#- im gonna get it for them for their birthday (not a surprise though bc obviously i need to know what products to get them)

[watchmegetobsessed]

Floating Through Space - Harry Styles

a/n: im literally bursting from excitement over this, i’ve been working on this fic for so long and im pretty satisfied with how it turned out so i hope you’ll like it too! pleas please PLEASE don’t let this flop bc it means a lot to me 🥺 the song featured in the fic is obviously an existing one, i linked it into the right place so you can listen to it and get the vibe of it, that song is what inspired the whole story so i recommend giving it a listen! leave your thoughts and reactions, i can’t wait to read what you thought about the fic!!

pairing: Harry x Famous!Reader

warning: drug use, smut and everything thats wrong with patriarchy lmao

word count: 25.7k

masterlist

This dressing room is no different than the other one thousand you’ve been to. The plaster on the wall is all cracked up, the red bricks peeking from under it in the corner, the dusty couch looks like it’s been through hell and just sitting on it would probably give you STDs. The mirror on the wall is cracked, the few water bottles you’ve gotten are not even cooled, they’re a warm room temperature. The glorious life of a musician, right?

Moments like this you question why you didn’t just choose to be the obedient daughter and became a surgeon like your parents always wanted you to be. You’d have a steady future and a nice income, a decent career instead of having to perform at a different bar every other night for nicks and pennies that barely cover your rent at the end of the month. But that wouldn’t be you. Wearing scrubs, smiling at patients, throwing out your dignity along with your dreams, you wouldn’t have been true to yourself if you chose that life. Besides, you’d still be in school, barely nearing the halfpoint of your education if you decided to go along with your parents’ plan and it’s clearer than daylight that the school system is just not for you. It would be pure torture if you had to sit in classes for a decade just to work a job you never even wanted.

Looking around the small dressing room you cast your eyes over your band that consists of three people. It’s a temporary set up from three guys you met along your way, all of the struggling musicians as you and you saw the as opportunities. Places would rather have a band play with several men in it than just put one single woman on stage and pray for the best. It’s the sexist part of the industry not enough people talk about. You can’t even count how many pitying stares you’ve gotten through the years when you stated that you want to make a career as a solo female singer.

“Honey, you ain’t making it without at least one man behind you,” is what they’ve always told you. So you’ve gotten yourself three until you could stand on your own two feet without a male backup. You’re using them just as much as they are using you. They were already a band when you joined them, the lead singer just disappeared to thin air with her boyfriend and left them incomplete, so you joined forces to navigate your way together in the depth of the music industry, looking for that big jump everyone is dreaming about.

Standing in front of the cracked mirror you fix your eyeliner, checking yourself once again. Your thrifted checkered suit looks radiant on you especially with the neon green see-through top underneath, showing off a black bralette. It’s a male suit, hanging a little baggy on you at places, but you still feel like you’re pulling off the look. Your thick eyeliner makes your eyes appear even bigger than they already are and your hair is in an unruly mop of curls, making your appearance complete.

You’ve received tons of critiques over your outfits, but they are the only thing you are not changing on yourself.

“Don’t wear men’s pants.”

“You’d look better in a dress.”

“Why do you look like a guy?”

“What a shame to hide such a gorgeous body in clothes that weren’t meant for girls.”

Each and every comment is burned into your mind forever and you’ll never stop fighting against the judgment women has to face for not being the conventional beauty all females are expected to be.

There’s a knock on the door and the person behind it barges in without waiting for an answer. The tall, bald guy rushes in, looking a little stressed, but that’s kind of the normal for the owner.

“I’m not sure how to say it, but… you are not performing tonight,” he simply states and your anger sets in faster than ever. You’ve had gigs get cancelled, but not minutes before going on stage. However, he is still not done with his little informative speech. “And your instruments need to be used by another band tonight.”

“What the fuck?” Trey, the drummer jumps to his feet. “No way I’m letting someone else play my drum set!”

“You’ll get half the money if you let it happen,” the owner answers.

“Wait, what band did you find minutes before start?” you ask in complete shock.

“There’s this group celebrating a birthday in the VIP section and some boy band is apparently with them. Birthday girl requested to have the stage for them.”

“And you’re just cancelling on us that easily?” you snap.

“Not that I have a choice. If I don’t do it they are leaving and I’m losing a big amount from the night. Sorry guys, but this is strictly business.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” you laugh bitterly, staring up at the ceiling. This would have been a great chance for all of you, you’ve been trying to get a gig here for months, knowing that a lot of people from the industry fancies it, you might have caught someone’s eyes, but it’s definitely not happening now.

“Are you letting them use your stuff or not?” he urges, hands on his hips as he looks at the four of you impatiently.

“But what about our gig? We’ve been on the waiting list for months, when can we actually perform?”

“Uh, I don’t know. We’re pretty booked, maybe sometime in the summer?”

“Summer?” you gasp in disbelief. “It’s fucking February!”

“Are you lending them your stuff or not? I don’t have the time for your little tantrum!”

“Yeah, if we get the money they can use it,” Connor, the bass guitarist answers before you explode right then and there. The owner walks out with that, leaving the four of you behind, forgotten and humiliated.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Trey groans, plopping down on the couch, covering his eyes with his tattooed arm.

“This is fucking bullshit,” you scoff under your breath, reaching for your bag to grab your pack of cigarettes you keep in it especially for cases like this, whenever you are about to go around and punch every living thing in the face in your reach.

Kicking the backdoor open you lean against the cold brick wall as you light the cigarette and start puffing vigorously, trying to get as much nicotine into your system as possible. You notice a group of guys standing near you in the alleyway, laughing on something, having a great time, oblivious to how hurt and angry you are feeling just a few feet away. You hear frictions of their conversation and it’s clear they are British judging from the accents that are hitting your ears. You finish your cigarette pretty fast and immediately reach for another one even though you know you shouldn’t have even smoked that first one, but you just can’t help it. It’s either the smoking or you’re going after the owner and kick him in the balls for being a bitch.

“Oi, can I ask for one?”

Glancing to the side you see that one of the guys has approached you, smiling at you warmly he nods towards the pack in your hands. Nodding you hold it out for him and he takes one. Before he could even ask for the lighter, you throw it at him and he catches it easily.

“Thanks,” he nods, holding the cigarette between his lips before lighting it and passing the lighter back to you.

“Lou, you really shouldn’t smoke,” you hear one of the others speak up as the rest of the group slowly joins you and the one you just helped out.

“S’fine, don’t act like me motha’,” he shrugs, taking a drag from the cigarette.

“At least not before we go on stage,” the blonde one shakes his head at his friend and your eyebrows shoot up.

“Oh, so you’re the band that’s gonna play?” you ask with a forced smile, already feeling your blood boiling. Who the fuck they are and why do they deserve to steal your gig?!

“We’re just playing a couple of songs,” another speaks up shrugging his shoulders. “No big deal.”

“Glad it’s no big deal to you, because it would have been to the band that was robbed from tonight because of you,” you spat at them, clearly surprising them with your harsh reply.

“I assume you are part of that band, right?” the on with the curly hair speaks up, his green eyes burning down at you.

“Nice job, Sherlock,” you groan, taking another drag from your cigarette.

“You could play with us,” he offers, the others nodding in agreement.

“I don’t need your pity,” you scowl at them. “Bringing me on stage to try to make yourselves look like the good guys is not necessary. I’m just fed up with people like you.” The truth is coming out of you easier than ever. All the years on injustice is seemingly erupting from you, pouring down on these five.

“People like us?” the dark haired one asks with a confused look.

“Yeah,” you nod with a bitter chuckle. “Five conventionally hot guys grouped together for a band, making every girl between the age of ten and thirty scream just by a wink. I don’t know where you came from, but I’m betting my head that you’ve had it easier than others.”

“It’s not nice to assume things when you don’t know anything about us,” Curly speaks up, tilting his head to the side.

“Oh, I’ve seen enough not to care about what’s nice and what’s not,” you chuckle shaking your head as you take another long puff from your cigarette and throw the butt to the ground, stepping on it. “Who are you even? Some Back Street Boys 2.0?” you ask, folding your arms on your chest, earning a heartfelt laugh from the blondie.

“I kinda like her,” he smirks around his friends. “We’re called One Direction, you haven’t heard of us?”

“Not even once,” you shake your head.

“That’s kinda humbling,” the one with the cigarette smiles. “We’re from the UK. I’m Louis, that’s Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry.”

“I would say it’s nice to meet you, but it would be nicer if you guys didn’t just take my gig and lessen me with half my paycheck,” you smile at them sweetly before rolling your eyes.

“Wait, what? They’re not paying you because of us?” Liam asks.

“We only get half the money for lending you our instruments.”

“Let us pay the other half then,” Harry offers right away, but you just laugh at him.

“It’s not about the money, Prince Harry,” you smirk at him, tilting your head to the side. “It’s about justice. How is that air that you just waltz in here and take our time and chance? What if there’s a producer out there who would have liked our music and offered a record deal? What if someone would have taken a video of us performing, put it up to YouTube and it would have gone viral? I assume you never had to go through this phase where you have to beg for every minute on stage so you can at least earn enough money to pay rent. You don’t seem like the type of band who had to perform in smelly bars four times a week for a ridiculous amount of money.”

They stay silent and you know you were right.

“I’m not saying you had it easy, but I’m sure you have no idea what it could have been. And I’m fed up with men walking over others just to have what they want.”

“Look, it wasn’t our intention to ruin your gig. Have your set with your band and then we’ll play a few songs too after that,” Liam offers, but you shake your head.

“No, we weren’t supposed to be just your opening act and it’ll turn into that. So have a nice evening, enjoy your showtime, I’m out.”

Pushing yourself away from the wall you walk back into the building and grabbing your stuff from the dressing room you move out to the bar area, desperately needing a drink.

Sitting on the last stool at the bar you ask for straight tequila and two vodka shots knowing it’ll do the job for the evening and pulling your phone out of your bag, you open up Google. Searching the name One Direction you’re met with quite a few hits and you start scrolling through them, reading about the five boys you just had an encounter with. Just as you thought, they didn’t start off as a traditional band, having put together at a talent show just three years ago, getting such a major push so early in their career, they have no idea how struggling it is to make it in the industry. They surely had their fair share of ups and downs, but they will never know what it’s like to sweat blood and tears for your dream when everyone just wants to drag you down and tell you you’ll never make it.

The shots and half of the tequila is gone, your band joined you to at least get wasted as you watch the technicians set the stage for a band that’s not you, but gonna play with your stuff. Sitting on the stool you’re having a fairly good time thanks to the alcohol when you spot Harry making his way towards you in the crowd.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready backstage?” you ask with an eyeroll as he joins your little circle, the guys eyeing him curiously. Ignoring your comment he pulls out a piece of paper handing it to you. As you unfold it you almost want to throw it back at him.

“This is to make up for what you lost tonight,” he says nodding down at the check in your hands.

“I told you I don’t need your money,” you firmly answer, but Trey grabs the check from your hands.

“But I do!” he snorts. He is such a pig.

“Let us do at least this one thing for you. We really do feel bad for taking your time and the offer to come on stage with us still stands.”

“No thank you,” you shoot him a fake smile before downing the rest of your tequila, the drink burning down your throat. Looking back at Harry you keep your eye locked on him as he watches you intently. He is a good-looking guy, you have to give that to him, but the circumstances you’ve met under just made it impossible for you not to hate him for the privileges he is being handed every day while you fight your way through life.

Harry sighs in defeat nodding as he licks his lips. For a split second, guilt takes over you for the way you’ve been acting towards him and the other boys, but then you remember that you don’t even know him. For all you know, he can be a royal asshole with the face of an angel. You can’t let guilt chew you and spit you out, you have to keep your guards up.

“Alright. We really are sorry. I’ll… see you around,” he nods before turning around to walk away.

You watch them perform their biggest hits, the whole place going crazy over the impromptu One Direction concert they just got for basically free. The VIP area is going crazy over the boys and with each sang song, you feel yourself getting more and more hopeless about your future as a musician. Here you are on a Saturday night, robbed from a job you’ve worked hard for, watching five British boys take your place on the stage that’s supposed to be yours tonight. You catch Harry’s eyes quite often while he is on stage, he keeps glancing in your way, a hint of guilt glistening in his green irises as he sings their songs with perfect vocals. You can tell he feels bad for the situation and you didn’t make it any easier on him or any of the boys, but you’re not really one to beat around the bush. They deserved to know what others in the industry below them have to deal with every day. It’s not always as glamorous as people might think and you’re the living example of that.

You don’t stick around for long after the boys are done on stage, you help your bandmates pack their stuff and head home before Harry or any other members of One Direction can find you.

Walking past the news stand that’s on the corner of your street, you stop upon seeing your own face smiling back at you from the cover of People Magazine, the title catching your attention.

“Grammy nominee Y/N Y/L/N shares her secret to her one of a kind fashion style.”

Grabbing the magazine off the stand you pay for it and continue your way home, holding the copy to your chest with a warm feeling in your heart.

It’s been only a week since the nominations have come out, but it still feels like a dream. You didn’t just get nominated in the category of Best New Artist, but your album Hands of Power got nominated as Best Album and your biggest hit of last year, Sleepless is running for the title of Best song. Three nominations the first time earning a spot on the list. Not bad.

Just as you walk into your place, your phone buzzes, the ever so smiling face of your manager staring back at you from the screen.

“Hey!” you sing into the phone, holding it to your ear with your shoulder, taking off your boots as you walk further down the hallway.

“Are you home already?”

“Yes, just arrived.”

“Great, I’ll be there in ten,” she announces and ends the call. Chuckling you just shake your head, dropping the phone to the coffee table before you move to the bedroom and change into something more comfortable. The flared jeans looked fire on you today, but you rather wear something looser when you’re at home.

You barely have the time to start the water for a tea when Taylor storms through your door using her keys you’ve given her some time ago. She is wearing all white that looks fantastic with her almond skin tone, a knitted sweater tucked into a maxi skirt, paired with strappy heels, she is always so elegant and perfectly dressed for whatever occasion.

“I have knee-shaking news, girl!” she announces as she throws her purse to the couch before joining you in the kitchen.

“I’m going to be the next Bond girl?” you joke smiling to yourself as you get two mugs from the cupboard.

“Better than that!” she cheers. “You are going to perform at the Grammy’s, baby!” she screams throwing her hands into the air as your jaw drops to the floor.

“You’re not just kidding with me, right?!”

“I would never play such a dirty joke with you. It’s one hundred percent true, I had an hour long phone call with some bloke today and they want you.”

“Yes!” you scream in excitement, jumping up and down like a child that just got a pack of candy. “I’ll make the Grammy’s my bitch!” you cheer, making Taylor laugh.

“Alright, Miss Dominatrix. We still have a lot of things to discuss and there’s one more thing about the performance.”

“Oh God, is this the part where you say something that ruins it completely?” you sigh in defeat as you take the kettle and pour the water into the mugs, dropping a filter into each.

“I don’t think it ruins it,” she shakes her head, but you have a feeling you won’t like what she has to say. “They want it to be like a… joined performance. You’d start off with Sleepless, then it would kind of mesh into your partner’s song and they would end it with one of their own songs.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound bad,” you nod.

“See?” she smiles warmly.

“Do we know who I’m going to perform with?”

“Harry Styles.”

You almost drop both mugs the moment the name is mentioned, but you manage to get them to the kitchen island and slip them to the counter, Taylor giving you a questioning look at your wide-eyed expression.

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s… gonna work,” you clear your throat.

“You’re not sure your duet with the biggest male artist can work? Why is that?”

Licking your lips you try to find the right words to say it, but you’re not even sure why you got so shocked over it. Probably because the last time you saw him, you were still nobody, playing gigs at no name bars and he took your spot on the stage with One Direction. It’s weird, but since you’ve finally made it in the industry, you haven’t crossed paths with him and this would be the first time you meet after seven years.

“I’m not sure if he remembers it, but we’ve met before.”

“You and Harry?”

“Yes. I was playing with The Gambits years ago, it was before I started putting out covers on my own. We were supposed to play at this bar but they cancelled on us, because One Direction was there that night and someone wanted them to play instead of us, so we lost the gig. I had a pretty… harsh conversation with him and the band, basically telling them that their pretty man privilege is what ruins the careers of talented women.” “Oh Jesus, Y/N. Why haven’t I heard of this before?” Taylor sighs leaning on her elbows on the countertop.

“Not that it’s something that would just come up in a conversation,” you shrug. “And as I said, he might not even remember it. It was a long time ago.”

“I know you are all about your rebellious past, good for you, but sometimes you’re making my job really fucking hard,” she sighs, grabbing her phone, already typing a message to God knows who. “Starting beef with Harry Styles before you even made a name for yourself? Who does that?”

“It’s not beef!” you protest. “I just gave them my piece of mind.”

“We’ll see what he thinks about it. I have to make a few calls,” she announces before walking out, already on the phone with someone.

Sitting on a stool, staring into your mug you think back at the time you met him. It feels like a lifetime ago when you were fighting to stay afloat, trying to make through the days, barely hanging on a thread. You didn’t know that five years later you’d sign your first record deal as a solo artist and seven years from that night, you’d be a Grammy nominee. It was a long and challenging time for sure with way more downs than ups until you finally got on track and you’ll never forget where you came from. Not when even as an acknowledged artist, you still face judgment and hatred no matter what you do. Being a solo female singer sometimes feels like harder than being president of the country and there are just so many things that need to change in the world of music, you will never stop fighting for girls that are in the same shoe you once were.

Through the years you’ve followed the career of the boys, especially Harry’s. You read about Zayn’s parting, their so-called hiatus and how they all went solo soon after. Genre-wise Harry’s work is what stands the closest to you, and you’ve witnessed all the backlash he has faced during his time in the spotlight. The shaming for whatever women he chose to date, his choice to get into acting and the way he has been dressing. People just don’t seem to understand they can’t have control over any of these and they���ve tried to bring him down one too many times, but he has been thriving lately, anyone can see that.

Your mug empties out by the time Taylor returns, taking her previous stop at the kitchen island.

“Alright, I set up a meeting with Harry and his manager for tomorrow. They still haven’t decided on the performance and apparently, Harry would like to meet you before giving his answer.”

“Oh God, he remembers me,” you growl under your breath.

“Or maybe he doesn’t and just wants to meet the person he is supposed to perform with. We can never know. We’re meeting them at his manager’s office at eleven tomorrow.”

One night is enough to make you go crazy over such a small thing as meeting someone. It’s not like you are nervous to see him because of who he is, it’s more about knowing what he thinks about you after all these years, in case he remembers you. He saw you as a struggling artist at rock bottom and though your encounter didn’t last long and he didn’t know you on a deeper, personal level, you still fear that he remembers and thinks that you’ve lost yourself over the years.

Authenticity has been a huge issue in your life. Early in your career, everyone wanted to change you. The way you dress, your hair, the style of music you write, nothing was good enough as it was, they wanted you to become someone else, someone who was not you. You fought all attempts until the right person came through and accepted you as yourself, but a tiny voice in the back of your mind kept telling you that they succeeded, that somewhere along the fight you did lose yourself and became what you always feared to be.

Meeting Harry is like meeting a piece of your past and having to face what you’ve become. It’s going to be like a mirror right in front of you and what you’ll see might not be what you expect.

Wearing your bright red dungaree with an oversized vintage shirt and a pair of white sneakers, you definitely don’t look like you’re dressed for a business meeting, but when did you ever? Pushing your hair back with a pair of cat eye shades, you leave a little earlier, knowing well traffic is horrible in these hours. You arrive to the office building just minutes before eleven, Taylor has already texted that she has arrived and which office you should come to. When you finally find the door you’ve been looking for, you take a moment to yourself before knocking.

“Come in!” a male voice calls out and you walk in. Taylor is sitting on the sofa that’s pushed against the wall on the left, a man is sitting behind the enormous desk and then there is Harry, standing by the window, his hands hidden in the pockets of his black slacks, and old Rolling Stones t-shirt hanging loosely on his frame as his eyes meet yours upon your arrival.

“Hey, I would say I’m sorry for being late, but I’m actually exactly on time,” you smirk, closing the door behind you. The man stands from the desk and walking around he meets at the front, holding a hand out for you.

“Perfectly on time,” he smiles warmly. “I’m Jeffrey Azoff, nice to meet you.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you too.”

“And this here is Harry,” he motions towards the man who has stepped closer and as you look back at him, you’re met with a blank expression for a moment so you can’t figure out if he remembers you or not. But then, a tiny smile tugs on his lips as he holds his hand out for you.

“We’ve met before, right?” he simply questions, and your eyes flicker over to Taylor in a kind of “See? I told you!” manner before you look back at Harry and shake his hand.

“Yeah, we have,” you nod. “A long time ago.”

“Congrats for your nominations,” he smirks, his hand letting go of yours and your let out a soft chuckle.

“Well, thank you. Back at you.”

“Alright, why don’t we start this discussion? We have a lot to go over,” Jeff suggests and you sit beside Taylor while Harry stays near the window, as if he is trying to soak up the sunshine coming through it that’s painting his skin a golden shade.

The concept is simple. The performance would be a mashup from Sleepless and Harry’s song Golden with an exciting and fresh way of mixing the two songs together in the middle, making your song flow into his in a smooth and effortless way. The songs sound compatible and you already have an idea how to mash them together for the transition, but you can’t help but feel doubts over the performance.

“What are your concerns exactly?” Jeff questions.

“Not to come off too harsh, but why is my song the first one?” you ask, earning a few puzzled looks. “If Harry finishes it off, he is going to be the one people will remember more and he’ll get the applause as well. The riffs in the songs allow them to be switched, how come it’s not me who comes second?”

You can see the shock on Jeffrey’s face at how straight-forward you were about your concern and that you even dared to speak up about the issue. He clearly hasn’t had to face anything similar before and when he glances at Harry you follow his gaze as well, but instead of shock, what you see on his face is amusement. He is smirking, tapping his fingers against his chin as he stares back at you.

“She has a point,” he nods and you take a deep breath. For a moment, you really thought this is going to be the part where you are thrown off and Harry makes the performance only his.

“I, uhh—this is what’s been requested,” Jeff answers and you tilt your head.

“Okay, can we make a request to change it?” you simply ask, eyeing Taylor next to you who is typing on her iPad vigorously, taking notes of everything that’s said. She is already used to what you’re like, she is not even surprised you came up with the prompt to change.

“Hold on, so just because you want to be second, you get to be?” Harry questions, but he doesn’t come off as harsh, it seems like he is entertained by the conversation. “Does this mean I don’t deserve to be the second one?”

“That’s-That’s not what I meant,” you answer, taken aback from his accusation and you hate to admit, but he is right. You addressed the issue, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the spot either.

“Alright, so then we need to seek a solution that benefits the both of us,” he offers, walking closer from the sunlight and you follow his every movement.

“We could do some kind of medley? Do an ultimate mashup from more songs and have more smaller parts split between us, finishing it together,” you suggest and he nods.

“That could work, but I have something else on my mind.”

“And what would that be?” Jeff asks, a little lost about the situation as he watches the two of you exchange ideas.

“We could write a song together, a duet, and perform that instead of our solo stuff.”

“What?” you snap right away. “You want to write a whole new song just for the Grammy’s?”

“Why not?” he smiles carefreely. “We have almost two entire months to do it, albums have been written in shorter periods, I’m sure we can handle just one song. And I think a collaboration would be a hit for the both of us now.”

You look at Taylor who just stares back at you, ignoring the panic in your eyes.

“Don’t look at me,” she tells you. “I can see the collaboration working, it could be a huge hit.”

“And what, we’re gonna release it as a single after the show? Whose song is it going to be? I don’t have an album coming up until next year, do you get to have it on your third one then?”

“We can put it out as just a single. No one has to have it on any albums,” Harry replies. “If we released it after the show, it would be just the right timing. Neither of us had any new songs out in a while.” Clenching your jaw you’re trying to find a way out of this collaboration, though you’re not even sure yourself why. Taylor sees right through you, knowing well you’re planning your escape, but she has other plans apparently.

“Y/N, let’s have a few words outside,” she pushes herself up and pulls you with her. Once the door is shut behind the two of you she starts right away. “What the fuck is your problem? The song is a huge thing, it would be an instant hit with him on it!”

“Why do I need a song with him to stay relevant?” you question, folding your arms on your chest.

“No one said it’s about that. But we both know it would be a great push to your name that Jordan has stomped over not so long ago, calling you a Feminist Nazi.”

“Don’t even fucking mention him!” you whisper yell, refusing to even think about that trashbag of a man that ruined your life with his fake accusations.

“Look, I know what you are thinking, that you’ll be seen as just an object next to him, a pair of boobs and nice legs, but that’s not his brand. He doesn’t need you to be sexy next to him, he is known for his honest and real works that go farther than just twerking and being a hoe. We both know he produces meaningful music, so why are you so against it?”

“I just… I-I’m scared to work with him,” you finally admit and it’s the first thing today that surprises Taylor.

“Scared? Thought you’re not scared of anything,” she huffs.

“I never said that,” you give her a look. “Harry met me when I was nobody, it was just me and my big mouth, trying to find my breakout. What if we start working together and he sees that I completely lost that version of myself? I would feel like a liar, an impostor.”

“You are overreacting,” Taylor sighs. “You’ve changed on your way here, but I doubt you are that far from the girl he met before. I know we didn’t meet just a few years after, but I can assure you, you’re still that big-mouthed pain in the ass who fights every norm in the industry like no one else.”

You know she is right, she is always right. Taylor knows you too well, that’s why you love working with her, but sometimes, her honesty throws you way off, especially when she is stating the truth.

The two of you rejoin the two men in the office and they both look at you with anticipation as you fold your arms on your chest and move your gaze over to Harry.

“I would… love to work on a song with you.”

When you agreed to work with Harry you didn’t think you’d find yourself heading over to his house a few days later to have a writing session, but he offered right away that day in the office and Taylor accepted it before you could protest. You’ve had a day filled with meetings and fittings and now you’re rolling up his driveway after punching the security code in that he shared with you over text.

You’ve exchanged numbers on the spot and just like that, you’ve become one of the few people on this world that could contact Harry Styles anytime they want to.

You chose to be casual for the occasion, wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a white hoodie, you like to be comfortable whenever you’re working on new music and Harry’s presence won’t change your ways about that. You’re not sure what to expect, if you’re being honest you’re still afraid of being alone with Harry and do such an emotional thing together as writing a song.

The front door opens just as you get out of your car, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. Harry walks out wearing a pair of shorts and a green hoodie, looking like he hasn’t left the house all day.

“Hey, you found the address easily?” he asks smiling as you walk up to him.

“Yeah, everything went fine.”

“Do you want something to drink or eat maybe?” he offers as the two of you walk inside. If you’re being honest, you’re starving, the last time you had anything to eat was between two meetings around ten, but nothing since then, just a granola bar. But you’re a first time guest, you can’t just eat up his fridge, like you’re old pals, right?

However, Harry can see right through you.

“You haven’t had anything in a long time, right?” he softly asks and you purse your lips, feeling awkward already and you haven’t been here for more than two minutes. “I can make you a sandwich, if you’d like.” “Harry, no need, I—“ “No need, but I want to. Come on,” he nods at you, making you follow him into the kitchen. “So, who would have thought we would be here now, huh?” he smirks at you as he gathers the ingredients and starts working on your food while you sit on one of the stools at his kitchen island.

“Not me,” you admit chuckling. “I kind of didn’t think I would see you again, I mean, personally. I was seeing you a lot on TV after that.”

“Now might be a good time to confess that, that night wasn’t the last time I saw you.”

“What?”

“I went to one of your gigs a few weeks later. Stayed at the back, I just really wanted to see you play.”

“And what did you think?” you ask tilting your head to the side. Harry smirks, his eyes meeting yours before they return to the food under his hands.

“You absolutely smashed it. And I felt even worse for taking your time away that night. The people were robbed from a mind-blowing performance and had to see five annoying guys clown on the stage,” he laughs making you chuckle too. “I wasn’t surprised when your name surfaced a few years later. Knew you’d make it at one point.” He joins you at the island and slides the plate in front of you with a warm smile.

“Thank you,” you mumble smiling shyly before you start eating and only after the first bite you feel just how hungry you’ve been. “Now that we are at it, I want to apologize for the way I talked to you guys back then. I feel like I was a bigger asshole than I should have been and the whole situation wasn’t entirely your fault.”

“No need to apologize,” he shakes his head. “You were absolutely right. We had no business being on stage that night and what you said actually made us think about where we came from and appreciate our career more. You were right about having it easy at the beginning. We never had the phase where we had to push our way to the top like other artists, our first days were broadcasted on TV, giving us the biggest push ever.”

It’s good to hear he is not holding grudges against you for whatever went down in the past. You eat in silence while Harry types a response to a message on his phone before turning it with the screen down to pay his full attention to you.

“I actually just messaged Niall that we are working together and he is losing his shit over it,” he chuckles softly.

“You guys still talk?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Not all of us thought,” he adds, pressing his lips together.

“You miss being with the band?”

“It’s… good to rely on someone in certain situations. As a solo artist, you only have yourself and that’s about it. But I think you already know that.”

“I never really liked being in a band,” you admit.

“How come? I think you fit in well with The Gambits.”

You shrug, chewing on your bite slowly. It’s probably not the best time to admit that you prefer working on your own, when you’re about to get into a duet with him.

“I uhh… I always imagined myself being a solo artist and I just couldn’t stay with the guys too long, especially when I got my record deal.”

“Why?” Letting out a long breath you lick your lips looking at him.

“I would have never made it in a band with three guys. It would have always been about which one I’m sleeping with, who am I having an affair with or if I’m lesbian because I’m not hooking up with any of them. This is just how it goes for women.”

Harry stays quiet, taking your words in as you finish the sandwich that was literally lifesaving. You wash the plate even when he tells you to just leave it in the sink, and once that’s done, the two of you move over to his little home studio in the basement of his house.

“So, where do we start?” you ask, making yourself comfortable in one of the armchairs while he grabs an acoustic guitar and sits on the one next to you.

“How do you usually start writing?” he asks scratching his chin before he rests his hands on the body of the guitar.

“Well, most of the times I write when I’m pissed about something,” you huff and Harry smirks at you.

“Nothing pissed you off lately?”

“Not enough to make me write a song,” you point out. “See, this is one of the reasons why I was hesitant to write a song with you. It doesn’t come that easily for me.”

“And what were the other reasons?” You shut your mouth at his question, you weren’t expecting him to pick it up, but apparently, he listens more than you thought.

“It’s… a long story.”

“And we have all the time,” he smiles slyly. “But of course, don’t feel pressured to share. I just thought it would be nice to get to know each other more so we can work together easier.”

Harry starts strumming his guitar gently, playing random riffs as you watch him, chewing on your bottom lip. Taylor asked you to try and be more open than you usually are and though part of you wants to keep the wall high between you and him, something is telling you to try and reach out to him.

“I didn’t want to do it, because I didn’t want to be seen as just a pretty face next to you. In duets between a man and a woman, females are often seen as just an object, a sight for the eyes but not as serious artists. I worked hard to be taken seriously and I was hesitant about collaborating with you even though your music is not necessarily what I should fear.”

Harry looks back at you with an unreadable expression and you feel like he is judging you for standing up for yourself. Your fight for yourself is often mistaken as “being a bitch” or “being too sensitive” and the amount of times you’ve been told to just chill is upsetting.

“Well, good thing then that I won’t write music about twerking,” he then finally speaks up, a smile breaking his blank expression.

“But you do write a lot about sex,” you point out with a smirk.

“That I do, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist at the same time.”

“You’re right,” you nod smiling.

 The writing process turns out to be harder than you thought. You’re not specifically inspired and Harry is the person to just throw things around until he finds something he likes. The two of you put together is kind of chaotic as you try to come up with something useful.

Two hours later you have a raw version of a melody that could serve as a chorus, but nothing else, no full melody, no lyrics. And if you’re being honest, you don’t like that chorus that much either.

“It’ll be fun to just stand on stage for three minutes and do absolutely nothing, because we couldn’t write anything,” you groan, sliding lower in your seat, rubbing your face with your hands.

“It’s literally our first session and we have plenty of time, Y/N. Don’t stress about it.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“You don’t know how not to stress?”

“I literally haven’t had a stressfree day since about 2007, so no, I don’t know.”

“You can’t chill even when you smoke?” he asks and you give him a puzzled look. “What, you smoke, don’t you?”

“Cigarettes? I put it down in 2015.”

“No, I’m not talking about cigarettes,” Harry chuckles softly. “You don’t smoke weed?” You shyly shake your head. “Really? I would have sworn you’re the type to relax with a good joint. Want to try it?”

“What? Now?” you ask with wide eyes.

“Why not?” he shrugs and walks over to the little side table in the corner of the room and reaching into it he simply pulls a little plastic bag out with three joints in them.

“Are you just casually keeping joints around your house?”

“I don’t really smoke them, they make me feel sleepy. But some of my friends like it so I keep a few around,” he explains as he takes one out and puts the rest back. “You want to try?”

“I-I’m not sure… I have to drive back home.”

“You can stay for the night, I have three guest bedrooms,” he shrugs before his eyes meet yours. “Again, not trying to pressure you, I’m just offering.”

“Are you gonna smoke?”

“We can share one if you want. I would recommend smoking one by yourself for the first time.”

“Okay,” you nod shortly as you watch him tip-tap the joint a little, rolling it between his fingers before he takes it between his lips and reaches for a lighter. “Wait, shouldn’t we do it somewhere outside? The smoke is gonna get stuck in here.”

Harry stops, thinking about what you said and he nods. Grabbing the guitar he asks you to follow him and the two of you move up and out to the terrace, sinking into his lounge chairs. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as you watch Harry light the joint and take the first few puffs. As he exhales the smoke he holds the joint out for you and you take it, hesitantly putting it between your lips as you inhale for the first time. You can’t help but scowl at the taste, the whole act of smoking feeling strange after years of smoking your last cigarette. You keep it down a little before puffing the smoke out and passing the joint back to Harry.

You keep switching until you make it past half of it and you finally start to feel the effect of it. You feel light, like you’re floating in the pool that’s in front of you, you can almost feel the water touching your skin yet you’re still dry.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, blinking at you with hooded eyes.

“I’m feeling… fine,” you chuckle softly as you take the joint from him and drag from it again. “Do you do other drugs?”

“I’ve done shrooms a few times, not often though. I’m not trying to pick up an addiction,” he smiles softly, running a hand through his hair. “Have you done anything?”

“No,” you shake your head. “Didn’t have the money for it before and then didn’t have time later. But I never really felt the need either.”

“And you said you put down the cigarette as well?”

“Yeah. I knew I had to do that sooner or later, it was starting to change my voice and I couldn’t have that.”

“That’s what we always told Louis, that his voice will turn to shit if he keeps smoking,” Harry chuckles softly, dragging from the joint before he passes it over to you, not much left of it.

“Did he ever stop?”

“I think he put it down when his son was born, but I don’t know if he started again.”

You give the joint back for him to finish it and you watch him put it out in the ashtray before he sinks down in the lounge chair, closing his eye for a bit, breathing steadily. You find it amusing how you can still see the guy that handed you a check years ago at that bar, trying to make things right, but he also looks like a completely different person at the same time. He is more mature and open in his mindset and just the way he approaches things in general. The Harry you met seven years ago was still searching his way, but the version lying next to you now is a lot more confident in who he really is.

“Want to take a picture?” he hums keeping his eyes closed.

“What?”

His eyes peel open and turn to face you, a smug smirk on his lips.

“You’ve been staring at me. Take a picture, it lasts longer.”

“You are way too full of yourself,” you scoff and pushing yourself up from the lounge chair you walk over to the edge of the pool, mesmerized by the way the light is dancing on the surface.

You never really thought about what weed would feel like in your system, but it feels oddly tranquil and relaxing. In a way your body feels a little strange, like it’s not even yours, but you also sense everything very… loudly.

“You alright?” you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind, the tapping on his feet signaling that he is walking closer to you.

“Yeah,” you nod without taking your eyes off of the water.

“Do you want to go for a swim?”

“What?” you breathe out turning to face him.

“Do you want to go in?” he rephrases his question with a small smile.

“I don’t… have a bathing suit,” you answer and the moment the words leave your mouth they feel so ridiculous even when you were just stating the truth.

“Okay, but you are wearing underwear, aren’t you?” he smirks. “Or I’m completely fine if you want to go in naked,” he adds smugly.

“Shut up,” you chuckle. “Can you… maybe give me a pair of shorts? I’m fine without a bra when I come out but I would rather have my underwear on dry.”

“Sure,” he hums and turning around he jogs back into the house while you stay right there, staring at the water again.

With each passing moment you get calmer, the outside world and everything in life that’s not happening right in this moment eases into nothingness, your mind numbs in the best way possible.

When Harry returns he is wearing a pair of yellow swimming shorts, two towels are thrown over his shoulders and he has a pair of white shorts in his hands.

“This is the smallest thing I have, I think it’ll be fine,” he comments handing you the shorts.

“Thanks,” you nod before he shows you the way to the closest bathroom where you change out of your clothes leaving them in a neatly folded pile on the counter, you put on the shorts that are a little big on you, but once you’ve tied the strings it seems to be staying up steadily. Your simple black bra is not showing more than what a bikini top would, so you feel fine walking out in your attire.

Harry is sitting at the edge of the pool, his legs moving around in the water. His head lifts hearing your steps and he smiles at you, standing up when you arrive.

“Fits fine,” he nods, taking a look at the shorts.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

Walking over to the steps you dip your feet in first, testing the temperature before you start going in further, Harry following you right behind. Just as you expected, the water feels smooth against your skin, warmly caressing and swallowing your body as you get in, the surface reaching your chest. You let your arms move around, feel how the water runs through your fingers, it’s amusing and you enjoy it probably more than you should. It’s just water, but right now it feels like a pile of clouds.

“I know I suggested to smoke and then swim, but please don’t drown into my pool, I won’t be able to talk myself out of that,” he chuckles, easing him into the water until it reaches his neck.

“My life is in your hands, Harry,” you smirk at him before you follow him and let the water swallow your whole body up to your neck.  “This feels so nice.”

“Yeah? You like it?” he smirks.

“Mm, like I’m… floating through space.”

“In a sense, you are floating in the water,” he chuckles. “You don’t feel sick, right?”

“No, I’m fine,” you smile at him shortly.

You move over to the edge of the pool, laying your arms to the side, holding yourself up so your legs could float in the water. You watch Harry dive under and swim across the pool, reaching the far end before he pushes himself over to you.

“When I went to see you perform there was a song I really liked, but I never found it anywhere later.”

“Which one?”

“The chorus went like… Crashing and crumbling, I’m fighting for my breath, Today won’t be the day I’m meeting death…”

You suck on your breath, surprised how well he remembered the lines even after so many years. He recalled them perfectly, even singing the melody a little with them.

“I never recorded it in studio,” you admit quietly.

“Why not?”

“Because it felt too emotional and I didn’t want it to be just out there.”

“What was the name of the song?”

“It’s called Till I Die. I wrote it when…” You take a deep breath, feeling heavy just by talking about it, but something is urging you to share it with him. “I left from home right after I graduated high school, broke contact with my parents completely and I had a few very rough years, trying to just… keep myself alive, I guess.”

“Can I ask why you left your parents?”

“We had very different visions of what I should become. And I didn’t intend to live the life they imagined for me. My parents are very… traditional, my career in their eyes is just some kind of circus when I’m the clown on the stage. They don’t take any of it seriously and they made it very clear at the beginning that they don’t want me to become a musician. I was supposed to become a surgeon, my dad is one and my mom is in criminal law, they both worked very hard to get to where they are, but they don’t think that’s exactly what I’m doing as well.”

The last person you shared it with was Taylor and though it feels odd to open up about these old wounds again, but having Harry as the one listening to you just feels right.

“You haven’t talked to them since you left?”

“No,” you shake your head.

“And they didn’t even try to contact you?”

“Well, I made sure they couldn't. Changed my number first thing I set my feet outside the house and I never left them any of my addresses. I know it sounds cruel, but I didn’t want to do anything with them after the shaming they put me through when I told them I don’t want to become their perfect little daughter. They told me that I could consider myself disowned from the family if I dare to even write a song.”

“Woah, that sounds really tough.”

“It was,” you nod. “I wasn’t asking them to support me in any other way apart from just being there for me. It’s not like I wanted to spend the money the put aside for my tuition to buy guitars and tour the country, I just wanted them to… accept who I am, but apparently, I asked for too much.”

You feel tears forming in your eyes, but you wipe them quickly. It’s been long since the last time you let the thought of your parents, you’ve been good at keeping these feelings bottled up and in the deepest end of your mind. It’s not like you’re going around and just share your trauma with anyone you meet, but it felt comfortable to share it with Harry.

“I’m sorry about that. Everyone should have a support, especially in our job.”

“I had… myself,” you chuckle bitterly. “Became pretty good at relying only on myself.”

“I’m guessing it’s another reason why you prefer working alone, right?” he smiles at you softly.

“You could say that,” you nod into the water.

“I know it’ll sound cheesy, but… if you ever want to talk, I’m here,” he offers.

“Oh, are we becoming friends?” you ask chuckling.

“We’ve known each other for long enough to be friends, am I right?” he smirks, splashing some water in your way.

“We met a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean we know each other. Everything I know about you is from articles and gossip sites and I think you can only say the same thing,” you point out.

“Okay, then let’s get to know each other.”

“What, do you want to play 21 questions now or something?” you huff.

“Damn right,” he smirks.

And that’s exactly what you do. Swimming around in the pool you ask each other questions, some are funny, some are more serious and you slowly start to get to know each other, seven years after meeting for the first time, but in a way it feels like it’s been just last week when you were talking in the alleyway.

The weed soon dies down in your system, leaving you incredibly tired and it’s only then you realize it’s already past one am. Pulling out of the pool, you both grab a towel drying yourselves up before making your way back into the house.

“The guest bedroom next to mine has a bathroom so I think that’s the best one. I can give you something to sleep in if you’d like,” Harry offers as you follow him down the hallway.

“I think I’m fine in my sweats, but thank you.” He shows you the room, tells you how to change the AC if you feel too cold or hot and then bidding goodbye he is about to go to his own room when you stop him.

“Thank you for… today. I know we didn’t get far with the song, but… I liked hanging out with you,” you admit with a shy smile, leaning against the doorframe.

“Don’t worry about the song, it’ll be fine. And I liked it too. We can make it a regular thing, if you want. You can come over, we’d chill and try to cook up something for the song.”

“I, uhh… Yeah, that sounds good,” you nod, he shoots you a smile before turning around and disappearing in his room.

The morning doesn’t turn out at all any awkward, especially because you don’t get to stay around too long. You have a meeting at eleven so you have to leave in time to go home and get changed before that. Harry makes you coffee, which is lifesaving, the two of you sit at the terrace as you drink it and you arrange to meet in two days to try and have another, hopefully more successful session for the song.

You genuinely enjoyed your time with Harry and to think that you didn’t only smoked weed for the first time with him, but also opened up about your parents, you feel a kind of connection forming and you can only hope you’re not gonna regret it later.

You move on with work after leaving from Harry’s that morning, you have some fittings for upcoming photoshoots and an interview scheduled, so there’s not much time for you to sit around. Tonight you’re supposed to meet Harry again at his place for another session and you feel buzzed about it. You meet Taylor for lunch, sitting on the terrace of your usual place she is talking you through everything that’s coming up the next week, just like you always do so then you can put work aside and have a real chat.

“So how did the writing session go?” she asks, digging into her salad that she always asks with extra chicken.

“The writing? Not so well. But we had a good time,” you truthfully admit.

“Good, good! You’re finally making friends!” Taylor grins, satisfied with the news. You just roll your eyes at her, turning back to your food right when you notice that your phone has been blowing up with notifications.

Huffing you grab it from the table with the pure intention of muting it down completely, but then you see that several people have texted you the same link and it bugs your curiosity so you open one of the messages and tap on the link.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groan, feeling your rage already pushing up your spine, clouding your vision in red.

“What?” Taylor snaps, reaching for her phone out of reflex.

“That fucking asshole dragged my name again!”

“Who? Jordan? That fucker never learns?” Taylor hisses, her thumbs vigorously typing on the screen immediately.

“Someone asked him about me on Twitter and he dared to call me a lying bitch! I can’t fucking believe this man!”

You and Jordan worked together on a project a while ago. You were supposed to write lyrics to a song he was composing and it was meant for an upcoming popular Netflix show, so the anticipation around the song was huge, especially when word got out that Ariana Grande might end up singing it. During your time working together he very blatantly tried to hit on you, which you politely shut down, because one, you didn’t intend to date someone you were working so close with and two, you just simply weren’t into him. However, he couldn’t take rejection the way a mature, almost thirty years old man should. It started off very subtly, but once you’ve had a chat with him to stop posting obnoxious and suggesting things about you on his social media, because it’s making it hard for you to be taken seriously as an artist and that people will just see you as another celeb which you don’t want to be, he just completely lost his shit. He called you different names on Twitter a few times, the worst were Feminist Nazi and a cock teasing slut, and he just somehow never fails to mention that you lied about your intentions with him, when you were clearer than daylight that you didn’t want a thing from him other than work.

When you realized he isn’t going to be stopping anytime soon, you took him to court, dragged his ass in front of the judge and won the case, which ended with him having to pay you thirty thousand dollars and he was ordered to clear all his platforms from your name for good. You really thought that taught him a lesson, especially because against your will, the case got some publicity and he ended up making headlines about the fault accusations he made about you, but it seems like he didn’t have enough.

You wouldn’t worry that much about his new tweet, knowing that he is the one lying, but the trials took a toll on you. It was at the beginning of the time when you were making yourself a name and even though you won, his accusations stung for some people and some even thought him to be the victim. You fell out of two brand deals and an important interview in the upcoming months which was a major setback and all for what? Because a man couldn’t accept rejection? The sad part is that if it would have happened the other way around, he wouldn’t have had to suffer any effect of it, people don’t tend to question a man’s words when he is showing this charming and nice persona to the public. If you accused him the same way you would have been dragged and titled as a sour crybaby and Jordan’s life would have carried on the same way.

The peaceful lunch soon falls through as Taylor turns on her beast mode to at least get the tweet down as soon as possible, already contacting the legal team you worked with before. It has to be against what you agreed on at the end of the trials, he can’t just go around and drag you again without any consequences.

In just about twenty minutes, the tweets disappear from Jordan’s feed, but you know it was already late the moment he posted it. If something gets out on the internet it never goes away, there are probably hundreds if not thousands of screenshots floating around that will preserve his words forever.

You part ways Taylor as he heads to an immediate meeting with the lawyers you worked together previously, she tells you to try not to worry about it, but you can’t just turn it off in you, that’s not how it works.

Making your way home you keep riling yourself up about it, thinking about what it’s gonna cause you this time, what opportunity is going to be taken because a man has called you a lying bitch, even after winning the previous trial against him that proves how big of an asshole he really is.

Changing into a casual attire you head to Harry’s place a little earlier, hoping it’s not a problem you get there an hour before you were supposed to. Arriving you’re a little taken aback seeing that there is another car parking on the driveway that’s not his and you immediately regret coming here, but before you could leave, the front door opens and Harry walks out. You couldn’t have left without noticing, the security system must have signaled your arrival when you punched the opening code in.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks instead of questioning your early arrival.

“I uhh—I’m sorry for being early, I could go—“

“Don’t be silly, come on in!” he waves at you and you walk up the stairs. “Two friends are here but they were just about to leave soon,” he explains as you walk in.

“Sorry for crashing the party,” you let out a soft chuckle.

“The more the merrier,” he smiles. “You seem a little stressed, everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just… It’s nothing,” you shake your head.

“Oh my God, is that who I think it is?” you hear a woman’s voice from behind and turning around you see a smiley brunette walking towards you, a shy looking guy following behind her.

“Sarah, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Sarah, my drummer, and that wanker over there is Mitch, my guitarist.”

“Nice to meet you.” Shaking hands with both of them you realize they look familiar from pictures you’ve seen from Harry’s tour.

“I saw that ugly tweet today, that guy needs to be kicked in the balls,” Sarah sighs with a sympathetic smile, Harry’s ears perking up.

“What tweet?” he asks, eyes switching between you and Sarah.

“Oh, just… Jordan Wells thinks it’s fine to drag people with absolutely no truth behind his words,” you answer with a tight-lipped smile.

“Jordan Wells? The name rings a bell,” Harry hums.

“He is a music producer,” Mitch chimes in.

“I think he was supposed to write for 1D one time, but the deal fell through. Guess we didn’t miss out on anything,” he jokes and it brings a genuine smile to your face.

“You surely didn’t,” you comment under your breath.

You chat with Sarah and Mitch for a bit before they decide to head out, but Sarah asks you to come around sometime they are hanging out and you gladly say yes, wanting to know her and Mitch better, they seem like great company and even greater musicians, it’s always good to meet people who are like you.

As Harry walks his friends out you make yourself comfortable on the couch, reading Taylor’s texts about the update on the recent actions, she has gotten in contact with Jordan’s team and legal steps will be taken if Jordan doesn’t show any sign of improvement in the very near future.

“Hey, want something to drink? Wine or beer maybe?” Harry walks in as you look up from your phone.

“Wine sounds fucking fantastic,” you breathe out earning a soft chuckle from him. You follow him into the kitchen and watch him get a bottle of white wine with two glasses. “I hope Sarah and Mitch didn’t leave early because of me.”

“Oh, not at all. They knew you’d be coming over and would have left around this time, so don’t worry about it.”

He joins you at the kitchen island with the two glasses handing you one and you take a sip from it with a satisfied hum.

“So, want to talk about this Jordan ordeal?”

“There’s not much to talk, really,” you shrug. “He is a jerk and I just can’t seem to get rid of him and I didn’t even date the guy…”

“What did he do this time?”

“Oh, he just casually called me a lying bitch on Twitter, so that’s fun,” you let out a fake laugh, raising your glass before taking a big swig from it.

“Not that creative, if you’re asking me,” he jokes making you laugh. “It’s a very plain choice of words.”

“Yeah, not as good as his best which was calling me a feminist nazi.”

Harry almost chokes on his wine as you say the words, coughing a little while you watch him with an entertained smirk.

“That’s… an interesting way to express his opinion about you,” he answers diplomatically.

“Right? I was thinking about getting a sign of it, like a Live, Love, Laugh one, in the middle of my living room.”

“Would be a wonderful touch of décor,” he smirks. “Alright, I have a proposal for today’s session.”

“Shoot it.”

“You seemed to enjoy your weed experience the last time, I thought we could give it a try again, but we would try to write this time as well.”

“You want to write while smoking?” you ask raising your eyebrows at him.

“Only if you want to. I just thought it would relax you a bit, might even come up with some interesting ideas for the song.”

“Are you trying to turn me into an addict?” you narrow your eyes at him and he just holds his hands up innocently.

“Told you, no pressure,” he smirks angelically.

“I feel like I’m not even coming here to work but to meet with my new dealer,” you chuckle making him laugh. “Okay, we can… give it a try.”

 An hour and one joint per person later the two of you are lounging in his living room, he is sprawled out on the loveseat with a guitar on his arms while you are curled upon the sectional, fumbling with the strings of your hoodie.

“We should just… fucking steal a song,” you snort, finding your comment hilarious.

“Which one were you thinking about?” Harry smirks your way, his fingers gently strumming some random melody on the instrument.

“I really want to have a Madonna song to be mine,” you sigh dreamily.

“You’re a fan?”

“Oh, I grew up on her. I have an elaborate choreography for Hung Up,” you snort.

“You need to perform it for me.”

“No fucking way,” you laugh shaking your head. “Not even weed can make me dance for you.”

“Come on, I need to see that choreography, you can’t just hint it and then never show it to me!”

“Nah, not happening,” you laugh, sliding lower down in your seat, your head resting against the armrest of the couch.

You listen to him play the same melody over and over again with your eyes closed and though you really like what you are hearing, no words are forming in your mind that could serve as lyrics. Your phone buzzes on the cushion next to you and grabbing it you see a text from Taylor.

Taylor: Lawyers are on the case, we’ll have more tomorrow, don’t stress about it too much. Night! Xx

Sighing you drop the device back next to you, covering your eyes with your arms.

“You alright?” Harry softly asks.

“Nah, I just want to… disappear,” you sigh, tired of this fight you’ve been fighting for way too long.

“Is this about Jordan? He is a fucking ass, most people know it.”

“But not everyone!” you snap throwing your hands up. “And that fraction that still believes that he is saying the truth is enough to ruin my life. I’m fucking fed up with the injustice women have to face because of the patriarchy we are forced to live in!” Pushing yourself up you run a hand through your hair, hugging your knees to your chest. “It’s so fucking upsetting, like everything I do goes straight down the drain because of one little thing and I’m stuck with trying to rebuild my whole future plan.”

From a sudden urge, you move down to the floor, lying down on the fluffy rug that runs under the couches and the glass coffee table. It feels nice, kind of grounding to lie flat on the floor, especially because your senses are all messed up again because of the weed, but in a good kind of way.

“You worry way too much on longterm things. Try to stay in the moment a little more,” Harry tells you, putting the guitar to the side so he can move his feet to the floor, leaning onto his knees. “You can’t control this much what happens in the future, you should only care about today. And today, you’ve done good, you made it through another day, you did what you had to do and that’s it. Stressing about tomorrow or the next week or next year is just way too much to deal with all the time, twenty-four-seven, three-six-five, that’s just no way to live.”

Lying on the floor you stare up at the ceiling seemingly blankly, but your mind starts to swirl over what he just told you. The worlds are running around, mixing and mingling until something starts to form, making you gasp.

“Grab the guitar,” you tell him, sitting up abruptly. He pulls his eyebrows together, but does as you told him to, holding the instrument on his lap as he waits for you to instruct him more. “Play that… that melody you’ve been playing, but a little faster.”

He turns his attention at the guitar, trying the strings out a few times, feeling the melody under his fingers before he starts playing it just how you asked as you slowly start to sing the lines you have just thought about.

“You made it through… another day, you made it through another day… You did it, let’s celebrate…”

The lines fit perfectly with the melody he has come up with and the more you sing, the wider his smile grows as you move along in the forming song.

“Some days you feel you’ll break, but you made it through another day, yeah, you did it, let’s celebrate…”

“Don’t fucking stop!” he chimes in, never stopping the riffs, trying out new things as you go, slowly perfecting it together with the lyrics.

“Twenty-four-seven and three-six-five, you made another day, you made it alive! Made another day made it alive!” You sing loud and clear, completely lost in the melody Harry is playing, the lines just flowing out of you, like a dam has been taken down and now everything washes over you at once.

When the chorus is about to come up however you run out of ideas, your eyes meet Harry’s and he sees that you’re stuck. His eyebrows knit together, tongue runs along his lips before he starts playing the melody of the chorus and takes over the singing as well.

“So today, baby, remember it’s okay! We’re all floating through space, today, baby, remember you’re okay! We’re all floating through space…”

He plays a little with the lines, repeats them, tries a few times before he stops singing, you are now standing up, watching him end the melody, neither of you saying a word as he room grows silent. A sudden urge drives you to go closer and you sit back down to the floor in front of him, your eyes casting over the now silent instrument on his lap. Looking up your eyes meet his and you feel like the air is kicked out of your lungs.

You’ve heard so much about moments when you feel yourself pulling towards someone, when it’s like a magnetic field but you never actually experienced it until now. Staring back at Harry you feel that pull everyone has talked about and you finally understand what they were trying to say. It’s like there’s a string coming from your chest that’s connected to him and he is tugging it without even doing anything.

Reaching forward he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers dancing down the side of your face as you catch his eyes wander down to your lips. Sucking on your breath you feel the moment, you know what he is thinking about because you think about the exact same thing. Kissing him. You are desperate to find out what his lips feel against yours, what he tastes like, what it’s like to have him so close to you.

“You want to kiss me,” you whisper and it’s not a question, more like an observation.

“I do,” he admits with a soft smile, but doesn’t move closer. “Can I?”

“I don’t think it’s an appropriate thing to do in our situation,” you breathe out, though you don’t agree with the statement fully.

“You think too much,” he chuckles softly, leaning closer just a tad bit, but there are still a few inches between the two of you. “Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes,” you admit.

“Then we should just do what we want to,” he suggests with a small smirk and he looks ridiculously handsome with his dimples and shining green eyes that are glued to you.

“And then what? We’ll just go on like it never happened or there’s going to be more happening? How are we supposed to—“

You don’t get to finish, because Harry closes the distance between you and him and presses his lips against yours, swallowing the rest of your stammering speech. Whatever doubts and hesitation you felt just a moment ago, it all vanishes into nothing as you melt into his kiss, his lips caressing yours gently, softly capturing them, savoring and tasting you with caution, giving you the chance to pull back anytime, but nothing in your body can make you stop kissing him in this moment.

His palms cup your jaw as you push yourself up, slowly making your way to straddle his lap after he has blindly put the guitar to the side, hands coming to rest on his shoulder for leverage. His other hand grips your waist, pulling you close until your chest is pressed up against his, lips never disconnecting in the kiss.

Kissing him feels like second nature, like it’s not even the first but the hundredth time, but on the other hand, every touch and tiny sparkle is so new and unusual, you’ve never felt like this before.

Harry slowly pulls back, pecking your lips a few more times before he stops, nuzzling his nose against you in an adorable and innocent way that brings a smile to your lips.

“Doesn’t it feel good to just do whatever you feel like doing?” he asks with a soft smile, making you laugh.

“Kind of.”

“Nothing has to change. Or something can, it’s up to you.”

“You are so upsettingly cool and respectful,” you blurt out chuckling and it makes him laugh, his head falling back against the back of the couch.

“I’m sorry, I guess?” he smirks with a shrug.

“See? Respectful!” you grin, your hands moving up to cup his face. The pad of your thumbs gently tap against his dimples that are showing thanks to the wide smile on his lips right now. You can’t stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him again, even though your rational side is trying to make you stop. You just can’t, his lips are screaming to be kissed and who are you to deny that?

You’ve been running errands all day. Following an early meeting you ran to your favorite vintage store to get another armchair for your living room. Then you went grocery shopping because your fridge has been ridiculously empty the past two days and later you had a quick fitting for a few outfits you are supposed to wear in the near future. You’ve ran into a few fans too, having small chit-chats with them, taking photos, so it’s been a busy day.

It’s been a week since you and Harry have kissed and despite your fears, it hasn’t been awkward at all. He didn’t bring it up, but you don’t feel like he is pretending it never happened, which is kind of a great balance. He is giving you just enough time and space to figure out what it really meant to you, because quite frankly, you have no idea.

Obviously, you find him attractive. You’d have to be completely blind to say that he is not handsome and just simply good to look at. You’re attracted to him and not just to his looks, but to his whole persona.

It’s just you’re not sure it’s a smart idea to start anything with the man you’re working with and though you know Harry is nothing like Jordan, part of you is still scared the whole thing will happen all over again if you get involved with another man from the industry.

Workwise, everything is going well. You’ve successfully finished the song you started that ominous evening and have started recording it in Harry’s home studio, working some more on the melody, bringing a lot more into it than just a single guitar. What more, you’ve been coming up with new ideas for other songs, lyrics popping up in either your or Harry’s head and you just keep sharing them with each other, saving them for later once the song for the Grammy’s is done.

Heading back to your place you get a call from Harry, his smiley face appearing on the screen of your face as you accept the call and his accent fills the car through the speakers that are connected to your phone through Bluetooth.

“Hey, hope I’m not calling in the middle of a meeting,” he greets you and you can tell he is smiling.

“No, I’m just on my way home. What’s up?”

“I’m meeting with Sarah and Mitch for dinner tonight, thought you’d like to join us.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your friends, I feel like you’ve been spending all your time with me.”

“But I like spending time with you,” he chuckles softly, a blush making its way to your cheeks at his words.

“Are you sure you want me there? What about Sarah and Mitch? I crashed your last meeting with them as well.”

“You didn’t crash anything, Y/N. And I’m positive I want you there, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. And just so you know, Sarah asked if you’d be joining us, so I assume they wouldn’t mind it either.”

“Oh, well, okay then. Send me the time and place.”

“Wonderful!” he beams, his enthusiasm making your chest warm.

By the time you arrive home he has already texted you the details and you have just one hour to spare before you have to head out. You opt for a quick shower and an outfit change, switching up your ripped mom jeans and simple t-shirt to one of your favorite jumpsuits. It’s a little baggy, but the waist is cinched in with an inbuilt corset, giving the whole fit a very interesting twist.

Arriving at the restaurant Harry has texted you the address of, the waiter escorts you to the terrace at the back that’s a lot more secluded and you feel yourself relaxing that you probably won’t get photographed. Harry is the only one who is already at the table, sitting with his eyes fixed on his phone, but he immediately puts it aside when he sees you approaching, a wide smile stretching across his face.

“Hey! You look amazing!” he greets you pulling you into a quick hug.

“Thank you,” you smile shyly. He is wearing a pair of brown slacks, a simple white shirt tucked into it, a knitted cardigan thrown on, a typical Harry outfit. “And thanks for the invite,” you add as you take the seat next to him, assuming Sarah and Mitch would like to sit next to each other.

“Don’t even mention it. We’re friends, it’s really nothing. I’m glad you could make it.”

The way he called you friends is giving you mixed feelings. Part of you is happily jumping up and down at the fact that he considers you as a friend, given how you don’t have many of those. It’s been hard opening up to anyone since you’ve made a name for yourself, you’ve ran into occasions a lot when people wanted more than just your friendship from you and it made you rather closed off when it comes to making friends.

On the other hand, you can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Is that all you are? Just friends? More importantly, is that all you want to be, or more?

Sarah and Mitch arrive soon after, joining you at the table and the waiter takes the orders before leaving the four of you alone. It seems like they genuinely like it that you’ve joined, so you can enjoy the evening a little more relieved.

Sipping on some amazing wine, you eat and talk and you feel like you’ve known these people your whole life. You especially like Sarah, she is so open-minded and funny and you think they make a great couple with Mitch who is obviously more closed off, but it’s obvious how much he worships his girlfriend.

Sometime in the evening, when you’ve already had two glasses of Chardonnay and you’re feeling a lot more relaxed and comfortable, you move closer to Harry without even noticing, leaning against him gently and his hand rests on your knee, giving it a soft squeeze under the table, making you want to move even closer to him to feel more of his touch, to get more of him.

Neither Sarah, nor Mitch questions the two of you being a little cozier and you’re thankful for the safe and stressfree environment they are providing, not making you overthink what you do, just letting you enjoy the moment.

At the end of the evening, you can’t shake the thought that you don’t want to say goodbye to Harry just yet. He pays for everyone’s dinner, leaving a generous tip for the waiter and you stay back at the table while Sarah runs out to the restroom and Mitch takes a quick call from his father, leaving you alone with Harry. His hand is still resting on your leg, a little farther up, but still in a very safe zone in the middle of your thigh.

Turning to face him your eyes meet his, his green irises glistening in the soft lighting and he looks so beautiful, you just want to kiss him again.

“Do you have plans after this?” you find yourself asking.

“Not that I know of.”

“Do you want to come over to my place?”

“That sounds like a nice plan,” he smiles at you warmly and you just know that if you weren’t out in the public, he would have leant in for a kiss and you wouldn’t have stopped him.

When Sarah and Mitch return all four of you head out and they don’t question when you follow Harry to his car. They say goodbye and Sarah makes you promise to join them some other time too and you happily say yes to the invitation.

Not much is being said on the way back to your place, he plays some music quietly as you navigate him through the streets.  

“Welcome to mi casa,” you smile as you key the two of you into your apartment you’ve been living in for the past few years.

It’s nothing luxurious, just a tad bit bigger than what one person would need as a home. You would have been fine living in your previous home you lived in before you’ve gained fame, but you needed a much bigger closet so you were forced to move. It’s a two bedroom apartment with one big bathroom, an open concept kitchen and a spacious living room. And of course, a closet as big as your bedroom. It’s the perfect size and you haven’t even thought about buying a bigger place just because you can, it would be a waste of money and space. The interior is very much vintage with all your mismatched furniture and colorful walls, but you think it’s quite cozy and just the ideal space for you.

“Would you like something to drink?” you ask, walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water.

“Some water would be great, thank you.”

Filling up two glasses you hand him one as you lean against the counter, silently eyeing each other. It should be clear to him that you had intentions with asking him to come over, especially after being your cozy with each other during dinner, but you’re a little lost in what you should or even want to do. You just know you want him close.

He drinks up his water, his eyes meeting your gaze as a small smirk tugs on his cherry lips.

“You want to kiss me,” he states, using the exact same words you used the night when you kissed for the first time.

“I do,” you nod, feeling a little breathless.

“Then do it,” he simply answers, making you smile.

“Cool and respectful, as always,” you grin at him as he moves closer, stopping just a few inches away from you, your feet almost touching. Reaching up his fingers gently caress the side of your face and you feel yourself already melting under his touch.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, a shiver running down your spine at his words. You close your eyes for a moment, giving yourself the chance to pull out of it, but you realize you don’t want that, not even the tiniest bit. Opening your eyes they meet with his gaze before you move closer, closing the distance between you and him, lips meeting in a warm and chaste kiss.

Though it grows a little hungrier, you can tell he is still holding back a little, giving you the chance to stop whenever you want to, but you don’t intend to. Pushing yourself closer to him, your arms curl around his neck as his hands grip your waist, your tongue meeting his as you deepen the kiss and melt into his embrace.

Pulling back you grab his hand and head to the bedroom, going back to kissing him the moment you reach it. You easily slide his cardigan off his broad shoulders, pulling his t-shirt out of his pants before taking it completely off, throwing it somewhere to the side. You smirk against his lips, hands wandering down his naked chest and you can’t push down a moan as you feel the warmth of his chest muscles under your touch.

When you feel him try to blindly figure out how to get you out of your jumpsuit with not much luck and this clears your head for a moment to realize what is about to happen. Pulling back your gaze meets his and he stares back at you with caution, ready to stop whenever you tell him to, but that’s not what made you pull back.

“Harry, I…” “We don’t have to do anything,” he softly tells you, his fingers dancing down the side of your face until they reach your chin and he pulls you in for a delicate and slow kiss.

“I want to,” you whisper. “It’s just that… I want you to know that I’ve never… I’ve never been with a man before.”

Searching in his eyes you look for any sign of what’s going on in his head wishing you could just simply read his thoughts.

“You’ve never been with a man?” he asks, seemingly not as surprised as you expected him to be. You nod, licking your lips, waiting for any kind of reaction, a part of you expecting to be upset, though you know he has no right to be mad at you for any of it. “Do you want me to be the first man?” he then asks, with a loving and warm smile as his hand on your hip pulls you against him playfully.

“Yes.”

“Then help me get you out of this jumpsuit, because I can’t figure it out for my life,” he chuckles making you laugh too.

You show him where the corset opens and then get you out of it with joined forces, finally leaving you standing in just your underwear. Harry’s gaze runs down your body, a look of hunger and passion shining through his green irises as he pulls you close again, kissing you with a lot more vigor this time.

Soon enough, his slacks slip to the floor and you climb to your bed, Harry following closely, climbing on top of you before rejoining your lips. Your knees open up wide for him, allowing him to sink his hips between your thighs, his crotch meeting your heated center, a moan slipping out your lips when you feel his erection rubbing against you through the material of your underwear. He kisses his way down your jawline and neck, gently sucking on the soft skin, peppering kisses along your collarbones before he reaches your chest. He easily unclasps your bra and slips the straps down your arms before getting rid of the barrier that’s been keeping him away from your naked chest.

“Fuck, Y/N, you are so damn beautiful,” he breathes out shakily, before his lips wrap around your right nipple, his hand cupping your other breast. You keep whining and whimpering as you feel his tongue swirl around your nipple before his mouth moves over to the other breast, giving it just the same amount of attention.

He kisses down your stomach, glancing up at you as he hooks his fingers into the elastic of your panties silently asking for your permission to go further, still so respectfully looking out for you. As an answer, you lift your hips up so he can easily slide the material down your legs and throw it to the side.

“Oh fuck!” you moan when his tongue and lips press against your bud, playing with it oh so perfectly, making you shudder. If you didn’t think Harry was perfect, his tongue work is now surely making a statement on that.

With every lick, kiss and suck he pushes you closer to your release that’s nearing in a fast pace like never before. Reaching down you lace your fingers through his chocolate curls, tugging on the lightly, making him moan against your core. You’re not sure how long you’ll last, but you want to cum with him inside you, so you pull him up, lips meeting again as you still taste your own juice on him. It’s heavenly.

Without breaking the kiss you reach down and into his underwear, palming his fully hard cock, earning a satisfied growl when you wrap your hand around him. The feeling is quite unknown, you’ve only once had to face a penis before, it happened back in high school when you were still figuring out what sexuality meant to you. Gave a wobbly and quite short handjob to a guy from the grade above you, never even talked to him again. The experience left a major effect on you, never even got close to being intimate with a man, but being with Harry now is putting everything into a whole new light.

“Do you have a condom?” he mumbles against your lips, clearly just as excited to carry on as you are.

“Yeah,” you nod and let go of him, rolling to the edge of the bed so you can dig into the drawer of your nightstand, successfully finding the little silver packet. Tearing it open you hand it over to Harry and get back to your previous position as you watch him kneeling up, rolling the condom on carefully. Your lips part when your eyes fall on his cock, seeing now how big he really is. Harry catches your eyes and leaning down he kisses you softly.

“Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop, okay?” he kindly tells you, but you smile at him coyly.

“You might be the first man I’m with, but your dick won’t be the first thing to be inside me,” you answer with a smug smirk and it brings an amused look to his face.

“You are so fucking hot,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against yours in a hard kiss as he settles himself back between your legs.

Though you really tried to sound confident the other moment, you still feel a little nervous about it and Harry senses it right away. Holding himself up on one arm he cups your face in his other, kissing you slowly, taking his time with his lips, as if he is trying to make you forget about everything else but his lips.

“Are you still sure about this?” he softly asks, looking for any sign of hesitation in your eyes, but there’s none.

“Yeah, I want this. I want you,” you nod and reaching down between your bodies, you take him in your hands again, positioning him to your center.

Harry captures your lips in another passionate kiss as he pushes into you slowly, filling you up inch by inch. You gasp at the sensation, feeling a little tight around him, but not in an uncomfortable way.

“You alright?” he asks once he is almost fully in.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you breathe out with a small nod. He pecks your lips and slowly pushes all the way in before he starts to move out and then slide in again, picking up a not too fast but still firm pace with his movements.

You gradually get used to the feeling of him sliding in and out of you, it’s surely a whole different experience than using a dildo or any kind of toy you are used to. The thought that it belongs to him is bringing you a sense of intimacy you haven’t felt in a long time.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you dig your fingers into his hot skin that’s coated with a thin layer of sweat as he keeps moving, slowly picking up his pace as you both get closer to the endgame.

“Harry, faster, please!” you plead, legs coming to wrap around his waist so he can thrust in deeper, making you go completely nuts from the way your orgasm is already forming in the pit of your tummy.

He obeys without a second thought, slamming into you faster and harder, making you continuously moan his name, the room is filled with moans and panting, the slapping noise of his hips meeting yours.

Harry buries his face into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin, definitely leaving a mark, but you couldn’t care less. You just grab a handful of his hair, shutting your eyes closed as you feel yourself nearing the end.

“Harry, I’m gonna cum,” you pant, barely hanging on.

Instead of stretching it out and trying to play with you, Harry clearly wants you to combust. Reaching down between your bodies his index and middle fingers find your clit and he starts circling on it, adding that little extra you needed to fall over the edge.

Moaning and whimpering under his massive body, your orgasm washes over you in waves, bringing you such an intense satisfaction you’ve never felt before. He keeps up his thrusting and just a few moments later his movements fall out of his rhythm and mumbling your name over and over again, he gasps as he rides his high while you’re still trying to catch your breath following your own.

With a heaving chest Harry rolls off of you, gets rid of the condom and throws it to the small bin you keep next to your night stand and then lies flat beside you as you both just silently stare up at the ceiling, very much in the best kind of after sex haze.

“How are you feeling?” he then asks, rolling to his side, his hand coming to rest on your bare stomach. Turning your head to the side you crack a smile at him.

“I feel like I’ve just been properly fucked,” you bluntly answer, making him laugh wholeheartedly. Rolling to your side his arm falls to your waist as you scoot closer, your face only a few inches from his. He is so pretty up close, his features never fail to amuse you, hard to believe he is a real human, lying right next to you.

He closes his eyes a little, letting his head sink into the pillow as his fingers delicately dance up and down your side and back. You feel like you owe him to say something, dropping a major detail about yourself in a heated moment.

“I had two girlfriends,” you speak up, his eyes fluttering open to your words. “The first one was when I was eighteen, we dated for almost a year, then I briefly dated a guy, but it was barely just a month. And I had my second girlfriend when I was twenty. We were together for two years.”

“Are you still friends with them?”

“I still talk to the second one. Her name is Mila. We broke up because she moved to Spain for a job for a year and we didn’t want to do long-distance. Then we just… grew apart, but we still talk sometimes. She lives in Atlanta now, she has a girlfriend and she told me that she is planning to propose soon.”

A soft smile tugs on your lips as you talk about her. She was an important person in your life in a time that was truly challenging. Mila supported your dreams, she went to a lot of your concerts and she was the first one you called when you got your record deal even though you weren’t together anymore. She has seen you go from performing in dodgy bars to rocking the stage of arenas.

“Congrats to her,” Harry smiles through tired eyes. Reaching up he tucks your hair behind your ear before leaning closer he envelopes your lips in a soft kiss.

“We really shouldn’t have done this,” you hum, though you can’t wipe the satisfied smile off your lips.

“Why not?”

“Because we work together.”

“So what? We aren’t allowed to like each other?” he smirks cockily.

“You like me?”

“Thought I made that pretty clear,” he chuckles rubbing his eyes. “But yeah, I do like you, Y/N. A lot.”

“I… like you too,” you admit shyly. Leaning in he kisses you again before pulling you to his chest as he lies on his back.

“Can I stay the night or you want to throw me out?” he hums closing his eyes. Chuckling your snuggle to him, making yourself comfortable, enjoying the warmth of his body after so spending so many nights alone in this bed.

“You can stay, but you have to behave.”

“Oh I will behave my best, don’t worry.” A chuckle rumbles through his chest as you both fall silent and soon enough, drift off to sleep.

You wake up tangled in the sheets, but no one else is lying in bed with you. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes you look around and though there’s no sign of Harry in the room you spot his clothes on the floor. That’s when you hear the pots and pans clinking somewhere outside and you smile to yourself. You pull a t-shirt on with a pair of clean panties before heading out, finding Harry in your kitchen, wearing your pink fluffy robe and nothing else as he is making what seems to be pancakes.

“I don’t remember hiring a chef,” you joke walking closer, sliding a hand down his back as you lean against the counter next to the stove.

“Good morning,” he smiles. “I really wanted for you to wake up but I was afraid my growling stomach might wake you up,” he chuckles as he flips the pancakes in the pan with the spatula.

“Found everything you needed?” you ask, walking over the fridge to grab the orange juice.

“Yeah, you have a neatly organized kitchen,” he hums. “Sorry for snooping around though.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pouring the juice to two glasses you hand one to him which he thanks softly before placing the golden pancakes to the plate on the counter and pours another bunch into the pan.

Sipping on your juice you watch him move around, making breakfast in your robe and you can’t help but smile at the sight of this fine man in your kitchen. Harry catches you eyeing him and he cocks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks, his voice still a little groggy and husky.

“I just… really want to kiss you,” you shrug placing the glass to the counter.

“I think we are over this whole asking for permission thing,” he smirks, stepping closer he leans down and kisses you gently, tasting like orange juice and something sweet, he has probably ate one of the pancakes. His hand that’s not holding the spatula finds your waist, the t-shirt bunches up on your side as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss before you hear sizzling coming from the stove.

“Whoops, not trying to burn the place down,” he chuckles as he turns to the pan and flips the pancakes. You wrap your arms around his waist and kiss his jawline before stepping away from him to set the table for breakfast.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” he asks over breakfast.

“I have a meeting with my label on Saturday, but nothing else.”

“I’m having a few friends over Saturday evening, kind of a late Grammy nomination celebration. Want to come over?”

“Yeah, that… sounds good,” you nod smiling.

“I was thinking that maybe you could spend the night and then we can finish recording on Sunday.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

Harry takes a quick shower after breakfast before heading out, promising to call you later and though it still feels a little odd that he says goodbye with a kiss, you very much like this new setup between the two of you.

Friday evening Taylor is over at your place, she loves helping you sort out promo stuff you get sent all the time, especially because you let her take whatever you don’t want, half her closet was meant to be worn by you.

Sitting on the floor with boxes surrounding the both of you, you’re digging through them with a bottle of wine, some 90’s music playing in the background, it’s a nice and relaxing evening.

Your phone lights up with a text on the coffee table and you already know it’s from Harry. You haven’t stopped texting since he left from your place just a few days ago.

Harry: Do you think it’s a look for the Grammy’s?

He attached a photo of himself in all denim, looking very much like 2001 Justin Timberlake at the AMA.

Y/N: Should I match and pull a Britney?

Harry: Is that even a question?!

“Okay, who’s the girl?” Taylor asks, making you tear your eyes away from the phone’s screen.

“Huh?”

“Last time I saw you smiling like this at your phone you were talking to that girl you met at that award show. So who is it this time?”

“It’s… not a girl,” you admit, placing your phone back to the coffee table.

“Oh, did a guy finally manage to sweep you off your feet?” Taylor gives you an amused look, genuinely surprised to hear that this time it’s a guy that has you wrapped around his finger. “What is his name?”

“Harry,” you shortly answer and see her eyes widen.

“Wait, is it… Harry as in Harry Styles?”

“Yeah,” you admit with a soft chuckle.

“Oh my God, I knew I could feel some sexual tension between you two at Jeff’s office!”

“There wasn’t any, what are you talking about?”

“You didn’t see it because you were too busy trying to blow off the duet, but it was radiating from him.” She gives you a look, putting the sweater she’s been examining to the side. “So, how are things? Are you guys an item, or…?”

“We didn’t label anything, he just said he likes me and I like him too. And he… spent the night the other day.”

“Wait, what? Spent the night as in—“

“Yes, we had sex,” you confirm blushing.

“That’s like huge! The first man you’ve been with!”

“I know,” you chuckle.

“How was it?”

“Fucking amazing,” you truthfully admit with a sigh. “I didn’t think it could be this good with a guy. Maybe it’s just because it was with him.”

“He surely looks like a guy that takes good care of his girl. So what’s gonna happen? Are you guys together?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to care about names and labels, he just likes to do whatever he wants and if I’m being honest it’s kind of refreshing. We are just… enjoying whatever we have.”

“That sounds very liberal,” Taylor chuckles. “But I’m happy for you. You’ve been alone for way too long, I think he might do good to you.”

“I really hope,” you nod with a sigh.

“How is the song writing going?”

“We’re finishing up recording on Sunday. I’ll send it to you when it’s done and we can start all the paperwork and everything.”

“Amazing, you are doing great, Y/N, I’m proud of you,” she smiles and climbing over she wraps you in a tight hug.

“Thanks, Tay,” you smile at her. “Alright, now do you want these lace socks or should I burn them?” you ask holding up a whole pack of them, making her laugh.

Harry said it’s just a chill get together, nothing fancy so you decide to wear a khaki maxi skirt with a shirt tucked into it that was a gift from a fan, your first album’s name embroidered to the front. It’s one of your favorite pieces and you like wearing things your fans make you, gives the whole fit a plus.

Arriving to Harry’s place you spot that there are a few cars already parking on the driveway. You leave your overnight bag in the trunk, grab the bottle of wine you’ve brought and head inside. Unlike every time you’ve been here, the silence is now switched up with soft music and chatters, quite a few people lingering around the house already.

Just as you walk farther inside, Harry appears on the stairs and his face lights up at the sight of you.

“Hey! Did you just arrive?” He jogs down the rest of the stairs and walking up to you he pulls you close for a quick kiss without hesitation.

“Yeah. I know you said not to bring anything, but I hate coming to parties empty handed,” you chuckle softly, holding the wine bottle up.

“Thanks. Have you eaten? Jeff is grilling outside, but help yourself with anything.”

“I’ll be fine, thanks.”

“Sarah and Mitch are already here, but come on, let me introduce you to a few people.”

Harry takes your hand, lacing your fingers together with his. He drops the wine off in the kitchen before joining all the other guests. It’s really not that many people, just about thirty of his close circle. Musicians, people he has worked with and stayed close with, people he has known for long. Everyone seems welcoming and open, many already know who you are and it’s always a good conversation start, so there are not many awkward silences, especially because Harry is always near you, making sure you feel comfortable around his friends and it means a lot to you.

“Hey, everything alright?” Harry asks, when he finds you in the kitchen, refilling your glass. He walks up to you, placing a hand to your waist as he kisses into your hair.

“Yeah, your friends are nice,” you smile at him.

“I know, that’s why they are my friends,” he smirks, so full of himself. “Want to hear something interesting?”

“Always.”

“I was talking to Adam and our song came up and then out of nowhere I referred to you as my girlfriend.”

Seemingly he is testing the waters, trying to see how you react to the title, even a little afraid of what you might say, but it doesn’t scare you.

“Yeah? That’s interesting indeed.”

“Are you okay with it? I wasn’t really thinking about it, just slipped out.”

“It’s fine,” you smile at him softly.

“You don’t have to call me your boyfriend, call me whatever you want. It’s just a habit of mine, I guess,” he explains, popping some nuts into his mouth from the little jar on the counter.

“Alright,” you nod. Harry stares back at you for a moment before a smile stretches across his face and leaning down he kisses you shortly before taking your hand and walking back to the living room with you.

The last guests leave around midnight. After bringing your bag up to his bedroom you start cleaning up while Harry walks out the last couple leaving. You start loading the washer and put away things you’ve cleaned before.

“Oh, thank you for cleaning, but you don’t have to. I can take care of it later.”

“It’s nothing, I want to make myself useful,” you chuckle softly as you start the washer. Harry comes up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he kisses into your neck.

“I have other ideas for that,” he murmurs, his nose nudging the side of your face.

“Yeah? What kind of ideas?” you teasingly ask, closing your eyes when you feel his hand slide under the waist of your skirt, moving down your abdomen until it reaches your core.

“Fun kinds,” he chuckles lowly. His other hand turns your head so his lips could meet yours, you’re still pressed up against him, melting against his chest with your back just right, like you’re two puzzle pieces.

“Fuck,” you breathe out when his fingers wander into your underwear and they start doing their magic. “Harry!” you whine, reacting intensely to his actions.

“I fucking love hearing my name from your pretty mouth,” he growls, kissing you hard before his lips part from yours and he starts bunching up your skirt.

You don’t protest, in fact, you lean forward, grabbing onto the edge of the counter as he pulls down your panties and you hear the zipper of his pants. Glancing over your shoulders you see him pull out a condom from his pocket and you can’t push down a laughter.

“Did you keep that in your pocket all evening?”

“Wanted to be ready when I finally got you all for myself,” he smirks, pulling his cock out of his boxer briefs, rolling on the condom.

His hands come in contact with your hips and ass cheeks, giving them a light squeeze before you feel him lining himself up with you. His palm slides up your back as he pushes into you, both of you moaning at the fulfilling sensation.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he breathes out as he pushes all the way inside before starting to pull out.

“Go hard, Harry. Please!” you whimper as he starts thrusting into you. Harry lets out a growl and slams into you, making you gasp at the harshness of the movement, but that’s exactly what you wanted.

The kitchen is filled with the noises coming from the washer next to you and the slapping noise of Harry’s hips meeting your ass with every forceful thrust he makes. His ring clad fingers dig into your hips, probably already making them red, but you couldn’t care less. You hold onto the edge of the counter, but then you move one hand to cover his on you, needing to touch him in some kind of way.

Leaning forward Harry kisses your back between your shoulder blades through the thin material of your shirt and you moan his name when he hits the perfect spot inside you.

“Shit, Harry! I’m g-gonna cum!” you gasp, perking your ass up more so he can go as deep as possible.

“Let go for me, baby. Come on!”

“I want to cum with you.”

“Yeah? Then hold on for a little longer, I’m almost there.”

You try your best to keep everything inside you under control, your orgasm is really on the edge and you can only hope he is nearing his end too.

“Harry! Please!”

“Fuck, okay, okay, cum for me! Let me feel you!” he moans and his words bring you the release.

You clench around him, moaning and whimpering and it finally pushes you into his bliss too. His thrusts slow down but they are hard and go deep, helping you ride the last bits of your high.

He pulls out and gets rid of the condom before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you up from your position so he can kiss your lips.

“How about we take a shower while the washer finishes?” he suggests, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Mm, good idea.”

Once the song is fully finished you submit it to your label after an agreement that it should come out through yours, but it wouldn’t be tied to your or Harry’s upcoming album. Everyone seems to love it, Taylor is over the moon when you show her the final version and Jeff is just as happy about it. Having only three more weeks left until the Grammy’s, you send them your request to perform the duet instead of the medley they asked. Their answer comes the next day and they are more than happy to have you premiere your new duet at the show. Everything seems to be on track.

Following a rehearsal for the Grammy performance, you’re staying over at Harry’s, just eating takeout and having a lazy evening after a whole day of working. You’ve put on a new Netflix movie, but every time you look at Harry you feel like his mind is somewhere far away.

“Want to share what’s on your mind?” you ask softly, not wanting to be pushy, you’re just trying to be there for him.

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“About what?” He looks up at you, clearly hesitant whether he should share it with you or not.

“About what you said about your parents.”

“Oh,” is all you can say. Pausing the movie you turn all your attention to him. “What about it?”

“I was just talking to my mom the other day, she is coming here for the Grammy’s and I thought about how you… won’t have your parents there with you.”

“There’s a reason for that.”

“Yeah, but then I thought about how you said you haven’t even let them contact you since then and that maybe they’ve changed their mind about the whole situation. You’ve clearly proved them wrong with building yourself a career, maybe they can now see that what they did was wrong.”

You remain silent, chewing on his words. You’ve been great at not thinking about your parents these past years, it feels weird to have a conversation about them out of nowhere. Harry takes your silence as a warning sign, though that’s not the case.

“You know what? I’m sorry for bringing it up. It’s not really my business, I shouldn’t have brought it up, sorry,” he shakes his head.

“What… would you do if you were in my place?”

Harry looks at you, surprised you are willing to continue the conversation. His hand finds your thigh and he gives it a gentle squeeze.

“I think it might worth a shot to just… contact them. See if they want to maybe get in touch again.”

“And what if they don’t?”

“Then… you know you made the right decision leaving. I know it’s scary, but I think you should take a chance.”

“I’ll… think about it,” you nod shortly.

“Take your time, do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you get comfortable in his embrace before starting the movie again.

Two weeks before the show you are headed to a fitting with Harry, your matching sets are nearly done, but they needed you to try them on and make sure they fit just perfectly. True to your and Harry’s extravagant fashion, this performance won’t lack any over the top fits either. It was clear from the beginning that you would be matching, but you made it clear that you want to bring it to the level where you’d be wearing the exact same outfit, so now there are two sets of suits in the making, the pattern of the whole two piece is recalling a kind of space vibe, blues, purples and black meeting in the colors with hundreds of embroidered stars and planets littering the fabric with additional crystal stars to make it even more extra. It’s truly one of a kind, especially paired with the sheer, tulle shirt you both will be wearing underneath.

“We look fucking great, babe,” Harry smirks as the two of you stand next to each other, examining yourself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror on the small podium.

“We really do,” you smirk, satisfied with how the performance is coming together. It’s gonna be the perfect way to celebrate both your first Grammy nominations, a huge milestone in your and Harry’s career as well.

Grabbing his phone he quickly takes a picture in the mirror of the two of you, pulling you to his side as you smile into the camera through the mirror. Then you leave him alone on the podium as they are pinning his pants to make it the perfect size. Stepping to your bag you fish your phone out and reading just the first few words of Taylor’s last message she sent about ten minutes ago, you feel all blood rushing out of your face. Tapping on the notification you start reading.

Taylor: Please don’t lose your head, but we are dealing with this.

She attached several articles and you start digging through them.

“Is Harry Styles dating his new duet partner?”

“Harry Styles cozied up with Y/N Y/L/N at dinner with friends.”

“Can we expect some hot make out sessions at the Grammy’s from Harry and his new beau?”

And then there’s the absolute worst.

“Is Y/N Y/L/N going to take Harry Styles to court too?”

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble under your breath, vigorously typing back to Taylor to take them down. Two pictures have been leaked from the time you had dinner with Sarah and Mitch, it’s so odd because it’s been weeks since then, where were these pictures all along? Not that it matters, all you want is for them to be gone.

Against your better judgment, you go online and check your social media even though you know you shouldn’t snoop around now that it’s out there. No surprise, you and Harry are trending, but the reactions are very much mixed.

The impact of your case with Jordan is still major. It doesn’t matter that you won, people are still questioning whether he said the truth or not and now they are afraid you might drag Harry down just like you did with Jordan. That you are just trying to use his fame to get more attention and then ruin his career, making a victim out of yourself again, because apparently that’s what you’ve been doing.

You’re not only being dragged, but all of a sudden, nothing is about the music and the art you are making, people just want to know if you’re fucking Harry Styles or not. A lot of the times you’re not even named, only referred to Harry’s new lover or what’s worse, his hookup. You’ve lost all the credit you worked so hard for and for what? Because you dared to have dinner with a man?

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Harry asks walking up to you. Your eyes snap up at him and he immediately sees the shock and anger in them, setting panic in him as well. “What is it?”

“The fucking… pictures,” you hiss handing him your phone so he can see the articles for himself. He scrolls through them with furrowed eyebrows, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip before handing the phone back once he has gotten to the end of it.

“Let’s finish this up and head home, okay? We’ll figure it all out.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you nod, trying your best to keep your anger at bay while the designers finish up on the outfits.

An hour later you walk into your place, talking on the phone with Taylor, discussing the situation though there’s not much you can do at this point. It’s all out, the pictures can’t be taken down. She suggests to just keep quiet for now, she’ll call Jeff to see what could be done as damage control.

Throwing your phone to the bed you feel your whole body shaking from the anger, it’s agonizing to know there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll figure it out,” Harry speaks up, trying his best to calm you down, but it’s not really working this time.

“Stop saying it, you don’t know that for sure. I can’t believe this bullshit is happening all over again,” you breathe out shaking your head.

“Again?”

“Yes! I’m being fucking dragged for something I shouldn’t be.”

“People will always have controversial opinion on everything, you can’t get them all to like you.”

“It’s not about liking, Harry!” you snap. “I couldn’t give a damn about people liking me, but they discredit my work. Have you read those articles? I’m seen with a man and suddenly, I’m not even seen as an artist anymore. I’m not even my own person in some of them, just a girl who is linked to you. How is that fair?” “It’s not, but stressing yourself about it until you’re sick is not gonna help anything,” he retorts in a firm voice.

“So I should just sit around and so nothing while watching all my work go to shit?”

“Nothing is going to shit! This is how it goes, there’s always something people talk about but they will forget about it in a week. That doesn’t take anything away from what you’ve proved through your career.”

“Now that’s a lie. Because if they did forget about things in a week, they wouldn’t be bringing up the whole Jordan thing now. I dared to stand up for myself against a man and look where it took me to! I’m the drama queen, the lying bitch who likes to ruin men for apparently no reason and they see me as a threat when it comes to you too. People are talking about how I’ll take you to court as well, they think I’m just using you even though they know nothing about me! And the worst part is that it wouldn’t be like this if I weren’t a woman. Whatever happens, however we react to the situation, it will never have the same effect on your career than it will have on mine.”

“So what, you’ll just live your life without ever doing anything that’s gonna upset people? There will always be someone who’ll judge whatever you do, you can’t do anything about that and if you let them get to you now, they’ll know they can mess with you easily.”

“So I’m just supposed to ignore everything? And not do a single thing about it? It’s easy for you, you’ll walk away from this without a scratch on your name, because you are a white man who can do no wrong in the eyes of the world.”

“Okay, now you are being mean for no reason.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” you retort. “And you know what else is part of the truth? That I’m not even having it the worse. There are women who are even more targeted because of their religion, their skin color, their nationality or sexuality and people don’t even realize how hard it is for any of us. I’m sick of the injustice we have to live with just because of our gender!”

“I do acknowledge the problem on hand, I’m aware of it and I’m all for doing against it, but we are not gonna solve it instantly, it’s a long process. Sometimes we just have to pull back a little, be smart about things.”

“They will never stop about this,” you shake your head, stubbornly clinging onto your opinion. “I won’t be seen as a serious artist anymore, just some girl who was linked to you. It’s fucking done, over.”

“Y/N, what are you trying to say?” Harry asks with caution.

“Exactly what you are thinking about,” you reply with a bitter laugh. “I can’t be a respected artist if I’m with you.”

“That’s not true. It will die down, they will see that you are more than just who you’re dating and everything will be fine.”

“What’s not fair is that I have to work for it to be fine while you are still the same artist you were before it all blew up. Don’t you think it’s unfair?” you call him out and part of you knows you’re being mean and unnecessarily rude to him, but you just can’t control it any longer. You need to let it out and unfortunately, he is the one who is here to take the blame.

“It is, but what are you expecting me to do about it? Release a statement asking people to only talk about my dating life to make it equal? What can be done is that we try to fight this together, show them that you’re more than just a woman who is linked to a man in any kind of way.”

“Yeah, like realization is just gonna hit them,” you snap. “I’m at a turning point in my career, Harry. Whether I win a Grammy or not, this time is going to have an impact on my future. If I’m seen as just a girl linked to you, I’ll never make it. I’ll be forgotten and dragged again and I can kiss my career goodbye.”

You know you were way too harsh, but it’s what you think to be the truth. You didn’t fight your way to this point in life just to be seen as a man’s girlfriend rather than the artist you truly are. And right now, you can’t see yourself get out of this situation without letting go of Harry.

“Y/N, please don’t let this ruin what we have. We can get through this, you can’t let them control your life this much. Who are they to tell you what to do? That’s not the Y/N I know, come on!”

He tries to step closer, reaching out for you, but you take a step back, wanting to keep the distance between the two of you.

“I would prefer to be alone now,” you sternly say, folding your arms on your chest, closing yourself off from him as you don’t even look at him, because if you did, you know you would break.

“Y/N, please don’t do this, we—“

“Alone!” you snap, cutting him off.

He stares at you, hoping you might change your mind, but you’re quite set on this. He knows you well enough to know you won’t budge anytime soon. He lets out a shaky breath and slowly turning around, he heads towards the door as you’re already fighting your tears back. He stops right before he is about to walk out.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N,” he quietly says before walking out, the door shutting closed behind him.

The sobs start immediately and you fall to the ground, tears soaking your cheeks, already missing him more than anything in your life. You really thought it would be different this time, that things might get better, but you were naïve.

The next two days go by in a blur. The whole fucking internet is filled with those damn pictures of you and Harry, nothing has been about any of your Grammy nominations or even about your music, you’ve officially became the woman Harry Styles is dating.

Harry was titled as a Grammy nominee in every goddamn writing that surfaced, he was completely credited for his work while you could be happy if your name was written correctly. With every new article, your faith in having the career you worked so hard for lessened until you felt hopeless. You’ve officially became a dumb celebrity, just a woman who was known to be dating a man in the industry.

On the evening of the second day you have enough. You just read yet another degrading piece of you that was clearly written by a man, they once again talked about your case with Jordan, joking about history repeating itself and you swear you could scream and throw a tantrum like a baby at how useless and helpless you feel.

You put your laptop to the side and reach for your phone, dialing Taylor’s number.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” she asks right away, knowing well how hard these past days have been. She came over the evening you sent Harry away and tried to comfort you, but nothing could help you that night.

“Hey, I want to ask you to do something and not try to talk me out of it.”

“Oh God…” she sighs, already knowing you’re about to do something stupid according to her.

“I don’t want to perform at the Grammy’s.”

“What? With all due respect, are you fucking stupid?”

“I’m not stupid. But I don’t want to do it.”

“Well, this has got to be the most ridiculous move you’ve ever tried to pull. Why do you want to throw such a huge thing away?”

“I can’t… sing that song with Harry. If I stand on the stage and sing with him… I just can’t do it, Tay.”

“Of course you can! Suck it up! I know you miss him and it fucking sucks what’s happening, but you have to do it!” she tries to convince you, but you’ve already made your mind up.

“No. I’m not doing it. Please let them know that it’s going to be just Harry performing.”

And with that, you end the call.

Taylor knows better than to try to fight you, she doesn’t call back though you know she wants to murder you right now probably, but she’ll come around, she always does. You make yourself a tea hoping to relax your nerves with it though you know nothing can help you now. You wish you had someone to rely on, someone you could talk to right now, but usually Taylor is that person to you and lately Harry has been your support, but you can’t call either of them. The rest of the people you consider friends… they are just not that close to you. You’re left alone, again.

As your gaze wanders over to your phone, a thought pops up in your mind that makes your hands sweat. You think back to the conversation you had with Harry about your parents and you can’t shake the urge off to finally make that call.

“Fuck it,” you breathe out and grab the device, opening up the contacts until you find what you’ve been looking for. Your thumb hovers above the call button for a while before you finally tap on it and start the call. It rings four times before a voice speaks up on the other end.

“Halo?”

“Hi mom,” you reply and hear a gasp from her at your voice.

There’s less than a week left until the Grammy’s. For your own sake, you haven’t been online outside of answering work emails, you just can’t deal with the shit show your life has become on the internet.

You haven’t left your home unless you really needed to go somewhere, did most of your meetings over the phone or videochat and postponed a fitting as well. You’ve officially caved yourself up in your apartment and you are not planning on leaving anytime soon.

Taylor keys herself in, she hasn’t even mentioned that she might drop by, but you’re not surprised. She is probably here to try to bring you out of this pity party you’ve been holding for days. When she sees you lying on the couch in sweats and messy, unwashed hair, she sighs, shaking her head.

“You really need to pull your shit together, Y/N.”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, pulling your fuzzy blanket up to your chin.

“No, you’re not. This is not the bad bitch I know.”

“Bad bitches have bad days too.”

“This is not a bad day, you look like a fucking zombie. This is not what a Grammy nominee should look like days before the big show.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s not like I’m performing or anything,” you shrug, but the look in Taylor’s eyes make yours go wide. “Taylor, I’m not performing, you informed them about it, right?”

“This is why I’m here,” she sighs walking closer, sitting on the other end of the couch. “I never cancelled on your performance.”

“I told you I’m not doing it!” “I know, but I was hoping you might come around. But you seem to be still acting like a stupid bitch, so that didn’t happen. However, I’ve gotten an interesting email today.”

She pulls out her phone and opens the email before handing it over to you. Shooting her an unhappy look you start reading.

-

Hi Taylor!

I got your email address from Jeff, wanted to write to you myself. I’ve officially pulled out of the Grammy performance so it’s going to be only Y/N in it. We are also working on a statement to release over the whole ordeal and my lawyers have been after the bigger gossip sites to get the articles down. I want Y/N to have the Grammy experience she deserves and I know it can’t happen with me in the performance. Tell her that I’m sorry for ruining it for her, she deserves so much more. I’m sorry she was brought into this.

I hope to see you soon, take care!

Harry

-

With parted lips, you look up at Taylor who is smiling softly at you.

“He… pulled out for me.”

“He did. Talked to Jeff on the phone, they have already let them know Harry wouldn’t be performing, they will make it official tomorrow.”

“But he deserves this just as much as I do. He is a nominee too.”

“Well, seems like he values you more than his own success.” Taylor lets out a long sigh and scooting closer she places a hand to your knee. “Look, I know you’re upset about how the media treats you just because you were seen out with Harry, and I know that you’re afraid of getting labeled as just the girl he dates and not get taken seriously as an artist, but you can’t let them stop you from living your life how you want to. There will always be judgment, there will always be men who are worse than trash and want to bring you down, but you are stronger than that. Pushing Harry away and being alone for the rest of your life is not a solution. What you can do to put them to their place is give them a big fuck you, date the hottest man in the industry and continue being the bad bitch that you are, fighting against the way you are being treated. Speak up, show them who they are dealing with, share your truth, like you always do! But you can do all of this with Harry by your side. You deserve to be happy and he makes you happy, don’t make yourself miserable because we live in a world where men are still placed above women. Fight for the change but don’t forget to think about yourself as well in the process.”

You feel the tears sting in your eyes. The weight of this past week is just way too heavy to carry, but Taylor is right and you are realizing that you’ve made it harder for yourself. The sobs come before you could stop yourself and Taylor pulls you into a hug.

“I know, I know. It fucking sucks, but you can’t let them win,” she soothes, running her hands up and down your back. “Show them how big of a bad bitch you are and get the man too.”

“You think Harry still wants to be with me?”

“I think that man would be on his knees for you in a heartbeat if you asked,” she chuckles pulling back. “Statement about the performance will be released tomorrow. That’s how long you have to figure it out,” she tells you with a knowing look before leaving you alone with your thoughts, however you don’t have to think long what you have to do.

You have not been the only one these past days took a toll on. The fight the two of you had left Harry completely drained, angry and helpless. He hated that he was the reason you weren’t credited as the talented artist that you are and he couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make it better. That’s when he came up with the idea of pulling out of the performance.

Now he is ready to spend the remaining days until the award show hidden from the world, not even leaving the house. Everyone close to him knows he is better not to be disturbed now, so he is quite surprised when the security system lets him know that someone has arrived.

As you drive up to his house you spot him immediately, stepping out the front door with a shocked look on his face, probably expecting you to be the last person to be there at the moment. You wipe your sweaty palms against your thighs as you walk up to him, feeling anxious to see him and talk to him, especially after the last conversation you had.

“Hey, I’m sorry for coming here without calling or anything…” you shyly start, stopping in front of you.

“Don’t be silly. Come… Come on in,” he clears his throat inviting you inside.

You’ve walked through this front door so many times in the past almost two months, but this is the first time you feel so odd, standing out, like you have no place in here and it’s all thanks to yourself.

“Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?” Harry walks past you but then turns to face you, talking to you with such warmth and kindness, even after how you acted, putting blame on him for something he has no control over. It completely breaks you and can’t stop your eyes from watering as you look at him. You really hoped you’ve run out of tears in the past days, but it seems like that’s not the case at all.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” you breathe out shakily and you step closer to each other at the same time, he envelopes you in his strong arms and you fist his shirt at his chest. “I know it was none of your fault, I just got so desperate and afraid that it might ruin what I worked so hard for.”

“I know. And you were right about everything. Everything you said was true and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t right to be mad at you just because you have different privileges, it’s not like you can change who you are. So I’m really sorry about that, and also for pushing you away when you were just trying to be there for me. I was so stupid,” you breathe out, wiping the tears sliding your cheeks down away.

“You just panicked, it’s okay. Don’t apologize for wanting to protect yourself.”

Resting your forehead against his shoulder you wait for your sobs to die down before you look back up at him. Reaching up he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, smiling down at you warmly and that smile alone ensures you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, with the right person.

“Taylor showed me the email you sent her,” you bring it up, clearing your throat.

“You deserve it all to yourself so people can see how amazing of an artist you are.”

“I’m not doing it without you,” you shake your head stubbornly. “We wrote the song together and we’re gonna perform it together or else I’m not doing it either.”

“Y/N, you know if we step on that stage together they are gonna twist the whole thing and make it about something else. I want you to have this opportunity for your career without me ruining it with just my presence.”

“Fuck them, if they take it as something it’s not. They are not gonna take the chance away from us to perform our song. If they are such fucking dumbasses that they make it all about what’s between us, that’s their own personal problem. If I need to, I’ll go on a Twitter rant and tell them this myself. I want you on stage with me or else I’m not doing it either.”

Harry breathes out through his nose, pressing his lips together as he stares back at you, probably realizing you are dead serious about pulling out of the performance and he is right. He doesn’t even know you were the first one to cancel on it, you’d do it again without hesitation.

“I guess we are performing then,” he cracks a small smile and throwing your arms around his neck you pull him down, lips smashing against his, the kiss mingling with giggles and smiles.

Harry wraps his arms tight around your waist, pulling you up from the ground as he spins you around, making you squeal as you hold onto him.

“I have to call Jeff to call the Grammy’s not to post the statement,” he hums against your lips and he pecks them a few more times before letting go of you to quickly make a call to his manager.

You move over to the couch in his living room as he talks to Jeff, who is luckily very understanding about the sudden change. Hugging your knees to your chest you watch him pace the floor, exchanging a few more words with the man on the phone before ending the call, his gaze dropping to you again. Sitting beside you, he kisses your temple, dropping an arm around your shoulders as you lean against him, head resting on his chest.

“I called my mom,” you drop the bomb suddenly and you can feel him tense up for a moment, probably shocked by your words.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” Lifting your head your gaze meets his as you carry on. “She was… very shocked to hear my voice.”

“I bet,” he hums. “What did you talk about?”

“I just… asked how they are doing and told her that I’ve been thinking a lot about them. She sounded genuinely touched by it and said I’m always welcomed for dinner or lunch if I’d like to see them.”

“That’s amazing! See, I told you they would love to hear from you!”

“Yeah,” you smile at him softly. “I think I want to go over sometime after the Grammy’s.”

“I’m sure it’s going to go well.”

“Would you please come with me?”

Your question catches him off-guard he seems surprised that you would want him there, but then his expression softens as he leans down and kisses your forehead.

“I would love to, if you want me there.”

“I do,” you nod.

“Then it’s settled,” he smiles warmly as you lay your head back to his chest, his fingers gently dancing up and down your arm and for once in your life you finally feel settled, like everything is going to be fine.

Highlights of the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards: Y/N Y/L/N blows up stage with new hit duet

The killer duo surprised us all with a brand new duet titled Floating Through Space, performed it together on their big night. Wearing matching galaxy themed suits, Y/L/N and Styles have closed off the evening with probably the most success, the latter winning two out of his three nominations, receiving the award for Best Music Video and Best Pop Vocal Album with his latest album, Fine Line, while Y/L/N was titled best new artist, becoming a Grammy winner early in her career.

Tabloids blew up earlier this month when the two singers were photographed cozied up at dinner with friends, speculations started about their possible romance, but Y/L/N has made a clear statement on the question with her red carpet appearance before the award show. Wearing a head to toe black Gucci gown paired with a dramatic cape, the message “I’M AN ARTIST, ASK ME ABOUT MY ART” painted onto it in red, making a bold statement about her opinion on the way the media has been treating the star.

Both singers remained silent on their alleged romance, but proved to be the best of their time with their joined performance with their new emotional duet. Following the song’s debut on stage it was released to the public as a single right away, taking over all charts with its overwhelming success.

Listen to Floating Through Space now on Spotify and Apple Music!

Your knuckles are turning white from the tight grip on the steering wheel as you stare up at the home you grew up in. It looks almost the same, sometime through the years you haven’t been around your parents have painted it a light blue color from the paste yellow, but it’s still… the same.

“Hey.”

Turning to your right you look at Harry who is smiling at you warmly as his hand reaches over and squeezes your knee gently.

“It’s going to be fine. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you, you’re still their daughter.”

“That’s not what they told me the last time I was here,” you whisper, feeling your throat closing up.

“We all say things in the heat of the moment. Seeing how happy they were about this lunch proves that they regret what happened.”

Nodding you take a deep breath to get ready for whatever is going to happen. Leaning over the console you pull Harry in for a kiss and it calms your nerves a little. Getting out of the car he takes your hand and squeezes it to let you know he’ll be right by your side all along. As you walk up to the front porch a sense of strong nostalgia washes over you.

You didn’t have a bad childhood, your parents provided you so much growing up, it’s sad to think what it has become. In a way you feel more anxious than walking the red carpet a week ago for the Grammys even though you’re just meeting your parents, but this is a turning point in your life that needed to come sooner or later.

“I’m right here, baby. It’s going to be fine,” Harry murmurs, kissing your forehead before you ring the doorbell, feeling weird that you come here as a guest, not as someone who belongs here.

You hear footsteps approaching on the other side, two frames appear through the clouded glass of the front door and then it flies open, pushing all air out of your lungs, clinging tightly onto Harry’s hand. There’s a moment of silence and just staring at each other before the tiniest smile tugs on your lips.

“Hi mom, hi dad.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fiction #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #harry styles x reading #harry styles x y/n

[kawaiitoga]

𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕞𝕙𝕒 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕓𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕕𝕒𝕪

╰┈➤ includes: bakugou, todoroki, jirou, midoriya, momo, aizawa

╰┈➤ cw: none!! just them being incredibly sweet (if there are any, please notify me!!)

╰┈➤ A/n: this was requested by one of my friends, so i hope i can serve it justice!! also if you have any requests, feel free to request them in the questions box!! <33 also im sorry if there are any word mistakes!!

╰┈➤ word count: 1,803 words

╰┈➤ summary: how they end up finding out it’s your birthday, what they give you and how you spend the day with them (they’re your s/o, general neutral reader)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

bakugou

you would probably have to tell him like either when you first meet or something like that

but after you tell him, he would act as if he didn’t care, but he would put it on his calendar on his phone

he would also be the type of person to text you at midnight just to say happy birthday bc he wants to be the first person to say it and if you actually ended up replying, he would tell you to get to sleep skfsfn

i feel like he would give you something quite small, but something that you can always be reminded of him by when you have it

it would probably be something you can wear with his name on it or both of your names put together but he would definitely act as if it wasn’t a big deal

like you would be like “thanks katsuki, you’re so sweet” “stop thanking me, i just did it because people get gifts for others when it's their birthday"

i feel like he would also not want to make it a big deal bc he wouldn’t want people think he’s some big softie for you so he would act as if it wasn’t too much to get done

you would probably spend the day with everyone else, celebrating your special day, but he would want some alone time with you in the evening

you would either play games together inside or watch a movie together or even just lay outside on the grass of the ua dorm building and look up at the stars (it's entirely up to you!!)

it would just be really peaceful and you would both be able to just appreciate each other in the silence <3

todoroki

i feel like there are two ways he would find out about your birthday

number one is he overheard someone in the class talking about your birthday coming up and he would immediately take note of it or he literally just asked you

you wouldn’t really think nothing of it since he didn’t know your birthday before if it was the second option (and he would just want to know), but he would make sure to prepare like a least a few weeks earlier

he would probably get you something quite expensive (obviously using his dad’s credit card skfnf)

it would probably be like something that you’ve really wanted and you’ve talked to everyone about it, so he probably just overheard or you’ve even talked to him about it

and seeing your eyes light up as you talk about it, he would just feel so motivated that it was the perfect gift for you

and it definitely would be, since you never thought he would get it for you, but he would say that it didn’t even cost that much and you don’t need to give him anything back bc it's your special birthday (as if you would have to get anything back for him on a normal day skfsnfn)

he would also treat you to gifts throughout most of the day, whether that be taking you shopping or taking you to get food or even going to a theme park

he wouldn’t care as long as he was with you

the day would probably end with you both taking a walk somewhere (probably to the park) and you would just sit on a bench side by side and just admire the surroundings around you

“thank you for today, roki.” “you’re welcome, i hope you had a special day”

he would be so sweet about it all too skfnf

jirou

i just have a feeling that she would know skdndb

either by finding out from one of her classmates or just overhearing you talking about it from someone else asking you when your birthday is

she would definitely prepare something and she may also start to doubt how much you would like your gift

but anything from jirou would be a gift skfnf

she’s been preparing her gift for a while, and she’s quite nervous about it, but she wrote a song about your relationship omg

it’s just overall so adorable and she would probably wait until the evening to perform it to you

you would just be sitting in her room together and she would be like “i have something for you, which i hope you’ll like”

you’re honestly quite confused bc you didn’t really expect her to get you a gift since the whole day had gone by and she hadn’t given you anything

she managed to keep it a good secret and the song would just be about how much she loves you and about the different qualities you possess and what she loves about you (which is everything but she manages to fit everything into a 4 minute song)

literally hug her after she finishes bc it was amazing, like everything about it was amazing

the way she managed to make the guitar sound so soft and the tune was so slow and soothing

and her voice, her voice is just perfection

it would just be the best birthday gift ever

midoriya

he just straight up asked you and scribbled it in his notebook skfnfn

nah cus he’s been preparing this for MONTHS and he’s so nervous about it and especially when he’s around you as your birthday gets closer

so you probably know what he’s planning just bc it’s so obvious but bless him for trying skfnfn

i feel like he would get you something probably that he made or something that’s really special to him (and no it would not be some all might figure kdfn)

he would start the day off by getting you your favourite flowers as he knocks on your room door at like six in the morning

you would usually hate people waking you up this early but seeing him give you flowers and telling you happy birthday with the perfect grin on his face, you can’t help but not be mad

he would probably get everyone to say happy birthday to you like even bakugou would probably be forced to say smth or he would mutter it under his breath

he would make sure that you have a cake and that everything has to go according to plan, he would definitely be the whole leader of the day

then after the whole party is over, he would take you to a special place (either where you had your first date or where you first met) and he would just prepare a picnic for you both

it would be really sweet and he would end up giving you a special piece of jewellery or one of those matching jewellery that connects when you put it together

he would probably have to end up saving up most of his money for it, and he wouldn’t even mind bc it would be spent on you which would give him more motivation

“i hope you had a great day! it took a lot to prepare all of this and i really hope you enjoyed it! i mean even though, the candles arrived at least two minutes late than the designated time, and the cake had a darker shade to the outline than what i had requested and the-”

then the muttering starts, you’re gonna have to stop him and assure him that you had an amazing day and it couldn’t be more perfect since you appreciate all the hard work he had done

momo

she definitely just asked you like it would just seem like something she could easily slide into the conversation and she wouldn’t even notice like “y/n, when is your birthday again?”

and you would just answer her and not think anything of it, she would probably hear about when your birthday was from someone else but she would want to confirm from the person herself just to have a second source that was 100% correct

she would definitely go all out for your birthday, no doubt

she would make sure that at least everyone in the class knows and that everything would go according to plan which it would

she would probably take you out shopping and if you dislike shopping, she would take you to somewhere that you do like and would allow you to spend how much money you want

you would be quite unsure at the start since you don’t want to spend too much of her money but she would say that it’s for your birthday and she wants to treat you so she would insist on it

and don't keep declining bc at this point she’ll think that maybe she should’ve tried harder and she’ll start to doubt herself so please just spend her credit card skfnfn

she would probably get you something quite extravagant after the whole going out trip

whether it be an expensive piece of jewellery or some expensive clothing that you really wanted, she would make sure to get it for you

it would just be really sweet and she would probably be blushing whilst giving it to you after she sees how much you love it

“i just saw that you really wanted it, so i wanted to surprise you with it” bless her heart omg

she’s just overall very precious so please thank her for the whole day skdn

aizawa

for this one, let’s just say that you’re probably a pro hero also or you work at the school (it’s up to you)

he would probably overhear about your birthday coming up from another person, but he wouldn’t think much of it, he would just keep it in mind

on the day of your birthday, you would spend the morning in bed and he would probably get you breakfast in bed, just bc he would want to stay in bed for most of the morning also sjdnf

but if you wanted to actually do smth for the rest of the day, then he would oblige since it was your birthday

you would be able to do whatever you wanted to do, while he follows you around and tries to enjoy himself but he just enjoys being with you

he would end up giving you a ring (smth similar to a promise ring) but he wouldn’t admit it was a promise ring sjnffn

“i just thought it looked nice, don’t think much of it” he would say something similar to this but he would just say that to hide how flustered he is after seeing you appreciate it after opening the box

the day would be similar to a normal day, but just with you being able to enjoy yourself without having to be around the students or (if you’re a pro hero) having to fight villains all day

#my hero academia #mha x you #anime scenarios #anime #bakugou x y/n #todoroki shouto #bnha todoroki #bnha #jirou kyoka x reader #bnha jirou #midoriya x you #midoriya x reader #momo yaoyorozu #mha yaoyorozu #yaomomo #aizawa shouta #mha aizawa #aizawa x reader

[hinasho]

isle of the lost vs descendants 1 characterizations

the book ends literally when the movie starts so their personalities cant be that different right? lets see

(similarities posted at the bottom!)

DIFFERENCES:

book: when evil queen goes on about beauty related things, especially in regards to her daughter, usually evie would begrudgingly recite whatever “tip” eq taught her and just go along with what she says. not to say she hated those kinds of things, but whenever her mother brought it up, she never expressed similar excitement or engagement. more often than not she was indifferent to her mother’s beauty antics, and we only see her talk about them in regards to herself in the last few chapters (im not talking abt the mirror incident, but the one liners she’d drop about her appearance here and there) movie: when the parents first tell their kids about going to auradon, eq talks about sprucing her daughter up before she leaves and evie is visibly excited about the makeover. she also goes onto encourage it on others as seen when they’re all in the limo and she tries to put makeup on mal.

book: the villain parents are not friends and we almost never see them together. the one time we saw the parents/adults all together was in the prologue scene for evie’s 6th birthday party. after that they never interact and dont pay each other any mind. this is especially true regarding evil queen and maleficent, as they state in the book that they’ve been at odds ever since they fought over who’d rule the isle. eq has also just been welcomed back into society after being banned by the other, so time-wise, at worst, they are still enemies and, at best, barely tolerable acquaintances. movie: evil queen & maleficent have a significantly close relationship, so much so that eq knows her house like the back of her hand and where maleficent keeps things, specifically that her spellbook is in the fridge. they even have a laugh about how they use to run things before being forced to live on the isle. they seem to be genuinely close. 

put the rest under the cut bc this post is too long lol

book: jafar and jay’s mantra is “whoever has the gold makes the rules” which was significant because it helped them while in the forbidden fortress movie: jafar and jay’s mantra is “there’s no team in I” (while this change was surprising, i also wasn’t that upset abt it bc both book and movie!jay struggle with teamwork)

book: carlos is not athletic at all and goes on about how he hates gym class. he is very focused on stem and doesn’t really care about any other kind’ve hobby. meanwhile jay is athletic and does casual parkour when going anywhere. movie: both of them do extreme parkour in the opening song. im not referring to the dancing ofc, but the extra flips and tricks they do. this is not unusual for jay, but is in regards to carlos.

book: jay isn’t the only one that goes around stealing things, mal very much does it to. at the end of the day they’d even compare how many things they’ve stolen to see who’s the best thief. jay usually wins, but still, both are thieves. movie: when they get to auradon, mal is very confused as to why jay would take the time to steal things and even needs for him to explain why he does it.

book: ben describes audrey as a classic fairy tale princess. she finds all things in auradon lovely and beautiful, and even has a bird land on her finger during their date. while she does think negatively of everyone on the isle, she acts mostly “lovely and sweet” before anything else, and it is not faked. think: giselle from enchanted. movie: idk how else to explain this difference besides “audrey just has a different vibe”. she is more regina george-esque than genuinely cheery, and puts on an obviously fake smile and attitude so often that queen belle expresses distaste for her 

SIMILARITIES:

mal likes art and goes around the isle putting up tags --- (the romance storyline wasn’t bad, but it would’ve been nice to see mal maybe join an art club? or get into painting or smthg else related to her hobby)

carlos is afraid of dogs --- in the book he can’t even say or hear the word bc it’s a trigger for him. he can say “puppies”, but he cannot say the word dog. whereas in the movie, he says the word several times. this is an extremely minor difference to be fair

when they’re afraid/think they’re in danger, they all cling to jay

they’re not used to sunlight 

the ben & mal tension on first meet (and continued infatuation before the cookie scene) --- in the book both characters have had a dream about the other. they didn’t know who the other was, but they remembered the dreams vividly enough that they were able to describe their faces in detail. in the movie when they first meet, both pause on each other several times. it’s likely because of the o’l Disney Romance™️, but it could also be because of curious recognition. 

jay is a flirt/smoother charmer and girls fawn over him

carlos is good with and likes science & technology

mal wanting to prove herself to her mother & the others not being as set on it --- in the book, mal is constantly reminded of the times her mother has called her “not worthy of bearing her own name or of being her daughter” and it causes mal to lose her cool several times. the other VKs also have parental issues ofc, but ones that are not as focused on proving themselves like mal’s are. theirs lean more towards other problems. in the movie she is extremely insistent on reminding them what they’re at auradon for and that this is their “one chance to prove themselves”

the core four freeze in fear when confronted with the reality of their parents’ pasts

mal can touch maleficent’s scepter --- to be fair that dance number in the museum was most likely just mal daydreaming, but still

jay going off on his own/following his own plan --- in the book jay and jafar plan for him to go with mal to the forbidden fortress and then double cross her and steal the scepter for himself, taking it as their “big score”. in the movie when they first see the wand with their own eyes, he runs off in front of everyone and only opens the gate enough for himself to squeeze through. carlos has to open it wider so they can all get through it after him. and once theyre in the same room as the wand, he reaches for it first against mal’s wishes.

carlos is bad at sports --- this is in both the differences & similarities section because, while in the book & movie he’s bad at sports, in the book he also doesnt like them and has no desire to do them as he is completely focused on science & tech. while after some practice in the movie, carlos joins the tourney team alongside jay. (i personally would’ve preferred for him to join a computer or engineering club)

mal can manipulate people with ease (book: evie / movie: jane & ben)

fairy godmother is mainly the one that enforces the “no magic” rule --- beast may have created it, but both in the book & the movie, people/creatures talk about fairy godmother being the one that restricts them

carlos climbs trees/searches for higher ground when afraid

evie knows how to use her looks, specifically her smile, to get the things she wants (book: persuading dr. facilier / movie: getting info out of chad)

audrey likes to dance 

carlos is sarcastic & competitive 

mal cheers up evie when she’s upset 

evie is good with academics

ben wanting to be his own person rather than act like his father --- this was a good continuation from book to movie as ben only realizes he needs to be himself in the final chapters, which he just continues to encourage in the movie. 

mal’s spur of the moment saving tactics

the villains aren’t good with computers/the internet --- the isle canonly doesn’t have wifi and in the movie the villains struggle with the laptop that was most likely given to them from an auradon representative

audrey’s family still being deeply traumatized by what maleficent did 

belle not letting beast talk shit 

mal pitying her mother for what she went through --- in the book: when she sees the past of what happened at aurora’s christening and sympathizes that her mother was nothing but a sad lonely girl. in the movie: the “and i really wish you hadn’t gotten there yourself” line during ben’s coronation

annddd yeah!

honestly there were a lot more similarities than i was expecting, and i am pleasantly surprised! book to movie things dont usually crossover well, but honestly, the first movie didnt do too bad of a job of it. 

tbh i think the one that probably suffered the most was audrey’s character. she really seemed very different from her book counterpart. this isnt to say that book!audrey was a saint and would’ve treated the VKs kindly, but she also wasn’t a fake person and was genuinely that cheery and upbeat all the time. whereas in the movie, it seems like almost nobody likes her (except chad) bc of her “fakeness”. 

i personally think if they were gonna go with the “bad girl and her minion” role, then audrey should’ve been the minion. in the book she was kind’ve an airhead (?? idk she just tended to have her head in the clouds a lot) and if one of the auradon girls told her to act a certain way towards the VKs for the “good of auradon”, i could see her listening to them. i dont know if she’d be the one to come up with the evil deed herself though. 

overall, the continuity flowed pretty well. i wish they didn’t change audrey’s character like they did (they probably could’ve had jane play the role of ‘stuckup girl’ tbh since she was a new character and her mother had a higher position in the kingdom compared to audrey’s parents anyway, so smthg to boast abt), but other than that, the movie’s characterizations were kinda close to the books!

#descendants #babbles #long text post // #now i gotta read Return #isle of the lost spoilers obviously

[hu4ngs]

Ten as a boyfriend pls! Thank you!!

ohhhh boi

omg this baby

first of all congrats, you’ve got yourself a MAN

so let’s go from a to z

you met him when you attended your friend’s (let’s say guanheng) sports match

you weren’t all close to guanheng, so you have no idea who’s in his friend’s circle

and you were very much surprised that he asked you - of all people - to go to his match

so as a token of gratitude, you attended

you sat on the bleachers

you sat next to ten ;)

your first thought when you saw him was that you think he looks so much alike guanheng

when ten caught you staring, him being a lil shit, he just HAD to call you out, playfully, of course

“take a picture, it lasts longer”

you’re confused and taken aback

“i’m sorry, what?”

he laughed at you, before shaking his head

“i was kidding!” he told you

and then you laughed, but you were still very confused

ten, on the other hand, just brushed it off

although he’s a little embarrassed that his joke didn’t come through

there was an awkward silence between you two now

“so who are you here for?” he asked

“my friend, guanheng. he said this is his first time being a regular, so he wants every one he knows to -”

“to go see his match?” he finished your sentence for you

you’re really confused with this man

you nodded nevertheless, “how’d you know?” 

surprise surprise

guanheng and him are friends!

so you two exchanged instagrams cuz why not

he’s hot, you’re hot, i don’t see a problem here

and then it just continued on since then

you’d reply to his story

he’d reply to your story

it continued on like that for about two months

and then ten finally tells you that he’d like to have your number

you’re more than happy to give them to you

then you two started playing imessage games together

ten: damn you really suck at cup pong, y/n

you: literally leave me alone

ten: saving your number as ‘loser’ now

this goes on for a few more months i tell you

because ten is a prideful person

he’s not just gonna give in and admit to himself (or to anyone, for that matter) that he has fallen in love

plus, if you’re gonna get TEN to have a crush on you, you’re gonna have to wait longer than 3 months, this man isn’t here for puppy love, he’s here for LOVE love

after months, and you two are noticeably comfortable with each other now, you started opening up a little

every now and then you’d talk about your day to him

and ten appreciates that

he feels needed

he feels wanted

and he loves feeling that way

he loves feeling important to someone

even if he doesn’t open up as much as you do, you didn’t mind

you figured when he wants to open up, he will

and he noticed this about you, and totally loved this about you

plus to you, it’s not a big matter anywas

oh, you’re so oblivious with your feelings for him that was increasingly growing that’s why you’re so tolerable for him

one fine day

more like night

you were texting him

and ten asked you out

das right

just you two, out on a date

he was so straightforward about it??? big dick energy right there

n e ways

you’re like holy shit holy fuck oh my god wow

of course you said yes

only an absolute fool wouldn’t say yes to ten

so the next day yall meet up

he looks stunning

you look stunning

oh god i love a power couple

ten’s a little shy than he was the last time you saw him

and when he’s shy, he giggles and smiles a lot its adorable i tell you i’m so in love with you, ten

anywAys

he took you out to see a movie

and there wasn’t any bomb movie at that time so yall settled with a horror movie

but its shitty though

but it’s okay bc it’s the memories that matters xoxo

ten purposely picked the couple seat btw

he’s a sly fox

like i said it was a crappy horror movie so you weren’t really scared

but ten was surprisingly kept on his toes during some parts

considering all the times ten had teased you thru text

you decided to jumpscare him

you whispered-yelled a ‘boo!’ to him during the suspense part

and he actually S C R E A M

mans screamed LMAO

the few people who came to watch the movie gave you two quick glances

“i’m gonna beat your ass, y/n!” he told you

but you were too busy laughing to react to him

after the movie ended

ten was still a lil mad that you embarrassed him like that

so you decided to take him to an arcade 

ten quickly got over it and was excited to beat you in games like he usually does

“try beating me in real basketball the same way you did in the imessage version, loser!” ten told you

and obviously he won

virtual basketball and actual basketball are two different things

and you sucked at sports, even if its just an arcade game

i hope you know what basketball game im talking about omfg

and then you decided to play that shooting game where you have to kill zombies

it was nerve-wrecking 

you two were literally SO loud with letting out frustrations about how the zombies should just ‘leave you alone’ and how they should ‘go fuck themselves’

but yall actually won the game!!

you losers actually WON!!

you were so happy because you’re so used to losing in games

that you just,,, pulled ten into a hug

as you excitedly laugh, happily telling him that you’ve won because of how good your teamwork was

your ear was pressed exactly to where his heart was

and you’re surprised that his heart was beating so fast and so loudly

maybe it’s just the adrenaline from playing the game

so you brushed it off

then you went out to eat together

and when yall were eating

you talked to each other a bit more

talking about random things and facts about yourselves

you know,,, small talk and shit

ten, at this point, had already acknowledged that he has feelings for you

but after knowing how much you’re well educated about things he’s interested in, he falls harder for you

as you were busy talking

he couldn’t help but hold one of your hand that was on the table

you quickly became quiet as you stared down at his hand

“ten?”

“hey, y/n?”

you nodded as a response, wondering what the hell is he up to now

“do you think i’m a dumbass?”

you laughed at that question, not thinking much of it

you are, in fact, more intrigued with him holding your hand like that

“sure, sometimes you are”

he chuckled at your answer

and then he made eye contact with you

“well am i a dumbass if i told you that i like you? and that i wanna date you?”

you almost choked on your food

“wait! wait, wait. do you mean that?”

“of course”

you didn’t think twice

you’ve never been so sure about an answer your WHOLE life until now

“then yes, you are a dumbass! but, i like dumbasses. especially cute ones like you”

oh boy ten loves his baby confident like that btw ^

and voila! ever since then you two became a couple

NOW i was so into writing this

let’s get to the point

him as your boyfriend?

nothing changed much

except now he takes you out in so much dates

he loves you so much, and he’s constantly reminding you

he’s not one to admit his love as often as it seemed, so he’d show it through his act of kindness

he knows how much you appreciate the little things

so, he’d shower you with little things

he’d tell you to be safe when you’re on your way to somewhere

facetimes/calls you whenever you tell him a good news, just to congratulate you and say ‘i love you and i’m proud of you, baby!’

he has a lot of petnames for you

baby, angel, babe, honey, darling, fatass, loser, the list goes on

he comes over so often you have a hard time trying to sneak him out whenever your family member comes back from work/school

he’d tease you a lot for being scared to introduce him to your parents though

but he doesn’t mind, when you’re ready, you’re ready

he doesn’t really hug a lot

he kisses you a lot though

he lovesssss giving you a peck on your lips

when you two meet up? kiss

when you’re going back home? kiss

when you made a funny joke? kiss

when he finds you adorable? kiss

oh my god your first kiss with him was totally accidental

ten was showing you his new art and you complimented him

it boosted his self confidence

and then he was jokingly saying “your boyfriend is such a genius artist, don’t you think?”

he was walking towards you at the same time

then he accidentally tripped whilst he was rambling on about how amazing he is

but it’s okay he landed straight into your arms so you managed to catch him before he falls and breaks his nose

BUT his lips landed a centimetre away from your lips

when he pulled back he was like O__O

“did i kiss you?”

“no”

“aw, that sucks”

you were kinda blushing now

he saw you like this, and took this opportunity

he quickly wrapped his arm around your waist, and leaned in to kiss you

it wasn’t THAT passionate

but it was sweet

he was smiling in the kiss when you kissed back

when he pulled away, your noses were still touching

and he took the time to admire your beautiful face

“i love you, babe”

ANYWAYS!! OH MY GOD THIS IS GETTING ME IN MY FEELS!!!!

he compliments you a lot too

he’s constantly reminding you that you’re beautiful

sometimes he invites you when he’s going out with guanheng/taeyong/johnny because he wants everyone he cares about to meet you

he talks about you a lot to his family, too

saying how lovely you are, and how smart you are

and that his family would absolutely adore you when you meet them

god he praises you so much he literally boosts your confidence

oh ALSO!!!

he’d go to every event you joined

you’re doing a performance at your school/college? he’s there to support you

your school’s doing an open carnival and you’re the host for the event? he’ll be there

you’re at a math championship? he’s sitting amongst the crowd praying you’d do your best

you’re volunteering? you’re going together because no way in hell is he gonna let you do all these hard work without his help

you appreciate this so much, it means a lot to you

during your anniversaries/birthday, he’d surprised you a lot

he’d buy you the gift that you didn’t remember telling him that you wanted it

along with 10 other gifts that he bought you 

he’ll take you to that fancy restaurant you’ve been eyeing a lot whenever you two go out

he’ll also remind you how much he loves you because you just mean so much to him

whenever you two argue

he’s usually a dick ngl

he’s got a sassy mouth

it’s not his fault if he roasts you

also

you two argue quite often too

some more serious than the other

ten builds a big wall around his heart because he’s just a guarded person in general

it takes a long time for him to open up and trust someone

but once he does, he trusts said people very dearly

even so, whenever you argue, it’d take a while for him to cheer up

it takes an even longer time if he was in the wrong, because he’s quite an egotistical person

but once he cools down completely

he’ll go see you

and he’ll cuddle with you for as long as he can

caressing your hair

whispering sweet nothings into your ear

he does feel guilty of course, but its kinda difficult for him to apologise, so he does these act of kindness instead as an apology

he doesn’t mean anything that he said when he argued with you though

he was simply just trying to win the argument

he’s so glad that you’re able to tolerate with him

because not a lot of people can

he appreciates you a lot for that

he makes it clear that he’d do anything for you because you’re simply worth the effort

in conclusion

ten would be an amazing boyfriend for you

he loves you dearly

he will be the best boyfriend ever

his hugs will linger with you for days

his kisses gets sweeter each time he kiss you

although he can be an ass sometimes

it can’t be helped, that’s part of ten’s nature

he’s a lil mischievous, so you need to tolerate with that, the same way he’ll have (and will) tolerate with your bad sides too

please don’t ever let him go

ten as your boyfriend will make you forget about you exes, he’s just THAT amazing

i said it countless times but im gonna say it again

he loves you so much, so so so so so much, you’re his own personal angel to him

#aaaa this is kinda messy and bad im sorry :( #nct #wayv #nct u #nct ten #ten #ten scenarios #ten au #ten imagine #ten x reader #wayv au #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #nct scenarios #nct imagines #boyfriend ten #nct fluff #wayv fluff #ten angst #chittaphon #wayv chittaphon #wayv ten #super m #superm #super m ten #super m scenarios #ten fanfic #nct fanfic #wayv fanfic

[aaronhart93]

text || alison & aaron

Discord text thread featuring: aaron & @alison-haynes

When: december 16

Mentions: @quentindelancret​ @ronnieroy @wtf-eden @lemonkiaiyo

Description: aaron spills his guts about quentin to alison and alison asks aaron for advice about lemon 

TW: -

Alison.

I know you’re spending the night Christmas Eve, so we can do Christmas morning together. Do you want to stay for Christmas dinner? Or are you heading to your moms?

Aaron.

maybe I’ll ask my mom and Ireland to your place?

by the way. Eden and Ronnie are staying with me for a bit. Just so you know who’s here when Des is here. Ronnie’s apartment was broken into and Eden needs some space from her boyfriend

Alison.

yes, that’s fine with me! I’d love to have them here.

I love Eden and Ronnie. Thanks for letting me know though. Are they both doing okay?

Aaron.

Ronnie is shaken up and Eden is just stressed. I think it’s good for them to be together though lol they’re something else when they’re together

Alison.

Well they are lucky to have you helping them out

Aaron.

also

I have another thing to tell you

like get off my chest

don’t judge me plz

Alison.

oh boy

go for it

Aaron.

so I um

remember when I told you about Quentin and how I wanted him to meet Des and you told me to figure out how I feel about him

well

it unfortunately hit me up side the head after the holiday party. I know he’s in love with me and I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him. Thing is...last night I took him out for his birthday at throuple. Some of our friends were there including Roman and I snuck off to get drunk and flirt with Roman AT Q’S BDAY PARTY. And I feel soooo terrible about it

Alison.

*ugh emoji*

if you’re in love with him, do you want it to turn into something,

Aaron.

hey I told you you couldn’t judge me

I’m not sure.

no I like being single

Alison.

I’m not judging

How do you love someone and not want to do something about it?

Aaron.

a lot of reasons

I love my freedom and being single

and I don’t want to hurt him. I think it might be better for us to just stay the way we are and not put any restrictive label on it

Alison.

I don’t know. If I loved someone, i think it’d probably hurt more to not be together.

but it’s a relationship between you guys, you know what’s best for your two

Aaron.

i don’t know. But I haven’t exactly told him how I feel

and at the holiday party...we were getting really intimate. Like. We’ve had sex before obviously but it felt so much more intense this time

and then I pushed him off of me like a dick because I couldn’t handle it

Alison.

are you going to tell him how you feel?

Yikes...that’s tough. Have you been intimate with him since?

Aaron.

if you count drunk sex as intimacy then yes

and no. i mean...i dont know...if i do things will change with us

Alison.

I feel like things are going to change either way

Aaron.

explaiiinnn

Alison.

with what happened at the holiday party, I feel like that could happen again. If you love him, sex is going to be intense and what if you just can’t have sex with him anymore?  Maybe if your feelings are out there it will make things easier

Aaron.

i cant imagine a world where i can't have sex with him lmao

Alison.

well it’s happened once before, it could just get more intense

Aaron.

https://media.tenor.co/videos/0d5495d03063a544f7f621e8c6a978e6/mp4

Alison. 

just trying to be honest with you

Aaron.

i know

thats why im coming to you with this

Alison.

ultimately it’s your decision, I just feel like if your feelings are on the table it might be better.

Aaron.

im afraid of admitting that to him though

Alison.

are you afraid of it destroying everything? Or afraid of what might come of it?

Aaron.

both

Alison.

I think you should think about it. Like truly think about it. Telling him might have a better outcome than you think it will

Aaron.

ugh okay i hear you

doesnt mean im gonan do it though

Alison.

at least think about it

Aaron.

i hear you, respectfully disagree, but hear you

loll

Alison.

you were scared to start a relationship with Eden when that started up, and that went well. So just remember, relationships aren’t terrible.

Aaron.

it went well bc we acted more like best friends than lovers

Alison.

think about it

Aaron.B

but you're right it wasn't a terrible relationship

okay

ellie is gonna take Des to piano today btw. am i picking her up or are you

Alison.

I can pick her up

also can we talk about that weather on Sunday? Did you know it was supposed to snow?

Aaron.

no clue

hope you stayed warm lmfao

Alison.

I did

I was not expecting to be locked in all day on my birthday though

Aaron.

yeah but im sure you loved an excuse to stay in

im just glad the babysitter was able to keep Des for longer

Alison.

It was a nice day for sure. Best birthday I’ve had in a while

I thought the same thing about the twins. I was stresssing over the thought of the nanny bringing them home in the storm

Aaron.

im glad they're okay

were you alone....or

Alison.

no I wasn’t alone

Aaron.

explainnn

Alison.

Lemon wanted to walk me home from the party, and when we got back I invited him up for coffee and we just talked.....and talked and talked. Next thing I knew it was morning and we were snowed in together

Aaron.

ya'll had cofffffeeeeeeee after a party at a bar?? lmao

Alison.

yes yes we did

no judgement Aaron

Aaron.

hey.

No judgement

just a questionnnnnn

Alison.

it was a great cup of coffee

but speaking about lemon, I need your advice on something

Aaron.

hahaha okay hit me!!

Alison.

1. Do you think I should make a move and ask him to maybe be official? Or should I wait to see if he makes that move?

2. I should keep Christmas gifts for him not too crazy, right? You know I love to spoil people at Christmas

Aaron.

you just met this man like two weeks ago. Less than that. Are you sure you’ve gotten to know him well enough to make it official? What if hes like a murdered or something?

definitely don’t make it crazy. Especially since you’re well off and he’s not. But you could probably buy him some nice things!!

Alison.BOTToday at 3:00 PM

Has it really only been a couple weeks? It feels like it has been longer than that. I can’t explain it Aaron, but something feels right about him. Like, there is something there that I didn’t even feel with the twins father. I know it’s fast, but I just have these feelings that I know I won’t be able to shake anytime soon. Also, he’s too sweet to be a murderer so I’ve ruled that option out. Plus, the world already thinks we’re together, someone shared a photo online of us kissing at the holiday party and paps caught lemon coming into my pent that night

I’m struggling to come up with good ideas for him. I’ve written something for him, and he was telling me about this flower from his native island,  I was thinking about doing research and trying to get him some of those flowers. Is that weird? It’s probably weird.

I don’t want to weird him out

Aaron.

okay well you can't really fairly compare him to the twins' father. he sucks. for like 2345 different reasons. so that not really a great comparison. the pap photos don't surprise me though. have u talked to him about that? like...ngl getting papped for being alison haynes' life takes a lot of getting used to. even for me, and i already had some exposure with rich kids. what did you write for him???? i wanna hear. i think the song and the flower would suffice as a christmas gift, especially considering he might make something for you too ya know?? the flower thing isnt weird, it's really really thoughtful.

Alison.

but I didn’t think he was a tool when I dated him. I thought he was the person I’d spend my entire life with. We all know the truth behind him now. But there is just something I feel for Lemon that I need to explore. We talked a little bit about it at the holiday party after he kissed me, but I did text him today about all of it. Because we’re trending on Twitter. I told him I’d make a public statement and shut it down if that is what he wants. But I’m waiting to hear back from him. I really hope it doesn’t scare him off, but I do know we need to talk about it because it is a lot. I haven’t recorded it yet, but I’ll play it for you next time I see you. You think so? I just don’t want to seem weird.

Aaron.

i think you need to see how he feels about that honestly...because that could be a big thing for him. especially since he grew up so modestly...hes so not used to that

the flower is probably way more thoughtful of a gift that i would ever think of

Alison.

I know. Of course I am going to talk to him about it before I do anything crazy. I'm just nervous it's too much, its too much for a lot of people.

Aaron.

it is, yeah. but i really hope it works out

im gonna have to have a stern talking to him though

Alison.

i do too

oh boy, not the big bad aaron stern talk

Aaron.

tell him to be afraid lmao

Alison.

i'll warn him

#text #text: alison #alison #discord

[rqs902]

.

enyu’s mom calls him "公子哥" is he rich or is this a JOKE LOL and his mom is at a bar IM CRYING HAHA 

i just get a feeling youku eliminated shiwei for dramatic effect... 

but aw xue en crying over weihao and mxy saying star master kids are all worthy to lin mo 

L O L i was gonna be like oh thats nice enyu’s dad asked about his friends, he’s really been paying attention but then he starts throwing these

L O L I SEE WHERE HE GETS HIS REALNESS FROM HAHAHHAHA

LOL NOW HE KNOWS HOW IT FEELS

omg xikan wanting to call luo zheng!!!! im grateful theyre still close, theyre doing such different things now

awww mubo !!! being all supportive and protective of zuo ye 

hHAHAHA omg fan yu talking on the phone to renyu is so cute, so expressive with the gasp when renyu says they just recorded elims and then the AHHHH and OH MY GOD when he says he and zaixi were eliminated and the ALSKJLAKS and loud sigh when renyu reveals he just tricked him hahahaha theyre so cute omg can fan yu pls show up at the next perf, id die

lin ran’s “new world new me” im cry

lol renyu’s getting roasted by his team mates but at least they didnt really ditch him 

what is this set up anyway? theyre given a mission to leave, so theyre allowed to run around... but not? who planned this lol youku......

LOL jin fan tryin to reason why theyll be ok going to guangzhou 

did their group just get special permission bc director li hao?

hahaha ayyy zhan yu jumped first, you go child! not surprised somehow that he’d love it

lin mo’s group went to the same place? LOL but also they seem so much more under control LOL such a guai group 

LOL WHY ARE THEY SO LOUD HAHAHAH i dont think ive ever seen people that loud on a roller coaster LOL 

LOL why am i not surprised enyu is the one carrying xzx 

i cant with xzx and his heelys omg

leave it to csp to relate bungee jumping to some great deeper meaning for zlj’s personal growth hahahah but good on the kid for going through with it. interesting that zixin said he sees himself in zlj so much

HAHAHHAHA THIS FACE

when reminded he’s the hormone representative his face changed so fast im crying 

ycw is laughing his butt off and i love how it says “children’s playground” in the background

when ycw gets thoroughly ignored

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OSCAR’S SSHHHHHHHH AND XUE EN TELLS HIM TO WATCH HIS “LANGUAGE LANGUAGE” HAHAHAHHA 

i just realized theres an english speaking line in this group :’) syh, xue en, oscar 

awwwwwwwwww them all planning to sing him happy birthday on the dot and setting it up so he can be at the top at that moment awwww thats so fun

LOL the way that oscar cursed his way to the top and is sweating so hard LOL the poor kid omg HAHAHHA

aw he can tell syh drew the card

LOL ITS OKAY OSCAR I STRUGGLE WITH READING TOO 

get you a friend like ycw who’ll tell you that you can decide how to pronounce words right, just because its your birthday 

struggling to read xue en’s handwriting LOL 

HHAHAHAHHAHAHA HOW DOES XZX RECOGNIZE IT’S HUANG ENYU BY FEELING HIS PECS HAHAHHAHA

i feel the need to just say huang junrong looks so adorable in his bright yellow outfit hahah

there’s two types of kids in this group: hjr and enyu screaming their butts off, and lin mo and xzx wallowing in regret of their life decisions

hjr and enyu always saying its too short when the ride ends LOL

lin mo talking real talk over dinner about their feelings BC HES A REAL LEADER and knows how important it is to address this. these concerns are obviously very present in his mind, even when theyre out having fun to relax, and he’s still trying his best to figure out how he can help them and motivate them. 

makes sense that they would include enyu interview clips bc hes surely spouting the real talk, but i think its interesting its mainly him and lin mo getting screen time. 

enyu would be the one to speak up and say something when lin mo is trying to talk to them though. i think theyre both right though, im guessing lin mo is in part too nice, bc he doesnt feel comfortable enough with them to be as strict as he normally is, bc he knows they have reason to not be motivated and he feels bad for them. but at the same time, he brings up a good point that they themselves need to have their own motivation. it cant just be him putting in effort. and i HUGELY respect that he is telling this to them straight up bc its a hard conversation to have, esp bc im sure he wants them to like him as a friend. but i respect that he knows if they have problems they have to air them out bc lack of communication will be too costly. 

momo is lucky he has someone like enyu on his team who’ll actually talk to him with real opinions rather than just hide in fear of disrupting the status quo. literally enyu is the one voicing that he doesnt want takeout and he doesnt want to stay up late, and other people agree, but the surprise on lin mo’s face just tells you that he wouldnt have even realized these are things that are bothering his teammates unless they straight up told him, and thankfully enyu did, bc lin mo thankfully is reasonable and willing to change his habits for the sake of the group TO HELP THEM. hes willing to do anything he can to help them, as long as they tell him what they want from him. huang enyu’s lesson in communication, dont let people guess, just tell them straight up 

its interesting bc its clear enyu respects lin mo a lot, says he has the experience and the skill and the right to yell at them to get it together, but hes still not afraid to tell lin mo he thinks lin mo should be more strict with them. and then i respect lin mo for not backing down when being criticized and for strongly insisting that they need to put in effort themselves too. he cant force them to do anything they dont want to do themselves. they themselves have to want to do well. 

lin mo is really out here taking care of his group of children and leading them and helping them and looking out for them and im just floored by his leadership yet again. i really hope they can pull it together. 

lin mo is a dork and stanning him leads to mostly either second-hand embarrassment or disappointment. from qcyn to snzm, it just always feels like he’s being mistreated and taken advantage of and stepped on, and sad things just keep happening to him. but then he has these moments where he reminds you of why he’s worth stanning. why it’s worth waiting for something good to finally actually happen. and why he deserves those good things. its just so nice to see hes getting some appreciation and recognition for the things he does. at least youku let us see his leadership in action. 

aw 

totally not surprised akey is there to drive the conversation for their group’s real talk time. tyger co-leader translates clearly hahah

LOL LI HAO TOTALLY FORGOT THE SNZM DANCE LOL

im like not surprised xikan’s group got the least adventurous adventure bc hes not afraid to show how serious hes taking this competition, but also somehow still feel like hes not getting better treatment relative to being number one?? maybe im just overthinking 

honestly all things considered im okay with this being the debut group

i mean i love ycw and zry but i feel like this makes sense to me.

this looks scary lol lin ran wyd

but yea even the way they framed the cliff hanger for next week... why do i just feel like xikan is not being treated with the respect he deserves?? 

anywayyyyyyyyyyyy for 少年營業中

LOL gz’s impression of zlj watching scary movies sounds so accurate im ded

zixin is so adorable!! i love his outfit too ahhah 

LOL gz’s sassy response to zlj responding when xue en says he’s gonna talk about a cute trainee with highly regarded visuals 

why am i totally not surprised xue en didnt get scared but zixin got scared AGAIN lol 

why do i suddenly get the realization that we hardly ever see ycw and zlj interact 

it just feels weird to see them together even tho they obviously have overlapping friend groups lol....

poor shiwei isnt even here and they keep talking about him LOL at least theyre not even really roasting him LOL ycw and yzx too nice for that

im just DYING at the cto gege’s laughing SO HARD HAHAHA 

and ycw’s face LOL 

xue en’s laugh made this ep worth it LOL

wow should i be happy that lin mo is finally in the next ep of this side show, or sad that jin fan never got to appear and itll be the last ep :( im also excited to see lin ran again! wow its weird to think that snzm is ending soon, it felt like the first 7 eps were like a slow burn and now its a mad rush to the end 

#rants #in which i get in deep enyu and lin mo feels

[cncobby]

What musical you take them to see/watch together

JOEL: Rent

As avid theatre nerds you both regularly go see shows as often as you can

Anytime he has a few days off you try to see whatever show is being performed

He got you guys both season tickets for Christmas so even when he’s not there you can go see shows<3

Your all time fave to watch together is rent tho

Casual date nights where you guys stay in and watch movies?

Half the time you guys choose to watch rent

Misfits in New York during the aids epidemic?? Yes

When you guys are driving theres a 99% chance you both jam out to la vie boheme and out tonight

Duets to take me or leave me<33

“Babe I could be roger right”

“I hate to break it to you baby but you’re not the tormented rocker type”

“But you could be my mimi<3”

“…I’ll pass”

tears up everytime angel dies but then pretends he doesn’t

Bonus: face timing and watching bootlegs of new shows together since you’re both impatient

RICHARD: In The Heights

you totally forgot this show existed for awhile 

when it randomly came on your broadway playlist you were like

“ohmygod YES”

we know he’s a music buff and loves all music he just never got the urge to listen to broadway songs

 so you’re like “heh im gonna surprise him so hard”

 its date night 

and usually he’s the one who likes to plan them and surprise you since he doesnt get to see you that often but this time the tables have turned

 he see’s you getting ready and is like why are u dressed so fancy???

ur just like shush go get changed into the outfit I laid out for you

And since he’s whipped for u he does it without question obviously

When u guys arrive at the theatre he’s a bit skeptical bc he’s not much of a broadway man

But when the first song he comes on and he hears:

“I emigrated from the single greatest little place in the Caribbean: Dominican Republic!”

His eyes get SO WIDE and baby gets so excited

he turns to u and is like !!!!

And you just smooch in response as to say 

“yes I know baby thats why I took you here”

He LOVES the show

is laughing the entire show at all the cultural references and jokes

Afterwards he plants the biggest kiss on your lips

“Thank you for taking me here amor, I loved it”

You guys play the soundtrack on the way home

He’s literally obsessed

Plays the soundtrack when he’s cleaning the house

when he goes back on tour the boys send you snapchats of him shaking his booty to Carnaval de barrio

Joel: “I love this show but what have you DONE HE WONT LET US LISTEN TO ANYTHING ELSE”

ERICK: Lion King

probably not the biggest theatre fan??

but he knows that you’re a fan so baby boy tries to keep up with you whenever you go on rants about it

Gets you tickets to lion king for your birthday

Had to ask Joel what show to pick since he was an ex theatre kid

Joel was like … better pick one thats super well known

Surprisingly likes it more than he thought he would??

His favorite part is watching your face throughout the show though

Getting a smile whenever your eyes widened in excitement

Or you danced in your seat to the music

(You didn’t have the heart to tell him you’ve seen this four times but)

(its fine who gets tired of lion king?? No one)

kinda zones out but still appreciates all the vocals and theatricality of it!!

Honestly he’s there to make his princess happy and by your squealing afterwards he figures its a success

you end up showing him other shows and playing your broadway playlist for him

ends u liking the heather’s soundtrack out of all of them??

you’re like noted i’ll see if there are tickets

(he most def doesn’t realize its about teenage murder but hey the songs slap)

ZABDIEL: Hamilton

honestly the perfect show to take him to

Written and performed by a fellow Puerto Rican??? Yes

(We’re gonna pretend its original cast bc I love them ok)

Also we know he loves beatboxing and rapping and both those things are v prevalent in this show

He’d read lin’s little bio thing in the playbill and be like OMG BABE HE’S Puerto Rican TOO

You’d prob have to explain certain parts of it bc American history is so fucking confusing

Also why is Lafayette also Thomas Jefferson???

Why is Peggy also Maria Reynolds??

Guns and ships … so fast and baby finds it hard to keep up but is like entranced

LOVES THE SCHUYLER SISTERS

After the show you find him humming the song

(I mean we know he loves women in charge … throwback to that one video … if u know u know)

When he’s back on tour he sends you videos of him jamming to the soundtrack

Bonus: he sends you a vid of him Joel and erick reenacting Schuyler sisters

Also bonus: you show him the Hamilton mixtape afterwords and he’s literally OBSSESED

CHRISTOPHER: Wicked

You wanted to take your baby to a CLASSIC since he doesn’t keep up with broadway

Plus it was endearing having him try and keep up with you babbling about it

He kept whining that you couldn’t play broadway when he was there bc he wanted to sing along too but he didn’t know any of the words

So you were like fine I’m taking us to watch a show

You have to keep shushing him throughout the show bc he gets too excited

“Ohmygod”

“woOOW”

During elphaba’s last note in no good deed he literally GASPS SO LOUDLY

*smacking his arm*

*whisper yelling*

“Christopher shut UP”

He’s not a soft boy at all but even he tears up at for good

Literally nuts at the vocals

After the musical he’s like in shock at how good the vocals were

you find him practicing fiyero’s parts in the next few days

(This was ur master plan bc Christopher as fiyero?? Ur dream)

buying matching wicked merch!!!

#cnco #cncowners #cncowner #cnco imagines #cnco fanfic #cnco headcannon #joel pimentel #richard camacho #christopher velez #erick brian colon #zabdiel de jesus #broadway #musical theatre

[sunshineofyourlove1967]

1 4 12 14 38 and 50 !

hellooooo thank you so much!!! im so glad you’re back, i’ve missed you so much!!!!

1. name your top three favourite songs: oh jeez alright so i think it’s…… in no particular order because i’m too weak to —- them lmao - ….why even try by hippo campus  - i don’t know why is this song so incredibly important to me, i discovered it like, i think a month ago or so? or maybe longer. but i wasn’t at like, the brightest place in my life and i was drawing while listening to it on repeat and kept listening to it for like, four days straight basically without getting tired of it, and it calmed me down so incredibly much, then i listened to it on the bus on my way to exams and back while reading, and i still listen to it every few days and feel so peaceful and transparent and understood, like the lyrics are fairly depressing but i’d found incredible comfort in them,  ‘on and on, the feelings burst and then they fall - till later on we won’t get back to patch things up’ like??? and the whole lyrics, what it speaks about, it’s so definitive, conclusive, irreversibly fatal, like there’s no going back but also no need to worry about things anymore, nothing will be the same as it used to be, but somehow the song was what made me cope with the fact and helped me find perhaps a more optimistic approach to it all, even if at the time it was more of a medium which i explored the lost, wandering, searching kind of sadness through. it’s not just the lyrics though, it’s the feel of the whole song, the guitar and bass and the tempo and all those little unique elements (the instrumental part before the bridge!!!!!!) and even if i won’t be listening to it in a month, a year, ten years, i think it’ll always remain special and unique to me and will always speak the same language as the part of my heart that had needed it so desperately at the time!!

god, how do i name my other top favourite songs after this dksfjhkdf

probably star treatment by arctic monkeys - we’d waited so long for the album even though we made peace with the fact that am was the last thing we’ll ever hear, and i lost my shit when i found out about the news that there was indeed another album coming!!! and then the tiny tbhc snippet on youtube aaaah i remember learning the guitar riff to it immediately and playing it over and over!!! and then we listened to it in my room when it came out and i was stunned the second i heard the opening piano and the backing vocals, and then the ‘as we gaze skyward, ain’t it dark early?’ part towards the end RUINED me and i still cry my eyes out every time i listen to it…. so yeah. am still do really own my ass sddfdf

and the third one……… hhhhhh how am i supposed to choose. probably something off everything you’ve come to expect by tlsp. the entire album is Packed with absolute total fucking bangers and it collectively destroyed us (also the whole tour…………..) probably pattern or element of surprise!!!! or aviation or the title track or used to be my girl or the bourne identity ( oof ) or hhhhhh i really can’t choose, let’s just say that the entire album shares the 3rd position lmao 

4. favourite album cover: oh i like this ask a lot!!! i rly love the cover of revolver by the beatles, it’s so iconic and i adore the style of it, the cover of tranquility base hotel + casino by am bcs,.. c’mon. (i actually made my own version of the model alex made sdkfjhf it was so fun!!! but my hands almost died) andddd is this it obviously, definitely maybe by oasis, and the cover of cullah the wild by cullah is so cool!! (he’s a practically unknown 28yo artist and he has such cool and creative songs!! it’s a mixture between like, alternative blues and alternative hip hop and something uniquely weird and experimental lmao and he releases an album on his birthday every year for free and i love him so much!! he definitely deserves more recognition)

this is what the cover looks like!! (and ‘where you do belong’ off the album is my absolute all time favourite)

12. what’s your favourite era of music: gotta be 50′s, 80′s, 90′s and 00′s, esp the alternative and garage rock scene

14. do you play any instruments? i do!! i play guitar, (acoustic only but god i want to get an electric one so bad) bass guitar, ukulele and i used to play soprano flute in elementary school lmao 

38. what’s a song that has inspired you: i usually pick songs that inspire me, give me certain imagery or provoke certain mood in me and just put them on repeat while i’m writing, so it’s gotta be…………………….. why even try by hippo campus (god this is getting embarrassing how many times am i gonna mention this song sdfdfsdfkdfjf but it’s SO AMAZING and so important to me), to bring you my love by pj harvey!!!! set your arms down, heads up and so good by warpaint, packt like sardines in a crushed tin box, life in a glasshouse, you and whose army?, i might be wrong by radiohead, the entirety of carrie & lowell by sufjan stevens, esp blue bucket of gold and john my beloved recently, and the cmbyn soundtrack by him: mystery of love, visions of gideon and futile devices!!

50 - put all of your songs on shuffle and list the first ten! - alright! so - 

daydreaming - radiohead

heavy storm - first aid kit 

underneath the sky - oasis

la parisienne - zaz

she came in through the bathroom window - the beatles

we no who y r - nick cave & the bad seeds

blue bucket of gold - sufjan stevens (oh hello!!)

the orange monkey - pj harvey

je hais les dimanches - édith piaf

a place i know - cullah (hmmm)

thank you so much for the ask!!!!! it Really kept me entertained for a while lmao thank you!!! 

#god this was a journey #i really didn't expect to get into describing why even try so intensely but yet here we are #ask #flying-overseas #answered #thank you so much!!

[undinefin]

アキレ〜さん〜お誕生日おめでとう〜

@red-dyed-sarumane SENPAI!!!!!!!!!!!! happy borth ur and old boy now and i did a cursed thing instead of writing something nice bc this was something that was brought up once and now its a must.

i hope u have a great day. buy the mic bitch. 

Adopting Risru

im so sorry for everything here it gets really uncomfortable at certain points but never crosses anything i promise i just had to work with a lot of tropes that most often deal with love so. yknow. i promise i love you senpai and im supporting you 100% !!!!!! this wasnt an excuse to write sickly things!!!!!! i look forward to more utaite conversations~. 

im not gonna read it over

Genre: cursed Word Count: 3877

The girl was sitting in her room, playing with her necklace solemnly. She sighed and began humming the melody to one of her favourite songs.

“Miwaku 1, 2, 3, kimi o tanjun ni, ubai satteshimau joudou, risei to no kyouhou,” she sang absentmindedly. Akire didn’t think of her voice as super amazing, but she’d been working hard on her range.

“Akire! Come downstairs I have a present for you!”

For a moment, Akire was confused. But then she remembered– it was her birthday!

As she made her way downstairs, Akire wondered what the present could possibly be. Maybe her mother would give her more money to buy albums but...thinking of the twenty something in her room it seemed unlikely. She could always hope though.

Akire heard a small noise. She looked down for a moment.

“Nani the fuck!!!!????”

Lying on the stair was her turtle Sui, on their back. Their toes were wiggling, trying to flip right side up.

Akire shook her head, “Sui, you’re such a dumbass.” The turtle looked at her. “Don’t you dare fucking piss.”

(this scene doesn't work anymore but FUCK man im still keeping it in)

Akire quickly returned the turtle to its tank and then finally made her way downstairs. But Akire was a clumsy baka so she tripped down the last three stairs.

“Itai yo!!!!!!” she shouted, like the damn weeb she was. She landed on her stomach, arms out. She lied there for a moment, tired.

Akire’s mother walked up. “Let’s go! We’re going to the pet store for your birthday!”

Akire shot up immediately. Would she finally be able to buy Water Vapor!?

“No more turtles though,” her mother said.

Akire pouted but understood. Her turtles were dumb. Cleaning their tank was work. Maybe she could get a cute little cat...

The idea of a cat got Super Nuko Ni Naritai stuck in her head. She began reciting the odd part at the beginning, making her mother shake her head in disappointment, but not surprise.

Upon finally reaching the pet store, Akire dashed inside. The cute dogs at the front of the store caught her eye immediately. She stayed at the windows where a bulldog, a golden retriever, and an Australian shepherd were playing. She was cooing and melting over their excitement.

A cat to her right caught her eye. Akire quickly moved onto the cats, watching the lazy balls of fur sitting, watching, waiting. They were so kawaii!!!!!!!!! She began singing Super Nuko Ni Naritai again, thanking the gods (Mafumafu) that it was in Japanese so no one could hear her inner furry.

“Hello! Have you heard of our new pet for sale?” a store clerk said, coming up to her.

Before Akire could even respond, the woman dragged her to the back of the store. In a cage was a small fox, a kitsune more accurately. The creature had odd navy fur, bordering on a dark violet. The orbs were an enchanting blue, curious, and unmoving.

“He’s only $42,069! So cheap for such a rare specimen!” the clerk said. She seemed desperate.

“Uhm-” Akire didn’t have that sort of money.

“Come on!!!!! He’s very cute.” As if to demonstrate this point, the clerk waved a treat in front of the glass. The kitsune perked up, but instead of doing a trick, he growled and scratched at the glass. When the treat didn’t magically osmosis through the glass, he backed up and crashed into the barrier, only to fall back into his cage.

“Cute...sure...” Akire said with suspicion.

“He’s just uhm...he takes some getting used to!” the clerk declared, seemingly more desperate.

Somehow, someway the gods above (Yukimi) must have carried Akire towards the cage, because before she knew it, she was standing in front of the creature.

Akire held out her hand, expecting the kitsune to start growling again. But instead the little fox sat and watched her. When Akire moved her hand to the side, it followed the movement.

“I think he likes you!” the clerk said rather forcefully. “You should buy him!”

Akire shook her head, “Oh I really don’t have that sort of money...I spend it on uhm, various musical interests.” Akire thought of her many albums.

Her mother walked up to the two. “Oh! What a cute little fox. Do you want him?” she asked her daughter.

“It’s expensive though...”

“How much?”

“$42,069,” Akire replied.

“Oh that’s perfectly fine!” her mother beamed. “It’s your birthday, we can afford it!!!!”

Akire watched as the poor kitsune was wrangled out of its cage. The creature didn’t seem to like the store clerks too much. Akire felt bad for him. He was kawaisou.

After the transaction at the counter, the store clerk turned to Akire. The creature was now in a small cage, with a leash (did....did leashes even work on foxes? Were you supposed to walk it???) and a blanket.

“What would you like to name him?”

Akire couldn’t explain why she thought of this name. Maybe it held some relevance to her in some other universe, perhaps it was the name of another utaite that she so loved.

“Risru,” she replied. The kitsune – now Risru – hummed at the sound, as if in approval (I really don’t know what to say here, really, what DOES the fox say. Like???? It doesn't bork does it??? no????????????? wa pa pa papapow! wa pa pa papapow!!)

***

At home, Akire was playing with Risru. For the first hour or so, he was curious, but still hesitant. He would only bring himself about a foot towards her, before scurrying off. The only thing that would keep him near her was a snack.

“Risru-chan! Kocchi kocchi!!!!” she cried. Akire waved a toy in front of her, piquing the curiosity of the kitsune.

The fox squeaked and jumped towards the toy, evidently landing in Akire’s lap. She rubbed behind his ears, giving him ALL the good rubs and pats. Risru stilled first, tense and uncertain. But after such pat, very rub, he calmed and leaned into Akire.

The time seemed to have flown by, and Akire was being called for dinner.

“So, how is he?” her mother asked.

Akire quickly responded, “He’s cute! I don’t know why he likes me though...I’m just super plain...”

Her mother chuckled, “Ha ha, maybe you’re just special!”

Akire rolled her eyes. “Special” she wasn’t special she was just a normal girl who definitely didn’t have magic powers or super strong strength or a great voice, s u r e.

She finished her dinner quickly and went upstairs. It was the ripe time of nine o’clock. Akire stopped by the bathroom mirror, catching herself and her very plain-boring-definitely-not-actually-super-pretty-and-will-cause-a-love-triangle appearance.

Her waist-length, brown hair hung, surrounded her face and simple brown orbs. Akire sighed, and didn’t mind whatever the mirror showed her. She began walking back to her room. Noticing the time, she sent out Oha’s to her favourite utaite.

“Silvana-oniichan!!! Ohayougozaimasu!!!!!!!!!!! And send tweet.”

As she walked into her room, she bumped into someone. The sudden crash surprised her, sending her phone out of her hand.

“Kyaaaaa~”

Suddenly Akire felt as though this was some school hallway. There were people staring as she fell down dramatically, her hair flowing majestically behind her.

She looked up and met with a face. If this was some dumb manga he’d be the new kid in school.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Oh no. He was hot.

The man helped her up. Akire felt all the blood rush to her cheeks as he did. His sapphire blue orbs twinkled, her reflection within them. His messy blue hair somehow flowed perfectly, cutely circling his face. Akire looked up further...were those...ears?

The man looked quite confused, “Akire-chan? Are you okay?”

Akire felt his hand touch her shoulder to check her condition. The touch sent tingles and shivers all over her body. Was this a good thing?

“Ah! Yes...arigatou...uhm...”

“Risru,” he finished for her.

It caught Akire off guard. “Ri..Risru-chan?”

He blinked – God (Isubokuro) even the way he blinked was perfect. His mouth pulled into a sweet smile, his teeth perfectly in line. “Yes, Akire-chan?”

Startled, Akire scurried back, tripping over her bottle of tea and falling onto the floor. “What...Risru...what happened!? WHAT!!???” She looked at him, now from a different perspective she noticed something. He didn’t have a shirt on! In fact, the only thing covering up his...member ( imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry ;)))))))))) was a random piece of cloth.

Akire turned her face away, not without a glance at his sculpted, fine, perfect abs. His six pack made her blush even more redder.

“Go put on a shirt! Or something!!” she demanded.

Risru quickly apologized and went to find one of Akire’s many oversized sweaters. He threw on Akire’s favourite MCR T-shirt and pulled his hair into a messy bu-

“What the fuck!! What the hell did you do with Risru-chan?? Give him back!” Akire somehow turned chibi and began hitting the full grown man with her fists like they did in the anime.

Risru laughed. His laugh was cute, admittedly. But...it’s not like she’d ever say that!!! Baka!!!!! The way his voice carried throughout the room, and sent warmth through her was nice. Akire would like to hear his laugh a lot.

Risru’s laugh was contagious. Akire found herself laughing as well.

“Kawaii,” he whispered, as if in awe.

“Eh???????????”

“You’re cute. Your smile is nice, I hope to see it more,” he said. “Yoroshiku onegaishimasu~~~” He bowed, showing off the cute, fluffy ears atop his head. But they were bad ears that were obviously made by an amateur furry artist because he also had his normal ears so he had four ears and it looked dumb.

Akire flushed EVEN harder. Her face was most certainly as red as Mafumafu-sama’s orbs. “Th-this still doesn’t explain what you did with Risru-chan!”

Risru scratched his head awkwardly, his ears twitching (the furry ones, not the human ones). “Well, I’m actually cursed by a great mage...” his tail swished sadly. “For 12 hours of the day I’m able to assume my normal form, for the other 12 I’ve been cursed to stay in the body of a-”

“Fox?”

“A human.”

Akire stared. “You...you’re supposed to be a fox?”

Risru looked extremely sad. He nodded.

“But...why would you want to be a fox?” Akire tried to ignore the very Shrek-Like Plot that Risru-chan had just presented to her.

Risru looked almost insulted. “The pets! The rubs! I’m so cute when I’m a fox, tons of people just wanna pet me. But after the curse I turned temperamental, that’s why I was so angry with all the staff at that store. Stupid human emotions.”

Akire just sighed, supposing that receiving physical affection was a good enough reason to want to be an animal. She supposed that being a fox also meant not having to go to school or work at all either.

“Akire?” he mother called up from the bottom of the stairs. “What are you yelling about up there??????”

Akire swore, “Risru-chan, you can’t be loud. I...I have to hide you! This is a secret, okay? You said for twelve hours?”

“Yeah from 8pm to 8am.”

“You can’t leave this room from those times. I promise I’ll take you out during the day when you’re a fox.” Akire bowed. “Hontou ni sumimasen!!!!”

Risru ruffled her hair, and smirked. “It’s okay, Akire-chan.”

***

The realization dawned upon Akire quite quickly. She had ordered Risru to stay in her room, and of course, that would mean he had to sleep in her room and well...

“Akire-chan, you’re wonderful, but I don’t want to sleep on tea stains! I want to be warm,” he pouted cutely.

There was only one bed.

Akire’s heart began to thump. No matter how much she tried to convince Risru to sleep on the floor, that she’d get fluffy pillows and sheets from elsewhere, he stubbornly refused it all.

“Aw c’mon! You get to wake up to a cute fox~” he teased.

Now, if this was a good story (or maybe this would actually make it better idk) Akire would realistically wake up at like 7 in the morning for her morning class (as a result, wake up to a Hot Man which honestly wouldn’t be too awful if youre like super thirsty or smt). But luckily, Akire-chan goes to ~~Animu School~~ so everything works out!!

Akire conceded, “Fine! But you have to sleep as far away from me as possible!”

And so they went to bed. Akire huddled into the far-left side, letting Risru spread out on the right. She tried desperately not to think of his cute grin and Rock Hard Biceps, eventually falling asleep.

Akire tossed and turned all night, feeling trapped in her sleep. At one point, she seemed to hit something in her sleep, eliciting a grunt from whatever she hit.

As promised, the next morning a small Kitsune was resting under her arm. His cute nose twitched in Risru-chan’s sleep. Akire slowly woke him up, and he yowled (I DON'T KNOW WHAT SOUND THEY MAKE IM SORRY) before climbing all over her for pets.

Wait...how did he get under her arm if he only recently turned into a fox??????

“I wonder...” Akire mused. “Oh well!! Maybe he was just cold.”

--Taimu skippu to 2 weeks later—

Akire how now been living with Risru for two weeks...you know what that means dear readers....fourteen nights................

It was Winter Break (for the sake of this story we’re not going to change the times despite it not really making sense, even though I could do it very easily tis FINE WHATEVER) !!! Akire usually never went away, so she was extremely excited to stay home and do Absolutely Nothing.

“Akire dear,” her mother called. “You’ll be alone for the next week okay??? I’m going on a trip with your father!!!!!!! Stay safe!!!”

Akire gasped. Her parents away for the entire time that meant....she turned to the small blue fox who was playing with one of her dogs – the one that liked Amatsuki.

She would be alone with Risru-chan for an entire week!!!!!!

So, you know EXACTLY what happened :))))))))))))))

AKIRE DID LOTS OF TWITCASTSS!!!!!!!

Sometimes Risru would join in, doing duets to songs like Myoujou Galactica and providing the Scream during Hibana since Akire couldn’t (yet).

“Twitcasting is really fun with you, Risru-chan,” Akire exclaimed. “Your voice is so nice,” she continued.

Risru noticed the expression on her face, the way her golden orbs seemed to lose their glow, and how her smile was turning upside down. “Eh, I think your voice is nicer though,” he said simply.

“Uso darou!!!!!!! There’s no way!!” Akire threw a pillow at him.

Risru threw the pillow back in response. This resulted in a full on pillow fight between the two of them. At one point, Risru managed to hit her right in the face, and she began to laugh.

“Kawaii......bishoujo.......deshu...”

“Baka!!! Urusai!!” Akire shouted. She shot the pillow back towards him. Eventually Risru tackled her, his bulging muscles stopping her from moving.

“I think you’re great at singing, and you’re very cute,” Risru whispered into her ear. He smelled like cigarettes and coffee (risru never touched either of those in his life but that's showbiz babey).

Akire found herself getting embarrassed from the words. “Baka!!!” she threw him off and dove into bed. Risru was still smirking when she peaked her head over.

And then he kabedon’ed her to the wall, suddenly he was wearing a leather jacket and his jawline was perfect, cutting. His orbs were an animal’s, rough and filled with passion, hunger. Using a deeper, throaty voice, he growled, “What’s up?” He flicked his head up and did the weird man-nod thing.

Akire smirked, “The sky.”

Risru almost pouted, “What!? You don’t...buy my Bad Boy Act??? This is so strange. NO ONE has ever resisted my charms!! This is a travesty!”

Akire flipped her hair, “I guess I'm not like other girls.”

Risru was now legally contracted to get Akire to fall under his cute charms so she could give him all the pets.

(this is the part in the wattpad fanfiction where things start taking a very dark and somewhat unexpected turn. If I cared to actually write it, it would go something like this:

“No!! You can’t take Risru away! He’s just like you and me!” Akire cried out desperately. But it was too late. The Furry Collectors had already muzzled the fox and were muttering amongst themselves.

Akire resolved that she would save Risru no matter what.

This would be the training montage and Akire would become very good at nearly everything in the span of about two months, including things like knife throwing, dodging, jiu-jitsu and maybe like wrestling or something. Definitely a badass with a sword or something.

Her trainer is an old man and she left a note to her parents explaining that she was on an exchange and they for some reason didn’t question it.

Akire stealthily made her way around the premises of the iron-clad building. She evaded all of the traps and managed to successfully beat up the guards outside.

Once inside, she located the control room, where she shut off all the power. Suddenly, all the furries began running out of their cages. Some of them were in human form, with tails and ears sticking out. Others were still animals, dogs, cats, and the like running away.

Akire threaded through the mass of furries, trying to find Risru.

“Risru-chan!” she called, running from room to room.

Eventually, she reached a room with very big doors that said “BOSS” on them.

“This must be the boss room,” she concluded.

The doors automatically opened, and Akire stepped inside. Immediately she saw Risru in his human form, stuck behind bars.

“Akire-chan!” he cried out. “You have to run, it’s not safe here.”

Akire’s orbs glinted with determination, “I’m not leaving here without you.”

“Well, well, well,” a low voice said from behind her. Akire turned and saw a figure emerge from the shadows. “Look what we have here.”

“Let him go!!” Akire drew her sword, holding it by her side. She charged at what seemed to be a slightly older man. His eyes flashed purple and he grinned, drawing two swords.

The two engaged in an epic fight, with Risru watching helplessly from the sides.

“Muahahahahah!!! You are a foolish little girl,” the man declared. “My project is almost complete. By midnight, your little fox’s worst dream will come true,” he sneered.

“No!” Akire shouted. She delivered a blow to his arm, knocking one of the swords out of the Villain’s hands.

“Yes! He will become a full human!!”

Akire gasped, her confusion stunning her for a moment. “YOU MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM!?” Risru howled from the side out of despair. Akire felt her heart growing heavy. Risru-chan didn’t deserve any of this!!

Fueled by anger, Akire pulled out her ultimate weapon, a shiny red button.

“I only wanted to save Risru-chan. But I can’t forgive you,” Akire said sternly. Her eyes were shaded by her bangs, and the shading around her pupils looked different to signify how serious she was getting.

Akire clicked the button she had and was suddenly enveloped in light. She was lifted into the air, and her eyes closed calmly. Suddenly, all of her clothing was being replaced with stuff that looked like it was from an idol game, her hair was being done up, and her sword was growing bigger.

Some random angel choir seemed to be singing one of her favourite songs, yet again.

“春と黒髪　夏の浅瀬　秋色の頬　冬は寝起きの悪い君も”

Akire turned all her attention on Villain-san and charged at him with her power. “You won’t get away with this!” she cried out.

The villain was overwhelmed, he screeched as Akire knocked him unconscious.

“ボクはボクはどれも好きだったよ”

Akire turned to Risru, who was still locked in the cage. She raised her hand and some weird magic energy flew out of it, blowing up a portion. Risru-chan ran out, meeting Akire for a hug.

“山紫水明　染まる君と　百花繚乱の日々よ　記憶の彼方へ”

Risru’s shirt was ripped, showing off his Rock Hard Abs. “I missed you so much Akire-chan.”

“Me too Risru-chan. I was so worried,” she exclaimed. “All my training, everything paid off.”

“I knew you could do it. After all, kimi wa boku no (pico) kawaii bishoujo desu.”

Akire’s chocolate orbs sparkled, “Of course, I’m not like other girls.” She threw on her favourite MCR sweatshirt, and threw her hair into a messy bu-

An alarm went off in the building. People were scattering, running around causing a panic. One scientist ran past them, “It’s gonna blow! Our great overlord has fallen!! Someone carry his body out!!”

“ずっと見惚れたい”

Risru held her hand and they ran out of the building, Akire’s magical girl appearance slowly falling, leaving her in the clothes she came in.

“ずっと触りたい”

They reached a window, but it was high up, at least four stories. “We’re going to have to jump,” Risru said, his voice trembling. “Hold onto me, okay Akire-chan?”

“さよなら　さよなら”

Risru leaped off of the building with inhuman skill (bcos he is a furry and anime logic) landing safely on the ground. The two quickly began to run.

Behind them the building was being ripped apart with white threads, slowly turning orange before the iron and metal makings broke, the explosion setting the nearby trees on fire. The sound and vibrations tore at their ears. Shrapnel from the bombs was flying everywhere, and the energy of the impact caused the forest to pulse.

For a time, Akire couldn’t hear. But she could feel the heat of the explosion as she ran away from it, Risru by her side.

“季節の”

It was pretty epic.

“折々にて”

Yeah I think it would go like that. And then after she’d return her magical girl button to her trainer and come back home as if nothing happened and they didn't just get rid of some furry-destroying organization. But in reality this would never finish bc wattpad writers have a hard time transitioning from slice-of-life to action and their action scenes usually suck no offense)

--taimu skippu to less than a year later—

“Surprise!!!!! Otanjoubi omedetou!!!!!!!!” Risru exclaimed.

From behind his back, he pulled out a small gift that was horribly wrapped. Akire guessed that the fox did his best, but if he wasn’t allowed to leave during the night...he definitely wrapped it in fox form.

Akire unwrapped the box, inside was a microphone.

“Ri-Risru-chan....” she teared up.

The boy’s ears twitched with excitement.

“How did you even buy this?”

Risru smirked, “Don’t worry about the details! Hatsutoukou o tanoshimi ni shitemasu!!!!!!”

~ and they lived happily ever after ~

:)) i hope you enjoyed that. please dream about buff risru who's plot revolves around shrek and anime and wattpad. thank u for hitting up my inbox so you could drag me further into utaite hell and i hope u get lots of albums

#do i even tag this as utaite #i really dont want to #this shouldnt plague the utaite tag #writing #my writing #CURSED #PLEASE DONT OPEN THIS #fanfic

[funginerd]

                             remember my thanksgiving list? this one is gonna be worse. yes you read right, im attempting this and i hope whoever sees this has a nice day and happy holidays. star tr.ek in more ways than i care to admit has shaped my life so to write paul and get back into the fandom felt like a fresh breeze while simultaneously it felt like coming home and i’m incredibly happy to be here again with such cool and kind folks like you all.                             basically, because german’s celebrate christmas on the 24th and we open our presents the same evening this might come as a pre-present to some of you but whatever. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, guys, under the cut is a long ass list from me to you to express just how grateful i am for you all to be here. i tried my best to include as many people as i could but of course, i sadly don't have the capacity to find kind words for all of my beauty followers but please be aware - and i might repeat myself but it doesn't make it less true - i love you all and im thankful you’re here with me.

in no particular order bc fuck me that's too much work (also wow jelly told me it was stupid to keep my conversations in tabs but tbh never really closing them really helped me here)

@infiinitepossibilities : im glad we started talking more. before i just knew you as this amazing multimuse writer who had all their muses down perfectly but now im getting to know you as an amazing person as well and that's just incredibly cool

@hcndlehim : adam, my dear boy adam. i love you. through many fandoms and over the course of many blogs we have stayed together and i can honestly say that is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. you’re such a delight to talk to and your writing has such a nice flow, so having you as my friend and writing partner for so long has just ?? made my a lot happier than you know

@culberr  / @disciipled : i have time and time again told you i love your writing and i have no idea if oyu think im kidding when i say i show it off but some of my friends can confirm i did actually send stuff to them and i do gush about our amazing writing because i cannot get enough of your style (and oyu bc i lub u). your way of telling things just has such a nice and easy flow that it makes me want to never stop reading your things and we’re lvl 5 friends so when i say i hate how much i love everything you do im not lying. you are amazing and talented and such a nice guy like im still stocked to be able to call you that and not weird you out with that. i just ?? adore you

@stamcts : some people say my aesthetic is on point but they obviously have never seen your blog bc arthur? i love every single post you make. i have seen your ic posts, they’re great and your writing is beyond amazing so ?? let it be known i adore you and im jealous of your skills to dig up cool things on the internet. and ur writing skill, fuck you for that.

@lifedeathpeacewar : leo my boi, my friend,i just cannot tell you how easily i fall in love with people who stan the same people i stan and lets be honest i think you love him more than i do but that's okay bc this way i can focus some of my love on you. im one of the people that say i love duplicates but then only follow two idk why im just that weird but i know you’re doing great with my son and i know you’re doing even  better with mark and lets be honest i already know you’re gonna be great with lucas as well bc you’re great with everything that you put your mind to and i envy you for that.

@orbinglight : i tried for your birthday already to express how much i love you but in no language the world has to offer there are enough words to really make it known just how much you really mean to me. im not as poetic as you are when it comes to praising and finding the right way to phrase things for you, so i just have to hope that you know - through all my clumsy attempts of telling you - just how near and dear to my heart you are. at this point you’re truly the person with the most beautiful soul i have ever met online or irl and i just cannot stand the thought of one day maybe not having you anymore because damn you’re gorgeous and amazing and talented and in so many ways the best thing that has happened to me on this blue hellsite

@selflessdoctor : i kinda wanna say see above bc for you too i feel all these things even though i dont always tell them as outright as i list them for artie but you’re important to me, having found you and somehow forced you into talking to me and becoming my friend was one of the best ideas i ever had and ? im so glad you let me - this odd girl you never met before - stick around and harras you. not really you know what i mean but like ?? i love you and i know i don't say that often enough but just let it be known you’re fucking perfect okay.

@turrissomnia  : three god damn blog changes and you know what ? i still love you, im still impressed by your TOS knowledge and im still absolutely adoring your portrayals. now its just even more muses you’re nailing its really cool to watch tbh.

@bellicaptivus : i honestly dont understand your fascination with strudel but im here for it and im here for your absolute magnificent portrayal of this boi so stay awesome, stay here with us and ?? don’t change bc i absolutely adore you

@adheretologic : i probably mentioned this before but you were the first disco blog i ever followed, like i think you came before adam and i still very much love seeing you on my dash

@kelpiencomplexities : i wish we knew each other better, i wish i would see your writing but man, i just love you in general idk you just are such a delight, like you introduced yourself with a pun thats always a plus in my book im just ?? very happy to have you around friend you’e really cool

@georgiov : im extremely thankful for your patience, you somehow have managed to explain the basics of SW to me without losing your mind and all that while running an amazing disco blog? you’re and im running out of positive words but like you’re the best and i love you okay

@starxbcrn : you are so iconic its unfair, like look at you having all of this creativity and talent and somehow you always come back to your golden boi, i just ?? cannot not tell you how much you inspire me and how much i love seeing you around without having to use the thesaurus

@astromed : you aesthetic: on point. your mccoy: on point. your writing: unfairly amazing. i’ll be honest i like looking at your posts, i like reading your posts, i like just having you on my dash and from the few interactions we had i know you’re a cute bean. i said it before you got recommended to me by a friend and i cannot ever regret following you

@neverarhyme : call me a nerd but i love you and im very grateful we’ve managed to stick together through me ignoring your messages and you being you for two years already but you’ve somehow become one of my best friends on this website and i don't hate you for it. in fact im time and time again amazed at how oyu handle things, at how developed ver is and how you still manage to surprise me even tho so much time ahas passed.

@theharricr : lizzie, lizzie, lizzie, you are my light sometimes, i just ? i just absolutely love you, no strings attached i love talking to you, i love watching things with you just ?? being able to call you a friend is honestly making me so happy time and time again

@jaylahofussfranklin : you’re one of the people who sometimes pop up and sometimes vanish without a trace and honestly every time you  come back to me im very happy about it. like - you’re cool, you’re one of my oldest friends here, probably the only german i want to talk to on this website and idk if i ever told you but your jaylah and your sarah are just fucking perfect.

@friendoftheood : honestly every time we talk you’re just the cutest bean and your grasp on rose is absolutely admirable. i have no idea why you think im worthy of having you follow me but im so grateful to have you around you can’t imagine

@cadetxtilly : you are honestly a bucket of sunshine and your tilly just absolutely makes me happy. she is very on point, she is very adorable and you convey every single aspect of her perfectly. your headcanons and ic posts about her just ?? make it really worth following you

@atomiism : would still 10/10 drop my man for you but real talk? when i rp’ed as ray and saw you and your blog and your writing i was ready to just completely give this boy over to you and what you have done with him since then is magical, i cannot believe someone as talented as you is here and likes me. even after so mayn months im still blown away by having met you, by knowing the face behind the brain that knows all these pretty words and can string them together like damn my darling dear you are perfect in every single way <3

@burnedlegend : you truly are a very special specimen. obv not in a bad way i mean i fucking love you but in a way that you’re so unique even though you’re sometimes a mess i can honestly say im looking forward to seeing you grow and be happy in your life bc already you have a fantastic personality and a kind soul and you’re so refreshing to talk to (when u fucking answer) idk if i have told you lately, probably not bc lets face it i suck as well, but i adore you and i value your friendship and i’ll always be here if you need me. you’re great no matter what anyone says, bc you’re you and i love that man that i have come to know over the course of this year bc he is such a passionate disaster and i wouldn’t want you to stop being you for anything in the world.

@revivedlegend : you’re an absolute dear, you have been there for me in tough times and you’ve given me so many great advice i honestly don't know what i would do without you. i know life is hard and i know people say it gets better but sometimes it doesn’t look that way? listen, you’re perfect and you deserve good things and im absolutely positive that you’ll reach great things, that life will be beautiful for you but until then im here for you and i love you with all of my heart and some that i borrowed from gabe. you are amazingly creative even if you dont see that right know but i have always loved your portrayals, your writing and your devotion to the things you love. christina you’re fantastic, okay. <3

@warsighted  : i love you, i hate your penname but i love everything else about you. listen, from the way you approach characters to the way your characterise them and the way you plot and the way you get excited about things. i love all of that. you’re incredible and so nice on top of being stupidly talented. its honestly unfair thank god you’re balancing that out with a weird penname xD

@outlawiism : how can i make this list and not say something nice about you? kinda not an option tbh bc you’re this amazing ball of positivity even when times are rough its just magical to see you on my dash and now that we talk again its just making me want to be the best version of myself so i can spread just as much positivity and make people happy and honestly? all that aside your love and devotion to peter is one of a kind, your writing is flawless and i just hope ?? one day you’re gonna archive your dreams and do the things you want and tbh you deserve cool things happening to you. so knock on wood for that!

@srenity & @courtesn : sorry im throwing you both together like this but liten, i’ve loved your inara before and im incredibly happy you’re back and now seeing the both of you play this otp out is something i hadn’t known i needed bc you’re not just beautifully on point but you’re both carrying the fandom with your fantastic writing its just making me love firefly so much more thanks to you two <3

@snowinabottle : you’re cute, your girl is cute, your blog is cute, your aesthetic is cute idk maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't but im not the best with words i just ? don't know how i should tell you but i like having you around and i like seeing you on my dash and i just like you in general okay? okay

@stellaexlacrima : im always weak for ocs even tho sometimes it takes me a while to get to know them and im sorry we didnt start talking sooner bc now that i know you i cannot believe i was so blind to your genius for so long. honestly? i love you, i loved plotting with you, i loved talking to you and im absolutely positive i will love writing with yoou no matter how slow i am. im absolutely excited for our thread, im excited for orange people and weird caves and wicked plant sutff bc i a excited to let paul have this adventure with anika

@multamusae : you are one of the people on this website who somehow manage to be very productive and as much as it sometimes makes me feel funny very often i look at your blog and im just astonished by the sheer amount of work and effort you put into everything. you are incredible, you’re so cool and your ocs give me all the life, i originally followed you for your mycroft and im still here it feels like years have passed and you’re still this amazingly talented writer from so long ago please don't ever change in that way.

@childzerozeronine : we don’t talk often enough and that is partially my fault and partially yours but let it be known im very happy that we did eventually started talking after so long of just loving artie together. nine is one of the best stranger thangs ocs i have ever seen and we both know for a while you couldn't look anywhere without them but she is amazing and i love her and i love you and im sorry im not the best chat partner

@derbefehl : we honestly have never talked but i feel very much drawn towards you for you have shown a great taste in muse, a great taste in ivan and you’re just all around ? really cool to have on my dash? i really like your writing like damn that's some good stuff you have right there

@chosemypain : i know we never talked but jelly is really loving your portrayal and honestly that’s good enough for me, you have shown great taste in show and muse and im all here for your brilliance tbh 

@espressovixen / @brokenspy : vicky my dear, im sorry im not on jayne so it might be confusing but it is i, your local disappointment: dottie. can i just take a moment and tell you: you’re probably one of my favourite writers? like idk if you can tell but i have seen so many people, i’ve seen so many different writings styles and yours is just ? outstanding to me. your love and passion for your girls is magical, your personality is so sweet and kind and i ? cannot believe how lucky i am to call you a friend, i’ve literally been in love with your writing like four blogs ago already.

@fasciinating : you are probably one of the first spocks i EVER found and honestly i can’t believe i got so lucky that you follow me back, i swear whenever i see you on my dash im just blown away by your talent and portrayal 

@methodcop : over different blogs and fandoms neither of us is in im very glad we seem to keep finding each other over and over again. you truly are one of these people that you just ?? don't feel right not having on the dash, skye you’re amazing and i love you okay? okay

@rendczvous : fish, im sorry you’re last on this list and i wasn’t sure if i should even say something but honestly i just kind of have to. you are so cute and jelly loves you so much i sorta have to be thankful that you put up with her when im not around and honestly that in itself is a feat already but then you write and its just like woah you’re not just cute but also talented and honestly i find that unfair and i would like to file a complaint

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST EVEN MORE AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND I LOVE YOU ALL EVEN THO WE NEVER TALKED THE AMOUNT OF TALENT ON THIS LIST IS OVERWHELMING TURNING CAPSLOCK OFF IS IMPOSSIBLE BC I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT THIS:

@newaldera / @sunworn / @noprodigalson (ur a cutie and i feel like i had to mention that here) / @selfsaving / @stellarumwomen / @monstrousmade / @resistancehistorian / @astradie / @chpls / @seeheroic / @livesinnarrative / @hopefired / @danversiism / @dancerdoc /  @acepilct / @starshipxcaptain / @starfleets1stmutineer / @pcrsonae / @spacemarincr / @saevio / @starjourney / @theholisticdetective / @paramounticebound / @ichorcrowncd / @abscntee / @boywonderish & @needanswers (im convinced you two are just the real deal and the hsow never ended like you two really are that good) / @boldlylogical / @aprettygooddetective / @amcrist / @enhanc / @mysticwiitch / @coneyislandcastaway / @daredbetter / @atlantisking / @164 / @zooomies / @xenobridge / @thistimefeelsnew / @chaxswalking / @hisgenius / @verycivilofyou / @five-guns-days / @interstel / @superiorambition / @thedestrcyer / @astrcphobia / @admiralsdontfly / @addsalsa / @sempitern / @heroheart / @thexjoinedxsurgeon / @xaedificare / @quietresistance / @falsepsychiic / @gcdlikc / @makeshistory / @positronicminds / @honoredsouls / @zherka / @samenkomen / @spaceforkirk / @definiibus / @captainussdiscovery / @mavxricks <3 / @ofstarrynights /  @1stofficerspock / @humanandvulcan / @nxtasidekick / @dutyandcompassion

wow. ehm happy holidays guys and im so sorry if i have missed anyone i truly tired my best.

#&「 sᴘᴀᴄᴇ ɪɴ ɢᴀʏs 」. ( ooc ) #(the gigantic holidays bias list nobody asked for)

[watchmegetobsessed]

Different - Adam Sackler (pt. 5)

OMG thank you so much for all the kind words and love you’ve showed to this series, you made me so happy! as i said, this story sits close to my heart so i’m very happy that so many of you enjoyed it! this is officially the last part of this series so thank you for reading, but i think i will surely write more about Sackler bc im just OBSESSED with him. so follow me or ask me to put you on my Adam taglist if you’d like to read more from me!

series summary: Hannah lets you move in with her and Adam as you are her second cousin and in need of a place to live. Your relationship with Adam starts rocky, but things soon seem to be taking a turn.

pairing: Adam Sackler x Reader

❗️ WARNING: SMUT!❗️

word count: 5k

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4

masterlist

If you had to specify the worst period in your life, you’d point to the three months that followed that one hell of a day, without hesitation. You never in your life would have thought you’d end up this hurt, because you somehow always thought you’d have Adam. But you didn’t, because you decided to push him away and even though it broke you in every possible way, you still told yourself it was the right decision to make. The only one you thought you’d made in a while.

He tried to call you hundreds of times for a week after everything that has happened, but you declined all of his calls, and if he left you a voicemail, you just deleted it without even listening, because you knew if you heard his voice that would just make it even harder. You wanted to call him a lot of times, when you were questioning if you’ve made the right decision, your fingers lingered over his contact in your phone several times, but you never called.

For obvious reasons Hannah broke all contact with you and you couldn’t blame her. You deserved everything you got from her and maybe even more. Her words burnt into your mind and you found yourself repeating them in your thoughts quite often, as if your consciousness wanted you to remember how horrible of a person you are. Not that it wasn’t true, to be honest.

It took you three months to somewhat settle down and be able to continue with your everydays after everything that has happened. But it doesn’t mean you forgot any of it. That void Adam left in you was still there, you just learned to ignore it and pretend like you don’t miss him every day of your life.

Tyler quit after the incident with you, being the clever grown man that he is, so at least you had one less thing to worry about. But your days started to blur into one big mess. It took you long to actually try to pull yourself out of this slumber-like state. What really helped you is that you started taking yoga classes. Twice a week you took one hour to yourself, to connect with yourself and do something for your own good.

There’s a juice bar near the studio where you go and you are heading there right now as well, dreaming about a freshly pressed green juice. Walking in you are welcomed by the tiny bells above the door and the sound brings a smile to your face as you stand in line.

When you finally get your juice and pay for it turning around you look for an empty table where you can peacefully read through your emails until you finish your juice, but you stop breathing for a second when your eyes meet a familiar gaze.

“Hannah,” you breathe out as she is looking right back at you from a table in the corner. She has her phone in her hands and a sandwich with a red juice on the table.

“Want to sit?” she offers and for a moment you feel like this is a trap. “Come on, I’m not gonna scream at you I promise,” she chuckles taking her bag away from the empty chair at the table and you take the seat shyly.

“Thank you. I didn’t know you come here.”

“I don’t. I was just in the neighborhood and got hungry,” she shrugs looking down at her half eaten sandwich.

There is a long, awkward silence between the two of you and you have no idea what you should say. The last time you saw her she was basically cursing you out for stealing her boyfriend, but now she seems cool with being around you, which is quite surprising to you.

“So, it’s been long since we last saw each other, huh?”

“Yeah,” you nod, a thousand things on your mind that you want to say, but none of them really comes out. So then you say that one thing that obviously needs to be said. “Hannah, I’m so sorry for everything then went down. I don’t know what has gotten into me, I honestly didn’t want to hurt you, that was never my intention.”

“I know,” she nods with a warm smile and you are more than surprised by her reaction.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” she chuckles. “Look I’m not saying that what you did was right and that I wasn’t supposed to be mad at you, because it was pretty fucked up, I hope you see that. But I lashed out on you a little too hard and not even for the right reason. I mean, when Adam accidentally dropped that you two have kissed, my mind went into chaos pretty fast.”

“That’s the normal reaction to finding out such thing.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t mad because you kissed. I mean, kissing is not even that big of a deal, I have kissed Elijah several times when I was dating other men. Now I know that he is gay, but you get the point, right?”

You just nod, thinking you are following her trail of thoughts though you’re not sure where she is heading with it.

“I was hurt that you two had feelings, I’ll admit that. I wasn’t expecting it to happen, but I’m mature enough to know that it’s not really something you have control over. I mean, I couldn’t control my feelings when Adam and I were just casually sleeping together and I fell for him. I didn’t mean that to happen, but it did!” she chuckles and you crack a smile as well. “Listen,” she sighs laying her hands out on the table. “I’m sorry for calling you disgusting, that was a little… too over the top.”

“Honestly, I think you had every right,” you sigh shaking your head.

“No,” she sighs. “The main reason why I was mad was because… I wasn’t the one who pulled the plug.”

You stare at her for a few moments, confused by what she meant by those words.

“I’m sorry?”

“Yeah, you heard it right. I wanted to be the one to break up with Adam and it bothered me that I ended up being dumped. It hurt my ego, because I was very sure I’d be the one to just end it and walk away like this badass, independent woman, but my breakup plan didn’t go as planned. When I went home that day with the pure intention of breaking up with him we quickly got into a fight and Adam just blurted it out, that he has feelings for you and that you already kissed and he wants to break up, right before I could say it so he took my chance. I didn’t get to be the one who ended it and it bothered me way more than it should have.”

“Hannah…”

“I’m sorry for being a bitch, it was really unnecessary. It still doesn’t change the fact that you fucked my boyfriend,” she adds pointing at you.

“Oh, I didn’t fuck him,” you shyly correct her and genuine surprise shows on her face.

“Really? Because I thought Adam just didn’t want to make me angrier and that’s why he said you just kissed.”

“No. When the kiss happened I felt so ashamed that I told him that nothing can happen until you and him are not officially done. I know it doesn’t make the whole situation better, but I wasn’t gonna be that girl who sleeps with someone else’s boyfriend.”

“Huh,” she huffs to herself, rearranging her whole viewing of what has happened. “Okay, this makes it a little better, still fucked up, but not that much.”

“Good to know. Not that it changes anything, but… yeah.”

“So you really haven’t talked to Adam since then,” she figures from the way you look.

“Did you?”

“I did,” she nods and you raise your eyebrows at her. This conversation is full of surprises. “We met about a month ago at Ray’s birthday. At first we were awkwardly avoiding each other, but then he actually came up to me and apologized.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. Following that, we had a nice talk and I can really tell the guy is suffering.”

“What?” you whisper, feeling your heart immediately breaking.

“He didn’t take it well that you shut him out. And I’m not just saying this because this is what I think. He straight up told me. He told me all about how he hasn’t felt like himself ever since you didn’t let him into your place that night.”

“He told you about that?” you glance away from her. You weren’t expecting her to know so many details.

“Yeah. He really thinks he ruined you.”

“Ruined me?”

“Y/N, Adam is wired differently. He took it like he was to blame for everything and that you blame him for how everything turned out to be.”

“I’m blaming myself, not him.”

“I told him that this is probably what you think, but he would never believe it if it’s not coming from you.”

You sit there in silence, because you don’t know what you could say. You feel horrible knowing Adam has been suffering since your parting, but you still haven’t changed your mind. There’s no way Adam and you could ever make it work between the two of you, you could never do that to Hannah.

“I know what you are thinking,” Hannah speaks up pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’re thinking that you can’t be with Adam because it’s not right.”

“This is the truth. I did enough harm with my stupidity.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you got together with him.” “What?” you look at her with wide eyes. Is this a trap?

“Honestly, I’m over it. Despite everything that happened, I love you and I obviously love Adam in some way and it hurts me to see both of you like this. If it’s my blessing that’s holding you back, you have it.”

“But do you actually mean it?”

“I genuinely do. I’m working on being less selfish, something I’ve been told to be quite a lot lately and I think this is a right step towards that. I don’t really have a real reason to bring up why I shouldn’t let you be happy. It would be an egoistic move from me to watch you both suffer when I could easily help. I was over Adam when it all happened, we distanced way before that, this whole thing hurt me in a different way that has nothing to do with you or him. Would it be strange at first? Of course, but I’ve seen and been through stranger things in my life, so I’m not surprised anymore.”

This conversation has truly taken some surprising turns and you would have never thought that by the end of the day you’d have such a relief on the one thing that’s been weighing down on you for so long.

The two of you stay there in the juice bar for another hour or so, just talking and reconnecting, smoothing everything out that’s been building up in yourself through the months spent apart. She brings you the change you couldn’t give yourself and it finally pushes you out of this hell of a circle you’ve been running in for too long.

It takes you an entire week to build your courage up to face Adam. When you leave to his place that evening you’re not even sure if he still lives there, but you decide to take the chance and if it turns out that he has moved, you’ll take it as a sign that you weren’t supposed to meet him.

As you stand at the door silently, you wonder if he is on the other side. If he looks the same or if something has changed on him. Did he get a haircut? Did he maybe shave? Does he even want to see you? The questions keep flowing in and out of you until you just stop thinking and force yourself to knock on the door.

You hear shuffling from inside and then the door flies open and there he is, standing right in front of you in a pair of dark jeans and grey t-shirt, staring down at you with the most surprised look you’ve ever seen on his handsome face.

“Hey,” you shyly greet him with a small smile.

“Hey. Wha-what are you doing here?”

“I uhh—I wanted to talk to you. Is it not a good time for you?” you ask suddenly feeling like you are bothering him, after all, you just showed up unannounced, he might have plans or company over. Your stomach churns at the thought of the latter.

“No! Come in!” he shakes his head realizing he hasn’t even invited you in. He closes the door behind you and running ahead he collects some abandoned clothes from the floor and couch so you can sit down. You just smile at him as he throws them into his bedroom before joining you.

“So what’s up?”

“I… I met Hannah the other day.”

“Mm,” he hums, curiously waiting for the rest of the story.

“We talked about a lot of things and we kind of reconciled which was very nice and needed. And she told me about things I didn’t know, the reason why she lashed out so hard on me a-and that she met you a while ago.”

“Yeah, we ran into each other at Ray’s birthday,” he nods confirming the information you got from her.

“She said that you didn’t take well what happened… between us.” You glance at him and his gaze is just so intense, it’s making you feel a lot more anxious than you already are.

“I mean… Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, it’s been pretty fucked up for me.”

“I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For… making you believe that I was blaming you for everything. It was never true, I blamed myself for what happened. I thought that I failed not just Hannah but you as well and that I deserve to be left alone and suffer the consequences of my own actions.”

“Fuck, Y/N, you know we were in this together, why would you blame it all on yourself?” he sighs, frustrated to find out about your feelings.

“Why would you blame it all on yourself?” you repeat his words, feeling like it’s relevant to ask the same thing from him. “We both made mistakes.”

“Yeah,” he nods pressing his lips together into a thin line.

“I’m sorry for not letting you in that night, but I really thought I don’t deserve the smallest happy thing in my life after hearing Hannah lash out on me.”

“You were really driving me crazy. You didn’t even give me a chance to actually talk to you, just shut me out right away.”

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do to change the past,” you say chuckling lightly. He nods in agreement. “Hannah told me some other things too.”

“Like what?”

“That she doesn’t want either of us to stay miserable and if she is the only person standing between us she is giving us her blessing.”

Adam sucks on his breath as the conversation just took a sudden turn he was hoping to happen, but didn’t think it would really.

“So… What does this mean?” he nervously asks and you find it adorable how this huge man, full of muscle and masculinity can look like the cutest creature on Earth.

“Adam, I’m sorry for the way I reacted back then, but I had a lot of time to think and my conversation with Hannah really put things into their place.”

“Alright,” he nods.

“And I think that… If you still want to, we can… give it a try. Give us a try,” you finally say and you see his eyes brightening up immediately, as the corners of his mouth curl up.

“Is this for real? You’re not just fucking with me, right?” he asks gasping and you can’t help but chuckle at his genuine reaction.

“I’m not fucking with you, Adam,” you say shaking your head.

You watch him let his head fall back as his fits fly into the air.

“Fuck yes!” he happily shouts before quickly bouncing back and cupping your face in his hands he kisses you the way he has imagined so many times since the first time your lips touched.

You let the sensation take over your whole body as your hands grip onto his broad shoulders while his hands slide down to your waist and he gently pulls you until you are sitting on his lap, knees on each sides of his, bodies pressed together.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes out, burying his face into your neck as you hold him tight, fingers laced through his hair, just taking the moment in, embracing every emotion as it is, letting them flowing through your body, right into him.

The heat of the moment quickly turns into something sentimental and moving, everything crashing down on you at once and you just let yourself experience it the way it comes to you.

“I really thought I lost you forever,” he mumbles against your skin, placing soft kisses below your skin. “Swear to God if you dare to do it again, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind,” he chuckles making you laugh as well while the damn tears start forming in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” you breathe out lifting his head and brushing his hair out of his face you just stare into his eyes, those beautiful, hazel eyes you’ve missed so much. “But I’m here now.”

“Yes you are,” he grins before kissing you again.

His lips tug on yours, taking his time with you, while his hands run up and down on your body, exploring every bit of it, but he doesn’t move further. He doesn’t try to take your clothes off or push it and you find it very comforting and securing that he still remembers the things you talked about months ago. But you feel like you are more than comfortable with him to take this next step.

“Adam,” you mumble against his lips, your hands sliding down to his stomach where you grab the hem of his shirt.

“Yeah?”

“You can… You can go for it.”

Stopping he leans back so he can look into your eyes, looking for any sign that tells him he shouldn’t, but you just smile at him shyly.

“Are you sure? Because I’m completely fine with doing nothing, just… lying in bed and being with you.”

“I’m completely sure,” you say pecking his lips shortly. He seems uncertain as you pull his shirt up, but he holds his arms up and lets you undress him, tossing the shirt to the side before laying your palms out on his chest.

Then slowly but surely he gets into action. His hands reach under your thighs and he stands up with you in his arms, carrying you into his bedroom and laying you down to his bed, getting on top of you. His large hands fumble with the small buttons of your shirt, but you reach down to help him and a moment later the shirt is gone and he is pulling your pants down before undoing his own jeans.

You feel secure and comfortable with him, but it’s still a challenging moment regarding of your general anxiety. When he looks down at your body that’s only covered by your lingerie you feel insecure about it and he quickly realizes it.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathes out as he gets on top of you, kissing you sweetly. “Fucking gorgeous,” he smiles before kissing every inch of your face, making you giggle.

Your lips reconnect and soon the rest of your clothes are gone, leaving both of you naked under his sheets.

“Just tell me when something doesn’t feel good, okay?” he asks after he rolls a condom on and you nervously nod. “Hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he assures you seeing how nervous you are.

“I want to, I’m just… I don’t want it to be disappointing to you,” you say quietly.

“That’s impossible. You can never disappoint me, I could come just by looking at you naked,” he jokes making you laugh.

“Oh, so how come you haven’t finished yet?” you ask smirking at him.

“I’m really struggling to hold myself back. You can’t fucking imagine,” he grins kissing you gently. “Don’t think about me, think about yourself. I’m pretty fucking sure what feels good for you will feel amazing to me as well.”

You just nod your head licking your lips as he reaches between you and him and positions himself to your center. He looks you in the eyes one last time, as if he is asking for the final permission and when you nod, brushing his hair out of his forehead, with one slow but confident push he is inside you.

You gasp at the feeling, given the fact that it’s been so long since you’ve been with someone and he is pretty gifted when it comes to his length. But he lets you take your time to adjust to the feeling, staying still and peppering your face with gentle kisses.

“Y-You can move,” you tell him quietly.

“Sure?”

“Yeah,” you nod and moving your hands to the back of his neck you let out a moan as he slowly starts rocking his hips back and forth.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he growls into your neck.

At first it feels a little uncomfortable and strange, but you start to loosen up and do what Adam told you; just focus on yourself. Pulling your legs up you let him hit a way better angle, making you moan as he thrusts inside you and you slowly start to find what feels the best for you.

“You good?” he asks breathing heavily and you just nod, biting into your bottom lip as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Do you want to switch it up?”

“Like… me on top?” you ask unsurely.

“It’s an option.” “Um, yeah,” you say, trying to keep your confidence as he wraps an arm around you and carefully flips the two of you over, so you are now sitting on him. You start moving your hips, not too sure what you should really be doing.

“Relax, just do whatever feels good for you,” he comforts you, his hands holding onto your hips as he gently starts guiding you, giving you a direction to start.

It takes a few seconds to finally find what you enjoy the most and when you do, you just go for it.

“Yes, fuck!” he moans, his head sinking into the pillow. Reaching up his hands cup your breasts as you buck your hips up and down, taking up the pace that feels just right.

“Adam,” you moan his name, hands on his chest as you keep moving, feeling your orgasm building up inside you.

“Yeah, you’re doing so fucking great,” he groans, thrusting his hips up matching your rhythm and you whimper from the feeling.

He pushes himself up into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around your body, your hands on his bare shoulders as you just keep moving and panting, your cheek pressing against his. Turning he kisses your jawline, one hand sliding down to your ass, the other one up into your hair at the back of your head.

“Fuck,” he growls and you know he is close, but so as you.

You pick your pace up, desperate for release, you let your head fall back and his lips meet the soft skin on your neck, kissing down on your throat and the moment his fingers dig into your skin at your ribcage you explode.

“Fuck!” you gasp, falling out of your rhythm as your orgasm washes over your body. You hear Adam grunting as he thrusts a couple more times before he comes as well.

Your panting fills the silence in the room in the next few seconds as you come back down from your high, eyes turning back to Adam who is already looking at you in awe.

“What?” you shyly ask.

“And you thought you would disappoint,” he grins kissing your shoulder. “You fucking… sex goddess.”

“Stop!” you chuckle, leaning down you kiss him softly, the raw passion is gone and replaced by a deeper, sensational feeling.

“You don’t regret it, right?” he asks a little later when the two of you are lying next to each other on your sides, facing each other, his hand playing with yours on the pillow.

“No, of course not,” you smile as he laces his fingers together with yours and pulling your hand to his lips he places a chaste kiss to the back of your hand.

“Alright. Good.”

“This is so crazy,” you exhale softly, watching him in awe.

“What’s crazy?”

“How this all turned out to be. So different from what I imagined.”

“What did you originally imagine?” he asks with a curious smirk on his full lips.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” you admit chuckling. “But not this for sure.”

His hand reaches out and he pulls you closer to him, legs tangling together as he kisses the tip of your nose, making you smile.

“Well, this is our life now. You are stuck with me.”

“What a tragedy,” you tease him, earning him to squeeze your hip gently. “The greatest tragedy of all times,” you add making him chuckle.

Making yourself comfortable in his arms you feel your eyelids getting heavier with each blink. Kissing his lips softly one more time you let them close and stay closed as Adam kisses your forehead.

“Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up,” he whispers and you open your eyes looking at him, seeing that need for validation in his eyes.

“I’m here to stay, don’t worry,” you reassure him before you let your eyes close again and this time, you slowly drift to sleep, feeling his fingers gently caressing your side until the very last moment you’re awake.

 You smile to yourself upon hearing the front door open and close and when you see Adam walk in a moment later you get up from your bed to greet your boyfriend the proper way on his birthday.

“Hey,” you smile at him kissing his lips softly.

“Hi, I missed you,” he grins giving your ass a gentle squeeze before letting go of you and walking over to your bed he throws himself onto it with a tired sigh.

“How was your day?”

“Just the usual, nothing extra. The guys on set got me a cupcake,” he chuckles to himself.

“That’s cute,” you say crawling onto the bed, thinking about how adorable he would look like with a tiny cupcake compared to his size.

Reaching over to your nightstand you grab the white envelope you’ve had prepared for him, his name written on it in cursive to make it look fancy.

“Happy birthday,” you hand it to him with an excited smile.

“Y/N, I told you no gifts!” he looks at you with narrow eyes. He really did say he doesn’t want anything for his birthday, just to be with you, the only person he is interested in as he said. But you just couldn’t contain yourself and you had a funny idea about his gift.

“I know, but it’s not really a gift. It’s just… something I owe you.”

“Is this a pair of your panties?” he jokes and you just shake your head at him laughing.

“Just open it!”

He gives you a puzzled look as he opens the envelope and looks inside. He pulls out the twenty and five dollar bills with an even more confused look as he holds them up while you just giggle to yourself.

“What is this supposed to be?”

“This is the twenty-five bucks you paid me when we went out with Hannah. I felt like I should pay you back.”

“But why?”

“Because… I would rather not have you paying for a moment in our relationship that was kind of significant.”

“We really bonded that night, huh?” he chuckles placing a hand on your thigh as he puts the money and the envelope away. “Did you think we would end up here back then?”

“Not then. But I was already having thoughts about you.”

“Me too,” he admits smiling.

It’s kind of crazy thinking back at that day now, two months into your relationship with him, it all feels so surreal. You’ve definitely come a long way from ignoring each other in the apartment to being so madly in love.

Leaning closer he kisses you softly, his hand holding your chin tenderly.

“I love you,” he whispers and a wide smile stretches across your face. It’s not the first time he said it, but every time feels like the first, making your heart flip in your chest, completely whipped for this tall, weird but so amazing man you get to call your boyfriend.

“I love you too,” you mumble back before he grabs you by your waist and a moment later you are lying on the mattress, him on top of you, kissing down on your neck.

“Babe?” he asks stopping at your chest, looking up at you from under his dark eyelashes.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask for one thing for my birthday?”

“Sure,” you smile down at him, curious about what he wants.

“I want to fuck you on the kitchen counter,” he bluntly states, and you just chuckle, combing his hair with your fingers.

Rolling off the bed you just walk over to the kitchen counter pushing the boxes and plates to the side before hopping onto the top and crossing your leg seductively, smirking at him while he is still on your bed, watching you completely amazed by you.

“Well, happy birthday to you, big boy,” you say in a low tone and it drives him crazy immediately. Jumping off the bed he rushes over to you, uncrossing your legs so he can stand between your knees.

“Best fucking birthday ever,” he grins before pressing his lips to yours.

-

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[bartsugsy]

then why would you want aaron to be with him? or do you not like aaron either?

Aksjsjsks oh u know me anon, a true aaron hater 😂😂😂

im dying

WELCOME TO MY TEDX TALK TBQH HERE WE GO

i think, i mean first of all, aaron obviously loves and wants to be with robert, but can’t be at the moment because there’s a baby and also tbh because robert needs to get his god damn shit together

aaron… clearly doesn’t care that much about the immorality behind the shit robert pulls. aaron’s morals are sort of just as fucked up - in mean, they met THROUGH CRIME. they’re both sort of awful. rob is a lot more shameless about it but aaron robbed home farm and kidnapped lachlan all by himself, for instance 😂 he’s a true dingle, that one. since they got back together, aaron’s concerns have usually been, in canon, more along the lines of: pls don’t let robert put himself in jail and also does robert love me enough

on the first point, see: ssw and “i could lose you”, the police questioning rob about withdrawing the money to pay ryan, the argument over breaking lucky out of jail.

on the second: everything about the rebecca saga - i think aaron actually understood that rob was using her for her connection to the whites and the chance to get some more money (see: the talk in the back room after finding out about the kiss) but that didn’t stop him from feeling uncomfortable about it and so the question was always this awful mix of - does he love me enough to stay faithful and does he love me more than he loves money and scheming?

and that’s been the sticking point. canon has shown robert actively dropping scheming with rebecca/making money for aaron (aaron’s birthday) and also obviously there was that whole BURNING 10K thing smh - robert does love aaron more than he loves money and power but at the same time, oh boy does he love money and power! and he makes some fucked up choices around them.

the actual issue of why they broke up is more around obviously rob knocking up rebecca - which happened more because rob was genuinely angry at aaron, angrier than he’d been in such a long time. i’ve spoken about this so many times, but as far as robert was aware at that moment, he’d spent all this time struggling without aaron, unable to sleep, pouring money into a lawyer to try and get him out early and here’s aaron, disregarding all of that, taking drugs and threatening his chances of early release

and aaron going to prison? that’s something aaron did by himself (and ok also finn) that hurt robert and liv. a lot. that’s something that affected them both horrendously that was aaron’s fault. i have a friend whose dad punched someone at work which led to him getting fired and his mum literally up and left him - that level of violence against others really can break up relationships. aaron put someone in hospital and went to prison for it and robert chose to stay and didn’t hold it against aaron - until that one moment of weakness, where everything was a little too much, and he allowed himself to really be angry at aaron for putting them in that situation - and he fucked up massively. because he’s an idiot. and also probably because he has some issues around putting aaron on a pedestal sometimes and seeing aaron itching for more spice and being really very, horribly, awfully human was very very difficult for robert at that moment.

like. aaron put someone in hospital and robert barely said a word to aaron about it. that’s insane. and mirrored in a lot of ways in aaron’s initial reaction to staying with robert after the reveal and finding out about the baby. they both have the worst communication issues and also they are both so desperate to stay with each other that they overlook things that need to be talked about and dealt with. and that’s what’s been getting them in trouble since the moment they got together properly.

anyway, i’m literally more sympathetic towards the ons than i am basically anything else robert has ever done e v e r, which is ironic because that’s the one thing that fucked up robert’s life and ultimately pushed aaron away.

and ok let’s look at what aaron knew, from his side, that was expressed in canon, in the most simplistic form we can:

robert was angry at aaron for taking spice and slept with rebecca to hurt him, regrets it massivelyrebecca is now pregnant and not getting rid of the baby and also not leaving the village or going anywhere robert doesn’t want the baby but also is sort of fucked up about itaaron wants to be with robertaaron thinks robert would be a good dadaaron wants robert to spend time with his child if that’s what robert wants (because he very much loves robert)aaron doesn’t want rebecca to spend time with robert and does not know how to handle the fact that the baby is a reason why that has to happenin fact, rebecca being around is a constant reminder of the worst parts of robert and all those parts that he gave into earlier this yearand she has clearly expressed to aaron that she wanted to steal robert from him aaron has no real reason to trust that robert wouldn’t end up with rebecca despite everything because aaron is only human and its natural to be insecure about ur partner spending time with an ex who they kissed and also slept with in the last yearaaron wants to believe that robert only wants himaaron pushed most of that resentment on rebecca moreso than robert because that was an easier option for himultimately, he also resents robert and it doesn’t take much pushing for him to take that anger out on robert as well as rebecca, with almost deadly consequencesthe whole situation, likely in conjunction with the fact that he’s already experienced a lot of trauma earlier that year in prison which we are reminded of with the jason call back when aaron tries to buy spice again, is horrific for aaron’s mental healthaaron removes himself from the situation - both because he himself is struggling and because he almost killed robert - he says that he doesn’t need this and neither does robert.

i know i’ve seen a lot of people say that robert was the one who was bad for his mental health but it was so so so much more the situation as a whole than it was robert - and the situation was borne out of robert’s horrible decisions and god damn is that why robert needs to sort himself out and stop making horrible decisions on impulse whenever he’s feeling emotions that are hard to handle

- aaron needed to do it, because aaron was in a place where he was reacting with dangerous levels of violence every time he was upset at or about robert

and now robert needs to do it, because…. well, look at the little fucker, throwing himself into getting control of home farm as if that’s going to fill the emptiness in his chest, without any regard for anyone else’s safety or feelings. it’s a miracle no one has died yet (again) as a result of robert’s recklessness and carelessness over the lives of other people - and there have been enough close calls. this isn’t like… a cry of help to aaron though? this isn’t about rob trying to get aaron back lmao. it’s about him thinking he’s lost aaron for good and so deciding to do exactly what he was doing before aaron came along - which was slowly getting home farm and all the money and power that comes along with it. only this time, he’s acting almost deranged, because… well, he’s having a breakdown isn’t he?

for aaron and robert to get back together, aaron needs to continue to be in a place where he won’t resort to violence and robert needs to wake up and realise that being careless about people’s lives and doing what he’s been doing etc etc isn’t a good way to live + whatever else they’re gonna have him face up to lmao

but like? if robert stops being a dick and chasing after money and power at the expense of all the good things in his life (which - if anything could ever teach him that that’s not as emotionally fulfilling a way to live as being with your family and the man you love, i feel like this situation might)? i don’t see why aaron wouldn’t be happy with robert? they’re in love with one another and people can change and better themselves and lbr aaron literally said himself that he still thinks of himself as being in a relationship with rob because emotionally they’re both totally committed to one another.

robert may be a terrible human but he loves aaron and he’s spent a lot of time trying to be better for aaron - he’s saved aaron’s life over and over, is someone aaron wants to spend the rest of his life with, is someone aaron slips work to spend his entire day with, makes aaron laugh, loves aaron’s sister, someone who decorated an entire insane and beautiful house for them to live in, is someone who couldn’t sleep in their bed without aaron in it, someone who thinks that aaron is beautiful inside and out, someone who threw a surprise wedding for aaron because he was panicking about going to prison and needed something to ground him a little, someone who devoted all of his time and energy to supporting aaron through one of the toughest fucking periods of aaron’s life without asking or needing anything in return

robert is awful to most people but most of the time he tries like hell to be the best he can be to aaron and most of the time? he succeeds

sometimes he doesn’t and those are the moments where we internally slap him upside the head but like… that’s also how relationships work, usually

(but also thank christ rob is getting the redemption coma or whatever bc he needs it)

and aaron loves him back - even after everything, aaron defends robert to people, he truly believes in the best parts of robert because he’s seen them, as well as the worst parts - and he’s forgiven the worst parts because that’s what aaron does and that’s not a bad thing or a weakness or something he needs to be gently pushed out of, that’s a beautiful quality in a human being tbh fuck everyone who doesn’t appreciate and respect aaron’s capacity to forgive whilst still sticking up for himself and making sure no one walks over him, because he absolutely would never let anyone walk over him, not even robert - aaron knows his own mind and his own heart and he’s going to do whatever he’s going to do, fuck what anyone else thinks and if that means believing that robert is deserving of his forgiveness, i don’t think that’s something that makes him weak nor is it necessarily even something that takes something away from aaron, that’s hard for him to do or makes him lesser in any way. idk i’m a forgiving person and i get how against the odds easy that can be sometimes, even if it’s not necessarily the best idea always 😂

IM GETTING OFF TRACK BASICALLY AARON LOVES ROBERT AND ROBERT LOVES AARON AND THAT WASNT ENOUGH FOR THEM THIS YEAR - EVERYTHING IMPLODED AND SOMETIMES IT WAS AARON’S FAULT, MORE OFTEN IT WAS ROB’S FAULT AND GOD SOMETIMES IT WAS THE WORLD JUST BEING RELENTLESSLY SHITTY TO THEM AND PILING ON SOME MORE PAIN

BUT WANTING AARON TO BE WITH ROBERT IS NEVER NECESSARILY AS SIMPLE AS “I DISREGARD AARON’S FEELINGS IN FAVOUR OF ROBERT’S” BECAUSE I SECRETLY HATE AARON, BECAUSE TO ME, AARON’S FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS INEVITABLY GOING TO BUILD BACK UP TO WANTING TO BE WITH ROBERT

AND I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR AARON’S FEELINGS HENCE THE JUSTICE FOR AARON’S FEELINGS 2K17 MOVEMENT THAT I KEEP HAVING TO BRING OUT

but it’s just that that decision to be together again doesn’t necessarily have to turn into the hell that 2017 was for them both

🤷🏻‍♀️ they can be better than that and they can genuinely make one another happy - they just need a better run at it, with less awful impulses towards violence or infidelity or what have you

(and also it’s a soap and their relationship is hella entertaining)

#long post #....no one is gonna read that question and not anticipate having to scroll for their life right #THIS TURNED INTO A RAMBLING MESS IM SORRY IM SICK RN #IM NOT ON MY A GAME #meta #answering anons

[theday]

minpuppy day

its 8pm here, and his birthday is almost over. im listening to day6′s stream rn and im ready to type out my essay 4 lmh 

this got so long and its a mess without proper sources whoops!!!!

SO FIRST OF ALL... lee minhyuk!!!!! the kindest boy on earth and also the most extra lmao

tbh i only became a mbb in late august so i was only present for the last 2 ep of mxray but with everything else, i had 2 catch up rip.. i watched the first episode of season 2 first bc im a dumbebe and it was the cafe/nail salon episode ?? yeah. at that point i didnt know any of them and i couldnt recognise anyone except for jooheon bc i started liking jh first i was just super confused with everyone else, minhyuk included. nobody really stood out when i watched it but i still found it extremely funny (mx are so funny every show theyve been on i always laugh its great i love it) was the next episode the party one ?? (nope) i dont remember but i dont think i focused on anyone at that time either but i noticed how minhyuk was so fucking extra with how he would give kh + hw false clues and i was like .. ‘this guy is seriously..’ and when changkyun plotted with them to abandon mh i was cheering for him tbh LOL and i got so scared for ck when minhyuk found out sbwjaiks idk ive never talked about first impression for mxray so im gonna side track a bit (a lot) and?? the way he played everyone and eventually himself (and changkyun) was so funny wtfeksmk we love an idiot?? in the animal episode, i didnt take notice of mh (again) bc he was with jh and i was 2 focused on him poor mh and mary LMAO i think throughout my first watch of mxray i didnt have that much of an impression of minhyuk other than that he is super extra?? watching their older shows like ‘right now’ and the des??koptac??? fk if i know im a fakebebe i think he grew on me more?? 

but the time where he really impacted me and made me fall for him was when i watched no.mercy?? the way he gave the flower to the judge (i lov EHR SO MUCH) (the male judges can ***** x) it really gave me the impression of how sweet minhyuk is?? and i remember when he got second last and he cried i felt so fucking bad? he loves his parents so damn much???? minhyuk is really out here being the best son/friend/group mate?? AND despite that he worked together with the other guy (im so sorry) and they did a wonderful stage?? the way minhyuk lightened the mood after the performance showki gave? that made me really think because people gave minhyuk the title of mood maker you know? and just based on that i could truly see why and after that im so happy minhyuk is with monsta x (ill talk abt this later) and im pretty sure he was the one who lost since it was like a battle (work together with your partner but youre also fighting against them) and i know how they like messed the thing up didnt they? and they told him he won but they announced the wrong name minhyuk didnt even let that get to him? he had the biggest smile on his face even though he lost? i love lee minhyuk so much?? he was happy because he and his team mate managed to show such a good performance and that makes me so proud??? 

it was probably at that point where i really started to see minhyuk as who he is??? he has a lot of sides to him honestly and i dont know all of them but from what i can see minhyuk’s just great?? i was also starting to fall deeper for monsta x as a whole and that meant finding out about past incidents and watching old vlives,, i saw ppl mentioned about how minhyuk would be there for wonho throughout his harder times?? and i watched the video where wonho actually thanks minhyuk (and other members) about that and you can just see how supportive minhyuk is of wonho? hes always there for him and not just wonho, minhyuk’s always with everyone although it is different every era?? he shows so much love to all of his members and its ?? amazing??? minhyuk’s like everybody’s support system and im jsut so!!!!! minhyuk ur doing amazing sweetie :-( 

right now back to the thing i said i said id talk abt later which is now so. i was watching the last ep of no.mercy (where they select who gets 2 debut) and i knew who were gonna debut obviously but it was still so fucking nerve wrecking???? honestly? you could see the shock on minhyuk’s face when he gets chosen as the last member. idk what he was thinking but it really hurts to think that minhyuk probably thought he wouldnt be able to get in? (i also have no idea how no.mercy works and im still a bit skeptical about it, was it all planned? etc.) and just the surprise and disbelief really??? goD ??? mh probably felt really bad about being chosen despite have 2 other suitable ppl next to him i kind of think minhyuk sometimes doubts his abilities??? back on weekly idol too where they asked him how he managed to get in and they (hyungwon?) answered with passion like?? i dont know :-// this whole para is a joke tbh bc of how much i dont trust no.mercy lol so disregard it?????

what i wanted 2 say though was how without minhyuk, i dont think monsta x would be able to be how they are today. as much as i hate to say this, performance & song wise, there wouldnt be much of a difference because of how little lines minhyuk gets (which is understandable, still makes me a tad bit mmMPH) however, the presence on shows would change so much??? minhyuk helps bring out everyones sides on shows? and maybe he doesnt and im just being bloody delusional but i believe that minhyuk plays a super important role whenever mx are on any kind of show because he’s able to ?? i dont know??? he can see whenever one of the members are feeling uncomfortable/not talking enough and he goes to them/asks them stuff im pulling this out of my ass actually ah . i dont fucking know i dont have any sources nd this is all from my shit ass memory so if u do read this and realize how inaccurate it is im sorry but thanks 4 reading lmao 

basically . minhyuk plays an important role in monsta x as more than a vocal but as a person who’s always there for his members 

ANOTHER THING. we all know of when minhyuk speaks english?? like he doesnt have to because theres changkyun but he does it anyway?? again, idk if he does it bc he wants 2 lessen the burden on changkyun (who cant speak english that well - same) or because he wants to connect with more intl fans but its sweet either way?? and its really funny the way he translates stuff too lmao 

i already saw someone else talk about this but its something i noticed too though it didnt really click unitl i saw their post about it,, back on like the radio vlive he would do with kihyun he was always setting goals for the vlive and everything but in the recent vlive with kihyun (again) he assured mbbs that they didnt need to press hearts and that they should focus on the vlive (was this mentioned or assumed???) idk but we can think he probably means that even if it was unspoken.. it really shows how much minhyuk’s grown??? he went from asking for hearts to making sure that mbbs could properly watch the vlive instead?? minhyuk really looks out for others ? when he picked out the stuff kihyun didnt like too??? he didnt even to think twice about doing it he just did it immediately?? minhyuk is so fucking sweet and he just??? thinks about the others ??? always being there for them and everything????

minhyuk is also so sososososo nice to fans? i watched that one video where he gave fans his like towel because they didnt have umbrellas and it was raining/?? yeah sure maybe thats like. basic fan idol stuff but it really says a lot about minhyuk??? he didnt have an umbrella either but he still wanted to make sure they wouldnt get sick????

in these past 2 months, ive learnt that minhyuk is more than extra, hes someone who cares for just about everybody??? he was the last member selected for monsta x but he’s constantly improved himself since then and im so proud of lee minhyuk?? so shoutout to the boy who loves his members and monbebes like theyre his family and shoutout to the boy who loves his family so much. happy birthday lee minhyuk and thank you for being born :-D 

also its 9pm now lmao and day6 are doing their last song im happy this has been fun so bye now 

#moon texts #love essays #was gonna do jinwoo first but priorities

[rqs902]

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LOL MTY AS MA ZHENNAN IM CRYING HAHAHHAHAHA the rap with the hat covering his face and the running around im ded. i appreciate da xi and rainbow’s silliness too but i think mty was just so extra and was so out of his normal sleepy looking state LOL

im just laughing at how much tyler is laughing at everything LOL

aw just seeing tyler’s outfit makes me think that yingge and ruiyang have had a big influence on him haha yingge really looking out for him like an older brother by arranging to have cake to celebrate tyler’s birthday 

L O L liao juntao is comforting szb by telling him to not mind the haters bc he shouldnt care about them, he doesnt even know who they are. and then the next second being like “你就說你愛不愛你哥哥” and being like “HE NEVER SAYS ITTTTT” SMH HAHHAHAHA hes the dorkiest older bro that you can rely on to give you encouragement when you’re down but also will no doubt embarrass you beyond belief in public 

hm :\ i see they tried to address the zhang yang issue concisely. i mean, i guess its better than them completely ignoring the fact that there was an issue. but it seems like they painted it as zhang yang having anger / emotional control issues and they were about to force him to leave but xiao zhi and yang runze begged them and zhang yang felt regret and sad so they let him stay. and he has since started to open up about his feelings more. this feels like such a sterilized retelling of what happened, i still dont really feel like we can actually understand what happened. but from xiao zhi, yrz, and zhang yang’s weibo posts they all insist that theyre being treated well by the show and not to worry, bc zhang yang’s got his feelings sorted out soooo idk but i wouldnt be surprised if that was something they had to do to get tencent to let zhang yang stay on the show tho

surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly considering his younger age and personality, yrz’s post is the most direct and he basically just simplified it down to them having worked hard on their composition but the tencent crew told them to change it and zhang yang got frustrated and angry. it got recorded and leaked and blown up so much that zhang yang felt really bad about it afterwards. 

we’ll probably never really understand everything that happened, but i guess all we can do is be grateful that tencent forgave him (bc he probs does not want a career of being blacklisted by tencent... seems like career suicide) even if there was or was not fault on both sides. im really hoping he feels alright. especially bc their group is doing so well on the show, its a good opportunity for them to gain more fans. 

it is so hard to keep track of these kids’ demographic info bc its not on the show’s wikipedia page or anything so i struggle to keep track without a collated place to look up info, but if i remember correctly i believe yrz is like 18? zhang yang was born in like 97? and xiao zhi 95? (could be wrong) but if that’s true, xiao zhi is like 25..... can we talk about this real quick? bc it must be a lot for someone like yrz being 18 to be going through all this, but it also must be real difficult for xiao zhi, can you imagine? trying to be the oldest bro, trying to keep them together, comforting and encouraging, responsible and depended on, and can you imagine the amount of 包容 he must have? and the fact that he didnt even want to be with zhang yang at first but has grown to appreciate him so much and the fact that hes the least popular one out of their trio, but is also the one keeping their whole team grounded? wild. i mean all that considered, i think im starting to be a xiao zhi fan. and a big part of it is the way he performs on stage, so free and with such enjoyment, but honestly this whole thing is a part of it too. 

lol xu yang telling xiao huang straight up “are you really happy? you said you dont get much screentime and now you’ve been separated from xiao li” -- BIG OOF. too real. omg that directness just hits you like a ton of bricks. rip

man i wish xiao huang and xiao li could reunite but also xiao li getting zero screentime when they flash to hyt’s group right after? sad. 

o i heard about yyg leaving the show but i didnt realize it was because he has an injury o gosh i hope he’s okay...... i thought he would’ve left bc he wanted to, but this feels more like hes being forced to, like he has no choice and he didnt actually want to leave his friends :( i was in disbelief that he’d just leave his friends, so i guess this makes sense, its just more sad. 

tbh watching the elims so far, i only cried when yyg was talking about how he couldn’t feel his legs but he still didnt want to leave his friends behind. even when the kids who are leaving were announced, it didnt leave as big of an impact, but maybe its because of the way they announce them all at once. the reshuffling... i feel like its true that things havent been easy for qiang ge, but i also feel like he mightve said he wanted to reshuffle bc it would make jym look less like the bad guy if two of them brought it up instead of jym alone. i guess it kinda makes zk look sad as a result though. 

for one thing, these kids are pretty lucky at least the show doesnt force them to be or stay together. the judges made a suggestion and they were allowed to say no. 

i feel like hyt is just picking kids based on their personalities and i cant say thats a bad thing, but it is interesting that everyone else on his team is gonna sing besides himself then lol 

ljt’s team picking jym? i feel like theyll have a lot of emotions, but maybe if they all respect ljt enough itll work out 

i can see xy being with wx’s team. xiao zhi saying wsh isnt his first choice but he’ll do it for his team to be happy, im a bit concerned, esp bc tbh wsh isnt gonna help them get more votes but i guess theyre not thinking about that. xiao zhi was the only one who didnt even walk over to get wsh, even tho he was the only one that was supposed to, as f-man. we’ll see how this goes... but again he didnt want to pick zhang yang at first and apparently thats worked out well so 

hmm qiang ge’s hesitation being labeled as a sign of lack of confidence, well hes been unconfident that people want his instrument for this whole show, but now he’s also scared that he’s going to be forcing people together against their will. the whole thing between wjy and muji... literally wjy tries to appear like he doesnt care, but muji obviously cares a lot. and the fact that they literally asked muji in front of wjy if he’d be ok with working with wjy, of course muji’s gonna say its fine bc what kind of terrible person would he be if he said no to wjy’s face? ugh obviously theres something going on but qiang ge seems like hes optimistic that he can be the go-between and fix whatever there is, but thats a lot to ask for from a child his age. and then mty also? qiang ge wiping his tears for him was touching but also telling of their relationship dynamic. qiang ge is really signing up for a lot... seems a bit idealistic, but hes popular so hopefully he’ll be okay. LOL wjy awkwardly asking muji if he’ll be okay and muji saying it will and qiang ge running to get in between them. oh man. we didnt get to see it that much but if i remember correctly, wjy just tries to do too much and muji is like no stop and then struggles to get wjy to listen. 

oh rip i feel like the kids who were leftover were some of my favorite kids.......... like da xi and rainbow and even ruiyang and tyler and samhar, i was looking out for them :( im just amazed they eliminated people who have made such a unique stylistic impact on the show. but i guess they werent popular enough. also sad that yyg probably feels guilty that his leaving meant his teammates got eliminated but they also feel guilty that he stayed behind for as long as he did even though he was suffering. 

hm not gonna lie this ep was not as emotional as the snzm elims for me, and i do feel like its prob in part bc im still more invested in snzm and the kids there, but also in part just the way the elims were structured, its not as big of an emotional impact for me. announcing the kids who got eliminated at first all at once, and then the rest are just the rest left behind after the kids choose teams again. its a bit rough bc you know they have to take the instruments into consideration too, not just friendships, which i think made the saving segment of snzm so emotional. it was raw friendship and they struggled so hard to choose, and it was framed as “saving” versus here its just reshuffling. it doesnt hit you as hard that those who dont get chosen are leaving until they start walking away. its interestingly different. its discouraging that kids i liked a lot were eliminated, but theres still a few left that i care about so ill keep watching for now...

#rants