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#(-that he's subconsciously decided he's not going to talk much about any of them. because there's just too much.)
magnusmodig · 1 month
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rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !
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╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?
||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.
So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)
Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time. And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)
The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.
#(yknow what sucks most about this is that 2011-2015 thor was on a trajectory where)#(while he still wouldn't talk about a lot of things he wasn't as firmly rooted in /absolute denial/ like he is now >>)#(he would lock up and not talk about his personal feelings but he was still /thinking/ about them)#(- and could grow ready to share his thoughts once he processed through all of it.)#(or at least he would broach the broad concepts while still lightly brushing over 'k but how did it make THOR feel')#(dude would rather choke than talk about his own feelings no support system for thor he's so dumb)#(which is also just so funny because he never /denied/ the fact that he's feeling under the weather either)#(he just... won't elaborate on why he is or how to feel better.)#(but anyways)#(to rationalize the trajectory shift away from 'thor being able to talk about deeply upsetting topics for him even if it's uncomfortable')#(i've decided that so much has happened in such a short amount of time and there's /so/ many things eating at him-)#(-that he's subconsciously decided he's not going to talk much about any of them. because there's just too much.)#(the vibe of 'if i talk about this now i'm going to fall and if i fall i don't know if i can get up again because it's finally too heavy)#(-and i can't afford to fall down bc there's too much at stake outside of me so i just will not take the chance')#(he can if he's ever with someone he truly trusts and he can speak about it NORMALLY if that person pushes him enough)#(because you've always had to needle thor to /actually answer your question/ rather than talk half-way around it)#(//stares at thor 2011 where he never opens up to jane even once not even at the fire-side chat)#(but until then it's big denial mode bc ragnarok messed him up something fierce and i'm not even talking about-)#(-the order of in-universe events that happen in the movie orz)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( answered . ) — black feathers fall to a raven's call .#clxscdeyes#( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .
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userlando · 9 months
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fill her veins — lando norris
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lando norris x fem!reader [3.5k] summary: your friend’d had you in all the different ways. fast and hard, deep and bone rattling but this was his favourite. lazy, slow and deep. warnings: 18+ explicit smut & language, friends with benefits, porn without plot, lazy sex, unprotected (piv) a/n: to the anon that dropped this concept in my ask box, I hope you don’t mind that I took the idea and ran with it. I have so many drafts to finish but this just wouldn’t leave my mind. consider this as a thank you for all the amazing love you’ve poured me with lately, I love you guys so much!! lmk what you think of this!
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Lando has an odd taste for trashy reality tv shows. He claims that he doesn’t, that he usually puts them on for background noise but he always ends up settling down on the nearest flattest surface; Eyes glued to the screen. It’s funny, it’s not something you’d expect and most of all, you don’t really mind it. Because he doesn’t care if you don’t pay any attention to it, as long as you’re either in his lap or spooning him.
He’d texted you earlier tonight and you hadn’t expected it, not really. You figured that after the long weekend in Belgium, he’d be ready to travel where the wind took him without any worry about the next weekend where he’d have to show off his best side and bring home a win for his team. Lando had talked about the Maldives and even Singapore, hinting at you coming with him but you’d been quick to shut him down, claiming that your life couldn’t be put on hold. Because it couldn’t.
But he’d gone home, spending exactly three hours with Max before the fucker abandoned him to hang out with his girlfriend and Lando was bored out of his mind when the flat got too quiet, so quiet that he could hear the neighbours flushing their toilets. Then you’d sent him a funny video of cats and Lando had responded with an ‘are you home?’ after laughing himself silly to the video.
That was three hours ago, he’d pressed a smacking kiss to your cheek when you’d opened the door for him, sniffing the air because he could clearly smell the bolognese that you’d made, giving you a look that you recognised so intimately. You’d seen the pleading look plenty of times in various situations, and now it was saying ‘can I please have whatever’s cooking in the kitchen?’ And who were you to deny him?
Lando had shovelled a plate and a half of spaghetti, moaning over how good it was and completely ignoring your rolling eyes of fond exasperation and a little shyness, and then the both of you had settled on your sofa on top of each other with Love Island playing in the background.
You were dozing, half conscious and absolutely not interested in what was going on, but Lando? Lando was enraptured, eyes shining with interest in the dark when you tilted your head up to look at him. The glow of the television cast pretty shadows on his face, the long eyelashes and the beard he’d decided to grow out on his upper lip and chin. It looked good on him. And better yet, it felt good on your sensitive skin. There had been too many times to count where he’d rub it raw and sore, between your legs so you couldn’t wear dresses and skirts in fear of your thighs rubbing together, or your face when he kissed you as deeply as he did.
You still remembered the time when you’d put on an excessive amount of lipbalm after a night of heavy petting, catching Max’s raised eyebrows across the table. He didn’t say anything, but he might as well could have with how expressive his eyes and face were. It was unnerving.
Lando sensed you shifting on his chest, peering down at you with his bushy eyebrows pulled together. It was dark, the television the only provider of light but you saw the confusion clear as day in his eyes as they flitted across your face, trying to gauge your facial expression.
“What?” He asked, hands halting where they’d been stroking up and down your back subconsciously. You immediately missed the soothing motion of them, having gotten quite used to the impromptu back massage.
“Nothin’.” You murmured, laying your head back down with your ear pressed to his chest.
The steady beat of his heart was like music to your ears, lulling you to a slow sleep that you could almost see on the horizon and Lando wasn’t making it any easier to stay awake with the way his hands were gently scratching your back with his blunt fingernails over your shirt. He knew you loved it, did it as often as he could.
You let out a pleased little hum when his hands found their way under your shirt, fingertips mapping out the bumps of your spine. Up, up, up, and then he stopped with a small noise in his throat.
It made you hide a smile into his hoodie, knowing exactly where his mind was going when his fingers travelled to either side of your back; Right where your bra strap would’ve went, if you were wearing one.
Lando clearly seemed pleased with his new discovery, heart thudding just a little harder under your ear as he shifted beneath you. You sucked in a quiet breath, looking up at him just in time for him to stare back.
“No bra, eh?” His lips pulled into a slow, playful smile that had you smiling, tongue in cheek. “Cheeky.”
“I never wear one around the house, twat.” You pointed out.
“Fair enough.” He nodded, tightening his arms around you to force you upwards on his chest, putting you face to face. “Hi.”
He blinked up at you, slowly, like sleep was on the doorstep and knocking. Lando looked tired but there was an underlying layer of lust in his eyes that you’d come to recognise. It never failed to send a thrill up your spine and it was what prompted you to close the small distance between the two of you, noses brushing against each other as he exhaled teasingly.
“Lando…” You frowned as you went to kiss him, only for him to pull away.
It didn’t escape you how whiny you sounded, but you hadn’t gotten laid in almost two weeks and he’d been sending you very suggestive photos and texts when he was away.
Never mind that you’d started it, firing off a photo with no additional text of your tits, knowing that he was most likely in a briefing with his team and there was a major chance that someone nearby would see the photo over his shoulder if he’d open it up without any warning.
But you didn’t care. It’s what made it fun, after all. Especially when he’d sent a series of exclamation and question marks, cursing you out for doing it so publicly.
“You’re so impatient, darling.” He tsked you, nipping your lower lip when you pushed forward in hopes of him kissing you.
You pouted until his face broke out into a smile, bringing a hand up to the back of your head; Fingers sliding into your hair for a grip as he finally pushed his lips against yours.
It was slow and chaste at first, a kiss to your upper lip before he sucked on the lower one, relishing in the stuttered exhale you released into his mouth. There was no denying that Lando was a good fucking kisser, ever so patient and passionate and it was only made evident when he pried your lips apart to taste your tongue. His hand spanned against your cheek, thumbing your chin to keep your mouth open as he licked into it. You could taste the faint spices of the food he’d had earlier, along with the sweetness of the bag of Squashies you kept in your pantry, only because he liked them. It was a heady mix.
You couldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t erotic, that it didn’t make your toes curl and your spine tingle with all kinds of emotions when his tongue slid against yours so sensually. He truly took his time, loving on your lip and kissing you so thoroughly that you were out of breath and a little dazed by the time he pulled away. He thumbed your lower lip, his own smiling and pink, bitten raw.
Lando allowed the both of you a few seconds to catch your breaths, immediately going for another round but this time he dove straight in, kissing you deeply. It was when the both of you started to let out these breathy little moans against each other’s mouths and grinding slowly that Lando took action, sliding his other hand that had been idle on your back, down your spine and slipping into your shorts.
He felt the curve of your ass, his palm swallowing up your cheek as he grabbed it in a painfully delicious grip that had you grinding down against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Your lips dropped open, moaning into his mouth when you felt his hardness press against your crotch. It relieved a little pressure off of you, but there was no denying that you were soaking and in need of more. More of Lando, more of his touch.
“Fuck, I love this arse.” He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth when his hand tightened on the flesh of your cheek, fingers no doubt bruising the skin. It felt amazing. “Can’t wait to taste you.”
You made a noise of protest against his cheek, where you’d been pressing your face against it, hands cupping his cheek.
“No,” you murmured against his mouth before kissing him. “No tasting, just need you inside me.”
Lando nodded gently, reaching a hand down to your shorts in a practiced motion to run his fingers gently between your folds. His eyes left yours to look at your crotch, jaw going slack at the wetness he found there and you whimpered when his wet finger touched your clit, circling it until you were squirming.
“Need you.” You murmured against his ear, pressing your face to the side of his and nudging your nose against his cheek.
He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to because he was already slipping a finger into you; a second one joining him soon after. Lando stretched you out, feeling your warm breath against his cheek and hearing your poorly concealed moans of pleasure as he worked you, sounding a lot like heaven to his ears. He crooked his fingers and fucked you gently, thumb notching against your swollen bud just to hear your breathing pick up.
It was a telltale sign that you were close, hands clutching at his hoodie, right over his chest and it made his head dizzy how your legs were locking up around his hips the closer you got. He turned his head to find your lips, messily slotting them over your mouth and swallowing your high pitched groans as you came around his fingers.
Your body shook, hands flexing in their tight grip of his hoodie and Lando marvelled at the sighs and sounds you were making, letting you trap his bottom lip to suck on it. That one gesture made every ounce of blood rush to his cock, so fast that he almost went dizzy with it and he hurriedly pulled his fingers out of your tight clench, sliding his fingers into his mouth for a quick taste of your juices.
You made a small sound of protest, feeling boneless and too tired to chastise him for making such a show of it. He loved making you come on his fingers, loved it even more when he could suck the slick off of his digits because you’d always squeak in embarrassment and swat at him with your hands.
It took a lot of effort to adjust yourself on top of him, reaching your weak arms down between the two of you to pull at his shorts. Lando wasn’t much of a help, watching silently as you yanked his shorts down far enough to get his cock out. It was rigid, sticking up so lewdly and flushed pink and you licked your lips; craving to get your mouth on it.
But you were too tired, and Lando was clearly way too impatient to wait any longer as he pulled your shorts and underwear to the side, grabbing himself by the base to guide himself to your centre. You bit your lip, anticipating the burning stretch but he didn’t push in, sliding his length between your lips to slick himself up instead.
You opened your mouth to tell him to get on with it but the words died on your tongue along with your last brain cell when the head of his cock nudged your clit, making you shudder at the unexpected sensitivity.
“Fucking hell,” Lando cursed in a murmur, sounding dazed and not at all there.
Your eyes flickered up to him just in time to witness as he brought his other hand to his mouth, dribbling saliva onto the length of his fingers and bringing it back down to stroke his cock. It was lewd, so disgustingly hot and you had to have him right now.
Lando must’ve felt the same because he was finally moving, notching himself against your hole and waiting for your wordless consent that contained of a quick nod and a needy sound, before he raised his hips and pushed himself into you.
You responded with a keening sound, pushing your hips down and taking way more of him in the process than you were ready for. It burned, stretched to the limit with only spit and slick to help you take him, but you both had worked with less before.
And Lando knew how to read your body, knew that your fisted hands meant for him to pause, to breathe and let you get used to his size. It never got easier, there was so much thickness to him that could simultaneously bring so much pleasure, but also pain if you weren’t too careful.
A sadistic part of you loved it though. You loved feeling him for days after a good lay, would often rile him up to the point that he’d bend you over and fuck you silly.
Your skin still tingled when you thought of the early days of your arrangement, where you’d been at his place late at night. You’d played Call of Duty and gotten him so worked up that he shoved you down on the sofa, ass up and face down, pulling a bone shattering orgasm from you with the help of his sinful mouth before he fucked you so hard that you were drooling and muffling your moans into the cushions. It was a worthless effort though, Max had heard you and he’d made it clear during breakfast the next day.
“You good?” He asked, touching your chin with his thumb and you blinked, realising that you’d drifted someplace else completely.
You nodded slowly, holding his gaze as he pulled back and thrust forward, rattling your bones and pulling a moan from your lips. Your fingers ran through the hairs on the back of his head, pulling his face close to yours as he started fucking you slowly, reaching so deeply inside of you that the sensations made your eyes flutter and roll.
Lando had a hard time keeping his eyes open and on you, watching your mouth gap open and closed in unintelligible words and sharp gasps, eyelids fluttering shut. He kissed you when you started moving your hips against his, adjusting your positions so you were fully straddling him. It must’ve done something for you because you were suddenly pulling at his hair, his head going back with it and mouth going slack around a groan.
It put your mouth in level with his throat, thick and exposed, so pretty that you couldn’t help but suck bruises into the vulnerable skin.
You moved against each other, fucking slowly like you had all the time in the world, kissing and bruising each other up with the help of your hands and mouths.
Your friend’d had you in all different ways. Fast and hard, deep and bone rattling but this was his favourite. Lazy, slow and deep. Where he could feel every tight and warm crevice of you, feel you slicking him up the wetter you got.
Lando’s breaths grew deeper, groans becoming more guttural and you knew he was close to his climax; riding him just a bit harder to help him get there.
He slid both hands around your hips, slipping into your shorts and grabbing your cheeks in bruising handfuls with a moan; Needy and whimpering against your mouth and you kissed him harder in response.
His fingers slipped between your ass cheeks, and the slight touch to your hole took you by surprise, your body suddenly seizing up as you cried out your sudden climax. It was like the breath had been punched out of you, coming so hard on his cock that Lando had to stop the movements of his hips because the tightness became too restrictive.
The both of you grabbed at each other, mouth to mouth, stealing each others breath as Lando fucked up once, twice before he released a guttural moan; shooting off into you.
You could feel him inside, feeling all too sensitive and absolutely exhausted from your orgasm to do anything but take it. Lando was giving off these small moans, gasping like he couldn’t breathe properly and it was only when he started shuddering from oversensitivity that you attempted to get off of him.
He slid out easily, cock wet as you dripped with him and it was such a filthy sight that you couldn’t help but flush warmth all over.
You knew that you’d have to get up eventually and shower, feeling disgusting and entirely too warm to stay wrapped in each other. But Lando wasn’t ready to let you go yet, and neither were you, to be honest. You let him wrap you up in his arms, nuzzling his face into your throat and exhaling tiredly.
“That was exactly what I needed.” He murmured hoarsely into your throat.
You hid a smile into his damp curls, cupping the side of his face and bringing his head up to face you. He blinked, squinting eyes and blown out pupils, and you thought that he’d never looked as good as he did now. So relaxed with no worry in the world.
It was hard to refrain from kissing him, pushing small kisses to his cheeks and one to his lips that he tiredly responded too. It was like it took way too much energy to move his lips, and it made you smile when he whined.
“Can you carry me to bed?” He asked and you reached your fingers up to pinch the tip of his nose.
“Absolutely not.” You wiggled on top of him, pulling a strangled sigh from his lips. “We need a wash first, and you’ve got a lot of work to do.”
That made him crack an eye open to stare at you in confusion.
“Work?” He frowned.
“You came in me, you’ll get it out.” You said, like it was obvious.
Lando’s eyes narrowed, “You’re the one who likes it.”
“I didn’t ask for it.”
His hand came down on your ass cheek, the slap hard enough to make you jump with a yelp. You glared at him with no real malice, ignoring the spike of heat that the unexpected pain sent up your spine because now was not the time to delve deeper into your interests of pain.
“You didn’t have to.” He said, matching your defiant tone of voice now. “Your body said it all, baby.”
You faked a gag, moving to roll off of him and he let you go without any fight.
“You’re gross. Get out of my flat.”
Lando cackled, making a poor attempt at sitting up on the sofa. You watched him struggle for moment, trying not to smile in amusement at the way his hair was all messy, curls wild and unruly.
“I’ll help you out,” He said and you knew there was a catch coming, judging by the tone of his voice. “If I can go down on you.”
You grimaced, as if the thought of him licking you clean didn’t make you clench. It wasn’t really a normal occurrence, but it did happen on rare occasions. Lando was a lot filthier in bed than you’d originally thought, and discovering his kinks had been an adventure so far.
“Oh, fine.” You sighed with a flourish, like you were doing him a favour rather than the opposite. “But you have to wash my hair first.”
You had your back turned to him now, walking in the direction of your bathroom but you could almost hear Lando’s exasperated eye roll, making you a hide a smile as you pushed the bathroom door open.
“Blow me.” He muttered.
“Maybe I will.” You teased.
Lando gave you no time to turn around, crowding up behind you and wrapping his arms around your torso to bring you flush against him. The sharpness of his teeth on your shoulder made you squeal with a giggle, squirming in his hold but he was too strong.
“Come on then,” He pressed his face to the side of your neck and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Get your ass in there, I want to get my mouth on you before you start dripping.”
You’d never moved faster than you did.
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holllandtrash · 1 year
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6 to 1 | lando norris (part 7)
pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader part 7 in the 6 to 1 series (read part 1 here)
the lead up to the silverstone race is treacherous, painful and downright confusing, and you're not referring to the weather. you find yourself being pulled in different directions and just when you think you've figured it out, your path leads you right back to where you started in the first place
word count: 6.9k tags/warnings: just a lot of angst im sorry
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Usually, when you attended the races, you were there all weekend. From Friday morning till the end of the podium ceremony on Sunday. But for Silverstone, you were dreading walking into that track and seeing Charles so you pushed back your travel plans and decided to only go for the race.
Lando ordered a car for you to take to the hotel Saturday night, something that he really didn’t have to do but he insisted on it and you were starting to figure out which battles to pick with him. This was not one of them. 
He had to be at the hotel with his team Wednesday night, so you really didn’t get to spend too much time with him after the shoot with Quadrant. 
Which, honestly, you were okay with. You needed to pack as you were heading straight back to Monaco the following Monday with Charles and Arthur. You weren’t looking forward to that plane ride. If you were lucky, Charles would have a good weekend and he wouldn’t bring up Lando.
But the second the car pulled up to the hotel, a few drops of rain hit the windshield. The driver made a comment about how conditions would only get worse for tomorrow and you so desperately wanted to ignore the possibility of a wet race, however that seemed to be what everyone was talking about in the lobby.
You picked up your room key and texted both Lando and Charles that you arrived. Lando texted you back immediately saying he was in a briefing with his team but that he’d stop by your room after and Charles, without any context, sent you '1125'. His room number.
You dropped your luggage off, but didn’t give yourself any time to settle in before heading up the few levels to floor 11. Charles didn’t have to say anything other than his room number, you got the hint. He needed to talk to you. 
The door swung open as soon as you knocked. 
“Look I don’t want to fight,” you started off, already sounding defensive as you followed Charles into the hotel room. 
“I don’t want to fight either,” Charles agreed with you, opening up the mini fridge to pull out a bottle of water. “I just want to know what’s going on in your head, Y/N. What are you doing getting involved with a driver?”
“Lando’s just a friend,” but even you didn’t believe your own words. 
Charles gave you a look, one that told you he saw right through your bullshit and you pulled your fingers through your hair, needing a way out of this that didn’t paint you or Lando as the bad guy. 
“Okay fine,” you shrugged helplessly. “I like him, I think. Is that what you want me to say? It’s not as though I’m dating him and even if I was, what’s the big deal?”
You probably didn’t need to add that last question. It was just an open invitation for Charles to tell you everything that was weighing heavy on his mind.
“This is a dangerous sport, Y/N, but this is what all of us drivers have signed up for.” Charles started off with what you already knew before hitting you where it would hurt. “We know the risks when we get in the cars, but we don’t have to think about anything besides what’s on the track…” his pause was deafening. “But if you started dating him, that’s an entirely new element that’s now being introduced to the race.”
You scoffed, “No it’s-”
Charles held up his hand. “Listen to me, Y/N. You would be on the back of my mind if I’m ever even near him on the track. And you’ll always be on his. He might stop pulling risky moves, knowing that if anything happened to him, it would destroy you and not only that, there would be no more racing between us because subconsciously, you’ll be in the cars with us, telling us not to fight, not to put our lives at even more risk.” 
He reasons for you not wanting to date a driver lined up with yours, but he was able to offer it from the perspective behind the wheel.
“It’s the same reason why I’m terrified for Arthur to ever move up to F1,” Charles further explained. “I would jeopardise my own race for him, for his safety. I would do anything to protect him and I would do anything to protect you. If you started dating Lando, then that need to look after you, automatically extends to him.”
You felt sick. You needed to lean against the wall behind you, feeling your legs grow numb. The worry in Charles’ eyes assured you that he was no longer upset or mad about you going behind his back to hang out with Lando, he was now concerned for what lay ahead. 
“I love you and I want you to be happy, I want nothing more than for you to find a partner to be happy with,” Charles rubbed his hand over his face as he shook his head. This was as painful for him to get out as it was for you to hear. “But selfishly, I don’t want you to put your happiness in another driver.”
There really wasn’t anything for you to say. Charles had every right to be selfish. This was his career, his life. You weren’t supposed to be any more intertwined in it than you already were. 
You pushed yourself off the wall, ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach as you turned to walk towards the door. 
Charles tried to follow, “Y/N, I didn’t mean-”
You held up a hand towards him as you turned and forced a smile on your face. You really didn’t want to fight. You loved your brother, you wanted to respect what he was asking. He had given you so much. Because of him, you had dozens upon dozens of opportunities and met the most incredible people. 
You could give up this thing with Lando, whatever it was. And better you did it now before it became too hard to walk away.
“You should get some sleep” you told Charles, your voice almost caught in your throat. “I’ll, um, I’ll see you in the morning.”
You left his room without another word. The elevator ride back to your floor was slow, treacherous even as you thought about what sort of conversation you needed to have with Lando. 
You’d wait till after the race. It wouldn’t do anyone any favours to call this whole thing off right before his home race. The least you could do was wait until after to break his heart. 
But then the elevator opened and you saw the driver who had taken up all of your thoughts leaning against your hotel room door. He put his phone away when he looked up and spotted you. His smile broke you. For so long you wanted to be the reason for it and now you were going to be the cause of why it would disappear. 
“How was the drive?” Lando asked, stepping out of the way for you to unlock the door. “It’s starting to rain, hey? The team thinks it’ll be pretty bad for most of the race tomorrow but what’s Silverstone without a little-”
“Lando,” you cut him off promptly, turning the handle to push the door open. You met his eyes for a second before you had to look away, before he could catch on that something was wrong. “Look, I’m really tired, I just want to go to sleep, I’m sorry.”
“Oh,” Lando was a little taken aback, but he didn’t try to talk you into staying up. He reached forward and gave your hand a squeeze, “Okay, yeah, get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
All you wanted to do was pull him into your hotel room and spend the next few hours with him until he had to leave to go to bed. Even then, you’d probably be able to convince him to just spend the night with you. 
But you couldn’t do that. The most you could do was offer up a sliver of a smile before walking into the room and letting the door shut behind you. 
Suddenly, a wet race for tomorrow seemed like the least of your worries.
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You arrived at Silverstone with Charles. He had tried to talk to you all morning and it wasn’t as though you were mad at him, you were just frustrated with the position he had put you in.
It didn’t help that the second you scanned your badge and stepped past the gates, you felt the first raindrop of the day hit your cheek. You looked up, and even with the dark shades on, it was impossible to miss the incoming storm clouds.
“Wet race today, hey?” 
You turned over your shoulder to see Pierre scanning his badge as well. The two of you hadn’t spoken at all since your conversation in Montreal. You asked yourself why you even stopped walking to wait for him, especially since Charles had gone off ahead to get out of the rain.
“Still giving me the cold shoulder?” Pierre asked as he approached you. The two of you started walking down the paddock, thankfully the Ferrari motorhome was close.
“Still telling everyone we slept together?” You retorted and Pierre dipped his head back and laughed.
“Chérie, I told like four, maybe five people,” Pierre tried to play it off, but when he saw you weren’t about to give him the time of day, he grabbed your hand and forced you to stop walking. “Come on, we’re friends. Don’t cut me off like this.”
“No, you and Charles are friends,” you hastily pulled your hand away from his grasp. “I’m just someone who got caught up in the moment.”
It blew your mind how cocky Pierre could be sometimes. It almost made you want to tell Charles what happened just because you knew it would cause a fight between them. Maybe Pierre would second guess his actions if he was getting yelled at by his best friend.
And that way, Charles would have something else on his mind besides you and Lando. If anything bad happened on the track, not like you want something to happen, he could blame it on finding out about Pierre and you. Surely learning that his closest friend and sister slept together was much worse than whatever this fling was that you currently had with Lando.
Speaking of Lando…
You hadn’t even seen him walk through the gates. Your frustration, and therefore your attention, was solely on Pierre. It wasn’t until the bright orange hoodie became impossible to ignore that you pulled your eyes away from the French driver.
Recently when you looked at Lando, you felt a swarm of butterflies attack your stomach. 
Those butterflies were still there, but it was as if they were now trying to claw their way out of your stomach, fighting each other and making you suffer the consequences. 
You didn’t want to end things. 
You wanted to meet him halfway as he approached you and collapse in his arms, who cares who saw? You wanted to kiss him without a time limit and wish him good luck today. You wanted to hang out in the fucking McLaren motorhome which is something you never thought you’d ever find yourself wishing for.
“Little gloomy today, huh?” Lando asked, sounding a lot chipper than how you or Pierre looked.
You glanced up, as did Pierre and you shrugged. The less you spoke now, the easier it would be to end things later.
“It’s not too bad yet,” Pierre pointed out.
“Oh I was talking about Y/N’s outfit,” Lando joked, nudging your arm with his elbow. “What’s with the all bla- are you okay?” Lando's smile dropped and his tone did a 180 the second he noticed you weren’t in the mood for one of his jokes. He glanced between you and Pierre and not so subtly raised an eyebrow.
“I didn’t do anything this time!” Pierre announced, hands held up beside his head in defence as he started to walk away. “Paddock Princess over here was in a bad mood before I said anything.”
You watched him head off for a second before your attention went back to Lando. You tried to dodge his hand when he reached for your sunglasses but he was too quick, pulling them right off your face. 
“You’ve been crying.” 
“You should get inside before it really starts to rain.”
“Look either we keep stating the obvious or we talk about what’s going on,” Lando demanded, not giving you any other option. There was no lighthearted tone any more, no more playful attitude like he usually had when he saw you in the Paddock. 
More people started to walk through the gates, people that were going to want Lando’s attention if he didn’t keep walking, you both knew this. 
“Can we not have this conversation right here?” You asked him, lowering your voice as you nervously glanced around. Ideally, you wouldn’t even be having this conversation. 
And in a strange twist of fate, you got what you wanted.
Lando could see right through you, he saw the hesitation just from your stance alone. The guilt in your eyes was clear even if they were slightly puffy and bloodshot. They way you refused to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds told him that something heavy weighed on your shoulders, something heavy enough to take out the both of you. 
And Lando didn’t want to have this conversation either.
He might not have known exactly what was on your mind, but he didn’t need to ask anything to know it wasn’t good. That and how quick you were to turn him away last night, it was all starting to add up. No words needed to be spoken.
He handed your sunglasses back to you and nodded slightly, like he was accepting the outcome of this, like he knew he couldn’t change your mind, so why bother trying? He walked right past you without saying anything, but that’s what you wanted right? 
No conversation was easier than laying it all out on the table. It was easier to accept the reality as it was than to hear yourself say the words ‘we can’t be together’. 
You slid the sunglasses back on your face and waited a few seconds before heading towards Ferrari, making sure to stay on the opposite side of the paddock. Neither one of you so much as glanced at the other. You heard his name being called before you walked up the bright red steps and the moment you entered the motorhome, you let out the heaviest exhale that had been pressing against your chest. 
Was it even reasonable for you to be reacting like this? You weren’t even dating.
But you were throwing away the possibility of something great, all because you knew you had to put Charles first. 
He was the first person you saw when you walked inside and gathered your bearings. He was in the middle of a conversation with his assistant when you grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
“I hope you’re happy,” you spoke through a bitter laugh. “Me and Lando are done.”
He seemed confused, but when his features softened after a moment, you could tell that he was in fact pleased to hear this news.
“Good,” Charles nodded. “You shouldn’t date a driver anyway.”
“No you shouldn’t have this much say over my life, Charles,” you rubbed your hands over your face, letting what was once sorrow turn to anger. “It’s not fucking fair.”
“It’s not fair?” He raised his voice as well, neither of you caring about the handful of people that were nearby. “I put my life at risk every weekend, the least you could do is not give me something else to think about when I get in the car!”
“You don’t have to think about anything other than the points, don't worry.” You assured him. The venomous tone was impossible to miss. “And good luck today. Hopefully my heartbreak doesn’t ruin your race for you.”
Charles groaned, rolling his eyes at how dramatic he thought you were being, “Y/N-”
“Oh, no, wait, you only give a shit about my feelings when I start caring about a driver other than you, right?” You patted his shoulder, a bit of force behind it as you sucked in a sharp breath. “Brother of the year, over here.”
You walked past him and he was smart by not trying to talk to you, instead choosing to go up to his drivers room. You sat down on the couch in the hospitality lounge, lips pursed together tightly as the sound of raindrops hitting the window behind you started to grow loud enough to drown out your own thoughts.
You would have loved nothing more than for the race to start, to stand in the back of the garage and flip Charles off before he slid his helmet on. You wanted to flirt with Carlos right in front of your brother before he was inevitably dragged away. You wanted to watch the race and cheer Lando on for a change. You wanted to do anything and everything that would purposely get under his skin.
But things never seemed to work out in your favour. 
It was announced the race was postponed due to the oncoming storm and you stayed right there on that couch, watching everyone else scurry around to figure out the new game plan for the day.
Charles' assistant tried talking to you at one point, but you just shook your head. She got the hint and turned right around.
You weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone in the motorhome, that was pretty obvious. If the all black outfit wasn’t enough to deter people away already, your constant crossed arms and the fact that you wore sunglasses inside sure had people second guessing whether or not they wanted to approach you during the wait.
A couple hours went by and you received a few curious looks, but the only person who didn’t give a single fuck that you were purposely trying to look reclusive, was Carlos. 
He dropped down on the couch beside you, arm stretched on the back of the couch behind your shoulders as he playfully twisted the end of your ponytail around his fingers.
You yanked your hair out of his hand, “What do you want, Carlos?”
“Why are you in a bad mood?” He was straight to the point, you liked that about your friendship. There wasn’t any bullshit.
“I’m not,” okay maybe there was a little bullshit.
“Okay,” Carlos nodded, going right back to playing with your hair, “Why is Charles in a bad mood?”
“I don't know, it’s not my problem.”
“I think it is, hermosa,” Carlos snickered, “I think you two are each other's problems.”
“Fine, you know what,” you turned on the couch to face him. Carlos was a bit taken aback to see you give in and talk so easily, “Charles’ problem is that he thinks my life affects his and my problem is that I care too much about what Charles thinks. Do you see how this is a bad cycle for us to be in?”
Carlos paused. You could tell by the way his jaw tensed he was trying to figure out what to say, but you were purposely vague and the more time that passed with you just staring at the Ferrari driver, the more it sank in for both of you that he probably couldn’t help you.
“Is this about Lando?” Carlos eventually asked. “And how about how you two have been getting close recently?”
You inhaled a sharp breath, “This is about me practically being forced to put Charles first.”
“As opposed to…”
“Putting myself first.”
Carlos raised his eyebrows. Everything you said was just adding to the confusion and you eventually just gave up trying to keep it bottled in.
You repeated what Charles had told you last night. You told Carlos about the added risks Charles had if you started dating a driver, you shared the concerns and how guilty you felt for wanting to see things through with Lando when you knew you owed it to Charles to call things off. You expressed that you were upset and angry and broken and confused at the same time, which shouldn't have been possible.
“He told me he didn’t want me to put my happiness in a driver,” you rested your elbow on the couch, cheek to palm as you tried to ignore the pain of Charles’ words for the second time in less than 12 hours.
Carlos didn’t say anything for a few seconds. And then those seconds turned into a minute. And then that minute turned into three and you had to hit his arm to get him to look at you, worried that he had been thinking too hard and accidentally zoned out.
“Carlos,” your eyebrows furrowed together, “Say something.”
He opened his mouth, only to close it once again. You rubbed your hand over your face, wondering why you decided an F1 driver would make a good therapist. 
“I just-” Carlos couldn’t get the words out. “I don’t get it, is all. When we get in the car, we know that nothing else matters except the race. Charles doesn’t have the right to pull you into the car with him, metaphorically of course. If he does that and messes up his race, that’s his own fault.”
You wished that was the case, but Charles didn’t see it like that. 
“Okay, let’s say you were dating a driver, Lando, for example” Carlos started off, dragging his fingers over his lower lip. “Charles is the one who needs to learn how to separate it. He needs to learn when it’s time to see Lando as the competition and when to see Lando as the person who makes you happy.” Carlos dropped his hand to your leg, “That isn’t on you. That’s on him.”
“But it’s just going to make his life difficult and I don’t want that for him.”
“Charles is a grown man I think he can figure it out,” Carlos’s assuring smile spread across his face. “Plus with the amount of gossip that goes on in the paddock, I don’t get why this, your happiness, is what he’s choosing to make you feel guilty for.”
You nodded in agreement before Carlos’ words actually hit you. 
“Wait,” you pointed a finger at him. “What gossip?”
Carlos instantly knew he messed up, “I didn’t-”
“What. Gossip.”
But his silence said it all. This fucking Pierre bullshit was coming back to haunt you again. You dropped your hands to your face and let out a muffled scream. There were a handful of people who were nearby who gave you a look of concern, but none of them mattered.
When you looked at Carlos again, his face had gone red. 
“So you know and Charles knows?” You asked. “About me and Pierre?”
“Well he doesn’t-” he shrugged. “Charles has an idea but he’s not going to ask you or Pierre about it. He can pretend it didn’t happen if you never confirm it.”
“But he knows,” you clarified. It wasn’t your fault that Charles just wouldn’t accept the reality of what happened. “He knows and yet somehow, that doesn’t affect him on the track? He can race Pierre like normal but the second I’m actually happy with someone, it’s game over?”
Again, Carlos didn’t know how to respond and this time, you weren’t sticking around and waiting for him to. You stood up from the couch and walked up the stairs of the motorhome, knowing your brother was in his driver's room. Carlos was hot on your heels, probably regretting having dug this past up because whether he liked it or not, he was now caught in the middle of it.
You didn’t even knock on Charles’ door, you just swung it open. Charles was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, half dressed for the upcoming race. His fireproof long sleeve was on but his drivers’ suit was hanging around his hips. He looked up at you, confused as to why you just barged in.
You just blurted it out.
“J'ai baisé Pierre.” I fucked Pierre.
Charles’ mouth dropped.
You repeat yourself, in English this time. “I had sex with Pierre.”
He stood up, looking at Carlos behind you for help, but Carlos was just as stunned as he was.
Finally, you said it in Italian, just to get the message across loud and clear. “Ho dormito con il tuo migliore amico." I slept with your best friend.
Charles was speechless. He tried to sputter out the word ‘what’ but he had no voice. He just kept shaking his head, as if that would do anything.
“And-” you decided to keep going. Everything was already up in flames so why not keep feeding the fire, right?
You turned and grabbed Carlos’ shirt to pull him towards you. Before he had time to react, you pressed your lips to his. For a second, you did panic about not knowing whether or not he would even consent to this but when you felt Carlos start to kiss you back after a few seconds, presumably forgetting his teammate and your brother was standing right in front of you, you figured it was fine.
You pulled back and looked at Charles, “-I just kissed your teammate.”
“What the fuck-”
“I like Lando,” you harshly cut him off.
This was the first time you were saying it without the word maybe in front or i think following it. This was also the first time you didn’t feel any sort of hesitation. It was freeing.
“I like him. And I don’t know how strong these feelings are, I don’t know if they’ll last, all I know is that he makes me so stupidly happy, and selfishly-” you used his word against him. “-I want to hold onto that for as long as I can.”
You felt Carlos tap your shoulder and you held up a finger towards him, indicating that this was not the time to dissect that kiss. 
Charles looked ready to strangle you. And Carlos, but mostly you. “Y/N why are you saying this? Why did you just kiss him?” He gestured to his teammate. “What the fuck is going on? I race today and you think it’s smart to drop all of this on me?”
“Charles, you seem to think that what happens in my life affects yours, more specifically affects what you do on the track and I don’t think that’s the case.” You took a step forward, keeping your voice as calm and reasonable as possible as you said what you should have told him last night. 
“Really, it’s just what you choose to do with the information that you’re given and now you know everything. Now there’s three drivers on the track you might see differently as opposed to one and I know you. I know you’re a strong enough driver, and strong enough mentally, to not let any of this get to you. If you want your emotions to get in the way when you’re in the car, that’s on you. That’s not on me.”
There was definitely an easier way to go about this conversation. You didn’t have to walk in announcing you had sex with his best friend and kissing Carlos probably wasn’t needed, but it all furthered your point.
“My life is intertwined with yours. It has been since I decided to accompany you to all of these races and yes, I will be your biggest supporter but I will also live my own life at the same time,” slowly but surely you could see Charles' shoulders drop as he started to untense. “You can’t blame my feelings for Lando if you have a shitty race, okay? You can’t blame me.”
You started to back up and Carlos stepped out of the way for you.
“Where the hell are you going now?” Charles asked.
“To fix things,” you waved off his concern and practically ran down the stairs and out the front doors of Ferrari.
You were sprinting as you made your way down the paddock. The rain was coming down hard now and your eyes were set on the McLaren motorhome. 
You probably looked insane. Running down the puddle-filled paddock in platform boots without an umbrella but in all honesty, this was probably the best time for a grand gesture. Everyone who worked for the media was finding shelter right now, you were in the clear.
You walked up the steps but someone from the team who had been standing outside under the awning stopped you before you could reach for the door. 
“I’m sorry, Ms. Leclerc, you can’t just go in there, not without an invitation,” he told you, obviously recognising you as being Charles’ sister. It made sense. You were, by association, with Ferrari.
“I need to talk to Lando,” you wiped at your eyes, pushing the wet strands of hair out of your face. You felt around for your phone but came up empty handed, figuring you must have left it back on the couch in Ferrari. “Please, two seconds. That’s all I need. Tell him I need to talk to him.”
He held up a finger and opened the door to head inside. You waited for a second but your clothes were soaking, your hair was sticking to your face and neck. Your make up was ruined and the rain was freezing cold, so obviously you walked inside as well.
A hush fell over the motorhome when the door shut behind you. Mostly because you stood out like a sore thumb. Everyone was wearing orange, you were the only one dressed in all black and you were the only one who looked like they just jumped into a pool with all of their clothes on. 
You smiled awkwardly, shoulders tightening as you pressed your back to the door. You were wondering who was going to say something first, who was going to kick you out, and surprisingly the one who spoke up was Oscar.
“For christ sakes get her a towel or something,” Oscar called out, standing up from the table he sat at. You mouthed a quick thank you to him.
You and Oscar had never exchanged a single word before, maybe a smile here or there, but you were truly appreciative that he acknowledged you as someone who just needed to dry off right now, not as someone who was associated with Ferrari. 
Someone who worked with Hospitality crossed the floor with a few clean dish towels, telling you it was all she had at the moment. You thanked her and then looked up at Oscar who was also making his way to you. 
“Hi,” you breathed out, ringing out your hair. “I know I shouldn’t be here-”
“Oh I don’t mind at all,” Oscar laughed. “I take it you’re here for Lando?”
You didn’t nod. You actually didn’t say anything, your mouth just fell open and you forgot how to breathe when you realised that Lando had most likely told his teammate about you.
“I might be,” you reluctantly answered. “I might also be here because I heard that you guys have the best espresso machine.”
“Espresso is a piss poor reason to venture outside during a storm.”
You chuckled, nodding in agreement as you wiped the cloth under your eyes. The amount of makeup that had transferred to the towel was horrendous. You didn’t even want to know what you looked like right now. 
“Is he-” you glanced towards the staircase behind him. Why was it so hard for you to finish your sentences? Why was Lando clouding every one of your thoughts to the point that you couldn’t get more than a few words out? Why did he affect you so much?
At that moment, the security from earlier started to descend the stairs. Instinctively, you stood closer to Oscar, trying to make it seem as though he was the one who invited you in.
“He’s busy,” was all the McLaren employee said.
“Bullshit he’s busy,” you spat, coming across much harsher than you intended to. “The race is postponed, he’s not doing anything!”
“He told me to tell you he’s busy.”
You looked at Oscar, it was obvious he felt a little awkward standing in the middle of the conversation, but he wanted to help. What was good for his teammate was ultimately good for the team and Oscar so desperately hoped you weren’t here with malicious intent. 
“You can hang out in my driver's room,” he offered, his lips curving upwards into a smile. Oscar turned to the security, “She’s my guest too, it’s fine.”
This employee knew Oscar was lying through his teeth and all three of you knew Oscar’s room was right next to Lando’s. But because you were given the go-ahead from a McLaren driver himself, he couldn’t do anything to prevent you from walking up the stairs, boots squeaking against the floor the entire way. 
Glancing over your shoulder, you shot Oscar a thankful smile and he gave you a thumbs up. Part of you felt horrible for never giving him the time of day before. Subconsciously, you saw him as the driver who replaced Daniel and held a bit of a personal vendetta, but it was clear he had a good heart. 
You waited until the security guard looked away before sneaking around the corner to where Lando’s room was located. You read his name on the plaque a few times and thought about knocking, but if he knew you were outside the door he wouldn’t open it. 
So you turned the handle and pushed the door open. Lando wasn’t even in his racing suit, opting for a pair of joggers and a hoodie as he waited for the race start to be announced. He was leaning against the massage bed and looked up from his phone, barely even acknowledging you before turning right back to his phone.
“I don’t really feel up to chatting right now,” Lando muttered.
“Fine then just listen,” you walked in and shut the door behind you. 
Your heart was pounding and you would have liked to blame your trembling on the fact that you were just standing in the rain but you knew it was because you were finally about to be honest with Lando.
“I think I made a mistake,” you stated. Lando didn’t look up, choosing to disregard your words. You couldn’t blame him. You went from barely being able to look at him a few hours ago to dramatically confessing your feelings. “I didn’t want to admit it before, but Lando I really- I like you.”
“Yeah you like a lot of things,” Lando was unamused as he scratched the side of his face. “You like chocolate cheesecake, you like daisies, you like Daniel’s merch-” he inhaled a sharp breath, still keeping his eyes on his phone. “You like speaking French over Italian, you like supporting the underdogs, you like that you have a presence in the Paddock.” This was taking a turn, “You don’t like driving, you like when someone understands your humour, you like putting your family first even if it means putting yourself last, you love cooking, you have a weird obsession with shitty movies.”
 Finally he looked up.
“You like when people compliment you but you never know how to respond. You like being needed but you don’t like needing someone. You don’t like the unknown which is why a relationship scares you, regardless of who it's with. You like leading me on because you don’t care about the consequences afterwards and I fall for every word you say, every hypothetical you tease, because I think that maybe this time, it’ll be different, and do you want to know why I know all of this? Why I've put up with all of it?” 
This seemed like a rhetorical question but you responded meekly anyway, “Why?”
Lando paused. He pushed himself away from the bench and walked towards you slowly. His jaw tightened, there was no trace of a smile. Even if what he had to say was good in nature, it was only going to destroy you. 
“Because I like you,” he said, sounding so sure of himself and simultaneously like he wanted to take back those words the second he said them. “But I’m not about to waste my time at this halfway point with you. There’s a line here and I’m willing to cross it, to meet you so far past the middle it to make this work, but I don’t think you can say the same. So until you decide, fully and completely, what you want…stop stringing me along.”
Lando had never been so serious before.
Your entire friendship, relationship, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it, was playful and fun and he was the reason why your jaw hurt from laughing. He was the person who wanted to take care of you, to make you smile and now he was so close to giving up on all of that, all because you were going to put Charles first.
You genuinely couldn’t blame him. You had been back and forth for weeks. It may not have clicked until now, but you had been leading him on. He had done so much for you and practically overnight, you were nearly ready to forget all of it.
There was a knock on the door. Neither of you made the move to answer it, instead letting whoever was on the other side inform Lando through the wall that it was time to change and head down to the garage. 
He was waiting for you to say something. He was waiting for you to tell him that you wanted him. And you knew you did, but why couldn’t you open your mouth? Why did your fears outweigh what was right in front of you? Why was it still so hard to let yourself be happy with Lando?
Lando nodded, accepting once again that no answer was probably better than the answer he didn’t want to hear. He gestured towards the handle of the door. Without saying a word, he was politely asking you to leave. 
And because you still couldn’t say anything, because you couldn’t meet him halfway, you left. You stepped out in the hallway, avoiding the eyes of nearby McLaren employees as you walked down the stairs. You passed Oscar before reaching the front doors and he gave you a hopeful look, curious if all was worked out between you and his teammate. 
You shook your head, still unable to find your voice. 
When you stepped outside, it was still raining but it had eased up. It was a light drizzle compared to the storm you ran through earlier. 
By the time you made it back to Ferrari, most people had already left to go to the pitlane and the garage.
An exception to that was Charles.
“Don’t,” you demanded. You didn’t want to hear anything from him, but he was clearly waiting for you. He didn’t comment on your rung out appearance or your smeared makeup. It wasn’t his place to, anyway. He just stood up and walked over to you, zipping up his racing suit in the process.
“I stand by what I said,” Charles declared and all you could do was roll your eyes as he continued. “You shouldn’t put your happiness in a driver.”
“And what if I already did?” You retorted, quite loudly. “What if I already did and I didn’t realise it until it was too late and now- and now I have nothing? What if I’m worse off now than I was before?”
For a split second, you could see it in his features. Charles was conflicted too. 
There was Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc. The man fighting for championship winning points. The guy who risked his life every time he stepped into the cockpit of the car.
And then there was your older brother. The one who hated that he was the one who put you in this situation. Your brother, the one who said he wanted to keep you safe, was the sole reason there was a sense of vulnerability and emptiness looming over you. 
You didn’t feel those things because you had feelings for Lando. You felt those things because Charles made you feel guilty for supporting someone other than him. 
And even after everything, after you came to the realisation that you wanted Lando, after you dropped a bombshell on your brother, after you ran across the paddock for some stupid grand gesture, where did you find yourself?
Standing in front of Charles.
No wonder Lando had his doubts with you.
“I can’t be here,” you admitted, your chest feeling tight once again. “I can’t watch the race, I’m sorry.”
For once, Charles wasn’t going to stand in your way. He had done enough damage.
“Take the plane back to Monaco if you want, there’s a car that will take you the airport-”
“No, I’m not going to Monaco,” you shook your head. Monaco was the last place you wanted to go. You didn’t want to walk into your empty flat. There was nothing for you there.
There was nothing for you here either. You couldn't stand to look at Charles. Lando wasn't going to talk to you until you figured out what your intentions were but you couldn't figure it out if you were watching a race. You needed to leave.
And you needed to go to the one place that actually felt like home.
masterlist here
taglist: @moneymasnn@thotd-f1 @masonspulisic @mcmuppet@f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @themisric @happydazzz123 @moonxblossom @norrisleclercf1 @scarlettisconfused @sbgal @e-lisa-bettan @harrysdimple05 @ophcelia @alesainz @fandomxs1 @majx00 @sbgal @mehrmonga @themockingjayreader @f1mockingjay @topguncultleader if i missed anyone im so sorry
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444takeomi · 7 months
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WHEN HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU
: ̗̀➛ summary: how 1st gen bd act when they like you
character(s): shinichiro sano, wakasa imaushi, takeomi akashi, keizo arashi
warnings: female reader
wc: 2.0k
a/n: i wrote most of this after having worked a 70+ hour week. apologies if it doesn't make a lot of sense, i was very tired as you can imagine💀
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: ̗̀➛ shinichiro
- shin is very open about his feelings, to the point where it's not even really a secret that he likes you — especially if you're close friends with him, there's a good chance you know already ahaha
- i think he's the type to get flustered whenever you initiate physical touch, even if it's accidental
- one time at the bike shop you unknowingly brushed your hand against his when you passed one of his tools to him and he literally thought about it for the rest of the day
- he's so touch starved </3
- his friends constantly make fun of him for the way he acts around you, while his siblings tell him you're way too pretty for him and out of his league
- he really can't catch a break💀
- shin gets upset if he finds out another guy likes you too, and he can't help but feel jealous whenever you laugh or smile more around the other guy than you do with him </3
- he really wants to impress you, he likes telling you stories from his black dragon days and goes into detail about all the fights he got into — he definitely over-exaggerates them a lot though and leaves out the parts where he got his ass handed to him💀
- if at any point he overheard you say you hated smokers he would literally try to quit just for you, or at the very least put out his cigarettes and avoid smoking when you're around him
- he’s such a cutie, he secretly watches those youtube videos titled ‘how to be a good boyfriend’ and ‘how to get your crush to like you back’ </3
- whenever shin notices you're nearby he subconsciously starts fixing his appearance — he’ll straighten his posture and run his fingers through his hair, he always wants to look his best in front of you
- if you ever compliment his cologne he makes sure to wear extra when he knows he's going to see you that day, he also likes to spray it on his hoodies and jackets and offers them to you when it's cold
- speaking of which, his heart literally skips a beat whenever he sees you wearing his clothes, it makes him feel like you're already dating and he can't help but start daydreaming about what it might be like being yours </3
- shin really wants to ask you out, but after being rejected so many times before he can't help but worry that you'll reject him too — however he eventually decides to take the chance and tell you how he feels, it's not as if you haven't already caught on anyway
- if you reject him he'll obviously be super upset, way more upset than he was after any of his previous rejections, but to be honest he was probably expecting it </3
- on the other hand, if you accept his confession he’ll be very caught off guard after being turned down so much in the past, but he'll be super happy nonetheless and won't be able to stop bragging to his friends and siblings that he finally has a girlfriend, and how he's so lucky that he gets to be dating someone as amazing as you <3
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: ̗̀➛ wakasa
- waka isn't very vocal about his feelings towards you, and therefore he’s pretty good at hiding it to the point where almost no one would suspect that he liked you — but that's not to say his friends haven't picked up on it by now
- they constantly catch him staring at you, and he's really not as subtle as he thinks he is, half the time he's not even paying attention to them when they're talking to him because he's too distracted by how pretty you are
- if you end up noticing him staring he likes holding eye contact with you until you get shy and look away, he thinks it's adorable and it makes his heart flutter seeing you all bashful <3
- he usually has the same deadpan expression and rarely shows any emotion, but when you're around he's like a completely different person — he's noticeably more expressive and talkative and he smiles more often when he's with you
- he’s so in love </3
- waka is also considerably more touchy and clingy with you — it doesn't seem like anything out of the ordinary to most people, but if you pay close attention you’ll start to notice that he's always looking for the opportunity to sit next to you and be close to you wherever he can <3
- his love language is definitely physical touch, and he likes brushing his fingers against your skin and leaving fleeting touches whenever possible — he’ll feign innocence and pretend it was an accident but in reality he's totally doing it on purpose
- as much as waka likes physical contact, he always makes sure to respect your personal boundaries as he'd never want to make you uncomfortable
- he's the type to notice small differences about your appearance, like if you've changed your hair or done your makeup differently
- he pays a lot of attention to you, more than you probably realise <3
- i don't think waka would make a huge deal out of confessing to you, he'd probably either just come up to you one day and tell you straight up or alternatively he might drunkenly blurt it out to you by accident
- if it was the latter you most likely wouldn't take him seriously at first, and so he'd make sure to tell you again once he was sober, as he wouldn't want you to think he was just messing with you because he was drunk
- if you rejected him he'd definitely be humbled, as i don't think he's someone that’s used to being turned down, but he’ll respect your decision of course and hopes that you can still be friends
- now that he's finally struck out with a girl he knows that shin will have something to make fun of him for after years of being teased for his 20 rejections💀
- however if you accept his confession you’ll finally get to see the real waka, he stops holding back and becomes especially clingy and needy for your attention, a side of him that only you get to see <3
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: ̗̀➛ takeomi
- omi isn't the best at handling his emotions, especially when it comes to you — at first he was in complete denial about liking you, hoping that if he ignored his feelings towards you that they would eventually go away
- if his friends ever mentioned you or implied that he had a thing for you he would insist that you were annoying and would tell them he couldn't stand you💀
- little did he know they saw right through him, it was pretty obvious how fond of you he was just from the way he looked at you
- i feel like it got to the point where he was so stubborn about it that waka had to go as far as to pretend he was going to ask you out just to get omi to finally admit that he had feelings for you
- omi is the embodiment of being mean to you because he likes you — he's always teasing you and loves to push your buttons to try and get a reaction out of you, he thinks you’re cute when you get mad
- however if you tease him back it catches him completely off guard, he gets all flustered and starts stumbling over his words </3
- you always catch him looking at you from across the room, he tries so hard to play it off as if he wasn't just checking you out but he does it all the time to the point where it's obvious💀
- while omi may struggle with being affectionate towards you, the way he shows you he cares is through doing favours for you, for example by offering to take you home on his motorcycle
- beware of riding with him though because he likes to randomly speed up out of nowhere, you just assume it's because he's a bad driver but little do you know he only does it because he’s hoping you’ll get scared and wrap your arms around his waist
- if you do end up clinging to him he’ll more than likely make fun of you for it, but his heart will be racing the entire time — he’s just glad that you can't see his face because he can feel his cheeks getting warm </3
- similar to waka, if he was going to confess to you he wouldn't really make a big deal out of it either, i think he'd just casually mention that he liked you in the middle of a conversation and it would catch you completely off guard
- if you reject omi he’ll actually be so embarrassed, i feel like he'll immediately change the subject and act like nothing happened because he doesn't know how else to handle the rejection </3
- if you tell him you feel the same he might get a little cocky about it initially, but deep down he's just so relieved you didn't reject him — despite the confident front he puts up he was actually really nervous to tell you
- he probably tries to give dating advice to shin as if you two haven't only been going out for a few days💀
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: ̗̀➛ keizo
- benkei is such a sweetheart, but even more so when he has feelings for you
- i feel like he's the kind of person who just admires you from afar when he likes you — especially if you're close friends, he definitely doesn't have any plans to tell you as he wouldn't want to risk ruining the relationship you two already have </3
- although he doesn't want to outright tell you how he feels that doesn't mean he won't drop small hints here and there
- for example, he always offers to walk you home even if it's completely out of his way, and if you’ve forgotten your jacket when it's cold out he’ll drape his own over your shoulders as soon as he notices you shivering <3
- he’s also very protective over you, especially when you go out to places like bars or clubs — he watches over you throughout the evening just to make sure that no one is harassing you, and if someone does end up making you uncomfortable or puts their hands on you without permission he won't hesitate to beat the living shit out of them
- considering how strong he is, benkei is surprisingly very gentle with you
- he always seems to know exactly how you're feeling, and whenever you're sad he’ll engulf you in a big hug, holding you in his arms so delicately like you're made from the most fragile glass </3
- he also remembers a lot of small details about you that you've mentioned in previous conversations, such as your go-to orders from different restaurants or your favourite songs — he claims that he just has a good memory but in reality it's because he loves listening to what you have to say <3
- benkei cares a lot about your safety, whenever the two of you are out together he always walks on the outer part of the sidewalk so that he's closest to the cars, and if you go somewhere by yourself he’ll ask you to text him when you get there so that he knows you're okay
- he loves giving you head pats, especially if you're a lot shorter than him — he thinks the height difference between the two of you is really cute <3
- if you're into working out then he’ll invite you to train with him at the gym and will offer to spot you
- senju always makes fun of him for his crush on you, sometimes she deliberately teases him when you're around to the point where it's pretty clear that he likes you </3
- as i've mentioned, benkei will hint at the fact he likes you but i don't think he'd directly tell you, to be honest if you want to date him you’d probably have to be the one to ask him out yourself
- if you did end up telling him you liked him he'd be very taken aback by your confession, but after the initial shock wore off he'd of course tell you he felt the same way, unable to wipe the grin off his face <3
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please do not translate, repost, or share my writing on any other platforms eg. tiktok
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auroreliis · 8 months
Note
i just have one of the most life changing ideas ever and its- blind, deaf, and mute baking with the batfam. you can choose who’s who and who’s filming and who has the fire extinguisher ready.
Thank you for this request! It was entertaining to write :)
Yeah Alfred said no, so you had to wait until he and Bruce left the manor
Platonic Yandere!Batfam
Summary: Chaos in the kitchen (blind, mute and deaf baking)
CW: no warnings
(not edited or proofread)
This was going to be fun, that was for sure. However, the arguing that came along with it was maddening.
Currently all four of your brothers were talking over, shouting at and fighting with each other.
Together you had all decided to bake a cake while one of you was deaf, one mute and one blind. The only problem was that there were five of you, so either one role repeated or you had to find a different solution.
The primary source of the conflict was the question of who would have which role.
Dick requested to do it randomly, but Jason insisted that he and Damian should be mute, because they talk too much.
Damian, on the other hand, was not pleased with that solution and instead told Jason to just be deaf. However, Tim stated that he also didn't want to hear Damian and Dick talk.
Exhaling, you leaned your cheek against your palm with your elbow positioned on the kitchen counter. Maybe you should just call Alfred. The idea of all four of them getting in trouble was entertaining enough for you to subconsciously snicker. Just as quickly as it appeared, your smile dropped again when you heard what role they had decided for you.
"You'll be filming, alright, Songbird?", Dick pointed at you, expecting you to comply.
"What? No! I want to bake the cake too!", you protested, but to no avail. "No way! You'd burn the kitchen down", Dick dismissed you with the wave of his hand.
"Wow. So you trust Dick in the kitchen, but not me?", you turned to the others, not really believing they had any say in this at all. You were met with silence from their end.
Unbelievable. This was another thing about your new family. Everything fun was verboten. More specifically, anything that was even insignificantly risky, was off the table. Which sucked, since you were basically living off adrenaline.
You turned away from them to sulk in silence, knowing that they wouldn't change their minds.
By the time you had come to terms with the current arrangement, they had all settled and decided the following:
-Dick was mute
-Jason was deaf
-Tim and Damian were blind
While not completely satisfied, you realised that they would at least be somewhat entertaining to watch. Boredom was staring to get to you and you could only watch so many movies and TV shows before getting sick of them.
The start was...rocky, to say the least.
Tim and Damian were bumping into each other quite often. Neither were really happy when they realised who had just walked into them and after a while, they started searching for each other to purposefully bump into each other.
Dick was stressed, but you were having the time of your life. Sometimes you even called out to them, "Tim, watch out, Damian is to your left!", only to see them trying to ram into each other.
Dick was getting more peeved every time and his face always scrunched up. Every now and then, he would glance at you, wanting you to stop telling them each other's locations, but he could never ask you to stop. You were only helping your dear brothers stay safe, at the end of the day (and also he was mute).
Dick was having troubles. He relied on words so much, that being mute was really difficult for him. It was impossible to stand around and do nothing while the others argued and hit each other, but he couldn't diffuse any fights. He did try using sign language with Jason, but he mostly turned away from him and pretended to not to have seen him.
Jason often grabbed both Tim and Damian by the shoulders to guide them past any obstacles. What they didn't know, was that he would always make sure to leave some cake batter on their clothes. He would look to you afterwards and wink, implying that this stays between you and him.
Overall, Jason was doing great. He was in his own world, doing his own thing, listening to music and sometimes even humming or dancing along to it.
Damian was very irritated, especially when he, halfway through, noticed that his clothes were covered in cake batter. During the challenge, he often tried to identify Jason and trip him. He usually failed, since Jason avoided him, however he did succeed once. Jason fell and knocked Dick over along with him, luckily Dick couldn't say anything about it. Jason later tried to trip Damian as well, but he somehow managed to avoid falling every time.
Dick and Jason were the ones who did the most, because they could actually see, but Tim and Damian often tried to be involved more, even though it was a bad idea. Like when Tim accidentally knocked over the oil which Dick carelessly placed on the edge of the counter and Damian almost slipped on the puddle.
Tim stayed on the sidelines for most of the challenge. He did try to help, but it typically ended poorly. He just couldn't get used to the lack of vision. Even so, he did fling cake batter towards the source of Damian's voice when the latter mocked him for his lack of orientation.
When they had finally placed the cake into the oven, all of you exhaled in relief. You were starting to fear that you would suffocate from laughter. You had been laughing so much, that Dick considered setting up another camera, one which only filmed you and your radiant smile.
He did follow through with this. However, you only found out when you caught him rewatching the video a month later before going to bed. His proudest accomplishment, according to him, was finally making you enjoy spending time with them. You slammed the door when you left his room.
After a quick break you continued filming them when it was time to decorate.
Dick pushed everyone away and frosted completely by himself. However, nobody stayed still.
Damian, with sprinkles in hand, was tripped by Jason and stopped himself from falling by grabbing whatever was nearest to him. It just so happens that his hand landed on the cake.
Then another argument erupted, primarily because Jason was angry about the ruined cake.
Dick decided to rip off the tape from his mouth to diffuse the situation and end the challenge.
They all agreed that it was time to stop. You stopped filming and took a look around.
You lacked the vocabulary to describe the state of the kitchen after this challenge. "Chaotic" would be an understatement. Alfred would fall to his knees upon entering, only to quickly get up because his trousers would be covered in cake batter.
"So...when will dad and Alfred be returning?", you broke the awkward silence.
"I think they said on the 14th", Dick wiped his hands clean.
"Wait, what day is today?", Jason chimed in.
You were about to check on your phone when the sound of a door unlocking echoed through the manor
All of you exchanged looks.
Uh Oh...
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falling-star-cygnus · 3 months
Text
somebody reblogged my appleradio post and tagged it as "not a ship" ...
anyway, budding qpr Lucifer and Alastor because i love them :D Duckie Deer pt.1 {pt.2}
{Lucifer is hunched over his new desk in Charlie's hotel, his grin bordering on maniacal as he puts the finishing touches on his newest rubber duck. In a flourish, he holds the little thing high- or as high as he can feasibly reach anyway- in the air}
"Now presenting..."
{The King of Hell pauses for dramatic effect, despite not actually having any audience except the judgmental stares of his scattered ducks}
"The Wendigo Peace-Offering Red Radio Rubber Duck! ...That switches hands!"
{Lucifer grins a bit more genuinely as the little thing teleports from one hand to the other, twisting into the shadows between his fingers and out to his palm. The more tolerable version of it's intended recipient, he thinks}
{For the sake of Charlie, he had begrudgingly decided to try and befriend the agitating Radio Demon. After all, if they were going to be sharing the space here for the foreseeable future it only made sense for them to get along, right? Or at the very least, try to tolerate each other}
{And what better way to do that then with a rubber duck?}
"Heh heh heh..."
{The king chucks the duck at the door}
"Who am I kidding, nobody wants a rubber duck look-a-like. That's weird, it's a weird gift!"
{As Lucifer rants, he fails to notice the rubber contraption nailing the object of his ire in the forehead. It bounces with a squeak into red tipped hands}
"I'd argue talking to yourself is weirder, your highness."
{That familiar mocking drawl and static covering, the sarcasm on his title, it causes the king to whirl around. Alastor is indeed standing in front of his door, pinching the horn of the duck between his claws with a raised eyebrow}
"Alastor! Just the annoy- uh- just the demon I wanted to see. At this exact moment. ...How much of that did you hear?"
{Smooth. Totally nailed that.}
{One of the hair tufts upon Alastor's head twitches in his direction, confirming Lucifer's suspicion that they were, in fact, ears. It's embarrassing how much effort it takes to stifle the coo that wants to erupt from him at the subconscious movement}
{He has a feeling the Radio Demon wouldn't take kindly to it}
"Hm... Is there any particular reason for this... look-a-like, as you called it? I can't imagine anyone in either of circles would appreciate a duck of my visage."
{Oh good. So just the last part, then. He could still salvage this}
"It's for you!"
{…Damnit.}
{Lucifer sounded too eager. Waaay too eager, actually, if Alastor's steadily raising eyebrow was anything to go by. The king clears his throat}
"Ahem. Uh- it's for you, actually. A peace offering! Since we're going to be around each a lot more often, I figured- well, we might as well try to get along- right? For Charlie's sake. Not- not because you're tolerable. Or because I like you. Heh. No."
{The deer demon blinks slowly, raising the rubber duck up to his eye by it's horn. His perpetual smile- seriously, is that thing stitched on or something? -looks painfully strained.}
"Is that so?"
{His voice is less staticky then usual, which encourages the King to keep going. Lucifer nearly lunges forward, grabbing Alastor's hands and adjusting the duck to rest in one of the Radio Demon's palms}
{He feels a little bad for the flinch and hitch if static that comes with it, but he ignores it for Alastor's sake. He'd like a comment about that even less then a comment about his adorable ears}
"What are you do-" "It switches hands!"
{Alastor quiets at that, his glare softening just slightly around the edges with a blink. Again, Lucifer takes the small allowance and runs with it. He uses his thumbs to push against the joint of Alastor's fingers, furthering flattening his palms; an awkward laugh spills from him}
"Hah- Give it a try! Just- think about it switching and-"
{The duck slinks into Alastor's other palm before the king can finish his sentence. It goes back and forth a few times, filling the deer's eyes with a sense of unguarded wonder that has Lucifer's breath hitching}
{It's gone as soon as Alastor remembers his company}
{The Radio Demon pulls his hands away from Lucifer's, keeping the duck tucked securely in his hand. The king tries not to mourn the loss, both of his surprisingly warm fingers and of the glimpse into his head Lucifer was so graciously privy to today}
{Baby steps, he reminds himself. Something dangerously hopeful stirs in his chest}
"I see..."
{Alastor looks, on some level, like he's lost his footing. He came in here expecting to trade insults like usual, no doubt, especially after getting bonked with a rubber duck of all things upon entering}
{And instead he's left cradling a gift made in his image}
"Well! It'd certainly be rude to refuse such a thoughtful gift from his majesty. Even if it's a silly one."
{It's a feeble attempt at regaining control at best, they both know it. Lucifer sticks his hand out with a flat expression.}
"If you don't like it, give it back."
{Alastor's smile tightens, just like his grip on his rubber duck}
"Now, now, I just said it'd be rude to refuse. Surely your manner aren't lowering themselves to your height?"
{And just like that, normalcy is restored as Lucifer sputters at the jab. The king stomps forward, maybe childishly but no one who matters is around to judge him-}
"What did you even come up here for? If I recall, your 'radio tower' is on the other side of the other side of the-"
{The deer demon had stepped on a wild rubber duck in his subtle attempt to keep distance between them and with a burst of static, Alastor had begun to fall backwards}
{Lucifer acts on instinct and summons his cane,- he's pushed his luck with touch already today- bracing it behind the wendigo's back.}
{It leaves the two in an... awkward situation to say the least. Alastor's long legs pulled out from under him and his lanky torso held up purely by the thin rod of his staff.}
{It leaves Lucifer looking down for once to make eye contact}
"...who's the short one now?"
{Alastor melts into shadows, still holding the rubber duckie look-a-like in one hand as he reappears behind the king. He can feel the radio demon's hand on his collar preventing him from falling flat on his face.}
"Still you, my friend."
{...friend. Lucifer could get used to that.}
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sant-riley · 1 year
Note
is it ok to request some headcannons with the team? if so, could you do a reader that’s covered in tattoos? like heavily tattooed. even their fingers. right? anyways, the reader is always covered during missions (like ghost level covered) and the team have subconsciously created this image of them under it all but haven’t really seen them until one day reader is wearing normal clothes and they’re like 🧍‍♀️ what? you have tattoos and like barely any skin 🧍‍♀️ IDK I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CUTE NVM THOUGH IF U DONT WANNA WRITE ❤️ NO ISSUE IF YOU DONT!
[Task force 141 and Laswell with reader who has a lot of tattoos)
A/N: I am not heavily tattooed yet but I did love this request sm soooo here this is :) Ty for the suggestion and I hope you enjoy!
They can’t really be blamed for not knowing about the tattoos, y’all are all covered typically in heavy gear and clothing and weapons most of the time. And they don’t question it when you’re covered up even more than usual bc yk, Ghost exists walking around in a Halloween costume 365 days a year. They’re used to it so they won’t prod.
Most task force members have tattoos of their own, it’s not a strange concept but they just assume you have none, they see you covered up and that’s that.
But then one day, let’s say there’s a mission and you guys get fucking d r e n c h e d in water, and you’re in a cold climate so leaving your clothes on is not an option. They need to dry by the fire and you cannot catch hypothermia.
Whatever reason you cover up, you know it’s only logical so you shyly take off your gear, quickly going by the fire while the guys quietly stare at your figure, staring at the ink decorating your body. Yes you’re beautiful and yes it’s their first time seeing so much of your skin but is that a fucking narwhal on your arm-
You have to snap at them to quit their staring bc you think they’re only staring at your chest or at your underwear but soap just blurts out “YOU ‘AVE TATTOOS?” And everyone else nods.
~
Individual reactions:
Ghost:
Ghost fucking loves it so much, he could stare at your tattoos for hours on end. He rolls up his sleeves to show you the ones decorating his forearms, letting you trace your fingers over the skull and withholding a shudder.
He immediately brings his hand up and traces yours back, asking questions about them and how long they took with you sitting in the chair, grunting in response as he zones out.
Asks why you cover them up as often as you do but when you send him that look he quickly says never mind.
Soap:
He immediately asks you about the meaning (if you have any for them). He admires them and thinks they make you look beautiful and badass.
He also will take a marker and draw ones on your empty bits of skin and color any grayscale tattoos you have.
If you were to ever get one of his doodles or drawings tattooed he would probably tear up on the spot. Also maybe kiss you stupid bc wow you have something from him on your skin forever and he loves you sm.
Would design y’all matching pieces, in your line of work tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so if you’re down, he’ll make the appointment for you both.
Price:
I personally don’t think Price has tattoos or would ever get any bc he doesn't care for them but he has an appreciation for yours.
Everyone would think he would be the type to talk down on them but all he said to you was “do you like ‘em? You do? Then why the fuck would I care?”
In between breaks, he’ll casually ask if you got any new ones and that he’d like to see them.
Gaz:
Gaz doesn’t have any but that’s just because he can’t fully decide on what he’d get, he’s young like you and cannot handle the commitment.
Therefore he lives by you and eagerly encourages all your ink and will always go with you to your tattoo session if he’s free.
He’s the best kind of person to have come along esp for long sessions bc he’ll go get you food, drinks, etc while he sits with you.
He always says he’s gonna get one when he goes with but always said never mind lmao.
Bonus <3 Laswell:
Now she's no stranger to ink, she's not covered up but she does have a matching tattoos with her wife and a few small patches of her wedding flowers on her.
She absolutely adores your ink and will not hesitate to defend you and it if someone were to disrespect you bc of what you've done with YOUR body.
She's a mom what can I say, she knows her authority and won't be shy to use it.
Taglist:
@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess
@stupid-ninja @milkmily
@lune-la-chanson @tamayakii
@teacupcollector @sweet-as-an-angel
@perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains
@marsbar127xx @baddump
@xncasi @king-cookiex
@palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky @wolfyland07 @diejager
@hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom @solarslushee @areislol
@cluelessyasmin @sesshomaruwaifu @chaos-unchecked @kalamataolivesssss @arunasmisfortune @tbrfic
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implalazz · 3 months
Text
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Asked for some yokai fusions on reddit, this is the first batch
L-R: Frostysol, Nonoko, Venyan, Lord Lie-in, Slimatina, Whisbuzz
Some thoughts on these designs under the cut
Yayyyyyy thoughts on these because I like talking, esp about my creative process
Frostysol: I WILL SAY RIGHT NOW I KNOW I FUCKED UP THE KOSODE MASSIVELY, IT DOESN’T HAVE SLEEVES & IT’S TOO BIG….. I literally only had two ideas for this desgin, one was inspired by the yuki onna segment's backgrounds from Kwaidan & the other was inspired by the spirits from Kuro Neko. The eyes in the backgrounds of yuki onna were so striking & I had just watched the movie recently so it was still fresh in my mind. I knew I wanted her to be closer to a real yuki onna rather than just a cute snow girl spirit. And in that regard Kuro Neko helped with that. I guess subconsciously I wanted her to give off vibes of an unsuspecting girl who kills you & turns out to be a yokai. I thought a kosode would make more sense historically than a random cape, but also idk if young girls wore kosode like that or if it was just adult women. Had no ideas how to incorporate pallysol so I just used him for little details. He's more prevalent in the design intentionally than physically
Nonoko: Pretty simple what do I say. Uh I thought I could do a clover for the tail rather than a heart like Bloominoko. Wanted to make him even fatter than he is cuz he's Noko x2, also made his spots clover shaped cuz what's more lucky than a four leafed clover? An eight leafed clover! Or two four leafed clovers..... Also gave him double teeth & some little wing shaped clovers on his head kinda like Dudunsparce. This one didn't have a lot of thought go into it, I just kinda did what felt natural
Venyan: The first thing I thought about was what colour to make the fur & what colour to make the hair. I decided on red hair cuz it would pop more with dark blue fur. Also made his face pattern a part of his hair cuz he doesn’t have enough room on his face for it with Venocts bangs. I wanted him to be kind of a shitty little bastard, a real cat kinda cat. A good mix of their personalities y’know. Didn’t have much going on with this design either other than I didn’t want the scarf to be all bulky with the dragons cuz Jibanyan is very squart, so I moved them to the tails. Also just because that looks cooler. Had a hell of a time drawing them, I have experience drawing dragons but I’ve always been bad at drawing them roaring or snarling, they look okay but not great.
Lord Lie-in: Also had a bit of trouble combining these two, makes sense cuz I put this one off for more than a few weeks. Didn’t wanna give him big spiky saiyan hair so he got some stray hairs in the front. Took his face framing bangs & tied them up cuz I always like that look (They’re two different pieces tied individually then tied together, so there’s two mini ponytails instead of one. Also had to deliberate on the hair colours cuz I knew I wanted him to have white fur. One of my favourites was red hair with light blue ends but I didn’t go with that one cuz his outfit is mostly red. I also DID NOT feel like giving him a whole kimono (mostly for silhouette reasons) so I just gave him Miku-like sleeves. I originally wanted to give him split leg hakama but when looking at reference I remembered “Oh yeah these things have a lot of pleats & the crotch is pretty low so that’s not great for the silhouette I have in mind.” I gave him harem-esque pants & if you look closely at the upper thigh you can see a little slit in the side of them. Underneath his waist plate & top, the pants tie together like hakama do so I guess I got the hakama in a little bit. I didn’t have any room for his arm warmers so I made them into gloves & gave him the kind of socks that I don’t know what they’re called (Catra has them & I think they’re cool). Also gave him tengu cuz they look cooler than whatever Lie-in Heart has going on. Also cuz it makes him more like “Woah what a bold guy/character!!” And don’t ask how the sword fits in that sheath, idk magic or something he’s the king of the yokai he can do whatever he wants
Slimatina (or Frostymander): Again not much going on here it’s pretty simple. Gave the lower body muscles cuz I noticed the lower body of Slimamander kind of looked like a chest & also just cuz that makes it more creepy. I gave the main body/head some hair clips resembling the patterns on the bulbs of the other heads. Also made the openings in the head look more like a woman’s mouth cuz again, makes it creepy, but also I just thought it would fit more with the Frostina part. Also gave the main heads head eyelashes that look like the openings on the other heads. Decided to give her a cape this time cuz I’m not fuckin around with another kosode. I don’t know if it comes off in the piece but I wanted her cape to be flying up like she just summoned a harsh wind. Last thing is I gave her an eye ornament on her obi & a specially tied obijime cuz I saw one tied like that on google & I thought it looked cute
Whisbuzz: YET AGAIN SAY IT WITH ME! NOT! MUCH! GOING! ON!!!!!! Uhh gave him a frown cuz he’s depressed or whatever, made the top of his hood look like Whispers…… ahoge???? Made his wings wispy on the ends. That’s about it. Fun fact before I drew that one I had another one but I scrapped it because it looked too much like a sperm cell :]
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ineffable-endearments · 4 months
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I was rethinking the bookshop meta I wrote a while ago and realized I was not thinking big enough.
The bookshop has always been Aziraphale's version of Crowley's plants (his trauma reenactment), but also, absolutely everything Aziraphale does in Season 2 is a re-creation of Heaven's role. Crowley's behavior also encompasses everything, not just his plants.
I've seen it suggested that centering Aziraphale and Crowley's trauma histories is reducing their characters to behaving like just reactive victims instead of survivors with agency. Or worse, it's "excusing bad behavior." I don't agree with either of these, because I feel that part of Good Omens is about how large, powerful systems affect individuals, and so the context of every character's decisions matters a lot to the overall themes of the story. Everyone starts out working within a system they believe to reflect reality and then has to learn how to break free of it. You cannot really illustrate that without having the characters start out being genuinely trapped with different ways of coping with their reality.
This is an attempt at a pretty big-picture meta. Although it isn't a plot prediction, it's how I think some of the series' themes are going to progress. It starts out perhaps a little grim, but in the long run, it's how Aziraphale's character growth and relationship with Crowley can simultaneously be massive for them as individuals, a crucial part of the overarching narrative message of the series, and symbolic of a change in all of Heaven and Hell, all while allowing the themes to continue to prioritize human free will.
In short, it's about Aziraphale's problems, but it's also meant to be an Aziraphale love post.
All of the below exists in tandem with Good Omens as a comedy of errors. Just because there are heavy ideas does not mean they will not also be funny. Look back on how much of Season 2 seemed silly until we started to pick it apart! One of the amazing things about Good Omens is how it manages to do both silly and serious at once! (I feel like that's maybe a little Terry Pratchett DNA showing through. "Laughter can get through the keyhole while seriousness is still hammering on the door," as Terry himself said.)
Aziraphale has really embraced his connection to Crowley in Season 2, and he has also become considerably more assertive toward Heaven and Hell. These are both major growth points compared to the beginning of Season 1.
However, again, we have the concept of growing pains...Aziraphale is starting to re-create Heaven's role in his relationship with Crowley and humanity. It's really obvious with the Gabriel argument and the I Was Wrong Dance, but I think we see it all over the place: he seems to feel any serious dissent is a betrayal. He also seems to assume there's a dominance hierarchy and he, of course, is on top. Now that he's decided to take control of his own future, then surely that does mean he's the one in control, right?
With all that said, he still seems to have trouble being direct about the feelings that make him most vulnerable. He manipulates people and engineers situations in which he can try to get his emotional needs met rather than saying things outright (case in point: the Ball).
Like I pointed out in the bookshop meta: subconsciously, he's playing the role of God, modified with what God would be if She were everything he wants Her to be. He's generous, almost infinitely sweet, always does what's best for people...or, at least, what he believes is best for people. During the Ball, Aziraphale influences the people around him to be comfortable and happy even when they're not supposed to be, and he limits their ability to talk about things he thinks are too rude or improper for happy, formal occasions.
Doesn't this pattern sort of make sense for an angel who's just discovering free will? Like, at the end of Season 1, he made an enormous choice to stand against Heaven and realized he could survive it. Now he's gone a bit overboard with exerting his own will. Unfortunately, while he's learned to question upper management, he's still operating on a fundamental framework of the universe where there have to be two sides and there has to be a hierarchy. Also, since Aziraphale is on the Good side, he of course has to gear his desires into what's Good rather than just what he wants, so he sometimes thinks he's doing things for others when really he's doing things for himself. (For example, matchmaking Maggie and Nina started out as something he wanted to use to lie to Heaven, but by the time he was commenting "Maggie and Nina are counting on me," he seemed sincere, like he had genuinely convinced himself this was for them and not for himself.)
Aziraphale knows Heaven interferes in human affairs, ostensibly on God's behalf. He thinks She should be intervening in ways that are beneficial. What I believe the narrative wants him to learn is that God and Heaven shouldn't be manipulating people at all, not even for Good, and in fact there is no real meaningful hierarchy.
Anyway, a top-down, totally unquestioned hierarchy is the primary social relationship Aziraphale has known, and it's certainly been the dominant one for most of his existence: you're either the boss or the underling, and if someone seriously questions you, they don't have faith in you - they don't respect you.
No, his relationship with Crowley has not always been like that, but they've been creating their relationship from whole cloth, so how would he know it shouldn't become that way, now that it's "real" and out in the open?
No, human relationships aren't like that, but Aziraphale clearly does not see himself or Crowley as human. As the relationship approached something that seemed like it must be "legitimate," Aziraphale would naturally look for a framework to fit it to. And again, the only one he has is the shape of "intimacy," or what passes for it, in Heaven. What has "trust" always meant in all his "legitimate" relationships? It has always meant unquestioning obedience, of course. What have the warm fuzzies felt like in Heaven? Well, praise from the angels above him is nice, so that must be it, right?
Aziraphale even describes being in love as "what humans do," separating out that relationship style. Someday, I think he'll realize he favors the shape of love on Earth, something that's more inherently equal, more give-and-take. Look at how he idealizes it from afar at the Ball. But I think that, like Crowley before Nina pointed it out, Aziraphale maybe hasn't 100% grokked that it can and in fact should work that way for him and Crowley, too. Just like people can desperately want to dance without knowing how to dance, or can desperately want to speak a language without knowing the language, Aziraphale does not instinctively know how to have the kind of relationship where he can be truly vulnerable and handle Crowley's vulnerability as well.
Aziraphale is downright obsessed with French, known as the "language of love." He's trying to learn it the Earthly way. He's not very good at it, but he wants to be.
This pattern is still present during the Final Fifteen even if we assume Aziraphale is asking Crowley to become an angel again out of fear (and I find it very hard to believe that fear doesn't factor in at all). He's still building his interactions off of that Heaven-like framework: he asks Crowley to trust him blindly, he tries to assume a leadership role with a plan Crowley never agreed to and couldn't follow anyway, and he tries very hard not to leave room for an ounce of doubt. He also suggests making Crowley his second-in-command and obviously does not register that this could possibly be offensive. Again, I think this is because for Aziraphale, there has always been a hierarchy in Heaven, it's started to transfer to his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of that assumption about relationships is going to take more processing than a single argument can do.
As I mentioned in another post, I don't believe Aziraphale had a real choice about whether he accepted the Supreme Archangel position. I think he could sense that he was not getting out of it and chose to look on the bright side, to see it as an opportunity. And instead of looking realistically at how that would feel to Crowley, he tried to sweep Crowley up to Heaven with him using toxic positivity, appeals to morality, and appeals to their relationship itself. Again, mimicking what Heaven has done to him.
To me, "they're not talking" is a big clue that Aziraphale's approach with Crowley is going to be the mistake the narrative really wants him to face. "Not talking" has, thus far, been presented as the central conflict of Season 3! After losing the structure and feedback Heaven gave him, Aziraphale started creating Heaven-like patterns in his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of those patterns is what he needs to do. Discovering first-hand that Heaven's entire modus operandi is bad no matter who's in charge is how he can do it.
Look, either you're sympathetic to Aziraphale's control issues or you're not. Personally, I am. He's trying so, so hard to be good. I think trying to figure yourself out (which Aziraphale is clearly doing) is hard enough, and when you start balancing what you want for yourself, what you think are your responsibilities, and what other people are actively asking of you, you're bound to fall into the patterns that have been enforced for your whole life or for millions of years, whichever came first.
It is very easy to assume that people should Just Be Better, but it's not actually that simple to be a thinking, feeling person. My anxiety tends to move in a very inward direction and Aziraphale's moves outward. But I'd imagine the desperation and exhaustion are the same.
Unlike Nina, Aziraphale became a rebound mess. I don't think it occurred to either him or to Crowley that there could be any soul-searching, anything but carrying on with the new normal after their stalemate with Heaven and Hell.
Now, instead of getting rejected by Heaven and surviving it, Aziraphale needs to be the one to reject Heaven. It needs to be a choice. And that choice is going to come from realizing that Heaven isn't just poorly managed but also represents a bad framework for all relationships.
How could this happen? Good question. We're obviously not supposed to know yet, although I think picking at existing themes within the narrative could possibly give us hints.
It's possible Aziraphale's character development trajectory will be akin to Adam Young's in Season 1. Please see this stellar post by eidetictelekinetic for more thoughts about it, but basically, in Season 1, Adam saw that the world was not what he wanted it to be and decided his vision was better; as he ascended to power, he took complete control over all his friends and then soon realized that's not what he wants because there's no point in trying to have relationships with people who can't choose you. It's that realization that leads Adam to conclude he doesn't want to take over the world and to reject the role he's expected to play as the Antichrist. Maybe Aziraphale's trip to Heaven is an attempt at a control move during which he'll realize he's defeating his own point.
Aziraphale clearly wants to be chosen. From the very beginning, he's wanted to be special and cared for - just like Crowley has.
Incidentally, I think Aziraphale and Crowley are going to represent pieces of the bigger picture here, and this - first imitating and then rejecting Heaven's relationship style - can both symbolize Heaven's transformation and directly start it (probably in an amusing, somewhat indirect way, like when he handed off the flaming sword to Adam).
If I'm right - which I may very well not be - I think this would all be so, SO cool. Like, "An angel who is subconsciously trying to be a better God" is a concept with so much potential for both tender kindness and incredible darkness. Add to that the comedy-of-errors aspect of "...but even deeper down, he'd much rather just be super gay on Earth" and you have, in my opinion, a perfect character.
I think this could work for Crowley as well. It's obvious that in the Good Omens universe, at least so far, Hell is all about detesting humans and punishing them; Satan seems to genuinely hate humans (unlike in some of NG's other works). Our perspective on this could change, but it potentially puts Crowley in a complementary position to Aziraphale, as a demon who is trying to be "better" than Satan. But this isn't about being "morally better." It's about things having a point. Crowley's exploits usually have a point: they test people. And you can pass his tests! He sincerely likes making trouble, but Crowley doesn't live to punish.
But, once again, the above paragraph would describe a transient phase for this infinitely charming character. Because, again, I think the point will be that in the end, Crowley's deeper-down desire, moreso than testing Creation, is watching it grow with a glass of wine in hand.
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cookinguptales · 10 months
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*spins the meta wheel* yeah okay, let's talk about Nandor.
One of the things that's always fascinated me most about his character is the way he desperately wants change but also seems to be more terrified of it than all the other characters put together. He talks about wanting things to be different a lot, but he always sabotages anything that might really materially change his life.
Like -- this quest for love. He talks about how much he wants a partner, he wants his life to change, but what do we actually see? In s3 and the beginning of s4, he's just consistently going after women who don't really want him instead of spending time developing the relationships he already has. He dips into shallow relationship after shallow relationship because the real relationships, the ones that might actually change his life, terrify him. The best/worst of these is probably the cult dedicated to literally living in a fantasy version of the past, which like. Not really helping him beat those afraid-of-change allegations.
(You can learn all the 80s and 90s songs you want, Nandor, we both know only Guillermo is exposing you to modern pop culture! And yeah, there's more than one metaphor there...)
And then in s4, he decides he wants a wife, so he chooses one in the most haphazard way possible and makes both of their lives miserable. He is constantly changing her to make her easier for him to deal with without actually changing his life, and then he gets rid of her when he's fed up with the monster that he's created.
His whole thing with the Djinn is that he's constantly asking him to change things -- and then change them back. He wastes so many wishes on things like Marwa. I want this. No, that. No, that. No, put it all back to the way it was originally.
He does this over and over and over, and nothing seems to perturb him more than finding out that things have changed when he wasn't looking. (See: his difficulty accepting that Laszlo is creating relationships with other people, his spiraling over the big bang, etc.)
So... how does this pertain to Guillermo?
Guillermo's frustrated with Nandor at the end of s4 because Nandor likes the status quo. Things are different, are constantly changing, but Nandor refuses to acknowledge any of that. (He even mentions off-hand that he forgets Guillermo is a slayer sometimes.) Guillermo has always worked for them all under the promise of change, so you could see why this would freak him out a little. He's realizing that things will never change with Nandor because Nandor won't let them. He's so scared of change that he just straight-up ignores it and hopes it will go away -- when he's not actively trying to stop it.
Nandor, who has been making and breaking plans with an almost manic frenzy for the entire season, is finally calm at the end of s4. Why? Because he thinks that everything has gone back to normal. Marwa is gone. Freddie is gone. Guillermo is no longer talking about leaving. Those are the important ones for him, but then Colin Robinson also returns and the house is set to rights, too, so like... why should he worry?
He has no idea what he's already lost. That's what's making me crazy. He doesn't know that he's already lost everything that matters to him. But I think he suspects.
The thing is, Nandor throws himself into his books and his self-help and everything else because I think he can tell, at least on a subconscious level, that things have changed. Indelibly. He knows that Guillermo has changed, and that's probably the one kind of change that scares him more than anything else.
But despite the fact that Nandor can tell that something is up, he still keeps insisting that it's no big deal. It must be some small perceived slight or something. It can't be a huge change that Guillermo is keeping from him. No, no, he already figured that out. He managed to reel Guillermo back in with the wedding scheme. He doesn't have to worry about Guillermo straying again.
:')
He's afraid of losing Guillermo to change, so he prevents change and ignores what he can't prevent. He doesn't realize that that's exactly what's driving Guillermo away. That it's already driven Guillermo away. Nandor's put the idea of Guillermo's transformation up on a shelf, nice to look at occasionally but not a thing he really has to interact with. The theoretical option for change is there, but he doesn't have to worry about it actually affecting his life.
As always, he's attracted to it, but it also scares him. He'll make a glitter portrait of a vampiric Guillermo at his side, but he can't seem to fully get his head (and heart) around the reality of giving Guillermo that kind of power and freedom.
He's afraid that giving Guillermo that kind of power/freedom will change their relationship further, when he's finally gotten it the way he (thinks he) likes it, and he's even more afraid that if Guillermo's leash is taken off, he'll run. He spent all of s4 trying to keep Guillermo from running, but he still seems to believe down deep that he'll do it.
And... he wasn't wrong. Guillermo did go elsewhere to get his bite. But Nandor is very much the one who drove him to do it. I think that's the tragic thing, isn't it? He was so afraid of his relationship with Guillermo changing that he forced Guillermo's hand, which caused the exact kind of change that he was most afraid of. Guillermo distancing himself, Guillermo leaving, Guillermo -- well, cuckolding him, really.
I think it's fixable, but Guillermo's not the only person who's going to need to eat dirt here. He may have been the one who "cheated", from the vampires' POV, but Nandor wasn't upholding his end of the deal, either. And he's going to have to acknowledge the way Guillermo has grown and changed throughout the course of the series, stop regressing to calling him his familiar, and apologize for his own inaction. It may not be the vampiric way, but it certainly would not be the first time Nandor has thrown away vampiric customs for Guillermo.
Nandor, friend, you gotta sit back and learn to embrace change. You gotta enter the 21st century. You gotta allow your relationship with Guillermo to grow organically.
Because Guillermo's gonna change one way or another, and it's really your decision whether or not he leaves you behind. :')
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w1ldthoughts · 2 months
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Home Sweet Home
Anon Requested
Disclaimer: this is a work of FICTION, the characters are fictionalized versions of real life situations and real people. It’s all based on my imagination.
Masterlist
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It was your favorite time of year. Football and preschool was over for the year and Justin hadn’t reached the point where he was ready to head back to California for workouts, because OTAs were coming up. He opted to stay in Oregon with you and Remi, presumably until baby number two decided to make their appearance. You got to sleep in, lounge around a lot more than you ever would during the season and still try to keep up with your hyperactive daughter.
You sat up in bed, finding the spot next to you cold, and gingerly walked downstairs to see what was going on.
“Morning mama!” She runs up to you to give your body a squeeze, anywhere she can reach.
“Careful mini,” Justin warns, “we have to be gentle with mama remember?”
She nods and holds her arms up. Justin is about to pick her up but you tell him you’ve got her. He gives you a look but you wave him off, letting Remi attach herself to your shoulder as you run your hand down her back. It’s like she subconsciously knows that she’s not going to be an only child anymore and is savoring every moment.
“How was your sleep, sweets?” You ask her when she picks her head up.
“Too short.” She whines.
“I hear you cupcake,” you laugh at her struggle. “What do you say we take a nap today?”
“No thank you.” She says with a laugh and Justin joins in, shaking his head and saying “of course”. Her napping days are probably over. You set her down and she walks off, into the living room to do whatever her heart desires.
Justin looks at you with a warm smile, sleep still lacing his features, reminding you of a tiny human that just left the room. It takes him about two steps before he’s standing inches away from you, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips. “How are you feeling this morning?” The concern in his tone isn’t missed, it’s been there since about month six, when your center of gravity changed significantly.
“How am I feeling? Large and…not very in charge.” The joke gets you a pity laugh and a forehead kiss.
Before you can even ask he turns away to grab a glass of water and your prenatal vitamins and you swallow the lump in your throat, not wanting to cry first thing in the late morning. Something about seeing Justin in dad and/or caretaker mode just really made you understand how you got here in the first place. You never had to ask for the dishes to be done or the trash to be taken out. If Remi needed something, it was done, especially now that he felt like you were going to pop at any moment.
“Are you sure you’re up for this today? I mean we can always ask them to come over, I can throw something on the grill and we don’t have to go anywhere.”
He saw you reaching for the chair and pulled it out for you, “as much as I know you’re dying to use that Traeger today, I feel great. And it’ll be that much better if we bring the gift to your parents instead of them coming to us.”
“Fine,” Justin sighs. “But you promise to let me know if you’re feeling off or tired or anything, okay?”
“Yes, I will let you know immediately.”
He gives you a look like he knows you’re not being serious and kneels down to talk to your belly. “You better not be in there giving your mom a hard time because we both know she’s not going to say anything. So you’ve gotta be on your best behavior all day. Can you do that for me?”
A thumpy kick on the left side of your stomach makes you laugh. The baby actually responded like they were having a conversation. “I love when that happens,” He beams at you.
“When what happens?”
“When you laugh, your belly moves up and down. It’s crazy that there’s a person in there,” he notes. “And I definitely think they heard me and are going to do what I said.” He places a hand across your protruding front and waits for another series of kicks, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest at the movement.
You should’ve known this would happen. Anytime you left the house, it was like your husband was preparing for war. The baby bag was packed and placed in the trunk, Justin decided to add an extra onesie, “just in case.” Remi has her overnight bag ready to go and he made sure that your stuff and his were triple checked with his extensive checklist.
Remi sighed, sitting on the couch next to you, watching her dad bring down the last bag. She tapped you on the arm and you leaned down to let her whisper in your ear. “Are we going to Mimi and Papa’s today? Daddy is taking a very long time.”
“He is sweets but daddy is just making sure we’re ready in case the baby decides to come.”
She looks between you, the door and then your belly. “Baby not coming today, promise.”
“I hope you’re right sister. Let go sit in the car so he knows we’re tired of waiting.”
The drive to his parent’s house wasn’t far and Remi was practically jumping out of her car seat to get to the door and run into Mark’s arms.
“Hi Papa! I missed you.” She giggles as he squeezes her tight after scooping her off the ground.
“Look at you peanut, it’s like you’re twice as big every time I see you!”
She bursts into another fit of laughter when he tickles her, bringing her into the house. “I wanna be big and strong like daddy. To play football.”
You laugh at her confession, nudging Justin. “Your daughter wants to be an NFL quarterback.“
“If that’s what she wants then I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen,” he hums, placing a hand at the small of your back to steady you as you walk through the door.
Remi is already making her rounds, giving hugs to Holly and Patrick and giving them the rundown of everything that’s happened in her life like she hasn’t seen them in years when in reality it’s only been a couple weeks. Somewhere along the way she convinces Patrick to take her to the park, creating the perfect opportunity to present Justin’s parents with their gifts.
“So the two of you are having a baby, but you’re bringing US gifts?” Holly quips from her spot on the couch.
“We wouldn’t be able to be do this without you,” you assure them, “between you guys and my parents, we owe you lots of presents.”
Justin nods quietly, feeling a smile reach up to his ears. “She’s right I mean, you guys have always been there for me but now, having a family of my own I appreciate you all even more. So this is just a little something as a token of our endless appreciation.”
He grabs the box and hands it to his dad, sitting back down to watch them open it. Holly’s eyes well up with tears almost instantly, before she’s even opened the book.
“It’s a memory book, I know you guys love pictures and you can keep everything in one place and look back on it as many times as you want. And obviously the blanket is yours to keep.”
“There is a little surprise on the first page of the book that I think you should take a look at.” Justin chimes in.
His mom tentatively opens it, gasping and running her hand over the page.
“Are you—are you pulling my leg? Is this real?” You’ve only seen Mark tear up a handful of times but you knew this was special. You even caught Justin wiping a tear away as he nodded.
“There’s no better man in the world than you dad. So why not set my son up for success by naming him after the greatest man I’ve ever known?”
Mark stands up and wraps him up in a hug that spoke volumes. You and Holly stood next to them arm in arm, wiping at your own tears. “This is incredible, we can’t thank the two of you enough. This is so special.”
“Camden Mark Herbert, how about that?” Mark says, patting his son on the back and giving him another hug.
There’s nowhere else you’d rather be than in this in moment with them and you wished that you could keep this feeling in your heart forever. Just goes to show…there’s no place like home.
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gatorbites-imagines · 2 years
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Kinktober day 23
Marc Spector + Oral fixation
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This is just Marc with stuff in his mouth tbh.
Kinktober list
Marc had always loved having things in his mouth, his thumb, toys, any necklace he wore, the list went on. Now experts said this stemmed from not being cared enough for as an infant or young child, and that might be true in some way if you asked Marc. He had thought he had grown out of this phase of his as he got older, but in reality, he just found less obvious ways of having stuff in his mouth.
Cigarettes, lollipops, pens. On nights where he was feeling extremely desperate whilst pulling at his cock, he subconsciously brought his other hand to his mouth to suck on his fingers, his tongue running between them and getting spit all over his palm. On nights where he allowed himself to indulge, he always came hard enough to see white and have to lay still to catch his breath afterwards.
When the two of you got together, along with Steven and Jake, Marc never really thought of bringing up just how desperate he was to have things in his mouth. It had become an everyday thing, so it was nothing special that needed to be talked about. Though he couldn’t help but come near the front when Jake was choking on your dick, or when Steven was wetting your fingers so you could stretch him open. The other two obviously felt when Marc was paying attention, and had both been teasing him about his apparent obsession with sucking and gagging on you.
It wasn’t to say the two of you weren’t getting physical, you were, more so than you were with Steven and Jake actually, but Marc never sucked you off or let himself be brave enough to drag your hand to his mouth so he could wrap his lips around your fingers. A part of him thought he might lose himself in the action if he did, and he was embarrassed at just how badly he wanted to do just that, it was starting to become somewhat of a problem as Marc let himself stew in his negative thoughts and become distracted by it.
When Marc got hit by an attack he could easily have avoided during knight business, Steven and Jake both agreed that they had to do something about it, because Marc was getting hurt denying himself something he truly wanted. Taking Stevens approach first, much to Jakes annoyance, they tried to talk to him first, though to no one’s surprise Marc didn’t see a problem and shut himself off when they tried to press the issue.
When that didn’t work, they decided to go with Jakes plan, which wasn’t hard to put into action. That night when you got home Jake had been quick to kiss you and rub you down, barely letting you get your jacket and shoes off before he had dragged you to the bedroom. Placing you at the end of the bed he had dropped to his knees and undone your pants skillfully quick, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he gave you a few jerks before taking your length in his mouth.
As expected, Marc seemed to be subtly paying attention as their mouth was filled, your length quickly hardening as you ran your hand through Jakes hair. When you were fully hard and Marc somewhat distracted by the weight on their tongue, Jake switched out and forced Marc to the front. Marc choked at the sudden change of perspective, his hands gripping at your thighs as he froze, his bopping coming to a stop as your tip just barely touched the back of his throat.
Seeming to notice that it wasn’t Jake anymore, you removed your hand from his hair and looked down in worry. When it became clear it was Marc, you tried to carefully dislodge him from your length and ask if he was alright, but to your surprise he resisted being moved. You had always thought Marc hated going down on someone since he always seemed to struggle with the concept and seem strongly put-off by it, but as he started slowly bopping his head between your thighs that theory was becoming less plausible.
Marc could almost feel his eyes roll back into his head as he started sucking, his tongue rubbing over the underside of your length as he pressed it as far into his mouth as he could get. He gave a soft gag and choke as he forgot to breath for a second, gulping a few breaths of air in through his nose as his grip on your thighs loosened. The room quickly became filled with the noises of your moaning and the wet sounds of Marc moving at an almost desperate pace between your thighs.
He seemed to almost preen under your touch as you ran your hand through his hair, his eyes shut and eyelids fluttering as he swallowed around you, spit dribbling down his chin and into your lap. Marc seemed to get pleasure from just having you in his mouth, he didn’t even seem focused on getting you to cum as his movements grew less desperate until he came to a stop. Your cock was fully inside his mouth, his nose against your abdomen as he softly suckled on your length, tongue running over your length as he seemed more and comfortable just holding you there, cockwarming you.
The two of you stayed like this were a while, Marc lazily palming between his legs at his own hardness as he kept you in his mouth, his eyes shut in an almost peaceful expression. Yet at some point he seemed to regain the fire he had had before, moving his head up and down at a more sedate pace, slurping up most of his spit so he wouldn’t spill even more into your lap. As Marc grew closer, he doubled his efforts on your cock, deepthroating every now and then and tonguing at your tip, his grip on himself moving faster as he did so.
You could feel it through your entire body as you came, it started as a tingle in your toes and traveled all the way up to the top of your head as you flooded his mouth, Marc making quick work on swallowed it all down with a couple of audible gulps. He held your softening length in his mouth as he got himself off, shooting white across his hand as he finished, tiny moans leaving him as he did so.
You both sat in silence for a while, panting as you regained your breath. Marc finally pulled his mouth off your length, though he looked like he hated doing it and truly wanted to stay there and keep sucking on you forever. Reaching down you pulled him up onto the bed and scooted you both back until you hit the pillows, Marc wiping his own release on his pants or shirt for later.
You didn’t question Marc when he hesitantly grabbed your hand and placed two of your fingers between his lips and started to suckle, his eyes half lid and pupils blown wide. You just kissed him on the forehead and cuddled him close, enjoying the sensation of his tongue flattening across the pads of your fingers.
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moonmeg · 10 months
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!!TW for panel 3-5// Blood
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Seeing him unharmed and alive in his crib was the greatest relief. He was crying but he was alive. With a soft shush she picked the babe from the crib and cradled him in her arms.
"It's alright, little sprout, it's all perfectly fine. Mama's here.", she tried to calm him with a small rocking motion. Her eyes were fully fixated on his little chubby face and the big round tears running down his pink cheeks. It was still a bit surreal to think this was her baby. Her baby that she had carried beneath her heart for almost nine months. Cat started walking around the room while continuing her attempt to calm him. By now she had figured out how to tell his cries apart. His current cry wasn't of hunger, nor did he have an unpleasant smell about him.
"Did you have a bad dream, my love?", she asked and gently wiped the tears off his face, "Me too...". Robyn wasn't a talker just yet, but he was a great listener. While Cat had many great advisors and comforters around her, whenever she started to speak with Robyn, she realized that sometimes all it needs is someone who simply listens. Of course, she knew he doesn't understand her and that he won't remember any of what she's telling him but the idea that he did was nice enough for her to continue talking to him. So she began fighting against Robyn's cries by retelling him her own dream.
"I dreamed about your Papa. He was here and he looked so proud and full of love as he looked at you. We were all together, just as intended. We were happy.", she smiled at the image in her head. How he was standing next to her before the self-made crib he had spent months on. His hand's firm grip on her upper arm as he pulled her closer to him. His warm brown eyes carrying the love he feels for her in just one look. His proud smile towards his son, his soft touch on her cheek and chin. It all felt so real. Cat couldn't help the tear she shed upon the repeating realization that this image will never be a reality. He was gone. No matter how much in denial she wanted to be or was about it.
Caleb was gone.
"Then he appeared.", she put emphasis on "he". Cathy didn't want to speak his name, nor did she want Robyn to ever hear that name. She would rather have that name and the person it was given to be forgotten. That was his biggest concern, wasn't it? He wanted to be remembered as great witch hunter and as savior to humanity. He wanted his name in history books and an everlasting legacy. She figured, she would not give him that.
She knows she can't shut away the story attached to that person. Sooner or later Robyn would ask what had happened to his father and she wasn't planning on lying to him. But if Robyn never hears the name, even if he retells the story of Caleb's fate to friends or perhaps even his own children some day, the name would never be mentioned and slowly be forgotten. It would be "the person" and not "Philip".
Cat paused, thinking of how to continue the telling. The images flashing her mind threw her right back to that terrible day. Right back to the horrifying sight of her beloved Caleb lying in a growing puddle of blood on the floor, clenching his side, coughing...
She had tried her best to push those memories back and instead replace them with happy memories of him. It was too painful a sight to revisit again and again but she wasn't able to push it away fully.
His blood-dyed shirt, the blood strains on his chin and his arm, the pain and sadness in his eyes, the last of his strength he put into a final kiss before he exhaled one last time and lost the life in his body... she was there. She held him through it all.
She feared those moments would now be her steady company in life. They would always return and reopen the wound and she couldn't escape it.
Catherine looked back to her little son, still very much crying, as she decided to not go into detail about what exactly her subconsciousness tortured her with. Both, because it wasn't fit to tell your month old baby and because she could hardly bear saying the required words.
"I'll spare us both of telling what he did. But he did something horrible. And then...he said something so cruel about you.", she brushed her index finger over Robyn's cheek as if he knew what cruelty was said and she wanted to comfort him.
Robyn's cries lost volume but they weren't gone. He noticed he was no longer alone in the crib but that he was held by someone and he noticed quickly it was his mother so close to him. He knew her scent and he recognized her voice. Sometimes that's all he needed to calm down again: mama.
Said mama stared at him in adoration. She loved her little sprout ever since the healers told her she was pregnant. He has grown so much in just eight months and he still was. She was in awe every time anew. That's her son. Her little boy, who surely would grow into a fine young man... much like his late father. Catherine saw the world in this little life and she was proud to call herself his mother.
"He's just so wrong about you. He said you were never supposed to exist...", her brows furrowed in confusion. If Robyn was never supposed to exist, clearly he wouldn't be here now and clearly, Caleb and her would've never been able to conceive him in the first place. If, by Philip's logic, this child was the aftermath of a so-called "sin", if not a "sin" himself, surely that almighty person Caleb and his brother believed in would've not allowed Robyn to exist. She barely understood any of that topic and yet still even regarding that human belief, everything speaks *for* her baby's existence, not against it.
Robyn made a noise, striking his fist in the air as if in protest of the statement. His cries having ceased under Cathy's rocking-while-walking.
"Yeah.", Cat chuckled and validated Robyn's reply, "He's absolutely wrong.".
She paused for a moment to take the blanket from the crib and wrap him up in it. He was calm now again and it wouldn't take long before he dozed off again. So she hoped at least. Once wrapped up, she adjusted him and placed him over her chest, his head in the crook of her neck, where she was shielding it with her hand.
"You're a gift. The most amazing, wonderful, beautiful gift. And we love you more than anything else. Your father and me.", Cat smiled and turned her head to kiss his crown. She kept her lips pressed to his forehead as the clear night sky caught her attention for a while.
"I wonder what traits of yours he picked up, sweetheart.", she pulled her head back to examine her baby's face once again. There wasn't much of Caleb in Robyn's face but that's to blame on Robyn being a baby still. Of course his facial features are to grow over the years and he wouldn't have a sharp angular jaw as infant but so far Robyn has picked up more from his mother than his father.
"Maybe his hair will stay this light? Maybe his eyes are a warm brown? Or maybe it's something completely different?"
She would welcome any resemblance to her lost love and she would lie if she denied the fact she wished he looked more like Caleb sometimes rather than her when Robyn's older. She'd have her beloved's face back. She'd have his blond locks back. She'd have his beautiful brown eyes back. She'd have him back at least somehow.
Then she noticed Robyn's pointy ears - a trait definitely from her - and further spun the thoughts.
Robyn could grow into her long face and pointy chin. His dirty blond could grow into the brown of her's over the years. He could have her piercing teal eyes. He could be the spitting image of her just as much as he could be of that of Caleb.
"Maybe he barely looks like you when he's older...", she frowned upon the conclusion.
Turning away from the window, she drew a circle in the air and the curtains closed. She got back into bed, holding her infant son tightly as she still lightly rocked him back and forth. She kissed his head again. Whichever traits he picked up from Caleb and whichever from her, in the end her baby was beautiful and perfect just the way he is. He was a gift. Caleb's most precious gift. One she will protect from harm with her life. Her little sprout. Her little Robyn.
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ruewrote · 2 months
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𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟.
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PAIRING: baxter radic x fem!reader WARNINGS: 'unrequited' love GENRE: angst to fluff SONG INSPIRATION: treasure by bruno mars WORD COUNT: 1.1k
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it was like she had superpowers. very annoying ‘superpowers’ at that.
summer had only known you for two weeks and had found out your long term crush on your best friend.
at first it was only little things like the way you’d lean a little too close to him as his arm loosely wrapped around your shoulders as he talked to his friends. tightening his hold if you moved even an inch away from his touch, doing so without breaking conversation.
the smile on your face just proved how much of an effect it had on you, knowing that even in his subconscious he was thinking about you, even if it was only slightly.
the way you’d find him what you thought were the prettiest seashells and even though you’d also surf and make sure you had enough food and water for the two of you since you had a feeling he’d steal yours. definitely not because you know how much he loved your cooking.
there was an endless list of things that summer could have listed off to you and she did but even with her trying to give you the kick up the ass that you needed to confess how you felt, it just made you even more anxious. if she found out that you liked him that easily then how obvious was it to him?
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so you distanced yourself from him, slowly but you did.
starting with taking longer to reply to his messages or sometimes not even answering them at all.
making your morning surfs more spread out throughout the week, carefully keeping yourself out of arm's reach quite literally.
with stopping everything that was your norm you felt like you almost lost a part of yourself in the process. 
being away from bax took a toll on your mental health even if it had been a couple of weeks, the realisation that the scent of his cologne on your pillow was fading made you sob loudly into your other pillow.
his touch was something that you missed the most. you didn't realise how much he used to before he wasn't able to at all. missing how his body practically wrapped around yours as he hugged you. god you missed his hugs the most.
staying out with the girls definitely eased your pain, even though they didn’t agree with the way you were dealing with this they were still there for you.
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it had been just a little over a month of going no contact and even though it had been hard to do with being in the same friend group and all. you still did it.
whenever you'd look over to look at him, he'd already be looking at you. the act made your breath hitch, making you turn away and rejoin the conversation again.
everytime you looked into his big puppy dog eyes you would nearly cave, it was like they were begging for you to come back.
but you didn't!
. . .you may have just stayed in for the night whilst your friends partied or you genuinely would have.
eating your feelings in the middle of the night always helped, well that was before baxter decided to fall through your window nearly making you choke.
“bax? what are you–?” you uttered.
“no you’ve gone this long without talking to me you can wait a little longer, darlin’,” he coaxed as he walked over to your bed, towering over you in the process.
he's not normally one to do this so you just nodded as he sat in front of you, your knees knocking against each other as he did so.
baxter being this close to you after so long made you nervous, there was nowhere for you to run. it was time to face the music. “why have you been avoiding me? i've been trying to give you your space, but…”
“i couldn't go any longer without you, without knowing if it was something that i did wrong.” his eyes were glossy as he looked down at you.
and there it was. the last thing you wanted was for him to think he did something. hed only ever helped you and comforted you. all the guilt and regret came rushing back, the very thing that you had been trying to protect him from with his sisters is what you also made him feel.
leaning over wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into the biggest hug. “i'm so sorry, b. it's not you i promise.” his arms engulfed your waist bringing you even closer to him.
you stayed like that for a while, the two of you not even noticing since you had always been this close.
“god i've missed the way you smell.” he joked as he nuzzled his face into your neck and deeply sniffed, tickling you and making you laugh in the process.
pulling away to go back to sit down again when he pulled you into his lap.
“baxter!” 
“i love it when you say my name.” his voice lower now, all signs of joking were long gone. his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips.
he pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, leaving his hand to sit on your cheek. his thumb draws circles on your heated skin.
“so. why have you been avoiding me?”
your eyes drift away from him, body tensing with anxiety. “hey! it's just me, you can trust me.”
timidly glancing back at him. “i can't pretend anymore.”
he gives you a reassuring smile for you to continue.
“i'm in love with. . .you.”
“oh. my. god. the reason why you haven't talked to me in a month is because you love me?” he questioned, his grip loosened on you making your heart drop.
“yes.”
before you could say anything else he tackles you onto your back and begins to tickle you. 
you laugh so hard that you’re out of breath as he continues to relentlessly tickle you. 
he eventually stops, chuckling at your breathless state, “you- you little shit! ive been in love with you forever! ever since i met you at that surf shop to be exact.”
he was now hovering over you, arms either side of you trapping you in.
“you have?”
“yes!”
“why didn't you say something?” 
he deadpans as if the answer was obvious.
“okay, okay fair.”
silence takes over the two of you. “so what now–?”
he leans down, closing the space between you, his lips brushing yours. the initial shock dissolves as you melt into the kiss, your hands running up his torso to rest on his chest. he pulled away only to not get too far as you tugged him closer to leave long pecks on his lips, making him smile into them.
“damn you can't get enough of me already?” he playfully wiggles his eyebrows at you making you laugh.
you felt stupid for doing what you did, but extremely happy with the outcome.
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© ruewrote.
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follows-the-bees · 4 months
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I haven't done any cinematography/camerawork meta analysis threads recently and it's making my brain itch. So here's a small analysis of how negative space is used in the show to express characters' emotions. This is the first in a series.
The use of greenery in negative space in episode 1x7: This Is Happening
First, Jim stands alone in a field with Olu small in the distance, reflecting Jim's mindset of being on their own, isolated. We know from Olu that Jim doesn't talk much about their personal past, and this shot is right after Jim confronts their past, which turns negative.
They isolate and go to their old land, seeking comfort in the openness and of the past: where everything changed.
Olu follows them, not leaving Jim alone in this vast negativity: literally and figuratively.
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Next, Olu and Jim face each other, with space in between them, a stone wall behind Jim, and open space behind Olu. This once again reflects their mindset.
Jim opened up to Olu, telling him the truth about their past, introducing him to the person that raised them. Shooting them in profile, completely facing each other shows how open they are now after that previous shot: they are on equal footing, no longer Jim with their back turned to Olu in the distance.
While they are drawn to one another — they almost kiss — what is behind them foreshadows the end of the episode.
Jim still has a wall behind them — they have decided to continue on their journey of revenge — and therefore must leave. Olu on the other hand, has open space behind him because he is open to Jim and whatever is happening between them.
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Now moving into the A storyline of Lucius, Ed, and Stede. This overhead shot consists of mostly neutral colors, the only pops are the fire, the purple of Ed, and the green leaves. Ed and Stede sit right next to each other, but their bodies are turned inward, knees almost touching. (This exact same position happens multiple times throughout the show including in 2x4 on the couch in Mary and Anne's home.)
The green is attached to the humans, especially to Ed and Stede, and it being the main pop (along with a kindling, warm fire) in this scene reveals what is important in the scene: the people.
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When we move to the two shot, Lucius still dirties the shot in the foreground, but the focus is on Ed and Stede. Just like with Olu and Jim, there is a small space between them and larger space on each side, particularly the green is more on Stede's side, but Ed's purple shirt — which shows his growing feelings for Stede — is out and proud.
That kindling, warm fire is now shown between Ed and Stede, bringing that metaphor up front in this angle.
This whole episode is Stede subconsciously trying to get Ed to stay. His space on his side is open and green, just like his feelings for Ed.
A large palm tree sits behind Ed in his space because his feelings are shown through his purple shirt. Just like Stede, he has growing love for him but isn't as open at this point. (Lucius talks to him about not being a dick and Stede has feelings for him.)
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I also love this shot when both the A and B plotlines merge together.
Stede is in the same position as when he looks at the ruined, burned map, but this time he's excited, he found the treasure. Ed and Lucius are on one side and Jim and Olu on the other, Stede bridging the storylines and characters.
Greenery, the stone wall, and particularly the sun are the bright spots in this shot of mainly neutral colors. The sun shining down on all these characters shows how their relationship has changed since the previous shots/beginning of the episode. Olu and Jim are about to split up so they stand in more darkness, while Ed and Stede are right under the sun, the light that is used throughout the show to represent their love (especially Stede's — but that a whole other post I'm working on) is bright and center.
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And I'll end with this shot, which unfortunately is cropped, but in the full shot there is open space on either side of the couple. But luckily I want to focus on the space between Ed and Stede. The space here is bridged by their hands touching and holding the petrified orange. (Later on, Stede talks to this orange, calling it Edward in symbolism of his new versus old life).
Stede and Ed parallel Olu and Jim's earlier shot of facing each other but they complete the gap and touch. Their relationship has changed by this point, they are closer: emotionally and physically.
The negative space used in these shots show us the emotional state of the characters, from the green space around them showing their isolation, to by the end the greenery space shows how they have become closer.
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Note
Hey Yves wanna see my wicked cool tattoo? 😏* pulls up my sleeve to show him a large bold ‘YVES’ tattoo’d on my forearm*
"Ah." Yves uttered softly as he bent down to inspect the ink work. But his eyes aren't focusing on the artist's skill, rather, the way your body reacts to something foreign invading it, like a tattoo. He took note of any redness, texture or anomalies on the artwork.
He already knew that you were about to get one, Yves was even flattered that out of all the words and quotes you considered, you preferred his name to be permanently a part of your body. He only wished that he could have been the one who worked with the tattoo gun, that way, he could obtain more data regarding your skin and flesh. Moreover, this was one of the few rare instances where he could (begrudgingly) further study your behavior towards pain while allowing himself to directly inflict it onto you.
Yves would have taken in all the reactions, micro or macro, while enduring the needles too, but alas, he has to rely on pixels from the hidden cameras and microphones. It's definitely better than nothing, but there was just so much wasted information without him being physically present there, up close and personal.
You weren't sure if Yves liked it. He's staring at it blankly while gently tracing the pads of his fingers against your bare skin. It felt tingly.
"I'm flattered." He smiled. Yves knew you got this just to see how he would react, not necessarily because you wanted to be branded with his name. It's plain. Yves looked back up to you.
"What do you think about it?" He asked, somewhat catching you off guard. So you started to explain, fumbling over your words but pointing out the obvious: you wouldn't have gotten it if you didn't like it.
He hummed in response. Caressing your forearm tenderly as you watched him with anticipation.
Maybe you expected him to freak out, Yves seemed like the type of person to be discouraging permanent body modifications. You thought he would disapprove of it, at least to a certain degree.
But you're unsure what to make of his attitude, he's ominously vague about it. So you decided to ask him directly about what he thinks, straight to the point and no fluff.
Your direct question was met with a loving kiss on the forehead.
"You're adorable." He murmured. Cuddling you against him. Instinctually, you wrapped your arms around his torso while he went on to run his manicured fingers through your hair.
"What else can you tell me about it?" He whispered while holding you close.
You stuttered, you didn't know how to answer that. So you hesitantly told Yves you have nothing else to say.
He stayed silent and continued with his affectionate touches. Somehow, you felt uncomfortable not saying more, so you began grasping at straws. Telling him about how you love him so much, and you wanted to have his name on you for some reason.
You elaborated more than you needed to, somewhat cringing at yourself the deeper you fall into this chatty spiral. But you kept on going because it increased your unease when you stop talking.
While you're distracted and sounding like a broken record, Yves took the opportunity to usher you to the living room sofa. He rummaged through your bag, which is a normal occurrence on its own, so you never stopped to question why he is going through your belongings hourly.
He pulled out a tube of tattoo aftercare ointment that was given to you by the parlor, unscrewed it open and dispensed a pea sized amount of cream onto his fingertips.
Yves wordlessly urged you to continue blabbering by body language alone, showing that he is very interested in what you have to say and subconsciously encouraging you to overshare as usual.
He applied the cream onto your tattoo, alleviating it of any itchiness or soreness. The entire time, latching onto every word you said and permanently etching them into the sulci his brain.
It didn't even register in your mind that Yves knew how to care for a fresh tattoo despite not having one himself. You didn't realize how he automatically knew what to do, where to find it and what to use, as if he was there when the tattoo artist had explained it to you.
You simply accepted that Yves knew what was good for you and allowed him to act accordingly without your explicit permission.
You accepted that Yves will take care of everything.
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