#IM PRETTY SURE THATS NOT THE CORRECT SPELLING BUT WHATEVER

[occultapples]

/ PERCY HOW ARE YOU THIS BAD AT MAKING FRIENDS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA /

- Befriend all Welcome Wagon neighbours [HOW?!]

#PERSEPHONY #IM PRETTY SURE THATS NOT THE CORRECT SPELLING BUT WHATEVER #PERCY!!!!! STOP JUDGING EVERYONE SO HARSHLY!!!!! #bobapplesimblrlepacy #Lepacy #gen 1 basegame #also there's a skelly #tw skeleton #cw skeleton

[ash-mars207]

~~MONKEYS TESTIES~~

((18+ smut))

jschlatts monkey balls statue x male reader. yeah. this was written as a joke but i spent way to much time on it so..

(dont show this to schlatt)

If you have any ideas to add or spelling corrections please comments. I genuinely can not spell for the life of me.

warnings: contains smut, gun play, cussing, mlmonkey, it’s literally monkey statue x reader. the title itself if a warning.

i did refere to jschlatt as ‘Jay’ because nicknames n shit. (it’s annoying to type out jschlatt everytime.) so if someone knows hes uncomfortable with it please tell me and ill fix it.

some backround: you and schlatt have been friends since before lunch club. like fresh out of highschool friends. you both went to college and when he was getting good money from twitch you tried it out. starting as his editor (you still do some of the editing). you both hit it off and both dropped out to make videos. so your a guest on OTKs new video with schlatt when he finally shows monkey.

Word count: 3238

((I had to turn on my auto caps for this. At least pretend to like it.))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/NS POV:

He was serious.. Schlatt was genuinely serious. When he told me he was gonna buy the monkey statue i thought he was kidding. I should have known. It is Schlatt after all.

“Hes a beaut aint he.”

“Schlatt what the hell. Your in debt and this is what you buy??”

“Eh. If harvard really wanted my money they would have sued me by now.”

“Thats not a good thing-“

“Anyways! We have a video to record so say your goodbyes to dick dong.”

“You fucking named it??”

As Schlatt walks out and to the office you take one last look at the ape. He looks like hes looking at you. And for some weird reason your just attracted to those big carved bronze eyes.

“Uh.. Bye monkey..”

The video was going pretty good. We had a bunch of fun little bits. Schlatt kept bringing up the damn monkey. The fucking monkey and his big golden balls. I wonder how nice it would feel to sit on them- YN WTF. NO. ITS A STATUE.

“Y/N!!!”

“Huh? What. What did i miss.”

“You good kid? You spaced out there. Should probably stop drinking the fireball.”

Of course i take another shot because fuck him (jokingly (we stan j man here)) and i can not let myself think these thoughts sober.

“Yeah yeah im fine.” Im not. “Just spacin out. Im good. What were we talking about?”

“Dick dong-“

“NOT THE FUCKING MONKEY- SCHLATT DONT- SIT YOUR ASS BACK DOWN- and hes gone.”

As im waiting for him to come back from god knows where i scroll on my phone while talking to camera man, whos name i forgot but feel to bad to ask, about what ever. And of course we both stop as we hear wheels rolling towards the room- he has the monkey..

“GUYS I GOT KING DICK DONG.”

Please let this video be over soon.

*small time skip*

For the rest of the video we talk about other things, keep coming back to the monkey, the gun gets into the bit, we wrestle or some shit idk. The camera man name is apparently Jermey had to go out and fix one of the cameras battery or something. But every once in a while i keep looking at that damned monkey.. I mean look at it. Its nice craft mens ship (i cant spell). As an artist myself, its nice. The bronze is so detailed and the gold is so. So shiny. Its nice to look at. Does Schlatt polish them? I would. They look soft.

“Y/n. Dude you sure your alright?”

“OH! Yeah im fine. Just a bit out of it. Ill be fine.”

“Hm.. Im gonna go get you some meds alright? Just stay here.”

Great. What i need right now is to be left alone in an office that i dont know.. whatever.

As im playing on my phone i hear metal moving around. And.. is that pink smoke??? What the hell did jschlatt put in that liquor.

“I see you looking at me. I know you want me yn.”

As i turn to look at where the voice is coming from schlatt walks in with the meds.

“This should hold you over for a while. God you got even whiter/paler while i was out. What did the pope come to life or something??”

“Uh.. no. No im good. Just a headache.” I have to force myself to look at schlatt and to stop looking around. What the hells gotten into me.

“Then lets get this shit over with.”

While recording the rest of the video i cant help but feel a pair of eyes on me the whole time. I try to ignore it while we finish the video. Once we finished we just chilled for a bit and talked about new video ideas and when we should hang out, with out the cameras. You know. Bro shit.

“Well i gotta get back to Jambo. Probably eatting more fucking magnets. Little shits gonna run me broke.” As schlatt stands up and walks towards the door he stops and turns to look at me. “You comin with?”

“In a bit. Im gonna start working on editing. I’ll meat you back at the house for dinner.”

“Alright. Don’t stay to long.”

As he walks out i turn to work on the computer. Putting my earbuds in i keep one out just in case. After about an hour or two i hear some type if metal being thrown around behind me an.. whos there.

THIRD PERSON POV:

While y/n was focusing on the computer, music blasting threw his earbuds, something was almost transforming behind him. He didnt notice it until he heard a bang coming from behind him. Being startled, he takes his earbuds out and turn to see a shadow of a freakishly large man in a cloud of pink smoke.

“Whos there!”

Y/n screams while jumping up for his own gun schlatt made him get for the bits. Aiming for the huge shadow.

“I see the way you look at me y/n. Thinking those dirty thought.”

The man speaks in a deep rock n roll voice. ‘Theres no way thats Jay. His voice isnt that deep.. Nor is he that. Big. Is this thing even human??’ Y/n asks himself while squinting to see the black figure.

“Who the fuck are you.”

“Wow. You really dont recognize me? You would thing you would know me after the hours of looking at me.”

‘What in the hell.’ As y/n cocks the gun the mysterious man leaps over the couch like nothing. Pushing the hand with the gun up, setting off a bullet in the process. Leaning in and kissing y/n.

Slowly yn loosens there grip on the gun while Dicky slides his hand up his wrist to take the gun out of the humans hand.

The shorter male pulls away to look at the taller male. (And i mean tall. Mans like 7 something. Your up to his chest and your like 6’3 cause i said so)

“Who.. who are you.”

While trying to connect the dots he spots the empty table that Schlatt rolled Dicky in on. Glancing down he sees that the balls do in fact glow a nice golden color. Dicky slowly smirking while watching yn connect the dots. Laughing a bit watching as the small man infront of him looks back up with his eyes widened.

“Dicky. How did you-“

“Dont worry about it. Just live those nasty fantasies of yours.”

Without skipping a second yn does what hes told and smashing his lips woth Dickys. Of course yn thought about how fucked this is. I mean its a monkey statue but. Human? Ish. He still has his tail and ears but damn.

As yns hands travel to lay on his soft, hairy chest Dickys hand grip his small hips tightly, leaving the other with the gun resting on his hip bone, making yn moan. Dicky takes this opportunity to shove his tongue into yns mouth. Exploring every single bit.

The bigger male pulled away letting them both breath, rubbing yns hips with his thumb.

“Fuck- you taste so fucking good darling.”

As Dicky murmured into yns ear, he starts kissing down his neck onto his collarbone. Yn started unraveling at the feeling, moving his hands up into Dickys hair. Slightly pulling every time he hit a sweet spot. Yn whimpers as the brunette pulled away to look into yns e/c eyes. “So beautiful.”

The beast reaches his hand to place on yns gentel skin. Yn leaning into the touch. Knowing how wrong this must be, yn cant help but feel so. Safe.

*click* “Now get on your knees for me darling.”

“What?”

Yn can feel the tip of the guns barrel press against his temple. And even though he should feel frightened, he still feels just as safe as he did before.

“Yes sir~”

Yn slowly gets on his knees while sliding his hands down Dicky causing him to grunt. Once yn is on his knees he looks up into the eyes of a lust struck mad man. Knowing what he needs to do next he waits for Dicky to demand it.

“Cmon sweetheart. You know what to do.”

“Do I?” Yn asks, trying to get his monkey lover riled up.

He grabs yns hair, pushing the gun into his temple even more. “Don't play with me brat.”

Yn knew he was in for it now. Slowly opening his mouth, he cups his hand on Dickys smooth glowing gold balls. Starting to message them while licking his tip. Dicky, with little to no patience, pushes his huge dick into yns mouth with a moan. Holding him there just for a moment before he lets go and let's yn take over. Almost.

Dicky still has the gun placed by his side facing the h/c man at his waist. Other hand sat on top of his head in case yn needed any more assistance. Slightly trusting into yns deep throat every now and then.

“God that feels perfect.”

Throwing his head back Dicky let out a moan. Yn started playing with his balls once again, speeding up. Before he could send Dicky over the edge, Dicky gripped his h/c pulling him off with a soft pop.

“Stand.” He demands. Yn listened of course.

Dicky starts kissing him once more with much more pasion while moving them over to the couch. Ripping off yns shirt, pushing him onto the couch only breaking contact for a moment. He reaches down to undo yns belt, button, and zipper. Palming him with only the cloth of his boxers in the way. “Ff- oh shit-“ yn became a moaning mess, Dicky moving to his chest/neck area. Playing with yns nipples, he rips off his pants leaving him in just his boxers. Looking back up to yn for consent to continue, yn nods, feeling his dick only get harder by the second.

“Shit- what if someone comes in-“

Before yn can voice his worries Dicky genuinely shoves the guns barrel into his mouth to keep him quiet.

“Then I guess you'll just have to be quiet.”

Dicky slowly inserting his finger into yn to prepare him, making let out small muffled moans. Seeing how easy the first finger slipped in, he added the second rather quickly.

Yn was falling apart underneath the bigger man. Nothing but clouds filled his mind untill he felt Dickys fingers being removed from him core, whining as he now felt empty.

“Quiet. Don't want anyone to hear you now do we.”

Yn nods as Dicky pounds his dick into yns entrance causing yn to let out a scream. Holding in that position to let yn adjust, he starts leaving little kisses over his neck. Removing the gun from yns mouth just to replace it with his lips. They stay there passionately kissing one another until Dicky starts moving his hips ever so slightly.

“Mmh.” Yn moans into the kiss throwing his arms around the bronze colored man, slightly digging his nails into his shoulders.

“Faster. Please.” He whispers into the kiss. Dicky pulls away to look into his e/c eyes.

“Wanna say that again darlin?”

“please dicky. Please just fuck me.”

As if on cue, Dicky starts slamming into his smaller lover. Yn starts almost screaming, clawing down Dickys large back, holding back screams as much as he can.

“FUCK RIGHT THERE!”

He howls right when Dicky finds his prostate. Abusing it to its fullest.

“Im- m close.” Yn manages to get out between moans. He lets go of Dicky with one arm to cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle his orgasm. Dicky, who already placed the gun to the side, grabs yns thin/thick wrists and holds them both above his head.

“I wanna hear those beautiful sounds baby.”

After a few more thrusts yn lets loose and cums over both his and Dickys chiseled stomach. Dicky continues chasing his own orgasm. Releasing inside of yn.

They both sit there catching there breaths before Dicky pulls away to look at his work,

“What a work of art.”

Yn chuckles, “Says you.”

As yn starts to get up to clean up the monkey man grabs his hips, placing him on his lap.

“Where not done here beautiful.”

“Dicky, I need to get home. Schlatts gonna start to worry.”

“He can wait. He's had you all day. It's my turn to play with you.” Dicky nibbles on yns neck once more. Yn places his hands on Dickys broad shoulders. Leaning his head back, letting out a soft moan. “One more round. Then I gotta go.” He kisses Dickys temple.

“That's my boy~”

Dicky grabs at yns hips and slowly lines his entrance to his tip. Kissing his neck.

“Mh- no. No its my turn to control.” “Is that so?” Dicky, calling his bluff, pushes into him even more to shut him up. “You fUck-“

Yn grabs the hairy man's hair, tugging at it. Causing Dicky to scream out of pure shock. Dicky picks the gun back up, pointing it at yns temple.

“Wanna try that shit again?” He growls out, trying to gain his dominance back.

“I fuckin dare you.” Yn states, gripping tighter to his curly locks. He starts lifting himself off Dickys dick just to slam back down. Slowly thrusting and grinding on his dick.

“God that feels so good-“ Dicky whines out gripping the guns handle and yns thigh for support. Yn wraps his free arm around the beasts shoulder, hiding his face into the crook of his neck. With his other hand he slides it up into Dickys hair even more. Tugging everytime he hit the perfect spot. Dicky, chasing an orgams, starts bucking into yn abusing his prostate.

“Damn it- fuck right there~” yn lets out quite moans into Dickys ear driving him other the edge.

“Just like that baby~ dont change a thing. Fuck im close~” Dicky announces. Yn only being able to let out moans and soft screams. His head full of lust and maybe even love.

Dicky once again throws the gun to the side. Tosing his arms around yn holding him close, almost bruising his ribs. His thrusting picks up. Yn lets go off the bigger males hair and thrown his other arm around his neck, digging his nails into his shoulders. With just a few more aggressive thrusts they both release almost at the same time.

Dicky softens his hold on yn to let his ride out his high. Slowly coming to a stop with. They both look into eachothers eyes. Sharing a quick but pasonint kiss. Yn melts into his chest, both hands sliding down to his cum covers abdomen.

“You doin alright there darlin?” Dicky plays with yns hair while rubbing his back. Kissing his forehead.

“M alright.. just need a moment.”

And so they sat there for a few minutes before yns phone started to ring. “Fuckin-.”

Reaching over to answer the call “hello?”

“Yn buddy! Where you at? Its been like three hours man.”

“Shit. Sorry. Ive been workin on the video.” Yn look to Dicky with a small smile while the other male has a huge grin on his face.

“Damnz better be a good bideo then. You need to get home though. Its late and youve got that recording with swagger and them in the morning.”

“Oh yeah i forgot about that one. Yeah im on my way.”

“Oh and jambo ate your papers.”

“WHAT?!”

“BYE-“ He hangs up before he can even finish his own sentence. “What was that about?” Dicky asks lookin down at a pissed yn.

“Schlatt. His dumbass cat ate my work.”

“Damn. You gonna be alright??” Dicky looking worried.

“Yeah? It's just a paper or two. If anything the cats in more trouble then I am. It's not anything important anyway . I keep those away. I do have to get home though.”

“Do you have to??”

Dicky holds yn toghter to keep him from leaving.

“Dicky. If i stay hes gonna start askin questions. And hes annoying when he does so ive gotta go. Ill be back soon dont worry.” Yn kisses Dicky before he gets off and cleans off with the jacket he brought. Getting dresses in his pants and shirt, makin his way to the door.

“Ill see you tomorrow Dicky,” blowing a kiss twoards the ape man. Waving goodbye and closing the door behind him.

Dicky sighs slowly getting off the couch to go clean up. He fixes the room back up and walks to his place of the moving cart schlatt brought him in on. Taking a glance at the pope cutoutin the corner he turned to face away from the couch earlier that day.

“Don't look at me like that.”

WITH YN:

What.. what did.. am i high? No.

Monkey man was real. That was real. I know it was. My ass still fuckin hirts from it. But how in the hell did that- i mean he was a human.! What the hell was in that wiskey..

As I walk in to the door of me and jschlatts shared house seeing jschlatt on the groups playing with jambo.

“So.. how's your head?”

“Haven't gotten any complaints yet.”

“..what.”

“Uh. Good. I'm good. Just gonna relax.”

“Alright whore. I made food so that's in the fridge when you want it.” Bullshit.

“..what did you order?”

“. Chinese..”

I walk to the fridge opening the door to see the food still in the bag. Definitely homemade. Placing it in the microwave, I head over to flop on the couch. Jschlatt crawling onto the couch next to me, Jambo following right behind.

“Wanna watch a movie??” Jschlatt asks while grabin the remote and looking through netflix.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nah.” Hearin the microwave i go grab it and sit back down. Jschlatts got some action movie on. Hitting his hand away when he tries to grab at my food.

“Fuck off. You already had your dinner.”

“Rude ass bitch.”

As he goes to grab a snack I can't help but to think back to Dicky and what we did. What the fuck am i going to do.

I wanna sincerely apologize- if you’ve read this far then uh.. theres a book two in process. And im sorry for your mental health. And just because i thought yall should know, i wrote moth of this in class so your welcome.

#jschlatt #schlatt #monkey ball #dsmp #funny stuff #king kong #for the bit #sleep deprived #jokes #its a joke #gay mlm #mlm post #gay men #minecraft #twitch #youtube #gun play #furry pecs #lgbt pride

[ha-youwish]

May I ask very nicely about the twewy au of your last fic? Pretty please 🥺

you read fast i just posted that lmao

this is the fic if anyone is wondering

okay so hm i really wasn’t prepared to talk about this. this fic came from an idea about post-apocalyptic situations, and im not sure where i got that idea from. so basically i started crafting a whole Thing based around that but then i scrapped it once my brain made the joke that its just The World Ending (with you) (again).

basically add this fic to my list of reasons i need to get diagnosed

anyways about the actual au shit going on in the background, please understand that this is hastily put together with duct tape so if it doesn’t make sense idk what to tell you

so it starts like this. this whole thing runs off the (correct) assumption that Neku is the most powerful being not in the UG right now, and possibly one of the most powerful in general. now someone (idk who, maybe another trigger-happy angel) decides that neku can be the perfect centerpiece for the next thing that will try to destroy shibuya.

and so, in some kind of ritual not to different from the taboo sigils from the first game. everyone in shibuya basically are like mindless wandering half-ghost things and theres a shitton of noise.

most UG folks and people who were caught up in the whole spell thing made it in one piece, but the rest of the city turned into those soulless beings, including rhyme and eri. and where did all those souls go? well. neku’s kinda still connected to all the minds in shibuya oops so guess what

now this ends up being kind of like some zombie apocalypse bc this whole thing Will spread to other areas of tokyo if they dont hurry and its already leaking into shinjuku, which is still recovering from their own world-ending event. and not only will this soullessness spread but so will the strain on neku which is fun.

the reason they have to be so cautious when going out (and why rindo being injured was a thing that was mentioned) is because of that whole “shitton of noise” thing i mentioned earlier that spread that soullessness stuff or whatever

sometime during a battle or something, shiki, beat, and neku sync up and realize very quickly how much hes been carrying and use the sync to help share the burden (but he silently refuses to let them actually help bc its That Bad that he doesn’t want them to feel even a little bit of it)

joshua’s abilities as composer allow him to help neku feel better almost exponentially, but the Ending the World Spell accounted for that and so it tends to do more damage after some time.

anyways at the point the fic is set in, they’ve found out how to reverse it (hopefully) by basically drawing giant No U sigils all over the city. the next part, the part that would come after the fic, is when neku would go to each sigil and activate them to get rid of some of the people in his head at a time until all of them were gone and the noise went away as well

i think thats all i got for this one. definitely not as interesting or fleshed out as other ones i have but i like the fic that came from it so who cares

#twewy #writing #my words #ppl ask me things #purplelea14

[bredforloyalty]

hi, im the anon from like a couple days ago. srry that im just clogging up ur inbox widhd but i dont rlly have anywhere else 2 talk abt it. ive just been privately indulging in my like.. Weird Thoughts which is nice but god it would be so neat to just be able to talk abt them w someone else ?? and like. im sure theres someone online i can ramble abt it to but i dont know where to look and considering these r like. pretty Freakish thoughts and concepts i also run into the chance of maybe coming across like actually malicious ppl so thats discouraging me from looking too. i dont know. its just a struggle sometimes. u can absolutely feel free to ignore bc im just rattling along but yea 😭

do you think its okay if i write dark/mature stories abt teenagers set in high school? like in the style of ginger snaps. im a teenager myself and ive been rotating this plotline in my head that involves themes like murder/sex/drug use/etc. and all my main characters are my age. im just worried that once i become an adult and actually write it maybe people might think im being weird towards teenagers ?? i dont know. just been thinking abt this a lot

oh my god anon i totally forgot to answer those other asks from a few days back.... SO SORRY ABOUT THAT i relate i feel you but most importantly, you can message me!!! if you'll make do with lil old me lol but if you're talking more generally about just messaging anyone, i get that too... it's uhm it's weird internal struggles most of the time, for some of us, when you're like uh, like this 😔

and about writing, let me just preface this by saying that i'm not a writer and i'm not very wise and i'm not an authority on this, i know everyone knew but i wanted to emphasize lol. so yeah i appreciate that you asked me and i think whatever you think is appropriate for you to write is appropriate! what you feel is right is right, believe in your ability to tell what's correct morally and what's not and to tell what fits your story best and have the courage to write what you really want to write :)

there's stuff like abuse and power dynamics that i'd love if people treated with care, like when deciding how to portay it, but even with those it's like, i don't believe viewing a fucked up dynamic through rose-colored glasses is harmful in itself... or that it can't be very touching art if it's not spelled out clearly that this is an unhealthy unbalanced relationship, and for survivors especially or people who are intimately familiar with fucked up, i think.. what am i saying. i KNOW the ""romanticization"" angle can affect survivors deeply, in a catharsis way and not a re-traumatized way i mean hxsgcy so that has real merit in fiction in my opinion

you know how they say great art disturbs the comfortable and comforts the disturbed or smth like that? i know it's hard and sticking by your own moral code (that might go against social norms) has to be learned and practiced, and the backlash that comes with challenging taboos is never exactly a walk on the beach but i encourage you to go for it and try to forget about what certain people will think! there will be stupid malicious interpretations always but you're not writing for those people, you're writing for the people that Do get it!! who will get it, when they read it, for those that see you and understand

anyway yes you're not clogging up my inbox and my dms are open, feel free to hop in there if you want to talk to someone and be certain you're not going to be judged💓💓💓

#like i prommy.... no instant judgment or condemnation of anything you're thinking of writing or anything you've been thinking about #you're definitely not alone #ask

[og-danny-dorito]

Bucky Barnes SFW Headcanons

a new hyperfixation to avoid my growing anxiety with my personal life? yall already know whats up, and i'm feeling angsty so brace yourself

PUBLISHED :  2 - 17 - 20

S F W : 

- to start off of a positive and happy note (jk you already know thats not how it works) its very likely that upon first meeting, any touch directed towards him is met with an alarmed grunt and/or a slap of your hand away

- anything unsolicited makes him nervous and uncomfortable, so if you really do want to pat his shoulder or hug him or something like that you'd have to ask if it's okay first. now it's pretty easy to see the reasoning behind this but for those doubting it i will explain

- big man has been trained to kill in hand to hand combat and advanced weaponry and countless other things, meaning that he's pretty much wired by this point to have a gut reaction that automatically goes to the fight or flight instinct. it doesn't make logical sense that he wouldn't get uncomfortable and jumpy at loud noises and unsolicited touching since his ptsd has accumulated over the years to MAKE him react like that. he doesn't want to accidentally punch you in the teeth

- like yeah he's all tough and shit and could break the a dude’s neck if he really tried, but the issue is that once his walls are broken down he's sort of akin to that of a regulated killing machine having to redo its wiring to be “normal” again. the transition itself would be traumatic, but the process of initiating it would be even more difficult

- so that means that in the first few months of his recovery, he probably would do a lot of absent-minded staring and just long spells of silence where he just doesn't do anything. it's sort of like a reloading point for his brain, and he starts to pick up the habit of daydreaming a lot. sometimes you'll have to say his name a few times to snap him out of it, but when he does come to he looks a little embarrassed

- it's not that easy to elicit an emotional reaction out of him. you'd have to be fairly close with him to actually get most responses out of him that are more than a word long, and so thus starts my favorite trope; hard depressed kill man falls for person who just Keeps Trying

- it's not that easy to get under his skin, but meeting him somewhere normally and constantly talking to him will probably start to make him feel more encouraged to speak in the sense of making normal conversation

- he's a little awkward so in this case patience goes a long way (as does with pretty much everything with him). it gets to the point where after a month or so he may feel weird if he doesn't talk to you at that specific time of the day. if he's grown that fond of you he'll even go out of his way to ask a few people where you are

- part of him hates getting this attached for a number of reasons. there's that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that his environment is temporary and getting attached to the things and people there will hurt him more than he'd like. while he knows that it's not temporary, that he's not leaving anytime soon and probably won't for a while, it all goes back to the killing machine thing

- when he was under hydra’s control, the only thing that was certain was the base he resided in and it's hard to come out of a state of mind where the only thing you know to be continuous is your continued existence as a tool. the place itself brings back horrible memories, but you get what i mean

- so initially he may resist conversation for that very reason

- he tends to pick up on details more than anything, and most of your smaller traits tend to make him quickly used to you. like for instance, if you're prone to pursuing your lips and narrowing your eyes at something odd you've heard or seen, he might find it cute mentally and then immediately correct himself for it. if you tend to snort a little and roll your eyes when you laugh, he's going to notice that and MAYBE try to pay more attention when something funny is said to hear it again

- i would generally think that he doesn't really have much a type or preference at all. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only thing he seemed consciously aware of that he likes in a partner is ability to understand. cause if you can't forgive him for the things he's done and see why he does what he does now, he can't bring himself to feel like he needs to go through all of his self hatred and doubt more intensely than he already is

- he probably is asexual as well but that's sort of iffy considering he's canon been in sexual relationships so that's a maybe. but he's definitely demiromantic. it's not that easy for him to find people attractive anymore. when he starts to get to know you better he starts feeling some sort of way and picking up on MORE details that you may not even notice yourself

- bucky is also incredibly skilled at remembering things you might've said a month ago and completely forgot about. some find this off putting and that's understandable, but when it comes down to it, its a product of sorta okay memory

- “My cousin almost flipped his car over this week.”

- “Phillipe?”

- “Uh, yeah. How did you...?”

- “You mentioned him two weeks ago... when he almost fell of your roof the week before.”

- “I did?”

- remembers dates, names, eye colors, and a multitude of other things, so sometimes he'll just mention something important you may have forgotten and pretend like he definitely wasn't paying too much attention to you. it's surprising how good his memory is even though he can't remember any of his past. so this most likely means that he has issues with remembering events and how they happened, but not the details of them. like how you can remember your shirt color a few week s back but not what you did while wearing that shirt

- and on that note, he kinda shuts down if he gets a weird flashback in the middle of something. they're mostly triggered by smells and sounds, but sometimes if he sees something while he's walking down the street he'll just stop and stare at it. it's best just to stop and stare at it with him, or alternatively if you don't want stares, act like you're taking a picture. but don't talk to him while it's happening cause it'll interrupt the train of thought and derail him completely

- he tends to talk a lot about things if he's grown very invested in them (he's very good at keeping focus). if you're out walking together or just sitting down he might stare and absentmindedly reach out to touch you before stopping himself at the last minute. gently grabbing his hand and placing it wherever he wanted to touch makes him flustered every time. that and hes super soft but is afraid to be vulnerable around anyone

- just gently grabbing his hand makes him all mushy, and it’s more often than not that he finds himself weak when someone shows pretty much any form of affection or endearment towards him

- probably not into pda though, not that much. he will hold your hand if you want to, but don’t expect to like sit in his lap or like straight upstart kissing in public cause any attention in a public setting makes him nervous

- really likes a kind of homey s/o. someone who likes to cook or bake or whatever makes him feel a little bit like he doesn't have to worry about something for a while. like if he comes home and dinner is just waiting on the table for him or you’ve already drawn a bath for him and/or made the bed or whatever, he literally appreciates that above pretty much anything else

- love language is most likely acts of service. hes not very good with words unless he like thinks it out beforehand, but pretty much buys you gifts all the time because he likes seeing you light up when you see them. he does try to spend as much time as he can with you but either anxiety gets the best of him or hes literally too busy, and so it ends up being more distant with him coming over a few times during the week, even if you live together. and we already know the deal with physical touch so im not gonna restate my strong belief in “big man has trauma no touch big man unless A S K”

- but a lot of the things he does are situational. one day he may be very down to be super affectionate and the other he’ll be painfully distant, but the main issue with all of it is that hes very very bad at communication

- this poses an issue for a number of reasons, but his responses and reactions are more physical than anything. so for instance, if hes uncomfortable with something he’ll start to shift and stare and be very tense the whole time it’s occurring, or if he’s feeling a bit more sad or depressed he’ll isolate himself and consistently stand slouched or look as if he hasn't gotten enough sleep. it’s mostly body language, but after a while he’ll feel safe enough to tell you how he feels about certain things

- this takes a while to actually happen, but when it does he manages to just,,, say things that are on his mind. like you’ll be reading or scrolling through your phone or whatever and he’ll randomly be like “The table has a lot of scratches on it.” it’s just observations he has, but usually it translates to him wanting to change the stated fact. best thing to do is just to roll with it, since hes practically learning how to communicate again and he’s picking up on things socially

- now let's get to the “a little fluffy” and “kinda-already-known” shit, shall we?

-  miscellaneous headcanons;

gets jealous pretty easily in the early stages of your relationship, but only ever indicates this by staring the person in question down and refusing to admit to it later

likes having his hair put up into cool hairstyles and likes colored rubber bands (or hair ties if youre not where i'm from). seriously, he may loose his shit if you just like put cool braids in his hair one day like hes a viking or whatever

kind of tone deaf but his singing is more of like this raspy and slightly more “Misty Mountains” vocals sounding

is touch sensitive, so even doing something as small as like rubbing your thumb on his arm makes his hair raise on end

doesn't like his metal arm at all and quite obviously wears long sleeves all the time to hide it, but occasionally wears short sleeves when he's feeling less insecure

oh, super insecure btw and THATS why he feels all mushy when someone is kind to him because he KNOWS he's a freak and that he's weird but you're not still being sweet??? too pure, must protect

gives great hugs since he practically smothers anyone he meets with them, but is also basically a walking heater

is terrified of the idea of taking care of children or just anything weaker than him, but is good with them since they always hang on his arms and hold his legs when he walks

super strong

likes sweets a whole lot, specifically fruity sweets like apple pie or peach cobbler. never bring those wallmart cakes or whatever near him cause it'll be gone in like an hour flat unless you tell him to leave you some

- in conclusion, he needs therapy and probably won't be very responsive when he's not sure what to do. it doesn't mean he loves you any less, but he may have a hard time communicating it to you. all he really needs is some patience and a bit of understanding, and he'll get better with the whole s/o thing soon enough. cause you mean the world to him, and he doesn't want anyone or anything to make you feel like less than that

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes headcanons #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #the winter soldier #the winter soldier imagines #the winter soldier imagine #the winter soldier headcanon #the winter soldier headcanons #Marvel Comics #mcu #mcu headcanon #mcu headcanons #mcu imagine #mcu imagines #marvel heroes #marvel hero #antihero #marvel villains #marvel villain

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

#annotations #ysijwa

[musashi]

whatever im just directly responding to this one because apparently if i don’t you’ll just take every other post i make out of context

Okay, for anyone concerned, here’s the end to the tumblr user musashi saga. To reiterate, the original sin is that I blocked her without comment. 

the original sin is that you did something i’ve repeatedly stated is heavily traumatic. reducing it to you blocked me is an intentional downplaying of my feelings and baggage. i have a disclaimer in my BYF to not befriend me if you are incapable of ending a friendship civilly and instead ghost/abandon people. you read the BYF. You read the disclaimer. you did it anyways. you blocked me without a word. i thought we were friends, and you sliced me out of your life without so much as an explanation.

Because I saw her post this shit beating others down all the time. And I got tired. And then she did it to me.

i literally don’t know what you’re referring to. there’s no link here. i don’t beat anyone down. sometimes people mistreat me and i get rightfully mad at them for mistreating me. beyond that, i literally just blog about pokemon. in another post you said you unfollowed me over hazbin hotel or some shit, which is an animated show i’ve never seen and have no opinions on.

[screencap of a personal post where i’m clearly panicking]

cool! nice one. real empathy and compassion showing here.

I didn’t say any of this, aside from that we weren’t friends.  (edited to point this out.) We literally had only talked on a cursory level a handful of times. 

you’re literally missing the point. you said that we weren’t friends, and used that as your defense for literally blocking me. it doesn’t MATTER if you personally thought we weren’t friends. I thought we were friends. I thought you liked me. my feelings were hurt, i was crushed. just because you think its NBD “she probably doesn’t even remember me” doesn’t mean you are absolved. You may have thought that, and I believe you thought that, but you were mistaken. This made me even more upset--not only did my friend block me, but my friend didn’t even consider us friends.

even if i didn’t consider us friends, what you did to me was wrong. but the fact that i did and you don’t just means it hurts more. that’s literally it. i recognize that i didn’t mean to you what you meant to me, but that literally does not mean anything you did was okay. i don’t know how to spell this out further!!!!!

She also says that I am falsely claiming that I did not block her – a claim I never made– and also that I never apologized for unfollowing her, when in fact I did, repeatedly, trying to get this to stop.

YOU DID NOT APOLOGIZE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO GAIN FROM LYING ABOUT THIS. you keep saying this! what do i have to do to prove you didn’t apologize? does ANYONE reading this have ANY ideas??? Elliot literally won’t state, anywhere that i can FIND, WHERE he supposedly apologized. alledgedly, he’s sent me apologies MULTIPLE TIMES EVEN??? i dont know where i’m supposed to be looking. my tumblr DMs? my tumblr asks i think? i pretty obsessively read my ask box, i don’t have access to DMs but i never received any, of that I am sure. this is important to me and i would remember! you have not contacted me! the closest you have come to contacting me, besides publicly talking about me on your blog, is frantically sending my friend marcus a bunch of messages about me and then BLOCKING HIM AS WELL. ALL of this i learned because marcus came to me incredibly confused (as was i) asking why my name was coming up all of a sudden. that is ALL i have heard from you. there have been no apologies, no one on one chats. it is WAY easier for you to prove to your followers that you sent an apology than for me to prove that i didn’t receive one, so can you please? can you give me ANY ideas on how to prove that i’m telling the fucking truth? literally WHAT do i have to gain from lying about this????? do you think i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of this shit??? do you think having someone i thought was my friend on the opposite side of things makes me happy??????? do you think i enjoy this?? i don’t understand what you think i have to gain from lying! i didn’t receive an apology, a clarification, a single word from you! this is all the talking you have done with me. public talking, and talking through marcus. you have not contacted me. the last time i heard anything from you was probably an ask or dm you sent me months ago. i wish you would either believe me or just admit you didn’t apologize and send me even one message and have EVEN ONE CONVERSATION with me! i don’t understand how THIS is easier for you! i don’t understand why THIS is the way you did things, and why you’re insisting you tried any other approach!!! i literally just want to understand!!!!!

Literally please compare this post to what I have ACTUALLY said about the situation on my blog. 

ok i will

literally right here you posted an interaction between us. it’s just an ask where you asked me a question about getting to your ask and i responded. you go on to say ‘how am i supposed to get ‘friendship’ from this?’ and then you go on to talk about how i answered some other asks before yours, denoting the asks i answered as ‘friends’ and (correct me if im misunderstanding!!!) implying the ones i didn’t answer as ‘not friends.’ but that doesn’t make any sense. my friendship level with people has nothing to do with how readily i am to answer their asks. what asks i answer depends on time, energy, how compelled i am with the topic at hand, and a lot of other things. im looking at this screencap and i don’t understand how I’M supposed to get “not friends” from it. you posting this made me feel like you were reading deeply into every single interaction i had with you... i dont understand how i was supposed to know that the way i responded here was “unfriendly,” and i don’t understand how i’m supposed to know that me answering certain asks in a certain order has any connotation other than the literal one-wendy is answering certain asks in a certain order. and yeah sometimes i burnout or lose steam and just delete all my asks or don’t get to some. i didn’t realize i was being monitored on that too... thats what i was talking about in my personal post you very rudely put on display. i just thought we were friends, i didn’t realize there were all these... micro-interactions i had to be monitoring? i didn’t realize this stuff would make a difference about if you liked me back or not, i thought we were just friends and we liked each other already.

you also said:

She genuinely never called me by my name. She didn’t know how to spell it because she’d never spelled it before. My friends know that my name is not spelled like that because it’s 1 letter off from a very famous person. This wasn’t a guilt trip; it was truly just hurtful for her to address me by name the first time when she was calling me an asshole.

i didn’t know this was a social faux pas either. i am honestly really bad with names and even if i’ve known someone for years i will nervously check their blog to make sure i am getting their name right. i didn’t nervously check yours because when someone hurts me i can’t bear to look at their social media for fear of what i might find there. but i think “she spelled my name wrong and therefore we weren’t friends” (my understanding at least) is kind of drastic. if that is the case, i really don’t have as many friends as i thought i did.

sorry i did that, in any case. i’ll learn from it and not do it in the future.

I hope doing so makes it clear the extent to which a popular blogger (WHO I LITERALLY HARDLY SPOKE TO BEFORE THIS) 

like you literally just keep twisting the knife in. i don’t know how to tell you that how much i am able to talk to people has nothing to do with how much i like them and if i consider them a friend or not... this is hurtful. you keep bringing up how little we talked, or how i talked to you, and its hurtful. i just don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to understand that, esp when you’re autistic also. how have you not experienced exactly what you’re doing to me? someone who doesn’t understand the way you value a person’s company because they’re not allistic ways? i can’t talk to my friends all the time. sometimes, the most i can do is a like in their direction, a response to something they sent me, or even just silently reading their posts. 

what about this is not clicking? my ways of showing love and appreciation are different. you were in my private discord server, something that is HEAVILY vetted due to past abuse and full of people i consider my closest friends. you were someone i followed on tumblr, something i do not easily extend because of just how much rhetoric on this website upsets and overwhelm me. and regardless of if we didn’t talk enough by your standards, you still liked so many of my posts and i regarded you fondly and enjoyed seeing you and considered you my friend. just because my ways of showing appreciation were not in alignment with your ways or your standards, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist or matter.

has been intentionally manipulating my words and actions to make herself feel better about losing a follower she thought was cool, through her own actions at that. 

i’m not a “popular blogger,” who “lost a follower,” i’m a person who lost a friend. if i am really this... image you’re painting of me, of some social media influencer with “tens of thousands of followers” (i’m. not?? i don’t even have one 10k, let alone several) then why would i care about losing ONE?

i don’t know how to spell this out clearer. i’m traumatized. my trauma centers around repetitive abandonment from friends, more specifically blocking/softblocking/deactivating/moving blogs. to paint you a picture, there are certain posts on this website that actively trigger me despite being harmless, because they were the last post at the top of a friend’s blog before the friend remade their entire social media just to leave me in the dust. sometime’s i’ll be scrolling and some errant funnyman text post will send me spiraling.

and that’s what you did to me. that is why i am upset. it has nothing to do with making me feel better, it has nothing to do with manipulation, i do not need to manipulate this situation and to say that about a borderline having a fucking breakdown because someone perpetuated a horrible trauma she’s lived through time and time again is fucked up, wrong, and shitty. you are constantly downplaying my feelings by acting like just because you didn’t consider me a friend, what you did was okay. you refuse to talk to me one on one, or show me any indication of the apology you keep claiming you sent. and now you are acting as though this speaking out i am doing has to do with some ~tumbler dot corn callout dramaz~ instead of a person lamenting and hurting on her personal blog about yet another person hurting her in a very easily avoidable way.

i don’t know what “my own actions” are that drove you away. you didn’t have a conversation with me about them, or if you did i never saw it. i just woke up one day and you had blocked me. i still don’t know why you blocked me. i just know all the reasons you think it was an okay thing to do.

You can genuinely read back to see that what she claims I am saying and doing is at best self-aggrandizingly misinterpreted, and at worst actively and maliciously misleading.

maybe things wouldn’t get misinterpreted if you instead communicated with me instead of just ghosting me and trying to talk yourself out of the guilt of it. i don’t want to misinterpret anything, i just am having trouble understanding why you did any of this to me and your answers to all those questions aren’t helping me understand because i can’t ask about them in real time.

I am reiterating the same shit because it’s the truth. Her desperation to convince her tens of thousands of followers that I’m “lying”, while asserting that I said things that I did truly actually not and you can literally just go see that on my blog in writing, is tremendously telling.

i clarified some here, but i still don’t know where i’m supposed to be looking for this apology. 

again, i don’t have tens of thousands of followers, and me posting on this blog isn’t about reaching an audience or whatever, it’s about... processing the pain you’ve caused me.

I will say it bluntly now: You are not a person I would ever want to be friends with. 

thats fine, but i wish you would have just told me that instead of doing this. a lot of my friendships end because i was incompatible with a person who doesn’t feel the need to traumatize me to avoid having a conversation. you could’ve just shot me a DM and told me it wasn’t meant to be, and i could’ve thanked you for your time and moved on with my life.

I cannot be emotionally manipulated in such transparent ways, and I am not impressed by you. If that makes you mad, I hope the fire keeps fizzling.

my suffering won’t make your life better, and demonizing me won’t lessen the guilt of what you did to me. you’ll heal a lot faster if you just admit to even just yourself that maybe you could’ve handled things more gracefully. 

this is exactly what you did to me. and you confronted one of my friends asking for space/understanding about why it hurt you. right here you literally ask marcus, word for word, what i wanted for you. the hypocrisy you’re showing me is astounding.

#tenderskeptic #smeargletail #also dont think i haven't seen all the wild shit you said to marcus like... come on. #long post #also please stop calling me musashi its a japanese name and im a white girl #if you MUST call me by my username you can call me mu for short #but my name is jessie or wendy please do not call me that #it says in my about not to call me that and has for YEARS #i know you like disregarding my about pages but this one is MORE IMPORTANT

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 12: Two Future Visits???

Also on ao3

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AA: dave!!! AA: youll never guess what just happened!!!

TG: yo ara lay it on me TG: if you say ill never guess then i guess ill never guess but youve piqued my curiosity here and ive absolutely got to know what you want to tell me TG: although presumably youre going to tell me regardless of whether or not i actually guess

AA: you would be correct

TG: ara im dying TG: i need to know this sweet ass thing that just happened TG: i might die if i dont find out soon TG: there i go TG: on my deathbed TG: struggling for breath and doing my goddamn best to make words come out of my mouth TG: and you of all people know exactly how much i talk TG: holy shit that last moment at my death i can barely speak TG: but i manage it just enough to say my last words TG: put a whoopie cushion on dirks seat at my funeral TG: everyones in tears TG: the most perfect last words

AA: alright! ill tell you!!! AA: sollux proposed to me!!!

TG: holy shit!!! TG: thats fantastic!!!! TG: what do people do when someone proposes TG: do we celebrate TG: should we celebrate TG: that certainly seems like something worth celebrating TG: should we have a party TG: just TG: holy fuck TG: when did he propose how did he propose TG: lay all the deets on me

AA: so remember when i told you he had something he was working on that he couldnt show me because it was a surprise for me AA: it turns out that it was a video game AA: it was really cute and sweet and it was a game about finding fossils AA: it was at the very end when the fossils spelled out will you marry me AA: and thats how sollux proposed to me!

TG: thats absolutely adorable oh my god TG: i dont think i can handle this cuteness TG: satisfaction may have brought me back the the cuteness killed me again

AA: dave! AA: you cant die yet!

TG: well i wasnt planning on dying quite yet because i still have shit to do TG: and if i died i would start wandering the world as a ghost because i had unfinished business TG: youll have to burn my body TG: or put it in a museum TG: that would be kick ass TG: thats where i want my bones to be when i die TG: ill make a museum and then all the little kids will be able to see the creators bones scattered about in a glass case TG: it will even have my shades on my skull TG: and the kids will go TG: woah thats one sick ass skull what a cool dude

AA: the coolest AA: but i wanted to tell you that im coming into town for the wedding! AA: im going to take some time off of work so that i can have a proper wedding with all my friends and stuff

TG: !!!! TG: holy shit!!!!! TG: what are we going to die i have no idea TG: i just i havent seen you in person in so fucking long TG: oh my god TG: aradia im so excited holy shit!!!!

AA: im also very excited!!! AA: however the wedding is going to take a while to plan and i will still be working during that time so im not coming for a few months AA: i just wanted to tell you that i will be there eventually

TG: i honestly cant wait

AA: i cant wait either AA: i do have to go now AA: afterall my work is never done AA: i will troll you when i have some free time <>

TG: sounds great <>

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You wonder who you gush to first about the news.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose rose rose rose rose rose rose TG: guess what

TT: Did you perhaps learn how to use punctuation?

TG: no and your girlfriend didnt either

TT: That’s cold, Dave. That’s really cold. TT: But, please, do tell this secret that you have been withholding from me for so long.

TG: aras gettin married to sollux!!!! TG: isnt that fucking some fucking fantastic shit TG: like holy shit my moirail is getting married

TT: Your moirail?

TG: its a recent development TG: anyway shes getting married and shes coming to town in a few months and rose TG: rose TG: im so fucking excited rose like holy shit TG: i havent seen ara in ages and now shes getting married TG: im just so fucking happy for her

TT: I’m happy for her as well. TT: Please, tell her congratulations for me. TT: Who’s she getting married to?

TG: shes getting married to her boyfriend of like five years i think TG: i know theyve been dating for a while but i dont really know exactly how long who knows TG: but his name is sollux and i dont really know much about him outside what aras told me but he seems like a pretty cool dude TG: and i trust her judgement anyways

TT: Be sure to give her my congratulations.

TG: ill be sure to do that TG: now if youll excuse me im gonna tell literally everyone about this

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade youll never guess

GG: im going to take a wild guess and say that someones getting married!

TG: holy shit i guess you did guess TG: never mind then

GG: no! GG: dont go! GG: i dont know the details yet!

TG: well if you insist TG: shes getting married to sollux who ive never actually met but he seems like a pretty cool dude from what ive heard from him TG: and shes coming to town in the next few months after planning the wedding and finishing up the job she has right now TG: and so well get to see her!!!! TG: jade ill get to see aradia!!! TG: holy shit you might actually become friends!!!

GG: !!!! GG: i cant wait!!!!!!

TG: anyway ive got to relay the news to john now TG: hes the last to know

GG: i wont spoil the surprise for him GG: but if you wait to too long rose might!

TG: oh shit youre absolutely right TG: i gots to go TG: be sure to tell me about those cars youre working on later k cause they seem cool as shit

GG: will do!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: john TG: hey there johnny boy

EB: i’ll listen to whatever you have to say, dave, but you have to promise to never call me “johnny boy” ever again.

TG: alright alright i promise TG: but i also promise that what im going to tell you is going to blow your fucking mind

EB: try me.

TG: aras getting married!!!

EB: what! EB: holy shit, dude! EB: god, i haven’t even talked to her in such a long time. EB: and now i’m hearing that she’s getting married? EB: just, wow.

TG: yeah i know right TG: shits groovy

EB: did you really just use the word “groovy” in a completely unironic context, dave?

TG: yes TG: ive moved passed liking things ironically egbert TG: you got to enjoy things as they come and let no one shame you for liking them

EB: that’s some solid advice, my dude

TG: anytime

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Welp, you’ve messaged your main best friends about the wedding, and you’ve mostly got the excitement out of your system, at least until Aradia gives you more details about the planning of her wedding, and you're also going to assume that Aradia is going to message her other friends about the wedding.

Might as well do some work, and, by that, you mean it’s time to review some stuff that you may or may not have been procrastinating reviewing. But it’s time to take action! Make yourself a better person and stuff like that. One destruction of the thing you’re supposed to be doing at a time.

“Now, everyone wants to know how well these nail polishes work, and I am clearly the person to go to if you want to know about nail polishes because I paint my nails all the time, which you would see if you’ve watched my other videos.”

You make a mental note to put photos of your clearly not painted nails over the screen during the editing process.

You first start out doing what you always do in your videos, which is describe the object you’re reviewing in great detail.

“Okay, so this nail polish is kind of liquidy, like all nail polishes I’ve seen are, and this one that I’m holding is a blue one. Like, a blue that’s one of the prettiest blues you’ve ever seen, like the feeling when it’s slightly rainy outside, and you’ve got all your work done, so you’re just sitting there, listening to the soft rain, holding your favorite warm beverage and a feeling of calm washes over you, and everything is okay. You know. Like that.”

You turn the nail polish bottle around to see what else you could describe.

“There also seems to be bits of glitter hanging around in there. They look silvery like the sound of rain. Or the sound of a coin clanking against the ground. Mmmm, no, that would be a gold color, so let’s stick with the sound of rain.”

You then describe the bottle the nail polish is in, including what the font looks like and the color of the lid (white).

“I do have these other colors that came in the set, so I have a total of five. One for each finger. All of them have the same silver glitter as the blue one so that you know that they are from the same set or brand or whatever.

“The other colors are green, red, pink, and orange. Honestly, they could have gone for the complete rainbow, but they didn’t because they’re cowards. Where’s my yellow? My purple? With the colors they gave me, I can’t do the full gay rainbow. How are people supposed to know how bi I am without purple?

“Anyway, let’s get to describing each of these colors. This green- like a grassy meadow. It’s the smell of flowers, but then you sneeze because you’re allergic to pollen.” You pick up the green polish and hold it up so the viewers could see it. Then you put down the green polish to pick up the red one.

“The red is firey, and it’s probably my favorite out of these colors. It looks like someone shouting encouraging words at you but in an aggressive way, so you’re not really sure if they’re insulting you or not. Spoilers, they’re insulting you while telling you how much they love you because they can’t let anybody know they’re emotionally vulnerable.”

You then pick up the pink nail polish.

“And the pink- prettiest fucking pink you’ll ever see. Like a song that makes your heart thump and burn from thinking about the one you love, you know? Kind of also makes me think of cookies. Like, sugar cookies, especially the ones shaped like hearts. It’s a very lovey-dovey sort of color.”

And then, at long last, you pick up the orange polish and gazed at it.

“And, finally, we have this orange polish. Now, it looks exactly like an orange smells like. Or like salty orange juice. Why would you put salt in your orange juice? A prank? That’s the only conceivable reason I can think of, but I’m not here to judge people for their eating or drinking habits. But, now that we’ve looked carefully at all these polishes, it’s time to actually get to the painting part.”

You open the orange polish because you were already holding it, and you examine the consistency of the nail polish.

“Yep, that’s nail polish alright. Let’s put that shit on our nails and see what happens.”

You proceed to messily paint your nails. There’s nail polish everywhere. You somehow get nail polish on your face. You have no idea what happened. You look later- there’s nail polish on your foot. You don’t know how it got there.

You do, in fact, manage to paint all your nails, however messy the end result ended up being, so you are proud of yourself for managing to do that much.

After recording the video and making sure you actually recorded all that, you uploaded the footage and decided to edit it later.

After an hour or so of scrolling through mindless memes, you get a message on pesterchum.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: guess who the FUCK is comign to town next week TG: *coming TG: that’s right TG: me TG: ur fav sis

TG: oh shit this is fantastic TG: dont tell rose that youre my favorite sister though TG: i would never hear the end of it

TG: ur secret is safe with me TG: *wonk* TG: anyway TG: i was just here to tell you that. TG: dont be a stranger

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Holy fucking shit. You can’t believe you got news of some of your favorite people coming to visit in the same day. Granted, they weren’t arriving in the same time period, but still.

You can’t believe Roxy is coming next week!! You are so ready to spend time with Roxy. It’s going to be a blast.

#davekat #dave strider #aradave #arasol #aradia megido #john egbert #rose lalonde #jade harley #roxy lalonde #homestuck #hs #pesterlogs

[choisgirls]

I've never requested anything before >_

A/N: *bows with a flourish* I AMQUITE HONOURED TO BE YOUR FIRST, MY LOVE~

this is late and i am sorry butspook time is all the time~ I will do my best here~

(also boy oh boy im glad youmentioned rituals because i grew up witchy and alongside the normal halloweenactivities every now and again there’s the Samhain celebrations full ofdifferent rituals and spells and i am hYPE, thats the direction i’ll take sincei have another request im working on regarding the ouji so it may not be /all/ spooky,but i will throw some in there since you did ask for spoop!!! im sorry, i reallyhope thats okay;;;;; ;A; if not, i can always take this and re-write some forthose I didn’t make scary!)

WARNINGS: I did mention blood oncewithin this, but there’s nothing too big, but just in case you don’t enjoy alittle prick to the finger, please don’t keep reading!

/it’s a little long so I’ll place itunder a cut!/

Masterlist~

YOOSUNG:

“Oh cool, MC, you bought somecandles!” he called, grabbing one and getting ready to light it. Youscramble after him to get it back, explaining to him that they aren’t forburning around the house to look pretty. “Yoosung, I’m doing a ritual- theblack candle represents your life, your decisions, and your experiences in thepast year, while the white one represents the present moment and year to come!You light this black one and reflect on things that helped you become who youare today, how you’ve grown, what lessons you’ve learned, then you say goodbyeto it all and blow out the candle. Then, you light the white one and reflect onhow you can be your happiest every day, and blow out the flame holding hope inyour heart!” you went on to describe the simple ritual to him, watching ashe stared at you with eyes as big as dinner plates. To your surprise, heactually wanted to hear a little more about why you do this, and what otherthings there were to do. He wanted to join you in this one as well! He wantedto think of all the happy times he can have with you for this next year!

ZEN:

He came home and the house did notsmell like it normally did and he was concerned. He called out to you, hopingthat the smell was something you were doing and doing it safely. He found you standing on a chair in the center of the room,hoping some sort of… stick? Maybe? “MC! What are you doing? You could’vefallen!” he swooped you off of the chair, placing you on your feet gentlybut then suddenly started to cough over the smoke in his face- you quicklymoved it to the side. “Ah, sorry Hyun! I just wanted to banish all of theold energy from our house,” you tried to explain as you continued tosmudge the area around yourself. The look on his face said it all- he had noidea what you were talking about. You asked him to walk with you as youfinished smudging the rest of the house, explaining it was a cleansing ritual-with the herbs sage, mugwort, bay leaf, and lavender tired together with yard,you could hopefully dispel any old or bad energy, leaving the house fresh andnew! He understood after a while, but would never attempt to do it on hisown… if it made you feel better, he would absolutely let you do it.

JAEHEE:

“..MC… can I ask why you’relying in the middle of the floor?” she asked, closing the door behind her.You could often be found throwing yourself across the furniture and laying onthe ground, she didn’t think too much of it until she saw your hands movingaround, then she realized you were meditating and immediately felt bad- shedidn’t interrupt, did she? She sat a few feet away from your head, waitinguntil you were finished to actually talk to you. When you sat up, you greetedher and told her not to worry, you hadn’t even noticed her come in. She seemedto be trying to peek at what was in your hand, so you opened it to reveal asmall opal laying in your palm. You explained that the stone was used as apower stone to help become a conduit of the unconscious mind. When you breathedeeply and allow any and all images, thoughts, sounds, or sensations pass by,you’ll be able to release them from your mind. You even took a handful ofassorted power stones and explained each one to her- you watched her eyes asyou noticed her make mental notes about it all so she could research it in moredepth later. She really wouldn’t be against joining you for one of thesemeditations, the poor woman needs this

JUMIN:

“MC, I don’t understand why youwould willingly participate in doing this to yourself. All you’re going to dois scare yourself to the point you will lose sleep, or you will injure yourselfwith worry,” he said as you scrolled through multitudes of rituals youlooked up online, trying to find one you wanted to try out. “Jumin,sweetheart, it’s Halloween. The point is to try and scare yourself,” youtold him, stopping on one you wanted, turning to find him crossing his arms,shaking his head, and turning to leave the room- he muttered a soft “It’sa horrible idea” under his breath as he left the room. At midnight thatnight, you wrote your name on this piece of paper, pricking your finger to puta small drop of blood onto the paper- you light the candle and turn the rest ofthe lights off before knocking on the wooden door 22 times, all before 12:01am.You open the door, blow out the candle, then shut the door again before rushingto relight the candle and leaving the room, keeping the candle lit. You were tothink about your wish and keep close watch of the flame until 3:33am- as wellas watching for drops in temperature and faint whispers- this would mean theMidnight Man was close and you had to be very careful. You had spent so muchtime walking around, you began to get bored, but were too afraid to stop. Aftera while, you heard faint whispers behind you, and you immediately started towalk faster, being aware of the flame in front of you. You started to panic- ohno. This is real, isn’t it. Why didn’t you listen to Jumin? Why did you need totry and freak yourself out? Turning a corner, your flame went out and you werefrozen in place, your heart immediately beating in your ears. Suddenly, youhear Jumin whisper, “Well, did you get the scare you were looking for,MC?” You dropped the candle to the floor, immediately swinging your armsin front of you until you make contact with his chest, which he returned with asoft “oof” and a soft chuckle before pulling you close to hold you.

SAEYOUNG:

“Legend says that during thenight, a rift will open between the land of the living and the domain of thespirits,” he said in his best story telling voice- he was dressed in ablack, intimidating robe, trying to scare you the night before Halloween. Hehad a flashlight on under his chin and turned off the power to the whole house-Saeran was pissed. Yet, he stayed for Saeyoung’s story, which he continuedafter his dramatic pause. “Communication can lead to wishes being grantedand good fortune- for the living! The other side demands horrific payment fortheir services, ooooooo~” he wiggled his fingers to emphasize the spooky.You stared at him with an extremely unamused look on your face- you couldn’ttake him serious- even when he asked you to play the game with him. Between 2amand 5am on Halloween, the two of you closed yourselves in a small room, staringat a mirror that you couldn’t even clearly see in the dark.“Okay MC, whenthe rift opens, you should feel the room go cold, that’s when you put your handon the mirror and whisper, ‘I accept’. Then, we’ll see a figure in the mirror-a figure way too frightening to describe. Then you must answer all five oftheir deeply personal questions, you must answer honestly- each one you lieabout, they will take one of your five senses. Each one you get correct, youcan place a death curse on anyone you decide.” You tried to look at himlike he was an idiot but being in the dark made that hard. Suddenly, there wasa soft breeze behind your ear, you raised your elbow a little and jammed itinto his stomach hard enough to get an 'oomph’ from him. You knew he was tryingto just scare you. He chuckled a little, pulling your back closer to his chest,he started to nuzzle against your shoulder until the both of you felt the roomget extremely cold in a flash- the both of you turned stiff for a moment beforeyour adrenaline kicked in and the both of you started to push the other out ofthe way to escape the room. Saeran had to hold back a laugh from his place behind the mirror, where he had a portable air conditioner running silently.

JIHYUN:

Always willing to see differentparts of you and anything you like or believe in! So on Samhain, you wanted tohelp him with his past in any way you know how- Mandalas! You told him howmandalas are powerful because they reflect balance and wholeness- drawing oneup helps to express yourself and encourage emotional balance as well as helpingto heal yourself! He watched you practice a few, and had him join in. Drawingthe patterns in whatever colour he wanted, with no pressure to make it perfectwas calming. He turned to you, to thank you for showing him this activity, whenhe saw your page and immediately froze. He wanted to laugh but he was also kindof concerned. Your mandala was more.. in the shape of a common demon mask, andhe… he wasn’t sure what that meant- or if he should ask you about it… Hestill hung it on the fridge regardless, but it scares people when they walk by andyou act innocent, which he finds hilarious.

SAERAN:

“MC, this is stupid, I’m notdoing this,” he stated with a huff, his arms crossed against his chest andyou tried to drag him outside at around 11:30 pm, October 30th. You found thisritualistic game online and you wanted to see if it would truly work! I mean,if you can deal with him, you could probably deal with some sorta demons thatcome out of this. You search for bare patch of ground, waiting until 11:59pm- aminute before Halloween. He watched as you drew a circle in the dirt largeenough to hold your phone- then you plopped yourself down to the ground. With asigh, he sat next to you and stared at the phone for what seemed like too long.You kept staring, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 11 minutes, the time kept increasingand the whole time he kept trying to break your gaze from the phone, but youwere dedicated to this thing and he gave up. After 15 minutes, your phone litup from a call from a private number- Saeran went to answer once he realizedyou weren’t going to- you had to shoo him away quickly. “You can’tanswer!!!! You can’t, this is supposed to happen! Now, we wait for a text, andmake sure not to take the phone from the circle. It’s supposed to be anothernumber that we can call, then we tell this man our address, and he’ll tell usthat we’ll get a package at precisely 11:59 on November 1st!” you staredat the phone explaining it all, as Saeran just looked at you with an eyebrowraised- looking up across the yard, he saw his brother hiding around the cornerof the house, raising a finger to his lips to keep him quiet. Now he knew thiswas a prank and nothing that can truly hurt you- good. He would playalong.“What’s in this package, MC?” he asked, curious as to just whatkind of story his brother planted into your head. “You find a smalltransistor radio with batteries! You can put in the batteries but youabsolutely can’t turn on the radio until 12:15am, then go to the AM channel111.1 and listen- it says the guy from tonight will be muttering and will giveus a headache but we can’t stop listening. At 12:25 am on the dot, the messagewill stop and soft music will play- and until then, so long as you keep theradio on you and turned on, you’ll experience good luck!” you kept staringat the phone, speaking quickly, trying to get the story out before that textcame in. Saeran had to hide his growing laughter, “Okay okay, so wait.This dumb ritual will give you good luck? That’s what this is about?”“Yeah, but apparently, when the radio’s batteries die, everythingdrastically changes. Like, you’ll feel someone tracking your every move, see afigure in the shadows, hear a sound you can’t place, up until it makes itselfknown and comes to claim its payment!” your voice turned high pitched nearthe end of your explanation, as you watched your phone light up from theexpected text. He sat through the rest of your ritual, watching you one momentand turning to watch his brother with a voice box and his cell phone across theway. He’d allow this to happen, only this time, because you did bring this uponyourself.

VANDERWOOD:

“And you want to do…. what,now?” he asked, staring at you in disbelief. You told him about this…insane idea you had to play this creepy game to see if it was real. Why you hadthis fascination with trying to do these scary things, he would never know. Infact, he started to think you hung out with Saeyoung too often- he’s rubbingoff on you. You told him about this ritual you found called the “The ThreeKings”, and you were dying to see if it was the real thing- after all, thewarning did say “do not attempt on your own”- so it had to be scary,right? You made him help you set up- three chairs, two mirrors, and a candleset in a specific position according to the chart online. You leave the roomuntouched from midnight to 3:30am, then you take your place at the King’sthrone, candle lit, as you stare straight in front of you into the darkness.Vanderwood stood, leaning against the wall, watching this all go down. Hedidn’t want you to sit alone and have something… actually happen to you-though he knew it never would. It was all fake, just something to scareyourself, and he will be here once again to reassure you that everything wasfine. You told him that until 4:34am, you must stare only straight ahead, andbe aware of if the light on the candle goes out. For almost half an hour, youstared at the spot in front of you- he got tired of it. Kept telling you howeverything was fake, nothing would be happening, and that you were just goingto scare yourself over your own imagination- when your candle flame suddenlyblew out. The girlish scream that followed definitely did not come out of yourown mouth- though you were the one who blew out the candle in the first placeto freak out your “I-Don’t-Believe-In-That-Shit” of a partner, whichyou succeeded in.

#request #mysme #mystic messenger #rfspook #mm #mysme writing #mystic messenger writing #mysme hcs #mystic messenger hcs #mysme headcanons #mystic messenger headcanons #mysme scenarios #mystic messenger scenarios #mysme reactions #mystic messenger reactions #mysme imagines #mystic messenger imagines #yoosung #zen #jaehee #jumin #saeyoung #jihyun #saeran #vanderwood #mysmes

[thehumorousace]

My Asexual Story

Just wanted to share my story about being Asexual because i’ve never actually told anyone before and i don’t have anyone in person to tell, plus i need to get this off my chest because it’s something i’ve been keeping to myself, so don’t feel as if you have to read, i’m just having a moment here.

So basically around the age of 14/15 i realised i didn’t have sexual attractions towards people (Boys, girls or anyone in between) but at this point i didn’t know about the term ‘asexual’ and i especially didn’t realise that other people experienced this kinda thing, so i went a bit crazy thinking that i’d never find anyone and that i only had a couple months left to get in a relationship with someone and that even if i did get into a relationship i would only be with them for a short time coz, according to me, after the age of 16 people would just want sex in a relationship and there would be no hope for a weirdo like me who wasn't into that. I don’t know why i thought this but i was 15 and a mess of a human being. I do however recall the main source of why i thought this was the case was because prom was coming up (I’m British so we leave secondary school at 16 and have a prom) and in a lot of films thats the kinda time people do the nasty, on top of this i guess i just got it in my head that like what else is gunna happen between a girl and guy after a big fancy party, once again i was 15 and out of my mind and i now know this isn't necessarily the case. So during this time i went through all sorts of scenarios, at first i thought i was lesbian because i wasn't attracted to guys so i must have been attracted to girls, right? But no, that thought process lasted like a day and i went back to thinking i was just crazy and would die alone with my 50 cats, i also wondered that maybe i was ‘normal’ and i did have these sexual feelings and maybe didn’t realise them but after talking to some people i realised this was also not the case as just the way they described certain feelings weren't anything i'd ever felt and were something i honestly never wanted to experience.

Then around the time i turned 16 (March - so prom was still relatively far away but all the plans had been made and people had dates and stuff) i some how decided to look up the LGBT+ community and all the different types of sexualities and genders, i don’t 100% remember why, i think i was kinda looking for other sexualities that i might have been coz at the time i only knew to be hetrosexual, homosexual or bisexual so maybe i was looking for the right label as i knew there were other 'types' of orientation out there. I came across this list of a huge range of sexualities, orientations, genders ect. and seeing as Asexual begins with ‘A’ it was at the top of the list, the description for each definition was only brief and you could click to get more info, but the description for the first sexuality was something like ‘Someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction’ (I know this is very brief and not 100% correct for everyone but like i said u could get more info and all the mini definitions were like 10 words long). So 16 year old me saw, by pure chance and thanks to the spelling of this word, this definition that matched me. I cannot explain the feeling that went through me in that exact moment, shock, excitement, disbelief. All i know is that i practically did a double take and i clicked on that link faster than i have clicked on anything before in my entire life and for the next 2-3 hours i read that page over and over to make sure i understood it all right, i read page after page on all different websites to make sure i was understanding it right and by the end of it i finally felt like by me just identifying with this label that i was somehow more okay, I know some people don’t like giving themselves labels as it can make them feel restricted (or for any other reasons - idk it’s an individual thing i guess), but for me personally that label made me feel like i wasn’t alone and that i wasn’t crazy for feeling the way i did and thats what i needed, i needed an explanation and thats what this one word did, it didn’t make me feel validated or give my life meaning it just gave me an reasonable explanation and the knowledge that i wasn’t alone. I never told anyone about this whole thing as i don’t think i was 100% convinced and i carried on researching asexuality to make sure i did have it all right because i didn’t want to say i was this sexuality and for someone to be like ‘um actually you’re *this*, not asexual’. I also made the decision not to go to prom, my friendship group were all going together and they'd asked me to go but the whole thing just wasn't me, due to me having anxiety and hating the idea of human contact (Which to my understanding is being touch repulsed? A new term i've recent heard some people use in the asexual/aromantic community) a big crowded room full of people i didn't like was my worst nightmare, plus i think that i still had the taught process of prom = sex at some point during the night.  

When i was 17 i ‘came out’ to someone for the first time in person. At the start she really didn’t understand it which made me feel kinda down but she listened, she didn’t tell me i was crazy or leave, she asked questions and let me explain what it all meant and how i felt.

Im now 18 and i've 'come out' to a bunch of people, pretty much everyone has had a good response but i will occasionally get the 'Oh here we go, other special snowflake' eyeroll of someone when i talk about it but i just ignore it, i can't change the way they think and if they're so close minded that they can't accept that someone thinks or feels differently to the way they do they're not worth my time and they're not going to get very far in life seeing as the world is so diverse and they're suck in the middle ages.

I have ups and downs with my sexuality all the time, when i first figured out there was something ‘different’ about me i hated it coz i thought it was some unnatural thing. But i never denied that it existed, i never tried to like the idea of sex or pretend to be something i wasn’t, i always accepted that whatever was happening wasn’t something i could change, but that didn’t mean i was okay with it. Especially around 17 i would constantly go through lows of wishing i wasn’t ‘like this’ and that because of ‘it’ i would never be able to live a ‘normal’ life. I’m someone who’s never been in a relationship before and i’m so curious about what it would like to be in one (But due to me having social anxiety and i guess me as a person i’ve never even been asked out properly before). I still fear the whole ‘dying alone with cats’ kinda thing and i do want to be in a relationship and i know not having a sexual drive will limit the amount of partners i’ll be able to find but at the end of the day what can i do about it? i can’t change myself to be some hetrosexual barbie doll, i can only be myself. So i guess as a nice message to anyone out there who is struggling with any identity issues just google it man, honestly just look up whatever it is and you might find something like i did, i didn’t have to go on any hike up a mountain and kill a mystical dragon to understand what i was going through i just had to type into google ‘List of sexualities’ and wham! i’m now a slightly smaller mess of a human being who can successfully answer the question of ‘What is your sexual orientation?’

But yeah, thats my little story of self discovery, if you did actually read this then thanks? Hope you enjoyed? Maybe I inspired you? Feel free to share your own experience (I’d honestly love to hear other people's stories)????

#asexual #ace #actually asexual #ace spectrum #submission

[milkymoos]

50-99 hav fun :)

i hate u but im gonna do it.

left or right handed?

righty tighty !!

are you scared of spiders?

sure diddly am 

favourite food?

avocados or potatoes and green beans 

favourite foreign food?

sushi i suppose 

are you a clean or messy person?

clean i think but my room and bathroom are both realllllllllllllly messy rn

most used phrased?

what the hap is fuckening or henlo lads or hello! im a lesbian hfjaklsjhfhsj

most used word?

fuck or gay

how long does it take for you to get ready?

if its in the mornings before school like fifteen minutes bc fuck school but if im doing my make up and going out with friends like 2 hours sorry

do you have much of an ego?

noperooni

do you suck or bite lollipops?

give em a good succ

do you talk to yourself?

no, never. yeah ofc i fucking do what kind of question is this? everyone talks to themselves

do you sing to yourself?

yeah lmao

are you a good singer?

i already answered this but for ur sake; no. leah says sometimes i am but really i am not i just sound like a goose being stabbed, but i mean u can be the judge.

biggest fear?

abandonment, but thats too deep so like the dark

are you a gossip?

i love some gossip every now and then

best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

dunkirk, that was pretty dramatic

do you like long or short hair?

long hair but like does it really matter? no

can you name all 50 states of America?

yeah but im not gonna prove myself because thats so much typing and i have to spell every state right wtf

favourite school subject?

photography and english

extrovert or Introvert?

somewhere in the middle

have you ever been scuba diving?

no, but my brother has

what makes you nervous?

lol a lot of things?????????????????????????????

are you scared of the dark?

literally did i not just say that i was

do you correct people when they make mistakes?

yeah cause i love the drama of it all…lmao no it depends on what it is

are you ticklish?

this is sensitive information

have you ever started a rumour?

i dont think so

have you ever been in a position of authority?

i mean like i babysit kids and if they piss me off i yell so yes? is that what the question us asking? im a bottom??????

have you ever drank underage?

im a child of jesus h christ

have you ever done drugs?

i take four different prescription pills everyday so yeah! 

who was your first real crush?

what larrie made this

how many piercings do you have?

zero, but i would like some

can you roll your Rs?

no, doesn’t mean im not good with my tongue tho ;))))))) dahklfhjsdfafo

how fast can you type?

it depends if its something normal like an essay maybe like two words a minute but like if harry does something gay like 4821794087567234856 words a second ya know

how fast can you run?

am i being chased by a bear?

what colour is your hair?

brown, it used to be blonde and i think next year im gonna go back to blonde spoiler alert!

what colour are your eyes?

brown rip

what are you allergic to?

bees and pollen

do you keep a journal?

sorta, i have one that i barely write in

what do your parents do?

my dad is a software engineer and my mom steals money from my dad lol she’s wonderful!

do you like your age?

no im too old jfhalkjfhaog;a

what makes you angry?

my mother and donald trump, but other than that not much

do you like your own name?

 i mean not really but u win some u lose some u know

have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

yell heah i used to have like a whole list of names on my phone cause when i’d write i needed name references, but then i got a new phone and my life got screwed over anYWAY thats not that point uhhhhhh i like u know what its embarrasing NEVERMIND  

do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i want whatever my child want how bout that u stinky birb of a question 

what are you strengths?

uhm well excuse me while i talk myself up a bit but im caring and funny and im a good listener and im freaking adorable thanks for ur time lol idk i have no strengths i h8 myself bye

what are your weaknesses?

i get too attached to people and i give people too many chances and im too nice ok but uhm thats also too deep so cute animals and people that are named after flowers thanks for ur time haHa

how did you get your name?

i just asked my dad and he laughed and said “what do you mean” and then went “we just picked it” and apparently my name was supposed to be nicole ashley then ashley nicole and now its allison nicole. i have no significance to the world apparently. my chinese name is siaw rui

were your ancestors royalty?

my last name means king/emperor in chinese so careful ur talking to a princess 

do you have any scars?

yeah mostly from petting cats that didn’t want to be pet and then them attacking me sajdfkahf but all the other ones are like on the inside sjkdffasjdkfhsdfsdfkl hsdfk;sadjfhsklfsjfs IM LAUFHIGN

colour of your bedspread?

i have three ones like yellow, turquoise, and has branches on it, then the other one is just turquoise, and then i have a brown one  

colour of your room?

i also already answered this one and you know, but it’s white

#that took me so long i h8 u #also towards the end #i started to take the piss out on it #and most of it is just me being grumpy so enjoyu #rainbowloaferboots #ajlkdsfhaskdfjsfdksld #thank #long post #sorry

[kellodrawsalot]

Top five worst Sonic Archie issues

So a while back me and @greenyvertekins​ talked a bit about our favorite Sonic Archie moments, I was thinking of doing a TOp five/top ten favorite Sonic archie issues but honestly the moments I and Greenyvertekis mentioned were pretty much my favorite/best issues. So if you want to read here! most of them are also from the best written arcs so .....

Then I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to do a top five WORST Sonic arche issues instead? :) (warning Im from the Netherlands so my English is bad, feel free to spell correct me!)

Number 05 Issue 172

Going pretty low in the list because despite this being one of  my least favorite issues it should be noted that this was the start from the comic getting better and better at this point, this ugly-face just was the blacksheep from that collection.

Not only was the cover a bad reminder that the comic was seen as bad-furry-romance-drama which I really hoped the comic wanted to distant itself from it, the entire issue is a sadlyalso  bad-furry-drama. It starts off with Amy Rose confronting Fiona Fox about the rumors that she heard from Tails that she is cheating on Sonic with Scourge, (the Green Edgy Sonic recolor) Now the story of Fiona Fox is a pretty sad one, she never had much of a character to begin with. She was first introduced as a robot in her child form to lure Tails into a trap. It turns out that Eggman based her off a real person: Fiona Fox who someway or another was left behind by Mighty and Sonic in Eggman’s prison and she manage to escape but stil holding a grudge and got angry at them for it, That is mostly what I remember her from in the past issues. From then on she would just be background character number 55 a freedom fighter with no dialog, the only times I sort of remember her was that she liked the idea of using guns, and that Sonic was afraid for Tails to be rejected by the too-old-for-you girl Fiona.Sonic wanted to talk to FIona about this issue and she mentions she still thinks SOnic is selfish for leaving her behind but that his sacrifice in issue 125 made her change her mind somewhat, That’s it. Now the weird story behind Fiona is that Karl Boilers planned to use her as a second-love interest for Sonic after Sonic broke up with Sally. Sonic was supposed to enter a relationship with Amy Rose shortly after the Sonic/Sally break up. (Keep in ind that Amy Rose back then was still 10 years old mentally at that time YIKES.) and Fiona for whatever reason was to become a rival to Amy for Sonic’s affections. Now Ken Penders apparently interfered with this idea and Karl and Ken changed it into...Fiona Fox becoming Sonic’s girlfriend instead...out of the blue....out of nowhere. At least with Amy you knew she had a crush on Sonic but with Fiona? why would Sonic ever enter a relationship with a girl he hardly interacted with and with a girl his best friend was crushing on? ..moving on various issues later and writer Karl Boilers and Ken Penders were no longer on board and new writer Ian Flyn entered into the picture it was by then far too late to clean up this mess and I could tell from the comic’s writing that Ian wasn’t sure what to do with Fiona, he tried to give her a more Sally-personality with a bad history but that felt tripped and forced. He knew he had to break the two characters off and he thought the best way to do that was to reveal that Fiona Fox became a bad-girl who fell in love with Scourge due to the events off Sonic 150 (dont worry that issue will be brought up later)

Not only did this came out of no where, it felt forced even if Fiona had no character it felt like she really was just a pawn of a writer not sure what to do with her. It also didnt help that the issue ends in a weird anticlimatic way  and in the next issue most of the characters dont even talk or seem to be phazed with Fiona’s betrayel and  Sonic would be slightly flirtatious with Sally and Amy in the next issue too, (Really Sonic you just got dumped.) The issues saving grace is a cute side story with Amy Rose and Julie Su training together and some decent/good art overall.

Number 04 Knuckles the Echidna issue 32

Yes Knuckles does count as part of the Sonic series, and if the list would be Knuckles comic focused this would have been number one. Not only was this the last issue of probably the most boring arc I ever read It also nailed the coffin on the Knuckles series as it was canned after this issue. It introduced two very uncreative very Un-SegaSonic like characters: Monk and Hunter whose design and motivations are as generic as you can imagine. Ken Penders tries to make you feel for the Monk-character but I dont think anyone was convinced. I own this issue as well and HONESTLY I forgot I even read this issue as a child it was that forgettable, even in my Knucklesfangirl phase as soon as I finished reading the last 3 issues I forgot about it, It also doesnt help that the covers while nicely drawn by Galan were cluttered and too busy, Ken Penders did the book’s art and while he did a perfect job drawing Hunter his cartoon characters were always off-model and the way he draws large mangaeyes didn’t look well. In other words the art wasnt good either.

I only remember these issues  because of @hedgehogscantswim​ review, which I suggest you guys read into as they go into much greater depth on their blog on the flaws of the art, the character designs of Monk and Hunter and the overall big problem the last issue has.  

Number 3 Sonic issue 134

Oh Yeah let’s talk about the big one, let’s talk about the issue that caused many Sonic fans to drop the comic, lets talk about the issue that split the fanbase in half and what made the Sonic-Archie comics the laughing stock of Sonic spin offs for years to come until Ian Flyn joined and the much later soft-Reboot. If the Sally/Sonic/Mina love drama didn’t convince people that the comic had badfurryromance drama this issue sure did.

Sonic sacrificed himself in issue 125 to save the world,  but was transported to a different planet cause science, he survived and had space adventures with Aliens, met up with Tails parents somehow...(Really those issues are all a blur too me at this point.) he came back to Mobuis only to discover a year has passed since then, he reunites with his nowwithlonghair girlfriend Sally and by issue 125, Sally makes it clear to Sonic that she wants him by his side as she is sort-of forced by her parents to no longer be on the battle field. However Sonic cant possibly do that, he is the hero after all, he cant be tied down Sally clearry suffering from trauma after Sonic’s death begs him to stay by her side, Sonic  tearfully tells her he can’t and Sally takes Sonic’s rejection pretty well and says that she knows being a hero is in Sonic’s blood and decides to reject her parents wishes and join her boyfriend and the rest of her friends on the battle field.

No wait Never mind, she SLAPS him across the face and calls him Selfish and breaks up with him afterwards.

Not only did this issue came in the worst possible time when the Sonally/Sonamy ship wars was rampant in the Online Sonic fandom communities. The motivation and reason for Karl Boilers to do this was in such a bad taste as well. Karl who MOST Likely was aware of the growing popularity of the Sonamy ship and the hatred the sonamy fanbase had for Sally, from people calling her a marry sue, a slut because her lack of pants, ugly due to her brown color sceme, and other funny-horrible things because shipping is serious business, Probably wanted to win and be favored by a part of the Sonic fan base and had outlined plans to have Sonic and Amy Rose become an official couple in the comics. (Even if Karl wrote Amy Rose as a 10 year old mentally girl with a body of a 12 year old together with a 17 year old teen Sonic.) They had to become a couple. How to do this you ask? by breaking Sonic/Sally up and portraying  Sally out to be a selfish cunt of a woman, not only was this so disgustingly out of character and a slap to the face to the sonally and Sally fans, it was all to make the fans to transaction to the idea of Sonamy instead. It didnt help Sally’s position in the fanbase and she along with Chris and Elise would be among the list of the most hated characters where extreme Sonamy fanbrats now had valid proof on their side.It would take years for Sally to recover. To add insult to injury the only nice thing about the issue is the introduction of new artist John Gray (whose animish-cartoondisneyish style was colorful, pleasant and very pleasing to the eye! was more then needed at that time since the art quality standards was low back then. )John has stated he did NOT like working on this issue either due to the content and story. I am so thankful that Sally has been much better written for years now.

Number 02 Sonic Super Special issue 07 Crossover with Image Comics

Where to start with this, oh boy oh boy. I put this very high on the list because this has to be one of the worst crossovers spin ofss I have ever had the pleasure of reading. and I mean that the Powerrangers/TMNT crossover was more enjoybale that this mess. This is also very high on the list not only because the art was below average and many characters were off models but Mister Ken Penders used this crossover special to shoehorn his own ‘’characters’ from his comic book series the Lost Ones. (who btw got canned after only volume 01) his characters got the most attention out of everyone else. A image-comics with Sonic crossover already sounds sort of weird and silly but hey I am Spawn fangirl, I am intrigued. But I dont even get that.

(oh wait, this is fucking it, Spawn appears for about a page to say no to Sonic and then leaves thats it??) FOR FUCK SAKE....

Honestly @robotnikholmescomicblog​ gave this comic a great review and I suggest going to their tag of Ken-Penders-Why as they bring out most of the flaws of Ken Penders writing and they said it better then I ever will.

Overall the issue is just a mess, with shallowcheap cameos of image characters, Sonic and the freedom fighters being DICKS to most of the human characters for no reason, a very anti climatic ending and a giant commercial for Ken Penders doomed and boring characters that nobody gave a dam about) characters that he planned to use in ‘’The Lost ones’’ and Knuckles 20 years later. With a character hinting to become Knuckles’s greatest enemy yet with a very ugly boring design that could rivals Hunter. (btw none of these concepts go anywhere, Lost Ones was canned, and Knuckles 20 years later didnt come in fruition the way Ken Penders wanted.)

and number 5, worst issue Sonic issue 150

This is my most least favorite issues up to date and why you might ask

well for one thing the art is okay, I give it that but it doesnt even start with Sonic,

no we get a quick-reveal  of AntiSonic pretending to be the real Sonic flirting with all the girls in knothole

We get uncomfortable panels of Mina Mongoose almost cheating on her boyfriend with Sonic, Sonic and Bunnie making out and falling asleep next together, Sonic being creepy at Amy ect and none of the girls seem to realize that this is obvious not the real Sonic but ANti-Sonic. Everbody fails to notice that Sonic is  trying to flirt with all the girls he gets his eyes on. Only Tails seems to quistion it. Shows how much his own friends seem to know him. Or his own freaking family. The real Sonic is stuck in anti-mobuis and is busy trying to convince them that he is not AntiSonic, it’s very boring and dull. Also since the real Ant was stuck in anti Mobuis couldn’t he have tried to come back to his own world with Sonic? I dont know that just confused the heck out of me, The extra side story also doesn’t help, Its the conclusion to TailS ‘’the Chosen One’’ which was,,,pretty lame too with bland-art, and has the unfortunate of introducing the fanbase to the still-hilarious Titan Tails

(OHfuckmethat’sstupid.)

So the stories are stupid, the art is okay and lame. Why is it so high on the list?

It’s THE 150 anniversary issue and this is how Karl and Ken apparently wanted to celebrate it? It also doesn’t help that the cover is really underwhelming and boring compared to the 125th issue but that’s it’s least of its problems. A short while later Ian Flyn and Tracey joined the team and Ken and Karl left. For the better. But talk about a lame way to celebrate a 150th milestone. What a waste. 

#Archie Sonic #Sonic Archie comics #the worst #Ken Penders #Ken Penders is a douche #Kell0x #Hedehogscantswim #Sally Acorn #the slapp #Amy Rose #Fiona Fox #Ian Flyn #knuckles the echidna #sonic the hedgehog #greenyvertekins #robotnikholmes

[gooodmorninsunshine]

Part V: Lets talk about SSS: Our Senses and the Importance of SilenceHey Empaths: “Feelin so fresh right now we should call ourselves the ziploc gang”

Hey Heyyy lovely amazing humans,

  Were gonna keep it lighter today, a bit of a controversial day out here and in that regard ive relaxed a little bit here in my writing and getting pretty darn comfortable with this flow "exxxcuse me flow" D & D reference. 

You’re gonna get to know me a little more  about my real authentic true self, this writing is who I really am. 

Growing up in a broken system has opened my eyes, yes all three of them, if for those of you that are my peeps you’ll understand that reference.

 Also you're gonna see more Dumb and Dumber quotes and probably a Buttt Ton of Will Ferell. 

I tend to write how I talk. 

But for this instance i wont let letters draggg on as much, but hey you know if you text me and your one of me peeps I always exaggerate letters because its just the way I speak, very enthusiastically.

I also notice when my brain is in a flow I type quickly and for some reason smell checking it just a pet peeve for me so yes this may be riddled with some spelling errors. Did ya notice the word smell instead of spell? I really have always disliked going back and re reading my work. The essays my teachers would give back to me were practically all underlined in red and read ‘ use a dictionary next time’

***but also keep in mind when you do notice a spelling error, notice your brain during this. Your brain picks up on mistakes quickly instead of understanding the sentence itself.

Wasn't there a math trick that showed this? 

1+1=3

4+1=5

3+1=4 

Did your brain do it? Automatically went to the wrong math equation, instead of noticing the other 2 correct ones. We're not perfect human beings, so lets not be to critical of others and ourselves and try not to notice the mistakes and instead take in the things that resonate with you, try to retrain the mind to accept this and dive in***

****Big Thank You to all the empaths out there! Thank you for keeping this flow going for me, you know who you are and none of this writing would have been possible without you, thanks for helping me find me and my comfort zone, Hallelujah!***

Lets all Shhhhhh for a moment,

Were gonna go mute and talk about the importance of our other senses

We are so much more than just words

We all learn our behaviour from somewhere and this begins at a very young age

Before we learn to speak, our mind is being conditioned 

We are very observant creatures, especially at a young age when we are muted we tend to pick up more on the reactions and responses of others while watching their movements and mannerisms. 

When we are muted our other senses are heightened and smell and taste become much more apparent.

When were not able to verbally communicate yet, or ever for some, we naturally rely on our other senses to help us navigate through life.

Communication and connection through our senses is pretty powerful stuff and can create alot of insight about ourselves. And Hey aren't we all just trying to figure out who we really are?

our body talks to us all day long such as

Ive got an itch on my nose so my hand scratches it or ouch I stubbed my toe, which recently happened to both chic and mom within a few days of each other.

Our body is constantly communicating with itself and most of this happens unconsciously. 

Our brain thinks about something and our body just does it. Obviously theres more science to it than that but hey lets stay light today and honestly i dont feel like trying to learn all the terminology. Sometimes the details complicate things, lets keep it simple 

Unconscious communication is more prevalent when you consider muscle memory. 

 Do you ever unconsciously reach for something and its not there? And afterward realizing its not there you process this. 

 This usually happens when i go to brush my teeth, I open the drawer grab it without even looking down. 

 Our body recalls specific motions and patterns that we do more regularly and saves this information. 

This can be gooood and also bad. 

 I am right now trying to become more aware of these patterns such as putting on the kettle without even asking myself do i really want a tea right now? 

Its important for us to stop and think about the movements were actually making and why. 

Unconscious communication through muscle memory can also be a good thing such as typing on this keyboard right now. 

 This type of communication with the body can enhance our lives more efficiently but that doesnt necessarily mean its more effective. 

Multi tasking is a great skill yes yes and includes alot of muscle memory especially in a work place setting. However weve got to consider how well are we actually doing each task. 

Were kind of half assing all the tasks instead of doing an exceptional job dedicated to one task only. 

 Because we live in a 'consumer convenience' era, multi tasking is expected at every job and if you cant keep up well hey they'll find someone who will. Places of employment no longer value the same skills they once used to, but lets leave that stuff for another day. 

So were always chit chattin to our bodies, whether we realize it or not and vise versa

Our bodies are always communicating with us, we just gotta pay more attention sometimes. I am guilty of this in this moment as my lower back aches a bit from sitting and writing and i should go do a quick stretch.

Connecting with our body and my senses has given me alot of insight Its important for me to remember how essential my other senses are

Yes words are powerful and beautiful and conveying, however lets dive into our other awesome gifts first

Stop! in the namee of LOVE and smell the roses: SMELL

Smell is something we really do take for granted now a days

We forget to smell fresh flowers and fresh berries

Smell the air around us and the changes it has on your body when it blows

Smell that beautiful ocean breeze and notice the small of the Sulphur, the marine life and sometimes sure it can be a wee bit stinky on the shoreline

But our ability to smell is really quite unique and special and affects us all differently. Strong perfumes personally give me and many other people a headache.

We are all so beautifully different and lets embrace it all. 

Animals of course have a much more heightened sense of smell

Animals without the capability to speak rely solely on their senses

A bear can smell meat 5 miles away, cmon now 5 miles, that’s honestly wild to try and comprehend.

5 miles is over 8000 m and if you remember running the 100 M dash in gym class well that’s a great distance to go.

 Its recommended when your hiking long distance trails not to pack meat, especially near the end of the berry season. When you are hiking you will see 'bear box or caches' in some camping areas, this is obviously to cover the scent.

***But cmon who loves Will Ferell? I definitely do! Anchorman classic  "the bears can smell the menstruation" funny joke for sure, except its not really a joke. 

Ive spoke to a few hikers who backpack and said this is actually real and bears can smell blood from 5 miles away. I have legitimately been told not to go hiking when i am on my cycle. I have also spoken to a few people who have said nahh thats not true so honestly who knows, but Im not signing up for that experiment regardless. 

Have you ever smelt a specific flower or perfume or pool water or gasoline, or obviously theres over 1000 plus infinity smells. Have you ever smelt something recently and it reminded you of a previous time in your life? Sometimes smell can take you back to past memories and things that you forgot about, sometime a scent can transcend us back to that very moment. I have experienced this among many many others. When we are open and relaxed this is much more abundant.

Who doesn't love to go outside after it rains, or even better during it and dance to a little John Melloncamp with the fam jam, that ones for you dad!

The ground and the air sure smells extra fresh after a good rainstorm, the earth's natural cleanser. 

Who else lovesssss water, in all of its varying and uniquely different forms, and temperatures.

Probablyyyy most of us as it’s essential for our survival. 

Who loves a nice cold shower? Always good to do for a nice body reset and actually recommended by some more wise individuals. 

Have you ever noticed how good you feel after a dip in the lake?

Are there any other mermaids out there? Or anybody with alot of water in their charts? Swimming for some of us is one of the most incredible sensations. Floating and flippin around in the waves is really freeeing for the body and the mind. 

Campfires

Im not sure if your the same as my awesome little hippie family but we love this smell, and the smell of a campfire puts us all into an instant relax chill mode. 

* Also if you want to get even weirder like us, leave your campfire scented sweater for when you wake up in the morning and youll automatically be in a relaxed mood. And i know its not just my and my fam who does this cause ive met a few of you that find great comfort in this as well. 

Nature and its elements are so calming eh. Scents both knowing or not can dictate our moods and reactions

Scents remind us of our memories and they remind us of what we do and do not enjoy

Most people dislike the smell of cigarettes, for some its a memory association response and for some they have hold onto some judgements about it.

Have you ever walked by a group of people who dont have access to a washing machine and thought 'eww gross?'

Sometimes our mind associates scents negatively and unknowingly we allow it to dictate our reactions or opinions. 

Whatever people are wearing or smellin like you can still give them a smile, be sure to take your mask off so they can seeee and feeel your enthusiastic energy. 

 Smiles go a long long long way for people and when you smile at something that typically your judgmental about, your showing your brain whose BOSS, your teaching it to change your reactions and stop meaningless and inauthentic opinions by doing so. 

Everyones got a favourite scent, i wonder what yours is and why? What does it remind you of? What scents trigger you in a negative way and why? Smell is much more prevalent when we are calm and relaxed

Mmmm food, keepin our bellies happy keeps us happy : TASTE

Our amazingly sophisticated taste buds and their ability to decipher from each other and every flavour we put into our mouths. And thank you universe and mother earth for such variety. Our taste buds change over time which ive always found of kind of interesting, they sort of mature with age alongside ourselves

***If my dad was here today he would be telliing you all about this.

"your tastebuds are gonna change one day guys' and my sisters and I would obviously disagree as children tend to do with their parents when their trying to avoid their vegetables. 

As I child I would always get a ham, cheese and mayo sub.

And I do mean ALWAYS, for about a decade that never changed

And my dad would often recommend i put some veggies on there, I must say i felt fairly strongly about my dislike of veggies growing up, I typically went for the meat and cheese, chic for the potatoes and my older sis would go for the veggies, she knew the importance of eating well at a very young age.

Our dad was pretty darn accommodating when it came to this tho because of course it wasn't just me, chic was the same and well we know were stronger in groups right? So my dad eventually gave up and he started to make his famous chicken alfredo in two batches. He would make his and the lovely amazing human he was with at this time. He would make theirs with peppers, onions and mushrooms. 

I am almost drooling and i havent finished the sentence yet, which reminds me of ***Parlov's Dog experiment* This references how powerful our nervous system is in connection to our body and includes how impactful our memory can be.

He would make theirs, and a separate one for chic and I with only the Alfredo and chicken. But hey we loved it and ate it every time so he stopped fighting us and just reminded us in a very funny manner, just wait till your taste buds change one day guys, and we would laugh at this ridiculously absurd possibility. Annnnd thann!     

Luckily my dad was still around to see this development actually happen We would tell him about all the veggies we put in our food now a days and all the new veggies weve learned about, and he was in shock when he learned i dont even eat meat anymore and actually follow more of a plant based diet. He had the biggest smile on his face, ' seeeee i told you guys' he would say. 

We sometimes take this sense for granted, shoveling food into our mouths at such a fast pace because we only have an hour lunch break at work.

Do you know its recommended to chew food, 27 or 28 times? Can't recall that i learned  it recently, but that recommendation dates back to an ancient Indian philosophy telling us to slow down when we are eating, its better for our digestion as well. 

Did you know how long it actually takes for a home cooked meal to be ready? forrrrrrrever it feels like sometimes. 

 My family could tell you more about this one specifically as they make bigger meals for their own families now. 

 Lasagna or shepards pie is coming to mind right now, mom and chic make the best dishes! This process requires time and is well worth it afterwards, a nice home cooked meal for the family. Meat or no meat whatever your into. 

Its nice to sit down together and appreciate good conversation and home cooked meals, your own little community gathering. 

Families still do this yes, its just not as common, for very understandable reasons, no one has any of their OWN time anymore.

Both parents are now expected to work to survive, our new age, obviously this beautiful tradition is much harder to consistently continue and gradually fades away. 

Conveniently during this we saw a massive rise in  technology resulting in overstimulation in children and less availability for social skills to develop. A family sitting down together over dinner and chattin about their day is really quite a sacred tradition to cherish. 

Naturally with our chaotic world we forget the importance this could have on us and our healthy developments. 

Its funny cause as kids we always found this so annoying and couldn't wait to leave the dinner table to get back outside, completely unaware the length of time it takes to cook a meal. As an adult I find I really cherish the times i am able to get back and over to my moms kickass backyard and hang with my family over a beautiful meal. And you know if youve ever come to momma bears house just how smoothly this whole operation goes. 

***Momma Bears backyard shenanigan's... Hey Farvo! Whats the place we used to go to all the time? Super trooper reference, another classsic*** 

Chics preppin the veggies, shes got all her spices going, moms gettin the BBQ lit and they debate whose gonna cook. As i am typing this im realizing i haven't been pulling my weight as much as i could be, gosh i am so spoiled! Real families making real food today is a process and its quite a beautiful one. The preparation involved as a team is very bonding. So sit down and enjoy it afterwards and try and give your fam jam your full attention, you might notice a difference emotionally. 

***One trick my nana tried to teach me was to put my knife and fork down between bites in order to train myself to slow down while enjoying a meal.

Sometimes in this chaotic world, not crazy world because that term is used very loosely now and we throw it around, again I face this challenge many many times because as an empath I see, feel and observe from a different perspective. 

And many many many of you are exactly the same, obviously perceiving things all differently but you get what i mean, we've all got this in us. 

We all have the ability to quickly view both sides of a circumstance if we are able to be open and calm. If your different its time to embrace it! 

Being different is wayyyy cooler and more fun when you find your peeps obviously, and this is really starting to happen for me. When you find your community that you vibe with, wow magical things can happen.  

Sometimes in our chaotic consumer driven era we do not have the time to enjoy a meal, we simply need the energy to fuel us for the rest of the day. It doesn't have to be this way, slow down, stop working overtime and keep our guts happy, remember its considered to be our second brain. 

What we ingest is very important for our emotional and physical development.  Its important to know what food we are ingesting and whether it benefits your body or not. Most of us don't even look at labels anymore, we buy it from the store and trust that its safe, and yes this includes me, who has time to read all those ingredients right? And google all those long complicated words.

Our senses have incredible capabilities and i have definitely taken them for granted. We beat our body constantly by eating process foods and smelling and using toxic products. I am very guilty of this as I really did not pay attention nor care about what i ate and drank in previous years. 

This was also related to some underlying issues so it was important for me to WAKE UP and deal with my shit in order to start caring about what I was putting into my body.    

***Our body is our temple, our soul dictates how it is treated*** 

**See RAT PARK experiment: We are a by product of our environment and this does affect our senses and the connections to our body***

Do you live in a city?

I do and i am definitely breathing in more pollution than someone whose livin their best air life up north in the woods.

Do you live beside a farm? The soil, the grass and the air can influence your body emotionally and physically. The methane from all the cows poooop is something people are looking into more seriously, among other reasons.

Do you live by a nuclear plant or garbage and recycling centre?

Do you notice a difference emotionally and physically when you are out walking in the woods, old growth forests all around? You're finally getting clean oxygen and this is essential for our healthy development. Of course we must consider the hike itself, walking in nature and getting healthy exercise. Stuff like this is a big factor and can improve your development emotionally and physically. But have you ever noticed how great you feel afterwards? 

*Nature is magic, nature is healing and nature is our medicine***

Come and knock on our door, weve been waiting for you! :SOUND

Most of us are born with the ability to hear and now a days tech is so fancy they are able to help individuals who have trouble with this. Those who do not have this sense means their other senses are naturally heightened which is pretty incredible as well when we consider this. Our body is incredible and decides hey were sorry you cant hear, our bad, lets kick up all your other senses in return.  

Something I experience from an old knee injury is some back issues because my body has been overcompensating on the one side for so long. Pretty neat to think that even when were hurtin our body is able to support us

Our ability to hear sounds still boggles me because new sounds and patterns just keep on coming around,this will never end, limitless creative possibilities

We just gotta stay focused enough to create. 

Infinite possibilities, never stop creating! We can make music, play instruments, become a dj like my super cool cuz, for real check him out, what do they say now a days? hes dopppppe! 

WE can shuffle our feet around, whistle and clap our hands. 

Sounds can gesture signs of appreciation and can also indicate signs of warning. 

Have you ever been walking downtown and faintly hear the sound of someone screaming and it scares you? Whats your reaction to this very moment? Do you flee to help them? Are you automatically scared? Do you freeze? Its important to start to notice our responses, in these particular situations. We believe we have no control over our reactions, but we do and we can change them.

Have you ever noticed when you work with the same people you begin to listen to their foot patterns and can figure out whose coming

That may sound extreme to some but let me tell ya everybody moves their feet differently and if you and if you work with someone enough youll start to notice this pattern and even know whose coming in the room before our sight registers it.

Sound allows us to decipher between a saxophone and drums, among many many other instruments. Sounds picks up unconsciously on different frequencies and their levels affect us more than we realize. There is a really neat deep sleep app i use and because the frequency is different it helps you fall asleep faster and into a more REM cycle, something about delta waves? 

Our ability to hear allows us to become musicians and singers like wonderful MS, she sung in the kitchen when we were making food together in costa rica and it was so very enchanting. Have you ever just heard someone's voice and sort of fall into a bit of a meditative state? MS has the ability to do this! and naturally other people felt safe enough to join in allowing themselves to open up further. We are connected and help eachother on this wild ride of life.

Embrace our beautiful gifts and keep on roaring!

We can recreate ourselves, or how I like to see it, we return to our true self without all of the systems conditioning. We can free our minds!  

We can choose a song we want to listen to next and make a playlist, this is all apart of creation! *Also please share your awesome playlists with me, I would love to hear them***

Have you ever noticed how your mood can shift when 'your jam' comes on, instantly lifts your mood, a game changer we say. Sound gives your body the ability to overrride your emotional thought process.

Whatever your thinking about changes in an instant. An example of this is when someone honks their horn, and thanks sis for talking about the mustang today. But lets play this scenario out, your driving, your cruising, your jamming to your fav song on the radio, windows down, life is grand. Than BAM someone honks a horn and suddenly everything changes. 

Or what about when your walking downtown and you consistently hear the sound of sirens, dont you think psychologically this could affect someone deeply, more deeply than others due to underlying trauma. Maybe someone whose gone through this hears the sound of an ambulance or police car and it instantly reminds them of traumatic event, causing them to react differently, causing them to react from their flight or flight nervous system.

Maybe some people do not trust authority because they have never been shown the same level of respect in the system. 

Or what about someone who has experience a fire? and they hear the sound of a firetruck and well surely that sound could activate their fight or flight system.

Or what about the sounds of the birds in the morning?

Birds are also very powerful and unique creatures and for fun sometimes i like to watch them in the morning fly around chasing each other, animals still play! Humans still play!

You could be walking to work in a rush because time is a constructed illusion and your body knows this, but regardless you're stressed out and racing to work. Suddenly you hear the birds, and if you can take a second or longer, this really can calm you down. Animals make the coolest noises, elephants, monkeys, dolphins, all communicate non verbally and effectively because guess what they're still huntin and sleepin as a team. Watch some planet earth and see how they unite non verbally, its pretty powerful. 

Animals have incredible capabilities and utilize all their other sense for their survival. Humans also have incredibly heightened senses, truly a gift that we forget to embrace sometimes because were so busy in our go go consumer convenient society.

Eye spy with my little Eye :SIGHT

How long has it been since you played that? Hang out with some of your nieces and start playing again. Bring back your inner child because honestly having fun and being silly is what life is all about.

Our eyes, have you ever stopped to think about how amazing this actually is. We can see for miles, some not as far as others even further. Weve all got different colors and capabilities. And if this is lacking well our world is pretty advanced so they can hook ya up with some pretty great eyewear these days, or even now laser surgery can correct this. Dang eh thats cool, the gift of vision is now readily available! 

We can see colours, we can see rainbows, different shades etc 

*or are colours just a projection of our reality?*** Oh la la heavy subject definitely wont dive into that one anytime soon* 

Our sight allows us to see mountains and oceans, we can go from city to city, continent to continent and see varying landscapes and architectures.

Have you ever thought of your ideal travel destinations? 

Where would you want to go and why? 

What are you curious about these days?

Our eyes distinguish the difference between yellow and orange, and for some they see all brown and dont know theyre actually wearing purple. I couldn’t imagine being colour blind I think that would be really challenging. But I guess if your born that way you don’t really learn any different right so your other senses adjust accordingly.

Our eyes have the ability to adjust to the light around us, and this is important when you want to get out at night and just stare above. The stars the moon the planets, its all connected to us down here on earth. 

Take a moment to see if you can feel this, try to get out on the next meteor shower, or even just look up more often at night if you can, its so elegant and beautifully complex up there. 

Astrology we will definitely have to get into in another chapter, but for fun if you can find out what time you were born, where and when, check out your birth chart. Not everyone believes in this which is all good. I do however believe that we come from the universe above. I like to believe that the stars, the planets, how everything is lined up when you were born is kind of like your soul DNA code.

For fun look up your birth chart and see if you learn anything new about yourself? 36 pages of free info all about you! Some may not resonate of course but its pretty insightful to figure out your elements and all THREE of your signs

*Take a few minutes and enjoy your senses*** This is called a grounding technique and is very effective. If your feelin a lot of knots in your stomach than take a moment, slow down, notice your surroundings and focus on your senses.

What are you smelling? 

Do you need to put deodorant on? And those of you that know me understand why I ask this speiific question.  

I like to use something without aluminum in it because I learned that sweating is very natural and its not really that healthy to be clogging up our pores. 

Our bodies need to sweat out the toxins and its trying to get it out. 

I tend to use a natural odorizer and it takes away the smell but the moisture still get outs. Or honestly a little trick i taught the community that I have done before is baking soda, cheap and very effective, sprinkle a little on and your ready to go on that tinder or bumble or whatever more dating apps they got now a days. 

and yes I to have tried them before but in doing so I have learned that I am not as social as I thought and thats okay. Hangin quietly with someone on a deeper level and talkin about real shit is what excites me. Aristotle theories vs Plato, Where did we all come from? and Of course watching Cosmos from our genious buddy Neil Degrassi Tyson. I cherish real and authentic conversations with people. Enough with the superficial blah blah ya know, Substance and Value in conversations helps me comprehend information quicker. and right now I wannnna learn more and more and I find when you converse with others on the same level your mind expands.

What are you smelling?

What are you hearing?

Is the dishwasher going? 

Is the water dripping from the tap? 

Is the toilet running? And if so make sure you tell your landlord cause that shit costs alot of extra money for them, sorry momma bear for your last tenant but thank you for this valuable life lesson!

Do you taste anything? is your mouth dry? Do you still taste the kale smoothie you just had? Mix it with some other flavors yum yum!

What are you hearing?

I don't live as close to downtown anymore thankfully so i don't hear the sirens as much when im at home trying to relax. i honestly never realized how much they affected me until i moved elsewhere. The loud noises, the abrupt sounds, and the constant reminder that someone somewhere else is suffering in this very moment, kind of pulls on your heart strings a little right? 

We are obviously dealing with a very serious Opioid crisis right now and the sirens are non stop here. It brings me a bit of sadness. I like to have a quick prayer for whoever they are attending to and hope they make it. The opioid crisis is even more amplified and Ive gotta carry two kits of Naloxone at work instead of one. But thats also a topic for another day. 

ohhhh i got the feeeelin' : TOUCH

And lastly are amazing gift, the sensation of touch and feel.

This one is heckaaa important as well.

We get to feel all sorts of different textures when were in kindergarten class, remember that board with all the different felts and such on it? 

Thank you universe for our opposable thumbs.

Humans get to run sand through their fingers, feel the water wash over them and walk barefoot in the woods

***also important to look up, actually forget looking it up just go and dooooo it! 

There are a lot of benefits to walking barefoot in the woods or somewhere clean and safe in nature. 

 Reflexology is super fascinating and essentially all of your organs can be traced back to the bottom of your feet. Its important to walk around with no shoes on as often as you can when your outside somewhere you feel safe. Feel the grass under your toes, dip your feet into the cold ocean and walk on rocks for fun. Honestly after a while your feet are so strong and they toughen up.

*** sista lovin right here***

Chic and I used to RUN barefoot across the rocks at the trailer, honestly we would sprint to see who could get to the beach the fastest. Not like it mattered tho mom and dad always made us wait...they would take their sweeeet time laaaa deee daaa, you know how parents tend to do that as their in relax mode. But this didnt change anything for us, everytime we would still run and run and run to see who could get there first. ya know that good ol competitive sibling nature. Theyd give us the nod when they got close enough and we jumped in that water as quickly as we could. We would swim to the other side of the river and whoevers cottage it was, but he had a dock. We had to be pretty sneaky cause sometimes he would come down and yell at us. 

Little did he know, we knew the patterns of the rocks to climb up his place, and obviously we would just start diving and diving some more. 

We’d be practicing our flips and shouting ‘hey watch this one” you know how kids always tend to do cause their so excited to show off their cool new moves!

 The feel of the rocks, the grass, than the sand, and the water, it’s a pretty beautiful gift we have to experience all these sensations in only a few minutes.  

Remember how good it used to feel running for no reason? 

Like pheobe on friends?

just running with no care in the world, now thats authentic livin. 

Its actually healthy for our development and fluid functioning for us to blow off some steam, for everyone, get that natural adrenaline out every so often, punch a bag or go for a run, whatever works for you, its your body and you know better than anyone else what outlets work for you. 

Touch, well we all know where this sense can lead us...lets talk about sex baby,

but actually no thats a whole nother topic for a different day. 

More importantly sex wasnt meant for what some of us think. Sex is actually something very special and sacred. And for women we are allowing a mans energy into our body and we need to be aware that this is actually a big deal. Sex is not meant to be expolited like it is advertised today. 

Women we gotta protect our energy at times. **Thank you MS for this amazing insight, you're wonderful and keep on singing girl!*** and men with other men should really consider this to. 

When another person enters your energy field it can shift you unconsciously emotionally and physically.

Touch can be non sexual and yet still intimate. An ancient Indian tradition is to rub sesame oil over your body and massage your limbs one by one, start to investigate your own body intimately and im not talking about in a sexual manner so get your mind outta the gutter because thats where it tends to go when this conversation is mentioned.  Massage your feet, rub your arms, feel your skin, this is all part of you and your skin has a ton of nerves attached that want a little love and nourishment sometimes. 

 Notice if you go over a body part like your arm or nose or whatever it is for ya, are you judging yourself? 

 These are only your OWN judgements and those thoughts really dont belong in your mind anyways. **You are amazing! Re train your mind to stop judging yourself* Take it easy and remember you’re doin the best you can. Honestly it works! Keep telling yourself how much you love you! *** also important to do your shadow work, you can’t have fake positivity floating around all the time, eventually you’ve gotta look deeper, this is how to reach true happiness. Investigate the dark in order to get to the light***

*If ya wanna try for fun one night cut up some onions, grab a pair of tight socks, put it all together and go to sleep. 

You’d be amazed at the amount of toxins that come out of your body at night when doing this. Because hey our feet are attached to all the others parts of our body to.   

You can also touch others intimately and again not in a sexual manner. 

Give someone else a massage, honestly it will make their day because touch is sacred and special. Notice how good you feel after a massage, and how relaxed you feel.

Take some time to slow down and feel your body, explore it and get comfortable with, Its important to cherish it and treat our body respectfully. It is our body and we deserve to to love it, every bit of it. This is something I am still working on but it is really helping allowing me to just be more free, dance around like ya just dont care, put your hands together for a nice little prayer, explore your limbs and how they move differently. 

We have this notion that touch is only meant to be used in a sexual manner and this really is not the case. 

Massage your feet, they will appreciate it. 

Our bodies are all uniquely beautiful and our soul thrives off this connection, feeling safe and comfortable with yourself and others

Our bodies are incredible eh!  And i havent even gotten into the actually anatomy of it.

PSYCH! i will not be doing that, i commend all of you who know each and every bone and muscle etc, thats actually super important information to educate ourselves on, but whose got the time unless thats your main study.

Our senses are very influential on us. 

Our senses actually have the ability to snap us out of our thinking process, and lets face it, sometimes we all need that

***remember your emotions are the clouds in the sky, and they come, they go, they pass, but its the blue sky underneath, that's who you REALLY are***

Our senses restore memories, memories that we honestly didnt know we would ever recall, and this experience can bring you right back into that moment, good or bad, so its important to try and learn our triggers. Lets all get a little proactive with our emotional health and get ahead of it, when you start telling your body whose the boss, your soul returns back to its true nature.

**also did we ever find out who was the boss? Angela or tony? is that debate still going on?***

I remember having a fresh blackberry from this garden place up the road, and honestly it was theeeee besst ever.

 It took me right back to the first moment i had ever tried one that was fresh off the tree. I instantly was brought back to my friends cottage that sat on the lake, the bunkee that all the kids would sleep in and the layout of the landscape. In an instant it all came back, it was very profound.  

**also gotta add, "feelin so fresh right now we should call ourselves the Fabreeze sisters" There he is again, ferell, except im changing the brothers to sisters because thats the bond i relate to the most.***

All of our senses can connect us to something deeper

All of our senses impact us much more than we give them credit for

I recommend attending a silent retreat and through the week notice how your senses heighten when you are muted. There is no room for people pleasing, fake smiles or inauthentic conversations, this is time just for you. and i highly to recommend trying this experience. You will most likely notice your surroundings much more, and this time allows you to appreciate the smaller things

. ***Costa Rica, Howler monkeys every where yes yes super cool! 

but whats also interesting is how much more the entire community noticed them when we were silent. 

We all stopped and watched them, silently. We noticed their patterns more and also how they grab the mangos, they eat a few bites that are ripe and than they drop the rest on the ground, so loook out from ABOVE!***

TBC: to much content for one day! 

Everybody Love Everybody

[archer3-13]

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM: SEED DESTINY: EPISODE 5, THE ONE WHERE SHINN YELLS AT CAGALLI AND ITS KINDA AWESOME?

i mean, like, im sure if your a cagalli stan or whatever its frustrating (as should most of how seed destiny has potrayed her so far), but like. i wanna like her, i do kinda like her, i just find it difficult because she was poorly written in seed and has consistently been inconsistent in what and how her characters potrayed.

anyways, yeah another pretty good episode and one with character primarily on display which is nice. junius 7 is on a crash course for earth (because of space terrorists as revealed right at the start of the episode, which is a bit of a shame but again isnt a deal breaker and does put the dread into its own interesting context), people are freaking out, some asshole named djribil and a bunch of old farts in suits who are presumably earth political leaders of some sort sit in a nice room smockin, drinkin, and playing pool before deciding ‘fuck coordinators, blue cosmos forevah’. djribil whos name sounds like a hot air balloon yeets a billiard ball for some reason. yzak and dereaka make their reappearance with yzak now in command of a ship of all things (neat) and dereaka piloting a mobile suit. terrorists, athrun decides to pilot a mobile suit again, and things heat up with the phantom pain bogey 1 on scene as well, though they havent done anything yet.

so, some good set up going on here. the terrorist intro again feels a little premature but by doing so early its better able to establish who they are and the threat they pose. the action beats they provide at the end also help the episode kick up at the end making for a pretty good cliff hanger. not much else to say about them so far, aside from them possibly playing into a thematic idea destiny might ultimately end up bungling or missing completely. ill get back to you on that later...

honestly not much i can really say on this one. its actually pretty good like the previous four, some decent animation and shot composition, better music thats played at better moments, its not a revolutionary story so far but there feels like an earnest attempt to address problems that were in seeds writing being made and its generally kinda fun, exciting and well paced so far.

i do wanna mention whats going on with shinn and cagalli in this episode. or rather, shinn gives cagalli the riot act and it hurts cagalli cause its kinda true. basically this is where we get a first glimpse as to what exactly it is about orb and his sisters death that rubs shinn the wrong way and he accuses as being hypocritical about orb. And sugarcoating it as he put it in previous episodes is actually a pretty good way of putting it.

basically, shinn accuses orb of being hypocritical because well its leaders make a big show of peace, neutrality, harmony and the like they were unable to protect their citizens when the chips were actually down during the invasion of orb, in part because orbs leaders dont have a full grasp on the consequences of their actions and put abstract principles over their citizens and reality. And honestly, hes rather correct in this assessment, atleast of what happened. orb was not able to protect its citizens, orb placed principles over security, and the citizens of orb suffered because of those decisions. sure orbs central leaders of the time blew themselves up because ‘muh honour’ but thats not exactly accountability for their mistakes. and look whos in charge of orb now, the daughter of the previous leader whos trying hard to emulate her fathers ideals and principles. its not fair to bring bias against her father against her mind, but it is a reasonable assumption to make that its the same shit as before under a different name.

unfair and coming from an emotional gut response? certainly. unfounded? no, and thats what makes someone finally rubbing cagallis nose in it oddly satisfying. i even dont mind how cagalli and athrun handle it in private because well they do have a bit of a pity party and dont really address the validity of what shinn said (which admittedly you probably would not do in a situation like that if you were trying to calm a friend down), it is a surprisingly tender scene that uses flashback footage to reflect what a character is feeling without spelling it out (athrun mentioning that shinns occupied with his own anger and grief well flashbacking to athruns anger and grief from seed such as juinus 7s destruction), some good music to set the scene and mood and well i do find the use of “he wont be able to understand” a bit of that fuck you got mine kinda aspect of seed that annoyed me and in the concept of destinys infamous reputation... in the context of the episode alone it works in the vein of “well you understand his grief of losing family, he wont be able to understand yours until hes ready and no longer occupied with his own grief”, which i honestly feel is a more compelling way to read the scene especially with athrun mentioning to luna that cagalli lost family as well. not necessarily a condemnation of what shinn said, simply an attempt to convey that cagalli does understand more then they think.

also the cut of shinn looking through pictures on his sisters phone of his sister and family after his outburst against cagalli during athrun and cagallis tender scene helps the emotional resonance of it as well. it calls back to that great phone message scene from the previous episode that is still my fave one so far, it feels like something someone going through grief and unable to process it or simply wishing to remeber lot family might do to calm down (like looking through a photo album but with a phone), the pictures are nice, and its a tender if tragic scene in its own right.

rey also shows that well hes the reigns to shinns anger, he does get it and doesnt condemn shinns anger just how he expresses it. athrun deciding that he will pilot a mobile suit because he doesnt want to sit back anymore if only temporarily, the looming threat of juinus 7 and the more abstract political ramifications of it, and athrun calling out his real name as opposed to his fake name as he takes off in the suit is a nice piece of symbolism. again its just... its a good episode. regardless of when the other shoe drops i am always going to stand by the opinion that seed destinys early episodes are better then seeds early episodes. and that shinn > kira.

alternative goofy title for this episode is the one where we learn durandel canonically fucks, or at the very least sleeps in the nip.

#gundam #gundam seed #gundam seed destiny #lets watch #episode 5 #durandel naked #and cagalli gets verbally reckted

[survivorwakea]

Episode #3: “New Tribe New Tribulations.” - Ben

That joint tribal went almost perfectly besides the fact that a dean voted for me for whatever freakkkkiing reason, but I really came out of that tribal with close allys in Johnney and Chloe from the other tribes so I really think that is dope I would type more but I’m shot

wow ladies so im sitting on the toilet rn and i am fucking shaking in my boots. do u know how worried i am rn. im so worried. johnny said at the joint tribal that we were SOMEHOW not a part of that the 13 of them had already gotten to know each other and meet each other and everything that hit me rly hard bc like.... shit. shit shit fuck. fuck fuck shit. fuck. they’re friends already and more likely than not lono is gonna get picked off one by one at the tribe swap or whatever im literally so scared

Omg omg omg I just went to like my first ever live tribal and it was soooo exciting omg omg omg. I really loved having the chance to sort of better connect with these people and have a moment with them that you wouldn't otherwise have really. And, I survived so that's a massive plus as well!! Eek I'm just so excited right now to be playing this season and everyone on the other tribes seem so active and happy and I'm really looking forward to getting to know them more throughout the season. It sucks I had to lose Dean but we all have to make sacrifices somewhere.

Just got on new tribes and I’m pleased. I think I should be able to make some strong connections here. Elmo’s on my tribe and that really helps. Also talking to Joey and he seems pretty cool. Hopefully we do a good enough job on whatever song we choose so none of us have to go home. Hopefully Johnny, Justin, and Taylor are alright. I still kinda don’t know what I’m doing or where I am. Didn’t realize until half way through the last round that all 3 tribes were at the combined tribal. I thought there were 10 of us and that it could be a split vote. True flop? Yes. Maybe I’ll decide to get it together.

After a really crazy tribal council, we swapped and to be honest I don’t feel as bad about this as I probably should. I feel like during the joint tribal I bonded well enough with Chloe, Thomas and Taylor where I think that if we go to a tribal I have enough bonds started that will keep me safe at least for another round and on top of that we also got Cullen on our tribe which is honestly the best case scenario because that could honestly be a free round!

Trust Rankings (Early AF) 1. Chloe 2. Thomas 3. Taylor 4. Randy Who’s Cullen?

Well I knew I was going to be talking about the swap eventually. Cullan just got evacuated which is sad and I hope he is doing okay. I'm glad I swapped with Chloe and I feel Adam and Taylor are staring to see me and Chloe as a duo, which can be either good or bad. Randy I need to talk to more. Taylor and Adam both said they would be a number to me and Chloe if we need them, but I hope to hold that off for a little while.I just want to win this next challenge and avoid tribal :)

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DOES THOMAS THINK HE IS DOING RIGHT NOW?   Taylor has messaged me saying last night they spoke to Thomas about maybe us 3 working together and that Taylor thought maybe Thomas should message me first about it. But here I am with Taylor messaging me about it and no word at all from Thomas. I've given Thomas a chance to bring it up, I've been sat talking to him about how he's now finished school so he has more time to play orgs. This could so easily lead into a conversation about how Taylor messaged him. But instead he's just said "Im gonna go get a slurpee" well while you're out go find someone else to work with you because you're gonna need all the help you can get because I'm fucking coming for your bitchass now and I'm not gonna stop until it's red raw from taking all these hits from me.

New Tribe New Tribulations. I stayed with Elmo which is good, and I have been chatting up the rest of the tribe. Jared seems nice and I've floated the idea of working with him at a potential tribal. I've talked less with Lily, but she seems nice. People I've talked the least with are Ian and Joey. Joey never responded to my messages, and Ian I just don't talk to lol. I'm pretty confident ian would stick with me and elmo and I think we could successfully target Joey, especially if we hold the milo 3 over their heads and threatened rocks.

So, my premonition was most indeed correct. We ended up swapping from 4 tribes to 3 tribes. Not that that’s a totally bad thing. I mean, looking at OG tribes on Haumea 2.0, I’m in a 3-2-1 majority. And we had a music video challenge. My tribe lip synced to I Write Sins Not Tragedies. The question is, will we be pouring the champagne in victory? Or will the goddamn door be closed on one of us at tribal council?

whew. sorry i haven’t made a confessional yet i’ve been busy. but now i feel like i’m gonna leave out important info so let’s hope i don’t. we swapped tribes and that was... a bummer. i had my 3 person alliance over on my other tribe and i had elmo! i miss elmo so much and just hope we meet again soon. i don’t really loooove my new tribe.. i like justin of course and i think i’ve been hitting it off with johnny. and strayed talking to anbel a bit. tried to talk to bodhi and asya but nothing really clicked. here’s something interesting.. justin told me he went idol searching and he looked where i looked round one and where i found the idol. he told me that a power was there but it’s now gone and he told me that johnny told him he looked there but said he just drowned in the vortex and didn’t say anything about a power being there. so i think johnny just messed up his words but now justin thinks johnny has a power and i’m just letting him think that and throwing scenarios out there and i can let johnny take the blame hehe. i also went idol aka advantage searching somewhere and i got somewhere asking if i’d be willing to give up 2 votes. i thought about how during the joint tribal a vote was missing so i assumed whatever power is there, somebody has it. so i said nope bye i want my votes! i told justin about this so i can kinda pin asya having this power since she was at the joint tribal and she’s on my tribe now so it could be a good excuse to vote her off if we ever go to tribal and i can be safe another round.

so now justin thinks johnny has the idol or some kind of power even though it’s really me who has it. and thinks asya has whatever power she got for giving up 2 votes. idek if asya is the one who got that power but i needed someone to pin it out so we have an excuse to vote her out and i can stay safe.

i also wanna apologize for whatever spelling mistakes i make and if i literally don’t make any sense at all. it’s so hard to type up exactly what i’m feeling and put it into words kdkdkdkd.

Trust List:

1. Joey 2. Anabel 3. Elmo 4. Ben 5. Bodhi 6. Lily 7. Randy 8. Ian

so we swapped which is great! the initial numbers are 3-2-1 and im in the 3 so that's great! however ian isnt the most socially active player so i think he could easily be the target of the 2 and the 1 and i dont think either ben or myself would want to pull a rock for him right now

i think i will hint him to get close to like lily or someone so in case we ended up losing a challenge she'd want to target joey instead of him. thats the goal. i dont want to lose ian bc basically if lily sides with joey in that situation, jared will be the decider and while i do trust jared, i think it gives him too much power yanno and it might be enticing for him to stick to his OG tribe ally rather than two ppl he met at the swap

im not sure how that will go but i hope well hehe! ALSO I FOUND AN IDOL, ZACK'S INFORMATION PULLED THROUGH!!! i havent told anyone yet, in fact host made a mistake in the beginnin sayin that it was already found and then said like 1h later, oh u actually have an idol and that got me SHOOK TO MY CORE! the awk thing is that i told ben already that i didnt find it so hdiasfahsdif! i just hope that when / if i tell him, he wont be too upset with me bc i right now i consider us p close!

It’s hot as hell where I am right now. Better to be sweating over the heat than sweating over tribal, I guess.

I got tribe swapped fucked and im annoyed.

So i got put on a tribe full of STINKY stinky players. And the challenge is a lipsync so im like "submit the lipsyncs ASAP" and theyre practically more than useless and do nothing. So we submitted practically nothing because theyre so fucking bad at time management. And now we're at tribal.

Nobody talking to me about the vote, so I'm going home. I'll try and pull a stunt but idk. Wish me luck

Milu 2.0...hmmm... Where do I begin? 🤔 So my feelings on the tribe are mixed. Adam, Tom and Chloe were all part of the previous joint tribal so I had already had conversations with all of them. It made it easier to socialize when the swap actually did happen. Tom seems like a cool cat, and I had approached him with the idea of him, Chloe and I grouping up. Chloe seemed more than okay with it, but Tom never talked to Chloe about it like he said he would. That raised some red flags for me and Chloe. Adam and Randy I didn't feel as comfortable to begin with, but in the past day or two Adam has really came around and proposed we work together. Thus CAT was born. It's maybe not something long term but I think I could have great allies in Chloe and Adam individually. Tonight's vote is probably the most uncomfortable yet. Nothing feels solid, everything feels very much in the air, even if I have a majority alliance. This game is a rollercoaster and tonight I'm teetering on the edge and I have that sinking feeling in my gut. All I can do is put blind faith in my people and hope for the best.

Milu 2.0...hmmm... Where do I begin? 🤔 So my feelings on the tribe are mixed. Adam, Tom and Chloe were all part of the previous joint tribal so I had already had conversations with all of them. It made it easier to socialize when the swap actually did happen. Tom seems like a cool cat, and I had approached him with the idea of him, Chloe and I grouping up. Chloe seemed more than okay with it, but Tom never talked to Chloe about it like he said he would. That raised some red flags for me and Chloe. Adam and Randy I didn't feel as comfortable to begin with, but in the past day or two Adam has really came around and proposed we work together. Thus CAT was born. It's maybe not something long term but I think I could have great allies in Chloe and Adam individually. Tonight's vote is probably the most uncomfortable yet. Nothing feels solid, everything feels very much in the air, even if I have a majority alliance. This game is a rollercoaster and tonight I'm teetering on the edge and I have that sinking feeling in my gut. All I can do is put blind faith in my people and hope for the best.

This confessional is for the Third cycle where the end result was 4-1 (Randy, Tom) Loosing this challenge as honestly a rally hard pill to swallow I was absolutely pissed if we’re being honest, pissed at the fact that the final product was my video that as supposed to get snipped and trimmed because I didn’t know legit anything about that song or even lii syncing. I think me competing and being the one that submitted helped me when it was time to vote somebody out because I was told by basically everyone that sending me home would have been a silly decision. I honestly think my only option was too got out Randy because I think I’m solid with everybody else individually where I was trying to force something with Randy. If we lose again things will honestly go from 0 to 100 real fast as I don’t think anybody knows if Tom and Chloe are actually tight or what the deal is there but that will one hunger percent come in to place. All in all very successful round for me in my opinion. I think I need to be careful not to build this huge target on my back but I’m staying focused and just plowing through

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week3/s-0kmTB

I’m doing wonderful! As far as this game is concerned, Jared and I are tighter than Ralphie May’s(RIP) pants. We know what each other is doing, and we communicate CONSTANTLY. Ian is tricky to get. He just says “Oh, okay” to everything, its as if he’s building up a wall to prevent me from having a social game, it’s highkey INFURIATING. I LOVE LILY, she’s an actual angel, and she’s a good player. I like Elmo alot, he’s definitely at a disadvantage due to his timezone. As far as everyone else, I’m getting closer to Asya as we’ve put our “beef” aside and we realized we’re friendly. Johnny and I have known each other for 3 years, he was the first person I knew in this community, he was the first person who hosted me and got me into this community, he’s going to always be like a brother to me.

________________________________________________________________

Cullan is removed from the game. Randy is voted out 4-1.

#episode #sailaway