#you can go ahead and not have a first aid kit because i will not miss you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wooahaes · 1 year

Text

when i grow up

pairing: non-idol!seungkwan x gn!reader

genre: mostly fluff. childhood friends to lovers. very minor angst.

word count: 12.3k~

warnings: a minor fight between seungkwan + reader over reader’s shitty boyfriend (stated to not be mindful of their boundaries + just a shitty dude). some mentions of injuries. mentions of seungkwan being taunted as a tiny kid. food mentions. ask to tag! also minor proofreading tbh

daisy’s notes: fun fact this was going to end in a wedding originally! maybe i’ll write a short sequel at some point, but im happy with this as it is.

Boo Seungkwan, age four, was... Maybe a little bit of a crybaby.

At least, that was what the other kids called him--or they used to, until his mom came into the school to talk to his teacher with a tight-lipped anger at the way her son was being treated. Sometimes the other kids would taunt him for being so soft, for crying easily on his first day of school because he missed his mom. He was social enough nowadays, getting along with pretty much everyone else with ease. Sure, there was a tiny group who would still poke fun at him on the playground when he was a little too misty-eyed, but for the most part he was left alone. Still... It was mean, and Seungkwan couldn’t exactly understand where all of that came from.

Boo Seungkwan, age four, also knew you. You lived up the street from him, you were in his class, and you had a matching lunchbox and backpack set: dark blue with brightly colored dinosaurs covering the thing. Your backpack also had this little Totoro plush that hung from it, because he always was a little jealous because he wanted one, too. He knew you because he knew your laugh from across the room, always a little awkwardly loud, but he wanted to know what you were laughing at. He knew your drawings, always so colorful as could be when you proudly showed them off. He knew you and the way you skip home ahead of him some days, and he knew the way you could still be quiet at school (save for your laugh), but that you’d always yell happily when you saw your dad waiting for you... And a little less loudly when it was your step-mom, but only because she would gently shush you and remind you to be mindful of your neighbors. Then she would pull you into her arms and ask about your day at school. Seungkwan only knew because your house was before his, so he would always hear her talk to you as she slowly walked up the path to your home, hand holding yours.

(You’d always shyly wave at him, too, when he stopped for a moment to look at you, because Boo-Seungkwan-age-four already felt a sense of fondness toward you.)

So when he tripped on his way home one day, skinning his knee, he was surprised. Not that you were there at all, but... The fact you stopped, turning back to him with this curious look on your face before coming back to him.

“Are you okay?”

He was crying again, sobbing even. Crybaby rang in his head as he furiously shook his head, trying to come up with the words to say. To tell you no, that he was okay, but to still ask for his mom because she would make everything better...

You just stood before him, head tilting before looking down to where he was clutching his knee. And then you gasped, setting your lunchbox down next to him before pulling your dark blue dino backpack off of your back. “It’s okay! I can help!” You were beaming brightly, “Mama is a doctor!”

He thought that meant you would go get her, especially because your house was closer. Instead, you unzipped the little front compartment of your backpack, pulling out this tiny makeshift first aid kit that your step-mom must have put together. You kneeled down, opening it with this serious look on your face as you tried to remember the basic steps you had insisted on your step-mom teaching you, always so independent.

(Truly, there were only three: wet wipe to clean it, bandage to protect it until an adult could look at it properly, and a kiss to make it all better.)

So Seungkwan, now sitting off to the side with you, watched as you very carefully opened this little packet. “It hurts a little,” you said, opening up the wipe. You held out your other hand, “but holding mama’s hand helps me.”

Face still wet from his tears, Seungkwan roughly wiped at his cheeks with one sleeve before taking your hand. He held it tightly as you carefully wiped his knee. It stung, but holding your hand... helped, in a weird way.

With everything carefully cleaned, Seungkwan could finally see how tiny the gash really was. He almost felt embarrassed for being such a crybaby over it, but you didn’t call him that. You let go of his hand, looking deadly serious as you examined his knee further before turning to your tiny first aid kit. “Do you want the dinosaurs or the bears?”

Seungkwan just stared at you, completely confused.

“Hurry!” You said. “Dinos or bears?!”

He mumbled that he wanted the bears, whatever that meant, but he could see the disappointment in your eyes. “But the dinos are okay, too..”

Only for you to smile a moment later, giggling. “It’s okay,” you said, putting down one of two bandages into the box. “I like bears, too.”

Immediately, that set you off rambling about how your dad bought you this HUGE teddy bear for your room after you moved here to be with your step-mom. It was bigger than YOU which meant it was REALLY BIG and you loved it to death. Your tiny hands were careful in smoothing the teddy bear bandage over his knee, and then he watched as you leaned forward to plant a tiny kiss against it.

You turned back to him with a serious expression, “You HAVE to kiss it, or it won’t get better.”

Seungkwan wasn’t sure if that was true (his parents kissed his boo-boos better, sure, but maybe it was true since you sounded so confident in it), but all he knew was that he wasn’t crying anymore.

With his knee taken care of, you put away the kit into your bag and stood up. You held out your hand, and helped him up, not letting go. Despite the way you struggled with the first part of his name (which wasn’t a first for him--he noticed that a few other kids struggled with it a little), you proudly called him Kwannie and said you would walk him home. He wiped his face again with his sweater sleeve, and let you happily lead the way, talking about your favorite dinosaurs from the big book that your dad bought for you. And he felt happy when you looked at your dad, waiting for you to come home, that you needed to walk Seungkwan to his mom because he got hurt.

Your dad had kind-of laughed before he ruffled your hair, saying he’d be right there waiting for you. Seungkwan almost pouted and told you that he would be okay, but you turned back to him with shimmering eyes, still holding his tiny hand in your own.

Upon coming to his mom and introducing himself, you had turned serious again. “Kwannie got hurt on the way home,” you said, pointing at his knee, “but I helped. Please make sure he takes care of it because--” A pause to breathe, “--because he’s my friend now and I don’t want him to get hurt anymore.”

(Seungkwan, later in life, looked back on that moment happily. His mom still recounted the story with a laugh, so full of love for the tiny child who acted as if they knew how to treat a patient, yet still so polite with her. She’d always cite that as the moment she knew the two of you would be friends.)

Seungkwan, with one hand holding his mom’s, waved at you as you promised to sit with him tomorrow at school before turning tail and running back to your dad. He watched as your dad scooped you up into his arms, carrying you back inside your home as you happily shrieked.

Seungkwan, at age four, lacked the words to know for sure that he loved you. He didn’t know what it fully meant, or how deep his feelings for you would go, but he knew the happy feeling you gave him was the same happiness he felt when he was with his family or his other friends.

Love is happiness, Seungkwan, age four, decided. Love makes you feel happy.

Seungkwan, age eight, was old enough to walk to your house entirely on his own. So were you, which was why Seungkwan was waiting outside his home, head resting in his hands,sitting on his front porch. While his mom would have him do his homework before dinner (his dad liked to sit with him and help him), your dad would always have you do part of it as soon as you came home. He didn’t fully get it, to be honest, but you said something about how your dad liked helping you for part of it, while your step-mom would sit with you for the rest. You always claimed that you didn’t really need it, but Seungkwan wasn’t sure whether to believe you or not. After all, his parents were happy to help him when he needed it. There was nothing wrong with needing help.

But today was Friday, and Friday meant you got to have a sleepover at Seungkwan’s house. He spent all day figuring out how to make the best blanket fort and his parents promised pancakes tomorrow morning. He was giddy with excitement, growing more and more impatient as he waited for you. The new episode of your favorite show came on tonight, too, and he wanted to watch it with you instead of just talking to you about it on Monday or whenever you came over to play next. Plus! His parents said they might take both of you to the pool tomorrow! It was because his sisters wanted to go, but he was okay with that. It still meant that he would get to go swimming with you because it’s unbelievably hot outside.

The only reason he was waiting outside today was because both of his sisters teased him, and he was still mad about it. They said something about how he liked you, and Seungkwan couldn’t fathom what else they meant by it. Of course he liked you! You were his friend--his best friend. But they had laughed at him (strike number one), only to say it was obvious (strike number two) that Seungkwan like liked you (strike number three). Which was gross because you were his best friend! Like-liking you meant he wanted to do things like holding hands with you, which he already did because you were best friends, and... He wasn’t sure. Kissing? Yuck.

But Seungkwan saw you coming down the sidewalk, holding onto the straps of your backpack proudly, and all of that anger melted away like ice cream on the sidewalk. Ooh. That’s an idea... Maybe he’ll ask his mom for ice cream later. He was sure if he stood up that he would be able to see your dad watching you from down the street, making sure you got there safely. But he was too excited. He hopped up, rushing over to you and taking your hand, complaining about how he was about to die of boredom while waiting for you. You merely giggled, letting him drag you into his house. He called out to his mom that you were there, and she barely had the chance to warmly greet you before Seungkwan was already dragging you upstairs to see his cool new lamp that his parents bought him. Plus all of his toys were upstairs--the teddy bears and the action figures and the instruments and everything else--so where else would the two of you go? Outside again? It was too hot for that.

Seungkwan pointed at the large lamp sitting on his dresser. “I’ll show you it later. It’s better when it’s dark.”

You’d accepted his reasoning at face value, trusting him completely before turning your attention to the instruments in his room. His mom had bought him this little toy keyboard for his birthday that year, and you had pushed him to sing because you always loved hearing him sing. It devolved into more noise than music, but the two of you were happy.

Until his sisters told you both to keep it down because they had homework (gross--Seungkwan didn’t want to have that much homework ever). Which meant the two of you decided to brave the heat for the next few hours, because Seungkwan had pouted and said that the two of you would just go somewhere else. There was plenty to do outside anyway, and the two of you could come back in whenever you wanted. His mom called you back in eventually, asking for the two of you to help her and Seungkwan’s dad with making dinner. It was a subtle way to redirect you and Seungkwan’s endless energy somewhere else, but you were always happy to be helping.

Time always seemed to fly faster when Seungkwan was with you. After dinner, the two of you were sitting together to watch the new episode of your show together, his parents sitting in for a little longer. Eventually it was time for your blanket fort, which meant Seungkwan’s dad would help the two of you get everything set up before he and Seungkwan’s mom retired for the night. She had gone around to make sure all the doors were locked, and had gently pulled you aside to remind you where their room was (right down the hall) and that you or Seungkwan could come get them for anything if they needed it.

The last time the two of you had a sleepover, you had grown scared in the middle of the night and ended up going home when you were inconsolable. Seungkwan had felt bad watching your step-mom walk you home, but his mom was reassuring: some people simply got nervous when they were away from their parents for too long. It wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t yours. Everyone was different. But this time you told her you were determined to stay the full night. Seungkwan wanted you to, as well, but he wouldn’t be mean or anything if you couldn’t.

With a movie coming to an end a little while later, Seungkwan perked up. “Oh!” He climbed out from underneath your blanket fort, bouncing with excitement for a moment, “Wait here!”

Seungkwan rushed up to his room, carefully pulling the lamp from its place. He came back downstairs, making sure to take slower steps than before in order to keep from dropping it. It was this battery operated lamp with a remote and a built-in timer, so the two of you could leave it on for a while since it’d go off by itself. He set it down in front of you, walking away to turn off all of the lamps and to draw the curtains shut even tighter. He came back to you, the only light in the room being from the television screen with its rolling credits, and sat down. He clicked it on a few times, and then the room was lit up with little stars everywhere.

You went wide-eyed and gasped, filled with pure excitement with the sight (and Seungkwan found himself smiling, overjoyed that he had made you happy). “It’s beautiful...”

This is love, too, Seungkwan thought to himself. Love was more than just feeling happiness around someone. It was sharing it, too. His face was illuminated by the lamp’s stars, and so was yours as the lights slowly rotated around the room. Love is sharing happiness.

Somehow, in all the shuffle, Seungkwan looked up and noticed that your favorite bear (the one he gave you, he proudly thought) was stuck underneath the coffee table. It must have been pushed over there while the two of you were having snacks, since you’d carefully cleared the area.

“Your bear...” He pointed out, hugging the dinosaur you’d given him for his fifth birthday close to his chest.

“Oh!” You crawled over, stretching out your arm to grab it and pull it close to you.

Only to pop up too quickly, bumping the top of your head on the bottom of the table, having slightly underestimated how much space you needed to safely get back. You gasped in pain, crawling back out fully and turning back to him with teary eyes.

“It’s okay!” He said quickly, gently talking to you to help calm you back down. The same way his mom would talk to him when he did the same. The same way you did, too, four years ago. He looked, fingers threading through your hair as he tried to see if there was a bruise--thankful he found none. He leaned forward, gently kissing the top of your head before he sat back down in front of you.

“It helps, right?” He said, recalling your very professional advice from all the time ago. Although maybe Seungkwan was starting to realize that it wasn’t magic...

But you just stared at him for a moment, before you burst into giggles. He puffed his cheeks out in response, a little miffed that you were laughing at him.

Only to regret it a second later. “I’m glad you’re my best friend, Kwannie,” you said. Another second later and you gasped, reaching over for your backpack. “I drew a picture for us!”

“For us...?” He watched curiously as you rooted around in your backpack, shoving things aside before you pulled out a folded-up piece of paper.

You nodded, slowly opening it up and smoothing it out. “Adults live together, right?”

You had drawn a nice little house with a rainbow above it. The two of you, clearly labeled just in case someone didn’t get it, stood in the middle in front of it, with drawn-on smiles as you held hands. Around you were smaller figures that Seungkwan figured out based on the number of people had to be both your family and his. There was also this little thing on the ground that looked kind-of like a cat... or maybe it was a dog. He couldn’t figure out which.

“So when we get bigger,” you continued, “we’ll all live together in one biiig house.” Your eyes were twinkling, far prettier than the ones from his cool lamp. “And we’ll get a pet. I started to draw a kitty, but then I remembered that you like dogs, so...”

He took the paper from you to study closer. “We can have both,” he said, studying it closely. He could see where the triangle ears had been made into more puppy-like ones. “And they’ll be best friends...” And then he sniffled, emotions already betraying him as he was overwhelmed with this pure joy for you.

Boo Seungkwan, age eight, thought that he loved you almost as much as he loved his family. You were his best friend, and he knew this at that moment.

This is what love is, right? Sharing happiness. At least, that was what he thought it was as he later fell asleep next to you, his pastel blue dinosaur tucked into his arms while the projector covered both of you and the room around you with stars. Your picture was tucked away nearby, and Seungkwan dreamed that night of a rainbow over a big house where all of the people he loved most were all together.

Seungkwan, age twelve, finally started to feel like an adult. That was why he liked to walk to your house after his after-school study sessions: because he didn’t get to see you anymore. His parents enrolled him in a boys school, which you continued on to attend a co-ed school in the area. He’d been a little bitter about it to begin with, but he was old enough to know that he could see you pretty much whenever he wanted to. He had a flip phone, he could call you whenever he wanted (except he had to be mindful of how many minutes he had, so he’d just call you on his home phone instead) to ask if he could come over. So coming over to your house was how Seungkwan chose to see you when everything else was over. He played basketball, too, so it kind-of meant it ate into his time with you... but he still made friends that way.

(But he still would proudly say that you were his best friend, which meant he liked you the most.)

The two of you did homework together most days. You would get home before he did from your soccer practice (although you always said whether you were any good at it was up to debate; but Seungkwan said he would be the loudest person in the stands for you at any and every game he could make), so he would just go straight to your house. He knocked, you would let him in, and the two of you would spread out your homework at your dining table and talk about whatever while you worked.

“There’s this new guy in my class...”

Seungkwan felt his heart sink a little. “Huh?”

“I dunno...” You were smiling a little, balancing your pen between your fingers. “He’s cute.”

But I’m cuter, right? Seungkwan pushed back on that thought hard. No need to play the jealous best friend. “And?”

“And what?”

“Is he just cute?”

You had hummed for a moment, thinking over the question. “I don’t know... He answered a question for me when I was struggling with it. And then, I dunno... He just kinda smiled at me.”

Seungkwan had never hated the fact he didn’t go to school with you more than he did now. “Does he go to your games?”

You looked up with this knowing smile, reading him so easily. With a teasing glimmer in your eyes, you rested your head in one hand, “Oh... Kwannie, are you jealous?”

“No!” He huffed, pouting at your words. “I just... He...” He didn’t know what to say. He was a little jealous. He missed being around you so much.

Instead of pushing him further, you just laughed. “It’s okay,” you said, foot bumping against his calf. “No one’s going to replace you. You’re still my favorite person.”

Until you find someone else, a tiny voice in the back of his head told him. He just kind of frowned, going quiet.

And then you frowned, too. “Seungkwan...”

“It’s fine,” he said. “I’m not jealous you have other friends.” Not other guy friends that you call cute, but... “I just miss being around you.”

“I know, but... I don’t like him more than I like you,” you said. “You’re always going to be my number one favorite person...” You kind-of smiled, “Just like how I’m your number two favorite.”

He looked up, brows drawing together. “Two...?”

“Isn’t your mom number one?”

He nodded. Right, but... “If we’re just talking about friends,” he shifted in his chair a little, “then you’re my number one favorite, too.”

The statement earned a shy smile from you in response, immediately making you change the subject back to the math homework that the two of you were supposed to be working on. Seungkwan liked that cute smile, though, even if he had to turn away from it to look at math. He liked doing homework with you, too. You’d help him with his English homework, he’d help you with history...

It worked. The two of you just fit together.

A few hours later, his mom called him on that little flip phone (Seungkwan still wanted one with a screen, but his parents said maybe when he was older--he didn’t need a distraction. But he could barely even text you or any of his friends on it. At least you had one of those phones with the slider keyboard thing) to come back home, and he groaned after he hung up the call. He wasn’t done talking to you, but you just reminded him that you could call him on the home phone after his parents have gone to bed. He promised he would just use his cell phone--he had the minutes, he just preferred saving them--and then reminded you of his upcoming basketball game. You already promised to be there with a poster for him with whatever he wanted on it.

Seungkwan walked home slowly, savoring a few minutes of alone time before he came back in. He set his bag down on the couch with the plan to move it later, already hearing his mom greet him and immediately give him instructions. There was already a cutting board and a knife waiting for him with a few vegetables sitting atop it. So he washed his hands, and then got to work with helping her as she rattled off dinner plans casually.

At one point, he stopped, conflicted in his feelings. He thought he knew, but... “Mom?” She hummed in acknowledgement, a sign for him to continue. “What is love like?”

His mom stopped what she was doing, turning to him with a certain tenderness in her eyes as she watched him for a moment. His sisters had boyfriends before (although that, in Seungkwan’s mind, was always different because it was gross to see them hold hands or kiss because ew, gross, he doesn’t want to see them do that). He’d seen his parents love each other, too, throughout his life in the quiet way that parents seemed to: carrying burdens together, helping one another with the hard things of being an adult... Yet it seemed his mother had just realized how big he’d grown. When did he get this old to start asking such big questions like that?

“Love is...” She paused, clearly thinking her words over carefully. “Love is hard to define.”

Seungkwan pouted. That didn’t help.

She could see that, and in response smiled to herself with this light chuckle. “Love is a lot of things, Seungkwan. Love can be when you see someone and feel a need to care deeply for them--as much as you care about yourself.”

“And?”

His mom continued with preparing dinner, gesturing quickly for Seungkwan to keep working as well. “You want the best for them. Sometimes it means putting aside your own feelings in order to help them.”

“And?”

His mom looked up again, setting down her own knife. “Seungkwan... You’ll know it when you feel it.”

Love is a feeling. Seungkwan could accept that one a little more, as obscure as it sounded.

And he knew that night as he started to drift off while talking to you on the phone that the warm feeling in his chest, curled up there like a kitten finding its home, was love.

Seungkwan, age fifteen, was your high school classmate again. Gone were the awkward middle school years.. Except the stupid bouts of jealousy whenever you talked to him about boys that you thought were cute. He was your best friend, you were allowed to like other people, but the feelings he harbored for you felt complicated and he always pouted over it later when he was alone. This wasn’t fair to you. Why couldn’t his feelings just be fair?

Except this time was worse. This time one of those guys asked you out. Not that Seungkwan would have stopped him: he didn’t think you liked him the same way he liked you. His mom told him that love meant sometimes putting someone else’s feelings above your own. That was why he was lying on your bed, waiting for you to come back upstairs with your snacks, listening to the CD that the two of you made together. You had begged for him to come help you figure out what to wear on your date with some guy who used to play soccer with you (it was some whole friend thing in the park, not officially as a team). Seungkwan, as much as it killed him, was happy to help you. That was what friends were for, right? You’d do the same for him.

He could hear the sound of your footsteps approaching and perked up, watching as you pushed your bedroom door open with your shoulder. “Okay. So...”

You made your way over, passing him a bottle of water before carefully setting down the two bowls of snacks you’d scrounged up. You then walked over to the MP3 player speakers, turning them down to avoid a distraction. Seungkwan just waited as you opened up your closet doors, lips pressing together thoughtfully.

“His dad is going to drop us off at an amusement park,” you started sifting through clothes, “and then I think we’re going to see a movie afterward, too.”

(Seungkwan, although he was very good at hiding it, started to stew a little in his own feelings. A movie? What if Yuchan kissed you? Then he’ll die because what if you and Yuchan were perfect together and you forgot all about Seungkwan?)

“So... I was thinking... Maybe something comfortable?”

“Like jeans?”

You glanced back at him over your shoulder before shrugging. “I dunno. I looked it up and there aren’t any water rides, but what if it’s too hot for jeans?”

“Then wear shorts,” Seungkwan almost wanted to roll his eyes, instead opting to busy himself with grabbing the bowl of chips. “I’ll check the weather.”

While you continued to fret over things, Seungkwan pulled up the weather on his phone to check. It didn’t seem like it’d be too hot, so jeans (or whatever pants you wanted) seemed like a fine option to him. But then you turned to him, clutching a pretty yellow and black striped shirt, and frowned.

“Seungkwan, what if he wants to kiss me?”

His heart skipped a beat at the question, and Seungkwan hoped that he looked nonchalant as he glanced at you before shoving a chip into his mouth. “If you want to kiss him, then kiss him.” Please sound normal. Please don’t give me away--

“But what if I’m bad at it? I’ve never kissed anyone before...”

Seungkwan looked up, tucking his phone back into his pocket. He could see the gears turning in your head. In the same moment he said “No,” you were already speaking up with a “Seungkwan, can you kiss me?”

His word sank in, and you pouted. “Why not? You’re my best friend. It won’t be weird if it’s you.”

Seungkwan felt the blood rushing to his face. “Because it’d be my first kiss, too.”

“So you don’t want me to be your first kiss, either?” You huffed, “Well, what if you’re bad at it?”

He opened his mouth to counter you, only to stop as the words escaped him. Seungkwan, age fifteen, thought you had a point. But Seungkwan, age fifteen, did not want to concede so easily. “So you think I’ll be bad at it?”

You let out a loud groan, head falling back. “If we’re each other’s first kiss, then it won’t be a big deal when we do it for real. If you really don’t want to kiss me, I’ll shut up, but I trust you more than--”

Seungkwan sighed, setting aside the snacks as he hopped up. He came over to you, only to realize he came... far too close. Closer than he meant to, but you still shut up and stared at him. “Just... Lean in and do it, right?”

That was what they did on TV. In movies. In books.

A moment later, you nodded. “Are you sure?”

And then Seungkwan nodded, confidence dwindling by the second. “I’m sure. Are you...?”

He was. If he sucked, then you’d tell him. He trusted you, too, after all. Seungkwan leaned in tentatively, uncertain in his movements... only for his forehead to smack straight into your own. The two of you immediately leaned back with a wince, your hand flying to your forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut. Years ago, you would have laughed at him and kissed his forehead to make it better. Now you would always just get embarrassed whenever he brought it up, reminding him that you were four and that he did it, too, before learning that kisses weren’t a valid form of medicine.

Surprisingly, though, he did hear you laugh a moment later. “Just... stay still, then,” you said.

He opened his eyes, and you reached up, gently holding his face in place before angling your own.

And then you kissed him. Seungkwan, age fifteen, did not want these few seconds to end. It was awkward, and your nose bumped against his when you went in for the kiss, but you didn’t shy away like he did when your foreheads smacked. Your lips were softer than he thought they’d be (and he was overthinking, positive that his were chapped because he lost his lip balm weeks ago and kept forgetting to get a new stick). But he kissed you back, uncertain in the motion, just to do it. To say that he kissed you, too. That it wasn’t one sided.

A few seconds later, and it was over. Neither of you knew what to say. He backed off, heart racing in his ears as he watched you.

“His favorite color is yellow,” you said after a moment, holding up the shirt you’d thrown onto your bed at some point. “So I thought--”

“Yellow suits you,” he said, hoping that you wouldn’t notice the hopelessly fond look on his face. He stepped back again, sitting back down on your bed. “Pair it with the black jeans. Don’t take a jacket. If you get cold, he should give it to you.”

“But what if he’s not wearing one?”

A fair point, but... “He will,” Seungkwan said. If he’s serious about wooing you, he’ll wear one just so he can give it to you.

Seungkwan, at that moment, thought that he loved you. And he loved you enough that he would let you go happily, your happiness becoming most important to him. Even if that decision choked him up, he would do it to see that happy smile on your face any day.

(You called him when you got home the night-of, saying that Yuchan did give you his jacket and that he almost kissed you when he walked you to your door. Seungkwan merely said he was happy for you, ignoring the ache in his chest as he curled up tight in his bed.)

Love, Seungkwan decided, was complicated.

Seungkwan, age nineteen, felt... complicated about a lot now.

You ended up dating Yuchan for two years, only for things to change as life became more hectic. School got harder, Yuchan became more dedicated to soccer and getting a scholarship with it, you busied yourself with trying to get into a good school. So was Seungkwan, actually. Weirdly enough, he didn’t realize how intertwined that process would be for the two of you. He wanted to do something with law school in the future (there was a reason he was on the debate team and good at it, and it was only partially because of his stubbornness), and you were either going pre-med for a career in nursing or maybe paleontology instead. You hadn’t decided yet, but as long as the school had a strong STEM program, you would be happy.

(Seungkwan joked that he should have known: those were two of your interests when you met. Dinosaurs and patching up your best friend who had his clumsy moments same as anyone else.)

And so the two of you ended up in the same school by happenstance. Seungkwan was one of the youngest in his year (the fact that you were a little older than him was always something you used to tease him), and on move-in day he was staring at his roommate, one Kim Mingyu. He was pretty damn chatty, which was okay, and he usually invited over the other two guys who live in their same suite. Seokmin was pretty nice, too, and he usually kept Seungkwan in conversations whenever he started to feel a little out of place. Minghao, a foreign student who came to study here because of the solid journalism program, was quieter--but that wasn’t a problem in the slightest.

What WAS a problem was the way you told Seungkwan that you had someone you wanted to introduce him to a few months into the school year. And when you showed up to the coffee shop the two of you had found within the first week, you were holding the hand of this stupidly hot dude who looked like a dick because he had his headphones hanging around his neck and wearing a beanie when it was definitely not cold enough for a beanie.

(Seungkwan, truthfully, was looking for reasons to hate him. But then you smiled at the guy after the two of you ordered, squeezed his hand, and guided him over to where Seungkwan was sitting, and he felt... guilty for doing so. Stupid hot boyfriend who makes you happy...)

“This is my best friend, Seungkwan,” you said to him, and Seungkwan took pride in the fact you introduced him first. “Seungkwan,” you smiled at him brightly, “this is Vernon! He’s technically an early graduate--something about his homeschooling program, he can tell you the details--but he’s in our year.”

Vernon gave him a polite smile and “sup,” before going on to say that he’d heard a lot about Seungkwan, actually. Another little thing for Seungkwan to take pride in. “They were telling me about how the two of you go way back. That’s actually why we haven’t met until now.”

Seungkwan looked at you in confusion. He knew that you’d started seeing someone a few weeks ago, but... You purposefully didn’t tell him who? Or anything about the guy?

“You’ve known me since we were four,” you said with a pout. “You would have told him so many stories about me. You did the same thing with that girl in high school!”

He did... For the exact same reason. While you did know the girl already, you had agreed to stay back until Seungkwan was ready to formally introduce you to her. That relationship didn’t last long to be fair, but he was terrified of all the blackmail you had over him. You, like him, had pictures, too.

“Plus... I dunno, I wanted to figure out where we stood,” you looked at Vernon with this soft smile on your face. Seungkwan thought he could see the love in your eyes, too.

Seungkwan cleared his throat. “I’m still going to tell him stories. He should know these things about you,” he said, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “like your emo phase in middle school--”

Immediately, you whined. “Nooo! I know you have pictures!”

“And I’ll use them.”

Vernon, to Seungkwan’s surprise because of the cool-guy aura he seemed to carry, actually chuckled in response. “I think we’ve all got embarrassing stuff. It’s fine,” he said, and then spoke quieter to you, “It’s cute.”

And that ended up shutting you up with this really cute smile that Seungkwan had always found cute. “Anyway...” You turned back to Seungkwan with this look of concern for a moment. Yet the second you went to open your mouth, your name ended up being called out by the barista, leading you to quickly excuse yourself.

Seungkwan knew you’d take a few minutes to get your coffee to where you liked it. So he turned to Vernon right as the guy was about to strike up polite conversation, “I’m still their best friend, just so you know.”

Immediately, Vernon gave him this weird look, brows drawing together. “Sorry... What?”

“Just because we haven’t met until now doesn’t mean they like you more than me,” he said, crossing his arms. I come first, he wanted to say. I’ve known them since we were four. Remember that.

“Woah, dude, I didn’t say anything--” He paused for a moment, glancing over to where you were fiddling with sugar packets. “They’re cute. They’ve been talking about you a lot lately. If you’re upset they didn’t introduce me sooner, it’s just because they were worried you're gonna hate me.”

... You cared about his opinion that much? Seungkwan mentally smacked himself--of course you did. The two of you valued each other like that. “Oh.”

“Nah, man, I’m not gonna step on your friendship or anything,” Vernon leaned back in his chair. “I know you two are close. But they’re still my date, though....” Vernon was... way chiller than Seungkwan thought he’d be. He was sure most guys would have been offended. “But if you wanna be friends, I’m down. You seem cool. They said you sing?”

Seungkwan’s face was burning from embarrassment now, especially for trying to be petty and establish some stupid sense of dominance over him. “Yeah,” he said, feeling so small now. “I love singing.”

Vernon smiled a little, nodding along, “I’ve got a friend who’s been trying to get me to go to karaoke. Maybe all four of us could go sometime?”

... Admittedly, it was almost cute how Vernon just kind-of configured you into these plans. Probably because he knew that you, too, loved karaoke. You and Seungkwan had spent way too many hours growing up lying about doing homework when you were actually at a noraebang.

“I’d like that, actually.”

When you finally came back, it was to Vernon bringing up movies that he loved and Seungkwan engaging him in that conversation happily. And he could see the way you smiled at the way they were getting along. He got along with Yuchan just fine: so he could get along with Vernon, too. Besides... Vernon actually seemed pretty cool. Maybe in another life, they would already be best friends.

Seungkwan parted ways from the two of you as you said you’d be walking Vernon back to his dorm (meaning that you’d likely call Seungkwan later to talk), and he found himself hurrying back to his own. Mingyu was sitting at his desk, studying his notes from class with earbuds in, giving Seungkwan a welcome reprieve from being social for a few minutes. He found his own homework, breaking into a history textbook to start working there for the next few hours.

Later that night, you had called him while he was studying. Seungkwan could see you standing outside when he picked up, watching the way you happily waved one arm wildly at him to get him to come down. So he pocketed his keys, slipped into his shoes, and called back to Mingyu that he’d be back in a few minutes. He expected you to maybe tease him over the stupid shit he pulled with Vernon (he felt like Vernon would have let it slip, even though he didn’t seem offended), but instead you hugged him tight.

“I hope you know I love you a lot,” you said, “and I’ve wanted you to meet him since we started dating, but...”

Those bitter feelings slipped through Seungkwan’s fingers, melting away as he hugged you back. “You were scared he’d find something to dislike about you,” he sighed. “It’s okay. I like him.”

You stepped back, smiling brightly. “Really?”

“He’s nice. He obviously likes you,” he said with a shrug. “So he passes my test. But if he ever hurts you, I’ll fight him.”

You knew he would. It wasn’t the first time Seungkwan had said it, after all. “Just don’t steal him from me, Kwannie,” you patted him on the chest. “I almost thought I was your third wheel for a minute, y’know.”

... So maybe Seungkwan did get along great with Vernon. More than he really liked to admit. Fuck, Vernon was kind of perfect, wasn’t he? He was respectful toward him even after he tried to be all “myeh myeh I’m their best friend so you come second” like a child, and he fully understood that both of them were important people in your life...

“Thank you for not embarrassing me, y’know,” you said. “I mean, you still have videos from the time we tried to go rollerskating...”

(To be fair: so did you. Both of you quit because you were bad at it and got tired of falling, and spent the rest of your time in the arcade portion instead, being bad at games together.)

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Seungkwan said. “Not this soon, at least. Maybe if he sticks around...”

It earned a laugh from you. That was how your relationship with Yuchan had been, too: there was a point where neither of you thought the embarrassing stuff would mess with your relationship too much. “I know,” you said. “I guess I just got in my own head. I really like him, y’know?”

He could tell. You looked at him the way Seungkwan was sure he looked at you--even though you never noticed. He bantered with you a little more, saying that Vernon would regret inviting both of you to karaoke when those plans came around, and made his way back inside. With a sigh, he flopped onto his bed, the noise enough to drag Mingyu out of his studies.

He chuckled. “I think it’s a little obvious how you feel.”

Seungkwan grasped, immediately reaching for the nearest soft thing to lob at him. And... It was that pastel blue dino plushie that he’d had since he was five. He used to hide it until Mingyu found it by accident while Seungkwan had been gathering his laundry. When he said it was a gift from you, Mingyu understood and said it was sweet how he held onto it so long. Which meant that Seungkwan would sometimes leave that dino plushie out when the others weren’t around. It comforted him to see it whenever he was getting stressed. Other times, the little guy lived in the top of his closet for safekeeping. Hell, Seungkwan had accidentally ripped the little guy’s leg and Mingyu had been the one who patched it up.

At no response from Seungkwan, Mingyu finally turned around, only to see Seungkwan staring at the dino plushie in his hands. “Why don’t you just tell them how you feel?”

“They’re dating some guy named Vernon now.” He ran his thumb along the stitching on the side. “I don’t think they love me back.”

Mingyu frowned, looking up to the clock on the wall, and then back to Seungkwan. “It’s not too late. Let’s go out,” he hopped up, shutting his books. “I’ll see if Seokmin and Hao are free, too.”

Seungkwan could feel that familiar ache in his chest--the same one he felt when you called him, giddy about your date with Yuchan--but softer than it had been before. You were happy. What more could he want?

This, too, was love. As long as you were happy, he could move on.

(And maybe he’ll like the girl Mingyu later offered to set him up with, swearing that he’d love her...)

Seungkwan was twenty-two when he had another major fight with you.

The first time the two of you fought, you’d been kids. He barely remembered what it was about, but it resulted in him not talking to you for a week (which was like a thousand years in little-kid time) until you finally showed up to his door. You sobbed and said you missed him so bad, and apologized a thousand times until he started crying because he missed you, too. The second time had been in middle school over something stupid and immature, and he remembered that the two of you fought bad enough that you stormed off until he bribed you to talk to him again via ice cream and a serious conversation (thank you to his mom, actually: she was the one who talked sense into him first). The third was in high school because you had hated his girlfriend at the time. He hadn’t let you speak, and told you to get out of his house, only to come back together again later that night--halfway between your houses. The two of you apologized to one another: him because he heard from a few hours later that you had fought with his girlfriend in the halls for talking horribly about him behind his back, and you because you should have told him the truth right away.

And now... Things were different. The two of you now lived together in a crummy apartment that felt too small for the two of you. You were studying to become a nurse after you graduated, and Seungkwan was following his plans to set himself up for law school. He’d managed to luck out with getting an internship at this law firm in the city before he was even in law school, Yoon & Hong Law Group. The two of you had gone out to celebrate with Vernon and Chan back when he got the call. When he went in for his first day, Jeonghan had told him it was because of his application that they let him in. They liked his drive, and they remembered being in his position not too long ago. He and Joshua weren’t the original Yoon and Hong (that was his dad and Joshua’s mom, who still headed the firm), but they’d take over the firm one day and they hoped that Seungkwan would still be part of that future. Where Seungkwan had been accepted, you were still waiting on replies from nursing schools.

While you and Vernon had only dated for about a year before that spark fizzled away (which was something Seungkwan couldn’t wrap his head around: how did it take a year for that to happen? Then again, a year stopped feeling so long after you became an adult...), the two of you were still friends. Somewhere along the way, Seungkwan started to consider Vernon as one of his closest friends, too--not number one, because that would always be you, but still pretty damn up there.

He remembered when the two of you broke up. He knew that both of you were talking about things seriously, because you loved each other, just not enough. Vernon had apparently asked if that meant you wanted to break up. You had said you still loved him, he said he still loved you, and then you both had to really examine whether you two loved each other romantically or just as close friends. Although it took a break to cope with your own feelings after mutually agreeing you’d be better off as friends, Seungkwan was glad that the two of you came back together... even if he still remembered the way you broke down crying when you came home to him that day. You’d sobbed into his shoulder that you still loved him, but you couldn’t love Vernon the way he deserved to be loved.

And Seungkwan, ever the dutiful best friend, held you through that storm until it had calmed. Then it was time for him to take care of you: to order dinner and put on movies and forget about your assignments together for a few hours. He’d even gone out to get the dessert you liked, only splitting it evenly with you when you firmly insisted. You’d rested your head on his shoulder and told him that the feeling sucked. He understood. He just let you cuddle him as much as you needed to.

Vernon later called him to ask how you were doing. When Seungkwan, having stepped onto the balcony to take the call, looked back at your sleeping back, he felt relieved. Vernon had been honest with him: the two of you needed time to get over the breakup. Seungkwan confessed he didn’t want to lose either of you as friends, and neither did Vernon. Neither did you. A few months later, things were getting back to normal again. You and Vernon had physically been close, but that was because you were always like Seungkwan: physically affectionate with any and every person you cared about. It was a little awkward in the beginning, sure, but Vernon happily returned your hugs soon enough and everything became normal.

Seungkwan, on the other hand, had also dated a few people. The girl that Mingyu set him up with didn’t last long. The others... were also short-lived relationships. The longest one he had over the past few years lasted almost half a year, but he’d ended it after having enough of feeling like garbage. It hadn't been toxic or abusive, but the initially playful jabs at his chubby cheeks or his body toward the end of the relationship had been enough for him. He valued himself too highly to put up with that bullshit.

Also, you’d been getting pissed: the last time they said that shit to him, you finally snapped (admittedly while drunk) that your Boo was cute and his ass was great and that they could fuck off if they weren’t going to appreciate him for who he was. They had gotten offended, and Seungkwan gladly chose you over them... even if the comment about his ass finally hit him hours later after he’d helped you to bed, and it stuck with him to this day

To be honest, Seungkwan thought his feelings for you would have gone away by now. The two of you had known each other for almost two decades. He knew he’d always love you... but like this? Where he looked at you and sometimes daydreamed of what could be if he’d stop playing a coward and told you how he felt? It was different. As much as Seungkwan wanted to tell you, he wasn’t going to jeopardize his friendship for it. Things were good.

... Until he went and opened his stupid fucking mouth and told you that he hated your boyfriend. He said outright that your boyfriend was a shit person who didn’t deserve you. He saw the way he spoke about you, the vulgar way he acted, and the way you’d swatted his hands away too many damn times because you didn’t want to be touched that way in that moment. This last time, Seungkwan had snapped at him for trying to bother you in your own home. You didn’t stand up to either of them, and your boyfriend left the apartment pissed off, which in turn made you pissed at Seungkwan.

“I just don’t see why you can’t be fucking nice to him!” You had snapped, fists balled tight at your sides. “You liked Yuchan,you liked Vernon--what’s so different about Donghae?! Why can’t you just be happy for me?!”

That had struck a nerve. “I am happy for you!” He snapped. “I’ve always been happy for you! But Donghae doesn’t respect you, and I’m not going to stand here when you deserve better!”

“If it bothered me, I’d tell him to stop--”

“You have! I’ve seen you tell him to stop--but he doesn’t respect you, so he doesn’t listen! You shouldn’t date some idiot who doesn’t respect you--”

Things had grown louder from there until you finally had enough. You were pissed off, and you barked back something about needing space before stomping out of the apartment. That had been a little over half an hour ago, and with a messy apron folded beside him, he was sitting on the couch, replaying the conversation over and over. He called Vernon, who came over with Chan, within the next fifteen minutes.

“Ah. Dude, you kinda fucked up,” was what Vernon said once he heard the full story.

“I dunno,” Chan frowned from his spot in the cozy armchair that you had picked out so long ago for the apartment. Most of the time Chan and Seungkwan would bicker over the smallest thing, but it was clear how much he cared about him from how serious he took things like this. “Donghae is an asshole. I’m just surprised he didn’t say it sooner.”

“I’m not saying he shouldn’t have said it, I’m just saying he shouldn’t have said it like that.”

Seungkwan was sitting on the couch. There was a cake, hastily made from a box mix, cooling in the freezer to get it done faster. I’m sorry I wasn’t nicer about your dick boyfriend probably wouldn’t fit on a cake. His phone rang, and it was his mom (the only time he’d ever be disappointed to hear from her, Seungkwan was certain). He excused himself to step out on the balcony, embracing the cold air to clear his head as he picked up. It started with her asking how he was doing, and he ended up crying before confessing he had another big fight with you. The first one in years, since the two of you didn’t fight often. Tiny arguments, sure, but that was different. He hadn’t heard from you in maybe an hour now, and he was worried.

His mom listened to his concerns, and told him what his friends had told him: that his heart was in the right place (especially since Seungkwan told her that he thought you weren’t being treated well), but that he just needed to communicate it better. Calling your boyfriend an asshole to his face was probably the worst way to go about it.

“It’s just complicated,” Seungkwan confessed, wiping hard at his face.

“Love always is,” was what his mom said. “You’ll learn that when you grow up.”

He let out a sigh before pouting. “I’m already grown up...”

His mother’s warm chuckle calmed him further. “You’ll understand that later, too. You should make sure that they’re safe.”

So Seungkwan did: he texted you to ask if you were. You didn’t respond, not that he expected you to reply immediately. You needed time to cool off. He followed up the text to tell you that if he didn’t hear from you within the next two hours, he was going to go out looking, and then pocketed his phone.

He had a cake to ice, after all, even if it might end up looking bad. Vernon and Chan had followed him into the kitchen where he frosted the cooled cake with white icing, mixing up pink and preparing a piping bag.

Chan had been the one to question it: “So... What’s the cake for?”

“Apology cake,” Vernon whispered. “For not saying stuff right. He’s done it once before.”

(It had been over an hour since you were gone. Seungkwan was going to finish this damn cake to distract himself.)

He’d managed to get a decent-ish looking border done, starting on the words when he heard the chime of the door. All he had done was an I’m So when he heard your footsteps, far lighter than the last time he’d heard them.

“Oh. Hey.”

“You good?” Vernon asked.

He could hear the rustle of a plastic bag in your hands. “Mmm... Maybe. I dunno.”

Seungkwan said nothing as he finished Sorry on the cake. That would do for now.

“Seungkwan?” He could hear you growing closer to him. “Um...” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see you look to Vernon and Chan. “God... They probably already know, so I’ll just say it. I’m sorry.”

He looked up. “Huh?”

“I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.” The bag in your hand rustled further in your grip. “I mean... You were right. He was a dick, and... I dunno, I left, and then he called me, and he kept saying all this stupid shit about how you never respected me, and... I just told him I was done.”

Seungkwan stared at you. “You broke up with him?”

“I mean... I probably should have when he stopped listening to me, but--” Then you looked at the cake. “Seungkwan, what are you--”

He stepped aside, letting you see the writing. “I’m sorry I got angry,” he said. “And I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. I think... We both got upset really fast.”

Which was true. Both of you had been stressed lately with everything else going on. That didn’t help with what happened today.

“Oh my god.”

“I know it looks bad--”

You shook your head, opening the bag to pull out a pint of cookies and cream ice cream. “I got you apology ice cream,” you had lightly laughed, only to remember the other two in the room with you. “Ah, fuck--I should have known you would have called them over... I should have bought more--”

“We still have vanilla,” Seungkwan said, “They’ll be fine.”

And despite their playful complaints, both were fine with that when you brought out the carton from the freezer. The four of you had your cake and your ice cream as a nice little indulgence after a stressful night. Seungkwan sent them off with the extra cake because neither of you wanted it. He quietly cleaned up, bringing the other dishes over to where you’d started to quietly clean them in the sink.

“I really mean it,” Seungkwan said. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I’m sorry.”

You frowned at him. “Seungkwan...” You reached past him, grabbing the dish towel to dry your hands on. Then you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him tight. “I know. We’re better friends than this, though... I shouldn’t have assumed you were being a dick when you’ve always been looking out for me. I mean... You care about me more than a lot of people, y’know?”

“You do the same,” he said, hugging you back. He always liked the way you felt so warm in his arms. Like everything would be okay if he just had you there. “I know I’m loved... But I don’t doubt it or get in my head when it’s you.”

It felt like a confession. You pulled away from him after a moment, hands now lingering on his upper arm as you stared at him for a moment. He almost saw something on your face, but you turned away before he could try to figure out what it was. You went back to doing the dishes, and Seungkwan wordlessly stepped in to help you with them.

Seungkwan thought to himself, in that moment, that he was doomed to always love you no matter who he saw. That the person he was looking for in every single person would always be you. But... if it meant the two of you stayed connected so deeply like this, even when you were angry at one another, then he would be okay with it.

Even when you fought, he would always love you. Maybe that, too, was part of love, as complicated as it was to admit that.

Seungkwan was twenty-four when things were... beyond stressful. Between law school being hard and nursing school draining you most days, Seungkwan felt like he barely saw you despite living together. If nothing else, he barely saw you happy most days. Neither of you really went out with anyone unless they were friends, careers taking priority over any kind of romantic relationship. But that was okay: the two of you had talked about that kind of thing over a rare dinner together. You didn’t want to bring anyone new into your life when everything was so busy, and he was too stressed to really let go with someone that wasn’t already close to him. The two of you were working hard, and all you could really do was support the other through it all. Sometimes it took the form of movie nights when he came disgruntled and unable to read another word of his text book or old cases, and he liked to think he was better at giving massages after long hours of you being in the hospital for things. God knew you should see a professional, but you were trying to save up and keep money in your account for rent and food and other necessities right now. When you were an actual nurse, maybe then you’d start occasionally seeing a professional.

It also came with the two of you venting to one another. He’d heard about the people that you worked with. About Dr. Choi, who was strict but seemed to have a soft spot for you because you brought him a latte once when he looked particularly exhausted. Seungkwan actually met another nurse you worked with--Jeon Wonwoo--when he went up to the hospital one night because you forgot your umbrella... Only for Wonwoo to have been leaving at the same time, offering both of you a ride back to your apartment. Seungkwan, despite knowing just how stressed your job made you, liked how happy you were with it. He thought it was definitely good for you, and you always loved to talk about how you were helping people--even as a student. There were shitty patients who disrespected you (and your fellow medical professionals), but your drive was in your desire to make other people happier.

It was Saturday now, a rare day where you came home hours ago from working. He’d moved his headphones off when you came in, only for you to wave him off saying that you’d talk after you got a little rest. He readjusted them, and went back to studying hard. He was tired, though, and he could feel his eyelids growing heavier. He had research he had to do earlier, and now he was catching up in reading for one of his classes... Two years and he still wasn’t done, but at least he wasn’t in it alone. He had you.

His headphones must have gotten knocked askew when he fell asleep over his books, because the knock at the door had been enough to wake him up. He pulled his headphones off, getting up to stretch on his walk over. He opened the door, only to find a package waiting outside that was addressed to you. Seungkwan brought it inside, making a mental note to refill his water bottle in a minute, about to call out for you when you rushed in.

“Don’t open it!”

He wasn’t going to, but he nearly dropped the damn thing at how loud you suddenly were. You took the box from him quickly, hugging it tight to you with one arm as you fished around in a drawer for the box cutter. Seungkwan realized that he had apparently blocked everything you’d been doing out for the past hour (or maybe he was just that deeply asleep for a bit), because there were suddenly way more blankets in there than the two of you usually kept... and you had stolen one of the chairs from the dining table, pushed the coffee table forward...

“What are you doing?”

You’d already sat down on the floor, opening up the box. He hadn’t seen you this lively since that late night study group around midterms, and that was because of all the caffeine in your system. You’d been beyond burnt out since then, working on countless assignments and going to work. Today had just been a rare Saturday where both of you were home, just giving you time to study and rest before next week kicked your asses once more.

“Can you bring the batteries?” You called out over your shoulder. “Triple-A. I need four.”

That didn’t answer his question, but Seungkwan did as you asked. Before he could see what was in the box, you stopped him, hand extended for the batteries.

“Go back to studying,” you ordered. “I’ll get you when everything’s ready.”

He didn’t move. He just furrowed his brow in confusion, wanting to question you further, only for you to huff in aggravation.

“Just trust me. Tonight’s... special.”

Seungkwan did as you said, including moving his chair to where his back was to you entirely. He could hear you moving around the apartment behind him, eventually answering the door again to get takeout (and immediately his stomach rumbled when he caught the scent of fried chicken from his favorite place). He almost asked if he was forgetting something important, but you just held up a hand.

“I’m almost done,” you told him with this cute smile on your face that was enough to make him agree to wait. “Okay? I’m almost done.”

It was cute how excited you were. It almost worried him, to be honest... It wasn’t his birthday. It wasn’t yours. Was he forgetting something big? Sure, it had almost been twenty years since the two of you became friends, but that friend-iversary wasn’t for another few weeks. The two of you already had plans for it, too: you were going to go to an amusement park and just pretend you didn’t have a thousand other things going on for a day.

When you finally came back to him, you had carefully pushed his assignment into the page he was reading before shutting his book for him. He couldn’t say no to you when he saw how happy you were. It was fine, too: technically he was a little ahead in his classes. He just wanted to give himself the best chances to succeed.

“Close your eyes.”

And he did, letting you slowly guide him from his chair. He couldn’t fight the smile on his face as your hands took his. With each slow step, he couldn’t help but wonder what you had in mind. At one point, you stopped, gently stepping around him to push him down onto his knees and then back--instructing him to just sit there for a moment.

“I just need a minute... So keep your eyes closed, okay? It’s a surprise.”

He listened, knees hugged to his chest right now as he listened to you move around the apartment. Something soft--one of those blankets, probably--gently thwacked him in the face at one point before it was immediately pulled away (and he almost giggled at the sound of your quiet swearing under your breath). He could hear the click of something plastic opening, and then the sound of you fumbling with those batteries, more plastic buttons being pressed...

“Okay. You can open your eyes now.”

He did, and the room was illuminated in stars. There was dinner on the table--his favorite dakgangjeong, an order for you, and various sides spread out--and the two of you were now sitting underneath a blanket fort that you must have fixed after you sat him down. You slid a little closer to him, taking his hands in your own.

“What are you--”

“Seungkwan,” you said firmly. “It’s been almost two decades since we became friends... but I remember we did this back when we were eight. And--I dunno. I guess I got sentimental. I know you’ve been stressed lately, too, and... I dunno, I just... It’s stupid, but I wanted to relive the first time I slept over at your house. And then I saw this thing,” you nodded toward the projector, “when I was browsing through random shit online, and then I got this stupid idea, and I thought it might just be a sign to go through with it...”

Seungkwan had never wanted to kiss you more than he did at that moment. Instead, he just choked up, tears brimming because of... all of it. All that was missing was the silly little drawing of the two of you and your families and your weird cat-dog-thing. But the dinner, the stars, the blanket fort...

“I love you.”

The words were out before he could even process it, and he realized what he just said. He grew more embarrassed, about to take them back. To say that he didn’t mean it like that, to try and save your friendship before he could destroy it with feelings that he thought were only one sided.

But he didn’t. He could see the way you looked at him. The way your eyes flickered down to his lips for a moment. Like magnetism, you drifted forward, about to kiss him when your forehead bumped against his again.

And he laughed. “Here,” he said. “Stay still.”

Seungkwan gently held your face so that he could angle his own, kissing you gently.

Seungkwan, at twenty-four, knew that he loved you. With every single beat of his heart, he loved you. You kissed him back, and he finally saw that you, at some point along the way, fell for him, too. The two of you weren’t two four year olds on the way home from school, where you took care of him and made sure he was okay. You weren’t eight year olds under a blanket fort, dreaming of living under the same roof with everyone you held dear to you, or fifteen year olds having their first kiss together because they were both too scared to have it with someone else because of the silly notion that they should know how to kiss before they did it. He was twenty four, and after a lifetime of questioning it, he thought he finally understood what love was.

You pulled away after a moment, eyes twinkling. He preferred the stars in them to the stars from that silly lamp. “I love you, too.”

And then you kissed him again, and everything felt right.

Love, he had learned, was a lot of things. The act of being happy with another person, of seeing their joy and treasuring it close to your heart. Of wanting them to be happy no matter what. To enjoy being around a person, and to yearn for their presence when they were gone for too long. Love was a feeling.

The act of accepting differences for what they are, of fighting but coming together because you cared about each other more. To put aside oneself in order to let someone find their happiness elsewhere. To surprise the other with something that might seem silly to other people, but meant the world to you. Love was an action, too.

But love? Love, he decided at that moment, is you.

And it was him, too.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #seungkwan x reader #seungkwan fluff #boo seungkwan fluff #seungkwan x you #boo seungkwan x reader #boo seungkwan x you

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eggroll-sama · 2 months

Text

Touchstarved Love Interest on a Hike

You and the touchstarved gang go on a forest hike. What could possibly go wrong? (I know this is really OOC, realistically they wouldn’t go on a hike together because the drama is crazy, but hey, it’s fun to imagine)

AIS

Doesn’t say much, but is enjoying the quality time. He lets the others take the reins because he trusts them.

Looks good wearing a T-shirt and shorts and lots of passersby check him out. Leander is not pleased.

The most physically built out of the five and doesn’t break a sweat even on the steep areas.

Can probably carry all the backpacks and still be fine, but won’t offer unless you beg him what a dick. Oh you want me to carry some of your stuff? No. Why? I don’t want to. In the end he would carry them for you.

Very unprepared. He just wore casual clothes and hiking shoes. Asking Kuras every 10 minutes if he can get a sip of his water or use his sunscreen.

Shows that he cares about the others when he slows his pace to match the slowest person in the group. It’s Vere. He listens to his complaining.

(More characters under the cut)

Looking out for any signs of danger.

Won’t take any pictures on the hike. If you try to take a picture with him he’ll either smile wickedly or lick your face for a reaction.

He’d get hungry and eats a poisonous mushroom even after Mhin pointed out that it was poisonous. Shrugs and throws away the mushroom cuz there was no flavor.

When he reaches the destination, he’d be impressed by the view and peacefully sit while drinking some oolong tea. Vere stole it from a hiker and gave it to him. How kind of him.

KURAS

Kuras likes to wander and discover new places so he said yes. He wasn’t pleased there would be other members Vere joining them. He tries to hide his distaste and focuses on the trail.

Is taken in by the nature and how the sun casts light between the trees and making a beautiful scenery. When a cool breeze passes and his hair flutters, it almost looks like their a forest fairy.

He brought extra water because he knew there would be somebody that would forget.

If he noticed you’re tired, he’d suggest that they’d take a break. Also brought a First Aid Kit if there was an accident. He’s a doctor; it would be embarrassing if he didn’t bring one.

The most elegant hiker. It’s very peculiar seeing him hiking because it looks like he’s gliding. He doesn’t break a sweat and has an amused look on his face the entire time. What is he thinking?

Walks beside Mhin and listens to them talking about random biology facts. Is very interested in what they have to say and will even point out at herbs as they pass by them.

Ignores Vere who keeps making backhanded comments about him from behind. Will keep quiet about a ditch, root, or a spider up ahead. Smiles when he hears Vere scream behind him.

He’d probably come back again by himself or with one extra person, either Mhin or MC.

LEANDER

99% chance that this whole thing was his idea. He’s an active guy and likes to spend time with others. He’d probably done the hike a number of times before.

The one leading. He’s prepared and has all the basic necessities, even things you wouldn’t think of. He caters to your needs the most. If you ask if anyone has x y and z, he’d be the first to offer it. He wants to be relied on and show he’s a competent man!

Acts as the “trail leader” of the group. Has a map in hand.

He whistles when he isn’t talking.

Highly susceptible to bug bites.

Notices that the group is functioning in pairs, Mhin with Kuras and Vere with Ais. He’d feel like a third wheel and will talk to you the most. Will get mopey if you talk to somebody else. If you notice he’s been quiet, join him at the front and talk to him and he’d be overwhelmed with joy.

Puts on a lot of deodorant and the others try not to cringe at the smell. Mhin or Vere would point it out and he’d laugh, but he’s dying inside.

Gets competitive when a bunch of hikers giggle to themselves over Ais. Oh wow is it getting hot out here, let me just take off my shirt and show off my sculpted abs. Ais knows exactly what he’s doing and side-eyes him.

When he reaches the destination, he tries to makes a speech about how proud he is of everyone and yada yada, nobody is listening and doing their own thing. He’s distraught. At least the view is nice.

MHIN

Doesn’t like anyone there except for Kuras and MC (Leander is tolerable).

Gets fed up really quickly with Vere’s complaining and Leander’s nonsensical chatter.

The one covered up the most because they get easily sunburnt.

Brought a gallon full of ice cold water and would not share.

Surprisingly agile and has high endurance.

Super unlucky, would step on the weirdest sh*t on the hike.

Enjoys the wildlife around them. Points out at things they’ve read in books. Will get really deep into it if you reciprocate the interest.

Keeping track of the map because they don’t trust Leander. Has caught him going the wrong direction a few times.

Looking out for danger #2.

Munches on plain crackers when they get hungry and looks like a hamster. If you point it out you’ll get stabbed.

Once at the destination, they try to find a souvenir rock. If you ask them what they’re doing they’ll shoo you away. If you give them a nice rock you found, they’d carefully analyze it before thanking you with a small blush.

VERE

He is not happy to be here. And he will make it clear from the very start.

High chance that he said yes cuz Ais was going.

Can’t stand listening to Kuras and Mhin being nerds and Leander talking about the time he almost got married to a middle-aged nun. HUH?! HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT-

Complains and super snarky at the very beginning, but gradually starts to quieten down due to fatigue.

Stealing stuff from fellow hikers just for the heck of it.

The best dressed hiker. Many people are in awe how sexy he looks. And yes, he made one of his admirers buy it for him. He will wear it once and then throw it away.

Sweat gives him that natural glow :0

Vere WON’T forget about the sunscreen and bug spray. He won’t let a hike ruin his skin for the rest of the week.

Does not look out for danger, IS the danger.

Rare sight of Vere with a high ponytail. Ais grabs him by the pony tail when he wants his attention.

Once he reaches the site, he’s going to take a quick nap under a shade. You can join him, but be wary.

#touchstarved game #touchstarved #touchstarved leander #touchstarved mhin #touchstarved kuras #touchstarved Ais #touchstarved Vere #ts ais #ts vere #ts mhin #ts kuras #ts leander #touchstarved headcanons #Ais headcanons #Vere headcanon #Leander headcanon #Mhin headcanon #Ais headcanon #Kuras headcanon

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norwegiankafka · 4 months

Note

Since requests are open, some Seong Taehoon angst please any scenario is okay.

hi anon! filled my first request hehe, hope you liked it.

You're losing me [Seong Taehoon, angst]

Synopsis: Taehoon lied about not getting into fights again, to you, and he comes back, being almost dead, and called you to come over.

I recommend you to listen to this song while reading!

I bring the first aid kit to the living room.

The house is silent. There's no one except Taehoon and me. It's late, and I should have been home since an hour ago. But here, I am, bandaging his wounds because he called me to come over.

I peeled off one by one, torn clothes' fabric that he used to close the wounds temporarily. Dried blood and wet blood mixed, making the fabrics wet along with sweat. I wiped each one of the wounds with antiseptic, careful not to hurt.

"Ack! Do it slowly!"

"This gonna hurt, y'know. Be still." I said, not even staring at him.

After I carefully cleaned all the wounds, I wrap almost half of his upper body with gauzes in several layers. Little scratches with bandages, all done. I picked all of the things I used before, tidying up all the mess, and stood up. But Taehoon grabbed my hand, tried to stop me.

"Hey. Can we talk for a minute?"

"What?"

"Look. I'm sorry, I lied."

"You're not even sorry, Taehoon. Why? Why do you kept lying? Have you ever trust me?"

"I just don' want ya worried, y'know."

"You don't want me worried, but you always come home for being almost dead. So many occasions yet you learnt none. I don't expect a sorry from a person that never feels sorry for their partner." I clenched my fists, yanking my hand back from his strong grips.

Taehoon covers his face with his hands, slowly carding and grabbing his own hair, seemingly frustated. "If I do things the way you wanted me to be, will you stay? We can start over. Don't leave!" Taehoon's voice raised a little by the end of his words, reaching a pitch I never heard before. Maybe he's about to cry, but whatever.

My mind races by almost every memory that I had with him. A year sure feels short, especially with him. Recently, prior and during their so-called mission of catching Lee Jinho, he got really distant. And it's not that I know something was up, he was just saying that he trains a lot to perfecting his moves. Silly me, believing all of the lies.

All the chats left unreplied, late dates, missing calls, etc. And one night, when we were about to go on dates, he called me and asked me to postpone the date because he felt kind of funny and not in the mood for going on a date. Funny for me, I can hear the faint sounds of the taekwondo car he and his friends usually use to go for missions, and Hobin's voice who was talking to someone else in the car. I said yes, and hang up the call. Best believe, Taehoon didn't even think I would knew it was all lies.

I'm trying my best to hold my tears. My voice started to crack, and suddenly breathing is so hard. The air is thick with loss and indecision. All the pain that I felt was all just an imposition. It's a burden. He didn't felt sorry for it, he felt exasperated for it.

"If we had to start over to feel okay, I guess maybe we weren't meant to be. This is final, Taehoon. I learnt my lesson, you don't. Hope you find someone that.. understands you, better than me. Sorry."

I can feel his gaze on my back. Walking out the door, I inhale the cold air the night serves for me. This might feel rough for days ahead, but I'll be okay. I'll be alright.

I close the metal fence behind me, and stared at the crescent moon. So pretty, yet alone. I hope the moon knew, they got a company tonight.

#how to fight #viral hit webtoon #seong taehoon #seong taehun #seong taehoon x reader #taehoon x reader #viral hit taehoon #how to fight taehoon

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icyhottodo · 11 months

Text

die for you | k.bg

summary: bakugo comes home all bruised up.

contains: cursing (it's bakugo, what did you expect? ), mentions of blood and injuries, pre-established relationship, gn reader and mean people.

wc: 0.9k

"what happened to you?!" you exclaimed, your boisterous voice heard throughout the apartment. you saw bakugo come home with a black eye and soot all over his clothes and face. there were even some cuts, allowing some of bakugo's blood to seep through his skin.

you told bakugo to sit on your shared bed and change into comfortable clothes while you went to the bathroom, where the first aid kit was placed. even though bakugo is one of the top heroes and has been in many gruesome fights, he always gets patched up in the hospital or with the recovery girl, who never fails to heal bakugo’s wounds. but bakugo wasn’t on patrol this time; he told you earlier that he was going to have a fun outing with kirishima. you would expect your lover to come home happy and safe, not all beaten up. so what happened?

"nothing," bakugo said sharply. his voice can still be heard from where you stand. bakugo sounded like he was trying to regain his breath, to which you assumed he ran back home.

walking back to where bakugo sat, you stood in between his legs. you start grabbing clean, non-alcoholic wipes to clear off the dirt and dried blood on his skin. you grabbed his calloused hands and arm, beginning to wipe them off. upon noticing red knuckles, your eyebrows furrowed deeper. you decided not to say anything about it, but you had your assumptions.

you let out a heavy sigh, breaking the deafening silence between the two of you. you start cleaning the filth on his face, stopping for a second to hold his face with both of your hands. slightly squishing his hidden chubby cheeks. "i won't ask for the details, but bakugo. i thought you were trying to stop being so short-tempered."

"i am! it's just…" bakugo groaned at your slight nagging. nonetheless, he leans adoringly into your touch, making his cheeks even more prominent. "it's just that while i was hanging out with shitty hair, i came across those shitty classmates you had back in high school, and they were talking shit about you. i couldn’t just walk away without doing anything."

you didn't have a tasteful relationship with your previous classmates. they weren’t precisely outright bullies with anyone, but they talked badly about a lot of people in your year, including you.

you stayed quiet about this information but went ahead to disinfect his wounds. because you chose to say nothing, bakugo became secretly nervous. usually, bakugo could care less what people thought about his lunatic actions. despite that, bakugo extremely cares about what you have to think about because, well, he is in love with you.

"what did they say about me?" this made almost all of bakugo’s worries wash away; you weren't exactly mad at him. but he can hear the slight tinge of insecurity in the tone of your voice, which made him hold onto your hand and squeeze it lightly in an effort to comfort you.

"they were questioning how we were dating, saying you ‘are ugly," and if you bribed me to become your significant other. they said more things, but i started seeing red by then." bakugo rolls his eyes, reliving the situation.

"you can ask kirishima more about what they said. i tuned out everyone’s voices once i landed a punch. and yes, shitty hair is okay." the crimson-eyed man added, knowing that you would ask about the red riot hero, too. you told bakugo to stay put while you went to the kitchen to grab an ice pack from the refrigerator; you were going to treat that distinct black eye he got.

"close your eyes," you instructed, after going back to your original spot in front of bakugo. preparing his ice pack, you suddenly felt two arms wrapping around your waist, then they pulled you into your boyfriend’s embrace. the scent of caramel engulfed your senses, and the warmth spread throughout your body.

"i don’t care if i’m hurt. can’t i just cuddle with you instead of you nagging at me?" his muffled voice becomes apparent when he snuggles his face against your chest. you let out a long exhale at your boyfriend’s request.

while you were glad bakugo had stood up for you, you wouldn’t want him to come home every day looking beaten up. sure, bakugo has faced scarier things, or he has been in far more pain than he is right now. but that never helped you worry less about your lover.

"when your black eye stops swelling, then we can cuddle," you instructed as you put the ice pack on his bruised right eye. the sudden contrast of his warm skin made bakugo hiss at the coldness suddenly put on him, and maybe secretly at the fact that you denied his offer of affection.

"thank you for protecting me, bakugo. but there are other ways to defend me other than throwing hands." although you first denied bakugo’s request, you pushed him softly to lie down on the bed.

"love, i would die for you. rather than using 'my words'." bakugo deadpans.

you ignored bakugo's comment, as you pulled up the blanket to cover both of your bodies and wrapped your arms around bakugo, to which he grumbled out of happiness. you pecked bakugo on the cheek and said, "thank you for loving me, bakugo."

#im so bad at titles #idk why i keep writing for bkg LOL #☆MHA #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha imagines #mha x y/n #my hero acedamia #katsuki bakugo #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katuski x reader #mha fanfiction #mha #bnha

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genshinluvr · 1 year

Text

Haus of Harbingers

Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: You've always wanted to see the inside of the Harbingers' estate, and now you finally did! You never knew why the men didn't want you to go over there to visit other than because the estate belonged to the four Harbingers. Who knew that this would be the first and last time you visited the Haus of Harbingers.

Note: I think this is a somewhat anticipated chapter; people want to know what the Harbingers' estate looks like and the reader visiting it. So, here it is! >:D I took a while to update this on a Saturday because I went to a Genshin meet-up and was in line for a few hours. I was also in cosplay, and it took me some time to get out of it 💀 I'm trying to keep up with my updates while midterms are going on. Then again, the quarter is nearing the end, and I am hoping that I did well this quarter of the school year 🥹 Hoping the next quarters will be good to me. Anyway! I hope you all like this fic! Remember that I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: Other than the reader getting a minor cut, there are not many warnings in this story that I know of 🤔

Word Count: 8k

You lay in the hammock underneath the tree in the abode, staring up at the leaves that covered the brilliant blue sky and fluffy cotton candy white clouds. You turn on your side and are now facing the secondary mansion in the abode. The manor belongs to the Harbingers, a place that you’ve never visited before nor have you stepped foot into. Slowly sitting up on the hammock, you keep your eyes on the estate, your head tilting to the side.

“Am I allowed to step foot into their estate?” You mutter to yourself. “They did say, that one time, that I can always come over whenever I want and that I’m always welcomed.” You stroke your chin and slowly get up from the hammock.

You place your left foot on the grass and hop out of the hammock, only for your right foot to get caught in between the ropes. You tumble to the ground with a loud thud, your right leg dangling in the air. You wince and reach up towards the rope to free yourself from the restraints.

“That fall looks painful. Do you want me to get the first aid kit?”

You jolt when someone suddenly speaks up. You look up from where you lay and smile sheepishly when you and Tighnari make eye contact. Tighnari walks over to where you’re lying before squatting in front of you, his ears twitching.

“Other than my pride being bruised, I think something else is bruised as well.” You feel your face heat up.

Tighnari stands up and frees you from the restraints of the hammock. You sigh in relief, rubbing your foot. Tighnari holds his hand out for you to take, and you grab it with a grateful smile. You dust your clothes off and let Tighnari lead you back to the estate with him walking ahead of you. You look over at the Harbingers' mansion with curiosity.

“Snookums, what are you looking at? You should be looking at me instead!” Childe whines, trotting up to you.

You snap out of your thoughts and look over at Childe with a smile. “Alright, you have my attention, you big baby.” You snort, wrapping your arms around his waist and letting him pull you into the mansion.

“[Y/N], did something happen?” Baizhu asks, walking up to you while gazing at you worriedly.

“I…. yes and no?” You look at Baizhu inquisitively. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re asking me about specifically. Can you please clarify that for me?”

Albedo stands next to Baizhu. “We saw Tighnari walking to the infirmary while muttering something about getting a first aid kit for you because you injured yourself.”

“Oh! Well, my foot got caught in the ropes of the hammock, and I fell to the ground. Other than that, I’m okay!” You said, giving the men thumbs up. “I do have a minor scratch, so I might as well get that disinfected and wrapped up in a bandaid, just in case.”

Tighnari comes back with a small first aid kit in his hands. He gestures for you to sit down on the couch so he can treat your minor wound. You walk over to the couch and sit down on the empty couch across from Zhongli, who is reading a book that he has gotten from the shelf in the abode’s library. Zhongli looks up from his book and gives you a smile, closing the book and placing it on the coffee table between you two.

“Did you enjoy your time alone on the hammock, dearest?” Zhongli asks softly.

You smile widely and nod your head. “Yes, I did! It was nice to sit on the hammock alone under the tree’s shade. Although, I couldn’t help but miss listening to your stories whenever we sit under in the hammock in the shade.” You reach toward Zhongli and lightly poke his chest.

“You enjoy those stories? In my opinion, most of the stories are kind of a snooze fest to me! But the ones that I really like, and get my blood pumping, would be the stories about the archon war!” Itto says, plopping down beside you and draping his arm over your shoulders.

“Geez, Itto. No need to throw shade at Zhongli and his stories.” Cyno mutters, stifling his laughter and clearing his throat loudly.

Al Haitham slowly looks over at Cyno, his left eye twitching. “What is up with you and pun jokes?”

Venti chuckles and lightly nudges Al Haitham. “Oh, come on, Al Haitham! Lighten up! Cyno’s jokes are pretty funny and clever,” Venti says. Al Haitham mutters under his breath and lets out a slow sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose lightly.

“Dear archons, why is Tighnari putting a bandaid on you? You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Gorou asks the minute he steps into the living room, his ears twitching with worry and his eyes zeroing in on the area where Tighnari is disinfecting.

You shake your head. “My foot got caught in the ropes of the hammock, and I fell. I’m okay; nothing to worry about! There’s a tiny scratch, and Tighnari is putting a bandaid over it, even though he didn’t have to do it.” You pat Tighnari’s head. “All of you are worrywarts, but it’s cute!” You added, putting your hands in your lap.

Diluc sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. “How can we not worry? Do you not remember the time when you wanted to pet those rifthounds on Tsurumi Island?” Diluc asks.

You pursed your lips and lightly tugged on the hem of your shirt. “Listen, that was when I first arrived in Teyvat. I wanted to see if the things in your world would affect me or not.” You shrugged your shoulders as if it was the obvious answer. “Plus, I bet they look adorable as babies! Well, pups.” You clap your hand lightly.

You couldn’t help but realize that living in the central estate is full of life and energy where you and the majority of the men reside. While the main manor of the abode is bigger and full of life, you can’t help but wonder what the atmosphere is like over at the Harbingers’ estate. Was it just as full of life, or was it more calm and quiet over there? After all, there are, like, four people living in that estate compared to the main mansion.

“What’s on your mind?” Heizou asks, poking your forehead lightly and keeping his index finger connected to your forehead.

You blink up at Heizou and grab onto his finger, lightly squeezing it. “I was wondering….” You trailed off, slowly spacing out.

It was now Aether’s turn to poke you in the forehead to grab your attention. “You’re wondering what?” Aether asks; he tilts his head to the side cutely. The way he did it reminds you of a cat.

You press your lips into a thin line. “This estate is always full of life. There’s never a dull moment here, like ever,” You said.

Now, how are you going to be able to ask them for permission to go to the Harbingers’ mansion? It’s not like you need supervising wherever you do. Still, because most men are wary of the Harbingers—heck, even Scaramouche and Childe are skeptical of the other four Harbingers and their intentions! Surely they would mind if you paid the four Harbingers a visit, right? After all, you do need a change of scenery once in a while! Plus, they did invite you to come and visit their estate, so it would be rude to leave that invitation unanswered.

“There’s never a dull moment in this estate because we’re constantly surrounded by idiots who wreak havoc in the estate.” Xiao huffs, looking over toward Itto, Childe, Aether, Venti, and Heizou. The quintet gives Xiao a look of disbelief; some look offended (Childe), while the others (Aether and Venti) try to act like they didn’t hear anything that came out of Xiao’s mouth. You snort and shake your head.

“I love how this mansion doesn’t have a dull moment. This makes me wonder about the atmosphere over at the Harbingers’ estate.” You said thoughtfully, resting your back against the couch. “I’ve never been there, so I wouldn’t know.” You shrugged your shoulders with a yearning sigh.

“You want to visit the Harbingers’ estate, don’t you?” Scaramouche raises his eyebrows at you, his arms crossed over his torso.

“Maybeeeeee. Yes….” You trail off. “I just want to see what it looks like on the inside! They also invited me to come over whenever I want to, and I think it’s rude if I leave their invitation unanswered!” You quickly added.

“I don’t know. As much as I want you to visit the Harbingers’ estate, I can’t help but get a strange feeling from their estate.” Ayato mutters.

“What, you guys think that they have some secret laboratory where they experiment on people without our knowledge?” You ask sarcastically. The men remain silent and stare at you, their lips pressed in a thin line. “Oh my gosh, do you guys think they actually do that?” You whisper, and your eyes widen with surprise.

“They are Harbingers, so it’s possible that they perform outlandish experiments on creatures and humans,” Kaeya replies.

“Especially Dottore; they call him “The Doctor” for a reason,” Thoma interjects, propping both of his hands on his hips.

You sigh softly. “How about this; you all can come along with me to make sure that nothing happens! I’m sure nothing will happen, but to ease your worries, you call can go visit their estate with me!” You suggest.

“I think paying a visit to their estate would be a nice change! After all, they do visit our mansion quite a lot. It’s only fair that we’re the visitors, and they’re the hosts.” Kazuha says with a faint smile on his face.

You grin widely and clap your hands. “Great! Let’s go visit them now!” You said. You got up from the couch and skipped towards the front door of the estate.

“Oh, you mean today. I thought we were going to pay the Harbingers a visit the next day.” Dainsleif blinks at you before turning to look at the other men around him.

“Wow, Dainsleif, I didn’t know you’re a rhyme god,” Cyno commented, the corners of his lips curving up in a small smile.

Al Haitham smirks. “Looks like you can learn a thing or two from him, Cyno. Your jokes need improvement, for sure.” Al Haitham feigns a yawn. Al Haitham lets out a grunt when Cyno elbows him in the ribs with his elbows.

Tighnari lets out an exasperated sigh and shakes his head at Al Haitham and Cyno. “Children these days. Always bickering and picking on each other over the littlest things.” Tighnari lets out a small “tsk” of displeasure.

“I mean, I did want to visit them today, but if tomorrow is preferable, then we can do that instead!” You said, rocking back and forth on your heels. “I’m okay with whichever options you all choose as long as we visit their estate.” You said.

“Should we inform them of our visitation tomorrow?” Zhongli asks. You pause for a moment and caress your chin with your hand, and pinch the fat of your chin. You want the visitation to be a surprise, but it would be rude to suddenly drop by without informing the four men about it. They might need time to make their estate look presentable if there is anything they need to adjust and clean.

“That depends. Are we only visiting those Harbingers just to see what the inside of their mansion looks like, or are we going to stay for some time and have breakfast or lunch over at their manor?” Diluc raises his eyebrows.

Childe snorts. “If we’re staying over for breakfast or lunch, Thoma should be the one to cook. Those men may be good at their job, but cooking isn’t their specialty.”

“Oh? So despite me being the visitor, I still have to cook for the hosts of that estate?” Thoma huffs, narrowing his eyes at Childe.

“I think we’re just going to visit them! After all, I don’t think they have a dining table that sits up to over twenty people. After all, there are four people living in that estate compared to our mansion.” You commented as you walked back to the loveseat where you had sat previously. “Plus, I have a small feeling that none of you want to stay for long, so we might as well visit and get a tour of their estate,” You added.

“Do you think they have a lab like Albedo?” Heizou whispers to Aether.

Aether nods his head. “Oh, no doubt about it! I know Dottore has some underground lair where he has experiments and clones of himself.” Aether replies in a faint whisper.

“Dottore is a strange man, don’t you think?” Venti asks.

Ayato lets out an amused laugh. “They’re all strange. I don’t understand how they’re able to convince us to let them reside in their own estate in our abode,” Ayato says, brushing away the speck of dust on his shoulders.

Dainsleif nods his head. “Yeah, you and me both,” Dainsleif mutters.

Lately, there has been tension between the men and the four Harbingers. While the Harbingers are nice to you, the other men couldn’t help but be wary around them. Childe and Scaramouche would always stick to your side if any of the other Harbingers were present. Despite them being comrades (well, former comrades on Scaramouche’s end), the six Harbingers are tense around each other and would look like they’re ready to draw out their weapons and possibly kill each other on the spot if they could.

It’s not any better with the other men as well. Especially Diluc; you knew the red-headed man hated the Harbingers with burning passion. Diluc tries his best to keep his distance from the Harbingers; he can tolerate Childe and Scaramouche to an extent. But with the other four Harbingers, that’s a different story, and Diluc would try his best to avoid them like the plague. Dottore, in particular, loves messing with Diluc, and he knows how protective Diluc is of you. Dottore would test Diluc’s patience by teasing you to the point where Diluc launched his claymore in Dottore’s direction, almost decapitating the man.

Needless to say, the tensions are high between these men, and you’re not even sure if they should reside in the same abode at this point. Yes, they live in separate estates, but it doesn’t quell the tension between these men.

“Well, since we’re visiting their mansion tomorrow, I’m going to take a nap.” You said, getting up from the couch. “I’m really exhausted.” You rub your eyes.

“Oh? Are you tired because of how often you’ve been studying for the Akademiya?” Albedo asks, looking at you curiously.

You nod your head to Albedo’s question. It’s midterms week at Sumeru Akademiya, and you’ve been studying nonstop. The only time you’re able to take a break from your studies is when you are lying in the hammock underneath the tree at the abode, which was a moment ago.

“Remember to take a break in between your studies; we don’t want you to have an emotional breakdown like last time,” Kaeya says, raising his right eyebrow at you.

You nod your head. “I know, Kaeya. I have been taking fifteen-minute breaks in between my studies, but then that fifteen minutes will extend to twenty or thirty minutes long.” You scratch the back of your neck with a sheepish smile.

“If you find yourself needing to take a break from your studies, you can always hang out with one of us as a way to relax. We can find some activities to do together!” Gorou suggests, stopping before you.

Your eyes light up. “Oh! That’s a great idea, Gorou! I’m going to do that the next time I study!” You said, smiling at the man in front of you. “Anyway, I’m going to go take a nap now. I feel my eyelids threatening to close. Goodnight, everyone.” You let out a sigh before making your way toward the stairs.

“It’s early afternoon, but goodnight.” Baizhu chuckles, patting the top of your head when you walk past by him.

Itto ruffles your hair with a big grin on his face. “Goodnight, cutie! I’ll see you when you wake up from your nap!”

“Yeah, see you all when I wake up from my nap!” You said, letting out a small yawn as you walked up the stairs of the estate.

You open the door to your bedroom and close the door quietly. You walk to your bed and plop on top of it, letting your body relax into the soft mattress and comforter. You feel your eyelids grow heavy, and you’re out like a light.

When you come to your consciousness, you notice that your bedroom is lit up by the sunlight peeking from the curtains. You sit up on your bed and look around, dazed and confused. You threw your blanket off your body and made your way toward the door. How long did you take a nap? You feel your stomach growling; it is almost as if it’s desperately begging for you to get something to eat.

You walk down the stairs of the estate and see the men sitting at the table, food sitting in front of them while they converse with each other. What caught you by surprise was the food itself. They’re having breakfast. When you went to bed, it was early afternoon, according to Baizhu. You rub your eyes and stop in your tracks, staring at the men quizzically.

“Oh! It looks like someone is finally awake from their slumber,” said Kazuha as he lifted his cup to his lips and slowly took a sip of his water.

You sit on the empty seat and look at them with confusion. “How long was I asleep for?” You ask, running your hands through your hair.

“Well, you went to bed in the early afternoon. It is now the next day.” Xiao commented, his amber eyes shining with amusement.

You blink at Xiao, your eyes almost as wide as the dinner plates that Thoma has placed in front of you. “I was asleep for that long?!” You squeaked.

Scaramouche nods his head. “Yes. Now, before you ask why we didn’t wake you up from your nap, we did. I’m surprised you didn’t remember us waking you up for lunch and dinner.” Scaramouche smiles at you. You sit back in your seat and press your lips together, trying to think about what had happened after you fell asleep. But you have no recollection of any of the men waking you up from your nap.

“Huh. I must’ve been really tired.” You scratch your head. “I have no memory of waking up at all.”

“Eat your breakfast, and we’ll explain everything to you,” Dainsleif says. Dainsleif cuts into his pancakes with a knife, and his eyes remain focused on you.

You nod your head and grab the cutlery, digging into your breakfast. While you eat your breakfast, each man would explain to you what happened after you went to your bedroom to take a nap. Apparently, after you went to take a “nap,” you took a nap for hours. Whenever they check up on you to see if you’re okay, you’re completely out cold and wouldn’t wake up to the littlest things like how you usually do. Considering you’re a light sleeper, to them, it’s concerning that you slept through the things the men did.

Childe smacked your face with a pillow; you continued to sleep, unmoving. Itto attempts to scream into your ears, but you didn’t flinch one bit. Aether pinched your arm; you didn’t jolt from the pain. Instead, you would mumble and brush his hands away from you, rolling to your side while hugging a Childe body pillow that Childe has gotten for you as a gag gift.

“Huh, that is weird,” You mutter. “At least all of you were able to wake me up and get me to eat something. I guess studying so much for the midterms at the Akademiya has put my body under so much stress that my body has shut down on its own.”

Childe smiles and runs his hands through your bedhead. “You were so sleepy that you clung onto me while attempting to eat lunch and dinner. You kept mumbling about how sleepy you were, but you wanted to continue to study.” His bottom lip juts out slightly.

“[Y/N], you haven’t been pulling all-nighters, have you?” Al Haitham asks, resting his arm on the table while gazing at you with scrutiny.

You clear your throat and reach for the glass cup of water in front of you. “As much as I want to lie to all of you about this, I can’t.” You sigh dramatically. “Yes, I have been pulling all-nighters for my studies. But I’m doing well in school!” You said.

“I find it interesting how there are different mattress sizes.” Cyno mused, stroking his chin.

Tighnari’s fork stops in mid-air in front of his face. “What are you up to, Cyno?” Tighnari sighs, placing his fork down on the plate.

Cyno sits back in his seat and fiddles with the fork in his hands. “If there is a king and queen-size mattress, where does the prince sleep?” He furrows his eyebrows while gnawing on his bottom lip.

“Huh, speaking of king and queen mattresses, I never realized that there are no prince or princess mattresses.” Aether mumbles to Heizou.

Heizou snorts. “That’s because it sounds ridiculous compared to a king and queen-sized bed,” Heizou whispers to Aether, lightly hitting him on the shoulders.

“What do you think, [Y/N]? You’re an Akademiya student; surely you should know where the prince sleeps.” Venti says, leaning on the table while wiping his lips with the cloth napkin.

You blink at Venti. “I may be an Akademiya student, but I’m no expert when it comes to jokes,” You reply. You know that Cyno has a joke in mind, but you’re not entirely sure what the answer is, but you know that the answer is going to irritate Al Haitham, as per usual. You hum and tap on your chin, trying to think of what the answer could be, but your mind ends up becoming blank. You glance over at Cyno and shrug your shoulders.

“He sleeps on the heir mattress.” Cyno smiles.

“Wait, that’s actually pretty good,” Thoma exclaims, laughing under his breath while Al Haitham stares at Cyno with a blank look.

“How do you come up with these jokes, Cyno? It’s impressive that you can crack a joke about anything at any time,” said Ayato.

“If I recall correctly, Cyno carries around a joke book with him,” You murmur. “I’m impressed that Cyno is able to come up with this joke on the spot.” You smile at Cyno.

“What time is it right now?” Baizhu murmurs; he gets up from his seat to check on the clock in the living room.

“It’s a quarter to ten in the morning,” Albedo says.

“Is that so?” Kaeya murmurs, glancing over to check the time.

“Since it’s a quarter to ten o’clock, we should finish up our breakfast and walk over to the Harbingers’ mansion to get a tour of their estate,” Gorou says, getting up from his seat with his plate in his hands.

Itto’s eyes widen. “Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about the tour of the Harbingers’ mansion!” Itto gasps, lightly smacking his forehead with the palm of his hands.

You lean over and lightly pat Itto’s back. “It’s okay, Itto! I forgot about it too.” You pursed your lips before cutting the pancake into small slices.

“Damn, we shouldn’t have mentioned it then,” Scaramouche whispers, burying his face into his hands.

Diluc sighs softly and nods his head. “For once, I agree with a Harbinger,” Diluc mutters as he finishes up his breakfast.

Seeing people finishing up their breakfast, you begin to shovel pancakes into your mouth to the point where you look like a chipmunk. Zhongli looks at you worriedly and places his hand on your back, lightly rubbing your back as if he is comforting you in a way.

“Dearest, please do not eat too fast. You’ll choke and give yourself indigestion.” Zhongli chides; Zhongli grabs onto a napkin and wipes the corner of your lips.

You swallow the pancakes and wince when you feel them go slowly down your esophagus. You slowly nod your head, rubbing your chest as the pancakes slowly make their way down your throat and to your stomach. You should have taken Zhongli’s advice and slowed down, but instead, you continued to eat fast.

“Here, drink your water, and hopefully, it’ll help,” Xiao says, handing you your cup of water. You take the cup from Xiao’s hands and let out a strained sigh.

“Oh no, do I have to get the bucket?” Tighnari asks, propping his hands on his hips while examining your face closely.

You shake your head and wave him off. “I’m okay, I ate too fast, and now it’s going down my esophagus very slowly. It hurts, but I should be okay once it’s completely down.” You grunt. You lift the cup to your lips and take a slow sip from it.

“You don’t need to rush. Just take your time with your breakfast,” Xiao sighs, wiping the thin sheen of sweat from your forehead.

You mumble to yourself and nod your head. Seeing people eat fast and finish ahead of you makes you feel a little bit embarrassed because you’re kind of a slow eater depending on what food you’re eating. But in general, you’re a slow eater because you get distracted by many things. In your world, you’re always on your phone whenever you eat because your phone is your source of entertainment while you’re eating or relaxing.

Childe chuckles. “You must really want to visit the Harbingers’ mansion,” Childe says.

You shrug your shoulders. “It’d be nice to visit their estate! But I don’t like eating alone, and seeing people finish their food so fast and getting up to leave makes me eat faster because I didn’t want to be left behind.” You mumble. You quickly shake your head and clear your throat. “Let’s not talk about my fear of abandonment right now. I’m saving that for therapy,” You said.

Fifteen minutes later, you finally finished eating your breakfast, washing the dishes, and putting them away. Now, you and the men stand in front of the Harbingers’ estate after getting ready for the day. The mansion is almost as big as the primary estate in the abode, only it’s one hundred square feet smaller, but it is a tad bit taller than the main manor.

In front of you and the twenty men is a vast entrance of the Harbingers’ mansion. The door is black with intricate silver designs. You raise your fist and lightly knock on the door of the Harbingers’ estate.

“This is pretty nice up close,” Aether says in awe, his yellow-gold eyes scanning the estate with wonder.

Scaramouche scoffs. “Please, ours is better than theirs. Their estate is probably filled with antiques,” Scaramouche mutters.

“Considering they’re old, I wouldn’t be surprised if they do have antiques in their estate.” Heizou snickers, covering his mouth with his hand.

You clear your throat awkwardly. “You do realize that we live in an estate with archons and immortals? Scaramouche is one of them too.” You nudge Heizou’s ribs lightly with your elbows.

Venti giggles. “I don’t collect antiques, but I do know a certain blockhead that does.” Venti looks over at Zhongli, who glares at him in return.

“Shh! Someone’s coming!” Gorou hisses, his ears perking up while staring at the door on high alert.

The lock of the grand front door clicks, and the door slowly opens. Pantalone peers through the door and looks at everyone with surprise. A smile appears on Pantalone’s face. He opens the door widely and leans against it.

“Oh, we weren’t expecting guests.” Pantalone hums softly, stroking his chin. “To what do we owe the pleasure?” His eyes land on you, and his smile grows wider.

You laugh shyly. “Sorry for the sudden visitation, Pantalone. I remember you all inviting us to come over to visit the Harbingers’ estate, but we never got around to it until now!” You said, rocking back and forth on your feet. “I should have informed you four about the visitation a day prior, but I never got around to it.” Your cheeks heat up with shame.

Pantalone reaches forward and grabs your hand, pulling you into a hug. “It’s alright, my precious angel. Although your and the others’ appearance is unexpected, it’s not an unpleasant surprise.” Pantalone coos, running his gloved fingers through your hair.

“Pantalone, who is at the door? We’re not expecting any guests.” You hear Pierro say gruffly from the inside of the Harbingers’ estate.

Footsteps approach from behind Pantalone; Dottore peers down at you and looks at the other men with an amused smile on his face. Nothing has happened yet, but you can already sense the tension slowly rising between Pantalone, Dottore, and the twenty men behind you.

“Oh, little butterfly! You’re here!” Dottore smiles at you. Dottore looks up at the men, giving them a fake smile. “And others.” Dottore clears his throat.

“Hi, Dottore! Remember how you guys said we’re always welcome to stop by the Harbingers’ estate to visit? Well, today is the day!” You said, smiling up at both Dottore and Pantalone.

Dottore chuckles and nods his head. “Yes, I do remember that, little butterfly. Although we were inviting you and not the others, that’s okay. I guess the others can get a tour of the estate as well…” Dottore trails off, stroking his chin.

“So? Are you not going to invite us in?” Kaeya asks, crossing his arms over his torso with his eyebrow raised at Dottore and Pantalone.

Pantalone and Dottore gesture for everyone to enter their estate, leading the way. You and the men follow after the two Harbingers into their mansion. The floors are marbled tiled floors; white, glossy, and clean. The walls are dark gray, with pitch-black pillars holding up the loft and black spiral stairs leading up to the second floor.

Dark blue curtains covered the windows, blocking out any sunlight from peeking into the estate. In the middle of the ground of the estate is a fluffy white rug; you presumed that they must have skinned a Frostarm Lawachurl and turned its fur into a luxurious carpet of some sort. You wouldn’t be surprised if you see the Frostarm Lawachurl’s skull on display somewhere.

“Interesting interior design choice.” Diluc murmurs, his red eyes examining his surroundings.

“It looks quite luxurious, although the color schemes and the marbled tiles make the estate seem….” Kazuha trails off, unsure of what to say about the atmosphere of the Harbingers’ mansion.

You rub your arms and shiver. “Is it just me, or is it cold in here?” You ask.

Ayato looks over at Kazuha. “I believe you’re looking for the word cold. The interior design, the color scheme, and the marble floors do make the estate seem colder,” Ayato says.

Dainsleif lets out an amused huff of breath. “It’s humorous how the atmosphere, the interior design, and the color scheme fits the people that inhabit this estate.” The corner of Dainsleif’s lips quirks up.

Al Haitham nods his head. “Very fitting. I’m not surprised that the interior is almost as cold as the residents.”

Capitano scoffs in disgust. “Did you all drop by to make snide comments about the estate and the residents? If so, you can escort yourselves out of the estate and never return.” Capitano crosses his arms over his chest.

“No, no, no. [Y/N] was looking forward to visiting your estate yesterday. You wouldn’t want to let them down now, would you?” Albedo asks, stepping forward with a small frown on his face.

“[Y/N] can stay for as long as they like. You twenty can leave the Harbingers’ estate if all you’re going to do is insult it.” Capitano states. You can almost hear him roll his eyes beneath his mask (helmet?).

“Let’s not argue now. The sooner we get this tour started, the sooner they can leave.” Pierro sighs, almost rolling his eyes.

“Except for [Y/N]. They can stay for as long as they like!” Pantalone says, looking over at you with a soft smile on his face. You give Pantalone a small smile and continue to rub your arms, hoping the friction you’re creating is going to provide you with some kind of heat to warm you up. You don’t know how the Harbingers’ can live in a cold estate; the cold temperature adds to the atmosphere of the mansion.

“Here, take my coat. I don’t want you to get cold,” Diluc says. He takes his coat off and is beginning to give you his jacket when Thoma shakes his head and holds his hand up, causing Diluc to pause.

Thoma takes his coat off and holds it towards you. “It’s okay, Diluc! I can give [Y/N] my jacket instead! You can put your coat back on!”

“Awkward.” Itto blurts out before quickly covering his mouth when Diluc and Thoma look over at him with unamused looks on their faces.

“My, my, fighting over who gets to give [Y/N] their jacket, are we?” Baizhu chuckles.

You stare at Thoma and Diluc’s jacket for a moment. As much as you would love to bundle up in their jackets, seeing them bicker over who gets to give you their coat is something you don’t want to deal with at the moment.

You laugh nervously and shake your head. “It’s okay, Thoma and Diluc! You two don’t have to give me your jackets.” You scratch your head. “In fact, I’m not feeling cold anymore!” You lie.

Everyone raises their eyebrows at you. You feel your face become hot under their gaze. Shit, are you that bad of a liar?

“I promise! I’m not cold anymore!” You lie once again. “Plus, I don’t want any of you to argue over who should be giving me their jackets and who shouldn’t.” You add.

Zhongli sighs softly. “If you say so…. If you do get cold, please let us know.” Zhongli gives your shoulder a light squeeze.

You nod your head. “Now! Let’s get this tour over with! I’m really curious about what I’m going to see!”

“Alright, I will lead the way,” said Pierro.

The tour of the Harbingers’ estate starts on the first floor of the estate. They show you all where the kitchen and dining are located; the kitchen is the same size as the kitchen at the central estate in the abode. In the dining room, the dining table is big enough for ten people to dine at. It’s a good thing that you and the men choose to eat at your estate rather than at the Harbingers’ estate because there was no way everyone would be able to sit and eat at the Harbingers’ mansion without people being left out.

Pierro gestures to the grand library on the first floor, second door to the right of the Harbingers’ estate. “We have a library that contains all kinds of books. Any book you desire, we have them here,” Pierro says.

“Do you guys have smut?” You mumble.

“Pardon?” Capitano leans in close to hear what you say. “Can you repeat that? We didn’t quite get it.” Capitano says.

You clear your throat. “I was wondering if you guys have the textbooks that I’m using for my studies right now. After all, Pierro did say that you guys have any books that we desire in the library.”

Dottore throws his arms around your shoulders, pulling you to his side. “That would depend on what textbook it is. If you’re asking about textbooks that are about botany, then there are a few of them in the library.”

Your eyes light up. “Wait, so does that mean that I don’t need to rent out the textbooks from the House of Daena? I can just rent them out at the library in your estate?!” You ask excitedly.

Pantalone chuckles and ruffles your hair endearingly. “There’s no need for you to rent out a textbook from our library, [Y/N]. You can take them whenever you need them, then return them to the library once you don’t need them anymore.”

You sigh in relief. “Oh, thank archons! I won’t be losing a large amount of mora to the Akademiya in the next quarter.”

The tour continued, and everyone made their way up the stairs in the Harbingers’ unique estate. There are portraits of each Harbinger hanging on the wall with their names and titles below the image. None of them are smiling in their paintings, giving the picture a slightly eerie feeling to them.

“Hmph. Self-portraits hanging on the wall of the estate? A little self-absorbed, might I say.” Diluc mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.

Childe nudges Diluc’s ribs with his elbows. “As much as I am wary of them as you are, I wouldn’t start trouble with them if I were you. They’re far more dangerous than I am.” Childe mumbles, giving his comrades a fake smile. “I know you have this whole Darknight schtick, but for your safety and [Y/N]’s safety, I wouldn’t cross the line when it comes to those four.”

You look around the second floor and walk over to the biggest window on the second floor. You peek between the curtains and gasp softly at the view in awe. The scenery is beautiful, and it lets you see almost the entirety of the abode.

“It would be nice to have this kind of view outside of my bedroom window.” You sigh wistfully. “The view from my bedroom window is nice as well, but this view is breathtaking.” You mutter.

Pierro approaches you from behind and places his hand on your shoulder. “We have a spare bedroom for you if you plan on spending the night here, away from the twenty other men,” Pierro says.

Your eyes widen. “I have a bedroom here?”

Pantalone walks up to you and Pierro and nods his head. “Of course! When putting this entire estate together, we also made sure to include some things for you in case you want to stay with us temporarily.”

“Can I see what the room looks like?” You ask excitedly, trying your best to contain your excitement and curiosity.

Dottore chuckles. “Of course! I’ll lead the way to your bedroom in this estate. The decor is rather simple, but the more you visit, the more we can add some things to your bedroom.” Dottore says, gesturing for you to follow after him.

You walk over to Dottore and let the man lead the way to your apparent bedroom at the Harbingers’ estate. You didn’t expect the Harbingers to make an extra bedroom for you at their manor; in fact, you didn’t think they would even think about you when putting the estate together! It’s sweet!

Dottore reaches towards you and grabs your hand, pulling you along with him to walk by his side. Dottore snakes his right arm around your waist and throws a look over his shoulders, locks eyes with the men two feet behind you two, and gives them a Cheshire smile before leading the way. Without hesitation, Diluc, Scaramouche, Childe, Al Haitham, Xiao, Cyno, and Zhongli follow after you and Dottore while the other men stand in place. Dainsleif clenches his hands into fists, slowly crossing his arms over his torso, his right hand coming up to his face, and he closes his eyes. Some day, Dainsleif will lose his composure and beat one of these Harbingers into a pulp for testing his patience. But for now, all Dainsleif can do is remain calm and not let their words and actions get to him.

Dainsleif lets out a soft sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows furrowing. “He’s testing my patience,” Dainsleif mutters, shaking his head.

Capitano lets out a huff of breath, almost sounding like a snort. “That’s Dottore for you. He likes to rile people up,” Capitano says. The men that remain behind mutter under their breaths before following after you and Dottore.

You and Dottore stop in front of a door; the wooden door is painted metallic silver, and intricate black designs decorate the bedroom door. Dottore nudges you forward towards the door lightly. You turn to look at him, only to see Dottore motioning you to open the bedroom door. You turn back to the bedroom door and grab the door handle— which is made of precious gems of Teyvat. Of course, the door handle would be fancy as well. You twist the door handle and slowly open the door.

The bedroom decor is black and white, giving it a luxurious feel to it. Black curtains lined with gold trimming hung over the massive bedroom window. A huge black fur rug in the middle of the bedroom; a large crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling, tiny crystals hanging from the larger gemstones. The bedroom is not too hot, not too cold. It was almost just right.

“Wow, what a fancy bedroom!” Itto says, plopping down on the massive bed, and lets out a sigh that almost sounds like a moan.

You point at the bed. “That’s a king-sized bed,” You state the obvious.

Aether tilts his head to the side, staring at the bed with confusion. “Why would one person sleep on a bed that can fit around two to three people?”

“At least [Y/N]’s not sleeping on an heir mattress.” Cyno mumbles under his breath. Al Haitham’s eyes twitch at Cyno’s comment, his hands itching to smack Cyno upside of his head for referring back to the joke he made a while ago.

Heizou shrugs his shoulders. “I think it’ll fit [Y/N] and their plushies.”

“Shhh! Don’t give them any ideas, or else they’ll do that and lure [Y/N] to stay with them instead of with us.” Venti whispers to Heizou.

Zhongli strokes his chin. “While the interior design is beautiful, it doesn’t seem to be the kind of bedroom [Y/N] would go for… then again, it is missing [Y/N]’s style and interests,” Zhongli murmurs.

“Oh? And what would that be?” Pantalone asks, looking at Zhongli curiously.

“This bedroom is cozy, but it feels more like a hotel than a bedroom that feels like home,” You said. “Don’t get me wrong! The bedroom is beautiful, and I love the interior design, but I want to feel at home when if I do spend the night here one day instead of feeling like I’m staying at a fancy hotel.” Your eyes scan your supposed bedroom, and you sit down on the massive bed.

“Hm. Noted, we’ll keep that in mind if we arrange some things around or add a few decorations to your bedroom.” Pierro says.

Dottore claps his hands. “Enough of the interior of our humble estate; let us give you a little tour of our botanical garden!” Dottore smiles widely.

Tighnari’s ears perk up, and his eyes shine almost as bright as the sun. “A botanical garden, you say?”

Dottore smiles and nods his head, motioning for everyone to follow him out to the back of the Harbingers’ estate. It turns out that in the Harbingers’ backyard, there is a medium-sized botanical garden that contains various plant species throughout Teyvat. Tighnari immediately went straight to the plants that weren’t from Sumeru and began asking questions about the plants to the two men from those regions, Albedo and Zhongli.

While the men are occupied with admiring the various plant species in the botanical garden, you walk up to Capitano and tap him on the shoulders, grabbing his attention.

“Capitano, can you tell me where the bathroom is at? I, uh, need to use the toilet.” You clear your throat awkwardly.

“There’s a bathroom on the first floor. It’s in the hall to your left,” Capitano replies.

You give Capitano a grateful smile and quickly thank him before walking back into the Harbingers’ estate, searching for the bathroom. It took you a while to find the bathroom because of the unfamiliar layout of the Harbingers’ estate. After being able to find the bathroom and relieve yourself, and wash your hands, you walk out of the bathroom.

Right when you’re about to walk back out of the estate, a room at the very back of the mansion catches your eye. You stop in your tracks and stare at the door tucked away in the estate; it is almost barely noticeable. You slowly take a step towards the door, your curiosity getting the best of you.

You stop in front of the door and notice a bright blue-green light illuminating the cracks of the door. You raise your hand, hovering your hands above the door. You’re itching to take a peek to see what’s inside the mysterious room that Dottore, Pantalone, Pierro, and Capitano have skipped over when giving you and the men a tour of their estate. You shake your head and let your hand fall at your side. You turn around to walk back to the botanical garden, only to see Dottore standing there with his arms crossed behind his back.

“Good choice, kitten. Now, come here before you catch a glimpse of something you’re not supposed to see.” Dottore gestures for you to come closer with his index and middle finger.

You gulp and slowly approach Dottore, feeling like a child that has been caught red-handed in the cookie jar. Whatever is in that mysterious room, Dottore does not want you to go in there, and it’s a good thing that you held yourself back from peeking into that room.

Dottore places his hand on your shoulders and guides you out to the botanical garden. Once you two arrive at the botanical garden, Dottore releases you from his grasp, and you stick yourself between Diluc and Al Haitham, holding onto both of their arms tightly. Diluc and Al Haitham look over at each other in confusion after noticing your strange silence.

“Are you okay?” Al Haitham asks, placing his hand on the small of your back.

You shake your head and squeeze their arms. “Can we go home?” You suddenly ask.

Thoma looks over at you in confusion. “You want to leave already?” Thoma asks, looking over at the others in bewilderment.

You nod your head. “I have things to study for, and I don’t want to fall behind in my classes.” You lie.

The men notice the strange change in your behavior; before you go to the bathroom, you are excited to catch a glimpse of everything in the Harbingers’ estate. Now that you have returned from the bathroom with Dottore leading you out, you seem a bit shaken up.

“Dottore didn’t do anything to you, did he?” Ayato demands.

You let out a shaky sigh. “No, Dottore didn’t do anything to me.” You squeeze Diluc and Al Haitham’s biceps once more. “Really, though. Can we please go home now?” You beg.

Xiao nods his head. “Let’s go home.”

You and the men slowly made your way out of the botanical garden. Whatever Dottore is hiding in that room, you don’t want to know what’s in it. It can be a laboratory like Albedo’s lab, but the way Dottore said that you made a good choice for not entering the mysterious room sends chills down your spine. Yeah, maybe you did make a good decision not to let your curiosity get the best of you, and maybe this will be the only time you will ever visit the Harbingers’ estate.

Note: To be honest, I didn't know how I was going to type this story out, but I think it turned out pretty decent! I did have another ending to this story, but I changed it up because I have a small feeling that I'll have a few people complain about the reader's stupidity from snooping around, so I didn't type that part out and went with another ending instead. I'm just impressed that I was able to keep up with my posting schedule despite dealing with daily assignments from my university. Anyway, for those who are new or have been here the entire time, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for "Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader" and my overall taglist: @xxkatsusjinsux, @huboi, @crazyrichdaughter, @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff, @patata52, @honeybedo, @thedivinepriestress, @pencil-of-ashes, @samarill, @bakuhve, @yukima, @chaosinanutshell, @emperatris-rinaka, @neilify, @ksjjkthpjm, @jaisithebird, @mouchie, @emerald-smile, @jixlem, @the-blob-fish, @jiminscarmex, @bananazzzen, @thelost-in-time, @kryloxen, @ayolk, @tomansimp, @lordbugs, @c-camellias, @chihawari, @lilliansstuff, @zhongloml, @sweethcnvy, @wolf-chan2134, @simp4-fictional-men, @dai-tsukki-desu, @trash-queen-af, @tamayakii, @stellaris999, @hispasian-otaku, @stygianoir, @crispynutduck (if you have not been tagged, it's because you have your settings turned off for people to tag you in posts)

Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon (hopefully)!

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justmeinadaze · 1 year

Note

Hey i love your fanficion i was wondering could u write about female best friend reader masterbating in her bedroom to the thought of eddie and moaning Eddie's name and shit but what she dosent realise is that eddie has just arrived at her house and is now standing at her bedroom doorway watching her eddie and the female best friend reader end up having sex you can add some of your own ideas in their to I don't mindddd

A/N: I worked on this through out the day <3. It's cold here so I got to lay in bed, writing this, dreaming of bffl Eddie lol. I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Friends to Lovers; Best friend Eddie and Reader :) Lose of virginity. Pretty much everything this lovely person asked for I put in this story. There is a brief mention of Eddie's abuse as a kid in the beginning. Very brief. Word Count: 2694

“Hey Eddie!” Your mom greets the metalhead, leaning in to give him a warm hug.

“Hey Mrs. Y/L/N. I was in the neighborhood with the boys for rehearsal. Thought I’d drop by. Is she here?”

“Oh, of course. She’s in her room. Go ahead.”, she gestures up the stairs. “I was just about to head out to meet some friends for lunch. It’s always good to see you, honey.” You mom rubs her palm comfortingly on his shoulder as she heads out the front door.

You and Eddie had known each other for years, since you were kids. When his dad was making life difficult, he always ran to your place.

You father wipes the blood under 8-year-old Eddie’s nose while you hold his hand.

“I’m going to knock some sense into him.”

“No Mr. Y/L/N! Please. It will just make things worse.”

“Honey, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to.” Your mom came out from the kitchen and handed your father a first aid kit.

“Thank you, Ma’am. He just needs to cool off. Everything will be fine.”

That night he slept over on your bedroom floor. You crawled down to lay next to him, both of you on your sides facing each other. Your sad eyes break his tiny heart.

“I’m okay, Princess.” That was the first time he called you that and it made you smile. He had heard it in a movie he had watched with his uncle and couldn’t wait to say it to a pretty girl himself.

The older you two got the closer you became. Even after he moved in with Wayne and things got slightly better for him, he still spent almost every waking hour with you. You were the only person he ever felt genuinely comfortable with.

Eddie cringes into himself. “Why are we doing this?”

You giggle up at him. “Because we are about to spend four years of high school with these people. We should get to know them.”

“It’s the Harrington’s though.”

“Eddie! It’s not a keg party like in the movies. It’s a birthday social thing. He’s going to be preoccupied talking to everyone anyway.”

“So, again, I ask why are we doing this?”

You smile as you pull him towards the door. You didn’t know it then but that event would trigger a change in your relationship with him for years to come. Eddie was glued to your side the entire night and occasionally you felt his hand graze your arm as if he was still checking you were still next to him.

“Hey! Who wants to play spin the bottle!” Steve Harrington announces to the room. A bunch of girls squeal excitedly as they crowd around him. “Ok, not that I’m complaining but we definitely need more of a mix here.” He points to Eddie. “Dude, come here.”

Eddie’s eyes widen as he shakes his head. You take his hand in yours as you lead him to the group. “Come on. I’ll play with you.” You both sit in the circle as the game begins. He watches your face light up as you laugh along with the other students.

An unfamiliar feeling ignites in his belly. She looks so beautiful when she smiles.

“Ok, Y/N. Your turn.” You playfully sigh as you spin the glass Coke bottle on the ground. It circles around quickly before stopping on your best friend sitting next to you. Eddie and you exchange a glance.

“Well, go on. Kiss the freak.” Jason Carver cackles. You both turn and glare at him.

“Shut up, Carver.”, Steve defends from across the circle. “No one has to kiss anyone they don’t want to.”

Eddie didn’t understand why at the time but that sentence bothered him as well. It’s not that he didn’t want to kiss you. You were his best friend and he just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.

He suddenly felt your soft hands grab his cheeks and pull his lips toward yours. It was a gentle kiss but that feeling that sparked within Eddie, ignited in your stomach as well when his mouth connected with yours. The sound of awes caused him to pull away and a tiny whine escaped at the sudden distance.

From that moment on, you never really looked at him the same and it didn’t help that as the years passed, he got steadily more attractive. He grew out his hair and started dressing more like the metalheads you both watched on MTV. Eddie’s body had stretched out to where he was now towering above you with his broad shoulders that the leather jacket he always wore framed him well.

Your heart fell when he spent the night at your house and he casually mentioned losing his virginity.

“It was really weird at first but then felt really good.” His hands were behind his head as he laid on his back on the air mattress from his spot on the floor.

“Oh?” You were thankful he couldn’t see your face but prayed he wouldn’t hear the heartbreak in your tone.

“Yeah…”, he pauses for a moment before he speaks to you again. “Have you, um…?”

You force out a laugh. “Eddie, don’t you think I would have told you if I had?”

“Princess, you need to get out there. You are so beautiful and sweet. You have a lot to offer a guy.”

You smile into the darkness. “I mean, there’s a guy I’ve liked for a while but…it’s complicated.”

Eddie had other partners since then but no relationship ever stuck. You did try going on a few dates but none of them made you feel the way your best friend did.

He made his way up the steps heading for your room but paused at the top of the stairs when he heard what sounded like moaning. Eddie took cautious steps till he reached your door that was open just a crack. His breathing stuttered slightly at the display in front of him.

You were sprawled out on your bed in one of his shirts that was baggy on your tiny frame. One of your hands was between your legs, moving under your cotton panties while the other massaged your breast underneath his shirt. Your eyes were squeezed shut as your tongue ran across your bottom lip.

Absent mindedly her reached down and started palming his groin through his jeans. The sound of your moans was the prettiest sound he had ever heard.

“Eddie.”

He froze at the sound of his name. Had he heard you correctly? Or did he just hear what he wanted to hear?

“Eddie, baby, please. Faster.” Your fingers began pumping faster into your core.

The wood creaks as he leans his forehead against your door frame making you jump and immediately withdraw your hand.

“No! Wait!” He enters your room, closing the door gently behind him. “Please. Keep going.” Your eyes follow his as he comes to sit at the end of your bed. When you don’t move, he slowly reaches for your ankle, pulling you leg back flat against the mattress. “Please.”, he begs again.

You swallow nervously, sliding your other leg back to its original position. You glide your hand under the waistband of your panties, grazing your clit before pushing your middle finger back into your entrance.

Eddie groans as his own hand comes back rub against his cock that was now practically begging to be released from its denim prison.

“Is… is that all you can fit? One finger?” You shake your head, whimpering as you insert your ring finger into your now dripping hole. Eddie moans as he sees the glistening slick between your legs. He hesitantly reaches his hand towards you again. “Is it ok if we take these off?”

You hold your breath as his fingers grab the top of your underwear, nodding your head in his direction. He slides them down your legs and tosses them to the floor. With his palm, he pushes your thigh opening your legs further apart.

“Fucking hell, Sweetheart.” Without being prompted, you reinsert your fingers into your pussy. “Do you, um,” Eddie licks his lips as his eyes flick up to yours for a moment. “Do you want some help?”

You swallow down a moan as you nod. He reaches out with his thumb, grazing your clit as he firmly rubs circles against it.

“Eddie.”

God, if hearing you moan his name like that was the last sound he ever heard, he would still die a happy man. His eyes watch your face as he reaches down with one hand to unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants, and pull out his cock. He runs his tongue down his palm before he leans back down to stroke himself.

You feel your mouth water at the sight of him. “Eddie, oh my god.” Your thrust your fingers faster into your pussy. “You’re so big. Fuck. I want to feel you inside of me.”

He mewled as his head fell between your legs, pushing your hand out of the way as his mouth wrapped around nub. You cried out at the unexpected but welcome intrusion. Tangling your hands in his hair, you held onto him as he devoured you. His head and tongue moved quickly as your eyes rolled back.

“Just like that, Eddie. Please. Oh my god. Yes!”

Both his palms came up to hold your legs open as he felt your body shutter. You moaned his name as you came on his lips and he welcomed the taste of you.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and crawled up your body, placing kisses on your forehead down to your cheeks. “Can I kiss you?”

A smile spreads across your face as you open your eyes to look up at him. “I think we’re past the point of you needing to ask.”

Eddie’s lips hover over yours. “I know. I just like hearing you tell me you want something like that from me.”

Your hand comes up to caress his cheek. “Yes, Eddie. You can kiss me.”

As soon as his mouth met yours, you were thrust back to that moment playing spin the bottle. Those butterflies came back into your stomach and when he lifted his head again to look down at you, you knew he felt it to.

“Make love to me, Eddie.”

He let out a shaky sigh, climbing off of you as he sat upright on the end of your bed. “Have you done that before?” He can’t hide the moan that leaves him when you say no.

“I’ve never met anyone that made me feel the way you do.”

He chuckles under his breath as his eyes shift to his feet. “I never in a million years that you would want a freak like me.”

You grip his chin and turn his head to face you. “Eddie Munson, you are not a freak.”

You lean your lips to his and he deepens your kisses, reaching his hands up to cup your face. Eddie grabs the bottom of your shirt, lifting it over your head. His eyes scan down your now completely naked form.

“So gorgeous.”

“What about you?”, you ask as you run your hand over his chest. He rises from your bed, undressing as quickly as he can. “Do you have anything?”

“Uhhhhh…” He circles around his feet looking for the jeans he just tossed aside making you laugh. “Ah!” Eddie tugs on the chain until his wallet comes into view. He pulls out a condom, placing it between his teeth before tossing his stuff back on the ground.

You lean your chin on his shoulder after he hops back on to the bed, watching him as he tears at the wrapper and slides the rubber over his cock. “Do you want me to…?”

“Oh, no, Princess. Trust me, watching you got me rock hard. I, uh, I want to feel you.”

You chew on your bottom lip as you blush. Eddie smiles at you, gently pushing you back on your pillows as he crawls on top of you.

“Are you ready?” You nod, circling your arms around him as you cling to his shoulders. His lips trace your jawline, down to your neck. His voice comes out gruff against your ear. “Can you say it?”

You turn your face close to his. “I’m ready for you, Eddie.”

He moaned as he guided himself through your folds and into your entrance. His hips were pumping into you slowing as he pushed his cock in inch by inch. You whimpered as you felt him pull out and then push deeper inside of you. One particular thrust made you groan in pain and Eddie’s head lifted up to look down over your face.

“Is it too much?”

“No. No, I’m okay. It’s…”, as he hits a spot deep inside you, your eyes close as your mouth opens into an O. “Eddie, don’t stop. It’s starting to feel really good.”

“Baby, you keep moaning my name like that, I’ll do anything you ask me.” He began pumping his hips a little faster. “Can I ask you something?” You nod as your nails scratch down his back. “Hey, look at me.”

You open your eyes as much as you can to meet his. Eddie’s lips hover over yours as he whispers, “Is this what you thought about when you were touching yourself? Me fucking you deep like this? Tell me, Princess. I want to make all of your fantasies come true.”

An almost obscene moan echoes from your throat as your pussy tightens around him at his words. His eyes fall shut as his forehead meets your own. “What did you say before I interrupted you? Harder?” His pace slowed as he thrust into you, his hips smacking against yours.

“Eddie!”

“That’s it, Sweetheart. Say my name like that as you cum. Please. It sounds so fucking sexy coming out of your mouth. It drives me crazy.”

His head dropped into your neck as you clung to him, trying to get him as close to your body as you could. The coil in your stomach snapped and you shouted out his name as you came around him. His rhythm picked up pace again as your body trembled underneath him. You continued to whisper his name into his ear as he grunted against you.

You felt his hips sputter and after a few more lazy thrusts he came into the condom. Eddie gently pulled out of you, removing the protection, and throwing it into the trash by your bed. He fell to your side, his nose pressed against your face. His arm wrapped around your chest as the pad of his thumb caressed your other cheek.

“Are you okay?”

You roll on your side to face him, slinging your arm over him. “Yeah. That was…amazing.” He flashed you a soft smile as his thumb came down to graze your lips. “Was I good? I mean…I know you’re more experienced than I am.”

Eddie’s eyebrows knitted together like when he was doing Math homework. “First of all, I’ve only been with like two girls. I wouldn’t say that’s ‘experienced’. You make it sound like I’m Gene Simmons or something.” Your laugh makes his own smile grow. “Secondly, I’ve never experienced anything like that. This was different. You’re different. There’s a reason you’re my best friend.”

You lean over and kiss his lips, giggling as he pulls you on top of him. You glance over at the clock on your bedside table. “Oh shit. My parents will be home soon. They love you but my dad will kill you if he sees us like this.” Eddie chuckles as you roll off of him, reaching on the floor to get his clothes.

“Hey, um, I guess we’re kind of doing this backwards but do you want to come grab a bite to eat with me?”

“Eddie, are you asking me out on a date?”

He grins as he leans over and places a peck on your forehead. “Something I should have done a long time ago.”

#eddie munson #eddie fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn stranger things #fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie x reader #eddie x y/n #eddie x fem!reader #writing requests

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ladyluscinia · 7 months

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hi i had something i was confused about and i was wondering if you could help! so when izzy shoots himself in the head, does he do it with the intention of killing himself except he misses? or does he purposely trick ed? genuinely i couldn’t figure out what they were trying to imply there, and you are a literal god at meta analysis, so i thought i’d ask :)

Anon that is a great question and I have thoughts.

Short answer: I have watched that scene several times now and I'm still not 100% on what's going down there!

Now for the long answer... 🤔

I am confident that Izzy puts the gun to his head with intention. He's not trying to trick Edward - not in the least because I don't think he's mentally there enough to think ahead. Izzy just got abruptly woken up post-amputation for one of the most emotionally fraught conversations of his life. The guy is probably delirious from bloodloss, pain, and hopefully something he was given for the pain (though since Frenchie's first aid kit didn't make it down... maybe not 😬).

I think he's there enough to put together that his last ditch attempt to pull Edward out of all this failed. To feel the frankly overwhelming emotional snarl of anger / distress / love that gets him to point the gun at Edward and then send him away. He's laying in that bed realizing horribly that fucked doesn't begin to cover it and Edward is going to spiral further and further until he dies, but I doubt he feels like he can DO anything about it - even if he wasn't freshly down a leg.

That's why he lifts the gun. That's why Edward isn't surprised to hear it fire.

But why doesn't it hit?

So I have two equally plausible theories. I'm figuring they are going to have to circle back to two of their main three characters attempting suicide on screen, so Izzy will probably say something in the future that narrows it down. (For now, I personally prefer the second one.)

So, Theory #1 is that Izzy survived purely on accident. Or by fate. You can see his hand drop and the gun slip upward just before he pulls the trigger. As previously established, my guy is going through it mentally and physically. It is fully within the realm of possibility that he didn't have the strength to keep his hand steady and it saved his life while knocking him out instead. Then later he wakes up and (probably still somewhat delirious) decides that apparently life isn't done with him yet and he needs to go put a stop to whatever murder-suicide Edward is trying to enact.

Theory #2 is that - at the last second - Izzy changed his mind.

Thematically this is interesting. There's a post going around about how even in the darkest depths Edward still has a spark of himself that wants to live, and parallels this with Stede getting confronted "Do you want to live?!?" in S1. I can't endorse this post because the author is an Izzy hater who sidebars in the middle to go "btw this is all Izzy's fault, the evil bastard" but it's an interesting parallel. Especially if you take a sympathetic read of Izzy also going to pull the trigger into account.

Maybe Edward and Izzy (and Stede) want to live just a little more than they want to die, even when the situation seems unbearable. Maybe Edward's drive manifests in giving the crew chance after chance to stop him when they could never stop a bullet in the middle of the night, and in trying to untie the ropes even before he hears Stede waiting for him, and Izzy's...?

Well, maybe Izzy's drive manifests in jerking the gun down just before it fires.

#our flag means death #izzy hands ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd 2x02 #tw suicide #ask #anon #ladyluscinia

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 19 days

Text

Steve sat in the empty classroom, wishing for the pain to go away. The bat bites were killing him. He popped on the teacher's desk, facing away from the door. He was supposed to be helping with the 'earthquake' relief efforts and help sort through the clothing, but his wounds were flaring up. He just needed a minute. Of course, the door had to open.

"Steve?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah?" He asked without turning around.

"We wanted to talk to you," Jonathan's came from behind him.

"Yeah, okay," Steve said. "I, uh, just needed a break."

He hoped Jonathan wouldn't punch him for telling Nancy how he felt. That would suck because over the last couple of days, Steve came to the realization that it wasn't just Nancy he had feelings for, but Jonathan as well. He didn't even know he liked guys. They all just managed to save the world. Couldn't they wait a few more days before rejecting him? They walked around the desk, and he tried not to wince as he shifted.

"Hey," Steve said. "What's up?"

Was he being too casual or not causal enough? Did he always have a squeak in his voice?

"So, Nancy told me about the dream you had," Jonathan said.

"Oh God," Steve said and closed his eyes. "It's okay. Go ahead, punch me. I deserve it. I just thought we're going to die, and I didn't want to die without telling her. . . "

"Steve!" Nancy laughed. "It's nothing bad."

"At least, I hope not," Jonathan laughed. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"Well, not yet. If I'm going to be honest here, I want to tell you that there's more to the dream," Steve said.

"Yeah?" Jonathan asked. "Tell us."

"It wasn't just Nancy there. I saw you there too," Steve said softly. "And I totally get it if you guys think this is weird - "

"Thank God!" Jonathan and Nancy exclaimed.

"Huh?" Steve asked.

"We actually came in here to ask you if I could be a part of it too," Jonathan said as he placed his hand on Steve’s thigh.

"Yeah?" Steve asked, his cheeks turning red.

Jonathan cupped his cheek and leaned into closer to him. Steve leaned into his touch, and for a moment, he had forgotten about his pain. Jonathan's hands moved to his back, and one hand went to his hip, brushing against his stomach. Steve hissed and held his stomach, wincing at the pressure on his back.

"Steve?" Jonathan asked.

"Are you in pain?" Nancy asked.

"I'm fine," Steve winced.

"Is it your bat bites?" Jonathan asked.

"Take your shirt off," Nancy said.

"Jeeze, Nance, right here on school property?" Steve asked.

"Shirt. Off," Nancy demanded, and Steve sighed.

"Can you help?" He asked.

Nancy and Jonathan smiled at him before kissing both of his cheeks. Their hands moved to the bottom of his Henley and carefully pulled it off of him.

"It looks like your bandages need to be changed," Nancy said and bent down to look in the drawers. "Yes! First aid kit!"

Jonathan had started to take off the bandages and knelt to take a closer look at the bites.

"Jesus, Nance, you didn't say they were this bad," Jonathan said. "The road rashes too. . . How do you sleep, man?"

"Painfully," Steve said.

Nancy moved to study his bites with Jonathan. Steve tried not to think about how close the bites were or the fact that they were both eye level with his crotch. Suddenly, the door burst open, and Jonathan looked around Steve to find Joyce standing there.

"Jonathan, do you know - oh, honey, I'm not judging you for who you're with, but is this really the time and place for that?" Joyce asked.

"Mom! It's not what it looks like!" Jonathan exclaimed.

"We're just taking care of him," Nancy said, looking around his other side.

"Oh, honey, I was young once," Joyce said. "I've "taken care" of a couple of guys in my day. . .and one girl."

"Mom! That's not what - " Jonathan said.

"They just can't keep their hands off me, Joyce!" Steve said, cheerfully.

"Well, I'm glad you three have figured things out. Stay safe!" Joyce said and paused. "Do you guys need any condoms?"

"Oh my God, Mom!" Jonathan groaned, his face red. "Just leave!"

"Oh, baby, she just wants to make sure that I don't get you pregnant before you're ready. She's a good mom," Steve grinned at Jonathan.

Joyce laughed as she left the room. Jonathan glared at Steve.

"Yeah, thanks for helping with that, man," Jonathan said as he and Nancy started to freshen up his bandages.

"You're the one who wants me," Steve laughed.

"Starting to regret it now," Jonathan said, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "And really, you joke about the whole baby thing, but who knows what these bat bites did to you."

"Well, in that case, it's more likely that you're going to get me pregnant," Steve said and put his hand on his chest. "I'd bet you do it really good too."

"Yeah. . .you think I'd fill you up really well?" Jonathan asked, looking at him shyly.

"Please, I am trying to focus here," Nancy said as she finished bandaging him up. "Alright, let's get you home and get you into bed."

"I like how this is going," Steve grinned.

"You've been over working yourself. You need rest, which means no funny stuff," Nancy said.

"Can I watch you guys do funny stuff?" Steve asked.

"Will it get you into bed?" Nancy asked.

"Maybe," Steve pouted.

Nancy shared a look with Jonathan, and he nodded, smiling.

"Didn't think you guys would say yes. Should I get hurt more often?" Steve asked.

"No!" Jonathan and Nancy exclaimed.

Jonathan cupped the back of Steve’s neck and kissed him deeply. Steve sighed happily, enjoying the way Jonathan's lips felt against his. They were so soft. . . Jonathan pulled away, and Nancy's lips took his place. There was a lot more pressure, and Steve enjoyed the familiar feeling of Nancy's lips against his. Nancy kissed him eagerly, and Steve smiled when he realized what she was doing. She pulled back and smiled triumphantly when she saw him grinning widely.

"That's cute, but you don't need to compete to see who's the better kisser," Steve teased.

"I wasn't - that's not what I was doing," Nancy blushed.

"Yes, you were," Steve said. "But that's okay."

"Yeah, we actually do like that about you," Jonathan said.

They helped Steve put his shirt on and then wrapped their arms around his waist as they helped him up. They walked him out of the room and down the hallway towards the front door, where they ran into Robin.

"Are you guys kidnapping my platonic Steve?" Robin asked.

"They're taking me home, and then I'm going to watch them have sex," Steve said.

"Oh, okay," Robin said, and they quickly pulled him away. "Wait. . .what?!"

"What are we going to do with you?" Nancy asked as they walked outside with him.

"Keep me forever?" Steve asked.

"Well, when you inflate your eyes like that and stick out your lip, we really have no choice," Jonathan said.

"Is that your mom?" Steve asked.

Joyce was in the parking lot, shoving Hopper into her car and getting onto him for overexerting himself.

"Jesus, you're just like Hopper, Steve," Nancy said.

"Well, if I'm like Hopper, then you're like Joyce, and that means Jonathan fell for two people who are similar to both of his parents," Steve said and Nancy giggled.

"Oh my god!" Jonathan exclaimed. "I'm going to need some purple palm tree delight! Oh! Purple palm tree delight! I'm an idiot!"

"You're cute, though," Steve said, and he pulled away from him to run towards Argyle's van parked in the parking lot. "He's even cuter when he runs. Look at that perky little ass go, and I can say that outloud with you now."

Nancy turned her face into his chest and giggled. Jonathan and Argyle talked for a little while before Argyle hugged him tightly before putting something into his pocket. Jonathan ran back to them, putting his arm around Steve.

"I, uh, got you something to help with the pain," Jonathan said.

"Thanks, baby," Steve said. "You're so good to me."

Much later, after smoking weed and watching his partners perform for him in a weed fueled ecstasy, they collapsed beside him. They surrounded him on either side, and Steve felt content, complete. The pain had resided, and maybe it was the weed's doing, but Steve knew in his heart that it had been them who scared away the pain. They held him carefully between them with Nancy's hand over his waist, holding his chest with her hand over his heart. Jonathan ran his fingers through his hair, humming quietly while his other hand caressed his naked thigh. Steve fell asleep to the sound of his humming and the sound of Nancy's breathing as she started to fall asleep as well. Everything was coming together, and this what they had both wanted when they had first been together, whether they had realized it or not. This, right here, was Steve’s dream.

#stranger things #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler x steve harrington #stancy #nancy wheeler x jonathan byers #jancy #steve harrington x jonathan byers #stonathan #nancy wheeler x steve harrington x jonathan byers #stoncy #bisexual steve harrington #bisexual jonathan byers #pansexual nancy wheeler #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things oneshot #rueleigh writes

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xchxsex · 2 months

Text

Mending Your Pain: Mark Hoffman NSFW

AN: Ive had this written for a while but I’ve never uploaded on here before and tbh i don’t think my work is up to par with other creators. I thought id give it a shot though. I have more of the series posted on my instagram which is the same as my tumblr.

TW: light blood play, degrading, praise, rough sex, oral (m and f receiving)

I wake up to a rustling sound in my living room. I turn to look at my clock. Jeez, its 2 am, what could be going on?

I get up and begin to walk out my bedroom door. I hear a familiar groan in the hallway. “Mark?,” i ask to the darkness in front of me.

I find the light switch and flick it on. He’s standing there, a gash on his forehead, a busted and bleeding nose and a busted lip. Thats just what i can see.

“Hey princess,” he says as i run to him.

He’s holding his side and is clearly in pain. “What happened?”

“A call didn’t go so well. He had some friends i didn’t know about and i didn’t have backup.”

I go to touch his side and he groans.

“Shouldn’t you be at a hospital?”

He’s breathing heavy.

“I probably should, but my princess always makes me feel better.”

I smile. I still think he should go to the doctor but maybe i can help. Ive been trained in some medical stuff which he probably already knows. “Here ill take a look.”

I take him back to my bedroom and sit him in my chair.

“You look good in my shirt baby,” he says.

I forgot i was wearing it. I put it on the night before because i missed him and wanted to feel comforted by him.

I go and get my first aid kit and my sewing kit incase i need it. I come back in and he’s sitting with his legs spread open, slumped down in my chair, smiling at me. I know he’s trying to get me going.

First, i check his nose and make sure it isn’t broken. When i touch it he grunts a little.

“Its not broken but it’ll definitely be bruised,” i tell him.

I take a wipe and wipe the blood from his nose and put a bandage on it. His lip will have to heal on its own but i can at least clean it up.

As i lean over and wipe his lip, he’s looking me deep into my eyes, his hands working their way up my back. He’s making me nervous.

I swallow back my emotions and continue to clean up his lip. Its his head that I’m worried about. I rinse it out with saline solution and dab it with gauze. I don’t think it’ll close up on its own.

“I think you’re gonna need a few stitches, can you handle that?,” i ask.

I look him in his eyes.

“Yeah, i can handle that. I have a high pain tolerance, go ahead,” he says in a certain kind of voice.

I open up my kit and grab a needle and thread. I get it ready and grab my lighter to sterilize it. As I’m about to loop it through the gash, his hand goes and sits on my ass.

“Just looking for something to squeeze if it hurts too bad.”

I roll my eyes at him. He grabs my throat and forces me to look at him.

“You wanna do that again?,” he says with a look in his eyes that he’ll make my eyes roll in a different way if i keep on.

“N-no… sir” i say.

He releases my throat and i can actually do what i need to. I get it looped through the first part and he’s squeezing my ass. I knew he was going to even if it didn’t hurt.

I continue with the stitches until i get most of it closed. When i get to the last stitch, i pull it all together and knot the end. I cut the thread and dab it with more cleaning solution.

“Okay, its all done,” i say.

I move and turn away from him for a second. I hear him stand up.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?,” i hear him say.

I turn back around to face him. I don’t know why he’s making me feel so nervous, like I’m a teenager facing my crush in a school hallway.

He’s taking off his jacket and lays it on the chair. The shirt he’s wearing is tight and conforms to his figure. Bits around his neck and armpits have sweat stains. I swallow again, holding back the throbbing thats begun below. He lifts his shirt up and pulls it off. I notice the giant purple and blue blotch that contains the pain he’s feeling. I notice other things that keep my eye focused on him.

His pants have slightly fallen to where i can see his v line leading to something i want so badly right now. What i would give to trace it with my tongue. His body is glistening with sweat in the path of my light.

“Aren’t you gonna come look at it?,” he says as he walks towards me.

He’s borderline on top of me, his broad frame making him seem bigger.

“S-sure,” i say, still not looking up at him.

I put my hands on his side and press around. He groans, not in enough pain to have an injury; just a giant bruise.

“I think you’re okay,” i say.

Im still admiring his body, the ways his muscles contort under his skin and thickness when he moves. My eyes move to his waist and hips, a perfect place for my legs to be wrapped around.

“Actually, i think i have some cuts on my thighs,” he says as he starts undoing his belt.

My insides and clit are throbbing like the beat to a metal song. He takes off his belt and steps out of his pants. I do notice some minor cuts on his thighs, but what i really notice is hard to look away from.

He’s wearing tight, dark blue underwear that conform to his hips and thighs and… him, greatly. Him. His cock is hard and going down his leg, twitching every now and then, like its begging to be emptied inside me. Im sure my face is flushed and my legs are shaking. He wants me to give in and break, but i wont. Not now.

“You should be fine, they’re just little scratches,” i say.

“Hm, maybe you should check my back then.”

He turns around like he knows he’s breaking me. He is, but he doesn’t have to know that. His back. God, his back. It’s sculpted and firm. The muscles he uses to carry me and throw me around like a rag-doll. My eyes move further down to his ass which is being held nicely in the underwear. Theres maybe one tiny scratch on his back.

“Your back is fine,” i tell him.

He turns around to face me. He’s looking at me, pondering whats going through my mind right now. He puts his hand on the desk beside my leg that hes now backed me up onto.

“Let me guess… you don’t want to give in and say that you were looking at my body and all of the dirty things it does to you. You think that you’re stronger than your urges for me and you want to try to make a point?,” he says while looking in my eyes.

Theres the nervousness again. I don’t have to respond, my face says it all. He takes my hand and puts it to his chest and slowly runs it down his body, my fingers pressing into his warm flesh.

He keeps going slowly until he gets to the band of his underwear. He starts to pull down his underwear using our hands. I don’t know how much longer i can take.

My insides are begging me to give up and let him take me but i want to hold out. He pulls his underwear down past his cock and it springs out. He lets out a breathy moan in my ear. He has a drop of pre cum dripping down his tip, still throbbing in sync with my insides. God i cant speak anymore, all i can do is stand here and let out little whines like a dog begging for food. I need the pleasure only he can give.

“Hmm, I’m impressed princess. But we both know you cant handle the way i touch you.”

He runs his nails gently up my thigh, his hand spreading to cup my thigh at the top. I cant break eye contact with his cock. He tilts my chin up to look at him, I’m biting my tongue.

“I know, its hard to not look at. Its big and makes you feel so good doesn’t it? You like the way I throb while I empty myself inside you?,” he says as he tucks my hair behind my ear.

It feels like I can’t breathe. I can’t- i cant do it anymore. I can’t think about anything but having him inside of me, releasing the tension thats built inside me.

“Please..” I whimper.

I run my hands up and down his body.

“Please what?,” he says, his hand going up my back. He moves closer so that his cock is resting on my thigh.

“I need you to- to take me,” i say, unable to form my words right.

“Hmm, i don’t understand?,” he says as he brushes my hair away and starts kissing my neck. “Do you want me baby?,” he whispers in my ear.

Thats it. I wrap my legs and arms around him, grinding onto his leg. He grabs my throat and squeezes.

“Tell me that you want me, get on your fucking knees and beg for me,” he groans. He backs off of me and i get down on my knees. He rubs his tip on my lip and i taste his salty pre cum.

“I want you inside of me,” i hear myself say,” i want to trace the dips of your muscles with my tongue,” i add on, hoping that he’ll give me something that will stop me from soaking my underwear.

He looks down at me and licks his lip. “Then go right ahead.”

Sometimes the way he looks at me, it tells me he could never say no to me. He loves the feeling of my mouth around his cock. You know what? He deserves to be teased too. I don’t take his cock in my mouth. I pull down his underwear and kiss on his thighs leading up to his stomach. I lick a streak up the contour of his v line. I look up and his jaw is tense. I’m getting somewhere.

His hand goes on the back of my head and presses me closer to him. I need him just as badly as he needs me.

“I suggest you put it in your mouth before i shove it in,” he says.

I give into him. I take him in my hand and put his tip in my mouth. I swirl my tongue around it, but i have a different plan. I know where his sensitive spot is. I move underneath his cock where his tip meets his shaft. I gently suck on that and his hands instantly grab onto my head.

“Fuck,” he groans before he pulls my head away entirely. His cock throbs. Guess he couldn’t handle it.

“You couldn’t handle me sucking your cock?,” i say in a tone that will definitely come back to haunt me later.

“Oh ill teach you a lesson on not being able to handle something.” He pulls me up by the throat and takes me to the bed. “You’ve barely seen what my tongue can do to you. I already can make you break so easily. I will end you this time.”

He lays me down and pulls off my underwear, pulling up my shirt enough to expose my breasts. He puts his mouth to my hole and i cant even describe what he does.

He starts to suck and lick and kiss and bite all at once it feels like. The pleasure is so intense my back arches, i grab onto him and try to push him away. He’s holding onto me tightly. I cant get away from him. I shouldn’t have teased him.

My hips squirm without me even trying to. My legs are shaking as he holds them down. The combination of how sensitive my clit is from being so fucking turned on and what he’s doing with his mouth is so intense. Im flooding his mouth and he doesn’t stop, he’ll never stop. Every time i cum i get more and more sensitive.

“Please,” i beg and whimper over and over again.

He keeps going for what feels like forever. I’ve lost count of the orgasms just from his mouth. My body keeps reacting to the movements of his tongue, but i feel like I’m going to pass out again. My tight grip on his hair has gotten to me just resting my hands on his head. My body is aching for more. The muscles in my thighs can’t tighten around his head anymore.

When i stop begging for mercy, he finally stops. His face slick and glistening with my juices. He crawls on top of me and makes me look him in the eye with a firm grip on my chin.

“Do you understand me?,” he asks.

I make out a breathy “yes”. I just realized we haven’t even had sex yet and I’m already so worn out.

“Don’t worry princess, ill be gentle.”

I still want him inside me, i just don’t know how much i can handle. He slides into me and i let out a whine. He pulls up my legs to rest on his shoulders. He holds my hips as he slowly thrusts into me. His mouth falls slightly open as small moans escape from his lips. He brushes my hair behind my ear out of my face.

“I like fucking you in my shirt, you look so pretty and ruined in it.” His thrusts start to speed up little by little.

Soon he starts doing that final thrust that feels incredible. The way he curls his hips just a bit at the end drives me wild. I don’t even care if i cum again tonight, i just want his cum inside me. I crave it.

He kisses me and i taste the blood on his lips. It sounds gross, but it only makes me want him more. Soon we’re wrapped around each other, kissing, sweating, begging for each other. I bite his busted lip and he groans. His cock throbs in me. Maybe he secretly likes pain a little too.

I taste his fresh blood in my mouth. His hand goes around my throat and breaks the kiss. He stops thrusting. He wipes his lip off with his thumb.

“Open your mouth,” he demands.

I open my mouth and he rubs his blood stained thumb on my tongue. Maybe I’m as fucked up as he is. I suck the rest of his blood off. He smiles down at me.

“God you’re a dirty girl aren’t you?”

“Only for you,” i tell him.

He kisses me harshly and starts thrusting even faster. “Dirty girls make me want to fill their insides with my cum.”

Im moaning for him again. “Please cum inside me,” i beg.

“Yeah? You haven’t had a load inside of you in a little while. Maybe thats why you’re so fucking tight around me. Your body wants my cum that bad?” His thrusts are getting sloppy. His moans are getting louder.

I want him to cum so badly. He’s holding onto me so tightly. “God you’re gonna fucking make me cum,” he accidentally whimpers.

He’s never made such a noise but it makes my insides quiver. The vein in his forehead pops out and his jaw tenses. He’s so close. I think i know how to get him to cum.

“Cum inside me daddy,” I whisper in his ear.

He groans and throbs as he finishes in me. I squeeze his cock tightly and milk him dry. He paints my walls with his warm seed until he’s empty. His hand goes around my neck.

“Call me that one more fucking time and ill make it the last thing you say before you get my cock rammed down your throat.” He knows he secretly likes it when i do it.

He pulls out of me and his cum pours out, gushing down my ass and off the bed. He grabs his clothes and puts them back on, wincing if something hits his side.

I slide off of the bed and stand like a newborn deer. My legs are shaking so badly and his cum is still dripping down my leg.

“I have some work to do. Ill come back and see you when I’m done.”

I walk over to him and he holds me up by my waist. He kisses me and i feel like i know what work he has to do. Whether its with that john guy or his police work, he always kisses me like it could be our last.

“Thank you for taking care of me princess. I have one request,” he says.

“What?” He grabs my underwear and hands them to me.

“You put these on and sleep in the mess i made inside you.” I listen to him and put my underwear back on.

“Good girl. I love you,” he says as he puts me in bed and tucks me in before leaving.

#mark hoffman #mark hoffman edit #costas mandylor #detective mark hoffman #mark hoffman saw #saw fanfic #saw films

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