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#It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way.
kyouka-supremacy · 3 months
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#This is about the last thing I could have imagined happening to me but.#A girl just slid what pretty realistically is a love letter under my door and. I really don't know what to do about it#God. I like her a lot but I also really just love her as a friend??#I don't. I have no idea what to reply because on one hand if I said something like#“yeah every second we spend together is precious to me too I love you <3 ” I would probably. Definitely come across wrong#But at the same time I can't just reply coldly I don't want to be rude. I do enjoy the time we spend together.#I just feel that if I don't reply with the same love and dedication I will come off as rude and make her sad and I really don't want to#But also I'm like. 100% sure I'm not into her romantically#It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way.#She spent words of admiration on me I really feel like I can't own you know.#She seems to look up to me a lot and I don't think I should be looked up to at all.#“You're a wonderful‚ very strong‚ and intelligent person” HOW DO YOU EVEN REPLY TO THAT.#“Uh I disagree but you're entitled to your opinion”... ?#Thank you?#This is. Ugh. I'm really not fit for this kind of stuff.#I LOVE exploring characters being in love and putting them in awkward ridiculous situations that make them miserable.#I HATE to be in such situations#As if exams weren't enough. How do I deal with that#Posting this just in case anyone has genuine advice btw. How do you reject a girl you actually like a lot#And how should I even write her back. Because she said to and I'm the WORST at writing back#Sis this is stressing me off so much. I want to dig a hole and disappear in it. I'm not getting out of my room for the next six months.#(For context we live in the same students dorm)#random rambles#I'm so distressed right now this is the absolute worst.#Like I was pretty fine with where we were at but now I feel like I really don't want to spend time with her again for a long time.#Deleting this soon hopefully
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serpentandlily · 7 months
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Untouchable II - Azriel x Reader
Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister! Reader ✨
Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court's spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he'd eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on-with Elain, your brother's mate's middle sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that - more complicated than you ever imagined.
Warnings: angst
➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V
➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII ➻❥ Part IX ➻❥ Part X
a/n: Thank you all so much for all the love on the first part of this story! If you want to be added to the tag list, either comment or message or send me an ask :)
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Part II
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
The minute you guys winnowed into the foyer of the River House, you were nearly tackled to the ground by your own brother. He spun you in a circle, greeting you as if you’d just come back from a war or something. You couldn’t help but giggle at his huge overreaction.
“You act like I’ve been gone for years,” you laughed.
“It felt like it,” he replied, giving you what you assumed was his best impression of a sad puppy dog—an odd sight to see on such a powerful High Lord.
He had barely set you down when you were scooped up into someone else’s arms. Luckily Cassian wasn’t as dramatic as your brother. He pulled away to hold you at arm's length, taking a sweeping glance down your body. 
“You’ve lost some muscle mass and what is this you’re wearing,” he chided in a teasing, affectionate tone. “Are you even still part of the night court, y/n?”
A scoff sounded from behind the General and you peeked over his shoulder to see Azriel standing there, his arms crossed. “She’s only been gone for three months.”
Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him and you quickly pulled your eyes away, ignoring the strain in your chest. You jokingly shoved Cassian away from you. “I’m gone for three months and the first thing you say to me is that I’ve lost muscle? Can take the boy out of Illyria but not Illyria out of the boy.” 
“Damn right,” Cassian said proudly as you stepped around him, finding the rest of your family lounging about in the sitting room. “Besides, do my letters to you not count as talking?”
You rolled your eyes before giving Azriel a smile. He dipped his head in greeting, his eyes trailing over your form, but made no move to embrace you like the other two. 
“You wrote letters to Cass and Rhys,” he said. “But not to me? I thought I was your favorite.”
“Rhys demanded I write to him. And Cass wrote to me first.” You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. 
A muscle ticked in his jaw when he met your eyes again but he said nothing else so you brushed past him, squeezing him on the shoulder as you did, determined to not let his presence squander the confidence you had built up these past months. 
As soon as you stepped into the sitting room, a baby was pushed into your arms. You smiled at Feyre, pressing a kiss to her cheek in greeting and happily accepting to hold Nyx, your nephew. “It’s good to see you, y/n. Being on the continent has done you wonders. You look beautiful.” 
“Thank you, I’ve been immensely enjoying my time there. But I missed you too, Fey,” you replied with a wink before hoisting the baby further up in your arms to snuggle against his head. “And Gods, I missed you, little one.”
“He missed you too, you know.” You looked up at Rhys who was leaning against the back of the chair Feyre had plopped down in. “You’re the only one who knows how to make him laugh when he’s in one of his moods.”
You saw his words for what they truly were - ammunition. A way to guilt you to stay. The sad part was it kind of worked. If there was anyone you’d drop everything for, it was your nephew. “I think you guys did just fine without me.”
“Some of us did,” Amren piped up. “Others wouldn’t shut up about you. ‘What do you think y/n is doing right now?’ ‘When do you think she is going to come home?’ ‘Send me to the continent to check on y/n.’” She mocked, glaring at your brother. But then her glare shifted to the shadowsinger who gave her an unamused look. Your cheeks turned pink. Had she been including Azriel in that…  
“I’m glad you’re finally spreading those wings, girl. It’s about time,” Amren continued, pulling you from your thoughts. 
“Anyways,” Mor cut in. “Are you going to tell us what is so important that you dragged me and your sister back for?”
“I will, during our family dinner,” Rhys said. “We’re still waiting for Lucien.”
You couldn’t help but glance at Elain, who looked just about as uncomfortable as you did. It wasn’t that you specifically had anything against the fox. But he had been the close companion of the male who was the reason your mother was dead, the reason you had almost lost your wings and your life that fateful night. It made it hard to be around him without thinking of Tamlin, which brought back those painful memories. 
Conversation turned normal after that and you tried to keep your eyes away from the shadowsinger. Instead you listened to Cassian and Nesta talk about the improvements the Valkyries had made in the three months you were gone. You promised Cass that you’d go to training with them tomorrow morning. 
Lucien finally showed up and the small party was moved to the dining room. You took a seat next to Cassian and your heart nearly froze as you watched the redhead enter and make his way towards the empty chair next to you. You clenched your skirt in your fist but before he could take it, Azriel cut in front of him and claimed the chair as his. 
You gave him a small, grateful smile. He nodded and you turned away as Elain sat down next to him. Great. Perfect. Now you’d have to listen to them all night. Perhaps the fox would’ve been a better choice. 
Dinner was served and you poked at your food. Your proximity to the shadowsinger made your appetite minimal. You leaned your head against Cass’s shoulder, taking comfort in him. Cassian had always felt like a second big brother to you. And he treated you as such. 
“Come on, sweetheart,” he murmured to you, stacking more food on your plate. “You’ve got to eat if you’re going to come train with us tomorrow.” 
Nesta rolled her eyes from next to him and you covered your grin. You were about to reply when Rhys stood. The room quieted when he cleared his throat. “Feyre and I have invited you here tonight for a reason. Would you like to do the honors, darling?” He tilted his head to her and she stood, smiling.
You couldn’t help but melt at the sight of your brother and his mate. You were so happy he finally had the life he deserved. Feyre placed her tattooed hand on her stomach and your eyes widened, a gasp escaping your mouth as you realized what this announcement was.
“I’m pregnant again,” she said, pure happiness in her voice. “With a little baby girl.”
Cheers and shouts erupted around the room but you were the first to jump up and hug Feyre. You couldn’t stop smiling as you let her go to be embraced by the others, taking your brother in your arms instead. 
“Congratulations,” you whispered in his ear. “I’m so happy for you, Rhysie.” 
“I can’t believe it,” he muttered back. “Another baby. In less than two years.”
You felt claws scrape against your mental shield. 
We’re going to name her after mother. We’ve already discussed it. 
You pulled back with shock, looking up into his eyes to make sure he was telling the truth. Tears lined his eyes as he nodded at you. A small cry broke from your lip as you hugged him again. When you finally composed yourself, you let him go so the others could have their turn with him. You stood off to the side, wiping your tears.
You were so distracted that you didn’t even notice the male who fell into place next to you. “Are you alright?” 
You looked up at Azriel who was watching you with concern in those beautiful hazel eyes. You nodded, clearing your throat. “They’re going to name her after our mother. After Selene.” 
Azriel’s eyes widened and then he glanced at your brother, a small smile on his lips. You know how much Azriel and Cassian had loved your mother too. Had felt the loss of her all the same. You sucked in a breath and wiped away any lingering tears. 
Azriel looked back down at you, his eyes searching your face. Part of you wanted to use your daemati gifts, to take a peek inside his head, to see what he was thinking. But you would never cross that line. 
“You’ve got make-up,” he said, gesturing towards your face. “Here.” 
You went to wipe it but he grabbed your hand. “Let me.”  
He conjured a cloth napkin in his hand and gripped your chin with his other gloved hand, tilting your face up at him. Your eyes widened at his touch and you froze in place, your breath caught in your throat. He dapped at a spot on your check, just below your eye. 
You hated the effect he had on you. How his scent wrapped around you, his mere presence clouding your mind. Hated how you wished to step closer to him. This wasn’t the first time he had done something as intimate as this with you but those moments were far and few between. 
He was surprisingly gentle as he wiped at your face, his hand never leaving your chin even as his other fell back to his side. He stared down at you with an indiscernible emotion and your eyes bounced between his. Part of you wished this small moment would never end. But wishing and praying had never done you any good and the moment was over before you knew it. 
“Y/n? Are you okay?” Elain had made her way over to you and Azriel dropped his grip on you like your skin had burned him. You swallowed harshly, looking at the girl who had captured his heart in the short time she had been here. 
“I’m okay, Elain,” you replied with a little dip of your head. “Just a bit emotional is all.” 
She smiled at you and you wished more than anything that you could hate her. But you couldn’t. She had only ever been sweet to you. Only ever wanted to be your friend. “I can’t believe we’re about to have another baby around here. You’ll have to help me set up the nursery for Feyre again, y/n!”
“Of course!”
Elain’s hand rested on Azriel’s bicep and the sight made the dinner you had just eaten churn in your stomach. You needed to get away from them. It hadn’t been long enough. You hadn’t been away long enough to get rid of these stupid feelings. You glanced back at Azriel to find him still looking at you. You mustered up the will to give them a parting smile before dipping away. 
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Feyre and Rhysand had called it a night after some time celebrating but Mor had declared the night wasn’t over. At least not for you two. You hadn’t hesitated to agree to go to Rita’s—ready to let loose after having to deal with the heartache of being near Azriel and Elain. 
Cassian and Nesta decided to come as well. And then to everyone’s surprise, Azriel had also said he’d come which made Elain shyly say she’d come as well. Just when you’d thought you’d have a moment of relief, the Mother had decided to spite you again. Perhaps she was just trying to drill home the point that Azriel would never be yours. 
Mor passed you another shot glass and you chugged it before even asking what was in it. All you knew was you wanted to be drunk—and fast. You were squeezed between Nesta and Mor in the large booth your group occupied. 
Your eyes flicked to the other side of the table. Azriel and Elain sat there, both sipping on their drinks. Neither of them looked comfortable and you wondered why they even bothered to come. 
“I wanna dance,” you slurred, pouting at Mor. You shoved at your cousin to let you out of the booth and she chuckled, moving out of the way. 
“Take Mor with you, sweetheart.”
Nesta elbowed Cassian in his side. “She’s not a little girl, Cass.”
“She’s fine on her own,” Mor bit, backing up Nesta. “Besides, we can still see her from here.”
You missed the disapproving glare Azriel threw at Mor who rolled her eyes at him. The alcohol had finally taken effect, making you feel carefree. You let the music take over as you pushed your way into the dancing crowd. 
For once you basked in the attention you were receiving and when you felt large hands wrap around your waist from behind, you didn’t falter like you might’ve before. You glanced up to see a high fae male smirking down at you. He was handsome with brown eyes and shaggy blonde hair.
You gave him your family’s signature feline grin and decided to just go with it—anything to get the shadowsinger out of your mind. 
“Don’t,” Mor growled at Azriel as he went to stand up, his eyes locked on you and the male. Cassian watched with an annoyed frown. “Let her have fun. She knows how to handle herself.” 
You were oblivious to the two disgruntled bats at the table though. A few more songs passed before the male grabbed your hand and leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Come. Let me buy you a drink.”
You smiled and let him drag you to the bar. His hand slid to your lower back as you watched him place an order for both of you. He turned to hand you the drink the bartender made and his eyes widened as he looked at something over your shoulder. 
Your brows furrowed until that familiar scent hit you. 
“Leave us,” Azriel growled at him from behind you. 
The male glanced between the two of you. “Sorry, I didn’t know she was here with someone.” 
“I’m not here with him.” You crossed your arms, annoyed. The male’s eyebrow quirked up in amusement, looking back at Azriel.
“Well, it seems like the lady doesn’t want you here, pal,” he said. “So why don’t you leave us?” 
A sliver of fear crossed his eyes as Azriel took a step forward, his hard chest pressing into your back. “Get lost,” he snarled, his voice pure ice. “Now.” 
Your mouth dropped open as the male scurried off this time, evidently not wanting a confrontation with the shadowsinger. You whirled around to see Azriel glaring down at you. You pushed him away with a hand to his chest. 
“What is your problem?!” 
“My problem?” he snapped back at you. “That male was clearly going to take advantage of you. You should be thanking me for scaring him off.”
“Why the hell should I thank you! He wasn’t taking advantage of me. I wanted to be with that guy.”
“And he probably just wanted to use you to get close to Rhys for power or money—who knows.” 
You felt a dagger pierce your heart at his words, at his unflinching cold stare. “Right. Because no one would ever want me for anything else. No one might ever just be interested in me and not my connection to Rhys.”
“Oh don’t be naive, y/n,” Azriel said, coldly. Your mouth dropped open, tears started building in your eyes at his cruelty. But then anger finally started to rise, overpowering the hurt.
“Just because you don’t desire me like that, doesn’t mean other males don’t as well! I am not a child anymore, Azriel. I know exactly what males want from me and I also know what I want from them. So do me a favor and leave me alone.”
You chugged the drink in your hand before slamming the glass on the counter.
“Y/n, that’s not what I—”
You turned away, not wanting to hear anything else he said. You couldn’t bear anymore hurt. All you wanted to do was go somewhere else. Somewhere he wasn't so you could unleash the tears stinging your eyes. 
His cold hand grabbed your wrist and whirled you back around. “This conversation isn’t over,” he bit out but you shrugged yourself out of his grip. 
“Yes it is,” you ground out through your teeth. “In fact, instead of sticking your nose in my business, why don’t you worry about your girlfriend’s.”
“My what—”
Azriel turned his head to follow your line of sight back to the booth you had all been sitting at before. Elain sat there alone, Mor likely dancing and Nesta and Cassian probably off making out somewhere. Some guy was leaning against the table talking to Elain, who looked incredibly uncomfortable. 
You didn’t wait to hear Azriel’s response, using the distraction to storm off and disappear in the crowd—your first night had officially been ruined.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
The last place you wanted to be today was the House of Wind, but you had promised Cassian and Nesta you’d show up for Valkyrie training and you knew one of them would come looking for you if you hadn’t. You could feel Azriel’s eyes on you from across the training ring but ignored him, keeping your focus on Cass. 
“Alright,” Cass said, clapping his hands together. He had just led you guys through a series of exercises and you could already feel some sweat dripping down your back. “Let’s move on to sparring. Pair up and get started. Y/n, you’re with me today! Got to get you back up to speed.”
You made your way to Cassian but were intercepted by Azriel stepping in between you two. “I’ll take over her training. The new girls need more help.” 
Cassian raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged and walked off, leaving you alone with the shadowsinger. You clenched your fists, not at all happy with having to work with Azriel today when you wanted to avoid him. You were still upset with the way he talked to you last night. 
“Come,” he barked, not even looking at you. “We’ll take the back corner.”
He strode off without even making sure you were following. You let out a puff of air. Great, he was in that sort of mood. 
As soon as you were within range, he tossed you a training sword. You barely caught it, taken off guard. 
“Let’s see how much you’ve regressed while galavanting on the continent.” His tone was cold, clearly as upset with you as you were with him. Before you could even get into a starting position, he came at you. You let out a startled noise, blocking his attack. 
You narrowed your eyes at him. Fine, if this was how he wanted to play, you weren’t going to be the one to back down. 
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
You could barely catch your breath, evading another one of his attacks. Class had already wrapped up, most Priestesses packing up their things to go back to the library. But Azriel hadn’t let up one bit.
“Class is over, Az,” you panted, side stepping another attack. “Can we stop?”
“Class is over when I say it is,” he growled at you. He lifted his sword above his head and came down with an overhead attack. You had to roll out of the way to avoid it. 
“What’s gotten into you?” You snapped, putting some distance between you and him, trying to steady yourself. Azriel had never treated you like this before.
“You’re the one who declared you’re not a child anymore last night,” he snapped back at you. “So I’m not treating you like one. Suck it up, princess, and either disarm me or surrender.”
You gritted your teeth together, annoyed that he was acting like such a prick. Why the hell was he so upset with you? You had done nothing to him. 
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Shut up and fight me,” he growled. “Or surrender and go back to being coddled by your brother like always.” 
Fury sparked a fire in your gut. Since when did you ever ask to be coddled by Rhys? He had been the one that was overprotective, to the point of being paranoid. All you ever did was try to be the person your brother expected you to be, to not have him worry over you. You attacked him this time but he was quick to parry. You felt frustrated tears start to build in your eyes.
“Oh don’t start crying now,” Azriel snarled. “You asked for this.” 
“I never asked for anything from you!” You could hardly keep your sword in your hand, your body shaking from the anger you felt. 
“Because your brother caters to your every need.” He spat out the word brother like it was a curse and that only fueled the fire building in you. “He gives you everything you want, takes care of you, and still you decide to go run off to the continent, causing him to constantly worry about you.”
“Fuck you,” you snapped. “And keep my brother out of this. You know nothing about our relationship!”
He maneuvered behind you, using his free arm to wrap around your neck and pull you flush against his body. You were both panting, both sweating. You could faintly hear Cassian yelling at you guys to stop but you ignored him, too lost in your own anger.
Azriel leaned down, his breath dancing against your ear. “I know you’re just a burden to him. Just another responsibility that fell on his shoulders.” 
The breath was expelled from your lungs, your stomach twisted into a knot. A burden? Is that how Rhys truly saw you? Just something he was being forced to take care of? 
You elbowed Azriel in the stomach and kicked him in the chest away from you. He slid to a stop in the sand but then came back twice as hard. You tried to evade, tried to parry his attacks, but it was no use. You were not close to being the warrior Azriel was.
A knock to your wrist had your sword flying from you hand and you fell on your backside, scooting away from him. He didn’t seem to notice he had unarmed you and raised his sword to slash at you again. You let out a whimper of fear and lifted your hands up to block your face. 
The sword sliced down the middle of your palm and you let out a pained cry. Azriel immediately froze, towering over your much smaller form on the ground. His eyes widened, the sword slipped out of his hand and suddenly Cassian was in between you two, his wings flaring out to block you as he shoved Azriel in the chest—hard. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Cassian screamed at him. He shoved him again but Azriel paid him no mind, his eyes stuck on you still sitting on the floor, now cradling your hand to your chest as blood dripped down your skin. 
“Y/n…” Your name came from his lips, pure anguish in his voice as he stared at you in horror, as if now realizing he had gone way too far. You scrambled to your feet, fighting to rein in your tears. 
Azriel stepped towards you but Cassian grabbed him by the shoulder roughly. “No, leave her alone. Why don’t you tell me what the hell that was?!”
Nesta was glancing between you and Azriel in shock and when she started to make her way towards you, you magick your wings, unfurled them, and took off into the sky as agony ripped through you. 
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
You had hoped to make it to your bedroom before running into anyone, but as per usual, the Mother decided to spite you. You nearly crashed into Rhys as you hurried down the hall. He caught you by your shoulders, his nostrils flaring as he smelt blood, before he looked down at you in surprise. 
"Are you okay?" he asked before taking in the tears still pouring down your face. "Y/n, what happened? Why are you hurt?"
"It's nothing," you mumbled, trying to skirt around him but he yanked you into his office. 
"It's not nothing," he said through clenched teeth, "You're bleeding and crying. Who hurt you?" 
"It was just an accident during training this morning. I'm fine." 
"Dove, please, I've seen you hurt worse than this and you never shed a tear then," he said, stroking your hair. "What happened?"
You couldn't hold it in anymore, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. "Am...am I a b-burden to you?"
"What?" he gasped in surprise. "Where did you get that idea?"
You shook your head, sniffling. Rhys sighed and pulled you into a hug. "Dove, you are not a burden to me. I don't know why you'd ever think that. I love you so much, too much perhaps. If anything, I'm the one who's burdened you with my incessant worrying."
You wished you felt relief but it just made you cry even more. Your brother continued to stroke your hair, holding you close. "Who caused you to think that?"
"No one," you mumbled into his chest. "It's nothing. I just thought—I don't know." 
Rhys pulled back to hold you at arm's length. You tried to avoid eye contact with him but he gripped your chin and forced you to look up at him. Anger was swirling in his eyes. "Tell me who hurt you. Tell me who caused this." 
You shook your head, not wanting to cause a fight between your brother and Azriel. His eyes glazed over for a second and you knew he was communicating with someone in his head. You felt yourself tense up. When his focus came back to you, that anger had grown into rage. You knew he had probably asked Cassian what happened at training and you cursed at the General for snitching. 
He stepped around you and stalked towards the door just as Feyre entered his office. She gasped in surprise as she caught sight of the two of you. "Gods, what happened?"
Rhys brushed past her. "Stay here with her."
Feyre's eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "Rhys, what's going on? Where are you going?" 
He glanced at her over her shoulder, his teeth bared in a snarl. "I'm going to go kick Azriel's ass."
And then he disappeared in a swirl of darkness. 
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Tag List: @kalulakunundrum @going-through-shit @thelov3lybookworm @tinystarfishgalaxy @cat-or-kitten @abysshaven @vhjlucky13 @polli05927 @nightcourtwritings @wicked-mind @mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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rootbeerworshiper · 9 days
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Tumblr media
means something
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
summery: your best friend stopped talking to you suddenly but you need one last chance at closure
warnings: angst lol
a/n: short and sweet (and sad) but i had fun writing it. alsoooo it’s based on the song but you don’t need the song playing in the background bc the pacing is different
love, sienna <3
you let out a defeated sigh as you focus your attention on a blank sheet of paper. it was supposed to be easy now, easier to let out your thoughts and begin to reconstruct your views on the situations that bring you sadness. at least that’s what your therapist advised you.
but instead you have nothing but small doodles of hearts on the top of the paper, serving as nothing but a sad reminder of your own life and how it lacks the love you always read about.
‘hopeless romantic’ used to feel like the wrong word, because there was a point where you had hope for a story like you see in the movies. a classic romantic comedy plot line was one you had always yearned for.
it’s silly how badly you’ve wanted it. you know you’re a complete person without it, you have strengths and aspirations and you cannot base your worth onto stupid boys.
but he wasn’t stupid. not in the slightest, regardless of what others said about him.
he was thoughtful and caring in ways no one else has been to you. never in your life have you seen someone so in touch with their own emotions at that level.
that’s because he’s special. to you and to so many other people.
April 17th, 2022
dear Matt,
i’m not entirely sure how to do this whole thing but it’s a step in healing that i’m more than inclined to take. part of me just really wants to get better so i have to do something to help me.
it might seem really random that i’m mailing you a letter, and trust me i understand how odd it is. but for once i needed you to hear me, and i can’t really send this message to a blocked number.
i can’t see anything in life without thinking of you. i saw a street sign the other day and i had to squint because, for a moment i thought i saw your last name plastered on the plastic. and i thought that it meant something. like the universe was trying to tell me something.
how pathetic is that? you know i can’t even have most of my favourite snacks anymore because they were our favourite snacks. the new foods you introduced me to when i forced you to watch ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’ with me in middle school are practically forbidden from my apartment.
“this is the dumbest movie concept ever” Matt speaks, an annoyed undertone to his voice as he looks to me.
“you haven’t even watched it yet how can it be dumb? you know you might end up enjoying it if you watch it with an open mind” i reply, snuggling into his arm as my body rests on the soft couch cushion.
it definitely doesn’t take long for him to become invested.
“wait someone sent the letters?”
“why is she kissing him? doesn’t she like margo’s boyfriend?”
“damn they’re really just making out in a public hot tub”
the movie comes to a close, a cute song playing as the credits roll. “so, what did you think?”
“i think that i really like root beer and i really need the second movie now” he exclaims, sipping his bubbly liquid before looking down at me with the same blue eyes that can easily make me dizzy.
“i thought you’d come around Matt”
now i’m just a girl getting sad over a canned soda and a familiar brand of chips because it reminds me of all the good that once was.
along with this, i know everything about you.
i know your zodiac sign, me and leo’s are really compatible, which i never failed to mention to you despite how little you believe in astrology.
i can’t lie, the amount of silly little compatibility quizzes i took throughout middle school with our names punched in was a bit excessive, but every time without fail i would get the answers i had hoped for. and i thought that meant something.
i know how hard it was growing up for you. but i was there for you when you needed someone to force you to go to school in the morning, or when you needed help ordering food at the gas station across the street.
i used to think we were soulmates. not always romantic, but we just understood each other so well and i considered it to be sacred.
whenever i went through my own shit you were there for me. it was always so easy. knowing that if i had a bad day i had someone to go to who would listen with open ears… i guess it’s just been hard to live without that.
“Matt why did he break up with me? am i that unlovable?” i cry out, my head buried in matt’s chest as he rubs small circles on the back of my head.
he just pulls my head off of him, hands placed on either cheek as he looks at me. “i don’t think there is anyone on this planet that is more lovable than you”
i sniffle, trying my best to suppress the numerous tears that want nothing more than to escape my eyes. “so why did he break up with me out of the blue? after eight months why did he just decide he’s done with me?”
“because he’s an idiot who doesn’t understand the girl he just lost”
i cried for hours that night when my boyfriend broke up with me, and i know you remember. the next morning i woke up in your arms and i immediately felt guilty for keeping you up so late with my sob stories, but you didn’t care.
you said you wanted what’s best for me and you would make it your life’s goal to make me happy. and then you had the audacity to run your fingers through my hair as i thought about what to do next. that along with the constant reminders of how much i deserved love, that it was a definite thing for me.
how is that okay? do you not see how that was so completely confusing? did it mean absolutely nothing?
i haven’t kissed many people in my life, something Chris loved to tease me about. what he doesn’t know is that you were my first.
we never talked about it. maybe that was for the best, because every time i see a picture of you all i can think about is how good your lips felt on mine.
“i can’t just kiss you!” i laugh out, taking another swig of my drink before wiping my lips and looking back at the boy who has a serious expression resting on his face.
“sure you can. i don’t want jack to have an unfortunate ending to your guys’ date if u end up like… licking his bottom lip or some shit” he argues, holding his own drink in his own hand but keeping his attention solely on me.
“you’re just saying that because you’re drunk”
“maybe” he replies, sensing my hesitance. “is the idea of kissing me that bad?”
“no! no of course not, i just don’t wanna make it weird between us” i say, suddenly feeling a pool of anxiety form in my stomach.
but then, before i could form another overwhelming thought you just kissed me. just like that your lips were attached to mine and everything felt okay.
it was short lived, although i know i could have been like that forever. “nothing could ever make things weird between us, promise”
it’s funny isn’t it? how many times we assured each other that our friendship was solid, unbreakable.
i think the worst part is the not knowing. there’s nothing to comfort me with.
you left one day and you simply never spoke to me again. was it my fault? was it something i said?
i can’t help but wonder if the reason you cut it off is because you noticed all the small glances i would take in your direction. or if you noticed that the reason why i love romance books so much is because i imagine we’re the main characters.
that’s the thing though, i’ll never know. i feel less like myself without you, but maybe that’s part of growing up.
i have to learn what my own favourite snacks are and i can’t reply on you to have my back when i get my heart broken. instead i’ll be crying in an empty bed wondering what could’ve happened differently.
this wasn’t supposed to be a long letter but i promise it’s the only one you’ll be getting from me because i have to do the same as you, i have to move on.
i just have one question for you.
did all of this mean something to you? like really mean something to you in the way that i interpreted it.
i’ve wondered if i was delusional when i caught you staring at me from across the classroom, or when i found those compatibility tests in your search history.
but the kiss? drunk or not i thought something was there, with you or with us or whatever else. i didn’t think i was just another girl that Matt Sturniolo kisses and then forgets about but that’s exactly what i became.
anyways, i hope this letter finds you well. i had to ask Nate for your address but please don’t get mad at him. you know how stubborn i am when i want something and he tried to say no.
i guess i just love you, and i’m trying my best to make that sentence into past tense.
thanks for listening, y/n.
you grab an envelope that resides on the edge of your desk and open it up. folding up your letter and placing it gently inside before licking the tip of the envelope and closing it.
it all feels metaphorical. pouring your heart out just for it to get concealed by a thin piece of paper and shipped away.
regardless, you breathe out, standing up and making your way over to the garage to start your car. if you don’t do it know you won’t do it at all, and you need him to hear you.
a/n: if u want a part 2 you might get one maybe… we’ll see what i’m feeling anyways hope you enjoyed this blurb
taglist: @lolasnoww-blog @tastesousweet @ivypoison @disturbedwoodelf @sturnswift @junnniiieee07 @ellie-luvsfics @sturnified @madsdogst @justlivinglive @sluttycupsworld @flowerxbunnie @mbsbaby @sturniolossmut @lustfulslxt @69isabella69 @dracoflaco @mattslatinagf @raekensluver @worldlxvlys @greatooglymooglyyy @breeloveschris @st7rnioioss @imwetforyourmom @sturniolololover @immuneweed @its-jennarose @taco-taco-posts @luverboychris @gracealwaysdisgrace @gamermattsgf @mattscoquette @nervoussagittarius @sugrhigh @jnkvivi @sturnsmia
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seancekitsch · 22 days
Note
Hazbin Hotel—Lucifer x Reader where he’s a love struck fool for reader? May or may not be inspired by that little imagine you posted not too long ago \(//∇//)\
uhhh this kinda got away from me. enjoy!!
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You’d have to be a fool not to notice how the King of Hell acts around you, even Angel and Husk told you that. But you’re not blinded to situation, you know exactly what’s going on. You rest your elbow on the bar next to Angel as Charlie gathers the hotel residents and staff, a job not unlike herding cats. Everyone trickles in slowly, waiting for the next odd trust bond activity Charlie has come up with now. Last week was heartfelt letter writing, and the three of you at the bar had not taken it seriously. You handed Husk a comedic inner monologue about how much you needed to pee, Husk handed Angel a surprisingly detailed made up story about a talking whisky bottle, and Angel handed you a list of what roles he’d cast the entire hotel in a porno.
“What do you think they’ll have us do this time?” Husk mumbles to you, topping off your drink.
“Honestly, not a fan of the way Princess is smiling right now,” you answer.
Charlie waves everyone over, and Vaggie smiles uncomfortably, ready for everyone to start.
“Okay Good Afternoon,” Charlie starts, practically bouncing, “Today we’re going to try to form new bonds!”
Immediately, she’s met with groaning and mumbling, but thats never stopped her and it won’t today either.
“So what better way to do that then having a buddy for the next twenty four hours!” She shouts, and Vaggie’s face immediately makes sense.
“I’ve separated everyone from their regular group so they can build these bonds and be open!”
“…got something you could open…” you hear Angel mumble under his breath.
Charlie gives her dad a thumbs up.
“The first pairing is… my dad and Y/n!”
The Morningstar family sucks at being subtle or lying.
“So what did you have planned for the day?” Lucifer asks while sitting beside you, his voice short and clipped, his entire demeanor like he’s on high alert. It’s cute, really.
“Ah don’t worry about it,” you shrug, “What does the areat King of Hell do with his day?”
Lucifer rubs his neck, fidgeting under your question.
“It’s not… Its not actually all that interesting,” he admits, “You’ve probably got something cooler going on.”
There’s something he’s avoiding besides your gaze, but you don’t press the issue.
You look across the lobby to Angel, who pauses his conversation with Vaggie to mouth something that looked like the word “fart” to you, and then wink.
Your art gallery. Right.
“Have you ever been to Pentagram City’s biggest art gallery?” you ask him.
Lucifer is a gentleman. You understand how he stole the first man’s first two wives from him. Sure, he’s stumbling and stuttering and a nervous wreck, but he’s holding doors open for you and asking about your thoughts and feelings about the pieces on display, he’s accidentally on purpose almost held your hand three times now. Next time he does it, you’re just going to grab his damn hand.
You stare at the sculpture in front of you, noting that you should have someone move this to a different room. In fact, there’s a few things you’ve noticed while showing Lucifer the art that you should have moved around. Maybe you’ve been neglecting the gallery a bit more than you thought now that you live at the hotel.
“Hey, Can I ask you about these?” Lucifer’s voice booms from the next room over. Sighing, you type a quick note into your V-Phone and turn.
Oh shit.
Lucifer found THAT room.
You cross the threshold into the room you never go into, the room with your own work. Honestly, it’s not even curated the way the other rooms and floors are. This is where you put anything that you think can leave your studio. He’s in front of one of your biggest paintings, and one of your newest. It’s an abstract piece about your feelings about redemption, about your past sins, about adjusting to the hotel. Which it sounds stupid when you put it like that, but it made sense in the moment and you’re proud of it.
He turns and smiles before looking back at the painting.
“Is the uh, is the artist willing to sell this piece?” he asks, his cheeks and the tips of his ears turning red.
Now it’s your turn to get nervous. You’ve never actually sold any of your own pieces before.
“I uh- I’m not gonna sell it to you,” you tell him, “You can have it.”
It would be weird to take money from Lucifer, even if he is offering. You like him a decent amount and a transaction between the two of you would make it weird. It would feel like you owe him, even though your art would technically satisfy that. If he was one of the Vees or someone you dislike, you would have immediately taken money.
“But the artist-“
“Me,” you clarify, and you finally remember you don’t tag your own art. Lucifer’s jaw drops at your admission.
“I’d really like to support your work, it’s magnificent,” Lucifer insists, and you feel your cheeks burning. He turns to gesture to another piece, and his knuckles brush your own.
Fuck it. You told yourself you’d do it. You grab Lucifer’s hand in your own, a bold move.
“Just think about it as a gift,” you tell him, “A thank you for the lovely day we’ve had.”
You inwardly cringe, knowing that when you recount today at the lobby bar your drinking buddies are going to tear you a new one for that corny line. But it fits for Lucifer; he’s bringing out a side of you that you really haven’t seen in a while.
“Thank you uh, gorgeous,” he tacks on the pet name like even he isn’t sure about it, and with his hand still in yours, attempts to lean against a sculpture, stumbling as he misses it and bringing you along with him. He tugs you by the arm, jerking you closer to him. He’s majorly out of practice.
“I have a studio upstairs if you want to see more?” you offer, not really sure if you thought that through.
“More art? Absolutely!” He recovers quickly, enthusiasm dripping from his voice.
You smile as you pull him towards the hallway, butterflies in your stomach as it dawns on you that he’s going to be the only person besides you to see the studio.
You and Lucifer end up staying there until Charlie calls him the next morning.
You notice paint on his chin after you get back to the hotel.
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confused-pyramid · 2 months
Text
You're the Only One Who Knows to Slow it Down | s5
pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader
summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.
word count: 16.2k
warnings: canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, major character death, gun violence, drinking, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 5x01, 5x02, 5x06, 5x09, 5x10, and 5x21
a/n: This season was really hard to write at points (I think we all know which eps I'm talking about lol) but I'm looking forward to brighter days ahead:') Also we get some more tangible tension so yay! Title is from Look After You by The Fray
series masterlist
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"We're not working a case," Derek states matter-of-factly when you arrive at the crime scene. You were woken up early the next morning after getting back from Canada, and on less than four hours of sleep, your brain is struggling to function.
"Why call us to a crime scene?" you ask, walking up to the front door of the house with the rest of the team.
He shrugs. "I was hoping you knew."
You look around, trying to find Aaron, but he's nowhere in sight. He had promised to put in the team request for a few days of leave, but you presume the call came in before he got a chance to do so.
The local police let you survey the scene, explaining that a Dr. Barton got a threatening letter that someone would be murdered everyday that he didn't give up his own son. Once you're done inspecting the body, you turn to JJ, lowering your voice. "Where's Hotch?"
"He's not answering his cell," she says, her lips thinning. "I assume it's on vibrate."
You nod. "I'll try him again."
You step away from the group and click his number in your speed dial, listening to the rings until it reaches his voicemail. It's unlike him to keep his phone on silent, but you know the previous night was tough on everyone. "Hey, it's me." You tell him the address you're heading to for the case, before turning towards the car and lowering your voice. "I know you're probably just asleep, but I don't know...I have that weird feeling again that you know I get...so please just call me back." You take a deep breath, hoping you're being overdramatic, and that you'll see him pull up in a few minutes. "See you soon."
When you get to Dr. Barton's house, he still hasn't called you back. You sit with the doctor, Prentiss, and Reid in his living room, going through his recent patient files, while Morgan, JJ, and Rossi head to the school to find his son.
"Something set this guy off," Emily explains as you start poring over the records. "Odds are it's in your files."
You manage to get through about a dozen before Dr. Barton stands up with a sigh. "My son is leaving school in five hours. There's no way we can get through all of these patients in time."
You check your phone again, mostly to see the time, but you also note that there aren't any new calls or messages. "He's right. We need more eyes on this. I can get Hotch and be back in a half hour."
"Keep us updated," Emily says, nodding at you. Concern flashes across her eyes for a millisecond, and you're sure it reflects the look in yours.
The drive to his apartment doesn't take long, and you stalk down the hall, all the way to the end, until you find his door. There's no answer the first time you knock, so you reach for the spare key he gave you, but before you can use it, you realize the door is already unlocked.
Your heart drops into your stomach and you pull your gun out, using it to push open the door carefully. "Aaron? Aaron, it's me."
When the door is ajar, the sight before you almost makes you drop your gun. There's a large bullet hole in the far wall, along with a patch of drying blood and bits of broken glass on the floor. His phone is on the ground as well, and his gun and holster are lying on his dining table.
You crouch down on your heels, trying to calm your breathing, as you take in your surroundings. You need to think logically about this, or you'll be no help at all.
A few things come to you as your mind clears.
His car is still outside.
No blood splatter around the bullet hole.
No drag marks.
You dig your hand around your back pocket and pull out your phone, dialing Garcia as fast as you can. "Overtime shift, Penelope speaking."
Her chipper voice usually calms you down, but right now you need to cut to the chase. "Garcia, it's me. Something's happened to Hotch. You need to get an APB out on him."
Her breath stutters. "What do you mean, something?"
"There's blood on the floor," you whisper, willing your voice not to crack as your throat thickens with tears. "There's also a bullet hole in the wall, probably a .44."
"I'll send the whole team," she says before you cut her off.
"No, don't call the team. They need to finish the case we were assigned. Just tell Emily, since she's expecting me back, but send every other agent in the vicinity."
"On it."
The line clicks off and you release your breath, before standing up again. While you wait for the crime scene techs, you poke around his things in the main area, trying to see if anything has been taken or moved. The only thing you notice before they arrive is that a page has been ripped from his address book.
"Agent L/N?" a voice calls from the doorway.
You lift your hand. "Yeah, in here."
They come inside and get to work immediately, so you step out, just in time for Garcia to call you back. "Y/N, I checked local hospitals for his name, and I didn't find anything at first, but then one of them told me something really strange."
"Garcia," you whisper through gritted teeth. You love her, but she needs to hurry up before you explode. "What was it?"
"Someone dropped off a John Doe at St. Sebastian hospital, and that someone's name was FBI Agent Derek Morgan."
Your vision turns black for a moment. He's back. Foyet's back.
You're rushing to your car before she has a chance to hang up.
***
He's still under anesthesia when you arrive at the hospital. He was stabbed nine times. That's what the nurse told you when you flashed your credentials and asked for any information she could give you.
Now, you're standing in his doorway, trying to build up the nerve to approach his sleeping form. Even with all of the bandages covering his arms and abdomen, he somehow looks peaceful. It's been so long since you've seen his brow unfurrowed, his forehead smooth, without the tension that invades his daily life.
After a few minutes, you take a step inside, then another, and suddenly you're right beside him, reaching out to clutch his hand over the bedsheet.
His skin is cold, and you wrap both hands around his to warm it up, if even by just a little. He's usually a furnace, generating his own heat even when it's freezing out, but whenever he gets hurt, his hands turn to ice.
After a minute, your phone buzzes in your pocket and you let him go to answer it. It's just Emily telling you that she's at the hospital with the rest of the team, and you walk out into the hall to talk to them.
Rossi is the first to reach you. He squeezes you into a hug before getting back to business. "You sure it was Foyet?"
"He had Morgan's credentials," you nod, rubbing a hand over the back of your neck. Derek glances at you then, and you press your lips together with a nod.
"Did they catch him on the security cam?"
"You could see him dropping Hotch off," you explain, trying to keep your voice steady, "but the camera's only on the entrance, so I have no idea what direction he went once he left the hospital."
Emily shakes her head. "It doesn't make sense for him to have brought Hotch to the E.R."
The nurse from earlier approaches you then, pulling your attention. "Agents, he's waking up."
You shuffle inside and take his hand again as everyone walks in.
His voice is soft when he opens his eyes. "Where am I?"
"In the hospital," Emily whispers, taking care to be mindful of her volume.
He shuts his eyes for a beat. "How did I get here?"
"Foyet drove you." Rossi doesn't frown often, but the lines of his face are clearer than ever. "Can you remember what happened?"
Hotch shakes his head, closing his eyes. "What did he take? The Reaper always takes something from his victims."
"There was an address page missing from your day planner," you whisper, finally finding your voice. "In the B's."
His eyes snap open and he tries to lift his head from the pillow, but he can only wince. "Where are my clothes?"
Emily hands him a plastic bag filled with his belongings, and he ruffles through them, until he finds his wallet. When he opens it, a photograph is stuffed inside, covered in blood spatter. Haley and Jack.
Your breath catches, and he seems to realize what it means at the same moment you do. "Haley's maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the B's in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands."
You squeeze his hand involuntarily, and he exhales sharply. "He knows where they live."
***
When the rest of the team rushes off to his old house, you stay with him at the hospital. You get a call soon from JJ that Haley and Jack are just fine, and you are finally able to breathe easy for the first time all day.
"They're okay," you tell him when you hang up the phone. "That was JJ. She said Haley was home and Jack's at a playdate, but Morgan is going to pick him up right now."
He nods slowly, his body relaxing into the bed. "Good. That's good."
"It is," you say, eyeing his movements. It's still enormously difficult to look at him like this, but you won't be able to move forward if you don't know the truth. "Aaron, what happened? What did he do?"
"I don't remember all of it," he says slowly, clearly taking his time with each word. There's no rush, and he knows it. Even if it takes him hours to get it all out, you'll still be here. "I remember him being there when I got home, after I dropped you off. He fired off a shot into the wall, and then I tried to tackle him, but..."
He trails off, and you squeeze his hand tighter, as though trying to tether him to the present moment. After a few shallow breaths, he continues. "I tried to tackle him, and I got him on the ground, but then he overpowered me." You can almost see it in your mind. The picture he's painting as he weaves over the details with startling clarity. "The first one hurt the most."
The first stab. Your eyes close for a beat, like you're trying to hide from his words. The first of nine.
"I don't remember much after that." You can tell he's leaving things out, but you also don't know if you'll be able to handle it if he does tell you everything.
"That's okay," you whisper as his eyes droop down. "You should rest."
He nods slowly as the exhaustion takes over and his grip loosens around your hand as he falls asleep.
You wait by his side for about a half hour, until you spot a familiar face (with a new haircut) dawdling in the hallway.
You stand up in a fervor. "Oh, thank god."
You rush over to Haley and pull her into a hug, which she returns just as forcefully. "JJ called us when she found you, but it's still really good to see your face."
"It's good to see you too," she says with an exhale before letting you go. You look down and see Jack standing next to her, his mouth downturned as his fingers twiddle at his sides. "Do you mind staying with him while I go talk to Aaron?"
You turn around and see that he's blinking his eyes open again. "Not at all." You take Jack's hand with a smile and lead him down the hall.
"I'm sorry if the big men scared you," you tell him once you find a few seats in the waiting area. "I know it was all very sudden."
To your surprise, his face breaks out into a big grin. "Uncle Derek let me turn on the siren!"
"Wow!" you smile, feeling warm laughter echo around your chest. "That sounds super fun."
He nods ecstatically, before leaning his head over to look back up the hall. "Can I see Daddy now?"
Your smile falls as fast as it appeared and you take his hand again, pressing his fingers between yours. "Soon, baby, soon."
***
He wakes up to the sound of faint talking. He can vaguely see you hugging someone, and he blinks a few times to clear his vision as you disappear down the hall.
"How do you feel?" Haley asks as she walks into his hospital room. She doesn't come further than the foot of the bed, but he's just glad to see her here, in one piece.
He clears his throat quietly. "I'm gonna be okay." She doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't want to focus on him right now. "Did they explain to you what's happening?"
She nods slowly, looking at him for another moment. "They said the Marshal's service is taking us straight from here and putting us into protective custody."
She looks upset, and it takes him back to the lowest moments of their relationship. "Haley, I'm sorry."
She looks down and the familiar urge to comfort her returns, even while lying in a hospital bed. "Do you know where they're gonna take us?"
"No, I don't." He tries to catch her eye but she won't look at him. "And that's the point. I can't know where you're going. If you have any contact with anyone, then he could track you."
She finally looks at him then, and her sadness is tinged with exasperation. "Jack has school. He has friends. I have a job now."
He doesn't know what else to say but: "I know. I'm sorry." He hopes he's conveying what he means, but it doesn't feel like enough. "We will catch him, and you'll come back, and I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you."
She nods minutely, and he takes the small comfort. "Are you sure that we're in danger?"
"Yes." There's little else he's been more sure of.
"And what about you?" she asks, her voice small. "Are you gonna be safe?"
He doesn't want to worry her, but he also doesn't want to lie. "He wants to see me suffer. Knowing that my son is out there and that I can't see him is better than killing me."
Her brow pinches and she pushes her short hair back from her forehead. "Jack wants to come in."
He tries to argue at first, not because he doesn't want to see him, but because it will only make it harder to let him go again, but eventually she convinces him to accede.
She leaves to go get him, and he leans back on the pillows, trying not to let himself sink inside.
~
Haley finds you in the waiting area, with Jack sitting on your lap, in the middle of a game of I Spy.
"Is he ready for him?" you whisper when you see her approach. She nods and you lift Jack off your lap and set him on his feet. "Off you go, buddy. Time to see Daddy."
"Yay!" he cheers before racing down the hall, you and Haley right behind him. She steers him into the correct room, and he jumps onto the bed before either of you can stop him.
There's a quiet chorus of 'be careful's before he grunts, "Don't worry. It's okay. The doctors made sure that I'm completely fine." He turns to the small boy with a smile you haven't seen in days. "Did Mommy tell you that you two are gonna take a trip?"
Jack nods once, moving his chin up and down dramatically. "Yeah."
"So I'm not gonna see you for a while."
Jack frowns. "Why?" The word sounds so small out of his mouth, and your heart cracks in your chest.
"Well, think about it like when Daddy goes away for work. Only this time you and Mommy get to go someplace."
Jack ponders this for a few seconds, before crawling up again and wrapping his arms around his dad's neck. "Are you okay?"
"I'm very proud of you." It's a father's answer. The kind of response that doesn't tell the truth, but hides the pain with love. "Every single day. I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Okay."
Haley says another goodbye and grabs Jack's hand before leading him out of the room. She gives you another hug, squeezing extra tight for the last second. "It's not his fault."
"Of course it isn't," you whisper, letting her pull back.
"No," she whispers, closing her eyes. "I mean, don't let him blame himself for this."
He's one of the most stoic people you know, but he can also be so transparent sometimes. "I won't. I'll be here."
"He needs you," she says with a sad smile. "He's always needed you, but he especially needs you now."
She doesn't let you respond before she's tugging Jack down the hall. You watch as she exits the side door of the wing, and only turn back when you can't see her anymore. She's one of your longest friends, and you won't be able to see her or her son for god knows how long.
When you step back into the room, you stand at the foot of his bed, trying to gauge what he needs from you, but then you see his expression. Tears prick the corners of his eyes and his mouth twists as you rush forward and grab his hand, squeezing it between yours with the grip of someone holding onto a life preserver.
"They'll be okay," you whisper, trying to keep your own tears back. "We'll get through this."
He nods, his eyes still shining. You move to sit in the chair beside him, but he tugs you back, pulling you closer. You understand the desperate look in his eyes, the need for connection and comfort from someone you care about that you've seen in yourself on so many occasions.
Slipping your shoes off, you tuck the sheet into his side and carefully climb onto the little hospital bed, taking care to avoid any of the wires and tubes. Once you're sure you're not pulling on anything, you curl up beside him and wrap yourself around his arm. His skin is warmer than it was earlier, and you take solace in the fact that he's going to be okay. Maybe not now, but he will be.
Your breaths synchronize with his and you listen to the beeping of the heart monitor as your own heart rate calms down. There's a feeling tugging at your spine, filling you up and threatening to spill over, but you shove it down, knowing it will be too much right now. You don't have the words to describe the emotions circulating through your brain, so you stick with what you know. "I love you." It's quiet, barely a whisper, but you know he can hear you. "Thank you for staying alive."
"You're welcome," he whispers back, his voice barely audible over the monitor. "I love you too."
***
You leave the hospital the next morning with a plan. He's still asleep when you wake up, so you get up carefully and thank the nurses one more time before heading out.
You make two stops on the way to his apartment, and this time, you use your spare key to unlock the front door. The crime scene crew cleaned the blood off the floor, and you told Rossi to get them to spackle the hole in the wall, for at least a temporary fix, but there's still an air about the place. It was just starting to feel like his home, and now it's soiled, once again.
You shut the door behind you and drop your bags to the ground, surveying the place one last time for any damage or mess you missed earlier. When everything seems fine, you get to work.
An hour later, you slump back against the wall and toss the packet of instructions to the ground. In front of you is a freshly installed security system, with a door proximity sensor and keypad for when he leaves the house in a hurry.
You can already hear the arguments coming, but you don't care anymore. You won't be able to sleep knowing he's in here, all alone, without anything to keep Foyet from coming back and finishing the job.
For someone who has as little of a technical background as you do, you're impressed with how quickly you were able to get the system running, and you test it a couple of times, turning it on and off and checking the doors, before you finally pull his door closed and lock it behind you.
***
The doctors don't release him until the end of the week, but once he's able to walk again, he calls you to get him from the hospital. By the time he signs his discharge papers and makes the phone call, you're already almost there, and as much as he hates putting you out on a weekend, he can't help the satisfaction that rumbles through him.
The drive to his apartment is mostly silent, with him just trying to stay still as you take the turns carefully, and drive five under the speed limit. When you arrive, you hold the bag of salves and ointments for him as you take his arm, helping him down the hall and to his front door.
He moves to grab his key, but you stop him with a forceful "Wait!"
"I can unlock my own door," he grumbles, but you just shake your head, taking the key from him and turning it slowly in the lock. The moment it swings open, a loud beeping fills the air, and you rush forward to type something into the keypad by his door. Wait...keypad? "When did tha-"
"Before you argue," you jump in, clearly anticipating his disgruntlement, "it's for me, okay."
He raises an eyebrow and you glare at him, but there's no effort behind it. "I mean, it's obviously for you, but still...it's for my peace of mind too."
You're rambling makes him crack a smile for the first time in days, and he nods slowly. "Okay."
Your mouth snaps shut and you look at him with a meek smile. "Okay."
You help him get settled on the couch, and he waits there as you scrounge up some food from the kitchen. He's not sure he has anything perishable, but you manage to put together a comforting bowl of pasta with jarred tomato sauce that makes him feel a little more at home.
As the evening turns to night, he catches himself glancing at his watch more often than not, and eventually you catch on too.
"Is it time?" you ask, your voice gentle.
After a breath, he nods, and you reach across the coffee table to grab his bag of supplies from the doctor. You lay the salve and extra gauze on the table, and wait for him to make the next move, a decision he accepts gratefully.
He's been injured before. He knows how painful it is to sanitize a wound, and especially one as deep and grotesque as his. He just needs a few moments to accept the fact that he's...scared.
"I can do it," he says once he's ready, before reaching for the salve. The simple motion makes him wince and you jump in right away, grabbing it for him and undoing the top.
"Let me," you whisper, your words somewhere between a statement and a question. "Please."
He can already feel his stitches pulling, just from the simple act of swiveling his body to face you, so he gives in with a quick nod.
He doesn't look at you as he undoes the buttons of his shirt. He's not embarrassed - you've never pitied him, even at his lowest moments - but he needs the semblance of privacy as he exposes his injuries to the open air.
The air feels cold as he pulls his undershirt over his head, and you get to work immediately, peeling back the old layer of gauze as slowly as you can. The sections directly over his wounds stick slightly, and he grits his teeth against the pain as you gently tug them free, making sure to avoid pulling his stitches.
"Do you want a break?" you ask once the gauze has been fully removed. He shakes his head, needing this to be over as soon as possible, but when he meets your eyes, he sees them welling up with tears.
He glances down at his bare torso, his eyes darting over the jagged scars ranging from his stomach to his collarbone. Your breath stutters as you take it in with him, and he looks at you. "He made sure we'd match."
He sees you rapidly blinking away the tears that rush forward, and he wants to comfort you somehow, but he doesn't know what to do. You help him lean back on the armrest, so you can apply the salve around each of his injuries, and as your fingers press into his skin, he can't help but be reminded of his childhood. The pressure of your hands as you wrapped him with bandages, the warmth of your breath when you leaned in to inspect your work.
It's usually a sad memory when he thinks back to his childhood, but with you, it was always good. He watches as you slowly tape the new layer of gauze around his abdomen, and even as tears slide down your cheeks, the way you look at him doesn't change.
"All done," you whisper after pressing on the final pieces of tape. "How do you feel?"
Anxious. Terrified. Lonely. Guilty. "Good. Thank you."
***
"Hey, it's Emily."
"What's up, Em?" you say, your phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you hop around, trying to get your shoes on before work.
"How was your weekend?"
You pause. "Fine?" The question isn't out of the ordinary, you're just not sure why she called to ask you that when she's going to be seeing you in person in about twenty minutes. "How was yours?"
"Oh, you know." She sounds distracted, and you feel a smile pull at your lips as you realize she's avoiding something.
"Em...is there a reason you called? You know, given that we're both on our way to the same place."
She clears her throat, and you hear the indecision in her voice, even over the phone. "I know this is kind of a weird question, but would you mind if I picked up Hotch for work this morning. I left late last night, so JJ was able to brief me early, and I figured he could use a headstart."
You stop your movements, straightening up and lifting your hand to your cell. It's not at all what you were expecting her to say, but that's not all you're confused about. "Yeah, of course. You don't have to ask me first, though. We're all teammates."
She makes an little noise that you don't recognize. "Yeah...but you two are different."
You don't know what to say to that, so you just wait for her to keep going. Emily was never very good at uncomfortable silences, so after a few moments, she's back. "Anyway...I'll grab Hotch and see you in 30?"
You try to hide your grin, even though no one can see you. "Sounds like it."
"Bye."
The phone clicks off, and you tuck it back into your pocket, still smiling. You're already in a better mood than normal, because after 34 days of medical leave, Aaron comes back to work today.
You finish clasping your shoe and head out the door, more relaxed this time. With Emily picking up Aaron, you're not in a rush anymore. You take the drive at a leisurely pace, and when you arrive at the office, you run into Spencer by the front of the building.
"Wait up!" you call out, jogging over to him before he gets in the elevator. "Let me get that." You slide the strap of his book bag off his shoulder and sling it onto yours. He nods in thanks and tucks his crutch under his arm as he presses the button for your floor.
"I thought I'd be used to the crutches by now, but I keep tripping over everything." You scrunch your brow with amusement as he frowns down at his leg. "The doctors say it's healing well, though."
The elevator doors open and you step in front of him to get the door across the hall. "Does it hurt?"
He shrugs. "It really only hurts when I think about it, which is pretty much all the time."
The statement isn't exactly comical, but his deadpan tone makes you snort as you hold the door, and he smiles as he passes by you. You follow him to Garcia's lair, and she perks up upon seeing the both of you.
"My babies," she grins, pulling out a chair for Spencer. "Sit, sit."
You let out a laugh as you place his bag on the floor next to him. "I'm older than you."
"Who's counting?" she throws back, typing something furiously into her computer. She turns around a moment later, just in time to swat Spencer's hand away from the tin of cookies sitting on her table. "No, no, no."
"What?" he complains, gaping at her.
She swats him again, before pulling the tin away from him. "Get away, you. These are for Hotch."
"Butterscotch?" you ask, glancing down at the box. His preference for butterscotch cookies was something you used to tease him about when you were kids. Butterscotch Hotch.
Penelope nods and lifts the edge of the lid, implicitly offering you a cookie. When you take one, Spencer throws his hands up into the air. "Why does she get one? I get shot in the leg and I still don't get any cookies."
You laugh and break off half of your cookie, which he takes from you the moment it's in your palm. He stuffs the entire thing into his mouth, not bothering to swallow it before he pipes up again. "You know he's gonna hate the attention."
"It's cookies," Garcia pouts, "not cake."
Spencer shrugs. "He's probably gonna pretend like nothing happened, anyway."
"Well, it doesn't mean we have to."
You don't know how to weigh in to this discussion, mostly because you know more about how he's feeling than they do, but also because the idea of speculating on his recovery without him here feels like a betrayal.
"What do you think?"
You look up and realize that Spencer was directing this question to you. Swallowing down the last bit of your cookie, you cough once to clear your throat. "I think he's been through a lot, but sometimes coming back to work is the best way to take your mind off of things. Foyet was in his home. I don't think staring at the same walls that used to have bullet holes in them is exactly healthy either."
Spencer and Penelope both stare at you for a moment, before nodding and looking down. They remind you of two children who have just been reprimanded, and you smile to soften the sentiment. "I love you guys for caring about this, but we just have to trust that he's okay."
"Yeah," Penelope nods, reaching forward to squeeze your hand. "Are you okay? This can't have been easy for you, either."
"I'm fine," you say too quickly. "Nothing happened to me." It's not a lie, exactly. You weren't the one who was stabbed. Nine times. "I've just been keeping him company after work, and helping with some of his post-hospital care checklist."
"He's lucky to have you," Penelope says softly, to which Spencer nods.
"He was great too after I got shot," you add, feeling oddly defensive of your friendship. "He stayed with me for a long time when my dad was gone."
She smiles at you sadly, before holding the tin out for you. "Want another cookie?"
You let out a weak laugh as Spencer chuffs behind you, and you shake your head. "No thanks."
"Do you think he'll like them?" Her voice sounds earnest, and you nod, knowing what it's like to want so desperately to understand someone who's as closed off as he seems at times.
"Spence, Y/N, there you guys are."
You turn around to see JJ, her face lined with tension. "Are you ready for us?"
She nods. "Grab your go bag."
***
He's been erratic all day. When he snapped at Garcia earlier for missing the antipsychotics link, you wanted to throttle him, especially when you remembered the cookies she had waiting for him in her office.
The thought that maybe Spencer was right keeps flashing through your mind as you watch him get frustrated with everyone, including himself. When you all arrive at the Darrin Call's father's house, where he and a young boy he kidnapped are waiting, Aaron instructs Emily to speak with the lieutenant on scene to figure out what you're dealing with.
"The kid's in there," you hear him say, "We've got this. Tactical teams are covering the exits. Call needs a distraction. He's focused on the old man."
Emily glances back at the house as she ties her hair back. "For now. But we're gonna have to figure out the safest way to get that kid out."
"I've got a team in the back and one on the way. We're going to infiltrate."
"You do that and someone else dies."
The man just shrugs. "Either Call or a child murderer...flip a coin."
"It doesn't have to end like that." You can see how hard she's trying to make the lieutenant understand, but sometimes the locals just don't listen. "We get a confession out of Jarvis and he goes away, and Call gets his answers. No one else has to die."
There's movement behind you and you turn around at the last second as Aaron stalks past you and towards the house.
"Hotch," you call out, but he doesn't look back. "Aaron. Aaron!"
He's almost at the front door, and your feet start moving without you realizing it. You make it within a few feet of the front gate before two pairs of arms seize you from behind, halting your momentum.
"Let him go," Dave whispers as he and Derek release you. "We have to trust him."
"He's not thinking straight," you grit out, unable to tear your eyes away from the closed door as you step forward again. He wasn't wearing his vest, and you can't remember if you saw his gun in his holster. You close your eyes, wracking your brain. Think, goddamnit.
Derek grabs you again as you try to make a break for it, anticipating your movements before you even know what you're doing. "Rossi's right. We have to trust him. We can't help him if we rush inside now."
"We can't help him out here either!" Your voice sounds frenzied in your ears, but he doesn't loosen his grip, even as you try to shove him off of you.
"You know we're right." He looks at you sternly, and your resolve diminishes as reason starts to set in. "Going inside will only make it worse."
Emily comes up from behind you and takes your arm, leading you back to the street in front of the house. You back up, but you don't turn around, ready to rush in the moment anything changes.
"What's he doing?" she asks Derek, her voice quiet, like she doesn't want you to hear.
"Stalling," he says simply. "He's got nothing to lose."
Your breath catches and you lift your hand to your chest, clutching the top of your vest like it's a lifeline. You want to scream at them, scream that he has everything to lose. He has a son, and an ex-wife who loves him, and he has you.
"You got the shot?"
"Negative."
He suddenly appears in the front of the door, but you can tell he's angling his body to block the visual of the shot. What is he doing?
The door opens for a split second, and the little boy runs down the porch and into the arms of one of the SWAT members. It shuts as fast as it opened up, and you only manage to see his face for a moment before he disappears into the house again.
For a minute, there's only silence, until the air is pierced with the sound of three gunshots, one after the other. Your body visibly flinches and you throw yourself forward and over the gate, pulling out your gun at the last moment as you breach the front door.
When you storm into the living room, Aaron is putting cuffs on Darrin. The father is dead in his recliner at the center of the room.
"What happened?" Dave asks from behind you.
He purses his lips. "I couldn't stop him." It's then that he finally looks up at you, but all you can do is glare. You don't know if you've ever been angrier in your life, and definitely not at him.
His brow dips with a mix of confusion and remorse, but you just stuff your gun back in its holster, spin around, and stalk out of the house. The fresh air outside feels like a welcome respite from the emotions swirling around inside of you, and you turn your face to the sky as your brain fires off millions of questions at once.
When did he get so reckless?
Is this all because of Foyet? The need to feel like he's getting something done, with his family on lockdown?
He comes out of the house then, and you're practically shaking from the relief that he is okay, but the anger isn't fading. You can feel it flooding your veins with each breath you take.
He hands Call off and approaches you slowly, stopping in front of you with a look you don't recognize.
"This is the job," he says simply, his voice almost cold. "You know what you signed up for."
"I know what I signed up for?" Your face twists with disbelief and you look at him with contempt. "Fuck you, Hotch." His face drops slightly and it only feeds your fight. You know him better than anyone else in this world, and that also means you know exactly how far you can push him until he cracks.
"This is what we do." His voice is tight, and you see your anger reflected in his eyes. "You knew that when you joined the team."
Emily and Dave exit the house, and you can feel their eyes flickering over to you, but you can't bring yourself to care right now.
"No," you grit out, shaking your head. "You don't get to be angry with me. You don't get to say that to me."
He looks at you for a beat before his face falls and you see all the fight leave him. He sighs, his brow pinching. "You're right."
You can practically see the war going on inside his head. The battle between fear and action, where there are no winners.
You nod as you look down at the ground, and he reaches forward to take your hand. He squeezes it tightly, before lifting it to his chest. "Y/N." I love you, I'm sorry.
You nod. "I know." I'm sorry too.
***
You've been looking at the text JJ sent you for the better part of an hour. Something's going on. Strauss was in Hotch's office and it looked bad.
You're reminded of his suspension and the two long weeks you worked here without him, and you internally resolve that it won't be happening again if you have any say at all.
The next morning, you're one of the last people to arrive, and you walk into a conversation that Spencer is having with Emily at his desk.
"You're not gonna believe this," he says, turning to you and lifting his hands dramatically. "Some moron just posted a blog called 'What would Carl Sagan do?' and it's completely illogical."
"L/N, what did I miss?"
You spin around to see Derek strutting into the bullpen, his phone held up in his hand.
"What do you mean?" you ask with a frown.
He looks at you expectantly, and you start to feel like you're on the outside of something you should know. "All the emails from Hotch..."
You yank your phone from your pocket and refresh your email. "I don't have any new ones."
"Me neither," Reid chimes in from next to you.
Derek doesn't wait another moment before he's barreling past you and up the stairs to Aaron's office.
"What was that about?" Spencer asks, a confused look on his face.
"I don't know," you say honestly, "but I think we're gonna find out soon."
~
"You wanted to see me?"
He nods and you step into his office, shutting the door behind you. Ever since his private conversation with Derek this morning, you've been obnoxiously curious about what's been going on with the team, but you also know when not to overstep your boundaries.
"Take a seat." He beckons to the couch on the far wall, and he sits down across from you when you plop down. "We have to talk about something."
"If you say Strauss suspended you again-" He cuts you off with a lift of his hand. You look at him sheepishly and nod. "You were saying..."
"This is going to sound odd, but just hear me out." You're starting to get worried, but he doesn't look anxious, so that's a start. You nod, and he continues. "The bureau thinks that my ability to lead this team has been compromised. They've been questioning me since Foyet's attack, and they're not entirely wrong."
You want to refute this, but you've also been questioning some of his actions as of late. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that you won't have his back if it comes down to it. "They can't fire you. The whole team will fight back if they even try."
He looks at you with something that resembles concern. Concern? "They won't fire me...because I'm stepping down."
"What?" you burst out, unable to help your volume. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm resigning as unit chief at the end of the week, but I'm not leaving this team."
You think you have an idea of where this is going, but his eyes are still tracking your movements, like they do when he's worried about how you'll react. You don't know how it could get much worse than this, but then you realize he hasn't told you who will be replacing him.
"I told Morgan to take my place until we catch Foyet."
There it is. You don't expect it to sting as much as it does. "Oh."
Your voice sounds small to your own ears, and you clear your throat to keep the emotion out. This isn't a personal decision, it's professional. If Strauss was telling you this now, it probably wouldn't faze you. So why does it hurt coming from him?
"Strauss wasn't happy with your decision to not take the New York position," he explains, his eyes finding yours. "You know I think you deserve more leadership roles. It was her that suggested Morgan for it, and I couldn't argue when she was already so unsure about letting me promote internally."
"I get it," you nod. Your tone a bit sharper than expected, even though you understand where the decision came from. Derek deserves this position too. "I do, I promise."
He raises his eyebrows with a check in, and after a moment, you finally nod. It's okay. We're good.
"I'll see you in the morning?"
You dip your chin. "Good night."
***
"I can't believe Hotch is stepping down."
Penelope, Emily, Spencer, and JJ are all unabashedly watching Derek as he briefs Strauss on the case he chose for today. You've been trying not to look, but every few minutes, something snags your attention.
"Morgan said it's business as usual," Emily adds, her brow furrowed as she watches them converse.
Penelope doesn't seem eased. "So we're just supposed to move forward without any discussion?"
Spencer shrugs. "After Foyet, I think we'd have to be ready for anything."
Derek finishes speaking with Strauss then, and you stand up as he asks Emily to call Rossi for the briefing. He looks official with his ironed button-down, and you can't help but wonder if he's trying to emulate Aaron.
You flash him a cheeky smile as he walks towards the conference room, but he just brushes past you. 
~
Derek steps into his new role effectively, and you even notice him provide extra feedback to everyone throughout the case. Hotch has a bit of a difficult time stepping down at first, but you know it comes from habit, not distrust.
When you're back at the office later that night, you look up to see that he is still in his office, furiously jotting something down, even though his responsibilities have been greatly diminished. You don't know why you expected the demotion to make him want to cut back a bit.
Derek is the only person still in the bullpen when you take a seat again. You finished up the last of your paperwork, so you start to pack up your stuff, but then your interaction from earlier crosses your mind again.
Latching your bag closed, you stand up and perch on the edge of Derek's desk. "Hey, boss, how's the responsibility feel?"
"Fine," he mutters, his tone snippier than you've ever heard it.
"A lot more paperwork than you were expecting, huh?"
He doesn't look at you, so you reach forward to tap the back of his hand. "Derek, come on, what's going on with you?"
You brace for him to snap at you again, but then he just sighs, setting his pen down. "You're not angry with me, right?"
"What?" You don't know where this is coming from, seeing as how he's been the one who's been avoiding you all day. "Why would I be mad at you?"
"Why?" he repeats, his face twisted with disbelief. "I basically stole this position out from under you."
You shake your head forcefully, putting your hand over his on the desk. "Not even close, hon. Anything on my end was bureau politics, but that's just one side of it. You deserve this just as much as I would have. You've even been at the BAU longer than I have."
He's silent for a moment, before he turns his hand under yours and clasps it gently. You give his hand a squeeze before bringing your other one up to his cheek. "You're doing a great job. You were an amazing leader out there today. Hotch picked you well."
Derek leans into your hand for a beat, before letting out another sigh. "Thanks."
"Seriously, Derek," you say with a smile. "This might have been one of his best professional decisions yet."
That makes him laugh, before shaking his head. "Nah, his best decision was bringing you to this team."
Your chest fills with warmth and you lean forward to pull him into a hug. His arms are strong as they wrap around you, and you settle into the hug, turning away from the office light upstairs and trying to ignore the fact that Aaron hasn't looked up from his desk since you started talking.
***
"Agent Hotchner, before you go, there's one final thing I'd like to share with you."
Karl Arnold, the Fox, has been taunting each of you throughout the whole day, and right when you finally thought you were done, he drew you right back in. You follow Hotch and Prentiss back into the interrogation room.
"So you think you found my admirer."
"No," Aaron says simply. "We found the killer."
Arnold grins. "With my help, of course."
"Your admirer is exactly like everyone who contacts you..." Emily sneers, "lost."
Arnold turns to her, and the look in his eyes makes your skin crawl. "My love, your guy is far from lost."
Hotch shakes his head, turning to the door. "We're done."
"So is he." All three of you spin back around, much to his amusement. "'Look at what I have done.' It's quite brilliant, you know?"
"We will find whoever sent you that."
"No, Agent Hotchner, I rather think he's already found you."
Aaron immediately starts flipping through the file on the table, shoving pictures and papers aside as he searches for something. Something about Arnold's tone sends your mind reeling and you grab the journal in front of you and start flipping through it as well.
"What's going on?" Emily asks, coming up behind you.
Arnold just laughs. "He's torturing him."
"Who?"
He ignores her. "It's great to see you squirm, Agent Hotchner."
You reach one of the bookmarked pages, and the symbol that greets you almost makes you drop the journal. "Aaron..."
His eyes snap to your hands as his skin turns white. "Foyet."
The three of you rush out of the interrogation room, accompanied by the disturbing sound of Arnold's laughter echoing behind you.
Just before the door shuts behind you, you hear his final words. "He knew you'd come."
***
The whole team spends days with only one goal in mind: find and capture Foyet. JJ works with you and Garcia to track prescription medications that he would be on given his self-inflicted injuries, and Spencer, Emily, and Aaron put together a geographic profile using the letters from the Fox and the proximity of nearby pharmacies. Derek's role as acting unit chief keeps him busy all on its own, but he manages to keep the team on track as he turns any new cases that come in to other teams.
When JJ returns from a local pharmacy with the discovery that many prescription meds have over-the-counter alternatives, the focus shifts. Garcia narrows down the list, and brings back a list of names that is way too long to feasibly question.
"153 names," you huff, leaning over her shoulder as she scrolls down the list.
Emily frowns. "Well, he's not gonna use his own name."
"What kind of aliases should we be looking for?"
You all consider this, before Derek chimes in. "He could have easily stolen someone's identity."
Hotch shuts that idea down immediately. "No, he's a narcissist in love with his own mythology. He'd use a name connected with the case."
"A victim, maybe," you guess, "or a cop?"
Garcia doesn't find anything on the initial search, but thankfully Spencer suggests another approach. "Guys, Foyet likes things to have meaning to him. The eye of providence, the addresses in blood he wrote on the bus that led us back to him. Maybe he's doing the same thing with the alias."
Emily frowns. "Like an anagram or something?"
Spencer walks over to the white board and writes out George Foyet, before fiddling around with the spellings of possible anagrams. You walk up behind him and follow his movements along the board. "You see something, Spence?"
He shakes his head. "Not yet."
"Spencer," you interrupt as the realization comes to you, "he named himself The Reaper."
He pauses for a beat, before switching over to scrawling out possible anagrams for The Reaper instead. After a moment, he's done. "Peter Rhea."
Penelope is already searching. "There's a Peter Rhea in Arlington."
Rossi nods, a satisfied look on his face. "We found him."
***
Garcia sends out the address of an apartment in his name, and you drive over with Hotch, who doesn't say a word the whole way over. You keep glancing at him, trying to be discreet, but the tension in his posture doesn't fade, even after the breakthrough.
The apartment ends up being empty, but when you all go inside, there's a laptop sitting on the center table. Emily dials Garcia the moment you realize that the files on it are being remotely deleted, and when she hacks in, she comes across a series of surveillance photos that make you gasp out loud. "Oh my god, isn't that-"
"That's the US Marshall protecting my family." His face looks frozen with stress as he dials Marshall Kassmeyer's number. When the call goes to voicemail, Aaron stalks out of the apartment and to the SUVs parked out front. He doesn't wait for you to get in, before he's already driving off.
"Where is he going?" Emily calls out as she exits the building behind you.
"Kassmeyer's house," you say, almost certain that you're correct. With the knowledge that his family is most likely in immediate danger, there is nothing anyone could do to stop him from trying to save them. "I'm gonna follow him."
"Here," Rossi says, tossing his car keys to you. You accept them gratefully and speed off down the road.
~
Kassmeyer is bleeding out when you get to his house. Aaron is already inside, trying to get him to explain what happened, and when he describes how Foyet taunted him and stabbed him, you resist the urge to take Aaron's hand.
"Sam," he says suddenly, leaning over him. "I need to understand. Does he know where Jack and Haley are?"
Your heart rate skyrockets as Kassmeyer mumbles another apology. If Foyet knows where they are, you don't know if any of you will be able to get there in time.
The paramedics rush in then, and they carry Sam out to the awaiting ambulance as he refuses sedation. Aaron runs out after them and throws himself into the back of the ambulance before you can catch up.
~
Without any new leads, there's nowhere for you to go, so you wait out front in your SUV as you wrack your brain for where Foyet would have told Haley and Jack to go. You don't know how long it takes until another agent calls you from the hospital with the news that Marshall Kassmeyer died in surgery.
The news hits you like a ton of bricks. One more body you can attribute to The Reaper. "Is Agent Hotchner there?"
The voice is tinny over the line. "He took one of the SUVs and left a few minutes ago."
"Where?" You can hear how frantic your voice sounds, but you don't care. "Where did he go?"
"I'm not sure," the agent says. "He sped away before anyone could ask."
You hang up the phone and turn the car on, before pulling onto the street and calling the team line. Garcia picks up on the first ring.
"Sam died in surgery," you explain as you turn at the end of the street. "Hotch is already gone, but I'm gonna go to the hospital now in case someone has more info."
"Okay, honey," she says, patching in the rest of the team. When they answer, she repeats your statement, before she gets cut off. "Guys, Hotch is calling Foyet."
"Patch us in," Derek instructs over the line, before going silent. You mute yourself as well, before turning back to the road.
"Agent Hotchner."
Foyet's voice makes you nauseous, and you can practically hear the grin behind his words.
"If you touch her..." Aaron doesn't even finish the threat, but you can feel the rage within it.
"Be gentle, like I was with you?"
Your eyes prick with tears as you remember the scars that are now a permanent fixture on his body. The matching scars. The idea of Haley ending up the same way, or Jack-
"What the hell took you so long?" Foyet complains, his tone playful. "I was beginning to think this phone was dead or something."
Aaron doesn't answer him, and the anger is almost palpable over the line.
"Why so quiet? You usually lash out when you're frustrated."
"I'm not frustrated," he finally responds. "You're more predictable than you think."
"Am I?"
He starts to recount the tale of Foyet's life, weaving in details that you didn't know from his childhood and the pain he was causing before he was even old enough to drive. You suppose this was what all of those late nights at the office were for. You hope they were worth it.
"That's the thing, George," he continues, his voice suddenly softer. It's like he's pleading with him. "This isn't a fairy tale. You don't have to write this story. Haven't you gotten what you wanted?"
There's silence for a few moments, and you can hear your heartbeat in your skull. Eventually Foyet comes back. "You know what I've been thinking? Haley looks pretty good with dark hair."
Your heart falls into your stomach. He has her. He already has her.
"She's lost some weight. Must be all the stress you caused her."
Just when you think that might be the worst of it, he continues. "Where's the little man? Oh. There he is. Does he like Captain America because of you?"
He has them both. You can barely see the road through the anger and fear that is coursing through your veins. Another phone rings and Foyet answers it, leaving his line with Hotch on as well. "Mrs. Hotchner. I'm here. Open the gate and I'll drive in."
You can't hear her reply, before Foyet returns to the call you're listening to. "Aaron? I really gotta go."
The call disconnects, and you can't breathe. Open the gate. The gate. What gate?
Think, think, goddamnit think.
The answer hits you like a truck. "His house. They're at his old house."
Emily whispers something that sounds like "shit" and you swerve across the lanes to make a u-turn. "I'm heading there now."
Assuming Aaron was already heading back after leaving the hospital, he would reach the house before any of you. You can only hope he'll be there in time.
Your knuckles have turned white from how hard you're gripping the steering wheel, and when Garcia patches you all in for another call from Foyet, the tears are already flowing down your cheeks.
"Aaron?"
It's Haley's voice. You gasp out loud from the relief that she's still alive.
"You're okay?" She sounds so scared, but at least she's alive. That's all you can focus on right now.
Aaron answers with a defeated sigh. "I'm fine."
"But...he said that..." The realization hits her, and she lets out a small sob. "Oh, Aaron."
"He can hear us, right?"
"Yes."
His voice is softer then, wet with tears. "I am so sorry. Haley, show him no weakness, no fear."
"I know." Of course she does. She was married to a profiler for years. She knows what all of this means, but she doesn't deserve any of it. "Sam told me all about him. Is he, uh..."
"No," he says gently. "Sam is fine."
Foyet's voice is like the hiss of a snake as it joins the call. "Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Is that why your marriage broke up, because you're a liar?" His voice is too close to the phone. You want to scream for him to get away from her, but you're not supposed to be listening, and your car isn't moving fast enough.
"He's trying to scare you, Haley." His voice is trembling, and you can hear the tightness behind each of his words.
When Foyet mentions the deal, your stomach roils with nausea. You can picture the exact look on Aaron's face as he blames himself for this entire situation, even though it's happening to him, not because of him.
"Don't react."
Haley's voice is shaking too as she whispers, "What is he talking about?"
"Tell Jack I need him working the case."
"What?" She sounds confused, and that's when you remember the signal he told you about. The words that only Jack knows that are meant to keep him safe from situations exactly like this.
"Tell Jack I need him working the case," he repeats, his voice steadier. But all of it goes away the moment Haley hands her son the phone.
"Hi, Daddy."
"Hi, buddy." His voice cracks and you feel your heart crack with it. The tears are rushing down your cheeks now, and you wipe them out of your eyes with the back of your hand as you get closer to the house. But not close enough.
Aaron tells him to work the case again, and he gives Haley a hug before rushing out of the room.
"He's so cute. He's like a little junior G-Man." Foyet chuckles, before yelling out. "I'll be right up, Jackie boy!"
Aaron ignores him, and you feel his focus return. "Is he gone?"
"Yes." Haley's voice is strong, and you release a single sigh of relief as you press the gas pedal down as hard as you can.
Aaron's voice returns and you can hear the anguish as he speaks. "You're so strong, Haley. You're stronger than I ever was."
"You'll hurry, right?" The fear in her voice breaks your heart, and you want to assure her that you're all doing everything you can, but you're still a few streets away.
"I know you didn't sign on for this."
Neither did you.
She echoes your thoughts. "Neither did you."
His voice breaks into a sob. "I'm sorry for everything."
"Promise me that you will tell him how we met and how you used to make me laugh."
"Haley..."
"He needs to know that you weren't always so serious, Aaron." Her words sound so final, and you can't imagine what Foyet is pointing at her right now, but you can only hope that Aaron gets there before it's too late. "I want him to believe in love, because it is the most important thing. But you need to show him." She sounds almost resolute, and your body floods with hope for a split second. "Promise me."
His breathing is ragged as he whispers, "I promise."
Three gunshots ring out and the wheel jerks in your hand as a painful sob wrenches from your throat. No, no, no.
~
You race out of your car the moment you pull to a stop in front of the house. There's only one other SUV outside, and you don't give yourself a moment to think as you rush inside, lifting your gun at the last second.
The front foyer is empty, but then a jagged thumping fills the air and you dart around the corner to find Aaron beating Foyet to a pulp. You can tell from where you're standing that he's already dead, but that doesn't seem to matter to him.
"Aaron!" you yell, hoping to break his reverie. His hands are covered in blood as he pounds the man's face in, and he doesn't look up until you grab him from behind and yank his arms back. "Aaron, he's dead. He's dead."
He stops moving, and for one single second, everything is still. Then his body pitches forward and he breaks down as he sobs, his hands coming up like he's begging for the pain to go away.
You clutch him as tightly as you can, like if you hold him close enough, he won't fall apart. You can hear the voices of your teammates as they enter the house, but then his head lifts and he pulls himself up, dashing down the hall. You follow after him, rushing past Morgan and Rossi, and you realize where he's going in real time as he runs into his office and kneels down beside his desk.
Please, please, not him. Just not him. He opens the cabinet and you all share a gasp of relief as Jack's little face peeks out, his skin unmarred.
"I worked the case, Daddy. Just like you said."
Aaron reaches in and picks him up, before squeezing him tightly, his little face glancing around the room in confusion.
"You did a great job, buddy." He releases him after a few moments, before handing him off to JJ to go outside and away from the carnage littering the house. You press a kiss to his forehead before she lifts him up and walks out of the room.
Emily looks at you then, concern flashing in her eyes, but you just nod, and she follows JJ, pulling the door closed behind her.
You turn back around just in time to catch Aaron as he collapses to the floor. The weight sends you both to your knees, and he crushes you to him as you hold him as tightly as you can. His sobs mix in with your own, and you try not to let your body shake from the force of your crying, because you need to be strong for him.
He buries his face into your neck, his tears mixing with the blood on his face as it soaks your shirt and vest.
"I'm so sorry," you whisper into his hair. It doesn't feel like enough, but there's nothing else to say. "I'm so sorry."
~
Derek and Emily come back with the paramedics eventually to take him outside to check for injuries, and you're about to follow after them when something catches your eye. A pair of feet invade your periphery as you glance through a doorway down the hall. Oh god.
Your knees buckle and Derek catches you before you stumble forward into her room. You fall to your knees beside her, and you vaguely hear Emily whisper something behind you before there's just silence.
Her eyes are already closed, and if you really wanted to, you could try to pretend that she was just sleeping, but there's too much blood. You reach out to push her short hair back from her forehead, so that you can see her face one last time. One last time.
A sob rips out of you and you take her hand, pressing it to your lips. The scene is suddenly too much, and you close your eyes before letting out a shaky breath. You don't know what your life is going to look like without her presence. What Aaron's life with look like, or Jack's.
You squeeze her hand again before laying it on her stomach, and Emily comes forward then to help you up. Derek holds the door open as she leads you outside, and helps you tear your vest off the moment you hit the fresh afternoon air.
You bend over, hands on your knees, gulping back fresh air and trying not to throw up. Emily pats your back as you take in deep breaths, rubbing comforting circles that help to calm down your heart rate.
When you look up, you spot Aaron sitting on the edge of an ambulance. The medics are cleaning his cuts, and one of them is holding an ice pack to his head, when you walk over to survey the damage.
He doesn't look up when you approach, instead staring at his bloody hands with a look you can't discern. You can't imagine what he must be thinking right now, but if you know him at all, you know that sometimes you don't need to talk.
You reach down and take his hands, holding them in yours with a tight grip that forces him to look at you. Neither of you says anything, but it's okay, because there is nothing left to say. There will be soon, but not right now.
***
"We'll be back in a couple of hours," Jess tells you as she slings her purse over her shoulder.
You nod at her as you pick Jack off the ground and swing him up into your arms. "Take your time. We'll be hanging out here."
Aaron beckons for Jess to walk out in front of him before he dips his chin at you. "Thank you again."
"Of course," you smile, shaking your head. They're going to make the last arrangements for the funeral, and the absolute least you can do is watch Jack while they're away.
"Can we watch cartoons?" Jack asks the moment the front door shuts behind them.
"Soon, baby," you laugh lightly, before placing him on the ground and leading him to the kitchen. "We gotta make lunch first."
You throw together two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bring them to the breakfast table, where Jack is obediently scribbling away at his coloring book. "Here you go, Jack-o-lantern."
He takes a massive bite before you can sit down, but over the next ten minutes, he only manages to finish about half of the sandwich. "I'm done."
"You sure?" you ask, scrunching your face into a playful frown. "I think you got at least a couple more bites in you."
He shakes his head forcefully, before dropping the sandwich onto his plate. You know he doesn't usually eat much, but he hasn't eaten since breakfast hours ago. "Come on, hon, at least another big bite."
"No!" he yells, pushing the plate away from him. Before you can stop him, he jumps off of his chair and races out of the kitchen, towards his bedroom.
You hear the door slam shut behind him, and you heave out a sigh before clearing away both of your plates and wiping down the counter. You don't fault him for anything, you just can't believe he has to go through something like this.
He's so young. Younger than you were when you lost your mom. There's some comfort in the fact that he likely won't remember this pain when he's older, but then comes the nausea. The sickening reminder that one day he'll forget about her. Haley, his mother, your best friend's wife, your friend.
You slowly make your way to his room, knocking on the door twice before calling out his name. When he doesn't answer, you twist the knob and gently open the door. "Jack?"
He doesn't say anything as you cross the room and sit on the floor in front of him. He's fiddling around with a set of colorful wooden blocks, and he only looks at you once you pick one up yourself. The edges have been worn smooth from being tossed around, and you run your fingers against them as you wait for him to speak.
"Did Mommy want to leave?"
You can practically hear your heart crack in two as the block falls from your hand. Tears spring to your eyes, but you blink them back, not wanting to scare him.
"No, baby, no," you say quickly, reaching forward to rub your thumb over his cheek. "She loved you more than anything in this world."
He still doesn't look convinced, so you rest your palms on his cheeks, trying to get him to look at you. "If it was her choice, she would have never left you."
After a moment, his lips jut out into a pout, but he nods once. "Is Daddy gonna leave too?"
The tears rush forward again. You want to tell him that Aaron would never leave him, that he may be gone most nights until after Jack is asleep, and sometimes even before he's up for breakfast, but he would never leave. But you also know that Haley didn't want to either, but sometimes the job takes more than you're willing to give. "He's not going to leave you. Not if he can help it."
That seems to calm him down for the time being, so you take his hand and lead him back to the living room. Once he's situated on the couch, you switch on his cartoons for him, turning the volume down low.
He settles into the cushion next to you, his arm resting on your thigh as he focuses on the screen in front of him, while your eyes wander down to the small tv stand. They land on a framed photo of Haley and Jess together, smiling at the camera as the sun shines down on their faces, and you lift your hand to your mouth to stifle the tears that rush forward.
When your eyes pan over to the photo of you and her, with Aaron and Jess right behind you, the tears stream down your cheeks, and you wipe them away quickly, trying to be quiet so as not to call away Jack's attention. But the cartoons are too quiet, and when a small sob escapes, Jack looks up, his brow furrowing with a look reminiscent of his father. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay, baby," you nod, forcing a smile onto your face as you look down at him and press a kiss to his temple. "I just loved your mom very much."
***
The ground is still wet from the rain. It squelches beneath your feet as Jess clutches onto your arm, letting you lead her across the cemetery for the service.
You walk behind the pallbearers as they bring Haley to the top of the open grass and set her down carefully with a reverence that brings tears to your eyes again. You don't know if your eyes have been dry at any moment today, but the tears haven't spilled over yet. It's only a matter of time.
Aaron is ahead of everyone, looking down at the small sheet of paper in his hands, with Jack by his side. The young boy looks so small in his suit, and his eyes dart around the procession with a mix of confusion and sadness that pierces your chest.
When Aaron is ready to begin, Jessica lets go and walks up to stand on his other side, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. Your arm feels cold where she used to be, but it doesn't last long as another hand takes its place. You turn your head to see Spencer, one hand on his cane, and the other on your arm, as he holds you tightly to his side, his eyes brimming with tears as well. You don't expect that there's a dry eye in the crowd.
Aaron starts his speech with a quote, but the steadiness in his voice starts to waver the moment he says her name. "Haley was my best friend since we were in high school."
You remember how fiercely he loved her, even back then. The tenacity with which he pursued her when he realized that she was someone he wanted to spend his life with.
His voice continues as his eyes dip down. "We certainly had our struggles, but if there's one thing we agreed on unconditionally, it was our love and commitment to our son Jack." Your tears surface again, but you suck them back with a deep breath. "Haley's love for Jack was joyous and fierce. That fierceness is why she isn't here today."
Aaron looks up then, and his eyes land on the casket in front of him. "A mother's love is an unrivaled force of nature. And we can all learn much from the way Haley lived her life."
His hand flexes at his side, and you wish desperately that you were up there with him, holding his hand like he held yours when your mother died.
"I will make sure that Jack grows up knowing who his mother was and how she loved and protected him and how much I loved her."
His voice breaks and he reaches into his pocket for the scrap of paper he was looking at earlier. "I met Haley at the tryouts of our high school's production of 'The Pirates of Penzance'. I found our copy of the play and was looking through it the other night, and I came upon a passage that seemed appropriate for this moment."
The quote comes back to you as he recites it, and your mind flashes back to those adolescent afternoons when you would watch him make a fool of himself trying to impress Haley at play practice. You can't help yourself as the tears finally fall, and you feel Spencer squeeze your hand tightly, acting as the lifeline you so earnestly need.
When he finishes his speech, everyone comes forward to place white roses on her casket before it is lowered into the ground. You wait as the crowd slowly dissipates, as everyone heads to the repast, and you hold Jess's hand while Aaron picks Jack up, holding him tightly.
"Blow Mommy a kiss," he whispers, before leaning over to let Jack place a rose on the casket.
His brow furrows as he straightens again, and you watch as the familiar stoicism returns to his posture. He isn't pushing all of his emotions down, exactly. He's just tucking them away, so as to be there for his son, who needs a solid figure in his life, now more than ever.
And that's what he'll be.
***
The repast is bustling with people from all eras of Haley's life, and you sit with the team at a large table, staring at your plate of food. When Dave pulls Aaron outside to talk, you watch them leave, noting the stiffness in his shoulders as he's forced to leave Jack with Jess again. She has been nothing but grateful to see her nephew more often than usual, but nonetheless, he wears his guilt like a jagged scar across his face.
Penelope clutches your hand under the table and you give her a weak nod, unable to do more with all of the energy drained from you.
"It was a beautiful service," Emily says, her eyes big and soft as they look at you.
You nod again, before turning back to your full plate. You can't bear the thought of stomaching any food right now.
Then just when you think the day can't get any worse, Derek and JJ's phones chirp with a message at the same time. No. No.
"They can't be calling us in," Emily sighs, her lips thinning, "not tonight."
JJ shakes her head. "I'm on it." She returns from her phone call a minute later with a forlorn look. "There's no other team available."
Derek gets up with a sigh. "I'll get Rossi."
When he returns with Dave, leaving Aaron alone on the deck, you squeeze Penelope's hand before walking outside. The air is cold, and you wrap your shawl tighter around your shoulders as you approach him.
"It's okay," he says before you can open your mouth. "I'll see you when you get back."
Mind reader, you think for a split second.
He has already given you the blessing you assumed you needed when you came out here, but it still doesn't feel right. "I don't want to go."
"It's your job," he shrugs. Like it's that simple. "It's okay."
"Are you sure?" You won't be able to do your job with him here, but even less so if you're feeling guilty the whole time. "I can take time off."
"No," he says quietly, shaking his head. He looks out into the night air, and you take his hand, squeezing it between both of yours. "It'll be good for me to have some time with Jack."
You can understand that. You pull him into a hug, before dipping your chin into a nod and leaving him out there again.
***
His return to work hasn't been easy. When Strauss gave him the option to retire with full pension and benefits, it should have been an easy decision, but something was tugging at his gut, telling him that would be the wrong choice.
Now he's sitting in his office, and all of his recent life choices are swirling around him like a hurricane ready to close in. He misses Jack like he's missing a limb, and he feels terrible for how often he's been relying on Jess to take care of him, even though she readily offered her help.
His emotions are a tumbling mess, and he doesn't notice that his fingers have been tapping the edge of his desk until you enter his office.
"Coffee?" He looks up with a nod, accepting the steaming cup you hand him, before you flop down on the couch across from him. "What are you thinking about?"
He swallows back a scalding gulp that likely scorched his throat on the way down. He wants to push his emotions down and say something quippy that won't distract you for more than a few moments, but tonight he needs reassurance more than he's willing to admit. "Did I come back too early?"
He expects an immediate and bombastic denial, but you just sit there, stirring your black coffee as you tuck your legs under you. "I can't decide that for you."
It's a diplomatic answer, but he needs guidance, and he doesn't have anyone else to go to. Not that he would go to anyone else even if he did. "Do you think I'm jeopardizing the team by being here?"
This time, the answer is immediate. "Of course not. You've been doing your job effectively, and no one can say otherwise."
He pauses for a moment, ruminating over your words. He knows he's not asking the right questions. He's just delaying until he has to accept what he's feeling.
With a shaky breath, he sets his coffee down and looks at you. "Am I jeopardizing my family by being here?"
Your brows pinch. "Jack will be okay. He's young, and he'll miss you, but you're his hero, Aaron. He loves you because you keep him safe."
"But I'm never home." His voice sounds ragged to his own ears, and he's certain you can hear the pain clawing out of his throat. "How am I doing my job as a father if I'm never there?"
"Aaron," you whisper, drawing his eyes back to yours. "You're keeping him safe by catching the bad guys. He knows that. And that's what he needs." You fix him with a look that makes his back straighten. "Okay?"
After a moment, he nods. "Okay."
***
"Hi, Hales."
You sink down onto the bench in front of her headstone, before pulling the baggie of peach rings you brought from your pocket. They were the only candy you liked from your high school's vending machine, and the two of you would share them between classes during your senior year.
"I should've come sooner, but work's been really busy."
You've only visited her once since the funeral six months ago, and you wish you could've come by more, but sometimes being here is just too much. It's too stark of a reminder that she's never coming back.
You pop another peach ring in your mouth, before breaking into a grin. "Jack's growing up so fast. He's so resilient, it's amazing." He has already adjusted to living in his father's apartment full time, and he seems to like hanging out with you or Jess whenever he's stuck at work late. "I wish you could be here to see it all."
You wish for a lot of things these days. The loss seems to keep piling up, and you don't know what to do or how to feel most of the time, but time keeps passing. And with it, so does the grief.
"Aaron's starting to get better too." You don't know what you believe, but a part of you suspects she knows all of this already. "The transition back was hard on all of us, but he doesn't look as defeated all the time anymore." Your lip twitches. "He even smiles at my jokes sometimes."
You swear you hear her laughter over the rustling of the wind, but it's probably just in your head. "Anyway, I just wanted to come see you. Let you know how much we miss you."
You stand up, grabbing the bouquet from next to you, and walk over to the headstone. Without thinking, you reach into your bag of candy and drop a peach ring into the dirt. It feels juvenile, even as you're doing it, but you can't help yourself. She would find it funny. You know she would.
You tuck the rest into your pocket and walk across the grass to another row of stones. It's not a quick stroll, but it gives you enough time to take a few deep breaths before you face him again.
Jeff Adler. The letters jump out at you like flashing lights, and you blink a few times as the magnitude of your loss washes over you. So many lives, so much love and warmth gone from your life.
Bending down, you place the bouquet of carnations in front of his headstone, before kissing your fingertips and pressing them to his name.
***
"You've got to be kidding."
He just shrugs, but there's a small smile tugging at his lips. You make sure to keep your voice down as you toss your cards into the center pile and lean back against the bottom of his couch.
After putting Jack to bed, neither of you could think of anything quiet to do until Aaron pulled out a deck of cards from below the tv stand.
"I hate that you're so good at this," you grumble, watching as he deftly splits the deck and starts shuffling again. This being Go Fish.
"You're good, too," he concedes, flashing you an amused look that you don't share.
"Yeah, but you're better."
"As with most things."
You throw a card at him, but he dodges it easily. When he's finished shuffling, he deals out a card, before pausing. "We can play something else if you don't think you can beat me."
"Just deal the cards."
He lets out a low laugh and deals out another card, just as both of your cellphones chirp at the same time. You share a look before dropping the cards on the table. He stands first and gives you a hand up, which you accept.
"I'll call Jess," you whisper as he strides over to his bedroom to get his go-bag. You dial her quickly, and get the confirmation that she's coming over, before grabbing your own bag and heading out to his car.
***
"Sorry to ruin your night."
Everyone is in casual clothing when you walk into the briefing room with Aaron on your heels. JJ shoots you an apologetic look which quickly turns to surprise when Rossi walks in wearing a full tux.
"What, are you working on, wife number 4?" Derek laughs as he sets his bag down.
Dave just grumbles. "I see you people way too much."
"I hear that," you grin before taking your usual seat between Aaron and Spencer.
"Let's get started." JJ hands out the case files and clicks the screen on. "All right. Anchorage field office is asking us to investigate a series of murders in Franklin, Alaska. There's 3 people dead in less than a week."
You scan the file as fast as you can, but Spencer beats you to it. "For a town with a population of 1,476, that's fairly significant."
JJ nods. "It's their first murder investigation on record."
"Who are the victims?" Dave asks, his eyes darting back and forth between the file and the screen.
JJ looks down at her notes. "Uh, Jon Baker, a hunter. Dedaimia Swanson, a schoolteacher. Brenda Bright, the first mate on a fishing boat. There's a new victim every 2 days."
Everyone seems to be thinking the same thing, but Emily gives it a voice. "Any connections?"
"Unfortunately, in a town this small, everyone's connected."
When JJ finishes up the briefing, Aaron stands up and grabs his bag. "We'll fly out tonight. Everybody can sleep on the plane. Garcia, I need you with us."
She shoots him a confused look. "Sir?"
"I've tasked a satellite uplink and it's your job to keep us connected."
"Yes, sir."
"This town's already on the brink," he continues with a sigh, "and if this pattern continues, we've only got another day until the next murder. Let's finish this fast."
***
After barely getting any sleep on the plane ride over, and a long day in the cold, the team holes up in the lobby of a local inn, warming up around the fire.
"I'm gonna pull an all-nighter," Garcia announces when you stifle a yawn behind your fist. "I'll finish going through the town records. Should have background checks by sunrise."
"Good," Aaron nods, sitting up on the couch. "The rest of us should get some sleep, start fresh in the morning."
At his suggestion, the innkeeper steps out from behind her desk. "I've got four of the upstairs rooms available."
"Uh, 4?" Spencer squeaks, his eyes darting around the room.
"Come on," the sheriff sighs as he stands up, "that's the best we can do. Your team is double the size of my department." He glances at Aaron and they share a nod. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night."
The sheriff walks out of the inn and you lean back on the couch, turning your head to the side to look at Aaron. The question in your eyes is implicit. What's the plan?
"It looks like we'll have to double up," Emily answers for you, her lips stretching into a grin.
Derek speaks up immediately. "I'm not sleeping with Reid."
Penelope reaches over and grabs Derek's arm. "Dibs."
Emily and JJ stand together and head upstairs, and you glance at Aaron with a nod. "Let's find one of the double rooms before Emily snags it."
"Guess it's you and me, kid," Dave says to Spencer as you grab a key from the front desk and pick up your bag. The inn is so small that all of your rooms end up being in the same hallway. You leave the door open behind you as you step inside and toss your bag onto the nearest bed.
Aaron enters after you and locks the door, before wordlessly moving your bag to the other bed, away from the door. It takes you less than a second to realize why. His protective nature was always strong, but over the past year, it has kicked into overdrive, especially around you and Jack.
"Do you want first shower?" you ask as you unzip your bag and pull out a tee shirt and some sleep shorts.
"You take it," he says, shaking his head. The chilliness of the outside air hasn't left your bones, so you don't wait for him to change his mind before grabbing your toiletries and rushing into the bathroom.
While you're in the shower, Aaron takes his time fluffing out the comforter and pillows on his bed. The room itself isn't very spacious, but he doesn't mind sharing with you. The close quarters remind him of his youth when he would sneak into your room late at night to get away from his family. Just the sight of the lights through your bedroom window used to bring him peace. When he glances over at your side of the room, a tranquility washes over him, and he realizes that the feeling hasn't really gone away.
"Your turn," you say a little later when you emerge from the bathroom. Your skin is still slightly damp, and your cheeks are pink from the heat of the shower, and he has to tear his eyes away as he nods and steps around you.
The tiny mirror in the bathroom is still steamy when he shuts the door behind him and pulls off his shirt, and he lifts his hand to wipe it off, before pausing. His scars aren't something he likes to think about often, but after saving Jack, they took on a different image in his mind. He felt less like a victim.
He rubs his hand against the mirror to wipe off some of the condensation, and his reflection looks tense as it stares back at him. Back in the room, your presence felt warm and comfortable, but in here, with the steam fogging up the glass, and the scent of your perfume lingering in the air, something else roils in his gut.
It's a not-so-unfamiliar feeling that used to be commonplace when he was younger. It hadn't reared its head in years, but lately, it's been so much harder to push it down. When he sees how much his son loves you, how much he looks forward to finding you in his apartment when he gets back from a late meeting. It's been...hard.
He turns on the shower and steps in, letting the hot water wash away the notions tickling the edge of his brain. When he walks back into the room, you are tucked into your bed, the covers up to your chin.
"You look like a burrito," he notes with a small laugh.
You shrug, though it's barely visible from under the comforter. "I find this is the best way to keep out the Arctic chill that seems to have invaded our lodgings."
"Fair enough."
He slides into his own bed and clicks the switch on the wall to turn the lights off. He tries to sleep for a few minutes, but even though he's exhausted, it won't come.
It's dark enough that he can't see his fingers in front of his face, but the uneven sounds of your breathing let him know that you're still awake.
"You should really sleep," he whispers into the darkness.
"You first," you say after a moment, before your voice lowers. "How are you doing? How are you holding up, I mean."
"How are you doing?" he asks, knowing he's being unfair.
You don't let it slide this time. "You're deflecting."
"I know."
There's a pause before he finally concedes. "I think I'm okay. The normalcy is coming back, and Jack is doing a lot better, which helps immensely."
"Me too," you say after a beat.
He wants to let the subject go and try to sleep, but the words are pulling at his throat. "I miss her all the time."
"Me too," you repeat. You huff out a husky laugh, but there's no humor behind it. "God, me too."
There's a tinge of bitterness in your voice that he recognizes in himself, but it's not something he knows if he can explain. He remembers how a small part of you blamed Jeff after his death, but that's nothing like what he's feeling. He blames himself for everything but the act itself, knowing that if he had just gotten there quicker, or taken the deal, or taken the transfer-
His breath catches and he hears you rustle under your covers. He imagines you turning to face him, and as his eyes slowly adjust he sees that he was right.
"Do you remember that time in high school," he says suddenly, not entirely sure where he's going with this, "when I got detention."
"I'm gonna need you to be more specific."
He laughs, in spite of himself, and turns over to face you as well. You're so far away, but he can just barely make out your face from across the room. "When you broke me out."
Your laughter is sudden and it echoes around the small room as the memory hits you. "I do remember that. I told them your grandfather was in the hospital so that they would let you out. God, Mrs. Parker was so upset when she went to get you."
"I think my favorite part of the story was that both of my grandfathers died before I could walk."
You chuckle, your voice softer now. "I know."
His chest warms at the memory of the two of you running out to your car and driving to get a scoop of chocolate at your favorite ice cream shop. Even afterwards, you had driven around town for hours, without a complaint, and he hadn't mentioned the time once. It was so soon after his dad's death, and he hated going home for so many reasons. Sean hated him, and his mother was sad all of the time, and it was like you just knew.
"You were good at reading me," he whispers, almost to himself.
"Were good?" you ask with mock offense.
He snorts. "Fine, are good at reading me."
"That's more like it."
***
You drop your empty glass back on the table, feeling the burn of the liquor as you swallow it down. It's your second drink of the night, and while you usually don't indulge in more than one, you welcome the chance to let loose.
Everyone else seems to be in the same mindset, because JJ, Emily, and Penelope are in various states of drunkenness around the booth, and the men are either nursing a drink or driving.
"Let's dance," JJ shrieks, lifting her head off of Will's shoulder and pushing herself up from the booth.
"Hell yeah," Emily grins, pulling you and Penelope up with her.
JJ tries to corral the guys to join, but they all stay firmly seated. Dave and Will look content as they sip their whiskey, and Spencer doesn't budge, citing his leg hurting (a lie). After a bit of targeted shoving, Derek chuckles and gets up for one dance, following Penelope and JJ onto the dance floor.
"Aaaaaron," you slur, tugging his arm. He doesn't move even an inch, but the corner of his lip twitches when you don't give up.
"You used to dance in college," you point out with a frown.
Emily hoots as she saunters over to the floor. "This I need to see."
Aaron just shakes his head with a smile, and you eventually oblige, joining the ladies (and Derek) for a few dances. The dark atmosphere of the club has you feeling looser than you have in a long time, and after the next song, you join Dave over at the bar to get another drink.
You down half of it before you leave the counter, and by this point, JJ has coaxed Will out of his seat, while Spencer rushes off to find the bathroom. The tiredness hits you as soon as you finish the drink, and when you spot Aaron by himself at the booth, you glide back to keep him company.
He doesn't notice you at first as you walk over to him, and you can't help but register that he looks good in his undone button-down. You take another step forward and a thin glint of metal around his neck becomes visible. A jolt of heat shoots down your body and you set your glass down on a nearby table without looking as you approach him.
When you reach the edge of the bench, someone walking by bumps into you and you stumble forward. Aaron grabs onto you as you fall forward, and you end up crushed in his arms, your face just inches from his. Your thoughts cut out and you don't make a sound, your breaths coming out in quick spurts.
Neither one of you moves as you look at each other, so so close, so much closer than you've ever been, than you've ever gotten to be. The faintest impression of a thought - the thought - crosses the deepest edges of your mind as you lean in infinitesimally. He doesn't notice, and you barely register it either, but you can't help but notice how easy it would be to just close the gap and kiss him.
Kiss him?
Your brain short-circuits and you just barely manage to keep your eyes from widening. You have no idea where that came from, but then again, if you are honest with yourself, it has always been there, buried deep down beneath years of friendship and history.
The question invades your brain again, and this time, you're unable to stop it. What would it be like to kiss him?
You can't keep your breath from catching, and he pulls back immediately, tugging you to the side and depositing you on the booth beside him.
Your mouth falls open as you try to meet his eye. "Aaron-"
His head turns and he stands up, his eyes dark under the soft lighting. "I'm sorry."
Before you can get another word out, he's gone.
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witch-hazels-musings · 3 months
Text
a gesture
Warning -> fluff | reader gets a blister on their foot, genshin men notice and provide respite from the discomfort | pre-relationship (it's silly, and dumb, but let me have this)
Includes: Diluc, Xiao
Character X GN Reader (adventure guild reader*) | Anthology
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A-N: I was planning on writing for a few more characters, but I'm a bit slow in my genshin right now, plus I *should* be resting ... 人(_ _*)
Diluc
"Be right there!" you shouted over the calls echoing in the hall. Your hand dropped from your lips and back to the stack of rolled papers in your arms. The guild was busier than normal. Perhaps it was because of the snow fading from the streets, or the warmer wind blowing in from the south. Being surrounded by the lake meant damper and colder winters, but you didn't mind.
You loved the snow.
What you didn't love was returning to restrictive shoes now that the cobblestone streets were less barred by ice. You missed your warm fur-lined boots.
"Hey, got a few more requests for you to review," you told one of the auditors as you leaned onto the polished wood counter that separated you from the workers just inside. You tapped the toe of your shoe on the floor to force room between your heel and the leather rubbing against it. "Oh, and this came from Alfry." You reached into your pocket and handed a folded, sealed letter to the attendant.
After waiting for several minutes, and shifting from one foot to the other - relief waning and waxing - you made your way outside toward the Kiosk near the front of Mondstadt. It took a while, you were particularly slow on the stone steps of the city since each one put added pressure on your heels. You could feel a blister on the horizon.
Katheryne greeted you with a wave when she saw you.
She was, without a doubt, one of your favorite people. She didn't lock you in long, uninteresting conversations about her life outside of work. She just thanked you for the updated commissions and let you be on your way. You wished everyone was like Katheryne.
It wasn't that you hated talking to people. You just preferred to get your work done and found it distracting to get lost in small talk about the weather. But you learned to be pleasant and control your drifting eyes that willed your soul to be anywhere but there.
When you approached the Guild, someone called you over and explained you were being requested in one of the assessment rooms. A room used by evaluators and requestors to work out the details of a commission. You weren't an evaluator - so who could possibly be asking for you?
You imagined several scenarios except for this one. The one where Diluc Ragnvindr was standing on the other side of the door, waiting for - you. In fact, you were so unprepared, taken aback, that you rechecked the room number.
It was odd to see Diluc outside of his normal patterns. The man was routine. Days spent at Angels Share, days absent from the city while he tended to his estate at the Dawn Winery. You had several run-ins with him over the years since his reappearance, but they were always in public spaces. Fleeting, nervous moments when you'd gather the courage to ask him for a drink while he worked or make polite - short - conversation when he dropped it off. You didn't even know he knew you worked at the Adventurers Guild.
"Sir Ragnvindr, is something - how can I help you?" you asked as you stepped inside the room and let the heavy door close behind you.
"Have I pulled you away from your work?"
"Yes," you said but caught yourself, "No. I mean, yes, but it's alright. Are you alright?" The thought crossed your mind that perhaps something had happened. An issue at the Winery or the tavern, maybe he thought you were the best person to help him? Not sure why. But you did know a lot of adventurers.
"I am well. Please," he gestured to the table and chairs beside him. Crossing the room, you noticed a tall, decorative bag on the corner of the table. The top was knotted by someone with experience. Diluc placed his hand on the table, and you stopped a few feet from him. He looked -- odd. Out of sorts even.
"Did you need something from the Guild? I'm not sure if anyone told you, but I'm not an evaluator, but I can find someone who can assist you in building a commission report."
"I do not require one. I am ..." he clenched his jaw and fumbled. "Please, sit," he repeated, gesturing to the chair slightly pulled out beside you.
Confused, you took a seat.
You considered yourself a rational person, a relatively calm person. One that could keep their head in most situations, but when the man you could hardly look at long enough to breathe knelt in front of you, lifted your calf, and began to untie your shoe, you yelped so loud it startled him.
"Dilu- I mean, Sir Ragnvindr, what are you doing!?" You reached for his arm but pulled back at the last second. A war raged inside your mind - one billowing urge shouted to push him away so you could steady your fluttering heart, and the other shrieked, terrified of making contact out of fear he'd know the truths of your unsettled heart.
"These are uncomfortable, are they not?"
You glanced at your shoes. "I mean - yes, but you don't have to worry about it. Please," you begged, fingers hovering above his hand, body fighting the will to rip free from his grasp. "Sir Ragn-"
"Diluc," he interrupted and looked up at you, "I much prefer when you call me Diluc."
You didn't know how to respond, didn't know how to react, so you just sat frozen while he carefully removed your shoes and tended to the wounds they had caused.
His touch was warm. Violently warm. It was like heat seeped from every bit of him. Tendrils of flames licked across his brow, his cheeks, his jawline. You were so close you could smell the earth and trapped dust from the melting snow trapped in his clothes.
He placed the bandage across your foot and carefully wrapped it until it was secure.
"T-Thank you," you mumbled. You were stuck between being embarrassed by what was happening and being smitten by it. You were in a haze. Your eyes could barely focus on his hands as he worked, barely noticing the stick he placed beside your right foot. The medicine he applied had soothed the soft burn of the blister.
He stood and a wave of his scent washed over you. It took a moment for you to catch your breath, but when you did, you reached for your shoes that he had placed on the table.
"I'll repay you for the treatment."
"No need," he replied as he tugged at the decorative cloth bag. His back blocked you from what was inside. You worked on stretching the laces of your shoes so you could slip them over your foot. Just as you were about to place them on, Diluc returned and stalled your actions, taking the shoe from you and returning it to the table. He easily held your calf and slipped on another shoe. A flat, wide one that wouldn't rub against you the way your own had. "How does it fit?" he asked as he carefully slid it over your heel and adjusted it until it was on completely.
The shoe was elegant, beautiful. Something you would only dream of buying - most of your clothes were from sales and take-bins of neighbors doing their yearly cleaning. These were --
"Wait - did you buy these?"
"I did. But I was unaware of your size. If these are not satisfactory, I purchased several others which may be more suitable for you," he explained and that's when you noticed the stack of boxes now exposed from the cloth bag. Two boxes were placed to the side, another still in it, while the last was open, the lid placed at an angle as if forgotten.
"You bought," you paused, disbelief pulling in your brows, "multiple pairs?"
"It seemed better to purchase multiple than to guess. Though I could have inquired from you directly," he trailed off as if the thought had only just crossed his mind.
But only one crossed yours, "Why?"
He looked up at you, still kneeling and preparing your other foot to accept your new shoes' partner, "I notice you. You would be unable to work in this state."
"Noticed me?"
"Yes. Besides, I couldn't rightfully ... never mind."
"What," you blurted, hanging on his every word.
He glanced at you and then looked back at your feet. There was a pause, a heavy pause in the air. "To see you in discomfort. It - It did not sit well with me."
You sat in silence as he ensured the shoes fit, as he laced them, and made sure they wouldn't irritate the bandage. You held your tongue and swallowed the pounding pressure in your chest when he lifted you from the chair and made sure you could stand before he let go.
You breathed him in while he stood before you.
"I will be at Angel's Share tonight. I can set aside some time for you, should you find yourself-"
"Okay," you blurted again, followed it up with an embarrassed sorry. It made him laugh, and you snatch the lurching urge to jump on him.
"Until then," he hummed, a smile tugging at his lips. "Do not rush in the meantime. I have already given my recommendations to the guild to allow you rest, though I do not imagine you'll heed it."
Diluc packed up the bag and bid you farewell, lingering his voice on the sound of your name, his eyes on your warm face. He slipped out of the room and left you in disbelief in a pair of beautiful crimson shoes.
--
Xiao
Why did you decide to wear these shoes?
You thought at least twenty times as you trudged down the path. As you hiked over the mountain passes that had seen better days in their time. A giant bolder blocked you a few paces back and you were still brushing yourself off from the unprepared scramble; you found a tear in your clothes and groaned.
For an adventurer, you got off pretty lucky. Only taking the low-priced requests. Ones left for running between towns, helping clear out someone's back room, or helping with a shipment. You weren't interested in the daring adventures that some in the guild would take, snatch up before you even had a chance to read the whole thing. And you certainly weren't about to follow in the footsteps of that strange traveler who - for a while - was accused of killing the Liyue Archon. (You still had your suspicions).
Nope, you were complacent, content with the simple jobs that helped you keep the lights on and splurge on the things that caught your eye. One of which was currently on your feet and digging into the skin uncomfortably. You hopped on one foot and shoved your finger inside the edge of the shoe in the hopes of stretching out the tight leather.
The top of the path crept over the horizon and you picked up the pace to reach it. You adored cresting the hill and seeing the harbor stretch across the bay, how the tall mountainside loomed above her - a watchful guardian, a shield and protector. You sighed and adjusted the pack on your back. The road into the harbor wasn't long, but it was steep, and you prepared yourself for a rough descent with your aching feet.
Every step slowed you down. Each one more uncomfortable than the last. You thought about taking off your shoes but didn't want to catch the disapproving glares that came from Liyue's citizens. So, you pushed forward.
A plume of green and black smoke enveloped you. You would have shouted but you were used to the sensation and how it obscured your view. Months ago you stumbled upon the smoke's owner in a field. He seemed injured so you went to check on him only to learn he was fine, and rather unappreciative of your concern - actually, he was irritatingly annoyed that you had distracted him from his lay-about.
"Hello, little Xia--woah!" Instead of appearing near you like he had before, you were suddenly floating in the green smoke. It whipped through your hair, tugged at your loose clothes, and bit at your skin. You felt like you were falling, and then you were - into the arms of the Adeptus who normally kept his respectful distance from you.
When your eyes adjusted to the return of light, you twisted to look at him, one arm draped over his shoulders as if he had placed it there.
"What are you-?" The words caught in your throat. Confusion, surprise, and bashful bewilderment tickled your cheeks and stole your ability to speak. Your face was inches from him. Closer than it ever had been before.
"You're injured," he spoke softly, matter-of-factly, his eyes drifting to your feet. You could already see the broken skin around your heel.
"It's nothing. Just my shoes," you explained as you stared at your own feet as if that explanation meant anything to him.
"Hold on," he said as he held you to him and the two of you disappeared into a puff of ethereal phthalo.
--
Xiao placed you on the small stool you had left out on the balcony the night before. He was careful to not let you crash into it. His strength - despite his size - was easy to sense as he eased you onto it and waited for you to settle.
"Thanks," you hummed, stealing a peek at his eyes. Eyes the shade of ginkgo trees in fall, eyes that held eons of history and centuries of sadness. Xiao didn't speak much, but his searching and timid eyes quenched your thirst for his voice.
He lifted your leg and you covered your mouth to avoid making a noise. Before you could ask him a question, he withdrew into his haze and was gone. You sat motionless for only a few seconds, and contemplated entering your house as you, in a daze, took off your shoes but when you rose to leave, Xiao reappeared holding a small container.
"For your injury. It's important to - take care of yourself," he mumbled the last part of his sentence as he held the container out to you. Averting eyes, open fingers unmoving, waiting for you to take it.
Your fingertips brushed his skin. "Did you get this for me?" He crossed his arms and didn't answer but his actions still made your chest warm and lips pull into a giddy smile.
"Don't dally," he scolded and threw you a sharp stare, "Or you'll be left with a scar."
"Oh right." You nodded and uncapped the container. The salve held a potent medicinal scent. "You don't have to stay," you added, a little sad at the thought of him leaving but recognizing that he didn't enjoy the sights and sounds of the city. His avoidance one of the many secrets locked in the amber of his soul.
"I'll wait."
You opened your mouth to protest but he turned his back to you, crossed his arms. Watched, observed. Protective.
"Thank you, Xiao," you whispered and chuckled at the grunt that floated toward you from the Adeptus statue standing near the corner of your balcony.
--
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lavendermunson · 7 months
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can't help it if i wanna kiss you in the rain - steve harrington
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summary based on this lovely anon! thank you for your request, I hope you like it.
tags best friends to lovers. mutual pinning. mentions of weed. Eddie been Eddie and Erica being Erica. season 4. mention of starcourt but nothing else related to the upside down happens. slight use of y/n, sorry. a little bit of angst and then pure fluff. if i missed anything please tell me.
w.c 2.4k
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You are so upset.
You couldn’t fall asleep on the plane. They only had snacks with nuts on them. The juice boxes were gone.
You just want to avoid everyone, specifically Steve. 
He didn’t answer your letters for over two weeks, he stopped calling you every night to tell you all about his day and you… you were so upset you couldn’t enjoy the warm welcome your friends had prepared for you.
Life after the Starcourt incident wasn’t easy. Moving away from all the things, from all the people you love, it was destroying you. Jonathan found friends, Will and El do stuff without you all the time. You missed home, you missed your friends, your best friend.
The ride to Steve’s house is short, unfortunately. As Nancy gets out of the car to grab his boyfriend’s hand, Will, El, and Mike make sure to greet Dustin and Lucas at the door. Robin runs to you and hugs you, a warm big smile forms on your lips, she knows something is wrong from the moment your body stays still for a couple of seconds before hugging her back.
“You okay?” she asks, you can’t lie to her but you can’t rant about Steve and how upset you are because it would ruin everyone’s day. Half of the group came back all the way from California.
“I’m okay, Robs. Don’t worry” You take a step back, not dropping your hands from the sides of her arms and squeezing them. “You, young lady, you need to tell me all about Vickie”
She laughs, her cheeks light pink as the color of your skirt. You can’t stop a giggle from coming out of your lips, but as soon as you see him… your body goes stiff again and Robin rushes inside the house to get a drink before spilling everything about her crush.
But there he is. His gray almost blue polo shirt hugs his chest flawlessly. The last two buttons remain unbuttoned and the best friend chain you share with him shows up, resting on his hairy chest that moves up and down as he breathes. His hair, amazing as it is, has a life of itself and it’s beaming as well as his face. You are sure he is wearing the tightest jeans ever but you fight everything in yourself not to look down, as you fight with the same strength and keep your arms to yourself.
He whispers, "Hi" and locks his gaze on you, asking for a hug.
“Hey,” you say, not moving an inch and he finds it odd. Before you moved away you loved his hugs, his arms around you embracing you while your face rested on his chest, so close to his neck that your nose used to catch the scent of his cologne and a hint of cigarettes. Your hips will bump with his and- NO, STOP STOP.
“Are you okay? You look-”
He tries to speak with the same calm as always but it’s impossible. He feels something is different and he can’t wrap his head around it. You interrupt him, bumping your shoulder into his arm and running upstairs mumbling the dumbest excuse ever. 
“I- I need to, uhm, go to the bathroom” 
Steve doesn’t say anything. He figures you need some space or you are tired from the flight. He reunites with the others in the kitchen and gets introduced to Argyle who is talking to Eddie about something. 
He watches you come back, you are holding your best friend's necklace with your fingers, you usually do that when you are nervous. Steve's eyes focus on you and you turn around, going straight to the living room where the others are. Panic settles over his chest and no one seems to notice. 
Eddie is quick to hit his shoulder slightly with his palm and nods to the living room, telling Steve to join the others.
The living room is filled with voices and chuckles. You talk to everyone about your new school, your new house. Everyone pays attention to all the California Shenanigans.
Steve is focused on you, with a frown on his face and yes, you’ve noticed. It took you possibly five minutes to feel his confused gaze over you, but you decided to ignore it. You ignore him as he ignored you when you were away. You keep talking to Erica about her winning the campaign and Eddie joins the conversation making Steve… jealous.
“Guys! Guys. You all talk like you haven’t seen each other in ten years, I get it, but I still need to meet the rest of you!” A high Argyle speaks up, earning everyone’s attention “Can we just have a quick chat?”
“There is something we have to do outside, but you guys chat!” Dustin says as every single one of the kids follows him except Erica.
“Erica, let the grown-ups talk”
A choir of “boos” and “we are not that old” makes Lucas jump, he rolls his eyes and goes out joining his friends in the backyard.
“What? They are going to do a nerdy thing I'm not interested in” Erica replies, looking at everyone in the room.
“Erica, you play dragons and… what is it? castles?” Argyle says.
“Dungeons and dragons, man!” Eddie corrects him and hits him with his elbow. They quickly became friends and it’s hilarious to see them interact.
“You guys are soooo high,” you say. Eddie, who remains by your side, quickly bumps his knuckle softly against your chin, earning a giggle from you.
“What? Do you want a joint, sweetheart? He teases, and you roll your eyes.
“She’s not into that” Steve scoffs, peeking at the interaction that has his head hurting for quite a while now.
“What? She totally is. Bro, remember that time when you got so high you poured your milkshake on Jonathan and Ms. Byers thought he threw up on himself?” Argyle’s confession takes you by surprise, Jonathan laughs remembering and describing the incident to everyone. 
The room fills with chuckles one more time. Steve feels a knot in his throat and you try to keep your face away from him.
“I had to tell my mom she tripped, it was a fun day actually,” the older Byers says.
“That reminds me, one time Steve had a date and I accidentally spilled my jar of fresh cherry jam on him. He spent the rest of the shift with his legs wrapped in a towel while his jeans were drying up!” Robin tells the funny story and that’s when you look at Steve. 
Your mind starts wandering. He had a date, maybe he had a girlfriend already and that’s why he was so busy.
“Was that the same girl I saw you with at the movie theater?” Nancy asks.
“Nope, that was Heather and the other one was Heidi” Robin answers, Steve looks away from you, embarrassed. 
Jealousy starts to get its way through your head. Your breath quickens and you start to get more furious.
“And what happened with Linda?” Nancy asks again.
“Can you guys just drop it?” Steve starts to get annoyed. “We just kissed, that is all”
“Fuck this” you mumble, the only one hearing you is Eddie.
“Woah, are you okay? Eddie notices your face, red with anger and your eyes glassy.
“Can everyone just stop asking if I’m fucking okay?”
Your voice shakes and you storm out of the room. The rest watches you go and Steve panics, but doesn’t move.
“Are you stupid?” Erica speaks, making Steve wake up as she is talking to him.
“What?”
“Oh please, you love that girl and you idiots had to mention all of his dates. She is clearly jealous, even I can see it”
“Erica!” Steve raises his voice but she doesn’t get upset.
“Just the facts! Don’t be a moron Steve”
And that’s what it took. An 11-year-old shit-talking to Steve for him to realize he had to fix this.
He gets up and before he opens the door, Robin grabs his hand stopping him.
“Don’t- don’t lie to her and do not try to push her away” She squeezes his hand before dropping it. “You’ve been miserable without her, don’t make another mistake"
Steve nods, opening the door, and walks to the street to find you, you are walking as quickly as possible but the cold rain slows you down as you hug yourself and walk.
Alone. Annoyed. Jealous. Furious.
“Y/n! Please come back”
An agitated voice makes your ears ring. It’s him, his voice was so recognizable that it was impossible to ignore it. You turn around, making an effort to not run toward him and cry for him, begging him to love you.
You’ve never cried over a boy because you’ve always been in love with your best friend, Steve.
“Please just listen” he begs, the rain starts to calm down as if the sky knows something is about to happen.
“What do you want?”
“I want to talk to you! You have been avoiding me all day and it’s making me crazy. I’m sorry you had to hear all of that” he slurs his words as he tries to ease his breath.
"Are you only apologizing for having dates?"
“No, no. I know ignoring you was wrong, I know trying to push you away was so shitty of me”
You keep your arms crossed against your chest. You keep shivering from the cold of the rain. Your clothes are all soaked and sticky.
“And?”
“And? I’m sorry, I'm sorry. But you didn’t have to act like such a jerk to me, not when I haven't seen you for so long. You know you can talk to me!”
“It’s all good, I wish you would talk to me too but it's too late. Bye now"
“Wait, wait”
“What do you want, Steve?” you shake your head. “Please, enlighten me. What is it? I want to go home. I want to get out of these clothes and curl up in my bed. Just leave me alone alright”
“You are unbelievable”
“What?”
“You know the phone works both ways right?”
“I didn’t need the phone. I sent you a bunch of letters you didn’t read. Sorry to bother you with all of that you couldn’t even open one”
“I read all of them. I'm sorry i didn't reply to them... but now I know you are hiding a lot of things. Tell me, was one of your letters going to mention you smoke weed and hang around god-knows-where while you are high?”
“Oh my god, Steve. That was one time” you sigh. You couldn’t believe he was telling you all of this as if you did something wrong “You were the one ignoring me, remember? Being too busy with girls you couldn’t pick up the phone, what were you doing, Steve? 
“They were just dates, nothing happened! I would’ve told you if… I don’t know”
“Well, I had a date too,” you say. It’s not a lie, you did have a date with some guy named Dave, it didn’t go well because let’s be honest he wasn’t Steve. “And I would’ve told you too but it looked like you didn't care”
“You had a date? So you have a boyfriend now or what?” he asks, his fists clenching. His knuckles are white, and his face glows red.
“Why are you getting so upset about it?” you notice a shift in his voice, he looks too angry for some weird reason.
“You have a boyfriend”
“I don’t have a boyfriend. And if I had one, why do you care? You are the one going on hundreds of dates” A laugh comes out of your lips, but your heart is aching.
“Because the dates were a distraction! A distraction that didn't work because no one is... no one is as perfect and beautiful as you, and it kills me, you know?” 
You get confused, he starts to get closer. Your tears start to mix with the drops of rain, your sight becomes blurry.
“I like you! Fuck, I love you!” he speaks, defeated and with a hand over his chest, right over his heart. “I have loved you since I met you, I’m sorry I was such a jerk for hiding it but I thought you deserved someone so much better than me and I didn’t-” 
He gets cut off by your lips on his. It was everything he needed, he is everything you wanted. The kiss is short but it’s filled with all the pent-up emotions, all the years of waiting, all the lingering hugs and him “casually” always keeping a hand over you.
His lips are soft, he gets a taste of your strawberry chapstick and smiles over your bottom lip. You wrap your arms around his neck, pushing your bodies together.
“I like… I love you too, Steve” you say, his eyes focused on your lips as his hands rest on your waist. “I was hiding it too, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry we had to fight and, I-”
“It’s fine” he whispers, the drops of rain make his hair fall to his forehead, you are quick to brush it away from his face with your fingers, and he doesn’t mind.
“It’s not, we could’ve sorted this out sooner but I was scared– scared that if I told you, you were going to reject me”
“I thought you were going to reject me. Dreaming about you with me every night was better than thinking about losing you, so I was hiding it” he brushes his nose against yours. “But I don't have to hide it anymore. I love you. You love me. God, please tell me you are not joking”
“I’m not joking, Stevie. I love you”
His favorite nickname makes an appearance, he smiles as it’s been a long time since he hasn't heard it.
 “I love you too, baby”
The new pet name makes your heart flutter and he wants to kiss you again, but the rain doesn’t seem to stop and you are both shivering.
“Let’s get in before you catch a cold,” he says, taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. You walk with him back to his house, your body immediately feels calmer as you get closer to him and hug him. 
“I missed you”
“I missed you too, don’t you dare think i’m letting you leave my house today”
“Wasn’t planning on it”
He grins, you giggle. The girl of his dreams is finally with him, nothing could ruin his mood since that day.
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feedback is appreciated don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! you can request something like this and I'd be happy to write it. ♡
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gtgbabie0 · 9 months
Note
Hello love, I love your work of both Leon and Cregan. I was wondering if I could request a Leon story? It's been a few months since his mission to save Ashley, Leon and his girlfriend are enjoying domestic life, he's got PTSD and she helps him through everything, even though he he doesn't not deserve her. He's so in love with her that he knows he will marry her. Maybe a marriage proposal?
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-Leon Kennedy x Reader
{Leon finds himself reflecting on everything you’ve done for him after Spain leading him to propose to you}
I’m so very sorry this took me so long to write! Hope you enjoy 💕
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Leon hasn’t been the best company since returning from Spain, he knows this deep down despite how he tries so desperately to shove all the feelings away instead of facing them. He’s never really been good at emotions choosing to bottle them all up until the pressure becomes too much and he loses control.
He hates himself for it, how he feels almost stained by the things he’s endured. Dirty in some odd way that not even himself could make sense of it.
Then there’s you, so very beautiful as you sit on the bed with some puzzle book you had brought. He watches from the doorway as you frown so softly trying to figure out the letters to the mystery words.
You’re so sweet, clean, he thinks. Not tainted by the monsters of the world and for that, he’s almost envious. Leon had sworn to himself long ago that he’d protect you from it all the best he could, and perhaps that’s why he chooses not to talk much about it, to save you from ever knowing the truth.
The corners of his mouth tug upwards in an almost sad smile as you look up at him, “I’m sorry for waking you up baby” he mumbles, voice heavy with exhaustion as he slips on the hoodie you left on the radiator for him.
You shake your head in dismissal. He had a nightmare, a bad one. The type that left him speechless and the only thing he wanted was to shower, to clean himself of the filth that plagues him, inside and out.
He hadn’t had a nightmare for the last couple of weeks and now there's a stubborn feeling of disappointment that he can’t seem to shake, he thought he was getting better.
You pat the space beside you, urging him to sit down with you and he does. “No need to apologise, it’s what I’m here for,” you tell him, putting the puzzle book away in the bedside drawer before holding your arms out to him.
He shuffles to lay between your legs, head resting against your collarbones as he lets out a long, heavy sigh. “You won’t be saying that tomorrow when you have to wake up for work” he grumbles and you can tell he feels guilty for waking you up at three in the morning.
“Well lucky me, I booked the weekend off. I wanted to spend it with you,” you tell him, playing with his shower-damp hair. You can feel as he smiles against your skin, his strong arms wrapping around ever so softly.
“Thought you’d be bored of me already” he whispers, closing his eyes as your fingers graze against his scalp gently.
You scoff, “Bored of you? Don’t be silly” You turn your head to press a kiss to his cheek, smiling as he nuzzles his nose into your neck.
Leon doesn’t understand how you can be so patient when it comes it him, the way you always seem to be there for him. In the times when things get tough and all he wants is to drown himself in his own self-destruction, it’s you who keeps him afloat and you haven’t the slightest idea of just how much you do for him without knowing.
There’s a silence that surrounds the pair of you, it’s comforting and the only thing you can hear is his soft breaths. You think for a second he’s fallen back asleep but then his hands are sliding their way under your shirt, warm against your skin as they caress at your sides.
“What’s going on Leon? You’ve been quiet this week” you ask, keeping a hushed tone as you press a kiss another kiss to the top of his head. “Talk to me baby, please?”
He sighs, of course you had noticed, you were bound to sooner or later. It hurts to think about it, and that’s why Leon has tried to hide the engagement rig in the depths of his bedside table, tucked away in the drawer.
He’d planned it all out so perfectly. The date, the time, the place. He was finally going to pop that big question, to ask you to be his forever and always, but then he got the call the night before and soon enough he found himself flying all the way out to Spain.
“I just- I wish things could just be simple” he whispers, trying to bite back the tears, “I just want things to be simple” the quiver in his voice gives him away.
Leon still wants to marry you, that’s something he’s known for a very long time. He thinks back to that night you helped him.
He couldn’t sleep, his apartment was so empty barren of any life or joy. So without a call or a text, he showed up at your house, tired and on the brink of a breakdown and you didn’t say anything, or bombard him with questions. Instead, you simply took his hand in your own and guided him through your house.
He remembers just how comforting the atmosphere was, the warmth, the smell, the way your hand felt against his, it was home.
You’d run him a bath, candles and your favourite soaps and he cried when you offered to wash his hair, he’d cried even harder at how soft you were as you placed gentle kisses against his shoulder. It was that night he decided he wanted to spend forever with you.
“Can I tell you something?” He asks, sitting up with teary eyes. You nod as you pull down your sleeve before reaching over to his face, wiping away the stray tears.
Leon reaches for your hands and the once comforting energy turns a bit more serious, making you sit up crossing your legs as you do so.
“What happened?” You ask, a lot more cautious than you had intended as if you were anticipating dreadful news.
“It’s nothing bad, honey” he smiles bringing your hand to press a soft kiss to your knuckles, his lips linger for a moment before he brings your conjoined hands down to his lap and the gentleness brings your heart to ease.
Leon doesn’t know when to start there are so many words but none of them seem to be nearly enough to describe his feelings. You squeeze his hands gently, a silent way to let him know you’re listening.
That seems to do the trick. “You mean the world to me you know?” He lets out a heavy sigh as his stomach turns, something about the way you’re looking at him and the nervousness that seems to cling to him.
“I can’t imagine what it’d be like to live without you, I don’t want to live without you. I know these past couple of months have been so… difficult and I need you to know that-” he drops his head as he takes a deep, shaky breath.
“I love you so much, you have no idea how grateful I am for you” his tone is so sincere, full of nothing but love and gratitude and the emotion bleeds into his face, you catch a glimpse of it through his eyes when he looks at you like a love-sick puppy.
His words have your eyes welling up, “Leon I- I don’t know what to say” You let out a teary giggle and all he can do is smile at you as he leans to press a kiss to your cheek before reaching over to his bedside table, pulling something out clasped between his hands.
“What’s that?” You ask in a quiet whisper, feeling a little nervous.
“I’ve wanted to ask you for a long time” he opens the little, grey box studying your face with soft eyes.
He watches you gasp as your watery eyes widen, you look at him then the rings twice before taking a shaky breath. They glisten underneath the warm light of the lamp.
You fling your arms around his neck pushing him down on the bed as you lay on top of him, and an excited giggle of “Yes one hundred times yes” leaves your lips as you pepper his face with kisses.
He chuckles underneath you, his hands against your hips. You pull back slightly to look down at him. There are tears in his eyes and you’re quick to wipe them away with your thumbs. The pair of you filled with nothing but pure joy and nothing could ever ruin this moment. It's refreshing Leon thinks, to feel so happy after these past couple of months.
“I love you, so much” he whispers as you press your forehead against his.
“I love you too, so much” you giggle between kisses before sitting up. Leon follows you as he opens the ring box, taking your ring out and slipping on your finger. He smiles at you and he swears on everything to keep you this happy forever and always.
It’s not perfect, it’s not the plan he came up with all those months ago before Spain, but the look you’re giving him, eyes full of excitement, makes it all worth it.
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lesbianextdoor · 3 months
Text
Modern! Mizu x Fem! Reader Headcanons NSFW!
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Im gonna be honest this list was originally just to help me get down Mizu’s personality and everything else before I started writing.
I have a hard time writing whenever I don’t really have a clear understanding of characters written out in front of me lol
please excuse any misspellings I am very tireddd
. . . .
- A very serious girl, aloof, smart, blunt and says what comes to mind, polite, can be cocky when it comes to something she’s particularly good at. She’s awkward though and socially unaware
- Caring and thoughtful when you get to know her, type of girl to get you your favorite snacks without even asking. Can get possessive/jealous not in an ugly way but in a cute way, notices when your mood changes and asks what’s wrong immediately
- Is super smart and helps her gf study when she needs it. She prefers quality time over gifts, unless it’s hand written letters she folds for those and keeps every single one, even the envelope
- Not really a fashion gal, just wears baggy clothing and slouches a lottt, lots of rings and a few ear piercings on both sides
- Let’s her gf dress her up, makeup, hair, etc..
-I would say she does sports occasionally but is more of a gym person
-I envision her as a hot loser lesbian girl who doesn’t know she’s hot
NSFW PART ‼️
Mostly likes to top but if reader gets the chance she actually top Mizu instead since she’s cute asf as a bottom
- Top Mizu makes lots of grunts and just gets lost in the feeling so she stops talking LOLL, lots of breathy moans
- Bottom Mizu is a HUGE whiner and begger, loud asfff makes cute whiny noises (usually doesn’t like bottoming cause of how she gets)
-Mizu’s gf praises the fuck out of her and basically worships her when she bottoms (she loves her pillow princess)
- When her gf tops she will most likely be tied up (Mizu’s gf loves seeing her tied up, writhing and struggling to move as she touches her)
- Mizu is high key a masochist and likes to degrade her gf, her gf is into it, has a breeding kink she is unaware of,
- Mizu was unaware that straps existed until her gf introduced her to the toy. They then the following day went shopping for one (and bought a pretty blue one). Although Mizu felt odd owning a plastic dick, but after fucking w it she felt so powerful. Which lead her to develop a complex about her strap and fucking abilities
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bookshelf-dust · 1 year
Text
the hurt is good
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part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi
billy hargrove x fem!reader
word count: 2,344
warnings: swearing, smoking, reader is lonely, descriptions of billy’s abuse, mentions of neil
a/n: hi! so i decided to challenge myself with this. i’m making this a multi-part story. i’ve never done anything like this before, but so far i’m enjoying it. i’m not entirely sure where we’re headed, but i’ve got a sort of outline in my head. i’ve also decided to try something else new, and i’ve picked out some songs that you can listen to before you read to get you in the mood—but only if you want of course. this is all a really new experience for me but i have put a lot of heart into this first part. i hope that you enjoy this, really i do. also the title is from a part of hop’s letter to el. <333
before you read, listen to: wheel in the sky by journey and/or (don’t fear) the reaper by blue oyster cult
————
Sitting cross-legged on your bed, you turn the page of the book in front of you, the sound of the paper flipping an audible one.
You lift the hardback, tuck your nose into the center of the pages and give it a sniff. It might be odd to do so, yes, but to you, books are the best smelling thing in the world.
You put it back down, go back to reading.
A knock breaks you out of your fantasy literature-induced stupor.
“Honey? Okay for me to come in?” Your mother’s voice, soft and sweet.
“Sure.” Your voice is quiet when you speak, though just loud enough for her to hear.
Your bedroom door opens enough for your mother to stand just inside, her back against the frame, one hand gently resting on the knob.
You reach for your bookmark, drape it over one side of the pages and then close it.
“Hey, kiddo.” Her smile is easy. You try your best to give her one of your own, but you know it falls short.
“Wendy and I are going out to dinner tonight and then to an art show.”
Wendy was your mother’s longtime best friend, and quite the riot.
“Apparently her new girlfriend is something of an artist.” She gives a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows. “Do you think you’d like to tag along?”
You uncross your legs and stretch them out: contemplating. Then you do the same to your back, which makes an obscene crackling noise—enough to make the both of you grimace.
You know how you’ll feel if you go out with your mother and her friend.
You’ll be okay for the first little while, but then there will be too many people. You’ll get nervous. You will probably say something wrong and feel the need to shut down. You will shut down. Your hands will get shaky and you’ll get upset, and by the end of the night you’ll wish you hadn’t gone at all.
You know how you’ll feel if you stay home, too.
You’ll be fine, totally fine, having avoided everything you’d face in the other situation. But you’d be guilty. Guilty because you’re young and you won’t be going out to do whatever or making friends. You’ll feel like you’re failing your mom, who just wants you to experience things.
You decide that leaving your house shouldn’t require this much stress.
“No, I don’t think so,” you finally say. “But thank you for offering.”
You watch your mother as she moves further inside your room, settling on the edge of your bed.
“Are you sure?” She sets her hands on your knees, tapping her fingers, many a ring glinting in the overhead light of your room.
“We could get frozen yogurt. You know, I really think you’ve turned Wendy into a monster after we went last time. It’s all she talks about now.”
That gets a small smile out of you, but brings an ache to your chest.
“I’m sure. Don’t get too crazy, tonight, though. And be sure to let me know about her new partner.”
“Alright. Hug or no? What’s the affectionate meter at right now?”
“A hug is fine,” you say through a quiet laugh.
She wraps her arms carefully around your shoulders, allowing you to squeeze first, that way she can gauge what you need.
“I’ll leave some money out so you can order pizza, okay?” You nod. “Also there’s a pint of the ice cream you like in the freezer.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Anything for you, my little honeybee.” With a final pat of your knee and a wink sent in the direction of your book, your mother sweeps out of the room, and a little while later she is out the door.
Alone in the house, you let out an exhale, before heading to the kitchen.
Opening the designated take-out-menu-drawer, you scrounge for the one belonging to a local pizza place. You go ahead and order now, knowing that it might take awhile since the place is in downtown Hawkins.
You realize, setting the phone down, that you don’t know what to do with yourself once you’ve got the chance to do whatever you please.
You retrieve your book to read on the couch until your dinner arrives, not only for a change of scenery, but because you’ll need to be out in the living room to watch an episode of your favorite show in a while anyhow.
You’ve only sat momentarily when you hear it. Hear him. When you hear his music, specifically.
Billy Hargrove lives a few doors down from you, just close enough that you can always hear when he comes home, music blaring—not that differently from the volume you play it at when alone in your car—and doors slamming.
You don’t know him personally, only from school. Only as this pretty boy who’s been in Hawkins a few months.
You know enough that you hate the way people at school look at him. Like he’s an object. Like he’s this foreign being just because he came all the way from sunny California. The way they talk about him. About his ass, or his car, or his little redhead sister.
You know he’s pretty. You’d never deny that. But he’s just like the rest of you, and it bothers you that people treat him—at least from what you’ve seen—like this all-powerful dude.
But you also know enough that you think maybe he doesn’t have the best home life, just from what you’ve seen when you’re not out—which is always.
Sometimes you see him walking up and down the street at various times during the day. Or you hear his car speed off.
Sometimes, though really only sometimes, you see him trailing his sister while she skateboards, either talking or sitting while she goes.
To you, he seems like a loner.
And maybe it’s because you’re one too that you see him that way. That you can see him that way.
————
Outside, Billy cups his hand around his cigarette. It’s seemingly out of habit, since it’s not windy out. His thumb slides along the spark wheel of his lighter once, twice before the flame catches. The tip glows red in the night.
He walks a little further, as he inhales deeply, closing his eyes and soaking it in. He kicks a rock, hard, trying to see if it’ll hit the post of the mailbox a few feet ahead of him.
He watches a pizza delivery car ride by and pull into a driveway. He hasn’t made it very far on his walk. The walk he wouldn’t be taking because it’s pretty damn cold outside.
But Neil Hargrove wasn’t aware that Max Mayfield had joined the Hawkins AV Club, and when there was no Max at home, he took it out on Billy, telling him he was an irresponsible waste of space.
It took Susan getting home with her daughter and explaining the situation for Neil to calm down.
But Billy’s back was aching from where he’d been slammed up against a doorframe, and frankly he wanted nothing more than to get out of the house.
So here he was.
A porch light flicked on as if whoever was inside had been waiting on that pizza. You had been—sitting on the couch and listening for car sounds.
When the delivery guy rings the doorbell you appear, and Billy realizes he knows you. That he goes to school with you. You’re very quiet. He also thinks your very pretty, and he’s never noticed that before.
You look very comfortable; all of your clothes seem to be too big. With the way the yellow outside light hits you, it gives your face a multitude of shadows. Billy thinks about some of the greek statues he learned about in a history class back when he lived in California. About how artists tended to sculpt women with real bodies.
Shit, he thinks. He’s probably staring at you. But you really are very pretty.
On the stoop, you take the pizza and set it on the table just inside the door and then hand the guy his money.
You decide not to be a dick and make sure that he gets out okay. When he backs out, you catch a flash of red out of the corner of your eye.
You wouldn’t be able to see him if it weren’t for the street lights. Billy is looking at you. You smile at him, and to your surprise, he smiles back.
“You okay?” You ask, hoping that your voice carries to him, because you don’t feel like shouting.
You watch him shrug and take another drag of his cigarette. The fingers on his free hand fidget with the ring he’s wearing, and you pretend not to notice.
“You?” He questions in return. Something about the sound of his voice makes you feel warm inside.
You shrug back, and he lets out a breath of a laugh, before you turn around to go inside and he continues with his walk.
You kick the door shut and lock it behind you, thinking about Billy.
That is the most extensive conversation you’ve ever had with him, aside from one a few days after he started at Hawkins High, when he didn’t know where the auditorium was, so you walked him the whole way there. You were pretty sure he’d been embarrassed to have to ask for help, but you hadn’t been bothered at all.
In fact, that exchange outside was the most conversation you’d had with anyone outside of your mother in a while.
Most days you didn’t say a word at school, keeping to yourself, trying to get homework done any chance you could so that it didn’t actually become homework. Sometimes you had to speak with a teacher though, and of course you said thank you when someone held a door—but that was it.
Quite frankly you didn’t know what to think. Part of you hoped you’d see him again. That you’d make a friend.
You hadn’t had a friend in a very long time.
————
When your mother returns home, it is with many beans to spill.
Wendy’s new partner, who you found out was named Stephanie, was, in your mother’s words, “Hot enough to go gay for.”
Your mother had also undoubtedly had some to drink while out and about.
“Also that boy from down the street? Don’t you go to school with him?”
You start fussing with a string on your sleeve. “Yeah, why?”
“Well he was brooding on his porch when Wendy retrieved me, and he’s still wandering around outside. It’s been,” she checked her watch, “three hours.”
You scratch at your nose, thinking.
“I saw him when the pizza got here.”
Your mother hums. “Well, I’m going to go shower the art gallery off of me and then probably stay up too late reading.”
“Okay.”
She smiles sweetly at you, collecting the pile of rings and other jewelry that she’d taken off and set on the counter while talking to you, and then you’re alone again.
You flatten your body over the countertop, bending at the waist and stretching so that your fingers can grip the other side.
You think about Billy out there. He was obviously going through something. And maybe it isn’t any of your business, but you hate the idea of him being alone, wallowing in self-pity. Not that you have any room to talk.
You straighten, walking carefully so as to not allow your socked feet to slip along the floor, and find yourself reaching for your coat.
Shoving your feet into a pair of shoes, you flip on the porch light once again, and make your way outside.
Across the street, Billy is resting against a low wall that has a mailbox set into it.
Looking both ways out of habit, you make your way towards him, stopping a few feet away. He looks up at you, both hands on the brick underneath him. There is a half-finished cigarette in one of his hands. You find yourself wondering how much he’d smoked since he’d been out here.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” He quirks a brow at you.
“You’ve been out here a long time, you know that?”
Billy glances at his watch. “Seems so.”
“Not cold?”
“‘M fucking freezing my ass off out here.”
You try and choose your words carefully, not wanting to push too hard. “Seems like you could solve that problem if you went inside.”
“Are you worried about me or something, Y/N?”
Trying not to think about the way your name sounded leaving his mouth, you admit to your crimes.
“Yeah, actually. You were out here earlier, and my mom said she saw you when she left and when she got home. I didn’t like the idea of you being alone.”
Something in Billy’s face softens. “Yeah?”
You exhale, your breath leaving a plume of air in front of you.
“Yeah.”
“Well then I guess I better get my ass inside, huh?”
You stuff your hands into your pockets and realize what you’ve got in there.
“Here.” You pull out a little hand warmer packet an hold it out to him.
Billy laughs. It’s a beautiful sound, you think. Charming and hearty. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
————
At school Monday, you make your way to the lunch table you’ve claimed, grass squishing under your feet.
You flip open your book, shove one leg under you.
It’s only been a little while of munching on grapes and forcing yourself to concentrate before you feel a weight drop onto the bench across from you, shifting the old table a little.
You look up. Billy Hargrove looks back.
He throws his bag on the worn wood, slaps a book of his own on top of that.
You’re confused at his appearance, and he seems to sense that.
“I didn’t like the idea of you being alone.”
You feel yourself heat up, and sit on one of your hands because you also feel like you could cry.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
————
please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33
1K notes · View notes
babydollmarauders · 1 year
Note
FAITHLYNN
odd idea but hear me out
so u know all the wags get playoff jackets, so the reader gets their own and then they surprise jack with one for baby el that says daddy on the back with his number so she matches everyone ugh
it’s all jack has been talking about lately. “playoffs this.” “playoffs that.” but the one i’ve heard the most?
“i can’t wait to see you in that playoff jacket. our last name on the back.”
i pointed out to him that i already have a playoff jacket from when we were dating, but he said it wasn’t the same. that it’s different because back then it was his last name and now it’s our last name.
i didn’t tell him when i got the jacket, refusing to show him until tonight; the first game of the first round of the playoffs. which only makes it so much more special to get to surprise him with El’s very own playoff jacket.
i adjust El’s jacket, fast-walking towards the locker room. i got here incredibly early for the WAGS jacket reveal to the team. Darya told the guys she wanted to make an instagram reel of it, but in reality, i wanted to get Jack’s reaction of El’s jacket.
“there you are!” Darya cheers, making the other girls turn to look at me and El as i walk up, seemingly the last one to arrive.
“sorry! El was all dressed and ready to go and then we got all the way out to the car and she needed a new diaper.” i sigh, and the other mothers of the group giggle.
“yeah, that sounds about right.” Kristen laughs, coming to pinch El’s cheek. “hey, cutie!”
“the guys should be out any minute. i just texted Yegor that we’re ready.” Darya informs us, setting her phone on a small tripod that sits in the hallway.
Nicole takes the one year old from my arms so that i can fix my jacket. pulling the sleeves back down from their bunched up position and pulling it straight back. at the sound of the locker room door swinging open, i quickly snatch my daughter back from Nicole, holding her to my front as all of us girls turn so our backs face our boyfriends and husbands. Jack is under the impression that El is with his parents and Quinn while i’m here.
“woahhh!” Dougie’s voice echoes throughout the hallway, making all of us laugh.
“those are legittt!” Jack chimes. i feel his hand slide down the back of my black letterman jacket before he starts tracing the red letters of our last name and his number. “look at you, my wife sporting our last name.”
i can hear his giddy smile without even looking at him, which makes me grin.
“yeah? you like it?” i ask him.
“yeah, looks great pretty girl.” he presses a kiss to the top of the back of my head. “can i see the front?”
my grin falters to a shy smile as i turn around. his eyes immediately find El, falling to her own jacket’s back.
“oh my god.” he whispers, immediately tearing up.
“you like?” i ask him, pulling the back of her jacket down so the words are clearer, allowing him to see the ‘daddy 86’.
“i love! look at you!” he cheers, scooping our daughter from my arms and holding her above his head so that he can see her face.
at the sight of her dad, El shrieks, smacking her hands on his face.
“dada!” she yells before turning to me. “mama, dada!”
“i see, baby! it’s dada, huh?” i smile at her excitement. Jack lowers her down, holding her to his chest.
“you look so pretty, baby!” he tells her, making her turn bashful and hide her face in his neck. “you cheering for daddy, eh?”
“El, should we show daddy what we’ve been working on?” she lifts her head at my words and i take that as my signal. lowering my voice, i shout out- “goal! new jersey devils, number eighty-six! jack hughesss!!”
El’s face lights up as she starts clapping her hands.
“dada!!” she screams. a wide grin spreads across Jack’s lips, showing off his beautiful smile that still makes my heart skip a beat even years later.
“you practiced that for me?!” Jack asks her, tickling her tummy. she giggles, pushing at his hands and face; anywhere she can reach.
after a moment, Jack’s expression sobers as he turns his head to look at me. leaning down to press a kiss against my lips, which causes El to smack at our faces.
“thank you, babe. i love you.”
“i love you more.”
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rxmqnova · 3 months
Note
Hey
Love your work. How about lizzie, daughter reader ?
(Set during WandaVision filming)
Lizzie's really annoyed with us because R got suspended from school for skipping class and giving the teachers 'sass' so we have to spend time with her on set.
We attend the on set school with the other child actors. But it soon becomes clear we can only read at a 2nd grade level (we're a teen).
Lizzie gets informed during her break and feels horrible for giving us a hard time, and being too busy to notice how much we're struggling.
So that night she asks us to help her run her lines. We're really anxious about it, so Lizzie sits us on her lap, tells us she knows about our reading troubles and helps us to read the tommy and Billy lines.
It becomes clear we're a 'chip off the old block' so she gets us a part in the t.v show.
Hoping that acting will help with our dyslexia
Feel free to change or add anything here 😃👍
Thanks. Your the best 👌
Reading problems
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Y/N: 13 years old ——————————————————
NO ONE'S POV "Mom, I-"
"Y/N, don't. I'm really mad right now" Lizzie gives her daughter a stern look, continuing her way to the car while Y/N's following behind.
"But I-"
"I said no, Y/N… Skipping classes. What were you thinking?" Lizzie shakes her head, not even turning around to look at her daughter.
Lizzie and her daughter only just left the principal's office. Y/N got suspended for skipping classes and not being really nice to her teacher about it which, of course, didn't make Lizzie exactly happy.
The entire car ride home has been nothing but super uncomfortable for the young girl. Lizzie hasn't said a single word, still being really mad and disappointed which is something Y/N absolutely hates.
And unfortunately, the rest of the day happens to be pretty much the same, Lizzie talking only when it's necessary and Y/N better hidden in her bedroom.
———
The morning comes sooner than Y/N would like and Lizzie's already sitting on her daughter's bed, attempting to wake her up.
"Mom, I'm suspended. Did you forget?" Y/N groans, hoping her mother would let her sleep.
"I could not forget that. Did you really think I would leave you home alone after yesterday?" Lizzie raises an eyebrow. "You're going on set with me and you're going to attend the set school with Jett and Julian" Of course Lizzie earns a whine from her daughter on those words. "Get ready and come downstairs"
Hearing a nod Lizzie leaves the room, leaving her daughter to get ready. Y/N better does what her mom said and gets ready, meeting Lizzie downstairs.
Well, and after breakfast and getting everything that needs to be done before leaving, the pair gets to the car and heads on the set.
Once they arrive, Lizzie immediately leads her daughter to where the boys and the teacher are currently waiting for Y/N so they could start.
And as soon as Y/N joins them, they get into work. They start with some math which is luckily not that hard for the young Olsen. She's older than the boys and had already done this at school.
But then comes some reading and that's something Y/N absolutely hates. It is actually the main reason why she skipped her classes.
It's just the fact that for some odd reason the words are so hard to read for the young Olsen. She has no idea why, but sometimes she just misses out a few words when reading, or adds some. Or sometimes she mixes up the letters in a word.
And of course that didn't go unnoticed by her classmates. Now their just making fun of her that she can't read fluently, and especially when the teacher chooses her to read out loud.
Though now it's time for the boys to get ready for filming, so Y/N gets dismissed too. And just like Lizzie told her, she makes her way over to her mother's trailer to meet Lizzie there once she has a break.
Meanwhile Lizzie finishes her scene, so as planned, she starts walking towards her trailer.
"Miss Olsen, do you have a minute?" The teacher rushes to Lizzie once she sees her.
"Oh, sure. Is everything okay? Please don't tell me, Y/N got into some trouble again" Lizzie sighs.
"No, no. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Y/N's quite struggling. Especially with reading" The teacher starts, explaining everything to Lizzie who is more than shocked she hasn't noticed anything before.
When the two say goodbye, Lizzie starts walking to her trailer again, wondering how is it possible she hasn't found out about Y/N's troubles earlier.
"Y/N/N?" Lizzie calls, stepping into her trailer.
"I'm here!" Y/N calls back. "Working on the papers to school!" She adds.
Of course she got a stack of papers to do over her suspension, so she wouldn't be behind the others when she gets back to school. And to not make her mother mad even more, she decided to work on them. There's nothing much she can do anyway.
"That's good. Was everything okay at the set school? Did you understand everything?" Lizzie asks softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her daughter's head on which Y/N furrows her brows in confusion. Is not Lizzie mad anymore?
The truth is that she feels horrible for being so mad at her daughter. Sure she's been busy with work, but she feels guilty she hasn't noticed how much Y/N struggles at school.
"All good" Y/N nods.
———
"Y/N/N, sweetheart, can you come here?" Lizzie calls from the kitchen, sitting at the table with a script in front of her, hearing a 'coming' back.
Y/N leaves the living room, walking to the kitchen where her mother called from.
"Could you help me to run my lines, please? Could you read Billy and Tommy's lines for me?" Lizzie asks, patting the chair next to her.
"I-Hm. I-I don't know, mom" Y/N says, nervously playing with her fingers and looking down at the ground.
"It's only a few sentences, honey. Please" Y/N ends up nodding, though she's really not ready for her mom to know about her reading difficulties. "There's no need to be anxious or worried. Come here, sweetheart" Y/N walks closer to her mother who pulls her to sit on her lap. "I spoke to the set teacher. She told me you have little troubles with reading. But that's completely fine. We're gonna practice together, yeah?"
"You're not mad?" Y/N asks quietly, still playing with her fingers nervously.
"Of course not, honey. I should have noticed earlier. I'm sorry how I acted earlier. If you ever have any problem, you can always come to me, okay?" Lizzie questions, earning a nod. "Let's practice a little now" She smiles, taking the script. "Could you read this for me?" She questions, pointing at the sentence with her finger.
The pair sits there for quite a long time, Lizzie helping her daughter to read every single word Y/n has a problem with. And to be honest, Lizzie's actually impressed how good of an actress her daughter is. The way Y/N repeats the sentences Lizzie had helped her to read like she's actually acting gets Lizzie thinking.
She promised herself she would not let her child to step into the film industry until she's 18, but if learning the script could help her daughter with her dyslexia, maybe just a small role wouldn't hurt. If it's something Y/N would want, of course.
----------------------
Elizabeth Olsen masterlist
Masterlist
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eremorte · 2 months
Text
thronecoming heritage hall gifts (rewritten)
The Thronecoming heritage hall gifts bug me. Most of them don’t feel like a parent has gifted them. They are so uninspired for the biggest moment in their child’s life.
I’ve listed my replacements below. I’m hoping for the gifts to have a, if had-to-do-it-again-here’s-what-I’d-want vibe.
blondie lockes
OG gift: running shoes
rewritten gift: a new piece of tech that helps her with her mirror cast. A shiny new microphone or even just a cute news reporter accessory that acknowledges her unintended break from destiny (or rather extremely developed hobby/career because her story can be over in like 30 minutes) it also gives off the initial impression that blondie’s story is “just right” the way it is until.. boom! There’s a note.
That mentions that as Goldilocks has reflected on her role and how she regrets hurting the bears the ways she has* and with an extra perceptive daughter like blondie she is sure to find a worthy story (within bounds) that won’t cause baby bear to develop a complex. *insert long list of things here that blondie could comment on in her stead because the story book of legends didn’t write every worthwhile critique of the bear house and the bears despite “forgiving” her won’t let her talk to them about this* and a small comment of how she is super proud about blondie that hopefully eases some of her attention seeking behavior so she’s less of a brat later on.
cerise hood:
OG Gift: picnic basket with an electronic mirror lock.
revised gift: honestly I have no comment. This is a great gift. My only question is how recently the presents are placed in the hall seeing as how that basket spit up a whole bird leg. Maybe it has a special note of the picnic menu they have in celebration once the whole shebang is done.
o hair twins:
OG gift floating hair brushes
rewritten gift given how Rapunzel’s story is that she was locked away her whole life because her bio mom ate a magical plant while pregnant that the witch wasn’t sure of the side effects of and had to lock her away because damn sure bio parents couldn’t do anything if the witch was second guessing herself. What I think should be there are odd bits an bobs function like an Easter egg hunt of a map and post fairytale notes one what they are that Rapunzel is certain her girls can figure out because they have her plant powers (though probably diluted hence the helpful notes incase they have to solve things like their adoptive grandma ).
briar beauty
NOW FOR THE GIRL WHO INSPIRED THIS POST. Her gift makes me so angry. It is the most nothing gift of the whole bunch. You mean to tell me that a hundred year sleep doesn’t come with any regrets at all? Not one thing?
OG gift A neck pillow.
revised gift: A SCRAPBOOK. The first few pages could be filled with pictures of her family. Bonus points if they’re are people Briar wouldn’t have gotten the chance to meet but knows who they are by virtue of her mom. It hits home exactly how big her sacrifice is. Also all the storybook imagery? The intro? Imagine if there was a dark time line where we were being told everything that happen through briar who missed all of it and is trying to piece back something familiar?
either way, mental breakdown and existential crisis guaranteed.
also bonus. It’s totally merchandisable. Half the book mercy was essentially scrapbooks/concept art anyhow.
Cedar wood: revealer rays
it’s a good gift but something she wouldn’t be able to use in her story at all. They are not subtle and most everyone who knows about Cedar knows that Pinocchio didn’t mess up her eyes to the point she’d feasibly need glasses. Revised gift: letters from the blue fairy (well wishes, maybe an helpful hint or two) Gepetto and Pinocchio (things to to try (and not repeat) once she’s no longer wooden and how to lie effectively) I can’t think of a physical possession for Cedar to have. But I feel she’d appreciate these. Maybe a special cricket/donkey whistle?
duchess swan:
no gift shown but what I have in mind is a mix of briar and blondie’s gift.
a collection of letters (written on leaves and paper or something) from both her mom and her bio dad detailing the bitter sweet love in the tragedy to reassure duchess it’s not all bad. And a special pair of dancing shoes for her last night as a human. I imagine this gift would only make duchess mad.
Madeline hatter:
no gift shown and honestly idk what the mad hatter gives his daughter it’s probably perfect. An old hat that looks very normal actually? A crazy new teapot? Who knows?
raven queen:
og gift wand wishing well coin
honestly I want to know the logic behind the wand. Is it a back up battery in case apple thwarts raven through zapping away her powers somehow?
I have multiple suggestions
Something that contains directions to the true SBOL
recipe for the poison apple
something that originally belonged to someone in the Snow White family that she is proud enough to share with her daughter (raven would probably give it back).
*blondie branches out mentions how Goldilocks promised to be a better person.
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stilesb0 · 13 days
Note
I heard u need some baku requests so I’m here to place one 🥸
Bakugou x fem reader where she confessed to him in middle school but he rejects her, few years later in U.A she has a major glow up and he starts to catch feelings. (Bonus if he gets a tad jealous from hearing their guy classmates talking abt her)
I thank you for this request! It’s is quite short, but I am planning a part two for this!
Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader
Warnings: bullying, humiliation, Kyoka Jiro is BISEXUAL! Mean Bakugou, as always.
Fear, embarrassment, sadness, it was hard to place the emotions, she stood there, squeezing her hands while she looked down, he was laughing at her, showing his friends the very personal letter she had written for him. She could feel the tears threaten to spill out, she couldn’t even form words.
“I find that you brighten up the room every time you enter it, I honestly don’t know what this feeling is, but if you’d give me a chance, I’d like for us yo get to know eachother.” Bakugou’s friend mocked in a stereotypical high voice, sounding nowhere near like y\n.
She bit her lip, holding back her sobs as Izuku Midoriya escorted her out of the class room. Middle school was hell since then, absolute, living, burning, hell.
UA high, the best hero school in Japan, she honestly couldn’t believe she was excepted, not that she didn’t have an amazing quirk, but because of her lack of points. Y\N made her way through the school gates, her large Canvas satchel bag at her side. She was running a bit late so she was quite literally Skidding around every corner to make her way into 1-A, only to stop upon a large door.
“What in all things holy?” Y\N blinked up at the door, it was weird, because the door handle was quite low, no one of that height would have been able to reach it.
The girl just shrugged it off and opened the door, to be faced with an older man, and if she was into older man, she’d probably find him attractive…if he didn’t look like a bright yellow caterpillar.
“Wait.” She blinked rapidly for a second. “Aren’t you the erasure hero, eraser head?” She smiled brightly, “I’m quite a fan, I admire how you try to stay out of the press.”
Aizawa stared.
“Sorry, i’m L\N Y\N, but please, call me Y\N.” She smiled. “I’ll go find a seat now, I’m sorry I’m a bit late, I missed my train (?)”
“It’s fine, sit down.” He replied exhaustedly.
Y\N faced the class, finally realising who else was in the class. Her face harden, seeing as the only seat left was next to him. ‘So cliche.’ She thought, before making her way over the the seat next to Bakugou, placing her bag under the desk. She didn’t look at him, not even a glance, she couldn’t even form the words on how much she despised him.
He, on the other hand…stared at her as if she was unrecognisable, also noticing how Denki kaminari and Kyoka Jiro were staring at her.
“That is the hottest girl I have ever seen.” Denki whispered under his breath.
“You’ve said that about every girl that entered this room.” Jiro rolled her eyes.
“Except you.” Denki snapped back, though, he definitely thought she was good looking.
“Shut up.” Jiro rolled her eyes.
Bakugou watched the conversation, only really picking up Denki’s first sentence, and for some odd reason, he could feel the all to familiar anger bubble in is gut.
——————————————————
Bro, it actually so short, I am so sorry 😭😭🙏🙏 I fr didn’t mean for it to be so short, I’ve literally written over 1000 words for a single chapter, but it’s nearly 11 and I have to be up early tomorrow <\3
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spicyicetea · 2 months
Text
Just my luck that I'd mention the poll saying one thing and it suddenly changing. I've decided that I'm going to go off of what the poll says as I'm writing chapter 1. Currently its caught between having no powers and being able to take peoples powers when they've been defeated. I'm going to go off of the idea that she can take powers from someone once they're dead, but the power is weakened. For example, she could take a dead mans stand but it would be nowhere near as strong as it was with the original user. I hope this makes all parties happy, yall still get your horny yanderes don't worry.
You were always ours
JJBA various!Yandere x reader
MDNI with this story it will contain NSFW themes and behaviour, you are responsible for the content you consume. TW!Blood/Mentions of Sexual assault/Y/N degrades herself due to past abusive relationship.
prologue/(Chapter 1)/Next part
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With a groan and your head rocking against the cold stone beneath, you lifted yourself up. The left side of your head and hair were wet, having been soaking in the puddle you awoke in. Everying still hurts, head spinning in a nauseating way. What had just happened? Where were you? Your hands were covered in light scratches, stinging as your fingers flexed to gain your bearings. The last thing you remembered was… yes that thing grabbing you and your eye.
“Thank god you're awake! Y/N are you alright?” Eliana knelt beside you, cradling her own arm.
Blood ran down her fingers and dripped into the puddle, a rather large gash in her upper arm. In her other hand was a what looked like a letter opener, bloodied and chipped. Her hair was a knotted mess as she grabbed your face and tilted it left and right, inspecting the bruises from the harsh ground. She pause, starring at your eye with an odd intensity.
“Holy shit, no way, that looks the exact same as their birthmark. A star but not perfect, slightly warped… oh no… is that why we're here? Is this England?”
“Eliana, what are talking about-” She harshly turned your head to look at your reflection in the water, and as she stated, one of your pupils was now a strange looking star.
“So that wasn't a dream… I did see my eye right in our dorm. Wait does that mean that purple thing was real too?”
“Purple thing?”
“Yeah, there was this man who grabbed me from behind when i tried to help you after you passed out, but his body was purple…”
“No way… that was-”
“What are two little ladies like you doing out here in the middle of the night. Didn't think girlies like you were prostitutes.”
A man grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking you up to stand on the tips of your toes. You hissed in pain as he held your hair tightly, his other hand grabbing the neck of your shirt. His friend just stood behind Eliana grabbing her arms as she went to punch him.
“Woah there pretty girl, you'll get your turn once we're done with your friend here.” They laughed, fear shooting up your neck, feeling the bile rising in your throat.
“Get off of her you bastard,” Eliana thrashed, biting the mans arm.
Despite how much you wanted to scream and gouge this fuckers eyes out, you couldn't move. It had been a year since your ex had been chased off by Eliana, but it seemed he still haunted you. The echoes of his hands against your bruised skin, nails digging into you neck as he squeezed as hard as he could. Why? To punish you of course. You had spilt cola all down his shirt and you had to be taught a lesson. Always misbehaving, you couldn't do anything right. Maybe he's still watching you… maybe you deserved this. It was impossible to see with your vision obscured with tears, just letting yourself go limp as your legs became cold due to your trousers falling to your ankles. Just like him… you can just play dead and he'll get bored.
“What are you doing? That's no way to treat a lady!”
Your bare legs hit the ground as your ears rang, barely keeping you conscious. A pair of hands grabbed your shoulders as someone pulled you to your feet, helping fix your clothes. As the ringing stopped, new voices stood out from the general ambience, helping bring you out of your trance.
“Is she going to be alright? Poor thing, no true gentleman would even think of touching a woman like that. Such a fair maiden as well…”
“She'll be fine, it isn't the first time… sorry that's not my information to divulge…” Eliana said, her face coming into focus as she wiped tears from your cheeks with a handkerchief.
“Not the first? Blimey… good thing Jonathan and I got here when we did. Ah her eyes, hey are you feeling better?”
You looked over the three people in front of you, Eliana handing a handkerchief to a blue haired man. To his right was a blond man, the one who was just speaking, his eyes scanning over your face attentively. Swallowing down the feeling of anxiety as much as possible, you nodded and he smiled, turning to his friend to get his attention. His friend turned to you with a soft smile, handing you the handkerchief motioning to bellow your nose. You touch your upper lip and notice the small amount of blood stuck to it, you must have bitten your lip in the struggle.
“Ah thank you…” Your eyes scanned the cloth he had handed you, reading the name on it. “Jonathan Joestar. Thank you Jonathan, genuinely thank you so much.” Tears bubbled up in your eyes as you stepped forward, your shaky legs giving way as you face plant into his chest. He gasped before grabbing your shoulder, his other hand raising your head by your chin to make sure you hadn't hurt yourself. It was like the world went silent, his eyes staring into your own. His thumb rubbed over your bottom lip as his pupils dialated, head cocking to the side before he jolted back. His friend had put a hand on his shoulder, muttering something before he gasped and let you go.
“Ah yes! I have to return to father! Thanks for reminding me Speedwagon, you should accompany me! After my father is given his antidote I'm sure he'd let you stay with us, you wouldn't have to worry about nasty men like that anymore. I'd keep you safe.”
“I… I cant accept that Jonathan, you've already done enough.”
“Nonsense! I can't leave a defenceless woman like yourself in such a dangerous area!”
“He's right, these streets aren't safe for a sweet woman like yourself, I should know.” Speedwagon added, him and Jonathan sharing a strange look before nodding and turning back to you.
“I'm flattered, I really am but I cant leave my friend behind-”
“Then she can come to, come on then keep up we don't have time to waste!” Jonathan picked you up by your hips, holding you bridal style in his arms and he ran from the alley.
“HEY WAIT UP” Eliana yelled, running after him and Speedwagon.
“I said you had to keep up!” Jonathan yelled back, smiling down at you.
There was something about that smile, so sweet and consuming. He was so… warm. Maybe he was right… having somewhere warm to sleep would be nice. So warm…
While resting your head against his chest your eyes slipped closed, falling asleep against him. You couldn’t see the way he smiled down and squeezed you tighter, just making you mumble in your sleep.
“So what are you going to do with my friend while you’re confronting Dio huh?” Eliana said, catching up finally.
“Wow, you’re faster than you look. I’ll do what I have to… wait, how do you know about Dio.”
“We overheard you talking earlier, mentioning him poisoning your father.”
Jonathan gave her a suspicious look, before turning his head back to your sleeping form, running a hand through your hair, despite the knots and wet half. Eliana observed his motions and her face contorted in concern. This isn’t how Jonathan is meant to be acting, we shouldn’t throw off the plot too much… but Y/N she doesn’t know… is he glaring at me? Eliana snapped out of her thoughts as her eyes met Jonathan’s again, caught in a harsh glare. His gaze soon softened as he put on a smile but it was too late.
“I can carry Y/N, she’s my friend after all.”
“Oh don’t worry, she’s perfectly happy with me, what was you name again?”
“Eliana.”
“Well Eliana, we’re at my home, I’d appreciate it if you waited outside with Speedwagon while I tend to my father. Y/N is staying with me.”
“What, no what if Dio-“
“I’ll handle Dio, now stay here, it’s not safe for you.” Jonathan left to go inside as Speedwagon put a hand on Eliana’s shoulder, stopping her from following.
“So that’s your name darling… Y/N… how pretty. Hmm, Y/N Joestar.” His eyes widen as you shift in your sleep, clinging to his shirt as he tightens his grip on you. “Oh you’re so precious.”
“What have you got there Jonathan? Already moved on from the last wench, or is she some…” the man paused staring down at you. Jonathan shifted you to his side, placing your body down by the door.
“Dio… keep your evil eyes off of her. Now, we have business to discuss!”
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w1ldthoughts · 2 months
Text
Groomzilla
A/n: Some Valentine’s Day heartbreak❤️
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“Do you think the place cards should be scarlet or crimson?”
You sigh, rubbing your temples with your index fingers at Jack’s eighth question in the last hour. “They’re both red babe, pick whichever one you want.”
He stands up and shows you the different pieces of paper like that’s going to spark your interest. “These are very different. Scarlet is a lot brighter and crimson is more warm, which one would look better?”
“What does Monica think?” Your fiancé and your wedding planner had been practically attached at the hip since this who process began. He definitely had her on speed dial which made you laugh, only until he inevitably asked you another random question. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to give him your opinion on things, it was just that he desperately wanted to give you the wedding of your dreams and his micromanaging along the way really had you counting down the minutes until he went back to normal.
All you could do was laugh to yourself at his inability to relinquish some control over the planning, even if that was Monica’s literal job. But at the end of the day you couldn’t wait to spent the rest of your days with him, even if he was driving you a little insane. You stood up to meet him at his spot on the couch, taking the laptop from him to look at the screen.
“Well…the crimson looks a lot nicer with the pink and white flowers on the side. Scarlet looks a little too orange.” The light in his eyes when he looks at you sometimes is something you want to bottle up and keep forever. Everyone should experience a love like this in their life and you can’t believe that you’re one of the lucky ones to say that you get to be with your soulmate, for the rest of your life.
You’d always thought about your wedding, making Pinterest boards or taking mental notes whenever inspiration would strike. And then you met Jack and all of the plans you had began to fall into place. This fantasy became an unreal reality. He nodded his head at your suggestion and placed a peck on the side of your head and continued working on other stuff. He had plans to head to a studio to work on some new music this week and hoped that some inspiration would strike to help him write his wedding vows.
The idea of writing your own vows was his and the thought of having to compete with an MC, a literal lyricist in front of all of your friends and family as you poured your heart out to him really made you want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Jack left early the next morning and would so you tried your best to get some writing done of your own. It wasn’t like you had a lack of feelings, it was finding a way to articulate all of these overwhelming emotions without one, embarrassing yourself by bursting into tears in front of God and everyone but also letting him know how he’d changed your life for the better and gave you a love that was worth a thousand love letters. You spent the first day doing anything to distract yourself, going over the seating chart and making sure that the menu for your bridesmaid lunch the day before the wedding was everything that you wanted.
After practically going over every task possible, you headed to the store to distract yourself even more. You did need to eat dinner at some point. Going up and down the aisles, you really wished you’d made a list before leaving the house and you decided to look on Instagram to find an easy recipe to replicate. For some odd reason, you were inclined to open up your DM requests too. There was a message, a thread of messages actually from some girl detailing an intimate night with your fiancé only three months prior.
I’m so sorry to be the one to tel you this but the guilt has been eating away at me. I saw a TMZ article on Twitter talking about your upcoming wedding and I just couldn’t let you do this without giving you the full story.
She had met Jack in Vegas when he was performing and was somehow invited to the after party. He’d had some shots with her and his friends, dancing the night away. Some time later she found herself making out with him in his presidential suite. One thing led to another and she had been trying to figure out a way to contact him and let him know she’s pregnant.
You probably read those messages 100 times and each time a piece of your heart sank into your stomach. Your mouth went dry and your grocery shopping was forgotten. There was no way you couldn’t confront Jack about this. Without even bothering to pay for any of the stuff in your cart, you left the store and headed to the studio immediately.
Jack was sitting at a large table in a room outside the recording booth and some of his friends were hanging out on the couches. The look on your face must’ve told everyone that this was a serious conversation because the room cleared out almost immediately.
“Baby…” he whispers, “what’s going on?” He stands up to look you over, placing his hands on your shoulders, getting increasingly worried at your void stare. Like you were looking right through him. “Can you tell me what’s going on please? You’re scaring me.”
You handed him the phone and all of the color in his face was drained. “Y/n, I have no idea who this girl is. I promise you, it’s not what you think.”
“Jack there are multiple pictures of you with her at the club. I don’t even know how someone can come to me with this much evidence and I’m not supposed to believe her?” The tremble in your voice was horrifying to you but it devastated him.
“Okay yes, maybe I took a couple pictures with this girl. I take pictures with fans all the time but that other shit? You know I would never ever do that to you. Ever.”
“Do I?” You scoff. “Because I love you Jack but there are still things about your life and career that I’m still getting used to. It’s not easy.”
Jack runs his hands through his curls, feeling his frustration growing but not wanting to fuel the fire. “I get that but you also have to trust me. How are we supposed to be getting married if every time someone messages you, you run to me with these accusations? It creates unnecessary problems and that’s what these girls want.”
He reaches out for you and you can’t bring yourself to let him off that easily. “I’m sorry but this is just a lot. How am I supposed to just get over this?”
“Because that shit isn’t true! And it’s really pissing you off that you don’t believe me.” His body was stiff, limbs suddenly feeling a lot heavier with this invisible weight continually placed on his shoulders. He always felt like he had to prove himself in life and in his career, but it hurt that now he also had to prove himself to you. “I’m not doing this with you. I have to work and if you don’t believe me, then you don’t. I don’t really know what else to tell you.”
Something about him leaving you that room alone felt final. It felt like some sort of goodbye and you really wished that you’d gone about this conversation differently. Maybe the stress of planning a wedding and going through this massive life change had manifested in different ways for you than it had for Jack. He threw himself head first in the planning, controlling every detail and you pushed your emotions and your stress down, until you cracked today at a simple Instagram DM. You knew deep down that he would never hurt you but could you really live the rest of your life wondering if one day he would? Could you handle being the wife of a celebrity and deal with the women would inevitably try to get in the way of what you’d worked so hard to build? Because those 5 messages almost destroyed several years of the best relationship you’ve ever had.
That was all it took. Was your relationship that fragile? Was your trust in him that little? Could your marriage even survive big things if you couldn’t handle these small bumps in the road? The disbelief and pain in Jack’s face when you accused him of cheating was something you’d be replaying in your mind for a long time and you wish you were surprised at the text you received that evening.
I’m staying at Urban’s for the next few days. I think we need to take some time apart and figure out what we really want and if we want those things together. I love you more than anything in this world but if you can’t trust me with the little things, I don’t know if you’ll ever trust me with the big things and that’s what I want in a marriage.
It was gut wrenching but he was right and you had a lot of things to reevaluate. And this was a problem that you would need to navigate alone, not knowing if Jack was ever going to come home to you.
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