#At least we get mans hosting... Sweden is good at hosting
Text
If it wasn't for the jury being stinky and swagless Finland would have won 💔💔 rip Helsinki 2024 gone but never forgotten 😔😑😩🚬
#Doing bad#Cha cha cha deserved the win like#It's not that loreens song was ever bad she's just the teachers pet and she already won#It's like damn we get it you're good give someone else a chance goddamn#Esc Sweden#Loreen#Is the song a bop? Yeah but so is cha cha cha and I wanted it to win out of spite for everyone being so annoying abt loreen#Eurovision 2023#Esc#At least we get mans hosting... Sweden is good at hosting#Eurovision Sweden#Eurovision#wow anna said something#Anna's shitposts
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Grindelnewt WIP
Newt knew it was going to happen. It would only be a matter of time before someone slipped up. An acolyte being spotted too close to Newt; Grindelwald being spotted with Newt; or the magizoologist himself being caught doing something he shouldn’t.
Which is exactly what happened. (Rosier now owed him money).
After a much needed week of relaxation (minus a few hours spent tracking down a creature), Newt had been called into the Ministry to discuss his travel ban. It started off the same as all the other meetings where they tried to convince Newt to help them in order to reduce it while the red head adamantly refused.
After a bit of back and forth, it finally deferred.
“An anonymous wixen has informed us that you were in Sweden this past week.”
Newt frowned. “You know very well that I can’t leave the country. Who do you take me for?” He asked, looking at each person across the table up and down subtly. Including his brother, who was always in these meetings, silent.
“Don’t play stupid!” Matthews spat. He was a man Newt went to school with briefly who held a vendetta against him for no other reason than existing at the same time.
Newt looked at the table. “Well, that’s rude.”
“Mr. Scamander, were you in Sweden or not?”
“No.”
“Can anyone else confirm that?”
Newt’s eyes flicked to his brother before the man speaking. “Auror Goldstein. She visited me Friday night on her way back to America.”
“Thank you, Mr. Scamander, we’re done here.”
Newt quickly left the room, almost making it down the entire hallway before being stopped. He turned around to find his brother with a concerned expression.
Theseus pulled his brother aside, standing in a small alcove along the hallway to make sure no one was eavesdropping. He proceeded to go on a bit of a rant. Exclaiming that Newt had ought to stop provoking the ministry if he ever wanted his travel ban to get lifted early or the rules laxed. Nor would he ever get a permit for a beast if his relationship with the ministry didn’t improve at least somewhat. He all but scolded Newt for not coming to any of the dinners he and Leta had hosted. Theseus looked away for a moment, claiming that he missed the company of his little brother, and the Leta would like to see her school friend more often.
There was a sadness in his eyes, but Newt didn’t think that it was from missing him. No, there was something else going on in his brother’s life.
He didn’t get to think much of it in that moment as Theseus barrelled on, going back to the ministry. He briefly mentioned some of their upcoming plans, hinting to Newt that he should get involved to gain good graces. With hushed tones he said something about a high security transfer between them and America.
Ungraciously, Theseus fumbled into his brother’s personal space, arms out in an attempted hug. But Newt stepped back, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him from moving (which looked like falling) closer.
With a heavy sigh, Theseus warned Newt to be extra careful. Just in case.
“I’ll be fine, ‘Seus.” Newt said, backing into the hallway. He had things to do, plus his nose twitched with every whiff of whatever atrocious perfume smothered his brother.
Theseus said he’d take the rest of the day off and go to Newt’s for afternoon tea.
Newt insisted that he do no such thing.
Unfortunately, Theseus decided to follow Newt home and give him some more warnings about continuing to piss the ministry off. When he did barge into the house, he found Newt talking softly with someone in the kitchen.
Newt’s head popped out of the archway, brows furrowed.
“Seus? What are you doing? I thought you were going home?”
“We need to talk. I need to know that you understand just how frustrated the ministry is with you right now,” he said, authority in his voice. He stepped closer as he talked, being stopped before the kitchen archway. He raised a brow. “Can I go into the kitchen?”
Newt gave an awkward smile, eyes darting away before looking his brother right in the eye. “It’s a bit of a mess right now.”
“Who’s in there? Is it your muggle friend again?” Theseus asked, pushing his way past Newt into the kitchen. He froze mid step seeing the foreigner casually leaning against the counter, fresh cake slices next to him. “What—”
“Please don’t do something stupid.” Newt slowly moved between the two men as he spoke. He wasn’t concerned, just knew things could go south pretty quickly.
“Don’t do something stupid. Newt, you have the most wanted criminal in your house and you’re telling ME to not be stupid?” Theseus scolded, voice rising, tone accusatory. He drew his wand, pointing it at the blonde hiding behind his brother. Coward, he thought, not even looking at me properly.
“Seus.”
“Hah, er hat Eier. Kommt in dein Haus und verhält sich so. Er hat keine Manieren.”
“Hah, he has balls. Comes into your house and acts like this. He has no manners.”
“Leave now and I won’t even try to hex you. There’s nothing worth your time here anyway.”
Grindelwald, however, did nothing but raise a condescending brow. He hated when people assumed things, and he disliked the elder Scamander very much. He had heard stories from Newt about how his brother would treat him sometimes. The man just did so many things to annoy Grindelwald, and saying there was nothing of worth to him in the house was just the newest reason.
“Wer glaubt er zu sein? Dümmer Mann. Er ist offensichtlich nicht so klug.”
“Who does he think he is? Daft man. He is clearly not that bright.”
“Nicht jetzt Gellert, bitte.”
“Not now Gellert, please.”
Theseus’ eyes twitched. “You,” he said, anger directed at Grindelwald. “Have ten seconds to leave. And you,” he turned to face Newt, words beginning to come out as shouts. “Have ten seconds to tell me what in Merlin’s name that was! Did you use his first name?!”
Gellert got off the counter, taking a step closer to Newt. “Kann ich ihn bitte verhexen? Natürlich nichts Schädliches, aber er ist ein Ärgernis.” He snaked an arm around Newt’s waist as he spoke, not even bothering to look at the man across the room.
“Can I please hex him? Nothing harmful, of course, but he is being a nuisance.”
Newt smacked his arm and let out a huff. “Ihr seid jetzt beide nervig. I will drop you off at the ministry myself if you don’t be quiet.”
“You’re both annoying right now.”
And Gellert Grindelwald, the feared Dark Lord, looked at Newt playfully and pouted.
Theseus was about to pop all the veins in his neck. He couldn’t handle the fondness dripping off his brother towards the criminal, and he could not stand that Grindelwald’s arm was still wound around Newt’s waist. They were comfortable. And it was sickening. The last time Theseus felt this level of nerves rattling his bones was when he was a child; it was suffocating. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to feel.
Slowly, he moved one foot backwards, not trusting enough to turn and run.
Except, when he went to take another step, he couldn’t. In fact, he couldn’t move anything.
In his mind, he was thrashing about, cursing (figuratively and literally) the Dark Lord that was clearly up to something and was obviously the one to put the hex on him.
“Look, ‘Seus,” Newt sighed out. “I’m sorry about the spell, but I now need you to understand the situation. I am never going to help the ministry find anything, especially any creatures or that poor boy. We both know I don’t need your help travelling. So, we’re going to sit down and talk about, well, Grindelwald.”
Newt stepped towards his brother and finally grabbed his wand off the counter. Slowly, he turned it anticlockwise and Theseus stumbled backwards.
The elder Scamander stood in the archway, wide eye and silent.
“Well, come on,” Newt said as he ushered his brother out of the kitchen.
Theseus moved numbly to the dining table. He sat stiffly, perched on the edge of his seat, hands splayed across the tabletop as if it holding it could stop the emotions. Apart from some clinking in the kitchen, the house was silent for a few minutes and Theseus was thankful that he was allowed those few moments to try and compose himself.
“You cast the spell?”
Newt wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Yes.”
“You were talking.” Theseus’ brows furrowed. “And you weren’t even looking at me. How did you cast it?” He asked. He took his hands off the table, gripping his wand instead but not thinking of using it.
Newt’s eyes snapped to meet his. “Well, I don’t tell everyone my business. Why would I tell people I can do wandless magic?”
“What would you tell someone who barges in and —”
“The only person who barges into my house is you,” Newt said hotly, crossing his arms. When Theseus tried to stare him down, he stared right back, refusing to look away. Even when a cup was placed in front of him and filled with tea.
The elder Scamander was the one to break the stare, unable to not watch the blonde wander about like he lived there.
A shiver ran up his spine at the thought. Revolting.
“Explain that then.” Theseus demanded, nodding towards the blonde.
Newt shrugged. “I quite like him. And you won’t tell anybody, right?” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement, a command.
“You know I have to report this.”
“No, I don’t think you do.”
“Newt.”
“What? Will you arrest me if I try to stop you?”
“Yes, but please don’t make me do it.” Theseus said. If he could just reason with his brother, then maybe things would work out perfectly fine and he wouldn’t get in anymore trouble. Well, much more trouble.
Grindelwald, who had taken to hovering in the archway to the kitchen, scoffed.
“So, you arrest your little brother. People might feel bad for you since having to deal with such a situation would surely be terrible. People might idolize you for being so dedicated to your work that not even family matter, simply right and wrong. Or, maybe, they’ll grow suspicious of you. One pure-blood brother fell, who’s to say the other won’t follow? And maybe, those who follow the cause might grow to hate you for turning on your own brother. You’ll paint an even bigger target on your back.”
Theseus was once again, speechless – no spell needed this time. One would assume that such a rant came from the criminal in the room, but instead, to his horror, his own brother was speculating on what would happen after his own arrest. It seemed well thought out and simply put, but Newt didn’t actually seem all that interested in the words that came out of his own mouth.
“I really don’t think it’d turn out well for anyone ‘Seus,” Newt added. He turned his attention to the tea and piece of cake that had made its way onto the table as well.
Seizing the moment, Grindelwald decided to join in the conversation.
“You Aurors don’t know the lengths I would go to to free my intended,” Grindelwald casually added.
“Intended?!” Theseus spluttered, hitting his knee on the table as the word made him physically jolt.
“Gellert, Liebes, du hilfst jetzt nicht wirklich. Ich brauche ihn, um sich zu beruhigen.”
“Gellert, dear, you’re not exactly helping right now. I need him to calm down.”
“Er ist zu leicht zu ärgern,” the blonde muttered but he disappeared through the door that led to the rest of the house.
“He is too easy to tease”
“Why can’t I detain him?”
“As I said, I quite like him. It’d be rude of you.” Newt hummed as he savoured a sip of tea.
Theseus almost snapped his wand in half and then nearly pulled out his own hair. “Whatever he promised you, he’s lying. He’s using you, Newt. He taking advantage of you.” He tried to warn.
Newt frowned. He hated being talked to like he didn’t know what was happening. Like he was a clueless and easily misled child who couldn’t make a right decision to save himself. Like he was separate from his brilliant Auror brother. Like he was beneath him.
Setting his cup down, Newt drummed his fingers against the table.
“Taking advantage of me? No, I’m taking advantage of him.”
“Be serious. You—”
“Are observant,” Newt interrupted. “You seem to forget that it’s my job to watch before I interact with creatures.”
“But he’s a person! It’s different!”
Newt gave his brother a pointed look, brow raised. “Yes it is, but considering how often I have had to deal with people lately, I would say I’ve picked up on a few things.”
“Be serious! You say yourself you prefer your weird creatures over other wizards.”
Newt abruptly pushed his seat back, crossing his arms. He stayed seated, but anyone could tell that he was fuming. The frown never left his face and his eyes never shied away, his posture perfectly straight and upright, lips almost curling as he started to speak.
“I would love to be left alone to research and help creatures, to write my book, open sanctuaries. But your wonderful friends at the ministry have problems with everything I do! I’m quite happy to keep to myself but you keep dragging me this way and that, giving me fines and travel bans while refusing to ever give me permits.”
Theseus threw his hands up. “It’s our jobs, Newt! And that lunatic isn’t any better than the ministry.”
“Gellert is honest with me. He helps me and leaves me alone when I ask. He gives me gifts, information, brings me tea.”
“Ah-ha, so he’s bribing you,” Theseus decided, looking smug as if he had won the entire argument. Chest puffed out victoriously.
A humourless laugh escaped Newt’s lips and it made him sound dangerous. “Oh please, spare me. I know all about the dragon pups you were going to try to bribe me with.”
“How did you know about that?”
“Matthews loves to boast about causing me issues.” Newt contemplated before adding, “You should muzzle him.”
“What?”
“He talks too much,” Newt said slowly, dumbing down his previous sentence. “He was far too smug the last time I tried the permits department, so, we went digging.”
“You cannot be serious right now!” Theseus yelled, hastily standing up. He forgot about his wand, not even noticing it drop to the floor and roll away. It was the least of his problems, and none of his problems could be solved with his wand.
“Deadly.”
“Fine then.” Theseus pointed an accusatory finger at his brother before demanding, “Tell me something else then if you’ve been so observant.”
Newt looked his brother up and down before huffing.
“Your relationship is falling apart. Leta constantly fiddles with her engagement ring and one of your colleagues keeps trying to get her attention. There are three women in the ministry who bat their eyes at you when you go past and they all wear the same cheap perfume, which, you have stunk of for the last few months.”
Theseus fumbled for words.
“Look,” Newt started, finally moving away from the table. He glanced at the clock. “We’ll finish this later when you feel better.”
Tiredness washed over Theseus, making his eyes droop and his body sway. “No, we’re not done here.”
“Yes, we are. Get some rest,” Newt said. He put a hand on his brother’s shoulder and that was the last thing Theseus remembered before he fell asleep.
After moving his brother to a spare bed and putting up a million charms and wards on the room and his house, Newt let out a heavy sigh. It bad been a long day.
Arms snaked around his waist from behind and he let his back lean against the warm chest now there. Feather light kisses were littered up his neck.
“I can go alone?” Gellert offered, mumbling into Newts skin.
The magizoologist shook his head. “Tomorrow, though, we’re staying in.”
“Natürlich, was immer du willst.”
“Of course, anything you want.”
“They won’t need our help.”
“No, they are competent enough to get the dragon pups,” Gellert confirmed. Softly, he tightened his arms around the red heads waist and began to direct them to the bedroom. “However, we do have to get going to make our reservation.”
“I know,” Newt said. He started to change into more expensive clothing, adding rings to his hands. “I’d hate to keep Vinda waiting.”
To be continued!
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Eurovision 2024 predictions
Hi !
How are you ?
Here are my predictions for Eurovision 2024 nobody asked !
Disclaimer : I'm not clairvoyant, so most of my predictions won't come true. Also, please note that I don't mean to offend anyone in this post, I just like to guess what will happen in the next Eurovision season.
The jury system will remain the same but EBU won't bring it back in the semi-finals
The rest of the world will still have the ability to vote
They will introduce a new rule where we have to create an account to vote from the Eurovision app
38 countries will participate
In plus of Luxembourg, North Macedonia will come back
Romania will withdraw following the bad result in ESC and because of poor TV ratings
Turkey won't come back for obvious reasons
Monaco will be back... in 2025 because TV Monaco will join EBU only in 2024
A ballad will win the contest
The edition will be dominated by pop songs in English
Malmö will host
Petra Mede won't come back as a host but Måns Zelmerlöw (Sweden 2015, host in 2016) will
Farah Abadi or Sarah Dawn Finer will be the other host
Carola Häggkvist (Sweden 1983, 1991, 2006) will be involved in the contest
🇦🇱 Albania
The winner of FiK will also be chosen by the public as the representative
The entry will be a power ballad which will be revamped in English
The artist had already participated to FiK once
Will be in the same semi-final than Serbia
Will finish 11th in its SF
🇦🇲 Armenia
The country will send a woman again
The entry is an up-tempo pop song with disco influences
Will be the last song to be released
Will be a favourite of the eurofans
Will qualify but will flop in the grand final and finish in the right side of the table
🇦🇺 Australia
EBU will confirm that the country will participate to the contest during summer
Internal selection
The chosen artist has never participated to Eurovision- Australia Decides
The song will be a sad ballad
It will be popular on TikTok
🇦🇹 Austria
A male duo will be chosen
The entry will sound like a Troye Sivan song
Will not get attention from the fandom until the rehearsals
The staging will be simple but efficient
Will qualify but will finish in the bottom 5
🇦🇿 Azerbaijan
The chosen artist is famous in Turkey
The song will be an up-tempo pop song in English
Most of the songwriters are from Sweden
The staging will be similar to the Euphoria one but with dancers
Will close its semi-final
🇧🇪 Belgium
The chosen artist has participated to The Voice Belgique and was in the team of Beverly Jo Scott aka BJ Scott
The entry will sound like an Axelle Red song, but in English
Most of the songwriters are from France
Will be in the first semi-final
Will qualify
🇭🇷 Croatia
Dora 2024 will take place
A former representative will be involved as a contestant
A man will win the nf
The entry will be a sentimental ballad in English and in Croatian
Will get attention during the rehearsals
🇨🇾 Cyprus
A drama will happen during the nf
The winner of the nf will be a woman
The entry will be a pop song about love with a dancebreak
Will be high in the odds
Will be in the second semi-final again
🇨🇿 Czechia
ESCZ will take place again
A boy band will win the nf
The entry will sound like if Backstreet Boys and BTS had a baby
It will be a contender for the win
Will place at least 15th in the final
🇩🇰 Denmark
DMGP will be a weak nf as usual
The winning artist will be an Instagram model
The entry will be a bubblegum bop in English
Thomas G:son will be one of the songwriters
Will do better than expected
🇪🇪 Estonia
A former representative will be involved in Eesti Laul 2024
A band will win the nf
The entry will be a scam themed funny song in Estonian
Will be overhated by the fandom
Will be in the top 20
🇫🇮 Finland
UMK 2024 will be a good nf
An underdog act will win it
The song will be a catchy pop song in English
It will be liked by a lot of people
Will finish second last in the final
🇫🇷 France
A nf will take place (but not necessary CVQD)
Bilal Hassani will take part as a jury member
A southern man will win
The entry will sound like a 2010s French song
Will finish somewhere in the right part of the table but will get at least one "12 points"
🇬🇪 Georgia
The Voice of Georgia will be used to select the representative again
A woman will win again
The entry will be a dark edm pop song
It will cause a controversy in the country
Will compete in the first semi-final
🇩🇪 Germany
Ikke Hüftgold will be involved in the nf again
The winner of the nf will be a woman
The entry will sound similar to Flowers by Miley Cyrus and the artist will be accused of plagiarism
Will be hated by Germans and the fandom
Will finish in the bottom 5 again
🇬🇷 Greece
A Greek-German artist will be selected in internal
Greek locals will hate their representative for some reason
The entry will be a radio-friendly pop song in English and the title will be in Greek
Will compete in the second semi-final
Will NQ
🇮🇸 Iceland
Söngvakeppnin will be disappointing in terms of quality
New rule in the nf
A woman will win against the odds
The entry will sound like a song from Taylor Swift's Midnights album
Will NQ again
🇮🇪 Ireland
The nf will be a beautiful disaster
The chosen artist will be the youngest of the edition
The entry will be a pop song about a Swedish artist/band
A drama will happen after the pre-party season
Will have the weirdest staging
🇮🇱 Israel
The Rising Star will have new rules
A woman will win the nf
The entry will be dance pop song in English
A drama involving politics will happen
Will finish 17th in the final
🇮🇹 Italy
A big controversy will happen before Sanremo week
Diodato will participate in the festival
The winning artist openly supports Meloni
The song will be a modern ballad
Will finish top 10
🇱🇻 Latvia
Initially, a Supernova SF will be planned but will be ultimately cancelled for only one final
A girl band will win
The entry will be an up-tempo pop song in English
Will get attention from the pre-parties
Will qualify but end up in the bottom 5
🇱🇹 Lithuania
PiN 2024 will be an average edition
The favourite of the nf will win both the jury voting and the televoting
A member of InCulto (🇱🇹 2010) will be involved in the nf
The entry will be a slow ballad in English
Will be the only baltic country in its SF
🇱🇺 Luxembourg
A nf will take place
Any artist from any country can participate but Luxembourgers singers will be privileged
A well-known French artist will be selected
The entry will be a French chanson that will sound like a Juliette Armanet's song
Will sadly NQ
🇲🇹 Malta
MESC will be the longest nf
Matt Blxck will participate again
The winner will be a man
The entry will be a love ballad
Will compete in the second semi-final
🇲🇩 Moldova
35 artists/bands will participate to the nf's audition
A finalist will withdraw in the last minute
A female former representative will win
The entry will be a folk-pop song in Romanian and in English
Will be a borderline qualifier
🇳🇱 Netherlands
A nf will take place and almost everyone in the fandom will hate it
Between 5 and 10 acts will compete
The most disliked act will win
The entry will be a schlager in English
Will do better than expected
🇲🇰 North Macedonia
Internal selection
A male artist will be chosen
The entry will sound like a movie score
Will be cancelled by the fandom for some reason
Will do better than expected
🇳🇴 Norway
Autotune will still be allowed in MGP
Emma Steinbakken will be involved in the nf at least as a songwriter
The winner will be a woman
The entry will be a power ballad about trust
Will place somewhere in the left side of the table
🇵🇱 Poland
A nf will be planned but will be cancelled and replaced by a last minute internal selection for some reason
A male YouTuber will be chosen
The entry will be a dance pop song
Will divide the entire fandom
Will make the final thanks to the artist's fandom
🇵🇹 Portugal
A drama will happen before the reveal of FdC tracks
A fado artist will be the favourite for the win
An underdog act will win
The entry will be a folk song in Portuguese
Will be underrated by the fandom
🇸🇲 San Marino
UVPSM will be shorter than usual
Some artists from the 2023 NF season will participate
An unknown Italian artist will win
The song will be a disco-pop song in English
Will somehow become a meme
🇷🇸 Serbia
The nf will be nice overall
An eccentric artist will get attention
A woman will win
The song will be a balkan ballad in Serbian
Will be high in the odds
🇸🇮 Slovenia
Internal selection again
A female pop star will be chosen
The entry will be an up-tempo pop song in English with some words in Slovenian
Will be overhyped by the fandom
Will do worse than expected
🇪🇸 Spain
Pol Granch will be involved in the Benidorm Fest
A controversy will happen during the nf
A famous artist will win the festival
The entry will be a dark ballad in Spanish
Will finish 20th in the final
🇸🇪 Sweden
Melodifestivalen will be better than the last edition
Both Anna Bergendahl and Dotter will be involved at least as songwriters
A LGBTQ artist will win
The entry will be a pop song in English about self-love
Will finish 6th in the grand final
🇨🇭 Switzerland
A good-looking male artist will be chosen
The entry is another sad ballad, but this time about break up
Unlike the 2 previous songs, it will be more appreciated by the fandom
Sacha Jean-Baptiste will stage it
Will qualify but will flop in the final
🇺🇦 Ukraine
Vidbir will be good as usual
A female pop star will win
The entry will be a world music influenced pop song in Ukrainian and in English
A big drama will happen after the nf
Will finish 4th
🇬🇧 United Kingdom
There will be a rumor that Dido could represent the UK to make her big comeback on stage
The actual representative has worked with a British star
The entry will be a mid-tempo pop song
Will be a favourite of many fans
Will finish 16th in the final
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rating Nobel Dinner outfits
I’m home sick so we’re gonna look at the most specialiest of awards shows, ie the one where a bunch of very intelligent and/or rich and/or influential and/or un/lucky people get to eat a very expensive dinner on camera. I am Swedish and obviously biased but here we go.
Warning for long post so if you’re on your PC press J to skip and if you’re on phone idk suffer or something.
Starting off with the Swedish royal house because idk they’re the hosts?
Okay they’re not but whatever.
Fun fact, I once had a teacher who worked in the castle wardrobes and the specifications about who gets to wear what and how and when is out of this world. LEFT TO RIGHT:
QUEEN SILVIA – Best part of this is the colour contrast between the purple and the baby blue. Looks kinda cheap aside from that. I am sure the lace fabric is very high in quality but my immediate reference is always going to be F21 tumblr girlies anno 2013. 4/10
CROWN PRINCESS VICTORIA – Looks like the collective American imagination of what a Crown Princess looks like so it is sort of like reviewing the concept of socks. That said, what is going on with the puckered hem? Queen also seems to have this issue. Come on. 5/10
PRINCESS CHRISTINA – Aspirational grandmother aesthetic. Cute! 6/10
PRINCESS SOFIA – Setting a standard, as it were. The high and decorated collar, the subtle quality of the material and colour, the cut of the skirt. I have some concerns about the end of the sleeves but if this was the minimum bar for royal gala wear I might be tempted by royalism. 7/10
Oh and you may notice a suspicious absence of menswear in this list and that is because those who wear anything but immaculate white tie are intensely rare.
THE NOBEL LAURATES
Ok so again with the white tie cavalcade but I want to give a shout out for laurate in medicine Svante Pääbo who 1) assumed he was gay until he met his wife and colleague Linda Vigilant and fell for her “boyish charms” before 2) proceeding to move in with her and her husband to live in some sort of throuple? Altogether, the bisexual representation we deserve.
LINDA VIGILANT – They’re a bit difficult to spot but there are DNA spirals on her shawl! Very synyhetic looking but understated colour with some lovely amber jewellery that looks excellent on her. Love the big chunky glasses. 7/10
ANNIE ERNAUX – Laurate in literature. Exactly what I think of when I think of “dignified French authoress”. 5/10
CAROLYN R. BERTOZZI – Laurate in chemistry. Very good use of two-toned fabric and sparkles. The slight pinstripe gives it something to hold onto, even if it doesn’t photograph well. 8/10
BETH PRICE – Partner of Bertozzi. First same-sex Nobel laurate partner. Can’t really see the dress but I am always biased towards black and red two-tone and she looks handsome in it. 6/10
PHAEDRIA MARIE ST. HILAIRE – Partner of Morten Meldal (laurate in chemistry). I haaaate the train. Looked super cheap in motion as well and especially when contrasted with Vigilant’s DNA spirals. 3/10
THE SWEDISH PARTY LEADERS
Head of parliament is Ulf Kristersson and he is a despicable little man, contrasted with the leader of the Liberal party Johan Pehrson, who is a despicable big man. Additionally there is Jimmy Åkesson who is leader of the Sweden Democrats and simply despicable. But he wasn’t invited so at least there is that. Sole representative of the conservatives is thus Ebba Busch:
EBBA BUSCH – Christian Democrat. Some of my friends were really into this but again with the lace fabric… I also think it is very bottom heavy and unflattering. It’s like someone mashed up a wedding dress and a Victorian mourning gown. At least the bodice is flattering. 4/10
ANNIE LÖÖF – Centre party. Obligatory green dress on a redhead. I like that it is deceptively simple, I like the train, I like the use of a visually interesting fabric but maybe it is a bit too much. Wish she would have gone with a statement necklace + more narrow sleeves. 6/10
NOOSHI DADGOSTAR – Leftist party. There is nothing revolutionary about this dress but at least it sits well on her. Next. 3/10
MAGDALENA ANDERSSON – Social Democrat. Perfectly executed simplicity. Gorgeous fabric. Flattering cut. True mother-of-the-country moment. Ulf watch your back because this is a political revenge dress. 9/10
MÄRTA STENEVI – Green party. Not visible here is the ouster shell jewellery which I LOVED. Environmentalism aside this dress fucks and I love it. The smooth upper chest area combined with the fluffy and busy skirt and sleeves? The colours? Playful and attention grabbing and sincere all at the same time. 10/10
OTHERS
RUFUS WAINWRIGHT – Musician. Perhaps the only time Wainwright will out-rockstar Kevin Shields (who is here as partner to the daughter of one of the laurates). Admittedly a bit of a walk over but I like it! 7/10
ELIN KLINGA – Actress. When contrasted with Stenevi this becomes exponentially more horrifying. @ Nobel fashion coverage please stop putting this in front of my eyes. 2/10
WHOEVER THIS IS (member of Samédiggi?) – Excellent use of gákti. Land rights for Sámi/10
PERNILLA MÅNSSON COLT – TV host. Could be the platonic ideal of a black velvet evening gown but I don’t like the fit and I don’t like the fabric. 5/10
JESSIKA GEDIN – TV host. Exemplary queering of the male white tie ensemble. Excellent nails and other details. Could only be improved by being part of a pair. 9/10
CECILIA GRALDE – TV host. Very flattering colour and looks great in motion but genuinely the toned glasses are what makes this look. The MILF of the nation. 8/10
VICTORIA DYRING – TV host. Hair buns! Though looks kinda Star Wars when combined with the wrap collar? Big fan of the well-executed one-massive-sleeve. 7/10
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Eurovision Semifinal 2! (reminder to block the tag "capy watches eurovision" if you don't care!)
Overall this felt like the weaker semifinal by far, but there were a few standouts. Unfortunately several of them stood out on the "why" side.
On the other hand, at this point I have forgiven Sweden for beating Finland last year, even if it was the wrong result. They're having a lot of fun with the hosting - and we got Käärijä!
My semifinal 2 rankings, in tiers this time because I had a hard time picking a clear winner:
Tier 1: Switzerland, San Marino (DNQ, boooooooooo)
Tier 2: Netherlands, Estonia
Tier 3: Armenia, Austria, Czechia (DNQ), Norway
Full commentary:
Malta (did not qualify): It’s fine. A solid pop entry, not memorable.
Albania (did not qualify): It’s also fine. A solid ballad entry. Not memorable.
Greece (qualified): An otherwise decent pop entry but the Instagram-live framing is GRATING. I grant that this is probably a me problem but I HATE it. Please never use Insta Live framing non-ironically it is the worst.
Switzerland (qualified): OK, this I like. It’s fun, it’s poppy but not the same pop song as everyone else. I hear this is getting good odds in the final and I am not mad about it.
Czechia (did not qualify): I liked this a lot but it felt like it was missing something? Like it’s great but I wanted more, there wasn’t a lot to set it apart.
Austria (qualified): Staging is a 90s laser school portrait (affectionate). It’s fun and I’m here for it. Not my top pick but I want to see it in the final.
Denmark (did not qualify): DON’T YOU KNOW THE STAGE CREW HAS TO SWEEP THAT GLITTER UP. This song needs about 40% more lyrics. Great voice though?
Armenia (qualified): Well somebody’s got to bring the modernized folk music, and I guess it’s Armenia’s turn this year. It’s fun! I like it.
Latvia (qualified): Bald man in a circle. Blue Man Group stars in Gladiator, but only the non-action bits. Cirque du Unmemorable Entry.
San Marino (did not qualify): YESSSSSSS. This isn’t beating out Ireland or Croatia, but I think it’s my third pick overall so far. (and then it didn’t qualify, BOOOOOOOOOO)
Georgia (qualified): As look-at-my-butt entries go, this sure needs some work on the dancing front.
Belgium (did not qualify): He was wearing spikes and a hat with metal-band-font in the intro and then it’s a fucking ballad. In English. I feel lied to. C for the song, D- for failing to meet expectations.
Estonia (qualified): The other updated folk music. This one SLAPS.
Israel (qualified): all I’m gonna say is that this should have been DQ’d on multiple fronts and otherwise I’m not getting into it. ...ok I'm also gonna say it's a mid song at best and if it wins because of [*waves hands at europe*] I'm gonna be big mad about it.
Norway (qualified): Much like Czechia, I really like this, but I feel like it could have been better? Could have been at least 43% more metal. I'm glad it made the final though.
Netherlands (qualified): PEAK EUROVISION NONSENSE. Yes please!
Bonus Pre-Qualified:
Italy: As look-at-my-butt entries go, this is pretty peak. It’s catchy and fun and I like the staging. It is aggressively Italian.
Spain: Song is fine. Staging is BUTTS er I mean GREAT. Keytaurs, men in corsets, butts, what’s not to love?
France: The Lewis Hamilton We Have At Home. That giant step away from the mic was hell of a flex, but otherwise the song was pretty forgettable.
1 note
·
View note
Text
What Eurovision 2021 taught us
1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)
Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.
We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.
But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:
The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.
The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.
On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.
________________________
2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads
I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.
The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.
And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.
Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.
________________________
3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision
Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?
Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.
Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.
The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.
So I want to give my full thank you to:
Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.
Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them
Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french
Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year
Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything
France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it
Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm
Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year
While my biggest biases go to:
Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.
Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!
Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!
Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.
________________________
4. That we don't want Americans to play with us
For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.
I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.
And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.
And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.
And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.
The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.
________________________
5. That we can lose like bosses
This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.
Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.
But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.
And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.
Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.
Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.
________________________
6. That FUCK YOU JURY
Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.
The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.
I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.
Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.
And this year, the public's taste was flawless:
Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.
There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.
Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.
________________________
7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives
I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.
I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.
But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.
And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.
And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.
So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.
And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.
youtube
________________________
8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)
The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.
And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.
Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.
And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.
And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.
Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.
What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.
This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.
Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.
youtube
________________________
9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners
It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.
The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.
The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.
But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.
________________________
10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)
Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.
And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.
And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...
#beauty talks about stuff#eurovision#eurovision 2021#italy#ukraine#uk#maneskin#go_a#europe#I bet you all forgot again about san marino#and flo rida#why was he here#we might never know#uk stop being sore losers and take yourself less seriously#france you did great#but ukraine did better#go_a my beloved#thank you maneskin for delivering some good music#finland was awesome#some good rock heck yes#such good songs#thank you europe for giving us such amazing show#and now back to my regular scheduling
323 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi all!
As usual, I owe all of this to the wonderful world created by @lumosinlove. 🙏🏻
I love Kris so much. Single dad, hockey star is a mood. Apologies in advance. 😇
Enjoy!
Sweater weather chats #2
Kris joins a super secret club. Lily gets emotional. We get introduced to the bat cave. Kris is a cautionary tale for the rookies. Or that’s what Nado days. Kris is also an honorary mom. Celeste reminisces. Kasey, Nado and Kuny babysits. Everybody loves Remus. Ava wants a pony. Natalie has plans. SO MUCH BROMANCE.
—————
Emotional support group and Remus 🤩🥰🏒:
Friday 3.32 pm
NatNat added Kris to the group.
Allison: do I spy a new member? Welcome to the dark side, Kris. The rules are simple - this is a safe space for us to discuss our men, babies and other related topics.
Lucia: also, never tell the boys what happens at brunch. 😁
Celeste: welcome Kris. We thought you’d enjoy coming to brunch with us - Ava is always welcome.
Kris: woah? What is this? Shit. I’m honored. Also Remus? Wtf.
Remus: hi kris yeah I don’t know how I was allowed in, but it’s nice. 😁
NatNat: well Dumo might be the honorary dad but Kris is totally the honorary mom on the team. He wiped Gatorade off of Leo’s face last game. It was adorable 😍😍😍
Kris: well James did unscrew the top as a prank, not actually sure it’s a prank if you do it every game. And Leo didn’t realize. And he’s weird about not taking his blocker off. Had to help the kid out. 😆
Allison: well it made us enroll you in our secret and sacred club. Welcome! 🤩
NatNat: i forgot to send this on Wednesday!! Baby Russian with baby puppies
*kuny puppy pic*
GingerLily: awwww he looks so happy. James said he’s been depressed he cannot train this week. I love this. 😍
Anyaismyname: my baby. I knew him from he was 16. Such a sweet boy.
Kris: sweet? Are we talking about the same Kuny? He taught Ava to cuss a ref and last time the media asked her what she thought of the game and my playing, she parroted that. I had a trending tag for a month after that on Twitter😔
NatNat: I’m not condoning it but it was hilarious. I cried. But seriously he adopted a cat and named her Aya and they send me selfies with her every 7 minutes. They built her a castle in their ridiculous bat cave game room. 😅👑🐱
Remus: the bat cave is awesome. They’ve got pro surround sound and all. And a real slushee machine. 🤖 also kris, coach want you all back on the ice in 10.
NatNat: yeah haha kase is excited to go for halo night. Apparently they’ve got some sort of new VR stuff for practicing as well. 🏒🏒🏒
Celeste: Kris, don’t worry about the curse words. Marc spent three months yelling fuck at everything after Logan accidentally taught him. They get over it quick and the fans love you even more after that - haven’t you been on the most eligible list for your entire career? Also, didn’t Anya tell Kuny’s mom?
Anyaismyname: da, and believe me, Scolding work better in Russian. And I promised her to look out for her boy.
Kris: thanks guys, I know. I was just shocked. She’s my baby and sometimes I just can’t handle how quick she grows... it’s not fair... and yeah, apparently a single dad with a travel heavy job is eligible. Weird.... also - the boys’ game room is amazing and they did set up a my little pony game for her last time on the projector. Be there in three Re!!! 🏃♂️
GingerLily: awww I cant believe she was a baby when I first met her. She grows sooo quick! 😍
Kris: well it’s you soon! Good luck - you think you know what love feels like but. Damn, a baby just changes things. ☺️
GingerLily: we’re starting on the nursery next week and I can’t wait. James is hopeless with tools though but we’ve decided on a color theme at least 🥰🥰🥰
Celeste: mmh, that is always a big moment. I remember when I was pregnant with Adele, Pascal was still just settling into the Lions and we’d already moved twice, but something changed when we started working on the nursery. It got real then - he didn’t get the puck theme he wanted but nevertheless, I think that was when he really realized he was about to become a father 😍
NatNat: awwwww, can’t even imagine you two without your babies 😁
Celeste: me neither, honey, me neither. 😉
Friday, 4.38 pm
Kris: Natalie do you think we could find a puppy for Ava? We could house train it during off season and she’s been begging for a puppy for a while and i really want one too and hopefully with a puppy the “I want a pony” phase can be forgotten! :)
NatNat: of course!!! Also shouldn’t you be at training?
Kris: We finished 5 minutes ago. :) also thanks for cheering Kuny up, he was allowed to do stretches today.
NatNat: oh god. Forget the time out here. Is kase done too?
Kris: yeah but he’s currently unavailable. Something about hug a goalie day *pic of kasey and Leo, on the ice under a mountain of players*
GingerLily: 🤦🏽
Celeste: on another note my lovelies. I would love to host brunch next Sunday! We have full attendance - Elsa is visiting from Sweden! :) please let me know how many babies you’re bringing.
Sunday 7.03 am
Kris: hi Celeste. I’m really sorry to do this last minute but ava’s mom has cancelled again and I can’t get a sitter this late. I’d love to come for brunch next time though.
Celeste: oh my dear. Bring her. It’s absolutely no problem.
NatNat: hey kris. Kasey is going to nado and Kuny and he says they’re happy to babysit. Also he wants to know why you and Remus are invited to brunch. Don’t tell him anything. 😉😉😉
Kris: oh I don’t want to be a problem they probably don’t want a 4-year old to disturb their halo game...😬
NatNat: it’s not a problem at all :) (also need kase to practice - not getting any younger here 😏🤩)
Kris: well if it’s really no problem I know Ava would love to spend time with them. :) also totally rooting for baby blizzards soon!
———-
Blizzard created a new group: Babysitting
Blizzard added RussianGod, Nadotheman and KrisVolley
Blizzard: hey guys. Quick change of plans. Ava is hanging out with us today. Kris is going to brunch with the girls?! Said we’d be happy to spoil baby munchkin and teach her more Russian curse words
RussianGod: ok. Can we eat cookie? Also no bad words. Don’t want more yelling from Anya. She scary.
Blizzard: season diet Kuny. Oreos are only for Ava. And isn’t Anya like 5.2?
RussianGod: nado is still sleeping. But we can go to park and meet ladies. They love single dad. But Anya is little but scary. Have you not see how she keep sergei in check?
KrisVolley; you are not using my baby to meet ladies. Haha oh never thought of that. Anya is always nice to me 😂
KrisVolley: Here are the ground rules gentlemen!!!!
1) no begging - you need to say no and stick with it, unless she’s crying properly don’t give in to her. She hissy cries when she wants things her way
2) not too much sugar and candy alright? (Looking at you Kuny)
3) Kuny and nado can’t use her as a ploy to ensnare women.
4) do NOT teach her any more Russians words unless they’re good, safe and cute words. The press still hounds me from the time you taught her to cuss a ref....
5) have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do
Nadotheman: Morning boys. Also happy to babysit. But tHaNkS fOR aSkInG kase... 👍🏻 also @KrisVolley:
1) how the hell are we supposed to say no to that face? No idea how you made such a beautiful baby.
2) no problem. (Totally lying to you)
3) we would never use our baby niece in such a despicable way 😳 also it was one time and we can’t help that we are irresistible to baby-crazy ladies.
4) she can only scold a ref. According to Kuny totally safe and good words. Don’t believe what Sergei or Sunny says. Or the press.
5) so don’t knock up a fan at 18? Alright man got it.
KrisVolley: ....
Nadotheman: just keeping it real. You’re a cautionary tale for the rookies man. But your baby is cute. And you do a great job bro! 💪🏻
KrisVolley: I’m a what?? And thanks Nado. 😊
Blizzard: When you’re done with your moment.... I’m picking her up in five, can Nat go with you to Dumo’s? Ava and I will go have brunch at the bat cave and have an awesome time. And don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on the boys.
KrisVolley: thanks Blizzard. Good practice as well 😉
Kuny: 👀👀👀👀 baby blizzard????
Blizzard: alright calm down m8. We’re not even married (no judging kris)
Nadotheman: whatever you say bro. You gotta make a baby with that girl - she swooned at family skate. Also we all saw you makin heart eyes at the Brady bunch. 😆😆😆😆
Blizzard: they’re adorable and this conversation ends here. We’re outside now Kris. Also don’t encourage Nat. I’ve got a plan. 😬
——-
Nado: Kuny. Kuny. Is it baby safe? They’re here in 15 minutes.
Kuny: why you text me? I’m next door.
Kuny: also yes is fine. Maybe get bra down. It been in fan for 3 days
Nado: you’re the tall one. Get it down.
Kuny: I not put it there.
Nado: fine you lazy jerk. I’ll get it down.
Kuny: 😘
Nado: fuck off. But I love you too bro.
—-
Until next time, my lovelies 🥰
Always open for ideas, prompts, constructive criticism!
Also - does hug a goalie day exist? I think it should.
135 notes
·
View notes
Note
Follow up questions because I’m a Nerd and I love learning: is there any evidence to suggest frequent inclusion of women in Scandinavian warfare? Or is finding something like women’s armor rare? Was there a standard definition of any queer terminology in any ancient civilization? Did any Norse culture ever find its way to the Middle East???
I feel a bit like an over eager student writing this but uh...I’m very curious. 👀👀
When talking about women in Scandinavia you run into people describing how it appeared these women would take on the role of men in the absence of men. But I think there is an issue in that we’re assuming the role of women in these societies would match the role of an Ancient Greek woman (which is a whole other thing but I digress)
They’ve found that some of the founding fathers of Iceland were women, thirteen of them to be exact. women could inherit land and money from their parents. Women could be involved in legal matters and hold official positions.
There is lots of evidence that women were very frequently going raiding. They have been debating recently I believe if the term dregnr a young warrior really was only applied to men. Young women were described in the same vulgar terms as dominators and something we discuss in ancient Rome was the ideal of male “hardness” basically just being the top dog in the room. Women were the same in Ancient cultures if not expected to hold themselves differently but Skalds (the poets) describe the women just like the men.
Another thing quite recently (1993 so really recent in terms of historical archives) is the idea of the surrogate son. Basically, if a man died with no son to inherit a surrogate son would be chosen over a daughter. It has recently been noted that they very well could have been describing the daughter as a surrogate son. Someone to take up that male role of head of the household. This suggests in the sagas we have noted women but there is also a possibility for women to be described with male traditional words because of the role they were playing.
And we have found tons of armor that looks ceremonially and some battle worn for women yep. All women could fight though it was excepted they could defend themselves and their home front. Against potential attackers and wild animals.
Plus in the 13th century, the Christians introduced the Law of Gulathing which were sets of rules for people to follow. Women were then banned from cutting their hair like men, dressing like men, or in general behaving like men. This suggests It was common enough for them to throw it in the laws that banned traditional things that Scandinavians did that did not fit the Christian narrative or way of life.
-- This is gonna go under the cut for the rest cause wow I got long lol.
Okay queer terminology. You’ll see lesbian which was women who fucks women. and you’ll see penetrator a lot. These were slave cultures also so the idea of sleeping with another citizen was defiling them you shouldn’t do it.
In Ancient Athens, you saw men preferred the company of men over women because they didn’t think women were of value they were only good for producing heirs. There was a thing called pederasty where a wealthy man in his 20s, the erastes, would court a young wealthy man from the ages of 13-19, the eromenos, and teach him and keep him as a lover. Their debate over Achillies and Patroclus for example wasn’t if they were sleeping together but who was fucking who really. Because Patroclus was older but Achillies was the hero so was he being emasculated or were they breaking the age rule? That was their debate cause these things mattered to them
They were kinda the exception to the citizenship rule. The Spartans felt the pederastry was weird because it involved citizens but they were all in with the homo. Obviously, this was all very public and you’d be scorned if they thought you were being penetrated.
All in all, being penetrated was something women and slaves did and the last thing you wanted to be was a woman.
Another thing to consider was these cultures had a lot of problems with excess. So too much sex or food and in Rome you were a uh Cnidus? Idk I can only spell it in Greek which is staggeringly unhelpful but basically, you can’t control your urges. Based off that time someone tried to fuck a statue I think or something like that
The Norse had a similar word ergi which meant you had too much heterosexual sex actually, you were too promiscuous. In the 12th century we know in Iceland homosexual acts like sodomy were banned under Christian canon (Thanks Richard I of England) so there is that. Pre-Christian influence there seemed to be no stigma around this minus don’t force yourself on your friends that’s rude but slaves were fair game. (I wrote a paper on the weird stereotypes of Vikings being the sexual aggressors when the literature of the time suggests the Lotharingians were way way more likely to commit those acts. At least according to French who were besieged constantly by everyone all the time.)
níð was an insult for the ancient norse which basically you had displayed unmanliness. Or you liked to take it up the ass to be plain about it. (Ancient people were vulgar as shit the Romans were obsessed with sexual threats to the point where its just in common day-to-day speech.) Ragr was a term that meant you were unmanly which is much more severe and you could like legally kill someone for saying that up till the 13th century.
There is actually some debate that the concept of unmanly comes from making fun of the Germans. So like if you were Ancient Germanic or Ancient Brittania you were the savages of the day. Which is interesting when you consider the rhetoric those two countries put out. Like literally no one like the Germans or the Brits they thought they were filthy uncivilized and cowardly people.
Also fun from the 7th to 10th century in Norse culture there were these figurines called gold foil couples. In it a couple would be portrayed which was a way of proclaiming themselves married before the gods. It was a very religious practice for them. There are figurines depicting people of the same sex in the gold foil figurines.
Basically, we can thank Christianity for why we think the Vikings didn’t do homosexuality or homosexual acts. Because well they didn’t want them to starting in the 12th century again thanks Richard for having the worst break up with your boyfriend in the history of break ups.
And onto gender which if you know Loki from Marvel him being genderfluid is based entirely on mythology and is common in Norse writings. Okay so essentially we think of seiðr or magic as something women do. And they did too. But men did practice it. This was seen as a third gender in Norse culture, the seiðmaðr a man who practices magic. Hence Loki moving between the three as he’s a known magic-user. There was also this concept of gender mixing, biological men buried in traditionally female clothing. But there is no way for us to know if that is this third gender or potentially they were more excepting of what we would call transgender.
Because most of the writings we have come from the 13th century where Christianity really took over and just started making shit up. Like we have evidence they were trying to cover up things about Norse culture they didn’t like. So men who practiced seiðr were actually ergi and not a different gender, just an unmanly male.
So yeah lol these were acts they did so verbs can be found really easily. But we have mostly Icelandic stuff cause Christians they did fucked up shit
--
And the Vikings in the Middle East. They went all over. We have this assumption they were raiding whenever they went. Actually, the thing is they only raided northern Europe because they rightfully assumed those guys couldn’t fight back.
But they had trading agreements easily with the Greeks, Persians, and Abbassids mostly. There is a woman from Sweden who was buried with a ring that was inscribed with “For/To Allah”
The Arabs had the term Rusiyyah to describe the Vikings because they came so often. They noted that the Rusiyyah were not good at practicing hygiene but also describe their bodies as being “in perfect form” They liked a good ripped viking and I can appreciate that. They were like “they’re filthy but damn are those rusiyyah built”
Baghdad had the first real market place and they had paper from China so they were printing stuff into books which the Vikings found very interesting. There was so much international trade but the British and Germans who we mostly hear from now were so technologically unadvanced there was no way they could have participated with these other older cultures.
There is money found sometimes that was certainly viking in nature. They didn’t really have money like the Arabs at the time preferring to trade in goods. So they offered furs and silks along with weapons and slaves.
And it is possible that there was culture exchange as all cultures were being exchanged back then. We know some vikings converted to Islam as Arab writers commented that they missed pork dearly but were committed to the Path of Islam.
The Slavs or Rus (Russians) of the time were also annoyed with these viking raiders because their shit would get stolen and then sold to Arabia where they’d have to buy it back usually.
So yeah lots of trading going on. And many Vikings like I mentioned worked as bodyguards or mercenaries. We don’t know much of what the Vikings thought except that the writers in Arab noted they were very polite to their hosts if not aggressive with each other in a playful manner.
Lol you really let my nerd pop off here. I’d have to do more research into the Norse effect on the Middle East though cause I only know about the other way around off the top of my head here.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mun Information:
Name: Murphy
Age (You must reveal if you’re under or over 18 years at the very least): 22
Main Blog: plz-let-me-nap
Type of AU blog (art, writing, cosplay, greek pottery, let us know): Writing, however I will be commissioning artists for some posts 😊
What is Shiv’s favourite colour (Refer to the Rules)? Orange!
Muse Information:
Name (For Gods- whatever name they had when they ascended/ a name they are formally referred to as by the other gods): Tino, God of Homes and Houses
Nation/ Place being represented: Finland
God or Human: God
Personality: A very friendly, sweet guy. Likes hanging around his temple a lot. He really wants to become the main god ruler so he can have more homes. Likes everything warm and cozy.
If a God
How did they attain godhood?: In a past life he was a forest elf. He made a wooden house in a forest clearing just for himself. However, he often helped lost travellers, people injured whilst hunting, and homeless people by letting them stay in his humble abode. Sooner or later people began looking for this house, to give him gifts of appreciation and to just have somewhere to stop whilst on travels. He used these gifts to enlarge his house and make it more homely. It was the love and devotion of these people that allowed him to ascend into godhood.
What do they offer to worshippers?: He can do a lot. He can help worshippers find houses or find homes, bearing in mind that they are two different things. Got a house but it doesn’t feely homely? Tino can give advice on what feels missing, whether it’s a cute pet, décor, or problem with the house itself. Having trouble finding a house? Tino can help with that, whether by finding one for you to buy or helping you build one. If you’ve fallen on troubled times, feel free to stop by his temple for temporary accommodation or just for some food. He can also help you with tidying your house and hosting small gatherings, just don’t ask him about parties.
Additional background: Tino doesn’t care enough to remember his past lives, he’s happy being a god and remembering his time as a wood elf. He’s very good with a sword, and sometimes you can find him batting away any monsters that try to get into nearby homes.
———————————————————–
Name (For Gods- whatever name they had when they ascended/ a name they are formally referred to as by the other gods): Berwald
Nation/ Place being represented: Sweden
God or Human: Human
Personality: Berwald is a quiet, stern looking man. He doesn’t say a lot but is hopelessly in love devoted to Tino. He is kind but mostly shows this kindness through actions e.g. putting a blanket over someone who has fell asleep, feeding birds, etc. He is also a very curious man, so don’t be surprised if you find him in ask boxes asking questions. He also loves dogs.
If a Human
Career: Carpenter/ Priest
How do they show their faith?: He lives in Tino’s temple permanently as a priest. He looks after the temple; organises any offerings; greets visitors; creates furniture as offerings to Tino.
Are they Enlightened/ Trying to Get Enlightened/ Just Vibing?: He doesn’t know really. He wants to become Enlightened to improve his chances of being with Tino forever, maybe one day godhood. However, he’s a bit stuck on how to get there, and he doesn’t want Tino to think he’s using him to get to Enlightenment.
Additional background: He was a carpenter who fell on hard times and came to Tino’s Temple for help, praying for help with his home. Tino told him to stay awhile and well, he never left. He sold his house and moved into the temple permanently. He has realised that the temple and Tino are his home.
Please include examples of your art/ writing/ etc and if possible, a snippet or piece dedicated to the AU character below:
((I’ll just do a quick piece of prose, is that okay? If you need more, please feel free to DM me!))
“Do you want to know how to get there? Go North, pass the icy lakes and into the forests. Keep going north. Eventually you will find trees punctuated with bird houses, that’s when you’ll know you’re in the right forest. Soon a path, outlined with wooden posts, will appear to show you the way. Follow, and you will find a large house in a forest clearing, with little wooden animals sitting outside. The smell of fresh bread will greet you and the warmth that can only be described as “home” will embrace you.
If it is night, you will meet Berwald, a tall stoic figure who will nod towards you. Maybe he’ll pass you a blanket or a cup of soup.
If it is day, you will bump into Tino himself. He greets everyone the same way. “Bless you! Welcome to our home, how may we help?”
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
Haruhi x Mitskuni and Vacation? (I have been on a HaruHoney kick )
The MitsuHaru ship is one of my guilty pleasures 🤫. I'm writing on my phone again tonight.
Haruhi snapped the paper map open over her lap while she sat on the edge of the hotel bed. She heard the shower turn on in their bathroom and silently thanked her husband for finally convincing their son to clean up.
After being on the road for twelve hours they were beginning to smell ripe.
Mitsukuni hopped onto the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"What did you decide?" He asked, looking over her elbow to see where she had marked on the map. He saw a few areas and names circled with a red pen; gardens, a petting zoo, a coffee shop.
Haruhi pointed to a bridge walkway and said, "I'd like to do this tomorrow morning. I think it'd be nice to walk over the river during sunrise."
"Good luck getting Yuki awake that early... let alone me." Mitsukuni chuckled. He wasn't keen with the idea of sacrificing sleep just to walk over a bridge but if his Haruhi really wanted to... he could probably behave for one day.
But their son... he unfortunately inherited Mitsukuni's poor morning manners.
He found a name near the right corner and pointed towards it, "I recognize this name, it's a bakery that originated in Sweden. We should visit that."
Haruhi nodded, knowing it was futile to even argue against that. She could already see the bags upon bags filled with treats and sweets they'd bring home. After all these years he managed to control his sweet tooth, only indulging once or twice a week instead of every day like he did back in high school. He still craved cake often but he could control himself, especially for their son's sake. He didn't want to give an unhealthy example.
Mitsukuni leaned over and kissed her cheek, suddenly feeling sentimental. He considered himself a blessed man to have this woman who bore him a handsome son and chose to love him the way she did; with all that she had and all that she was. The least he could do was offer that love which explained why they had flown to America for a family vacation.
He planned a little surprise for the end of their trip which he left as a surprise. Haruhi didn't suspect anything which is what he wanted.
However, when they reach Boston she'll see their friends and their families for a host club reunion. He couldn't wait to see the smile on her face.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Part 3
Since I last posted, we’ve gotten word that a certain rich asshole is going to enter the race. Now, I could do 500 words on why this guy is awful, but it would sort of go against my belief that just because someone is really rich does not mean we need to pay extra attention to them and their thoughts. This guy is not winning the nomination, won’t even poll about 3% in most states, and overall is not worth the amount ink that will surely be spilled on his campaign. Next.
Joe Biden. Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders
So we are down to the final 3. One of those 3 objectively should have been culled much earlier. If I was doing this purely based on the level of support for each candidate, this guy would have been cut about 8 candidates ago. But Joe Biden is still the front runner, consistently leading national polls and absolutely killing it in several early primary states like South Carolina. Biden remains popular among black voters, who serve as the lifeblood of the Democratic party. Even though his policies and personality suck, he is unique from all the other shitty centrist candidates. So he gets his own takedown.
Joe Biden is a very old man hoping to blind the voters with his connection to President Obama. And for the most part, it’s working like a charm. Forget the fact that he is a rambling, incoherent mess during campaign stops. Forget his abysmal views on race, including his support for segregated busing and racist colleagues. Forget the fact this guy railroaded Anita Hill and still can’t sufficiently apologize to her. Forget all the bad parts of Joe Biden. That’s what he is banking on. Biden is trying to win not based on policy or his strategy for improving the lives of everyday Americans. No, he is trying to win by painting a false image of who he is and how electable he would be. Biden is basing his entire campaign on appealing to low-key racist white suburbanites who don’t want to pay more taxes. That’s his base. And it’s not an awful strategy. But it highlights something terrible about the Democratic voter.
The average Democratic primary voter appears to support progressive causes. They want to see Social Security expanded. They support a $15 minimum wage and gun control. They support paid family leave and some form of universal health care. But the average Democratic voter of a certain age, race and class level doesn’t want to fight for those things. Because while they agree with those policies in principle, they won’t be that affected by them, and more importantly, would have to pay more in taxes. So they say they support these goals yet refuse to put any skin into the game to achieve them. The other possibility is that they would support enacting these policies and paying a bit more, but they don’t think anyone else would and thus think we need to support the least-controversial candidate. No one really likes Joe Biden, or if they do, no one can really identify what exactly he is running for. Even though health care remains a joke in this country, Biden isn’t arguing to make it better. He isn’t supporting a wealth tax. What is this man running on except a vague idea about returning dignity to the American worker. Yet voters still support him, either because they know he actually won’t change anything (except make it ok to be gay again) or because they think not changing anything is the only way for a Democrat to win.
The American voter (not just Democratic voters) collectively is a stupid person. They personally want a politician to enact massive change to better their lives, yet believe the ideal candidate is a moderate who won’t do anything major, and still someone in doing nothing substantial, will improve their lives. Then, just to double down on that stupidity, they will vote the opposition party into power in Congress to ensure nothing happens, all because they love compromise. Of course, the last thirty years of politics have shown that bipartisanship is a myth.
The American voter is both very ignorant and very naïve. We accept that. But it’s tougher to accept that from our politicians. At a recent fundraiser for millionaires, Biden touted his sincere belief that when Trump goes, Republicans will have an epiphany and start working with him to make our country better. Folks, this is disqualifying. The sheer insanity of that belief needs to be a deal breaker. Biden, in the very same speech to the very same contingent of rich assholes, said that he personally called dozens of Republicans to get Merrick Garland on the Supreme Court. The Republicans said no and pulled a move so disgusting and unprecedented that we will never see something worse in our lifetimes. And this was all before Trump was even nominated.
Joe Biden is an idiot. He also is in the bag of the rich. He regularly attends fundraisers hosted by lobbyists for some of the most nefarious industries. His campaign is mostly funded by Wall Street and Health Insurance. And how do you think he’ll govern once in office? Will he go after these bad actors? Or will he appoint them to his Cabinet? Remember, this is the guy who worked in an administration that wanted Larry Summers as Fed Chief. He appointed Timothy Geithner as Secretary of the Treasury.
Joe Biden would continue the worst aspects of Obama’s administration without all the good stuff. He’d be in his late 80’s by the time his second term ended, too. For the love of all that we hold holy, we cannot nominate Biden.
It is now time for the top two candidates. I would happily vote for either of these candidates, so my choice for one is not a slight on the other. Each candidate has issues, but they are minor compared to what they bring to the table. So I urge you to vote early and often for either of them.
Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders
A presidential candidate should make you excited to vote for them. It can’t just be “I can’t vote for the other guy so I guess you’ll do.” It’s a recipe for disaster. People need a reason to take a couple hours of their day, find parking, wait in a long line, deal with eighty-year old volunteers who yell at you to close the curtain more, and then go into work and deal with their daily amount of shit. People need a reason to see the process of voting as exciting.
I think Bernie and Elizabeth are the only two candidates one can reasonably get excited about. I’m not saying everyone will be excited by them because a lot of people don’t support their policies. I call these people assholes. But can anyone honestly say they are excited to vote for Amy Klobuchar or Joe Biden? Even if you support their bland policy proposals which consist of “we need better jobs but fuck if I know how to do that.”
But which one to choose?
I’m going to start with Bernie. The negatives against him are one of perception rather than reality, but in politics its not the truth that wins out but what you can convince people the truth is. And Bernie will definitely be portrayed as an out-of-touch Socialist. While the youngins like the word “socialism” the majority of the electorate is still scared to death of the term because they equate social democratic government as the Soviet Union and bread lines. In other words, most people are stupid. Sanders best hope would be to hammer home how amazing European countries are, the benefits they enjoy without all the negatives that Republicans conjure up in places like Venezuela. Unfortunately, Republican messaging still rules the day. Even if you could strap a person in a chair and explain point by point why Sweden and Denmark work as social democracies, they still wouldn’t get it.
Trump will absolutely attack Bernie for being a socialist, and the problem compared to the other candidates he would attack for being a socialist is that the suburban Democratic voters would actually believe him. Bernie absolutely will upend the system, and a lot of people are still benefiting from that system. People like my parents. They have a good amount of money but are not rich. Taxes going up on them will impact their daily lives, and most of the benefits Bernie is advocating for would not benefit them. There is a lot of good research out there that suggests the key for Democrats to win across the board is to get the suburban moderate vote. And there is a legitimate argument that Bernie will not get that vote. Now, one can say that those voters would never vote for Trump. But you must remember a very important thing about politics: white people can get pretty racist when they think you’ll take money away from them.
But here’s what I love about Bernie. He is entirely genuine in his advocacy for the poor and working class. Most politicians say they care, of course. They give a speech supporting raising the minimum wage or not cutting Medicaid. But they also tie themselves with rich donors and businesses whenever they can. They support the poor until there is a good reason not to. Not Bernie. He’s been singing the same tune since the sixties. He doesn’t care if it isn’t popular. He’ll make it become popular. Bernie almost single handedly shifted the conversation on universal health care. We are talking about paid family leave and free college because of him. And the man deserves credit for that.
Bernie has been hit a lot from the Democratic establishment. People are still sore that he had the audacity to challenge Hillary Clinton. Even though he endorsed and campaigned heavily for her after dropping out in 2016, there is still a narrative that he sabotaged her campaign. Let’s be clear, though. The reason why the establishment Democratic contingency dislikes Bernie is because he thinks they are just as corrupt as the Republicans. Which is true. Democrats work out of the same bubble as Republicans. They rub shoulders with the same Wall Street donors. Try calling up your Democratic Senator to get an in-person meeting. Now look at who does get those meetings. I support Bernie because he actually is trying to change our corrupt political system. A politician can’t work within the given system without being corrupted by it. The system is a cancer that needs to be destroyed.
Bernie has said some dumb things and has held some dumb positions. This can’t be denied. He’s been accused of being a racist, sexist and homophobe. Some of this is absolute bullshit and some of it is based on dumb things he’s said. But judging by the policies the man has supported, the votes he has taken, and what he has said during the 2016 and 2020 campaigns, does anyone honestly believe him to be a racist, sexist or homophobe?
If you are having a tough time getting behind Bernie, I’d ask yourself the following questions:
Do you honestly believe he would pursue anti-women and anti-reproductive rights policies?
Do you think a more robust paid family leave policy, along with a policy promoting affordable childcare, would significantly benefit women?
Do you think Bernie would restrict LGBTQ rights or would he expand protections for this group?
Do you genuinely believe Bernie would support or champion policies that would discriminate against black people?
Do you think health care is a crisis in this country and everyone should have access to it? If so, do you think Bernie makes the situation better or worse?
Do you think a president should fill his administration with people from the financial and insurance industries? Do you think Bernie would do this?
Do you think millionaires and billionaires should be taxed more and more money should go into programs that help the poor and middle class?
Should college be free or at least much more affordable?
Ask yourself these questions. Don’t worry about whether he can get them passed. Truth is it will be tough for any Democrat to get anything passed. I’d be looking at which candidates are most willing to use executive orders (hint: it’s Bernie).
We can’t keep hedging our votes on what’s practical because the truth is everything is doable with enough willpower. Think about how insane Social Security is as a legislative success. We taxed everyone, rich and poor, to provide money to senior citizens for the rest of their lives. That’s insane, and we did it. Same with Medicare. If you think are country needs massive changes to secure our future, vote for the candidate who is advocating for massive changes. That candidate is Bernie Sanders and…..
Elizabeth Warren. Everything good about Bernie can also be said about Elizabeth Warren. This is a person who literally created an agency designed to help consumers go against corporations. Warren has correctly diagnosed the problem for wealth and income inequality and a lot of the bad shit that’s been happening to the American worker. Corporations suck. Rich people suck. They both need to be taxed way more and we need to use those funds to give benefits to the poor and working class. Warren has a plan for pretty much everything, and that is a great thing. She doesn’t talk in platitudes about restoring dignity to the working class. She identifies the problem and comes up with an actual solution.
And for her efforts she gets skewered by her opponents and the media. When Pete Buttigieg says we should invest more in affordable housing, no one pushes back on exactly what that means. But when Warren releases a comprehensive plan to pay for Medicare for All, she is eviscerated. Her plans should be critiqued, but they should also come with the acknowledgement that she has put in the work and is way more open with the American people than the other candidates. The media and voters need to start making candidates pay a price for not articulating actual plans for their policy goals.
Warren is fucking smart and driven. She has the brain and energy to do the job. She’s not a crackpot; she’s an advocate for the little guy. Honestly, there isn’t much to criticize Warren on outside of how she will pay for her policy proposals. But the media will attack what little they have while giving Trump and the more moderate Democrats a pass. When Trump or Biden talk about strengthening the military, no one will ask what that means and how much it will cost. But when Warren comes up with a tax plan to pay for free childcare, every single pundit will pounce the second some study comes out that her funding is off by a few million.
Of course, the dumbest part is the idea Warren needs to fully fund any proposal. Right now, the economy has been doing great for about five years. And in that whole time, we’ve been running huge deficits. Maybe government spending without offsets isn’t such a big deal. Warren can’t say that because the media won’t allow her to. It would be great if Warren could just say “things are going great now despite a trillion-dollar deficit, so why not get free healthcare for a $2 trillion-dollar deficit?”
That’s what I love most about Warren. The lines of attack against her are so shitty. Bernie has legitimate concerns that the Republicans will easily exploit. The best they can do with Warren is attack her policies, which are broadly popular. And with Warren, you get a bunch of different contingencies that will come out for her. You have women and those who want to see our first female president. You get progressives excited about finally having a candidate who advocates for them with a fighting chance. And because she is being so careful not to raise middle class taxes, I think you get a lot of the suburban vote.
I think Warren can win this thing. She articulates the message well, she lacks genuine baggage and when compared to Trump, she comes off even better.
So who is my final pick? I’m going with Elizabeth Warren. Not only does she hold most of the same policy positions as Sanders, but she also is fundamentally opposed to the corporate interests that got us to this point. And I think she can better cajole moderate Democrats to support her agenda. Finally, I think she comes with less baggage.
What I would love to see, based on the polling, is for Warren to either win or come in second by a close margin to Biden or Buttigieg. Sanders would drastically underperform, at which point if New Hampshire was also going poorly, he could drop out and swing all his support to Warren. That would make her the clear front runner. Let’s see what happens.
Elizabeth Warren
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
A story about an Angry Norwegian, a Petty Mom, teenagers, a woman who just wants to sleep, and a tired train host.
Okay. So. For some reason I thought about a man that I sometimes think about, because what happened was so absolutely absurd that it has just stayed with me, lodged firmly in my mind and refusing to leave.
Which, honestly? I’m grateful for. Because of the absurdity.
You see, I was fifteen, I was on a train on my way home from the second day of a concrete festival (a music festival without the camping). I was very happy that this festival was close to me, just a 45 minute train ride and ten minutes by tram.
Anyways, I was on my way home. And my friend and I were talking to some other teens about the festival. We were having fun and joking around with each other, and I decide to snap a photo.
It was 00:03 at night, the train lights were dimmed, and my automatic flash goes off on my clunky, state-of-the-art 5 megapixel camera, rousing an older man in the seat row behind the people I’m talking to.
He is... pissed off.
He says I have to ask first, and I was like ??? I didn’t even know someone was sitting there! So I didn’t say anything, because I was dumbfounded.
I don’t know how the argument started, but it did.
This old man starts complaining about young people and their lack of respect, and thens starts boasting about how he’s a youth counselor (poor kids) from Norway, at which point one of my new friends starts speaking Norweigan.
I have an easier time understanding Norweigan than my other mother tongue, Danish, so I’m hanging on to every word. I am fascinated. This guy is arguing with us about everything under the sun, and then some, and through it all this girl is insulting him in Norweigan, and he’s insulting us back in Swedish. Six actual children, and this dude is ripping in to us. Until he (thought) he went in for the kill.
You see, (and this is actually relevant for the story) during WWII, Sweden stayed out of the fighting by being very obliging to the Nazis, letting them march through our country to attack Norway.
Some Norwegians are still pissed about it.
And lemme tell you, this dude certainly was.
“I’m not going to listen to you traitors anymore, you let the Nazis march through your country to enslave us, you’re just another generation of pushovers”
I was... stunned.
Here I am, fifteen years old, being verbally attacked by an old man at least 35 years older. He wasn’t even alive during WWII.
I’m not saying effects can’t be felt. But he’s looking at six teens, and blaming them for what the government did during the war.
At this point a mom to another teen who’s attended the festival decides to butt in. And the argument goes from weird to absurd. I can’t remember what they were saying. But I do remember the dude complaining about teens on public transport putting their feet on the seats, and the mom putting her feet on the seat to really rub her shoes in it. Petty, I know, but the look on his face was tremendous.
At some point I tell everyone to shut up and be happy, because a commuter has made eye contact with me and mimed that she wanted to sleep.
I think the guy was silent for all of two seconds before he launched in to another tirade.
We’re getting in on minute twenty of the argument when i realize what started it all. We have drifted far from the point and it’s now just a verbal back-and-forth between the Angry Norweigan and the Petty Mom. I pick my amazing digital camera from the bag, pull up the picture on the minuscule screen, and shove it in the Angry Norweigan’s face.
And he looks at me, scoffs, and says: “I don’t care about you.” In a haughty voice.
Normally I’d be offended, but I have by this time realized how utterly ridiculous he’s behaving. How childish and laughably immature. And I once again tell everyone to just shut up.
It takes the train host standing in the cart for three minutes for things to calm down, the second he leaves, however, the Angry Norweigan picks it up again, this time complaining more about my personal atrocious actions during WWII.
I, whose mother hadn’t even been conceived yet, I, whose grandparents hadn’t even met yet. I, personally, was apparently responsible for this dude’s grandparent’s suffering. And he was working hard to make sure I knew that.
I stopped listening, I have had lots of practice of just... not listening... So I applied that practice and started talking to my friend about the Japanese musicians we had seen, and how good it was.
Angry Norwegian was livid that I wasn’t paying attention to his insults.
We are nearing 40 minutes travel time, and the argument has lasted for half an hour.
I keep ignoring him, and as I stand up to get off the train, he looks smug, so I make sure to walk by his seat and say: “It was lovely meeting you.”
I swear I have never seen someone turn puce so fast in my life. He was spluttering like a dying engine in a snowstorm, actual saliva coating his chin as he chokes on his rage, vein at his temple looking ready to burst and lips turning white.
My friend and I are off the train by the time we start laughing at the literal explosion behind us.
I almost felt bad leaving Petty Mom in there with him as he started raging incomprehensibly about disrespect and a doomed world.
It made for a spectacular memory though. A memory that amuses me and baffles me in equal measure.
Because...
What. The. Fuck?
What the fuck???
WHAT the FUCK?
What?
#stories#it was a flash from the camera and suddenly I'm a Nazi conspirator#makes sense#logical leaps to be envied#personal#what the fuck?#what the fuck was his issue?#honestly what the fuck?#I do not endorse the actions of the Swedish government during WWII#absurd that I even have to say that#long post#text
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
#ACLA24#ACLA24HighSchoolStudents#youtube#youtube video#climate leaders#climate solutions#climate action#climate and environment#climate#climate change#climate and health#climate blog#climate justice#climate news#weather and climate#environmental news#environment#environmental awareness#environment and health#environmental#environmental issues#environmental education#environmental justice#environmental protection#environmental health#high school students#high school#youth#youth of america#school
20K notes
·
View notes
Text
Some Horror Recommendations For Halloween!
Well, the spookiest day of the year is upon us. Spooky for those of us that hate our doorbells ringing and the associated human contact, anyway. The true fear is entrenched social anxiety. Anyway, a lot of people’s halloween plans include holing up inside, with the curtains closed, in an attempt to spook themselves. In that spirit, I thought I’d list some of my favourite spooky media for you. Mostly games, but I’ll sneak some films and books in at the end.
The Games!
SOMA
Not one you want to play for the jump out and scream scares, SOMA’s fear is more of a slow build. It’s a very human-centric fear; the fear of losing what you are. It brings in uncomfortable questions about the reality of the human mind and whether memories are the basis of who we are. If those memories, and our subsequent personality, are copied into another body, then are they the same as us? What if you found out that your consciousness only kicked in about a week ago?
It’s let down a little by the wibbly-wobbly screen effect as soon as you see a monster, but the questions it raises are more effective. Plus, it has a fantastic underwater setting.
Dead by Daylight
A multiplayer affair that does a great job of emulating the classic slasher flicks of old. While you can get your kicks by playing as the killer, and having fun with a ton of meat hooks, the real fear comes when you play as the survivors. Attempting to fix a generator and then hearing the ominous music signalling the approach of the killer is terrifying. You never know what direction to go in and panicking will just lead the killer to you sooner.
The community is very all over the place from what I’ve heard, so you might experience some of the usual vitriol and obsessively good players, but if you can find a good group then you can have fun and fear for hours.
Oxenfree
For a change of pace, here’s a horror game with genuinely good writing. It tells the story of a group of friends coming together for a party which unfortunately gets crashed by a dimensional rift. That leads the group to experience supernatural phenomena all over the place, as their friendships get pushed to breaking point. It’s very old school horror, with campy kids trying to survive. I love it.
The writing and dialogue is top notch and while it may not be classically scary, it’s absolutely worth playing through at least once.
Outlast 2
Okay, so, I’m not the biggest fan of Outlast 2. But sometimes you just want some stupid horror; to run away from murderers in a panicked frenzy. Outlast 2 gives you that and then some. Drizzle on some fanatical religious horror and you have an exciting game. Fairly gruesome, too, if that’s your cup of tea. Enjoy being nailed to a cross.
It has a good few problems, not least the lack of direction in the chase sequences. You might have to repeat them a few times but for sheer panic, Outlast 2 is second to none.
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
It would be remiss of me not to mention one of the most well known horror games. An adventure game with a sadistic twist, Amnesia stars a man named Daniel, who’s (shockingly) lost his memory. He wakes up in a strange castle, with instructions to deal with the man behind everything, Alexander. Daniel has nothing to defend himself with and the castle is filled with hostile creatures.
Amnesia can be credited with popularising the sanity mechanic, for better or for worse. While it’s many copy-cats have begun to grate, Amnesia’s use of it taught us to cling to the light, for fear of what’s out there in the darkness.
Resident Evil 7
Another game that has a host of problems. Regardless of the weird goo monsters that drag down an otherwise amazing game, the true fear of Resident Evil 7 presents itself right at the beginning: Jack Baker. An unkillable man, capable of smashing through walls just to get to you. He’s everywhere, at any time and no matter how many bullets you put into him, he keeps coming back.
It’s worth playing just for him. He may look like a man but he’s far, far worse. And he could be around any corner.
Lust For Darkness
Same sorta issue here too. Horror games rarely skate by on their gameplay and Lust for Darkness has other problems too. While it may not be the best game around, it’s an unashamed look into the world of Lovecraftian horror. It’s worth playing because it doesn’t hold anything back and is a good example of the spiral into madness inherent in these works. The cult at the heart of it has long since ceased to be human and it’s dragging our protagonist down with it.
Just don’t play this one on the family computer, eh?
The Forest
A game that can be as creepy as you make it, as you can turn off all the enemies if fear isn’t your cup of tea. Still, when they’re on it becomes a game where fear is always at the back of your mind. You can make the perfect base, complete with farm and water supply, only for it to echo with the sounds of fists on wood as you get surrounded. Not only that, but eventually you’re going to be caught out at night. Once the bigger lads come out, it becomes genuinely tense at night. At least in the day, you can see them to avoid them.
Definitely one of the better survival games and a good horror game. Mostly because your survival depends on a bit more than finding a handful of berries.
Films
The Invitation
A very slow burner, one for the start of the night I imagine. It revolves around a man, currently going through his own trauma, being invited to a party at an old friends house. Seems fine, until the host busts out a video about a cult he’s become part of. That rather puts a damper on the party. The tension ramps up as the protagonist gets slowly more paranoid about the hosts true intentions for inviting them there.
As I said, a slow burn but one’s that worth sitting through, especially for the chilling ending.
The Ritual
Also a book, which I’ll mention later. This extremely British film is about four guys hiking across the Kungsleden trail in Sweden, in memory of their friend who was killed in a robbery. They get pretty tired of their two-hundred-plus mile journey and instead take a shortcut through a forest, which goes horribly wrong. As they get hopelessly lost, it becomes clear that something is following them, which causes their friendships all to break down.
Well acted and genuinely spooky, well worth a watch.
The Cabin in the Woods
Cabin in the Woods is a definite rarity. A parody horror film that manages to be scary at the same time as funny. It takes the usual trope of a bunch of high school kids going off to a cabin in the woods and then goes out of its way to subvert absolutely everything. The entire thing is orchestrated by a group of scientists, who need everything to be cliched in order to appease an old God.
Of course, it doesn’t quite go as planned and that’s where the fun comes in. Definitely one to watch if you enjoy equal parts horror and comedy.
1408
A lighter one to end the film suggestions. 1408 is an adaption of a Stephen King short story, featuring John Cusack as a paranormal investigator. One of those modern ones, who doesn’t believe a damn thing he writes. The majority of the film takes place in this one hotel room, which I thought was a neat trick. It’s a bit of a roller coaster of scares though, meaning it’s just scare after scare, but that’s kind of the point. It’s the room deliberately messing with its occupant.
I doubt it’ll win any awards but it’s good for a handful of scares.
Books
The Necronomicon
A bit of a cop-out, to be honest, naming a big selection of stories but honestly, you need to read Lovecraft if you’re interested in horror. It’s admittedly hard to do so, given his purple prose and tendency towards racism, but the foundations of his stories still hold up today. If you’re not interested in the Chtulu stuff, then try reading stories like The Colour out of Space. It’s good reading and forms the basis of my favourite kind of horror.
The Ritual
Mentioned up there but it’s worth reading too. Adam Nevill has quite a down to earth writing style, punctuated with well realised internal thoughts. The relationship between the characters is explored in much more depth than the films, which makes what’s happening to them all the more tragic. If you liked the film then definitely read the book, to further explore the characters and setting. While the ending of the book dragged on for a bit too long, the bulk of it stands up just a bit higher than the film.
The Shining
Don’t need to say too much about this one but I’m always torn as to whether I like the book or the film more. While the book does push the supernatural stuff a bit too hard, it’s spookier because it shows the steady decline of Jack Torrance. Nicholson’s portrayal is great but the character seems unhinged right from the get-go. The scary part of the book is seeing this troubled man, who genuinely loves his family, descend to the point where he’s a danger to them.
The Haunting of Hill House
A book that’s resurged in popularity after the Netflix series last year, it’s a great example of a haunted house story. There aren’t any major scares in it, instead it relies on drip feeding in creepy moments in order to come to one big climax. It’s an interesting book, even if it does all start blending together by the end. If you like your supernatural stuff slow building, then give it a read.
There, that should keep you busy for Halloween. If you’re not continually interrupted by kids looking for candy then keep those curtains shut, turn down the lights and put on something spooky. See you in November!
#Halloween#Horror#Survival Horror#The Forest#Lust For Darkness#Resident Evil 7#Outlast 2#Amnesia: The Dark Descent#The Shining#The Ritual#SOMA#Oxenfree#Dead by Daylight#The Haunting of Hill House#The Cabin in the Woods#The Invitation
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Kind of Two Years Has it Been
At the end of an experience, and therefore a blog, I usually write a reflection on the experience. The Master's programme ended six years ago and due to life and procrastination and other excuses, I'm finishing this blog only now. But this delay has its advantages, because I know how the story ends and I can tell you what happened to the characters. So maybe, for the first time, this is truly an epilogue.
The journey to this program started in 2012. I was living in Germany and working as a consultant. I always knew I wanted to work first before continuing with any kind of education, because toward the end of undergrad, I had classes with grad students and the ones who had work experience before going back to school seemed to bring more to the experience from applying what they learned from the real world. As I researched Master's programmes, I focused my search in Europe because I was still paying off the loans for my Bachelor's degree. I Googled another program when the MIND programme turned up in the results. After a process of applying, obtaining references, phone interviews and traveling to Munich from Stuttgart to take the GRE in Germany (really), even though this is Europe, the choice came down to Humboldt University in Berlin, with a scholarship from the DAAD, and the MIND programme, with a scholarship from the European Commission. (Lappeenranta University of Technology in Finland takes a close third because I had a really, really pleasant scholarship interview with a very pleasant young man and sometimes I think about how my life might be different if I went there and studied Innovation Management instead.)
I'm sure there was a long decision process and I'm sure I spent a lot of time thinking about it, like most decisions. This all took place eight years ago and I cannot remember the salient details. But I can imagine that I felt like it was time to leave Germany, even though I love (LOVE) Berlin, and the appeal of having an adventure in two countries (I didn't yet know that Asia was on the table) was great. So I gave notice at the consulting firm, said goodbye to my friends in Stuttgart, (wrapped up my last performances as a roller skating Greek muse in the local military base's production of Xanadu - that's real) and moved to Sweden.
In the two years that ensued, I met the best people, took wild risks, had the best time, made my dreams come true and had the adventure I sought. I lived.
I lived in Sweden for a year and was inspired by their example of how to treat guests in your country. I had a job interview in a sauna in the winter and learned what gender equality in society might actually look like. After an application process, I had the opportunity to spend a semester in Thailand. In Thailand I learned how to get from the university to town (Bangkok) and back again. I hosted a cultural show that lasted for eight (or more?) hours. I felt closer to my mom than I had ever understood before. C pointed out that after the midterm exams, I have sat for exams on three continents. I celebrated my birthday at a German brewery in Bangkok. I saw Angkor Wat after the semester ended. I went to all the Disneylands in the world (at the time...back then, there were only 11 parks). I didn't stay long in Austria, but I was there long enough to experience a Buschenschank and run into visa problems. I also saw Carousel and Cabaret in German, and puzzled as to why it was an hour longer than Cabaret in English, which I saw soon after on Broadway. In Glendale I lived in a conference room turned into an ad hoc intern bullpen for four and a half months writing my thesis. I saw things I had been nearby my entire life but never dreamed of seeing in reality.
Blogs are cheesy and navel-gazey but I am glad I did it. I am glad that this and the Germany Part I blogs exist. Sometimes I will look at an old post because someone asked for a travel recommendation (for example), and I will discover something that I forgot. I didn't remember that I was contacted by Swedish public radio to talk about the 2012 United States election. I forgot I had this conversation at NASA JPL about living in Germany. So what's the moral of this paragraph? If you can't blog, at least journal. You think you will remember the exciting things that happen in your day to day life but the truth is, you won't. I am proof!
What happened to everyone? Some stayed in Europe. Some went home. Some went home in Europe. Some got married. Some had babies. Some moved to Amsterdam. Many stayed in Sweden. When I left C, she wanted to stay in Italy. She has since worked her way up to an awesome job at a major company and had a baby! A has moved and is engaged to be married! I was happy to attend C's wedding in Ankara in 2015. I was happy to attend Z's wedding in Czechia last year, and to see my friends again at both.
What happened to me? I accepted an internship in Florida where I spent about five years (and made a bunch of new friends and had a bunch of good times) before moving back to the country where I left when this all started. To be honest, I never expected to be back. Not in this country. In 2017, I was fortunate to attend my class reunion in Leiden; it was also the celebration of the closing of the program. They invited all alumni back to watch the last class graudate. I met the newest generations of the program and saw a lot of old friends. It was just like old times. I came to the first afternoon of the organized program. I thought we would observe the new kids doing their work. No. We kicked off with a case exercise and divided into groups to discuss and then present our results. Our groups consisted of current students, alumni, professors and mentors. In Europe, we are all equal. It was just like old times.
The rest of the program consisted of lectures, discussions and watching the final presentations of the graduating class. Before I left for this trip, I joked that my master programme was ending because it lost funding (truth) from the European Commission because of Brexit (also true but I didn't realize it until I got there and they confirmed that Brexit was one of the factors that cut funding to the programme). There was a party the final evening. In the way that we do. I remember telling all my friends that it would be a very long time before I will see them again. I couldn't foresee an immediate excuse to get to Europe and hang out with them. The day I returned to work in Florida from the trip, I received an email about joining a project that is based in Germany. If I chose to accept this mission, I would have to move to Germany for a period of time. What.
I learned later that, basically, someone found out that I know German. (I promise that I have other skills.) When I was in high school, if you told me I was going to move to Germany, I would have said that you're crazy. I was just this nerd who went to Space Camp and really liked The West Wing and Saturday Night Live. If you told me I was going to move to Germany twice, I would have said, "Then why did I spend all this time learning Spanish?" (among other questions) I know that's true, because I did ask myself that in the first two months of intensive language school in 2010. But the truth is, Germany made things happen for me. When I talk to young people who (for some reason) ask for my advice, in addition to telling them to "follow your dreams," I also tell them the story of how moving to Germany (the first time) changed my life. (And then I tell them why so they know I'm not exaggerating.)
I couldn't refuse. I'm back in Germany. I'm working on getting better at German.
I should have seen this coming. The fall I moved to Sweden in 2012, I came back to Germany to celebrate Thanksgiving. During my Swedish spring, the squad from Germany came to visit Sweden and I put in my tea and hairspray requests (from dm, of course). After my thesis defense in 2014, my first destination was Nuremberg to see E, then on to Quakenbrück to wait with C who was finishing her defense. I attended S's wedding in Leipzig in 2015. I went to Oktoberfest in Munich in 2016. The point is, I cannot stay away from Germany. This is evident and not a surprise.
So far, I have been fortunate that this opportunity has allowed me to meet up with so many friends. A and M are in Amsterdam and have introduced me to Y and T, who are also in the MIND network. S is back in Oslo from Thailand. A is in London. S has moved from Stuttgart to Berlin. A and P and B and K and E are in New York. I still cite the meal in Haarlem (note that's Haarlem in the Netherlands, not Harlem, but I can see why you might be confused because I just mentioned New York) as the best I've ever had and J told me that the restaurant has received a Michelin star since 2014 when we were there so now it's overpriced and overrated. So funny! At Z's wedding in Czechia last year I was happy to reconnect with A, B and M. Everyone else, I'm coming for you! (And I mean that in the creepy way!)
What's going to happen next? Let's find out! Thank you for reading and joining the adventure.
Good night, have a pleasant tomorrow and see you in the future!
Lauren
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
HC: Radio Morning Show Hosts AU
Imagine a universe in which Gabe and Tyson are co-hosts of a morning radio show on AVS FM. Tys is constantly trying to slide into co-hosting the lunch/early afternoon/late morning slot with MACKDOG (aka Nate) but their boss likes the Gabe/Tyson chemistry too much to let them break up.
Also all their listeners kind of ship them because Tys is always describing Gabe as like a beautiful golden viking stallion - getting more flustered and touchy whenever Gabe presses him about it. Or when someone calls in to try to also comment on it Gabe gets really awkward and laughs uncomfortably while Tyson agrees wholeheartedly - Gabe is one of the most beautiful people alive.
Whenever Tyson is out sick or generally anyone tries to also get in on Gabe’s ribbing of him Gabe has NONE of it and always defends that Tyson is SO FUNNY AND SHARP AND SELF-DEPRECATING and you could nEVER measure up to him.
Basically Gabe just plays straight man to Tys’s random craziness and their regular listeners are waiting for the day they wake up married to each other by accident.
Their show is a mix of things, random news, traffic, and celebrity gossip, they both always comment on hockey and cheer for canada and sweden in respective world championship things and chirp each other and are endlessly fond of each other.
Tyson has a segment that's just him updating everyone on what the Kardashians are up to so no one has to actually keep up with them and when he's sick Gabe does it and he's like: "...well...a lot of them have k names..."
and then Tyson gives him endless shit for not even trying - and Tyson talks to him about them ALL THE TIME.
Anyway as we mentioned Tyson is always trying to escape their show doing anything he can to get out of the morning.
"WE COULD HAVE A TYSON-N-TYSON SHOWWWW THOUGH!” He screamed at a retreating afternoon host Josty, "THINK OF THE TYSON TUESDAYS!!"
(this universe has no female hosts and idk why but like it's a terrible drought and they are all the poorer for it)
Gabe just gets increasingly concerned and slightly hurt that Tyson keeps wanting to bail out of the show on him. Morning show is like THE BIG NAMES, IT'S THE COVETED POSITION! And they get to take so many naps! But that 4 AM call time is ROUGH sometimes. Tyson is just desperately trying to get some distance (also some sleep).
“You don’t get it, Nate I AM LOCKED IN A BOOTH WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN ALIVE EVERY MORNING MINIMALLY CAFFEINATED.” He hisses at Nate while he patiently replies to facebook messages, “He smells so good, all shower fresh in a little intoxicating sound proof box, just reciting the traffic report like it's no big deal. CAN'T HE SEE I’M DYING LITERALLY EVERY MORNING?” Nate rolls his eyes at Tyson and shoves him out of the way to tug his headphones on, ignoring the rant that he’s been listening to since Tyson started with Gabe day one.
They also spend a distressing amount of time hanging out too, because NO ONE HAS TIME OFF TO GET DRINKS ON THE PATIO AT NOON AND THEN BE IN BED BY 7. NO ONE. So Gabe is kind of depressingly Tyson’s BEST FRIEND. Like Nate of course is his best friend forever, but he spends so much time with Gabe, every day, they text and do errands and hang out. They also watch hockey together and ending up sleeping on each other because those games be long and they start at like 5 earliest their time - and it’s a distressing trend to wake up pillowed on Gabe’s chest like he could actually BELONG THERE.
It’s enough to drive a man mad.
Then, one Valentines day the station hosts a contest for Tyson who is endlessly and painfully single and complains about it. So they create a bit where he goes on 14 dates with different people leading up to Valentines Day where one winner will get a fancy steak dinner with him etc etc. They get the evening guy (Night time with Nail - He’ll YAK you to sleep) to call up these dates on air after they’re finished and get the scoop on how it went.
Gabe is unreasonably grumpy during this period of time, to the point he’s actually kind of short on air.
Tyson of course complains to Nate about it when he rolls in for their shift overlap and Nate just looks at him like he’s dumb.
“Of course Gabe is being pissy, he has to listen to you while you dissect going on two weeks worth of shitty dates.”
“You have to listen to me too and you’re not acting like I died your dog blue.”
“I’m not in love with you.”
“Neither is Gabe.”
“Okay, Tys, keep telling yourself that.”
Tyson thinks Nate is probably smoking whatever it is that all their listeners are on because they’re actually getting a lot of complains about the bit - how it’s insensitive, and poor ol’ Gabe. They’re all sniffing glue if they think Gabe is acting like sour grapes because he’s jealous of all of Tyson’s dates. He could pick up anyone he wanted any time he wanted!
And besides it’s not like the dates are going well, Yak keeps reporting that all the dates think he’s very Cute and Charming but he spends too much of the date complaining about how annoying Gabe is being - like he’s really preoccupied.
Nate gives him many Significant Looks™ about it.
So it goes that their producers definitely think it’s coming to a point where they need to intervene and with Nate and Josty and Yak’s input they pull some strings so the last date Tyson has before Valentines day - he stumbles into the restaurant and gets led to a table in which Gabe is waiting.
Tyson: Is this a sick joke?
Gabe: Nate said the producers were getting tired of getting emails about us
Tyson: God. That’s so embarrassing, I’m so sorry. I keep trying to get my shift swapped around maybe I need to change stations entirely.
Gabe: No! No that’s not. That’s not what I want. That’s not what anyone wants.
Tyson: Why are you here? Wait are you here to fire me????
Gabe: I’m not -- Tyson! I’m here to go on a date with you, sit down.
Tyson: Date? A real date?
Gabe: Is that so hard to believe? That I could possibly think you’re clever and funny and hot?
Tyson: ??????????????????????????????????? No?
Gabe: Sound more sure of yourself.
Tyson: This isn’t a prank?
Gabe: Unfortunately no. I’m actually into you and it took an entire city’s worth of people complaining to our bosses to get you to actually go out with me.
Tyson: You never asked!!
Gabe: We’re not arguing about this any more!
Tyson: We need to argue, how is the rest of our lives going to go if we don’t argue
So basically Tyson gets a clue, and spends the next show insufferably smug about how hot his boyfriend is, and they get many callers in wishing them well - also to make fun of the fact that their anniversary is now Valentines day. A terrible fate.
They give away the steak dinner to a random listener and spend their Valentines at home, eating at 5 and crashing by 6:40, and it’s perfect.
BONUS
MIKKO THE STATION INTERN that Gabe is SO DELIGHTED BY and Tyson sees them palling around while Gabe is showing Mikko around the booth and yelps: "ARE THEY CLONING YOU NOW??? HOW IS THAT FAIR?? YOU SHOULD NEED A PERMIT AT LEAST FOR THAT."
#headcanons from the icy void#gabe/tyson#hockey rpf#gabetyson#i love this HC#it is near and dear to my heart#also we definitely thought of it before Nail went back to russia#WE MISS YOU NAIL
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
We push and pull like a magnet do ∞chapter four∞
Chapter 4
The rest of the day at work went by fairly quickly, even though I was really tired. Before I knew it, it was almost 5 pm, time for me to wrap up and go back home. As I was getting my things, my phone rang and I had a quick look, seeing my friend Nina’s name on the screen. I sighed, I knew what she wanted to talk about. Nevertheless, I pressed answer, and left my office.
“Hey girl!” she said excitedly on the other line and I rolled my eyes.
“Hey Nina,” I said softly, I was never as loud as she was.
“I got tickets, Hana! Me and my brother will be going to see Ed tonight at Swedish idol!”she practically screamed in my ear and I grimaced.
“Aww I’m happy for you, you’ll let me know how it goes?” I asked, trying to sound interested for her sake.
“Of course I will, I still wish you’d come with me though,” she said, almost pleading me.
“No, I’m sorry Nina, I’m so tired and I have to make dinner tonight,” I said softly and I heard her sigh on the other end.
“At least watch it on the tv tonight?“ she asked and I agreed. Watching it on tv wouldn’t hurt me one bit. After talking to her on the phone, I got home and went straight into the shower. I felt gross. After getting out of the shower, I spent some time with my sister and my mum, before getting to dinner. I decided to make spaghetti Bolognese. It was something easy that I knew they both liked. I spent a good hour in the kitchen, and then we all had dinner together. At around 8 pm, I got the chance to have the tv for myself and decided to put on Swedish Idol. As I was making myself comfortable, I decided I’d text him. I had been feeling lonely all day and I felt this urge to text him.
Me: Good luck tonight xx
I bit my lip but sent the text anyway. I put my phone away and started watching the show. After ten minutes my phone buzzed.
Ed: Thank you.
Ed: I wish you were here to see it though… I’ve missed you.
I smiled a bit. How could one person have this effect on me? Against my better judgement, I decided to text him back.
Me: I’m watching it on Tv at home :)
As soon as I hit send, my message was marked with “read” meaning that he was on his phone, waiting for me to text back. Somehow that made me feel emotional, he actually wanted to hear back from me. Before I knew it he had replied.
Ed: I’m glad you are, thank you. Hana, I’m singing for you tonight. Can I call you after I’m done?
I took a deep breath. He was singing for me. Was that the reason he had been calling and texting a lot? Did he come here for me? I wanted to talk to him this time, I needed to know why.
Me: Are you busy after all this? The studio you’re at is really close to my house, I can drive up and we can talk?
My heart was racing as I pressed send. This was so bold. So unlike me. But I had a feeling that this was my last chance to see him. And as much as I was scared, I needed to see him, even if it was for the last time. My phone buzzed again and I took a deep breath before looking at the text, I was scared he’d say no.
Ed: Yes, please! But I don’t want you driving at night, can you text me your address and I’ll have someone pick you up?
I couldn’t help but smile slightly as I read his text. After giving it some thought, I texted him my address and he replied saying he’d get someone to pick me up. I spent the next hour or so getting ready. I had the tv on still as I applied some makeup to my face and straightened my long hair. I wanted to make some effort in seeing him this time. I chose to wear a denim shirt with black skinny jeans and a pair of Chelsea boots. When I was done, I sat down just in time for Ed’s first performance. He performed I see fire with the contestants. The first part was amazing as he sang it solo, but I could see it in his eyes that he hated the bit where the others came in, they were talented, yes, but they completely ruined the vibe of the song. I laughed a little, no one could truly sing like him.
After some time it was time to vote and just as I was about to sit down again, my phone buzzed and it was the driver, letting me know he was downstairs. I wasn’t ready for that, I thought I was meeting him after the show. I put my coat on nonetheless, getting out of the house and locking the door. As I went downstairs, my phone buzzed again and this time it was Ed.
Ed: I hope it’s okay that you come earlier, I really want you to be there for my last performance.
I smiled and let him know it was okay. Once I was out of the house, I went into the car that was parked right outside my door. I was silent as the driver drove me to the studio. The drive wasn’t that long, as the studio where the live Friday shows are held, happens to be about ten minutes from where I live. Once we got there, a security guard met up with me and told me to follow him backstage. I gulped. I had never been backstage at any event before. He handed me a badge and showed me to where I could see Ed perform close up. I saw Ed walk up on stage and everyone started screaming. I had forgotten how famous he was.
I blinked as he started strumming his guitar and singing. It was one of his new songs, Thinking out loud. I didn’t know how he did it, but I could feel him singing for me, about me. And that made me feel really emotional, and nervous. Before I knew it, the song was over and after chatting briefly with the host, Ed was making his way backstage, literally towards me. Within a few seconds, I saw him come up and as soon as he spotted me, he smiled widely at me. He came over and immediately embraced me in a tight hug. For a split second, I didn’t know how to react, but I relaxed and put my arms around him, hugging him back. I unconsciously buried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. I could smell the faint scent of tobacco mixed with cologne and what must have been his own scent. He smelled really nice, even though he was sweating a little.
“Hi,” I whispered in his ear, as we were still stood there, hugging. He pulled away and looked straight in my eyes, still smiling. I blushed and looked down but he put two fingers on my chin and pulled my face back up towards his.
“Hey, beautiful.” He said and I couldn’t help but smile. I think we stood there for a good few minutes before someone came and tapped Ed on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry to break you two lovebirds up, but you’ve got that interview left that you so kindly agreed to do.” This man said and Ed groaned.
“Fine fine I’m coming, by the way, Stuart this is Hana,” Ed said and the man turned to me for the first time and gave me a warm smile.
“So you’re the miracle that made this guy come back to me.” He said and reached out to shake my hand. I raised an eyebrow, but smiled and shook his hand.
“Sorry love, I completely forgot about this, give me half an hour and I’ll be back, and don’t you dare move!” Ed said, and I nodded. He squeezed my hand before going to do his interview. I looked around and found myself an empty seat where I slumped down. I still had to wrap my head around everything that had happened. After a while, I started thinking and I realised how stupid I had been to act on impulse like this. Ed was a singer, a famous singer, how would we be able to spend time together? At some point, he’d have to tour, and I lived in Sweden, how would it all play out? After some time I felt someone tapping my shoulder and I looked up and saw that he was back.
“Hey, sorry about that, let’s go somewhere private.” He said and grabbed my hand before I could say anything. He dragged me out of the studio, and I could tell he was excited because he was practically dragging me along.
“Slow down Ed, I’m clumsy at this rate I’ll trip and break my nose,” I said and he laughed and slowed down. After a while we got into a car and sat down, waiting for the driver. He turned to me as we sat down and grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine. His skin felt rough against my hand, his fingers were calloused from all the guitar playing and his skin was also a bit dry.
“Why am I here, Ed?” I asked quietly, looking down at our hands. It felt right.
“I want to get to know you, Hana, I want to know what's going through your mind, what keeps you up at night, what makes you laugh and what makes you sad, I want you in my life,” he said and I just looked at him.
“But how is that going to work?” I whispered and he smiled reassuringly.
“It will work, we’ll take it as slow as you want to, and I’ll fly over here or fly you over whenever you want to,” he said and for a moment his eyes flickered down to my lips. I was biting my bottom lip and he traced it with his finger and leaned in. Just as his lips were about to touch mine, I turned my face so he kissed my cheek instead.
“I’m sorry, I’m just not ready,” I said and he just smiled.
“Its okay love, I’m never going to force you into anything, I just got caught up in the moment,” he said and I nodded. I squeezed his hand, reassuring him and he smiled again.
“How long are you here for?” I asked him thinking he only was here for the night.
“A few days love.” He said and I smiled.
“Fancy going for a McDonald’s ice cream date now?” I asked shyly and he laughed.
“Never thought you’d ask that sounds perfect to me, love,” he said and I giggled.
“They have the best ice cream,” I shrugged, and he agreed. The whole car ride he didn’t let go of my hand. I felt as if I was floating on air and I didn’t want the night to end.
#wepushandpulllikeamagnetdo#ed sheeran#ed sheeran fanfiction#ed sheeran fanfics#edsheeranfans#edward christopher sheeran#sheerios#pleaseread#mystory#fanfiction#fanfic#romance#love#comment#like#reblog
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
#ACLA24#ACLA24Leaders#youtube#youtube video#climate leaders#climate solutions#climate action#climate and environment#climate#climate change#climate and health#climate blog#climate justice#climate news#weather and climate#environmental news#environment#environmental awareness#environment and health#environmental#environmental issues#environmental justice#environment protection#environmental health#Youtube
20K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
astrid-1214
ASTRID
k1re
KIRE
jinxiejester
BOOM! 💥
goinsouth
Vientos del Sur
ryuji-ism
Founder of Ryuji-ism