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queerregulusablack · 2 years

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Okay initially yes I was going to make a long, carefully reasoned post about the ask Jude was sent and how it’s a symptom of a much large problem ie fandom entitlement and parasocial relationships with writers and the shoehorning of popular fanfic authors into the role of celebrity or ‘content creator’. I skeletoned it. It’s still sitting in my drafts.

But I’ve had a trying day and even after sitting on it for over six hours I’m still heated, so this is what we get instead.

This is the kind of thing that kills fandoms.

I like to joke that I am ‘old man yells at cloud’ in the Marauders fandom, because I’m closer to the top end of the age range here, and I’ve been doing the fandom thing for more than a decade. I’ve got buckets of experience; very little fandom nonsense is new to me, regardless of it’s twists and turns.

So when I say this, I say it with enough experience to know it to be true; this sense of entitlement, and this callous, uncaring treatment of the artists who create for this fandom, is exactly the kind of thing that kills fandoms.

It makes writers stop wanting to write. It makes artists stop drawing. It makes the people responsible for funny incorrect quotes blogs leave their pages for greener pastures. It’s not just rude, and arrogant, and honestly pretty damn cruel; it kills joy, and motivation, and it will drive this fandom into the ground.

Jude doesn’t owe you anything. Zar doesn’t, Yaz doesn’t, no artist, participating in any fandom, owes you a single thing. They create their art for free. You are lucky to get a word of it; you should be incredibly grateful they post anything at all, because for a lot of fandoms people just don’t. Off the top of my head I can think of two separate fandoms where I and a friend built a ship tag from the ground up, because no one else was writing for them, and so believe me when I say that you should be enormously grateful for every scrap of content you receive.

You should not be demanding more. You certainly shouldn’t be dictating when anyone shares their art, or talking to them like theirs is just ‘filler’ for the gaps between updates by a person you prefer.

I cannot put into words how rude that is. How awful that is. It is so, so entitled and unpleasant to think you have the right to do anything even close to that.

At the end of the day, these are people using up many hours of their limited personal lives to create art, for free, that they are under no obligation to share with you but do anyway out of the kindness of their hearts. It doesn’t matter what your personal preference is, it doesn’t matter how personable and willing to talk to you they are, it is still their creation. They decide when it comes out, and how it comes out, and every snippet is an absolute gift; and I do not know how to fully express how absurd it is to bite at the hand feeding you so generously, and for fucking FREE.

I do think the readiness of so many popular Marauders authors to interact with fandom the way they do, with their open askboxes - with anon on for some! - is a mind-boggling phenomenon. I think it’s wonderful.

If you keep this kind of behaviour up, it is another thing you are going to lose.

The writers you’re talking to are people. They’re not cleverly concealed AI churning out content for clicks; no one pays them. They are human beings, sacrificing their time to create, and offering up the stories they have lovingly crafted to you for no reason other than because they love what they’ve made and want to share it, because they think you might love it too.

I cannot physically comprehend the sheer audacity required to spit in the face of that.

Treat your authors better. Respect the fact that they have lives, remember that they don’t owe you shit, and if you cannot say anything to them that is not basic-level respectful and kind, don’t say anything at all.

Or you will lose all of this. And you’ll have no one to blame but yourselves.

#old man yells at cloud #marauders era #personally I think the update queries Zar and that get flooded with toe the line of being Super Cheeky #but if they're fine with it then that's their choice and I'll keep mum about it #but what was said to Jude was Not Okay #and I'm not feeling charitable about it so there is no benefit of the doubt in this post #if you're old enough to be talking to strangers on the internet you're old enough to watch your tone in asks #and not be a dickhead #if you don't treat your authors well they will Leave The Fandom #I've seen it. I've Done It.#Do better.

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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reasonsforhope · 1 month

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By the way, I would literally bet money that we're going to successfully keep global warming below 2 degrees celsius.

Would I bet my whole savings on it? No, not yet. But the way the data is trending, in two or three years, I very well might.

#good numbers keep going up at a rate that is drastically higher than expected #and that rate is going to keep increasing #metaphorically ofc I don't gamble with that kind of money lol #but seriously #I WOULD bet money that we will keep the increase under two degrees celsius #based on all the news and articles I've seen and all the research I've done #SHOUTOUT TO EXPONENTIAL CURVES #COME SAVE OUR ASSES EXPONENTIAL CURVES #lay translation of that is #not news #climate change #climate anxiety #me #climate hope #global warming

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theminecraftbee · 10 months

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incidentally. every time i see someone speculating about "what if the season ends soon". i know we're safe for the time being and don't have to worry. because tango doesn't understand the idea of "good enough" and as a result if the season ends before decked out 2 has been played for its entire two-month run, he legally would be allowed to become a serial killer. and like, he lives near impulse and skizz, and maybe they're acceptable losses, but the entire state of arizona isn't. and who knows. maybe more. and the hermits can't be responsible for tango murdering the entire state of arizona (and who knows maybe more). they just can't. so the season can't end yet. because decked out 2 isn't done. and hasn't been played for its entire run yet. because the fate of arizona depends on it. you understand, right?

#hermitcraft #tangotek #is this funnier if i remembered what state tango lives in wrong #anyway also joe's pinball machine isn't done yet and I PERSONALLY would become a serial killer if he doesn't get the chance to finish more #but i've seen some 'huh it seems like lots of people are wrapping up' talk in a few places #and listen. tango would be allowed to start eating people. we can't be responsible for that.

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golyadkin · 9 months

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I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr

not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work

believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody

#not art #listen #for real #this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people #you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here #every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it #that never see my cursor close to the save button #i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person #i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me #because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art #is by doing it for the sake of doing it #not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare #anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse #but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website #stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags #your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that #if you're an artist for a living that's another story #but even then #even then #anyways sorry i'm done ranting

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romanovanatalia · 4 months

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"There is no greater love than to give one's life for friends."

SOCIETY OF THE SNOW (2023) dir. J. A. Bayona

#society of the snow #filmgifs #filmedit #moviegifs #fyeahmovies #tvfilmsource #cinemapix #dailyflicks #dailyfilmsource #filmtvtoday #filmtv #mine #*#i literally won't shut up about this film #as an argentinian i've known the tragedy or miracle of the andes since i was a little child #i read alive! when i was about 7 yo watched the film and then read nando parrado's book when i was 10 yo #and this is the first time i've seen it perfectly capturates what they went through; it's the first time a film about the andes has a soul #it's just so masterfully done #congrats bayona he did it again

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beif0ngs · 4 months

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Netflix producers coming up with the title of the anime remake of One Piece like—

#One Piece #The One Piece #i've never seen a more extra 'the' in my life lmao #also lowkey judging people who were excited for the OPLA but suddenly draw the line at an anime remake??#i would choose an anime remake any F*CKING day over a live action adaptation 🙄#it's literally what i've been PRAYING for #i just didn't expect them to drop it while the original anime is still airing and not even close to being done

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critter-of-habit · 7 months

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Okay but where can I adopt oneS

#Big dumb doggo #Sabine Wren #Ahsoka #Ahsoka spoilers #Mine #Art #my art #is this the fastest I've done fanart?? maybe so!#my eyes hurt #ever seen a horse sitting?#thats what I reffed for this lmao #I know he has dog legs shhhh #SWart

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beets · 20 days

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baby, bi bi bi

#911 #911edit #evan buckley #buddie #this has been in my drafts for months bc i'm the slowest gif maker in the world and bad at finishing things (wanted to get it done before #s7 oops) but it's even more apt now ig even though i've seen like 6 other versions of it out there already. oh well here's mine #(and bonus i got to include those last two gifs so it worked out)#sorry again that the lone star one is such shit quality i literally can't find a hq version of that episode idk what to tell you #there are things missing from this but i just wanna post it before next episode and i need to go to bed i have to work tomorrow bye (bi bi)#beets.gif

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killjoy-prince · 2 months

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House M.D. but it's when Wilson says House's name

#house md #james wilson #prince's talk tag #finally!!! it's done! this and the house version took almost two weeks to do #first off thank you to the clinic-duty team on livejournal for making the transcripts for these episodes #because this video would be near impossible to make without their clear transcripts. I hope y'all are doing well #ive been reading a lot of fics with these two and i see how the authors have the characters refer to each other in their fics #and that got me wondering how much do they say each other's name in the show and how do they refer to each other #since this is the wilson video ill put his stats here #s1 was 11 times s2 was 18 s3 was 45 s4 was 32 s5 was 41 s6 was 60 s7 was 47 and s8 was 48 #in total he says his name 302 times. Mostly refers to him just by House #the only time I've heard him say his first name its when he's being professional or when he's really angry (and that one time he proposed)#and even then it's always the full name not just the first name #the only instance I've seen him use just his first name was on that note he put on House's xmas gift that we see in season 5 #and as much as I wanted to put that moment in here he never actually says the contents of the note out loud so i had to leave it out #but what surprised me was he says House's name more than House says his name #especially when the earlier seasons didn't have him say his name as much

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mynnub-blog · 1 year

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The hug to end all hugs <3

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eclypseaf · 2 months

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guess whose fault it is

#my art #art #tmagp #tmagp fanart #the magnus protocol #magpod #samama khalid #alice dyer #sam khalid #fanart #barbie meme #i feel like this has been done already and i havent seen it #or i'm really late to this meme #either way enjoy #this is one of the silliest things i've ever drawn and i regret how much time and effort actually went into it #i love it

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alleiwentcrazy · 1 year

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Now with a part two!

There’s a guy that comes to the cafe Eddie’s working at. Every other day, he comes to the counter, smiles at Eddie and gives him a post-it with “hi, an americano with two sugars please :)” written on it. He has a different color of post-it assigned for every day. Eddie smiles back and makes the americano, trying to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest.

Needless to say, the guy is insanely cute. He has swoopy chestnut hair, droopy, almost puppy-like eyes, and two moles on his neck that make him look like he’s been bitten by a vampire. Eddie’s not sure if he finds it more adorable or sexy; either way, he’s definitely developed a crush. And now, after months of trying to gather up his courage to say hi, after months of pining and staring from afar... He’s still nowhere near ready to talk to him. And Chrissy’s not letting him live it down.

“You’re insufferable,” she whispers to him frantically when the guy comes through the door on the first Monday of December. “Do something more than smile dumbly or I’ll fire you.”

“You can’t fire me,” Eddie hisses back as he tries to dust pastry crumbs off of his shirt.

“I’m the manager. I can do whatever I want,” she chirps back and goes on to cleaning the machines that don’t need to be cleaned, because Eddie did that twenty minutes ago.

The guy comes to the counter. There are snowflakes in his hair, big and soft. Eddie thinks that they compliment his eyes—then he realizes that it’s a weird thing to notice about a stranger.

The stranger smiles. Eddie smiles back. Today’s post-it is light purple.

Eddie makes the americano. It’s muscle memory at this point, he’s not even thinking about what he’s doing until he has to force a lid onto the cup and serve it to his customer. Hell, whatever. He grabs a sharpie and bends down to drabble something on the cup, trying not to spill the coffee. He manages to draw an ugly looking snake that was supposed to be a dragon, cringes, writes “Have a nice day!” underneath it and prays that it isn’t too weird.

Of course it is. But, miraculously, the guy looks at it, huffs a tiny laugh and smiles right at Eddie and – yeah, whatever, curse him – the whole room lights up. Yes, it’s sappy. Sue him. He could be sappy for this guy—if the guy wanted it.

He takes his coffee and leaves, but before he crosses the threshold, he turns back and waves at Eddie, using only three fingers. It’s a small wave, but a wave nonetheless, so Eddie sends him his best grin and waves back.

When he’s finally out, Eddie bends over the counter and groans. Chrissy pats him between the shoulderblades, mocking sympathy. “You’re on probation,” she whispers. Eddie groans once again. This is hell.

***

He has to call in sick on Wednesday. Now that he’s thinking about it, he kind of knew that the mayo smelled funny and it wasn’t good anymore. But he’s a broke college student and he had a choice: stale bread with mayo and a slice of tomato, or just stale bread with a slice of tomato. These weren’t even real choices. It was suffering or suffering.

Apparently, he’d chosen double suffering, and he had a whole night of hurling to prove it. Good thing he doesn’t have to send Chrissy any photos of what he had to deal with – when he calls, she cuts him off with “Just take my afternoon shift tomorrow and we’re even. You’ll miss out on your cutie, it’s a punishment in and of itself,” and goes on with her day.

Eddie’s so grateful for Chrissy. He wouldn’t get anywhere without her.

***

Eddie doesn’t expect his guy to come on Thursday, it isn’t his regular schedule, so he’s in for a surprise when his morning shift ends and turns into Chrissy’s afternoon shift, and then, some time later, his guy comes in—and he’s not alone.

He’s with a girl. With a pretty, pretty girl, who has beautifully curly brown hair, inquisitive eyes and kind but determined expression on her face. There’s something quite unique about her; Eddie thinks, briefly, that she looks like she’s from another era. Like if they were living in the 80s, she would have a perm, wear bold lipstick and have a whole wall of degrees and certificates in her office. She seems to be destined for great things. She’s a badass.

Eddie’s nothing like her. He tries to swallow down the jealousy as they near the counter. His – his? – guy looks surprised, but smiles either way, his eyes lighting up in a matter of seconds.

“Hi,” the girl says. Her own smile is so nice and warm Eddie can’t stay mopey for too long. “I’ll have a latte with two shots of espresso, and…”

She turns to the guy beside her, but Eddie doesn’t have to know the answer. “An americano with two sugars. On it.”

Their eyes lock for a second. The guy seems a bit shy, but he’s still smiling. Eddie counts that as a win. But he’s still quick with their coffees. He can sense the staring contest they’re having even while he has his back turned to them. He kinda wants them gone, but they didn’t ask for to go, so he just tries to stay calm. Focused. Sharp.

Fortunately, he doesn’t spill anything. They get their order and sit in a corner. It doesn’t look like a date, they pull out books and notes, scribble and sign from time to time. The girl clearly knows more than just the basics of ASL, unlike Eddie. Since the guy started showing up, he’s been trying to learn more about it, but now he makes a mental note to enroll on a course. It’s time to commit – to what, exactly, he’s not sure. But he’s gonna make it happen.

Hours pass, but they stay in the same position. Eddie steals a glance every now and then, trying not to let his jealousy get to the surface again, but it’s hard. The guy is cute, the girl is smart and beautiful. He decides to call Chrissy on his way home – if he has to pine, she’ll suffer with him.

The end of his shift is nearing when he hears a giggle from the godforsaken corner. He looks up from the cups he’s been rearranging and sees that it’s his guy’s girl who’s laughing. She’s laughing at yet another girl, who’s standing outside and drawing hearts on the dirty window. She has a goofy grin on her face, one that makes her eyes and her prominent cheekbones pop even more, and it’s the same grin that the girl inside is wearing at the moment.

Now, Eddie doesn’t know a lot about love, but he definitely recognizes heart eyes when he sees them. He smiles to himself – don’t judge a book by its cover, huh?

His guy looks exasperated about being completely ignored, so he taps the glass a few times. The girl outside looks at him, shocked, like she’s only just seen him now, sticks out her tongue at him, and goes back to blowing kisses at her girlfriend. The guy looks truly wounded. Eddie snorts; the dynamic here is immaculate.

In the meantime, the not-his-guy's girl has gathered her things and prepared to leave. She kisses his cheek on her way out, but the guy stays put, bending over his papers again. Eddie thinks it’s quite interesting. Then, he makes a plan.

When he’s done with work, his guy is still there. Which is perfect. Eddie fixes his hair one last time, trying to gauge whether his outfit is metal enough (it is) for the occasion, and grabs the americano with two sugars he’s made.

It’s alright. Everything’s alright.

His wildly beating heart isn’t so sure about that.

When he gets to his guy’s table, he sets the piece of paper on it first. “Looks like you’re swamped – it’s on the house,” it says. The guy looks up, surprised, his mouth opened in a tiny oh. His eyes go wide for a moment and then he smiles. Something warm settles inside Eddie’s chest.

The guy picks up a pen and writes “Thank you!!!” on Eddie’s piece of paper, but before giving it back, he changes his mind. “I’m Steve,” he scribbles, and then gives it back with a flash of smile.

He smiles a lot. It’s an amazing sight.

“Hello, Steve. I’m Eddie. Nice to meet you,” Eddie replies. “What are you working on?” he adds after a second, because he’s feeling bold and he really doesn’t want to go yet.

The guy – Steve – sighs. He makes some room on the loveseat he’s occupying and pushes his books to the middle. Eddie takes it as a cue to sit down. Their knees bump, Eddie gets goosebumps, but he doesn’t move away. Neither does Steve.

“I’ve got an assignment on modern fantasy and its mythological origins, but I’m not as nerdy as my friends so I’m struggling a bit. Nance helped, but she’s not an expert either and my other nerdy friends went for a trip. Maybe you have any experience?”

Eddie’s eyes open wide and he bounces with excitement, nodding his head along the way. “YES,” he writes, all caps, and Steve huffs another laugh. They look at each other then, Eddie all hyped and ready, Steve—soft? There’s no other way to describe it. His gaze is gentle, almost caring. Eddie can feel his cheeks warm up.

His phone buzzes aggressively in his pocket. He checks it – it’s Chrissy. She’s got her period and she’s out of tampons.

“Shit,” he mumbles. Steve bumps their shoulders.

“What’s up?” he asks.

Eddie picks up the pen. “Tiny emergency, I’m sorry. Tomorrow?”

He knows that his hopeful stare must seem desperate, but Steve reads his reply, looks up and smiles, nodding. Eddie wants to scream victory, but he only nods back and gets up instead. When he’s about to turn and leave, he feels fingers wrap around his hand, delicate but firm. Slowly, Steve opens up his hand and writes something on it.

It’s a phone number. “In case you get sick again :)”

Eddie can’t hold back his dopey smile any longer. When he looks at Steve, the corners of his lips quirk up too. He’s lovely.

Eddie can’t wait for tomorrow.

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