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carewyncromwell · 9 months

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“Will we ever find our Neverland? Will we ever be at peace again?”

~“Neverland” by Crywolf

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previous part here! // full tag here! // original concept suggested by @ag907

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Carewyn bolted off of the stool she’d been sitting on with such force she knocked it over. Her eyes flooded with tears that blinded her, and yet this time, these tears gleamed like a beautiful rainbow, because there was no sorrow within. Only joy.

“JACOB -- JACOB!”

She ran to him. Her joy was so strong that she actually ended up coming right up off the ground, flying up to him so as to better reach him. Jack pulled out of Blaise and the other pirate’s hold, his hands likewise clutching at the air, until they reached each other. Carewyn threw her arms around her brother’s neck -- Jack clung to her even as his legs gave way and he collapsed onto his knees. He didn’t even care that his hat had fallen off. Instead he cradled the back of Carewyn’s head in his hand and held her tight.

“Wyn -- my Wyn -- ”

“Jacob, you’re here! You’re here, Jacob!”

“Yes!” choked Jack. “Yes, Wyn...I’m here -- you’re -- you’re here...you’re...you’re so big, Wyn! How long has it been...my little Wyn...my little sister...”

Jack’s hand in her hair was trembling.

“...Carewyn...” he whispered.

He cried even harder as he started to laugh.

“Your name is Carewyn,” he said weakly. “Not Wyn, not Winnie, it’s Carewyn.”

Carewyn beamed through her tears. “Yes, Jacob...”

“Mum called you Winnie,” Jack mumbled, almost awed by the recollection. “And I’m...I’m Jacob. I’m not Jack, I’m Jacob...”

“Yes, Jacob!” Carewyn assented fervently.

Jack -- no, Jacob -- was sobbing openly now. He kissed the top of Carewyn’s head, pulling away just enough to look over her face through his teary eyes.

“Oh, Wyn, look at you,” he breathed. “You’re so grown up! Oh, Wyn -- can you ever forgive me? I almost forgot you, Wyn -- forgot Mum...Wyn, I’m so sorry...”

“Me too, Jacob,” Carewyn mumbled as Jacob brought her right up beside his chest again, bringing his hand through her hair. “Me too -- ”

She squeezed him tighter still as he rocked her back and forth like a child. Her eyes were flowing with tears, but she’d never smiled bigger in her life. She even kept floating up off the ground in her brother’s arms.

“It’s just like Mum said,” she said through her tears. “Neverland is where dreams come true -- I dreamed and I dreamed, and...you’re here, Jacob, you’re really here!”

Jacob and Carewyn sat on the floor together, unable to let go of each other or stop crying in pure joy. For that moment, they didn’t see or think of anything else around them -- not until a low, dark Bass voice cut in.

“Indeed he is...as are you.”

Jacob and Carewyn both looked up. Hook stood over them, adjusting his hook offhandedly as he smiled coldly down at them.

“It is truly nice to have Winnie back where she belongs,” he murmured, his eyes boring into Jacob, “isn’t it, Jack?”

Jacob stared at Hook. In the span of the next ten seconds, his face had lost all of its color, his eyes once again brightening with an awareness he’d been lacking. Unlike when he remembered Carewyn’s full name or his mother, however, this revelation was a horror he could barely put into words.

“No -- no, no -- ”

He whirled on Carewyn. “Wyn -- Wyn, you’re supposed to be with Amari -- !”

Carewyn blinked, baffled. “Jacob?”

“You’re supposed to be with him -- he was supposed to keep you safe!” Jacob said, his voice torn by anger, anxiety and absolute terror. “You shouldn’t be here -- you have to get out of here now -- !”

Charles shot a pointed look at Blaise. In an instant, Blaise had swept forward and roughly grabbed Jacob around the waist, hoisting him up off the ground and away from Carewyn.

“No!” cried Carewyn. “No, don’t take him! Jacob! JACOB!”

The little girl desperately tried to hang onto her brother’s hands. It proved difficult, though, when Hook seized the back of her nightgown with his hook and seized her around the waist too with his other hand -- it made it impossible for her to fly and get free, no matter how much she kicked and squirmed -- and Jacob was torn out of her reach.

Jacob writhed in Blaise’s grip, even as the First Mate yanked him toward the open cabin door.

“Run, Wyn!” he bellowed. “Run back to Amari, Wyn! Forget about me! Forget me and run! Fly away -- !”

It was only seemingly with the burst of adrenaline that came with anger that Blaise managed to accrue enough strength to wrestle Jacob out the door and slam it shut behind him.

“You must forgive your brother,” Hook said in a cool voice that bordered on disdain. “I thought he’d be more appreciative that I reunited you with him, after so long...”

Carewyn’s eyes were overflowing with tears as she looked up at Hook.

“Let him go! Please, bring him back!”

“Now, Winnie,” Hook said, and he seemed oddly pleased to see Carewyn so upset, “of course I will. I would be happy to reunite you, once Jack’s discipline has expired.”

“Discipline?” repeated Carewyn. The word gave her serious misgivings.

“Naturally,” said Hook. “He was the one who tried to keep you from me. Are you not curious about how your brother knew you’d been with Orion Amari, without me telling him so? Why he never once sought you out, if he knew you were in Neverland?”

Carewyn stared up at the pirate captain. His blue eyes -- identical to hers -- gleamed with something darker even as his smile spread.

“Where shall I begin this tale...?” Hook murmured absently, as he crossed the room to look out the window. “Ah yes -- perhaps when your thoughtless brother left my ship and went off to the mainland by himself one day and didn’t return until after nightfall. I was very displeased, when I found him missing -- even more so when he lied that he had gone exploring and gotten lost. Had to break his leg, to ensure he wouldn’t try to go running off again...”

Carewyn felt like her heart had been squeezed.

“You monster -- how could you -- ?!”

“It was a bit cumbersome, when trying to deal with the centaur brat at Marooner’s Rock,” Hook cut her off cleanly, disregarding her righteous fury altogether. “Fortunately Orion Amari still played into my hand, and my hook, trying to save his two new Lost Kids. But in the cave, I heard you sing that melody which of course is mine and mine alone, and my suspicions were aroused. I had thought at first that the last child of the three my crew saw on the clouds was simply one more wee pup of this ginger-haired family that Amari had stumbled upon in the Other World -- but if, in fact, she knew my song, there was only one possible reason why. And sure enough, some interesting rumors started fluttering about the island -- of the Lost Kids’ new mother, with the eyes of a pirate.”

Carewyn felt Hook’s eyes on her through the glass of the cabin window.

“I knew you were one of mine,” said Hook, “but I was not completely certain that you were the Winnie I sought, or some other new pirate entirely. All my suspicions as to your identity were confirmed, however, when my helmsman Ashe brought you to me.”

His eyes flitted over to the brown-eyed teenager still standing by the door -- he’d had his eyes locked on the closed cabin door, but he looked up, startled, when he was addressed. Carewyn turned to look at the Pirate Without Pirate Eyes -- his face was almost as pale as Jacob’s had been, but his jaw was clenched: almost as if looking Carewyn in the face and seeing her tear-stained cheeks was difficult for him.

“He said he’d taken you for your eyes and for your resemblance to Jack’s accounts of you,” Hook said, his eyes boring into Ashe’s reflection in his cabin window. “And yes, for certain, those are fair reasons. But my helmsman was unaware of just how much I knew.”

Ashe tore his eyes away from Carewyn’s at last, unable to keep looking into those eyes so like Jacob’s. His brown eyes were rippling with turbulent emotion before he shut them tight.

“By the time Ashe brought you to me, I was already more than aware that Jack had stolen away to see Orion Amari that night and cajoled him into stealing you away. Who else would have the ability to bring you here, to this paradise of youth? Who else has a home I know not the location of? Why else would Amari have kept his Lost Kids’ new ‘mother’ so hidden? Why else would Jack’s moods be so turbulent -- longing to see you, and yet also being determined to keep you away from me?”

Hook turned away from the window at last to face Carewyn, his hand adjusting his hook.

“In surrendering you -- the precious treasure I sought for so long -- to my mortal enemy,” he said very softly, “in allowing my mortal enemy to deceive and manipulate you for his own ends -- to keep you from your only remaining family...Jack has been disloyal to his captain and orders. That is why he is now being punished.”

Carewyn’s blue eyes flashed with righteous anger. “Don’t talk about my brother like that! Or Orion! He’s a good person, and you’re -- you’re just a cruel, wicked old man!”

SHUCK.

Hook brought his hook down hard into the wood of the wall right beside Carewyn’s head. She flinched, immediately going silent, but her eyes bore into his with loathing.

“‘A good person,’” recurred Hook. His eyes were so empty and emotionless, they were akin to some ice-cold doll. “I suppose that’s why he takes children away from their families? Lures them away like some Pied Piper, promising them bon-bons and fanciful dreams? Have you never wondered why all of his ‘Children’ have no mother? Why they needed you to fill that role for them?”

Carewyn’s face lost some of its color.

“Not all of them lost their mothers the way you did, Winnie, my dear,” said Hook very quietly. “They lost them through the more wicked efforts of Neverland -- that wicked forgetfulness that Orion Amari has so willingly embraced.”

The memory of Orion’s words in Pixie Hollow returned to Carewyn’s mind.

“We all forget, Carewyn.”

“That’s part of what Neverland is. It wants you to forget your pain – leave behind your greatest sorrows, from that Other World. It wants you to be happy, and at peace…be young and free, forever.”

“...Forget him, and be happy.”

“He wants them to forget -- wants you to forget. He wants you to forget you ever had a family -- a home, a life before Neverland. All he wants you to know is that you’re one of his. For if you remember anything else...well, then you wouldn’t be his anymore. With your memories gone, you would have nowhere else to stay but with him.”

Carewyn felt her eyes welling up with tears and she clenched her jaw, trying to look brave.

“You’re a liar,” she choked.

Despite her words, she was full of a dread and foreboding she could hardly describe. Hook seemed to know it too, and he cleanly yanked his hook from the wall.

“If you want your proof, just look at the two boys that came with you, Winnie,” he said lightly. “Charlie and Bill, I believe you called them? Brothers, you said they were -- born of the same mother, back in the world you were from. Do you think their mother was where they learned that shepherd rhyme, the one Bill taught you? Did you know their mother, little Winnie? How much of her do you remember now? Do you even know if she’s dead or alive? How much of their family do you think Charlie and Bill even remember?”

“Stop it!”

Clearly all of this had struck a nerve. Carewyn wrapped her arms tightly around herself and withdrew, trying desperately to keep herself from completely breaking down.

Hook, however, merely used her shrinking posture to lord over her like a quiet, dark shadow. It made Carewyn feel tiny -- smaller than she ever had before -- shrinking in the face of such oppressive, silent darkness.

“They...wouldn’t forget,” Carewyn whispered. “They love their mother. They wouldn’t forget her...”

They couldn’t forget their mother...Carewyn’s heart felt like it was being ripped in half, just imagining it. She loved her own mother so much -- to make her dearest friends forget their family --

“Not out of their own will, perhaps,” said Hook softly. “But they weren’t given much of a choice, were they? Orion Amari simply...took them. Took them away from that world where they remember who they were, with no intention of sending them back...”

“Orion did not just ‘take them!’” Carewyn said fiercely.

“No,” Hook said pitilessly. “No, I suppose he only really wanted you. That was what he and Jack had arranged, wasn’t it? Amari was supposed to bring you to Neverland -- keep you away from me. Your two friends...were just a lovely little perk.”

Cold flooded Carewyn’s entire body like an ocean wave.

Was...was that true? That Orion had only brought Bill and Charlie along because of her? It was likely that they wouldn’t have let her go alone, if Orion had invited just her. But Orion had said he’d bring them back home --

Wait. No, he hadn’t. Bill had left his parents a note, to tell them where they’d gone...then Charlie had said they could be back home in time for supper. And Orion...Orion had just shrugged. He’d never said he’d take them home...

“…Forever is an awfully long time,” Carewyn’s own words came back to her, followed by Orion’s response --

“And yet it can feel like nothing at all.”

He knew. He’d known they’d lose track of time, hadn’t he? Even though Bill and Charlie had only intended to stay overnight and be back the next morning...even though it was clear that they’d been gone far longer than just one day...Orion hadn’t said anything.

“You belong here, Carewyn. With us. The Lost Kids.”

Orion had never intended to bring Carewyn home. And because Bill and Charlie had come with Carewyn...he never intended to bring them home either.

Now many people, children or otherwise, would’ve been overwhelmed with anger, resentment, maybe even hatred toward Orion in this moment. Ashe had certainly expected such a reaction. Instead, however, Carewyn only seemed to shrink further -- losing the last spark of resistance she’d had as her blue eyes flooded with fresh tears.

“...It’s my fault...”

The words fell from her lips without her even realizing it. They made Ashe straighten up sharply, startled. Hook, however, only seemed to gain a darker tone to his eyes.

“It is,” he said as softly as a demon might whisper in someone’s ear.

He bent down to get down on Carewyn’s level, but it only served to make him look more like a predator, as that malevolent look darkened further in his forget-me-not eyes.

“Orion Amari only wanted you,” he whispered. “Your brother only told him to find you. If it weren’t for you, Bill and Charlie would still be safe at home, with their mother. They wouldn’t be Lost -- doomed to forget everything and everyone they ever loved...motherless and lonely, running from the likes of me. They’d be living their lives safe at home with their family. If that family even still exists.”

Overcome with emotion, Carewyn covered her face in both hands. She tried incredibly hard not to break down into sobs, but tears leaked out of her eyes despite herself as she crumpled in on herself, her shoulders quaking. His eyes still dark with that cold, snake-like blackness, Hook very slowly brought his arms around the small girl and actually embraced her.

“There, there, Winnie,” he murmured. “I know it hurts. Betrayal always hurts...”

His silver hook ended up right beside her neck as he brought his china-white hand through her ginger hair.

“But you see now why I cannot allow you to return to the likes of Orion Amari. He only ever played with your emotions from the start -- took advantage of your kind heart, to get what he wanted...”

Ashe couldn’t help but keep a very close eye on the hook resting against the crying child’s helpless neck.

“You are one of mine, Winnie,” Hook said with a serpent’s attempt at kindness. “My blood and my flesh. It’s only natural that I would do all matter of things, to ensure you remain safely here, with me. If Amari or his Lost Kids ever took you from me again...I would have all the motive in the world to hurt them, if only to protect you from them...”

Carewyn looked up, horror in her teary eyes.

“No!” she said. “No, I won’t let you -- !”

“It’s all up to you, Winnie,” said Hook. “I will not forget your existence here. And I will not rest until you are mine. I will do anything I have to in order to make sure you and Jack remain here, on my ship...”

His blue eyes sparkled with more of that dark, satisfied glint.

“...Ah yes...and that’s the other rub, isn’t it? Now that you know Jack is here with me...could you live with yourself if you did leave? Could you forget that your brother is here with me -- alive and alone, on my ship -- sailing under my flag and following my orders? Could you bear it if your precious Amari hurt your brother while fighting my crew -- maimed him, as he did me?”

Carewyn flinched as the pirate captain tapped his cold hook against her neck.

Ashe’s lips knit together as his black eyes narrowed. He’d known Hook was a wicked man -- he was a pirate, so that was par the course. And Ashe knew that Jack would ultimately be happier in his sister’s company than being separated from her forever...it was the reason he’d even revealed Carewyn’s existence in the first place. He’d wanted Jack to be reunited with his sister. Then he would have everything he wanted and needed in Neverland, and...he would stay. He’d forget the Other World and his life there and happily stay...

But even so...Captain Hook truly was a heartless bastard.

Carewyn was shaking visibly now -- not just from her sobs, but through legitimate fear. As she shook, though, she went deathly quiet -- and eventually, all of the shaking seemed to have blasted some fresh adrenaline through her.

“I -- I’ll stay,” she burst out. “But -- but you have to do something for me, first!”

Hook cocked his eyebrows.

“You said your word is your bond,” Carewyn said with as much courage as she could muster. “Well, so is mine. ...I’ll give you what you want...but you have to give me what I want, first.”

Hook looked almost intrigued. “And what is that, little Winnie?”

“You have to let me go back to Orion,” Carewyn said very firmly. “You have to not follow me, or have me followed, on my way back to his hideout. Give me one night to send Bill and Charlie home. Then I’ll come back here to stay. ...I give you my word.”

Ashe’s brows furrowed. It was astounding enough that Jack’s sister was brave enough to try to make a deal with Captain Hook himself -- but she made no deal to advance herself: only to protect her friends and return them to their family. Even Orion Amari...even with how much she had to have resented him for how he’d tricked her and her friends...even he had somehow earned her protection, in this moment.

Ashe didn’t think he’d ever encountered anyone quite so selfless in all his life. Certainly not aboard the Jolly Roger. And clearly, neither had Hook -- and that was why he slowly rose to his feet in something like triumph, his eyes narrowing and his lips spread into a cold smile as he extended his only hand to her.

"...Very well. I will allow you to return to Orion Amari, one last time. You may tell your friends the truth of his deception -- perhaps even challenge him of the validity of it, if you so wish. And then, by nightfall, you will return, and never leave again.”

“You promise you won’t follow me?” Carewyn challenged him.

“I do.”

“And you won’t have me followed either?”

“I will make no attempt to seek out Amari’s hideout through your return.”

Carewyn’s shoulders relaxed ever-so-slightly, even as her jaw clenched slightly and she gave her best attempt at a stoic nod. Her face was as white as a sheet as she took his hand and shook it to seal the deal.

"We have an accord,” said Hook.

Gently releasing her hand, the pirate captain headed back to the table where Blaise’s tea service was still set up.

“When you return, Winnie, I should like very much if you sang for me again,” he said without looking at her. “Perhaps for your brother and the rest of the crew, as well. All of us do so enjoy singing, to pass the time.”

Carewyn couldn’t look at him either -- her eyes instead flitted to the far corner.

“...Yes, sir.”

Her eyes landed on Ashe. He too was looking at her out the side of his eye, looking more uncomfortable than ever.

“Good,” said Hook. “Your brother has baldly refused to sing for me once, since he arrived, even when all of us crew members have chosen to sing together. It has greatly displeased me...”

He picked up the empty blue cup in the set, cradling it lightly.

“I’m sure you think I’m very cruel, Winnie,” he said airily. “But truly, once you return home to stay, I think you will see I can be kind. Especially when someone has given me proper motivation to do so.”

Hook glanced over his shoulder at Carewyn, still cradling that blue-patterned cup. The bottom of it was a faded gray -- stains likely left by that “black licorice” drink he’d poured into it so many times before.

“You see this tea set?” he indicated the one he was holding, as well as the red, yellow, and green-patterned ones. “I forget where I first purchased it -- but an image I do retain is of four children, each one holding one of these four cups...”

Something misty trailed over his eyes.

“...My children, I think...” he murmured.

That mistiness passed quickly.

“...The child that held this one was very quiet -- soft as a springtime breeze and frail. Her eyes were like mine, her face heart-shaped, and her hair, long and blond. And she was gentle -- intelligent and patient, calm and serene...”

Carewyn could see a restrained, but loving smile on the inside of her eyelids -- her mother’s smile. The shift in her expression made Hook tilt his head a bit, examining it.

“She’s familiar to you, isn’t she?” he asked. “That child that was mine?”

Carewyn nodded without looking up. Hook’s forget-me-not eyes narrowed that bit more.

“You are Lane’s,” he murmured. Had he lost sight of that fact temporarily, in all this? “She was mine...and so too are you.”

His pale, doll-like face was very unreadable as he gently slid the tea cup into Carewyn’s hands, making the little girl look up in surprise.

“I realize my kind of brew isn’t to your taste,” said Hook with a very small smile, “but I hope you will keep this -- as a memento of your mother, who I likewise wish was with us.”

Carewyn looked from Hook to down at the teacup and back. Her squirming stomach that made her distrust and dislike the man who had broken Jacob’s leg and was threatening the safety of everyone else on the island was painfully at odds with her heart, aching with longing and grief for her mother.

“...Thank you,” Carewyn said at last, very reluctantly.

Pleased by her lack of resistance, Hook shot a cool look at Ashe.

“Take her ashore, helmsman, and then return promptly. Winnie knows the way back to us, after she’s dealt with her affairs.”

Ashe’s eyes narrowed a bit. “...Yes, sir.”

He averted his eyes when Carewyn looked at him, instead heading over to the door and holding it open for her.

“After you,” he said brusquely.

Glancing at the pirate out the side of her eye, Carewyn swallowed, before -- securing the blue teacup safely beside her heart in both hands -- she forced herself to plow out of the door, right out onto the deck.

The other pirates with eyes like hers -- Pearl, Claire, and Blaise -- all quickly looked up at her at the helm. They watched her follow Ashe across the deck and then onto the gangplank toward shore -- Blaise even went to go confront Charles, when he likewise came out onto the helm -- but both Carewyn and Ashe stubbornly kept their eyes averted, trying to pretend they weren’t there. Carewyn desperately looked around for some sign of Jacob, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“He’s down in the brig,” Ashe reminded her under his breath. “He’ll likely remain there until you return.”

Carewyn looked up at Ashe, startled. The Pirate Without Pirate Eyes had very stiff shoulders and his voice was oddly hard, but his face betrayed some shame despite his best efforts.

Carewyn considered him carefully.

“...You’re not part of our family, are you?” she asked after a moment.

Ashe scoffed. “Of course not -- I don’t look a thing like you.”

Carewyn frowned deeply, clearly confused. Ashe stole a look over his shoulder at her and then scoffed again.

“Hn -- if you’re thinking Hook coerced me to join, then you’re wrong,” he said dryly. “I wasn’t forced to become a pirate -- I chose to. I had nothing to live for and even less to die for, so I came here. I joined Hook’s crew of my own free will -- and I stay for the same reason.”

Carewyn’s blue eyes grew a little smaller.

“Yeah, yeah, judge me all you like,” Ashe said coolly, “your brother’s more than rambled on about how much of a saint you are and how sweet and brave and kind you are and all that. But I like being a pirate. I like not having to answer to anyone -- to not having to impress anyone, or look out for anyone except myself. Your brother does too, whenever he forgets to feel sorry for himself. He’s been able to be happy here -- at least until he remembers how much he misses you...”

Despite the bluntness and defensiveness of Ashe’s posture, something a little more pained and almost jealous rippled over his features saying this.

“He’s miserable...thinking of being apart from you,” he said more lowly. “Whatever stupid thought he had in giving you over to Amari -- whatever idiotic idea made him hurt himself and you, by keeping the truth from you and staying away from you...he can’t let go of his past and be happy, so long as he’s separated from you.”

He stole another look over his shoulder at her. Upon finding that she was looking right at him, though, he quickly looked away again in a vain attempt to obscure his emotions again.

“You’ll both be much better off together here than apart,” Ashe said brusquely. “Sure, maybe Hook’s a villain, and yeah, maybe you’ll have to toughen up and accept that life’s not fair and Neverland isn’t all sunshine and rainbows...but well, you’ll survive it. Your brother has. I have. And even if things aren’t perfect...well, we’re both Lost too, even if we’re not kids anymore. ...We’ve just been Lost together.”

Carewyn didn’t answer. Ashe wanted to look over his shoulder at her, but he could feel her eyes on his back and so stubbornly kept his focus ahead as they reached the section of the woods where he’d first found Carewyn, not far from Pixie Hollow.

“Here you are, then,” Ashe said dismissively. “Hook will expect you tomorrow, before nightfall.”

Carewyn bowed her head solemnly. “Yes.”

There was an uncomfortable silence. Avoiding her eye, Ashe stuffed his hand in his pocket and turned on his heel to leave.

“Well...see you around.”

Ashe was startled by Carewyn taking his hand. When he looked at her, he found a very pale, but oddly brave look on her face.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice coming out rather strained.

Ashe blinked. He then almost immediately tried to brush it off.

“For what, walking you to shore? I was just following orders...”

But Carewyn shook her head. “No. I mean for...well, what you said earlier. I don’t agree with you, at all,” she added, meaning to clarify. “I don’t want to be a pirate...and I don’t think Jacob does either, not really. Especially not under someone like Hook.”

Her blue eyes softened.

“...But you said...you were Lost too. And that...well, when Jacob was here, in Neverland...you two were Lost together. And even if I know Jacob didn’t tell me the truth because he wanted to protect me...I think you only told Hook because you were trying to be a good friend...not because you wanted Jacob hurt or locked up.”

Ashe was horrified by this idea. “Well, obviously! I mean, sure, I knew Hook would be mad, and yes, he has taken his anger out on Jack before, but -- well, you were going to be part of his crew, which he wanted, so I thought...”

He brushed off the end of the sentence, not seeing the need to go on about whatever fake outcome he’d conjured up in his own head. Carewyn didn’t seem to mind, though.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you -- and I’m sure Jacob isn’t either, even if he might act mad at first. I just...well, like I said...thank you. For being there for Jacob. I’m really glad he had you, the way I had Bill and Charlie.”

Ashe stared at Carewyn for a moment, perfectly bewildered. He felt his face flushing and, very quickly, he looked away, trying and failing to hide his embarrassment.

“Well...uh...I...”

His sharp-lidded brown eyes betrayed something a bit more fragile as he glanced at her. She offered him a weak, but still rather brave smile, and gave his hand a squeeze as she released it. She then turned on her heel toward the woods, taking a deep breath before slowly starting to walk away.

“Are you going to be okay from here?” Ashe asked, before he could stop himself.

Carewyn turned back around to look at him, startled. Ashe wanted to hit himself -- where had that come from? Had Jack astral-projected himself out of the brig and momentarily possessed him or something?

Carewyn, however, gave him a kind smile and nodded.

“...Mm-hmm. I know the way back, from here.”

Ashe knew she wasn’t just thinking of her way back to the Lost Kids’ hideout either, from the way her eyes dimmed, glancing past him toward the horizon. Even despite the darkening of her expression, though, she kept that slightly strained smile on as she turned and disappeared into the trees. Her hands were clasped over her heart, holding the blue-patterned teacup that her mother had used so long ago.

Despite her hesitation at accepting Hook’s “gift,” she cradled it in her hands with the utmost care.

Oh, Mum, she thought, as all of the hard-fought courage she’d been desperately clinging to slowly fell from her face. You warned me about how dangerous Captain Hook was...and you were right, Mum, you were right. But...

The thought of Bill and Charlie made Carewyn’s heart hurt.

I can’t let him hurt them, Mum -- and I can’t let them forget their mother like I almost forgot you and Jacob, Mum...

If she did, she knew she’d never be able to forgive herself...

x~x~x~x

Carewyn arrived back at Hangman’s Tree very, very late that night. Only Orion saw her come in, from his spot sitting up in the “cubby” spot inside one of the tree’s branches.

Despite seeing her, though, he did not move or make any attempt to make his presence known. Instead he watched her put down some pretty-looking blue and white Lost Thing beside her little cot, before tucking herself in, curling up in a ball, and going right to sleep.

Orion silently watched Carewyn sleep from afar off and on for a while. At one point, he even floated down toward ground level so as to get a better look at her, as if making sure she wasn’t injured. Her hair was neat and there were no scrapes or blood, but her face...there was disquiet, in how she slept. And her lips...

Orion’s black eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly.

The warm, kind, well-loved-teddy-bear wrinkles at the corners of Carewyn’s lips -- so evocative of resilience to Orion, when he’d first seen her -- were a shade darker now.

Was her sorrow about forgetting her brother to blame for that? Was...what he’d said about Neverland, about how both he and it wanted her to forget...to blame for it? Was he...?

This thought was so unpleasant that Orion immediately pushed it away, wanting to scare it away like some meddlesome bird trying to steal his lunch.

He hadn’t wanted to hurt her -- that was part of why he wanted her to come to Neverland in the first place. The Other World was full of pain, and Carewyn had clearly known a lot of it, despite still being a child. But here, pain was easily forgotten. Grief and suffering and loneliness...they were all easily forgotten here. He didn’t need to apologize for making her cry. She’d forget she was sad in the first place, by the next morning -- Neverland was good at making people forget pain and sorrow. And if any bit of her sadness remained, he could make it up to her. He could take her somewhere else fun, or bring her a nice gift, or fly with her that bit higher into the sky. Then they could be just as they were...happy and free, like they were with the fairies...

Orion merely brought a hand up and gently patted the top of her ginger head -- just as his Shadow had, when he’d first come to collect it at the Weasley family home. Then, without saying a word, he withdrew to his own cot and likewise went to sleep.

Even if those darker lines remained...she could at least forget what had darkened them in the first place. Then she’d stay, and be free. Then she’d smile again.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #my writing #my art #peter pan au #jacob cromwell #carewyn cromwell #charles cromwell #duncan ashe #orion amari #bill weasley #charlie weasley #fanfiction #ohhh orion you really don't know what you're in for :<#also yes charles is a gaslighting SOB I mean come on HIM talking about ANYONE else manipulating anyone for their own gain is ridiculous #yes he's obviously projecting everything he's doing to carewyn onto orion #but sadly orion's choice to lure carewyn to neverland is easy to demonize #because yeah even if he did it with the thought that she could be happy in neverland and he likes her as a person and wanted her to stay #he still was deceptive and roped both bill and charlie into the whole thing when he *knows* they have a family who would miss them #doesn't mean charles and orion are the same by any means #but you can see how captain charles hook would take advantage of the black-gray morality here

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