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#GENUINELY EXCITED TO GET TO THE 5TH SAW TOO
splattermouth · 7 months
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also sorry to say but john kramer and his dollsona jigsaw may be becoming a blorbo
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opertabry · 1 year
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| notes; prologue
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[ synopsis; there’s a cute girl that always sleeps in your intro pysch class. she just so happens to be ginger AND your dorm neighbor ]
PROLOGUE;
I watched as she plopped herself on the chair again. Everyday for the past two semesters this girl, without fail, would sit right next to the window, two seats down from where I sat. She always looked tired, dark bags under her eyes, she would always walk into the lecture hall and sit down on that window seat and rest her head on her arms and sleep. I mean, come on, who pays this much for tuition and just walks into class to what? Rest your eyes? It's literally 2 in the afternoon.
No one took notice to her or seemed to care, honestly I don't think anyone cared about the class either (to be fair, it was intro psychology). I did though, even with the dark bags, the baggy hoodie, she was cute. As cute as a college student, who wanted nothing but to die, can be I guess. She never took notes in class, I figured she would be fine failing the class, so who cares right? Now, tell me why in the world am I feeling slightly bad for her as I write my notes down?
I watched as (I'm not creepy, trust me) her hood rode up slightly, exposing her newly dyed ginger hair to me. Ginger? Really? All the colors in the world, all the dyes that you could have chosen and this cute girl that I don't even know the name of, chose ginger? Like, come on cute girl, I liked you more when you were dirty blonde.
"Alright, guys, I can tell you're all very tired. You did a good job, let's pack it up."
A few relieved groans and a rushed stuffing my stuff in my bag later, I was out of the lecture hall and breathing in the fresh air as I walked towards my dorm. I froze as I saw cute girl punching in her code to her dorm. Okay pause, first off, how in the world did this girl get to her dorm faster than me? I was quite literally the first person to get out of that godforsaken lecture hall. And two, cute girl is my dorm neighbor? What in the literal fuck?
I put in my dorm code, swung the door wide open and slammed it shut with my eyes looking like saucers. My dorm mate, Hanni, was laying on the couch with TV remote in hand, while looking at me amused.
"Hanni FUCKING PHAM."
"WHAT? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?"
"Cute girl. Cute girl from intro psych. Next door. Ginger. WHAT THE FUCK."
"y/n calm your ASS down and tell me, with sentences, minimum 5th grade level. Can you do that for me, sweetie?" Hanni mockingly said, while sitting up.
"Okay I hate you, but remember cute girl I told you about? Always sleeps, hood on? From my intro psych class?"
"Mhm."
"She dyed her hair ginger AND she lives in dorm next to us? It's been literally TWO semesters, how have I not seen her?" I said, shock evident in my voice.
"Wait, wait. Does she look or act like the epitome of happiness, sunshine and rainbows?"
"What the fuck, no? She sleeps in class."
"Oh my god. Cute girl is Kang Haerin?"
"..Who?"
Hanni was about to open her mouth when we heard a knock on the door. We rolled our eyes as we assumed it was those frat boys who were playing ding dong ditch like little kids. We ignored it as I told Hanni to continue, and we heard another knock. I groaned as I pushed myself away from the couch and went to open the door.
"Hi! You must be my dorm neighbor, sorry, my name is Danielle!" She greeted with a weirdly happy, too happy look on her face for a broke college student that is most likely in debt.
"Oh Danielle! Hi, what brings you over here?" Hanni smiled as she walked up behind me.
"Nothing much, I just heard some yelling over here and wanted to check in on you guys. You're both alright, right?" She asked a worried expression plaguing her face.
"Yep, we were just really excited." I breathed out with a (not so) genuine smile.
"Alright, well. y/n right? Hanni told me and Haerin about you, it's nice to finally meet you! I'll get going now, Haerin wanted me to grab some things from the convenience store for her." Danielle waved as she left, not forgetting to smile (so hard I thought her face was about to combust. How does someone smile so much in college? Respect to her though).
I closed the door as I turned to Hanni with the fakest smile I could muster.
"You weren't kidding, huh?"
"Yep, sunshine and rainbows and fucking everything in between."
I mean at least I can put a name to a face now. Haerin. Kang Haerin. Cute name for a cute girl.
I guess.
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the-furies · 7 months
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Pls info dump about your system. I saw in your tag that you want to so consider this a free pass to do so I want to know all that ya want to share
HI!!!! SORRY YOUSENT THIS LIEK A WEEK AGO WE WERE WAITING 4 WHEN WE JAD ENOUGH ENERGY 2 INFODUMP JSISJDJFFNDJD OK OK UNDER THE CUT
WE ACTUALLY. ... DONT KNOW WEHRE 2 start Uhhhmmmm. hmmmm. OH MAYBE THE HEADSPACE!
ok SO the headspace changes DRASTICALLY like every few months or few weeks or so. Just a week ago it was a copy of the house we currently live in. We like,,, grew up in this house so it was Also our headspace for years as a kid and we had the vibe tht it was. The exact headspace frlm back then too bUT WE never did get to find out bc it changed AGAIN like a few days ago. smh. Now i think we're just above & outside of The Cave™™™™™ tht was discovered here earlier this year. WHICH IS REALLY FUCKING COOL! BECAUSE THAT MEANS:
The headspace survived the nuclear winter!!*
HOYL SHIT WE'RE IN THE MAIN HEADSPACE AGAIN LET'S GOOOOO <= has been stuck in Harry's headspace for the past half yearIEJFKDKFMC
[*Sometimes it just fucking gets Destroyed. Like... Semi permanently. As in, if it gets destroyed there is Very Little Chance we'll see that variation of our headspace AgainFHDJDKFKFJ and last we uhhjj Talked to anyone in the Main System, bc we are... TECHNICALLY A SUBSYSTEM! FJDJFJ, they were like Yeah no everything is fucking Destroyed <3. But that's not the case snymore ig???????]
SO w all this information actually if we rlly wanted we could probably make a decent map of the area. cuz if We jave this headspace back then we have Everythingggg it had in it back too & everything that it was connected to THAT'S NEAT WE MIGHT DO THAT!!
uhhjjj waht else. HMMM. i thuink our current front roster is neat TBH there's some guys active rn that we'd have never expected. like HI PHYS! WYD WHY R U HERE RN <3 QJAIWOSKSKDNCXN but it's fun !!!! i hope everyone innn our subsystem will fromt here at lEast once bc I Am Lov Collecting Informatión On Everyone <= Primarily fills out everyone's PK & Simply Plural descriptions. actually I think maybe everyone has fronted a sufficiently long enough time EXCEPT FOR HAND/EYE LIKE S I R GET YOUR ASS UP HERE TELL ME ABT YOURSELF BASTARD !! GJCJCKCKF all ik abt him is that He enjoys making Pokeblocks On Pokefarm. that is IT and that's NOT ENOUGH INFORMATION MY GUY but anyways.
i also think us Existing Here is so funny in itself like our asses rlly just got Possibly permanently isekai'd huh. like. like. Genuinely I don't know if our past mains r coming back at this point but that's FINE we already did the whole 96 stages of grief shit about it IF that be the case then SO be it Whatever there's pros to this life ig. like THIS body isn't on the verge of SUDDENLY DYING FOR NO REASON and also We have a cat. we have a cat!!!!! and a dog!!!!!! whaddahell!!!!!!!
there's lotsa fun shit here But there r also the Horrors. Like I PERSONALLY WOULD LOOVE TO EXIST with Out the Constant Paranoia And Delusions but IT *IS* PREFERABLE! OVER WHSTEVER THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH HARRY <3 AJSJDJF
I will say tho. When we uhhhhhhh All popped in & all we Just assumed we'd be Gone & dormant MONTHS AGO but ummmm . well. apparently not! sO the things we wanted 2 Experience have a High probability Of Happening,! Like PT is excited for Halloween and UNLESS those pirate fucks completely take over the roster within the next like week [0f.md s2 on the 5th babey!!! holy shit!!] then it's. Probably gonna happwn!!! which is so cool we don't actually... hey did Halloween exist in (source game)
man and speaking of. Memories Of The Past as we call source memories. It's a collective sys-wide trait thing All our fictives from aNY source rlly enjoy piecing together what they remember from their canons & all It's like enrichment for us. BUT we've been kinda piecing together a rough timeline of when We all formed in our canon That's our biggest Thought Project™ rn. No estimated time 4 when it'll be Complete tho probs never tbh. and w that in mind u may or may not believe who harry's first sysmate was According 2 what we've put togetherJTJEDKFKDJS
ok that's liek 5 trillion words Whoops. we r so talkatives <3 I am going to stop there it's like 5 am JFJDDKCKF we gotta go back to bedddd -E-Chem
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grumpylia · 4 months
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omg i just read the 5th chapter of your fic and i wanted to say that i LOVE it!!!
So i saw your post abt it yesterday and started reading at like midnight and i can not get enough!! Good thing it's a tuesday so i didn't have to wait long for an update hh
I love the way you write katie and how she feels to me like a real person, i know you said that at first many people would think that she's an annoying bossy teenage girl, but also, i've been there!! i was also the teenage girl who hated the troublemakers and was scared of breaking the rules (except i couldn't yell at them)
This is just my personal opinion but her bonding moments with the apollo cabin were for sure my favourite scenes, i just love them in general and i get do excited seeing katie interact with one of them!! i'm trying not to spoil here for future readers but the beach scene was so immaculate and definitely in my top 3!! on the other hand, the infirmary scene,...
I know this story is like a tratie endgame, but at several moments i was sooo convinced that katie's gonna have a thing or a moment with someone (which proved *mostly* wrong hh) so i'm still waiting to see how this plays out
Back to me saying how real these relationships are, i love how you convey all these complexities and emotions between campers, while also not forgetting that they're still SOOO young and most of them immature and WILL get into petty fights, but even then, there's still this sense of unity between them, or a camaraderie built by their shared experience (and trauma lol)
i'm looking forward to seeing how the demeter arc is gonna play out, but also what happened after the bday party (again trying not to spoil) and how idk i'm feeling there is some tension and doubt abt some campers' loyalties and their behaviour (katie would kill me for that). I feel like you've been building up for them in the last chapter so i can't wait for everything to blow up in our faces!!
Anyways this is getting pretty, and i still have soooo many stuff i have not mentioned (the last chapter actually brought me to tears, both happy and sad, and i could not be more glad about it) so sorry for clogging up your inbox, but i'm like very insane abt your fic so i had to scream at you about it!!
oh my oh my i actually think this inbox has made my whole day!!!! ive said it before and ill say it again its so crazy to me that people read my silly little story and i love love love talking about it!! thank you for this!!
first of all, thank you for the love re katie! i was sooo worried at first that she would initially come off too unlikeable, but i have been there too and it was important for me to get annoying bossy girl representation (don't worry, i couldn't yell at the troublemakers either)
i also adore the apollo cabin and i promise there is more to come with the apollo kids! one apollo kid in particlar (not named for the Mystery, although it might be pretty obvious who) is about to become a lot more prominent in katie's life and he is genuinely one of my favourite characters in the whole fic so i am so excited to see what you think of him!! im so glad you liked the beach scene! it's also one of my favourite scenes and its so lovely to hear that it resonates!! the infirmary scene...unfortunatrly there might be more where that is coming from :'( the apollo cabin in the pjo series are so deeply tragic and so personal to me
for now my lips are locked on any other potential romances.... i will just say that although it is tratie endgame there will be lots of twists and turns in getting there....
im so glad that the relationships are coming through as authentic!! i've always been a more character/relationship driven writer and through the process of writing this fic these characters and their friendships and bonds have become so real to me and you liking the way i portray their relationships (in all their immature, petty, trauma bonded glory) genuinely means the world to me <33
LMAO katie would kill you for that but also i fullheartedly agree with you. at this point, tensions are high and there is still a Lot to come: at the end of the day, they're children tryint to deal with these incredibly adult things and the culmination of all this tension is almost inevitable at this point
thank you again for this lovely lovely message! i literally was grinning ear to ear reading it: it means so much to me!! thank you thank thank you!! <333
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cosettepontmercys · 6 months
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Hi!!! I missed talking to you! I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. I am happy you had a nice trip though! I forgot to tell you that Boston makes me think of this one song from 5th or 6th grade with the lyric I think I'm going to Boston where no one knows my name..lol and I hadn't thought of that song in years. My brother's bday was good! We just made dinner for him but I got pretty drunk before I could eat cuz I had two drinks and 4 shots. At one point my sister was on the floor laughing so hard haha. I usually just like to have margaritas, or something in a can though. What about you? I'm guessing you don't have any siblings..do you? Your trip sounds fun. What musical and concert did you see? Hope you have more strength and get better soon. I hope I don't become sick during the winter months but I usually do.
Omg how were you 9 in 6th grade? Did you skip grades or is the school system just different internationally? I'm sorry..I really don't know so I'm genuinely asking haha. Was it also the Teardrops on my Guitar video!!! I remember finding it randomly in 5th grade and I never looked back haha. Ooh yes..so usually at the end of the year my sister and I pick out top 10 albums and songs of the year..so maybe I'll share a list when the time comes. I can recommend you a few of my favorites by them if you want just to see if you like it so just let me know..since that is not technically new music to me from this year. I think you recommended Del Water Gap to me once and I finally listened to his album last week and enjoyed it. This week, i am listening to new music from some of my favorite bands..Plain White Ts, Cannons and Bad Suns, which are kinda in a similar genre to Del Water Gap. Although his music almost sort of reminds me of the 1975 too. Tied Together with a Smile was probably really special cuz I think that was one of the only times she has performed it live. Ooh that's awesome! It would be a dream for me to go to the Europe tour to see her and Paramore but it sadly won't happen but I think that's so cool. It will be interesting if there will be any changes to the show by then.
It's literally one of my favorite movie musicals so I hope you can watch it soon. It's a little weird and crazy but also unique and interesting to me and I love it! Ya i think it's just different from the original movie cuz it felt more updated and modern. Idk how I feel about the cast..like Cady and Janis seem off to me but I like Renee so hopefully it's good but I don't have high expectations either. Idk if I will see it or not either. Oh wow cool! I'm not sure what immersive actually means but that's so far away haha. I can't imagine planning anything for then. Every concert I go to is usually so last minute but it seems cool.
I looked up the book and it seems pretty similar to conversations with friends actually so idk if I would like it. I've actually been reading Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes cuz the movie came out. I'm actually almost done and only have two chapters left. I was able to read it pretty fast but I basically speed read it and skim read some parts too. I think it was okay but I wasn't sure if I really liked it but I also don't usually read that genre either. It felt too long and was just okay to me. It definitely wasn't as interesting as Hunger Games. I think the movie will be better though and I might see it this weekend and can let you know how it is if I do. But I'm still proud of myself for mostly finishing it..since I never do that. But it has been on my shelf and I knew I wouldn't read it if I just saw the movie, but I also think you could just see the movie and don't have to read it. But you should definitely be familiar with hunger games if you do, but I hadn't read or couldn't remember much of Mockingjay and was fine so it's up to you.
It is pretty! I'm excited for the new Bleachers album and love the Japanese House album too. Sunshine Baby will probably be one of my fav songs of the year. I will listen to Sabrina's EP when it gets closer to Christmas. It seems like you have a lot of vinyls..I don't really play mine as much but just have a collection of old musicals cast recordings I can find and my absolute fav artists.
She sang Slut on the piano and I loved it so much! She also sang Suburban Legends and Stay Beautiful..which goes with my point about how those songs were pretty similar ideas. I always always connected Stay Beautiful and Dorothea since I first heard it and I think Suburban Legends is another layer of that. Also Maisie's song Truth is has a similar lyric to this song. I love the song a lot now and it has really grown on me. But in the song she says I always knew it and used the word ruin as well so I thought that was interesting, even if the songs are still pretty different. Then my sister pointed out that Taylor sings the lyrics truth is in one of the vault songs. I didn't believe her at first but she was right! She sings it in Now that we don't talk! Truth is I can't pretend it's platonic..its just ended, and it just felt like the craziest connection to me. She also sang Me and So it Goes as a pair! Haha well I would say the same for me and my sister..she is like dark and wears black and I'm more like Lover and love to wear pink. But I also love rep which also has a lot of love songs. I am also Red and Folklore haha but my aesthetic is definitely like Lover. So people seem very split on if new music or the other two rerecordings is coming first next year so I guess I'll ask your opinion on that. I kinda think she wants to finish out the rerecordings cuz of the eras tour but I can see an argument for her wanting new music out too I guess. As for rep..I think she will announce it at one of her next shows in February and sing IDSB to announce it since that's the only song left. I also think the karma video hinted at rep being announced around then. I also hope she is taking care of herself..especially after everything that happened this week. It made me so sad but also Taylor shows and music makes me feel better when I feel sad but I always hope she does what's best for her. Thank you. I didn't mean for it to come off that way really but I just wanted to let you know in case things get too busy for me. It was so nice to hear from you and I really hope you're taking care of yourself too!!!
hi hi friend !!! it is okay 🤍 i have laryngitis :( (and i'm still getting over the plague that i picked up in boston) so that's fun! it's funny because i texted my best friend that and she was like "who said that? webmd?" and i was like "no the urgent care doctor" 😭 but it's funny because i am very good at going down a webmd spiral </3
i don't have any siblings! i'm an only child! my drink of choice is usually white wine / rose — i really love trader joe's peach pie wine but that's seasonal (i stock up during the summer though)! i love my drinks sweet, and if i'm drinking something ✨ fun ✨ i'll usually get either a b-52, a lemon drop, strawberry daiquiri, peach bellini or a espresso martini. but not a very big drinker (especially in the last year, with all my health stuff). i hope you don't get sick in the winter either!! 🤍
you're totally fine! they start school earlier in hong kong, which is how i was 9 in 6th grade! it was indeed teardrops!! and then i went down a rabbit hole, found all her music — and her unreleased stuff — at that time, and then just fell in love! i would love to see your top 10 albums + songs of the year — i will do the same and we can chat about our favorites! and yes, i loveeee del water gap! i'm super bummed his seattle concert was when i was in boston, because otherwise i definitely would've gone. speaking of concerts, i had to sell my japanese house concert ticket which i'm really bummed about but ... given laryngitis and everything, it's definitely the right move. i've never heard of bad suns or cannons but i'll give them a listen soon 🤍 and yes, i loveee the 1975-esque sound, that's one of the things that first drew me to DWG!
i wonder if she'll sing castles crumbling instead of long live in europe, or if she'll do both, since hayley will be there? some of my friends are going and i'm really really excited for them — going to make them bracelets too!
i am very bad at doing things super last minute! i am incredibly type a which is something i'm working on! but i just really like knowing what i'll be doing next and all that!
i think i'm going to try to do a hunger games reread and then read TBOSAS in december!! i'm hoping to finish at least reading cleo & frank this month, and then work on night circus, les mis, and hunger games etc. in december? i'm trying to be a bit more realistic with goals and factor in plans and also ... sickness, since that just seems unavoidable at this point! let me know how you find the movie! it's taken over my entire tiktok fyp!
i have a lot of vinyls, yes! but i don't spin them as much as i should (oops)! i have some old musical cast recordings too (and some newer ones), but i actually very rarely listen to cast recordings on vinyl! i think once and sunday in the park with george are the only ones i've listened to? sitpwg was my first vinyl! very special to me 🤍
oh i love the truth is → parallel! and i was SO happy to hear her sing me! although i was manifesting it for my friend who is seeing her in tokyo! i just love how every surprise song pairing is so so so good. just like, a completely unmatched discography. and i also think she'll do reputation soon and then debut last! which would be great for ME! i want her to release debut close to the end of next year so i can bank on a debut vault song haha! i hope she's doing okay too :(
this is what i thought of when i read your message about you and your sister! my friend and i always joke this is us too:
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hope you have a good thanksgiving if you celebrate! / long weekend!! 🤍
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girl-by-the-lake · 2 years
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Just some (long) rambles through a strawberry field...
Ya’ll life has thrown a bitch a break and given me some major Wins lately. I went up to my summer camp last weekend, and not only did I get to go up a week early, it just... okay, I know it’s so cheesy, but it ~healed~ my soul. 
Ya know, life is tough. Gas is so expensive, ROE V WADE GOT OVERTURNED WTF, trying to find a full time job instead of my two part times even though I really like them, etc. etc. 
But then I got to go back up to camp. This is a camp that this is now my 5th year working there. Only like... 5 leadership staff knew I was coming, so when I walked into the medical center to take a covid test at 10:30 Thursday night, and I saw a returning counselor, she *flipped* *her* *shit*. Much screaming and then shushing ensued. The next morning I went to help the campers set up for breakfast, and I ran around outside to get stuff. The amount of surprised faces, full “look backs”, and “NO WAY, SHUT UP WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!” Was enough to totally blow up my head. XD And it only got better. Everyone was so nice. 
Last year was a total shit show due to understaffing which then led to tensions and drama because everyone was overworked, overtired, and if you were like me, doing the work of 3+ people. 
But right now... it’s so chill. Since I’m in a weird position, I just helped with whatever needed to be done. I did programming, led and planned multiple all camp activities, participated in dance parties, ran archery, hung out with the art people, and I got to see all of my favorite girls and give them the BIGGEST hugs. We talked about our love of Heartstopper, gushed over our favorite animes and manga, and exchange friendship bracelets and letters. One of my favorite girls had found some charms that reminded her of the Heartstopper doodles, and she gifted them to me. :’) And the new staff are so nice!!! They always are, and I’ve always gotten along well with them, but you guys... I was so nervous. I was so nervous and scared and sick to my stomach with worry and anxiety that my girls would’ve outgrown me and I wouldn’t make friends and it would be so awkward being there. 
I lost count of the number of times new staff came up to me saying how excited their girls were that I was there and that they kept on gushing over how happy their were and how nice I am. :’) One new counselor, who I want to make more of an effort to get to know next weekend because she seems *sooooo* freaking cool (!!!!!!!), came up to me on my last night and I shit you not... she said “Summer, I am so happy that I met you. My girls are so happy that you’re here, and I’m so happy that I got to meet you too.” Like????? WHAT?!?! THAT’S THE VALIDATION I’VE BEEN CRAVING! THAT ALL MY DEDICATION AND HARD WORK OVER THE YEARS TO MY CAMPERS AND TO CAMP ACTUALLY FREAKING MEANT SOMETHING!!! AND IT HAS!!! 
Campers from every! single! age group want me to sit and eat and chat and hang out with them. I know girls from the oldest group all the way down through the youngest. My first campers ever, when they were in my cabin for our first years, were 8 years old. They are now going into high school!!! And they’re amazing!!! We have these “teams” at camp, and each team has 2 leaders. Over half of the leaders were one of my campers at one point or another, and I am beyond proud of all of them. They are all strong and kind and supportive and fun and smart and beautiful and I adore them. 
I don’t know how the rest of the summer will go, but I was this to document that at least for one 3 day weekend... life felt next to perfect. I was at my favorite place, with my favorite people, and I was surround by friends and people who genuinely like me and wanted to spend time with me and catch me up on everything that’s been happening and just... be around me. And that was fantastic. I can’t wait to see them all again. 
Beyond that, my readings have all been fun, I have boba and my favorite food, I bought food for the week, bought stationery and the CUTEST strawberry backpack from Target plus a dinosaur lunchbox, my favorite youtuber is uploading again, I’ve been writing letters, working out, and just... I’m going to float along with these good vibes and happy thoughts for as long as I can and document as much as I can so I can remember that even when I’m in tough spots, it *will* pass, things *will* get better, I *will* find friends who care about me, and life *will* get better and so worth living. So... idk. I post a lot of angsty “my life is hard and I am a struggliiiin” posts, so I thought I’d finally pop in with a hey! Life’s pretty fucking great right now (if I Roe v Wade being overturned.... which .... that’s hitting me slowly but surely).
Anyways. That’s all from me!
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callmeyoungdoctor · 2 years
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Today I’m choosing one step at the time. After such a beautiful day outside my city, away from everyone and everything I came back and what I found in ✨home✨ was a lot of noise and unnecessary comments, so I did what I needed to do to prepare myself for a nice sleep but I couldn’t.
I gave myself permission to cry a little bit and then fell asleep. Today my brain has these wild thoughts about everything and everyone so, let me put out here what im thinking, probably it’ll go away.
1. Can’t wait to be on vacation
2. Both of my parents have covid but my mom has this annoying attitude of I won’t isolate and shit (like, luckily you got it in a moment when we know more about it, you got 3 vaccines, and strain isn’t as lethal as the other ones, you can treat your symptoms like a common flu and you’re young and healthy enough to deal with it)
3. The people that I work with:
A. The girl has been through a lot of shit when she was younger and has the personality ✨trait✨ of dealing with everyone’s bullshit, like if I was one of her siblings. She talks shit about what she doesn’t know and she can be absolutely irrational with her words and actions. I try to be nice to her, but I don’t give her any type of info cuz … idk you don’t need to be friends with all of your workgroup. Just get the shit done, be kind and leave.
B. The guy is an arrogant piece of human being. He’s a junior doc and doesn’t allow himself to ask for help when it’s needed and so most of his duties have to rechecked. He definitely doesn’t know how the teamwork works. His very first week of training he said he knew how to do everything perfectly fine … I waS genuinely surprised bc when I said that first time it was around my 5th month working there. Yet there I was during the weekend correcting him stuff so he does them again and we don’t get in trouble.
4. Saw this tiktok about “who you are today is the person you wanted to be around so it could protect you from the things that happened to you” or so. And this unfortunately opened the box of the memories I didn’t want to remember and spent most of my weekend thinking about the past and shit. But must say, I’m so proud of who I am today.
5. My man is coming to visit me for a few weeks and just when I thought I had a nice study schedule, I was always productive, even working out and shit. Now I have to physically include him in my daily basis which YES I love him so much and I’m so happy he’s coming but if you know you know that’s all I’m gonna say. I love him.
6. New projects are coming soon and I’m really excited and anxious and excited. Yet my brain hurts thinking that I’m not worth of the things I’m achieving and that everything is a lie so I don’t show I am a failure. Too good to be true. But I’m also proud of myself!?!?!?!?!??
Okay time to work
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achillieus · 3 years
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let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)
summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.
(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)
pairing: sebastian stan x reader
warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, sebastian desperately needs to hug the reader, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning
(pinterest inspired board)
part: 1/6
(other parts)  (masterlist)
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The day it happened, it wasn't a significant meeting at all, you barely even talked. In fact, when he opened the door of your neighbor’s flat that day with a beer in his right hand and his hair messy, he didn't have any effect on you. You always knew that living next to a director meant that sooner or later you’d bump into the pretty faces of well-known people. Sure, you didn’t expect them to be Hollywood actors like him, but to say you were starstruck by the man, would be the overstatement of the year.
The building you’ve lived in for the last three years has five floors; you live in the 4th, he lives in the 5th. He’s a quiet person, usually spending his evenings out of his apartment. You’ve talked sometimes, about the weather and the weird lady that lives in the 1st floor. You’ve never told him you find his directing style a little pretentious.
You’ve never been to his place until that annoyingly warm August evening, when you find a white button up shirt on your balcony. You can clearly see more clothing when you look up and you’re certain the item you’re holding belongs to him.
He’s not there though. Instead you find a different face behind the door. Lighter eyes and darker hair. The man in front of you is definitely younger than the director. You don’t bother to notice what he’s wearing.
“Can I help you?” His voice is deeper than you expected. Stronger, with a touch of European accent. The sound of English surprises you at first but soon you realize he must be another foreign coworker that came to visit your neighbor
“No, I just think Argyris dropped this and it ended up on my floor.”
He looks at you and then at the shirt, in your hands.
Then he says “Sure, I’ll take it.”
“Okay.”
Then it ends. He doesn’t even ask your name. You don’t have to ask his. You figure out, as soon as you walk down the stairs, that it’s Sebastian Stan that you just talked to.
And while being a big fan of marvel movies, you think nothing special of him at first. You just wonder how a mostly unknown director from Greece got an actor like Sebastian to come here so they can work together. It makes no sense to you, but you forget it when your phone starts ringing.
/
It would’ve been easier if you never saw him again, yet you do. You see him trying to understand what the old lady from the first floor is trying to tell him. You already know. The elevator is not working. The next day you see him walking up the stairs.
You exchange a quick hello, how are you and then off you both go.
The same night Argyris invites you to have a drink with them in the terrace. Part of you wants to just stay in bed and binge watch some Sherlock episodes. Part of you already thinks of what to wear.
There are around ten people there when you show up. They’re all sitting down in huge pillows drinking and talking loudly. You don’t know most of them.
You sit next to a blonde girl, across from Sebastian. This time you notice he’s wearing a plain black shirt and holds a glass of whiskey.
You don’t share any direct conversations but you learn that he’s afraid of growing old and that he thinks Taxi Driver is one fucking masterpiece, as he says.
When you mention that you’re probably the least artistic person in the room right now, you hear him laugh.
A curly haired woman starts dancing with him at some point. You decide he’s not a good dancer.
He leaves the same time you do, following you down the stairs.
“I thought you live here.” You say when he doesn’t stop at the floor you expect him to.
“Ah no, I stay at a hotel near the centre.”
He keeps talking about his suite until you reach your door.
You part in a blur, with a short goodbye.
He still doesn’t ask for your name.
It makes you feel genuinely offended.
/
Two days after, he is the farthest thing from your mind, until you find him sitting in front of your door, his eyes roaming the place with despair. And then he sees you.
“Ah finally you are here.” He starts casually. “Thank god.”
You just nod.
“Argyris told me to wait for him with you. We had a meeting but he got stuck in traffic.”
You give him a look.
“He said you’re always at home so you won’t mind.”
Ouch. Yeah sure, your social life wasn’t something to brag about but for some reason the way Sebastian said it, it sounded like an insult.
“Okay, come in.” You shrug, clearly not feeling comfortable and turn around to unlock the door.
You hear him call your name. You thought he didn’t know.
“Yes?”
He offers you an easy smile.  “Thank you.”
/
Sitting in your couch he’s eyeing the entire room, while you put some groceries in the fridge.
“Argyris says you’re a great girl.” He clears his throat. “But he thinks you’re too quiet for your own good.”
You look at him, your eyes flicking up and down his face.
“And from what I can tell, he’s right.”  You hear him laugh.
It felt weird to see him laugh while he was leaning back at your cozy pillow. He had entered your life so suddenly you didn’t even have time to react to it.
“I’m sorry but I barely know you.” Your words are sharp. He sits up.
“Okay then let’s get to know each other, what’s your favorite Disney princess?”
Defeated, you laugh. “Are you kidding me?”
“No, this is an important question.”
You wait for him to crack up but then you remember he’s an actor.
“I don’t know.” You think for a second. “Mulan?”
“Oh my god. Mulan is amazing.” You smile at him. “My favorite is Jasmine, she’s just so badass.”
You share your favorites that day, having almost nothing in common rather than your everlast love for animated movies and buttered popcorn.
When it’s time for him to leave, he stops and looks at you in the eye.
“You should talk more often.”
You stare at him with confusion. “I talk,” you raise your eyebrows. “When I have something to say.”
“Good.” he says, still looking.
/
Later in the evening, you’re eating some yoghurt when he comes knocking on your door.
He’s different. The white tank top he was wearing this morning is replaced with a dark shirt and his face looks tired. You assume they’ve been working since he went upstairs.
“Hiii”, he says dragging the i, “Am I interrupting anything?”
You desperately want to nod. You want to tell him that you were doing the most exciting thing in the world, before he came but you were never a good liar.
So you just tilt your head and take a step back.
That’s when he enters and is met with some loud rock music blaring from your laptop.
“You like AC/DC?” he asks, almost wide-eyed.
“Well, I can tell it’s them when I hear their stuff.”  For the first time that day, he seems to be in loss of words. “Why are you so surprised?”
He sits in the same spot in the couch as earlier and laughs.
“I just didn’t take you for the kind of girl who likes this music.” It’s your turn to laugh.
“Why?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Quiet girl who loves animated films and eats kids’ yoghurt” he looks at the carton in your kitchen table, “and also likes metal music? Doesn’t add up.”
“We’ve basically just met; you shouldn’t make assumptions about me.”
“Fair enough.” He sits back, fidgeting with his fingers.
You take some time just looking at him
There was a certain vibe about that man that made you wonder how it’d feel to cruise down a dessert highway in a convertible mustang with him. In the summer. With him wearing that white tank top.
The color of strawberries emerges at your cheeks just at the thought of it.
You wish he doesn’t notice.
You’re glad to find him looking the other way, before he speaks up.
“We’re going out tonight.” His voice is warm now. “Argyris says you should come along, even though I’m quite sure there’s no hardcore music where we’re going.” He laughs again.
I can’t. You almost say. But then anxiety slips away from you and out of sudden you want him to stop being so freaking arrogant, going around and acting like he knows exactly what kind of person you are.
He thinks you’ll say no. You can see it in his eyes.
“Sure, when should I be ready?” you say, surprising both of you.
He looks at you for some time and then trying to hide whatever he was thinking he says the first thing on his mind.
“How old are you?” He sounds pitiful. He knows. He wishes he could hit a wall; with his head.
“Twenty-one.” His eyes scan yours, unsure of what they’re looking for. “Why?”
“No reason.”
He inhales deep.
/
You try to blink. You’re at a party in a little bar you’ve never been before and a lot of people are wearing black. Alcohol. You can still taste it on the back of your tongue. You don’t remember how you end up pressed against a dark skinned man, but you can tell he smells of cigarettes and despair.
You sway your body to the beat, close your eyes. Breath in. And out. You think the music deafens you for a second but you open your lids and see Sebastian and he’s watching you, unashamed.
He’s not that far, though it feels like it with countless bodies in the way. The music melts. His gaze is almost angelic. Or devious. You can’t really tell.
He’s dancing with that curly haired woman again. You wonder how intimate their relationship is.
The red neon lights make his skin glisten. His muscles move divinely. It makes you think there’s an entire world inside him, his flesh barely keeping it hidden. Out of sudden you get the urge to walk towards him. You want to see him up close under this dim lighting. But you don’t move.
The man that’s groping your waist asks for your name. You tell him you need to flee. He doesn’t understand.
You sit outside with the sweet summer breeze touching your bare arms. The bass of the music in the background syncs with the beating of your heart. You can feel your ribs grow with every breath you take. Until you stop breathing because the door opens and his eyes suffocate you.
You can’t fathom the effect he has on you. He was a pretty face on screen some days ago. But right now he steals distance and stays near you.
You don’t look his way. He doesn’t say a word. Nicotine and smoke surround you as he exhales. His fingers hold the cigarette butt with care.
“Do you want some?”
You turn to look at him.
“I don’t smoke.” He laughs.
“That doesn’t mean you don’t want some.”
You want to know if his breath has the taste of sulfur. You want to pretend it’s the alcohol or the loud music that makes your head hurt.
“What’s the best part of being an actor?” The blue in his eyes glows.
There’s silence but he seems to be thinking about it.
“Do you ever feel things too much?” He says, his voice hoarse. “I mean, when you feel something so intensely it becomes a part of who you are.”
You nod. You understand.
“Acting allows you to let go of these feelings,” he starts. “You share the burden with the audience until it becomes light and you can hold it again.”
You look at him, shaking your head.
“I don’t think I could that,” you close your eyes. “I don’t think I could share what I feel so easily.”
He stands up. The wind hits you again.
“A lot people can’t. That’s why everyone is heartbroken,” he takes a breath, “Feelings eat us raw.”
You both go to bed alone that night. Tomorrow there is a hole next to you.
/
the morning after, search history
(02:45 PM) hangover recovery
(03:00 PM) best food after a hangover
(03:10 PM) sebastian stan
(03:30 PM) sebastian stan girlfriend
(06:00 PM) xanax side effects
/
You follow him on Instagram. He doesn’t follow you back. You remember he probably gets tons of followers every day and decide not to let it bother you. Instead you study for the exams of the following month.
The subject of your studies doesn’t interest you. Another poor decision you made under pressure. Sometimes you feel as if your life is borrowed from someone else. Sometimes you feel as if you haven’t found your home yet.
Feelings eat us raw.
His girlfriend looks beautiful in the pictures you find online. The media isn’t certain if they’re still together but you like to think so. It makes it easier to avoid him.
But the universe seems to be oblivious to your thoughts and you see him that same day. You’re taking the garbage out and he’s coming down from the top floor. You meet in the elevator.
“I’m glad to see you’re still alive,” his eyes are smiling as he talks “you looked kinda drunk last night.”
You fidget with the hem of the bag you’re holding.
“I wasn’t drunk.” You notice he’s growing some stubble. You’re not sure you like it.
“Whatever you say, doll.”  You bite your cheek trying to devour any sign that might give away how his words make you flinch.
He turns his body a little so now you’re facing each other. He’s so pretty. He’s so pretty in a way that doesn’t hurt. You try not to stare at him, but you fail sometimes. You’ve never noticed how slow the elevator moves until you want to get out. You can’t stand being so close to him for much longer.
He’s an arrogant rich actor who loves Disney and smokes a lot, you think. I have no reason to be affected by him.
“Ah! Argyris said we’re leaving for the weekend.” You eye him curiously. “He wants to show us some small villages in the south. He thinks we should get to know the country a little more before we start.”
You’re stunned by your neighbor’s dedication to his work. Sometimes you wish you had something you could be passionate about too. Sometimes you think you’re never going to find it.
“That’s great. I’m sure you’ll like it.” You give him a smile.
He leans his back at the wall. The elevator stops. Finally.
“I like your eyes.” You grab tight onto the bag. “But they don’t smile when you do.”
He opens the door and he’s gone.
They tell you that it’s fun to meet a famous person. They tell you, you can ask for a photo and a hug. They tell you celebrities don’t talk a lot but that doesn’t mean they’re rude.
But he’s not like that.
He’s fire. He’s burning heat and scorching flames. His words are his thoughts; raw. You don’t like it.
/
late night search history
(00:38 AM) blue valentine movie soundtrack
(01:15 AM) is sebastian stan a bad person
(01:30 AM) acting classes for amateurs
(01:50 AM) cheap leather boots
(02:10 AM) sebastian stan eyes
 You find it annoying; how he’s present even when you’re alone.
Thankfully he’s leaving for the weekend, you think.
/
The weekend, however, is two days away.
You think you can get away without seeing him. And you do. Until it’s late at night again. And they’re all upstairs with music so loud you’re certain the lady on the first floor is going to be rude about it in the morning.
The music tempo has you unaffected. All you think about is if he’s dancing with that woman again.
He’s such a bad dancer, he should not be dancing.
There’s a subtle knock on your door. You know it’s him. You hope you’re wrong.
“Do you feel like dancing?” His face is all flustered. It’s a good look on him.
“You can’t come knocking on my door at 2 AM and ask me to dance.” His gaze is filled with confusion.
“So you don’t feel like dancing?” You roll your eyes. He notices.
“That’s not the point Sebastian.” It’s the first time you call him by his name. You let it slip away slowly, testing the way it sounds coming out of your mouth.
He takes a step closer. You are suddenly aware of your pyjama shorts and your exposed skin.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to irritate you.” His eyes are the cliché blue of the sky. “I just thought you might want to dance, that’s all.”
Suddenly you feel guilty and embarrassed. He’s oblivious to it.
For a moment you feel his eyes linger on you. It feels surreal.
You nod at him.
He’s ready to say something when Argyris comes down the stairs, his shirt slightly unbuttoned.
“Ah man, I thought you got lost or something.” You lower your eyes. “Stop messing with the poor girl. People are looking for you.”
He throws a smile at you and Sebastian takes a quick breath.
“People are always looking for me.”
He gives away that he’s carrying a burden. Your expression softens. But then you look at Argyris and you see he doesn’t really pay attention to these words.
You share a quick look before you’re there standing alone at your doorstep, trying to grasp the idea of him.
/
When you wake up you feel like running. You can’t fathom where the feeling comes from but it starts like a liquid running down your veins and soon you can’t stay in bed even for a second.
Feelings eat us raw. Only if you let them.
.
i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged in this six part story :)
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moonandflowersfairy · 3 years
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match up request: IM SO HAPPY YOU’LL DO A MATCH UP FOR ME THANK YOU BABES🥺💓💓💙
(All the sparkles for you✨✨✨✨)
I like meeting new people and I rarely talk about myself I’m always asking other people random shit about their lives without being too invasive but yesterday my fren asked “wth you conducting a survey” and Imma shut up now.
I have mastered the art of acting like I’m confident even though I’m really not and genuinely convinced I’m not that attractive but like I’m very much okay with it if that makes sense. I’m spontaneous and love doing random ass dumbshit. I think I’m smart but also not because all I know is a variety of surface level knowledge. I love problem solving and deal with pressure pretty well.
I like hanging out with frens, reading anything and everything, playing volleyball and binging slice of life anime because other anime hurt too much. I also like everyone on tumblr being their weird and authentic selves 😂😂
I dislike people who act like they’re better than others or hurt others only because they know they can get away with it. Just wanna punch their face so bad. I also hate when it gets hot or people who tell me what to do.
My preferred gender would be male and I always look for an s/o whose kind and witty. If you can retort with sarcastic remarks I will fall in love. (Pls be taller than me I’m 5’8 and where I’m from half the boys are shorter than me) and I like being physically clingy if you’re good with that ISSA BONUS FOR ME.
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I match you with...
¡! Akashi Takeomi ¡!
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Why?
you would make a chaotic and chill duo, I know that sounds crazy but you mix and combine so well. Its like almost opposites but not quite there! You both have what you need and your relationship is mostly based in confidenciality and trust.
general headcanons:
¡! SFW ¡!
you meet at your work. you worked at a bank and he was trying to get a credit card and you were helping him, he first noticed the way you addressed him as, your politeness and spontaneousness, then he checked you, and oh boy was he mesmerized, obviously trying not to be caught.
in the afternoon, after your work shift, you were going for a coffee/tea and something to eat before going to your apartment, he saw you entering the coffee shop. you ordered and as you waited he got near you to talk about the "credit card" and some questions he had with the interest. one thing led to another, and there you were, standing in the middle of the coffee shop giving your number to a stranger and getting called for your order.
since that encounter you were usually wondering about the mysterious man and how had he caught your attention, you were now messaging each other.
he asked you to be his girlfriend in the 5th or so date, you already knew much about him because of your tendency to ask a lot of things and he was sure there was something very enchanting in the way you expressed towards him. A good bouquet of sakura flowers in his left hand and an inviting sign in his right hand presented to you in the afternoon outside your apartment, you went to a fancy restaurant. five words at the same place that started your date 2 hours later surprised you, "would you be my girlfriend?"
your relationship started a bit awkward, he realized you didn't talk to him much about yourself, so he made himself a promise to remember every little detail you said.
he was very happy when you told him about acting, he encouraged you to start taking more castings and to follow your dreams. the first time he accompanied you to one he was very excited and proud to see you doing what you liked.
he told you about his gang past after a few months, he didn't expect you to be so calm about it, you already knew it.
he's a big softie for you, he might act all tough and very strong on the outside, but when he is in your arms he feels so secure and warm.
protective, not to the point of forbidding you of going out with other people, just to let people know of what belongs to him.
he lets you be clingy, even in public.
he's just clingy to you when he has just woken up or when you are cuddling together, in public he will hold your hand, put his hand in your lower back and peck your cheek.
lots of forhead kisses!!!
he is always there for you no matter what.
respects you so much, he drinks respect women juice everyday btw.
I think his love language is giving gifts and acts of service so expect a lot of presents, expensive ones mostly because he loves to spoil you 😽
midnight rides
you are that badass couple
intimidating mysterious man, and sweet extrovert woman.
you both are chaotic by the way your relationship works, you always know what each other wants without saying a word and normally end up doing something super weird like going to buy peanut butter and pickles at 3 am
one moment you both act like some angsty teenagers in love and the other you act like an old married couple.
¡! NSFW ¡!
he is never going to pressure you to do something you don't want to do. it is ok for him if you want to have sex the first day of relationship or 1 year later
he's a dom
he lets you ride him from time to time, but he mostly has the control
daddy kink.
loves to hear you begging but always lets you cum
grunts a lot, he will moan only when you are giving him head
big cock, average girth, 7 in, curved up, has a vein in its left side, a little darker than his natural tone, not shaved but trims it from time to time.
he doesn't care if you are shaved or not, its natural for hair to grow there
loves lace lingerié. use black lingerié, drives him crazy
king of dirty talk
but he makes it fancy 😩
"what? my naughty girl wants some action?", "do you want me inside of you, darling", "oh princess you look exquisite in that position", "you can handle it, sweetheart, can you?"
fav position is when you are almost sitting and he is standing face to face and 69, him on top
likes to choke and spank you
not into bdsm but can try it
before having actual sex you had other sexual interaction like oral, fingering, etc
he is more of an equal pleasure guy, but loves to make you scream with three of his fingers inside you
he doesn't have a preference in body types, whatever you have will work for him
he gets very emotional after the act, start saying "i love you" and reassures you of his love because inside he is very scared to loose you in any way <3
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[sakura: ephemeral beauty]
with love, for: @hikroki-blog
¡! song recommendation ¡!
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miss-smutty · 3 years
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Forbidden
Chapter 1
A/N- I've teased y'all for so long I hope this series is going to live up to expectations, I'm confident it will though because I'm addicted and it's been super easy for me to write - I'm up to chapter 3 so far so updates can be on time! There's a slight age gap between my professor Hemsy and OC Jess but she's twenty and completely legal. You know this is gunna be a giant tease fest for the first couple of chapters cos that sexual tension is fucking gold 🥵
Summary- Jess meets the man of her dreams and then stupidly leaves without getting his number. Will fate bring them together again?
Word count- 1.5 K
Pairing- Professor!Chris Hemsworth x OC
Warnings- Swearing, age gap
18+ only!
Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.
Posted: 5th August 2021
Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle
@skyfullofsong123 @swaggysposts
Chapter 2
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I pulled out a chair at the last available table in the unusually busy coffee shop, I thought I might've caught a break choosing the one outside of campus but alas I was wrong.
I was about to sit down when the chair opposite me slid out from under the table, my eyes lifted to meet with the most sparkly blue eyes i'd ever seen. The sight of him took my breath away. Literally.
I stood staring, frozen on the spot, my mouth slightly ajar as I looked him up and down. He was tall, so tall, definitely over 6ft and built like a dream. Thick thighs straining against his fitted trousers, wide muscular shoulders and I just knew there was a six-pack hiding behind that tight t-shirt. 
"Sorry. You were here first, I'll just grab a take-out." He smirked a side smile, amused at how I was so obviously checking him out but his sexy Australian accent distracted you from anything else.
"It's fine, I'm on my own. I don't mind if you want to sit there too." I mentally face palmed myself, drawing attention to the fact I was alone wasn't the best idea but then again he was alone too. "I don't bite." I added trying my best to flirt.
It seemed to work, he smiled at me as he sat down and I took the time to admire his handsome face. He was quite clearly a lot older than me, the laughter lines around his eyes a tell tale sign but he was still quite possibly the best looking man I'd ever laid eyes on. His hair was fair and the short beard framed his face perfectly but the one thing that stood out the most were those piercing ocean-blue eyes.
"So do you come here often?" I cocked my eyebrow at him over my coffee cup making him laugh at my reaction. "Sorry, it's been a while." He said nervously, running his hand through his hair.
"It's been a while since you spoke to a stranger or…?" I questioned casually.
"It's been a while since I spoke to an attractive woman." He finished, his eyes sparkling as he watched me almost choke on my drink.
"Oh, I err…. I don't think you're doing too badly." I absentmindedly circled my finger around the rim of my cup, crossing my leg over my other and accidently rubbing my foot up his leg. My cheeks felt hot and flushed as I looked up into his eyes and saw him smiling slyly.
"Evidently. We're already playing footsie under the table." He smiled widely, a genuine smile that stretched the corners of his mouth. I smiled back at him shyly, thinking of something to say to change the subject before I ended up looking like a tomato.
"What part of Australia are you from?"
"I'm originally from Melbourne but I lived in Byron Bay before I came to America." 
"Awesome. I've always wanted to go to Australia, the Spiders put me off though." 
"Yeah I think they put most people off but in heavily populated areas they stay pretty much hidden, I think it's the size that scare people." How have I made this conversation go from flirting to talking about spiders? And how do I get back to flirting?
"Are we still talking about spiders?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly and laughed at the innuendo, flicking my hair over my shoulder. I noticed something in his eyes when I did so, a hunger, just a little flash and then it was gone again. I'm sure I didn't imagine it though because his eyes lingered on my exposed shoulders.
I checked my watch subtly, not wanting him to think he was boring me but I had to get to class and couldn't be late again, not when this semester had only just started.
"I'm really sorry, I'm gonna have to run, I'm going to be late. It was really nice meeting you." I gathered up my bags, ready to leave.
"Already? You've only just got here." He looked disappointed, his smile fading. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something else and then closed again when he saw I was ready to leave. "It was really nice to meet you too, hopefully I'll see you again." His eyes sparkled as he looked into mine, standing from his chair to get the door for me. I felt fireworks when his hand brushed against the small of my back and his face lingered close to mine. The tension was unreal, like we were the only people in the room as his eyes hungrily stared into my soul, undressing me with his eyes. My heart stopped beating when his face moved closer to mine so I could feel his breath on my lips, the smell of coffee and his aftershave filling my nostrils. I paused, my feet routed to the spot, I wanted him to kiss me so badly but I moved away at the last minute. Surely he wasn't actually going to kiss me, we'd only just met, that would be ridiculous. Wouldn't it?
********
I spent most of class daydreaming about my tall handsome stranger and the way he looked at me but most of all how I didn't even get his name. Or his number.
Now I was feeling sorry for myself because it would just be my luck to meet the man of my dreams and then never see him again. So I'd moped about all day and avoided the invitations for drinks after class. Instead I'd
gotten home early, changed into some sweats and settled myself in front of the TV for the night.
"What's up with your face?" My roommate, Ellie said as she walked into our room, throwing her bags onto her bed.
"What're you talking about?" 
"Your face. Looks like you're chewing on a wasp."
"Feeling sorry for myself." I pout pathetically.
"Why, what've you done now?" She rolled her eyes, kicking off her shoes and throwing her legs up onto the bed. I felt so lucky to have a roommate like Ellie, during our freshman year she'd become my best friend practically straight away and now after two years together we were practically sisters.
I sat up in bed cross legged and faced Ellie, getting myself ready to spill my misfortunes of the day with her.
"Well, I went to Impresso's this morning to get my morning coffee before class." She nodded, showing her enthusiasm by also sitting cross legged on her own bed, facing me. "And it was packed full of students, there was only one table left. So I went to grab it as soon as I could." She raised her eyebrow at me, wondering where I was going with the story. "And I kid you not, the most attractive man I have ever seen, pulls out the chair opposite me." 
"Oh my god! No way. Did you talk? Oh my god, this is like the perfect chick flick. Carry on." I smiled at her excitement.
"I told him I didn't mind if he sat there, I mean of course I didn't mind, you should've seen him El. Oh, oh, oh I almost forgot" I flapped my hands, bouncing on the spot. "He was fucking Australian."
"Fuck off, you're lying. Drop dead gorgeous with the sexiest accent ever. How is this even real? Now remind me why you're sat there with a face like a slapped arse?" 
"I panicked when I had to leave, didn't want to be late for class and I didn't get his number, didn't even give him chance to ask for mine." 
"Wow! Ok, now I understand. What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking, I was panicking and you know what I'm like when I panic." You sulk.
"It's ok, maybe you'll bump into him again."
"Yeah, right. I should be so lucky."
"Cheer up." she says throwing a cushion at me. "There's a party at Alpha Kappa this weekend, I'm sure we can find you someone to help get over your mystery man. Or under should I say?" She raised her eyebrow at me, smiling slyly and making me laugh. She always did know how to cheer me up and maybe a party is what I needed.
There must be some good looking boys around campus that could make me forget about my Australian hunk. Surely? I thought about the guys I'd seen around campus, the guys I'd seen at frat parties and that's definitely not what I wanted. How could a twenty year old boy match to the masculine, experienced man I met this morning. My mind was set, I'd dipped my feet ever slightly into the mature pool and that's what I wanted more than anything. There was always something missing with previous boyfriends and I was tired of all the game playing. I wanted someone who knew what they wanted and wasn't afraid to get it.
The only thing was, he didn't know I was only twenty and I had no way of finding him again. If fate did bring us back together, would he mind that I was still a student? That I couldn't even drink when we went on dates? 
Who am I kidding? Of course he would mind, he could get any woman he wanted, why would he want me?
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writernada · 3 years
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10 Times Yuzuru Hanyu Was Inspiring
Yuzuru Hanyu (26 years old) is a Japanese figure skater. He is a two-time Olympic champion, two- time World champion, Four Continent champion, four times Grand Prix Final champion and five times national champion. He is the only male skater that has achieved a grand slam (won all major competitions in both junior and senior circus). In 2018, he won the People's Honor Award given by the Japanese Prime Minister and became the youngest recipient of this award. He also won the award of the most valuable skater at the International Skating Union Awards for the season 2019-2020. Since his debut in the senior circus in 2011-2012 and until now, Yuzuru's performances have always made a great impact on the audience; allowing him to have the biggest fan base ever in the history of figure skating. His fans are not only from Japan but from all around the world; including other skaters and coaches. The reason behind all of this love is that Yuzuru touches the hearts by performing like an artist, hitting every note, being super passionate about what he does and combining a competitive spirit with a sport soul. On top of all of that, he has an ability to inspire people. His road has never been easy. It is full of injuries, surgeries, illnesses, strong competitors, mistakes and losses. However, he always perserves, pushes through his limits, overcomes adversity and rises in an inspiring way.
Here are the ten times Yuzuru Hanyu was an icon of inspiration:
1- Winning his first medal in the World Championship in 2012 despite having an injury and low stamina.
In his debut in the World championship (senior circus) in 2012, Yuzuru (17) sprained his right ankle during the official practice the day before the short program. His foot swelled up but he decided not to withdraw, taking into account all the effort he has made for this competition and all the people who came here for him (coach, mom and officials). He went ahead and competed. He was ranked seventh in the short program, third in the free program and third overall, winning the bronze medal.
Yuzuru commented on that competition in his autobiography book "Aoi Hono ll":
"Because I was injured the day before the short, I felt that even in that kind of situation 'I landed my quad, I did well’. I felt that I had worked really hard by myself. However, my mother told me, "That is wrong.” Getting injured was my own fault, but there were many people who helped and supported me. That is the reason why I could come to this point. Until about 9 o'clock that night, we were talking about this while having dinner, and in the end, I realized that my thinking was wrong."
Yuzuru was about to get full of himself and let arrogance take over him. However, his mother helped him stay grounded. Thus, he was able to face the free program with a humble attitude. He put out a passionate performance that many people still remember until this day and consider as one of their favorites. During that performance, he tried not to put a lot of pressure on the injured foot so he shifted all the pressure on the other one until it got exhausted and gave up on him. As a result, he fell all of a sudden in the middle of the performance, but he managed to get up right away and perform a great jump right after.
In his autobiography book that was mentioned earlier, Yuzuru talked about this fall and said: "Later, when I watched the videos, I saw that the fall did not take up much time. I was standing up again quickly. But to me, it felt like a long time. When I fell, the feeling was like flying mid-air. Like this (he re-enacts the fall in slow motion), 'ahh, I am stumbling~~’ (laughs). After the fall, I was thinking 'what should I do from here’, many thoughts circled around. Thinking that I won’t make it in time for the next axel jump, I shortened the path by going straight instead of curved. I can jump even a 3A+3A (in practice), so I thought I will be alright. (laughs)”.
One of the most exciting moments during the performance is when Yuzuru shouted out aloud before the choreographic sequence. The shout seemed like a great expression of the emotions of his character (Romeo). It made him look like he was totally into character. However, he clarified that it was unintentional. He said: "I felt like I couldn’t breathe, so I thought, for now just let the breath out. (laughs)"
Yuzuru is known to be suffering from asthma and because of it he had a low stamina at the time. However, even after finding out that the shout wasn't done to express the character's emotions, viewers still find it impactful because it is a genuine expression of Yuzuru's fight against his limits.
That night, Yuzuru made a name for himself internationally. He shed tears of happiness after getting his scores and so did his coach. He also got praised by the winner that night who said: "the one shining the most is Yuzuru".
2-  Breaking a World Record and winning gold in his first participation in the winter Olympic Games.
At the age of 19, Yuzuru participated for the first time in the Olympic Games. Young male skaters like him who participate for the first time usually don't dare to dream about winning. The big scale of the competition gets athletes nervous and shaken, even the great and experienced ones of them. Therefore, the young newcomers usually consider their first participation as an experience to have under their belt while preparing for the next Olympic. However, Yuzuru was determind to win. His choreographer at the time, David Wilson, talked about his intense determination in an interview: "he wrote me an email letter that was so touching. He was like please help me do this because I'm ready. I'll do anything. I will die. I'll do anything to be the Olympic Champion. I don't want to wait until 2018. I want it now and I'll do anything. I'm willing to die for it. Anything you tell me, I'll do it but help me."
David Wilson talking about Yuzuru's determination to win the 2014 Olympics
Yuzuru performed a marvelous short program and came out of the rink saying: "I did it!" to which his coach replied: "you certainly did". He broke the world record in his first participation at the Olympics despite his young age. He did get nervous and made mistakes at the free program. However, what he did in the short program was enough to bring him the gold medal and make him achieve his childhood dream.
Yuzuru (11) saying that his dream is to win the Olympics
Yuzuru performing his short program at the 2014 Olympics:
Other Skaters reacting to Yuzuru's World Record at the Olympics:
The moment when Yuzuru finds out he won the  2014 Olympics:
3- Continuing to compete after a pretty bad collusion with another skater during Cup of China 2014:
In 2014, Yuzuru took part in Cup of China, which is one of the events of the Grand Prix Series. Yuzuru was in second place after the short program and during the 6 minuets warm up before the long program he had an accident. He collided with the Chinese skater Han Yan. They were looking at opposite sides and couldn't see each other until it was too late.
Yuzuru talked about the incident in his autobiography book and said: "My stomach hit the ice (when I fell) and so it felt like I received a body blow. My stomach was hurting so much; I could not breathe nor get up. Then, when I tried standing up, my chin was hurting and bleeding. My head was panicking and I didn’t know exactly where all the pain was coming from."
After a few minutes, Yuzuru stood up on his own despite the arrival of medical helpers. He preferred to exit the rink on his own instead of being carried. Backstage, he was examined and given first aid by American doctors.
The Collusion incident at CoC 2014:
In his biography book, Yuzuru gave some details about what happened backstage after the incident:
"I really gave a lot of trouble to the people around me. They told me ‘Don’t compete’. The doctors also said, 'It is not a concussion, so it is possible to skate but we do not recommend it.’Coach Orser also said, 'Now you don’t need to be a hero. You still have more after this, you still can do a lot as a skater.’But 'it has nothing to do with that. I will skate because I want to go to GP Final.’ I think I might have said that to him in Japanese. I wanted to go to the Final somehow. Here, 5th or 4th place is good enough, I can get 1st place in the next competition, so for now I just want to remain connected. If I compete at GPF, I definitely want to have a second consecutive victory. I also want to win the triple crown again (Worlds, GPF, Nationals). I had those kind of thoughts. Now when I look back I think, 'ah I skated well’."
Yuzuru decided to skate his free program and the people around him respected his decision and allowed him to go. He made sure to meet Han Yan before competing again and they exchanged apologies. After that, Yuzuru showed up in the rink with a bandage on his head and a small band on his chin. He skated his free program bravely after making some changes on the layout to adjust to his condition. He fell on five jumps but did full rotations and got grades for that. He also was able to land some jumps in the latter half of the program, which got him extra points. After the performance, his coach Orser was worried about his feelings if he gets a bad score for falling five times so he was preparing him mentally by saying stuff like: "scores don't matter. What matter is what you did out there" but it turned out Orser had nothing to worry about as Yuzuru received a high score. Yuzuru was so surprised and relieved when he saw his score and he burst into tears after holding on for a long time. He won the silver medal in that event.
Yuzuru performing his free program and receiving his score at CoC 2014:
After the competition, American doctors prepared the massage room to do stitches for Yuzuru. He received 7 stitches on his chin with anesthetics and 3 staples on his head without any anesthetics, which was really painful to him! The next day, he traveled to Japan for a medical examination in a trip that he described as hell. The result of the examination was "head contusion (or bruise), chin contusion, abdominal contusion, left thigh contusion and right ankle sprain’.
For ten days, Yuzuru was unable to walk and the recovery took more time than expected. Every time he finds himself able to walk, he would go to the rink, but once he steps his foot into the rink the pain comes back. He thought that he would never be able to skate again, felt so depressed and wanted to quit skating all together. However, his mother told him "how about just giving it a try anyway? If you skate just a little on the ice every day with the intention of rehabilitation, the situation may change for the better" her response surprised him because she never tried to stop him from quitting in the past whenever he said he wanted to quit. With that new attitude of his mother, Yuzuru became optimistic about being able to skate again, and found the willpower to try and even aim to win at the next competition of the Grand Prix Series, which was NHK.
At NHK, Unfortunately, Yuzuru wasn't able to present great performances and once he finished his free program he thought to himself: "ah, the final is gone!" he thought that all his efforts in Cup of China were for nothing, but luckily, the total of his points combined from the two competitions made him the last qualified skater for the final. Thus, he was able to take part in the final, presented great performnces and won the gold medal after all the struggles he went through.
4- Winning at Nationals 2014 despite bleeding and needing a surgery:
After the short program at the Grand Prix Final, Yuzuru felt some kind of pain in his stomach whenever he stretched or pressed on it. He thought that it must be a damage in the muscle tissue but after the free program, he found something that looks like a Ping Pong ball sticking out beneath his navel. It was so painful to the extent that he couldn't sleep on his flight back to Japan. When he landed, he went to the hospital right away and was told that he might have Urachal Remnant Disorder. He was given some antibiotic and sent home because his condition wasn't bad. However, once he returned home, and got into the shower, his navel burst and started bleeding. He went back to the hospital and it was confirmed that he has Urachal Remnant. He needed to undergo a surgery but he couldn't afford to have it any time soon because the Japanese national competition (All Japan) was a few weeks away. He was determined to attend it so he decided to bear with the pain and delay the surgery. Without telling anybody about his problem, he attended his trainings after wrapping himself with gauze to prevent blood from staining his clothes. That didn't work out well and blood still got to his clothes so when it was time for the competition, he was worried that his costume might get stained. To prevent that from happening, he put a strong tape on top of the gauze, which was painful, but did the job. In this condition, Yuzuru took part in the Japanese national competition, and despite a few mistakes in both of his programs, his endurance of pain didn't go in vain, and he actually won.
Yuzuru commented about this situation in his book by saying: "It was painful to bend forward and backward, but I tried to do whatever I could in that situation. I even did the Ina bauer, but I could not arch back at all. In fact, I also intended to do the biellmann spin! However, when I started the spin, I changed it into an A-line"
Yuzuru performing his free program and putting his hand on his stomach while leaving the ice during All Japan 2014:
5-  Rising from fifth place to first in the World Championships 2017:
At the World Championship in 2017, Yuzuru made some mistakes in the short program that left him sitting in fifth place behind his rivals. The gap between him and the first place was around 11 points. He was so disappointed in himself but didn't give up. He wanted to go practice harder. However, his coaches stopped him from overworking himself and made sure that he takes a good rest and goes through a normal practice. After that, he collected himself, focused, stayed calm and presented one of the greatest performances ever. It was flawless and magnificent. His coach Brian Orser said that he felt privileged to have witnessed this performance. Yuzuru got a very high score that made him scream and left him on the verge of shedding happy tears. His coach Brian Orser was speechless while his other coach Tracy Wilson had her mouth wide open in astonishment. With that, Yuzuru was able to rise from fifth place to first and win the championship.
Yuzuru performing his free program and receiving his score at the WC 2017:
6- Winning the second Olympic title right after being away from the ice for 3 months due to a severe injury:
Before the beginning of the Olympic season, Yuzuru was done with his preparation very early and was all ready to compete. His coach Brian Orser couldn't believe how smoothly things were going and felt a little uneasy about the fact that Yuzuru was ready very early. His worry wasn't pointless because soon enough Yuzuru sustained a severe injury. It happened during the official practice before NHK. Yuzuru was practicing (4Lutz) which was a new jump he has been practicing that season. He landed the jump in a wrong way causing ligament damage to his right ankle. The injury forced him out of competition for the rest of the season.
Yuzuru's fall and injury at NHK 2017:
Yuzuru disappeared and was away from the ice for three months. During that time, he didn't make any T.V appearances or interviews. Thus, nobody knew anything about him and his condition. His participation in the Olympics and the mere ability to perform again became uncertain. A lot of people doubted he would be able to comeback. However, he showed up at Incheon Airport in South Korea surrounded by guards and declared that he was ready to compete and that he believes he has the potential to win more than any other skater. After that, he avoided talking to the press until the end of the competition.
Yuzuru's arrival at Incheon Airport to participate at the 2018 Olympics:
According to his coach, Brian Orser, Yuzuru returned to the ice only six weeks before the Olympics and had to relearn everything and take baby steps to be able to perform again. He was practicing strokes, single and double jumps while watching his training mate and rival, Javier Fernandez, do a full run through of his programs with triples and quads. Yuzuru was able to land triples only three weeks before the Olympics and started landing quads just two weeks before the Olympics.
During the official open practice before the competition, Yuzuru made sure not to reveal his abilities and current condition nor his planned layout. He simply did some strokes and single jumps then left the rink. He chose his layout after studying his rivals and calculating how many points he would potentially need to win. He did his calculations on an app that he developed as part of his studies at the university.
In the short program segment, Yuzuru put out a great performance that was so close to the world record (which he holds). He won first place at this segment. Seeing the results, he felt relieved and assured so he allowed himself to reduce the difficulty of his free program. He was one-step away from winning the Olympics again. He needed to put out another great performance during the free program, and fortunately, that's exactly what he did. He performed a memorable free program filled with emotions, and once he finished, he screamed: "I won. I won!" which was true! He became the first skater to win the Olympics consecutively in 66 years.
Yuzuru's free program at the 2018 Olympics:
The moment that Yuzuru is announced as the winner of the 2018 Olympics:
7- Receiving the gold medal on crutches during Rostelecom Cup 2018:
After winning the Olympics, Yuzuru decided to pay tribute to his role models in figure skating; the Russian legend Evgeny Plushenko and the American Johnny Weir. He chose one of Plushenko's programs as his free program and one of Weir's as his short. He adapted the programs to his own style but still kept some touches from the original ones. Since it was a tribute, he decided to perform his free program in the hometown of his Russian idol and in front of his people. That is why he chose to participate in Rostelecom Cup, which is one of the events of the Grand Prix Series, and is held in Russia. He performed a great short program and everything was going well until he injured his right foot again during the practice before the free program. He was advised to withdraw. However, he absolutely wanted to perform his tribute to the Russian legend, Plushenko, in Russia. He has prepared a lot for this performance and came all the way to Russia to do it so he didn't want all of that to be pointless. He decided to take strong painkillers and perform his free program. He lowered the difficulty of the program and then presented a great performance in front of the Russian crowd that brought him the gold medal. After the performance, he started moving on crutches and admitted that without the painkillers, he wouldn't have been able to skate. He received the gold medal that night on crutches with fans cheering for him and holding up signs that says: "Yuzu we love you from all over the world".
Yuzuru receiving the gold medal on crutches at Rostelecom 2018:
8- Conquering his fears during the season of 2019-2020:
Yuzuru has suffered from a lot of injuries throughout his career. More than once, he thought that he is facing the end of his career because of an injury. Therefore, his main goal during the season of 2019-2020 was to finish the season without injuries. He finished his first two competitions safely and arrived at Japan to participate in NHK, which was his second Grand Prix assignment. Many of his injuries happened in his second GP event and he was conscious about this fact. He was afraid of getting hurt again and was visibly shaking before the beginning of his free program. As a result of his nervousness he missed a combination. However, he pulled himself together and improvised a new combination to recover the points he missed. He thought of the new combination, calculated its points and made sure that it's not repeated all while performing amazingly. Once he came out of the rink, his coach Ghislain gave him a hug and said: "You know what? You conquered your fear!".
Yuzuru shaking before performing his free program at NHK 2019 + full performance:
Yuzuru continued to overcome his fears in the final of the Grand Prix. He was setting in second place after the short program and the gap of points between him and his rival was big. He felt that winning may not be possible this time; nonetheless, he still wanted to do his best and give a respectable performance. He decided to raise the number of quad jumps in his program to five for the first time ever in his career. In addition, he declared that he will bring back the quad Lutz, which is the jump that caused his injury before the 2018 Olympics. It's a jump that he never dared to perform again in competitions since that incident. However, he overcame his fear and performed a flawless quad Lutz during the free program with four other quad jumps in the GPF, challenging not only his fear, but also his stamina that has always been an obstacle for him. He did not win the gold medal, but won his own fight against his fears and limits as well as the hearts and respect of the audience.
Yuzuru performing quad Lutz+ full performance of the free program at GPF2019:
9- Winning the bronze medal in the World Championship 2021 despite an asthma attack and many other hurdles.
During the 2020-2021 season, the whole world was going through struggles because of Corona Virus and Yuzuru was no exception. He had to train on his own in Japan all year long away from his coaches and physical therapist in Canada. He prepared new programs for the season with his choreographers by receiving videos and training accordingly without any supervision. During the season, his hometown was struck by an earthquake twice. The last struck happened right before he traveled to Stockholm to participate in the WC. According to him, the inside of his home was a mess and he couldn't use the train to go to Tokyo and board the plane as planned. As a result, he arrived to Stockholm one day later than planned, thus, he had to change his training plans as well. However, his coach Brian Oreser said that Yuzuru is not the type of athlete who gets phased by such problems and he was right. Yuzuru did perfect run through of his programs during his official practices. He also performed his lively short program very well and won the small gold medal of the segment.
Yuzuru performing his short program at WC 2021:
Yuzuru was all set to win the World Championship for the third time, but something unexpected happened before the free program. He was supposed to start warming up one hour prior the turn of his group (the last group), but he was nowhere to be seen at the venue until it was almost time for the last group to compete. His coach Brian Orser said that he was worried and didn't know where Yuzuru was. He asked the head of the Japanese team but they simply told him: "He is somewhere else". Brian kept on going back and forth between the rink where two of his students were competing and the warm up area where Yuzuru was supposed to be, but Yuzuru did not show up. After Brian's students finished their turn, it was almost time for Yuzuru's group so Brian went to the locker room to see if Yuzuru was there. Usually, Yuzuru would put his skating boots in the locker room before the six-minuets warm up of his group and Brian would come to carry his tissue box, and then they would head to the rink together. However, Brian didn't find Yuzuru in the locker room. Yuzuru was caught on camera sitting on a chair at the warm up area, resting his head on the wall and looking exhausted while taking off his mask impatiently. At that time, the announcement of Keegan Messing's score from the group before the last one, could be heard in the background.
Yuzuru at the warm up area before skating his free program at the WC 2021:
When Brian finally found Yuzuru at the warm up area, he said that he knew something must have happened to him but he didn't ask him about it. Instead, he tried to encourage him by saying energetically: "Let's go!"
Yuzuru showed up at the rink without styling his hair unlike the norm. He made a lot of mistakes in the first part of his free program as if he was not the same person who did a perfect run through one day ago. He said that he suddenly couldn't find his balance but he did try his best. He explained that with every mistake, he tried to at least not fall. Later on, the Russian media reported that the Russian doctor who was accompanying their team at the competition said that Yuzuru has had an asthma attack right before coming to the venue and has asked for his help. Yuzuru never talked to the media about what happened before the free program and why he was late. When he was asked about his asthma he only admitted to feeling a little asthmatic after the free program. Despite all of that, Yuzuru managed to win the bronze medal and contribute in securing three spots to team Japan at the Olympics.
The mystery of what happened to Yuzuru before the free program would have stayed unsolved if it wasn't for the Russian doctor. The reason is that Yuzuru doesn't like to make excuses for himself. He once said in an old interview that he used to make a lot of excuses for himself when he was young but then he realized that real strong skaters don't do that and that he wouldn't learn anything if he keeps on making excuses. He took the renowned Japanese skater Mao Asada as an example when she competed with a bone fracture without uttering a word about it. That must be the reason why he never takes his asthma as an excuse or talks about it.
10- Achieving his childhood dreams one by one:
Since ever Yuzuru was young he declared that he wants to be the Olympic champion and he wants to land a quad Axel. He went on to achieve his Olympic dream in 2014; making history by being the first Japanese male skater to win an Olympic gold medal ever. However, he said that it’s not over yet because the plan in his head is to win the Olympics twice. He kept on improving himself and walking towards his dream while making a lot of sacrifices and overcoming injuries. At the end, he achieved his dream and made history once again by being the first skater in 66 years to win the gold medal at the Olympics consecutively. He then made a statement saying that he feels happy and that this happiness is what he gets in return to the sacrifices he made. After that, he said that he feels freed from the pressure of having to produce results. Thus, he announced that he is going to skate for himself from then on. It was time for him to start focusing on the other dream of his childhood which was the quad Axel. He made it clear that landing it in a competition is his next goal and didn’t allow himself to get swayed by what others are doing or what competitions he is losing. He stayed focused on his goal and is reported to be getting closer to achieving it.  
Yuzuru's path has never been covered with flowers. It was hard and painful most of the time but yuzuru always turns the pain into success and fulfillment with his perseverance, becoming an icon of inspiration to many people. We wish him a lot of happiness and success in the future.
Translation of Yuzuru's book is from:
https://bit.ly/3vSGgBz
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Hii I saw ur post about short blurbs and was wondering if you could do 5 or 13 🤍🤍
Well this did not end up being short 🤦‍♀️ but here ya go! Hope you enjoy!💜
It had been 2 years since y/n had moved away from Beacon Hills and half of her friends. Kira and y/n had ended up at the same college and in the same dorm. Lydia and Stiles both ended up about a half hour from them in different directions. The group was still close, but things were definitely different for all of them. Kira and Scott had grown apart and Scott and Malia had grown closer. Lydia and y/n had grown closer than before, they were always going back and forth on the weekends visiting with each other. Although y/n and Stiles were really close before, things had simmered down right before they left for school two years ago.
All their friends had sworn that the two were going to be together, even with college coming up. They were going to school close enough where they could totally still pursue a relationship. Somewhere though, Stiles and y/n had ‘grown apart’. At least that’s what their friends thought. In reality, neither of them really knew what had happened. It was like one moment they were falling for each other and the next it was just gone. Y/n and Stiles had both tried on different occasions to talk to each other, but something always got in the way.
Y/n walked into her apartment, that Kira was decorating...for Valentine's Day. “UGHHHHHH. Kira I thought we decided not to make a big deal out of this stupid holiday.”
“No...you decided that. Just because you’re still stuck on Stiles, doesn’t mean everyone else can’t be happy about love.” Kira announced.
“That’s not-no you’re. Ugh, whatever.” y/n replied, not having a come back, because what she had said was true.
y/n was still really hung up on Stiles, she was still so confused about what had happened to them back in Beacon Hills. There had been plenty of times since then that Lydia, Kira, y/n and Stiles had gotten together to hang out, even times when Scott and the others had come down to visit. However, their interactions were always strange and confusing. She hadn’t been able to date anyone else, and was honestly just making herself super unhappy.
“Before you make yourself too depressed, this was slipped under the door for you today.” Kira handed her a note, folded up with a huge heart on one side and y/n on the other.
“What...what is this?”
“I don’t know silly, clearly I haven’t opened it...since it’s for you…”
Y/n’s eyes rolled as the note was opened. It was typed and it read:
"When love is not madness it is not love." –Pedro Calderon de la Barca.
I have felt nothing but madness from the moment I laid eyes on you.
As she read it to Kira, she let out a screech, “y/n!!!!! Omg you totally have a secret admirer! This is so EXCITING!”
However y/n was doubtful, she left Kira to go to her room. Who on Earth could have sent this to her? Was it a joke? Was it real? The next day, nothing appeared under the door and it disappointed y/n, even though they would never admit that, especially to Kira!
The next day however, when y/n got home from work Kira was waiting impatiently by the door with a note in her hands. It looked exactly like the other one. She basically threw it in my face and stood over my shoulder as she repeated ‘open it, open it, open it’ in my ear.
This one read:
“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard. This, I can assure you, is true. I make dumb mistakes every time I’m around you.
“I literally have no idea who could be doing this. I don’t talk to anyone, no one even notices me around here!” y/n exclaimed, confused.
“Well, you must be wrong, because someone is DEFINITELY noticing you!!!!”
“No, this is just wrong. This has got to be a joke or something. I’m telling you. Throw away any other ones, I’m serious.” With that, y/n walked into her room and slammed the door, she was done with this.
The next day was normal, but y/n wasn’t hopeful that she wouldn’t get another letter, and the next day, the 5th of February, Kira was waiting again with another note.
“You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” – Conan Doyle. You are the only thing I can think about lately, you’re in my every thought.
y/n didn’t know what to think anymore. Was this person a freaking psycho stalker? How did they know where I lived? We’re they stalking me?
“Kira, I know that you’re sitting here thinking this is some romantic love story...but what if this is some crazy stalker that now knows where we live? Like what if they break in and kill us in the middle of the night?”
“y/n I think you’re being a little dramatic. I feel like this is someone that has to know you in some way. This is some intense shit.”
“We’re gonna die...watch.” y/n finished, over the anxiety this was causing her.
Two days later, y/n didn’t have class. She was going back and forth from the front door, to her room. She was stuck between being excited and worried. Half of her believed that this was some kind of cruel joke, the other half thought maybe someone actually did like her. By 4 o’clock, she thought maybe that it was over, but as she made her way out of there room, there was a note by the door.
"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back." - Plato. This one may be corny, but it’s true, I feel this with you.
This definitely sounded like someone that knew her. But how could she be so oblivious? How could there be someone this into her and she had no idea. That’s why she still believed that this could be a joke. Like clockwork, two days later she got another note.
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss. I swear since I started these notes, I haven’t been able to sleep at all. I know this is probably starting to creep you out, I promise that you know me and I know you. I’m not a random person.
“I’m sure that this is supposed to make me feel better Kira, but I feel worse. How do I not know this person likes me, if they like me this much?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking from the beginning of this, do you think it could be Stiles?”
“WHAT?” y/n asked incredulously, “Come on, there’s no way. First of all, that would mean he would have to drive a half hour here and back every other day to slip these under the door? There’s no way, that would be crazy.”
“I mean, you guys definitely had something and then suddenly you guys just stopped. You’re still awkward around each other, maybe this is the only way he can get you back?”
“No. Seriously. Stop that’s, that’s. No, that's crazy.” But later that night, what Kira said had gotten the best of y/n. She did something she hadn’t done in a while, she called Stiles.
As soon as he answered, y/n regretted it, “y/n? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“No, no nothing’s wrong. Sorry, I’m not even sure why I called…...I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for calling, you know.”
“Yeah, sorry- shit I mean okay. I-I gotta go talk to you later.” And she hung up, she felt so stupid why would she call him? Kira and these damn notes have gotten her head all twisted up. She should know better than to think Stiles could have done this, she was getting her hopes up just thinking about it.
Two days later, y/n could hardly think at work. Her mind was all in a swirl and she kept making mistakes and dropping shit, by the end of her shift she was exhausted. As she had expected, when she got home, Kira was sitting on the couch, holding a new note.
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” – Rumi. I haven’t known you forever, but when I met you it was like I had known you my whole life.
“There’s only three days left until Valentine's Day. What’s going to happen? Is this all leading up to something? Or are the notes just going to stop?”
“I guess that’s the fun part!” But when y/n looked at her pointedly she continued, “I know this is freaking you out and giving you anxiety, but this could be a good thing. Whoever it is, really cares about you. And I’m not getting creepy vibes from any of this, if someone was going to break in and kill us, I think they already would have.”
y/n knew that Kira was right, she shouldn’t be so freaked out about this. It didn’t seem like a creepy kind of thing, the notes were sweet and heartfelt, and they definitely, probably would have already been killed. So all y/n could do was wait.
As y/n made her way through the day before Valentine’s hazily, she could barely focus. She kept texting Kira, asking if she had found anything yet. Seeing as she was still in class, she had not. Y/n wanted nothing more than to leave her classes and go to the apartment, but she knew if the note wasn’t there yet, she would get even more impatient. So when Kira finally texted her that she got home and there was a note, y/n excused herself from her class and rushed home. Kira was waiting, almost as impatiently as y/n, with the note in her hand!
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu. Meet me at Hilton tomorrow, 7PM, there’ll be a note left at the front desk.
“What? Kira, am I really supposed to just go to this random hotel and meet this random person?”
“I mean they said you know them, so they’re not that random!”
“I know a lot of people! It could be the cute barista that gets my coffee everyday! I technically know him, but would I go into a random hotel room with him? NO.”
“Okay, then I drive you there, and you keep me on the phone. If anything funky happens I’ll run up and save your ass. I think you should go. I see the look in your eyes when you read the notes, you’re excited. I haven’t seen you genuinely excited in a long time.”
Kira had saved my life multiple times, I trusted her, and it was a good plan. I was excited, she was right, I was stupid for thinking that I would get it past her. And I wasn’t exactly defenseless, I had learned to fight through many years of fighting off the supernatural. I decided it couldn't hurt, if anything it would end up a good story to tell one day.
The next day was torture waiting for 7pm. Especially since y/n had no class and only finding an outfit to distract her. y/n called Lydia in the morning, while Lydia had been pissed that she’d only just heard about this, she insisted on y/n video chatting her to pick an outfit. Together, they had decided on a blush pink dress, with a small flower design. There was a belt that tied right under the chest, that accentuated the top of y/n’s body and flowed down nicely to a little above the knee. They picked out black kitten heels, which according to Lydia, y/n should have already had. It was 4:30 when she got home, already ready to start her makeup to keep her distracted. Kira helped her do her hair nicely and put on minimal makeup, to highlight her best features. By 6, y/n was ready to get in the car, but the drive was only 15 minutes. Kira tried to distract her with finding things to fix, like an out of place hair, or too much highlight. At 6:30, she couldn’t distract her anymore and they got in the car. She drove slowly, constantly trying to hit red lights. Although, y/n had noticed, she pretended not, too.
Freaking out at 6:50, y/n got out of the car by the entrance. Looking at Kira who gave her a thumbs up, y/n walked in and to the front desk.
“Hi, um, I was told there was a note going to be left for me here?”
“Ahh, you must be y/n, yes?” The desk attendant said to me, smiling brightly.
“Yes, that is me!” I said, nervously.
“Here is the note, don’t be so nervous. I think you’ll like what is waiting for you!”
She looked at the note that looked the same as all the other ones. The note said:
Go to hotel room #33.
y/n double checked that Kira was still on the phone and went up the elevator to the correct floor. She walked up to the door, but was hesitant to knock. It took her a full minute and many deep breaths to finally knock. When the door opened, she gasped at what she saw.
“Stiles?” She asked incredulously.
“Hi, y/n. I was nervous you weren’t going to come.”
y/n looked down at her phone to see that Kira had already hung up, “I-I, the notes were you the whole time?”
“Yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to do it. I was freaking out about the whole thing. I know things got messed up before and honestly, I don’t even know why. I didn’t want to mess up again, and I just thought this was the best way to get you to see that I was sorry.”
Y/n took a minute to look around the room. There were two queen beds, both covered in rose petals. There was a small, pink and red bag on one of them. There were actually rose petals everywhere. There were small candles lit all over the room, lights turned down. There was a bottle of champagne on ice and room service on a trolley that contained y/f/flowers in a beautiful vase. It was beautiful honestly, and clearly took a lot of thought.
“y/n?” Stiles started, as she had not said anything after his confession.
“I’m sorry, it’s- I mean this is beautiful. It’s amazing honestly. I can’t believe you did all of this.”
“I’ve loved you for a long time y/n. And I don’t know how exactly we got all fucked up, but I was nervous and scared about what would come to us when school started. I’ve wanted to tell you everyday since that whatever was going on was stupid and that we should be together, but I never could get it out and I’m sorry.” Stiles was nervous, not sure y/n felt the same.
“I don’t know what happened either, if I’m being honest..I felt the same. Scared and nervous. I’ve literally made myself miserable everyday, knowing that I should have done something about what happened. I love you. I’m sorry too, that I didn’t do anything to fix whatever happened. I knew from the moment I met you, that we were meant to be more than just friends.”
Stiles couldn’t hold back after he heard y/n’s confession, his feelings had been overwhelming for so long. He walked closer to her, placed his hand on her face gently, and placed his lips on hers. At first, it was sweet and slow, but y/n moved her hands to the back of his head, pulling him closer. When they both ran out of breath, they pulled away smiling at each other.
“Can I ask you a question?” y/n spoke first.
“Of course, anything.” Stiles answered.
“Why are there two beds?” y/n wiggled her eyebrows.
Stiles face turned red and his hand went to rub his chin, “I well, I mean I didn’t want to-uh...I didn’t want to assume anything, I just, I didn’t want to mess anything else.”
“Well I don’t think we’ll be needing it.” y/n said and pulled Stiles back to her, placing her lips on his again.
79 notes · View notes
chuu-nct · 3 years
Text
[10:43 p.m.]
— inspired by 'enough for you' by olivia rodrigo
you and jongho sat quietly on the large bleachers on the side of the soccer field.
"he isn't worth it. why are you still crying over him?"
"i just tried so hard for him jongho..."
you recalled the day you first laid your eyes on choi san, the star soccer player of the school. you had known each other since the 5th grade, even though he probably never noticed you until high school.
"san, please pair up with (y/n) for this project."
"hey, i'm san!"
"i know," you laughed, "everyone does. i'm (y/n) by the way."
"i don't even know why i liked him so much," you sighed, leaning your head onto your crossed arms.
i wore make-up when we dated 'cause i thought you'd like me more.
"(y/n), are you wearing foundation? and eyeliner?"
you blushed as you touched your face, "yeah, i just thought i'd try it out. it doesn't look bad, does it?"
your mother smiled as she packed your bag, "you look gorgeous."
you never liked wearing makeup on your skin as you felt that it was heavy under the hot weather, but you thought you might try it - for san. the week after you paired up with him, you walked timidly through the halls into math class, nervous of the possible reactions you would get.
"wow (y/n), you look different today!" the energetic boy spoke, sitting down next to you.
"thank you. is it a good or bad 'different'?"
"good. really good," san smiled.
and i knew how you took your coffee, and your favorite songs by heart.
through the days the two of you spent working on the project, you learned more and more about each other. you learned his coffee order by heart after studying at the local cafe with him, doing research, and laughing at what you’d find.
“have you ever heard of this group?” san asked as you walked side-by-side under the moonlit night.
“not that i know. are they new?”
“here, listen,” he spoke, handing you his right headphone while keeping the other in his own ear.
trying to place it comfortably in your own, you laughed as it was pulled out of his own ear due to the short wire. he smiled, taking his and putting it back into his ear as he stood much closer to you.
“there,” he smiled, “now the wire won’t be pulled.”
you blushed at the closeness of your bodies and hoped he wouldn’t be able to see your reddened face.
despite your wishes, san chuckled, “it’s funny seeing you flustered, (y/n).”
as the weeks went by, san and you remained close friends even after the project was submitted. there was not a day that you two wouldn’t sit together at lunch and spend your free period with each other at the roof.
“so, who are you taking to prom?” san asked.
you were sitting crisscrossed with him on a picnic blanket in the field behind the school as san had suggested.
“hmm, i’m not sure yet. how about you?”
“i had someone in mind,” he smirked, feeding you a grape.
“is it hanna from chem?”
“she’s cute, but no.”
“mirai?”
“nope.”
“haeseul?”
“never”
“then who?” you exclaimed, crossing your arms.
the boy laughed at your antics. “it’s you, idiot.”
after prom, san had asked you to be his girlfriend.
you sighed as you tried to recall the feeling you had that day. it was a mix of happiness, longing, excitement - pure euphoria.
the two of you continued to date for months and you believed he could never do any wrong. you were perfect for him and he for you.
“hey (y/n)?”
you stood at the front of the school as a boy from your music class had stopped you after your club practice.
“jongho, right? how can i help you?” you smiled.
“are you dating san? i heard you were...”
“i am,” you replied, confused as you wondered why he would care about that.
“i think you need to see something...”
you followed jongho through the halls as your heart was beating out of your chest. you were panicking, despite your mind telling you to trust san as he could never do anything wrong.
jongho stopped in front of the monitoring room above the gymnasium as he slowly opened the door, looking at you with a solemn face.
walking in, you looked out the window to the gymnasium only for your eyes to widen, your blood running cold.
“... with mirai...” you croaked, tears burning your eyes.
“i saw them one day when i stayed back to fix the computers here,” jongho explained while walking towards you, “i remember someone told me you were dating him but after seeing them, i thought you two were broken up. that was until i saw you kiss him a week later, and he was back here the same day with her in this same place.”
“why would you show me this,” you turned to him.
jongho looked sadly at at your reddened face, cheeks drenched from the tears that wouldn’t stop from flowing.
“i’ve been in a lot of your classes, (y/n). you’re a good person and you deserve so much better. i just thought you should’ve known.”
and you always say i'm never satisfied, but I don't think that's true 'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you.
“you’re so dramatic over this! it was one time!”
“jongho told me he’d seen you once before too!” you yelled, “if he only caught you once, how many more times were you with her when no one saw you?”
san ran after you after he spotted you and jongho watching him and mirai.
“what did you expect me to do? you were never satisfied lately with anything i did! i had practice more than usual and even when i took out time to see you, you complained because it wasn’t enough!”
you stared at him with anger, “you know that’s not true! i was mad because whenever we’d plan dates you would never tell me you’re busy and would just ghost me!
i put everything into this. i tried so hard for you to like me just to make sure i was enough for you! you never noticed how much i would try to do for you...”
don't you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded?
you walked slowly out of the school as your body felt heavy. a headache pounded throughout your head as you tried to think of anything but the heartache you were feeling.
“are you okay?”
you looked up, only to see jongho at the school's entrance.
although you wanted to reply, you felt too tired to. if anything, what could you say to him?
“i thought you’d need an umbrella. it’s raining and i didn’t see you with one,” he continued, raising the umbrella in his hand.
despite the rain pouring outside, the sun was shining brightly, creating an ethereal experience of colours and light.
you walked towards jongho, hiding under his umbrella. “thank you,” you spoke quietly.
jongho smiled as he nodded, “no worries. y’know, i love sun-showers. it kinda reminds me that even when things aren’t looking great, there’s still light all around us.”
you looked at him, taking in his genuine smile and excitement - the same way you had for someone else long ago.
but don't tell me you're sorry boy, feel sorry for yourself. 'cause someday, i'll be everything to somebody else.
87 notes · View notes
noona-clock · 3 years
Text
What’s Your Sign?: Capricorn
Genre: Dance Studio!AU
Pairing: Jaebum x You (Female!Reader)
Warnings: None
Words: 5,693
Author’s Note: Since I’m so fascinated by astrology, I decided to do a Zodiac series! I will be writing a one-shot fic for each sign featuring different members from different groups (and even an actor!). Each story will be posted on the 5th of the month during that sign’s season. Please reblog, comment, or send in an ask with your feedback! Thank you for your support 💜
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It was clear he didn’t want to be here.
And by ‘he’ you meant the dark-haired guy in your dance lesson whose facial expression betrayed that he would rather be anywhere else and doing anything else right now.
But you were a dance instructor. You’d been teaching for almost five years by now, so you had seen your fair share of begrudging students.
(Though, if you were being completely honest with yourself, none of the begrudging students you’d had so far had been quite this handsome... but that is absolutely besides the point.)
As you introduced yourself to your new class and began to go over the basics, you mentally prepared yourself to spend a little extra time with him -- the handsome, begrudging student. You’d discovered that some one-on-one time with the dancers who didn’t actually want to be dancers went a long way in helping them get more comfortable and enjoy themselves.
Usually, people who had no desire to take your class were being forced by a third party -- for some reason or another -- and it was pretty clear why they had no desire to take your class: their dancing skills left a lot to be desired.
But, only a few minutes into your instructions, you were more than surprised and shocked to see that this guy actually had some natural talent.
A lot of it.
But he also didn’t have a partner, so that one-on-one time you’d prepared for was incredibly easy to manage.
After you’d told everyone to pair off and start practicing the basic waltz square you’d just shown them, you weaved your way through the parquet floor to him with a somewhat cautious smile on your face.
If he wasn’t thrilled to be in your class in the first place, it was safe to assume he wouldn’t be thrilled for you to be his partner, but... there wasn’t much you could do about it now!
“Hi,” you greeted softly when you approached. “I noticed there wasn’t a partner for you, so I’m happy to --”
“Sure,” he muttered.
Of course, his terse interruption made you pause, but you recovered quickly and simply smiled at him. You then stepped closer to him, resting one hand on his shoulder and extending your other arm out to the side so the two of you could get into a waltzing stance.
As soon as he’d slid one hand around your waist and took the other one, grasping your fingers firmly, you waited for him to lead into the four-step box formation.
...And you almost yelped with surprise when he did.
His hold on your waist and fingers quickly became even more firm, and he pushed you subtly but confidently backward, dancing with you smoothly.
You’re not sure why this surprised you so much.
But it did.
And that made you a little uneasy.
“So,” you breathed, clearing your throat quietly. “What’s your name?”
His gaze had been inconspicuously aimed at the floor, most likely watching his feet, but it shifted to look at you when you asked your question.
“Jaebum,” he answered without hesitation, though his voice was still very brusque.
“Nice to meet you,” you replied with a slight dip of your chin. “I’m Y/N.”
“Yes, I know,” he murmured. “You introduced yourself about five minutes ago.”
You raised your eyebrows, unsure if you were bewildered or offended by his incredibly impolite response.
Probably a bit of both.
“...Right,” you said. But you had to maintain your composure and civility, so you added, “What brings you here?”
Rather than answering quickly and succinctly like he had previously, Jaebum simply furrowed his brow at you.
“You just seem less than enthusiastic, so I was curious as to why you’re here in the first place,” you explained, figuring you could at least be honest to counteract his almost-rudeness.
His forehead smoothed out, and he tilted his head to signal that you did have a point.
“One of my best friends is getting married in a few months, and he wants the wedding party to do this... dance routine.”
“And you’re not too excited about it?”
Jaebum shook his head.
“Well, if it helps, you’re a really good dancer.”
Again, Jaebum furrowed his brow at you, shooting you a confused, sidelong glance. “I am?”
He sounded genuinely perplexed which made you genuinely perplexed. He really didn’t know? Had he never taken one single dance class before?
“Yeah,” you chuckled. “You’re a natural.”
And naturally gorgeous, you thought.
Oh my god, why did you think that?
Besides the fact that it was true, of course.
To distract yourself from that thought, you added, “You haven’t taken any sort of class before?”
“No, never.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” you replied with the tiniest smirk you could muster. “You’ve barely even looked at your feet this whole time, and you haven’t tripped me once.”
Of course, Jaebum instinctively looked down at his feet and almost immediately stumbled.
“See? Once you looked down and thought too much about it, you messed up. You’ve got instinct.”
An expression of clear discomfort flashed across his face, and rather than insisting that you knew what you were talking about, you simply kept silent. You were only planning on continuing this exercise for another minute or so, and you would rather not make him any more uncomfortable than he already clearly was.
But when that minute was up... you realized... that you didn’t want to stop dancing with him.
Oh, boy. 
A student who had made you feel uneasy twice in the first half-hour of class.
That was quite unprecedented.
And... very disturbing.
When the two of you got to a good stopping point, you murmured under your breath that it was time to move on.
Jaebum responded immediately, pausing his movements and loosening his hold on your hand and waist to allow you to step away.
“All right, great job,” you said, turning away to face the rest of the class and doing your best to avoid any sort of eye contact with Jaebum. “I know it may seem repetitive, but this is the foundation of a waltz. You need to be really familiar with these steps, know how to do them in your sleep, before you can move on.”
You had everyone go through the steps on their own while you played different music tracks, helping them find the four-count beat in each song and showing they could waltz to really any style of music.
All in all, it was a pretty typical class.
Except for Jaebum.
You had tried to get him -- and the way he’d briefly made you feel -- out of your mind, and while you had been mostly successful when you hadn’t been looking at him... you had been the opposite of successful when you had.
And once the hour was up, you found yourself doing something you truly hadn’t ever expected to do. The thought had never crossed your mind, yet you couldn’t stop your body from walking toward Jaebum, an anxious grin plastered on your lips.
“I was just --” you began, though you were quickly interrupted by a departing student who thanked you for a great class. “Oh, sure, you’re welcome.”
You pressed your lips together then, your gaze following the student and waiting for her to vanish through the studio door.
When she did, you looked back to Jaebum and saw that he was already looking at you, his gaze expectant. You jumped a little -- though, you weren’t quite sure why you were surprised that he was looking at you. You had been just about to say something to him.
After letting out a breathless chuckle, you inhaled sharply and continued on from earlier. “I was just wondering -- you said your friend is wanting to do some sort of routine? For his wedding?”
Jaebum nodded. “During the reception. The bridal party is all going to do a... ballroom dance... thing.”
“Do you know if the choreography is finished?”
“I believe so,” he answered, slightly lowering his brows.
You gulped.
“I -- I mean, I would be happy to help you learn it if you want to -- have the time. You could stay after class or come in whenever you’re free. I can shift things around if I need to, this job is pretty flexib --”
“Okay.”
And you were surprised yet again.
He had actually said yes? Even though you definitely sounded a bit like a bumbling idiot right now?
“Oh, good!” you said with a relieved sigh, your lips spreading into a grin.
“I can’t stay much longer today, but if you have time tomorrow?”
For some reason your instinct was to reply immediately -- in the positive, of course -- but you forced yourself to actually pull up your schedule in your head to look and make sure.
“I’m very free in the afternoon,” you told him after a few moments. “From after lunch until about four.”
Jaebum nodded tersely and said, “I can be here at two” before murmuring his thanks and heading toward the exit.
You stood there, in the same exact spot, for about five minutes after he left, mainly because you were dumbstruck. You had no idea why you’d done that, and you had no idea why you were so relieved (and excited) that he had accepted your offer.
You had literally never offered private lessons -- private free lessons! -- to a student before. Many students had requested them, absolutely, but you had never offered.
The only reason you could think of as to why you’d done this was because Jaebum was so... intriguing. He fit the stereotype almost exactly for the “Perfect Man.” Tall, dark, and handsome. Strong and silent.
...And did you mention handsome?
Very handsome.
But that was actually more of a reason not to give him private lessons. You wanted to spend more time with him, of course. But you shouldn’t.
You really, really, really shouldn’t.
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Rather than wait in jittery anticipation for Jaebum to show up, you spent the first part of your day keeping as busy as you could.
You had two classes basically back-to-back in the morning, which definitely helped keep your mind off the perfectly handsome man arriving at the studio in the early afternoon. And once those classes finished, you took a lunch break and headed to a nearby deli for one of your favorite sandwiches.
Between lunch and Jaebum’s arrival time, you decided to clean the entire studio from top to bottom because that was just what you did when you were stressed or nervous: you cleaned.
A small cleaning crew visited the studio once a week to keep the floors and mirrors gleaming, of course, but it had been a little while since you’d wiped down your office and deep cleaned the reception area.
You dusted and vacuumed and scrubbed and decluttered and even rearranged some furniture just to change things up -- for almost two hours.
And it wasn’t until a quarter to two that you realized you’d made a rather large mistake.
Cleaning and rearranging furniture for two hours was hard work, and now -- fifteen minutes before Jaebum was set to arrive -- you found yourself exhausted and sweaty.
I mean, you were exhausted and sweaty a lot. Obviously. You were a dance teacher. 
But the exhausted and sweaty parts of your day were always at the end of class, after you’d done all the work, not at the beginning.
...And your classes typically did not involve an incredibly good-looking man whom you were nervous about spending time with.
After putting away the cleaning supplies in the closet, you quickly ran into the bathroom to splash some water on your face. You then headed into your office and dug around in your bag for the emergency vial of perfume you kept in there -- just in case.
Thank goodness you did because it really came in handy in this moment.
Just as you stepped out of your office and back into the studio, closing the door behind you, you heard the clack of footsteps on the dance floor.
“Hello?” a soft but deep voice called out.
You jumped a little, your gaze snapping over to the studio entrance and landing on Jaebum.
A quick glance to the clock above the mirrors showed you that he was almost ten minutes early -- and that only heightened your intrigue.
You loved a man who was early.
“Hi!” you blurted out suddenly, realizing you hadn’t yet answered him. “Hi, come on in. Welcome.”
Jaebum reached into his pocket as he walked over to you, retrieving his phone and tapping on the screen with a wrinkled forehead. “My friend sent me the video of the choreography,” he muttered, his eyes flashing up at you briefly over his phone screen.
“Oh, perfect,” you grinned. You came to a stop in front of him, resting your hands on your hips as you waited for him to find the video and show you.
“Here,” he mumbled before doing just that -- turning his phone around and showing you the video.
You leaned in, and only then did you realize this was a bad idea.
Obviously, watching something on a person’s phone meant you had to be standing rather close to that person, leaning in until your heads were almost touching.
And that’s exactly what was happening right now.
You were standing rather close to Jaebum, your heads almost touching.
And, boy, did he smell amazing.
It took almost every ounce of willpower in you to concentrate on the video and not on how amazing he smelled.
When the video finished, you took a step back, hoping you hadn’t backed away from him too obviously. If you were going to be learning this choreography together, you certainly didn’t want him to think you couldn’t stand being close to him. Because that wasn’t even true! 
It was just... difficult. In a good way. Kind of.
“That seems fairly straightforward,” you said, pushing all these thoughts out of your mind as best as you could.
“Yeah?” Jaebum asked, turning to look at you, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
“Absolutely. You want to give it a shot?”
He nodded and took off his jacket, hanging it up on the rack by the door before joining you in the middle of the dancefloor. He set up his phone against the mirror, and you began guiding him through the choreography, step-by-step.
Only a few minutes in, and Jaebum stopped you. “How... how do you know the routine already? We watched it once, and you’re not even referring back to the video.”
A frown curved your lips, and you lifted your shoulders into a shrug. “I... don’t know? I just remember it.”
“Seriously?” he asked with a soft chuckle of disbelief. “How?”
“I don’t know,” you repeated. “I’ve always been this way, with dance especially. I can just picture it in my mind.”
“So, you have a photographic memory.”
...How had you never realized that before?
“I guess so?” you chuckled. “I just never thought it was different than what anyone else could do.”
A half-smile tugged at Jaebum’s lips as he got back into the dancing position, and he murmured, “No. I absolutely cannot do that.”
“Well, then, it’s a good thing I’m the dance teacher,” you retorted, trying to suppress a smirk.
He laughed softly, and you ignored the fluttering in your heart.
You spent the next hour and a half going through the first part of the routine, and even though Jaebum claimed he wasn’t able to learn choreography like you did, he still caught on quickly.
“No, you’re honestly doing a great job,” you assured him after deciding to stop for the day. “I told you, you’re a natural dancer. You have instinct!”
Jaebum simply shook his head, but you saw the smile he was trying to hold back.
As he went back toward the door to retrieve his jacket, he glanced over his shoulder at you and said, “Are you free to keep going? Go over the rest of the routine?”
“Absolutely! I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that for a wedding.”
“What if it was a birthday party?”
“Yes, maybe.”
You heard Jaebum’s deep, low chuckle, and even though you’d just spent over an hour touching him and dancing with him and being extremely close to him, the sound of his laugh still sent a shiver down your spine.
What was this guy doing to you?
“What does your schedule look like?” he asked as he slipped his jacket back on.
“Oh, here -- let me write it down for you,” you said, taking a step toward your office.
“Or --” Jaebum blurted out.
You paused, raising your eyebrows and shifting your gaze to him.
“Or you could... just text it to me.” He still had his phone handy from playing the dance video on repeat during the lesson, and he held it up as to emphasize his suggestion.
“Oh!” you chirped. “Well -- I mean, yeah, sure. That -- that works.”
Jaebum opened his mouth to say something, but then he stopped himself. He narrowed his eyes slightly at you and said, “If I just tell it to you, will you remember it without having to write it down?”
Your eyes widened with minor panic. “...Yes?” you replied uncertainly even though you were absolutely certain you could do that.
He let out a soft, breathy chuckle and shook his head.
After he told you his phone number, he murmured his thanks for the lesson and then headed through the door without another word.
You waited approximately ten seconds before scrambling to your office, fishing your phone out of your bag, and quickly entering the number into your contacts.
You wouldn’t have forgotten it, but... still. You didn’t want to take any chances. It wasn’t every day that an incredibly attractive and fascinating guy gave you his phone number.
Not that you would use it for anything other than sending him your schedule.
But. Yeah.
Jaebum was absolutely incredibly attractive and fascinating.
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Either Jaebum was not a busy man or he...
Well, you weren’t actually sure what the other most viable option was.
Because the only things you could think were that he just really wanted to learn this dance routine for the wedding reception... or he just really wanted to spend time with you.
And that was definitely just wishful thinking.
Either way, Jaebum was -- apparently -- able to fit in a private lesson whenever your schedule allowed.
Did he not work? Or was he taking a lot of time off for this? Or maybe his job allowed him to be flexible like yours did.
There were so many questions you wanted to ask him and so little courage you had to actually ask them.
When he came back two days after your first private lesson, you began the lesson with those questions still occupying your thoughts but ended it with another question on your mind entirely.
And, for some reason (seemingly everything about Jaebum was a mystery, I guess, including your reactions to him), you found the question tumbling from your lips as he was putting his jacket back on to leave.
You had just spent another hour and a half teaching him the second half of the choreography; another hour and a half touching and dancing with him. Maybe that had bolstered your courage enough?
“Why do you not want to do this?” you asked, tilting your head curiously. “The dance at the wedding.”
Jaebum paused for a moment before turning to face you. “I just... What -- what do you mean?”
You felt your cheeks warms, but you continued on. “You were just so... not happy to be in that first class, and... I don’t know. Whenever I bring it up, you get this look on your face.”
His eyebrows flew halfway up his forehead. “I do?”
“Yeah,” you chuckled.
He stood there just for a second before letting out a sigh and taking a few steps toward you. “To be honest, I’m not thrilled about having to dance in front of a room full of people I don’t really know.”
While you couldn’t exactly relate to the sentiment, you still understood what it was like to be scared to do something. Or, at the very least, be uncomfortable about it.
“You’re going to do a great job,” you assured him, your heart starting to skip a beat here and there as he got closer to you.
Seriously? You had just been dancing with him. Touching him. 
“I’m not saying I don’t trust you,” he said, shaking his head. “But... I’m just not... confident about it. And I don’t like that.”
Jaebum was such the epitome of the Strong and Silent type -- so far, at least -- that you couldn’t even imagine him not being fully confident in himself. And the way he danced definitely wasn’t something to be insecure about it!
“I don’t know,” he added with a roll of his eyes. “I just don’t see the point in doing a choreographed dance at a wedding.”
Okay, now that made you laugh.
“Because it’s fun,” you chuckled. “Receptions are basically just a big party, and most parties involve dancing, right?”
“Well, yeah,” he shrugged. “But they don’t have to. And you can dance without doing some full-fledged routine.”
“This is true,” you agreed, though it was mainly just to appease him.
“In my opinion, weddings should be about the marriage. The relationship. The vows you make. Not cutting a cake or a DJ playing viral songs no one really wants to hear.”
...Well. You couldn’t argue with him there.
“So, when it’s your turn to get married, you don’t even need to have a reception.”
And your heart was acting funny again. Thinking about Jaebum getting married both made you hopeful that it would be your wedding, as well, and upset that -- realistically -- it would not be. You were just his dance teacher, and he was only taking lessons until the wedding. It was highly unlikely he would come back to continue his education, and even though you had his phone number now... why would you ever have a reason to use it?
“Don’t worry,” he murmured. “I absolutely plan on eloping. Or only inviting my family and having just a small ceremony.”
“Ah, good. Now I know not to be offended when I don’t receive an invitation.”
Um... okay? Why? Had you just said that?
Thankfully, Jaebum simply smiled that tiny half-smile of his and let out a soft chuckle.
Was it weird that after spending time with Jaebum only three times you already knew his signature smile?
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Despite the fact you had taught Jaebum the entire dance backwards and forwards and there was literally nothing else you could do to help him, he continued to request private lessons. He continued to show up whenever you had a free hour or two, no matter the time or day.
And while this behavior would usually suggest some sort of romantic feelings on his part, he also continued to be Strong and Silent.
He talked to you during your lessons, of course, but he was never talkative. He was always polite, but he wasn’t super... friendly.
So, in conclusion, you were still as mystified and confused by Jaebum as ever.
He didn’t like dancing but he was amazing at it.
He didn’t need you to teach him anymore but he still showed up at your studio.
You just wished you could peek into that brain of his -- just for a minute! -- to see what he was thinking.
And, because you were his teacher, you never felt comfortable asking why. Why was he still asking for lessons when he didn’t need them? Why was he always so guarded around you? Why did he never ask about your personal life?
I swear, if Jaebum ever asked if you had a boyfriend, your heart would absolutely combust.
Maybe one day you would ask him all those questions, but by then, he wouldn’t be coming to your classes any longer, and what would be the point?
Apparently, you were thinking too much about all of this because, all of a sudden, Jaebum’s voice broke through the haze in your mind.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice forceful enough to make it obvious it wasn’t the first time he’d said it.
“Sorry,” you replied hastily with a shake of your head. “Zoned out.”
“Did you hear what I said?” he asked as he stood by the coat rack, getting ready to put his jacket back on before he left with hardly a word.
That had become his routine after every class, and you had come to expect nothing different.
“Hmm? Oh -- no, sorry. What did you say?”
“I said the wedding is this weekend, so I won’t need to come back any more.”
...Oh.
That was not what you wanted to hear.
“Oh,” you replied, doing your best to sound... well, not upset about it. “Well, I know you’re going to do an amazing job --”
“I’m more nervous than I thought I would be,” he interrupted.
You froze, your mouth slightly hanging open and your unspoken words hanging from your lips.
But then you quickly pulled yourself together and said, “You are?”
He nodded tersely.
But he didn’t elaborate.
So, you bit. “...Why?”
“Because I know how to dance it with you, and what if it’s different with someone else as my partner?”
“I mean, yeah, it’ll be different,” you confirmed. “But you know the steps through and through. Even if the bridesmaid is a terrible dancer, you’ll be able to carry her through it, I promise.”
Jaebum let out a sigh and his head tilted forward, his chin practically touching his chest.
“You’ll be fi --”
“What I really wanted to say is that I wish it could be you and not someone else,” he said, interrupting you again in a quiet but strong voice.
...You stared at him.
And blinked.
“...Excuse me?”
Without hesitating, Jaebum strode over to you, only stopping when he was as close to you as he was while you’d danced.
You tilted your head to look up into his eyes, though yours were still too wide with shock to say anything.
“I... I feel more comfortable dancing with you than doing... anything else. And the reason I kept asking to come back even after you taught me the whole dance is because... I just wanted to be with you.”
Okay, you were fairly certain you were no longer breathing.
You certainly couldn’t speak at the moment, so it was very possible that your heart and lungs had just stopped working.
“You are... incredible,” he continued. “Confident and talented and kind and beautiful.”
You repeated the word ‘beautiful’, though you couldn’t even hear your own voice so you must have simply mouthed it.
...Was he really saying all this to you?
To you?
And since it was obvious you weren’t going to actually say anything yet, Jaebum continued.
“You’re why I haven’t stopped coming back. I only joined your class because my friend practically forced me; he’s one of my closest friends, and I would do anything for him, but I truly could not care less about this dumb wedding dance. I would have happily fumbled my way through it if you hadn’t been so... wonderful.”
Okay, at this point, you kind of felt like you were more shocked to hear this many words coming out of his mouth at once. You’d been teaching Jaebum for almost three months, and you were fairly certain he hadn’t said more than two sentences back-to-back.
And you, who normally had no trouble speaking, could only reply with a whispered, “...Really?”
Jaebum simply nodded, and you felt more at ease. A simple nod was much more in character.
But you had no idea what else to say because there was too much you wanted to say.
Apparently, your racing thoughts showed through on your face because Jaebum stopped waiting for you to say something. “I... don’t really want to invite you to be my date to the wedding since... I’m a groomsman and all. You would have to sit by yourself, and I don’t want to make you do that.”
Ah, so, he was thoughtful, too.
“So... maybe you’d like to meet up after the wedding? I mean, like, go out. Not meet up. Go out. On a... date.”
“Yes,” you replied, finally able to force some actual words out of your mouth. “Yes, I would love to. Please.”
And then, Jaebum’s lips curved into a smile.
A real smile.
A full-on, teeth-showing smile -- not the half-smile you’d gotten used to.
Your heart stopped.
I mean, it felt like it stopped.
And you were immensely glad he hadn’t smiled like this before because oh my god. You wouldn’t have been able to go on teaching him. You would’ve fainted.
Even now, you had to reach out and grab a hold of his arms to steady yourself.
But Jaebum must have thought you were going in for the hug, so took another step closer to you and slid his arms around your waist, pressing his fingers into the small of your back and enveloping you in his embrace.
It took you approximately .0001 seconds to melt into him, feeling the strong wall of his chest and the secure cage of his arms around you.
You’d danced with him countless times by now. His hands had held your waist for hours, and yet... You had never experienced this sensation before.
And you knew right then and there that you never wanted to live another day without experiencing it again.
OTHER SIGNS: ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, SAGITTARIUS, AQUARIUS, PISCES
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hemmingslftv · 3 years
Text
Not in the same way
Word count: 3k Warning: angst, mention of abortion. Requested: no but requests are open! A/N: hi! It's been almost a year since I last posted on here but I've had this idea on my mind for a while now and I just needed to write it down so here it is. I wrote it real quick so I don't think it's one of my best works. Enjoy! and, as always, any feedback is appreciated. Masterlist
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- C'mon! We're gonna be late for your own party! - Ashton shouted while you ran down the stairs of the house you both shared as fast as you could with your high heels.
- I'm ready! - you said and you gave him a quick peck on his cheek while he grabbed the keys to your car.
It was your 25th birthday and Ashton had planned the perfect party. He had rented a house just outside of LA and you both wanted to get there before everyone arrived so you could welcome them. At first, you weren't so excited about the idea because you loved to spend time with your friends but you didn't really enjoy crowded places. But Ashton had convinced you that you only turn 25 once and you should celebrate it.
You arrived right after Calum, who was the first one to get there. One by one all your friends and family got there and you had to admit it was exciting to share the same space with everyone and to know that they were there for you. As the afternoon went by, you all had a few drinks and ate while chatting to each other, there was a chilled environment and you loved it.
When it was around 10PM, Ashton decided it was time for his speech. You knew it was coming sooner or later, he loved to speak in front of people and you loved to listen to him express his love for you so openly.
- Baby, can you come here for a bit? - he asked after everyone was silent. You blushed, the shyness that characterized you coming to the surface.
- Is it really necessary? - you asked making everyone laugh (even though it was a genuine question). Ashton smiled at you softly and you protested silently and started walking towards him.
- Thank you, love - he whispered once you were close enough so that only you would listen.
- So, as everyone already knows - he started his speech - it's y/n's 25th birthday today, which means she's getting old, but don't tell her or she'll freak out - you punched him jokingly on his arm and giggled - and it also means it's the 5th birthday I get to spend with the love of my life - he looked at you and you could see his eyes full of love, making you feel the luckiest girl on the planet. You stared at each other for apparently too long because Luke had to clear his throat to tell him to continue.
- Sorry, I got lost on her, it happens quite often - he said earning a few "aws" from the crowd - So, as I was saying, I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend my life with - he turned to face you and took your hands on his.
- y/n, I know you think I'm too cheesy or sentimental sometimes, but I need to tell you how I feel because I need you to feel loved. You've gone through so much and I've come to realize you must be the strongest person on earth because you have made it out of every possible situation, and always keeping a smile on your face. You've made me the man I am today, you helped me get out of my addiction and you stuck by my side when I didn't deserve you to, but I desperately needed you to. I think we both helped each other to love ourselves and we can put ourselves first in this relationship and I think that's what has kept us strong for a little bit over 5 years now. We went through the saddest event of our life together - you knew he was referring to the abortion you had almost a year ago that nobody knew about except for you two and you couldn't help but shed a few tears. You could tell his eyes were teary too and after a short pause, he continued - but we worked past it and we got out of it together, and stronger than we were before. y/n, you are the love of my life, you are the woman I want to wake up next to every day, my whole heart belongs to you and I couldn't imagine a future without you so - he said while kneeling down, making you cover your mouth with your hands as you realized what was going on.
- Ashton please don't - you tried to say, but you weren't sure if the words had actually come out of your mouth or if they were loud enough for him to listen. You were panicking more than you ever had before and you wished he was able to see it in your eyes. He was always so good at reading you, but this time he didn't, he was too excited himself to notice how your whole body tensed as he continued.
- So, y/f/n, do you wanna marry me? - he asked with hope and happiness written all over his face. You were frozen, this was the last thing you were expecting from this party and you felt suddenly trapped in your own body, unable to move. After a couple of seconds, Ashton tilted his head, waiting for your answer and you could tell he was starting to get nervous. - I... y/n? do you want to marry me? - he insisted and you snapped back to yourself but to everyone's surprise, you turned around and started running towards your car.
You ran as fast as you could. Halfway there you stopped to remove your heels and even though your heart was pumping louder than it ever had before you could listen to your best friend shouting for you to wait for her. But you didn't. You kept running until you got to your car and drove away.
As soon as you got home you started packing a bag. You didn't even know where you were going but you were more than sure you weren't welcome here anymore. You expected to cry at some point but you didn't, all you felt was numb. Not even 10 minutes after you had arrived you had your bag ready and you were about to leave your room when you heard the door open. "Shit" you muttered to yourself.
- Do you want me to stay? - you heard Calum ask from outside the door.
- No, it's fine. I can take it from here.
- Okay, call me if you need anything - he said before you heard the door closing. You took a deep breath, grabbed the bag, and started walking towards the door.
- Are you leaving? - Ashton asked as he saw you enter the living room. His tone wasn't an angry one, as you had expected, he sounded just sad. You were too ashamed to even look at him but you thought that was the least you could do and you built up the courage to look him in the eye.
- I guess, I didn't think you'd want me to stay here
- What? Why not? I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I wanted you to leave
- No, I know, but I mean, after what just happened. Not only did I reject you but I also run away leaving you all alone to deal with the mess I made and I did it in front of all our friends
- Please stay, we need to talk - he said getting closer to you and you dropped the bag to the floor while he held your hand guiding you through your house. Both of you sat on the kitchen table, the place where you always had your serious talks - I need you, to be honest with me, do you not love me anymore? Have you fallen out of love with me? Is there... - he looked down for a second and you could see his jaw and hands clench - is there someone else you've been seeing? I know you always try to protect me but I need to know, I promise I can handle it
- No, no, no, no, why would you? Well, I mean, I can see why you would think that but no, since the day I met you, there's never been anyone else. And of course, I still love you, I love you more and more every day.
- You love me, just not in the same way I do, right?
- I don't know what you mean
- You say you love me, and I believe you, but you don't love me enough to marry me, is that it? Am I getting it right?
- No, I - you tried to reply
- 'Cause I would give my life for you, do you hear me? I would literally die if it meant you were safe. I'd do anything for you. And to be completely honest, I thought we were on the same page.
- We are, I promise, I would die for you too, Ash. But I don't know, I didn't expect you to ask me to be your wife just then and there, out of nowhere.
- Well, I guess that's the point, it's supposed to be a surprise, you know?
- Yeah, I know, but people talk about it first!
- C'mon! We've talked about it. I've told you a million times I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and all those times you agreed, how was I supposed to know you didn't want to marry me?
- It's not that I don't want to. I do want to wake up next to you every morning and I definitely want to grow old with you.
- What's it then? Why did you run?
- I'm not sure. I panicked. I could perfectly picture us together in 10 years, 20 or 40, and with all our kids and grandkids but I don't know, being your wife? That's a responsibility I doubt I am good enough for. How do you know you won't get tired of me? I mean, I'm great, but we both know I'm not the best you could have. You could literally marry any girl, and you chose me. And I guess I hadn't realized that until tonight and it was just too much for my brain to process at the same time. I'm sorry I ruined everything. See? That's what I mean, I am not perfect.
- I don't want perfect babe, I want you. And I will always want you. You would be the best wife ever, I just know it. You've been the best girlfriend all these years, it's not gonna change because we change the label.
- So you don't hate me?
- Of course not, I could never hate you. I get it, maybe I should have talked to you first, not ruining the surprise but making sure you had in mind it could happen soon.
- Yeah, that would have been great - you smiled slightly and relaxed when he smiled back at you. You thought you had ruined your relationship and you could now see that nothing could ruin what you both had, it was too strong.
- By the way, I think your father hates me, I left him quite angry but I didn't really have time to deal with that.
- Oh god, I'm so sorry - you both laughed for a bit, and then you asked - Ash?
- Hmm? - he mumbled looking at you.
- I do want to marry you - you were sure about your decision, you knew there wasn't anyone better for you than him and if he was just as convinced, why not take it a step further?
- Yeah, you do? - he said while he got up from his seat and you did the same - then let me try this again - he reached for the velvet box in the pocket of his jeans.
- You know what? - you said taking the box from his hand - let me try this time - You knelt just as he had done almost an hour ago and took a deep breath - Ashton Irwin, you light up my days, you are the reason I wake up every morning, the first and the last thought I have every day. Every moment I spend with you becomes my favorite one so far and I haven't really had time to prepare this speech and you know I'm not as good as you with words but I love you. I've never known anyone with a busier schedule than yours and you have made time for me every single day I needed it, and I think that shows how much you care for me, and I want you to know I care just as much. Every single feeling you have for me, I have for you, and I couldn't picture my life without you. Ashton Fletcher Irwin, do you want to marry me? - you said as a few tears slipped down your cheeks.
- Yes, of course, I wanna marry you! - he cheered holding your arms and helping you get up so he could kiss you.
- I don't have a ring but you do so, do you mind doing the honors? - you said opening the velvet box. He took the silver ring at slid it down your finger. It fit perfectly and it was the most precious ring you had ever seen.
- Do you like it? - he asked while kissing your cheeks and nose, cleaning the tears that still run down your face.
- I love it boo, it's perfect - you kissed him and the kiss heated up quickly but you took a step back as soon as his grip on your waist got a bit loose.
- What are you doing? I want you - he pouted.
- I know, I want you too but I need to tell you something before - you ran to your purse to get a little present you had planned on giving to Ashton at your birthday party. When you got back to the kitchen, he was already shirtless. You groaned at the view and bit your lower lip - I told you to wait - you said shaking your head so you could focus.
- I can't, you're too hot! - he giggled.
- I love you. Open this - you said handing him the small package. He knitted his brows together.
- I have no idea what this is - he said starting to open it.
- I know - you pressed the record button on your phone without him realizing and put the phone on the countertop so it recorded his reaction. You were excited for him to finally know what you had kept to yourself for almost 4 months now.
- It's a box! - he joked while he ripped out the paper it was wrapped in. As soon as he opened it you could see the tears building upon his eyes and they started running eagerly down his face as he held the tiny converse shoes that were inside the box - Are you? Please tell me you're not kidding me - you shook your head 'no', not able to contain your tears either - Oh my god! Are you okay?
- Yes, we're perfectly fine and healthy - you said while he hugged you and spun you around - I'm 4 months in.
- You're what? And you haven't told me? Babe, you don't have to keep doing things on your own, I'm here for you now.
- I know, I just didn't want to get your hopes up just in case, you know, I failed again
- Don't, please. It wasn't your fault, those horrible things just happen and they shouldn't, but they do, there was nothing you could have done better - he put his hand on your belly softly making you shiver - So that's why you haven't been drinking lately - you nodded.
- And that's why I wasn't in the mood for morning sex either. To be honest, I thought that was gonna give it away.
- Well, I had no clue, I thought it was just a phase. I can't believe we're gonna be parents babe, and you planned on leaving me with our creation inside you? - he teased.
- I hadn't thought about that! okay? I have the perfect excuse, it was the hormones - you laughed and removed his hand off your belly so you could pull your dress up - if you look closely you can clearly see them growing, I think it's showing already.
- Oh my god! It totally is! How have I not noticed this?
- You're not the greatest observer I guess
- Yeah, I'm definitely not. Did you go to the doctor's appointments all by yourself?
- No, Calum always came with me, he's the only one who I knew would keep the secret.
- Calum? Oh, so that's why he was so sure you weren't cheating.
- Did you seriously thought I was seeing someone else? - you asked kind of hurt.
- No, not really. I guess I was just trying to go through every possible situation in my head so that it wouldn't take me by surprise.
- I'm sorry Ash - you said cupping his face with your hands - I shouldn't have run. It's the last thing you deserve. You've done nothing but be there for me all these years.
- So have you, it's okay. Are you ready to share the news with the world? - he asked with a sparkle in his eyes.
- I guess so, I was gonna tell you in front of everyone at the party, now that the first trimester is over the chances of it going
- Shh, don't even think about it. It's gonna be okay - he assured you while he hugged you from behind - let me capture this moment - he got his phone out of his pocket and took a picture of his hand holding yours, with the wedding ring on it, on your belly - perfect - he whispered once he was happy with the result.
He posted it on Instagram with the caption "I couldn't have asked for a better mum for my children, including the one that's on the way. Love you forever y/n, your future husband".
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causalgelato1993445 · 3 years
Text
Drunken Snaps & Unrequited love
Chapter two
pairing: felix x reader, with a hint of chan
word count: 1,376 
warnings: mentions of alcohol abuse and fighting
group: skz
The morning is fresh, and rich with the smell of earthy autumn leaves. A cool breeze drifts through the holes in my cream sweater, and on any other day, I'd exhale with a smile and thank the universe for a cool day to break the cycle of endless heat. Today, however, I'm holding in that breath. My body is tense and stiff. I’ve dreaded this Monday morning and its consequences for two days.
As I slide into the seat of my car, I open snapchat, and read over the messages to which I still haven't responded. Part of me feels guilty, and rightfully so. Felix does not deserve to be left on open. However the situation is tricky, and I fear saying the wrong thing. 
Last Friday, I made a big mistake.
Before Christopher arrived, Felix Lee and I were best friends. We grew up together, experienced middle school alongside one another. We giggled together when Mrs. Miller would mispronounce words, or when Peter DeWitt would run down the halls screaming profanities. The beauty of public school was the friends i’d made, and the heartbreaks, and the fights and make ups. And all the while the smaller blonde remained by my side, faithfully, as if it were his only responsibility.
It never occurred to me why…
Felix is a straight A student. He does his community service at the local animal shelter to play with all the “lonely dogs”. He’s on the swim team, and swimming has given him a beautiful physique, but the boy only wears baggy sweaters and hoodies. He is trustworthy and patient, and anyone would be lucky to have him. And yet, he chose me.
In another life, if I'd never met Christopher, I might have loved felix.
When Chris moved here, and started school our freshman year, Felix grew distant. He hung around less, came over less, and began cancelling plans. He snarled his nose when I would speak of chris. He would act annoyed when I would lose myself in thoughts of him. And now, I understand.
The smell of sweat, and ungodly amounts of Victoria's secret perfume hits me like a brick as I walk through the doors. I’m eyeing my surroundings, turning every corner with caution so I don't run into Felix unintentionally. Of course, I plan on confronting him eventually, but for now, avoiding him seems to be the most promising option. The homeroom bell has not rung yet, so i opt for a quick stop by my locker. It would benefit my stressed out mind not to have 30 extra pounds of weight on my back.
But my heart stops when I see him standing at my locker. Why him, why now. 
“uh...Chris. What’s up?”
He’s leaning against my locker, arms crossed with a friendly smile. 
“Oh, hey, I was waiting for you!” He speaks in his thick aussie accent. I do my best not to melt into a puddle.
“Yea, I noticed. What can I help you with?” I ask. It’s too early for this.
“Actually, (y/n) was it? I need some help with something, and I was told you could help. Do you know Clara?” He asks. I flinch at the name. And suddenly i realize, she was the blonde girl with the flowers.
“You mean Clara Casteel? Yeah, Why?”
“Well,” he reaches a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “I was hoping you would talk to her for me.”
“uhhh...Clara and I haven't talked since 5th grade. You know we aren’t-”
“I know I know, the big fight, your parents, the drinking. You aren’t friends with her anymore. But why would that stop you from at least trying?” He persists. I stare at him in confusion. Why would he push me to talk to her if he knew what had happened. And who told him that I would?
“I...i’m gonna get to class.” I mutter, brows furrowed.
The lunch bell rings, and I’m awoken from my class nap. Nobody seems to have suspected anything. I rise from my seat slowly and stretch out my stiff limbs. Something catches my eye. A tiny ghost notification. My heart beats a little faster and I curse at myself for being so afraid. 
I open up a snap, and as I suspected, it’s felix. This time, without thinking i open it to reveal all four messages. 
“(y/n)? Did you get my snap?”
“Am I bothering you?”
“When can I see you?” and finally
“(y/n) i’m sitting in the far left corner at the empty table. Please come sit with me.”
I sigh, collecting my things and trudging to the lunchroom. When I arrive, marissa waves me over, but my eyes instinctively drift to the far left corner. And there he is. In front of him is a single chocolate muffin and a ceramic travel mug of tea. He’s sporting an oversized blue knit sweater and a pair of ripped jeans, his platinum locks tousled from the outdoor wind. He must have walked to starbucks for lunch. 
The boy has his slim legs crossed at the calves, and he’s giggling at something on his phone. I almost want to go sit with him. I start to turn to head towards marissa’s table, when i see felix pop his head up. He immediately looks at me, and breaks out in a grin. Suddenly, the boy waves me over, pulling a small Starbucks bag up from the seat next to him. Que the guilt.
Against my better judgement I start to walk over, and he’s practically buzzing with excitement. When I reach the table, the boy is at his peak of happiness. 
“Oh, (y/n) for a second i thought you wouldn’t show, but i’m so glad you did. I saw you finally opened my snaps, you must not have gotten them until today.” he rambles. I crack a smile. 
“Yeah, I got them. Is that for me?” I smirk. He grins, and he resembles the sun.
“Oh, yeah! It's a lemon pound cake. I know it’s your favorite.” he bounces it off his seat as he hands it to me. It’s a little crumbled. I chuckle.
The blonde stares down bashfully as I take a bite of it, pulling his small hands into the holes of his sleeves. For a minute I can see the sheer infatuation in his eyes. He’s so genuine, and full of life. He deserves to have someone, he deserves to be loved on. But I just don’t want to push him further away than I already had.
“You know,” he mumbles, “I almost questioned if that snap was even for me. But why else would you have talked to me at hyunjin’s party?” I frown, resting my chin on my palm. “Anyway, I'm glad you did. I’ve loved you since 6th grade. I felt so bad for you after what happened with Clara. I thought you were still hung up on chris.”
“Well…” I begin “we’ll see what happens.” I gave a weak smile, taking another bite of the treat. 
“Can I take you out this weekend? Well, I mean...you’ll have to drive us, but dinner is on me.” he smiles bashfully. 
Before I have the opportunity to answer, the bell rings yet again. We stand, and Felix does a small stretch. He waddles over to me with his arms outstretched, and embraces me around my waist. He has a look of joy on his face, almost as if he were a child holding a puppy. 
As the lunchroom grows empty, the boy looks at me in the eyes for the first time with red cheeks. Platinum bangs falling into his eyes. 
“(y/n), i missed you. Please don’t forget about me this time.” he whispers. The room is silent as we stand alone in the far left corner of the lunch room. I brush the hair away from his face and he wrinkles his nose. 
“I’ll pick you up at 5:00 on friday” I whisper to him, letting go of his small body and exiting through the metal doors. 
Outside the art room, Clara Casteel giggles, twirling her hair as Chris smiles his lopsided smile. Our eyes meet as I pass by.
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