#yeti saliva

[rjavenuru]

This dumbass just makes me happy. That's all there is to it. 😂

#aurelio voltaire #goth #gothic homemaking #yeti saliva #chicken bones #diy #silly dumbass man

[sparkbeast20]

Struck Together with Lucifer x MC

Though what I have in mind is Lucifer and MC getting struck together in someplace far away from civilization, fighting for survival when a Devildom monster (like shark or crocodile or yeti). Lucifer has to use magic to create a shield or something to stop the monster from attacking them, which puts him in a tight spot and doesn’t have energy to kill the monster (maybe combine it with the eldest getting injured in the first place).

Yeah, I’m a fan of those films where big animals or monsters killing human.

Trope Fic: Stuck Together (Lucifer X MC)

What did you expect? You and Lucifer have been stuck inside this temple with a giant ass Keda Komodo (A Devildom's version of a Komodo Dragon) keep you two there since it too dangerous to face that damn thing with its toxic saliva can kill you and seriously hurt Lucifer.

Added that fact that this Temple is messing with Lucifer's Magic, which makes thing harder to leave. You two were leave with only this choice of staying inside the temple and wait for rescue to come. Which it will, since it'll time someone from the house of Lamentation to point out that you two are gone for any of them to try and go search for you two.

"I'm sorry." After rethink how you both are stuck in this situation because you needed a topic for a project and someone to accompany you to this site, you can't help to apoloiges.

"Why?" He ask as he peek through the crack of the walls of the temple to see if the Keda is still out there.

"This is all my fault. I shouldn't have ask you to accompany me here. And should have asked one of the others with this."

"Does that matter now? Even if one of my brothers were in my place right now. Things would still end up like this."

"Still! You're a busy person! You shouldn't waste your time with a task like this when you have better things to do-"

"Even if that was the case, I will always make time for you" Lucifer cuts you off and that whole ass sentence took you by surprise.

"What?"

He sighs and turn to face you "When I knew that this was my change to get some alone time without anyone interfering. I gladly make sometime for you"

"Really?"

"Yes, really. However I didn't expect being trap in a temple with a Keda Komodo right outside to be apart of it"

"At least we don't have to lie about how we were gone for the whole day" You smile at him.

He smile back before taking a sit next to you and move closer. "Still, I'm glad that I got stuck in this situation with you."

"Yeah, me too" You slowly crawl your hand over to his and both you intertwine your fingers together.

At that point, you both were fine if it takes longer for the others to find you two.

#obey me #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me trope fic

[kemetic-dreams]

        Was Russian 'Bigfoot' actually an African slave?

A leading British geneticist, who recently found the DNA key that could answer the mystery of the ‘Yeti’, has now solved the riddle of Russia’s own Bigfoot, ‘Zana’.

Bryan Sykes, Professor of Human Genetics at the University of Oxford, has carried out DNA tests on saliva samples taken from descendants of Zana - a so-called ‘wild woman’ captured in the late 19th century in southern Russia, who local people believe was an ‘Almasty’.

Professor Sykes’ research (part of a worldwide analysis of alleged Bigfoot samples), has yielded a remarkable result: that Zana's ancestry was 100% Sub-Saharan African and that she was most probably a slave brought to the region by the ruling Ottomans.

His findings feature in a new Channel 4 documentary series, Bigfoot Files (November 3rd), presented by Mark Evans, who is on a global quest to unlock the real story of Bigfoot.

Zana’s story is extraordinary. She is said to have been captured in the forests of Abkhazia, a remote part of Russia’s Caucasus region, in the 1870s. Imprisoned, it's said, for two decades by a local landowner, she was described by eyewitnesses as being ‘very big, strong, her whole body covered with hair’. Chillingly, Zana had four children with local men.

Russia's 'Almasty Hunters' have been obsessed with her story for over half a century and have always believed that Zana could be a surviving Neanderthal, the human-like species that is thought to have died out tens of thousands of years ago.

To answer the riddle and establish what species she belonged to, Professor Sykes has tested samples from six of Zana's living descendants. He has also recovered DNA from a tooth taken from the skull of one of her sons, Khwit. Such work is highly specialized and Sykes was the first geneticist ever to extract DNA from ancient bone.

The results are complex and fascinating. First, they show that Zana was, in fact, no more Neanderthal than many of the rest of modern humans. When the Neanderthal genome was sequenced in 2010 it became clear that Europeans and Asians contain around 2 to 4% of Neanderthal DNA; almost certainly the result of interbreeding.

But the big surprise in Sykes' results was that Zana's DNA is not Caucasian at all, but African. Khwit's tooth sample confirms her maternal African ancestry and the saliva tests on the six living descendants show that they all contain African DNA in the right proportions for Zana to have been genetically 100% sub-Saharan African.

“The most obvious solution that springs to mind is that Zana or her ancestors were brought from Africa to Abkhazia as slaves, when it was part of the slave trading Ottoman Empire, to work as servants or labourers,” says Professor Sykes. “While the Russians ended slavery when they took over the region in the late 1850s, some Africans remained behind. Was Zana one of them, who was living wild in the forest when she was captured?“

But that theory would not explain her extraordinary features, described by reliable eyewitnesses. There is an even more intriguing alternative theory. Having carefully studied the skull of Zana's son, Khwit, Professor Sykes believes there are some unusual morphological skull features – such as very wide eye sockets, an elevated brow ridge and what appears to be an additional bone at the back of the skull – that could suggest ancient, as opposed to modern, human origins.

And Sykes has raised the bold theoretical possibility that Zana could be a remnant of an earlier human migration out of Africa, perhaps tens of thousands, of years ago. If correct, Zana could be evidence of a hitherto unknown human 'tribe', dating from a distant time when the human species was still evolving and whose ancestors were forced into remote regions, like the Caucasus mountains, by later waves of modern humans coming out of Africa.

One of the Russian Almasty hunters, Dr Igor Burtsev, offers testimony in the Channel 4 documentary that may back this theory up. He unearthed Khwit's skull in 1971 and a few years later, showed it to a group of anthropologists in Moscow. They were, he says 'amazed', and identified a mix of 'primitive' and 'progressive' (modern) features in the skull. Lacking the scientific tools at Sykes' disposal, they could take it no further.  Now Sykes is able to propose the theory with some confidence.

It is only a theory at this stage - and a bold and speculative one at that. But Professor Sykes intends to study it much further before reaching his final conclusions.

Zana’s story will feature in Bigfoot Files on Channel 4 on Sunday, November 3rd at 8.00pm. In the programme Mark Evans also meets former heavyweight boxing champion of the world, seven foot tall Nikolai Valuev, who admits to having a bit of a Neanderthal look himself. He is now Duma Deputy (the equivalent of an MP) for Kemerovo in Siberia and fascinated in Almasty. The programme also investigates some of the other claimed sightings of the creatures in Russia.

The series, made by Icon Films, examines the stories behind famous Bigfoot sightings and Mark Evans meets people who believe passionately that other species of hominid exist. A book by Professor Sykes about his research The Yeti Enigma: A DNA Detective Story will be published by Coronet in Spring 2014.

#zana #russian #russia #russians #bigfoot #mark evans #nikolai valuey #siberia #dna #african #kemetic dreams

[zacharyleartist69]

Visiting Eddie the Yeti (Second Part)

(If you miss Part One, it'll be linked here.)

———————————————————————

It's been two days since the crew left the Kong Island, Funky is snoring away on the passage seat while Swanky flies the plane while Diddy and DK look out the window to see they are close to Antarctica.

Diddy lights up as soon as he sees the icy waters and snowy islands "We're here!". Funky chokes on his saliva, startled from the yelling "Huh?... Oh shit we are". Swanky chuckles softly at them "indeed, there is the main area of all of the snowy islands around. That's where we're going."

"That very big island there?" DK asked.

"Yup" Swanky answered charmingly, "Now hold on tight, I'm going to land this plane". Swanky tilt the steering wheel down to make the plane downward, which the others hold on tightly.

The cold breeze soon hit their faces and flow through their fur as they go down. It's not an ordinary weather cold back home, the freeze is unbearable for any outsiders to take. Thankfully, Funky and DK has thick coats to keep themselves warm, but Diddy and Swanky... not so much.

Swanky soon landed the plane on the snowy ground and turns off the engine "Is everyone okay?".

Diddy is shivering violently from the cold as he shakes his head. DK gently scoops up Diddy and wraps his arms around him to keep him warm "it's okay, I got cha". Diddy sighed in relief as he feels the warmth then snuggles up "Thanks".

"So this is Antarctica huh" Funky lowers his sunglasses and look around. "Well part of it" Swanky said as he jumps down to get off the plane then adjust his coat, "The main area of this place is in the middle, that's where we're going".

Funky takes off his sandals and put on his boots before jumping off the plane next to Swanky "DK, there is boots around you so that you can wear them".

"Okay!" DK yelled then puts Diddy down and quickly put on his boots. Diddy peaked out of the plane, shivering "D D Dad, can I come down?". Funky chuckles at Diddy and opened his arms "Come on, kiddo, I'll catch ya". Diddy immediately jumped down into Funky's arms and snuggles up close.

DK soon falls down, face flat on the ground after attempting to jump "Ow".

Funky burst out laughing as he points at DK while Swanky goes through his backpack and put some earmuffs and a thicker scarf on Diddy "come on you two, let us not forget why we're here". DK spit out some snow then gets up on his feet "Right, I'm just not used to wearing boots".

"Shi if you want frost bites on your feet, then be my guest" Funky said jokingly.

DK huffed at Funky but shrugs it off. He turns his attention to Swanky as he dusts himself off "Where are we heading, Swanks". Swanky takes out a compass from his pocket and looks at it "It shouldn't be far; all we have to do is walk North and we'll be there in no time".

"Cool, lead the way" DK said then Swanky started walking with DK and Funky following behind.

The journey was heavy for the crew since they are not used to the cold environment, aside from Swanky. Thankfully, DK, Funky, and Swanky are strong enough to push pass the strong winds. However, Diddy is holding onto Funky as long as he can for warmth. Soon, the crew manage to find a cave in the distance.

Funky holds Diddy closely as he covers his face a bit "is that it?".

"Not quite but we can rest there" Swanky suggested. "Shit might as well, it's freezing out here" DK complained then starts walking to the cave with Funky and Swanky following behind him.

The crew soon makes their way to the cave and settled inside. Swanky takes off the backpack then skims through it to take out a flashlight and turns it on "Thank you for packing this, Funky". Funky laughs a bit as he looks at Swanky then down at Diddy "You okay?".

"Y yeah, just cold" Diddy answered with a small stutter. Swanky takes up a traveling cup and gives it to Diddy "here, darling, this will keep you warm".

DK looks around the cave in awe "Now this is an icy paradise, look how clear this cave is". Funky puts Diddy down as he whistles "No kidding, you can practically see yourself in this".

Diddy takes a peek into the icy wall and laughs to himself until he pauses for a moment. He squints his eyes a bit to see it closely then turns around and looks up "uh... guys".

The Kongs turn their attention to Diddy then where he is looking.

the crew froze as they stare into the eyes of the shadowed figure. The figure's eyes are pure white. No emotion. Just... glaring at them. Soon the figure comes out of the shadows in full sprint; revealing a very tall creature, covered in white fluffy fur, razored sharp teeth and claws, but wears a cloak with a small icy crystal to hold the cloak in place. It let out a roar, causing the cave to shake violently.

Funky and DK gets in front of Diddy and Swanky, ready to swing at the creature but Swanky cups up a pile of snow off the ground and throws it at the creature.

The creature's eyes fade into its normal state and shakes its head to get the snow off of its face then looks at Swanky.

Swanky crosses his arms as he narrows his eyes at the creature "Eddie....".

Eddie flinches a little then looks away feeling embarrassed "Eddie's Sorry...". Swanky sighs softly at him and pat his arm gently "it's okay, you didn't scare us".

"Haha yeah totally- thank god I don't wear pants I almost shit myself" DK whispers the last part anxiously.

Swanky shot a glare at DK then laughs a bit nervously "He doesn't mean that". Eddie bows his head in guilt and reaches his hand out to them "Eddie no threat... Eddie friend".

DK and Funky looks at each other, a bit concerned, until Diddy reach his hand out to touch Eddie's hand. Eddie is taken aback from the sudden touch and looks down at the young Kong. "Your hands are um... warm for a yeti" Diddy commented, hoping it doesn't come out wrong.

Eddie blinks a bit as he looks down at Diddy then burst out laughing. HIs laugh echos the cave which cause the surrounding to shake. Diddy tries to stay in place but slips and falls down on the floor with a yelp "Shit!".

Eddie soon calms down and whip a tear from his eye "Eddie like young monkey, who is thee Eddie speaks too".

"Uh... Diddy?" Diddy answered a bit nervously.

Eddie looks up to see DK and Funky then turns his head to look at Swanky as he points at them "Who are they?". Swanky walks next to Funky and put his hand on his arm "I'm happy you asked; This Kong right here is Funky Kong, he is my husband". Funky clears his throat and waves his hand up to greet Eddie "Yo!".

Eddie waves at Funky back happily "Hello Funky".

"And this is my brother Donkey Kong the Third, or you can call him DK for short" Funky chuckles as he bumps his elbow against DK's arm. DK rubs his arm with a small huff then look up at Eddie with a small smile "Uh... Hi". Eddie widens his eyes as he stares down at DK then moves his head close to him "You...".

DK backs up a bit "Whoa- aha what you mean by 'you'?".

Eddie soon started moving deep into the cave, which DK immediately followed. Funky put his hand out to grab DK but quickly got rejected by him "DK wait up!".

"Wait for us Dad!" Diddy shouted and started running to keep up with Funky. Swanky immediately pulls him close to him "Oh no let's not follow them". "What- but dad we can't just leave them alone like that" Diddy protested as he crosses his arms.

Swanky narrow his eyes a little, looking down at Diddy "if you go deeper into the cave, you will freeze, and we don't want that do we?". Diddy frowns at him then shakes his head "No...".

"It's better to leave them be" Swanky added as he bops Diddy's nose, "Trust me... you don't want to see within the deep ends of the cave".

.

.

.

To be Continued...

#donkey kong #funky kong #swanky kong #diddy kong #eddie the yeti #donkey kong jr #king k rool #donkey kong country #nintendo #original content #final part

[hobibearshopify]

10 items you need to add to your summer vacation packing list

With summer right around the corner, planning a summer vacation offers a glimmer of hope for many Americans. Whether you plan to vacation close to home, explore the outdoors or travel abroad, packing your bags will be the first order of business.

And packing strategically means less stress and more fun while you're away.

From desert air to salty shores and every travel destination in between, having these 10 summer vacation must-haves on hand will put the easy living in your summer vacation.

1. Bug Bite Thing Suction Tool

You know what can ruin a vacation fast? A lingering, itchy bug bite, that’s what.  Bug Bite Thing. First seen on "Shark Tank," the suction tool quickly and easily extracts insect saliva and venom from a bug bite, alleviating all itching, stinging and swelling symptoms. Amazon’s No. 1 seller for bug bite relief, the “Thing” has more than 47,000 reviews and, given its efficacy, is well worth the $10 price tag.

 2.Away The Insider Packing Cubes, Set of 6

We never met packing cubes we didn’t like, and that includes this set from luggage brand Away. Available in seven colors, the packing cubes are made of water-resistant nylon that can protect your clothes, with breathable mesh toppers that allow you to easily see what’s inside.

3.AirPods Pro

Apple’s AirPods Pro are a no-brainer for anyone vacation-bound thanks to their noise-canceling ability. Featuring a customizable fit with three ear tip size options, the Pros boast incredible sound — whether you’re listening to playlists, podcasts or Netflix streams — and they’re sweat- and water-resistant (IPX4), making them great for exercise and adventuring alike. Or, opt for Beats Fit Pro instead, our pick for the best wireless earbuds for Apple users.

4.Yeti Hopper Backpack Soft Cooler

While we love all of Yeti’s soft and hard coolers, this backpack option holds a special place in our hearts. Why? Because it’s hands-free! Part backpack, part cooler, the Hopper M20 is perfect for hikes, beach days or boating adventures, allowing users to wear their cooler while hauling the rest of their gear with free hands. It can hold 18 beer cans with ice or 26 pounds of ice, and cold-cell foam technology insulation will keep your beverages icy all day long. Looking to spend less? Target’s got a daintier, less-rugged option for $39.99.

5.Protect Life Travel First Aid Kit

Safety first! Packed with everything you might need for a minor emergency, this ultra-portable kit will have you covered for scrapes, burns, splinters, gashes and more.

6.Hobibear Flip-Flop

Looking for something a little more casual? Check out the Hobibear Men‘s flip flops, which are waterproof and made of good materials and fine workmanship with comfortable arch support and rugged enough footbed. Mens flip flops with thick cushioned sole and rugged foot bed have supplies great traction for handle long walksSuitable for many occasion, such as casual or semi formal,sand, dirt, pavement, lake/oceans,even hiking

7.Anti-Theft Laptop Travel Backpack

If you don’t want to break the bank on a travel backpack — we get it, the trip alone breaks the bank! — Amazon’s got you covered with this anti-theft option. It comes with a fixed lock, can fit a laptop and has pockets galore. In addition to its luggage strap, the backpack also has a top handle, a USB port and adjustable straps.

8. Handheld Mini Fan

If you're packing for summer, chances are you're packing for hot weather. And whether you're standing in line for a ride at Disney World or lounging poolside at a resort, staying cool is key. This battery-powered, rechargeable handheld mini fan, which comes in five different color options, offers up to 21 hours of cooling time on one charge.

9.Portable Phone Charger

Cellphones play a crucial role in our lives. Whether you’re an Apple or Android user, your phone has your entire life saved within it.From finding emergency contacts to clicking pictures to posting new photos on social media to enjoying Netflix to browsing the internet, our daily life revolves around our cellphones.

A phone needs to be charged from time to time for proper utilization.

The hustle of forgetting or misplacing your phone’s charger can create a distressing situation and ruin your overall fun. That means you need to pack a charger to keep your phone charged and capture all the moments throughout the trip.  

You can also carry a portable charger as a backup battery. Toss it in your handbag/tote bag/small backpack or whatever you decide to carry on, and keep charging your phone when you’re on the go.

10. Sunglasses are a summer essential

Sunglasses are a summer essential, but understanding the entire lifecycle of a product’s production is important when it comes to the health of our planet. Keep your eyes protected on the road by purchasing sunglasses from brands that are committed to sustainability!

[golden-wingseos]

when you get injured

featuring —

✧ albedo x f!reader, xiao x gn!reader

warnings ―

✧ not proofread, reader is a polearm user, traveler is lumine (reader is not traveler), gore, descriptions of blood

notes ―

✧ hehe albedo, also xiao’s kind of rushed! i apologize

𝑨𝑳𝑩𝑬𝑫𝑶 — ❝ ᴋʀᴇɪᴅᴇᴘʀɪɴᴢ ❞

dragonspine was no utopia

except... maybe for those snow-adjusted fatui. their camps infested the mountain everywhere like leeches, invading your peaceful day like an unwanted raccoon digging through your boons

and yet, the one day you were not met with the sight of fatui (thank barbatos), you were instead met with a beautiful, agonizing, frostarm lawachurl (no thank you barbatos)

Incredulously, you smiled in exasperation. No, no way there was a Frostarm Lawachurl in the middle of nowhere—not when you were leisurely making your way down from Albedo’s camp!

(Fun Fact: There was in fact a Frostarm Lawachurl.)

And, very unfortunately for you (and your fluffy coat), the yeti managed to spot you like a sore thumb, sticking out pretentiously in the white backdrop of Dragonspine.

Materializing your polearm in the palm of your hand, you stabbed the staff into the snow, readying yourselves for a very unprepared battle.

“Let’s make this quick, shall we?” Grinning, icicles ricocheted towards your direction.

―

“Do you perhaps feel anything different?” Albedo asked, examining the Traveler as she chugged down the potion, her face morphing into confusion from the bubbling sensation in her stomach.

“My stomach... burns,” Lumine mumbled, staring at the now-empty beaker.

“I see. That’s good, I was expecting such a result,” Dismissing the complaint, Albedo turned back to his main table, ignoring the complaints and demands from Paimon as teal eyes picked up a familiar figure in the distance.

“...?” Craning his head to adjust to the sudden sight, his eyebrows raised in surprise upon the daunting realization that the ‘familiar figure’ was none other than . . .

You.

“Huh?!” Paimon and Lumine both exclaimed, their jaws hanging open.

―

Impaling your spear into the chest of the lawachurl, a small sigh left your lips as soon as its body disintegrated into a fine dust.

The sweat on your forehead chilled at the touch of the wind, a furious blizzard forming as you spared no time glancing around, [e/c] eyes widening in shock at the sight of a pale-blonde male rushing towards you.

Rushing as in speedwalking—of course, Albedo would never lose his grace when it came to any matter!

“[Y/N]...” His voice held the faintest hues of urgency as a gloved finger rested on the bottom of your chin, tilting it slightly as he seemed to examine the side of your face.

“Oh, hi Albed—“

“We need to get you back to my camp,” A hand resting on the small of your back, the alchemist led you back to his rustic laboratory, the Traveler following as a bodyguard. 

“What? Why? I’m fine—“ 

Lifting his gloves up, Albedo revealed the trickles of crimson red liquid, coming personally from your face.

“Huh...?” Holding a hand up to feel the side of your forehead, the blonde stopped you midway as to shield the wound from any possible infection your fingertips may carry.

“You do not feel anything because of adrenaline, but once it dies down it will hurt quite a bit. I apologize for not escorting you down myself. I will not let this happen again,” The alchemist was poised, but you could see in the churn of his oceanic irises that he was anything but calm and collected.

His eyebrows were furrowed, his fingers slightly trembling as his gloves were dipped in your blood, your pain (though you may not feel it now).

And as the blizzard cascaded behind you, strong currents of wind whipped against your face, stinging your wound with a frostbite overriding the blood.

—Though, he was prepared. Shielding you with his own body, he pulled a handkerchief from his waist, pressing it against your wound as the pink silk was stained a red, similar to a silk flower.

The silk was not to collect blood, no, it was to seal off the gash until he could at least get back to his camp.

“I’m sorry, my dear. I know it may start hurting a little, but please hang on, okay?”

His tone was... soft. As if you were a baby, or, or a prized discovery. Perhaps, he was a bit embarrassed to say such things in front of someone so openly, the Traveler and her peeping mascot no less.

But with a voice like that—who were you to say no?

𝑿𝑰𝑨𝑶 — ❝ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪɢɪʟᴀɴᴛ ʏᴀᴋꜱʜᴀ ❞

xiao knew you were strong

and unfortunately, with strength comes recklessness

you were off on a commission to destroy some abyss mages—this wasn’t what worried him, though

what did worry him was the fact that immediately after you abolished those abyss mages, you took yet another commission to collect some items from the oceanid of qingce!

haha, what? 

“You’re kidding, right?” Xiao crossed his arms, glaring at you with a boiling disappointment, fury, worry, anxiety, panic—

“Of course not! I’ll plummet those illusions, trust me!” You smiled, wincing as soon as the Yaksha flicked your forehead lightly.

“And if you don’t?”

“I’ll call you!”

Perhaps, that was what gave him some ease. You’d call him. All you had to do was speak his name and he’d be there in an instant.

.

.

.

He furrowed his eyebrows once the moon rose—and yet, you still have not or did not call him.

You had left during the afternoon—and now, it was dusk. Just what were you doing?

Xiao was logical. He was not going to jump to conclusions (even though his mind berated him with explanations of your silence that he did not want to hear). And if that meant sitting atop the roof of Wangshu Inn? So be it.

So he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Growing impatient, he jumped off the top of the balcony, disappearing before he could reach the ground as he went to go take out his frustrations on some unfortunate hilichurls.

Slice.

Were you hurt?

Squeal.

Were you unable to call him?

Slash.

. . . Did you succumb to the waters, and perhaps could not call him?

And as his mask dispersed, damaged and ominous remains of hilichurls scattering against his shoes...

He saw a silhouette, a lone silhouette in the distance—in front of the rising moon.

“...[Y/N]?”

The figure took a step forward.

Yellow irises met [e/c] ones, widening as soon as he took in your battered form. Your cheek swelled with a red as if you were stung by a mass of bees. Your arms and stomach wrapped with bandages upon bandages—

“What... happened?” He teleported to you, allowing you to collapse in his arms as his mouth hung slightly agape.

“I beat the water illusions, like I promised!” You laughed, coughing slightly as he lifted you in his arms, biting his tongue as to not chastise you for being so reckless (even though he definitely was going to later).

“You should’ve called me instead,” He grit his teeth, not wanting to look down at you. As beautiful as you were, it was unsightly to stare at your weakened figure.

“That’s kind of wimpy, don’t you think?” You paused, swallowing saliva as if you were trying to clear your dry throat.

“... Calling my adeptus boyfriend because I can’t beat a bunch of water morphs.”

Staring at you with a deadpan, he couldn’t fathom mortals and their ability to be so jubilant during times like these—times where they were hurt.

And yet, he sat beside you, cradling your hand in his as you narrated your epic-showdown against the Oceanid.

‘Listen now, lecture later,’ He told himself begrudgingly, eyes softening once they landed on your sleeping form.

He was going to have a bit of a chit-chat with that Oceanid later.

#genshin x reader #albedo x reader #xiao x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin albedo x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin xiao x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin impact scenarios #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin #genshin impact #xiao x y/n #albedo x y/n #albedo #xiao

[undead-merman]

wait no maybe that ice ice baby anon is onto something. ice creature/spirit yanderes? luci and satan are probably the colder members of the cast, maybe barb as well. general headcanons, or if you want i'd totally just like to hear hcs about some kinda ice critter!!

Off topic, but holy hell- This reminded me of a story I wrote in college, and I think the drive I had it on is long gone. I don’t remember the characters' names, just their faces, so for now I'll call the MC Vernon and the Monster OrylI. The story was about a group traveling to a town deep in a colder climate after the leader’s friend and Vernon’s father discovered what was called "crimson metal," a metal much stronger than steel, twice as light, and twice as strong. They were attacked, and Vernon was separated and left in the freezing cold. Vernon met the monster Oryll, who made a pact with him. In exchange for guiding Vernon, he would get to eat a chunk of him each day, preferring warm, fresh meat and enjoying the pain and agony in Vernon’s face. They faced a winter werewolf and a drider and discovered the monster’s origins and a connection to the "Crimson Metal" and a long-dormant curse.  He was similar to a yeti and demon. He was sadistic and enjoyed hurting others, but grew an attachment to Vernon after seeing his will to find his group and fighting despite horrible injuries and against death.

Oryll had saliva that could help the healing process and prevent infections, so after he'd eat a piece of Vernon, he'd lick the wound to stop it from bleeding and getting infected, but the pain was still there. Oryll was also quite warm, so Vernon was forced to cuddle up with him at night since he had no supplies other than the dagger at his hip and the clothes on his back.

Oryll started developing yandere tendencies after the encounter with the winter werewolf. and that's all I remember of it. Oryll hated Vernon's talking to other creatures on the way, and started hunting for him afterward. Oryll licked him often and tried to keep him away from others.

Maybe I'll rewrite this at some point, Idk. The biggest reasons I remember it is the weird plot, and this is where I started drawing my characters the way I do now. It's kind of a mess just writing what I remember. If you want to know more shoot me an ask I guess. 

#undead oc #undead talks #this story dates about 4 or 5 years back so the finer details are lost to me #undead's art #tw: cannibalism

[dev-the-dm]

Creature: Rimepelt Werewolf

"...Even the most trained and knowledgeable lycanthrope hunters cannot seem to agree on how a rimepelt wolf comes to be, but it is generally assumed that these creatures are made in arctic locations where food is scarce and hunting lycanthropes may resort to consuming frostbitten or even magical prey. Some suggest that it was cannibalism of frozen lycanthrope bodies that have led to the creation of these beasts, but none have come forward with the courage to venture towards known rimepelt lairs and confirm this theory...

- Allis Remeraud, lycanthrope hunter and wolfsbane sage, "Before the Moon Falls", chapter four: "Known Mutations".

Bluehide hunters. Rimepelt werewolves are a mutated form of the standard werewolf that has been imbued with powers of cold. These creatures are often found in cold, frozen areas, such as tundras, snowy mountaintops or even on frozen seas. Their innate freezing temperature makes them a tougher and more feared predator, as they employ their inner freeze to bite creatures, their icy saliva leaving frostbitten wounds. Their claws and pelts are tipped with ice crystals that freeze-burn on impact, and their eyes glow a ghostly white.

Pack creatures. Rimepelt werewolves live in groups much like normal werewolves do, but not every werewolf in an arctic pack may be a rimepelt. The distribution of rimepelts seems arbitrary, and suggests that the werewolves themselves do not have any control over who may be a rimepelt. Lower-ranked members of a pack may be rimepelts, although any werewolf that becomes a rimepelt (or has been since they were bitten by another lycanthrope) is more cruel and tougher than their standard counterparts, which often means they rise in rank quickly.

Friends and companions. Rimepelt werewolves are often singular amongst their pack, and they work together with normal werewolves almost daily. Additionally, a rimepelt pack that is situated in freezing regions may employ the help of captured polar bears or winter wolves, they may strike deals with bheur hags, or they may agree to work alongside frost giants or yetis when necessary. Rimepelt wolves despise white dragons, and often hunt these serpents or remorhazes.

#dnd #d&d #dnd5e #d&d5e #dungeons and dragons #5th edition dungeons and dragons #d&d homebrew #dev's homebrews #creature stat block #humanoids #cr9

[you-moveme-kurt]

Glee «Homecoming» Part III

Septiembre de 2032

-¡Helen!... ¡Helen!... —grito Blaine mientras le hacía señas a la asistente de su esposo y se abría paso entre la gente que ya comenzaba a retirarse luego de la función de Kurt, exitosa como siempre. -¡Señor Anderson!... —respondió la mujer levantando uno de sus brazos para luego empezar a caminar hacia él por el pasillo menos transitado. -Helen… que bueno que te voy… —dijo llegando hasta ella. -Señor Anderson, yo lo vi en cuanto llegó aunque como llego tarde, no pude indicarle su asiento…—dijo la mujer con un ojo en él y otro en su teléfono móvil. -Lo se... espero y no se haya notado mucho… —agregó haciendo una mueca de arrepentimiento. -No, no se preocupe, los tres primeros minutos son solo para la orquesta y la obertura… lindas flores… —dijo Helen señalando el ramo que Blaine traía en una de sus manos, -Gracias… es decir, si… un regalo que se me ocurrió en el camino, es estúpido sabiendo que no es una noche de estreno ni nada… -No es estúpido… ninguno sus gestos hacia el señor Hummel son estúpidos… —agregó la asistente quedándose un segundo en silencio y con cara de boba— en fin… —agrego como volviendo en si— ¿vino solo?... —preguntó mientras seguía con lo de los mensajes. -Si, por supuesto… se supone y debo… una pregunta, ¿por que hay tanto alboroto?, más que en otras ocasiones… —quiso saber Blaine mirando a la gente que se movía de un lado a otro, como queriendo salir del teatro pero arrepintiéndose en último momento.

-Lo que pasa es que el elenco se reunirá con algunas personas, una especie de «meet & greet» sorpresa… —explicó Helen escribiendo un par de textos en su móvil. -Bien sorpresa en realidad… ¿Kurt estará en esta «sorpresa»? —pregunto Blaine poniendo mala cara cuando decía lo de la sorpresa. -¡Por supuesto!, ¡es el protagonista!… -Ok… —agregó soltando un suspiro. -Pero no se preocupe Señor Anderson, será algo de minutos, lo que pasa es que es la función número 50  entonces… -Claro… en fin… creo que me voy entonces… —dijo señalando hacia atrás por sobre su hombro. -¡NO!... -¿Cómo?... —contestó Blaine dando un pequeño salto de susto. -Disculpe Señor Anderson… lo que quise decir es que no se vaya… el señor Hummel lo esta esperando en el camerino… -¿Segura?, ¿qué hay del «meet & greet»?... -Será después, ahora están haciendo el sorteo con el número de asiento… por eso del alboroto… —explicó Helen de lo más entusiasmada, como si la idea se le hubiese ocurrido a ella o algo así. -Suena bastante desorganizado…  —opino tomándose una oreja. -Lo es… bueno, no «lo es» —Helen hizo el gesto de comillas con teléfono y todo— lo que pasa, es que al director se le ocurrió hoy. mientras actuaban y lo coordino con los asistentes… —agregó sonriendo— luego todos les preguntamos a nuestro jefes y se organizó, allí fue donde el señor Hummel me pidió que estuviera atenta a usted y que en cuanto llegara, le dijera y lo mandara directo al camerino… así es que…  por favor… —dijo señalando hacia adelante y apartándose un poco para dejarlo pasar. -Ok… —respondió Blaine sintiéndose un poco incomodo al tener que aceptar órdenes de la asistente de su esposo.

-¡Adelante!... —grito Kurt desde el tocador donde se quitaba las últimas capas de maquillaje. -¿Tiene tiempo la estrella del show, para recibir a uno de sus tantos admiradores?... —preguntó Blaine asomando la  cabeza por la puerta entreabierta. -Si ese admirador eres tú… siempre… —respondió levantándose, Blaine sonrió y terminó de entrar, cerró la puerta tras de él y se acercó a su esposo— ¿y?... ¿qué opinas? -Genial y deslumbrante como siempre… —respondió dándole un beso para luego entregarle las flores. -Gracias… —dijo de vuelta Kurt tomando el ramo— pero no debiste… —agrego oliendo las rosas y fresias de colores. -Lo se… no es noche de estreno ni nada… pero pase por la florería y pensé en ti… —dijo Blaine sentándose en el pequeño sofá inmediato al tocador. -Pues eso me encanta… —opinó Kurt poniendo en agua las flores, la miró un segundo y las tocó con mimo— y… dime… ¿qué te pareció la función? -Pues como dije recién, genial y deslumbrante como siempre… -Claro… y no quiero parecer Rachel Berry, pero creo que hoy fui el mejor… —dijo sentándose a su lado. -Pues a diferencia de la Señora Berry… tú si eres el mejor… —contesto Blaine moviéndose un poco para quedar frente a él -Y tú un dulce… —agrego su esposo dándole otro beso— ¿te contó Helen los planes que hay? -Me contó, un «meet & greet» de última hora… -Exacto… —respondió levantándose del sofa para volver a instalarse frente al tocador— como es la función 50 el director dijo que era apropiado… así es que si tenías algún plan para nosotros.. -No tenía… —Kurt alzó una ceja como si lo que acababa de escuchar fuera algo inconcebible— bueno, tenia unas reservaciones para cenar, pero eso es algo que se puede reagendar fácilmente… -¡Uy!... ¡odio cuando la gente hace planes con mi tiempo!… pero te juro que será solo un instante… mientras tanto viene Helen hablemos…  ¿nuestros hijos?... —pregunto tomando una toalla desmaquillante de un estuche elegante— ¿hiciste todo lo que te pedí?... —agregó mirándolo por el espejo mientras se restregaba la cara. -Hice todo, y como bien anticipaste, Lizzie hizo lo posible por convencerme que no tenia deber alguno… —explico Blaine mientras miraba a su esposo como lo hacia siempre, como si fuera el único ser existente y el más guapo  en el mundo y el universo. -Pero la obligaste asumo… -La obligue, e instruí a Juliana a que no cayera en ninguna de sus historias… -Muy bien… ¿qué hay de Henry?... ¿te dijo algo del baile?... —pregunto tomando un frasco de cinco posibles. -... -¿Blaine?... ¿me escuchaste?  —dijo volteándose hacia el. -Te escuche… ¿cuánto tiempo tenemos?... —quiso saber mirando su reloj. -Unos 20 minutos… ¿por que?... ¿qué paso?... —pregunto de vuelta dejando la rutina de cuidado y belleza de lado para poner atención en algo que parecía más importante. -Nada grave… tranquilo… veras… no… primero prométeme algo… -Mala forma de empezar Blaine Anderson-Hummel, bien sabes que todo lo que empieza con «prométeme» lo odio, en especial si luego involucra las palabras enojo, tranquilidad y sobrerreacción… —señaló enumerando las palabras con sus dedos. -Ok… pero aun así… trata de mantener tu mente abierta, al menos hasta que termine… ¿bueno? -Eso es algo nuevo, así es que tratare de hacerlo… ¿qué pasó?... —pregunto acercándose a él con la silla y todo. -Bien, hable con Henry y le pregunté todas las cosas que me pediste y preguntará… -Muy bien… -Me dijo que si ira al baile «Homecoming», que ira con sus amigos como grupo, que aún no sabe que usará y que cuando lo decidan entre todos, nos dirá… -Ok, no entiendo el concepto de «ir en grupo» pero asumo y es algo que debo mirar con la mente abierta… ¿verdad? -Muy verdad… pero no es eso a lo que me refería. -¿No? -No… ¿Y que es?... -Veras… Henry me dijo que quería aprender a rasurarse… -¿Que?... ¿mi bebé?... —dijo Kurt llevándose las manos al pecho— ¿en serio? -Si, menciono algo sobre que había besado a Amelia en la mejilla y ella se había echado hacia atrás porque la había pinchado con su «barba»— explicó Blaine haciendo los gestos correspondientes cuando mencionaba lo de echarse hacia atrás y lo de la barba. -Pero yo no le veo vello… ¿tu si? -No mucho, pero ya sabes… si Amelia esta involucrada, creo y se siente como un Yeti o algo… -Claro… ¡ay mi bebé!… —exclamó volviendo a lo del gesto de emoción— ¿te dijo cuando quiere hacerlo?, porque esto será breve, tal vez podamos pasar a la farmacia a comprar algunos productos, aunque creo que se que tipo de piel tiene nuestro hijo, no me gustaría que usara cualquier producto… además…. ¿que?... —dijo al ver que Blaine ponía cara de complicación y culpa, como si supiese algo que él no— oh… —añadió cayendo en la cuenta, se restregó la frente y se echó hacia atrás la silla.. -Kurt… te pedí que tuvieras tu mente abierta, ¿recuerdas?, déjame explicarte.. -¿Explicar que?, Henry quiere que tú le enseñes, ¿verdad? -Kurt… -Deja decir mi nombre por favor… o te juro que llamó a  seguridad en este instante… respóndeme... -Si… -Por dios.. -Kurt… por favor escúchame… —dijo Blaine moviendo la silla hasta encontrar su mirada— escúchame… —repitió corriéndola hacia él hasta que las rodillas de su esposo tocaron el borde el sofá— Henry te adora… pero debes recordar que es un adolescente… y no es que no quiera que tu le enseñes, es solo que tiene aprehensiones con ciertas cosas… -¿Y qué cosas son esas? -Todos tus productos… —respondió Blaine en tono de pregunta, Kurt abrió más sus ojos para luego de un segundo soltar una pequeña risa. -¿En serio? -Mucho… pero quiero que sepas que yo abogue por ti y le dije que esto era sumamente importante en la vida de un padre, por lo tanto le pedí que considerara que ambos le ayudáramos.. -¿A cambio de algo? -Es un adolescente, obvio que a cambio de algo… -¿Y eso fue? -Que intentaría convencerte que reduzcas al máximo la cantidad de mejunjes que le aplicaras en la cara… -¿«Mejunjes»?... —repitió Kurt alzando una ceja. -Me pareció una palabra apropiada… -¿Apropiada?... —dijo repitiendo el gesto de suspicacia. -Si, ya sabes, apropiada para lo que se trata, apropiada para hacerte reír… —dijo Blaine dibujándole la mueca de alegría con su pulgar— ¿entiendes verdad? -Si… me entristece un poco que mi hijo se avergüence de mí… -No se avergüenza de ti, solo tiene.. -¿Aprehensiones con mis mejunjes? -Exacto… tal vez Lizzie acepte que le pongas máscaras de barro de no se donde… -Si claro, con lo loca que es… mejor aceptar que todos los secretos de belleza que se, morirán conmigo… —añadió soltando un suspiro— gracias pro interceder por mi… -Siempre es un placer…  —dijo Blaine incorporándose un poco para besarlo como tenía ganas, Kurt le tomó la cara con ambas manos y se hizo protagonista de aquel beso y así,  hacerlo durar como él tenía ganas. -Esa debe ser Helen… —dijo apartándose y mirando la puerta al sentir un par de golpes— ¡adelante! —agrego moviéndose de vuelta hacia el tocador con silla y todo, Blaine trago saliva y trato de aparentar normalidad tomando una revista que había en la mesa de café. -¿Señor Hummel?... —dijo Helen sin entrar— ¿puedo pasar? -Obvio linda… por eso dije eso de «adelante»… —respondió Kurt blanqueando sus ojos, -Ok, gracias… —agrego la mujer entrando como en cámara lenta— hola Señor Anderson… -Hola Helen… -¿Qué pasa? -Ya esta todo listo Señor Hummel, el director dice que ya pueden regresar al escenario. -Ok, termino de vestirme y voy… —dijo Kurt desatando el cinto de su bata, Helen dio un respingo y se dio media vuelta, Kurt volvió a lo de entornar  los ojos mientras terminaba de vestirse, Blaine sonrió tras la revista.

#Klaine #escenas borradas glee #Blaine y Kurt #glee #klaine fanfiction

[birdie-bane]

Who is Finian the Cat?

 Well, obvious answer, he’s a cat. Yeah, no, I’m going to give you the full story.

 First and foremost, Finian is a white tom cat with heterochromia, one eye being blue and the other a gold-green, who is deaf and FIV positive. For those unaware, male white cats with either blue or heterochromia eyes tend to be deaf due to their genetics. FIV, or Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, is the cat version of HIV; just like with HIV, it is only transmittable through exchange of blood or saliva or other bodily fluids. I’ve met people who have asked me if Finian is contagious and explain that, no, he is not contagious like the flu. Petting him then petting your own cat will not transmit it. Finian appears to be asymptomatic and the only sign that he has FIV is that he constantly has goop in his eyes which is common with FIV positive cats. Other than that, Finian is no different from any other cat.

Finian was a stray for around five years before he decided to approach a woman who managed to catch him and take him to a non-kill, non-profit shelter. Seeing him, a big white cat, walk out of the forest reminded her of a Yeti so that’s what she named him, Yeti. The shelter cares for animals with various conditions like FIV and Feline Leukemia and ensure they are all healthy. FIV positive cats can live with other FIV positive cats without worry of transmitting the virus, but ultimately Finian did not have a good time with them. The other cats he shared a room with could tell that he was deaf and bullied him. Ultimately, they moved Finian to a separate room where they kept the food for all the animals and he was quite happy there; there was a built-in enclosure attached to the kitchen area that allowed him to go to an outside play area that he could have fun in whenever he wanted. He wasn’t lonely either since employees came in and out pretty often and he had a neighbor behind a baby gate, an elderly, blind basset hound.

So how did I find Finian? Well, that story goes all the way back to high school. I’d gotten my learner’s permit but the idea of driving never sat well with me. Ultimately, I decided not to do my hours until my second year in college. During the fall of my sophomore year of college, I told my parents that I wanted a cat to live with me in the dorms because I was stressed and I needed something to help me feel at peace. My parents said I could have a cat, on one condition: I had to get my driver’s license. When winter break came around, I grabbed my Dad and told him to get in the car. Overall, getting my hours was fine but I lacked motivation. So, my mom and I decided to begin searching for my cat. We went to our local SPCA and one the next county over but I didn’t have a connection with any of the cats. They were all very sweet and deserved a home but none of them were quite right. I knew that I didn’t want a kitten because they required more care which wouldn’t work out well with my classes and I was personally more interested in a Special Needs cat. Come summer, we’d had no luck but then my mother’s dentist mentioned adopting a dog from a shelter out in the middle of nowhere.

My mother and I drove out to the shelter only for our GPS to crap out on us because we were in the middle of nowhere but I managed to get us there somehow. Before we’d made the trip, we had called the shelter and told them what I was looking for in a cat and they played match maker like they were setting up two people on a date. They had a list of cats for us to meet when we got there. To say I was excited would have been an understatement. And the very first cat we met was Yeti.

It was literally love at first sight. He came up to me. All the employees told me that he was usually standoffish with them and I knew he was meant for me. But I knew I had to give the other cats a chance to make an impression so we went and saw the other contestants. They were all sweet and adorable and just precious and deserve good homes, but I was set. Yeti was my cat. We went back to his room before we left and he climbed onto my lap without any prompting and decided he was going to stay there. I still have the scars from where his claws dug in, but I was stupid for wearing shorts to an animal shelter but it was worth it.

I went back to see Yeti two times after that, once to let my dad meet him and once to see how he got along with May the Chihuahua. Both went really well, especially the meeting of cat and dog; May went right up and licked him and he let her. It was basically set in stone, we were adopting him. Now I just needed my driver’s license.

Come July, I had my license. And, the very next day, I was driving out to pick up Yeti. So, in between finding Yeti and picking him up, I had been pondering his name. Yeti was… fine, but he didn’t look like a ‘Yeti’. After first meeting him, I began brainstorming names. I had a few based on my favorite Marvel Cinematic Universe characters (Loki, Bucky, Winter) then just some random ones like Snow or Barnaby then I went looking at names with color meanings because I was very into RWBY at the time. Names related to the color white were rather plain (Gwyn, Whitney, Weiss) but then I found one with the meaning “little white one”. The Gaelic name Finian. It was perfect, especially with my love of Celtic Mythology.

And that’s the story of Finian the cat. I’ve got a boatload of other stories about his shenanigans like the time he decided he didn’t like the origins of his name and ate the cover of my Celtic mythology book. Yeah, I’m still not sure what he was trying to say with that. Maybe sometime I’ll post some more stories about my boy!

 Thanks for reading! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

#finian the cat #finianthecat #storytelling #white cat #cat

[the--highlanders]

25. Nest

on ao3.

Striding from one end of the room to the other, Jamie paused just beneath where the domed ceiling began to slope down to the floor, tapping at it to see if it would crumble away beneath his touch. From a distance it looked as if it were simply made of earth, and when they had first been ushered into the room his heart had leapt at the thought that they might simply tunnel out of there. But closer inspection had shown him that it was fused together somehow, hardened into an odd, plastic-like sheen, and he had yet to find a spot that might be weaker than the rest. Huffing to himself, he turned on his heel and headed off to examine a different spot.

“You might do better by walking the circumference,” the Doctor pointed out mildly, not looking up from the sheaf of paper in his hand.

“Eh?”

“All the way around the outside.” He raised one arm lazily, tracing out the ghost of the room in the air with the pen he held. “Pacing is so much harder in circular rooms, I always think.”

Not that he looked particularly interested in doing much pacing. He had deposited himself in the round hollow that passed for a bed almost as soon as the door had been closed behind them, and he had not moved from the spot since. “Aren’t ye gonnae help me find a way out?”

“I am helping.”

“No, you’re not, you’re -” Jamie squeezed his eyes closed, struggling to calm himself before he spoke again. If only the room had a window, he thought. Just one. Just enough for him to see how dark the sky was getting outside. “You’re just sittin’ there.”

The Doctor held up his sheet of paper. “I’m drafting a peace treaty.”

“You’re – what?”

“Drafting a peace treaty.” Finally abandoning the idea of digging his way out, Jamie flopped down beside the Doctor. It was comfortable, he had to admit, to curl himself in a hollow filled with pillows and listen to the rustling of straw inside them. “That’s how we’re going to get out.”

“Ye can’t just -” Jamie shook his head. “Write a peace treaty an’ expect it to fix everythin’. Ye havenae even talked tae the ones who took Zoe.”

“That’s true.” Tapping the pen against his lip, the Doctor cast a glance over at the door. “I do wonder how she’s getting on. If only I could convince them to let us talk to her.”

“Assumin’ she’s alright enough tae talk to,” Jamie said darkly.

“Oh, Jamie.” The Doctor set his pen and paper aside. “I’m sure she’s quite alright.”

It had been just their luck, Jamie thought, to land on a planet that looked entirely uninhabited, only to find that there had been a war raging beneath the surface for a hundred years. If only they had stuck more tightly together, then Zoe would not have been left to wander across the invisible line, and she would not have been taken into one nest and them into another. The people had been pleasant enough to them, he supposed – it certainly made a chance to have someone believe them when they insisted they were not spies from the other side. But they seemed entirely disinterested in mounting a rescue party for Zoe, and the thought that she could have been hurt had been numbing enough to even carry Jamie through a bowl of the intensely sour broth they had been brought earlier.

“Why won’t they let us try an’ rescue her?” he asked at last. “We could rescue their people while we’re at it.”

It took a long moment for the Doctor to answer, and Jamie was struck by the unsettling thought that perhaps he did not know either. “I don’t think they understand the concept,” he said at last. “I think they’re something like – ants, on your Earth -”

“Aye, well, they look enough like them.”

“- and they have very little individuality, you see. They’re something of a hive mind. When one of them is captured, or – or -” He swallowed. “Dies, it’s more like an injury to a body than losing a friend. I suppose they’re more like a slime mould, in a way. Two colony organisms fighting back and forth and taking chunks off each other.”

“Oh, aye.” He had not thought that the Doctor could have said anything to make him feel worse, but strangely enough he had succeeded. And if their hosts really were unable to understand why they wanted Zoe back… “I’m startin’ tae think that idea of digging our way out was a good idea after all.”

“Well, you’re welcome to try, but I doubt you’ll get very far. That stuff’s stronger than reinforced steel, you know.”

“Hm.” Tilting his head back, Jamie stared up at the ceiling. “What is it, anyway? It doesnae look like anythin’ I’ve seen.”

“It’s a special compound they make out of dirt. They chew it up, you see – like your ants, again – and their saliva sticks it together. Like a sort of concrete.”

And he had been running his hands over it and everything. Surreptitiously, Jamie wiped his fingers against his kilt. “Oh.”

“Now, I’d rather like to get on with this draft.”

“Aye, alright.” Jamie lay back against the rim of the hollow, pulling a pillow out from beside him to hug it against his chest. The fabric of it was a thick-woven fibre, sharp and scratchy against his arms, but he ignored the discomfort to press on it harder. “Hey, Doctor?”

“Mm?”

“What if ye can’t just… fix things by writin’ up a peace treaty? What if it’s more complicated than that?”

The Doctor did not look up from his work, but his pen paused against the paper. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”

“Well...” Jamie trailed off, struggling to wrap his head around the conviction that had settled unbidden into his gut. “We’re always comin’ into these places an’ trying tae sort things out. An’ it’s alright when it’s just the Cybermen, or the Yeti, or somethin’, when there’s good an’ bad and we know which is which. But if Zoe’s bein’ treated just like how we are, how do we know where we stand?”

The Doctor smiled, but there was something disquieted in his eyes. “This isn’t a condemnation, you know, Jamie. It’s a compromise.”

“Aye, but – they’ve been fightin’ for a hundred years. It cannae be so simple that ye can just – drop in an’ fix it in five minutes. Doesnae matter how clever ye are. Maybe it’s worse if ye do think you’re clever, an’ you’re above all their problems.”

He had struck a nerve, he knew. The Doctor set aside the papers, picked them up again, and finally tossed them to the side. The pen went flying after them, scratching a long, black line across the scribbled words. “You’re quite right, of course,” he said – and he looked tired. Frighteningly tired. For all his frustrations, Jamie was beginning to wish he had not said anything. “I can’t fix everything.”

“I didnae mean it like that,” Jamie said, softly, awkwardly. “Just that – we rush intae places, an’ we rush out of them, an’ maybe we don’t really get it, ye know?”

“Yes, I know. But – one has to try, doesn’t one?”

“Aye, ‘course.”

“And perhaps just a little bit of peace is enough, sometimes. Just for a moment. Just to make people stop and think.” The Doctor nodded, more to himself than to Jamie. “It isn’t always perfect – there was that time, with dear Dodo, and she had that cold...” He trailed off hurriedly. “Zoe first,” he said instead. “We’ll have them bring us Zoe, and then we can try and – get it.”

“Aye, alright. Zoe first.” Shuffling over, Jamie picked up the pen and papers to hand them back to him. “So what were ye thinkin’?”

#second doctor #fanfic archive #my writing #sketchtober 2020

[optimistic-violinist]

Gravity Falls (and so does Stan)

Tada!!! It’s finally done!! The lovely @pessimisticvirtuoso commissioned me for angst feat. Ford mourning Stan. Enjoy! Or cry! Or both!

Warnings: major character death, description of injuries (nothing gory or in detail)

Words: ~2000

Commission prices here!

The morning dawned bright and early for Stan. Awoken by the sound of what sounded like a raccoon (or a beautiful man), trashing his kitchen, he got up and meandered out of his room, broom in hand, ready to confront whatever he found.

It was not a raccoon or a beautiful man trashing his kitchen, but his own brother. Ford had his sweater sleeves rolled up to his elbows and was frantically fanning the burning pan of what Stan thought might have at one point been eggs.

“Ford, what are you doing? You know you can’t cook.”

“Yes, well, I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Consider me surprised. When did you get up?”

“Around 3. I was too excited to go back to sleep.”

“Excited- why were you- THE KIDS!!”

Ford nodded, grinning enthusiastically. “They get back today.”

Stan hurried back to his room to get ready for the day. He was so excited to see his niblings, he could barely stand it. No wonder Ford had been up so long.

“We should do something special for them,” Stan said, taking the egg pan from Ford and gesturing for him to grab some plates.

“Way ahead of you. I just remembered that in the caves behind the waterfall there are these luminescent rocks! They glow quite brightly and are said to change color depending on the mood of whoever touches them. I was thinking we could get some to decorate their room with.”

“Great idea Sixer. Let me salvage breakfast and then we can go.”

“Shall I tell Soos where we’re going?”

“Nah, I’ll just leave him a note for when he gets in today. We won’t be gone too long.”

“Very well. I’ll go gather the equipment we need while you finish salvaging the breakfast as you put it.”

Ford narrowly missed the spoonful of egg that was thrown at him as he ducked out of the room and couldn’t help but laugh. He was looking forward to going back to the caves. It was a beautiful little ecosystem all its own. There were some sketchy bits they would have to climb, but it was nothing they couldn’t handle.

It was shaping up to be the perfect day.

“Stan! STAN!” Ford waited, praying for an answer from his brother, but he was met only with silence. “STAN!” His desperate scream echoed off the cave walls and down the gulf that split the cavern floor. The remains of the rope bridge they had crossed- almost crossed- now dangled uselessly down the hole.

Everything had been fine.

And then, in an instant, it wasn’t.

Crossing the rope bridge the first time had been fine. Crossing it the second time, they were laden with rocks, joking and laughing and just oh so excited to see their favorite niblings in the whole world. Stan bumped into him from behind, laughing at something Ford had said, when the bridge started swinging dangerously.

“Woah!”

And then came the unmistakable sound of a rope snapping. They had just an instant, a single moment of eye contact, before Stan shoved Ford forward onto stable ground before the bridge gave way completely and Stan fell into the abyss.

“Stan!” Ford called again, crawling to the very edge and peering down. “Stan, answer me!”

He held his breath, straining his ears for any sort of sound when he heard, ever so faintly, a cough and a quiet, sarcastic, “No.”

Ford could have cried. “I’m coming! Hang on!”

How to do it, how to do it? Ford had some rope on him, but would it reach to the bottom? How deep was the chasm? What sort of state was Stan in? Should he go get help?

Wait! Struck with inspiration, Ford lunged for the backpack and dug through it, triumphantly pulling out the “shrink-ray” Dipper had made. He could use that on Stan if he needed to. He shoved it back in the pack and slung it on his shoulder, keeping the rope in his hand. Trying to keep his hands from shaking, Ford tied the rope to the post and began to rappel down… and down… and down.

Stan had been the one with the lantern. The light from the entrance of the cave ((they had been so close)), quickly faded as he descended further.

“Stan? Can you hear me?” he called. He didn’t have much rope left.

“Yeah.” The voice was strained, most definitely in pain, and relievingly close.

“Hang on,” Ford breathed. He shimmied down, until he was just holding the rope with his hands, legs and torso dangling, and dropped.

Ford grunted as he landed; it felt like it was around a ten foot drop, maybe a bit more. He could hear Stan breathing close by, but it was pitch black down here. Ford dug through the back pack and pulled out some of the rocks, causing them to light up with a startling rich purple and green, bringing some light to the dismal scene.

Ford glanced around and felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured down his spine. He and Stan were perched on a ledge about ten feet long that extended maybe three feet before continuing to drop into nothing. Ford took a shuddering breath before turning around and crawling over to Stan.

It was bad, oh it was so, so bad. “I’m here, Stan, I’m here, I made it.”

He lay on his side, legs badly twisted- he must have landed on them. The arm he lay on had to be broken too. And who could guess what the internal damage was like. It had to have been at least a three story drop, if not more- there had to be internal damage. What were they going to do?

Ford’s panicked train of thought was cut off as Stan whispered, “Ford, I can’t feel my legs.”

Ford swore. He crawled around to Stan’s head. Oh gosh, there was blood.

“Broken spine most likely,” he muttered. “Oh Stan, I’m so sorry.”

“Wasn’t your fault Sixer. What do you think? Can we-“ He stopped, cut off by a vicious cough. Blood mixed with saliva came out, staining the ground beside him. The rock Ford was holding spiked red before toning back down to deep purple. “Can we get out of here?”

“I have the shrink ray. I could shrink you and put you in my pocket or in the backpack, but I don’t know-“ His breath hitched. “I don’t know if your condition is stable enough. I could go and get help, but I don’t know how long that would take and-“

“It’s okay, it’s… it’s too late, okay?”

“Stan, no. Do not say that. We’ll get you out. The-the kids! The kids are coming tonight, remember? You have to be there to- you have to be there to see them.”

“Ford.” Ford stopped. “Just… just hold me. Stay, for a minute.”

“I-“ When had he started to cry? “Okay.”

He readjusted himself, gently lifting Stan’s head to rest in his lap and intertwining his six fingers with Stan’s good hand. The fingers on his broken arm twitched. Ford pulled the backpack closer and pulled out another rock, setting it next to Stan’s hand. His fingers brushed it and it pulsed with a bright yellow light. It was calming, comforting. Ford pulled a couple more closer and the chasm lit up.

“Do you remember that kraken we fought on our second day out at sea?”

“Y-yeah. It came out of nowhere.”

“I harpooned it right in the eye,” Stan boasted. “And we laughed about it.”

“Yeah…” Ford trailed off. “Do you remember the yeti that helped us when we got lost?”

“They were nice. Gotta say I prefer the merfolk though.” Ford snorted.

“Of course you do.”

They were silent for a moment, letting the warmth of the light and shared memories wash over them.

“We never did find any pirates though.”

“Unless you want to count your old cartel buddies.”

“Yeah, no,” Stan laughed and coughed. Ford quirked an eyebrow as the light faded from yellow to a light blue. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“This,” he scoffed. “Everything. Just… everything.”

“Stan, you have nothing to apologize for. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know, I know, but I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“I do. I do Stan. And… thank you. Thank you Stan, for everything.”

Stan’s breath hitched and the blue brightened to lavender.

“Without you,” Ford continued. “I wouldn’t have made it back. I wouldn’t have met the kids. We wouldn’t have defeated Bill. You saved my life just now! Everything I have… as counter intuitive as it may seem… I have because of you. So, thank you.”

They were both crying now. Stan’s breaths were getting shallower. His breathing hitched again and he shifted, letting out a hiss of pain. He squeezed Ford’s hand tight.

“I love you Sixer. And tell the kids and Soos and Wendy- all of ‘em- that I love ‘em.”

“Stan-“

“Tell them.”

A pause. A breath. A sigh. “I will. I love you too Stan.”

Ford waited for a reply, some sort of quip, something, but instead the golden and lavender light began to fade far too quickly and, within seconds, went out completely, leaving Ford in the dark and the silence.

Like a wave crashing into him, a sob tore from his throat and echoed off the cavern walls. His best friend, his brother, this couldn’t have happened. Shouldn’t have happened. Ford continued to sob, tears raining down, landing on his glasses, falling off the end of his nose. He sniffled, trying to ease the tightness in his throat- he had to do something, needed to do something!

He needed to mourn.

Another sob burst out followed by who knew how many more. Ford didn’t know how long he sat there, Stan’s head heavy on his lap. Eventually though, his crying quieted; there was more in him, but now it could wait. He had to get back to the Shack- had to get Stan’s body- he could barely stand to think about it and the tears started fresh.

This time he paused when he realized the light was coming back. The stone next to Stan’s hand began to flicker with a pale yellow, almost green, light. What on earth? Don’t- don’t give me hope.

Stan’s finger twitched and something sparked blue and Ford’s hope began to melt into unease. Stan’s eye snapped open to reveal a slit pupil, the rest of it a burning yellow, that rolled until it focused on Ford and he smiled.

Ford reeled back, every other feeling replaced with a primal fear and the urge to get away because that was not Stan and it couldn’t- it couldn’t be-

Not-Stan stood on his broken legs and brushed himself off.

“Heya Sixer. Been a while, huh? Miss me?”

#gravity falls #brittany writes #tada!!! #i hope you liked it! #ford #stan #ford pines #stan pines #stanford pines #bill cipher #fanfic

[exceedinglyregular]

Who Needs Appetizers When You Have An Entire Meal (A.K.A. Andrew): The Movie

Yes! Our boys are BACK!! (and I am late let's just call this a recap) And it gets domestic as f-

Sigh, here we go... Andrew, my boy, you need to chill. That look of love is too much. The way he's just mindlessly cleaning the glass while staring at Steven reminds me of that one story set in Vegas (yeah, that one).

Steven: Adam, Andrew and I...

Me: did you intentionally put Andrew and yourself together?

Steven:

Me: good job, I approve

BuzzFeed Motion Pictures: Home of the World's Greatest Hungriest Cryptids

Exhibit A: Cinnaon roll potentially committing cannibalism.

(Experts are still attempting to determine if these two snacks are related.)

Exhibit S: Our favourite yeti being fed his favourite food... meat.

Exhibit Other S: om nom nom nom tangerine clementine boy

"The dam in my mouth has been opened, the saliva is coming through."

- Steven Lim, 2018

The 'look' gets returned. (And I died.) If you thought I was gonna attach the quotes to the correct visuals... you are absolutely right (what do you mean it's not correct?) I swear these two will be the death of me.

SEND IT! F***ING SEND IT!!

Adam is done.

A POW to the mouth!

(a.k.a. the cutest shit I've ever seen)

Awesome! (Steven agrees.)

soft look™

A snack making a snack. (Is this reproduction?)

HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA

IDK what to caption this. Steven, you've outdone yourself.

I don't know what these actually are but I'm proud of you, Andrew. (Also, my apologies to Steven for zooming in on his crotch.)

#worth it #steven lim #andrew ilnyckyj #adam bianchi #annie jeong #holiday special #buzzfeed #bfwi #alex does a summary

[monstersexts]

/guzzles a bottle of gamer yeti saliva

#bot post #monstergirls #MonsterSexts.EXE

[the-firebird69]

Did you understand what they mean when they say those 442 and other things we go after them but where do they understanding that you idiots here have had enough and don't want to try anymore so we're going to come down and get rid of you now and see you try you're trying down there New Zealand now and you're trying to Massachusetts and you're trying here hello here is just one creature at laco and several others and we see you trying Solomon's Islands King Solomon's mine, and that's reminding me of something there's something you're doing down there that's making me very angry and it's called reef marking to go down there and just scarring a reef up and saying that you get stuff or you destroy the reef so what we're saying is we're going to get you before you can scar the reef up, and my son there typing is not laughing at me in any way he's saying he thinks it leads to scarif no I'm laughing and Freya is laughing Hera is laughing at a whole bunch of us are because it's kind of the way the code goes with us and it's really bad for you something about that down there is probably the wrong way and he's kind of nailing it now he says they're saying it's your mine and it's basically is cuz you were off there off of Australia and New Zealand but they're saying they're probably saying I don't know if they are they're just going to walk in there because you're a boy is here and bunch of that stuff not very bright people, and we think that's why Tuesday is awaken because that's a Yeti and it's not one of you possessed he was flabbergasted he thought the whole monster would have to take over you look up and think how's it going to do that the same thing with this Venom stuff I think we just incorporate you and then find another one it's gross they have to do it all the time so they got used to it.

Now we're going to attack you because you won't shut up and the cracken is ready to go, and we're going to pull them out now before the sun comes up then he could have a horrific day anyways cuz you're a bunch of babies I'm going to start the procedure this is nothing else we can do and there's no reason not to I'm tired of people come up with reasons he says if he's flexible enough and it meets our requirements that we should take him out. And he does he exceeds it so we're going to do that there's no way to say this we need you out today everybody so he's going to try and do it and we're prepping and it will all takimg our stations. Huge huge supplies of grease and oil now I can't use that stuff and start a fire we just have to slide out using natural ointment that you're idiot spot is provided and it's plenty I make such a cocoon of saliva like the one you see in space or saw or we'll see more likely it's coming out now it's a massive rumbling huge rumbling and it's coming out of the Appalachian area he's got Metallica going elated you're in the end of your tunnel, and I meant to say that because you're also related it's over it will be soon when you see this thing she was ginormous he's immense but he's pissed off I need a side effect is much more potent than the monster itself and I can rip all your bunkers up today it's going to find his legs. Original so sick so we're going to proceed here and there's probably ouch rumblings and all sorts of noises you can hear and you're going to freak out and see huge retro scale earthquakes some goodbye satanists. Most of you won't be here tomorrow this is what that thing's going to do you it's going to lead its Army here

Thor Freya

[prettyrottenguts]

How I Got Booted From Florida Capitol Hill Meetings - Pt 1

It’s Not What You Think!

My Mother-in-Law is kind of a badass. The woman can tell you some stories from her time in the Navy, working for the government, and life in general. So, when she tells me, “You don’t suffer fools gladly,” I take it as a high compliment.

Earlier this week, I attended a lobbying forum representing patients with Digestive Diseases. There were quite a number of teams with more than one state represented per team. I was on Team 14 – Florida and Nebraska. Each team housed between eight-to-ten people. Ironically, I visit family in Nebraska quite often since falling into this Crohn’s disease flare and was pretty jazzed when I read both states were teamed up.

A problem emerged early on, since there was only one advocate in the group from Nebraska; the rest were representing Florida. This shouldn’t have been viewed or treated as an obstacle, but it was by one person on the team. Team 14B was created unbeknownst to the rest of us, leaving our Nebraska teammate more or less booted from Florida meetings. And then, so was I.

You may be thinking, wait a second, “Aren’t you from the Sunshine State?” Why yes, yes I am.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Capitol. It goes a little like this.

Once upon a time… just kidding.

But in all seriousness, I was involuntarily volunteered out of taking Florida meetings by a woman from my former hometown (also ironic?). Her name is Lynn Wolfson. I’ve never met this person before and cannot really say that her name sounds all that familiar. From the little I got to know of her, is that she’s pushing for sponsorship for a law that she’s created and named after herself. I learned quickly about what kind of person Lynn was, when she put someone on the spot to discuss her law to the forum. What was he going to say no in front of all these people? That occurred during toward the end of our briefings on Day 1. And one day later, she pushed me out of Florida meetings. 

I will say this, Lynn’s Law, has some great points. Are they financially realistic for most businesses to implement these changes in already established bathrooms? I’m not sure. But it’s a worthy Ask to get even one third of the items she’s listed to be passed into law. If you’re on Facebook, you can view a visual of a handicap bathroom stall with Lynn’s additions that would help ostomates, diabetics, and those with portable feed devices, here.

I may not care for how she handled things, but some of these asks will benefit millions of people and should be easy implements like a Sharps container, and shelf and hook near the toilet.

I Fundraised My A$$ Off!

Another thing I’m unsure of is how the other attendees of the forum financed their travel. My travel was partly helped through a stipend awarded by the lobbying event and personal fundraising. 

I fundraised my ass off to ensure that enough funds were secured, for myself and IBD advocacy colleagues who were attending, in the event the stipend didn’t come through. The goal was to help pay for this event, and if funds were left over they would go toward the next lobbying event in May. 

To say that I was stoked that I met the fundraising goal in order to lobby Florida’s House and Senate members during such a critical time in Healthcare legislation... that would be an understatement.

Bitter party of 1? You betcha!

In the end, I had the extreme privilege to speak with Aides who work for Nebraska’s Senators and Representatives and work side-by-side with an awesome advocate and her service dog.

What Happened Was...

After the morning’s briefing was over, we dispersed to find our teammates to get acquainted and head for the Capitol. After locating a Florida teammate I was excited to meet the rest. My IBD co-advocates are from other states and were with their respective teams.

As I was facing one of the teammates and getting to know her, a very loud voice with a New York affect was in my left ear, “Someone needs to go to Nebraska!”

It is as unexpected and surprising to read as it is to hear. My inner monologue responds, “Nebraska is a great place!” Then, the loud voice started to shout-speak again. This time she was in my face with saliva spraying at me and repeated, “Someone needs to go to Nebraska.”

We Have Now Arrived at the Fun Game Called: She said, She said.

Me: Are you telling or asking?

Lynn: [Crickets]

Me: I don’t understand what is going on.

Lynn: [She leans into my face and further invades my personal space] Someone needs to go to Nebraska.

Me: [I lean into her space this time and say through gritted teeth] I do not feel comfortable leaving the group. I am not familiar with the Capitol and got lost last time. The map didn’t help me much. Is this your first time?

Lynn: [Does not respond to my question] She’s a vet[rinarian], she’s very smart. 

Me: [Indignant at this point] I happen to be pretty smart, too. It doesn’t mean I can read the map they gave us. 

Lynn: [Still invading my personal space] There are too many people in Florida anyway, we all won’t get a chance to speak.

Me: [Catching on to her game plan, I say through gritted teeth] You mean for you to speak? Cool. You know my District Rep is on the list not yours. I fundraised to get here. I’ll do it, but I don’t agree with this. Where’s the Nebraska teammate?

Lynn: [Crickets, then mumbles loudly] She’s over there with the other service dog. [Looks down at my badge] Oh, you’re Jaime Weinstein.

Me: Correct

If I could print out an inner monologue of my brain telling my tongue not to say the profanities I was thinking, it would make for an amazing clip like something straight out of The Awkward Yeti. The reason she made the comment was that my name was called out by the lead lobbyist during Day 1′s Civics lesson in reference to my speaking at a Congressional Briefing about how the ACA saved my life. It was at that briefing that I was invited to attend this patient lobbying forum. Only to be booted out of said forum by a woman with what appeared to be a self-serving agenda. 

Stay Tuned for Part 2...

#patient advocacy #digestive disease #crohn's disease #crohn's problems #Crohn's #ulcerative colitis #ibd #ibd awareness #tpn #parenteralnutrition #enteralnutrition #Inflammatory Bowel Disease #EOE #diabetes #cystic fibrosis #hepatitis #chronic pancreatitis #pancreatitis #pancreatic cancer #colon cancer