#AND his best friend is dead? dude has negative luck

[gutsfics]

Greg Mariano

Greg Mariano

#peonyblossom & i r talking about pb reusing assets while almost all their stories take place in the same world and. Greg Mariano. #so fucked up they'd remove the top few bones from Noah's spine and then give him malaria #AND his best friend is dead? dude has negative luck

[ink-on-the-brink]

Out of all the mercs, which do you think would be the easiest to befriend and gain all their trust and which one would be the hardest??? And also, I really love your writing :D keep it up and have a nice day/night!!! ^^

Happy to know you enjoy my work! It's good to know I'm doing something right!

This one's going to be super quick since I've been a bit busy recently, but it should be fun. It will go in order from easiest to hardest to befriend. (Also there won't be any editing so excuse my spelling mistakes)

Pyro

You so much as smile at them and they are your best friend. Not kidding. They can and will make you a best friend after only the first time meeting you.

All you have to do to gain their trust is be kind. They won't notice if it's fake or not so even a sarcastic or strained tone won't matter as long as you're smiling and saying nice things.

Pyro is super bubbily and energetic and if you meet that energy you two are going to get along tremendously well.

You may not understand them, but they are telling you their deepest secrets all the time. Their trust in you is very noticable even after only a week of meeting them.

They are a bit- well more like extremely childish. So being their friend automatically makes you more of the adult no matter how immature you might be.

Overall they just want to be friends with any and every person they meet and you are going to be their bestest friend no matter if you want to be or not.

Scout

This man is a pretty easy friend to make. You make even a half attempt and he's your best friend on day one.

Trust is earned when you play fair. He doesn't really like cheaters, so if he challenges you and you make it a point to be as fair as possible he already believes you're a good person.

I hope you like some friendly competition because that's basically your guys' friendship is based on.

Now while you two might become great friends quickly, that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to know his deepest insecurities. That will problably take about a half a year and a loy of awkward conversations to get to.

He can be a very annoying person so being his friend takes a considerable amount of patience.

Overall he just likes having friends, even if he tries to stay macho about it.

Demo

Being his friend is pretty easy as well. He always likes to have a few drinking buddys on hand and he won't hesitate to invite along people he might not know very well

He'll gain immideate trust for you if you help him while he's drunk. Most people will leave him in a corner to wake up in so he'll take your act of kindness as a reason to keep you around.

Most of your friendship is based on achohal. Drinking together, gifting booze, encouraging others to join, you two will most likely not even remember most of your more trusting moments with eachother.

As bombastic and outgoing as he is, he's rather private about certain topics. That is unless he's black out drunk. If he's not as drunk as he usually is he won't answer questions about family or anything about the future until he feels he knows you well enough.

Demo is a bit of a handfull most days. He never turns down a dare and bar fights are common. You'll likely have to pull him off the floor a lot and he is notorious for invading personal space. So as long as your up for the challenge, he's up for being your friend.

Overall he's a drunk idiot, but he's your drunk idiot. He will be sure to make each day a little interesting

Medic

Becoming Medics friend can be...an interesting expirence. It's going to involve blood, guts and conscious surgeries and he's not going to care for those who are faint of heart.

You want to gain his trust? Well here's the thing, there is no surefire way to do that. Help him out one day and he'll appreciate it, another and he might become suspicious. The best way is probably to find some interest in his expirements. He prefurs to surround himself with like-minded people.

The biggest part of your friendship is most likely a shared interest in crimes against humanity. Two mad scientists testing on the bodies of dead 'patients'. What could go wrong?

Medic tries to hold a professional tone most of the time but will drop all of that when in battle or when expirementing. It can be hard to keep up with how quickly he switches from one to the other so try to stay aware of what's happening.

Medic doesn't have secrets. He has no shame and will tell you the most horrifying things in an upbeat tone. That, however, doesn't mean he fully trusts you. It will likely take a while before he trusts you enough to leave you alone with any of his expirements or projects. It's his life's work after all, he's not going to allow just anyone to mess with it.

Overall he doesn't mind having friends, but he isn't very open to close friends. It'll take a bit of time and prying to get him to fully trust you.

Soldier

This dude is extreamly parinoid. He's consistently second guessing his friendships and looking for double agents. So becoming his friend isn't exactly easy. You are going to have to seriously impress him for him to even think of you as anything more than a possibly traitor.

Gaining his trust can vary on many factors. Military backround? You're already up a few hundred points. Love for america? He's open to listening to you. Care for raccons? Okay maybe he isn't as hard to befriend as he tries to be.

Violence. So. Much. Violence. If he thinks you might be a good friend he's going to put you to the test. Rigorous training, sparing, tests on your patriotism, anything that he deems as important will be something he tests you on. All of them will most likely involve some sort of physical endurance. Even after you two are friend these will still be a constant in your life.

He's not good with secrets but there are a few things he keeps silent about and getting him to talk about it will likely end with you on the floor. As stated before he's a rather parinoid person and if it's something he's not willing to say out loud, it's something that you're going to have to spend years gaining enough trust for him to open up about it.

Soldier is extreamly loyal. If you're his friend he'd happily bleed to keep you safe. He'd never believe a single negative thing said about you and will side with you one everything, no matter how wrong you are. If you remain just as loyal he will become your right hand man in an instant.

Sniper

Overall Soldier's a loud, obnoxious, patriotic and still somehow very lovable person. When he cares about someone he tends to be extremely kind, be it in a more abrasive way then others. So as long as you can see past his militaristic exterior he's one hell of a friend to have.

You wanna be friends with Sniper? Yeah, good luck with that. Not only is the dude a loner, but he has hella trust issues and he sure as hell isn't here to make friends. Becoming his friend is going to take time. A lot of time. And maybe some coffee.

There isn't a singular act you could do to gain his trust. You can defend him all you want, side with him on every issue, pull him out of a near death expirence, its not going to change how little he trusts you. It's going to take all of those and a few long coversations (good luck getting him in a conversation in the first place) before he even attempts to trust you.

Your friendship relies heavily on practically. He's only going to think of trusting you if he feels you give some advantage. It will take a few heart to hearts for him to look past seeing you as someone who can help him and instead as someone he cares about.

Sniper has a lot of dark parts to him and it is only once he fully trusts you that you'll get to know that side of him exists. Secretly he really just wants to spill about his insecurities and problems but he doesn't trust that people won't use it against him. Once he does trust you his cold exterior will fade away and you'll get to know a lot about the demons he fights with.

He pulls off the calculated killer rather well. Most people believe he knows of nothing else. To anyone who's close to him however, he's quite honestly a mess. He needs someone that grounds him and if you can provide that type of friendship then he will appreciate it more that any type of heroic act you could preform.

Overall he's guarded and quiet but desperately wants someone to relate to. It will take a persistent attempt to earn his trust and even if he's your friend he still tends to keep to himself.

Heavy

Ah yes, the silent behemoth. Befriending him is going to take more than just patience. It's going to take a certain amount of willpower as well. He doesn't trust easily and you'll have to work hard to prove yourself to him, most likely on the battle field.

His trust is gained a few ways, none of which are easier than the last. First you must have some care for family. That doesn't necisarry mean that you have a family, but one of the first things he looks for in a possible friend is whether they have any strong familial values. Next you will have to prove to be strong enough to fend for yourself. He might be a human meat sheild but that doesn't mean he likes being one. He appreicates someone who can help rather than hinder him. There are many more steps afterward and you will have to pass with flying colors for him to consider it.

Your friendship will rely entirely on having eachothers back. He needs to know you are willing to stick with him no matter how dire the circumstances. You fuck up or betray him once and he will most likely never trust you again.

Heavy doesn't talk much. Whether that is because of his lack of english knowledge or simply choosing to keep his mouth shut really depends.

He doesn't hold many secrets but he does hold many dark memeories. He usually would only trust his family enough to talk to them about it but once your close enough to be considered family he will open up to you, if only a little bit.

Heavy keeps to himself most of the time and doesn't prefur to say much, if anything at all so getting to know his isn't easy and gaining his trust is even harder. He's got a family to take care of and he's not going to risk their safety by trusting someone he shouldn't have.

Spy

Ah yes, the backstabber himself. Guarded, mysterious and an annoying bastard. The path to his friendship is fog covered and honestly it can be hard to tell whether he cares for you or not. He will never announce his care or show it in any way, so good luck finding out if you're on his good side.

You want his trust? You'll have to prove you're worth trusting. Getting him out of a tough spot or siding with him is likely to earn his respect at the very least. It won't get you all the way there though. He doesn't associate with anyone that doesn't hold his type of class. You'll have to be rather poised and polished when around him.

His friendships usually end up in a love/hate dynamic. He might enjoy your company, and in doing so open a weak point for others to exploit. That's where the hate comes in. He doesn't like having people close, it makes his job harder, so no matter how much he cares he sure as hell isn't going to let it show.

Spy will never, ever, trust anyone with the knowledge of his past. He'd sooner die then let someone know anything that happened before he met them. No matter how much he trusts you, no matter how close you get, you will never have enough trust for him to tell you that.

Spy his one hell of a prick. It might all be in good fun, but he can be a little too good at getting on your nerves sometimes. It's best if you keep him in check by returning his remarks with equally devistating comebacks. He might even respect you more if you're able to match his level of prickery.

Overall he's going to remain mysterious no matter how much he may trust you. He will try to not befriend anyone, so you making an attempt to do so will likely be met with less than favorable reactions at first. Give it time and he might just consider you not as annoying as everyone else.

Engie

You thought he was a trusting guy didn't you? Well that's just what he wants you to think. Becoming his friend is a complicated process that you most likely wont even be aware of. You'll think he's your friend when really he's the farthest thing from it.

Gaining his true trust is near impossible. He has nearly everyone convinced of his friendly exterior so he almost can't afford to trust anyone to know the truth. In every case that it is possible it's entirely on accident. Maybe you seem to genuinely care for him and the guilt leaves him a bit more open to caring about you. Or the opposite can happen. You see right through his act and in a bid to keep you silent about it he becomes honest with you. Either way it's not going to be on purpose.

Engie grew up in a life where you weren't supposed to trust everyone but you damn well make sure everyone trusts you. This can make it hard for him to be an actual friend, considering he's always kept people at a distance. He will often fall into habits of keeping his friendly exterior instead of being more genuine with you.

Engie has a lot of secrets. A lot. Most he will take to his grave. If you do, however, manage to earn his trust and especially if you earn his care, he'll share a few. There are very few circumstances that he will and most time while doing so he can be very visibly uncomfortable. You don't get raised in a mercinary family without a few demons following you.

He's only cared for very few people in his life and he's trusted even less. So there are times when he either seem distant and uncaring or caring to the point you feel patronized. It will take him a while to find out if he should trust you and the moment he does it can seem almost like you have become the most important person on his life. His once empty gestures are now entirely genuine and he feels safe with his back toward you. This is by no means an easy point to reach and will most defiantly have taken literal years to get to.

Overall he's used to not genuinely connecting with people and is extremely hesitant when doing so. You may not even notice this conflict, but it's most certainly a large part of his life.

#tf2 #reader x tf2 #tf2 x reader #engie #pyro #medic #tf2 engie #tf2 medic #soldier #spy #tf2 scout #scout #tf2 sniper #sniper #tf2 heavy #heavy #demo #demoman #tf2 demo #tf2 demoman #tf2 spy #headcannons #tf2 headcanons #tf2 platonic #platonic

[silverisbestboy]

Sonic Boom x Reader

Requested by @blackace1993: Conversation was accidentally deleted but from what I remeber of it, they wanted hc for the Sonic Boom characters who has a partner who frequently gets into trouble and/or captured by Eggman. They didn't specify which character they wanted so I just did all of them minus Tails. Hope you enjoy!

Sonic:

There's no denying it

Sonic was smitten

The moment you set foot on the island Sonic was taken aback by you

To him, you were drop dead gorgeous with a great personality so I guess you could say it was love at first sight for him

This boy is a fool for you

It's actually quite funny watching him zip across the island at the slightest remark that you need something

"Man, you what? I'm feeling kind of hungry"

"Say no more!" He'll say as he zooms away and reappears seconds later with a chili dog in hand

"Uhhhh"

But, unfortunately for you, being in any sort of relationship with Sonic is not wothout complication

Eggman sees you as a new oppurtunity to best Sonic and ends up taking you hostage on a regular basis

The first time it happens, Sonic all but destroys Eggman's fortress looking for you

But after it continuously happening, it starts getting kinda old

"Greeting Sonic! I see you've come to rescue your little girlfriend"

"Yeah, yeah. Can we just we just get to the part where I clobber you?"

It gets to the point where Sonic starts teaching you how to defend yourself so you can hold your own against Eggman

Not that he doesn't mind rescuing, it's just he can't always be there to protect

With the amount of times they've had to save you, the team are already very familiar with you and consider you apart of their friend group

But as you get better is self-defence, Sonic officially announces you as part of the team and you start joining them on missions

While Sonic does tend to stick to your side more than his other teammates during battle, he's glad to have you fighting alongside them

After all, he's happy to spend as much time with you as possible, even if that means having to bash Eggman's robots to do so

Knuckles:

You're not a bad person

So what if you have anger issues

So what if you get into fights from time to time

So what if you've been in trouble with the cops before

Doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you've.... got some issues

One day you're not in the best mood and have already had a pretty shitty day, and you're just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode

So it's no wonder that when a big guy bumps into you and causes you to drop the tray of food you're holding, you go off on him

Unfortunately for you, this guy is huge, a tall red echidna with bulking arms that looks like he could punch you into next week

But you're not one to back down from a fight, you've beaten up guys twice your size before and you're not afraid to do it again

"Woah, hey, sorry about that, didn't see you there."

What, is he dense?! Who does this guy think he is barrelling into anyone he pleases just because he's big? You bet he was just gonna walk off without even helping you. Well, you'd show him!

Without warning, you lunged at the echidna with the intent of knocking him over the same way he almost did to you

But you underestimated his initial strength and reflexes and he caught you midair with your legs kicking and your hands clawing for his face

"Woah, dude chill! I said I was sorry!"

He just kinda holds you up in air at arms length with you kicking and screaming until you eventually tire yourself out

The echidna stares at you cautiously

"Are you good now?"

After a moment, you reluctantly nod, and he gently sets you back on your feet

He then carefully leans down without takong his eyes off you and grabs your burger which is still wrapped in foil and reaches it out to you

"How about we start over? I'm Knuckles."

You thought after that encounter, that was the last you'd see of him

But one day, you've gotten yourself into another fight, and to say you're losing would be an understatement

It's once again, a guy twice your size and he's absolutely beating the crap out of you

But by some miracle, Knuckles happens to be walking by and immediately notices you

He steps in to save you, and the guy you're fighting knows about Knuckles being part of Sonic's team and doesn't even bother attempting to fight him

Knuckles takes your half conscious body to Tails's work shop where they fix you up

After that, Knuckles refuses to leave you alone

Even if you try to leave, he always ends finding you to make sure you don't get into more trouble

He helps you find outlets for your anger by sparring and working out with him

You grow a soft spot for Knuckles that you'd never thought you'd have for anyone

He's your big goofball that somehow always manages to calm you down and get you out of whatever trouble your in

Though it's beyond you why anyone would want to put up with you, eespecially a lovable ray of sunshine like Knuckles, you're so grateful that you have someone like himin your life to keep you in check

A/N: Might make more hcs for that because I absolutely love the idea of big, strong goofball Knuckles having a little ball of pure rage as a partner.

Amy Rose:

Some would say you're a pacifist

Some would say you care too much

Some would say you're too nice

But you like to think that you're just trying to do good in the world

You're definitely the type of person that hates conflict and wants everyone to get along, and you're more often than not a bit of a pushover

You like to give people benefit of the doubt and prefer to see the good in people, although sometimes, this affects you negatively

A kindly looking (or at least in your opinion) wolf with a showman's top hat and a certain glint his eyes one day stops you in your tracks and asks you ever so politely if you would kindly lend him some money to help feed his family

Of course, you're quick to help, but little do you know that this is none other than T.W. Barker himself, and he's been watching you carefully for some time

He notices the way you jump at the oppurtunity to help someone in need, and he being a con man at heart, decides to take advantage of that

But before you can lend the man all the money you have in your pocket, a certain pink hedgehog decides to interfere

"Hey, you leave her alone Barker! Go find your own ATM machine!"

Amy Rose herself stands not far behind you, hammer in hand and ready for trouble

"N-now, now, let's not be too hasty. I was simply accepting a generous donation from this unsuspecting-- I mean self-less young lady."

"Yeah right. Beat it before I hammer you into next Tuesday, punk!"

You're in utter shock as the seeming wolf in sheep's clothing (pun intended) makes his escape

"Gotta look out for scumbags. Seems this village is getting more and more of them everyday. Anyways, I'm Amy, what's your name?"

Since then, Amy keeps a close eye on you to make sure you don't become prey to anymore scam artists

Now Amy will never admit she has anger issues, but she does get... irritated from time to time

On more than one occasion, you're there to help her calm down and have a sleepover planned or a spa day for when things get particularly rough for her

Whenever she needs help choosing which paint to redo her wall with, or which dress she should wear to a party, she calls you up, because no matter what you're interests are or how inconvenient the timing might seem, you're ready to help a friend, even with mundane things

Amy has you become a part of the Sonic family, and while you never do join them in battles, you help keep the peace between the team whenever there's an argument

And Amy always makes sure your overly caring attitude isn't being taken advantage of

No matter the time or the place, Amy knows she can always count on you, and you know she's always got your back

Sticks:

Well this is quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into

A lot of people would descibe you as clumsy, but you knew you just bad luck

And to prove just that, here you were dangling upside from a rope trap after deciding to take a liesure stroll through the forest

What are we, nomads? Who sets out traps in the middle of the woods anymore?!

After about 20 minutes, the blood is rushing to your head and you're starting to feel faint

But just as you think that your bad luck will finally be the end of you, figure bursts from the bushes with a fierce battle cry

It's a badger girl with a boomerang clutched in her paw, ready for a fight

But after a moment she realizes just who's gotten caught up in her trap

"Hey, what's the big idea?! Why're you in my snare?"

"Why am I in your snare? Why did you put out a snare you loon?!"

After about 5 minutes of arguing, Sticks reluctantly cuts you down, begrudgingly explaining that she set out a trap for any woodland monsters

You run into her again on another walk, crossing a small stream before tripping on one of the stepping stones and almost falling in before a furry arm wraps around your waist

"You outta be more careful out here. The wilderness is no place to be a klutz."

"Hey, I'm not a klutz. I just have bad luck is all."

And what more to gain the attention of a superstitious badger than the possibility of supernatural forces at play

"You could've been hexed by a witch. Or worse, there could be a vengeful spirit after you! We gotta get you an exorcist!"

"I'm fine, I'm just unlucky. Always have been always will be."

"We should still burn some sage in your home just to be sure."

You let Sticks do what she wants with you, after all, her superstitious perspective is a nice change from everyone just thinking your clumsy

You think her attempts to "cleanse" you are endearing, she tries something new everyday, and you end up learning a thing or two about survival and the corruptedness of politics from her

Weeks later, her attempts slowly dwindle down, and she just comes to accept she's just gonna have to keep an extra close eye on you, especially when she sets out booby traps

The time y'all have spent together, although it was somewhat motivated by Sticks not wanting to get whatever curse you exposed her to, lead to y'all having a close bond

Everyone has their quirks, she's paranoid and you're clumsy, but you two always manage to work things out

And that's the beauty of a relationship

A/N: Sorry I haven't been that active lately, so take this as an apology. Four hcs for the price of one!

#sonic headcanons #sonic the hedgehog x reader #sonic x reader #sonic boom #amy rose x reader #sticks the badger x reader #knuckles the echidna x reader

[heisen-shrine]

So I thought of something fun yesterday while I was playing Magic with my best friend. I haven't played the game in a long time but the single match I played with him seriously sparked the idea:

What if the Lords of Resident Evil Village geeked out one night and played Magic the gathering? What would their decks be like? Why would they choose the colors they do and what sort of strategies would they use? Keep in mind this is all fan speculation and just done for fun. That being said, let's check this out!

Alcina

Colors: green, blue, and white

Pretty much to everyone's surprise she doesn't use vampires in her deck. However she has a shit load of low cost elves, just to hold you over until she can get her big stuff out. She uses green for the effects of trample, reach, and some lifelink. Enchantments are mostly for their power ups, add more mana, or to turn mana into temporary creatures.

Blue is the color of no, you're actually not gonna do that and Alcina exploits the ever loving fuck out of this. This woman has counters for days and will not hesitate to use them. She does it partly for trolling and partly to keep her opponent from attacking while she's getting her bigger monsters out on the field. She actually has a wall that if she blocks with it your creature is more or less frozen and you can't use it as long as it's on the field. As far as creatures go in blue she really likes drakes and Nagas.

As far as white, she has three uses for it: healing her points, making tokens, and power ups for her monsters. As far as monsters go in this regard, she loves flying creatures because unless you have reach or another flyer, you cant block them. This annoys ans frustrates the hell out of players.

Downside: snowballing effect. You'll see this a lot with the lords, actually with the exception of maybe one. If you can get her points down early in the game before she gets her bigger green monsters out, you should be all set. Flyers and reachers are are must have if you're gonna take her on, also don't be afraid to counter her counters to ensure victory. Good luck!

2. Donna

Colors: green and black

Donna is a little more humble of a player. Relatively new to the game, she likes her decks to be simple and effective. Of the lords she's probably the easiest to beat...but...if she let's Angie play, you better bend over and pray to whatever deity you believe in because this doll may thrash you into oblivion if you're not ready. We'll talk about her in a minute.

Black is the color of high risk and high reward. It's a color that surprised the others when she started using it, as she doesn't seem to be the ballsy type. As far effects go, she enjoys the abilities of death touch and lifelink. She'll also take any chance on trying to bring one of her precious creatures back from the dead. She is not afraid to sacrifice her own life points in order to do this, which may work in your favor.

As far green goes, she also likes elves but any creature with forest walk or swamp walk is also a good thing in her books. So if you're a fellow Green or black player, good luck with blocking. As far as enchantments go for green, power ups and square up cards for days. Donna will power up her beasts and make them fight one of your own just to reduce your numbers and will do so gladly.

Downside: it's not a necessarily powerful deck. While it can be hard to be block, her monsters tend to be on the weaker side of don't really hit hard...however...

*Angie

Colors: every. Single. One. Even colorless.

That's right: this doll is not afraid to use fucking eldrazis and will do so with the biggest smile on her face. She also collects slivers...for fun. Of course she does. Angie's deck is an absolute chaotic mess from the outside looking in. To her opponents it looks like a mess and sheer nonsense, but through sheer power of absolute will, Angie usually pulls through with a win and on top of that will take your best card for wasting her time. She has stolen cards from the other lords and will keep doing so because deep down she's a card hoarder and her switchboard is actually as big her deck. It's terrifying. She's able to change the color of most of her creatures to colorless and of course the creatures of her opponents. She also uses some artifact creatures just for flavor.

Downside: this is an absolute nightmare deck to go up against, however she's made one serious mistake: her mana. Angie has surprisingly low mana and will either mana screw or mana flood herself. As scary as it is, the deck is a snowballer and it will take a while to come to its full power.

3. Salvatore

Colors: blue, black, green

Is anyone really surprised that this dude is a blue player primarily? If you thought Alcina was a master troll when it comes to counters, oh hell no. Sal will happily give her a run for her money. Lots of counters, lots of freezing effects, and at least one card that gives him the ability to take two turns. He also likes the cards that allow him to see some cards in his deck and then allow him to shuffle if things aren't going favorably. As for creatures, he adores leviathans and krakens, but also loves the tough as nails merfolk.

Black, as we established before, is a high risk high reward color, but Sal primarily uses it for the creatures with death touch, lifelink, and flying thrown in for flavor. As for enchantments, expect a lot of life points lost and a lot of exiles/discarding. He will use these abilities without hesitation or remorse.

Green is the color of enormous and numerous and Sal lives up to that expectation. He has a few smaller animal creatures to hold his opponent off while he gets his bigger stuff out. Some of his creatures have lifelink and forest walk, and some others have reach. He powers up his creatures and floods his side of the field with token creatures. If you're not careful or fast working enough, you could be staring down a big army of beast tokens very quickly.

Downside: snowballing effect...by a long shot. This deck is big and it has big creatures in it. Sal tends to either mana screw or mana flood himself. In times like these, time is of the essence. If you have creatures with haste, you're actually at an advantage, good job. If you're gonna take a shot at Sal, make it count. Strike fast and strike hard before he gets the leviathans out.

4. Karl

Colors: all of them (used to be red primarily, then red blue and green)

I'm a little biased here admittedly because I love Karl and I want him to be great at something besides being a weapon for Miranda. That being said, he will not hesitate to wipe the floor with your ass if you come off as a snotty cock sucker. If you're new to the game he won't annihilate you as hard, but he'll still beat you. You just won't wind up in the negatives.

Karl took a look at Angie's deck and was like, well I'm gonna take this idea and tame it. And holy shit did it work.

Red is the color of aggression. It's a strike fast and strike hard color. It's the color of burn, and burn you shall indeed. All of his red creatures have haste, meaning he can hit you with them when they come out. While the other colors have summoning sickness, red for Karl absolutely does not. He doesn't have time for that mess. Enchantments will basically allow him to destroy your mana, steal it, or go after your points directly. He won't hesitate to do this. At all.

Blue is the no! Color. And damn does Karl say no a lot. He likes the sort of enchantments that allow him to see into his deck or his opponents hand so that way he knows what to do next. As far as creatures go, he exploits the ever loving fuck out of island walk, since almost everyone uses blue. This makes it very hard to block him. If you're a primary blue player good luck.

Green- green is for reachers and lifelink. It's also really good for getting mana out very quickly. He has a couple spiders with death touch and at least one huge basilisk. Enchantments are for getting more lands out, and strengthening his creatures.

White- White is the color of spam for Karl. He'll make an army of token creatures just to throw them at you until your deck no longer functions. He also has at least two flyers, and one really big wall for blocking. Enchantments are usually power ups, or healing his life points.

Black: black is mostly for death touch, and swamp walk. There's also some lifelink thrown in for flavor. He loves nightmare creatures, and even has some vampires to throw at lady super sized bitch (hey at least he's not above using them!). He's also the only lord to use a planeswalker: vraska, the scheming gorgon. And yes all the lords hate him for it.

Downside: mana. Getting mana on the field for him is actually pretty hard. If he starts with anything besides red, you may have a chance to take him down early. If you have any haste creatures or enchantments that offer haste, for God's sake use it. If you have any creatures with any of the mana walks, you're in luck, in that case he can't block you at all. It's a major weakness he didn't think of. Do not let his vraska get to ten or you're a dead man, quite literally.

So I hope you guys enjoyed that because I seriously thought that was fun. I may do one of these for Miranda or even for the Dimitrescu sisters if you really want me to. Have fun yall, and happy gaming!

#magic the gathering #resident evil 8 #the four lords #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #karl heisenberg

[baebeyza]

Heya! ~

First of all, thank you for everyone who voted! Didn’t expect 44 people and it sure helped me in places to decide on things and being able to think of more plot :D

Lemme just go through all the questions under the cut:

1. Big or small cast?  Big cast but only caring about few does suit me! If it were a small cast, I’d probably have gone with a plot structure similar to Beast Wars. Like this, I can make the premise more like TFA (the premise is like TFA in a lot of ways btw).

And it does suit me as well to not have to figure out an arc for too many characters, I don’t want this whole thing to be too long. 

2. From which continuity would you like characters? This is a little hard to decipher, but suffice to say, most people want more G1 characters. Beast Wars and Japanese G1 have more votes as well! To Beast Wars: I love Beast Wars and its characters, however, I do not like to draw them. Their designs are cool and it’s not like I can’t draw them, I just prefer not to. So if I were to bring Beast Wars characters into this, I would change their designs for me to feel more comfortable drawing them. On another note, I also don’t like drawing animals (at all) so I’d probably give them a mechanic alt-mode with animal features in their robot mode (like the Breast Force in Victory)

As for Japanese G1, I do have quite a few planned! ~ As for G1 characters which never appear in another show...gotta say, most of those I don’t care for either. Some I do, but most not. Might bring them in somehow, but don’t expect them to have bigger roles. (exceptions exist, like Springer, love me the dude!)

3. Choose a dead Prime who ruled before Optimus! Sentinel won! Did like some of the extra choices as well though, like Prowl. Also noteworthy to me, no one voted for Arcee xD Guess no one wanted her dead.

4. Choose an Optimus Prime squad! So, for this I wanted to pick the two most voted guys and girls! And coincidentally, those happen to be the most of voted of them all! For guys, we have Jazz (not surprised by this) and Hot Rod, and for the girls, Elita and Arcee.

Guess that’ll be the squad.

Also, note here: A few people voted Ratchet as a custom answer and do not fret! He will be in this! This Optimus squad is simply a little group of Optimus and his close friends, and since I want to have a young Oppy, I want his friends to be in the same age range. On the same note, just because some characters aren’t in the friend group, doesn’t mean they won’t appear at all. Windblade and Jetfire for example are gonna be in this!

5. Choose a Megatron squad! This is about Megatron’s generals btw - characters who aren’t in this group can still appear! (examples are Cyclonus, Megaempress and Sixshot)

And again I want to choose equal part guys and girls, so for the guys, it’s Soundwave (boy getting loved I see), Starscream and Shockwave, and for the ladies, we have Nightbird, Blackarachnia and Strika.

A little note here: Because a friend commented on this I wanna make it clear: Drift/Deadlock will be based on the Aligned version, NOT on the IDW version. I had made it clear in the poll that I don’t like IDW1. (which I guess some people didn’t read, given that Tarn was given as a custom answer)

6. One love is story is planned, want any more?

I feel like I should have specified who the love story is about - It is about Megatron and Ultra Magnus. Big time. As for the answers, yes I can live them all! They don’t contradict each other anyway :D

7. Any ships you wanna see in this? Okay, the tricky stuff - as I said, the main love story is Megatron x Ultra Magnus, so any ship-wish that includes Megatron or Magnus here, sorry, not happening. I mean most don’t care, but for those who do:

- Dratchet: I know it’s an IDW thing, I can still think of something with the versions I have in mind if you still want that. - Windstream: Friends of mine wanted this, and I will try my best to make something nice out of it!

- JazzWave: Gotta see, so far I wouldn’t know how to include it

- Giving Arcee love: Got something nice and sapphic planned for her!

- Optimus/Elita: Again a friend wanted this, and I too would like to see them in a truly romantic light, so I’m going to include it!

- Happy ones, for the bad guys as well: Hell yeah! - Simpatico: I do not have Percy or Brainstorm planned in this

- Hot Rod/Arcee: I had another idea for Arcee, sorry! - Anything with Jazz: Good to know, if I can’t make it work with Soundwave, I’ll try with someone else (Hot Rod perhaps)

- Strika/Lugnut: Why not? Something in the background, as I have no plans for Lugnut - Windscream: Thing is, there are people who had this ship in the “Do not want” question that follows. Personally, I am indifferent to this ship, but since more people don’t want it (and because I have plans for Windstream), I’m going to pass on this. WaveWave: Gonna see how it goes with Jazz!

8. Anything you don’t want? Most people don’t care, which is nice, as for the things people listed: - Sparklings: Never planned them anyway, I want to go for something else to get parent/child dynamics. - Windscream, MegaStar, MegOP: See upwards, not going to happen here, same with DooP, since I wanna go with OpLita - “If functionalism exists, please don’t make the oppressed characters the villains for fighting back”: NO WORRIES, IS NOT PLANNED! Megatron’s backstory has no freedom fighter motive whatsoever. - Manipulative/abusive ships: Not planned - Bumblebee: Good luck, buddy, I didn’t have him planned either! xD - Slash: Tough luck, buddy, this will be one hell of a MagsMegs ride!

- Negativity directed at me: Thanks, pal! I do not wish for that either! :>

ALRIGHT, that would be it!

Again thanks for everyone who voted! I do hope to start with this in the near future and I hope it will be something enjoyable! <3 If there are questions about this, go ahead! <3 I’d be delighted :>

#transformers #maccadam #fan comic #fan continuity #transformer posting

[lobster-mobster-aq]

A Deep Dive Into the SAO I Thought I Was Watching

Read below the cut or here.

Have any of you ever read or watched a thing and thought it was well written and executed? Have you ever looked back a few years later and realize that you put way more thought into that piece of media than the author did? That perhaps maybe it was more of an accident that it was enjoyable than any real skill from the author? That the themes and symbolism and characterization weren’t really what you thought they were at all? That the elements that you thought were interesting and unique where just copy pasted from things that did them more cleverly but you just didn’t realize because you just hadn’t seen those things in other pieces of media before?

That was me with Sword Art Online.

The first part of season one at least. I unironically loved it. It wasn’t like I thought that it was perfect, but there was just something about it that I really enjoyed. I couldn’t help but wonder why people were so hard and down on it. It was a bit stupid but honestly name one anime fantasy show (or I guess SAO was technically sci-fi) that wasn’t stupid in some regard. And then there came the Alfheim arch and I um…kind of realized what everyone was talking about. I still held out for a bit. This was adapted from novels after all. Clearly they just rushed this part in order to get it to be the correct number of episodes.

*sigh*

But this isn’t going to be another essay about why SAO is…not objectively great. To be honest I still really like the first part. I recognize at this point, since I don’t really like anything else by Reki Kawahara that it is more chance and luck that I like the first part of season one of SAO than the fact like I like his writing. No, what this essay is going to be is an analysis on the show that I thought I was watching. A deep dive into the themes and ideas that I had assumed this show was about. I put tons of thought into watching the show, somewhat in defense of all the complaints it was getting. No guys, you have to realize, its actually good. Okay, here we go.

 Our world has been shaped by electronics. The fact that the internet exists has completely and radically changed our culture. The way we communicate, the way we think, and the way we experience relationships have all changed dramatically due to it. There have been many pieces of media that have explored it’s affect on culture, some mourning the change, some fearing it, and some embracing it. Today I want to talk about a show that touches on all three.

Sword Art Online, at it’s heart, is a show about how the things that happen online, in the digital world, mean something, whether those things be positive or negative. Any of us who have met people, or have internet friends, been bullied, or spent time in a video game have probably been told that it doesn’t count, since it is online. They’re not real friends, why bother spending time decorating a fake house in a game, it’s all just fake, why don’t you go outside and experience real life?

SAO is an unassuming, light hearted stab at that argument, and it does it by making the digital world a horrifying reality.

The premise of SAO is by no means unique. People get stuck in a video game, in this case the name of which is Sword Art Online, because the game is online, and they fight with swords. I’ve seen this trope before, you’ve probably seen this trope before, but SAO is the first time I’ve ever seen it where the stakes feel so real. Where the fun fantasy game takes on the harsher sides of real life, striping away the sense of safety that online interactions usually have, you don’t die for real, you have the ability to pretend to be someone you’re not. If the characters die in the game, they die in real life.

The main character is Kirito. Total loser nerd, real “you just don’t understand me” otaku, can’t talk to real people type. At first the main character throws himself into the world, instantly getting close to people and participating with others, becoming fast friends with another person Klein. Kirito seems to not care about his image, just loving to live in the world. Others buy the fact that he is an emotionally mature, competent, and cool individual.

Then blood drips from the ceiling of the game and some creepy, giant, cloak dude announces that you can’t log out of the game, and if you die in the game you die in real life. That the only way to escape the game is for at least one person to clear all one hundred levels. Akihiko Kayaba, the creator of the game, has for some reason no one can figure out, trapped everyone there. Oh, and also you no longer look like what you chose your character to look like, you are yourself. The aspects of the digital world, the safety net, the training wheels, are off.

Kirito flees. In the face of having to interact with people without the veneer of playacting, he falls into old habits, withdrawing into himself because he’s too scared to interact with people, he’s frightened of real human interaction. He puts on a front, claiming to himself it’s because he can’t be held back by the weaker characters, that the reason he flees from real human interaction is because he needs push himself to the limits of his character, and he can’t do that with all the dead weight. But it’s clear that’s just the lie he tells himself to cover up the truth. He, like many people, can’t stand his own self, and the internet was a good way to hide who he really was. He abandoned the connections he made at the start of the game, and he never fully repairs some of them. Klein was set to be a close and important friend, instead he becomes, at most, a distant acquaintance.

Kirito goes about his life, keeping himself from others, becoming incredible at the game, putting himself on a pedestal and telling himself that’s why he can’t interact with the riff raff, because he’s better than them. He is set apart from them because of his skill, and not because he has horrible interpersonal skills and doesn’t know how to actually interact with people without a false persona to hide behind. But then one day, he finally breaks, and a rag tag team convinces him to join their guild.

And everything goes to shit and everyone dies except Kirito. And these people are dead, for forever. This isn’t just something where they can log into the game again. Real relationships can hurt, because the consequences will have lasting effects, your can’t just log in later with a new avatar and start over. True, the consequences of a real relationship usually isn’t that the people you’ve come to care about die horrific deaths, but the point is still made. This world, which Kirito had entered in the hope of escaping a reality that he hated, had all the things of the real world he had been trying to escape. The fear of connection, the fear of being known. Even if he is a skilled and talented person now, instead of some hopeless loser good at nothing, somehow all the pain of real life still followed him. It doesn’t matter, this wish fulfillment is shallow, it doesn’t fulfill the wishes that Kirito actually cares about.

So Kirito withdraws even more, more convinced than ever that the only way to return to his reality, to get away from the hell that is the game is to set himself apart. Still playacting the part of some noble and untouchable genius, too advanced and cool to deal with the riff raff. He has a couple other adventures, where he denies himself real human interaction and keeps a cool appearance. Never getting too close to the people he interacts with. He keeps them at arms length. They look on at him as some distant and noble hero that can’t be understand, and Kirito wants to keep it that way, so that no one can meet the real him, the him that is weak, and pathetic, and a loser, and doesn’t know how to talk to people. Let them think he’s quite because he’s thoughtful, not because he doesn’t know what to say, let them think that he’s too far above them to form a connection, not that he’s terrified of vulnerability.

But then he meets a girl. She goes by the name Asuna and she just, kind of, doesn’t seem to get it. She just sort of acts like an actual person, and doesn’t seem to get the memo that she’s supposed to treat Kirito like some anti-hero loner. From an interaction that he actually had with her earlier on in the game, Kirito knows that she didn’t have much experience with video games before SAO. She has come into her own though, and she’s come into her own by acting like a reason person. In a way, she represents the exactly opposite of Kirito. Kirito hides his true personality and feelings behind a bit, because this world is too real to him, has all the aspects of real life he fled from. Asuna treats SAO like a game. She’s a pragmatic person who just wants to defeat the final boss so they can get out and get back to her real life. She doesn’t feel like the relationships here are real. Sure, they could lose their lives, but everything else is fake. The people you meet, the time you spend, just all twiddling your thumbs. Fake, not real, just a silly pass time for silly people.

This difference is driven home at the end of the show, where Kirito shares his real name, and asks what Asuna’s is so that he could find her. Surprised, Asuna says that she has been using her real name. The whole time, Kirito had been playacting a character, where as Asuna had just been herself.

They filled in a void in each other. Asuna get’s Kirito to really interact with people again, instead of keeping them at arms length, and Kirito helps Asuna see that the relationships you form online do matter, that, even in a silly game, the things you do and the people you meet have a lasting effect even when you log out.

There are a couple of arcs where Kirito and Asuna interact. The arcs continue to explore the idea of the difference between the importance of the digital world and reality. Including one of the best arcs of the entire show, where Asuna and Kirito have to solve the mystery of how people are dying in a safe zone, an area of the game where people aren’t supposed to die.

Kirito and Asuna predictably fall in love. Kirito showing Asuna that the relationships formed in the digital world do actually mean something real, and Asuna bringing Kirito out of his edge lord shell that he made for himself, to reveal that in truth he’s kind of an awkward dork. Once they actually fall in love the show takes an interesting turn. Their relationship looks nothing like that of two teenagers both experiencing a romantic relationship for the first time. It looks like an idyllic old married couple. They even do get married and adopt a child in the show. At first glance it may seem too unrealistic, but was actually one of the most clever character developments about the show. This development was meant to show case the effects that living in a “fantasy world” had put on these two young people.

Both Asuna and Kirito were living in the kind of world that teenagers dream about. What had been a fantasy and a form of escapism for them both was now reality. And it was awful, when the fantasy world had real stakes and real consequences. So what do these two do when they fall in love? They create for themselves another form of escapism. That of an old suburban married couple. In a way their marriage is an act, a way to lessen the stress of living in a dangerous world. Just two simple people, living a calm, unexciting, but never the less content life, because they had each other. The show never addresses how aware they are they that they are in fact acting out a part. Do they realize that they are playing parts? Or have they convinced themselves this is how a normal couple acts. The show never really gets into it, merely using this time to show how desperate the two are for a “normal” life, after the pain and horror of their escapism becoming reality. These few episodes, where they take a vacation after getting married, more clearly illustrate how much they have suffered more than any dramatic wailing, or desperately pained speeches they could give. Every moment they snuggled in bed, made food for each other, and took walks in the forest, spoke of the desperation they felt, even if it was for only a little, to get as far away from the world that they lived in.

After Kirito and Asuna live their escapist fantasy of being an old married couple we come to the climax. They are only on level seventy-five of one hundred, but they still barely pass. During it though, Kirito finally realizes something.

The person who had designed the game and trapped them all in there, Akihiko Kayaba, was playing. Kayaba was playing a character with all the skills, one of the best players in the game. Kirito realizes that Kayaba is living out his own fantasy, that this world was created, not for some grand purpose, not for a political statement, or to accomplish something grand. Simply to live out his fantasy. Who Kayaba is as a person is never really explored, all we know about him is that this world was for him, a way for him to make reality the world he always wished to live in. A world where he was important, a world where he was the leader and people respected him, and he lead others bravely.

Kayaba becomes the final boss, and predictably he is beaten after a grand fight of a lot of sword thrusts and sparkle animations. Once Kayaba is defeated, the world begins to slowly fade, as if to reaffirm that, yes, without Kayaba alive, the world has no purpose, since it was created for him.

Kayaba even speaks with Kirito and Asuna. A meandering, pandering discussion, where Kayaba tries his best to hold onto some remnants of the man he was pretending to be. We see a brief glimpse of the kind of limp, spineless jerk Kirito would have become if he hadn’t grown up. We see Kayaba in his real form, not his game avatar, but still he speaks in vague poetic language, he talks about having a dream about a city in the sky and makes his base and selfish desires to be important sound like some noble hope. He claims he “doesn’t remember why” he trapped them all in there. In a way that’s true. Because until the very last moment, SAO was real to everyone trapped in there, except for Kayaba. He had the power to change things, to hack the system, to live as a god. For him, the game was his personal fantasy manifest into reality.

After Kayaba dies, and is defeated, he realizes this, and covers his own disappointment of his project with his pretty language. He didn’t “forget” he just realized that it was pointless. None of the attachments he ever made were real, the life he led in the game had, for him, merely been a game. The only real moment was when he let Kirito kill him. He could have hacked the system and made it so he didn’t die in real life but he didn’t, in some desperate attempt to live something real as the world he had created crumbled apart.

Kayaba leaves, and Asuna and Kirito promise they will find each other in the real world. They will meet the real versions of themselves. What they experienced in the digital world was real, and they will cling to it in the real world too.

The world continues to fade, and then Kirito wakes up. His real body thin and weak. The show ends with him getting out of bed and walking through the hospital. No epilog, or final comments. We don’t know if Kirito is looking for someone specific, or simply looking to tell someone he is now awake, he’s come back, and he’s ready to become the real him.

…

But that wasn’t the end of the show and every episode after that one just reaffirmed the fact that I probably thought a bit more about the themes and the characterization that Reki Kawahara did. He seems like a nice enough guy but…after reading some of the books and watching more of the material, I don’t think he meant most of what I just described. Maybe a bit of the whole, what you do in the digital world matters and is real, but not much of anything else. I’m thinking that Kirito was supposed to be taken literally, not as an antisocial teenager terrified of real connection putting on a front. I’m pretty sure that the relationship between Kirito and Asuna wasn’t supposed to be seen as a form of escapism fantasy, and that they actually weren’t putting on a front when they acted like an old married couple. Also I might have read way more into Kayaba’s motivation than I was meant to.

At the end of it all, I still like the first part of season one. I like my interpretation. Yes there are still problems with the pacing, the end feels like it just sort of…happens, instead of getting to it naturally. Kirito just, suddenly realizes the truth. The second half doesn’t carry nearly the weight it should in terms of “holy shit this world is real if you die in the game you die in real life” which lessens the strength of the themes. There are, of course, a few other small things I thought could be changed, but that’s not really what this article is for. Perhaps in a way this is my defense for liking that part of SAO, or at least an explanation for why I’ve watched it multiple times even though I’m not fond of the rest of the franchise.  

 Bonus:

This isn’t really big enough to have it’s own post so I’m just gonna put it here, the way SAO ends in my head.

This, of course, takes place at the end of the first part. Pretty much everything stays the same all through the credits as Kirito takes his painful and slow time walking down the hospital hallway. Then the music end, and instead of going black, we see Kirito stop. He looks to his side, where one of the hospital doors are open. Inside the room is a frail looking girl staring at a NervGear helmet, her hair is chestnut brown. She looks up and her eyes go wide as she sees Kirito. We switch back to Kirito, his eyes are also wide. They tear up the slightest amount, and a faint smile touches his face.

We cut to black.

The end and nothing is ever done with this franchise again.

#soa #sword art online #kirito #asuna #reki kawahara #alexquillian

[sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shelby]

Possibly my most epic DnD session yet! (now with sloppy illustrations!)

****Late-game spoilers for Hoard of the Dragon Queen****

I play as Killian Lyle. Level 6 human fighter, eldritch knight, lawful good. +4 str, con. -2 cha. You know the type.

Others in the party are: Rat-Rat, the forest gnome druid. Syrris, the wood-elf rogue. Montagor, the half-elf bard.

So, the last thing Killian did the session before was reenter a tavern our party got kicked out of and try to bribe the tavern keeper to help us get past some baddies. Big tough-looking tavern keeper grabs his weapon. *Roll initiative* End of session.

In Killian’s hands were a shield and a loaf of bread he had recently been served in that tavern. He was alone, the rest of his party discussing plans outside. We all rolled initiative, but only Killian was aware there was going to be combat so far. A couple of the party members got to go first. Basically just wandered town square, taking in surroundings. There are a whole bunch enemy guards nearby, watching, but not picking a fight with the group. 

Killian’s turn. He steps forward and tries to FORCE THE LOAF OF BREAD INTO THE GUYS MOUTH to catch him off-guard and maybe keep him quiet for a second. SMASHING SUCCESS! Guy is unable to stop me from jamming those carbs down his throat and drops his weapon. I bonus action my sword to my hand.

Tavern-keeper’s turn. DM has the guy do a con save to make sure he doesn’t CHOKE TO DEATH AND DIE!  *shit, shit, I didn’t want to kill him!!!* Luckily he saves and is able to clear his airway of bread. He starts swinging fists and misses.

Keep going in initiative order. Guest calls out “HES FIGHTING THE BARTENDER!” Most guests at the tavern flee upstairs, but 2 pull daggers and join in. Montagor the bard hears some commotion and opens the door to see Killian shoving bread down the tavern-keeper’s throat and other people moving in with weapon’s drawn. Tries playing the bagpipes nice and loud for extra diversion, but nat 1′s and pops the bag. Syrris the rogue comes in and starts quietly and *permanently* eliminating anyone attacking with a weapon. Killian tries multiple times to thunk the tavern-keeper on the head with the hilt of his sword well enough to knock him out, but the dude keeps fighting. Poor guy can’t make a single hit though. 

This fight’s going longer than Killian was hoping. He tries a different tactic: INTIMIDATE. Another smashing success. Like a 19 or something, since intimidate is his one charisma-based skill that doesn’t get a negative modifier. BARTENDER GETS A NAT 1! Surrenders. Killian backs off just before the Captain of the group of enemies walks in.

“WHAT”S GOING ON IN HERE!?”

Killian gambles on deception. NAT 20 “Some guys were fighting the tavern-keeper. We helped. They’re dead now.”

Intimidated tavern-keeper nods, says they were going to rob him.

Enemy captain thanks us for protecting his friend and leaves. WOW, DODGED A BULLET THERE!

We head out too, Killian dropping a couple of gold coins for the tavern-keeper as he heads out, and start looking for a good way to get past the guards. We’re trying to get into a GIANT ICE CASTLE that’s about to FLY AWAY. Time’s running out. I’m not sneaky, but we’re about to give it a try, see if our amazing rolls continue. We decide to peek in the giant stable that had HUGE REPTILIAN GROWLS coming from it. This would either be really bad or really good for us. 

Really good! Tied-up wyverns along one wall, riding harnesses on the other. The ice castle begins to take off. Guess we’re doing this! We smell the stink of meat from a nearby building. The rogue is unable to carry a full pig carcass herself. Killian goes to help. NAT 20! Throws a pig over one shoulder, and a sheep over the other and marches off toward the wyverns. Killian has crap animal handling skills, but Rat-Rat the druid doesn’t. Killian keeps the things distracted with bites of meat, Rat-Rat puts the harnesses on them with great success. We climb on, again without incident. And Rat-Rat is apparently a natural-born dragon-rider because he came up with an incredible plan that worked without a hitch. 

Minor-illusion the image of a fat turkey, flying just out of reach of the wyvern. Bard prestidigitation’s the smell of juicy meat coming off the “turkey”. Wyverns were eager to follow. Probably more complicated than it needed to be, but hey, it has pizzazz!

We are able to catch up to the ice castle and land they wyverns near another stable that they seemed trained to fly to. Looking around, ogres and kobolds seem to pay us no mind. Guess randos flying in on the backs of dragon things is a normal sight around here. But as it starts getting dark, creatures seem to hurry their tasks and make their way indoors. We figure we’d better do so as well. Quietly enter the first door we approach. Amazingly, nobody’s there. Not out and about anyway. There’s a comfortably furnished room right when we walk through the door, but we decide to keep exploring. Rat-Rat casts detect magic. The comfortable room has an illusory wall to an outside platform, but nothing else of note. 

We hear a familiar voice arguing with another voice in another room. A wizard we’d rather not exchange blows with if we can help it. Luckily, according to the DM’s dice rolls, they notice nothing.

Then, further down the hall we heard another familiar voice. Rezmir, the dragonborn cult leader we’ve been tracking for MONTHS. Basically in the first spot we look. Wow, really? And none of us are hurt. Most of us have all of our spell slots and other abilities still available to us. Could this be more perfect? Rat-Rat does see a bit of magic in the room in the last moments before his spell times out, but that’s to be expected, right?

There is a lock.“It looks much more complicated than any lock you’ve encountered before”, the DM tells us. But our rogue is pretty skilled in her arts. She decides to give it a try. 

“With my modifier that was a 30.″ Huh. What luck. DM said later that was a DC 25 lock. 

Rezmir was inside, sitting on her bed in her pajamas, just loving on her doggos. I mean attack drakes. Not paying us any mind whatsoever. *roll initiative*

Syrris goes first. Perfect opportunity for an assassination with her poison dagger and all those extra dice rolls she gets in just this sort of situation. She steps into the room and is SNATCHED UP AND HELD DOWN BY A SENTIENT AREA RUG! I should’ve drawn this part too because I can’t help but imagine the magic carpet from Aladdin wrestling the elf.

Anyway, fighting then ensues. Attack drakes come running, keeping the rest of the party besides the rogue out in the hall. Rezmir starts out unarmed, and shoots off a scary-looking spell at our bard. It misses and melts the wall behind him. Thank goodness it missed. Rogue takes 2 turns escaping the rug, Rezmir runs for her sword across the room. Rat-Rat’s moonbeaming Rezmir rather successfully. Killian and the Montagor are mostly in melee with the drakes, but Killian did start with a firebolt to Rezmir’s face. This fight hurts, both sides taking plenty of damage.

The rogue is taking the brunt of the damage trapped inside the bedroom with the dragonborn and that mean magic carpet. She takes it like a champ, but there’s a turn for the worse when she’s ready for healing. The bard’s starts coming to her aid, and she takes more damage, this time from the sword. Healing has no effect from that point.... The sword did something to stop her from regaining hit points, and after the significant damage from its blade, that’s bad news.

Bard and Rogue get caught in a breath attack, and the rogue goes down. Killian and Rat-Rat are still outside of the room, Killian around a corner and can’t actually see Rezmir from where he’s at. Shit. We still have one drake remaining. Killian tries his best with two attacks to eliminate it, but does min damage on both and it remains standing. Fuck it. Time for an Action Surge. Moves past the drake to where he’s in melee with Rezmir herself, stepping out from around the corner. Double attack again. Hits on both. NAT 20 ON THE SECOND! 

“How did it happen?”, the DM asks. I’m floored that I managed to down her in that hit.

“Killian steps around the corner, swinging his sword to where her saw the breath attack originate, slicing through her pajamas into the scales beneath. He then makes eye contact with her and sees the recognition in her face as she looks his way in surprise, even as he’s pulling back his sword for a second strike. Killian lunges full-force, plunging the sword right through her before she has the chance to react.”

“FOOLS!”, she cries out with her final breath as she disintegrates into ash, her sword and a couple of keys clanging to the floor where she had stood. Simultaneously an ornate chest in the far corner of the room violently explodes, destroying anything that might’ve been inside.

We rush to the Syrris, and Rat-Rat stabilizes her. Killian places her on the bed to rest. Then eyes turn toward the items Rezmir left behind. Killian voices that the rogue won’t be pleased to see the chest exploded when she regains consciousness, but doesn’t personally care much that the loot is no more. The party uses one of the keys in the pile of ash that was Rezmir to relock the room so they can use the comfortable chamber for a night of recuperation before continuing venturing back into the castle.

“Killian, I think you’re the only one of us that could wield that sword.”, Rat-Rat squeaks, pointing to the one remaining object on the ground.

The sword is jagged and black with a purple crystal in the hilt. Something about it makes Killian uneasy.

Killian replies, “A greatsword... Doesn’t really suit my fighting style. But it seems a powerful blade. ” Then he picks it up off the floor feeling powerful magic coursing through it, and hears a voice in his head.

“Hello”, the sword whispers, darkly. “You enjoyed that kill, didn’t you.”

Oh man, having my lawful good, magic fanatic, fighter boy weigh the benefits of wielding a legendary magical sword of untold power, against the moral drawback of it being intelligent and EVIL is going to be a wild ride. He has attuned to it, and we’ll see where this takes us. 

I’m still reeling from all the amazing things that happened in this session. What a day for Killian in particular. 

#dnd #dnd stories #dnd art #dungeons and dragons #human fighter #eldrtich knight #hoard of the dragon queen #dnd story #rezmir #dnd comic #magic weapon #dnd adventures #sketch #fighter #hotdq

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

MHA Song Analysis - You Say Run (lyrical vers.)

i told myself i wouldn't do this but here we are

SO i don't think this song is like sung from midoriya’s pov, but is sung to him by everyone who cares about him (all might, inko, the izucrew, class 1-a in general, etc)

because izuku’s whole Issue is that he has no self-preservation. like i know we make jokes abt this but dude is seriously near actively suicidal with how negligent he is to his own health and safety. he’s so determined to be a hero that he doesn't care what it costs him -- as long as he's the one paying the price, that is (biggest example of this is his arms and how he’s literally punched the use out of them at 15)

he also hates bringing up his problems and how he feels. we see this implicitly w the fact that he’s never confronted bakugou abt their past and explicitly w the scene where he has a breakdown and iida and todoroki calm him down, but he says “heroes don't cry” and hides his face, etc

so i think this song is his loved ones coming together to be there for him and get it thro his thick skull that he doesn't need to save the world before he can save himself and i'm so fuckign emo so let's just jump into it

here’s the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us82yZTkO6g&feature=youtu.be

i referenced a comment on the youtube video for the lyrics hhh. it should be near the top but if not uhh good luck trying to double-check me sorry i couldn't provide a more concrete source this time djkfjkf

ok let's go

“you're not alone, there’s no doubt your gift isn’t futile to be” okay so let’s get to the point first of all; all of midoriya’s loved ones Need him to know that he is not alone. midoriya probably has a mindset where he’s used to thinking he’s alone, due to how he grew up friendless and antagonized, and i have no doubt whatsoever that he hasn’t actually completely shrugged this mindset off. so his loved ones need him to know that he’s not alone anymore and they are here for him dammit so he doesn’t need to shoulder everything by himself his “gift” is not one for all but his kindness and love for the world. it “isn’t futile to be” because midoriya is obviously going to become a hero and thus, put those traits into good use. he’s going to be an inspiration for more than his physical strength; his most powerful aspects are his gentleness and compassion

“if we’ll be united, we’re stronger together” this kinda goes back to the “you're not alone” line. his loved ones have assured him that he’ll be a great hero on his own with the “no doubt your gift isn’t futile to be” line, but they’re letting him know that he can be “stronger” w his loved ones by his side; he doesn’t need to lone-wolf it. you're stronger when you're fighting alongside your loved ones while simultaneously fighting for them, right? so they're basically introducing that concept to our green bean here

“we always have the high hope” “high hope” = high ground if u will. they have the advantage in any battle if they have midoriya’s brand of determination and spirit. also midoriya does not let go of hope like at all. even after that awful as hell childhood, he still clung to hope and he still dared to dream and that’s really important. this is his loved ones acknowledging that, but probably inko in particular bc she’s been there in his life for every single hardship

“not all for one but one for all” this is definitely a toshinori-exclusive line. it's not subtle at all that this line is abt the quirk and the villain, but what i think it’s saying exactly is that the burden that one for all brings its users does not need to be solely on midoriya’s shoulders alone (all for one); he has loved ones and allies and coworkers and teachers that are there for him and will guide him and support him, thus sharing the burden (one for all). midoriya doesn’t need to save the world himself

“don't worry ‘bout a thing” the classic comfort token(tm). no but i feel like this is his loved ones kinda saying “don't worry [about things you can't control because you're only human].” bc obviously midoriya is human and also himself so he’s going to worry, but they're here soothing his anxiety and irrational fears, as they have already addressed his more rational fears in earlier lyrics

“we’ll reach out to you/even if it’s a harder way/it’s plain to see the reason why/oh that’s all because of the mighty heart” midoriya’s loved ones are promising him here that they are always going to do their best to support and love him adequately. they know he has a habit of hiding his feelings and other problems and that that could lead to some issues, hence the “even if it’s a harder way”, but they're going to keep loving him anyway why? well, “it’s plain to see the reason why oh that’s all because of the mighty heart.” midoriya’s heart and soul are so pure and so good and just completely full of kind intentions. all midoriya has ever wanted to do was, to quote his own words, “become a hero and save people with a smile.” he loves so fiercely and so quickly and it has changed all of the lives of everyone he’s met, particularly his loved ones. like toshinori would be dead w/o midoriya, as would probably iida and todoroki (stain arc and quirk complications each). they love midoriya and all that he has done for them, and so it is more than worth it to be there for him in return

“remember that it’s just natural that we’ll be there if you need help” they are saying that, as midoriya’s loved ones, as people who love him, it’s only natural that they care for him and want to see him happy, just like he does them. they're kinda using any excuses he could come up about “not deserving their support” against him. they're letting him know they're there for him and again, most importantly, that he does not have to deal with ofa and all of his other burdens alone

“far across the distance/rest assured that our faith won’t die” this distance is both physical and emotional. inko in particular is distanced physically, now that izuku is living at the dorms, but she is still going to be there for him. emotionally, the distance is the blocks midoriya puts up to keep from acknowledging his seriously negative feelings, at least from others. however, like they say in the song, “rest assured that our faith won’t die”; they’re not going to give up, bc midoriya wouldn’t give up. they believe in him and love him sm

“you know we apt to sacrifice ourselves/whatever they may say” his friends/toshinori in particular are saying this line. hero work is a dangerous job, obviously, and they all signed themselves up to be public servants in such a dangerous field, meaning its kinda their job to sacrifice themselves if needed. however, this is again letting midoriya know he’s not alone in this risk, as “we apt to sacrifice ourselves” the “whatever they may say” bit is abt media and the public. they will sing midoriya’s praises and some may criticize him, but they're letting him know that they don't know him like they do. they don't love him like they do. but midoriya’s friends and toshinori will bear the burden of media together as they are all heroes. they wont leave him alone in any of this

chorus once more (”it’s plain...won’t die”)

anyway i’m crying midoriya loves so much and he is loved so much in return thank you and goodnight

#i love doing analyses #pls let me know if yall would like to see more #djkdjk #c makes a word #textpost #midoriya izuku #heroes rising #rising heroes #i suppose lol #izuku midoriya #deku #deku midoriya #izuku #midoriya #bnha #my hero academia #boko no hero academia #my hero academy #boku no hero academia #mha #buko no hero academia #meta #analysis #mha analysis #bnha analysis #bnha meta #mha meta #bnha deku #mha deku #song analysis

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Finland to Eurovision with a meme icon and his side-kick

“heeeeeey what is that song on that video???” Definitely not Darude - Sandstorm. Grow the fuck up.

I mean that they basically threw off the open call for songs from Finnish artists, instead opting for having one artist national final, usually one very known but very gettable-bored-of name so that they could get some more viewership rather when they pick a random nobody from a bunch of other random nobodies. Last year YLE got themselves an artist whose Eurovision ticket was long overdue, but this year they went the extra step and brought us HIM.

No, not that HIM. They can't go anyway as they've already disbanded. I'm talking about HIM.

Yes, THAT HIM. Meet Toni-Ville Henrik Virtanen, which thankfully has a pseudonym to publish his music with - Darude. Almost 20 years ago he published this beautiful techno single "Sandstorm" with lyrics like "du du du du du du du du du du du du". And now it's become the big-ass target of memery for the past few years on the Internet, with Darude being very well aware of it all - I don't think he has escaped questions about "Sandstorm" now that the Eurovision interviewers media is on horizon and interviews literally every single representative, no matter if they're shy or unpopular with the bookies at all.

And even if "Sandstorm" was the only thing to shake his tiny little Finnish world, it did not break Darude to be just a one-hit wonder (well he still looks like one but yeah) and he's got more music out ever since. And it probably sounds a little too tragic when YLE resorts to just nagging and begging Darude to represent their nation, even kinda secretly hoping that thanks to him Finland can have a qualification just solely for the meme factor. Darude even said so that he at first rejected their calls, but this year became THE year for him to go, and he's not alone obviously - his credited vocalist friend for this ride to Tel Aviv became Sebastian Rejman, a bit washed-up media star who already did some collaborating with Darude.

So the format was basically the same for this year's UMK - artist announced separately, then each of their 3 songs gets published every week on a specific weekday, with single cover art and a music video already, and the Finnish people together with international juries vote for the best track. Simple as that. Unlike with Saara Aalto though, all Darude & Sebastian songs were barely even distinct from one another in sound - just techno songs that have a piece of "Sandstorm" with themselves. Well only 2 do anyway. But still, techno/house songs to listen to on the radio when you're driving and minding your own business. And I had hard time picking favourites but all of them were alright I guess. Yet somehow my least favourite happened to win... and that was "Look Away", very much so inspired by natural disasters and how do we all ignore everything around us. No matter if it's a storm or hurricane or tornado or wind throwing sand at our eyes.

I don't know why the song didn't click with me all that much at first, I suppose it was because it's just a mindless gloomy techno song that raises global awareness (we already have Denmark talking about that, but they're insisting that "love is forever", while Finland is just... getting up more seriously in all this), and besides that, it's just incredibly repetitive. It consists more of the pre-chorus-ish chorus (I mean the line "is it in my head? Am I the only one?" and that other line preceding) and the actual chorus that mostly goes like "look away, look away, look away...". Even to the point when the song ends with some additional “look away”ing but under a different drum beat. What's it with Finns having a passion for the word "away"? We already had seen them sending a "Sing It Away", which was basically a cheer-up tune telling you to sing your problems off... while this year? We're trying to NOT look into the problems dead in the eye. We're looking... erm, uh, away.

But now I do have to say that I somewhat like it. Tell it to ya - the B minor chord is possibly one of my least favourite music keys, so I might as well be a little bit more negative on it if takes the song with itself to sound incredibly dull and painfully meh. So thankfully we'll be hearing it live half a step lower (idk if that's what it is with most EDM singers in Eurovision that shit like this can be possible, as well as idk why are they allowed into Eurovision in the first place. But seriously, why can't you just choose the same key you sang in in studio for Eurovision...), which made the song sound better to me - as a Nightcore junkie, I am passionate about hearing songs in different keys all the darn time, to see in what key would a certain song sound the best. It's usually the song's key that makes me like a song better or worse live rather than a live performance itself (though in some NFs I can see which of my favourite acts are DoA by not even emoting towards them - my emotion has to be evoked, and if I evoke it on purpose, well then, I'd just rather stay motionless completely on anything and only yelp if a song causes me to do this unexplainedly). We'll see how Sebastian will execute his singing live. As for now, he's the captain of this sinking ship that hit a small iceberg (another one of the disasters we usually "look away" from until it's found in our history books). Not Darude. Darude's just merely a musical hold-up of the disaster. It all has to depend on the vocalist and if the staging clicks with the audience. Sure, Darude can put on a red wig and green sunglasses so that he could click with the meme audience, but that won't get the Finns far.

So I like this song, it actually has some cool musical moments thrown in (I like the piano for one), I can enjoy this off my free time. But Estonia does it better at the "Finno-Ugric EDM-ish entry about Mother Nature's tantrums" category and I ain't even sorry for saying this. But I gotta be sorry for Darude. This year's UMK had the lesser care about it because... well, these songs weren't exactly inspiring or anything, and with people wanting something groundbreaking, their hopes kept on vaning away with each and every song release of the UMK entries': "oh so the next 2 two songs will be good right?" "oh so then the last one will be the best one, yeah right?" "...oh, okay then .-." And him, as the Finnish meme king, should have deserved a better year for a better Eurovision stint, so he could have become something à la Epic Sax Guy. Right now I mostly see a middle-aged DJ with 2 kids, not a redhead dude with green sunglasses looking shadily on us. And that's okay sometimes because memes don't necessarily need to be remembered for memes (just like I mostly remember Kanye West for music, and then memes come second), but Finland's gonna take a miracle to get through, and I hardly see any. That's an aina mun pity.

Approval factor: Eh, it's alright, but I would certainly not hold it up to high regards post-contest? lol.

Follow-up factor: it's kiiiiinda bleak knowing that after giving us probably one of the most favourable dark horse efforts for Eurovision they're now going down the dancier route, with one entry after being a banger, the other being a dad banger. Ah well. It doesn't flow so neatly in my eyes, it seems.

Qualification factor: almost dead in the tracks. Finland flows anywhere they can, having a lot of bad luck for 3 years this decade, and I doubt that the juries will be supporting this heavily, considering they are better at rating good vocalists over bad ones, so I don't think this will sail through. But I secretly have hopes in this. It's not that bad, but Estonia is in this semi too, and it's a friendlier EDM track, so I don't quite think that repetitive will out-compell the good formulaic. Plus, Sebastian has a lot to fix vocally, and I doubt that he will carry Finland any further if he doesn't fix anything, so so far the chances of Finland aren't looking up imo. Bottom 5 at the semi is more likely if not already the actual outcome. Maaaaybe 10th in the semi at best, but I doubt it.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

The more this section pops up in my works, the less I wanna recap national finals anymore. I hope there’s more breather moments with me having to review a lot of internal selection songs in between the ones from NFs, because this whole season was an utter disaster, and it’d help if the next one isn’t. So let’s check in on Finland's selection’s best:

• But seriously, did anyone ever see Darude as a Finnish representative coming??? No??? Me neither. I was just sitting there, waiting to see if there's a hope for Mikael Saari (you know, that balladeer guy from previous UMKs - I do believe some audiences love him just as much as Saara Aalto, who only was on one UMK and one Euroviisut) to be announced on this special separate programme. Nope - the trilingual hosting trio of the programme that included Krista Siegfrids in it as the token Swedish speaker just happened to happily proclaim Darude as THE Finnish hopeful... and the world was s h o o k e t h. Just look at him go. His smug grin is still iconic on here.

• During the wait for all the UMK songs to pile up, the excitement for Darude faded away and everyone moved on to support other countries. I can't blame them, because I have found like one decent song this UMK that's still worth listening to twice a year or so - "Superman". Where Darude becomes the everyday hero for ordinary people that have difficulties in live to do mundane stuff. Maybe this song would have made him look like a better meme than his current entry would have? Just watch him go on his DJ booth dressing like a knock-off superhero because EBU doesn't allow blatant advertising. A way better gimmick than Gromee's snakey hands. Alas, no one will have to hear "Superman" anymore. Granted it's just an EDM song just like any other, but somehow I liked it best, end of.

• There's at least one memorable screenshot from UMK as well, so I'm happy with that. I saw this pop up on my Twitter time line and I could not stop laughing inside. Seriously. Krista and this other guy should host ESC provided Eurovision is ever coming back to Finland. They had a lot of iconic outfit changes during the NF itself (and the NF itself had "Look Away" with some dancer on a cube but they scrapped the tall cube for Tel Aviv entirely), but those floral onesies are my favourite.

Now I kinda hope that there’s something that will alarm YLE in the meantime that Finland needs a better approach for Eurovision and we’ll see another fully-fledged UMK in the works next year, and then Finland can be great again. For now, I’ll just wish “onnea” to Darude and Sebastian, with hopes that people don’t look away from their song at all! (but most likely they will so what’s the point.)

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #finland 2019 #darude ft. sebastian rejman #look away #finland

[jadorehale]

just dudes being bros

I found this deeeeep within my computer folders. I remember writing it in 2016 while the anime was airing and then not liking it but I just did a quick read and ehh it's not the worst thing I've ever written {ao3}

Figure Skating News: Five-time world champion coach, Victor Nikiforov, and protégée, Katsuki Yuuri, share friendly congratulations peck at Cup of China.

The Daily Mail: 7 Things You Need to Know About Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki’s Gold Medal Friendship!

People Magazine: Spotted: Victor Nikiforov & Yuuri Katsuki snuggling closely on ‘bros date’ at Barcelona’s most romantic restaurant!

ESPN: Yuuri Katsuki chimes in on why relationship with world-famous coach, Victor Nikiforov, has been a success! “Victor and I make love multiple times a day,” the figure skater says. These two seem to be the best of friends!

❄

“How come it doesn’t bother you that the international media is still portraying our relationship as platonic? Do you even care?”

“No. Not really.”

“But they’re refusing to take our relationship seriously!”

“So?”

“And all those weird pictures they print of us making out, they keep calling them ‘friendly embraces.’”

“Well, our mouths are great friends at this point.”

“Victor!” Yuuri whined with a pout.

“Yuuuuuri!” Victor sang back, grinning.

While it was true that Yuuri was most adorable when he was angry and riled up, Victor sure wished that Yuuri would put all that fire into preparing for his competition instead of looking up pointless crap to get upset about on his phone. Today was the day of Grand Prix Final free skate and no one knew more than Victor how badly Yuuri wanted that gold medal. As his coach, Victor’s sole focus was on making sure Yuuri’s body was one-hundred percent ready for his program. Which was why he really needed Yuuri to focus on stretching and warming up.

However, as a boyfriend, it really irritated Victor to see Yuuri concerning himself with the silly tabloids that were being written about them. Victor had no idea what Yuuri wanted him to say about the issue or if he was just seeking out validation for his indignation. In truth, Victor didn’t give a crap. If you’d asked him a year ago if he’d ever imagined him and Yuuri becoming an item, he would’ve said no. He’d never dreamed he could be so lucky to be in a relationship with Yuuri, who he’d been head over heels for since the night they first met. So, it was quite difficult for him to care about any negative things people had to say.

“But aren’t you the one who loves attention?” Yuuri stressed. “If the press caught wind of how it really is between the two of us, it would be a media frenzy!”

“Well, short of Phichit Chulanont, the paparazzi are the second best photographers in the world.”

He grabbed the phone from Yuuri’s hand and scrolled through the article until he stopped on a photo of the two of them leaving their hotel, fingers laced together as they shielded their eyes from the sea of flashing cameras.

He held the photo out to Yuuri and said, “Look, how cute! We should have it framed!”

Since he was about to skate, Yuuri didn’t have his glasses on and had to squint to view the photo clearly. When he finally did see the shot that Victor had been raving about, his face fell and he sent Victor a flat look. “Victor, you’re the only one that looks good in this picture.”

“Exactly!” Victor beamed. Someone should’ve told Yuuri that he had a big, fat booger hanging from his nose and spinach in his teeth before he’d been photographed. That person probably should’ve been Victor. But Victor always managed to look like a model in candids, flashing the crowd his signature wink as he casually flipped his hair. “Who knew there’d be such talent in a group of professional camera-holding stalkers.”

Along with his now ritualistic pre-game cry and cuddle session, Yuuri had developed an unhealthy habit of googling nasty things being said about him on the internet to get revved up. For anyone else, this action would seem conceited and egotistical. But for Yuuri, seeing how much people hated him and were attacking him for stealing Victor from the sport online made him even more determined to succeed and show the world that only he could satisfy Victor. It was ridiculous, and absurd, and Victor would be putting an end to it once the Grand Prix Finals were over. However, he wasn’t about to halt anything that could potentially help Yuuri in his fight for gold. But, Yuuri had read enough offensive, anonymous, cyber-bullying comments for one day.

Victor tossed the phone over his shoulder without bothering to see where it landed and ignored Yuuri’s outraged cries. He got a firm grip of Yuuri’s knees and drew them down toward his chest, stretching out his hamstrings.

“My phone screen had better not be cracked!”

“Uspokoit'sya! Don’t worry. You have an Otterbox case. They’re indestructible.” Victor glanced back and saw that a crowd of people were now trampling over the phone, kicking it along as they went but felt no dire urge to chase after it. “No more news headlines,” he told Yuuri sternly. “We need you in the zone for your free skate. Now, give me fifty sit-ups.”

Groaning loudly, Yuuri did as he was told, exercising his abdominal muscles as Victor anchored his feet. It was amazing how far Yuuri had come under his tutelage. Not that Yuuri needed Victor in the first place. He had more than enough potential and talent to do this all on his own. For Victor, it was an honor to watch Yuuri flourish into such an impressive skater. This was the most fun Victor had ever had in his career. Far more enthralling than his own successes. He lived to surprise the masses, and if there was anyone that could shock the world with such a strong comeback after placing dead last the previous year, it was Katsuki Yuuri.

“Twenty more, little piggy,” Victor instructed, proud when Yuuri continued without complaining.

On his last one, he leaned forward and crashed his lips against Victor’s which was a very welcomed surprised. Victor hummed when the kiss turned bold, parting his lips as Yuuri’s tongue licked obscenely into his mouth. Positive reinforcement was important to Victor as a coach and Yuuri deserved a reward for his good behavior.

He’d almost forgotten they were in public until he heard, “Look mommy! Those boys are in love!”

Pulling away, Victor turned and saw a little girl gawking at them with wide eyes and pointing a chubby little finger in their direction. She couldn’t have been more than four-years-old and was so darn cute that Victor was seriously contemplating kidnapping her. She tugged on her mom’s skirt, demanding her attention, and pointed again for her mother to see when Victor closed the distance and placed a soft kiss on Yuuri’s cheek.

“Honey! Haven’t I told you it’s so rude to point!” Her mother quickly swatted her hand down, blushing from severe embarrassment as she began to explain, “They’re not in love. It’s just a good luck kiss between coach and skater. It happens all the time. No way notorious playboy Victor Nikiforov is off the market.”

Victor didn’t need to see Yuuri’s face to know that his expression had darkened. He already knew Yuuri wouldn’t take kindly to that sort of remark and that he’d be furious. The media was always spreading falsehoods. Victor was not a notorious playboy. He was very much the monogamous sort.

The woman looked over at them, cheeks a bright red as she waved. “We’re rooting for you, Katsuki Yuuri! Longtime fan, Mr. Nikiforov. Can I just say that you’re so much sexier in person! Hope to see you back next season!”

She fluttered her lashes seductively and blew him a kiss before flouncing off with her daughter, not at all aware of the damage she’d just wrought. The little girl was still wide-eyed as she was dragged away. It seemed like she hadn’t believed a word her mother had said. Smart girl. Her young curiosity made him smile, reminding him of how he once was as a child. All those long, long, long, long years ago...

With a deep sigh, he turned back to Yuuri, already flinching as he caught the hard set of Yuuri’s jaw and the burning rage behind his eyes. He failed to hide his amused smirk and earned himself an impressive lethal glare.

“Jealous?” he asked.

“You know damn well I am!” Yuuri scowled and hopped up onto his feet.

He turned his back to Victor and continued warming up, running back and forth. His shoulders were tense as he jogged and he was muttering to himself bitterly. Victor moved closer to listen, trying to decipher just what was being said.

“So, it’s not just news reporters, then,” Yuuri was grumbling to himself. “It’s the general public as well. Is it that hard for people to believe that Victor and I are in love? That Victor would want to be in a relationship with me? I need to remember that the outside world only gets to see his good looks and it is I who gets to see the true beauty of his heart. It’s his love shining through that has helped me improve the most. We have something special and amazing and if people can’t see our love then I’ll just have to make them feel it by winning the gold medal!”

“Awwwwwww!!” Victor gushed. Yuuri was seriously the cutest. He just had to hop on top of him and squeeze and hug him tight. “What an adorable internal monologue. Tell me, is this how you always talk in your head?”

“Get. Off. Me!” Yuuri picked himself up from the floor and brushed himself off.  

Victor frowned, pressing a lip to his finger as he tried to figure out how to get back into Yuuri’s good graces. No one would think from just looking at him that Yuuri was such a high-maintenance partner. A part of him loved that Yuuri was a huge drama queen, quick to get jealous over Victor and feel the need to stake his claim. But another part of him couldn’t stand the thought of Yuuri being upset or insecure.

The petulant glower on Yuuri’s face didn’t look like it would be going away anytime soon, which wasn’t ideal in this specific circumstance. The judges definitely wouldn’t find it as cute as Victor did. He was preparing to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness when Yuuri grabbed him by his very expensive tie and yanked him down to his level.

For a moment, Victor thought Yuuri had only pulled him this close so he could clobber him, but like always, Yuuri took the unexpected route. Which naturally made it impossible for Victor to predict what he was thinking as he began sucking a large bruise on the side of Victor’s neck.

Just as abruptly as Yuuri had grabbed him and reeled him in, he curtly let him go. His face flushed as he avoided Victor’s eyes and stammered, “T—There. That way no one else will be throwing themselves at you. They’ll know you’re mine.”

Victor couldn’t help being extremely delighted by this display and his brain quickly devised a plan. “Hmm, I really don’t think just one will do…You should put one over here too.”

Feigning innocence, he pointed at another spot on his neck, arching so Yuuri could mark there.

“How about here! And here! Oh, there’s good too! Also, here! Da, there too

“Jesus Christ, Victor!” A voice cried. A voice whose owner was just so happened to be flamboyantly Swiss.

“What’s happened to your neck?! Don’t tell me this is some kind of career-ending injury,” Chris gasped. “I don’t think I can make it through another competition season without you.”

“They’re love bites!” Victor presented proudly, showing off the fresh marks littered across his skin. “From my Yuuri.”

He noticed Yuuri trying to slink away and flee the scene of the crime. But before he could go far, Victor locked an arm around his waist and hauled him back to his side. That way Yuuri would have to own up to his work. What he’d done to Victor’s neck was nothing short of a masterpiece. He’d truly left his signature.

Victor turned back to Chris, elaborating, “See, my Yuuri’s very upset that the media isn’t taking our romance seriously.”

“Ah, yes! I’m afraid they’ve done the same thing with my bisexual Bernese Mountain dog, Hans,” Chris commiserated, pulling out his phone and showing them an article on his pooch written by The Inquisitor. “Completely erased his sexuality to fit into some toxic heteronormative box. I showed him a picture of Maccachin and he was absolutely smitten! We should get them together and see if they hit it off. That way, we can be…”

“IN-LAWS!!” Victor shrieked at the same time Chris did.

They squealed excitedly, jumping up and down as they chattered away about wedding plans. They discussed where Hans and Maccachin would vacation on their honeymoon. Victor had heard Fiji was lovely this time of year and Maccachin, the groom-to-be just adored laying out on the beach. He was a real beach bum with expensive tastes and only enjoyed the finest cuisines. He was a lot like his owner in that way.

In the midst of his conversation with Chris, Victor noticed Yuuri from the corner of his eye, slumping and staring down at the floor.

“Oh, Yuuri, don’t think too much into the media thing,” Chris said, reaching out and pinching Yuuri’s left butt cheek. A trick that was very effective in removing that sad, dejected expression from Yuuri’s face, replacing it with scandalized one. “News reporters can be so oblivious sometimes. Only seeing what they want to see. Every skater here knows how in love the two of you are. You’ve got tons of teenage girls on social media ‘shipping’ you. They’ve named you…Victuuri!”

“Victuuri? Eh!! Why does Victor’s name get to go first?!”

“Because I’m the one that fell in love first!”

“Please, not that again,” Yuuri sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Don’t start that argument here before I have to skate. I already told you, I’m sorry I didn’t remember that night!”

“You completely wounded my pride!” Victor harrumphed. “I can’t believe you don’t remember our dancing!”

Chris snickered then declared, “Maybe it’s good that the media doesn’t take you guys seriously. The world already hates you for hogging Victor as your coach. Men and women everywhere will hate you even more if they find out you’ve stolen his heart as well. You’re a very selfish man, Katsuki Yuuri. Adieu!”

With one last ‘good luck’ pinch to Yuuri’s exquisite rump, Chris sauntered off, rejoining his coach and the rest of his entourage. Which left Victor and Yuuri to return to stringently readying Yuuri to take the ice. Sure, it might seem like they were going a little overboard but they were both aware of how important it was for Yuuri to nail every jump in his routine and execute his presentation perfectly.

On the outside, Victor exuded nothing but positive energy and optimism, but on the inside, he was a nervous wreck. He worried that Yakov might be right. That he wouldn’t be able to pull off this massive victory his first time as a coach. It would kill him if, for some unfortunate reason, they missed the podium. Victor didn’t want to lose the opportunity to pair skate with Yuuri at his gala exhibition. And poor Yuuri; what would become of his spirit if he failed? Obviously, Victor wasn’t going to let that happen, but what if it did. He refused to let Yuuri take any of the blame. He’d take full responsibility as his coach.

Victor watched Yuuri silently lacing up his skates, not liking how solemn and morose he was so close to his free skate. It was often difficult for Victor to get into Yuuri’s head and figure out what was going on with him. Which was a telling sign that he was a terrible coach. After all, this was it! Potentially Yuuri’s last performance before he retired from figure-skating. Though, if Victor had his way, Yuuri would never retire. Still, it made sense that Yuuri would be in such a mood being on the brink of making history.

“Have I really stolen your heart?”

Victor’s head snapped up sharply. “…What does that mean?”

One day in the future, Victor hoped Yuuri would stop asking him such provoking questions. Even though they both spoke fluent English—their best common language—Victor planned on purchasing Rosetta Stone. That way he could learn Japanese and finally understand Yuuri. It was evident that he wasn’t speaking English well enough. Not with the way Yuuri was constantly doubting his love.

Yuuri’s voice was barely a whisper as he fiddled with his thumbs, not looking up. “I mean, will I get to keep it forever?”

“Of course.”

Victor wasn’t remotely surprised when Yuuri huffed and rolled his eyes. “How do you know?”

Victor shrugged. “I just do.”

“But how?!”

Exasperated, Victor placed a hand on his hip. “What’s gotten into you? Why the sudden mood swing? Is it the news outlets? Because them not acknowledging that we’re together doesn’t mean anything. Listen to me and not them! I refuse to live without you. I won’t stand for it.”

“But what if after I retire, I let myself go and gain a ton of weight? Or what if we lose our romantic spark and you get bored of me? There’s nothing exciting to keep you here. What if in a couple of years, you wake up and realize this was a huge mistake? I’m a terrible nag and at the same time a giant hypocrite. I’m messy and horrible at cleaning up after myself. What if all we do is fight and bicker and you start to hate me? I majorly lack self-confidence. What if that starts to annoy you too? Me always doubting myself can be a hassle. Hell, I’m doubting myself right now!”

Victor opened and closed his mouth a few times, gaping like a fish. Yuuri had some nerve trying to convince him to stop loving him. He stepped forward and leaned his forehead against Yuuri’s, cupping his cheek. “I think you already know nothing you come up with will change how I feel about you. Am I right?”

“But—” Yuuri protested.

“Nothing,” Victor repeated firmly.

Yuuri peered into his eyes for a moment longer, eventually giving up and sagging his shoulders. “I believe you.”

Yuuri inched closer, his long lashes fluttering closed as he went to give Victor a kiss. But before their lips could meet, Victor stopped and asked, “What about me?”

“Hmm?” Yuuri blinked multiple times when he opened his eyes.

“Will you always love me?”

“Of course!” Yuuri snorted, waving it off as an unserious question then tried to kiss Victor again.

Victor evaded his lips. “Even when all my hair turns gray?”

“Er…um…” Yuuri squirmed uncomfortably, distress in his eyes as he fumbled for the right words. “How— How do I say this? All your hair is already…um…gray...er…silver…?”

“What?!?” Victor cried, his mouth falling open as he reached up and tentatively touched his hair like he was noticing this for the first time. He kept the act up for a couple of seconds before throwing his head back and laughed at how scared Yuuri looked, then dodged a punch to the arm when Yuuri realized he was being insincere.

“I’m just kidding,” Victor snickered, “And my hair is platinum, not gray. But on the subject of getting older, my mother’s side is prone to male pattern baldness. What if the thin spot on the top of my head gets bigger and all my hair falls out? Or what if I don’t age as well as I’m expected to and forget to use under eye cream at night and develop crow’s feet? What if I have to get Botox, or worse, a full facial reconstruction! Will you love me with a new face? What about my fashion sense? What if I lose that too and start walking around in mix-matched patterns and socks with sandals? Will you still love me if I walked around in socks and sandals? What if, Yuuri!!”

“Wow,” Yuuri commented as Victor panted, needing a minute to catch his breath after his rant. “All your concerns are very superficial.”

“Comfort me, Yuuri!” Victor wailed and threw himself into Yuuri’s arms, sighing contently as they immediately wrapped him up securely. Victor buried his face into the side of Yuuri’s neck, feeling at home with the first inhale of Yuuri’s fruity cologne. Never had he felt so safe from the dangers that were inevitable aging.

Yuuri chuckled, pressing a light kiss to Victor’s temple and whispered, “You’ve changed my whole life, Victor. Of course, I’ll be here till the end with you.”

“D’awwwwwww!”

A chorus of cooing echoed from all around them. Victor and Yuuri both jumped at the racket and discovered that not only was everybody leering at them, they were also shamelessly eavesdropping.

“Our wedding vows are going to be so much better than theirs, right babe?” JJ boasted, slinging an arm over his fiancé’s shoulder.

With the exception of JJ and an absent Yurio, the rest of the crowd was in tears. In fact, if Victor hadn’t known any better, he would���ve thought this was a funeral. A box of tissues was being passed around as people sobbed and blubbered, some even crying their mascara off. Most notably amongst the mourners was Otabek Altin. He was the last person Victor would’ve expected to be moved by such an overt demonstration of eternal love. Mainly, because he was Yurio’s new friend and to apply for the job, one must already have their cold dead heart locked in a steel volt in the Himalayas and be committed to hating everything.

Naturally, JJ saw this as an opportunity to plug his new project. “The ghostwriter who wrote my book, Ice Jewel—which comes out January 20th, so stop by your nearest Chapters to pick up a copy or pre-order online—will come up with something a lot less cliché and contrived. Right babe?”

“Shh!!” His fiancé slapped a hand over his mouth, “That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever witnessed. I want to die!”

Victor quickly stepped back from Yuuri and tried to laugh the moment off but was sweating too profusely to be convincing. Yuuri’s face was getting redder by the second and looked like it was about to combust. This was not how they wanted their competitors to see them. They were supposed to be exhibiting that they were at the top of their game, ready to take the world by storm and crush everything in sight. Or at least that’s what Yakov had always taught him to do.

“It’s almost time for you to skate, little piggy. So, get back to work,” Victor decreed. “This is a direct order from your coach. Not your handsome doting lover who spoils you rotten. I won’t have any slackers!”

Who was he kidding? He never acted like a real coach before, so why start now?

Yuuri grimaced. “It’s so embarrassing when you say that word.”

“What word?” Victor asked then scoffed, “Lover? How else would you like me to describe it? No wonder the media doesn’t think we’re together. This world is way too sexually repressed!”

"Yeah, yeah,” Yuuri said, no longer paying him any mind. “Now, just where did you throw my phone?”

So maybe it was a little mean of Victor to let Yuuri search for his phone all on his own knowing that Yuuri wasn’t wearing his glasses. But it was just so funny watching Yuuri bumbling around, eyes scrunched up as they uselessly inspected the floor. Eventually, Yuuri located the phone after two failed attempts, picking up a discarded coke can and an empty water bottle at first. It was impressive that even though the phone had traveled long and far there wasn’t a single ounce of damage, thanks to the case. Victor should totally see if he could get Yuuri an Otterbox sponsorship. After all, sex sells and he knew Yuuri would be able to sell a ton of phone cases with an evocative television ad.

A wild idea suddenly sparked in his mind. One he knew Yuuri definitely wasn’t going to like. Still, this idea had Victor pulling out his own phone and opening his camera app. He snapped a picture with a flash just as Yuuri was bending down to pick something up.

“Eh?! Victor” Yuuri swiveled around and rushed back over to him. “W-What are you doing?!”

“Posting a picture of your juicy bottom on my Instagram.”

“Why?!”

“Because I’d like the world to see how nice and juicy it is.”

“Victor!” Yuuri whined and made a grab for the phone.

“Yuuuuuri!” Victor sang back and kept it out of reach. “Look, I’ve written a risqué caption full of Eros! Maybe the media will see this picture and a news story will break about our insatiable lust for one another?”

“Give it to me right now!” Yuuri grounded out through his teeth and held out his hand.

Thinking it wasn’t worth the spat, Victor handed it over. He expected Yuuri to take the phone and delete the picture immediately, but instead, Yuuri’s fingers began tapping quickly on the screen as his face burned up.

He thrusted the phone back into Victor’s hand and averted his eyes. Victor glanced at it and saw that not only had Yuuri posted the picture, he’d written an even sexier caption that almost blew Victor off his feet and made his nose bleed.

“It’s such a shame that no one would believe me if I told them how you lord over me in bed.” Victor shook his head in amazement. “Bossy, confident, sex torturer, Katsuki Yuuri? Not with how innocent you act in public. No one will believe how mean to me you really are.”

A glint flashed in Yuuri’s eyes as his gaze trailed him up and down. “Oh, you have it so wrong. I think I’m very, very nice to you in bed. Especially when I—”

Once again, it felt like the whole world was listening in, and sure enough, when they looked up they saw everyone staring like they were tuning into a television show. They were rather shameless about it too. Didn’t even have the decency to look remorseful or pretend like they hadn’t been invading people’s very private moments.

It was lucky that they’d caught themselves before they got any more explicit. With Yurio present in the audience, things had to be kept PG-13. He was looking between them now with his big, innocent blue eyes, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“When you what?” he asked Yuuri who was turning very, very red. “Eat pork cutlet bowls?”

Everyone around them who knew better nodded in affirmative, but JJ, of course, had never really been too bright. “I think he meant—”

Thankfully, his fiancée was there to jab an elbow into his gut and cut him off before he could go into detail. Realizing his mistake, he nodded his head along with everyone else and that seemed to satisfy Yurio who just shrugged and walked away with Otabek.

When he was gone, Yuuri groaned and thumped his head against Victor’s chest, his face still hot with shame. “That was unbelievably embarrassing,” he said. “Let’s focus on the competition now and the celebration later. And let’s stop giving these vultures something to eavesdrop on.”

“Da,” Victor chuckled as Yuuri glared at all in their vicinity.

It was time anyway for Yuuri’s skate. They were as prepared as they could be and now was Yuuri’s chance to show his stuff. He pressed a kiss to Yuuri’s cheek and lead him towards the rink. Yuuri’s grip on his hand was like a vice. He was obviously nervous. Victor knew by now that nothing he said could make Yuuri lose those nerves, but he hoped Yuuri would be strong and wouldn’t let them overtake him.

“Even if I don’t win—” Yuuri started, but Victor wasn’t going to let him go any farther with that statement.

“You will win.”

“No, just let me finish.” Yuuri laughed, shaking his head. “Even if I don’t win, thank you for always taking care of me.”

Victor melted into a smile and opened his arms to wrap Yuuri up in a tight hug. He held on for as many squeezes as he could before Yuuri was asked to take the ice then clasped his hand with Yuuri’s and kissed his ring, wishing him luck.

“Well, go on. Show them how much I love you,” Victor said and Yuuri nodded with determination.

He knew something amazing was going to happen today. He just knew. Whether it be Yuuri winning the gold or breaking a world record or even… saying yes to spending the rest of his life with Victor, it was going to be a historical day.

Victor fiddled with the secret velvet box hidden deep within his pocket. His heart thundered in his chest as the music began to play; the happiness and pride overwhelming as he watched Yuuri wield his magic over the crowd.

❄

Morooka: Welcome back, everyone. We just witnessed a beautiful performance by Katsuki Yuuri. One that is bound to make him a top contender in today’s competition and displayed an excellent comeback after his loss last season.

Stéphane: Yes, it was simply magnifique! A perfect performance that shows the true power between this first-time coach and skater duo.

Morooka: Let’s flash over to the kiss and cry to see their scores.

Stéphane: Katsuki Yuuri looks nervous. I don’t know why. No one can doubt that that performance will score high.

Morooka: And he’s broken the world record! In case you’re just tuning in, Katsuki Yuuri has just scored a 221.58 today with his free program. The audience is just going wild.

Stéphane: And what’s this! Victor Nikiforov just got down on one knee and presented Katsuki Yuuri with a ring. What a wonderful congratulations gift from a coach to his skater.

Morooka: I think that’s why their dynamic works so well, Stéphane. Victor is such a caring and rewarding coach.

Stéphane: Let’s see if we can hear what’s going on down there. Ha! It sounds like funny guy Victor there just asked Katsuki Yuuri to marry him and Katsuki Yuuri said yes. There were rumors that Yuuri might be retiring but maybe after this symbol of sheer commitment Victor has displayed today, he might reconsider coming back for another season.

Morooka: As you know, these two have exchanged partnership rings in the past. They have a very close professional relationship. You can tell by how they’re kissing now on the lips.

Stéphane: Yes, such a friendly embrace! I see Victor’s getting a little cheeky there slipping in some tongue.

Morooka: We’ve got some reactions here from twitter. One user says ‘They’re gay, you dumbasses.’ Another says, ‘I can’t wait for Victor and Yuuri’s wedding. You can tell that they’re super in love with each other.’ What do you make of that Stéphane?

Stéphane: Impossible! I see no signs of romance here! Look at how they’re rolling on the floor kissing now. It’s nothing but a coach and skater being excited about a fantastic score.

Morooka: I agree with you, of course, Stéphane. Victor’s done such a great job coaching for the first time. These twitter fans must be seeing something that isn’t there.

Stéphane: Absolument! There’s no way notorious playboy Victor Nikiforov would ever be taken off the market.”

Morooka: You’re right, of course. No way indeed.

#victuuri #victuuri fic #yoi fanfic #viktor nikiforov #yoi #yuuri katsuki #mine: yoi fic #humor fluff

[phantombones]

RILEY HAYES-GOLDSTEIN really is the spitting image of MARGARET QUALLEY, right? For someone only EIGHTEEN ( VIRGO ) years old, RILEY has been forced to endure so much. Yeah, that HALFBLOOD has been scraping by at the sanctuary since MARCH, 2028, working as a SUPPLY RUNNER in the DIVISION OF FORAGE. SHE identifies as CIS-FEMALE and is known to be SARDONIC and PESSIMISTIC but also WITTY and MORALLY RESPONSIBLE. Best of luck surviving through this.

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Daria ( Daria ), Seth Cohen ( The OC ), Veronica Sawyer ( Heathers ), Ron Swanson ( Parks & Rec ), Rory Gilmore ( Gilmore Girls ), Pam Beasley ( The Office )

PINTREST: [ x ]

TRIGGERS: parental abandonment, mentions of drugs and alcohol.

LIKES & INTERESTS: Cult Classics - Movies ( Heathers, Dead Poets Society, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Cruel Intentions, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous ), Blue raspberry Slushies, Donuts, Judaism, Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Smiths, the color blue, writing poetry, e. e. cummings, art museums, greek mythology, rmemes, Rolling joints on her favorite books, biblical mythology, astronomy, astrology ( she finds it very entertaining in a mocking way and would never admit there’s a small part of her that enjoys it ), Star Wars, black cats, black cats named Boggart, black nail polish, tattoos, carnivals, comic books, ferris wheels, puns, the sea, jellyfish, NPR every morning, going to the beach at twilight, 4 am drives, 5am runs, spliff.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Observant, Cooperative, Strategic, Witty, Intelligent, Resilient, Responsible.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reserved, Pessimistic, Sardonic, Secretive, Curious ( it will get her into trouble ), Awkward, Suspicious.

When you meet Riley Hayes, a picturesque childhood in a picturesque suburbia is not what you would expect and yet it was exactly what she had. Born on the cusp of summer and fall, Rachel and Christopher were over the moon to have their daughter born on August 28, 2010. Finally, a child to complete the perfect family unit. Maybe they had hoped for a boy despite what science said ( hence the name Riley & a full name for a boy they had prepared ) but, they had a daughter and for the first ten years of her life they pampered her greatly. Trips to the coast every summer to visit his side of the family where Riley was praised for being such a pretty, good girl, and what seemed like infinite love from her father was doled out as long as she was what he wanted her to be. The younger girl was cooperative, it was in her nature it seemed, because she loved seeing her parents happy with each other. As long as Riley stayed within the lines, stayed within Christopher’s lines at least, everything would be well. Even when Riley started to develop a few habits and interests that were off the wall, he brushed them aside as childhood obsessions. Never could he accept his family for what they were which is exactly why he left.

The ugly truth was, Riley was an accident and the picture painted had been a lie – not that Riley knew until then. While she knew they had gotten married young she’d never known how much exactly her mother had given up to be with her father. Rachel Hayes had left her family, forsaken her religion ( as Christopher was a very religious Christian man ), the semi famous Goldstein Wizarding name, and moved down south into this suburbia all with the promise of a family. The biggest thing? Magic. When Christopher left a year before Riley entered Hogwarts school, Riley was forced to grow up and pick up the pieces of a broken lost woman who simply couldn’t find herself in the rubble that was the aftermath of her father leaving. But finding out she was an accident was the least of her worries. No matter how much poetry she wrote trying to figure out her mind, oftentimes thinking she was losing it, something within her was different, something within her felt different.

It took a few months to coax the why from her mother, and truly she was her caretaker. It wasn’t until her 10th birthday when she got the letter from Ilvermony that she realized what exactly was off. When she confronted her mother – her mother just poured everything out to her. Who Riley was, who her family was, what she was doing with her life before she met Christopher. At first, Riley couldn’t believe it – – she’d grown up hiding comics under her bed, hiding anything about the supernatural away. Even if her whole life she had felt a weird pull to these people who didn’t belong in her comics, these freaks, she never in her wildest dreams thought she’d have something in common with them. It all made sense though, and finally the pieces of her life started to come together. Riley knew what she had to do, so at the age of 10, she went with her mother to Wizarding NYC to try to find out more. To try to find the family her mother left behind.

After that, everything fell into place – her family was beyond accepting, even if they gave her shit, more than she’d ever known from her dad’s family and her mom started to get better as she become more true to herself. The family reconciled, helping Riley and Rachel move into a flat in NYC, in Chinatown. Rachel got a job at the ministry as an assistant and with the help of some family members and Riley started to prepare for school Wizarding School. She’d never been more happy in her life. New York City was her home, more than her podunk shitty town ever had, and she felt a freedom that made her wander the city, she felt a freedom to finally be herself. The only issue then? Riley wanted to go to a school far away from everything, because even if New York was her home, she needed to a break from being in the states. A break from all these people who knew who her family was & really, a place that was her own to find her own in the world. Easily, she picked Hogwarts and was delighted when they accepted her no matter how far she was. Hufflepuff was the perfect house for her, even if she wasn’t the most conventional or stereotypical kind of one.

For years, she pushed away a lot of the pain she felt – she figured her pain was her own, it was selfish of her to dwell on it or even think about it when she had this new fantastic life. Only in her poetry would she divulge her feelings, only her poetry knew that she felt inexplicably lost in the world the more she saw it. Around her 14th birthday, she met two boys in school who were a bit older than her but the twins ended up being her half-brothers -- as they found they shared a father. A scumbag father who’d also been horrible to them. It was then that Riley wanted to distance herself from her father even more, fiercely signing and writing her last name as Hayes-Goldstein or just Goldstein when she could get away with it.

The thing was, the reminder of her father, the reminder that he was out there ruining more people’s lives, that he was out there spawning more children really intensely messed with Riley’s head. Why wasn’t she good enough for him to stay? Why couldn’t they have been enough? It was stupid, but the thoughts started to consume her and the lost feeling just got bigger. Picking up vices like smoking, smoking pot, drinking beer like she was her own father after a long day of work, anything to escape the feeling that she didn’t really have a place in this world. Not one she could see. What was she even going to do with her life after school? What did she have to offer the world? A loneliness she could not shake slept with her at night like any blanket did, every day felt like she was smothered. Every day there was a new realization that she didn’t know what the hell she wanted to do with her life, and that she didn’t really have a place in the world. When the climate in the Wizarding World of England became a developing war zone, Riley wanted nothing to do with it but because of who she was – because of what her religion reminded of her – she couldn’t just stand idly by. Riley knew that even if she was Neutral, she would fight with her friends if need be, but nothing prepared for a zombie outbreak.

She had stayed in the UK for the family she’d now made there, the dude squad, her cousins, her brothers, her best friend Isa Potter was there as well. She’d just finished transitioning moving into their new place when the news hit and things spiraled from there, staying by Isa’s side the whole way. Now, she’s been at the castle and misses her old life, more so the comforts of it. Netflix. Memes. Accommodations and not having to worry about the end of the world truly being torn apart - and end near. Riley is beyond fucked up and freaked out by the idea of zombies, finding comfort in her religion but questioning it even further -- how could G-d allow this? She did what she could for the effort at Hogwarts, angry, scared, and simply trying to make sure the people she loves survives as well as herself.

ADDITIONAL INFO:

I once called her a Memelord Shitstain. I stand by that.

Cousin to Nathan Hayes! Also bigger roaster of Nathan Hayes!!

If Lana Del Rey and Weird Al’ Yankovic did a duet, that would be Riley’s vibe. LOL.

Never learned how to properly swim really but often dreams of water and loves water a lot. WILL DEADASS run in water and jump in it but doesn’t go too deep even though she wants to.

Riley is very content with the friends she has, the dudesquad, isa, she’s surprised she even has that many and Loves them. But Riley is becoming more open to people and friends as its the end of the world and WHY NOT? 

Riley has a natural inclination towards legilimency, her first sign of magic was actually poking around someone’s mind in a grocery store and influencing them to eat a random frozen meal on accident but it’s not a developed skill in the slightest and truthfully Riley doesn’t EVER want to go into it. It’s really not developed it’s just like a fun fact. a tidbit!

that’s all she wrote!! I hope this is good and please like this if you’d like to plot!!

#intro ◈ ( riley hayes-goldstein. ) #inferi intro #u ever reread something and see it's such a mess #but ur just too tired #THIS IS IT!!! #//my only goals after two drs appt tomorrow is to write vic's intro and answer messages but by wednesday i should BE DOING SMTH

[sienna27]

TWD Spoilers - The King, The Widow, and Rick (8x06)

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First, whoever wrote this one, credit due that it did have some great lines.  That said, the theme of the whole episode seemed to be, “Everyone Does Stupid Shit And Almost Dies Because Of It,” which genuinely did detract from the overall ‘enjoyment’ shall we say.  Because everyone was acting like morons and if these people were really all that stupid, they wouldn’t have survived beyond day one of the turn.

Examples (getting all the negative stuff out up front):  Michonne and Rosita.  Both still limping around, completely unable to fight, “yesterday” decide “today” to just go off on their own to do some Savior Compound sightseeing.  In the process, nearly get themselves both killed, and nearly LIBERATE the Savior Compound(!), because neither of them were strong enough to take out the one woman who was driving off with the damn speaker truck to clear the place of the walkers.  

Which leads me to Daryl and Tara.

Yes, yay, they saved Rosita and Michonne’s bacon by taking out the Speaker Truck and the Savior woman driving it.  EXCEPT, them deciding to go rogue means that the people who are supposed to be keeping track of Rick and whether or not he gets out of the garbage heap alive . . . have just abandoned him.  Good job, guys.

Which leads me to RICK!

Dude, WTF?!  Why would you walk in there alone with NOBODY nearby to save your ass?!  These people have already turned sides on you.  I do agree that it is not unreasonable to think that they might not turn again, but as of right now, they are aligned with Negan.  And now you’ve been taken hostage, stripped naked and dumped into a transport crate to be shipped off to the Saviors.  Oops.  

Now let’s go to Carl.

Another callback to season 1 . . . Carl being an idiot 😑  I don’t care if the new guy seems okay, your dad said to leave it alone because you can’t trust new people right now.  But yeah, fuck that because again, you’re Carl so you just do whatever the fuck you want.  And oh look, you almost got eaten FOR NOTHING!!!  The whole thing was just so, so stupid and was more of something season two Carl would have done when he was like eleven.  It was eleven year old stupid.  

The Hilltop.

There are only three people I’d like to see dead by the end of the season.  Negan, Dwight (because it’s the only way to end that story line) and . . . Jesus.  I did mute every time he spoke because I’ve been done with the sanctimonious bullshit for three episodes now.  Please note, he gave away their emergency food supply to the people possibly about to be executed because they missed A meal!  Like it wasn’t Day Six of the Siege!  All of the events of these episodes are overlapping.  You took them hostage, and took them for a walk, and then gave away all of your people’s emergency food storage on THE SAME DAY!  I was so glad Maggie took him to task for that, and that she flat out told him that she wasn’t keeping those people alive because he wanted it (as in he was right) but just because it was the only pragmatic move in case they needed to do a hostage trade in the short term, but in the long term she was executing their asses.  THANK YOU, MAGGIE!  

We need SO much more Maggie, and NO MORE, Jesus, please and thank you.

The Kingdom.

So E is just a pathetic spineless bitch now?  Because that was what I got from his scene.  I understand he was pretty devastated by recent events, (rightly so) but he had some time to get his shit together and Carol very calmly explained to him how he needs to stand up and go help those people grieve because he DID make those decisions for them, and he needs to take responsibility now for his actions, and he’s like, yeah, no.  Not happening.  So I hope all those people who were thinking C and E would be a great couple (*eye roll*), get how they can fucking suck it.  Because if you think The Amazonian Warrior who has suffered from pretty much day one and still keeps on kicking ass and taking names, deserves to be saddled with a man who has so little personal character that he can’t even take responsibility for what he did, then you have no respect for Carol.  At all.   That’s just putting aside the fact that she already has a man, and it’s a huge fuck you to the Caryl relationship to be an A, B, C, D’er, but whatever.  And I don’t even blame E for the deaths, but I do blame him for how he’s responding to those deaths.  You made choices, and you got people killed.  It happens.  But if you take to your bed now like you have the damn vapors, then fuck you, you’re being a punk bitch.  We already have Eugene filling that role.  And no matter what else happens with him later, E’s already shown his true character here and he’s tainted because of it.  Sort of like last week with Negan and all of the pathetic penis commentary.  It seems deliberate that these characters are being knocked down off their pegs to make them less likable for whatever is coming next.  Not saying it’s bad writing, I’m saying it’s people being pushed to the wall and now showing their true colors.  The results have been pretty abysmal for both of them.

Now to the Positive stuff, because that was a lot of bitching :)

Good opening line from Rick:  “It’s scarier than I thought it would be.”  

For some reason I really love that they wrote letters to each other with the updates.   And that The Kingdom letter wasn’t to E.  it was to Carol, because her people know that Carol’s the one in charge :))

Poor Carol getting saddled with another kid.  Like she needs that shit.  

Jerry breaking my heart:.  “He told me that I didn’t need to do this anymore . . . this is what I do.”  Again, pointing out that E’s failure here as person, is doing a hell of a lot more damage beyond just the deaths.  Jerry doesn’t know who he is if he’s not this guy.  

Maggie cuddling baby Gracie.  💕  Though I do think it’s fair to wonder if Gracie’s mom might still be alive out there.  

Good line for the new guy, Sadiq:  “Killing them would free their souls.”  And it is an interesting idea.  That is one thing that hasn’t been touched on much is the ‘spirituality” of the undead.  Back on the farm Hershel et al thought they were just sick and could be cured, but that was just because they were in denial.  Since then walkers are just treated as monsters and that’s that.  It did add some needed depth to show someone who saw them differently.  And saw killing as many as he could to be a ‘righteous’ act, and not just a matter of “vengeful clearing” like Morgan does.  It was funny though because before Sadiq even said that, I was looking at that walker stuck to the post trying to get the bag he would never reach, and I was just picturing that as being someone’s eternity.  And how that would be a special kind of hell.  Then he freed him from that.  

I liked that Carol’s pep talk to E didn’t include the words “I need you,” because she doesn’t.  She doesn’t need him.  She needs for him to get his shit together to go deal with his people.  That’s what she needs.  

The one positive of Gregory is that he’s done with Jesus and is just going to call him Paul again.  The passive aggressiveness of it, pleases me :)

No Caryl this week.  Not even an inferred bit.  Though at least the mid-season finale is lined up for both of them to be at the Savior compound.   

Side point to that, I skipped Talking Dead even though it was MMB because it made little sense that she was there so it seemed like they were wasting her time.  It wasn’t her episode.  Airtime was pretty evenly split with everyone, but Christian or Danai still would have been more logical choices because it was their first episode back and hearing their take on things to date just made much more sense.  For some reason it just felt like Melissa was the only member of the main cast who agreed to go, if that makes sense, and it kind of annoyed me in an odd way.   And then they put her with someone brand new who we have no allegiance with at all, so I didn’t even feel the need to watch to see her interacting with a friend.  Meh.    

Anyway, overall the episode felt kind of bloated.  TWD has always been at its best with more focused scenes and constant whiplash trying to keep up with everyone at once, in all these locations, doesn’t allow for that to happen.  I’m just glad the next big fight is coming up so the crew will get culled down a bit more and we’ll be getting even closer to re-consolidating back to just one (maybe two) communities.  I hold out hope because if we think back, so often the A to B storylines totally shifted gears, so maybe we’ll luck out and the Negan stuff will start to wrap much earlier.  I just want to move on to what’s next 😔

#spoilers #sienna watches twd #the king the widow and rick #twd season 8

[brido]

The Great Struggle to the Bottom

The AON Center in Chicago is 83 floors and 1,136 feet high. And at the time I worked there, it was the second-tallest building in the city. From the 70th floor, where I worked, the views were just asinine. The cars on Michigan Avenue looked like ants. The people down on Randolph Street were specks of dust. I could look OUT at the endless lake and basically feel fine, but looking straight DOWN made me feel queasy and I never, ever got used to it.

We were up so high, in fact, that they let our chain-smoking secretaries and storeroom guys just light up on the 70th floor. They got grandfathered or grandmothered in to indoor smoking in some designated areas, which was far more time-efficient than making them take elevators all the way down, head outside and then back through security twenty five times a day. This was 15 years ago in Chicago, mind you, so good luck telling some middle-aged woman from like, Berwyn that she has to either give up her Virginia Slims or brave the frigid winter air just off the lake. 

The amazing thing was, sometimes I would see these ladies at the elevators as everyone was heading down for lunch. And occasionally one or two would stay behind and say they were gonna take the stairs. I remember just thinking, “Good for them.” Sometimes I’d even say it out loud and people would nod in agreement. It WAS good for them. And I never actually considered what that would entail or how impressive a feat that was for these women - most likely actual grandmothers, whose ages were impossible for a kid straight out of college to ascertain - to head down all those stairs. They looked 99% like Allison Janney in “I, Tonya” and zero percent like health nuts. But since nobody else reacted with shock and horror to them doing this, my brain never questioned that these frail, hacking, wheezing old women took the stairs all the way down to the lobby for their lunch. I’d never experienced it myself, so who was I to judge?     

Not long after I started my entry-level job there at the AON Center, I got promoted and sent to training on the 71st floor. Whereas the atmosphere on 70 was fun and lively and filled with the cubicles of a hundred other kids straight out of Big Ten schools just like me, the 71st floor felt like cruel and unusual punishment by comparison. They treated training like we were Navy Seals. Pages of memorization and testing. Rigidly enforced time management. Strictly suit and tie attire. Zero breaks. At one point I was admonished in front of my class for needing a haircut. For fucking phone sales. I had four trainers and hated three of them. I thought I was going to quit. They thought I was going to quit. So from time to time, I’d get called back down to 70 by one of the managers there to give me a ‘stick with it’ pep talk. And more often than not, I’d just sneak down there anyway to see my friends from that floor and to vent. I just hated it.  

When I got caught sneaking off in the elevator, I’d lie, feign embarrassment, and say I had to poop and preferred the bathrooms on 70. When that stopped working (since absolutely nobody preferred the bathrooms on 70), I figured out a stairwell I could use with my security badge and figured they’d be none the wiser. They quickly got ‘the wiser’. And each time, I’d be publicly scolded, I’d be punished and I’d make my own shitty situation even worse. That is, I guess, except for the last time I got caught.

On this particular day, probably in the winter of 2004, as I headed down the stairwell the door from 71 seemed to close behind me in slow motion. “Oh FUCK,” was all I could blurt out. In my haste to sneak away from training, I’d completely forgotten my security badge and was now trapped between the 70th and 71st floors of the building. I tried banging on the door to 71 to no avail. And then tried and failed again on 70. As I stood there for few beats in a dead panic, wearing the suit my mom bought me for my sister’s wedding, I remembered the chain-smoking Allison Janneys from the 70th floor and decided since I had no time to spare, I might as well do what they would do and walk all the way down to the lobby and head back up in the elevator. I was young. I didn’t look like I was about to die. So surely this had to be the best plan, as well as the fastest way to do it. In no time, I’d be back in training and in the clear. 

This is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had.  

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever walked down 71 industrial flights of stairs, but a few bad things start happening to you. First of all, your ‘going down the stairs’ leg muscles have had no real-world experience for this and they become completely useless within minutes. You’re mostly just jelly-legging it and by the end, your body has produced all new completely useless muscles just to provide you with a deeply-felt agony. It’ll be the only thing you feel below your waist. Your legs are garbage. You truly have no way of knowing this until you actually do something so stupid. 

The second bad thing that happens, is that you start to get dizzy. And like, dizzier than you can ever possibly imagine. Picture yourself going down four flights of stairs in a parking garage. You are on those stairs for such a short amount of time that you don’t even realize you’re basically just walking downhill in a circle. If you go down 71 FLIGHTS of stairs, it’s like a never-ending baseball-bat-on-the-forehead spin race. Except this time, your legs are also deteriorating at a rapid rate. So your ever-increasing stumbles send you careening off of brick walls and iron railings. The clangs of your shitty Kenneth Cole dress shoes echoing off 1000+ feet of metal and concrete is all you hear while your eyes completely glaze over and the most elemental, lizard part of your brain, which is all that’s left, keeps urging you to push on downward. And downward. And down.  

The final piece of advice I’d give you if you are to decide to take the plunge down 71 flights of stairs is to not wear the suit your mom bought you for your sister’s wedding. But in this particular instance, it probably ended up being my only saving grace. But I’ll get to all that in a second.

Eventually I made it all the way down to the lobby. And I’d never been so happy to see that lobby in my life. That lobby usually meant I was heading to work before 8 AM. Or back from lunch. Either way, I hated that lobby. But this time I could have kissed the floor like Jordan when he said goodbye to Chicago Stadium in ‘94. Except I felt a lot more like Jordan in the “Flu Game” during the ’97 Finals. Everything felt like it was moving and spinning. Like when you get off a treadmill and your body takes 30 seconds to decide you’re no longer on it, but multiplied by 71. My legs had broken all the way down into full ‘goofball’ mode. And I dipped and bobbed erratically around the lobby as my mind tried to aim my body at the elevators. 

I knew I was fucked. I’m not sure exactly how long this endeavor had taken. But I’m guessing it took a second per stair, 20 stairs to a floor… not factoring rest time, at least 24 minutes.  Possibly much, much longer. I don’t know. By the end of it, my brain was broken and time no longer existed. But now, as the elevator headed back up to where I started, I was preparing for the worst. And here’s where my suit came in handy.  

Suits, by large, are not ideal workout clothes. And so unbeknownst to me, in the haze of my Great Struggle to the Bottom, I’d also managed to drench myself in sweat from head to toe. I looked like a drunken Ted Kennedy emerging from the pond at Chappaquiddick, ready to tell his side of the story. AND My trainers were waiting for me, arms-crossed-negative and ready to do their worst. 

When they saw me, all sloshy-shoed with my knees buckling and my suit sweated all the way through, their faces changed. We all just looked at each other. Then one of them asked, “What the hell happened to YOU?” 

And I just came out with it. All of it. I told them the truth. 

Then we looked at each other some more. 

And they. Just. Started. Fucking. Dying. 

Like, I’m just standing there, wobbly, preparing to be shit-canned. And they are doubled over, slapping their legs and pointing at me. This lasted for a while, until one of them started picturing the logistics of everything I’d just done and goes, “Why didn’t you just use one of the emergency call boxes??? They’re every five floors. Why would you POSSIBLY think to go all the way down 71 flights of stairs???” 

And so I brought up the chain-smoking ladies. “I don’t know. I thought if they can do it, so can I.”  

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?!?!?”

“I heard them say they walk down for lunch. Right?”

“WHAT?!? DUDE! NO!!! WHAT??? MIKE! Their offices are on 68! They just smoke on 70! They only walk from 70 to 68!”  

And then, “Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you thought… (Deep breath) AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Deep howling breath) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

Now they’re on the ground. Two trainers. Slowly crumbling into a pile of mocking laughter. While I stood there half feeling like I’d just done the dumbest thing I’d ever done in my life. Half wondering if I might have just gotten away with a fireable offense. It’s a crazy feeling. Plus, you know, the way I actually FELT physically.  

Within minutes, everyone knew. Everyone. And I’m talking about 3 entire floors of people in the AON Center. “Did you hear about that kid in training?” “Yeah. Holy shit! What a fucking idiot!” I was all the rage in my office for the rest of the week. And they fucking LOVED me for it. I had zero problems with my trainers for the remainder of my time in training. Morale had never been higher. I eventually headed back down to 70, graduating from bootcamp with slaps on the back, almost like some sort of celebrated mascot for the worst human being any of them had ever experienced. Years later, this time in an office out by O’Hare, I found out they still told that story downtown in training. I had become this legendary example of what NOT to do. And I’d get a “That was YOU???,” reaction every time I fessed up to my crimes of stupidity. 

Within four years, I’d already be gone. Off to L.A. to try to make it in show business. I’ve had a little bit of success in my time here. My old company has since filed for bankruptcy and are essentially out of business, their fatal flaw probably having something to do with scoffing at upstart competitors, "Google Dot Com" and “The Internet” as frivolous bullshit that real people didn’t use. I’m guessing you haven’t picked up a Yellow Pages in years. My company sold those ads. But hey, I’m not bashing them. They were kind enough to employ me. And they forgave countless offenses committed by me, their worst employee, because they believed I had talent. My manager had an ongoing top 10 list for the worst excuses I ever gave for calling in sick. So I’m grateful for my time there. And if there’s one showbiz cliche I believe in, it’s that you should be kind to everyone on your way up, because you’re gonna see all the same people when you get stuck on the 71st-floor stairwell and stumble, sweating and dizzy because you misheard chain-smoking old ladies by the elevator, on your way down.   

[grims-classpects]

Session of an apathetic Bard of Time, a Sylph of Hope who is a mom friend, A Seer of Space who's withdrawn and shy, and a Knight of Mind who is cheery and optimistic all the time.

You have both cardinal aspects.

You have a preference for passive classes.

You have no preference for negative or positive classpects.

You have no repeated classes or aspects.

Looks good, although possibly lacking the firepower to finish the final boss of the session! Gotta look out for the bard of time too because they can wreak havoc :V someone will have to keep them under control. Also I’m sorry this ask took… literal months to answer, definitely been in my inbox the longest.

Undercut involves a personality analysis of each player. None of this is really proof read so hopefully most of the sentences make sense.

Bard of time 

This guy is badddd news for the session. Bards of time are even worse than princes, who at least are aware of their aspect and will eventually (hopefully) use it for good. This guy is apathetic, and probably kind of stubborn too. Doesn’t really believe or want to believe in the idea of predetermined fate and just goes with the flow, comfortable in his own skin and quite laid-back doing his own thing without people disturbing him. He doesn’t really… care? For other people, he won’t take action for other people.

Good luck relying on this guy if you want an attempt 2 with the session; this guy makes a very bad hero of time. It’s more likely that escapees from a dead timeline might pour into the main one than for the bard to basically help the session at all. Or maybe he will because reality tries to choose the most successful timeline and that just so happens to be the one timeline out of a million other dead ones where the bard did nothing.  Something will have to shock him into using his powers, and then whether he uses his time destroying powers in battle or to combat another problem that arrived, he better be using them beneficially or else it’s another dead timeline where he incompetently screwed up.

Sylph of hope

Aka, the therapist. This person is great for the team and if anyone’s going to get through to the bard, it’ll be this gal. She’s good- almost too good- at fixing people up and knowing what to do to make them stop being sad. Yet she’s also down to earth, something that hope heroes often struggle with, knowing to take care of others both on a physical and emotional level. Make sure you drink water and all that.

I think the fun part is trying to figure out why she’s a sylph of hope? I, Of course, don’t know if you are basing these of real people or they’re just characters, but the mum friend might be overbearing at times trying to make sure everyone is Super! Happy! All the time, and you’ve gotta wonder why. Maybe she’s overcompensating for something, maybe being caring is a quality that she’s been raised with.

Overall? Good for the team, but almost not necessary. Depends what happens in the session. As long as the group doesn’t start out with many qualms relationship wise, she won’t be needed that much. Sylphs often don’t have any mind-blowing powers when it comes to combat, either, so when it comes down to the final battle she’ll likely be on the support lines giving her pals a supportive boost of morale.

Seer of space

Lil cutie. The seer of space thinks a lot and is very in tune with herself and the rest of the land. She likely enjoys collecting her frogs alone and feels very humble about the whole activity. She’s just a humble person. Doesn’t want to bother people, even if she’s having trouble. Maybe if she looks hard enough, she’ll find the answer. She possible finds the sylph of hope’s constant check-ups either secretly annoying or secretly a relief, but on the outside, she just smiles through it anyway. She should also have no trouble collecting frogs because she’ll be able to ecto slime and by the time she’s going around collecting the frogs someone will have probably had to come in and give her a hand. Maybe the Knight of mind.

The seer could act as a good “spy” on the dark kingdom if she was up to it, but although I say “spy” I really mean that one of her god tier abilities could include being able to see over the whole session. Maybe it’s dipping into time territory, but the seer may be able to look into Derse and find out when they’re planning an attack. Other than that, not a very useful player when it comes to combat.

Knight of mind

I’m not an optimist, I’m a realist.

The knight of mind is a strategist who has a good grasp on his abilities even prior to the game. He doesn’t act like it though and doesn’t feel very much like he’s naturally inclined to be impartial and logical despite his aspect. He tries to be perfect and make sure every decision is the “best” one- one that he can prove is the best by having lots of evidence and justifications. I guess what’s different about your knight of mind is that he’s also willing to accept that he can’t always have it perfect, and when something goes wrong he can look on the bright side of the situation and learn from his mistakes.

Other than the “strategist”, I can’t think of what else he could offer to the session; he’s just a kind of cool dude who would probably be able to complete his land quest and ascend to god tier quite easily. He might be able to talk to the bard and argue some sense into him with good logic debates, but I think that the bard is probably too stubborn to be convinced into helping.

Overall:

Overall, this isn’t a particularly bad set of heroes, but they aren’t very good ones either- without the help of the bard’s time powers, they probably are going to struggle a lot overcoming Derse’s monarchs, because none of them have very combat specific abilities. I’m sure they’d be able to think of something if they (or you) were creative enough: maybe the sylph could unite all the consorts and some of the carapaces into an army. But it’s still very tight.

#session analysis #bard of time #sylph of hope #seer of space #knight of mind #session ask #classpect

[littlemissazure]

34, 39, 60?

34: Someone I always think about?

I have this friend that I’ve known and cherished for years - I met him when I was in the 1st or 2nd grade through my older sister (he was in her class and she brought him over our house one day and the rest is history), and we’ve made a lot of good memories together; he was there for birthdays, holidays, for hanging out and having fun, he’s like family to me.

But last year, he changed a lot; in retrospect, I didn’t voice my concerns about his lifestyle even though I suspected that there was something eating at him inside for years; and something you need to know about him is that he’s always been a charismatic person; everyone and their mothers know him around the neighborhood, one way or another. Give him a chance and he grows on you, sorta like a fungus, haha.

But the image I’ve always had about him started to crumble: he went back to hanging out with the wrong crowd and started to peddle drugs as well as doing them and he started to treat people around him like shit; including my family, which was unfair because we’ve always been good to him but eventually, everyone in my family stopped interacting with him, and because he had it out for my oldest sister (she and he do not get along well and it didn’t take long for them to start fighting again after they were “cool again”.), I stopped talking to him as well so I could not be involved with their bullshit (my sister has a disposition to get herself in trouble with people around here QUITE OFTEN) and I made the choice to stop talking to him but about four months later, I came to his house and apologized for breaking contact without saying a word (I’m still shitty with keeping contact but this situation was a little different than usual) and we made up and I started to stop by at his house to hang out with him from time to time, and of course his friends were over there too, I was relatively friendly with them so it wasn’t that bad.

One day, I went over to his house with a cup of tea for him after he was forced to leave because he wasn’t allowed to be around my house and I hung out with him for a bit and as he was walking me home, se were talking about life and what we wanted to do and he ended up telling me a personal secret of his and I ended up telling him a personal secret of mine, which by comparison, it was worse than his. I did it because I thought if he’d understood a part of who I am, we’d be able to grow closer. Afterwards, I told him not to tell anyone about it because if he did, it’d cause me a lot of turmoil, putting me in a situation where I’d live in shame which was a nightmare that I’d never wanted to be in.

It took under a week to realize that I had made a mistake in judgement and he ended up telling everyone about my secret. I had to hear it from my own sister that he did it. I never expected it to be him of all people.

And on December 10th, he finally contacted me but I let him have it, I hurled paragraphs of texts of how much he hurt me and how could he do this to me and he’s a fucking asshole, etc. I don’t know what was going through his mind when he decided to tell but he couldn’t take it back now. At that time, I was remembering all of the things that people said about him, how’s he changed for the worst so this made me come to telling him that until he grows out of this state of him being an emotionally immature asshole to not bother talking to me anymore until then. The last thing I remember telling him was that I never wanted it to come to this but I’ll always love him and I’ll wait around for him to get better, because he’ll always have a home with me and I with him. “Goodbye and good luck.” I imagined that in his mind, after reading something like that, that he wouldn’t be able to change my mind so he sent a text which contents said basically “I don’t give a shit about all that shit you sent, yeah whatever, goodbye.” That was the last time I talked to him.

Months later, the people I used to be friends with turned out to be assholes (SURPRISE!) who started spreading rumors about me being this thirsty bitch who was trying to fuck him because someone there seen him and I holding hands and helping me walk myself home after drinking at his place. That was several months ago and if they knew anything about me and him, is that we’ve held hands on more than one occasion over the years. Ooh, how fucking scandalous! I did it because I like platonic affection, and he didn’t seem to mind me giving him it, in fact, I’d say he enjoyed it because it brought him a more emotional stability that the rest of his stoner friends could ever give him. He’s actually rather nice to hold when he’s not being an asshole. And to be clear, I do not harbor romantic or sexual feelings for him - although he may be good-looking, none of that matters when he has his head that fucking far up his ass - and he’s explicitly expressed that he isn’t interested in me like that either so it’s out of the question.

So I didn’t know how to cope with the guilt and the loss of my friend so the very next day (on a Sunday during Advent), I went to church for the first time in years, on my own volition. I looked online for churches that matched my fundamental beliefs and I ended up finding this lovely Episcopalian church that’s a 30 minute walk from my house. I’ve been going there for weeks and I enjoy it a lot despite not being devout; see, I’ve never been that committed to devoting myself into faith-driven worship, since years at Catholic school sorta negatively warped my perception on religion and my experience gained throughout the years makes it difficult for me to be convinced that there’s only one source of higher power up there. But going there and soaking in the positive atmosphere, the genuinely loving people, brings me to the closest thing of a religious experience that I’ll ever get. If they say that they’re that way because of God’s love in them, then shit, I’ll give thanks for that.

It’s been over three months now since I haven’t talked to him, it hurts to the point where I feel like I’m grieving over a death. In a way, it has, but this stupid, selfish, delusional part of me still has hope that he’ll find his way back to me. Fuck, on a Sunday in February, I had a dream about him and I making up and he and me and my family was sitting at a table eating, laughing, smiling. It was a nice dream. It may be a subconscious thing that my brain made up but I want to see it as a vision of the future, that one day I’ll be able to have that again with him.

39: Am I superstitious? Yeah, to a point: I’m not carrying around talismans or having my future told daily but I’m a believer in ghosts and the occult so I like to act cautious and polite around forces that I can’t recognize. Like, I have this quirk of apologizing to gravestones (those flat ones that are built into the ground) when I’m in a cemetery and I step on them. It’s kinda like bumping into someone on accident but not apologizing for it, it’s better to just apologize and go along your way. Gotta have respect for the dead, you know? And of course I believe in things that are considered sacred, well more like the fact that they ARE sacred to people, not that I personally believe in them but other people do and it’s best to not be that asshole that shits on it just because I don’t believe in it, because all actions have an effect that follows and you get bad results thrown at you doing that.

60: Pet peeve? Uh, I’d say loud chewing. It’s gross and annoying but somehow I don’t mind slurping as much as chewing, as long as it isn’t the kind of slurping where you’re sucking through a straw trying to get the last bit of whatever’s left at the bottom of the cup. Because it’s like “Really, dude, just take out the straw and try a different way for crying out loud!”

#sorry for the late response Anon but here you go #and thank you so much for the question! #I always appreciate them #anonymous #read more because it's lengthy #azure babbles