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englandsgray · 3 years

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Sherlolly Self-Interviews 2020

Well hi 👋

Ignoring the internal image of Gilderoy Lockheart smiling smugly while flashbulbs pop and saying ‘In my autobiography, Magical Me...’ 🙈😆 I shall take the opportunity of this lovely event to introduce myself as a writer of Sherlolly fanfiction on AO3...

I am English and somewhere over 30. I watched the show as it aired, and lost my heart as quickly to Molly Hooper as to Sherlock Holmes. The kiss is British television history. Series 4 is my favourite. Moriarty on the beach is life. The Holmes brothers break my heart every time.

I am extremely lucky to have been provided some questions to answer here by @ohaine and @mybrainrots - huge, huge love and thanks to these two lovelies, and not just for this. I admire you both so much as writers, and your support means the world to me ❤️ Thanks too, to @sherlollyappreciationweek!

Where did you begin to write, and have you written for other fandoms? I wrote my first fanfic when I was eleven years old - a 100 page ramble about The Monkees. Oh yes. Then in 2018, I fell for the characters of the Disney Pixar film Cars and began writing and publishing. So far so random! Writing in this fandom sprang from binge-watching all four series of Sherlock during lockdown. I remembered reading Louise Brealey talking about being disappointed Molly didn’t get chance to ‘roundly kick Sherlock’s arse’ and agreeing with her wholeheartedly. That, over a few weeks, turned into my first fic - Who You Really Are.

You’re a recent (and welcome!) arrival to the Sherlolly ship, and I was wondering if writing in an established, less active than it used to be fandom has been a challenge? Thank you, firstly. My experience of this fandom has been incredibly positive - the sense of welcome has been wonderful. I will admit I was terrified posting the first fic - there are hundreds of times more stories posted daily in the Sherlock fandom as in the one I had some experience of. But I needn’t have worried, it’s been a blast. I will also admit, that it’s no small thing to be surrounded by such brilliant writing and the long-standing passion which goes with it. But I find that inspiring in itself, and I’m very glad to be here - how supportive the fandom are makes me feel like I always have been!

What’s your favourite place and way to write? My aesthetic is Lin-Manuel Miranda in his in-law’s laundry room 🤣 I wrote my first ten-thousand words on the notes app on my phone before my other half told me to stop being ridiculous! I switch between the laptop, my phone and longhand (I’m a sucker for a nice notepad and a Uni-Ball Eye) and, more often than not, not sat up properly at a table.

Since you’ve (done something I’ve never managed successfully and) written a novella length fic... how did you organise/keep track of all the details and where you wanted the story to go? Did you outline/plot in advance? First of all - I would love to see a novella length fic from you @mybrainrots! The final scene of Who You Really Are came to me very early on and I knew I wanted the fic to fit within TFP - a lot of it takes place in the timeframe of the final montage. At first, it was going to be much more about Sherlock’s relationship with the ideas of sentiment and love (the phrase ‘I’m not sentimental about you, I love you,’ haunted me for a while) and I spent some time researching the psychology and playing with scenes from throughout the series - one of my favourites I didn’t go on to use was inspired by the final scene of THoB. Using scenes from the canon gave an automatic structure, and I was always aiming for the final one I wrote early on - the two of them on the beach (everything is about the beach, with me!) As I went along and started, inevitably, to slow down, I mapped out the chapters with a short note of what I wanted to be in each, then would add notes or phrases as they came to me - often emailed from my phone! I had to force myself through a tricky section set in Baker Street at one point, but it came together in the end. I did plot The Pathologist’s Skeletons on paper first, as I found with a casefic which remains a WIP, that I can get confused and lose focus when it comes to details and how to reveal them in a way which stays paced and interesting. I’ll certainly do that from now on with longer stories and cases. How did you keep up enthusiasm for the work? I want to write an original novel, so I am forcing myself to work through the knotty bits and blocks as a learning experience. Not everything is destined to be finished or finessed, of course, but I’m finding this process is building my confidence that I can overcome problems and slow periods. I also find I know when I need some external inspiration - some of my favourite scenes have come to me while out walking the dog or sitting on the beach. I’ve also been inspired by books or other series or things going on in the world, as we all are, and sometimes that’s pushed me on. Plus, of course, I’m a newbie - I’m very much in the honeymoon period of my writing, even though I’ve loved Sherlock for ten years! (Ten years! Bonkers.)

You’ve got a knack for writing Sherlock’s thoughts and capturing his voice. That said, which character do you find easiest to write? Which is the hardest? Thank you so much. I absolutely love writing Sherlock and Mycroft, and I’m sure that’s because they suit my somewhat over-the-top writing style! I find Molly and her POV really difficult. I want the scenes I write from her perspective to sound completely different to Sherlock, but that means writing in a style which doesn’t come as naturally to me. I’m a long way off happy with that at the moment, but I’m enjoying the challenge.

Is there a scene or character that specifically inspired you to start writing Sherlolly? The whole of TFP, but especially from the moment Sherlock arrives at Musgrave onwards. I am desperate to see what a Sherlock Holmes who has been reacquainted with his own heart would look like. I find his emotionality in those final scenes hugely compelling (Mycroft’s office is one of my favourite moments from across all four series) and, as I have always believed in him and Molly, I practically jumped up back in May after watching it and said ‘right, where’s my notebook?!’.

There’s a lovely peaceful, quiet feeling to your fic ‘We’re All Right At The Moment’. Can you tell us what inspired it and if you’ve thought of doing the backstory that goes with it? Thank you! Like everyone, I would go back to January of this year and start again in a heartbeat, but I am hugely fortunate to be able to say that I have a lot to be grateful to the UK lockdowns for. I might never have begun writing in this fandom otherwise, for one, and I have had a brilliant time so far and met some lovely people. Honestly, I don’t feel able to do any sort of justice in my writing to what has happened in the world in any broader sense than drawing on my own experiences of staying at home and enjoying my family. This particular super-short fic sees Molly cutting Sherlock’s hair at home in Baker Street. I wrote it in the evening after I had cut my other half’s hair and had been reminding myself that despite how horribly worried I was - and still am - about everything, we were all right in that moment, and to focus on that as much as possible. I wanted to try to capture that, if for no reason other than to look back on this entire experience and remember something lovely, so I am so pleased to hear you felt the fic did that. It was only after I finished it and reread it, that I realised it is ambiguous as to whether Molly is worried about Sherlock contracting the virus, or whether she is remembering him being treated for it... As I say, I don’t think I could write more about these extraordinary circumstances - perhaps it’s just too close at the moment - so I don’t plan on extending it. But you know how it is, the plot bunnies hop where they will...

Do you have a Sherlolly music playlist? What are your top five favs from the list? Here’s a run down of (6 🙊) songs I have been getting emotional over in the last little while, leading my brain to assign their significance to my favourite couple...

Kissing You - Des’Ree - It’s so 90′s, it’s a bit cheesy, it’s oddly disturbing. It helped me write A Request, Made Properly, and that gave me an excuse to have Sherlock kiss Molly in the snow.

How Long Will I Love You? - Ellie Goulding - part of the playlist, but also in remembrance of a friend who passed away recently. Life is very short, love is forever.

High and Dry - Jamie Cullum - It’s made me emotional for a very long time. The original is my partner’s version of choice, this is mine.

Think About You - Delta Goodrem - Okay, this one isn’t emotional, and it’s not my usual vibe! Blame the zoom exercise class I do! But oh my goodness, it’s Molly. Bless her.

Blinded By Your Grace (P.T.2. F.T. MNEK) - Stormzy - One of the best ever, I reckon. Spent an awful lot of time thinking about angels and demons, grace and what it takes to save someone, while writing my latest - The Pathologist’s Skeletons. This has been in my head most of the (blimmin’) time!

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding - I didn’t know I was a fan of Ellie until I wrote this list... I don’t subscribe to the theory that the love Molly wants or that which Sherlock has to offer is any lesser because it isn’t ‘normal’ or expected. I don’t think romantic entanglement would come easy to either of them. But it’s still love and it would be beautiful.

Thank you so much for reading. Thanks and love to @ohaine and @mybrainrots. And thank you @sherlollyappreciationweek for the event and for everything you do ❤️

Feel like I should sign off with a quote from the show...

“You’re not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You’re a drama queen!” Dr John Watson (Moffat & Gatiss) 2014 😜

A fav fic of mine by @mybrainrots

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563193

A fav fic of mine by @ohaine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562904

My stuff:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglandsGray/works

#sherlolly #sherlollyselfinterview20 #sherlock #sherlockbbc #writing #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 author #read on ao3

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an-american-experiment · 4 years

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Who lives, who dies - Who tells your story?

Lin-Manuel Miranda

By the time Eliza Hamilton died, the generation of people who had started, fought, and ended the American Revolution, cleaning up its pieces and stringing together a country, were gone. All that was left of it was their stories and the stories told about them. The way those stories were talked about - even before Eliza’s death - were already changing.

That lofty pedestal that the ‘Founding Fathers’ were put upon, that in some regards we are no stranger to today, was being built. Who was mentioned, and when, was all based on what those telling the story wanted because those who lived it or those that personally knew them, could no longer speak for themselves. It is from this that the way we speak about Hamilton was born.

Eliza had ensured that there was a biography of Hamilton, a multi-volume collection that covered his life, but this did not mean that this was always to be the point of view from which the world saw Hamilton. Even during Eliza’s lifetime, Hamilton’s reputation was up for debate - something she tried to quell. This debate continued after her death and continues, in some form, to today. When we talk about Hamilton we are influenced by this past and current debate, and no writer, me included, is an exception from that. My viewpoint on Hamilton is biased, as are all historian’s viewpoints on any subject or topic or idea that they write and research on. The way I view history, through a feminist lens and my Jewish heritage, means that when I see history I see it in a certain way. All historians, however much they might try to distance themselves from the past, are this way. Every story that has been told about Hamilton is biased - presented from a different point of view.

After the biography of Hamilton Eliza requested and Thomas Pickering wrote, there were other biographies of Hamilton, such as the ones that I used to write this blog. The study of the historiography of Hamilton (the writing of history of Hamilton) is a broad one. Try, for instance, to search “biographies of Hamilton” in any search engine. In doing so, you will find a plethora of books written about him. Some of these are for children, some the public, and some for those who study history. These are how we tell the story of Hamilton - these books show Eliza’s success in ensuring that Hamilton’s story is told.

Whether the story we tell about Hamilton is the one Eliza wanted or not is, in some ways, irrelevant. Like many other people who were family members and friends of the ‘Founding Fathers,’ Eliza censored his letters and papers to try to ensure that the only story that could be told is the one she wanted told - this is not unique nor is it surprising. And, yet, despite her best efforts to make it so that we could only see the good Hamilton did, there have been numerous occasions where historians point out his flaws and faults. This is all part of telling Hamilton’s story. As historians and as individuals wanting to understand the past so that we can understand the most reasonable and possible way to build a future, we have to look at both successes and mistakes. This is also part of telling the story - Hamilton’s story.

This musical, Hamilton, by Lin-Manuel Miranda, is yet another telling of Hamilton’s story. And, like many tellings of historical events and people, perhaps it is more telling of today that it is of the yesteryear it presents. This is not to say that it does not tell Hamilton’s story - it does, albeit with historical inaccuracies - but it also tells the story of today. It tells of an America that has so long neglected, when it has told its story of the downtrodden and unmentioned, the people who also built the country but are so frequently left out when the story is told. It is a retelling of that story, Hamilton’s story, but also today’s, which reflects the country that part is and part wants to be.

This blog is an addition to that, it is yet another telling of Hamilton’s story. I hope that in this blog, though, I have brought to light some left out and interesting parts of his story that do not always make it into others and were not in Miranda’s telling. My goal in this was in no part to break apart what he did, but to add to it, for it is just as legitimate a telling as any other because it tells the story of now along with Hamilton’s. In writing this I have continued what Eliza wants, both in this song and in real life: telling Hamilton’s story. I am sure, however, that I have not presented everything as she wished it to be seen. The way I presented Hamilton and Reynolds would be one such example. But I also brought in ideas and people who perhaps would not have traditionally have been thought to be as important to Hamilton’s story. In making Eliza and the other women in his life more prominent, I have tried to also tell their story, because his story and theirs, would be incomplete without each other.

These people were once living - and while they lived, they told their own stories, controlling much of the narrative. Once they died, their family controlled the story that was told as much as they could, but slowly, that grip unraveled. Historians were able to gather evidence and tell the story. Now, each of us who knows the story, who talks about it, who sees Hamilton An American Musical, listens to its songs, and learns about Hamilton the person, the people around him, and the systems he created - we tell his story.

Sources: the following sources were used - the collected letters/writings of Alexander Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton the Revolution, Ron Chernow’s biography of Hamilton, The Intimate Life of Alexander Hamilton by Allan McLane Hamilton, Hamilton by Richard Syllia, and Charles Cerami’s book called Young Patriots. In addition, War of Two by John Sedgwick and Washington and Hamilton by Tony Williams were used throughout. Tilar J. Mazzeo’s Eliza Hamilton was also used.

Follow us at @an-american-experiment where we are historically analyzing the lyrics of Hamilton with a new post every day!

#hamilton #alexander hamilton #lin-manuel miranda #hamilton the musical #hamilton an american musical #history #who lives who dies who tells your story #elizabeth schuyler hamilton #eliza hamilton #narrative #story #hamilton's story #the end

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captain-aralias · 4 years

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End of Year in Fandom meme

i know on tumblr the tradition is to post a list and then wait for people to ask you before just telling them all your thoughts... but i come from livejournal where we answer all the questions.

here are my thoughts about the things that i really liked in 2019.

if no one reads it, that’s cool! if you do read it - that’s cool too. please talk to me about any of these things. i have strong feelings about them.

Your main fandom this year?

this was, of course, 'carry on'. now there are two books, it might be time to start trying to call the fandom 'the simon snow books', but i don't think it's going to stick.

it's a nice fandom. not overwhelmingly big, but active enough that it's engaging. lots of people's first fandom.

Your favourite film watched this year?

movies is where i'm weakest now music has been removed from the list because i'm been watching long-running TV instead of 2-hour things, mostly.

i really liked the netflix christmas movie 'klaus' - but i would say, my favourite movie was 'steven universe - the movie' which is notable in that it's a movie of a TV show, but for reals. it was SO GOOD. i thought the structure worked really well as a movie, and the fact that it was longer than 10 minutes meant we got lots of proper-length songs :D

Your favourite book read this year?

ok! this is easier. i read lots of great books this year, mostly pratchett. many of which i think i've read before, but my memory is bad and it was a long time ago. there were only a few that i really really felt like i'd read before, like 'night watch' and 'going postal - which are still my favourite-favourites.

the best ones i either hadn't read before at all or remembered very little of were 'wee free men' and the 'amazing maurice'. also, all the middle vimes books - like, had i read 'the fifth elephant' before? i don't know. but it rocked.

also this year - there was a new 'invisible library' book (genieve cogman) which was about a heist (i love it!), two new 'murder most unladylike' (robin stevens), and right at the beginning of the year, 'the wicked king' (book 2 of 'the folk of the air' by holly black - who has never fully worked for me until this series. now it's amazing'.

'wayward son' was my most anticipated book, but it wasn't my favourite of the year even tough i have three copies of it, plus the audiobook, plus the kindle book. i feel for it in a different way than i feel for other books as it is my fandom and it's special to me in a way none of the other books are. it's also not bad, like some anticipated things have been - it just wasn't exactly what i wanted.

but, you know - bring on 'any way the wind blows'. it's set at watford. i am down for that.

Your favourite tv show of the year?

TOO MUCH CHOICE, ARGH.

2019 was, for me, the year of (animated) television shows that blew my mind with how much i loved them. if i had to choose one... i'd have to go for 'ladybug' but it's a tough call.

i love 'ladybug', even though it's a monster of the week show for kids that is written in another language and dubbed. somehow it transcends this and is SO GOOD and fun.

closely followed by:

steven universe (of course)

mob psycho 100. (how the hell did it get so good so fast? the first episode was like, eh, i guess this fine, and then it was about FRIENDSHIP, and growing up, and compassion.)

my hero academia (a late entry, i literally watched it last week. SO GOOD OMG)

yuri on ice!!!

haiyku!!

i also really enjoyed/am enjoying 'she-ra' and i'm enjoying 'the dragon prince'.

did we watch anything that had real people in it? yes. (i also watched a lot of starkid musicals - which doesn't fit anywhere on the list). but it wasn't as good.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

see above.

all the anime and ladybug are all massive fandoms/massive megafandoms that i'd never heard of because i am an ignorant westerner (this is what tumblr is good for, to be fair to it - forcing you to interact with random stuff that people who share one of your interests are also interested in - i have found many things that i like from seeing gifs of them). i read some yuri fic but i didn't want it to suck me in, before i was read to leave 'carry on'... so i backed away. i haven't read any 'ladybug' fic for the same reason.

and i dont ship stuff in BNHA so what's the point? (except maybe all might/eraser head, but i think maybe that' because i like them both the most as characters and they've been in some scenes together. and are adults. and all might is really gay - not a good reason to write fic) (or is it?) (no - i've got lots of 'carry on' stuff to write......)

Your biggest fandom disappointment?

it feels like the answer should be 'wayward son' after what i wrote above, but i wasn't actually disappointed at all, if that makes sense. although i wanted to be filled with overwhelming love, i didn't expect it - it was more like i was desperate to read the book (particularly because loads of people got it early, but i didn't) and my head was just full of white noise for weeks during september. even things like the 'steven universe' movie coming out didn't stop my brain saying 'WHERE IS WAYWARD SON???'

and then when i got it was like - yeah, this is all right - not my favourite, but now i know what happens i can process it. what a relief.

ok! i know what my actual biggest disappointment was - i REALLY wanted to like the new 'his dark materials'. it looked great! it was long - which i thought would mean it would be good. i had lin manuel miranda in it!

but i didn't get past the first episode. it just had far too many random boring scenes, and james mcavoy was all wrong for asriel, and i just hated it.

Your tv boyfriend of the year?

HMMMM... as usual, i love too many. (erin is well aware of this terrible state of affairs - if there's a rubbish and yet strangely competent stringey man in something, she knows i will like them too much).

i probably feel closest to adrien agreste, even though reigen arataka (mob psycho) is exactly my type.

and let's not even talk about how beautiful viktor nikiforov is. it should not be allowed.

Your tv girlfriend of the year?

this one is easier (alas indeed - we watch television programmes about MEN). it's marinette dupain-cheng. she is so smart and kind!

also - the worst witch wasn't very good this year (so it didn't get on the list, see above), but hectate hardbroom is still great.

and, of course, i have always loved the doctor. is it right to put the doctor here? people have started using non-binary pronouns now. idk - i'm going to say she's a woman right now.

Your biggest squee moment of the year?

eeeeer.........

renaissance faire sword fight in 'wayward son' maybe? (it was about 7am, i can't really remember but i think i was happy)

or something like - spoilers - the end of the most recent season of haikyu!! you'd think - surely the heroes will win, but what i've learned in anime is that sometimes... they don't. and so i was genuinely invested in whether or not they would get into the nationals. and THEY DID!!!!

The most missed of your old fandoms?

B7 - i definitely miss it more than doctor who, athough obviously i did go back for thirteen. (i liked the series - it was perfectly nice, and i was one of the people who didn't want a female doctor because the doctor's always been a rubbish man and i thought that was part of his thing. but now that there is a female doctor i'm much more like - shit, i wish i was the doctor, but i guess she's really good. the episodes themselves are just fine, though. it doesn't make me fannish)

i wrote a thing for 'blake's 7' because i was asked to by someone who is really lovely, and i met up with mrsunderhill from tumblr and we talked about fic stuff - and she told me that a lot of russian-speaking fandom followed me from doctor who to B7, which i did not know. (hello russian-speaking fans, if you are here).

but it was hard going - i realised i'd lost the knack, but also how great the show is. i probably won't read any more who fic unless it's by people i know, but i would still read B7.

just probably not anymore 1990s gen. i started selling the zines that i know i'm not interested in.

The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

i already said 'don't tempt me, frodo!'

i'll go looking once i'm fed up with 'carry on' and not before.

#my content #carry on

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mythicpopularculture · 5 years

Audio

(via https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0DZde51pDngI8JNSIicbyt?si=v48_QK8aSNK_dUiTQ5Eaww)

SPOILERS AHEAD: BE FOREWARNED!

The Great Analysis of Song Styles in Steven Universe: The Movie!

So I have always admired how effectively Steven Universe uses music as a driving action for the plot. So the news that the movie would be a musical was heavenly! Ultimately, though, what’s most striking is the variety of musical styles that are employed for the songs, especially their wide diversity in inspirations, as far as I can see. So I got inspired to put together a comparison playlist for the songs in the musical. Feel free to disagree (or agree!) with my picks here, but here goes, song by song:

The Tale of Steven/Once Upon a Time

Stylistic mate: “Main Title/Cinderella” from the soundtrack to Cinderella.

Rebecca Sugar wasn’t kidding when she said the movie goes full Disney with the opening. These two tracks line up virtually identical to the opening of Cinderella, right down to their use in their respective movies (opening credits/open the book/tell us a story mommy).

Let Us Adore You

Stylistic mate: “I Want to Linger” by the Andrews Sisters

What says “three part female harmony” more than the classic Andrews Sisters tracks of the 1930s and ‘40s? This one in particular is a very thematically similar song, in that it’s asking someone to stay with the singers, much like the Diamonds are asking Steven to stay. (The reprise is not included in the list, since it’s almost identical to this version except for Spinel’s countermelody, but I would still match it up with “I Want to Linger.”)

Happily Ever After

Stylistic mate: “Bikini Bottom Day” from The Spongebob Squarepants Musical

Kind of a cheap cop-out, maybe. Both the SU song and the Broadway number written by Jonathan Coulton serve the same purpose, though, to give us a brief character introduction of our central cast of characters, by allowing each one a solo.

Other Friends

Stylistic mate: “Puttin’ On the Ritz” by Taco

I love electro-synth jazz numbers! The feel of Spinel’s introductory song felt so much like the ‘80s attempts to merge classic jazz songs with new-wave synths, so I had to include the prototype track of this type.

system/BOOT.PearlFinal(3).Info

Stylistic mate: “Go Go” by Smyang Piano

The goal here was very clear. Make Pearl sound like a music box, with as mechanical and steady as this song is, despite the chaos going on around her.

Who We Are

Stylistic mate: “We Are!” from One Piece

Again, stemming back to Rebecca Sugar’s influences, considering that Spinel has powers very similar to Luffy, it’s only natural that the inspiring song Bismuth sings to rally the remaining Gems feels similar to the awesome first-season theme song to the longest-running anime in history.

Isn’t It Love?

Stylistic mate: “Is This Love” by Bob Marley & the Wailers

It takes a while to get started, and I mean fully rolling, but this song is clearly a reggae track. I picked this Marley song because of the thematic similarity to reborn Garnet’s questioning ballad.

No Matter What

Stylistic mate: “All For the Best” from Godspell

As soon as I heard this song on the soundtrack, the first thing that popped into my head was Stephen Schwartz’s musical retelling of the life of Jesus Christ, specifically this song with its peppy start-and-stop structure.

Disobedient

Stylistic mates: “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts; “I Wanna Be Sedated” by The Ramones

The two rock show tracks have multiple inspirations that I can hear, which makes them perfect pastiches of particular branches of popular music. For Sadie Killer and the Suspects’ song with Amethyst, it harkens to New York punk, and these two songs mashed together would probably give you something similar.

Independent Together

Stylistic mates: “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who; ��Heroes” by David Bowie

STEG! STEG! STEG! He goes for British rockers in his influences in this song, of which these two are the clearest ones: one set of guitar arms sounds a lot like Pete Townshend, and the vocal is full Bowie butter. (Almost put in a third influence, as the other set of guitar arms has a Brian May feel to its solo, but I couldn’t find a similar Queen track; any suggestions welcome!)

Drift Away

Stylistic mate: “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” by The Beatles

Spinel’s story is attached to a musical accompaniment that screams late-era Beatles, hence a track of the White Album that matches the song in mood.

Found

Stylistic mate: “Once Upon Another Time” from Love Never Dies

This is a really typical Broadway “express regrets” song, gentle and story-driven. While there are several versions of this type of song, I picked the best example I’ve heard in my experience, a newer Andrew Lloyd Webber number from his sequel to Phantom of the Opera.

True Kind of Love

Stylistic mate: “Still” by Macy Gray

Garnet’s big number in the musical is a very typical ‘90s R&B ballad, which to me stylistically feels like it could be a Macy Gray song.

Change

Stylistic mate: “I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)” from Moana

At the other end of the Disney spectrum, Steven’s song to hype himself up and get his powers back is very similar in structure and tone to this track from Moana, written by apparent SU fan (if his Twitter is to be believed) Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Finale

Stylistic mate: “Finale: Bikini Bottom Day Reprise” from The Spongebob Squarepants Musical

I’m nothing if not consistent. Both songs have the same general effect and purpose, to wrap up the story and bring the house down with a spectacular final number which reprises a cheerful song from the beginning in a dramatic, heart-rending manner.

Bravo on you, Crewniverse, for having the courage to encourage this kind of variety and creativity in your songwriting and stylistic choices. This soundtrack seriously slaps.

#steven universe the movie #steven universe #spotify tracklist #cinderella #andrews sisters #spongebob squarepants musical #taco #smyang piano #bob marley & the wailers #one piece #godspell #joan jett and the blackhearts #the ramones #the who #david bowie #the beatles #love never dies #macy gray #moana

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metalandmagi · 5 years

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March Media Madness!

Hello and welcome to the post where I talk about all the movies, books, and TV I consumed this month in my seemingly never ending quest to shout my feelings into the void. And oh boy all the winter anime is ending so I feel dead inside.

*puts on sunglasses* Let’s do this.

Movies!

Bohemian Rhapsody: The one about Queen Freddie Mercury. And it’s pretty good. It’s a little weird seeing a biopic of a band with literally no struggles getting into the industry, and I wouldn’t say it does wonders for the negative stereotypes about bisexuals...but who cares because if you’re watching this movie, it’s because you just want to sing along to some Queen songs and see some big hair! 8/10

How to Train Your Dragon- The Hidden World: The third and final installment in the How to Train Your Dragon trilogy, in which Dreamworks pulls a Butterfree on us, but at least we get a happy ending. This franchise holds a special place in my heart for so many reasons, and I’m glad that this one stuck the landing. Each movie has its own specific feeling and message, and they all advance the story in unique ways. Apart from being beautifully animated and hilarious, it also packs the big emotional punch we all were expecting and ends on a satisfying note overall. But it’s still not perfect. The other riders are at their most useless by far, and this is coming from someone who never really minded them before. They’re a lot more irritating if you’ve watched the tv series and can see how they can be useful. And Astrid really only provides emotional support instead of her usual ass-kicking. The villain was...fine...but he didn’t really pack much of a punch. And I really wished they had kept some sort of continuity and embraced the television series (I NEED A DAGUR CAMEO)! But these are mostly small things. If you haven’t given this franchise a try yet, please give it a chance! 9/10

Ralph Breaks the Internet: The poorly named sequel to Wreck It Ralph, in which Ralph and Venelope must travel to the internet to save Sugar Rush and keep the game characters from becoming homeless. It’s a fine follow up, but it definitely doesn’t have the same impact the first one did. There’s a heck of a lot going on in this movie, and it feels like it tried to do too much in terms of plot and character arcs in favor of sacrificing the humor from the first movie. And I really miss Felix and Calhoun. But there are a lot of good things about it too. Everything the Disney princesses do is pure gold, Shank is amazing, and there is a ton of effort put into building the world of the internet. I’m sure it will be pretty dated in a couple years, but it’s not just a quick cash grab full of name dropping and references (even though Disney seems like it wants it to be). It’s still worth checking out. 7.5/10

A Quiet Place: A family must survive in a world where deadly alien monsters that are attracted to sound have invaded the planet. I am the world’s biggest wimp when it comes to scary movies, and even I was interested enough in the premise to want to see this movie. And yes it’s amazing! The performances are all incredibly moving and believable, we get good representation of a Deaf character, the sound design is so creative it should be used in film classes, and it tells a thrilling and heart wrenching family story in only an hour and a half. I think I liked it because the focus wasn’t on the monsters just going around killing people. It’s about a family and what parents will do for their children. People like to say there’s a ton of plot holes, but if you actually think about them for more than five seconds, you’ll see there’s really nothing to pick apart because their decisions all make sense in the end.

My only question is about the cochlear device the daughter (Regan) uses. Was the dad (Lee) trying to make a new cochlear implant? Did Regan already have the internal component implanted in her cochlea? Had she been using one since before the monsters came? Did it break earlier because of the monsters’ connection with electromagnetic waves? Because if not...CIs don’t really work like that. I’m just confused about that situation. But that’s kind of nitpicky when this movie is still amazing. Even if you hate horror movies, I’d highly suggest it simply because of how creative its production is. 9/10

Mary Poppins Returns: It’s exactly what it sounds like...Mary Poppins returns to help the now adult children of the Banks family with the help of Lin Manuel Miranda. It’s fun, but it definitely goes on too long. Though I appreciate Emily Blunt putting her own spin on the character. Odds are if you like the original, you’ll probably like this too. 8/10

Fantastic Beasts- The Crimes of Grindelwald: The second movie in the Harry Potter prequel-verse, where Grindelwald basically becomes wizard Hitler and Newt is more concerned with winning Tina back then saving the world. Okay...this movie is not great. Structurally it’s a mess, the fun is being sucked out of the wizarding world, the characters make decisions that don’t align with previous behavior and make no logical sense, and there really is just the bare bones of a plot. There are also several characters that don’t need to be there and are just thrown in for fanservice (for now anyway). I found myself constantly saying how things don’t work like that and asking why things are happening. But even so, there are still good things about it. Visually it’s...fantastic. Jude Law makes a good young Dumbledore, and even Johnny Depp embodies what I always imagined Grindelwald at the height of his power would be like...I just wish it wasn’t Johnny Depp. I also wish it had more humor, because what was there was funny. It’s really just a transition film, which proves this franchise should never have been five movies, and Rowling should have focused on a Marauders era series or on young Dumbledore and Grindelwald. You just have to form your own opinion. 6.5/10

Maquia- When the Promised Flower Blooms: An immortal girl becomes a teen mom to an orphaned baby after her clan is killed. It’s basically a high fantasy version of Wolf Children. I honestly don’t know what to think about this movie. It does the family relationships so well and really drives home what it means to be a parent. However, its setting really throws me out of the movie because it tries to focus so much on the politics and background of this world without really succeeding. And because it is about a baby growing up, the pacing is so fast it will give you whiplash. But it is beautifully filmed and animated, and I would have bawled my eyes out at the ending if I wasn’t so distracted by how much I didn’t like the other characters and things that were happening at the castle. So...yeah, it’s a well animated, hard hitting movie that will probably mean more to parents overall. I just wish it was a TV series or a trilogy or something other than a two hour film. 7.5/10

Free Solo: A National Geographic documentary covering Alex Honnold, a man who is attempting to climb up the 900 meter side of El Capitan at Yosemite national park...without ropes or safety equipment. Yes, this is an incredible feat and the actual climbing portions are gripping and super intense. But personally, I found who Alex is as a person much more fascinating...and not necessarily in a positive way. Honestly, he can be a jerk. This sounds horrible to say considering he’s a real person and he’s doing something amazing, but seriously watch this movie and tell me this man is not one step away from being a sociopath. It’s completely understandable why he thinks the way he thinks, but it’s not exactly healthy for the other people in his life. I would be just as interested to see a two hour therapy session with him as I was with his climbing. Anyway, if you love gorgeous scenery and butt-clenching thrills with a side of psychologically interesting perspectives, watch this on the biggest screen possible. 8/10

The Matrix: REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM, BUY GOLD BYE

Yeah I’d never seen The Matrix, but I really didn’t expect it to be EXACTLY like the Oto arc in Tsubasa Chronicles. It’s too long, Neo’s an incredibly flat protagonist (but I feel like that’s on purpose to serve some sort of self-insert fantasy), and it seems like a YA dystopian fantasy series from 2013...but in an endearing sort of way. And hey it’s got a lot of cool slow motion fighting and neat body horror if you’re into that sort of thing. 7/10

Books!

Dry by Neal and Jarrod Shusterman: What happens when California literally just runs out of water one day? A group of teens go on an apocalyptic field trip to find some of course! I’ve only read one other Neal Shusterman series before, but I’m sensing a pattern of how well Shusterman can propose a theoretical question and then build an entire world around it. And this duo knows how to cover as many bases as possible because every time I ask a question about how something world work, the authors answer it almost immediately. This is a great story with very well written characters, and it even has a small hilarious twist in the end that makes you completely rethink everything about one of the characters. Most importantly it doesn’t follow the Scythe series’ formula of terribly written romance. However...it’s definitely a major bummer. It’s very interesting to think about, and it’s a roller coaster of a story...but the roller coaster only goes down and makes you want to scream all the time. If you like books that make you question human behavior and society, definitely check it out, but get ready to start hoarding all the water you own. 8/10

Jackass!: Okay this one’s a manga, but I’m still counting it. Honestly I don’t even know how to describe the plot...there’s two boys...there’s pantyhose...there’s a fun side character who is openly gay and doesn’t take shit from anyone...there’s introspection about how to deal with developing feelings and realizing you care about someone. It has the most awkward premise ever, but it’s unfairly good I promise. The less you know going in the better. 8.5/10

TV Shows!

The Umbrella Academy: A family of seven children with super powers who were “adopted” by an eccentric billionaire become child superheroes. So naturally, they all grow into jaded adults who are now tasked with saving the world from the inevitable apocalypse. And it’s...amazing. Like, this should be the new Stranger Things amazing. It’s a Netflix original based off the Dark Horse comic series, and it has one of the most binge worthy plots I’ve ever seen. It is capable of pulling off some very weird things because it just leans into it. The setting and aesthetic is very similar to A Series of Unfortunate Events where different time periods seem to collide, and it works pretty well. It has (mostly) likable characters, interesting and/or empathetic villains, great use of music and editing, and Emmy worthy performances. The only thing I don’t like (aside from them killing off a perfectly interesting character for no reason at the beginning of the show) is the romantic relationship between two of the siblings. Because naturally they had to put a romance in it, and it just sort of conforms to the idea of “adopted siblings aren’t related so it’s not weird.” But even they have some great scenes together so I can’t be too annoyed. It’s amazing. Please watch it. 10/10

Ducktales (2017): The reboot of Ducktales, in which the three nephews of Donald Duck go on mysterious adventures with their obscenely wealthy uncle. I’m pretty sure we all know this as the cartoon where Scrooge McDuck swims in his giant pool of money. It took me a long time to get to, but I like it! Webby is an amazing character, and even though the boys can be annoying, at least they all have their own personalities. I just wish Launchpad was a little less...stereotypically clueless. I’ve never seen the original series, so I can’t compare them, but I’d recommend it for everyone who likes Gravity Falls style mysteries and satisfying story arcs. 8.5/10

Carmen Sandiego (2019): The Netflix original animated series that focuses on a master thief who travels the world stealing important artifacts before an evil organization can get to them first...AND HOLY CRAP WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!? I don’t know anything about the original Carmen Sandiego franchise, but dang this revamp is awesome. Carmen is a great character who banters enough to be a Marvel protagonist, there’s unique animation, some mystery, and its own twists. The side characters may not be for everyone, but I like them...well, most of them. Apparently the purpose of the original franchise was to be educational, so they do sound like they’re reading the Wikipedia page for every new place they visit in the beginning of each episode, but at least the cultural things they mention always come back into play later. If you liked the new She-Ra or shows with great heroines, PLEASE WATCH IT! 9/10

Queer Eye (season 3): The third season of the ridiculous makeover show where five fabulous gay men rocket into people’s lives to boost their self confidence and keep them from living in filth. I hate that I love this show so much. I don’t like things that try to be overly emotional, but dang it, this show will just make you feel happy...and then sad...and then happy again. 10/10

Honorable Mentions

THE LAST SEASON OF STAR VS THE FORCES OF EVIL IS AIRING! Stop sleeping on this gem people!

Netflix finally released the rest of Arrested Development season 5

I started watching Yu Yu Hakusho because it’s a classic and the dub is hilarious.

I also started watching The Librarians. It’s...something that’s for sure.

And I’m currently reading Reign the Earth which is basically Avatar the Last Airbender set all in the desert.

#bohemian rhapsody #the matrix #free solo #maquia: when the promised flower blooms #fantastic beasts #the crimes of grindelwald #mary poppins returns #a quiet place #ralph breaks the internet #how to train your dragon #the hidden world #dry #jackass manga #queer eye #ducktales #the umbrella academy #media madness #long post #carmen sandiego

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classicmollywood · 5 years

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New to Me - December 2018

The year 2018 is finally over and I of course watched some films so you didn’t have to and will keep doing so in 2019. So here is my wrap up for the year 2018 for new films I viewed in December!

1890s - 0

1900s - 0

1910s -0

1920s - 0

1930s - 1

Hell’s Angels (1930)

I was very interested in seeing this infamous film because I knew it kickstarted Jean Harlow’s career and The Aviator features part of the making of the film in its story line. I can understand why this film is a classic due to the battle scenes with the planes. However, I never realized how awful of a person Jean Harlow’s character was! She treats Roy (James Hall) like garbage! But Roy’s brother Monte is also the worst because he sleeps with Harlow’s Helen when he knows his brother is in love with her. Other than me disliking those two characters, the film was pretty good.

1940s - 4

Affectionately Yours (1941)

This was a cute film. Obviously not the best film cinematically made, but it was fun to watch Dennis Morgan’s Rickey go to extreme lengths to get Merle Oberon’s Sue back. Personally, out of the two female characters, I preferred Rita Hayworth’s Irene to Sue because Irene was a newspaper woman with a lot of gumption and who seemed like a lot of fun. Oberon’s Sue was too wishy-washy even though she knew she wanted her ex back. HOWEVER, I was in LOVE with Oberon’s gown during the dinner party scene. I want to wear it and wish it was for sale now.

The Man Who Came to Dinner (1942)

I have no clue why I had never seen this holiday film because I highly enjoyed it. Monty Woolley was fantastic as the eccentric and grumpy Sheridan Whiteside. I also always enjoy seeing a comedy with Bette Davis in it because I feel like her comedic abilities are highly underrated and need to be appreciated more. This film is now going on my must watch during the holiday season list!

Red River (1948)

I got a bit giddy when I was watching this film. First off, it’s quite delicious to watch Montgomery Clift overpower John Wayne in a film. Clift’s Matt is just the better cowboy compared to Wayne’s Thomas. Also Clift was just an all around better actor. Second off, having a gay undertone between Matt and John Ireland’s Cherry was just the icing on top of the cake. Howard Hawks implied that he never filmed their scenes with gay undertones so he shifted the blame to Clift and Ireland. I don’t care if that was his intention because seeing two men flirt with each other in a John Wayne film is priceless. I don’t like John Wayne and think he is overrated but because I love Montgomery Clift, this is one of the few John Wayne films I have actually enjoyed.

Thieves’ Highway (1949)

This film gives you a lot for its 94 minute run time and I don’t hate it. This is a crime film but the first one I have ever seen involving a produce scammer haha. It does have all the makings for a crime film: missing limbs, death, fights, blood, ‘tainted’ brunettes, ‘virginal’ blondes, money, and revenge. I think this is one of the best crime films I have watched. I also like how Richard Conte’s Nick is not perfect but in the end knows what is right. This also applies to Valentina Cortese’s Rica. They were SMOKIN’ together.

1950s - 0

1960s - 0

1970s - 0

1980s - 0

1990s - 0

2000s - 1

Love Actually (2003)

I don’t know why I never watched this film! I loved it! I could go into long detail about how crappy a person Alan Rickman’s character was but I promise I won’t do so. I will admit my favorite storyline was between Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon. It was the most wholesome out of all of the stories. My least favorite storyline was the one that is immortalized as being cute, which is the one between Andrew Lincoln and Kiera Knightley. His best friend just married her and he is telling her he loves her? That’s not cool! But I thought this movie was a fun watch for sure!

2010s - 3

Coco (2017)

HOW HAD I NEVER SEEN THIS SWEET AND AMAZING FILM? This was the last film I watched in 2018 and it was a great ending to all of the films I had seen last year. This film was just so well written and the animation was so well done. I loved it so much and it made me laugh and cry!

Colette (2018)

I thought this film was wonderful! I always knew Colette was the one who gave Audrey Hepburn her big break in the play Gigi, but never knew much about the woman herself. She was fascinating and made for a fascinating subject of a movie. Her relationship with Willy and her exploration into her sexuality was very ahead of it’s time and makes her and this film very important. I also love films centered around strong women and that was indeed what Colette was.

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

The original version will always be my favorite version of Mary Poppins but I thought this sequel was so much fun! Of course some of the original concepts of the other film were recycled but it was great catching up with some old characters and meeting new ones. The songs were fun and I also think Emily Blunt did Mary Poppins justice! And any film that has Lin-Manuel Miranda singing and dancing usually is a hit!

#film #film review #movie #turner classic movies #hell's angels #affectionately yours #red river #the man who came to dinner #thieves' highway #love actually #coco #colette #mary poppins returns

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hannahharrington · 5 years

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CRYING IN EUROPE (postcards from italy)

I struggled with whether or not to post this; I still am, honestly, because it is very raw in every sense. This is something I wrote a year-minus-two-weeks-ago, holed up in an AirBNB in Rome, about losing my good friend Jaymee and the bizarreness of having the best and worst time of your life simultaneously. I did not look at it ever again until a few days ago. It wasn’t written to share with anyone, only because I needed to put thoughts down at the time. Any editing has been very minimal.

The last section I wrote yesterday.

CRYING IN EUROPE (postcards from italy)

1. The first time is on the first day. I land at Heathrow only to find out the express train isn’t running because of the snowstorm and the tube is beyond fucked. I nearly cry out of frustration and jet lag exhaustion but I don’t. I end up emerging from Shepherd’s Bush Market half a mile from the hotel and have to drag my suitcase through blustery snow that whips me so hard in the face it makes tears leak out of the corners of my eyes.

2. The second time is the next morning, five minutes after I first find out you’re dead. I guess the first five minutes are a mix of me just having woken up, an hour before my alarm, still on New York time as I scroll idly through my phone messages only to see it blowing up with the news; and maybe shock can be used as an excuse, even though we all knew it was coming.

3. Over the Hilton London Kensington breakfast buffet for Hilton Honors Members. I’m telling Barry how I was supposed to see you before it happened. My voice cracks and eyes overflow with tears, and I’m apologizing and Barry is being so kind about it even though I can tell he’s not really sure what to do or say, which is okay because I don’t know either. It occurs to me later that in all the years we’ve known each other, this is the first time I’ve ever cried in front of him.

You said you were terminal, and released to home hospice care, and I told you I would fly to California if you wanted and read you mean celebrity blog comment sections, like how I did for you when you visited me in Brooklyn (I’ll never forget how we laughed until we cried like middle schoolers at a sleepover). I followed your lead in trying to blunt reality with a joke because that’s what you always did. The last thing you posted on any social media was a repost of our Facebook “Friendaversary”, saying how you were due for another one of my dramatic readings. I was going to buy a plane ticket when I got back from this trip. I was supposed to be there.

4. The first cigarette I smoke.

5. And the second, all while thinking about how terrible a person I am for smoking because you hated it and hated having cancer and hated that I would do something that could make me sick. You wanted me to stop, and if this were a movie I’d quit on the spot. But it isn’t and so instead I stand chain-smoking and hating myself.

6. In the shower.

7. We go see the Hamilton matinee hours after we find out, and it’s the cruelest twist of fate, experiencing this thing you loved so deeply and brought into my life and that we shared together. You’re the reason I saw it with everyone else at the matinee Obama attended. I lost the lottery, the lone one of all of us without a way in, and I was feeling a little sorry for myself and about to leave. I went to say goodbye to you, and immediately you pulled your Jaymee magic and got me a ticket at the literal last minute. And it really did feel like magic.

When you first saw it at the Public, I tried the lottery and lost, and I joked for you to go on without me, to die a million happy deaths. You said if I were being mugged and you were the only one who could save me, you’d still make me wait until after the show. I know if I skipped it you’d literally come back to life and kick my ass. But that doesn’t seem like a bad deal. I’d never see Hamilton again, I’d burn all of my playbills, even the one from the off-Broadway run I got signed by the original cast at the stage door. I’d tear the donut bag in half, the one we joked about being good luck, the one I had Lin-Manuel Miranda autograph. I’d do all of that if it gave me five more minutes with you.

I keep my shit together more or less until the second act. When Hamilton pleads to Washington with Why do we have to say goodbye?, I start crying and don’t stop until curtain call.

8. Right before I left on this trip, I threw together a playlist for my phone. The last song I added was Eva Cassidy’s cover of “Fields of Gold”, thinking it’d be pretty background soundtrack for train rides through lush, rolling Italian countryside. A year ago I went down one of my weird little Internet research rabbit holes and read all about Eva, her melanoma, how she died and her last performance, and wondered why there hadn’t been a movie made about that particular beautiful tragedy. After Hamilton I tell Barry I feel better, like it was an emotional release, but then the next afternoon we go to a pastry café and they play a jazz standard cover of “Fields of Gold” over the speakers and my chest seizes.

9. Friday night we’re supposed to meet up with Jen for dinner before she flies back to Philly. I’m sick to my stomach in the cab ride over to her hotel, and when we get to her room I drop my purse and hug her and don’t let go. That thing happens where I’m trying not to cry and it makes me cry harder and I can feel Jen crying too. We sit and Jen and Danielle talk about their travels and the whole time I feel on the verge of throwing up. Finally I say we need to talk about you, about what we’re going to do. Jen says June told her sometimes in Filipino culture they ask for donations for the family instead of flowers, so she’s not sure what’s preferred. I don’t know why I was expecting Jen to have more information, something to make me feel better, but nothing she tells me does. I take one of the Ativans my mom gave me for the plane ride because I can’t calm down. You said they gave you Ativan at the end. You said it helped. It helps me too.

I excuse myself from their room and get lost in the dimly lit maze of their hotel, until finally I find a side exit to the courtyard, and I light a cigarette and text my mom, who happens to be around. I try calling, but this stupid SIM card I got won’t let me connect to the US, so I wait until I’m back at the hotel and Barry is out at his show. The instructions to dial out don’t tell me the overseas rates, but I call my mom anyway, and spend twenty minutes on the phone with her sobbing like a child.

When we check out of the hotel, I’ll find out the call cost me over a hundred pounds, which probably with the obscene exchange rates approximates to three hundred dollars. I rationalize that’s what I would have paid out of pocket for an emergency therapy session anyway.

10. I find your aunt on Facebook and ask her what the family wants done. An hour later she messages me back to say flowers would be lovely. Your mother is beside herself with grief, she says. You were her best friend, she says.

It feels better to be doing something, to feel productive, so I make it my mission to organize the flowers for your memorial. The whole next day between sightseeing at Kensington Palace I’m looking up florists in San Mateo, figuring out who wants to contribute, making sure everyone is included. Bridget agrees to place the order. It’s midnight my time when I run downstairs for a smoke. Bridget and I are trading texts, trying to figure out what to write on the card. I’m not a writer, she says. You should do it, she says. I start crying because I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this. When I go to head back into the hotel, a British girl with blue hair sees me wiping at my eyes. She calls me love and asks if I’m okay. I’ve been in New York too long; my own public meltdowns don’t even embarrass me anymore. I’ve forgotten that the rest of the world doesn’t politely ignore you when you’re losing your shit on the sidewalk. I know how I must look, crying messily in my pajamas, walking around like an open wound just bleeding over everything.

I try to stop the tears long enough to assure her I’m fine, really, and when I stumble out the words that a friend of mine just passed away, she grabs me in a hug before the words finish getting out. She’s so nice that it makes me cry even more and I let her convince me to take the free cigarette she offers. She tells me she’s here with her gay husband and I joke through tears that I’m here with mine too. We stand and talk about Camden Market and the magic of New York at Christmastime, and when she’s satisfied I’m not a suicide risk she adds me as a friend on Facebook.

11. Things feel different in Venice. I start to feel like maybe I’ve hit the bottom of this, it’s only up from here, and even as I’m thinking it I know it’s delusional. I had the same feeling when my dad died, and I learned then that grief is not linear. There can be moments where it’s all temporarily bearable, only for a fresh wave of pain to knock you flat on your ass a minute later.

But for most of Venice I feel lighter, like the darkest clouds of the storm have passed. We get lost in the labyrinth of alleyways and eventually I duck into a Murano glass shop. Back in January when I went to Fort Myers, I took an Uber from the airport, and for the first time ever I had a woman driver. During the drive to the beach somehow the subject of this trip came up. I mentioned I’d be in Venice, and she told me how her day job was at an art gallery. They made jewelry from Murano glass, a Venetian technique. She made me promise to seek it out when I went.

The shop has all kinds of figurines, and in the back corner I discover these thimble-sized cows. Cows were your thing. Not just thing—borderline obsession. I still don’t know what it is about them you loved so much, but you did. When I was in Amsterdam I passed by an actual Cow Museum, snapped a photo of the storefront and sent it to you. You couldn’t believe I didn’t go inside. Now I’m here in Venice, looking at these little cows and thinking of you, and of course I have to get them. I scoop four of them into my palm and go to the cashier and whatever part of my heart that’s been healing over gets ripped open raw again. My throat burns too much for me to manage anything more than a cursory grazie as I watch him bundle them delicately in bubble wrap. It almost feels selfish to hurt this much, when there are people in this world who loved you longer and harder and better than I did. But I do.

12. In Florence Barry and I split up for the day. He runs off to the Duomo while I visit the Ambrogio market, the one the owner of our B&B tells me is for locals. I pick up random ingredients for my mother, whose burgeoning interest in the culinary arts still baffles me considering I subsisted on almost nothing but microwave dinners as a child, and two sweaters for myself.

I’m back at our apartment-sized suite, arranging the packaged pasta and sun-dried tomatoes on the wooden table for an Instagram photo when I click some random button that takes me to my inbox.

There’s only one message in there and I realize it’s from you, from over two years ago. I click to see it’s a video taken in Marie’s Crisis. Some pitch perfect soprano sings bars from an unrecognizable show tune at the piano, and then you turn the camera to yourself, bobbing your head along with a coy smile. I can’t believe it. I click out accidentally and have to Google for instructions on how to find it again. The video is only fifteen seconds but I watch it ten times in a row and then put my head down on the table and cry until it hurts.

13. Bucket list items have a greater sense of urgency now than they used to. At the last minute I find a woman who agrees to take me to a horse farm in Tuscany. She meets me at the Piazza Cavalleggeri behind one of Florence’s countless gorgeous ancient basilicas and takes me to meet her business partner so he can drive. He’s an old guy who speaks zero English, and it becomes evident when he climbs into the driver’s seat that he has Tourette’s. Every ten seconds his tic makes him jerk the steering wheel so the whole car swerves. We lurch our way up narrow roads that wind up huge hills, endless greenery on all sides, the woman chattering happily about vineyards and olive trees as I brace myself in the backseat, positive the guy is going to tic us right into oncoming traffic and certain death. It rains on the way there, and the woman worries it’ll be too wet to ride, but sure enough we arrive and the sky clears up just long enough for me and two other American girls to go for an hour-long trek. It’s been ten years since I’ve been on a horse, and I’m nervous about it, but the second I’m in the saddle everything comes back to me. We ride through steep hills, surrounded by the kind of scenery that’s beyond picturesque. It’s so gorgeous it doesn’t look real, like an oil painting. For the first time in days I feel a weightless kind of happiness. I know as it’s happening that this is something I will remember for the rest of my life.

When the woman drops me back off in Florence, I trip over myself thanking her profusely, holding back tears because I don’t want to explain that that was maybe the most beautiful experience of my life and I’m so grateful that for three hours the Jaymee is dead, Jaymee is dead, Jaymee is dead track stopped spinning in my head.

14. Rome is a welcome change of pace. I like big, bustling, metropolitan cities; they make me feel comfortable. Safe. Even just through glimpses out the taxi window I can see Rome is bursting at the seams, vibrant and colorful and a startling clash of ancient and modern. Our driver asks where we’re from and I say New York. He laughs and tells us he doesn’t like America, but he likes New York.

On a tour of the Vatican museums, our guide shares all the juicy stories of how Raphael and Michelangelo loathed each other, and the illicit love between Antinous and Hadrian, and we marvel at the frescos on every wall and the breathtaking scope of the Sistine Chapel and the inside of St. Peter’s basilica.

I was skeptical as I always am of anything to do with organized religion, but you liked the new Pope. You thought he was progressive, refreshing. You’d joke all the time about your “Jesus problems”, how you struggled to reconcile your Catholicism with your personal politics.

Afterward Barry scurries off to scale the bell tower. I ask our guide if there’s anywhere in the basilica to light candles, like how you can do in St. Patrick’s. She tells me it’s not allowed—it’s too much of a hazard, especially after a crazy man declared himself the second coming of Jesus and attacked Michelangelo’s Pietà with a hammer, chipping off fifteen pieces in the mayhem, including Mary’s nose.

Instead of waiting for Barry outside in the square I retreat back into St. Peter’s, to the closed off chapel. The guard asks me if I will be praying. It forces me to confront what I’m really planning to do, and after a heartbeat of hesitation I stutter out a yes, slip through the parted curtains to the pews. I’ve never prayed in my life; I have no idea how to do it. I look to see how others around me kneel and try to imitate the stance, hands folded in front of me, knees against the padded rest. It all feels clumsy and awkward until suddenly it doesn’t. Suddenly I’m just crying. I watch my thick tears plop onto concrete and absently wonder how many people before me have spilled salt on these floors. Probably a lot.

I don’t know how to pray. In my head I’m just screaming please forgive me, and I don’t know if I’m saying it to God or to you. I guess I know now what Catholic guilt feels like.

I should’ve been there. I should’ve brought Schmackary’s cookies and the good luck donut bag and flown out to California and seen you. Why didn’t you tell me how bad it was? Why did you have to make your yes a joke? (A quip about doctor’s orders, it comes as no surprise you embraced the gallows humor.) Why couldn’t you be earnest? Why couldn’t just say I need you right now, I don’t have much time, please be here? Did you even know? Because I swear I didn’t. I thought I could wait. I thought you had more time. None of it fucking matters because I can’t forgive myself, not ever.

…And that’s it. That’s where I stopped writing. I didn’t cry on European soil again after that. Not because the last cry was cathartic or healing; it wasn’t. The healing would come later, long after my plane touched down again in New York. It happened in ways I can’t explain, slowly, until one day the thought of you didn’t automatically bring me to the brink of tears or knock the wind from me like a sucker punch to the gut, where the tenderness of loving memory ran parallel with the heartbreak rather than being subsumed by it. Eventually the day came where I could think of you and how you were and what we shared, not only of the ways I failed you. A year later and I still think of those too, sometimes. And there are still tears, sometimes.

I feel like I always had this idea that you go through The Worst Thing and life just evens out after that. My Worst Thing happened when I was in my teenage years and I was supposed to be in the clear afterwards. But life doesn’t work that way. There’s no plateau, no neat ever after. And every so often we break in ways where yes, you can scrape the pieces together and carry on, but you’re never made whole again. You’re never the person you used to be. You become a new version of yourself, mismatched and full of jagged lines, and you find a way to forge ahead.

In the immediate soul-crushing wake of the 2016 election, someone created a Subway Therapy project in the tunnel of the 14th Avenue station that stretches from Sixth to Seventh. I went to see it then, a modern day marvel: the long tiled wall papered with thousands of bright post-its, each full of encouragement and commiseration from fellow grief-sick New Yorkers. The sight was a life preserver in the sea of misery I’d floated in that entire week. I was not alone in the feeling, however singularly devastating it felt.

Countless others have been here. I am not the only one to have shed my tears on ancient chapel floors, unable to imagine I would ever feel okay again. Experts painstakingly restored the Pietà after the attack, but if you were to find your way behind the bulletproof glass and touch the Virgin Mary’s cheek, you would still feel hairline traces of their work, a difference of texture; if you were to peer close enough, you would see the faint lines on marble that belie its pristine repair. It was broken once. It could not be remade exactly as it was. It’s no less a masterpiece.

That day in the 14th Street station, I peeled off a blank post-it and wrote out an Abraham Lincoln quote I’d read once: Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better… And yet this is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again.

Time buffers out the rough edges. It is the only thing that does.

#jaymee

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thefederalistfreestyle · 6 years

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Tunes with no show: the songs cut out of musicals, from Follies to Hamilton (The Guardian):

When Hamilton opened in London last year, many in the audience already knew its songs inside out. The 2015 Broadway recording of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s smash hit – about the US founding father who will not throw away his shot – had long since gone triple platinum. With 46 tracks, it boasts more songs than most musicals; the off-Broadway track list was even longer. But Miranda still had leftover lyrics – and the feverish love for his show means new Hamilton material is still being released three years after its New York debut.

Remixes, covers and demos appeared on the Hamilton Mixtape in 2016 and this year Miranda has been putting out fresh Hamilton-related tracks every month as part of his Hamildrops series, which he kicked off with a song – and character – he cut from the show. He had written “Decemberists-esque lyrics” to be sung by Ben Franklin but that founding father was deemed superfluous to the story. Miranda later sent the lyrics to Decemberists frontman Colin Meloy and they collaborated on Ben Franklin’s Song (opening line: “Electricity ... Yeah, you can all thank me”). Hamilton fans were duly electrified.

Unused songs often languish in their creator’s “trunk” of material, waiting to be repurposed in another show, or have occasional outings at concerts. They are sought out by super-fans; some are easier to find than others. A handful of deleted songs from Stephen Sondheim’s Follies – including Can That Boy Foxtrot! which was sung by Yvonne De Carlo during the show’s Boston tryouts – were eventually used alongside other Sondheim leftovers in the show Marry Me a Little. One of them, All Things Bright and Beautiful, had become an instrumental prologue to Follies. Sondheim’s two-volume set of collected lyrics features a number of songs with a discreet “(cut)” next to the title. But for composers and lyricists, how much pain lies within those parentheses?

When you write a song it becomes part of your emotional life, says lyricist Teresa Howard. “It’s very hard to let go of them. Even if you know it’s right to cut it, you always feel the loss.” She remembers a time when one of her songs wasn’t working and the angst of losing it helped her dramatically improve it.

Lyricist Martin Charnin, whose hits include Annie, agrees that there’s “always a disappointment” when a song is discarded. But “a song is not just a song. It depends on the thrust of the play, who is performing it. These discoveries aren’t made on paper but once the show is up on its feet. A lot of times, songs are cut for the simple reason that the material is just too long or a scene works wonderfully and the song ends up being a duplication of it.”

[. . .]

One song that found its way for composer Alan Menken is Proud of Your Boy, which he and lyricist Howard Ashman wrote for Disney’s Aladdin movie, released in 1992. It was to be sung by the hero, for his mother, but suffered the same fate as Ben Franklin’s Song: when the character of the mother was cut, out went the song, too. For Menken it was poignant because Proud of Your Boy “was an emotional song not only within Aladdin but also within my collaboration with Howard”. Ashman died of Aids shortly after writing it and before the film was released. A demo version was included on a special edition of the soundtrack. When the 2014 Broadway version of Aladdin was developed, Proud of Your Boy was reinstated even though the mother was not. Now Menken is keen to get another of the film’s rejected songs, How Quick They Forget, into the stage version: “Maybe I will on the fifth or 10th anniversary of Aladdin.”

[. . .]

Menken is wary of the notion of a trunk of material to be raided whenever inspiration fails to strike. “I work with so many different lyricists. I’m not going to take a song with a lyric by David Zippel and put it into a show I’m doing with Glenn Slater. Songs are written with the DNA of a certain score. Your job is not to hawk one song but to serve the musical as a whole.”

Miranda and Menken are currently collaborating on a live-action film of The Little Mermaid, which started as a Disney animation in 1989 and reached Broadway in 2008. While the pair are writing new songs together, it’s too early to tell if we can expect a series of “Merdrops” in the future. For now, Miranda still has Hamilton ideas – and he’s not throwing away the lot.

#hamilton #broadway #alan menken #lin manuel miranda #the little mermaid #aladdin #the art of making art #the guardian

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airis-paris14 · 6 years

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Take a Break Pt.2

Here’s part 2 of Take a Break. Hope you guys enjoy.

Set in an AU where reader is in love with T’Challa but he is married to Nakia. Together both of the women he love, try to convince him to take a break. Based on the song from the musical Hamilton by Lin Manuel Miranda.

Warnings: none really.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

My dearest T’Challa,

You must get through to the elders, this is the best decision for Wakanda. This decision could truly change the world for the better. Instead of working to solve all of their problems, you alone can not please them all my love, sit down with them and compromise. If they are afraid of attack, work with them to create a safe place for citizens of attacks should arise. Create safety procedures and evacuations, plan for every disaster possible. We as a country can not let fear prevent us from walking into the future, if we can not avoid it, we must plan for it. Don’t stop till you agree. Just always remember, there is someone on your side all the way across the sea. In the letter I got from you, two day ago, I noticed a comma in the middle of your phrase. It changed the meaning of the entire phrase. Did you intend this? One tiny change and you’ve kept me awake at night T’Challa. Usually you write, “my dearest Y/N,” but this time you’ve written “my dearest, Y/N” with the comma after dearest. Implying that I am the dearest thing to you. Any way, all of this to say, I’ll be coming for a visit this summer, I was pleasantly surprised when I received an invitation from my dear friend, Queen Nakia. I understand you are to take a family vacation to an unknown destination. I’ll be there with you and your family when your vacation starts, and I will stay a few weeks after as well. I know the elders are keeping you busy, and your work is of the utmost importance, but I’m crossing the ocean. And I can’t wait to see you face to face, you only be a moment away. I believe this will be good for you as well my King. I look forward to seeing you soon.

With all of my love,

Y/N

T’Challa’s eyes lit up as he read the end of the letter. He quickly placed the letter in a lock box. Once the lock clicked shut he hid the key and the box in his desk before calling his wife.

Nakia’s light blue hologram hovered over his wrist as he stood at the window. “My love,” she smiled at the King’s face. His indescribable joy was contagious as he stared at her through the kimono beads.

“Where are you my love?” T’Challa asked as he started for the door. “I’m in front of the garden my love, are you,” Nakia began. “Don’t move, I am on my way!” T’Challa ended the call and quickly sprinted down the Palace hallways.

He narrowly avoided three crashes as he ran to his wife. When he ran into the flowerbeds and hedges that lined the path to the garden. The aroma of flowers calmed the king as he spotted his wife at the far end of the garden with his daughter. He motioned to his child to stay quiet as he snuck behind her mother.

The hedges aided in his progress as he ducked behind the green leaves. Soon he reached the vibranium bench that Nakia was perched upon. His arms shot out and grabbed her waist. He twirled her around laughing at her shrieks.

“T’Challa, What has gotten into you?” She laughed once he finally set her down beside the bench. “You, you are amazing! You invited Y/N to visit!” He pulled her lips to his and kissed her. She melted into the kiss, hand gesturing for the nanny to take her daughter away. When T’Challa pulled away from the kiss, Nakia took a deep breath and smiled.

“She was my best friend before she was yours,” The queen gently nudged her husband as the ventured between the different flowerbeds. “I know, but I know I have missed her as much as you have,” he offered the woman his arm.

For the first time in months their bodies stayed in constant contact as they navigated through the manicured grounds. They stopped to wave at a few gardeners before heading back towards the palace.

“So, when does she arrive?” T’Challa asked, imagining your bright smile greeting him as you walked down from the jet. “Two weeks, she could not get away from the embassy until then,” Nakia explained.

“I’m glad you are excited, I would love to stay and chat. But I was invited to s tea party with our daughter, care to tag along?” Nakia offered a few moments later. They stood in the empty hallway in front of their bedroom door. T’Challa gently drew circles on the back of both of her hands. “I wish I could, but I have a meeting with the elders that I am already late for. Send my greetings to the host?”

Nakia nodded solemnly, leaning in as he kissed her temple. “I’ll see you both later, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Nakia added as he walked towards the throne room. Her words lost in the air.

Days felt like years as the young king battled with the elders. “My king, why go through all of this trouble when we could simply close the borders? Why spend all of this money preparing for an attack, that could be prevented by going back to tradition?” The mining tribe elder argued. The other tribal leaders voiced their support as T’Challa’s headache grew.

“With all respect the world around us is changing, and catching up. Eventually people would have discovered Wakanda and all that it has to offer, if we open our own borders we can control what becomes public knowledge. This is the safest course of action for our country and our traditions. We can not let fear, prohibit progress towards the future.” T’Challa explained.

The large vibranium doors sliding open pulled everyone’s attention from the king as Nakia entered the room. The elders all stood and saluted their Queen. Nakia stood halfway up the large carpet runner, waiting for T’Challa to make his move.

“Meeting adjourned,” T’Challa commanded the elders filed out one by one. “Y/N is arriving today,” Nakia began as she approached the throne. “Will you be able to journey with us?”

“I’m afraid not my love, the elders are still hell bent on closing Wakanda again, but that is hard to do once people know of us.” T’Challa sighed as he stood and greeted his wife. Her body felt warm against his as they embraced. His hands rubbed lazy circles on her lower back while they rested against each other.

“Will you join us to greet her then? I refuse to be the bearer of bad news in this T’Challa,” Nakia replied as they began walking to the landing pad. “I will explain, Y/N is a sensible woman, she will understand.” T’Challa smiled. He felt as though he was walking on air.

“She is sensible in everything except that which concerns you,” Nakia mumbled.

The sun beat down on the royal family as the jet flew over head. T’Challa nervously fiddled with his closing as the flyer gently landed on the tarmac. “You look fine kumkani wam,”Nakia smiled as she smoothed his lapel.

Nakia leaned in for a kiss, but T’Challa’s attention was drawn away as you walked down the ramp. You looked just as beautiful as he remembered. Your hair was flowing free around your face. Your figure had filled out and the sun dress floated around you as you stepped off the ship.

Nakia was long forgotten as the king took off running. You turned to grab your bags from an attendant, T’Challa grabbed your waist and spun you around. “Ahh, T’Challa!” You screamed as he spun you around.

He put you down and pulled you in for a hug. He buried his face in your neck while he marveled at the fact that your body was pressed against his. For a split second, the world felt right.

“T’Challa, let me look at you,” You gushed as you ran your fingers over his face. “I like your beard,” you smiled running your fingers over his beard. Tracing a design in between his curly hair. “You look great,” you smiled, clearing your throat as you realized how close you were to the king.

T’Challa stepped back as well and took in your figure. His hands held yours. “You look amazing as well, I’ve missed you so much,” he sighed. Nakia walked up behind her husband and smiled at Y/N.

“Nakia!” You screamed as you pulled the queen into her arms. “I’ve missed you Y/N,” The queen smiled. “Y/N,please tell my husband that M’Baku and Erik spend their summers with their families.”

You looked over at T’Challa, “T’Challa,” you began. “Y/N, tell my wife that N’jadaka doesn’t have a real job anyway,” T’Challa countered.

“What of M’Baku?” Nakia fired back. “Wait,wait, and wait. T’Challa do not tell me I flew over the WHOLE Atlantic Ocean, for you to not go on this trip.” You crossed your arms.

“Y/N, please. I just got the elders to agree to creating emergency plans. I can’t leave now.,” T’Challa sighed. “T’Challa take a break. Run away with us for the summer. Let’s go to the states! What better place than to plan for working with the country than visiting. Diplomatic meetings, research, and vacation. Quality checks on the out reach centers?” You suggested.

“Y/N, entle. I would love to, but I can’t not right now at least. I trust you both, together you and Nakia could do those things.”

You and Nakia each grabbed a hand. “T’Challa, take a break my love, come visit with your children. I know there’s a place we can go.” Nakia offered.

“Yes, I can watch the children and you two can spend time alone,” you smile and wiggled your eyebrows. T’Challa groaned inwardly, wishing you knew you were the one he wanted alone.

“That sounds wonderful T’Challa,” Nakia smiled at her husband. “Please T’Challa, take a break,” you begged.

“I can’t leave till I get this plan in progress. I’m sorry my loves,” T’Challa apologized. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before placing one on Nakia’s cheek. “I will see you both at dinner.”

As you watched T’Challa walk off into the distance. You reached out and grabbed Nakia’s hand. “I guess it’s just me and you girl.”

“I guess it’s just me and you,” she smiled and shook her head, “ so tell me about America.”

Taglist:

@brianabreeze @sisterwifeudaku @90sinspiredgirl @heybriheyy @strictlyashley @afraiddreamingandloving @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @royallyprincesslilly @naturally-bri @grantsgorgeousgirl @wikiwakanda @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs

#bpapfics #tabfic #tchalla #tchalla fanfiction #blackpantherimagines #tchalla imagine #tchalla x reader #tchalla x you #tchalla x nakia #shuri udaku

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esmiblood90irisglimmer · 6 years

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He used to be mine (Hamilton fanfic)

Sequel to: Remember Me (forgot to mention that its modern AU)

Song: She used to be mine (Waitress), but I decided to change a few words and made it more male version in which I don’t own the song

Anyway, roll type!

Modern AU

Alexander Hamilton has another dreadful day at work in which brought his eight children along with him. It’s like bringing a small group kindergarten to a field trip by the way how people look at him. Many men were snickering behind his back or would pity him. Women gave him a disapproving look not saying a word while some of them were be gossiping to creature rumors to go around town. Though they don’t know the whole story that Alexander is enduring. The pain he still feels three months when his wife, Elizabeth Schuyler abandoned him and his eight children behind. He didn't understand why she would abandon the children as well when they needed her the most. Well, that doesn’t anymore since he tore her picture off the family portrait for good. Philip and Angelica worry their Papa the most since it’s been on him the most ever since Eliza left. Though they also felt betrayed by their mother since how could she? How dare she abandoned her family and longtime husband? No one knew, not even the Caribbean immigrant. It was best for him and the rest of the Hamilton children to forget their mother.

All her pictures were taken off from the walls of their house. Hamilton replaces her pictures with the children pictures from their 1st birthdays to the current days. Just without Eliza in any of them. It was hard to accept the fact that Eliza is now gone from their lives forever but it’s her choice.

It was pouring cats and dogs in the city of New York whereas the eight children were happily dry up from their baths. Alexander decided to put all them to sleep after letting him finish their hot cocoa. The youngers quadruplets were easily put down to sleep whereas the older quadruplets it was a bit tougher but they obey their father wishes. Alexander watches his children sleeping peacefully in which ease his shattered heart. Walking toward his bedroom before looking deeply in the mirror of the reflection of his younger self back in high school. The loudmouth and overconfident boy he once knew but soon became a heartbroken single father of eight children. He thought he knew himself but turns out...he doesn’t know about himself anymore.

It’s not simple to way

That most days I don’t recognize me

That this tie and this suit

That office and its patrons

Have taken more than I gave them

It’s not easy to know

I’m not anything like I use to be, although it’s true

I use to be the attention sweet center

I still remember that boy

The high school Hamilton often challenged his theater teacher Mr. King III mostly every day during senior year. In fact, that’s what made him very likable and unlikeable by some of peers but he didn’t care. By the end of the senior year, Hamilton written the most popular hip-hop broadway musical based on Lin Miranda Manuel. It was beautiful and a lot of fun to do with his friends and adoptive parents. Soon in college, he works very hard about becoming a lawyer. Now that what he is and was very happy about it especially after marrying Eliza. Soon when the first quadruplet came along, that’s when Hamilton began focusing on bringing more money to support his wife and children. It was tiring but it was worth spending many all-nighters. Once the second quadruplet came into his life that when Hamilton began working even harder than ever.

He never admits but Alexander always felt ashamed of himself for being a poor husband that could barely provide for Eliza and his children. He often felt guilty about working late in the office while he misses dinner and other things. His darker part of his mind would taunt him non stop deceiving the Caribbean immigrant that he wasn’t good enough for Eliza nor his children. That they would leave him one day in which only one part came true. Still, Alexander lied for a month after Eliza left telling friends that she went out of town for charity work. Though both Peggy and Laurens knew better than that and didn’t understand why was Alexander lying to them before spilling the truth.

He’s imperfect, but he tries

He is good, but he lies

He is hard on himself

He is broken and won’t ask for help

He is messy, but he kind

He is lonely, most of the time

He is all of this and written up in a beautiful story

He is gone, but he used to be mine

The reflection of his younger Hamilton disappears before him as the reflection only reveal his current self. The man he thought he knew but turns that Alexander Hamilton is more of a stranger to himself than anyone else before him. Looking at the sleeping children as they look very innocent angelic like creatures. Alexander Hamilton never really wanted kids before until seeing some of his friends adopting and having babies which made him jealous. When he has Philip, Angelica, AJ, and James that one night is when Alexander world light up a bit. Two years later when John, Williams, Eliza, and PJ were born they ’re everything to him. But the fear of not being a good father to his eight children and soon eventually fail his marriage life with Eliza. Tears began streaming down the father’s face as the fear and the darkness of his mind was sinking their nails into him.

It’s not what I asked for

Sometimes life slips in through a back door

And craves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true

And now they got me

And I’m not what they ask for

If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back

For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two

For that, I knew

Philip quietly watch his father from distant whereas he saw his father sniffing while letting out a sob or two. It breaks the young boy heart to see his Pop ’s stressing out ever since his mother left. That part always gets to everyone especially to PJ since being the youngest and oblivious one in the family. He didn’t understand what the word “abandoned” meant to him. But he surely knows that their mother will never be coming back anytime or any day soon. Philip felt tears of his own rolling down his cheeks sharing the same pain with his father. It’ll be rough for Alexander Hamilton raising eight kids by himself but knowing his father will rise up again even during at his lowest point.

Who'll be reckless, just enough

Who’ll get hurt, but knows to toughens up

When he’s bruise and gets stranded by a wife who hates him

And then he’ll get stuck

And be scared of the life that’s before him

Growing stronger each day ‘til finally reminds him

To fight back just a little, to bring back the fire in his him

Who’s been gone, but used to be mine

Used to be mine

Alexander Hamilton eventually broke down before landing on the floor on his knees. Wanting to go back in time and rewrite his life and hopefully patch things up with his wife. Maybe if he didn’t work so much in the office then perhaps Eliza abandoning him would never happen in the first place. If Alexander had major in literature then maybe he could’ve been a well-known author and didn’t have to work so much and miss many events with his family. His relationship with Eliza could’ve grown stronger each day by their love and trust for each other. Though it could never happen since that all flew out of the window but his children are still with him but the young father often believe that they hated him. They hated him for their mother’s abandoning them but it wasn’t true at all. Eliza was one that made the choice not Alexander’s. Though the immigrant didn’t wanna believe it until suddenly he felt small arms wrapping themselves around his neck.

The young father look up to see Philip hugging him with his small arms comforting him while crying himself. Both son and father hug each other and cry with one another. They didn’t how long it last but must’ve been five minutes even though for both father and son it must have felt like an hour or longer. Philip wipes his father tears away while putting a smile on his small freckle face. This brought back when Alexander was comforting his mother after his father abandoned him, his brother, and their mother. Leaving all of his debts for her to deal but both Hamilton and his older brother often manage to save any money they receive from working for their neighbors or school. They saw their mother from being weak and distress single mother into one of Alexander inspiration to continue with school and his education. Despite losing his mother and brother at a young age is when he knew that Alexander can make a difference and be an inspiration to his own children.

He’s is messy, but he’s kind

He is lonely most of the time

He is all of this and written up in a beautiful story

He is gone, but he used to be mine

This literally took me almost five hours to get this done because of distractions and life. Anyway, hope you like it

#alexander hamilton #HAMILTRASH #hamilton an american musical #Hamilton fanfic #Hamilton #She used to be mine (male version)#Waitress song #Modern AU #Single father au #angst #heartbroken #scared

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kentremendousblog · 6 years

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Tom and Lin-Manuel: An Appreciation/Jealous Rant

Every writer has a golden period – a chunk of time when her brain is ripest, when the veins he is tapping are the richest, when the ideas, big and small, spill out over the sides of the bucket instead of having to be patiently collected like drops of rain off a leaf. This is true for songwriters, playwrights, novelists, screenwriters, anyone who writes anything in any genre. Go look at John Hughes’s IMDb page and marvel at his golden period, which I would bookend as 1983-1990. It’s outrageous. He wrote Vacation, Mr. Mom, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Uncle Buck, and Home Alone in eight years. Eight years?! That’s absurd.

But then look at his next 20 years. You won’t find one movie that is better than the worst one he wrote in those seven years. The vein ran dry. It always does. That’s just the deal.

Tom Petty’s golden period never ended. Or, at least, the silver periods on either side of his golden period were seemingly infinite. No matter where you think he peaked -- Full Moon Fever, or Wildflowers, or Damn the Torpedoes -- the decades on either side were wonderful. He was great from the moment he released his first album in 1977 to the day he died last month. For forty years he wrote, and wrote, and wrote, and the songs he wrote were good or great or amazing.

Tom Petty wrote “Breakdown” and “American Girl” in 1977. He wrote “You Don’t Know How it Feels” seventeen years later, in 1994. He wrote “You Got Lucky” in 1982, “King’s Highway” in 1992, “The Last DJ” in 2002. He wrote “I Won’t Back Down,” “Runnin’ Down a Dream,” Free Fallin’,” “Love is a Long Road,” “A Face in the Crowd,” Yer So Bad,” and “The Apartment Song,” and “Depending on You,” all in 1989, and they were all on the same album, and that’s absurd.

He wrote “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” in 1981 and “Big Weekend” in 2006. He wrote every song on Wildflowers – and they are all great – in or around 1994. He wrote fifty other great songs I haven’t named yet, like “Don’t Come Around Here No More” and “Jammin Me.” He wrote great songs you've heard a million times, and great songs you've maybe never heard, like "Billy the Kid" (1999) and "Walls" (1996) which was buried on the soundtrack to She's the One. He took a break from the Heartbreakers and casually released “End of the Line” and “Handle With Care” and “She’s My Baby” with the Traveling Wilburys in 1989-90. He wrote “Refugee” in 1980 and “I Should Have Known It” in 2010. Is there any rock and roll songwriter alive who wrote two songs that good, 30 years apart? (Paul McCartney wrote “Hey Jude” in 1968, and only 12 years later he wrote “Wonderful Christmas Time,” which is so bad it nearly retroactively undid “Hey Jude.”)

He wrote about rock and roll things, like ’62 Cadillacs, getting out of this town, and dancing with Mary Jane. He wrote about love and loss and heartbreak. He wrote legitimately funny jokes, and moribund memories, and personal narratives, and imaginative flights of fancy. One of his characters calls his father his “old man” and it somehow isn’t cheesy. He was from Florida and California and wrote about both of them, and every time I’m on Ventura Boulevard I think of vampires, because the images he wrote are indelible.

Petty didn’t just write songs directed at women, like most rock stars. He wrote about women, and he wrote for women, and he wrote with women. He treated the women in his songs as lovingly and respectfully as he treated the men. He cared about them as much, he spent as much time thinking about them, and he liked them as much, and all of that is rare.

He wrote simply, but not boringly. He made his characters three-dimensional, somehow, in a matter of seconds. There’s a famous (probably apocryphal) story about Hemingway bragging he could write an entire novel in six words, then writing: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” I prefer the 18-word novel Petty wrote as the first verse to “Down South” –

Headed back down south Gonna see my daddy's mistress Gonna buy back her forgiveness Pay off every witness

When I was working on Parks and Recreation, whenever we needed a song to score an important moment in Leslie Knope’s life, we chose a Tom Petty song. It started with “American Girl,” when her biggest career project came to fruition. It was “Wildflowers” when she said goodbye to her best friend. It was “End of the Line” at the moment the show ended. For the seven seasons of our show, Tom Petty was the writer we trusted to explain how our main character was feeling, because he wrote so much, so well, for so long.

*******

It seems like a joke, Hamilton -- a joke in a TV show where one of the characters is a struggling New York actor, and is always dragging his friends to his terrible plays. Like Joey in Friends. There’s an episode of Friends where Joey is in a terrible musical called like Freud!, about Sigmund Freud, and you get to see some of it, and it’s predictably terrible. Freud! the musical is arguably a better idea than Hamilton the musical.

I’m far from the first person to say this -- I’m probably somewhere around the millionth person to write about Hamilton, and the maybe 500,000th to make this particular point, but it needs to be said -- a hip-hop Broadway musical about the founding fathers is an astoundingly terrible idea. Lin-Manuel Miranda should never have written it. As soon as he started to write it, he should’ve said to himself, “What the fuck am I doing?!” and stopped. And after he got halfway through, he should’ve junked it, gotten really drunk, and moved on with his life, and made his wife and friends swear to never mention the weird six months where he was trying to write a hip-hop musical about Alexander Hamilton. I literally guarantee you that when Lin-Manuel Miranda first told his friends what he was writing, every one of them reacted with at best a frozen smile, and at worst a horrified recoiling. Some of them might have been outwardly encouraging – “sounds awesome bud! Go get 'em!” But then later, alone, they would call each other and say What the fuck is he doing?

There is a moment, in Hamilton, when what you are watching overwhelms you. (It’s not the same moment for everyone, but most everyone has one, I suspect.) It’s the moment when the enormity, the complexity, the meaning of it, the entirety of it, overpowers you, and you realize that what you are experiencing is new – new both in your specific life, and new, like, on Earth. The first time I saw it, that moment was a line in the middle of “Yorktown.” Hamilton sang the line And so the American experiment begins / With my friends all scattered to the winds, and I burst into tears in a way I hadn’t since I was 10 and a baseball went through a guy’s legs in the World Series. Something about how casually he says that – And so the American experiment begins – just settled over me, like a collapsing tent, and this thing I was watching wasn’t in front of me, it was everywhere around me, and it was exhilarating and transformative.

(If I could put this part in a footnote, I would, but I don’t know how to, so: I should mention that I am very far from a musical theater aficionado. I have seen maybe eight musicals in my life. Not only did I not expect to cry, hard, during Hamilton, I did not expect to enjoy it. I saw it like a week after it opened on Broadway, kind of on a whim, knew nothing about it, and the last thing I said to my wife, as the lights went down, was: “We’ll leave at intermission.”)

The second time I saw it, that moment came much earlier (I knew what I was getting into, this time, so I was more ready to be subsumed). It came barely three minutes in, when the entire cast of the show, in a piece of choreography that can best be referred to as “badass,” all walk down to the very front of the stage and stand, shoulder to shoulder, and sing very loudly about how Alexander Hamilton never learned to take his time. The cast has, to this point, trickled on stage, slowly, one by one, telling you Hamilton’s origin story, and then suddenly there they all are, all of them -- maybe 20? 50? It seems like 1000? – as close to the audience as they can get, and they are every size and ethnicity and gender, and their voices are loud, and I thought to myself, oh my God, this is a cast of people descended from every nation on Earth, all singing about the foundations of the American experience, and yes I “knew” that, intellectually, but holy shit, now that I see them all, I know it, like in my stomach, I understand it, and what a thing that is.

The third time I saw Hamilton, that moment was during “It’s Quiet Uptown,” when this enormous, sprawling, improbable, otherworldly, multi-ethnic, historical, art tornado presses pause on all of its historical-cultural-ethno-sociological-artistic investigations, and spends four and a half spare minutes with a couple who are grieving an unimaginable tragedy. Specifically, it was the lines

Forgiveness Can you imagine? Forgiveness Can you imagine?

What a thing to do, for your characters -- to give them four and a half minutes in the middle of an enormous, sprawling, historical swirl, to just be sad. What a piece of writing that is.

(Again, should be a footnote, but: as long as I’m talking about writers here, I should point out that if the late Harris Wittels were alive, he would, at this moment, text me and hit me with a “humblebrag” for writing about how I have seen Hamilton three times, and he would be right. Miss you Harris!)

In the hundreds of hours of my life I have spent thinking about Hamilton since I first saw it – far more hours than any other single piece of art I have ever experienced – I have revisited that same thought over and over: he never should’ve written it. It was an absurd thing to do. It took him a year to write the title song, then another year to write the second song, and how did he not give up when two years had gone by and he’d written two songs? He must’ve known in his heart it needed to be a 50-song, 2 1/2-hour enterprise, and he had two songs after two years, and he kept going. How did he keep going? I've been trying to write this blog post about two writers I admire for different reasons since the week Tom Petty died, and I’ve almost given up five times.

At this point, the entire musical is that "moment" for me. It's the whole thing, now – the thing that overwhelms me is the whole thing. The conception of it, the writing of it, the rewriting of it. The music and the motifs and the themes and the threads and the dramatic shape and the characters and their inner lives, and the eagle-eye writer’s view it took to keep all of that in his head, all of it, the whole time. The writing of it. The utterly impossible writing of it.

#writing #hamilton #tompetty #lin-manuel miranda

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silvahhauntah · 6 years

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Hamilton: Lines that shouldn’t have been cut. (My opinion!)

Let it Go (Outtake)

This one is probably my favourite song/outtake I love Eliza’s notes, I love Washinton’s entrance, I love:

[Eliza]: I gotta go, I gotta find Alexander!

[Phillip]: Let him know we’re on his side!

[Eliza]: No. He’ll consider this a personal slander, I’ve gotta stop a homicide!

[Phillip]: Oh!

[Phillip & Eliza]: Look around, We should Look around, Let’s go and find (Your/My) father down in New York! New York!

We finally figure out the origins of Burr’s “Talk less, (Burr!) Smile more, (Burr!)” lines, and why they seem so normal to the crowd.

In “The Election of 1800” there is a rather interesting conversation between Thomas Jefferson and James Madison that makes a little more sense with the help of this song.

[Jefferson]: So now I’m facing-

[Jefferson & Madison]: Aaron Burr(./?)

[Jefferson]: With his own faction?

Yes, his faction. Burr has quite the following. Jefferson, historically, after many, many ties, wins by only one vote. So yes, Burr has quite the following.

[Eliza]: You’re smiling because you know I’m right.

[Hamilton]: HA!

[Eliza]: —And you know that if the President were here he’d tell you the same thing.

[Hamilton]: No, the President’s not here—

[Washington]: I heard about Burr! You didn’t kill him did you?

[Hamilton]: ...Were you here this whole time?

Ten Things One Thing (Original Version of The World was Wide Enough)

Most of my love for this song comes from Hamilton’s take on events.

“Actually I wrote two, just in case I didn’t make it through, I wanted the world to know what I intended to do.”

“My Eliza is still asleep, I left her a letter, I could’ve written it better.”

“My last thought is of Eliza, maybe I can get back home before she opens her eyes.”

“The sun is in my eyes I am almost giddy as I watch it slowly rise over my New York City.”

“I start shaking when I realize that we are in the same spot my sun died is that why- I examine the gun that we shared, Phillip never hurt a soul, he must’ve been so scared.”

“I put my glasses on so I can see if Burr is softening, I see him glaring back at me. He’s always hated dueling, hated confrontation. I never shared his instinct for self-preservation.”

“I feel a sense of calm fill me: It’s not in his political interest to kill me.”

I like Hamilton’s take on things. I do enjoy the panic attack in which Eliza brings him calm during the storm of his mind, but I feel like this is more personal.

However, Lin-Manuel Miranda did an excellent job anyways.

#hamilton #lin manuel miranda #hamilton outtakes

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shadowmaat · 6 years

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Tagged by: @terribletwiceling for a random ask meme thing!

Rules: Always post the rules. answer 11 random questions posted for you. create 11 new ones and tag 11 people. Let the person who tagged you know that you answered.

1. What is the best thing to put on toast?

That depends on circumstances. If I’m eating it WITH something (eggs, for example) I usually stick to just butter. If it’s just toast I’ll add cinnamon sugar if I have any. Although right now we have a jar of blood orange marmalade that’s really tasty.

2. What’s your favorite boardgame?

It’s been forever since I’ve been able to play. I used to love Trivial Pursuit. Which probably tells you how long it’s been since I’ve played boardgames. ;) I also loved Mousetrap when I was a kid (although technically it was just the Rube Goldberg device I really loved) and briefly had Snakes & Ladders on my phone before deleting it for more space.

3. If you were to answer a questionnaire, what question would you want to answer?

One that doesn’t require any thinking to answer.

4. Would you rather drink nothing but decaffeinated black coffee for the rest of your life, or eat nothing but dry ramen?

Decaf all the way.

5. What is your favourite berry out of the following: Watermelon, Banana, Tomato?

Banana. I love watermelon, but bananas work with more things and are easier to transport.

6. Cheese or Chocolate?

It’s tempting to say chocolate, but technically cheese appears in a lot more of the foods I eat on a regular basis.

7. What superpower would be the most useful?

The ability to understand every language- spoken, written, or signed.

8. If you had to relive one day forever, like in groundhog day, what day would you want it to be?

I would never in a million years want to suffer through this, but I guess maybe the family trip to Disney World when I was 8. Fun stuff to do, very few deep real world concerns, less crippling anxiety, and all of us were alive and together and relatively happy.

9. Would you rather be functionally immortal for 100 years, or rich? Either way, how would you spend your time now that you don’t need to worry about providing for yourself?

Rich. Easily. I’d be able to take care of myself and my family, which would mean less stress for everyone. I’d get to travel more and see/meet my friends. And if I or anyone got sick I’d be able to help them. Plus I’d be able to commission all my favorite authors and support so many patreons and donate to good charities. There are also circumstances where being immortal would be awful: trapped in a burning building, stuck at the bottom of the ocean, etc.

10. What is the fastest animal you have petted?

A peregrine falcon.

11. What are your three favorite songs / music tracks?

We Know the Way- Opetaia Foa’i & Lin-Manuel Miranda So Long, Farewell, Goodbye- Big Bad Voodoo Daddy I’m Your Moon- Jonathan Coulton

Okay, and now I have to come up with 11 questions for other people to answer? Ugh, let’s see...

1. What’s your favorite type of doughnut/pastry? 2. What was the last song you got stuck in your head? 3. Weirdest dream you can remember? 4. Which actor/actress do you think deserves more attention? 5. If you were a penguin, what type would you be? 6. You get to spend a week’s vacation in the fictional ‘verse of your choice, including fanfic AUs. Where do you go? 7. Favorite dumb joke? 8. Hard cider, beer, or soda/cola/pop/non-alcoholic fizzy stuff? 9. What kind of loot would players get from you if you were an NPC? 10. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? 11. What’s the strangest object in the room you’re in right now?

Tagging: @camomility @sl-walker @mxdelusional @lilmisscopypaster @sunsetofdoom @jedtheguy @the-last-hair-bender @eliciadonze @lieutfaber @testchamberphi and anyone else who wants in.

#you must all suffer with me

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sssoto · 7 years

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Creator’s update #1

Hey guys! So I’ve decided to start actually blogging on this blog and tell a bit about the various things I’m working on, share WIPs, music I’ve been digging recently etc. I realise that I rarely post anything, so it seems like I’m super inactive - which is totally not true, I just have so much stuff going on and take a long time to finish things, and I’m also pretty picky about what I put up online lol! For the sake of keeping those of you interested in the loop, I’m gonna start this series of creator’s updates in which I’ll update y’all on the progress I’ve made on my various creative projects. The goal is to give an update a few times a month (hopefully lol)!

This past while I’ve been super inactive in the writing department, but very much productive in the art department, so my writing update will be mostly a summary of what I’ve been doing the past few years up until this point.

Mood: Feelin’ real good cuz my parents finally brought my comfy double bed over from my mum’s place this past weekend, which means no more sleeping on the couch yaaaaaas.

Music I’ve been digging recently:

Skye Sweetnam - Boyhunter So, the other day I randomly listened to this song on my way home from work, and I totally realised that Skye Sweetnam is the perfect voice for my character Caitlyn, and this song totally embodies what Caitlyn is all about lmaoooo. (The song isn’t very accurate to the time period Caitlyn lives in, but it’s super accurate to her character essence and personality, and I just find that so lit hahahah)

Fallulah - Out of It This song is basically my MC’s theme song?? It’s performed by a Danish artist and was super popular in Denmark a few years back as it was the theme tune to a Danish tv show (a show I loved!). The lyrics are just so Daniel, it’s not even funny. It mostly fits his mental state at the beginning of Renaissance.

Girl’s Day - Love Again Ugh I just love the tune of this song so much, I can’t really place my finger on it, the emotion is just so great. I love the guitar riff especially, and Girl’s Day is a four member girl group, so it’s one of those songs where I can imagine my main girls Annaliese, Caitlyn, Mary and Serena singing as each member lmao.

Nine Muses - Remember Another four member group now, this song is also one where I can imagine my main girls singing each member’s part lmao, and having that aspect to a song always makes it a little better for me! Forreal tho, this new release from Nine Muses slays, and we all know it. The music video haunts me.

Sistar - Lonely This song makes me sad and happy all at once, cuz I’m not ready to say goodbye to Sistar, but at the same time this ending is probably the best one any fan could’ve wished for because there was no drama or anger, just well wishes and hope for the future. I know these girls will go far, and this song just pulls at all my heart strings man. The melody of the bridge and chorus, Dasom and Soyu’s parts in particular, really works for me. And yeah, Sistar has four members too, and once again I can picture my main girls singing as each member lmao. It’s a thing I have, okay?

Moana OST - We Know The Way + Know Who You Are I recently watched this movie, and while I sorta felt like the plot was a bit rushed and tropey in many ways, I totally adored the visuals and the MUSIC OMG. These two songs are my favourite, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s vocals never miss, and Auli’i Cravalho’s high note is gorgeous! Also dat choir in the background tho, and in context with the movie scene that song just makes me irrationally emotional mkay. (That ending was the best twist ever, it definitely lifted the story up a notch for me!)

Writing

So I’m writing a book! You might have seen me mention it a few times already on here, but I’ve not really shared much insight into my process or what sort of book this actually is (other than talking about characters here and there), and as I’ve not been making huge progress lately (I’m in an art state of mind duuuh), I thought that I’d keep this section short and sweet, with a bit of an introduction into what my book project is all about.

I call it a book project because I don’t feel comfortable just calling it a book when I don’t have rights to publish. Technically my book is a fanfiction based on the horror video game Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and as such I don’t own copyright of the small percentage of my story that features the canon elements. However, I take this as seriously as anyone else would writing their own book, because I’ve poured my entire heart and soul into it, and the vast majority of the content (plot, characters and world) is my original creation. It’s my own little big project lol!

You might be familiar with the game, and even if you aren’t, that’s not a prerequisite for reading my book since everything is introduced and set up just as in any regular book. The protagonist is an Englishman named Daniel, and we know little of his past through the game. I won’t go into too much detail on what the game is about (if you really wanna know, you can look it up), but the point of my book is to explore the protagonist’s life from his childhood up to the events of the game and beyond, and afterwards connect his story to the game sequels featuring other protagonists within the same universe. It’s a bit complex and elaborate, which is just the way I like it!

As the games are set at various points during the Victorian era (game #1 is set in Prussia 1839, game #2 is set in France 1858, and game #3 is set in England 1899), you can probably guess that the entire thing will be pretty long. That’s why I’m making it a series! I have at least seven books planned so far (though there’ll definitely be more, since I’m not near the end of the timeline I need to cover yet), and I currently have the first book written and am writing the sequel - however, the first book will need a complete rewrite once I’m finished with book #2, because I’ve since developed and changed a lot of stuff, and I have many new interesting ideas for a more fleshed out version of the first book. Still, the fanfic version is available online, so if you’d like to read it, you can find it here. You’ll get a pretty good idea of the general story and the characters, but keep in mind that it’s super outdated and will be very different after my rewrite!

For reference, this is the list of books that I’ve planned (and titled) so far, so you can keep up with what book of my series I’m talking about at any given point:

I - Amnesia: Memoirs

II - Amnesia: Renaissance

III - Amnesia: Voyage

IV - Amnesia: Noir

V - Amnesia: Encore

VI - Amnesia: Rogue

So what I’m doing right now with this project is revisions. Uuuuggghhhhh. Yes, that’s right, I’m stuck in revision hell. I’ve not even finished the first draft of Renaissance yet (I know, sacrilege, writing blasphemy, don’t start your damn edits until you’ve finished your draft dumbass), but I had some pretty major changes to make, changes so big that it would be a waste of time and effort to go on drafting without implementing them first. Mainly the changes are surrounding 1) a change of ages of my main cast (I aged many characters up a few years), and 2) changing and figuring out the specifics of the illness which my MC’s sister, Hazel, is afflicted with. She’s not such a major character in Renaissance, but she plays a big role in Memoirs, and since I had all these new ideas for the rewrite of that, I wanted to implement the ripple effects in the second book so it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to edit later when Renaissance is a finished 3-400k first draft lmao (I have a lot of words okay?). These changes mostly affect the early chapters of my book - chapters I wrote about three years ago, which means that these early chapters really need a face-lift. In addition to the age and illness change, I wanna revise the first five chapters by cutting the fluff and tightening up the beginning so we get to the action a tiny bit faster. Adding to the fact that these early chapters are three years old, the prose also needs an almost complete rewrite. So long story short, all of the edits are taking a long ass time, and I’m not having a good time lmao. Doesn’t help that I had to stop drafting right at one of the juiciest scenes in my book?!?!? (that’s a lie, it gets juicier, but I was just getting to the real good stuff yanno?)

(Side note: for someone who said that I’d keep this short, it sure turned out long lmao. I just have too many damn words.)

Chapters edited: 2/16 (working on 3 right now and it’s an effin’ pain)

Current total word count: 120,591

Current total chapter count: 17 (the number will go down to 16 once I finish the revisions, as I’m merging two chapters)

Look at all the dumb shit I still have to edit for chapter 3. Look at it.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Art

Man, I’ve been doing a lot of artwork recently, and by a lot, I don’t mean that I’ve finished any.

I think I’ve been focused on developing my actual drawing skills rather than making finished illustrations, because I’ve been so overwhelmed with inspiration and I’ve wanted to try out drawing a bunch of different motives, so my mind is on a lot of different art projects at once, and I’m making baby steps of progress on each of them because I just wanna do everything lmao. I should probably take a step back and settle on one thing at a time, but at the same time, I feel like this is working for me because I’m so inspired and motivated and super excited for every single art piece; I don’t feel myself losing interest in any of them, in fact I just feel like my switching between different artworks keeps every piece fresh and interesting for me, yanno?

So here’s one thing that I’ve been slowly chipping away at for the past few months. I’m drawing a full body group picture of my main cast from Renaissance!

I’ve drawn the anatomy sketches of all the male characters (though I’m debating whether I should add some others), and now I’m adding the female characters one by one, so these are not all of the characters yet. But man, I just love seeing the characters side by side? The variety in their body language, body types and heights is just so interesting to look at, and it’ll be even better once I get around to actually adding their facial features, expressions, hair, attire, and then colouring them as well omg! I’m a sucker for this kind of thing, blame it on @juliajm15 and her amazing diverse character designs.

It’s gonna be a huge picture with a lot of characters, and I’m stoked for it!! This is a piece which I hope I’ll be able to show ya’ll the progress of bit by bit in every few updates. (also, if you feel somewhat familiar with some of my characters, you’re welcome to make guesses at who’s who (; )

Another project I’m working on is making official character portraits of my main cast (and possibly minor characters as well). I just think it’s nice to have official portraits as reference for anyone who’d like to see what the characters look like, and also for myself for whenever I need to refresh the specific features and expression of each character. It’s just a nice thing that satiates my very Type A personality lmao!

So the characters above are Owen Wright (to the left) , Daniel’s puppy bff with the fluffy hair, and then from left to right I’m colouring the portraits of the Armstrong siblings: Caleb, Caitlyn and Tristan. Their dad is a duke! n.n Caleb is the oldest, Caitlyn the youngest, and Tristan is the bland middle child. He’s a little brat LOL but I still love him.

Also, due to this glorious reference I found, I finally figured out how to draw Daniel. Bless this model, I never knew I wanted Daniel to have big puffy lips, but apparently I do.

He looks actually nice now? Which is nice? I’m amazed. Also his hair? I can never draw his hair, but this looks nice so yay? Also, I dunno why I never draw clothes on him, I guess I’m just lazy lol, but he’s gonna need to wear clothes for the official character portrait soooo... That’s a thing I’m gonna have to do.

Now that I’ve figured out his features, it’s gonna be fun to remodel all his family members accordingly. I sense that he’ll have gotten those cute puffy lips from his mum meheheheh.

I also did some Disney fanart of my two favourite Disney ladies; Esmeralda and Kida <3

I actually never really draw fanart any more, it’s been yeeeaaaars since I did, and when I used to do it, I was always very particular about staying as true to the original art style as possible. But now that I’ve spent the past couple years focusing on developing my own art style, I actually decided not to care about that so much and just draw the characters the way I’m used to drawing my own, and lo and behold - it looks pretty accurate to the Disney style?? I assumed that the characters would end up looking very different, but other than the eyes being smaller I feel like they look the exact same lmao. It’s interesting to me, because even when I used to do fanart, I usually did so of Japanese art and manga, not of Disney or any other western art. Also, I don’t consider my own style very Disney, but it pleases me a lot that the characters look so much like themselves even in my art style! The most important thing to me is to capture the essence of the character anyway, so any fan can recognise the character they love so much n.n

So that’s about it for this round! I’ve been working on other things as well, but I’d rather not disclose them to the public just yet - perhaps later, when I’ve made more progress, or (gasp!) actually finished something!! Bahahah, with the many things I’m working on, hell will freeze over before that day comes. *cries*

Youtube

I’m adding this Youtube section because, in addition to writing and doing artwork, I also like to record vocal covers (mainly of kpop songs, but I’ll do anything I’m in the mood for at any given point), aaaaand as of today I'm gonna be uploading speedpaints as well! Which is probably good since I don’t upload my covers nearly as often as I finish them lmao.

I’ve not uploaded any new covers recently (though I really should, I do have some covers lying around on my laptop mwerp), but I’m gonna list a couple of my favourite covers I have on my channel here so you can take a listen if you’d like!

youtube

And today I uploaded my very first speedpaint to my channel, so check that out if you’re interested in that sort of stuff! It’s the process of my Christmas portrait piece for Serena. I aim to be more consistent with uploads since I have a few unedited recordings lying around, so keep an eye out for that!

youtube

If you’ve read this far, thank you for sticking around and taking a look at my work, even if it’s only in WIP form. I wanted to start doing these updates because I’ve been watching my friends do them for a long time, and I always love reading their writing updates; they motivate me so much to get working on my own stuff, and I just wanna be able to perhaps do something similar for anyone else who’s watching me out there. So thank you sincerely to @coffeeandcalligraphy, @sarahkelsiwrites and @shaelinwrites for sharing your process with the world and being such an inspiration to me and many others, I love seeing you all make progress on your own projects <3

So that was all for this round, I hope you guys enjoyed a little sneak peek into what I’ve been working on! Until next time, folks!

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