#I’m not sure what to say

[eureka-its-zico]

I’m sorry I’ve been m.i.a as of late.

A very close friend of mine that I’ve known since 2015, who I met on tumblr, recently passed away after being diagnosed with cancer. She was such a major part of this blog when I first started writing again. Our friendship started all because she asked me to write her some Tabi smut and, like magic, we became such wonderful friends. I’ve created other works on here that are hard to look at; hard to notice. Suddenly I See You was something she loved and asked me dozens of times to please finish it. Even the week before she passed away. It’s silly, but such a large part of me feels guilty for not indulging her in something she loved one last time. In writing her an Astarion one shot to bring her happiness in moments when she could’ve used it.

The world is such a dimmer place without a soul like hers in it.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to be a person not hollowed out by grief, but I’ve learned grief is a process. That there is no balm that can easily be placed over the pain of losing someone who was such an important part of shaping who you are as a person.

All I ask is that you please bear with me. I know a lot of you have been waiting and I apologize.

#jenn speaks #I’m not sure what to say #getting on here is very hard right now like getting on insta #her icons pop up or knowing I didn’t do one last thing for her splits me in two #I wish everyone had a chance to know her #she was such a genuine and lovely soul and I miss her beyond comprehension

[arsonandhockey]

Do you ever just like have an idea

#hockey #art #my art tag #I’m not sure what to say #sometimes someone says something and this happens #letterkenny

[shittysawtraps]

everything is like a saw trap. except saw traps. those are like sex.

#shitty saw traps #saw franchise #mod amanda #listen I’m not even sure what this one means #I’m just saying shit

[knifearo]

ppl are so quick to modify and soften and put qualifiers on aromantic people’s statements. i’ll say “love loses” and here come seven thousand people in the notes going “funny joke but love is good actually!” “romantic love loses but not platonic love platonic love is great!” “but platonic love is still good though…” no actually i said what i meant the first fucking time. is it so hard to let someone just say something ever

#this is not just about the love loses joke specifically but it is the one that i get the most often and it does piss me off #anyway. you guys know what i’m talking about i’m sure. #aromantic people will say anything and here come seven thousand assholes to play semantics. shut uppp you know what the fuck i meant #talking #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace

[rendevok]

“Take my hand” a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023

day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4

#nmweek23 #narumitsu #wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #probably more accurate to say this is mnm? or nmn or whatever lol #so treat the ship name lightly and dont get mad when miles [redacted redacted redacted redacted] yknow? #i wouldnt spoil it wheres the fun in that ¬‿¬ #fan art #fan comic #aa #rendevok #this is like. vaguely aa5 and on because i couldnt be assed to play those games yet #love their waistcoats tho YUM #also future warning i still suck at writing so if this is ooc! i’m sorry idk what im doing but i sure am doing it bb #i’ll update this post with links to the others as i post them! you’re in for about 30 pages so ♡ ♡ ♡ hope you have an appetite for sweets #(i say as if i didnt just post angst) IT WAS THE PROMPTS. THE PROMPTS MADE ME DO IT

[sabertoothwalrus]

so I’ve been gaining a lot of insight into the animation industry recently, especially in regards to pitching & the creation of new shows. There’s a few ways to go about it.

First, there’s pitching to a studio. When you pitch, it has to be SHORT and CONCISE. You may write a lovingly detailed pitch bible that perfectly breaks down episodes and characterizations, and it might barely even get read. First impressions, first impressions, first impressions!

Most peoples’ first projects don’t get picked up. I’ve heard a few stories from directors that said they tried pitching a story they’d had for years, which got rejected, to then spend a week or even several hours in their car coming up with a new idea, only for that to get greenlit.

But that’s not the end of it. Just because a show gets greenlit, doesn’t mean it will ever get finished. There’s lots of things that can happen. Sometimes, unexpected major world events (like… a global pandemic) can cause projects to get chopped. Sometimes, a CEO change or studio merge means a single person can decide a project “no longer fits with the company’s brand.” Sometimes, the one producer that was rooting for your project gets laid off, and no one else cares enough, so it gets shelved. Sometimes, a streaming service decides to create an animation department, and then they decide they don’t want it anymore. Sometimes, the studio will be simultaneously be developing another project that was too similar to yours and they just didn’t think to tell you until they decide yours is the one with less potential.

On top of that, almost everyone in the industry is saying that “studios just don’t pick up original content anymore.” Studios want something they can franchise, something that will bring in money. New content is risky. Established fanbases are safer.

However! Studios can still be a very good thing. They can be unionized. They can provide better benefits and resources. They can have connections and infrastructure and a larger volume of workers. At a studio, you can divide the labor and produce more in less time. Longer episodes, longer seasons, more consistency in quality.

But this comes with all of the disadvantages of having more in the kitchen.

The alternative is indie animation.

With indie animation, you have total freedom. Full artistic control. It doesn’t even matter if your idea sucks ass, because there’s no one to tell you you can’t make it. You could make it anyway, and you can make it whatever you wanted.

The thing is, making animation is hard. In my production class last semester, the average maximum animation one person could make in that timeframe was 30-60 seconds, and that’s not even counting background design, sound design, or cleanup/color. To make a 5 minute animated short, you should probably have at least 5 people.

And it is CRUCIAL you have a production manager. Ideally someone who’s not already doing art for the project. Most projects without a production manager will fall apart pretty quickly. Once the adrenaline and impulse-fueled motivation wears off, you need someone to hold you accountable and enforce deadlines and proper time management.

Speaking of time, that’s also hard to get. The more people you have, the more likely schedules won’t line up. Most people will have school, or other jobs.

And it costs MONEY!!!!!! You either have everyone work for free and volunteer their time & energy, or you establish a business as a proper indie studio, with people who may or may not have experience on how to handle paying someone else’s salary. And the money has to come from somewhere, so you have to rely on crowdfunding like patreon or kickstarter. (This, by the way, is why I could never fault an indie animation for releasing merch with their pilot.)

And like, maybe you wanna do a series, and all your friends agree to volunteer their labor and time to make the first episode, but it was unanimously not sustainable. Deciding not to produce a second episode until you can raise enough money is not being suddenly greedy, it’s attempting to compensate people rather than expecting them to be continuously taken advantage of.

You have to consider your output as well. There are some outliers like Worthikids, who afaik does all his animation himself, and afaik can work on it full-time thanks to his patreon subscribers. And he still has only produced a total of 30 minutes of animation (for Big Top Burger specifically) in the past 4 years. This is an IMPRESSIVE feat and this is with using a lot of 3D as part of his pipeline!!

Indie animation also has the complication of being more accessible for fandoms. When you’re posting your Official Canon Content on youtube, it doesn’t look a lot different than the fandom-created video essay in the sidebar next to it. What’s canon vs what’s fanon becomes less distinguishable. The boundaries are blurrier. When the creator is just some guy you follow on twitter, it’s easier to prod them for info regarding ships and theories and word-of-god confirmation. They don’t have a PR team or entire international tv networks to appeal to. And this is when creators get frustrated that their fans snowball and turn their creation into something they don’t recognize (and no longer enjoy) anymore.

So it’s tricky.

Thankfully, the threshold to learn animation is fairly low nowadays!! There are TONS of resources online to learn it on your own without forking over a couple hundred thousand to a private art college. There are conventions and discord servers and events where you can network, if you know where to look.

I know it can seem discouraging in the face of capitalism, but I think that’s all the more reason why it’s so important to BE DETERMINED about animation!! We’re already starting to see the beginning of an indie animation boom, and I think it’s a testament to humanity’s desire to tell stories and create art. Even if there’s no financial gain, we do whatever it takes to tell our stories anyway.

#animation #2d animation #indie animation #long post #not 100% sure why I made this post #all this to say: I’m still not sure what direction I want to go towards for my own show #ngl!! i think im confident i could get people to like my show. i think I could find an audience #i have some experience at this point getting people to like my ocs #its just a matter of MAKING the damn thing

[romanoffsbish]

You have really nice fingers 🫣

Oh.. Um, thank you very much nonnie. 😳🤭

#I’m not sure what to say #but thank you 🫣 #really 🥺

[chimaerakitten]

You know, I sometimes think about how timing really effects our engagement with a story. Not in the “you love that story because it came into your life at the right moment” sense, but in the sense that where and how much you waited for it changes your reaction.

People on tumblr talk about the community that comes from weekly episodes of a show, etc but I’m talking more about like, the way watching a show after it’s over will change your reactions to it even entirely independent of spoilers. There’s lots of shows and book series I’ve liked all the way through or even loved, which have die hard contingents of fans who were disappointed the ending or bailed after hating a middle installment.

And often I can look at those things and go “yeah, I probably wouldn’t like this as much if I’d been forced to sit on that middle season for a year, or wait eight years for that final book” but even though I can see that, it’s overshadowed by the way I personally got to breeze right past the quality dip season and I picked up book 11 two days after book 10 so I didn’t have any built up expectations, and as a consequence I liked things that other people didn’t.

And I don’t think either experience—the old fan who waited and had their hopes dashed and the new fan who never built up hopes—is really more real than the other, having been in both camps in various fandoms, but I think it’s interesting that the entirely beyond the fourth wall factor of waiting time can have such an impact on the most die hard of fanbases when the canon is exactly the same

#I’m pretty sure my MASH opinions are wildly different #from anyone who didn’t watch all 11 seasons in a one-month-long fugue state #is what I’m saying #the kitten rambles

[incorrectbuckandeddie]

Buck: I just wanted to let you all know that I have a boyfriend.

Hen: Congrats Buck!

Chimney: Wait let us guess! Does he have brown hair?

Hen: Was he in the army?

Chimney: Does his job involve rescuing people?

Hen: Does he have abs for days?

Chimney: Do we know him?

Buck: How did you two know I was dating Tommy?!

Hen and Chimney: WHAT!

#I would love to see their faces personally #no one knows what to do with the betting money given that Buck is dating Eddie’s clown #in all seriousness I love the BuckTommy development on the show but they really did give Buck a legally distinct not Eddie boyfriend #evan buckley #buck #buddie #eddie diaz #incorrect buck #incorrect buddie quotes #911 abc #incorrect hen #henrietta wilson #incorrect chimney #chimney han #incorrect 911 quotes #although I’m sure I’m not the first to make a post like this #source: mine #oops that tag was supposed to say Eddie’s clone not clown but evidently autocorrect decided otherwise

[vanhelsingapologist]

Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.

They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.

They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.

Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.

On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.

#This is about traditional publishing but there’s pretty privilege and ageism in self publishing too #I can’t think of the last time I saw an up and coming author recording videos who was over thirty #And frankly that’s a shame #It could be that I’m not looking hard enough #but it’s more likely that algorithms are trained the way they are #truly I don’t think they should have to do any of that at all #And forgive me but (and I know it’s rich because I’m an artist on a platform) but art shouldn’t be at the mercy of an algorithm #Now there’s also something to be said about self publishing becoming easier and easier to achieve success in #And doors opening because of influencer status is real and makes publishing wider in a way #But that doesn’t mean it’s accessible #I’m not gonna plaster my health issues over the wall but that life is certainly not accessible to me! #are you healthy enough to write and make sure people on social media still want to like your stuff #are you mentally well enough to be your own pr #I’m sure people who have studied this have more to say and have said it better but this is what I’ve observed #writing #publishing #publishing industry

[moonsaurora]

you know. it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth when people bring up the allegations against drake bell when talking about his abuse. it feels like “yeah this very bad thing happened to you, but you did this” ????

it’s like. you see this man disassociate at the thought of what happened to him. it being so horrible he can’t even say it. 11 charges against brian peck for what he did to drake ALONE, including but not limited to sodomy, forcible penetration with a foreign object, using anesthesia, and even filming it…like knowing all if this you still go “he also perpetrated abuse”

idk. i just feel like you can say that you feel horrible for what he went through and talk about that without bringing up his allegations. like imagine he’s sitting in front of you recounting the horrific shit he went through, and then you say back “yes that’s awful, but you did this”

idk how to explain it but it just feels wrong

#quiet on set #nickelodeon #drake bell #also. i may be wrong but she lied about her age right? #once he found out he blocked her and then she kept coming to m&gs and stuff #like wasn’t it proven there was nothing physical between them #he plead guily to the text messages i think but not anything else #that’s what i’ve been seeing anyway #oh and i’m not saying that didn’t affect her i’m sure it absolutely did

[adhd-languages]

When someone speaks a foreign language in public and I’m desperately trying not to stare like I’m sorry I’m not racist I just desperately want to hear the different vowel sounds you’re making. sorry.

#also every time I hear a language in public I wanna figure out what it is #and don’t even get me started on if it’s one I recognize #if it’s Japanese I’m like #if they say one of the few words I can understand I go insane #even if they just use particles. and I hear/recognize them. it’s so exciting for me #<-(I’m a nerd and this is what qualifies as fun for me) #but also it’s rude to stare and eavesdrop too much I’m sure #and I don’t want people to feel uncomfortable #Quinn posts #language #langblr #linguistics #language learning #languages #100 #500

[puppyeared]

personal character design headcanons + brainrot

Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol

#I SAY PERSONAL BC ITS MY OWN SPIN ON IT. NOT CHIPPERS CANON UNLESS THEY DECIDE TO OR NOT YOU HEAR ME /LH #I made a banner and everything this time. PLWEASE send them your questions not me JAJFHDSF #I thought it would be cool if macaque has two separate forms as a shadow and inside a mindscape. like I wanted his shadow form to reflect #him in his prime and then the mindscape form as what he looked like when he died. or a more vulnerable state at least #based on LBD appearing to MK as the ivory lady when she died in the S3 special. I don’t know exactly what it was but my first thought seein #the white void was she was appearing to MK in his mindscape to talk to him. so I built on that #I wanted to give him a more ‘Smokey’ look as a shadow just based on how he manipulates them in the show like in shadow play. I hope this #makes it look cool and immaterial. and then his mindscape form would be more battered up and tangible #the last couple images are chippers ideas though since they said the monkeys are drawn to MK when macaque is possessing him lol #and the fact that macaque doesn’t have any senses unless he’s possessing someone + literally sniffing out wukong in the scroll 🤨📸 #I also have a vivid image of macaque moving from the mindscape to physical form like umm. kind of like when he passes the boundary between #physical and spirit/mind(?) it’s like the shadow covers him like ink. or pulling Saran Wrap over your face and it clings to your skin #so it kind of makes the shadow seem like a sort of shell or covering.. and I love the idea of MK meeting macaque in the mindscape for the #first time too. like the moment mac rescues him from LBD and MK sees him all battered and tired looking brooooooo #I’m not even sure if that would count as a mindscape but it rattles around in my brain like loose marbles #god I fucking love this au. gives me imagination fuel swear to god #my art #doodles #lmk #Lego Monkie kid #Monkie kid #lmk au #re-bound!au #rebound au #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #lmk mk #lmk xiaotian

[theshadowrealmitself]

Peter Parker, terrible at lying, trying to explain why he’s in Wade Wilson’s apartment without revealing that he’s there for Spiderman related reasons, looking the Avenger’s straight in the eyes and claiming he’s Wade’s life coach

#Spiderman #spider man #spider-man #Peter Parker #Deadpool #peter b parker #peter benjamin parker #wade wilson #Wade w Wilson #wade winston wilson #not technically spideypool but in my eyes definitely the start of spideypool shenanigans #the avengers #I’m not sure who actually it’d be funniest for him to say it to #like to me funniest would be prof x but he’d know immediately why Peter was lying #I want people to be confused cause that’s def a lie but what….could possibly be the truth? #settled on avengers

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ngl the "im white so i dont talk abt any characters' race ever bc im afraid of accidentally saying something racist" approach to fandom is like. very weak. imo.

like first of all: i get that "i dont incorporate race into my media analysis because i'm afraid of messing up" comes from a different place than "i don't incorporate race into my media analysis because I Don't See Race 😊 there is only The Human Race." but it has the same functional effect, right? that effect being that your analysis of [INSERT MEDIA HERE] ignores the very real way that race impacts people.

second of all: it feels kinda lazy! like ur saying "i dont know enough abt race to feel comfortable commenting on how race affects this show and i dont care enough to learn." the only way to become more comfortable discussing race is to actually practice discussing race. but when i see people saying this it feels like they're saying "i'm white, which means i don't know how to talk about race, and i don't have to know how to talk about race, and i don't ever have to know how to talk about race, so i'm choosing to never learn how to talk about race."

third of all: just because you don't openly talk about race doesn't mean you're any less likely to accidentally say or do something racist. implicit biases run deep, y'all. it's probably already there in your interpretation of the show. but the "i don't want to accidentally say something racist" implies that you are positive that your interpretation of the show isn't racist. and i'm not saying you're wrong. but i'm saying that if a person of color tells you that something you said about [INSERT MEDIA HERE] was racist, you better be prepared to actually listen and not just brush them off because "i can't be racist! i purposefully never talk about race just to make sure i'm not racist!"

which brings me to my final point: if you do accidentally say something racist... literally just apologize. if someone says you've been doing something racist, apologize and stop doing that thing. it's literally not that hard. i've done it. i've seen other people do it. "i'm scared of being called racist!" is such a weak excuse im tired of it. getting called racist is not the end of the fucking world. calm the fuck down and grow a spine. jesus.

#mine #ofmd fandom crit #txt #og #it feels like ppl who say this are the kind of ppl who think being accused of racism is worse than actually being racist yknow? #idk i was scared of being called racist when i was like. 13. #now i’m like “if i get called racist it’s probably bc i’m doing something racist” #with the exception being ofc when an anon tells me i’m racist for shipping blackhands (a thing i dont even do) #anyway i am SURE someone has made a post or even a wholeass Article abt this before that’s better than what i wrote

[the-meme-monarch]

happy birthday to my friends and i’s knight chara and strange someone frisk aus/theories :]

hi for undertale reasons i don’t like any combination of shipping chara frisk and asriel. if you ship them go away 👍

#strange someone frisk #knight chara #the art gallery #deltarune #i remember seeing someoen say that gaster might be talking to the knight and the strange someone so i wanted to think abt that ! i don’t kn #THE entry 17 ‘dark darker yet darker this next experiment will be very very interesting what do you two think’ ONE. I ERASED THE TRA #I ERASED THE TRANSLATION SOMEHWERE ALONG THE WAY BUT YEAH HES SAYING ‘what do you two think’ IN THAT ONE #I don’t know if I’ll keep up w that but I’m picturing it like. chara is doing this for extra credit JSNSNJSNSJS yeah sure I’ll help you wi #with your experiment. can you write me a letter of recommendation. #frisk may be doing this for Let’s See If I Can Get Back To Undertale reasons #is this undertale or deltarune gaster. idk. idk if there’s even a separate version Of him considering the split across time and space thing