#🐺🐺🐺.writing

[wolvesbarkshamefully]

OH CELESTIA! | one

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wc: 5451

a/n: hellur, admin alpha here, the pack is back with a fic that stemmed from a horny oneshot that will be published in the third arc. enjoy the food, and remember to say itadakimasu (let's eat) before reading and go chisou sama deshita (thank you for the meal) after reading ;D

Ajax walked down the sidewalk with his luggage in tow, eyes scanning each building he passed by. He stopped at a block of apartments that was situated between a food joint and a laundromat and fished out his phone from his hoodie pocket. He sighed as he swiped past the ten missed calls he had received from his mother and checked the location of the apartment for rent.

He would send a message to his mother later. For now, he was scouting for a place to stay where he could peacefully spend his years in the university without the controlling presence of his parents breathing down his neck. He was fortunate enough that the university that his parents wanted him to go to was situated in the city that he was able to request to move somewhere closer. 

Unfortunately, finding a place to stay proved to be a harder task than Ajax expected, as if the universe was working in his parents' favour to keep him confined under their watchful gaze. The university dormitory was entirely filled by the time he was able to apply for it, and he only noticed how infuriating it was to have enrolled in a well sought-after university when he learned that almost all the nearby rental apartments had been snapped up. However, after hours of scouring the internet, he came across one available apartment for rent. It was located in a district known for being popular among the people of Liyue descent, which naturally piqued his interest. He could use a much-needed change in the cultural environment after being holed up in the Snezhnayan countryside for his whole life. Ajax was going to have to pray on his lucky stars to secure a place there, not that he had much luck in the first place. He felt his phone vibrate again and he saw a message from his mother. Feeling a twinge of guilt from ignoring her earlier, Ajax opened it. 

Mom

Focus on your studies. Don't get distracted. 

His mother was still typing on the other end and he waited, expecting another bout of commands and nagging although he hoped for something warmer. However, as if she had changed her mind, the follow-up message did not come. 

You

Ok

Ajax rolled his eyes and tried not to feel a little hurt as he shut his phone off, stuffing it back into his pocket forcefully as he stepped into the building. The landlord was already standing there on the ground floor, waiting for him. Ajax walked up to him, plastering an amicable smile on his face.

"Hi, I'm the one who called about the apartment open for rental the other day—"

The landlord cringed, "About that…" 

Ajax felt his heart drop into his stomach, "What's wrong?" 

"This morning when I went to spruce up the apartment I noticed the roof was leaking and discovered that the pipes in your unit were faulty," the landlord explained, "And there isn't any other unit available in this entire apartment complex. I'm very sorry, I wish I could've told you sooner, son." 

"Is there any other unit available?" Ajax chewed on his bottom lip, hoping for a positive response from the landlord.

"I'm sorry, all the units are full," the landlord shook his head, "You're from that university downtown, correct?"

Ajax nodded.

The landlord sighed, "Lots of students from that school have been looking for apartments. I'm afraid they took the remaining units and those from the nearby apartments as well."

Desperation seeped into Ajax's veins as his brain tried to think of other possible ideas. A frantic frown appeared on his face as he clapped his hands up together and said, "Mister, isn't there any other way? I really, really need to live in an apartment nearby here."

The landlord frowned, and Ajax could see the cogs in his brain slowly whirring. The landlord finally spoke, "Well, I suppose you could ask the other tenants if they're willing to let you live with them. As far as I can recall, some of them have spare bedrooms. If they're willing, I see no problem with you living with them in this apartment. I own two blocks, this block's for the rentals and the other's for the permanent. You could go ask around in both, although I'm not sure how far you're gonna get with that."

The crease between Ajax's brows disappeared, There's hope for me. He grinned and said, "Sure, I'll start asking around and I'll get back to you by today!"

"Today? Young lad, are you in some sort of rush—"

Before the landowner could even finish his sentence, Ajax took off, on his mission to search for someone who was willing to let him stay with them.

It turned out to be a lot more difficult than he had expected. Some turned him down (some were rude, some were polite about it), some gave him strange looks, and some did not even answer their doors.

Presently, Ajax was standing in front of yet another unit. This was the last unit in the 'permanents' apartment block. He did not want to admit it, but after being rejected by one tenant after another, his optimism was waning. He stood at the staircase landing facing the apartment door, took in a deep breath and knocked. 

A tall elegant figure of a man opened the door, clad in long pants and a fitting white dress shirt. His dark hair had faded tips of gold and was tied up into a low ponytail, fringe falling nicely into place to frame his face. He seemed to be around the same height as Ajax, maybe a few centimetres shorter. There was no denying that this man was conventionally handsome and he possessed the sharp ember gaze of a man who quietly observed more than he let on. The same gaze was currently focused on Ajax, probably assessing him in the same way.

"Can I help you?" Ajax noticed that the man had a markedly sophisticated accent. 

"Uh, hi," Ajax suddenly felt self-conscious and took extra care in his speech (probably because this elegant man had some sort of sophisticated aura that commanded absolute precision and a refined manner of speech), "I was moving into a unit in the rentals block next door, but the landlord only found out today that there was a problem with the pipes. There's no other units available but I desperately need a place to stay that's near my school and my term is starting in a week so the landlord advised me to find someone who was willing to share a unit with them." He took a breath and continued, "So, are you alright with sharing your apartment with me? I promise won't give you any extra trouble!"

A long silence followed his question. Ajax gulped as he watched the man lift a hand up to his chin, his brows furrowing together.

Please say yes, please say yes, Ajax chanted in his head, I literally have nowhere else to go. Please take pity on me and say—

"I don't see why not," Ajax's eyes widened at the man's agreement, "Why don't you come inside and we can have a little chat regarding your proposal?"

"I — thank you, kind sir!" Ajax beamed and he was practically bouncing on his feet in sheer joy. He would even pull this man into a hug if he felt more comfortable with him.

A couple of texts to the landlord and an agreement with the elegant man later, Ajax was finally moving into the man's apartment.

"My name is Zhongli," the man spoke after they had closed their discussion, "I thought you should know this since we are going to be housemates after all."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Ajax," Ajax introduced himself with a grin.

"Would you like a tour of the place?" Zhongli asked, "After all, you are going to live here eventually."

"Sure," Ajax said, standing up along with Zhongli.

As Zhongli guided him around the apartment, Ajax could not help but notice the very random but seemingly ancient objects decorating the house. For instance, Zhongli had placed a couple of rocks on the shelf just above the television set, and there was an old desktop stationed by the window in the living room. Judging from those little antique trinkets Zhongli had collected, Ajax assumed that his new housemate was a much older man than he was, probably in his thirties or so.

"And this is the kitchen," Zhongli said, gesturing to the area behind the small kitchen island. The kitchen had an open plan and anyone could see the chef cook. Zhongli turned around and pointed up at the cupboards above the stove and spoke, but Ajax was not really listening. Instead, his focus was zeroed on Zhongli's rear, which was nicely accentuated by the tight, formal office pants he was wearing.

He really has some nice assets— Ajax blinked and nearly slapped himself for even looking at someone else, let alone his new housemate, in such a debauched manner, Stop it, stop behaving like some sort of perverted uncle! He's probably in his thirties, and you're twenty!

"Well? Is there anything you are quite not satisfied with?" Zhongli's silky voice plucked Ajax out of his self-reproach, causing both of them to stare at each other in awkward silence for a couple of seconds.

Quickly, Ajax smiled as if nothing was wrong (haha, yeah right), "Everything looks good to me!"

As if he had even been paying attention to even half of what Zhongli was saying. Who were you trying to fool, Ajax?

"If that's the case, then that's alright," Zhongli said, straightening the tie which was hung around his neck, "I look forward to being your housemate."

"Believe me, the pleasure is mine," Ajax's smile strained just slightly but he covered it up with a lighthearted chuckle.

—

The moving in process was not anything remarkable. The apartment was already fully furnished, and Ajax did not have many sentimental knick-knacks to bring along with him: Just a few picture frames containing the precious photographs of his younger siblings. All he packed was two suitcases stuffed full of clothes and one cardboard box of miscellaneous items, which surprised his new housemate as he helped to carry his things into his new room.

"Is this all you have?" Zhongli carefully set the box down onto the freshly-washed sheets of the bed. Ajax takes a moment to look around the guest room that had been converted into his living quarters. Orange hues of sunset filtered through the blinds of the window that faced toward another apartment building. It was not the best view by far, but at least it was not a noisy highway. The room was also a little smaller than his old room back home, but it would have to do.

"Yep, thanks for letting me stay on such short notice. It means a lot," Ajax offered an earnest smile. 

"It's no trouble, although it's a little unconventional to have a stranger knock on your door out of the blue to ask if there's space for a roommate." There was a hint of humour in Zhongli's voice.

"Well, I have to admit I got a lil' desperate. The landlord was initially going to turn me away but in the end, he turned around and said that if I was able to persuade anyone to take me in then I would be able to stay," Ajax hung up the last of his clothes in the cupboard and closed it, "So I'm glad I met you for things to turn out so ideally."

"Why don't you unpack your belongings first?" Zhongli said, "Then come on out to the living room after you're done. I’ll get you something to drink."

"Sure," Ajax said, "Thanks for the help. Again."

"I'm always happy to help," Zhongli replied, then exited his bedroom, closing the door behind him shut with a gentle click.

Since Ajax did not bring much with him, it did not take long for him to finish unpacking. He opened the door and carried the box out with him, placing them by the door and leaving a mental note for himself to throw the box out when he leaves the house the next time.

As he was entering the living room, a new scent lingered in the air: It was a familiar aroma from the countless colds he had back in his snowy hometown, blowing on piping hot soup and drinking it to ease his shivers. It was a homely and comforting aroma, one that brought a smile onto his face without him even realising it. He then noticed Zhongli in front of the stove, ladle in hand as he stirred something in a pot. Ajax admittedly never got a good look at the kitchen from a few moments ago (he was looking at something else, something so jarring that snatched his attention away from some mere kitchen cupboards), so he thanked the Archons that there was actual cooking equipment other than a microwave. He walked over until he was standing right behind his housemate, head leaning over his shoulder to take a peek. The only thing he could discern in the pot was thick slices of pork belly in some clear broth, the rest of the ingredients he did not recognise.

Sensing his presence, Zhongli turned his head to give Ajax the subtlest of smiles, "Oh right, I was about to tell you. I'm heating up some bamboo shoot soup I made for us to eat for dinner. Think of it as your welcome gift."

Such a simple yet thoughtful gesture, and it was only his first day here. Ajax could not help but return a smile back as warmth filled his heart.

"Damn, I didn't take you for a chef. It looks like the real deal you would find in restaurants!" Ajax joked, "Granted, I don't think I've ever tried this dish before."

"Chef?" Zhongli’s eyes widened slightly, dumbfounded, "You must be mistaken. I work as a director for Morax Holdings. My culinary skills are merely just a hobby."

Ajax felt himself almost pass out, "Wait, Morax Holdings?! Isn't that like, one of the biggest mega corporations in Teyvat?"

More importantly, Ajax thought, Why would a director of such high standing be cooped up in this unremarkable, ordinary apartment? And that's not even considering how easily he agreed to let this random lowly university student stay with him.

Was this some kind of trap? It still wasn't too late for Ajax to pack everything up again and make a run for it while Zhongli is fast asleep.

Zhongli chuckled, "You're probably wondering why a high flyer like me is cooped up in this humble apartment." 

"Was it that obvious?" 

Zhongli chuckled and motioned Ajax to sit at the kitchen counter as he ladled the soup out into two bowls. He pushed the portion with more ingredients over to Ajax before returning to the kitchen sink to fetch soup spoons and two more bowls containing warm rice.

"That's what most people ask when they hear my story," Zhongli let out a huff that was almost akin to an exasperated sigh.

He handed one soup spoon to Ajax and joined him at the same side of the counter. 

"A home to me is nothing more than a place where I can come back to rest, so having a place that fulfils my daily needs is more than enough to make me content. I don't believe in living lavishly. Besides, being a bachelor, having a big house with no one else to occupy besides myself…" Zhongli trailed off as if stopping himself. 

Under the warm glow of the studio lights above the counter, Zhongli's neutral expression looked almost wistful. Ajax found himself drawn to the way his dark eyelashes reflected the ember light. He quickly caught himself and looked away, resting a nonchalant elbow on the kitchen counter. 

"Well, that makes the two of us. Cheers to being single and maidenless, I guess. Who needs a partner when you've got a successful career?" Ajax joked, hoping to lighten the mood. Zhongli offered a small smile and gestured to the bowl of soup before Ajax. 

"Please, help yourself. I want to know what you think." 

Ajax eyed the bowl of soup curiously, especially on what he assumed were bamboo shoots chopped up into bite-sized pieces. The only kind of bamboo he had eaten was the tiny rectangular ones that always came with Inazuman noodles, while the ones in the soup were chunks that had deep ridges running along the sides.

He could feel Zhongli's expectant stare on him as he dipped his spoon into the soup bowl. Taking in the aroma of the soup once more, Ajax took a long sip. Instantly, he could feel his fatigue from a long, tiring day get washed away by the herbs and spices that flooded his taste buds. He could not help the satisfied sigh that escaped from him after swallowing the soup.

"Holy shit Zhongli, this tastes amazing!" Ajax exclaimed. The foreign name of his housemate still came a bit unnaturally from his tongue, but he would get used to it eventually. He dipped his spoon in again and fished out a bamboo chunk to give a try. The fragrant pork broth had seeped into the fibres of the bamboo shoot, but it still managed to retain its signature crunch. If all Liyuen cuisine was like this, he had been seriously missing out.

"That's good to hear Ajax," Zhongli responded in kind as his eyes crinkled in amusement, "A lot of patience is needed to make the Liyuen-style salted ham from scratch. It definitely would have been much more convenient to buy it from the market, but it's an old practice that I've been keen on trying for a while."

Now that he had mentioned it, Ajax began to notice the difference in taste and mouthfeel of the salted and unsalted pork. He ate a spoonful of rice alongside the meat, and it all blended harmoniously in his mouth.

For a while, both of them savoured their food in comfortable silence. The steam that caressed Ajax's face as he downed the soup added to the warm feeling still lingering in his chest. He already felt like he was right at home.

"I've been meaning to ask," Ajax was still focused on his meal when Zhongli popped the question, "You mentioned that you are going to a school nearby. May I ask which one?"

"Oh yeah, I'm going to NUT," The moment those words left his lips, it immediately occurred to Ajax how wrong that might have sounded. He gulped down his food and nervously glanced to the side to sneak a peek at Zhongli's expression. Luckily, judging from the man's placid smile, it flew over his head.

"NUT... you mean the National University of Teyvat? I must say, that's quite an impressive feat," Zhongli praised.

"Uh — right. Yes, it is. Although, being a director of such a renowned company couldn't have been easy as well," Ajax was still reeling from the fact that he was seated next to a big player in the trading industry. He didn't really care much about the corporate world but the idea that such an accomplished man was willing to share his apartment with him was grounding. 

"Yes, such a prestigious title comes with its fair load of stress and work. I wouldn't really wish it on anyone else." Despite the resigned tone of his words, Ajax could tell that Zhongli was not one to give up so easily, judging from the resolute expression he wore. "Do you have any plans to work as well?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking of picking up a part-time job while I'm studying. Feels nice to be independent, not needing your parents for pocket money, y'know? That way I can pay my share of the bills as well." 

"That's a good idea. What sort of job are you considering?" 

"Somewhere around this area. I haven't really decided yet."

That was a lie. Ajax was going in for a walk-in interview just that night. 

—

Just a few blocks down from their apartment complex, a few streets that branched off the main road had gained a certain reputation over the years. Regular patrons call it The Celestia, others call it The Abyss. It really depended on your outlook, honestly. The famous Third-Round Knockout that stood at the fringes of the district acted as a lamppost to regular patrons of the area. It was rumoured that the restaurant itself also held a secret of containing a rather exclusive club in its basement. Ajax wandered past that particular restaurant and turned around the bend, just as the directions instructed. He found himself in a completely different world. Although he had known about the city's thriving nightlife, the atmosphere was so aggressively uncensored that it threw Ajax off-kilter. For how indiscreetly displayed these shops were, he was surprised that they were sequestered in only a small portion of the city, although he did see certain characters loitering around the fringes of it which led him to the heart of the district. 

Garish bright faux-neon lights flashed above him, casting otherworldly halos above the heads of the slow-moving crowd. The pavement was slick with rain, grit and other unidentifiable substances, the air thick with the smell of alcohol and cheap perfume. Men and women in skimpy outfits tittered and sang their siren songs, luring patrons into their respective bars, brothels and strip clubs. Ajax could feel vibrations from the low pulsing beat of rave music blasting in the basement outlets through the soles of his sneakers. The main customers milling about were office workers still dressed in their stiff smart casual wear, although there were the occasional university students and couples. 

"Hey handsome, you look lost. Why don't you come in and I'll show you a good time?" a lilting saccharine voice caught his attention. Assuming that it was directed at him, Ajax turned his head to the source. A young lady giggled and wriggled her fingers at him. She could not have been older than her early twenties.  

"Uh, sorry, I'm here for work actually," Ajax was already walking away, using all his willpower not to look at the skintight dress she wore that barely covered any skin. 

"Aw, that's too bad honey—" her voice was drowned out by the din as he slipped away, narrowly avoiding a lumbering drunkard who careened past him and collapsed onto the pavement. He felt helplessly overwhelmed and was almost tempted to bail on the walk-in interview but then remembered why he came here in the first place. 

"You're the eldest son, so it's your responsibility to care for the family as well. For every decision you make, you must have your family in mind." 

Ajax tightened his hoodie strings. What about what he wanted? He had heard stories of people who lived their wildest years in university and he did not want to live with the regret of not having lived a little. Living away from his parents was a golden opportunity for him to indulge himself for the first and last time before he resumed bearing the yoke of family responsibilities that he had abandoned. There was no better time like the present, he thought as he stopped in front of the stripper club.

Live a little before you go.

—

A week had flown by since Ajax abruptly moved into the apartment of this eccentric yet kind man. Since then, he received a phone call from the club he did the interview at, offering him a place much to his delight. From what he had heard and researched, Angel's Share was a nightclub that boasted of its delectable alcohol and incredible service. The pay they proposed was generous, and the tavern theming of the building he saw during his visit gave off a mystical vibe that instantly pulled him in. He still needed some training to get familiar enough with the pole before he could officially debut as the newest member in their lineup, plus the costumes that were currently being made according to his measurements.

Ajax would be lying if he said that he was not looking forward to it. In fact, he could already feel the excitement and anticipation buzzing at the tips of his fingers. This was his moment to finally break out of his shell and smash said shell into dust without a care in the world.

There was still a predicament hanging over Ajax's head though, of whether he should tell Zhongli about his stripper job. It was best if as few people knew about it as possible, but with Zhongli as his beloved housemate, it just seemed like an inevitable fate. A semi self-indulgent thought had also been brewing in the back of his mind.

Maybe, if Zhongli were to find out, he would be a supportive friend and come to see one of my shows… and if everything went a little too well, I could help solve his growing problem down there— Ajax internally slapped himself hard (he seemed to be doing that a lot as of late) as he splashed cool water onto his face to chase those silly daydreams away. He had really needed to get his raging hormones in control, for the sake of both his housemate and himself.

Just as Ajax reached over for a towel to wipe his face, he noticed something odd on the marble counter. A simple brown leather wallet with the slightest sights of wear and tear that clearly belonged to Zhongli. Did this guy seriously just leave his wallet in the bathroom?

Ajax sighed. He had better return this to Zhongli quickly before he goes off to work. His mind still a little groggy from waking up, Ajax did not think twice as he emerged from the bathroom to knock on the door to Zhongli's room, wallet in hand. When he heard no response from the other side, he took it as his cue to enter.

"Hey Zhongli, you forgot your wallet in the bathroom—"

Nothing could have prepared Ajax for the scene that unfolded in the room.

Zhongli was sitting on the bed before a full-length mirror with his back facing the door, in the midst of buttoning up his grey dress shirt. The revealing, accentuated collarbones of the man in front of him would have stolen all of Ajax's attention, if not for the ropes right underneath them. The crimson red colour popped against the pale unblemished skin, and that same colour was rushing towards Ajax's face as he was frozen still at the door frame.

There was no mistaking it. Zhongli was wearing shibari ropes to work.

(Out of the corner of his eye, Ajax also spotted an embroidery of the words 'Live, Laugh, Love' in calligraphy font hanging on the wall. He did not know whether he should actually laugh or cry.)

The only sounds that accompanied the now sudden silence were the creek of the door that was at the mercy of Ajax's unstable grip and the crinkling of fabric as Zhongli finished off the final button below his collar, effectively sealing away the secret beneath. Ajax's mouth tried to form words, but his brain could not come up with anything substantial. He could only stare in disbelief until Zhongli finally looked up to meet his gaze in the mirror, those amber eyes almost piercing into his soul and making him jump in his skin.

"Oh, I didn't see you there, Ajax. Thank you for finding it."

The smile that Zhongli gave was one of sincere gratitude and nothing else. No awkwardness in his tone of voice, no body language that showed any signs of having been caught in the act. Just the usual, overly formal manner that Zhongli always carried himself with. Did he not realise that his housemate just saw him tied up in those scandalous ropes, wrapping and squeezing around areas that Ajax could not even see underneath the clothes? 

Zhongli finally turned around to take the wallet, his warm fingertips brushing over his colder ones. Ajax immediately withdrew his hand like his touch had scalded him and his eyes jerked up and away from their hands. He could still see a faint outline of the shibari through Zhongli's office shirt.

Oh man. Ajax's eyes darted back to the 'Live, Laugh, Love' embroidery on the wall, grateful for such a turn-off to distract him from the thick sexual tension in the room. He cleared his throat and walked closer to the embroidery, accidentally coming too close to the wall and knocking his knee against it. Ignoring the loud noise it made, he pretended to admire the detailed workmanship of the cloth. No doubt it was beautiful but he was too focused on hiding the blush blooming on his face. 

"Hm, nice piece of work. Did you make it?" 

Zhongli's eyes brightened with curiosity as he clasped his hands in his lap and adjusted his sitting position to face Ajax's direction. "No, my colleague made it for me a while back. It's a lovely piece of art, isn't it?" 

Ajax squeezed a strangled sound out of his throat. Zhongli seemed to have taken this as an affirmation as he pushed further. 

"Do you like embroidery?" 

"N-Not particularly. But it's well made and I can appreciate that," Ajax responded, his mind honing in on Zhongli's gaze that was no doubt on his back. He was not even sure if he was talking about the embroidery or the shibari ropes. If only he could take a second look… erotic images of Zhongli in those lurid red ropes flooded into his head with such intensity that they made Ajax cringe.

Come on, Ajax, he's just a housemate, and who knows how much older he is than him. He is a prim and proper businessman… who wears shibari ropes. Ajax was not sure what to make of this guy anymore, having his impression of Zhongli being entirely subverted just by seeing that brief glimpse of his private life. If this was merely scratching the surface of Zhongli, Ajax wondered how much more there was to this man. A suave and mysterious man on the streets, a kinky freak in the sheets—

"Exactly right. The way the strings are so nicely woven to create such intricate patterns shows the patience and dedication of the creator to bring her art to life. While the similarities between the art form I practise and hers stop at ropes and strings, I can admire her embroidery nonetheless." Ajax heard a shff of silk against cloth. Zhongli must be putting on his tie. 

The art form I practise— was he talking about those ropes or something else? Did he want to find out? No. However, he would not be able to sleep soundly not knowing. 

"W-What sort of art do you do?" Ajax found himself asking before he could stop himself. 

"Surely you're aware of it by now." 

"Uh—"

"You gave me much pleasure knowing that you enjoyed my bamboo stew. Cooking is an art form that I indulge in rather often and roasting meats is my speciality. As you know, such a cooking method involves stringing up the meat. I've been experimenting to discover new patterns of tying." 

Of course. Tying meat. That was his art form. Ajax tried to find a link between shibari and tying meat in the kitchen and he was not too comfortable with the images he conjured up in his mind. He cleared his throat.  

"Anyway, I'd better go. Class starting soon," Ajax laughed nervously and tried to dart out of the room but slammed his shoulder into the doorframe. He barely felt the pain with the adrenaline that was rushing through his veins.

"Are you alright? Also, have you eaten breakfast yet? If not, there's some toast you can heat up—" 

"No, I'm fine. Thanks," Ajax shuddered, slightly unnerved by Zhongli's usually courteous behaviour. He was still too acutely aware of the harness he wore underneath that shirt. 

"I'll see you around. Nice shiba— I mean shirt, by the way," Ajax ducked out of the room. 

"Take care, Ajax!" came Zhongli's muffled voice as Ajax was putting on his sneakers with shaky hands in the foyer.

"Y-Yeah, you too!" Whatever it is you're up to. He snatched up his haversack and shut the door, pulling on his hoodie strings as he tried to suppress those thoughts. It was going to be hard to focus during lectures today. He just knew it. 

#🐺🐺🐺.writing #writing #writeblr #tartali #tartali smut #childe x zhongli #childe x zhongli smut #tartaglia x zhongli #tartaglia x zhongli smut #zhongchi #zhongchi smut #zhongli x childe #zhongli x childe smut #zhongli x tartaglia #zhongli x tartaglia smut #genshin impact #genshin impact smut

[madamegoodparty]

This season is about depression. But WHY is The Big Guy depressed?

Let's take a look at the clues Mr. Brennan "Anti-Capitalist" Mulligan has laid out for us 🔍

The Big Guy aka Elias Hodge, works for a "retro-futurist conglomerate" as a "mento-technological" researcher

There's a Prohibition on oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin -- citizens are only allowed cortisol & adrenaline (hormones that're released when someone is under a lot of stress)

This Prohibition will (allegedly) be lifted once Elias receives recognition from his bosses

All Elias's pleasures and non-work related urges have been driven underground to the red light district -- so he's not allowing himself to focus on anything that isn't work

The Fix is basically a hitman working for the District Attorney, Mark Bition (Ambition) to eliminate any urge that has the potential to distract Elias from his work

More on the above point: District Attorneys are prosecuters, ie, are the ones responsible for punishing those who go against the state. So this further emphasizes that Elias is very strictly policing himself in order to succeed at work

Conrad Schintz (Conscience) is a tiny kid who has trouble making himself heard and doesn't have a lot of power

Speaking of kids -- all of Elias's childhood interests have also been driven underground, this time being kept under the care of Ms. Loathing. This, plus the line about "not deserving pleasure", hints that Elias is potentially struggling with self-loathing as well (also Loathing's line about "focusing on me is not going to do anything but make me stronger")

CONCLUSION:

All this paints a picture of someone who is driven by logic and ambition, to the detriment of his emotional well-being. Elias seems to feel that his only value comes from what he is able to produce for his superiors, and this causes him to suppress any part of himself that doesn't make him a more productive worker. This has led to him becoming extremely isolated and lonely as a result

We can also guess that the work Elias is doing doesn't align with his values, and that he needs to keep his conscience as quiet as possible in order to do it. Even worse, we now see that he's thinking about killing his conscience outright

This season is about the psychological toll being a cog in the machine takes on a person, and I cannot WAIT to see where we go next

#mentopolis #mentopolis spoilers #dimension 20 #mentopolis meta #🐺 #idk i felt a little silly putting this together bc i feel like a lot of this stuff is obvious #but hey it was still fun to assemble the clues into one post haha #writing all this when i should be in bed asleep OOPSIE #the ppl running MY brain should all be fired

[bakubunny]

f!reader | thinkin abt dragon!eijiro fucking you on his fat cock that somehow, miraculously, has not split you in half. you’re empty headed and limp, leaning into is chest as he sits back. it’s a good thing his cave is in the middle of nowhere because you’re not sure you could hold back the moans bubbling out of your chest if you tried. his skin is almost burning hot like the heat of his cock - so much warmer than any human you’ve ever had that the heat alone has your cunt weeping. his clawed hands grip your ass, your thighs, your soft waist. his chest rumbles with growls and groans underneath you as he uses you, slamming you down on his length over and over. not intentionally, though. you’re just so much smaller than this half-beast that you’re more like a toy in his hands than someone he’s fucking, and that only makes you want him more. he hits every deep and tender spot without even trying, making your pussy squelch as he fucks you into a sopping mess. you’re cumming so hard you can’t breathe for the fifth time when it’s finally too much for him. he slams his knot into your cunt, making you so impossibly full as he holds you and fills you with his cum.

#🐺 #things i swore i’d never write are coming to life #tw hybrids #tw monsterfucking #kirishima eijirou #kirishima eijiro #kirishima smut #kirishima x reader #x reader #f!reader #bnha x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #mha x reader #tw dark content #bakubunny

[d3arapril]

we're all very gay and needy and lustful but do you ever just think about what its like TO HUG ABBY???? I WANT HER SO BAD

ugh i just know she gives the best hugs but i don’t think she would be much of a hugger at first. would prefer to just have an arm around your shoulder until she felt comfortable to actually try and give u a hug.

BUT when she does she’ll wrap her arms around u (she likes her arms to go under and wrap around ur waist) and always offers to squeeze u so she can crack ur back… “want me to crack you?”

she always smells faintly of pine (or, reluctantly, lavender if they don’t have the pine soap stocked up…) and if she’s hugging you after a long day she’s a bit sweaty and musky but it’s comforting because it’s her.

likes it when u rub ur hands up and down her back when u hug her. it calms her down. she rocks u back and forth as she holds u and if she’s feeling a lil silly she may even try and spin u around. i imagine she feels dizzy pretty easily and almost lost her balance doing that one time😵‍💫

to summarise, yes. i think about this a lot.

#*wolf ripping tshirt off meme* #🐺 #anon #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fluff #Ugh embarrassing tags #my writing #tlou fluff #tlou x reader #the last of us fluff #the last of us

[nymphoheretic]

Mating bond. Scent glands. Fangs. Biting. Alpha. Beta. Omega.

Everything that deals with omegaverse.

Welcome to the Omergaverse collab!!

This NSFW collab is open for artists and writers aged 18+ (no need to follow me); minors and ageless blogs are refrained from participating or I will automatically block you.

The theme for this collab is all about hot, toe-curling, pussy-throbbing, thigh-clenching, mouth-drooling a/b/o claiming/mating bonds. Basically all things omegeverse!

Any fandom is allowed, but please make sure to use either a time-skip/aged-up version of whomever you choose!

All forms of work (art–especially moodboards, drabbles, longfics, oneshots, headcanons etc) and any genre are allowed. Dark content entries are also allowed, provided that they are properly tagged and all.

FOR WRITTEN ENTRIES: The minimum word count is 500. If your work’s wc is more than 500, kindly add in a ‘read more’ to avoid dash clogging.

TO JOIN: Send in via ask your character of choice + if your entry will be art or writing. Please note each person/blog can only submit up to two entries(I don't want anyone to over work themselves🥺). Character repetition is also allowed–each character can be used twice, but you cannot use the same character in all of your submitted entries, unless a threesome is involved. (Character x character is also allowed!)

Ex.g:“Nymphieeee!!! Can i join your collab with Eren Jaeger from AOT + art??? Ily mwah ♥️”, or, “NYMPH!! CAN I PLEASE WRITE FOR BAJI FOR YOUR COLLAB??? 🥵🥵🥵”

There is no deadline to follow here (you can join in anytime), since we all have our personal stuff outside Tumblr to tend to, so take your time in doing your entries! Once done, tag me at @nymphoheretic in your finished work/s and use the collab tag ‘#omegavervse🐺collab’ to track.

If you have any questions regarding the collab, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask/DM via Tumblr or Discord (if we’re moots).

Network tag: @enchantedforest-network

#omegaverse🐺 collab #nymphomanic♡ #writing prompt ideas #anime collab #blue lock x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #tokyorev smut #tokyo revengers smut #tokyorev x reader smut #tokyo revengers x reader smut #obey me smut #obey me x reader smut #blue lock smut #bllk smut #blue lock x reader smut #bllk x reader smut #miscellaneous

[chapel-of-rizztual]

Hi, Rizz. That Phantom piece you wrote was beautiful but it triggered something angsty in my mind and now I feel I must share that thought with you

Phantom loves to be a good boy but what if he thinks that Copia is upset with him? So he curls up in bed and isolated himself snivelling that he is a good boy… right? Eventually, Copia is alerted of Phantom’s meltdown and visits him and tells him that he will always be his best boy even when Phantom begs to be punished or reprimanded

- 🐺

projecting my RSD onto that bug

It was a bad rehearsal. Copia had been in an awful mood before they’d even stared, the stress of…everything had gotten too much for him and unfortunately for them his ghoul had taken the brunt of his bad moods. Phantom has messed up twice, twice, and it had resulted in Copia yelling at him. 

The rest of the rehearsal he was teary eyed. He’d  managed to hold off real tears until he got to his room where he flopped down onto his bed and let the water works go. He sobbed into his pillow, for how long he wasn’t sure, but the sun had long set and he knew he’d missed dinner. He wasn’t even aware that the other ghouls had come in one by one and tried to console him. With no success. 

Copia hated him. He knew that now for sure. He knew he had a special bond with Aether and of course Phantom was no replacement for that, but Phantom thought he was at least as good as him at Guitar. Obviously he’d been wrong about that. He was going to get sent back to the pits, he was worthless, he can’t even play guitar right and that was he summoned for. He’s let everyone down, all the mentoring Aether had given him was all for nothing, he was nothing but a waste of space, he should never have been summoned he should have-

A hand on his back pulled him from his thoughts.  “Piccolo?” 

Phantom hears Copia’s voice and whimpers, curling up even more. This was it. This was when he was going to get kicked out of the band, of his new pack and banished back to the pits where he’ll be alone all over again. He lets out a wail at the thought and clutches his tail in his hands. 

“Oh, oh, il mio bambino.” He scoops Phantom up into his arms and leans against the headboard of his bed, placing him him his lap. Phantom burrows his head into his neck and sobs. 

“I-I’m s-sorry!” He wails.

Copia rubs down his back and coos at him.  “It should be me that’s the one apologising, not you.” 

Phantom shakes his head. “No! I-I’m a failure! I can’t d-do anything right, I can’t- I can’t be g-good!” 

“Oh that is not true at all, bug.” Copia places a kiss to the top of his head. “You are so good, the best ghoul I’ve ever had.” 

Phantom sobs out again.  “But-but I made a mistake. T-two mistakes!” 

Copia runs his through the ghouls hair hoping to comfort him.  “Everyone makes mistakes, tesoro. That’s normal.” 

Phantom sits up suddenly, look Copia dead in the eyes.  “Please don’t sent me back to the pit.” A fresh patch of tears well in his eyes and roll down his cheeks. “I-I’ll do anything. Just d-don’t sent me back, p-please!” 

Copia pulls him back down into a tight hug, wrapping his arms fully around the ghoul.  “You’re not going anywhere. I’m sorry that I yelled at you and made you feel like this, but I can promise you that you are not going anywhere.” 

Phantom snuffles and sits back up, looking at Copia with tearful eyes.  “I’m not?” 

“Of course not!” Copia exclaims. “I can’t let my good boy go, can I?” 

Phantom pouts at him but lets out a little thrill.   “I’m your good boy?” His voice is so small Copia can hardly hear him. 

“Of course you are.” Copia kisses his tear damp cheek. “You always have been. And you always will be. Il mio bravo ragazzo.” 

#🐺 anon #ficlet #the band ghost #papa emeritus iv #phantom ghoul #anonymous #My writing

[seraphinesaintclair]

“Halloween Poem” by Seraphine Saintclair

#Just a bit of Halloween fun 🦇🎃👻🐺 #words #my poetry #poetry on tumblr #poetry #poem on tumblr #poet on tumblr #writers on tumblr #writer on tumblr #writing #lit #literature #poemblr #poetblr #art #artblr #spilled ink #quote #quotes #my posts #seraphine saintclair #halloween #halloween quote #halloween poem #happy halloween <3

[theaceofarrows]

One day Hunter is going to write a paper titled "Wolves: The Mystical Beasts Of The Human Realm" and it's going to be the best and most well written essay Hexside has ever seen. And then, one day he's going to be the first to write new books on wild magic, the kind that haven't been allowed to be written and published in centuries

#the owl house #toh spoilers #toh hunter #hunter my beloved #wolf kid hunter<3<3🐺 #he's going to write a ten page essay on a five page assignment because he got so excited #he's going to write was previously considerd forbbiden texts

[oizys-naomi]

First Interrogation ; The Words That Hurt Most

╔══════╗

┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　

I tapped my fingers against the desk, annoyed and darting my eyes around the room impatiently for any sign of a sentient being entering the room, or even the sound of a squeak. It wouldn’t been dead silent without the eerie ambience, which I would have much preferred instead of this sense of dread in the air. Furrowing my eyebrows, I tapped my foot against the cement and glanced towards the door; letting my thoughts wander freely and considering…everything that’s happened in the past 48 hours or less.

—-——————-————————————————

I was annoyed, acting inconvenienced. Maybe it was because I had expected Es to be late due to the fact everyone complained they were late, and I already set my expectations lower than usual for someone like them.

Or.

Maybe because they were taking the most time to get here out of every single interrogation.

I was honestly starting to think it was intentional—they knew about my distrust and suspicion—and therefore they were trying to both piss me off and avoid me at the same time, which made me even more pissed.

Because, even though they looked like my younger cousin in both height and babyface, they had the attitude of a complete brat. It was getting ridiculous, as I’ve heard from several others (and….eavesdropping occasionally) they have found it in themself to be short-tempered and aggravate everyone within a 24 mile radius. It’s almost a talent of how they’ve pissed one of us off at least twice.

Of course, this was just my observation. An assumption, if you will. Because of their rather vague and often contradictory statements, I’ve taken to calling them “pheme”, much to their disliking. Did they know what it meant?…probably not. But that wasn’t the point.

—-——————-————————————————

I sighed, focusing back in on MILGRAM and the eerie chambers. My mind seemed to stop racing when I heard the click of a door and a very familiar cough, clearing their throat.

Es.

(( @wardenes-official ))

╚══════╝

#River_styxx #robotintohumanity (tags) #robotintohumanity #zeus_bolt #the-lying-pheme #dolus thequest #oc #rp #ok getting outta character one sec #i have never Roleplayed in my life #all I do is write #i gotta make this allll aesthetic #i do plan to … drop some lore occasionally #definitely not gonna think this out as much as #a second interrogation/second trial #cus. Yk #she’s happy!! Masking!! 😹😹😹 #and then second trial she’s batshit crazy #🐺 #sorry #that emoji is funny #😿

[legendofmorons]

HELLO I HAVE RETURNED

can i request for a oneshot of reader having a bad mood throughout the day (due to stress/overthinking thoughts) while time notices their bad mood but doesn't want to interfere because he doesn't want to make their mood worse but at the end of the day the reader goes to time and they open up to him about the negative thoughts they've been having while time listens and comforts them (romantic)

— 🐺

Bad day (Time)

Of course! I'm always glad to do hurt/comfort things. And goodness this is an idea!

Pairing: Time x reader

Rating: T for cursing

Summary: When you have a bad day, you choose to see your boyfriend about it. He's supportive as always.

Warnings: None

Other: If I missed anything, please let me know

-------

You can admit you haven't been doing great lately. Between stress, questing with heroes, and your geneal unease about things, you're irritable.

The weather only makes it worse, gloomy drizzels have been happening all week. You can't get dry or warm. Your clothes cling to you uncomfortably thanks to the rains.

Despite your best efforts to be nice and to play it all off you know you're failing.

It's all a vicious loop that keeps getting worse.

You can feel Time watching you, he has been since last week. He's watching like he knows something is wrong but he dosen’t want to push.

You can't decide if thats annoying or sweet. But you're starting to think both is the answer.

After the shit show that was today, you sit yourself down by the fire, blanket draped over you shoulders to fend of the chill of the autumn air. The fire is starting to truly light and put out heat.

Thankfully, no one seems to interested in dragging you into a conversation. So you just allow yourself to get lost while watching the fire.

You hear more than see someone move to sit beside you. Based on the steps you'd guess it's Time.

He's got even and very quiet steps, but he makes sure to be heard around you and the others. He's very considerate like that.

When you look over you realize it's not Time though, it's Warriors.

Well shit. You really are out if it. Aren't you?

We're ignoring the fact that you're upset that it wasn't your boyfriend and instead focusing on whether or not you want to go see Time or if you want more space.

You decide after a moment that you do want to go see Time. Maybe he'll have some ideas? At least you'll get some affection.

So you nod to Warriors and push to your feet.

You look around, finding Time leaning against a tree a few feet away. He's polishing his shield.

You walk over to him, drawing the blanket tighter over your shoulders.

"Hello, (Y/n)."

"Hey Time." You say with the start if a smile gracing your face.

"How are you feeling? I know today had a lot of running."

"It was- okay I guess. I'm still kicking aren't I?"

Time frowns at your answer. He knows your beating around the bush. He just dosen’t know why.

"You don't have to talk about it.... but please don't pretend to be okay. I worry about you, dear."

You can feel your shoulders relax a little at that. Time is such a sweet heart. He's always so understanding!

"Okay. I'm sorry, Link. I'm just- stressed out and tired."

You watch his face go soft, his brow relaxes and his eyes start to get the look they always get around you.

You've never had someone lobe you so much you could genuinely see it in their eyes yourself. Sure others could see it- but for him to be so in love with you even you recognize it in his eyes? It always makes you melt.

"Is there a way I can help you?"

"Would- Would it be okay if I vent?"

"Of course, dearest. "

"Thanks." You say.

Time sets his shield aside and sits down, patting the spot beside him in invitation. He figures you've been on your feet long enough and that you more than deserve to sit for a while.

You sit down on his right, taking his hand in both of yours as you trace the knuckles and scars on it.

"So... I've been stressed... I'm worried about everyone back home. And what if I get us all killed? What if my family needs me and I'm not there?" You ask, worries falling out one after the other now that you've set them free.

You continue to vent, still tracing Time's hand. Your words grow more tired with each one but you keep talking.

You allow yourself to vent until you feel light. Until you've said everything and then even found worries you didn't know you had until you said them.

And Time? He just listens, occasionally nodding or throwing in an encouraging phrase. He doesn't push you or ask you to stop.

He wishes he could fix all of your problems, but he's more than happy to let you take space to vent. He knows how important that is.

Once you're done venting, you take a deep breath to re-center yourself.

Then you look to Time gently, finding him to be looking right back. "Thanks for listening. "

He smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I'll always listen to you, dear. You mean the world to me."

"I appreciate it. I love you, you know."

"I love you too."

"Good." You say, letting your head fall onto his shoulder gently.

You realize that you feel better. By a lot. You can't say it's all Time, but some of it certainly is. But venting definitely helped.

"You know, you're really good at taking care of others."

"Thanks." You say, but you get the feeling Time isn't done talking.

"You're allowed to take care of yourself too. I hope you remember that."

"I'll try."

"Good."

"You have to take care of yourself too."

"I know."

"Can we just stay like this?"

"Of course, (Y/n)." Time says, removing his hand from yours.

He then wraps an arm around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head. "For what it's worth I think you're doing everything you can in all respects. I understand that you are stressed but I hope you know I believe you'll succeed. "

"Oh." You manage, his words sweet and unexpected. "Thank you."

"I'll be here for as long as you need me. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm here for you too."

"I know you are."

"Good."

"You can rest you know, if you fall asleep I'll wake you for dinner."

"You don't have to tell me twice." You say with a smile.

You close your eyes, listening to the others talk, laugh, and move. But the whole time Time just whispers sweet things to you and occasionally calls you pet names.

It's nice.

#lu #linkeduniverse #misty writes #linked universe x reader #lu time #lu time x reader #time x reader #🐺 anon

[howtobecomeadragon]

🚨 miwip wednesday 🚨 miwip wednesday 🚨

i heard that a local farmer boy was dragged into the woods by an animal. he wasn't found for a whole week and when he was brought back by one of the squires from the castle, the boy had a nasty bite.

watch out, folks. be careful if you're out alone at night. beware of wild animals.

#miwip wednesday #werewolf will fic #🐺🐺🐺 #my writing #byler #byler fic wip #byler fic moodboard #🏰🛡⚔️🩸

[ragnarokhound]

AND AND AND a vampire letting himself get bitten is I know you do not feed like me, but I would be that for you if you needed it. I know how it feels to be on the other side and I’m giving it to you oughhh AND THE MUZZLE???! Who is it protecting, really? Tim from getting ravaged or Jason’s conscience? Is it ensuring that he doesn’t hurt anyone or that he doesn’t touch anyone but Tim? Getting to the point where Jason is so deep he can’t pretend he doesn’t want to. That’s when the muzzle can come off -🐺🦇

"I know you do not feed like me, but I would be that for you if you needed it. I know how it feels to be on the other side and I’m giving it to you" - *softly sobbing into my pillow over this T_T OTL

"Is it ensuring that he doesn’t hurt anyone or that he doesn’t touch anyone but Tim?" - AND I'M UTTERLY RABID ABOUT *THIS* to the point that uh. I put off responding to you because I had to write this:

“I still don’t think we need it,” Tim complains, turning the key in the lock. It clicks shut with a small snik.

Jason doesn’t budge an inch. 

“Sorry, princess,” he says, his breath puffing warm past the cool metal bars against Tim’s neck. “Them’s the breaks. We agreed: if you don't bite, then neither do I.”

Tim feels his face heat. He huffs, settling back on Jason’s thighs and leaning back into the arm Jason has around his waist. He presses the key into Jason’s chest for him to take. 

The muzzle is big on him, a loose cage of steel and leather; reinforced in certain places with silver. When the transformation takes him, he’ll grow to fit it— which, by the way, was not an easy measurement to get.

“That’s not strictly true,” he says, thinking about how he’d been forced to wrestle Jason down to the ground to wrap the measuring tape around his big furry head. He’d needed to use teeth to do it.

They’d both been bloody and sweaty by the end of it, and Tim was finding fur in places he didn’t want to dwell on for the next month. But at least it meant the wolf was in a playful mood for the rest of the night, and not a murderous one. Some nights it took longer than others to make that transition.

Jason raises an eyebrow. He puts a heavy palm over the key, trapping Tim’s hand against his heart. 

“Oh? Please, enlighten me.”

Tim scowls, and he knows he must be practically scarlet from the lazy smirk sharpening Jason’s mouth, the smug glint in his eye. He loves to see Tim turn red. 

“Quit it,” Tim scolds. “You know what always ends up happening. We go out, and then you get fussy, and what else am I supposed to do? You always goad me into biting you.”

It’s true, too. Tim thought Jason was bad enough outside the full moon, but that’s nothing compared to the unleashed desires of the wolf. Jason continues to look smug, and Tim narrows his eyes.

“Every. Single. Time,” Tim can’t help but tease, sinking the fingers of his other hand into the scruff at Jason’s nape and watching his eyelids flutter. “You can’t help yourself. You need it.” 

Jason growls low in his throat, hand flexing over Tim’s. The moon hasn’t risen yet, but Tim swears his teeth have gone sharp.

“Shall we reevaluate, then?” Jason asks, voice low. He knows exactly what he’s doing. “How about this. The muzzle stays on—”

Jason pushes Tim’s hand to his own chest, then slides his hand with slow intent to flutter at Tim’s hips, digging into the meat of his thigh and pulling him flush to Jason’s core. Tim watches his lips move, hypnotized,  “—until you take it off.”

Tim wraps his fist around the metal, feeling the weight of it in his palm and all it implies— and meets Jason’s dark gaze with his own.

#OwO #woof woof bark bark awooga #SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU HANGING ANON BUT I HAD TO DO IT TO EM #🐺🦇anon #my writing #jaytim #i'm NOT WELL ABOUT THIS VERSE #this is going to lead into Actual nasty monsterfucking werewolf sex but not until I'm done with my other fics OTL #i CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS #the wip mountain is fucking insurmountable #🐺🦇 #asked and answered

[effervescentdragon]

Galex and the feeling of being wanted

im in a mood and i love you and i keep thinking abt my george has a mental breakdown fic so yeah i need to get some things out

You look at him and you want.

You think it may consume you, this much desire. It can not be healthy, nothing that is this powerful is healthy, nothing that makes your heart hurt this much can be good, nothing that makes your body react like someone put every one of your nerves on fire can be healthy. You burned your hand once; put it on hot stove and you've never forgotten that feeling, nor will you ever forget it. You push your body to the limits every single day and you endure so much pain - tiny cockpit in Sakhir, tiny shoes in Sakhir, biggest shoes you've ever had to fill that didn't fit you, that could never fit you, that would never ever fit you no matter how much you try - and still none of it hurts as much as your heart does when he looks at you.

You're in a car with a beautiful boy, you think you read about that once, a quote somewhere online that stuck with you. You're in a car with a beautiful boy and you drive, he lets you drive him, he lets you go wild and he lets you go fast and you step on the gas pedal so you wouldn't think about how much the skin of your face hurts when you smile at him. Your face is plasticine, skin drawn over cheekbones they tell you have the charm of old Hollywood and you drag the rubber around in the way you've practiced, the way that will result in you having distinguished, proper smile-lines someday when you get old, lines that will be described as prominent and remarkable when you're too old to mould your body into a car as much as your mould your smiles and your answers to all the cameras always there and always asking you questions you don't want to talk about, but - you're a Mercedes driver, you're the Mercedes driver, this was your dream so now go out and live it, live it and deal with all the consequences, be careful what you wish for Georgie b3cause you just might get it - you still do despite everything.

He puts his hand around your shoulders and you want. He presses close to you during an interview and you want. He laughs at your stupid joke and you want. He teases you about your hair and you want. All you do in this life is want want want, and all you want is him - and a Championship and a good car and respect and wins and to be the best - to be right there by your side.

You look at him and you want him, and you think the desire will drown and burn and consume and evaporate and bleed you dry if you let it take over.

"Change the song, Alex," you say instead as you're rushing through the French riviera because you need to be fast to show him you can be and you need to get to your destination as soon as possible because you need to stop looking at him because you think you may have to gauge your eyes out if you don't.

"Oh, fuck off, George," he says with a laugh that tears at your intestines and echoes so loud in your ears, you can't even hear the engine of your - brand new brand given brand gifted branded - Mercedes.

He changes the song and then puts his hand on your knee, tapping the beat to some song you won't remember.

You don't look at him because you don't dare, but you still want.

All you know how to do is want.

All you dare to do is -

- nothing.

#i am so drugged yall pardon all the mistakes #anyways i refuse to reread this #love you logan #logan 🐺 #galex #f1 rpf #my writing #effervescentdragonwrites #it took me 4 times to spell that right