#LITERALLY. I can explain.

[darubyprincx]

I HAVE SEEN THE FACE OF OBLIVION AND IT TOOK THE SHAPE OF MODDED MINECRAFT.

#amys' tag #modded minecraft adventures with the keys #LITERALLY. I can explain.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[mumblesplash]

in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem

#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake #if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation #my art #god at this point i really do need a writing tag don’t i #<- will continue not addressing this #secret life #goodtimeswithscar #grian #secret life spoilers #sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again #if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well you’re more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything #i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow #right now i am just. very tired #but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter #i literally made this on accident against my will #i was trying to DRAW

[steddiealltheway]

Something that is canon in my mind that I forget to tell people:

The reason why Steve can’t get bitches in his Scoops Ahoy era is because there’s a rumor going around that he’s gay (probably because someone caught him hooking up with Eddie)

#how else can you explain it??? #he is so so babygirl #all the girls would be literally at his feet begging for this man to date them #unless… they think he’s trying to make them his beard #also with the lipgloss and mascara… #it just adds fuel to the fire #and think. if Steve and Eddie were hooking up before scoops in a fwb gone wrong or secret relationship gone wrong type of situation… #aka Steve catches feelings and runs because of internalized homophobia and a fear of getting caught #there could be a season three rewrite of Steve catching feelings for Robin because she reminds him of Eddie #and after Robin comes out to him #Steve’s like “oh. maybe there are more people like me in Hawkins than I imagined. if she deserves a happy ending with a girl #why can’t I get a happy ending with a guy? #and steve slowly is able to come to terms with his sexuality #meanwhile eddie seeks out Dustin and the kids who steve has ranted and raved about #but he plays it off as him happening to find lost sheep #lots of thoughts… lots of thoughts… #all thoughts to explain why Steve isn’t able to get bitches #steve harrington #steddie #stranger things #scoops ahoy steve #stranger things headcanons

[findafight]

Robin chose Steve. Robin made the conscious and deliberate decision that she could and would trust Steve. She already liked him! She had fun working and bantering with him! They were already on their way to being weird little bffs and the torture just expedited the process. Steve chose Robin just the same! He thinks she's fun and cool and likes her so much! He chose to be honest and open with her too, putting himself out there.

Even though their interests on the surface level don't match why wouldn't they share them? Steve clearly caves when Robin wants to watch a movie he doesn't think he'll like, Robin can watch a March madness game or five.

Stop trying to take away their bond oh my god people can be close to more than one person!!! Their best friend doesn't have to be dismissive or mean or whatever in order for a romance to be special to them!

#if i have to see another fic or whatever that makes it seem like robin doesnt give a shit about what steve likes and talkes about im going #to scream and maybe even rampage #its nice to sit down and have someone who knows explain who the players are and what the stakes for this particular game!! #just because yall seem to not think anyone can be nutral towards sports doesnt mean people aren't #literally why is it so hard to believe robin would like to hear steve talk as much as steve likes to hear her talk #i am so close to telling some steddie shippers to not look at steve or robin or their friendship because some of yall do Not get it. #its like you can see them go 'have to make sure eddie is the most perfect specialest boy for steve...well that means robin doesn't Get Him ' #or 'robin ignores him/dismisses his interests/isnt told everything happening in his life' like okay dont ever touch them again thanks #robin is steves specialest sunshine cupcake goober girl. steve is robins bestest happy times sweet funnyman. dont u dare take that away. #omce again tsgs longer than the post but ah well. #stobin #platonic stobin #robin buckley #steve harrington #stranger things #finda's rambles #steve and robin #this is a scheduled post just to jazz things up i guess #but seriously some of yall need to STOP MESSIGN WITH STOBIN

[4pp13-ju1c3]

this ONEs a real doozy!! (i am ill and will not recover. this series has left me irreparably damaged)

#dude the investigation spin off literally had me frothing at the mouth #i’ve been experimenting w all their designs recently so excuse any irregularities!!! #also can i explain to you how much i love the pen i used 4 all of these #applz artz #art #object show art #osc #object show community #hfjone #hfjone airy #hfjone scenty #amelia euler #hfjone amelia #hfjone soda bottle #bryce hansen #hfjone bryce #hfjone backpack #liam plecak #hfjone liam #sodascentpack #and technically just some #sodapack #too but guys i’m going insane they #they drive me insane #hfjone parker #parker robins #parker is going a little crazy!! #hfjone ava #ava ledger

[spitblaze]

"Well I WASN'T gonna watch the show about the deeply discriminatory wizard world that thinks slavery is cool and good with writing that constantly employs racist and homophobic and bigoted metaphors and language written by a violent transphobe who pals around with nazis that has stated multiple times that she considers all engagement with her work, ESPECIALLY monetary engagement (money that she uses millions upon millions of to fund discriminatory organizations and legislation by the way), to be validation of her views but you were kinda mean about it on tumblr so you've really twisted my arm here"

#spitblaze says things #READ ANOTHER BOOK #LEARN TO CARE ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE #STOP GIVING MONEY TO NAZIS I DONT KNOW HOE TO IMPRESS THIS UPON PEOPLE #WE HAVE BEEN EXPLAINING THIS AS NICELY AS POSSIBLE FOR YEARS BUT PWOPLE KEEP GOING #'yeah but i can separate the art from the artist right?' #NO. YOU CANT. YOU LITERALLY CANT BECAUSE SHE WILL NOT LET YOU

[segasys]

Ramune :]

(oops image is kinda big)

alternates under

I couldn’t decide which one was best, I’m just a sucker for blue->purple->pink blend hue whatever you want to call it

#The ghost!! He draws!!!!! #weeblr’s insane ramblings #rain world fanart #rw gourmand #rw spearmaster #rw rivulet #rw cream soda #rw ramune #First off #thanks for the 100+ followers :D #I’ll make a post on that soon #And now I can explain why I call this ship ramune #it’s literally because I like ramune and like to collect the bottles #(Although I only have two right now) #and I had one of my ramune bottles next to me #and I thought “well gourm and spear are already soda themed what if we just make riv like the marble” #and so heres ramune because I refuse to follow the other ship names #this also took me 4 days to make when it really could’ve taken me one if I had the time #:( #anyway I hope you like it #sry the image is so big #also my designs are getting a revamp which makes me a little sad since this one has the old ones #but I just really liked this idea #maybe Ill do it again another time #God I have no idea how lighting and shading works #Shhhhh no one saw my mistake shhhhh

[tfshouldidohere]

Mammon in every timeline:

#this can be platonic or romantic #honestly my boy 😭 #like he is literally made to be with MC 😭 #God i cant even begin ti explain 😭 #obey me #swd obey me! #shall we date obey me #obey me swd #obeyme #obey me! #obey me shall we date #mammon #shall we date mammon #swd mammon #obey me mammon

[stealingpotatoes]

I stumbled across your art and I love it but I'm afraid I have very little knowledge of Star Wars canon - I've seen all the movies but it's been a while, and I watched the Mandalorian with my parents but I haven't seen any of the other shows - so I think I am... a bit out of my element 😭 a little help?

dw bro i got u. so anakin is like space jesus and he gets taken in by the jedi, who legally can't marry, but he's kind of a slag so he marries the queen-now-senator he and his brother-father-bestie-master helped save 10 years ago, and she's also in love with him despite his numerous red flags. these red flags become a problem tho bc at the end of the war (theres a war btw. a star war if u will) anakin goes a bit delulu trying to save padme from dying in childbirth and goes evil, and padme dies of being sad anyway. BUT NOT BEFORE giving birth to twins who are given to anakin's step-brother and padme's best friend so anakin-now-vader doesn't find them

fast forward 19 years there's another star war between the evil empire vader helped found and the rebellion (good guys). leia (totally senator bail organa's daughter and not vader's) gets captured trying to deliver plans on how to blow up an evil empire planet-blower-upper. but she gives it to two gay droids who go find an even gayer farmer (luke) WHO'S ANAKIN'S SON who finds an old hermit man (gasp! it's anakin's brother-father-bestie-master) to save leia. then her planet gets blown up. but they still save her with the help of an ebay scammer and his carpet friend and then they blow up the blower-upper yayyy

luke then wants to get training but the old man died last movie so he has to get trained by a swamp guy but he runs away when his friends get captured by vader and then luke gets his ass beat and finds out vader's his dad. also the ebay scammer gets turned into a popsicle. and then hung up on a slug's wall, but it's okay cause luke's cool now and he and leia & co save the ebay scammer. then they have to stop a new planet blower-upper so they find some weird plushie bears, luke finds out leia's his sister & tells leia, luke goes to face the emperor and vader, once again gets his ass beat but vader saves him like the PTA mom he is and yayyyy empire down!!! new republic!! yayyyy

then the mandalorian's some years after that but season 3 isn't canon bc what really happens is din becomes mand'alor and marries luke. also some people will tell you there's a "sequel trilogy" but this is a lie, that was a mass hallucination

#thanks for the ask! #i'm so good at explaining star wars. perhaps better than george lucas himself #i can explain literally any piece of star wars media probably

[kaleidoru]

i'm feeling sad, so i redesigned an oc i never got to use from 2011

#anthro #furry #cat #feline #witch #oc: bianca #this is her third and final redesign #she is Sadie's mom now (but after a murder attempt on her life) #which means she and The Cat formerly were a Thing for a brief time #she has a third eye as a demon but it was just a esper ability as a mortal and not literal like now #but i guess that explains why sadie can generate a ton of psychic eyes on her body

[quinn-fucks-shit-up]

reverse robins aus have great potential, but it always feels like they're less character studies/stories and more tim fans going, "hey, that's some interesting trauma Jason has, how about we give that to Tim instead"

#i shouldnt have to explain how weird that is #tim has his own shit going on #and dying is literally the most important thing to happen to jason #if you do a switch then tim has too much going on and jason can never develop beyond robin #and switch is a kind word for the change #robin #reverse robins #robin dc #dc #batman #batfam #red robin #red hood #jason todd #tim drake

[collectingeggs]

Hey Philever nation, during this entire exchange between Phil and Forever, Phil never said he doesn't love Forever or that he doesn't want to be with him, no. His only complaint was that Forever loves him only because he reminds him of Brunim

#can you hear me fucking scream #Phil literally chased after him trying to explain this to him #this emotionally repressed fucking bird fuck (i say that with love) #qsmp #q!philza #q!forever #qsmp philza #qsmp forever #philever

[demonicseries]

me explaining how they accidentally made lokius canon using mathematical concepts such as chaos theory and dynamical systems

#i've been trying to write a fic on this since s2e4 came out #and then they literally did what i wrote in the fic in s2e5 #but i've been spending this time trying to learn this field of math so i can explain it better #like i've been meeting with professionals in this field for the sole purpose of writing this fic #(they don't know that though) #if this ever gets finished it will be a certified banger #if you are curious i suggest you read up on chaos theory #and come to the same crazy conclusions i did #lokius #loki

[rotisseries]

I'm bursting at the seams to talk about mike to anyone who will listen, but I feel exhausted just at the thought of explaining will

#mike wheeler #will byers #byler #stranger things #st4 #stranger things 4 #it's like at this point if you need detailed analysis on will you've got more problems than I can fix y'know? #explaing mike's queercoding to someone feels like you're socrates gifting the youth of athens with philosophical enlightenment #whereas being asked to explain why will is gay feels like you've spent the past 10 minutes #explaining something that someone should ALREADY understand #AND THEN you realize they weren't paying any attention and you've got to repeat literally everything #anyway this is a little bit related to my post from a few days ago about me rambling to my friend about mike #bc I know if she'd said ''explain will'' i'd've been like ''in the nicest way possible are you fucking blind?''

[moeblob]

I spent 3 hours replying to this anon simply to say "everyone gets a Vaporeon (except Sylvain)".

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #bernadetta von varley #marianne von edmund #ferdinand von aegir #sylvain jose gautier #fe three houses #pkmn #long post #i would literally explain why everyone fits with vaporeon (except sylvain) but that would take too much time to draw #however there are super valid reasons i could list for why everyone deserves a vaporeon (except sylvain) #also fun fact - ferdinand would 100% go out of his way to get bernadetta that shiny eevee to be a shiny vaporeon #she deserves a purple helper and friend and he will make sure she gets that #you cannot tell me ferdinand von aegir wouldnt go the extra mile because he absolutely would #also i provided a why so i dont want anyone to argue with these picks because i know im right #and i can provide reasons for everyone (except sylvain) to have a vaporeon #thank you its dinner time bye please appreciate this @ you anon i spent so long on this post