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literaryavenger · 18 days

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Obsessed

Summary: Your crush on Bucky may be getting out of control.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warnings: Dramatic Reader. Language. Angst. Fluff. My poor attempts at being Funny.

Word Count: 1.4K I'm physically incapable of making anything short.

A/N: I wrote this in like 2 hours and I don't even know what this is, just... Yeah.

Masterlist

This is terrible.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone. It's just the most horrible, dreadful, awful thing that could’ve ever happen to yo-

“Would you stop staring at him for fuck's sakes!” Natasha's hissed words make your eyes snap to her and finally away from the metal armed Supersoldier lifting weights. Shirtless.

You don't know when Bucky stopped feeling self-conscious enough to allow him to workout in nothing but a pair of gym shorts, but it has become literal torture for you.

Needless to say, Bucky's current level of undress is making it impossible for you to concentrate on the stretching you're supposed to be doing before your sparring match with Natasha.

But your very thoughtful and not at all exasperated friend makes sure to keep your attention on her during the entirety of our match by thoroughly kicking your ass.

What a lovely best friend you have.

Anyways.

Your entire mood shifts with one not intentionally overheard conversation. Steve enters the gym and goes straight to Bucky, who was putting his weight set down.

“She’s here!” Is all the blonde says to his friend and your heart stops at the way Bucky’s face lights up with a smile, not needing any more information before following Steve out of the gym.

She’s here? Who the fuck is she? Does Bucky have a girlfriend? And most importantly, she’s here? In the Compound?

Natasha can almost see the gears turning in your brain as you make no attempts to move from the mat after she knocked you on your ass for the hundredth time today. You didn’t even seem to notice her hand offering you help to get up, your eyes still looking where Bucky was just a moment ago, staring at nothing in particular while your brain drowns in your overthinking.

Natasha sighs and decides to end the match here, kneeling down in front of you and placing her hands on your shoulders, shaking you gently to snap you out of it.

“Don’t overthink this.” She tells you when she’s sure she has your attention. “It’s probably just a friend visiting.” She tries to comfort you, but you both know that’s highly unlikely.

Bucky has no other friends outside the team. He doesn’t know how to talk to civilians anymore after everything he’s been through, and gave up trying to after the hundredth time he saw fear in a person’s eyes just by recognizing him. So his friend circle now includes the team and the agents of SHIELD that are not intimidated by him. Point is, every friend he has already lives in the Compound.

So who the fuck is here just to see him?

Natasha can see that this is a lost battle, your eyes barely concentrating on her as you start drowning in your mind again. All she can do when you’re like this is try to distract you and keep you out of your head. So she takes your hand and helps you up, leading the way to the common room to watch one of your beloved romcoms together, because that’s how much she loves you.

Big mistake.

“Y/N! Y/N!” The excited high-pitched voice came just seconds after you set foot in the common room. And that’s about the only warning you got before the excited 5-year-old jumped on you, your reflexes thankfully quick enough to catch her.

“Hi, Maguna!” You say while chuckling as the little girl hugs you. “You seem excited today. Did you get into the sugar cabinet again?”

Morgan giggles at your joke and shakes her hand before taking your face in her little hands and dramatically saying, “No! A princess came to visit uncle Bucky! A real princess.”

You frown, confused at what she’s talking about, before you look around the room and finally notice everyone else in it. Pepper and Tony are on the couch, looking at you lovingly as you interact with their daughter.

You love Morgan, she’s like a little sister. You never miss an opportunity to babysit her and you spend as much time with her as you can. She also loves you, out of all the Avengers you’re her favorite, much to everyone’s dismay. She calls them all ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’, but you’re just Y/N. You’re her big sister, you don’t need a title. Which is why you're the only one other than Tony allowed to call her 'Maguna'.

Then you notice the other people in the room: Steve, Bucky and… Shuri. The fucking Princess of Wakanda, standing in the common room of the Avengers Compound and just smiling at you as you carry Morgan.

You’ve never met Shuri, but you know she played an important part in deprogramming the Winter Soldier out of Bucky, and you’re grateful to her for it. She’s important to Bucky, and you can’t believe you forgot Bucky has Wakandan friends.

You put Morgan down on the ground again and the little girl takes your hand and aggressively steers you towards where Steve, Bucky and Shuri are standing, clearly thrilled to be in the presence of a real life princess.

“Hi, I’m Shuri.” She offers you her hand when you get close enough and you shake it with your free hand while introducing yourself.

There’s a bit of an awkward pause and you’re about to say the first thing that pops into your head when Morgan thankfully saves you by pulling on your hand, making you look at her. She tells you to come close and, chuckling, you kneel beside her so she can whisper conspiratorially in your ear.

“She’s a princess and she’s really pretty, but I still like you better.” She whispers and you can’t help but laugh.

God, you love this little girl.

You smile brightly at her and launch a tickle attack, her adorable giggles filling the room as everyone looks at you two with warm smiles.

Your attention is solely on Morgan, until you unintentionally hear the whispered conversation between Shuri and Bucky.

“So, this is the girl, huh? She’s pretty.” Shuri says and your heart skips a beat.

You glance at them as discreetly as you can while still tickling Morgan, only to find Bucky looking at someone behind you. You turn around less carefully and see Sharon just entered the room, and she's also looking at Bucky with a smirk. You quickly return your attention to Morgan, but your mind is going a thousand miles a minute.

Of course he’d like someone more like Sharon. She’s pretty, she’s talented, she’s a total badass and she’s not afraid to go after what she wants.

She’s not a mass of anxiety in the shape of a woman that overthinks everything and becomes a flustered mess every time she’s even near Bucky.

It’s time to admit it to yourself: Bucky just doesn’t see you like that and you need to move on.

Natasha is right, your obsession with Bucky needs to end.

What you don’t see is Bucky almost glaring at Sharon because he knows damn well why she’s smirking. She came in just before Shuri whispered to Bucky, when he was very intent on looking at you with heart eyes as you played with Morgan.

Just before you looked at him, Bucky noticed Sharon and he had to hold in a groan at her because he knows that she’s never gonna let him live this down.

Both Sharon and Steve have tried really hard to convince Bucky that you like him back and he should make a move on you. But Bucky, being as stubborn as they come, never believes them.

He obviously makes you uncomfortable, you’re always stuttering when he’s around and you avoid eye contact whenever possible. He’s just glad that you can stand his presence enough for the two of you to work together when necessary and to hang out with the rest of the team without problems.

So he just enjoys looking at you from a distance. He loves watching you play with Morgan and his thoughts always run wild with images of you playing like that with kids that are yours and his.

But he knows that’s never going to happen. Why would you like a damaged, PTSD ridden soldier that can’t even make it through the night without waking up from a nightmare? No, that’s definitely not your type.

Bucky accepts the truth: He doesn’t deserve you and you don’t see him like that anyways.

It doesn’t matter that Sam thinks he’s obsessed, that won’t stop him from looking at you whenever he’s lucky enough to get a glimpse of his little ray of sunshine.

Requested taglist: @vicmc624 @matchat3a @nerd-without-a-cause @sapphirebarnes @cjand10 @mostlymarvelgirl @julvrs @blackhawkfanatic @lillianacristina @armystay89 @imdoingbetternow @spookyparadisesheep @elizalexwil @aceofhearts25 @dontworryboutitsweetheartxx-blog @justab-eautifulmess

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imsickofpasswords · 6 months

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GOS2 analysis: A New Hope (or… Guys, I think I cracked the ending !!!😳🤯)

SPOILER ALERT!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!SPOILER ALERT!!! (Even for those who watched both seasons several times!!!)

Hi! You are about to read a mixture between a theory and a revelation. Both could be figments of my mind making things up by dint of overthinking and overwatching (...is there such a thing as overwatching GO?) Anyway, I must warn you that if you DO see what I think I saw, the agony you endured for months (maybe you got used to it, maybe you befriended it, maybe you don’t want it to go), the excruciating pain that led you here, will come to an end NOW. For me, Good Omens is a work-of-art and NOTHING will take the passion/obsession away, trauma or no trauma. If you're like me, then read on!

Before I dive into the thick of the matter, allow me to stress a couple of things. I know you know, but this is still very important. Please, bear with me…

Aziraphale and Crowley KNOW each other.

They share a 6000 year-old friendship. Surely you experienced that, at least once in your life, with a long-time friend or partner: you finish each other’s sentences, you glance at each other and burst out laughing when nobody else understands why, you speak the same coded language that doesn’t even require words. That’s how close Aziraphale and Crowley are. Aziraphale can predict Crowley's every reaction. He knows how to manipulate him with just a pout or a frown. Crowley knows what makes Aziraphale tick. He knows what the angel holds dearest. He can figure out Aziraphale's state of mind just by listening to the TONE of his voice. He knows how Aziraphale SMELLS!

They also know WHO the other one is, I mean deep down, what they want and what they’re capable of…

Aziraphale and Crowley TRUST each other.

‘I could always rely on you, you could always rely on me.’

And

'You could have walked away'

'You said trust me'

'And you did.'

So on… you know all those lines by heart and I'm sure you could come up with oodles of examples.

Walls have ears(floors too).

Someone wrote somewhere (was that on Youtube?) that the 25 lazari miracle could have been performed by the Metratron, since the magic circle was once used to contact him and was probably never turned off properly afterwards. That's an interesting theory.

Personally, I don't believe the Metatron was involved in the miracle. I already elaborated about this in my first theory https://www.tumblr.com/imsickofpasswords/732879204359847936/a-theory-of-the-ineffable-plan-by and sort of got confirmation when Uriel asked what the miracle was and Aziraphale answered 'love, it was love!'

I nonetheless realized that the Metratron could indeed be using this channel to spy on Aziraphale. If so, since when? I don’t think it could be from the first time Aziraphale drew the circle, because Adam reset reality after that. Adam would have closed the portal, wouldn't he? Idk. My bet is the snooping began after the miracle, and the magnitude of the miracle is what scared the Metratron into trying to separate Aziraphale and Crowley.

Such considerations had me wonder if what feels like altered memories isn't actually the Metratron prying into Aziraphale's mind (indigovigilance from Tumblr pointed out that ALL the flashbacks seem to emanate from Aziraphale). Or maybe the Metatron has been reading… Aziraphale’s diary. (Btw, does anyone know what happened to that diary?) The Metratron does brag about looking back over Aziraphale's "exploits" (translation: infringements). Plural. So, not just stopping Armageddon? What else? Saving Job's children? Helping out Elspeth?

What's more, the Metatron compliments Muriel, the "dim one", on reading books. 'What a splendid thing to do!' and then he glares at the bookshop.

Aziraphale is not always Aziraphale

I don’t know about you, but I shriveled in horror when Aziraphale promised to give away a book. Had I just slipped into another dimension?

One perfectly acceptable explanation is that love is more important to Aziraphale than books. Fine. Why then does he only offer to LEND a book after Crowley pointed out how IMPOSSIBLE it is for the angel to even THINK of selling a book? In the novel, people who insist on buying books from Aziraphale’s shop go missing FOREVER…

It feels like the usurper realized they made a mistake and tried not to make it twice. Also, what's with the French? Aziraphale spoke French when he was in prison, and he certainly wasn't struggling like that. Last but not least, he does move his hands a lot, but not in the same fashion as he usually does. This was NOT Aziraphale (I think).

We saw how supernatural beings can change their appearance without swapping bodies. Shax changed her face whilst hitchhiking when she HAD NO REASON TO (Aziraphale had never met her before).

I believe the Metatron is the one who turned into Aziraphale. But just for a moment ( I burnt my eyes checking Michael Sheen's every facial expression and gesture and tone of voice throughout the entire season and I couldn't spot anything amiss outside that moment, let me know if I'm wrong). Just a short period of time, then. Why? To see if Crowley would fall for it. I don't know if our beloved demon did.

The obvious objection to this theory is: surely the real Aziraphale would realize that some of his guests had already been invited by… HIMSELF? Well, Nina kept Crowley for a moment. We don't know that the Metatron didn't go around erasing people's memory of him.

Ok, okay, admittedly, it is far-fetched, probably complete bullshit. But I needed to mention this because it's also a part of how I interpret the ending. Nope! I'm not saying the Metatron is the one who got kissed by Crowley!!! That would be… OMG, 🤮

The bullet trick…

Aziraphale is a magician. And his magic seems to always work when he needs it most, providing he uses this formula:"banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace with a dash of nutmeg” the magic words that Mark Gatiss as a zombie reads from the angel's lips.

And there it comes, the showstopper. Actually the "REHEARSAL of the showstopper", as I call it, and you’ll find out why very soon. Please, pause here and go fetch the scene, you’ll need to watch CAREFULLY. See how scared Crowley is when Aziraphale hands over the gun? Crowley is maybe wondering why the miracles aren't working and if he is not about to actually kill his only friend. Then, Crowley mutters something. No idea what, but something like, I can't do it. And Aziraphale, reading his lips, replies in the same fashion, lipspeaking. Whatever the angel says then, Crowley understands it, and it's enough for him to overcome his fear.

The ACTUAL showstopper.

I think you got it by now: what I thought when I saw that, and what I wanted to do next. I didn't rush to the last episode although I was dying to. I didn't want to miss anything and I couldn't believe what I expected would actually happen. But it DID.

The Metatron knows that people are predictable and that nobody ever chooses death over coffee. We don't see his entire conversation with Aziraphale but even if the Metatron doesn't flat out threaten to erase Crowley's name from the Book Of Life, Aziraphale is very aware that this is an option as Michael already said she was given permission to do so. Check Aziraphale's face the minute the Metatron mentions Crowley. Aziraphale hears the threat loud and clear. His face goes grim. He knows he doesn't have a choice but to play along if he's going to save Crowley.

"Go tell your friend the good news!"

Aziraphale smiles, but he is distraught and terrified. The ineffable husbands KNOW each other, remember? There’s no way Aziraphale thinks Crowley will follow him to heaven. Besides, Aziraphale is INTELLIGENT. He knows The Metadick (whoever invented that name, I love you) doesn’t want Crowley back. So all the pleading, come with me, to the light, we'll be doing good, yada yada… is FAKE. All Aziraphale wants when he enters the bookshop is to let Crowley know about the situation without raising suspicions from the Metatron who is watching from outside. That's why the angel keeps glancing at the window whilst using his "something is wrong voice". Now, dear reader, fellow victim who cried your eyes out for months, if you still have eyes, LOOK AGAIN.

When Aziraphale starts to talk about the offer, Crowley frowns, not in disbelief or in anger but in intense focus on… Aziraphale's lips. Can you see them? The SILENT words at the end of the sentences? Tell me you see them too. Please. You do, right? Or do I need to seek help?

Everything after that, every line, is a smoke screen meant for the Metatron (and poor us…) The Metatron is to believe that two lovers got into a fight and got torn apart. Even angels and demons are predictable!

The kiss, of course, is a mean to conceal the moment when Crowley extracts himself from the timeline, taking Aziraphale with him so they can discuss away from prying eyes and ears. Hence the missing fifteen minutes on the clock. 🙂

I think Crowley's confession was genuine. But it was also there to make the fight more convincing. And no one here will say it wasn't convincing… My guess is there must have been another confession, maybe another kiss? A real, tender, passionate, romantic, heart-wrenching kiss that left Aziraphale pressing hard on his lips, aching for more. “Do it again.” But the Metatron would notice… so… "I…forgive you", you foul fiend who thought you could tempt me with such a lowly, dirty and pathetic trick (translation, I love you… and I don't want to leave you, go before I burst into tears, I don't have sunglasses…)

So. They didn't fight!!!! They are still a team, a group of two, a couple, and more than ever!!

Not done yet. There is one last thing that you saw. When the Metatron reveals his plans about the Second Coming, Aziraphale pauses before entering the elevator. And it may last less than a split second, but I can swear that his lips moved again as he was staring at Crowley. Someone crossed the street right after, but Aziraphale kept looking at Crowley although the camera was too far for us to see the lips. However, there was enough time to convey a lot of information.

Now, did they swap? Aziraphale doesn't gesture much after the kiss. Crowley drives under the speed limit and for the first time while Crowley is driving, Queen isn't playing. But. Aziraphale is walking away from his friend-now-lover, not knowing if he actually saved him, or… knowing that he did NOT save him. Crowley is crushed, and probably worried sick about Aziraphale walking alone into an obvious trap. The demon can remember only too vividly how Heaven wanted to end Aziraphale.

The Bentley is sad too, and not just because her master is. She (Yes, she!) grew feelings for Aziraphale, who allowed her to wear fancy yellow and took her to an exciting trip and managed to have her play something new… She likes him so much that she tries to follow him, like a puppy, remember? I think she's the one who played the Nightingale song, to comfort Crowley and herself. As Sendaraya predicted in one of her YouTube videos, we may find out later that this was the Ineffable Husbands' song, ever since 1941, when their relationship started to drift towards romance.

Last but not least, the main reason why I don't think they swapped. I firmly believe the Metatron is planning to wear Aziraphale's face again. Metasick has unresolved issues with Crowley who, annoyingly, still retains some of his memories. Memories that may have become indelible because of Aziraphale's presence. But of course, to impersonate Aziraphale, Crowley's soft spot and only weakness, the Metatron needs to keep Aziraphale out of the picture…

To be continued… (Season 3!!! And for the record, great pustulent mangled bollocks to the ones who delayed it, and I'm NOT talking about the writers and actors…🤬)

Thanks for reading^^

#aziraphale #crowley #neil gaiman #good omens #cracked #ending explained #aziracrow #metatron #last fifteen #theory #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners

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aaftergloweeye · 8 months

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9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by, @inquisitor-apologist 👀 thanke

Last song: Wonderful Night by Fatboy Slim - I was watching Flushed Away for old times sake and the song was in the credits :D but like as for a song I was listening to deliberately last, then that'd be Red Flags by Tom Cardy... don't ask.

Currently reading: Hot Money - Dick Francis, well more like it's the next one on my reading "to do list", it's one of the few Dick Francis books I haven't read yet, so I'm really looking forward to it >:) always up to suffering with Francis' horse plinkos

Current fic: Across The Galaxy by Greencharacters on AO3 because I need all the Kanera fics inserted directly into my bloodstream-

Currently watching: the Ahsoka show! I love it so far no mention of Kanan??? I MEAN, I love all the Spectres popping up 👀 I'm saving my thoughts on it until after it's finished telling its story - in the words of mister Tolkien "We must not be hasty."

Next on my watch list: Mm, likely Loki, I think the new season comes out a week after Ahsoka ends. Also hoping Lego Ninjago's second half of the new season will come out soon, so that's in the cards as well :D otherwise... maybe His Dark Materials. I think there was something new for that as well? But I'll probably have to rewatch the whole thing, I can't remember where I ended up oop.

Current obsession: Kanan Jarrus :) currently trying to continue with my Inquisitor!Kanan AU without feeling guilty about it- also thanks to @vinniehorrible I am now overthinking the possibility of Marrok being Kanan or a clone of his... it's complicated- and I might explore it on my art blog later. I'm forever of the delulu clan.

Aight, time to pop up in 9 people's notifications

@strige-art @aviandistressmachine @loth-creatures @anoray @kanerallels @starrysyndulla @tobytost @astralalmighty @speedythecat

#this #thingy #tag game #is this the tag game?#tag and you shall receive #what is questionable

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dafuq-i-did-not-sign-up-for-this · 1 year

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Obligatory Villain!Kaminari Brainrot

So beside my obvious obsession with this AU/theory/headcanon whatever, there’s something that’s got me about Kaminari’s character for a long time now.

If you pay attention to it, or if you watch and read bnha in tinfoil hat mode like me, you might notice that there’s a lot of official art and manga panels where half or parts of his face are hidden.

I’ve really only started paying attention to it once I stumbled over the positive/negative charge/split personality theory. (Check out this video by Hokai on Youtube, it sums it up really well: https://youtu.be/4gH1dYDi3lA)

Now I need to make a slight distinction between panels or anime frames where he’s like half in the frame, which could be coincidences, and those instances, like in official art, that seem like they have a deeper meaning. For example that what we see of him is really only one side, and something else is hidden. A Villain family, a dark past, anger issues, some kind of dark side, or just a secret.

Some of the more obvious examples:

So this is the very obvious one that makes almost everyone go what the fuck a little. It's pretty old and I think it's actually the one that sparked the whole theory. Here his face is very obviously split in two, and it does not look like a coincidence. With this context, here some other ones:

Those still look pretty intentional. And his face in the fantasy AU? Holy fuck.

Then there's his fight with Shishikura, to date one of my favorite scenes in the manga, because it gives so freaking much thought material about about Kaminari's character. I made a whole own post about this, so I'll spare you the elaboration.

Here again. Pretty obvious. Pretty serious look. If I'm correct this is an official art by Betten Court, the artist of the Vigilantes spin-off.

Keep in mind that in most of the official sketches his face is normal, but those few still stick out, especially the one with the split face. The design of his hair makes it easy to hide parts of his face, even if it's not as obvious as in the sketches above most of the time. There are of course characters like Shishikura, who has half his face hidden by his hair all the time, but I think this is a thing you need to see in context of the character.

I'm probably overthinking this, but I think it's an interesting detail if you keep the split personality theory in mind.

#villain kaminari #traitor kaminari #bnha traitor theory #bnha kaminari denki #im at it again with my shit #seriously check out the video it's sick

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ouroboros-hideout · 4 months

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WIP WEDNESDAY WHENEVER

I got tagged by @theviridianbunny thank youuu!

ART

The Kurt drawing I started a month ago is almost finished so I won't show that as a WIP again lol. But I settled on what I want to draw next already and I am way to hyped by the idea (Cyberpunk/Witcher crossover)

WRITING

I write quite a lot lately (or try to). Manly oc stuff because I managed to get obsessed with Alyona. Welp.

Her character introduction for my AU is halfway finished, but I am overthinking if it got a little to shippy (I didn't intendet that in the beginning but it just happened and I like it hehe). Maybe I make my shippy stuff into something extra and name it after the ship to keep the actual AU "cleaner" bc it's not that important for the plot. I don't know! I can't organzie my stuff!

Here's a preview of the introduction tho. For context: It's a backflash and around 2073, the business in Dtown starts to bloom and she comes for a visit to see what the Colonel came up with (try not to cringe by posting your writing but cringe anyway):

————————————————————

A woman got out of the helicopter after them. Relatively tall, slim, athletically muscular, her short black hair was tousled by the wind, the sides of her skull were shaved short. She wore simple, military-style clothing. Cargo pants, lace-up heavy boots, a tactical leather jacket. Everything was kept in black and dark olive tones. If you didn't know any better, you'd say she was from here and it would be easy for her to blend in with the masses in Dogtown. One detail that made her stand out, was a multitude of thin scars that ran from the lower left side of her face across her nose and up to her forehead. Judging by the degree of healing, it was a very old wound. At least on the outside.

She walked confidently past her people, holding a bottle of clear liquid with an elaborately designed label in her right hand. Probably high-proof alcohol from her home.

After a few steps, however, she stopped abruptly and pushed the aviator glasses she was wearing down a little to look over the rim in disbelief and with a raised eyebrow.

"You look old, Kurt," she said blatantly, examined the man in front of her from top to bottom and continued to walk slowly towards the him, then took her glasses off completely and put them in the inside pocket of her jacket.

"It hasn't been that long since we last saw each other, has it?"

Her English was remarkably good when compared to other representatives from this part of the world who were usually up for business in Dogtown. However, she was unable to mask the slight accents common to the Russian language.

Kurt ignored her little teasing and tried to be professional.

"I'm glad you're here too." He couldn't help but welcome her with a thin smile." And it should be about half a year. The last time was in Laos during the negotiations."

Both slowly came to a halt in front of each other. Jago had followed the Colonel discreetly and kept to the background.

"That was six months ago already. Seems like I did good on suppressing the memories about that terrible place“, she answered shaking her head in disbelief.

"How was the flight?" he added tersely.

"Ah," she made a dismissive hand gesture. "Alright. I am getting used to traveling.“ She showed him the bottle she brought with her. „Here's your favorite. Don't worry, I've got more in the helicopter."

Without further ado, she pressed it into Hansen's hand.

For all the people standing by who were not yet familiar with Alyona and her way of dealing with Kurt, this whole encounter must have seemed incredibly strange. They all only knew him as the undisputed authority figure and nobody, except at most his old brothers in arms, would dare to talk to him like that. And even there were limits.

Alyona finally looked with interest at the man standing behind the Colonel.

„And who is the cute little cat? I don't think we've met yet.“

Jago's features froze completely and he didn't think he had heard correctly.

"The cute little... EXCUSE ME?" he replied with audible outrage in his voice.

————————————————————

And I still NEED to write her fucking lore down. I think I got it togehter by now.

VP (new to the list)

Just started to activly making pics on my console and would like to come up with a little series in the future maybe.

Atm I try to make pics for a fun Discord Challenge where I have to show a single day in the live of my V. Since I am still obsessed with a certain disctrict I thought I make it a "Dogtown Days"- Edition. I struggle with the limited set of poses but I'll figure something out.

Yea think that's it for now. I still have so many ideas for a lot of different things but I have to restrain myself and finish some things first before I get lost in my WIP-Limbo.

#wip whenever #ouroboros talks #writing stuff #art stuff #VP stuff

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mbti-enemies · 1 year

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hey, guys! fellow INFP here, I used to have this loathe towards my own type (slash myself in general) too a few years ago

I think it came mostly from some stereotypes I used to hear a lot of back then, stuff like "crybaby", "too sensitive", "manipulative", "dramatic", "self-centered", "selfish", "loonies", "antisocial", "illogical" or things like "INFP's forgive but rarely forget", "INFP's moral standard are too high/unreal", that "we're too obsessed with idealism", "we're stuck in the past", "we victimise ourselves all the time"

and these comments used to really get to me, I'd overthink it for an unhealthily amount of time, specially because I was in a really dark place back then and I'd see myself relating to most of these definitions. I couldn't even focus on all the plenty of good things people had to say about me because when you hate yourself it's is just hard to believe in any perspective that's different from yours.

but then I started working on it, I was so done with hating myself and surrounding myself with toxicity all the time, I'd prioritise everyone else but me, I'd neglect my own happiness and needs until I had a breakdown, pushed everyone away and started this cycle all over again.

It's mentally exhausting and you can't take care of anyone if you don't take care of yourself first, you must always be your first priority and offer yourself the same kindness that you offer to other people.

there's this quote from a book that says "we accept the love we think we deserve", and it's true! once you realise all the good things there is about you and how lovable you are, no one can convince you otherwise, all you need is your own validation, be happy with who you are, clap your own baby steps and stop damning yourself for every tiny mistake you've done, and I promise you'll attract all the good people who will love and accept you for exactly who you are!

people who won't think of your sensitivity as "drama"

you are allowed to feel, you're not "too much", you're allowed to be overly happy and excited over the smallest things, you're allowed to cry when you feel like it even when it seems like "there is no reason to", you're allowed to feel pain over things that you thought you'd be over by now because it's been so long, you're allowed to take time for yourself, to try new hobbies, you're allowed and you should set up boundaries! you're allowed to cut people off when you don't feel good around them, you're allowed to use your voice and stand your ground.

take care of yourself, drink water, eat everyday, try journaling, take long showers once in a while, listen to music, look yourself in the mirror and tell that person looking back at you that they're worthy of every good thing in this life even if you don't believe it (yet). and if all you did today was survive, I'm proud of you for that, and so you should be! I promise you things will get better eventually even if it doesn't feel like it rn. you're amazing and shouldn't accept mediocrity when you are this beautiful human being in and out <3

I'm not perfect and neither are you, there are some days that I see myself falling back into old habits, days when I don't feel lovable, when the highs feel too high and the lows too low, days when I disassociate way more than it'd be considered healthy, etc etc, but you know what? things always get better at some point.

I now have friends I can always count with!

I force myself to share my problems even when I want to stick myself in a cave and never come out again because the world suddenly feels like a horrible place to live in, and I feel like no one cares about me because everyone is probably too busy with their own problems. I promise you there are people who care, you just need to allow them to love you because believe it or not, you are lovable. let them know you need help, or just a hug sometimes.

and you know what's funny? some of my closest friends are also INFP's and I'm so happy that they exist! here are some amazing traits about INFP's: (based on my own experience with them and being one myself, because you're allowed to see and knowledge your valuable traits... I know , shocking)

INFP's can be: empathetic, generous, open-minded, creative, passionate, thoughtful, deep, carrying, intense and vulnerable in the best ways, so very understanding, poetic, kind-hearted etc etc etc

you guys are amazing and I'm very proud of you! (this is for every one who needs to hear it, even if you're not an INFP) <333 have a good way, a great week and an even better life!

(For the earlier infp askers)

Infp, this is the sweetest, truest thing. thank you so so much for taking the time to share this <333

HEAR HEAR

also I think this is gorgeous advice even if you’re not an infp, if you’re struggling with low self esteem, and literally everything else

#infp

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running-in-the-dark · 4 months

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I've got more to say on that post (tw I'm insane I don't know what to tag this as its just. mental illness man idk.)

I'm really, really glad that other people apparently really don't know what it's like to feel like that. like you're not allowed to think certain things or that thinking them makes you bad.

because fuck I wish that was me.

I find it almost impossible to talk about this but I'm trying because I've found it's really the only thing that helps a little bit - and it feels like literal torture, like. I am having to actively fight every instinct in my head to be able to type any of it.

but. just. man I just can't. sometimes I can do it, but sometimes it's like now and I get so panicked about it that all the words just fucking disappear. literally can't talk about it.

okay, I'll try a different way. so. I get extremely obsessed with fictional characters (which you know if you've ever looked at this blog because duh). obviously that means I think about them. a lot. all the time really. and it's. it is really really hard, honestly. just like. imagine having to basically check every. little. thought. to see if there's anything there that could make you a bad person.

again, can't go into any more detail because My Brain (probably should stop saying that, I guess it's like, part of the ocd tendencies I have or whatever) won't fucking let me.

so, I'm trying to work on that, and for some reason I'm doing that by writing it down instead. because then I have like, the option to go back and look at it and be like actually this is probably fine. not horrible, not the worst thing anyone has ever thought, and even if it was - no one but me is ever going to see this, so why should it even matter?

but more than anything it's like. shown me how fucking insane that is. I literally can't even write so much as like. a hug. without feeling like I'm the most disgusting piece of shit ever (lots of complicated reasons but it boils down to basically. well you're thinking about his body. and that his body would feel nice. and that is absolutely not allowed in any way). when I've said that I'm writing some insane shit I don't mean like haha, this is sooo dirty hehe :3 no guys I mean it is literally insane and mostly me literally having to write paragraphs of dialogue in which the character assures me that it's okay and I'm not horrible for thinking that and. like I'm literally writing him as if he's my fucking therapist because that's the only way I can justify it in my own head.

like, I am not exaggerating when I say that I've made myself feel like I'm physically ill from overthinking this so much. I literally felt like I had a fever because I got so extremely stressed out about it. I think that was about like. holding hands or some shit. I'm 32 fucking years old. I'm literally married (won't even get into that but fuck dude just imagine being like this and. yeah).

and the funniest part about all of that is that I feel so unbelievably ashamed about all of it that I don't think I could even mention it to a therapist or whatever. like the thought alone is so absolutely horrifying that it makes me feel like I need to be punished for it. so I just convince myself that well it can't really be OCD anyway because I don't even have compulsions anymore (even though I did, and they affected my life so much for like, 15 years at least), and well even if it could still be that even without the compulsions well it's not that bad really. I mean I don't have the issues that people with actual OCD have, it doesn't really affect me, so what if I can't think about fucking that fictional guy, imagine how much a therapist would laugh at you for thinking you should get help with that, nope your brain is just fundamentally broken (it's always been that way after all, so it can't be something like that, no you're just broken and wrong and that's why all your thoughts are bad, you're just the worst person on Earth).

I can't explain how hard it is to even like. just talk about the most mundane shit. like let's say there's a picture of The Guy and I think he looks good. it's such a struggle to let myself say that. like literally, something as fucking basic as that. literally anything that is an admission of 'hi I've thought about his face and his body and I think they look kind of nice' makes me feel like I should literally die. that's why I've been trying to say that shit as much as I can lately, with the reasoning being well if I just keep doing it and nothing horrible happens it'll get easier right? (nope it doesn't, not really)

and like, there's so much more to it than social media, obviously. like it's probably 99% my upbringing (didn't even fucking realise until very recently that a lot of it is based on religious stuff because I didn't understand that my family was even that religious. yeah I don't get it either. but there's way more than the religion aspect, just pretty much everything about my childhood and my parents and. everything). but it does play a huge part in it for me and. I don't know what to do about that and I'll probably do nothing because doing anything is hard and I'm already completely overwhelmed by everything.

yeah idk all of that came from thinking about that video too much, idk, I'm shutting up now

#literally I've talked about this with. I think exactly two people. and one is just the very basics and even that is. hard. (the other one #is - well hi you probably know I mean you.)#anyway I'm gonna go dig a hole that I can live in now because that's what I deserve for having thoughts. bye.#personal

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ace-sher-bi-john · 4 months

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Me, feeling lonely: I should try to make more friends

My brain: Here's a list of all the reasons why we don't do that,

I experience hyperfixations which take up all of my mental energy to the point where I barely have enough energy to take care of myself. I can't handle having more than two obsessions at a time, and even that is draining. When my friends talk about their obsessions, I try really hard to listen, but lose interest quickly if it's not my current hyperfixation. In turn, I love to infodump and obsess over small details in my hyperfixations. I try really hard not to do this when talking to people because it feels very self-centered. Like they would care about hearing every single detail about my obsession, with no room for them to talk about their interests...

I'm an introvert and find human interaction exhausting unless that person is my mom (who I could literally talk to all day and never be tired, and she in turn would never tire of talking to me). Even talking to friends online is super exhausting and I overthink everything I say, which is even more exhausting

I have zero ability to gage how close I am to someone. I don't want to make things awkward by being super clingy, because several friendships failed throughout my life due to me being clingy and only wanting to play with one specific person even if they didn't feel like playing with me. So I've overcorrected and now I don't make any attempts to progress in our friendship out of fear of appearing clingy. I'm either the most clingy friend or the most distant friend. Friendships require a healthy balance of both and I am incapable of that, so I go for the option that will be seen as the least annoying/selfish and we remain at best really good acquaintances

My interests are very specific and change every couple of months. Even if I found someone who was obsessed with the same thing at the same time, as well as my more niche hobbies, the friendship would last as long as my hyperfixation. Once we no longer share common interests, I would inevitably talk to them less and less until one day, we're no longer friends. My brain would no longer find that person interesting and I would forget about them

I believe that I have it in me to be a really good friend. To get it right. But it would be at the cost of myself. I would try to make enough room in my brain for everyone else's lives and I wouldn't have any interests of my own. I would constantly be exhausted.

So instead I choose the option that sometimes makes me happiest, but other times leaves me sad and lonely wondering why I can't just be better at being a good friend?

I do have friends IRL. I have four people who I would consider to be close friends, possibly even best friends? Two of them have given me the label of being their best friend. But I don't talk to them as often as I probably should. I talk to one of them almost daily for hours at a time, because they just so happen to be obsessed with BBC Sherlock, the MCU and cosplay. But I fear that the second my BBC Sherlock obsession ends, I will stop talking to them.

Outside of those people, I don't know where I stand with anyone who's not family. I have my old classmates from high school. Some of them I talked to every day and had friendly interactions with, but I don't make any effort to stay in contact with them now and didn't feel much of a connection with when we were in school. I have my co-workers who I don't feel much of a connection to, but they're always happy to see me and sometimes interact with me in a way that makes me feel like we're friends. One of my co-workers hugged me before she went home on the day before she started her holiday break because she was going to miss seeing me everyday while she was off. That caught me off guard. I guess we're friends if she felt close enough to me to hug me?

Apologies for the rant. I just really needed to put that somewhere. I won't make a habit of this.

#basically i know im not a good friend #i also know what i need to do to fix that #but it would hurt my mental health to stop doing what makes me happy #infodumping about my obsessions makes me happy #infodumping with people who share my obsessions makes me happier #but listening to other people talk about their obsessions which i don't share is boring #that's selfish of me i know #but i can't just fix that about me #rant

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mlobsters · 7 months

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supernatural s10e13 halt & catch fire (w. eric charmelo, nicole snyder)

maybe i should rewatch halt and catch fire. i watched it as it aired so it's been a minute. lee pace as a very messy bisexual disaster in the early pc industry through to internet times. and mackenzie davis was amazing. really well done show. i recall the first season was a little too hard on the mad men-esque feel but really got into its own stride in subsequent seasons (it was airing on amc at the end of mad men's run which was mid 2014 and this spn ep aired feb 2015. the phrase itself is an old computing term). anyway!

is the mark making him ogle the college girls too? cmon

DEAN And Trini is? SAM Ah, you have to excuse my partner. When it comes to technology, he’s a little behind. Uh…he just learned how to poke on Facebook. JANET Uh, um, Trini is the nav app we were using. It – It’s like a talking map. You’re Gen X. Right.

well, addressing the age difference of it all LOL. i think of dean/jensen as my age but he is technically 1 (2) years older than me. i'm in the no-man's land of 1980 which is claimed by neither gen x or millenial or both, depending who you ask. not for nothing, we had all this new tech stuff come in when we were young and we're not known to be technically unsavvy :P (though the earlier you get things can be different) but also like. since he and i are kind of on that cusp age of generations, i don't think it would be necessarily super obvious to this girl that he is? dear lord. what will i overthink next

SAM So – so what’s a thing? DEAN You know, the truck thing. You honor the deceased by driving their truck. Sam, they wrote a whole country song about it. Why don’t you Google it?

it's such an old, easy, dumb joke but dean being so smug over telling sam to google something made me laugh

DEAN Alright, so big brother didn’t get along with little brother, was pissed that he was driving his baby. I get it. SAM What are you saying? If you died and I drove your car, you’d kill me? DEAN If you stunk her up with tacquitos, probably.

what do you mean, IF? dean HAS died and you DID drive his car :P

cackling. didn't they have a lamp cord do this in s1 to sam?

spn s1e9 home

SAM So, what? You think we’re dealing with a “Ghost in the Machine”? DEAN Maybe. But if it is the same ghost, I mean, they usually anchor themselves to a place or a thing. How is this one jumping from one machine to the next?

was gonna mention the xfiles episodes (s1e7 ghost in the machine and s5e11 kill switch [the one written by william gibson]), which ghost in the machine i mentioned previously because spn s2e5 had an actor in that episode! and i did i hiky for kill switch when i was rewatching xf. but i'm trying to stop rambling. unsuccessfully 🫠

so this seems more like a kill switch situation vs ghost in the machine (evil building software vs ai on the internet killing people) 🤪

SAM It doesn’t matter. Now I’m going through her deleted files. DEAN You can do that? SAM Yeah. DEAN Hmm. SAM I mean, nothing ever really gets deleted from the Internet. You knew that, right? DEAN Yeah.

implied embarrassing (porn? tumblr poetry? DATING PROFILES?) dean winchester content out there somewhere. thinking about what could even embarrass dean (who currently is eating more sloppily than my kids do)

DELILAH It’s pretty crazy to obsess over someone you’ve never met. DEAN It’s not that crazy. The truth is, I can relate. DELILAH Really? DEAN I have made more mistakes than I can count. Ones that haunt me day and night. DELILAH So… how do you deal? DEAN Whiskey. Denial. I do my best to make things right, whatever that may be. For you, maybe it’s…maybe it’s coming clean. You know, finding a way to ask for forgiveness. But not breaking the bank at your local florist. I mean…real forgiveness. You can’t just bury stuff like this. You got to deal with it.

that old chestnut of opening up to a rando because their plotline mirrors enough the conflict that the boys are going through and they can't talk to anyone else about it

so, dean, my love. is this what you're doing, dealing?

also gonna skip over that whole shaky concept of the wifi business. keep on suspending that disbelief, nic. wireless speakers and wifi on an antenna tower (??), it's all the same. it's just waves in the air, man. i am a leaf on the wind 🍃

DEAN Yeah. Looks like. I think I’m gonna follow his lead, too. SAM What do you mean? DEAN My peace is helping people. Working cases. That’s all I want to do. SAM Is this about the Mark? DEAN I’m done trying to find a cure, Sammy. SAM Dean, Cas is so close. DEAN To what? We don’t even know if there is a cure. So far, we’ve got nothing. We have found nothing at the Men of Letters library. Metatron may or may not know something. And maybe Cas is on to something with Cain. SAM Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Nothing is guaranteed, Dean. So what? We can’t just stop fighting. DEAN Yes, we can. SAM So, this is it? Y-you’re just gonna – you’re just gonna give up. DEAN No. No, I’m not just gonna give up. I appreciate the effort, okay? I do. But the answer is not out there. It’s with me. I need to be the one calling the shots here, okay? I can’t keep waking up every morning with this false hope. I got to know where I stand. Otherwise, I’m gonna lose my freakin’ mind. So I’m gonna fight it til I can’t fight it anymore. And when all is said and done… I’ll go down swinging.

sam and i both getting a little panicked i think (seeing sam start breathing fast surely affects me) but hey they got a few tears out of me, feels like an accomplishment (compared to early seasons i was regularly crying my way through the show). nothing like dean being a realist but also accepting that this thing is going to kill him. i get the false hope thing, and why it's untenable. and maybe that is the best plan, to fully accept in his heart of hearts it's not gonna get fixed. and then when they figure out how to fix it, he can run with it. but it's shades of that old passive self destructive dean who doesn't value his own life (or see how him not valuing his life affects sam)

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 10x13 #halt and catch fire #the xfiles #spn 1x09 #eric charmelo #nicole snyder

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xinambercladx · 10 months

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I'd look that way at him too, Officer...

What a man.

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.................

What .............

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man!

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................... If you made it this far, I assume you actually follow my blog. At this point, I warn you, I'm going on a rant about something I'm very not happy about. You have been warned. If she sees this, then whatever. She and I disagree on a lot of things, but this really pissed me off. ............................

........

.........

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who wants him to be just HIM. No overthinking or overanalyzing or projecting. The worst I project on him is being a foodie. Maybe that's why I've been slowly disappearing from the rest of the fandom. I can't simp over their versions of him. I have to put their versions of him in a separate box, far, far removed from my version and the canon version. I just can't see him as sad and pathetic. I need him to have that controlled danger. I need him to be strong for me. He's one of the few things that brings me comfort, like he could protect me from all the uncertainty in my life. "Everything'll be alright, lil' lady. Just sit tight now." ......

Just read a post about my blorbo getting torn to shreds by grasping of straws. You just... how can you be so desperate to emasculate the manliest of men? His guns are rusty? Where? I don't see any rust. It's just the type of metal the light. Zoom in, I dare you. His guns aren't rusty at all on that junkyard night scene that took place mere hours before. Get real.Crying over his mentor? They were rivals, not lovers. There is literally no evidence for your fan-girl forced ship. There's only mentions that they used to work together. That's it. And by now? He's killed so many copies, he's desensitized by now. He owed his mentor a few favors, but he works with his son out of obligation. It's well established that he's obsessed with getting even, getting paid, and getting on with the next job. Speaking of sentimental... Yeah no. That's not his journal or coins or medallions. Check the context of where the little girl found her confiscated phone. That's right. She found it with the other confiscated items. The journal and medallion and the phone were items that once belonged to his bounties in a compartment in the same room as the holding cells. Why, answer me, would he keep anything remotely as personal as his own journal within reach of a prisoner? He wouldn't. Because those items once belonged to prisoners, not himself. He'd probably pawn off everything in there without a second thought for money.I don't think Cleef gave two shits about his mentor's son. He might have thought it entertaining for a while, but after being betrayed, he most definitely gave a shit, but for revenge, not for old time's sake. Even when Cleef killed his childhood best friend, or rather, had his friend kill himself for betraying him, he "wasn't in the celebrating mood". Was he crying then? About someone he was best friends with once? No. Not one tear. Cleef, who is obviously not who I'm really talking about, is who the character is based on. Every single character that Cleef portrayed in old westerns was badass, stoic, and old school masculine. Stoics aren't crybabies going "boo hoo, I'm just a sad, lonely cowboy with no friends." Shut uuup. Show that essay to any self respecting man and they'll roll their eyes all the way to the ocean. He's maybe salty about it, but not with fucking tears. "That's all I've got fer today. GO AWAY NOW."

Stop degrading him.

#what a man

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witchthewriter · 2 years

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Hey love, I wanted to ask if you could write me some ships pls?🤍🌿

Fandoms would be: Grishaverse, Harry Potter and LotR (I didn't see it on your ship list, so if you don't write for those characters, you could pick a Marvel character)✨️

My pronouns are she/her, infj, Aries ☀️ leo 🌙 libra ⬆️, I'm bisexual (tho mostly attracted to men) and a hufflepuff.

Physical description: I'm 5'4", 20 years old, I've got very long dark brown hair down to my butt, my eyes are also dark brown. I've got tan skin. Not a size 0 but I'm quite happy with my figure. I don't personally think I'm that short, but my friends are all taller than me.

Character: I can be a bit shy and awkward at first, but I've gotten a little more confident over the years. I overthink a lot, sometimes my brain can't stop running in circles. That's why I'm not a very spontaneous person, I might say I'll do something but the closer that moment comes, the more hesitant I get. I can get angry very fast (fire signs complicating my life) and I may not forget, but I certainly forgive. I'm smart and a quick learner. I'm also stubborn and don't cope well with being criticised by friends or family.

Hobbies: I like staying in reading or watching films, I'm very excited for autumn, cause I just moved to a very woodsy place. I'm studying textile design, so I like knitting, sewing, crafting, I started making my own clothes a few years ago. Other than that I also draw a lot. I played a few instruments in my life, currently trying to teach myself how to play the ukulele, and I like singing (don't know if I'm good tho). I'm interested in mythologies and really enjoy watching documentaries about different civilisations and ages. I love period dramas and am obsessed with historical fashions. I like cooking but don't like doing the dishes afterwards.

Okay, that's all I can think of🤍🥲 I'd be so happy if I could get a ship from you! I already read some of your writing and you're so damn talented!

Thank you so much and I hope you have a lovely day !!🤍✨️

Want to be shipped? Here be the instructions 🦋

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏: ✧ Chivalrous ✧ Brave ✧ Good-hearted ✧ Stubborn ✧ Gryffindors

𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Matthias Helvar! I think you would suit characters that have a noble, chivalrous personality. Someone who would always do good by you, no matter what.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・He is SO PROTECTIVE OF YOU. And I mean overly - on multiple occassions you’ve had to command, “Druskelle,” while grabbing his arm. He’s honestly like a guard dog.

・He loves eating and always overbuys; so you never feel hungry because there’s always a feast

・You love making him blush, and he’ll pretend to hate it. But really he absolutely loves it.

・He is actually very very funny. It’s a lot of witty remarks and blunt statements. It takes you aback, but you always laugh. Because he doesn’t mean it to be funny, he’s just saying what he thinks

・Relationship Tropes:

✧ Big Reserved x Smol Fiery

✧ Mutual Pining But Neither Saying Anything Until A Dangerous Event Happens

✧ Would Die For The Other

𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Harry Potter! I think you two would have a very genuine, authentic relationship. He would be so excited to have someone - a person who he can call family and feel secure with.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・With Harry’s inheritance from his parents’, and along with your in put, you guys are able to buy your own house from a young age (4 years after the Battle of Hogwarts)

・It’s very cottage-like, and Harry wanted it that way because he always felt safe at the Burrow. So having aspects that reflect the Weasley’s made him immensely happy.

・Definitely buying pets, and Harry is a bit hesitant at first but you’re so excited.

・He’s probably an auror, and whatever job you choose, you would come home to a tired yet happy Harry, whose already started on dinner.

“Honey, aren’t you tired?” You cooed, coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Not too tired for food,” he replied, turn in your arms and kissing your forehead.

・On your one year anniversary, he gave you a beautiful necklace with a gorgeous pendant. It was a sapphire stone laid in an oval gold plating that seemed to be enchanted, because it glittered even in the darkness. (Hermione helped him ... he knew what he wanted to get you, but he knew Hermione could make it even better. So the enchantment isn’t just for beauty but also for protection).

𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Arwen! I just think you need someone with a soft touch, but is also ready to fight when necessary. She would always protect you, but nurture and care for you as well.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・She loves braiding your hair; her hands are so soft and her nails gently scratch your scalp. It’s in those moments when you understand why dogs allowed themselves to be pets

・She gives you the MOST SOFT YET MEANINGFUL KISSES. LOOK HOW PLUMP HER LIPS ARE. THEY LOOK SO SOFT AND KISSABLE

・Gives you a weapon and makes sure you know how to use it

・Teaching you words in Elvish and giving each other pet names in the language

・Playing with her hands and she feels giddy because Elves aren’t very affectionate.

#ships #let me ship you #match ups #open

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mhokday · 1 year

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HI NICOLE HI!!!!!! since we're getting our boys back, is there anything in particular you want to see for the puentalay episode in our skyy? also do you think we're getting another color title for it 👀

MONICA HIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay i'm gonna be honest. i completely did not expect to see puentalay ever again. no movie no special ep NOTHING so i never thought of what i would want to see of them. and also, vice versa left me completely and 100% SATISFIED. there's nothing more i would wish for.

however... one thing i did really want to see, but which i doubt will happen since it might be too random to address this, is the bucket hat scene being brought up again. okay so puentalay's meet cute is my favorite scene in the series, wbk. i love it, am obsessed with it, probably rewatched it fifty times after ep 1 aired. we saw puen realizing that talay is the one who gave him the hat, and that is my second favorite scene in the series. we saw puen finding the hat again when he went back to their universe. BUT WE NEVER SAW TALAY ADDRESSING THAT SCENE AT ALL AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL SICK. my biggest bone to pick with vice versa. i want puen to bring it up again. i want talay to be embarrassed about it. give me all the bucket hat references.

but anyways, i don't think that'll be brought up again. it's been a long time since i've watched an our skyy episode, but as far as i can remember it's kind of just a little side story that really doesn't have much relevance to the main plot? and i don't think they have many callbacks to old moments, that's a reason why i feel like the bucket hat scene won't be brought up. but again it's been a LONGGG time since i've watched an our skyy episode so i could be totally wrong! or maybe p'aof wants to do something different this time, who knows!

aside from that, i realllly hope we do have color elements in the episode. my worse fear is that not happening, but color is the staple behind vice versa, and if i don't get another color, i will cry. at the same time i'm not expecting a color title. colors are so specific to vice versa and i also expect the tone of every episode in our skyy 2 to be kind of similar to each other, so they might not put that extra care and effort to do the color thing with vv? i'm a pessimist at heart, but who knows, i'd love to be proven wrong. i would absolutely LOVE to see rainbow. but if not that, i would really like to see a brown or purple color for the episode title because we didn't get those in vv and i really wanted to see them!!!

but yeah, i don't need much out of this, just give me puentalay back being happy and cute and i will be very satisfied!

i do have a fear. a little tiny fear. in the our skyy 2 trailer, we see the hourglass.

when puen flips it, the sand moves, which is kind of ... scary. because in ep 12, he froze the sand in the glass to signify that they would never travel universes again. the movement of the sand represents universe traveling... you know where this is going.

also, talay is wearing earrings in the trailer...

he only wears earrings in the other universe, not the home universe. so yeah, i'm a bit worried that they're going to go back to the alternate universe. if they do, it'll be pretty gimmicky and i'll just try to have fun with it and not take it seriously, but yeah, that's my one fear. it's just a trailer though i don't even know if the plot has been thought out for it yet, so it might just be me overthinking.

anyways those are my thoughts!! monica monica monica im SO EXCITED to see them again! and im curious about your thoughts too :D

#ask #stormyoceans #vice versa #puentalay

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chlo3sevigny · 2 years

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thoughts on antonoff's ubiquity in the pop music industry and 'midnights'

imo his synth and reverb obsession works perfectly with this album. to me the whole idea of sleepless nights spent on overthinking has the feeling of blurred perception of time and space, while the only sound you hear is your voice echoing inside your head with no release. so in my terms, this was the best stylistic choice for this album, but of course it's not the case with some music he's produced in the past.

like 'sling' and 'solar power'.

first of all, who even let him enter the production room? he should've stayed away from those projects and let other people guide clairo and lorde on those albums bc he just doesn't have the ability to work well within certain music genres. also i think he produced too much music in last 3 years – excluding 2022 – and got too repetitive with no room left for experimenation.

but from what i see, he didn't really do much last year and in 2022 we only got the minions soundtrack (lmao), 'midnights' and the 1975's album. imo all of them turned out great, so i'll just stick with the theory jack shouldn't produce too much within a certain period of time.

since i've mentioned 1975 i can't just leave it like that and i HAVE TO say jack's done an AMAZING work in reviving their old sound, without making it feel outdated. the 1975've been heavily influenced by the 80s since the first eps, so jack's input here is unquestionably appropriate. he helped them find the balance between the sound that essentially helped them get into mainstream and their following exploration of their own voice. imo this was the greatest move they could've pull rn – marketing- and music-wise.

current tumblr revival and 30-year-olds quarter-life crisis of og tumblr girlies is the perfect moment for bringing back the memories of carefree teenage days spent on the internet and listening to the 1975's self titled album. and i think it wasn't on accident – matty's too self aware to even think he didn't expect the new album to become fans' new favourite. he knows his listeners thanks to being chronically online. calling a song a continuation of 'robbers'? yeah it's no coincidence.

so did they do a right thing by bringing antonoff to this project? absolutely. i can't imagine anyone else helping them get back to their best.

but did taylor do a right thing? imo – yes. jack's one of her best friends, which probably helped her touch on so many triggering themes. all in all, the whole album is about topics that didn't let her sleep at night. is it repetitive? somehow. there are many melodies that bring to mind some of her older songs, but to me it's a good thing, because i feel like 'midnights' is not an era on its own, but more of a glue connecting her previous albums and kind of a closing chapter for taylor.

lyrically, themes on the albums are not new to us. musically, we can pinpoint to the specific album a song remind us of. and that's why i don't think any producer would work here. it had to be someone, who taylor trusts. someone who knows her and views her as more than just a music sensation, because this album wasn't meant to be a new era for taylor. she's happy, she's healing and she just wants to make music. and this time it felt like the music was supposed to serve as the closing door to her nightmares of the last 10+ years.

even though both the 1975's and taylor's album are filled with antonoff's synths and reverbs, it's not a bad thing. these exertions work great for both artists and their current music motifs. but should antonoff work with every single mainstream indie pop artist? obviously not. imo he should say no more often and focus on projects which would benefit from his distinctive music likings, and not just every mainstream pop albums that's trying to flirt with indie influences.

anyway. antonoff fed me good these last two weeks. i feel like i'm 17 again and never want to die.

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st6rgirrl · 1 year

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my intro no. 3 or smth

fun fact: this post is sponsored by my insomniac issues and weird humor, enjoy WELCOME TO MY BLOG :) i support all races, genders, sexualities, and if you don't, i suggest you exit 🤗

✻　about alias and pronouns: you can call me nicole, nini, or coli. she/her. i'm a taurus personality type: infp-t. chloreic-melancholic. chaotic good. gryffindor.

im an asian-american bi-curious disaster teen with a mouthful of vulgar language and a head full of dreamscapes and colors, and a fanfic enthusiast. i tend to drown myself in overthinking and fake scenarios. you'll probably see me leaning on the wall of a cafe on a rainy evening while reading something like the bell jar or anything that involves a depressed lesbian woman from the 1900s (it's weird, i know). i'm often lost in my head and losing my grip to reality because reality hurts. despite the fact that i'm a dreamer, i have high expectations for my future (such as becoming a marvel actress in my late teenage years and meeting THe ZeNdaYAaa). anyways...

i am a mcu fanatic. in fact, the reason why i'm not straight is because of scarlett johansson as the black widow in captain america: civil war (i mean how can a woman look so beautiful). i am in love with middle aged/early thirties female celebrities (taylor swift, anne hathaway, scarlett johansson, kristen stewart, rihanna, lizzie olsen, i could go on and on), and also with old men that fought in world war ii (bucky barnes and steve rogers). it's kind of weird. also i'm obsessed with tom holland and zendaya. VERRRY obsessed.

i write spideychelle fanfics iykik

dni list: any homophobic/transphobic/whateversexualityphobic person. y'all are not welcome.

anon is always open! 💕

✻　favorites flower: lily of the valley season: autumn (think about it-- cloudy skies, red and orange leaves everywhere you go, doc martens against scattering pavement, scraps of waxy parchment under fingers, the cool crisp air) or maybe summer (cardboard cutouts of the city under rooftops, hot mid july air, that kind of sugar high you get without illegal shit, dragonflies landing on spllitered wood, sunlight streaking across green hills) holiday: christmas ⭐ scent: the yellowing pages of an old book, laundry detergent (idk it smells good ok) tv show: wandavision or gilmore girls movies: oh sweetheart i have so many... (spider-man: homecoming, captain america: civil war, black widow, thor: ragnarok, basically ANy MARvEl mOVie, 10 things i hate about you, twilight etc) model: def naomi campbell colors: platinum, periwinkle, midnight blue, garnet red, maroon books: OMFG (the bell jar, the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, villette by charlotte bronte, so basically any 20th century queer women's book, my year of rest and relaxation, the harry potter series, red white and royal blue, normal people etcetc) actors/actresses: ZENDAYA (seriously how does someone that hot exist), kristen stewart, tom holland, chris evans, scarlett johansson, anya taylor joy aesthetics: downtown girl, chaotic academia, messy french girl, uptown girl, divine feminine animals: cats and dogs!! MUSIC ARTISTS: taylor swift, lana del rey, arctic monkeys, girl in red, lou reed, deftones, phoebe bridgers, mazzy star, dream ivory, cigarettes after sex, ariana grande, taylor swift (yeah i mentioned her again but cmon) comfort characters: natasha romanoff, yelena belova, michelle jones-watson, peter parker, tony stark, remus lupin, luna lovegood, mia thermopolis, lane kim cities: new york city, paris, london, austin, los angeles, rome

✻　faq what do you look for in a significant other? what's most important: that i'm comfortable with them. i can laugh and be carefree. they have to be cute and shit, but also kind and funny, sort of chaotic (like me when i'm not shy). the thing i want to do the most is just to hang out, to laugh and feel giddy, to do the cheesiest things like dancing in the rain and watching sunsets and sunrises and doing each others makeup (if they do makeup), and watch early 2000s rom coms and do a marvel movie marathon. im sorry ok how much do you curse? um, it depends. on who is around. if i'm with my wild and unruly friends then i'm the most vulgar of them all, it's actually kind of disturbing but i get really proud when i use 289237479238 vulgar words in a 5-word sentence (how is that possible, you say? well hon everything is possible so). if i'm around my parents, then i'm as clean as a christian minecraft server that you can lick it off the floor (if that fancies you, darlin') (god why did i become british for a sec there). if i'm with people i'm not very familiar with, then it depends on how much they curse. least favorite things/pet peeves? I HATE IT when someone mistakes the lyrics for a song that i know and keep on going. idk but it just gets on my nerves a lot, so beware. especially a taylor song. also, maybe irrelevant but i absolutely despise sad endings in a movie. surprising because i've married to marvel, divorced it, and married it again, had five kids with it (why did i say that god). but still, hate sad endings bc i'm the most tear-sensitive piece of shit you'll ever meet. i cried reading a dog man comic book at age 12. don't ask. future dream? become a marvel actress in late teens, meet and work with tom holland and zendaya (who will both be, hopefully, husband and wife), also simultaneously get into a sapphic summer film about a depressed teen and a lesbian hot chick, meet the love of my life by film and eventually die happy. doubtfully ambitious, i know. i should be a slytherin.

OK BYE FOR NOW 🐸🧶🎨🌌⭐

#self intro #downtown girl #i dont know #girlboss #thank you for joining my ted talk #and for reading all this

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monniemonniee · 2 months

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track × 02

so my journal title is a work in progress right now. not really sure what to call it for now, but journal would be fine !!!

and i'm not sure if i should keep track of it via numbering ? so i'll see how it goes for now.

ok so for

|| daily updates ||

firstly--i did it again. i hit my rock bottom. watched youtube again mindlessly. got upset over something and i just lost track of what i wanted to do. it's just so easy to let loose and become braindead with youtube. i want to lessen the urge to just instinctively open youtube instead (especially when i'm upset)

next is i guess over something old, but it's positive !! 'm not expecting anyone to understand, but i'm always slighted by my own feelings. i'm easily infatuated with people. get anxious talking to someone i'm aware i like. and i get dumb and all talking to them-- but that's in the past.

however, the past greeted me this day.

not exactly. i simply saw the guy i liked again (and awkwardly, pathetically, obscenely did i do that) and well- never approached him.

was that bad ? at the moment for me-- it was victory. when i say i'm obsessive, i mean it. but i do it, subtly (?) i mean, kind of, not exactly. like i actively avoid people i like, and tremendously give them my attention when we're talking so it's like a hot and cold situation. so maybe, sure, they could be aware and i'm simply a big f*cking idiot when it comes to people i want romantically.

so yes, i basically told myself i won't look. i won't keep looking. i won't stare. that's because it's my signature thing--staring. i love staring at people i'm interested in. creepy ? probably. i'm aware it's darned pathetic.

"but op ?1?1? just TALK to them !?!?" NAAHHH. Y'ALL I SAY THE MOST IDIOTIC THING EVERRR NAH NAH DOESN'T HELP I'M AWKWARD EITHER LIKE BRO WHAT DO YOU MEAN STARING ISN'T A VIABLE ANSWER TO THE DEEPEST QUESTIOMS EVER ???

so that's when i decided it's fine--i won this battle.

B*TCH !!! AGAINST WHO ??? you aren't winning anything when you kept convincing yourself NOT TO do the thing. you still kept overthinking it like a dog chasing its own tail GRRRRRRR.

or maybe i did ?

not sure.

but i guess, now that i'm thinking about it, maybe it was just a neutral thing.

then, what would actually be the line of victory ?

like--i usually avoid people. so. it's not anything new I DIDN'T DO.

but i did stop trying to search for the person multiple times. maybe one look slipped by-- BUT THAT'S LESS than i would've done if i had been still interested in them.

and this is the same person who edited the said person's pictures on the excuse that they're "practicing" editing (but in reality really just wanted to damned stare) (i know you, you're physically revolting right now--DON'T START WITH ME)

and wow. so much for convincing yourself you've actually grown over them.

when it's clear that you dedicated more than half this space to think about them 1?1!??1 (WHAAAATT)

honestly ? it's part of the process. think about it a lot until ya can't.

but anyways, that's mostly it :]] i'll edit and update once i think about it more.

#journal

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