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drewsephrry · 2 months

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memories

harry styles x reader

inspired by: Memories-Conan Gray

warnings: alcohol consumption, yelling, crying (idk if it counts as a warning) cuss words

words: 2.7k

It was a rainy autumn night. She had a random movie playing in the background just to comfort her. She hated rain with passion. She hated that she was all alone and the only thing she could do to distract herself from it was look at old pictures.

Pictures from her childhood that were much too nostalgic for her, trying really hard to remember the name of the girl braiding her hair. Pictures from her vacation with her best friends from the previous summer, matching flower crowns and seashell necklaces on display. Pictures with her previous lover, that if she saw just two months ago she would cry her heart out but instead she smiled and reminisced about the tattoo he had let her draw on his skin shown in the photo.

It was a random Thursday night, the couple was chilling with their friends when Zayn told them that he had just acquired a tattoo gun. Harry was thrilled with the idea of putting more ink on his skin and even more so when Niall suggested that he let Y/N draw one on him.

Y/N had almost immediately shook her head in denial but Harry begged and begged until she sighed, defeated.

“Harry, you do know you're going to be stuck with it forever?” She warned.

“Yes, my love. Stop worrying about everything.” He tries to reassure her once more.

“But H, what if I mess it up? Or-or even worse we break up and you have it on your skin for the rest of your life?” She started asking with shakily hands, stuttering and failing to breathe properly.

“Y/N, honey, breathe. You'll be fine. Okay and what if you mess it up? That would just make it even more special to me. I love you and I completely trust you.” He puts his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down. “I'm not planning on breaking up with you anytime soon, maybe even ever. Unless you do and you're trying to let me down slowly, I don't see anything wrong with you tatting me.” He reassures her once again and she sighs, nodding. Harry smiles widely and pecks her lips, before pulling his long hair up in a bun.

After sterilizing the equipment and Zayn showing her how the gun works, she was ready. She didn't feel like it, but Harry squeezed her hand three times, their way of expressing their love to each other without actually saying anything.

She asked him multiple times, as the tattoo gun hit his skin if he was in any pain and if he needed anything, but Harry told her repeatedly he was fine and was praising her for her light touch.

After just a few minutes, the sketch, she had done on a random notebook Zayn had in his apartment, was brought to life.

A palm tree on the backside on his upper arm was delicately outlined and filled by her. She grabbed the handheld mirror that Zayn gave her and held it so Harry could see the work she did.

“Do you like it? If you don't, we can find something to cover it up with and I'll pay for it.” She suggested immediately, worried because he hadn't spoken yet. But the truth was he was mesmerized by it.

“I love it. It's so simple but yet done so beautifully. Thank you, my love. Thank you so so much.” He said kissing her lips. She smiled and sighed once again.

“Thank you for trusting me with this.”

“Well, you know what they say. Tat for tit!” He exclaimed jokingly, trying to lift her shirt when Y/N pushed his hand away giggling.

“You're such an idiot!”

Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. She stopped gazing at her phone and another knock was heard. She got up from her couch cautiously. It was really late and it was pouring outside. Who could it be?

She grabbed the pepper spray from her handbag, as another knock was heard. She clutched her phone, close to her chest, ready to call the police.

She looked through the peephole and saw the one person she didn't expect to.

Harry was standing there, his hair sticking on his forehead and his clothes soaked.

She quickly unlocked the door and gasped.

“Harry, what are you doing here?” She asked, worried and confused.

“Need to talk with you, angel.” He slurred, an obvious sign he was drunk. He was pouting and his glossy, his green eyes were bloodshot telling her he was crying. His cologne was overcome by the smell of tequila. Y/N couldn't do anything else than open the door wider and gestured for him to come in.

She closed the door behind her and walked to her kitchen to pour some water for him, in hopes that he would sober up a little. He followed her like a wet and lost puppy that she couldn't turn away.

He takes a gulp of the water she hands him and smiles at her. She looked so cute and tiny compared to him, her hair was a little longer and her skin was still tanned from summer.

“I love you so much Y/N/N. I never wanted to hurt you.” He slurred again.

“But you did, H.” She couldn't tolerate standing there and listening to him pour his heart out when he broke her own a few months ago.

Y/N had started getting better. Getting over him. She was considering starting dating again. But seeing him like this made it so hard for her to think. Think about how fucked what he did and said was.

“Please, my baby, my love, listen to me. I made a huge mistake.” He was pulling his hair and trying to balance on his own two feet. He stumbled and fell to the floor, Y/N immediately reaching for him to make sure he was alright.

“I have missed you. I can't sleep without you. I barely eat anymore. I-I…don’t know what to do without you.” He confessed, tearing up. He pulled his knees up to his chest as he sat with his back on one of the kitchen cabinets.

Y/N was nodding, feeling upset and guilty she made him feel like this.

“H-Harry…I don't know what to say. Please, don't cry. You can stay with me tonight. We'll be fine.” She bent down to be eye level with him, comforting him and hugging him tightly. Neither one of them could deny how safe they felt in that moment, in each other's arms.

Y/N knew she was making a huge mistake, something her therapist won't be able to help with, something her friends cannot support and mostly she cannot expect any one of them to be there to pick up her pieces when everything would break down again.

Harry was led to her bedroom and she helped him lay down, removing his articles of clothing that he claimed felt like lava on his skin.

“Why were you all alone? Don't you still hate the rain?” He asked, getting under the covers of her bed, his eyes slightly closed. Y/N nodded and walked towards her side of the bed.

Y/N laid beside him, wrapping her arms around his back and to his front. He squeezed them three times, before quiet snores were the only thing heard.

How could she say goodbye to him again, when he just spent an entire night with her?

That morning Y/N woke up to an empty bed. She walked out to her living room, to see that she was all alone.

He had left her.

She walked to the kitchen with an ache in her chest and saw a plate with a stack of pancakes with maple syrup on her kitchen counter for her to indulge in.

She ended up spending her whole day crying and watching ‘The notebook’.

The next day, when Y/N's therapy appointment was scheduled, she told her about the night she spent with Harry, how she felt safe and for once, after a few months, slept like a baby and through the whole night.

Her therapist scolded her about her poor choices and talked to her about stepping forward.

A few days passed since Y/N's and Harry's last encounter. Y/N was getting ready for her best friend's birthday party when a knock was heard on her door. She yelled that she'll be right there, thinking it was the delivery guy with her food.

She grabbed her wallet and ran to the door with a wide smile on her face. Although when she opened the door, it was wiped away quickly. She swallowed and looked at Harry's green eyes.

“I missed holding you.” He slurred. Y/N was already running late to help her best friend with the party preparations. She was planning on getting there first out of everyone, to blow balloons and hang the garlands she had bought. But her meal hadn't arrived in time and now, this was happening.

She opened the door wide and he entered, he walked and sat down on her couch with a thump. He giggled at the sound he made and got quickly distracted by the show on her TV.

Y/N groaned and tried to keep in her mind what her therapist, mom and best friend told her.

“It's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning, over and over again.”

“Hey, come look at this! Monica got stung by a jellyfish!” He giggled, getting comfortable on her couch.

She cursed under her breath, thinking how he would fuck up her progress in getting over him. Now twice. She grabbed her phone from the coffee table and walked in her bedroom to call her best friend.

“I'm really sorry, but I won't make it tonight.” She lied.

“What? Y/N, it's my birthday! You can't miss it.” Her best friend had furrowed her eyebrows, even if Y/N couldn't see it.

“I love you so much, I'll explain everything another time. And I am really and truly sorry.” She apologized again.

“Don't tell me he's there again.” Her best friend groaned and Y/N sighed.

“Y/N/N, he's no good for you. He's going to hurt you again. He's going to keep coming back since you're not turning him away. This is a never ending cycle, babe. Think about all the trauma he put you through. You need to put him in the past and move on.”

Y/N sighed defeated. Her best friend was right.

“Again, I'm really sorry.” She apologized one last time, before hanging up the phone. She walked back to the living room, where he was laying on the couch watching as Ross yelled ‘We were on a break!’. Harry chuckles at that and looks up to find you standing a few feet away from him.

“Care to join me, my beautiful girl?” he asked, making space for her and she smiled sadly as she nodded.

“Let me take my heels off really quick and I'll be right there.” She assured him, going inside her bedroom again, untying the straps from her heels and sitting down on her bed to catch her breath. She felt like throwing up. She felt her chest heating and that she was unable to breathe.

One, two.

In, out.

She was calm again.

The doorbell was heard, so she got up and out of her bedroom to find Harry already at the door.

“Stay the fuck away from her!” His slurred British accent alarming you. You ran quickly at the door and pushed Harry away from it.

“I'm really sorry about him, he's not feeling well. Thank you for your service!” Y/N tipped the now scared delivery guy, grabbing the bag of food from his hand and closing the door quickly. She pressed her back on it and sighed loudly.

“Don't be upset with me. He just wanted to get in your pants. I was trying to protect you. I always will.” Harry's eyes filled with tears once again. A laugh track was heard and she sighed again.

“It's okay, H. I'm fine. We're fine. Let's go eat!” She grabbed his hand and he smiled, wiping his eyes.

They spent the rest of the night cuddling on her couch.

The next day, he was gone again. She opened her phone to see multiple texts and calls from her best friend, telling her not to worry and that she would forgive her for bailing on her.

Y/N ignored all of them, including her therapist's email to confirm their weekly appointment. She knew that she would be disappointed to hear that she's taking more and more steps back.

A week later, she still hadn't heard a word from Harry and she waited for his appearance on her doorstep.

And there he was, a loud knock on the door startling her from the cookies she decided to bake as a stress reliever.

She ran to the door and opened it to find him there. He looked a little bit better than the last times he visited her, although he still reeked of tequila.

“Hello, my love.” He said, approaching her to kiss her lips. But she pulled away and shook her head. She opened the door wider for him to enter. He did and walked to the couch, sitting down and removing his shoes, already getting comfortable. Y/N couldn't take it anymore.

“We need to talk. I don't care if you're sober or drunk as fuck, but this has got to stop.” She said upset.

“What's bothering you baby? I can kiss it better.” He giggled and made grabby hands at her.

“Harry, I am serious. You can't keep doing this. There's no good reason to believe that we could ever exist again. I cannot be your friend. I definitely cannot be your lover. And I cannot be the reason we hold back each other from actually falling in love with someone else.” Y/N felt lighter after telling him exactly how she felt.

Harry felt a lump growing on his throat, his eyeline was gathering tears and he felt his chest tightening. Suddenly his head was clearer and he wasn't under the influence of alcohol completely.

“I just…you can't keep showing up, especially drunk, ruining everything. Expecting me that I would just take you back. You fucking traumatized me Harry. You broke my heart. And I'm trying so hard to forget you, to put you in the past and you're not letting me do that. You're just too busy playing the victim and acting like you are the one who's hurt, like you're the one that has a specialist taking care of you and your feelings. Can you just for once listen to me and stay the fuck away from me? Just…stay in my memories.”

She felt tears rolling down her cheeks, she didn't even notice she was crying. Harry looked down on the floor, sniffling. Y/N wiped her tears and sat down beside him.

“Since you came all the way over here, I'll let you stay. You can stay as long as it takes, but this is the last time. When you're going to leave, you're taking all of your books that you have left, your coat that’s still in my closet and that good cologne that you have left in my bathroom and it haunts me. It's still on my clothes and pretty much everything that I own and it makes me…feel like dying. I mean, I'm barely surviving as it is.”

Harry was feeling like his heart was being stabbed over and over again. He hadn't realized how much damage he had done to Y/N. He didn't want her to feel that way anymore.

He got off from her couch and walked to her bedroom grabbing his coat, the cologne from the bathroom and gathered the books from her bookcase, putting them inside a tote bag, which was also his.

“I'm not gonna bother you anymore. I-I am really sorry for the damage I did. I never meant to hurt you. I love you way too much and…I know what I'm saying is not gonna change anything but I needed to get it off my chest. I wish you only the best, my lo-Y/N. And I'll always be there for you, if you ever need me. But I'll just stay in your memories.”

He kissed her lips once. Twice. Three times.

When he pulled away both of them had tears rolling down their cheeks, their eyes were red and their lips swollen from the kisses they shared.

“I guess this is goodbye.” Harry whispers. “For now.” He smiled and Y/N nodded.

“Goodbye H. Take care.”

A/N: just a lil valentines day gift lol, this was heartwrenching to write, hope you all enjoyed and cried with me

#harry styles #one direction #harry styles story #harry styles fic #harry edward styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles au #harry styles imagine

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carionto · 8 months

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Alone with ourselves

(elaborating on the last sentence from here)

When we slipped away, or Vanished as the rest of the galaxy called it, most of Humanity didn't know what we were in for. Very few people knew of exactly what the plan was, most were told some BS about kicking the aliens' dumb "barrier" out, creating a force field, teleporting them away, whatever was most convincing to whoever happened to be in charge in each country and union.

Of course, one of the better ways to keep what we were actually doing was letting the truth spread among the lies, because really? Interdimensional travel? Most of the scientists working on actually making it happen didn't believe their own numbers and successful test results, but it worked.

Chaos.

What happens in places where a lot truly believe in a Hell, or Afterlife, or whatever else, and then the stars, the Moon, and the Sun just... disappear.

Utter, bloody, indescribable madness is what happens. And when the sky is still blue, you still feel the rays of sun hitting your skin, and the glow of moonlight still shines your way at night, well, that kind of lack of sense is enough to turn a lot of sensible people to the scriptures.

Truth don't matter at such a time. In fact, the truth tells everyone we lied to everyone.

We were hoping to get Humanity sorted and ready to take the stage against the aliens, maybe alongside if they would acknowledge as and show some respect, in just over a century.

It took that long to restore some degree of a civilization that can actually do real science. We overestimated ourselves, but we got back on track and then some.

Now, we could finally start to understand what it meant, in practical terms, to isolate Earth from the rest of the Universe. True nothingness beyond what we brought with us. We always pondered whether we were alone in the Universe, hoping we weren't, dreading we were.

Now there was nothing but us, nowhere to point our wandering gaze, no destination to set, no unknowns to discover. All we could do was look at each other, and we all know how that tends to go. Suffice to say, that 12.3 billion we slipped back in with should've been thrice that, but we can't help ourselves.

In a way, I guess that's good. Our nature meant we always had someone to one-up, and even when most of us managed to be buddy-buddy for a while, our imagination of what awaited us back kept things... well, progress demands sacrifice.

On one hand, learning how to make miniature suns, but not how to turn one off properly, did solve that whole rising sea levels problem. On the other, creating a 200km crater in the Pacific Ocean made for some... interesting weather.

However, all that now very exposed and partly-processed ore from the mantle made for some very good space ship building material. Just had to survive a few hundred super volcanoes and, you know, everyone suddenly being an environmentalist. Plus another collapse of civilization, but we went over that already.

To cut it short, Humanity always perseveres. We're like cockroaches, except with guns and opinions.

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humanity fuck yeah #carionto #story

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inkykeiji · 7 months

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character: bonten!mikey x fem!reader notes: a day or two ago teddy and i were daydreaming about sucking on our Daddies’ fingers and i genuinely haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since!!!! warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, daddy kink, hair pulling, oral fixation (finger sucking), somnophilia + minimal prep, mention of drugs words: 1.3k

If he’s being truthful, Mikey doesn’t really mind when you suck on his fingers—kind of likes it, actually; likes feeling useful, likes the way your tongue pulses and jumps just a bit as you draw him in a little further, suck around him a little harder, likes to pacify you—provided that it’s feasible.

You know when to ask, know that if Daddy’s busy cleaning his guns or cutting his drugs that he needs both hands, that his pretty girl can’t be greedy, now, just because she needs something to suck on. No, on those days you can usually be patient enough, can usually wait until Daddy’s finished with whatever important business he has to take care of. But sometimes, if you’re really needy, and you’ve been extra good, you might get lucky—he might let you stick his cock down your throat, let it sit all heavy and hard on your tongue as you kneel sloppily between his spread thighs, chin on the edge of his chair, hands planted between your folded knees and palms pressed flat to the floor, all conscious and intentional, since Daddy has a rule against touching during times like these, claims it distracts him, and we can’t have that, now, can we, sweetheart?

No, Daddy. Of course not, Daddy.

Daddy has a rule against sucking at times like these as well—this isn’t about getting him off or making him feel good, after all, he had told you. This is just about giving his whiny little baby something to fill her mouth with, something to fill her mouth up, to keep her occupied and quiet while Daddy works. If he feels your tongue start to curl around his shaft, if he feels your lips begin to pucker and your cheeks begin to hollow, he’ll be yanking you off his cock in one harsh, swift motion, with his knuckles rooted at your scalp and a growled curse spit through his teeth—and then you’ll be in real trouble, and you definitely don’t want that!

But it’s when Daddy’s sifting through boring paperwork and poring over mind-numbing files and notes—full of gruesome photographs and disturbing details—that the perfect opportunity arises to lend you his hand, to let you wrap both palms around his slim wrist and take his fingers into your mouth.

He knows that’s exactly what you want when you curl up next to him on his plush office couch, gazing at him with glittering eyes and your bottom lip siphoned between your teeth, but he won’t give it to you; not until you say it, of course, not until you explicitly ask for it—because good girls ask for what they want, don't they?—keen stare veiled by feathery lashes and voice trembling with a desperate sort of humiliation.

But he’s sweet as syrup when he nods and allows you to suck two of his fingers into your eager, waiting mouth, silky praises falling from between smirking lips. Because you’re so good for him, swallow so well for him, take his index and ring finger all the way in for him, right to the third knuckle, the edges of your teeth gently scraping the sharp protruding bones.

The metal of his rings clacks against the back of your teeth, platinum and white gold warming in the heat of your mouth as your tongue coils and curves around the bony digits, laves over the bumps and ridges of each knuckle and joint. Foamy saliva pools in all of the dips and crevices of the jewellery, coats the surfaces all slick and slimy and leaves the gems encrusted in the metal gleaming.

The underside of the rings feel smooth on your tongue, tip tracing around the arc of each one, slow and studious, almost as if committing them to memory. The metal has a slight tang to it, smearing the zest of sweat across your tastebuds, bitter and salty with a hint of the rusted blood still caked beneath his nails and lining his cuticles.

The pads of his fingers stroke your tongue in slow, rhythmic motions, petting the slippery little muscle in a tender caress—mindless, soothing, habitual—as tired onyx eyes skim the pages crumpled in his free hand. Delicate fingers hook around the bangles encircling his wrist and tug, begging for more and whimpering nonsensically around his flesh—more, Daddy, more, more, gimme more, pretty please.

And he does, of course, his sweet, greedy little girl, permits you to draw him further down your throat, copious amounts of drool oozing from the corners of your mouth as your lips tighten and your tongue squeezes—so much so that it’s trickling down your chin and dripping off your jaw in heavy, viscous cords, drizzling all over your chest and clavicle.

It leaves behind the prettiest streaks of shimmering spit, and Mikey can’t help but press down on the back of your tongue, enraptured as another tiny torrent of saliva seeps past his fingers to spill down his hand and collect in the lines of his palms.

The action earns him a pitchy yelp, sound vibrating around the tips of his fingers, and he snorts a little, fingers rubbing your tongue in a crude sort of apology.

Sorry, baby, sorry, he’s murmuring in response, though that smug, sadistic little smirk toying with the corners of his lips tells you that he’s not sorry at all.

His fingertips are pruned by the time he’s finished shuffling through his documents, soaked and soggy with your saliva. Your mouth’s finally gone slack, a telltale indicator that you’ve fallen asleep, dribbles of drool rolling down the side of his hand and his wrist as you breathe, calm and even and soft, around the digits lodged down your throat.

Your teeth have left cute little indents in his knuckles and the underside of his fingers, but he doesn’t mind, running the tip of his own tongue over the jagged little craters carved into his skin and humming softly to himself.

It always has his cock twitching in his trousers, straining against the thin material, and on the nights where he really needs it—when the day has been abundantly challenging, excruciatingly exhausting, full of collecting debts and deaths—he’ll rearrange your pliant body, push your head down and hips up and panties aside and use his already sopping hand to wet you just enough to comfortably take his cock, burying himself to the fucking hilt in one swift, sharp thrust and revelling in the gorgeous little gasp of surprise that claws its way past your sleepy lips.

Stay sleeping, sweetheart, he always tells you, murmured into the skin behind your ear and punctuated with a chaste kiss. Just let Daddy take what he needs.

And so you do, every single time, ever his good girl, his best girl, nodding into the corduroy couch cushions and mumbling out some garbled sentiment of affirmation.

It’s never graceful, always shameful, lacking his usual skill and subtlety as he pathetically ruts into your sweet cunt, flush hips grinding into your thighs gone sticky and slippery with desperation, humping away unevenly at you until his cock is pulsing viciously and he’s breathing out a curse against the damp nape of your neck, filling you with thick cream.

He always takes a moment to admire you after, too; to admire the mess he’s made of you, the masterpiece he’s made of you, calloused thumbs spreading your fucked-raw lips and watching as his cum cascades out of you slow and sticky, using the hardened pad to smear it across your cunt—glazing your clit and your slit and your inner thighs; painting you in him, pressing into the splotches of navy and grey those sharp hipbones carved into soft flesh—before he hoists you up, collects your boneless body in a heap in his arms and decides it’s time for bed, finally, for the both of you.

#mikey x reader #mikey smut #bonten mikey smut #bonten mikey x reader #bonten mikey x you #sano manjiro x reader #sano manjiro smut #mikey sano x reader #mikey sano smut #mikey x you #tw:daddy kink #tw:drugs #tw:somnophilia #inky.mikey #inky.tr

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familyvideostevie · 6 months

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october thirty-first

day thirty-one: steve harrington last halloween didn’t end that well for you and steve. but this year? much better. | a no good at waiting one-shot, fluff, smut, mdni, 18+ | 2.4k detailed content warnings: fem!reader, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie, thigh riding, riding, dirty talk, some aftercare-ish

“We're doing it this year, Steve.”

Your boyfriend looks unamused from behind his aviators. The sun set hours ago but he won't take them off because it “compromises his costume.”

“Jesus,” he mutters. “For real? You actually want to?” You both know Steve isn't great at saying no to you, even when it comes to going on the haunted hay ride at this year's Sara's Farm Halloween Festival. Steve only had to work the first few hours and make sure no one sustained bodily injury during the pumpkin carving contest, so now you're walking around, taking in all the fun.

You're pressed close to him — it's cold, no surprise for Indiana — and wish you had another layer on. Steve convinced you to dress in vaguely Top Gun themed clothes to honor the movie he's been obsessed with since you saw it in theaters. He's in a patched aviator jacket, jeans that hug his ass sinfully, and the stupid glasses. You've tried to look like Tom Cruise's savvy analyst girlfriend by putting on a leather jacket and red lipstick.

“We're grown ups,” you say, bumping his shoulder with yours as you approach the line for the hay ride. “We can handle it.” Robin and Eddie are working the route again and this year you're pretty sure some of the high school kids are, too. They all begged you to get Steve on it and what's love if not taking a chance every now and then to pull a fast one on your partner?

“Speak for yourself,” he mutters but allows you to tug him on to the wagon. He places his hand on your thigh automatically and does his best to look unamused but flinches when the whole thing surges forward and into the dark rows of apple trees. “I can't believe I'm doing this.”

Neither of you handle it well, truth be told. There are only a few other people on the bales in the wagon bed and you and Steve for sure scream the loudest. Your friends catch on to your presence quickly and clearly make it worse for you both, jumping out of the trees and reaching as if you pull you both to the ground. But it's fun. It's fun in the way most things that give you an adrenaline rush are — you scream and laugh in the same breath, pressing closer and closer to Steve until you're practically in his lap as the wagon rounds the final corner.

That's when you feel him hard through his pants.

“Really?” you ask. “Keep your hands to yourself, Harrington.” He scowls and tightens his grip on your hips so you don't fall when the wagon jostles side to side.

“I can't help it, honey.” You wriggle a little more and his fingertips press harder into your skin. “Stay still.”

You do not stay still. It's just too much fun to mess with him like this — something you do often in your new house. Teasing him from room to room and reveling in the thrill that he wants you. Steve always wants you.

The feeling is mutual.

When the ride finally ends you mean to tell Steve that Eddie and Robin are going to meet you so you can all hang out, but you don't get the chance. Your feet barely touch the ground after stepping off the wagon when he grabs your hand and drags you through the crowds.

“Steve,” you say incredulously. “Steve, what are you doing?” You try to keep up with his long strides so he'll hear you.

He doesn't stop until you slip around the apple bobbing and against the wall of the farm store. He crowds you against the wall, suddenly in your space, face close enough that you can count his eyelashes. His pupils are blown and his cheeks are even more flushed than they were on the hay ride.

“If you think I'm going to stand around about to cream my pants, you're insane.”

You swallow and feel his words between your legs. “Oh,” you breathe. “Okay.”

He tugs on your hand again and you're off, snaking behind the store and further into the grounds. It only takes a few more moments before you realize that he's leading you to his old loft. You laugh into the night air and Steve looks back with a boyish grin, the intensity of his gaze somewhat faded back into the comfort and ease of your relationship.

Though he doesn't live here anymore you know that Hopper hasn't gotten around to renting it out yet and Steve still has a key. “Don't trip,” he teases as he tugs you up the spiral stairs. He takes a few seconds to dig out his keys and get the right one in the lock. You want to touch him so badly you entertain jumping him on the landing but he gets the door open quickly and you stumble inside.

“Thank Christ that worked,” he mutters. The loft is empty of the things that make it Steve but the furniture is still there, including a made bed, which feels like a miracle.

“I'd fuck you in the barn,” you say. Steve wiggles his eyebrows and once again crowds you back against the door.

“Oh, yeah?” he mutters. He shoves a thigh between yours and gently tugs your head to the side so he can trail his lips up your neck. You feel his cock, somehow harder than before, and wiggle for friction. “You still know how to surprise me, bee girl.”

“Steve,” you gasp. “Don't tease.” He could quip about your actions on the hay ride, could drag it out and make you a whimpering mess here against the door by barely touching you, but he doesn't. Steve always wants you just as bad as you want him. He presses his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, cradling the back of your head as he presses you into the door.

It is not lost on you, even through your lustful haze, that this time last year you were doing the same thing. A night that changed everything, that almost broke everything had it not worked out in the end. It makes you more desperate, makes you slide your hands under his shirt to feel his skin, makes you grind harder on his thigh and swallow his moans. You almost gave this up. You almost ruined it.

Steve licks into your mouth and your tongues meet, desperate and messy and then he palms your breast, thumb swiping at your nipple and you keen.

“Bed,” you manage to say. “Bed, Steve.”

He sucks a spot on your neck for a moment more before releasing you. His hair is a mess, lips spit-slick and swollen and the way he looks at you makes your knees weak. “Come on,” he says softly. He sheds his costume as he goes, jacket and shirt and sunglasses tossed on the floor. You follow his example as he closes the curtains and shucks off his jeans.

“Are these sheets clean?” you ask, tossing your bra aside. Steve looks his fill and you let him.

“Hope so.” His eyes meet yours and for a second you're sure he's remembering last year, too. How tender it was, how he fucked you sweet and slow, how you left him.

Things get a little desperate after that.

You shed the remainder of your clothes and he sits against the headboard. You admire him like that, cock hard and already leaking, chest rising and falling as he pants though you've barely done more than kiss. You can feel how wet you are, feel the tightness in your belly just by looking at him.

“Baby,” he groans. “C'mere, please.” You crawl up the bed to him and straddle his thigh. He presses his fingers into your skin, eyes wide as you start to grind on him. You move your hips back and forth until you find a rhythm that catches your clit in a way that makes you gasp.

“Oh, god,” Steve moans. “Look at you, huh? Getting my thigh all messy, fuck.” You lean forward so he can press his face to your chest and tongue at your nipples.

Steve keeps up his filthy babble. “Barely touched you and you're so wet,” he says. “Feels good? Getting all worked up?” He pants your name over and over. “Look so pretty like this, baby, riding my thigh.”

“Wanna ride you,” you manage to say. He bounces his leg a bit and you whine. You reach down and fist his cock clumsily.

Instead of replying Steve shifts you over and lines himself up with your entrance. “You gonna be okay?” Your eyes lock. He means with the stretch, with the position. With fucking him bare. You and Steve have been doing that for a while now and you know he loves it, how he can feel every inch of you and fill you up without worry. You like it, too.

“Steve.”

“Okay, okay,” he laughs. You sink down on him and both grown in unison. The stretch comes without any pain, feels like you and Steve were made for each other, as it always does. “Holy shit,” he says, panting into your neck. “Never gonna get over this. How tight you are, how you have a perfect cunt—”

You cut him off by starting to move, a slow circle of your hips that has him choking on his words, his babble dissolving into your name and nothing else. You can feel his mushroom tip brushing the spot inside you that will have this over all too quickly, the vein along the underside of his cock that drags as you start to lift your hips. Steve does his best to help, hands firm on your thighs and meeting your movements with little thrusts of his own as he trails his lips along your chest, your clavicle, your neck.

“So beautiful,” he mutters. “So fucking good, you feel so fucking good —”

The hook in your belly pulls tighter and tighter but it's not where you need it to be. Your thighs are burning and you feel hot all over and you can hear how wet you are, hear the smack of your skin as you ride him. But it's not enough.

“I need — Steve —”

You reach down to give your clit some attention but Steve beats you to it, thumb roughly circling as you both start to move more frantically.

“I'm close,” he hisses. “I'm close, where do you want —”

“Inside,” you gasp. “Inside, please, Steve —”

He makes a noise that has your orgasm teetering on the edge, punched out and desperate. “Fuck, baby,” he says. You cling to him desperately as he shifts you, changes the position so you're on your back, legs around his hips. He fucks you hard, skin smacking, the filthy sound of your slick drowned out only be Steve's litany of your name as the hook pulls tighter and tighter.

“Let me fill you up,” he says. “Look so pretty with me dripping out of you, making a mess —”

You careen over the edge, fisting the sheets with one hand and dragging your nails down Steve's back with the other. Your eyes shut as you writhe, the waves of your climax rolling over you. You spasm around him, clenching over and over and his hips stutter and you feel him come inside you, the hot warmth coating your walls.

Your breath comes back to you as Steve flops down, still inside you, weight heavy on top of your spent body in the way he knows you like. His hand lazily trails up and down your side.

“Fuck,” he says. You laugh. The post-sex sensations set in, the gentle throb of your cunt where he's still inside you, the wetness of your inner thighs and the soreness of your muscles.

He shifts and you feel how full you are. “Made a mess,” you mutter. He presses a kiss to your temple.

“You made a mess,” he counters. “I mean, the thigh stuff?”

“Steve!” You feel shy all of a sudden.

“It was hot.” He squeezes your hip. “Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?”

He pulls out of you and the soreness stings for just a second. You feel him dripping out of you and feel hot all over again. Steve gets off the bed and heads for the bathroom. You watch him walk there, his cock shiny with you as it softens, the muscles of his legs and his back on display in the dim loft. The scars from various farming chores that you've traced hundreds of times, the skin you know every inch of. You love him. He's yours.

Steve returns from the bathroom and you try not to be self conscious about how you sit exposed on the bed. He's carrying a damp cloth.

“Spread 'em,” he says when he reaches the edge of the bed.

“Sexy,” you say, but do as he says. He snorts but gently cleans you, running the cloth along the insides of your thighs and your tender center. It's impossible not to feel a rush of affection for him as he does, this intimate act that is somewhere between sexual and not. You watch him and feel unbelievably precious in his care. He catches your eye and sees the softness, pressing his lips to your naval, your knee, but saying nothing. Sometimes you just don't need words.

“Let me pee,” you tell him when he finishes. When you return he's sprawled on the bed, boxers on. You pull on your t-shirt and nothing else and crawl up next to him, settling into his side. He drags his fingers along your back. You put your palm over his chest to feel his heartbeat.

“Better Halloween than last year,” he says lightly. The memory of that night isn't as heavy in your post-sex bliss, though it's still around. You've talked about it many times since then and it's in the past but being here reminds you a bit of the fear you felt, the frightening weight of the love you have for Steve. How it shifted your entire world.

Though you know Steve isn't serious, you sit up a little to look him in the eyes.

“I'm never leaving you,” you tell him. He looks a little surprised but recovers quickly, reaching up to cup your face and pull you down.

“I know,” he says. He kisses you gently, reverently.

“I love you,” you say against his lips. He laughs.

“I know that, too,” he says. “I love you back, bee girl.”

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here! promptober masterlist, find all fics under #fvspromptober23

#fvspromptober23 #no good at waiting #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n

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mothdruid · 1 year

Text

Homemade Dynamite

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem!reader

summary: You and Bradley had a history, not a positive one. After growing up together, your relationship ended in shambles. Being called back to Top Gun is forcing you to face him again.

wc: 10.3k

warnings: 18+, smut, mdni, angst, this is mainly smangst, lots of crying, best friends javy and jake, bradley and natasha best friend dynamic, penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex, vaginal fingering, use of "i love you"

a/n: i've been working on this intermittently for about two months now. i got the idea from Lorde's song Homemade Dynamite. that song just felt tragic yet happy at the same time, so here we are. also i know it seems a little quick to forgive but that's my red flag with emotionally unavailable men, so here we are. ps. i use my own call sign for everything i write now cause it's easier on my brain

Years had passed since you were last here. Top Gun. A hatred had festered inside of you ever since you were a trainee there. Memories plagued you as you drove through the surrounding town. You never thought that you would have been called back here, especially not after getting the cushiony test pilot spot. Even though it had been years everything felt unchanged, the exact same as when you left five years ago.

That unchanged feeling brought you to the Hard Deck. The Hard Deck was a Top Gun staple, every pilot knowing of the bar. You climbed out of your car and made your way into the bar. A sense of familiarity took over you as you walked in. The Hard Deck was filled to the brim with people, a healthy mix of civilians and naval aviators. A smirk gathered on your lips when you saw a familiar face.

“I can’t believe it. Howler, is that you?”

“Hey, Penny.” You gave her a curt nod.

“Haven’t seen you in a minute.” She flashed you a smile before gesturing at the bar around her. “What can I get you?”

“Got any CiderBoys?” Penny nodded as she retrieved the bottle from the fridge under the bar. Your gaze searched around the bar, seeing a few recognizable faces. The noise of Penny removing the lid from your cider pulled your attention back to her. “Anyone still floating around here?”

“You mean, is Rooster still around here?” Your stomach dropped at the mention of his call sign. Bradley Bradshaw. He was once one of your most trusted friends. The two of you grew up together, went to naval academy together, even graduated from Top Gun at the same time. But everything had changed while at Top Gun. The cool tart taste of your cider coated your mouth as you took a swig.

“That wasn’t what I meant.” You took a few more drinks.

“I know you, Howler. You’ve spent way too many nights getting too drunk in my bar, for me not to know.” You gave her a look, one she hadn’t seen in a while. It said that you had walls now, walls that weren’t coming down anytime soon. The mom in her gave you a specific look, one that was laced with concern. “I’ve seen Hangman and that’s really been it. He is actually just over there.” Penny nodded off in a direction.

Truth be told you had never completely liked Hangman, him being the reason for your embarrassing call sign. But if Hangman was all you could get right now, you weren’t gonna complain. You quickly asked for one more cider before heading off in his direction. A pleasant feeling washed over you as you saw more familiar faces the closer you got to him. It was a classic scene you walked over to, Hangman and Coyote playing darts. The both of them were in civilian clothes, just a t-shirt and jeans.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” The Texan called out as Javy threw a dart. You held your arms out, a cider bottle in the both of them. “What are you doing back here? Last I heard you were out in Maryland.” You took a drink then flashed a smile. You turned to see Javy who was shooting you a big grin.

“I was! After coming back stateside I went to do jet testing.” A surprised yet proud look covered Jake’s face. Javy came over and gave you a small cheers before the both of you took a drink. Coyote threw his arm around you and pulled you in for a hug, one you happily obliged.

“Testing? How did you get that lined up?” You looked up at him while being tucked under his arm still. Javy had always been a good friend of yours, ever since the academy. Coyote and Fanboy had always been there for you, and on occasion Hangman. You shrugged slightly as you walked over to the table that had their beers and items on. You set your spare cider and light sweatshirt down on the table.

“Not quite sure, I guess I’m just lucky.” A thud from a dart hitting the board is what you were greeted with when you turned around. Coyote gave you a goofy look and Hangman a chuckle as he placed a toothpick between his teeth. “What?”

“Sure, Howler.” Heat bubbled up to your cheeks immediately at the mocking of your call sign. Jake’s lips curved into a shit-eating grin as he watched you. Jake would never forget that night, the night he found out there was something more going on between you and Rooster. That was also the night he found out you were loud in bed, ‘howling’ all night as Bradley fucked you.

Coyote snickered while you brushed off your slight irritation, rolling your eyes. “You realize this is why some people don’t like you?” Jake walked towards you, cockiness oozing from him.

“Doesn’t matter, I got you and Coyote here with me. That’s better than anyone else.” Hangman grabbed his bottled beer, cheering it to the both of you before taking a long drink. You and Coyote exchanged glances for a moment.

“What a sight for sore eyes.” A new but familiar voice spoke up. The three of you turned to see the old cohort. Phoenix, Fanboy, and Payback were staring at the three of you. Mickey flashed you a smile as he walked towards you, gesturing for a big hug. Even though sour memories were plaguing your mind, seeing everyone again was worth it in the long run.

“How ya been?” Fanboy asked while in the embrace.

“I’ve been well! You?” You gave a nod to Natasha as she walked past the two of you.

“Good, it’s been good.” Payback came up behind Fanboy, holding his fist out. You gave him a fist bump as the three of you started talking. Phoenix was bantering with Jake and Javy while you told Mickey and Reuben about your time up in Maryland.

“Who are you?” Hangman’s voice was loud enough to pull everyone’s attention. All of you turned around to see a man sitting near you all, munching away at a cup of peanuts. His large wired frames looked oddly familiar. You stood there for a moment racking your brain as he started to talk.

“I’m Bob.” Not a sound came from any of you. “I’m a weapon systems of-”

“A WSO, right?” You asked briefly. Bob nodded as he cleaned broken peanut shells off his lap. “I think you’re on the thing I got called back for.” Bob flashed a half smile as he ate a few more peanuts. Phoenix tilted her head as she stared at Bob.

“Bob Floyd? My new WSO?” Bob smiled again.

“Call sign?” Hangman questioned.

“Bob.” Hangman knitted his eyebrows together in a questioning manner.

“That’s it?” Bob nodded with an innocent look on his face.

“Badass on board.” It slipped out of you without a thought. Bob sent a full smile in your direction as some of the others laughed. You pushed your elbow out, knocking against Mickey who quickly stopped laughing.

“Looks more like a baby on board.” Hangman quipped as he threw a dart at the board. Phoenix rolled her eyes at Hangman’s reply.

“Always got something to say, huh?” Natasha tended to have a short fuse when it came to Jake. It was an understandable short fuse since Hangman was an ass to her all through training. Hangman winked at her before throwing another dart. You moved back to your table, watching everyone as you cracked your next cider open. You flicked your gaze to the doorway, watching as the doors opened. Your light mood immediately dropped.

Bradley Bradshaw.

The glass of your beer bottle touched your lips as you started downing the cider. Hangman and Fanboy’s eyes watched you both with concern, seeing you chug your cider. They exchanged a look between the two of them before Rooster came into view of them. Hangman flipped the toothpick in his mouth, pulling it out to speak up.

“Look who decided to join us.” The rest of the gang looked up to see the tall brunette. A loud thunk came from your now empty bottle as you set it on the table. Phoenix and Payback greeted Rooster gleefully as he approached the group. A devoid sensation settled over you, waiting for the world to slow down around you. Slow motion never came though, just a panicked feeling. Your nails subconsciously dug into your palms, creating crescent shapes.

Rooster smiled as he talked with Phoenix and Payback for a moment. He looked around to see who all was there. A curiosity prodded inside of him when he saw Hangman moving swiftly to a table. Anything that distracted Hangman from shooting an insult had to be interesting. Rooster followed the direction Hangman was walking in, his gaze landing on you. His lips pressed firmly together as he watched your still being.

An annoyed feeling pooled in him as he watched Hangman get to the table. The relationship you and Jake had always seemed to put him on edge. His eyes followed Hangman’s hand, grabbing your hand as he spoke in a hushed tone. Bradley bit at the inside of his lip as he pushed his feelings deep down inside of himself.

“Do you want me to take you home?” You looked up to see Jake’s concerned look. His hand covered yours, providing you a small sense of comfort. Bradley’s gaze became noticeable, your eyes meeting from across the short way. A conflicted look sat on his face, hazel eyes boring into your own. You pulled your hand away from Jake’s, not wanting Bradley to get the wrong idea.

“No, I’m gonna head off though. I gotta unpack some stuff anyways.” Hangman nodded before gesturing towards the door. He gave you a soft pat on the back as you headed out. Your gaze stayed straight as you walked past Bradley, his gaze landing on you for a moment. Jake watched Bradley’s gaze follow you, Bradley turning around to watch you leave.

“A picture might last.” Natasha elbowed Bradley, trying to catch his attention. Bradley’s lips tilted as he brushed her arm away. Natasha and Bradley’s eyes met, Natasha giving a concerned look to him. “Bradley, you know you shouldn’t.”

“I don’t even know if she’d let me.” Bradley said while scratching at the back of his head.

“You never know, but I wouldn’t push it.” Natasha watched as Bradley’s gaze drifted again. The both of them watching the door close behind you. Bradley felt his heart drop at her words. The damage to the relationship had already been done, and possibly could never be mended. Bradley patted Natasha’s back for a moment before heading towards the door. “Roo-” Nastasha felt a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from getting Bradley’s attention. She turned to be greeted by a slightly annoyed Jake.

The fresh air outside had never felt so refreshing. The temperature had started to drop, which helped your emotions calm down. The devoid feeling started to escape you as you made your way to your car. Your breath felt a little shaky once you approached your car. You paused for a moment, trying to recollect your thoughts and emotions. The gravel of the parking lot crunched behind you, signaling someone was near you. You rolled your eyes before turning around only to be surprised.

“Hey.” Bradley’s face looked forlorn with his husky voice. Your heartbeat picked up, adrenaline pumping through your system. Anxiety started to set in as the two of you stared at each other. Your hand drifted into your pocket, grabbing your keys out of it.

“Hey.” The single word was shaky as it left your lips. A small smile tugged at one side of Bradley's lips. You leaned back against your car, looking up at him. Bradley looked down at you with a look of fondness, thinking about all the good times you used to spend together.

The orange hue of the sunset casted over Bradley’s body while you stared at him. Fond memories flooded your brain for a moment. The one time the two of you snuck out and walked on the beach, talking about your plans after Top Gun. Quickly your brain switched gears, flipping to the memory of him leaving you alone and sobbing in the break room.

“I heard you were out in Maryland.” Bradley caught on the change in your stare, making him step next to you. He made sure to put a small amount of space between the two of you before leaning against your car.

“I heard you were in Europe.” Bradley nodded at your words. You kept your gaze low, staring at the gravel near your feet.

“I was.” An awkward silence was starting to settle. Bradley looked over at you, seeing your low gaze. He awkwardly nodded to himself. “What are you doing back?”

“I got called back. Apparently they needed the best of the best.” Bradley snickered, thinking back about how skilled of an aviator you are. “You were called back too, weren’t you?”

The question didn’t take him by surprise, but he wasn’t expecting you to ask. You brought your gaze up and looked at him. His hazel eyes were filled with that warmth you had missed. You tried keeping your face as blank as possible, but couldn’t help when you bit your lip. Bradley’s expression dropped a little, making your own drop. Bradley gave you a small nod, “They need the best of the best.”

A small smile appeared on your face when you looked away from him. Bradley smiled when he heard a small chuckle come from you. “This is gonna suck.” Bradley nodded again. “Don’t make it suck anymore than it already will.” Bradley gave you a questioning look. “Don’t act like you don’t know.” A small anger had started to boil in you, his facial expression adding more fuel to the fire.

“That was four, almost five years ago.” Bradley pushed off your car and turned to face you. Irritation settled on both of your facial features. His nostrils flared for a moment as the both of you stared at each other. You crossed your arms across your chest while staring at him.

“Bradley.”

“I know. I fucked up.” His words were harsh, not to you but to himself. Your anxiety had changed and turned into annoyance. “What more do you want me to say? How do you want me to fix-”

“Not everything can be fixed, Bradley. You haven’t tried to fix anything for almost five years, why try now.” Your words were bitter. That was the main question floating in your mind. Five years. Five years of silence. What was so special now?

Bradley sat in silence, not knowing what to say. A pain twinged in his chest as he watched you become a little more heated. “Now I have to go. Go inside, have a nice cold beer, play some darts, and just enjoy it.” The click of your car unlocking ended your sentence. Bradley watched silently with an irritated look as he watched you get in your car. You backed out of your parking spot, watching as Bradley stood there to watch you leave.

The car ride home was painful, tears pricking at your eyes every now and then. The silence in your car was painfully loud as tears slowly started to stream down your face. A loud slam of your car door felt like the only appropriate thing once you got to your house. You dragged your hands over your face, this was gonna be a long few weeks.

Five weeks. Three for the mission and two to find a new assignment. It seemed like a reasonable enough time frame. It wasn't too long or too short. But it was too much time around Bradley. Even though you two didn't fly in the same jet, he still managed to get under your skin.

“Go get ready. I’ll see you all in the sky.” The sound of everyone’s chairs filled the hanger after Maverick’s dismissal. Jake caught your gaze, flipping the toothpick between his teeth.

“Rooster and Howler, hang back for a moment.” Your eyes flicked up to meet Mavericks, shifting in your seat under his stare. Bradley adjusted in his own seat, correcting his posture a little bit. The shuffling of your teammates was the only noise between the three of you. After everyone left the hanger the both of you stood up, hands tucked behind your back. A stoic look dawned on both of your faces.

Maverick smiled, seeing two kids he practically helped raise standing in front of him. It hadn’t all been easy flights and sunshine though. He wasn’t present for either of your Top Gun training, but he had heard about what happened. Maverick raised his hand and dismissed your formal stances. “It’s good to see the both of you.”

A curt nod was all you could give. Rooster gave a small smile with his own nod. Maverick motioned for the both of you to come forward, closer to him as he talked. “Now I know you two are both professionals,” you and Bradley stood almost shoulder to shoulder as he spoke, “but I have to give a warning.” Your gaze wanted to look at Bradley, needing to know if he was wearing a similar expression to yours. Your gaze stayed forward though, watching Mav’s expression.

“What warning?” Bradley’s voice was laced with a hint of annoyance. You didn’t blame him, you would probably have a similar tone.

“You both know what I mean. Whatever is going on with the both of you.” Maverick’s eyes flicked between the both of you, a hidden concern plaguing him. “You have to set it aside.” Your teeth gnawed at the inside of your cheek after he spoke. You and Bradley nodded, neither of you wanting to verbally agree. Maverick nodded at the two of you again. “Good, now go get ready.”

The walk back to the locker rooms was silent, only the sounds of your boots on the floor. You slipped into the women's locker room. Callie and Natasha greeted you in the locker room, both of them ready to go.

“What was that about?” Callie asked. You knew that Natasha wouldn’t want to speak about it. Nat was good friends with Bradley, but she tried not to push and pry at the relationship you two shared. Natasha had been there when the initial discovery of the relationship was made.

“Nothing, Mav just making sure we are good.” The both of them nodded. You quickly grabbed your items and finished suiting up. The three of you knocked helmets before you left the locker room, a small ritual the three of you always did.

Most of the others were down the hallway, heading out to the tarmac. Bradley leaned against the wall, helmet hanging from his hand. He turned his head to see the three of you coming out of the room. Callie and Natasha gave him small waves as they passed him. Natasha briefly looked back, shooting you a concerned look. A small wave was what you gave her to fully dismiss her. You stopped only a few steps in front of Bradley. The both of you waited until you heard the door close finally.

“Hmm?” You made a small questioning noise at Bradley. Bradley’s eyes were locked on you, even though you were looking straight ahead.

“You good?” The question made your eyebrows knit together. You turned to look at him, his expression was still bordering stoic.

“Yeah, I’m good. You?” Bradley shrugged and raised his eyebrows briefly with his shrug.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” After pushing up off the wall he stood next to you, his helmet close to your own. An annoyed smile pulled at the corners of your lips. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. Bradley had always been like this, acting as if what happened never did. Bradley knocked his bright red helmet with your pearl blue helmet. “See you up there.”

It had to have been the universe. Why else would you and Bradley end up in the sky together? The two of you had barely been in the sky for five minutes before he spoke over the radio. “You good?”

You looked out your cockpit at him, squinting your eyes at him. Why the fuck does he keep saying that? It was like he was teasing you, knowing that you haven’t been the same since you two split.

“It’s not like you care.” It was Bradley’s turn to squint at you.

“And who told you that?” An irritation started to boil in your stomach. He had always been like this, acting oblivious to the pain he caused you.

“Didn’t need to be told, you showed me that. Or did you forget that?” There was a harshness in your voice that Bradley didn’t like.

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t play stupid.” You looked at your radar, looking to see if Maverick had popped up. It was still clear which made you think he was below or behind you two.

“Look, I know that what I did was shit.” Bradley started to plead with you in a sense. “I’m sorry.”

“Rooster, I’ve heard it before. I don’t want to hear it-”

“You’ve never heard it. Always shoot me down first.” The boiling irritation turned into shock. Bradley had never spoken to you like that, or at least never with that tone. You looked back at him, nostrils flaring.

Maverick came in over the radio, “Cut it out the two of you.”

“The fuck did you say?” Bradley shot a wave out his window, knowing damn well he was pissing you off. Bradley shot up a peace sign before diving down. You dove down behind him, the two of you falling into a rolling scissor maneuver.

Back in the ready room everyone listened to you, Bradley, and Maverick over the coms. Bob was listening intently, not sure why the two of you tended to argue so much. Bob had a slight idea but wanted to confirm the exact reason. Bob elbowed Natasha softly, gaining her full attention. “Can I ask a question?” Natasha nodded while hearing you call Rooster a cock over the coms. “Why are they like that?”

“Oh.. They have a bit of a history.” Natasha gave him an awkward smile. Natasha hated it. She loved the both of you dearly, but god did she hate how you two acted. She tried her best not to take sides. Natasha had been very vocal to the both of you when your previous relationship had been found out.

“Is that what you call it?” Bob and Natasha looked over to be greeted by Javy and Jake. Jake’s lips were curled into his devilish smirk.

“Yeah, it is.” Natasha said. Bob watched as Jake walked closer to them. Jake’s eyes were locked with Natasha’s, making her protectiveness of Rooster come out. “You don’t need to air it out, Bagman.”

Jake tilted his head slightly, his eyes flicked from Natasha’s to Bob’s. Bob averted his eyes, not wanting to fully meet Hangman’s intense gaze. “There you go Phoenix, being a good wingman for no reason. We all know what he did was wrong.” Jake kept his gaze on Bob, even though his words were directed to Natasha.

“Bradley isn’t a bad person.”

“Nobody said he was.” Coyote replied. Coyote and Hangman had both been there on that fateful night. The night that Bradley had left you broken and alone. Jake had held you close to him while Javy comforted you. Your sobs were something that they could never fully expunge from their brains. But while they were comforting you Phoenix was with Bradley, listening to his drunken ramblings. The ramblings consisted of him regretting ever ending the relationship to how he was a terrible person who didn’t deserve you.

“What exactly happened?” Bob piped up, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Sorry, it’s just everyone seems to know. I feel a little out of the loop.” A loud shout from Bradley came over the coms.

“Rooster and Howler were childhood friends, both military kids. Came to the academy and everything together.” Bob’s eyebrows knitted together in a questioning way as he listened to Javy.

“Why then are they like this?” Bob gestured to the coms, Maverick calling out and telling you two to head back to ground.

“They started fucking, giving Howler her call sign, then Rooster broke it off abruptly.” Bob’s eyes widened when he heard the bit about your call sign, making his mind wander slightly. A part of him thanked himself for having a generic call sign.

“And she’s been bitter about it since.” Phoenix spoke up.

“But Bradley left her alone, ghosting her afterwards. So, I’d say her bitterness might be a bit warranted.” Jake chimed in. Bob nodded, knowing a bit more about you and Bradley now. Fanboy then spoke up.

“Can’t you guys just stop bringing it up?” Everyone looked at him. A pensive expression was what Mickey wore, wanting to get his point across. “We were all affected by what happened. Howler was hurt and Rooster was never the same. So just stop.” Payback nodded at Fanboy’s words. Hangman let out a chuckle as he backed off of Phoenix and Bob.

“What the fuck Bradley!” You grabbed his inflation device, shoving him back. An angry but flabbergasted look was on his face after you shoved him. Everything in you wanted to throw your helmet at him. The others rushed out of the building, running to separate the two of you.

“What did I do wrong this time?” Bradley yelled at you, frustration settling on his features. His chest heaved as he looked at you, walking towards you. The two of you came face to face, only a few inches separating your face. Bradley’s eyes scanned your face, eventually landing on your lips. It took you by surprise the way he was looking at you. Your eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips, making you question your anger for a minute.

Maverick ran over, pushing the two of you apart as everyone finally arrived. Hangman and Coyote pulled you back, their words went in one ear and out the other though. Bradley was pushed back by Phoenix and Fanboy, his eyes not leaving you. A part of Bradley wondered what would have happened if nobody had shown up.

It was a flurry of words thrown about but none of it mattered. Your brain tuned it all out, trying to find some form of calm. Hangman and Coyote started to usher you towards the hanger, taking you into the ready room. Your breath was heavy when they got you in the ready room. Hangman came around to face you, his hands resting on your shoulders. “Hey.”

You tried to focus on his face, not paying attention to whatever Coyote was doing. “He…”

“No, Howler.” Jake brought both his hands to your face, centering your face with his. “Focus on me.” Your eyes locked with Jake’s, focusing on the green irises staring back at you. You nodded to Hangman, showing him that you finally were focused on him. As you stared at Jake tears started to prick at your eyes, your anger turning into sadness. Hot tears started to stream down your face. A sob racked through you as you started to cry. Jake pulled you into a hug, holding you close as you left a wet spot on his green jumpsuit.

Jake shot a look over to Javy, a knowing look. Jake stroked your hair, trying to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. “I hate him..”

“I know, it’ll be okay.” Jake’s words were soft and comforting.

“...But I still love him.”

“Roo..Bradley..” Your voice was barely a whisper, his lips traveling along your neck. His hips were slotted against your own, a small rocking rhythm being made. Bradley’s breath was hot on your skin, hands traveling up your sides to your breasts. He pulled his head back from your neck, looking down at you.

“So fucking pretty for me.”

You had never shot out of bed so fast. The clips from your dream kept repeating, making you rub your eyes aggressively. You sat there staring into your lap for a moment, wondering what the fuck that dream was. That’s when you remembered what happened last night. Your suspicions were confirmed when you looked over the edge of your bed, a sleeping Jake Seresin on your floor.

Tequila never mixed well in your system.

After you climbed out of bed, avoiding waking Jake up, you stopped at the bathroom then went to the living room. Javy was already awake, phone propped up on his chest while he scrolled. A small hand raise was all you gave him, receiving a similar one back from him.

“Jake asleep?” You nodded your head as you picked out a Keurig pod, placing it in the Keurig and waiting for the water to heat. Javy stared at you with a curious gaze, one eyebrow cocked. “You good?” No, you weren’t good. If he remembered anything from last night, he knew you were far from good. A shrug was all you offered him with a pathetic smile. “You don’t have to hide around me. Plus, Jake ain’t here right now.”

“I know, Jav. It’s just,” a stupid smile spread on your lips before you spoke again, “I had a dream about him.” Javy sat up on the couch while he gave you that look you hated. It was that stupid knowing look, the one he liked to give you back in the day. “Go on, say it.” Javy threw his hands up in a defensive manner.

“Hey, it could have been the tequila shots Jake had us taking.” Javy chuckled when he saw you give him that “yeah, bullshit” look. The sound of your Keurig pushing out your coffee filled the silence, your gaze drifting away from his. “You said you still love him.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth. You hated that Rooster still had this effect on you somehow.

The emotional damage had never fully subsided. How could it have? The two of you had grown up together. This was never supposed to be the outcome. Hell, fucking was never even apart of the plan. But you couldn’t help it, your emotions getting the better of you on one fateful day. But it wasn’t just you, he had reciprocated it. Kissing you back just as passionately as you kissed him. But the more confusing parts were when the two of you would stay up late, laying in bed while talking for hours. Or the late night beach walks so no one would find out, even though everyone already knew. It didn’t last though, falling apart in an instant.

“I know I did.” Javy threw the blanket off his lap, standing up and moving to the bar of your kitchen island. He gestured towards the Keurig, you picking up his silent asking for a cup of coffee. You just gave him yours that finished, popping in another pod after.

“You gotta face him, eventually.” You fetched the creamer from your fridge, offering it up to Javy. “I’m not trying to be pushy or anything, it’s just that..”

“He acts like we are just supposed to move past it.” You wrapped your hand around the back of your neck, sighing as your coffee finished. “As if he didn’t emotionally wreck me.” Javy poured a small amount of creamer in his coffee, grabbing a stir stick from the basket of goodies on your island. He pointed it at you intensely with the small wooden stick.

“Does he know that?” A slightly annoyed look pulled over your face.

“Really?” You snatched the creamer from in front of him. Javy took a drink from his cup, hiding a snicker. “Javy, you know damn well th-”

“Men aren’t always that smart.” You squinted at him, bringing your own cup up to your lips. You hated when Javy was right. You appreciated it but god did it annoy you. At least it was better than Jake being right.

“Except you, right?” A big smile spread across his face.

“Except me.”

The two of you hadn’t spoken since the incident. Maverick doing you both the favor of separating two from flying together, seeming as the two of you had been hazards the last time. The entire atmosphere of the group had changed too, almost like a divide had formed. You didn’t really mind, counting down each day until you could leave anyways.

You stared out at the water, toes digging deeper into the sand. As much as Jake insisted he should come with you to the beach, you told him no. You knew he just wanted to make sure you were okay, distract you from your own thoughts. But you needed your own time. Time alone to sort out your thoughts. The sun had already started lowering, an orange hue casting over your skin and the sand around you.

This was one of the few things you actually missed about Top Gun. The beach was unmatched, no other collection of sediments brought you this type of comfort. The sound of water softly beating at the sand, wetting it over and over.

Did Bradley know? Did he know how he hurt you? Broke your heart? Damaged your ability to love? But yet still had you wrapped around his finger?

Your conversation with Javy kept replying in your head, along with the memory of that terrible night years ago. The memory was so clear yet fuzzy, something you had tried not to think about for years. The forlorn look on Bradley's face compared to your distraught one. The tears ran down your cheeks as he told you 'We can't do this anymore.' As if you had agreed to end things prior. He didn't even try to comfort you, no wiping away tears or anything. Just a 'sorry' and he was gone.

You pull your knees close to your chest, tucking your face into them. Tears hadn't started to form, but you knew it'd be only a matter of time. It was such a hard concept for you to understand. How could he do that? Fuck his childhood best friend then disappear? None of it made any sense. You looked back out at the water, a deeper orange hue covering everything now. You went to lay back on the sand, but collided with something. Well, more like someone. You turned and looked up, a familiar face looking down at you.

"Hey." It had been days since you last heard him speak. His voice was soft and almost hesitant. You wondered how long he had been there.

"Hey." You turned back to stare at the sunset. You couldn't help wanting him to leave, but a small part of you wanted him to stay. Which is what he did. You could barely feel the sand shift behind you before you saw his legs extend out around your body. You turned to see Bradley had taken a seat behind you.

“Hmm?” Bradley hums.

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting down?” Bradley gave you a similar questioning look.

“Wh-why are you sitting behind me?” As much as you hated it, a part of you missed this closeness. You missed these small things your friendship used to contain. It was a friendship you were never able to replicate.

Bradley had just always provided a different level of comfort. Him buying your favorite candy without you asking, even the few comforting fucks you two shared. But maybe those gestures were what started to scare Bradley away. It was true that emotions were never something he could manage well. Even as a long time friend he had a hard time discussing them with you. He was much better at showing emotions through action, not talking about them.

“It just.. it felt natural. I can move.” Bradley’s legs started to retract from around you. Without a second thought you brought one hand out, touching the tanned skin of his knee and thigh. The two of you stared at each other for a moment. You missed those hazel eyes, full of so much untold truth.

“Stay.” Bradley nodded his head, settling back down behind you.

There was still a space between the two of you. Silence settled as the two of you watched the last slivers of the sun. Bradley remembered the last time you were at the beach. Glimpses of your bare skin barely visible underneath the water. The warmth of your body against his in the cold water. It hadn’t been the first time he had skinny dipped, but it was the most memorable.

There was a small nervousness in you. It felt almost as if years of irritation had melted away. Bradley thawing out your heart, reversing the frozen state he had left it in. You decided to test the waters of his comfortability, and a bit of your own. You leaned back slightly. Bradley welcomed you, letting you lay back against his chest. Your heart fluttered when he wrapped his arms around you, supporting your weight against him. Your legs stretched out into a more comfortable position. Once the sky started to shift from orange to black you both started to speak.

“I uh.. We should talk.” You looked up at Bradley, still leaning back into his chest. Bradley looked down at you, the mustache on his upper lip quivering in the slightest. He nodded, confirming that he also wanted to talk.

“Yeah, we probably should.” Bradley broke his stare, looking out towards the darkened water. You could see the small details of him chewing the inside of his lower lip. The small tug from the inside being barely visible on the outside of his lip. There was another silence between the two of you before you spoke up.

“What should we.. where should we begin?” As much as you wanted to attack him, the small angelic Javy on your shoulder told you else wise. Bradley shrugged, neither of you sure where to start the conversation.

“How was Maryland?” It was such a generic question, and you knew it was just to avoid the true topic.

“Maryland was nice. Lots of history there and that was about it.” Bradley smiled when he heard the history bit. “How was Europe?”

“It was nice.” The smile was still on his lips, but he had turned to look at you. “Nice to kind of get out of here, the US I mean. Just experiencing somewhere else.” You knew exactly what he meant. Right after you graduated from Top Gun you went to Japan, running away from all your emotions at the time. You were there for three years. Three years of shelving your anger and sadness towards the man you were currently cuddled up to on the beach.

“Italy, right?” Bradley nodded at your question.

“Wish you could have seen it.” Another silence. You sat up and looked at him.

“Bradley.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Do you really know what happened?” Bradley’s eyebrows knitted together a little bit. “Bradley, you broke me.” It felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest, finally admitting to him what happened. Bradley’s lips tightened together, his gaze shying away from yours. “You really have no idea, do you?” You stood up, turning to stare down at him.

Bradley sat there with his hands in his lap. He was staring at your feet, still not wanting to meet your gaze. You stared at him for a moment longer, your eyes starting to water as you looked at him. As much negative emotion you had towards him, you couldn’t help the warmth and love you still felt for him. That was when he looked up at you. Eyes watering just like yours, lips parted as he ran his tongue over his lower lip.

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t like any previous apologies he had half assed to you. This was a vulnerable apology, just the two of you. The first time he didn’t mention fixing the relationship. The last time you had seen Bradley this vulnerable was after the last time you had sex. You had categorized that night as making love, not just fucking. It was the first time you had told Bradley you loved him, even though he couldn’t say it back.

You lowered to your knees, neither of you breaking eye contact. Bradley’s knees bent, bringing his legs a bit closer to himself. You were kneeled in between his legs, one of your hands going out to stroke his cheek.

“I was scared,” Bradley had finally started to say, “I was scared to lose you.” Your eyebrows knitted together, confused by his words. He had lost you though. “I didn’t want to lose you like I lost my dad.” Tears had started to fall down his cheeks. You swiped one of them away as he looked away from your gaze. “I didn’t want to lose you abruptly. I watched what that did to my mom and I was.. I didn’t want to experience that again. So, I thought if I broke off our arrangement I’d feel better. But I didn’t.”

“Bradley.” His name was barely a whisper on his lips.

“I love you.” The three little words that you had been waiting years to hear from him. The two of you had said it as friends prior, but this was the first time it meant a little more than that. Wet streaks started to form on your own cheeks, tears rolling down them.

One of your hands snaked around his neck, the other cupping his cheek. You pressed your lips to his, conveying more than what words could. Bradley’s hands moved to your jawline, one cupping your cheek while the other cradled your jawline. It wasn’t anything sexual, only emotion. Emotions that neither of you could fully express with words. When you pulled back Bradley tried capturing your lips again, you placed a hand on his chest to stop him. You placed your forehead against his, a hand on the back of his neck and the other still on his chest.

“I’m sorry.” Bradley whispered. You smiled softly at his words.

“Don’t be.” You pulled back and looked at him again. His hazel eyes looked different now, studying your every feature.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

The next twenty minutes were a blur, moving a bit too fast for either of you to fully register. You and Bradley drove back to your house, him tailing you in his old Bronco. The two of you quickly made your way into your house, Bradley kissing at your neck as you tried to unlock your door. After your nerves allowed you to unlock the door the both of you were tumbling into the foyer. Bradley’s hands were on your hips as he kicked the door shut, pulling your ass back against his hips.

“Bradley.”

“What?” His mustache tickled your skin as he mouthed your neck. “Been thinking about this for years.”

“You could have had it the whole time.” You quipped to him. You were testing the waters, seeing how far you could push him. His hands tightened on your hips, flipping you around and backing you into the wall.

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” Bradley pressed his thigh in between your legs, rocking his hips with yours. His hands guided your hips while resting his forehead on yours. His hot breath mingled with yours, making everything seem a few degrees warmer. His mouth smashed into yours, a messy kiss ensuing. His lips were wet on yours, tongues battling for dominance inside of your mouth. Bradley’s hands snaked around to your ass, grabbing and pulling you somehow closer.

“Bradley.” His lips trailed down your jawline, connecting with your shoulder. He rested his forehead on your neck, taking deep inhales of your scent while rutting into your hips. His cock was already hard in his shorts, digging into your hip as the two of you rutted. Everything Bradley did was rushed and needy, as if it would be the last time he would have you like this. He pulled back to look at you.

“You look so beautiful like this.” A heat boiled into your cheeks, a part of you somehow forgetting how Bradley used to praise you in bed. The way he used to praise you through your orgasm, telling you how tight you were squeezing him. Your core clenched around nothing at his words, rutting your hips into his. Even though it had been years, you felt that familiar squeeze on your ass that Bradley used to get you to jump.

Bradley caught you when you jumped, pressing your back against the wall and adjusting your legs to wrap around his waist. The way his hard on was pressing against your still clothed core made you wish you were bare underneath him. Bradley groaned as he kept rutting into you, dipping his head into the crook of your neck. His mustache tickled the skin lightly as he mouthed from your jaw to shoulder.

One hand moved from cradling your ass to your shoulder, pulling the collar of the old t-shirt you wore down and to the side. His tongue traced the same exposed section of your collar bone. Your fingers threaded through his hair while your other arm snaked up around the back of his neck. You hadn't even noticed that Bradley started to move the both of you.

Both hands were planted in your ass as he walked over to the couch. The plush couch hit your back as Bradley laid you down. His hands quickly grabbed at the hem of your shirt, pushing it to feel at the newly exposed skin. The skin that was so familiar yet distant to him. The familiar ghosting of his hands over your midsection, sliding up to cup your breasts over your thin bralette.

"Fuck, I missed you so much." Bradley's heavy breaths we're hard on your skin, making goosebumps blossom all over you. His hips were still rutting against yours, practically pinning you to the couch.

"You have no idea Bradley. All the nights I thought about, fucking myself to what we used to have." Bradley stilled, panic quickly flooding your system. But then he kissed you. It was different from the make out session prior. It was more akin to what you shared on the beach.

"I missed you, not just fucking you." Bradley said when he pulled back. The look in his eyes was sincere and full of emotion. "You've always been more," a trail of kisses started down your neck, "than just a fuck to me." His hands pulled your shirt up, helping remove it and your bralette so you could receive more attention.

"Bradley," you cupped his face and pulled it to face yours, "I know. Even though you never said it, I always knew deep down." Bradley leaned forward and kissed you, that spark of passion reappearing.

"Good, cause I'm about to show you again and again and again." Bradley's lips trailed down your neck, one arm propping himself above you while the other ghosted down to your chest. He kneaded your breast, thumb rubbing and flicking your nipple. "Gonna show you til you beg me to stop."

"Don't know if that'll happen." Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging lightly. A small groan left his throat, a smirk pulling at his lips. "We've got a lot of catching up to do."

You smashed Bradley’s lips to yours, passion flowing between the two of you. The hand on your breast continued to knead the mound. The hand that was propping him up, moved closer to your head, fingers grabbing onto your hair and tugging you back away from him. The tickling trail of his mustache leads down your jaw and neck. He left a few nips on the way down, stopping to suck on the sensitive spot along your collarbone.

The soft tickling sensation continued down your skin, his lips wrapping around your left nipple. His tongue swirled around the hardening bud, flicking it every now and then. Soft moans fell from your lips, urging Bradley on. He wanted them louder, needed to hear how much you missed him. His hand left your hair, coming down to rub your cunt over your shorts. His other hand ghosted down your side, grabbing your hips as you started to roll them into his hand.

“Sound so fucking good for me.” Bradley groaned as he pulled back, watching your body react to his every touch. Your hands moved out to pull at his own shirt.

“Off. Now.” Bradley smirked, his hands leaving your body to tug his shirt off. It was as if he hadn’t changed in years, still toned and tanned. An acute nostalgia washed over you, yearning to become familiar with his body once more. The feeling was quickly replaced with excitement as you reminded yourself of what you were doing.

Bradley let out a groan when your fingers graced his skin. You sat up to meet him, hands roaming all over his chest. A smile stayed on Bradley as he watched you admire his body. Your eyes flicked up to connect with his hazel ones. One of his hands cupped your face, thumb rubbing your cheek lightly. With your eyes locked, you leaned forward and licked at one of his nipples. Bradley jolted a little bit, not used to the sensation. Groans started to fall from his lips, hand shifting from your cheek to the base of your neck. You wrapped your lips around his nipple, tonguing the bud just as he did to yours.

The air filled with soft groans and moans from the both of you. The hand at the base of your neck grabbed your hair, pulling you off his chest. Bradley kissed you once more, hot and passionate open mouth kisses. He guided you back down, laying you on the couch once more. Your fingers threaded through the soft brown locks, tugging as his kisses continued. A moan was ripped from you suddenly, Bradley’s hand now pressing against your core again.

He pulled back from you, staring at your almost breathless form. You felt the waistband of your shorts loosen, looking down to see Bradley had flicked open the button. He pressed his forehead to yours, “This okay?”

“More than okay.” You placed a kiss on his cheek. Bradley slipped his hand underneath your panties, fingers diving between your folds. Bradley listened to your moans as he rubbed circles on your clit. You let your legs fall further apart, the fabric of your shorts and panties keeping his fingers close on you. Bradley mouthed at your neck, moans filling the air as you let him have his way with you.

Bradley was nuzzled into the crook of your neck, fingers still building that sweet mountain of pleasure inside of you. An endless mantra of his name fell from your lips, fueling him further and further. The wetness coating his fingers was driving him mad. “I gotta taste you. You’ve always tasted so good.” A heat crept up your cheeks when you heard his words. A moan and nod was all you gave him, signaling you wanted him to taste you too.

You barely had time to register Bradley’s hand leaving your panties, tugging your shorts and panties down quickly. Your legs fell open, waiting for him to take his place between them. His hand gripped the inside of your thighs as he settled. He dragged his lips along the inside of your right thigh, the prickle of his mustache tickling your thighs. He breathed out a hot breath on your cunt. He snaked an arm around your thigh, fingers spreading your folds as he started to lick and suck on your clit.

“Oh fuck, Bradley!” Bradley’s locks were soft in your fingers, tugging lightly as he started to shake his head back and forth. His tongue flicked on your clit, sending small shocks of pleasure through your body. A tightness had started to form in your lower abdomen from Bradley’s actions. The hand gripping the inside of your thigh disappeared, reappearing when his fingers prodded at your entrance.

One long finger slipped inside of you, finding that soft spongy spot quickly. It was as if Bradley had never forgotten. The map he had of your body years ago, still fresh and untattered in his mind. Another finger was added inside of you, both fingers fucking into you. The combination of his fingers and his mouth was starting to become overwhelming.

“Mmm, there you go baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” Bradley groaned, looking down to watch his fingers push in and out of you.

“Bradley, if you don-” His lips were back on you, tongue assaulting your clit. With a few more flicks of his tongue and thrusts of his fingers you let go. Bradley didn’t let up as your moans turned into whines. Your body had started to shake the longer you rode out your orgasm. All of your muscles were tense, your legs starting to tighten around Bradley.

“Fuck, you taste so good.” Bradley finally let up, moving up your body as you laid there in your post-orgasmic glow. “So pretty when you come for me.” Bradley kissed you again, the taste of you flooding your senses. His hands crept up your sides, rubbing and kneading the flesh.

“I need you.” You whispered, putting your forehead to his once more. “Need to feel you in me.”

Bradley let out a groan at your request. One of his hands moved to the button of his shorts, undoing them quickly. Your hands pushed at the waistband of his shorts and underwear, him helping you pull them off. Once both articles were removed you wrapped your hand around his cock, stroking lightly.

A small shudder ran through Bradley, the distant yet familiar feeling of your hand wrapped around his cock. He would never admit that he dreamed of it multiple times over the past few years, dreaming more of his cock being deep inside of you. His head lolled for a moment, basking in the feeling of your hand.

“Fuck, I need to be in you.” Bradley nuzzled into the crook of your neck once more, lips and mustache hastily working over the exposed skin. He guided his hips closer to the apex of your legs, your hand still stroking him. When he got close enough you lined him up, his cock resting at your entrance.

He guided your legs around his waist before pressing into you. He pulled back just into time to watch your face contorted in pleasure. Your mouth was agape, a strangled moan coming out of it as he bottomed out inside of you. The stretch was intoxicating, something that you had truly missed. Bradley kissed your jaw and cheek, waiting for the approval to move.

When Bradley noticed the smallest hint of a nod he pulled his hips back a little bit. His rhythm started with slow deep thrusts, moans and groans coming from the both of you. Bradley kept nuzzled against your collarbone and neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, one hand was laced into his hair. You weren’t tugging or pulling this time, just cradling the back of his head and neck as he fucked into you.

Words were lost between the two of you. Rambling sentences fell from Bradley as broken ones fell from you. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Bradley whispered as he mouthed your neck. “You feel so fucking good. Always felt so good wrapped around my cock. So warm and inviting, makes it so hard to leave. God, you’re just amazing. Everything I could ask for. I love you.”

You weren’t sure if he said it on purpose or accident, but you didn’t think twice about saying it back. “I love you too, always have.” Bradley’s thrusts became more powerful, the speed casually increasing. His cock kept hitting that sensitive spot inside of you, sending waves of pleasure through your system.

Bradley’s arms snaked underneath you, one hand cradling your head while the other settled on the center of your back. It was similar to a cocoon, a cocoon of just Bradley. Bradley wasn’t sure what possessed him to need you that close to him, but he needed you. Wanted you to flood his senses more than the current situation. He wanted you to consume him, take away all of the bad that had ever happened between the two of you. Throw it out the window and start anew, which he felt was currently happening.

You tightened around his cock, moaning against his chest. Bradley groaned as he could feel you getting closer and closer to your orgasm. It had been years but he remembered all of the telltale signs. He let your head fall back a little, still cradling it as he pressed his forehead to your temple.

“Let go baby, let go all over my cock.” His words were slurred with pleasure but still had the same effect. The familiar tightness in your abdomen that had been mounting snapped. Your hands were reaching and clawing, trying to touch anything that was Bradley.

He let out his own string of groans from you tightening around him. With only a few more thrusts Bradley was coming inside of you. His name fell from your lips when you felt him fill you. Bradley kissed your jawline, his hips barely pumping in and out of you know. The two of you laid on the couch like that for a moment, Bradley on top of you with his softening cock still inside of you. He rested his head on your chest, the two of you laying in bliss. It was Bradley who broke the silence.

After a bit longer of laying there you tapped his shoulder, signaling for him to get up. The both of you went to the bathroom, cleaning up and using the bathroom. Bradley went to head back to the living room, but you grabbed his wrist.

“Let’s finish this in the bedroom.” Bradley gave a gentle smile before nodding towards the living room.

“Can I grab my underwear?”

“Of course, can you grab my t-shirt too?”

Bradley greeted you in the bedroom, tossing your shirt to you. He watched quietly with a smile as he watched you put it on, your lower half already beneath the covers. Bradley climbed into the bed, sitting next to you under the covers. You looked over at him, a light smile on your face. Bradley tilted his head, giving you a soft but embarrassed look.

“What?” You asked.

“I just, if you would have asked me a few days ago about this.” He made a gesture between the two of you. “I wouldn’t have imagined this. I’m sorry.”

“Bradley, you don-”

“Yes, I do.” That injured look from the beach had returned to his features. “I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for it.” You reached out for his hand, thumb rubbing the back of his hands.

“I know you won’t, but you can’t be constantly apologizing for it.” Bradley shook his head, trying to avoid your gaze now. He felt tears prick at his eyes, lips pressed tightly together at your gesture.

“I told Nat that night. I got really really drunk and told Nat everything.” Your heart hurt, hearing Bradley slowly start to open up about everything was painful. Everything you heard on the beach you could have assumed. Growing up you knew he had some type of trauma from losing his father so young.

“I told Jake and Javy.” It was now or never to get everything out and on the table, being the type of vulnerable you should have been years ago. Even though you two were partially best friends growing up, Bradley was always keeping you at some type of arm's length.

“I could have guessed that one. They seem to be your two glorified guard dogs now.” Bradley chuckled at his own comment, earning an eye roll from you.

“They were the only ones that cared,” you noticed Bradley bite the inside of his lip, “or at least seemed to care.” Bradley nodded, put his hand over the one you were holding his hand with. “Bradley, I know you cared. It was just hard for you to show it and everything.” Bradley nodded again while fighting back tears.

“You deserved better. You deserved so much better than what I gave you.” Bradley looked at you, tears starting to create trails down your cheeks. “I should have been protecting you, but I ended up hurting you. And yeah, I had shit going on mentally but that doesn’t mean I had any right to treat you like that.”

“Bradley-” You reached out to run a thumb over his cheek, whipping away the tears.

“No, it’s no excuse.”

“Bradley, will you let me talk!” You raised your voice slightly. Bradley bit the inside of his lips, holding back his words. “Yeah, you did suck, but you want to try to be better?”

“Obviously.”

“Then there. You’ve admitted to me that you fucked up. Do I completely forgive you? No, but am I willing to give you another chance? Yes.” Bradley looked at you, a hopefully but still hurt look on his face.

“Why?” A slightly confused look was on his face.

“Because I love you. I’ve been saying that.” You brought a hand up to his cheek, cupping it while you kissed him. Bradley let his tears fall as the two of you kissed, a gentle and emotional kiss. The both of you pressed your foreheads together, resting and taking each other in.

“I know, I love you too.”

#bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #bradley bradshaw smut #bradley bradshaw angst #rooster smut #rooster angst #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x f!reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster x reader #top gun fic #top gun smut #top gun angst #top gun x reader #top gun fanfic

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rex101111 · 8 months

Text

Elden Ring, Armored Core 6, and the terror of Agency.

(spoilers for AC6)

Armored Core 6 being the first game FromSoft released after Elden Ring is actually really freaking interesting, specifically because both games tackle the topic of "Agency" from two completely different perspectives.

In Elden Ring, Agency is (mostly) mechanical, the player can, from the word go, provided they don't die, choose any direction at all and do whatever they want for as long as they want. The game has the largest amount of ending of any Souls game if we take into account all the Lord ending variants, because the player can effect the world so deeply in so many ways. You can reach the end in any number of ways and the ending you get tends to be entirely up to you, and every ending is unique to itself.

In AC6, the agency is more felt in the story. That is to say, you don't have any agency at all. 621, Raven, your player character, doesn't have any sort of autonomy whatsoever. They don't get to choose which side they want to exclusively support on Rubicon, they can't choose to express any opinion about what's going on or what people say about them, they don't even have any bodily autonomy. You're a husk of a human being that can barely manage to breath in and out without external help, your mech is a glorified wheelchair iron lung combo with guns attached, and the most agency you have is with your AC. What weapons to bring, what build to make...but even that is fleeting.

Some people have complained that some bosses are damn near impossible without a certain and specific build. While I disagree, certain builds make those bosses significantly easier, but mechanical skill tends to make up for most shortcomings if you wanna stick to something specific...but there's some truth to it.

Sometimes the game will just hold your head down in the mud and say "do this or die". And unless you want to put in a lot of practice...that's what you'll do. You'll give up what little agency you have because it suddenly became the less important factor. Now you're focused on killing the bastard holding you back and moving on. The mission is what's important.

There are several times in your first playthrough where you get to "choose" which mission you wanna do, the other option vanishing until you do a new game+. One mission really deep into the playthrough, a few missions before the end, gives you the option of choosing which of the game long factions you wanna support. In any other game, this would be story shifting. It would be world altering. Deciding which faction gets the upper hand in a war...and it's an illusion.

In the briefing for eliminating the Redguns, Snail tells you plainly that if you won't do it, they'll just send Rusty in to take care of things. And if you do choose to fight the Vespers, that's exactly what happens. No matter what you did, the Redguns were doomed. The only agency you had was whether the bullet that killed them came out of your gun or someone elses.

Then, at the end of chapter 4, you get captured, and what little agency you had is utterly stripped away from you. You are in a hopeless situation, without access to the mech you put so much time and money into, or the guiding voice of your handler. You get given a hunk of junk barely held together with duct-tape and hope, and told you either use this thing to run...or die.

And then, a few missions later, the game does the cruelest thing it could have possibly done, it gives you a choice. An actual choice, a choice that will matter, a choice that you know will determine how this will all end.

Finally, finally a choice, finally some agency, all the agency in the world.

And when I got to this point? I fucking froze, I just stood there, controller in my clammy hands, and just could not for the life of me decide who to side with, who to betray, who's dreams to make true and who's to shatter. I did make my choice, eventually, because I couldn't just stop here...but I made peace with it. People died, and I expected them to, because the consequences of choice were clear to me right away.

And then...NG+. I do the opposite, I try the alternate missions. I do the other ending...and then the game plays it's most cruel trick. That big choice up there? It didn't matter either.

No matter what ending you picked first, the same people die (minus Ayre because she's special and good and we're all glad she's here), Carla, Chatty, Walter, Rusty. They all die in every ending, some by your hand, some by an enemy's, but still, still they die.

Every time you think you have agency, the game snatches it away. And the final ending just hammers it home as hard as it can. In this route, you become the slave of ALLMIND, you follow its every whim as loyally as you would have with Walter, except maybe you're doing because you saw both previous endings and you hope this time it'll be different. Maybe this time Carla and Chatty and Rusty and Walter won't die, maybe this time the ending won't leave a rotten taste in your mouth.

And then it happens again, they die anyway, again because of and in spite of your choices. And at the end...ALLMIND shows up, and demands you surrender the tiniest bit of agency you have left, your own self.

And, finally, you fight back. Finally, when there is no voice in your ear to tell you otherwise, not Walter or Ayre or Carla or ALLMIND, you make the one decision you still have the power to make.

You fight for your fucking life.

Finally, finally, some agency the game can't and won't take away. Even if all else fails, even if ideals burn and dreams die, you will always have the choice to claw your way out and FIGHT.

After a whole game three times over of not having a real choice in what happens, the taste of Agency is all the sweeter.

#armored core #armored core 6 #this is just me rambling for a bit #what a fucking game

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andvys · 1 year

Text

Everlong / part eight

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warnings: Lots of fluff, slight angst, mentions of depression and ptsd

Summary: Christmas comes around and it brings you lots of love and miracles.

Series masterlist

“We could make things work, you know?” he whispers.

With furrowed brows and a confused look in your eyes, you glance up at your boyfriend, “what?”

“With Steve.”

He brushes his fingers through your hair, kissing your cheek softly, “he is your best friend, he always was. I don’t want you to push him out of your life because you are scared that him being in love with you might drive me away, it won’t happen, Sweetheart. I get that you need time away from him, what he did all these years is fucked up and unacceptable but I know– I can see, that you still want to keep him in your life.”

You hesitate, deep down you know that you don’t want to lose him as a friend but there is so much anger inside of you.

“I don’t want to lose him, he will always be my best friend,” you start as you take his hand, “I’m just so mad and hurt.”

“I know you are and it’s okay to feel this way.”

“I think, I just need some time to think and be away from him, you know?”

Eddie nods, “yeah, take all the time that you need, baby.”

“I will,” you whisper, giving him a kiss, you lay your head on his shoulder and close your eyes.

“I’m proud of you, you know that right?”

Your heart flutters in your chest.

“You are?”

“Yeah, you were always strong but you have changed this summer. You’re stronger, more confident. You know how to stand up for yourself. I don’t just mean the thing with the gun earlier,” Eddie chuckles, “I mean with Steve. You don’t let him control you anymore–”

“That’s because of you,” you whisper.

“No,” he smiles, shaking his head, “you did that all by yourself.”

“But I wouldn’t have made it without you. A part of me was missing when we weren’t together, I didn’t feel whole and then…. you came along.”

Eddie knows exactly what you are talking about. He feels the same way. You gave him strength, even in the darkest times.

“I feel the same way,” he whispers, kissing your shoulder.

“You do?”

“I do.”

You smile and nuzzle your face into his neck, kissing him there. He holds you tighter, smiling at the way you always find comfort in his arms.

“I guess we just belong together, huh?”

“We really do,” he whispers with a large smile on his face. He rubs your back gently, playing with your hair as you both stay like that for a while. Enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms.

Eddie is so happy. He never thought that he would ever feel this way in his life.

“Hey, Eddie?” you whisper as you lean back so you’re face to face again.

“Yes?” he asks, eyeing the nervous expression on your face.

“Was that.. a heat of the moment kind of thing that you said earlier or do you actually want that someday?”

He knows exactly what you’re talking about, what else would make you blush that way?

Truth be told, Eddie never thought that he would ever want kids, that’s probably because he never thought that he would ever be lucky to have someone like you by his side but now that he has you, now that there’s a whole future waiting for the two of you, he wants it.

“I did,” he smiles, cupping your cheeks, “I want it all with you.”

Your heart skips a beat, a warm feeling settles in your stomach and you can’t help but smile excitedly, “yeah?” you whisper.

“Yeah,” he says as he places a soft kiss on your lips.

“I want it too,” you move your arms around his neck and lean your forehead against his, “I want everything, with you.”

A few months passed after the night at the hideout.

You haven’t seen or heard from Steve since then. You miss him, you can’t help it. He used to be a huge part of your life but putting the distance between you two was necessary, you needed a break from him.

Walking through the aisles at the store, you go through your grocery list, not paying attention to where you are going until a hand stops your cart, “careful.”

Your head snaps up at the sound of her voice. Your eyes meet hers, you haven’t seen her since that night at Steve’s party. She didn’t call, she didn’t come to see you when she was here for Halloween. There was nothing but radio silence.

It hurts, of course it does. You lost two friends, all at once.

“H-Hey,” she smiles.

You restrain yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Hi,” you mumble before you move the cart, walking around her to keep going. If she can ignore you, then you can do the same to her.

“Y/n, listen–”

“I don’t feel like talking to you right now, Robin.”

Robin sighs, following you as you walk into the next aisle.

She misses you. These past few months have been weird without you. Nancy is nice, she is the best roommate she could ask for, she considers her one of her best friends but she isn’t you.

“I miss you.”

You halt in your tracks, taking a deep breath before you turn around to face her.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she whispers with a sad smile on her face.

You stare into her eyes. She is telling the truth, you know she is. You would have been disappointed if you found out that she just wanted you back because Nancy dropped her but you know that it isn’t the case, Jonathan told you that they are still as close as they were in the summer.

But you are still angry and hurt.

“I thought you were sick of me and my whining,” you say, rolling your eyes.

Her face falls and she looks down for a moment, you are angry and you have every right to be so.

“I– listen, what I said was fucked up, like really fucked up and I never wanted to hurt you. I-I didn’t get sick of you, I was talking shit.”

You scoff, “right, that’s why you avoided me all summer.”

“I didn’t mean to–”

“You constantly canceled our plans, Robin! You didn’t come to see me before you left, you didn’t come to see me when you were here for Halloween and you didn’t call me, not once!” you exclaim as tears of frustration well up in your eyes.

“I-I felt ashamed of myself,” she mumbles, looking around the empty aisles, she feels grateful for the lack of people around the store right now. Stepping closer to you, she looks down at her hands, playing with her rings, “after the party, me and Nancy got into a fight, well, kind of.”

You raise your brows in question.

“She uh– she was mad at me and Steve for what we did and.. said.”

Oh.

You feel surprised by her words. You know that Nancy isn’t your biggest fan. You were never really the greatest of friends, even though you did work well as a team whenever you fought monsters together but that’s all.

“Yeah and it was awkward for some time because she kind of took your side. She made me realize a few things. I’m just, I’m really sorry, y/n. I know that I messed up, really fucking badly but I still see you as my best friend.”

“That’s not what you made it sound like at Steve’s party,” you mumble.

“Yeah, I know.. I never wanted to replace you though, I just… it’s different, Nancy is– I.. fuck,” she stutters, sighing as her shoulders slump.

You watch her in confusion, noticing the red cheeks, the look of heartbreak in her eyes, the shakiness in her voice. It reminds you of you when you loved Steve.

“Oh,” you whisper in shock, “you like her.”

She glances at you with a sad look in her eyes, nodding.

“Did you tell her?” you ask as you watch her closely.

Her reaction tells you that she did and she obviously must have gotten her heart broken.

Nancy is with Jonathan and they seem pretty happy together, there is no space for Robin in Nancy’s heart.

“No,” she chuckles, shaking her head, “god, no. Her and Jonathan are talking about moving to New York after college, they are in for the long haul. I just.. fuck, at first I thought that it was a silly crush but we literally share a room together, we are constantly around each other and she’s just.. amazing.”

She has that twinkle in her eyes, the hopeless one.

“Y-You love her?”

Tears well up in her eyes and she nods.

“Shit, Robin..” you whisper.

You are still hurt by her actions but you can’t be mad at her and turn your back on her, not now. You know exactly what she feels like, you’ve been there, way too many times.

“Yeah, shit..” she chuckles as she wipes her tears away, “anyways uh– I meant to call you or come see you sooner but I just couldn’t bring myself to. Again, I’m really sorry for what I did. I understand if you don’t forgive me but if you wanna try.. I’m gonna be here until Sunday so if you wanna hang out or come over, call me.”

You nod.

She gives you a small smile, “okay.. bye,” she whispers before she turns around, walking away from you.

She is your best friend, she always will be, just like Steve. You are still very hurt by their words and by their actions but you don’t want to lose them.

“Robin?”

She turns around, a hopeful look in her eyes, “yeah?”

“Do you wanna get coffee or something?” you ask with a small shrug.

“I’d love to.”

You didn’t expect to spend your day off with Robin, till this afternoon, you didn’t even know that she was back in town but you were happy to spend time with her again. She told you about college, about the parties she and Nancy go to whenever they are not busy studying or working and you told her about Eddie, about your relationship with him.

She could see the happiness in your eyes, the large smile on your face as you talked about him.

While she knows how much Steve loves you, she can’t help but be happy for you and Eddie. She always knew that there was something more between the two of you, maybe even before you both were aware of it.

You moved on from Steve and you found love, true love. You found your home in Eddie.

And while she found nothing but pain and heartbreak, she is truly happy for you. She knows that it will take time to get back to how things were before this whole mess but Robin wants to make things right, she wants you back in her life and she hopes that you still have a place for her in your life.

It is close to Christmas now, it’s cold outside, the streets are covered in snow, the fresh crisp air reminding you of all the time you spent outside in the snow when you were a kid, when you were still friends with Steve.

A bitter feeling settles in your chest when you think of all the memories you have made together around this time of year. Christmas shopping, ice skating, christmas markets, baking cookies together– well, Steve was a horrible baker but surprisingly he was good at decorating. On weekends, you would always sleep over at his place, his parents were never there and you would use the opportunity to build a huge fort in the living room to watch Christmas movies in. You smile at the memory, everything used to be so simple.

“Hey baby– Jesus,” Eddie gasps as he walks into the apartment, shutting the door, he quickly takes his boots and jacket off, “are you trying to freeze to death or something?” he chuckles as he sees you standing by the open window, leaning against the wall as you watch the big snowflakes fall.

Your eyes light up as your eyes meet his, shutting the window, you rush towards him with a big smile on your face, “hello, my love,” you whisper, greeting him with a kiss.

Eddie smiles brightly, pulling you into his embrace, he wraps his arms around your waist and closes his eyes as he deepens the kiss. Eddie loves coming home to you, after a long day at work, there is nothing better than this.

He hums into the kiss, gliding his hand down your back.

“I missed you,” you mumble against his lips.

“I missed you too,” he whispers, pecking your lips.

You giggle as he nuzzles his nose against yours.

“You are so adorable,” you chuckle.

“Adorable?” he asks, furrowing his brows as he tries to look mean, “this town thinks I’m the devil and here you say I’m adorable,” he jokes.

You slap his chest lightly, “shut up.”

He chuckles and pulls you into him again, leaning down to latch his lips onto your neck, peppering kisses along your neck and jaw as he pushes you backwards into the living room.

“Eddie, that tickles!” you giggle, squeezing your eyes shut.

The sound of your giggle will never not make his heart flutter like crazy.

You fall on the couch, trying to pull him down with you but he stops you, groaning as he pulls away from you, “I don’t wanna get you all dirty with these clothes.”

“Then get out of these clothes.”

He smirks at the suggestive tone in your voice, “I will, in the bathroom. I need a shower, I smell. Did you shower already? We can do it together, save water and all, you know?” he says, wiggling his brows.

You snort, it wouldn’t be the first time for you to shower together but most of the time it would just turn into something else.

“Please?” he asks, staring at you with a pout on his face, “don’t wanna be away from my girl any second longer today.”

“Okay,” you smile.

Before you can react, a devilish grin appears on his face and he leans down, grabbing your waist, he throws you over his shoulder and slaps your ass, laughing at the squeal that fell from your lips.

He carries you to the bathroom, turning on the lights, he closes the door before he places you back on your feet, chuckling as you pout at him.

“You’re adorable,” he says as he steals another kiss from you, “now let me take your clothes off.”

He reaches for the hem of your– his sweater, taking it off easily.

“I love when you wear my clothes.”

“Yeah?”

He nods, smiling cutely.

“You should wear some of mine too,” you joke as you step closer to him to help him out of his clothes.

His brown eyes twinkle with amusement, “yeah? You wanna see me in one of your cute little skirts?”

You burst into laughter at the thought of it.

Eddie’s eyes light up, he continues to joke with you as you help each other out of your clothes. Stealing kisses in between. You step into the shower, letting the warmth of the water embrace you and his arms. He pulls you into a hug, kissing your forehead.

You close your eyes and lean your head against his chest.

“How was your day?” he whispers.

“It was okay, work was boring, couldn’t wait to go home and spend time with you,” you say, leaning your chin on his chest as you glance up at him.

He smiles, “and I couldn’t wait to come home to you,” he whispers, excitement lingering in his eyes.

Eddie cups your cheek, brushing your wet hair out of your face, he smiles as he looks into your pretty eyes. God, he loves you. So much that he is ready to get down on one knee and propose to you just after less than six months of dating.

You are his forever. He knew it, right from the start. There is something much deeper that ties you together, it’s not forceful, it’s just natural. There is love and then there’s something more than that, he can’t describe it but he can feel it and he knows you feel it too.

Your fate was sealed the moment you looked into each other’s eyes for the very first time. You are made for each other. Call him a hopeless romantic but he truly believes that you have been with each other already, in another life and he is convinced that you will find each other in every other one after this one.

He belongs to you and you belong to him. There is nothing and no one that could ever come between that.

Later that night, Eddie walks into the living room with an excited smile on his face, shaky hands and a pounding heart. You stand with your back to him, you just put a new cassette into the recorder, a glass of red wine in your hand.

Eddie takes a moment to appreciate the sight of you, wearing one of his big flannels and knee high socks, his stomach flutters.

Holding the tiny box tightly in his hand, he walks towards you, wrapping his arms around you, he pulls you into his chest. Smiling as you lean your head against his shoulder.

“Are you drunk yet?” he chuckles as he looks at the wineglass in your hand.

“This is my first glass,” you giggle as you tilt your head to look at your lover.

“Good,” he says.

You notice the nervous look in his eyes, the shaky tone in his voice. Furrowing your brows, you grow concerned the longer you look at him.

He smiles, kissing your temple, “I need you to be sober for this.”

“What–” your words get caught in your throat as you hear the click of the small box in his hands, you look down, a small gasp falls from your lips and your eyes immediately tear up as you stare down at the beautiful ring. You place the wineglass on the dresser and place your hand on his.

“Eddie,” you whisper, a smile tugging on your lips as a single tear escapes your eye.

Eddie’s heart is racing, his knees feel weak, he honestly feels like passing out, that’s how nervous he is.

“I-I know, we haven’t been dating for long but I want this, I want you, forever.”

You can’t even begin to describe the happiness that just took hold of you.

“You have my heart, you make me happy, so fucking happy, Sweetheart. If I could, I would give you the whole world.”

“You are my world, Eddie,” you whisper, smiling as you finally turn back to look at him, you see the glassy eyes, the shaky bottom lip, the happiness in his eyes when he sees that you truly want this too.

“God, okay wait, okay,” he suddenly stutters nervously, kissing your cheek, he lets go of your waist. Brushing his tears away before he takes your hands in his and leads you towards the big christmas tree by the window, “this has to be perfect.”

You giggle, smiling through the tears. He smiles too and raises your hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your hand, he looks into your eyes, already glistening with happy tears. He gets down on one knee and you have to try your hardest not to sob from all the excitement and your love for him.

His hands are so shaky, you can feel it as he holds yours even tighter. A smile lingers on his lips as he stares at you for the longest time. Taking the moment to appreciate you as you stand there beneath the sparkles of all the Christmas lights you put up, your eyes flicker with so much excitement, it makes him even happier, his heart feels so full of love, it embraces him completely.

He speaks your name in such a soft tone it makes your heart flutter as though you’ve just heard him say it for the very first time.

“You are the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me, the moment I looked into those stunning eyes of yours, I knew I had found my home– call me dramatic but when you literally ran into me in the parking lot at school and you started rambling about how shitty your first day of high school was, my heart literally exploded right there when I heard your pretty voice and don’t even get me started about that gorgeous face of yours, I was swooning– still am, by the way.”

You chuckle at his words, shaking your head with a big smile on your face. The memory is so fresh in your mind, it feels as though it only happened yesterday.

“You always made me so happy, a smile from you, a short conversation with you, the pen you would borrow me and the snacks you would share with me when we ditched last period to smoke under the bleachers or the times we would sneak into the theater instead of paying for the tickets? Shit, those were the happiest moments of my life,” he says, “I have loved you forever, Sweetheart. I know other’s would call me crazy for asking you so soon but I know you’re my forever, there’s no point in waiting any longer.”

You are itching to scream the word ‘yes!’ You have never wanted anything more than this in your life. You almost start bouncing on your feet just from the excitement.

You stare into each other's eyes, both crying already. There is this look in both his and your eyes. Love, adoration and so many more emotions that you can’t even begin to describe.

He almost giggles as he sees how impatient you are starting to get, eyes flickering between his eyes, his lips and the ring.

Whispering your name in the softest and loving tone you have ever heard, he smiles, rubbing your skin with his thumb, “will you marry me?” he whispers.

Who would have thought that Eddie would ever speak these words out loud to you, that they wouldn’t just stay in his imagination and the little fantasy world he has created for you and him to live in.

You want to scream and squeal in excitement but all these emotions and all this happiness you feel steal your voice away, your eyes well up with happy tears and you nod your head, trying not to sob as you whisper, “yes, yes, yes!”

You throw yourself into his arms, almost knocking him over as you fling your arms around his neck. Eddie holds you tightly against him as he sits back, pulling you closer to him so you can sit on his lap, you both giggle as you look into each others eyes, before he kisses you, he takes the ring out of the box and takes your hand, “you wanna be my wife, Sweetheart?” he whispers as he raises your hand towards his lips, placing a kiss on your ring finger.

“Yes, I wanna be your wife, Eddie,” you whisper, smiling at him.

Your heart is filled with so much love and happiness as you watch him slide the ring on your finger with the happiest smile you have ever seen on his face, his eyes flickering with endless love for you.

The ring fits perfectly, the little stone shines brightly, more tears well up in your eyes as you admire it, “I love it,” you whisper.

Eddie kisses your hand again before he cups your cheeks, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you smile as you pull him into a long and passionate kiss. You put your arms around his neck as he pulls you closer by wrapping his arms around your waist, smiling into the kiss, your heart flutters wildly in your chest. God, you love this man with all your heart and soul.

His love for you just keeps growing bigger and stronger, each and every second that passes he gets happier and happier.

A squeal leaves your lips as Eddie pushes you down against the floor, laying you gently on the carpet as he attacks your neck with kisses.

“My girlfriend, my fiancee, my wife,” he whispers as he kisses his way up to your jaw, pressing his soft lips to your cheeks before he finally looks into your eyes with his pretty bambi eyes.

You giggle, raising your hand to play with his hair, “my boyfriend, my fiance, my husband.”

His heart flutters at your words, at the happy tone in your voice and that look in your eyes.

“I love the sound of it, husband, damn right, I’m gonna be your husband,” he giggles, leaning into your touch as you cup his cheek.

“You’re gonna be the best husband,” you say, pulling him in for another kiss.

“And you’re gonna be the best wife.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” he grins, admiring your pretty face as you stretch your hand out to stare at the beautiful ring. He is happy, so so happy.

“You know,” you start, wrapping your arms back around his neck, “I don’t see a point in waiting either, I know you’re the one for me, I wanna be with you forever. I’ll give you anything, Eddie.”

“Anything?” he asks, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“Anything,” you smile.

“I’ll give you anything too, my love.”

My love.

He is so sweet, so goddamn sweet, it makes your heart beat like crazy.

“So, what does my pretty girl want right now?” he grins.

“I want you to kiss me and then I want you to take me into our bedroom and then I want you to make love to me.”

The smile he gives you only makes your heart beat faster, “that can be arranged,” he says, chuckling as he picks you up, slamming his lips against yours as he carries you to your shared bedroom, “gonna make sweet love to you all night, my pretty fiancee.”

Eddie had already turned on the fairy lights you both hung up when you decorated the apartment with christmas decorations, he added a few candles too, making the room seem even more comforting. He gently places you on the bed, without breaking the kiss as he settles in between your legs.

“I can’t wait to call you my wife and brag about you to everyone,” he smirks, wiggling his brows.

Your cheeks heat up at his words, the giggle that falls from your lips only makes him smirk even more.

“I can’t wait to brag about my hot and very sweet husband,” you say as you reach for the hem of his shirt, you tug at it and help him take it off.

Eddie feels dizzy with excitement, your words make his stomach flutter with butterflies.

You place your palm on his chest, tracing his tattoo, his necklace dangles in front of your face and you pull him closer by tugging at it, “you are so pretty, Eddie.”

“So are you,” he grins as he gets lost in your eyes. Gratitude wells up inside him, he gets the girl. He has your heart, your love, you. Eddie only ever saw pain and heartbreak whenever he thought of his future, there was never a single second of hope for you both before this summer but then you gave him a chance, you allowed him to show you how much he loves you and as you got more and more comfortable with him, you revealed your true feelings for him and how long you have had them.

The fear of losing him was too much to bear, especially when he had already almost died in your arms before but he made a promise to you, he would never leave you again, he would never hurt you, he would never do anything to disappoint you or make you doubt his love for you.

Eddie will make sure that you will spend every day of your life in love and happiness. It’s what you deserve.

He will give you everything. He would bring you the stars, the sun and the moon if he could. Anything you will ask him for, he will make sure that you will get it.

As he looks into your eyes, he can already see your shared future, a pretty and happy one.

As he kisses your lips, he can feel all this intense love that you have for him and it gives him so much joy.

You lose yourself in each other’s touch, his naked skin is pressed against yours and it feels like the very first time, all over again.

“I’m so in love with you,” he whispers against your lips, still not believing that he will have you forever.

“I’m in love with you too, Eddie,” you smile.

Your heart could burst from all the love you have for him and it brings you peace and joy to know that he feels the same.

Forever belongs to you and Eddie.

Two weeks later

Steve found peace in working the late shift at family video. With no one to come home to, no dates to look forward to and no you in his life, he found himself feeling very lonely the past few months.

Ever since the night at the hideout, things just haven’t been the same. They haven’t been the same for a long time, even before that, he just didn’t want to realize it. He lost you, not only as his girl but also as his best friend and it broke his heart and pushed him into a very dark place. He knows there is no one to blame but himself.

Losing you and being so alone these past few months made him reflect on a lot of things. He realized just how messed up his mind was after all the events that followed since he had been pulled into a world filled with monsters. Having absent parents and a cold hearted father didn’t make his life any easier either.

All these girls have been a distraction, every single one of them. It gave him the thrill that made him forget. The chase, the first date, the sex it all distracted him from the pain and the trauma that the upside down and the night at the Russian base have caused him.

But as distracting as it was, his nightmares always brought him back into this reality, even with a warm body by his side.

No one and nothing could take his pain away.

Maybe that’s part of the reason why he didn’t just give you a chance. You deserved better than a broken man, you have Eddie now, you are happy and so is he. It hurts to know that another man can give you something that he could never give you but as painful as it is, he is happy for the both of you.

Still, he misses you and he regrets his actions every single day. The Christmas time doesn’t make it any easier. There has never been a single Christmas that you have spent without each other since you have become friends.

You had your own traditions, little things that made him happier than his family ever could during this time. The café you work at now always has Christmas specials, cookies and different hot chocolate flavors. You would order a bunch and spend hours sitting in the last booth, just talking, laughing and trying out all the different hot chocolate flavors.

His favorite hot chocolate will always be the one you make. The thought that he will never get to taste it again makes his chest hurt.

Stepping out into the cold, he tugs his jacket tighter against his body as he wraps the scarf around his neck. He closes the door and locks it.

It’s dark out, a few Christmas lights decorate the store windows. The snow is falling peacefully.

Steve sighs as he thinks of the silence and the emptiness he will come home to. A feeling of sadness and loneliness already settled deep inside of him.

“Steve.”

He freezes, eyes widening and heart skipping a beat at the sound of your voice. For a moment, he thinks that it’s his mind playing tricks on him. He imagined this way too many times before but then he hears the snow crunch under your boots and the smell of hot chocolate suddenly lingers in the air.

He takes a deep breath before he lets go of the door handle and turns around to face you. An uncertain look takes over your face, your eyes flicker with sadness as you meet his eyes for the first time again. Your lips twitch and a small smile appears on your face.

You hold two takeaway cups in your gloved hands.

“Hi..”

Steve’s gaze softens and his eyes almost tear up. He speaks your name softly, automatically taking a step closer to you.

“Hey you,” he smiles.

You take in the sight of him, he looks sad. Sadder than the last time you saw him. His eyes are glassy, his expression looks pained. It makes your stomach drop.

“How are you?” you ask.

He stares at you, for a moment he is at loss for words. You are beautiful and you are glowing, your eyes shine with joy. A bitter happiness settles within him, it’s nice to see you like this but it also reminds him of what he has lost.

“I-I’m alright,” he says, “how are you?”

“I’m good. Do you uh– do you want a hot chocolate?” you ask, holding the one you got for him up.

“Yeah,” he smiles, taking it from your hand, he thanks you. His heart warms in his chest, you didn’t want to miss your traditions.

“Wanna go on a walk and look at Christmas lights like we used to do?”

“I’d love to.”

You smile at him and he could swear, for a moment all his sadness vanished into thin air but he knows it’s only temporary, the moment you leave again, his heart will break all over again.

You make small talk as you walk through the snowy streets. He can tell that you are here to talk about something else, he can see it in your eyes but for now you settle for this and he is just happy to see you and be around you again.

His heart feels complete when you are by his side.

“Are you going to Joyce’s Christmas party next week?” Steve asks.

You nod, “yeah, she invited us.”

Us.

You and Eddie.

“Are you coming?” you ask as you turn to look at him.

“Yeah, I will,” he says, giving you a small smile.

“Cool,” you mumble before you let the silence surround the two of you– it’s not weird or awkward. The silence between the two of you never was. Even after everything that happened it’s still a comfortable one. That’s how it should be with a best friend, even after what happened.

For a few minutes, neither of you say anything. You just enjoy the pretty lights and the snow, the hot chocolate and the presence of the other.

You missed your best friend.

Steve is curious about this sudden change of heart but he doesn’t dare to question it, he is just happy to see you again.

“I forgive you,” you say quietly, finally breaking the silence as you both come to a halt at the end of the street.

Steve’s head snaps towards you and he looks at you in surprise, “w-what?” he asks softly.

You blink, wiping away the snowflake that just fell on your cheek, “I forgive you.”

The heavy weight was finally lifted off of his shoulders and he feels as though he can finally breathe again. His eyes well up with tears and he stares at you with a relieved look on his face.

“I just– I miss you, Steve,” you whisper, “I miss my best friend.”

Of course you only miss him as a friend, he knows there’s no hope for anything more than that but Steve doesn’t even let his mind go there, he is just happy to hear these words from you.

"Really?" he asks.

Tears threaten to spill the longer he stares at you. There is no anger, no hate, no disgust in your eyes anymore. You look at him the way you used to look at him when you were kids, before you knew what feelings or what love truly was, just innocent platonic love and god, he missed it. He missed you. He missed your friendship and what you used to be before things got so complicated.

You nod.

“I miss you too, so fucking much,” he whispers and finally, the tears spill.

You almost start crying too as you stare at the broken yet happy look in his eyes. You reach for the hot chocolate in his hand before you place both his and yours on the ground. He gives you a questioning look but then you crash into his arms and wrap your arms around his waist, laying your head on his chest.

He melts into your touch, placing his hands on your back, he pulls you closer and closes his eyes as he lets the tears fall.

For a moment, you both just stand there, in each other’s embrace under the falling snow, surrounded by all the Christmas lights and decorations.

And just like that, Steve feels at peace again. Right at this moment, his heart doesn’t hurt anymore, he isn’t in pain and he can just let himself fall.

There isn’t anything romantic about the scene, at least not for you but it’s beautiful and it feels nice to be with each other again.

“Do you wanna have dinner with me and Eddie?” you ask, pulling away from the hug, “he is cooking tonight.”

He already misses the feeling of you in his arms.

Steve gives you a skeptic look, chuckling a little, “Eddie is cooking?”

“Yeah,” you laugh, “surprisingly he is kind of good at it.”

He chuckles, “okay, I’ll be the judge of it.”

It’s the first time since July that Steve steps foot inside your apartment, which you now share with Eddie. The first thing he sees is the big christmas tree in your living room, he smiles, of course you chose the biggest christmas tree for your small apartment. The smell of food lingers in the air.

You shut the door and take your shoes and your coat off, chuckling when you hear Eddie cursing in the kitchen.

“Doesn’t sound good,” Steve laughs.

You shake your head, “he always curses whenever he cooks ,” you snort.

“Eddie?”

He rushes out of the kitchen at the sound of your voice, an excited look takes over his face when he looks at you, “hi baby,” he grins, pulling you into his arms, he presses a soft kiss on your lips. You smile, placing your hand on his neck.

Steve clears his throat as he eyes the two of you.

Eddie pulls away from you, looking over your shoulder with a surprised look in his eyes, “Steve?”

Eddie wasn’t sure how the conversation between you and Steve would go but he knew that you wanted your friend back.

“Hey man,” he says, chuckling a little when he sees the pink apron he is wearing, that most definitely belongs to you. His hair is in a low bun and there is some tomato sauce on his cheek, that you wipe away with a laugh, “you look.. good,” he jokes.

Eddie smirks, “right?”

You chuckle as you look between them, “when’s dinner ready?”

“Almost done,” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulls you into him.

“Do you need some help?”

“Nope, just go and hang out with Harrington,” he smiles, squeezing your waist.

After you pour yourself a glass of wine and grab a beer for Steve, you join him in the living room, sitting on the couch, he looks at the polaroids you have laid out on the table earlier today. He stares at the one of you, him and Robin. You are in between them, you and Robin are smiling at each other while he looks into the camera with a grin on his face.

“That was a good day,” he mumbles, looking up at you.

“It was,” you smile, sitting down next to him, you hand him his beer but as he reaches for it, his finger touches the ring on your finger, he freezes, eyes widening in shock. He takes your hand and for a moment, he just stares at the ring in silence.

You breathe in nervously, eying his reaction closely. A part of you is scared that he will storm out of the apartment in anger and the other part of you feels relieved that you can finally share this with your friend.

He blinks, heart dropping to his stomach. Sadness rushes through him at the realization that you have fully moved on, you are engaged to a man that makes you happier than he ever could. Despite the pain in his heart, he smiles, knowing that you are happy.

“Oh y/n..” Steve whispers, his gaze softens as he raises head, his eyes meet yours. You can see the sadness lingering in them but the smile on his face tells you that he is happy for you.

“I-I’m happy for you.”

“You are?”

He nods, smiling sadly. He holds your hand for a moment longer before he lets go, “I am, I really am. You and Eddie.. it just works.”

He blinks, furrowing his brows as he looks down at his hand, “I just, I had a lot of time to think the past few months and I thought of all the things that happened in the past and in the upside down..” he pauses, eyes flickering to the pictures on the table, “I remember the way you and Eddie stayed by each other’s side the whole time after we found him at the boathouse, the way you looked at each other, the way you looked at him. It.. it was different, you never looked at me that way. I already knew that there was something but I lied to myself, told myself that it was nothing,” he says, chuckling sadly, “clearly there always was something and I guess, I find peace in knowing that he will treat you right. So, I’m very happy for you.”

A smile tugs at your lips and your gaze softens.

“Thank you, Steve,” you whisper, reaching for his hand, you give it a squeeze.

He nods.

Steve will always regret the things that he did, knowing that he had your heart and your love once and threw it all away for nothing will always cause him pain and a part of him feels like he will never move on from the love he lost but as much as it hurts to know that he will never get you back, he still doesn’t want to lose the love he has for you.

“I’m happy to have you back, Steve.”

“I’m happy too.”

At least he knows that he will never lose your friendship and as you all find yourselves at Joyce’s place, a week later, he can’t help but smile watching you and Eddie break the news of your engagement to all your friends.

Dustin is the happiest out of all of them, grinning at the two of you, “I knew it!”

“What did you know?” you chuckle.

“That you would get married someday, I knew it from the start!”

“Yeah me too, dude,” Argyle smiles as he throws an arm around Eddie’s shoulder, “I told you, didn’t I?”

Eddie blushes, nodding with a smile on his face.

Mike stares at you with furrowed brows, “wait,” he mumbles, “why are you getting married so soon?” he asks, eyes moving down to your stomach, “are you pregnant?”

Will rolls his eyes, “Mike,” he mumbles.

A devilish grin appears on Eddie’s face and he steps up behind you, placing his hands on your stomach, “and what if she is?”

Steve freezes, breath hitching in his throat. He knows that it will happen someday but he isn’t ready to see you and Eddie living the life he always wanted, even when he accepted your relationship already. It’s still all so fresh and the pain doesn’t get any easier.

“W-Wait, you’re pregnant?” Argyle gasps.

“No!” you chuckle, “he is joking. We got no time for a kid yet.”

“Right, because you gotta practice some more before that,” Jonathan says, wiggling his brows at you.

Blushing, you shake your head as you look away. Eddie chuckles as he pulls you closer against his chest.

“Exactly,” Eddie grins, leaning down to press a kiss to your shoulder, “and we got a lot of concerts to go to before we make a bunch of babies.”

You laugh at his words, leaning your head against his chest.

“A bunch of babies?” Max gasps as she joins you all in the living room, “are you sure you want a lot of crazy Munson babies, y/n?”

“She’s gonna be a Munson too, red.”

“Well, I’ll happily babysit all the Munson babies,” Dustin grins at you.

“Me too,” Will says with a smile on his face.

Steve watches you with a sad smile on his face, another reminder of what he has lost, what kind of a future he has lost with you, makes his heart ache in pain.

“You okay?” Robin asks as she leans against the wall next to him, offering him the drink that she brought him, he smiles, taking it.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, eyes flashing with longing as he watches you press a kiss to Eddie’s cheek, “yeah.. I’m okay.”

Robin sighs, the look on her face shows nothing but sympathy. He notices it, sighing, “Robin..”

“It’s okay to be sad, you know?” she whispers, glancing at Nancy as she walks out of the kitchen, joining Jonathan on the couch.

“Yes but it sucks.”

“It really does,” she mumbles as she tears her eyes away from the happy couple.

“Can’t believe that I fucked up so badly.”

Robin eyes her best friend, as much as he tries to show his happiness for you and Eddie, there is still a lot of sadness and heartbreak in him and even though he brought it on himself, she still feels bad for him.

“We all make mistakes, Steve.”

He nods, eyes lingering on you as Jonathan motions for you and Eddie to sit down so he can take a picture of you. Eddie pulls you on his lap, wrapping his arms around you, you turn towards him, smiling at him as Jonathan takes a picture.

He could have had this.

“Yeah and I will regret my mistakes for the rest of my life,” he mumbles, “but she- they are happy, that’s all that matters, they both deserve this.”

He knows that he will never find a love like this again, you are his love, even if he isn’t yours anymore. He isn’t the one who gets to have your heart but then again, looking back at it, he never even deserved it but he does.

Eddie will keep your heart safe and you will keep his safe.

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deanwritings · 6 months

Text

The Guest House - Chapter 6

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Series Summary: Dean Winchester is going through a nasty divorce. He doesn't have much left to his name, but what he does have is his house. Leave it to his soon-to-be ex wife to find a way to even ruin that for him. Enter Y/N, who is looking to get away from life for a bit, and stumbles right into the middle of it all.

The Guest House Master List

Word Count: 3,288

A/N: Almost missed this week's chapter because I've been obsessively reading Fourth Wing and Iron Flame. Took a lot of willpower to put the books down and get this finished 😅

You were absolutely shocked, flabbergasted, dismayed, aghast, and every other word in the thesaurus when Dean offered to be your hiking buddy.

Never in a million years did you ever expect the man to offer you any favors, not alone fix your car, and definitely not take you hiking.

After he left for work, a part of you still wanted to go. You weren’t one to wait around if you didn’t have to, but if you were being honest with yourself, you had been scared to go alone. The only times you had ever hiked alone was when you were a fearless teenager, and even then you had your 110 pound dog, Beau, by your side, so you never had to worry about someone bothering you. Plus, those were your home trails, you knew them even when you took a wrong turn. Mount Carmel was entirely new to you. Even though the hiking reviews said the trails were relatively easy, there was always a chance of missing a trail marker, especially being out of season. Hiking markers were typically re-sprayed in spring, so it had been almost a year of weathering the elements since the last time they’d likely have been updated.

And of course, the big question ringing in your mind – could you trust Dean? The truth was, you didn’t know much about him. Every interaction up until that point had been contentious at best. Not to mention that gun he first greeted you with. Sure, you two had a nice morning together, but was that enough to trust him and let him lead you through the woods alone?

So you decided to give Sydney a call.

“Absolutely not.” Her voice rings through the receiver. “Just cause he was nice to you once means nothing.” You sigh as you throw yourself onto the couch.

“I know.” And you do. That’s why you were calling her for a second opinion. “But he actually seemed genuine. Surprisingly so.”

“Nope. No. No way.” She reinforces her position on it. “Please don’t make me have to do an interview on Dateline. I will not be nice. I will say ‘I told her not to go but she was dumb and didn’t listen.’ Twitter will have a field day with it.” You laugh quietly as you let your head fall against the back of the couch, staring up at the plank ceilings that match the floors.

“Fair enough,” you conceded, knowing that what she’s saying is absolutely true. “But what if I told you he was really hot?” You raise your eyebrows even though she can’t see you.

The other line is silent for a moment.

“How hot we talking? Like Tom Hiddleston hot or Chris Hemsworth hot?”

“Hemsworth, definitely.” You smile as you think about Dean’s defined features; a strong jaw covered in a few days worth of scruff and his oddly beautiful green eyes. You don’t think you’ve ever considered a man’s eyes beautiful until you met him. You also enjoyed the way his hair swooped over his forehead. It wasn’t long, per say, but you definitely could see yourself grabbing a handful of it if the time were right.

“Are we forgetting the vindictive ex-wife?” Sydney chimes in, breaking you from your daydreaming before it takes a shameful turn. “I mean, he had to do something to her to make her hate him that much.”

“I’m not trying to marry him, Syd.” You roll your eyes. “Yeah, he’s kinda an asshole, but he’s a hot asshole. And it’s not like I’m going to be around here much longer.” You only had about two weeks left on your rental, and now that Dean was starting to come around to you, the thought crossed your mind that maybe he could be that vacation fling you had been hoping to find.

“Okay, well I gotta get back to work.” You can hear her heels click before background voices filter in. You glance over to the kitchen clock; 1:31. Her lunch break was ending. “Just make smart choices, please.” Her voice pleads just a bit. You know she trusts you, but you would be looking out for her if the roles were reversed.

“Always do, Sydy. I’ll text you later.”

As you hang up, you realize that you haven’t actually gotten lunch yet for yourself. You had some cold cuts in the fridge, but considering you were supposed to be out hiking right now, you were antsy to get out of the house.

You decide it’s a good day to head back into town and grab some lunch, and who knows, maybe you’ll run into a certain mechanic. The idea has you smiling as you grab your coat and throw on your boots, not before freshening up with some quick makeup before you go. Just in case.

Thankfully, your car starts with just one easy press of the ignition, and your lips turn upward as you think about Dean saving you this morning.

A few minutes later, you’re parked downtown, this time getting a spot right in front of BILLIES. Your eyes scan the street, not seeing the tell-tale forest green truck of your neighbor.

It had been wishful thinking, but you still need lunch so you head inside.

“Afternoon, hun.” Billie herself greets you, and you give her a wave as you take a seat at the counter. This was your fourth visit now, and each time Billie had always greeted you with a warm smile and treated you like a regular, even though she knew you were leaving soon.

She drops a menu and a water in front of you.

“You know the deal.” She gives you a smirk before turning towards the kitchen. And you do. Once you are ready to order, just flag her down.

You’ve been making a point to order something new each time you visit, so today you were going with a chipotle turkey cheeseburger, curly fries, and your usual Diet Coke.

Once your food is ready, Billie drops it in front of you, but you stop her before she can hurry away. Even with a near-empty diner, she always manages to find something to keep her busy.

“Hey, can I get your opinion on something?” She nods, her hair bouncing around her as she drops a hand to her hip.

“What’s up, hun?”

“You know Dean pretty well, right?” Her chestnut eyes narrow at you.

“Sure do,” Her tone is lighter than her gaze. “Known that boy since he was a tyke. Babysat him and his brother a few times.”

Well that was interesting, you didn’t know Dean had a brother. Not that you would, but considering all your run-ins, you assumed he would have been around. Maybe he didn’t live here anymore.

“He offered to take me hiking on Mount Carmel on Thursday. Obviously I barely know him, he’s safe to go with right? Like, I don’t have to worry about him killing me or anything?” Her head falls back with a deep laugh, and her hands clap together. It takes her a moment to collect herself as her chest heaves, and she wipes a tear away from her eye. You just watch her with wide eyes as she draws the attention of the few patrons enjoying a late lunch.

“Oh, LORD, I have not laughed like that in a while.” She throws a hand onto her chest.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?” You assume from her reaction.

“Sweetie, that boy is harmless.” She assures you, a hint of laughter still in her tone. “A pain in the ass, maybe, but you don’t have anything to worry about with Dean.”

“Well that I knew.” You pick up a fry and take a bite.

“How’d you manage to talk him into taking you for a hike anyhow?” Billie asks as she rests one hand on the counter and the other finding its way back to her hip.

“He offered,” you shrug, biting into another fry as her eyebrows shoot up.

“He offered to take you hiking?” She parrots in disbelief and you nod. Her eyes look you up and down and you suddenly sit up straighter under her scrutiny.

“What?” You now feel self-conscious. You don’t know what she’s looking at or for, but heat rises to your ears and cheeks as she looks you over.

She just tsks and shakes her head, pushing off the counter.

“Just surprised is all.” She gives a small shrug as someone behind you flags her down. “Enjoy your meal, hun.”

And with that, she hurries into the dining room, leaving you confused and hungry as you pick up your burger and dig in.

Dean’s toweling off his hair, the bathroom steamed and warm from his shower, when his phone buzzes on the counter.

He clicks his phone alive, 7:02 in big white numerals above the text notification bearing your name.

He stands up a little straighter as he clicks open the text, his eyes quickly scanning your words.

If the offer still stands, I wouldn’t mind a hiking buddy on Thursday.

He smiles down at the text. He obviously didn’t know you very well, but he fully anticipated you ignoring his warning and going hiking alone today anyways.

But his shoulders drop as he realizes he’s now committed to a hike and he drops his head back.

“Fuck,” he mumbles as he tossed his damp towel in the hamper and heads into the bedroom, thinking about his response as he grabs some sweats, a henley, and a thick pair of socks, because god damn, it was cold out.

Once he’s changed, he picks his phone back up.

Consider it done. He texts back as he heads downstairs to whip up some dinner.

Dean didn’t have a lot of skills outside the auto shop, but one thing he was good at was cooking. He spent a lot of his childhood watching cooking shows with his mom as she tried to up her own ability, his early years being a lot of tv dinners and mac and cheese. By the time he was a teenager, she could pull together the most delicious pot roast and mashed potatoes you ever had. And Dean was her number one helper.

“My little sous chef.” She would call him until he begged her to stop one day when he was twelve.

The thought makes him smile, and he realizes he hasn’t called her in a while.

Once he gets out the ingredients he needs, he grabs his headphones and pops them into his ears.

“Hey Siri,” He unwraps the strip steak and slaps it down onto a cutting board. “Call mom.”

The phone rings as he heavily salts the beef.

“Dean!” His mother's excitement makes him wince as it nearly blows out his eardrums.

“Hi, mom,” he smiles, happy to be talking to her for the first time in well over a week. He tried to call her every few days, but as his divorce has been draining him mentally and financially, he’s been calling less. And at this moment, he feels really bad about it.

“It’s been a while.” She says much softer. “How are things?” The genuineness in her voice immediately eases the stress that has burrowed in his shoulders ever since Lisa left.

As he heats up and butters his cast iron skillet, he fills his mom in on happenings at the shop, Mary needing full updates on Benny, Adam, and the rest of the gang. How the divorce is going, and Dean fills her in about his guest.

“Dean,” she sighs. He knows this divorce hurts her. She had loved Lisa like the daughter she never had, and was so excited to watch her son start his life with what she thought was a lovely woman. He still remembers her heartbreak when he told her that he caught Lisa cheating and that she had left him.

“Sweetheart, is this really worth dragging on?” He rolls his eyes as he bastes the steak.

Here comes the mom lecture.

“I really wish you could just move on from all this. I know she hurt you, but Dean, how long are you going to continue giving her power over your life?” His shoulders drop as he sighs.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to move on, but to be honest, he just didn’t know how. Everything went so wrong so fast, his head was spinning like a top, and that was before he found Lisa in bed with Gavin.

“I really want you to be happy, Dean.” The break in her voice has him shaking his head. This was another reason he hasn’t been calling as often. He didn’t want his own mother to pity him.

Here he was, 32 years old, in the middle of a divorce, with nothing but a house and bitterness, while his brother was thriving.

At 28, Sam was proving to be a shining star at the law firm he started with when he graduated law school. And last month, he proposed to his college sweetheart, Jessica. His life was just beginning, while Dean’s was stuck in the mud.

“I am happy, mom.” He lies. “And I’ll be a lot happier once this divorce is over and Lisa is out of my life for good.” He carefully flips his steak, continuing to baste so it doesn’t burn. He can hear his mother’s sigh in his ears. She always knew when he was lying.

“Are you coming up to visit anytime soon?” She changes the subject.

“Actually, I’m coming up this weekend. There’s a car auction Sunday and Rick wants me to come tune up a few of his cars before he puts them on the block.”

“Oh good!” His mother’s excitement returns, and they carry on with their conversation.

Fifteen minutes later, Dean carries his finished plate to the table; seared stripe steak and roasted green beans with some leftover potatoes he had from a few nights ago.

He rubs his hands together before he cuts into the steak, humming at the perfectly medium rare center.

After a few bites, he picks up his phone, and sees he has a missed text from you stamped 24 minutes ago, while he was on the phone with his mom.

Not sure if you wake up early on your days off, but if you do, I was thinking a sunrise hike? But if not I’m happy to go anytime.

Dean purses his lips as he takes another bite, this time mixing in some mashed potato.

He Googles Thursday’s sunrise: 6:59am. The hiking trails were about 25 minutes away, and it takes about an hour to hike to the lookout. Doing the math backwards, they would have to leave here by 5:30am. Definitely a little early for his taste on his one day off this week, but he invited himself on your hike, so he was going to swallow down his own distaste for that early of a start and agree.

Sounds good to me. Meet me in the driveway 5:30am. We can take my car.

Dean’s about to put his phone down but the three text bubbles jump up on the screen, and only a few seconds later, your next text.

On second thought, how about a post-sunrise hike?

Dean smiles and lets you know that works, and you agree to meet in the driveway at 7:30am instead.

See you then. You reply, and Dean closes out the screen and returns to his dinner.

He’s not sure why, but he feels almost excited for tomorrow. Which is odd considering how much he fucking hates hiking. And though you two have been civil, he still wouldn't say he likes you. He just doesn’t dislike you anymore, finally able to separate you from the scheme Lisa dropped you into.

But Dean doesn’t dwell on it, more than likely just looking forward to a change of scenery as he takes a big bite of steak and settles into his seat.

“I can’t believe you consider this fun,” Dean huffs behind you, watching every step he takes as you transverse the mountainside. The incline is not overly steep, and thankfully the path isn’t too rocky, but the real danger is the one Dean warned you about; the ice. Thankfully you haven’t fallen flat on your ass, but you’ve definitely slipped a few times, once which had you rolling out your ankle to make sure you hadn’t sprained it only fifteen minutes in.

“No one forced you to come.” You remind him with an easy breath as you focus back on your own steps, your gloved hands resting easy on the lapels of your backpack. Not that you’re trying to taunt him while he seems to be struggling as he staggers behind you.

“You know, you could walk on a flat road.” Dean continues to complain a few minutes later, as the trees start to fall away, replaced by boulders and lingering snow patches. “I mean, really, what the hells the difference? There’s plenty of trees on the road by my place if that’s what you’re looking for.” He gripes as you turn over your shoulder, watching as he steps around an iced-over puddle.

“Tell me Dean, are you always this grumpy, or do I just seem to bring out the worst in you?” You pause and fully look towards him, dropping your hands across your chest as he takes a few more cautious steps, closing the distance between you as he steps up on a rock, the added height making him tower over you.

You’ve been at this for almost an hour, and Dean has complained almost every chance he’s had. It was very clear that he did not enjoy hiking, and it was starting to sour your morning. This was supposed to be your get-into-nature, positive energy, meditative morning hike. You had no problem taking this hike alone, he was the one who invited himself. So it was time he started acting like the guest he was.

“Must be you, sweetheart.” He grins widely down at you, his white teeth flashing, and you suck in a breath as your heart halts.

Holy shit, this man is beautiful. His hair is tucked into a gray knit hat, and his broad frame is hidden under a thick, camel hunting coat. But his eyes. Those green eyes are shining bright in the early morning sun, and they may be the most amazing eyes you’ve ever seen, on a man or woman. It’s almost unfair.

Truly, what the hell is a man as good-looking as Dean doing hiding away in this small town? Especially with the city only two hours away. He could easily be a model or an actor if he wanted to. The world opens doors for beautiful people.

“Lucky me,” you regain your composure and return a tight smile as you turn on your heel, but as you shift, your left foot slips out from under your boot and you start to fall forward, your hands shooting out to brace your fall just as two hands grip your hips, catching you.

“Warned you about that ice.” You can hear the cheeky grin in his voice as he helps you straighten up, his fingers digging deliciously into your skin through your workout tights before he lets go.

You want to shoot back a sassy remark, but you bite your tongue.

“Thank you.” You offer instead, turning towards him carefully as to not lose your footing again.

“Don’t mention it,” he smiles down at you as he pushes past, taking the lead for the first time since you started your hike, and you have no choice but to follow.

Keep Reading

NEXT TIME:

“This is weird, right?” You say to yourself once you’re back to your little cabin. Who the fuck goes on a trip with a man they barely know, to stay with his mother of all people.

Aunt Rose would. Your inner voice rings out. Hell, she would jump at the opportunity for the chance at a fun weekend at a fancy car show.

I mean, it did sound cool. You’ve never been to a car show before, not that you know much about them, but you do “ohhh” and “ahhh” whenever a nice car drives by. You can at least appreciate them. And what were you going to do this weekend? The loneliness was starting to grate at you. Turns out four weeks alone wasn’t as relaxing as you expected it to be. It was nice at first, but now it was getting boring. You’ve hiked, you’ve read, you’ve meditated, you’ve shopped. Though it sounds like the town is bustling with city tourists during the warmer months, there was not much going on while there’s snow on the ground. Really, the only thing you could think of was to head to Max’s. Maybe you could meet someone this time, and not get interrupted since Dean won’t be around.

But you know that’s not what you want to do.

Oh god, Sydney is going to murder me.

You pick up your phone and open a text.

I’m in.

Forever Tag List

@iprobablyshipit91 @likesiriusly @kittyque @findingfitnessforme @wonderange @captainemwinchester @xtina2191 @smoothdogsgirl @mogaruke @chin-up-love @tsunadesenjuuchiha @lyarr24 @globetrotter28 @krazykelly @roseblue373 @k-slla @stephv213 @kaydallas21 @nerdymuffinbonkcloud

#dean x reader #dean winchester #dean imagine #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean x y/n #dean winchester fanfiction #the guest house

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sarucane · 5 months

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Did Ed really want to die?

In a juicy spiral of nuanced psychological storytelling, I think the answer to this question is both yes and no, and so actually a it's a third answer:Ed wanted dying and living at the same time.

When Ed tells Lucius a song that goes "fingers bleeding, down to the bone now...hold on, hold on, hold on," Lucius recognizes it as a hell of a bad mental state. Lucius suggests Ed let go, and Ed says that'd be death.

Lucius then offers a third possibility: that dying won't be a death.

So Ed tries to throw himself into that. And when he actually sings, his song is the opposite of the one from before.

The stories we choose to tell reveal things about us. At the beginning of S1, Stede told a story about a wooden puppet becoming a real boy, pointing to his desire to "really live." At the end of the season, Ed's inner contradictory desires move from subtext to text through his amateur songwriting. He wants to hang on, he wants to let go and can't make himself, and "life's a hard sad death."

And then this all gets further mucked up when Izzy comes in and threatens "Edward," (who could get reborn) and says only "Blackbeard" gets to live. Ed releases his silk and throws Lucius over the side: the third options Stede and Lucius have made him drram of are out of reach.

Except then, when Ed embraces Blackbeard, he's embracing death: he paints himself up to look like a fucking ghoul.

Wanting to live and wanting to die are basically the same thing for Ed now. He's got no lighthouse to steer away from or toward (and a lighthouse is after all another double symbol, something to guide and something to avoid).

And finally we get Ed's story in S2E1, about a bird that "can't actually exist." Ed wants to live, and he wants to die, and he wants to be a bird that spends its life in the air, that exists outside of the struggles of life and death, that just keeps flying without any differentiation between where it came from and where it's going. But the bird is also a version of that third option, to live and die at the same time: It's alive and it's dead, its whole existence is in the sky and therefore it never really lives, never stops, never feels or hurts. It's everything and nothing at the same time, suspended.

And even when Ed makes a decision that should end the conflict between wanting both life and death--decides at the start of E2 that he's going to die today--he doesn't go at it directly. He tries to get Izzy to do it; he provokes the crew to mutiny, leaving repeated openings to be stopped while also plowing forward. Until, finally, the decision is taken out of his hands.

The result of all this is internal conflict manifests externally and drives the plot at the start of S2. The conflict is seeded from the beginning, as Ed reigns over violence while barely participating, moons over Stede and threatens Izzy.

And from the moment Izzy confronts Ed, knocks him out of his state of "flying," Ed does things that contradict each other. He asks the crew if "the vibe is poisonous" while pointing a gun at them. He points a gun at his own head and asks if the vibe is poisonous, then tells the truth, to general confusion. He says he doesn't feel crazy while doing something clearly crazy. He shoots Izzy, then tells Frenchie to kill him. If Ed wanted Izzy dead, he'd have chosen someone else. Frenchie isn't the type to slit a throat in cold blood, and Ed's not a moron. There was no way that was going to happen.

Or so he thinks, because then he's in the gravy basket. Hornigold represents his unconscious, his desire to both live and die: First, Hornigold saves him. Drags him off the beach and forces him to eat, to keep living. But then Hornigold drives him to despair, brings up the core crises of guilt, loss, fear, and insecurity (his dad's murder, Stede leaving) that pushed Ed down the path that led him here. And in the end, Hornigold speaks Ed's insecurities back to him. That he's unlovable, and that he's scared to do the only thing to do about it: kill himself. So he brought Hornigold to do it for him.

And then Ed's living and dying at the same time, again. He's struggling against the rope, and he is the rope hauling himself down.

Everyone needs help, sometimes.

Ed sees Stede as a merman, "Something that can't actually exist." But something Ed hadn't expected. Down here, in his darkness and unconscious, a light. And then the pros outweigh the cons by quite a lot, and he doesn't even notice when the desire for death fades away.

He isn't a bird that never touches ground: he's on the ground, he's under the water. But he is something that he thought maybe couldn't exist. A version of himself that can change.

Ed gets what he really wanted. He dies, and he lives.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #ed teach #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #gentlebeard

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callsignmercy · 1 year

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The voicemail - Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin.

Prompt: Jake calls you to tell you he still loves you after ten years.

Words: ~2.5k

Warning: slight mention of death but nothing serious.

Note: I’m sick and I feel like shit so I wrote a shitty piece. I don’t like this and probably will edit it later but anyway here it is. Please don’t copy of repost my work. English is not my first language so apologies for the easy vocabulary and bad grammar.

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The voicemail went like this: “Hi it’s me. Uh it’s uh- it’s Jake. Seresin. I don’t know why I’m calling really… I think I just wanted to hear your voice. It’s been so long since I’ve heard it… I’m sorry we broke up. Truth is, I should never have done it. I should have known that I would never stop loving you even after all these years. But you might have moved on since then, and if you’ve found someone else I’m happy for you really. Forget I ever called, it was a mistake. We’re going on a top secret and insanely difficult mission for Top Gun in a few hours and truth be told I’m terrified. I wish we could’ve had more time together but those few high school years were worth it because you were there with me. I should have never made that stupid decision of leaving you when I got into aviation and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me. Anyway I don’t have much time and I’ve been drinking a little so, forget I ever called. Another thing I shouldn’t have done. Anyway, bye.”

Jake Seresin, whom you haven’t talked to in about ten years after he broke up with you when he joined the navy just called you to tell you he shouldn’t have left you? What the hell is happening?

You were trying to understand what came through his mind to gather up the courage to call and confess to you after so many years, and just hours before probably dying.

No but how dare he? Seriously! You were fuming. Admitting his love for you after a decade like it was nothing while casually telling you he might never come back?

But who were you kidding really? Of course you loved him back, you never stopped thinking about him actually. Even after ten years he was still in the back of your mind. But anyhow, how dare he break your heart like that? You contemplated calling him back but decided against it. You didn’t want to ruin his mission which he said could potentially be fatal. Oh God. You couldn’t dare think about the love of your life potentially dying.

Suddenly you jumped on your feet, packed a few clothes and took your car keys and drove away. After all Miramar was only two hours away…

When you woke up in the late morning and listened to his voicemail you knew he had already left as he had called the night before but you decided to go anyway. Wait for him. Wherever.

You arrived at Miramar in the late afternoon and stopped at a navy bar to get something to drink.

“Hi, what can I get you hun?” The bartender said. “A coke please.” You replied. “I’m Penny by the way. Did you come for the holidays?” “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. Actually it’s a spontaneous and maybe incredibly stupid decision that I took about two hours ago for someone that will probably never show up here.”

Penny seemed confused. “What do you mean?” She asked. “An old boyfriend of mine, like ten years old boyfriend called yesterday to tell me he regrets breaking up with me and also casually said that he was going on a mission that he could probably never come back from. He’s a pilot for the navy by the way. And so I don't know why I decided to come here to see him even though I know they’ve already left.” “Yes they left this morning.” She replied and your head shot up to look at her. She had a sad smile on her face. “I rekindled with an old boyfriend of mine too that flies for Top Gun and so he told me he might not come back. They left this morning.” She explains.

“And how do you manage something like that? What do you do?” You ask. “The best thing is hope. You know Top Gun pilots are the best in the world, you just have to trust that they’ll succeed and come back to you.” “And what if he doesn’t? What if he never knows that I came here for him, that I still love him?” Tears were slowly making their way up but you fought them, not wanting to appear vulnerable in front of a total stranger. “Who is it you’re waiting for?” “Jake Seresin. You know him?” She smiles. “Yeah I know him, he’s cocky but he’s a nice guy and I’m sure he’ll come back, especially if he didn’t get an answer back from you, I swear he’ll come back to get it.” You laugh at her answer. “Do you know how long they’ll be gone?” “No idea, Pete didn’t tell me. But I’m sure they’ll come here as soon as they come back stateside.” “Can you recommend a place to stay while waiting for them?” “You’re going to stay in Miramar?”

“Well I can’t possibly go back home and come back here every single day.” “You’re right. Well, there’s a motel not far from here if you want, or if you’d like you could help me here a few hours a day and in exchange you could sleep on my couch. Your pick.” “Well, It would sure occupy my days to work a little, rather than hoping and stressing all day.” “Then it’s settled, you’ll start tomorrow.” She smiles and you smile back.

“So tell me about you and Hangman.” Penny asks the next day as you were working together. “Hangman?” You replied. “Jake. Hangman is his callsign, they get one when they become pilots.” “Why Hangman?” “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him I guess.” “Sure. Well Jake and I used to date in high school, we met when we were both freshman and dated until after we graduated but he broke up with me when he signed up for the navy.” “Why?” “He said he was leaving for a long time, that he didn’t think a long distance relationship would work. I cried for days.” “I can understand. Pete and I were just hooking up from time to time back then but when he came back a couple of weeks ago I felt things I hadn’t felt in a long time. It took a while for me to let him back in but now we’re happy and I can’t wait for him to come back.” “ I’m genuinely happy for you Penny.” “Don’t worry, Jake will be really happy to see you too I’m sure.” “I can only hope so.”

After a few days, Penny decided that she wanted to go on a little holiday with her daughter Amelia and left you in charge of the bar. The night wasn’t really busy so you handled things well, serving up patrons and cleaning up tables, hoping yet again to see a certain man come through the doors of the bar.

“So you’re telling me that you left your high school sweetheart a voicemail saying that you still love her and you should never have broken up with her and in the same sentence telling her she can forget about you ‘cause you’ll certainly die?” “Yes Phoenix, for the hundredth time, I did it and I don’t know why I did it.” That voice sounded rather familiar to you and you froze on the spot, not believing your ears. “Well Hangman, let me tell you yet again how stupid you are.” “Thank you Phoenix I think I’ve heard it enough. I’ll probably never see her again anyway so you can stop talking about it now.” Jake sighs and they all head for the pool table. You watch as Jake walks, talking with the woman named Phoenix, still not believing that it was really him in front of you after so many years.

“I’ll get the first round.” Phoenix says. “Hi, what can I get you?” You ask her. “I’ll get seven beers please. Are you new? I’ve never seen you here before.” “Yeah, I started working here a few days ago. I’m Y/N by the way.” “Natasha, pleasure to meet you Y/N.” You smiled and handed her the beer and started a tab for her.

“Well Jake, if you want to forget all about your stupidity and the high school sweetheart you’ll never see again, there’s a new cute bartender, I’m sure your southern charms will work wonders on her.” “No thanks Phoenix. I’m still going to wait for an answer from Y/N and if she doesn’t I’m going to call her while being drunk again and demand that she answer me.” He replies ironically. Phoenix tilted her head when she heard you name come out of Jake’s mouth. “Well the girl at the bar said her name was Y/N so you might want to check if that’s your Y/N first.” Jake frowned and looked at the bar only to see you, serving drinks to the men on the other side of the bar. His face dropped and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of you after so many years, looking more beautiful than ever.

Phoenix bit her lip in excitement seeing Jake’s face and understanding what it meant. “Oh I love seeing love happen.” She whispers to her wizzo next to her.

Jake didn’t know how to react to seeing you after so long. He might have frozen for a few minutes before Rooster gave him a slight push to force him to go to the bar and talk to you.

He gave the pool stick to Rooster before walking awkwardly toward you. He gets to the bar as you turn around and you stop right then and there.

“You came.” Jake said matter-of-factly. You shrug. “You called.” You replied.

“What are you doing working here? Where’s Penny?” He asks, still not looking away from your eyes. “It’s a long story. How did you avoid death?” You ask. “It’s a long story.” He replies.

“Did you really come here for me?” He asked, hopeful. “I’m waiting for an actual explanation. For why you called me after ten long years to tell me you should never have broken up with me and why you scared the shit out of me by telling me you were probably going to die.” “I’m sorry I did. I just realised that it was the right thing to do, to tell you how I felt and hopefully you’ll feel the same.” “After ten years?” “Yeah well, I never stopped loving you, never stopped thinking about you, never stopped hoping we’ll meet again and nothing happened so I decided to take the matter into my own hands and call you to tell you everything.”

You looked at Jake for a few seconds before being called up at the other end of the bar to serve some people. You think about what Jake just said to you while doing your job. After a few minutes you wipe the bartop and sigh before turning back toward Jake, still a hopeful look on his face looking at you.

“Look I think about you all the time, I’ve got a photo of us constantly in my flight suit and in my cockpit. I constantly think of you when I’m up there. I don’t want to leave this world without knowing what you really feel. That's what keeps me from dying and helps me come back every time. I’ve never stopped loving you and if you want to take me back I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you.” “I’ve waited ten years for you to come back, Jake. I’m not going to let you go again.” You say with tears in your eyes. “God I love you so much baby. I’ll do this right I promise. I’ll take you on dates and tell you how much I love you for the rest of our lives and I’ll marry you baby. Right here and there.” You chuckled. “Just shut up and kiss me Seresin.” He smiles from ear to ear and leans in to kiss you tenderly.

The voicemail went like this: “Hi baby. Today is the day and I can’t wait to marry you. I’m so thankful you came back into my life and I’m so thankful you put up with my shit for so long. I love you so much and I’m sure there’s still so many things waiting for us. I love you forever baby.”

You smiled while listening to your fiance/soon-to-be-husband’s voicemail.

Jake had made a habit to leave you voicemails for key moments in your life for you to save and still hear his voice whenever he left for a mission.

“Thanks for our first date. I really had fun with you tonight. Thank you for agreeing to take me back, thank you for still loving me even though I was a total dick with you ten years ago. I can’t wait for all the things we’ll do together.”

“Hi babe. Today you agreed to be my girlfriend again after all these years and I thank God everyday for you. I swear I never thought I’d see you again and even less that you’ll agree to take me back. Anyway, I love you. That’s all I wanted to say.”

“Today we moved into our first house together. Our very own home. Everywhere you are is home for me anyway but being able to wake up next to you every morning will be heaven on earth for me. I can’t wait to decorate it all with you. I love you baby.”

“Jake why are you calling me? Just leave it baby I’m leaving you a voicemail. Oh it’s already on, okay. Hi baby. I’m whispering because you’re in the other room and I don’t want to spoil the surprise for you. I’m about to ask you to marry me. After all, we've been together a while. Plus four years if you add our high school years together. Anyway, I love you so much I hope you’ll say yes. And then we’ll have a beach front wedding like you’ve always dreamed of. I love you so much I could marry you with paper rings but for you I gave it all and I hope you’ll like the diamond better. I can’t wait to put it on your finger. I love you baby.”

You were about to marry the love of your life. In about an hour you were going to call him your husband. And the truth is, you couldn’t wait. But you had one more thing to do before saying yes.

“Hi Jake. For the first time I’ll be the one leaving you a voicemail. You leave me voicemails for me to listen to whenever you’re away from me and I thought I should do it too because a photo of us in your cockpit doesn’t really do the job does it? Well here I am. And I’ve got something to tell you. Soon, I won’t be the only one you’re going to call baby. I checked this morning and I’m pregnant, Jake. You’re going to be a dad. I hope it’ll make you happy. I love you Jake. Forever. I can’t wait to say yes and spend my life with you baby.”

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j0elmill3r · 1 year

Text

isn’t it lovely?

Pairing/s: Ellie Williams x Miller!Reader, Joel Miller x Daughter!Reader, Tess Servopoulos x Daughter!Reader (Brief)

Request: Ellie x Miller reader ANGSTTTTT lol

Ellie finds out that the reader lied to her about what happened with the fireflies and ignores her? Just like Joel, but instead of Joel going golfing the reader does, or maybe they both I don’t know lol THANKS🫰

Summary: Ellie regrets being so cold and harsh towards you after finding out the truth about what happened at St Mary's Hospital.

CW: Angst, heart break, character death, Abby's golf skills are incredible

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Here we go, another fic were Miller reader goes golfing!

My Masterlist

You knew why Ellie wasn't talking to you - You had lied to her, betraying the trust that was crucial in your relationship; You had a feeling you deserved it, but you did what you did to protect her, to save your at the time 'best friend'.

You panted as you ran through the hospital, clutching your gun tightly as your feet smacked off of the linoleum flooring, the flashing red lights illuminating the halls of St Mary's hospital. Following the trail of bodies left by your dad, you made your way up to the room where they were operating on your best friend, deciding to take the backdoor, you nudged it open, just as your dad did at the door opposite you.

"Unhook her." Your dad demanded, aiming his gun at the surgeon in front of him. You looked over, noticing Ellie lying on the operating table, various machines beeping beside her, all sorts of wires coming in and out of her.

"No, I won't let you take her," The surgeon said to your father. No. You couldn't let this happen, you wouldn't let them take away your best friend, not today, not ever. Acting quickly, you shot the two nurses standing beside you in the chests, swiftly jumping to your feet from your crouching position. The surgeon had no time to react before you fired a shell into his head - Joel looked over at you, you couldn't tell if he was scared of you, or for you.

"Dad," Joel hugged you wordlessly, placing his chin on the crown of your head for a minute before turning to Ellie. "What do we do now?" You looked up at him, fear evident in your eyes. Joel sighed, looking at Ellie and then at you.

"We leave, go back to Jackson and stay with Tommy," You nodded, however, you couldn't ignore the feeling of guilt which bubbled in your stomach - the emotion was obviously clear on your face, since you could make out from the little light provided in the room. "We tell her that there were other's like her, okay? Now come on, we need to move. You shoot if you have to, understand?" You mulled the thought over and nodded, you hoped that you'd never crack if Ellie asked you - As bad as it sounded, some memory loss at this moment in time didn't actually sound too bad. It didn't make sense, you had come all this way for nothing - You watched your mother die for nothing, watched as Sam and Henry both died, been through the whole David situation with Ellie, had that all been in vain?

Sighing, you followed your dad - Just as you knew that you always would.

"Ellie, come on," You followed your girlfriend as she grabbed her stuff from your room, shoving it into her backpack harshly. She had found out about the hospital and what you and Joel had done. "I don't know what you want me to say, Els." She huffed, stopping shoving things into her bag as she stared you down.

"You lied to me, Y/N. You fucking lied to me," She spat. You looked away from you, unable to meet her harsh gaze, which you ultimately knew you were deserving of. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you, or your dad. I don't wanna talk to you for the time being, understood?" You nodded, tears filling your eyes as you looked away from her.

"Okay," Your voice broke as you spoke, still unable to watch as Ellie made her way out of your room. "I love you." You told her, your heart breaking as she just walked away wordlessly. You sighed in acceptance, realising that you had fucked up majorly this time. You watched through your window, making sure that Ellie got away safely.

In the days after, you noticed Ellie getting closer with her friend Dina, who you knew had recently broken up with her boyfriend, Jesse. Dina was gorgeous, and you saw the way that Ellie looked at her, she used to look at you the same way. But you and Ellie hadn't officially broken up, and you knew that Ellie wouldn't cheat on you, right? Maybe, not so right - Joel had dragged you to the small gathering in the church, which unbeknownst to him, Jesse, Ellie and Dina were attending.

"Dad, this is so stupid, I'm fine," You tried to convince him, furrowing your eyebrows and pouting as your dad chuckled.

"You haven't left the house in 4 days, you needed air and to talk to other people," Joel smiled, trying to get you to reciprocate the gesture - It however, didn't happen, since you were focused on the fact that Ellie and Dina were now locking lips - Thanks to Ellie's initiation.

So, this was why she had been ignoring you for the past 4 days. She had been planning her relationship with Dina? Your mind spiralled, had she been with Dina the whole time? Were you the other girl? Did she ever actually love you? Your stomach dropped, your heart cracking in two as the two girls pulled apart, you put your drink down on the table beside your dad, Joel looking over and realising what had upset you so much. "Baby girl." He called out for you, watching as you left the church. Ellie and Dina looked over to the doors which you stormed out of, and then looked over to Joel as he came over to them.

Joel loved Ellie as if she were one of his own - but you were his baby girl, and he couldn't stand by and let Ellie get away with hurting you like that.

"What?" Ellie asked him, her tone as if she were offended by Joel's very presence. Joel scoffed and raised his eyebrows at the girls audacity.

"Seriously? You do this to Y/N and you have the audacity to act like this? I know that you're not happy with her, but you never broke up with Y/N," Joel seethed. Dina excused herself and made her way back over to Jesse, who walked away from her - their relationship, similar to yours and Ellie's, had barely ended, and now she was here kissing Ellie. "I thought you were better than that." This time it was Ellie who scoffed, shaking her head at Joel.

"Really? That's really fucking ironic, Joel, since all you and Y/N did was lie to me for 5 years. I thought you were better than that," She spat. Joel sighed, he thought Ellie was being too harsh on you. You were still a child at the time, you just wanted to do good by your best friend and your father, you did what you did to protect Ellie just as he did - But he would take all of Ellie's anger towards you and take it himself, he would do it to see you happy with her again, but after this, he was unsure if he would be able to see you happy again. Joel shook his head and walked away from Ellie, saying goodbye to Tommy and Maria, and that you and him would see Tommy tomorrow for your patrol.

You grunted as you were thrown to the floor, your dad and uncle Tommy forced into the same position as you. The room was cold and dark, illuminated only by the soft white glow of the falling snow outside - You looked up at the girl in front of you, she couldn't have been much older than you were, but she was taller, more muscular. She looked down at you, anger in her eyes as she met yours but quickly looked away, making her way over to your dad, who sat by the window, a torniquet around his leg.

"Joel Miller," She seethed, crouching down in front of Joel.

Oh.

Oh, fuck. You knew this girl - She was in the hospital when you rescued Ellie, you heard her crying out for your father when you were clearing out the floor for supplies, which you had insisted on doing since you were the smallest and quietest, meaning you were less likely to get caught - Her dad was the surgeon you had killed. Your breathing picked up as you saw her pick up a golf club and inspect it, looking at it and then at your dad.

"Stop! I know why you're doing this," You called out, all eyes turning to you. "I killed your father in that hospital, not my dad." You told her. Joel's heart stopped - Were you trying to get yourself killed?

"Get her over here, get him down there." Abby demanded. You struggled and grunted as you were picked up by two strong men.

"Don't you fucking touch her!" Joel yelled out as he was held down, watching as you were punched in the face, near enough knocking you out. Heaving, Abby turned to Joel, looking down at him with the same golf club still in your hands. "I'll kill you if you lay a fucking hand on her, you hear?!"

"You don't get to rush this, old man," She said through gritted teeth, watching as Joel struggled in vain. He watched in trepidation, his heart pounding against his chest, the dull ache in his temple becoming stronger and stronger. He watched as Abby let out a grunt, swinging the golf club down onto your head, cracking it open with a sickening thud.

"No!" Joel cried out, watching as the spray of your blood stained the window behind you and you fell to the ground, groaning quietly. "I'll fucking kill you! I promise!" Joel threatened her, watching as she continuously kicked you in the stomach, then in the head to add insult to the crack in your skull.

Ellie followed the sound of Joel's screaming and threats down the stairs, gently opening the door - Her heart stopping at the sight in front of her. You lay on the ground, your head and face in a pool of your own blood, a woman standing in front of you holding a golf club which Ellie assumed she had used to crack your skull open.

"Y/N?!" She cried out, not caring about the others in the room. Abby turned to look at Ellie, and then looked at her crew.

"Pin her down," She instructed them, turning back to you as you lay on the floor, able to make out the form of Ellie, even as she struggled, you weakly smiled, your shallow breathing being the only sign of your fading life.

"No! Y/N!" Ellie cried out for you. "Y/N, please get up!" She begged, over and over she begged for your life to be spared, just as your father did before Ellie's arrival. "Please, please don't do this." Ellie pleaded with Abby, hoping that the girl would have a last minute change of heart.

But Ellie's hopes were crushed as she watched Abby raise the golf club above her head, and strike it down onto your head, delivering a fatal blow to your skull.

"No!" Ellie and Joel cried out at the same time, both noticing your blood dripping from the golf club. Abby tossed the golf club aside with a huff, sparing a glance at your sobbing father and friend as they made threats to end her life. Tired of what she assumed to be empty threats, she had Owen knock the two out so the group could move out and head off away from the scene, leaving you on the floor to continue bleeding out.

Ellie rubbed her eyes as she lay the flowers down at your headstone, guilt flooding her as she sat down cross-legged in front of your grave. Since your small funeral, Ellie had gone to see you once every day, the first day was when she forgave you for lying to her - She now realised that you were still a kid then, just as she was, you just wanted your dads approval so did whatever he thought was best. She also apologised for the ordeal at the party, but guilt constantly gnawed at her, she hoped that you hadn't died thinking that she didn't love you - Ellie loved you so much, but she was just so angry that it blinded her.

Despite her daily visits, Ellie couldn't find the words to speak to you - She also couldn't face Joel, but no one had seen or heard from him in the days since your death, his grief had consumed him entirely. At least there was one thing that could comfort Joel, that you were back with your mom.

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newtonsheffield · 3 months

Note

we need to see bodyguard au Kate and Anthony on their ski trip for spicy Sunday!! Plsss! 😂

Okay, this one’s a little less sad than the last one. I feel like I owe it to them

This was what she’d imagined. Well, almost? Or nearly? Truth be told she hadn’t had any idea what it would be like to actually be able to hold someone’s hand in public. She hadn’t even thought about it, in fact she’d been nearly affronted by it when James had stood in front of her, his hands on his hips.

“You’re never going to ask them are you?!”

Kate had blinked at him, her boyfriend of years “Ask who what?”

“You’re never going to ask your parents to acknowledge me are you? Or take me to events or anything?!”

“James, please can we just not have this conversation?”

“Are we ever going to have it?”

“I don’t know.” Kate had crossed her arms and tried not to let her voice wobble, “Do you actually want me? Or do you want what it will get you?”

He’d stared at her for a long moment before he let out a frustrated growl, “This was so not fucking worth it. You need to grow the fuck up, Kate. Stop caring what Appa thinks of you.”

“Oh fuck you!” Everyone around them had turned to stare and he’d pushed back through the crowd as tears had started to cloud her vision.

“Princess.” Anthony had said gently, his hand on her arm. “Would you like to go home?”

She hadn’t been able to do anything but nod. Anthony had surprised her when he’d shrugged off his jacket and held it out to her.

“In case you want a little privacy.” He smiled a little sadly as he crouched in front of her, his muscles flexed giants the white of his shirt and the holster of his gun. “Want me to run after him and fight him?”

Kate tried to chuckle and she ducked her head under the cover of his jacket. “No, thank you, Anthony. You’re sweet.”

“That’s my job, your highness.”

She’d let more tears fall as she sat in the back of the car and she’d said what she’d been thinking for far longer than she’d like to admit. “No one’s ever going to love me just for me are they?”

But Anthony had. Anthony did. despite the fact that she was the reason he had nearly died, Anthony did. And she’d stood in front of her father and mother with Anthony’s sweatshirt on. She’d inclined her head in a small bow.

“Appa, have the dramatics of yesterday gotten to you? The throne room seems a little formal. I’m surprised you’ve not got your crown on.”

“I told you.” Mary sighed from her place on a chair set apart from her father, “Are you alright, Darling?”

“I’m fine, Mumma.”

“Kate, this isn’t something to laugh about.” Her father said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How long has this been going on?”

Kate had tried not to look away from him, “A few months.”

“How many months is a few, Katie?” He’d only looked tired.

“Six.” She’d muttered, her eyes sliding to the floor, “It’s been six months.”

“Six months?!” Her father spluttered, “Jesus Christ Katie!”

“Well it just sort of happened Appa!”

“Oh to just happened? For six months it just kept happening?!”

“This doesn’t sound like the calm, rational conversation we discussed.” Mary sighed, kissing her daughter’s cheek, “He’s handsome, sweetheart. And so brave, I really should send him some-”

“Mary, please!”

“Well, we agreed we’d be supportive, Tharman! One of us needs to be! This is our child!”

“I’m trying very hard! Katie, why wouldn’t you just tell me?”

She’d felt those same, inadequate tears then and it had tasted bitter even when she’d said it. “I have lived my entire life for this country and I’ll live the rest of it for it as well. Just like you have and your parents did and their parents.”

“Katie.” He sighed, “I’m sorry. I know how difficult this is-”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, Appa! I’m happy to do it. I just… I finally had something for myself. All I wanted was this one… I just…I knew if I told you about him that it would be over and I just wanted to keep him. I love him and he loves me. Not this person just… me. And I wanted to keep him. Is that so wrong?”

Her father’s smile was a soft little thing, “Then your mother’s new little heartthrob has a decision to make.”

It seemed so surreal in the first few days of their relationship as they tried to fumble through Anthony’s first awkward meeting with her father, and his mother’s barbed remarks that had cut a little closer to who she was worried she was deep down. But it had grown into something beautiful between them, when it was allowed into the sunlight. It was nice to have someone’s support, to be able to support him the same way when he came home tired and frustrated from physio with his arm back in its sling.

“Shower?”

Anthony nodded slowly, “Yeah. It was… fucking hard today. Am I supposed to celebrate the fact that I can lift my arm a centimetre? and that might be all I ever get?”

“Anthony, that’s amazing.”

He let out a half smile, “I was lying, it was half a centimetre. I just wanted you to be impressed with me.”

Kate gasped, reaching under her shirt to tug off her underwear, “Mr Bridgerton, I’m very impressed, my knickers just flew off.”

He shook his head, bending at the knees and hoisting her over his good shoulder. “I had better do something about that then, Princess.”

She loved being Anthony’s partner. She loved their playful back and forth and the way he smiled when he saw his younger brothers and sisters. She loved everything about him, everything about the way they walked around with their fingers intertwined and he ducked his head so she could nudge his sunglasses into place so he wouldn’t have to let go of her hand. Even this morning he’d been so adorable, sweating nervously in the snow as he fidgeted with his helmet And it had been nice to not worry who saw them when they kissed in the snow and walked back to their cabin. It was nice now, sitting on the sofa in front of the fire, bundled up under a blanket, his arm around her waist, lips on her neck.

“This is nice.”

Anthony chuckled, “Baby, I’m not moving to Switzerland. Even though I’ve definitely mastered snowboarding now. I’ll probably be in the Winter Olympics soon. You might have trouble holding onto me when the… board…bunnies see me.”

Kate gawped at him, “What the fuck are board bunnies?”

“I imagine that’s what women who fawn over us extreme sports guys.”

Kate laughed, turning to face him properly, enjoying the way he leaned into the touch of her fingers throw his hair. “Oh you extreme sports guys, hey?”

“Yeah,” Anthony sighed, leaning back, “Me and Josie just ripping up the slopes.”

Kate nodded, moving to straddle him. “You and Josie? Josie who’s been skiing since she could walk? Josie whose mother is literally an Olympic Slalom Champion? You feel you’re on the same level?”

Anthony sighed, “Well, I’m the best in my class, I have to imagine we’re the same.”

“I love you.” Kate sighed, leaning in to kiss him gently. “You’re silly.”

“Very silly,” Anthony chased her lips with his, “Wanna be my board bunny, Princess? I’m willing to put you on the roster early

Kate rolled her eyes, “Go on then.”

He leaned forward to claim her lips again, his hand warm on her thigh as his tongue swept over hers slowly. It was so different from how it had been the first few times between them, where his zip had been pulled down and his hand had cushioned her head against the back of the door as their hips slammed together desperately.

The tension built between them slowly now, both of them revelling in it. The way his tongue moved over hers and his hand slipped over her body, tugging at her clothes. She loved the way their bodies fitted together and his skin was warm when it slipped against hers, the warm muscles of his chest under her fingers.

His hair was so soft against her fingertips when his lips fell to her neck and her hips started rocking against his.

“God, get on the fucking rug.”

Kate chuckled, kissing him once before she slid off his lap and shimmying out of her underwear before she lay on the rug. His body covered hers almost instantly his lips firm and hot against hers and his hand nudged her knees further apart as his lips trailed down her body, his tongue tracing patterns against his skin and she could hardly breathe for the look in his eyes. They were burning into hers as he looked up at her from between her legs, his voice rough.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Princess.”

“Oh fuck.”

It choked from her throat at the first touch of his tongue and her hips bucked up towards him and she felt his lips curve in a grin against her. “Greedy tonight.”

The fire was so warm beside them and the fabric of the rug was soft against her back as her fingers slipped into his hair and anchored him against her. The way his tongue moved against her was almost sinful and she could feel herself moving closer and closer to the edge with every second that past between them until she was dangling over the edge, so close she could taste it.

“Not yet.”

Kate let out a moan at the loss of contact as Anthony sat up, grinning at her. He looked so handsome in the firelight with his hair mussed from her fingers and his eyes dark. The scars on his shoulder and chest made him look even more so, a reminder of the fact she’d nearly lost him, what he’d been willing to do for her.

“I hate you.”

Anthony leaned over her, letting his lips brush hers agin, forcing her to taste herself. “No you don’t Princess. You fucking love that I’m not like those stupid little lordlings that tried to impress you all the time don’t you?”

She felt herself nod against him, their tongues intertwined and her hips rocked against hers, desperate for friction.

“Turn around.”

She could hardly do it. Her knees already felt weak as his hand guided her to roll over, her back pressed against his chest. He didn’t make her wait. Anthonys’s hips snapped forward and Kate felt her eyes roll back at the feel of him. The feel of them.

Anthony let out a moan behind her and his hand gripped her shoulder, his thumb pressed against the back of her neck, guiding the sharp movements of their bodies. It was almost too hot with the fire burning so close to them and the burn in her muscles and the desperate way she was slowly being set on fire, just for him. She could feel her entire body tightening already as he rocked against her, his muscular thighs pressed against the backs of hers, and she could feel his fingers tightening against her skin the gasps and moans she was drawing from his body reverberating through her own, mingling with the broken sounds of his name that she could manage.

“Come for me, Kate.”

That was all it took. The rough sound of her name torn from his chest sent her falling over the edge with a sharp shout of his name, falling forward onto her forearms. Anthony’s hips bucked roughly against hers, the movements growing more erratic. once, twice, a third time and he fell apart with a stuttered moan, the moment stretching on and on until he fell forward against her, pressing her into the rug.

“I’ll move in a second.” Anthony murmured against her, his voice sleepy and satisfied as he pulled her closer, his lips kissing her as he gasped against her cheek.

“It feels nice.”

Anthony reached up and grabbed the blanket from the sofa, “Let’s sleep here. Think we can take this rug home?”

“Who’s liking being rich people now?”

“I like it a little bit.”

“You know,” Edwina hummed as she sat across from Kate at breakfast the next morning, watching Anthony walk off towards his lesson. “I think you’re supposed to catch up on sleep on holiday.”

Kate rolled her eyes, chuckling as Anthony watched Josie explain something as they headed towards the ski lift. “I’ve decided to take the route where we just fuck on a rug that’s going to be following us home.”

Edwina gaped a little disgustedly, “What the fuck did you do to the rug?”

Kate smirked “Oh you know, you’re a fellow board bunny. Gotta do what you gotta do.”

Edwina leaned forward, “Am I supposed to know what the fuck that means? Is it gross? Is it not? Do I want to do it?”

#bodyguard au #spicy sunday🌶️#kathony #anthony x kate #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony bridgerton #molly’s asks and answers

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avis-writeshq · 1 year

Text

DETENTION — Damian Wayne

inspired by ‘detention’ by melanie martinez

a/n: HELLAUURRR!! returning with a damian wayne fic, how typical of me hehehe >:D i actually wrote + worked on this fic for a while now, maybe two months ago? so i'm glad i've been able to post it!! i haven't edited it that much aside from the times i had to reread it to continue writing, so if there are any issues, lmk!!

tw: guns, stalking, kidnapping, s3xual assault, blood, psychopathic tendencies (not by reader or damian), arson, prayer talk, if there’s more lmk!

rating: 16+ for mature themes, coarse language, and mutual pining

wc: 6k

“Morning, Damian!” You smile, waving in greeting as you fell into step beside him. “Did you finish the maths homework?”

He nods, muttering a quiet greeting before fishing his exercise book out of his bag. “Of course I did.” He relishes in the way your eyes lit up as you grabbed the exercise book, quickly turning to the current chapter you were on. “How are you never able to do your homework on time but–”

“– But you’re the one protecting Gotham, yes, Damian, I know.” You roll your eyes as you finish his sentence, having heard the ‘lecture’ one too many times. “I was busy providing sanctum to the sad citizens of Gotham through cheese, garlic, and tomato.”

Damian was well aware of your job at Maria Pizzaria, one of the best pizza places in all of Gotham, and he was happy that you were enjoying your job — even if it did mean you couldn’t do any of your homework for the next day.

“Alright, hurry up and finish your homework,” he says, chuckling at your frantic scribbling. “What time did you sleep last night, anyway?”

You groan, not ceasing your writing as you respond, “you don’t want to know. Ms Sanders decided to give me a one-thousand-word essay to complete, so estimate on that.”

Silence settles between you for a few moments before you snapped the books closed with a grin. “... and done! Thanks, Damian, you’re a lifesaver – literally. Oh! Did you hear about the new student? Her name’s Lilith, I think. I’m surprised you didn’t tell me about it earlier.”

Strangely enough, the name didn’t seem to ring any bells in his head. Maybe this student was incredibly new, but it’s weird that he hasn’t heard about it from his role as vice president.

“I actually wasn’t told about any new students,” Damian remarks as the two of you enter the classroom.

“That’s… weird.” Your brows furrow in confusion. “Did you turn up to all the meetings? Read all the emails?”

“Who do you take me for, of course, I did,” he huffed, taking his usual seat beside you in the centre of the class. “I never heard anything about it.”

You hum, taking in his words with full confidence that he was telling the truth. If there was one thing Damian never did to you, was a lie (aside from when he hid the fact that he was Robin from you – but that was on Bruce’s call, not his).

“Alright class, can I get your attention please!” The teacher claps their hands with a broad smile. “Everyone, we have a new student today! Lilith, why don’t you introduce yourself?”

A girl, mousey looking with dark brown hair with blonde ends, piercing brown eyes, and she looked innocent enough. Just your average high schooler. But her eyes seemed… off. It was almost like she wasn’t all there. At least, it looked like that to you. Nevertheless, you were never one to judge a book by its cover, so you quickly offered to show her around the school.

Lilith, as the girl was named, took the offer happily, saying in her thick Maine accent, “thank you, Damian. Oh, and Y/N.” Which you thought was weird, seeing that neither of you have introduced yourselves yet, but you figured that if she talked to the student council, they must have mentioned the both of you at some point.

“No problem!” You smile, but Damian was unmoving, his eyes narrowing at Lilith and you notice the way his jaw clenches. “Damian…” You hiss under your breath, “welcome the new student.”

He doesn’t say anything, instead choosing to nod in acknowledgment. He moved his seat so that it was almost as if the two of you were sharing a table while Lilith sat in front of you.

“Anyway,” You turn your attention back to Lilith who was staring a bit too hard at Damian for your liking. “I can show you around the school after class. Can I see your timetable?”

“Sure,” Lilith pushes her glasses up, digging into her bag. “Here you go.”

You read through her timetable, humming and nodding at the subject choices. “I have a few classes with you! That’s good, I can show you around then as we head to class. What do you think?”

“Is Damian coming with us?” She asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh…” you falter, trying to ignore the small stab in your heart the statement made.

“I’ll be there,” Damian cuts in quickly, and you don’t miss the way he brushes his pinky with yours from under the table.

You notice how her smile widens at his announcement, and you shift awkwardly in your seat. There was one thing you knew for sure –

***

“I don’t like her,” you announce to Damian over the phone, “she seems sketchy.”

“What happened to ‘I never judge a book by its cover’?” Damian snorts, and you hear a page being flicked in the background. “But, I do agree.”

“Maybe she’s just nervous,” you say, more to yourself than to him as you move to sit on your bed. “I mean, she is at a new school. Maybe she just feels awkward about it.”

You can practically hear him nod as he reads his book. Today was one of the rare times he didn’t have a patrol. Instead, Dick decided to take his place, saying that ‘a kid like him needed some down time’ which, to be fair, you couldn’t deny.

“I agree with you,” Damian says before continuing, “give her a few days though to adjust. We can see her true nature then.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” You say, eyes glancing at the digital clock that was glaring at you from your bedside table. “Sorry. You’re probably tired. You go get some sleep – you always sleep past midnight.”

“Coming from you that means nothing,” Damian remarks, and he laughs when he hears you groan in frustration. “Okay, I’m going to bed soon. I just have to change Titus’s litter box and finish the physics homework Mr Daven gave me.”

You grin at his words, “imagine taking physics. And you’re supposed to be the smart one.”

“Why do you think I’m taking physics?”

“Shut up.”

You hang up on the phone a few moments later, falling backwards on your bed with your back against the pillows. What you didn’t know – and who would have thought – were two brown eyes who stared into your window.

***

“I didn’t know you work here.”

A familiar – albeit, annoying – voice enters your ears and you do your best not to cringe. Lilith seemed to be following you everywhere. The mall, your classes, your hangouts with Damian, and now here. At Maria Pizzaria. When you saw her at the doorway, you felt the bile in your stomach begin to rise.

This has been happening for weeks now and you doubted that it was a coincidence. Damian understood your worries, saying that he’ll do a background check on this so-called Lilith Hart-Stone. So far, nothing. He did checks on her family, on her previous schools, on her life in general and it all points to one thing: completely and utterly normal. Even still, you couldn’t shake the uneasiness you felt every time she walked into the room. Damian would do his best to reassure you every time saying that she was ‘harmless’ and that he ‘wouldn’t let her hurt you if it came to it’.

“Aneko can you take her order, please?”

“No problem, do you mind sending this over to table 5?”

You nod, wordlessly taking the margarita and pepperoni pizzas to the table. You feel a sinking feeling in your chest, and you really hope that this ‘bad feeling’ is just you being paranoid.

Your shift continues, long and dragging, throughout the night until 10:30PM sharp. Grabbing your bags and leaving through the back alleyway exit, you make your way to the main street.

“So, you really do work here.”

You flinch, spinning around to meet eye to eye with the one and only Lilith Hart-Stone, the very person you were told not to worry about. Her hair was put into two messy space buns, and an eerie grin stretches across her face. She reminds you of someone – some anime character or something – from the way she’s dressed. It’s nothing too crazy or abnormal: just her school uniform with her skirt rolled up a few times too much so that it rests a couple of inches above her knee. Even still, she looks weird. Scary, even, and you remind yourself to be on your guard.

“What about it?” You ask offhandedly, taking a step back. Bad move.

The twisted look on her face seemed to grow, and you do everything you can to not show fear, but the look on your face must have translated what you were feeling.

“Oh, come no, Y/N. No need to be aggressive.” She giggles, high-pitched and jarring, and it takes everything in you to not cover your ears. “Don’t worry, Y/N. It’ll only hurt for a minute.”

And before you could question it, you feel a harsh blow to the back of your head, and everything fades away into yellows, greys, and blues. The last thing you see before fully slipping into unconsciousness is the evil glint in her brown eyes as she steps toward you.

***

Damian doesn’t see you the next day in school. He waits outside the school gates well into the first period, and when you don’t arrive by the second class, his stomach doesn’t settle. Lilith didn’t come to school either, he notices, and he feels the burning in his chest worsen. Something was wrong – very wrong – and he pulls his phone out to call his father. Bruce answers immediately, knowing full well that Damian never calls during school hours.

“Father, I fear something happened to Y/N.” Damian is running now, away from the school, ignoring one of the teacher’s cries of disapproval. “It might have something to do with Lilith Hart-Stone–”

“Talking about me, are we?”

Damian spins around, his eyes meeting the sinister eyes of the girl he was just enquiring about.

Bruce asks through the phone, “Damian, what is going on?”

But he doesn’t respond. Instead, he focuses on the girl in front of him. The mousey, innocent-looking girl who didn’t seem to pose a threat. But, of course, nothing is ever as it seems.

“What did you do to Y/N?” He demands, eyes narrowing to slits as he slips his phone into his pocket.

“I’m insulted that you’d think I’d do anything to little Y/N.” She smirks. “Not that you’re wrong.”

Damian clenches his jaw, balling his hands at his side, ready to strike. His tone is dangerous as he demands, “What did you do to her?”

“Temper, temper,” she cackles before clicking her fingers, the smirk on her face never fading.

In an instant, two men are at Damian’s side and he twists around to land a sharp punch to one of their faces, and a harsh kick to the other’s torso. The men retaliate accordingly: one aiming for Damian’s head and the other aiming for his side. ‘They’re amateurs,’ Damian scoffs to himself, jumping out of the way and landing a blow on one of their necks, effectively knocking him out. The other man was not happy over the fact that a kid – even if he is almost 18 – knocked his partner out in the time span of five minutes, and aimed for another blow to Damian’s head. But Damian was quicker, and smarter, too. He grips the man’s fat wrist, pulling him down and socking him in the nose.

Easy. Too easy. Something was amiss. Then he feels it. He swings around, just in time to dodge another attempted blow to his head, but not in time to dodge the knee that hit his stomach.

Damian chokes, falling back on impact, his school bag as a cushion. The one who hit him in the stomach takes a hold of Damian’s collar, punching him across the face (finally landing the blow), before pinning him to the floor, face first, while another man pins his legs to the ground. There’s no escape.

Lilith fishes his phone from his pocket, eyes flashing with excitement. Bruce, on the other end, is chanting, “Damian? Damian?” To which she responds with pure malice:

“Damian is a little busy right now. This is Lilith, by the way, but I’ll call you back soon. See you, Batsy!” She hangs up.

“What do you want?” Damian asks from the floor, cheek scraping against the gravel with each word. “Unhand me!”

“I don’t think you’re in the position to be making demands, little bird,” Lilith squeals at her own words before nodding to the men. “You know what to do.”

Damian feels the pressure on his legs leave, and the man who gripped his collar lifts him one more time, and he takes in the smell of chemicals on cloth.

***

The cold air whips Damian’s face as he awakes, his eyes blinking as they adjust to the bright city lights. It is dark now – around 7, Damian figures – and the bright city lights flash in his view. Lilith stands over him, grinning ear to ear. It is only then that he realises the situation he is currently in: wrists chained to a pole on the roof of some skyscraper, and you sat in front of him, seeming to be in the same position.

“So the little bird finally decided to wake up after all.” She shrieks with delight as his eyes open.

Damian grits his teeth as he fights against the metal chains. “What are you trying to do?”

Lilith hums sadistically, playing around with the gun in her hands. “You know what? I’ll amuse you. I’m doing it because I’m in love with you.”

Her words make him sick. His stomach churns and he tries not to gag. She thought that he’d be in love with her too? After all the stunts she’s pulled? What kind of person did she think he is?

“I know, I know… ‘I don’t even know you’ and all that.” She rolls her eyes, flicking her dyed hair over her shoulder. “But what you don’t know, my love, is that I know plenty about you – everything – about you. I know what time you go to sleep, what your hobbies are, how many pets you have, all your brothers, and where you came from. I know the exact route you take to get home, I know your favourite food, your secrets, everything.”

She lets out an almost sad sigh as she says, “I just don’t know how you feel.”

“That’s an oxymoron,” Damian scowls, eyes narrowing to slits, “and I feel disgusted.”

Lilith laughs, and the sound is like nails on a chalkboard. “My naive little bird. I mean… physically.”

She’s close to him now, her face was in front of his and their noses are almost touching. Her free hand tiptoeing up his chest. He pulls away, baring his teeth in retaliation.

She scoffs, “you put me on too low a pedestal, Damian, while you make her out to be an angel. Tell me, Robin, why is that?”

The boy spits back, “Someone like you could never understand.”

She scoffs in surprise. “Don’t tell me… you’re in love with her! Big, bad, Damian Wayne – Robin himself! – is in love with poor, little, Y/N.” Lilith laughs a manic, psychopathic laugh, and Damian suppresses every feeling of wanting to lash out and yell. She continues, “and to think of all the trouble that could happen if this little… scandal came out.”

Damian doesn’t hold back as he tries to lunge at her in anguish, the cold metal chains digging into the flesh of his wrists. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, but I would,” she smirks mockingly, and Damian watches in horror as she lifts your chin with the barrel of her gun. “Y/N was so nice to me, too… but she’s the one who’s taking you away from me.” Her eyes flash dangerously, “But if I can’t have you, no one can.”

She drops your chin, and Damian sucks in a breath of relief – at least now he had a little time to come up with a plan. His father should be here any minute, but she’s armed and dangerous. She has two hostages, himself and you. There’s a fire escape on his left, but it seems to be barred and chained, preventing any sort of escape. Damian swears silently to himself. He should have seen the signs. He could have prevented all of this but he didn’t. He knows exactly what you would say to him if you heard him – “it’s not your fault” and “you couldn’t have known”.

Lilith chuckles darkly, “you should see your face! Your look of regret…” With a powerful swing, the hilt of her gun made contact with the side of Damian’s face. “Pathetic,” she muttered, and Damian watches as she checks her watch, a sinister smile stretching across her face. “Oh don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. I just have to get your father’s permission to be yours.”

She snorts, “not like it matters! You’ll be mine either way – especially if you value your life.”

His eyes widen, Father. Of course, all his father was doing was buying him some time. He watches as Lilith skips away, swinging the gun haphazardly as she leaves the rooftop. Now was his chance. Pressing a button on his watch, letting out a breath of relief at the feeling of the machine turning on, preparing for usage. Seconds later, he was free from his bonds, and he shook out his wrists, muttering quietly to himself, “thanks, Pennyworth.”

He rushes over to you, shaking your shoulders in an attempt to wake you up. “Come on, Y/N…”

A quiet, almost inaudible, groan squeezes past your lips and Damian’s heart relaxes. He got to work at your bonds, and they gave way relatively easily – the chains that were wrapped around your wrists were rustier than his. You fall forward into his arms, shaking you awake, and you grunt in discomfort.

“Damian…?”

“Y/N…” He lets out a breath of relief, helping you up to your feet as you massage your temples. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” You mumble, clutching your head as you adjusted to the bright city lights. “What’s- what’s going on?”

The boy pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, his gaze shifting to the barred fire escape. “You remember your friend Lilith?”

Your expression changes with the blink of an eye. “She did this? Are you okay? What did she do to you? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” He says gently, brushing some hair out of your eyes. “But that’s the least of our worries. We have to get out of here.”

“Damian, wait. You have to know what I heard.” You let out a breath, catching his arm. “When she knocked me out, she didn’t do a very good job at it. I went in and out of consciousness and- and I could hear everything.”

“What are you talking about?” Damian demands, holding your arms as he searches your eyes for an answer. “What do you mean?”

“She’s going to set the whole building on fire. She’s going to–” the words get caught in your throat and you shake your head in disbelief. “She’s going to burn us alive. Damian, there are people in here – civilians.”

The vigilante freezes at your words as he processes the severity of the situation. How many people could be in this building right now? There are around fifteen stories, from what he could tell, but it was already past the average working hours. Maybe five on each level? That’s still seventy-five people inside the building. He had no way to contact his father – Lilith and her lackeys decided to take his phone – and from the looks of it, you didn’t have anything on you either.

From down below, he could hear the commotion of police officers with their loud sirens and bright lights. One of them was holding a megaphone, ready to state their claims, while firetrucks and police officers readied themselves if anything were to go wrong.

“We need to get out of here and evacuate everyone,” Damian says, eyes flitting from the locked door and the officers on the ground. “I’m going to jump off the building.”

Your eyes budge out of your head at his words, snapping your head to look at him so quickly you got whiplash. “What do you mean you’re doing to jump off the building?”

“There’s a hose next to the fire escape, we’ll use that. It’s bound by a metal fire reel and you’re going to hold onto it. I’ll scale down to the floor below us and break the glass. Then I’ll open up the fire escape.” He lets out a breath, blue-green eyes looking at you intently. “(Y/N), can you do that?”

“I-” you stammer, head reeling with the fact that you needed to support Damian, an almost 18-year-old who was mostly muscle and reached six foot two last Tuesday. “I- I don’t know, I’ve never–”

“(Y/N).” He says your name in a way you’ve never heard him say it before; with a softness and a kindness that sounded strange coming out of his mouth. “You can do it.”

You exhale, eyes shifting from the ground, to the hose, and finally to him. “Okay.”

He smiles, and you can tell it’s meant to be reassuring, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Okay.”

In moments, he’s attaching the hose to his belt loops and you’re testing the strength of the hose. The thick plastic is enough to give yourself a heart attack – what if itsn’t stable? What if it breaks? What if it unties? – but you have faith in Damian. He’s Robin; he can do this. You can do this.

“On the count of three,” Damian says carefully, standing on top of the balcony wall.

“One…” He tightens his hold on the hose.

“Two…” You widen your stance against the brick safety wall that separates you and the 150 feet fall.

“Three!”

He begins to fall, and on his command, you grip the hose as tightly as possible, your feet digging against the wall. You feel him come to a stop and your heart lurches as you feel the pressure sink into your stomach.

“I’m going to swing now!” You hear him yell and you wonder how his voice doesn’t waver.

“Okay!” You scream back and your grip tighter.

He swings, and you can feel weight of the hose shift with each movement. You’re praying now, you don’t know who’ll hear you, but you’re praying that he’ll be okay.

Once, twice, three times he swings and finally, the fourth time you feel him swing back towards the building you hear a shatter. The glass gave way. He’s in the building.

You’re still gripping onto the hose just in case until you hear him call, “I’m in!”

The adrenaline is still pumping through your body, and you release the makeshift tether, collapsing backwards onto the harsh floor of the rooftop. ‘He’s okay,’ you repeat in your head, trying to calm the quickening pace of your heart. ‘He’ll be here soon. He’s going to evacuate everyone then we’re free. We’ll be okay. We’ll be okay, we’ll be okay, we’ll be okay…’

The rattling of the lock on the fire escape snaps you out of your thoughts and your heart quickens in your chest. ‘Please, please, please…’

Your gaze doesn’t shift from the door, begging to whatever higher entity there is that it’s Damian. And when the red metal door finally swings open so that your eyes meet with blue-green ones, you’ve never felt more relief in your life.

“You’re okay.” You breathe, and you shake as you get back onto your feet, stumbling towards him. “You’re okay, you’re okay…”

He chuckles, reaching out and bringing you closer to his chest. “I’m okay. You did good.” His lips brush against your forehead and you can feel the tears in your eyes begin to fall. “You did really good.”

He pulls away from you, his gaze softening and he cups your face in his hands, swiping his thumbs over your cheeks. “We have to get out of here. I don’t know how long father can stall her for.” He pauses before continuing, “are you okay?”

You nod, head still spinning and heart still pounding in your chest. “I’m okay.”

“Let’s go.”

He doesn’t risk using the elevator, instead choosing to run down each flight of stairs and ordering for everyone to leave before the building to erupts into flames. The loud screams of the workers fill your ears as you continue to go down each floor of the skyscraper, but when you finally get to the lobby, everything seemed to be eerily quiet.

“There’s no one here…” you pant, hands on your knees as try to catch your breath. From the corner of your eye, you can see the civilians running outside and being questioned by the police. Luckily, all were safely escorted outside while you and Damian trailed behind just in case someone was forgotten.

The crashing of a vase makes you whip around behind you, only to be met with the sinister eyes of Lilith herself. She lets out a strangled scream, her hands pulling at her hair as scrunched up her face. Her breaths heavy and her eyes narrowed dangerously into slits, she whips the gun from her belt, pointing at the two of you.

“You!” She screeched, hands trembling. “You little bitch. You always want to make my life miserable!”

Damian pushes you behind him and you know what he’s really trying to say. Get out of here. But you know better than to leave him here by himself.

“Always getting in my way,” Lilith rattles on, glaring at his actions. “Always acting as if you’re better than me. Well jokes on you! This building is going down, and you’re going down with it!”

“Lilith, let’s talk about this…” Damian says slowly, and he side eyes the exit. “You don’t have to do this.”

Another scream of anguish escapes from the girl, and she fires a shot into the air, hitting the ceiling. You jolt at the sound, eyes widening at the hole in the roof.

Damian’s gaze darkens. “Drop the gun, Lilith.”

“I have to do this!” She screeched, hands trembling. “The building is about to catch on fire anyway! Burn in hell!”

“Lilith, you don’t need to do this!” You try, “we can–”

She lets out a laugh at your words. “There is no ‘we’ in this equation! And you’ll never understand because you get everything you want in life! So shut the fuck up!”

The sound of something exploding from the floor above you makes you jump and you feel your heart jolt in your chest. Damian’s hands find yours as another explosion sounds. Bigger this time, and Lilith’s lips stretch to a wide grin. Smoke begins to billow from the doors and so does the fire. Another bang! on your left near the exit, and it promptly lights up with reds and oranges. Waiting area is quick to catch flames and the smoke fills your nose and lungs.

“Ooh, it’s almost done! A few more explosions to go! You know, I thought you were going to be on the roof by the time I was done, so I rigged the whole thing to start at the top floor but…” She trails off, swinging the gun around again before meeting your eyes, “now I can watch you burn.”

Damian scoffs and he pushes you towards the exit. You start running just as he speaks, “Over my dead body.”

Lilith shrugs, lifting the gun and aiming it directly at the Wayne heir. “That could be arranged. But…” the smirk returns. “I’d rather kill her.”

“Wait-”

She doesn’t. Instead, she points the gun at you and fires. You try to move, you try to get out of the way. Your mind is screaming at your legs to do something – anything – to avoid getting shot. Damian is running after you, trying to take the bullet, but it’s too late.

A searing pain burns through your abdomen and you press a hand to where the pain sits. Crimson stains your shirt and you look up. Your head is spinning and a metallic taste settles in your mouth. You stumble backwards, just in time to fall into Damian’s strong arms. A sharp beeping sound starts screaming in your ears along with Lilith’s loud cackling. In a quick movement, he picks you up and starts running out the door, only for the building to erupt in flames seconds later. Black spots line your vision and you see people in dark blue uniform surround you. Damian is yelling something, you can’t make sense of it, before he presses his forehead to yours.

“You’ll be okay,” you hear him whisper, “I’m so sorry.”

You want to ask, ‘what are you sorry for? It wasn’t your fault.’ But as the noise starts and you feel someone take you away from him, the only thing you can do is close your eyes.

***

“Thank you…” you mumble, taking the glass of warm water from Alfred.

He smiles in return, “of course, Miss (Y/N). Let me know if there is anything else you require. I understand it must be difficult to be here.”

Your current situation involves one of the many spare rooms at Wayne Manor after your surgery, and despite how loud the manor usually was on your visits, the area Alfred placed you in was all too quiet. In fact, you would think that the entire family was avoiding you – best friend included.

“It’s okay. Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“It is our pleasure to have you here,” Alfred responds graciously, and you know he isn’t lying. “I’ll have Miss Barbara change your bandages tomorrow if that is alright. Ring the bell if you require any assistance.”

“Thank you, Alfred. And you know you can just call me (Y/N) right?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “I am aware. However, I believe that calling you Miss (Y/N) is more suitable.”

With that, he bids you adieu, and you’re once again left to your own devices. The silence of the room has you shivering despite the warm cup in your hand. The books you half-finished lay haphazardly on the bedside table, and the tv on the other side of the room deemed itself to be useless when you’ve watched every good Netflix show in the past two and a half weeks.

You glance at the clock; fifteen past one. You would usually be asleep at this time, but it hasn’t always been easy. The pain medications make you drowsy, sure, but the feeling of sleep doesn’t wash over you like it once did. Before Lilith.

The newspaper sits on your bed, the front cover bearing words you so desperately wanted to read. ‘The perpetrator who kidnapped the youngest son of Bruce Wayne alongside local teenage girl pronounced dead in skyscraper fire’. To you, those words released the weight from your shoulders. You didn’t have to be scared anymore. You shouldn’t have to be scared anymore. But you were. No one in the Wayne family, except for Alfred and Barbara, have spoken to you since the incident. To be fair, Dick was in Bludhaven and was probably still caught up in his work to even notice what was going on in Gotham. Jason hasn’t been to the manor in a while doing some sort of undercover mission. Tim was with Stephanie on a mission (to Greece, of all places!) while Cass came and went as she pleased. But out of all of them, you would have at least expected for Damian to show up – even if it was just for a moment.

The quiet creaking of the door lulls you out of your thoughts, and your eyes widen at the sight of the person in front of you.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. Neither do you. But like everything, the silence must be broken.

“You should be asleep,” Damian says curtly, stepping out of the doorway.

A scoff exits your voice. “You shouldn’t have to wait for me to fall asleep to visit me.”

He flinches at your tone, a tone that you’ve never taken with him, and he closes the door. “I didn’t think you would have wanted to see me.”

Anger replaces your faux disappointment and you shoot him an icy glare. “I was knocked out, kidnapped, almost a victim of arson, shot, and you don’t think I would have wanted to see you?!”

You throw the covers off of you, stumbling as you stepped over to him. “I almost died, Damian, and you didn’t think I wanted to see me best friend?” Your chest aches and you can’t tell if it was from the gunshot or from your heart. “You thought I didn’t want to see the person who went through the same thing as I did?!”

You jab a finger at his chest, tears falling down your face, blurring your vision; you can’t see his reaction. “I saw you jump off the fucking roof! You jumped off the roof and- and-” you swallow the lump in your throat. “You could have died! We could have died and you avoided me! I haven’t seen you in weeks, Damian! You could have been dead for all I know! And the last time I saw you was the second before the doctors took me and-”

He gently brings you into his arms, effectively rendering you speechless with surprise. With his arms wrapped securely around your waist and his nose against your jaw, you wonder if this really is the same Damian you knew before the incident.

“I’m so sorry,” He breathes, pulling away to look you sincerely in the eyes. “This never should have happened, I– (Y/N), I failed you.”

“You didn’t fail me–” he scoffs in protest but you continue, “–you saved me.”

He shakes his head adamantly, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them again. “You shouldn’t have needed saving in the first place. You got hurt out of my own inadequacy and my own misjudgments. You got shot because of my incapabilities and foolishness. None of this should have happened.”

“No.” The word comes out harsher than intended but you speak nonetheless. “Lilith fooled everyone. It’s not your fault she did what she did. And you saved me, Damian. You saved so many people that day. Without you, none of them would have made it out of the building. We wouldn’t be here right now. You got us out of that mess – a mess that you didn’t make.”

He’s quiet for a moment, gently leading you to your bed to sit down and he sits besides you. He dries your tears with his thumbs, cupping your face gently with his palms as he does so.

“You shouldn’t have to look at a failure.”

“Dames, you’re the furthest thing from a failure.” You rest a hand over his, gently stroking the back of his hand with your thumb. “You’re a hero.”

You press your forehead against his and you feel him lean into your touch. “I love you.” He whispers, not an ounce of shame or guilt or embarrassment in his words. “I love you so much.”

You smile, your heart bursting in your chest at his words. “I know. I love you, too.”

reblogs are always appreciated!!

no hate to people who have the name lilith 😭😭

#damian wayne x reader #damian x reader #dc x reader #batfamily #robin x reader #batman x reader #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #tw arson #tw assault #tw sa mention

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