#Holy State--Of Self-Praising

[byuntrash101]

𖤐 𝕯𝖆𝖒𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝕾𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖙 𖤐

pairing — fem!nun!reader x sin of lust!seonghwa ft. ateez as the other sins

rating — smut | mdni

wc — 13.7k

synopsis — life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.

nsfw tags under the cut

tags — *strap up babes this is a wild one*, a tad of plot, my attempt at humor, heavy religious/blasphemous themes (don't read if you're uncomfy <3), inclusive writing (reader is not physically described), also reader is the embodiment of purity, 20240127 hwa (moodboard here), kinda slow burn kinda vibes, so much tensionnn, mentions of a pxrn magazine, sooo much teasing, hot make out sesh, dom!hwa, also very sly demon!hwa, virgin!reader, supernatural sex, corruption kink (obviously), masturbation (f), oral (f), the (un)holy trinity =teasing, begging, mind breaking), thigh riding, nipple play, clit play, some light impact play (kitty slaps + 1 face slap), breath play, hair pulling, fingering (f), monster cock!hwa, size training, pet names (angel, love, darling, sweetheart), praising, degradation (slut, whore), unprotected sex (don’t recommend), denied and ruined orgasm (f), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f), overstim, an ungodly amount of cum, cumflation, lil breeding kink at the very end

playlist — me and the devil by soap&skin, unholy by sam smith, going to hell by the pretty reckless, smells blood by kensuke ushio, american horror show by snow wife, toc toc toc by zazie

ateez masterlist | navigation

a/n: i had an absolute blast working over my fave fic ever posted. i love it even more now <3

also wanted to say a special thank you to @hwaightme who really helped me pulled through with one <3 ily bai <3333

Seonghwa was bored out of his mind. Like he had been for decades now, even centuries. He couldn’t remember what it was like to feel… well… anything at all really. And after years upon years of vegetating he didn’t care enough to even try anymore. He just laid there, endlessly staring blankly at the emptiness. He tapped his slender finger on his thigh, comfortably set on the bed of dark purple smoke he had materialized out of thin air.

He let out an audible annoyed groan as he was nonchalantly stretching out his long limbs which didn’t fail to catch the attention of the others.

“What’s wrong?” Yeosang asked as he was feasting on some delicious meal he poofed out magically. He didn’t even take a second to look up the bucket full of chicken drumsticks, wrapping his greasy fingers around the bone and eyeing the meat like one would their life long partner. But then again, that wasn’t too far from the truth for Yeosang.

“I’m bored” Seonghwa complained, pushing his long silky black hair back on his forehead and choosing to ignore Yeosang’s lack of interest, dragging out the word on his tongue, transmitting his state of utter apathy to the others.

“Why don’t you go up and play with the Humans?” Mingi suggested while checking himself out in the mirror, readjusting his bangs and sliding his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before striking a pose to himself, remaining completely self absorbed.

Once again, Seonghwa wasn’t getting much attention from his counterparts but he was somewhat used to it when it came to Mingi.

“What’s the point? They are no fun anyways!” Seonghwa sat up straight and crossed his long elegant legs on the cloud of cotton like smoke.

“Why?” Jongho asked, unlike the others he deigned looking in Seonghwa’s direction with somewhat surprised eyes. “You used to love going around and breaking up happy marriages, luring men and women in with your charms… That was always fun!” He said a little sluggishly, but still with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

“Yeah… Maybe it was…” Seonghwa replied. “Two millenniums ago…” Another prolonged sigh. “When everything still felt fresh.” He got up from the comfortable cloud of smoke, pacing the endless void as his heels clacked and echoed with each step.  “Now I know that Humans are only self centered vile creatures who only claim to have better morals than us because they are scared of the consequences that inevitably ensue from succumbing to their primal desires. When in fact, all they want is to eat, kill, have sex or not do anything at all. They are nothing short of underdeveloped, unevolved, spineless piles of meat” 

“Meat? Where?” Yeosang said, finally lifting his head from the bucket of fried chicken to look around, eyes rounded in panic.

Not a single one of them reacted except Mingi who side eyed him with disdain before returning to more important matters at hand such as swapping the aviator sunglasses for narrower, more rectangular ones.

“That’s not entirely false” Jongho concluded, shrugging, easily giving up on the idea of comforting Seonghwa.

“I mean where’s the fun if you can’t break their minds to give in?” Seonghwa placed both hands on Jongho's shoulders, slightly shaking him while the latter lifelessly swayed back and forth. “What is the point if they don’t resist the call of evil? If you can’t erode their will like a rock made smooth by the incessant beating of the waves of the cruel sea.” Seonghwa huffed in a quiet, defeated voice, letting go of Jongho's shoulders to let his arms hang at his side while the other one stared at him blankly.

“Hm… okay” Jongho said before slipping off Seonghwa's reach to take his place on the fluffy bed of purple smoke, crashing head first onto the soft cloud.

A silence settled for what seemed like a long moment, even for them, immutable creatures to whom the very concept of time couldn't grasp at their permanence.

“Well you never tried with that girl…” Wooyoung said, slithering his way to Seonghwa without a sound. He had been watching the scene unfold from afar up until then. “What was her name already?” He snapped his fingers and looked to the side trying to access his memory. He turned to Mingi for help but he was too busy looking through the mirror, slipping on yet another dangling necklace and smirking, satisfied at the results.  Wooyoung then tried his luck with Yeosang but he now had his face buried in a huge bowl of chicken broth, the empty bucket of fried chicken abandoned and slurping up a big mouthful of noodles in a rather unpleasant way. “Jongho?” he called, finally settling for the one that looked almost passed out on the bed of smoke, but still this one wielded the most positive result.

“Y/n” Jongho responded without conviction, still laying flat on the cloud of smoke, eyes growing heavier by the second.

“Yeah! That’s right!” Wooyoung exclaimed. “That girl is unbreakable,” he affirmed. Seonghwa scoffed and threw an unconvinced look to his peer.

“No really! I’ve tried to corrupt her but I really couldn’t”. Wooyoung said, raising his brows and talking loudly to support his point. But that did little to persuade Seonghwa, he was convinced that Wooyoung was just not as good as him at breaking the mortals’ souls. So yes, it was possible that Wooyoung had struggled with that girl. But not him, surely not him.

When Wooyoung saw Seonghwa was not budging his face dropped, and he turned to the others. “Please someone back me up on this one” 

“Oh yeaaah… I remember her” Yeosang said, voice cut by various sounds of loud lips smacking and open mouth chewing. “Even I tried!”

Now, that was different. Seonghwa was interested. Most people are quick to indulge themselves when it comes to food. It was, so to speak, the easiest sin of the seven to succumb to. The Humans often say “there’s always room for dessert” and innocently eat a generous slice of cake after devouring a full meal. They don’t even notice Yeosang forcing the big spoon full of buttery sugary goodness into their mouths. They don’t even know Yeosang, himself, made this saying. 

“She refused to even do as much as taste the delicious meal I made her sister cook for her even though she was starving… instead she gave it to the homeless man living not far from her apartment.” Yeosang stated with aberration shaking his head in disappointment before plunging right back in the ramyeon bowl.

“Hmmm” Seonghwa scratched his chin, his curiosity for the mysterious righteous girl was piqued.

“One day I tried to make her give in” Jongho chipped in from the dark purple smoke bed, even pushing himself on his elbows to look at the others, to Seonghwa’s surprise. “Made her miss the train and the bus she needed to take to get home after work and conveniently laid a juicy wallet stuffed full of even juicier bills in the gutter. All she had to do was to bend down and get the money to take a taxi to her apartment. But instead she took the money and walked to the police station to report the lost wallet, which was in the opposite direction by the way and then walked back home only to take a shower and leave right after to attend the charity soup kitchen. Anddd… Explaining this made me tired. Please don't talk to me for the next two hundred years, thank you.” Jongho concluded in one single breath before laying back down and turning on his side to nap comfortably.

“Maybe that one can be interesting after all” Seonghwa thought aloud, his pretty face taking on a pensive frown, his sharp brows joining on his forehead.

“Yeah no kidding” Wooyoung added. “And you don’t know the best part yet…” A perfidious and sly smile pulled on his handsome features. “She was just ordained nun.”

Seonghwa’s face turned serious as his eyes snapped back to Wooyoung. All of a sudden the girl went from distraction of the day to possibly the ultimate challenge of corruption Seonghwa has been waiting for god knows how long (and he surely did not use the expression lightly).

“Don’t mess with me, Envy!” Seonghwa spat, suddenly calling Wooyoung by his biblical name, testifying the gravity of his statement.

“I’m not kidding, Lust” Wooyoung mocked Seonghwa’s serious tone by also using his sin name. “She decided the life of material things wasn’t the way to happiness so she devoted herself to a humbler one, gifting her time and belongings to the poor and destitutes while she devoted her body to God. God only…” Wooyoung said, feigning nonchalance while he snaked an arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders. “Look… Here she is” he purred in his neck.

With a flick of his wrist, green smoke emanated from thin air and formed a pierced circle where in the middle the reflection of a girl could be seen. She was quiet, in the very humble room, a single window shone down onto the bed as she knelt at its side, palms joined, retreated into silent prayers.

She’s perfect.

That was Seonghwa’s first thought as an obscene smirk tugged at his mouth, his tongue swiping across his lips making them shiny and wet. He eyed the girl kneeling by the bed as he lowered his chin, one strand of hair falling over the piercing siren eyes. The black and white uniform she was wearing, the habit, couldn’t fool the seasoned eyes of Seonghwa. All the fabric in the world couldn’t hide away the glorious curves of her body, the beautiful arch of her back leading to the roundness of her bottom gently resting on her heels. The holy swells of her chest softly lifting the thick black material of the habit and the simple wooden cross held by humble twine she was wearing around her neck.

Divine.

Was what described her best.

“She’s stunning,” Seonghwa huffed in a soft murmur, mesmerized and captivated by the image Wooyoung was showing him. And he smirked in victory, relishing on the way he had convinced his peer, once again living up to his name and very nature.

“Yeah I know.” Mingi said, finally turning his face away from his reflection to address Seonghwa. “I thought with such a pretty face she’d be easy to convince that she’s above everyone else and just make her a pretentious too-far-up-her-own-ass bitch. But I quickly realized she was a lost cause” he concluded, shrugging and stepping away from the mirror, sitting down next to Jongho, already fast asleep only to materialize another handheld mirror. seconds later.

“Yes…” Seonghwa spoke softly as he stared intensely at the girl. “She just might do.”

***

You were on cleaning duty at the church today after the mass. Even if the church was quite big it didn’t intimidate you. You settled the two buckets of warm soapy water and your floor cloth before tying your hair up in a rather unaesthetic but very practical hairdo and stretched your shoulders before giving yourself a determined little nod.

You started with scrubbing the ancient cobblestone of the old church with soap and a lot of elbow grease. Then you immediately followed up with dusting the chairs, the altar and the numerous effigies. 

You diligently washed, dusted, scrubbed, cleaned, polished, until everything was neat and right. Simply happy and content with the idea of being useful to the community. The rhythmic sounds of your hard bristle brush against the pavements were setting the pace of the silence which helped you connect to the spiritual nature of the ancient place of worship.

But as you were tidying the confessional booth you noticed a small piece of colorful paper peeking from underneath the bench lined with worn burgundy red velvet. When your hands reached under the seat and hazardly caught the object you knew it was a magazine from the glossy feeling of the paper underneath your fingertips and when you finally let your eyes fall on it you realized the nature of the magazine.

Porn. A pornographic magazine.

The cover displayed several nude women adopting very suggestive poses, one of them even dangerously leaning her face towards the intimate parts of another one.

The obscene imagery made your heart race and you started to feel dizzy. You sat yourself on the bench and rested the lewd magazine in your lap. You took a deep breath and, very slowly, parted the red curtains to make sure you were alone in the church. Then you opened the magazine and flipped the cover page.

“Oh my… Look at that! She is flipping the pages!” Yeosang exclaimed.

“Oh she’s definitely curious about it,” Mingi laughed, his lips stretching into a satisfied half smile. But Seonghwa was more cautious, he refused to believe it just yet. Something about your body language was not right.

“Shhh” he shushed the others and motioned for them to keep looking through the green smoke.

As your fingers glided across each page. You felt hot in the face with each scene more obscene than the last one, tension building in your neck. 

Seonghwa didn’t lose sight of you for a second, his lips curling on his teeth in a vicious smile as your trembling fingers went over every single page, your wide open eyes darting to every corner of each page. He could almost hear your heart thumping in your chest he could almost taste the adrenaline in your blood.

When you came to the end of it and closed out the magazine you sighed, letting your shoulders drop, closing your eyes in relief.

“Well…” you started “nobody left their name in it” you said to yourself, completely unaware the demons were spying on your every move. Not that you expected that anybody would leave their signature in such a piece of literature but still you had to at least try to find the rightful owner before taking actions.

A loud complaint erupted from the demons. All in disbelief. You looked at the magazine, true. But it was not for an impure purpose. It was only in the hopes of finding the name of the true owner and hopefully, returning it back to them. You had no interest in the salacious scenes presented in the glossy pages. The rushing blood to your cheeks wasn’t due to any feeling of arousal or libidinousness. It was only the shame of invading someone’s privacy.

Once again your intentions were completely commendable. Immaculate.

As the demons protested and complained, Seonghwa, on the other hand, stayed completely silent as he watched you bring the magazine to a trash bin without an ounce of regret. He wasn’t disappointed, he was excited. He felt excitement. A feeling so distant and faded that it felt foreign. Seonghwa had forgotten all about this thrill. He didn’t remember how tingles tickled the tip of his cold fingers or how his guts swirled around in frenzy. This feeling was joy. Pure joy. Sweet intoxicating euphoria. And it was all thanks to you.

“I’m gonna have so much fun with you” he whispered to you, as if you could hear him, his eyes glued to the reflection in the pierced circle of deep green smoke, he whispered to the image of the unsuspecting girl discarding the impure magazine. A paltry, too poor of a stratagem to have you yield to the darkness. You, the pious and saintly nun.

***

You never really liked cooking, before you joined the covenant your sister was always the one in the kitchen preparing delicious home cooked meals for the family. But what you did like on the other hand was helping. Usually you cleaned up the kitchen but when your sister was running out of time she would ask you to peel the vegetables or cut them. So naturally cutting the vegetables was not your favorite task around the convent. You liked cleaning and tidying up better. Only because you were more on the active side and you liked how cleaning would make you break up a sweat when the whole monastery needed a dust off but nonetheless what you liked most was to help the community. And knowing the soup you were cooking up with the help of two of your sisters was going to feed everyone was a fulfilling feeling. Well enough to make you happy.

So you were contemplating life cutting off the homegrown zucchinis when Sister Chaeyoung started to giggle. You didn’t pay much attention until Sister Nayeon started to snicker along with her.

You lift your eyes up and the both of them instantly stiffened up and started to act suspicious.

“What are you laughing about you two?” you asked, an amused smile playing on your lips.

“Oh nothing” Nayeon said, hiding something behind her back.

“Come on, I want to laugh too” you said, the smile spreading further on your face, lifting up your cheeks adorably.

You three were the youngest in the convent so you did many duties together, you grew quite close with the girls.

Chaeyoung ripped something from Nayeon’s hand and proudly showed it to you.

“Look at this carrot” she said, puffing an adorable laugh.

It was true the carrot had quite the… interesting shape. First of all it was quite large, abnormally thick for a simple carrot. Homegrown vegetables were never like the perfectly shaped ones you could find at the store and it was definitely the case for this one. It had a slight upward curve and the extremity had a very distinctive shape. It was phallic.

You delicately took the vegetable from the hands of Chaeyoung to examine the orange root closely.

It was almost unnatural how close the resemblance was, like it couldn’t be due to fortuity… The thick tip, the robust and curved upright shaft, the asperities reminiscent of the blood engorged veins, even the small slit at the top… The details were impressive.

“Look look” Mingi exclaimed, nudging Seonghwa in the ribs as he observed you through the green fog. “She looks interested. I think she’s done this time”. He declared self-assured, cocking a single eyebrow. But Seonghwa remained completely silent but a smirk pulled on his lips when he noticed how you were eyeing the forbidden vegetable (no pun intended), how your throat seemed to thickly swallow and how your lip slightly trembled.

It felt so empowering, finally getting to chip away at your strong willed spirit, finally getting lust to creep under your skin. For these long seconds of contemplation, Seonghwa could only imagine the wicked places your mind raced to. But right when he was about to open his mouth and declare victory. You laughed.

Seonghwa’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as this laugh ripped through him, like a dagger through the skin.

You laughed so openly, your head hung back, eyes creased. The laugh was like the rest of you, joyful, clear and pure.

You are only amused by such a coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course it was funny and you were never the stuck up kind and it felt right to have a bit of lighthearted fun with your younger sisters.

“I guess she’s only laughing at your stupid tricks,” Wooyoung said, his sly smirk mocking Seonghwa’s failure.

“Fuck off Wooyoung” Seonghwa spat as he watched the scene unfold.

The three of you just laughed, enjoying this bonding moment together while the stricter, older sisters and the Mother Superior weren’t there to dim down your childish and silly amusement. It was just some playful, innocent humor to you.

Nothing to shake your faith or virtue.

“Now let’s finish up the soup, girls” you said, setting the amusing carrot on the cutting board. Before chopping it up and tossing the pieces in the big pot.

“Maybe we should have kept it” Chaeyoung whispered with pouty lips. “It could have been useful.”

“Don’t be silly,” you replied with a smile.

Seonghwa felt anger bubbling up in his stomach and rushing through his veins to burn down his chest and neck. As much as he hated to admit it… Wooyoung was right, these stupid tricks were no match for the unwavering righteousness of your mind. These would certainly suffice if it was any other soul but not yours. Not you.

So Seonghwa resolved to resort to drastic measures. Something he hasn’t done for centuries. But something necessary. This anger he felt, the deception upon failing once again. He hadn’t felt that in so long, he felt alive finally. It was ironic how an immortal soul would forget how to feel alive for the simple reason that nothing is a threat to their existence. Their presence is immutable, infinite, certain. Therefore unexciting, monotonous and lifeless.

The negative feelings reminded Seonghwa of a purpose he once had, they reminded him of the stakes that used to be. In a way you reminded Seonghwa what it felt like to feel. You reminded him what it meant to be alive. Him, the unholy and vile Sin of Lust.

***

“You cannot be serious,” Hongjoong exclaimed, rubbing the deep crease between his eyebrows, this conversation was starting to give the Guardian of the Gate a headache.

“I am most certainly serious,” Seonghwa assured. “Now is the best time.”

“Why?” Hongjoong asked. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you through unless you give me a solid explanation.”

“Come on Joongie~” Seonghwa said innocently smiling at him leaning on the smaller man in front of him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tilting his head adorably. “You and I go way back, right?” 

“Your ways have no power against me, Lust. You know that.” Hongjoong just looked at him scornfully. “Now if you don’t tell me your plan I’ll shut the gates for the next century.”

“What has this place come to? We used to be able to go and play with humans all day and not get questioned,'' Seonghwa complained, throwing his hands in the air and slipping away from Hongjoong. But the latter didn’t budge. “Fine” Seonghwa spat.

“You see my dear friend, today she’s ovulating. Her body is most likely to respond to the primitive instinct of the survival of the species. Meaning that her spirit is most likely to be weaker.” Seonghwa explained his reasoning. 

“But how do you plan on actually interacting with her? You know you won’t be able to have physical contact, you'll go through her like a ghost. Unless she summons you. And I don’t see how or even why she would call your name three times” Wooyoung pointed out, as he was watching the feud from afar.

“I know that I’m not stupid” Seonghwa said with an eyeroll and a sigh. “I won’t need to touch her to break her” he assured.

“But how if she can’t even see you?” Hongjoong yelled, ready to pluck the hair out of his head. Seonghwa was about to become the Guardian's breaking point.

“Hey relax, okay” Seonghwa said, slipping behind the man and gently pinching the muscles of his shoulders. “You are starting to look like San.”

“What did you say about me? “ San yelled from across the empty space, interrupting his card game with Yunho. 

“Just play” Yunho instructed with a monotonous fed up tone, pointing his chin towards the deck of cards.

“This game is stupid anyways!!” San screamed before flipping the table over in a loud grunt as the cards flew everywhere, floating gracefully to the ground. Yunho sighed deeply.

“He always does this…” he whispered to himself, getting off the chair and walking to Hongjoong and Seonghwa as Jongho was peacefully snoring close by.

“How can he sleep through this?” Yeosang looked at Jongho in disbelief, as he was stuffing more cheesecake into his mouth. Yunho scoffed.

“How can you eat through this?” Yunho underlined and Yeosang just shrugged before smiling with his mouth still full, earning disgusted grunts and complaints from the others. 

“Can we focus for one minute here?” Hongjoong interrupted, desperately trying to get back on track. “How are you going to corrupt her if she can’t see you?”

“Oh but she will see me” Seonghwa smirked.

“Not in the monastery she won’t, not on sacred ground” Wooyoung mocked his overly confident tone.

“It’s true, you know” Yunho chipped in, putting his large palm on Seonghwa’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m about to say that but… I think you’re being greedy” Yunho concluded, as Seonghwa whipped his head to him.

“Wow… That’s so out of character for you.”

“Well that should speak volumes about the foolishness of your plan” Yunho shrugged, taking his hand back.

“It’s not foolish because she will see me. For the simple reason that she will invite me in” Seonghwa’s smirk grew wider as silence settled in the unholy space between hell and earth. Wooyoung laughed hysterically, holding his ribs as he wiped off a tear in the corner of his eyes.

“And how will you manage that?” Hongjoong asked with a raised, unimpressed eyebrow.

Just then a chiming sound could be heard in the emptiness. Seonghwa fished out of his pocket a small human device. All in the room looked incredulous As Seonghwa smirked at the small screen illuminating his pretty face.

“Since when did you-” Hongjoong started but Seonghwa simply brought his long pointer finger to his lips and shushed him.

“She’s waiting for me”

***

“A disaster” Mother superior exclaimed as she threw her arms at her side, looking at the flooded basement. “We cannot go to the retreat and leave until the problem is fixed. The humidity can damage the foundations of the monastery. “I’ll stay and sort it out.”

The sisters all let out frustrated sighs.

“You should go Mother” you stepped in. “The sisters need you at the retreat as well as the faithful… I’ll stay and get things in order. You can count on me” you said with a determined nod and a smile, tightly holding the wooden cross on your chest.

As much as you wanted to go. Someone needed to stay, that much was undeniable and the wisdom of the Mother Superior was needed at Lourdes. So it wasn’t without a little sting at the heart that you waved goodbye to a bus full of your friends, your sisters.

You went back in and sighed at the mess. The ancient timber beams were slowly soaking up the stagnant water, the old stones of the walls were being eroded and the humidity was not good news for the cheeses you were maturing, not even mentioning the ruined mushrooms you were about to harvest before the disaster. Of course the boiler was old and rustic but Mother Superior always made sure it was checked annually and repaired when it was needed before any damage could be done. But even the most diligent measures sometimes can’t prevent the unforeseeable hazards of life.

You went back up and searched for a plumber in the local newspaper. Luckily there was an ad for one that was living in town.

Park, plumbing/heating engineering at your service, the flashy ad read.

You looked at the time, it was late afternoon, probably a little too late to take up a new job, but you figured there was still hope he could at least pick up the phone and maybe appoint a day to come have a look at the leakage. You didn’t waste anymore time and dialed the phone number in the ancient and only phone located in the Mother Superior’s office.

As the tone rang you suddenly got nervous. Ever since you joined the convent you didn’t interact much with the outside world except the followers coming to church or the people you were helping. So this upcoming conversation was making you agitated.

“Hello, Park, plumbing and heating engineer, how can I help you?” You are surprised by the voice at the end of the line. You never expected such a smooth, melodic voice to pick up the phone.

“H-Hi! I’m Sister y/n from the Monastery of the Sacred Mission, our basement flooded, we think the boiler possibly needs to be replaced. Is it possible for you to come take a look?”

“Oh! Sorry to hear that. I’m guessing much damage has been done…” his concerned tone somewhat eased your nerves.

“Unfortunately yes”

“I see… I can come right now”

“Really?” you blinked your eyes twice in surprise. “Well that would be marvelous” you said cheerfully “but wouldn’t you be working past hours? I fear there’s quite a lot of work” you ask concerned.

“It’s okay. You help others so much. Now it’s my time to help you” his tone changed, a subtle switch you can’t put into words but the difference sent a shiver down your spine.

“Thank you”

***

“Thank you so much for coming this quickly” you thanked the man as he stood in the impressive frame of the heavy convent door.

You took a step aside to let him in but he just stood before the front steps not moving an inch. You threw him a puzzled look but he just stared back blankly at you. There was a moment of hesitation on his behalf that left you quite perplexed.

“Please come in” you hesitantly said while amicably smiling at the man.

“Thank you” he simply responded, almost sounding relieved.

As soon as he stepped foot in the door frame you felt a cold breeze run on your neck under the habit and shivers run down your spine. Autumn was indeed well advanced now but such cold winds were usually never felt before winter. Of course, you made little of a simple gust of wind.

“Hi. I’m Sister y/n. Nice to meet you” you stuck your hand out to him. He looked down at it and fumbled with the tool boxes but opted for a polite nod instead of a handshake.

“Sorry, I’ve been working all day and my hands are dirty” he laughed nervously “and the name is Seonghwa” he flashed the brightest smile you have ever seen. For a second your heart skipped a beat and a foreign feeling blossomed in your chest. You never expected this unknown plumber to be this handsome.

He had long and shiny raven black hair perfectly framing his face and just as healthy thick eyebrows complimenting the dark, round and benevolent eyes, reminiscent of boba pearls. A long elegant neck, a defined jawline, high cheekbones and tanned olive glossy skin.

His body was cladded in an unbuttoned navy blue overall that let peek out a simple white t-shirt underneath. You could tell the outfit had undergone various difficult jobs as the fabric was thinned out at his knees and had various stains of paints and plaster.

He looked like a kind man. Like the kind of person you would give communion to without confession. The kind of person that just has a good heart. It was that kind of reassuring and warm aura that you felt from him, something that put you at ease right away.

You led him to the faulty boiler.

Right away he got on one knee and started to inspect the recalcitrant piece of machinery.

“Well I’ll leave you to work on your own” you said as you retreated to take your leave. Seonghwa only politely nodded and smiled in your direction before turning his attention back to the problem.

While the plumber was working you put your time to good use and organized the paperwork of the Mother superior. Doing such work was always tedious for her because she wasn’t exactly the organized kind of woman but you were. You knew doing that you would be of great help. Since the task was quite large, it took quite a long time and it’s only when your stomach emitted a loud grumble that you realized the evening was well advanced.

You figured Mr. Park was hungry or at the very least thirsty after working for so long. So you grabbed a metal tray and brought him a set of the specialty sugar cookies the convent was selling along with a generous serving of cold water embellished with a dash of freshly squeezed lemon juice to make sure Mr. Park’s thirst would be thoroughly quenched.

When you passed the archway that was leading to the boiler room your heart nearly stopped beating when your eyes met the working man.

Swiftly you spinned on your feet and hid behind the wall, only peeking an eye out the corner to still be able to witness the novel scene taking place in front of you.

Seonghwa had tightened the sleeves of his blue overalls around his waist and was wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, clearly the labor was not restful. You couldn’t tell if it was from sweat or from the leaking water but his white t-shirt was wet and sticking to his skin, making the fabric lightly translucid. You could guess the dark pinkish color of his nipples and the outline of his well built body underneath. The short sleeves of his t-shirt were rolled up and were tightly hugging his arms while his long fingers were wrapped around a wrench as each twist of his wrist was making the veins of his forearm bulge out.

You loudly gulped down a lump in your throat. Your hands tightly held onto the tray in fear of letting it fall to your feet.

But your misery was far from over because before you could realize it Seonghwa was pulling on his shirt and passing it over his head. Every muscle of his back moving around, contracting and relaxing in a beautiful dance, shining under the golden hour sun seeping through the small single window of the basement. Water and sweat was running down his back and at his flanks, when he turned around, your eyes dashed around his naked upper body. You couldn’t decide where to settle them. His collarbones, his pecs, his abs, the dent at the sides of his abdomen, his (very) low resting overalls…

Your heart was about to give out. You had seen male bodies before, never in real life that was true but you did once or twice on TV or on billboard ads of men’s underwear.

But, never, you felt something like that. That feeling. This tingly feeling budding in the low pit of your stomach, making your guts stir around, making your palms sweaty, making your heart helplessly hammer against your ribs, making your eyes widen as you couldn’t peel them off the naked wet skin of the handsome stranger. This feeling of immoral interest for another person’s body, this longing for somebody else’s touch.

This feeling of Lust.

It was completely foreign to you.

If it wasn’t for Seonghwa you would have chugged the whole carafe of lemony water by yourself because you never felt your throat as dry as it felt right now.

“Look! Look!” San shouted, wrapping a strong hand around Wooyoung’s forearm and making him wince in pain as they both stared at you through the green smoke. “Y/n is giving in!”

“Look at the way she’s staring at him!” Yeosang said, briefly reaching for a napkin to wipe his mouth.

“Wow” Yunho added “She definitely isn’t thinking about church-appropriate things”. Yunho laughed but Mingi scoffed.

“If she likes him, wait till I show my human form. I’m infinitely more good looking than him”

“Not everything’s about you, Mingi” Yunho scolded him.

With trembling hands you settled the metal tray onto the window sill. You poured a glass of water and presented it to Seonghwa.

“Here” you unexpectedly manage to keep your voice calm and steady. “I figured you might be thirsty or hungry.”

“Oh thanks” he said, wrapping his hand around the glass, carefully avoiding touching your hand in the process, probably trying not to get sweat and dirt smeared on you. “I just got done actually”

“Oh wonderful” you exclaimed, maybe a little louder than expected. Maybe eager to get rid of that immoral feeling that was awakened by his presence. Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow and gave you a puzzled look at the unexpected outburst of joy.

“Why? Are you impatient to throw me out?” he smirked, pushing his long and soaked hair back as he took a step closer, doe eyes narrowing, becoming sharp. You did your best to lock your eyes with his, not to let them wander down his still half naked body. Seonghwa didn’t make any effort to cover himself. Your heart seemed to be trying to break through your rib cage to get a chance to beat closer to Seonghwa’s chest.

“No, it’s just that…” you took a step back “you have been working for so long you must be wanting to go back to the comfort of your home” you quickly get back on your feet before smiling politely at him, trying to conceal your uneasiness.

“Why?” he asked tit for tat, taking a step closer again, siren eyes bored deep into yours, trying to lull you in. “No one is waiting for me at home.”

Seonghwa heard the faintest little gasp escape your lips and he knew you were shaken. You, the unwavering nun, the faithful saint. You were at last considering him. Contemplating giving in to the primal and lowly instinct of desire.

Seonghwa sensed it. He saw it in the way you hurriedly licked your dry bottom lip, he saw it in the way your eyes darted between his lips and his eyes, he saw it in the way you stopped backing away from him.

You, y/n, you were giving in to pure sensual need. No love, no sentiment involved. Only desire to feel a complete stranger’s body against yours, only pure, untainted lust.

If only he could touch you. If only he could, it would be so much easier to help you gently fall into the welcoming and serene arms of corruption. But he couldn’t and that was making the whole experiment that much more exciting. He had to use deceit and trickery. Like a siren numbing your mind with a beautiful song.

But if you gave the slightest hint of submitting, if you let your guard down and let him into your heart then he would have won and that was all that mattered. If you tilted your head and you puckered up your lips to kiss him, if you took a step towards him to press your body against his, if your lifted your hand to feel his wet, glistening skin under your fingers, if you did anything to welcome the unholy desire, if you opened yourself to lust, then touching you would have been unnecessary because Seonghwa would have won and you and God would have lost.

And victory was oh so close. So close when he was as near to you as he could. So close when he slowly approached his face to yours. So close when your heart was pumping scorching hot blood through your veins, so close when your mouth started to water, so close when your lips started to quiver, so close when your eyelid started to flutter but…

Again, you stepped back.

“WHAT?!” San shouted.

“No way!!” Yeosang added, staring at your unsuspecting reflection in the green smoke.

Seonghwa’s shoulder dropped along with the satisfied little smirk.

“Thank you for fixing the boiler this quickly, Mr Park” you said, averting your eyes, finally breaking the spell he had casted on you and peeling your eyes off him.

Seonghwa had cried victory too soon. He had counted the chicken eggs before they hatched, he had put the cart before the horse. In other words… he had underestimated you.

He underestimated your will, your faith and your unwavering sense of righteousness. The other Sins had warned him though but he didn’t listen. They told him it was impossible to bend you. All of them had tried before and none succeeded so it was undeniable now that Seonghwa was just going to join them in failure.

“Don’t worry about it” he smiled at you, disappointment peeking behind his shiny brown orbs.

Seonghwa had accepted defeat when you led him back to the door of the convent. He walked away but turned around half way only to see your still body standing straight in the doorframe, perfectly incarnating your strong, unbending mind.

You only politely smiled when you pushed the big heavy door with difficulty, finally closing it in with a loud thud.

“Fuck… I guess Seonghwa failed too…” Yunho stated as he watched you close the door. But Wooyoung looked at you with a knowing grin.

“I’m not so sure…” he said as the smirk tugged further at his lips.

***

When you finally escaped Seonghwa’s taunting eyes, you leaned your back on the sturdy door, your spirit drained, your mind exhausted. You closed your eyes to catch a breath but the only thing you could see was the working man’s godlike figure carved onto your retinas, the translucent white t-shirt clinging to his golden skin, the sweat dripping down his temples and wetting the beautiful long strands of black hair, the bulging veins of his forearms and the dents engraved at both side of his lower stomach. And the more you thought about it, the quicker your breathing got.

You were all alone here… Your sisters and Mother superior were all gone. What wrong could it cause if you gave in just this once? Not that much, right?…. Just this once.

With big strides you walked to the kitchen and handpicked a nicely shaped carrot, almost regretting not listening to Chaeyoung and keeping that other one.

But this one was going to do the trick. It was not too thick and just long enough to help you carry out your shameful business but not too big to actually taint you and strip you of the precious veil of chastity that you managed to keep intact all of these years.

You climbed up the stairs with haste, avoiding the marble eyes of the holy figures represented in the halls only to take refuge in your bedroom.

You slipped out of your shoes and laid on your bed. You didn’t even bother taking the habit off, it wasn’t going to take long anyway, you simply pulled it up.

When you slid off the white panties you realized how soaked you were. You couldn’t believe it. Your whole life you’ve never felt this way, the feeling was overwhelming and needed to be dealt with immediately. Yes, that was what you were doing simply ridding yourself of an impure feeling! 

You whipped out the orange root and clumsily rubbed the thinner tip on yourself. The cold sensation took you aback and pulled a small gasp from your lips.

You coated the root with your juices and then you aimed it at your entrance. You slid the carrot inside, it was too thin to hurt in any way but it was well long enough. When you reached the bottom of yourself you couldn’t help but to let out a satisfied grunt at the sensation of the vegetable rubbing against your sensitive spot.

You pulled it back out and slid it back in, this time a little faster. Heat gained over your body as your eyes fluttered close and you recalled the unfairly handsome and devilishly sexy working man.

The muscles of his back, his long slender neck, his collarbones, his beautiful sun kissed skin.

“Aaah” you sigh. “Seonghwa” his name rolled off your tongue so naturally, almost like it was meant to be said like this.

His long and dark wet hair, his plush lips getting close to yours, his warm breath fanning your face.

“Seonghwa” you moaned again, more high pitched this time as your wrist was getting more and more reckless, each time deliciously scrubbing your walls in divine and forbidden pleasure.

The way he looked at you, the way his dark eyes were filled with the same desire you had for him. The way they spoke volumes about the sinful things he wanted to do to you. And God… did you almost let him have his way with you.

You started to clench around the root, each time you pulled it out your walls were eagerly gripping on it, refusing to let it go, so you smashed it back in with force to grant their wish. Your walls quivered around the vegetable, a foreign and unknown euphoria was taking over you and you knew you were done for.

“I’m… ngh… c-cumming” you whispered to yourself as you felt the tightness in your core reach a brand new level. “Seonghwa” you cried out one more time, being only a few back-and-forths away from your sweet release but alas you couldn’t pull it through.

Because without knowing, without realizing, completely unsuspecting, you called his name. You called his name three times. You summoned him.

Purple smoke started to erupt from the corner of the small dimly lit room by the late evening sun. With terror you ripped the vegetable out before you could finish and covered your modesty with the habit you were still wearing.

From the smoke appeared slick black leather chelsea boots resting under a pair of anthracite gray dress pants coated with a shiny silverish finish. As the smoke got thinner you could distinguish a matching cropped blazer with an asymmetrical and deconstructed silver vest underneath that was held together by one single button right under his neck, you could see the soft and glistening golden skin underneath. And finally when the smoke was completely gone you saw his face. The sharp features and the slender slithering body reminiscent of the one of a serpent, eyes just as sharp and presence just as menacing. A face you hadn't known for long but couldn't forget. Seonghwa’s face.

But he looked different. His long bangs weren’t framing his face anymore, instead he had tied the long wavy strands in a high half bun. His aura was also different from when he was wearing the blue and spotted overalls. Now cladded in the revealing ensemble he looked expensive, confident and sensual.

Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when your mind finally wrapped around the information your eyes were transmitting.

“Well well…” Seonghwa stepped closer while you jolted yourself up the bed, your body cornered between the headboard and the wall.

“What are you?” you whispered with trembling lips, heart pounding, adrenaline rushing through your veins, ready to flee if need be.

Seonghwa looked at you, puzzled for a second. Then he laughed, head tilting back. The laugh made the hair in your nape stand. It was unnatural, cold and fundamentally evil.

“Me?” he asked. Right then you felt your body being magically lifted from the soft mattress. You shrieked again, utterly confused while Seonghwa’s magic slammed you against the bare walls of the humble bedroom, the tip of your toes barely scraping the worn out wooden floor.

“Oh my, please pardon my awful manners,” he said in an overly polite tone. “I’m Seonghwa, Cardinal Sin of Lust” he said, bowing respectfully, elegantly bringing his right hand on his chest in a princely manner. “But for you, love…” Seonghwa stepped towards you, taking his time to look at you. He leaned on your ear to whisper.

“I’m a dream come true” his voice was deep, sultry, self-assured. Everything you’d imagine it to be.

A faint gasp escaped your lips as you felt his warm breath on your neck.

You wanted to scream to all heavens, you had brought a demon into the convent. You had desecrated the sacred ground of this place of worship, your home. You led the wolf to the sheeps. But you couldn’t scream, you couldn’t even if your life depended on it. 

“W-what do you want?” you managed to push the few words past your teeth. Your voice, perfect opposite of the one of the demon: muted and trembling.

“Just want to finish my business with you” his face stayed right where it was, nestled in the crook of your neck. Lips so close you could feel the heat radiating from them but somehow they were still too far, unable to touch you.

“What business?” you whimpered.

“Darling.” Seonghwa clicked his tongue and shook his head in disapproval. “There’s no point in fighting anymore. Stop playing dumb with me. I know you’re a smart girl.” He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo. “I already won, darling… that very second you decided to give in to the thought of me. That second you closed the big heavy door and thought you escaped my eyes. That very second I had won.” A wicked smirk pulled on his lips. But his words didn’t make any sense to you.

This languish was torture, this state of expectation, of suspense. This proximity. You wished it would just stop. Be it touching you for good or get away finally. Just as if he read your mind he got even closer. Now it wasn’t only his lips taunting the thin skin of your neck, it was his whole body, hovering over yours; but still… Not touching you.

“Sure winning felt good. But you know what feels even better, darling?” You couldn’t bring yourself to formulate words and only whimpered in response.

“I asked you a question, sweetheart” he grinned, relishing on your anguish, placing both of his palms at both sides of your face, trapping your frail figure between his arms and the wall.

“It’s to finally touch you.”

So he finally let himself take a deep dive into you. The plush warm lips crash onto your neck, giving wet sloppy open mouth kisses while you couldn’t help but to tilt your head back giving him more access.

“What a good girl you are” he purred, not taking the time to part his lips from you.

His left hand went to your chin and turned it to make you face him, without much hesitation he planted a wet kiss on your lips, your cute whimpers and gasps were the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss.

The kiss got heated as Seonghwa pried your hesitant mouth open with his long thumb and pushed his tongue inside to breach your lips. His delicious taste spread through your mouth, making your head dizzy. He tasted like candy, like you just took a bite of the juiciest strawberry. Ripe, just in season, absolutely delicious.

You moaned into his mouth and he smirked as his grip around your chin got tighter, he lifted his knee to part your legs and his thigh rubbed against your center through the habit. You couldn’t help but to moan louder, the unsolicited pleasurable friction made you incapable of reciprocating the kiss, your dangling feet nervously giving small kicks in the air.

Seonghwa finally parted from you, allowing you to catch your breath. But he was far from done with you.

“I know you long for more than this, angel” he whistled while his hand went up your thigh, still clothed with the thick black fabric of the habit. “I know you languish for pleasure” his blunt nails went up your arm and you realized you were still holding onto the carrot. He ripped the root from your hand.

“You won’t need this anymore” he said before smashing the poor vegetable on the ground sending millions of orange pieces flying across the room, you flinched once more at the demonstration of strength.

“Mine is much bigger than this. But don’t worry, love, I’ll make you nice and ready for me” he purred before placing both of his strong hands on the habit and just like that with astonishing ease he rips through the black gown. But not only, everything covering you is ripped in two and that also goes for your bra that fell to the ground. With the deafening sound of the fabric ripping you found yourself completely naked in front of the demon apart from the veil on your hair and the rosary beads laying on your chest.

You flinched and your hands flew to cover your nude frame but Seonghwa once again laughed and you felt an irresistible magical force pin your wrists at each side of your face. You sniveled and squirmed trying your hardest to go against the invisible force to hide away from the avid eyes of the demon.

“How cute.” The demon snickered when you failed to fight back. “Sweetheart, you don’t get to hide anything when you look this good” he said in a breath, eyes darting over your naked figure. From your dangling feet, to your thighs tightly pressed together, to your flushed face and to the Rosary beads sitting between your gorgeous breasts, swaying every time you kept trying to break away from the spell pinning you against the wall.

He brought a cold hand to the side of your breast, you couldn’t help but to moan as you felt his soft hand against you, his finger suddenly pinching your sensitive and hardened nipples. You let out a high pitched whimper.

“So sensitive” Seonghwa mocked you before he flicked the sensitive bud. Then he lifted his hand to harshly slap against the innocent lump of flesh, you jumped in surprise at the sensation. The surprise didn’t lie in the sudden surge of pain but rather from the enjoyment you got out of it, the sting sending electricity down your spine to light up your core.

With another faint movement of the head Seonghwa made you open your legs widely. You whimpered and felt tears build up in the corners of your eyes when he finally laid eyes on your most private part. And you realized with dread how wet you were. Soaked. Juices streaming down to your inner thighs making them glisten under his persistent gaze.

“Fuck, sweetheart” he exhaled out one heavy breath. “You got this fucking wet for me?” he said as he crouched down, inching his face dangerously close to your exposed center.

Embarrassment and shame reached an unbearable level, tears finally spilled out of your eyes, wetting your cheeks as you squirmed, trying your best to escape Seonghwa’s spell.

“So here’s the little hole I’m going to split in two” he said as his breath brushed over your wet folds.

You squirmed even harder, somehow feeling Seonghwa’s spell loosen around your wrists and ankles. But when he aimed his pointer finger right on your swollen bundle of nerves, earning a loud scream from you, the sudden pleasure from the perfect amount of pressure he applied on you made you completely immobile. Torn between the need for more of the foreign forbidden joy but also the fear and shame of letting the demon have his way with you, tainting you, taking away your most precious possession: your purity.

“What? Are you not fighting me off anymore?” He started to draw small circles on your bud. Your wetness made it easy for his finger to glide across the small and stiff nub. You moaned a little louder and he started going faster.

“Does it feel good, angel?” his voice went down an octave as pleasure got to your head, making the room spin, luckily you don’t have to stand on your legs.

Seonghwa went even faster when you didn’t reply.

“I said, does it feel good?” his tone was as harsh as his restless teasing of your clit. Hellish circles sending blazing heat to your whole body as you felt the pleasure rising in the deepest part of your core, your walls quivering on themselves.

But Seonghwa slowed down at the worst moment, a wicked smirk pulling on his plump lips, narrowing his piercing siren eyes.

“Good little sluts should answer when asked a question.” His pace was now just fast enough to keep you at your limit, each spasm of your core, testifying of the agonizing muted pleasure he was inflicting on you.

“Answer!” he ordered while he delightfully pressed on your painfully sensitive bundle of nerves.

“YES!! Yes it feels good” you blurted out, panting, sweat pearling between your breasts, giving in to the pressure.

“Good girl” he praised as he finally lifted his hand from your sensitive parts. You sighed in both relief of finally being let off the hook but also in frustration at the displeasing feeling of his denial.

But before you could celebrate or pester he pushed that very same finger inside you. You didn’t know by what ungodly miracle he managed to aim straight at your sensitive spot, but he did, applying divine pressure deep inside you. Your eyes instantly rolled to the back of your head as you felt the will of fighting off slipping through your fingers.

Seonghwa chuckled at your reaction, he was enjoying himself very much. After centuries of boredom he intended to savor every second of your agony.

“Darling, you really are hungry for my fingers, aren’t you? Your slutty little cunt is gripping so tightly” he chuckled again while he pulled his finger back. You hated how right he was. You hated how you felt your walls clench around him, how you felt your own body crave for more of him as soon as his finger slipped out.

But the yearning didn’t last long because he pushed past your entrance again, this time fitting two fingers inside you, taking the time to gently stretch you until his blunt nails reached as deeply as they could.

You let out a moan through gritted teeth, the pleasure making beads of sweat pearl at the sides of your face.

“Fuck! Your virgin little pussy just loves to be stretched out like this, doesn’t it?” He leaned even closer to your sopping center.

Tears continued to run down your cheeks as pleasure rose again. Seonghwa picked up the pace, stretching your walls so deliciously, pumping his two fingers in and out of you, each time he pulled out he ripped a moan out of you. Again, you started to twitch around his fingers and he smirked down on you. Pleasure continuously grew as you made this silent prayer that he would finally take you over the edge, over the barrier of this beautiful and forbidden land that you stayed away from all these years.

But again he slowed down and came to a stop. This time tears of pure frustration ran down your cheeks as you pathetically bucked your hips up trying to fight against Seonghwa’s spell pinning you down the wall.

“Aww.” He cooed in a mocking tone. “Darling, I’m sorry… were you about to cum?” He said while you shot him a death glare. He chuckled at your reddened cheeks and your frowned brows.

His finger swiped across your fold, pressing on the lonely bud once and you instantly dropped the angered look, your eyes drooped at the sensation and you couldn’t help but to grind against him, your womanliness made so eager by his touches.

“Fuck, look at you” he slipped one finger back inside, pumping it very slowly in and out. You bit down on your lip. “Acting so fucking distant only a few minutes ago…” he added a second one as you moaned out in bliss. “When in fact you were craving this… craving me…” he fitted a third one inside your already crowded heat as your moans now mixed with confused sobs. The intense feeling of pain and pleasure blending into a dangerous cocktail.

“Fuckkk” you cursed out, allowing yourself another sin you managed to avoid up until now, which has the demon showing more teeth.

“What a good little slut taking all of my fingers so good” he said as he took his time thoroughly stretching you out, his blunt nails pushing against your sensitive spot, while his face was closing in the distance with your intimate parts. Your eyes fluttered close as the muscles in your neck gave out and you let your head hang back on the wall.

“Look at me” Seonghwa grunted and your eyes snapped back open instantly meeting his dark ones, his irises seemed to go black with perversion.

“Now I’m gonna make you cum” He announced as he picked up the pace once more, you can tell he didn’t intend to stop before it was over. “I want you to never forget this. This feeling you’re about to experience.” His wrist took on a punishing pace as your eyes were locked with his. Pleasure sending radiating heat through your body, chest heaving up and down as you moan out loudly with your jaw hanging open. “Every time you’ll think of me I curse you to feel exactly… like… this”

Seonghwa finally wrapped his mouth around your lonely and eager little clit, flicking his tongue on it as his fingers relentlessly punched your g spot, both sources of pleasure go to your head and your first orgasm finally drops over you like a wave, taking you away with its raging current.

Your cum squirts out of your body, water like fluid rushing out of you and filling Seonghwa’s mouth, drenching his neck and exposed chest in the asymmetrical silver vest. He moaned, lips against yours and sending delicious vibrations into you.

You screamed out as the level of pleasure ripped through you, your walls clenching around Seonghwa and twitching uncontrollably as your whole body shook, still magically pinned down to the wall.

When you finally settled down he slowed down and took his fingers out of you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking his fingers clean.

“Hmmm” he hummed contentedly and smacked his lips, seemingly enjoying your taste. “It’s true… Good little sluts, like you, taste much better”.

Seonghwa cut the spell and stood back up, your exhausted body dropping to the floor, your weakened legs unable to support your weight.

Seonghwa had enough of this teasing and had grown impatient. He brushed back the cum-soaked locks of charcoal black hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks, the wet skin of his chest glistening under the silver asymmetrical vest. Your eyes trailed down below the belt you gasped as you saw the outline of what was hidden from your eyes all this time… Even still restricted by the fabric of the shiny gray dress pants, the thickness and the length had your heart racing again.

“I want to feel you around me. Now.” he ordered, in a sultry tone that lifted goosebumps all over your naked skin.

Suddenly your body was magically lifted up again but this time Seonghwa threw you on the bed. The veil was barely hanging onto your hair anymore.

Seonghwa walked to you as he took off the cropped blazer along with the rest of his clothes. You gulped down at the sight of his nude and perfectly sculpted body standing beside you. The glistening chest made wet with sweat and cum, dripping down his abs even down to his groin where you barely even dared to look.

There it was. The Absolute Sin.

Seonghwa’s long, thick, twitching, veiny, hard cock.

You could have screamed at the monstrous thing if you weren’t still in a daze from your first crushing orgasm . It was so thick, so long you couldn’t even begin to imagine how this was about to fit inside you.

Seonghwa chuckled when he caught the panic swimming in your wide eyes. He thrived on this fear. And he knew exactly how it was going to go. And he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t wait to see the very same doe eyes grow heavy with pleasure and look back at him with need when you will inevitably beg him to keep going, to never stop fucking you. Because he broke you once and he intended to do it over and over and over again until you will no longer remember anything but him.

Seonghwa dipped both his knees at your sides, his body weight making yours sink in the soft mattress while he shimmied his way up between your wide open legs.

He rubbed the thick blazing hot tip on your still very sensitive bud while he stared down at the place your two bodies met. You tried not to moan by biting down on your bottom lip.

“Please” you meekly whimpered, his dark eyes shot back to yours.

“Please what?” he slithered between his teeth, smirking.

“Please don’t… do that…” you puffed, as fear crushed your chest. Seonghwa snickered again and brought his hand to very gently and softly brush his thumb over your wet cheeks and lips.

“Darling” his deep voice purred so softly. “You are not under any spell here. You can control this tiny little body of yours. So go ahead” he taunted you as his hand went down from your face to your sensitive nipples. “Go ahead and close your legs.”

What? No… It isn’t possible.

There was no way he was not the one forcing your thighs apart like this. But when you gave it a try, when you attempted to lift your ankle it actually worked. You indeed could move. But… somehow you…. still didn’t.

“Come on show me. Go ahead, pretty” his hand went down again to your stomach. “Close your legs on this poor, aching, desperate….” he flicked his pointer finger on your clit “virgin little pussy”. The sweet sting made you moan out and arch your back instinctively.

Seonghwa waited a few seconds staring down at you with amusement as you didn't move an inch. Your body kept your legs nice and wide for him against your own will.

“You know what?” he took his hand back and you swallowed back a whine and the loss of contact. “Okay, I won’t… if you are still this strong headed after all of this maybe you’re right. You are a pure spirit and I can admit defeat when I have lost.”

The smug look he wore completely gave him away. You knew it was a ruse, a ploy to get to you, to toy with you but you weren’t listening to reason anymore, only your delirious body tortured with vicious need and you just couldn’t risk it. You couldn’t risk him leaving you, not like this.

“NO!” you wailed, extending your hand to him as he was already getting off the bed and on to his feet. “I-…I-… Ok… do it”

Seonghwa’s expression here took a turn. The smug smile was completely wiped off his face, only dark brown and grave eyes looking down on your naked frame.

“Yeah?” he came back to bed and laid over you. He brought his lips close to your ear and he seductively whispered against your neck as your eyes fluttered close. “If you want it, sweetheart. You’ll have to properly beg for it”.

Your eyes snapped open. But Seonghwa only looked dead serious.

“I- I-” you started but Seonghwa lifted his hand to let it slap against your wet cunt. The whacking sound bounced off the bare walls and the stinging pain had you grunting in unsolicited pleasure.

“I said properly. I want to believe you” his voice had nothing of the playful undertone it had a few moments ago. You didn’t think twice, maybe not even at all.

“Please, Seonghwa. I implore you to fuck me. Please fuck and use my slutty virgin cunt as much as you’d like. Please hurt me and rip my virginity away. I want to scream and cry out your name. I want to be yours. I want to forget everything about the good girl I used to be, I want to be your whore. Forget about my soul, just take it with you back to hell.”

Silence fell as a grin played on his lips. It’s not smug or playful, it’s wicked, downright evil. 

You were not just begging him. The desperate prose was not just a plea. It was a prayer. You were praying for him to taint you. Begging him to take away your purity like it was nothing but a nuisance to you, discarding it. Seeing you abandon your values and principles was the greatest achievement, a victory so sweet it made Seonghwa lose control. The feeling was intoxicating, blissfully filling his veins and making his evil heart thump. In his infinite existence he had never felt that. And it was all thanks to you.

Suddenly his body was elevated in the air and purple smoke enveloped him again. For a second you were scared that he was actually leaving you but the thought vanished as quick as it appeared when you heard the distinctive shrill sound of the metal scraping against the wall. You looked above your head and you witnessed with dread the crucifix above your bed being slowly turned upside down, engraving the white plaster of the bare walls. The foreboding omen lifted goosebumps off your skin and sent a cold shiver down your spine.

Soon you saw his body peek out as the smoke evaporated. It was still him but he had changed.

Huge wings were open behind his back, covered in raven black lustrous feathers, shining under the moonlight peeking from the window as the dark night was now settled. Two black horns have pierced his skin at each side of his head, pointing upwards, resembling the ones of a spanish bull. His body, somehow, looked even more defined, the muscles of his abs and shoulders seemed to bulge out. He looked strong, ominous, dangerous.

“You have such a way with words” he said as he floated back between your legs and settled his huge cock on your stomach. “Now I’m gonna make all of your wishes come true”. He brushed the tip of his cock, wet with precum, once again on your slick folds. “I've never fucked a mortal in my true form before.” he started, still rubbing against you, the muted pleasure making your brain fuzzy. “I can’t guarantee you’ll come out of this alive”.

But you were already set on it and if you had to die, so be it…

“I don’t care” you whispered as your eyebrows met and you looked back at him with need.

You braced yourself when you felt him finally push himself inside you. You could practically hear your hymen rip in two to make way for his huge cock. The puny little carrot could have never compared to the size of him.

“What a good little slut you are,” he cooed, before grunting as you were gripping around him. “Willing to die for a round of fun on my big cock”.

Sharp throbbing pain ripped through your lower stomach as you frowned and grunted.

“I know…” Seonghwa purred as he leaned over in your ear “I’m big” he said as he finally reached the bottom of you, linking his hips with yours. And he pulled out a lot faster than when he came in. Your eyes rolled back and you crushed the pillow over your mouth to yell in it.

But when he went back in again somehow the ache had lessened and pleasure was slowly taking its place. Soon the pain, as sharp as it was, vanished to become only a vague memory you couldn’t even recall as your mind was too preoccupied by the incommensurable pleasure Seonghwa made you feel.

“Fucking whore” Seonghwa grunted as he mercilessly ramed up your pussy, making it the shape of his cock. “Cheating on God feels good, doesn’t it? Your whorish little cunt can’t resist this fat demon cock, can it?” he growled.

You started twitching once again around him and Seonghwa instantly recognized the familiar clench he felt earlier around his fingers.

“Are you going to cum?” he asked, panting above you.

You couldn’t even process the words you were hearing as your eyes rolled back and your jaw fell open. But you were brought back to your senses when Seonghwa’s big clawed hand slapped your cheek forcefully. The burning pain took you aback and stopped your never ending ascension to pleasure. You whined a complaint and Seonghwa grabbed your face into a strong grip making your lips pout.

“Good little whores have to ask first” he said, still deeply pounding your precious little pussy.

“Pleasepleaseplease… C-can I cum?... F-fuckk… Please” you mumbled as his pace made it hard to hold yourself back.

“No!” he responded sternly. “Not now” he said, smirking evilly. Enjoying this anguish in your eyes as you tried your best to control your body. He brought his hand and pinched hard on your swollen little clit.

“Aaaah” you screamed, arching your back and pressing your head back into the soft mattress.

“You’ll cum when I’ll tell you too” he snickered, looking down at you. And the pleasure kept on building, frustrated tears starting to wet your cheeks again.

“My God please…” you whined, as tears streamed down your face and your pussy clenched around his thick cock. Seonghwa scoffed.

“Sorry but he has left you, darling.” He started to draw circles on your sensitive and aching clit, still maintaining the punishing pace of his cock rearranging your guts, making the rosary beads jump along with your breasts with each powerful thrust. You cry out as it’s becoming nearly impossible to keep yourself from cumming. “He abandoned you to me” he growled, his low voice sending electricity down your core.

“Pleaseeeee” you pleaded once more, desperation oozing out of your broken up voice and finally Seonghwa pronounced the magic words.

“Cum. Cum for me like the godless little whore that you are”

Finally you let go. You let Seonghwa’s skillful hand and monstrous, merciless cock take you down to the hellish pit of lustful sin. Pleasure took over you and clouded your vision, everything came to a blur as you could only concentrate on the throbbing of your cunt around Seonghwa’s thick dick. You moaned out his name in pure agonizing bliss. The orgasm was even longer lasting, even stronger than the one he gave you moments ago. And you knew for a fact now that there was no going back.

The good girl that you were had died, Seonghwa killed her. And you had let him do it without batting an eyelash. But fuck did it feel good. You felt no shame, no regrets, only unholy desire for the demon’s heavenly cock.

Soon the high wore off but Seonghwa didn’t seem to care and kept on pounding you, taking a bruising grip on your parted thighs with both his hands.

“Please” you whimpered again as your poor little pussy might split in two from clenching and throbbing this much right after an earth shattering orgasm. Seonghwa chuckled in between heavy breaths.

“I just came” you cried out, turning into an over-stimulated mess.

“I don’t care” he spat, using you like a fucktoy just like he pleased, after all you had asked him to do so… ‘to fuck and use your slutty virgin cunt as much as he’d like’. The exhausted quivering of your restless pussy started to build up again and before you could even realize it, Seonghwa’s thick cock had you flirting with the edge of the bottomless pleasure pit again.

“Please” you whined “Please stop” you begged him, breast lewdly jumping up and down with each of his brutal thrusts. But he kept on going, growling as his eyebrows met, handsome face contorted in pleasure, biting his lip. Body pressed over yours and full black feathered wings completely concealing you, one of his horns even scraping the wall with one too violent move.

“Pleaseeeee” you whimpered yet again. And suddenly your body was being lifted and flipped over by Seonghwa’s spell. You land on all fours, completely confused but worst of all, completely empty.

“Don’t you get it?” Seonghwa said as he slowly pushed himself back into your soft, warm little throbbing cunt. You moaned as you gladly took him back. “You sold your soul to me. You don’t get to ask for anything anymore. So I’ll fuck you for as long as I see it fit” He said before pushing down on your face, shoving your head into a shamefully submissive position, your ass up in the air, ready to be destroyed by him once more.

His fat cock parted you so deliciously as lewd wet sounds rang to your ears. It was like your once virgin pussy had completely taken the shape of his monstrous dick. Every movement he made ripped a delighted moan out of your lips, you didn’t have the will to fight anymore. You only wanted him and this delectable high he made you feel.

“Fuckkk” you cried out as he started to go faster again, the quiver in your lower stomach making a quick return.

“You’re my thing now.” He ripped the veil of your hair, the last relic of your past self and sent it flying across the room. He grabbed a fistfull of your hair, harshly pulling on it maintaining your face forward but your chin still firmly planted in the mattress, asserting his dominance on your frail figure. “My toy, you hear?” the sting on your scalp added to the full feeling of his cock had you completely fucked out. Your eyes rolled as heat spreaded through you again, your jaw fell open and your tongue slipped out. You were fucked out dumb, completely. Brain nice and thoughtless just from him.

“Yeshhh” you mumbled.

“I’m gonna make you cum again and this time I will fill your dirty little cunt with my cum” The obscene sounds of his balls slapping against your slick folds and clit bounced off the walls.

“Yesshh pwweathe” you replied as your tongue slapped against your chin with each inhuman thrust of his hips deep into you, sending strings of drool on your chin and staining the sheets.

“Today you’re ovulating, you know what it means?”

Your eyes snapped back open.

“I’m gonna force a child into you. You’ll take my seed into your fertile womb and life will sprout inside you” His grip on your hair tightened and you felt him start to twitch inside you.

“You’d like that?” he teases, knowing the answer.

“Yesssshhhhh!!!” you yelled, you were ready for anything if it meant he’d let you cum again.

“Then take it. Take my cum you depraved slut” His second hand left your hips to grab the rosary still around your neck, twisting his wrist to wrap the beads around his fingers and pulling on it while still maintaining his grasp on your hair.

Bloodstream to your brain became restrained and you started to feel dizzy. A deliciously light headed sensation filled your head up as your pussy quivered with a third orgasm. Your hungry cunt squeezed Seonghwa’s thick length as if its life depended on it, demanding every last drop of cum the demon had to offer. You clenched and throbbed around him in pure joyful sin as he took you to the deepest part of this abysmal and cursed pleasure, taking your sanity and everything that was left of the old you to the pits of hell with him.

Seonghwa’s rhythm faltered and he shuddered and grunted in bliss as his throbbing cock gushed out streams after streams of piping hot cum that stained your walls with white, shooting straight up to your womb, assuredly knocking you up in the process. 

You yelled and moaned one last time. You were so full of him, belly round and swollen with the ungodly amount of cum Seonghwa gracefully gifted you. You were so unbelievably full that you couldn't help but to let it flow out of you and run down your thighs, no matter how much you clenched to keep it all inside. 

You were in heaven. This was pure euphoria. A kind of contentment not any amount of spirituality and virtue could ever give you. The kind of happiness you could only experience when you let go of everything you’ve ever known to throw yourself into the arms of the most pleasurable sin of all.

Lust.

***

The next morning when you woke up at dawn with the chirping birds you felt nauseous and disoriented. You looked around the room and found it immaculate. Your habit was not ripped in two, it was neatly folded on the wooden bedside table along with your veil and underwear. The room was clean and neat: no traces of small pieces of orange carrot anywhere or puddles of cum on the wooden floor. And you were wearing a comfortable full length pyjama gown.

In a flash, disjointed memories came back to you. You remembered the anthracite gray suit, the black bull horns, the raven wings, the defined abs, the devilishly handsome good looks, the tempting smirk and the huge thick angry cock and the immense forbidden pleasure that came along with it.

You sat up and looked behind you hastily, the wall was perfectly smooth, no scrapes of the black horns and most of all the crucifix was perfectly normal, hanging right side up.

You spotted the small, thin, intact carrot next to your pillow and sighed in relief. Yes, you had sinned but you knew if you confessed and prayed hard enough God would forgive you. Afterall, you had never done such a thing and it was shameful and wrong, yes, but they were far greater sins than this one, like selling your soul to the Sin of Lust and bearing his child… You shook your head, chasing away the blurry memory of the nightmare, feeling a weird tingly build up in your lower stomach as you saw flashes of the evil smirks and the huge monstrous-

“It was a dream” you said out loud, sighing, hoping the sound of your own voice would prevent your mind from imagining more of the sinful imagery. “Just a meaningless dream” you told yourself again.

Convinced the soreness between your legs was only due to masturbating for the first time, that the nausea was nothing to worry about and that the spasm inside your belly were benign little cramps.

Seonghwa smirked in victory as he looked at you through the pierced purple smoke. He made it. He broke you beyond repair. He went, won and marked you. And soon he would back to take what you had promised him: an offspring and your soul, body and mind, you.

“See you soon, y/n” he chuckled.

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a/n: leave a comment or even a cheeky lil reblog if you liked it <3

taglist: @written-in-flowers @wlv-asteria @wisejudgedragonhairdo @skz1-4-3 @atinism @watamotee33 @sanhwalvr @alicedawitchbish @caratsmatic @reeateez @bts-army380 @woohwababes @yoonivjpg @salam2salang @seokqt @hotteokkay @itza-meee @stanredvelvetforstdprotection @meowmeeps @ingloriousbasterdss @roomsofangel @cheynalexilaiho @kyukyustar @seonghwasstar @oddracha @aaa-sia @lol-imtrash2000 @luminouskalopsia @yandere-stories @shocymer @bangchansbackohmygod

#seonghwa #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #park seonghwa #ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts #seonghwa ateez #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa hard thoughts #seonghwa hard hours #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa imagines #kpop smut #ateez fic #ateez imagines #seonghwa x you #ateez x reader

[uravitypng]

Koutaro's kinks, let's talk about it 🤓 even better with our chubby reader🤩☝🏼

eeek !! i'm soooo excited to talk about him !!♡

praise- koutaro LOVES praise!! giving and receiving. he likes being told about how good he's making you feel and how much you love him. he likes praising you, if you have self esteem issues or you don't bokuto is going to do everything in his power to constantly remind you how wonderful and pretty you are. "so gorgeous baby, my pretty girl. just perfect, i love you."

size kink- his size kink kicks in whenever he's around you because you're just so soft and squishy (smaller than him in height too, because he's superrr tall) and he loves having you under him, his large form caging you in between his arms. "you look so good under me, i could just eat you right up." he's so much bigger than you and can pick you up like you weigh nothing, pressing your pudgy body against his harder firm body makes his head go fuzzy. he will manhandle you without even realising it, he just wants your soft small body where he wants you to be and will move you to make sure you are there.

breeding- boy oh boy does he have a breeding kink. the idea of filling you up for hours sounds like heaven. "come on babe, you can get that later. i'm sure you're sore. if you really want your charger i can get it for you," he thinks you don't know whats happening. you do. he doesn't want to have any of his cum drip out of you. it would be a waste, the only place his cum should be is in you with no chance of any spilling out.

daddy kink- he obviously knew about daddy kinks but he never thought he had one. the idea didn't seem super appealing to him and he never thought to ask anyone to call him it in bed butttt when you accidentally slip out a breathy moan of 'daddy' when he slides into you his pace becomes unsteady because holy hell did that sound good coming out of your mouth. his previously stated breeding kink is doubled. bokuto's super into it and it never fails to get a blush out of him.

the more common it's become with you both the more confident he will get in indulging himself with calling you 'mama/mummy' while folding you in half and plowing into you, making sure by the end of the night you end up with at least three loads of his cum in you. "that feel good? want daddy to make you a mummy?" "want daddy to fill you up?"

#these kinks are canon he told me so himself #i hope you like this ♡ #♡ bokkun #♡ mine / writing #♡ lana's letters #kotaro bokuto x reader #bokuto x reader smut #chubby reader #chubby reader smut #bokuto koutaro x reader #hq smut

[greenorangevioletgrass]

fever pitch (b.b.) - part three

previous part | series masterlist

soundtrack: don't blame me - taylor swift pairing: footballer!bradley x popstar!reader synopsis: you and bradley spend the night, but the road to heaven is full of obstacles; some are external, others are self-inflicted. warnings: language, public scrutiny (will be a recurring theme in this fic ha!), bradley is a stand-up guy all round, fluff, smut (d/s elements, praise kink, bit of a bratty side?, fingering, oral [f receiving], dirty talk, size kink, bradley is PACKING, protected sex) notes: i'm back! life has been crazy since i posted the previous chapter, but i just wanna say thank you so so much for your patience and your kind words about the fic so far! big shoutout to @gretagerwigsmuse and @teacupsandtopgun for being absolutely GEMS in brainstorming ideas-- this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for y'all <3 happy reading!

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The Langham, Sterling Suite. Ask for Holly Golightly ;)

Bradley smiles at your text, and the cheeky “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” reference. He shoots up a quick reply as he makes his way out to the lobby, fighting hard not to be grinning like an idiot to any unassuming passersby, until—

Click-click-click-click! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!

“Hey, it’s Bradley Bradshaw!”

“Oi, Bradley! Give us a smile, mate!”

“Bradley, did you get to meet Y/N inside?”

“Did the boss let you out on a school night, Bradley?”

”How are you feeling about the Sunderland game this weekend?”

It’s a meager distance from the steps of Annabel’s to the curb where the valet has brought out his car, but holy shit. It doesn’t usually get nearly as crazy as this. He’s partied here with Harry Styles, and nobody bat an eye when the guy stumbled out drunk with his left tit out. But maybe it’s because Harry lives in London sometimes, or maybe because he was on a break… unlike Miss Americana on her world tour right now. It makes him pause and rethink how careful he needs to be.

Bradley gets into his car and drives off, trying to tread between the fine line of quick and careful. He can’t help but look over the rearview mirror more often than normal. Fuck, is this how you feel like all the time? He’s no stranger to the spotlight, but rather than the occasional run-ins, nobody has ever been interested in where he went to dinner on a random Tuesday night.

The Langham is barely a mile away, but Bradley sees photographers parked across the hotel with their long-lens cameras and disgusting disposition, and he keeps on driving. Thinking. Restrategizing. Hoping that his vintage aubergine Ferrari isn’t causing suspicion for driving by the second and third time.

He finds a basement parking lot behind the building and pulls up, hoping it’s the right entrance to the hotel. The attendant looks starstruck as he nods and points the way, sending him off with an eager ‘Come on you Gunners!’. And just like that, he makes it into the lobby out of the pap’s sight.

Be cool, he reminds himself, you’re only as suspicious as you seem to be. He comes up to the reception desk, and the girl behind it greets him warmly.

“Good evening, sir. Welcome to the Langham. How may I help you?”

“I’m here to see Ms. Golightly at the Sterling Suite,” Bradley says smoothly. “Holly Golightly.”

“And who am I speaking with, sir?” The girl looks at him like he seems familiar, but can’t quite place him. 

“...Paul Varjak,” he states, unable to bite back the smile. Oh, the thrill of giving out a fake name with the very real possibility of getting called out on his shit. 

But she nods and grabs the telephone, dialing into your room. Blissfully ignorant of the pseudonym he just gave her. 

Good. 

Let this inside joke be the two of yours alone.

The elevator ride up is peaceful—too peaceful that he can hear his heart beating and his palms sweating. Even the carpet mutes his footsteps towards the double door. Before he even presses the bell, a bodyguard opens the door for him.

“Mr. Bradshaw,” he nods curtly. It’s one of the guys from the restaurant earlier. Middle-aged, stout and rather short, sporting a permanent scowl and a vibe that indicates he’s seen some shit.

“Hi. Sorry, I haven’t got your name…?”

“Guy,” he deadpans.

Bradley wonders if that’s his real name or he’s just saying it so Bradley would get off his case, but smiles anyway. “Nice to meet you, Guy.”

Guy hums gruffly and ushers him into the foyer, an identical hallway of the hotel, with a room on each side. “Through here,” he leads him towards another set of double doors at the end of the hallway.

Meanwhile, you are full-on freaking out in your living room. Should you get changed? You’ve taken off your heels, but getting everything off feels so premeditated… You don’t even know if he wants things to go that far. Maybe you can break your little rule and bring out the wine for liquid courage? Gosh, nothing feels right. And it’s been so long since you’ve last done this that you’ve actually gone rusty.

And before you get to decide—in the long, wasteful twenty minutes or so you’ve been pacing, you hear a knock on your door.

“Coming!”

You rush over to get the door and there he is, coming out victorious through the hurdles, smiling at you.

“Thanks, Guy. I’ll take it from here,” you dismiss your security a little too quickly, nodding over Bradley’s shoulder. You’re sure Guy is rolling his eyes all the way back to his room over your lovestruck teenager behavior.

But it hardly matters when this man before you is looking at you like the sun.

“Hey, you.” Bradley beams at you from his spot. As if afraid to invade your space somehow.

And so are you. This feels like that night in the garden all over again. You have to remind yourself that this isn’t some pocket of a park you stumbled into; this is your hotel room. 

Quiet. 

Private. 

Safe.

“Come on in.” You let him cross the threshold, closing the door behind him the warm foyer light cast golden upon his face. You’re not sure if it’s the fact that you’ve ditched your six-inch heels, or that there’s no one else, but Bradley looks even taller than you remember him. Broader. More… imposing.

“I’m sorry for taking so long. There’s cameras everywhere and I had to—”

“It’s okay,” you try to reassure him. It feels rude to ask if he got caught on camera, but at this point, you had to ask. “Did you… Did they…?” 

Bradley quickly shakes his head. “No, I took the basement entrance, out of sight. We’re good.”

”I’m, uh… sorry for the fuss.”

”Hey, it’s no trouble at all… Ms. Golightly,” he tilts his head, grinning at your chosen pseudonym.

”Yeah, it changes every time. My last stop in Tennessee, I was Clarice Starling,” you admit, making him laugh. “Although I’m glad you got the reference… Mr. Varjak.”

He simpers, very proud of himself. And with that, he takes a step closer to you. Towering over you. Crowding you with his smile, his scent, his body heat… and neither of you makes the first touch. You’re painfully aware of how his gaze keeps dropping to your lips. Bodies drawn towards each other but tied in place for some reason. It seems like despite all the flirting you did at the restaurant, everything goes out the window once you’re alone.

You’re just two strangers, caught in a thrilling game of push and pull. Too scared to tip over and just… fall.

“Can I kiss you…?” Bradley breathes out. He feels foolish for asking, but it’s the only way to make sure he’s not ruining the entire evening.

But you sigh in relief and nod your head yes, and it gives you the push you need to close the distance from him. You don’t know which one happened first; touching his lips with yours, grasping his arms for balance, or standing on your tiptoes on his shoes. He keeps you there, his strong hands securing your waist.

“You’re making me feel like a kid…” It makes you giggle into the kiss, and he can’t not possibly fall in love with the sound of that—with the feel of your lips pulled up right against his.

“I don’t think that’s a bad thing…” Bradley runs his hands down your sides gently. “Besides, I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

“All night? You mean you’ve been thinking about making out with me while I tell you my life story?” you gasp, feigning shock and offense.

He laughs again. “Maybe for a moment or two there, I’ll admit.”

“I thought you were a gentleman!” you give him a playful smack on his behind, and there’s a flash of… something in his eyes. A spark, or a darkening. You’re not sure what it is yet, but it sends butterflies into your stomach yet again.

Bradley tucks some loose strands of your hair behind your ear. “I’m still a gentleman.”

“Really? I don’t believe that…” you sway his hips lightly, “I think you’re very… very bad,” you purr out, your lips barely touching.

He meets you halfway, and it feels like less of a shock this time. You gladly lose yourself in him, knowing you’ve crossed the line now. You finally notice how his mustache scratches your skin in a nice way, how he holds you flush against him, how he just melts into you in the kiss… enshrouding you in his warmth and lighting you on fire at the same time. 

Bradley pulls away, barely just. His forehead is still pressed against yours, your noses are bumping, and his breath melding with yours. He licks his lips and you swear you can almost taste it. “You’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman, kid…”

You can’t help but chuckle at the nickname. It’s not one you expect, but it sounds right somehow. “I didn’t invite you all the way here to be a gentleman.”

The twinkle in his eyes darken. Fuck, you’re gonna be the death of him. “Is that right?” Bradley’s hands slide down your hips, finding the swell of your ass and giving it a firm squeeze.

The air catches in your throat, and you swallow lightly. “Mm-hm.”

Instead, you lead him into the bedroom. Bradley is right behind you, barely a step behind. His hands have found a home on your hips and he seems adamant to stay there for a moment. Insisting to hold onto you because he worries he’ll get ahead of himself before you’re ready. But gosh, you’ve been ready all night and you’re practically twisting your arms around trying to reach the zipper on the back of your dress.

“Come here, I got you,” he rasps, his heart skipping as he drags the zipper down your back. He’s not sure which one he loves more; the dip of your spine that he wants to trace with your tongue, or the way the dress falls to the floor and reveals what’s underneath that prim and proper pink dress.

A tiny scrap of lace held by a black strap on either side of your hips, framing the swell of your ass perfectly.

And he swears, for a split second, he thought he had died and gone to heaven.

“Fuck…” he breathes out.

You can’t turn around fast enough. It might be a good ‘fuck’, but what if it’s a bad one? “What’s wrong?”

Bradley just blinks at you, for no other reason than how your nipples are poking out the side of the skimpy triangle of your bra. And that your lipstick is smeared on the edges from kissing him.

But of course, your mind is already racing from the lack of response and you’re already thinking, oh no this was a bad idea I shouldn’t have worn this—

“Hey, hey…” he sees your face fall and your arms come up to cover your chest and he immediately steps in. Holding you close, hoping to give you comfort. “Is this all for me?”

Oh, shit. Maybe if you close your eyes tight enough, you would melt to the floor. “I know, it’s a little much—”

“No, that’s not what I asked…” Bradley tilts your chin up, making you look him in the eye. “I said… Did you put these on for me?”

Your breath comes up short, and you nod ever so slightly. You don’t even trust your own voice not to betray how much you want him to like it. How much you want him.

“It’s perfect. I love it. Thank you.” He smiles into your lips, kissing you there. Spelling out how he feels with his hands on your ass, his mouth on yours. “Such a good girl…”

That flips a switch in your brain and he can see it. Your eyes go wide, your posture changes, and all of a sudden, you look so… small in his arms. So vulnerable, so beautiful. So perfect. 

Suddenly, he’s holding the world in his arms. The sexy little thing you call panties is a pesky little nuisance now, and he can’t wait to get it off of you. His broad shoulders are keeping your legs open, his nose nuzzling your pubic bone as he looks up at you.

Bradley lowers you down on the side of the bed, settling on his knees before you. Committing every inch to memory by touch, from your ankle to your knee, up the inside of your thighs. When he reaches the scrap of fabric at your core, he feels it slick. He smirks. “What do we have here?”

Your face heats up. How the fuck are you supposed to answer that? No words are coming to your head—not when he’s drawing patterns over your pussy, making the lace glisten all over. And when your panties are positively ruined, he draws his hand back and licks the offending fingers in earnest.

And all it takes is a taste to send him into a frenzy. 

“Fuck honey, need to taste you…” he murmurs between feverish kisses all over your legs. “Can I?”

You nod fervently, feeling like he’s got you under a spell.

“Use your words, kid.” He grins, playfully biting the inside of your thigh.

The sharp sensation makes you yelp, and you grip his hair in reflex. “Yes, want your mouth on me, please…”

“Good girl, asking so nicely…” he chuckles, satisfied with your response. Then, he pulls you to the edge of the bed. That dainty scrap of lace you call panties is a pesky nuisance now, and he couldn’t wait any longer to get it off of you. With your legs hiked up on his broad shoulders, he dives into you. 

A taste, as it turns out, is an understatement because what Bradley does is devour. 

“Oh, fuck…” you gasp sharply at the contact.

With one hand pinning your thigh open, he laps you up in earnest, figuring out the many ways he can make you squirm. Time ceases to exist because it feels like he makes you come in no time, but also he’s been down there forever. But he goes on and on and on until his name comes out in a desperate chant of lust and need. 

“Bradley Bradley Bradley…” she grinds shamelessly into his mustache now, an unfamiliar but not unwelcome sensation on your part. “Please, I’m gonna…”

“I know, honey. I got you. It’s okay.” It’s an oddly wholesome thing to say in a moment like this, but maybe you’re a hopeless romantic at heart, because sweet nothings get you off.

Your orgasm strikes like a thunderbolt, and you find yourself arching into his mouth. The more you take, the more he gives—or is it the other way around?— It seems like he takes as much pleasure in it as you do. Maybe even more, as he holds onto you as you squirm away overstimulated.

“Bradley… wait.” You grab a handful of his hair, trembling breathlessly.

His mustache glistens when he comes up for air, and he finally (finally!) takes off his suit jacket as he stands up. He eases up on the throttle and lets you breathe for a second. He rolls up his sleeves to his elbows, watching you spread out like a feast for him. Legs open, bra askew, hair fanned out on the pillow… God, he’s so lucky.

When he returns on top of you, you’re eager to pull him by his belt buckle, but he brushes your hand away. You frown in protest. “But I wanna touch you—”

“It’s not your turn yet, honey,” he chides you teasingly.

“You just had your turn!”

He shrugs, nosing your cheek. “Well, it’s still my turn, so…” Bradley closes the gap again and kisses you openly.

The taste of your arousal on his tongue makes you dizzy, but it can’t distract you from the buzz of his fingers rubbing your devoured pussy, sending shivers down your spine. It’s entirely too much, and you keel over from the contact.

“Somebody’s a little sensitive, huh?” He grins, easing the throttle a little.

“Fuck you…”

“Well, if you say so.” He slides his middle finger in.

“Ohhh… Bradley…” you buck up your hips and moan. But in comes another finger, and you swear it feels like all of him. 

He’s wound differently this time, like a man on a mission. With his fingers crooking and stroking your silky walls, beckoning you to come closer, while you grip his shoulders, willing yourself to hold on. But his teeth yanks the edge of your bra to set your nipple free, and his sly tongue finally gets a taste… all resolve goes out the window.

“Come on, honey. I know you got another one in you…” he breathes out, undoing the front clasp of your bra so he can suck your tits with all his might, willing you to come.

And frankly, who are you to say no?

The burst of pleasure hits you from your core to your fingertips. If he wasn’t pinning you down on top of you, you would have probably floated away. But you’re firmly laid on the mattress and feeling everything. Your eyes blink back into focus as you come down from your high.

You pant, staring at him in disbelief. Nobody has ever put that much attention on you in bed before even taking off his clothes. “You got a baseball bat in there or something?”

“Something like that.” He rolls his eyes playfully. Jokingly, you assume.

You take his arm, kissing his wrist, “Can I touch you now?” sticking your tongue out to lick his digits clean of you. Putting on a show as you suck his fingers. “Please?”

He throws his head back and groans. “Fuck.” He can’t resist that doe-eyed look you’re putting on, nor can he resist you undoing his shirt buttons. He can play dominant all he wants, but he knows that the truth of the matter is, he’s all wrapped up around your little finger. “Okay, okay. You win.”

It’s a mess of unbuckling pants, kicking off shoes, and tossing clothes to the floor. Your hand reaches out to trace his gleaming skin, every ridge of his abdomen. You’ve seen the Calvin Klein campaigns and the Men’s Health covers— and gosh, he looks like a dream. But when that thing just springs up to his stomach when he pushes his boxers down…

You didn’t expect him to manifest straight out of your wet dream.

“Holy fuck, you weren’t kidding about your baseball bat,” you breathe out, head tilted as you stare at his thick cock. The vein that runs along the side, the way it curves slightly to the right, the length that makes you clench at the mere thought of it… Fuck, it’s pretty.

Bradley chuckles sheepishly. He knows how big it is, he’s heard all the jokes in the locker room, but hearing it from you hits different. “You scared?”

You should be, a little. But without flinching, you bite your lip and look him in the eye. “Nah, I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

Gosh, he loves you. He’ll have to remember not to blurt that out too early. “Okay, big girl,” he chuckles, kissing you one last time before rolling off of the bed.

His sudden disappearance out of sight makes you frown. “Where are you—” you prop yourself up on your elbow, seeing him fish out a packet of condom from his trousers pocket, “Right. Safety first.”

Bradley nods, tearing the packet open with his teeth and rolling it on. There’s something so hot about how a man looks just before he fucks someone. “Mm-hm. Gotta make sure we’re both covered.”

“Do I need goggles and a helmet, too?”

He pauses as he straddles your hips. “Maybe next round,” he cheekily quips back. The idea of you wearing nothing but a helmet and safety goggles weirdly makes his cock stir, too. But you’re already lying naked under him, and he doubts that much will deter his hard-on.

Bradley pushes himself into you a little, and your eyes water as you whimper out in a blur of pain and pleasure. And here you thought two of his fingers felt full…

He stops in his tracks, trying to gauge your reaction. He nearly lost his mind over how tightly you’re clenched around him, but he doesn’t want to presume. “Too much?” He asks softly, stroking your cheek. 

Your breaths run ragged as you look up at him, almost in awe. “You’re just… so big…”

He laughs breathlessly. He hates to brag, but it’s true. And as much as he’s enjoying the way you flutter under him, he has to ask, “Want me to pull out?” Please say no, please say no, I don’t think I can handle it…

“N-no…” you wrap your arms and legs around him, clinging to him for dear life. “But I don’t know if it’ll fit.”

Bradley smiles at what has to be the most adorable look he’s ever seen from you. He kisses your forehead in reassurance. “I’ll go nice and slow, okay? I promise.”

Feeling this small and vulnerable so soon after meeting someone would usually set all kinds of alarms in your head. You never know how a guy would take it. But in this moment, nestled in the crook of his neck, among the mix of his perfume and aftershave and his natural musk… all you want to do is stay. “Okay,” you nod softly.

“Let’s try again then, hm?” He kisses your temple and whispers in your ear, “Open up, love.”

With a deep breath, you bite back a whimper as you take him deeper, still not quite all the way in. “Hurts…”

Bradley stops again, his concern fully taking over now. “You sure you want me to keep going…?”

“Yes!” You surprise yourself with how quick and desperate you answered him. Your eyes shut, trying to offset the warmth setting over your cheeks, as you make the dirty admission, “I… I like it when it hurts.”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Bradley has to remind himself not to come on the spot, because holy shit. He wouldn’t go this hard on a woman so early in the game, but… his head is dizzy from how innocently you said it. He takes a breath to pull himself together. “Tell me if it’s too much, alright?”

The air is heavy. The room is silent. You can hear the shift in the tension as you smirk, “Yessir.”

There you are, you little devil. Bradley simply grabs you by the hips and bottoms out inside you. Your face goes slack while your cunt tightens around his cock, and it blows his mind.

He starts out slow, torturously so. Stuffing himself inside your crevice and dragging himself out, willing you to feel every inch. Every ridge. Until your body loosens up and twists around in the throes of passion. Your mouth falls open, your little gasps and moans coming and going as he pleases.

The unhurried pace is nice for a few minutes, when you’re still adjusting to his size. But now that he’s snug inside you, you’re simply aching for more. Your hips arch up into him halfway, a little more urgent, disrupting the rhythm with a pleasant stutter.

He notices this and smiles. “So eager… what’s the rush, hm?”

You answer with a groan. He has a penchant for asking you questions you can’t answer, this man. “You feel so good, baby…” you murmur headily, hands desperately grasping on him—his arms, his shoulders, his back…

”You feel even better.” He nips at your pert nipple, relishing in your angelic little filthy cry. Fuck, he can feel the exact motion of your pussy tightening for him. “I’m not gonna last long if you keep doing that…”

”Then don’t.”

His eyes flicker onto yours immediately. You’re gonna be the death of him, he swears…

You grab his hair by the fistful, keeping his gaze. “I want to feel you come inside me.”

”Oh fuck—” he doesn’t stand a chance. His body reacts faster than his brain could compute, and he holds your hips flush against his as he buries himself as deep as he can. Every twitch of his cock sends you reeling, and your pussy clenches and unwinds in your climax, following him down from his high to yours.

Free falling, hand in hand.

Bradley rolls off of you and you would complain, if it weren’t for the way he immediately pulls you into his chest. Thank fuck. You’re not quite ready to untangle from him yet. Not when your breaths still run a bit ragged, as if accidentally catching each other’s. He presses a kiss to your forehead, and it feels unlike your regular out-of-town hookup. No, this one’s different. But not a word is said between you on that for different reasons— each of you holding your cards close to your chest, as close as you’re holding each other.

#nowhere to go but up from here on out folks!! #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x reader #footballer!bradley #footballer!bradley x popstar!reader #top gun imagine #top gun au #ava writes #fever pitch

[lucysarah-c]

Stoppers

Summary: Levi feels overwhelming jealous and decides that nothing better to set things clear of who owns who than a good old fucking

WARNINGS: SMUT, HEAVILY EXPLICIT CONTEXT. Levi x reader. Dubious concent, Degradation, spitting, oral sex, oral male sex, harsh sex, vaginal sex. Top Levi. Sub Yn. UNSAFE SEX, don't be silly guys wear condoms not like Levi here. Desk sex. Canon universe. Dirty talk. Smut. Praise kink. Possessive behaviour. Possessive sex. Rough sex. Breeding kink.

Context: Y/n and Erwin used to flirt but it never reached far. They broke up before anything happened. Y/n and Levi began to have a relationship, Levi was her first. Levi get overwhelmingly jealouse. THIS takes place before Erwin becomes a commander or Levi a captain BUT, after the events of ACWNR.

I wrote this to practise smut for my main multichapter Levi fic, this my 4th smut so be nice lol. I'm self concious of my smuts so... practice makes perfect. This could be consider an spin off from my fanfic Holy Ground.

Thats it... in case I forget any warning or tag, feel free to tell me.

She was so happy, the way she jiggled and did a little dance in her place during lunch. The smile from one ear to another, it was absurdly big for her face. Levi just admired from the other side of the table, the glass (that was actually made of wood) of water close to his lips and he couldn’t help to smile a little bit. If she was happy then he was too, it was as simple as that.

“I’m going to be in charge, I’m going to be in charge” She repeated almost mockingly but also cheeky, as if it was a little kid showing off their win.

“The commander will still be around, don’t forget that,” Hange reassured the girl, who was getting ahead of herself, with it. The brunette was smiling tired as if they were the mother who succumb to the idea and wasn’t getting as much credit as they should “I agreed to Erwin to this, don’t forget that either”

“Yes Yes! Thank you!” The girl hastily agreed.

“She’s not listening to me,” Hange said while chuckling bitterly.

“She’s definitely not listening to you,” Levi agreed with them.

Y/N squealed again, gritting her teeth as the emotion was too much to handle. Erwin was leaving for a week to the capital and he had just announced to her that she could fill his work during his absence. Not that he was letting her do any actual leading work but more like not letting his paperwork accumulate and make sure everybody delivered their part on time.

Those were the crumbs of Erwin’s job, even when he wasn’t officially the commander yet and Shadis was still around, but it was the biggest official responsibility the girl was getting tastes off and she was enjoying it as there was no idea. It was a high state to be in, not only for the responsibility but also for the relief. Not only hers but everyone else. ‘War is over’

It was a shared alleviation, with both of them on good terms. The trench war that had fallen upon everybody during winter had been lifted. ‘They are in good terms, not a couple but good terms and that’s what it matter,’

They were over, both. Y/N was secretly dating Levi but it was like a whispered fact. They didn’t give any sort of hint that they could be together but people could feel it, or at least those who wanted to believe it. Erwin on the other hand was playing the mature party, the ‘we are comrades of many years and also friends, let's keep the friendship’.

Then, once the not hostile interactions began again people were quick to question him ‘Are you two back together?’  and the answer was always ‘We had always been friends, that’s what we are,’

Levi wondered if it hurted the blond, at the beginning it was obvious but time heals everything… right?

That was another hard edge of the polygon that this situation was. Levi and Erwin had been setting the base of a good comrades and friendship relationship. What was an enmity when the short man came to the scouts, became a mutual respect and, then it evolved to both starting to get along. What felt a disinterest of the blond’s romantic situation with his actual girlfriend become a ‘I’m fucking his ex behind his back’.

Not that Levi regretted it but he wasn’t used to that, playing those sort of games and the guiltiness of not being the mature party to set things clear made him grim uneasy. ‘I own him an explanation’

“Should I pay for the cleaning service or the first time is free?” Erwin questioned, entertained, as Levi, who came to deliver some papers, got overwhelmed with the state of the office and began to clean on pure will.

“How the fuck can you work in the state this place is in? When was the last time you brushed the fucking dust from this shelfs?” Levi, who was already in a whole rampage of cleaning duties, complained.

“I’m doing my job, Shadis’ job and trying to make sure the scouts aren’t erased from the military… I’ve not had time recently to keep the space tidy,” Erwin excused himself while he went back to work on his desk.

From his peripheral view, he could see the agile and tiny shadow of Levi moving around the office, murmuring to himself and clicking his tongue like a mother who says ‘nobody helps me in this house?! what are you going to do the day I am no longer here?’

“This is not the first time you have this shitty load of work, I’ve never seen your office this fucking pigsty,” Levi lectured again and as soon as he said it, he regret it.

“Well… mh,” Erwin doubtful tried to find the politically correct and ambiguous answer “Someone else took care of it before,”

They both knew the reality to that. Levi didn’t insist because he was one of the reasons that person wasn’t doing these duties anymore. The blond also joined in the mood. This time, silently, Levi kept carrying on his previous activities. Without an actual team to lead and had finished training cadets in the morning, his afternoons were quiet and relaxed.

“If you don’t want me to mess up your stuff, say it now beforeI lose my boundaries,” The shorter man clarified as he had finished tidying up the place.

Only the office was suffering the rampage of his obsessive behavior but the attached bathroom and bedroom felt off limits. The future captain wanted to respect those boundaries. 

“Erwin,” He insisted.

“Sorry, what?” The blond raised his attention from the papers to look at the other man then, as he processed the words , he replied “Oh yeah, please, feel free.”

“You sure? even the room and the bathroom?”

“I’ll clean every corner…” he insisted.

“You’ll make me a huge favour,”

Erwin chuckled a bit dry “I don’t know what you think I hide in my personal chambers but yeah, go ahead,”

Those words kept resonating in Levi’s head. His pale fingers folded the laundry and then found a place for them in the wardrobe. Between the tide of uniforms, bluish and purplish pieces of clothes there was a striking colour at the back of it. Levi, who was kneeled on the ground to tidy up the bottom of the closet, didn’t give credit to his own eyes.

Behind boxes that probably had special occasion outfits that were worth keeping separated from the rest. Behind the couple pairs of spare training boots, behind some perfumes, behind some tightly squeezed sweaters that he wasn’t wearing during this hot season, behind all that there was something that had a pastel pink ribbon.

That was all Levi saw between the space of the hanging laces of the spare boots. The colour was striking, nothing like the rest. It was so back in the wardrobe, so covered up, so squeezed on the deepest corner that it screamed ‘I’m a secret’

But Levi had been there before searching for secrets, back when Isabel and Furlan were still around and if that pink thing ‘whatever that is’ had been there, he would have seen it. There was something so particular about that shade of pink with golden tiny letters on the edges. He had seen those before, he knew exactly what that was the second his eyes landed on it.

His pale hand slowly but surely penetrated to the back of the wardrobe, reached the pink ribbon and pulled from it. The champagne coloured cardboard bag had the name of the expensive Sina’s wall clothes shop that his, his, girlfriend liked so much. The subtle rose pearl ribbon was tying the opening of the bag. The satin fabric of it shined gracefully in the light of the room and felt like velvet under Levi’s finger as he pulled from it.

Usually, he was known for his stoic uninterested expression but right there, he was lost in the process. His lips slightly parted, his hands grabbed and pulled out part of the items inside of the bag. A perfume, hygiene stuff, a cute thick baby blue dress, stockings, what seemed to be pyjamas, a thick knitted cardigan, cute soft and pretty rose pearl underwear.

He didn’t need to get it closer to his face to smell it, it stinked with his girlfriend’s perfume. He didn’t need to check the size of it, because he knew it by heart. He didn’t need to question where he got it from because Levi already knew.

Morning before leaving to the former HQ of the scouts for their winter break, their winter break. Before the ball, before all the shit that went down. Her, his sweet baby girl, carrying on that cardboard bag on her elbow as she delivered Erwin’s breakfast. The cardboard bag with the clothes for the morning after the ball, the morning that was meant to happen but never did. The morning after everything was planned for them to lay together for the first time. That cardboard bag.

It hit him like a bulk of ice water. The simple thought of those ridiculously expensive clothes that his girlfriend wore lying there as a dirty secret made him want to throw up in range.

‘What do you do with her fucking clothes? you jerk off? you sniff them? to keep them as a last hope or a lost dream? you keep them… you keep my woman’s clothes. You, you who said you moved on, you who said that you just wanted her as friends’

Levi, who had plenty of sex but non relationships before this, was the only authorised to keep Y/N’s clothes aside from herself, obviously. Because those were her clothes in his place. He felt it possessing his body, the rage. The thought of his innocent angel talking to the blond and him observing her to keep memory for later on, later on when he may grab those stockings and stroke his dick with them.

‘if this was the underground…’  Levi said to himself ‘I would have cut your dick off and fed it to the dogs, then I would have made you bed for it,’

Levi gritted his teeth so hard that they began to make a crackly sound against themselves, painfully almost.

The anger was clouding his judgement, he knew that Erwin was much more than just his girl's ex and so that made the thought stop there… a mere thought. ‘We are not in the underground,’ Levi remind to himself. While down there taking matters into bloody hands was the norm, and the recommended if you wanted to keep your own head safe and send the message; Levi was smart enough to quiet himself down.

‘I need to be subtle like this surface assholes yet assertive’

He was quick to place everything right as it was, hide the crime scene and Levi had cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene. Once the door opened, he was just making the bed.

“You want tea?” Erwin's approach was friendly, perhaps happy that Levi was finally easing out between both.

“Sure”

His face was stoic as usual, the voice was monotone as it should be but the eyes. Erwin was a clever man and he noticed the change of attitude, those silver ones were aiming for blood.

“Everything alright?” the commander in line questioned.

“If by alright you mean the mess you have in this fucking place,” Levi replied and moved to the door of the room as he knew the tea was going to be at the office.

“Ah, sorry,” Erwin chuckled, slightly imprinting a ‘non-aggressive’ attitude.

‘Calm down, calm down,’ his head repeated ‘I had always liked to save the best bite for last, savour the taste,’

But the overwhelming feeling of foreign anger was a demon possession. Y/N was his first romantic partner and he had made it clear that she was the last one. Dealing with the necessity of making clear that something was ‘mine, mine and only mine’  and the overtaking greedy green demon of jealousy was something he wasn’t used to.

Especially since they were trying to keep it as a secret. Like an optical illusion that once you see it, you can’t undo it. Levi felt his trust in any aspect of the matter abandoned his rational side, Erwin wasn’t trustful around his girl. His girl. How his large hand would land on the bottom of her back as he squeezed to pass through on a tricky small corridor.

‘Why doesn’t he stuck his hand on his fucking asshole before touching her?”

Or the little tap on her shoulders as he appeared to reach for a book she was jumping for. Her pounding expression as he messed up with her height. The smile he gave her, the adoring eyes of a lost lover. Levi felt as if he was losing his mind.

“You alright?” Hange questioned, concerned next to him during dinner as he had dead eyes, that type of expression he usually saved to hunt titans outside of the walls.

“Yeah,” He quickly replied but the pressure his fingertips put against the palm of his hands wasn’t healthy or painless. They were walking back to the blond’s office, for more paperwork before his trip. Levi hadn’t even mentioned to her, he kept it to himself. But if he had to declare it to her, he would have say “I trust you! I don’t trust him,”

‘I can’t take the bag away, he will notice,’ Levi replayed the options in his head as his insomnia kept him up at his shared room in the male barracks.

The simple thought of those clothes pure as a white dove laying in Erwin’s personal chambers was driving him nuts. They smelled like innocence because that was what she was before Levi stepped in, and that innocence was something she gave up for him. It was his gift, Levi was the man that made her feel safe enough. Erwin had no right in keeping a little fragment of that innocence.

‘Maybe he forgot to give it back,’ His only rational size tried to fight back the overtaking of his soul  ‘Please, he had over half an year to give them back. Those clothes weren’t forgotten, they were laying perfectly saved and protected there. There were kept with love, with affection, with lust’

His memory recalled that time that someone dared to cut Isabel’s hair and how quick he was to kill them. ‘I’ve grown soft’

‘We are not in the underground anymore,’

He waited for his dessert patiently so the third day of Erwin’s absence, he insisted on delivering papers to his office. She was there, immaculate, and sat down on a chair that looked absurdly big for her. Y/N smiled brightly when he crossed the room, submerged in paperwork. Trying to give more than just her best performance, prove she was worthy of such responsibility.

“Hey there” her voice was soft and excited, it held the kind of feelings that being in love could only. It bothered him how much it made him tremble inside, getting her adoration gaze upon him.

“I made you tea,” Levi said as if the tray with it wasn’t enough information and then added “And more paperwork,”

She groaned a complaint and stood up, the chair was pushed backwards to hit the window on the back. Her slightly bending position over the desk as she tried to add perspective to the strategy plans that she was analysing. If she hadn't been so lost in her work, she would have noticed the lock click or the tray left at a side round table and not at the desk.

The pencil in her rosy lips moved from one side to the other as she studied the situation. The candle burned steady on the upper right corner and the window revealed the dark panorama of the training forest. It was late, late enough for cadets to be on curfew and superiors crawling back to their chambers.

“You’re getting yourself overwork, let him have some shit to do when he comes back,” Levi said. His finger brushed her hair out of the way, scooping it to her right side and making the hairs of her neck raise.

She hummed as Levi grabbed the sides of her hips and pushed them backwards, her cheeks resting on top of his groin as his fingers tried to feel the flesh of her thighs through the uniform.

“Oi, I’m talking to you,” He insisted as she kept her attention on the blueprints.

With the neck exposed he began to kiss and gently suck the sweet stop of it right where the jaw met the neck. Taking his time nibbling the left shoulder and the collarbone as his left hand left the hip and pushed the white shirt she was wearing to a side.

Her humble mixed with a repressed moan resonated, her hand trying to push the one that remained securing her hips,  “I’ve a lot to do,” was her first attempt to brush it off, “I need to focus, Levi,” she insisted.

His lips were persistent trailing her shoulders to her neck, as the nibbling became playful bites that made him dip his teeth slightly deeper.

She chuckled, “Stop it,” without any conviction in it. Her teeth pressured slightly on her bottom lip as she enjoyed the demanded attention from her lover. Levi’s sucking the tender parts made her escape a shy moan.

“Miss L/N? I’m retiring for the day,” a strong knock at the door of an office that wasn’t hers and the voice of a soldier on the other side made her come back to her senses.

“Sure, you’re dismissed from activities John,” She replied quickly readjusting her shirt, ashamed. Levi’s patronising hand didn’t leave her hips which made her turn around frowning seriously.

“Stop it, you’re insane if you think we will do anything here,” she whispered.

Y/N had hardly initiated anything before, her girlhood lost only a couple of months. Therefore Levi had always been the controlling one and, aside from his personal preferences, kept it vanilla. She was a little delicate Sina’s wall flower, unused to the rough handling and a taste made for sweets.

Levi’s pale slender finger tapped rhythmically the bones of her hips that he refused to let go and little could she do against his power. Thoughtful, he observed intensely making her pale. Silver piercing eyes in the search of any weakness.

She glazed around, “I-I don’t want to disobey him,”

Levi’s stoic expression remained outside, but he could feel his core burn with irritation. The mere thought of Erwin’s feelings or wishes holding privilege over him made him tutted.

“Oh,” a breathless mock, baring teeth as the clench of anger turned into a smirk. Levi allowed a chuckle to escape momentarily before humming “So it’s a matter of orders?”

The sudden change of attitude made her turn around completely, “Well yeah…” she hesitated “He’s… my future commander,”

The dark haired man frowned intensely, each word filled the fire that burned him from inside.

“No, no,” his voice was passive and quiet but deep. His movements were casual, as he raised a hand to touch his jaw, wondering or pretending that he did. Before the same hand grabbed her soft face, pressuring the cheeks together as his thumb caressed her lips. They began to turn so scarlet with blood rushing in. This thumb pushed her bottom lip down as he admired the inside without rush, he had all the time of the world.

The girl, on the other hand, timidly tried to remain still as her mind battled the idea of comprehending what was going on. 

“I’m the man you answer to, I own this pampered little body of yours,” Levi’s voice got authoritarian as it got firm, not excitement whatsoever as if he held all the power. Why the rush or the strength if he already knew who was in charge “If I say that we are fucking here, with me bending you over this polished desk so I can fuck you harsher and steadier than in a bed, to the point the only shit you can do is part your legs wider trying to fit me in that slutty tight cunt. The only possible answer from you is asking if I want my cock sucked first.”

“You’re getting it all wrong, sweetheart,” His voice was steady and patronising, as he was talking to a child. “He’s not your commander, he’s nothing of you and you’re all mine.”

The push on her chin to make the head bend downwards, forcing her eyes to look up.

She was in a complete blank state, Levi had never behaved like this before. But she felt her heart thudding, was all she could feel aside from the saliva accumulate. The thought that she may have been biting more than she could chew echoed at the distance. Her body filled with the stupidness of bravery, the shameless intrigued to know how far this could go. Poisoning curiosity clouded her judgement as Levi’s voice deepened with husk.

The only few inches that made Levi taller than her felt like feets. The strength that he showed off in the training grounds felt like completely put into the grip of her cheeks and this new version of him, that she wasn’t entirely sure from where it came from, was making her lose concentration. She had always liked Levi’s dominant nature, sure but this? She felt like she was a prey getting cornered as her aggressor wetted his lips to the thought of having her as a whole course meal.

Tired of pampered little daddy’s princess, it was time for her to learn how to please him properly. To take what he had to give and be grateful for it. They had spoiled her rotten, it was his duty to show her the place where she belonged. And that was keeping his cock wet and warm.

Words were trapped in her tight throat as her mind spinned around, trying to grasp the situation as Levi did her face. Hazily shy tongue tasted the salty feeling of the man’s thumb. The hash texture of the teeth under his digit, the velvet feeling of her tongue and the witness of her mouth around it. Enough to almost make him blush or smirk, no holding back, no anymore.

“Good girl,” Levi’s puffed heated whisper made her tremble.

Glittery eyes, the embarrassment was unfurling in her rosy cheeks. Ashamed of how much it made her feel tight and warm but yet as if there was a place inside her that wasn’t filled properly. The deepness and reassurance of his tone, she wanted to hear it forever. On repeat until it was the only word she knew.

The whiddraw of his finger, only to add two more. Index and middle pushing deeper as she voluntarily ran her tongue under them. Hollowing cheeks as the pulling sensation pushed Levi’s finger deeper. The spit filled her mouth as it got wider. The pressure those digits did against her tongue as they adventured deeper, pushing her jaw and tongue downwards as they curled at the end, forcing gag reflex. Her mental will of keep sucking as brushing her tongue against them filled her conviction despite the overwhelming feeling of throwing up. ‘His dick is bigger,’ the thought that kept her pushing forward as the man felt the spit of her lips against his knuckles, sometimes teeth nibbling slightly. 

“Good girl,” he repeated, “You want to impress me?”

She hummed a positive reply as her pressure intensified while Levi took them away slowly. Rubbing his fingers together, enjoying the moisture that made them glide easily. 

Taking a step behind, Levi sat down in Erwin’s English green chenille chair. Resting his weight on the pushed surface as if he carried on so much on his shoulders. Elbows on both sides as if he was waiting for entertainment. Knees parted, creating an outward tilt that made the bulge shine prideful as it strained against the tight white trousers.

It made her jolt in her body, the sight of it as if she would never get used to it. Seen it before but it was always as mesmerising as the first time. The candle was still burning on the desk. The window was as wide open behind the chair as Levi’s leg while he waited for service. The idea of anyone recognizing that there was still someone in Erwin’s office or, for goodness sake, Erwin coming back from the trip early made her tremble. Her bottom lip became a prisoner of her teeth as she still wondered how much of a good idea this was.

“You don’t call me that.” His deep frowned expression made her remain quiet “Call me commander,”

“Lev–”

“Commander, sir..” Her breaking voice as she tried to process whatever that was happening conceived him the pleasure of carrying on.

“What a good girl,” Levi breathed out, mocking how easy it was to make her obey. “Come here. Are you going to behave for me?”

Her body combusted, it felt tight and warm but empty. Her covered knees with the combat boots hit the carpet of the floor as she squeezed between the chair and the desk. Levi pondered the idea of calling someone, so they would come in and force her to gag on his dick as she kept sucking while he tugged her under the desk. ‘Maybe for another occasion,’

“I asked you a question,” Levi’s firm, demanding voice warned. His demeanour held the undertone of someone who won’t accept rebellion.

“Yes,sir- Commander, sir,” She quickly corrected, and it made a chuckle echo in his throat.

Whatever was the thing that possessed Levi was making her succumb to a situation that she truly didn’t comprehend but made her whole body feel in a way it had never done before. Her body ached with the need to take anything he offered, thank him for it and do her best to get a compliment for taking it so well.

The meat of his inner thighs felt trapped, he petted himself through his uniform pants, lazily as his body rested on the cushioned surface.

“Make me happy, do your job,” Levi ordered with his voice dying from husk. She was reluctant at first, it felt wrong that it was someone else's place. It even smelled like someone else. Levi dedicated her his undivided attention as he frowned deeply.

“Do I’ve to do all the fucking work?” Levi complained under his breath as he sighted. Pale hands quickly unbuckled his belt, then he raised slightly from his place, just to push the leather off completely and let it rest on the desk.

A short hiss quicked his breath and then he sighted, as he unbuttoned the front of his pants and dragged down the zip. His hand reached for his cock as it shifted to the contact and then pulled out.

Y/N glazed up to him, trying to find the conviction. The fear of being seen from the training ground while sucking her boyfriend’s dick at someone else's office was something hard to forget. His finger’s run through her hair before gripping it in a handful made ponytail. Strands of hair tangled with his pale fingers as he pushed her face close to him.

“C’mon. Behave..” Levi breathed out as his other hand tugged his own pants off down his thighs and grabbed his dick from the bottom. 

Gripping tightly the strands, making her his as he pushed her closer. Shiny curious eyes getting closer to his cock as she didn’t push away anymore, her breath ghosted against it. The difference of temperature of his warm shaft made him want to buck his hips against it.

Yn’s mouthered herself as he lazily did one, two jerks to push down the foreskin to reveal the flushed deep red tip. The side thick vein shined proudly as he pressured near the sack and then raised up to pressure the slit. Her rosy lips parted to give it a timid kiss before flatly running her tongue against it, giving it a particular harsh suck to that throbbing vein. Closed eyes before they opened lazily to look through her eyelashes with lidded eyes. 

Levi’s breath stuck on his throat as she got him wet enough to engulf him soon. “Yeah, just like that, as I taught you,” Levi growled as he remembered that those lips had only been corrupted by him. She was getting better and he could tell. By the grip of his made ponytail, he pushed himself down her throat, quickly and aggressively.

No time, no patience. He did another tug and forced more of himself deep down her throat. Enjoying the warm and the wet as he groaned echoing in the empty room. The idea that he had been training her to take him exactly as he liked him, drove him nuts.

The girl choked a noise as her eyes tear up, relaxed her jaw to take him deeper as Levi forced her head still while his hips rocked forward.

His hissing reaction to each time he drove deeper into the engulfing wetness that dripped from the corner of her stretched rosy lips. “Fuck, suck harder. I taught you how to suck a dick, didn’t I?”

‘I’m trying!’ she wanted to say but Levi was so thick, so heavily against her tongue and he wasn’t yet all the way. The tip hitted the back of her throat each time he trusted forward. If she hollowed her cheeks, she would gag more on the spit. It would have been easier to run her tongue as he pushed in if she wasn’t fighting to slack her jaw trying to fit him.

The wet glide produced obscene loud noises as it sliced Levi’s cock.

“This view is mine only mine,” Levi moaned as he observed her face contouring, eyebrows drawn together as she tried to fit him all in.

Y/n’s also glazed up to look between heavy lids Levi undo in front of her, dusty cheeks, frowned expression and nor particularly of pain, groans resonating in his throat as his dick hit his throat. She gagged, hopefully, as he hissed before letting his head fall back. It was ridiculous how much he was enjoying it. The wet lovely noises before her gag as he forced her head to bob down on him filling the office. He liked it so much that he moaned while painfully gripping her hair.

He tugged her off, impossible pumpled red lips fighting for oxygen as she was breathless. Dizzy on arousal and in confusion. Watery eyes looking up to him and he commanded “open up,”

Reflective pinky tongue out as it was covered in glistering saliva, flat exposed as Levi hollowed his pale cheeks. Gathering moisture and with a loud sound, let the spit hit her mouth.

“Swallow,” and she obeyed, at this rate not questioning much. “Open up,” he breathed and smirked at the clean surface, ready for him to ruin again. “You’re a fast learner,”

Re-adjusting his position. Without warning, his firm grip that pushed her off, forced her back on his cock. Easily slipping in, she put all her back into it. Each time an inch deeper, a harsher pressure and moved more her tongue as they got a pleasant rhythm.

“Fuck, yeah. Just like that, love. Use your tongue more,” Levi seemed to have lost all inhibitions and he began to succumb to the pet names. All she could do was whimper around it and dipping into Levi’s thighs for balance.

Seeing him come undone was marvellous, it filled her pride. Maybe he was the one in command but her mouth delivered so much pleasure that he was head slackened against the chair, hissing in need, was beyond comparison. Maybe those previous underground chicks were naturally better but Levi became insane around her, always wanting more, always ready to break another rule for the sake of having her.

Hm her throat groaning warned him when he had pushed her all the way down, her nose against the dark hairs tingling against her nose, drooling down her chin as the spit turned thicker and sticker. Deeping her nails on his legs, patting out heavily of her nose.

Handful of kick breath as she her throat pushed Levi’s head past it “Shallow, shallow all of it,”

No more resting on the chair, curved for a better view as he tighten the grip to fuck fastly her flusterring throat. Tears merciless crossed her cheeks as she jerked and turned impossible red trying to fit it all.

“That’s it, fuck.” his breathing quickling as his voice was covered in necessity and arousal “You’re taking it so well, so fucking well,”

‘Oh that’s it,’ who needs oxygen when humanity’s strongest soldier is loudly moaning how good you take it. There was no instinct of survival, as she took all of it, felt deeper each time and drooled over his hips. The burning sensation each time that he went balls deep and the prideness of taking each inch.

Sobbing as it becomes too much at some point. She wasn’t sure what was wetting her face, her tears of her split as her hazy brain fighted for survival. Her knees hurted from the strength of not falling backwards from the trust of his hips.

“Fuck, yes yes,” Levi was in his own world, scratching the desk chair that didn’t belong to him. Staining with dark spots the chenille  each time that he drove to abused that hole “Fucking shit,”

At this rate, she wasn’t even trying to not gag to reduce the chances of someone hearing. She couldn’t take it anymore, too much. Her lungs hurted as her hand pinched his thighs, patted them. Anything that would make Levi erase the grip. Finally free, Yn rested one hand on the floor as she caught her breath.

“God…” she hissed dizzy, coughing as their ragged breath filled the place. Levi took a brief moment to observe her down, quickly catching his breath before raising from the chair to grab something from the desk. 

Piercing grey eyes looking into her demanding, squeezing her cheeks together. Forcing dewy eyes to look back at him with tears on the corners, glimmering gems looking into his. ‘What a pretty little sight,’ He was the only one he had seen it, and he was going to make sure it remained that way.

“Whose whore are you?”

“Y-yours,”

“Whose?”

“Yours,” this time with conviction, making him sight contented.

“Get up, I’m not done with you,” Levi growled.

Tugging from her forearm, obligated her to raise up by placing a hand on the carpet. Warm red cheek against the cold surface of the desk, hands pinned on the back. Levi’s cold hand made the hairs of her neck raise as he pushed the shirt and jacket up her back as far as they could go. Hot tongue tracing up her tailbone as he travelled the exposed skin.

It took all her self control to not moan under the minimum touch, she had been feeling dripping since the moment she decided to thoughtlessly invest in this idea and finally the attention was back on her. Hips pushing hard against hers as he humped her clothed ass, enjoying the pressure and squishing her against the desk.

Persistent lips sucked the crock of her neck a couple of times before straightening up. Palm of his hand on the bottom of her back. Pupils going thin as he remembered the owner of the office touching that place. Levi sighed breathless as he admired the view, her timid arousal eyes looking at him from the corners as he gave another good push with his hips, trapping her against the table. Soft moan as he shoved her promptly onto the table.

Levi wished she would be wearing a skirt, it would make it so much easier. Cursed under his breath the uniform tight pants.

“W-what is that?” She quickly questioned as he grabbed her hands and tight them together with his own belt, quite painful.

“This,” Levi bended to hower on top of her, to whisper “is for making me so fucking jealous,”

She could feel the bruises happening, not only around her wrists but on her hips as Levi gripped them with such strength as his teeth clenched. 

Pelvis pressing against hers “Levi,” Yn gasped enjoying the friction but it was getting too much to handle. The moisture between her legs was getting uncomfortable as she needed something, anything, to fill her up.

Strong tug from her hair, pushing part of her upper body up and mixing her pleasurable necessity with arousing pain.

“I think we had already agreed it was commander, cadet,” Levi gritted his teeth.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry commander-” Y/n hissed in pain and then her face fell into the cold surface again, breath clouding the polish surface as her lungs ragged. Slightly shaking to the sides, trying to win back his interest and finally allow her some relief.

Undoing her belt and pulling down the pants, they reached far enough to her knees. The boots would make it impossible to take them off completely, the tingling sound of the buckle moving as her legs parted trying to fit him between them better. Biting the inner part of her cheeks with the molars, patiently waiting for him to finally rampage inside her.

Levi was taking his time, lazily jerking his hard cock as he admired the views. Pert, round ass and youngful beautiful legs that shined with her wetness that runned known from her neediness. It made him bite his bottom lip, thumb parting her inner fingers without touching her clit. If she was coming, it was from his cock only.

Tight little hole, he had been using it non stop the last couple of months and yet, it still looked so small. Gripping her ass, pushing it to the side to admire it better. Fingers kneading the meat to his heart content, full display only for him. ‘I’m getting that damn Captain promotion just for this, my own desk to ramble her every fucking day,’

She couldn’t take it anymore, feeling the tip of his head running up and down her folds, collecting her slick, but not getting close to her enter and neither to her clit. .

“Commander, please. Please-”

“How pretty is it when you beg,” Levi murmured holding his shaft as it leaked an ooze of precum with excited “Beg me more, princess,”

“Please, I really need you inside-”

“Oh you can do much better than that.”

Planting her forehead on the desk, sucking her bottom lip harshly as she got exasperated. She couldn't touch him, she couldn’t see him, she could barely feel him as he refused to get near the good places with his dick. Legs trembling in anticipation “Sir, please. I’m begging, fill me up until all I can feel is your dick pointing me to the point it hurts,”

His sinister chuckle as the words would have been impossible to come from her lips a few months ago when she was still an innocent girl, now she sobbed for him.

“I wish he could see you. Hungry little slut for my cock,” Levi grunted as he pressed the head against her enter and trusted himself aggressively.

Red bruised lips from biting parted soundless as she pulsed around him. It felt as if he was in her throat. It felt too much to handle but he didn’t wait for her to adjust, not this time. His right hand on her neck, forcing her head back down and imprisoned her. She felt the need to push away but the desk made sure there was nowhere to run. 

Air hissed through his clenched teeth as Levi drowned his eyebrows together, it was a heavenly warm and tight encompass. Despite the grip on her hands, keeping them together, her knuckles paled as she pressed her fingers into her palms. The feeling of her cunt being abruptly filled, her legs trying to part more in vain to fit him better. She could feel Levi press and pull against her walls, it was overwhelmingly good that she swore she was sobbing.

Her moans began to mix with Levi’s groaning as he gravitated and rocked his hips. Moving himself steadily, trying to fully make his wave the tight place. Levi hissed breathy as she tugged his cock in all the right places.

Quickly, despite feeling his hips against hers, buried to the hilt and satisfied groans living his mouth, he didn’t wait. Slowly pulling out, her legs backed up of how painfully slow it was before rambling back on it. Slamming himself with no restriction, stood up properly to repeat the action.

Jaw tightening up as his teeth clenched “fucking shit, yeah, that’s it. Open up,” sighed as he enjoyed every minute.

“Commander-” her voice soft as a plea to then wheezed incoherent moans that filled the room. It felt too much, Levi bottoming each time, pistoning her hips.

“This fucking hole was made for me,” Levi pushed Yn’s cheeks apart as he gritted “I could barely fit my fingers before and look at that, now your cunt is sucking me in so nicely. Doesn’t want to let me go. Do you feel me rearranging your guts? It’s taking my fucking shape”

Levi had always had a dirty mouth but hearing him talk like that felt too much. Each time that he went balls it, it hit all the nice places. It was overwhelmed, to the point that all she could do was just slacken against the desk. Sobbing in pleasure how good it felt, she kept teething over the edge of coming but it kept building up.

“Are you crying because it feels good?” Levi pulled out completely, making her gasp loudly and watching the slick still connecting them.

“Ah…” She breathed, unable to perform any actual word and her legs shaking. Gladly she was that the desk was doing all the support, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to hold herself up.

Grabbing her neck and using it as support as he smacked back in with a loud wet smack. Bending over, whispering “or because I’m fucking you in Erwin’s desk as some cheap corner whore?”

“Commander-” Yn weeped as she gritted her teeth, feeling the pressure of Levi’s hand on her neck and the other on running up and down on her body before painfully grabbing her hips again.

“You’re fucking dripping, you enjoy it Don’t you? You get off by me treating you for what you’re, just some tight cunt for me to use? Wait until you see his face when he notices the stains on the carpet,” Levi growled, getting himself excited.

“Ah-” She cried, trying to part her hips wider in vain, restricted by the uniform. Levi raised his right knee to the desk, to shift the angle and go deeper, if it was even possible.

The orgasm was foreshadowed. She came, muffling her cries the best she could so the rest wouldn’t hear, the bricks were thick but not that much. Pulsing against him as she cried overwhelmed. Levi wasn’t stopping.

“Ah- Fuck,” He moaned feeling the sudden walls sucking him so nicely.

“Tell me how much you love it.” no waiting, only unstoppable necessity of more. The desk shaked under the power and the blue-prints with the stressing paperwork falling from it. The candle falling and, luckily, turning off. Leaving them in the dim of the night.

“I-I love it, it’s so good. I love your cock-” Bumbling and sighting out. She didn’t even know what else he wanted from her, she couldn’t even feel her arms or her legs from knees down at this point. Head turning to the side, trying to catch some fresh air. Desk fogging with her rushed puffs.

“Ah- Ah-Ah” little noises escaping her lips as she felt coming again, jolting her body as Levi didn’t seem to have intentions to stop but the rhythm getting chaotic. Without lights all she could feel was the permanent presence of his hand on her neck, keeping her in place.

“I’m gonna breed you properly, so anyone can know to who you fucking belonged to,” Levi muffed out, hitting deeper and rougher each time. If it was even possible. The head of his cock met her cervix each time as he got carried away, dangerously.

“Fucking hell, yes” Levi gritted his teeth, succumbing to a muffle mix of swearing as he reached the end. Head throwing back as he lost any rhythm and inhibition. 

“Levi…” forgetting the formalities and saying his name. The fingers of her feet contorning in pleasure, her hands tugging from the belt, arching her back and squirmed.

The not yet captain pressed as deep as he could, as his dick twitched and unloading himself inside. Laying on top of her back as both tried to regulate their breath, resting his chin on her shoulder as he admired her dizzily state and her features covered in wetness, from tears, spit or the sweat. He waited there until he finished working himself out.

“Stay still,” he groaned, raw voice after all what happened, straightening up. Both hissing as he withdrew his softening dick.

She attempted to look over her shoulder but she couldn’t even phantom the idea of gathering the energy for that. All that she could hear was Levi’s humming as he pushed her cheeks apart. Thumb gently massaging the hole as it began to leak his cum.

Then something began to clean her up as he kept prying open to see it all out.

“So pretty,” he murmured, mostly to himself.

All she could do was lay there limp, gasping for air or for her consciousness. It was so dark when she finally opened her eyes again. He was gently tugging her from her arms, soft quiet touch nothing compared to before.

“Do you want a shower?” He offered, knowing that they could take advantage of staying in the private chambers. After all, it was almost a suicide mission trying to leave the higher ranks’s building at the middle of the night without getting caught.

Not entirely sure how but Levi had manoeuvred both of them to be cuddling against the chair, playing with her hair.

Sleepy hummed a negative replied “I can’t feel my legs… neither my hands,”

“Oh yeah…” he undid the grip but she hissed loudly now down from the high, noticing the deep marks around her wrist.

“What the fuck happened to you?” She questioned once she felt her regular partner was back.

“I got carried away,” was all he murmured.

“It’s my fertile week, you said we weren’t going to sleep together these days,”

“I got carried away,” he repeated uninterested in going into details.

She fell asleep at some point and he allowed her. Carefully as a mother that puts a kid on the crip, Levi slided her body off from his. He cleaned the papers, picked up the blue-prints, and turned off all the candles. The place was right as it was before they came in, except from one thing.

The uncomfortable silence as both pondered over the recent activities “... how am I supposed to look at Erwin’s face after this?”

Levi didn’t reply right away, chuckled dryly and said “well better for you, less neck pain from looking up,”

Pale finger reaching across the wardrobe, pulling out the pink ribbon bag and opening it. He admired the lingerie with what he had cleaned up his own load off. It was pristine before he stole it a couple of days ago and now it was stained with him. As so was her. He could help it to grimace as he folded it and put it between the clothes.

‘I’m fucking insane,’ he thought with no remorse. However, Levi was sure that if the blond found out, he wouldn’t bring it around. It was either admitting that he had kept his ex clothes or both pretending this never happened. As the future captain was getting to know the Commander in line… he bet that this was the last time he was going to hear from this.

Perhaps this was the last time he could let his inner sassy thug shine through until he had to shut it down to behave as a proper leader. Then when the blond came back, they crossed pathways in the corridors.

“I cleaned your office. You live in a pig’s shit,” Levi casually commented.

The tall man smiled “Thank you, I appreciate it,”

Humming positive as the former thug slowly kept his stroll in the opposite direction but stopped midway “Oi,”

Both man looked over their shoulder to see what the other had to say, Levi casually dropped “I also put stoppers to your desk, that shit moves a lot,”

The blond frowned, Levi stoically turned back and kept going as if he had said nothing. It took all his will power to not smirk on his way down to the mess hall.

#levi ackerman #levi #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #captain levi #levi aot #snk levi #snk #attack on titans #levi x reader #levi x y/n #aot levi #snk levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackeman #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin levi #captain levi ackerman x you #captain levi x reader #captian levi x reader #captain levi fanfiction #captain levi ackerman x reader #captain levi ackerman x y/n #captain levi ackerman fic #captain levi x you #levi art #levi fanart #levi shingeki no kyojin #levi x you

[venusin-aries]

Anti’s coming into the Gwyneth Berdara tag and accusing Gwynriel’s of the mischaracterization of Gwyn or only liking Gwyn because of Gwynriel is fucking LAUGHABLE. 

All I've seen are posts singing praises about Gwyn (just Gwyn!) and I have NOT ONCE seen a Gwynriel shipper characterize Gwyn wrongly.

What are we mischaracterizing her for? 

Being brave as fuck for choosing to train to be a Valkyrie? Nesta’s admiration and fondness of her? For saying she’s resilient for being able to enjoy herself and laugh with her friends after experiencing some fucked up shit? THAT SHE'S LIKABLE?? Being strategic and patient FOR DAYS and spying on the Illaryian males before sending the beasts after them ruthlessly? Being smart and witty? Her interests in sex and smut and stating she doesn’t want to be coddled? Her willingness to sacrifice herself on the bridge? Her determination to finish the blood rite even though she was injured as fuck? Her unwavering loyalty toward Nesta and Emerie? That Nesta thinks her beauty is comparable to Mor and Merrill?

The fact that she’s not judgemental and she immediately accepted Nesta when they were sharing their stories? Her own struggle with guilt and self hate? Her immediately witnessing what Azriel is capable of when they first met? Azriel’s shadows reacting POSITIVELY towards her and yeah, the thought of her joy glowing in his chest? That she teases him and challenges him? That she hasn't seen him torture someone yet but she's seen worse shit soooo why would she be fazed??

She's canonly more suitable for Azriel than anybody else in the series and THAT'S why people dislike her as a character even though on her own she's a great character.

Those are only SOME of her positives we got in ONE book. Notice, some of those positives include Azriel, but most don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

Allllllll of those points have textual evidence to support them. And these are allllllll the points Gwynriel shippers love to make about her. 

The only charactization of her anti’s will accept is if she goes back to the library, stays there and is never seen or heard of in canon again. Or if she’s evil which she’s likely not going to be. Stop being so petty. If anything SJM has her set up for a HEALING journey. 

However some people obviously like to see a female character STAY broken and let her trauma define her.

Getting mad when she's so obviously such a fun character? She has fun and laughs and teases her friends and Cassian and Azriel and enjoys herself but there's something wrong with that and you think its annoying????

Fanon Gwyn and Canon Gwyn are basically the same. If you don’t like fanon Gwyn, you probably don’t like canon Gwyn and that’s fine, whatever, I think you have totally shit taste but whatever just STAY OUT OF THE GWYNETH BERDARA TAG.

I see the shit ya'll tag and then delete.

I’m a Gwyn stan first and foremost but I have not seen one single other Gwynriel shipper mischaracterize her. 

Fanon is fun until it melts your brain and you start believing ONLY fanon and wrongly remembering canon and then attacking others for using canon to support their points. 

It’s crazy to me that anti’s can dislike a fictional character so much that the idea of potentially seeing more of said character in the canon universe and getting more fandom love honestly upsets them.

Like holy shit, I don’t like E/riel, but I have enough tact not to take that out on either Elain OR Azriel. And I don’t go looking to start shit with shippers because I'm not pathetic. Too bad some people can’t extend that same class to Gwyn. 

Also, I feel like some people forget about this fucking scene. 

Gwyn studied Ramiel's craggy, unforgiving slope. Not much snow graced its sides. Like the wind had whipped it all away. Or the storms had avoided its peak entirely. “Is it living, though? To take the safe road?”

“You’re the one who's been living in a library for two years,” Emerie said.

Gwyn didn't flinch. “I have. And I am tired of it.” She surveyed the blood-soaked leather along her thigh. “I don't want to take the safe road.” She pointed to the mountain, to the slender path upward. “I want to take that road.” Her voice thickened. “I want to take the road that no one dares travel, and I want to travel it with you two. No matter what may befall us. Not as Illyrians, not for their titles, but as something new. To prove to them, to everyone, that something new and different might triumph over their rules and restrictions.”

A cold wind blew off Ramiel's sides. 

Whispering, murmuring.

“They call this climb the Breaking for a reason,”Emerie countered gravely.

Nesta added, “Wehaven't eaten in days. We're down to the last of our water. To climb that mountain-“

“I have been broken once before,” Gwyn said, her voice clear. “I survived it. And I will not be broken again- not even by this mountain.”

Look at me and tell me this is a character we’ll never hear from again. Go right a fucking head. 

You can't come into the Gwyneth Berdara tag claiming we mischaracterize her. We take her as is. No need to pick her apart or give her little unnecessary traits to fit her better with any one.

It's not possible to make her out to be something she's not when every little thing we love about her is canon.

You can be salty over us comparing Bryce/Hunt and Azriel/Gwyn but oh wait! SJM uses similar language to describe them ON PURPOSE in canon as fucking well!!!

On purpose.

In fucking canon.

But we’re reaching.

Do not come into the Gwyneth Berdara tag and say Gwynriel’s make it hard to like her but oh, you do like her you do! And then go on to say she’s nothing more special than a Valkyrie or Nesta’s friend. Yeah, I fucking saw that shit.

People are weirdly jealous over a ship/inspiring character a lot of people relate to.

Gwyn is not stealing Azriel from any one because there’s NO ONE to steal him from.

These character's are fake but the hate and vitriol ya'll are spewing at people who like her are very real.

Just stay out of the Gwyneth Berdara tag if you don't like her.

#gwyneth berdara #gwyn berdara #gwynriel #pro gwynriel #azriel x gwyn #gwyn x azriel #pro gwyneth berdara #acotar #acosf #I probably have more to add but I'm blanking #Oh its a long boy #but coming into the Gwyneth Berdara tag and being a dumb bitch is a choice #also this is probably a mess but oh well

[cerastes]

'stultifera navis' is a reference? I mean, when I saw people going "oh it means stupid boat" figured that that wasn't *quite* the whole story but no one's explained what else it means.

You know how we are intimately familiar with Plato's Allegory of the Cave?

This thing? Alright, so Plato didn't make just one allegory. Plato's Allegory of the Cave comes from Plato's "Republic", specifically Book VII. In Book VI, one can find the Allegory of the Ship of Fools. Long story short, the allegory's intent is to represent the problems of leadership and governance in a political system where the key figures aren't chosen based on expert knowledge, but rather, other things altogether ('divine right' is a good example).

Now, with this in mind, we talk about Stultifera Navis, a satirical allegory from 1494 by one Sebastian Brant, a German humanist. It's other title is Daß Narrenschyff ad Narragoniam, in medieval German, all meaning the same: "Ship of Fools". It's worth noting that the Ship of Fools was a popular concept in this era, much like the internet really likes the Allegory of the Cave! Humanity has always been the same in some regards.

Brant's Stultifera Navis was about a fleet, the Fleet of Fools, bound for the Paradise of Fools and, without getting too into it, because it's a decently long read consisting of over one hundred brief satires, it serves as a criticism towards the Christian Church and how it was, largely, a mangle of underqualified fools not only having WAY too much agency in the lives of WAY too many people, but also, it was driving itself in such a hilariously self-destructive manner that it eventually sinking was practically inevitable. Brant creates a character, the Saint Grobian, whom Brant made into the patron saint of vulgar and crass people, so not only was he making a whole book with over 100 little stories about how much a dumbass collective the Church was, he also got spicy and threw in his own OC, Grobian the Hedgehog, the worst and shittiest of them all, and the one that codified the Church most closely.

Now, you may be thinking, "Hey, did Brant get fucking burned at the cross for this or something? Wasn't criticism of the Church the leading cause of death back in those days right after being invaded by Church for no reason?". Well, there was a SPECIAL JUTSU you could use back in the day, one that rendered you naught but a little birthday guy that couldn't be killed for criticism: Employing the voice of the fool. Y'see, Court Fools were allowed to say whatever they wanted, because they were court fools, and this little loophole allowed certain figures of the time, like Desiderius Erasmus, to criticize the Church openly, as he did in "The Praise of Folly", and when the Churchboyz came to his house with pikes and broadswords, demanding he step right out to they could eviscerate him for the SIN of speaking ill against Our Most Righteous, Loving, And Considerate Of Institutions, The Holy Church Itself, Erasmus threw his arms up in mock surrender and yelled "I'm just a little fool! The work was written from the voice and perspective of but a fool! I'm just a birthday fool! Come on, man, don't get so mad!" and then the Churchboyz, smoldering in white blistering ire, sheathed their arsenal and walked away FUMING because he was now impervious to Christblasts.

Well, Brant used the same jutsu, as the book is Entirely about Fools, he claimed it was just the fools talking, ergo, it's not what he REALLY thought, ok? Just some food for thought, a little what if, no need to get so spicy over a WORK OF FICTION. So the Church harrumphed and hmppphroomed their way home, stomping their feet all the way through because AGAIN they couldn't execute someone for their (alleged) opinion.

Now, moving to the Arknights' Stultifera Navis, given how much the event shows the longing for the Iberian Golden Age, and very much states how impossible it is to go back to those days, simply because, one, the world has changed to something that would never again sustain this Iberian Golden Age, and two, the 'Golden Age' in itself was built upon the systematic oppression and suffering of others, ranging from the Aegir persecuted within the Iberian lands to the Victorians and Bolivars raided and pillaged outside the Iberian borders, and it was the selfsame greed, close-mindedness and ignorance of Iberia that led to its natural end. The Inquisition is very much a Ship of Fools: Guided by old relics, fueled by archaic and obsolete beliefs, it's bound to collapse under its own weight. Saint Carmen himself is the perfect representation of the Inquisition: Tired, old, full of regrets, putting a strong front, yet completely ravaged and exhausted, his life artificially prolonged well past the natural lifespan of a Liberi, guided by ostensibly good intentions and yet adhering to principles that necessarily involve the oppression of certain people in order to exist. I wouldn't say Saint Carmen and Saint Grobian are one and the same, but you can't help but see some similarity. Patron saint of the vulgar and crass indeed.

The allegory also extends to Aegir to some degree as well, but we don't have the full picture just yet. Stultifera Navis does suggest that Aegir Beefed It to some degree as well, and not a minor beef, either.

Notably, Laurentina defies the trope: Her recovery stems in part to having let go of her "Golden Age": The times when she could have pursued her passions as a sculptor, the times when she happily hunted away with her fellow Hunters in the 2nd Company, the times when she didn't have a country's worth of Super Death Rock Cancer Juice in her spine, the entire swath of time she lost due to having been replaced by 'Specter', the time when she was blissfully unaware of her Seaborn blood, she makes it clear to Amaia: She's fully aware that all of these things are irrevocably lost, and that that's fine, she's got the present and the future still. She misses that Golden Age of her life, but doesn't agonize over it, she simply has to make a new Golden Age, comprised of other, unknown, exciting things, in the future.

Sometimes, you don't need to think too hard about it. Just tear apart what's in front of you, and move forward. She is not a crewmember of the Ship of Fools.

There's a few more comparisons and connections you can draw between the Allegory of the Ship of Fools and Arknights' Stultifera Navis, but I think the point has been made!

#biggaybunny #arknights #stultifera navis #specter

[mikasasrippedtoenail]

The Plight of Indian Widows

A woman's dignity is not her own possession. Her life is at the mercy of men around her. She is a commodity to be owned and sold first by her father then her husband. Her entire existence is tied to her servitude to those around her. After giving so much to the world, there is little life left inside of her. Yet, the world still demands her forfeit of this little life after the death of her husband. In India, a woman was expected to burn herself alive in the holy pyre of her husband's body as a show of loyalty in a practice called Sati that was outlawed in 1929(yet it is still rampant today in many rural parts of India).

With her husband no more, she must have no reason to live.Widowhood is the harbringer of acute discrimination for women in South Asia. Widows are ostracized by society and shunned by their family to live a destitute life in "Vidhwa Ashrams". Even the shadow of a widow was believed to inflict depredation and brought. They are called witches and man-eaters. They are forbidden from wearing anything but white clothes and are expected to practice strict abstinence. Widows in Afghanistan are called besarparast, meaning "household without a head". It is customary for a woman to shave off her head to appear undesirable. Her sexuality is confined, her needs and wants must die alongside her husband. Widow remarriage-although legal- is deeply stigmatized as a grave sin.

Widows are not considered to be a part of society. They can neither celebrate festivals nor travel without a religious purpose. In some extreme cases, they are made to drink the bathwater of their husbands’ dead bodies and have unprotected sex to "cleanse themselves of the sin of causing their husbands" death. Young widows also fall prey to the leering eyes of men. Child brides especially are prone to fall victim to manipulation by people around them. Men consider that since marriage has taken away her "innocence", she can now be sexually exploited.

Barring a few states, married women cannot inherit their husband's property. This lack of financial stability is the root cause of their exploitation. Most husbands leave their wives penniless. What little savings he might have had are spent on funeral rites. Relatives do not want to support her financially, considering her children and herself as excess baggage. Her parents also close the doors on her face for it is often said - "only a woman's dead body should come out of her husband's house."

This new found vulnerability makes her an easy prey for prostitution. A primary form of survival for widows is to sell their body through pimps. However, in most ashrams, they are forced to perform sexual favours by the heads of the ashram to gain money. The heads use their political power to silence the widows from raising their voice against this rape. With nowhere else to go, this cycle continues. The widows who get pregnant from this rape are "mauled by quacks for a painfully searing abortion and If that’s not done, then they would have an extra mouth to feed and an extra pair of hands to beg."

As of today, India is the abode of 42 million widows-a social class that is woefully exploited. Widows are often forced to dedicate the remaining parts of their lives to their religion. They must have no desires or wants except singing the God's praise. Widowhood for most women marks the death of their happines and social life. Although with changing times the attitude towards widows is turning positive, it is the bitter truth that the condition of widows from orthodox regions live a terrible life.

Laws protecting women are scarce- let alone widows. In India, widows are considered to be the class 1 heirs of ancestral properties. However, most of them are uneducated and unaware of the laws surrounding them. They are easily manipulated by relatives to give up their rights to the property. As for self acquired property, most men do not mention the name of their wives in their wills. After 2005, women alive on december, 2005 have a right over their father's ancestral property alongside their brothers. One must not forget that women inheriting property is still not socially acceptable in India and women who recieve property are few and far between.

To uplift widows, one must make them aware of the rights around them. Government and local NGOs should work together to organize awareness campaigns on the rights of widows. Women without capital left behind by their husbands should get a monthly stipend. "Vidhwa Ashrams" should be heavily regulated. More so, the social stigma shrouding widows must be removed. Treatment of women belonging to marginalized communities are a reflection of how dire the situation of women's rights are in India. Opening women owned women only shelters is the prime solution for the upliftment of women.

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists do touch #terfsafe #radical feminist safe #trans exclusionary radical feminist #female seperatism #women are the superior sex #widows #india #Patriarchy #male violence #male privilege #sexism #gender roles #womens rights

[mariacallous]

Alabama Chief Justice Tom Parker, who wrote the concurring opinion in last week’s explosive Alabama Supreme Court ruling that frozen embryos have the same rights as living children, recently appeared on a show hosted by self-anointed “prophet” and QAnon conspiracy theorist.

Parker was the featured guest on “Someone You Should Know,” hosted by Johnny Enlow, a Christian nationalist influencer and devoted supporter of former President Donald Trump. Over the course of an 11-minute interview, Parker articulated a theocratic worldview at odds with a functioning, pluralistic society.

“God created government,” he told Enlow, adding that it’s “heartbreaking” that “we have let it go into the possession of others.”

Media Matters, the liberal media watchdog group, was the first to report on Parker’s appearance on the program.

That a state’s chief Supreme Court justice would associate himself with Enlow is a cause for alarm. Enlow is a prolific conspiracy theorist, often weaving QAnon apocrypha with prophecies he claims to receive directly from God.

As reported by Right Wing Watch, Enlow has claimed that Trump “is on assignment” from God to work with the angels Michael and Gabriel to take down George Soros and Bill Gates, among others; he has claimed that Russian President Vladamir Putin is fighting “Luciferian pedophiles” in Ukraine, in a battle to stop them from deploying vaccines and 5G that would turn people into transhumanist semi-robots; and he has claimed that the majority of other world leaders are “satanic” pedophiles who “steal blood” and “do sacrifices.”

Enlow’s interview with Parker was uploaded to Rumble, the alt-tech video platform, on the same day the Alabama Supreme Court issued its opinion that sent shockwaves throughout the reproductive rights community. The ruling, which makes fertility clinics liable in wrongful death lawsuits for harming or destroying an embryo, has already imperiled access to in vitro fertilization (IVF) in the state.

“Human life cannot be wrongfully destroyed without incurring the wrath of a holy God,” wrote Parker, a longtime anti-abortion advocate sometimes credited with building the legal framework to overturn Roe v. Wade. “Even before birth,” Parker added, “all human beings have the image of God, and their lives cannot be destroyed without effacing his glory.”

Parker used similar theological language in his interview with Enlow, thanking Enlow for promoting the “Seven Mountains” on his show. As HuffPost has reported before, the “Seven Mountains Mandate” is a doctrine at the core of the New Apostolic Reformation, an evangelical movement that believes in the supernatural, including the existence of modern-day apostles and prophets, and which is characterized by a belief in Christian dominionism. The Seven Mountains Mandate is the belief that Christians must conquer the “seven mountains” of societal influence — education, media, religion, family, business, entertainment and government — and force fundamentalist Christian values onto every part of American life, in order to pave the path for Christ’s return.

“As you’ve emphasized in the past, we’ve abandoned those Seven Mountains and they’ve been occupied by the opposite side,” Parker told Enlow, suggesting the chief justice is familiar with Enlow’s show. Enlow is a big proponent of the Seven Mountains Mandate, and maintains a far-right website with his wife called “Restore Seven.”

Parker also told Enlow that God is “equipping me with something for the very specific situation that I’m facing” as the Alabama chief justice.

Enlow, as noted by Media Matters, praised Parker and appeared mindful of not dragging the judge into even more controversial topics. He told Parker that he’s “in such a key place that we don’t want to have any conversations that hurt you in any kind of way, but we appreciate who you are, who you are in the kingdom.”

[frozenlight-gvf]

I Hope You're Grateful for It

summary: (dom!josh x fem!reader) interrupting josh's pre-show ritual leads to some angry fuckin... enjoy

word count: 4.3k

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI— language, degradation/praise, unprotected sex (don't do it folks), teasing, self-pleasure, penetration (f!receiving), overstimulation, semi-public sex if you squint...?

a/n: i was *inspired* by what josh said in their bts post on tiktok… joshua michael has me fighting for my life daily

***

You probably liked watching Josh get ready for shows more than actually watching him perform— if that was even possible. It was just something about the hazy, distant state he falls into; it’s as if he forgets that the people around him even exist until he’s onstage. It’s beyond endearing; it shows how much he cares about his performance and delivering for his fans.

One night, you had accidentally broken his focus to ask what he was always thinking so deeply about before his shows. Your voice had startled him and he blinked rapidly, like he had a bit of trouble returning to this plane of existence. He then sighed, mourning the loss of his own little world. “I’m just… connecting to the universe,” he had mumbled, trying to regain his trance-like state. “Getting out of my head and into the cosmos. Helps me perform better.” Frustrated, his eyebrows were stoic as he stared at his golden, glittering makeup in the reflection of a mirror, as if he were meditating to his own visage. After that night, you never bothered him before shows again: partly because you just loved seeing him be so divinely spiritual, but also, the way he was stone-cold when he answered your innocent question gave you goosebumps. You didn’t want to tempt that feeling again.

Perfectly content to just be in his presence, you loved sitting on whatever furniture happened to be in his dressing room at each venue and watching him roam about the space, popping a vitamin here, fixing a rhinestone there, all while seemingly completely unaware of your presence. And you were usually perfectly content with that— just watching. But not tonight.

Tonight, there was a certain heavy heat in the air. Maybe it was the warm weather, or maybe it was because of the way Josh’s new jumpsuit hugged his tight little body. Whatever it was, you were simply feverish.

Josh was facing the large mirror that covered most of one wall, spraying some sort of mist that smelled almost like champagne into his loose curls, raking them upward. He seemed to fall into the well of his own honey-brown eyes. You would have killed to know what was going on in that brilliant mind of his.

You squeezed your thighs together, hoping to squander that all-too-familiar feeling inside you. You knew how important Josh’s pre-show ritual was to him, and you didn’t want your neediness to ruin that. That one night you'd unknowingly interrupted his process, he forgot the words to parts of Safari Song and Broken Bells, and then he choked on his nightly Fireball shot instead of taking it down smoothly like he always does. You’d never seen him so disappointed in himself, and it had broken your heart. You couldn’t help but blame yourself, so you vowed to treat Josh’s ritual like it was some holy rite from then on.

But tonight, you couldn’t stomp out the fire that was gradually growing hotter beneath your ribcage. The way his chin dipped to see the hair further back on his head, the way he stared up at himself from below his solemn eyebrows. The way you had a perfect view of his ass and the shimmery white satin that clung to it.

There was just no more ignoring the tingling under your skin. You needed to do something about the throbbing between your legs. More like, you needed him to do something about it.

You risked standing up, knowing full well that your sudden action was visible to him in the mirror. It wasn’t until you started hesitantly walking towards him that his eyes flicked over to meet yours.

“What is it, honey?” There was something a little sticky and sour about the way he said your pet name.

His voice stopped you in your tracks about three feet away from him. You scared yourself with what you were doing. You didn’t want to be doing it, but you could no longer deny your urges, which were quickly bordering on primal.

But your thought process hadn’t gotten you this far; you had no idea what to say. “...Nothing. Nothing important.” There was an embarrassing, telling tremor in your voice. You should have just sat back down right after speaking and forgotten the whole thing, but you didn't. You couldn’t have moved in that moment if you tried. His eyes bore into yours; the intensity of his stare was overwhelming as it ricocheted off the silver glass and into you.

An imperceptible lifting of his eyebrows signaled to you that he knew what you were trying to get from him. His lips twitched. “Honey," Josh sighed, "you know I love you, but you also know that my pre-show ritual is vital to my performance." Something in his voice betrayed the words he had spoken and made you think that he was actually eager to see what you’d do next.

You let the silence hang delicately between you like it was as fragile as a teacup as you decided where to take this.

“I know, I just,” you paused to inhale deeply, “can’t stop thinking about how good that jumpsuit looks on you,” you said, pointedly raking your eyes down his back. You felt your heart start to quicken, anxious for his response.

He cocked an eyebrow at you through the mirror. “Oh, yeah?” He considered this for a moment. You held your breath as you watched his icy gaze drift back to his own eyes. “Tell me what you like about it.”

Fuck. Let the game begin, you thought. A wave of relief— and unbridled lust— soaked you to the bone, making you shiver. “Well,” you began, greedily scanning the detail that covered his body, achingly eager to follow orders. “I love this belt.” You reached out to ghost your fingertips over the flat golden cording that sat right over his hips.

He suddenly turned to face you, and you sucked in a breath at the sight of his smooth chest and the golden necklaces that hung against his tanned skin.

“This neckline…” you softly traced the trim of the cutout with a barely-there touch, careful not to graze any part of his skin, hoping he would get desperate to feel your hands on him, letting you in further. But you knew teasing him like this was crossing a line. He was looking down at you with a stern expression, but the corner of his lip quivered, signifying a crack in his steely armor.

Your hand glided over his chest, just hovering over the jewels that decorated the gilded peacock feathers that ornamented both sides of his sternum.

“I love these feathers… you look like a king.”

He puffed his chest at the praise, imperceptibly tilting his chin upwards. God, you wanted him.

“These sleeves,” you said, running your hands down the silky, transparent fabric covering his arms.

“You like that?” His voice was a low rumble in his chest.

“Very much,” you breathed, itching to feel the valleys and ridges of his defined muscles unimpeded by the bedazzled cloth.

Seemingly reading your mind, he said, “They’re removable.”

Your eyes shot up to meet his hopefully, pathetically. He knew that his arms were your favorite part of his body, and he was holding it against you. He chuckled at your desperate reaction.

“If you think I’m gonna take apart my outfit so close to showtime, you’re sorely mistaken.” His eyes were dark: with anger or with lust, you weren’t sure. But you didn’t know if you really cared. Or even if it mattered. As long as the aching feeling inside you that was growing unbearable was taken care of.

You whined, squeezing your thighs together again, desperate for relief. A switch inside Josh flipped at the sound, his jaw tightening.

“Ohhh,” he crooned, “too bad you can’t always get what you want.”

He turned away from you to face the mirror again, brushing your hands off his arms like you were a bothersome fly.

“Josh…” You were scared for a moment that he was upset with you, but you knew that if he actually was, he wouldn't be teasing you so mercilessly. So you decided to tease back.

Your hands drifted from the very tops of his shoulders all the way down to the small of his back, then you dragged your palms up the sides of his hips and waist, hooking your arms under his shoulders and resting your hands on his chest-- right over the peacock feathers. You felt him tense up beneath your touch, and you couldn't help the smirk that crossed your lips.

“No, doll, I need to do well at this show tonight. Some people from the label will be watching.” He pressed a few of the rhinestones tracing his cheekbones firmly back into their place. His fingers trembled slightly.

“Please,” you whispered, kissing his shoulder, and then the bare skin at crook of his neck. “I need you.”

He suddenly slammed his palm down on the counter, making you flinch and let go of him. He leaned on his arms, once again locking eyes with you through the mirror. His eyes were roiling and sparking like storm clouds. “As much as I’d love to fuck you right here in this dressing room until you’re screaming my name for everyone backstage to hear, I said no. Now, sit down.”

You gulped, unsure of how to react. You then realized that you were going to have to turn your brattiness up by 100 if you were going to get what you wanted. Huffing, you stamped one of your heeled feet, not unlike a child. Immediately, he whipped around to face you, eyes thundering.

“Are you actually giving me attitude right now?” he barked, in utter disbelief at your bad behavior. “You know better than that.” His voice was full of urgent warning, his nose snarling.

This is it. Now or never. “Maybe you need to teach me some manners.”

The last thing you were expecting Josh to do after hesitating for what felt like hours was let out a dark, slow chuckle, shaking his head. He stalked towards you, slotting his face right over your shoulder, hands firmly by his side, knowing you were burning for his touch. The heat of his body so close to yours almost made your knees buckle. Despite his laughter, his anger wasn't gone; it had hardened into something that made goosebumps shiver on every inch of your skin. You could feel nothing but his hot, steady breath ghosting over the shell of your ear for a few agonizing moments before he spoke, lips barely grazing the cartilage.

“I should fuck that sass right out of you, honey."

You nearly moaned, but you choked it back.

"You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he growled.

You nodded quickly, inhaling sharply. His dominant side never failed to have you weak in the knees.

“Then you better do exactly what I say," he enunciated. "You misbehave once, and you get nothing. You’ll just have to sit in those soaked panties for the whole show, watching all those girls begging for me to take them right then and there.” He laughed again, low and demeaning. “You understand how lucky you are, correct?”

“Yes.” The sound came out nothing more than a breath, scenes of the earth-shattering pleasure to come filling your thoughts. You let your eyes slip shut to enjoy it.

Josh roughly grabbed your jaw and wrenched your face to be mere centimeters from his, your eyes flying open.

“I’m gonna need you to be louder than that, honey,” he purred. He gestured his head towards the dressing room door, in the direction of the stage and the thousands of seats that were being filled as he spoke. “Those girls out there are gonna be screaming for me, and you can't get your sorry little voice above a whisper?" He looked away from you for a moment, running his tongue over his lips. "Why should I fuck you and not them, huh? I bet they’d be good girls for me. They’d do anything I told them.”

You didn’t waste a moment to slip into full, unabashed submission. Your legs were shaking already.

“Thank you, Josh, for choosing me,” you said, with passionate energy in your voice, pressing your hands against his chest and looking up at him desperately. “I know how lucky I am to be in your bed every night, to have you on top of me. To feel you inside me.”

Josh licked his lips again, slower this time, leaving them a deep pink and shiny. “That’s more like it. Now,” he let go of your jaw, leaving pale red finger marks, “sit back down in the couch.”

You scrambled away from him, not able to get seated fast enough. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t make you do right now with just the sound of his rich, lust-rasped voice.

“Take your skirt off. Leave your top and underwear on.”

The backs of your thighs were soon deliciously bared on the soft suede of the couch. The feeling of your intimate skin against the worn fabric made you wonder how many other girls found themselves in this same tantalizing situation with their own rockstar boyfriends. The idea turned you on beyond belief: to be one of many lucky girls.

“Let’s see how bad you really needed this. If you're not dripping right now, we're done here.” Josh remained standing over you, placing one hand on the arm of the couch, reaching his other one down to feel the wetness that had soaking your panties for the past half hour.

You sighed in pleasure, feeling your entire body relax and relishing in the feeling of his strong fingers pressing against your clothed center.

“Oh, wow,” he taunted derisively, clearly pleased at your arousal. Too pleased. His ego almost visibly soared. “I've barely touched you. All this from just looking at me?”

"Yes," you breathed, lifting your hips into his touch. "I've been thinking about this all night." Suddenly, the hand that was on the arm of the couch splayed out on your lower stomach, and Josh used his upper body weight to push your hips roughly back down into the couch, leaning down on you.

“That was a 'yes' or 'no' question. I didn't ask you to elaborate. You don’t speak unless you’re spoken to. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Josh, I understand," you whined, already overly sensitive.

"Yes, what?" he asked darkly, pulled his fingers away from you, eliciting a pitiful whimper. He moved the hand that was on your stomach to the side of your hip, gripping the plush skin hard, the pain tingeing the edges of your vision. He was still pressing you down hard into the couch, making the lower half of your body near immobile.

"Yes, sir."

"Better." He relented his force on your hip just a little bit as a reward. "From now on, unless I ask you a question, the only sounds out of your mouth should be those pretty noises you always make when I touch you like this.” He pressed the pads of his fingers harder into your clothed clit, making you throw your head back in desperation. You needed to feel his fingers on you. In you. You wanted nothing more than to scream at him exactly what you needed to have him do to you, but you only let pathetic moans slip out of you, careful to follow his instructions.

He slowly peeled your panties away from your center, the dark, wet patch on the fabric prominent. Josh smirked sinisterly at the unmistakable evidence of his prowess, and the look he gave you was almost desperate. He could play the unrelenting dominant all he wanted, but he was always going to give you anything you desired, anytime, anywhere-- you both knew that, making this little game exhilarating to play.

You bucked your hips in the air, craving his touch.

"You want my fingers back on your needy little cunt?"

"Please, God, yes!" you shouted a little too loudly, your voice filling the room. You blushed at your outburst, a little embarrassed.

But Josh loved it. "Ohhhh, that's a good girl," he cooed, teasing the tips of his pointer and middle finger at your slick entrance. "So loud for me."

He slipped his two fingers inside of you, pushing free a high-pitched moan from you. Pleasure was sparking through your veins as he curled his fingers to massage that spot deep inside you that only he seemed to be able to find, sending tendrils of euphoria up through your body.

You watched with lust-blown eyes as he kneeled down between your legs, and you couldn't help but notice his growing bulge, proud and pronounced in his skin-tight jumpsuit.

He followed your eyeline, and he smirked. "You want it, angel?"

"Yes, please, sir, I want it." Your words were slightly slurred, overcome with pleasure, his fingers pumping in and out of you, brushing that mouth-watering spot each time.

"I've got about 10 minutes before I have to go onstage. You're gonna have to be a lot more convincing than that if you want me to completely undress just so I can fill you with my cock instead of my fingers."

"God, please, Josh- sir," you pleaded, "I need to feel you inside me. My pussy's all wet and warm for you. So pretty and tight."

Josh groaned low in his chest, knowing he had just fallen past the point of no return. He stood and unzipped his jumpsuit and pulled off the sleeves, letting the top half of the jumpsuit hang around his hips, leaving his torso bare. He pushed the white satin down to his thighs, freeing himself. His cock looked painfully hard, the tip red and throbbing. You smiled to yourself, knowing his arousal was all your doing. Before you knew it, he was buried to the hilt inside of you, his hands grabbing your hips. The mix of pain and pleasure was utterly blinding, causing your jaw to drop and your eyes to blow wide open.

"You better be a good fucking girl for me and not make me regret this. You interrupt my pre-show process-" he paused to hiss as you clenched around him, his eyes rolling back, "-jesus... and you have me take off my pretty outfit because you couldn't take care of yourself. Pathetic little whore," he choked, pulling out of you and slamming back in. You moaned loudly, starting to see stars.

He growled through his teeth, "I hope that you feel fucking grateful for it."

"Thank you, sir," you gasped, feeling the slight drag of your walls gripping his length as he worked in and out of you achingly slow. "I'll be such a good girl for you, promise."

"Take off your shirt. And your bra. Show yourself to me."

The pleasure flooding your brain tried to block the signals it was sending to your arms to move, but you fought your instincts to please the man who was rocking his hips against you steadily. Your bare breasts fell out of your top, and Josh moaned deep and long when he saw that you forwent your usual underwear.

"No bra, huh? Filthy slut," he grimaced, his cock twitching inside of you. "Play with them for me, honey."

You happily obliged, fondling your full breasts, pinching and tugging at your nipples, sending shockwaves through your skin. Your face was contorted in mind-blowing pleasure, your lips parted and letting loose strings of whimpers.

The vulgar sights and sounds of you taking him so well spurred Josh on, working himself up to a threatening pace, pushing you back into the couch repeatedly. "Shit-- you feel so good," he purred. You let yourself get lost in the outrageous sensuality of his face: eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed, pink lips wet and parted, a blush high on his cheeks. A sweat had begun to form on his proud brow.

You lost control of all of your senses when Josh reached down with one hand to rub hard circles over your wet clit, cursing loudly. "Fuck, Josh!" You grabbed at his thick arms, pressing your nails into the skin, leaving marks. You were close.

Josh clasped a strong hand over your mouth, making you squeak with surprise. He leaned in close to hiss into your ear, "What did I say about not speaking unless you're spoken to?" He did not stop or slow any of his movements, making it unthinkably hard for you to string words together.

"I'm sorry, sir, I- fuck, fuck- wasn't supposed to do that. Please don't stop."

He slapped one of your tits, hard. You yelped, the pain exponentially increasing your pleasure. He grabbed the rounded-- now slightly red-- flesh of your breast, squeezing tightly.

"You get one more chance, doll. Follow the rules or I leave your sorry little cunt dripping all over this couch."

"Yes, sir!" you cried out, the sound turning into an obscene moan.

"You're so close, aren't you?" he crooned. His thrusts were bordering on sloppy, his hips hitching, as if his dick couldn't handle the pleasure your pussy was giving it. "Gonna cum all over my cock?"

"God, FUCK-- yes!"

"Let me hear how grateful you are for it."

Just barely, the faint sound of a thousand screaming girls made it's way through the dressing room door. The lights in the arena had just gone dark. You didn't have much longer to reach your high, and you wouldn't put it past him to follow through with his threat of leaving you here, pathetically leaking with the absence of him.

"I need your cock so bad, sir, more than anything. Thank you. I'm gonna cum so pretty for you." The words eeked out of you between gasps and sobs, unable to bring yourself to full voice. The feeling of Josh's dick stretching you so well and his fingers working your swollen, throbbing clit had you teetering over the edge.

"Come on then, pretty girl, give it to me." His sweat-damp curls were sticking to his forehead, lust-blown eyes drilling into your fucked-out gaze.

Your entire body was trembling, but you couldn't send yourself over. Josh's movements were now bordering on painful, but you'd have rather dropped dead than have him stop.

"I- I can't!" you sobbed, tears filling your eyes and spilling over your lashes. Josh felt too. damn. good.

Josh wrapped his fingers around your throat tightly, pressing into your pulse points. He bared his teeth as he growled in your face, so close that his facial hair tickled your skin. "Honey, we don't have much time. If you don't cum for me right now, I'll have to bring you out on the stage and make you finish on my cock in front of everybody."

You screamed as your orgasm ripped through you like lightning, fire burning through your skin. You thought for a moment that your body would tear itself apart. Your head was spinning; you hardly heard Josh's loud moans and grunts as he finished deep inside you, his cock jumping and quivering inside your rapidly clenching walls. You both rode each other through your highs, pitifully whimpering together. Mascara was streaming down your face, your mind completely empty.

You sat there panting as Josh pulled out of you. He rested his forehead on yours, his hot breath washing over your face. He cupped a hand on your jaw. "Fuck, baby, you make me feel so, so good."

Loud pounding at the door startled both of you. An urgent voice shouted through the wood, "Josh, what the hell are you doing?! The curtain is gonna drop any second now."

Guilt and fear took the place of euphoria in your veins. "Oh, shit, baby, I'm sorry, let me help you get dressed," you breathed, fighting your shaking muscles to stand.

"No, honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. Stay right there." He kissed you on the forehead and rushed into the on-suite bathroom, quickly running a washcloth under some warm water. The pounding at the door didn't cease, the door jiggling against the deadbolt.

He gently ran the washcloth between your legs, the feeling of it causing a new blossom of pleasure in your stomach.

He pulled his jumpsuit back on, cursing as he fiddled with the zipper. You swatted his hands away and zipped it up for him, standing to press a kiss to his lips.

"Go, my little rockstar. Knock 'em dead."

He gave you a fucked-out little smile, squeezed your bare waist, and ran towards the door, but he stopped in his tracks with his hand on the doorknob.

"Shit, I forgot my sleeves!"

"Fuck the sleeves, Josh," you laughed. "Go."

He shook his head with a grin.

"God, you're trouble, honey."

***

It took you a good few minutes to recover enough to put your clothes back on and be able to stand without wobbling. Once you didn't look like a baby doe on ice, you took your place at the side of the stage just as the band finished the first song. Despite fibers of pleasure still lingering in your body, you were flooded with nerves, remembering the fact that you had disrupted his pre-show ritual so entirely. Scenes from the last time you had done that flashed through your mind: the way he shook his head disappointedly at himself when he forgot lyrics, the disconnected way that he sang, the bright-red blush that covered his face when he choked on the cinnamon-y liquid that poured down his throat. You found yourself casting your eyes downward, not wanting to watch your boyfriend crash and burn because of you as the cue for the second song began.

But, Josh did whatever the opposite of crashing and burning was. His voice sounded better than you had ever heard it; his crystal-clear tones and his powerful cries reverberated through the space, completely enchanting you and every other soul in the audience like he was a siren. You couldn't pull your eyes away from him; it was like the Universe had imbued him with his own magnetic field, and everyone in his vicinity couldn't do anything but surrender and let themselves be pulled in. With your gaze so intently locked on him, you couldn't help but notice little signs of your rendezvous all over him-- sweat glistened on his neck and chest, his lips were red and swollen, his curls were frizzy and untamed, and he was missing a few rhinestones on his cheeks. You laughed to yourself, knowing the fans were going to spin themselves into a tizzy seeing him so obviously fucked-out. A swell of pride burst within you; you knew that Josh's empty threat to toss you to the curb and fuck one of the girls in the audience would never come true. You were the only one that he wanted; you were his. And he was yours.

***

The show ended with a not-so-metaphorical bang as jets of fire shot into the air, washing the arena with the same heavy heat you had felt earlier that night. Josh wailed a farewell into the mic after they hit their final button, and he trotted offstage towards you, exploding with swagger and immense satisfaction. In his bejeweled sunnies and fluffy feather boa, he looked like a star.

"Oh my, God, you did so great, baby!" you squealed as you threw your arms around him and peppered his face with kisses. Charged with energy, Josh picked you up and spun you around as you giggled against his face.

"All because of you," he panted, slightly out of breath as he set you down, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Me?" you said incredulously. "No, that was all you. I was so nervous because I ruined your whole process, and I know how important that is to your performance, and I was so scared that I had fucked everything up for you-"

Josh stopped your rambling with a kiss that started sincere but grew heated quite quickly. He licked into your mouth, tangling his tongue with yours. You stayed like that for a while with complete disregard for the roadies that had to weave around you to start breaking down the stage. You two breathed hot and heavy into each other's mouths.

"Fuck all that," he said, as he tilted your chin up and pressed a small kiss to your lips.

You were taken aback at his brash words. "W-what do you mean?"

He laughed. "Baby, I just performed like that without all the spiritual bullshit," he said, gesturing to the stage behind him. You couldn't help the pleasure that shot to your head from his semi-conceited remark. His confidence was beyond sexy to you. He paused, squeezing your hips, making your breath catch in your throat. Josh nuzzled his face against your cheek, his facial hair tickling your skin. He whispered sensually into your ear, "Honey, you're my new pre-show ritual."

*

#gvf fanfiction #josh gvf #gvf fic #gvf smut #greta van fleet #greta van smut #josh kiszka

[manlicker69]

★ Characters involved :: Post mafia Dazai Osamu; BSD/ Bungou Stray Dogs, male reader/self insert (sorry i'm super gay lolzies)

★ Genre :: sfw, angst, nsfw

★ Contains :: sexy , romantic love and sex , anxiety/panic attacks, depression, self harm, suicide (thoughts,attempts,ideations) , dead dove do not eat? , softy dazai , you can tell I'm extremely mentally ill :skull:

★ A/N :: If you're struggling with any aspect of your mental health or self harm, please seek help. I know what those dark times, thoughts, and feelings feel like. It's scary reaching out to people, but it is such a big help for your mental health and safety. Please be careful reading the "angst" section if you continue. | Have any suggestions or requests? Hit me up in my inbox! I will review anything you have to say!! :3

SFW UNDER CUT!

loves playing with your hair

like he'll be doing anything and he'll twirl your hair, braid it, play with it, anything

will unconsciously nibble or suck on your skin or smth

You'll be cuddling and he'll just suck on your fingers or arms like a baby

post pm dazai is such a cuddler like it's crazy

he'll embrace you in your arms like it's the last day on earth

SUPER CLINGYYY

you two would be at work and he gets withdraws just from not being next to you

such a praiser

he loves everything about you, and needs you to understand that

loves listening to music with you, your energy gives him more life than anyone else he's met

(for fellow autistic folks out there)

stimming? HE'LL STIM WITH YOU!!!! respectfully!!!

grrr you want to info dump abt your special interets(s) ???? he's so in love with the way you get excited and talk, he'll listen for hours

overstimulated???? will get everything you need to create a nest of comfort until the war passes

ANGST UNDER CUT!

cuddles your struggles away

panic/anxiety attack? he'll cradle you until the world stops spinning

once you're calm enough and you've given him consent, he would give slow, soft pecks and kisses to your face

self harm struggles? he knows how you feel

will talk with you about what's going through your mind

would bandage you up with lots of kisses and praise

he might even draw on your bandages so you wouldn't think of the pain when looking at them

late night talks

suicidal thoughts? he knows how to talk to you in this state

it's hard for him to see you suffer through things that he's been through

holds you no matter what through dark times

suicide attempts? he'll be your biggest supporter in life no matter what

he would never leave your side for a while (as if he isn't clingy enough)

wouldn't blame you, would only try to make your life happier, as he wish others did to him

depressed? cuddles and late night talks will help!

he understands everything you say, and knows how to make you feel better

self image issues? baby boy you're so handsome

kisses you in his favorite spots on your body

praises you non stop when he can tell you're not in a good mood

experienced S/A? will comfort you however he can to help you cope

its a depressing and harsh process to treat PTSD, so dazai lets you go at your own pace

only if you're determined enough to go through it

if you don't, he will constantly make sure he doesn't trigger you in any way

listens to mitski with you

NSFW UNDER CUT!

holy shit he's so hot

constantly asks for consent, because he should AND he always needs to know you're enjoying him

scars? embraces the fuck out of them

sometimes he'll even give you hickies over healed scars so all you'll think about is him

if he's feeling playful, maybe he'll even tickle you

everything's about you pretty boy

small dick/t-dick? he doesn't care, you're still just as handsome

he'll play with your sensitive areas as much as he wants, but he does it for his and your pleasure

loves seeing you squirm and hearing you whimper, moan, all that jazz

when he's inside you? oh my god

grab your hair, hips, anything, he's deathly attracted to your everything

usually he takes stuff slow and romantic, but if you two are feeling it then hell yeah you'll fuck to the moon!

you didn't come yet? do you wanna talk about it, or just let him fuck you into oblivion until you do?

lovesssss feeling you up, like good god you were gifted with such a beautiful body

kisses kisses kisses

loves when you kiss him too, finds it adorable when you drool on him lol

nipples?!??1/?!?!?!? it's his fav lollipop flavor

he's so romantic asjhskjks he can just make you hard doing pretty much anythinggg

stim during sex? he doesn't mind, he might even participate with you if he's feeling playful

stimming while giving him head? he loves seeing you enjoy yourself, stim on his cock all you want!

vocal stims/tics during sex? finds it hotter than normal because he's just ramming himself inside of you and you're enjoying yourself so much!!

mute? the sounds you make when he thrusts into you is enough for him, he’ll love you however you are!!!!

(might add if I think of more)

#mlm nsft #autistic nsft #smut #bsd #gay love #manlicker69 #x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai smut #romance #gay boys #angst #dead dove do not eat #sorry i'm a sucker for romance #suggestions #requests #first post #mute reader #mute!reader #autistic characters #autistic reader #neurodivergent

[byuntrash101]

damnation of a saint (teaser)

pairing — nun!reader x sin of lust!seonghwa ft. ateez as the other sins

rating — smut | mdni

wc — ~13k (teaser is 1.2k)

synopsis — life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.

release date — OUT!!! LINK HERE

nsfw tags under the cut

tags — heavy religious/blasphemous themes (don't read if you're uncomfy <3), inclusive writing (reader is not described), also reader is the embodiment of purity and selflessness, 20240127 hwa (will to power d1 in seoul), kinda slow burn kinda vibes, tensionnnnn, sooo much teasing, dom!hwa, also very sly demon!hwa, supernatural sex, corruption kink (obviously), masturbation (f), oral (f), the (un)holy trinity = teasing + begging + mind breaking, some light impact play, breath play, hair pulling, fingering (f), monster cock!hwa, size training, pet names (angel, love, darling, sweetheart), praising, degradation (slut, whore), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f), overstim and more to be revealed in the full version <3

a/n: consider this teaser as the moodboard of the fic <3 also im so excited to be reworking on my fave fic ever. hope you enjoy it too <3

ateez masterlist | navigation

Seonghwa was bored out of his mind. Like he had been for decades now, even centuries. He couldn’t remember what it was like to feel… well… anything at all really. And after years upon years of vegetating he didn’t care enough to even try anymore. He just laid there, endlessly staring blankly at the emptiness. He tapped his slender finger on his thigh, comfortably set on the bed of dark purple smoke he had materialized out of thin air.

He let out an audible annoyed groan as he was nonchalantly stretching out his long limbs which didn’t fail to catch the attention of the others.

“What’s wrong?” Yeosang asked as he was feasting on some delicious meal he poofed out magically. He didn’t even take a second to look up the bucket full of chicken drumsticks, wrapping his greasy fingers around the bone and eyeing the meat like one would their life long partner. But then again, that wasn’t too far from the truth for Yeosang.

“I’m bored” Seonghwa complained, pushing his long silky black hair back on his forehead and choosing to ignore Yeosang’s lack of interest, dragging out the word on his tongue, transmitting his state of utter apathy to the others.

“Why don’t you go up and play with the Humans?” Mingi suggested while checking himself out in the mirror, readjusting his bangs and sliding his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before striking a pose to himself, remaining completely self absorbed.

Once again, Seonghwa wasn’t getting much attention from his counterparts but he was somewhat used to it when it came to Mingi.

“What’s the point? They are no fun anyways!” Seonghwa sat up straight and crossed his long elegant legs on the cloud of cotton like smoke.

“Why?” Jongho asked, unlike the others he deigned looking in Seonghwa’s direction with somewhat surprised eyes. “You used to love going around and breaking up happy marriages, luring men and women in with your charms… That was always fun!” He said a little sluggishly, but still with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

“Yeah… Maybe it was…” Seonghwa replied. “Two millenniums ago…” Another prolonged sigh. “When everything still felt fresh.” He got up from the comfortable cloud of smoke, pacing the endless void as his heels clacked and echoed with each step.  “Now I know that Humans are only self centered vile creatures who only claim to have better morals than us because they are scared of the consequences that inevitably ensue from succumbing to their primal desires. When in fact, all they want is to eat, kill, have sex or not do anything at all. They are nothing short of underdeveloped, unevolved, spineless piles of meat” 

“Meat? Where?” Yeosang said, finally lifting his head from the bucket of fried chicken to look around, eyes rounded in panic.

Not a single one of them reacted except Mingi who side eyed him with disdain before returning to more important matters at hand such as swapping the aviator sunglasses for narrower, more rectangular ones.

“That’s not entirely false” Jongho concluded, shrugging, easily giving up on the idea of comforting Seonghwa.

“I mean where’s the fun if you can’t break their minds to give in?” Seonghwa placed both hands on Jongho's shoulders, slightly shaking him while the latter lifelessly swayed back and forth. “What is the point if they don’t resist the call of evil? If you can’t erode their will like a rock made smooth by the incessant beating of the waves of the cruel sea.” Seonghwa huffed in a quiet, defeated voice, letting go of Jongho's shoulders to let his arms hang at his side while the other one stared at him blankly.

“Hm… okay” Jongho said before slipping off Seonghwa's reach to take his place on the fluffy bed of purple smoke, crashing head first onto the soft cloud.

A silence settled for what seemed like a long moment, even for them, immutable creatures to whom the very concept of time couldn't grasp at their permanence.

“Well you never tried with that girl…” Wooyoung said, slithering his way to Seonghwa without a sound. He had been watching the scene unfold from afar up until then. “What was her name already?” He snapped his fingers and looked to the side trying to access his memory. He turned to Mingi for help but he was too busy looking through the mirror, slipping on yet another dangling necklace and smirking, satisfied at the results.  Wooyoung then tried his luck with Yeosang but he now had his face buried in a huge bowl of chicken broth, the empty bucket of fried chicken abandoned and slurping up a big mouthful of noodles in a rather unpleasant way. “Jongho?” he called, finally settling for the one that looked almost passed out on the bed of smoke, but still this one wielded the most positive result.

“Y/n” Jongho responded without conviction, still laying flat on the cloud of smoke, eyes growing heavier by the second.

“Yeah! That’s right!” Wooyoung exclaimed. “That girl is unbreakable,” he affirmed. Seonghwa scoffed and threw an unconvinced look to his peer.

“No really! I’ve tried to corrupt her but I really couldn’t”. Wooyoung said, raising his brows and talking loudly to support his point. But that did little to persuade Seonghwa, he was convinced that Wooyoung was just not as good as him at breaking the mortals’ souls. So yes, it was possible that Wooyoung had struggled with that girl. But not him, surely not him.

When Wooyoung saw Seonghwa was not budging his face dropped, and he turned to the others. “Please someone back me up on this one” 

“Oh yeaaah… I remember her” Yeosang said, voice cut by various sounds of loud lips smacking and open mouth chewing. “Even I tried!”

Now, that was different. Seonghwa was interested. Most people are quick to indulge themselves when it comes to food. It was, so to speak, the easiest sin of the seven to succumb to. The Humans often say “there’s always room for dessert” and innocently eat a generous slice of cake after devouring a full meal. They don’t even notice Yeosang forcing the big spoon full of buttery sugary goodness into their mouths. They don’t even know Yeosang, himself, made this saying. 

“She refused to even do as much as taste the delicious meal I made her sister cook her even though she was starving… instead she gave it to the homeless man living not far from her apartment.” Yeosang stated with aberration shaking his head in disappointment before plunging right back in the ramyeon bowl.

“Mhm” Seonghwa scratched his chin, his curiosity for the mysterious righteous girl was piqued.

“One day I tried to make her give in” Jongho chipped in from the dark purple smoke bed, even pushing himself on his elbows to look at the others, to Seonghwa’s surprise. “Made her miss the train and the bus she needed to take to get home after work and conveniently laid a juicy wallet stuffed full of even juicier bills in the gutter. All she had to do was to bend down and get the money to take a taxi to her apartment. But instead she took the money and walked to the police station to report the lost wallet, which was in the opposite direction by the way and then walked back home only to take a shower and leave right after to attend the charity soup kitchen. Anddd… Explaining this made me tired. Please don't talk to me for the next two hundred years, thank you.” Jongho concluded in one single breath before laying back down and turning on his side to nap comfortably.

“Maybe that one can be interesting after all” Seonghwa thought aloud.

a/n: tell me if you wanna be tagged through comments or through asks <3

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#seonghwa smut #ateez smut #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa hard thoughts #seonghwa hard hours #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa ateez #seonghwa imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #mingi #wooyoung #kpop smut #smut fanfiction #ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts

[flurrys-creativity]

Bouncy

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong (Ateez) x Fem!Reader; Genre: Established Relationship AU, Romance, SMUT; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Warnings: jealousy, Hongjoong’s outfit that shows off his dick print, small argument, smut, unprotected sex, riding, hints of dom/sub tendencies, usage of petnames (baby), hint of orgasm denial, begging, slight biting, teasing; Wordcount: 1.746

Summary: You stayed backstage while the boys performed on stage, watching them through the live stream. Though seeing your boyfriend like this and reading all the comments about him, you became quite jealous. To get rid of your jealousy Hongjoong had to get creative with you.

A/N: There is this performance that sparked this whole thing. It’s this video right here, officer. I will go and wash my eyes and hands and brain with holy water now. But also this is only one fictional outcome from that video. Check out @sanjoongie 's "Bouncy" too to read a second outcome.

You sat on the couch of the changing room in the farthest corner and stared intently on the tablet the staff lent you. Despite a few remaining staff, who prepared to leave for their short break as well, you were alone within the room.

You could hear the screams from the studio, indicating it wouldn’t be long before Ateez had their performance. You shortly looked up, seeing the last staff members leaving. Now you were truly alone and could concentrate on the performance with all your senses.

The screen on the tablet changed, showing an edit of their music video. All of them worked so hard for that video. They absolutely deserved every praise for it. The screen changed again and showed the boys on the studio stage, staring intently into the camera.

You knew this alone was enough to make lots of Atiny swoon. The second the performance started the screams increased in volume and the live chat next to the video exploded.

Your eyes flicked between the video and the comments from the fans, smiling proudly at how many voiced their love for this comeback.

That smile vanished a few minutes into the performance. Your eyes widened in shock and you had to blink several times, hoping your mind just deceived you. Though the second your attention fell on the chat, you knew it wasn’t.

Hongjoong’s pants showed absolutely everything whenever he thrusted his hips or leaned back with his upper body. 

Dozens of comments flooded the chatroom, incoherent key smashes and emoticons showcasing the state of Atiny’s minds. Once the first shock calmed down again other comments filled the chat.

“He really wanted to show us how!”

“The way I’d drop to my knees, keke.”

“I wanna suck him off real good!!!!”

“My thoughts are so impure right now… lol.”

You desperately wanted to agree with the comments but instead your inner green monster of jealousy roared its ugly head, consuming your thoughts whole. You should be the only one thinking about his dick. Be the only one to see it - even just the imprint. At least you were the only one able to touch, feel and taste it but with the comments turning more and more explicit that fact felt like it wasn’t enough anymore.

You barely registered the rest of the performance. The only thing on your mind were the continuous comments about your boyfriend’s dick as well as every damn shot that showed the imprint.

A deep frown and prominent pout settled on your face.

“If you wanna know how, I can show you right now.” Hongjoong’s voice rang through your ears, followed by the ecstatic screams of Atiny. The screams got momentarily louder when the door of the changing room opened.

You looked up, seeing Wooyoung and San teasing each other as they walked into the room. Right behind them Yeosang, Jongho, Yunho and Mingi came into sight. Your expression smoothed down and a soft smile appeared on your lips as you waved to them.

“Y/N! What do you think? Our first performance! The atmosphere was crazy!” Wooyoung yelled as he rushed over to you, basically dropping his sweaty self on your lap.

“You were awesome.” You smiled and patted his head.

Yunho joined your side and looked down at your form with a smirk. “What did you think of hyung’s little surprise?”

You immediately narrowed your eyes and glared up at Yunho, pursing your lips into a thin line. “He knew?”

Before Yunho could answer your question, Seonghwa and finally Hongjoong arrived inside the changing room. Your attention snapped towards him, the glare and pout once again prominent on your face.

Hongjoong raised his eyebrows once he noticed your expression. Concern lingered in his eyes as he walked over to you, pulling Wooyoung somewhat from your lap and sitting down close to you. “What’s wrong, love?”

You only frowned even more and crossed your arms in front of your chest. Even though part of your mind told you that your behaviour resembled an upset toddler, you just couldn’t help yourself.

“Did something happen while I was gone?” Hongjoong tried prying your arms away from your body but as soon as he realised you wouldn’t budge he settled with rubbing over your thigh. He tried everything to coax you to speak with him. Hongjoong noticed how you pointedly glanced down every now and then but he couldn’t make the message out of that. “Please use your words, love, what’s wrong?”

“Everyone is talking about your dick”, you blurted out with a scoff. You heard some suppressed snorts from the other members but your attention solely stayed with Hongjoong.

He giggled softly and scratched the back of his ear, which slowly turned red. “So you noticed.”

“Like thousands of others!” By now you felt like fuming, the jealousy turning into unfounded anger.

“You know I’m a jealous man. I need to pull such a stunt every now and then to keep Atiny’s attention on us. Not on our background dancers or even other groups.”

“Attention on you or your dick?”

“Hey, we’re going to get some snacks!” Seonghwa called out and ushered everyone but you two out of the changing room. With one last look full of concern he closed the door behind himself.

“I should be the only one to think of your dick and what I want to do with it.” 

A small smirk played over Hongjoong’s lips but he quickly schooled his expression again. “Oh love”, he murmured and rubbed his hands over your upper arms now, “you’re the only one supposed to get drunk on my cock every time I’m near. All those fans will forget about it in a few days but you, you won’t ever forget about my cock so deep inside of you, giving you all the pleasure you need.”

You swallowed audibly, feeling how your resolve slowly faded away. “I still want you to use other methods to keep Atiny focused on you guys”, you mumbled and avoided looking at your boyfriend. 

Hongjoong’s hands glided down your sides - only stopping right above the rim of your pants. He pressed his thumbs into you, slightly showing his possessive nature. “Let me show you what no other Atiny will ever experience.”

With that Hongjoong pulled you on his lap, pressing you down on his hard on, while he stared at your face intently. 

Your eyes widened in surprise and a gasp left your lips. You grabbed onto his shoulders, feeling your heart pound like crazy within your chest. You could feel how your anger and jealousy disappeared and got replaced with lust. As if your hips had a mind on their own you started grinding down on Hongjoong’s crotch, whimpering upon the little friction you received.

“Is my baby that eager?” Hongjoong teased you as he tapped your hips, quietly ordering you to get up again.

Reluctantly and only with a lot of whining did you follow his order. You stood now in front of him, waiting for his next command. 

Hongjoong grabbed your ass cheeks and squeezed them, relishing in the yelp coming from you. “I can’t wait for these to bounce on my dick.” With that he nearly ripped your jeans down, pulling them down until they reached your ankles. He then leaned forward and pressed his face against your lower stomach, inhaling your sweet scent and licking over your soft skin. 

His teeth grazed over your skin down until they met the waistband of your panties. Hongjoong ever so slowly pulled them down with his teeth, looking up at you and seeing how you nearly vibrated with lust.

Once you only wore your shirt properly, Hongjoong leaned back and stared at you with a cocky smirk. He slid down his pants and boxers, letting his cock free. 

You stood in front of him, squirming impatiently. Your gaze was trained on his hard on and you really wanted to touch him - feel him. But you couldn’t - not until Hongjoong allowed you to do it.

“Take a seat, baby.”

You whined softly and stepped closer to him. You were about to straddle him when Hongjoong shook his head and twirled his finger. As you turned around he spread his legs, letting you go between them.

Hongjoong grabbed your hips and guided you down, letting out a low groan when your tight walls encompassed his hard on. He slowly let you bounce on his cock, holding your hips tightly as he moved you up and down over and over again.

You moaned from the pleasure, the feeling way more intense with your legs pressed together like that. “Please, Hongjoong, please.”

“What is it baby? Use your words.”

“Cum”, you moaned out, barely able to form a complete sentence, “need cum. Please.”

Hongjoong snickered and pressed you down on his cock, holding you there closely. “Do you need to cum or do you need my cum inside you, baby?” He whispered into your ear, slightly nibbling your earlobe afterwards. One of his hands moved to your front and between your legs, circling your clit while he waited for your answer.

“Please.”

“Please what.”

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes from the building orgasm you weren’t allowed to release - not until he told you so. “I need to cum. Need your cum too! Please!”

Hongjoong thrusted into you a few more times, grunting into your ear as he did so. “Cum, baby, cum for me.”

You cried out his name as you came, feeling all your muscles tense up at once. Upon squeezing Hongjoong’s cock he came as well and held you close to himself. He leaned his head against your shoulders, breathing heavily as he came down from his own high.

“Just so you know, baby”, Hongjoong exhaled, rubbing his thumbs over your hips, “that was only the beginning. There’s a lot more to come tonight and you won’t get to sleep at all.”

“As long as I’m the only one to get all that”, you teased right back, leaning into your boyfriend's embrace.

A knock on the door disrupted your little moment. Both your heads snapped towards it as it opened a little. “Is it safe to come back in?” Seonghwa called out nervously. “We’d like to get changed and go home now.”

Both you and Hongjoong snickered in amusement as you hurriedly got presentable again, silently promising each other to return to the fun as soon as you got home.

© all rights reserved  

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland​ @songsoomin​​

#pirateeznet #cultofdionysusnet #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #wkcnet #kvanity #kim hongjoong #ateez #ateez hongjoong #bouncy #one shot

[thecrownestt]

This post is for the deathly feedist feeders. Also the feedees, if y'all want (my) thoughts on how it goes.

As much as I can exclaim, it is jaw-droppingly attractive when we can target a feedee for their weakness for eating. Oh, you ate that much? You didn't ask me if it was ok? How could you do this to yourself? Etc etc etc. We all know it.

What about the feeder angle? It's not as special or stressful, but isn't it super important for a feedee to know?

What is the process for a feeder to get food. Sure, I'll go and pick up a pretty notable order. A pizza with multiple sides. A fast food order with a few drinks and a few bags. Any sort of take-out where you get three or more utensil sets. With my thin self, it can get passed over. He's picking up for a family. At worst, he works out a LOT and needs the extra calories. Same with the grocery store. Oh, this fella takes care of the shopping. He's a star. He's helpful. Isn't he great?

But he isn't great, right? The excesses related to all this isn't lost. Holy hell, this is a LOT of food, and I know why I'm getting it. I nudged my feedee. I told them how cute it would be. No no no, it's ok, eating unrestricted is critical to how I sleep at night next to a bloated, heavy babe. You are my babe, don't forget that. But I can't sayyy that to the restaurant folks. I smile, I pick up the big order, and I shuffle back to the car in a dazed state.

This amount of food is entirely too much.

It's unreasonable, really.

If it went to one person, what would they think?

If they found out I was pushing the habit, what would they think of me?

No no no, it isn't nearly as visibly fascinating as a too fat person getting their food, but isn't there credit for what goes on for the feeder here?

Chronically being faced with a lie by your intentions. The workers looking at me going "yeah, he isn't smashing this whole order, I'll smile" knowing full-fucking sinister me is going to tease, force, and praise the victim who signed up for me to take care of them during this journey of obesity?

Yes, you can't maneuver a walk through the store anymore. No, the car doesn't fit so easy like it used to. Can't we let the mystery of my appearances at the fast food drive-thru be mine? How is this small man getting so much food...so often. The workers will brush it off, but oh my goddd I'm wearing it on my conscious. Would any of them let me finish the order if they knew I was so regularly tying them up? I know how you fight. You need restraints. You'll be free once you finish your portions. Others would rebuke me in horror. Comments on websites. Documentaries highlighting my evil ways. Until it happens, I'm the essence of what this is all is. I keep it going. I force the issue when you are squirming under your shockingly helpless body.

Let me go to McDonald's? Let me feel that rush of horrid? Let me think about how I'm traveling and procuring for the pure purpose of making you a little more tired, wheezy, and fat. Fat fat fat. It's all we care about. Let me do it. Please. You're too cute for me to do anything but this.

#female weight gain #looking for a feedee #feedist #obese #weight gain #gaining kink #make me fatter

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

soldiermedic that started with soldier being completely and utterly enraptured and blown away by medic preforming the most basic of medical tasks like skillfully and quickly wrapping a wrist with a bandage. Soldier is there like "HOLY MOTHER MARY OF JOSEPH. YOU OUGHTA BE NEXT HEAD OF THE STATE FOR THE SKILL YOU POSSESS, MAGGOT!! NO, SCRATCH THAT- NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!! YOU ARE AN ASSET TO THIS COUNTRY, SON!!!"

amd then he steps out of the infirmary and shouts at the first person he sees like "SCOUT, DO YOU SEE THIS SHIT?? LOOK AT HOW GOOD MEDIC WRAPPED MY ARM. YES IT WAS BROKEN. YES ITS BECAUSE I TRIED TO JAM MY HAND UP THE TOILET HOLE AGAIN. SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR ILL SHOVE YOUR HAMSTRINGS DOWN YOUR THROAT. NOW LOOK!! MEDIC WRAPPED IT!!!! MY BABYGIRL DID THAT!!!!!!!" Soldier is so so proud of Medic. So completely head over heels for his big naturals bbg.

and Medic is just like. Ooh hooh! What a hunk of an endearingly brick-stupid man.

WAITTTT I LOVE THIS... Medic is quite possibly the most self-obsessed man ever put on the page and I think getting this kind of High Praise from Soldier reaaally goes to his head too. Like logically he knows it's Just a wound dressing he's not actually any better at it than anybody else, but in the part of his brain that's Medic-shaped (most of it) he's like maybe I AM the best bandage-wrapper of all time. Everything a hot person tells you must be true so yknow

#ask #anon #tf2 #soldier #medic #medisoldier #i am not calling it that other fuckin thing

[coarsely]

FEEL. -How does your character react to a persons touch? A random stranger’s? A loved one’s? A friend’s?

and

HUMBLE. -How does your muse handle praise?

:3

Oooh, so I'm gonna answer these for a few different characters!

FEEL. - How does your character react to a persons touch? A random stranger’s? A loved one’s? A friend’s?

Saccade lives in an incredibly rough area of Nod, so being touched by a stranger would definitely equate to "someone is trying to steal from you or kill you", and she'd probably break your nose or crack your head with her barbed-wire wrapped cane. To a loved one, she is much more relaxed, quietly reciprocating contact via rubbing her thumb over the backs of hands, or pressing foreheads together. To a friend, she'll gladly take a slap on the back and a firm handshake and possibly even a friendly kiss on the cheek from Diomede, but by and large she prefers to keep some sense of distance between her and other people, unless for some purpose or she really loves them.

Potentate Louis is about as high up the social rung as you can get, given that he is very literally Descended From God, so he is very rarely touched by anyone who isn't extremely trusted servants. To be touched by a stranger is an utmost violation, and could incur a punishment very easily. Even contact from his family (the closest thing he has to loved ones) is unnatural and uncommon, and would definitely freak him out. In a later chapter, he gets touched by a woman and it puts him into a fever like state where he has numerous dreams about cannibalising her, so he wouldn't take it well. And unfortunately he has no friends so I can't speculate on the last one </3

Diomede used to be quite comfortable with physical contact, being leader of the Vagor and having his elder brother with him all the time. Even if he didn't know you very well, he'd be happy to give a friendly handshake or an arm around the shoulders. Unfortunately, after being exiled, he's become a lot more reserved and a lot less naturalised to physical contact, so he'd recoil a lot faster these days. Due to being exiled, he had essentially no loved ones left, but was always fairly touchy with his family while they were there, often giving embraces and friendly kisses. He does yearn for physical touch and closeness the way he used to have, but that's one thing of many that he misses following his exile.

Dahra, like Saccade, lives in a fairly rough area of Nod and so has a similar reaction to being touched by strangers; immediately assumes the worst, so starts beating the shit out of you. Unlike Saccade, she has a more active social life, so is quite comfortable touching her friends and loved ones, in part because of her closeness to Ucalegon, who is also quite a physical and touchy person generally. Often, she'll casually rest her legs over the laps of different people, or rest her head against them, or seek physicality in other ways.

HUMBLE. - How does your muse handle praise?

For Saccade, it's all about the tone and who. In general she isn't someone who's going to care too much, as she's pretty confident in herself. Age has told her not to second-guess herself, and that self-doubt will kill her in Neo-Babylon. She's never relied on other people to tell her she's doing a good job or to be proud of her, and I could see her taking a lot of poorly worded praise as disingenuous, even patronising. But from people she genuinely likes, she does really appreciate it, even if she'd usually deflect with a joke or a threat she doesn't mean.

Potentate Louis, being a descendant of literal God, is heavily praised in a religious sense for his importance, holy flesh and spirit, divine power etc, but being praised for like, who he is as a person is an alien concept and one he would probably short circuit if he heard. I think it would actually leave him at a loss for words.

For Diomede, it depends on what. He's confident in a lot of things, particularly what he can do for other people; his weaponsmithing, his leadership, his cooking. In those cases, he takes it well but it doesn't stand out as anything important to think about, as he knows his worth in those areas. In other things though, that he's less certain about or doesn't think of himself as particularly successful at, like dancing, his occasional drag performances, or who he is as a person in general, he's a lot more flustered and disarmed by it. Being a leader for so long, he did rely on what other people thought of him and what other people saw in him, and that's carried on even after his banishment from the Vagor.

Dahra won't care if it's from some random or someone she's trying to manipulate (someone like Amhras or Vítor Cadogan), but from someone like Ucalegon who she majorly respects and admires, it's everything to her. While she's worked hard to never rely on anyone for anything ever again, she is at heart a traumatised young woman and being praised by the people she looks up to and tries to emulate is something she'd be very impacted by, and strive for. I think she's slightly aware of this in herself and hates it about her, but it doesn't stop her trying to impress Ucalegon either.

#thank you so much for sending these!!! #I loved answering them :) #saccade #potentate louis #diomede #dahra #answered

[sirfrogsworth]

I was bored in the hospital last night and for some reason I decided to debate some Matt Walsh transphobe jerks in a Twitter thread. Like here and here and here. I was holding my own but then the discussions turned into a "Study Off" as I like to call them. They post a link to a study saying medical transitions or puberty blockers are the worst. And then I have to counter with a newer better study that says they have decent positive outcomes. Then they say that study is bad. Then I have to find a different study. And it is just a tiring form of debate that never goes anywhere.

One study they referenced was a Swedish study that assessed how transgender surgeries from as far back as the 70s turned out. I was all, "You know they improved the surgeries a tiny bit from the frickin' 70s, right?" But also, it is really hard to gauge how effective transitioning can be when you can't factor out societal attitudes.

"They transitioned and for some reason they are still depressed! Clearly it doesn't work!"

Meanwhile, every red state in the country is basically trying to outlaw being trans.

The depression is a real mystery.

I never know how to pivot from a Study Off. I want to tell them I have friends and many many followers that have gone through medical transitions or done the puberty blockers and affirming care and it basically saved their lives. But the response to that will be "anecdotal evidence." Though I might have enough trans followers for a decent sample size.

But my point is, they don't ever talk to trans people to see how they feel about all this. When I ask, these people never actually know any trans people. They might debate a few online, but they don't *know* or befriend actual trans people.

I don't think you can truly understand the reality of something unless you talk to the people affected. I mean, *really* talk to them... without a character limit and barrier of anonymity.

I asked this guy if he knew any trans people or had any trans friends.

How can you judge something as "horrific" if you never actually talk to the people you are making wild speculations about?

He just created something in his head of what a trans person is and has no interest in seeking the reality of a trans existence. Apparently all trans people have been duped into a medical money making scheme. So none of them have the agency or self awareness to want transition?

I bet he purposely avoids getting to know any trans people because he doesn't want to lose this idea of them he has manufactured in his mind.

Manipulated and taken advantage of for profit, eh?

What do they think being transgender is? Organized religion?

I keep seeing conservative Christians call trans people delusional and living in a fantasy all while they believe in a magic man that walked on water. They see people speaking in tongues and think that is normal. They watch faith healers scam people and praise the Holy Ghost. They are told if they tithe all their money they will be rewarded with prosperity instead of just incurring more debt. They see their megachurch preacher owning 20 supercars and a private jet and don't question the money they gave. They see Rhianna in a red outfit at the Superbowl and are convinced she is in league with Satan. They think being queer can create disastrous storms.

Maybe they aren't the ones who should be policing delusion.

They are the ones that have been duped into a money making scheme. Matt Walsh and the like are profiting off this hatred and everyone that buys into that hatred, they are the ones being manipulated. They are being told they are "saving children" from mutilation and castration and you can learn more after buying the Matt Walsh movie and his book of the movie. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and buy merch too.

It's all to save the kids! (Until they become 18 and then they are adult trans and thus, the enemy.)

"How can we help the least amount of kids that don't actually want or need our help?"

#trigger warning #transphobia