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your-astro-mami · 3 years

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Red flags in a birth chart for a guy?

The ones I list can be a red flag for everyone - I don't like the term re flag, but these placements in a chart could show that a person can be either prone to toxic behaviours or attract people who are:

Moon or Venus in the 12th House or any strong Moon or Venus-Neptune aspects

Although they are in no way toxic by themselves, they may have real trouble when it comes to the people they surround themselves with, the people they choose as partners. They can be very vulnerable and naive, lack a realistic image of others. So if you are dating them it may be frustrating that they have no idea when people are trying to take advantage of them. Not a red flag, but a heads up for people dating someone with these or people who have these - Be more cautious of people.

Any Mars-Uranus-Pluto hard aspect

Anger issues. They may not get angry easily, but when they do it will either be uncontrollable (Uranus) or extremely intense, vengeful (Pluto). Someone with Uranus aspecting Mars or Pluto may take very unexpected action, they can also be very apathetic when it comes to anger which may make them rationalize anything bad they do. Mars-Pluto aspects can have deeply emotional anger, they can get very affected, they remember anything bad you've done, they may take revenge for something that has happened 20 years ago. Also a Scorpio Mars quality.

Moon-Mars aspects can be troublesome due to acting out based on their emotions = you once again don't know what to expect. It can also show hard time connecting emotionally to sexual partners or having a hard time viewing people you emotionally connect to as sexual partners.

Anything squaring Saturn (especially Moon or Mars)

Not a red flag, but it's a sign that if you cross them even once, it's over. They have no trouble cutting people off. With Moon-Saturn square, they have no trouble saying goodbye no matter what their heart is telling them, no matter how much they suffer. Mars-Saturn squares are generally cold. Once they decide it's over, it's over forever.

Chiron or Lilith in the 7th House or conjunct Venus

Anything in the 7th House can be very reflective. In many cases it's either you are prone to having these qualities in relationships or attracting people who have these qualities in a relationship with you. With Chiron, people can either bring all of their personal pain, "baggage" into their relationship or attract people who bring pain and baggage. Chiron is not bad, it's the unwounded healer, it's the one who tries to get better, learn their lessons, heal themselves and those around them, but before he manages to do that he may have great troubles with their past, have hidden unresolved issues, bitterness.

Lilith in the 7th House in a chart, especially in a guy from what I have observed, can show that he attracts people who are highly sexual, dominant, manipulative, dangerous in a way or he is the one who is prone to these behaviours in relationships. Kurt Cobain can be a good example for the first. Lilith in 7th also may have troubles with harmony, equality in the relationship, issues may underly for a long time, then everything can get out of hand. Can also be a sign of infidelity, having a mistress/being one.

The Chiron-Venus or Lilith-Venus conjunctions are definitely more focused on the self and how people act in relationships.

Mars, Pluto in the 7th House

This will be a bit too generalized, but:

Mars can be very dominant, he likes to lead - in relationships Mars in 7th can be too demaning, sometimes aggressive or attract people with these qualities. It can also show having relationships with a lot of fighting.

Pluto in 7th, being obsessive with relationships or attracting obsessive people. One of the "stalker" aspects.

Saturn in 7th can also show being very controlling in relationships or attracting people who are very controlling, cold, usually older.

Harsh aspect(square, opposite) between Lilith and Juno in a guy can show that he may have the Madonna-Whore complex (seriosuly fascinating, read about it), which means that he may have trouble viewing a wife or a mother in a sexual way, making distinction between a partner and a sexual partner, which in itself can be troublesome. It's basically wife versus mistress.

Venus opposite or square Mars can show that they have very different needs for a romantic versus a sexual partner, it can be a sign that if they pursue you sexually they may have a hard time liking you romantically.

It all depends on other stuff, but this is just a heads up.

All in all, I don't necessarily consider these placements red flags, but if you have them or your partner has them, you have to be cautious of certain behaviours.

#astrology #synastry #red flags #zodiac signs #aries #gay #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scopio #sagittarius #taurus #aquarius #pisces #saturn #pluto #lilith #chiron #7th house #mars #moon

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gryffindors-heir · 3 years

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Harry Potter Characters and Their Kinks

Marauders Edition...

What can I say, I like marauders era content.

Lily

We start with one of my favorite ladies

She's into being dominant, she is a switch but always leans towards domming

Into hair pulling whether yours or having hers pulled

Kind of a brat tamer, loves fighting her partner for dominance and control

Very much a giver and I think she'd be down for both edging and orgasm denial

I think when she does feel subby, she likes thigh riding and just generally being taken care of

Marlene

For me Marlene is honestly a sub, and like hella gay. Sorry men, but she would think you're 🤢

Probably likes impact play, getting slapped or spanked is more her style, nothing like flogging though, that's ouchy

Likes getting choked, and like collars. She would be down to always wearing a choker/collar that her partner gave her

Very much a giver, likes being pushed around in the bedroom and is immaculate at giving head.

Likes to be looked in the eyes. That's not a kink but she likes it

Honestly she need praise, like so much praise, but like call her your "pretty little slut" or something

James

He is in fact a switch, but he's only really submissive for Lily

He would call her mommy, but would expect anyone else to call him daddy or sir. Prefers sir

Kinda into power play and also likes to fight for power, he is a hella brat when subbing

Choking, I got this headcanon from @randomoutsiders that the boys have rings with their animagus forms on them, likes leaving his imprint on his partner

Honestly I think that he's rough, but Sirius and Remus can be way rougher

Sirius

Let me get one thing clear

C O R R U P T I O N K I N K

Very into sweet shy people and turning them into whiny whores

Very dominant, will rarely sub pre-azkaban

Post Azkaban he just wants to be loved and held

He is very into choking, spanking, and honestly would probably be into his partner having a collar and leash so he can pull them towards him.

Breeding kink as well, he is very scared to be a father, but if you can get pregnant he will long to see you with his child. If not them it's all good, the dirty talk is still hot to him

Also likes being called sir or just something with authority

Likes his hair pulled

Remus

Also has a breeding kink, let's be real

Even if he wasn't a werewolf, he'd have one

Is very much a loving, caring dom, but holy hell you break the rules he shows no mercy

Especially when he's older, loves to watch his partner squirm

I like the idea that he'll tie you up to the bed or something and enchant a toy to just barely get you on the cusp of coming, and just sit and do paperwork while you beg

He is very patient, but near the full moon it's constantly running thin, so try to behave

Is the king of aftercare

Peter

I know I know, ew right? Well too bad, my fancast for him is a young Damon Albarn and like...

Look at him he's hot, so we have to.

Honestly pretty vanilla compared to the rest of the marauders

Probably into degrading his partner very heavily

Might even be into exhibitionism tbh, I can kind of see it. That or like into close call situations

Like fucking in an abandoned hallway and you guys hear footsteps nearby

Not great at aftercare I will say, but honestly if you teach him he gets much better at it

If he subs he will get pegged and will call a partner a name (like y'know mommy/sir/mistress, whatever floats your boat) and is honestly too eager to please

Regulus

A switch (only cuz I like being dommed and I love him so much)

He is very kind and loving for the most part and very shy about sex. He's very pretty and even though plenty of people like him, he's an introvert and just doesn't want to be around, let alone fuck, the people into him.

Would probably sub the first time he's with someone, trying his hardest to remember everything they like. He's a quick learner so he gets it fast.

Likes to pull hair a lot of he can, big on touching in general

Sex is about love to him

Now if he's in a bad mood or jealous? Will shove you around, insult you, mix in some praise

He might be into waxplay, like I can see him experimenting with temp play in general

He will try many kinks out just for his partner

I can also see him being into shibari as just kind of a relaxing thing, he likes art and shibari is very artful

Minor breeding kink, no where near Sirius though. Though it could also be he just likes cumming in his partner.

Might be into marking his partner (bruises, bites, etc.) But never in areas where others will see, it's just between him and his lover. Their little secret

Lucius

Pet play, nuff said, but I will elaborate

Likes calling his partner things like kitty and bunny

Would get a costume and everything.

Gets them a little cage too if they don't mind going that far

He is a dom, no exceptions

Very strict, can be very harsh, but after a scene runs a bubble bath and gets you some tea to soothe your throat

Definitely has a breeding kink

Can only be addressed as master (or sir if you aren't comfy with that) when doing a scene

Might be into some roleplay, especially when older

I honestly think he could have a thing for flogging, like have you seen that cane?

Honestly has a thing for chubby women, likes how soft just chubby people in general are, but especially women. Would cherish and take care of his partner.

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efrmellifer · 4 years

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Telling the Bees

“Telling the bees is a traditional European custom in which bees would be told of important events in their keeper's lives, such as births, marriages, or departures and returns in the household.”

This was the idea I had. Several of them. I remembered!

Her time on the First had affected Etien’s process of waking up. She was more aware now of the ambient environment before she even opened her eyes.

Smells—well, there were other reasons she was more sensitive to smells now, but still—hit her while she stayed silent, stationary, eyes closed. No sharp nose-stinging Sin Eater smell, nothing floating on an eternal Crystarium wind, just the familiar scent of wood smoke and a comforting, light birch-and-parchment fragrance.

Combined with the warmth that surrounded her, Etien knew that when she opened her eyes, it would be to see her home.

And indeed it was. As her eyelids lifted, it was to Aymeric brushing back a lock of her hair from her eyes.

“Well, good morning, ser,” she said with a giggle. “You’re up a little early.”

“I am. I was thinking.”

“Oh? What about?” She moved to sit up.

Aymeric gestured for her to stay lying down. “Please, stay in bed. You weren’t going anywhere, were you?”

“Well, the construction of the Abacus—”

“...will continue without your contributions, my dearest.” He leaned across the space between them to kiss her forehead. “You’ve saved Ishgard already, you can let other people fix her up.” He gave her a sweet smile. “After all, you have your own hard work to do building new living beings.”

Etien looked down at her stomach, even though there was still nothing there to see. “I suppose. Am I barred from the Diadem completely?”

Aymeric thought, gaze sliding from Etien’s face to the corner of his eyes. “No, not completely. But please make those excursions short.”

Etien nodded. “All right. So what was it that you had been thinking about?”

Now he cleared his throat, a look of slight frustration coming over his face as he returned to the problem he’d been turning over in his mind while Etien slept. “How we’re going to… break the news. We were quick to announce the engagement. And we were very publicly married; three-quarters of the city was there. But this one is rather more sticky.”

Etien tilted her head. “Is it?”

“Unfortunately. Pregnancy is a rather quietly conducted affair in Ishgard. Not for shame reasons—well. Shame certainly can play a role in the hushed nature. You heard the story of Hilda’s mother. But mostly it’s the climate. Nearing ten years of constant winter is harsh, but the dragons were harsher. Even if the Temple Knights are always itching for ranks to be filled, best not to get our hopes up. Though, we have no need to fear dragons now. Thanks to you, I might add.”

Etien sighed. “I see.”

“It’s early yet, is all,” Aymeric said in an attempt to soothe her. “Though, in my opinion, that is no reason for us not to tell our nearest and dearest the good news. Which leaves us with two main concerns: Lord Edmont and Estinien.”

II.

Estinien let himself in, like he usually did, and wasn’t very surprised by the sight of Etien perched on the loveseat like she usually was, but there was something off about it.

It didn’t feel wrong or bad, just different in a way he couldn’t put his finger on.

He shed his coat, though, hanging it by the door by Etien and Aymeric’s everyday outerwear, and then made his way back to join Etien, sitting down.

“Do you want coffee, Estinien?”

“Not if you have to go to trouble for it.”

The way Etien’s eyelids lifted, as if in shock, only added to the mystery of the situation, but as she stammered her way through an “I— well— all right. But don’t hesitate to ask,” Estinien was already settling again.

“Is everything all right?” he asked her. “You have this air of frisson, and I’ve followed you into situations much more dangerous than this.”

She swallowed, lifting a hand to cover her mouth. “Everything is fine.” She took a deep breath, then gave him a smile. “I’m not trying to worry you, I’m sorry.”

He sat back in his chair.

Aymeric came into the room then, carrying a tray. He greeted Estinien, then put the tray down on the table and started unloading it. First, he placed down the pot of rooibos tea in front of Etien, and she smiled again, thanking him.

As Aymeric kept working, Estinien commented with a little snort,“One would think you were the viscountess by birth, and him your humble servant-come-lover arrived from the Shroud.”

Etien giggled. “I promise you, I don’t ask him to do this. I’m certainly not about to kick these shoes off and use him as a footstool or any of that nonsense. No, he, uh—well, he does it because of what I’m about to tell you.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“We’re…” Her ears flattened. “I’m expecting.”

“Why the nerves? It’s not mine, is it?”

She choked on her tea just as Aymeric sat down next to her, setting a hand on her back. She lifted a hand to signify she was okay, but he didn’t remove his hand, just rubbed her back as she started to speak.

“There’s no way of knowing that until they’re born,” she said, playing with the handle of her teacup. “And the likelihood of it is down to calculations, I think. Not something I thought much about.”

“Nor should you, really. I forget sometimes how you respond to even light jests when you’re already on edge.” He glanced down to the teapots, then up to Aymeric. “Might I have a cup of that?”

He poured Estinien a cup of tea, laughing softly (as he always did) when Estinien’s nose crinkled after the first sip.

“I still don’t understand how you two drink this,” he grumbled into the delicate china.

Etien giggled before taking another sip of her tea. “Even before now, my hands shake if I have too much, which is dangerous in my line of work.”

“A line of work that surely you’ll be temporarily removed from?” he asked, eyebrows lifting.

“Well, yes,” she responded with a sigh. “Can’t say I’ll miss all of it. But I will be taking a break. Aymeric is going to be making sure of it.”

“Good. Someone has to keep you still for five minutes.”

“You know, I do miss Ishgard when I’m not here. I’ll enjoy the break, and getting to be here for longer than a moon at a time.”

“So long as we’re all happy about this.”

“Are we?” she asked, inner corners of her eyebrows pitching upwards.

Estinien rose from his seat, coming to a knee in front of her. With a grin that indicated the slight degree of sarcasm, he took her hand. “Mistress Mellifer, or Lady Borel, if you prefer—” he laughed when she flustered— “I’m thrilled for the two of you.”

III.

There was an almost amusing degree of awkwardness as Etien and Aymeric sat down in the foyer of Fortemps Manor.

Still, this took much less bravery than confronting the Archbishop had, or facing the True Brotherhood of the Faith.

So, hands entwined, both with palms sweating, they delivered the good news to the grandfather-to-be.

“Lord Edmont...er, Father. We have some news for you,” Etien began.

He sat down, keen to hear what they had to share with him. “News from the two of you? That is nearly a guarantee of something exciting.”

“A little more exciting for us and our family, to be sure,” Aymeric agreed. “In any event, we came to tell you that in a matter of moons, the family is going to be growing. We aren’t sure yet by how many. Apparently, it’s difficult to gauge the size of Miqo’te litters until much later in the pregnancy.”

A long pause extended between the two couches. As the seconds ticked by, Etien sank her teeth into her lip as she waited for Edmont’s reaction. She didn’t harbor any fear of a negative reaction—that would be highly irregular compared to everything up to this point, to begin with—but she was hoping this surprise wasn’t too much to take in.

He beamed. “Oh, how wonderful! I did wonder when this day would arrive, and it has so much sooner than I dared to hope. I take it you’ve been confined to Borel Manor for the foreseeable future, barring any emergencies?”

Etien laughed. “Not quite. As far as I’m aware, I’m still allowed to take some light travel for a little while longer, and then be reassessed later on. Then I will be corralled into Ishgard, if not the house, until my due date. Whenever that ends up being. Hard to calculate now.”

“My goodness, you really do set out to break every barrier put before you, don’t you?” Edmont asked, fondness in his tone. “Forging peace, righting wrongs committed years to a millennium ago, and now as always, defying the odds. I must admit, I half-expected you to be out there working to rebuild the Firmament by yourself.”

“She did nearly attempt to start that the other day,” Aymeric said dryly.

“Ah. Well, no surprise there.” He laughed. “Help Halone out a little as She keeps you, and take things at a speed slightly slower than breakneck, just this once. For all of us.”

Etien let her eyes shut as she nodded. “I will.”

IV.

When Feo Ul had promised that there was always the realm of the dreams, they had been completely serious, and Etien was glad of it. They happened to come for a visit, all bubbles and brightness, on a night where she had been struggling to fall asleep.

“Feo!” She cried, wrapping them up in a hug. “You have impeccable timing.”

“And you do not, my sapling. I’ve been trying to get into your dreams for ages! What kept you up so late? What burdens your heart?”

“Oh, physical discomforts,” she sighed. She’d been doing a fair amount of sighing again. “Just hard to get rest now, I suppose.”

“Shall I have Thon Sul see what they can do for you? As long as we remain here in the dream realm, you’ll have sweet, peaceful sleep, but if getting here is what’s giving you trouble…”

“I don’t know if they can help me. They certainly can’t—Feo, there was something I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh? Have you taken an especially eventful journey you wish to tell me of?”

“Well, I haven’t taken it yet,” Etien said. “But I wanted you to know. The fae like to be kept apprised of these sorts of things, don’t they?”

Feo Ul’s eyes lit up as their expression grew even more keen. “What new path is my ephemeral flower about to embark upon? I stand ready to bestow my blessings!”

She smiled. “Thank you, Feo.” She took a deep breath. “I’m—”

“Oh, don’t tell me!” They chirped, fluttering around her. “You do have that glow.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” Etien replied with a laugh.

“Good, because it’s true. Already you wear the mantle so well. As you wore those placed upon you in your time here.” They paused, looking her in the eyes. “Remember what I told you, about the moment and place you’re in. From what I hear, it goes by fast for you mortals.” They floated lower than Etien’s eye level then, laying their hands just under her breastbone. “I can’t make a pact with them like I did with you, but they’re just as blessed by the fae.” With a nod, they rose again, gazing into Etien’s misty eyes. “Oh my sapling, you have no idea how glad I am those are tears of joy. I worried so when you cried before.”

Etien wiped at her eyes. “What cause would I have to cry now, Feo? I have the best of the worlds here at my fingertips, at the fringes of my mind.”

“And here we’ll remain,” they assured her. “Now, get your rest. You’ll need it for your new adventure.”

With a light sigh, Etien did as she was told, mind eased by the dream spun around her, and the dreams she had coming true.

#fic #Aytien #Wyrmelliferel #Unicorn Fam #tw pregnancy #it's just mentioned a BUNCH #got in my Feo Feelings again #I still need a tag for them

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elegantyoungmaster · 4 years

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Safe With Me.

-[continued]-

It was rare that drama spilled over when he visited with the Ouyang's because he was a Sect Leader and they always tended to have their best foot forward. Jin Ling enjoyed Bailing, because it was a chance to get away and breath--he had needed Zizhen's help because if he was going to properly organize a wedding he would need someone he trusted to help . He had sent a letter asking if he could visit all formally done, since he did not want to get Zizhen in any trouble by just showing up--he sometimes missed their childhood, when his being heir never mattered, but now him being Sect Leader did. It also meant that suddenly Sect Leader Ouyang thought he wasn't a good influence on his only son.

Jin Ling respectfully disagreed.

He helped the boy have a backbrone he would put himself between Sect Leader Ouyang and his only child without hesitation. Zizhen was his sworn brother, this happened after a particularly terrible Night Hunt. One of their firsts, if anyone asked him. Zizhen was his brother Jin Ling did not believe in half-siblings and if you were a sworn brother you were even better then a brother, as he had told Zizhen, because I chose you and you chose me. Sect Leader Ouyang wouldn't want him, an orphaned boy who put on airs, who came from a seemingly cursed line, who was going to marry another boy. He figured Zizhen's father thought he'd talk him into marrying a boy or something. Which was enough to cause him to bite back his temper. Jin Ling had never been particular interested in boy's or girl's. He figured he'd be solitary. Until Sizhui looked at him in a certain way. He still didn't think of other people as attractive in THAT way. So he figured for him it was Sizhui for him.

He could always bring a social problem he was having to Zizhen, like the courting, like the help with the wedding, though that was more because he was his brother. Jin Ling had confessed more things to Zizhen then most people. They could share their inner turmoil and talk about feeling’s of inadequacy or less then worthy. Jin Ling inherited his from being an orphan which was tragic--Zizhen had gotten his from his father which in the Jin Sect Leader's view was far WORSE because that man willingly did this to his son. Jin Ling would listen and not judge, would hold his hair back when he drank to much and it got it's revenge he would make sure he was tucked in. They shared views they wanted to make the world better, better for the next generation, better for the common folk who had suffered terribly, but many of the Sect Leader's had willing chose t turn a blind eye to how it was.

Harvests that never came in because they couldn't pay to get help. Land that was plagued with monsters because they could not afford the steep rates of some Sects. Hadn't they formed Sects to help those who needed it. Now all that spoke was wealth. His own Sect was terrible for it. They had amassed so much treasure, gold, and land holdings. He used it discreetly, no one could say he was trying to turn the faith of their commoners if they didn't know it was him or his sect involved. He and Zizhen had plans. They would see them through.

Jin Ling was not meant to hear the conversation at hand. He had been in the kitchen with Madam Ouyang she was making almond cookies and those were one of Jin Ling's favorites. He had been learning the recipe. So when he heard all the mean things that was said about him, to Zizhen his eyes darkened. Madam Ouyang looked pale and sad she had given Jin Ling a hug she couldn't change the mind of her husband any more then her son could. It was just a case of him causing grief for himself and she would offer words of comfort where she could. "He's not bad, he's just narrow minded, a reflection of his own youth." she had said to him before disappearing back into the kitchen.

He begged to differ. You never saw your other half in a bad light. He knew this. He would never say she was wrong. If he did he would expect a smack across the face or worse. Slandering a spouse was wrong. Still, Jin Ling stepped into the room when he saw Zizhen exit outside. Angular features gave him the cast of a fox at the best of times and golden eyes only added to the picture. Jin Ling didn't give the man a chance to speak and he stalked like a predator.

"You may have an issue with me Sect Leader, and when you do I would appreciate you address me directly with it. I have never indicated I would do anything to you or yours, Zizhen is like a brother to me, and on that front your getting this one and only warning because I would not hesitate to take the head of any man who hurt my siblings as many times as you have. The person here who is a disappointment is you." he said coldly "You cling to a glory past that is past, you fight change, are you waiting for some great war that will never come to reclaim some form of your fading youth ?" he demanded "Some great event that will make you relevant ?" he continued in the same harsh tone, his golden eyes practically glowed in his face. "I have heard it all, I am ill bred, a little mistress, a dainty little miss, a brat..people have made fun of my loss of parents for as long as I can remember...its all relevant is it correct ? " he shrugged "Maybe, maybe not. The difference between us, is I don't give a damn what people say about me, what they think about me. You are bullied into your position by people who can't see anything but what they can get out of a situation, it was never suppose to be like this." a breath followed. "If I find out that you have hurt MY brother again. I will come here, with my disciples and I will remove you from your duties Sect Leader. You want to see what dark path I can walk down, how much of the Yiling Patriarch is in me. How much like GuangYao I am...keep poking the fox in the hen house." he bowed and spun on his heels. “I will see myself out.”

Leaving what he knew was a seething Sect Leader behind him.

He found him looking out over the water and he composed himself from his temper. His cheeks still burned as he join his Sworn Brother by the water. He knew it was rough it was why he had to tell him he'd always be safe with him. With them. He, Sizhui, Jingyi...even Fairy. Jin Ling looked up, he always did the stars were his friends, they were dear to him. They were the many constellations, the moon was a glowing orb of kindness giving him its blessing when he could not sleep, lighting those places that made him feel dark.

Jin Ling leaned against him an arm went gently around his shoulders. He didn't offer an explanation, he didn't need to. Zizhen knew what he meant. He added "You deserve better then how he treats you.' his tone soft "I will see to it that you are." he added seriously. "I heard what he said about me. " his golden eyes flickered up to the other boy's. "I am sure some of it is true, but the difference is I am not completely grown yet, they make fun of the very barrier's that I am still learning to jump over, I thought at one time it was me lacking.." he said "I discovered its not, its that generation. They all lack a certain common ground with our generation, they are driven by power, by wealth and by the general childish ME, ME , ME , ME." he shook his head "They have become to set in their ways."

He glanced at the nudge to him and offered a quirk of his lips. "I am allowed to get just this sentimental with you." he protested nudging him back. "I have good authority that I might be a little softer around the edges." he gave that small faint chuckle. "Your not fine, A-Zhen." he his gaze was intent "And its alright not to be." he said "It's alright to hurt, its alright to cry...It's alright to be you, because you are you, and that is unique and wonderful. Words wound, and they can cut as sharp as any sword." he was still looking forward at the moon. "This is why we have friends, this is why we were given Sworn Brothers." he continued "You can share the burden and let me help you with it, two sets of shoulders are stronger then one."

@evcryopeneye [ Ouyang Zizhen ]

#Verse: When the Stars Go Blue #evcryopeneye #Ouyang Zizhen #[Ouch my feels ]#[this got long ]#[ he has your back ]

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lizabethstucker · 4 years

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The SFWA Grand Masters,Vol. 1

Edited by Frederik Pohl

Pohl has selected eighteen short stories and novellas written by the first five Grand Masters ever selected by the Science Fiction Writers of America: Robert A. Heinlein, Jack Williamson, Clifford D. Simak, L. Sprague de Camp, and Fritz Leiber. A great debt is owed to Jerry Pournelle for this recognition of the best of the best and to Frederik Pohl for both introducing and reintroducing me to these authors in one handy volume. Actually, in three volumes as I know there is one more to be searched out in the interlibrary world.

Thanks to my library’s willingness to go out of state, I can read the first volume in this series, having started off 2020 with Volume Two. Thank you also to the Woodridge Public Library in Woodridge, Illinois. Now I need to find the third volume. 4 out of 5

We start out with Robert A. Heinlein. I can still remember the first Heinlein that I read, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. My memory is so clear that I can recall to this day seeing it on the library shelf when I was working through a list of Golden Age writers that my father thought I should check out. I understand how controversial he is to many readers, but I always found that his stories were worth reading, even when some of the plotlines were uncomfortable (I’m thinking primarily of Farnham’s Freehold). Even if I didn’t agree with his ideas explored in his books and short stories, they made me think.

“The Roads Must Roll” by Robert A. Heinlein

(Future History 3) The United States had moved from automobiles to solar-powered people movers beginning when oil and gasoline were rationed during World War II. It led to less pollution, a spreading out of the population from the congestion of the cities, and a working class who were ripe for agitation by self-serving megalomaniacs with self-worth issues like Shorty Van Kleeck. It is up to Larry Gaines, the Chief Engineer, to stop the destruction and disruption of the roads. Heinlein is remarkably prescient in this 1940 tale, predicting the congestion of the automobiles and their increasing dangers as well as the importance of solar energy. It’s a shame such people movers, whether this style or high-speed trains are kept from actually being implemented. It is also true that the disenfranchised can be easily manipulated. Just look at our current political environment, not just in the United States and Great Britain. A brilliant tale. I can see the workers being militarized considering how a minor disruption, much less a major one, could not only bring the nation to a halt, it could have serious and deadly ramifications. 4.5 out of 5.

“The Year of the Jackpot” by Robert A. Heinlein

Statistician Potiphar Breen has been taking note of strange and unusual events, including a large number of women taking their clothing off in public. Meade Barstow, the latest befuddled stripper, is seen by Pot. Pot intervenes when the police arrive, offering to take care of her and see her safely home. Instead, when she is worried about what her landlady will say, he brings her to his home so that she can put herself back together. Meade agrees to answer his questions for his kindness. Pot reveals what he believes the numbers are telling him, that the planet is facing something that scares him. Intense, sad, and entirely too realistic. The idea of cycles with world events both good and bad is all too true. The gentle romance between Meade and Pot was a lovely addition. Side note: I was surprised to see the inclusion of transvestites in this story published in 1951. Heinlein treated the couple and the subject in a much nicer manner than I might have expected. I wonder why they were included as they weren't truly needed, nor was the subject of needed for his argument. Others could've sufficed. This was a first time read for me, as is the next story. 4 out of 5.

“Jerry Was a Man” by Robert A. Heinlein

When Martha van Vogel accompanied her husband to a genetics lab that alters DNA to make workers out of apes and vanity pets, she was unaware of how the mutated ape workers were treated once they were no longer useful, that they were euthanized. After raising hell, Martha is allowed to take one of the younger workers, whose eyesight had him put in the death pen, home with her against her husband’s wishes. Refusing to look the other way, Martha fights all the way to court to not only get Jerry free of the lab, but to help keep all the others alive, leading to a precedent making court case. This is an incredibly uncomfortable story on so many fronts. I found it most disturbing that Jerry’s speech pattern is a caricature of poor uneducated blacks. I understand that this was intentional on the part of Heinlein. I’m hoping that it was to give his readers a unique viewpoint into their prejudices, especially considering that the story was copyrighted in 1947. Especially with the return of black American soldiers from World War II to a country that still considered them as less than human. 3.5 out of 5.

“The Farthest Place” by Robert A. Heinlein

(Extract from Tramp Royale) This is non-fiction, an account of the Heinleins and their visit to Tristan da Cunha when the tramp steamer they are on makes a call there. The island is in the South Atlantic, over 1500 miles from the nearest other community. I may have enjoyed this excerpt, but in another context. However, this is a collection of science fiction and fantasy. This particular piece really had no reason to be included. I decline to rate it.

“The Long Watch” by Robert A. Heinlein

Lieutenant Johnny Dahlquist was approached by Colonel Towers regarding the danger of having politicians in control back on Earth, that the Guard should oversee keeping the planet safe. Towers wants Johnny’s expertise as junior bomb officer in his rebellious group. While Johnny saw his point about the instability of politicians in general, he couldn’t agree to use his bombs to make a point, a point that would lead to the deaths of innocent people. He had to make the bombs unusable, then hold watch until a ship from Earth will arrive in approximately four days. This story … Heinlein literally reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. My notebook still shows the faint marks of tears. There are many types of heroism. John Ezra Dahlquist is a fine example of doing what is right even when others try to dissuade you. (You should also look up Rodger Young on Google. I was unaware of this Medal of Honor recipient until this story.) 5 out of 5.

Next is Jack Williamson, another writer from the Golden Age of Science Fiction. And yet, somehow, I never have read any of Jack’s works. Based on these stories, that was a great crime.

“With Folded Hands” by Jack Williamson

(Humanoids .5) Poor Underhill is already struggling to keep his android business afloat. Now a new company has suddenly appeared, providing slick new humanoids that are taking over the town of Two Rivers. His new boarder, Mr. Sledge, claims to be an inventor. The new humanoids are known by him and he appears to be frightened of them. Williamson explores how actions, discoveries, and inventions meant to make man’s life better can sometimes serve to harm him. The story, published in 1947, is even more relevant today considering the growth of A.I.s and robots. This really is as much horror as it is science fiction, terrifying on a deep level for those aware how close we are to this possible future. 3.5 out of 5.

“Jamboree” by Jack Williamson

A robot self-called Pops is Scout Master of boys from birth to the age of 12. Periodically it takes the boys to a Jamboree to meet Mother. Younger boys can indulge in pink ice cream and gold stars plastered on their faces. For the oldest boys, it will be their last Jamboree. But one boy thinks there is a way to stop the cycle. Another tale of robots making decisions for the good of mankind. A very different take. 3.5 out of 5.

“The Manana Literary Society” by Jack Williamson

(Excerpt from Wonder’s Child: My Life in Science Fiction) Another piece of non-fiction, but at least it is about science fiction. Once again, I find it out of place and will not rate it. The selection is, however, a good look at the Los Angeles science fiction scene.

“The Firefly Tree” by Jack Williamson

Forced to move with his family to his grandfather’s farm, the unnamed protagonist is without friends, home-schooled, and lonely. Then he finds an interesting plant that his father calls a weed. He is moved to save the plant from destruction and nurtures it until it grows into a tree. One night he goes out to find the tree covered with fireflies. He begins to dream of them, hearing who they are and what they are there ready to do. Doesn’t Jack ever write happy endings? Any at all? As a child who was a loner and lived in a neighborhood with no children near my age, I could relate to this young boy. Truly engrossing. 3.5 out of 5.

Now on to Clifford D. Simak. I’ve read some of his short stories, but it was a long time ago. I don’t remember much of his style or even whether I liked his works or not.

“Desertion” by Clifford D. Simak

To explore the planet of Jupiter, men are physically converted into one of the more intelligent native species, the Lopers. The last five men sent out by Kent Fowler, the head of the survey project, haven't returned. The exploration must continue, but Fowler can't face sending another man out to what appears to be certain death, so he decides to go in their place, accompanied by his elderly dog. This was a beautiful story. I wish it had been longer. 4 out of 5.

“Founding Father” by Clifford D. Simak

Mankind wants to spread out among the stars, to colonize other planets, but the amount of time that would need to be spent on a spaceship would be an issue. Immortals have no problems with time per se, but the loneliness is another matter. A solution was found, a solution meant to be a temporary fix. But what happens with temporary when that is over one hundred years? Whoa, this might’ve been short, but it was so intense, thought-provoking, and a bit sad. Winston-Kirby will have some decisions to make regarding comfort or duty. 4 out of 5.

“Grotto of the Dancing Deer” by Clifford D. Simak

Archaeologist Boyd discovers a hidden fissure at his latest sight, one filled with fantastical and irreverent art. He also finds something else, something impossible. And yet. Another fascinating story with a deep well of sadness and depressing loneliness in a different way than the previous story. 4 out of 5.

L. Sprague de Camp is a writer that I used to read quite a bit of, mostly his earlier works in short story collections. And the Conan books he finished from Robert Howard’s notes and uncompleted manuscripts. Frankly, I found de Camp’s renditions to be better written, although I know that is heresy for some.

“A Gun for Dinosaur” by L. Sprague de Camp

When a time machine is invented, one that can’t go back to a time more recent than 100,000 years ago, a big part of its users are big game hunters taking clients back to kill a dinosaur for trophy. Rivers, of Rivers and Aiyar, one of those hunters, explains to a potential client why he has strict rules about who he’ll take back to what periods based on size and ability to use a particular caliber weapon. All I can say is poor August, braver than he thought he was, and how Courtney deserved everything he got and more. Entitled asshole. 3.5 out of 5

“Little Green Men from Afar” by L. Sprague de Camp

A non-fiction look into the persistent myths, legends, and outright lies that still garner hopeful believers, from flying saucers to the Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis to cults. I do like the five criteria given by Francis F. Broman regarding any and every story: 1) the report be firsthand; 2) the teller shows no obvious bias or prejudice; 3) that the reporter be a trained observer; 4) that the data be available for checking; and 5) that the teller be clearly identified. I’ve enjoyed many a hour reading von Daniken and the various UFO books, but they have always clearly be put in the fantasy fiction category for me, fun if not taken seriously. Again, no rating for a non-fiction piece in a fiction collection. I’m particularly disappointed as de Camp is left with just two fiction pieces as an introduction to his works.

“Living Fossil” by L. Sprague de Camp

Nawputta, a zoologist, and Chujee, his guide, are searching the Alleghany Mountains for interesting specimans and signs of the cities of Man, long extinct, when they meet a suspicious explorer. They also stumble across something they didn’t expect. Cute. Obvious, but still very fun to read. 3.5 out of 5.

Fritz Leiber is the author of a favorite series from my early 20s. While my father was devouring Conan the Barbarian, I was deep into Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser. Strangely enough, I don’t think I read anything else by Leiber in those days or later. So many books, so little time, so few selections at the libraries with whom I had memberships.

“Sanity” by Fritz Leiber

World Manager Carrsbury had researched and planned and schemed for ten years to understand insanity and to replace all the members of the World Management Service with his own people, all of whom had been trained under his exacting guidelines. Just as he had directed the world’s citizens in what they could read, watch, drink, and do in their daily lives. Or so he thought had been done. Leiber’s look at sanity is fascinating and a bit disturbing. Add a backdrop of world government and you have a thoughtful and frightening tale that resonates today. 4 out of 5.

“The Mer She” by Fritz Leiber

(Fafhrd & the Gray Mouser) The Gray Mouser was sailing home to Cif and Fafhrd, his holds filled with treasure and good as befits a successful merchant. When he discovers a stowaway in a chest, he must fight his way through magic if he ever hopes to see his island home again. It has been an extraordinarily long time since I’ve visited this series. The language is as flowery and somewhat archaic as ever, but I missed the boys working together. It just doesn’t have the same punch without that. 3 out of 5.

“A Bad Day for Sales” by Fritz Leiber

Robie, the first sales robot, is on the street, but having a hard time making sales. Then things get a lot worse. Very short, very cute even with that "worse" part. 3.5 out of 5.

#book review #The SFWA Grand Masters #science fiction collection #science fiction #fantasy #Frederik Pohl #Robert A. Heinlein #Jack Williamson #Fritz Leiber #L. Sprague de Camp #Clifford D. Simak #short story collection

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nemesis-nexus · 4 years

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Darkest Greetings and Salutations My Family, how is everyone? I am doing fabulously, I have a new lease on life and I feel great, it gets a little dizzying but nothing I can’t handle! The only thing that I am NOT looking forward to is the severe cold snap that they say we’re going to experience this week, the coldest it’s been in over a century they're saying, oh joy! And now I shall do my impression of a popsicle encased in an iceberg! Hopefully it won’t be as bad as they say but for right now:

Full Beaver Moon 2019

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY! The Full Moon is upon us and it is a treasure whose worth is beyond calculation. As I sit in contemplation of the things that have happened over the years, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders! The shining Moon has been the one thing that has the ability to neutralize any stress I might be dealing with and enables me to meditate on any situation for any length of time. When I sit outside in front of my Altar I can feel the energy flowing all around, especially when the wind starts blowing! The strength of each gust always increases the deeper I go, this is how I know that the energy is moving and the feeling while it’s happening is indescribable! Of course this occurs if one does a ritual inside their home and the feeling is similar but it’s not quite the same as being out in it!

As I looked out my front door I saw the Full Moon in the sky, lighting up the darkness so effortlessly and never asking for anything from anyone to provide this light that so many have relied on to make their way to wherever they were going at night without having to worry about walking off a cliff or into a fight with a beast they had no intention of disturbing! The moon itself is a wonder that many take for granted especially now because people are so busy developing their cities and literally flooding them with artificial light that they all but forget about the Moon and the Stars above them and why?

Because they can’t see them and because they can’t they take for granted that both will always be there since they have always been there. What these people fail to realize is that many of the technological advances that we have now come from studying the Moon and Stars! For example we know that the waves in the ocean respond to the pull of the Moon energy, when you know how waves will react at almost any given time and how high they will get you then can build walls along the shoreline to protect the city. You can also determine when a good time to set sail to a remote location will be as the sea is a harsh mistress and she takes no prisoners!

Tonight’s Full Moon was named the Beaver Moon by the Algonquin Tribe of North America, it was so named because this is the time of year when they would begin to lay traps to catch as many beavers as possible so as to fashion their furs into clothing warm enough to survive the very harsh Northern Winter! As someone who lives in the same general area I can say there are times when I wish I had a few beaver furs to withstand the cold!

During this Full Beaver Moon it is clear that we need to reevaluate many things about ourselves as a species; petty selfishness and instant gratification has lead us to the crossroads we are currently at and to the governments we have, the question is do we fight it or do we work with it and decide among OURSELVES if we like what the current and future ruling bodies have to say? Only one of these roads will determine whether we are taken seriously on any level, especially a political and more importantly an environmental one!

The other thing that has lead us to where we are is that we have forgotten ourselves on a Spiritual level and the proof of that is in our willingness to allow the Earth to be drilled into, fractured and blown open for its oil, gas, uranium and copper deposits, even if it means leveling yet another mountainside or National Park! We wonder why mudslides are occuring, it is due to strip-mining for mineral deposits! If there are no rocks or trees in place to keep the soil from moving, all that is needed is just enough rain to create mud that when it is on an angles WILL begin to start sliding downward! Who cares if ANOTHER THREE THOUSAND acres of rainforest is cleared to make room for grazing lands for cattle? Why should we care, after all the only thing that trees and vegetation do is provide us with OXYGEN! So what if we tear up the woods and natural habitats of Wildlife, how dare they want their homes to remain UNINVADED? Then we bitch and moan about how Coyotes, Bobcats, Wolves and OTHER predators are showing up in the streets and eating the Humans pets! They are doing this because they don’t see a difference between a dog and a badger! MEAT IS MEAT and if we want them to continue to hunt in the woods then we need to LEAVE THE WOODS ALONE!

Humans have forgotten what it means to coexist with the very ecosystem which enables it to live, instead choosing to believe that they are superior, then they don't know what to do when an Earthquake, Tornado or Tsunami strikes! They need to remember they are part of the system, not above or below it, we exist in MIDDLE SPACE and it is absolutely imperative that we work with it for the sake of the survival of the whole!

The reason we have the kind of intelligence we do is not a freak accident, but intentional! We were given the intellect to oversee the goings on of our respective parts of the Earth and to live in conjuction with it! To enjoy life and to protect that which is the most import to ALL of our survival - the thing that Ninhursag, Enki and Ningizheda created and what the Ancient Family as one functioning unit oversees - the HEART (EARTH) of our very existence!

As I gaze upon the Moon I can’t help but wonder if all humans will ever wake up to what they are doing, but one thing I do know for certain is that there are many who have woken up and can see what is happening, not just on a physical level but “between the cracks” if you will, they keep to themselves what they see because they know what’s to come and they also know most humans would deny it even if they were told! There is a reason why the Moon Pool and Trail look so hypnotic on the water… It is the silent voice of the Cosmos calling out to us, whispering those memories we all possess of a life beyond what we are currently living!

Father I implore you to help those whose allegiance to the almighty dollar has led them to not only jeopardize the LIFE giving element of Water, but to sue for the right to endanger it while brutalizing any and all humans trying to protect it! Remind them that not only is it a RIGHT, but that it is a NATURAL ELEMENT, of which EVERYONE deserves access to a clean, NONINDUSTRIAL tainted supply! Remind them that they are not more important just because they have more human currency, nor will they curry favor in your eyes for denying others that which you provided us ALL with simply because they feel entitled to do so!

If we keep on the course we are currently on, cutting down the trees, burning through the rainforest and other wooded areas, stripping the mountiainsides, blasting the ground and gutting the mineral deposits, poisoning the air and water, drilling the shale and messing with fault lines, we are going to cause a global disaster unlike we have ever seen before and we will bring it all down on ourselves!

Great Father who keeps track of everything, I implore you to not lose hope in us just yet because there ARE those who are still fighting and who are not willing to back down! We know that you did not give up on the human race the last time but everyone has their breaking point and if you do decide enough is enough, we are ALL in very real trouble and there will be no escaping the consequences of our actions or the wrath of the Ancient Family! I will not back up or back down to any human regardless of their aggression, until the very last breath leaves my body I will continue to strive, to move forward and to help others do the same!

Even though things seem bleak, even though the future is uncertain, we will continue to move ahead as we know that we can get through whatever rough time or arduous situation because we have our Blessed Father on our side and he has no problem telling us to get our shit together and be ready because we never know just what may be around the corner or on the horizon!

While you won’t fight our battles for us, we know that we are able to combat any situation ourselves because we were created in the image of the most glorious Beings in all the Multiverse! We also know that if we are ever in need of guidance that you will be there to help us along! You may not always use human words, sometimes instead choosing nature’s vocabulary, however if we pay close enough attention we know just what it is you are saying!

Endearing and Fierce Father, I know that we will get through these hard times, I know because as stubborn as people are they are also scared of the unknown and I think once those fears are ABLE to be cast aside that people will calm down. It sickens me that those who are rioting in the streets are most likely only doing so because it’s staged! That they would allow themselves to be bought off like that is a human embarrassment!

On this Full Beaver Moon I wish everyone glad ridings and the comfort of Friends and Family to keep you warm through the rest of the Autumn and straight through the Season of Death! I wish you the peace that comes with taking care of your own and doing what you can to help those that need it! I wish you the presence of mind to always stand up for what is right and to always stand against injustice no matter what form it takes or who the aggressor is! Most of all I wish you Spiritual Guidance and Healing to help you with whatever issues you may be facing, do not ever be afraid to ask Father or any member of the Ancient Family for help when the burden becomes too much for one person to carry! No man is an island and the Family will always stand by us so long as we do our part and do not expect anything especially for them to do all the work!

“If you understand or if you don't,

If you believe or if you doubt

There's a Universal Justice

And the Eyes of Truth

Are ALWAYS watching you.

-Enigma"

---

"When The First Frost Falls And Covers The Ground,

When The Air Hangs Cold And No Creatures Are Found,

When The Earth Is Hardened And The Bears Take Slumber,

When The Birds Fly South Flocking In Number,

When The Snows Are Calling, The Heat On The Run,

When The Leaves Have Fallen And The Autumn Is Done,

We Come Together By Respect And Gratitude Led,

To Say Thanks For Father's Generosity And Put The Earth To Bed!

We Batten Down The Hatches And Get Ready For Winter,

The Resources Become Scarce, The Conditions Are Bitter,

But We Have No Anxiety And No Fear,

For Father Has Taught Us How To Prepare!

With The Skills We Knew And The Skills We Were Taught,

We Gather Our Rations From Father's Great Lot!

Through The Death Season We Will Pull Through,

Until Spring Comes Again And The Rebirth Is Due!

We Take Care Of Ourselves And Of Each Other,

To Ensure The Survival Of Our Sister And Brother!

Never Doubting The Support Of Our Family,

Knowing Always We Are One Even Though We Are Many!"

ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA!

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una!

Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In NINHURSAG'S Nomen Nos Fides! AVE NINHURSAG!

(We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER!

Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In NINHURSAG'S Name We Trust! HAIL NINHURSAG!)

AVÉ IGIGGI!

AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ DRACONIS!

HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY!

HPS Meg "Nemesis Nexus" Prentiss

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angel-scythe · 5 years

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I need you : Chapter 08

First chapter posted of the year YEAH!!

I really like this one! It’s an important one and also really cute. Looking back at what I’ve done with this fanfiction i’m kind of proud?

I let you enjoy it!!

New year but old habits: smash my door open or just keep reading?

| °|

It was… strange. Nice. Niles was laid in the couch, on his side and his head on the pillow, like often. He even had an arm under his cheek. He was looking the TV like often thought he would have said the commentary of the documentary before the speaker. Well…. He had a really bad memory so probably not…

However, the special thing with this one? It wasn’t the fact it was three a.m. well passed, neither the fact for once, one of his neighbor hadn’t someone at home with who he’ll made to many sound. Too. Many.

No, it was the body giggling against his chest.

Sometimes, his chin pressed in the soft hair. Sometimes the body moved and bumped a bit. He could almost forget he had an Android in his arms. Literally because his arm was passed around him, his hand on his belly. And Gavin had his hand above his hand.

That was so nice.

For once, he was happy to not be able to sleep…

“Can… I participate?” he said, hesitant.

“What?”

“Can I see the lol cats too?”

“You want? I didn’t want to bother you. You watch the documentary. Well… that’s the same but I look often the same video of kitten so, I won’t say anything.” He frowned. “More than I said.”

“I can only hear your giggle anyway,” Niles replied.

“Sorry?”

“I… like that,” the man confessed, without knowing if he was proud or ashamed of that.

Gavin certainly didn’t think the same thing and since he was there to help him to be good, wasn’t it taking advantage of the situation.

“I’d like to share that with you,” he added.

On the TV, cats video appeared with cats putting their head in too tiny place and being trapped, some falling or trying to attack themselves. Gavin laughed a lot when he saw a master put remotes and even a paper glass on a cat without he moved. And he seemed to really love that famous cat pushing a glass from the table at her mistress dismiss.

He probably could listen to him giggling for hours…

And he did.

In fact, he even didn’t look the lol cats. Only Gavin. He was reacting, saying sometime a ‘this one is cute’ or letting out a tiny ‘aaaw’. He was so different. He looked beautiful and his face was so relaxed.

Nines was completely hypnotized by him. By the few of him he could see anyway.

So, suddenly, after hours and hours of little cats and new video always coming, as Gavin was saying ‘poor kitten’ when a little cat fell on a pool, the question bursting even he could only realize it.

“Why do you love cats?”

“What?” Gavin glanced to him and seemed to understand the question. “Ah!” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Gavin… You can talk to me.” Niles pressed his head against him. “I will never judge you.” He closed his eyes. “And maybe I’ll forget after,” he joked.

“Ah! You’re made fun of yourself! So sweet! So bold! Aw!” He tilted his head back and kissed his chin.

Niles couldn’t help but smile…

“Maybe I love cats because I haven’t a lot of things to do in that stupid glass tube and I looked people walk and the animals. The most interesting were the cats. I liked how they did to have food… Some looked fluffy and others seemed to have the same fate than me. But they were luckier. They got home…”

Niles opened the mouth to say something but then closed it. He wanted but didn’t felt legit as he doing it.

“What is your favorite animal?”

“I… can’t remember. Cat? Snake? Both? All?”

“Everything is good.” He turned his head toward him. “But at your place, I’d choose cat!”

“Let’s say cat,” Niles said under his breath.

“I’ll ask you something weird: do you feel better? Compared to earlier.”

“Weird. I don’t even remember when Connor left.”

“That’s because you retreat into yourself. It’s easy but don’t do that.” He turned a little bit more and ended up on his back, looking him right in the eyes. “Stay with me. In this part of the reality.”

Niles closed his eyes to this words. Hurtful but real and sweet…

“In that stupid tank… did you retreated into yourself?”

“Honestly? Yay. A lot. But I had nothing to do there. To think…”

“You think I’m insulting you?”

“Hu? No, asshole? Why?”

Niles blinked at the cuss, surprised.

“You were trapped. I’m free and still, I don’t profit about live.”

Gavin shook his head. “You’re trapped. In something even worse than a stupid glass tube…” He pressed his fingers on his temple.

Niles tightened his hand around his.

“Can we walk a bit?”

Gavin smiled.

“You’re so bold. Courageous.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

Gavin got up and smiled to him, offering him his hands. Niles pushed on his arms to straighten. He breathed heavily, still having that little fear to not be able to get up.

The Android was able to see that fear and he bent to him.

“I don’t let you fall, you remember?”

“Yes…” Niles put his hand in his and he felt stupid because he wanted to say ‘I trust you’.

He breathed heavily once again then pushed in his other hand to get up. Gavin was looking him, very aware of every vital, every sign of weakness in Niles. If he let him fall, that would be the end of… everything.

Niles needed to put his confidence in someone.

It was really true but the man didn’t get why he didn’t do with Connor who needed so much him to rise up and live like before once again.

Maybe… Just, maybe it was because he couldn’t stand to disappoint Connor. Once again.

Standing, Niles felt his hand shivering in Gavin’s one. And his legs too.

“Where do we go?” Gavin asked.

“I… I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”

“Window? It’s snowing.”

Niles nodded and he walked toward him in his shivering legs, needing to grab him, to have someone helping him to stay up. He passed his arms around his neck and started to giggle when Gavin passed his arm around his waist.

“What’s funny?”

“This.” He laughed, his shoulder moving harshly as he pressed his head against Gavin’s shoulder. “Do you know?” he giggled. “Do you know how much I was good before? How I caught every criminal when it was a matter of running? How I was able to lift myself with my arms only? When we trained with Connor, he had never a single chance… and now. Look at this!” He laughed even more.

What a mess…

“You don’t know how much I was good at this. I had muscle. I was strong. I was someone. And now?” Niles giggled even more.

“Oh! Now you’re in my arms and I think you’re winning there!”

The man had a tiny jump at this statement. He looked up to him, to his smile and to the LED turning yellow sometimes.

Then, he nodded slightly and started to move. Gavin didn’t let go on him, accompanying him to the window. Slowly.

Between the cat’s video and this long walk, for Niles, they arrived at the window as the dark of the night started to fade. The stars and a bit of moon still shined in the snow and Gavin looked as he helped the Human to sit in the wide windowsill. Once again, Niles didn’t look the spectacle but the Android.

“Do you like the snow?”

“It’s just… fascinating,” the GV200 replied.

“Did you ever touch it? Play with it?”

Gavin shook his head.

“You can go if you want to. I’ll stay there.”

The Android looked down and frowned then shook his head once again, but this time with more seriousness.

“I…”

Niles saw him went to his hoodie to tug it and he really wanted to move his hand and prevent it but, finally, he did nothing… Just looking him hid his red LED as he was looking the snow.

“To be honest, I don’t like to go out.”

The man frowned because he didn’t get it. Gavin went out all the time. Literally.

He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t want to be harsh. By the past, he used to be harsh with everyone, except his brother. He just didn’t care and he felt like it still was that so why he was searching his words now?

“Next time, you can just order the food in internet. Don’t do the groceries.”

Gavin looked him then got up in the windowsill with him.

“Yes?”

“Yes. You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” He looked to the couch.

“And if I want?”

Niles pursed his lips with a wave of unbearable feeling. Feeling he even didn’t understand…

He didn’t know what to say.

“Why… What…” He closed his eyes. “Why don’t you like to go out? Is the world too awful when you’re a former cop?”

“No. Not for me. ‘Cuz the world was already awful when I was a cop. But the world become strangely…” He said a word but he was so mumbled Niles couldn’t get it. “when you’re a phckin’ useless Deviant.”

Niles opened his eyes and looked the Android who watched the sky becoming orange and throw soft shine in the snow.

Maybe he wasn’t able to get up and get the remote if he wanted to, maybe he had lose that… but behind the numb brain, there was still an intelligent and efficient brain.

“Can you get my phone? It’s… probably somewhere in my bedroom. Uncharged.” Niles frowned. “Can you charge it too?”

Gavin glanced to him and then bent to see the bedroom then Niles.

“Don’t you want to get there by yourself? Or… ourselves?” he asked. He got up and offered him his hand.

“Okay but you know it’ll be noon when we get there?”

Gavin laughed. “Then it will be time to head to the kitchen and will arrive there for the supper.”

“Sound good? What do you want to cook for dinner?”

Niles took his hand and tried to get up. When he took his hand, he squeezed it and felt a bit stronger. Maybe it will take time but when he caught this hand, when he threw his arms around his neck, he was able to move. A thing he would never be able to do with Connor. And he still thought he was a mess, unworthy but at least, he was able to joke with Gavin…

He wanted to laugh, for real.

The time stretched as they were going to the bedroom and when Gavin pushed the door for him, Niles felt weird.

It was his room, the one he had sleep, or worked in instead of sleeping, for years. He could recognize the double desk with a lot tablets, the portable still open on a case, though he was uncharged so shut down and the figurines… There was the nightstand where he had put a cute lamp but also the light blankets, very stern. Everything was stern, impersonal. He remembered how his mom said to him to focus on what mattering. How she yelled on Connor because he wanted cute stuff. The dog in plush he had offered to him for example… he could see him hugging him with love. He had never had a plush.

This place was his bedroom and yet, it wasn’t welcoming.

“The second day, I wanted to clean up this room but everything was like that. I just took a glass, I think. You’re a neat guy.”

Niles looked him as he was helping him to settle on the bed.

“It shouldn’t be hard to find that phone.”

“Thank you.”

The man looked around. Even the colors were so stern.

“I wonder how many missing call you have. I go for… forty-two! Classic.” He winked to Niles.

Niles loved how he winked. It wasn’t really a wink but it was cute.

“None.”

“Ah! You’re such a pessimist!”

“Nobody called me except Connor and he already knew when I stopped to care about my phone.”

“Hu… touché.”

Gavin opened the nightstand and founded pills but nothing else. He went to the desk and moved carefully the tablet.

“By the way… Why did you do without me today?”

“I wish you’d forget that.”

The GV200 turned his head to him and tuck his tongue out.

“Can’t forget. I’m an Android.”

“Can’t you just erase it?”

“Yes but phck you.” Gavin smiled and opened the desk.

Niles looked him. Once again, everything he had did, that was with Gavin. Could he talk about that door he had open? Gavin helped him to get up then he had cheer up so strongly and warmly for him…

“I breathed.”

“Phck you. Change your reply. You did that yesterday.”

“But I’m doing it right now.”

“Yay. That doesn’t count.” Gavin closed the drawer and scanned the room. “Ahaha!” He moved toward the low dresser there and took the phone on it. “Don’t know how I didn’t see that!”

“The charger must be in…”

“It’s okay. I charge it.”

Gavin came to him and sat down next to him. Niles looked the tiny LED flickering and he get it was indeed charging.

“I talked to Connor. You were there but it wasn’t with you. With your help. And… it was nice for long but then…” Niles looked down. “Can you calculate how many I must pay to Connor?”

Gavin blinked and nodded. Finding how many Niles paid his rent wasn’t difficult since he had an access to his bank account.

“Two thousands eight hundred fifty-five dollars and ten.”

“I have enough to repay him?”

“Yay! You have a lot on your account and if you wanna know, I think he had a lot too.”

“It’s a matter of pride. I can’t let my brother pay for me. And I want him being able to live where he wants to. He’s not like me… And he’d love a nice house where he could have plenty dogs…”

As he was saying that, Niles unlocked his phone though Gavin was still charging it.

“And… can you add something else to the money I own him?”

“Yay?”

“If that doesn’t disturb you?”

“It’s not difficult, though I didn’t know you needed such a big calculator. If I didn’t see you naked, I’d say you try to compensate.” He winked.

Niles cracked a tiny smile. “You.”

“Yeah, yeah… You’ll kill me or something like that. But you know, I just have to get up and…”

He stopped talking because the man shook his head.

“You. At least that disturb you, I’d like to…” Niles didn’t know how to say it so he said nothing.

“I’m a present, dipshit. You can’t pay me back. But I’m yours.”

“You’re not an object to me,” Niles replied. “You’re…”

He looked down, didn’t know what he was exactly but his mother learnt to him how to avoid others so he didn’t have friends, only coworkers, classmates… people he had to stay with. Encounters for a night or just a few mores. Nothing more.

And a twin he loved more than everything, of course.

“... so important to me,” he finally said.

Gavin looked away, muttering something.

Niles reached to him but never touch him. Though Gavin was an Android. A former cop Android with a lot of strange things in him and you could guess his contact lenses were able to see that. He turned his head and took his hand, laid it on his cheek, the exact place the man had almost brushed.

“I’d like to…”

The GV200 looked him right in the eyes. It became hard for Niles.

“I’d like to have you connected to my phone. I’d like to be able to location-aware you with it. So, when you’d go out, if something happens… I’ll find you. Wherever they’d bring you. You’ll never be in a stupid glass tube ever.”

The Android blinked and his LED’s color changed. He looked away, once again, taking his cheek away from his fingers. He tugged the hoodie.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re not an object. I just thought…”

Gavin shook his head and turned to take him in his arms, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.”

Niles passed an arm around his waist and the other slide under the hoodie to lose itself in the soft dark brown hair.

“When I’ll piss you off tonight with the ‘what did you do without me?’ say that,” the Android offered as he buried his face in his neck.

Niles couldn’t help but laughed a bit. “Noted.”

Gavin moved back and, his LED with a strange color, his cheek also weirdly colored, he looked the man.

“You laughed?” Truly laughed. “That’s cute. Your laugh is cute.” The GV200 bent over him. “Can I kiss you?”

The Human gulped.

“Yes, please.”

Gavin bent a little more and their lips brushed each other before discovering them.

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