#^ the most bisexual sentence i could possibly say

[pippin-katz]

“We knew that if Taylor and Nick didn’t feel safe, we would never have gotten that scene out of them.”

I've reread this interview a couple times, and the last sentence hit me differently. My entire chest expanded. I’ve been blabbering on and on about Taylor and Nicholas having to do intimate choreography, and it still blows me away that they did, but that comment is so sweet.

They felt safe. They felt safe with each other. They felt safe with Matthew and Robbie. They were able to perform the most beautiful and romantic sex scene I’ve ever witnessed because they felt safe.

I can't stress the use of the word "safe" enough.

It's impossible to know what they were thinking while filming, but I can imagine that they occasionally got those instinctive nerves, but they were able to keep filming because they trusted each other that much. They could think to themselves: "he's got me".

That is the sweetest, most wholesome thing ever.

Nicholas and Taylor are such close friends and care so much about each other that they're able to do this kind of scene. They know the other would never do anything to make them uncomfortable. They have to be completely vulnerable, but they're okay with that because they trust each other that much. That is such an incredible friendship, and a truly special bond.

It also occurred to me that that trust and safety they felt is probably part of why it feels as intimate as it does. The point of the scene is to show how far Alex and Henry have come in their relationship that they trust each other to do that.

Henry’s unable to “belong to someone else” except for a moment, and he has fallen so in love and trusts Alex so much to give himself to him in literally the most intimate way possible, even if it’s temporary. Alex has never done any of this before, considering he hadn’t truly considered his bisexuality before Henry, and obviously hasn’t had this kind of sex, but he feels comfortable enough with Henry to tell him that he’s nervous and trusts Henry will make sure everything goes right. I mean Henry literally says “trust me, you’re in good hands”, and Alex does.

Trust and safety is literally part of the characters' journeys in that scene. Nick and Taylor's real life trust in each other can provide a genuine base to build off of for Alex and Henry's.

God I wish they could do interviews, I want to hear them talk about it more (if they’re willing). They talked about it somewhat in the pre-conducted interviews, but not to the extent Matthew is in this. Obviously they don’t have to if they’re not comfortable sharing though.

I think this makes me feel so much because I'm personally demisexual and demiromantic, so emotional bonds are very important to me, in general. It's my heart's desire to find someone to love and trust that much, platonically and/or romantically.

PS: Just to be absolutely clear, this is not about shipping Nick and Taylor!! I'm just gushing about their bond with each other! I'm not trying to imply they are romantically involved in any way!

#no one try to take my head off please #i'm autistic and socially inept #this is all in good intentions #i just think they're neat #red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb thoughts #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine #matthew lopez #robbie taylor hunt #rwrb interview

[clarcced]

Chekov's Heart Shaped Gun - An Analysis Of What Love Means In Loki (TV)

What Sylki actually means and why it’s not romantic love. / How S1E3/4 and S2E5 prove that love is who one calls home. / How Lokius will prevail.

Let's begin our analysis in s1e3.

Sylvie says she can’t sleep when another version of themselves is around. She is stronger than most in the show, yet she lacks trust in themselves- then wakes up from her nap a scene later, but alas, her even saying that is interesting. On that note, Sylvie and Loki are variants of each other. It's only fair to say that they basically have the same trust issues.

Mobius is a trustworthy person overall but to a Loki that’s near impossible to come by as it seems. Loki sleeps soundly with Mobius literally across him, considering the fact that he too couldn't sleep around an untrustworthy person. He trusts Mobius, even before he met Sylvie.

Moving on, Loki takes the glasses offered to them on the train and drinks both upon Sylvie’s refusal to drink hers. The glasses and their contents are identical and have a green tint to them- which is symbolism to establish the fact that Loki and Sylvie are in fact the same person- in variance, supported by the cinematography of this scene: mirroring sides.

Loki drinking both can mean three things all together in this context which I transformed into sentences because I lack in English vocabulary:

“See, I am you, you can trust me.” – Which she doesn’t.

“I take what comes my way.” – Loki doesn’t go around looking for love in any shape or form and takes what is thrown at him – resulting in “whim-prone” actions.

“I can have my cake and eat it too.” as in Sylki stuff- which sounds like clumsy and desperate flirting to me, honestly. There is also the element of Loki’s massive ego in this context, which turns into self love and becomes less (self/)destructive as the show progresses throughout S1 and S2.

Why did they address Loki’s bisexuality in the show specifically? Verbal “representation” without context? That’s below this well-thought-out show’s writers.

I keep coming back to the wording.

"Would-be-princesses" - plural, derogatory (as in aspiring to be, but not one) "Another prince" - single, specific

[Note: I saw some people posting that the timeline name of Mobius "Don" means 'prince', but couldn't find that specific definition myself in any online dictionary/baby names site. Best definition I could find was "brown, chief, noble" over on Wikipedia, so for now let's refrain from that specific definiton and focus on what is given to us plain and straight. I'll make this note make sense in the end of this analysis.]

Or could it be perhaps to give them a common ground to stand on? Nope. They don’t stand on that common ground, not even for a minute.

A drink. (Ding ding ding!!!!)

Yes, a drink. When he gets that drink, he sings an Asgaridan (well, Norwegian) song:

In storm-blackened mountains, I wander alone

Across glaciers, I travel forth

In the apple orchard the fair maiden stands

And sings, "When will you come home?"

When she sings, she sings, "Come home."

So who’s the maiden exactly? Loki dedicates the song to Sylvie, but never says it was specifically written for a romantic love interest. Not gonna lie, I might be reaching here, but hear me out: the lyrics can go both ways. They talked about their mother and how Sylvie barely remembers hers. So, Loki, as he is, sings about a traveller coming home to a maiden, possibly his mother or lover, depending on the context at which the song is directed towards.

The only time we see Loki truly helpless against the world is when he mourns his mother. The purest form of love he has ever received, gone. Upon their conversation with Sylvie about what “love” is, Loki disagrees with it being mischief itself, instead takes time and a couple drinks and sings about a fair maiden- his mother calling him home. That is the only type of love he has truly ever felt for another.

Now imagine singing a song about your mother to another variant of yourself. Mommy issues much? Sure. Bad way to flirt? Absolutely. He basically shows Sylvie what he thinks love means to him, but also establishing a connection with Sylvie based on HIS mindset: They are the same. No matter what the maiden represents, a romantic interest or love for a mother, these two variants are of the same kind in the end.

“No. Terrible metaphor.” Sylvie says. Fast forward to 3 episodes later in s1e6 she drops the dagger she holds on Loki’s throat and proceeds to kiss him, says they’re not the same and kicks him back into the TVA.

Being a Loki is not about being a villain and losing every time, it’s about surviving. To survive, they must adapt and adapting they do. They hold hands in s1e4 and a nexus event begins. A Loki, a so-called villain, in league with another Loki. No mischief, just loving each other- by each other by this point I’m talking about THEM as ONE. They easily could’ve kissed right then if their relationship was romantic, but they didn’t. They love themselves in that moment of an approaching apocalypse.

“But I’m not you.” – As the track “Stop” plays.- [The Sylki track that also played in the scene mentioned in the previous panel.]

Loki just wants Sylvie to be okay. He wants his inner mischievous giant to be okay. He wants his inner self to be okay. But Sylvie refuses this. She kisses him BECAUSE she refuses the fact that they can ever be the same or view love the same way. To Sylvie, love is very much real in the shape of a dagger, yet she drops it to the ground, then kisses Loki. Sylvie shows Loki that love is not what Loki thinks it is.

Love is not what Loki thinks it is.

Reality isn't what you think it is. -Loki to Mobius in s2e5

Fast forward to s2e5. Loki is in conflict with himself. – Thus, time slipping.

Everyone is sent back to their HOMES. Loki remains at the TVA when others are back in their original timelines- except Sylvie. She sees that McDonalds life as her home. So, that means, these people were sent to when and where they belonged before the TVA, or in case of Loki and Sylvie their respected new homes- also giving purpose to their belonging to that place- the when, where and why.

In Loki's mind, Mobius's home IS the TVA, his purpose, his 'glorious purpose' if you will. He searches around the TVA where him and Mobius spent their time pacing around or just sitting down to have a key lime pie.

Sylvie says that they are, in fact, Lokis of the same nature.

The acceptance.

Then it turns out it wasn’t about when, where or why. It’s about WHO. Loki could never have that drink because these two variants of the same species, Loki and Sylvie, are on different paths of life and love. Their roads have crossed but went their separate ways in the end.

Home.

It's about who, right? Loki could have found himself beside Sylvie in the McDonald's, easily, if he actually saw her as home. But no. He remained in the TVA, where Mobius once called home- which apparently he does too now. He belongs in the TVA with Mobius and their friends, with or without Sylvie.

This brings us to the smoking love shaped gun.

"Must've been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince."

"Love is... uh, something I might have to have another drink to think about."

2 people close to him offered him the drink he's yet to enjoy: Sylvie and Mobius.

The would-be-princess and the other prince.

"It's about who." Loki says, looking directly at Mobius.

He chooses the prince.

He makes it known to Sylvie at the very end of the episode, slowly turning to her: "I can rewrite the story."

He found his purpose in Mobius. He is the "who" that'll help him rewrite the story of time. He is home.

.

Thank you for sticking around till the end of this one. I appreciate any corrections/reminders of what I've missed or got wrong.

#loki #loki series #loki season 2 #loki laufeyson #lokius #mobius #mobius m mobius #loki s2 spoilers #loki theories #loki analysis #sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

I think I might have made this post before and had no traction but whatever

So: most gender critical people acknowledge two routes to (adult) transition. There’s the ‘HSTS’ route - ‘homosexual transsexual’ individuals, who are typically same sex attracted, and transition to escape external or internalised homophobia - and the ‘AGP(/AAP)’ route - ‘autogynephiliac’ individuals, who are typically opposite sex attracted, and transition as an expression of autoeroticism.

Now if you accept this as true - and I am NOT saying I do, that isn’t the point of this post so no debates around this in the notes please - that suggests that sexual orientation has an impact on motivation to transition. Same sex attraction leads to one motivation, opposite sex attraction leads to another.

What if you experience both. Would that not suggest the potential for a double motivation to transition? Would that not suggest bisexual people are actually more vulnerable to transition than heterosexual or homosexual people?

I mean, maybe people are aware of that possibility - I certainly see a lot of ‘the trans community is full of bisexual people’ comments from gender critical people, but they don’t seem to finish the sentence with “I wonder if that community could be particularly vulnerable to ‘choosing’ these dangerous medical processes, isn’t that concerning”. Weird.

[gwormly]

jojo sexuality headcanons lmao parts 1-3

ive scrounged the internet (well, lightly sifted through and then got bored) for a jojos bizarre adventure sexuality headcanons post that I agreed with completely and I literally could not find any so here’s my opinion that nobody asked for 😘

feel free to argue with me in the comments I’ll probably respond lol

first up Jonathan joestar- straight ally

I think most people can agree that Jonathan is probs the straightest joestar (that I know of, I’ve read up to part 7 but I’ve heard gappy is pretty fucking straight) but yeah he’s straight

He probs doesn’t even fully understand what being not straight is but if someone he knew came out to him he would be very supportive even if he didn’t know what it rlly meant

speedwagon-gay

idk if this is a hot take or not but this man did not have any sort of interest in women and was never married which if he was gay would make since back then bc being not straight wasn’t the norm lmao also there was that one scene in part 2 where Joseph was implying that speedwagon might’ve felt something more than friendship for jonathan so that’s why i think this

(I’m not gonna do dio bc his bisexuality was already confirmed by the one and only araki so that doesn’t rlly need an explanation 😭)

joseph joestar: bicurious (female leaning)

I was scratching my head tryna come up with a sexuality for this fucker and eventually settled for bicurious bc we all know that there was sum going on with him and caesar but also he had a wife whom he cheated on with another woman so I mean

caesar was def his awakening that he might like men but sadly the rocks smashed caesar before Joseph could 😔 also Joseph wears far too many crop tops to be straight like let’s be honest

(bicurious applies to oldseph aswell)

Caesar zeppeli: homoromantic bisexual

dis bro would never date women. but eat them out? Hell fucking yeah

he like dick too tho bc ik damn well if this hoe didn’t get crushed by a rock he would not have a wife like bro what

The words caesar and wife have no business being in the same sentence. Yk this hoe would have a hella 100% Italian husband named like Giuseppe or some shit who would only eat spaghetti for dinner literally every night

this poor dude just wanted some joestarussy but we all know that rocks are homophobic 😔

lisa lisa-lesbian

she’s lesbian bc I said so she married a dude bc she was bored ok I literally do not care what anybody says

look at her

she’s a lesbian

for all the pillarmen it literally depends on the day, like one day they have big buff boyfriends and then a good nights sleep will make them like homophobic superstraights

jotaro kujo: gay demiromantic asexual (sex indifferent)

first off jotaro really does not strike me as the type to think about romantic relationships all that much and definitely does not consider anybody for a romantic relationship upon first meeting them. he needs time to feel something more than platonic. I’ve seen people say that he’s aroace which I do think could be possible but I personally think that he does want love and care wether it be platonic or romantic

asexual just makes sense for him I’m pretty sure the majority of the fandom (not including the homophobic pissbabies) can agree with this. he doesn’t understand how people can just look at someone and feel attracted to them, bro probably discovered asexuality when he saw a meme that he related to and saw the asexual hashtags in the caption bro

also he’s just gay. like there is no way that he likes anybody except men. if this bro wanted a gf he’s got plenty of hoes to choose from. But he didn’t. Also he treats his hoes like shit lmao

and don’t even THINK about bringing up his wife (whom didn’t even have a name cause she was so unimportant, for convenience I’m gonna call her samantha smith) bc you and me both know damn well that samantha smith only exists to continue the bloodline. we also all know damn well that araki would make plot points that contradict against characters to continue the story. people who think jotaro is straight need to get real

noriaki kakyoin: panromantic aceflux

listen I was going to say he was gay but I changed my mind because I really can’t imagine him caring about gender all that much. he does look like a twink tho I can’t deny it

Also araki did actually confirm that kakyoin likes both men and women (he said something along the lines of “I could see kakyoin falling in love with a man” idk I’m too lazy to look up exact wording) but I mean you can take one look at this dude and be able to tell that he is both not straight and has pronouns. I mean look at him

also I’m tired of people characterizing him as the UwU pissbaby fucktoy so he’s aceflux 1. Because I said so and 2. Because it just makes sense idk how to explain it

(ps if I see a kakyoin milf hunter joke in the comments to argue against kakyoin being not straight im going to fire a missile at your house bc telling the same joke for like 15 years isn’t funny luv xx)

polnareff: pansexual

dis bro is desperate. he can’t be affording to care about gender man he’s tried to rizz up like 15 genders and failed at all of them you think he can actually afford to be anything but pansexual? also he fr fr just gives off stereotypical chaotic pansexual vibes

jokes aside tho he def don’t care. aslong as you give him validation you’ve already won him over

muhammad avdol: gay demiromantic demisexual

he don’t really think about it all that much he only realizes if he likes somebody after he’s super close to them definitely. He do have a touch of the gay tho

if you disagree with any of these I would love to hear your headcanons in the comments!/gen

pls no like super heated arguments tho lol

also I might do parts 4-7 in another post cause this was fun asf

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo shitpost #jojo headcanons #jotakak #stardust crusaders #battle tendency #phantom blood #jonathan joestar #joseph joestar #caesar zeppeli #speedwagon jojo #Speedwagon #lisa lisa #jjba #jjba part 1 #jjba part 2 #Jjba part 3 #jotaro kujo #noriaki kakyoin #tenmei kakyoin #jean pierre polnareff #muhammad avdol #jjba shitpost #jjba headcanons #Lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #yes this is an excuse to infodump

[tboygareth]

Characters Out of Context Tag

Rules:

Include one character quote — of your choosing ⁠— from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like)

Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

Have fun, no pressure!

tagged by @eriquin

no pressure tags: @steves-strapcollection (i know you were already tagged i'm doing it again), @patchworkgargoyle, @thefreakandthehair

(not gonna do every chapter bc this fic is sitting at 63k rn, but i'll do a nice handful)

chapter 1 - “The single is ‘Slugger.' Overall it’s the most vague, I think. Just a lot of baseball euphemisms, references to bisexuality, but nothing specific. Just be glad you’re not on social media, it’s all over TikTok already.”

chapter 7 - “What could possibly happen? He’s a rockstar. He could have his pick of anyone. What could he possibly want with me after all these years?”

chapter 8 - “Miles? Christ, I thought you played baseball, not cross country.”

chapter 11 - “Well, if they could shut the fuck up a minute, and leave me the hell alone about who I’m fucking, maybe this wouldn’t happen anymore. It’s a fucking baseball game, not the high school cafeteria. Give me a fucking break.”

chapter 15 - “Would you mind telling me why I had a celebrity gossip rag on my doorstep last month, Steven?”

chapter 18 - “You gonna let me put a baby in you, Harrington?” he asks, pressing himself up along the lines of Steve’s body.

chapter 21 - “Hey, slugger.”

chapter 30 - “Thanks? Are you fucking for real right now? Jesus, Steve!” Eddie throws both his hands up. “I say it, I say it all the fucking time. I say it when you’re asleep, I say it when I talk about you to Wayne, I fucking… write songs about you, add little knights with your face to my Hellfire campaigns, I… Steve, I fucking tattooed my intitals on your ass, and you don’t think it’s genuine?”

#tag games #batter up! #this fic is all im going to be posting about until october WATCH ME #bee's blurbs

[mywhitetennisshoes]

You’re Sweet Ice Cream - Robin x Nancy

———————————————————

Couple: Robin Buckley x Nancy Wheeler

Word count: 1.8K

Tags: fluff, Stranger Things 3, bisexual Nancy Wheeler, lesbian Robin Buckley, Robin is bold tbh

Description: It’s the summer of 1985 and Scoops Ahoy becomes Nancy’s favorite place to go. She develops a crush on the cute girl behind the counter, Robin Buckley.

A/N: heyyyy I got bored and wrote this! It’s really short and basically is Nancy having a crush on Robin. Enjoy! -h

———————————————————————————————————

Summer of 1985

Nancy Wheeler hates the mall. I mean, can you blame her? It’s big, noisy, and it drains your money. Starcourt is also the main cause of every small town store closing down, which means she has to hear all of the men at her newspaper job discussing the mall for hours on end.

Yet, when Mike drags her to the mall so he can buy something D&D related, she doesn’t hate it. He ditches her the moment they walk in, which leaves her to wander alone by herself. Walking past stores like The GAP, Claires, and RadioShack, she spots something across the mall.

Its called Scoops Ahoy. It has a big teal sign that is outlined with red neon lights. It’s packed, as in like, the line is out of the door. This peaks her interest as she joins the back of the line.

She realizes they sell ice cream almost immediately. She should have known considering the name is Scoops…Ahoy. Regardless, she gets up to the front and sees none other than Steve Harrington working the counter.

“Nance, hi, what can I get for you?” She’s thrown off guard as she hasn’t been called Nance by him in a while.

“Uhmm-“ she peers off to the left and the right to look at the different ice cream flavors. “I guess I’ll go with one scoop of…USS Butterscotch.” The end of her sentence sounds like there’s a question mark because what even is USS Butterscotch?

“Ah shit, yeah we just ran out so uh…wait just a second…” he is running towards the back door and opens it as he yells for someone. “Robin, could you hurry up with the USS Butt please?”

Robin? Who’s Robin?

A tall, lanky girl pops her head out of the doorway. She has caramel colored hair that pairs well with the freckles that dot her face. She’s decked out in the same tacky uniform that Steve is wearing, it makes them both look like they work on a really lame ship. Her eyeliner covered eyes pierce Steve’s existence with just one look that says ‘how dare you ask me to hurry up?’ Nancy tracks Robin’s eyes as they lead up to where Nancy is standing. Her eyes immediately soften once they hit Nancy’s face. Her gaze lingers for a moment too long before she ducks inside the back of Scoops Ahoy once again. A few moments later she comes back hauling a huge container of what looks like USS Butterscotch. She gives Steve a nod after refilling the ice cream and retreats back into the room she was in before.

“One scoop of USS Butt, coming up.” He flips the ice cream scooper in an attempt to impress Nancy, and a flashback plays in her head. The night she went to Steve’s house for the first time. The night Barb went missing. All of the possibilities of what could have happened replay in her head at all times. Nancy knows she died in the upside down, but what happened leading up to that? If she thinks about it too much she’ll spiral. She still wishes it was her.

Steve snaps her out of her thoughts by handing her the ice cream cone and saying it’s on the house. She musters up a small smile and sits down at one of the tables.

People watching is fun for her. Maybe that’s a pro of the mall. She likes to watch people work, shop, or walk around with their boyfriends and girlfriends. The entire time she’s eating her ice cream (which is surprisingly really good) she’s got her eye stuck on one person.

Robin.

She can only assume that her break was up because she came out from the back and switched with Steve. Robin is not the most graceful person Nancy has ever watched, but she is the most interesting.

The way her eyebrows crease when Erica continuously asks for more samples. The way her eyes darken when she sees a stereotypical jock join the end of the line. The way she scoops the ice cream with no regard for cleanliness-spilling it onto the floor occasionally. The grunt of frustration that escapes her throat is hard to miss as well.

Nancy doesn’t know why she’s so fascinated with her, but that was not the last time she went to Scoops Ahoy that week.

A day later, she walks in again. This time, it’s just Robin at the counter. No sign of Steve.

“Hi, what can I get for you?“ Robin has a slight blush on her freckled cheeks as Nancy peruses the ice cream flavors.

“I will have…one scoop of mint chocolate chip please.” Robin’s face flushes even more as she struggles to stifle a smile. “What?” Nancy is more curious as to why Robin is smiling so hard about her ice cream choice than she’d like to admit.

“Mint chocolate chip is the best flavor of ice cream…and Steve and I have been arguing about if it’s good all week. He thought you’d agree with him, he’s going to be so mad when he finds out he’s wrong.” Her face is crumpled as she starts laughing, and admittedly it makes Nancy laugh too.

“Shame on him for ever thinking I’d agree to such a monstrous opinion.” The right side of her lips form into a smirk as she shifts the top half of her body to lean just a little over the counter, closer to Robin. There’s a flicker of flirtatiousness in her tone that makes her stomach turn.

“I know right. Absolutely barbaric.” Robin’s eyes have softened into a light shade of caramel, and the harsh light makes her look pale, so it doesn’t hide her growing blush easily.

Suddenly incredibly confused and uneasy, Nancy gives one more little laugh and grabs the ice cream out of the girl’s hand. She goes to sit down at the same table as yesterday, ready to some more people watching.

She tries to steer her eyes away from the counter, but she catches herself instinctively staring at her. It’s almost the same as it was yesterday, except something new happens.

She looks back. Robin looks back at Nancy, with a knowing gleam in her eye. Maybe she knows Nancy has been staring? Maybe she thinks Nancy’s weird? Maybe she-

She’s smiling now. She’s smiling at Nancy. Her big bright smile is for Nancy and Nancy only. Her eyes threaten to look into Nancy’s soul, but she won’t let her. The corners of Nancy’s mouth tug upwards, threatening to let a smile shine through. A small one escapes her mental grasp, which turns into an ear to ear grin. The girls both get into fits of giggles soon after, breaking their strong eye contact. Another costumer walks in and Nancy mentally curses them for not letting her and Robin share the same eye contact anymore.

She looks down at her table and realizes her ice cream has been finished for at least five minutes now, so she has no more excuse to sit and stare. Getting up and leaving, Nancy takes one final look at Robin. She’s bent over, scooping what looks like chocolate ice cream. She won’t see this, but Nancy does a small wave as she walks out.

Its the thought that counts.

Later that night, the moonlight illuminates Nancy’s room as she tries to rid her thoughts of a certain someone. Robin’s smile and freckled cheeks take over her mind. Their last interaction plays through her head on a loop. Their smiles, the shared eye contact, the way Nancy’s heart seized in her chest when they locked eyes.

Nancy has known she’s liked girls for a while now. It’s not like her and Barb’s friendship was anything more than that, but Nancy thought about it from time to time. She just never thought she’d like someone this much. Enough to go back for ice cream even though she doesn’t even like ice cream that much. Enough to be the only thing on her mind.

So, while Nancy is trying to lull herself to sleep, pictures of Robin flash through her head like a movie.

She spends the next week and a half going to Scoops Ahoy everyday. She goes at the same time everyday, so Robin is always at the counter when Nancy orders ice cream. She gets something new everyday, whether she likes it or not, she will eat it while sharing secret looks with Robin.

On this particular day, Nancy walks in, orders Chocolate Fudge ice cream in a cone, smiles too hard at Robin, and sits down at her spot. All of this is normal, except when Robin sits down at her table.

“Hi.” Robin’s smile is from ear to ear as she slides in the seat across from Nancy.

Nancy’s face flushes, a shade of bright red spreads across her cheeks as she realizes what Robin is doing.

“Hi, Robin.” Her smile is equally as large. Both of the girls feel as if they’ve lost their train of thought.

“So, you must really like ice cream, considering you’re here everyday.” Robin says as she cocks her eyebrow.

Nancy blushes harder at the obvious flirting going on between them. “Yeah, I mean…ice cream has got to be one of my uh…my favorite things.” She’s flustered because she knows that’s not true. It’s all Robin, Robin is one of her favorite things honestly.

Robin laughs and shifts in her chair, getting closer to Nancy’s face. “So, how about we go somewhere that’s not an ice cream shop in the mall. I don’t know…how about Enzo’s?” Robin’s voice cracks when she suggests the restaurant. She’s nervous.

Nancy’s heart rate picks up as she’s trying to decipher if this is a friend thing or a date thing. “As in like a…like a…” she’s struggling to say the word.

“Like a date.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Oh.” Her eyebrows shoot up as she takes in what she just heard. Robin, the girl she has been eyeing for about two weeks now, just asked her on a date. Nothing about this feels real.

“I-I mean unless I got…this all wrong“ Robin’s hands gesture in between the two girls. She starts mumbling and all that Nancy can hear is “I really, really hope I didn’t.” Her face is twisted in pain and she can’t even make eye contact with Nancy.

“No! No, you didn’t get…this…wrong at all. I would love to go to Enzo’s with you.” Robin perks up at this, the same big smile from before has come back to her face. Both of the girls are beaming.

Nancy’s ice cream has melted, it’s been completely forgotten about and Nancy couldn’t be happier.

#ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronance fanfiction #mywhitetennisshoes

[vantonovas]

[ lily-rose depp, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! VENUS ANTONOVA just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for HER WHOLE LIFE, working as a STRIPPER & ASPIRING ACTRESS. that can’t be easy, especially at only 25 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit ERRATIC and IMPULSIVE , but I know them to be ALLURING and BOLD. whatever. I guess I’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to THE BRONX! — (gia, 27, aest, she/her, none)

tw: violence, incarceration, mention of guns, sibling death & drug addiction.

full name: venus antonova.

age: twenty-five years old.

hometown: the bronx, ny.

neighborhood: morris park.

occupation: stripper & aspiring actress.

orientation: biromantic bisexual, femme leaning.

status: single.

named after her mom’s favourite planet, venus was born and raised in the bronx. she’s is the daughter of russian immigrants, but was solely raised by her mother after her dad was put in prison for attempted murder and gun trafficking with a 27 year sentence.

her mom did everything she could to provide her kids with everything they needed and worked 3 jobs to be able to put food on the table. at times it was tough, but as long as they had each other, they were happy.

venus has always been interesting in performing. she has a natural presence about her, paired with confidence that could kill and a talent to charm just about anyone. for as long as she can remember, her dream was to become an actress. she attended la guardia high school and thrived there. she was considered one of the most promising students and had been offered a scholarship at juilliard.

she was ecstatic about getting into juilliard… until a few weeks before she was set to start, the unthinkable happened. her older brother died unexpectedly and her entire world shattered. she had to drop out before she could even start due to debilitating depression and the advice from a psychiatrist.

seven years later, she never ended up going to juilliard. instead she took several acting courses and continues to go to acting classes and auditions while juggling her job as a dancer at one of manhattan’s popular strip clubs.

while she isn’t where she hoped she’d be by now, she’s doing what she can to still make her dream happen. obviously stripping wasn’t what she had initially envisioned for herself, but it helps pay the bills and then some.

for the last few years, venus has been abusing illicit substances. her drug of choice being cocaine. it started out as a way to numb her heartache surrounding the death of her brother, as well as other traumas that have occurred in her life. it has got to the point where she uses pretty much everyday, but refuses to believe that she has a problem.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !

regular clients

roommates (2)

best friends / squad (0/3)

childhood best friend

exes

flings (current or former)

neighbours

#boroughs.intro #violence tw #guns tw #incarceration tw #death tw #sibling death tw #addiction tw #drugs tw

[hopelesscalico]

Summuruay and i might ask more in depth from there 👍

ok!! o7 my preface is that i am a big ttrpg player so quite a few of these stories are owed in part to my friends + my boyfriends!! but i have plenty of original projects too :)

first up: WHOREVILLE! whoreville is a ttrpg campaign dmed by my wonderful boyfriend @rin0a! it was poorly named as a joke a little over three years ago when we started playing it and now we are all (unfortunately) much too attached to the name to try and change it. whoreville is set in a modern fantasy setting, where elves and magic and other similarly fantastical things exist alongside iphones. we follow a party of 5 characters (zoey, aurelia, twig, celeste, and minseo) as they are tormented by tempus, the god of both war and being extremely gay-coded! the party is basically played with like little dolls, being forced into problem after problem because tempus loves to make a certain dryad man (and company) suffer for his own amusement. they spend most of their time solving various other peoples problems as well as uncovering their own pasts bc their secrets are often exposed against their will. (the party is full of little mentally ill little liars) the question continues to arise: WHY US???? AHHH!!!

my most important character in whoreville (and also of all time) is AURELIA CERVANTES!!!! she’s a 19 year old half-elf girl who is as dumb as she is kind! she loves to talk, loves meeting new people, and is intensely emotional at all times. her very favorite things are her friends, dogs, fashion and romance! she is extremely silly, bisexual, and full of LIES!!! while aurelia initially appears to be a fairly well-adjusted girl, her happy-go-lucky demeanor masks an extremely turbulent past (and present!) of struggling with incredibly severe mental illness. she has a methodical system in place to make herself seem as “normal” as possible at all times. she is also in head over heels love with her fellow party member and best friend zoey (the aforementioned dryad man) but he has yet to catch her drift being that he is so dense you could probably smash a brick on his head and he wouldn’t notice.

i am also in possession of a retired pc named EDEN LIETO! eden is a 25 year old faun woman who is extremely and unequivocally lame and could be accurately described as Constantly having a stick up her ass. she’s extremely quick to anger, and she’s incredibly blunt at best and outright mean at worst. buuuut… internally, eden is a very kind lady who has had to harden up throughout the course of a very difficult life. she has devoted her life to the selfless goal of helping as many children in need as she possibly can. she just… struggles a lot with feelings. she is not currently in play in whoreville being that her character arc is pretty much over and she has moved back in to live with her family in her hometown (after leaving home as a teenager) but! she does still exist.

secondly: SENTENCE REPOSE! sentence repose is a… i guess you could say part collaborative writing project part roleplay part?? ttrpg campaign, sort of, hypothetically? again, the world was thought up by my boyfriend rinoa! the plot follows lil homie gay ass (a campy little 13 year old named isaac) and his quest to get vengeance on the corrupt government responsible for the deaths of them and their entire town (after being brought back to life by the son of the man who killed him). isaac doesn’t work completely alone, though! he travels with a group of people from various backgrounds, initially recruited by isaac as temporary assistance but the 8 of them end up working together as a longer term arrangement. the story follows each of them over the span of many years as they slowly work to tackle the monolith that is SENTENCE MOTION…. (the miserable government/corporation/monarchy hybrid that runs their country)

JOAN GAYE-WAZOWSKI is one of 2 characters i own who travel the party! she’s a 16-year old elf girl who was turned into a robot by isaac’s estranged father in order to optimize her own quest for vengeance. she is seeking to avenge the deaths of her long-deceased parents, who she believes to have been murdered by the government. (they weren’t.) she prides herself on her bizarre nature, deliberately utilizing words that haven’t been used since 1930 mid-conversation to disarm anyone foolish enough to converse with her. basically, she talks like she’s playing 4d chess. her hobbies include making dangerous chemical concoctions with no safety gear, publishing shitty yaoi-artstyle art on deviantart, and being annoying on purpose.

LUCIEN SHIROSAWA is my other main sentence repose character! he’s an incredibly gentle and kind 14 year old human boy who loves babies, dad rock, and bad y/a romance. lucien is a boy on a quest to prove their worth as an adventurer, after being largely ignored by their neglectful parents their entire life. (parents who just so happen to be employed by the very corrupt government the party is seeking to dismantle! would you look at that!) largely, lucien is much too nice for his own good, and struggles with extreme gender dysphoria as well seeing his disabled body as valuable.

next would be my own ttrpg campaign, SIGNPOST! iiiiiim the dm of signpost! it’s about working together to stop the end of the world, friendship-is-magic bullshit, and a whole lot of dyke drama. there are 8 main characters in signpost, 5 of those being npcs belonging to me and 3 of them belonging to various friends of mine.

my first npc is C1C4D4 VON CARINON!! c1c4d4 is a 26 year old wild elf + tgirl computer scientist who works heavily in robotics and is an aspiring SUPERVILLAIN!!!! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!! c1c4d4 is a weirdgirl, first and foremost. she is a self described “evil genius” who loves to make fun of people and get up to mischief for her own amusement. she’s mean, she’s a loser, and she thinks she’s much, much, cooler than she is. but it’s ok!! she’s funny about it!! >:3c

c1c4d4 works alongside famed assassin LILY VON CARINON. lily is an uptight 28 year old human woman who is in incredible homodenial and has been for a period of many years. she’s unbelievably cagey about her life, emotions, and interests, and she dedicates nearly all of her free time to doing work. she is obsessed with coming off as cool, calm, collected, and incapable of having human feelings. her and her coworker/roommate/best friend c1c4d4, though, are unbelievably in love with each other. both of them are so out of touch with their emotions, though, that they basically just live the lifestyle of a married couple without being formally in a relationship. (notice they have the same last name? yeah.)

JIMMY OF THE SEAS is a 38 year old demigod of the ocean! he is the epitome of a claire’s girl except grown up and gone transgender. he’s loud, eccentric, talkative, and constantly frantically jumping from task to conversation to task again. he has a bit of difficulty keeping on track, and usually just tends to go with the flow and listen to his impulses. ae’s the son of the ocean goddess, maraniah, who is… not the most thoughtful of parents. ae has spent a lot of aer life dealing with the societal pressure of being related to a major deity. not fun!

JUSTIN TOLINOV is earths most miserable guy!! :( he is a 37 year old human man who is unbelievably catatonically depressed. because of this, he tends to be just a little bit… boring. he’s a sweet guy, though! he’s incredibly overworked and constantly stressed due to his inability to say no to other people in any circumstance. his hobbies include crying when his friends argue, prematurely wrinkling, and doing exactly what everyone else wants him to do all the time.

and finally there is DANELA!!!! danela is the silliest pinkest tiefling girl of all time who the party found wandering alone in the woods with total amnesia. she doesn’t remember anything but her own first name! (including how old she is.) she is upbeat, naive, and is slowly relearning everything about the world one step at a time. it’s hard to stay mad at her, considering that she kind of acts like an overgrown child. she likes to bite people and try putting new things into her mouth (whether that be pop-tarts or human blood) she loves baking (even if she is terrible at it) and her friends! yippee!!!!!!!

MICHISINO is a ttrpg campaign dmed by my friend @crashed-on-mars !! it’s set on our normal planet earth, but with the bonus addition of monsters! monsters are largely discriminated against by humankind and are forced to try and exist under the radar of humans. our main adventuring party is made up of 4 different monsters + 1 human girl. mostly, the party is trying very hard to live their little domestic family lifestyle and being interrupted by The Horrors 😱

MYLEEN “MJ” KALASHNIK is a 26 year old ukrainian woman! she was born human but was cursed as a teenager and is now a freaky three-winged three-horned creature lady! she struggles socially and tends to be kind of awkward and emotionally distant because of it. but she’s just a silly really. she just has severe mental issues. she used to have an insatiable need to eat human brains but don’t worry she got better. 😁 also she is fully and genuinely obsessed with her…. Platonic Coparent miriam aka blackjack who belongs to bobby grasslandbutch. she has severe autistic girl swagger. and also female absent father swagger. hobbies include playing the google snake game and killing herself

TETYANA “ANA” KALASHNIK is mj’s 12 year old younger sister/child that she adopted! ana is obsessed with mj and thinks she is the coolest person ever to be born. mj is her number one role model of all time, which mj hates deeply because she insists she is not a good person to look up to (and. she’s right) ana is just generally super chipper and friendly and goofy and she loves soccer and sonic the hedgehog. she has the need to like Prove Herself which is not really going well being that she is 12

OK PSA. IM GOING TO TRY AND MAKE THE REST OF THESE SHORTER BECAUSE IM REALIZING HOW LONG THESE ARE

i have a couple of other miscellaneous player characters including LIZZIE WELLS a semiverbal and deeply stoic swordfighter girl who loves reddit and nature documentaries EHNOS VALJAS a 12 year old chosen one with a lot of rage boiling inside them who is on a quest to save the world and ALPHIE SOUP a nasty little werecat girlboy who loves making bad music and being a shithead

i have a hypothetical video game bouncing around my head called DERANGED, OUR SAVIOR that follows a self-aware protagonist named MENCHIE DESDEPOT who loves when they’re right and everyone else is wrong. since they know they are the protagonist they are usually very very very annoying about it. they travel alongside ALLEY OOPS, their best friend and freakish jestergirl extraordinaire, as well as ANZAVEL ECKRY, a magical fantastical little creature who is deeply kind but dumb as a rock.

the next 2 projects are currently unnamed! the first is a short story i want to write someday that takes place in a kind of campy goofy sci-fi setting years in the distant future after time and space fucked up real bad and earth kind of gets merged w/ this other planet. the mainest characters are GOOSE LUNDQVIST and ANDY PRASERITSANG a pair of middle school weirdgirls who do lesbians together. goose is incredibly curious and loud and eclectic and quirkygirl and andy is quiet (only because he finds most other people insufferable) and kind of standoffish. but also CILREA (whose full name i won’t even bother typing out because it’s so long) is there and she’s an alien girl who is kind of a well-meaning little know it all . and CUPID!!!! who is an ai robot who stumbles upon godlike capabilities on accident but she stays silly. she loves old technology and glitter and big bows.

this other project i am working on is like a medievalish fantasy type setting? it takes place on a big continent called the starlet that is mostly populated by HUMANS but is also lived in by ANGELS and DEVILS and sometimes also WEREWOLVES and VAMPIRES and such. my goal with this one was to create a world big enough that i could tell multiple stories completely unrelatedly in the same setting! since there are multiple stories being told there are kind of a lot of players in the ring so let me rapid fire. IRE is a 247 year old undead man who got killed and brought back to life wrong but then got killed again and brought back to life normal so now he’s kind of chilling. MERRYMAKING JOY is ire’s dead angel (literal!) wife and the love of his life 4ever and ever. she haunts the narrative or whatever. also there’s SPROUT BELLWHISTLE ire’s silly little girl friend/semidaughter. and also TAXI VISCERA a 16 year old who wants ire to blow up and die so bad because ire like wronged his family a longass time ago and also LARK MALARKEY (neurotic) and KATZIN DOGS (insane) some old friends of ire’s. AND THEN, UNRELATEDLY! there’s DUSTY WHIMSY an ex-princess turned paladin of the wastelands on an honorable quest to defend the peace. a certain guy named THE WORLD ENDER or twe for short is her dedicated rival and a political revolutionary seeking to incite chaos on a massive scale. there is also dusty’s girlslay sister SUNNY WHIMSY who is next in line 4 the crown and her loyal knight/bff of many years DOVE RADIANCE!

^_^ ok i have a couple other minor projects too but those are the big ones !!

#ok. i am SO FUCKING SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #ToT #i am sooooooo incapable of summarizing things shortly and i have soooo many projects #if u read all of these u r literally my favorite person ever #nonsense.txt #my little mailbox #thanks again for the ask this was so fun to write :3 #and if you want to see any of them in particular i have copious art of all of them #i just didnt attach images 4 the sake of keeping this behemoth as short as possible #cjocs

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Eighteen things I noted about CR2E131 “Into the Eye” and the Talks Machina about it :

Sam : Friends, you have the power to cut my hair or my beard any horrible way you want ! Most of the cast : *are not ok with this* Liam : Guys, we have a unique opportunity to shave exactly one half of Sam’s hair and beard !

Marisha, at Sam sweeping his beard hair from his table : “Look at you !! Doing manual labor !”

OH MY GOD THEY’RE FIGHTING YASHA AS STORM AND WIND ELEMENTALS ??

this is actually a really good idea to have the cast still participate in a one-on-one scene, I’m stealing and storing this for my own DM-ing

Of course Sam is the first to ask for his storm cloud’s backstory and motivations, the nerd.

Underrated joke of this episode : Marisha saying her storm cloud character is called “Barry, short for Low Barometric Pressure”.

Can’t believe they’re still doing 6-ways Boulder Parchment Shears

Awww, Jester saying that if she dies (she doesn’t plan to), she will come back and haunt the rest of the Mighty Nein !

Veth, as Yasha suggests since she’s very hard to kill, she can be the executors of everyone’s will : “Someone’s going to have to marry Yeza.” Yasha, a lesbian : “…WEEEELL… I don’t think that’s going toooo…........”

Wow. If they negotiate with Trent, Essek does not go with them. A simple but powerful way of saying this is a red line to not cross. If this possibility of working with Trent wasn’t creeping me out already, I’d say this is certainly Matt’s way of conveying a DM message... that he does not want to play so many aiding/betraying NPCs at the same time. If it was me, the decision would be clear : I’d rather have Essek with them !!

Essek calls the plan of bringing Trent in the fight against Lucien & the Somnovem and maybe betray him amongst the adventure “messier than you need to make it work”. YES ! LISTEN TO ESSEK ! NO NEED TO BRING TRENT INTO THIS

It’s so very nice to see that even 10 episodes from the end (*ugly tears*) Jester and Sending is the gift that keeps on giving.

Brian, Liam and Sam commit a war crime against Dani and everyone when they start to talk about Sam’s balls in his sport short on his Peloton bike. Poor Dani’s face was my face :

Sam revealing he was ready to have Veth be done with adventuring, following Luke’s death, is very interesting. In-story, it’s very comprehensible, because Veth’s worst fear has literally happened : her adventuring days are putting her family in danger. My immediate thought was that as a DM, if a player decided that for his character in the 3d part of the final act… it would be tough ; not impossible of course, but tough. But apparently no Matt was involved, Sam said that it was he that thought “that’s not very D&D !”, and that he decided to have Veth ask Caduceus if she was really needed... and basically put the decision in someone else’s hands, lol.

It’s not Brody Slater, it’s Rody Slater. Are all our lives a lie, Sam ????!!!!!

Two kinds of players in terms of inter-party battle : the one that feels guilty and thinks “should I take it easy on my attacks ?” (Sam) and the one that flips SO FAST and is absolutely going for the kill (Liam). I’m Liam. This shit is fun.

Liam is still angry that the dice rolled to persuade Essek to ask Trent for help betrayed him, mainly because Caleb “could have been caught in the middle of a bisexual maelstrom with Astried, Eodwulf, Essek, and Jester, all in the same adventure !!” What a sentence.

🎵 If you want to finger-blast me, you’ve got to get through my friends 🎶 HOW DARE YOU BRIAN

#my thoughts #critical role #cr campaign 2 #CR2E131

[alma-andrada]

eva noblezada, bisexual, nonbinary + she/they ― hey look, it’s alma andrada! they’re twenty-five years old, they’ve lived in shrike heights for all their life, and they’re currently working at applebee’s, art murmur and karaoke dokie . i heard they’re pretty short tempered, but i think they’re so reliable at the same time. can they make it out alive? 

tw: mentions of prison/arrest

hello friends! finally felt a little balanced enough to go for a fourth and like dhruv alma is brand new to me so there’s lots to still discover but there’s a bit (I always say a bit and then write a bunch so here ya go LOL) about them below!!

About Alma:

Born and raised in Shrike to two very in love parents. The youngest of two siblings. She has an older brother who’s she’s grown to have a complicated relationship with for various reasons. 

Her family didn’t come from much and relied very heavily on her mother’s job as a waitress and her father’s construction jobs. But both could be unsteady from time to time and her parents did their best to fill the house with as much love as possible. they were experts at making something out of nothing. But towards her pre-teen years they started to struggle more and her father picked up more shifts, more work, mostly work they weren’t supposed to know anything about. 

In an effort to help provide for his family, Alma’s father got caught up with all of the wrong people and ended up getting arrested for driving the getaway car during a robbery.  

It hit her family hard and there was a very quick shift in the house where her brother dropped out of school and started working until Alma was old enough and went to work as well, though she managed to graduate high school before doing that. She’s always generally been a hard worker and juggles a few part time jobs currently to help her mother keep their house. She’s a waitress at applebee’s, a cashier at art murmer (mostly so she can get discounts on art supplies) and has just recently started a part time role at karoke dokie because she felt like she needed something fun in her life. 

Alma is the only person in her family who still visits her father in prison. He’s serving a clearly unfairly long sentence and more than anyone else involved but her mom held on as much as she could. Eventually she grew resentful and filed for divorce, started dating again which has only meant the weirdest of men ending up in their household. Her mother is still pretty present and watchful of Alma and her brother but has for the most part lost herself in working and men. 

Alma on the other hand, always had a better relationship with her father who she goes to visit on a two hour bus ride there and back every Sunday and she has for as long as she’s been able to. She’s his connection to the world. Always telling him about new music or movies. Writing him letters to hold onto during the week. Keeping him entertained with stupid customer stories and the worst jokes she could think of. She makes sure he has money in his commissary and is trying her best to save up for a good lawyer so she can get him out of there. He’s definitely the one thing she refuses to give up on but she often doesn’t talk about him to people in her life. And if she does she always pretends like he just lives out of state. 

Alma and their brother have tension over their own opinions of their father and they stay pretty pissed that he won’t go to visit their Dad. They try to still be their for one another regardless and still care about each other but have overall taken to mostly interacting when it comes to their mom or if one of them is in trouble. 

But when Alma isn’t working her ass off or stressing tf out about family they’re spending their time on their truest passion: pottery. As a kid they had the chance to engage in an afterschool program which is where they were first introduced to clay art and pottery. They really took to it and the older they got the more they sought out learning it on their own. They used to save as much as they could to splurge at art murmur before there was an opening there and it became a bit easier. It’s not like they have access to a studio to work in so they do their best in their garage at home in what used to be their father’s work station. They started with little things. Bowls for jewelry, a mug or cup and have since grown into make larger vases and full dish sets. It brings them joy and whenever there’s a flea market or chance to sell their work they’ll take it. 

They’re generally handy. Knows how to work a tool set. Their love language is very much “hey alma can you come fix this for me/help me out” especially if it requires building anything and using a hammer. They are all in and will build it well. They’ve been thinking about branching out into furniture making/woodwork but they only have so much time in the day. 

Alma isn’t anti-social but mostly relies on work to make friends since her free time is usually spent in the garage, sleeping or trying to keep her fmaily together. But I imagine she has a good group of friends and people she’s known basically all her life. She loves making gifts for the people she loves and is super loyal and will show up when she says she will. But she’s also terrible at letting other people be there for her even if she is 100% a mess 100% of the time. 

Possible Connections:

Co-Workers!!

Childhood/Highs School Friends

Best friends (like 1-2??)

Exes ( probably like one long term ex where they ended on not the best terms and one that was more of a cute fling and now they’re friends) 

Someone who also takes the bus every sunday but probably to go somewhere different (or not!) 

This may sound weird but kids of single dads who may temporarily date alma’s mom LOL that could be interesting 

Older brother!! Eventually I’ll put up a WC for that but putting that out there. 

Neighbors (i imagine the andrada’s probably live in old shrike)

#shrikeintro #about alma

[griefbuilt]

✧.* { BOOBOO STEWART & HE/THEY & NONBINARY & 27/42 } is that SKYLAR FORBES hanging around town ? I wonder if they want to know what the future holds, as for right now, they are a COLLEGE STUDENT AT WHITMORE ? i’ve heard they can be pretty VOLATILE. how typical for a DRAGON. i guess they must rely on their DISCERNING side shining through. rumor has it they’re trying to hide THAT HE BURNT DOWN THE SALVATORE SCHOOL, but that’s probably just noise…

basics

full name:  skylar  maddox  forbes

nicknames:  sky  ,  skylark  ,  mads  

age:  27  /  42

date of birth:  february  22nd

gender:  nonbinary

pronouns: he  /  they

sexuality:  bisexual

family

father:  joel  augur  (  bio  dad  )  ,  chronos  (  ex  step-father  )  ,  klaus  mikaelson  (  wannabe  stepfather  )  .  stefan  salvatore  (  wannabe  stepfather  )

mother:  cassandra  (  bio  mom  )  ,  caroline  forbes  (  adoptive  mother  )  

siblings:  lizzie  &  josie  saltzman ,  cameron  ,  eli  ,  and  carli  forbes  (  adoptive  siblings  )  

significant other:  n  /  a  

personality

morality:  chaotic  neutral

positive traits:  discerning  ,  dedicated  ,  loyal  ,  unwavering  ,  honest  ,  hard-working 

negative traits:  blunt  ,  callous  ,  short-tempered  ,  cynical  ,  sharp-tongued  ,  detached

abilities:  fire-breathing  ,  durability  ,  strength  ,  flight

drives/motivations:   keeping  his  family  safe  while  staying  as  far  away  from  the  mckinley  shenanigans  as  possible  

bio

contrary  to  popular  belief,  skylar  knows  who  their  birth  parents  are   -----  well,  almost.  they  know  their  mother  in  the  nebulous  sort  of  way  that  comes  from  second-hand  memories  and  stories.  he  has  a  name,  a  picture,  and  what  his  father  told  him  of  her.  she  was  a  dragon.  she  loved  the  rolling  stones.  she  didn’t  stick  around  to  raise  him.  safe  to  say,  they  don’t  think  too  much  about  her  (  a  lie.  he  feels  that  abandonment  even  now.  how  awful  a  thing  it  is  to  be  launched  into  space  by  the  one  person  who  might  have  understood  you  ).  

comparatively,  his  relationship  with  his  father  was  much  more  complicated......or  maybe  simple.  it  depended  on  the  day.  you  see,  people  could  say  a  whole  lot  of  things  about  joel  augur,  but  none  of  them  could  be  that  he  didn’t  try.  raising  a  kid  wasn’t  all  flowers  and  sunshine.  raising  a  kid  who  could  set  the  goddamn  house  on  fire  when  he  didn’t  get  his  way  ?  yeah,  that  was  something  else  entirely.  but  he  did  it.  he  stood  by  and  loved  his  kid  in  spite  of  everything.  kept  him  safe.  kept  him  hidden.  was  a  good  father.  but  all  good  things  must  come  to  an  end.....if  you  ask  skylar  how  he  feels  about  having  a  dad  who’s  serving  a  life  sentence,  well,  your  stupidly  brave  or  suicidal.  and  honestly,  he  wouldn’t  know  what  to  say.  they  were  so  young  when  he  got  taken  away,  that  they  hardly  remember  a  time  before  it. most  memories  of  his  father  are  inside  those  four  walls,  in  those  uncomfortable  chairs,  under  the  watchful  eyes  of  the  prison  guards.  caroline  made  the  trek  with  him  and  filled  out  the  forms  every  month....at  least,  until  the  barrier  went  up.  then  it  was  only  painfully  short  phone  calls. 

it  was  funny  how  it  only  took  a  few  months  in  the  foster  care  system  before  one  of  the  workers  swiftly  sent  them  the  way  of  alaric  saltzman  (  something  something  a  threat  to  himself  and  others.....  ).  it  could’ve  and  should’ve  been  worst.  by  the  time  they  made  an  appearance,  dorian  had  already  put  together  that  dragons  were  still  around  in  the  loosest  sense  of  the  word,  but  what  the  fuck  they  should  do  with  one  was  still  a  mystery.  he  ended  up  taking  a  stupid  amount  of  classes  with  the  werewolves  and  witches  (  temperamental AND breathes  fire  ? though,  no  one  really  had  any  proof  the  temperamental  thing  was  a  dragon  thing  and   not  just  a  skylar  thing.....  )  and  getting  one-on-one  training.  it  bored  them  to  death.  but  most  of  his  days  at  the  salvatore  school  were  spent  alone.  there  weren’t  exactly  many  kids  his  age  running  around  (  save  for  pedro  )  and  fewer  who  could  relate.  some  of  the  older  kids  tried  to  reach  out,  but  they  just  weren’t the  type  to  reach  back....but  the  salvatore  school  did  do  one  good  thing  for  him.  

maybe  it  shouldn’t  come  as  a  surprise  that  he  hit  it  off  with  caroline  -----  she  always  did  have  a  thing  for  the  weirdly  dysfunctional.  at  eight  years  old,  skylar  was  closed  off  and  viciously  bitter.  too  angry  to  draw  people  in  close  but  made  all  the  worse  by  the  lack  of  connection.  it  was  obvious  that  something  needed  to  happen,  but  what  was  unclear.  enter  the  one  and  only  caroline  forbes.  she  took  him  under  her  wing,  gave  them  the  tools  they  needed  to  survive,  gave  him  a  home  and  a  family.  and  for  the  next  14  years,  they  were  content.  sure  they had  their  issues  (  a  fuck  ton  of  issues  )  but  they  had  gotten  better  at  working  through  them.  

then  the  parents  fell  asleep.  suddenly,  things  were  a  lot  fucking  less  alright....but  they  had  siblings.  very  little,  very  dumb  and  vulnerable  siblings.  after  burning  down  the  salvatore  school  in  a  fit  of  anger  (  oops  ),  he  got  his  shit  together  to  help  lizzie  and  josie  raise  them.  

and  then  ken....and  the  future  bullshit.  ugh.  but  for  the  time  being,  he’s  just  trying  to  keep  trying  to  keep  everyone  alive.  something  that’s  apparently  not  going  to  be  easy  given  their  mom’s  new  boyfriend  is  apparently  public  enemy  number  1  (  and  after  chronos....they're  thrilled,  really  ).  

#sanguishqs.intro

[sodascribbles]

hello would people like sly cooper gender and sexuality headcanons bc i have figured out the truth and as we all know the truth is lava-proof /ref

slyfox is t4t sly and carmelita told me themselves /j

sly (he/him + neos) is transmasc and bisexual (hes just like me fr) though personally i also think he's grayromantic possibly demi. he doesnt think abt it too hard tho! trades neos w bentley like pokemon cards

carmelita (she/her) is transfem btw also. bisexual queen we love to see it.

murray (he/him) is like the only cis one of the cooper gang but hes also like canonically gay (bi at the very least) hes a gay man ok

hot take but. trans girl bentley (she/they + neos). also under the aro umbrella i think and i think shes ace. penelope and them are qpps. them and sly trade neopronouns around like pokemon cards

penelope (they/she) is also transfem actually. demigirl <3 theyre aroace her and bentley are qpps still. they had a whole sexuality crisis over sly but NOPE it was the aesthetic attraction come to kick them in the ass

HOT TAKE. dimitri (he/it) is a trans man. hes gay i think. possibly aro and homosexual but is not opposed to being in a relationship.

tbf im aro so maybe im just projecting onto these guys but who's to say. :3

nb panda king (they/he but rlly doesnt care) for the win im an agender panda king truther. does not mind any gendered terms or pronouns. doesnt label their sexuality but does have a wife (er. used to have a wife)

also nb guru (any) but in the other direction. hot take pangender guru. tends to use masculine terms for herself but switches it up every once in a while. i think they're also aroace but again IM aroace so maybe im just projecting. either all or nothing w it i think either pan or aroace /hj but hes probably the one ive thought the least abt

and a bonus round of just me speedrunning other chars and not explaining

raleigh is transmasc and transphobic and also gay and homophobic

muggshot is a closeted gay w a lot of internalized homophobia

i think mz ruby is a lesbian

youve heard my opinion on panda king

clockwerk stopped thinking about it after version 2 i dont think they care

youve heard my opinion on dimitri

rajan. cishet i think. probably not intolerant but not an ally just indifferent yknow

contessa. aroace i think. married her husband for money and money alone. cis i think?????? but i could also see her as transfem

jean bison is a homophobe and i just think that's canon

we dont see enough of arpeggio for me to get a good read on him but based on like the way he talks alone i think hes cis and gay but i can also see him as transmasc whoops

neyla i think just doesnt care. aroace and agender made one choice and it was No but is not above flirting/whatever to get what she wants

octavio is either gay or homophobic w no inbetween

also fun fact i think bentley figures herself out as trans tm between sly 2 and 3

anyway what's the 2nd villain

Oh

the mask of dark earth is. end sentence

ok uhhh 3 is the black baron that's just Penelope boymoding /hj

TSAO

homophobic a transphobe AND a misogynist

dont ask how much trouble i had spelling misogynist

id call him a terf but hes not a feminist of ANY kind thank you

lefwee is a pirate and that's pretty gay in general. pansexual. the most accepting villain of the bunch /hj again

dr m is again either homophobic or gay w no inbetween. probably a transphobe tho

using that tag a lot

update apparently the species of bird that he is only the females are red w black beaks so hes also trans heart emoji

"cooper?? no you must be the coopers daughter!" "yyyyyyyyyeah about that" <- real conversation between him and sly /j

you get exactly 5 comments on 4 bc i know exactly 5 new characters

el jefe is a homophobe i think

rioichi is cishet but an ally

toothpick is gay sorry not sorry

tennessee is a trans man and i will die on this hill

le paradox. is a terf i think. ive met him exactly once and know little to nothing about him but just based on Vibes

#whenenver i think abt dr m all i can think of is ITS ME BOY ITS THE PS5 #hmmmmmmmm not sure how i feel abt this being seen by the public eye #feels like a LOT of hot takes that people are NOT gonna like #lots of projecting tho #sodalite speaks #sodalites sclooper #sodalite scribbles #headcanons #sly cooper #sly 2 #sly 3 #absolutely not tagging all of the characters #carmelita montoya fox #carmelita fox #bentley cooper #murray cooper #thats it thats all you get #soda scribbles

[holdmygum]

fanfic origin story

another tag game that the lovely @bigfootsmom tagged me in like a couple days ago listen i've been BUSY

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

the first fanfic i ever read was probably in like, 02/03 when i was 9 or 10 - maybe earlier than that? it was a card captor sakura fic that was hosted on it's own website, a behemoth with like 52 chapters that the author illustrated and everything. i wish i could remember literally anything else about it so i could go back and read it and see if it's as good as i remember.

first fic i wrote was for either american idol (lol) or yuugioh (LOL) i was so uncool as a child. i started writing fanfic when i was 10 or 11 i believe.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

i'm not entirely sure what the first thing i ever wrote was, but i think the first thing i posted was on the yahoo american idol message boards and it was about the judges going on a road trip. like i said, i was deeply uncool.

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

don't let people judge you for reading and writing fanfiction because in 20 years they're going to be publishing thinly veiled fanfic and if you would have stuck with it instead of being embarrassed that could have been you.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

i think very fondly on all early fandom friends i made because they were all super helpful and supportive to me, especially about being bisexual (as i identified at the time when i was like 10-13). i lost touch with most of them but still think about them a lot and wish them well. possibly the most influential group of friends i met i am still in touch with, which is everyone who hung out on the fall out boy message boards from like 2004-2007 (and later, that's just when i was there frequently). my depressed preteen ass would not have survived without them, and my depressed adult ass is glad to still have their friendship and support.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

so here's something from the oldest file on this computer, which is 2018, a little mcu/queer as folk crossover conversation for a treat:

"Sorry to blindside you a bit - I mean, I'm not, I've been waiting for a chance to talk to you, but it sounds nice to say. I know you don't talk about this, either of you, ever, and I know that because I'm very close with a very respected queer studies professor who has spent a lot of time pouring over this issue. He's probably read every Captain America comic that was put out during the war, read every article, watched every news reel and tracked down every document he could."

Bucky leaned back in his chair, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one after Justin nodded him on. He considered him for a moment - clocked his wedding ring, noticed a lot of the art on the walls were actually comic book panels in process, saw the picture of Justin smiling next to tall brunette with crows feet and some tasteful gray hairs taped next to the computer. He didn't trust a lot of people, and he didn't trust this kid, but he didn't think he was going to record him and sell the tape to TMZ or some bullshit either. Maybe just make some random queer studies professor very happy.

"It can be a sore subject," Bucky starts, choosing his words carefully. "The reasons they hid it, fabricated a new story, are the same reasons Steve was hesitant to have me on his team in the first place. He was angry a lot, when he first came back, for all sorts of reasons - it was hard, for him. To learn that people have been taught things about him that weren't true, and to also learn they had changed parts of his story so drastically even if it was for...solid, logical, if not necessarily ethical reasons."

as for most recently i've been working on my steddie big bang, which i can't share with you, and i think i've posted the most recent work on my other current-est WIP (the steddie modern au) so...idk, have this, it's from last fall and will be part of a steddie through the years fic i'm working on as personal therapy and also because the world needs as many of those as possible:

"Hi guys," Will greets them with a slightly confused smile.

"Robin is causing trouble already," Steve sighs, "which I appreciate but she needs to turn it down so that Eddie doesn't get suspicious and pissed at us."

Robin rolls her eyes and motions for the bartender, "Fine, but I still think he's too skinny. And I thought Eddie didn't date people he worked with? And since when did he like beards?"

"I like beards," Will says, which is also unhelpful. Steve groans.

"Three tequila shots, please." 

#tag games #the origins of kim oooo excitement #okay i need to go to work now whoopsie

[ourmanyadventureswithstories]

If I Lose Myself

---- Part One ----- 

(Flashback, 16 years ago)

-Ever since that first night at Insomnia when Leopold had showed me around the club, the corridors lined with doors both open and closed that led to rooms where things I’d never even heard of had been going on, one after another until it felt like a scene from a book rather than real life. Ropes, cuffs, leather of just about every description, collars and leads, crops, canes, floggers… One thing after another blending into a blur of possibilities, opening up a world behind the one I’d known existed, full of things that were equally fascinating and terrifying. It had been frankly dizzying that night, leaving me a little dazed as I walked out of the club with Jorge and we made our way back to the hostel with Leopold’s business card burning a hole in my shirt pocket. It was still sitting in my pocket days later, and I knew the number by heart after the number of times I’d looked at it. Something told me this was the beginning of something, at least it seemed like it to me in the moment, though I knew it was going to take a leap, and it was just a matter of me summoning up the courage to jump. This was the time, slamming the card down on the table to fish the phone out of my hip pocket and dial the number. I wasn’t going to slide that tiny piece of cardstock back into its place in my shirt pocket again without doing something about it. Too many days had been passed being afraid to live, though my courage felt like it might be short lived when the man himself picked up his own phone. Apparently, he’d given me his direct line instead of routing me through the club’s receptionist as I’d expected. It took me a moment to stammer out my own greeting after hearing the distinct voice on the other end of the line, his accent thick and almost intoxicating. It was no strange experience to me to feel attraction to someone of the same sex, I’d known for most of my life, since preadolescence, that I was bisexual, even if it wasn’t something I went around advertising. For me, the attraction to someone had always laid in what was beyond the exterior, something about a mind, the way it worked and a person’s thought processes, intelligence and an internal beauty that shone from within, and Leopold had those qualities in excess along with something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on.- 

Good evening, Sir… -my own was hesitant and seemed small in comparison, every syllable leaving me second guessing my decision to make that call. The sound of pleasure in Leopold’s voice was evident when he recognized my voice right away, though I shouldn’t have been surprised. My mixed accent, half New England and half Cornwall, was out of place no matter where I happened to be at the moment.- 

“Levi, to what do I owe the pleasure?” -though the question in his voice told me he knew exactly my reason for calling. I was fascinated to say the very least, and I couldn’t put my finger on the exact reason behind it. I just knew it was something I was going to have to experience for myself before I could fathom the emotions that swirled just below the surface threatening to boil over every time I thought about our little walk through the club.- 

Well, Leopo… Sir. -taking a deep breath before I’m able to continue, stumbling across the unaccustomed formality of the world I was about to dive into headfirst. Something in my brain just let go finally, the last part of me that was holding onto the fear of the unknown. I’d done far scarier things than this since leaving graduate school, at least that was what I was telling myself to instill some kind of confidence even if it was a false one.- I had some questions about the other night, and I was hoping I’d be able to make a visit to the club to speak with you…

-I didn’t even finish my sentence before I was interrupted by his terse reply- “Can you come by now? I have an appointment late tonight, but for the next few hours at least, I’m free.” -I hadn’t expected that either, but tonight was turning out to be full of unexpected events, and I was certain this probably wouldn’t be the last one before the evening was through- “There’s no one else at the club since it’s not one of our party nights, so we’ll have some privacy.” -For some reason that fact both intrigued and frightened me though I fought to hide it in my voice on my reply- 

Very well, then. I’ll be on my way. Expect me in fifteen minutes or so? -my voice ended in a question, though I wasn’t sure whether I was asking his permission to arrive in fifteen minutes or questioning my own ability to get there in that time span. Shaking my head at myself, knowing he can’t see it as we settle our plans and I grab my leather coat, shrugging it on to ward off the slight chill in the air before I leave the hostel, slipping my keys into my pocket as I hail a cab in the street. The ride was blessedly brief, not enough time for me to change my mind before I’m knocking at the familiar door, only to be admitted by another submissive, only half dressed that greets me with a low bow, telling me that Mr. Kahn was waiting for me in his office, along with specific directions on how to reach it. The door that I was admitted through this time hadn’t been clearly evident upon my first entrance into the club, it was hidden and covered over with the same pattern as the walls, the handle hidden beneath an intricate carving at the top edge of the wainscotting that the young man who greeted me artfully maneuvered, holding the door open for me to enter and just as quickly closed behind me, leaving me in a private stairwell that opened up to a corridor containing three doors. The one at the very end of the hall was my final destination, and for something I was so nervous about, it was entirely plain, dark cherry wood with a brass handle worn smooth by the hands that had turned it over the years. I reached out a hand, knocking tentatively at the polished surface of the door and was met with an almost instantaneous reply-  “Come in” 

-I lost track of my hand on the knob and my feet moving one in front of the other as I entered the room, eyes dancing around to take it all in-- the couch, dark brown leather, like unsweetened chocolate, glinting in the late afternoon light that came in through the windows that looked out over the street below; the wooden St. Andrew’s cross, padded with leather at the extremities that took up the far corner of the room; the array of tools, each hung impeccably on perfectly placed hooks against the wall; the sculpture that looked as if it had come straight off a Buddhist temple of a knotted together couple, arms and legs twisted and tangled into a seemingly impossible position. It all added up to make the room simultaneously simple and endlessly fascinating. Leopold was waiting, perched carelessly on one of the chairs, though he looked almost perfectly arranged for all his casualness. If there was one thing that could be said for the older man it was that he was entirely self-possessed, cool, calm and collected no matter what was going on around him from what I’d seen at the party and now dressed to the nines, but as lithe and limber as if he were wearing nothing at all. It was an enviable quality, one I’m afraid I would never become the master of because at the moment I felt as awkward as I had at fourteen when I was all elbows and knees, entirely out of my element.- 

“Good afternoon, Levi. It’s a pleasure to see you again.” -he stood, offering his hand with a genuine smile. I took it, nodding my head politely in response.- The pleasure is all mine, Leopold. -feeling a little uncertain about addressing the older man by only his first name, though the last time we’d met, he’d insisted upon it. He moved gesturing to offer me the seat across the small coffee table from where he’d been sitting and returned to his seat as I settled into my own.- “So you had some questions for me?” -his eyebrow was the only part of him that moved, raising a scant centimeter up from it’s usual position as he studied me, making me feel fairly naked. My mind reeled for a moment, struggling to remember the questions I’d had on the tip of my tongue before I walked into this room- I do… Just… -taking a deep breath as I struggle to find the words- I’m very curious, about -gesturing around the room- all of this, everything. I must admit, I see the appeal in your life. To me, it’s quite the art form, to live as you do. But I feel as if I know next to nothing about it in practice. 

-He cleared his throat, then let out something like a half chuckle- “So you’re curious? I thought as much when I saw your face in the room the night of the party.” -he crossed his legs and leaned back into the chair- “And just what exactly has you curious? Are you interested in submission? Or the role of dominant?” -And here he had, in a matter of moments, hit on the dilemma I’d been experiencing since the night I saw him work like a master with his blade against the back of the young woman in the club- To be honest, Sir. -clearing my throat and finding his eyes with a surge of confidence- I’m not entirely certain. Perhaps that’s why I’m here. 

-nodding, he threaded his fingers together, elbows perched on his knees- “You’d like to experience it for yourself?” -He cut me down to the core with his words, not dancing around social customs like so many did. Straightforward and honest as we talked, discussing the possibilities and addressing my misconceptions of the life he led. My curiosities bubbled to the surface in the million questions I asked during the conversation, and he was very open about answering all of them. It made me much more relaxed as we spoke, and his turn came to ask questions. What did I expect from all of this? What were the things I was curious about? What frightened me? What would I absolutely not do? Detailing out my limits and interests one question at a time. I wasn’t sure how much time passed while we spoke, but I did know that each request and response eased my shattered nerves more until I was almost entirely myself again. I admitted my curiosity about the ropes, the suspension, the masterpiece that had housed a young man encased and displayed in ropes on the platform in the club, and he told me about shibari, the art form that had been perfected in ancient Japan that often took years in and of itself to learn. The knife came up next, the way he wielded the blade with a practiced hand, steady and confident. He told me of the years of practice that had required as well, until he was certain of himself enough to use it on another person. He showed me the fine scars between his knuckles, silver lines of tissue that betrayed his mistakes if one looked closely enough. And that was the thing wasn’t it. Behind the apparent skin of perfection, the cool calm exterior that sat like a rippleless pond, there was a storm. I could see it in his eyes if I studied them carefully, and part of me wanted to know more about it, to take him apart and study the inner workings, and hope that in them I might learn something more about myself, or just the way the universe worked, or just anything. I supposed that’s what I was hungry for, knowledge, but not the kind that lay flat printed on a black and white page or presented on lifeless slides by lecturers in a giant hall full of hushed students taking notes. Hadn’t that been what I was after all along? Learning about the world, and myself, by experiencing it all first-hand. And wasn’t that what I was here for now, even if I hadn’t admitted it to myself when I made the phone call?-

-The revelation made me more sure of myself, more certain of my purpose here, and instilled me with a sort of confidence I hadn’t had walking in the door. I pulled myself up a little straighter, looking Leopold in the eye- And if I wanted to experience it for myself, Sir? -his only response for a moment was a quirked eyebrow, though I could see the wheels turning behind his careful expression- “Are you sure?” -three little words, and in them he offered me an open door, a choice to go all in or to pull back and escape now. Here I was about to tumble down another rabbit hole into the unknown, and once again, I was leaping in head first.- I’m sure. 

#IfILoseMyself #TheRedDoors #ToBeContinued

#SLContinued #IfILoseMyself

----- Part Two---- 

-And with my reply, I saw his expression change, going from friendly chit chat to authoritative in a moment as the answer melted down over him from head to foot- “Fair enough, Boy.” -even the words he used changed into something else that had me pulling in a breath and holding it, waiting for the next thing to come from his lips.- “And have you chosen a safeword?” -my teeth let go of the inside of my lip, as I let out the held breath and looked him firmly in the eye. I’d had the word on the tip of my tongue since before he asked, when we’d discussed their importance and necessity, the way they gave a submissive the total power to end or continue a situation at their will. It flowed off my lips easily, like water off a duck’s back, a seemingly meaningless word for most, and quite the same in both German and English- Monsoon… -my eyes never leaving his as I spoke the two syllables. The rain that I loved, taken to an extreme, gone out of control and it seemed the perfect metaphor for something gone beyond my ability to process it, though I seemed certain in the moment that I wouldn’t have to use it.-

-The next set of questions were expected, things we’d already discussed in the course of our conversation, limits, do and don’ts, and my ignorance of the world I was stepping into was blatant at this point of the talk. He walked me through a list of things, letting me decide one at a time which I thought I could and couldn’t handle and those which were absolutely off limits, finally finishing off with one last question- Is there anything else you need to know about this before we get started, Levi? 

-I shook my head, catching his eye again, and steeling my reserve for what was coming. I had no idea if I was really prepared for what I’d just agreed to, but I couldn’t think straight enough to come up with any more questions for him, so I simply replied- No, Sir. I think that just about sums everything up. Shall we begin?

-Another nod from Leopold, followed by a series of terse commands, straight and to the point that had me off in a corner, stripping down to nothing but bare skin. Nudity wasn’t an issue; I’d been naked around this man before, our first meeting had me stripped and bared while he was fully clothed, the contrast making the power differential fully evident. I knew exactly what I was getting into here, and giving over fully to Leopold made the control freak in me more than a little twitchy, no matter how much I might try to fight against it. He’d instructed me to stand in the center of the room, feet bare on the rough hewn wooden boards of the floor, hands behind my back as he walked around me in a tight circle, studying me for countless moments, that seemed to pass as slowly as molasses. The clock on the wall in front of me ticked off the seconds, and they seemed like hours. If I hadn’t known better, I’d suspect Leopold of replacing it with another one while I’d been getting undressed. The near silence of the room was heavy, cut only by the sounds of his boots on the floor with every step and the blood that already rushed in my ears. I wasn’t used to being examined like that, wondering what, if any fault he found with me as his eyes roamed slowly from head to toe. -

-Finally, the silence was broken by his voice, the sound of it almost startling after so long of not speaking, the tenor deep and measured each word falling heavy on the wooden floor at his feet. - Hands behind your back, Boy, and stand up straight. I won’t have you slouching for the rest of the evening. -And at the words, I sucked in a breath, biting back the urge to reply, my temper flared a little from instinct at the tone. It reminded me far too much of being fussed at as a school boy for my taste, but my tongue pressed between my teeth was enough to cut off the words that threatened to bubble up in reply. I took a deep breath and nodded- Yes, Sir.-my own reply as short and to the point as I could possibly make it, hands moving to clasp behind my back, doing just as I was told. That was what I was here for right? To learn to give up that control to someone else, to see if that was the thing I wanted. I knew what was coming, but it didn’t stop the deep inhale of breath when he finally touched me. Every nerve I had was on edge, and the soft caress of his fingers at my wrists was a shock to the system. I couldn’t stop the soft sound that escaped my parted lips at the contact, nor the groan when it was replaced by the roughness of the rope that Leopold wound around my wrists, binding them into place behind my back before working his way slowly up my arms to the elbows.-

-My heart quickened in my chest, heavy beats thudding against the breastbone with every breath. I closed my eyes, trying to regain some control of my faculties, to keep every touch from shooting lines of fire through my veins, but I was helpless to stop it or my body’s reaction to it. Growing harder by the moment, each knot taking away a little more of my ability to control my surroundings. It was dizzying, the combination of it all, and left my head reeling until he stopped and resumed his careful walk again, my biceps straining against the way the ropes pinned my arms into place, making the textured surface dig into my skin. My arms flexed futilely against the restraints, every fight only serving to make them tighter, but he was done. I could work with this, get myself used to having lost the use of my arms. My eyes opened, carefully watching his every move as he weighed my reactions, muscles tensed and taut and eyes wide. I told myself that I had this under control, though I wasn’t entirely sure that was true because my body betrayed my mind at every turn. I could already feel the adrenaline rush through my system, the way it made my breath come with a slight hitch in my chest each time, my heart thundering so that I could feel it in the pulse of the vein at my neck. It was the way he didn’t speak, just letting the clap of his feet on the wooden floor do all the talking, that got to me, had my nerves on edge. I had no idea if I was doing the right thing or what was coming next, and the perfectionist in me was scrambling for the correct reaction.- 

-He walked over to the wall behind me and the sound of the steps echoing around the room stopped. Other sounds that I couldn’t quite make out filled the air, though they were soft and muffled. Every part of me wanted to turn around and see what was going on behind my back, but I didn’t know if it was allowed. He hadn’t said either way, and my fingers tensed and curled behind me in frustration. It was only a moment, as long as that moment might have seemed, before he was coming back to me with a leather implement I’d seen at the party in hand, the one that resembled a cat of nine tails without the metal barbs at the end, fingers stroking lightly along the braided leather strips that hung from the handle as he spoke- Now, Levi… This is a flogger, though I’m certain you’ve seen it before. I had this one with me the night we met as I recall. It’s one of my favorites. -reaching into his back pocket, Leopold withdrew a length of black silk, similar to a tie except that it didn’t taper at either end, moving to fasten the blindfold around my head, blocking out the filtered sunlight and taking away my sight. Slowly, one step at a time, he was taking every form of control I had over this situation away, and it had every nerve on edge. So when the flogger finally hit my thighs, leather tips wrapping around the curve of my legs and landing sharp, stinging blows against my skin, pulling a low groan from between my clenched teeth.-

[lestvtdelioncourt]

happy belated bi visibility day from your favorite transmasc nb bisexual 💖💜💙

#ok to rb #my face #i feel cute today check out this sexy flannel BBXIEHSJXBKSHSKFJJDD #^ the most bisexual sentence i could possibly say #bisexual #bi visibility #transgender #transmasc #trans man #selfies #I took my migraine sunglasses off for theeeeese

[mishafletcher]

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

So I got this ask a while ago, and I've been lowkey thinking about it ever since.

First: No. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping. 

Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don't even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you're somehow owed information about my sexual history. You're not! No one—and I can't reiterate this enough, but no one—owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don't feel like sharing with you.

The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you're traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can't sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can't talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life.

This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that's good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now— You don't have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but— 

You don't owe anyone these pieces of yourself. They're yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they're probably not someone you should trust.

Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. This is bullshit on all counts.

There's a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it. Bisexual women aren't failed lesbians. They're not somehow less good or less valid because they're attracted to [checks notes] people. Do you think that having sex with a man somehow changes them? What are you so worried about it for? I've checked, and having sex with a man does not, in fact, make your vagina grow teeth or tentacles. Does that make you feel better? Why is what other people are doing so threatening to you?

Discussions of gold star lesbians are often filled with tittering about hehe penises, which is unfortunate, since I know a fair few lesbians who have penises, and even more lesbians who've had sex with people, men and women alike, who have penises. I'm sorry to report that "I'm disgusted by a standard-issue human body part" is neither a personality nor anything to be proud of. I'm a dyke and I don't especially like men, but dicks are just dicks. You don't have to be interested in them, but a lot of people have them, and it doesn't make you less of a lesbian to have sex with someone who has a dick.

There's so much garbage happening in the world—maybe you haven't noticed, but things are kind of Not Great in a lot of places, and there's a whole pandemic thing that's been sort of a major buzzkill? How is this something that you're worried about? Make a tea, remind yourself that other people's genitalia and sexual history are none of your business, maybe go watch a video about a cute animal or something. 

Fourth: The idea of gold star lesbians is a shitty premise that argues that sexuality is better if it's always been clear-cut and straightforward—but it rarely is. We live in a very, very heterosexist culture. I didn’t have a word for lesbian until many years after I knew that I was one. How can you say that you are something when your mouth can’t even make the shape of it? The person you are at 24 is different to the person you are at 14, and 34, and 74. You change. You get braver. The world gets wider. You learn to see possibilities in the shadows you used to overlook. Of course people learn more about themselves as they age.

Also, many of us, especially those of us who grew up in smaller towns, or who are over the age of, say, 25, grew up in times and places where our sexuality was literally criminal.

Shortly after I graduated high school, a gay man in my state was sentenced to six months in jail. Why? Well, he’d hit on someone, and it was a misdemeanor to "solicit homosexual or lesbian activity", which included expressing romantic or sexual interest in someone who didn’t reciprocate. You might think, then, that I am in fact quite old, but you would be mistaken. The conviction was in 1999; it was overturned in 2002.

I grew up knowing this: the wrong thing said to the wrong person would be sufficient reason to charge me with a crime.

In the United States, the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 1996, clarifying that according to the federal government, marriage could only ever be between one man and one woman. It also promised that even if a state were to legalize same-sex unions, other states wouldn't have to recognize them if they didn't want to. And wow, they super did not want to, because between 1998 and 2012, a whopping thirty states had approved some sort of amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Every queer person who's older than about 25 watched this, knowing that this was aimed at people like them. Knowing that these votes were cast by their friends and their families and their teachers and their employers. 

Some states were worse than others. Ohio passed their bill in 2004 with 62% approval. Mississippi passed theirs the same year with 86% approval. Imagine sitting in a classroom, or at work, or in a church, or at a family dinner, and knowing that statistically, at least two out of every three people in that room felt you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone you loved.

Matthew Shepard was tortured to death in October of 1998. For being gay, for (maybe) hitting on one of the men who had planned to merely rob him. Instead, he was tortured and left to die, tied to a barbed wire fence. His murderers were both sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison. This was controversial, because a nonzero number of people felt that Shepard had brought it upon himself.

Many of us sat at dinner tables and listened to this discussion, one that told us, over and over, that we were fundamentally wrong, fundamentally undeserving of love or sympathy or of life itself.

This is a tiny, tiny sliver of history—a staggeringly incomplete overview of what happened in the US over about ten years. Even if this tiny sliver is all that there were, looking at this, how could you blame someone for wanting to try being not Like This? How can you fault someone who had sex, maybe even had a bunch of sex, hoping desperately that maybe they could be normal enough to be loved if they just tried harder? How can you say that someone who found themself an uninteresting but inoffensive boyfriend and went on dates and had sex and said that it was fine is somehow less valuable or less queer or less of a lesbian for doing so? For many people, even now, passing as straight, as problematic as that term is, is a survival skill. How dare you imply that the things that someone did to protect themself make them worth less? They survived, and that's worth literally everything.

Fifth, finally: What is a gold star, anyhow? You've capitalized it, like it's Weighty and Important, but it's not. Gold stars were what your most generous grade school teacher put on spelling tests that you did really well on. But ultimately, gold stars are just shiny scraps of paper. They don't have any inherent value: I can buy a thousand of them for five bucks and have them at my door tomorrow. They have only the meaning that we give them, only the importance that we give them. We’re not children desperately scrabbling for a teacher’s approval anymore, though. We understand that good and bad are more of a spectrum than a binary, and that a gold star is a simplification. We understand that no number of gold stars will make us feel like we’re special enough or good enough or important enough, or fix the broken places we can still feel inside ourselves. Only we can do that.

The stars are only shiny scraps of paper. They offer us nothing; we don’t need them. I hope that someday, you see that, too. 

#queer stuff #lgbtq #gold star lesbians #long post #sorry #Anonymous