#I haven’t done pixel art in a long time damn

[roemantics]

in loving memory

#the evil within #tew #laura victoriano #tew laura #tew fanart #psycho break #my art #fanart #pixel art #I haven’t done pixel art in a long time damn #a bit shabby but I like it

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

Excuse me! But where is my Sanders Sides Gamer AU???

Voices in my head: Gee Bunny, it seems you have no problem writing a lot of other fics and stuff yet you still haven’t even finished the next chapter of your Spiderverse fic???

Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP DISEMBODIED VOICES IN MY HEAD!!! IF YOU WANT THAT FIC DONE SO BADLY TELL MY LOGIC AND CREATIVITY TO GET THEIR ASSES IN GEAR AND GIVE ME SOME GOD DAMN INSPIRATION!!!!

Voices in my head:.....

Me: Yeah, that’s what I thought! Anyways, idk if I just missed a memo or something but I haven’t seen any Gamer AU of my boys and that is a crime in and of itself! Like, how dare! But fret not, I am here to provide content (Read: headcannons) that you did not ask for! Let us begin! Or should I say start!

(please note that I am not a gaming expert so feel free to add or correct stuff)

NOW WITH A PART 2!!!!

MAIN SQUAD

Roman Rosewood

Obviously loves RPGs! Anything with a good story line really! Or has medieval fantasy aesthetic!

Skyrim, Diablo, Undertale, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Fallout, Red Dead Redemption, Undertales, Dragon Age, God of War Dark Souls, Assassins Creed, Earthbound, etc.

Played West of Loathing just so he could rip on it but actually ended up loving it and spending way to many hours playing. Then he found out there was a game called Kingdom of Loathing by the same creators and went down that rabbit hole as well.

He was iffy about getting into JRPGs but then Virgil convinced him to play Persona 5 and he absolutely fell in love with the music!

All the music in his phone is either from musicals or Video games!

Also really likes choose your own adventure games like Detroit: Become Human, Life is Strange, and Telltale Games

So much video game merch! Usually figurines because he likes to make little shelves and display cases for them.

He also really likes multiplayer games because he’s a social butterfly and likes to play with his squad.

Sucks at first person shooter games but still willingly plays Fortnight or Call of Duty or Left for Dead with his friends because he doesn’t want to be a drag and complain. But also they sometimes die in game in the most hilarious ways and it just leaves everybody wheezing.

Virgil Dante

Horror games, obvs!

All about that dark aesthetic!

Devil May Cry, Silent Hill, Fran Bow, Sally Face, Resident Evil, The Witch’s House, Amnesia, Little Nightmares, Bendy and The Ink Machine, Alice: Madness Returns, SCP-Containment, Pony Island, etc.

Yes, he’s played all the Five Nights At Freddy’s games. It’s a good series and it isn’t his fault the fandom is bat shit crazy and full of ten year olds! Fuck you Roman!

Every time the Walking Dead comes out he knows he’ll end up crying by the end of it. He and the squad make and event out of it.

Japanese horror games are usually his favorite because they deal more with the psychological aspects of horror instead of the jump scares

So, yes, he’s also a fan of Corps Party and Fatal Frame

Also really good at first person shooters because he has a really steady hand (you usually have to when playing horror games least you want to restart the level) and it pisses Roman off to no end every time Virgil randomly headshots him.

Usually likes to by merch in the form of posters, t-shirts, or beanies. He only buys figurines if it’s a game he really, really likes.

At first didn’t know why people kept bugging him to play Doki Doki Literature Club but then he finally caved and...oh...that’s why.

Logan Mill

My boy loves puzzle and strategy games yo!

Legend of Zelda, Portal, Tetris, Unravel, World of Goo, Inside, Limbo, Pokemon, Shadow of the Colossus, StarCraft, Command and Conquer, Age of Empire, Heart of Iron, World of Warcraft, etc.

He likes Overwatch but doesn’t like playing with people online so he usual solos or asks the others to play. But that too usually ends in chaos.

Hates rage games because he gets frustrated easily and has broken at least four keyboards and two controllers

He still plays them anyways because he can beat it damn it! Just give him a minute!

Enjoys the God of War series despite all the mythological inaccuracies

He plays a lot of Minecraft to relax or destress and has build beautiful works of architecture and sometimes entire cities.

He thought it was stupid and childish and was embarrassed about it for a long time until the squad came over to his house one day uninvited and caught him playing. He was getting ready for them to make fun of him but they instead gushed about how AMAZING everything looked and how TALENTED he was for building all himself.

Logan ends up showing them how to play afterwards and they work together to make weird sculptures and complex tunnels underground.

He likes practical merch like backpacks, coffee mugs, pencil holders, notebooks, ect. as well as a few t-shirts and novelty ties.

Yes, he does collect Pokemon cards!

Patton Adley

Silly dating sims, farming games, and any cute game really! Plus a few side scroller games!

Stardew Valley, Harvest Moon, Slime Rancher, The Sims, Dream Daddy, Animal Crossing, Kirby, Monster Prom, Hatoful Boyfriend, Scribblenauts, Night In The Woods, Ni Nu Kuni, etc.

Big Nintendo fan!

He made the mistake of playing Doki Doki Literature Club without reading the warning tags and regrets it immensely...still a good game though.

He did the same thing with Huni Pop but that one made him laugh more then anything and he kind of got addicted to it. Then he found out there was a sequel called HuniCam so he went down that rabbit hole too.

He likes a lot of phone app games too like Cut the Rope, Neko Atsume, and Candy Crush.

Loves trashy dating app games, he thinks they’re so funny and cheesy

He was addicted to Mystic Messenger for a long while

Just because he has his preference doesn’t mean he won’t try other games too, Logan got him hooked on World of Warcraft (though really he did that to everyone), Virgil showed him Hollow Knight, and Roman suggested he play Undertales.

Prefers merch in the form of plushies and key chains!

He likes to bake and decorate cookies, cakes and pastries in the form of his favorite video game characters.

RED SQUAD

Duncan [Deceit] Adley (Patton’s twin)

A lot of first person shooter and combat games!

Doom Series, Super Smash Bros, Mortal Combat, Halo, Fortnight, Grand Theft Auto, Street Fighter, Tekken, Soul Calibur, Half-Life, Team Fortress, Destiny, Wolfenstein, Bio Shock, Splatoon, PUBg etc.

Patton was the one that introduced him to Splatoon and he won’t admit that it’s actually super fun.

Doesn’t mind story driven games and RPGs but he really just wants something he can zone out to and relax

He likes to troll people online, mainly assholes picking on little kids who just want to play.

He once teamed up with a group of kids on Call of Duty solely for the purpose of collectively kicking the asses of this groups of so called “real gamers” that were being jerks.

Has memorized all the combos! He doesn’t have time to sit and look up a cool finishing move, he needs it now!

Always mains the weakest/most useless character in fighting games and still manages to kick everyone’s ass.

Doesn’t have a preference in merch and usually grabs whatever he likes be it figurines, t-shirts, posters, plushies, or whatever, so long as he likes the game it comes from.

Has several tattoos from his favorite games

Emile Picani

Classic retro games, cartoonish games, and Nintendo are his jam broham!

Mario, Classic Sonic, Paper Boy, Transylvania, Spyro, Pac Man, All the Saga Disney games, Duck Hunt, Mario Kart, Galaga, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Secret of Mana, Banjo-Kazooie, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, etc.

Absolutely fell in love with Shovel Knight when it came out!

Remy got him into all the indie pixel games: Towerfall, Terraria, Owlboy, Hotline Miami, Papers Please, Celeste, One Shot, etc.

Duncan was the one that introduced him to Cuphead and the usually play it together and see how far each of them can go without dying.

The game is difficult but the art is still so breathtaking!

Likes the occasional psychological thriller game

Bet Virgil showed him Alice: Madness Returns and Doki Doki Literature Club (after he’s played it of course)

Likes plushies and figurine merch with the occasional poster and coffee mug.

Likes to doodle a lot of his fav video game characters and cartoons and is actually really good at it. He helped design most of Duncan’s tattoos.

Remy Knightly

Likes a lot of indie games and old online flash games!

The Stanley Parables, Oxenfree, Inside, Firewatch, Super MeatBoy, The Binding of Issac, Donut County, Henry Stickman series, Impossible Quiz, Crush the Castle series, Hyper Light Drifter, etc.

He always gets everybody hooked on one game or another

He convinced everyone to play Undertales so for like a month they all went through a HUGE Undertales faze.

Was the actual, ACTUAL one that showed Duncan Cuphead because he knew the dork would be reminded of Emile because of the animation and would want to show it to him and play multiplayer (*cough* subtle matchmaker *cough*)

(Do not be fooled, he is a pinning boy himself)

Is up to date in all the gossip of the latest games and consuls, indie or mainstream! He’s in the know, know and if you need to know something chances are Remy probably knows it.

Weeds out through all the indie horror games for Virgil and recommends what he thinks are the best ones.

Same thing with Logan and his puzzle games, he’s usually is able to find very strange ones and Logan seems to likes those best.

Obviously has a lot of merch in coffee mug and thermal form as well as a few key chains.

Occasionally streams on Twitch with Duncan and Emile (sometimes inviting the main squad too), they’re commentary is usual hilarious.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remy sanders #sleep sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #emile picani #red #prinxeity #logicality #(kind of mainly in my head) #video games #gamer au

[boilingdroid]

A Loud Canvas

Rating: G Pairing: Markus and Connor (vague pining) Summary: Markus invites Connor over to come try out painting. Things are going well, until Connor begins to lose himself in the art, and not in a good way.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18742600

Notes: hi i had this idea a few weeks ago and wouldn't stop thinking about it and if i wanna indulge in content like this i have to do it mySELF. RA9 is a bitch

Adjusting to a new way of life after the revolution isn’t easy for everyone, be they human or android. Everyone came from different walks of life, their choices shaping everything around them and the people who would love or loathe them. Some humans still had their prejudices, some androids had their own traumas to mull over. Either way, Markus had become a hero, a shining new beacon, a bastion of hope for the androids, and the future was bright and promising.

Connor was grateful for his freedom, the entire world looking so different with these new eyes. To be alive, to feel alive -- it was something he accredited fully to Markus for setting him free. The thought of it is still one Connor hasn’t been able to fully process and dissect; Markus, held at gunpoint, still made an effort to reach out to him. Markus, after witnessing the destruction of Jericho, a massacre brought on by Connor, still saw a hope in him, still trusted him, still welcomed him. Even after Amanda had nearly seized control of Connor’s program and killed Markus before hundreds of freed androids, Markus held no resentment, no fear, no worry.

Had the roles been reversed, Connor would not have hesitated to kill.

He shoves these thoughts down, focusing back on the present as he took a few breaths to cool his systems. It had been several months since all of it had happened, and he stood now beside Markus as he always has since then, returning a favor. Guarding him. Watching for him. Like a loyal guard dog. Markus seems to catch the look on his face, and he puts a comforting hand on Connor’s shoulder, smiling gently.

“You don’t have to be tense all the time, you know,” Markus says, his eyes glancing briefly at the LED at Connor’s temple. “It’s safe here.”

Connor looked around the home. Expensive, frivolous, full of so much art and books -- seeing Manfred’s home in person at last made him understand Markus so much more. But still, he remembered hearing that this was where Markus died, and he wondered how he could be so calm leading Connor to the studio when he himself could barely even look down a skyscraper after his own death. It keeps him on edge.

The doors slide open, and there are canvases filled everywhere, most unfinished, others full of so much color. Markus watches Connor carefully, smiling a little to himself as Connor’s LED shifts to a curious yellow, scanning each piece. Connor broke down each stroke, identifying which were Manfred’s art style, and the others with the flourish only Markus knew how to create. His HUD lights up, picking out every detail by the millisecond; the magazines left behind, the age of some of the canvases, dust left on some of the countertops, dried oils and acrylics. His stress rises, however, when he manages to catch just the faintest trace of thirium left in the pavement. He could tell someone made an effort to scrub it clean. A human eye wouldn’t be able to detect it, and he wagers, neither would Markus anyways; his model is far more advanced than Markus’, able to pick up the scene and deconstruct it with ease. A blessing, when on missions, but right now, only a curse.

Markus had turned his back just before seeing Connor pick up on the scene, oblivious to the detective work. He hums a song quietly as he reaches for a blank canvas, propping it on the easel and setting up a palette of paints. Connor eventually rejoins him, head tilting slightly as he watches Markus mix the colors.

“Ever since Carl taught me to paint, it’s been something I haven’t been able to stop,” Markus says as he approaches, already beginning to fill in the white spaces of the canvas. “Didn’t get to make much when I led Jericho, but now I paint whenever I get the chance. It’s… calming.”

He can’t help but be a little amused at how Connor paid so much attention to each stroke, his LED at a stable yellow as he processes it. Markus is able to create art much faster than a human -- the perks of being an android -- but the speed never took away from the artwork itself. It wasn’t long until the near surreal piece was done. A full moon overhead a sea, except it appeared to be bleeding thirium blood, and the sea appeared as though it were being held by a pair of android hands.

Markus steps back to look over the piece, turning to Connor expectantly. Connor seemed fully invested in the artwork, his gaze lingering on it for a while until the LED finally spun blue.

Markus smirks. “What do you think?”

Connor gave it another glance before meeting Markus’ eyes. “There’s a part of me tempted to comment on how the moon can’t bleed,” He says, humor in his voice. “But it’s intriguing. Very much so.”

Connor had silently stored the memory of this painting into his long-term storage. He would think on this later.

An amused huff is all Markus responds with, and he moves to replace the canvas, setting his painting to dry to the side. Then, with a bit of a flourish, he hands the palette of paint to Connor. The action was unexpected, and it stumps him for a moment, simply staring at the brush and paint as its offered to him.

“Hey, come on now,” Markus teases, holding it closer to Connor until he took it. “Aren’t you a bit curious what you can make? I know I am.”

Holding the palette and brush felt so… foreign to Connor. Seeing Markus work with it was far different than this, and he finds himself shaking his head, trying to give it back.

“This is more your thing, Markus,” Connor says, internally questioning why his thirium pump seemed to have kicked a notch. “I was designed with forensics and investigative work in mind, my software specifically intended for police and --”

“Right, and I’m a domestic android who led a revolution,” Markus teases, poking at Connor’s shoulder. “You’re not bound by your creators anymore, Connor.”

Connor nods slowly, holding up the brush the same way he had seen Markus do so. Markus steps aside so he could stand before the canvas, processing. He samples the data of the times he had watched Markus create art, trying to figure out where he would begin. None of Markus’ paintings made entire sense to him, let alone the thirium moon he had just witnessed, and Connor found it rather silly that he would stand here before this inanimate, blank canvas, and feel intimidated by it.

Markus’ gentle voice fills the silence. “I was daunted by the idea of painting too when I first started,” He reminisces, garnering Connor’s full attention. “Don’t think too hard about it. It’s about… your emotion, paint what you feel.” He stood close to Connor, and damn him, Connor’s thirium pump continues to betray him. Markus sweeps his hand out towards the canvas, as if painting with just his gesture. “Interpret the world, improve on it, show what you see.”

Connor nods at this, looking between his blue and green eyes. Markus only offers a reassuring smile, and he has to turn away else another biocomponent of his starts complaining at the sight of it. “Alright,” Connor says, dipping the brush in black paint with three taps, just as Markus usually did. “... Walk me through this?”

Markus recalls Carl’s words to him, taking an unneeded breath as he watches Connor mimic him. It was funny in a way; Connor taking up this role while Markus tries to repeat the words Carl had given. It was like singing a song off key.

“Close your eyes for me,” Markus says, watching Connor’s flutter shut. There’s a bit of excitement he finds, anticipating what he might witness, but he keeps it tampered down. “Imagine… something that doesn’t exist, or something you’ve never seen. Concentrate on how it makes you feel and just… let your hand drift across the canvas.”

Connor remains silent, standing stiff in that odd, prim way he always held himself. There’s a long moment of hesitation before Connor lets the brush make contact, sweeping strokes filling the canvas with black streaks. Several times he opens his eyes to see where he’s going, nose twitching ever so slightly when the paint gave out on him and he needed to refresh it. It takes him a while to get accustomed to this, but luckily, androids don’t get tired, and Markus is more than happy to stand there the entire duration as Connor figures it out.

The first paintings start off relatively abstract. Blacks, greys, blues and reds are streaked across with no general guidance or direction aside than to just be on the canvas. A few strokes that were intended to be straight come out horrendously wobbly, much to Connor’s dismay. He starts over several times, repainting the canvas back to black, each attempt beginning to take more form and shape as he paints. He was learning and improving right before Markus’ eyes, and it was fascinating to watch. Markus wonders if this was what it was like for Carl when he watched him paint for the first time.

One hour, and twelve minutes pass since Connor began, and Markus can finally see a solid picture beginning to form. He still stuck with the same four colors, but now, they were working for him, values becoming present as Connor tapped into something within him. Grey streaks -- buildings, skyscrapers, he realizes, frames the canvas, the eye drawn to the bright rooftop at the bottom center, as if watching the scene from a bird’s eye view. Markus’ brows furrow as he watches the art begin to take form and shape, what he assumes to be a pixelated helicopter coming to life at the top, shining a light down on a figure at the rooftop while flares and strokes of red and blue pitter and patter in muffled tones around the scene. Connor’s controlled brushstrokes slowly become harsher, more energized than before, detailing a figure on the rooftop. Markus moves closer to peer at it, painted pixels forming the RK800 standing at the edge of the roof, and suddenly, Markus is filled with a wave of unease.

Paint is flicked here and there as the brush strokes become more fervent, the art coming together quicker than he was managing before. Armed soldiers all stood facing the painted Connor as he too faced them, despair in his features, red LED glowing to a broken halo that leaked and bled to the ground. Lights shone down on him, guns pointed towards him -- he holds himself hostage, his own pistol aimed at his head. Horrifically beautiful, an art piece that he knows that, if it were to be displayed at a gallery, would have the rich humans cooing and speaking over it with their wines.

But it didn’t feel right. From where Markus stood, he could see the angular features of Connor’s face were pulled taut in stress, eyes were fully shut, and as Markus circles Connor so he stood to his right, and he catches sight of the LED at his temple glowing an alarming shade of red, pulsing with every stroke he made. Every stroke, angry, shaky, losing the control and restraint he had seen earlier.

“Connor?” He calls to him. Connor doesn’t seem to acknowledge him in the slightest, and he doesn’t react when Markus puts a hand to his shoulder. Markus didn’t need to interface with him to notice that his stress levels were rising by the second, and he gives a gentle shake. “Connor, hey, you don’t need to keep going.”

He still doesn’t stop. Whatever it was he was trying to say with this needed to be out. He was caught in a trance, still moving and swaying a beat that wasn’t his own. His teeth grit, the red paint he was adding to the color near the rendition of himself suddenly spikes out, a streak of the red cutting through the skyscrapers and smearing against the greys and blacks. His cheeks were slick with tears, and as if he were possessed, his strokes change entirely. He wasn’t painting anymore, no -- this was a font. He was writing, ruining the canvas, red text over the skyscrapers and the lights. ‘RA9’, on repeat, again, again, again--

“Connor!”

Markus took hold of Connor’s face in his hands, and his eyes fly open, taking gasping for air to cool down systems he hadn’t realized were overheating. The palette drops from his hand, and he grasps Markus instinctively, grounding himself without thinking. Strings of errors clog up his system, and he takes several slow breaths before everything returned back to normal, focusing again on what was in front of him.

And oh god, Markus was right in his face.

“There you are,” Markus says, relief clear in that gentle voice of his, hands still cupping Connor’s cheeks. “Are you alright? I… I didn’t mean for this to stress you.”

Connor is keenly aware of how Markus brushes away the tears that had run down his cheeks, and he can’t stop questioning why it happened. There was no outward trigger, no real danger, and yet his entire system was poised for combat, defensive maneuvers online and ready to act, and yet he felt so unstable in the midst of it. There was something grounding about Markus being there, however, though the closeness was not something he was accustomed to. At the very least, his stress levels were beginning to reel back enough for stability.

“I.. I don’t know why I did that…” Connor says, looking back to his canvas. RA9. He recalls his previous investigations on the deviants, and how they had all frantically wrote this script on the walls, or anywhere they could get a pen to. He can feel the scripts that ran in the background and the anomalies that became present upon deviancy repeat, a sensation that would come close to that of a headache. The code continues to echo in his head, and he’s very careful to set down the paintbrush he still held so that he didn’t end up writing it again. “I… wasted your paints. I’m sorry.”

“No no, it’s fine,” Markus reassures, backing away to give Connor some space. He stoops down to fetch the palette that fell, looking back to the painting with worry. He was relieved Connor responded at all -- he’d seen other androids in Jericho reach a state similar to what he just witnessed, and it never failed to frighten him. Connor still stared at his canvas, his LED still red and cheeks still wet.

It was so strange, he thought, to see Connor this way. Connor, who always kept himself so eerily calm, prim and proper, who never let anyone see or think they had the upper hand. Connor, who carried himself with power, who could track down and hunt enemies with ease, who knew how to preconstruct skirmishes and fights and predict an outcome that he would come victorious. Connor, who had proven he would take a bullet or twelve for anyone he cared for. Connor, who now stood in his home, looking uncharacteristically lost and confused, with an art piece that said so much yet so little about who he was. Markus didn’t know how to process it.

Connor seems to pick up on this, and he holds his head up, carrying himself as if nothing had happened at all. Only his LED betrays him. “One of my earliest memories,” He says, gesturing to the canvas. “Philips apartment, 70th story, August 15, 2038. A PL600 took a little girl hostage -- CyberLife deployed me to tackle the situation. As one of my first missions, I have a tendency to revisit the memory… deconstruct it and rerun the numbers and success probabilities.”

Connor blinks several times, a defect of his as a result of being a prototype. He gestures to the art vaguely, and though Markus still hadn’t quite figured out how to read Connor entirely, he could tell that there was something heavy weighing in on him. He listens intently as he continues.

“Ever since my deviancy, I’ve thought again about that android. Daniel. I wondered if I would have done the same. What would have become of me had I been in his stead.” Connor says aloud. He runs a thumb over the still wet paint, staring down at the red that smeared on his synthetic skin. The algorithm rings in his head again, and he backs away, resisting the urge to frantically write again. “Art… is…. interesting.”

Connor looks up at Markus, doe-eyes searching him curiously. His LED was now settling back to a yellow with glimpses of blue, and he had the need to fidget and rid himself of the excess energy he had produced. Markus reaches out, hesitating only for a moment as he ponders his actions, and simply rests a hand on his shoulder. The touch is welcomed, and for a moment they just look to the painting silently.

“I understand if you don’t want to do this again,” Markus says at last, breaking the silence. “If I had known it would upset you like this, I wouldn’t have --”

“Actually,” Connor interrupts, looking to Markus and realizing that there was paint left on him. He tries to wipe it off his shirt with a finger. “As… strange as this was, I don’t think I despised it. If anything, I feel like it… helped me.”

Markus blinks a few times, but cracks a small smile. “Humans do find art to be therapeutic in a sense.”

Connor shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe it could do without the red paint everywhere. Perhaps I should have made a bleeding sun to compliment yours.”

They both chuckle lightly at that, and Connor is quick to take hold of the canvas he ruined and sets it aside, hoping not to look at it any further. There was something to this art, he supposes, and he had a newfound respect for it. He gave the studio another scan, now looking to the artwork with a different appreciation. The abstract faces, the bleeding moon, the flowers and rivers, the portraits of neon colors -- he wouldn’t be opposed to learning more about it.

“Well, you know,” Markus says, facing him fully. “You’ll always have another chance.”

That damn smile.

#okay i wrote something #DBH Markus #DBH Connor #detroit: become human #detroit become human #rk1k #rk1000 #ish #connor dbh #markus dbh #dbh fanfic #d:bh #ra9 #Detroit: BH

[game-boy-pocket]

No one asked for it, but here's my RPG experience

Final Fantasy

I've played the first seven, but I use the term "played" loosely. After all, I've only finished the first two and really only enjoyed the first one. I dont know, something about these games just lose me when I try to play them. I really want to give 4, 6, and 7 another chance and I'm dying to play 9, I think I'll like that one. I may also revisit 3, but I think I'd rather do NES than DS... lastly, Mystic Quest actually looks fun to me. Idk, I know it's not a true FF game but it's always intrigued me.

Dragon Quest

Love this series. Finished the first 6, played some of 7, 8, and 11. Loved most of them. Mixed feelings on 2 and 6. The only one that I didnt really enjoy much was 7, which is why I'm playing 8 now despite not having finished 7... I do want to come back to it.

Chrono Trigger

Played and finished the DS version. I might catch some flak for this I think the game is just okay. Frog kicks ass, couldnt tell you most of the games plot points. I'd like to replay it someday.

Super Mario

I played every Mario RPG until Sticker Star and Dream Team. Have no plans to try Color Splash or Paper Jam. Super Mario RPG, and Bowsers Inside Story were my faves. Obviously they left huge impressions on me.

Pokemon

I was a very loyal fan until recently. Gen 7 mark's the first time I couldnt finish a Pokemon game and might end up being the last one I buy. I enjoyed gen 1, 2, 3, and 5 a lot, and they left pretty big impressions on me, as they did many. But I think I've had my fill.

Earthbound

This ones pretty special to me. I played all 3 games back to back, and replayed them all a few times. I'll never forget these games. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Magical Starsign

Picked this one up for dumb reasons. And because I recognized one of the characters from Super Smash Bros Brawl's trophy collection. I dont remember a thing about it other than it having a weird art style and unconventional characters. I dont think I'll ever finish it.

Contact

Another game I picked up for dumb reasons. Another game I could scarcely recall the plot to, other than the cute pixelated scientist man and his dog on the upper screen, and the mindfuck ending where the protagonist becomes sentient and tries to throw rocks at the player... I also remember the start up being rough as hell.

Kingdom Hearts

I played KH1 and KH2. I remember fun action RPG gameplay, and fun Disney fan service. Couldnt tell you a thing about the plot other than it being an incomprehensible word salad. I think I'm ok not playing any more of the series.

Mana series

I played a lot of Secret of Mana, but I lost interest at some point in an inn run by a mushroom creature I think? I dont remember the plot in the slightest. I do remember the menu bein the most unintuitive menu I've ever had to navigate... I also played Secret of Evermore... I remember this one much better but I still abandoned it in the pirate area because it has the same damn menu system.

Tales of

I played Tales of Symphonia to kill time while waiting for the release of Super Smash Bros Brawl. I remember liking the gameplay and graphics a lot but I cant say I remember the plot... here's what I do remember. "Demon fang! Demon fang!" "Titans! Go!" "Dwarven Vow!" Pinching Genus's nose in his sleep for some reason. Yu-gi-oh voice actor. "Yoog-drasil." Lloyd got punched by his dad in front of his friends. I think there was a dog thing? Zelda 2 style overworld.

Undertale

I think this is one of the most creative and fun RPGs with a great cast of characters, a unique idea for a battle system, and an emotional story that I'm going to remember for a long time, I hate what meme lords have done to its reputation..... I haven't played Delta Rune yet, though I downloaded it ages ago.

Skies of Arcadia

One of my all time favorites. Encounter rates can get tiresome though, and I'm not a fan of the hidden "reputation" system, or certain bosses leveling to match you. But this one made a huge impression on me. It's never too moody or serious, but it's also not a total clown show either, it's just the right balance in tone for me

...and thats it. I was considering trying out Breath of Fire on the SNES online once I'm done with my dive into Dragon Quest. Theres actually a few things I may have missed on this list... this was not a good idea, but I spent my time writing this so I'm not wasting it.

[dynamite-derek]

My top-10 games of 2018

It’s that time of the year where you are flooded with lists of the best stuff from 2018 and I’m no different. Originally I was going to just make a list of the top 10 games I played in 2018. I even had a giant list I was updating throughout the year. But one day my phone randomly reset and I lost that list. So, business as usual this year. Maybe next year. 

Before I start with the numbered list, I’d like to note a couple of games that won’t be appearing for various reasons.

Games I liked a lot but haven’t played enough of to place on a list like this: Into the Breach, Dead Cells

A critically acclaimed game I haven’t played: God of War

I don’t want remakes on my list, but these games were really good: Shadow of the Colossus, Yakuza Kiwami 2 and Spyro Reignited Trilogy

Ports aren’t eligible but I like these a lot too: Donkey Kong Tropical Freeze, Shenmue 1&2, Hyrule Warriors and the PC port of one of the best games ever, Yakuza 0.

Okay, let’s get started.

10-) Red Dead Redemption 2: Actually had to debate between this and Pokemon: Let’s Go Pikachu for this spot. Ultimately I chose this game because the narrative is spectacular. Well that and the fact that Let’s Go is sort of a remake. This game absolutely nails atmospheric storytelling and creates one of the most interesting protagonists in AAA gaming. This game does a lot of things well, but the actual gameplay portion is...pretty mixed. I didn’t have fun with the open world at all and most missions involved long bouts of horseback riding with dialogue or ambient music. But RDR 2 does everything else so well. It also knows when to go all out. Every major mission in the game is memorable for one reason or another, especially with intelligent usage of music. It’s a game I will never play again, but despite some problems with the gameplay I can safely say that I enjoyed my time with it.

9-) Mario Tennis Aces: This game was a lot of fun. I wrote about it earlier in the year and my opinions on it are still the same.  Even though the gameplay is fairly simplistic, every match against another human felt unique and different. You have to learn the styles of your opposition and adapt. It’s like a fighting game! The online gameplay was also pretty solid. I felt pretty damn good whenever I would win a tournament. Really, Smash Bros. Ultimate would have done well to borrow this mechanic in some way. The only real problem with the game is that there is just a major lack of content. The heavily advertised story mode is barely worth playing and the cups, well, you might as well be playing against an unmanned player 2. I haven’t touched the game in a while, so this might have been fixed via update. As I said a few months ago, this game could have been a masterpiece with a bit of extra fine tuning.

8-) Dragon Ball Fighter Z: This game feels like it was made specifically for me. I have a lot of love for the Marvel vs. Capcom games and even more love for the Dragon Ball franchise. The game is easy to approach for newcomers to this type of game by keeping the inputs simple and having very easy to pull of auto-combos. You won’t do too well online if you stick to the auto combos, but it’s a good way to start and learn how to play. I think a lot of people could start with Fighter Z and transition into more complicated fighting games, which is exactly what you want with a game like this that will attract many people who might not otherwise play a traditional fighter. Oh, and sometimes it looks like you’re playing an episode of the anime which is insane. The story mode is pretty tedious at times, which is a let down, but Fighter Z is an absolute blast to play and is easily the best playing Dragon Ball game yet. Hopefully season 2 of the DLC goes less heavy on all the Gokus. 

7-) Mega Man 11: The blue bomber returns! It’s been a long wait, but after playing through both collections last year and then the X-collection earlier this year, I was ready for Mega Man to get back into the spotlight. It’s a little hard to get into at first because the level design seems pretty tied into the main new mechanic, the gear system. Basically the player can slow things down to a crawl or boost Mega Man’s power. If you just play this game like you would any other Mega Man game, you’re probably going to throw your console out the window during Tiki Man’s stage. Once you figure this out, the system adds a unique flavor to the Mega Man experience and feels like an actual new Mega Man. I love MM9 and 10, but those did not feel like new games. The only thing that I didn’t like about this game was the music. Which, uh, is weird for a Mega Man game. Here’s hoping they get it right in the inevitable Mega Man X9. 

6-) Marvel’s Spider-Man: I don’t particularly like super hero movies and I haven’t enjoyed a Spider-Man game thoroughly since the first PS1 Spider-Man, so you wouldn’t normally think this game would appeal to me. But it absolutely does. The gameplay is outstanding and combines an improved version of the swinging scene in Spider-Man 2 with a combat system that is fairly similar to the Batman Arkham games. I recommend playing the game on hard because, while it’s hard to get used to, it makes every encounter feel unique. You constantly have to adapt to what the enemy is doing. You can’t just mash on the attack button and then press the dodge button when the dodge prompt comes up. 

The story is also interesting throughout. It has my favorite interpretation of Peter Parker I’ve seen in a while and has a pretty enjoyable cast of characters. Really Mary Jane is the only character I didn’t like and even with her, there are moments that hit home - specifically the text exchanges between MJ and Peter. The game is littered with references to past Spidey adventures and just feels like a giant love letter to fans of the hero. Can’t recommend it enough.

5-) Celeste: I didn’t know what to expect with this game. Sometimes I feel very leery of when a bunch of people prop up an indy game too much. Gone Home a couple of years ago told a pretty mediocre story that was held up as some form of high art. Just didn’t get it. So I went into Celeste wanting to not like it and came out fairly surprised. The gameplay feels like a better version of Super Meat Boy and the narrative tells a pretty compelling tale about depression and how to come to terms with yourself. I even don’t mind the pixel art. I am getting sick of indy games going for the retro aesthetic, but when combined with the great soundtrack it’s hard not to love what it’s presenting. 

The game is simple enough to complete on its own. I would argue that anybody could do it as long as they keep at it. But for those platforming veterans, the game also offers a heavy challenge. The B-side and C-side levels will test your skills and remind you of some of the most challenging bits of hard platforming games like Super Meat Boy and I Wanna Be The Guy. Basically, come for the compelling narrative. Stay for the wickedly difficult and addicting gameplay.

4-) Yakuza 6: I believe I enjoyed this game far more than most folks. It told the end of Kazuma Kiryu’s story. It had some problems along the way but my god did I enjoy the ride. The cast of characters surrounding Kiryu in Hiroshima are all great and one of the main characters is Beat Takeshi. It also has a ton of things to do and see. I love the clan wars sidequest featuring New Japan wrestlers, I love the baseball manager quest, I LOVED becoming a regular at a bar and getting to know everyone in it like I was playing some sort of weird Cheers game, I even loved the adult cam chats that came with wacky dialogue. This game is full of charm.

I haven’t mentioned the gameplay yet you might have noticed. That’s because, well, it’s a new direction for the franchise. It focuses on allowing more people to fight Kiryu at once and as a result feels less refined than recent entries Yakuza 0 and Yakuza 5. I am excited to see where they take it in Yakuza 7, but I would be fibbing if I suggested that I felt 6 plays as well as previous entries. Still, the entire Yakuza package is compelling and I never felt like I was scrambling for things to do or see. I don’t 100% games out of obligation. I’m not one of those people that feels the need to 100% every game I play. I 100%ed Yakuza 6 though. And I loved every minute of it, combat and all.

3-) Valkyria Chronicles 4: As none of you might know, I used to review games for a website called 411mania. One of the games I reviewed for them was the original Valkyria Chronicles. Nobody else wanted to do it because it looked like a generic jRPG and I was really the only person on the site who liked jRPGs so the game fell to me. And I absolutely loved it. The story was captivating, the graphics were stylish and and the gameplay felt like a breath of fresh air. It was the combination of a tactical RPG and a (very, very simplified) shooter. To this day it remains one of my favorite games ever. Conversely, Valkyria Chronicles 2 on the PSP is one of my least favorite games ever and 3 never came to the states - though it does have a fan translation. The franchise has felt dead in the west for ages. The musou-like Azure Revolution sure as fuck didn’t get me going.

4 came out this year and it felt like I went back in time. Everything I loved about 1 was back. It’s even expanded upon. The grenadier is a great new troop that feels overpowered at first, but really forces the player to rethink how to approach certain situations. The story isn’t as good as the story in 1, but I found it simple and enjoyable. I genuinely liked the main cast and wanted to see them do well. That’s more than I can say for a lot of games. I know I mentioned earlier in my blurb about Mega Man that what I liked about it was that it actually felt like a new game. The difference here is that I have 10 other Mega Man games that play like Mega Man games. With this franchise, I have 1 (or maybe 2, I hate how maps work on the PSP but I have not played enough of 3 to judge). Sometimes a franchise revival needs to go “like the one you like but more” route. I loved this game and I hope as it gets cheaper more people try it. 

2-) Dragon Quest XI: Hey you might notice this about my gaming preferences, but I really enjoy Japanese RPGs! And this sure as hell was one of those! DQ XI felt like a game from another dimension in a lot of ways. It’s a traditional playing Japanese RPG with a big AAA budget. It looks breathtaking. Big budget JRPGs feel like something out of the PS2 era, which is great because I sure love PS2 era RPGs. It’s lengthy, it has a crazy amount of postgame content and has a lot of side stuff in case you get tired of fighting down the main path. It’s a great throwback. 

This game also has the most balanced party in recent RPG memory. Usually games like these have one or two party members that you just don’t enjoy. For instance, Final Fantasy X is one of my favorite games ever. But I just don’t like Kimahri. I don’t like using him and I don’t think his character is interesting. DQ XI has nobody like that. I found everybody likable. Sylvando and Jade in particular stand out and are among my favorite characters in gaming. Really, I enjoy everything about this game. Even the music! I know a lot of people complain about the simplified score in the western version, but I honestly found it to work out pretty well for the game. Obviously the Japanese version is superior, but I still enjoy it. If you’re a fan of RPGs and you haven’t played DQ XI, you’re missing out.

1-) Super Smash Brothers Ultimate: This was my most anticipated game of 2018 from the moment it was announced and the final product delivered everything that I had hoped it would. You have a large cast of characters, a crazy number of stages and a bunch of single player content to consume in between bouts of online or local multiplayer. The single player is what ranks this game so high for me. The classic mode - think arcade mode in standard fighters - is easily the best it has ever been. Each character has their own route with their own gimmick, which gives the player incentive to play each and every one. With a roster of over 70 fighters, that’s impressive. The adventure mode can start off slow, but once you get into the groove of it I really think it stands out as something special. It’s an expanded version of event battles from past games. You face off against a fighter (or fighters) embodying the personality of a character that isn’t in the game. They range from obscure stuff you haven’t heard of to a fight with Geno’s spirit that has you do battle with the cast of Super Mario RPG (with substitutes for Geno and Mallow). It feels very creative. It can be grindy for some, but I really enjoyed my time with it.

I think the online could be more fleshed out. I don’t experience as many laggy matches as most people, but even still the options online are fairly bare bones. You don’t even have leaderboards. I want to compare how good I am with how good my friends are! I think Nintendo plans to keep this game alive for the duration of the Switch’s lifespan, so I believe there will be plenty of time to get the online situation perfect. That doesn’t really excuse Nintendo from still not getting online even close to right in 2018, but I find Ultimate to be such a complete package that I can look past these shortcomings. Ultimately, it is my favorite entry in one of my favorite franchises. So it’s pretty easily my game of the year.

#Game of the year #game of 2018 #games of the year #Red Dead Redemption 2 #Dragon Ball FighterZ #Mario Tennis Aces #Mega Man 11 #Spider-Man #Celeste #Yakuza 6 #valkyria chronicles 4 #Dragon Quest XI #Super Smash Brothers Ultimate #opinion

[kelsevi]

mar 30

tiki/robin is real and they had a beautiful dragon daughter hi i haven't done pixel art (as of this piece’s creation) in a God Damn Long Time how've ya been

#fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #robin #robin (fire emblem) #tiki #morgan #morgan (fire emblem) #fe13 #2018 #mar18 #finished work

[teaandgames]

The Teacup Awards (2018)

So, the cruise liner of time has set sail and crashed into the iceberg of inevitability and with it has sunk the year of 2018. I would normally say something about what happened this year but in truth, it flashed by so fast that I can barely remember half of it. I checked my archive for this year and I swear I don’t remember the entire first quarter. But hey, at least we had a few gaming scandals to keep us going.

As usual, I’m going to be using games that I’ve reviewed this year, regardless of release date. I’m also adding a new award because it’s not like these things are physical. I could add in an award for best horse bollocks if I liked, as long as I could make a tea pun out of it. Red Dead 2 would win it, by the way.

The ‘Tea Up My Nose’ Award For Scariest Game

Runner up - Lust For Darkness

I had a lot of problems with Lust For Darkness but it deserves the runner up spot for taking the Lovecraft inspiration and running with it. It didn’t slow things down with investigations and chatter, but threw us head first into a cult. It quickly steps things up as it takes us on a wild ride through murderous orgies and otherworldly hellscapes. There’s little in the way of censorship here too, which adds to the fear factor. While the actual game part of Lust For Darkness is lacking, as an experience it delivers some definitely creepy notes.

Winner - SIMULACRA

I wasn’t expecting SIMULACRA to be quite as smooth as it is. When I saw the concept, I was expecting it to be little more than just a gimmick, which would be quickly dropped in favour of more traditional horror fare. I’m happy to say that I was entirely wrong on that front. SIMULACRA ends as it starts, with you sitting in your living room tapping on a phone screen. It goes to show the power of modern smartphones, in a way. You can influence other people’s lives without taking off your dressing gown.

Of course, in the case of SIMULACRA there’s something else that’s influencing you. Some mysterious force behind the screen that has done something, though you’re not entirely sure what, to the missing girl, Anna. This is the main source of fear for SIMULACRA, the knowledge that Anna’s disappearance may not be straight forward. At first, you’re worried that you’re talking to a murderer or kidnapper - and that you might be next - but by the end you’re worried about something much worse.

What helps is the decent writing when it comes to your two main conversation partners - Taylor and Greg. They are each very distinct from each other, while still talking like normal people. If you can ignore the fact that they continue talking to you even though you have a missing girl’s phone, that is. The plot unfolds naturally into a pretty damn creepy climax. In a year that didn’t really have a knock-out horror game, in my eyes, SIMULACRA really stood out for me.

The ‘Folded Corner’ Award For Best Writing

Runner Up - West of Loathing

I have a bad habit of thinking that serious writing can be the only form of ‘good’ writing, whatever that means, but West of Loathing has shaken that. Its writing is silly but genuinely funny, which is hard to convey with a game that has no voice acting. There were many moments where the writing caused me to burst into laughter. It’s one long stream of jokes, without dipping into obnoxiousness too often. For making me laugh, West of Loathing definitely deserves some commendation.

Winner - Pyre

I knew Pyre was going to win this award about halfway through playing it. The entire space-basketball gameplay is there to feed the writing, creating a story about characters banding together in a desperate attempt to free themselves. It’s a story about friendship growing through adversity, with the bittersweet knowledge that it’s all going to break to pieces by the end. Some people won’t be able to leave and, as the central figure of the group, it falls to us to make the hard decisions.

It’s especially hard because of how well written the other characters are. In fact, I don’t think there was a single character I actively disliked and it didn’t commit the sin of making the characters all lovey-dovey towards each other either. There’s quiet animosity in the group, mainly down to old rivalries, but they don’t let it get in the way of the big escape plan at the heart of it all. Some of the characters here have wings, others are strange wyrm things, but they’re all acting very human at the end of the day.

Which is more than just decent writing, it’s what ties the entire game together and the main reason why I like Pyre most out of Supergiant Games’ catalogue. The writing is more than just set dressing and that’s why I knew it would be winning this award, come what may.

The ‘Head Nod’ Award For Best Soundtrack

Runner up - Bastion

With three Supergiant Games’ titles this year, it was inevitable that one of them was going to end up in this section. Darren Korb has consistently knocked it out of the park with all of his OSTs, but I think it’s Bastion that sticks me with me the most. It’s the one I keep coming back to, with songs like Setting Sail, Coming Home being just as powerful in-game as out. Bastion was quite an emotionally charged game towards the end and I don’t think it would have quite the punch if it weren’t for the score.

Winner - Octopath Traveler

Slightly bending the rules here, as I haven’t really written about Octopath Traveler other than a casual mention, but when I saw it got snubbed at the game awards in favour of Red Dead 2, I had to speak up. Octopath’s score is phenomenal, bringing in a wide range of different instruments to make each location feel unique. Octopath has a fairly broad map, so you can appreciate the amount of effort that goes in.

My favourite song, by far, is the song for the Sunlands, the desert region. It captures the atmosphere perfectly and makes trekking across the desert a lot more fun. It’s bouncy and joyful. Compare that to the Frostlands song, which is a little more sombre but also beautiful, and the Highlands, which is a bit more regal. The songs go some way to capturing the spirit of the place. That’s just an opinion, of course, but having spent over a hundred hours in Octopath, they really began to feel homely.

The battle music is perhaps less appealing, if only because it’s heard so many times and often interrupts the superior location tracks. That said, the boss fight songs are fantastic and really get the blood pumping. As Octopath is stuffed to bursting with boss fights, that makes the overall package worth listening to.

The ‘Finest China’ Award For Best Looking Game

Runner Up - Pyre

I haven’t played many games this year that have looked particularly ‘arty’, which is why I’ve had to change this award. It took me quite a while to decide who would be the Runner Up but I settled on Pyre when I remembered the overworld. It looks almost like a rolling painting, with each part of the world being visually distinct. Couple that with the skeletal remains of the Titans everywhere and you have a landscape that is as haunting as it is beautiful. The bright, celestial basketball fields are just icing on a good looking cake.

Winner - A Hat in Time

I’m a self-confessed lover of Pixel Art, so normally this award would be going to be one of them. But when I booted up A Hat in Time for the first time, I was in love with how happy everything looked. The girl’s spaceship looks actually comfortable and homey. It’s not stuffed with gun-metal grey and flickering lights. It’s a nice place to me. Then, when she is sucked out of the window (don’t ask), she is dropped on to an equally happy planet.

A Hat in Time makes sure to use a wide range of colours in its worlds, from the bright blues of the mafia jackets to the deep purples used in the creepy woods level. My favourite level that, by the way, right down to the design of the main boss, who forces the young lass to sign a contract under pain of death. This strong design runs throughout, though the actual main boss is a girl with a mustache. You can decide for yourself if that’s good design or not.

Either way, the bright, cartoon like graphics combine well with the sense of innocent fun and made A Hat in Time really stand out against others in its genre.

The ‘Chiseled Chin’ Award For Best Action Game

Runner Up - Wolfenstein: The New Colossus

I have two strong memories of Wolfenstein: The New Colossus (which goes to show how bad my memory is, really). The first is the moment where it totally jumped the shark, and BJ was basically turned into an even more ripped Frankenstein's monster, and the second is several moments where I equipped double shotguns. It was a risky move, as I couldn’t really aim, but I could shred the entire room in front of me. The guns feel powerful and the enemies react appropriately. While there are a few problems with it, those double shotguns feel damn good to use.

Winner - Sniper Elite 4

Sniper Elite 4 was absolutely the surprise of the year for me. I had played Sniper Elite V2 and didn’t really enjoy it. The sniping was fun but I was repeatedly put into positions where I had to use my sidearms and they really weren’t satisfying. The AI was dumb and I gave up about halfway through. I went into Sniper Elite 4 expecting more of the same. Instead, I got giant levels to roam around in and a damn good sniper rifle.

The larger levels meant that I used my sniper rifle above everything else, as I could just hide in a bush and pick off half the nazis in the area. The kill cam made it all the sweeter, as I got to see my bullets eviscerating the insides of my chosen target. You’d think it would get old but it’s the perfect reward for a shot that’s taken you a good while to set up. Couple that with the fairly easy-to-learn stealth system, and you have a nice little action game.

It does fall back on the side-arms from time to time but that’s usually only when you’ve cocked up. Even then, it’s not too bad as the fairly low health means the sidearms are just to get some space. Spray and pray then run away. If you can ignore the fairly absent story and character writing, Sniper Elite 4 is a damned good action game and a definite high note for the series.

The ‘Properly Brewed’ Award For Best Revisited Game

Runner up - TimeShift

I was very down on TimeShift in my Revisited, for good reason, but I wanted to give it a spot here because it’s one of those games that has stuck in my mind. That central mechanic, the ability to stop, slow and rewind time, is a brilliant one. It’s used in a decent way in puzzles and it’s great fun in the combat. The shooting itself is a load of old cobblers but being able to stop time, shotgun blast your frozen enemies and then watch them all get launched away is good fun that will persist throughout time itself.

Winner - Mad Father

Mad Father was completely out of left field for me. The only game I’d played like it was a brief spell of Ib, which I did for the halloween week back in 2017. I was skeptical at first, not sure how a game like that could scare anyone, but I ended up enjoying my time with it. It seemed free from the usual conventions of horror games and was free to be as weird and freaky as it wanted. After that first taste, I went to one I knew people liked: Mad Father.

It too was pretty free from constraints, able to tell a fairly sickening story rather effectively. A little girl is rather rudely woken up by a bunch of corpses stumbling around the house and they seem to have it out for her dad. Which is understandable, given that her dad is a colossal nutcase, who’s going around cutting people open for his own ends. So when the house gets cursed, his victims are naturally going to have something to say about it.

The top down viewpoint means that Mad Father can’t really resort to jumpscares to get this across. There are a few of them, as is standard, but they don’t really hit home as much as a first person game would. Instead, we have to rely on the unsavoury storyline and setting, as well as the constant reminder of death, to set the scene. Mad Father is grotesque and a damned good example of the genre.

The ‘Unwanted Sugar’ Award For Biggest Disappointment

Runner up - Super Fancy Pants Adventure

A lot of games this year have had something disappointing about them. That is the nature of the medium after all, you’re not gonna please everyone. Super Fancy Pants Adventure, however, was a rarity in that the disappointment overshadowed the whole game. It had satisfying running physics but that’s about where the excitement ended. It was crushingly easy, with boring enemies, and ended abruptly with a ‘To be Continued’. A cheap, insulting way to end a product we’ve paid for.

Winner - Dead Rising 4

Oh boy. I went into Dead Rising 4 really not knowing what to expect. I had played a good chunk of the original Dead Rising and enjoyed my time with it. The reliance on escort quests is a bit of a negative factor but the killing of the zombies was fun and the whole game had a brutal sense to it. The zombies took a bit of work to kill, for one. I didn’t get that sense in Dead Rising 4; I got the sense that they were just big sacks of blood waiting to be burst.

The problem is that zombies can’t really carry a game by themselves. They are the eternal background characters, there to give the world a sense of destroyed humanity but without the personality to do anything more. You could, in this situation, reflect that back on your main characters. But Frank West is a wisecracking dickhead, so that doesn’t really work. Instead, they got around it by forcing us into chains of gunfights with generic thugs.

Couple that with the loss of the timer, Dead Rising’s key unique mechanic, and you have a fairly humdrum game. It even, somehow, uses too many zombies, something I didn’t realise was possible. But it uses them to absolutely fill it’s bare overworld, making running through the horde on the back of a combine harvester feel like the daily commute to work.

The ‘Rate Your Server’ Award For Best And Worst Developer

Best - Team Cherry

Hollow Knight was my game of the year last year for many good reasons. It being fun, for one. But it was also a fairly beefy game and the enjoyment came from discovering new things, as you grew stronger and expanded your arsenal. On top of this already expansive content base, Team Cherry committed to three free DLC packs. The first two came out in 2017, with another early on in 2018, and even then that wasn’t enough. They released a further update in March of this year. Again, for free.

Now this shouldn’t be the standard for developers. People have got to eat after all. But the fact that Team Cherry care enough about their game - and by extension the people playing it - that they will make four free content updates (one more than they originally announced) is heartening. Some people make games for profit but I feel like this was a passion project for Team Cherry. I think it’s time to move on from Hollow Knight now, but I’m excited for whatever they choose to do next.

Worst - Bethesda Softworks

Now I’ve not played Fallout 76. So this isn’t going to me talking about the mechanics or any sort of review elements, this is merely going to be about the launch. Which is one of the worst launches I’ve seen in a long, long time. The absolute nadir of the chaos was the fact that they leaked customer data via support tickets, which is one of the one of the worst things a company can do. Society seems to be moving towards a ‘Matrix-by-Proxy’ scenario, where we don’t need to be plugged in because all of ourselves is online anyway.

Giving that information away, therefore, is pretty reprehensive. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, of course, with the iceberg being full of nylon bags and re-used Skyrim code. For a big company like Bethesda to do this sort of thing is baffling; borderline insulting. It’s like they believe themselves to be a rich man throwing coins to the poor. Give them any old tat and refuse to apologise. It’s already bad enough that they’re building their games on a creaky old engine. For attitude alone, Bethesda deserves to be here.

The ‘Golden Teapot’ Award For Best Game

Runner Up - A Hat in Time

After being fairly disappointed in Yooka-Laylee last year, I was in the market for a decent 3D platformer. I had heard vaguely good things about A Hat in Time but it kind of passed me by until it came through a Humble Monthly Bundle. I went in not knowing what to expect and it absolutely blew me away. Right from the start, seeing an impossibly adorable little girl in a top hat bouncing around on a comfortable looking spaceship, I knew this was going to be a fun game. And it was, with a host of different worlds to explore.

I played through A Hat in Time with a big smile on my face. It’s not the hardest game in the world but it was one of the few games this year that I looked forward to playing while I was at work. Tight controls, with an actually responsive camera and some great graphics to go along with it. Multiple worlds, each thematically distinct - from a mafia-controlled town to acting in a train heist film. You never knew what it was going to do next. The Golden Teapot was incredibly tight this year and it only just missed out on the top spot.

Winner - Hand of Fate 2

When I was looking back through all of the games I played this year, I realised that there was one that really kept my attention from start to finish and that was Hand of Fate 2. I remember going to work and thinking about what my next move would be; how I would tackle challenges that I’d previously failed. If a game can exist outside of actually playing it, then you must be on to something. The thirty-seven hours i’ve got on it goes to show you something about it too.

I think the main attraction is down to the core mechanic. Blending together a card game with a dungeon crawler is pretty inspired, I don’t think it’s been done too often - at least not in this way. Card games have been blended with damn near everything at this point but Hand of Fate 2 has had some time to make sure it’s buttery smooth. The best decision was to have the dealer there facing you, insulting you while you play. Nothing makes me work harder than wanting to rub my success in the face of a diseased arsehole.

Combine that with a fairly sizeable amount of content, without devolving down into grind (much), and you’ve got yourself a great package. It has a few problems - the combat becoming fairly repetitive and an awful final boss amongst others - but that core mechanic gripped me so much. It adds the perfect element of RNG to the otherwise structured campaign, making each run through fresh. Which helps in a certain level that’s just down to chance. We’ll ignore that one.

As I said before, the Golden Teapot was hotly contested and this spot changed multiple times before I finally committed it to paper. Pyre was going to be here, but it can only win so many awards. Mario Odyssey was off in the corner of my eye too. But in the end, there was only one game that captured my attention so much. And that was Hand of Fate 2. A game from 2017. Whoops.

Well that’s another year done and dusted. I’ve already got my eye on some juicy games to play for 2019, so you can expect me to be sticking around. I hope you all had a good Christmas and New years. I’ll see you all next week when we get back to normality!

#Hand of Fate 2 #Pyre #Bastion #A Hat in Time #SIMULACRA #Lust For Darkness #team cherry #Bethesda #Dead Rising 4 #Super Fancy Pants Adventure #Mad Father #TimeShift #Article #Awards #New Years #Wolfenstein #Sniper Elite 4 #Octopath Traveler #West of Loathing #Teacup Awards #2018

[theglguidetowebcomics]

The Webcomic Graveyard

There are plenty of amazing comics on the internet, but for every good one there seems to be 3 abandoned ones. You never know when one of your favourite comics will be dropped or even simply deleted, and if you’ve read a few webcomics it’s probably happened to you a few times. But, even if unfinished they’re interesting in their own way. So, why not take a short look at some these dead webcomics?

Firstly, the biggest problem with unearthing abandoned comics is they’re quite difficult to find, especially if they’re from the 2000′s or even early 2010′s. Because if they’re old, abandoned and on the internet, the lists that featured them or even the comics themselves can be long gone in hosting archives or lost with the domain, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re dead comics. But if I’m trying to find those neon coloured wonky lined GL stories where Amazons hang out; Main characters abruptly die in flames while everyone gives up on the quest in act 1; or love interests fly around knocking out angsty protagonists with alien comets left right and centre… Digging up the remains of some of these is going to be a challenge.

But that being said, let’s have a look at some of the good, the bad, and the tragic of abandoned WLW webcomics. And let’s see if digging these up is as fun as I thought.

Roxie and the Magic Taco

Years: 2015 - 2017 Pages: 114 Reason: Unexplained

First of all, of course there’s a GL comic about a magic taco. Second of all, what a title. This comic is all kinds of weird. it’s art style is painfully 2000′s with the grey shading, gradient backgrounds, geometric yet empty landscapes, and pixelated line work. And this was presumably made in 2015. Everything about this feels and looks like a competent 2000′s comic (minus the furries), but by far the weirdest thing about this comic was that even if I read it twice a while ago, I had NO idea I had only ever read a third of it until a researched it for this list. It went on a small hiatus in the start of 2016 posting a small how it was made list instead of a page which sent you to another part of the website if you clicked on it, so there was a whole year after that update which I had never read because I kept getting stuck on that damn update page without knowing. So I finally go to finish act 1 of this comic after 3 years, and man, what a page to end on. This comic started out as a small yet surprisingly sweet romance between two characters. Princess a heavily sheltered model(?) who’s father controls her day by the minute, and has lived that way all her life except for the few minutes a day where she takes off all her femme apparel and is allowed to wander around due to a lenient body guard. Think a reverse Hannah Montana if Hannah Monatana was secretly a butchy punk lesbian. And Roxie the stuck in the dead end job for 4 years cashier, who works for an insane grandpa who talks to a “Magic Taco” and has a huge crush on the supermodel princess, well, at least her celebrity persona. And the characters are weirdly… interesting. The plot as batshit as it is is alright, there’s clear conflicts for the characters and the twist before the comic ended revealed the “magic taco” actually existing? There’s definitley a few cons to it too, the art is awkward at times, The backgrounds are weird, and there feels like there’s something missing in the story. But weirdly enough, I still kinda want to know what happens next. But with what comes next though act I wrapped up on the 23rd of April 2017 with a message saying it would update again in June the same year. It never did. No more updates. No hiatus notices. Just an empty Tumblr, Facebook page, and badly designed website. Apparently act 2 had already been written, so who knows the story behind that one. An orphaned series.

Amazoness!

Years: 2007 - 2010 Pages: unobtainable Reason: Unknown/unobtainable

Alright, we’ve finally come across a comic that’s domain has been deleted (most likely due to the bills on the domain not being paid for a few years) and subsequently has had it’s entire archive destroyed (bar a few blurry Jpegs floating around). So information about this one is going to have to rely on what I can remember from 5 years ago. So… Buckle up, let’s horribly stumble through this one! If Roxie and the Magic Taco felt like a little like 2000′s comic Amazoness! by comparison eat’s and breaths 2000′s. From the early anime influences, bold colours, and ms paint vibes coming from every pore (not that ms paint is inherently bad. More that i’s used particularly). And, I swear, every abandoned comic has a bizarre premise and plot. So what is the plot? Good question. I’m not entirely sure myself. Amazoness! is set in 559 BC in a fictional Amazonian empire. Think wonder woman but ms paint, a little anime, and a whole lot more lesbian. They live in a women only empire with a giant infamous army, and generally despise men, which makes finding husbands difficult, they’re also basically all lesbians, which  makes finding a husband very difficult. Enter the main character (Left in the panels provided), she’s small and weak compared to her Amazonian peers, which as the next Queen, is a bit of a problem. So she goes on adventures around the ancient world (and by world I mean Greece before being cancelled). It’s a fantasy story with a lot of the 2000′s brand humour, blandish characters, and weird plot. It’s as 2000′s as it gets. But it did have a lot of standout jokes including the dark brooding Amazonian who was originally an ancient goth accidentally starting modern goth fashion in ancient Greece. There was also possibly a trans character, but being the comic that it was, whether that was their gender or whether they were going to become a cross dresser butt of the joke character is up for debate. Considering it was 2007 I’m not the most optimistic about that bit. All in all though it was the standard 2000′s fantasy comedy genre with some nice jokes, a few starts to some promising romances, a few bludges on some touchy subject material, and pretty forgettable art. Who knew what this comic would have become, as a young teen I wanted to find out, but now it’s just another orphaned series, lost to time. This is not a series that’s sorely missed, But maybe foggily remembered. Oh well.

Mora and Stima Apei

Years: 2016 - 2017 Episodes: 27 (Including specials + QAs) Reasons: Hiatus. Moving, free time, and starting another comic

What’s this? A webcomic that doesn’t look like it wears baggy jeans, plays snake on a flip phone, and bedazzle tamagotchis in it’s spare time? And I was this close to have a theme here. But, no. Mora and Stima Apei isn’t from the 2000′s or even 2000′s themed. It’s very modern from its story telling, to its art, to the fact that the authors are qualified in relevant fields. And rather than being specifically abandoned it’s been publicly put on hiatus with a notice and reason why. It’s always nice when creators do that. Whether it will actually be completed story though is still anyone’s guess. It’s still a webcomic. The comic however is pretty interesting, the visuals are a little rough at the start but greatly improve later on. The characters are beautifully designed, the colours are thought out, the tone is pretty clear, and the monsters are dark and twisted. And I’m always up for dark and twisted monsters. Con wise though is it’s a little wordy and poetic at times. Which I do understand is a style choice here, but at the same time I very much in the show don’t tell camp with things like this. It doesn’t do that all the time though. Plot wise though the comic is pretty straight forward, a women wakes up, can’t remember who she is, has a rotten arm, a elf lady in the room, and a skull on her head. Why? We haven’t gotten to the why yet. The art later on is gorgeous, and the mystery is enticing. But there isn’t enough yet to get a grasp on how good it will be, it doesn’t use it’s time well. Its not a bad comic though, it’s mystery and art is very well done. But, still can’t tell what it’s going to be from what there is. On the other hand though their newer comic is still coming out (albeit in early pages) and is extremely well done with nice art, visual story telling, and an intriguing plot. So as long as they keep making comics like that, I don’t mind how long this stays on hiatus at all.

#Webcomics #comics #lgbt #Roxie and the magic taco #Amazoness! #Mora and Stima Apei

[hauntinghilarity]

(Prompted) Elderly Gods of the Furthest Ring

My first prompt I responded to! What progress.

[WP] The Elder Gods have awoken from their slumber, but instead of causing havoc and destroying the world, they become more focused on winning bingo, talking about the good old days, and complaining about all those young kids on their phones.

===============================

It had taken generations to come to this point. All the regents set, the sigil laid out meticulously throughout the layout of multiple cities. In unison branches of the organization were performing the exact same chant, choreographed to the absolute second, all in unison to the one that performed before to two Sovereigns of the cult.

Their ancestors had tasted the madness of their gods in their dreams and, in a fevered fit unknown to any at that time, had spread images of their cosmic masters throughout cave systems. Drawn in the blood and filth produced from the violent slaughtering of their nearest ally. Painting made with gentle detail, images that would inspire the many that would come after to lead to the two who stood atop the mountain, staring up to the center of the milky way with their arms outstretched.

They, like those before them who looked to those who came before that through the ever so gently hidden collection of art and writing. From the beginnings of horror to the inspiration for all weird fiction to come. Gently and slowly weaving through humanity without them ever realizing it. Inspiring and culling as needed without its original task masters needing to life a single finger to keep the momentum.

entire cultures had been swallowed up in their festering, maddening need to understand all their ancestors left behind. Continually adding upon the failures and successes until they all came to this moment. even gaining regents like the word had never seen through the failed attempts to summon their lords before, only to be given sad imitations and wishes that at its times were seen as the true gods themselves. Ignorance and closed minds had nearly kept this moment from happening for possibly another millennia, but as the light deep within the depth of the universe began to glow, as the entire spiraling disc itself began to gently swivel its way much like an eye finding its point of focus, they knew they were close.

Their fingers were scraping against the knocker to their many gods’ door.

As the omnipotent light glaring from the center of what had been assumed to be our home galaxy centered its focus on every confused and concern soul on the tiny little Earth, the artificial light from every city extinguished, casting the entire half of the Earth facing towards the center of our galaxy into darkness. As if urged by an unseen command, the moon slid its way into the light of the sun. An eclipse that defied all knowledge of the lunar phase forced itself upon the world at this moment.

Any whose skies had a direct view of the galaxy were forced to see it. Shining brighter than the sun they had been accustomed to. Even the massive behemoths that made the sun look like a pixel couldn't light the sky the way the Milky Way now did.

The weight of this presence warped the light itself, or perhaps the magnetic field had been merely to allow such an event to happen, as every sky across the world no matter the location saw this eye before them. The masses purposefully kept from the knowledge the cult had been gifted from the birth of inventive thought were forced to understand and accept in the same fleeting moment.

The eye leveled itself, it searched the darkened planet, igniting the skies with enough splendor to magnify and mystify, yet was gentle enough not to harm the eye. Precise enough to only damage the mind. The weak-willed and battered-broken crumbled into the madness they had done their best to wall themselves into, yet they couldn't even tear their eyes from the skies to riot nor cry. Even as they crumbled, their heads would rather snap its own neck than allow its focus be taken from the god they now were forced to give every moment of focus.

Those who truly held the strength to resist the madness, as well those who had long since used it as both a shield and sword against all that caused it, were still powerless to do anymore than stare up to the heavens and hope that whatever this pupil and iris belonged to was benevolent.

The world shook as a voice creaked through every mind. One that forced a feeling of familiarity into their souls. Feelings they could not tell from their own memories, feelings of childhood and paternal love. Of paternal rage. All the disappointment, love, hate, fear, and horror a parent could ever feel for or force upon a child shoved upon every festering, throbbing mind that had the dishonor of witnessing this event. Forced to hear as a sea of voices bickered their way into their understanding.

Starting with a cacophony of cognitive overload that counted as a yawn. A series of noises that forced the worst of any headache ever experienced to tear through their mind with every fluctuation and flutter. The pain began to less as, like a radio tuning in from static, a voice every soul could understand regardless of language, lexicon, or intelligence.

Words their body seemed to accept and understand with the same certainty it took in air. These words were as much facts and notions of the universe as the atoms and quarks.

"...ck is calling this number?! WHO even gave you this number?! Do you know what time it is? What we have planned tomorrow?!"

A voice that somehow they were aware was not as close as the voice they knew and accepted wholeheartedly as being owned by the sky spanning galaxy eye that took in every one of them at what. It was not looking at them, but they could sense the disappointment in every one of them as if they were all these beings grandchildren. Something seemingly far greater.

"Tell them about that catty cheater Nyar fixing bingo!"

The other voice snapped back, only to suddenly speak in a more delighted tone. Every soul on the planet suddenly felt mildly happy. Like their racist, bigoted grandparents had finally accepted your multiracial activist partner of the same gender.

"Oh they don't care about that nonsense Az. This isn't th-Wait.. Wait turn your damn music down.. I don't care if it 'calms you' TURN IT DOWN SO THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE UNIVERSE CAN THINK FOR FIVE YOU-BE-DAMNED ASTRAL CYCLES! I think.. Hold on. They are so far away, where are they... Ah."

To everyone baited soul's confusion, it looked like something moved over the eye. to their absolute unified delighted horror, the galaxy came into focus. The swirling nebulous colors that they knew and accepted as stars and systems now looked more like the ever-churning colors and pits of a massive nebulous eye. "IT IS!"

"Who?"

"EARTH!"

"Beth? Well tell them to call back at a reasonable hour!"

"NO! The humans!"

"NO!... WHY HAVEN'T THEY CALLED?!"

"I don't... Just..Wait calm down and just eat those things coming out of you. You know that relaxes you. Turn the music up a little, it doesn't have to be that quiet...EARTH! Do you even KNOW how long it has been since we last made contact?! Do you know how worried sick we have been?! Not even a message, a proper sacrifice. Have to listen to this one-eyed lunatic about ALL the human souls THEY apparently have and what do we get?! A message? A CALL!?"

The true horror of the situation hit the Earth, as one by one a billion souls screamed out as the were treated to a guilt-ridden light they could not hope to flee from. Introduced into the maddening revelation of a new, concerned dark age. That just wants you to call a bit more. Even a letter or something, they simply what to know what you are up to.

#writing #fiction #horror #lovecraft #humor #horror humor #elder gods #old ones #oooooold ones #cranky ones #nyarlethotep cheats at bingo

[pendingoomething]

The Webcomic Graveyard

There are plenty of amazing comics on the internet, but for every good one there seems to be 3 abandoned ones. You never know when one of your favourite comics will be dropped or even simply deleted, and if you’ve read a few webcomics it’s probably happened to you a few times. But, even if unfinished they’re interesting in their own way. So, why not take a short look at some these dead webcomics? 

Firstly, the biggest problem with unearthing abandoned comics is they’re quite difficult to find, especially if they’re from the 2000′s or even early 2010′s. Because if they’re old, abandoned and on the internet, the lists that featured them or even the comics themselves can be long gone in hosting archives or lost with the domain, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re dead comics. But if I’m trying to find those neon coloured wonky lined GL stories where Amazons hang out; Main characters abruptly die in flames while everyone gives up on the quest in act 1; or love interests fly around knocking out angsty protagonists with alien comets left right and centre... Digging up the remains of some of these is going to be a challenge. 

But that being said, let’s have a look at some of the good, the bad, and the tragic of abandoned WLW webcomics. And let’s see if digging these up is as fun as I thought.

Roxie and the Magic Taco

Years: 2015 - 2017 Pages: 114 Reason: Unexplained

First of all, of course there’s a GL comic about a magic taco. Second of all, what a title. This comic is all kinds of weird. it’s art style is painfully 2000′s with the grey shading, gradient backgrounds, geometric yet empty landscapes, and pixelated line work. And this was presumably made in 2015. Everything about this feels and looks like a competent 2000′s comic (minus the furries), but by far the weirdest thing about this comic was that even if I read it twice a while ago, I had NO idea I had only ever read a third of it until a researched it for this list. It went on a small hiatus in the start of 2016 posting a small how it was made list instead of a page which sent you to another part of the website if you clicked on it, so there was a whole year after that update which I had never read because I kept getting stuck on that damn update page without knowing. So I finally go to finish act 1 of this comic after 3 years, and man, what a page to end on.  This comic started out as a small yet surprisingly sweet romance between two characters. Princess a heavily sheltered model(?) who’s father controls her day by the minute, and has lived that way all her life except for the few minutes a day where she takes off all her femme apparel and is allowed to wander around due to a lenient body guard. Think a reverse Hannah Montana if Hannah Monatana was secretly a butchy punk lesbian. And Roxie the stuck in the dead end job for 4 years cashier, who works for an insane grandpa who talks to a “Magic Taco” and has a huge crush on the supermodel princess, well, at least her celebrity persona. And the characters are weirdly... interesting. The plot as batshit as it is is alright, there’s clear conflicts for the characters and the twist before the comic ended revealed the “magic taco” actually existing? There’s definitley a few cons to it too, the art is awkward at times, The backgrounds are weird, and there feels like there’s something missing in the story. But weirdly enough, I still kinda want to know what happens next.  But with what comes next though act I wrapped up on the 23rd of April 2017 with a message saying it would update again in June the same year. It never did. No more updates. No hiatus notices. Just an empty Tumblr, Facebook page, and badly designed website. Apparently act 2 had already been written, so who knows the story behind that one. An orphaned series.

Amazoness!

Years: 2007 - 2010 Pages: unobtainable Reason: Unknown/unobtainable

Alright, we’ve finally come across a comic that’s domain has been deleted (most likely due to the bills on the domain not being paid for a few years) and subsequently has had it’s entire archive destroyed (bar a few blurry Jpegs floating around). So information about this one is going to have to rely on what I can remember from 5 years ago. So... Buckle up, let’s horribly stumble through this one! If Roxie and the Magic Taco felt like a little like 2000′s comic Amazoness! by comparison eat’s and breaths 2000′s. From the early anime influences, bold colours, and ms paint vibes coming from every pore (not that ms paint is inherently bad. More that i’s used particularly). And, I swear, every abandoned comic has a bizarre premise and plot. So what is the plot? Good question. I’m not entirely sure myself.  Amazoness! is set in 559 BC in a fictional Amazonian empire. Think wonder woman but ms paint, a little anime, and a whole lot more lesbian. They live in a women only empire with a giant infamous army, and generally despise men, which makes finding husbands difficult, they’re also basically all lesbians, which  makes finding a husband very difficult. Enter the main character (Left in the panels provided), she’s small and weak compared to her Amazonian peers, which as the next Queen, is a bit of a problem. So she goes on adventures around the ancient world (and by world I mean Greece before being cancelled). It’s a fantasy story with a lot of the 2000′s brand humour, blandish characters, and weird plot. It’s as 2000′s as it gets. But it did have a lot of standout jokes including the dark brooding Amazonian who was originally an ancient goth accidentally starting modern goth fashion in ancient Greece. There was also possibly a trans character, but being the comic that it was, whether that was their gender or whether they were going to become a cross dresser butt of the joke character is up for debate. Considering it was 2007 I’m not the most optimistic about that bit.  All in all though it was the standard 2000′s fantasy comedy genre with some nice jokes, a few starts to some promising romances, a few bludges on some touchy subject material, and pretty forgettable art. Who knew what this comic would have become, as a young teen I wanted to find out, but now it’s just another orphaned series, lost to time. This is not a series that’s sorely missed, But maybe foggily remembered. Oh well. 

Mora and Stima Apei

Years: 2016 - 2017 Episodes: 27 (Including specials + QAs) Reasons: Hiatus. Moving, free time, and starting another comic

What’s this? A webcomic that doesn’t look like it wears baggy jeans, plays snake on a flip phone, and bedazzle tamagotchis in it’s spare time? And I was this close to have a theme here.  But, no. Mora and Stima Apei isn’t from the 2000′s or even 2000′s themed. It’s very modern from its story telling, to its art, to the fact that the authors are qualified in relevant fields. And rather than being specifically abandoned it’s been publicly put on hiatus with a notice and reason why. It’s always nice when creators do that. Whether it will actually be completed story though is still anyone’s guess. It’s still a webcomic.  The comic however is pretty interesting, the visuals are a little rough at the start but greatly improve later on. The characters are beautifully designed, the colours are thought out, the tone is pretty clear, and the monsters are dark and twisted. And I’m always up for dark and twisted monsters. Con wise though is it’s a little wordy and poetic at times. Which I do understand is a style choice here, but at the same time I very much in the show don’t tell camp with things like this. It doesn’t do that all the time though.  Plot wise though the comic is pretty straight forward, a women wakes up, can’t remember who she is, has a rotten arm, a elf lady in the room, and a skull on her head. Why?  We haven’t gotten to the why yet.  The art later on is gorgeous, and the mystery is enticing. But there isn’t enough yet to get a grasp on how good it will be, it doesn’t use it’s time well. Its not a bad comic though, it’s mystery and art is very well done. But, still can’t tell what it’s going to be from what there is.  On the other hand though their newer comic is still coming out (albeit in early pages) and is extremely well done with nice art, visual story telling, and an intriguing plot.  So as long as they keep making comics like that, I don’t mind how long this stays on hiatus at all. 

#webcomics #comics #lgbt #lesbian #abandoned comics

[uniformbravo]

im shit tired but i wanna talk abt this thing

yesterday was my super special oc day may 16th where i challenge myself to draw/paint a portrait of silan start to finish on the day of, and out of all five years i’ve attempted this i’ve only successfully done it once, which was the first year, and actually now that i fucking think about it i remember that first year posting the art the day after because i couldn’t actually finish it in one day so that means i’ve never successfully completed it, i’ve always either taken more time or just not finished it & it’s become a real issue i’ll tell u what

anyway my point is im thinking of “”officially”” extending the time for these portraits because enough is enough and i want to actually finish these fucking things & not feel like a dumbass for not being able to paint a portrait with a fuckshit of flowers in it in 1 single day

so i might make it the week of may 16th, because that will not only give me more time but also give me more flexibility bc if i remember correctly last year was a disaster bc i had like 20 million things due at the same time & instead of scrambling to get it all done on time like a responsible student i threw it all out the window to work on this damn portrait on the day of may 16th & i didn’t even end up finishing it that year sooo giving myself a whole week might fix that

i mean like. it’s a rly nice thought to spend the day drawing my oc in celebration of his special day and have the whole project contained within that day but obviously im not actually capable of pulling it off (and im literally becoming less capable as the years pass) so frankly i’d be a dumbass for not giving myself more time to work on it from now on 

so a week sounds more doable, and maybe not even the week of may 16th, but the week leading up to it? like if it’s on a wednesday then start the wednesday before, so that it can build up to smth, idk? for the last 3 years (including this one) i’ve recorded my process with the intent to make it into an annual speedpaint thing but i only posted the one for 2016 so far because i didn’t finish 2017 and 2018 is happening rn so. i kinda like the idea of having the video/artwork ready to post on the 16th so that it’s all timely n shit so giving myself the whole week before that to prepare seems. good

the other thing that makes the week idea okay is my issue with finishing the project in a timely manner because these portraits, being a yearly deal, are supposed to kind of document my improvement through the years and if i let myself work on them too long then it won’t really be a snapshot of my skill right at that time. the reason i haven’t finished ones in the past is because i waited too long to work on it again & it started stretching out into month territory which still isn’t that long but it’s like. way longer than what i was shooting for, which was a day. so the week is still short enough to fill that need while also being long enough to be realistically achievable and that’s all that matters

so yeah! i’ve been working on this year’s portrait & it’s going pretty well i think! i’m doing it in clip studio paint for the first time which is a little weird because i’ve never actually finished anything i started in that program and im super shaky on painting in it but it’s a learning experience i guess. yesterday i came up w/ the sketch and colors and started painting in details but since i’m not used to painting i changed a lot of things from the original sketch & when i came in to work on it today i decided i liked the sketch way better and basically started over on the painting part so that’s. cool. but i am liking it so much more now so it’s worth it

the reason i’m so shaky w/ painting tho is because i never do it?? and that was something i really debated with myself before i started working on this year’s portrait, because it’s meant to be a snapshot of the current state of my art, right? but lately all the digital art i’ve been doing is pixels so i really considered doing the portrait in mspaint?? i still kind of feel like i should have for the sake of accuracy and i’m sure it would have provided some variety in the lineup but like, idk. the original criteria when i started this series in 2014 stated that it had to be a digital painting & the only year i deviated from that was in 2016 when i couldn’t do any digital art so i did it traditionally instead

but then doesn’t that kind of set the precedent??? or change it or whatever. that portrait was different because of outside circumstances of my life, so when i see it i’m like “oh yeah that was when i had to stop drawing for like 8 months that was bullshit” it just kind of. captured a moment in my life. so if i had done an mspaint portrait this year i could’ve been like “oh yeah that was back when i was doing a shit ton of pixel art at the time” like?? that’s what i’m doing in my art right now so shouldn’t the portrait reflect that?? idk

anyway it’s too late now bc i’m already working on the digital painting in csp & it’s coming along great kind of. also i just thought about trying to draw a bunch of flowers in mspaint & decided i’m glad i didn’t go that route lmaooo

anyway im tired i just wanted to talk abt the Thing a little to like, idk acknowledge that it’s happening?? may 16th happened again & im drawing silan again woo

#snore am i right. imi going to beed goodnight #retag later #talkin bout stuff

[jabberfish]

Feelings of the past year (ignore)

I forgot how happy drawing makes me.

I’ve been in a constant state of laziness for the past year. I’ve lost all motivation and passion to pursue my dreams. Every day I’m tormented by the thoughts that I should be working, should be drawing, should be getting things done. There are so many things I want to do, to learn, to try. I want to do so much. But I don’t. I cannot find it in myself to get out of bed away from the computer to do anything. And then I get depressed.

 And I hate myself. 

ANd I HAte MySelf.

I just freaking hate myself so much.

I just want to do things. But I don’t. It’s stupid. I hate it. Especially me who won’t FREAKING DO ANYTHING. My mind is brimming with ideas of things I want to do. But I just... don’t. I do some things. I go to work. I shower. And I feed myself like... once a day. But when I’m not doing those things, I’m in my bed, on my computer trying to drown away the self hating thoughts that plague my mind. My family keeps reminding me that I should be drawing, getting things done, working on my portfolio. They see me and my lazy ass doing nothing, and get disappointed. I think they believe that I don’t even think of drawing. When in fact it haunts my every waking thought. 

It’s tormenting. 

I hate it.

It was worse when I didn’t have a job and lived with my dad. I couldn’t drive, so I was always home and had no way to leave. I would dread when my dad would come home from work and ask me “What’d you do today?” And I would answer the same as I had every day that week, “Nothing.” And he’d scoff, “Of course.” And you could hear the disappointment. It was such a small thing. A short conversation. It didn’t mean much. But it built up. Everyday for two months. The same thing. Everyday. And I just hated myself. I didn’t do anything. I’m just so lazy. And I broke. And I cried for like two weeks straight. Little things would make me cry. I didn’t want to leave my room much. Every night before I fell asleep I would imagine myself being impaled by swords. Weird right? I imagined the weight of each sword as it stabbed my back before I eventually fell asleep. I couldn’t get a job in that town. Too small, and I didn’t have a drivers license. Eventually I went on a trip to visit my mom in Italy. Sounds fun right? Nope. I was as trapped there as I was at my dad’s. No way to leave. No place to go. No one to talk to. And I never did anything. 

I got my license and moved to my Aunt’s house in a bigger town and got a job. Not a job in my field but a minimum wage job. It was great. I had a job, I was getting fed, I started going to the gym. And after a month I realized I hadn’t thought “I hate myself” in a while. I hadn’t imagined myself getting impaled before falling asleep. I started doodling things. Nothing impressive, just doodles. And I freaking cried tears of joy. Nothing dramatic, just a couple tears and some sniffles. I was doing better. I was happy.

One Night I was doodling at the kitchen table on a crappy piece of paper and my Aunt looks at it and goes, “Why are you drawing that when you should be drawing things for your portfolio?” It was an honest question. Innocent. I broke again. All my hate and sadness just crashes into me like a freaking tsunami. I’m left there thinking, “But, I was doing better. I was drawing. I was doing things. I was feeling good.” Long story short, it took me a week to recover. 

Anyways. I have a new job now working at a restaurant. My hours aren’t as regular, I don’t get fed as often, and I haven’t been able to go to the gym. I do get paid more so that’s good. But the feelings are coming back. I noticed that the callus I have on my finger has nearly vanished. I’ve had that callus my whole life. Because I used to draw so much, everyday. And now it’s nearly gone. 

I don’t think I have depression. I know people with depression and they do more than I do. I’m just lazy. ANd I know that the only one who can help me is me. And I know this is all my fault. Literally the only thing in the way of my dreams is me. I know. I’m sorry for being so melodramatic. This is stupid. This is why you don’t share feelings. Especially on the internet.

OH MY GOD THE ONLY REASON WHY I STARTED THIS POST IS BECAUSE I WANTED TO SHARE THIS LITTLE GIF I MADE. AND HOW HAPPY IT MADE ME FEEL. AND THE RUSH I FELT GETTING IT DONE. AND THE FEELING OF MY HEART BEATING FINISHING IT. AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY I FORGOT HOW HAPPY DRAWING MADE ME FEEL. I was starting to think that I never even liked drawing, but every time I complete a shitty little doodle I get so happy so wtf. 

LOOK AT THIS LITTLE DUDE. I LOVE IT. AND IT ISN’T EVEN ANYTHING IMPRESSIVE. BUT HE’S BEEN SITTING IN MY BRAIN FOR A GOD DAMN YEAR AS THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR A VIDEO GAME I’LL NEVER MAKE. AND I WAS JUST SO HAPPY I FREAKING LEARNED HOW TO DO PIXEL ART AND MAKE A GIF FOR THIS LITTLE SHIT. 

I hope I get some more shit done tomorrow but I know I won’t, because I draw something like once a month. BUT BOOM THERE IT IS. 

I’m sorry for this post. I didn’t want to say so much but I kind of did. And I’ll probably delete this in shame in the future. But if I don’t then, whatever. I have to go to bed. I have work in a few hours but I got really excited about this gif.

#long post #personal #feelings #this is like the first time I've shared my feelings with anything. #May this post be lost in the void

[juniorkaiju-blog]

Refining Short-Term Goals and Focus

It’s been quite a few weeks since I’ve been able to put together another post. When you have a full-time job, a family, and lots of regular responsibilities that comes with both, your time gets eaten up pretty quickly. This sounds like an excuse, but it seems to be one of many reasons why a lot of independent developers collaborate and form small teams - which is something I’d like to do one day, once I’ve honed my skills in digital art and programming. It’s become increasingly important to me to make the time for things I haven’t been previously. For so long, I’ve treated work like some sort of marathon that wipes me out by the time I leave the office to when I get home; being too tired to do anything else that requires even the smallest bit of effort. Because of all this, I’ve grown an understanding of my need to list things out and tackle them one at a time, making progress if nothing but in small chunks.

I thought I should take some time to define some short-term goals of mine.

1.) Finish a program that functions and has animated sprites.

2.) Draw a variety of pixel-art assets to use later on bigger projects.

3.) Stay focused on goals 1 & 2, and chip away at them whenever I have free time.

4.) Tinker with the tools I already own.

I’m going to start breaking this down with number 4, because it sets the tone for the others.

Tinkering with things is something I used to do all the time when I was a kid, especially with game creation tools and art. Somewhere over the years I stopped doing this naturally and forgot about this crucial concept altogether. Perhaps the fact that it became a conscious “concept” at all that speaks to what went wrong. I remember in college being exposed to the idea of existentialism - among other philosophies - and grew obsessed with it. This specific philosophy would permeate through my artwork, song-writing, and every other aspect of my life in the years that followed. My obsession grew to a point where I would always weigh the time something would take with my desire to do something - anything - and oddly I would spend more time doing nothing than I ever had before. I reached a point where normal adult responsibilities would overtake everything I could be doing, leaving room for nothing else. 

When I wasn’t worried about my responsibilities, I was wasting time debating whether or not it would be worth my time to do things like play a game or watch a movie vs. sketching, making music, or tinkering with a creative program that I’d paid for; because none of the latter would yield immediate results nor build up to something I felt I could use professionally. This is a terrible way of thinking, and led to a life of dissatisfaction. It has also led to a serious imbalance in my life, which was once full of unadulterated creativity toward any medium. Tinkering is an important part of creativity. It’s a willingness to throw oneself into an abyss of the unknown without worrying oneself with coming out with a product. The reality is that learning something is the end product of tinkering. 

For years I’d only gone into art and design projects seeking an end result that would be marketable. I only wanted to sell the things I created, and only created in the hopes of selling those things. Don’t do this, it’s bullshit. There is a time and place for selling oneself or one’s work, but not everything needs to be sellable. 

I had blocked myself off from personal growth and was only seeing my value in the form of likes on a social media post and dollar signs on completed projects. I felt pretty gross when I realized this. I wasted my post-college 20s theorizing, invalidating myself, wasting time, and then being frustrated by not making money doing something I once loved. All of this was a result of letting my love for tinkering dissipate. I lost any creative direction I once had.

Creating is important to me. It’s something I feel I should always be doing. Tinkering with various tools at the tips of my fingers - and not becoming gluttonous in expanding those tools infinitely - it’s a great place to start (even though it’s number 4 on my list).

With this little bit of context and backdrop, I think the importance of numbers 1 & 2 should now make more sense. I’m here, writing this journal, because I want to create games. That’s my long-term plan. I know making full-fledged games takes a long time, especially when starting out as a hobby. I’ve read countless accounts of people trying to shoot for the stars right away, falling flat on their faces. Start small, everyone says. Build something that functions, but not necessarily something that looks like a game (I got this bit of information from Unity’s pre-tutorial video, paraphrased of course).

I need to make something that functions. I need to finish something small. Even this is probably going to take a while. I have neither the time nor brain of my 12-year-old self. I’m also much more stubborn now, and when I struggle with something I don’t understand immediately, I often quit out of frustration. Not giving up should be one of my goals, actually. 

List number 2 is something I shouldn’t have any problem with; as an artist, I find myself perpetually drawn to - well - drawing. Pixel art is pretty new to me, because devoting myself to working on art at a computer is new to me. It’s something that was defined as its own field while I was in school: “Digital Media,” “Digital Illustration,” etc. It was kept separate from “traditional” art, which is frustrating to me now, looking back, and seeing now how integrated the two have become in today’s world. I decided to put all of my focus on traditional art in school, and regretted it ever since. But I’ve slowly been dabbling with animation and pixel art thanks to Aseprite, which makes it incredibly fluid and easy to practice, especially if one is already pretty well versed in Adobe’s creative programs.

The challenge for me here, similar to number 1, is sticking to it. Making a bunch of objects, characters, backgrounds and foregrounds; hoping to use these in future projects. This is why number 3 exists. Staying focused. Why is it so damn difficult for me to stay focused?

We live in a world of distractions. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t fight it anymore, nor do I want to - out of fear of becoming irrelevant or turning into one of those crotchety old luddites that pisses everyone off, because they push against technology like a baby that stubbornly closes their mouth every time their parents try to feed them. 

It’s hard to not be distracted by the beauty of the work other people are doing. Rather than being inspired by it and using it as a platform to aid my own work, I often let it discourage me. I see someone has done a thing and think, “I’ll never be that good.” And I continue to not be as good because I sulk about it rather than learn from it, or be inspired by it. It’s cool that we live in a world where so many people are creative and want to work in creative industries. Art brings people joy, amongst other things, and that’s been my mission statement this whole time. 

Staying focused on the tasks at hand is pretty important to me. Feeling encouraged by the work and world around me is something I desperately need to work on. I want to be a better artist for my own sake. I want to enjoy what I do, and I want to enjoy the process of getting there. 

Thanks for reading,

 Love always,

Ben/junior kaiju

#junior kaiju #devlog #introduction #game development #video games #life change #self help #gaming community