him. i’m not one to interact with humans the way that others do. i avoid your species completely, moreso out of fear of the unknown. i trust you, but i don’t trust any other human. i’ve only accepted you telling your friend because i have confidence in your decisions. if it were anyone else i’d vehemently deny it. but i digress - wooyoung will not bother you again. he may linger around my home every so often, but he’d never welcome himself into yours. we would need permission to enter, anyway.”

“do you still like him?” it is an awkward question to ask, but you’re curious. you don’t deny that yeosang has feelings for you, but you wonder if his feelings for wooyoung go beyond simply caring for a friend.

“not as you're thinking. i enjoy him being around as a friend. he brings out another side of me. but not as a partner or lover. i think we’ve grown past that part in our relationship. he seems to agree as well. and i do believe he has a partner of his own now.”

“so i have you to myself,” you grin. he cannot see it from the angle you’re resting, but he chuckles, body vibrating to the sound.

“was there ever any room for uncertainty?” he presses his lips against your hair, “are you reassuring yourself because of wooyoung, or our meeting with seonghwa coming up soon?”

how decipherable are your emotions?

“a bit of both. i want us to be okay before anything else is decided. bringing someone into a situation that isn’t stable would hurt us all. and seonghwa is my best friend,” you whisper, “i can’t hurt him again.”

“will you tell him about me?” he asks.

“i would have to if we’re all going to be in this. i can’t keep any secrets from him. and i’m sure he’ll figure it out almost immediately. he picks up on small things quickly.”

“you didn’t,” he teases.

“i just thought you were a freak,” you murmur, a gasp spilling from his lips. “nothing wrong with that!”

“and yet you stayed,” he points out.

you turn around, his hold loosening as you do so. your body faces him, hand reaching up, tracing the lining of his face. you cannot imagine yourself without him now, your identities too entwined for you to separate without hurting each other in the long run. there is little that would have made you leave him.

“yeosang,” your tone is softer, decorated with your complicated feelings. his name holds so much in your mouth each time you say it, a confession, maybe. there is little to separate the two of you — the space between your bodies unseen at first glance. his hand reaches to cup the shape of your face, thumb resting at the corner of your lips. how easy your heart picks up at the simplest touch.

“you torture me,” his lids are heavy, teeth digging into his lip. “i know you tease but my mind wanders.”

“to?”

“i cannot look at you, be with you, think about you, without love. i never really yearned or envied humans before. your lives cave out such a small amount of time it felt insignificant to desire such an existence. and yet i rest with you here, holding a breath that is neverending, afraid of leaving you. my love for you will cause me to crumble and i will never not be thankful.”

his finger catches a tear that falls down your cheek, “if it were only feasible to be with you until the end, pretty girl.”

#fic: from eden #yeosang x reader #kang yeosang x reader #seonghwa x reader #park seonghwa x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez angst #ateez fluff

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atzfilm · 3 months

Text

— from eden; (m) part two (finale)

there's something wretched about this. something so precious about this, oh what a sin

— yeosang/f.reader, seonghwa/f.reader

— vampire!au, angst, smut (16k)

part one

yeosang and you enter the restaurant, your hands tucked in your pockets. with yeosang’s lack of warmth, he often reaches for your palm in his, but you insisted that for tonight, you stay away from unneeded physical contact. it isn’t like you’re uncomfortable with it - you just want things to go smoothly. yeosang frowned at your suggestion but obliged, knowing you want things to be okay between the three of you. your eyes scan the seats until it lands on the back of seonghwa’s head. you look at yeosang before moving forward, he himself barely a step behind you.

seonghwa stands when he sees the two of you, embracing you with a tight hug before looking at yeosang. you never though you’d see the two of them together, the sight strange as you watch them interact. seonghwa holds out his hand and yeosang shakes it firmly. you can see the gears turn in your best friend’s head as he embraces his hand. it’s similar to the look you’re sure you gave him when you first met. you all sit down, you across from seonghwa and yeosang next to you. they exchange greetings as the waiter comes and places menus in front of you.

“you’re cold yeosang,” seonghwa says after a moment, looking at you briefly. “you’re just like y/n. no gloves?”

“naturally cold,” yeosang murmurs. you haven’t noticed before, but the set of yeosang’s shoulders are a bit tense. likely due to the topic of conversation. you decided together that it would be best to speak to seonghwa about his… condition, in person. depending on how the conversation turns, you want to tell him tonight. not in the restaurant.

“pick what you wanted?” you look at seonghwa, and he mulls over the menu. you envy him in situations like this - he’s quiet, but he never lets the lull of silence bother him.

“yep, the usual.”

oh, maybe not this time. the silence is almost painful.

“i’ve gone here a few times,” yeosang speaks up, glancing over the food. “the last time i came the hamburgers were delightful. fries a bit too soggy for my taste,” he sighs, frowning. “at least the chicken i ordered was crispy.”

“chicken it is then,” you nudge him.

the waiter comes back as you place your orders.

your hands are folded in your lap, holding yourself back from biting your lip. seonghwa wanted the two of you to come for a reason, and though you don’t expect it to be said immediately once you’ve sat down, the anticipation is wearing you down.

“i’ve known birdie since we were kids,” seonghwa begins, taking a sip of his soda. “she probably told you already, but we’ve been best friends since then. it was just recently when i realized that i love her in a romantic sense.”

“she has,” yeosang says simply.

“and you have no problem with that?” seonghwa’s brows furrow as he looks at yeosang. “nothing at all?”

“it might be surprising given the amount of time we’ve been together, but i do love her. and i have no issue with her loving someone else while being in a relationship with me,” yeosang shrugs. “all i want is open communication - if her feelings change or if yours change if we decide to move along with this, we just speak about it. it’s difficult, but that’s how something like this can work.”

seonghwa stares at him, “you’re serious about this? you're willing to share someone you love?”

“hwa,” you frown.

he sighs, “it’s just. i don’t want… i didn’t think i’d ever agree to anything like this,” he whispers. his fingers drag along the indentations of the wooden table, tongue dragging along his lips. “i thought you’d be with someone else and that’s true, it happened. but this?” he looks between you and yeosang. “it… i don’t want to be an afterthought. i don’t want to be treated like someone that could be thrown away. and it might be stupid of me to say anything like this because i know you better than i know myself, birdie. i know you wouldn’t hurt me that way. but it scares me. it fucking terrifies me that one day you will decide that this was stupid and give up on me after some time. that’s what i’m worried about most.”

yeosang does not respond, knowing it’s your chance to speak this time.

“i know how hard this is to wrap your head around,” you say, gaze glued to his face, though he does not meet your eyes. “when i finally confessed to yeosang, we both knew that i haven't moved on from you, and despite my own insistent yeosang encouraged me to settle my feelings before pursuing something with him. and at the time i could imagine my life with him, i really could. but having you not there with me, i don't think i'd ever move on from you, seonghwa. feelings are very fragile, and the very last thing i'd ever think of doing is hurting you. i love you, and i want this to work. between us.”

seonghwa does not say anything, likely digesting the words you say the food arrives moments later. all of you that the waiter for the meal.

“i know my words are less impactful since we are not well acquainted,” yeosang takes a small bite of his fries. “but i would like for you to know something, if i may.”

seonghwa nods.

“when y/n and i arrived here, no, just before, she spoke to me about you. explained your emotions, how you react to certain things and phrases. told me of your likes and dislikes, of topics to tread lightly on and to be aware of. she didn't even want me to hold her hand when we arrived out of fear it would turn you off.”

the temperature in the room grows, your own face warming. he does not mean to embarrass you but you can feel the emotion manifesting.

“she was afraid when i spoke to her about you, when i asked questions. corrected me when my assumption about you was incorrect, scolded me when i said something out of line. these conversations, these little talks between us – from that alone i could tell that y/n loves you more than she even knows. and you and i both know she is kind hearted. her heart is full of love. she loves you truly, without restraint.”

yeosang passes seonghwa his fries, “it would be a shame to not try, at least. see if it is comfortable. we all don't have to be together each time we meet. you can meet separately if it feels strange to have me around. our relationships with one another will be separate.”

“are you interested in men?” seonghwa asks him. yeosang's sweet cheeks lift at the question.

“i don't have a preference, i just enjoy people. but if you wonder if i am attracted to you,” yeosang glances at you for a brief moment. it is something he does often to see if you are uncomfortable. the expression on your face must be neutral enough for him to continue. “you aren't bad on the eyes. i don't anticipate a relationship between us, though. my heart is occupied by y/n right now.”

there is a bit of silence that simmering between the two of you.

“i don’t want to jump into anything right away,” seonghwa starts, thanking yeosang for the fries. “even though i did confess to birdie right when we both met again, i didn’t really know the circumstances of what’s happened over these months. i do, though, want to continue something with her. and seeing as you’re both okay with that, i am too. we can just take it slow, then?”

you can’t hide the smile slowly rising on your face, the softness in seonghwa’s eyes forming as he takes in your expression. “we can,” you agree.

“and you don’t have to not touch each other while i’m around,” seonghwa adds in, chuckling when he sees your movements still. “it doesn’t make me uncomfortable in the slightest, you know.”

“i didn’t want anything to be too much,” you admit beneath your breath. yeosang slides closer to you almost immediately after seonghwa’s blessing, a snort escaping your lips at his enthusiasm. “way to play it cool.”

“i like touching you,” yeosang shrugs.

the night slows down after that, small banter back and forth between the three of you. seonghwa warms up as the hours pass, and soon enough the employees begin cleaning up the cafe, a signal for you to leave. yeosang takes his hand in yours as you stand, the cool temperature of his hand making you shiver. seonghwa follows by your opposing side as you walk out, the cold night more than chilling. the lump in your throat is massive as you look at seonghwa, knowing that you have to tell him what yeosang is. that you can’t hide it from him if you want this to work. yeosang knows this as well, thumb rubbing small circles into your palm.

“seonghwa, before we move things forward there’s something else you need to know,” you start, grip tightening around yeosang’s hands. “it’s important.”

the familiar worried look settles in his eyes as he looks between the both of you. things were moving forward so well, it hurts that you need to bring this up at all. but you trust seonghwa, more than you trust yourself. he wouldn’t tell a soul what he knows if you didn’t want him to.

“better to let it out in the open,” he says slowly.

“would you…” you trail off, gaze moving just behind seonghwa. yeosang steps forward as seonghwa turns around, his hand leaving yours. the sight is hard to watch.

the man’s hands wrapped around the woman’s body, pulling her into him. from a quick glance it would just look like they’re wrapped in a lover’s embrace, but you can see the dark shine on her neck, the way his hands are still around her, the limpness of her body. if she is not dead she is soon to be. even in the night you can see how pale she is from where you stand.

“what’s going on?” seonghwa asks, looking at you. you're unable to respond, yeosang leaving the two of you by yourselves. you can remember how he told you there were no vampires around, rarely do they ever even appear in your town. so seeing one so blatantly suck the life out of a person in front of you allows dread to slide over you. seonghwa takes a step forward but you grip his forearm so tightly, you’re sure to leave a bruise. he looks down at you in confusion, eyes widening when he sees the fear on your face.

“y/n, you have to let me go help-”

the sound resonates around the two of you. your heads whip in the direction of the crime, the woman’s body slumped against the pavement as the two vampires fight. it’s too fast for your eyes to keep up, but you do see it. the wooden stake shoved into yeosang’s chest and sticking out from the back. seonghwa is as stunned as you are, your heart dropping when you see his injury. another loud crack echoes through the air. yeosang falls to his knees, hands pressed against the ground to hold himself up. he moves again, slow enough to see him collapse in the nearby park, hidden behind the thickened bushes.

you let go of seonghwa and run over, first glancing at the woman on the ground. her eyes are open and glazed over, life no longer with her. seonghwa is just behind you, stopping for a moment to gaze at the woman's body. there's nothing the two of you can do – but neither of you reach to dial the police. you move near yeosang, but seonghwa is first.

“birdie, what the hell,” his hand wrapped around your forearm is steel, brows furrowed tightly as he holds you behind his body. his gaze has not left the crouched over body of yeosang, the hole in his chest slowly closing. you watch as the parts begin to mend, muscles stretching across the gap, ribs forming in its absence. the sight itself is gory, your own eyes elsewhere as yeosang dry heaves. it is ironic to say that your own heart is breaking looking at him, but you cannot describe it any other way. you push past your fear and begin moving toward him again but seonghwa does not lose strength in his hold on you.

“hwa, let go.”

“you’re not getting near him. he’s not… he’s–”

“seonghwa. he’s not human, i know,” you interrupt his stuttered words. his head turns immediately to look at you, eyes flicking between yours. hurt and confusion mix together. his hold loosens enough that you pull away from him, crouching next to yeosang. his hand reaches for yours and you grasp it without another word, lips pressed against the back of it. you don’t think of how it’s coated with blood or how it’s not his. no. all you do is wait and watch. his shuddered breaths, trembling lips. eyes closed.

“what’s going on?” seonghwa has not moved from his spot but he has not backed away either, watching the two of you. “is he some type of experiment?”

“a vampire, just like the one that attacked that woman,” you say. “we were going to tell you hwa, until it happened. it was going to be easier to explain.”

“not sure anything like that is easy to explain, y/n,” he moves closer. you hear him crouching down next to you. he is afraid, that you can clearly see. but he does not leave your side, eyes stuck on your crumbled partner. “is he… will he be okay?”

“yes,” you murmur. “i think so. i hope so.”

“is there nothing we can do? to speed up the process?”

it’s surprising how easy he is taking in this information. you glance over for a moment, eyes flicking to his hand that touches yeosang’s free one. their fingers are entwined, seonghwa’s trembling in his hold.

“blood, probably,” you whisper low, hoping that yeosang is too focused on his healing to hear you say it. “but i don’t think–”

“no,” his tone is hoarse as it escapes his blood coated lips, head shaking slightly. “no.”

“no then,” seonghwa says. “we wait?”

yeosang slowly nods. “yes.”

and that is what you do. hidden in the moonless night, tucked beneath the tree seonghwa and you used to rest when you were children, staring at the man you love mending himself.

–

it takes a little more than a hour before yeosang is able to stand up on his own. seonghwa and you help him to his feet. he does not waste any time in letting apologies spill from his body, chest heaving. you silence them with a small smile and a shake of your head. seonghwa shuts it down well, lifting yeosang’s arm to let it wrap around his shoulder. he assists him with walking to yeosang’s car. you climb in the backseat first, helping seonghwa lower him down to the seats, his body lying horizontally, head resting against your thighs. your fingers push his blood soaked locks away from his face, unable to control your own trembling. he turns his head slightly, pressing a small kiss to your pants.

“i’ll be fine, pretty.”

seonghwa climbs into the front seat. he adjusts his mirror to focus on the two of you. your eyes meet in the reflection, your worried gaze meeting his identical one. it is something you love about him. how easy it is for him to care despite the circumstances. he asked you just before if he should call the police but both yeosang and yourself denied the request. there's no way to explain what happened tonight. nothing that would end up letting the three of you leave without question. seonghwa drives slow, apologizing each time the road hits a bump. yeosang murmurs no need as he does it, eventually making it to his complex. the two of you pause for a moment, thinking. how could you bring him through the lobby when he looks like he’s walked out of a murder scene?

“garage has a private entrance. the key is in the glove compartment,” he gestures forward. seonghwa reaches over and takes it out, quickly opening the driver’s door to help yeosang out. the movements are quick as you do so, cameras around the garage increasing your worry. you enter the elevator, seonghwa passing you to the key. you glance at the two of them before shutting the doors, turning the key and hitting the top floor.

yeosang snickers at you, head resting against seonghwa’s shoulder. “you know what they say about vampires not being seen in reflections? works here too.”

“i can see you in the mirror, yeo,” you frown.

“if i let you, yes,” he takes in a long breath, clearing his throat. “i’m able to hide myself enough that outsiders cannot see. so, the guards would just see the two of you carrying around an invisible person. i only suggested the garage because it would be too hard to explain carrying a body they cannot see. i wonder how it would look,” he chuckles, his cough overcoming it. seonghwa and you exchange a worried look as the elevator ascends.

“i’m fine,” he mumbles, clearing his throat. “just a blood bag and rest. you can leave once you drop me off. the both of you.”

“no.” “absolutely not.”

yeosang does not protest, but you can see the disgruntled expression on his face. once he's stable enough, likely after a few more hours, you know he's going to scold you for hanging around while he's like this. it wouldn't be the first time you've run away. but you cannot do such a thing now. your mind would wander if you left him in this apartment. if the attack was truly random maybe you'd be less worried. nevertheless, he's one of your loved ones. you'd never forgive yourself for leaving him alone. and with you staying, seonghwa won't leave. not until he understands everything that's happening.

the elevator doors slide open, your steps matching their slow ones as you enter the apartment. seonghwa helps guide yeosang to his room with instructions. you enter the kitchen, opening the fridge door. the bags line each shelf, cold to the touch. does he want you to warm it up?

“this is true, then?” the stool slides against the hardwood floor as seonghwa sits, eyes on the open refrigerator. “he's really a vampire?”

“as real as he'll ever be,” you play the bag in the microwave, hitting the timer. “i was as shocked as you are now when i found out.”

“and it doesn't scare you?”

you hold your tongue. does it? before, you were downright afraid of being in the same room with him. you've grown used to his true nature, your love superseding any uncomfortable feelings that appeared. but are you still afraid, deep down?

“it did,” you admit, keeping the bag closed. you stare at it, thinking. “but i love him, hwa. if he were a secret dragon or a shape-shifting hybrid creature i'd still love him.” and that is true. there is no hesitancy in your voice. you love him. you tuck the bag beneath your arm, giving seonghwa a quick squeeze on his arm before entering yeosang's room.

he stares at the ceiling, chest rising and falling slowly. he somehow looks paler, the warm amber lamp shining on his skin. he tilts his head, blinking slowly as he smiles at you. you take the bag out of your hand, placing it in his. he pauses as he stares at it, nail tracing around the outline of it.

“thank you,” his tone is low. “you didn’t… when you saw the woman, you were calm.”

you see her sullen, cold face in your mind as he mentions it. it makes your throat tighten a bit, but it's not an unfamiliar sight. “seonghwa and i, before we had our current jobs, we were in medical school. cadavers were something quite common to see. the only reason why i didn't freak out,” you admit. “i doubt i’d forget anytime soon, though.”

“i'm sorry y/n,” he places the bag to the side of him, hand reaching for yours. you lift yours with ease, letting him entwine your fingers. “i should have told you to leave. i would have been fine alone, i let you see it. i could have done something quicker –”

“you're not blaming this on yourself, are you?” you stare at him in confusion. “you didn't cause her death, yeosang. this isn't your fault in any way.”

“i thought, when we left the restaurant, the smell outside was vaguely familiar. it smelled of death. i pushed past it because i thought it was just me imagining things. if i truly, truly let it settle this wouldn't have happened. i could have saved her.”

“listen to me carefully,” you lift your free hand, resting it against the side of his face. his eyelids close. “you are not at fault, yeosang. this is not your fault. you didn't kill her. you tried your best to save her. you almost died trying, yeo,” your gaze moves to his chest, the open wound merely a smaller hole now. “you did everything you could. sometimes it just doesn't work out the way we want it to.”

“the vampire is still out there,” he whispers.

that is true. wherever it came from, it still roams the streets. and if what yeosang believes is true truly is, there's nothing stopping him from feeding on more innocents. soon enough the murders will raise suspicion, grow fear in the community. it worries you that's for certain.

“there's nothing to be done right now unless you're well.”

his lips tilt downward a bit, but he doesn't say anything to deny your words. “you can go for the night if you'd like, pretty.”

“i'm staying,” you reach for the bag around him, placing it back in his hands. “i'll be in the living room with seonghwa. bother me anytime you want.” you go to stand, but yeosang's grip on your fingers does not loosen. “yeo–?”

“not just my apartment, y/n. if this… if all of this is too much for you, i wouldn't blame you if you decided to leave me.”

“i’ve told you before-”

“and i’m asking you again.” he interrupts you, eyes unblinking. “i love you, and i know this relationship we have will put you in danger. just because i rarely am around vampires does not mean someone won’t appear in the future. i’d never want to put you in harm’s way, and i need you to know now that that will happen. i’ll try my best to protect you, but there may be a time that i won’t be able. i need you to think about this, carefully. i wouldn’t mind if you stayed the night to think it through, and if it takes longer than the night i’ll understand. just, don’t say yes because you care for me. think of your future, of what you’ll be risking if you stay.”

you lean down, lips pressing against his birthmark. “i will. get some rest, okay?”

his nod is shallow, letting go of your arm. you give him one last look before closing the door completely, locking it behind you.

seonghwa sits on the edge of the couch, mindlessly clicking through the channels. his gaze shifts to you once you enter, bored eyes brightening as they move to yours. “is he alright?”

you sit next to him, adjusting yourself on the couch. “he’s as good as he can be. hopefully better tomorrow.”

he nodes slowly, “are you okay?”

that’s a more difficult question to answer. “he was there for me when i let myself drown in my sorrow. i drank so much a few months ago. it made me forget what i lost. seeing him right now, so defeated, i just don’t know what to do to help him. i feel stuck a bit, you know?”

there is no question why you did that, how you ended up that way. it was your own heartache that thought it would be best to mend yourself with alcohol. you’d never blame it on seonghwa and he’d never suggest doing so. but you can see in his eyes, how they grace their gaze on you, how the lump of his adam’s apple tightens as he swallows. you reach over, hand covering his own, a small pinch of skin between your nails.

“it’s better now.”

he nods slowly, lids fluttering. “i hope so.”

“yeosang helped with it,” you say again, gaze subconsciously roaming to his closed bedroom door. “it was a lot to deal with on my own and he was there to pull me out of it. i haven’t touched alcohol since.”

“i’m glad he was there for you,” seonghwa holds your hand, playing with your fingers. “i hope i can be there too.”

“you’re here now even though you don’t need to be,” you say simply. “you're scared of him but you haven't said anything to discourage me. you're scared, and you're still here. i went through a lot back then seonghwa and i have so much more to work on, but i won't do anything like that again. you're here for me, and i will not leave you.”

he takes in a long breath, eyes closing. “i know. but it's nice to hear you say it, birdie.” he tilts his head to look at you. “all we can do right now is wait and see if he needs anything. i can tell from knowing him for a day now, he seems a bit stubborn.”

you frown, “takes one to know one.”

he snickers, tongue dragging across his chapped lips. “ha ha.”

“now there’s two of you i have to deal with?” wooyoung stands there, arms crossed as it flicks between seonghwa and yourself. yeosang did warn you before you slept that he may be dropping by since he told him of the incident, but you didn’t expect it so early in the morning. dawn just breaking. you barely slept, a couple of hours of sleep obvious in the way you stand. seonghwa stands slightly in front of you, unmoving as wooyoung enters the home. his eyes meet yours, questions in their gaze, but there’s nothing to really explain from your side. you know wooyoung as well as he does.

his hair seems a bit longer since the last you saw him, pulled back from his face with a hairband. he throws down the duffle bag on yeosang’s couch, rubbing his face. “you saw the fuck, right?”

with brows knotting together, “excuse me?”

“the immortal, the nightwalker. vampire, whatever. you saw him?” wooyoung turns to look at you, eyes flicking up to seonghwa. “both of you did?”

“yes-”

“did he see you?”

you cannot really remember, but he had to have seen either you or seonghwa. the encounter was brief, but you weren’t too far away to go unnoticed. the possibility of him seeing you rather than not is really high. still, you cannot be too sure of it. “maybe.”

“yes or no, it’s a simple question sweetheart.”

“how the hell are we supposed to know when it was pitch black outside?” harshness etches seonghwa’s words as he frowns at wooyoung.

“easy there, flesh sack,” wooyoung raises his hands, grinning. his canines dig into his lower lip as he does so, turning back around to dig through his back. “if the guy did see you, it means that he knows you hang around the immortal who almost killed him. puts a target on both of your backs. but if he didn’t see you, you’re safe for now. until he comes poking around here, that is,” he pulls several things from his bag - knives, small containers of unknown substances, clothing. he pauses for a moment, thinking. “i think this is enough for the two of you.”

“for what exactly?”

wooyoung grins, brow raised, “for killing a vampire, stupid girl.”

the door to yeosang’s bedroom creaks open just as you're about to retort. you see his pale hand first, fingers outstretched against the wall as he steadies himself. he looks a bit better than last night, hair frazzled, face a bit sunk in. and despite all of that he still looks aggravatingly handsome. life is never fair. he coughs, slowly making his way into the room. he notices how you look at him with worry, lips closed as he meets your gaze. the expression disappears when he looks at wooyoung. annoyance clear.

“haven't i discussed this with you already? you speak to her with dignity, not insults. she's done nothing to you.”

“all humans are stupid, it wasn't just meant for her,” he shrugs, avoiding the look his friend gives him. “but apologies, human. and other brooding human.” the glazed look he gives seonghwa does not go unnoticed by anyone in the room. you grab a pillow and throw it in his face, a whine escaping his lips. “hey–”

“focus, wooyoung,” yeosang merely sighs, but you can see the laughter on the cusp of his stern statement, squeezing your arm. “now's not the time for one of your conquests. we have to kill him.”

he murmurs something beneath his breath, shooting you a glare before sighing. “it won't be as easy as i thought. he's turned.”

defeat settles in yeosang's gaze, “are you for sure?”

“no born acts the way he has. draining a human in public, no care for the consequences? i know you've been preoccupied lately, but there's been a string of murders around here. three dead humans in two weeks. it's unsettling. unsettling enough for others to take notice, yeosang.”

yeosang's lips tighten. “perfect.”

“sorry to interrupt, but would you please explain for the two humans?” you ask. yeosang looks between the both of you, thinking.

“you two must leave town. it's not necessary to take others since they blend in. this town will be crawling with my kind, and they will target you.”

“yeosang, what are you saying–”

“y/n,” wooyoung interrupts. “listen to your immortal lover, okay? newborns causing chaos in a town bring out the born vampires. and not just one or two. they come in groups, they scour the town for the one who has been causing this to stop it. to keep our secret hidden. and we can only last a day or so without a drink. you get what i’m saying?” wooyoung looks at seonghwa. “you're already around a vampire yourself. yeosang has not placed a claim on either of you, but we can smell you. we know. our kind target humans like you first. they may attempt to mark you.”

seeing the confused looks on your faces unmoving, wooyoung turns to yeosang. “have you not explained anything to them?”

“we've been preoccupied with other things as of late.”

wooyoung shakes his head, “we're wasting time like this. look,” wooyoung holds out his arm, sinking his teeth into his skin. dark blood seeps out from the bite, dripping to the wood below your feet. “when we bite, our fangs extract a sort of poison, i suppose. it enters a human's bloodstream. your scent changes, and you become only desirable to the one you have been marked by. it's our way of having our own blood supply at all times. since yeosang has not done that to either of you, you're not safe. others will want you because you smell like a vampire, so it's presumed that you know of us already. they will make you their feeding station. rarely do humans survive more than a week. so, get your little buddy here, grab some knives before you go, and get out of here. far away, preferably. i'm not interested in saving humans who don't listen. and as you can tell, i'm only here for my best friend, not the two of you.”

“kindness will take you far,” yeosang says softly. he looks at you and seonghwa. “can we speak alone for a moment? in my room?”

you follow yeosang, said man stopping briefly when he sees seonghwa not following. “you as well, seonghwa. it's important for both of you to know.”

surprise swallows seonghwa's expression as he follows the two of you into yeosang's room, the door shutting behind him. he pinches the bridge of his nose, a long breath escaping him. neither of you interrupt, letting him settle his train of thoughts instead.

“this is a larger problem than i presumed it to be. if it were an older vampire i would have been able to track it down by myself tonight. as you can see, plans have changed. i… i know its sudden to leave the place you know, but i hope you do. even my apartment now is not safe for the two of you. in another city, farther away from here, you will be okay. you will blend in. this one is too small, and i'll worry. for the both of you.” yeosang looks at seonghwa. “it's important that you take my words seriously when i say this. please leave until i tell you to come back. call off work and use my cards to care for yourselves if you lack funds. wooyoung took the liberty of booking a hotel before he came. it's a suite of some hotel line he often uses. it has enough room for several people if needed.”

“you’ll be okay?” you ask. yeosang steps closer to you, pressing his forehead against yours. the temperature of his skin was always enough to calm you down, but your heart still beats on wildly. if the vampire nearly killed him last night, there’s a chance it could do the same when you go.

“i have backup now, pretty,” his thumbs brushes your cheek, tilting your head to meet his gaze. “do you trust me?”

“of course.”

he presses his lips against your forehead against before stepping back, “seonghwa, stay safe as well. you risked yourself for me yesterday without knowing me for more than a few hours,” his lip tilts, arms resting against his chest. “not many beings in this world would do the same.”

“you’ve done all that you can, yeosang, it’s little for me to give back to you,” seonghwa holds out his hand. yeosang takes it, but instead of a handshake, he pulls him into his body, arms wrapped around his torso as he gives him a hug. the sight is humorous in itself - yeosang isn’t one to initiate embraces wit others. seonghwa looks taken aback for a moment, before patting yeosang’s back. you hold back your laugh, glancing between the two.

“hate to break up the love fest,” wooyoung swings open the door, frowning. “but i can smell them coming. best to leave now rather than later.”

you give yeosang another quick hug before turning around, seonghwa following close behind. his step around wooyoung is obviously keeping a distance between them, wooyoung himself grinning at his actions.

“if you ever grow tired of these two, you always have me loverboy,” wooyoung laughs, an ouch escaping his lips immediately after. you snicker, sliding your hand into seonghwa’s and leaving the two vampires alone.

traveling to the hotel is quiet. you texted hongjoong soon after leaving the condo and explained enough to him - he told you he wouldn’t leave his home no matter the circumstances. it settled your heart enough, trusting his words. seonghwa and yourself were never really much for talking, moreso now since your mind is somewhere else entirely. you trust yeosang. you trust him entirely, but worry has always been at the forefront of your mind. if you could you would have stayed with him. but your presence would only be a hindrance. having him distracted worrying for you while there’s a danger creeping through the streets of your neighborhood is the last thing you want. and despite how much you dislike wooyoung, you’re thankful for him being there. if yeosang trusts him, so do you.

seonghwa is glued to your side the entire way. hand never leaving yours, arm brushing if it must for a brief moment. little space exists between the two of you. being best friends you rarely ever gone a day without speaking, but it feels entirely different now. his touch somehow feels more present in your mind. his gaze heavier as it rests on you. knowing he cares for you the same makes even the brush of his thumb feel different. the way he holds his straw between his lips as he takes a sip, adjusts his jacket, holds the door open for you - it is all alluring.

you rub the sides of your mouth, trying to push those silly thoughts away. now’s not the time to fixate on little things.

“birdie, though i love your trust in me, please keep an eye on where you walk,” seonghwa nudges you slightly, pulling you around the layer crater in the sidewalk. “i’d rather you not hurt yourself while we’re away from home.”

“sorry,”

“no need,” he tucks your arm around his, guiding you down the street. “there’s a lot happening. it’s hard not to concentrate on it.”

“you think he’ll be okay?” the question is more for yourself to answer than seonghwa, but he takes the bait, stopping at a red light.

“from what i’ve seen thus far, i do,” he nods. “and he’s not alone now. he has his friend with him. i’m sure two can take down one.” seonghwa chooses his words carefully, walking around at the change of the signal. “he loves you too much to leave you behind, birdie.”

“i love him too,” you say, and seonghwa smiles.

“i know,” he looks down at his phone, brows furrowing. “this is the hotel?”

the two of you look at the building ahead. it’s tucked between two large business structures, brands you’ve only seen in ads not target towards you. the hotel could be the fanciest place you’ve ever entered. you glance between him and yourself, clothing thrown together at the last minute. neither of you appear wealthy enough to even look at this place, let alone stay in it. you look at the confirmation wooyoung sent over briefly.

“it’s the place,” you sigh. “a warning to look decent would have been nice.”

entering the lobby is surprising. no one gives you strange looks, customer services unlike anything you’ve experienced. you barely get a word out before bell hops take your bags and guide you to an elevator hidden behind the guard’s desk. they bow as the doors close, seonghwa and you matching the gesture as the doors close. all of it is enough to make seonghwa lean against the wall of the elevator, exhaustion coating his features.

“what did that weasel tell the hotel we were? chaebols?”

the thought doesn’t surprise you at all. from what you’ve seen - seen enough - of wooyoung, you don’t doubt he’d be able to convince everyone that you two were that important. the staff almost insisted on giving you a new pair of shoes to wear before you ran away. the elevator door slides open, the room appearing before you. the two of you hesitate before entering.

the decor is obnoxiously expensive, enough so that you doubt anyone has step foot into this place in months. you place your bag on the dating lined chair carefully.

“so he's a pretentious asshole then?” seonghwa murmurs. you snicker, making your way around the room. “i know they've been around for a while, but i just can't imagine having enough money to afford a place like this.” seonghwa touches the bed that lies in the middle of the room. a box full of chocolates sits on top of the towel in the middle, expensive wine resting next to it. seonghwa's brows furrow as he picks it up. “1954, birdie. it's older than our parents.” he places it carefully on the kitchen table, shaking his head. “it's probably worth more than we'd make in thirty years.”

“he has expensive taste,” you murmur, pushing it further to the middle. your phone vibrates, yeosang's contact appears across the screen. you press it without another thought, reading the message quickly.

yeosang: the two of us will be busy tonight – wooyoung told me he left a few things in the fridge and out and about. also said not to worry about the cost :/ i love you, pretty girl. take care of seonghwa. it shouldn't be more than a few days.

you: please be safe, i love you. tell wooyoung to stay safe too.

yeosang: ♡

“he'll be mia?” seonghwa asks, and you nod, plugging your phone into a nearby outlet.

“he said to take care, and to have anything we'd like. i guess wooyoung already paid in advance,” you sit down at the counter, folding your hands. seonghwa takes the chair across from you, carefully sitting down. you can't help but laugh, his cheeks tinting at the sound.

“they won't charge for your ass print in the cloth.”

he narrows his eyes at you, a slight pout forming on his lips. it's endearing, enough to push your worries far behind. if ever so brief.

“it's best to be careful.”

the next few days are uneventful. yeosang sends you updates in the morning and at night, voice messages filling the air as you wait for anything significant. seonghwa and you slowly grow used to the change in your relationship. it's easier for your lips to press against his temple, his on your cheek. nothing is rushed, no one's boundaries pushed. you tell him stories of things you've done while you two weren't speaking, and he tells you the same. your laughter warms up the cold, emotionless hotel room. on the first and second day seonghwa insisted that you take the largest bed in the middle of the room, he himself sleeping on the couch not too far away. there's other bedrooms around but he's never mentioned it. you know it's for the two of you – just because danger is farther away doesn't mean it can't happen. but on the third he sleeps next to you, fingers reaching for the other's. it is on the sixth day, sitting on the couch near each other, when you receive the call. you're too engrossed in the film to hear your phone vibrate, only the second time when there's a bit of silence do you notice.

seonghwa pauses the movie as you place the phone on speaker, yeosang's photo with you coveting the screen.

“hi yeo–”

“hide. now.” wooyoung’s voice speaks through, quick, resolute. “he found you. you have a couple of minutes, maybe less. we're on our way, but he'll make it first.”

the call ends. you freeze, unable to move. seonghwa grips your arm and pulls you, turning off the television and grabbing your phone off the counter. he hurriedly enters a spare bedroom, glancing around quickly before entering the walk-in closet. he digs through the bag wooyoung gave the two of you, passing you a knife. you take it from him, gripping it tightly. neither of you say a word as you wait. your heartbeat throbs against your eardrum, the thought of a vampire wanting to kill you crawling through the hotel room – if you could only cry. seonghwa sprays the mist around the two of you. wooyoung told you it'd hide your scent temporarily.

seonghwa stares at the closet door, his body fully in front of yours. it shakes, but he holds himself with strength. waiting just as you are.

wood cracking against the wall echoes around the suite. you flinch, hand covering your mouth. you concentrate, desperate to not be the one who tells your position, causes the two of you to die.

glass shatters in the kitchen. before you know it, the closet door is thrown open. you can barely blink before the vampire grips seonghwa’s neck, clawing through it completely. your scream is barely heard over the surrounding chaos in the apartment. you chase after, knife in your hands. the vampire looks at you, eyes narrowing once it sees the weapon in your fingers. still holding seonghwa, it moves to you, fist slamming into your stomach and throwing you to the floor.

“shit,” wooyoung grips the vampire’s neck, dragging him off of seonghwa. there’s little skin on him that’s not torn apart, barely much left in front of you. you crawl over to him, hands hovering over his body, unable to figure out what to do. his gaze slides over to you, shaky hand reaching to grip yours. you do so without missing a beat. their fight continues behind you.

“he’s going to die unless i do something,” yeosang appears next to you. his own body is covered with blood, staining his clothing. he doesn’t look at you but instead, cups seonghwa’s chin and turns his gaze to focus on him. “do you want to die, or become one of us?”

“yeosang-”

he ignores you, eyes on seonghwa. “nod yes, move your eyes up and down if you want to. you’re going to die if not. there’s nothing left to save.”

you want to say something, anything. but yeosang would know better than you. if you called an ambulance, there’s still not enough time for them to do anything worthwhile. if seonghwa says no, he dies. he will die.

you look at seonghwa. his eyes flick to the side, to you. before closing. his nod is barely visible but you see it. you see him shake his head up and down. yeosang’s nail drags across his wrist and presses it against seonghwa’s mouth. he leans down, teeth sinking into his neck. you look away, the muffled screams of seonghwa filling your ears.

“human, we need to get away, now.” wooyoung grabs your arm, pulling you to your feet. “it happens fast. newborns kill the first human they see. you can’t be here,” he tugs on you harshly now, throwing your body into his. you feel numb as he guides you away from your two partners, seonghwa’s body thrashing in pain the last thing you see before you’re pulled out the room.

you aren’t too sure the last time you’ve seen yeosang and seonghwa. wooyoung and hongjoong kept you company several times a week - either the nosy vampire or your friendly friend would stay around your apartment or work for hours at a time. it was to make sure you were okay, you know that, but it grew tiresome. they care for you and you’re endless grateful, but their faces popping up reminded you that the people you love are mia. the last time you heard from yeosang - seonghwa and him were across the country in the middle of nowhere. to teach seonghwa how to interact with humans without ripping their necks. wooyoung explained that for newborns it could take a while - from months to years. you’d wait endlessly for them to come back, that you know. but just… a simple video call would settle your heart a bit. even if it was only for a couple of seconds.

or perhaps you were just being selfish.

“surprise!” wooyoung enters your apartment (he somehow has a key?), several bags tucked beneath his arm. he drops them unceremoniously to the floor, the sound echoing around your place. hongjoong pops up in the doorway just behind him, grinning widely. ah, right.

hongjoong’s partner that he’s been interested in? well, the world is quite small. you just didn’t think the one he’s been writing poetry for would be jung wooyoung.

“go away,” you grumble into your coffee, steam fogging up your glasses. you wipe your index finger against the plastic in a windshield wiper motion, placing your cup to the side. “i said i am fine.”

“you’ve been saying that for months now, we know,” hongjoong points out.

your frown sinks into your cheeks. “then why are you here?”

“good news!” wooyoung hops over the suitcases, throwing his arms around you. you whine at the tight hug, struggling to pull away. he pinches your cheek, pulling away. “those stinky vampires of yours are home~!”

your eyes widen, moving around wooyoung to look at hongjoong. he nods in agreement. he holds up a suitcase. “we thought you might want to go and visit right away, so wooyoung grabbed all of my suitcases from my storage and brought them here.” he glances at them scattered about. “even though i told him we only needed maybe two.”

“yeah yeah,” wooyoung rolls his eyes at his partner, looking back at you. “ready to go?”

home isn’t what you expected it to be. what wooyoung meant by home was actually a large structure in the middle of the woods, dozens of miles away from city center. the idea of it being so far was obvious, but it just brings back the reminder of what happened. of what you’ve done to bring him into this situation. the guilt has sunk into you ever since it’s happened. you brought him around you, into this. and this is the end result.

hongjoong stayed behind for also obvious reasons, the car ride filled with wooyoung’s singing voice as he drove. you pull your luggage out of the car, wooyoung helping you with the other.

“he’s not the same as he was, y/n,” wooyoung explained on the way over. “be careful around him. he may look the same as the human you once knew, but he’s not. he’s a predator now. he can be set off at the slightest trigger.”

you grip the handle tightly as you make your way up the steps. you’re sure the two vampires can hear how your heart beats. trying to focus on settling it did nothing but make it go by faster. wooyoung stands rather close to you as you walk up, almost on top of you. precautionary enough.

“don’t mind if i stay with you three for a bit, right?” he asked you this in the car. “just in case.”

the front door swings open before you could ring the below. you barely get a chance to look at yeosang before his arms are around you, face tucked into the curve of your neck. he smells of mint and lavender, the scents filling your nose as you hug him back. he pulls back only slightly to press his lips against yours softly, hands cupping your face.

“i've counted the days i would get to see you again,” is the first thing that falls from his lips, thumb stroking your cheek. “remind me to never leave your side.”

“i've missed you too,” you say, smiling. you reach up, tucking his hair behind his ear to see his pretty mark. “a lot.”

“come inside,” yeosang glances at wooyoung just behind you. “thank you for bringing her safely.”

“you bet!”

you enter the foyer, the ceilings a couple of stories high. it's quite grand. you shouldn't expect anything less from him when you've slept in his apartment, but it still shakes you how wealthy he truly is. an amount of wealth you'd never get to attain in your short life. the whistle of a breeze makes your head turn to the sound, eyes widening slightly .

seonghwa does not move from where he stands, arms resting against his chest. you hold your breath as you look at him, taking the sight of him in. the last time you saw him he was soaked in blood, barely alive. seeing him fully healed makes the anxiety in your heart lessen. he does not move from where he is, but you can see the look in his eyes. desperate. unsure of what exactly, but your guess wouldn't be far off.

he does look different though.

his skin is clear of blemishes, hair healthier, gaze more focused. oddly still, much like yeosang and wooyoung. you've come to realize all vampires have that slight eerie feeling around them. it's something you've grown used to, makes it easier to spot one. yeosang's hand slides to rests on your waist, holding you close to his side. seonghwa follows the movements, brows slightly furrowed.

“you're okay,” you whisper.

he immediately meets your eyes again. he opens his mouth to speak, closing it again. you can see how his eyes shift to yeosang, not saying a word.

“seonghwa is…” yeosang pauses. “he's been around humans to make sure everything is okay but, he still struggles. i told him that you'll be coming and he didn't think he was ready. i pushed him a bit for this, i admit.”

oh.

he didn't want to see you. no wonder he doesn't move from where he is. the disappointment must clearly be on your face, because seonghwa finally speaks for himself.

“i'm sorry,” voice strained, barely above a whisper. “i'm scared of hurting you, y/n.”

y/n. not birdie.

you nod, reaching to grab your bag in the doorway. wooyoung already has it, stepping past you and hongjoong. he nudges seonghwa on his way past him, “help me put this stuff in her room.”

“okay,” he slowly reaches for the handle, delicately wrapping his fingers around it. the sound isn't loud, but you hear the cracks echo around the quiet home. no one says anything. you try to not make any obvious surprised movements, but you suck in your breath ever so slightly. seonghwa turns to look at you.

fear. fear is what you see now.

“i'm sorry, i didn't mean to, i–”

“no worries,” you say quickly. “it's hongjoong's, not mine. im sure he has so many more thrown around his house somewhere.”

he disappears around the corner with wooyoung. once he does, yeosang pulls you outside, shutting the front door behind him. neither of you exchange words as you walk past the car and down the small dirt trail. his hand leaves your waist and slides into your fingers, holding you tightly. far enough away, he glances to you, lips in a straight line.

“this is hard for him. all of it,” yeosang admits, kicking a small rock out of the way as you meander. “in the beginning he was not… he wanted to die, y/n. and i told him to wait a few days, because newborns often feel that way in the beginning. the hunger is neverending for them. for me, i can feel full. newborns, they cannot. with every breath they want to fill what they have lost. that's why vampires rarely turn humans. it is a painful existence for a few years, never truly getting that burning feeling away until a decade or so has passed. if… if it were any other circumstance, i would have told him everything that comes with it. but we had little time, and he was dying. we had to make a decision then.”

“it must be tortuous for him then.”

yeosang nods slowly. “terribly so. which is why he did not want to see you. but he needs to eventually. it is difficult to explain, but we, our kind, feel emotions differently than humans. more intensely. his need to see you would only exemplify as days past. it would become uncontrollable. so me arranging this was for both his safety, yours, and all of us seeing each other again. he hates the idea right now, but it is better than him suddenly entering your home and doing something he may regret.”

“it's that bad? he would have killed me?”

yeosang moves his head up and down again. “he would have. he could still y/n. he could hurt you. that's why wooyoung will be staying with us as well. to watch him with me. just in case things go sideways.”

“too bad, i thought he was starting to like me,” you say cheerily, laughing at yeosang's frown. “listen, him and hongjoong have been bothering me every day you've been gone. if i hear one more joke i might actually lose it.”

yeosang laughs. “i don't doubt it.”

“but yeo,” you stop walking. “thank you. you… didn't need to do anything like this. you've been taking care of him, and i don't know how i’d ever truly let you know how grateful i really am. you saved him. you've taken care of him. i just,” you wrap your arms around him, sinking into his embrace. “i love you.”

“i love you too, pretty girl. and you don't need to thank me for something so simple. i told you i‘d care for anyone you care about.”

“this visit, yeosang,” you murmur into his chest. “if it's a lot too soon, i can leave before the night ends if that'll be better‐”

“no. and you coming wasn't only for him, i missed you too. and i'd rather you stay for a while.”

despite your worry you hum in agreement, tucking yourself further into his body.

—

neither of the two are around when you walk back instead with yeosang. he murmurs something about them in seonghwa's room as he guides you throughout the house. there isn't much decor around, quite empty, but he explains that he will be leaving his lease behind and moving into this home permanently. the drive with wooyoung took several hours of travel – him being so far away weighs on your mind a bit. you doubt there's anything out here that would hire you. which means less time you three would be together.

“the closest town is not too far down the road, just a few kilometers. they have a lot of places looking to hire, and apartments available if someone wanted to move closer,” yeosang notes.

“good to know.”

he opens your bedroom door. your suitcases rest at the foot of the bed. it's grand – similar to the suite you stayed in with seonghwa a few nights. it's a blank slate though, frames empty, dresser clear of items. your hand brushes along the carved design embedded into the wood, listening to yeosang speak.

“we kept it free of everything so you can pit your personal touch. is it okay?”

you turn around, noticing how worried he looks. you haven't really spoke to him throughout his tour, mind elsewhere. you smile at him, truly genuine. “it's more than okay.”

he lets out a low, relieved breath. “good. i grabbed things and put them in the cupboards. if you ever need anything, everything is up for grabs.”

“lunchtime!” wooyoung’s voice swallows the silence, echoing into your room. you let yeosang take the lead, his hand in yours as you walk down the steps. the clattering of plates and laughter are the first things you hear when you enter the kitchen. wooyoung places a bowl of ramyeon on the table as you enter behind yeosang.

“one bowl for the human, blood for the rest,” wine glasses click against the marble table, filled to the brim with the thickened liquid. yeosang sighs and takes it, glancing inside.

“feeding is usually done without y/n around, woo–"

“it’s an innocent drink, yeosang. nothing more.”

“it's fine,” seonghwa appears around the corner. his eyes rest on your hand holding yeosang's, taking his glass and sitting at the table. “i can handle it.”

“still…” yeosang mumbles. you sit in an empty seat, leaving a space between seonghwa and yourself. his hand tightens around the stem of his glass as you do so, wooyoung taking the spot in between both of you.

“i would have made it on my own but yeosang bought a fuck ton and piled them in the closet. would be a pity to let it go to waste.”

“thank you for the meal–”

“anything for my second favorite human,” wooyoung nudges you, downing his glasses.

conversation flows with ease around the table with the help of wooyoung. your flow of words does not come as easy, your demur obvious the more you try to come up with responses. yeosang can see it so you're sure the others can. after a few more minutes or so of this, the shattering of glass stops conversation. seonghwa stares at the pieces that have fallen, the stem crumbled beneath his harsh grip. his gaze flicks to yours.

“am i supposed to pretend this whole time?”

you thought you'd have a chance to speak to him alone about what happened. to somehow fix what's been broken over time. “hwa–”

“this fake conversation is just useless. you barely looked at me when you entered through the door. you don't even want to sit next to me. but youre all over him, your fingers haven't left his hand since we've sat down. you even went on a little stroll with him. is there nothing to say to me? nothing at all, y/n?”

there's so much to say. so so much. “seonghwa, you've been through a lot. i didn't want to spring everything on you when this is the first time we've seen each other in months–”

“you're still not looking at me.”

you look up from your bowl to stare at him. his irises aren't the dark brown you're used to seeing, light brown staring back. brows furrowed, lips downturned. a scowl the longer your eyes rest on his face. there isn't any warmth there as he looks at you. “i'm sorry.”

wooyoung pushes his chair back, slightly angling himself toward you. seonghwa looks at him briefly. “what do you think i'd do?��

“i don't know, newborn. you guys are kind of unpredictable.”

“wooyoung,” yeosang's voice is laced with warning.

“what? am i not allowed to tell the truth now?”

seonghwa scoffs, “no, please do. you'd be the only one saying it around here.”

“how about we all just take a moment, hm?” yeosang glances between the two of you. your hand has slipped from his once seonghwa has mentioned the touch, though the newborn’s eyes still burn on the space between you. “we haven’t see each other in a while. emotions are bound to rise. wooyoung, can you go out for a moment and leave us?”

wooyoung raises his brow at the suggestion but stands, patting seonghwa on the shoulder as he leaves the room. you’re sure he’s within hearing distance of the three of you, but it does bring a semblance of privacy.

“i didn’t… i thought you would have hated me after all of this,” you admit softly. “i’m not scared of you seonghwa, if that’s what you think. i’m just scared that you’ll never forgive me for what i brought you into. you didn’t choose this, you could have still been a human, oblivious to everything that’s happening. you wouldn’t have had to die,” you close your eyes for a moment, taking a long, deep breath. “i’ve just been waiting for you to blow up on me all day.”

“is that what you’d think i’d do?” seonghwa’s brows tighten, head shaking slightly. “is that what you truly think of me?”

“i wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“birdie,” the way he says the nickname is soft, tender. he does not make a move to get closer to you, but he does shift his body so that it faces yours. “i’ve missed you this whole time. why would i hate you for what i chose? i could have left once i saw that other vampire, but i didn’t. i chose to stay with you, because i want to stay with you. i’d never blame you for it, you didn’t tell that vampire to hurt me. you tried to get it away. we both did. things happened.”

you hear his words, you do. but the longer you look at him, the longer you stare at the faint scar on his neck, the more it hurts. “it could have been prevented.”

“it could have.”

“but it wasn’t.”

he shakes his head, “it wasn’t.”

you stand up from your chair, seonghwa following your movements. you can feel how yeosang watches closely as you move to stand in front of seonghwa, your hand slowly reaching towards his skin. he seems to be holding his breath as you lightly touch his cheek, finger tracing the scar that crosses over his brow, jaggedly curving down to the corner of his lip.

“it hurt,” you whisper. “i could see that it did.”

“it was temporary.”

“you remember the feeling?”

“y/n,” yeosang speaks up this time, but seonghwa ignores him.

he wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you closer to his body. his chest falls at the breath escaping him, hands delicately wrapped around you. your hand does not leave the side of his face as he presses himself into you. “it was the worst pain i’ve ever experienced in my short life. it’s funny how back then i thought nothing would hurt more than you leaving me, and san breaking my heart. it was something so much more different than that.”

his grip around your body slowly tightens. it is not enough to be uncomfortable, but you’re aware of the lost look in his eyes, your fingers dragging around his scalp as he continues.

“i remember seeing you go, i remember yeosang giving me his blood and ending my life. i remember every second i’ve been away from you, every moment i’ve killed an animal because the hunger does not feel like it will end.”

his arms tighten more. this time, yeosang stands up.

“seonghwa, focus.”

he still ignores yeosang’s words, continuing. “every day i thought that you would come, you would call and check on me. but you never came, you never did. i thought that you hated me, i thought you were disgusted with what i’ve become. i thought you gave up on me.”

“i wouldn’t.”

his body shakes. you know from yeosang well that vampires cannot cry, but you feel something wet against the bottom of your sweater. you look down, eyes widening at what you see. instead of tears falling from his eyes, blood seeps through the ducts, dripping down his cheeks, staining the fabric. you try to move his focus but his hold continues to tighten.

it begins to hurt.

“seonghwa–” yeosang grips his arms, ripping them off of your body. you step back only slightly.

it is enough for him to lose himself.

the movements are quick. yeosang holds seonghwa around his waist, wooyoung moving around you to assist. seonghwa continues to sob as he reaches for you around them, jaw tightening, hands gripping their bodies. wooyoung looks back at you with sympathy, before pointing to the corridor.

“my room. now.”

vaguely remembering where it’s located, you quickly make your way to the back of the house. shattered glass and wood cracking echoes around the home as you quickly run up the stairs, entering wooyoung’s room and shutting the door. there’s not much inside aside from his suitcase open, clothes neatly laid out on the sheets.

a body slams against the bedroom door and your heart races, until a painful groan escapes seonghwa’s lips. despite how much you want to look out and see what’s wrong exactly, you don’t. the doorknob clicks and opens, yeosang entering the room and closing it behind him. his body pressed against the closed door as he breathes heavily, fingers running through his blonde hair. he looks at you, sliding down to sit in front of it. you move to sit across from him, gaze flicking between his.

“it was just a small misstep, his emotions are hard to control right now,” yeosang whispers softly, hand reaching for yours. you take it, his shoulders relaxing at your touch. “that subject, that night, it still hasn’t fully settled within him yet.”

“the blood?”

“normal,” he smiles at you. “turned can cry, but their tears make their food supply dwindle. wooyoung took him out to hunt. they’ll be back soon,” he swallows, thinking. “perhaps he was right. this might have been too much for him so soon. i might have been selfishly thinking of seeing you without really settling on what it would have done to him. don’t-” he presses his finger between your brows, rubbing it quickly- “make that face. it is actually my fault this time.”

“what do we do then?”

his head tilts as he leans it against the wood, looking at you. “depends. when they come back wooyoung can bring you back home, though i doubt he’d be amused with driving hours again. or you can stay in your room for the night and we bring you back tomorrow.”

“or…” he leans forward. “we try again. i watch him closely until i know it’s safe enough for you to be with him alone. and we go from there.”

“hm…” you press your finger against your lips, eyes tilted to the ceiling as you pretend to be in thought. yeosang laughs at you, pulling your finger away and pressing his lips against yours.

“i’m not one to assume, but i believe it’s number three?”

“ding!” you grin, and he rolls his eyes.

—

it was easier said than done.

much much easier said than done. wooyoung kept his distance when need be, but he often appeared just when you’ve forgotten him. they went out to feed several times a day, most occurring when yeosang saw a flicker of change in seonghwa when you spent time together. you couldn’t stay forever with them and eventually had to go back home, your weekends spent visiting the two when you could. it worked as good as it could have, though you did miss spontaneously visiting yeosang when you can, the trip now much too far for you to go on a work night. you missed the soft tap of yeosang’s fist against your apartment door, his shy smile as you turned the knob making a tired night less exhausting.

after that first night seonghwa has not crossed a line after it. his touch is often quick and never lingers, but you enjoy it nevertheless. the anger that resided in him became mute, his laughs echoing yours whenever you are around. nothing has really changed in your relationship aside from the lessened amount of touching, but that would grow in time. you’re just enjoying his presence, his light. there isn’t a day that goes by where you don’t video call him, whether it be to complain about your day or listen to his.

“does he miss me?” seonghwa’s voice is light as he asks, though you can feel how heavy the words are.

“he does. you never call him.”

“i know,” he sighs softly. “it’s… it feels different now. i’m not sure what to do if he wants to see me. i don’t know if i’ll be able to handle that.”

“hongjoong would understand, hwa. you know that. him and wooyoung are together almost everyday.”

sometimes you forget yourself how involved they are. until you call hongjoong and hear the recognizable laugh echoing in the back. he's understanding, endlessly, knows how difficult it is for seonghwa to approach him. you look at seonghwa in the call, thinking.

“you have that look on your face.”

“what…” the tone of your voice is pitched, hiding the smile. “we can video call now. if you want.”

“the three of us?”

you wouldn't let him go through it it alone if he didnt want it. “of course.”

dialing hongjoong's number is quick. his grin is wide when he answers, eyes widening when he sees seonghwa on the call as well. there's a brief silence before hongjoong breaks it with a silly joke of his. seonghwa’s laughs, and it moves on from there. eventually you leave them alone to catch up, the weight on your chest lifting. hours pass when you receive a message from the both of them separately.

hwa: im forever grateful for you, birdie. thank you.

hongjoong: dude… now what if i was naked?? at LEast prep me!

—

“there's no reason for you to be so cold!”

“i told you we're fine. aren't you going on a trip with hongjoong in a couple days? go bother him,” yeosang waves wooyoung off, hand pressed against his face as he tries to lean in for an embrace. he sighs, attempt forgotten as he looks at you. he gives you the familiar look – lips protruding, eyes narrowed. it would have worked if you didn't see the glare yeosang sinks into his face, unbeknownst to wooyoung.

so you merely shrug, adjusting yourself into the soft cushions. “he's the boss around here, not me.”

“we both know he listens to anything you say. come on,” wooyoung's frown deepens. “do you not like me around?”

“we've had a large dose of your presence lately, perhaps a few nights away wouldn't hurt. or several. a month wouldn't be so horrible,” yeosang grips wooyoung's luggage, dragging it out and down the hallway. wooyoung’s groans could be heard from where you rest, your amused smile shifting to seonghwa as he walks into the room.

he glances down the hall at the two bickering, shaking his head as he sits neck to you. without prompt, you adjust yourself to make him more comfortable. instead of his usually avoidance of your touch, his hand wraps around your wrist lightly, tugging you. with questions in your eyes you follow his lead, until your body is pressed against his, head resting on his chest. his scent is still as it was when he was human – lavender, a hint of vanilla. his arm wraps around you, hand resting on your arm.

“i found that yeosang has grown tired of wooyoung hanging around everyday.”

“they used to be together, you know,” you point out.

“really?” you nod, sinking further into his body. “can't imagine it, they bicker like lifelong enemies. every time one of them enters the room the other points out something and they get into an argument.”

“ah, no wonder yeosang wants him gone.”

“he's out, finally,” yeosang enters the room, sighing loudly. “can you tell hongjoong to keep him hostage for a while? i don't think i can handle another dose of him anytime soon.”

“i'll send him a text,” you snicker, opening your phone and doing just that. you do not question how seonghwa embraces you, his body relaxed. it's taken so long for him to even kiss you, so this – you could just cry if you thoughts lingered on it anymore.

yeosang sits on the opposite side of you. “good riddance.”

“he's been so nice to have around,” you point out. “even i started getting along with the asshole.”

“nice is an exaggeration,” seonghwa mumbles.

“don't be mean… or else i'll make you walk down that path with him.”

"how will i be able to walk away now that i finally have you here with us?" his brow lifts, a small smile on his lips. "you’ve entrapped me too deeply in your embrace for me to leave. unfortunately for you, you're stuck with me. it will take more than a mere scolding for me to walk away. and i am very sure seonghwa feels the same, no?" yeosang's gaze moves to your lover. the warm expression does not go unnoticed by you, so surely yeosang sees it as well. his grin grows wicked, giggles falling from his lips. "i love when you look unsettled."

"you know i hate the teasing," there's no malice in seonghwa's voice as he says it. "birdie should have chosen someone more tolerable to love. all you do is annoy me."

yeosang nudges his thigh with his foot. "ah ah, you enjoy me too much for her to push me away. and i'm prettier than any of the other men."

seonghwa gasps, widening his eyes. "and you're an asshole!"

"it's the face i was born with, there's nothing i can change about it," he shrugs.

“a pompous asshole, then.”

the jabs back and forth as you watch do nothing but make you ponder. their relationship has evolved over the half year since they first met. their indifference to each other is no longer that. neither has expressed to you that their relationship is anything more than platonic, but the small changes have not gone unnoticed by you. the subtle gazes they send one another, the affection as they tease, the lingering eyes. the eyes are what has stood out to you the most. gazes often wandering to settle on each other's lips. even wooyoung has not let certain moments slip by – teasing often moving into heavy silence. you're not one to push for confesses, but as yeosang has told you two before, if things change, it should be spoken. you wouldn't be bothered if they cared for each other as you do for them, you would just like to know about it. secrets don't settle well, as you've grown to learn.

“can i ask you two a question?” you say between the beat of silence, looking at yeosang. you're unable to directly look at seonghwa due to the position you have settled in, but your hand brushes against his to bring his attention forward. “has something happen between you two? have things changed?”

“in what way?” seonghwa asks simply. and it is a valid retort, though you're sure he knows what you're inferring.

“do you two want a relationship beyond what we have arranged now?”

yeosang is not one to be caught off guard, but you can see how the inquiry has unsettled him, the usually calm demeanor of his stilling. his eyes move to the man that holds you in his embrace. you lean up despite wanting to linger there longer so you're able to gauge their reactions together. seonghwa's eyes are worried as they stare at yeosang, teeth sinking into his lower lip.

“i don't want to push anything if you aren't ready to discuss it, but i can feel that something is happening. i just don't know what exactly.”

yeosang’s fingers comb through his hair, eyes scattered. “it's complicated.” he looks at you, smile small. “it wasn't meant to end up this way.”

“you make it seem like it is the end all be all,” your joke falls flat as you glance between them, the air somehow growing colder. “have you both lost feelings for me?”

“no,” seonghwa says almost immediately, shaking his head. “if anything they’ve grown.”

“then i don’t understand why you’re looking at me like you’ve broken my heart,” you admit. yeosang glances at seonghwa again, before turning his body fully towards you.

“let me preface this all by saying that we haven't been intimate without you knowing, y/n. we would never do such a thing, ever. seonghwa, he and i… since i am the vampire that turned him, we will always be tethered. he will always hold something for me in his heart. i have told him this a few months ago, let him know that if he feels unsettled it's because of this. and we've talked it out, acknowledged it. i didn't think it was necessary to tell you right away since it didn't really affect anything. it wasn't a secret, it just wasn't my first thought. but things began to change recently.”

“how recently?” you ask.

“a couple of weeks ago, i suppose? everything was normal between us. we were still friends. and then things changed overnight for us both. as i’ve stated prior, i have always found seonghwa attractive. but since i was involved with you, and was not interested in anyone but you, that is how far it has ever went. until a few weeks ago. he and i were practicing his restraint in the livingroom,” yeosang looks at him. “it was a simple exercise. i held warm human blood in front of him, forcing him to endure the smell. he’s learned self-control quite well over the past few months, so it was moving along as usual. but as we were conversing, i’m not sure what changed. we began indulging in conversation other than simple small talk, speaking of our lives. i comforted him on the lost of his, embracing his body - and that’s when i felt my own feelings shift a bit. he must have seen the look on my face because we separated after that, and avoided one another for days. wooyoung was the one who forced us into a room together to discuss our feelings.”

“it was hard,” seonghwa murmurs. “i’ve dealt with so much this past year, so this sudden onslaught of feelings was overwhelming, to say the least. i mean, we-” he gestures between the two of you- “haven’t even moved forward in our relationship because of what happened to me. how could i grow feelings for someone else? it just didn’t make sense to me. especially now with this new life of mine. i thought the emotions were stemming from our blood attachment, but i realized it was much more than that. completely different.”

you’re unable to speak, letting their words settle. at another time, maybe, it would be upsetting, knowing that in your absence they began loving each other. the only feeling that you can discern is relief. before that night of terror you didn’t know how this relationship would turn out. if it would even survive past a year. and of course, there is still no guarantee that it would last, but knowing that they care for each other as you care for them is soothing. the only way it’d be hurtful if they hid it from you.

“love is a reach for me right now,” seonghwa says. “but i can very much imagine that feeling emerging in the near future.”

“you humans make things so complicated,” yeosang murmurs.

“i’m not even human anymore!”

“live a few hundred more years and then maybe i’d consider it,” yeosang reaches for you, your hand entwining with his without a word. “pretty girl, you’re silent. tell me what you’re thinking.” seonghwa leans forward as well, hand resting against your thigh.

your lips rise, a small laugh huffed from your lips. “nothing really. i’m just happy.”

yeosang’s brow raises. “happy?”

“i mean, all i wanted was for you two to get along well, maybe become friends. now i don’t really need to worry about that. i was happy that seonghwa had you while he was going through this, and now i’m even more happy that he has you for more than that.”

“us, pretty girl,” yeosang’s fingers squeeze yours. “he has us.”

“you speak as if i’m not here,” seonghwa scowls, looking back at you. “are you sure this is okay with you, birdie. no hidden feelings?”

“none,” and that you’re sure of. there isn’t even an inkling of dismay cast in your thoughts. “is that why you told wooyoung to go away?”

yeosang sighs, “he’s been around for too long, that’s why. we also did want to spend some time together, but we didn’t want to progress any further until you knew of it. and it’s a bonus - now i don’t need to see those eyebrows of his wiggling every time i give seonghwa a glass of wine.”

“wine?” you look back at seonghwa. “you drink wine? you hated wine.”

“i did,” seonghwa agrees. “but it’s disgusting taste quells my hunger for a bit. makes temporarily abstaining from drinking blood easier.”

yeosang laughs at the look on your face. “that’s exactly how i looked at him when he told me the same.”

—

the sounds of your knife sliding through the mango echo around the quiet kitchen. seonghwa’s presence made you jump when you felt his lips press behind your ear, a soft sorry whispered in your ear before he sat at the island, watching you. you haven’t spoken up and neither has he, merely observing as you slurp the fruit, licking the tips of your fingers as you do so. you’re so involved in your own world that you have yet to notice yeosang watching along with him, their eyes glued on your mundane behavior. but soon enough, your gaze glances forward, startled when you see the two vampires’ gazes on yours. you begin to snort, until your irises meet seonghwa’s. the last time you’ve seen a gaze like his is when yeosang feeds, his soft brown eyes completely darkened. you stop in your cutting, gaze moving to yeosang. he is no better than the other, pale hands gripping the back of seonghwa’s chair.

“did i do something wrong?” your voice is barely audible, placing the knife to the side. “are vampires allergic to mangos?” the whine that spills from seonghwa’s lips is so heavy, you still as he places his head in his hands.

“hwa-”

“birdie, you really don’t know your affect on me?” he murmurs, rubbing his hands up and down his face. “it makes me wonder how obtuse you can possibly be?”

“she’s vaguely aware,” yeosang grins, eyes trained on your hands. “but i don’t think she truly knows how in tune we are to her. frustrating, is it not?”

“truly,” seonghwa shakes his head. “am i ready now?”

yeosang tilts his head, thinking. “i cannot tell. it’s been a few weeks now without incident, but again, things can change in an instant.”

it’s as if you’re not there at all. “hello?”

their eyes meet yours briefly, the surly looks enough to quiet you. yeosang has told you how he can hear the pick up of your heartbeats, the smell of you. so you try your best to control your own meandering thoughts, mangos swirling in your mind instead. just as you begin to slide another slice into your mouth, seonghwa stands, grabbing the cutting board and sliding it closer to him. you whine, and he frowns.

“do you not understand how i hunger for you, birdie? you keep on making those noises, and it’s making me desperate.”

oh.

you slowly chew, unable to hold back the grin that draws itself on your lips. “imagining me sucking your dick?”

“an unsexy way of saying that, but yes,” he agrees.

yeosang hums, letting go of the chair. “then we discuss it.”

the look you both give yeosang is enough to make him shrug, sitting down in his chair. “you both have praised me for my open communication!”

“less talking this time, please?” seonghwa nearly begs on his knees as he says the words. “listen to your elders.”

“i’m several hundred years older than you.”

“and you are still frozen at an age younger than me, so who’s really the winner here?”

“i never realized how terrible you are at math, hyung.”

seonghwa’s eyes widen at that, words lost. yeosang merely rolls his eyes, gesturing for you to sit. you follow his instruction as he clears his throat. “the talk is short. actually just a few sentences, really. pretty,” yeosang smiles at you. “seonghwa and i want to make love to you, desperately. due to seonghwa’s nature now, we cannot risk him having sex with you on his own without someone at least listening in. but me standing outside would be too risky, just in case things get out of hand. so…”

“you want to have sex with me together?” you raise your brow.

they both nod.

“okay by me.”

the look on seonghwa’s face is humorous. without another word he stands, pulling you from your seat. you yelp as you’re thrown over his shoulder. his slim figure makes you forget how strong he truly is now, laughing as you’re dragging to another room. yeosang is close behind him, meeting your eyes briefly.

“now?” you say between giggle, patting seonghwa’s back.

“now. i really am sorry i’m so eager, but i’ve waiting nearly a year for this moment, birdie. a bit of enthusiasm from you goes a long way.” you cannot help but let your laugh escape your throat, yeosang matching your tone with ease. your eyes meet one another as seonghwa turns down the hallway, passing by your room in favor of his. you have never felt such warmth spilling from your chest, such hope and love like this.

before meeting yeosang, you didn’t quite believe in anything solid - assuming that with each passing moment something would break, something would hurt. and though you’ve both hurt while you are together, each in different ways, the horrible misery that you’d feel is no longer there. the hurt, the humiliation, the rancid taste in your mouth gone. he helped you, guided you to where you are now. perhaps you knew as you sat at that bar, liquor sitting in your stomach, drowning yourself in alcohol so your thoughts became nothing. maybe you knew then, seeing the soft smile of the stranger next to you hold your gaze.

perhaps you knew that sometimes love is this simple.

#fic: from eden #yeosang x reader #seonghwa x reader #kang yeosang x reader #park seonghwa x reader #ft.#wooyoung x reader #hongjoong x reader #ateez fanfiction #ateez angst #ateez fluff

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