#Anyway here's some art dedicated to my fic readers

[jaylver]

SLUT! — P.JS

synopsis: experiencing love in your last year of high school was totally unexpected, especially when it’s the fact that you had fallen for the boy everyone wants. what you weren’t prepared for was the troubles that came with it. however, you were willing to pay the price just for the sake of love. 

pairings: non-idol!jay x afab!reader

genre: acquaintances to lovers, high school au, romance, angst, coming of age (?)

warning(s): profanities, (slight) slut shaming, underage drinking and partying

wc: 6.7k

a/n: last fic of 2023! thank you for all the support 🫶 a little piece dedicated to everyone and also those who loves this song equally as much as me! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

Finding love was the last thing you had on your list right now.

It was the final year of high school. Everyone was freaking out over the fact that they were growing older and their time in high school was over. The Californian air couldn't be any more duller after that. Senior prom and graduation preparations were already starting even though it was just the start of the year. What was stopping them anyway? 

Being a teenager was art, but what they didn't tell you about growing up was the process of falling in love. 

It was torture. Witnessing people in love all around you while you struggled with advancing past the talking stage. No, it wasn't fair. However, having cupid strike its bow at you unexpectedly one day was the worst of crimes.

You know the embarrassing feeling when you see your classmates outside of school? Right. That was how you felt the moment Park Jong Seong walked into your mother's clinic, your eyes widening behind the counter. Must you be responsible for the counter at this very hour?

“Hey—Y/N?”

Jay was a classmate. You didn't really know him and neither did he know much about you. It was just neutral, where you coexist in the same space until the bell rings and the day ends. You get the gist. 

That doesn't exclude the point where Jay was widely known, though. He wasn't like his popular jock friends or an athlete whatsoever. Instead, he was a studious guy who kept his reputation clean. Basically, he was your typical golden boy. You knew he wasn't completely innocent to an extent, but at least he was good at hiding it. 

There is no denying that everyone wants him. He was a nice guy paired with strong, distinct features. It was no secret he was also known for his looks and caring manners.

“Jay? What are you doing here?” 

He was wrapped in a thick hoodie, hands hidden in his pants pocket. “Caught a cold. I thought I should drop by to see a doctor and get some medicine,”

“Oh no,” you tried your best at giving a concerned expression, though you were busy skimming through files on the laptop. “Do you have a record here?”

“I do. Not my first time,”

You tried for his full legal name instead of ‘Jay Park’ and thankfully, his record showed up. “Found it,” you glanced up just to find him staring back at you. This was probably the first time you were this close to him, enough to be able to distinguish the moles on his face.

“I'll call you in a bit,”

You did what you always do every time, inform your mother and call the patients in. But Jay wasn't just another patient to you. When you called his name, you watched as he got closer, casting you a sweet smile right before he disappeared behind the door, leaving you to your seat at the counter, overthinking the littlest details that you knew you'd have to spill to your best friend after.

Jay waited patiently by the counter once it was time to pay. His gaze followed your every move as you got his prescribed medicine and stuffed them carefully into a bag. 

“Here you go,” you passed the bag over, then accepted the cash he had been holding for a while. “Thanks,” you muttered, taking the chance at avoiding eye contact when you slipped the cash into the register.

“Thank you too,” Jay said, immediately gaining your attention. He was still managing a smile even though you could tell he was shivering slightly. 

“No problem. Rest well,” you took a piece of candy from your own bowl of personal sweets stash. “Here,” 

“Candy?”

You nodded, humming softly. 

“Thanks,” his voice was quieter, sounding as if he was in disbelief. Unbeknownst to you, his eyes twinkled, a hint of fascination lingered. “I'll see you around, Y/N.”

“See you.”

That night, you laid awake replaying the encounter you had with Jay. It was the first time you've ever talked to him, and it was barely anything, but you somehow understood why people liked him by then. Not like you didn't like him initially, you meant, romantically.

It was definitely an odd place to meet and talk to him. Out of all the possible places, it just had to be your mother’s clinic that none of your peers came to once, that was until him. But somehow, it was the right timing despite the location. It was the wrong place at the right time.

Who knew his cold and your candy would soon start something neither of you expected.

“Do you wish you made out with him or something?”

Telling Yunjin about it was probably the best and worst idea. Sure, she could be a great moral support, except she lacked filters when needed.

“What the fuck—no!” You glanced around, hoping none of the passing students heard your stupid discussions. “He's hot but not like that, at all,”

“So you admit he's hot!”

You rolled your eyes, chucking the bag of Doritos back to her. “I never said he wasn't,”

“You intended it, said you didn't get the ‘hype’ around him,” 

“Until now!” You threw your hands up in surrender, only getting a cackle from Yunjin as a response. “Whatever. It's a one time thing. He's out of my league. It's a whole ‘You Belong with Me’ music video type of situation excluding me being friends with him,”

“You're yapping at this point,”

“Thanks, I know,”

“It's not that serious, Y/N. You fighting your life trying to defend yourself only makes it seem like you're in denial,” why must she always be on point?

“Whatever, whatever,” you waved her off, stubbornly ignoring what she said. “I'm at the back of the line anyway, I should be worrying about graduation and college,”

“Oh right!” Yunjin physically jumped, her backpack shook. “I need your opinion on something.”

That whole Jay discourse had swarmed your head that was currently leaning against the window. You purposely picked a seat by the window at the back of the class, hoping for some space to think since it was a class you didn't have with Yunjin. 

“A dollar for your thoughts?”

To your right stood Jay, shouldering his backpack and offering a warm smile. You knew you shared this class with him, but to have him walk up to you at that very moment was something beyond unexpected.

“Hey,” you greeted rather stiffly, not knowing what to do now that you were put under the spot. “W–what are you doing standing there?” Facepalm.

“Oh—do you mind if I sit beside you?” He pointed at the empty seat next to you, and you shook your head. You usually sat with random classmates anyway, having no close friends in this class was a struggle. 

Jay's face broke into a smile of relief, plotting his bag down before taking a seat. “Thanks, I don't really have anyone I know here,”

“You don't?” That's weird. You always noticed how people naturally swarmed around Jay's table, either greeting him or chatting with him.

“Not really. None of them are really my friends,”

But you were?

“You're a friend to me, though,” he added, as if reading your mind at that instant.

You were taken aback, but you hid it well, masking it with nonchalance. “Really?”

He nodded, a sincere smile that told you he meant it. You let yourself loose this time, reciprocating his smile. “I'm honoured,”

“I'm even more honoured.”

Throughout the class, you didn't miss the occasional glances from him and neither did you stop yourself from looking at him. He was much more breathtaking up close. Who were you to deny that?

By the end of the class, the bell rang and everyone started to pack up, some already rushing out in a hurry. You, on the other hand, was too caught up in your headspace to notice Jay was already done tidying up beside you and was waiting for his queue.

“Uh—Y/N?” he tapped you on your shoulder, stealing your attention at once. You stared at him expectantly, blinking with curiosity behind your eyes.

“Yeah?” You dragged the word out slightly, packing your last book into your bag.

“Would you like to go to a party this weekend?”

A party? That'd be your first.

“Where's that? Can I bring my friend too?”

“Yes and it's at Jake's house,” he winced, forgetting you're not one of those frequent party goers. “I'll text you the details—wait, I don't even have your number,” he laughed awkwardly, which only made you smile.

“Real smooth, Jay,” you signalled for his phone, and he grabbed it out of his jeans pocket without saying a word, eyes following your move as you typed in your number. 

When you handed his phone back, he didn’t hesitate to press the call button. Obviously, you heard your ringtone coming from your backpack. You glanced at Jay, giving him a face that was saying ‘really?’, quite incredulous that he’d doubted you. 

“Just wanted to be sure,” he smiled, scratching the back of his neck out of awkwardness. “I’ll make sure to text you,” he held his phone up, waving it a little and slowly getting up from his seat, to which you followed suit. At that moment, the classroom was already almost empty, so it was just a few lingering students with you and Jay, but it all felt like you were in a completely different universe altogether.

“Cool,” 

“Cool,” Jay echoed after you, and you resisted yourself from laughing. Apparently he noticed your tight smile and smiled along with you. Wordlessly, you two communicated through each of your smiles even as you walked side by side out the door. 

“Which way are you going?” he was quick to ask, eyes shining with expectations.

“I’m going that way,” you pointed to the right, down the busy corridor.

“Oh,” Jay visibly faltered, the expectations he held behind his gaze were crushed. “I’m heading that way,” he pointed to the left, the opposite direction of where you’re going. 

“I guess that’s it for today,” you patted his shoulder, unbeknownst to how Jay had froze under your touch for a second. “Until our next class together, then,”

“See you,” he waved, gradually backing away.

You couldn’t help but grin. “Bye!” 

You watched as he walked away, his back now fully facing you. It took you another beat before your feet were willing you away to where you were meant to go. But what you failed to realise as you concentrated on your steps was Jay turning his head back to catch a glimpse of you, his head only filled with the thoughts of you.

He’s so screwed.

Staying at the library was the last resort for you once you got to know Yunjin had an impromptu extra hour class after school. She promised she'd take you to the pool, considering the weather was only getting hotter day by day. But you suppose it'd have to wait for now.

What was worse, the heatwave or high school? Trick question.

The library was mostly empty by this hour, only a couple of students remained to either study or chill around just like you. It was one of those times where you wondered why you didn't explore more. As you wandered along the towering shelves filled with old books, you caught sight of an interesting looking one.

Instinctively, you pulled the book out of the shelf without thinking twice. But what caught your eyes wasn't the cover of the book or the book itself in general. Instead, it was the pair of eyes staring back at you through the small gap from where the book originally sat.

The most surprising bit of all was you knew and recognised who those eyes belonged to. Jay.

Your eyes widened, so did he once he saw your reaction. For some inexplicable reason, you stood up straight, unknowingly fixing your hair out of a nervous habit. 

You were nervous? It's just Jay. No, wait, that's probably why. It's Jay. How were you not going to feel nervous around him?

Quick, think! Were you going to find him in the next aisle or run away. Maybe not the latter. You turned on your heel and walked forward, deciding to find Jay and greet him out of courtesy. 

You were just about to turn the corner when you stumbled into the man you were looking for, perfect. Actually, not perfect. The moment you crashed into him, you stumbled into his chest and his hands flew up to catch you, the book originally in his possession dropped to the ground with a firm thud.

There you were, literally in his arms and looking frenzied. His wide eyes matched yours. It took a few beats and a moment for your mind to formulate what's happening for you to finally push yourself from him, absolutely flustered from embarrassment.

“Hey,” you dusted your front in an attempt to hide your burning cheeks.

“Hi,” he replied rather breathlessly, mirroring your rosy cheeks.

The book that fell to the ground suddenly became unimportant to Jay, but to you, it was a mark that was burning into the precious floorings. You moved fast and picked up the book, yet you weren't quick to hand it back, instead you took a look at it.

“Pride and Prejudice?” You noted from the old cover, then glanced at him, a glint of interest sparked. “Didn't know you're like that,” you extended the book out to him. 

He took the book back into his possession, smiling rather sweetly. “Literature is the death of me,”

“Isn't it a selective subject?”

“It is. I was an idiot for thinking I could hold on,” he rolled his eyes, making you giggle softly.

“I'm sure you will. You're—like—Einstein smart,”

“Are you trying to stroke my ego right now?” He crossed his arms, leaning onto the bookshelf ever so casually.

“No, I'm just pointing it out. You literally rank in the top 5 every year! It's annoying,”

“Is it so?”

“Very much,”

“Should I be flattered? I'm flattered,” he bowed dramatically, unable to hide his smug smile. It was your turn to roll your eyes, shaking your head at him. He only let out a laugh at your reaction. “What are you doing here at this time anyway?”

“Oh—Yunjin, my friend, had a random impromptu class so she had to stay back. I was waiting for her since she’s bringing me to go swim, but now I don’t know if that’s happening,”

“You could always stop by my place for a swim,”

You blinked, head tilting to one side. “What?”

Jay seemed to have become embarrassed judging from the reddening tips of his ears that you were (thankfully) oblivious to. “I have a pool, and my parents are out of town for maybe a few months or so for work, so it’s practically unused,”

“What about your friends? Don’t they go over to swim?”

“They do, but they’re looking to take more advantage of it by wanting to throw a party soon since my parents are away,” he grumbled in the last part.

“Well, are you?”

“I guess? I don’t mind it,” he hummed, bright eyes flickering to you. “Will you come if I do?”

“If I’m invited,”

“Obviously you are,” Jay said matter-of-factly, eyebrows raised. “So what do you say?”

“Sure,”

“Great. I’ll hold you to it,” he snapped his fingers, and was basically beaming now. It only made you form more visible heart eyes. “But for now, I’ll see you at Jake’s party,”

 “Deal.”

That day, you left the library with a lovesick smile instead of a book. You didn’t even get annoyed after knowing it was too late for a trip to the pool, and obviously Yunjin caught onto that. On the walk home, you thought about him and the party. Anxiety and anticipation were both building up, until he came up in mind again and everything disappeared.

You got lovestruck and it went straight to your head. It was almost the first time you’ve actually felt the way you’re feeling now, nobody had once made you fully experience every emotion of having a crush in your years in high school. No one was even capable of it, that was until Jay appeared into your life. 

Going to bed that same night, you thought of him again. At that point, you wondered if he would materialise in your bedroom from the amount of times you had him in your head. Maybe he’d be accidentally manifested into life. 

Tossing and turning, you kicked your feet at the imaginations you had of him. Upon realising your own behaviour, you covered your face with a pillow and screamed into it. Were you crazy? Oh my God, you were! 

Then it hit you.

You’re admitting this now. You like Park Jong Seong. 

“I can’t believe we’re here,”

Yunjin was currently having the best of her life even though nothing has happened yet and you both had just arrived at Jake’s house. 

The walk in was already shocking. On the lawn of Jake’s house were knocked out drunks, then by the door were people making out and doing weird things you didn’t want to think of again. You were surprised that everything happening before you was something you’ve seen in movies and you were actually experiencing that now. 

“Is this even … legal?” you glanced around, cringing at the tacky set ups and badly picked music in the background.

“No. But you’ve drunk before, so who are you to say?”

“Touche,” 

Wandering further into the house, you realised there were many people here, but you weren't surprised at all. Jake was a well known footballer anyway, how could he not be popular in the first place?

"Y/N!"

At the sound of your name being called, you looked over your shoulder to see Jay approaching you. His eyes carried the same kind of brightness he has around you, the corner of his lips were curved up into a wide smile. Let's not forget how he has his hair styled up at that moment. Was he expecting you to not feel anything?

"Jay! Hey," you waved meekly at him until he was standing before you. You noticed his gaze on your friend who was standing beside you, a look of unfamiliarity clearly written in his expressions. "This is Yunjin, by the way,"

Yunjin and Jay both greeted each other amicably, though a little awkward but it was natural for it to be like that. Jay turned to look at you, eyebrows raised. "This would be a great chance to introduce my friends but—"

"Jay!"

"I take that back," 

You and your friend exchanged a brief look, stifling your laughter at Jay's demeanour. He was flailing his hand to get his friend to come closer, and by then, you could recognise who it was. 

"Bro, why were you running around all night? Were you expecting someone—oh, hey," Jake, the host of the party and the popular footballer, had finally taken account of you and your friend's presence. "I'm Jake, nice to meet you,"

"Likewise, I'm Y/N,"

"Yunjin," 

"Y/N and Yunjin, you guys are new faces around here," 

"It's not really our scene," you nudged Yunjin a little, and she nodded in agreement. It's true, you and her equally preferred a night in with a romcom playing than this. But you'd make it an exception this time, and maybe the next time for Jay's party. 

"You're always welcomed. Any friend's of Jay or friend's of Jay's friend are welcomed to our party," Jake patted Jay's back, while the latter only rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Jake! Your toilet's clogged—" another one you recognised to be a part of the friend group appeared out of the blue. It was Sunghoon. Star hockey player and basically every girl's crush, he was known for his wits, charming good looks, and crazy hockey skills, duh. 

If you told yourself from months back that you'd somehow become friends with Jay and meet his friends, you'd think you're crazy. 

"Hey, sorry," Sunghoon winced, but gave Jake a pointed look after. Jake scoffed in annoyance, then left with a huff and a wave of goodbye to you and Yunjin. "Sorry 'bout that, I'm Sunghoon,"

"I'm Yunjin," when did she become this bold? Whatever it was, you were willing to support her.

"I'm Y/N," 

"You're Y/N?" Sunghoon gasped quietly, glancing between you and Jay, interest forming in his head.

Jay slapped the back of Sunghoon's head, and in the midst of the latter's grumbles, he could only smile awkwardly at you. "Shut up," he hissed to Sunghoon.

"First, ouch. Second, whatever," Sunghoon bumped Jay roughly with his shoulder. "Wanna get some drinks?"

"I'm fine, I'll pass. Maybe Yunjin can go along with you?" You eyed Yunjin, and you saw her giving you those 'i owe you my life' type of eyes. 

"Sure," Sunghoon smiled at Yunjin, but gave Jay a firm nudge, his gaze alone conveying the message. Apparently bro telepathy was a thing, because in a few seconds, he decided Jay was staying with you and wandered off along with your best friend. 

"It's just us two now," you said, as if it wasn't already obvious. 

"Yeah," Jay was equally stiff as you were. "Sounds crazy, but do you want to go up to the room? It's a little loud here,"

"I don't think it's 'a little' but totally, sure. Lead the way," you figured Jay was familiar with his way since it was quite literally his best friend's house.

He wordlessly took your hand and intertwined it with his. It was so casual and sudden that it was unexpected, knocking the breath out of you. He made sure you were walking in front of him the whole time, hand never leaving yours and only gripping tighter as he held you close to avoid the crowd. 

In a world of boys, he was a gentleman. 

He eventually brought you to a quiet room down the hall upstairs, into a bedroom that was decorated much simpler. You guessed it was the guest room, it would've made most sense. 

"Do you normally bring girls here?" 

Jay's face contorted into a mix of shock and disbelief, arms thrown into the air. "What—no!"

"Really?"

"What makes you think that?"

You shrugged, taking a seat on the bed. "I don't know? Well, everyone wants you—"

That was your crime.

"—you're popular, smart, cute, kind and—am I talking too much?" You paused, feeling the bed dip beneath you as Jay joined your side. 

"I like it," he hummed, turning to look at you. "I like you,"

You blinked. One second. Two seconds. 

"What?" Your eyes were widening, whereas Jay was just staring back calmly with an unwavering smile.

"I like you, Y/N," the confession rolled off his tongue like a secret he has been keeping for too long. The eyes that were searching for yours were filled with longing and hope.

Was this really happening right now?

"I like you too, Jay," 

It felt like the world had stopped and it was just you and him there. You were taking in his confession and so was he. It might've been silent but it was comfortable. 

"Can I—" he leaned in, but stopping just an inch away from your lips. You could feel his breath on yours, noses making contact. That was how close he was. 

"Yeah," 

Just before Jay could press his lips against yours, the door burst open and you jumped, literally. You heard a thud too, and realised Jay was on the floor. 

You turned to look at the door, finding the culprit standing there awkwardly. It was Jake, and he, too, was self aware that he had crashed an important private moment.

"Uh—I just wanted to find Jay…"

"Jake, if you don't close that door right now, I swear—"

Jay didn't even need to finish his sentence when Jake slammed the door shut, yelling out 'sorry's and saying he'd be waiting for Jay down the hall. Talk about awkward encounters. 

You locked eyes with Jay, who looked thoroughly embarrassed but also humoured. It didn't take long before you burst out laughing and he joined along. Soon, he returned to his original spot next to you too.

"That was … bad,"

"It was," you were fidgeting with your hands, suddenly nervous. "I guess the timing wasn't right,"

"It really wasn't,"

Silence fell between the two of you, and there was something in your mind that was bugging you. "Does this mean we're …?" You didn't need to finish what you were saying for Jay to get the meaning. 

"I mean, do you want to try it out first? We don't need to rush into anything, don't even need to be official. I just wanted you to know how I feel," 

"I can do slow," you nodded, catching a brief glimpse of Jay. 

"I'll always be waiting for you," Jay took your hand in his, and that was when you finally had the courage to meet his eyes again. "Whenever you're ready."

People say dating the popular guy was a bad idea, but for once, you were willing to let loose and give your heart a go.

Who knew the start of your newfound romance would soon blossom into a whirlwind of tears, love, and scandalous teen romance.

"So you're dating him now?"

Having Yunjin scream into your ear in the morning during the first period was not surprising. Maybe telling her everything over the phone and leaving her hanging wasn't the best idea. It wasn't your fault she was hungover anyway.

"Shush! Do you want everyone to know?"

"I'm sure everyone knows by now,"

You gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

"Jake kinda saw you guys, then he blabbered it to Sunghoon, and I guess others heard it because he was not quiet about it,"

Jake. You heaved a sigh, shaking your head a bit. "We're not boyfriend girlfriend official, but just … trying things out, you know?"

"I know," Yunjin let out a satisfied hum. "I think he'd be great for you,"

"Really?"

"He's a nice guy, Y/N. Judging from his reputation, he seems like a good man," Yunjin practically gave you her seal of approval, and it left you feeling happy for the rest of the period.

That was until lunch break where everything fell apart way too fast.

Walking out to the cafeteria, you didn't think much about anything else as you listened to Yunjin rant about her latest online purchase. But the moment you heard Jay's name along with yours in passing, your ears perked up. You thought nothing of it, leading up to Kim Minjeong confronting you head on and you knew that's when you should start worrying.

"Are you … the one with Jay?" 

You glanced at Yunjin for a split second, anxiety bubbling in your stomach. "I guess?"

"You're a slut. Don't you know I have a thing for him? There's something call girl code—"

"Woah woah, wait, what? Look, we don't even know you like that," Yunjin quickly butt in upon seeing you fall silent. 

"Everyone knows me! Everyone knows Jay and I had a thing! What is it you want? His popularity? Money—"

"Shut up," 

Speaking of the devil.

"You okay?" Jay appeared by your side, gaze softening once it landed on you. "I was searching for you, didn't know this is happening,"

"I—"

"Jay! What are you doing? Why are you with her—"

"Can you just quit it? We've been through this many times, Minjeong. I don't like you and I never have, why can't you just accept it?" He sounded exasperated, almost as if he had been putting up with this for ages. "Put my girl's name out of your mouth and leave her out of this. She's the one I want, not you,"

The only way you could describe Minjeong's face there was rageful. Her expressions were contorted and her lips were etched into a frown. She knew she couldn't defend herself further, so she eventually left with a huff.

It was quite unsalvageable at that point and you felt yourself breaking down from the inside out. Even when Jay called your name, you only shrugged him off and brushed past him. The worst part of all: he didn't run after you either.

Great. Now you were going to spend the rest of the day mulling in bed.

That didn't last long either. Once you got into bed, ready to sleep away from the day's incident and think back to Yunjin's pep talk, you heard your phone buzz. Not once, but multiple times. Who was sending messages at that time? Of course, it had to be him.

jjongster: hey, can we please talk?

jjongster: like right now

you: right now?

jjongster: yeah, send me wherever you're most convenient to meet

This was stupid. Sneaking out of your room when it's dark out and meeting Jay down the street from your house. All when your emotions were not stable and set yet. You've sent him the address and now he's waiting there, standing by his car like a dream. 

"Hey," he called out softly as you walked closer to him. 

"Hi," you hated this, the sudden stiffness and awkwardness that got between you two, you shouldn't be suffering because of it.

"Sorry for asking you to come out this late," he was quick to apologise, taking a step closer to you. He was always so nice, so kind and loving. "I–it's just eating me up, and I really wanted to tell you—speak to you—in person. I wanted to see you,"

"It's okay, I get it. I'm sorry too, for leaving so abrupt and ignoring you. That was wrong of me to do," you were feeling guilty about what you did earlier, letting your emotions get the best of you and neglecting Jay.

"I understand, don't worry. Are you feeling okay? I didn't expect that to happen, I'm sorry,"

"Don't apologise, it's not on you," you brushed away the strand of hair that constantly fell onto your face, occasionally avoiding his stare. "And I don't know. I don't know how or what to feel,"

He frowned. "Tell me, tell me what's on your mind,"

"Jay, what if this was all a bad choice? You're you, and I'm … me. You're the golden boy, everyone wants you! Now they're talking behind our backs and all I do is hear rumours that aren't true, names being called …"

"It's not a bad choice, Y/N! I want you … so much. No one else compares. Can't you see that?" Jay moved closer to you, his hands now on both your shoulders. "Don't push me away now,"

Jay was taking his chance, and you thought it was a big mistake, but he doesn’t. It might blow up in his pretty face, and you didn’t tell him straight on to do it anyway, yet you knew he was going to and he wasn’t going to care what others think.

"I could never," you shook your head, welcoming his embrace as he pulled you in, and before you knew it, the tears you held in all day started streaming down your cheeks.

He held you there on the pavement as you broke down in his arms, his hold on you never once loosened. There that night, under the starry sky and illuminating street lights was a connection and trust formed unknowingly between you and him, love that blossomed like a flower in spring. 

"Gosh, I probably look stupid right now crying," you chuckled, pushing yourself slightly off of him to glance at his face. 

"You look pretty, gorgeous to me," his thumb travelled to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that remained. 

"I shouldn't have said that … us being a bad choice," you said quietly, cursing internally that you've even doubted it in the first place. "I trust you, Jay, I do,"

"Thank you," his hand travelled down to hold onto yours, a smile ever so soft. "We'll go at your pace. Whenever you're ready,"

"Whenever I'm ready." you repeated, unable to stop yourself from smiling either.

Jay knew he was already in deep, experiencing feelings he's never felt before in his eighteen years of life, but seeing you then, made him realise maybe young love was something to believe in. For once, he had a love to fight for. 

Jay was true to his words. He, in fact, did throw a party at his place. But what he didn't tell you was the cleaning up, and boy, was it a headache.

Once everyone had filed out a little after midnight, it was only you and Jay left. It was peaceful. In an empty house that had music blasting in the background, you and Jay each struggled to pick up all the rubbish strewn. You liked this. You like him.

It might've taken a while, but eventually you had the place cleaned, or at least, rubbish-less. There was probably more deep cleaning needed (that was for the next day to worry about). However, for now, it was finally just the two of you, and a whole lot of space with nothing to do.

"Wanna go for a dip?"

"Now?" You glanced at the clock, then back at Jay, who was trying to convince you with his starry eyes and nodding his head like an overly enthusiastic puppy. "Fine."

You didn't even know why you agreed to it. It was a lucky decision you brought an extra pair of everything since you were staying over. 

Jay was already in the pool, floating around when you walked out. The light coming from the pool was the only thing providing light. Blue reflection and wet messy hair made Jay increasingly dreamy, till the point where you stood there for a bit too long and he had to call for you.

"Coming!" You huffed, but the moment you reached the edge of the pool, you found yourself stuck and feeling nervous. 

The sight of Jay's bare front and your lack of clothing was nerve wracking to even think about. Your mind was in a fuzz even as you accepted his hand and let him pull you in, the cool water invading your senses. 

His arms came to wrap around your waist, the only thing you could hold for support was his bicep, so that was what you reached for. Jay didn't mind, he only held you tighter, a conspiring glare glazed over his eyes.

"Hey," he tilted his head, gaze travelling all over your features. You were close, very close. It was almost as if you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.

"Hi," you whispered back. Your hand was on its own journey, absentmindedly moving to his shoulder.

You should be dying out of anxiety by now, or even freak the fuck out, yet, you successfully kept your composure, in front of a hot man. Hooray!

"How's the water? I swear it's clean. I gated it off before the party,"

You laughed, remembering how Jake was so insistent on keeping the pool part of the party. He claimed that a pool party was way cooler than just a regular party. Jay was not convinced.

"It's nice. Chilly," 

Jay nodded for a bit, pursing his lips, thinking for a beat. "I'm glad you were here today,"

"Why?"

"I just like having you here, that's all,"

"You're so cheesy, it's annoying," you joked lightheartedly, knowing you secretly enjoyed this side of him.

"Whatever, you tolerate it anyway,"

He was right, you did. Over the few months, you've grown to memorise and remember every part of Jay. His habits, his likings, et cetera. It was crazy how your relationship grew with time, but the much crazier part was the fact that you two had not gone official yet.

"Against my will,"

"That's a lie,"

"Whatever you say," you said in a sing-song tone, which only made Jay roll his eyes, reaching up to pinch your cheek. 

His gaze never left yours, not even once. It was trained on you, always had been and always will be. The eventual silence got to you, and it was just the distant noise of the water that filled the air.

It was one of those moments where you think 'was this real'. Spoiler: it was. He was testing the waters, you could tell, and you let him. 

Jay inched a little closer, eyes flickering between you and your lips. It was obvious that he was nervous from the shaky breath and wavering confidence, but it only made you more relieved. 

You let out a breath, meeting his lips halfway. At first, he was shocked, you were too, but for different reasons. Kissing him was a breath of fresh air. His lips moved against yours naturally as if it was his first instinct, like he has been waiting for this for ages, which was not entirely wrong. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss and you swore you felt yourself imploding.

The moment you two finally pulled away to catch your breath, you could only stare at him and hold onto him tighter as if you were afraid he might not be real. Jay chased after your lips, pressing haste pecks and smiling into every one of them. It was infectious, everything about him was and it had you intoxicated. 

You realised at that second that you’d be willing to go against the world for him if you had to. Even if someone called you a ‘slut’ again, maybe it’d be worth it for once, and you knew he’d always be right there to defend you.

“I'm ready,”

“Hm?” he was still in a haze, eyes staring back at you with more than love in them.

“I’m ready to be yours, Jay, I’m serious,”

“You are?”

He has never been so relieved and happy leading up till that moment, just having you in his arms was about to make him burst. All he needed was to see you nod and watch your lips mouthing ‘yes’ as a confirmation before lifting you up, arms tight around you. 

Under the moonlit swimming pool, you’ve never been happier.

The night might’ve already ended for others, but to you and Jay, it was still ongoing, and you wished for it to not end. So, there you were, in his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he lay beside you. There was barely any space between you and him, his hand brushed against yours from time to time, neither of you dared to move from your original position. 

Half asleep, you were taking your time to do something. You took the chance to move your hand closer and gently made contact with his. It didn’t even take a beat for him to lace his fingers with yours, his grip ever so firm, calloused skin against yours. You could tell Jay was equally drifting in and out of sleep as you were, mind in a haze but awake enough to comprehend that you were next to him and not a figment of his imagination.

“I’m in love with you,” 

It was faint, almost a whisper, but a mumble that was audible came from Jay. You turned your head to look at him, even under the dim lights, you were able to see that smile from him. The one that always made him look like a lovesick fool, that his friend would claim he’d have whenever he talked about you; it was a smile only reserved for you, and you were the cause of it too.

“Goodnight,” he mumbled out, eyes remained shut, but the smile stayed. 

“Goodnight.” 

There in the bed slept two young lovers, a fresh love that was unbreakable that connected the two of you together, all of it was fated. From the clinic to now, it might’ve started at the wrong place but it surely was at the right time, and you were glad to be next to him, hand in hand, anticipating what the future had in store for you two. 

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey @shinrjj @kgneptun @ilovegyuvin @hyunniesvlog

#enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfics #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #enhypen soft hours #enhypen smau #enhypen x reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen drabbles #enhypen headcanons #jay scenarios #jay x reader #jay enhypen #jay imagines #enhypen jay #enhypen jay x you #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen jay imagines #enhypen jay park #park jong seong imagines #park jongseong #jay headcanons #enhypen jay drabbles #heeseung #lee heeseung #heeseung scenarios #heeseung fanfic #heeseung imagines

[marielschism]

Please do talk about the Marquis, all plot bunnies, how an eventual relationship with him would turn out. Any thoughts are most anticipated! 👀

FR?????????????? okay!

so i'm currently working on patron of the arts, a marquis de gramont x artist!reader fic where he is an art patron/cultural sugar daddy who is horrendously down bad for you, an artist in their flop era. i'm making an hc post for it over at my writing sideblog [@marielserif] so if anyone's interested 👀 i'll post it some time next week!

pairing: marquis de gramont x reader note: i think i made him unbearably ooc. whatever warnings: some mature themes/content; unedited; not an entirely healthy relationship (vincent has issues!!!!!!)

general relationship hcs

side note: these hcs operate under the assumption that the reader is unaware of his work.

i am deeply fascinated by yandere stuff, so every time i think of marquis de gramont, i can't help but sprinkle a bit of obsessive yearning on his part (because i honestly think he's the type to do so! he chased john wick all over the world! that should be me!). he is ruthless, ambitious, and determined, and i think this, too, translates into how he deals with his relationships.

i think that he's the type to fall hard for someone, but is also the type to deny the feeling initially, trying to stamp it out of his brain as hard as he can, constantly pretending that he is unaffected by you. he does not need you. he wants you. he has lived through most of his life without your presence, surely he can live through more.

his dedication to denying his feelings leads him into a great number of sticky situations: perhaps he dismisses you a bit too much, and it puts a significant strain on your relationship. he might even end up with you hating him.

he is used to being feared. he is used to being hunted. but he will never get used to the feeling of your hatred, so that could easily force him to act on his feelings before he makes things worse. it is a wake up call for him: he does not want to lose you because of his own pride.

good for you!

when the marquis is in it, good god, he is in it.

i think that marquis de gramont is an incredibly selfish man. if he loves you, you become an extension of himself — and in turn, he will ensure your safety and your joy. you deserve it. you're his.

he's a patron of the arts — he'll get along with you better if you have some appreciation for art and culture. your conversations with him will be longer, too, and sometimes more heated. vincent is very opinionated, and he'll defend his opinions to the death. he'll take you to museums, renting out entire scenic cultural hotspots just for you (and him) to enjoy at your own pace. he is prone to over-explaining when he is excited, so expect that you'll be doing a lot of listening.

if he senses that you're actually listening to him and he's feeling particularly generous, he'll reward you. you know what that entails.

there are times where you're feeling tired, and you're just not in the mood to listen to him ramble about his least favorite painting in the musee d'orsay. he does not fault you for it, but you feel the mild disappointment radiating off him in waves. you'll have to...make it up to him somehow.

he'll appreciate it very much.

anyway, vincent will take you to the ballet, dress you in the finest of things, and take you to the swankiest of establishments. you deserve nothing but the best.

if you inform him that you are uncomfortable with being spoiled like this, he will try to tone it down a little. the code word here is try. he will go back to sending you swarovski-embellished fountain pens in two weeks.

despite this, he's not above accompanying you to places like gas stations or grocery stores. sure, he'll take at least three bodyguards with him to ensure your safety, but he'll be there for you. he's capable of being normal!

(forgot to mention that vincent de gramont is territorial and overprotective at times. what's the use of all of his power if he can't use it protect the one he loves?)

(his brand of protection can feel almost like a prison at times. you'll have to clearly communicate with him about what you want, and you have to be very firm with him if you don't want to feel like you're a bird in a gilded cage. you have to make sure that he knows you won't just take it.)

(you need a backbone to love him. that's the truth of it all.)

vincent is also touch-starved, though he denies this constantly.

he can be an incredibly greedy kisser. he kisses you like he's starving, and he'll hold you like you'll turn into dust if he lets go.

he can be gentle, too — easy does it, and he takes it as slow as you want. languid, lazy, like you have all of the time in the world.

he's also a horrific tease. he's a smug bastard. he'll do everything except kiss you — he'll bite your earlobe, let his lips travel to your pulse, and kiss the corners of your lips. when you whine, he'll pull away with that smirk of his, and leave you to your racing heart. you're flustered as hell, and he looks unaffected by it.

(it's a lot harder for him to keep his composure if you're the one teasing him.)

he reaches out for you in his sleep, even if he is alone. a tired vincent will always reach out for you, no matter what stage of sleep he's in. in his sleep, he'll end up wrapping himself around your entire body like a boa constrictor no matter your size. one time, he fell asleep on top of you, and you had to elbow him awake because he was suffocating you.

(he owns a weighted blanket for when you're not around.)

if you play with vincent's hair, he will complain about you messing up the handiwork of his treasured coiffeur, but he won't say a word. when you pull your hands off his hair, he'll actually whine, and place your hands back. you have to clear your schedule if you want to play with his hair; he will not let you out of his presence until he's dead asleep.

if you really want to see a very stressed vincent, you can deny him your touch for weeks on end. but why would you do that? 😊

he's prone to taking drastic actions to get what he wants. a desperate vincent de gramont is someone you do not want to meet; a desperate vincent de gramont gets results.

so god help those who will try to take you from him.

plot bunnies

i really need to finish this because i have a 7-page paper due in 42 hours

i desperately wanted to write a ballet dancer!reader x patron!marquis de gramont instead of an artist!reader but im going to be completely honest with you i have zero knowledge of the world of ballet and i would NOT be able to do the idea justice.

(your rival dancer goes missing because of your patron. you investigate. things do not go well.)

also another plot bunny: leverage!reader

the marquis keeps an eye on you as leverage over your father, who is under his employ. think caine and his daughter.

he threatens your safety to keep your father in line constantly — but he's grown fond of you, strangely. you have a harmless hobby. it is soothing to watch you work. he is not going to hurt you.

(vincent even has his men protect you from harm. their presence in the area deter would-be muggers. you do not know this.)

at one point, your father grows stubborn, and vincent has to take a very drastic measure to ensure his cooperation.

he kidnaps you. of course he does.

strange things happen.

assistant!reader! you are his faithful assistant, and you get hurt in the line of duty. oh noooo. what happens next??? :OOO

#marquis de gramont x reader #jw4 #marquis vincent de gramont #hello anon thank u for sending me this ask 😭 i desperately want to talk about him more #you unlocked something in me #anon #so little MVDG fics im gnna be sick. i had to add to it! i had to! #even if i am terrible at writing! #vincentposting

[hatredmadeofgold]

I'm a terrible person with words, but here I go. (using a translator, my English is a little shit when it comes to writing and a little bit when it comes to pronunciation, ha!)

I would like to say with ALL my heart that I love your work and the writing in "Sing to Me", my heartbeat even accelerates when I remember the existence of this work of art and how wonderful the sensation was, the euphoric feeling of read each chapter and see all the care and dedication put into it. I have immense affection for Raiden, Sam (and Monsoon :)). Seeing how complex they are in the story brings me immense satisfaction, and I just wish all the positive recognition for you, it's impeccable.

(There's a lot I'd like to express, like my hyperfocus- but hey, I'm a terrible person at showing appreciation and affection, I hope you got the message anyway :))

hugs and kisses from a Brazilian! 🇧🇷❤

Oi, não se preocupa! Não sou falante nativo, mas entendi muito bem. Da próxima vez, você pode me escrever em pt-br (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Thank you so much!! I am really happy to know that you enjoy my work 💕 Honestly, every time someone tells me that they enjoy Sing to Me so much, I am getting really happy. This fic means a lot to me and gives me lots of strength and stability, although on the outside it might look that I am not doing much for it for the past year (I do, it's just background work that I can't show T_T massive spoilers and so on). But I mean, I kept saying that each time somebody came to my inbox about it for the last months.

And I am so glad to know that you're feeling like this for each chapter you've read so far! This fic in itself is really complex and long, I could give you a rough estimate of around ~100 Chapters for the main story (Those would be just arc 1-3, the series, however, has 6 arcs in total excluding the 2 AUs). Sooo... let me say, you've got a lot to look forward to, I suppose :3

Also I hope that you'll be curious about the revisions too. Chapter 5 and 6 will have a darker tone than their current version that is on AO3 at the moment, but also will be much better in quality. Chapter 6 will have major changes I think, especially the second halve of it. I am all giddy and excited myself whenever I think about all the plans I have for this story. The drama, the comedy, the (bitter-) sweetness, but also the chaos, the pain and the darker parts of this fic. I wish I could go on a ramble but it's so many spoilers lmao And I don't want to take that away from my readers. If anything, I might drop a few essays about Raiden and Sam that I've got on my to-do list at some point, that in some cases will directly tie to Sing to Me as well.

The series also goes in great detail about Sam's past and who he is as a person because I was a bit dissatisfied with how most fics for this pairing at least that I've read didn't come up with much for his past (but I still liked all of them regardless), hence I went a little bit insane about him. To the point that Sam is technically my OC now (according to my beta reader) lmao

Jsyk, this is my current graph view of my Obsidian vault for Sing to Me and all the dots that connect to him:

My vault is an absolute mess still tbh because the program is a bit overwhelming when you don't know where to start, so this is far from how complex this fic actually even is.

What I can tell you pretty much spoiler free is that the series is complex because timeline wise, it starts in the year of 2001 and ends (technically) in the year of 2026. I say technically because ARC3.5: The War in Heaven goes a bit crazy with science fiction elements and time is... let's say, "relative". The main fic spans from 2019 until 2023 btw.

The prequel (ARC0: I Come with Knives) is entirely about Sam's past, from his POV entirely, and a collaboration with @thatthereneverwas since he originally requested me to write it. Basically adding more Sam lore that we definitely need :3

Please don't hesitate to come to my inbox or DMs if you want to chat about Sing to Me, samuraiden or just Sam or Raiden with me! I don't bite :] Monsoon is also my favourite from the Winds of Destruction aside from Sam, so I get you! I've been thinking of maybe including him in the fic as well, but it's uncertain how so yet, and if it will just be a flashback of some sort 🤔 But I take notes as I go, we'll see :3

Beijos pra você também 💞

#polastrieve #ask #samuraiden #Jetstream Sam #Raiden #MGR #my writing #Sing to Me

[iloveyou-writers]

i have a writer friend and we write for the same fandom but i feel awful for being envious of her. my friend doesnt even have to try hard for ppl to like and comment on her fics + everyone says her fics are always banger and rec-worthy. meanwhile, i feel like mine are flops or barely interesting enough for anyone to want to talk about it. even when i write for myself, i feel stupid posting only to see that hardly anyone feels the same excitement as i do for my own fics.

I hope you know that I'm not trying to ignore your ask. I know you sent this a bit ago and I've been posting and answering other asks since then, but jealousy is such a difficult and delicate topic that I wanted to be sure to reach out back at a time I'm able to fully respond and give this ask the attention and heartfelt answer it deserves.

So!

Hello and thank you for reaching out. I am proud of you for being able to admit this and reach out about it. It is really difficult to see someone that seems like they put no effort into something or like their talent is just effortless and yet you have to work hard for it.

One big piece of advice that's helped me with this, as someone who has previously (and tbh on occasion still does) struggled with this issue, is remembering: I don't know their entire journey. They may have been working toward becoming this good that it seems effortless but only because of years of dedicated attempts at perfecting and honing their skill. They may have been working on this for HOURS but only claim it was a short time to make themselves feel better. Frankly, people can claim anything they want online and we just don't know.

You also have to remember: their talents may not necessarily equal yours. I don't necessarily like to encourage others to compare, but if you're going to anyway, just remember that every time you notice something they're better at than you: 1 you have talents they don't, even if they're not writing-related and 2 you may think they're better at it but they may think you're better. Talent can be such a subjective thing to talk about, especially when it comes to art, so just remember that while you're noticing how effortlessly amazing they are, they may be recognizing your dedication and talents that you don't notice and may admire you for that. Or others may.

One final thing I'd like to leave you with, that I know can be hard to appreciate for people that struggle to feel seen, but that helped me is remember that a lot of people on this site are really nervous & shy. Tons of us are mentally ill, me included. Tons of us have social anxiety, me included. Many of us struggle to reach out to others on here, past me included. Being shy will make it so that your viewer/reader base may be reading and adoring your writing but unable to say so and maybe not wanting to bring attention to themselves so they don't reblog.

I know this can be more discouraging than encouraging for some writers, but I hope you find encouragement from it and not discouragement.

Anyway, it's almost 4am and I work today. :) I hope this helps and I hope you find a new vigor to write and love your writing for what it is. Don't let envy cause you to stop writing and stop appreciating your own talents. You have them, even if it doesn't feel like they're being recognized.

I wish you well and happy writing, my friend.

With much admiration,

Hannah aka iloveyou-writers

#asks #anonymous #on: creative envy

[sweepseven]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Another post in a seemingly unending series of posts in which I talk about writing to make me feel like I've accomplished any actual writing. Results so far are middling.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

53! How and when?? (The answer is "Kà and a pandemic.")

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

228,456

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Cirque du Soleil at the moment, but a long running rp is soaking up the majority of my creative thoughts just now. That's its own whole thing with a blog and fics and AUs upon AUs.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wing Dust (Miraculous Ladybug, T, perpetually bemused that I wrote this in the first place and yet here it is at number one)

Downpour (Mad Max Fury Road, G, my first for a fandom that did so much for me as an author)

War Song (Mad Max Fury Road, T, strong contender for favorite fic I've ever written)

Idle in Neutral (Mad Max Fury Road, G, I forget I wrote this one all the time and whenever I get kudos for it I'm like whom??? I love that it has a life all its own.)

Mantle (Mad Max Fury Road, G, another one I continually forget about lol)

That's the curse of writing for tiny fandoms! The ones I have loved most, that have mangled my brain for months on end are destined to have like a dozen readers total. On the other hand it's very gratifying to know I'm writing for a small handful of people extra extra psyched to find content. And in the meantime I have these, many of which I've let myself forget, that have found their audience anyway. It's a very rewarding feeling, like I could make the effort, move on, and still leave people happy years later.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Most times yes!! And I'm so so lucky to get the most thoughtful comments of all on my most niche fics. Makes it all more than worth it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Walkabout and I love it. Cirque du Soleil Kà, T.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Tea Series by a mile. Didn't know I had it in me until pushed by @studiokawaii , and I'm so glad they did. Cirque du Soleil Kà, T.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly so few people are aware of them that it's not really a risk. What is hugely embarrassing is the confirmed knowledge that Cirque artists know about and have read some of them. But there's nothing I can do about that, lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! Somehow I feel like I'm always writing it, and then I look at my total body of work and am like "...where is all of it." Historically it was mostly M/M, but Kà got me actually writing F/M for the first time. Most common themes are experience vs. inexperience and tense power dynamics. I'd love to write more dub con.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Only ever one. Decree, another for Mad Max Fury Road, in which the Vuvalini are each granted one single potentially worldshaping wish à la Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I know why people don't click on it, but I'm fond of it!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and tbh I can't imagine anyone would bother.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I'd be open to it if anyone cared to take on the project! I love translated fics. What a nice thing to do, granting someone else's work the opportunity for new eyes.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but again @studiokawaii and I have had some great fic/art collaboration in the past couple years with inspiration coming from both directions.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Snape/Harry. I never talk about it, I've never written it myself (I think?? maybe in high school I did), but honestly it's been so long that I think there's no unseating it now. The amount of care, dedication, creativity, and talent coming from that group, even after so long, is truly unique and remarkable. All time favorite ship to write has been Counselor's Son/Twin Sister by a landslide.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It pains me, but I think I'm kidding myself if I try to claim The Shape of Things To Come doesn't qualify. I love the idea, I know exactly where I want it to go, but something about the enormity of the ground that needs to be covered in order to get there has spooked me.

I also have two highly embarrassing WIPs - one for Shadow & Bone and another for fucking Teen Titans - that I doubt will ever be finished. I just adore both ideas and it's fun thinking they've at least taken some kind of shape somewhere, even if they never make it out into the world.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Creating believable characterization and distinctive voices from very sparse source material. At least that's what I've been told, which I take as an immense compliment. I also think I write tension rather well, whether it be sexual, conflicting emotions, or threatening hostility.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well right now my ability to finish anything feels pretty fuckin weak. I struggle with action scenes, like physical fights or scenes in which a lot is going on in multiple places at once. Hitting a natural rhythm with them is very difficult for me. Pacing for longer fics doesn't come easily to me either, and I always worry if my longer work reads like a bulleted list of stuff I knew needed to happen rather than an actual story with a true and natural flow. That's part of what's bogging me down with Shape of Things.

I also love commas too much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends. You can't just throw it in there imo - it's a great opportunity for mindful characterization and shouldn't be treated like checking a box, or worse, a reminder to your audience that the source material doesn't match the language you're writing in. I'm not multilingual so the most you're likely to see from me are vague hints at certain dialects and accents in Kà, for instance, since they're not speaking any real language anyway.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Titans. It's still out there somewhere, likely a somewhat embarrassing blip on the radar of some long forgotten LJ community. I got some early encouragement there that put me where I am today. Nurture and welcome new writers, people!!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Borderline Suspect. I put so much into it. It was a real milestone fic for me, unlike anything I'd ever written before, and it stands so apart in my memory that I just can't choose any other. At the time I thought it was everything I could possibly want to say about Ka and CS/TS, but when it was through I found myself more motivated and inspired than ever.

Some of the most valuable and rewarding feedback I've ever gotten came from this fic, and the intensity of the response, however contained by the size of the fandom, has made me feel incredibly lucky. People came out of nowhere to talk to me about it, send art for it, push me through writing lulls with comments that turned entire days around. I made new friends because of it. I don't see myself writing anything quite like it ever again. Even if I did, I couldn't dream of a more gratifying response. Cirque du Soleil Kà, E.

#these were funnnn other writers pls pick up

[bangingoutthetunes]

common genshin fandom L

the quality for genshin x reader fics has seriously fucking declined within the past year or so. some authors that are making it big today wouldn’t have had a winter’s chance in hell to gain popularity back when people really had to try and when writing was an art form. this is who the post is about. It makes sense when ppl are starting out and they aren't the best at writing, especially within your first couple of weeks. I'm not really aiming to drag those people with this rant.

unfortunately, i’ve had the displeasure of reading the most god-awful shit with my own two eyes. it takes every fiber of my being to not claw my corneas out. there’s no point in even discussing who these authors are, though, because they’re popular and have their interactions and their readers just eat that shit up! it’s flabbergasting! 

the truth of the matter is that, fortunately, i find comfort in knowing that i am not the only author/fic reader that has noticed this heavy decline in quality. i don’t covet the popularity these so-called ‘authors’ have garnered, no; i find peace in knowing that i have the interactions i do and that my readers can thoroughly enjoy my works without wincing every minute or so. for every three mid fics there is one saving grace in any given tag, and i commend those authors that truly dedicate themselves to producing a beautiful piece. those authors are what inspire me to keep going and try as hard as i do with what i write. 

i suppose this is a combination of thoughts i’ve been having for months now; see this(1),  this(2),  this(3),  this(4), and this(5) and this(6). 

i have to admit that it really is a privilege to be able to say that something like this is the issue that is currently irritating me the most (truly, it's the only thing irritating me at all). there are people dying and starving out there that would call me an ingrate for complaining about awful quality of content on tumblr dot com and archive of our own dot org. they’re probably right, but this is my shitpost blog and i can post literally whatever the fuck i want to on here anyways. by all means, dont agree with me! no one will force you to do such a thing, and im not interested in starting any drama w anyone. it's beyond me and i have better things to do. if this post makes you upset and foam at the mouth, ask yourself why that is.

by popular demand i made a post making suggestions on how to improve your writing. and, no, you can have a life aside from writing and still improve. It really doesn't take writing religiously to be good at it. find it here. i write sparingly because i want to make sure that whatever i do write has love crafted into it. people have lives aside from the art they make.

i'm not going to retract anything I said for the sake of being nice or avoiding hurting people's feelings. I say things the way i see them and couldn't care less if you think im an asshole because you disagree with my methods. Ik everyone starts somewhere but you don't need to baby anyone into realizing that they need improvement. these are all just pixels on a screen in a floating rock in space, anyways.

#genshin x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact #just found out tumblr blaze is a thing #i wouldn't be surprised if some of these authors paid for their initial engagement

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

🍷 Do you drink and write?

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

sorry about all of them dszjhgaier you don't have to answer all of 'em!

KDJFKSDJFKDJ WHY LMAO

decided to single-handedly complete this ask game 😭

💖🏆🦅 have been answered here!

i'd link the "send me more asks" thing but i think all the questions have now been answered ksjdflsdkjf

✨ give you and your writing a compliment. go on now. you know you deserve it 😉

ehhhhhh i can write emotions well?? mostly with angst i think, like the chaotic thoughts and physical sensations that happen during angsty scenes IDK I'M NOT GOOD AT AFFIRMING MYSELF ;-;

🎶 do you listen to music while you write? what song have you been playing on loop lately?

depends on my focus level! for a while i had @chaotic-on-main generate a fluff playlist for me as i was writing the cuter parts of matcha. sometimes if i'm angsty i'll listen to music. a recent listen has been this:

🛠 what tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

i used zenwriter for a while! but now i've just moved onto using google docs because adhd makes it so that i can't get myself to write if i dedicate my night to writing, but i can get myself to start writing if i'm doing it while gaming 👁️👄👁️

⛔ do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

SO MANY MY GOD i have a canonverse one for aot that was the first thing i wrote, but i scrapped it because i was eh about the story and characterization. i published some excerpts but the actual fic is just kinda sitting in my folder all lonely

🙋‍♀️ do any irl people know you write fanfic?

some do! i've kinda realized that fanfic is like the Thing™ that i do. what do i do on weekends when i'm letting off steam? i write. it's like the one area where i dont rly feel like an imposter if that makes sense??? anyways i say i like writing and if they ask i will say fanfiction lol. there are definitely some irls i'm more willing to share to than others though

🍦 what's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

hmmm including unpublished? honestly probably still matcha because it's like a modern au and isn't surrounded by death and angst like most of my fics are skdjfksjdf

🍷 do you drink and write?

hmmm i dont think i've written after drinking, but definitely after smoking!

🍆 do you write the spicy stuffs? if so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

OH YOU BET, although reminder of the fun fact that i did NOT intend to publish smut at ALL when i first revived this blog and now look where i am dkflsdkjf i have a bunch of short drabbles that have gained traction because we're all horny with short attention spans djjksjfks if we're strictly talking about oneshots, i think it would be this one if we're including longer drabbles, i'd say this one

🌞 do you have a preferred time of day to write?

ehhh, writing at night is most convenient? i'll do it whenever the writing juices hit tho. i do like writing late into the night (like 12am-3am) because i can focus the best, but i can't stay up that late most nights u.u

💌 how do you feel about comments and feedback?

i love comments! feedback less so. do not provide unless i ask. any improvements in writing style will come from me. providing unsolicited feedback is one of the fastest way to getting blocked. i'm already disengaging from conversations regarding word count or use of y/n, so this entire topic makes me all skdfjkdsjf even if it doesn't directly involve my writing

💲 would you ever open commissions?

ehhhh if people are ever willing to pay? i feel like fanfic is just so available everywhere that people aren't really willing to pay for it? i've opened up tips a few years ago and nothing happened so i'm just eh about it

🎨 how do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I WOULD LOVE IT but do not expect it lol

🤗 what advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

write to your heart's content and if anyone shames you for being cringey, having a mary sue oc/reader, writing ooc or whatever, i would gladly unkindly tell them to fuck off for you 💕 but honestly, just write! you'll form your own style and process and it's the most organic way to begin writing. it'll teach you to write and pour your soul into it for YOU and not because you're trying to live up to anyone's expectations

😬 which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

OH MY GOD i wrote a mini-fic for WoW and it's literally in a folder in my google docs titled "things we can forget that exist"

📚 would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

eh. publishing it means opening it up for critique and having tangible expectations. so probably not.

⌛ how long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

depends on the adhd gremlin. can range from 1-2 hours all the way up to like 3 weeks or a few months for the oneshots i keep forgetting about ksdjfksdjf

🤯 what's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc)?

hmm...maybe action? i love writing battle scenes, but idk if they're written well enough for someone that's freshly reading to know what the fuck is going on lol

💔 is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

anything on my angst list makes me want to cry or resulted from me crying LMAO there is a hurt/comfort one that i wrote on a topic i struggle with a lot and will occasionally summon the feels when i reread it but it ends happy sooooo

💥 how do you feel about criticism?

refer back to what i said about getting feedback. do not provide unless i ask. if i know you, i'll ask you to stop. if i do not know you, then you will be blocked.

🤭 do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

i think i use "pls i need him so bad" a lot LMAO because anything i produce quickly is motivated by me desperately needing the affection of levi ackerman and his cock

🥰 how do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

i love questions! i love it when people are screaming in the comments over cliffhangers! or even some that DM me with reactions and i'm just like 🤭 the entire time

#my god this was long LMAO #cw: weed #ask games #moots #moots.minx #kat chats

[ethereal-engene]

Bringing in the good luck with junhao

pairing: junhao x gn!reader (platonic) 

genre: fluff, non-idol!au, & slice of life // warnings: slight mentions of food & prop weapons (no blood or gore is in this)

summary: how I imagine junhao would be if they were lion dance performers & traditional chinese martial arts! // word count: ~600

note: I grew up watching Chinese lion dances & martial arts performances, and thought it’d be cool to write about it for JunHao! Another self-indulgent fic 😗

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

every event that they performed at was always fun

especially when minghao was the one in the front

minghao would play around with the children

trying his best not to scare them

actually both of them would do that

they know how it can seem scary for them, so they’ll put in their best effort to not seem scary

in terms of how, they do that?

I feel like they’ll pretend to play hide and seek or peek-a-boo with them

hiding behind whatever they can and wait for the children to find them

and whenever the kids feed them money, that’s when they’re the most playful

somewhat terrorizing them by looming over them and chasing them around 😭

they don’t do it a lot because they’re too fearful that it’ll scare the kids

they don’t do it a lot because they’re too fearful that it’ll scare the kids

and of course, whenever they’re doing stunts and actual performances is when they shine the most

because they’re both relatively agile and flexible, it allows them to pull off slightly advanced pieces

their skills are more useful when using lighter weapon props or no weapons at all

minghao to me seems like he’d be good at doing performances with the spear whereas jun is more skilled with using a staff

whenever they’re using weapons in their acts, they’re more focused on not messing up what they practiced and making sure that no one gets hurt

they care about people enjoying what they’re watching & therefore the quality of the performance must be great

while preparing for competitions, they find themselves stressing over it

you drop by to visit them as they practice bringing them food to eat

they look like they haven’t eaten all day…

to which when you find out that you were right

you slightly hit them for not taking care of themselves

and then apologizing to them

along with affirming them that they’ll do great as always

besides how can they do their best when they’re running on no fuel

you decide to watch them as they practice to ensure that they actually go home and rest

even after being friends with them for so long

their dedication to perfecting their craft is so inspiring

to be honest, you didn’t think that they’d end up doing this professionally

they have other side jobs but they love this one the most

on the day of the competition, you arrived them to watch them

come on, you gotta support your besties <3

shouting every time they land perfectly and telling them it’s okay when they don’t

they appreciate you coming to watch them every time

it makes them want to try harder and make you proud

jokes on them, you’ve always been proud of them but they don’t think it’s enough

anyhow, as you predicted, they placed 1st place!

screaming like crazy while running into their sweaty arms

“Y’all might have placed first place here today but y’all will always be number one in my heart for the best performers”

You continue with “Yah, now let’s go! My treat for winning today and stop doubting yourselves.” Followed with a small flick to their heads and you running away as they chase you

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

👁👄👁 ahaha I have no idea if this fic will do well but honestly it’s another fic that I wrote b/c I think it’s cute and I’ve gotta rep & show my love for my Chinese roots! 

After watching some clips of Jun and Minghao, they made me feel seen even if it was small things about Chinese culture that they talk about. Making me feel very soft 🥺  anyways... 

I hope you enjoyed reading this and please leave feedback through asks, reblogs with tags, or comments! 

signing off

- ash

#kflixnet #ficscafe #klibrary #k-radio! #underworldnet #caratwritersclub #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #minghao x reader #jun x reader #junhui x reader #junhao #seventeen headcanons #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagine #svt headcanons #ash and queue #the8 seventeen #jun seventeen #jun headcanons #the8 headcanons #minghao headcanons

[linashirou]

Ever since i saw the preview art for the HueyxLina fic i was really looking forward to it for a lot of reasons, i admire your dedication to oc x canon so so much and not a lot of people even dare to write Huey, much less in a romantic setting so this was a nice change in scenery. Although I'd suggest revising it a little further (for some spelling mistakes) i have a lot to say about the plot, i loved how we're initially pulled into Huey's ideal self in the 'illusion' setting. I thought it was going a bit too fast for the little time they had talking, but then it made sense, him daring to stand up for himself and trying to be more 'dominant' in this specifically crafted scenario to manipulate him. It's really in-character for him, that desire to have control over something (in this case Lina) no matter what, and him being granted that wish in that illusion, alongside with his neglected needs for love and attention... God, Huey, what have you gotten into! and don't get me started on the twist, it was incredibly creepy, of course, no story with Huey will ever end right, but the fact that he was essentially in love with a toddler... Puts another really cruel perspective into this, and I'm already getting some ideas on what this actually means for Lina (I don't buy that it was entirely Psycho Mantis fault, my theory is that Lina from the future had something to do with it somehow). Anyway, overall I liked it, dominant Huey isn't really my cup of tea but in here it was really fun to read since it gives another look at his psyche and his actual desires, looking forward to it in the future!!

Omg! Thanks, thanks a lot for your feedback about the fic! It means a lot for me. I just did some new grammar fixes, but sometimes it's hard to notice where my mistakes are. I'm trying to get someone to help me about that. And I feel really glad that the plot can feel interesting and intriguing. The second part will take a little more time, because the ending will link to my other fic "The Emmerich Curse" (my main fanfiction that is about Hal).

So yeah, I personally like the fact that the ending is kind of ambiguous, because you could see that Huey could be a victim... Or you could take as a consequence of his karma.

Again! Thanks you so much for giving your opinion. It helps me a lot to realize if I made the reader feel the things that I wanted to share 💞💞💞

[mickmundy]

Hello dutchie! I've re-read your fics multiple times now and now I want to write my own! I have to ask: do you have any writing tips or advice about fanfic in general? I enjoy your pacing but I have no clue how you manage to update every week. Cheers!

OH MY GOD EEEEE ;___; IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT MY FRIEND!! AND HIII ^_^ that's so awesome im so proud of you!!! hmm idk if i'm really a great person to get advice from, this is just stuff that works for me personally and my hectic irl schedule so just take it with a grain of salt!! ;-; <3 BUT i will gladly talk about it HEHE!! i'll actually just make an entire post about my writing process at some point because making long posts forces me to reflect and i'm overdue for a Self Reflection on how i write so! if/when i do that i'll link it back on this post heh ^_^ BUT ANYWAY!

i have a few Personal Rules about posting/writing fic that i must never break... and this is...:

feel free to break up your (longer) fic into parts. this prevents SO much burnout and gives you time to breathe between writing! if you're in it for the long haul like me, it's easy to get overwhelmed and feel like you're on a Crunch, which is never good! :'(

so i don't technically write a new chapter every week and post it on friday; i've had malus, for example, complete for a few months now! and so now it just "posts on a queue" where i just upload the next chapter every week! so for example, if malus is 21 chapters, at 1 chapter a week, that gives me 21 weeks (about 5 months) to write my next fic. that's a lot of time!

always finish the fic before you post it. this seems super unrealistic At First but i love the "arc/seasons/parts" style of posting, especially if it's long fics. nobody's saying you have to finish a 293849283498234 chapter fic in one day LOL but if you find that you're overwhelmed at the idea of writing Long Fics, then don't write one! write shorter parts that Combine and Create a long fic! :-) see what i mean? this is also an effective way to show time passing in your fic instead of just "~*~ two years later ~*~"-type of disclaimers.

chapters shouldn't be more than like... 3 google doc pages and paragraphs should be broken up. i like keeping my fic chapters short-ish so that they're easily digestible and force readers to Linger on the parts that i want them to. giant walls of text can sometimes put Huge Moments in your fics at the risk of getting lost!

let yourself sit on it for at least 2 days before you post it. do not read your own fic during the "sitting on it" time. let yourself back away from it and invite your mind to think about other things!! i've caught a LOT of my own mistakes or inconsistencies this way!

much easier said than done, but try not to let yourself get wrapped up in "the numbers" of posting (views, kudos, etc). obviously our goal as creatives is to get our work seen, but please remember to value yourself and your art above the numbers game! ;-; it literally took me a year (as of january lol) of constantly promoting my fics on twt (and later on here once i made an acct) before i found all of the amazing readers i have now! ^u^ and i wouldn't trade them for the world. i'd happily take 10 readers who comment and talk to me like a person over 100 hits/kudos or whatever!

that being said, don't be afraid to promote your fics. i felt annoying and stupid promoing mine but i'm ultimately so glad i did

there are probably others but i think these are my biggest ones (other than delving into like. tf2-specific "guides" i have for myself but i won't bore you with those). as far as tips for outlining or planning, i just have a channel in my gf and i's server dedicated to my fic that i post random snippet's i've written and want to include, random one-word concepts, like literally any time my brain has a Fic Related Thought i slap it in there. i'm also a huge fan of Linear/Traditional outlining too and do that with my more Complicated/Larger concepts that i want to execute in my fics so that i can stay consistent! :-)

ILYYY BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR FIC WRITING ENDEAVORS MY FRIEND! ^u^

#dutchfoolery #asks #anonymous #^v^

[violetryst]

I posted 124 times in 2022

That's 124 more posts than 2021!

33 posts created (27%)

91 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ashwii

@someoddmix

@iamthegodofdestruction

@trubblegumm

@eternalglitch

I tagged 76 of my posts in 2022

Only 39% of my posts had no tags

#rottmnt - 39 posts

#tmnt - 24 posts

#save rottmnt - 19 posts

#doodles - 14 posts

#not my art - 13 posts

#art - 10 posts

#rottmnt leo - 8 posts

#rottmnt fanart - 8 posts

#rise of the tmnt - 6 posts

#my art - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 81 characters

#i like their vibe it’s just the other brothers’ heads… and donnies tooth ☠️☠️☠️☠️

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I went to an 80s themed cafe and a life sized Mikey was just standing there with a tie dye shirt on…

72 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

For @trubblegumm’s DTIYS!!

The first is the finished version and the second is the version without the cool lighting etc :)

I’m really proud of this aaaaa—

158 notes - Posted December 24, 2022

#3

So the 2012 intro inspired me. One of my favorite versions of Mikey is 2012, I love his personality and I’m telling you we would be GREAT friends— and so I added that personality to my favorite Mikey look/design!

The pose was HEAVILY referenced, but I love the way this turned out anyway,

209 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#2

this fanfic is awesome, I’ve never been so dedicated to read one!! (I’m not much of a fic reader) can’t wait to see what happens next to my favorite set of turtles 😳

anyways here’s some angsty Fanart of Green Leo

244 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Doodles of the boys from @ashwii’s au

It literally has me on my knees king/queen your designs are so cute and pretty at the same time

I think it’s obvious which one I started with before getting the hang of it—

If you can’t it was Leo…

ALSO

idk if it’s a coincidence or not but Leo is the stars and there’s that one constellation/zodiac literally called Leo 🥺🥺🥺

WAS THIS ON PURPOSE PLS-

278 notes - Posted December 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[cherokeegal1975]

Still trying to get attention for my work. This was one of the most difficult projects I've ever done. So, partly out of boredom and partly because I believe in my work even no one else does, I'm posting this again.

This audiobook is only available on YouTube. I was going to submit it to Audible, but I realized that it's not the same high quality as the work I've heard done by professional readers. I'm not saying it's terrible either. It's also available on Amazon as a Kindle ebook or as a paperback book. This cover art you see here is available on the Kindle book and would have been on the paperback, but for some reason, Amazon wouldn't let me use it. The cover illustration is by Alicia Luma, a.k.a Noonibean on DeviantART. I'll forever appreciate her help. The cover art for the paperback book is by myself...not as fancy, but serviceable.

Here is the synopsis of my novel:

Johnathan was a family man and cargo runner and had no interest in getting entangled in royal affairs. So, when a deposed and fleeing princess arranges a meeting to give him a package to keep safe, he was reluctant to take it. But she convinced him to hide the royal seal until she needed it back despite himself. Unknown to him, she had also tricked him into carrying another precious cargo.

When Johnathan learns of the trick, he’s furious. When he confronts the princess about it, he learns it’ll be impossible to return it before it’s appointed time. Then she tells him of an unbreakable bond between them and ends a long search for someone he had lost as a boy. So, instead of revenge, he does what he can to help her. He must also avoid capture; the King would execute Johnathan if he ever found out about his secret cargo.

================================================

I actually hate most mpregs. I've only found 1% to even be close to passible, much less any good. But the online dumpster dive for literary fan fics and original works did give me some insight on the minds of the writers. I really did give them a fair chance. Used what I learned to create these characters that were in this one chapter. Gay werewolves, before I knew they were a popular theme. Not all of them were gay, just the pack leaders.

I even have some illustrations I did...except for the two colored ones, those are by Alicia Luma:

I don't know when or if I'll ever come back to drawing illustrations for my novels. I don't have a lot of time and lately, I've had a horrible time trying to stay awake as I'm drawing. So, I'm taking a break from art until I can stay awake. I was going to put my own work into an illustrated version of my novel, but I think I'd rather let someone else more skilled and can dedicate more time and energy into the project than I can to do that job if I can ever afford to hire someone. Illustrating a book is a huge undertaking and in the beginning I didn't realize how much until I finished the fourth drawing! Oh well, I learned.

I think it'll be fun to try when I can finally get back to it.

So, buy my book if you want. If not, I'd be happy to hear what you think. This book has been one fun experiment to see if I could turn what most people make into a plot stinker into a good story as a whole. One of the rare people that did write me about this novel said this was a like a wholesome movie. I rather liked that.

Anyway, the more feedback the better. I treasure the rare ones I do get...except for the one that translated out from a language I don't recognize as, "This is shit." I won't forget it, but I don't think it's worth my time an energy to even bother to be upset about it. I still believe in my work's potential. I'm just super curious as to what other people think about it.

#cherokeegal1975 #digital art #youtube #mpreg #Youtube

[catman-draws]

Been far too long since I’ve drawn my girl

#taz #taz balance #taz lup #lup #lup taaco #catman draws #here's a fun game! #did I forget how to draw Lup or did my style change!? #Anyway here's some art dedicated to my fic readers #I promise I'll get that update out asap #taz fanart #lup fan #taz au #her turn

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Last Part

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff Warnings: Strong language Word Count: 3.4k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | You are on the Last Part

A/N: And so it comes to an end, and let me tell you guys, I am not okay 😔 This is going to be a bit of a longer A/N, so please bear with me. If you’d like to get straight to the story, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND, so feel free to click Keep Reading!

Lowkey, I had a bit of a meltdown as I typed the final words on this fic because I hadn’t realized how attached I had grown to the characters. This is the first time I wrote three different chapter openers before deciding on one, because I simply couldn’t believe it was goodbye after this.

These mofos had constantly been on my mind for the past two months and a half. I would spend most days thinking about where to take them and then bringing them to life at night, after my entire day was over. When I wasn’t writing, I’d make little notes about thoughts I had into the night about them so that I wouldn’t forget them when morning comes. 

This was my first ever (and as of right now, my only) chaptered fic. I had no idea parting with it would be as emotional as it was. When I think back to when I first received the prompt for this, I had never even imagined I could write Renjun, let alone a series. But there was something in the prompt that had gotten my wheels turning. And I am so immensely glad that it did. There were days when I thought “Oh man, what have I gotten myself into.” Some days, the story would just flow. Other days, I’d keep staring at the blinking cursor not knowing what to type. But when I did, I found my emotions so deeply connected with the characters. I was happy when they were happy. I was sad when they were sad. So, parting with them is very hard to say the least.

But through this journey, I got to experience the joy of reading all of your reviews and comments and honestly, it made it all worth it. THANK YOU to every single one of you that read this story and waited on it and laughed and cried with it. You have made my life better in more ways than you can imagine.

In this moment, I want to thank 🍙 anon, because it was their prompt that put me in this mess in the first place. And so, it is only fitting that I dedicate the final part to them 💛

“Oh, we definitely need a picture together. How about here? I think this place would fit everyone.” Kim Doyoung looks about, finding a spot best suited for the photo he wanted.

“I think right there on the platform would be better. We could get everyone in two tiers.” his assistant suggests.

“You’re a genius. Let’s gather everyone. It’s not often that so many NCTU grads and students come to Midnight Arthouse,” Doyoung nods.

“How many of us are here, anyway?” Renjun muses. The assistant looks at her iPad, checking once again.

“I think there’s 23 of you. So, let’s definitely go for the platform.” she nods.

“Okay, then.” Doyoung claps his hands together once, “Gather everyone,” he says to no one in particular and walks ahead with purpose. Renjun and the assistant’s eyes meet and they smirk. Of course this was directed to the both of them. So, they set about to work.

As it would turn out, gathering 23 people from a charity event with art and food and drinks would be a bit of a task. But somehow, they manage to gather all alumni and current students on the platform in three tiers instead of two for a somewhat chaotic picture. There must’ve been something in the water at NCTU because none of it’s students could stand still for very long. They get maybe one decent picture and several in which someone or the other was moving or pulling a face.

His friends aside, looking around at the group, Renjun realized that he recognized nearly all of them. Yangyang and Hendery and the rest of their frat were here. As were the 127s, old and new. Renjun recognized them all, except maybe two boys, who didn’t seem to know a lot of the others either. When the pictures were done and the main events were over and the crowd had started to dissipate, Renjun finally walked over to the artwork to observe it up close.

Honestly speaking, watching the work with his own two eyes left no doubt in his mind that this artist deserved to be spotlighted like this. This work was in a league of its own. Watching it makes Renjun smile; because looking at it makes him think back to a few months ago when he was sitting in Kim Doyoung’s office, thinking of himself as some sort of a big shot. But the truth is, there was no way he had that caliber then, and there is no way he has that caliber now, though he was sure as hell working on it.

“This is the piece I lost the bid on.” Renjun hears a voice and he turns around to see Zhong Chenle’s father observing the art with him. Renjun bows politely and smiles under his mask,

“I mean, this is a remarkable piece. You have good taste.” Renjun acknowledges.

“What about you? Why isn’t any of your artwork displayed here?” he asks and for a while, Renjun smiles a bit nostalgically. He could’ve been here, had he made something for the Annuale. Had he just selfishly taken that shot. Then again, there would’ve been no real guarantees. Because Kim Doyoung was pretty particular in the people he chose, whether they were recommended by his family or not. Working with him closely in the last couple of months had taught Renjun that. It had also taught him how underdeveloped his skill was in the real world context.

“I guess I still have a long way to go.” Renjun replies humbly.

“Don’t we all?” Chenle’s father nods, “Are you working here at this establishment?” 

“Um, I… I suppose I am. I am Kim Doyoung’s apprentice. He is my mentor.” Renjun nods.

“So I might see your work here soon enough, eh?” Renjun assumes the kind man is smiling under his mask because his eyes seem to be making the same shape as Chenle’s do when he smiles. So Renjun grins back.

“I mean… if I work really hard, I might get to shoot my shot in the next Midnight Arthouse Annuale.” Renjun fantasizes.

“Or maybe you’d get lucky like this young artist,” he points his chin towards the artwork.

Renjun smiles, “I would credit her luck, too if I hadn’t seen her work. But her talent is… it kinda speaks for itself.”

“Oh, no, you should definitely credit her luck. Talent isn’t enough. The stars have to align. Luck, talent, the right place, the right time. It all has to come together.” he says nodding. 

Renjun considers his words. They seem to be coming from the wisdom of experience. 

What if Renjun hadn’t received the phone call about his grandma back then? Well, then he probably would’ve made something lackluster and gotten rejected. Working with Kim Doyoung has taught him as much. It didn’t matter who had put a word in for him. At the end of the day, his work had to be outclass.

What if he had received the phone call and then still had enough time to submit something for the Annuale? Then he still probably wouldn’t have because… well, because of you.

What if he had gone ahead, regardless of you or his grandma and just made something and submitted it? Then he still would’ve been rejected. Because the truth of the matter is, he just didn’t have the caliber that artists associated with Midnight Arthouse did.

In that sense, Renjun supposes everything was in fact happening at the right place and right time now. Doyoung was mentoring him and he was getting better by the day. The stars were aligning for him. He knew it in his heart.

“Then I would wish that it all comes together for me, too.” Renjun says.

“When it does, young man, I’ll be the first one to bid on your work.” he says and Renjun doesn’t even have the time to react when he feels a presence breeze in his direction and invade his personal space.

Renjun doesn’t even have to look up to know who it is. He can tell by the way this body fits perfectly into his side. He can tell by how naturally his own body responds and just puts his arm around it’s waist.

“Oh man, I missed all of it, didn’t I?” you lament, as you loop your arms around his neck from the side instead of a hello.

“Not all of it. The guys just left but your brother and his friends are still here. Besides, you had work.” Renjun turns his head and looks into your eyes to reassure you. “Y/N, this is Chenle’s father.”

“Oh, hello!” you say cheerfully and respectfully bow and give you greetings. “It is so nice to meet you. Chenle looks just like you!”

“Yes, I’ve been told I’m a more handsome version of him,” he smiles then turns to Renjun, “And who might this young lady be?”

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N. She goes to NCTU with us.” Renjun introduces you and you bow again. Oh, the thrill he got every time he got to introduce you as his girlfriend. Fuck, he’s pretty sure he’d never tire of it, even if it had just been a few months. The serotonin boost in his veins is strong and he gets the urge to squeeze you and hold you forever.

“Oh, that’s very nice. Come have a meal with us before we have to catch a plane back home, okay?” Chenle’s father invites the two of you. 

“Oh, I would love to!” you say in your chipper tone before your eyes start darting around “I’m going to have to excuse myself for a little bit, I just wanna say hi to my brother.” you say and you politely bow before you start moving away.

“Babe, hang on…” Renjun says, holding you back by your hand. He brings his fingers delicately to the bridge of your nose and softly pinches down the mask over it so it sits more snugly on you. “There, it’s much safer now.” Renjun nods and watches the affectionate smile your eyes give before you move away. You looked so pretty today, even if you were just coming back from a four-hour internship. You were easily the most beautiful girl in this room, though Renjun suspected that you’d be the most beautiful girl in any room you entered. 

Albeit sometimes, Renjun had to wonder if your talent or your beauty was greater. Because you had become the only junior in NCTU to land an internship at the SMK Trainee Drive. And now that you were a senior, you were somehow managing to keep your grades up alongside it. 

Renjun, on the other hand, would find himself struggling with balancing his apprenticeship with his school work. So he knew firsthand how your discipline was something else altogether. Recently though, he had experienced a rise in his grades because you had been taking him on so many study dates that your organizational skills and motivation had started to rub off on him.

Renjun walks around the studio and the party and feels like it’s been too long till you’re finally back by his side. 

“Love in the Time of Corona,” you read the title of an art piece displayed in front of you. “That was supposed to be our thing.”

Renjun laughs and has no qualms in looping his arms around your waist and finally pulling you into himself.

“I guess we should’ve realized then how un-novel the idea would become in a few months.” he comments. 

“Un-novel is not a word, Huang Renjun.” you narrow your eyes at him.

Renjun laughs. “It is now,” he says and lets out a long exhale, “I missed you today.” he complains, though he looks down at you with warmth.

“Well, you’ve got me now. And you have me for the entire weekend.” you reassure him, your palms on his chest.

“Mhmm.” Renjun smiles and he wants to lean in to kiss you. But Kim Doyoung specifically had people assigned to walk around and make sure that everyone had their masks on when inside. “Also, we already have a thing.” he reminds you and winks.

You laugh, and say “I guess we do,” then let out a happy sigh as your eyes avert from his for a moment, taking in your surroundings. “Our Couple Thing should give you some ideas on what you can make when your work is displayed here in the 2022 Annuale. I won’t be late to that, I promise. I’ll take a day off from everything else in my life.”

Renjun's heart grows warmer still, and he’s sure his eyes reflect what he feels, “How can you be so sure my work will be displayed in the 2022 Annuale?”

“I don’t know, Huang Renjun. I just have a feeling about you.” you say and Renjun can see you smile even if your lips are covered by a mask. Your eyes always smiled before your mouth did, anyway.

“Y/N L/N, I have a feeling about you, too.” he retorts. 

“And what feeling would that be?” you raise an eyebrow.

“It’s a secret.” he says, but now he sees your pout, even if he can’t see your mouth because your cheeks have puffed up over the mask. It makes him laugh.

“You’re no fun.” you protest.

“I’ll tell you once we get out of here.” Renjun offers.

“Well, I’m ready to leave.” you jut your chin up. Renjun grins and offers you his arm. You grab it with your entire body and the two of you start walking out together.

You had plans for the weekend, after all. And Renjun was determined to keep you all to himself for once, with no one else demanding your time. Not your internship, not your assignments, not any of your friends, and especially not Lee fucking Donghyuck. He was finally going to take you away where it could just be you and him and nobody else.

This moment felt way too surreal to Renjun.

The campfire had simmered down from a glorious roar to a comfortable burn, giving off just enough heat in the cool of an early winter evening. The sky was in it’s fading moments, where the pink of the light was slowly turning to violets and the violets were slowly merging into darks. 

Renjun remembered suggesting to you all that time ago that maybe you could go somewhere together. But now that he was here, he hadn’t imagined that the moment would feel as surreal as it did. 

Because now the two of you are sitting in front of your tent by the fire, entwined in one another. You’re sitting between his legs, arms around his neck, nuzzling your cheek inside his padded jacket while he supports your head on his arm and kisses you.

He’s holding you in his arms and kissing you and everything seems so perfect that for a moment, he has to pull away to watch your face and wonder if all of this was real. And though there is a gentle smile on your face, you’re not opening your eyes much. Because you know full well that Renjun’s lips would be back on yours in no time. So you play with his hair as they fall to his forehead and when he kisses you again, you press up into him so he would wrap his arms around you and hold you tighter. He does and he rubs his hands up and down your back and attempts to close his jacket around you.

“Are you cold?” he asks lovingly. You shake your head.

“No. I just want to crawl inside you.” you say, like it’s the most logical thing to be said.

“Creepy.” Renjun remarks but holds you closer still.

“You should be happy you haven’t seen my collection of your hair clippings.” you quip as you nip into the skin of his neck.

“Oh, sweet. That rivals all your used tissues I’ve kept in my shrine at home.”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have.” you coo at him and then lean up to kiss him some more and he laughs. But soon, he pushes the arm that you were using like a pillow up so your face would be closer to his and he could kiss you as deeply as he was truly craving. 

The two of you keep kissing like that till the sky is dark. It was an odd sort of trance, being so lost in one another that neither of you cared about what time it was or how long you had been sitting here, wrapped up in one another. Your phones were zipped away in your bags and you hadn’t checked them even once since you had parked your camping van and set up your tent. It was a slow, peaceful sort of bliss, just sitting by the fire and kissing and kissing with nothing else on your minds but being here like this with one another.

“Renjun?” you say, your voice sounding like it was returning from a deep thought.

“Hmm?” Renjun asks as he combs your hair away from your pretty face.

“You know, I learnt today that a cactus can live anywhere between 10 and 200 years.” you tell him, idly tracing the birthmark on the back of his hand.

Renjun leans in and presses long into your lips. “Yeah?” he replies and watches your face. It seemed hazily focused, like it was trying to catch onto a faraway thought.

“I also learnt that it can take up to 30 years for a cactus to bear flowers.” you say in an introspective, wistful tone.

Renjun looks away to hide his smile. Oh God, you were so cute. “Yeah?” he says again, but it’s getting more and more difficult to keep a serious face.

“Sometimes, a cactus doesn’t flower at all.” you say and then you turn your head to look at him like you’ve resurfaced from your thoughts and are now in the moment. Renjun’s grin grows wider. “Renjunnn…” you whine and so he has no choice but to tenderly hold your cheeks in his palms and stroke your hair.

“What?” he chuckles.

“You said you’d think you’re worthy of my forgiveness when the cactus bears flowers.” you whine again and Renjun has to plant a loving kiss to your forehead.

“Is that what I said?” he chuckles some more and then leans in to kiss the anxious realization away from your lips. 

“Renjun.” you pout and Renjun laughs and takes his beautiful, whiny, kindhearted girlfriend in his arms and hopes that his hold could chase away all the worries from her pretty, brilliant mind.

He kisses you because his heart can’t bear it any longer. How did he manage to hold a heart like yours in his hand?

Renjun feels an indescribable amount of happiness. Like he wasn’t sure that you were really here with him, in his arms, all for him to hold, with no worry or burden afflicting him. The happiness is so immense and so incredible and so heavy that for a moment, he feels it suffocating him. He wonders if he deserved this kind of happiness.

But right in the next moment, he stops himself. He knew how easy it was to relapse into those tempting, lonesome thoughts. But if there was anything that therapy was teaching him, it was that of course he deserved happiness. 

Though right now, holding you in his arms, this happiness was choking him. He felt like his heart was swelling and pressing against his lungs and his chest couldn’t bear it and he could no longer breathe. 

“Y/N…” he exhales, holding you back so he can look at your face and you could look up into his. He pauses to gather another breath. Then, he just says it. “I love you.”

And doing so does the trick. He feels his chest slowly getting lighter, because this is what it had been bursting with. Now, he’s told you. Now, it can be unburdened.

You look up at him and there is nothing but a sparkle in your eye, and tenderness in your smile. For a while, you say nothing, just looking upon his eyes like that. “Thank you.” you finally whisper back at him.

Renjun pauses for a moment. But then, he relaxes. This was okay. You didn’t have to say it back right away. Renjun was ready to give you as much time as you needed. So he presses his lips into your forehead once again till he feels you laughing against him. He pulls back in confusion and you grab at the lapel of his parka.

“Huang Renjun…” you say and he looks back at you with uncertainty, “... I love you, too.”

And Renjun can’t help it if he kisses you too hard. He can’t help it that he’s squeezing you too tight. He wouldn’t care if the night brightens back into morning and the morning fades back into night. He was going to hold you just like this for the rest of his life. 

So he lays you down and kisses you deeper, like he wanted to make up for all the time he had lost. All the time in his life when he hadn’t known you. All the time he had known you and didn’t let himself have you. He was going to make up for it all. And as he zips the tent up and shields you from the rest of the world, he wonders if he could spend all of his days just like this. Holding you and loving you and knowing that you loved him back; and if he could, today was a damn good day to start.

The fire slows to a simmer till all that’s left are embers that keep being carried away by the breeze. But the two of you remain inside, in your own world, happy that you had found one another, happy that you could finally have one another. Happy that you could hold one another and say that you loved each other and have nothing in the world hold you back, not now, not ever.

You were Y/N and Renjun, Renjun and Y/N, two names that were forever intertwined because that’s how people would call you now. You were the couple that belonged so perfectly with one another that people would wonder if you’d been together for years. And any time someone with a burning curiosity would come up to you and ask,

“So, where did you guys meet?” you would just look at one another, smile and say, “Well, we met in online class.”

~THE END

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

#renjun fic #renjun fluff #renjun angst #ficscafe #kpopscape #neowritingsnet #dreamwritersnet #huang renjun #renjun #nct fic #nct dream #nct #nct dream fic #nct fluff #nct angst #nct college au #renjun x reader #we met in online class

[pompompurin1028]

To Live

Summary: In which Dazai finds a reason to live from Dazai’s POV

A/N: I wanted to write some fluff because I felt bad because of the angst I wrote. And sometimes I wonder if the stuff I write is too dark😭.

Relationship: Dazai x reader

Warnings: Dazai thoughts (negativity, alienation)

Genre: Angst to fluff

My Masterlist

I have never known what it means to live the life of a human being, this life that people say that I’ve been blessed with. I could never understand how those religious people could ever view this burden as a gift. After all, what part of living can possibly be worth anything when we are all merely heading to an inevitable demise? What in life could possibly be worth the pain knowing that everything we’ve ever accomplished in it, would disappear into thin air in the tide that is time? Every scratch and mark that we’ve spent our entire lives dedicated to making in the world will disappear in a mere sandstorm as the cogs of life move forward. Then why suffer through the pains of life, when nothing one does could ever change anything? 

All through my life, I’ve felt like nothing but a feather that is drifting aimlessly in the wandering winds. Or a leaf that is floating atop an ocean, slowly but surely sinking into oblivion. All through my life, I am merely existing, like a walking corpse being dragged through the currents of life; or a dancing stringed puppet whose master has yet to grasp its art. And that’s what I am, inhuman... A flawed being who could not even comprehend the basic means of life -- to live, to be alive...

And with what little humanity I have left in me, I knew I could never possibly belong in this restrictive, judgmental society. For what beings would allow someone as alien as myself to exist as a part of them? But as long as I can make them laugh, it doesn't matter how, I'll be alright, right? As long as a can accommodate them with humour, perhaps no one will suspect that I’m utterly broken and hollow inside...

Suffering... Numbness.... These things are the only constant in my life. They are my only companions as I wallow into the depths of my mind in my solitude. It is only at these times I could truly be myself, with no one to judge but my own mind. So could you imagine the pangs of fear that raced my heart when you walked in on me in such a dire state?

Darling, to say it frightened me would be undermining it. In that mere second you entered through the door, it felt as though the sense of control that I had, the leash that I held, utterly shattered in my hands. 

Yet, you continue to surprise me. You didn’t comment on my state, nor did you offer any words of comfort. But in your eyes, I could see a glimmer of empathy, and in that second, it was almost as if you can me, understand the exhaustion the held me down, this deep wound that the world had embedded into my being. You did not judge, but sought to understand. In that moment of weakness, I let you in, into my mind, even just for a little bit, and you embraced me...

Now, as I watched you in one of your most vulnerable states. Hair spilled onto the pillow beside me, chest rising up and down slowly as the light of the moon shines onto your face. I couldn’t help but notice the lightness I felt in my heart and the rare but genuine smile that etched itself onto my face. 

As I traced my hand fondly against your cheeks, I couldn’t help but wonder how lucky I was to have you by my side. Often, I wonder what could I have ever done to be deserving of someone such as you. Who despite knowing the truth of who I was, nothing but a man of masks, would still be willing to accept me, lay down their guard in front of me.

And it was at this moment, that I felt, for once, even for a brief second... I feel like I am alive. For once, I am genuinely happy and at peace. And perhaps, if life has beautiful moments such as these, the pain and agony of life might be worth it after all...

Perhaps, there is a reason for living - to seek moments of peace such as these.

Truly, to live is the rarest thing in the world, most people exist, that is all. And maybe, I can finally feel alive with you by my side...

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x oc #bsd anime #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd fanfic #bsd fanfiction #bungou stray dogs fanfiction #dazai imagines #bsd fluff #fluff #angst #literature references #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x you #bsd x reader #bsd x you #kat writes📝 #✒️ . he that reigns and lives within my thoughts

[luxekook]

in too deep ☼ knj

☼ dedication: this fic is a bday present for the loml tay aka tay bay bay aka @interludemoonchild​!!!! luv u long time <33 (sorry this isn’t about hobi skksksks)

☼ pairing: marine biologist namjoon x assistant reader

☼ genre: idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, crack

☼ summary: you had always grown up being told tales of terrible jobs with tyrannical bosses. but now, you’re left to wonder why you hadn’t heard more tragic stories of all-too-wonderful jobs with all-too-beautiful bosses... did falling for your boss only lead to heartbreak and a two weeks’ notice? or could it yield the possibility of romance?

☼ word count: 3.1k

☼ warnings: pg15, cursing, chaotic energy, pining, miscommunication, mentions of quitting, lots of sea nerd stuff, namjoon is smart af but an idiot in love, the reader isn’t any better, crabby bois, arguments, completely cheesy fluff, short make out sesh, mention of sex

☼ banner creator: heathy bby @shadowsremedy​

☼ beta reader: the amazing and astoundingly talented phia @meowxyoong​

“Kim Namjoon!” You cry, swatting the blue-clawed crab away from your feet with a broom, “What did I tell you about bringing your goddamn crustaceans into the office?”

The man in question hustles out of his office looking disheveled, “You’ve seen Carl?” He sinks right down to his hands and knees to peer under your desk. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, little buddy!”

You stare disappointedly as your boss picks up ‘Carl’ from his hiding place and cradles him to his chest. “Namjoon,” You sigh exasperatedly, folding your arms.

He looks up at you and blushes, “Sorry, Star. I just feel so bad leaving them downstairs at the lab. It’s so lonely and dark down there.” 

While your stomach flips at the mention of his nickname for you, your eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Well, why don’t you just stay down there with them?”

“Because you’re up here…” He mumbles something incoherent. 

“What?” You lean forwards, your ears straining to catch the garbled syllables.

Namjoon clears his throat, looking everywhere but at you, “Because it’s nicer up here.”

“Don’t tell your investors that,” You laugh, thinking of all the fancy and shiny equipment housed in the aquatics lab a few floors below. Working for a top-tier marine biologist sure had its perks - namely the state of the art kitchen with a full espresso bar. 

“Star, I would never!” He looks affronted by the mere mention of such a thing. “Now, apologize to Carl for scaring him.” 

You scoff, but just one glance into Namjoon’s sparkling brown eyes makes you crumble instantly. “Fine,” You begrudgingly shoot the crab a look, “Sorry, Carl.”

“See, Carl?” Namjoon croons, “She’s sorry!” As he turns back to you, you can immediately tell he is about to launch into Marine Biologist Mode™. 

“Carl is a blue crab - a Callinectes sapidus, to be precise. That scientific name literally means ‘savory beautiful swimmer’.”

“Savory, huh?” You quip, relishing in the scandalized look Namjoon shoots you.

“Don’t listen to her, Carl,” He whispers, stroking a finger gently down the crab’s shell. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes… He’s named for his pretty sapphire-tinted claws, and he’s one of the most harvested species of his kind. So, don’t even think about it.”

You burst out laughing as he eyes you, “Okay, Joon, I’ll leave my pot of boiling water at home.”

Namjoon splutters out a choked laugh, looking at you like you are the most exasperating thing he’s ever come across. And, you probably are.

When you came to work for the distinguished marine biologist four months ago, you found him literally buried beneath piles of research papers, files, and National Geographic magazines. Apparently, he had tripped into his filing cabinet and everything had fallen off of the shelves onto him. The man had been a right mess. It was no wonder he had put an ad out in search of an assistant.

In your new role, you slowly but surely introduced some structure and organization into Namjoon’s life as best you could. The first thing you did was update his office. The man still had an honest to god lava lamp on his desk. You were still baffled at how he had managed not to break the fixture before your arrival.

Swiftly following the disposal of the cursed lava lamp, you ordered new file cabinets - and had them nailed to the wall. Virtually, you did even more. You restructured his online platforms and updated his schedule to include more than just scattered notes like “Meeting at 10AM, i think? Or was it 10PM?”

To his credit, Namjoon adhered to most of your suggestions and changes, but apparently he still refused to grasp the ‘no creatures in the office’ rule.

Overall, Namjoon was a great boss - kind, understanding, sweet, and a tad eccentric. His love for all things sea-related shone through the gentle way he handled his specimens, the passionate tone of voice he used while speaking on any related topic, and the stars in his eyes at the mere mention of discovering a new species.

It had been all too easy to become infatuated with him. Especially when he called you “Star” and left you to interpret the meaning on your own. 

You remember the exact moment that you fell in love with him so vividly. It had been last month, just three months into working for him. Namjoon had been going off about fucking sand of all things.

“…Sand speaks of history, of science, of travels. Each grain of sand holds thousands upon thousands of years of movement, of erosion. For example, the beach outside of this building is tan because of the iron oxide tinting the quartz and the feldspar to a light brown color. But, there are other beaches that are black, white and even pink in color! It’s fascinating! And to quote the goddess of marine biology Rachel Carson: "In every curving beach, in every grain of sand, there is a story of the Earth…”

Yeah, you are head over heels for your boss. And that’s why you needed to quit.

The end of the workday arrives too quickly - a common theme it seems when you love what you do and who you work for. Namjoon walks beside you down to the parking lot. You sneak a glance at his face and note that he seems deep in thought.

Your mind slips to the image of you and Namjoon going home together to a shared house overrun with fish tanks and models of sharks. It’s all too easy to picture, and all too painful to acknowledge the impossibility.

“Star,” Namjoon’s voice jolts you from your fantasy. You blink up at him, realizing you’re both stopped beside your adjacent cars. Namjoon smiles at you, “I’ll see you tomorrow? It’ll be Friday, finally...” 

It seems like he wants to say more but stops himself for some reason. You pause, waiting for him to continue, but he just blushes and brings a hand to the back of his neck bashfully.

“Yeah, Friday,” Your tone is less enthusiastic. You planned to hand in your two weeks’ notice tomorrow. It’s a complete strategy on your part so that you can have the whole weekend to cry and shove at least one gallon of ice cream down your throat.

You wave goodbye to each other and enter your respective cars. You watch Namjoon pull out of the parking lot before you and pause to rest your forehead on your steering wheel. You were so screwed.

Twenty-four exhausting hours later, you find yourself with your fist poised over Namjoon’s wooden office door. Are you actually doing this? Are you really going to quit the only job you’d ever loved? 

Yes, you are. You love Namjoon too much to stay here surrounded by his charisma and his beauty. You love him too much to try to complicate his workspace, his sacred ground. You love him too much to ask him to blur the lines of colleague and lover.

You need to leave - for his sake and for yours. It isn’t like he still needs you. He has been following your routine with vigor and always keeps his office organized now. Your tasks have been dwindling for weeks. 

It’s time to move on. God, even the tension today had been off the charts with you and Namjoon skirting around each other like you were both walking on eggshells. Clearly, he is also feeling like you are in the way.

With that in mind, you straighten your shoulders and finally knock on the door.

Your ears strain for any sign of an answer. Your breath catches in your throat as you try to sustain the meager amount of courage you had mustered up inside you. Twisting open the handle, you push the door open and are immediately met with an empty office. Damn, he must be downstairs.

You chuckle at the sheer idiocy of your panicked state over knocking on an empty office door.

This is perfect anyways. You can hand Namjoon your two weeks’ and then evacuate the building in one sweep. Shutting down your computer and grabbing your things, you trudge out of the room and towards the stairs.

The journey downwards seems akin to walking the plank as you take each step slowly, dreading the inevitable. 

Ciara has it all wrong: you do not love it when you One, Two Step. 

The entrance to the lab looms overhead. The steel double doors look more like the gateway to hell rather than a nice entrance to a marine facility. You don’t break your stride as you march through the doors. If you had, you might not have kept going.

The familiar light humming of the tank filters meets your ears as you peer around the rows of shelves containing colorful fish and scuttling critters.

“Joon?” You call, the nickname slipping past your lips before you can stop it.

“Back here, Star!” His answer sounds from the very back of the lab. Of course, that’s where the crabs are housed.

You make your way past the tanks of clownfish and the pools of stingrays to where Namjoon sits hunched over the shallow tank containing four green-tinted crabs. 

“That’s it, Nala.” Namjoon croons as the smallest of the four crabs swims around the tank, “You show your brothers how fast you are.”

“Talking to your subjects again, boss?” You can’t help but tease the man you've grown to love as he fawns over his work.

Namjoon blushes slightly and nods, pushing his glasses up to rest on the bridge of his nose, “Studies have shown that it helps them develop.”

“I thought that was humans?” You say, shifting your weight back and forth. The letter in your hand seems to burn more each second you hold onto it. You couldn't take it anymore.

As Namjoon opens his mouth to reply, you thrust the letter into his chest and say, “Never mind. This is for you. Please read it later.”

With that, you fast-walk your way back to the entrance of the lab. The sound of the envelope tearing open only forces you faster. Fuck, it had been idiotic of you to assume that he would actually listen to you and open it later. Namjoon is as impatient as they come. Of course he wouldn't wait.

“Star!” His strangled call startles you, “What is this?”

“We can talk about it on Monday!” You reply, somehow already close to tears. Why is this godforsaken lab so big? You pace down the aisles of tanks and breathe a sigh of relief as the exit comes into view. 

Then, Namjoon comes barreling around the corner, cutting off your escape. The man looks baffled as he clutches your written resignation in his hands. His chest heaves as he holds the torn pages out towards you, “What. Is. This. Star?”

You bristle. I guess we’re doing this now, you thought. Stiffening your shoulders, you muster all the false bravado you can manage, “It’s my two weeks’ notice, Namjoon. I’m sure a smart guy like you can read.”

“Okay, allow me to rephrase,” Namjoon stalks towards you, tossing the crumpled letter over his shoulder. “Why did you give me this?”

“The letter explains everything,” Your eyes dart around, both in search of a viable escape and in avoidance of his intensity.

“Sure it does,” He scoffs, his eyes blazing with disbelief. “I want to hear it from you.”

Your back hits the cool glass of the tank behind you. You’re trapped between the contrasting temperatures of the water and Namjoon’s body.

“Joon,” Your voice shakes, “You don’t need me anymore. You’ve done everything I've asked of you and then some. You’re organized. You’re on time. You’re put together. I barely have enough tasks now to fill a day, let alone a week. It’s time to move on.”

“Time to move on?” Namjoon echoes before barking out a humorless laugh, “I don’t need you anymore? That’s really what you think, Star?”

“Don’t call me that.” The nickname snufs out any trace of fight left inside you, and you plead, “Just let me go, Joon.”

“Never,” He growls.

“I don’t understand what you’re not getting,” You sigh, exasperated and drained, “You’ve surpassed my expectations and erased the need for my position. I think the saying ‘the student has become the master’ applies here.”

Namjoon gapes at you before he snaps, “You’re the one who’s not getting it! Have you ever considered that the student might just be in love with the teacher?”

Joon rakes a hand through his hair as you become the one to gape open mouthed at the frustrated man.

He continues, “I wake up earlier every damn day because I can’t wait to see you at work. I organize all of my things because I just want to see you smile at me when you notice. I spend an hour each night picking out what to wear the next day because I want to impress you… Don’t you see? Everything I do is for you, is because of you. I want to be the best version of myself for you.”

Your mind struggles to compute the seemingly impossible notion that the object of your affections returns your love. “Did you,” You gasp out, “Just say that you loved me?”

“Yes, you complete jellyfish! I love you. I am in love with you! And it’s not like it’s not obvious! I call you ‘Star’ because you are my starfish, my sea star. You are the one who keeps the balance to my ecosystem of chaos. You are the key species that keeps everything afloat.”

“And you thought that was obvious?” You yell back at him, “How on earth would I immediately have known the intense analysis behind your nickname for me, Namjoon the science buffoon?” You huff, scrambling to process the amount of information that had just been thrown at you. 

He needed you?

He loved you back? 

He nicknamed you after a fucking marine invertebrate?!

Namjoon blinks in surprise, “Did you just insult me with a Bill Nye pun?” You don’t deign to give him a response. Namjoon chuckles before grinning sheepishly, “Okay, fine. You make a good point.”

“I know I do,” You pout. “You can’t just spring this on me, Joon. Why haven't you told me this before?”

“Because I was nervous that you would leave me, that you wouldn't return my feelings. Obviously, the first point is moot. What about the second?”

“You’re asking if I love you back?” Your body sags against the tank behind you, “How could I not, you crab-loving, walking mess of a—”

Namjoon captures your mouth with his, kissing you with fervor. His hands wind their way up to cradle your face between them like you are the most precious thing to him. 

Pulling back slightly, Namjoon rasps out, “So, you’ll stay?” 

“Hm, I don’t know,” You crack a wry smile, “What’s in it for me?”

“Well, let me show you,” Namjoon replies before whipping his shirt off. You gape open mouthed at the expanse of beautiful tan skin in front of you. 

Was that a hint of a tattoo swirling over his left shoulder?

He reaches down to tug at the hem of your dress, insinuating he wants it off. A nice concept in theory; however, with one look around at your surroundings, you slap his hand away. “Namjoon! Not in front of the fish!”

“But, Star, these aren’t fish! These are squid, and they are classed as cephalopods—”

You put a hand over his mouth, “Allow me to clarify: I will only fuck in a creature-free zone.”

Namjoon murmurs something beneath your palm. You give him a warning look before removing your hand. He immediately repeats himself, “My office?”

Your eyes narrow, “I know for a fact you have at least three crabs in there.”

Namjoon pauses, looking suspiciously shifty, “There are only seven…” 

You wait for it.

“...teen.” He finishes.

“Kim Namjoon!”

Two Years Later

The short walk down the aisle ends too quickly as you find yourself standing in front of a teary-eyed Namjoon. Five of his friends stand behind him in a row, while the sixth stands proudly as the officiant.

They really are out here looking like a whole boy band, you muse. But, you only have eyes for their leader. 

Namjoon stands before you, all tall and handsome in his tux; and as Officiant Jin™ begins the ceremony, you can't help but wonder how you got so lucky.

Finally, the ring exchange is introduced dramatically by Seokjin who spouts something about circles and never ending love. “Let us now have the rings brought forward and presented by the ring-bearer!” He booms, raising his arms up like he is summoning a great force.

Ring-bearer? You rake your mind for a prior mention of a ring-bearer… You thought Yoongi as the best man would have the rings.

Suddenly, Namjoon produces a silver whistle from his pocket and blows it once. You stare at your soon-to-be husband like he has sprouted another head.

And then you hear it: the sound of legs and claws scuttling across the floor towards the altar. 

“Tell me that is not what I think it is,” You whisper-yell over to Namjoon, who looks way too pleased for your liking.

Your fears and exasperations come true as Namjoon swoops down to pick up Carl who has two shiny rings tied to his shell with a ribbon.

“Oh, Kim Namjoon,” You sigh as you watch him remove the rings from Carl and hand the crab off to a disgruntled Taehyung, “What am I going to do with you?”

“You’re going to marry me,” Namjoon grins.

And marry him you did.

a/n: jellyfish have no brains, lolz. idk why making joon call the reader a jellyfish made me crack tf up but IT DID.

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

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