I know I can knock out all my work tasks today. Intellectually, I KNOW. I am getting stronger every day.
But I just put in a request to get disability services from my employer again.
I need to cover my bases.
I hate that anything programming or statistical (essentially my whole job) causes trauma freezes.
I hate that my ex/spouse's lawyer (and my ex/spouse) lied to my lawyer about how we were both responsible for our own health insurance.
I feel like this needs to be reiterated: my able-bodied, autistic, queer spouse kicked out (and threatened, abused, yelled at, made life hell-ish) their disabled, autistic, chronically ill, queer partner (me) out of the home that I paid for (rent, utilities, apt insurance, health insurance, food, etc.) (yes, they contributed money to those things but I did most of the emotional and financial labor of it all). They promised to put me on their health insurance but didn't. They cheated me out of so much. They put me in complete disarray not just for that period of time but for months and months and months. I bet they were hoping I'd just kill myself. They thought I was, you know. That's why they were going to take my medication away but their mom told them not to.
As I told my therapist and psychiatrist several times, I would have absolutely killed myself (if they didn't kill me first somehow) if I didn't leave. I would have done it while telling them I loved them so much. That's how bad the narcissistic abuse was.
I know I've been grieving in all sorts of ways. And I do believe that they need help. They absolutely do. I wish the best for them, and I truly don't want them to die.
But they made my life miserable, and I am trying my best to get my own sense of justice and peace the best way I know how.
I could have (and my friends think I should have) done worse. (aka press charges)
I wasn't even going to file the PFA. I wasn't even going to do anything. I was just going to do what I've always done and start over.
They left me in shambles while they and their ex and their friends all think I'm the "real abuser" and laugh at me. Their lawyer thinks I'm being vindictive and punitive.
They're laughing at a chronically disabled (I pee blood when I'm stressed y'all... amongst other things), autistic, trans person of color who grew up as an immigrant and poor (sometimes middle-class) child in the country who suffered horrific childhood and other partner abuse. My ex/spouse knew all of that. They knew I'd been raped and assaulted and abused.
Do you realize that? Do you know how fucked up that is?
They're laughing while my ex/spouse makes ~150k/yr and has the LUXURY of not going to doctor/dentist/therapy/whatever appointments because they're way more abled than I am....
They wouldn't even be making that much if I didn't emotionally and financially support us while they quit their job to do extra training and education to get that job.
I guess I'm just good enough to be used and tossed away.
They're laughing while my ex/spouse hires a more expensive lawyer just to bully me into not getting enough spousal support and other asset costs, while I'm financially trying to rebuild.
And I am trying my best to live my life now. I grieve and cry every single day. You don't see it in my social media pictures, but I do. My heart and brain are full of love, life, and curiosity... but I am still grieving hardcore. And I will be for a very long time.
Most narcissistic abuse survivors grieve for... years.
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Mysterious ebook about (by?) fugitive chief of staff to former Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan could set interesting legal precidents
How the Roy McGrath e-book could affect his criminal case
by Pamela Wood and Tim Prudente
The mysterious book purporting to tell the true story about fugitive former government official Roy McGrath was published on Wednesday morning.
Political insiders and others fascinated with McGrath’s case quickly started reading the 52-page book, which author Ryan Cooper claims was written with cooperation from McGrath. Law enforcement is reading as well, and legal experts expect the book will affect McGrath’s federal case on charges of wire fraud, theft and falsifying a document — if he is ever tried.
McGrath was the chief of staff to then-Gov. Larry Hogan in the summer of 2020. His career quickly unraveled after it was reported that he’d negotiated a generous severance payout from the state agency where he previously worked when he left to join the governor’s team.
Investigations by journalists, state lawmakers and criminal investigators followed, culminating in state and federal criminal charges in the fall of 2021. McGrath was set to go on trial last week, but he never showed up.
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Former Cork-based Deloitte executive fails in bid to halt criminal prosecution
In the complex realm of financial regulations and legal agreements, the case of Brian Murphy, a former senior audit partner at Deloitte, has stirred significant debate and legal scrutiny. Mr. Murphy finds himself entangled in a legal battle concerning alleged tax offences, despite asserting his belief that he was shielded from criminal prosecution.
The saga began with a summons issued by the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) in February 2014, relating to an alleged VAT refund claim during Mr. Murphy's tenure as a director of a company. Subsequently, in October 2015, further allegations surfaced regarding tax returns spanning from 2008 to 2012, prompting the DPP to seek criminal summons against him.
Mr. Murphy vehemently denies any wrongdoing, basing his defense on an agreement he claims was reached with Revenue in August 2015. According to him, this agreement, made within the context of civil proceedings, included provisions that would shield him from prosecution as long as he complied with a settlement payment plan.
Adding to the complexity are alleged oral representations made to Mr. Murphy by a legal executive acting on behalf of solicitors representing Revenue. These representations, he argues, reinforced his belief that he would not face criminal prosecution.
However, the High Court's ruling in May of the previous year dealt a blow to Mr. Murphy's hopes, affirming that he could indeed be prosecuted for the alleged tax offences. Despite his legitimate expectations based on agreements and representations, the court's decision sets a precedent that emphasizes the primacy of legal process and obligations.
As the legal proceedings unfold, the case of Brian Murphy underscores the intricate interplay between contractual agreements, oral representations, and the authority of legal institutions in matters of taxation and criminal prosecution.
A FORMER senior audit partner at financial services giant Deloitte has lost an appeal against a High Court ruling that he can be criminally prosecuted for alleged tax offences, despite arguing he had a legitimate expectation that he would not be prosecuted.
In May of last year, the High Court ruled that Brian Murphy, a qualified accountant and former audit partner with the finance firm Deloitte who brought proceedings against the Revenue Commissioners and the Director of Public Prosecutions, could be prosecuted.
In February 2014, the DPP issued a summons against Mr Murphy in relation to an alleged offence concerning a VAT refund claim on behalf of a company of which Mr Murphy had been a director.
In October 2015, the DPP further applied to have a criminal summons issued against Mr Murphy in relation to alleged offences regarding tax returns between 2008 and 2012.
Mr Murphy, of Carrigaline, Co Cork denies any criminal wrongdoing.
Mr Murphy claimed that a criminal prosecution would breach the terms of an agreement between him and Revenue in August 2015 in the context of certain civil proceedings which he claims meant that he would avoid prosecution if he adhered to a settlement payment plan.
Mr Murphy had further relied on certain oral representations he claimed were made to him on behalf of a legal executive working for solicitors acting for Revenue that he would not be prosecuted.
The appellant claimed his prosecution would amount to a breach of his ‘legitimate expectation’.
Legitimate expectation is a legal principle which may apply where a public body leads a person to believe a particular state of affairs to be undertaken and that person acts to his detriment in reliance on their representation.
Dismissing the 2022 application Mr Justice Garrett Simons said Mr Murphy had not established the grounds for his claim of the breach of his legitimate expectation.
Mr Justice Simons said the agreement between Revenue and Mr Murphy was reached in 2015 following a separate decision in 2014 made by the DPP to issue a criminal summons against him.
That summons related to an alleged offence concerning a VAT refund claim on behalf of a company of which Mr Murphy had been a director.
Mr Murphy then entered into talks with Revenue to also discharge other unrelated arrears of tax before coming to an agreement on payments in August 2015.
He undertook to make monthly payments of €4,000 from August 2015 to December 2018 to settle the outstanding taxes. In addition, Mr Murphy offered to make annual lump sum payments ranging between €20,000 and €75,000.
The judge found that the 2015 agreement did not amount to a representation that the DPP would not pursue criminal proceedings against the appellant.
Mr Justice Simons said that if there was an element in the agreement to prevent criminal prosecution it was “inconceivable that this would not have been expressly recorded in its terms”.
Mr Murphy appealed and his lawyers submitted that the judge did not adequately analyse a series of communications between Revenue and Mr Murphy before the signing of the settlement.
At the Court of Appeal, Mr Justice George Birmingham said Mr Murphy had been “anxious” to enter into a settlement agreement with Revenue that could allow him to keep working in order to make his payments but to also enter into a “highly desirable” agreement that would “preclude criminal proceedings already instituted or any further proceedings”.
“On the other hand, the position of the Revenue Commissioners was that they were not going to commit themselves to non-prosecution or to preclude other means of enforcement,” said Mr Justice Birmingham.
The judge said that Revenue had “articulated clearly” to Mr Murphy that their position would be without prejudice to any other enforcement action or prosecution and had stated that this position be “clearly stated” throughout the settlement document.
However, the draft agreement furnished to Mr Murphy had no mention of a “without prejudice” clause. “It was silent on the issue,” said Mr Justice Birmingham. Mr Murphy then signed the document and claimed that the absence of any mention of prosecution meant he had achieved his objective based on previous discussions with Revenue.
“I am quite unable to conclude that the absence of a ‘without prejudice’ clause amounts to an unambiguous and unequivocal representation to the effect that there would be no prosecutions,” said the judge.
Mr Justice Birmingham said that if Mr Murphy’s position regarding any clause was correct then the “prosecution, which had already been launched, would be halted and that the investigation which was at an advanced stage, would also be halted”.
The judge said that if the appellant was correct then it would have meant that even if underpayment of tax during other years, or other irregularities came to light, then “enforcement would be prohibited”.
“I am bound to say that I regard this as an extraordinary proposition. I cannot believe there was any representation to that effect and most certainly I cannot believe there was any representation that was unambiguous and unequivocal,” said the judge, who stressed that the document was “silent” on the matter.
“Nobody who was facing a prosecution and then found that threat lifted would allow the appearance of the threat to remain in place for a day longer than necessary,” he said, adding that Mr Murphy would have “moved immediately” to have them struck out.
Mr Justice Birmingham said the trial judge properly assessed the case and “he was fully entitled to reject the claim, whether formulated in terms of legitimate expectation, or contract, or some cross between the two”.
Mr Justice Birmingham then dismissed the appeal.
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