#I had a migraine for 3 days that only seems to come back with light idk 💀

[cashweasel]

🦇👻🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃👻🦇✨ beau and hildy as gomez and morticia ​​🥰

Me and @quailium planned this 3 months ago and we’ve been thinking about it ever since 😂

#of COURSE I wouldn’t miss a chance to draw ocs for Halloween #i never miss a chance to draw ocs in anything hejsjdhsj #the vibes were there and I thought Hildy can easily dress as morticia but it’s beau who’s looking a little too in character hdjskdjskdb #love that for him <3 #sorry btw if this is too dark I was drawing with the lights off and practically zero brightness #I had a migraine for 3 days that only seems to come back with light idk 💀 #oc halloween costume #oc halloween challenge #< oh there’s tags for this 👀 #ocs #my ocs #well only one of them is sfsgsgs #my art #hilbee

[httpdwaekki]

migraine | b.c.

summary: you were known to have pretty intense migraines but chan is there to help you feel better.

wc: 1.9k

warnings: no warnings, just pure fluff, tad bit of hurt/ comfort, sweet channie as always, and in true ashton fashion far too many petnames lmao. very lightly proofread (p.s. i am in my wolfchan lover arc, need him immediately.)

a/n: omg ashton got lost in the sauce again? * gasp* shocker! yeah this took me way too long to write but whatever. i actually don't hate this which is crazy but this is self indulgent because i get some pretty intense, nasty migraines that can last a couple days and it sucks. but if you suffer from the same thing i hope this can bring you some comfort and also i recommend a gel cap that you put in the freezer. an actual game changer, trust. anyway, i hope you enjoy! remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3

*lowercase intended*

my library

(pictures are not mine! credit to owners!)

you had some pretty nasty migraines, no secret to you or chan. they last anywhere from a few hours to a few days and while there were things to help lessen the pain and pressure, sometimes you just had to ride it out.

this was unfortunately one of those times. now usually you would call chan as soon as you felt the first telltale sign of a migraine . this time however, you didn’t, you knew he was busy with work and didn’t want to interfere with that. but you were selfishly starting to regret that decision as everything you were doing did nothing to help.

it seemed like everything did nothing but increase the pressure in your head, spreading to your face. in a last ditch effort to get some sleep you put on some migraine music, pressed a cold compress to your eyes and pulled wolfchan to your chest.

the soft plushie smelled faintly of chan’s cologne, the only thing actually helping you relax. but it also made you miss the aussie man, wishing he was by your side, rubbing your temples, softly lulling you to sleep.

you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt a warm tear drip down to your neck. you knew you had to calm down or you risk making everything worse but you couldn’t. you were overwhelmed by the pressure in your head and frustrated with nothing helping to release it.

you felt selfish and guilty but you knew you needed chan, you felt like you were going insane without him. hesitantly you moved the compress from your eyes, grabbing your phone.

despite the brightness being on the lowest possible setting, you felt a sharp pain behind your eye as the screen turned on. you unlocked your phone, clicking chan’s contact, you quickly typed out a message.

to channie <3 :

hi, i’m so sorry to ask but i really don’t know what else to do, i have a migraine and nothing's helping. i know you're working but is there anyway when you finish up at the studio you could come over? even for a little bit, if not i totally get it, just thought i’d ask, love you bug.

you hit send, locking your phone, placing it on the soft sheets, placing the compress back over your eyes. a few minutes passed before you felt your phone buzz beside you. you move the cold compress once more, bracing yourself for the light from your phone.

from channie <3:

can you call me jagi? i don’t want you to keep looking at your phone screen, love you too sweet girl.

you click his contact once more, hitting the little phone icon next to his name causing the calming music to stop, a loud ringing replacing it. this caused you to wince and quickly lower the volume before putting it on speaker so you could place the cooling pack back over your eyes.

it didn’t take long before he picked up. “hi my baby, what’s going on?” he asked softly.

“my head hurts,” you started, words slightly slurred. “it’s really bad channie.” you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. “i’ve tried everything and nothing’s working, i don’t know what to do.” you softly cried, tears making their way down your cheeks once more.

“okay angel okay, take a deep breath, i need you to relax for me okay? i know it hurts but it’s gonna hurt worse if you’re upset.” you hear rustling in the background.

“i’m just finishing up a few things here and then i’m gonna head over, okay sweetheart?” you respond with a soft whimper, followed by a quiet, “okay.” you press the pack further into your eyes, chasing the coolness that is quickly leaving the gel filled pack.

“do you want me to stay on the phone with you till i get there?” he asks softly, packing his bag.

“yes, please.” you mumbled. “okay baby, just keep breathing and focus on me, okay? i’m gonna pick up some food on the way too, okay?” you hummed in response, rolling over, pushing the soft plushie to your cheek, breathing in the familiar scent.

“everything okay?” you hear changbin ask in the background. “yeah, y/n has a migraine, so i’m going to help her.” chan responds.

“oh no, i hope she feels better, let us know if you guys need anything.” you hear han chime in, your heart swelling at the boys concern.

“will do, thank you, i’ll see you guys later.” you hear him open the studio door making his way into the hallway.

“you still with me, jagi?” he asks softly. “yeah, i’m here.” face squished into the soft fabric. “alright sweetheart, i’m gonna mute for a bit just until i get to my car, okay?” he asks, the elevator dings in the background, signaling its arrival.

“okay.” you say sleepily. “i love you baby, i’ll be right back.” you hear him press a button in the elevator. “love you too bub.” your words slurring slightly.

after chan muted, you felt yourself slowly succumb to the exhaustion, phone positioned next to you on the sheets, wolfchan tucked safely against your cheek, you, curled up in a soft blanket .

that is exactly how chan found you about 25 minutes later as he walked in your room, the space dimly lit by the oil diffuser sitting on your bedside table. he left the take-out bags sitting on your kitchen counter, fresh compress and cold water in hand. he gently places the water on your desk, making his way over to you.

he grabs your phone, ending the call before turning off the relaxing music. he sits next to your sleeping form, gently taking the warm pack off your face. he places a kiss on your forehead before placing the fresh compress on your eyes.

you tense for a moment, before relaxing as the cold begins to relieve the tension once more. you stir awake from the sudden change in temperature. “channie?” you asked, sleep laced in your voice.

he places a hand on your hips, his thumb rubbing soothing circles to the area. “hi, my baby,” he whispers. “how are you feeling hm?” he asks, continuing the soothing motion. you move the cool pack, grabbing his free hand, in this lap, threading your fingers together before placing a kiss on the back of his.

“better now that you’re here.” you murmured, giving him a small smile. he smiled back before leaning down and placing a kiss on your forehead.

“i got you some ramen, i’m gonna go grab it for you okay?” you nodded, him standing, still keeping your hand in his. he leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead before placing the compress back over your eyes, grabbing the warm one to put back in the freezer .

he gives your hand a light squeeze before walking away. you relax into the soft mattress below you while chan goes to grab the hot soup and some medicine just in case.

he walks in with the tray, setting it on your desk next to the cold water collecting condensation on the wood below it. he makes his way over to you, sitting next to you once again, gently lifting the pack off your eyes. “there she is,” he placed a hand on your cheek, setting the compress next to you.

“hi baby.” he smiled, softly stroking your cheek. you give him a small smile back before turning your head slightly to place a kiss to his palm. “can you sit up for me please?” you nod softly before slowly moving to lean against the wall behind you.

“careful jagi.” he whispered, quickly placing a hand behind your head. “thank you, bug.” you mumble, adjusting the pillows behind you, placing wolfchan in your lap . chan stands up once more, placing the water on the tray before bringing it over to you.

“thank you, chan, you really didn’t have to do all this.” you say, guilt creeping up on you once again. he shakes his head. “nope, none of that. i’m your boyfriend, this is my job.” he places the tray on your lap, taking his place next to you once again.

“plus, i love taking care of you. if you need me, i’m there. any time, any place, simple as that.” your heart swells, you feel a lump form in the back of your throat. “you can’t say stuff like that when i’m like this, i’ll cry.” you play with the plushie’s ears before feeling a finger lift your chin.

“i love you, and i’ll always be here for you, no matter where either of us are, okay?” he said, looking into your eyes, with nothing but love and sincerity. you nod, “i love you too.” he smilled, carefully leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead.

“now, you need to eat, i got your favorite.” he says, picking up the hot soup, opening the lid, before separating the chopsticks. he dips the wooden sticks in the soup, giving it a stir before grabbing some of the noodles.

he gently blows on the steaming noodles before offering it to you, container under it to catch any dripping soup. you giggle, “you know i can feed myself right?” he frowns, pushing the noodles and container closer to you. “eat.”

you smile before opening your mouth, accepting the food he so generously offered you. a smile made it’s way onto his face, feeding you a few more bites. he placed the container back down, chopsticks resting in the soup, before grabbing the medicine and water.

“take these.” he placed them in your hand, opening the water as you dropped the pills in your mouth. he hands you the water, watching as you greedly gulp down the cool beverage. “ how are you feeling, angel?” he asks gently.

“it still hurts but i think eating and drinking definitely helped.” you smiled, handing him the bottle. “ good, i’m glad. eat a few more bites then we’ll lay down, okay?” he says, picking up the soup once more.

you end up finishing the ramen before he grabs the tray and the now warm compress. “do you want a cold one?” he asks holding up the pack.

“yes please.” you nod slightly. “okay, get comfy, i’ll be right back jagi.” you smile laying back down as he leaves the room.

he comes back, shortly after, with a fresh compress and another bottle of water. he places the water next to your diffuser, placing the compress over your eyes. he circles the bed, climbing under the covers.

he lays down, pulling you into him, placing your head on his chest. you place your arm around his wait, hand slipping under his shirt, rubbing your thumb across his soft skin.

he brings his hand up, rubbing soft circles on your temples, placing kiss on the top of your head. “sleep jagi, we can shower when you wake up okay?’ you nod slightly against him.

“thank you, channie. i love you, more than you know.” you mumble, tightening your arms around him. “i love you too baby, i’ll always take care of you, okay?” placing one last kiss to your hair.

that’s how you stayed for the rest of the night, wrapped up in each other’s arms. the pressure in your head, slowly releasing, finally able to relax.

reblogs/feedback are appreciated! i hope you guys enjoyed!

do no repost

#bang chan #bang chan imagine #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #bang chan fic #stray kids #stray kids fic #stray kids drabble #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids fluff #ash's library

[gilfkitty]

hi! I was wondering if you can maybe do stepdad vendetta Leon? When it’s late at night and he comes home after a long day at work and he’s drinking like usual, but reader can’t sleep cause of the thunderstorm and she just wants his comfort. Could you make it fluffy at first then smutty? -Lana <3

Seeking Shelter (18+)

ft. stepdad! (vendetta) Leon x fem! reader

WARNINGS !! - some angst (?), mentions of alcohol and marital problems, Leon is slightly intoxicated, stepcest, little bit of biting/marking, pet names, overstimulation, thigh fucking 𓃹

note. ty for being my first normal ask ! im not very confident when it comes to writing fluff but i hope this turned out to your liking :3

wc. 1.5k

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Leon absolutely hated his work, most of all he hated being away from home. He just wanted a break, at least more than weekends off.

Waking up early every day and staying out, busting his ass til nighttime was not how he wanted to live his life. He felt like he was older than he actually was, already getting severe back and body aches, always tired and struggling with migraines that only alcohol could simmer down. He didn’t want to feel like an old man at the age of fourty. But someone had to provide for you and your mother. That’s what motivated him to keep at it. Even if it was breaking him mentally.

He couldn’t deny it felt good to be needed and he knew that you needed him most.

Unlike your mother, you were appreciative of his efforts to furnish the household. You understood he had to be gone a lot and you didn’t ask for a million things. Sometimes he wondered if he married the wrong woman. It seemed your mother was only interested in his good looks and money. They argued more often than they talked. She complained he wasn’t making her happy, didn’t take care of her needs.

He tried his hardest to, but maybe he just couldn’t. Maybe he just didn’t love her like he did when they first met. Rushing into marriage after only dating a couple months prior often turned out that way. And the more he got to know her, the more he got to know you.

You were the exact opposite of your mother despite having been raised solely by her. You were a total sweetheart to him. Made him feel like he wasn’t doing all this for nothing.

——————

Just like any other night, tonight he’s returning home late, bottle being downed to get the negativity out of his head. The bitter burning of the liquid flooding his stomach was a pleasant, comforting in contrast to the flickering lightning outside.

He finishes up another glass. Just enough to calm his nerves but not enough to make him lose his thoughts completely.

He removes his leather jacket, slightly damp from the rain as he makes his way up the stairs ready to head to bed. He considered taking a shower, but he wasn’t caught up in it that long. He was too tired to stay standing anyway.

He pivots to go to your mother but comes to a halt at the sight of your bedroom light still on. You were usually always asleep by the time he got home so he couldn’t help but be curious.

“Hey, hon.” he stands in your doorway, hesitant to enter further. “What are you still doing up? Thought you had a busy day planned for tomorrow.”

You were too embarrassed to tell him the reason. Your heart was pounding heavily in your chest just from some simple rain and thunder. It was something you figured you’d eventually grow out of as you got older, but you didn’t.

“Rain botherin’ you?” he asks, as always reading you like an open book.

“Yeah, i’ll be fine though.”

“I can lay with you for a bit if that helps. If you can make some room for me.”

His offer made you feel all the more ashamed. You weren’t a child, didn’t need to be cradled to sleep. But you didn’t want to say no. His comfort was what you wanted. His presence in general made you feel safe.

So, you organize the cluster that’s taking up your bed space, scooting aside for him.

He lays on the inside, getting snug under your comforter and wrapping his arms around you in a protective embrace. He buries his face in the back of your hair, exhaling a contented sigh.

His breath was hot on your neck, alcohol mixed with that dollar store cologne was pungent, clouding your senses. That smell was just Leon. Homely somehow.

“It’s alright, baby,” he croons, “Storms bother me sometimes too. I’ll stay til’ you’re able to fall asleep.”

His voice was husky, directed straight through your ears. As much as you tried, you couldn’t ignore the fact that you were starting to feel something you shouldn’t.

“You don’t have to stay,” you counter even though you really wanted him to. “I know you have work tomorrow.”

“I don’t mind. Wouldn’t be able to sleep knowin’ you’re upset anyway.”

He presses his body further against yours. His hand rubs circles over your stomach to coax you to sleep.

It was having the opposite effect. For both of you.

This close proximity, the heat of your body, the scent of your hair, it was all making him dizzy. Dizzy in a way any hard liquor or whiskey couldn’t achieve for him.

His hands make their way underneath your shirt, testing your reaction to the advance. He trails up slowly feeling your soft skin under his rough palm, stopping at the edge of your bra before slipping back down.

You shudder when he thumbs at the waistband of your pajama pants. He was asking for permission without words. He didn’t have a way to ask that didn’t make him sound like a creep or a pervert. He didn’t want you to see him that way. But he needed you. Hoped you needed him in that way too.

His breath sped up, he was practically heaving. Blame it on the alcohol.

“I should go,” he decided, releasing you. But you stop his hand midway out.

“You can’t just tease me like that and then leave. You said you’d stay until I fell asleep.”

His dick hardens in his pants at your reciprocated touch, making him realize just how long it had been since he’d felt someone else this way. Your mom never put out, and when she did, there was no connection.

This was different. Just holding you in his arms makes him feel something he’s never felt with anyone.

“Sorry, sweetheart. You’re right. I said i’d stay.”

He wasn’t expecting those words to influence you. He was trying to push the sexual thoughts to the back of his mind. But then you move his hand where you both wanted it to be, and his brain is fried.

You don’t have to tell him twice. He gets the memo.

Your pants, along with his own, are discarded to your floor. He holds his position behind you, slipping his length between the plush of your inner thighs, right between your needy folds.

As bad as he wanted to fuck you, he couldn’t. No way in hell he was going to ruin your life and knock you up. He was your stepfather. Your mother would surely kill you if she found out.

He settles for this, slowly pumping his hips to slide his cock between your legs.

You line them up, tightening them together for his pleasure. He grinds against your clit, rubbing back and forth and making you moan. You were dripping on his cock, begging for him to take you. He wanted to so badly.

“Shhh, baby,” he hushes with a hand over your mouth. “Be quiet for me.

He wasn’t exactly playing fair. He was groaning in your ear more and more as it went on. You were a mouse in comparison.

He holds onto you bruisingly tight, wanting to be closer. It was so hard to have you right in front of him, soaked and whiny just for him. Yet he couldn’t go further.

It almost pissed him off.

His teeth sink into the flesh of your shoulder as he tries to restrain himself, marking you in the process. He speeds his movements, his pelvis meeting your ass again and again. You could feel him throbbing, hear that desperate rasp in his voice as he moaned into you.

“I need you so bad sweetheart.” He kisses over the bite mark he left, panting through his nose. “Need to be inside your sweet pussy.”

You plead for him. But it’s muffled by the cup of his hand. You felt so good just from this. You couldn’t even imagine how the real deal would be.

Your body practically spasms from cumming. He rubbed you in just the right way, just the right pace.

He loses his mind feeling the way you squirm against him. He couldn’t stop, even if you were overly sensitive. He needed your body.

He has to hold your thighs together as they moved too far apart, making you endure the friction.

Cum spurts out of him too far, and far too fast for him to catch it. It just keeps spilling out, and he just keeps thrusting into you until it starts to hurt. He’s gripping you tighter than intended as his muscles stiffen uncontrollably.

He uncovers your mouth after he falls limp against you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

“Sorry about the mess.” he says to break the silence. “Think you’ll be able to sleep now? Feelin’ a little sleepy myself.”

“Can you stay with me all night?” you ask. You didn’t want him to leave your side. It’d be cold without him.

He hesitates to answer, thinking over your request and considering if it would be too risky.

“Sure, sweetheart. Your mom probably won’t even notice I’m gone tonight anyway.”

#leon kennedy x you #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil x reader #tw.stepcest #leon smut #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #resident evil vendetta #vendetta leon

[themultifandomgal]

Jay Halstead- All My Fault

Trigger warnings- hospital, passing out, blood clot on the brain, near death

4 hours, just 4 hours left of my 12 hour shift left. I can do this.

For the last few days I’ve felt like I’m catching the flu but when I woke up this morning I felt so much worse and it’s only getting worse as the day goes by. If this was the start of my shift I would have gone home, but I’m so close to being done and then I have 4 days off to recover. So I’m going to power through the last hours.

“Feeling any better?” I hear my husbands voice. I look up at squint at the brightness off the lights, but I notice Jay looking down at me

“No”

“Why don’t you head home? We’re just doing paperwork” I glare at my partner, Adam

“Don’t jinx it” I groan making Jay chuckle

“In all serious babe I’ll take you home”

“No I’ll be fine” I give Jay a weak smile then return back to my paper work

“At least take some painkillers”

“Fine” I slowly stand up, but Jay places his hand on my shoulder and pushes me back down in my seat

“I’ll get them. You stay put” I give Jay a thankful smile. I look at my computer, but have to blink a few times as my vision blurs, probably due to this migraine that I’m having.

“How long has this migraine been bothering you?” Erin asks concerned

“Have had it a couple days now, just today it seems to be worse”

“Here” Jay comes back with some painkillers, a water bottle and a cereal bar “try and drink all of that and eat this. Might help. If your still not well tomorrow I’ll call Will to come over” I roll my eyes at Jay, but instantly regret it as the pain behind my eyes feels like I’m being stabbed. I take the pills and drink half the bottle then open up the cereal bar.

Finally my shift ends, Jay has another couple of hours, so Adam drops me off home

“You sure your going to be alright?”

“Yeah. I’m just going to have a bath try and eat some toast then head off to bed”

“Ok, but if you get worse please ring me and I’ll come over until Jay gets home”

“Thanks. See you” I wave goodbye and close the passenger side door, get my keys out of my bag and unlock my door. I give Adam one last wave and close the door behind me. Sighing I drop my bag on the floor, take my shoes off and head upstairs into the bathroom. Turning the tap on the blurry vision returns and I stumble backwards feeling dizzy. The last thing I remember is the way my head feels like it’s going to explode.

Jays POV

I return home expecting to see YN in bed asleep, or at least trying to. Heading upstairs I notice the bathroom light on and can hear the water running in the bathroom

“I’m home” I call out but don’t get a response. That’s when I notice the floor is wet. Panicking I open up the door and see my wife on the floor unconscious “YN? YN baby can you hear me?” Not getting a response I immediately take my phone out of my pocket and dial 911

“911 what’s your emergency”

“I need an ambulance at ‘address’ my wife is unconscious”

“How long has she been unconscious for sir?”

“I- I don’t know. I just got home. She’s been home for 3 hours on her own”

“Ok can you check her breathing for me?” I lean down and see if she’s breathing, thankfully yes

“Yes” I breath out

“Ok I have sent an ambulance to you, they should be with you in 5 minutes, keep checking her pulse and breathing until paramedics arrive”

5 minutes go by and they feel like the longest 5 minutes ever. Brett and Dawson arrive, I feel slightly relieved that the paramedics on shift right now are these two as I trust them the most with my wife

“Jay we’ve got her” Gabby says after I lift her onto the stretcher

“Can I ride with you?”

“Sure”

“What the hell happened?” Boden, YNs dad shouts walking over to me sat in the waiting room

“I don’t know. I just came home and.. fuck she looked…” I rub my hand over my tear stained face

“Does will know?”

“Yeah. He’s gone to see if he can find out what’s going on. Fuck I should have brought her here earlier, she wasn’t feeling good when she was at work”

“Jay, Wallace” I look up and see Will walking over to us nervously “I’ve spoken Abrams, she’s in surgery right now”

“What? Why? What’s wrong with my daughter?”

“YN had a blood clot on the brain. Has she hit her head recently?” both will and Wallace look at me. I think back to the other day, before her headache started

“Fuck this is all my fault. She hit her head on a job, she told me she was fine and I looked at her head, there was no bump so I didn’t….. fuck I should have forced her to….” I choke on my own words. This is all my fault.

#jay halstead x y/n #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x oc #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #jay halstead x yn #one chicago #one chicago imagine #chicago med imagine #chicago pd imagine #chicago med #chicago pd

[tsumtsumrry]

Hey! It would be so nice if you could write something I had in mind for a while. Ceo Harry who’s like always in control of everything but behind closed doors with his girlfriend he gets all shy and submissive. (If you don’t feel comfortable or you don’t wanna write it it’s alright :) 🫶🏼)

apologies for this being so short, migraines are kicking my butt but i didn't want to go so long without posting/answering your request :(. please don't hesitate to let me know if you'd like a part two though <3

There’s a small knowing grin on your face as you watch him through the large window of his office as he berates one of his employees. You roll your eyes at his tone and chuckle softly to yourself. You turn around when you feel a soft tap on your shoulder and a smile is brought to your face when you recognize the touch as Harry’s secretary. She’s young for the job, fresh out of university but incredibly intelligent with a strong work ethic. She’s also so incredibly kind. 

“I would absolutely not go in there if I were you,” she warns, making you furrow your eyebrows and pout in confusion, “that guy he’s yelling at, messed up a couple reports that set us back big time. He’s pissed.” Your mouth opens in an “o”, understanding the situation. A small smile comes to your face, knowing that she’s just trying to help.

“I am not afraid of my husband, no matter how grumpy he can be.” you laugh softly and she looks to the ground and blushes softly with a smile on her face as if she’s scared to speak ill of her boss. 

The smile stays on her face as she speaks, “well good luck then, Mrs. Styles. You can always ring me if you need anything.” she walks away and you notice that the yelling has stopped. You take it as your opportunity to knock softly on the door and Harry’s head instantly shoots up, his eyes softening in recognition when he sees you. You open the door and smile at the employee, who almost looks scared to make eye contact with you. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting, I brought you some lunch.” you make your way over to Harry with a small smile and place the food down on the wood table. You decide to make light of the obvious tension in the room and speak sarcastically, “everything okay in here?”

Harry rolls his eyes but you can see him look down to stifle a laugh. 

“You’re dismissed.” He tells the employee and you watch as he scurries away. 

Everyone in the office knows to steer clear of Harry when you come in, no one dares to bother him or come to his door, and even if it’s important, they opt for a call or an email.

The second the door is closed you look back at Harry and run your fingers through his hair. His entire demeanor melts into the soft one you’re so familiar with, “what have I told you about yelling at people like that, honey?” you reprimand him gently. 

“He fucked up an entire weeks worth of work, my love.” He looks up at you softly, his eyes pleading. The poor baby is always so eager for your approval. He brings his arms up to wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him so his head can rest on your stomach. 

“I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day, honey. Would you like me to make it better?” 

In an instant, his frame softens even more. The implication of your statement making him fall deeper into that submissive state you always seem to get him in. And he loves it, he truly does. He loves how he’s able to relinquish control with you. With the job he has, it feels like he always needs to be in control of everything, but with you, he can just let go. He can let go of all his stress and tension and just get lost in you. 

“Please…” he sighs, his arms tightening around your waist, “please make it better.” 

You pout in sympathy at his desperation and continue to run your fingers through his soft hair, “the second you get home, honey. Can you be patient for me?” 

He nods quickly and eagerly, still clinging to you. You can tell it might be hard for him to let you go today, but if he avoids the work he has to do it’ll only grow in size. You pat his arm slightly as a signal to let you go, you feel him hesitate, but he obeys, and you look down at him to give him an approving smile. 

“You’re just so good for me, aren’t you?” 

Harry opens the front door softly, his mood having improved since this morning. He’s been thinking about you the whole day, thinking about your touch and how you promised to make him feel better. He hasn’t been able to think about anything else. Even his secretary commented on how distracted he seemed.

He walks further into the house, placing his keys on the counter. He calls your name softly and frowns when you don’t answer. 

He keeps walking until he reaches your shared bedroom and his eyes instantly widen at the sight of you, clad in the most beautiful piece he’s ever seen. 

He doesn’t remember buying you that one, but he doesn’t even dwell on that thought considering how beautiful you look. 

“H-hi,” he whispers, he walks up to you and his expression is pleading, “touch?” he asks softly. You smile gently at him and you nod, he wastes no time bringing his hand up to your body. He drags his knuckle softly down the material of your bra and sucks in a sharp breath. 

“You’re really pretty” he keeps his voice quiet and low and you melt as his sweet words and the way he reacts to you. 

“You’re just as pretty, angel,” you respond. He softly shakes his head and you pout, standing up to press your lips to his. He fully immerses himself in the kiss and his hands shoot up to grab at your waist. 

“Still want me to make it better?” you pull back from his lips to ask, watching his hazy, half-lidded eyes. 

“Please. Do whatever you want to me.” 

#harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry smut #harry styles fluff #subrry #sub!harry #ceorry #ceo!harry

[parmmykitty]

(This is late. Oops) Yes I made Present Re2 Leon. I couldn't help it! he's the only friendly character that I can use! I'm not sure that Wesker would really take life lessons from a guy who looks like he would cry if you yelled at him but I'll try my best!

The R.P.D. Christmas Carol pt.4

Scrooge!Wesker x Secretary!Reader

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

While the ghost had the body of a boy in his very early twenties he seemed to be the size of the room. His head almost hitting against the ceiling when Wesker had surprised him.

"I can see what Past was talking about now," he said.

The ghost looked down at him like a dog seeing a toy, "Past? She was talking about me? What did she say?" He asked in rapid fire. Wesker rolled his eyes at the boy and chose not to answer him. "Oh! No, wait! That's not what I'm meant to say!" The cleared his throat and let out an enthusiastic, "Come in, and know me better man!"

Wesker couldn't believe the incompetence of this ghost. He was like an eager child. "Well? Come in! Come in!" He waved his arm to welcome him into the room.

"I'm already in."

"Oh, you're right. Did I already tell you that I'm the ghost of Christmas present, too?"

Sighing he replied, "Yes."

"Oh, sorry!"

"You seem distracted. Maybe you should take the night off, ghost."

"I can't take the day off! It's the night before the dawn before Christmas! What kind of Christmas present would I be if I took it off?! And I am the ghost of Christmas present if you didn't know!"

Wesker was starting to get a migraine again. "So I've heard."

"You have? From who? You know, if you came in to know me better man I would've told you!" The giant ghost waved his hand in the air creating a lit torch out of nothing, "but we have to get going it's already past 2! We're losing daylight! Or uhh nightlight!" He waved the torch around his head in big circles and began to shrink down to Wesker's size.

The boy stopped shrinking and revealed himself to be a bit shorter than Wesker. "I wasn't aware that we were on such a tight schedule," Wesker said with uninterest. This ghost was going to be the death of him. He was dumb as a rock and had the memory of a goldfish.

"Of course we are! There's only so many hours before Christmas starts and we're losing them fast!" The constant shouts of the ghost was doing nothing for Wesker's head. "Come! Walk with me!" The ghost made his way out of the house while constantly turning to make sure Wesker was following him.

"Look all around you! Look at all the Christmas cheer!" The ghost spread out his arms in the middle of the street with a big smile. He seemed to be seeing something that Wesker couldn't. He looked around himself excited and walked around looking at everything with wonder.

"Am I supposed to be seeing something, or are you hallucinating?"

"Oops," the ghost fumbled to grasp his torch before lifting it high in the air. The torch let out a bright light and as it dimmed back down the sun rose into the sky and people appeared into the street. "There! Now you can see them."

The Christmas spirit in the air lifting Wesker's own for the first time in years. For years he'd been holing himself away during Christmas to avoid this very feeling. The people walking around the early morning town carrying presents and walking with loved ones gave a party like atmosphere around him.

"Isn't it beautiful! With all the people walking around with love in their hearts. All the carolers and choirs spreading their happiness to others," the ghost said fondly, "Is there anything better?"

Wesker remained silent as he took in the sights around him. While there certainly seemed to be love in the air; he couldn't help but feel beyond crowded with the overabundance of people.

"Yeah, the love in the air is what makes the feeling of Christmas," the ghost said," you know, if you have love in your own heart everyday can feel like Christmas. The holiday is only a reminder to everyone."

Wesker turned to the ghost and looked at him suspiciously, "why do you say that?"

"Isn't that what you were just feeling? Or did you say it? I can't remember now, it's in the past."

The constant forgetfulness made some sense now. The ghost could only remember the present and forgot the past easily.

"Well, we might as well get started. Go ahead, show me the Christmas around me that I've been neglecting."

The ghost sharply turned to him and smiled, "That was easy! See, you feel the love too! Why don't we go see your coworkers? I'm sure they're having fun!" The ghost danced along the street to the songs being sung all around him as the two walked.

"This is the apartment their having Christmas at. Let's go in, and know them better man!" he said before walking through the door into the complex. Wesker reluctantly followed him but did admit he was rather intrigued on how others he knew celebrated without him.

In the room stood almost all of S.T.A.R.S Alpha team and a few from Bravo. They were all sitting around the living room facing each other. "So what else does everyone want to do now? Dinners gone, dishes are cleaned, presents are opened. Anything else?" Chris said to the room.

Jill looked up at him from her seat on the couch, "Let's play a game! We can play, like, hot or cold with charades. I'll go first!" Jill stood up and stood in front of the group of people. She raised two fingers and tapped them on her wrist before gesturing her hands together to mean a whole and starting. She stood up as straight as she could and held her hands behind her back.

"A soldier," someone shouted from the back.

"Warm," Jill answered. She then slicked her hair back, though it fell back down immediately, and formed a sharp frown on her face.

"A sergeant?"

"Cold."

She pretended to put on a pair of glasses and then turned to the Christmas tree and shook her fist at it.

Invested, Wesker let out, "A captain," eventhough no one could hear.

Absently the ghost said, "Good guess."

"I got it!" Chris yelled out.

"Two words. Must be a name since we've almost all been in the military. Someone who's strict, mean and hates Christmas. It's Albert Wesker!"

The ghost beside him let out a hearty laugh along with the rest of the room.

"You got it!" Jill shouted out.

Albert turned to the ghost who seemed to have grown a little older over the span of the game. His hair was a little longer and his eyes sharper.

"What, Wesker? No sense of humor?" The ghost smugly said.

Wesker rolled his eyes at him before starting to walk away. "Are we done here? I've had quite enough insulting tonight."

"Fine. Be that way. You buzzkill. You know it wouldn't kill you to take a joke," the ghost stopped and thought for a second, "but I guess it might if you don't!" He busted out into more laughter.

The two left the house and proceeded to walk into the street.

"Where are we going now?" Wesker asked the ghost.

"To your one true loves house," he replied as he clutched his hands together making goo-goo eyes.

Reaching their house was more worrying than Wesker had expected. The houses slowly becoming more rundown and the people in the street disappearing.

"We're here. Nice and quaint."

Wesker looked through their window to see into the house. "This is where my secretary lives? I thought they were paid well."

"How did you know this is their house?" He asked.

"You just told me, idiot," Wesker rolled his eyes.

Softly the ghost spoke to himself, "I did?"

Coming down the street came his secretary while humming a Christmas song. They entered their house and beeline for a chair. They appeared to be a little more sickly than usual.

"What's wrong with them?"

The ghost walked forward to look into the home. "They're sick. Obviously."

They watched as the homeowner got back up from the chair and made their way to a cluster of medicine bottles on the table. Almost limping as they walked.

"They're never this bad at work. Sometimes they'd have a cold or some pain at the best, but never like this. And why do they live like this? They told me that they had inherited their parent's house and moved in to save money, but they look like they're in poverty. This doesn't make sense." Like the last house Wesker walked through the door to enter their home.

Wesker watched his dear friend open most of the bottles and pull out multiple pills before taking them.

"You said they're sick, ghost. Will they be okay?" Wesker looked sadly down at his friend. He hadn't know that these were the conditions they lived under.

"I don't know," the ghost replied. He seemed even more mature than before and no longer had the same energetic attitude. "You'd have to ask the next ghost that question; however, I do see a faint vision of an empty home. But what does that matter? There's too many people in the world anyway! They should just die and make room for the rest!"

Wesker's friend stood up and made their way to the fridge revealing only a few pieces inside. They pulled out what seemed to be a few slices of deli meat and made a small sandwich with it.

Tears rolled down their cheeks before whispering, "Merry Christmas."

The ghost violently grabbed Wesker's collar and yanked him towards him. "It's time to go." All at once the depressing home was replaced with howling winds surrounding him.

Around him were rows upon rows of graves. In the distance was a threatening church looming over the area. The ghost slowly sat down on a stone bench nearby.

"Looks like my time is up," the ghost said.

"What do you mean?" Wesker asked while turning fully towards him.

"The ghost of Christmas present can't really live if Christmas is in the past. Can it? It was fun while it lasted, Wesker. But now it's time for the future."

Wesker frantically looked the ghost up and down to find a way to help him. He seemed to now be older than Wesker himself with graying hair. "How long until you leave?" He asked softly.

"I was told "when the bell strikes twelve"," he said then quickly coughed.

"And what happens now?" He asked as the bells started to slowly toll.

"Now, you get to meet the ghost of Christmas future. Go forth, and know him better man!" Were his final words before he became dust and faded away.

#albert wesker x reader #albert wesker #resident evil #wesker x reader #leon kennedy

[neon-pink-skies]

Bakugou x Reader (comfort) Troublesome test

AN: Please don't come at me for writing bakugou OOC as this is a bit new to me. This is mostly a drabble from my going-to-bed head scenarios after I had a bad day. In this drabble I'll give ya'll the quirk Angel, basically you have basic white wings and summon halos that can burn the counterpart in battle as you for an exception but you get migraines when overused and won't be able to summon them anymore. anyways have fun reading! Word count: 1,881 Words

You and bakugou knew each other since pre-school and have been in a strange rivalry until you both got into UA. It was the entrance exam when you and the others fought the villain bots. Noticing one behind katsuki you summon 2 halos in both of your hands and throw them at the robot behind katsuki almost hitting him instead. ''Oi! Watch where you throw your damn ring lights birdie!'' he yelled as he blew the finishing hit at the bot. ''Yea yea, be glad I saved your ass and get going!'' you responded with a huff.

flying behind the now laying bot, you picked up the 2 halos from earlier and slid your hands through them to carry. I will never understand how he is that angry all the time, he can't chill out for one second! You took a look at katsuki as he catches his breath and got an idea. ''Hey, boom boy!'' You yelled, katsuki turned around angrily and was about to blow u into pieces but u continued as you slightly flapped your wings while on the ground, ''How about you and me race down the street if you're not a pussy!''

You seemed to get his attention with that as he grinned at you, ''You bird looking extra think you can surpass me in flying huh? WATCH ME!!'' you watched as he let a little explosion off in his hands. You both got ready to blast, or rather, fly off but got interrupted by a group of people running and screaming, just noticing the loud rumbling.

You both looked behind and saw the 0 points bot towering slowly over the arena and smashing one of the buildings beside it. Your heart sank seeing all the dust clouds, ''Shit is that the executor Bot?! Isn't that a bit too big!!'' you declared as you took off not hearing katsuki's response. You carefully looked around the arena around the executor bot for anyone who might have trouble getting to safety. ''Help! Over here!!'' You turned around to where you heard the screaming and saw 2 other students on top of one of the buildings as one steadied the other. ''Are you hurt badly? Do you both need transportation?'' You asked them as you reached the rooftop. ''I'll be fine but he needs help, his foot got trapped under the debris of the building. Please take care of him!'' He put a thumb up to his friend and took off towards the arena entrance where most of them were now. ''Hold on tight it's gonna be a bumpy ride'' You warned, wrapping your arms around his back and behind his knees, taking off just as the executor was about to smash the building. ''There you are birdie!! What the hell do you think you were doing back there acting all heroic hah!'' katsuki barked as you handed the guy to his friend. ''First of all, I can do as I please and second he was unable to walk so I helped!'' you hissed back at him fluttering your wings as you scout the area again. You saved 4 other people from the massive bot and before you knew it it was 2 minutes left as you got the last one to the entrance. Whack! You felt something hit you on the back of your head and was about to hit back but stopped as you saw that it was katsuki who hit you. ''Hey! What was that for bakugou?'' you hissed at him, crossing your arms. ''If you hadn't left my side without telling me I wouldn't have to hit you dumbass!'' He hissed back while taking a step closer. You just stood there, unfazed by his behavior and semi-screaming while everyone looked at the both of you standing only 1 meter (3 feet) away from each other. ''You all just wanna stare or something?'' You scolded the people around you and saw as they quickly turned their heads away.

A few days passed after the entrance exam where you would just chill around the house or train a bit by yourself. You were outside in the backyard doing some gardening on the flowers and bushes that grew there but before you could get to repot one of the lemon trees into a bigger pot, your mother came outside seeming happy and excited holding a litter with a red seal. ''(Y/N)!! The letter from the Hero Academy came! Go on and open it!'' she pleaded with a smile. You laid the small shovel to your side and took off your gardening gloves to open the letter and read it. ... ''AAAAH!! NO WAY I GOT ACCEPTED INTO IT!!!'' You shot up from your sitting position to hug your mother and scream with her together in the backyard.

''What is all this commotion here huh?'' your father chimed in smiling slightly while holding his mug in one hand and leaning in the door frame.

''They got accepted into the hero academy where they participated in the entrance exam!'' She grinned as you handed him the letter for him to read. As he did his eyes widened in disbelief but soon was also smiling with the 2 of you.

Time skip brought to you by: katsuki's mother hitting him on the back

It was the middle of a math test in your class and you were having serious problems. Yeah sure, you learned really well and even with momo, one of the best explainers in the class but somehow you just couldn't solve or even understand any of the questions listed.

It felt like a whole different language you were looking at and it frustrated you to hell and back.

Having learned for this test the last 2 weeks non-stop and even participating in class like usual made this only worse as tears began to form at the corner of your eyes, blurring your vision slightly.

You decided to just write what was given, what is looked for, all the formulas for solving stuff, and how you would normally try solving it.

Before you knew it time was up and your papers were collected by Aizawa. You were lucky you all could go to your dorms after the test so you made no hesitation in leaving. Bakugou noticed the sudden change of your behavior but didn't say anything as he usually walked with Kirishima and Kaminari. Arriving at the dorms you made your way to your room, closed the door, and threw your bag beside your table. You faceplanted onto the bed, screaming into it as tears spilled into your pillow.

Usually, you would hang around the couch playing games or talking to others but this time you weren't and the others started to take notice. ''Has anyone seen (Y/N)? I haven't seen them since school was over.'' Midoria asked into the round, standing at the kitchen counter. ''Nah, that bird was already gone before I knew'' Katsuki replied while sitting on the couch, reading his book. He didn't show it but he was getting worried a bit more than he should after you didn't even show up to dinner meaning you have been in your room for more than 4 hours and he was getting fed up by this. ''Hey, bakubro where are you going?'' Kirishima questioned katsuki as he stood up from the table, put his dishes in the dishwasher, and went to the elevator. ''I'm going to study shittyhair so don't you dare bother me!'' He barked back. You laid on your bed, watching some videos on your phone but got disturbed by the sound of knocking. You ignored it until it was a hammering sound. You groaned as u got up from your position, wiping your eyes while making your way toward the door and unlocking it to see who it was. It was katsuki who stood there with and angry yet worried face. ''Birde, what happened?'' He asked as you stepped back to let him inside the room closing it again after. He looked around the room noticing the slight stains on the pillow and the wrinkled sheets. ''It's okay katsuki don't worry'' You said with a slight frown while wiping you eyes again. You don't know if you can really handle him now, it felt like you were about to burst into tears if you wouldn't tell yourself to just stop. ''It doesn't seem okay to me at all. You have been gone for the last 4 hours when you usually hang out with me and the others. You know you can talk to me.'' He huffed, taking your hand and sitting down on your bed.

You sighed, ''It's just...I learned for the test the last 2 weeks, memorized every formula in weird ways so it would be easier, and then suddenly out of nowhere I just couldn't solve and question!''

You sniffled as tears began to run down your face again, feeling exposed and vulnerable. You expected katsuki to leave a cold or rude remark but it never came. He took you into his arms, hugging you while he answered, ''You felt dumb didn't you?''. You nodded against his chest. ''It's okay and that can happen alright? It was just one single slip-up that can happen when you are stressed. Don't bash your head over something that won't have a big impact birdie.'' Hearing that from him made you cry even harder for a reason you didn't know nor could you explain. ''It's just that-that it usually doesn't happen an-and what if it happens ag-gain?'' You hiccuped between sniffles, looking at katsuki. He looked back with a serious yet soft look, ''It won't because I say so okay? You will master any other test like you usually do because I know you are smart up there.'' he assured while tapping ur forehead to empathize with his last words. You looked up to his hands at your forehead making him snort for a small second earning a shocked look in return. ''What's with the look like you have seen a ghost hah??'' He hinted while going back to his usual scowl on his face. ''I have never seen u smile or laugh in any way!'' you blurred out with a smile, catching him off guard as a small blush crept onto his face. ''Shut up birdie, I will only stay this night with you and that's it got it?'' he warned as he pulled you down with him to cuddle for the rest of the night. You haven't felt this warm and at peace in such a long time, it almost made you drive into sleep but you couldn't just yet.

''good night katsuki.'' ''good night (Y/N)'' Hearing his name said so softly made him almost melt into the mattress more but he just couldn't wrap his head around these feelings. He had them before around you but never this intense. It felt like hours passed by until he filled the comforting yet unnatural silence as he came to a realization he never thought he would make.

''I...I love you (Y/N)'' he whispered, playing with your hair softly. ''I love you too katsuki'' you whispered back making him smile as he kissed your head before the both of you went to sleep.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

AN: Thank you so much for reading! If you wish to request something please don't be shy, I'm happy to write anything except NSFW or very graphic scenes! Anyways I hope ya'll have a nice day and that this made it slightly better ^^

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader comfort #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou katsuki #I-just-wrote-this-on-an-energy-drink-pls-send-help

[sequinsmile-x]

Aura

noun

the distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person, thing, or place.

a warning sensation experienced before a migraine

Aaron and Emily finally admit how they feel about each other, and all it takes is a migraine and a night spent sleeping on the couch.

-x-

Hi friends <3

This came about after a conversation with @ssa-sparks, and as usual it spiralled completely out of my control.

I personally can never write enough 'getting together' fics, so I hope you guys don't get bored reading them!!

Please let me know what you think! -x-

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: None

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily rolls her neck as she pours herself a coffee, suppressing a yawn before she takes a sip of the still slightly too hot drink, desperate to wake herself up a little. 

“Long night?” Dave asks, appearing out of seemingly nowhere. She narrows her eyes at him as he stands next to her in the kitchenette, a smirk on his face that seemed way too happy for her liking so early in the morning. His eyes sparkle with mischief as he picks up the coffee pot, “I always forget how delightful you are first thing in the morning.” 

“And I always forget how annoying you are,” she replies, a smile flickering over her face as he feigns hurt, his hand pressed into his chest. She has another sip of her coffee as she looks across the bullpen, her eyebrows furrowing when she sees that Aaron’s office light is still off, just like it had been when she’d first arrived that morning, “Have you heard from Aaron today?” 

He was usually the first to arrive at work. The light in his office like a beacon calling them all in. She remembered when she first joined the team she’d always joke to the others she wondered if he lived in there. Always the first to arrive and the last to leave, setting an example that was impossible for everyone, himself included, to keep. There had been a handful of occasions when he arrived later than the rest of them, but he always texted one of them, these days usually Emily, first. Whether it was because Jack had a doctor’s appointment, or something at his school he needed to attend, he always let them know.

So the lack of contact, the fact he hadn’t arrived yet, lets seeds of concern plant in her belly, something she tries to shake off, sure she’d being overly worried. 

“No,” Dave replies, drawing her attention back to him, a smirk on his face that makes her want to smack him, “I’m sure Aaron is just fine.” 

She rolls her eyes, ignoring the burning in her cheeks at the implication in his tone, his emphasis on Aaron’s first name as he points out that she’d used it. Ever since her return from Paris she and Aaron had become close. Their shared, but different, experiences, the fact they were the only person who could come close to understanding what the other had been through, pulling them together. After he’d made her promise to come to him on her bad days, a deal she knew had initially been employee to superior, things had started to change.

He’d been kind to her, soft in a way she’d seen briefly in the past. He invited her over to spend time with him and Jack over weekends and on evenings when they were free, a smile on his face that he was never quite able to hide as he watched her interact with his son. Somehow, in a way she’d never seen coming, Aaron had become her best friend.

And it had made her feelings for him, the love she’d pretended didn’t exist for as long as she could remember, infinitely more complicated. 

The last thing she wanted to do was to ruin what they had, to throw it away to try something she wasn’t even entirely sure he wanted. There were moments, flashes in amongst the time they spent together, when she was sure he felt the same way. When she’d see something sparkling in his eyes when they met hers. But she was unsure, his presence in her life as her best friend was something she treasured, one of the things she’d rebuilt her life around when she thought it was impossible, and the thought of losing it, him, stopped her from going for something more. 

She was content to love him as a friend, to pretend to herself that it wasn’t more than that, that she wasn’t bursting at the seams as she forced herself not to kiss him whenever he smiled at her, because it was easier than not being able to love him at all. 

“How many times do I have to tell you,” she says, clearing her throat, “We’re just friends.” 

Dave hums and raises his eyebrow at her, talking over his shoulder as he walks away towards his office, “Siete entrambi idioti.”

“Zitto,” she calls back, narrowing her eyes as he smirks at her over his shoulder. She blows out a breath as she looks at Aaron’s office, her stomach churning again at seeing it empty. She shakes her head at herself, telling herself he’s fine, that she’s worrying for nothing, and she mutters to herself under her breath, “Get it together, Emily.” 

It’s like a mantra in her head as she repeatedly tells herself that he is okay, that nothing is wrong. But as the morning slips away, slowly giving way to the afternoon, her texts to him all unanswered and her calls sent to voicemail, the concern that had planted itself the moment she walked in that morning blooms. The flowers of it taking up space in her chest, making it hard to breathe as she remembers the last time he didn’t show up for work. How she’d dismissed her concern then, unaware it was love that was driving it, the feelings she’d had for months by that point only finding a name when she saw him in his hospital bed. 

As soon as it’s lunch time she stands up from her desk, her eyes flicking to Aaron’s still empty office as she slings her bag over her shoulder, “I’m going out.” 

Derek leans back in his chair, his hands on the back of his head as he looks at her, “Where are you thinking of going for lunch, Princess? I could be convinced to go to-”

“I’m just going home,” she says, the lie weak to her own ears, “I’ll let you know if I’m coming back later.” She hurries out of the bullpen before anyone can say anything else, ignoring their calls for her attention. As the glass door vibrates behind her as it slams, Dave steps out of his office, looking down at Emily’s now empty desk.

“Where did she go?” He asks, looking at the team, varying degrees of confusion on their faces. 

“She didn’t say,” JJ says, not looking up from her paperwork, “But I’ll you $20 she’s gone to Hotch’s place to check on him. She’s barely stopped looking at his office all morning.” 

“I’ll take that bet.”

Spencer frowns, “Is this a new bet, or part of the one about them getting together?” He asks, “Because there’s already over $1000 in that pool and it’s getting harder to keep track.”

He jumps as Derek pats him on the shoulder, looking up as the other man smirks at him, “Good thing we have a genius tracking it all then, isn’t it?” 

___

When she steps across the threshold into his apartment, the key he’d given her weeks ago clutched in her hand, it feels like she’s stepped back in time. The eerie quietness, the stillness in a home she now knew to be full of laughter and love, unnerving as she closes the door behind her. Nothing looks out of place as she does a quick visual sweep of the place, a smile flashing across her face as she sees the school project she’d been helping Jack with at the weekend still on the dining table. Aaron’s phone is on the kitchen counter, next to his keys and briefcase, and she sighs, her thumbnail briefly in between her teeth. She steps further into the apartment and shrugs off her jacket, laying it over the back of the couch. 

“Aaron?” She calls out, walking deeper into the apartment, her arms crossed over her chest, “Aaron, it’s Emily.” She comes to a stop outside his bedroom, the door slightly open, and she knocks lightly, frowning when she hears a quiet, but pained response.

“Jack? You’re home from school already?”

She pushes the door open, her eyebrows furrowing as she sees him. He’s lying in bed, pushing himself up on one hand, his other pressed against his forehead as he blinks at her, his expression bleary. He blinks a few times, as if he’s trying to clear his vision, frowning as he looks at her.

“Em?”

“Yeah,” she says, stepping closer, her gaze drifting to the nightstand, landing on a glass of water and a box of migraine tablets, “It’s me. It’s only lunchtime.” 

He groans as he lays back, his arm over his eyes, blocking out the light, “What are you doing here?” 

She knows its wrong, but something about the roughness of his voice, how haggard it sounds, makes her belly flip, “You didn’t show up to work and you didn’t answer your phone,” she says, stepping closer again, “I was worried.”

“Sorry,” he says, clearing his throat, “I tried to come in but my head hurts too much. I can’t even see properly.” 

She knew he suffered from migraines, that he had done ever since the explosion in New York that had almost cost him his hearing, but she’d never seen him have one. He was always so good at hiding his pain from those around him, from those who cared about him, and it makes her ache as she wonders just how many times he’d gone through this alone. 

She makes a decision there and then that she’s not letting him do that this time. 

“I’ll let Dave know I’m not coming back, and-”

“No, Em, it’s fine I don’t need a babysitter,” he says, grimacing when he protests a little too loudly, making his own head throb and his stomach turn, “You can go.”

She raises an eyebrow at him even though he’s not looking at her, and she finally sits down on the edge of the bed, her arms crossed over her chest in unnecessary defiance, “I’ll let Dave know I’m not coming back,” she says, repeating herself as if he’d never interrupted her, “Then I’ll call Jess and ask her to take Jack tonight,” she places her hand on his arm as he tries to interrupt again, swallowing thickly at the shift of his muscles beneath his skin as she squeezes, “And then I’ll just…hang out in your living room whilst you sleep this off, okay?” 

He opens an eye to look at her, the low light in the room that had filtered in through the closed curtains enough to make him feel immediately worse, “You don’t have to look after me.” 

“I know,” she says, screwing her hands together in her lap to stop herself from reaching out to run her fingers through his hair, “But I want to.” 

He doesn’t argue any further with her, and she’s unsure if it’s because he doesn’t have the strength, or because he actually wants her to stay, but she takes it. She leaves his bedroom, careful to make sure she’s as quiet as possible as she makes the calls she needs to make. She choses to ignore the teasing tone in Dave’s voice when she confirms where she is, and what sounds like chatter in the background from the rest of the team, and she makes polite conversation with Jessica, finding herself endlessly grateful that the woman never seemed to question her increasing part in Jack and Aaron’s lives. 

Once she’s done she does a few small chores for him, including putting away the dishes he’d washed but left out to dry, trying not to think too much about the fact she knows exactly where everything goes. She finds herself incapable of not checking on him again, she she walks to his bedroom, an icepack she’d found in his freezer in hand, making sure she’s quiet as she steps back into the room. 

“Em?”

“It’s me,” she replies, careful to keep her voice low as she walks back across the room, once again sitting on the edge of his bed, “I let Dave know you’re sick, said you likely won’t be in tomorrow either. And Jess was more than happy to take Jack,” she says, smiling softly at him as he opens his eyes with what seems like a herculean effort, “I brought you an ice pack,” she says as she hands it to him, “Do you need anything else?” 

“A new brain,” he quips, and she chuckles, passing him the icepack, the shiver that goes down her spine as their fingers touch something she puts down to the coldness of the ice, not the warmth of his skin. 

“Sadly I’m all out of those,” she says, smiling at him, “Besides, I kind of like your brain the way it is,” she adds before she can stop herself, internally cursing as soon as she’s said it. She’s strangely grateful that his vision is blurred, because she knows it means he can’t see the blush creeping across her cheeks, “You get some rest,” she says, squeezing his arm before she stands up, “I’ll be out there if you need me, and I’ll check in every now and again.”

She’s almost at the door when he calls out for her, “Em?”

She looks back, her hand tight around the door handle, “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

She smiles, pressing her lips together to stop it from growing any further, “Anytime.”

As she once again closes his bedroom door and walks back to his living room, she knows that she’d do anything for him.

___

Aaron groans as he wakes up, the pounding in his head now a dull thud, his vision fully clear as he opens his eyes to test their sensitivity. He rolls onto his back and blows out a breath, running his hands over his face as he sits up, keen not to lose any more time than he already had to the debilitating migraine he’d had the day before. 

He’d felt it coming. The familiar warning signs of his insomnia creeping back in and the nausea that never seemed to settle greeting him just a few days ago. He’d ignored them, vainly hoped they’d go away, that the migraine wouldn’t be as bad this time. A lie he told himself every time this happened, half convinced after he’d recovered that the pain wasn’t as terrible as he’d remembered even though it had always ended up being worse. 

There’s very little he remembered from the day before, the throbbing in his head and his blurred vision overriding everything else. He’d managed to get Jack off to school, once again finding himself grateful that they’d established a long time ago that Jessica would be the one to take him in, and then had attempted to get ready for work but had found himself unable to. It was as if his body had taken over, his instincts forcing him to simply crawl into bed and lay there, no matter how much he wanted to go to work. 

He remembered Emily. Remembered her appearing out of seemingly nowhere. Her perfume the only scent that didn’t seem to make him feel worse as she sat next to him on the edge of his bed, refusing to go anywhere when he said he was fine. She’d looked after him all afternoon, making sure he stayed hydrated, that he took his meds. She swapped out his icepacks and largely left him alone but never strayed too far, and never left it too long before she checked in on him again, poking her head around the corner of his bedroom door, almost tripping over the unfamiliar layout of the furniture in his bedroom every time because she didn’t want to turn a light on and cause him pain. 

Her undeniable beauty, the way she made him feel, were two of the only things that had broken through the hold his migraine had on him. He’d spent enough time with her, enough time learning about the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, how she would bite her lower lip when she was nervous, how her eyes carried more emotion than she meant them to, that he knew he’d never forget how beautiful she was. He could lose his sight entirely and never get and it back and he’d remember. 

He’d always known she was beautiful, even when he used to be married to Haley, but it didn’t take much time to realise it was more than skin deep. It radiated out of her, shone through her when she looked after those she cared for or when she became protective. It took him too long to realise what it all meant, why she became more and more beautiful to him as time went on, why every thing he learnt about her, good and bad, made him more drawn to her, and it was only when he was standing over a grave he knew was empty he realised. 

He was in love with her, and he had no idea what to do about it. 

She wasn’t the same when she came back, and sometimes he wondered if she really had died that day in Boston. If the Emily he had fallen in love with no longer existed. As time went on, he realised it didn’t matter. He loved every version of her, every bit of her that he could get, and he knew he always would. 

Dave was insistent that Emily felt the same way, constantly telling Aaron that he should go for it, that he was too old to watch them continue dane around each other, but Aaron was hesitant. He didn’t want to hurt her, didn’t want to push her into something, or make her feel as if she could no longer trust him as her best friend. So he put his feelings aside and put up with Dave’s comments, simply glaring at his friend if he ever said something too loudly with Emily close by. 

If all she ever needed was a friend, he would be that for her. 

He remembers her being there, remembers how her presence felt like more of a comfort than any medication could, but he doesn’t remember her leaving, sure he must have just slept through it. He stands up, testing his balance for a moment before he carries on and leaves the bedroom. He’s only made it a few paces into the main section of his apartment when he comes to a stop, his hand rubbing at his neck when he spots her. 

Emily was fast asleep on his couch, curled under a blanket he usually kept over the back of it, her head on a cushion he knows is too thin to sleep on. 

He steps closer and looks at her for a moment, taking in how relaxed she looked. Her mouth slightly hanging open, a small pool of drool on the cushion below, and her hand squished under her cheek. She looked impossibly more beautiful like this, and he feels a pang in his chest as he wishes more any anything he could see her like this every morning. That he could keep this version of her to himself, soft and warm and sleepy, the usual barriers she kept around herself, even around him at times, nowhere to be found. 

He steps closer again and she wakes up, sitting up suddenly, sucking in a breath that sounds panicked and he immediately feels guilty. 

“Em, it’s just me,” he says, smiling encouragingly as their eyes meet. 

“Aaron,” she says, wiping her mouth, clearing her throat as she tries to wake herself up, “Are you okay? Do you need anything,” she stands up, crossing her arms over her chest, feeling nothing short of exposed in her pjyamas - an old t-shirt and a pair of leggings - in front of him, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I must have-”

“It’s fine,” he says, smiling at her, “I feel better today, I promise,” he says, watching as she narrows her eyes at him, clearly not entirely believing him, “I mean it.” 

She nods and sits back down on the couch, desperately trying to suppress a yawn as she does so, “Good, I’m glad,” she says, smiling as he sits down next to her, “I was worried about you,” her smile turns tight as their eyes meet, “You weren’t at work and you weren’t answering your phone. It made me think of…”

She drifts off, knowing she’s already said more than she usually would, but she’s tired. She’d barely got any sleep between checking in on him every couple of hours and the lingering concern that had taken root in her belly. Festering until she felt nauseous, no amount of assuring herself that he would be ok, of sticking her head around the door to find him still asleep, let it settle. She still feels worried even now, the lines beneath his eyes deeper than usual, his skin paler. 

He sighs, closing his eyes as he shakes his head at himself, immediately regretting it when his briefly makes the throbbing in his head worse. She didn’t have to say anything else. They’d talked about it at length one evening after Jack had gone to bed, Emily’s eyes fixed on the spot on the floor where Aaron’s blood had once stained it as she explained her version of that day. How she’d known something was wrong but couldn’t explain why, her instincts driving her to seek him out.

Aaron was sure that it was her action, her insistence on checking in on him and ultimately finding him in the hospital, that had saved Jack and Haley that day. That they’d managed to buy enough time to get them into hiding, to give Jack what turned out to be those precious last few months with his mother. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to make up for that, something that had made his failure to save her from Ian even sharper than it already was. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, looking up at her, “I didn’t even really mean to get into bed let alone spend all day there-”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” she says, reaching out and placing her hand on his arm without thinking about it, his skin warm against hers, “It’s not your fault, it wasn’t back then either. I just…I was worried.” 

He nods, placing his hand over hers on his arm, marvelling at the softness of her skin, at how their fingers seemed to slot together perfectly, and he squeezes, “Well thank you for looking after me, you didn’t have to.” 

She smiles at him, her eyes lingering on his face as she takes it all in. The fine lines she usually didn’t see because she was rarely this close to him, the smattering of freckles on his nose, the appearance of stubble over his jaw. He was beautiful, his presence enough to make her feel better, the residual concern she’d woken up feeling gone simply because he was next to her, his hand in hers, and all of a sudden all of the reasons she had for holding back from him no longer make any sense. 

“Yes,”  she says, swallowing thickly as she lets herself be as brave as he always said she was, “I did,” she presses her lips together into a firm line and she reaches out, pushing hair from his forehead just like she had stopped herself from doing the day before, “It’s what you do for the person you love.” 

Everything slows down, the world shrinking down to just the two of them. The breath she lets out catches on every rib as it escapes, almost painful. A dividing line that she’d forever see her life as being before and after. The few seconds it takes him to smile are among some of the longest of her life, drawn out as she worries her worst fears had been realised - that she’d jumped and he hadn’t caught her. 

He shifts closer, the hand that wasn’t tangled with hers cupping her cheek, “Em…” 

“I mean it,” she says, her tongue peeking out to wet her lower lip, something he watches intently, “I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time.” 

He lets it wash over him, sinks into the feeling of awe that he knows he’d willingly drown in. It meant so much more than he ever thought it could, to know his feelings were reciprocated, that he wasn’t alone in it. 

“I love you too,” he replies, watching as she sags with relief, “Probably longer than I should.” 

She smiles, wide and bright, unshed tears shining in her eyes, “Really?” 

He chuckles, amazed by the fact she didn’t realise the power she had, that she didn’t know how enthralled he was by her. 

“Really,” he confirms, pressing his thumb into her lower lip, testing the plushness of it, “Even if you did drool on my couch.”

She scoffs, outrage taking over as he chuckles at her, “You-”

He leans forward to press his lips against hers, cutting off her response. She grasps the back of his head, holding him in place, and he wraps his arms around her, his palm warm on her back, everything else forgotten except this moment. Something they’d both survived so much for. 

At their wedding, only 18 months later, Dave presents them with an incredibly expensive bottle of champagne that he bought using his winnings from the team’s bet. A wry smile on his face as he claims he was the one to thank for the fact there was a wedding at all, that he’d pushed them towards each other. 

For once, Emily can’t bring herself to correct him, to say they’d done it themselves, that they’d found their way to each other, her happiness far overriding anything else. 

-x-

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[jedifarmerr]

Javi's Having a Baby Mini-Series

Pairing: Javier Peña x OFC/F!Reader (no y/n or physical descriptions but has established backstory. Pronouns used are she/her & you)

Chapter Rating: E (18+)

Word Count: A little under 9k

Series Warnings: Explicit sexual content & pregnancy along with everyone that comes with it.

Chapter Warning: Language, little bit of alcohol consumption, some discussions of Colombia (post-season 3), unprotected P in V, explicit sexual content, a smidge of Dom!Javi.

This series is technically a sequel to my other series, When Javier Met... but can be read as a standalone. Currently, I have planned about 5-6 chapters which follow Javier and his wife as they deal with a somewhat unplanned pregnancy. Honestly this is gonna be pretty smutty and really fluffy. This chapter is told completely in Javier's POV but will alternate.

Chapter 1: The Beginning

“-that’s why I always rub vegetable oil over the grill rack-”

Steve was rambling on and on as if he was leading some seminar on grilling 101, co-hosted by the ever intrigued Joe while Javier was just…there. Enduring it with feign interest – an elongated nod here, a carefully placed hum there. He’d rarely play along, but it was all part of his plan. 

And so far it was working out. They had officially dubbed themselves kings of the grill and Javier handed over the reigns. Now, he just had to stand back and let the light breeze ruffle through his hair. 

While it was late September, the Austin heat was alive and well. The late afternoon sun was that perfect shade of yolk yellow. There wasn’t a cloud spotting the sky, just the canopies of the mature oak trees which provided some much needed shade for days like these. 

Just as Javier thought the stereotypical suburban conversation was finally winding down, Joe started to pipe up with another trick of the trade. “I’m gonna grab a beer,” Javier said, having reached his fill. He walked over to the cooler and popped it open. “Want one?” He waved a can in their direction. 

“Ya don’t happen to have any Budwesiser in there?” Steve asked. Joe spit out a chuckle, catching the can in the makeshift mitt of his hands.

Javier tightly shook his head, “No. Just Tecate and some…wine coolers; there’s whiskey and water inside.” 

“Well, I guess Tecate it is.” His voice ran low with faux displeasure. All to rile Javier up and it worked like a charm. Steve stifled his grin as Javier inaudibly grumbled to himself, plucking out one for both him and Steve before slamming the lid shut with his elbow. 

The wet can met Steve’s sternum with an ‘unf.’ Melted ice leaving an ink blot on the salmon polo shirt. 

Steve just pursed his lips, opening the beer with a satisfying crack then slugging it back. “Ahh, nothin’ much better than a cold beer on a hot day.” Steve invaded Javier’s personal space, arms pressed together and a cocky twinkle in his eye. “Except if it’s a Budweiser.” 

The low drawl came too close to his ear and Javier felt his skin prickle, his face going all wrinkled as if the waft of breath reeked something rotten. “What the fuck is that? Some tagline?” He grimaced with a scoff. “I don’t even know how you drink that shit, man. Tastes like piss.” 

“And you’d know that from… personal experience?” Steve kept the top half of his face serious, all creased brows and dead set eyes but his smile gave way to his smugness. Which only seemed to burn brighter at Joe’s barking laugh. 

The comment made his middle finger itch but all Javier could do was roll his eyes. Their kids were a couple feet away and the last thing he needed or wanted was another lecture on young eyes. 

There were times – like these – when Javier regretted introducing his old partners. Separately they were…tolerable but together they were a festering migraine. Cut from the same cloth with their lame ass humor and deriving some sick pleasure of pushing Javier’s buttons – which seemed to be a specialty of theirs. 

“Watch it,” Javier pointed at Steve, “One more from you and I’m sending you back to Connie's sister's. You can spend another night with your brother-in-law and his - what was it again? Stamp collection?” Steve groaned at the memory and immediately regretted telling Javier about it. 

“Stamp collection?” Joe’s voice matched the judgment etched in his face. An expression that was quickly veiled by a thick wave of smoke wafting from the newly unlidded grill. 

“Don’t get me started. That guys a fuckin’ bore.” Steve shook his head and waved it away like it was too painful to even talk about. “Just consider yourself lucky that you two get along.” 

Joe wagged his tongs at Javier, “Ya know, we might give Javi a lot of shit for it, but maybe he was onto somethin’. I mean, marry your friend’s little sis and boom - got yourself a guarantee.” Steve sputtered on his drink. 

Javier smashed his lips together, jaw shifting back and forth – chewing on a snarky remark and trying to figure out exactly how he wanted to spit it out. His mouth opened but promptly clamped shut once he felt a small hand tug at the back of his shirt. 

The scowl on his face morphed into a soft smile as he turned to look down at his niece and the blonde toddler she had in tow. The men behind him snickering at his luck.

“Uncle Javi,” she said in a small voice, hands clasped behind her back and pigtails swaying from side to side; Javier knew exactly what she wanted by the look on her face. 

“Let me guess, the toys?” Her whole face lit up and she bobbed her head. “Give me one second, okay?”

“What do you say?” Joe probed. 

The little girl hugged his leg, “Thank you Uncle Javi.” She then skipped away with the unsteady toddler trailing just behind. “Uncle Javi’s gonna get it for us,” she yelled to Joe and Steve’s eldest, Tyler and Olivia, who had clearly sent her as the messenger. 

As Javier set his drink down, he shot the two men with an icy glare. Then wiped his wet hands on his jeans while heading to the ‘detatched garage’ – ya right, that thing couldn’t even fit a Ford Escort Cosworth. 

The rental home had no basement, and with just over 1,000 square feet there wasn’t much storage inside so it worked perfectly for the runoff of combining households. Or at least it would’ve if it wasn’t overrun by bargain finds for her niece and nephew from any and every garage sale in a two-mile radius. 

With a hard tug the door creaked open. Nestled between a few trees it was dark and musty, the single window having been covered up by brown paint to block out peepers. There was a ball and chain switch light and Javier pulled it. The dim light casted long shadows on the dark walls. 

Javier started by setting out the miniature lawn mower and grill – which she’d called a real find since it included plastic food and utensils. He scanned the rickety shelves full of neatly labeled cardboard boxes. 

Dolls. 

Javi’s things. 

Board games. 

The box at the very end caught his eye as if it was calling to him like Jumanji. It didn’t look like the others. Indented and dusty with the letters DEA scribbled in black sharpie. It’d been years since he sealed it up but could still recall every item it contained. The newspaper clippings from his stints in Colombia that his father gathered, even framing a few. A couple photos of him and Steve (like the ones they took at La Catedral), some of him and Joe, one in particular he remembered with Ruby at his going away party. His badge was stuffed in there as well as a few other mementos. 

His fingers drifted unconsciously over the letters. Realizing, he pulled away as if it would brand into his skin and expose the moment of weakness. 

He quickly snapped away and grabbed the box of outdoor toys and left. Kicking the door shut and plopping it on the grass

As the kids attacked it like ants at a picnic, they sang their gratitude. Tyler whisked out the skip-it. 

“Hey, be careful with that - thing,” Javier eyed him seriously and Tyler looked down at the toy in his hands and nodded. He remembered what happened last time and lets just say Javier couldn’t bother to hold his tongue when that thing whacked his ankle, leaving a welt the size of a baseball for weeks. 

As Javier turned to make his way back to the grill, his gaze wandered to his wife. In the corner of the backyard, she was beaming at him and like a magnet, he gravitated towards her. 

The moment in the shed was forgotten when he approached the patio table, smiling at her. He offered a nod to Connie and Ruby while grabbing the back of his wife’s chair. “Thanks for doin’ that,” she said and Javier made a passive sound, waving it off. 

He was more preoccupied by the baby cradled in her arms. Even more so, the domesticity of the sight which seemed to make his heart pick up in cadence although he ignored it. “How’s the little guy?” 

“Perfect,” she said more to Connie than him. “He’s an angel.” 

“Must’ve got that from you,” Javier countered with a jut of his chin to Connie. She snickered and tilted her head in agreement. However the baby seemed to take issue with his teasing and flashed Javier the stink-eye. “But that look – he definitely got from Steve.”

“You’d know better than any of us,” Connie said, a smile quirked on her lips. 

An easy laugh fell from Javier, his wife craned her neck to look up at him and as if on instinct his lips pressed against her forehead – the scent of her shampoo mingled with a tinge of sweat. Connie and Ruby couldn’t help themselves, exchanging a sly glance while sipping on their sweet tea. 

“Is food about ready?” She asked. 

“I’d assume so but with those two -” they all looked over at the two men who were competing on which burger was flipped higher. “-yeah, I should probably get back over there.” 

“Good idea,” Ruby said as she shook her head at her husband, a loving look in her eye despite it. 

With one last smile at her, Javier made his way back. Parched, he snatched his beer from the table but before he could take a sip he caught Steve watching him with the dopiest grin on his face. “What?” He slowly lowered it away from his lips. 

Steve shook his head, “Nothin.” The word was pitchy and rushed and Javier popped his hip, brows arched high on his forehead. Steve knew exactly what that meant and sighed through a smile. “It’s just - I don’t know it’s funny to see ya like this. You’re helpin’ with the kids. Shit. Wearing a wedding ring.” Steve clinked his beer against the gold band. “I just - never thought I’d see the day. But it looks good on ya, Jav.” 

There was a glint of something – almost sentimental in his blue eyes. His voice came wrapped in affection and intertwined by equal amounts of relief and disbelief. 

For Steve, no matter how many times he saw Javier like this, it was still hard to believe. His mind was in this constant state of dissonance and he wasn’t sure if it would ever assimilate that the man standing in front of him was the same one he spent countless hours sitting across from at the embassy. Even more so the man he hugged goodbye at the airport on that dreaded December day. 

“It really is,” Joe added and for a moment none of them spoke. Not just because they didn’t know what to say but also so the rare, sweet moment could resonate and sink in. 

Steve finally broke it with a playful slap to Javier’s shoulder. “Soon enough you’ll be one of us. House in the suburbs and golfing on the weekends.” 

The idea made Javier shudder. To him, the suburbs were for people who enjoyed block parties, small talk and wore sandals with oversized polos tucked into jorts. “God I hope not.” He tipped his beer back, “No offense,” he muttered into the aluminum can before taking a drink. 

“You say that now,” Joe said, “But I’m sure your mind will change once you have kids.” Javier silently choked, a string of golden-brown liquid tricked from his lips. 

“Wait, you guys thinkin’ of having kids?” There was no hiding the shock in Steve’s voice nor the way his brow furrowed as if mental images of Javier as a father caught in the creases of it. 

In all fairness, Javier never could really imagine it for himself either, but now – he wasn’t so sure. 

When he was with Lorraine she spoke of the future like it already happened. She had a vision, grand plans of a family but no matter how much detail she went into, whenever he tried to picture – even during their small scare – something about it always felt off. Wrong. 

He had no problem imagining Lorraine with the three kids she already had names for at one of those Walmart photo ops. But him next to her? Just mucked it all up. It warped  the nice family portrait into a botched copy and paste job like a teenage girl cut out a picture of him and glued it onto someone else’s body. 

Maybe he was too young then. Maybe their plans for the future clashed too much – dreams of seeing the world and making a difference didn’t go hand in hand with a white picket fence near her parents in Laredo. 

Or maybe it was simple, he just didn’t belong next to her. 

Whatever it was, he wasn’t certain of wanting a family and his decision of forgoing that path for his career was made easier by it. 

Obviously things had changed since the day he left her at the altar. He wasn’t sure whether it was age, the fact that he was nearing the time where it became now or never; or if it was due to him finally being with the right person, but the idea of having a kid had floated around his brain. For the most part staying on the edges. 

But it was there. 

He found himself wondering as he watched her with her niece and nephew or Steve’s kids what one of their own would look like. The unconscious part of his brain that took over while sleeping made him dream of her pregnant, of children running around in the fields with his Pops just as he did – though he didn’t think too much about it, he wasn’t some Sigmund Freud looney. 

These things seemed trivial, normal and out of his control. But there was no denying that when he did imagine a family portrait with her it didn’t make his skin crawl with imposter syndrome. Actually, he felt like he belonged. 

“We haven’t really talked about it,” Javier said. 

It was the truth. 

The last time the topic really came up was – well, it had to be when she was still just his friend. Her ex wasn’t a fan of kids and from what he gathered she was neutral on the matter – if it happens, it happens mentality. Javier couldn’t say the same, he was highly opposed. At the time claiming marriage – hell, even a relationship weren’t in his plans, let alone children. 

Had something changed for her? He didn’t know why Joe would say something if it hadn’t. Did she think that because his mind had changed on marriage, that children would follow? 

It wasn’t like he put up much of a fight on the one. Once she was finally his, he proposed to her just six months later and married her only six months after that. While it might’ve seemed fast, she’d been in his life for over a decade and even if she wasn’t his biggest fan for the majority of it, she was his best friend before she was ever his girlfriend. 

For Javier, the role of boyfriend and then husband came surprisingly easy to him. Or at least with her it did.

But – a father? Now that was a whole different bag and one he wasn’t entirely sure about. 

“Has she said something?” Javier tried to sound indifferent, casual even but they knew him better. They could hear the edge of nerves that tainted his low sound. Poor Steve was stuck in the middle, shifting his gaze between the two while slurping on his drink. 

“Oh, no - no. I just thought-” Joe cut himself off, thinking better of it. He waved off the words like he was trying to get them to dissipate along with the smoke. “Ya know what? It’s nothing - just forget I said anything.” Joe tried to smile but it fell lopsided, nervous and he stared down at the grill. 

In most instances, Javier would’ve pushed the matter but on this topic – no way. 

Instead, he found himself trying to think back on any and every conversation to see if there was something he missed. Coming up empty-handed, he watched her. He saw the smile on her face as she made silly faces at the baby in her arms. How her lips stretched somehow even wider as her niece delivered her a plate of pretend food to which she scarfed down. 

His throat felt tight and a heavy feeling pulled at his chest. 

There was no one he loved more than her. She’d given him everything, even the things he didn’t know he wanted or needed and he wanted to return it. But if that’s what she wanted, could he give it to her? 

Joe called his name, but it sounded distant like it was coming from a different dimension. He called for him again and again, each time growing clearer but it wasn’t until Joe snapped his fingers that he fully returned to the present. “Food’s ready. Wanna go tell ‘em?” 

It took a second for the words to register, but once they did he offered an unsteady nod. He shoved a smile on his face and the conversation to the back of his mind to deal with later. 

—-

The night was cool, a breeze teased the leaves and the impending fall. 

Dinner had come and gone. Followed by s’mores around the fire pit. Javier was sitting between the two men, listening intently to Steve talk about his current case. An in-depth investigation on ramp workers who were paid off by the cartel to smuggle heroin and cocaine into Miami. They had already confiscated a couple kilos. 

Which may have sounded like a large amount but it wasn’t even scratching the surface. 

He tried to estimate how much came and went on the river near Pop’s house. Those boats would come and go day in and day out. And he just watched, incapable of doing a damn thing about it. 

Stechner’s voice playing on loop in his head. 

We lost it. You were there. 

The thought of him being right made him feel like he was on one of those boats, sick from the choppy waters.

“Tyler, don’t poke people with that.” 

The stern tone of Joe abruptly snapped Javier from his thoughts with a jerk of his leg. He glanced over at Tyler, his eyes darting from side to side like a guilty puppy. “Hey, I’ve - uh - actually been needing to talk to you.” 

“Me?” Steve pointed at his chest and Joe shook his head and tilted it towards Javier. There was something about Joe’s smile, it looked the same but it didn’t meet his eyes and an uneasy feeling balled in the pit of his stomach. He stole a glance at Steve, but he offered no clues or clarity on the situation; equally as in the dark as Javier. 

Steve started to lift from his chair, thumb pointed across the way to the women. “No, stay,” Joe said, signaling him to sit back down. Joe angled his lawn chair towards Javier, making his body stiffen up. 

“Okay, I’m just gonna come right out and say I know you said you’re done with the DEA-” 

“Joe.” His voice was firm – a warning that lacked any real fury or fight. 

“Javi, just-” Javier shook his head. “Javi, please. Just hear me out, alright.” He’d never heard Joe sound like that, pleading and doing everything not to draw any attention from the women across the way. Javier took a deep breath, the exhale flaring his nostrils. He clenched his jaw, arms crossed tight to his chest. 

As Joe continued, his voice was soft – barely above a whisper. “Last week a few of the higher ups approached me about an opening - seems the head of the branch is retiring before the end of the year and they were wondering if you might be interested.” 

Javier could feel the burn of Steve’s eyes on his cheek, but he just continued to stare at the crackling embers. His silence sitting heavy –  full of secrets and unspoken memories of a life that felt like another yet festered like a fresh wound. 

“What’d you tell ‘em?” The words came as thick as the humidity that wallowed in the air. 

Joe glanced uneasily at Steve, then leaned in on his elbows. “The truth: I wasn’t sure and would ask,” he said. “Javi - I just thought. You were a brilliant agent.” Javier scoffed, brushing his thumb over his pursed lips. “Seriously, one of the best. I thought maybe since it’s been what - 3 or 4 years -” 

“Five,” Javier corrected and his eyes finally met Steve’s. There was a darkness that marred the crystal blue. A darkness Javier understood. Steve had seen Colombia – had lived it alongside him. 

Whereas Joe had spent a few months in Guadalajara along with Javi on the task force for Kiki and decided never to leave the comforts of home again. 

Joe grabbed Javier by the shoulder and lightly shook him. Trying to bring him back from a place he didn’t intend to send him to. “I just thought I’d ask. Give ya something to think about.” 

Javier tried, but could only offer a twitch of a smile. There was nothing to say or at least nothing he wanted to at that moment. He already felt too vulnerable – too exposed. The raw emotions written all over his face. 

So, he let the silence envelop him once again. As the offer rang in his ears like a dog whistle. 

It had clawed its way in – curiosity rearing its ugly head. Despite all of his efforts to ignore it as Joe and Steve shared stories while he sat in silent jealousy. Pushing it away during those bi-monthly phone calls from the DEA as they offered him another position, always better than the last – things he thought were mere pipe dreams while a bright-eyed student at the academy. 

Ironic, isn’t it? Only after resigning, after all those years of working towards it did they come. All that time dedicating himself to a fight he deemed worthy – truly believing he could make a real difference. 

And for what? 

There were no words that could equate to the devastation he felt. How lost he became after resigning. 

He returned to Laredo a shell of himself; a man who had been stripped of his purpose and direction. Seeking a semblance of what he lost in a place he’d never find it. Him and his father both knew that – the life of a rancher wasn’t for him. 

Javier was someone who needed – craved a certain level of dedication to be fulfilled in his life. He was never someone who did something half-ass. Throwing every cell and particle of himself into it. It was no doubt his downfall, but he just couldn’t be someone that drifted through the motions. 

He found a fragment of it in his job as a professor. Able to teach and educate others on topics he was so fiercely passionate about. 

It was something but it wasn’t the same. It never would be, just like his view of the DEA. 

Sadly though, he couldn’t seem to forget about the life that had been taken away from him. A part of him wondered if he’d always yearn for it back. Or if finally, the feelings of betrayal and memories of corruption would slowly eat it away. 

Deep down he knew, it was clear that after all these years there would always be something in him that wished for it back – that would always miss it. 

He’d never understand why. Why he wanted for it so – why the word yes seemed to tingle the tip of his tongue now more than ever. 

—

The toys were put away, shed locked up and the fire was out. The stench of smoke was purged from his body. For the scent of cedarwood and a manly hint of citrus on his skin. 

Javier ran a towel through his damp hair and down his dripping wet body. Then dressed in a pair of cotton sleep shorts and plain tee before heading off to the bedroom. 

Just like every other night she was at the vanity in the corner of the room. A smile parted her lips when she spotted him in the mirror. “Hey baby,” she said, “Did ya get any warm water?” 

He chuckled, “Of course not.” 

“Sorry,” her lips pulled down, “I tried to be quick.” 

“Not your fault,” he said against her hair, then kissed the top of her head. The old ass water heater was shot and until it was completely blown out the landlord refused to replace it. “What’s this?” He asked, spotting a new picture frame next to her jewelry box. 

He plucked it by the silver edge, measling it up to examine the photo that was currently blocked by a bottle of hand lotion. 

“I love that picture,” she said, eyes rolling up to him. “It might be my favorite from our wedding.” 

His brows raised, “Really? Not the one of you stuffing cake in my mouth?” 

A giggle slipped through her smile as she remembered it. He’d been sweet and carefully fed her the piece so as to not ruin her makeup but she just couldn’t resist. Before he knew it, the cake was smashed into his face, icing smeared over his shocked open mouth and catching on the tip of his nose. 

The only thing that made it worth it was the sound of her breathless laughter and the fact she used her mouth to clean it off. 

“A close second,” she said, “But this one – in this you look so happy.” 

He really did. Chalk it up to newlywed bliss, his skin was glowing and so was the grin that took up his entire face as he held her impossibly close. As if she didn’t vow to be by his side for the rest of her life only twenty minutes before.

Given how he ran out on his first wedding, Javier never expected to have another shot at it. But. Of course it ended up being the best day of his life. 

What Lorraine had planned was the complete opposite of what he would’ve wanted. A stuffy church on a blistering day. He liked about two of his groomsmen. The others were arranged by Lorraine so she could have the biggest and most impersonal bridal party Laredo had ever seen. She had chosen these gaudy floral displays with extravagant bows, saying it would distract from the hideous mustard cloth pews – he didn’t have to see it to know it didn’t. 

This though – what she planned was everything he never knew he wanted. 

It was intimate, surrounded by only close friends and family. There was a refreshing breeze in the air, a mild and cloudless day. It couldn’t have been more perfect for the small garden wedding on the outskirts of San Antonio. 

Javier didn’t cry in front of others – hell, he didn’t cry in private either but he got dangerously close that day. So flooded by emotions with his father sniffling in the front row, her walking down the aisle in a slinky satin dress with a bouquet of white orchids and a smile that said, she was the luckiest woman in the world. 

His eyes went glassy, blurring at the rim. It took all his strength not to bawl like a baby. 

“Are you alright?” She said, so soft as if others were around and the sweetness of her words were only meant for him to hear. 

“Yeah.” He placed the photo down and she subtly adjusted it back in its rightful place. “I wanna ask you something,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. She swung her legs around the stool and reached for his hand, as if to steady herself along with him. 

She knew him too well and the sound of his voice and his peculiar demeanor made her smile fade into a flat line. Her eyes searched his face as his lips parted and tongue ran across it, the string of his thoughts pulling taut on his brows. She didn’t say a word, just squeezed his hand a little tighter as if to coax the words out of him. 

“Do you want kids?” His voice was shaky – a whispered unease that went straight to the point. Rendering her speechless, the surprise of it making it stall in the air. 

She blinked – quick and in succession – and he could see when the light bulb lit up. “Joe said something didn’t he?” He didn’t rat on him verbally, but tilted his head to the side and she sighed. “You know that Joe thinks everyone wants kids-” 

“But do you?” He interrupted before she could dismiss the subject. She went silent – gnawing thoughtfully on her bottom lip. 

She gave a slow, unsure nod. “At one point - I did.” 

“And now?” 

“I-” She rolled her lips together. “It’s not that simple.” 

“Just answer,” his voice was as soft and pleading as his brown-eyed gaze. “Please.” 

She sifted through her thoughts, the momentary pause made his heart pound against his chest. Stopping completely as she took a deep breath. 

“Javi - when we got together, I knew there was a strong chance we wouldn’t have kids. That wasn’t something you seemed to want and if that would’ve been some kind of deal breaker then we would’ve had this conversation way before a year into our marriage.” 

A small smile covered her lips while her hand came to rest on his cheek, her thumb brushing over his skin. “I love you, Jav. All I care about is getting to spend the rest of my life with you. Whether that means it’s just us or not - and I guess that depends on what you want but please know, I’m happy either way.” 

Javier searched for any sign of disappointment, but found nothing but genuine honesty and adoration. He wasn’t sure how, he didn’t think it was possible but he somehow loved her even more. He took her hand from his cheek and brought it to his lips, the glint of his mother’s ring catching in his eye as he kissed her knuckles. 

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” She asked, steady and sure and all he could respond with was a shake of his head and a small shrug. 

His thoughts were all jumbled and he couldn’t seem to sort through them before more piled in. 

The questions ringing in his head reminded him of the ones that flickered through his mind in the days that followed after being a little reckless; when the box was empty or a condom wasn’t on hand and yet, he still finished deep inside her. 

A random thought would pop in his head. Things like, did he want to get her pregnant? Or more so, would he rather leave it up to fate than having to make a choice? 

How would he react if she said the words, I’m pregnant? Would that be what he wanted? 

Would he be a good father? Like Steve and Joe – like his own? He’d like to think so, but honestly didn’t know. There was no doubt in his mind she’d be the best mother. 

He tried to remember if he ever found an answer to any of those questions, but he didn’t think so. Her period came like clockwork and all those what if’s faded until the cycle repeated itself. Ending with the same inconclusive answers. 

Maybe because there wasn’t any. At least none that were clear-cut and easy. 

How could there be? This wasn’t a light decision. It was life-changing and Javier wasn’t sure if he was equipped or even wanted anything to change in the perfect bubble he lived with her. 

But he wasn’t so sure he didn’t. 

It was so confusing. The idea of saying yes and severing the opportunity both didn’t sit completely right and he just wasn’t quite ready to make that decision. 

“I don’t know,” he finally said and he hated not having an answer. 

Still, her smile came warm and reassuring. “That’s okay. It’s a big decision and we don’t have to decide on it tonight. I never even expected us to be having it so take all the time you need. But please remember, I’m happy either way. Okay?” 

The tension he didn’t realize he was holding released from his shoulders. He nodded then softly kissed her. His stomach had been in knots all night and with one of the conversations out of the way, it grumbled. While she finished her bedtime routine, he set off to the kitchen for a late night snack. 

After a small bowl of cereal, Javier checked the locks and brushed his teeth. When he returned to the room, she was propped up in bed with a book in her lap. The bedside lamp was pouring over her, the light glowing on her blue satin nightie like the sun in the sky. Her nipples perked through the flimsy material, practically begging for attention and his cock twitched at the idea of running his tongue along it. 

Shutting the door, Javier crawled into bed and immediately nuzzled into her neck. The book clapped shut as his lips wrapped around that sensitive spot behind her ear. 

“Whaddaya think you’re doing?” She teasingly asked and he looked up at her with big, round innocent eyes. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a lilt of naughty playfulness while grabbing her by the waist; the satin bunching in his large fist as he brought her flush to his side. 

“Oh, really?” She giggled at the scratch of his mustache and the light hum of his lips vibrating against her skin. Inhaling the scent of her – the same smell he loved so much before she was his – the same one that now lingered on him – that filled his nostrils when he walked through the front door. 

The sweet scent of home. 

Dragging his lips across her shoulder, he placed wet kisses along her arm. His hand roamed from her waist to the lace-trim hem. Her breath stuttered as fingertips ghosted the soft flesh of her thighs, pulling it up to her belly. 

“Now what do we have here?” He rasped in her ear then leaned back. His brow quirked with a taunting glint in his eyes and he hauled the comforter back. She gasped, her nipples hardening from the sudden exposure to the fan above. 

“Playing so innocent,” he said, tracing along the crease of her thigh, her lips tumbled apart as he explored further. “When you’re not wearing any panties and…” he delicately teased open her folds, careful to avoid touching her most sensitive areas while revealing where she glistened for him. “Just like I expected, already so wet for me.” 

The noise she let out was pathetic, his fingertips barely brushing along her slit. “Jav-” The gasp of his name was cut short by the seal of his lips. She sank into the feeling of it, letting him kiss her deep and dizzying. His tongue slowly coming to swipe across her lips, tongue sliding into the wet warmth of her mouth. 

Her body tightened with each tantalizing stroke to her slit, hopeful and needy for more. Her chest heaved, small mewls tumbled into his mouth as she worked to keep herself from chasing the feeling, and taking before he was ready to give. 

“Please,” she panted as her fingers winded into his hair to pull it just the way he liked. A little tug that shot straight to his cock. He growled at the feeling and broke the kiss. Her lips were plump-kissed, looking absolutely wrecked and it drove him crazy with desire. 

She mewled, her legs twitching to an almost kick like she was forcing herself back from throwing a tantrum. A grin parted his lips at the thought and finally, his slicked up fingertips found her clit. Her head fell back with a moan and he took advantage of it. Latching his lips onto her neck. The needy whimpers of relief turning into broken gasps as he mouthed his way down to what started all this – her satin-covered nipples.

He flicked his tongue over the bud and her hips jerked. “Uh-uh,” he said, the taunting hum vibrating against the hardened peak as he continued his ministrations. 

The swirl of his tongue was as languid as his fingers. The sweet sounds of her whimpering filled the room as he lavished her breasts with attention. His tongue moved in broad and deliberate strokes until her nipples were taut and the sopping material stuck against her tacky skin. 

The need for release thrummed bright and hot through her body, her legs shaking for it. “Please,” she gasped, finally at the end of her rope. “Please, Javi.” 

“Please what, baby?” His teeth grazed her bud, and her back bowed. His hand pressed into the arc of her hip and she shivered as her back met the bed again. “Come on, tell me what you need.” 

“More, please. More,” she begged with a dewy look in her eyes. “Javi.” His name trembled around her parted lips, a mere whine and he couldn’t deny it. His finger dipped to her pussy and sunk into the warm wet heat as his thumb pressed to her clit. 

The moan she let out sounded like it was ripped from her chest, so uninhibited, so lewd. His cock strained for more. A second digit soon joined in with the first, an easy stretch from how wet she was. With a curl of his fingers, he stole the breath from her lungs. 

“Is that what you needed?” He asked in a near growl and responded with a wordless nod. “That’s what I thought.” 

His fingers pumped in and out of her pussy, “You like watching?” He asked, catching her staring along with him. “Like seeing how good you take my fingers, how wet they get.” She choked out what he believed was some agreement. 

Her cunt clenching from the depraved squelch. “You’re so worked up,” he licked his lips.  “I can feel you, already so close.” 

The sound of his voice – raw with desire – broke her. The last shred of pride snapped as the ache for release became too much. She started babbling, telling him exactly what he wanted to hear. How good he made her feel. How much she needed him. How he was the only one who could give it to her. 

Javier started to grind into her thigh, his cock pulsing at the feeling of her slick walls, how tight they felt around his fingers.

Soon, he coaxed the ache in his balls and worked tight and fast at her clit. Continuing to drive into that perfect spot over and over again until finally, she gripped at the sheets with a cry of his name and a rush of slick coated his fingers. 

“Fuck, you look so good when you cum,” he said and she whined as the waves of her climax finally receded. Her eyes darkened, fixated on his mouth and the hollow of his cheeks as he sucked the taste of her from his fingers like it was candy. 

At the loud pop, she fisted the front of his t-shirt and pulled him into a harsh, sloppy kiss. All teeth and tongue, she licked the taste of her from his mouth. 

This. When she got like this – urgent – desperate to feel him inside her – it was his heaven. 

She whined as he broke away, but quickly bit down on the sound as he rucked off his shirt. Before it even hit the floor, she was toppling him and he willingly met the mattress. Letting her straddle him and grind her bare pussy over his clothed and painfully hard cock.  

His hands dug into her thighs and kneaded the soft flesh. “Needy little thing,” he said in a sinfully low sound that made her hips buck and a moan fall from his lips. 

She ripped off her nightgown like even the skimpiest item of clothing was too hot on her lust-hot skin. 

Before he could even register the sight of her bare breasts, they were pressed into his chest. The hardened buds brushing against his heated skin as her tongue trailed over the bulging vein on his neck, tasting the sheen of salty sweat. 

He thought to himself, he could cum just like this – like teenagers dry humping in their parents basement. 

At a tug to the band of his sleep shorts, he lifted his hips and she shimmied them off his legs. His hand shot to the bedside drawer, slapping around then pulling the knob. She dragged her wet slit along the taut skin of his cock, mouthing along his chest and his head lulled back with a groan. 

She was making it nearly impossible to search for a condom, her moans vibrating against his skin, making him stop and start every second. 

A wave of relief washed over him once he felt the plastic edge of the box. His hand dove inside like a child in a cookie jar. She sucked at the shallow of his neck and he moaned her name. The haze of desire threatening to overtake him, but with a deep breath and a new determination he shook his hand around the box. 

Except there was no rustling of wrappers, just the echo of the box walls hitting his hand.  

Fuck. 

He grabbed it out and tipped it over but nothing came out. She remained oblivious with little nips to his ear. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

He groaned in frustration and longing as the tip of his cock caught inside her – soaked and stretching around him. The box skidded across the ground and his brain fizzled – overtaken by a stupid and primal need to be inside her. 

“We’re out,” he strained and she shot up. Concern cinching her brows, which quickly morphed into pleasure as his warm palms grabbed at her breasts, pinching her nipples between his forefinger and thumb. Her head fell back with a roll of her hips that made his nostrils flare with a heavy exhale. 

“What do you wanna do?” Her hand skated across her neck, down to brush across the hands at her breasts. His jaw clenched. “I can blow you or you can stick it-” 

“No.” The word came from deep in his throat – low and harsh and he felt how wet it made her, how her body trembled at the feral sound. He knew her suggestions were far wiser but the unhinged part of his brain was roaring, refusing to be ignored. “Wanna be right here.” He notched his tip at her entrance. “Can I?” 

She was just as needy and desperate as him. With a fast and eager nod, her hips lifted and hand wrapped around his cock to guide him inside her. Once she was fully seated, flushed together a moan fell in unison around the room. 

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good. Shit.” 

Despite being inside her hundreds of times, it still somehow felt novel. Tight and hot and grasping around the thick girth of his cock, it never failed to take his breath away. 

Her hands splayed across his chest, steadying herself as she started to slowly roll her hips.

“Fuck, you were made to take me.” Desire burned deep in his lower belly as his eyes met hers – hooded and pooling with lust. 

His breath caught, wet and sinful when the tip of his cock brushed against that spot that made her pussy tighten around him, a sweet gasp of his name tripping alongside a stunted moan. His breathing turned ragged, flaring his nostrils as he fought the desire to fuck up into her and take his own release. 

Instead, his hand strayed from her hip to her clit – wanting to feel her cum on his cock before he sought to relieve his own ache. Oversensitive, she keened at the precision of his touch. All too much and simultaneously not enough, her body seeked more. Her hips rocked, harder and faster, grazing against that perfect spot again and again. 

A moan of her name spilled from him and he licked it from his lips as if to taste her on his tongue. He could feel her already nearing a second orgasm. 

 A need to hold her close suddenly tore through him and before she could even register the loss of friction on her clit, his hand gripped the back of her neck; she gasped in surprise as he pulled her flush to him. 

His hand planted itself on her back while the other continued to hold steady on her hip. Lips a breath away, he didn’t close the gap. Instead let every moan and stutter of air puff on the tip of his nose. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Baby, want you to come.” He smacked her ass and she clenched as the sound mingled with the squeak of the bed. “Come on baby, make yourself cum on my cock. You can do it.” He whispered in her ear, nipping it. 

“Javi - oh,” She dragged her clit along the coarse hairs at the base of his cock. His fingers flexed, tightening the grip on her hip as his fingertips began to skate along her spine. The contrast of it. Rough and soft. Needy and intimate sent her into sensory overload and her body ignited. “I’m - I’m - Jav!” 

“That’s it. Fuck, that’s it baby.” His jaw clenched and eyes threatened to shut at the squeeze of her cunt. Sucking him in deeper and deeper as her orgasm rolled around and through her. 

“Javi,” she choked out and there it was. The molten hot feeling creeping up the base of his spine, down his thighs and coursing through his body. 

The feral part of him took over and his feet anchored flat on the bed. He held her against him as he fucked up into her. Grunting with each thrust as his hands roamed along her skin, anywhere he could touch. 

She called out his name, even more broken than the last. “Do you - God - Javi - you wanna pull out?” 

The words barely permeated in his fuzzy brain. So consumed by it all – warm sweaty skin sliding together, spit-swollen lips panting at the edge of his jaw, pussy soaked and stretched around his pulsing cock. Just letting him take and take from her. The idea of finishing anywhere else was an agonizing thought. 

His head shook against her forehead. “Please, baby. Can I?” 

The crash of her lips answered his broken question and the slide of her tongue was enough to send him reeling. He thrusted – once – twice before reaching his peak with a low and unashamed moan. His hips surged, cock buried deep inside her as he spilled into her. 

She brought him back down with soft and sweet kisses. Combing her fingers through the dark damp hair stuck flat on his forehead. 

He refused to let her go, holding her to him. Sealed by sweaty intimacy until he softened inside her and his cum leaked out of her spent pussy. He slowly blinked, “I love you,” he whispered and she kissed between his brows to the tip of his nose then his lips. 

“I love you too, Jav. But I really gotta pee.” 

He snorted then finally released her. Giving her bare ass a playful sway as she grabbed her nightgown off the floor then pranced to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up with a few tissues then pulled on his sleep shorts and fell back into bed. 

Joined moments later by her. 

In the dark, Javier searched out her body and she nuzzled into his chest. 

As his fingertips moved along the soft satin of her back, the lingering conversation began to nag at his mind. He tried to forget it, focus on the way her nails scratch along the nape of his neck and over his scalp but it didn’t work and he just needed to get it off his chest. 

“There’s something else I wanna talk to you about,” Javier said and she leaned back to find his eyes in the sparse moonlight. 

“What is it?” She lazily played with his hair.

Javier shut his eyes for a moment and let the feeling of her seep into him and calm him. “Guess a few of the higher ups approached Joe about an opening for the head of the department. Asked if I’d be interested.”

She twisted her lips from side to side. “I had a hunch this was coming.” 

“How?” 

“Well, a few days ago Joe called me out of the blue and asked if I thought you’d ever wanna go back.” 

“What’d you say?” 

She sighed. “That I wasn’t sure and he should ask you. He didn’t push it after that but he’s never asked before so I kinda guessed there had to be a reason.” 

Javier made an impassive sound, acknowledging it but not saying a word.

“I’m sorry for not tellin-” 

“Hey, don’t apologize. I get it.” It wasn’t the easiest topic to broach with him. She was always so careful about bringing it up, never wanting to push and letting him lead. 

“I just don’t want you to think I was hiding it from you,” she peered up, carefully considering her next words. “Cause if you’re interested, I want you to know I support you, a hundred percent.” 

His head cocked to the side. “Really?” She was always supportive but it still shocked him. He’d never fully opened about everything and it was clear he’d been burned. 

“Of course. Javi - I just want you to be happy.” 

“I am. Do you think I’m not?” He rushed out and instinctively pulled back, but she didn’t let him go far. He knew was being far more defensive than he should be. It was just – he was happy. The happiest he’d been in ages if not ever. 

Maybe that’s why it bothered him so much. That he still missed it despite the air of peace in his life. 

“It’s not that.” 

“Then what is it?” Long gone was the defensiveness, replaced by an honest need to understand. To see if she saw something he didn’t.  

“Javi, I know you’re happy - or at least I hope so.” She giggled to try and lighten the mood, which didn’t really work. She continued. “You’re great at your job. Everyone - your students and the faculty love you and clearly you know your shit. But Javi.” She shook her head. “You can’t look at me and say you don’t miss it. I can see it. In your eyes when Joe and Steve talk about it. I just think  if - if after all this time you’re still curious then maybe you should explore it.” 

She stopped for a moment. “I also realize I don’t know the full story and even if I did, only you know how that makes you feel. All I can do is support you and trust in whatever you decide.” 

Javier tucked her head under his chin and let her presence keep him grounded to the here and now as his thoughts wandered. Mulling it all over in his head. 

Just like always, she was right. He needed to explore it. There was no harm in seeing the opportunity out. If nothing else, maybe it’d give him some closure. And he didn’t know if there would ever be a better time than this. 

With the topic of kids unsettled, maybe it’d give him some clarity on his future. 

By the time he came to that conclusion, her lids were heavy with sleep. 

“Maybe I’ll just go for an interview or something,” he whispered and she responded in the only way she could – a soft inaudible hum to his chest. 

#javier peña x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #javier pena x you #javier peña #javier peña x ofc #javier peña fanfiction #javier pena x reader #narcos fanfic

[villians-r-hot]

Through Sickness

Word count: 1,271

This is just a fluff Arthur Harrow xReader fic / The reader gets sick and misses work so Arthur checks in on her

Warnings: none <3

You’ve been a part of Harrow’s following for a couple years now. During that time, you’ve risen in the ranks of the following and grown close to Arthur. Now you were almost acting as his right hand man; handling the organization of his different villages and groups around the world. It kept you very busy and you were always scared of falling behind on your work.

It was autumn, just turning into winter and you had stayed in the main village in the Alps for a few months now. Arthur usually spends his time here and only travels to his other groups for a week or two at a time. You were in your office trying to balance out the expenses for the villages when you noticed your throat was hurting. Thinking it was just changes in temperatures, you just made some tea and continued to work. 

By dinner time, your nose had started to run and you had begun to cough. It wasn’t a bad cough, just once or twice every few minutes. Still not thinking anything of it, you went to the village’s dinner and met with Arthur. You and the other village higher-ups ate together with Arthur to go over work for the next day. You were still coughing, which some people noticed, including Arthur. At one point in the meal he leaned toward you and asked in a low voice, “Are you feeling alright my dear?”

You just nodded your head, not being able to respond right then because of the coughing. He didn’t seem convinced and had a concerned look on his face. He handed you a glass of water and added, “If you need to rest, you should go to bed early tonight.” Since you still weren’t over the coughing fit, you left the table with your meal uneaten and walked to the apartment where you lived. After taking a shower and drinking more tea, the coughing had gotten worse and now you had a headache. 

Typically, headaches get bad for you, often turning into migraines if you don't take your medicine. You made sure to take your migraine medicine and some Tylenol for the coughing and sore throat. After getting everything ready to go to sleep, you turned out the lights and got in bed. You slept soundly until around 4am when your coughing woke you up. It was almost constant coughing, making your head throb. 

You stumbled into your kitchen where you grabbed all the medicine you needed and a big bottle of water. After taking more medicine, you got into bed again and tried to go back to sleep. You woke back up at 7am and felt awful. Around this time, you were supposed to get ready for breakfast but with the migraine that had formed last night (despite the medicine) and the coughing, you weren’t able to get out of bed.

You grabbed your phone and texted Arthur saying that you were taking the day off. He responded, “Are you ok? Is this about the coughing last night?” You told him that it was and to not worry, it should go away in a few hours. However, it kept you in bed until it was past lunchtime and you couldn’t hardly move to get water anymore. Around 2pm, you heard a knock on your apartment door. There was no way you could yell to ask who it was so you just laid there. Eventually, you hear the lock being turned and the door opening.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)? Where are you?” Arthur walked in the front door and began looking around the apartment. He sounded pretty concerned, but you couldn’t even raise your voice to let him know where you were because of the migraine. The tapping of his cane stopped in front of your bedroom. Seeing you under the covers he asked, “(Y/N), Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” you croaked out in between coughs. 

He stepped in the room holding your spare key to the apartment. He circled to the side of the bed you were facing and paused. “Oh, (Y/N) why didn’t you tell me it was this bad? I came to check on you because you weren’t answering my texts.” You laid there looking up at him, unable to say much of anything. He came closer to you and put his hand on your forehead, checking your temperature. He sucked in his breath and moved his hand to gently caress your cheek. He sighed, “Oh sweetheart.” Your eyes began to water because of the light coming in through your windows. 

“Light,” you whispered pointing at the windows. He turned around to look at the windows and understood immediately. He walked to your black-out curtains and closed them tightly, putting the room into darkness. He sat down on the edge of your bed, “I brought you food because you didn't eat anything last night and the cooks said you hadn’t ordered anything to your apartment all day.” He opened up the bag he had with him and brought out your favorite kind of soup with a spoon.

“Are you hungry (Y/N)?” he asked. You nodded slowly, just now realizing you hadn’t eaten for almost 24 hours. “Here, I’ll help you,” he said. He leaned over you and gently held you under your arms and pulled you up into a sitting position. You groaned slightly as your head moved into a different position. “It’s alright (Y/N), the pain will only last a couple minutes,” he soothed while getting extra pillows to make you comfortable. You held up a tissue and coughed again weakly.

“I’m so sorry you feel this bad (Y/N), if I could make it better I would.” He opened up the tupperware with soup and brought out the spoon. “Are you sure you're up for this?” he asked. You nodded looking him in his eyes. He dipped the spoon in the soup and brought it to your mouth. You ate the soup, relishing the warmth and comfort that was brought to your throat. After you finished, he did the same thing with your water. He also had you take more medicine with that water. 

“Now (Y/N), I’m going to go get more food but you should try and get some rest. After I get back, I won’t leave your side until you're better.” Feeling a bit better already from the soup, you tried to protest thinking you’d be a nuisance, but he wouldn’t hear it. “Nuh uh uh, I care about you deeply and couldn’t stand to leave you when you feel like this.” And he didn’t. Arthur stayed in your apartment for the next two days while you recovered, dutifully helping you eat, drink, and take your medication. He also helped you get to and from the bathroom, even washing and drying your hair one night. Arthur also read to you to help you sleep and told you stories from his past. 

After two days of rest, you were able to return to work and return to community meals. But you had to admit, you were already starting to miss the time together with Arthur. He had made you feel safe and cared for. Three days later, you were sitting at your desk in your office when the door opened. You looked up and saw Arthur carrying two tupperwares with food. He was smiling slightly when he said, “I brought lunch. I thought we could eat together…alone. I’ve missed that over the past few days.”

You simply smiled as you walked around your desk to sit with him in your office.

#arthur harrow #arthur harrow x reader #y/n #ethan hawke #moon knight #fluff

[hbyrde36]

Caught in the Undertow

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 AO3

Chapter 5: All i've got is your hand

*EDDIE*

Eddie fights hard to keep his eyes open but it’s a losing battle with how little sleep he got last night. He’s just not ready for the day to end yet. Against all odds he’s having a really good time hanging out with Steve, once they got through the worst of the heavy talk that is. Steve is funny and much more thoughtful than Eddie would have ever guessed. They talk and tease and debate and it’s all so – easy, and fun. It shouldn’t be, they are such different people but that seems to make it all the more enjoyable.

Even earlier in the day, when he helped take care of Steve through the beginnings of his migraine, Eddie had been happy to do it. Seeing this boy, someone who he now knew first hand to be quite the warrior, in such a vulnerable position, well, It had made something in his stomach flip. Knowing that Steve trusted him enough to not only witness it, but to help him. He got the feeling Steve didn’t let others take care of him much. He wonders, idly, if that has anything to do with the fact that Harrington’s parents don’t seem to live here anymore.

All night Eddie had been noticing Steve stealing glances at him with this expression like…like he was afraid Eddie might disappear at any moment. That’s fair, he supposes, although he still didn’t understand why it mattered to Steve. 

After letting out a loud yawn Eddie stands up, stretching a bit as he says, “I hate to bust up our party but I’m falling asleep sitting up. I’m gonna go out back for a smoke and then head to bed.” 

Steve blinks up at him, eyes concerned.

Oh “Just a cigarette, Harrington. Calm yourself”

“I didn’t even say anything!” Steve says, indignant.

Eddie chuckles. “You didn’t have to. You’ve got that disappointed parent look down.”

Steve rolls his eyes but there is a fond smile playing on his lips.

“You wanna come with?” Eddie finally asks.

“Yea, okay” Steve says. The words are casual but Steve is so happy at the invitation that it kills off any annoyance Eddie might have felt at his hovering. 

They stand side by side, leaning up against the house. After watching Eddie light up, Steve asks if he can bum a cigarette.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Eddie says, offering him the pack. 

“I don’t much anymore. I used to do it a lot when I'd drink but Robin hates it. I still sneak one every once in a while when she’s not around though, it’s relaxing.”

For a few minutes, neither of them speaks. It's a comfortable enough silence, but Eddie feels compelled to fill it anyway.

“Must be nice out here in the summer. I bet the kids bug you to use the pool all the time.” He ventures, gesturing out into the dark.

Steve lets out a short laugh but it's drenched in sadness. “I’m sure they would but, uh, I haven’t opened it since ‘83”

Even without the massive clue that is the year Will Byers went missing, Eddie would know from Steve’s tone alone that he‘d stuck his foot in something sensitive.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t realize… There's probably so much you don’t know. I guess I figured Henderson would have filled you in on everything upside-down related.”

“Only the cliff notes version, there wasn’t time for much else when we were in the thick of it, and it’s not like I’ve given him much chance since.”

Steve nods his understanding. “I don’t know if you would remember her or not, but a day or two after Will went missing so did a girl named Barbara Holland. Except, she wasn’t missing. She was Nancy’s best friend and we had just started dating the first time. The two of them came over here and, god, I was such a douchebag back then. Nancy and I went upstairs.  We thought Barb was going home but… She didn’t leave. She was hanging out back here by the pool waiting for Nancy. I didn’t find out until later what had happened, but a Demogorgon got her. Pulled her through a gate in the pool. She died on the other side.”

“Shit Steve. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean it’s not OK, of course, but I think I’ve made peace with it as best I can. Though, sometimes I still feel like I failed her and Nancy that day.”

“You were just a kid and you couldn’t have known what was coming for her.”

“I know, but still. Anyway, at least I can move forward and grow and try to be better because of it.”

 “How can…I mean…Why do you stay here?”

“Didn’t have much choice really. My parents moved to one of their other houses full time a few years ago. I could have gone with them but I couldn’t  leave Nancy and the kids once this shit started. I would rent someplace, just to get out of this damn house, but I don’t make enough on my own, especially now that I’m not working. Robin and I have talked about getting a place together after she graduates though, so it won’t be forever.”

Back inside, Eddie follows Steve up the stairs. He’s so tired, he knows he’ll be asleep the second his head hits the pillow. When they part in the hallway Steve is giving him that look again. He’s too tired to properly reassure him but manages a weak “See you in the morning, Harrington” before closing his door.

The last few notes of the most metal concert ever are still echoing out in the distance when Eddie and Dustin re-enter the trailer, slamming the door closed mere seconds before the bats start dive-bombing. It doesn’t take long for the creatures to find the structure's weakness and in just a few short minutes the interior of their make-shift bunker is filled to the brim with leathery wings and gnashing teeth. Eddie does everything he can to shield Dustin, wants to send him back up the rope and into the safety of the right-side-up. Before they can reach it, one of the bastards gets its tail wrapped around the younger boy's neck. Eddie tries to pry the thing off but he’s not strong enough and he’s forced to watch on in horror as the life drains out of Dustin’s eyes. He can’t stop screaming.

Eddie wakes with a gasp and he’s shaking. No, wait, someone is shaking him. 

“Eddie?...Eddie?...Can you hear me?” Steve pleads.

His eyes snap open and immediately lock on to Steve’s. He’s breathing hard, they both are. For a moment Eddie can’t remember where he is or why, is only concerned about one thing. 

“Steve? Dustin!  Where is he? Is he okay? oh god it’s all my fault…”

Steve, who is still hovering over top of him, gently pushes the hair back from Eddie’s forehead as he shushes him. “Dustin is fine, he’s alive. It was just a nightmare. You’re okay, I’ve got you. Everyone is okay.” 

He keeps uttering a steady stream of reassurances until Eddie’s breathing levels out and he relaxes back into his pillow. With the initial panic having eased, Steve starts to pull away, likely feeling awkward at their close proximity. Before he can stop himself, Eddie reaches out, clutching on to Steve’s wrist. He tenses briefly at the touch but makes no move to pull himself out of Eddie’s grip.

“Could you maybe…stay? Just for a bit…please?” Eddie asks. He feels like a child but can’t bring himself to be embarrassed about it. He can’t imagine being alone right now.  

Steve smiles, nods, and Eddie lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Scoot over” Steve murmurs. Eddie does.

The guest bed is only a double so, while there is room for the both of them to lay down, it is impossible to do so without touching. 

Eddie is acutely aware of the fact that he had come out to Steve just a handful of hours ago. He imagines your average straight guy would be uncomfortable with their current circumstances. If Steve is bothered by the fact that they are pressed up against each other like this, then he is doing a bang up job of hiding it. Eddie tries not to think too hard about it, just accepts the comfort being offered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve asks, after a while.

“Not really. It was… awful.”

“I know”

Steve really did know, Eddie realized. Was this the kind of shit he saw in his dreams night after night?

“How do you deal with it?” 

Steve winces and Eddie realizes he basically  just admitted to having overheard Steve's own bad dreams.

“I used to drink before bed, which worked like a charm but it wasn’t sustainable or healthy. I wish I had better advice to offer but there's nothing you can really do but just go through it. Just try and go back to sleep when you can and on the nights when you can’t, you find ways to distract yourself.”

“I guess that’s why I didn’t have any until now. Nightmares I mean. I drank myself stupid more nights than not back at the trailer, and smoked weed the rest of the time.”  

“Wait. Eddie, that was the first?…i’m so sorry” Steve’s hand finds his own beneath the covers and he laces their fingers together, giving them a tight squeeze. They’re still holding hands when Eddie finally falls back to sleep. 

-

It happens again, every night for a week straight. Steve is always already there when Eddie wakes up, petting his hair and promising that whatever he saw was just a dream. Steve never leaves. Once Eddie has calmed down he’ll move over and without a word Steve will join him in the bed, where they will inevitably fall asleep together, holding hands. Eddie thinks maybe they should just start out the night together and cut out the middle step but he’s not going to be the one to suggest it. 

-

A routine starts to develop within their little bubble. Every morning while Steve makes food, Eddie calls Uncle Wayne to check in and catch up before the older man goes to bed for the day. They don’t talk about what happened or why Eddie is staying with Steve. Wayne is too afraid to push and Eddie doesn’t think there’s anything he could say to make it up to his uncle. So they both pretend that things are normal. 

Breakfast is eaten together before splitting off to their separate tasks. Eddie will usually take a book outside so he can smoke. Steve likes to use the morning hours for cleaning and laundry, he won’t accept help so Eddie doesn’t bother offering. 

They come back together briefly for lunch, which Eddie has taken to making. He realized early on that if he didn’t do this, Steve would skip the meal altogether, not eating again until dinner. Steve tries to protest but Eddie insists that he was making something for himself anyway and it was nothing to make extra for him. 

In the afternoons Eddie hides away in his room. He’s been writing a lot. He doesn’t have his guitar here, which is fine because honestly he’s not sure how it’ll feel to play again, but the lyrics just keep pouring out of him. He’s also got quite the stack of notes going for future campaigns. 

After dinner is when they really hang out. Eddie loves this time of day. Steve will let him go on and on, talking animatedly about whatever new concept he’s come up with. Not the lyrics of course, that’s too personal but the D&D is fair game. Steve seems genuinely interested, even when it’s painfully clear that he has no idea what the hell Eddie is talking about. They take turns choosing movies to watch. although Steve cheated once and used his pick to put on a baseball game. Eddie complained loudly but it was mostly for show. He might hate sports but apparently he likes watching Steve enjoy them.

-

He knew the bubble had to pop eventually, so Eddie was ready for it when Steve came to him one day saying he needed to make a grocery run. 

“Can I come?”

Steve was clearly surprised but recovered quickly “Sure, of course. let me just grab my keys and we can go”

He pushed the cart while Steve shopped. It had been weeks since Eddie had been out in public and it was kind of nice but it also left him feeling exposed. It was impossible not to notice the stares and whispers being thrown in Eddie's direction from the other customers, but he was determined not to let it bother him. He concentrated on breathing evenly and remembering what Steve had said to him in the car. ‘No matter what anyone says, you have every right to be here, ok? You are allowed to be out in the world. You did nothing wrong, you are innocent’

It’s all fine enough until they round a corner and come face to face with a boy wearing a familiar green and white letterman jacket. It was Andy, one of the guys who’d played a major part in Jason Carver’s pitchfork wielding mob. 

Andy blanched at the sight of them. “Who let you out of the house, freak? You should be locked up and you know it! I don’t care what the police said, you’re a fucking murderer!”

Steve stepped in front of Eddie defensively, gearing up for a fight. “Back off man, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Andy puffed up, trying and failing to loom over Steve. “Jeez Harrington, I knew you’d changed but you’re hanging out with people like him now?”

Steve growled. He fucking growled, there’s no other word for it and Eddie knows he has to stop this before it escalates. He clears his throat loudly, catching both boys' attention. “It's fine Steve. Forget him, it doesn’t matter what he says, right? He’s an asshole, lets just go”

It’s enough to snap Steve out of it, though he remains between the two of them until they are out of the other boy’s eyesight. 

Steve is still a little on edge when they get back to the car. He’s not sure if it’s because of the situation in general or if Steve is worried that it’s going to set him off. Eddie feels weirdly calm about the whole thing. It definitely sucks to have people look at you like that but having Steve next to him and on his side took a lot of the sting out of it. 

Steve keeps a close eye on him as they unpack the food and suddenly it’s all so ridiculous that Eddie starts to laugh. “Dude, your face! I'm okay. Really I am. I'm not gonna go off the deep end or whatever you're worried about, ok? Screw those assholes.”

Steve smiles in return, posture relaxing bit by bit. “You’re right, I'm sorry for worrying. You did so great today staying calm and all, better than I did.”

“Yeah I noticed.”

A light blush blossoms across Steve’s cheeks. 

Eddie stares at him for a minute, considering, before the question comes tumbling out.

“I have to ask, and I swear I'm not being a dick this time, I just really don’t understand. Why do all of this for me, why do you care so much?

Steve’s face transforms at the question. Eddie doesn’t understand at first, people don’t look at him like that. It’s the same look he saw on Nancy’s face, the one that prompted him to give Steve that stupid speech in the woods. It’s the way Lucas used to watch Max, longing.

“Eddie…”

Oh, oh shit.

Eddie has about 2 seconds to process what he’s seeing on the other boy's face before Steve steps into him, bringing their lips together in a soft, tentative kiss.

Part 6

#eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steddie fanfic #steve x eddie #steve harrington/eddie munson #ao3 #fanfic #ao3 link #alternating pov #eddie munson pov #steve harrington pov #CITU

[lotusthewriter]

Ultraviolet (baby, light my way)

Fandom: The Owl House

Rating: G

Relationships: Romantic Luz/Hunter

Characters: Luz Noceda, Hunter

Summary: “Will you promise not to laugh?”

Word count: 1.167

AO3 / Fanfiction

A/N: Yeah, this is based on the season 3 poster. At first I admit I hated Hunter’s new haircut, but it eventually grew on me because 1) the fanarts made it look good and 2) it looks a lot like Luz’s debut haircut, so I had Lunter feelings.

Hate comments will be deleted and blocked.

--

Ugh, her head hurts.

Ever since her abrupt return to her home, Luz hasn’t been getting the best sleep. She’ll go to the bathroom and find dark bags under her brown eyes, something she never thought she would struggle with. Though it makes sense since Luz has been trying everything to find a way back to the Boiling Isles nonstop. It’s been months by now.

Today is a different day. Her mother and her friends united to help Luz sleep better, and so they let her stay home for the day while they handle the groceries and other duties. Luz took quite a while to fall asleep, so she wakes up late in the morning – roughly 11 AM –, with a headache bothering her rest. Luz would have to take a painkiller, and that’s what takes her outside of the room, the light albeit too much for her senses. Eventually, she makes her way to the bathroom door, trying to open it… only it’s locked?

She also hears a little gasp coming from inside.

“Hello? Who’s there?” Luz wonders. Wasn’t she supposed to be alone for the day?

“Um… j-just a second!”

“… Hunter?”

She hears quite a few noises, like something has fallen.

“Is everything okay?” Luz asks.

“Y-Yeah, just give me a minute!”

Huh, weird. She wants to go inside and see what’s happening, but she doesn’t want to knock the door down to scare the boy. The shuffling eventually comes to an end, but Hunter makes… a request:

“Will you promise not to laugh?”

Luz raises an eyebrow, but she gives in.

“I promise.” Why does he sound so nervous?

There’s a beat, then the door opens slowly. Luz doesn’t know what she’s expecting…

… especially not a haircut.

“It’s bad, isn’t it,” Hunter blushes, his hands hiding his short blond hair.

“N- No, it’s not bad. I just… wasn’t expecting that?”

Hunter seems guilty and ashamed, and so small and vulnerable that Luz almost wants to wrap him in a blanket and give him hot chocolate.

“I… I couldn’t stand looking at the mirror and… seeing him,” he explains.

At that, Luz isn’t surprised. They were together when Hunter saw the statue of the Wittebane brothers, the older one his spitting image. Hunter was found staring at the man made of stone with a horrified look on his face. He’s been… more tense and distant since. Everyone tried their best to comfort him, but none of them knew the truth behind him, his origins, his nature. Only Luz knew.

Clearly, she could never blame him for feeling that way.

“It looks good,” Luz reassures him. Only she spends a little while analyzing it and comes to a conclusion. “Wait… did you cut it like my hair?”

Hunter’s cheeks redden even more than what it’s possible.

“Oh my god,” Luz smirks.

He hides his face. “You said you wouldn’t laugh!”

“I’m not laughing.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Okay, maybe,” she giggles. “It’s cute, though.”

Hunter pouts at her, and Luz almost wants to squish his face. You’re cute, she wants to say.

The migraine reminds her why she’s here in the first place, so she goes inside and takes the painkillers from the cabinet, while there are hair strands everywhere in the sink and the floor.

“Are you okay?” Hunter wonders.

“I just have a little headache,” Luz tells him, “I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

“Hm.”

He’s probably the best person there is to know about sleep deprivation.

“I thought you were going to join the others?” Luz questions him.

“Yeah, well…” Hunter is blushing again. “I thought I could make you some company.”

Luz feels something fuzzy and warm in her heart, that she hasn’t felt in a while.

“… you really do like me,” she jokes to deflect it. “How embarrassing.”

Hunter glares at her, but then he’s looking serious.

“Well, what if I do like you?” He asks. “What if you make me feel okay, and I want to help you feel okay, too?”

Luz is taken aback, not expecting the questions, the certainty in his words. She is probably the one blushing right now, unsure how to react. Hunter has been more vulnerable in general, yes, but they haven’t been alone together, open, honest in quite some time.

Hunter is… approaching her, slowly. They’re close enough to see the little details of their faces, their eyebags, the depth of their eyes, their very souls. Human. Grimwalker. Magicless.

“Would that be so bad, me liking you?” Hunter wonders.

Luz gapes, soon shaking her head.

“No.”

She doesn’t know what he’s going to do next, but she’s not scared. She doesn’t reject his closeness.

Suddenly… he’s wrapping his arms around her. He’s the one initiating the contact. Luz has never hugged him, mainly because she thought she should respect his space. After all, he seems to be on better terms with Gus and Willow, who openly hug Hunter and show him affection.

Luz really likes hugs, she is like a sponge absorbing her friends’ energy, their love. She realizes she needs it the most right now, with this one simple hug. She sinks her head in his shoulder, her migraine silenced for the moment.

Hunter is going to keep holding her forever, and as much as she wants him to, she knows she can’t have everything.

Luz pulls away, patting him on the back.

“… we should probably clean the bathroom before my mom gets back.”

“I’ll clean it.”

“I can help.”

“No, you’re sick. You need rest.”

Luz scoffs, “I’m not sick—”

“You have a headache, therefore, sick.”

“That’s a pretty simplistic conception of sick.”

“Luz, I know what I’m talking about. If you don’t get rest, it’s going to get worse.”

She figures she must end the stubborn competition, so the girl complies.

“Alright, fine. But I’m not staying in bed,” Luz argues.

“Okay, then you stay at the couch.”

“Fine.”

Hunter goes to her room to get something, and it turns out it’s her blanket and her pillow. Once they head downstairs, Luz is pretty much tucked in. The curtains are protecting her from the bright sun outside.

“Will you be quick?” Luz asks, then feeling guilty at how needy she probably sounds.

Hunter doesn’t mind. If anything, he smiles at her.

“Yeah, sure.” He hands her one of her stuffed animals, a little rabbit. “Until then, here’s a little friend to keep you safe.”

“Gee, thanks.”

They’re gazing at one another for quite some time, Luz getting used to his new haircut. He looks more like himself now.

“Be right back,” Hunter says, and Luz really thinks that’s it, but then…

He plants a kiss on her forehead.

Apparently, improvised. Because Hunter immediately freezes and he’s basically a tomato again.

“Um… yeah, I’ll…” the magenta-eyed boy covers his face and walks away a little fast, but he doesn’t run off.

Luz still feels the warmth left by his lips.

She buries her face in her pillow and screams.

In the good way.

#the owl house #luz noceda #toh hunter #lunter #huntceda #goldenlight #toh spoilers #fanfiction #long post

[ethereousdelirious]

Sicktember 2023 Day 2

Prompt: Alt. 1: "I could really use a hug right about now"

Fandom: Pokémon

Characters: Lucian, Cynthia

Wordcount: 1,269

Notes: my babies 🥺

(Brief emeto mention, non-graphic)

Postdrome.

3:00 am, or thereabouts.

The lights on the oven wavered in front of Cynthia's tired eyes and she couldn't quite make out the numbers. Her neck ached from the persistent strange angle it had held, popped up against the back of the couch.

She'd wanted to stay awake.

She'd wanted to be there in case Lucian needed her.

Because, as it turned out, he needed her much more than he let on. Or needed someone, but he'd chosen her and she'd chosen him, and sometimes that meant breaking her neck on the couch, stirring at every creak and hum of the four walls surrounding them.

Waiting.

It was always frightening watching a migraine overtake Lucian. He'd seem fine and then Espeon would tug on his sleeve and they'd know, they'd both know that he'd been faking it or lying to himself. Espeon was the white flag, the surrender to another day lost.

He'd gone into this one unmedicated. Lost the ability to speak, to walk, to use his arms. Cynthia had coaxed painkillers and juice into him for as long as he'd allow, holding the glass to his mouth and the straw steady. And she'd been silent, perfectly silent so she wouldn't cause him any more pain. It was so awful to see him like that, pale and shaky, with his face pinched in agony.

But of course, there was more to come.

Then he'd been up half the night getting sick and she'd tied his hair back and held him until he fell asleep again. The bathroom floor was a war zone of melted ice packs and half-empty glasses, blankets and pillows and one of Espeon's soft toys.

Espeon rarely went back into his Pokéball once he had come out to warn Lucian of an impending migraine. He sat demurely, never in the way, and watched Cynthia attend to his Trainer with gleaming eyes.

Espeon, Lucian had explained once, used to be his sole companion during these episodes. He was still very fussy, very protective, always attuned to Lucian's well-being. He liked to rest his tail on Lucian's wrist to feel his pulse and would often come to nuzzle him when the time came to relocate to the bathroom for the night.

One of the numbers on the oven clock ticked over.

Shuffling footsteps sounded from the hall.

Yes, something had woken her.

"Lucian?" Cynthia whispered sitting up despite the ache in her neck. "Baby?"

He emerged from the hall. His face appeared nearly luminescent in the low light, pale as a ghost. "Hi," he said, soft and hoarse. He'd told her once that the postdrome was his least favorite part, that he could bear days and days of agony and nausea if only he wouldn't cry afterward.

The tears gleaming on his cheeks didn't suit him, nor did the slouch in his shoulders. He hovered there where the hallway met the living room looking for all the world like he wanted to disappear into the oversized hoodie he wore. It was part of a set he and Cynthia had bought, the product of desperation on one windy day in Hoenn. Lucian's was red, emblazoned with a yellow arrow and the words 'I'm her Volbeat' in nauseating cursive. Cynthia was blue and read 'I'm his Illumise' with an arrow pointing the opposite way. Despite their mutual pact to burn them when they returned to Sinnoh, the hoodies' fleecy lining proved too alluring to destroy. Now they lived in a bottom drawer, only called upon in times of distress.

The blistering red did not do wonders for Lucian's complexion, which was already brutally pale. He blinked languidly and rubbed his eyes, yawning.

"Baby," Cynthia repeated in case he was still having trouble processing sounds, "do you need something?"

Lucian nodded and shuffled a few steps farther into the living room. Cynthia half-rose, but he seemed steady enough on his feet, so she let him go at his own pace. He looked at her through tear-speckled lashes, his hands tucked away inside the hoodie pocket. "Could I… Could I have a hug?"

She could have melted right there. He looked so sweet, so sad, like he was truly afraid she might say no. She hated seeing him so small, so timid.

"Oh, Lucian, come here." Cynthia adjusted on the couch, held her arms out for him. Lucian sat beside her and tucked himself up against her chest, his head resting just below her collarbone. She wrapped her arms around him and stroked his hair. "You know you never have to ask," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his head.

"I like it," he started, and had to pause to find his words. It was a troubling cadence, though one Cynthia was familiar with. Lucian was always far too honest on the heels of a migraine, but it was impossible to stop him from speaking his truths. He just had to find the words. "I love the way you say 'come here,'" he mumbled.

"You do?"

"Mm-hm." He nodded and his hair spread out across her shirt, catching on the material. "You're so—" He shuddered all at once and his breath came in quiet, gasping sobs. "S-sorry," he breathed, "I hate… I hate getting like this."

"I know, baby." Cynthia held him closer, kept stroking his hair. "Do you want to try eating something? You might feel a little better."

"Not right now." This was more definitive, stronger. More Lucian.

Cynthia smiled down at him and kissed his head again. "Whatever you want."

He took in a deep breath and let it out, unsteady. Still with the ghosts of sobs rocking him, with the echoes of pain shaking along his limbs. "You," he said finally. "Only ever you."

She let her hands rest on his shoulder and held him close, relaxing against the back of the couch. The worst was over now, or would be if she could get him to eat. It wasn't like Lucian to delay self-care, even in favor of comfort. His relentless practicality was one of the things that fascinated Cynthia the most, the subtle way he moved. Was something else wrong? Not likely, since Espeon hadn't come back out.

No, it was more likely the fact that it was past 3:00, that the air was just chilly enough to make cuddling like this dangerously pleasant. That he was exhausted and not feeling well and that everyone's pragmatism, even Lucian's had a limit.

Then so, too, could Cynthia's. There was something transient in the still air, veils growing thinner in the safety of darkness.

Cynthia pressed another kiss to the top of Lucian's head and stayed still, breathing in the sweet jasmine scent of him. "I love you," she whispered.

"Cyn?" Lucian shifted, not enough to dislodge her.

"I love you," she repeated.

She'd never said it out loud before, hadn't been sure until that moment that it was even true. Whatever had grown between them, she knew its name now. She loved Lucian when he battled. When he smirked at her, his eyes glinting in the gap between his glasses and his cheek. When he cocked his head and adjusted his collar with his long fingers. Even when he was sick and shivering on the bathroom floor, when he cried into her shirt and held her like she was the only person in the universe. She loved him. Every part of him.

"I love you, too, Cynthia," Lucian murmured. He sighed, his shoulders rocking. "But I think you knew that already."

She had.

But it was different hearing him say it out loud.

#sicktember 2023 #ethereous writes

[bigmeandragonlady]

Aelyn and combat:

Magic

#1- Astral- Has a natural inclination towards healing. Finds the elements easy to work with, especially water- it helps with blood! The more i play around with her the more i lean into elemental magic, esp weather magic.

#2- Arcane- Can get a little esoteric and mathematical for her but is generally adept- she's making strides with conjuring and is getting decent at shifting. However, she likes to 'feel it out' which you can't really do with stuff like summoning so there's some give and take.

#3- Psionic- It's pretty bad, she's made an effort to get better but it's harder for her to grasp. The first time she ever tried scrying it gave her a three day (she thinks) migraine. Arcane and Astral magic seem a lot more tangible, whereas Psionic magic is not. She has thrown herself into training after Wallmire, it's slow going and frustrating.

Weapons

Bow: Her very first weapon! She's from a fairly rural fishing village and needed to learn with something and, to her parents, this seemed like a good choice. Her first bow (child-sized) obviously doesn't exist anymore. She is in no way an expert with a bow but knows how to take care of, make new arrows, good at mounted archery, and has good aim.

Dagger: Seemed like the best choice b/c of her background- using a filleting knife from a young age taught her fine control and now she's pretty handy with a knife in combat and day to day. Easiest to conceal as well- she has one on her at all times, three when she's in uniform.

Sword: Longer reach then she's used to- she can use one but it's a little clumsy compared to the two above. Attracts a lot more attention to then a shorter blade.

Guns: Well she can use one. Learned when she spent time in Conte's port (bullets are better vs the sea wind then arrows) Knows gun safety and could maintain one if necessary, but would prefer not to. It's easier to her to maintain and acquire ammo for a bow then a gun when out in the wilderness, so i don't ever see her switching. Best with a hand pistol could probably use something bigger but, again, would prefer not to. Also stealth isn't really a thing if you're using a gun.

Sparing:

Generally does not 'win':

Blade: couldn't get him even when he was distracted so... no. Would probably have to resort to very dirty tactics to get the upper hand but I could see her being able to worm out of his grip.

Briony: She not only has super strength but knows how to fight- well. I don't see Aelyn winning. Magically, I would move this into maybe. there's a lot of lighting flying around probably but Aelyn could attack from a distance + if Briony got her hands on her, Aelyn could light herself on fire so...

Chase: He's more slippery then she is and dexterity and stamina are primarily what she's got going for her in combat. I could see her winning as she trains more. However, their 'sparring' sessions are really an excuse to practically grope each other in public- they both fight dirty- and well, Blade doesn't want them giving recruits the wrong idea.

Tallys: I think most would have a hard time beating someone who's 200+ years old and can't be surprised. While they're both distance fighters, I still think Tallys would come out on top most of the time.

Maybe:

Halek: I lean towards no, b/c he's had martial training since he was a boy, I also see him willing to play dirty like she does. But I don't think he'd put 100% into it, leading to him ending up on his back. I have imagined him grabbing her by the scruff of her clothes like a cat to keep her at arms length and she kicks him right in the balls. so. wherever that lies.

Aya: I think if Aelyn could stay out of Aya's hands she could win, another she could worm away from. Magically, I'm not sure. Aya is highly specialized, while Aelyn is not.

Trouble: I think this falls into the same category as Aya: if she could keep out of Trouble grip, she could win.

Lavinet: My initial thought was that Aelyn could win b/c Lav is an aristocrat but she has had military training. Bit of a toss up but I think Aelyn would win more often then not b/c she fights dirty. (I also think Lavinet would catch on and also start playing a little dirty and the playing field would even out a little)

Yes:

Red: I think she'd probably body him 9/10 times. Magically, I think they would be pretty evenly matched she has sheer power and he has technical skill.

Shery: I swear I'm putting she and Riel here for a reason! She could wipe the floor with Shery but would not ever want to. Would be happy to help her learn to fight and give her tips.

Riel: Would body him with no hesitation.

#shoh #shepherds of haven #aelyn wildegarde #shoh posting #riel getting dirty makes her happy #pre-shepherds she hasn't really fought 'for fun' so kicking biting scratching hair pulling dirt in the eyes below the belt are all go tos

[arklay]

diana + total control <3

36. total control + diana.

words: 6.6k warnings: narcissistic behaviour, past cheating, somewhat graphic violent thoughts, insecurity, body image, chronic illness, mention of omnicide, indoctrination, flogging (for the quote at the end, not the actual fic) [read on ao3]

All he wanted was to go to bed, to finally do his routine properly for the first time in a good while then get some rest. He didn’t even have to sleep – though a few hours would be nice, even if he didn’t need as much as humans anymore – he just needed to get away from all the incessant nagging and have some time to himself.

Wesker had been working non-stop as of late, spending almost all of his time in the lab he usually shared with Diana, or in his office, and he had finally run out of steam. The last few days seemed to exhaust him, and that old friend was almost unrecognisable after so many years of vigour. But he couldn’t stay another night in his office, reminders of all the things he wished to perfect only enticing him to give up rest entirely, even if that meant he had to sit through reading another one of these imbecile’s reports.

Navigating through the facility with ease, even with fatigue threatening to dull his senses, he broke his stride when the shrill clicking of heels sounded in the next corridor. It seemed to reach behind Wesker’s eyes and make his brain bash against his skull, much like the way it used to with his migraines. But it wasn’t so much the noise as it was the cause of them, and he almost turned around to head back to his office, not wanting to deal with that annoyance at the moment.

That is, until he realised she was heading away from his destination, footsteps growing distant with each passing second, and the relief he felt from that was absurd. He rounded the corner and reached the door she had been in front of, swiping his keycard and entering the code to his room as if on autopilot; the slow hiss as it slid open was almost comforting, the promise of peace and quiet so close within reach.

But once he caught sight of Diana already in bed with her back to the door, his stomach twisted into a knot. He hadn’t seen her since she had made those unfounded claims against him the day prior, meaning he’d fumbled to give himself the last two doses of his medication, but the thought of looking for her hadn’t even crossed his mind, far too busy with more important matters than the ridiculous train of thought she had surmised.

He would have thought she was already asleep considering the way she was lying perfectly still with the covers up to her shoulders, the lights out and the scent of her moisturiser lingering in the air, but the moment he began taking off his coat, he noticed how her heart rate increased.

Then she took a deep breath.

“I think we need some time apart.”

Wesker paused in the middle of hanging up his coat when her quiet words reached him, wrapping themselves around every one of his muscles and pulling them taut. He could only look down at his hand balled into a fist around material as he slowly nodded in response, even though she couldn’t see it. He almost thought he could hear the blood rushing through his arteries and up to his head, making him feel like he was burning from the inside out.

The simple statement echoed in his mind, the words overlapping and varying in volume, taunting him at every turn alongside his own thoughts. Mocking him.

…time apart. She’s leaving. She won’t come back. Not coming back. Like Jelena. We need some time apart. It’s always been like this, me against them. We need some time apart.

But Diana didn’t stop there.

“I can’t be here at the moment. I’m going to stay with Alex for a while.” The slight waver in her voice was betraying the composure he knew she was desperately trying to keep, and he shouldn’t have felt guilty for it. He had nothing to feel guilty for.

“How long?” The words felt heavy leaving his throat, and Wesker swallowed in a futile attempt to try and fight off the lump that had taken up residence there.

The small sniffle he heard made him glance back over at Diana; she shifted beneath the covers, one of her hands coming up to her face, and he could only assume that she was rubbing her nose. Whatever anger he may have felt towards her for causing this mess, for hurting him with her accusations, it seemed to be fighting a losing battle against his love for her. Why a small sound such as that could tug at his heart, he would never understand. No one else could elicit such a reaction from him.

“I don’t know.” It was barely audible, only a whisper, and yet he heard it clear as day, as though she had spoken the words directly into his ear.

Diana pulled the covers closer around herself then stilled once more, only listening to the way his heart was pounding in his chest. Or was that hers? She couldn’t tell, but it made her feel sick to her stomach. It was foolish of her to think that he’d understand her decision, but she had hoped he’d calmed down enough from yesterday to at least see it from her perspective.

Perhaps he had simply left her alone with her thoughts for too long.

His footsteps as he made his way further into their room seemed deafening in her ears, and she wasn’t prepared for the panic that set in behind her sternum when she heard him round the bed. She had no reason to panic around him; she never had before, but the moment she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, she took another long inhale through her nose.

Wesker slowly crouched down in front of her, one hand reaching up to pull his sunglasses off while the other settled on the bed by her hip, but Diana only rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling, avoiding him as best she could. The heavy sigh he let out at that had her eyes stinging and she wanted to hate him for it. She wished she could hate him.

Her name barely left his lips before Diana muttered, “I can’t look at you right now.”

“I apologise for raising my voice.”

It sounded so rehearsed. So hollow. Or maybe she was too upset to even notice how his tone had changed. But she knew for a fact that he wasn’t sorry for how he’d spoken to her. She knew. If they had a chance to redo that argument, it would all play out the exact same way as it had. She was sure of it.

Diana turned her head and looked him in the eyes. Those gorgeous scarlet eyes. “Raising your voice?” Her own mutated ones darted between his, searching for something, anything. “You roared at me, Albert. That wasn’t…” She averted her gaze when her voice cracked, and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “That was more than yelling. I have never heard such anger in your voice directed at me.”

“You have never questioned my loyalty to you before,” Wesker stated matter-of-factly, and her gaze landed on his face once more. Was he seriously trying to justify it?

She scoffed and shook her head. “So that makes it okay for you to speak to me that way?”

He tilted his head to the side and simply stared at her, one of his brows raised and the corner of his lips pulled upward ever so slightly. She could have punched him for that. This wasn’t like the times where they would laugh off what they both considered inane bickering; he had hurt her. And he hadn’t even bothered to check on her afterwards. Diana knew it was wrong to be as upset as she was when she had caused him to react in such a way, and he had every right to be furious with her for her line of questioning, but she still couldn’t believe the manner in which he had spoken to her.

Turning her head away from him again, she focused on the ceiling once more, preferring the simplicity of it as opposed to whatever look was strewn about his face. Why did he have to come to bed tonight?

The stinging in her eyes and how constricted her throat felt only served to make her feel more pathetic. She wasn’t going to cry over this. That was the last thing she wished to do.

Diana’s hands hesitantly came up to gather some of her hair and she began playing with the ends, a habit Wesker was well-acquainted with whenever she was trying to distract herself from whatever she was feeling. But he didn’t know what to do this time around. It was tough enough dealing with her emotions when he wasn’t trying to keep his temper under control, and the way she was acting like she hadn’t hurt him with her asinine remarks wasn’t helping matters.

A moment passed of neither of them speaking up, and Wesker knew there was little he could do to coax some kind of response from her when she was like this. Instead, he busied himself with unclasping his watch, the one she had bought him on their last anniversary, and he carefully set it aside before he worked on removing his gloves.

“You…” He lifted his head to look over at her due to the tremble in her voice, and he watched as she hurriedly blinked a few times, trying to fight off oncoming tears. “You humiliated me.”

Diana didn’t need to see his face to know what kind of reaction that had caused, judging by the way his hands paused in her peripheral vision, and she could have sworn she heard his jaw clench, teeth grinding together. However, the one thing she was certain of was that he was staring directly at her; she could feel his eyes practically boring a hole into the side of her head. If there had been a flash of that vivid red, she couldn’t tell, and honestly, she didn’t care. Yelling at her like that in their lab, where any passersby could have heard him – and she had no doubt some of the researchers had with the looks she had gotten last night – hurt her more than what he had even said to her.

Wesker rose from his position next to her and picked up his things, walking away from the bed, and there was no doubt in her mind that he needed to get away from her lest he say something nasty.

Diana only watched as he tossed his watch and gloves on the counter in the small kitchen in their room as he passed by it, and she chewed on her lip in an attempt to prevent a shaky breath from leaving her. The way his shoulders were tensed up to his ears and how he rubbed at his eyes as he made his way to the bathroom actually made her feel a bit sick. Why did she have to say anything in the first place?

The moment he was out of sight, she finally let out a deep breath, looking up to try and stop the tears that were welling up in her eyes again. The sound of him beginning to mutter to himself caught her attention, but he turned the shower on before she could make sense of what he was saying, the running water drowning out whatever thoughts he was angry enough that he felt the need to verbalise. The notion that she had ruined everything between them crossed her mind, that their marriage was irreparable after claims such as this, but she refused to believe it. 

Time. She simply needed time away.

She rolled onto her side, returning to the position she had been lying in before he had walked over. The photo from their wedding – well, technically, their vow renewal ceremony – that was sitting on her nightstand drew her gaze, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to look away, even though it was only making her feel worse. The miniature versions of the two of them seemed almost unrecognisable. Ten years shouldn’t have felt like a lifetime ago.

Diana didn’t know when she had tucked her knees up to her chest, but staring at that old picture of them only made her tighten her arms around her legs. They stood close, bodies pressed together while they were hand-in-hand, his other arm wrapped around her waist in a possessive gesture, but it was the indistinct smiles on both of their faces, and her loving gaze while his was obscured by his glasses, that really made her chest hurt. Why weren’t they like that anymore? What changed?

Are you done? Wesker had asked far too harshly after she made a few comments about his whereabouts or why he never came to bed anymore, implying he was occupying himself with someone else. She couldn’t even remember what she had said next, something about how it was probably Excella, or maybe even Jill, considering she was around the same age Diana had been when she had met him, but it had set him off. How dare you accuse me of this!

The venom in his voice had rendered her immobile, and she had no time to regain herself and respond before the yelling started. Most of what he had said went in one ear and out the other; she was far too stunned by his reaction for it to sink in. The promises of devotion to her, the reiteration that in over ten years his mind had never wandered, the preaching of how no one on the planet could ever compare to her; none of it seemed to matter with the questions he bellowed.

Would you like to compare me to that poor excuse of an ex-husband in another way? Do you have a plan to kill me next? Diana had only felt betrayed in that moment, negating his reverent monologue. How could he yell something so personal, something she had told him in confidence, for anyone to hear? The way he had tugged on her arm following that, pulling her close to look down into her eyes – luminescence never subsiding – didn’t make her feel nearly as small as what he had spat next. When did you become so insecure?

He had a point. He didn’t have to yell at her, or say it like that, but he had a point. When did she fall back into this behaviour? It had been decades since she needed reassurance from anyone. But this wasn’t for admiration or for her work and abilities to be recognised, it was… different. She had never questioned this before, even when that bastard had slept around for months before she had found out. She had never felt undesirable.

Diana hadn’t heard the water stop, too lost in thought to even notice, but the sound of Wesker’s feet padding across the floor seemed to pull her back to the present. Her breath caught in her throat when the mattress dipped behind her under his weight, and the small tap of his glasses when he placed them down on the nightstand made her heart feel like it was going to break its way out from under her rib cage.

She heard him shift to lie down, getting more comfortable, and her vision clouded once more. He didn’t even lean over to press a kiss into her hair or wrap an arm around her waist. Like most nights these days. Though that was a rather foolish thing to wish for at the minute.

Then he finally spoke up. “When are you leaving?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, but it was too late, a tear had already escaped and rolled down her cheek, catching behind the angle of her jaw.

“Tomorrow,” Diana replied, then she cleared her throat as quietly as she could to rid the rasp in her voice. “I spoke with Alex this morning and she could use some help around the island.”

Wesker glared at the door to their room opposite the bed, trying to focus on anything other than the way the knife twisted in his heart. The fact that she had spoken to Alex about taking some time away before ever discussing it with him made him… not angry per se, but it almost felt like a betrayal in and of itself.

He couldn’t believe her. After everything they had been through together, everything he had done for her, he couldn’t understand where she got this foolish idea in her head that he was cheating on her with that irritant. It went against everything he had ever said to her, every way he had worshipped her. Surely he hadn’t done something without his knowledge to make her feel this way.

Rolling onto his back, Wesker ran his hands down his face. He shouldn’t have yelled at her. Why did he yell at her? They have always spoken about their issues, explained how one of them had upset the other, then they’d apologise and move on. Why did he yell? What had he even said to her? All he could remember was red. Everything had been red.

“Diana.”

Silence.

The thumping of her heart was overwhelming his senses, and for a moment he thought she might actually be scared of him. She had never been scared of him. The pit in his stomach only grew at that, and he clawed through the mess that were his memories to try and remember what had even happened. He couldn’t lose her because of this nonsense. He couldn’t lose her.

Wesker moved over to her side of the bed, suddenly feeling the need to hold her, and he pressed his chest to her back and wrapped an arm around her waist. But the way she tensed up against him felt like a punch in the gut. She used to love being held like this, craved it even, and he couldn’t imagine her not wanting his comfort. Perhaps it had simply been too long since he’d done it.

“Talk to me, dear,” he whispered near her ear, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up on end. Then Diana felt the press of his lips behind her ear, then to the side of her neck, then at her nape. “I’m sorry.”

He needed to stop whispering that in between his fleeting kisses across her shoulders and back, because she wasn’t that far off from kicking him right where she could guarantee it would hurt. He should be glad she hadn’t elbowed him and perhaps cracked a rib or two the moment he had moved closer towards her.

“Stop it,” Diana finally muttered.

Wesker immediately paused in leaving a trail of kisses down her spine and propped himself up on one forearm, his other hand reaching for her cheek as he hovered over her. She turned in his arms, rolling onto her back to look up at him, but that was all she did, golden eyes scanning over his features.

Diana’s heart sank once she saw the pained expression on his face; what she had caused. She wished she could swallow her pride and apologise to him for being so selfish, doubting his loyalty to her because of her own issues. She believed she deserved it then if the hand on her cheek decided to travel lower to close around her throat. He could easily snap it in one fluid motion, or perhaps he would like to crush her trachea instead, just to watch her struggle as her body realised it was being deprived of oxygen.

His hand moved higher instead, fingertips gently brushing her hair away from her face, then Wesker leaned in and rested his forehead against hers, taking her by surprise; she had no doubt her eyes had gone comically wide at that.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips, his hot breath warming her skin, before he leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I haven’t said it enough, but I do, I love you.”

Diana almost rolled her eyes at that. The last thing she needed was for him to pity her and shower her in affection. Her hand came between them before she pushed on his chest, making him pull back, and she took note of the look of… desperation in his eyes and the way his brows were knit together. His thought process suddenly dawned on her then.

“I’m not leaving you, Al, I just need time to think,” she said while holding his gaze, one of her hands hesitating at her side as she itched to reach up and cup his cheek, but she refrained from doing so. “So please, stop doing… this.”

Wesker visibly relaxed above her, his features softening and the tension in his shoulders seeming to melt away, but his eyes remained locked on hers. She felt awfully exposed beneath him like this, and the way he was shifting to lie more comfortably against her, his warm body pressing against her side with one of his knees settling between her own, it didn’t help at all. Diana cursed the way her gaze drifted down to his lips. 

He wasn’t getting a kiss tonight.

She wished he wasn’t even lying this close to her, but something within her wanted to cling to him and revel in his warmth, savouring every touch as though that was somehow a measure of her worth.

He opened his mouth to speak but Diana already knew what he was going to say, and she cut him off, “I don’t want to talk about it until I get back.”

“We always talk.” He searched her eyes as he slowly traced a line down the side of her neck then across the length of one of her sharp collarbones. “Help me understand why this is any different.”

“Because it’s not about you,” Diana snapped, and the way his eyes widened slightly only mirrored the shock she felt at herself for how the words had unintentionally left her lips. “It’s…” She looked away from him then, but once she felt his hand find her own beneath the covers, his fingers lacing with hers, she sighed. “You haven’t done anything to make me question your fidelity.”

“I obviously have, dear, or you would not have accused me of doing such a thing.” Wesker squeezed her hand, brushing his thumb over the back of it.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Diana only muttered in response.

“Okay,” he whispered, then pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “But I must know if you’re having doubts about us.”

Diana slowly met his gaze and it really hit her then how much she had hurt him with all of this nonsense. Why the looks he’d given her or the yelling hadn’t, she had no idea, perhaps because she was far too preoccupied with her damaged pride to really consider how her accusation must have made him feel.

She scratched the tail end of one of her brows then let out a short exhale through her nose in way of a weak chuckle.

“I think we are spending too much time working in the lab, together, and it’s making us… at each other’s throats for no reason.” Wesker wanted to interrupt her and tell her that he’d never thought that way, that whenever they disagreed on a method he valued her input, even if her questioning irritated him at times. “We’ve been bickering too much over little things; could use a reset, I suppose. But no. I need to figure this”—she gestured vaguely at the side of her head—“out.”

“And I cannot help?” Wesker raised a curious brow, accompanied by the slight tilt of his head as his eyes slowly wandered over her face.

Diana pushed him away from her side with ease then, something she would have struggled pathetically to do before she transcended humanity. She pointed towards his side of the bed in some attempt to establish some distance between them, only until she sorted out whatever this insecurity was that had her turning their time apart from one another into some notion that he thought her abhorrent or something of the like, but that arrogant smirk on his face was testing her something fierce.

“On my own,” she added to her past statement, rather dramatically at that, a treacherous smile threatening to pull on her lips. He only chuckled in response, sending a knowing glance her way, and she did actually kick him then.

“So,” Alex began as she walked over to the large leather couch with a cup of tea in each hand, “what did my dear brother do this time?”

The term of endearment said in such a mocking tone drew a chuckle from Diana, and she watched as the uncanny resemblance of her husband placed the two teacups down on the table before she sat beside her, crossing one leg over the other.

It was odd to Diana, finding out that Spencer had stolen hundreds of children from families all across the globe, and yet the idea that Albert and Alex were twins could never quite leave her mind. They looked too similar for that not to be the case, they had the same birthday – though that could have also been a lie – and he had never questioned their relations. Surely tests would have revealed to him that they weren’t biologically related. They have to be.

The question she had asked, on the other hand, was not something Diana wished to think too much on at the moment. “It’s nothing, just a small spat is all.”

Alex hummed, though she knew for a fact that the younger woman was lying. Usually she was quite good at that, but the way she failed to hide the corners of her lips pulling into a frown and how she turned her head away to look off into the distance deceived her none. What really fascinated Alex was that she could’ve sworn she had seen her eyes start to water.

“Diana?” She lightly tapped her foot against Diana’s shin, and the other woman looked down at her lap for a second before turning back to her.

“We’re fine.” The small, forced smile she sent Alex’s way did little to convince her, and Alex almost laughed in response. “Simply taking some time apart, too much arguing with work.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed at that and she tilted her head to the side. “You two do not argue.”

“Yes, well, we don’t yell either,” Diana countered, far more harshly than she had meant to.

Touchy, Alex thought to herself. However, the statement did take her by surprise. She had never seen them fight, or even disagree much for that matter, though she knew when they had misunderstandings they were resolved through discussion, not something as childish as yelling at one another. What have you done, brother?

Diana absent-mindedly waved a hand in a dismissive gesture before scoffing. “It doesn’t help how much I was reflecting on the trip over here.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” The blonde tried to keep her tone plain, but she couldn’t help the hint of curiosity that shone through her words.

Perhaps she hadn’t checked in with Albert enough if his mental state was affecting his relationship this much. He had always struggled to form long-lasting bonds, save for a few exceptions, and Alex quite liked the little viper – she had once joked he better treat her well or she might just have to steal her for herself – so it would be quite a shame if this fell apart, and she had no idea what that would do to him. Although she knew it wouldn’t be a pretty sight, judging by how hard only a few months dalliance had hit him.

Thirteen years down the drain, she mused. Their long gazes and sweet smiles that she often called “disgusting” were more tolerable than whatever this was.

“I don’t know what’s happened to him,” Diana whispered, voice trembling like Alex had never heard before.

She paused in reaching out to pick up her cup of tea and simply stared at Diana. She was looking down at her lap, toying with the hem of her skirt. Trying to keep herself preoccupied so as to not cry, Alex supposed. Then she caught sight of the tear rolling down her cheek and that made her sigh, a bit too loudly.

“Do not cry, I have never seen you cry.” Her words were stiff, almost mechanical, and it made Diana laugh as her hands came up to roughly wipe at her cheeks.

The sound of Alex shifting next to her reached her before she felt hands settle on either side of her face, lifting her head so that she was looking up at her. Alex’s thumbs brushed over Diana’s cheeks, only once, while cold blue eyes wandered over her face, seeming to inspect her as she tried to calm her heart.

Alex nodded with a slight smile. “That’s better.” She dropped her hands when she was satisfied that Diana wasn’t going to make some display and start sobbing – though that was unlikely – then she sat back. “Now, what do you mean?”

Diana took a deep breath, shaking her head slightly. “I don’t know when the plans changed.”

That was peculiar. Alex was under the impression they had begun working on Uroboros to bring about a new age, to create a new world order much like that decrepit old man had intended, where there would be no place for the foolish masses, but she was quite curious by what these original plans must have been.

She didn’t have to wait long because Diana only continued, “In the beginning, it was never about this… wish to remake the world, it was…” She trailed off with this look of utter disgust on her face, like she had trod on something and it had stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

“What was it?”

“To stabilise the mutant strain within him and you, for starters, but whatever happened to our goal of immortality? Though, I suppose he already had that, and I was weighing him down more than anything…” Diana looked down at her lap again, chewing on her bottom lip before she shook her head. “We were to be gods in our own right, having these abilities that others could only dream of.” A weak chuckle spilled from her lips then. “We used to laugh at those who weren’t as smart as us, they were like a source of entertainment at times”—the small smile faded from her lips—“but now it only seems like he is intent on driving some… mass extinction event.”

Alex’s jaw suddenly clenched at that, accompanied by a sharp inhale, however, that only made it as far as the bubble at the base of her throat, her body not ready for such a sudden reaction. Swallowing did nothing to facilitate its journey, only aggravating the irritation, and the air came right back out in the form of a rather violent cough.

Diana’s head snapped to look over at Alex before her eyes darted around the room, looking for her bag as the woman next to her dissolved into another one of her coughing fits. Then she remembered she usually kept what she needed on her at all times. When Diana moved closer to reach for her blazer pocket, Alex held up a hand to warn her off and did it herself, roughly pulling her inhaler out with her other hand before she took a few puffs, breathing slowly and putting her hand on the armrest to steady herself.

“This damned illness…” she muttered to herself, but she had no doubt Diana heard her with those now heightened senses of hers. It was getting worse, but she had work to do, and she wasn’t going to spend her days lying around doing nothing. Rest only made her feel worse.

Diana reached over towards the table and picked up Alex’s cup of tea, hoping it may ease her throat some. She carefully handed it to her, and Alex gave her a small smile with a slight nod of her head, patting her hand once she’d taken the cup from her. Diana had no idea what else to do besides that, and she simply sat there, wondering if she should continue with their previous topic, or simply drink her tea and abandon it completely.

Alex watched Diana as she took another sip, taking in the sight of the object of her brother’s affection. Obsession is more accurate, she thought to herself. She was a rather clueless thing when it came to assisting others, but Alex appreciated the gesture, nonetheless.

Her eyes wandered over her then; the golden eyes that were once blue weren’t nearly as jarring to her as her sinewy arms for some reason, despite those vertical slit pupils. They weren’t necessarily muscular, simply defined more than anything, but her veins seemed far more prominent than she remembered. It was an odd sight; Diana never really had much tone, her arms used to look quite similar to her own thin ones actually, so this was perhaps a sight that would take some time for her to get used to.

It still amused her that Diana had injected herself with Uroboros on a whim, almost giving poor Albert a heart attack; the dosage was far more than her slight body could handle, and yet here she was, sitting right in front of Alex. She supposed it was only fair though, seeing as he had done the same thing to her ten years ago. Made for each other, those two.

That made her mind drift back to what Diana had said before. They were all working towards that same goal, the greatest power man could ever wish to achieve: immortality. However, she was unaware of this unnecessarily destructive behaviour Diana had spouted. It seemed like pure nonsense, but she supposed she couldn’t write it off completely. He had always been quite extreme in his methods, sure, though he knew you must control those who are lesser than you, use fear to your advantage; that is the most powerful motivator, after all, but omnicide… That was rather imaginative of him.

“It is a foolish plan,” Alex said, and Diana’s head snapped to look at her. “Albert is going to get himself killed.”

Diana let out an exhale in place of a laugh, nodding in agreement as she settled back against the couch. “He has been making many errors.” She rested her head on the top of the backrest. “He’s so… full of hatred, become so obsessed with this ideal, that he’s not—”

Alex’s eyes narrowed at the way she cut herself off. She wanted to hear this train of thought though. “What?”

He's not thinking clearly. He’s only digging himself into an early grave, and he wants to take everyone down with him. But she didn’t dare say that.

“He’s being reckless more often, and I don’t care much for it,” Diana said in a low voice, as though she didn’t really want anyone to hear what she was saying. “And this plan. I don’t understand his motive, I suppose. Perhaps Spencer still has total control over him, even after death.”

“Have you said this to him?” Alex asked as she sat up straight, quickly placing her cup of tea back down onto the coaster.

“Gods, no. We fought over an accusation I made regarding us, not work—”

“Good. You will not mention this, Diana.” Alex cut her off, and the moment Diana opened her mouth to speak once more, she beat her to it. “No, this is an unreasonable train of thought. ‘Of his own volition…he turned and shunned the world,’ just as the world did to us when we vanished as children. How do you think he would feel if he knew you were questioning his actions as simply an extension of that idiot?”

Diana’s eyes went wide at that. “That’s not what I—”

“Is it not?” Alex asked, her voice a touch louder than before and her tone resolute as she tilted her head to the side. Her piercing gaze cut right through Diana, but she didn’t avert her own eyes. “We are taking advantage of the resources he supplied us, continuing his research for our own purposes. If you believe that we were ever loyal—”

“Alex, that is not what I’m saying!” Diana abruptly stood up and clasped her hands behind her head as she began to pace.

The frustration in her voice was more at herself rather than Alex; she had always had trouble articulating what she was feeling and after the last few days, nothing seemed to be making much sense anymore. She shouldn’t have said anything at all.

The plan was almost in its final stage anyway, there was no point in worrying about such things, especially not when she knew she wouldn’t be able to convince Albert otherwise; it would only come off as though she was “against” him. But she was concerned. Even though it wouldn’t change their rate of survival when she had already adapted, and he would as well, it was simply that she wasn’t sure if this was something he really wanted, or if it was Spencer’s influence on him that was driving him to do this.

“Diana.” Alex’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and Diana turned around to look at her once more, only to be met with a tired looking smile. “This world needs changing, surely you can see that.” She stood up from the couch and walked over to where Diana was standing by the windows. “And although I must admit, there are better methods, Albert is not in the wrong.”

Diana sighed, looking out at the elevator in the centre of the Monument, before she nodded. There was no use in fighting over this. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am. But perhaps you need some rest, yes?” Alex’s eyes wandered over Diana’s face for a moment, taking in how distressed she looked. The topic of whatever she and Albert had argued over was still intriguing to her, but now was not the time. “Come, I will show you to your room.”

She began walking towards the door, turning her head to look back at Diana as a cue for her to follow, and that’s exactly what she did once she retrieved her bag, their cups of tea forgotten and left for someone else to clean up. Alex opened the door and held it open for her before locking it behind them.

“How long will you be staying?” she asked as they began walking down the stairs, the sound of both of their heels resounding off the high walls and seemingly endless ceiling of the Monument.

“I’m not sure yet.” Diana gave her a small smile, but it was only met with a raised brow and narrowed eyes, though the expression passed almost as soon as it appeared as Alex shook her head once.

“Well, no matter. It will be nice to have you around. I would like your opinion on the trials with the new batch of guinea pigs,” Alex said, the smile on her lips rather wicked, and the glint in her eyes shouldn’t have intrigued Diana.

‘The animal wrests the whip from its master and whips itself in order to become master, not knowing that this is only a fantasy produced by a new knot in the master’s whiplash.’ — Franz Kafka

#i am SO sorry it's long... this prompt has been collecting dust in my inbox for ages but i figured out how to relate it to this old fight... #setting: late 2008. months before the events of 5 // quotes used are both from kafka's blue octavo notebooks but yes... the prompt name is #ironic <3 diana is very much not in control right now besties and she's having a no good bad time lmao there are a lot of reasons their #fight happened which i could talk about for a while but i think i mentioned a little bit of what causes it in a few asks a bit back #also alex is probably so out of character idk who knows i have never written her before. i mean this whole thing is just. not how i wanted #it but it's fine it's okay. like it's close but i just was having trouble with my wording a bit with this one. also narcissistic behaviour #i mean it's from all of them in this but i just wanted to warn on top of that with manipulation tactics in a sense idk i'm not sure though #also it's so weird referring to him as albert lmao but i couldn't use his surname when it's both of the weskids soooo #oc: diana #pair: ewskers #writing. #asks. #steelport

[n3g5nx]

What Have I Been Dragged Into?

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CHAPTER NINE

Keep in mind previous warnings <3

I'm lowkey in love with my version of Amber in this !!!

AO3 Chapters

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X was in their room with a trash can propped up beside their bed. It was noon and they’d hardly moved, the hangover killing them. Not having a drop of alcohol for who knows how long and then drinking basically a full bottle of wine was doing absolute wonders on their body. Horrible, miserable, painful wonders. Head aching and stomach churning, they leaned over the bed again and hurled into the trash can for about the hundredth time. 

The sun shown just a smidge two bright, agitating their persistent migraine and warming the room to an uncomfortable level. Luckily, it was almost fall and things would start to cool down soon. But that wasn’t now, so X writhed in misery on their plush bed. They were helpless when their thoughts began to drift to Negan, eyes falling to the dark bruises on their wrists. They remembered their husband too, making them lean over the bed again. Every memory flooded into the can along with the small breakfast they had attempted to eat, every ounce of water.

Still, they craved more. To stop thinking about Negan, forget this endless cycle they were in. Drawn in, chewed up, and spit out. It felt like hell, only now it seemed their taste was getting worse. Groaning, they wearily sat up against the bed frame and clutched Buttons to their chest. Their only solace in this fucked up place. That moment was interrupted by a faint knock on the door.

With a sigh, X pushed themselves up and went to the door, peaking out to see Amber in that same black dress.

“Hey.” She started softly, holding up a pill bottle, “I got you something. Helps with hangovers.”

They smiled at her, opening the door and gesturing for her to come in before taking the bottle. Wobbling over to the kitchenette, they grabbed a water bottle and washed down two of the pills as the bottle instructed. The water was cool and soothing to their throat, but settled oddly in their stomach like a foreign object.

“Thank’s, Amber.” X said with a nod before settling back on the bed, patting the spot beside one as they pulled their legs up to their chest.

Amber smiled back and waved her hand nonchalantly before sitting down beside them, “Its no problem. Least I could do for getting you drunk, right?” She laughed softly.

X couldn’t help but notice how melodic her voice sounded, though her eyes didn’t quite match. They were dull and sad looking, something far off in them. Still, they smiled back and tucked a strand of hair behind their ear. They sat in silence for a minute before Amber chirped up again.

“He’s been locked in his room all day. Wont answer to anyone.” Her eyes turned to the ground as she spoke, crossing one leg over the other. She didn’t even have to say his name. X knew.

X scoffed, glancing out the window and squinting their eyes at the light, “I hope he’s goddamn miserable.”

Amber looked back over at X, putting a hand on their shoulder reassuringly, “I’m sorry he entangled you in his fucked up web, really. We, me and the others, feel for you. Really. All been there in some way or another.” She sighed, a glimpse of her inner sorrow flashing outwardly on her face.

They studied her expression with a frown, that deep frown and sad eyes striking a chord within X. It felt familiar, mirroring their same sense of self-doubt and inner turmoil, the brink of complete emotional instability. Reminded them of themself and how the path they were on was leading right back to that. Everything had seemed fine before, everything was okay. Then they just had to run their mouth and let out the monster. 

“I feel bad…” X mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of their shirt, unable to meet Amber’s gaze directly. “I mean, I started the argument. It was my fault really.” Their voice trembled with vulnerability, eyes stinging all of the sudden.

Amber's frown deepened, turning X’s head with one hand to hold their gaze on her with a firm but caring motion. “Don’t say that. He is not a good man. He’s toyed with you and played you like a pawn. That’s what he does. He can pout about losing his ‘favourite side piece’ all he wants.” Her eyes locked onto theirs, words flowing with a note of conviction.

There was a heavy pause, the atmosphere weighing heavy on both of them. X swallowed hard, throat tight with emotion before they cleared their throat to speak, “You know I’ve never slept with him, right?”

Amber looked surprised, eyes visibly widening and blinking in rapid succession, “Really?” She asked in genuine astonishment “The way he acts about you, I mean, it seemed like… I don’t know.”

X shook their head, mouth pulling into a tense, thin line. “Yeah,” Their voice held a bitter edge “I think, like, everyone thinks I whore myself out to him.” They groaned, laying back on their bed and covering their face with one of the pillows.

“Hey,” Amber pulled the pillow away, grasping their hand and offering a small squeeze, “I never thought that… I just thought, well, he did what he’s best at…” 

That sad look of hers burned into X’s heart, making them ache more than the receding hangover. The two of them laid side by side in silence for a while, watching the ceiling. It couldn’t have been but for a few minutes but it felt like an eternity. Amber’s presence almost felt like an anchor keeping them in reality at that moment, their fingers still intertwined.

The events of the previous night seemed to play on loop in X’s mind, each moment playing in slow-motion over and over again. The way Negan spoke, physical aggression, the haunting memories it brought back. It was like at any moment they would crack and transform back into the monster they once were. Transformed by hatred.

Amber pulled away suddenly, slowly standing up and offering a last smile to X “I should be going back now. Can’t be gone for too long.”

X’s heart ached but they nodded in understanding, sitting up and crossing their legs. “Thank you for talking to me, Amber. And for the pills.” They smiled back wearily.

“Of course. I’ll see you again soon, okay?” and with that she made her exit, disappearing out the door.

X was left alone with their thoughts again, luckily much less nauseous this time. Their resolve began to weaken as they stared down at their bruised wrists, tears coming to their eyes. They wiped them away quickly with a sniffle, standing up and changing into a long sleeve shirt and black jeans. Much to their dismay, the sleeves came just short of the bruises, leaving them exposed.

They swallowed their shame and slipped their boots on before heading out the door.

Outside the confines of the Sanctuary, momentarily abandoning its imposing walls, X walked through the nearby trees with a pistol strapped to their side. There was time and walkers to kill, and that they would do. Boots snapped twigs under them, rustling leaves and leaving indents in the mud as they went. It wasn’t long until a few walkers had picked up on the noise, moving slowly in on them.

With furrowed brows, they turned around and held the gun steady, shooting both the undead freaks behind them. One shot each, finally. They couldn’t help but smile before feeling a bony hand on their shoulder. Whipping around, X pushed the walker away and raised their gun again, shooting it once in the neck before reloading and nailing it in the head. Their heart pounded as they fought to catch their breath, doing a nervous 360 with the pistol aimed forward.

They trudged forth through the brush once the coast was clear, suddenly more on edge than before. Still they followed the distant, haunting sound of walkers groaning and stumbling through the brush noisily, coming across a clearing in the trees. It looked slightly peaceful, wildflowers dusting the ground and light shining on the dew kissed grass.. X remained keenly aware of the sound of the dead nearby as they entered the clearing slowly. 

Three walks bumbled out of the trees then and into the clearing, snarling and gnashing their teeth. X raised their weapon and shot. One shot, two shot, reload, one shot. A smile crossed their lips, their confidence building as a handful more followed. This time, they downed them all in one shot, letting out a gleeful giggle. For the next one that meandered out into the clearing on its own, X unsheathed a knife from their belt and ran at it from the side, ramming the blade into its soft head.

Another came, another downed. Again like clockwork, X stabbed walker after walker as they trickled in. Each wing got harder, more vigour put into each stab. It wasn’t long until a larger zombie came burling into the clearing. X shot its knee out, causing the behemoth to drop and start dragging itself toward them.

Their grin grew as they slowly walked toward the beast. Moving over to its side, X put one leg on the other side and crouched down, grabbing its rotting head in one hand and bashing it into the ground before stabbing it over and over again. Gore splattered onto their hands and sleeves, a wild look in their eyes.

Once it seemed like no more were coming forward, X laid in the middle of the flowery patch and let out a sigh, gazing up at the clouds passing by. Relief washed over them, the display of violence calming their nerves. Turmoil was replaced with a sense of bliss calmly nestled in their mind. They decided then they would talk to Negan when they got back to the Sanctuary. Hopefully smooth things over. 

With one firm, loud knock at the door, X let their hand fall. Grasping one hand in the other in front of them, they waited, rolling on their heels and humming softly. They thought about knocking again, properly this time, but before they could even move the door creaked open. Negan was standing there, a scowl on his face. Glancing down and taking in who it was, his expression softened and he stepped back, opening the door wider. X smiled and walked in, making their way wordlessly passed him and onto that black leather couch of his.

Clicking the door shut, Negan strode over to the couch and cleared his throat, “Listen, sweetheart…” he started in a low, gravely voice but X cut him off, lifting their purpled wrists up. Negan paused, breath momentarily caught in his chest.

He seemed surprisingly nervous which pleased X, maybe he really felt bad after all. Maybe it was just all a misunderstanding. 

“You know, I was married before dead people started eating everyone.” X said calmly, their intense gaze meeting Negans, “Before I watched him get eaten alive, he did this to me too. You would have hated each other though, funnily enough.” They smiled again.

Negan shifted uncomfortably, taking a seat beside X, facing each other. “Look, I didn’t want to hurt you, okay?”

X nodded, taking one of his hands into theirs “But you did.” they started matter of factly. “Because I pushed your buttons.”

He raised an eyebrow at them, not pulling his eyes away from theirs, “I don’t want to hurt you.” He raised his free hand to their cheek, gently tracing his thumb across their soft skin.

“I know, I can tell..” X admitted with a sigh, leaning into Negan's touch

“You are confusing as shit, sweetheart.” He let out a low chuckle, a whisper of that cocky grin sneaking onto his lips.

“Yeah, you are too.” They slowly leaned in and carefully planted a kiss on Negan’s lips.

Their heart fluttered at the contact, breath hitching as their eyes fluttered closed. Honestly, they were surprising themself her, but… It felt right somehow. Negan leaned in, deepening the kiss as he slid his hand to the back of their head, fingers running through their hair. X squeezed his other hand before pulling back,  opening their eyes to Negan’s stunning eyes looking back into theirs. 

Time stood still for a moment, both of them staring intently at the other. There was a hunger for more swimming in Negans eyes but he held himself back, not wanting to scare them off. They were looking at him with those goddamn doe eyes. He couldn’t help the way it tugged at his heartstrings. The tension between them was thick in the air, their faces still so close, breaths mingling together. This time, Negan pulled them in, a deep but gentle kiss.

This one lasted longer, X letting out a soft sound against Negan's lips as he put his other hand around their waist and pulled them closer. Timidly, X let their mouth slowly slide open, Negan immediately taking the opportunity to snake his tongue inside, desperately lapping at theirs. They reciprocated, tilting their head slightly and pulling themselves into his lap.

They stayed like that for a minute, pressed together tightly. Negan rolling his hand up and down their back while squeezing the back of their neck softly, X carefully running their hands through his hair. X pulled back again, moth still slightly ajar as a string of spit briefly connected them.

X gulped, their eyes cast down nervously. Of course, they found themselves blushing. Negan grinned as he found both his hands on their waist, admiring their body so close to his.

“I don’t know what I’m doing…” X muttered with a gulp, moving their hands to his shoulders. Their heart was facing feverishly, threatening to burst from their chest.

Negan chuckled in response, raising a hand to their cheek, “Does it matter?” His voice was light and playful, coaxing a small smile from X as they shrugged.

“Maybe.” They replied with uncertainty, eyes finding their way back to his ruggedly handsome face.

Tentatively, X laid their head on Negans shoulder, wrapping their arms around him. Much to their delight, Negan returned the favour, holding them close. He held them like they were made of glass, about to break at any moment. Each touch was gentle and tender. It was a stark contrast to the night before, and X couldn’t help but think he must feel guilty. That he must feel bad for what he did, and this was him making up for it. And, well, it was certainly working.

#negan #negan smith #twd negan #the walking dead #twd #fanfic #twd fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #negan x reader #negan x oc #its so toxic #theyre so silly #he is a bastard