#AND IM FUCKING TIRED ITS 1:00 AM
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Rick & Morty fanfiction - SEAL Shenanigans
Relationships - Rick Sanchez & Morty Smith, Morty Smith/Evil Morty, Morty Smith & Summer Smith
Characters - Morty Smith, Rick Sanchez, Evil Morty, Other Ricks, Other Mortys, SEAL team Ricks, (mentioned) Summer Smith, (mentioned) Beth Smith, (mentioned) Jerry Smith
Warnings & tags - graphic depictions of violence, depressed morty smith, morty smith needs a hug, hurt morty smith, grandpa Rick Sanchez, Episode: s05e10 Rickmurai Jack, sort of, protective Rick Sanchez, jealous Rick Sanchez, no incest, platonic relationships, whump, no beta we die like Prime, out of character, but not horribly so, tags are hard, tags may change, suicide attempt
Summary - Rick abandoned Morty for two pea-brained birds. How is the 14-year-old supposed to cope? He chooses to go to the citadel and join the SEAL team to get his anger out on monsters and gromflomites. He's learned the lay of the land fairly well, but things get confusing when a mysterious, yet somehow familiar, Rick shows up and starts being nice to him.
He's seen countless Ricks not give a shit about whatever Morty they happen to use as a human shield for bullets and blades, so why is this Rick different?
(inspired by RustyChainSnorter's fic, Weird Rick. I highly suggest you go check it out!)
Chapters - 12/?
Current word count - 48,981
Link -
#rick and morty#morty smith#evil morty#morty c137#rick sanchez#rick and morty fanfiction#ao3 fanfic#ao3 link#whump#evil morty x morty smith#I WROTE THID CHAPTER IN ONE DAY#WHILE ALTERNATING BETWEEN WORKING ON ANOTHER FIC#IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF#AND IM FUCKING TIRED ITS 1:00 AM#mortycest
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Tranquility
The following is the final transcript from Dr. Harold Ferrier in Trial 151 of the Tranquility Experiment. No further trials were conducted. This document is classified, destroy after reading.
——
DAY 1 - 10:25 AM
Dr. Ferrier: “Alright. Subject 151, government name is Logan Marquette. Subject is 47 years of age, height of 5’2, weighing in at just over 253 pounds. Acquired from official test subject pool in Louisiana. According to intake documentation, the subject suffers from acute social anxiety, body dysmorphia, erectile dysfunction, and low testosterone. Upon introduction, Mr. Marquette expressed mild reservations in partaking in the experiment, but had signed the agreement. He now understands his legal obligation. How are we doing today, Mr. Marquette?”
P151: “When are we going to start the experiment, doctor? It won’t take long, will it?”
DF: “No, Mr. Marquette. This is going to be a quick and painless observational study. We are studying the effects of cannabis on musical creativity. Thus, as outlined in the experiment summary, we are going to to administer the stimulus in smoke form.”
P151: “Okay. Fine. I haven’t smoked anything since my college years. That wont be a problem, will it?”
DF: “No, sir. If anything that is precisely what we are looking for in a subject. Now, the cannabis is in an ashtray on the coffee table there. Please go ahead and ignite and inhale. Finish it in its entirety, and document your sensations as they occur in the questionnaire. We will see how day one goes. If you need any assistance, I will be right behind that partition.”
P151: “Wait, day one? Is this a long term commitment?”
DF: “I will bring in a copy of the agreement you signed for you to look over. Now please, let us begin.”
——
10:57 AM
DF: “I have exited the testing chamber, and left the subject to his own devices. Moderate apprehension is clear in the subjects demeanor, however, should any defiance arise, restraints will be employed and the experiment will proceed as planned.
Upon the first inhalation of strain XTQ, subject immediately shows signs of relaxation and euphoria. Logan here has reclined in the the sofa, and is slowly inhaling the drug. No signs of physical metamorphosis have materialized at this time. However, he is seemingly increasing his intake at a rapid pace. As noted in trial 112, the speed in which inhalation occurs has a strong effect on the overall changes. Consequently, for this trial, we have significantly increased the dosage and concentration of strain XTQ to observe any potential differentiation on bodily form and function. The next entry in this observational log will occur tonight at 1900 hours.”
——
7:00 PM
DF: “Good evening, Logan. How are we feeling?”
P151: “I’m doing fine, Dr. Ferrier… just fine.”
DF: “Subject exhibits decreased pace of communication and muscle movement. Have you filled out today’s questionnaire?”
P151: “Oh fuck, I forgot. I’ll get to it. I just got lost for a minute there.”
DF: “Please make sure you do, Logan. Wait, what’s this?”
P151: “What’s what? Hahah!”
DF: “First sign of physical morphology has occurred. Subject seems to have developed changes in the right arm extremities. Marginal increase in the scale of the hands and fingers, while subsequent loss in adipose tissue is evident. Logan, have you always had these tattoos?”
P151: “What? Oh wow… I don’t remember getting those… that’s… that’s weird. They look kinda cool though.”
DF: “Indeed they do. Now, Im going to go ahead and photograph this for documentation, okay Logan?”
P151: “Yeah, sure man. Do what you have to do.”
DF: “Alright, excellent. Now. Go ahead and start getting settled for the night. There’s a bed by the window over there with some sheets and a few pillows. You let the nurses know if you have any feelings of discomfort or pain during the evening. I’ll be back tomorrow to check on your progress.”
P151: “Yeah, sounds good. I’m feeling a little tired anyway. I’ll get some shut eye.”
——
9:00 PM
DF: “We are coming to a close on day one. Subject has finished their questionnaire much later than anticipated. He has expressed senses of euphoria, tingling in the limbs, and substantial sedative effects. Observations seemingly confirm this.
I am astounded at the record increase in transformative pacing. Within just two hours of the last entry, the subject has lost nearly half of body mass. Significantly increased perspiration seems to correlate with the loss of liquids in the body, though this does not explain the further loss of adipose tissue across all portions of the body. Further, the impossible manifestation of subdermal ink is both concerning and intriguing. As ink is not a biological compound, I am perplexed by its sudden appearance on his right arm. Further, upon second observation, the ink seems to have spread further up the arm onto his shoulders and neck. Potential skin sample may be taken at a later date for analysis.”
——
Day 2 - 8:45 AM
DF: “This… this is day two of Trial 151… The physics changes… they’re… impossible. A light scent of perspiration… of sweat, has lingered in the air, and the air is noticeably more humid. Will adjust environmental parameters as needed.
Uh, Logan… how… how are you feeling?”
P151: “Morning, doc. Slept like a rock last night. You wouldn’t happen to have any more of that stuff from yesterday would you?”
DF: “I do, Logan. You will get your second dosage in just a moment. But, I have to ask… do you… notice anything different? Physically?”
P151: “Huh, nah not really. I feel pretty great if I’m honest!”
DF: “Have you… looked in the mirror this morning? There is one in the corner?”
P151: “Of course I did! Sometimes I can’t look away, you know what I mean?”
DF: “You don’t notice anything strange? Nothing off compared to yesterday?”
P151: “Nope. So can we get started? I had the dopest dream last night and I wanna write down a few riffs. I bet that stuff could help me out, ya feel?”
DF: “I will have the nurse bring in your dosage for today. Just… just be sure to write down your own observations for today, okay? It’s very important.”
——
9:00 AM
DF: “Subject has… changed almost entirely over the course of the night. He has lost further weight, according to our measurements today. He now sits at 191 pounds. That’s 62 pounds of weight loss in a single night. The ink has spread across his entire body. Designs seem not to follow any geometric or biological pattern. This is impossible…
Uhm, he has also seemed to have… reversed his aging process. His heart rate is more stable, his cholesterol is completely healthy, skin elasticity seems to be on par with a man ten years his junior. Hair growth has also been stimulated both cranially and across the legs and feet. It also seems his body temperature has steadily increased, and his perspiration has stayed in tandem.
I must speak to Dr. Irving about the continuation of this trial. The second dosage has already been administered, but I have serious ethical qualms after witnessing these changes.”
——
1:59 PM:
DF: “Logan?”
P151: “Ayyyy Doc! Come over here, I gotta show you this sick fuckin tear-ass solo I wrote.”
DF: “Perhaps later, Logan… I have a few questions to ask you… Ugh… have the nurses not brought you to the showers yet?”
P151: “Haha, they’ve brought me already, man. Can’t get rid of the funk! Sorry ‘bout it if it bothers ya. I kinda like it.”
DF: “No… no, it doesn’t bother me. But if you wouldn’t mind pulling your pants up, I’d appreciate it. Logan, have you filled out your questionnaire?”
P151: “For sure, dude. It’s over on the table over there by the bed.”
DF: “I see… I couldn’t help but notice the stains on your sheets… or your underwear there.”
P151: “Hahah, I mean you know how it goes, doc. A guys gotta let some tension out every now and again. I’m sure y’all have been watching, hope you enjoyed the show.”
DF: “Logan, I actually need to talk to you about that… I am going to ask you to refrain from your… flirtatious remarks with our staff. It is distracting the nurses and research assistants.”
P151: “Can’t make any promises, bruh. But I’ll do my best. Just for you, doc.”
DF: “Alright. Please don’t wink at me, Mr. Marquette. We need to keep this a professional environment. Now, are you feeling anything different?”
P151: “Man, I can’t believe you say I came in here all shook up and stressed out all the time. This shit you been givin’ me has been working man! I feel fuckin’ great!”
DF: “That’s… that’s great, Logan. Now, the lead researcher on our team has decided… against doubts, that we should increase your dosage. I’m legally obligated to ask for your consent on this matter, but I have to tell you, Logan. I have grave concerns…”
P151: “Ayyy, chill out, doc. I’m on board with that! I might need to grab a few grams of this when I head out, haha!”
DF: “We’ll see. I need to take another photograph, just keep writing your music, okay? I’ll be back tomorrow to do another checkin.”
——
9:32 PM
DF: “Dr. Irving has denied my request to stop the experiment, despite everything I have showed her. The subject is unrecognizable from the man who entered the room yesterday morning. Nearly every physical metric of his body has been changed somehow. We are unsure if it is truly the work of strain XTQ, but I am certain of the closed nature of our experiment and the lack of extraneous factors interfering with the results.
The subject has developed a nearly insatiable libido, masturbating four times between the last check in and now. Staff has also been subjected to numerous sexual advances, both male and female, which we immediately and directly intervened. There were no signs of aggression during these encounters, as nursing staff reported feeling strongly persuaded by what they called his ‘charm.’ We suspect that heavy pheromone production in his sebaceous glands is partly to blame, as six out of seven staff members directly referenced an ‘irresistible musk’ emanating from him.
He is nearly half the age he was when he arrived. I cannot make sense of these developments, and am anxious to proceed with the experiment as outlined in Dr. Irving’s plan. A second dosage was administered today, which seems to have only further increased his euphoric demeanor and shift in personality. On his questionnaire, he’s developed deep seeded interests in subjects he’s never before attempted. He’s mentioned his favorite pastimes are skateboarding, playing guitar, writing music, and… in more appropriate terms, organizing polyamorous activities.
I am unsure as to how much longer we can ethically work on this project. The complete overwrite of one’s persona is too far a risk for the general population.”
——
Day 3: 10:12 AM
DF: “Good morning, Loga… oh… oh my god.”
P151: “Whassup, doc. Happy to see me? Hah!”
DF: “Logan… I can’t continue with this project. Look at you! You’re over six feet tall. Your face is completely different. Your hair color is different, your eye color is different, your feet barely fit in those socks anymore!”
P151: “Hahah, you checkin me out, doc? You like what you see?”
DF: “Put your arms down, Logan. Stop flexing and listen to me. We need to stop these trials. You have become someone entirely contrary from who you were when you came here. I mean you look 27 years old for god’s sake!”
P151: “Babe, calm the fuck down. Let’s say I am different from when I walked in. You said I was all fucked up. Anxious, stressed, unhealthy, tired… isn’t this so much better than before?”
DF: “I…”
P151: “Why the fuck would I wanna go back to that, babe? I’m havin the time of my fuckin’ life. Bangin’ all the hourlies, smoking the good shit, jamming out, writing my good fuckin music. Dude, I’m as good as it can get!”
DF: “No, wait! Logan, give me the recorder back. Wait! Don’t touch me! Mmmph!!”
P151: “There, on your knees, babe. You need to chill the fuck out. Put your face on my bulge, man. Sniff it. Let it all in. You remember Matty the nurse, right doc? Yeah I bet you remember his tight sexy ass. Right after we plowed eachother all last night he slipped me another one of your j’s. I think it’s about time you took some of your own medicine, babe.”
DF: “Logan! Ugh… please… it smells so… buttery. And… salty… and musky…”
P151: “Here, doc. This one is for you. It’s already rollin’. There ya go. Just breathe it in. Just like that. Yeahhhh. See, man? It feels so fuckin’ good right?”
DF: “I… yeah. It does… I… I want…”
P151: “Take ‘em off. He’s dripping and waiting for that mouth of yours. Ahhh fuck.”
DF: *slurp* *slurp* *gag*
P151: “Fuuuuuuuuck babe. Yeahhhhh. You’re a fuckin keeper, babe. Here, lemme just snap a lil something for later. Ugh, fuck that tongue is good.”
P151: “Fuck yeah babe. We gon get you stoned as fuck. You’ll end up like me. Free, sexy, chill… we can hang, and jam, and fuck, and skate, and shred… ohhh fuck. Yeah, babe. This is gonna be fuckin’ sick.”
——
Day 9: 11:59 AM
Dr. Irving: “It is now day nine of trial 151 of strain XTQ. I am meeting with Dr. Ferrier on his lack of updates since day 3. I’m not pleased with his insubordination since that day. I am worried he has shut down the experiment prematurely. He is even now late to the meeting.”
*door opens*
DF: “Yo, Jenny! How’s it going?”
DI: “Uhm, Im sorry, who are you? How did you get in here? Dressed like that? Where is your shirt?
DF: “Hah, it’s me! Harry! I know you haven’t forgotten me!”
DI: “Harold? Harold Ferrier?”
DF: “You know it! What did you wanna see me about, boss lady?”
DI: “What on earth are you talking about? You’re not Harold Ferrier.”
DF: “You’re tripping, Jenny. And ya didn’t even share, what the fuck? Hah! Ayyy, Logan! Come meet Jenny!”
DI: “Who… wait… no. The subject… you can’t be…”
——
END OF RECORDING.
Last known photo of Dr. Harold Ferrier. Must be located and contained with Subject 151 at all costs.
#male transformation#body transformation#original#transformation#jockification#musk#musky#gay transformation#stoner transformation#stoner#boyfriends#male tf#skater transformation
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Hiii CATIE!!!!! HIII
Im pretty pretty sure people have already asked BUT HOW WAS ATTENDING THE US GP LIVE!!!! WAS???? TELL ME!! DO YOU HAVE PICS??? I know I know im late.
I ALSO HOPE YOU GOT HOME SAFE AND SOUND AND THAT YOU ARE RESTING NOW+!!!(I saw the chaos you went through im deeply sorry for you :( )
ANYWAYS HOW WAS THE RACE? HOW WAS EXPERIENCING STROLLONSO LIVE?????? AND omg did you get pics of drivers??? :00
You must must share pleaseeeeee.wax.poet
OH MY GOD ELLE SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! IT WAS VERY COOL!!!!! VERY SURREAL!!!!!! I've taken a week to answer this but uhhhh yes I am in fact home now 🥰 I got home at like 1 am which was cool....
First of all I have to mention this! I was fighting for my life walking thru the Austin airport(from sleep deprivation), and I had my Fernando hat on my backpack, right? Some girl comes up to me and asks if I'm going to the GP, I say yes. SHE GAVE ME A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET, I COULD'VE SOBBED 🥹 It says on it "wtf is a km", I'm still so happy
COTA was the first race I ever watched, so to be actually at that track and watch a race live there was extremely surreal! Very hot though my god 😵💫 I think last year it was pretty hot, right? And my brother kept sending me the temp and it was pretty okay, and then of fucking course the temp leaps up to 89-97°(31-36° Celsius btw) right in time for the gp....so that was nice(I say as I burn in the sun like a vampire. But don't worry I didn't even really tan at all 😭 I always wore a hat and a lot of sunscreen. And meanwhile my brother was literally a lobster)
(This is a long post):
So unfortunately I missed the drivers parade because my brother and I were dying on Saturday night and his friends wanted to go first thing in the morning, and we're like "we will go later actually 😊" and missed it entirely 😭😭😭 but his friends took pics of Mclaren and Aston for me!!!!! But unfortunately I havent gotten them still, so I'll have to reblog this later with those! I took a lot of pictures of the cars I took from behind the fence, which I think I've posted some of? Lmk if anyone wants those!! They're very random, I just thought it was very surreal to see the cars flying past, so I took a million.
The coolest part was definitely running on track after the race was over!!! Soooooo surreal, and so I'm only gonna post pics rn from Sunday(bcs pic limit on phone) and also I think everything else kinda pales in comparison(but of course lmk if there's anything you're interested in seeing 🤭)
Okay and did I see any drivers...? ONLY ONE BUT AAAAHHHH I DID SEE LANDO!!! Not even one of my favs but it was soooooo surreal to see him, even from afar. As you can see above, everyone standing on the fences was blocking the view 🙄, but during the podium, I was focusing my camera btwn their legs and got literally one second of Lando 😭 I think its a pretty aesthetic clip, so I gifed it!!
It was so funny, I went to the gp with my brother and friends, so all these older guys yeah. And I was showing this off to them on the ride home, and his one friend was praising me so much for it 😭😭 like: "oh my god!!!! You could put this in an edit !!! This is so sick!!!!"
Oh one other thing!!! I think I've mentioned it before but my god, my favorite f1 podiums are always the ones with confetti, right?? AND THERE WAS CONFETTI AT THIS RACE!!!
LOOK AT HOW PRETTYYYYY!!!! And so anyways, I picked up so much confetti off the ground and now it lives forever in my phone case 🥰🥰🥰 I have no other room for pics on this post(for now) but oh my godddddddddd most of the confetti were just rectangles BUT THERE WAS ALSO ONES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS!!! SO COOL!!!!! And I also picked up a bunch of tire marbles off the ground!!! And a piece of plastic that probably came off some car. It was so funny when all of us were just scrounging off the ground. My bro's one friend somehow found a piece of carbon fiber, and we're all like "how can I kill him in his sleep and steal this from him..." But no the highlight actually of that process was watching my brother sprint to the podium, but stopping and grabbing a bunch of gravel first to shove in his pocket 😭😭😭
The other two days were fun as well, but also a lot of just dying in the heat and drinking a fuckton of red bull, so there's not too much specifically to say! I really liked hearing the cars. I think if you wanna know what's actually going on in a race, watching from home is better, but hearing the cars go by and seeing them is just so fucking sick. It was so funny to see grown men be like "I think I'm going to cry hearing these cars." I was really flexing on them with "uhhh yeah I've already been to a gp already 🙄🙄"
Anyways I ended the day by breaking bank by buying my dad and myself Fernando shirts because he is of course Fernando's biggest fan 🥰🥰 and I bought the most delicious overpriced lemonade, which I only drank half of bcs my brother proceeded to accidentally elbow it out of my hand....
OH WAIT ONE MORE DETAIL LOL. On Friday, my brother and his friend were waiting in line for smth and I was talking to them outside of the barrier. I look down, hmm theres a red cap abandoned on the ground, I pick it up, it is in fact a Ferrari hat. And that is how my brother acquired a $40+ dollar hat for free. Lucky bastard....I was the who found it!
#there is my experience kinda summed up???? i#i wanted to wait to answer this until i got all the random misc photos but alas i sitll havent#but its still very sweet to me that theu took pics of the drivers parade for me 🥺🥺#he was like “here is mclaren!!! and here is aston!!!!” THANK YOU STILL 🥹🥹#oh fuck wait i forgot to mention a crucial detail#on the wah home from the gp my brother's tire popped 😭😭😭😭#and im ofc chilling in the car while these three car men(horse girls tbf) change the tire#and theyre all covered in grease and i say “what a great way to end the day!' and his friend turns around anf gives me this face: 😐#various misfortunes but it was fine!!! it was great!!!!! just tiring#OH YEAH THE KILLERS WAS PRETTY COOL AS WELL!!!!!#basically: everything was sick 😎#except every time oscar and nando did badly and i would fall dramatically onto the ground bcs that's the type of persom i am#thank you so much for asking elle 🥺🥺🥺#if you hadnt prompted i prob wouldve never ended up recapping it#all i can say is im incredibly lucky to have all the experiences i did this year#catie.rambling.txt#catie.asks.#*OH MY GOD YEAH ONE THIGN#*i bought a new phone beforew this gp. for this gp tbh. bcs of the camers. i think it paid off pretty well no? 🤭
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Demon slayer SLEEPOVER (part 2)
(okay in this one we might get into the 14+) (the ships Tankana (HE IS A SIMP FOR HER AND ONLYYY HER(TANJIRO IS A SIMP FOR KANAO SO BE READY) Zeneku (nezuko and zenitzu) GeNmUi ( Genya X MUchiro) giyuXSHinObu or Sangiyu (i ship both ways) inoaoi) thats all i have to say oh and enjoy)
Giyu: who gave rengoku coffee...
mitsruri: he will be fine
tanjiro: i dont think so...
Nezuko: Mhmhmmm (nezuko nosies)\
Zenitzu: Mr Rengoku is umm...
sanemi: WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOF IDEA TO GIVE RENGOKU COFFEE
giyu: MItsuri
shinobu: oh kanao said she was going to be here soon-
Tanjiro: (simp mode attivated)
Inosuke: Lenjiro has gone simp mode agian
Zenitzu: YOU DUMB PIG ITS TANJIRO NOY LENJIRO
sanemi: ARE WE FORGETING ABOUT RENGOKU WHO IS CAFFINATED WITH FLASHY
(after that...*it took 1 hour* anyways they are about to start the game when all the sudden...KANAO WALKS IN)
Tanjiro: (smips even more)
shinobu: T-Tanjiro lets not reapet last time please
Tanjiro: (grins)
Sanemi,Zenitzu,Inosuke,Tegaen, Rengoku: what happened last time?
Shiobu: lets just say TAnjiro went into full simp mode...FULL SIMP MODE
sanemi; pff cant be that bad its tanjiro
shinobu: EVEN INOSUKE WAS SCARED
Genya, Muchiro: Dyamn
zenitzu: and they live,,,
kanao: should i be scared..
Tanjiro: Hey~
Kanao: h-hello tanjiro
Tanjiro: wanna Fuc-
Giyu: TANJIRO NOOOO
sanemi,muchiro,rengoku, tegan, mitsuri,inosuke,aoi,zenitzu:...
(nezuko is sleeping)'
Genya: brooo,,,wtf
Tanjiro: MY WIFE
Kanao: Tanjiro your scaring me
Tanjiro: grrrrr~
shinobu: TANJIRO I WILL TIE YOU UP
(another 10 minutes later the FINALLY sit down to play spin the bottle)
Genya: wait how do you play
Muchiro: umm...i forgot
mitsuri: sooo (explans it) and genya you go first
genya: W-What
snamei: oh dont be a little bitch
genya: fine (spins it and it lands on muchiro)
(genyas having a bi panic rn)
Genya: im not gayyyyyyyyyyy,,, wait or am i...
sanemi: ...
mitsuri: you have to kiss muchiro~
genya: FINEEEEE
muchiro: huh-
(genya kisses muchiro)
Everyone: ...........................
sanemi: god damn.. ik your gay but like
mitsuri:aww
genya: can we just move on....
Tanjiro: (still simping for his queen)
aoi: i made some snacks for everyone!
inoukse: FOOOOOODDDDDDD
rengoku: UMAI UMAI
aoi: (blushes at inoskue)
(TIME SKIP ITS NOW 11:00 and still no one is asleep)
Tanjrio: MARRY MEEEEEE KANAO
Kanao: tanjiro... this is the 5th time you have asked me
(im tired i spent 1 whole day making this ill make a part 3)
#demon slayer#sanemi shinazugawa#uzui tengen#kny#kny x reader#sanemi x reader#kny ships#shinazugawa sanemi#kimetsu no yaiba#kny oc#kny smut#kny fanart#my hero academia#mha x reader
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My thoughts on the Gundam: Witch from Mercury Episode 0/1
most g-witch haters: hating on lesbians
me, a g-witch disliker: intensely critical of gundam releases since iron blooded orphans (the pinnacle of all mid) and disappointed in the disparity between a baby killing soldiers in the prologue and finding out "oh they actually settle debates at school with gundam fights xD", the latter of which, being, just barely removed from gundam build fighters just with some added terrorism and war in the backdrop is extremely disappointing
all im saying is, if the school setting is like 95% of this show you can unfollow cause i will slander it every week just as hard as i have tokyo revengers. for me, it's not even about that its set in school, code geass is too and they still managed to have some sick as fuck moments and its the same writer, but i do not trust any gundam AU to be good because IBO was fine in the first half but became complete dogshit by the end of the 2 seasons (50 episodes) and this show only has 25 so I don't want to waste my time if it is mostly set in school
it did not go over my head that it's basically utena, the author wrote some of the novels for that franchise
But I am relatively disappointed with the jump from the serious space politics in the prologue to the military school juvenile drama of Episode 1 and the MC being in a lesbian romance doesn't really change the quality of writing for me. Happy for y'all but it was pretty disappointing to see the tone change up, and if it remains a story about what was relatively petty at school (granted Guel is a fucking dickhead, but you'd have to be watching w your eyes closed not to be able to glean that much)
As far as having a lesbian main character in a major mecha franchise that isn't a new one, that's all well and good, I'm happy for that since Tomino originally said something akin to only Fujoshi really understand what gundam is about, and I don't think he meant that there's romantic subtext in the most explicit sense but detected aspects of their character that people who didn't try to pair characters together couldn't see as clearly as the shippers did (which is hilarious since no creator would ever say this now). Now in G-Witch there's overt context which you would have to willfully be ignorant to ignore the setup for, especially when they recreated shot for shot entire scenes and tropes from Utena.
Still, I don't really care who ends up with who in the majority of things I watch, so the tone jump between the prologue and episode 1 really pissed me off.
I've seen Code Geass, and this whole school shit better be a smokescreen, cause if we have to unironically watch student duels for the next 10 episodes I'm reducing this series into the ground bro you're gonna have to block me to avoid the slander
I'm kinda just tired of everything that isn't part of the UC, or 00 being dog shit
IBO was bad, build series is cool in a cool robot kind of way but it's really annoying me that the writing is this piss poor for a pilot episode
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you want to know what i think abput in a day ok
9:00 am ugh why fuck do i have to get up
9:05 am im hungry
9:06 am where the fucks the cat
9:10 am found him
9:15 am allright fuck you to im gonna watch taylor swift videos
10:15 am i still need to eat
10:45 am ugh i dont wanma do school work today
1:45 pm hated every second of that now i can get ready
1:46 pm wheres my phone i wanna play music
1:46 pm shit do i have cheer today
2:40 pm im ready
2:41 pm oh shit i have to leave or yay taylor time again
4:30 pm yay i can finally practice my songs
5:30 pm my fingers are about to bleed i need to take a break for the sake of my tumbling
5:31 pm its time to go on tumblr
6:00 pm practice time again
6:30 pm ugh i dont wanna stop i need to eat dinner
7:00 pm yay me time again lets play my songs again
8:00 pm i need tk shower
8:30 pm i wanna watch tv now
10:45 pm i should write in my diary
11:30 pm i hate the world
12:00 am im tired i wanna go to bed
im gonna go back to playing, ot is currently 5:08
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»»𝙳𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜««
Summary: Vernon had a tendency of getting drunk and making mistakes and you knew that but, this mistake has crossed the line for you and your relationship.
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Describes hard to breathe/panic attack
Genre: angst to fluff
Pairing: Vernonx gn y/n
Words: 660
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Vernon 1:36 am
Let's break up y/n.
Y/N 1:36 am
What? Why? Are you drunk?
Y/N 2:00 am
Vernon!!! Answer my calls!
What the fuck dude?!?!?!
You can’t just say that and not respond!!!
Y/N 2:45 am
You know what.
FINE whatever let’s break up!
You throw your phone across the room and start to uncontrollably sob. Your whole body shaking, the tears creasing your face and soaking the collar of your shirt. The feeling of being abandoned and alone starts creeping over your body, making you panic more. The in air your lungs stars to become harder to breathe, you get your phone and call Vernon in hope that he would answer. He doesn’t answer but you leave a voicemail you just sob for a second “why…. I thought we were doing okay!!!” you say screaming at the phone knowing it would be no use. You manage to get out another sentence but its incoherent words falling from your lips “I gave you my everything. everything Vernon and now you want to break up I don’t understand why” the voicemail ends and your there sitting alone in your apartment. After a few hours the sun starts to rise you are still crying in your living room watching sad melodrama movies. You decide to call Jeonghan in hope of an answer of what happened.
“Hey Jeonghan”
“What’s up Y/N? Why do you sound so sick? Are you good”
“I don’t know” you say as your voice starts to break
“I think Vernon broke up with me last night....”
“What!!!! What do you mean by that?!?!”
“He texted me telling me that he wanted to break up..” you say eventually sobbing through the phone
“I’m gonna go look for Vernon and get an answer out of him, okay?” Jeonghan says in a sweet voice
“Okay, thank you” you say softly back
Later that day Jeonghan texts you telling you that Vernon is no where to be found, and that the other members haven’t heard from him either. That makes you worry but you still remember what he done to you earlier. As night comes you get ready for bed as your whole body is killing you for nearly crying for 24 hours. As you were laying in bed slowly dozing off you head your front door open, and hear Vernon’s voice “Y/N! Y/N!”
You pretend to sleep in hopes that he would just leave your apartment. He enters your room to see you ‘sleeping’ he sighs and starts to cry silently he starts to talk to you thinking you were sleeping “I fucked up big time to the person I care about the most and now......” he pauses for a brief moment “I don’t think you want me back Y/N…. I was so drunk I didn’t even realize what I was doing Im so sorry Y/N” he says as he voice starts to break, as you hear his voice break you feel tears start to from in your eyes. You get out of bed quickly surprising Vernon and you give him a big hug you start to sob “I was so scared” you say “I know I’m so sorry i didn’t mean to ever hurt you” he hugs you tight to make sure that you know that he’s not going anywhere “I don’t have any intention of breaking up with you anytime soon sweetheart so don’t worry” he says stroking your hair and back. All you can do during this is just sob into the crook of his neck. “let’s go to bed okay? you must be very tired” he says quietly you nod and get in bed Vernon goes to get a cup of water for you, and proceeds to lay down in bed with you. You slowly start to doze off in his arms feeling the warmth of his body and feeling him close to you.
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authors notes
This is the first time I post something like this so I really hope you enjoy it!
#seventeen#svt#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#vernon fluff#svt vernon#seventeen vernon#vernon chwe#hansol chwe#vernon x reader#vernon x you#vernon angst
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Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics
Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend.
*music*
0:23
Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight
0:46 - 1:00
And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.
1:00-1:15
Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened
1:15-1:24
This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.
1:22 - 1:44
You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin
1:41- 1: 50
Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.
1:52-2:02
I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,
2:03-:2:20
I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general
2:20- 2:46
Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves
2:46 -2:55
I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.
2:55-3:40
I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth
… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man
I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce
“Say my name”
4:00-4:46
Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec, get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,
Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone, it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit
4:48-5:02
You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor, cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool
5:02- 5:17
This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna
5:18-5:36
…
5:36- 6:16
Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.
Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.
I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.
6:16-6:32
I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.
Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.
6:33- 6:53
Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days
I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all, I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off
6:54-7:12
Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.
So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt
7:14-7:29
.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement
Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths
7:46-7:58
Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker, i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker
I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face
I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze
8:09-8:11
Feeling trapped this industry is a cage
8:34-8:50
Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.
Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.
8:52-9:11
Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity
Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different
9:12-9:25
got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.
20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat
9:25-9:35
Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them
‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.
9:35-9:45
I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.
9:45-9:55
I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again
9:55-10:16
Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.
I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.
10:17-10:29
My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.
I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.
10:30- 10:42
Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.
10:42 - 10:47
Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.
…no words coming out when you open your mouth
And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art
11:00-11:06
Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped
tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor
11:06- 11:17
Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun, seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.
*music*
11:51- 12:34
I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way
Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same
Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some, get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night
Why these men be nice to my face, be nice, i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe
Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece
Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip
Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick
12:37-13:05
Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex
Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself
Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help
Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in
Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed
13:05- 13:27
For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free
But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed
I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen
I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please
Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease
(Music)
13:34- 14:12
Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks
Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor
Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must
Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust
Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks
In the projects, in the objects us
In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid
Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid
Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist
14:46-14:58
I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way
Ain’t no mistake, i am a being
I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus
All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature
14:58-15:40
That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.
Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.
Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine
Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.
Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best
Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here
15:40-16:22
Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance
Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol
I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon, this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might
16:22-16:57
Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here
16:58- 17:47
Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days
Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake
Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch
They see me do it and they know it works
Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse
You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting
Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea
Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next
Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is
17:47
*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *
18:04-18:38
Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it
If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this
I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures
We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together
Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle
18:38- 19:14
Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends
Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness
I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me
I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting
Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself
I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best
19:14-19:59
They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath
Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art
Never winning,im just scared
Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night
I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right
Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level
Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day
I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku
How much do you pay for them to hype you
Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.
20:01-20:52
The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.
Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.
My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.
Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another
Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them
20:53-21:12
I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.
Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner
21:12-21:51
The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide
This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man
Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session
21:52-22:03
Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.
22:03-22:15
Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference
*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by
Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head
Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”
23:10-23:46
They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name
Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing
We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown
I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it
23:45-23:59
Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way
talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain
24:00-24:40
Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days
Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days
Singing the song for another, singing a song for another
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dear god WHY AM I AWAKE???????
#help its 1:30 and i CANNOT sleep#the fuck#i went to bed at like 8:30#ive just been slipping in and out of conciousness the whole night#also WHY ARE MY DAD AND GRANDMA UP AT 1:00?????????#LIKE#STOP PUTTERING ABOUT ITS SO LATE I WANT TO BE ASLEEP#I HEARD MY DAD MAKING COFFEE???? WHY#ITS ONE IN THE MORNING#IM SO TIRED#IVE BEEN TRYING TO SLEEP FOR HOURS#WHY AM I CURSED WITH CONCIOUSNESS#I WANNA CRY#spilling the Tea#personal#merry christmas i guess
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April 08, 2021
8:45 am
Im already so fucking tired, but I finished my plan for today. I waiting for my brother to start online classes so I can go and exercise a little without him noticing. Then I will shower and prepare my lunch.
Today I'll see the therapist again and I'm really anxious because I dont like how she handled this whole thing last time and I refuse to see a nutritionist, first of all because Im already spending so much for her. Maybe I'll lie a little about how I'm eating even if the number are higher than last week so it should be ok.
9:01 am
I really feel the need to go into a bar and buy something sweet for breakfast, but I'll push aside this feeling and wait until the day I'll see again one of my friend. Knowing her we will probably eat sushi together, so I'll save a cheat day for that. We are still locked inside because of covid so there is time.
I forgot to say im uh, 61,90kg this morning? I was 62,2kg right when I woke up but it was really early so idk, I'll see before lunch.
Yesterday before I went to sleep I tried some clothes to wear today and I thought I would feel cool in but I really hated what I saw in the mirror, so it lowered my self esteem a lot. Hope today will get better.
10:07 am
Just burned 500kcal, I planned to eat less than 600 today. Time to meet the scale again, then shower and prepare my lunch. I'll try cottage cheese and I hope to like it.
61,85kg? This sound nice?
12:14 pm
I finished to dry my hair and I found some clothes that fit a little better, my lunch is almost ready so I can rest a little. I feel really tired rn but since I have to walk a lot after the bus for reach my therapist I want to save energy for that.
1:45 pm
Im crying in the bathroom because the peppers were so spicy and I didnt eat them, I really hate wasting food...
At least I liked the cottage cheese...
5:00 pm
Lied to the therapist 👌🏻 I will ser her in a little less than 2 weeks so I have time to work on myself without stressing about her. Now Im waiting mom to pick me up, I just realised I have to try the hero marmelade at home and I really hope it tastes good because the calories are really low.
6:28 pm
Marmelade was good, I allowed myself ro eat a little bit more because I was so tired but I'll exercise later so its fine.
7:12 pm
Im too tired, I burned only 250kcal, but I want to burn another 1000 after dinner. Im already regretting the food I ate early, I just need to be strong at dinner. Cmon bitch, you can do it.
9:56 pm
Ok I did good at dinner, Im burning calories (319/1000) and later I'll take some time for do a mask or something.
We'll trip this weekend so for stay busy I will bring with me my recipe book, so I can write down all the safe recipes and food, I was thinking about make it on my phone but I prefer to do it on paper so there is no chance for me to lose it.
Ugh, Im so tired... Im happy tomorrow I can sleep a little bit more...
11:56 pm
I asked to my parents what I should cook for tomorrow lunch FOR THEM and idk why they were pissed off. I have my lunch planned so its their problem.
I finished to exercise, It was hard but Im really happy. I want to do a face mask now and plan what I should bring with me for the weekend.
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Just Friends| Part Two
A Timothée Chalamet Imagine: Part One Part Three Part Four Part Five
Female!Reader, Dancer/Actress!Reader, CoStar!Reader, FrenchSpeaking!Reader//2800 Words
Summary of part one// Reader and Timothée are best friends. They are going to be costars on a new movie where Y/n plays a dancer and has a small, but still important, role, and Timothée’s a lead. There’s a storm and Y/n’s hotel is having issues, so she has to stay in Timothée’s apartment.
Warnings// Grammar/spelling and lack of proofreading//Extra soft Timmy; Cursing; Really soft fluff: y/n’s side of it is romantic, but Timothée just sees it in a platonic way, it’s really beautiful in a sad way. IM SORRY ITS SO FUCKING SLOW AND LITERAL SHIT, i like kinda know where I’m going with it, but like I don’t. Just send me a request with how you want it to go please...let me know!
Key: French writing (english translation), Y/n/n-Your nickname, Y/f/n-Your first name, Y/l/n-Your last name
(Added July 2020) Note: this whole series was written before Ansel Elgort’s allegations arose, and honestly, in the most disrespectful way possible: I hope he rots in hell. I ALWAYS stand with the victim, and if that’s going to be a problem, find another series to read. If the mention of his name is triggering to you, PLEASE do not read. If you or anyone you know has been sexually assaulted or abused, do not be afraid to speak up, but if that’s not the route you personally want to take: you can call 1-800-656-4673, available 24 hours every day and 100% confidential.
this is the apartment I used for inspiration//I put links in the specific rooms when they were mentioned so it would feel more ~real~ lol.
You knocked on the door. It was almost 4:00, but it felt like 2:00AM with the time difference combined with your lack of sleep. You glanced a peak at yourself in the reflection of the door, and your face dropped as you saw yourself, instantly becoming extra conscious of the way you looked. You eyes were still a little a little watery, but it didn’t look like you were crying too much. The rain had wet your hair, and your face, and your mascara stained your under-eyes. You sighed realizing you’d already knocked and didn’t have any time to fix yourself.
The door opened. You put on a soft smile and let out a weak little hi. Timothée took one look at your mascara-stained face and pulled you into his apartment. His arms wrapped around your waist as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. You peeked your eyes up to look into the apartment. You were both in the small sitting room, but you caught a glimpse of the kitchen. It was beautiful. White, clean, cozy, and perfect.
“I’m getting your hoodie all wet.” You laughed into his neck, feeling more comfortable in his arms than you had felt in a very long time. You smiled as you pulled away, a tired, but genuine smile.
“I don’t mind,” he looked into your eyes as you suddenly became super aware of his hands lingering on your waist, “let me show you to your room, Mademoiselle.”
“Si vous insistez, mon ami.” (If you insist, my friend.) You reached for your bags, but Timothée practically slapped your hand out of the way, insisting he’d bring them to your room while you were in the shower.
He led you down a short hallway, right by the entrance, adjacent to a bookcase.
“Well this is it,” he motioned to the room, it was blue, your favorite, which made you smile. You admired the pattern on the walls as he continued to talk about the room, “And this is the bathroom, the storm shut off the power a couple hours ago, so the heat still isn’t back on, but the hot water heater should be good. I’ll bring your stuff in while you shower...and extra blankets,” he giggled as his mind brought him back to your apartment in New York. You had the largest collection of blankets he’d ever seen.
“Thank you, I swear I’ll be out of here by tomorrow, I’ll call the hotel tomorrow morning to check on their status, but I think the system should be up by-”
“Stop. Please tell me you’re kidding, you’re staying here as long as you need to.” He stood in the doorway of the room, resting his head against the wall.
“Timothée...I couldn’t-” your fear of imposing was crawling back into your system, but to be honest, that wasn’t the biggest issue you had with this. You’re main problem was the idea of being stuck in a small, romantic apartment, in what happened to be the most romantic city on earth, with the last guy you wanted to feel romantic about at the moment.
“How long do they need you on set?” you sighed, knowing where this was going.
“Four weeks, then I have interviews and cameos lined up for two weeks after, then I’m flying back to New York, so technically six weeks-”
“Okay, well they need me here for two months and a half, that’s...” you giggled as he did the simple math in his head, “Ten weeks. So you are staying here, with me, in this apartment for the six weeks you need to be here.”
“Timothée...” the exhaustion was starting to really hit you.
“I’m not taking no for an answer, now go shower.” you caved.
“TMZ is going to LOVE this one,” you waved your hands in the air as you walked into the bathroom.
“I’m already expecting a very angry call from Celine once Kelsey lets her know,” you giggled as he mentioned his publicist, who always seemed to have an issue with something. You closed the door of the bathroom and sighed as you undressed.
After showering you dried your hair and picked up your phone, you hadn’t checked it since you were at the hotel. There was a missed call from your mom, so you left her a voicemail and quickly updated her on your situation. Kelsey had called about fifteen times in the past hour, and you did not plan on calling her back.
You stared at yourself in the mirror as you dried your hair until was at least damp. You put some blush over your cheeks once you realized it was only a little past 4:30. You put on leggings and a cropped-sweatshirt and you left your cozy room. You walked into the living room and spotted Timothée eating off of a plate of fruit at the kitchen counter while talking to his phone, you admired his outfit. He was wearing a dark green hoodie, simple, but the way it brought out his eyes made the butterflies in your stomach do flips.
“And there she is...” you heard him say to his screen, “I’m live on instagram. I was telling our fans the situation you’d gotten yourself into...” You rolled your eyes as you grabbed a strawberry and bit into it. He turned around the phone to show you to the camera, you waved and his fans went crazy, of course, “A situation, that wouldn’t have occurred, if you’d agreed to stay with me in the first place,”
“Whatever, Timothée,” you laughed.
“Okay guys I’m gonna sign off...uh...how do I end this thing?” Timothée was probably the most intelligent man you knew, but his lack of energy on social media did not leave him particularly knowledgeable in moments like these.
“You have to click the ‘end live’ button.”
“Where’s that?”
“C'est dans le coin,” (it’s in the corner)
“Non, c'est ma photo de profil,” (no, that’s my profile picture)
“Ugh, laisse-moi le faire.” (let me do it) You grabbed his phone and waved goodbye to his fans as you ended the live. You laughed with him as you placed a bet on who would get the most calls from your publicists.
“Tu as faim? (are you hungry?) We could go out to a cafe a couple blocks away if you want.” He smiled as he popped a blueberry into his mouth and went to the refrigerator, grabbing whipped cream, your favorite, and a plate, where he put some whipped cream on it. You thanked him while you picked up another strawberry and dipped it in the whipped cream, melting over the fact that you didn’t have to ask.
“You know, I’m kinda hungry, mais je suis très, très fatigué... (but I am very, very tired)” you usually would’ve toughed it out and gone to dinner, having been pretty good at faking your way through a dinner at this point, but you were at a whole new level of sleep-deprived.
“Okay, so how about we get a couple margarita pizzas delivered and watch a movie. Sonne bien? (Sound good?)”
“That sounds amazing.” you sighed out of relief.
“The menu on my nightstand has the number on it, I’ll go call.” he squeezed your shoulder and walked into his room. You walked around, running your fingers over the bookshelves throughout the apartment. You smiled as your eyes laid on Call Me By Your Name, the book cover having the picture of him and Armie on it. You thought back to the night you’d met, and how nervous you were. You pulled the book out from the bookshelves, running your fingers over the cover. You thought about that little crush you’d had on him, how sweet he’d been to you, how he remained to be the same easy to talk to guy no matter how many more lead roles he booked. You felt your face heating up as you realized how it’d already felt too long since Ansel had teased you about it. You skimmed through the book, trying to find your moments, but you shut it as fast as you could once you found yourself imagining Timothée kissing you instead of Armie.
“L'avez-vous lu?” (Have you read it?) you jumped, dropping the book on the ground. Timothée was once again resting in the doorway of yet another room, he laughed once he realized he’d scared you.
“Yeah, actually, I read it the night after the premiere, wanted to see if it was as good as the move.” you giggled as you picked up the book and put it back in the bookcase while collecting yourself.
“What was the verdict?”
“I still think the movie was better, but if I anyone asks, I never said that...”
“Alright, I won’t say anything, I appreciate it though.” he laughed when he spoke. That smile was killing you. The doorbell rang and Timothée went to grab the pizza. You two ate and talked for a while, discussing the upcoming movie. You talked about how excited you were, you hadn’t danced in a movie since the one you were in with Zendaya. After you finished eating Timothée cleaned up and you argued over a movie to watch in his room.
“Y/n. You’ve never seen Pride and Prejudice? That has to be illegal in some countries. Everyone’s seen Pride And Prejudice!” You think this might’ve been the maddest you’d ever seen him before.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, the opportunity’s never presented itself. Let’s watch Marriage Story, we can watch Pride And Prejudice tomorrow? When I’m not about pass out from exhaustion...?”
“D’accord, d’accord, (okay, okay) fine. Marriage Story it is...” you let out a silent yes as you both walked into his room. He pulled back the closet doors to reveal a rather nice TV.
“Yay!” you giggled flopping down onto the right side of his bed, “This is the first time I’ve officially laid on a bed in about 40 hours.”
He smiled, typing in Marriage Story on Netflix before laying down on the opposite side of the bed.
About an hour and a half into the movie, about the fifth time you’d almost drifted off into sleep, you’d noticed Timothée had practically covered his whole body except for his eyes in a blanket. You took one look at him and bursted into laughter.
“Fuck off, I don’t understand how you’re not freezing right now.” he was right, it was pretty cold in the apartment, since the heat still wasn’t up yet.
“I like the cold...and the sound of the rain, this is all pretty relaxing to me...” you laughed.
“Okay fine then, come here.” he opened his arm towards you and your eyes snapped to meet his.
“What?”
“Come here, I’m cold, I need your body heat.” You’d cuddled with Timothée on multiple occasions, but all of them led to you stuck in your thoughts at night as feelings resurfaced, and most of them led to you realizing you never wanted to leave his arms. You looked into his pleading green eyes and melted, moving over and shifting yourself so you were right up against him. His arm reached around you and you laid your head on his chest. A couple minutes later, he spoke again.
“You know, you can go to sleep if you want.” he whispered as he started to lightly drag his hand up and down your back, you felt lucky you were way too tired to give it a second thought. You looked over to the clock on the nightstand, it was only 6:00.
“Non, je ne peux pas. (no, I can’t) I have to wake up early tomorrow and start learning a turn sequence for rehearsal. I can’t really risk my sleep schedule right now, you know that.” you muttered into his chest. You knew if you went to sleep now, you’d wake up at midnight and not be able to sleep, then fall into a schedule of going to bed at dinner time, which wouldn’t work out well with your schedule for the movie.
“There’s only a half hour or so left in the movie, go to sleep and I promise I’ll wake you up when it ends, you haven’t slept in so long,” he started to draw circles on the exposed space between your leggings and your sweatshirt, his cold, soft, fingers giving you goosebumps, “détends-toi.” (just relax) You sighed into his chest as his hands started to lull you to sleep.
“Y/n, the movie’s over,” You awoke to Timothée lightly whispering in your ear. You leaned up and rubbed your eyes.
“Hi.” your eyes met his.
“Hi sleeping beauty.” He smiled and you blushed at the nickname. He knew it reminded of you the ballet, making your eyes light up every time you spoke about it. You realized how close his face was to yours. You became strongly aware of how close his lips were to yours, how easy it would be to just inch a little closer, and meet them with yours, and more importantly, how bad you wanted to. How bad you wanted to make that tiny little space vanish. You snapped out of it once you’d realized you were staring, hoping he didn’t notice too, but he did, he always did, you just didn’t know it. It was a quarter till seven, you sat up on the bed, and he did with you, needing to keep yourself busy so you wouldn’t fall asleep again. He kept his arm around you, and you two started to talk. You loved the late night talks you had, wether it was at midnight or just after lunch. You eventually made your way to the living room, and Timothée poured you both glasses of wine as you took your seat on the couch.
“So, are you nervous for your first day of rehearsals?” He handed you your glass and put his arm back around you. It was a stupid question, of course you were nervous, you were always nervous, about every new opportunity that came your way.
“Yeah, I’ve gotta a couple turn sequences to memorize tomorrow. I just hope I don’t embarrass myself too much.” you were beyond nervous to work with the choreographer on this movie.
“Stop, you’ll be fine, they didn’t even audition you. They practically begged you to be in this film.” he wasn’t wrong, the director had reached out himself, saying he didn’t even need to see you, he’d just send you the script and wait for your response.
“Doesn’t mean I’m good enough for the role though, you know? They haven’t even seen me in the choreography, or how I fit with the other dancers, or any of it. I could be a total mess and they couldn’t do anything about it.”
“You’ve got to stop doubting yourself, do I have to remind you who you are?” He playfully shoved you, “I’ll never understand how you flawlessly played Sleeping Beauty in front of 3,800 people once a week for six months, but you somehow still doubt yourself when you’re just going to be in a room with a couple people?” he had a good point, but you didn’t see it like that.
“First of all, and you know this better than I do, the lights block out the audience when you’re on stage. And second of all, doing that show every day is ten million times less scary than being judged in a small room with people that matter.”
“I know what you mean..., but I still think you’re too good to doubt yourself...”
“Oh really Mr. Hotshot?” it was you shoving him this time.
“One day...y/n/n...,” he took a sip of his wine, “...one day I’m gonna get you to realize how amazing you are.” You looked at him and sighed.
“One day...,” you took a sip of your wine before sitting in down on the coffee table, it was finally past ten, you’d been talking for hours and barely realized. You could finally go to bed without ruining your sleep schedule, “I should probably head to bed.”
“I’ll get your glass, goodnight Y/n.”
“Goodnight Timothée.”
And there it was again, there you were again. You were doing what you knew you’d be doing the second you caved and allowed yourself to fall into his arms during the movie. The same as you did any time the two of you had gotten remotely close to each other. Every time you sat together on the couch in Z’s apartment. Every time Ansel had made a joke about your little crush, the one that was beginning to grow larger and larger. Damn. You were in for a long night of over-thinking.
Some of you asked to be tagged holy shit you guys have no idea how happy that makes me oh my god, I’m still tagging ppl btw, my phone’s dead lol so I’m on my mac:
@sspidermanss @fandom-food-fire @gigi-maria-argu @meaganl124 @danidomm
I DONT LIKE THIS NEARLY AS MUCH AS I LIKE THE FIRST PART IM SORRY :(( I LOVE YOU GUYS THOUGH THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE ON THE FIRST PART. IDK WHAT IM GONNA DO FOR PART THREE. I wanted to like make him start dating Lily and then y/n like cries to Zendaya and I had a lot of thought about that...please let me know about part 3!!!!!!
#timothee chalamet#timothée chalamet imagine#timothée chalamet#timothée smut#timothée x reader#armie x timothee#zendaya#ansel elgort#timothee fanfic#timothee x reader#timothee x you#timothee red carpet#timotheetea#timothée#just friends
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IT’S BoB LIVEBLOG TIME
Episode 1 is under the cut!
Warning, I swear a lot... and am very in love with RSJ so a lot of this was just me pointing at the screen and screaming RICH and then remembering you can’t see me so writing it down...
Episode 1: Curahee! Curaahhee? Curraahhee? I can’t spell so I’m renaming it Ross is a punk bitch
Buckle up my babies, this will be a carcrash!
00:01 Here we fucking go aw yis
00:11 Aw who’s this? I wish they named the gentlemen at the start of the episodes, I wanna know who is who :s
00:25 Shifty, is that you my angel son?
00:41 OMG you guys… these men are breaking my heart </3
01:06 Lord, men were committing suicide because they couldn’t go to fight? That mentality… man. Oh my God, you angels. Babies.
01:36 No jokes allowed, every man is <3
01:40 Now that I’m humbled and we’re all well and truly miserable…the credits, ugh, my heart. The score is amaziiiing. Some of the footage is actual war-time footage, I read, which is a brilliant touch.
02:01 DICK <3
02:13 DICK’S HUSBAND <3
02:18 RSJ’S NAAAAAME
02:27 JFC this music makes me so emotional. Look there’s Matthew Settle’s face. That makes me emotional too
02:48 Ah it’s Roe <3
03:48 I’m trying to pick them all out in the line-up but I can’t tell who is who. Are we supposed to be able to? There’s a short one in the middle, is that Harry?
03:49 I’m not drunk enough to handle this
04:10 Upottery? Ah it’s so English I love it. That’s not a name! Wtf is up with English place-names, you guys have the weirdest names. Upottery? Seriously? Is it only potters that live there? I’m so confused
04:22 Close up of Roe! Perfect. I approve.
04:32 Is that the guy from Line of Duty? I think it is
04:39 Lip <3
04:44 Ew. GTFO Cobb. He doesn’t even go here
04:47 IS THAT RICH? RICH. ILY. ILY RICH. Please note that 94% of this will be a Rich-watch
04:53 Lieb stop. I am sure you are not a certified hairdresser
04:56 RICH. SMOKING. SMOKING RICH. More like smoking hot do you see what I did there?
05:20 I can categorically say that I love Joe Toye. I do. I love him. But every time I see Kirk Acevedo, all I think of is Charlie my baby from Fringe (awesome show, please watch it). And I just. Charlieee <3
05:39 Aw. They’re so sad
05:55 They’re so despondent. Guys. It’s fine
06:05 Fassy?? FASSY!!
06:18 God Damien is pretty
06:25 Nix that’s not how you flirt
06:57 Lol at Dick noting its happy hour. Thinking about taking Nix on a date, are we? I bet you are. Now THAT is how you flirt!
07:24 OMG the fucking flirting! GUYS. “And give up all this?” NIX SAYS AS HE CHECKS HIM OUT
07:37 Yeah, Nix, you’ll take him ‘to Chicago’ huh? Is that what they call it nowadays.
07:44 Do you want to be that cigarette? ‘Cos there is nothing heterosexual about that lingering look, Dick
08:18 ‘Murica time
08:25 Ross, fuck off. Nice jacket though. “You PEOPLE are at the position of attention” ugh GTFO. Dick’s sideye tho lol
08:52 NGL Ross does a great job at being super unlikeable
09:05 Noooo you don’t want it with Johnny Martin. You wont win. Yeah, walk away Ross
09:15 Careful around Lip too, or Speirs will materialize out of thin air and snap your neck
09:33 RICH. Don’t be scared of that douchebag, baby
09:43 What kind of question is that, there is nothing Lieb wants more!
09:50 It’s weird hearing Ross swear tho
10:26 Don’t argue with Johnny, baby. Also Roe OMG <3 Shane is freaking fit
10:43 Wow Lip is ripped
10:48 Oh no, poor baby. Lip leave him be ☹ </3
11:10 LOL I just noticed the drum by the door. It says ‘butts’ and it took me a seconds to realise it was for cigarettes. I am an adult (31-year-old married woman). I’ll laugh at the word butts if I want.
11:11 RICH
11:18 Lieb omg lol
11:39 RICH BABY NO! FUCK OFF ROSS! LEAVE HIM ALONE OR I WILL HAVE SPEIRS CUT YOU
11:52 I can’t take Ross seriously in those shorts. Hi-ho GTFO
12:07 Ew fuck off running up that, I’d just nope out like nah babe imma go chill with that sweet baby back in the butts cabin
12:18 Aw Dick <3 The juxtaposition of Dick as a leader compared to Sobel who sure he might be honing them into something formidable and skilled but he’s an asshole. He’s not a leader. He’s a bullying, abusive scumbag. Dick is an actual leader who protects them and supports them and encourages them and IHAVEALOTOFFEELINGSOK
12:43 You don’t deserve that sick jacket, Ross. Seriously. That is a boss jacket, I want it
13:04 Have they not stopped fucking working out all this time? Ugh
13:23 Oh good, Dick gets a boss jacket too. He deserves it.
13:30 I wish people had to ask me for permission to speak.
13:53 I just. He. I can’t with Dick Winters, you guys. I cannot. I have lost the ability to can. Like they’re so upset and tired and low and just with that little joke he boosts their morale back up from where Sobel fucking beat it down into the mud and makes everything lighter and they laugh and are less tense and I just. Fucking love you, Dick.
14:00 Is that my angel son? I see you Shifty, love you baby
14:03 RICH. DON’T TOUCH MY RICH.
14:07 Oh my God, address them yourself you weirdo, Ross. They’re right there, you’re right there! I had a colleague that used to do the same, would get me to speak to my employees for her when they were right there in front of her like… ‘can you tell x to do y for me pls…’ … I was like wtf you know you CAN talk to them… you won’t catch poor just by speaking to people lower down the pecking order
14:22 Fassy! Wtf they’re not supposed to drink? Dehydration is legit one of the most dangerous things, how tf can you turn them into high-key supersoldiers if they’re dehydrated? How is this man so dumb? The guy in front of Fassy tho omg. I bet Fassy’s boss wife Alicia Vikander won’t like her husband being treated that way… she’s so badass tho right?
14:26 He’s so dramatic! Ugh
15:11 Piss off omg
15:24 oh my DVD flipped its shit here, only picked back up at 16:30 don’t @ me
16:52 RICH WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU RICH
17:21 Shifty my angel son
17:46 so sweet
18:04 Sink, babe, no he is the worst, stop
18:20 LOL no, he’s jel as fuck babe
18:32 NO FUN ALLOWED. Im sorry, that tie is so ugly
18:44 Simon Pegg??!!
18:51 Ross is so dramatic God shut up. it’s not a conspiracy, weirdo
19:10 “It’s a can of peaces, sir.” Iconic.
19:11 Dick’s tiny smile is equally iconic.
19:17 SHUT UP ROSS
19:44 He wants to be punched, I think, like he’s goading them. The sick fuck.
20:47 DON’T TRUST HIM, DICK!
21:02 ROE <3
21:31 Hoobler, aw <3
21:37 I warned you not to trust him, boys
21:54 Ah boys, oh no
22:04 RICH. Kick him, baby
22:17 Bull, punch him, seriously
22:24 Oh Luz <3
22:26 Yeah GTFO, suck it, bitch
23:06 Who is this? Fella’s hot
23:40 RICH. FASSY. WEB. TAB.
24:19 Suck it, Ross
24:30 Real footage?
24:41 Lol you suck Ross
25:23 RICH. SMOKING RICH.
25:26 Bill omg
25:45 Perco, baby, no. don’t talk to Johnny Martin. Don’t look at Johnny Martin. Don’t so much as think about Johnny Martin. He will fuck you up with his gaze alone, baby
25:56 Ah Luz
26:06 OK. That’s hot. Joe/Charlie don’t be hot. It confuses me
26:42 Winnix being husbands in the corner
27:42 YOU’RE in the wrong position, dumbass, it’s no one else’s fault
27:46 Dick’s come to save the day
27:56 Ross knows nothing omg
28:05 RICH. Even my Rich is confused, Ross, you dweeb
28:20 Lol at Dick dropping down ready for a fight
28:36 Fassy isn’t happy. That means Alicia Vikander is coming for you. Joe/Charlie is definitely not happy. Lip is upset. Think about your life, Ross, think about your choices. You know you’ve failed when Roe is judging you
28:57 Nix is like lol where tf is the alcohol tho
28:59 Harry! Harry is here! But yes, baby, you’re interrupting the husband’s foreplay, leave immediately
30:00 Lol at the Nix vs Ross staredown. Nix won
30:17 RICH. GUYS IT’S RICH
30:33 Do it, Lieb. Drop the grenade. Just don’t upset my angel son Shifty
30:40 He is a literal angel. Don’t corrupt him Lieb
30:59 Nix is having another crack at flirting. “Going my way” so suave omg. Omg stop. No wait don’t
31:09 “I’m not the intelligence officer.” Neither is Nix half the time babe let’s be fair
31:14 “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” Nix is getting better at flirting! He’s been attending flirting 101 classes it seems
31:40 They’re legit such husbands prove me wrong
32:00 He’s not joking, Dick
32:06 Harry’s like oh yay yes please
32:11 Lol Nix
33:03 Ugh. Men. I feel like that hold smells so bad.
33:09 RICH. Naw, Rich is sad he’s missing out on the flamingos.
33:32 Joe/Charlie you deserve a day to commemorate you tbh. I love you.
33:46 “My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.” Bill is iconic.
34:34 Lieb, honey, don’t, please
34:49 I feel you, random hot guy. Tipper?
35:05 Eyyy this place is nice, let’s all move there.
35:17 Shifty, my angel son, my baby <3
35:26 Yay, Harry gets a boss jacket too!
36:22 Mum and Dad of Easy. I’m low-key living for Lip’s little worried faces.
36:33 THAT JACKET IS SICK AS FUCK I WANT 20
36:38 The fence is there, Ross, because you’re so fucking dumb
36:51 Guys, look, cows
37:06 He’s fucking useless. Hi Simon Pegg.
37:22 RICH
37:25 This whole scene gives me life and waters my crop
37:31 RICH <3. YOU GUYS. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. RICH RICH RICCCCHHHH
37:42 Poor Tip is so done
37:58 Simon Pegg is so confused
38:04 Good job, Tipper, I’m proud of you and your pretty face
38:10 Iconic
38:15 Keep it together Tip
38:54 The hand signals, no, I’d be like BABY. WHAT. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU WTF. I’d last like a millisecond in the military lmao. Does my country even have one? Tbh probably not. Us Kiwis are too chill, cbf’ed with anything. Too busy watching rugby, drinking, and sulking that we can’t afford houses cos our housing market is fucked. But at least we beat Covid *shrugs*
39:06 ILY, old guy. You are the best thing in this episode, aside from Rich
39:22 But wait, there’s more weird Americans hopping out yo’ bushes
39:26 “Bloody hell!” Mood
39:47 “You’ve done it now, yanks, you’ve captured me!” He is such a mood. I love him.
39:54 FUCK OFF ROSS. “Would that be the enemy?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” DICK IS SO VALID I LOVE HIM THIS IS ICONIC.
40:25 Be free, moo-cows
40:40 LAMO GET WRECKED
41:00 Guys imma be straight with you. I’m on my third whiskey lmao.
41:10 Simon Pegg, please refrain from being a douchebag. Leave Dick and his husband to flirt in peace.
41:23 I love how Nix is like instantly suspicious. He knows.
41:39 Worried husband
41:45 “Misspelled court-marital.” Iconic
42:14 Ross, why you lying? So threatened and jel that you gotta lie omg.
42:50 God Damien is freaking hot. Guys.
42:57 Punk bitch Ross.
43:22 Dick is so BDE. It’s fucking hot.
43:30 Ross is shooketh tbh. Punk bitch.
43:36 AH! IT IS HIM! THE GUY FROM LINE OF DUTY S5!
43:50 That underbite must have hurt FJH a lot omg so committed.
44:02 Hey Lip <3
44:09 Johnny Martin has absolute BDE
44:22 God they’re willing to be killed just to not follow Ross. Same tbh.
44:57 This whole scene is BDE.
46:00 But Sink has the most BDE let’s be honest
46:44 The respect for Dick. Even after what they just went through. I AM EMOTIONAL.
46:58 He’s so worried like omg what have my troublesome sons done now
47:09 ROSS WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING??
48:09 Weak
48:24 Yeah, fuck off back to ‘Murica
48:34 Legit, can we acknowledge Ross did a great job (the actor). Really really well done, one of the best performances on the series tbh.
49:48 LMAO GET WRECKED PUNK BITCH
50:06 Dick just wanders about a lot on his own, huh?
50:50 What? What? I understand nothing of what the cockney guy is saying.
50:55 Me too, Hoob, the fuck.
51:00 RICH I SAW YOU
52:19 “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” Don’t omg I can’t, Dick, I’m weak, I can’t deal with these fucking feelings.
52:36 DAFUQ
52:40 OHHHH I get it. Right. Dick, you’re so smart. It’s a little sad they have to do all that just to get some answers and guidance but tbh it’s probably fair? Gotta be top secret so punk bitches like Ross can’t screw things up.
53:30 Hey Nix. Speak French to me any day.
53:48 Unf.
54:08 LMAO Lieb, how many cigarettes do you need!
54:10 NGL I paused here for a little while.
55:05 We could ALL use some brass knuckles, Joe/Charlie. Mood.
55:25 LOL Lieb is so nosy.
56:15 Oh no
57:00 Luz LMAO
57:10 Oh babies
57:13 Bill LMAO that’s not ice cream, yuck it looks like soup
57:28 God. All that effort. Not just logistically but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, to prepare, just to have it put off. Fuck.
57:38 That movie again. Poor boys.
57:47 That’s actually a really smart move, Johnny.
58:41 Oh no. I would lose it completely. Oh Bill </3
59:11 Naw, Dick dawdling around again
59:49 RICH I SEE YOU
1:00:08 AAAHHHH IT’S TOO CONFRONTING DON’T
1:00:48 NOOO I CAN’T aw Bill
1:01:09 Naww
1:01:16 RIIIIICH
1:01:20 It’s like they’re kiddies on a field trip and Dick is the teacher wrangling them lol
1:01:47 Lol their crap is so heavy Dick has to help pull them up. That’s actually really sweet.
1:01:51 I wish I could hold Rich’s hand
1:02:08 Oh God. I can’t. Like he’s helping them up BUT IT’S ALSO HIS WAY OF SAYING GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE AND HAVING LIKE A MOMENT TO CONNECT WITH EACH OF THEM I CAN’T LIKE THE EYE CONTACT NO DICK STOP
1:02:19 LMAO at them having to shove each other into the plane
1:02:23 That look between him and Roe. Ugh. Like. You two gotta take care of your boys together. Brotp
1:03:22 Can someone explain the block on that guy’s helmet to me?
1:03:55 I’m sad. And scared. This series is so confronting. I’ve watched in annually since I was like 16 and I’m still so nervous for them.
1:05:37 Rich, I see you! I recognized his chin lmao
1:06:16 God, Dick be careful
1:10:00 This show. The feels. Every time.
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Behind Closed Doors
A/N: I attached the requests on the bottom this time! Might do that from now on who knows
Wordcount: 2.2k+
Warnings: There is smut, but it's over 1.6k+ wording deep mostly angst and some fluff
Masterlist
You stayed up and waited for Chris to come home from the studio. It was 12:00 am, and he still wasn’t home and not a single text from him. You knew dating a musician entailed long nights and early mornings, the tours and promos but none of that mattered to you. All that mattered was that you would be with Chris even if it was just for a couple of months, and the occasional breaks in between tour. Chris was an amazing boyfriend of almost two years, and you were head over heels for him. Yet, you couldn’t help but think something was wrong in the relationship. It wasn’t what it used to be, and maybe you were just being paranoid but you felt as if things were different. As the night dragged on, hitting 1:45 am and still nothing from Chris, you decided to send him a text.
Y/N: hey amor are you gonna be in the studio for much longer?
As you awaited a response you went on with your nightly routine, trying not to think about Chris and what he was doing, fearing the worst. As you were brushing your teeth, your phone buzzed making your glance over the screen.
Papito😘: No it ended early but we went out
You read the notification, making your heart sink. You knew what we went out meant, and you knew how he was when he got drunk. Lately, you felt as if Chris was avoiding you, choosing to spend time with strangers or his bandmates than his own girlfriend. You were feeling abandoned by the one person you loved and trusted the most. You missed how he used to make you feel like his top priority, always going out of his way to see you, call you, text you anything. You left Chris on read sighing as you got into bed, in your shared bedroom. Laying in the darkroom, your thoughts clouded your mind. The room was infected with him, his scent, his things, a few pictures of him, and worst of all his presence. You fell asleep with tears streaming down your face as all you could think about was Chris and what you did wrong and where it went wrong. When you woke up the next morning, you were still alone just as he left you. With a sigh, you got out of bed completely miserable and drained from your crumbling relationship. After brushing your teeth and washing your face, you exited the bedroom and made your way to the kitchen. If you were being honest, you weren’t even hungry, you had no motivation to cook and just wanted to go back to bed. As the eggs sizzled on the hot pan, the front door unlocked and sluggish footsteps dragged themselves into the kitchen. You looked up from your cooking and there appeared a very tired and hungover Christopher. He poured himself a cup of coffee after kissing your cheek and saying good morning. When he embraced you into a hug, his scent pierced your scenes, but it was different. It wasn’t just his, you smelt the perfume of another. What was another girl’s scent doing lingering on him? Was he cheating on you? Was he so fed up with you, so bored of you he opted for someone new and didn’t have the heart to tell you?
“Nena want to grab lunch today?” He asked interrupting your thoughts
You looked up from your cooking and at him, a little wide-eyed making him raise an eyebrow at you.
“Nena?” he asked again
“Y-yeah that would be nice wanna go to our usual spot?” you asked
“Sounds good,” he smiled as his phone buzzed making him look over at it “listen nena I gotta go, but let’s meet at one”
He kissed your temple and rushed out the door.
You sat in the little quaint restaurant at bouncing your leg nervously as you waited for Chris. Little did he know, that before lunch you ran down to Adore Me and picked out something you knew he would love hidden underneath your sundress. Even though you were afraid that he was cheating on you, you couldn’t help but miss him, his touch, his attention and what you used to have with him. 1 o’clock rolled around, and still no Chris. Maybe he’s just a few minutes late, it is a busy day in the city after all. Then it hit 1:30 PM and not even a single text from him. Then the waiter came by at 2 with an apologetic smile.
“Miss its been an hour, its either you order something or I’m going to have to ask you to leave I’m sorry its policy”
“Sorry for wasting your time” you mumbled as you gathered your things and rushed out calling Chris
On the third ring he finally picked up “nena?”
You could hear a girl laugh in the background making your blood boil. You were already suspicious of being replaced, but he couldn’t even give you the decency of ending things beforehand or hide things better.
“Chris you said we were meeting for lunch! What the hell?” you hissed
“Nena it’s only- oh shit,” he said “listen nena I’m sorry-”
“Whatever Chris” you sighed, “it’s not like we haven’t spent time together in months or anything”
You hung up after that not wanting to hear another word or let him sense that you were holding back tears.
Back in the shared home, you gathered your belongings and prepared an overnight bag, for maybe a night or two. In truth, you packed so many things you could leave for a week without a problem. You needed to clear your head and see where you were going with Chris. It wasnt as if you could really have a heart to heart with someone who was never there. In a rush not wanting to walk into Chris you zipped up the luggage and beelined for the front door. As you swung the front door open you were shocked to see Chris on the other side of it, ready to unlock it.
“Nena what are you doing?” he questioned looking at your luggage
“I’m leaving for a few days not that you would care” you huffed as you tried to move past him
Chris blocked the door, growing slightly annoyed as his confusion grew.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked shocked
“Chris, when was the last time we spent time together? You’re never here and when you are you make no effort to take time and do things with me! When was the last time you paid attention to me? When was the last time you touched me?” You spat out as you pushed him to the side walking away with tears streaming down your face. “We’re through” you said trying to not let your teary face become obvious
Day 1:
Papito😘 calling
Declined.
Papito😘: Nena please im sorry
Looking at the notification you rolled your eyes and huffed. Did he really think such a cliche line would make you run back to him?
Papito😘: Nena ill do better
You read the text again, thinking he should have done better when he had you.
Papito😘: Y/N please I need you
You turned your phone off after that text not wanting to cave in to him afraid that one of his texts would send you running back into his arms. Without Chris, you were miserable and even more heartbroken than before. You missed him more than ever before, he had nested a piece of your mind and heart larger than you realized.
Day 2:
It felt like you weren’t getting better and Chris’s friends were now contacting you.
Richard started as you were closest to him out of Chris’s friends. He asked you to take back his friend or at least meet with him, telling you how unhappy Chris was without you. Then news broke out, shattering your broken heart into dust. Christopher Velez seen with mystery girl. Y/N and Chris over? Joel was quick to contact you after you drowned yourself in the vicious headlines. You cried yourself to sleep that night.
Day 3:
You stopped by the house to pick up the rest of your belongings and to return the keys at a time you figured Chris wouldn’t be home. You unlocked the front door, and quietly let yourself in.
“Nena?” a weak voice called out from the living room
You froze in your steps, being completely taken back by Chris. His sluggish footsteps made their way to the door, as he practically froze in his steps.
“W-what are you doing?” he asked
You studied his face, his eyes were puffy, and baggy from lack of sleep. Chris looked terrible, making the ache in your heart grow.
“I- I was just grabbing some stuff, I thought you wouldn’t be home right now” you meekly responded looking down at your feet
“Nena please don’t do this” he begged as he slowly approached you
You stood there still frozen as he continued to approach you. He gingerly placed his hands around your waist and pulled you in to him. His face nuzzled into the crook of your neck as his tears hit your warm skin.
“Nena please” he sobbed “te amo I fucked up...I fucked up”
Your arms slowly wrapped around him as tears fell from your eyes.
“Chris” you whispered “you abandoned me”
He moved his head, lips hovering millimeters apart from yours and met your eyes. His big brown eyes looked into yours, silently pleading with you.
“Nena” he whispered “I'm so sorry”
Looking down at his lips and back into his eyes, with your hands slowly traveling into his locks you tugged on them gently as you smashed your lips against his. Chris kissed you back as his lips melted into yours. This felt right to you, his hands roaming your body as you tugged harder on his making an ache between your legs. His hands went further down your body, behind your thighs and lifted you up as you jumped up. Your legs wrapped around his torso as he carried you to the bedroom.
“Let me make it up to you nena” he said between kisses as he laid you on the messy bed
He helped you get out of your clothes as you helped him get out of his. He kissed your neck hitting all of your favorite spots.
“I will never let this happen again” he mumbled in the crook of your neck
“You are my everything” he continued as his hands slid down your body
“You deserve only the best” he whispered as he left a trail of soft kisses from your neck to your collar bones
“You're so beautiful nena” he said as he grabbed your breasts, encircling one of your hardened buds with his mouth
Your back arched as your breathing hitched, hands tugging harder on his hair.
“Chris” you whimpered creating music to his ears with every noise you made
He paid attention to the other bud making you moan as his fingers trailed down to your pulsating core. Your hips bucked as he teased your slit, as he continued his trail of kisses.
“Please give me another chance nena” he groaned as he passed your naval
“I will never disappoint you again” he whispered as he kitten licked your slit
“You taste as sweet as honey nena” he mumbled between licks
Your mouth hung agape as he did all the things you liked, drawing your favorite pattern on your swollen pearl. He slid two fingers inside you and curled at the right spot.
“Oh my god” you moaned as your toes curled
Chris pumped his fingers quickly building up your knot.
“Chris just fuck me” you whimpered as you wanted more, wanting to feel closer to him
“Anything you want princesa” he said as he pulled away from you and slowly slid inside you
He kissed your neck and collar bones as he set a slow pace. You scratched his nape and down his back as your walls opened up from him.
“Faster” You whined
“Fuck nena” he grunted as he snapped his hips quicker and rougher
His hand slithered down to your nerve endings and drew figure eights.
“You are my everything I love you nena” he groaned
He angled his hips and threw your leg over his shoulder, hitting right into your inner sweet spot. Your eyes were rolling back as a knot formed in your lower abdomen. Walls fluttered around his member, making his thrusts lose their rhythm.
“Nena cum for me,” he whispered as he kissed your plump lips “let me see you make that pretty face”
“Chris!” You screamed as your knot snapped
Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as you entered your state of bliss. Your thighs shook around him as you left another trail of red marks down his back. Your breathing hitched as Chris rode you out for your high, and then slipping into his. You felt his warmth spread inside you as he released his seed in you. He slowly pulled out of you and lovingly kissed your lips before laying on the bed and pulling you on top of him. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck as your fingers twirled his strands of hair.
“Nena I’m so sorry about everything” he finally spoke as he nervously drew circles against your hips “please give me another chance I’ll do better I promise”
You looked up into his big brown eyes and smiled.
“Let’s start over” you grinned
“I love you y/n” he said as he kissed the top of your head
~~~~~~~~~
Anon: OMG I LOVE YOUR STORIES AHBHBKJDNJSD CAN YOU DO A CHRIS STROY THATS ANGST AT FIRST WHERE HE IS SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH A GIRL LIKE SAMANTHA SO YOU THINK HES CHEATING AND YOU GUYS FIGHT AND HE ENDS UP ASSURING YOU ITS NOTHING AND YOU GUYS KIND OF FUCK YOUR ANGER OUT AND TRY TO DOMINATE EACHOTHER BUT IT ENDS FLUFFY WITH HIM TRULY REASURING YOU THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY GIRL HE WANTS
Anon: Some sweet rough love making with Chris under the stars Bc a bitch is in her feelings 💕
Anon: hi queen! i don't know if you've already made this one, if not can you please write about having makeup sex with chris? like you both haven't seen each other in a while, but when you do your hoeing with other guys which got him super pissed... Thank you !
#chris velez#christopher velez#chris#christopher#velez#cnco#cnco imagine#cnco fic#christopher velez imagine#chris velez imagine#cnco angst#cnco fluff#christopher velez fluff#chris velez fluff#christopher velez angst#chris velez angst#cnco smut#chris velez smut#christopher velez smut#boyband#boyband fic#fic#fanfic#imagine#fluff#angst#behind closed doors#hot boy#cute boy
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Performance Task
Pre-test
1. What do you mean by the word Privilege?
2. What do you think is the job of news reporter and documentarian?
3. In your own opinion do you think it is right to rally in times of pandemic?
4. Define the word Frontliners.
5. Who are considered frontliners?
A. Medical personnel
B. Food Delivery Driver
C. Wet Market Vendors
D. All of the above
Privilege
How do you define privilege people? a thousand square meters house? Designer bags? luxury cars? huge amount of money in different bank accounts? capability to eat at a fancy restaurants which the amount of their tip to the waiter is the same amount as their bill?or what about the people who are able to eat three times a day without leaving the four corners of their house? Or the ones who are on the top of the triangle?
I am laying on my soft and comfortable bed with my breakfast ready on my side table when I decided to watch the news with our 75 inches tv. Its 4:00 o'clock in the morning and I need to wake up this early to go to work. The news is outrageous and very stressful, I said to myself. My name is Seri Janica Davila I am working as a news reporter && a documentarian here in the Philippines for eight and a half year. In that period of time I was able to build my own house, buy two luxury car, save money, raise my three kids on my own and send them at an exclusive school. I got divorce with my husband 6 years ago and never heard anything from him since that and started raising our three kids without asking not even a single centavo from my him. I guess that was really the essence of being a woman continuing to go && grow without needing a man in their lives.
It was now 4:30 in the morning and I need to get my day ready I'm done preparing food for my kids and so I can now leave the house. I been doing this for almost 9 years I can say its really exhausting but this is really my passion. Witnessing peoples daily lives, understanding their reasons and knowing how social status affects. It is a very frustrating job however when you get use it you'll realizes that there are things you're not in control, You can report it, you can flash it on national television but still when those higher officials don't give a single damn about them, the poorest ones will still remain at the bottom. Just like the usual poverty really sucks.
I arrived 5: 35 am at the GMA building I was on time. Today is the 1st week of the community quarantine at the whole vicinity of Luzon. I wait orders from my superior and they told me I will be in one of the border of metro manila while I was on the way I can see people walking and looking so tired when it fact it is only 5:50 am which supposed to be just the start of their day. I can see people waiting for buses, traffic enforcers giving reminders of social distancing, taho vendor who seems to be so weak, and the face of different frustrated employees who desperately wants to make it to their work. On the other hand I also saw silk-stocking people bulk-buying grocery items coming out from SnR. The world is crazy I sadly utter to myself.
It was 6:45 am when I finally headed to my destination. I hear people different opinions and sentiments. A jeepney driver who is being interrogated by the police caught my attention, I hurriedly go towards them with my microphone on my left hand and my cellphone on my right hand and I urgently call my camera man to go with me. I asked one of the police men whats happening he said " Ang kulit e sabi ng wala munang babiyahe hanggat may quarantine, Eto naman si manong sige pa rin sa pasada hindi mapagsabihan " The jeepney driver heard him and he said " pag hindi po ako kumayod wala po kaming kakainin pano naman po yung pamilya ko pano kami mahirap lang kami hindi kami pwede tumunganga sa bahay mamatay kami sa gutom " he was in tears and so I was. He's right, how about them? How about those isang kayod isang tuka? How about the people who are in what we called "laylayan ng lipunan"? How about the vendors? The drivers? They are the one who are much by affected by this situation.
My phone rings it is my boss is I answered it and he told that there's a rally at Quezon City, We hurriedly go to the exact location, In 18 mins we arrived, I could'nt help but to stare at them. They are mad, no they were not mad, mad is too shallow to describe they were furious. The AFP showed-up and the people began to run others successfully escaped but the others are caught. They are shouting "bigas lang po" "asan na ang ayuda" "ilang araw na kaming naghihintay bakit wala pa ding tulong". They are yelling for help, asking officials to remember them. That mess was heart breaking they were just asking for a little help yet the laws are not fair to everyone.
It was 11:57 in the evening I was about to sleep when someone knocks on my door. It was my sister who just got home from work asking for a phone charger. "I left my charger at the hospital can I borrow yours?" she said and sat on my bed. "Sure" I answered, and quickly look for my charger, "How's work" I asked, "Exhausting and frustrating, those senators and higher officials wants themselves to be priority for testing. They are'nt even PUI's nor PUM's yet they want to get tested." Shes a Doctor at Makati Medical Hospital for 9 years. "Those privilege people always wants to put themselves first before others, they are selfish as hell. People are dying and they're still thinking of their own sake yet they called themselves leaders and frontliners. They are the worst virus in our country." She added, You can see how exasperated she is by the she talks. "I need to get some rest, Goodnight" She utter and then left my room. She left me hangging. How can those self-centered individuals sleep tight at night thinking that our country is suffering from pandemic and people are lack in food yet they have the guts to think first of themselves. Our Doctors and their constituents are dying yet one of them have the guts to walk through SnR and go for shopping and even go to hospital to accompany her pregnant wife. I mean, who the fuck do you think you are.
It was 2:00 in the morning and I couldnt sleep it feels like I need to do something. I browse my phone and an idea come up to my mind "why not raise a fund?" I told myself. I urgently posted my idea and a lot of people are willing to donate I was so thankful that people wants to help in this midst of calamity. I raise a fund of 3 million pesos and turned it into a groceries. I asked my neighbors and friends to help me in repacking. After 2 days were done and ready for distribution. We gave the grocery items to the poorest one and to those who needed it the most like the beggars, scavengers, drivers and we also do house to house distribution. Their smiles are priceless even though its just a little help they are still grateful and smiling from ear to ear.
It was 9:40 pm and Im finally home. I am eating my dinner alone cause my kids are at sleep and my sister isnt home yet when i decided to browse my social media account. People on the internet are arguing the dds and anti. I continue scrolling reading and reading. When one post pop up to my news feed " One netizen ask me for help pang kain lang daw may apat daw syang anak nahihirapan na daw sila lol hindi ko obligasyon buhayin kayo" that was the post I just read coming from a famous vlogger who are earning half a million in just a month. I roll my eyes "wow this ill-mannered && inconsiderate human have the audacity to shame?? didnt your momma taught how to have helping hand??" i freakingly talking to myself.
In this cruel world I hope people can have each other. I hope we can be an extension of blessing. Set aside our selfishness instead we should have a heart that will always care for the others. A little humanity and compassion will do to surpass any circumstances that China, the universe rather may throw to us.
Its been exactly a month since this pandemic started in our country. The number of cases arises and there is still no concrete solution to this calamity. It will be a long run, I hope our frontliners won't get tired in solving this. To our Nations frontliners, Thank you so much && Keep safe! 🖤
Post-test
1. According to the story, What is the essence of being a woman?
2. Why does the sister of Serica Janica becomes frustrated and exasperated by the higher officials?
3. Why does narrator said that it was cruel world?
4. Do you think laws are unfair?
5. What is the mood of the story?
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fuck sam walmarts
and fuck management
I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.
as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.
this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares
basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.
decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track
today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in
i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch
i gott my first break on timeish.
then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok
really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of
anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while
but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk
i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD
nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone
im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,
manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry
and theyy just. fckkng
ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”
i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh
this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...
she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt
andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????
andd i jjst
ive HAD IT with her
ive had ittt
im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that
then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome
ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.
i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD
I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO
i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow
she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas
i d ont know what to doo
i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh
ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff
i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww
i jjst dont know what to doo...
i cantt stop cryingg
i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.
last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash
goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.
#jjst...ffeels like shes violating somethingg#and treating me a LOT like how my abusive mother used to treat me#why are you CRYING? you cant be trying here. this is a BUSINESS.#is a lot like Why Do You look so MISERABLE all the time?? why are you CRYING??#and shit like IGNORING ME when i try to change my hours#straight up ignoring me#she basically made it clear shed rather me QUIT than fuckingg chop 2 hours off my AVAILABILITY#ITS SO FRUSTRATING#AND SHES SUCH A HYPROCRITE#scheduled 7-2 every sunday!!#yet you cant change my availability to 7-7??#you NEED ot keep it until 9???#but working until 9 and getting home around 10 and getting no sleep because i need to take care of my pets and myself#and get up at 5:30 the next morning for work at 7#WHEN THAT COULD EASILY BE ALTERED BY CHIPPING A COUPLE HOURS OFF MY AVAILABILITY#AND MY DOCTOR ALSO THINKS I NEED TO CHANGE IT TOO#BUT WHO FUCKING CARES RIGHT ITS A BU S I N E S S#SURE SURE BUT WHEN A CUSTOMER FLIPS THE SIGN ON A $7.94 SHIRT#TO SAY 0.94 CENTS#WITH THE CENTS SIGN!!!!#THEN I HA V E TO HONOR IT#THATS A+ BUSINESS RIGHT THERE#BITCH DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO APPROVE A COUPON ON SLEF CHECKOUT!!!!#AND OUR FRICKING STORE MAANGER MAKES TRIPLE FIGURES!!!#BUT NO ONE FUCKINGG CARES#NO ONE FUCKING CARES#I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMOREE#id dont want to have to lose my job and stability over this one person#but this isntt...ok#i shouldnt have to go to work and deal with MORE emotional abuse
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1202020 10:00
i hate it cause i know im ganna tell you how i feel and if i feel any other type of way but happy or calm with you im automatically arguing. but you start the arguing, back and forth and back and forth. anytime stating any opinion or feeling to anyone, if they don't agree, your automatically arguing with them. the biggest problems in my life are maalik, my mom and my dad. now her I am with my sensitive ass back on dope..... fuck. FUCK! I don't even want to say anymore after writing that.. I annoy the fuck outta myself... I say this every night. and any morning and everyday, not even mrning because I be waking upp at 1 and go to bed at 4am. tomorrow really has to be different. by any means necessary. I have to stop being so lazy. ya ya I have depression and watever else. but im being fucking lazy. I am. I have no one to blame but myself at this point. wat happened happened and its time to do better. im mad at myself, angry. im disappointed. sitting with myself is hard now. but only because I let the devil in, so now all I talk to all dday is the devil. and it disguises itself as my own voice.. itd be nice to have someone around, I don't even wanna talk, I just want someone there other then the devil and and the sins that come with it. itd be nice if I could go to dooleys for a couple days without the anxiety of my parents heavy energies and without him trying to fuck me. especially sick. he just plays video games or tries to fuck me. I just want to cuddle and be able to know were just ganna cuddle. he’ll tell you we cuddle all the time we never have sex. and we don't have sex. because im uncomfortable thst hanging out with me implies video games and sex. I want a friend. I want someone to talk to me instead of just asking me to talk. I don't want to be here for entertainment. to make decisions when you cant make up your mind. cause if I try to make plans or organize shit when you already have your idea in your head how tihingss are ganna be (wich you don't share with me till after the ffact) your not honest and jsust tell me things you think I want to hear. you dnt know me, you barely know yourself. im just tired of my feelings never being valid because its always like your feelings are more important. and if you don't feel any type of way about somrthing at the moment you bring up bullshit from the past, and the most dumbest shit. you have an excuse for everything. you always say how you hate having to worry about another person and the responsibility, but that's the point of a relationship, its two people. you don't even try. or atleast I don't feel like you try. you do the bare minimum and you do that at the end of the day for you, even tho you say you do it for me. but you do shit for me that I dnt ask for, and although I appreciate it. I rather you not if yyou just ganna throw it in my face. you do shit cause it makes you feel good about me. you don't do shit that makes me feel good about me. I just cant get you off my head because I just cant rationalize how you think, and how unfair it is and … and... just and... ugh I just cant believe it. ive tried... I really have.. you lost me... im sorry.. I love you... but you lost me.. and like I told you I would do, now tht ive gotten past the 2 stages, patience and understanding,and the point of trying to fight for it, im on the last stage- where I will let you lose me.
im sorry our relationship started how it started. but you knew. know I didn't know wat was going to happened but I had feelings nd I was honest from the beginning. you knew. you knew wat you got yourself into. its not ffair to blame me for your actions.
its time for me to move on and get my life together. because I have no one to blame but myself. im sorry self. let me make it up to you. I love you and I will show you im sorry for not only the past few days, weeks, months, and years. but the past 23 years of bullshit (aside from the good and magical moments that we did also have). because you deserve it. you deserve all that your heart desires mama. and we will get it. this life is ours. if we have to live it. lets live it.
tomorrow will be hard but im sending prayers to the struggles, and may I conquer all troubles.
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